#i have to hide my own food that i bought with my own money bc other fucking people in this fucking house eat it

[disneyanddisneyships]

@gyubby99

Alastor x OC

Warnings: violence and mentions of hell. Other Other that, just fluff bc I know Julia deserves it.

Helpless

Aponi stood in front of the small closet filled with only one or two dresses fit for the party that Charlie had planned for all the residents of the hotel.

Her favorite color was purple, which sometimes worked out well, but not in this case since her only formal purple dress had been ruined in drycleaning.

Aponi knew she shouldn't have trusted the sinner who ran it. He did nothing to hide the sleazy poker room in the back which stunk of alcohol and old man.

She huffed as she sat on the carpeted floor with a huff, her cat coming up to snuggle next to her.

"Hey, Lills can I use your makeup?" Mal asked as she burst into the room through the shared bathroom that the girls had. "The hell is wrong with you?" She asked.

"I can't find a dress," Aponi replied, her head resting on her knuckles.

"This is why I only wear dresses to shit that actually matters," Mal replied, gesturing to her emerald colored suit.

Aponi rolled her eyes. "You know I like dresses better, M," Aponi huffed.

Mal pursed her lips before walking back into her own room, coming back with a box.

"Was gonna save it for christmas or somethin but... here," she stated as she handed the dress to Aponi.

With a raised eyebrow, Aponi opened the box to reveal a pretty long lavender colored dress with a slit all the way up to the upper thigh.

"Holy shit Mal. How fid you afford this?" Aponi asked as she stood up and held the dress against her frame, looking at herself in the mirror.

Mal shrugged.

"Lotta threats," she replied. "Put it on, I'll be waiting outside of my room in the hallway," she stated before turning and closing the door to give Aponi some privacy.

Mal scrolled through her phone, attempting to pass the time as she waited for her best friend.

She glanced up haphazardly when she heard the door creek open, only to do a double take as she took in her best friend in the dress she had bought for her.

"Holy fuck. You look hot," Mal stated before shutting her mouth closed.

The dress framed Aponi's hourglass figure beautifully, almost having her breasts pop out from the low cleavage of the dress.

And don't event get Mal started on how the slit in the dress came up so high that if Aponi were to sit the wrong way, a person could see the underwear underneath (that aponi decided not to wear tonight)

Aponi chuckled with a soft smile.

"Thanks girlie. Cmon, let's go. Charlie said there was free food," Aponi stated with excitement, taking Mal's hand and guiding her to the lobby of the hotel.

Ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh (hey, hey, hey) I do, I do, I do, I do (hey, hey, hey) Hey (hey, hey) Ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh (hey, hey, hey) I do, I do, I do, I do (hey, hey, hey, hey) Boy, you got me helpless Look into your eyes, and the sky's the limit I'm helpless Down for the count, and I'm drownin' in 'em

The hotel Lobby was bustling with party goers as they all drank, ate, and had fun.

A few of the men stopped what they were doing to ogle at both Aponi and Mal who walked down the stairs, talking to each other.

Mal sighed dreamily as she looked into Aponi's yellow eyes. She was basically Drowning.

I have never been the type to try and grab the spotlight We were at a revel with some rebels on a hot night Laughin' at my sister as she's dazzling the room Then you walked in, and my heart went "boom"

Aponi nodded nervously as Mal went to make small talk with a few people she said had owed her money.

Aponi stood to the side of the room, not really sure who to interact with before turning to spot Mal in hopes she'd come back.

Only to snort at the way Mal had a sinner demon in a headlock.

Aponi's eyes glanced over the crowd before landing on the now opening front door, revealing the radio demon himself.

Aponi's eyes widened and her heart stopped as she saw him.

It's not like she hasn't met him before... I mean... he had been funding the hotel for a year now. But.... damn did he clean up nice for being a resident and overlord of Hell.

Tryin' to catch your eye from the side of the ballroom Everybody's dancin' and the band's top volume Grind to the rhythm as we wine and dine Grab my sister and whisper, "Yo, this one's mine"

Aponi looked away as she noticed how his eyes briefly landed on her, but when she looked back up, he moved to talk with Charlie and vaggie.

The music was almost too loud to bear as everyone danced.

Aponi only calmed down from it when she felt a soft hand belonging to Mal touch her arm.

"Hey um... Mal.... could you talk to Alastor for me? Or... I dunno..... something," aponi pleaded as she looked at him helplessly.

Mal glanced over to the radio demon....

Lucky guy....

My sister made her way across the room to you (ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh) And I got nervous, thinking, "What's she gonna do" (ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh) She grabs you by the arm, I'm thinking "I'm through" (ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh) Then you look back at me, and suddenly I'm helpless

Mal took a deep breath and walked over to the Radio demon without saying a word.

Shit... aponi did not think this through.... of course he'd be more enamored by Mal than her! Mal was beautiful, violent, charming, cunning-

Her thoughts stopped being thought of when Alastor glanced at Aponi.

Shit.....

Those eyes definitely made her feel helpless.

Oh, look at those eyes, oh (look into your eyes, and the sky's the limit) I'm helpless, I know (down for the count and I'm drowning in 'em) I am so into you (Look into your eyes and the sky's the limit) I am so into you, I'm helpless (I know) I'm down for the count, and I'm drowning in 'em

Aponi walked over to the drinks, pouring herself a glass of water to cool herself off.

Was she really this whipped older a guy?

Where are you taking me? I'm about to change your life Then by all means, lead the way

"Where may I ask are you leading me?" Alastor asked as he walked next to Mal.

Mal rolled her eyes, jealous of the radio demon before speaking up.

"I'm about to change your death," she smirked as she lead him to where she saw Aponi walk to.

"Alright then! By all means, my dear, lead the way!" Alastor smiled happily.

Mal sighed as she led him right up to the woman she had been in love with since elementary school.

Elizabeth Schuyler, it's a pleasure to meet you Schuyler? My sister Thank you for all your service If it takes fighting a war for us to meet, it will have been worth it I'll leave you to it

"Ah! The famous Aponi Wings!" Alastor exclaimed with a wide smile as he took her hand, kissing her knuckles.

"Yep. My best friend...." Mal stated, a pained expression on her face.

"Alastor! A pleasure as always, I assume?" Aponi smiled. "Thanks for helping put together the party! It looks wonderful!" Aponi stated.

"Ah yes. It was practically a war, trying to help these buffoons hang up a banner. But... if it takes fighting a war to see you again, it was worth it!" Alastor replied.

That was fucking smooth.... Mal thought to herself before speaking up.

"I'll leave you to it!" She smiled before walking away, trying not to cry.

One week later, I'm writin' a letter nightly Now my life gets better every letter that you write me Laughin' at my sister 'cause she wants to form a harem I'm just sayin', if you really loved me, you would share him (ha!)

A week after the party aponi bites her lip as she reads the letters Alastor had been sending her.

My dearest, Lilly

I cannot wait to see you next week, it has been a pleasure getting to know you better! My dear, you are the light in this darkness and I can only hope to be in your death forever.

Aponi sighed dreamily.

"Oh cmon! If he was really THAT much of a gentleman, he'd let me have a taste of you too!" Mal exclaimed.

Aponi giggled.

"Mal, cmon! Dont make those jokes I'm gonna laugh too hard!" Aponi exclaimed.

Mal's smile faded a but before before remembered to keep it up.

Two weeks later, in the living room stressin' My father's stone-faced while you ask him for his blessin' I'm dying inside as you wine and dine And I'm tryin' not to cry, 'cause there's nothing that your mind can't do (ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh)

Mal sighed as she sat on the couch in front of alastor.

"What do you need?" She asked.

"Well, given that you're Lilly's closest friend and only family who has any sort of 'authority' over her.. I had a question to ask," Alastor stated with a nervous smile.

Mal raised an eyebrow.

"May I marry her?" Alastor asked.

"You're asking me, the best friend of a deat 19 year old if she can marry you, a dead 30 something?" Mal asked in return.

"yes?" Alastor stated.

My father makes his way across the room to you (ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh) I panic for a second, thinking we're through (ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh) But then he shakes your hand and says, "Be true" (ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh) And you turn back to me smiling

Mal's heart broke at his words when he asked....

she wanted to scream "NO. YOU CANT MARRY THE LOVE OF MY LIFE YOU ASSHOLE!" but.. she knew it wouldn't bode well not only for herself, but for aponi.

Mal walked up to him, shaking his hand.

"Be true,"

It was all she said before walking away, tears threatening to spill from her eyes.

........

Alastor knocked on the door of his Lilly's apartment.

"Oh, Hey honey," Aponi stated as she moved to the side to let her boyfriend into her apartment.

A few minutes were dedicated to Alastor ranting on and on about "fate", and "parties", and really anything that could both relate to the topic he was about to bring up, and procrastinate what he was about to ask.

"Alastor what are you saying?" Aponi asked, scared that he was about to break things off with her.

Only for him to get down on one knee.

"Marry me, Darling," Alastor stated. Ot even a question.

Not that ut had to be.

"Yes!" Aponi exclaimed as she jumped into his arms and hugged him.

Eliza, I don't have a dollar to my name An acre of land, a troop to command, a dollop of fame All I have is my honor, a tolerance for pain A couple of college credits and my top-notch brain Insane, your family brings out a different side of me Peggy confides in me Angelica tried to take a bite of me No stress, my love for you was never in doubt We'll get a little place in Harlem and we'll figure it outI've been livin' without a family since I was a child My father left, my mother died, I grew up buckwild But I'll never forget my mother's face, that was real As long as I'm alive, Eliza, swear to god you'll never feel so

"Darling, down here I barely have anything as wonderful as this.. as us... all I have is my honor, a love and tolerance for pain, and a wonderful mind!" He boated.

Aponi rolled her eyes as he put the ring onto her finger before taking her hands and looking into her eyes.

"You and your friends bring out a different side of me... Angel confides in me.. although I'm fairly sure Mal is in love with you... but don't stress about that. My love for you will never be I doubt! I have a little place where we can go and figure things out!" He exclaimed.

Aponi chuckled.

."I've been living without a family since I died.. my father abused my mother and I and left.. NY mother died just a few years after that. But I'll never forget my mother's face, it was real. As long as you have faith in my Lilly, I promise I will never make you feel so helpless," Alastor finished his speech before kissing Aponi.

I do, I do, I do, I do Eliza, I do, I do, I do, I do (helpless) I never felt so (helpless) Yeah, yeah Down for the count and I'm drownin' in 'em (I'm down for a count and I'm...) Yo, my live is gon' be fine 'cause Eliza's in it (helpless) I look into your eyes, and the sky's the limit, I'm (helpless) Down for the count, and I'm drownin' in 'em In New York, you can be a new man In New York, you can be a new man In New York, you can be a new man (helpless)

"I do," Aponi smiled as she stood at the makeshift altar at the hotel.

"I do," alastor stated in return.

"I now pronounce you Husband and wife! You may kiss!" Charlie's father, lucifer himself spoke out as he closed the book.

Aponi looked into alastor's eyes before pulling him into a deep, joyful, innocent kiss, filled with love.

[honking-up-a-storm]

6/23/23

Using this page to start off the day cuz idc that there's some doodles already on it. I think it's gonna be another slow day, 4 handicap spots are open, more open past the entrance, and the main lot is very empty. It could fill up who knows, but my hopes aren't very high. Funny how active online I was in 16'-17', maybe it's because that's when a lot of current websites came out that have a clear record. Ungh, I want to do something where is everyone? I guess I can get some reading done today. As long as my feet hold up I guess. I knew there would be slow days, but slow and standing in one spot is killing me. Oh! I bought the book so I can properly do this, it should be coming in 5-14 days, though the seller is in state so it should be quick enough. One car, not gonna touch it since it has the handicap adapter on it, I could drive it but I don't wanna adjust the settings. I think this writing is good for a least cracking a dent in this book. Had a very deep dream where things were okay again, makes no sense. If it's a premonition, I don't want it. Could try reaching out to her though. I feel bad and I miss her. Taking the easy way out isn't cute. There's totally shit going through my head right now that's too fast to write FFS. It's cuz I'm thinking about IT, which is annoying. I've exhausted all thoughts on the subject, made my conclusions, pretty much moved on less than a week later due to good timing on the new circles. I guess I'm frustrated with my exit. I had more time than I thought. I guess it's only natural to have wanted things to go your way. It just sucks cuz I wasn't attached to those thoughts and words anymore and the grief I have for them is still very potent no matter how much I try to hide and deny It. I find it odd too that I didn't feel sad after, I thought over the scenario so many times that I was sure I'd just fall apart, but I didn't and don't feel sorry for myself cuz I was a full-on bitch who deserved it. The frustration and grief are what linger. And I think grief is the appropriate word bc jesus christ I loved them, I loved all of them and I don't know why I was that fucking monstrous (Well therapy helped find the route of that but still, tldr: Family source, took that kinda shit talking as a normal way to vent and be done with it bc worse shit has gone around the house and yet everyone claims to love each other, should have never done it to my friends). And I'm frustrated because jesus christ even though I don't remember much of the exit I know I was just spewing bullshit and was pissed beyond hell that it was happening while I was not in a good spot mentally and physically. They probably think I threw myself into therapy because of the situation, but nah it's because for the first time in my life I let myself stand a little too close to the edge of the train platform and envisioned some things. But shit the only thing that stopped me was my own fear of death and that girl who got her leg torn off by the green line a few days prior. Anywho I'm glad I'm better, obviously not cured or perfect but much much better. My paranoia is gone, I'm less irritable, and life is just enjoyable again. It's kinda funny how I'm working a job where I was only in it for the money (financial issues strike again when the V work is said) but like I'm having like actual fun working, it's literally the perfect job for someone with ADHD, every day is different and I get to move a lot, interact with a lotta people. Also like I work with cars all day, I love driving. I'm in my pink era, I'm starting to love life again.

