#i have nothing to complain about except myself and yet here i am complaining

[melancholyhime]

todays a fucking dark one my bretheren

got too fucking close to a truth and now i wanna lock myself out for like a hundred years

[justanotherwriter140]

Kung Fu Panda 4 - The Movie

The last really, really long discussion post (for now).

Major spoilers ahead!

This review is full of spoilers, so please refrain from reading through it until you've watched KFP4. I would highly suggest doing so, as I want everyone to form their own opinions without my influence. The movie has its flaws (some of which admittedly being a bit distracting), but it's a fun film that has things to offer.

Kung Fu Panda 4 is a fun movie (take that as you will) that takes its audience on an action-packed, surprisingly funny, yet relatively contained adventure on which Po doesn't really do much. It's an inconsequential, safe sequel that doesn't really hurt the franchise but adds close to nothing.

I had a good time watching the movie. It was obviously produced with its theater experience in mind and the action scenes especially reflected that priority. The humor was actually funny sometimes and I enjoyed Po and Zhen's dynamic. During the film, I was able to put most (most!) of my grievances aside and take the movie for what it is. I've discovered that the best way to watch KFP4 is with low expectations and an open mind.

I have a lot of things to say about KFP4, both complaints and compliments (though the former might be taking the forefront in this review), and I hope this review can help those of you who have seen the movie organize your thoughts. I've been having a lot of trouble with that specific aspect of things myself. Those who get it get it.

With that said, let's get into my full review of KFP4! I've been waiting for nearly 2 years to write this and I'm so excited to share every single thought.

I'm going to follow the format of my first discussion post and curate a bulleted list of my thoughts, followed by an analysis of each of these points. Keep in mind that everything I say is IMO and this is more of a rant post than anything else.

Here are my main points:

The Furious Five's role is comically minuscule in the context of the film. Their actions are inconsequential and add nothing to the plot (a confirmed last-minute add), and they have 30~ seconds of screen time. Shifu is also largely irrelevant.

Mr. Ping and Li's presence has little to no effect on the movie (though I won't complain too much because they were pretty fun to watch and this movie has bigger problems). In almost any scenario, I am adamantly against having characters present that don't add anything to the narrative; however, Mr. Ping is an exception. I love Mr. Ping. James Hong is a gem.

Zhen's screen time is not utilized well and her character is underdeveloped. She definitely wasn't annoying, but I didn't find her either compelling or funny enough to warrant the screen time she was given, especially considering it wasn't used to establish a backstory/strong motives. This makes me feel bad for the character because the movie kind of screwed her out of any substantial development.

The Chameleon, while complimented greatly by Viola Davis, is an underwhelming villain. Viola Davis is amazing in this film and I would suggest watching it for her performance if for nothing else, but the Chameleon is underwhelming considering the super cool concept behind the character.

The film feels very rushed. Apologies to those who disagree, but I think the pacing is atrocious and the final fight is anticlimactic. The movie felt like a word-vomit with no discernible intermissions that stops abruptly when the film ends.

I felt as though Po didn't change/grow as a person and the audience never had a chance to either bond with or relate to his character. His internal struggle is kept to a minimum and we don't spend a moment alone with him as an audience, which is disorienting and distracting. Watching the film felt like running into an old friend at the store who's too in a rush to have a real conversation.

The action scenes were strong with few exceptions. Creative art direction was utilized and I thought the martial arts choreography was entertaining and dynamic. I love the color palette of the film and many scenes were very impressive visually.

With my main points established, I do believe it's ranting time. Strap in, folks.

Let's start strong with the Furious Five: I'm gutted. Chagrined, despondent, crestfallen, etc.

The lack of the Furious Five negatively affects KFP4 so much, because not only does their absence hurt the atmospheric integrity of KFP as a franchise, it also forces KFP4 to bring in a slew of different characters—all while still noncommittally including the FF at the very end because I believe the marketing team required it—that clog up the cast a bit. It all goes to show how important strong, established side characters are.

The Furious Five are side characters, but the role of "side character" does not equate to being irrelevant, expendable, or exchangeable. I recognize that the Furious Five aren't super developed as characters beyond a handful of lines that allude to traits sprinkled sparingly among the members; however, I believe that the tiny bits of development we have been given have proved impactful in the past. Tigress's development in KFP2 is a prime example of how much narratively conscious changes (however small they may be) can positively affect these movies.

Because of limited runtimes, the Furious Five often operate as more of a singular unit than five individuals. Even so, I don't think discarding them is valid. They're so important to the KFP universe (to Po's universe!) and not having them with him feels so wrong. The Furious Five are fully integral to the heart of Kung Fu Panda, which is why I believe a lot of those who have seen the new movie have expressed something feeling "off" or something being missing.

I agree with this sentiment. To me, KFP4 didn't feel like a KFP movie. I don't need a Furious Five spin-off movie and I can be fully content with a KFP5 centered around Po's journey as an individual as was intended from the beginning, but he can't carry an entire movie on his back. As strong as he is in every sense of the word, he is only one character. He's the centerpiece of the franchise, but a centerpiece can only go so far without the rest of the design, so to speak.

For me, the Furious Five's absence is one of this film's biggest faults. It's huge and glaring. I know I'm not the only one who feels this way, either, because the friends with whom I saw the film refused to talk about any other aspect of the movie after seeing it. Seeing them at the end was better than nothing, of course, but it was a disappointing culmination after eight years of waiting.

That all is to say I feel robbed. Despite all of this, though, I understand that there were reasons why the Furious Five weren't included in the movie. I don't believe the production team would exclude the Furious Five unless they weren't given a choice.

Shifu and Po's dynamic continues to be thoroughly delightful but their interactions are short and simplified. I would have loved to see more of them in this film, especially considering the extreme relevance of teacher-student relationships in KFP4. I (somewhat) digress, though, because the idea of Shifu having to live at the Jade Palace with only Po for an extended period of time is hilarious enough on its own. Maybe that's what the short film is about!

The comedy is odd but has some jokes that stand out. Po maintains a healthy relationship with his inner sass, which I think makes him more fun to watch and kind of eradicates the man-child verdict. Some jokes don't land, of course, but I genuinely thought KFP4 had some funny moments. Mr. Ping was consistently awesome and Po had some good lines sprinkled throughout the film.

As for Mr. Ping, he and Li Shan are the subjects of the film's B-plot as they follow Po to Juniper City out of shared concern for their son's safety. In my mind, they don't add anything to the story that couldn't have been brought about by other characters, but they had their moments of being entertaining. I enjoyed their silliness and thought they had a cute dynamic if nothing else.

Speaking of other characters, I want to discuss KFP4's deuteragonist and why I genuinely feel bad about the way her character was treated.

I want to let it be known that I'm still not on board with Po passing the Dragon Warrior torch to another character. While I agree that his arc is now calling for him to have a student, I disagree with the notion of him retiring from his DW role.

As I stated in my first discussion post:

Didn’t the initial significance and nuance of the title come from the fact that there is only one person who can be the Dragon Warrior, because the concept of the “Dragon Warrior” isn’t so much a title as it is Po himself? The universe (Oogway) must choose the Dragon Warrior because they are a singular being of legend. It is one person, and that person is Po. Wasn’t the point of the first film that the title ultimately doesn’t really matter because there is no “secret ingredient,” so to speak? The title doesn’t actually give Po anything. “It’s just you,” Po says, and that was the resolution.

When it comes to Zhen as a character, contrary to what I predicted I would think of her, I thought she was okay. While I was still a bit distracted by how out-of-place her design looks, I wasn't truly annoyed by her at any point and she and Po had some cute moments. Even so, I think their relationship could have been a bit more refined and developed.

While it's evident that Po and Zhen are meant to have a teacher-student/mentor-apprentice dynamic, I think their relationship feels half-baked. There were parallels that contradicted one another and ended up being confusing come the film's conclusion, and the nature of their relationship seems to vacillate depending on the scene. Additionally, the strength of their bond goes from zero to one hundred within thirty-ish minutes and left me with a bit of whiplash.

We're shown that Po and Zhen care about one another, but we're never shown why. They have a brief conversation during which they bond over being orphans, and Zhen says at one point, "You're actually a good guy," but that's it. This obvious lack of development is a bit disorienting because we're later led to believe that Zhen and Po care very deeply for one another when there's almost nothing to back it up.

A scene that sticks out to me when discussing this is when Zhen attack-hugs Po in a way that explicitly mirrors Tigress's hug from KFP2. This happens around the beginning of the third act, and while it had the potential to be an endearing moment, I think it fell flat.

The impact of Tigress's hug was brought on by her character's hardcore nature and reputation of being heartless, further strengthened with the knowledge that she was hugging Po (which was obviously way outside her comfort zone) as a show of companionship and fundamental understanding. Tigress hugged Po because he needed someone to recognize his strive for closure.

Zhen's hug had little to no impact because she had no reason to do it and it didn't indicate growth. She hugs Po because she's sorry for betraying him and doesn't want him to be killed by the Chameleon, but neither of these things are newly-established via this hug; we have already gathered by now that Zhen regrets betraying Po and doesn't want him to get hurt.

The hug is far from the movie's weakest point, but I think it's unnecessary given the context. I'm big on hugs in movies (an underutilized form of platonic affection, in my opinion), but it didn't fit here. I don't hate it, and I see it as an honest effort to bring emotionality to Po and Zhen's relationship, but it seems arbitrary.

Zhen and Po's relationship has a lot of potential and I'd be open to seeing more of them in the future, but I think some more thoughtful development needs to occur before I can humor it further. Even so, I can see myself featuring Zhen in some future post-KFP4 one-shots—sparingly, of course, because we have a lot of Furious Five content to compensate for.

Overall, they had a cute dynamic and some sweet moments but I'm not attached. I'm on board with Po having a student but I think their relationship needs a lot more development, something that this film unfortunately didn't give them time to either accomplish or earn.

Now, onto the Chameleon!

The concept of the Chameleon's character is admittedly super interesting. She's the deuteragonist's fastidious mother figure who feels that Zhen owes her a debt and as a result holds her to an impossible standard. That dynamic had the potential to be so interesting but I didn't think it was explored at all. There is no indication of Zhen having any internal conflict about fighting the Chameleon, no emotional complexity between them at all; it's disappointing because I think it would've added a bit of earnestness to the film.

Additionally, the idea of a shape-shifting villain is versatile. A shape-shifting villain gives those telling the story a lot of room to experiment with the protagonist and different ways in which the main character can be challenged and tested. It's yet another good idea utilized poorly. Just one idea: the Chameleon could have disguised herself as one (or several) of Po's family, friends, etc. and brought to fruition a new arc with his character (seeing as he arguably doesn't have one in this film), but she only disguises herself as Zhen very briefly in the movie.

Furthermore, the Chameleon completely relies on the powers of previous villains to pose any sort of threat to the main characters. She summons Po's former nemeses from the Spirit Realm (despite there being little logic in doing so considering Kai's literal evisceration) and takes their kung fu abilities for herself.

An excerpt from my first KFP4 discussion post that I think is relevant to the point I'm trying to make:

I don’t think it would be in the best interest of anyone if the past villains were to come back in any way that’s not a flashback (even then, I’m not sure I’d see the point). In all honesty, I thought that the whole point of the villains was that they died and stayed dead. They were defeated by Po once and for all as a testament to the idea of establishing Po's character growth and journey as a person through the bad things he’s able to overcome. It’d be highly contradictory to the messages of the other films if these villains were to suddenly come back.

While there was an honest effort made to portray the Chameleon as intimidating, I never felt as though any of the characters were endangered by either her or her army of lizard henchman. She's a visually appealing character (aside from her eyes, which I thought more resembled those of a gecko than a chameleon) and I greatly enjoyed Davis's performance, but overall I don't see the Chameleon as a notable villain.

The return of Tai Lung (had he been on his own) had the makings to be an excellent story, especially considering the importance of teacher-student dynamics in KFP4. To see him interacting with Shifu would have been incredible and could have led to further closure on Tai Lung's end (because I think that's kind of what the team was going for anyway), but it didn't happen.

It was nice to see Ian McShane reprise his role, but I wish Tai Lung's characterization had been more reminiscent of the way he was in the first film and more complimentary of his overall character arc. Tai Lung isn't a one-dimensional villain with a singular goal and motivation, and I couldn't help but feel as though the complexity of his character was simplified for the sake of KFP4's narrative.

