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#i haven't actually read the paper yet
writer-at-the-table · 2 years
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Physiognomy is another one of those things we should be looking at critically, for anyone unfamiliar.
The simple, surface-level wikipedia definition is "he practice of assessing a person's character or personality from their outer appearance—especially the face." As a pseudoscience, it is related to phrenology.
Per the University of North Carolina's web project Race Deconstructed: Science and the Making of Difference, "physiognomy suffered from the biases of its practitioners, who tended to attribute positive qualities only to features associated with Europeans."
The same source also says "physiognomy could be used as a justification for treating non-white individuals differently, in society and in law."
There are also connections between physiognomy and eugenics, as well as between physiognomy and antisemitism- the "Jewish nose" stereotype and the character traits assumed to go with it is one example.
Given the ways that Dracula is described, both by Jonathan at the beginning and by Mina and others once he's in London, the connection between physiognomy and antisemitism should not be overlooked.
Indeed there is an academic paper on the subject, titled "The fear of the ‘Other’ and anti-semitism: Representations of the Jews in Punch and Bram Stoker’s Dracula in the light of rising English nationalism" by Stephanie Winkler of Oxford University available free online for anyone looking for something more in depth.
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Hi so is it okay to read novels and start from lust arc, then gluttony arc ect. Instead of reading pride arc novels first? Because my friend wants to read the novels but the time line is confusing for her and I know know in which order I should tell her to read the novels because I don't want her to get even more confused than she already is.
It's "okay" in the sense that this is a fictional series meant to be enjoyed casually and no one should be shamed about their choices regarding how they consume it (even if I do think it leads to a lesser reading experience), but if your intention is specifically to make the series less confusing then I personally think you're going about it the wrong way.
Issues with the timeline aside, Evillious as a series has a lot of concepts and worldbuilding to learn. Who certain characters are, how magic works, how demons work, the nature of the world, its countries, etc. The Daughter of Evil series (the Pride novels) introduces these concepts gradually. The plot of Cloture of Yellow can be easily described as "Fantasy French Revolution with some magic elements on the side"; the demons are barely even mentioned in them. It's mostly a political and character drama. Wiegenlied of Green, being an alternate perspective of Cloture, is able to explore more of the worldbuilding and fantasy concepts while still having the familiar setting and characters (and mostly being a romance, besides). Praeludium and Praefacio are then able to take the same setting and characters in a new direction that introduces yet more mechanics and character development for the bigger players in Evillious overall (like Elluka and Irina, the demons, etc).
The Lust novel then assumes you are already familiar with these concepts and just drops you immediately into how HER works, demonic contracts, etc.
To put it another way--the Pride novels prime you for the rest of Evillious. You build upon the foundation of your knowledge as you go. Like, I'm not going to judge someone who skips them because they find them boring or just aren't interested but I personally don't find "this book is a prequel to X" to be so difficult a concept that it's worth going out of order.
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soupbtch · 5 months
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ummm. my fic is done.
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the-casbah-way · 8 months
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WHY is emailing potential supervisors so intimidating. like hey esteemed academic in the field i aspire to become qualified in do you want to put up with my stupid fucking research project. do you want me to plague you with emails for the next year. do you want me to ruin your fucking life you poor innocent soul ensnared by your duties to inarticulate sleep deprived classics students. god
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sysig · 1 year
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My printer hates me :) (with many thanks and credit to @niennanir as before)
Gosh aren’t they gorgeous tho ♥ Especially the latest and largest, though I have to give all the credit to the paper on that one haha, it’s stunning IRL, I could almost stare at the gold lattice forever rather than read, but I’m so happy with how it turned out between the pages as well!
