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#i have to say i saw the reddit post which has a bit of a story in it and i love the contrast of the warm family house and the cruelty and
torgawl · 6 months
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pierro saying "fate grants favors to no one. only those who would fight it with every ounce of their being may earn the right to challenge it" about arlecchino reminds me a lot of that one nicole line, said after scaramouche removed himself from the irminsul, which served (almost) as a prelude to fontaine.
"unfortunately, the fate of teyvat cannot easily be changed. perhaps a god may have a slim chance, but for anyone else… who can say. […] history does not change easily, but human hearts can. believe your own eyes. only that which you see is true. what is unseen is but an illusion." - nicole
this line intertwines a lot with fontane's plot and the monologue arlecchino has in the region's teasers, there's a constant conflation between performance and reality. if it relates to furina because of her story and the fate of fontaine, could it also relate to the duality in arlecchino's character - that sways between the person who reformed the house of the hearth and the fatui harbinger? moreover, her constellation "ignis purgatorius" can also extend her connection or parallel to fontaine's history. fontaine's quest had a major focus on the original sin and the cleansing, and consequent absolvition, of its people. it's curious that her constellation includes the word purgatoris, something that can relate to the place or state of suffering inhabited by the souls of sinners who are expiating their sins before going to heaven or the act of cleasing/purifying.
could this mean something more for fontaine's story as a whole or is it simply an analagous coincidence?
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poppyseed799 · 1 year
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Just remembered I technically have a Reddit account, cuz one time someone posted an art I made onto r/fnafcringe and I got a lot of hate for it, so I felt the need to make a throwaway account to defend myself cuz I was like 14 or something. idk if anyone responded to whatever I said cuz I never touched the account again after posting my response. I don’t remember the username or password.
#that was a very interesting event in my life that taught me a lot about hate#wanna know what I drew that was soo bad it had to be put on r/fnafcringe? shadow freddy with some disappearing purple glue sticks.#because I saw disappearing purple glue sticks and said ‘disappearing and purple? like shadow freddy!’#and the caption the redditor put for it? ‘because EVERYTHING has to be about fnaf’ (sarcastic)#it was so stupid that I was getting bombarded with hate comments for it. to the point I started calling haters Glue Lovers. bc they can’t#stand fnaf fans ruining their precious glue sticks.#anyways! here’s what I noticed about all of this which I took as a lesson that u should never listen to haters!#almost every single person that left a hate comment on it thx to that Reddit post had nazi stuff on their profile#whether it was the pfp or username or the bio. every. single. one. was a nazi.#EXCEPT ONE PERSON#who was a real fnaf fan and didn’t have anything sus on their profile. so I asked them genuinely with sad eyes why they were so offended by#my art of shadow Freddy with some glue. they seemed to stumble on everything a bit cuz it was genuinely really harmless what I was doing and#you wanna know how they eventually decided to justify themselves for the hate? (cuz yes they couldn’t just accept that I didn’t deserve it)#by saying ‘you have to admit the art was pretty bad’#like bro. what.#I was like ‘so I deserve to be bombarded with hate comments for my art style?’ and they told me to get a different style.#I didn’t tho. blocky art 4 life.#another thing that happened during this experience was that I cried.#but what was important was that I never cried from what the haters said#but instead I cried from what my FANS said. every time I saw someone defend me I cried.#so what I learned from that whole experience is that haters are stupid and usually nazis and you shouldn’t listen to them and the people who#support you are far more important to listen to.
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girlbeyondthegrave · 9 days
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I Watched Beetlejuice Beetlejuice a Third Time: More Things I Noticed
Here’s my previous list for those that haven’t read it. Enjoy!
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A lot of people on this post I made thought that the dog in the MacArthur Park sequence was Taco from the Ghosthouse segment where Beetlejuice appears in the audience. I am sad to report this is not the case. Taco is a chihuahua, and the dog that appears is more of a terrier. However, some people on Reddit wonder if the dog is the one that ran out in front of the Maitlands’ car and killed them. I haven’t rewatched the first movie yet to check.
When Beetlejuice stitches Lydia’s mouth shut, she’s more exasperated than afraid. She literally tries to yell, “COME ON!”
Beetlejuice looks so offended on Lydia’s behalf when Rory calls her codependent. Like, “Is he serious right now? Get him, babe!”
Beetlejuice appearing before Delia can finish summoning him furthers the eavesdropping theory I made in my earlier post, and if we go off that theory, we can explain by Beetlejuice wasn’t that bothered by being summoned away at the wedding. He’s overheard Lydia’s desire to take her relationships slow and her reluctance to marriage. (Which is most definitely because of him and the fact that the last living person she loved tragically died—even if their relationship was over before that point.)
In the film, Beetlejuice is the ONLY person that agrees to help Delia find Charles, which we see her do at the end of the movie. This means that Beetlejuice kept his word and helped Delia, and he didn’t keep her away from Charles after the wedding fell through.
“MacArthur Park” plays when the studio intros roll, during the wedding sequence, and the end credits—three times when we have three different iterations of Beetlejuice and Lydia’s dynamic, fun fact. This is meant to be their song, and although the song is about a doomed relationship, this part sticks out to me: “After all the loves of my life / You’ll still be the one.” It doesn’t matter if Beetlejuice gets the timing right. It doesn’t matter if Lydia marries him. He considers her “the one.” He’s always going to wait for her, as conveyed by “Right Here Waiting.”
Astrid opens pages about violation 699 and summoning sandworms via trapdoors. I understand that was meant to “foreshadow” later events and explain why she knew how to do those things, but the terms for 699 are barely on-screen, so it’s hard to catch the part where it lays out how bringing Lydia illegally into the afterlife makes her contract null and void.
When Delores appears at the church, there’s a huge gust of wind, and the Handbook moves, but NOTHING ELSE MOVES with that precision until Delores moves Lydia away from the altar. This is kind of a stretch, but I personally think it’s possible that Beetlejuice saw Delores, and he purposefully sent the book in Astrid’s direction. If we go off my eavesdropping theory, he clearly knows Astrid is a smart girl. Plus, he stopped her from getting to the book earlier, so he knows it’s a threat.
When Beetlejuice has a dramatic entrance or exit, it’s very intentional. He does a whole dramatic couple’s therapy bit for Lydia and Rory. He does the earthquake through the model with a slow rise from the smoke. But we’ve also seen him appear in straightforward ways, too, like how he appears randomly to spook Delia. Beetlejuice controls his entrances and exits, and so his dramatic exit at the end is intentional. He allows Lydia to send him away. He makes a big show of it. Lydia has been manipulated by Rory for years. He’s tried to control her and stifle her. When Beetlejuice lets Lydia send him away and makes a big show of it, he’s demonstrating the amount of control he’s giving to Lydia. He goes because SHE wants him to, not because he can’t stop her from saying his name.
(Editing to say that this post confirms the dog is Tim’s dog.)
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yuri-is-online · 8 months
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Love and Deepspace Timeline: MC, Philos, and the Aether Core
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Look I finished Xav's myths card. I don't regret waiting until I was done with it to post his timeline because the last two nodes have more to do with MC than him, but I am in a state so we are making this to cope.
This is all speculation and should not be taken as fact, I have done two other posts, one on Zayne and one on Xavier and I will not be doing one on Rafayel please see this reddit post by u/joonmin for relevant information about his myths card blah blah blah.