Tai Lung's presence in KFP4 may be odd, but Shen and Kai's appearances are even more so. Kai, if I remember correctly, was fully obliterated by Po, reduced to literal particles on screen (which is kind of wild now that I think about it). Shen being in the Spirit Realm makes sense all things considered; however, Po and Li had no visible reaction to his presence, which seemed a bit unlikely considering Shen's deeds. This plot hole can likely be attributed to the fact that Shen and Kai's cameos (to my knowledge) were last-minute additions to the movie.

I have to talk about the pacing. I have to. I'm sorry, bear with me.

To me, the film's pacing is erratic and disconcerting. While I can appreciate a quick-moving narrative that doesn't dawdle on storylines that aren't interesting/important, KFP4 kind of flings itself too far in the opposite direction and ends up being frighteningly fast-paced. Once the credits began, I felt like I had been holding my breath for the entire movie.

KFP4 is confusing because while the runtime is standard for a KFP movie, it feels incredibly short. At the same time, the film's story moves at a breakneck speed and leaves little time for heart and development. These things culminate into a barreling boulder of a movie that simply doesn't have time to let its characters, story, or audience take a breath.

A fast pace is not inherently negative, but I don't think it worked in the favor of KFP4. The KFP franchise has always been very emotionally grounded (and just very grounded in general), so to see a film in which emotion/heart takes an aggressive backseat in comparison to action and comedy is jarring. While I think it's unreasonable for fans to expect the same emotional integrity as the original films to be present in the current and upcoming ones, I still think there's room for Po to grow and I felt as though the notion of him developing further was brushed aside in this film.

As for Po's growth, I felt it was nearly nonexistent. The previous trilogy wrapped up his character's journey beautifully and I know that KFP4 was bound to struggle with this particular aspect of making another KFP film; however, just because the strongest pillars of Po's character are established doesn't serve as a valid excuse to reverse his development and repeat what he learned in KFP3.

In KFP3, Po learned firsthand that he is capable of spreading wisdom and teaching kung fu. He also learns that he is constantly growing and that change is inevitable; there is always something more to learn.

"If you only do what you can do, you will never be more than you are now."

"I don't want to be anything more, I like who I am!"

In KFP4, Po pushes against this narrative despite fully accepting it in KFP3, actively reversing crucial parts of his character development achieved in the latter. KFP3 was non-ambiguously about learning to cope with change and responsibility, and I can't help but feel like KFP4 is simply copying this message while not adding anything to it.

Additionally, I felt that KFP4's Po generally felt less personal than he has in the past. In every KFP movie up to the franchise's most recent addition, I felt very connected to Po as an audience member. I felt like I was truly seeing the world of KFP through his eyes. I consider this to be one of the franchise's most impressive feats; it's incredibly difficult to build a universe around a character without making the audience feel limited to one perspective and one part of the world.

With KFP4, I felt both limited and disconnected. The world didn't feel as vast and all-encompassing as it has in the past and Po didn't seem fully like himself. This could be me nitpicking (as I'm prone to do), but I can't recall a single moment in the movie in which Po was alone on screen. Scenes like these are crucial for me because I see them as a meet-cute between the character and the audience, a moment for us to cross the bridge into their world in a way that's silent and intuitive. These little bonding moments are absolutely integral to feeling connected to a character.

Po's dream sequence in the first KFP movie is one of the best examples of this. It presents his aspirations, alludes to his way of life up to the point of the movie, and showcases his personality. During Po's dream sequence, the audience is quite literally inside Po's mind; we're there with him, seeing what he sees, subsequently feeling what he feels. Po is a dreamer at heart and makes the audience feel like dreamers, too.

In KFP4, I felt like I little to no point of reference when it comes to how Po was feeling. I didn't feel immersed in him and his world.

I know I've been very "doom and gloom" throughout this post, which is an exhausting mindset for everyone involved. I want to end my critique with something positive because I think some praise is deserved. Let's just say the movie could have been a lot worse, the details of which I'm sure you're all well aware.

The color palette of the movie is beautiful and somewhat reminiscent of the first film. While the animation style of KFP4 is far more simplistic than its predecessors, I was very impressed with its use of shadow and light. Po's many faces were also hysterical, props to those who helped make him as expressive as he is.

Additionally, the movie's action sequences were clearly thought out and discussed in great detail. The experimentation with camera angles was really fun to watch and I enjoyed the majority of the film's fight scenes. They were fun, bouncy, and entertaining, and quite likely reinstated audiences's love of watching a cuddly panda kick butt.

Congratulations, you've reached the end! Thank you so much to all of you who took the time to read this unnecessarily long and detailed review. As long as I help someone translate their conflicted feelings into coherent thoughts, I'll call it a win.

I want to reiterate that I don't hate Kung Fu Panda 4 and I had fun while watching the film. It has its flaws and there are a lot of aspects that I dislike, but the effort of the crew is obvious and I greatly admire and respect the hard work put into the film by those who worked on it. This does not at all excuse my issues with the movie, but it's worth saying.

As for the future of the series, I only hope that the next installment is more considerate of the franchise's origins and why Po's story is being told in the first place. I fully believe that another sequel could be good given a strong, passionate crew with a great understanding of the characters and world (and I wouldn't be averse to some previous directors returning, just to put it out there).

Thanks again to those who took the time to read this crazy excuse for a movie review. Feel free to either disagree with me or add things in the replies/reblogs, I'm always looking for more thoughts to think.

Until next time!

[thenightfolknetwork]

I never wanted to be part of the creature community. It isn't that I have anything against anyone--I was just born sapio and didn't ever feel any desire to be Turned. I was happy with my life and myself and I was more busy with my O-Levels and looking to go to uni than anything else. But that's all changed a couple of years ago when...well, I know the technical term, but "Sudden-Onset Apotheosis Syndrome" is just a fancy way of saying "Turned into a god with no discernible reason", yeah? It always makes me feel like a tool and so I try to hide it as best I can--no one wants to hear you complain about how hard it is being given divine powers and all that entails.

But I do have a problem, and I thought I might not be the only one with it, MUST not be, except I can't find anyone talking about it and so here I am? I can't talk to anyone anymore, can barely do even shopping for groceries, I feel paralyzed because all of a sudden now I have to think about a whole lot more than a "five year plan". All around me my old friends and my family, they're all...

...They're all dying. Not of anything particular--yet--but I can't so much as think of them without knowing how they're all going to die one day and I'm...not. I'm going to keep being like this for as close to "forever" that matters. It doesn't matter what I do or what they do, in just a handful of decades everyone I've ever known and loved will just be dust and I'll still look like I'm seventeen. And it isn't just people, it's everything. I thought I was used to the idea of living in a world perpetually sprinting headfirst towards climate disaster or nuclear oblivion, but NOW it's like--what, am I going to just be wandering around the blasted radiated wastelands waiting for the cockroaches to evolve wi-fi? I can't so much as plan for a lunch date tomorrow without working myself into a freezing panic about something that's not going to happen for ten thousand years--what the fuck is wrong with me?

How do any of you manage this sort of lifetime expectancy? How do you not try and Turn everyone on the street out of pure terror that they'll die and you won't? If this is how bad I feel after a few months, how much worse will it be in a year? In ten? In a million?

I'm so glad you've reached out, reader. This sounds to have been an extremely frightening, isolating experience for you, and I'm grateful you feel safe bringing that experience to my door.

The first point I want to talk to is your assertion that you are going to “keep being like this” forever. I recognise that some divine individuals do experience true eternal life, unchanged and unchanging. But they are few and far between, and it doesn't sound from your letter that the condition applies to you. Truly eternal beings do not suffer from panic attacks, for one thing.

You may not change physically, and emotional or intellectual change may be a little more difficult for you than they were before your apotheosis. But over time, I assure you, you will change. You will have new experiences and be shaped by them. And that means you can heal from this.

You ask “what the fuck is wrong” with you. Nothing is wrong with you. You are responding to a desperately frightening situation that has undermined every expectation and hope you had for how your life would play out. Give yourself a little grace, my dear.

This powerful fear response is not a personal failing or a sign of weakness. Your brain and body are trying to keep you safe, urging you to certain actions in a bid to protect you from harm.

The next time that “pure terror” hits you, try to breathe through it. Notice how it's making you want to behave, and acknowledge these impulses as a desire to protect yourself and the people around you. And then, let the suggestions go.

The action – or freezing, panicked inaction – suggested by your fear is not helpful. You can't turn the world, and you can't sit in frozen panic, waiting for the world to end. Take a breath, and ask yourself instead what you can do.

When you feel afraid of losing your friends, focus instead on expressing gratitude for the time you get to share with them. If you're afraid of the effects of climate catastrophe or political conflict, try getting involved in helpful action around these concerns. Let your love for this world and the people in it carry you forwards, not hold you back.

There are many models of god-hood. The detached, eternal observer is only one model of divinity, and not one you have to accept for yourself. Embrace instead your own immanence. You are here in the world. You can connect. You can change. You can make a difference.

We cannot possibly know what the future will hold, for ourselves or anyone else. Perhaps the world will end in fire and fury. Perhaps there will be exciting cockroach internet in our future. And perhaps life will carry on much as it always had, but in shinier outfits and with more spaceships. Who knows. What I do know is that nothing can be gained from worrying about that now.

You do not have to have a ten thousand year plan, dear reader. You do not need to have a ten year plan. It might be helpful to have a plan for the coming week, if only so you can make sure you take enough time to do the weekly shop and catch up with some friends.

Beyond that, remember: you are here with us, experiencing linear time just like everyone else. So please, try to take it as anyone else must – one day at a time.

[For more creaturely advice, check out Monstrous Agonies on your podcast platform of choice, or visit monstrousproductions.org for more info]

[dance-to-mythoughts-blog]

HERE WE GO AGAIN: BAKUGO X BLACK FEM! CHUBBY READER

Alright, children. Since it was voted on here you go. Y'all love our spicy Pomeranian man huh? lol.

Warnings: dick in pussy, praise, degrading, facials, squirting, nut swallowing, doggystyle, nipple play, fingering under the table.

ALL CHARACTERS ARE AGED UP TO ADULTS.

It was Friday and you were sitting in your apartment. It was peaceful until your roommate, Mina, came home from class.

“Hey Y/N! What are you doing later tonight?” she asked.

“Nothing that I know of hoe, why? Wassup?”

“Well, the boys invited us to go to this party tonight. I didn’t wanna go by myself so I wanted to know if you were down?” She looked at you as if you couldn’t deny her.

“The boys? What boys invited you, sis? And by boys you mean your boyfriend Kiri?”

She looked shocked “He is not my boyfriend… yet. Anyway, hoe, he said they guys are having some kind of dinner party that turns into a party tonight. Figured we could go shopping.”

“Hmmmm… I don’t know. Who all gone be there out of this little circle?”

“Everybody. And that includes explosion boy.”

You can not stand that motherfucker. Since you guys were kids, he was always a thorn in your ass. An itch that just couldn’t be scratched. You and the Bakugo Katsuki had been going at it for years. It came to a point when everyone thought you had feelings for one another and y'all were playing. You both were very competitive. You both took game night to a whole other level.

“Mina...” you said in a warning tone “Why do I wanna go somewhere with that nigga? All he’s going to do is fucking cry and whine and complain about EVERY. FUCKING. THING. You wanna hear him complain for hours about how the chicken didn’t have any seasonings?”

She looked at you because she knew you were right. The friend circle that you guys had, y’all were very close. You guys knew each other like the back of your hand. But it was always funny because everyone knew each other’s buttons. So, from time to time, you guys would push these buttons and get a kick out of shit. So, you thought long and hard about going to this event. You missed your friends, except that blonde-haired loud bastard, and wanted to see them.

“You know what Mina? Fuck it. I’ll go. Let’s go shopping. It’s only 8:30 AM. So, I have plenty of time to get an outfit and do hair, nails, and makeup. What time is the event?”

“Dinner is at 7:30 PM and the party starts at 8:30 PM. But knowing the boys, it probably starts at 9 lol.”

“Fine. Get your shit and let’s go! We’re so taking your car today Mina” Y/N said.