Quick showcase of the new additions! :D
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My Drinking Game as another test run, I got the spacing how I wanted it! Yay! It’s so much handsomer and less cramped! Also I gotta say, if it wasn’t such a large usage of paper, this would be my ideal way of checking for typos - I found a couple after setting it down to ink lol, they’ve been fixed now at least ♪ Paired here with the emerge, transformed three-parter, one of my all-time-favourites <3 I reread it the night I finished it and cried again, a little bit of tender mercy always wrecks me hhhh ♥ There are so many beautiful evocative lines! I’m so happy to hold it ♪ And as you can see above, that was the one that got the cute little ghost dust jacket :D
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Another test run of what I’m calling volume 1 of my Vargas Drabbles lol, so not including Have you lost your mind? since that one’s currently unfinished. I do fully intend to print it once it’s done tho :3c Hopefully that one will cause me fewer problems! I hate measuring, so I may have flubbed two covers before finally getting this one into good enough shape XP And my red yarn is still in storage so >.> Did I go purchase another ball of red yarn? I’ll never tell. You can’t tell me it doesn’t look great as a bookmark tho <3
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And my current happiest! Ah!! It turned out fantastic on all counts! The cover paper obviously, as I couldn’t Not lead with that, but also the size of the spine and the way the pages settled against each other while glueing - I used a different type of paper for this one and I think I’m completely converted over, it feels amazing to work with. Whatever I was using before had to have been like 15lbs lol, I’m literally just using normal 20lb printer paper but it feels and looks and behaves so much nicer <3 The size of Helix also allowed for a slightly larger bookmark, which was perfect because we had this soft gold ribbon that was all of a couple millimeters wider than the other ribbons/yarn I’d been using, and it looks so so so pretty with the gold detailing!! I’ve put it between Ch. 1 and 2 and getting to see the actual physical size differences of the chapters is so fun ♥
#Hhhhhh crafting is so funnnnn <3 <3 <3#Fully intending to make more - I have the next set picked out and the accompanying dust jacket to go with it haha#I've decided to stick to dust jackets for the plain non-textured covers for the most part#It does hide my detailing on the covers but it also hides if I haven't done anything to the fronts as well! Haha ♪#I added a Captain/ZEX caption to Drinking Game like I did with ZEX/DAX but the latter is still the prettiest by far <3#Their names were made to go together you could say hehe ♪♫#You can kinda see I tried my hand at making a custom cover for the Vargas drabbles as well - it kiiiinda turned out? Lol#As stated I hate measuring and the lines turned out wonky :P But it's done and I've reread it for typos lol#I was worried I'd find rereading my own work cringy since most of those are older than either of my SCII fics but no it was nice actually :)#I did actually go supply shopping yet again for these since I'm having so much fun with it hehe <3 <3#The yarn and the cover paper I used for Helix were both good finds :) I got a whole booklet of space-themed cardstock! :D#That one was one of the lesser space ones hehe ♪ I had a couple other considerations - like a yellow-on-white constellation one ♫#But I think I'm the happiest with this one! It's beautiful and I feel like it reflects the Idle Rich themes a little bit hehe <3#Hhhhhhh it's so nice to read them like I would a book ♥ I enjoy reading them on my iPod but there's something about The Experience hehe#Being able to hold it and place a physical bookmark and not having the glare of a screen or if the scroll goes funny lol#Just exactly what it is! And I can pull any of them at any point!#I actually had a moment where I wanted to read one of them but didn't want to move from my spot to physically go get it#Only to realize later I was holding my iPod at the time and could've read it that way as it's still very much available online lol#SCII#LAC#Vargas
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ace-malarky · 1 year
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1. It Is Said
Sometimes you just. wake up with a definite line in your head (it may have been last night actually but whatever) and y'know, since you're going to avoid doing work for as long as possible anyway, you might as well write some weird stuff to send to other librarians?
idk I have been thinking of escalating the little notes I send back to DB and this! this might be it!
Anyway. have you considered there might be monsters in your library?
~
 It is said that there is a monster in the library.
 There are monsters in most libraries, of course. It comes of having so many books in one place, it is said, of all those softly whispered stories and tales and ideas that float amongst the couches were more pictures have described a journey than will ever be remembered.
 Monsters, it is said, are variations on a theme. They are – well, monstrous. They skulk. They creep, they slither, they lurk. They bear fangs, unleash talons, drip toxins from shimmering stingers.