This post is less of a timeline and more here to answer questions you very likely have if you: A) decided to browse reddit and saw people saying Xavier feels like the "cannon ro" [this is a gacha game there isn't one] but have never read any of his memories, moments, or dates B) read chapter 8 and went "none of this makes sense I feel like I am missing something" or C) just generally are confused about L&D's world building and what's up with MC. I have answers for you. Wibbly wobbly soupy answers. This post also has a TL;DR in case you don't want to see me break out the string board and just want the relevant bits of information about MC you won't get from the msq.
SPOILERS FOR ALL IN GAME CONTENT UP TO CHAPTER 8, VARIOUS MOMENTS, AND ANECDOTES RELATED TO ALL 3 ROS, PROCEED WITH CARE.
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Current Timeline MC (i.e. The one we are playing as)
The game starts with MC's graduation from the Academy and first day as a fully licensed hunter. We learn a few things in this first chapter, namely that MC is combat trained, has a rare heart condition known as Protocore Syndrome that has no known cure, and that her decision to become a hunter has something to do with what she experienced fourteen years ago during the Catastrophe when the Deepspace Tunnel opened and Wanderers started invading earth.
Specifically MC describes something burrowing itself into her heart. She feels helpless, like prey, and has a strong desire to never feel anything like this again. Which is unfortunate because I have a feeling a lot of someones are going to be on her trail sooner rather than later.
In Chapter 5 it is revealed that MC has an Aether core fused to her heart. This sort of human experimentation is highly illegal and it is unknown who did this to MC other than our beloved Grandmother was directly involved. Grandma appears to have taken MC away from wherever this happened after the tests started to threaten MC's life.
This is known to Dr. Zayne and Dr. Noah, though neither seem to know more than what Grandma told them. Neither of them seem to fully understand what an Aether core is or what it is doing to MC's heart. Zayne in particular seems to find this extremely concerning.
Uncovering the mystery of the Aether core seems to be what will be driving the first arc so we will not be discussing it at length here. I do want to note that Xavier absolutely knows what it is, while Zayne does not but does seem to know more of the technical aspects of how it is effecting MC, and Rafayel is at least aware of it being valuable and maybe why exactly the people in the N109 Zone want it.
At some point in the past MC met and made a promise to Rafayel. It is my personal theory that this likely took place on Hat Island during the field trip MC talks about due to some of the comments made in Chapter 7.
MC and Caleb were friends with Zayne in childhood. MC's exact age is a bit fuzzy, but the game does seem to suggest she is younger than Zayne. She does not know why Zayne disappeared from her life or what led him to become a doctor.
Comments in Chapter 4 suggests that Caleb encouraged MC to become a hunter. He seems to be very supportive of her, but Grandma seems more interested in trusting MC's protection to Zayne.
On the surface MC seems pretty normal. Her memories from before the Catastrophe seem to be gone, if she had a mother and father or other blood relatives, she doesn't remember them anymore.
Philos MC (i.e. What is Going on in the Myths)
It is revealed in Xavier's When Shooting Stars Fall anecdote that Philos is Earth in the distant future. This has confused numerous people in the notes of my Xav's timeline so I am going to be insufferable and attempt to assist with a graph:
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The MC you play belongs to the game timeline, the MCs (plural each myths card features a different one) in the Myths cards come from the Philos timeline. I have tagged the Game timeline as a "potential tangent" as the events that take place in game are entirely reliant on the existence of the Deepspace Tunnel, which is created in the Philos timeline.
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At some point in the Original/Philos Timeline, Earth's core ceases to function. Humanity replaces it with a new, artificial core that causes noticeable weather changes and fuses all of the tectonic plates together, and begins a new calendar counting forward from the years since Earth ceased to be and Philos was born. As a result, we don't know what exact year Earth's core giving out happened in the Original Timeline. The artificial core allows almost all humans to "live eternal." They seem to be like Tolkien's elves in the sense they can live for an eternity but they start to get tired after a while and give up on life. This is why there is a royal family that needs a line of succession. Xavier is the Crown Prince of Philos, he meets MC in school and learns she has a rare disease called Protocore Syndrome which will not allow her to live forever. He attempts to cure this by finding a specific protocore she mentions, but fails to reach her in time and is forced to watch her die. This all happens in the year 214.
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At some point MC is reborn and assigned to the same teacher as Xavier. She is to train to become his knight and serve as the leader of the Lightseekers, an order tasked with killing Wanderers. At some point during or before Xavier's coming of age ceremony, he learns the truth about Philos: the planet is dying due to the artificial core never having been meant to sustain the planet this long. The Royal Family's solution for this is to occasionally feed humans to the heart of Philos in Starfall Forest. When they do this, it creates Wanderers. As if that wasn't bad enough, Xavier learns that his father and the royal family have found what they think could be a permanent solution: there is a girl who has achieved true immortality. She is the only person on Philos who can die and be reborn constantly, and while they don't seem to know why she does this, the royal family believes this girl is the life force of the planet itself.
This girl is MC and Xavier does not want this to happen. He has a plan that he does not explain to MC, but it involves traveling back in time. He says they have specific places in time picked out, but we know from Xavier's Passing By anecdote that something went wrong with his team's attempt at time travel and now there is no guarantee that the MC he left on Philos as its Queen is still there.
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So now we have two timelines: Original/Philos Timeline and Game/Tangent Timeline. But all of that is just taking Xavier's anecdotes and Myths card into account... so what happens if we try to plug in the other two ROs?
Rafayel
In u/Joonmin's reddit post they mention two very important bits of information: 1) It has been 30,000 years since the sea dried up and 2) MC is a member of the royal family of Philos, not by birth but because "she has a heart that’s been blessed by the gods" and has "awoken from the depths." If all three myths cards take place in the same Philos timeline as the one Xavier leaves, we can reasonably place Raf's myths card after Xavier's backtrack mission.
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So the Philos timeline would look like this. I have a note for Zayne's card there as well, but if I had to get picky with it I'm slightly tempted to place his Myths card between MC's first death and her being reborn to meet Xavier again. The other explanation would be that there are three separate Philos timelines created because the MC was successfully scarified to the Heart of Philos. In Xavier's Myths 6 MC briefly takes a dip in the space time anomaly at the center of Starfall Forest which could also explain MC scattering across different timelines, but the in game spacepedia makes a point to say that there is a chance that life still exists on Philos:
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So it could simply be that MC over there has been stuck in the exact cycle of death and rebirth that Xavier was trying to prevent. It could also mean that when they add that mystery fourth love interest there is an explanation for a fourth possible myths card. Anyway all this information leaves us with a set of timelines that currently look like this:
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This still leaves a lot of unanswered questions. For example, if the Philos timeline is where this all starts, what version of it is? What caused Earth's core to give out in that original timeline? Is Rafayel and Lumeria's existence the consequences of clashing timelines or are mermaids cannon to this universe? What effect on the space time continuum did Xavier's actions have? And how much of this is actually going to be answered in game?
TL;DR
Philos is Earth in the future with an artificial core that started running out of power, and never should have been made in the first place.
The royal family fed some of their long lived humans to the anomaly in Starfall forest to keep the planet running, but then they found out about a girl who could constantly be reborn each time she died and had an idea.
An idea Xavier wasn't very keen on but who cares. They thought that "when the time was right" they would sacrifice her to the rift and leave her there to die and be reborn forever. They also did not think to ask her.
Oh yeah when they fed people to the rift they turned into Wanderers. So wanderers = people as mentioned in Zayne's Still in the Dark anecdote.
Whatever makes MC reincarnate might have something to do with Lumeria, or at the very least the Lumerians in Rafayel's myths card seem to think it does.