“Why? We always take your car. Since it’s better than mine.”

“Indeed, it is. But you convinced me to go to this shit at the last minute and then you want me to drive us shopping? And I’m assuming you want me to do your nails too? Correct?”

She looked at you with a knowing smirk. “Exactly. The least you can do here is drive us around. We gotta hit our favorite store! They have all the good shit.”

“You know it!” she sang as she grabbed her keys and headed out the door.

______________________________________________________________

We pulled up at the mall. Surprisingly it was not packed at all. You both hit several stores. The final store that you guys went to was where you found the dress of your dreams. It was a beautiful yellow dress that you bought instantly. You bought a pair of clear heels to go along with it.

“Mina. LOOK!” She turned around and was blinded by the beauty of the yellow dress. Just holding this yellow dress up to your skin complimented you beautifully. You knew you were turning heads at this event and Mina did too.

“Whew. Girl this dress is going to get your eggs scrambled and you broke in half.” She laughed.

You laughed right along with her because you knew it was true. It has been a minute since you had some dick, and you could use a man’s touch. Wouldn’t hurt at all.  “You’re right. I will surely be eaten because I will be looking super good.”

As you guys put your bags in the trunk, Mina’s phone rang. She answered and of course, it was the guys calling to make sure we were still coming. Pretty sure this bitch told them I was coming even tho she didn’t ask me shit. She turned the car on and hooked her phone to CarPlay. Their loud voices blasted through the speakers.

“Are you guys coming or what? We got security and everything and this is gonna be a good time. Did you tell Y/N? Is she gonna come outside today?” Kirishima asked with a hint of sarcasm in his voice.

“Hey!! Fuck you, Kiri! I don’t abandon you asshole like Sero says.”

“Yes, you do!” Denki says in the background loud enough for you to hear. “Oi..tell her to shut up.” Bakugo says. As soon as you hear his voice you immediately start going off on him. Why not? It’s Bakugo. Fuck him and his sensitive ass.

“Is this Sero or Denki I’m talking to now?”

“Denki. Don’t mind Kacchan, he’s being an asshole. You know his usual self.”

“OI!! Shut it Pikachu. Before you get blasted to hell.”

Mina was so amazed. She is used to the shenanigans by now so she doesn’t give a fuck. She made that clear after the last game night we had.

______________________________________________________________

Flashback

You guys are sitting in the boys’ shared apartment. This time, in particular, Bakugo was streaming on Twitch. Out of you, Mina, Kiri, Sero, and Denki, Bakugo has the largest amount of followers on Twitch. During the game nights, one person streams while the others are in the party. That’s how that works. When one of you streams, you guys decide who is joining the party for the streaming broadcast. This game night in particular, again, Bakugo was streaming Call Of Duty. He was pretty good at it but not better than you. You streamed too but not as frequently as the others. Bakugo was the party leader, you, Sero, and Kiri joined his party for game night. You guys got Hella dubs(wins). Bakugo was jealous because you got more kills than he did. So that started an argument. You both were very competitive.

“OI. You stole my kill.” Bakugo cried.

“You were playing with your food. And I didn’t steal it. They gave it to you. That was a kill confirmed. You’re welcome assface.”

“Fuck you”

“You wish you could fuck somebody’s daughter. If you could fuck properly maybe you’d still be getting laid” you smirked. Knowing that that would push his fucking buttons. You had heard through the grapevine that he couldn’t satisfy his women. Since all he wanted to do was hook up. That shut his ass up from talking shit to you for the rest of the match for about 5 mins before it started up again. That shit went on for the rest of game night.

______________________________________________________________

“Dammit Mina. LOL. This nigga thinks I care about him telling me to shut up. Aww. My feelings are hurt. NOT.” You said sarcastically. Everyone took a deep sigh.  “Not this shit again. Can y’all chill the fuck out? Please” Sero asked. By the tone of his voice, he was begging you guys not to do that ghetto ass shit again.

“Fine.” You said defeated. “ I will see y’all tonight. But I’m gonna stop talking and let Mina take back over.” With that, you put your air pods in and listened to the music on your phone. By the time Mina was done with her conversation, you were annoyed that you even agreed to this shit to begin with and the fact that Bakugo just pissed you off. But you decided to get petty. You were gone show up to this event looking good as fuck because he called you ugly a while back.

____________________________________________________

When you and Mina got back home, it was around 3:30. You guys immediately went ahead and did your hair and nails. Mina decided on a bone-straight look. You decided that you wanted to do slight curls. You curled your hair, pinned the curls so they would set, and got started on your nails. You’ve already done your feet. You decided to do some Gel-X nails. You settled on an XS (extra short) white French tip to match your white toes. It did not take you long to do your nails. The time became later and later, and it was getting close to when you and Mina needed to get dressed. You took a shower and used some Jasmine-scented body wash. After you get out of the shower, you use your Jasmine-scented body oil, which you put on directly after your shower. Your dress was low cut, so you opted not to wear a bra for the event. You wanted everyone to see these beautiful brown titties of yours. You did your make-up. You opted for the 90s look and something a little more modern as well. With yellow eyeshadow that complemented your smooth silky skin beautifully, natural lash extensions, smelling like you came out of heaven, wearing a beautiful yellow dress that no one wouldn’t be able to resist you in. This dress was bright yellow. So bright that it put the sun to shame with how bright it was. The dress was form-fitting and it hugged you in all the right places. You and Mina finished getting ready around the same time. So, you went to her room to see if she was almost finished.

“Bitch. Are you almost done? Are we driving or are the boys supposed to come and get us?” you asked.

“They said they would. But seems like they might just send Bakugo to come get us.” She took a double take at how damn good you looked. “Fuck you look good girl! Look like a fucking goddess. Yellow dress suits you very well.”

“Why thank you! I love being praised sis” you laughed out loud. Mina was a bad bitch too. That’s why that man Kiri wanted her. We all knew it. “Good shit sis! You look damn good yourself. Ass poking, titties sitting right, smelling good. Kiri Is gonna have to fight to keep these dudes off you sis. Maybe you can get some dick from him since you’ve wanted it for so long.”  Y/N said. Mina looked at you confused.

“What do you mean I want Kiri?”

“Girl, we know you have been feeling for that man so bad. From the looks of it, man got a thing for you too.” Y/N smirked at her.

“So, Bakugo is coming to get us? Is that official or is it just something that was already decided, and no one told me?”

“Yes, Bakugo is our personal chauffeur. We better get our stuff because he will pull up any minute. You know this man is always punctual. Sure enough, here comes this blonde-haired nigga knocking on the door super aggressive. You open the door.

“Cocksucker! Stop banging on the door like you are a psycho.” You slightly yelled.

“Ahh put a sock in it… such a fucking B-“he started but was shook by your beauty. Lord. You looked so damn good. So good that the Bakugo Katsuki couldn’t stop staring at you.

“Like something you see pervert?” you asked smirking at him.

“Nothing at all. Brat. Get your shit and let's go. Come on Raccoon eyes. Move it!”

“don’t call her raccoon eyes you mutt.”

“I will call her what I want. Cunt”

“Ahhh. That’s the problem. You can't get any pussy, so you argue with women, Typical small-dick behavior. Hurry up and drive us to this thing”!

As soon as Bakugo was about to say something smart, here comes Mina.

“Always fucking arguing. Y’all are fucking annoying. Jesus. Let’s go”

____________________________________________________________

You guys arrive at the restaurant.

“Damn Y/N. you look good as fuck.” Denki told you. And you got approval from all the rest of the guys too. “Mina. You look good as fuck too. Good enough to eat.” Kirishima stated as he was looking Mina up and down.

“Get a fucking room,” Bakugo said with his usual scowl on his face.

“Maybe if you weren’t such a prick, somebody would take yo bitch ass to a room.” You said that completely pissed him off. And you didn’t give one fuck about him being upset. The rest of the friend circle laughed.

“she’s right Bakubro. When was the last time you had some pussy? Cami? Tonya?” Sero asked. Bakugo looked so fucking annoying that he was getting roasted. Damn. He knew it had been a minute and he was sick of your shit.

“You are such a pain in the ass Y/N. You know that? Just goofy as fuck” Bakugo yelled at you. You started to look at him differently because he looked good.

“Fuck You Katsuki. Such a damn crybaby. You have always been a thorn in my side. Always complain. Being a weird bitch.” You spoke. That pushed him over the limit. He decided that he has enough of your shit. As soon as he was about to say something, the waitress greeted everyone, and it was time for everyone to go to the table. As usual, you just got into it with Bakugo and now you have to sit next to him. Mina sat next to Kirishima, Denki, Sero, you, and Bakugo at the end. As the waitress came around and you guys ordered your food, Bakugo decided to be bold and lean over and whisper in your ear.

“You are such a fucking brat. I hate you so much. I mean that shit. Such a fucking thorn in my ass. But I can't lie. You look good as fuck In this dress. What were you thinkin? Oi… I’ll make him jealous? To piss him off? Well, you got it. I’m fucking pissed.  Especially since you said I couldn’t get no pussy.” Bakugo said. He had never spoken to you in this manner, and it had you all hot and bothered. In a good way. You turned to look at him and he was dead ass serious. He looked good and smelt good too. He had a nice jawline, beautiful red eyes, eyebrow piercing, and an undercut that you could see. He smelt like musk and burnt sugar and it smelled so fucking good. Intoxicating if you will.

“Man fuck you. Still a crybaby. You like to be an ass. So, fuck you. Someone’s daughter is staring at you, and it isn’t me”

Bakugo took that as a challenge. Shortly after that, your drinks came and the waitress was going around to take orders. She started with Mina since Mina was sitting at the end. You felt Bakugo’s hand on your knee. But you ignored him. He then slowly decided to massage your knee and slide up to your leg. He inched slower and slower into your panties. He leaned over and whispered in your ear.

“Such a fucking slut. You not even wearing panties. You look good. Let us see if you feel good too.”

Bakugo slides his hand up your dress and started to rub slow circles on your clit. It felt so fucking good but you were still in public and at the dinner table with everyone. Thankfully, no one was paying attention because everyone decided that they were doing their own thing.

“You…are such a fucking cunt. Lord” you whisper yelled. But you couldn’t deny that he had you feeling so fucking good. You couldn’t believe that Bakugo was making you feel good as fuck like this. Like this nigga knows what the fuck he is doing. “But you feel sooo good Katsuki. I mean shit that feels good. Gonna cum if you keep it up.” You moaned but kept it to a whisper that only the both of you could hear. The waitress came back with the drink and started to take food orders. As the waitress was starting to take orders and come around the table, Bakugo decided it would be amazing and he would stick his finger in your pussy. In and out his one finger went and it was so good.

“Fuck you tight as fuck. So wet fa me. We’re in public baby and I hadn't even touched you yet. Fucking needy. Be good and tell her your order because she’s coming.”

And sure enough. She got to you and it was a struggle to talk because it felt good.

“I’ll take the jerk chick with rice and peas, and double cabbage. Thanks” You said in one breath. She understood but everyone at the table was confused and wondered what was up.

“You ok Y/N?” Sero asked.

“Yeah. I’m ok.” Bakugo kept fingering you under the table and then you eventually came. Soon as he finished fingering you, the food came and he decided to lick his one finger that was all cozy in your cunt.

__________________________________________________

The dinner party was over and you and Bakugo had ended up riding together because everyone wanted to go their separate ways. As you and Bakugo entered your apartment, Bakugo’s lips were on yours. His kiss was soft and needy. He hugged you and kissed you in all the right places. His kiss became needier and needier, and he grabbed your ass to the point where your cheeks spread open and gave it a nice smack. Who would’ve thought that you would be getting ready to fuck Bakugo? Not Me.

“Katsuki, take this shit off please” you practically begged him. You were so horn that it fucking hurt. He started to undress you and you could not take it anymore. You got down on your knees, pulled his boxers down and his dick sprang out. It was long, thick, and had a pretty little vein that was at the top and his tip, swollen and leaking with precum waiting to be milked.

“Fuck!” you said as you immediately went to heart eyes. You grabbed his dick and shoved it in your mouth going antagonizing slow. You bobbed your head up and down showing major love to the tip. That’s where you focus all of your energy. “Fuck, princess. That feels good” he said as you slurped him up like a slushie. You knew he was getting close because of the way that he was cussing and grinding.

