#i have personal beef with this beef cake

[louyahah]

Teo: “I used you for your body.”

Angel: “Mhm and I… definitely invited you over at 10pm on a Wednesday night because of your absolute rocking personality. Way to go.”

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

now this one was an absolute Blast to do!

outfit is once again from @chocolategothwolfhorse, whose ask is full of bangers

[icewindandboringhorror]

Misc. photos from the past year or so ~

[thethirdromana]

Mem., get recipe for Mina: a food guide to Dracula Daily

Inspired by There and Snack Again (in which you eat along with the LOTR movies), this is your guide to eating and drinking along with Dracula Daily.

All under a cut because there's no way I can do this without extensive spoilers. I strongly recommend not reading this unless you already know what happens in Dracula. Also only if you're comfortable reading about alcoholic drinks - there's a lot of booze in this novel.

Let's eat!

2 May We start with the famous paprika hendl. Google "chicken paprikash" and choose whichever recipe most strikes your fancy.

3 May For breakfast, choose from mamaliga (cornmeal porridge, similar to grits), "impletata" (vânătă umplută - stuffed aubergine) or anything with more paprika in it.

4 May For dinner, Jonathan has robber steak: "bits of bacon, onion, and beef, seasoned with red pepper, and strung on sticks and roasted over the fire".

5 May Slivovitz, if you'd like it (Jonathan declines). Then, for dinner, Dracula serves up roast chicken, with some cheese, a salad and a glass or two of Tokaji wine.

6 May "A cold breakfast" for Jonathan. In Romania a cold breakfast might include boiled eggs, telemea (sheep's cheese), franzela (bread) with assorted spreads, sliced cucumber and tomatoes, and sunculita taraneasca (sliced smoked pork). Jonathan also has "an excellent supper", but doesn't tell us what that includes.

16 May Would it be too bleak if I suggested eating a symbolic Jelly Baby?

26 May A glass of wine as Quincey and Jack congratulate Arthur and drown their sorrows.

18 June There's a kind of Scottish fruit slice called "flies' graveyard". That might make a suitable snack given Renfield's meal today.

24 June I guess a gingerbread woman, for the wolves? IDK, it turns out doing this for a horror novel is a bit grim.

8 July Thankfully the internet has hundreds of ideas for spider-themed cakes so you can eat along with Renfield.

18 July The voyage of the Demeter begins! Celebrate by eating like a sailor: have some salt pork, or make ship's biscuit.

20 July Renfield has just eaten several sparrows. Provide redress by feeding birds near you, bird flu guidance permitting.

24 July Imitate the "feet-folk" from York and Leeds by drinking some tea or eating some cured herring.

10 August Lucy and Mina enjoy a "severe tea". There are lots of severe teas in Victorian literature, but few writers actually describe what's in it - e.g. the Churchman's shilling magazine, 1868, has a story with a severe tea "which implies coffee, tea, and muffins, with substantials". What are substantials? I have no idea, but that's what you should eat today.

11 August Dracula has a little nibble on Lucy. I don't suggest doing this for every vampire bite in the novel, but given this one is particularly significant, how about marking the occasion with some black pudding?

30 August No food details for a while, but in this entry, Lucy notes that she "has an appetite like a cormorant" and "Arthur says I am getting fat". Celebrate with some cake.

3 September Van Helsing has been! And surely he wouldn't have come all the way from the Netherlands empty-handed? Acknowledge his visit with some gouda or a stroopwafel.

4 September Eat some sugar, which Renfield has requested for his flies.

7 September To stay in line with what the characters actually eat and drink, have a glass of port (though ideally not if you've just given blood). But for the real spirit of the day, consider a corn-on-the-cob.

9 September Free space! Jack has "an excellent meal" but doesn't say what it is. Dig into your favourite dinner.

10 September A sip of brandy, with which Van Helsing wets Lucy's lips.

11 September The garlic flowers arrive. There's lots that you can make with wild garlic - personally, I like it in risotto.

17 September A boxful of garlic flowers arrive for Lucy every day. Time to make chicken with 40 cloves of garlic. Other options for today include more black pudding (in honour of Renfield lapping up Jack's blood) or sherry.

18 September The Zookeeper enjoys a teacake, and so shall we.

20 September No food, but the labourers have "a stiff glass of grog". This is rum diluted with water, but you could also add lemon or lime juice, sugar, and/or cinnamon.

25 September Nibble another Jelly Baby for the Bloofer Lady.

29 September A lot happens in this entry, but there's not a lot of food. There are thirsty labourers, however. Maybe have a beer?

30 September Mina makes everyone a pot of tea. Also, we don't know what they have for dinner, but they eat it at 7pm, if you'd like to time your evening meal accordingly.

1 October More tea! Since this is being gulped down by a working man, make it builder's style - strong, sweet, lots of milk.

2 October Jonathan visits the Aërated Bread Company. He only has a cup of tea, but you could have whatever you like best from their menu:

(source)

3 October Dracula forces Mina to drink his blood like "a child forcing a kitten's nose into a saucer of milk". You could either have some more black pudding, or drink a glass of milk in solidarity with Mina.

15 October The Crew of Light aren't focusing much on meals any more, but they have travelled on the Orient Express. Here's the 1887 dining car menu.

(source - I can't vouch for the accuracy of a random person on Twitter but it looks plausible)

29 October No one is thinking of food in this bit of the novel (though Mina makes yet more tea), but as they're heading to Romania, have some sarmale. These stuffed cabbage rolls are the Romanian national dish.

31 October Mina and Van Helsing have "a huge basket of provisions". Have a picnic in their honour, if it's warm enough where you are.

1 November Mina and Van Helsing have "hot soup" into which the local cooks have put an extra amount of garlic. Consider having a truly extra amount of garlic with this 44-garlic-clove soup.

7 November The Crew of Light return to Transylvania. No details of food, but in honour of their journey, I would suggest a final round of chicken paprikash, to bring us back to where it all began.

[wlntrsldler]

smau (instagram): luke castellan x poseidon!reader

based on yourstingrey's post about luke being a drake stan and my obsession with this guy’s tiktok videos

or

a smau where luke didn’t betray everyone and chb allowed phones; teenage, drake stan!luke (birthdays edition)

tagged yn_yln, silenabeauregard, and others.

clarisselarue: shut up, the birthday girl’s talking 🎂

yn_yln: ITS MY GIRL’S BIRTHDAY

yn_yln: happy birthday clar <3 i love u

clarisselarue: i loveeee you more. thanks for celebrating with me!!!

silenabeauregard: ohhhh u look so good in the first picture

clarisselarue: thanks for taking the best pictures of me ily

silenabeauregard: i’d literally do anything for u

chrisr0driguez: happy birthday clarisse!!! hope you had a good one!!

lukecastell4n: he was shaking typing out this comment

poseidonsfavchild: bro is down BAD

poseidonsfavchild: happy bday clarisse thanks for contributing to my character development (bullying me)

lukecastell4n: presents, presence, and power g 💯 have a good one!

bethchase: what does this mean luke

gr0verunderwood: ????

tagged bethchase, gr0verunderwood, and others.

poseidonsfavchild: FINALLY a teenager 😈

bethchase: nobody leave ur cabins ITS FOR YOUR OWN SAFETY

gr0verunderwood: bro turned 13 and forgot how to act

poseidonsfavchild: bro is in his 20’s and beefing with a 13 yr old?

gr0verunderwood: SATYRS AGE DIFFERENTLY I TOLD U THIS

yn_yln: happy birthday baby bro 🔱🩵 (change ur username! it’s false 😃)

poseidonsfavchild: did he show up to ur birthday party??? DIDNT THINK SO

yn_yln: DAD WAS THERE?

lukecastell4n: another point scored against Father Time, i see you 💯

poseidonsfavchild: what do u know about fathers?

clarisselarue: nah u ate with this 😭😭

chrisr0driguez: PAUSE.