In game MC, current timeline MC knows none of this, and has no memories from her lives, past or future. This is consistent across all her incarnations.
Final Thoughts
The only reason why I think this way about timelines is because I watched Donnie Darko in a college theater class. People like to argue about that movie and how it is supposed to be interpreted, but generally speaking they all seem to think that Tangent Timelines and the Tangent Universes they spawn get deleted very quickly, so maybe that's why the game starts by talking about "being able to leave this loop" and why Xavier seems to think something bad will be happening to Linkon City soon.
Chapter 8 ends with Xavier attempting to send a message back through the Deepspace Tunnel to make contact with someone. Interestingly enough he calls this "Traceback II." This sounded familiar to me and sure enough the game starts by mentioning that exact same thing, it is going past a black hole and is what says that line "we are stuck in this loop."
I thought in previous posts that the Aether Core is what could cure MC... but now I think the Aether Core is likely what Philos's artificial core is called... so who created it in the first place? 「(゚ペ)
The Deepspace Tunnel is a spacetime anomaly likely caused by Philos's existence since it was "never meant to exist." So why was it created? And by who?
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lvjyronline · 3 months
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I watched part of Shelby's latest stream and this is what I have to say about it -
First off, she says it's not about her and Wilbur it's about abuse, but continues to make it abt her and Wil. Wil's focusing on other things yet she's still making it about herself.
She also says people claim things that she didn't say, which may be true, but we also know part of this is in regards to thing she's deleted off of the internet - Which I want to touch on in a second, but I digress.
She says she didn't mean there to be shame in people who bite in relationships, but thsi whole time she has MADE biting in relationships feel extremely shameful.
She also doubles down on the "He hasn't said my name" thing, despite the fact she's never actually said Wilbur's name. Her fans have - Not her.
She also says that not listening can be just as malicious as abuse, which is???
She states she's had depression several points in her life, bad enough to "not want to be here," yet she still felt the need to comment on Wilbur's living situation - Which could very well be a big part of depression. (She also states his therapist did say they thought he had depression.)
She states Wilbur bit her in front of everyone they knew, yet no one has come out and said they saw him do it.
She then changes how hard he was biting her again - She states it was "The limit before I thougth he might break my skin" which is contradictory to both her stating he bit her until she bruised and then he bit her until he bled.
She states she hasn't been acknowledged, which is incorrect. She was acknowledged in the way she acknowledged Wilbur - Not saying his name.
THIS is what I wanted to talk about with internet history (sorry I'm rereading my liveblog) - She states that she "Wouldn't have mentioned (the reddit story) if (she) thought people could actually find it." Which is wild, she is a streamer, her internet history is going to be on blast. Regardless of if it's anon or not. People will be able to find it.
She then states, in contradictory to this, that her whole time on the internet has been very well documented. She says this, but then thinks that things she posted can't be found?? Or says that things she deleted aren't true?
Also she says she only cares abt people who are interested in the truth, yet gets mad when people look at it from both angles and not just her side. We have proof of her calling people who claim to be nuteral and just together evidence/statements Wilbur supporters. Proof that she tells her fans to block people who do that.
This whole thing was ridiculous and gave me a headache. But, seriously, like. Girl. How contradictory can you get?
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jolynesmom · 5 months
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hey can u share ur void success story? Would love to see it
hii this is the storytime I promised about getting into the void first try <3
disclaimer: this post is long asf, I like being very detailed when talking about such stuff because you may never know which insignificant detail might help someone + I always liked when people would go into detail about shifting or the void state
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this happened a few months ago. I’m a reality shifter and have been trying for around 4 years and never succeeded for more than a few seconds, so I got extremely burned out with the traditional methods
I decided to research about shifting on tumblr to see if the community is popular here as well (previously I’ve only researched about it on tiktok, reddit and a bit on youtube) and found a bit of general info about shifting, but what has gotten my attention was a person who got into the void state and instantly manifested their desires. I thought it looked a lot like shifting so I read some more
I knew a tiny bit about the void state from shifttok, but I’ve never been interested to learn more until that point. the og post said that they specifically reached the void state by doing yoga nidra so I thought it was a requirement for the void at that point. I didn’t know what yoga nidra was, so I sent the person a message asking about it and went about my day deciding I’m giving up on traditional methods and will start to work with the void state
for some reason I didn’t research any further that day (probably because I was burnt out by my shifting attempt the night before and didn’t feel like ingesting more information)
at night I decided to try to shift again. I drank blue lotus tea and put on a guided meditation. after 10 minutes I get bored and switched the meditation for white, brown and pink noises and fell asleep saying affirmations
I got woken up by my alarm at around 10 a.m. (I didn’t shift) and I tried to get out of bed to really woke up, but I ended up falling asleep until 11:30 a.m. when I got woken up again by my loud parents getting ready for work, so I tried to play on my phone to get more lucid and not fall asleep again because I didn't feel like getting out of bed, but I also didn't want to continue sleeping. my eyes were practically closing by themselves atp, but I went on tumblr and saw the person I messaged the night before answered my message and said they'll post a guide one of these days. after thanking them I closed my eyes again thinking of the void state. I remember saying to myself something like “I really want to get into the void, I can’t wait for the guide so I can do yoga nidra”
for the next hour I fell asleep for 10 minutes then woke up for 1-3 minutes at least 3 times (I was very tired, probably because of the previous shifting attempt) and my thoughts were completely blank;
at some point I find myself in my kitchen trying to make coffee and I couldn't tell if I was dreaming or not because the dream was very clear and I usually make coffee after getting out of bed so I thought I had finally woken up
I noticed the jar of instant coffee was almost empty and I asked myself "why is it almost empty, I bought a new jar yesterday" (I finished my jar yesterday and wanted to buy a new one today btw), then when I went pick up the jar I was instantly hit with the realization that I was lucid dreaming, so not even a second later I threw myself to the ground in a crisscross position to allow myself to fall through the floor and shift to my dr
when I hit the ground I closed my eyes and stated my intention of wanting to shift to my jujutsu kaisen dr, but I didn’t even get to finish my intention when I felt myself being pulled through the floor in an infinite dark void; I realized I entered the void state
I was calm, but really wanted to get to my dr, so I started affirming and visualizing. I felt myself being pulled again through the void, a bit lower, before stopping again
I got annoyed and started thinking of my dr again then started hearing a voice; I listened for a bit then realized I was hearing an argument between yuuji and megumi. I didn't understand because they were talking in japanese, but at the same time I understood the message?? they were arguing about how to exorcise a curse or something like that
the weird thing about their voices is that when I dream, lucid dream, visualize or make up scenarios, all the voices are quiet and muffled in the distance and the tone never changes, but the voices I was hearing were loud and clear as if I was next to them, which has NEVER happened to me before. I think I literally stood there frozen for 15 seconds because of how loud and real (?) their voices sounded
anyways
I was getting annoyed because I kept getting distracted and started saying affirmations and trying to imagine where I wanted to wake up. I couldn't feel my body the whole time, I was pure conciseness.
I told myself that as long as I shift, I don't care where I end up, then suddenly I started to hear more voices including a girl's voice (they were most probably people from other drs of mine).