Notes:

A - Truman show/ Fleabagging, mirroring, mimicking, repeating, fixations, extremely picky with food, shutdown rather than lash out

M - Overstimulation, IFYKYK, sensory issues

N - Can drive, good balance

it feels like summer again

I am made up of so many things

Gift of the day from funny old dude regular: 3 Musketeers bar

"FTM" license plate is real

[brittbax]

😤

[uuujeewriting]

you can do it! [albedo, kaeya, childe, zhongli and diluc]

s/o has been going through a depressive episode and lacks motivation to finish their work and is getting anxiety because of it

tw: none, mentions of depression/anxiety, nothing too much. fluffy comfort <3

albedo x gn!reader, kaeya x gn!reader, childe x gn!reader, zhongli x gn!reader, diluc x gn!reader

a/n: self indulgent bc i'm way behind school and in the middle of a depressive episode so motivation's been lacking ;-; hope you guys are having a good week tho!

i would like to clarify that if any of these scenarios/hc's of mine are similar to other writers' works, it is unintentional and i apologize

albedo

oh? unmotivated you say.. self depricating thoughts? intrusive ones too?

albedo was never one to mope around when he was stuck on some problem he's yet to puzzle together, but seeing you exhausted, anxious and so... dull–he desperately wants to take all your worries away

he's a bit slow, failing to realize your depressive episode for a few days. as it prolongs, he notices how you seem to talk down to yourself and give up easily

sometimes, you don't even start work at all

this is due to your anxiety, he assumes as you think you're incapable of finishing or doing the work satisfactorily enough.

pulling you into an embrace from behind as you work on the projects you've been stuck on for the past few weeks, he gently whispers into your shoulder

"darling, have you been alright recently? are you in need of assistance?" he asks

he presses a loving kiss on your neck and you stifle a chuckle

"it's that apparent, no? i've been under the weather for quite a while now.."

as you explain your reasons and all your troubles to his end, he nods and hums ever so often

"you must be feeling drained, hm? well, frankly enough, i seem to need a break myself."

"eh? albedo where-!!”

he pulls you away from your working place and carries you to the couch, laying you down gently as he smiles at you

"aside from your unmotivated self, i reckon you need reassurance for those intrusive thoughts of yours."

and that, ladies, gentlemen and folks, is how you end up cuddling with albedo until the sun sets and you fall asleep

bask in the comfort of his words as he calls you his everything and more :')) <333

kaeya

my, oh my. what's gotten into his precious little love?

he's sharp, quite easily takes notice to your frantic and dim self.

he sees you sitting outside, head in your hands and sighs leaving your lips every now and then

unbeknownst to you, he creeps behind you and presses a careful peck on the nape of your neck, causing you to flinch and look back quickly

he was about to laugh at your cuteness, but as soon as he's reminded of your troubled state, he sits beside you and takes your face into his hands

sir we're in the plaza-

"oh archons, why is my sunshine so dim these days?" he pouts

rip u probably after this

"kaeya.. well, you see-"

and as you explain your current doubts and anxieties, he strokes your cheeks softly and looks into your eyes fondly

when you're finished, he nods and presses a light kiss on your forehead, a silent promise to accompany and help you on your endeavors to face your troubles

"i'll always be here for you, my love. if there's anything i can help you with, do not hesitate to come into my arms, hm?"

"noted, mr. suave"

jkjk o r a m i

he laughs and kisses you on the edge of your mouth

"what say you we head into the tavern for a bit? you could use some relaxation, right?"

as if you had a choice other than to say yes

childe

this man would know the second it started

having a bunch of siblings has its benefits huh

when he walks into your shared room and sees you on the edge, tears brimming your eyes he sits you down on your bed

"hey, hey.. i'm here, it's alright."

as you cry in his embrace, he rocks you gently, shushing you softly in an attempt to hinder your tears

"you can tell me if you're up for it, honey. i'm never too busy for you."

"i-it's just that-"

mhm. oh? why, how dare they treat you so harshly. really? why must you have to be burdened so heavily?

he acknowledges your struggles and worries with gentle strokes and brushing through your hair

"you have it really rough, don't you? ah well, nothing we can do but-"

"childe?"

he stands up and leaves the room for a second

he comes back with food, drinks, your favorite clothing of his, a scented candle you bought and some books you have yet to finish reading

the action warms your heart as you sniffle and smile at your lover

as soon as he lays down with you, prepare to never see daylight again as he won't let go for the longest, and i mean longest time ever

"i love you, y/n. you're strong and don't let anything, not even yourself, make you think otherwise."

zhongli

dearest, must life be so unfair to you? why you out of all people?

zhongli is wise–he knows something is bothering you when it does. that being said, he isn't sure whether or not he should approach you so directly

especially if it seems like a sensitive topic

instead, in your depressive state and anxious fiddling, he calls you over to him

he pulls you into his lap as he takes your face into his hand and kisses you tenderly

"my dear, has anything been bothering you? might i offer my hand in dealing with them?"

you'd think kaeya's mr. suave then this man pops up with his broke ass

"as a matter of fact.."

as you go on and state your dealings and troubles, he listens with an almost solemn look

he looks at you with utmost affection and concern when you finish

"the terrains of life have been steep and intimidating, you have been very commendable for braving through these, my dearest."

he places his lips onto your own and strokes the back of your head lovingly

for a reserved man, zhongli easily expresses his affection for you in multitudes of ways

his kisses being one of them

after parting your lips, he peppers your face with his kisses and you laugh quietly at his ministrations

"might i suggest a quick stroll to take your mind off things?"

you agree, thinking that once you head home, you'll be back to work with a clearer mind

little did you know mr. no money in his pockets got a liiiittle surprise for you as you won't be returning to your work any time soon :DDDD

by 'surprise' i mean he's taking you out to dinner

yall nasties

diluc

diluc is a busy man, dealing with a winery and all

along with his night profession (which he has only admitted to you and the traveling duo)

you did your best to hide your troubled self and aid him in his work, but you can only hold the facade for so long before it eats you up inside

when you break, he is slightly taken aback but is quick to comfort you

he sees you shaking and situates you on his couch as he sits beside you, rubbing your back as you curl into his figure

he's very warm

"sweetheart, would you mind telling me the problem?" he asks

he waits for an answer as you're still trying to find the words

"diluc, i'm sorry for bothering you.. i know you have plenty on your schedule and-”

"y/n, you're my top priority, no matter what. my work is nothing compared to what you mean to me."

and it's true, you're really his top priority

woohoo !! :DD

when you explain your anxieties and doubts to diluc, he's very understanding and listens to you earnestly

"-and that's why i've been so.. down, let's put it."

he strokes your face and presses his forehead to your own, looking you in the eye softly

he pulls you in tighter and closer, pressing kisses to your jawline and below your ear

"thank you for expressing your troubles with me, my love. i'm sorry for not noticing earlier."

"no need, love, you're very busy and i can't thank you enough for taking the time to understand me."

he pulls away for a second and shakes his head

"again, my work is nothing compared to you. i am willing to put aside all my responsibilities for a week in order to ensure your happiness."

uh wh a t

"ah," you laugh concerned, "sure–"

"which is what we're going to be doing this week." he smiles

welp. no turning back now

enjoy ur week with the redhead you utter s i m p

[hey-hamlet]

BNHA AU Ideas : Your blessings are your curses.

Also on AO3

TL;DR:

Dead All Might acts as a guardian angel to this heroic quirkless kid he runs into. Izuku gets put into a dangerous situation and turns out – DNA wasn’t needed to pass OFA. Just intent. Izuku gains the ability to see All Might along with the ability to use his quirk.

Sadly, AFO notices.

Now Izuku is on the run with a ghost for a guardian after AFO’s goons kill his mother.

Your blessings are your curses:

TL;DR: Dead all might, acts as a guardian angel to this quirkless kid he runs into. Izuku gets put into a dangerous situation and turns out – DNA wasn’t needed to pass OFA. Just intent. Izuku gains the ability to see All Might along with the ability to use his quirk.

Sadly, AFO notices.

Now Izuku is on the run with a ghost for a guardian after AFO’s goons kill his mother.

So – In the fight between All for One and All Might six years before canon, All Might loses.

Not horribly. All for One is still left almost dead and retreats into hiding, but All Might falls unconscious never to open his eyes again, later dying of sepsis in the hospital. His eyes may never physically reopen, but he does awaken – translucent and noncorporeal.

For a while he doesn’t know if it’s a latent quirk, or maybe something All for One did as a final blow, but no – it’s One for All. One for All has a mind of its own and refuses to disappear until Yagi has found a successor. Not that Yagi knows that.

His old haunts are too painful to hang around, the whole nation is grieving for him and seeing that pain on his old friend's faces burns something fierce. So he does what he’s always done. He helps.

Midoriya Izuku is nine when his favourite hero dies. He sees how the nation is grieving and his desire to be a hero only burns brighter. The bullying he suffers worsens, hate crimes against the quirkless and those with ‘villainous’ quirks uptick. Japan isn’t a pillar of safety and security anymore – crime rates have risen to match or overtake worldwide averages.

Still, he feels almost, safer? He gets luckier – the book his classmate stole shows up in his bag by the next period, bullies trip more often, and sometimes as he runs from villain attacks or classmates with their quirks popping against the nape of his neck, he feels a broad hand push him forwards, giving him an extra burst of speed.

He decides it must be the All Might charm he bought the day before the news of All Might’s death broke. A small solid plastic charm meant for a phone with a bright yellow bell attached, along with a tag reading “I AM HERE”. He fills the bell with scraps of paper so no one can hear it ring as he holds it tight in his hand when he gets nervous.

Midoriya Izuku is nine when he is almost killed.

With All Might gone, organized crime spikes. Quirk trafficking rings spring up – very rare, but no less real. It’s one of these such rings that kidnaps Izuku on his way home from school. He awakens, sore and blurry-eyed in a warehouse with a half dozen other crying children. One by one they are forced to show off their quirks, to gauge their value.

Izuku has no quirk to show. He has no value to these people. They growl at him to stop playing around, to stop pretending to be a hero (his All Might charm is almost cutting into his hand from how hard he holds it. He needs his luck more than ever please all might save me one more time - ). He can't bring himself to shut his eyes as a flaming hand reaches towards his face.

For a moment it feels like he's being held. He feels safe.

A shockwave levels the warehouse, leaving he and the other children untouched, the villains buried in the rubble. Green sparks sink into his skin, dancing over the rapidly purpling bruises decorating his arm. He runs.

He comes back to himself in a park, sobbing and shaking, arms wrapped around his shaking form and an oddly familiar voice murmuring apologies and praise as a broad hand runs gently through his hair.

It seems One for All never needed DNA, only intent, to pass itself along. With the passing of the quirk, Yagi should have dissipated, but he refused, clinging to the child he’d accidentally burdened with his legacy, the same quirkless child he’d been playing guardian angel for all this time.

When Izuku sees All Might he freezes. It’s not All Might as he knew him, rather – this is the All Might that died. He’s translucent, faded around the edges, with a tattered and bloodstained costume, thick padded bandaging over his stomach hiding stiches staining to close infected wounds, doing little to stop the blood oozing through. Still – All Might’s eyes are bright blue and kind and his smile is as it always was. Izuku throws himself onto his hero and sobs.