bethchase: percy.

poseidonsfavchild: sorry

tagged lukecastell4n, clarisselarue, and others.

yn_yln: another trip around the sun! thanks for not letting me drown, dad 🩵

poseidonsfavchild: how r u a child of poseidon and dont know how to swim? AT UR GROWN AGE?

poseidonsfavchild: happy bday tho sis

yn_yln: thanks percy 🙄

clarisselarue: happy birthday my love ❤️‍🔥

yn_yln: thank uuuuu clar i love u always

silenabeauregard: happy birthday pretty girl 🩷

yn_yln: thank u bae

lukecastell4n: here’s to another chapter of your legend. love you 🖤

poseidonsfavchild: how u managed to pull my sister is the biggest unsolved mystery of our generation

bethchase: can u say happy birthday like a normal person for once

chrisr0driguez: dont listen to the haters bro this one goes hard

yn_yln: love you always <3

tagged yn_yln, chrisr0driguez, and others.

lukecastell4n: more life

poseidonsfavchild: hey brother cake and candles man

poseidonsfavchild: salute to your birth anniversary bro

gr0verunderwood: roaring into another year of glory

bethchase: acknowledging your yearly ascent

clarisselarue: celebrating ur legacy day big dawg

silenabeauregard: marking another year of your strength

yn_yln: happy birthday lover boyyyy

lukecastell4n: thank you babyyyy

lukecastell4n: ik yall are clowning me in the comments but jokes on you, these comments go hard

poseidonsfavchild: ....

bethchase: luke pls

chrisr0driguez: NAH FR these are bars

liked by lukecastell4n.

[the-cat-and-the-birdie]

I bet Miguel can cook REALLY well.

Like CRAZY WELL.

Being a dad he did have to come up with something to eat for dinner every night

And with Gabriella being a bit picky, sometimes he had to get creative

And some of his favorite memories are the conversations he and Gabbie had while dinner was on the stove

But even now, he loves it. Miguel finds he act of cooking so relaxing. He likes the peace and the order of it

And even if he comes in really really late from HQ - he'll still try and cook something

Fighting sleep while cooking a quesadilla on the stove

He's a Sazon loyalist SORRY ADOBO STANS

There's always tortillas, sour cream and salsa verde in his fridge - freshly made

(if you got those you can figure something out)

And he grows his own cilantro and basil on the window sill

And he'll never use powdered garlic, only fresh

Yes he can eat garlic - yes people on campus ask him that a lot

(he's hot ACTUALLY a vampire)

His seafood is TO DIE FOR

Miguel can make amazing lobster tail, or crab legs (with Old Bay and butter of course)

And his Ceviche is SO GOOD and SO FRESH

Most likely makes everything spicy. It's not even that he 'loves' spicy food - He just makes it spicy AF and acts like he doesn't notice

MEANWHILE you're next to him and it hurts to breathe

He and Hobie are bean stans.

Miguel loves them in Chilli con Carne, with rice, refried, you name it

and Hobie goes through those British blue cans of Heinz baked beans like it's nobodies business

They both think beans are underrated

Makes AMAZING MOLE and even better Tamales

But you have to BEG him for weeks on end to get him to make Tamales cause he can't be bothered - and he will make you help

He likes Avocado, like in general. On toast, with eggs, guacamole use always a staple

He'll often just eat chips and guacamole the whole day in his office and he'll get pissed if the food court is out of it.

Well look at a corn shell ground beef taco and be like 'You think that's a taco? Is that what you honestly believe?'

Loves cooking with other people - in fact Miguel actually just likes working with people in general. That's why Lyla has a personality.

He's good at guiding others during cooking and teaching them things and not bossing them around

OBSESSED LIKE CONCERNINGLY SO

With mango and Tajin

He'll put Tajin seasoning on ANYTHING - the first time Jess saw him put it on watermelon she was like 'what for????'

But he loves fruit in general, watermelon, lychee, guava. A lot of them are grown fresh in the Society gardens

Strawberries are a favorite of his. Gabriella loved strawberries on pancakes

He pronounces lychee - Leechee (not Lie-chee)

He's the fucking PRO at protein shakes and milkshakes

The man needs workout fuel and whey powder and kale and potassium and-

He's in the kitchen 5am getting ready for the gym

Making a shit ton of peanut butter strawberry banana and oats protein smoothie with coconut milk and honey to sweeten

Because he does have a sweet tooth.

Jolly Ranchers are an oral fixation

You can hear him sucking on one, the quiet clacking of it.

Or see him press it into his cheek, lost in thought

But baking and sweets are his secret love

He just doesn't have anyone to test it on anymore - so he doesn't

His flan is the best, and it was one of Gabbie's show faves

He eats parfaits pretty often, and makes them a lot for Jess (and she teases it for it)

Miguel LOVES tres leches cake, as sweet as possible. And fancy stuff like creme brulee

Don't tell anyone but he actually really likes cheesecake he acts like it's a secret

With him cooking get ready for the most sugariest breakfast ever. It's a dad thing.

Whipped cream, fruits, syrup, chocolate chips, you name it.

Sure Miguel shouldn't have been giving Gabriella THAT much sugar THAT early - but with you it's fine so enjoy the stomach ache in two hours

Another dad thing:

COOK OUT FOOD.

Him and Peter get INTENSE.

Miguel swears by charcoal grills, Peter likes propane and gas

Miguel is the tio with the best Hot dogs and relish that HITS

Peter is the burger dad who spends an insane amount of money on Angus beef

Miguel judges your hot dog toppings but says nothing

His ELOTE???? EUPHORIC

Like,,, it'll bring you to tears it's so good - I don't know how he does it

And when it comes to cooking he's ALWAYS willing to learn

He'd rather invite you over and cook you something than going out to eat

He'll learn something you like or where you're from and make something from there

Even better if you can teach him how to make something - the two of you can make it together

But his favorite part by far is setting it down at the table, trying not to seem like he's watching your reaction

And seeing your face light up at the first bite

Or even better -

Seeing you collapse into bed with a food coma

Miguel with cooking and food as a love language

[babyblueetbaemonster]

Local Alchemist needed to be stopped.

My formula of restore fatigue:

Spring salad: lettuce, radish, potato, (optional: apple, orange, watermelon). Unfortunately it has Burden side effect. (if choose orange, you'll get a bonus Shield effect) Can also side with Ranch dressing: cheese wedge, leek, onion, garlic. And this one has Damage Agility side effect. It can be fix by removing the garlic.

Potato soup: potato, garlic, leek. This recipe has Frost Shield side effect. Perfect choice for a cold weather.

Corn salsa: corn, tomato, onion, garlic. Unfortunately it has Damage Agility side effect, but you can get Detect Life in the process.

Grilled cheese sandwich: bread loaf, cheese wedge, cheese wheel. Unfortunately it has Damage Agility side effect. I should have removed the cheese wedge. Sorry Baurus :(

Classic ham sandwich: bread loaf, cheese wedge, ham, lettuce. Unfortunately this recipe also has Damage Agility side effect, but bonus Fire Shield woohoo!

Gyudon: beef, onion, rice

Mix berries: blackberry, strawberry, (we only have two kinds of berries?) (optional: apple, orange, pear). Actually, don't put apple or pear in it. They will cause Damage Health.

Crabby corn soup: crab, corn, onion. You can add cheese wedge for bonus Fire Shield (and Damage Agility) effect.

Chili con carne: beef (/boar meat /mutton /venison), onion, garlic, tomato. Side effect is Detect Life. (Beef flavor will grant you Shield effect. Unfortunately Boar meat will have burden side effect and Venison is Damage Health)

Pumpkin pie: pumpkin, sweetcake (/flour /sweetroll). Unfortunately both flour and sweetroll has Damage Personality side effect

Carrot cake: carrot, sweet cakes

Strawberry cheesecake: strawberry, cheese wedge, flour (/sweetcake /sweetroll). The flour version has Reflect Damage side effect. I highly recommend it.