“Fuck Y/N. Imma cum…..Shit” Bakugo groaned and shortly after he nutted in your mouth. You were so happy that you had him nut in your mouth that you decided to swallow. After you swallowed, you went back and sucked the dick some more until he couldn’t take this shit anymore.

“Fuck. I'm gonna ruin you. Fine chocolate ass. Wearing this tight-ass dress for me and only me. Fuck. Bend over this couch now.” He demanded. It was so sexy to see him take charge that it made your pussy even wetter than before. You bent over as he said.

“Fuck.. so wet f’me. Thought u were wet at the restaurant. This is like I put my hand in the water. AMAZING” Bakugo moaned just at touching this pussy. He didn’t even have time to prep you for the dick. He inserted himself and he was slowly inching in. As soon as he was fully in to bottom out, he started to ram into you.

“Fuck kkkaaattsuki…yes that feels so good baby. Keep it going “you moaned at the feeling of his dick plaster away into your pussy.

“you like that? You like when daddy fucks you like a good little slut?”

Fuck yess. I-uh fuck”

“Yeah. You’re doing such a good job f’me. Take this dick baby” he groaned.

“Katsuki.. I’m coming” you screamed. “Fuck yes Daddy it feels so good.”

“Where u want that nut baby?” he asked as he sped up his pace to go insanely jak rabbit.

“I want it on my face baby” you moaned. “Fuck Katsuki, cum on my face day”

“Such a nasty filthy slut for daddy. I'm bout to come on that beautiful face of your brat” He praised. He pulled out and nutted all over your face.

Katsuki looked at you and decided that you were going to be his woman forever and a day. After all, you both knew each other like the back of your hands, and he’d seen you covered all in his nut. What else could you ask for from a spouse?

“I love you. Would you be my girlfriend” he asked. This was the first time you had ever seen him in a soft era.

“Yes” as you went to cuddle next to him and give him a soft kiss on the nose. “ I will be your girlfriend”

Alright guys!/ I hope you liked it. This is what was voted on the last 2 polls so I hope I delivered. Please like and reblog! I think I might do a tag list. comments and let me know if you want to do a tag list.

[acknowledgetheabsurd]

My darling, I am very tired to be able to speak to you again with clarity. Since yesterday morning I have the impression of no longer living in time. These days are excruciating and the horror of these hours spent waiting for the funeral that will return me back to a loneliness that I will try to get rid of is indescribable. Never has the public life that my father led and my own life weighed me down so much. The telephone rings without giving me a minute's respite. The door keeps opening in front of people whose names I don't even know. The letters and telegrams pour in, and I literally have to resort to lying, to cunning and from time to time to anger, to follow my father's wishes and prevent people from coming to the funeral. 

Fortunately Pitou is there to deal with all the blows and to face everyone. Dom Juan has been a wonderful big brother to me and for me to say that, you really have to have earned it. As for Feli, I will never forget the time she spent with me. Apart from them and Andión* who never left my side for a second - which, by the way, exhausted me, more than anything else - I only saw two of my father's friends for a moment, Pierre Reynal and Pommier who came to embrace me. Angeles and Juan, always extraordinarily faithful. As you can see, I have nothing to complain about. I am surrounded by true strength and warm friendship. I need it, because, alone, I don't know if I would have the strength to stay calm and not scream my disgust at those who, after helping to kill my father into oblivion, the exile of the heart and the misery of the worst moral and physical suffering now want to set him up as a hero. 

The telegrams, the phone calls, the cards, the visits accumulate, and little by little, as revolt and grief give way to fatigue, I am left with a terrible nausea that does not leave me. My day is full of struggles and disgust of this order for the moment. In efforts to remain standing. In joys of gratitude too. As for the irretrievable loss of Dad, I confess that I have not yet fully realized it, except in very fleeting moments. Then the dizziness is such that I refuse to stop myself there. From time to time, I even get a giggle out of it. I am not the only one. Those who knew my father well, react like me. Feli and Pitou, for example. Perhaps it will seem abominable to you, but he had accustomed us to laugh at certain things, to find certain customs grotesque and ridiculous, and this in such a way that now when they unfold around him, they take on the look that he had wanted to give them. 

I do not want to write down details. I will tell you about it one day. But I'm telling you here, because it seems to me that this is the greatest tribute that can be paid to him. It seems to me that it is an extraordinary triumph for him to accompany me after his death in such a lively way. Me and the others, because for every detail he had planned a comment that we can't help but recall, smiling, even laughing, loving him especially, and almost yelling at him for putting it in our heads. Since yesterday morning, there has not been a minute of silence in this house and almost all the words are his words. That, without search, without effort, involuntarily. What other living memory can you ask of a man who is gone? 

He struggled to the end, desperately lucid. Towards the end, only the spirit lived. And he continues to live beyond the end. These are not meaningless words that I am saying to you. It is the expression of an astonishing and deep feeling which does not leave me, and which stuns me with beauty. But I don't know how to explain it. I have always had an unrestrained admiration for my father, although in the family, it is not customary to praise one another. Now it is a worship, and not born of myth, but of what there is in the world, except more real, hotter, and more alive. To have known him, to have loved him, to have watched him live and die, this is a beautiful treasure to keep jealously. To have been his daughter, it is and will be one of my greatest prides and marks for me an existence that must always remain worthy of him. 

Today, I don't want to stop to wonder how I will get through this existence. Just thinking about it makes me miss my heart. But my world is not deserted, you are there; but, do you know, my darling, without knowing it my love for you, it helps me a lot to love you very much. My mother. My father. The only two people in the world who belonged to me and who have possessed me entirely apart from you. Now all I have left is you, you alone. Here I am all yours. A little diminished, amputated, sore, but also gathering in me all that they have brought me, taught me, all the riches they have left me. All of this, in a jumble, a little messy, and I give it to you without reservations. I only ask you one thing: to keep you, take care of yourself, your health, your happiness, your strength, so that you can draw from it the strength to live. 

Oh my darling, watch over you, watch over us. My courage is at an end. I can't take it anymore. Look after yourself, heal yourself to join me as soon as possible and bring me new energies! Do not worry about me. What counts for the moment is your health. From near or far, you are always with me. Don't feel sorry to be away from me. It doesn't matter. You are here, under this sky, you are alive, my dear love, and I know better than ever the price of the life of someone you love. I'm crying. You see? This is the first time since yesterday morning. These are the first tears. You see? From near or far you put in me the same sweetness. I love you.

Maria Casarès to Albert Camus, Correspondance, February 18, 1950 [#200]

* Sergio Andión, Spanish exile, friend of Maria Casarès' father.

[luvtonique]

Hot Take Time

Okay, I'm gonna make a hot take. I want y'all to understand that this is coming from a 34 year old man who draws furry porn for a living and has regularly interacted with well over a thousand customers in his life, as well as partaken in various online discussions, social media platform conversations, and I've been pseudo-canceled a few times, so there you go, now we know each other, run on sentence.

I need to get something off my chest and a lot of you (I'd very safely say over 95% of social media and people in the political system and even regular media) need to get this through your heads.

Here we go, ready? Say this out loud.

"Nobody is responsible for making you feel comfortable, except yourself."

That is something that people just don't seem to understand anymore. We're in this day-and-age of people doing everything in their power to convince other people to change how they act, change what they believe, change the words they can or can't use because they are "not comfortable" and they believe it will make the world a "better place" if other people adhere to a set of guidelines that these people have deemed are necessary for the comfort of the people setting the guidelines (at the expense, of course, of the comfort of the others who are being forced to walk on eggshells).

I don't know how so few of you have a basic moral of "Life isn't fair."

It isn't. Perfection is unattainable, and yet so many of you don't fucking shut the fuck up about how everyone "needs to act" or how other people need to "be better."

Shut the goddamn fuck up, holy shit.

Nobody needs to act different so that you can be comfortable, just fucking grow a spine, holy shit. I don't care WHAT they're doing. I don't care if they're transphobic, racist, sexist, misogynistic, LGBT activists, Trump supporters, Biden supporters, I literally do not give the slightest iota of a fuck. Do they make me uncomfortable? Of course they do. That's why I don't interact with them. For my own comfort I just don't. I do what makes me comfy, I eat pizza, I drink hot cocoa, I take a fucking nap, I take some painkillers for my joint pain, I do a weed gummy, I listen to music, I watch a movie, I sit outside and watch rain fall, I FUCKING RELAX.

I have rheumatoid arthritis and am in excruciating pain 24/7/365 and there is nothing I will ever be able to do about that. Do I complain about it? Sure I do. Do I appreciate it when people carry heavy things for me so I don't have to? Sure I do.

But do I stand there next to a heavy box waiting for someone else to pick it up and then go "EXCUSE ME. I HAVE ARTHRITIS. YOU SHOULD PICK THE BOX UP FOR ME. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO TELL YOU TO PICK THE BOX UP" because I'm of some fucking delusion that everyone on earth has to cater to my disability?

FUCKING. NO.

You know why? Because I, unlike a fucking huge percentage of you all, understand that it is not everyone else's responsibility to cater to me and improve my level of comfort.

Especially if they're not getting paid to do that. If I were paying them, sure, that'd be fine. That's what maids are for, right? But they're not getting paid, and that's where it becomes a very bad thing.

Slavery.

But apparently y'all don't seem to understand that making people do special services or cater their behavior to you without any payment other than "not getting punished, canceled, attacked physically or screamed at" is literally textbook definition slavery. It is quite literally "Do this thing because I demanded it, and if you don't do it or if you do it in an unsatisfactory way, I will whip you."

Let's look at a hypothetical I made up myself.

Say there's a kid in school who, if they hear their name said out loud, attacks and bites the people who said that. There's been 15 incidents in a row, including two teachers being bit by this kid.

What's the solution?

Solution 1) Pull the kid out of school, contact their parents, suggest maybe therapy or putting them in special classes with a guardian of some sort, keep an eye on them, maybe they need to be medicated.

Solution 2) Tell the entire population of the school to stop saying the kid's name out loud and punish any kids who get bit because they broke the rule of catering to this psycho fucking bully.

How in the fuck do so many of you think Solution 2 is the correct solution? How the fuck do you think forcing 8 billion people to adhere to your specific demands via mass manipulation and forced control without any compensation other than "I won't bite you" is the correct course of action?

I have met people that literally their opening sentence is telling me how to talk to them and what things not to talk about around them, and when I asked "Why can't I talk about <completely mundane thing>" they literally had a fucking mental breakdown and got me banned from the Discord server I was in that they contacted me from.

And so many of you, SO MANY OF YOU will act like that's completely reasonable for them to have done and will say I AM THE BAD GUY for "DELIBERATELY ATTACKING THEM WHEN THEY ASKED ME NOT TO."

Holy fucking shit.

If you are so fucking bad off, so unhinged, that you have complete full fledged mental breakdowns over hearing a fucking word or because you scrolled past a text post you disagreed with or because someone voted for a politician you don't like, I'm sorry to say this but you desperately need to get your fucking head checked because that is NOT. FUCKING. NORMAL. BEHAVIOR.

"But Jay, being 'normal' is a social construct that-" SHUT UP.

Care for your own self, improve your own comfort and be happy with "Good enough" like the rest of the fucking world has been learning to do for fucking years, you actual fucking sociopathic manipulative shitfucks.

Thank you for reading.

~Jay (who has been labeled a transphobe for breaking up with a trans girlfriend after 9 years of her lying to him, manipulating him, forcing him to become trans out of emotional abuse, forcing him to attack his own mother, forcing him to pay for her HRT for multiple years and forcing him to be in a poly relationship while not letting him meet the other girlfriends she was fucking regularly while never meeting him IRL a single time. Yeah guess I shoulda stayed with her, I'm the bad guy for not continuing to let her abuse me because her abusing me was "making her more comfortable in the relationship." Listen. I hate to break this to you. But if you act like this, or defend these people, you are a fucking psychopath and I no longer give a shit what you think about me. You are a bad person.)