All Might – Yagi, as he insisted Izuku call him – led him to the nearest police station, as he tried to explain what had occurred. It wasn’t easy considering Yagi didn’t seem to be sure himself, but Izuku was pretty sure the quirk he’d been accidentally gifted was sentient.

Izuku held his arms up to the sky, stretching his fingers to the pinpricks of light in the night sky. Sparks of glittering gold, green, white, blue and red jumped across his skin, like the static shocks he’d get when he wore his wool socks in bed, but less painful. They almost felt playful.

“What are they called?” Yagi looked at him, confusion clear on his face. One of his spikes of hair drooped, and if Izuku could ignore the dust and blood that ran through it it would almost be funny.

“They? My boy, do you mean the sparks? If so, they don’t have a name.”

Izuku frowned, letting his hand drop. He could feel the sparks gently brushing his injuries, almost soothingly. “No, I mean your quirk. They should have a name, they’re so nice to me.”

Yagi coughed, dark blood spilling from his mouth, never to hit the ground. “One for All. It’s called One for All.”

Izuku’s frown deepened.

“All Might, mama says it’s rude to call someone an it.”

Inko is reunited with her only mildly injured son, now excitedly gushing about a quirk he’d somehow manifested. She privately thanks whatever spirit finally decided to smile upon her son, even if it took so long.

Their happiness doesn’t last long. Days later Izuku receives a summons to the head office. He freezes when he sees the police officer, Yagi’s comforting hand on his shoulder the only thing that keeps him from running.

It was a villain attack, the officer says with kindness so forced Izuku wants to cry. Yagi looks angry. If you’ll just come with us so we can get you to the safehouse with your mother –

Yagi almost growls with rage. “She’s lying.” He whispers, habit enforced despite the fact Izuku is the only person alive that can hear him. “Follow her out of the school then run” Izuku does exactly that, quirk sparking up his legs and pushing him forwards, down the familiar path to home. He takes the stairs six at a time, quirk chipping the edges of the concrete as he hurls himself forward.

Their apartment is in shambles, bookshelves tipped, small objects laying scattered on the floor, a pale arm laying limply from a half-open bathroom door.

Yagi pushes him out of the apartment and confirms the identity himself. He urges a sobbing Izuku to say his goodbyes to his mother’s corpse as they quickly gather all the money in the house, a few spare clothes and whatever food and water Yagi could knock down from the pantry shelves for him. Izuku crams it into his backpack as he sobs, Yagi guarding the entrance as he boils with rage and guilt.

He didn’t think All for One would find Izuku. He didn’t think he would even be looking. He was wrong and now his boy was paying the price.

So starts his time on the run.

He meets Shinsou first, saving him from some rubble in a villain attack. He meets him again later, battered and bruised – not from a villain, but from his foster parents. Shinsou joins him, no matter how Izuku explains hes in danger. Shinsou wants to be a hero, and if the only way he gets to be a hero is stubbornly keeping Izuku out of trouble? That’s not a bad trade-off, considering izuku was the first person to save him.

A little while later the two run into Shouto feverish and badly burnt and try to nurse him back to health as best they can. A few days in Touya and Toga run into their little camp guns blazing, expecting them to have kidnapped Shouto only to see Izuku patiently trying to feed him rice porridge with a veritable pile of ‘liberated’ fever reducers on the floor beside them.

They apologise but Shinsou and a still feverish Shouto refuse to talk to Touya or Toga for like three days bc they made Izuku cry.

They refuse to leave no matter how Izuku explains he has a centuries old villain after him. These kids are ride or die. So Hitoshi, Shouto and Izuku are like 9 and trying to learn what they can from libraries and newspapers, never settling down for too long. Toga (12) and Touya/Dabi (14) try and keep them all alive by working or stealing what they need to live. It doesn’t take long for them to evolve into a mini vigilante group.

Aizawa becomes familiar with the messy group of short vigilantes that seem to bounce from prefecture to prefecture every second day, to the point that the force is pretty sure one of them has a teleportation quirk because they don’t seem to have any kind of home base. He’s completely uninterested in trying to arrest them in the beginning – they aren’t hurting anyone and are not half bad at what they do.

That changes when he meets them.

Battered and bleeding out in a rainy alley with a villain looming over him with a knife, Aizawa is pretty sure this is the night he dies. The knife swings back, glinting in the streetlights as he tries in vain to scramble backwards with heavy limbs. It never connects. The villain jerks back as a brilliant blue plume of flame cuts him off, burning the tips of his hair. Not expecting backup the villain bolts. Aizawa feels small hands helping him into a sitting position – his stomach starts to sink. When the short masked figure with curly hair speaks he feels his heart turn to ice. The figure couldn’t be older than 11, probably closer to 10.

He wakes up in the hospital and he makes it his mission to save these kids.

Ghost All Might is having a rough time. His boy is in danger and the best he can do is rattle windows and trip sprinting villains. He can’t help them enough.

He has a plan though.

He warns Izuku that he’ll be gone for a while and to keep safe without him and he goes out scouting. Being invisible and impermeable is normally a curse but when trying to find a paranoid 200-year-old super villain? It’s pretty damn useful. It takes months but eventually he’s not only tracked down All for One’s main hideout he’s also memorised his schedule. It’s nothing impressive considering the man is still mostly bedbound after what All Might did to him, but he won't be a pushover. It’s a start, though.

Izuku cries tears of joy when he sees All Might again and cries even more when he shares what he found. It’s do or die time. He offers every one of his friends the chance to split now because there is a good chance they’ll die, but none of them wants to leave him. With that, he starts planning.

They’ll need Eraserhead, no bones about it. Without him, there would be no way to strike the final blow. They spend a few weeks refining their stealth then they seek Aizawa out.

They knew he’d have a price for helping them, but they never expected it would be so high, but simultaneously so kind. In exchange for his help and a vow of silence he wants each child to let him help them, to find them a safe place to live, a school to go to – a future. Izuku has spent his whole life being told he doesn’t have a future, from when he was diagnosed quirkless to the almost 2 years spent on the run from Japan’s most dangerous villain. He’s still not sure he’ll have one, even with All for One dead, but he knows he wants his friends to grow up happy and safe.

He accepts.

With Aizawa’s help, with Dabi and Toga clearing the way and Shinsou standing in the wings as the last resort, Izuku kills All for One as he sleeps. Nothing flashy, nothing fancy, just quiet footsteps, a sharp knife and shaking hands.

Aizawa is horrified this child just killed someone in front of him, but Izuku is sobbing and All for One is notorious in underground circles so he keeps his quirk up until the blood stops flowing from his neck. He takes the children and flees.

[40spoppin]

I bought a pound of quality chocolate and it’s all mine!!! All for me!!!

[starrysupercell]

Sooo... Now that its my wif- Tara's birthday... Are the Mystics (And Bo) gonna celebrate it :D? I can imagine Gene trying to set up some kind of surprise party for her, that would remain a surprise for like 4 minutes...

DANG IT. Past 12. TwT

But here you go! An outline for how Tara’s birthday is celebrated this year. 🧿 best fortune teller in Starr Park tbh. Your wife says hi 💜

I really gotta start keeping track of the Birthdays to have these things planned out.

~

One of the many good things about how much time Tara and Gene have known each other, is he knows she'll figure it out.

The surprise for her will be not the fact that there's a party because she can easily see that, but the extent of it, because she can promise not to sneak a peek at it.

(But now she's curious! Also, she's so used to checking on the future,* it takes a very conscious effort to not do so.)

So, while Gene keeps Tara preoccupied by taking a walk around the Park, Sandy, the Tribe, Gale and Mortis (because they're also friends with the Mysticals bc of the skins, shush.) are in charge of decorating.

So, with only two responsible adults in this group, how well do you think this is going to go? :)

Gale: So do you have a plan for the setup?

Sandy: hm? >.o oh. Yy*yawns*eah. here you go... *hands him a paper*

Gale: ...this just has a rough sketch of the main room and a couple of balloons.

Sandy- mm..felt sleepy but there's still.... -.-...time to...zzzz....

Gale:

Mortis laughs because well they'd just have to wing it! (He would definitely ask Emz for help, but she's busy with the teen crew for plot convenience) As long as decorations are already bought, it should an easy thing in setting it up the way they want it to look.

....decorations are already bought, right?

Sandy softly snores, and the Party Crew realizes that's their answer.

~

Meanwhile, Gene and Tara walk through the Park. The plan is picking up a few extra gifts along the way before heading back to the main party.

Their first stop is Barley's for some drinks! He gifts one bottle of Tara’s preferred drink, but does charge for the rest. Along the way, we see Brawlers greeting Tara and wishing her well on her birthday.

Colette’s very enthusiastic! She knows all the Brawler’s birthdays, and wanted to make something for Tara!

She doesn’t really have extra money recently, since there was some recent change in management, and she usually makes more detailed items, but because of the money problem, couldn’t buy as many materials she needed, but she’s derailing, so she hands Tara her wrapped gift.

It’s a cute hand-made Shade Plush!

Tara is delighted and thanks her for it. It’s a pleasant surprise, and she appreciates it. Colette fangirls a bit, thanking her, and then waving bye as the Mystics carry on.

~

Back at the Bazaar, they're trying to brainstorm on what to do. Well, half of them present are. Sandy is asleep and Nita + Leon are playing around the house.

Mortis says the only things he has back home are.. well, decorations of a more... gothic type..you know,.. (Halloween decors. they’re Halloween decors.)

Gale also offers up... some Snowtel hangings, but again, ‘tis not quite the right season to be jolly.

Bo suggests makeshift decorations. The twins are good at crafts! .. but more so along the lines of forest materials, not sand and...

Everyone’s drawing a blank, and decide that they could gather up their own share of materials, and see what could work best. Their time limit won’t really allow a break after all.

So Gale contacts Lou and asks him if he could meet him halfway with everything he can carry. Try not to get caught by the Penguin boss. Lou, ever the chaotic good guy agrees.

Bo gathers up Leon and Nita and they head out to see what they can scrounge up.

Mortis wonders if he should call up Frank too since he’ll be here later to set up and provide the music, but decides to be ~generous~  and just send a flock of his Bats to pick some things up for him. He sees them off adoringly.

With a content sigh, he lounges back and waits for his precious lovelies to return with his ideal decorations. Sandy sleeps on...

~

Back with Gene and Tara, the next item to pick up is the cake. Piper has the order ready-- a black forest chateau cake.

“Magnificent taste, darlings!” she compliments. she has it all boxed up very fancily. “It’s on the house. Take it as my gift for you. Happy birthday!”

She’ll also be attending the party later. Tara thanks her for the cake. She and Gene then take their leave.

Along the way to their last stop at the new Castle environment for the food, (because while they don’t know Ash very well yet, Tara loves trying out the new items and pizza is always great for a party.)

“Hey, Tara! ...hold up.” Edgar jumps down from a building they’re passing, just because he can and . “...this is from the rest of the Gang. Me too, I guess. Happy birthday.”

~

The party squad are actually worse off than before.

The Shaman Tribe are back, and the Twins became interested in using fabrics to try and make something too. so they’re playing around with it pretty much.

Gale just arrived, with Lou joined along because he was interested in the party planning too. (So, the snowtel is understaffed right now.) but they’re just chatting instead of working.

Mortis’ bats haven’t arrived yet, and he’s getting worried. They don’t usually take this long in running errands for him.

Leon and Nita are practically playing catch right now. They knock over something that looked priceless. Oh, a crystal ball, perhaps. Bo reprimands them.

They haven’t gotten much closer to making up the room...

There’s a knock, and the group freezes because oh no, they’re out of time. but it ends up being Frank. A very unhappy Frank who was suddenly surrounded by screeching batties who kept picking apart the house while he was packing up his set up for the party. They followed him there afterwards, along with several things.

Mortis tries joking it off ;; , and then very quietly and off-handedly apologizes when Frank doesn’t find it very funny.

But then so hey!!! you’re here so decoration time, everybody! let’s hop to it!

Gene’s Lamp, Sliver, floats in. Sent by Gene himself to check on the progress. They were nearing after all. The Lamp’s alarmed by what it sees. That is, absolutely nothing.

It glares around, and spots Sandy still sleeping. Sliver floats over to him, and hops on him-- Wake up!

Sandy does so, but is very grumpy. “what?”

Tara’s Birthday.

“yeah? what about it?”

Don’t you care?

“obviously.” he swats at the lamp. “it’s tomorrow.”

>:( Today. It’s TODAY.

“,” Sandy looks around, as wide-eyed as he could be.

broken crystal ball, a mix of decorations, and nobody currently fixing up anything from the looks of it.