 Monsters, it is said, are to be feared. They are killers, they are nightmares, they are the evil to be slain. To be defeated.
 To be feared.
 It is less said (it is never said) that all monsters protect something. Dragons, with their hoards and their towers; goblins, with their tunnels and their caves. Kraken, with their depths and their shipwrecks.
 They rarely protect something that is not worth protecting. Everything is worth something to somebody.
 So.
 It is said that there is a monster in the library.
 The specifics do not matter, much. It is there now, after all, and there are very few heroes left to fight it.
 (The damage would be irreparable; have you ever tried to leech blood from a book?)
 It hides when the library is open, when there are people around.
 After hours, it stalks the shelves, it lounges amongst the books. It dreams.
 It is not said what monsters dream of. That would make them something other than monster. Something other than itself.
 There is a monster; do not be afraid. It is not here for you. Probably.
 It is here, as all monsters are (it is said), for one thing.
 Only just for one thing. It is a monster, they are defined solely by just one thing.
 It is said that there is a monster in the library.
 It has never said why.
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themonopolyhat · 2 years
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sees good-looking fic linked on tumblr
no time to read right now
"oh i'll use ao3's handy Mark for Later button"
clicks link
button reads Mark as Read
good job past me!
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enigmasandepiphanies · 2 months
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oh i am so mediocre at what i do
#watched an art video roasting everyone's art and he's right but i feel like i am in the lit form class again#and it's like i love postmodernism and i love art for life's sake and doing what vibes with your creative expression#my art is all for it#but i still care about form still give a fuck about it and still find it pretty and amazing in art like realism#and stylized stuff and yes we develop our own style in any medium and genre BUT FORM IS STILL CONDITIONED#it's fundamentals cause that's how you learn gotta learn the rules to break them#and idk if i ever learnt it#i mean i did but i think i never imbibed it maybe i did imbibe in academic writing and lit cultural analysis but like maybe i haven't gotte#a reality check in it yet#i just wow and it's like i haven't i created stuff in a while but i actually have like my thesis all the letters i wrote to my friends some#poetry lines in my notes app I AM COOKING I AM DOING YOGA gosh ik i am doing sm#but maybe i am not getting the validation i want cause everything is fucking mediocre like brain rots with social media it's so hard to be#to be touched by stuff and actually yet it's really easy cause there's so much abundance of gimmicky things that when you stumble across a#good art you hyperfixate but idk man#i am on my period so#i should write more read more watch more BUT I AM DOING THAT#it just doesn't feel enough like i am just reading for my research paper some poetry book fics watching good movies but also hella lotta#sitcoms and just binge brain rot stuff#I DON'T I HAVE A FERAL SCREAM DUE IN THE WOODS ANYONE WANTS TO COME
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catboybiologist · 6 months
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“As a biologist, the terms biological woman and man don’t make any sense to me” okay then you’re an idiot and a terrible biologist. I swear to god, morons like you only become biologists just so you can hold it over others, when in reality, if biology deniers like you can become biologists, then being one really doesn’t mean much anyway. But this probably just gave an autogynophile like you a boner to read, anyway.
Oh fun! Haven't gotten one of these in a while. Disregarding the fact that you somehow think the qualification for being a biologist entirely hinges on defining womanhood, I do need to ask some clarification. I know I'm feeding the trolls here, but here we go: does your definition of "biological woman" mean:
Sociological woman? Eh, context dependent, I'm not fully out of the closet, but oftentimes, I am and present femme. So let's call that one 50/50.
Psychological woman? Because I am one.
Neurological woman? Because I am one [1].
Physical woman? My soft tissue redistribution is handling that well.
Hormonal woman? My blood tests are within cis female ranges.
Transcriptional woman? As a signalling molecule, the downstream effects of estrogen have broad transcriptional effects, completely changing the profile of gene expression and functional genomics of my cells. [2]
Genetic woman? I mean, see my above point- as far as my genes that are actually active, I have all of the same transcripts being produced, controlling which genes are expressed.