PS: I usually get people asking, when I make posts like this, "Jay, did something happen?" because y'all assume every time I wanna make a post like this, I just got out of a fight with someone and needed to vent. The truth this time is that this has been boiling up for the last 12 years I've been here on Tumblr, seeing more and more and more of this fucking manipulative sociopath behavior becoming more and more commonplace and accepted and more and more people are scared to speak out against it because if just one of you fucking psychos can damage our reputation and get us fired from our workspace, imagine what thousands of you could do. Well, I'm done catering to y'all. If you are my friend, I will gladly act a certain way around you to make you comfy because I always strive to make my friends, family members, ect. as comfortable as possible.

But if I haven't met you and I'm expected to cater to your comfort zone's rules before even saying hi to you? I'm just noping the fuck out of there because you are a sick, twisted pervert with a fucking power fetish who is blind to how much of a manipulative shitwad you are.

PPS: I know, the assumption here is "Jay's gonna start saying the gamer word to poke the beehive now! He's looking for a fight!"

No, I literally am not. Why would I? I'm trying to live and be comfortable why the shit would I go out of my way to rile the psychos up? I'm gonna just hang out with my friends and family and fans who love me and continue being a respectful person towards people who are respectful in return, rather than go out of my way to find horrible scumbag people and attack them deliberately because I wanna start a fight or some shit. Why would I wanna be in a fight? Why would I wanna deliberately troll or rile people up? That makes me feel bad. I was yelled at and beat by my father for 25 years why would I go try to get myself yelled at more? So take off the tinfoil hat, stop assuming I'm announcing I'm gonna be more openly disrespectful on purpose. I'm a respectful person, I don't attack people, I don't troll people, I don't do anything to deliberately harm anyone.

So I ask you very politely.

If anything you read here today has tarnished your opinion of me?

Please just block me and move on, holy shit. Do the right thing, make yourself more comfortable, stop interacting. Don't waste your time trying to "get through to me" just leave, it's not worth either of our time. Do that with everyone you strongly disagree with. If someone offends you so much you're shitting blood just block them. Why the fuck y'all gotta keep putting your heads in sharks' mouths and then complaining they keep bitin' you.

[ribbonsflyingoutthewindow]

Bucky Barnes Bingo party prompt fill: **The End**

TW: vampires (so death and blood)

And I kind of imaged this as the late 70s or early 80s, but that’s not important.

The news has started to report that we drop bodies all around town. We don’t drop bodies. We place them down gently. We aren’t animals.

I suppose one could argue that we are monsters.

The attention is enough that James and I pack up and move several hours away. The end to this portion of our lives came quickly. We don’t even bother buying places of our own anymore. Fifty years ago, we would have bought a place and stayed a few years. Now, a few months is all we manage. Security is getting more sophisticated. In a few decades, we will have to disguise ourselves in public. Already every college student thinks they are a reporter-a camera in everyone’s hand. We jump from one location to another just trying to keep from being noticed.

James doesn’t say anything which is remarkable considering he complains about everything. I think it’s fear. He hasn’t shown fear in so long he probably hasn’t placed it yet, but there is a fear to being found out and then becoming obsolete.

“We could go back to Indiana,” he offers and I don’t respond. He lived several decades there. He doesn’t need to go back so soon.

“We could try further north,” I say after a while. I remember the Victorian mansion we had there years ago. We hadn’t been together long then, maybe twenty or thirty years. The place was lavish, the money was unending, the love was passionate, and we both hated having to leave. But nothing lasts forever except for us.

We stop for a drink long before we have to stop for a room. We make sure to park far away and walk a few miles to find our target. Someone near the river this time. And we share the meal so we can get back on the road quickly. We leave the body in the river with several puncture wounds. The fish will help make the cause of death undetermined and the water will make it so the lack of blood is not so unusual. Insurance is a big deal these days and we don’t want to deprive anyone of any payouts.

“I love you, you know?” I say when we are back on the road. I haven’t said it in a while even though James says it all the time. He doesn’t say it in those exact words. It’s more in the way he wants to make sure I have my seatbelt on before we are back on the road despite knowing our invulnerabilities. It’s in the way he pulls me close and dances slowly with me across the carpet of the home we find to sleep in for the night. It seems like someone’s hunting lodge. They won’t be back till hunting season comes around again so we stay for a few days. There’s nothing decadent like the large bed we used to share in the mansion a century back, but there are thick curtains and we can sleep undisturbed. We don’t bother to bring the coffins out when we know we won’t be somewhere long.

James tells me he loves me when we awake with the soft kisses on pale skin and the way he makes sure to run his fingers through my hair and whisper to me in my native language little bits of inside jokes and song lyrics.

He covers me with the blankets and tells me to stay warm. It’s been our code for years. The words seem to say to take care of yourself, but we both know the rest of the thought is “because I love you.”

He leaves the bed and a few minutes later, I smell coffee and hear him making pancakes so I gather myself and pad down the hallway to the living room. The sun has just set and the dusk is settling outside as he works away in the kitchen. I go and curl up on the sofa in the next room. The pillows are velvet. It’s the closest I have felt to our old home in ages.

If there’s anyone around here, we could make an easy meal of them, but for now, James is being self-indulgent. Pancakes won’t sustain him, but they’ll keep his spirits up so I am glad that he found the ingredients. The coffee too. I may have some myself. We’ll go hunting for real food later.

When he’s finished, he brings some candles into the living room and lights them before bringing me coffee and settling in beside me with his plate of pancakes. When he finishes, he’ll dip his fingers in the maple syrup on the plate. He licks syrup from his fingertips the same way he licks blood- savoring every last drop.

I curl in next to him and he puts the plate aside and pulls me closer. His lips meet mine and I taste the over sweetness of maple syrup still on his tongue. The contrast of it to the warm and bitter blood we usually drink is interesting.

I’ve watched James drink from someone’s dying body more times than I can remember. We kill easily. It’s not that we are crazed and bloodthirsty demons from the movies and storybooks, but we don’t shy away from killing either. It’s how we survive the same way most humans don’t lose sleep over eating a chicken or fish. It’s been hundreds of years since I stayed awake all day feeling guilt for someone I’ve drank.

I met James while hunting. It was a century and a half ago now, but the memory is clear. By some curse we had both been hunting the same unfortunate cartwright. It isn’t often that hunting the same target doesn’t lend itself to threats and rivalries, but as James entered the stable that evening, he nodded for me to join him. Following him was one of the best decisions I ever made.

I silenced the cartwright’s vocals and then James broke the man’s spine. No words passed between us as we placed him down in the hay and fed from his wrists. A few glances between us as we shared that first meal together told us we had found something special.

He wore a black suit and cape, traditional, but it also blended well with the other men outside in busy St. Petersburg. I tried not to look at him too much while we drank, but when I glanced at him, he was always glancing back.

I watched him place the body afterwards, respectfully propped against a wall. I was intrigued. The sire I had learned from left bodies where they fell. This man left them with their dignity. I imagined he was from the nest in Moscow. I’d not been further myself, but I didn’t recognize him from this city. Then he opened his mouth and his accent was faint, but apparent.

“James Barnes,” he told me as I walked beside him from the stable.

“Natalia Romanova.”

He was about to bid me goodnight. I could tell his intentions were admirable despite his attraction to me. Again, respectful.

I couldn’t have that. I reached and pulled him closer, and pulled his lips to mine. It was daring for someone I barely knew the name of, but he returned the kiss with hands on both sides of my face.

“Going anywhere exciting next?” I asked as I pulled away.

A devious grin spread across his face and we have been together ever since. He taught me so much more than I used to know. I can capture and kill so much quicker and neater than before. Meals aren’t a messy and grisly affair. We can have romantic dinners barely spilling a drop. We’ve learned so many languages together and amassed collections of books and artwork over the years. An appreciation for art comes from his sire. An appreciation for weapons comes from mine so we have quite a collection of those too.

Outside the windows of the hunting lodge, the night sprawls out away from us, and James kisses me more passionately. We never know what the future holds, but we keep holding each other. I let my lips trail down his jaw and he lets his hands slip under my shirt. Comfortable, familiar, desirable.

It doesn’t matter where we end up from here. A big city or a small down. Another American town or the other side of the world. With vampires, every ending is a new beginning. His fingers slip between mine and his fangs nip gently at my skin. I close my eyes. We have been together this long, the darkness shared between us immeasurable. We will continue on exactly this way. Wherever James is, that’s my home.

—⍟-⍟-⍟—

Bucky Barnes Bingo- B5: First Kiss

Any Fandom Dark Bingo- I3: Serial Killer AU

Black Widow Bingo- B4: Isolation/Loneliness

@buckybarnesbingo

[fluffypotatey]

Okay I know I keep calling Macky all smol and cute and shy and he lowkey gives off those vibes, but his actual stated issue was not having the confidence to put his foot down and state his opinions in a way that everyone would listen. He never raised his voice and just was that person surrounded by so many people, yet still alone and cut off from the group, just following along with the one who was more extroverted and captured everybody's attention. Anyways, this is all to say that for so long we kept thinking Macky always runs, I mean everybody says it. Even Peng. Present day Macky uses his shadows to intimidate, but apparently he wasn't using his shadow form to scare people back then. I find myself wondering if the reason he talked to MK about making your own decisions...it doesn't quite cleanly match up with the War on Heaven. Like, if he was like "yeah I don't like this. Y'all have fun tho." That doesn't erase the consequences, and the issue was speaking up. I get it means "stop always following Wukong wherever he goes" but that ALSO doesn't erase other *hypothetical issues* on how the Brotherhood and Wukong would react. (Something I'm still concerned about bc how DID they react when he ditched them? That scene Tang sees with Azure had a dark, oppressive aura. Between that and Macky's opposition over Camel Ridge, Peng implying he knows how to sniff Macky down. I am concern.)

Maybe if he said he was backing out, Wukong would've been surprised enough to listen, but insistent, and if they kept going, and Macky really stood his ground, he may even have doubts. But then Azure and Co. could just as well reel him back in and create a nice juicy conflict of loyalties, but point is. What if it wasn't Macky's decision to run? Azure was treating Wukong like a warrior fallen in battle, a leader fallen in battle, in a way that was shattering the pedestal he was placed on. Was it really Macky's call to run? Or someone else who made the decision for him.

Cowardly maybe, but he always came back. He's always been loyal. Is the person he was in the past the kind to make ruthless choices like some army generalfleeing for the greater good, cutting their losses to try again? I mean honestly, leaving Wukong? What he's GREAT at is never telling Wukong the real story. Never defending himself when people accuse him of anything. Even now he doesn't answer to the "what about you- you just come back?"It would not surprise me if the answer to "cause normally you just rush to my rescue" wasn't just a matter of falling into the trap of thinking Wukong was too strong to need help, he never put up an image of that, wanting to be the strongest, but also a matter of "I'm sorry I couldn't, I was ordered to retreat." The Warrior always listens to the most commanding presence in the room. Never making his own choices. Thinking of Option A and Option B, never seeing he could have an Option C. And it's all deliciously wrapped up in the horrors of how, sincerely, getting punished alongside Wukong, he would not survive the furnace, (if kept in LMK) how this time, while Wukong's jab was right, it had an unfortunate extra layer of an additional factor between the two bread slices of Macky's communication issues.And the tasty angst of "everytime Macky chooses to rescue Wukong, it's to make up for what he couldn't do before even if he complains." "...there was nothing that could stop the two of them. Not on Earth or the Celestial Realm..." Except for the Jade Emperor. I need to know his thoughts behind this still. We know he cares enough to do stupid things for Wukong, now. And enough to leave the Brotherhood because he still had faith in him despite their fight. Still loved him, despite the "I never want to see you here again!" Question is, that enough for, in that singular moment where retreat seems to be the only option less they fall too, to ask. "What? We can't leave Wukong! You're the ones to came to our mountain to ask him to be your king! Everything he did was for you!" <-- evil parallel dialogue ^_^ <- also guy who doesn't realize Wukong meant it when he said "us" it did include him, and it wasn't just to get strong for the heck of it. <-- pairs nicely with guy who doesn't realize his friend thought he was already enough. "It doesn't always have to be you, he needs to know it's not all on him-" Wow, that history sure do be repeating.