I got confused and a bit alarmed, so I asked out loud what do I have to do to shift. suddenly all the voices got muffled and a man with a lower voice started talking to me in english. I didn't know who that was and I got confused, but tried my best to follow his instructions. I started to hear noises from my cr (the cars passing my apartment as I live in a noisy area) but tried not to wake up. because of the noises I woke up and suddenly I was in my room again. I panicked but didn’t open my eyes or move my body (I could semi-feel my body, but it was mostly asleep) and literally yelled in my mind ‘I want to get back into the void!!’ suddenly I’m in the void again, this time I didn’t feel the falling sensation, it was instant
back into the void I saw nothing was working I decided to shift to my waiting room because I remembered someone once saying that a waiting room is some kind of parallel located between your cr and other realities and this is why it can be easier to shift there. I intended to shift to my waiting room then felt how my body got pulled lower into the void again, then it suddenly stopped when I heard my phone buzzing in my cr because of a notification
I got extremely frustrated and decided to fully wake up
I woke up at around 1:20 p.m. and was very happy with what I just went through.
thinking about the last voice for a bit, I initially thought it was gojo, but it sounded too different to be him, plus the man was talking in english, so I figured it could've been zhongli from my genshin dr since I scripted english is an universal language in teyvat, but then I thought it was weird that he responded since I'm not very close to him in my dr, but after some more thinking I realized that we're actually connected in my dr so it kinda makes sense to be him, but I'm still not 100% sure, I'm only sure about hearing yuuji and megumi arguing
it took me an embarrassing amount of time to realize that when I was in the void and said I want to shift to my dr and started falling then stopped and I heard yuuji and megumi, I was actually in my dr and I just needed to wake up. I thought I would get woken up instantly just like with shifting methods, but I actually had to wake myself up from the void. my information was very limited because, like I said in the beginning, I only read one or two posts about the void state beforehand
it would also make sense to hear yuuji and megumi first thing before waking up in my dr, because I scripted that when they go in the school to get sukuna’s finger, I would be asleep in one of the offices (don’t ask) and will witness the whole thing
I think the way I got into the void is an actual method; I forgot the name of it but it might’ve been the phrase method, I’m not too sure
it also shows you don’t have to have a perfect mindset as I thought I can’t possibly get into the void until I do yoga nidra for a few days, so all you need is intention and an alternate state of consciousness
additional things (you can totally skip this if you want to)
after I got into the void state that day, I continued practicing the void state and I almost got into it at least 15 times, but instead of doing it via a lucid dream, I used the lullaby and distraction methods because I have a hard time lucid dreaming. every time I would be pulled into the void with these methods I would instantly think of my cr or get impatient and be immediately be pulled out, so I’m working on that and on how to lucid dream more often
I think I’m getting close into reaching the void again, because I’ve been working on meditation and started teaching my subconscious mind not to think of my cr while going into the void state.
the months of march and april were literally stagnant for me with no little to no success because I strongly believe I got the evil eye or something like that. at the end of february I went back to my home country (which is in eastern europe) to attend my cousin’s 18th birthday and I think I might have been cursed by one of the old ladies attending. I would always get the evil eye by them as a kid, but my grandma would usually remove it for me
my manifestations stopped and I couldn’t reach the void again but I thought it was because of work and uni related stress, but then it hit me it might be something else because I literally never had issues with my manifestations but suddenly I couldn’t manifest anything anymore, so I performed a cleanse and now I’m back again manifesting like it’s my job
a few nights ago I tried to get into the void, after like 8 minutes of meditation my body fell asleep while my mind was awake and I could’ve entered the void, but I sabotaged myself because I told myself I needed to go to sleep asap because I need to wake up in 3 hours for work so I moved around a bit and went to sleep
anyways, I’ll try to get into the void again and keep y’all updated. next month I go back to my home country where is peace and quiet so I think I’ll have a better time without stressing about uni, work or the noisy area I live in
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distort-opia · 3 months
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It's strange how differently people from different culture react to famous characters. Even outside of batjokes shippers, I have seen a lot of DC fans of my country just straight up telling that joker loves batman and batman's obsessed with joker. Or just thinking that's he's gay, cuz like, you have a hot Blondie but you only thinking of batman? Well buddy I have something to tell ya. But it doesn't have the same reaction from people from USA, at least the one that aren't from batjokes fandom? Like, they seemed to get offended when someone point out joker obsession with batman and how it would be read this thing they two had....
How do you think people from your country read theses two? Because it was a kind of shock to me see a lot o straight man fans of DC just accepting that, welp, Joker definitely not straight and batman is... 🤨 suspicious for not killing him already. I guess its because the film with heath ledger is very famous here, and the line where he said that batman complete him stuck.
This is a really interesting question, trying to look at it from a cultural standpoint... I definitely heard of or encountered people entirely lacking knowledge of comics, readily agreeing that there's something more to Batman and Joker's relationship. As you say, just with tangential contact with Nolan's The Dark Knight or maybe the Arkham games.
However, I think that no matter where we're from, there's a distinction of three groups, with their own relevant factors, which explain their attitudes (at least to me). There's people who aren't into Batman or superheroes, but who obviously heard of them or maybe saw one movie or two. Then there's casual fans: people who like Batman and maybe watched the movies, maybe liked The Batman Animated Series, maybe played the games-- but you won't find them on Reddit or Tumblr or Tiktok as super active in fandom, just because it's not their main thing. And then there's hardcore fans, people who write and read fanfic, people who post on different platforms about Batman characters, the ones who consistently engage in fandom. But I'm putting the rest under the cut since I got long (with unnecessary psychological analysis, lol).
This is of course simply my personal opinion, based on what I've observed over time. A couple of factors might influence how these groups view Batjokes, though the first two I'm mentioning are a bit more likely to be found within non-fans and casual fans. A non-fan homophobic/conservative individual is still likely to reject actual canon of Joker professing romantic love to Batman or of Batman having to deny more than once he's in love with the guy-- although I guess you could hit them with straight Batjokes, hah (Thomas and Martha Wayne of Flashpoint). Leaving this type of person aside though (which you're more likely to find in some countries compared to others), I think non-fans usually easily agree to a romantic side of Batjokes, or at the very least to the existence of obsession. Just based on the tangential knowledge they have, it's obvious these two characters come as a pair and are defined by the other, so it doesn't take much to convince them. But within casual fans and hardcore fans... and here I'd add someone who's male, homophobic or conservative... well, we start to encounter one big thing about Batman that this kind of individual cannot get over-- projection.
For many men, Batman represents the ubermasculine ideal. He's handsome, at the peak of physical fitness, rich, has the coolest car and gadgets, has got women begging to sleep with him. He's cold and controlling and bad at social skills but still somehow beloved by all. Bruce Wayne has got terminal Main Character Syndrome, and it's undeniable a lot of fans consider him the epitome of the Alpha Male. So if you're gonna bring up that he's gay for the Joker... no matter how much proof you throw at them, they'll employ any and all mental gymnastics to shut you down or prove you wrong. That's not even getting into the guys who project on Joker, and who see Joker as this incredibly cool "agent of chaos" and strive to emulate that; trying to get them to admit Joker has been written as queer for decades (with multiple writers admitting to it) is another exercise in futility. They'll tell you Joker only said he loves Batman to scare him! He flirts with men to throw them off! It's all a tactic... because of course, being gay can only be scary to someone as masculine as Batman. It's the decades-old problem of queer-coded villains which I won't get into. But my point here is that fans who project onto either Batman or Joker specifically for how "Alpha" they are, are not likely to be open to Batjokes interpretations, no matter their nationality. But of course, just as with non-fans, there are plenty of casual or hardcore fans who are perfectly fine with shipping or potential homoerotic connotations. Hell, many times you might get them to go down Batjokes rabbit holes by letting them know about comic or game adaptations. They'll easily recognize the classical enemies-to-lovers trope this ship embodies.