They’re on the way.

Sandy makes a face. “ok... game plan on the fly.”

~

The final stretch of the day out.

Gene and Tara are nearing the Bazaar, and along the way, Gene starts to get heartfelt.

He reminisces how they first met, how far they’ve traveled together, how much longer they’ve yet to go.

He wishes he could think of something to give her that meant something like the other gifts that she received that day.

He was a Genie, but after everything they’ve been through, she deserves much, much more than what he could ever imagine to conjure up for her.

Tara smiles. “(Don’t... put me on too high a pedestal, my Friend.”)

Don’t sell yourself short either. You’ve done so much.

“(Yes. I have.)” Tara muses unhappily, thumbing the doll.

Gene suddenly gets the idea of what his gift could be, but he needs his Lamp to start on it.

~

Right before the two opened the door, a pair of bats were hanging up the last decoration.

And when the two walked in with the final party supplies at hand and are amazed at the display.

intricate ice sculptures and a more snowy feel set up where the food would go. the music section where Frank set up (who was talking with Mortis.) had a darker aesthetic, including the balloons over there.

Lastly the rest of the place was decorated with very cute works of art. no doubt the Tribe kid’s handiwork. she recognized it from when they stayed over, and the gifts Bo’s gotten from them and shown her.

You’d think that the seemed like the mix of fancier silver decorations, a more gothic theme and natural crafts would look odd together... and well, it was quaint, but it was very pleasing to see.

a patchwork of oddities, not unlike this park, really. She’s always been fond of odds and ends. Tara loved it!

Sandy yawns and walks over to them. “we actually just got done with the set up. but if it makes you feel better, we can still hide right now and yell surprise.”

Tara laughs. It’s okay.. it isn’t like she could be-- but she appreciates it. Sandy shrugs, like he didn’t just call all the shots and work in a hurry with the other eight. “you’re welcome.”

Lou offers to help set up the food and cake. Gale helps too, after presenting his gift too.

Frank and Mortis notice the arrival of the Birthday Gal and wave her over. They chat animatedly-- it’s been so long since they’ve had the chance to catch up! They should plan something soon. Tara agrees, and their gift is from the both of them. I can see it being a very nice piece of clothing, though I’m drawing a blank as to what.

The Lamp reunites with Gene, and their perspectives merge again. Oh. the party was really cut close, huh? but it worked out well! what a relief. a scrap book of actual memories is what you have in mind? how very sappy.... She would like it.

Lastly, Bo walks up to Tara, greeting her and wishing her well on this day. He hopes she likes what they helped with ....he then has the Twins apologize for breaking a few things around the house--

Tara dismisses it easily. They can be replaced. The Twins, that is. (joke to scare them.) But really, as long as they were careful from now on, it was okay. the cub and chameleon agree with no hesitation and then run off to cause more mayhem, but quieter this time.

The Psychic smiles. The guests would be arriving soon, and it was already so lively.

Time to party~!

_______

*I’m still deciding on the extent of her powers, so future sight might not be a thing, because of the characterization I have for her. I’m thinking something along the lines of “Can see past events, and make very informed guesses based on what she knows about people, but cannot see the future itself.”

[marveloussupernerd]

GURL YES IT WAS ON TV LAST NIGHT AND THE ENTIRE TIME I WAS LIKE JUMIN AND MC JUMIN AND MC!!! But yes I came from a YOI imagines blog who recommended you and I’m glad I came! But seriously take your time with it and do NOT be afraid to SHATTER MY HEART MERCILESSLY. Honestly I think we are living the same life in different places! Have a great week my friend!

money can’t buy happiness - Jumin Han

The original request:

Warnings: angst

Summary: dating Jumin Han meant constantly being in the spotlight. However, the press had a vendetta against you. At what point does your sanity take priority over your love towards Jumin? Will almost definitely get a happy pt 2 resolution if someone asks for it bc writing angst makes me sad lmaoo

[support me :)]

You were taking a shower. It was getting late and Jumin wasn’t home yet. The two of you had been dating for about four months and he asked you to move in with him. With you being in the public eye so much, he felt better knowing his security team could keep an eye on you.

You heard a knock on the bathroom door. It opened then shut. “I’m home, My Love. Sorry to have kept you waiting.”

You opened the shower door and leaned over to give him a peck on the lips, then focused back to your shower.

“You mind if I join you?” He asked, pulling his tie to loosen it.

“I... uh-“ you had been sort of self-conscious about your appearance lately. The media didn’t help; they were always reporting on how you looked. You didn’t let Jumin know. You knew it’d only worry him. “Okay. If you want.”

He deftly undid the buttons of his shirt and got undressed, slipping into the shower with you. He wrapped his arms around you in a tight embrace. “I’ve missed you,” he whispered, pushing a damp strand of hair out of your face. “You want help washing up?” He had a goofy grin on his face, hand settling on your hip.

“I... I’m not feeling really good about myself... and my body image today,” you confessed, staring at the water droplets on the shower wall.

“I wish you wouldn’t read those news articles. They’re horrible.” He carefully turned you in his arms so you were facing him. “You know I think you’re the most beautiful person in the world.”

“‘Jumin Han’s partner is gaining weight. Could a child be on the way?’” You quoted the article, word-for-word. It was etched into your memory. “I just was popping my hip out to the side. I don’t know. I thought I was being trendy. But they thought I was pregnant?!”

“Don’t listen to a thing they say.”

“I kind of look pregnant though. I need to lose some weight.” You bent over and got some shampoo, massaging the soap into his hair.

His eyes fluttered shut at the sensation. “You look perfect. That feels nice.”

“I just hate how they talk about anything and everything. You have a meeting with a woman? You’re cheating on me. I’m carrying a different purse? I’m a gold digger. I put all my weight on one foot, heaven forbid, and all of a sudden I’m pregnant.” You clapped your hands together, soap spraying against the shower door. “It just sucks.”

“I’m sorry.” He grabbed some conditioner to return the favor. “I got you some more flowers. I know it won’t make up for it all, but I thought they were nice.”

“Mhm. That is nice.”

“Let’s go out for dinner tonight too,” he offered.

“Last thing I need is more people thinking I’m eating too much.”

He pouted. “You’ve gotta eat somehow though.” The two of you stood under the stream of the shower. “I’ll get us a private room? At your favorite place too.”

You sighed. “It’s late Jumin. Don’t make more work for Jaehee.”

“I’ll do it myself then.” He stooped down to kiss your cheek. “Anything for you.”

The two of you got out of the shower and wrapped up in your towels and Jumin wasted no time calling the restaurant. “Hi!” He sounded overly excited. You laughed. “Oh... yes I can hold.”

“This is what it’s like to be a commoner,” you chuckled, pulling out a clean dress shirt for him to wear. Powder blue. He wore too many pinstripes. You really liked the way the color looked on him. You had a dress in the same color. He bought it for you when you bought him that shirt for his birthday; he thought it was cute when you’d match.

“Yes. No problem. This is Jumin Han... Oh! No worries. I was just hoping I could book a private room for a half hour from now,” he was so cute and flustered on the phone. He likely had never done this before. “Yes, that’d be great. Thank you.”

He hung up the phone and you laughed, giving him a hug. “You’re so freaking cute,” you uttered, your towel slipping down your body from the eagerness of the embrace. You pulled back. “I picked out some clothes for us, if you like ‘em.”

He glanced over at the clothes you had hung up and nodded. “Perfect. You’ll look so beautiful in that.” He walked over and grabbed his clothes, taking them off the hanger and starting to dress.

“Don’t forget to call Driver Kim,” you reminded him, picking out a pair of shoes.

“I texted him already. No worries.”

You turned to grin at him and he was already half-dressed. You couldn’t tear your eyes away as he buttoned up the shirt, hiding more and more of his perfect figure. He paused on the top button. “You’re staring.”

“I can’t help it. You’re just so handsome,” you giggled, walking towards him and helping him with the top button. “Will you zip up my dress for me?” You turned your back towards him. He complied, zipping you up.

“Tie or no tie?” He asked, glancing at his reflection in the mirror.

“No tie.” You replied confidently. He nodded, putting on his suit jacket to complete the look.

You glanced at both of your reflections in the mirror. You laughed out loud. “I just realized my hair is soaking wet.” You pulled a hand up to run through his hair. “Yours too.”

“Oops. Guess I didn’t think about that. Why don’t you wear it up then?” He pulled your damp hair off your neck and held it up so you could get an idea of how it’d look with the hair away from your face. “Looks nice to me.”

“Okay,” you smiled. You checked the time on your phone. “We’re going to be late,” you chuckled, sitting down to put your hair up.

He grabbed your shoes and kneeled next to you, helping you step into the heels. As you put Bobby pins in your hair to ensure it looked nice, he grabbed a nude lipstick off the counter and applied it to your lips. “We make such a good team,” he chuckled. You looked at your reflection, satisfied with how well Jumin did on your lipstick.

“Do I look presentable enough?”

“You look breathtaking. Come now,” he offered you his hand and you grabbed it. “Driver Kim is out front.”

You had made it to the restaurant in no time. The staff was extremely nice, taking you to your own private room where you could enjoy each other’s company in peace. The dinner was lovely, but there were some bumps along the way. The waitress served Jumin a glass of wine and you a glass of water. Pregnant women couldn’t drink, of course. You tried to explain you weren’t pregnant. Your eyes were watery and honestly you were extremely embarrassed; it was challenging to get out the words. Luckily, all it took was Jumin requesting to “get her a glass of wine, please,” with a hard look on his face to fix that problem.

Luckily, the food was great. It was your favorite restaurant, after all. Jumin even offered to get dessert. All you wanted was a brownie, but they didn’t have brownies. They made you a brownie. You felt like an inconvenience, but Jumin tipped significantly to reassure you that there was no problem. You asked the chef to come out and thanked them for a their flexibility.

“I can’t believe everyone reads those articles,” you whined when you got in the car. “She really thought I was pregnant.”

“I’m sorry. I don’t know why she’d think that. The media is... challenging.”

“They hate me. Not that it matters. But wow. The press really is not fond of me,” you confessed, playing with a strand of hair that had fallen from your updo.

“They hate everyone.”

“Your father hates me too.”

“He only hates you because he wanted to date you instead of me. He thinks you’re lovely,” he defended his father.

You sighed and leaned your head on his shoulder. “I’m tired.”

“You can shut your eyes. I’ll be right here when you wake up.” He reassured you. You nuzzled into his shoulder to get more comfortable and shut your eyes.

You woke up to a clank sound. You sat up, startled. You were in bed? “Jumin,” you glanced at him, sunlight lighting his features. “Wow... I was pretty tired huh?”

“You were. It was adorable... but challenging... helping you get to bed.” He had the sweetest smile on his face. You realized you were in your pajamas. He had helped you get changed, taken off your makeup, and let your hair down, all while you were asleep?

“You’re the sweetest.” You glanced at the clock. He usually didn’t leave work for another hour, yet he was all dressed up already. “Come back to bed and lay with me?” You peeled the covers on his side of the bed down, offering him the spot.

“Wish I could, but I have an early meeting today.” He got down on his knee and gave you a kiss. “I made you pancakes though. Hopefully that’ll make up for it.” He stood back up, grabbing his watch and putting it on.

“I love you. Have a good day at work.” You smiled.

“Have a good day at home. I’ll try to be back as soon as I can, but I might be a little late. I’ll call you later.” He walked to the door to leave, but made his way back to you and kissed your lips once again. “Love you.” And with that, he was gone.

You opted to stay in bed with your pancakes for a while. What was shocking to you, though, was to see your name trending on Twitter. You sighed, opening the tag and bracing yourself for the worst. Gold Digger? Jumin Han’s Girlfriend Doesn’t Even Bother Dressing Up for her Nights Out, Endangering Baby, Sources Say. You groaned. You thought you looked okay. Jumin said you looked beautiful. You hadn’t even seen a camera, but there it was: another unflattering picture of you.

And at the top of the trending tag, a tweet from Sarah. “This girl is not only a home wrecker, ruining Jumin and I’s engagement, but an awful mother-to-be. She clearly only cares for herself.”

You hated this. All the replies were in support of her. Was that... no. Jumin’s father retweeted it too. A sob escaped your mouth. You’d never be good enough for him.

You were packing clothes in the suitcase before you even knew what you were doing. You didn’t know where you were going, but you were leaving. You left the dresses and gifts Jumin got you at the apartment; you were not a gold digger. You didn’t want anything to remind you of him; it’d hurt too bad.

You grabbed a piece of stationary off of the desk in the home office Jumin had installed. You pulled out a pen and began writing. You couldn’t abandon him with nothing. Your heart wouldn’t let you.