[gyeomsweetgyeom]

[4:26 pm]

You groaned under your breath grabbing the sticky note with the name of your friend from the board as you moved stuck it to the side. Fiance!Mark shot you a look from the corner of his eye as he did the same with a sticky note that had his cousin’s name on it instead.

“Dude! We had that whole table planned out! Why are you moving him?” You asked, the stress and exhaustion very evident in your voice.

“We can’t sit him at this table because there’s no room for his plus one, and he doesn’t get along with this aunt,” Mark replied pointing to a another sticky note that was right beside the now empty space.

You groaned, running a hand down your face before looking back at the notes you had written off to the side. Who had a plus one, people who didn’t get along, people you wanted close to your table, and those you wanted very far away- out of sight. “Bro, how can you sit these two next to each other? Isn’t she coming with her husband who’s her ex?” Mark asked pointing at two sticky notes that had your friend and cousin’s names written on them.

“Shit dude, I forgot,” you sighed, taking your friend and her husband’s sticky notes and sticking them to the side of the board too. By now the side of the board contained more names of people without seating, than people who currently had seats.

Another few minutes went by of you and Mark putting one sticky note down only to remove it a second later because there was some issue with the seating. “Bro,” Mark groaned, “why did we agree to do this again?”

“The planner doesn’t know the intricacies of these relationships like we do, it’s the only thing we have to do for ourselves Mark,” You sighed in defeat. Wedding planning was stressful to say the very least, even with a wedding planner. There was so much to get done, so much to confirm, people to talk to, appointments to make, adjustments that constantly needed to be made. Luckily, your wedding planner was amazing, but there was still so much both you and Mark had to do, not wanting to be passive in planning your own wedding. This seating chart was proving to be the hardest challenge yet, and Mark took 2 weeks to decide if he wanted chicken or beef for his own entree. You told yourself that this was one of the last things you had to have a huge input in. But it stressed you even more to think about the cake tastings coming up next week- no! Focus, on the seating chart!

Johnny walked through the door and stopped before he greeted you both to catch a very cute, candid picture of the two of you doing your planning. He smiled, the two of you were perfect for each other, he was just over to help and be an extra voice of reason. Mark, had told him that the seating chart was driving you both crazy and he’d appreciate if as best man, Johnny would step in and help a little.

He joined the two of you on the floor with your own respective hugs, before he got into helping you plan out seating arrangements. A few tables up front for your immediate families and any plus ones there, the next few tables for the wedding party and their guests. Then it got messy again with all the extended families and extra friends, and that was just people who had already RSVP’d.

“Bro I’m telling you she wouldn’t get along with him, I don’t want to hear her complain all day. She’ll find a way to put a damper on the day,” you whined.

“But dude, they’re like a match made in heaven. They have the same interests, same personalities-” Mark started.

“Think about it dude, do we really like those personalities? No, we don’t. So why would we want two of the same annoying people together to amplify that annoyingness?” You countered.

Johnny eyed you both with a confused look. He knew who you were both talking about, that wasn’t the problem. Maybe he was just overthinking it.

Eventually the two people got seated at the same table next to people who they might like, but would be more suitable. Then it came down to family drama tables. “Mark, dude come on! You know he can’t stand your aunt. Don’t you remember that time we invited them all over for dinner?” You asked.

“Bro, it’s been 5 years. Don’t you think they’d be over it by now?” Mark asked in reply.

“My uncle still talks about the guy that barely hit his bumper 10 years ago every time I see him. No, he’s not over it.”

“We have nowhere else to put her dude!”

“You guys are weird.” Johnny stated suddenly. You both looked in his direction with confused looks that asked for further explanation. “How is it that we’re sitting here planning the seating for your literal wedding and you’re calling each other dude and bro?”

“Are we not supposed to?” You trailed off, clearly confused.

“People who are in love typically call each other cute pet names like honey, love, or babe. Mark calls you the same thing he calls any other friend,” Johnny explained.

“Yeah but does any other friend have a ring like this? Am I marrying just any other friend? No, I’m not.” Mark stated with purpose.

“Dude,” you drawled out, looking at Mark with big eyes and pouting lips. A look that anyone would have assumed came from Mark passionately confessing his love. You pressed a loud kiss to Mark’s cheek, “I love you.”

“Dude,” Mark blushed, “I- uh I love you too.”

“You guys make me sick. Here, I figured this table out,” Johnny huffed pointing at the table of extended family members.

Your eyes wandered over the the names, thinking about how well they’d get along or if there would be any complaints to handle. You turned to Johnny with a smile, “Dude, you did such a good job!”

“Yeah bro, thanks. Why didn’t we think of this before?” Mark wondered out loud.

“Do you both see what I’m talking about, you shouldn’t be calling me the names you call each other. I don’t get you guys,” Johnny paused as he leaned back on the couch.

You held up a hand, “John, if you keep complaining I won’t order the pizza you were promised and you won’t come to the cake tasting.”

His eyes widened as he mimed a zipper over his lips. Mark threw his head back with a laugh, “That’s my fiancée!”

+BONUS

yourusername

Liked by johnny.jpg, leemark, jjaehyun, and 119 others

yourusername someone is trying to hide to avoid wedding duties smh

leemark not hiding… just wondered what our curtains looked like from the other side

johnny.jpg no you were definitely hiding dude

leemark no pizza for you dude

lee_donghyuck not too late to leave him and pick me😘❤️

leemark not happening

yourusername what can you offer me instead?

lee_donghyuck we can eat ice cream together

leemark bro???

yourusername deal

leemark BRO?!!!

ttyonglee have fun love birds🤍

jungwookim when is cake testing again?

yourusername next friday! I’ll text you the details🫶

-

(a/n: if you’re looking at the ig post on desktop and it’s stacked I’m so sorry idk why desktop hates me)

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA if I asked my mom to stop keto-fying recipes?

this is either gonna be a complete non-issue or get people mad at me, i can tell lmao. unfortunately this has been bugging me for weeks. :D

To be clear, I'm almost 25, but I and my adult/teenage siblings still live with my parents bc the economy is ass. Also, Mom hasn't been doing it to every recipe…yet…but the ones she has changed have been recipes where a carbohydrate is an important part of the main meal.

For instance, replacing the potatos in a beef-carrot-potato stew with a rutabaga.

Mom's been on a modified keto diet for a while now, and while Dad is the only one intentionally doing it with her, the rest of us are aware of her diet and are generally chill about it. For a while, we would have nights where the parents would have Thing A, which was diet-compliant, and the rest of us would have Thing B, which was not. Those of us who are not dieting are all old enough to make things for ourselves, by the way, and that's usually what happens. For most of these "split meals," one parent usually doesn't wind up cooking two meals, one of which they can't even eat.

The stew is usually a "split" meal that gets made by one person who does most of the prep just by virtue of knowing the recipe, then one person who peels and chops the potatoes, and then one who wrangles the peeling and chopping of the rutabaga. The rutabaga then gets combined with a proportionate amount of The Rest, and those of us who aren't dieting are welcome to taste-test it. I've tried it, and the rutabaga's okay, I guess, but quite a bit too sweet and non-safe-food-y for me in the context of the stew, especially when I'm so used to potatoes. Wrangling the rutabaga is a bit more fun than eating it.

…except the most recent time we had the stew, Mom and Dad made an executive decision and just made a full-family pot of rutabaga stew without really seeing if everyone else was on board with it. Two of my siblings seemed fine with it, one is an enigma on a good day so I don't even know how they felt about it, and I hated it. I didn't get the chance to say so, however, between everyone else complimenting the altered stew and the conversation quickly switching to something else.

Unfortunately, our parents have decided that we will be making the stew with rutabagas only going forward.

Not "the family has decided."

The parents have decided. For adults and a teenager. Not for little kids.