But then again, both within casual and hardcore fans (though it's much more often the case of the latter) you'll have people who have no issue with shipping, who follow comics, who read fics etc. But to whom Batjokes is anathema, because they're too invested in a different way: not in the characters, but rather in showing how Good and Moral they are to other fans, and how they ship only the Good ships. It's the hordes of antis you see on Twitter and sometimes here on Tumblr too: the purity police kind of fan. "How can you ship Bruce with the monster who killed his son?" or "Joker paralyzed Barbara, how can you--" but it's entirely hypocritical and mostly rooted in the current trend of hating Joker. There's plenty of DC villains who have done similar things to Joker, or harmed the Family in similar ways to Joker, but he's the scapegoat right now for multiple reasons I talked about before (Joker fatigue and DC writing him like shit, the pushback from seeing all the alpha male dudebro fans latch onto him and hating that, etc.).
I got way too long, lol. But basically I think these generalized types of fan behavior can appear no matter the nationality, though there's undoubtedly a higher frequency of one or the other in different countries. Frankly, Romania is intensely religious and conservative, so in my country... even among my younger peers it's likely I'd encounter homophobic stances. And purity policing and that way of thinking is more likely to happen among fans from the US, like you pointed out.
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dailydegurechaff · 6 months
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Not to be that person who starts discourse on their fandom blog, but like clearly I need to say this outside of the pinned post bc it keeps happening??
I’m cool with reuploads guys, put my shitposts on Reddit all you want, I’m fine with it. But for the love of god give me some credit when you do??? It’s really not hard to put a link or just even say “this was drawn by dailydegurechaff on tumblr”
This is like the third time the “PSA regarding proper handling” post has been reposted without proper credit.
And like????
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What do you mean you “couldn’t find the artist”??? You had it right already. The artist is Dailydegurechaff?? Do you think I don’t draw these myself? I feel like I should be offended people would assume I’m just reposting art I found elsewhere.
I’m sorry to rant, but lack of art credit is the one thing that seriously sets me off
-- Editing to add further comments bc reddit saw this post: This post was made in a fit of irritation, literally only meant to vent some frustration. I just wanted to complain abt my feelings a bit, not start some inter-website fight. It wasn't intended to be a personal attack at the OP, but I see now how it could be read that way and I apologize for that. The OP apologized to me and added credit which I thank them for. No hard feelings for them, I'm cool with them.
I really have no intention to stir up drama with the reddit side of the YS community, I just want to continue to draw daily tanyas. Ty
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11queensupreme11 · 2 months
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OKKKKAY IDK IF YOU STILL NEED HELP FOR PERCY’S SCENT! But as someone who used to work as a fragrance chemist this is up my alley 😤 you should’ve said something sooner girlie.
Also please note idk why but it won’t let me put the pics with each perfume I’m talking about so I’m putting the pics in order from what I typed
BVLGARI AQVA MARINE… hear me out.. it’s for men 😭 BUT GIRL look what it has… I LIKE THIS ONE CAUSE WHEN I SMELLED IT ONCE IT HAD A NICE SALTY SEAWEED VIBE LIKE SMELL and our girl is called seaweed brain 🥹 and look at the bottle … it kinda matches her eyes
So the rest aren’t best to worst just a whatever and what I remember 😭
Heeley's Sel Marin (unisex) Okay so this one is nice it def got a salt water smell almost like you walking on the beach when it’s sunny and you kinda smell the saltiness the ocean has to offer when walking near the ocean and it does have a seaweed funk to it not as much but it’s there.
Tom Ford Oud Minerale (unisex fragrance) Okay so here is this one… I go shopping for perfume/ cologne a lot so I have smelled this one recently, so I add the description if you wanna read it, if I remember this one does capture the fragrance of the ocean but it does have a bit of “fresh water” but it’s a bit brackish (so it’s between fresh and seawater) so it’s does capture the sea heavily almost like when you go walking during the night and the breeze is blowing in the air and you can smell the ocean a bit more than the day ( that how I see it)
Armani Privé - Bleu Lazuli Okay so this is not like beach or ocean but it does have nice smell (the description explains it nicely ) I know of this one cause I used to buy it 😭😭 the design is so pretty and it match daddyseidon aesthetic too 😭 # bias
Jo Malone Wood Sage and Sea Salt (Unisex) So this one is nicceee I put this cause it says salty in the description but tbh it leans toward freshie and it captures the smell of the ocean quiet nicely but it’s a little woodsy tho and it made me think of her daddy cause of this chapter where Anubis said she got her dad scent all over her (isn’t the mf scenting her or something???). So it made think how they may smell alike but people can smell her dad’s scent so that’s where the woodsy comes in to tell their scents apart.
Sea of Gray
I honesty came across this one when doing my research and the description seems on point for you tbh I haven’t smelled it but what it says sounds like it may be but if has that ocean like feel I am not sure … also the first website I clicked said it cost $22 which is cheap if Percy ever wants to buy it compare to the rest of them 😭 this I couldn’t add the description but you can search them up
Anyway you can see that even tho they have a salty/ fresh water based to some they always have an extra thing added like spice or vanilla so don’t think toooo much on it. Cause even these things aren’t 100% close to smelling like the actual sea. But hopefully the description of them can help you!!
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IM SORRY BESTIE, I ALREADY GOT THE FRAGRANCE FROM HER I SHOULD'VE WENT TO YOU FIRST 😭😭😭
i picked mermaid's embrace from deep midnight perfumes
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literally i just googled "perfume mermaids sirens" and then a reddit post came up and i saw this one listed 😭 i liked the description so i went with it 💀
BUT YOU USED TO WORK AS A FRAGRANCE CHEMIST????? omg i remember your super detailed post about the yanderes scents and that explains so much lmaooo that sounds so cool though!!!
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mcytblrsexymen · 2 years
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Highlights from the Mod chat
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[ID: discord message from fake GeorgeNotFound fan, reading: Every round that passes I feel more secure in our seeding choices The suspense is ramping up round to round as intended]
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[ID: discord message from former leash kid, reading: when i explained this thing to my social worker i described doc as "the uncoolest cool guy to ever exist"]
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[ID: discord message from classically trained drabbler, reading: fuck grian idc abt grian]
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[ID: discord message from a capricious and willful god, reading: the Venn diagram of doc fans and ren fans is a CIRCLE it has been reacted to 8 times with the "this tbh" react]
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[ID: screenshot from Something So Vile, reading I think I just saw somene argue that slime wsa the most autistic choice it has been reacted to 6 times with the sob emoji]
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[ID: discord message from Something So Vile, reading back your sexyman with your whole chest]
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[ID: discord message from SAD GAYISMS for SEXYLAMPNAP, reading: declaring war on my hermit friends over the grian v quackity poll it has been reacted to four times with the handshake emoji]
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[ID: discord message reading: The number one most important rule of sexyman polls is having people who are dedicated to spreadsheets. The second most important rule is ✨consistent branding✨ It has been reacted to with the YesYes cat emoji and the clap emoji, both 11 times]
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[ID: discord message from not a homelander simp, reading: got this is literally the allegory of the cave]
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[ID: discord message from roxxy reading: i voted grian bc i had to go against a quackity fan for techno's honor]
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[ID: discord message from Something So Vile, reading: I'd post on the hermit reddit but I am forbidden do I dare post ont he etho reddit]
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[ID: discord message from undercover weeb, reading: I AM DEVASTATED AT PIX'S LOSS, cry cat scream emoji]
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[ID: discord messages from a capricious and willful god, reading: I know we have some dirty wilbur voters in here it has been reacted to with one laugh emoji]
And some bits of where it all began:
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[ID: discord message responding to a message from a capricious and willful god, reading: man okay the more I think about this the more I think a mcytblr sexyman po... Something So Vile has said: oh yeah I'd run a nomination period first]
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[ID: discord message from undercover weeb, which reads: Medusa need constant spreadsheet enrichment😔 it has been reacted to with the pensive emoji twice Something So File then says: I so do]
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violetasteracademic · 12 days
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I saw a reddit post a while back talking about how “obvious” gwynriel is, with hundreds of upvotes and everyone agreeing, saying that it’s exactly how SJM sets up her love interests, and it makes me feel like a crazy person.