Jumin,

I’m sorry. I was never the girl your father wanted me to be. Never the girl the press thought you deserved. I was always kidding myself by thinking I was the right fit for you.

You’ve been raised in the spotlight your whole life. You’re brave and confident and never let anything get to you. I, on the other hand, am sensitive, fragile, and unrefined. I can’t stand in the spotlight; I’ve messed up a million times and I would just keep messing up if I let myself.

It’s not so much that the media has gotten to me; that everyone has turned against me and sided with Sarah... even your father. It’s that I know this will never stop. There will always be problems with me around. You will never have a moment of peace with me. You’ll never be able to walk into a room with me without hearing the whispers. I notice them everywhere I go.

That’s why I have to leave. For you. For your company. And because I’m not strong enough. I’m not who you thought so highly of; I’m an imposter. I could never succeed in your world.

Don’t come looking for me. I don’t even know where I’m going, I just know I need to get away. Get married to Sarah, or someone else refined and beautiful and polite. You deserve the perfect woman who society loves and who knows exactly what to do. That’s not me. It never will be.

I love you, and I wish you only the best.

You were sobbing. There was no point in signing your name. The teardrops littered all over the paper were signature enough. You dropped the note on the bed, grabbed the suitcase, and headed to the door. You were in leggings and a hoodie, sunglasses obstructing most of your face. The last thing you needed was to draw more attention to yourself.

You took a taxi to the airport. You paid for everything with your own money. You left the credit card Jumin had given you at home. You didn’t need to take anything from him. You went to the front desk and booked the cheapest flight as far away as possible. You had always wanted to go to Orlando, you figured. Maybe you could go to Disney World and spend the day sobbing at the happiest place on earth.

You checked your suitcase, went through security, got a drink from Starbucks, and settled down at the gate, waiting for your flight. You cried openly at the airport. Who cared at this point? You couldn’t eat. The only thing giving you any sustenance being the drink in front of you. Eventually they called your boarding group.

You weren’t in first-class, like you usually were with Jumin. No, you were in a cramped row of three at the back of the plane. It was refreshing. You were leaving your old life behind. You glanced out the window as you walked towards your seat. Goodbye Jumin. Goodbye RFA. You should have called Seven and told him. Told him not to track you down at the very least. You’d have to purchase a new phone. You were going to start completely anew. You sniffled, but kept walking down the aisle to your seat, each step feeling like purgatory as you felt the distance from Jumin increase.

[along-the-devils-backbone]

Tw: ED, Tw: Weight loss, tw: self-harm (?)

I'm tired of being huge. I'm tired of being the "wrong shape". I look at other girls that are my size and bigger -- beautiful people that I admire and have helped me so much in my self-love journey... and I see them and realize we're not even shaped the same.

I feel like I would give anything to be a pear-shape. A decent waist, and round hips... but instead, I have a fucking "B" belly, where it looks like I wore my jeans too tight & all my fat deformed into two bellies instead of one... Shirts cling to my upper belly and make me look like i'm smuggling two pool noodles around my waist at all times. High-waisted pants make me look like Tweedle-Dee. If i turn sideways, I look like a really sad floppy caramel apple with the stick shoved all the way through both sides.

I hate it. I hate me.

I've been trying so so hard lately to not hate myself. To work on my confidence and love my body. Some days I can look down and think "wow, i'm so soft. I'm so warm. I can't wait for Adrian to lay his head on my belly and nap." but more often that not lately, I see myself in mirrors and think "Holy fuck, what the fuck was I thinking?? This looks bad. REALLY bad."

And this week... This week got REALLY bad.

We're house-sitting for my MIL and in the 17 years i've been with Jim, her bathroom has been the bane of my existence. Floor-to-Ceiling mirrors line 3 out of 4 walls. BRIGHT fucking lights. I get to see every bad angle of myself in fucking hi-def 4d 1080p. Every roll, every imperfection, every weird dimple... And you can't just... NOT look. It's everywhere. I spend my entire time using the toilet/shower staring at her ugly pink flooring wishing I was literally anywhere else. I can't even walk PAST the bathroom, because the door is always open (so the dog can use her potty pads bc she's old) and i'll catch myself in the mirror, not thinking.

It feels like being drop-kicked by surprise every time I have to fetch something from the bedroom or go pee...

It's gotten so bad though, I feel like every step i've taken towards loving myself, has been undone. Like a bigass house of cards, it just came tumbling the fuck down and i've no idea how to begin rebuilding it.

I tried today, to dress up. To challenge myself & wear something I hadn't worn in public yet, because I saw so many plus-sized goddesses on tiktok trying it, and i thought "I'm going to do that. I'm going to dress up in this expensive dress i bought, and i'm going to do my makeup, wear fishnets & heels, and get gorgeous, then go to a park & do a photoshoot to PROVE how good I look!"

It backfired so hard.

I cried on a park bench.

I felt like a sad, sweaty apple in a sausage-casing that shouldn't have tried to be something other than a gross rotting apple. I came home & immediately changed into shorts and a tanktop and refused to look in the mirrors. I wiped all my makeup off to hide that i'd been crying. I faked being okay to Jimmy because I know he'd just tell me he doesn't care & loves me any way I look... but what's it matter if someone else loves you, if you don't love yourself? When you can't see what they possibly love about your body when they won't even touch it?

On top of all of this, i'm in pain. Literal physical pain. I can't get jack-shit done IRL because of it. I'm always holed up on a couch or in bed crying because it hurts so much. My doctors just shrug and tell me "Well if you lost weight, it probably wouldn't hurt so bad." as if there's not a knot of nerves that if you barely graze my back, i crumple into a heap because of the fucking pain. But let's not see a neurologist -- that's obviously just me being too fat :) right? :)

It makes me not want to eat. I want to starve myself and eat only coffee and boiled eggs for months on end until I lose enough weight for my doctors to go "holy shit, we were wrong! it's NOT your weight! Let's actually get you tested for things NOT related to your weight!!" But I don't do that. Instead, I sit here and eat, because food = happiness. It doesn't need me to rely on somebody to leave the house. It doesn't need me to spend forever walking and standing. It makes me happy, in a life where the only happiness I get comes from my partners. So i fucking eat. And it's not that I eat a lot. I eat maybe 3x a day. 4 if i have an extra snack. My portions aren't crazy huge. I have vegetables & cut out a lot of carbs & dairy whenever I can. I fucking went Keto for 3 months before I got fed up making everything out of cauliflower & spending fortunes on alt flours because i'm allergic to fucking coconut everything...

If i'm not eating to make myself happy, i'm starving myself. Because the idea of food makes me sick. Food = weight gain, and while i know i need nutrients to survive, I'd rather not eat & hope I lose the weight, than eat & have a chance of just gaining more and more...

Is it healthy? fuck no. Is it an eating disorder? oh hell yeah. Do I want to do something about it? fucking of course. Do i know what to do? Not one fucking bit.

I just know i'm not happy. I hate my body. I hate looking at myself from the fucking shoulders on down, and I've no idea how to change it without having surgery -- and i've come to the realization that i'm beginning to be okay with that.

I'm sitting on a park bench today, crying, thinking "It can't be that bad... right?" to want to be cut open & have my stomach stapled, or be rubber-banded so small that all i can eat is a boiled egg and half a coffee, because obviously I can't do it myself.

I'm lying in bed last night, picturing what would happen if I just took a butcher knife and hacked off my "upper" belly, so maybe i'd start to look like a "normal" fat person, instead of this B-belly bullshit that nature so graciously gifted me...

I'm sitting here, remembering every time my mother calls herself fucking ugly, horrendous, disgusting, because she's fat... and she weighs almost 100lbs less than me. Or the time my German Teacher joked about hating her body so much, she mentioned wanting to take a shotgun & position it so it would only catch her belly fat, and nothing else, so they'd be FORCED to liposuction all of the buckshot out & she'd be "normal"...

I know my gyno prescribed a lap-band surgery once. My fucking OBGYN... I ended up cancelling the appointment because I thought I could do it on my own.

I can't.

I know my insurance would cover it. I know i'd be stuck with flabby gross skin afterward & not have any money to get the tummy-tuck needed to make me look normal...

I'm thinking of going through with it anyway though... because i fucking hate my body, and i hate the pain I'm in, and I just want to be done with it all.

[prvntcessa]

listen up 10s a 4 is speaking! shdlaskhd what’s up sluts i’m cherry, i’m 21, use she/her pronouns and live in PST! this is mischa, princess of the russian mafia. she wears black lipstick, is massive scammer, laughs at videos of people falling down the stairs. here is a shorter sparknotes version of her bio and some fun and fresh headcannons

please enjoy this gif of mischa cosplaying indie xoxo

SPARKNOTES BIO! 

skeleton: the career criminal

name: mischa dostoyevsky ( formally xia han)

age: 25

gender: female

pronouns: she/her

fc: natasha liu bordizzo

born as xia to a dirt poor family of literal SCAM artists. we luv a scamily babey! her parents basically sold fraudulent anti-aging serum to dumb, white new york tourists everyday ( with the added bonus of her older brother dressed up like an OLD ASS MAN doing cartwheels n backflips like woooow this stuff really works! ) her job was basically sneaking through the crowd of people while they were distracted and pick-pocketing their money, valuables, shiny shit etc.  

that white savior guilt money was paying the bills until one of the karens they conned got hives from the allergic reaction to the red food dye they used in the fake serum and her brothers literal Old Man disguise flew off like 90s rapper fly away pants when it was windy as fuck one day so basically The Authorities Have Been Called Luv, the police showed up and xia didn’t know what to do bc she was a kid so she just BOLTED AND RAN ... does not know what happened to her family to this day

grew up on the street, continued the family business of being a fcking scammer and basically bought tampons by telling power walking, baby backpacking ladies that she was gonna have to feed little timmy cockroaches if they didn’t pay off, slept with crooked stock brokers, seduced old guys, cleaned out their apartments, stole all their money, jewels, watches, credit cards, priceless antiques -- THE WORLD WAS HER SUGAR DADDI BB

all of this changed on day when she making her nightly run by the alibi, a bar she called Dumb Rich Guy Bar and saw a weird old guy come out looooaded with what looked expensive shit,  but she really wanted his pocketwatch which from her experience was mad expensive. so she did her lil routine and THOUGHT she stole the watch but LOL SPIDERMAN MEME, he stole the watch back and the ring she was wearing AND HIS BODY GUARD HAD A GUN PLACED ON HER. MMM WHATCHA SAY

so turns out the weird old guy she tried to steal from was VLADIMIR DOSTOYEVSKY!!!! THE HEAD OF THE RUSSIAN FUCKING MAFIA. yiiiiikes! lmao she was like cool im gonna die but he was like hold up, u chose the pocket watch, the only real and valuable thing i was wearing ... i like u ur smart u have fire, u remind me of my dead wife  YOU WILL BE MY SUCCESSOR ur name is now mischa for my unborn son and i will teach u the ropes

so there is no more xia, only mischa, basically adopted by vladimir who she calls dad/nana and who calls her rabbit as a nickname (they play monopoly every night and VLAD CHEATS EVERY TIME BRO). she is the only girl in the bratva aka The Brotherhood which is what the russian mafia is called. shes kind of their wendy. shes worshipped outwardly but theres probably a lot of people that hate her ... which leads me to ........PAPA DYING! BIG RIP OG PAPA! he was poisoned at dinner and people say it was the italians but mischa is sure it was an inside job

bc of vlad dying *pour one out for vladdy daddy* mischa is head of the bratva aka russian mafia they call her PAPA bc thats how people refer to the mob boss SO SDHLLKDSH

ALSO PLOT TWIST! originally the plate that killed her dad was the plate she was given but he switched with her bc his piece of chicken was bigger and he wanted her to have it :((((( SO THE POISON PLATE WAS HER PLATE SO SOMEONE WAS TRYNA KILL HER DUN DUN DUNNNNNNN

ok here are HCS they are from the bottom of my app xx

nicknames include who’s your papa, big papa and daddy purely because it’s iconic. but also she is probably that gifset where rihanna is talking abt how shes a bad bitch w top energy but is a massive bottom ahdlaks

mischa i think has to look a certain way of looking when dealing w the mob ( sort of girl boss, designer clothes, femme fatale ) but i think she is relatively unlady-like and prefers ratty jeans, plaid skirts, flannels, black combat boots, messy ponytails and the like when she’s relaxing. reminds her of life before.

practices makeup on dmitri and boris (her body guards) who complain a lot but also love her xoxo 

owns a very big fluffy, luxurious cat named perogi, he’s her son, a gift from dear old dad. 