i personally hop between the “the Brotherhood fled the second Wukong had his back to the wall and deemed him a failed weapon, but Wukong only saw Mac leave” and “Mac, already not on board with the plan, left the moment he was surrounded by celestial troops he could not overpower”

and both still fit with Macky’s whole “i never gave myself a chance to really choose my path and stand my ground, believing there was an inevitable one i was meant to follow”

he is a fun character to study because a lot of his actions s1-3 is him still upset that his path isn’t up to him. and then we get to s4, Macky finds his previous belief shaken and thrown out the window no thanks to MK, and he finally realizes that he never needed to follow the predestined path. all the choices and lines carved for him that he felt he could not escape in the past, were ones he did not need to abide by despite how much it felt like he should. he saw, first hand, MK shatter LBD’s well-ironed destiny because he refused to be beaten into submission into choices he did not like

and he is able to help work MK through that as well (in future seasons) and drag him out of his learned helplessness. also, how his teachings with MK complement Wukong’s??? how we see the same message repeated by Wukong in 5x03 but in a slightly different way. this just proves to me that shadowpeach mentorship is real and where both monkeys will fall, teaching MK from their learned mistakes and strengthening hi resolve

[ssreeder]

oh my god. oh my goodness fucking gracious me.

so I just have to tell you that I found your fic this morning and I fucking SPEEDED through that shit (even though it was SO long--IM NOT COMPLAINING I LOVE LONG FICS) but oh my god. oh my god

you're so talented??? first of all, like I'm on my knees wondering where all this came from. like you came up with this?? it was in your head?? and you wrote it by yourself? oh my god reSPECT

also it's so beautifully written‼️‼️ I went back and looked at the character development and the everything because good lord it was so well paced. like I was on the edge of my bed seat during every single chapter. good lord

zukka + all of ATLA is my current hyperfixation and your fic has soothed me so completely

jesus christ on a cracker do you understand how talented you are?? do you *grabs you aggressively by the shoulders and stares deeply into your eyes* DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW INCREDIBLE AND SKILLFUL AND GORGEOUS THIS IS??? PLEASE

okay but in all seriousness, here are some of my favorite lines(mostly from the last chapter because jesus fuck I do nOT have time to scroll back through everything your wrote):

"And here he was, all these years later… not used to it. He knew he would never get used to the blood curdling scream a person made when the fire stripped their body clean and their bones were reduced to nothing but a pile of ash and a terrible smell.

No wonder the world referred to them as ash-makers."

Jesus fucking fuck. CHILLS BBY I HAD CHILLS

"Watch out for your little brother" OHOHOHO HEHEEEE

"'Your teacher will be someone who has mastered Neutral Jing. You need to find someone who waits and listens before striking. Do not worry about your old friend Aang, he isn’t buried in the ground yet!' Bumi cackled the way that he had since they were just kids.

...

'The white lotus Pai Sho piece? I don’t have a set, no one else knows how to play.'"

AHAHAH THE TOPH AND UNCLE IROH DROP IM GOING TO BE SICK

"I'll go wherever you go." KILLING MYSELF WHY ARE THEY SO SWEET

anyway that's enough from me (I feel like you should know I typed all of this while either rolling around on the floor screaming or sitting very still with a DEEPLY disturbing (so I'm told) and very somber expression on my face).

i hope you have a lovely day you gorgeous beautiful perfect human being

This is me reading your ask… dude wtf this is so nice!!!!

I AM BEING SHOULDER GRABBED WITH LOVE AND I REALLY LIKE IT AHHHHH!!! its so funny because its been so long since i wrote the first book you sent me those quotes and im like uhhhuhhh ohhh yeah mhmmmm wait i wrote that?? Haha (except the “watch out for your little brother”) cause that was twisted in a way that made me smirk.. haha that sentence meant so much!!! (I do think the bumi quote was directly from canon though so I take zero credit for that just trying to keep it canon haha)

I’m glad you like my writing enough to come scream at me. I love when people scream kind words at me I WANT TO BE SHOULDER GRABBED WITH PRAISE MORE AHHHHH!!!

thanks for this epic ask you’re fucking amazing never change

[burningvelvet]

more random excerpts from lord byron’s diaries (here’s the first post)

“When one subtracts from life infancy (which is vegetation), — sleep, eating, and swilling — buttoning and unbuttoning — how much remains of downright existence? The summer of a dormouse.”

“If this had been begun ten years ago, and faithfully kept!!! — heigho! there are too many things I wish never to have remembered, as it is.“

“Dined — (damn this pen!)”

“Oh! there is an organ playing in the street — a waltz, too! I must leave off to listen. They are playing a waltz, which I have heard ten thousand times at the balls in London, between 1812 and 1815. Music is a strange thing.”

“How strange are our thoughts, &c. &c. &c.“

“It has been said that the immortality of the soul is a ‘grand peut-être’ — but still it is a grand one. Every body clings to it — the stupidest, and dullest, and wickedest of human bipeds is still persuaded that he is immortal.”

“I wish one was — I don’t know what I wish. It is odd I never set myself seriously to wishing without attaining it — and repenting.”

“Came home — my head aches — plenty of news, but too tiresome to set down. I have neither read, nor written, nor thought, but led a purely animal life all day. I mean to try to write a page or two before I go to bed. But, as Squire Sullen says, ‘My head aches consumedly: Scrub, bring me a dram!’ Drank some Imola wine, and some punch.”

“Read — rode — fired pistols — returned — dined — wrote — visited — heard music — talked nonsense — and went home. Wrote part of a Tragedy — advance in Act 1st with ‘all deliberate speed.’ Bought a blanket.“

“The only pleasure of fame is that it paves the way to pleasure; and the more intellectual our pleasure, the better for the pleasure and for us too.”

“I flew into a paroxysm of rage, which almost made me faint. I have not been well ever since. I deserve it for being such a fool.”

“Lewis [..] seems out of humour with every thing. What can be the matter? he is not married — has he lost his own mistress, or any other person’s wife?”

“Scrawled this additional page of life’s log-book. One day more is over of it, and of me; — but ‘which is best, life or death, the gods only know,’ as Socrates said to his judges, on the breaking up of the tribunal.”

“The respectable Job says, ‘Why should a living man complain?’ I really don’t know, except it be that a dead man can’t; and he, the said patriarch, did complain, nevertheless, till his friends were tired and his wife recommended that pious prologue, ‘Curse — and die;’ the only time, I suppose, when but little relief is to be found in swearing.”

“The lapse of ages changes all things — time — language — the earth — the bounds of the sea — the stars of the sky, and every thing ‘about, around, and underneath’ man, except man himself, who has always been, and always will be, an unlucky rascal. The infinite variety of lives conduct but to death, and the infinity of wishes lead but to disappointment. All the discoveries which have yet been made have multiplied little but existence.”

“At five-and-twenty, when the better part of life is over, one should be something; — and what am I? nothing but five-and-twenty — and the odd months. What have I seen? the same man all over the world — ay, and woman too.”

[talking about his experience at a circus] “There was a ‘hippopotamus,’ like Lord Liverpool in the face; and the ‘Ursine Sloth’ had the very voice and manner of my valet.”

[after seeing Shakespeare’s Antony and Cleopatra] “Cleopatra strikes me as the epitome of her sex — fond, lively, sad, tender, teasing, humble, haughty, beautiful, the devil! — coquettish to the last, as well with the ‘asp’ as with Antony.”

[on German] “Of the real language I know absolutely nothing, — except oaths learnt from postilions and officers in a squabble. I can swear in German potently, when I like — ‘Sacrament — Verfluchter — Hundsfott’ — and so forth; but I have little of their less energetic conversation. I like, however, their women (I was once so desperately in love with a German woman, Constance).”

“Dined — news come — the Powers mean to war with the peoples. The intelligence seems positive — let it be so — they will be beaten in the end. The king-times are fast finishing. There will be blood shed like water, and tears like mist; but the peoples will conquer in the end. I shall not live to see it, but I foresee it.”

“Why, at the very height of desire and human pleasure, — worldly, social, amorous, ambitious, or even avaricious, — does there mingle a certain sense of doubt and sorrow — a fear of what is to come — a doubt of what is — a retrospect to the past, leading to a prognostication of the future. (The best of Prophets of the future is the Past.) Why is this? or these? — I know not, except that on a pinnacle we are most susceptible of giddiness, and that we never fear falling except from a precipice — the higher, the more awful, and the more sublime; and, therefore, I am not sure that Fear is not a pleasurable sensation; at least, Hope is; and what Hope is there without a deep leaven of Fear? and what sensation is so delightful as Hope? and, if it were not for Hope, where would the Future be? — in hell. It is useless to say where the Present is, for most of us know; and as for the Past, what predominates in memory? — Hope baffled. Ergo, in all human affairs, it is Hope — Hope — Hope.”

[written when he was a chief in the Carbonari mob during the (ultimately failed) Italian Revolution] “To-day I have had no communication with my Carbonari cronies; but, in the mean time, my lower apartments are full of their bayonets, fusils, cartridges, and what not. I suppose that they consider me as a depôt, to be sacrificed, in case of accidents. It is no great matter, supposing that Italy could be liberated, who or what is sacrificed. It is a grand object — the very poetry of politics. Only think — a free Italy!!!”

“I carried Teresa the Italian translation of Grillparzer’s Sappho, which she promises to read. She quarrelled with me, because I said that love was not the loftiest theme for true tragedy; and, having the advantage of her native language, and natural female eloquence, she overcame my fewer arguments. I believe she was right. I must put more love into ‘Sardanapalus’ than I intended.”

“Wrote some more of the tragedy. Took a glass of grog. After having ridden hard in rainy weather, and scribbled, and scribbled again, the spirits (at least mine) need a little exhilaration, and I don’t like laudanum now as I used to do. So I have mixed a glass of strong waters and single waters, which I shall now proceed to empty. Therefore and thereunto I conclude this day’s diary.”

“I have been turning over different Lives of the Poets. I rarely read their works, unless an occasional flight over the classical ones, Pope, Dryden, Johnson, Gray, and those who approach them nearest (I leave the rant of the rest to the cant of the day), and — I had made several reflections, but I feel sleepy, and may as well go to bed.”

[alicedrawslesmis]

I hope my presence here hasn't been just me complaining, cause I haven't dedicated myself to art in a while lol I am Burned Out... I don't like being a negative presence

in the Positivistic sense not in the new age sense? you know? not pretending to be happy when things are bad, I want my presence to be pulsating with life even if I'm sad or angry or numb. I try not to fall into negation. Most millennial humor I grew up with is this kinda ironic 'haha I'm so depressed 🤪' thing I just don't vibe with at all. I like feeling all my feelings. If I'm depressed and numb to it all then good, lets explore that. If I'm lost and aimless then good, let's be aimless and see where this can lead me to. I want to feel the full breadth of human experience and not live life negating it. I want to reflect on what I'm doing I want to create new things! Work with the world and not despite it

but unfortunately cause I'm totally lost at sea rn this means my posts are lacking and so the internet "persona" ends up being only someone who complains. That's not where I'm at. I don't even know if this makes sense to other people who can't see my brain, am I even making sense. Anyway

I am experimenting with a lot of things art-wise to get my groove on. I've bean reading a bunch. I've been lifting weights which is turns out is super fun and I should've started ages ago. Like I didn't believe the gym could be fun, I thought people were just faking it but it turns out like. It's just self expression like any other activity. And I love to see number go up. And I love making that face you do when you're lifting heavy weights you know the one? And grunting. It's very freeing to just be able to do that. Like all my life I've been bogged down by thinking the gym is for assholes and that I should try to do the Normal Sports that I honestly fucking hate. I hate ball sports. I don't understand swimming as a sport you're trapped doing laps in that freaking pool it's the most boring sport of all time. Sure I liked thinking about nothing and swimming but laps in a pool?? Devil invention. Running is kinda the same although you can run interesting places and aren't trapped in a blue rectangle. Just do the sport you actually want to do. Go to a fight club idk. Learn to kickbox. Punch some stuff. Do push ups, I love doing push ups.

What else? I've been walking my dog for 2hours every day late in the afternoon and getting to hang with his friends at the dog park. He isn't very friendly but he's also not aggressive so it's mostly chill. He's made a friend named Draco Malfoy (she made sure to tell me it was her kid daughter's idea) and everyone calls my dog Sirius Black cause he's got black fur and is, and this is the technical term, giant. Kind of annoying that Harry Potter is still the main thing people go to to describe him. Except for one security guard who I thought was gonna say he looks like Sirius but then said he looks like Sam from Twilight. This was an awesome day

I've been trying to sew and mend my clothes. I replaced the buckle in my bag cause it was broken and I feel kind of amazing about it.