Since then, in other conversations where recipes come up, such as conversations about the teenager's recent baking kick, Mom has been mentioning keto versions of whatever's being talked about in the nonspecific way that I'm pretty sure is her hinting/telling us that we should make it. In the context of teen baking, a keto chocolate cake, or keto cookies.

Look, I'm not here to debate the worth of a diet or lack thereof. I have plenty of those opinions and I'm not going to change them or let them distract from the core of the matter: when any of us are making food for the others, why are we letting two people's diets dictate what the rest of us should eat? If we're making something specifically to align with the keto diet, then that's a parent snack/meal. If we're not, it's a "kids" snack/meal. It should be as simple as that. Why make a full-family-sized meal if it's going to be pushing low/no carbs onto people who, historically, have not wanted to or needed to drop carbs? (It's me, I'm people. I know, I'm not really subtle, am I?)

I'm considering, the next time the stew comes up as a dinner plan, asking what a single-sized portion of the potatoes would be and just making it for myself. Given I have the spoons to do so that night, anyway. However, I really don't want to insult Mom's family recipe (which…she's already altered…and I would be reverting to its previous state…) or her cooking skills (which haven't lessened, even if I personally think her ingredient choices are a bit lacking lately).

What are these acronyms?

[firstkanaphans]

Fam how do we feel about The Heart Killers?

Oh, I am thrilled. Especially looking at what our options were. The Heart Killers was my second favorite plot of the night after The Ex Morning and FirstKhaotung only have to share the screen with one other couple (who I also adore) rather than, like, twenty—or whatever’s going on over there with The Perfect 10 Liners.

Personally, the assassin plot is probably going to give me anxiety just like all of the drama in Only Friends did, but since this is a romcom, I at least know I’m guaranteed a happy ending.

Some of my favorite parts from the trailer:

Bison and Fadel canonically killing “businessmen and politicians”

First back in his Yok era with the tank tops and the flirting

JoongDunk finally getting a decent script

P’Jojo not bothering to pretend like Dunk is smaller than Joong when that man is a beef cake

FK pointing guns at each other and then kissing!!! What in the Kinnporsche?!

So, yeah, you could say I’m excited. I have pretty famously gone on record stating that JD are the best kissers at GMMTV and I believe FK have the best chemistry, so we’re in for a good time. Plus, FK act like a married couple off screen and JD act like college roommates who fuck sometimes, so the fan service will be fan servicing and I, for one, am grateful.

Plus, this gives me an excuse to rewatch 10 Things I Hate About You. And possibly turn it into a fanfic before we get the actual show. Because that’s how I roll.

[daisies-daydreams]

Hii live for your ao3 series it gives me life.. could I request a Köing x reader - where the reader spends a while making dinner for her and Köing, when they finally sit down to eat, she gets insecure about eating. you can pick the food. Thank you!! Xx (This is my first time requesting so sorry if it doesn’t make sense)

Always (König x F!Reader)

Image by 661ave

Pairing: König x F!Reader Category: Fluff, Hurt/Comfort Warnings: Depictions of Anorexia/Body Insecurity, Slightly (like barely) Suggestive Comments, Emotionally Vulnerable Moment Word Count: 1.9k+

A/N: Hello there! Thank you so much for your request. I hope it's alright that I based the story off of my personal experience with body insecurity and trouble with eating. Regardless, I hope you're able to find comfort in König's sweet actions. 🫶

MINORS/AGELESS BLOGS DNI

You hummed and swayed side to side as you stirred the thick beef stew bubbling in the pot. You've been in the kitchen for quite some time, having made the stew and biscuits from scratch. Flour and bits of miscellaneous ingredients were scattered along the floor and countertops, some even caked on your cheeks. Your mouth watered at the savory scent wafting up from the soup below.

"It's too many calories-you don't want to have to weigh yourself again, do you?" the voice inside your head hissed. You shook your head and tried to refocus on the task at hand. Snowflakes danced just outside your kitchen window as you tapped the spoon on the side of the silver pot a few times.

The oven timer beeped several times, its screech echoing inside the kitchen. You smiled as you wiped your hands on your blue apron and grabbed the oven mitts.

"You put too much butter on those biscuits-better only eat half of one tonight," the voice advised. You bit the inside of your cheek as you pulled the pan out, the biscuits fluffy and finished with a crispy, golden top. You sighed as you set it down on a mat resting on the marble counter.

You perked your head up as you heard the sound of keys jingling outside the front door. You quickly flicked the burner off and straightened your clothes and hair. A gust of frigid wind rushed into the foyer as your hulking husband stomped his snowy boots on the mat. 

“Maus?” he called in as he slammed the large oak door behind him. 

“In the kitchen!” you called as you tucked your apron into the wooden cabinet nearby. König grunted as he unwrapped his thick scarf from around his neck and hung his coat on his hook. He shucked his boots off and set them aside before strolling towards you.

“How was work today?” you asked as he lumbered into the kitchen, his heavy footsteps echoing against the hardwood floor. Your smile grew as his ivory face came into view; his bright blue eyes gazing into yours as his ginger hair remained tousled from his thick winter hat. 

“It was alright. Mostly paperwork,” König shrugged as he slipped his hands into yours. You giggled as he spun you around and pulled you against his broad chest. You sighed and rested your chin on his pecs while swaying with him for a bit. “Hi,” he said softly. You pulled back and beamed as you craned your neck up.

“Hi,” you replied. The two of you held each other close as you reached up on your tiptoes. König grunted as you caught his chilly lips in a sweet kiss, your mouth lingering for what felt like hours before he tilted his head up. 

“I missed you today, Mein schöner Hase,” your husband sighed as he brushed his thumb over your cheek [My beautiful rabbit]. Your eyes sparkled as he kissed your forehead, his massive hand splayed against the small of your back. König inhaled deeply before his stomach gurgled. He chuckled and patted his toned belly. 

“You’re in for a treat tonight,” you winked as you led him over to the stove. König’s sapphire eyes lit up when he looked at the stew simmering in the pot. 

“Ah, biscuits and beef stew,” he said as he excitedly rubbed his hands together. "You really do know how to spoil me, Maus," your beloved beamed. You giggled as he pecked your temple before eagerly grabbing two bowls.

"Go ahead and grab your seat. I'll bring you a bowl," he said as he began to scoop some of the steaming food into the ladle. Your smile tensed as you clenched your jaw. There was no way you'd be able to measure out your portion sizes if he brought it to you. You took a deep breath.

"Okay," you murmured in slight defeat. You held onto your stomach as you shuffled over to the table. You pinched and squished whatever flesh was there as you nervously bit your lip.

"Not enough," the voice spat. König cleared his throat. 

"Ah, the Baumgartner's invited us to their place for dinner on Saturday. Would you like to go?" he asked as he plucked a fresh biscuit from the pan. You smiled nervously as you thought about all the food your neighbor's would make.

"Sure," you replied. "I can make my chocolate cake," you added. Your husband groaned as he turned around with the two bowls in his hands.

"Ah, I can taste it already," he licked his lips. You giggled at his antics while he took his seat across from you. “Something wrong, mein Schatz?” he asked as you shifted in your chair. You clenched your clammy hands and swallowed thickly. 

“No. Everything's fine,” you replied. König kept his eyes trained on you before setting one of the bowls on your mat. You curled your hands in your lap as he said thanks before diving in. You stirred your spoon in the thick stew, pushing the different vegetables and chunks of meat side to side.

"I was thinking that maybe after we eat and clean up, we could do a little...catching up in front of the fireplace?" König lilted as he gently brushed his foot over yours. You blushed and squeaked at his suggestion.

"G-Großer Bär," you bit your lip and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear [Big Bear]. Your husband laughed heartily.

"We don't have to. I just missed seeing you all flustered," he winked playfully. You smiled politely before your thoughts were quickly pulled back to the piping hot meal in front of you. You squinted your eyes in concentration.