I agree that SJM is obvious with her couples, but for me the only logical obvious answer is elriel. The entire time I was reading the series it couldn’t have been more obvious, and all my irl friends feel the same. We didn’t even know gwynriel was a thing. They barely interact in the books, and even then it’s only vaguely friendly and mostly one-sided. Then I get online and see all of these people who genuinely believe it’s gwynriel that’ll be endgame and I can’t understand how we’ve read the same books.
This is the only reason I question elriel at all; am I somehow missing something? What the hell are these people seeing that overshadows elriel’s foreshadowing? I just can’t see it from their point of view, no matter how many theories or analyzing I read from them. I almost wished I could so that this ship war wouldn’t be so frustrating, but I just can’t.
Sorry to throw this rant at you, your posts and explanations are just very comforting and you explain things so well. I read them whenever I’m worried to assure myself I’m not crazy :,)
Hi sweet anon!
I certainly don't think you are crazy or missing anything, and I'm glad to know that some of my posts have brought you comfort. That is my one and only goal.
I've been getting more and more messages like this in my inbox, and I've been struggling with how to answer them because I've learned that a lot of my thoughts don't really fit in with the fandom at large. I don't mind that other ships exist. I have real life G/wynriel and E/lucien friends that are very chill and wonderful and not knee deep in the online fandom and don't think horrific misogynistic things. I stay out of spaces where I'm bound to see something hurtful, and I scroll so fuckin fast when I see the Elriel community screenshotting and reblogging bad takes cause I *don't wanna see it.*
I'm just a girl, and while I'm honored that this little weirdo's opinion has become of some value in this little comfy cafe corner I'm trying to build here, I don't want to say the wrong thing and make people feel discredited and invalidated. I've learned that people really like being in the drama and venting and focusing on how badly the other side is behaving, which I don't really like, and it often leaves me at odds with my own "side" of the war. But since you are here in my asks, I'll share my thoughts. Please know I am saying this with all the tender love and care in my heart, but I say:
Just let them exist. You don't need to understand. You also don't need to let it worry you. None of us are in control of the ships that are sailing in this war. So for whatever it is worth, I want to encourage you to try to stay away from the spaces that make you feel upset, confused, hurt, or angry.
We are all honestly similar in ways that might be hard to admit. If we are here, deep into this fandom, we are probably connected in a number of ways. Maybe we're a little bit lonely (me), a little bit mentally ill (me), a little bit hyper-fixated (me). Maybe we are easily consumed and obsessed, and don't have anywhere for that energy to go in our real lives and so we live on in a chronic state of escape and disassociation (yep, me).
We are also an exceptionally small percentage of SJM's readership, and we take things as far as a fan could possibly take them. This is not how most readers are interacting with her work. So to see hundreds of upvotes on something, even thousands, yes- it seems like a lot. But it's not actually that much in terms of SJM's actual numbers. Anyone on reddit, tumblr, tiktok, ect, is looking for community and people who share their thoughts and likes and dislikes. I think this is often why a lot of non canon ships actually grow more popular than canon ships, because people are here looking for a road the written story will not take them down.
I don't think it's strange or offensive or unhinged that ships other than Azriel or Elain exist and are popular. I *do* think its a little odd that this fandom has taken the stance of proving non-canon things as canon instead of just enjoying crackships, but I can't honestly sit here and say my posts proving "canon" to try to comfort people who want the same fictional couple as me is not the exact same behavior. I think I'm right. They think they are right. There will come a day when Sarah lets us know what she has decided, and it's out of our hands. But the ships will live on.
I love so many non canon ships, and I engage with them here every day. This is what fandom is for. I think this fandom in particular would be a lot less toxic if we would just live and let live and leave each other be. I am gonna keep making theory posts and writing fanfic. They are gonna keep making theory posts and writing fanfic.
Take care of yourself. Rock the block button. Strangers on the internet do not get unfettered access to me or you or anyone else just because we are online. Set some boundaries for yourself. Lurk where you feel good.
I hope my page continues to be one of those places where you can lurk to feel better. And if that ever changes, block me. I encourage it deeply. I actually feel relieved when I can see that someone has blocked me, because I know they are taking care of themselves and also saved me the time and energy of trying to diffuse an argument.
I hear your frustrations. I know it sucks to want to go on reddit if that has been a fun and comforting space for you, and now it feels overrun and not safe and not fun. Grieve that. We obviously all care very deeply, and that's okay. It's nothing at all to be ashamed of.
But at some point, we are all gonna have to learn to live with each other, because no matter what happens in canon, the ships are not going anywhere.
Take care of yourself, anon. And I hope you continue to find comforting spaces to rest.
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stardust-sunset · 3 months
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I really do hope that more evidence is coming forward soon because I do admit, the fact that both Brody and Trevor are out for the week does seem sketchy. But so does the way that all of these allegations came out. It only seems to be talked about on Instagram and Reddit and nowhere else.
that’s what i’m saying-all of this is so sketchy. maybe it’s inconvenient timing? but there’s so many things wrong with this that point me to believe it isn’t true
First off there’s so many inconsistencies within the posts. Nobody has shown any actual proof other than someone claiming they know where Brody went to college. But since I’m a bit of an ‘I need evidence’ kind of person, I figured I’d check it out. They claim he went to UF but I found nothing about him going to UF online. Second, why is it JUST Brody they’re going after? They’re claiming the cast is “full of r*pists” but they aren’t focused on anyone but Brody.
Second, you think that there would be a news outlet talking about this. I mean, rape allegations are serious and should be handled as such. So it’s weird that Instagram is the first place this all came out. The night after the Tony’s nonetheless. There was no concrete proof either. This chick just said that she ‘knew it and that everyone else did too’ when she was contacted by the actual musical themselves (at one of the producers at least)
Third off is the accuser’s response to any form of criticism. Normally in a case like this, it would make sense to show evidence when faced with criticism and skepticism and be like ‘okay, yes, this is why this happened’ and instead she doubled down and said shit like ‘oh where’s your address so I can mail you a clown suit’ and ‘everyone knows it’ without proving anything.
Fourthly Angelina Jolie is the producer of this. She stands with victims and is fairly open about it. If there was even an inkling that Brody did this don’t you think she’d fire him on the spot? There are also claims of police involvement and investigation but I’ve found no such thing. The original accuser fails to provide sourcing-which is also suspicious. You’d think she’d provide sourcing on where she gets her information but she doesn’t. You’d think she would have solid concrete evidence rather than just doubling down and saying ‘that’s what happened’. That’s the kind of shit you do when like-your sibling hits you and they’re lying about it by saying ‘oh it happened everyone knows it’ without providing solid evidence.