has a pretty severe drinking problem ( vodka on the rocks is the poison ) after her father died and sleeps with a gun ( although i think she's better with a knife )

thus can drink you under the table also swears like an old sailor man ( is working on it, the whole mob sighs when she calls japanese businessmen idiot douche canoe fuckbags to their faces during monthly debt collections )

mischa can speak 5 languages in order to speak to people all over the world: madarin ( from her childhood ), english, russian ( mob ), spanish and french. 

pansexual queen and i want to say scorpio 

she’s grateful obviously to папа doing more off the grid, low quality criminal stuff without supervision because she is a truant, tramp, scam artist cat burglar klepto at heart <3

cinnamon roll meme: looks like she could kill you and would probably kill you

so i want to say she probably met the star of the show doing something where she snuck out at night with her bodyguards not knowing, wore her civilian clothes, blended in kept her head down because she missed freedom and accidentally met them out there like that under a pseudonym to hide her mafia life/continued to sneak out to see them like that before being exposed. very double life stuff angsty secret mafia princess stuff. we love hannah mon-mafia.

scared her parents will resurface/past will resurface ( supposedly папа bribed the police but . . . karma is a bitch )

has A LOT of suitors meant to strengthen The Empire and bridge conflicts between mobs but cares little, them: 💕, her: hocks a loogie and wipes on pants … she SUCSKSSKSS

has burped at important business dinners before and simultaneously has brought massive mafiosos to their knees. literally will have your dick cut off if you say something misogynistic, racist or something about her father :) she has a collection. ( its a big collection, but still quite little if you know what i mean )

rumored to have killed a man with the sharp end of her louboutin.

has a slight accent just from being surrounded by it constantly and word switches

smells like cinnamon and scraped knees

[softschnappi]

TOADY IS WILL’S BIRTHDAY!!! So here are some ryers headcanons that I’ve been thinking about for the past few days in regards to Will’s special day...NSFW warning tho, mainly for the second one 

And honestly, I did not intend for these to be this long or to have spent 4 hours writing them...

1. As adults, Richie and Will live in a moderate-sized house in LA and the Losers and the Party don’t live too close to them (probably an hour drive to see Max, Lucas, Stan, and Eddie whereas others live across the country) so you can imagine they all don’t see each other at the same time very often. So, for Will’s birthday, probably his 30th, Richie invites everyone over for a surprise party which is extremely difficult to execute. Everyone has to fly/drive in and come to the house without Will knowing. Stan, Eddie, Max, and Lucas try to house everyone in the upcoming days depending on when the others’ flights get in meanwhile Richie has to fib and say that his work wants him doing the early shifts (which he booked off) so he can organize all the food and get the house situated but can still spend time with Will at night. On the day of, Richie’s “working the early shift” but before he leaves he makes Will a nice breakfast, fucks him real good (because there ain’t no way they’re doing it in the next few days), and gives him his presents which include some sex toys, video games, and artist supplies (because you can never have enough) and some cool dnd gadgets he’d picked up here and there. He leaves, and Will goes to hang out with Stan and Eddie at Disneyland (BEAR WITH ME I KNOW ITS A JUMP BUT ITS LIKE A 30 MIN DRIVE FROM LA) and they have lots of fun and blah blah blah and Will’s like I’m gonna get fucked so good tonight bc it’s my birthday and Stan and Eddie are like ahah yes absolutely!...but anyways they leave around seven because Will wants to have dinner and be with Richie so Stan and Eddie leave in their car and Will leaves in his then Richie texts Will to pick up some wine for them on the way home as a distraction so Stan and Eddie have more time to race to their house for the party. Everyone is chilling at Richie and Will’s house having some drinks and luckily you can’t see them all standing around because they have one of those beach houses that are on stilts or whatever. So Richie is keeping an eye out the window and once he sees Will’s car pull in he yells at everyone to hide. Then when Will comes in he greets him with a big hug and a kiss...but then Will goes for Richie’s belt and asks him to fuck him and Richie is literally like ajasshhfkaksh and tells him that as much as that sounds appealing...and coughs a couple times which was the signal for everyone to jump up and yell SURPRISE!!! and Will is fucking MORTIFIED that everyone just heard that but they all start laughing and it becomes the joke of the night. But Will feels so grateful to be with Richie and that he would do all of this for him and even get a couple pizzas, ribs, tons of alcohol, and a big Reece’s cake from the bakery down the street. Idk about what presents anyone would get him besides Bev making him something fashion related for him and Eddie definitely buying him a sex toy but yeah I have no idea about anyone else lol and this was super long but they all get drunk and have a great time partying maybe go skinny dipping because Richie and Will live on the beach and own a section of it...perhaps?

2. Okay NSFW warning again:

So Richie asks Will what he wants for his birthday (They’re living in LA and in their 20s) and Will is like hmm...maybe a new toy? And Richie has a lightbulb moment and he takes Will to a sex shop (Will didn’t know his plan until they were parked but Richie convinced him to go in) and tells him to pick out anything he wants and he’ll buy it for him. The store is a little bit busy and Will finds the whole thing so embarrassing, like, why couldn’t he just shop online? But Richie argued that shipping takes forever and there could be some hidden gems here. Plus, you get to see EVERYTHING. So Will is like fine okay and starts looking around, his face bright pink for two reasons: one because I mean he’s in a fucking sex shop and two, Richie is being really loud and is making comments on a lot of toys and Will wants to pretend he doesn’t know him but Richie won’t stop saying, Will? What about this, Will? You have to see this, Will! You should try this one, Will! And although everyone tells Richie he’s super annoying, Will’s never been that bothered by how much he talks, which is absolutely incredible to everyone else, but in this moment he really wished more than ever that Richie would SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP. And once they’re alone in the aisle he tells him to, because he’s being embarrassing, and Will threatens to leave the store. So Richie does shut the fuck up, and lets Will look in peace. He already has a vibrator, a prostate massager, and Richie had bought him a fleshlight. He didn’t have anything specific in mind, just hoped that something would jump out at him. And there was absolutely no fucking way he was going to buy the dildo that laid eggs in your ass that Richie was waving in front of his face, or a spreading butt plug, or a dildo that attached to a dick (in this case, Richie’s) so that you could have TWO dicks in you at once, and definitely, definitely not an anal hook. On the other hand, Richie is loving this whole experience, watching as Will scans over all of the different toys, imagining which ones would feel the best inside of him...fuck. Will ended up finding a vibrator that you could control with an inconspicuous ring or even an app, and the thought of sitting on the couch cuddling, with Richie controlling his pleasure had Will biting his lip and Richie smirking behind him. Another contender was a stainless steel buttplug which was attached to a fluffy white bunny tail. As soon as Richie saw Will eyeing it, he begged him to choose it. Fuck, he would look so cute with it, so delicate. Maybe Richie could even get him some white lacey panties to go with it and- fuck. If Richie couldn’t get himself together he was gonna get hard. Not like it would be a surprise to anyone in here if they were to see him, it probably happened all the time, but Richie did not want to be that guy. And he could tell Will was liking it as much as he was, so he takes the toy from the rack and declares that he’s buying it, but Will argues that it’s his decision on what toy he wants, and Richie tells him that, baby, you can get two. But even though Will knows that they have good money, he doesn’t want to be greedy, and he says they can come back another time for it if he chose a different one. He questioned when he would even wear it since he would never wandered the house naked, and Richie explained that he’d probably have to cut a hole in some old pants and underwear to wear it around, trying his best to keep his composure as he imagined Will just chilling in one of his shirts (how big they looked on him made Richie melt every time) and this fluffy tail poking out the back of his jeans. But Richie put it back to make Will feel better, although he knew he was leaving with it one way or another. They go to the next aisle, and that’s when Will sees it. It’s a mutual masturbation toy, one that he and Richie would share, and holy shit did it look like heaven. It was a double-ended sleeve with a bullet vibrator on each side, and the description said something about feeling your cock sliding against your partners’ and how romantic it would be, and usually, something like that would make Will cringe, but thinking about he and Richie using this thing together had him snatching it from the shelf and pressing it to Richie’s chest, announcing that he’s chosen what he wants with pink cheeks and a grin on his face. And Richie’s like aw, aren’t you nice, wanting to share, and he knew how much Will whimpered when he was fucking into something or using a vibrator, and man, this was going to be fun. So Will made Richie cash out while he waited in the car because buying something from a sex shop is embarrassing in general to him, but even more so the thought of he and Richie going up together, and the cashier knowing that both of their dicks are going to be inside the toy that they’re scanning. Yeah, that sounded mortifying, so he’d much rather have the cashier only clue in that Richie’s dick was going get some action, as well as some other faceless dude. And while he was by himself, Richie went back and grabbed the butt plug, and bought them both. When Will tried to say something about it, Richie just said that he was allowed to spoil his baby and that was that. And obviously, they tried the toy out immediately when they got home because fuck it, it’s an early birthday present and holy fuck. Both of them didn’t last too long, but this was one of the few times that Richie came before Will. It was a mix of a lot of things that did it for him: The vibrations and tightness on his cock, which was sliding against Will’s, who was moaning obscenely against Richie’s lips, and he was making the hottest fucking faces, mouth slack and resembling an ‘O’ shape, eyebrows scrunched tightly together as he whined and looked into Richie’s eyes, and a few more looks at that pretty face had Richie coming, hard, into the toy and all over Will’s cock, who came mere seconds after. That sure went down in the history books for one of the best purchases they ever made. And they did use the butt plug a little later, Will looking, as usual, absolutely angelic with it. But, surprisingly, it wasn’t really a sexual thing. Sure, there was something filling Will’s ass, but he and Richie both enjoyed how adorable it made him look more than anything. They would be innocently cuddling and Richie would see that little tuft of white sticking out from his pants, and would begin to pepper Will’s face with kisses because he had the cutest baby in the whole world.

[solitaria-fantasma]

((Session #7 shenanigans, GO!))

We’re skipping the filler stuff this week and jumping straight into the Plot bc our DM has figured out how to connect us to her main campaign and really wants to get to the good parts.

It’s been a while so we had to do a little discussing to remember where we’d left off: Destroying a dog-fighting ring, making friends with the dogs, and kidnapping the pit boss.

We dragged the pit boss halfway back to town bc we’d left our horses at the inn, and then dragged him into the woods to interrogate.

I woke him up with a slammin’ lute chord (and I was absolutely thinking “SECRET TUNNEEEEELLLLL!” in my head as I did).

Udaji rolled another ‘4’ on her Perception check and someone else in the voice chat said “yeah that’s on-brand for her”.

ZONE OF TRUTH! ZONE OF TRUTH! ZONE OF TRUTH!

(the pit boss calls the dogs ‘stupid animals’) “Someone needs to hold Udaji back, please.”

“Lord Hassan? Yeah, he’s the boss-.....I shouldn’t have said that.”

This poor man didn’t have a high enough intelligence to recognize the spell ‘Zone of Truth’ and is confused af right now.

The second piece of the map to the Crescent Gang’s Hideout was rolled up in a little bottle on a string around the pit boss’ neck - now we have two!

We asked where the third piece was, but the pit boss didn’t know - he gave us a few towns that he thought it might be in, though (such as Caister, in Everton).

Apparently, you need to layer all three map pieces over top of each other to see the full picture - like animation cells!

We asked about the marriage-murder scam, too, but the pit boss didn’t know anything important.

“If these bitches were cute enough then maybe-” *angry Dragonborn noises*

“Maybe we could feed him to the dogs?” “No way! Burnt Toast and Matthias Jr. need a well-balanced diet, not junk food.”

The only thing holding Udaji back from killing this man rn is Claus’ hand on her shin.

We leave the pit boss tied up in the wilderness, and he’s probably going to die. It’s a good thing none of us are Lawful Neutral.

The fastest way to Caister is by boat, which will take about one week, rather than two weeks if by land.

We have to pay to board the horses on the boat, but as long as the sailors were allowed to pet our new dogs, we didn’t have to pay for their boarding.

“What would you like to do on your two week boat ride?”/”I would like to train Matthias Jr. to play dead when shot with a pretend bow and arrow.”

Level Four! Yay!

We had barely landed in Everton when we heard an NPC shouting about a thief.

Mountain was too distracted trying to keep Señor Guapo from eating poison ivy to notice the commotion.

I have only just now realized that I did not include in my last session’s notes that the other two dogs are named “Señor Guapo” and “Joel”.

“Because Claus is a good boy and he is the conscience of this party.”

“We could also surround her. We number quite many.”