Alright, it looks like he poured in two cups of beef stew into my bowl. The average calorie amount of one cup is around 235, so two cups would be 470 calories. The whole biscuit (with extra butter) is potentially 150 to 160 calories. That would total to about...630 calories.

You nearly gagged at the amount of calories despite the fact your stomach was painfully clenching on barely anything inside of it.

No matter, there has to be "safe" foods in here. Let's see...celery. Four stalks is 30, so that'll be good. Potatoes? No, too much starch. Starch includes sugar and sugar is dangerous. But then again, starch is a complex carbohydrate, so-

“The stew is wonderful, Liebling,” König cleared his throat [darling]. You snapped your head up to see a gentle smile on his face.

"Huh? Oh, thank you," you said before going back to pensively staring at your meal. Your husband’s spoon clanked against the side of his nearly empty bowl as he wiped his mouth with a napkin.

“(Y/N)...are you feeling alright? You haven't touched your stew at all,” he asked with knitted brows. You glanced up, letting your gaze fall on his mouth instead of his eyes. You frowned, eyes stinging with tears as a lump swelled in your throat. 

“I…” you paused and bit your lip. König waited patiently as you fought for the right words to say. You took a deep breath as you gazed at the surface of your wooden table, fear gnawing at your heart. “I…I can’t eat it,” you muttered. Your love leaned forward and furrowed his brows even more. 

“Can’t eat what?” he asked, a sense of urgency laced in his raspy voice. You felt your throat tighten. You were so hungry it ached you to the core, your body wracked with an unbearable urge from only eating a few crackers and a protein shake today. You felt your stomach flip as you shivered beneath your husband's gaze. 

“I can’t eat the stew,” you said a bit louder, the tips of your ears burning as you felt like a child about to be scorned. König blinked.

“Why-“ 

“I just can’t,” you interrupted. König’s face hardened as you stiffened in your seat. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt you," you said.

“It's okay," he assured you. There was a brief pause between the two of you, the only sound in the room coming from the crackling fireplace nearby. "Hase, please tell me what’s going on. I've seen the way you push your food around many times,” he said. "I don't think I've even seen you finish a meal in a while," König frowned. A blade pierced your heart as you sucked in a sharp breath, your heartbeat pounding inside your ears while your hand shook in his grasp. You sighed and hung your head. 

“I just…I can’t. I’m sorry,” you said. König waited, the fire popping in the background as you clenched your jaw. “You wouldn’t understand,” you muttered. You flinched as your beloved slowly stood up from his seat. He lumbered over to the chair next to you and gently wrapped his arm around you.

“Maybe not, but it won't stop me from wanting to help you,” he said with a firm nod. You tilted your head up, eyes wide and lips parted. 

“What?” you whispered. König squeezed your shoulder as he patted his lap with his other hand. You frowned as you climbed onto his thick thighs, your smaller frame fitting snugly in his lap.

“We've been through a lot together, (Y/N). Whatever you have to say won’t scare me or make me love you any less,” he reassured you before kissing your temple. Large tears spilled down your cheeks as your bottom lip trembled. You sniffed and wiped your eyes as your chest tightened. You flung your arms around your husband's torso and pulled him closer. He cooed and rubbed your upper back as you soaked his navy blue shirt with your hot tears.

“I-I’ve been struggling with making sure I eat enough,” you confessed. König continued to caress your back as he leaned in closer. You just barely glanced up before a bitter taste coated your tongue. “It started a few months ago. There really wasn’t anything specific that set it off, just a bunch of little things that snowballed. It...It all seems like a blur now,” you muttered, your body feeling unbearably heavy under your beloved’s gaze. You released a long sigh. “I’m so, so sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. I understand if you’re angry since I kept this from you. I-“ you gasped as König squeezed you in his hulking arms, pressing your cold form against his warm, massive body. 

“Oh, mein Schatz. I could never be angry with you,” he whispered before wiping a hot tear that trailed down your flushed cheek. You sniffed he cradled his hand against your face. "You are so, so precious, (Y/N). It breaks my heart to see you go through this, but I'm not angry or disappointed in you at all," your husband affirmed. His icy blue eyes were filled with such warmth, you thought your heart would melt right then and there. You kept your arms wrapped around your husband’s large form as you continued to sob into the soft fabric of his long-sleeved shirt. König brushed his fingers through your hair as he rocked you in his arms. 

“Shh, it’ll be alright, (Y/N). Mein Liebling,” he whispered as you cried into his chest [my darling]. He kissed the crown of your head, the sound of his steady heartbeat bringing a little comfort to your aching mind and body.

“I’ll be right here for you. Always,” König murmured softly.

————

Thank you for reading! ❤️

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[copperbadge]

Hey Sam. If you're so inclined, could you recommend a few 'must eat' places in Downtown Chicago? My hotel will be near the Red Line (Grand station) and I'm fine walking a good 10 minutes for awesome food. I'm planning my trip and trying to put together a few food places for lunch and dinner and such. Pizza, burgers, bbq, donuts, steak, sushi..., I'm flexible!

You know, honestly, I don't eat out much anymore so I'm not sure where the best places to get a bite are. I'm going to make some recommendations but they're about to be a mixture of "If you come to Chicago this is somewhere everyone goes" and "This is somewhere Sam personally likes to eat but which you may not go for." :D

So, if you're at Grand, you are pretty much on top of the Weber Kettle Grill. Weber Kettle Grill does GREAT grill food and my parents always want to eat there when they come into town. If you ask to sit at the chef's table, you'll be seated at what looks like a bar, but it also looks all the way down the row of giant indoor grills the chefs use to cook the food. If you want something quieter and less busy they also have a fairly large dining room.

If you want a real Chicago experience, there's a Portillo's pretty close to you (that one's called "Portillo's & Barnelli's"); Portillo's is a local chain that does burgers, dogs, and crucially Italian Beef. Italian Beef is my go-to Chicago food for people who (like me) don't want to eat Deep Dish Pizza. It's a crusty roll filled with shredded braised beef; you can get it with sweet peppers, hot peppers, or no peppers (they might call it "giardinera" which is the local term for the pepper relish they use). If you get it "dipped", once the sandwich is made it's dunked in a flavorful jus before being wrapped up; if you don't like wet bread I'd skip this, but I love it. If you REALLY don't like wet bread, maybe get a Chicago Style hot dog instead. Portillo's is also famous for being The Place Where they make you a milkshake with an entire slice of chocolate cake in it. You can also just get a slice of cake, which is fantastic.

There's also an Al's Italian Beef near you if you want a more local experience. Locals absolutely can and will eat at Portillo's, the food's not better at Al's, it's just a bit more tourist-friendly than Al's tends to be.

If you want that true authentic Chicago deep dish experience (pie crust filled with cheese and then topped with sauce) Pizzeria Uno and Pizzeria Due are very close by; they vie for the dubious honor of having invented the deep dish pizza. I can't recommend it, but if you want it, hit one of those.

If you're not from the midwest and would like to sample a decent approximation of Detroit style deep dish (thick bready crust topped with cheese and then sauce) Jet's Pizza likely delivers to your hotel. I can't recommend going to a Jet's, many of them don't have anywhere to sit and eat, and for a pizza joint they're a bit costly, but it's very good pizza. My Detroit friends say it's a perfectly acceptable pie by their standards.

Volare Ristorante is a nearby hidden gem if you're in the mood for upscale Italian; I really like their pasta, but they are on the pricier end. If you're walking east on Grand to get there, you do have to go under Michigan, and you will likely fear that you will be stabbed and left for dead in this weird underground cavern, but I promise you, it's smelly but safe.

Goddess And The Baker and Beatrix are both good places to pick up breakfast. If you wish to glimpse Hell, the Starbucks Roastery at Michigan and Erie is one of the largest buxes in the country (possibly the world?) and is a FUCKING NIGHTMARE to navigate, but it's certainly an experience.