I've been writing some stuff. All unfinished yet. I want to see if I can finish the short story I've been trying to work on besides the Les Mis scripts. I have trouble finishing things I write, which is a problem that, if AO3 is any indication, is probably the world's most common roadblock in writing.

Went to the satanic themed goth club on good friday, that was so fun. We had a blast. Place was PACKED. All goths have the same sense of humor.

I guess that's it for life stuff. I do feel kinda bad that I can't get myself to make fanart right now. I'm just having thoughts on the nature of art and of fanart and the impact of it on the world as a whole. And particularly thoughts on social media and the internet and what it even *is*. What is it for? We really need to work that out.

[school-sanctioned-movie-bullying]

Since the new live action Avatar is apparently out on netflix, I figured now is an excellent time to remember the last attempt at a live action this series got.

Avatar: The Last Airbender is one of the most beloved TV shows of all time, with amazing writing, world-building, and characters. Conversely, The Last Airbender (no avatar in this title) is one of the most detested and worst movies of all time. I doubt that I have anything new to say about it because it has been getting dragged since it was released 14 years ago, but that won't stop me from dragging it some more.

As is the trend with many live action reboots, this movie hates fun. The original show was colorful, funny, and charming; the movie is none of those things. The color palette seems to have been taken directly from a Saw movie, with not a warm tone to be found. For comparisons sake, here's a side by side of the gaang from the movie and from the original:

Isn't it incredible how they managed to sap all the color out of the original character designs?

One of my favorite things about the original cartoon was the expressive animation. I don't expect a live action movie to have expressive animation, but I do expect expressive acting, or even just regular acting. Unfortunately for myself and the world at large, the main actors did not get the memo that they were supposed to do that, so instead they delivered their dialogue stone faced with weird pacing. I don't want to hate on the actors too much, as many of them were children when this movie was released, and who knows what sort of direction M. Night Shyamalan gave them. However, I will say that with maybe the exception of Dev Patel, who played an okay Zuko, the cast did an awful job of capturing the magic of the original characters. I am willing to give a pass to Seychelle Gabriel, because she voiced Asami in The Legend of Korra, and I am nothing if not an Asami supporter. But the rest of the cast is on very thin ice. 

Another fun thing about this god-forsaken movie is the way it manages to make the viewer feel incredibly uncomfortable. It has an aura about it that I can only describe as constipated. The feeling I got watching is reminiscent of the time I was roped into listening a coworker at McDonalds talk about his crypto scheme, except that only lasted about 15 minutes, and the movie is 103 minutes long.

Truly the only good quality of the movie is its ability to bring together so many people in hatred. There aren’t too many things we can all form a near-universal opinion on, but we can all agree that this movie is a dumpster fire. 

Unlike some of the other movies I have hated on this blog, I don’t think it is controversial for me to hate this one. It has already been so thoroughly hated on that all the points I make here are hardly likely to be original. Regardless, I felt it necessary to kick this dead horse, both for the opportunity to complain (one of my favorite activities), and because I need to choose one movie to hate per week for the class this blog is for, and this one is so so hateable. I didn't even list everything wrong with it and this post is already so long.

I haven't watched the new live action show yet, and I don't really have high hopes, but given how low the bar is, it would have to limbo into hell to disappoint me.

[tojisis]

100 Things about me

1) Full name?

Jurgen Teodor Aliaj. (My middle name is my dad's name)

2) Male/Female?

Male. Born and raised.

3) Were you named after anyone?

My late uncle from my mother's side.

4) Does your name mean anything?

It means land worker in German.

5) Nickname(s)?

Juri (from my family), Alejandro (from my girlfriend)

6) What do you think you look like?

Yes.

7) Date of birth?

August 11th 2006

8) Place of birth and current location?

I was born in Ioannina, Greece. I currently live in Tirana, Albania (I've been here since I was 2 years old).

9) Nationality and race?

Greco-Albanian, white as a ghost.

10) Astrology sign?

Leo. Rawr.

11) Chinese astrology sign?

Dog, I'm not complaining I have two of them.

12) Religion?

Christian. (Roman Catholic)

13) What's your favorite smell?

Cheap incense my hipster brother used to keep in his study room in the 2010s

14) Political Position?

Independent.

15) What do you prefer to drink in the morning?

Chocolate milk.

16) Hair + eye color?

Dark brown hair, almost black, with hazel eyes.

17) Do you look like anyone famous?

Girls used to say I looked like Tony Lopez. I think I'm more like Anthony Padilla.

18) Are you good looking?

Perhaps.

19) Any unusual talents?

I am near immune to any sickness and or allergy if that counts as a talent.

20) Righty, lefty, or ambidextrous?

Ambidextrous.

21) Gay, straight, or bi?

Straight.

22) What do you do for a living?

Senior student, who is jobless.

23) What do you do for fun?

Well, I used to play bass, but that is long gone. I do like travelling a lot and I can't wait to be independently travelling in the future.

24) Materials to work with?

I don't work...

25) What kind of materials would you like to work with?

A hammer, like Judge Judy.

26) Have you met your grandparents?

Yes. Unfortunately ¾ of them have passed away when I was not yet a teenager.

27) Boyfriend/Girlfriend?

I have a beautiful and amazing girlfriend.

28) Crush?

My girlfriend.

29) What celebrity would you date if you could?

If my girlfriend was a celebrity, I would date her. If I was forced to date a legit celebrity, maybe Lucy Liu.

30) Current worries?

The country I live in. Murders and car accidents by the daily.

31) Favorite online guy/girl(s)?

My girlfriend.

32) Favorite place to be?

A place with air-conditioning, food and my girlfriend.

33) Least favorite place to be?

A place which is WITHOUT air-conditioning, food and my girlfriend.

34) Do you burn or tan?

I tan, except for a few parts of my face and back.

35) Ever break a bone?

I fractured my right tibia 3 years ago.

36) What is your favorite cereal?

I don't eat cereal.

37) Person you cry with?

Myself most of the time, I'd rather cry to my girlfriend if we weren't 2 hours away from each other.

38) Any sisters?

I have two sisters. One is older, the other is younger.

39) Any brothers?

I have two older brothers.

40) Any pets?

Two golden retrievers. Shanks and Jay

41) An illness?

Nope. I'm a healthy boy.

42) A pager?

I'm pretty sure my brothers and sister used to have one of those. I've never used one.

43) A personal phone line?

Those don't exist anymore.

44) A cell phone?

I have a Samsung Galaxy S10.

45) A visible birthmark?

I have a mole on my neck.

46) A pool or hot tub?

Pure salty seaside. Nothing beats it.

47) A car?

Currently, no. Once I get my license I'm planning on getting my brother's old Wolkswagen.

48) Personality?

I am usually very brooding, unless music is involved.

49) Driving?

I haven't gotten my license yet, but I know the basics of driving. My dad taught me.

50) Your clothing style?

Jeans, a shirt, and a hoodie at almost all points in the year. I also like hats.

51) Room?

52) What's missing?

Half my stuff probably, but I try not to look for it as it all wanders back again eventually.

53) Do you like roller coasters?

Oh God, no. I hate those. I actually threw up once.

54) Bed?

I own one, yes.

55) Relationship with your parent(s)?

Pretty good, although there are scuffles every once in a while. Better than most.

56) Do you believe in yourself?

In some areas, yes. In most, I have no reason to.

57) Do you believe in love at first sight?

No, but I do love to have mature arguments with people who do.

58) Consider yourself a good listener?

Most of the time yes.

59) Have a future dream that you would like to share?

Law. Adjourning. Law. Justice.

60) Get along with your parents?

More than ninety-nine percent of the time, honestly.

61) Save your e-mail conversations?

I save those yeah, but mainly for archiving and later use if needed.

62) Pray?

Meh.

63) Believe in reincarnation?

Nope.

64) Brush your teeth twice a day?

Three times usually.

65) Like to talk on the phone?

It's exhausting unless I hear my girlfriend talk. Those are calls worth having.

66) Like to eat?

I eat a lot, but I can't gain weight.

67) Like to exercise?

I go to the gym twice a week usually, but other than that I'm a lazy bum.

68) Like to watch sports?

Yes. Been with Barça in the womb.

69) Sing in the car?

Depends on the songs.

70) What is a dream that you have all the time?

I haven't had a dream in two whole years. Maturing ig.

71) Dream in color?

Idk.

72) Do you have nightmares?

Idk.

73) Sleep with a stuffed animal?

No.

74) What's right next to you?

Sunglasses, Murakami book, Backback, Summer hat.

75) What's on your favorite mug?

One I got from Greece last year that's shaped like a woman in a red bikini.

76) What's on your mouse pad?

I don't own a mouse pad.

77) Your favorite flavor of gum?

Spearmint or Watermelon.

78) Your brand of deodorant?

AXE: Vice

79) Your dream honeymoon spot?

Saint Tropez, which is too much now, but I'm sure I'll be able to financially ensure it in the future.

80) Your dream husband/wife?

Intelligent, nice, likes music, can keep up an actual conversation, similar interests and doesn't have an enormous complex with her ego.

81) What's hiding in your closet?

Nothing to hide. I've cleared out my junk.

82) Under your bed?

A suitcase full of old pictures of relatives I've never met and cassette tapes belonging to my mom.

83) The name of one of your closest/best friends?

Ugh, either Santian or Erion. I can't choose between the two, because I grew up with them both. I'm a tad bit closer to Erion tho.

84) Your bad time of the day?

I'm batman, everyday is gloomy and dark.

85) Your worst fear(s)?

Heights. Shit they scare me.

86) What's the weather like?

Balkan hot, which is so fucking hot.

87) Your favorite time of year?

Spring.

88) Your favorite holiday?

March 9th, international sleep day.

89) A material weakness?

My girlfriend.

90) The weirdest food or drink that you like?

Ermmmmmmmmmmy girlfriend and casserole.

91) At the top of your "to do list"?

Become lawyer.

92) The hardest thing about growing up?

You're more nostalgic and less down to earth, pondering about life being less fun now that you're mature.

93) A pet peeve?

Being the penultimate child of 5 siblings.

94) Your scariest moment?

Whenever I have the gut feeling I've forgotten something that was supposed to be on me.

95) Your attitude about love?

I shouldn't rush it.

96) The funniest or most desperate thing you've done?

Sophmore year, group facetiming a friend as I baited him into a fake girl's ig account and he straight up called me mommy before revealing myself.

97) The worst feeling in the world?

That you've absolutely blown over an argument after carefully crafting it in your head. Ya gotta live with the embarrassment.

98) The best feeling in the world?

Being with my girlfriend.

99) What are you listening to right now?

Stranger In This Town by Richie Sambora

100) Like to travel?

Yep. Might go to Milan for my 18th.

[thistransient]

- If I had a nickel for every time I posted a photo of a goose and it ended up getting over a thousand notes, I'd have two nickels. I would say 'who can fathom the whims of the tumblr audience', because photos I love often go totally unappreciated in favour of something random I shared on a whim, but clearly there is a trend here. Also, the first time around I warned new followers the goose was a one-time phenomenon, and clearly I lied. There may well be future geese, just keep your expectations reasonably low.

- The other day I was talking to a Japanese friend about how jarring it is to overhear one's native language when living somewhere it isn't spoken often. Forced to eavesdrop because you can't not understand it! (Unlike the blissful white noise attained by zoning out around a language that requires some focus to understand.) Recently a loud American guy has started turning up with a companion at my local breakfast joint and inflicting this very situation upon me at high volume. I might not mind so much if I couldn't still hear him when they sit at the very back of the shop and I at the very front. To be fair, a) they come at the same time daily so it's within my power to simply go earlier and b) I'm sure I've tormented enough people with my own public English conversations (although I don't think anyone will ever accuse me of being loud, after a lifetime of complaints that I'm nigh inaudible). In a moment of pettiness, however, I decided to bring my loud Canadian friend today and sit in the back at their usual table. "I can see why you call him your nemesis" he commented, after witnessing [hearing] the state of things. I felt somewhat validated.