*insert Benny Hill theme here as the party & our dogs attempt to surround the suspected thief while our horses graze serenely a few meters away from the chaos*

The thief is a hungry young woman I don’t care what her role in the story is I have already mentally adopted her.

Mountain paid the farmer the five copper the carrots were worth, and the man stormed off, threatening to call the guard if we let her near his farm again.

“You offer her your rations, and she looks at you like you are God.”

The child is absolutely bewildered by the size of Ganondorf the Horse, but then she looked back at me (the Dragonborn) and whispered “Oooh, that makes sense…”

Soothing lute music is good for panic attacks and that’s about all Udaji’s good for right now.

Her name is Colette De Mir, and she claims to have fallen on hard times after receiving a letter pROPOSING MARRIAGE TO A LORD IN EVERTON OH NO-

She survived an attack on her traveling group, and was the only survivor. Lord Hassan tried to kill her, and threw her off of a bridge into a ravine, where she once again managed to cheat death. No-one else in her party survived, and everything in their carriage that could be stolen was.

Burnt Toast and Joel are therapy dogs: Confirmed.

Colette was horrified when we told her that she was not the only one who had been targeted by this scam, and demanded to know what we knew.

Matthias doesn’t trust her, for some reason, but the high Insight roll checks out.

“Yeeting princesses is not a very Lordly activity.”

Colette says she woke up underwater after the fall, and found herself breathing rather normally. What a way to find out you’re a sorcerer.

I lent her one of the costumes from my Entertainer’s pack, to replace her dirty and mismatched clothing as we go into town, and it’s WAY too big for her, considering it was sized for a Dragonborn.

Once we get to town, Astrid and I take Colette on a spa/shopping trip so that she can get cleaned up, and have some proper clothes.

At the inn, Colette tells us that she didn’t know that this town was Caister - she had been told that it was Kenkilly by the ship that had carried her and her entourage.

She was lied to about which town was which, basically, and - being from a completely different country - she had no idea.

Our money from Swadlin is still good in Everton, but almost all of the shopkeepers and merchants could pin us as tourists from our foreign currency.

Colette asks us to take her to Kenkilly, where Lord Hassan is supposedly supposed to be. Safety and strength in numbers, right?

Udaji - having been raised by an overprotective party of retired adventurers in a quiet, but populous, town - has no survival skills of her own.

For all intents and purposes, Colette is a Waterbender. 

Colette has a blue cloak that she tried to hide from the party, and took great care to dry and keep when changing clothes. It was a gift from her mother, meant to protect her.

When we set out the next morning, Colette rode with Astrid and got the tea (whether she wanted it or not) on the rest of the party.

“She has all the embarrassing stories on you, like what you do when you sleep.”/”Oh, no! She’s seen me cuddle my lute??”

Kenkilly is actually a small, rural village on the coast, rather than the larger city it had been made out to be in the letter to her family.

We track down some shady locals to try and get information, and we….are not subtle about it.

Between the Dragonborn, the Tiefling, two half-elves, a princess, and four dogs, we stand out quite a bit.

Matthias joined the shady people for a game of chance with dice, and won a bit of money, but no information.

Mountain joined in the betting, and Astrid is shit-talking both of them while Colette, Claus, and Udaji stand off to the side and watch.

Claus lasts about five minutes before he gives up trying to pretend we aren’t doing some shady BS and goes back to the inn to drink.

Mountain asks about the Crescent gang, but one guy asks for a bribe for his answer. Mountain tries to intimidate him, and fails miserably

Matthias also tried (and failed) to intimidate, but with Astrid’s help, the criminal was successfully intimidated.

Lord Hassan does indeed live in this town (or at least the castle nearby it), and he does not seem to be entirely well-liked by the people.

None of the complaints are super-bad, though….”trash day changes too much”, “the cost of living is too high”, “there’s too many damned foreigners-” Okay. Okay. We get the point.

“Udaji’s gonna look herself up and down from her boots to her flower crown and ask: “Do I look like a cop??’.”

“If we’re gonna ‘case this castle’, may I recommend not sending the Tiefling or the Dragonborn?”

Matthias goes out to scout, and finds out that Lord Hassan has ‘appointment times’ where he is available to the public - the next time being 2pm the next day.

He signs up the party for the 2pm meeting and comes back to the inn where the rest of us are waiting.

“I have been giving you guys tons and tons and TONS of money! You know you can spend it, right??”

The local armorer can upgrade our weapons with silver, but it would take two days, and we don’t expect to be in town that long...bummer.

I bought some new Studded Leather Armor for Udaji, sold her original Leather Armor, AND got it refined - my bby now has an AC of 16 now!

“Why do you still have all these rotten apples in your inventory?!”/”She’s fermenting them!”

Matthias’ player had him eat twenty rotten apples in one sitting just to spite the DM (their sister).

He then had to go throw up in the harbor.

So earlier, Matthias horribly embarrassed Astrid back in the alley, and now she’s refusing to talk to him.

Colette is confirmed for 19 and Udaji is still the baby of the party at 17.

The rest of the party is hanging out in the tavern, completely unawares, as Astrid yeets herself out a second story window to avoid talking to her father.

The innkeeper gave Udaji some alcohol, and Mountain casually stole it, drank it, and said “Underaged drinking is bad.”

Everyone goes around placing dinner orders at the inn and Udaji orders an entire chicken.

Astrid came back after brooding out in the wilderness for a few hours and we settled down to sleep.

Astrid steals a crown that Matthias had ‘found’ in an earlier session for Colette, arguing that “she’s actual royalty, and we’re going to talk to a Lord tomorrow, so we need to make the best impression”.

We also get a ‘glow-up’ montage as Astrid uses Matthias’ disguise kit to alter Colette’s appearance (bc if Lord Hassan really DID try to murder her, then walking straight back into his castle with no disguise would be a death sentence).

Still refusing to talk to her father, Astrid paid a very confused and slightly offended Colette to bring her breakfast in her room, just so she didn’t have to look at Matthias’ smug elven face.

Astrid also does not join us at the castle.

The Lord that we meet in the castle…..is NOT the same Lord that tried to kill Colette.

“It is kind of rude to show up for your scheduled appointment and just stand at the door, not saying anything.”

Colette storms past the party to demand an explanation of Lord Hassan, who is very unimpressed with this strange woman’s attitude.

“She’s a little upsetti spaghetti.”

Udaji’s soothing lute music saves the day again.

We tell the Lord that we are from the land of Swadlin, and were sent to investigate a series of deaths.

This Lord Hassan is a widower who is deeply faithful to his late wife and has no intentions of marrying again, and is VERY confused to hear that someone is using his name.

An advisor steps forward to take over the situation, and Matthias’ successful Insight roll gives him TERRIBLE vibes.

“He’s the kind of person whose teeth are too straight; too white.”

This advisor offered to pay us to investigate who was impersonating his Lord, and despite the bad vibes, Matthias agrees.

“Maybe DON’T intimidate the advisor while surrounded by guards.”

“He’s essentially offering you $7,000 EACH.”

We got sent off to investigate this impersonation of a Lord, and went back to the inn to try and shake off the Bad Vibes and calm Colette down.

Colette draws us a (rough) sketch of a frowning man with a pointed hairline and stiff moustache as the man who threw her off the bridge.

*two minutes of the DM (lovingly) insulting her cat in the background*

Colette says he was incredibly handsome, but Udaji just doesn’t see it.

We decide to try following the river upstream until we find a bridge that matches the one Colette was thrown off of.

Colette uses some of Matthias’ paper to write a letter to her parents, and asks Udaji to come with her to find a sailor to deliver it to her parents (for a modest fee).

The DM brought up the map and showed us the island of Mir, where Colette was from. It is a tiny dot out in the ocean, down in the far right bottom corner of the map. No wonder she needed to sail for two months!

“Matthias drinks one drink and then is blackout drunk.”/”Why do you think I have a kid?”

When we leveled up I took “Suggestion” as my next 2nd level spell, and I absolutely cannot wait to use it.

I CAN TAKE THE “DRAGON WINGS” RACIAL FEATURE AND GIVE UDAJI A 20FT WINGSPAN! Oooooooh boy the sTORYTELLING I can do with this!!!

[queerlesbianpositivity]

a personal, super long vent. i don’t expect anyone to read it. tl;dr i’m sad about how unbalanced by breakup is and especially sad bc when i move out i will be leaving behind a cat that i have a really strong bond with but who, literally every way you cut it, belongs to my ex

so as i mentioned my gf and i broke up last week. it was amicable, i’m sad, etc

even though the end of our relationship was, and still is, really difficult and painful, worse than that is the cat situation

she has two cats. they moved out to our apartment in january. one was very skittish and tbh seemed unhappy in her parents’ home, he spent most of his time hiding. i really liked that cat. i gave him affection while respecting his space and boundaries. also, this apartment is smaller, quieter, and more predictable than the family home. so he really came out of his shell. he stopped hiding, he started hanging out on the couch with me. we had a routine where in the morning he would (impatiently) wait for me to get out of bed and then run into the living room and jump to the top of the cat tree where he would wait for me to pet him. we really, really bonded.

the other cat and i never really bonded that much. he’s also a bully and kind of terrorizes the cat i was talking about. but he’s my gf’s favorite, and she’s his. so it worked out well. she had her favorite, i had my favorite, and it matched up with the cats’ favorites. i was fully invested in the cats, paid for a lot of their food, vet bills, spent a lot of time with them, considered them “our cats.”

but the fact of the matter is they aren’t actually our cats. they’re hers. they’ve been hers for years and there’s no way around that. so, when i move out, i have to leave them behind. even my baby, who i love with my whole heart and who really loves and trusts me. it’s not fair to either of us. i lose a cat i love, and he loses a human who is really invested in him and making sure that he’s getting the affection he needs and his attention seeking brother doesn’t take it all. 

now, i’m not saying my ex will ignore him or mistreat him, because she won’t, at all. but i do worry that he’ll fall back into old habits. maybe he won’t! i hope he won’t. but i am concerned.

it just fucking sucks and breaks my heart. there’s literally no way of thinking about this that gives me any ownership over this cat or any reason to take him with me. but it feels so unfair. even though it’s literally not.

he’ll get over it eventually and forget about me, but i’ll never get over him. i can (and will) get my own cat in my new place, and i will love that cat. but this is such a major loss for me. i bring him a lot of comfort, but he helps me, too. he’s loving and patient and we’ve really become each other’s companions.

so here i am, losing my home (owned by my ex’s parents) bc i can’t stay here without it being too painful, losing my partner of three years and therefore losing my best friend, losing the support and love of her family who i grew very close to and really relied on. also losing a lot of money, because moving is expensive and i don’t own anything bc my ex or her parents bought everything in our apartment. losing access to a car. and losing the sweetest cat in the world.

meanwhile, what’s she losing? a roommate, pretty much. some extra financial support for the cats that her parents can pick up. she’s barely losing a relationship bc she’s already practically in a new one (we tried an open relationship before breaking up and she fell for someone online (who she wasn’t actively seeking out but met in a discord) really hard, really fast -- the passion i saw for that girl was kind of what pushed me to want to break up, because we honestly never had that much passion, and whatever we did have was gone). they’re not officially together but like... they’re basically dating. so it just feels so unbalanced and unfair and i’m so sad and hurt. 

i’m not trying to trash her or diminish what she’s going through. i know she’s hurt too, even if she doesn’t show it as much as i do, and i know she feels guilty about the fact that she’s kind of moved on already. just, for me, from my perspective, i got the short end of the stick in pretty much every way possible and i’m fucking sad and even a little angry about it.

god i’m going to miss that cat so much. i’m here for another month and a half. and i can visit after i move but. shit man. he’s my baby and i’m losing him

it’s like i want her to tell me, “yeah, of course you can take him with you!” when i make a joke about it to hide the pain. but that makes no sense and if i were in her position i would be like “wtf no that makes literally no sense, it’s my cat” but i still want it to happen that way anyway

[finally100lbs]

lose 20lbs in 30 days or less

Stats 🌱

5’5

GW: 100lbs

CW: 120

I’ve already lost weight to get to 120lbs. I’m live blogging my last 20lbs for accountability. Hopefully this won’t take long...

Goals and rewards 🍃

Pre-120lbs: I didn’t have goals. I should’ve though, bc I’ve been losing and bingeing back the same weight over and over again for years now

120lbs 🔓: unblock tumblr. Tumblr is my only social media, so I had to make sure I worked hard to get it back. Now that I finally made it here, I can share the rest of my journey with you all.