Fifthly, there was another post that the cast was talking about how they were gonna win best musical and everyone else could leave-you saw the video of Brody ripping his shirt off and speed changing into his tux for the Best Actor Award. There was no way he had any involvement in that at least. And secondly, I seriously don’t think any of them had time for that. I really don’t.
Sixthly, I met some of the cast when I went. They were all super nice and when they saw me with my cane they asked me if they could do the face touching thing and were perfectly okay when I said no. And from what I’ve heard Brody is like that too and asks for consent before touching a fan. Heard this from a few people.
It’s really suspicious that this all only comes to light after they won best musical. It’s more suspicious that they’re only going after Brody and nobody else. They say the cast is full of r*pists but then refuse to provide names other than Brody Grant. And there were people that were super pissed that Suffs and Hell’s kitchen didn’t win the Best Musical Award. So it could be plausible that people are trying to take them down for whatever reason. Maybe because they’re men and won. I dunno.
I’m of course not saying it didn’t happen. I was SA’ed when I was younger by my late grandfather. I know how hard it is to want to come forward about these things. But it’s extremely sketchy the way these things played out. I do admit that Brody taking a step back is awfully suspicious too. But I don’t have insight on that and I don’t feel like stalking this poor man’s whereabouts. He could be taking a break-I mean, it’s been a few months. He could be on vacation. Who knows? And there have been many, many times that people have lied about rape for clout. Like the Kwite situation a few years back. Now am I saying this didn’t happen? No. No Im not. Am I saying this is extraordinarily sketchy and that there’s no solid evidence this girl provided? Yes. Yes I am.
I’m not saying anyone did or didn’t do anything until it’s been proven by an actual news source and not some girl on IG. But if these allegations are true, of course I hope Brody gets fired and serves prison time for what he’s done. If not, I hope her IG account gets taken down and she serves time. Accusing an innocent person of r*pe should be just as illegal as the crime they’re being accused of. That could ruin someone’s whole life.
This whole thing is sketchy. That’s where I’ll leave it.
[EDIT] I’ve been looking into it. It’s not uncommon for actors to take breaks after the Tony Awards. I don’t blame him for taking a break. I can’t say much about Trevor though. Apparently Shoshana Bean is taking a break too.
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buffyfan145 · 22 days
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Hello! I've seen a lot of your takes about the relationship between Sauron and Galadriel, so I decided to ask you. Some people keep saying that the kiss that so much is being talked about will be between Gal and Cel, but like why? There's not a single hint that he's going to appear this season, no one even mentions his name, not to mention that he wasn't even cast. Usually in shows somehow try to prepare the viewer to the appearance of a new character or something. I mean it will be somehow out of nowhere, plus it's too early for him. And I think when they actually cast Cel actor, it won't be hidden and they'll say it directly. Anyway I'm Haladriel shipper, but I don't think the kiss will be between them, at least in the classical sense. Maybe Sauron kiss her hand or something like that? Also, I want to add about the kiss between Gal and Cel, let's say it's true, but why is the kiss described as shocking? Like they're husband and wife. And I also saw a couple of opinions that a kiss is possible between Gal and Elrond, which seems even more improbable to me. Like she put her hand on Elrond's chest and some considered it a romantic gesture… but she was literally thinking about Halbrand at that moment! And I have one more question for you, what do you think about the shot where Galadriel is wearing a hood at night and someone is standing behind her, maybe a random orc or Halbrand or someone else? I hope my message didn't scare you with its long :D
No worries about the ask being long. I've actually gotten longer. LOL 😀 I have posted about the kiss before and who it could be with her and it's not Celeborn. I think it's people hoping it's him but he hasn't been cast. The writers confirmed it at SD Comic Con but did say both him and Glorfindel will eventually be in the show. I agree with you when he is cast it will be announced separately as he will be a series regular. There is a chance he could show up in the finale as a surprise but I still kind of doubt it. They're going to have to choose the right actor too, especially with how Haladriel has been and the chemistry between Morfydd and Charlie, which makes me think it could be someone well known that already has a fanbase. I'm hoping for that too as we know she ends up with him and I want him to be likable (also would be great if it's someone I'm already a fan of LOL) and show that she loves him too. But again I'm certain he's not in season 2 at all.
Then I highly doubt it's Elrond, despite some "leaks" on 4Chan and Reddit saying it is, since Morfydd gave an interview at the s2 premiere in London back on the 20th that she loved filming their non-romantic friendship. Her saying that implying there's no kissing like that at all between them, and knowing he's her future son-in-law I can't see the show going there.
So that brings me back to Sauron. I can't see it being anyone else besides maybe Celebrimbor as he was in love with Galadriel in some 1st Age stories before she married Celeborn, but the show would have to get permission to use that from the estate and it seems a bit strange now to do that.
I agree too it could be a hand/ring kiss and I've thought this since the filming video came out for the music in the s2 finale. However, now the show in ep 2.2 showed she's in love with Halbrand/Sauron. Then yesterday we got confirmation from their main director in a podcast interview that by the end of the season she said the show will show that Sauron actually loves Galadriel too. So it's more of a tragic love story as they both are in love but they are enemies and we know it ends tragically and they can't be together. So it's starting to seem possible they do actually share a kiss. I don't want to get my hopes up too high but it does seem to be leaning that way, especially with it being "shocking" as me being a fan since the movies came out when I was in high school I never thought I'd ship them and some still don't see it as romantic, but this would actually prove it is.
So we'll see what happens and I'm sure we'll get more clues each week with the new episodes. And about that scene with the hood I think it's either an arc or Adar. We know she gets captured by them but also ends up working with him. So it could be when that happens.
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preciadosbass · 2 months
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28/7/14 [draft from yesterday]
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woke up at 11:47 to my parents in my doorway. mum started putting stuff on my bed but i though it was just stuff of mine that id left around the house but it turned out she’d bought me some stuff which is really nice. she got me socks [because i only have one non-fluffy pair], slippers [because our dogs hair is everywhere and my pyjamas end up getting the hair all over the house, even after the place has been hoovered], and purple trainers [because beforehand i only had my converse + knee high converse, and they were both getting muddy and causing me blisters when i go on walks.] i feel extra bad about the argument we had last night now.
i was super tired and my eyes still felt like they were glued shut but i decided not to go back to sleep. i got a little anxious when i saw my ex bestfriend was sad so i sent him a message telling him that i’m here for him and stuff. i still care about him so much, even if we don’t talk anymore. i watched a mikey way complication and listened to a podcast with the way brothers on up until 1:20 when i had a nap [im lazy, i know]
i should mention, i had the weirdest dream. so excuse how bad this explanation is going to be. me and kellin [quinn] were both teens and we were at a restaurant. he had tacky plastic skates on and started doing backflips in them? and running on the spot and joking about being chased? it was such a strange dream to have, especially because i haven’t had one in ages. also, my dad was there for some reason lmaoo
i woke up at around 2 and stayed with boris until 3:20 before i had something to eat and started researching a few crime cases. id been thinking about reading a bit of my sylvia plath book but i got in another argument with my parents [not really with my dad] and practically went into sensory overload so i went in my room and scrolled through ed related things on reddit. although i just wanted to have a conversation with them.
my dad lets things go easier, but mum tends to start saying ‘maybe you’d be happy if i’m not here’ and stuff like that, which i have never and would never imply to her. it just makes me feel like shit, she acts like i’m not allowed to be mad. and i feel absolutely terrible writing this, especially because of the whole gift thing from earlier, and i know shes probably just stressed, and i love her, but nobody acknowledges that i am too. they never do, whatever i do seems to anger my mum. anyway, i spiralled writing this and i don’t wanna turn it into a complete vent post, so let’s carry on.