Karyotypic woman? I actually have a few signs pre-HRT that might point to a non-XY chromosome pair, but I haven't had a karyotype. We'll put that down as unknown. And hell, even if its XY, there's plenty of cis women who are karyotypically XY, with suppressed sry or complete androgen insensitivity. Interestingly enough, a completely androgen insesitive woman can go her whole life without knowing- and functionally, is very similar to a trans woman, actually. Fancy that. [3]
Reproductive woman? I can't produce an egg cell, but neither can significant fractions of cis women. Also, this is all gonna change soon, which is fun. [4]
There's also a lot of understudied aspects to the biology of HRT and even pre-HRT that are emerging, largely demonstrating widespread cellular and genetic remodeling of trans individuals undergoing hormone therapy. The field is a bit behind due to constant political pressure to revoke funding, but a lot of the results are extremely exciting in both testosterone and estrogen hormone therapies. I'm sure that, as a self professed biology As someone who presumably has a lot of expertise in biology, I'm assuming that you're aware of all of this cutting edge research, and are keeping up with modern papers, including but not limited to these cool findings:
Trans men on HRT exhibit significant genetic and transcriptional changes that make them biochemically male. [5][6]. It's a good hypothesis that the same happens with estrogen treatment, but those studies don't exist yet- I'm sure you're reserving judgment until more publications exist, of course.
Trans men on HRT develop male cell types and tissues. [7]
Trans women experience muscular and blood cell changes that align with cis women moreso than cis men [8]
And many, many more! This is an exciting, underserved, and groundbreaking field of research, and I'm sure you're keeping up with the latest in scientific journals about it.
I'm sure, of course, that you understand that it becomes impossible to draw a distinct line anywhere in here, and that words like "woman" are shorthand for the myriad of traits that invisibly synthesize in our mind and in society to represent a concept? I'm sure you understand that science is fundamentally descriptive, not prescriptive? I'm sure that you understand that these findings, while really cool and interesting, actually don't mean jack shit about what the word "woman" means or not?
As someone who is the ultimate decider in what a biologist is, I'm sure you know that bioessentiallism is a childish mindset that completely ignores and disregards the constantly changing, dynamic nature of biological systems, something that extends well beyond biological sex and its relation to gender.
I'm sure that also, that you understand that beyond just this, that the role of science in society is to advise how to achieve our moral principles, not create moral principles in themselves. And I'm sure that understanding means you know that trans affirming healthcare and supportive societal treatment leads to reduced mortality and increased happiness for everyone, right?
So great to talk to someone who is surely a scientist on this. You are a biologist, if you're talking like this, I assume? I assume you're not going to spit complete misreadings of scientific language from the background sections of these papers that only reveal you've never read a scientific paper in your life if you're thinking this way? I assume you have experience interpreting data like this?
Also, imagining my genitalia while writing this? Ew. Please stop projecting your fetishes into my inbox.
Works cited:
Kurth F, Gaser C, Sánchez FJ, Luders E. Brain Sex in Transgender Women Is Shifted towards Gender Identity. J Clin Med. 2022 Mar 13;11(6):1582. doi: 10.3390/jcm11061582. PMID: 35329908; PMCID: PMC8955456.
Fuentes N, Silveyra P. Estrogen receptor signaling mechanisms. Adv Protein Chem Struct Biol. 2019;116:135-170. doi: 10.1016/bs.apcsb.2019.01.001. Epub 2019 Feb 4. PMID: 31036290; PMCID: PMC6533072.
Gottlieb B, Trifiro MA. Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome. 1999 Mar 24 [Updated 2017 May 11]. In: Adam MP, Feldman J, Mirzaa GM, et al., editors. GeneReviews® [Internet]. Seattle (WA): University of Washington, Seattle; 1993-2024. Available from: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK1429/
Murakami, K., Hamazaki, N., Hamada, N. et al. Generation of functional oocytes from male mice in vitro. Nature 615, 900–906 (2023). https://doi.org/10.1038/s41586-023-05834-x
Pallotti F, Senofonte G, Konstantinidou F, Di Chiano S, Faja F, Rizzo F, Cargnelutti F, Krausz C, Paoli D, Lenzi A, Stuppia L, Gatta V, Lombardo F. Epigenetic Effects of Gender-Affirming Hormone Treatment: A Pilot Study of the ESR2 Promoter's Methylation in AFAB People. Biomedicines. 2022 Feb 16;10(2):459. doi: 10.3390/biomedicines10020459. PMID: 35203670; PMCID: PMC8962414.