If you're venturing into the Loop, Russian Tea Time is a fun place to have afternoon tea and the a la carte food is also quite good; they're very close to the Art Institute. There's not much to eat if you're going to the museum campus, and my favorite Greek place closed down, but Minghin Cuisine is a good Chinese place (I've eaten there) and AO Hawaiian Hideout is supposedly some of the best Chinese in the city (I have not eaten there).

If you are craving Chinese, you can also catch the Red Line directly to the Chinatown stop and browse, I've never had a bad meal in Chinatown. When you get off the train, if you go north to the station exit with only stairs, you can exit, look left, and see the "new" Chinatown that's basically an outdoor mall; if you go south to the escalator exit, once you leave turn right and you'll see the big pagoda entrance to "old" Chinatown, which is more shops than restaurants. New Chinatown has some excellent bakeries, and also a Korean fried chicken place, Bonchon, that's extremely good. Usually when I take friends we go to Joy Yee which has a huge menu and also bubble tea.

As a final plug I'll list The Berghoff, which is in the loop (off the Jackson Red Line stop); it's pretty hefty German cuisine, all excellent food, and also is a top notch place to take anyone with gluten issues -- the owners have a kid with a gluten intolerance and the restaurant has an exceptional gluten-free menu with unusually strict protocols to prevent cross-contamination in the kitchen.

And if you want to get a little baked first, you are pretty close to Sunnyside dispensary, which is a very nice dispensary with super friendly people. If you take the Red Line to Roosevelt or are in the area, Grasshopper Club is less expensive, just as friendly, and Black-owned, and they've been my go-to for a couple of months now. At either one you can walk-in to speak to a budtender about what you'd like, or you can preorder online, but be aware that there are limitations on what out-of-staters can purchase. Having sampled most of the gummies out there, I'd recommend Mindy's (any flavor is good but the black cherry is my preferred). Do bring ID, you will be carded.

I hope you enjoy Chicago! If you have more questions feel free to hit me up here or at copperbadge@gmail.com if you'd like to have more of like, a dialogue :) Have fun and eat well!

[utilitycaster]

wait just realized that I owe one more "most egregiously mischaracterized character" answer still and like. the problem is I don't know if there's a character who isn't frequently egregiously mischaracterized but I will say Keyleth might take the cake specifically because on one side you have the violent hatred of her as a female character with cool abilities and on the other hand you have people who will not brook any criticism as backlash and so they erase anything interesting (self-righteousness, being naive and annoying, concerns about living a thousand years that go beyond lifespan angst in a romantic context to a sort of existential dread because she is like, 21) from her initial depiction, they do not know how to handle her anger and so you get the most "wow she's so complex, sometimes she gets angry, an emotion women don't have usually", and most importantly she serves as like, an extremely clear example of someone who is like I have deep and personal beef with the Raven Queen also I think killing her would be dumb as shit and that really does not make the dumb as shit crowd happy and also because of how hated Keyleth was and because now in C3 I think she is (appropriately!) being used, to an extent, as Matt's NPC mouthpiece of HEY YOU SHOULD TRUST THIS CHARACTER'S JUDGMENT people put words in her mouth so that they can pretend they do.

[heavyhitterheaux]

Not So Happy Birthday

AN: He should have known better

Synopsis: You have been spending a lot of time with Ace planning something for Jack and you wanted to get everything just right. Too bad everything blows up in your face.

Pairing: Jack Harlow x Reader

Requested by: a beautiful anon 💖

Appearances by: @nattinatalia and @hoodharlow 😘😘

Please Do Not Repost My Content Anywhere

It was 2 am and Jack was sleeping peacefully next to you. When you had heard his light snores,  you took advantage of that and were texting Ace to help you plan a surprise birthday party for your boyfriend of three months.

Jack had asked you to visit him on tour and you quickly agreed. You had that advantage seeing that you worked at your parent's company and could come and go as you pleased.

You were what people called a trust fund baby. You didn’t have to work, but you chose to, wanting to say that you earned something for yourself. 

You were introduced to Jack by Ace after the two of you had met and hooked up, but it didn't go anywhere. The two of you remained close and became really good friends and he got the bright idea of introducing you to Jack. When that happened, you could have sworn that your heart stopped when you saw these blue eyes.

Even though the relationship was still fairly new, you found yourself wanting to spend all your free time with him if both of your schedules allowed it. 

Your best friend Blanca was excited for you since she couldn't remember the last time she saw you so happy, but she also happened to have no problem threatening Jack and told him that if he hurt you to count his days. 

While your other best friend Jessica was just happy that you found something else to occupy your time with instead of just work.

The idea that you came up with for the party is that it would be Louisville themed so Jack could have a little taste of home while being on tour. You knew it did get hard sometimes, so you decided that you would do what you could in order for him to fill the void without actually being home. You had also planned to fly out his parents, grandparents, as well as Clay on your family’s private jet and everything would take place in one of the vacation houses that your parents owned.

The current conversation with Ace centered around what type of cake you thought he would want and the different foods to have. Urban, Quiiso, 2fo and Shloob were going to help you go and pick out a gift for him tomorrow. They were all in on the plan and the only other person you wanted to tell was Druski. Jack told you that he would be coming later in the week and you will fill him in on the details then. 

Ace- OPEN BAR!

You- Ace! My baby doesn’t drink! We all know this!

Ace- Okay, but I do! And I’m helping you plan this soooo once again, OPEN BAR!

You- Okay, okay! I’ll have the open bar, and I can ask our private chef if he can do the food, or should we get it catered from somewhere? Like this is more so an intimate setting with all of his closest family and friends

Ace- Get Morris Deli sandwiches

You- Ace, imma smack you. NO.

Ace- What in the world is your private chef going to cook? Spoiled ass smh

You- Hmm, I’m thinking of multiple options. Chicken, fish, beef, and then we have our vegetarian options so that everyone can have something to choose from that they like. And of course all of Jack’s favorites

Ace- His favorite is you

You- But I cannot be spread eagle on the dinner table 

Ace- Says who?!? Jack will only want to be around you anyway, ever since he laid his eyes on you it’s like we don’t exist

You- Stop being dramatic

Just then you felt Jack move closer to you and wrap his arms tighter around you and whisper in your ear.

“Mamas, why are you still up? You complained about wanting to go to sleep and you're steadily typing away on your phone. Put it down and go to sleep.”

“Okay, just one more thing that I have to do and then I will, I promise.”

“Baby, you stay overworking yourself and I thought I told you about that.”

“But!”

“I get it, you’re a perfectionist and when you want things done a certain way you do them yourself, but you have all day to do that. Come and cuddle with me please.”

How could you say no to that?

You- He’s awake so we shall continue this conversation later

Ace- And snails better not be on the menu either with your bougie ass

You- Imma order them from room service to you in the next city we go to

Ace- 😐😐😐😐

You put your phone on the charger as Jack kissed your shoulder and you then fell into a peaceful slumber.

It was around 6 am when you had also dragged Ace to wake up and go to the gym downstairs in the hotel with you.

As much as he put up a fight, he finally agreed and you let Jack sleep in.

“We only slept for four hours! I’m tired!” Ace whined as you began to warm up on the treadmill.

“Stop being a big baby! I have to use all of my free time to plan this so that he doesn’t find out. I want this to be special for him. He’s worked so hard and definitely deserves this.”

“Are you at least buying me breakfast after this?”

“Did you not hear anything I just said?! All you’re focused on is eating and going back to sleep.”

“Do you blame me?! Since no, you and your family are the types to wake up on Thanksgiving ad run a fucking 5K. Jack has no idea what he has gotten himself into. And quite frankly I don’t know either, but I WANT OUT!”