i carried on scrolling through reddit until like 8 where i went on a walk with all of my family [which we haven’t done in at least a year]. didn’t get off to a good start because the second i walked outside my sister dropped her phone on our rock driveway and smashed her phone to pieces.
she was arguing about paying for the damage up until we got to the park when she went back home with my dad. me and my mum carried on walking while we did would you rather because anything else was starting an argument. we ended up doing so right before we got home but at least i walked for an hour today, i wish it’d been more though. also at one point she asked me if i was questioning my gender like WHAT?? why didn’t i take the opportunity to tell her ffs.. when i got home i obviously said hi to boris and then scrolled on twitter for a bit.
one of my acquaintance’s [i call anyone my age that i know that, because i know people, but they’re not nice to me whatsoever, we don’t hang out, they bully me, i don’t consider them a friend etc] was being their usual self again. i try everything i can to politely escape them/avoid them but i just don’t know how. id feel bad cutting contact with no explanation but if i told them all the disgusting things they do they’d deny it. but i know i have to at some point, they’re such a bad person and i’m tired of putting up with them.
anyway, i feel like i seem like a bitch for not liking them, and the problem in every scenario i’ve written about today so let me know if anyone actually reads this and wants to know what makes her such a bad person. after seeing that i listened to some evanescence and i was just about to put on my fight club dvd i got from a bootsale a while ago when my dad said he was ready for me to ask questions about boris soon so i went up to their room.
we actually didn’t argue tonight because i was able to get on with it quite quickly so i did my teeth and said goodnight to boris around 3. he again started purring before id even started stroking him, he’s so precious. also went over my cals by like 60 today so that sucks
have a good day/night -_<
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PSA
Hi there. You. Person who either suspects you have ADHD, or otherwise has a diagnosis but is struggling to find a provider.
DO NOT FUCKING TRUST THE COMPANY DONE FIRST.
Done First is a company that claims to help people with ADHD get help via Telehealth. I was even their patient for a short time, because doctors around me didn't want to diagnose me because I'm "too old" and I saw an ad and signed up out of desperation (don't do this, kids!)
I was able to get a diagnosis an a prescription, but it was nothing but trouble.
They fucked up my scheduled appointment time the first time, and tried to charge me a $100 rescheduling fee until I pitched a fit that I was ON TIME for what I was slated for
I got like 5 minutes with my provider when I was finally able to get a goddamned appointment and I didn't feel listened to one bit
Suddenly, out of the blue, my provider left the company, which left me unable to get my prescription refilled
They flat out never answered ANY of the many emails and messages I sent, despite giving a 24-72 hour turnaround time to get an answer.
They have no call-in number, so I was not able to actually get a hold of anyone that way
I attempted on multiple occasions to schedule a callback but they ghosted me every single time.
Based on reviews from other patients over the last few days, you can no longer even TRY to schedule a callback from them, or if you can it's over a week in the future.
I ended up doing a chargeback on my card because they never actually provided me care beyond basically leaving me to go through Adderall withdrawals because they can't be fucked to communicate.
But it gets worse.
SERIOUS legal charges have been filed against the founders of Done First.
TL;DR: Done First basically operated as a pill mill while not actually giving two shits about the patients under their care, exploiting patients and doctors alike.
As of today, their website is still up, and they will still GLADLY take your money for a subscription despite them seeming to have NO appointments available to talk to anyone on their "Care Team" (more like They-Don't-Care-Team, amiright guys?)
They have this message on their site as of right now, and claim they're still here to help but please, PLEASE trust me when I say they will not help you.
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Done First will steal your money.
Done First will not help you.
Done First is a greedy, scummy scam of a company and they do not deserve your trust.
Don't be stupid like I was. I didn't do my due diligence because I was desperate for care, and I ignored a lot of red flags that in hindsight should've been too obvious.
based on other reviews on places like Reddit and Trust Pilot, they are also just no longer filling any prescriptions so thousands of users are left without vital medication and facing the prospect of being taken off vital meds cold-turkey.
I was fortunately able to get actual medical care that is able to get me the medication I need to live a better life, and an actual ADHD diagnosis that will, I hope, help me navigate life better.
My heart hurts so badly for all those left in the lurch because this company fucked up so badly. Whether it's people with ADHD who need care, or addicts who have suddenly lost a relatively safe avenue to get their drug of choice, NOBODY DESERVES TO GO THROUGH THE PAIN AND SUFFERING AND WITHDRAWALS THIS COMPANY IS CAUSING.
Anyway, I never usually ask this, but if you read this far please either reblog or share this post link with others. You and your loved ones deserve better than this scam.
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eyrieofsynapses · 1 year
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good evening, all. it is May the 25th. our lilacs are blooming, just as the ones at the Watch House did. and I am thinking about remembrance of the fallen, and GNU, and the love in commemoration.
y'know, I read Night Watch… oh, maybe a year ago and some months ago. and the lilac symbolism, the remembrance of the Watch, has always struck me with the depth of the emotion of it, the tangibility of it in the flowers. but I wasn't aware that today was the day until I saw commemorative posts, all that gorgeous artwork and more, on my dash.
I was also not aware, until now, that fans commemorated the day not only because of the book reference, but in support of Terry Pratchett and of those with Alzheimer's. which knocked me over a bit because of course, of course the group that would use GNU to honor him would do that. and… I've been thinking about GNU a lot, lately, and this caught me again.
I read Going Postal a bit ago, and reread it recently. both times, the parts about GNU made me tear up. this idea of the names, the memories, the lives of the clacks workers who dedicated themselves to ensuring that people heard each other's voices—all those names spoken again and again and again by that which they poured their souls into, winging along in the air as they could not, an eternal reminder that they were loved—how could that not touch a person's heart?
when I found out that fans online used it to memorialize him, I damn well cried. hell, I still tear up just thinking about it. do you know, there's a code for an HTTP header "X-Clacks-Overhead: GNU Terry Pratchett" written by Reddit users to put in webpages, where it goes unseen by the average user? and in 2015, when Netcraft took a survey, there were eighty-four thousand websites using it? it's eight years later—how many thousands upon thousands of websites have this now, do you think? how many little cables of light has his name flown along, now? how many times?
that alone is absurdly and unimaginably lovely in its own right, but… there's something else to it. there's something about remembering with the lilac sprigs every year, just as Vimes and those who were there remembered their dead. something about how, when we take up our lilac sprigs, we carry a little piece of the characters in our hearts, too. I kept trying to put my finger on why that makes me tear up the way it does. the conclusion I came to is this:
what greater way to honor a writer is there, but to honor them the way they did the characters they poured their heart and soul into? what better way to say we know you and you are not forgotten and your work and words and gifts to the world are held in our hearts forever than to remember them by their own words, their own vision? how else could we say you embodied all the good you believed in and wished to see in the world, but to memorialize them after the little pieces of their soul they wrapped in ink and put upon the page?
it is a knowing of the writer, to remember them in their way. it is not a worn-out faceless platitude, but a reminder that their work has been read and will continue to be, that the characters and world they loved enough to bring to life last just as their name does. such remembrance is warm and loving and delights in their memory even as it grieves.
and now Pratchett's name has been written in his tradition, over and over and over, across the vast plane of the Internet, where it will—with any luck—continue to fly for generations to come.
there is no way to truly express the beauty of that… but perhaps we can catch a glimpse of it in the lilacs, both ours and the Watch's.
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