Florian Raths, Mehran Karimzadeh, Nathan Ing, Andrew Martinez, Yoona Yang, Ying Qu, Tian-Yu Lee, Brianna Mulligan, Suzanne Devkota, Wayne T. Tilley, Theresa E. Hickey, Bo Wang, Armando E. Giuliano, Shikha Bose, Hani Goodarzi, Edward C. Ray, Xiaojiang Cui, Simon R.V. Knott, The molecular consequences of androgen activity in the human breast, Cell Genomics, Volume 3, Issue 3, 2023, 100272, ISSN 2666-979X, https://doi.org/10.1016/j.xgen.2023.100272. (https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2666979X23000320)
Xu R, Diamond DA, Borer JG, Estrada C, Yu R, Anderson WJ, Vargas SO. Prostatic metaplasia of the vagina in transmasculine individuals. World J Urol. 2022 Mar;40(3):849-855. doi: 10.1007/s00345-021-03907-y. Epub 2022 Jan 16. PMID: 35034167.
Harper J, O'Donnell E, Sorouri Khorashad B, McDermott H, Witcomb GL. How does hormone transition in transgender women change body composition, muscle strength and haemoglobin? Systematic review with a focus on the implications for sport participation. Br J Sports Med. 2021 Aug;55(15):865-872. doi: 10.1136/bjsports-2020-103106. Epub 2021 Mar 1. PMID: 33648944; PMCID: PMC8311086.
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burntoutdaydreamer · 11 months
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Things That May Be Causing Your Writer's Block- and How to Beat Them
I don't like the term 'Writer's Block' - not because it isn't real, but because the term is so vague that it's useless. Hundreds of issues all get lumped together under this one umbrella, making writer's block seem like this all-powerful boogeyman that's impossible to beat. Worse yet, it leaves people giving and receiving advice that is completely ineffective because people often don't realize they're talking about entirely different issues.
In my experience, the key to beating writer's block is figuring out what the block even is, so I put together a list of Actual Reasons why you may be struggling to write:
(note that any case of writer's block is usually a mix of two or more)
Perfectionism (most common)
What it looks like:
You write one sentence and spend the next hour googling "synonyms for ___"
Write. Erase. Write. Rewrite. Erase.
Should I even start writing this scene when I haven't figured out this one specific detail yet?
I hate everything I write
Cringing while writing
My first draft must be perfect, or else I'm a terrible writer
Things that can help:
Give yourself permission to suck
Keep in mind that nothing you write is going to be perfect, especially your first draft
Think of writing your first/early drafts not as writing, but sketching out a loose foundation to build upon later
People write multiple drafts for a reason: write now, edit later
Stop googling synonyms and save that for editing
Write with a pen to reduce temptation to erase
Embrace leaving blank spaces in your writing when you can't think of the right word, name, or detail
It's okay if your writing sucks. We all suck at some point. Embrace the growth mindset, and focus on getting words on a page
Lack of inspiration (easiest to fix)
What it looks like:
Head empty, no ideas
What do I even write about???