115lbs 🔐: spend $30 on Amazon and unblock Netizenbuzz and AsianJunkie (2 kpop news sites that I visit frequently). I have no business looking at skinny idols who work hard for their bodies until I get down to at least 115lbs. Lose the weight, stay up to date. If your body stays stout, keep missing out. Simple as that.

105lbs 🔐: unblock youtube. I’ve spent years procrastinating work in favor of watching dumb videos all day. Tired of having no entertainment? Lose the weight then! I don’t watch tv so this is a big one for me. Catching up on all the Cody Ko, Drew Gooden, Danny Gonzalez, and Kurtis Conner I missed will be a great reward though. My lowest weight I’ve gotten down to was 110 a long time ago but I immediately binged it all back like an absolute dummy. I still beat myself up for it to this day urrrgghhhh I was so close! Anyway, 105 means that I’ve pushed myself further than ever before and I will deserve a few hours of passively watching a screen and laughing so hard that my soon-to-be-perfect tummy hurts

100lbs 🔐✨: go shopping at the vegan/organic grocery store, try on my skinny clothes (I’ll tell about that in a bit), get my AirPods back. Music is my favorite thing in the world but I hate listening to it on my phone speakers.  No AirPods means no music while I walk my dog either, which is one of my favorite parts of the day along with my morning dance parties while no one is home. Dancing around the house for an hour or two does absolute wonders for my mood and is just so much fun in general. When I get my AirPods back I can return to having morning dance parties, only this time I’ll be skinny and free and light on my feet. Music hits different when you aren’t self conscious about how you look dancing to it...

I can’t cheat and just give myself access to the things I’ve taken away. No weight loss, no getting my things back, no excuses! Everything in this world has to be earned. If you want it, work for it.

Motivation 🌿

I have a folder of thinspo saved that I look at every day

I voice recorded myself reading a list of positive affirmations I made about weight loss that I listen to while I meditate (I may share the list some day idk)

I have my stack of skinny clothes on my dresser as a reminder of what I’m working for. My skinny clothes are all of the tight shirts, crop tops, high waisted jeans, etc that I either accidentally bought too small or grew out of years ago. They are some of my favorite clothes but bc of my own bad eating habits over the years, I haven’t been able to wear them in forever. I donated about half of my clothes last year but I decided to keep these bc I wasn’t ready to say goodbye. I deserve to wear my cute ass clothes. I paid for them and I want my moneys worth! I’m wearing my fucking clothes do you hear me?!

My mom noticed my fat and laughed about it to my sister when I was getting dressed for homecoming. A few years later my other sister noticed I was sucking in my stomach when I showed her my new tank top and pointed it out. A few months ago my brother-in-law saw me stepping on the bathroom scale and he was visibly shocked at the number. I never want to feel another shameful experience like those again. I will make sure it never happens.

I’ve been trying to lose weight since I was about 14 years old but all I’ve done is gain and gain and gain. That’s so many years of hiding my body, taking selfies from the neck up, constantly sucking in, and feeling self conscious. I’m sick of it. I’m done with it. I am NOT going back

The obesity epidemic in America is REAL. It’s almost as if every food company here is personally recruiting people to join the obesity club. No disrespect to those who have already become members but I politely decline my invitation to join you. Thanks for the offer though...

Plan 🌾

500 calories is my daily max. I don’t expect to hit 500 but it’s there for just in case

Every morning I will weigh myself and post it

I will post everything I eat and show screen shots from any apps I use to track things

I am holding myself accountable to reach my GW within 30 days. One month of hard work for ultimate satisfaction. I’m not someone who puts looks above everything else but I’ve wanted this for so many years. Trust me, I’m gonna be hella satisfied and rightfully so! 😤

When I reach 100lbs, my TDEE will be about 1,900 calories a day to maintain my weight if I start exercising moderately every week. If I don’t exercise it will be about 1,400-1,500 calories. I don’t just want to be skinny, I want to have a healthier lifestyle as well, so I plan to keep exercising. I actually look forward to being the skinny girl that you see jogging every morning bc she’s just so hEaLtHy. It should take me a week or two to slowly work up to eating that amount of calories again without a bunch of weight gain after restricting for so long, but then I can stay on it consistently. There will obviously be days here and there where I go over (holidays especially) but as long as I don’t make a habit out of going over my TDEE which is how I got fat in the first place, I should be fine.

Read my daily posts if you want to see discipline and success in action. Feel free to send me some encouraging words ♡. We hitting goal weights in 2019 baby!!!!

[living-dead-parker]

Scary - P.P

Summary: Tony and Steve take Peter and reader to watch the new Halloween movie.

Inspired by me going to watch the new Halloween movie with my sister, her boyfriend and my best friend. We spent the whole time laughing at every scene and I’m surprised no one shut us up or that we didn’t get kicked out, I even started crying from laughter. Halloween is confirmed the number one comedy of 2018. Plz waste your money on it bc i wasted over 50 dollars on it.

Warnings: slight cussing, mentions of a movie scene but it isn’t really a spoiler, some mistakes probs

Word Count: 1k

You don't know how, but you did it. Specifically you, but Peter helped as well. However, it's happening and the excitement is beginning to bubble up inside you. The two of you managed to get Tony Stark and Steve Rogers to take you to watch the new Halloween movie.

"Hey you two little shits, let's get going." Tony says, walking into the common room where the two of you sit. Steve is walking behind him, clutching a black jacket in his hands. Peter stands up, pulling you up to your feet. Tony leads the way, Steve walking behind the two of you, looking down at his phone.

"Why do we need to go? I mean, Y/N is 18 and Peter is 17. They're both aloud to go in by themselves." Steve complains as they enter the elevator.

"Blame Tony. We asked him and only him. He's the one forcing you to go." you inform the old man. He scowls playfully, causing you to return a playful glare. The four of you exit the elevator once it's reached the first floor, exiting the building and heading into the black car Tony has waiting. You and Peter sit in the back seat, Steve taking passenger and Tony driving. The drive is short but eventually you reach the movie theater.

"You know, I could've gotten us our own private screening back at the tower." Tony says, a tinge of boredom in his voice as the four of you step out. Tony looks around, a sigh escaping his lips as he puts on his sunglasses. Despite it being night time.

"It's not as fun." you say, grabbing a hold of Peter's hand and skipping together. Tony rolls his eyes as Peter goes a little too fast, causing you to fall on your ass. Peter turns, wide-eyed as he begins to cover his mouth. You earn a couple stares as you cackle, leaning back on the street.

"Y/N sweetie, please get up. You're literally going to get run over." Tony says, walking up to you and helping you up. You grab hold of his hand, standing up. Peter walks over to you, wrapping an arm around your shoulders, pulling you closer.

"I'm so sorry, Y/N." he apologizes through giggles. You flip him off and continue walking beside him. You all enter the theater, showing the tickets you bought online. Peter walks over to the concession stand, waiting in line.

"Peter, the movie is going to start in ten minutes." Tony warns.

"I know but I wanna get popcorn and some soda." he says. Steve rolls his eyes, standing behind the young man.

"Hey Peter, wanna buy me a box of candy?" you ask, twirling a strand of your hair as you bit your bottom lip. He turns to you, showing you a kind smile, a gleam in his eyes.

"No, buy your own." he says, turning back to face forward. Your eyes go wide as Tony and Steve burst into laughter. You glare at the two old men, showing them you're not having their shit.

"Sorry-" Tony chokes up through his laughter. "Sorry, I'll buy you a box of candy." Tony says as he regains his breathing.

"Mr. Stark. That's kind of you but I'm not looking for a...sugar daddy." you tell him, pausing for comedic affect. He rolls his eyes, walking away with Steve to the theater room you'll be in. You turn to Peter and giggle, hooking your arm through his and resting your head on his shoulder. Moments like these were your favorite, standing close to him weak from laughing and a big goofy grin on each of your faces.

Eventually, after getting your food, you both head to the theater, seeing Tony and Steve sitting towards the middle. Tony already has his seat reclined and Steve is on his phone. Peter sits on the edge, leaving you between Tony.

As you sit back, the previews begin to play. A preview for some random horror movie begins to play, causing you to clutch Peter's arm, hiding your face in his arm. However, each preview passes and soon the movie is starting. The movie reaches a scene where there are a few teens walking together, one of them smoking a joint.

"Why does he hold it like that? Why is he hogging it? Literally nobody does that." you complain, already upset with inaccuracies.

"How would you know?" Tony asks quietly.

"How wouldn't you know? It's common sense." you say, leaning back and watching. Eventually, the beginning credit sequence starts, playing the theme song. You begin to dance in your seat, Peter joining you as you both begin to Milly Rock. Tony sighs, looking over at the two of you.

As the movie progresses, you and Peter continue to make jokes, often laughing more than anything. At this point, even you are surprised that you four haven't been kicked out. Tony and Steve even managed to join in on the jokes, Tony making the unforgettable Micheal Myer's and Mariah Carey joke which caused you to cackle.

As the movie nears its end, Tony begins to laugh at everything. You and Peter are far gone, to where you're in tears. Your laughs emit no sound at this point and neither do Peter's. Steve ends up recording every once in a while, sending the videos to everybody at the tower. Eventually, the movie comes to an end and you four are the last ones in the movie theater, sitting in front of a completely black screen. After a few minutes, you all decide to leave, grabbing your trash and laughing your way out.

"I do have to say, a few of those mannequins had micropenises." you say as you exit the room. Tony, Steve, and Peter all glance at you with wide eyes, giving you a questioning look. "What? They were obviously male mannequins and they had penises, but they were tiny!" you explain as the four of you exit the building. Peter walks over to you and wraps an arm around you, pulling you into his side.

"You're not wrong." Peter confirms, nodding slightly. Tony and Steve visibly cringe, walking further away from you two. Peter presses a kiss to your cheek, a smile tugging at his lips.

"Hey Peter." you say.

"Huh?"

"Mariah Carey was my favorite character from the movie." you explain, causing Peter to burst into laughter, earning odd stares from people passing by.  

Please leave feedback and send in asks or requests. I'm always a slut for friends!!

[nururu]

hope it’s okay to ask, but what’s going on?

It's definitely okay to ask. Theres a lot of lies going on on their side but I'm more than willing to like, live stream my whole entire life bc I have nothing to hide. I'm a person who does my best to be my best, takes responsibility for myself, and puts efforts into others and coping. These two on the other hand.. about 8 months ago I added elliot on Facebook after not talking to him for over 2 years because we used to live together before and had a rough falling out. He messaged me right away and within a few messages said he was homeless and didnt know what to do. I told him that him and his boyfriend could come live with me bc I had fairly cheap bills and had the means to help at the time. I specifically said they could take some time to rest and get their heads together but eventually would have to help out financially. All I asked at the beginning was that they cleaned and bought food. About 5 months into living together I lost my food benifits and even though I was paying all of their bills, I started primarily buying my own food at that point. During this time, I let elliot, who doesnt have a license, drive my truck around so they could apply for jobs and do important stuff. Let's not forget to mention that he would take it without my permission and try to lie to me about it. I also drove them around, helped them find mental health resources, helped them find health care resources, helped them get housing resources, get on disability, etc etc. They had NO clue how to do any of this and I helped them through all of it. I lent them my nieces terrarium for their snake, lent them my snakes extra heat lamp and rock,. Supported them to the fullest extent of my ability. It took them 6 months to find a job. Elliot got a job at my work with my help and quit after a day by just not showing up. He did that with the second job that I also recommended him to. August steals from his job daily bc he cant afford to take care of his pets and has to steal their supplies(petsmart). After 6 months of no job and hardly any effort, I started to get upset and felt used. So I expressed that. I communicated and expressed everything whenever it was necessary bc apparently open communication was important to them but i found it odd that they never communicated with me and never expressed their concerns. At the 7th month of living with me, I witness both of them say that I make their lives a living hell and they have no support system. Forget the fact that my dad consistently gave me money to help support them. My grandma was going to let elliot borrow her car for his drive test and even offered to pay for his license, my mom giving me money to help with them etc.. all in Hope's that they'd do something with this opportunity. The reality is that they took advantage of all of this help and support, and once it wasnt available anymore, became revengeful and hateful and vindictive and blamed me for their situation. Let's not forget that they offered to taxidermy my sisters dead pet goat only to let it rot outside for 3 months and then threw it into an empty lot when they came over while I was at work and robbed me. I have never met people this self centered and this absorbed in their own fake reality in which someone can do literally everything for them and they still cant think about anyone else or have appreciation. I only wish that everyone has the natural instinctual sense to avoid these parasites and not be negatively effected by their existence. No one deserves knowing these two. I wouldnt wish it on my worst enemy.