“Did I ever mention how dramatic you were? Now I have to go finalize the details for his cake and pick up one of the gifts that I got him today and Neelam knows the deal. Keep him distracted so that he doesn't suspect anything. If worse comes to worse, I went shopping and that really isn’t a lie… and… Ace you can lift heavier than that. That’s only five pounds.”

“I’m a beginner, do not shame me.”

“This isn’t Planet Fitness and you are not a beginner so I am shaming you. Get those 40s and stop playing around. The sooner we get done, the better.”

“Are you this hard on Jack when he works out with you?”

“The only working out with him that I’ve ever done is sex so no.”

“And I did not need to know that.”

“Well you asked.” You answered Ace while shrugging and going over to the bar to do squats.

When you and Ace had finished, the two of you went back upstairs to your rooms to get ready for the day and you walked in to see Jack looking like he just woke up and was rubbing his eyes.

“Baby, where’d you go?”

“Downstairs to the gym, I dragged Ace with me and now I’m going to shower and I promised him that I would buy him breakfast for waking him up so early. Just didn’t say when he was going to get the breakfast. Maybe he’ll get it next week from me.”

“Not you making the man work out and not feeding him. Your workouts be hard as hell and that’s the least you can do. I am never working out with you. The most work out you’ll get out of me is giving you this dick and that’s it.”

“You two are definitely friends because he complained the entire time too. My workouts are not that bad.”

“Baby, 2fo couldn’t walk for three days after he went to the gym with you, I’ll pass. But, you know we could always save water since I have to get ready too.” Jack answered you while wiggling his eyebrows.

All you did in response was peel off your workout bra and let it land on the floor and Jack’s eyes went wide quickly following you into the bathroom. 

Druski came a few days earlier than expected, and you hadn’t been able to get a chance to talk to him because he always happened to be around Jack.

You would try to pull him to the side tonight while Jack was performing to tell him the plan and explain what was happening, but it seemed as if he had been a little standoffish towards you since the other day. He saw you along with Ace having lunch in the city and kind of stood a little to the side so that the two of you wouldn’t notice him. The two of you had gotten hungry on your excursion of trying to find yet another gift for Jack so the two of you stopped to get food. Little did you know Druski had taken pictures and sent them to Jack. But that wasn’t all, this had happened every day since he had been there and noticed how if he saw Ace, that you weren’t far behind and the last thing he wanted was for one of his good friends to get hurt. 

Jack didn’t quite know how to feel when Druski told him and sent him the pictures.

He had told you about his trust issues and that his last relationship ended because he ended up getting cheated on.

But that wasn’t it.

He got cheated on and she got pregnant by the person that she cheated on him with.

So when Ace came to him and told him about you, he had his hesitations, but Ace insisted that Jack give you a chance and he finally agreed. 

He knew that the two of you had hooked up in the past, but Ace assured him that he had no feelings for you whatsoever and that the two of you were just friends.

Now if that were true, why were you all over the city with Ace and it was just the two of you? And every day?

When he sat down and thought about it, you had been blowing him off to spend time with Ace and now he knew what he had to do.

He wasn’t about to get hurt again, so he needed to end it before it got to that point.

You had gotten Jack a specialized necklace that had ‘KY’ on it and was making your way back to the hotel to put it away before tonight’s show. It came in handy to know multiple jewelers in different states as well as different countries. 

There were still about two weeks to go until the actual party, but everything was just about ready and set into place.

You were excited to be able to do this for your boyfriend and couldn’t wait to see the look on his face.

He had spoiled you early on in your relationship and you wanted to be able to return the favor. 

Once you reached your shared hotel room with Jack, you walked in to see your suitcases by the door and Jack sitting on the bed with a defeated look on his face. 

“Umm, did I miss something? Is everything okay?” You asked while trying to come closer to Jack, but he immediately got up and moved away from you.

“Baby, what’s wrong? Are you okay?” You asked while setting the bag down that contained his necklace on the nightstand.

“I should have known it was too good to be true, so you can take your shit and this plane ticket and go the fuck home. I don’t need to be cheated on again. And the fact that you did this knowing my trust issues? You got some fucking nerve.”

“First of all, what? And second of all, I would NEVER cheat on you.”

“Well that’s the same thing she said and she did and ended up getting pregnant in the process.”

“Jack, where is this coming from?!”

“It doesn’t matter, you got caught.”

“I didn’t get caught because I didn’t even do anything. You know how much I care about you!”

“Do I?” Jack asked and your breath hitched in your throat.

“I would never. I know how it feels too so why in the world would I do that to you?! You won't even tell me who I apparently cheated on you with!”

“It doesn’t even matter anymore. Here’s your ticket and I want you gone by the time I get back from my show.” Jack said while leaving it on the bed and slamming the door behind him.

You were at a loss for words and immediately started to cry.

Confused, hurt were just a few things that you were feeling and you just didn’t understand how the two of you had gotten to this point.

You looked down at the ticket to see that the flight was for 7 PM which was two hours from now and decided to catch an uber to the airport.

If he wanted you gone, he was going to get his wish.

And he better not come crawling back to you either once he realized what he did.  

Jack’s show was about to start and Ace was looking all over for you since he had a suggestion about the party and wanted to run it by you. He went to go ask Jack and when he went into his dressing room, he saw him with a pissed off look on his face and Druski not even acknowledging his presence.

“Where’s Y/N? Has anyone seen her?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Druski said and Ace looked at him confused.

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean? Jack, where is your girlfriend?”

“Ex-girlfriend and she should be on a plane going home by now 30,000 feet in the air.” 

Ace was immediately confused.

“What? Why? What happened?”

“You two happened, that’s what. I should have known that it was too good to be true talking about we only hooked up once, but we’re still friends and don’t have feelings for each other.”

“Because we fucking don’t! I’ve been trying to get at one of her best friends, Blanca! So where the fuck is this coming from? As much as she talks about you and how highly she talks about you, ain’t no way in hell she would cheat, especially with me!”

“Then what the fuck were yall doing all cozy and shit this entire week?” Druski asked and Ace immediately got quiet.

“Don’t get quiet now. I have the pictures to prove it.” Druski added while Jack was simply scrolling through his phone trying to not think about his girlfriend cheating on him with one of his best friends.

“Pictures to prove what exactly? Her planning a surprise party for him for his birthday in two weeks? Is that it? Because that’s what we’ve been doing and she’s actually been doing this for an entire fucking month.” 

“Wait, what?” Jack asked while putting his phone down and looking at Ace.

“Now you really thought I would hurt you like that and sleep with your girlfriend when all she asked for was my help because she wanted to do something special for you? All she does is talk about you.”

“Oh shit.” Druski muttered while looking back and forth between the two of them.

“Here, you can check my text messages to her to prove it.” Ace said while handing Jack his phone and he began scrolling to see that he was in fact telling the truth.

“You’re more of a dumbass than I thought and now you’ve probably lost her for good. She deserved better than you kicking her off tour and sending her home all because of a miscommunication and you probably didn’t even give her a chance to explain. And knowing Blanca, she is not going to let you anywhere near her because I know she’s going to tell her what you did. So congratulations, you just fucked up your relationship with a girl who would do absolutely anything for you. Oh, should I mention that the party was going to take place at one of her family’s vacation houses, with a private chef and she was flying in your parents, grandparents as well as Clay? You don’t deserve any of it for how you treated her.”

All Jack could do was sit there in utter disbelief.

“And Druski, the next time, I mean if there is one since you know Y/N is probably done with his ass and might be done with me too since I introduced them to each other, just fucking ask me.” Ace said before slamming Jack’s dressing room door behind him.

“I..” Druski started to say, but Jack immediately held up his hand to cut him off.

“You better come up with a good fucking plan in order for me to get my girlfriend back since all of this is your damn fault.” 

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[hotcheetohatredwastaken]

what do you think the chains favorite breakfast foods are (if they eat breakfast)

I WAS HALFWAY THROUGH ANSWERING THIS AND MY PHONE DIED AND DELETED EVERYTHING I HAD WRITTEN, DEATH AND SORROW AND DESPAIR.