I don't have a plot, I just have an image
Want to write but no story to write
Things that can help:
Google writing prompts
If writing prompts aren't your thing, instead try thinking about what kind of tropes/genres/story elements you would like to try out
Instead of thinking about the story you would like to write, think about the story you would like to read, and write that
It's okay if you don't have a fully fleshed out story idea. Even if it's just an image or a line of dialogue, it's okay to write that. A story may or may not come out of it, but at least you got the creative juices flowing
Stop writing. Step away from your desk and let yourself naturally get inspired. Go for a walk, read a book, travel, play video games, research history, etc. Don't force ideas, but do open up your mind to them
If you're like me, world-building may come more naturally than plotting. Design the world first and let the story come later
Boredom/Understimulation (lost the flow)
What it looks like:
I know I should be writing but uugggghhhh I just can'tttttt
Writing words feels like pulling teeth
I started writing, but then I got bored/distracted
I enjoy the idea of writing, but the actual process makes me want to throw my laptop out the window
Things that can help:
Introduce stimulation: snacks, beverages, gum, music such as lo-fi, blankets, decorate your writing space, get a clickity-clackity keyboard, etc.
Add variety: write in a new location, try a new idea/different story for a day or so, switch up how you write (pen and paper vs. computer) or try voice recording or speech-to-text
Gamify writing: create an arbitrary challenge, such as trying to see how many words you can write in a set time and try to beat your high score
Find a writing buddy or join a writer's group
Give yourself a reward for every writing milestone, even if it's just writing a paragraph
Ask yourself whether this project you're working on is something you really want to be doing, and be honest with your answer
Intimidation/Procrastination (often related to perfectionism, but not always)
What it looks like:
I was feeling really motivated to write, but then I opened my laptop
I don't even know where to start
I love writing, but I can never seem to get started
I'll write tomorrow. I mean next week. Next month? Next month, I swear (doesn't write next month)
Can't find the time or energy
Unreasonable expectations (I should be able to write 10,000 words a day, right????)
Feeling discouraged and wondering why I'm even trying
Things that can help:
Follow the 2 min rule (or the 1 paragraph rule, which works better for me): whenever you sit down to write, tell yourself that you are only going to write for 2 minutes. If you feel like continuing once the 2 mins are up, go for it! Otherwise, stop. Force yourself to start but DO NOT force yourself to continue unless you feel like it. The more often you do this, the easier it will be to get started
Make getting started as easy as possible (i.e. minimize barriers: if getting up to get a notebook is stopping you from getting started, then write in the notes app of your phone)
Commit to a routine that will work for you. Baby steps are important here. Go with something that feels reasonable: every day, every other day, once a week, twice a week, and use cues to help you remember to start. If you chose a set time to write, just make sure that it's a time that feels natural to you- i.e. don't force yourself to writing at 9am every morning if you're not a morning person
Find a friend or a writing buddy you can trust and talk it out or share a piece of work you're proud of. Sometimes we just get a bit bogged down by criticism- either internal or external- and need a few words of encouragement
The Problem's Not You, It's Your Story (or Outline (or Process))
What it looks like:
I have no problems writing other scenes, it's just this scene
I started writing, but now I have no idea where I'm going
I don't think I'm doing this right
What's an outline?
Drowning in documents
This. Doesn't. Make. Sense. How do I get from this plot point to this one?!?!?! (this ColeyDoesThings quote lives in my head rent free cause BOY have I been there)
Things That Can Help:
Go back to the drawing board. Really try to get at the root of why a scene or story isn't working
A part of growing as a writer is learning when to kill your darlings. Sometimes you're trying to force an idea or scene that just doesn't work and you need to let it go
If you don't have an outline, write one
If you have an outline and it isn't working, rewrite it, or look up different ways to structure it
You may be trying to write as a pantser when you're really a plotter or vice versa. Experiment with different writing processes and see what feels most natural
Study story structures, starting with the three act structure. Even if you don't use them, you should know them
Check out Ellen Brock on YouTube. She's a professional novel editor who has a lot of advice on writing strategies for different types of writers
Also check out Savage Books on YouTube (another professional story editor) for advice on story structure and dialogue. Seriously, I cannot recommend this guy enough
Executive Dysfunction, Usually From ADHD/Autism
What it looks like:
Everything in boredom/understimulation
Everything in intimidation/procrastination
You have been diagnosed with and/or have symptoms of ADHD/Autism
Things that can help:
If you haven't already, seek a diagnosis or professional treatment
Hire an ADHD coach or other specialist that can help you work with your brain (I use Shimmer; feel free to DM me for a referral)
Seek out neurodiverse communities for advice and support
Try body doubling! There's lot's of free online body doubling websites out there for you to try. If social anxiety is a barrier, start out with writing streams such as katecavanaughwrites on Twitch
Be aware of any sensory barriers that may be getting in the way of you writing (such as an uncomfortable desk chair, harsh lighting, bad sounds)
And Lastly, Burnout, Depression, or Other Mental Illness
What it looks like:
You have symptoms of burnout or depression
Struggling with all things, not just writing
It's more than a lack of inspiration- the spark is just dead
Things that can help:
Forget writing for now. Focus on healing first.