- Further brekkie shop gossip (what a fulfilling social life I have, you see): my slutty bisexual summer completely failed to manifest, but we can still have awkward bisexual autumn. Last week the cute guy who also eats there regularly and I ended up putting our trays away at the same time. He looked at me (probably on the simple basis that I was standing next to him). I glanced back and then quickly away. Outside the shop, he was organising his scooter when something possessed me to make direct eye contact. He gave me the nod, and something possessed me further to smile radiantly in response (albeit under the mask). He smiled back. I ran away.

- Because I agreed to model for a friend at a rope class this weekend, I have been faithfully abstaining from anything that could overly aggravate my ribs in their healing (although this also means I haven't been socialising much, hence the most interesting thing recently being the breakfast shop dynamics) and just going biking instead (safe enough so far). The blissful but brief window of perfect fall weather I waited for all summer has already started edging into "I could go outside and gambol about without getting too sweaty, buuut actually now I'm cold and would like to stay under the blanket." (Complain as I might, I actually do appreciate the return of boot & coat season. Or at least for myself, raised somewhere around the 43rd parallel north, since it's apparently always boot & coat season for locals.)

- I suppose the counselling I started has been having some effect, because I've begun to get some of my shit together (some, not all, but better than nothing). However, I think I will still have to do my December visa run (that ironic ticket to Macau). Because I haven't bought a return yet, I started to ruminate on the possibility of getting another Chinese visa (my previous one was invalidated when I updated the personal details on my new passport)- I could in theory take the ferry to Hong Kong and do it at the same agency where I got my first one, except that things have changed post-Covid and one must enquire personally about their rates and conditions. I may have enquired and am awaiting a response...

[chickalupe]

Feeling very down right now, just want to vent...

(Treating this like my old Livejournal since I don't really have anywhere else I can complain LMAO)

I've been out of work since August after completely running out of FMLA.

Between getting severe COVID in February and being out recovering for 6 weeks -- and then with Long COVID making the chronic fatigue and migraines I already had even worse -- I ended up missing so much work that I used all the time FMLA allowed before the year was even half over.

I'm living with my parents now and don't really have income except my savings; honestly most days I don't have the physical or mental spoons to even contemplate applying for even a part-time remote position yet. Thankfully I also have a retirement fund I am slowly cashing in, even if that also isn't really sustainable long-term. (But me losing my insurance will definitely be an issue soon when I run out of refills for my prescription meds...)

I'm aware that I've been pretty isolated since August; I've gotten maybe like two texts from former co-workers. I'm mostly asleep during the daytime and don't drive, so going out is hard. The person I consider my BFF is out of state and is busy with their own life. The only people I talk to most days are my Mom and Dad. (Admittedly, I am also pretty terrible about calling or texting people!) Tumblr has thus been the majority of my social interaction, for good or ill.

On top of all that, my birthday is this Friday and I always find myself depressed anyway this time of year. Like, it's probably half Seasonal Affective Disorder, and half a reminder that I'm a year older and having mixed feelings about where I am in life, IDK... But the current situation of *gestures vaguely at everything* isn't helping. So I am very blergh in general.

My parents and I had made vague plans a couple weeks ago that we could all go out for dinner on my actual birthday; nothing fancy, maybe the nearest sit-down Mexican restaurant. I was kinda looking forward to it. Mom just informed me that she is now unavailable after 5pm on my b-day itself since she offered to babysit kids for someone in their church that evening and night. We can't do it tomorrow night either, because Mom & Dad will be at a craft show from 4pm to 10pm.

And... it's fine, I guess. I'm disappointed but I'm an adult. I'm not gonna throw a tantrum or yell and cry or try to guilt her about it. She brought me flowers from the grocery store as a sort of peace offering and says we can still have cake or whatever. We'll probably do something on Saturday instead.

But EVERY YEAR, it's something. Last year, it was the cheesecake I asked for as a birthday cake getting dropped on the way into the house from the car; over half of it was smushed and then Dad stole the best remaining slice for himself. The two years before that, it was during the worst of the pandemic so I just had mediocre delivery food. I literally cannot remember the last birthday I really enjoyed in over a decade and half.

Another big source of anxiety right now -- we found out have 60 days to move since the leasing company is selling this house. So we have to find a new place, be packed and then move by January. Meanwhile home inspectors, realty agents and potential buyers are walking through while we're still living here, and it's super stressful. Words can't express how much I hate strangers being here any and all days of the week.

I guess I'm feeling a bit sorry for myself. I'm not trying to be whiny or woe-is-me, but my mental health right now is uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... Not Great (tm) 😅. I do try hard to be positive but it just takes so much energy and I'm stressed and a little numb.

Not really sure how to end this. I just really needed to put it all in writing as a journal-type situation so that I don't end up crying in real life LOL.

Current Mood: burnt-out 😑

Current Music: HGTV playing in the background

[nyxneon]

Here comes my very silly and very unlike-my-style little Bleach fic...

I own nothing except my obsession. Not making any profit. Obviously.

I tried to do something I usually avoid: dialogue and humour. So...yeah. Attempt at humour. Emphasis on attempt. Dialogue heavy. Proceed at your own risk.

To be continued. Hopefully.

(I wrote this during the summer... when I was definitely less depressed than I am now. Trying to cheer myself up with a bit of fanfic.)

You can find it here on ao3.

Or you can read below:

#1

 

“So, how is the boy with the oral sex tattoo?” Lisa asks.

She's lounging on the sofa, reading an abomination about naughty bored office ladies. With a straight face, of course.

Kensei sighs, shrugs and takes a sip of his beer, trying to avoid the subject.

“You've got to hand it to him, he's got balls, to get a tattoo like that on his face.”

Kensei knows he's doomed to have people comment on that forever. And says: “You know why he did it, you damn pervert! He didn't even know what it means in the world of the Living until very recently!”

Kensei would love to be joking...but it's the truth.

“Ayasegawa told him, one night we went out to drink...”

Shinji is now grinning ear to ear. He's just so terribly sorry he missed that.

“It's been the worst case of second-hand embarrassment of my life. Mashiro laughed so much she nearly hollowfied by mistake.”

“Well, and how did he react to the shocking news?” Rose asks, amused, but more composed than his companions.

“He turned as red as a kid hearing about sex for the first time. He kept looking at me, his mouth gaping like a fish, and blushing like a virgin. Unbelievable” he shrugs.

"Oh? And yet, I've heard he's not...exactly a blushing virgin after all..." Shinji hides his smirk behind yet another bottle of wine he's trying to open. It's Rose's turn to be the subject of some juicy gossip now. 

"I heard he got quite close to lieutenant Kira after that fucker Aizen showed his true colours... if you get my meaning..."

Kensei nods, "so I heard, too. Shuhei once broke a guy's nose because he'd said something nasty about it." 

"How poetic..." Rose is not jealous. He finds it terribly endearing and romantic. If Shinji is trying to... make him say something "unsuitable", it's not working.

"The sad goth and the tattooed punk? Damn, that's hot." Lisa finally raises her head from the manga, suddenly interested in the direction the evening has taken.

"Rose, if Kensei here doesn't make a move, you can start planning a nice menage à trois..."

"Lisa, do you ever stop thinking about sex?"

"I'm just a curious young woman, I have a healthy interest in the pleasures of the flesh..."

"Oh for fuck's sake..."

"You know, Lisa is not wrong..." Shinji is still trying to get Rose to say...something.

But Rose knows his tactics, and is skirting the subject. 

"Damnit Hirako, don't enable her!" 

"Shut up! You're one to talk, Mr I have a fucking 69 tattooed on my abs..."

"Well, Shinji, what about you? How's it going with your adorable little lieutenant?" Rose finally asks, with a subtle smile, while lighting a cigarette.

Shinji seems surprised, but Rose is perceptive... and knows him well.

"Oh, she gets a bit emotional sometimes, you know, but she is a fierce one. She scolds me all the time." But he doesn’t look annoyed, far from it. He looks entirely all too pleased with himself.

"Momo is a great lieutenant..." Shinji goes on, keeping on safe ground.

"Yeah, she does all your work because you're a lazy bastard."

"I think she's finally happy. All the others say that she's never looked better."

Lisa smirks. "Have you tried anything yet?"

"Who? Me? I'm not like certain degenerate captains who want to fuck their subordinates..." and he blows smoke in Rose's direction. 

"Or like that lying snake Ichimaru..." Kensei adds. 

"I see the gossip network in the Seireitei is still as efficient as it once was."

"You are all so crass." Rose complains. 

 

#2

 

“Did you guys hear? Kuchiki and Abarai are officially engaged. They are going to get married soon.”

“What?” Kensei is looking positively astonished. 

“Not Byakuya, you idiot. His sister!” Lisa yells.

“Ah, and here I thought that Byakuya was finally going to get laid...” Shinji quips.

“They make a cute couple. It's a pity she's off the market though.”

“Lisa, I thought you liked big boobs.”

“Odd. I could say the same about you, but here you are, drooling after your lieutenant…”

“How do you guys get anything done? You just spend your time trying to bang your subordinates!” Kensei yells.

“Hey, I don't even have a lieutenant yet!”

“Thank the gods for that!”

“Well, you wouldn't even have to try very hard, Kensei. Hisagi is this close to jumping you...” Mashiro adds.

“How do you resist him? He's so handsome. And he literally worships you..."

“It's not like that, Rose. He just...still has to get over the fact that I saved his life when he was a kid.”

“Yeah, right. I saw the way he looks at you...” Shinji smirks.

“He would let you bend him over in front of the entire Gotei 13.”

“Lisa, we don't all read porn 24/7, you know...”

“You should try it then, maybe you wouldn't be so grumpy all the time! Here, smoke this... maybe it will help a bit.”

“Lisa, don't tell me you bought weed from Urahara...”

“No, I bought this from that friend of Ichigo's, the little slick guy who likes milfs.”

Shinji briefly wonders what kind of friends Ichigo has in the world of the Living, after all... 

“By the way, Urahara told me that he's been working on a fancy little project on the side… He’s been trying to make drugs that are specifically designed for shinigami.”

“He said he got inspired watching Breaking Bad...” Mashiro adds.

“Of course he did, that smug smartass.”

“He's asked for Akon's collaboration. Captain Kurotsuchi doesn't know. And must absolutely not know. Urahara said he's going to give him a lifetime supply of cigarettes at a special price.”

 

#3 

 

“You damn pervert! You traumatised my lieutenant!”

Rose is looking kinda sheepish. This time Shinji has a point, actually. 

Mashiro is trying her best not to burst out laughing. Lisa looks composed, but...it's just a facade, of course. 

And Kensei is the only one who doesn't know what happened, as usual. 

“Shinji sent Hinamori to the Third, and she caught Rose sucking Kira off in the middle of the office.”

“Are you out of your fucking mind? What if it wasn't Hinamori? What if...captain Kuchiki was the one to come by? Or, worse, Hitsugaya? Can you imagine that?”

Rose does indeed look a bit guilty. 

“Shinji, don't be so hard on Rose! You know poor Kira needs some love and distraction...”

Mashiro gleefully adds: “And also a lot of dick, apparently.”

“Lisa, you're just saying this because you wish it was you!”

“Fair point, you know me well. But it might be...you know, good for you, in the end.”

“What the hell do you mean?”

Lisa smiles conspiratorially. “I know that little Momo has been reading...some interesting things recently.”

“Hinamori is buying porn magazines from you?”  Mashiro asks, her eyes as big and round as sake cups.

“Worse! She sends other people, because she's too shy. She sent Matsumoto and Abarai.”

“You must be joking!”

“You know I take porn very seriously, I wouldn't joke about something like this.” And then she goes on: “It's been...interesting. Abarai was fucking mortified. But he didn't want to say no to an old friend who has been through so much. He kept glancing around, like he was afraid his captain could find him there...” 

Mashiro, always the lover of juicy and dirty gossip, is very interested. “But what did she want to buy?”

“Oh, you know, pretty light stuff, nothing too explicit. Office romance. Cute, shy secretary who gets it on with the new stylish womanizer boss… Does it ring any bells, Shinji?”

“Go for it, Shinji! It's time to put that tongue piercing of yours to good use!”