Okay I'm good now.

ANYWAYS, I split you ask into two sections: first, their favorite food ever if they can get their hands on it, the second what they like to eat on the road. And then a final unhinged rant at the bottom about the one thing about teenage boys/young men and their food that I'll never understand: Bacon.

Legend--I have a feeling that he likes sweets. Specifically, waffles with whipped cream and berries. They're a little burnt, but Ravio made them for him, so he'll pretend he doesn't notice (and grows to like them better that way). On the road, he'll go for coffee/tea (he's not picky) if one of the others make it, or nothing at all.

Hyrule--does he have a favorite breakfast food? Food isn't very stable where he comes from--Legend and Wild would spoil him so much in regard of expanding his palate. But I imagine that something like a fried mixture of beef/sausage, vegetables, and a starch (perhaps an even poorer version of an already poor person food Shepherd's Pie, perhaps? it could be a breakfast food) would be a sort of filling, tasty, and easy to procure/make/preserve food that he'd like. On that note, I would say something simple, easy to get and preserve, and hardy would be his go to breakfast on the road--maybe meat jerky.

Wild--Also a sweets person. Fruit cake, cinnamon rolls, frosted cupcakes, basically all the little delicacies he could get at a dumb party 100 years ago, he ain't picky, it's for breakfast and it's fueling a day long sugar high. On the road he, unlike the other Links, can be pretty creative with his breakfasts, and he likes his spice as well. So, I think he'd like Meaty rice balls.

Four--direct this question to someone else please. He has four voices in his head fighting to answer right now, and none of them agree. I surely dont know if he doesn't.

Time--Pancakes and farm-fresh scrambled eggs and toast with jam. Malon makes it for him. What can I say. On the road he is a habitual coffee drinker, he wouldn't be functioning in the mornings without it. But he'll also take a poached egg if he has the time (heh).

Warrior--unlike Time who is a habitual coffee drinker, he is a coffee connoisseur. He likes the breakfasts they serve at the castle--a lot of meats and fruits, expensive, and on top of it all, well plated. Not to say that he can't eat simply--he was in a war, mind you--just that he prefers not to. On the road, he strikes me as the kind that would drink those tasteless quick oats (y'know you just add water, shake and go?) and also be very vocal about much time (heh) it's saving him (being none). I don't know what the Hyrule equivalent of those are.

Twilight--our favorite country boy. I think he likes a true southern breakfast. Ham and pan-fried potatoes and eggs over-easy, with a side of cheesy grits and sausage biscuits and gravy like Uli used to make for him (I HC this man has a black hole of a stomach, out of all the Links). On the road he'll inhale a boiled egg or two (salted and peppered if he's feeling fancy) that Wild made for him. I also head canon that Twilight likes tea with an intensity. And not only sweet tea, but like, ALL of the teas. He gets obsessive. I literally have in my detail/subplot tracking documents for BDOR the following entry underneath chapter 8--Tea: "Twilight’s cure to Wild’s voice is tea. His cure to life’s woes is tea."

Wind--whatever his grandma is making, probably with seafood involved. I've had a crab-spinach-egg casserole for breakfast before, it was good, so I'll give him that. On the road, I can see him packing a lot of bread and some meat (dried fish if he can get it).

Sky--This guy honestly has me stumped. Do those on Skyloft eat Loftwing eggs, or are they considered taboo? They have a lot of pumpkins around--do they incorporate them into their meals?@needfantasticstories you know a lot of Skyward Sword lore, bequeath me your wisdom. Anyways on the road he's a meat and bread person like Wind. Practical.

Now, for my rant about young men and their food quirks:

Bacon. Bacon, as I have witnessed, drives the most reasonable of men insane.

I just a few things to say about this. I have younger brothers, and I born witness to many male sleepover parties. I--as the resident nasty fe-male XD--have been (forced) to cook for them in the mornings. Set a pile of bacon in front of them (or really any meat, but I have found that bacon has the strongest affect) and they turn into WOLVES. They start to crowd around and stare as soon as they begin to smell it (which hey, give me space in the kitchen, please!), snatch it up before the grease even cools, and then retreat into their separate corners of the living room/kitchen and scarf it down, all while avoiding eye contact and projecting just how much they don't care about the bacon they're eating (perhaps so one of the others don't take notice and try to steal it). There's an odd little ritual/rules to the thing, too: for example, it's frowned upon to take more than three or four pieces at a time, there has to be enough for everyone, obviously; but if you finish a second and third serving before some poor sod stumbles in and gets himself a piece--why that is acceptable, even encouraged. But at all times, you could feel them watching each other, judging whether each person had taken acceptable amounts. 6 at once, I have determined, is veritably considered too much, as I have watched an entire group of mid-late teenage boys chase another through the house and outside for this crime of greed. Another thing was the presence of literally any other edible food. If there was anything else--eggs, fruit, even something like a few slices of unbuttered toast or coffee or juice sitting out, this reaction was largely tempered--even if none of the boys took the other foods, they would take a meager one or two pieces of bacon and be satisfied, perhaps reassured that other food was present and their hope of a filling breakfast was not in vain. Most, at that point they would restrain themselves from eating anything (other than their bacon tax) and wait so that everyone could eat together. But the mad scramble that occurs when there is bacon and only bacon in the kitchen (even if other things are cooking, nearly done, and visible to them) is otherworldly.

I never saw it with anything else, not eggs, not fruit, not even sausage or any other breakfast food. And it must be noted that I was exempt from their little ritual of judgement--perhaps as the only woman, or perhaps as the cook, I was allowed to take as much bacon as I liked from the pile, once the initial wave had attacked and retreated with their bounty (and the strips of bacon had cooled enough that mortal human hands such as my own could pick them up). And while they behaved like beasts, I was always very politely thanked for making breakfast once it was over and the frenzy had abated.

Anyways, your ask got me thinking about Malon making a pile of bacon for the boys, activating the beforehand undiscovered "PANIC! BACON!" mode in their brains, and just being utterly confused as they turn into animals. Just the boys descend, and then a few shouts of "Thanks, Malon!" drift in on the wind as they scatter like racoons with treasure, leaving an empty plate spinning behind them.

[spirit-mail]

Aizawa HCs [?]

I'm really just ramblin here tbh 🫶 sorta unfinished???

___×× follow n request stuff so i can write more ♡

Aizawa being an absolute beef cake and nobody being able to tell 'cause of how oversized his clothes are.. When he crosses his arms or reaches up to grab something and his biceps just.. y'know. You can't help but imagine how they'd feel around you, pinning you down, hoisting you up– all of it.

It's even better when you're both home on an (extra) hot day, and he's wearing possibly the tightest white t-shirt in existence (you bought it for him.). Or if he's working out in a weirdly small tank top (again, you bought it for him and he didn't have the heart to tell you that you got the wrong size (you didnt.)).

Imagine next-door neighbor Shota? He doesn't even bother talking to you at first- not at all, but being the social person you are you made him cookies and bought them straight to his door.

I mean, he wasn't just gonna deny them– not with the way you stood at his door, nervously biting your nail while you waited for him to open it. After that Sho' just couldn't get you off his mind. He left around the same time as you, and coincidentally also came home at the same time, so you saw each other often. Sometimes he caught himself watching you through his windows, pacing around your room, sleeping, showering– clearly you needed to have some blinds installed.

One day you had asked him if he could unclog your gutters after a storm. See, you were a first time home-owner, and you weren't sure where to even start– so how could he say no? All young 'n dumb, you just needed some help!

He came over the next day around noon, the blistering sun shining directly overhead. He didn't care, but you did. Constantly checking on him and bringing him a glass of water every thirty minutes or so. He ended up taking his shirt off halfway through, all sweaty and upset, brows furrowed as he emptied the leaves out into a bag– maybe he should empty himself out into you when he's done—××