Seek professional help
If you feel like it, use writing as a way to explore your feelings. It can take the form of journaling, poetry, an abstract reflection of your thoughts, narrative essays, or exploring what you're feeling through your fictional characters. The last two helped me rediscover my love of writing after I thought years of depression had killed it for good. Just don't force yourself to do so, and stop if it takes you to a darker place instead of feeling cathartic
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longroadstonowhere · 11 months
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hm
maybe i need to pause doing schoolwork for a second
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inkskinned · 11 months
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in the time loop the only way out is to leave her there but you don't ever leave her there, never in the roughly one thousand years you have been in the same day. it is probably like "50 first dates" but you haven't stooped so low as to watch "50 first dates" yet. (but who is to say what another thousand years of the same media will bring to you, maybe you will develop a new taste).
you spent about 200 of these years sulking in a bathtub or on the couch or staring at the seaside. 300 of them have been spent slowly mapping the geographical distance you can actually get before the time loop restarts. you have a list of favorite places: one library in Western Massachusetts called "The Bookmill", which has weird hours and has never raised an eyebrow to you arriving out-of-breath and panting, asking to see a specific book on a specific shelf. There is one beach without a name in North Carolina; it is an accident of geography and ownership title disputes - and it is pristine, untouched, warm and cozy. you've taken her on a lot of picnics there. Acadia National Park. One specific birdhouse in the mountains.
you were stuck in the time loop with the money you entered it with: not enough to rent a private jet. you've robbed a bank a few times, you don't like the way it ends. maybe next century you'll get the hang of it. you don't like the look on her face when you say hang on i have to stop at the bank.
you just have to leave her, and you can go back to being a person again. you took 5 years just catching a flight and sitting in the Grand Canyon. if there's one thing you regret more than anything, it's that you hadn't gotten your passport renewed before this fucking time loop. maybe you should spend some time learning forgery - but also, like, you look like an english teacher. nobody is going to be cool about you asking to see their paper printing machines.
the world is very big. that is one of the things groundhog day gets wrong. there are no consequences, so you have literally all the time (or none of the time?) in the world. in groundhog day, he does a lot of very cool things, but in reality - your muscle memory never gets better. you can't necessarily learn how to play piano or sculpt ice, because your hands never remember the practice. but hey - maybe you'll try violin next. drums. synth.
you can open any door and walk into any conversation. money isn't really an object. you can try every meal off every menu, forever. take her on helicopter tours and into every museum and on every event that is happening right-now at-this-moment. parades and funerals and calligraphy classes.
but you are somewhat trapped by the limitations of your body. if you were reading a book, you still need to get up and go back to the library and find that book again when the day resets. (thank god for the internet). it still takes like 2 hours to board a plane, and then takeoff and landing and traffic. you've gotten off to run around on the freeway. one of the little thankful things: since your brain isn't actually developing (it's a muscle too), the days thankfully don't feel shorter to you. that would be agony.
all you have to do to leave the timeloop is let that man get away with it. that's all. in every version of yourself - forever - you have stopped him.
the problem is that this experience has convinced you of the existence of the human soul. after all, how else are you forming memories? your very cells reset. information has to be transferred somehow. and if timeloops are real, you can convince yourself other magic exists. so you have two choices here: this hell, or the next. there might be a millennia where you have been worn down to the point you can accept fate's decision. this is just not one of them. ironically - she is the one thing you have left.
and besides! if you can't always find something new in your partner, aren't you failing them? there is something new about her, every day with the same morning. every brutal day with the same orange sunset.
after all, you wanted to live with her in heaven, in eternity, and, well - isn't this second-best.
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humandisastersquad · 2 years
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hey UK followers, go get your covid boosters ASAP before these bastards take away yet another covid protection. jfc
EDIT: ffs can y'all read the tweet and the actual article, not just the headline, it says how it's 'healthy under-50s' that they're cutting access to boosters for and eventually first and second doses. Yeah, most people who would have gotten them would have by now but there's many reasons that some people haven't and these options should still be open regardless.
This bullshit approach of taking away even the vax part of "vax and relax" is going to kill and disable people. It even quotes the fuckign health minister saying "as the transition continues away from a pandemic emergency response towards pandemic recovery". THERE IS NO RECOVERY WHEN SAID PANDEMIC IS STILL GOING!!!
and YES i know the sun is a murdoch rag that's lower quality than used toilet paper but i shared this particular tweet as a) the tweeter is a reliable and staunch anti-covid advocate and b) for once this piece of shit news source is telling the truth
finally, for those saying that this isn't a big deal as "most people are fully vaccinated", think again. Most vaccine immunity wanes after several months so defining "full vaccination" as having had a primary course nearly 2 years ago is outdated and lulling people into a false sense of security. In an ideal, science-informed, non-covid-minimiser world, we'd be having boosters every 4-6 months so that antibodies don't fall below effective levels.
Basically, this post should be a wake up call to those who haven't gotten their booster if they're eligible for it and for everyone to realise how much more fucked the approach to the pandemic is becoming. not only in the UK but everywhere else tbh
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sturngirly · 4 months
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–‘Paper stars’– Chris sturniolo.
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in which... your boyfriend chris finds out you've got a praise kink.
warnings: none, suggestive at the end!!
‘hi lol, this is based on this meme chris reposted on instagram stories’
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– ... you think is weird? – i ask in fear of freaking out my boyfriend chris, we haven't been dating for too long, we've been together for 3 weeks but we've been friends for about a year and a half, we haven't done anything beyond making out and now we are playing a game of questions, his question being if i have something i haven't told him yet.
– that you have a praise kink? no, i don't think it's weird, why would i? – he says looking at me with an expression i can't quite read.
– I don't know you're looking at me funny – i say honestly, chris is a really expressive guy and i can tell almost every time how he feels just by looking at his face but now he looks like he is deep in thought.
– it's your turn now, dude –
– oh yeah, what is something YOU haven't told me yet? – i question pointing at chris and a little louder when I say ‘you’ tilting my head when i see the same boy scratching his neck bringing his eyes at the ceiling looking like he's searching for an answer.
– ... i also have a praise kink – he says bringing his face to the side almost like trying to hide it.
– ... you do? – you question, you always thought chris looked like the type of guy to be more into degrading which makes you surprised by his answer.
– yeah, ya seem surprised by that... y'know what? I could show you right now – you didn't know what chris had under his sleeve, he was always full of random ass scenarios that no one would've guessed was on his mind.
i watched as the blue eyed boy got up from his position on the floor and started walking towards his bedside table opening the first drawer and grabbing something from it, i couldn't see what it was until chris turned around facing me... it was a paper full of bright yellow stars.
– what are you implying?... – i said completely confused about what chris was thinking.
– imma start giving ya paper stars for every thing you do good – he replies giggling at himself and the face that i give him after he answers.
– ... i swear you're not real, you are a complete idiot – i say as chris begins laughing non stop at his stupid joke making me start laughing with him, repeatedly hitting the floor with my fist while chris has to support himself with his bed to not fall to the ground in tears by how much he's laughing.
– oh my god... that was funny... okay – i say as i try to catch my breath.
– HELL YEAH, as soon as you confessed that I was thinking about doing it – chris says making me feel more calm knowing that it wasn't that he thought i was weird and that he was just trying to think something funny to say.
we start to get quiet and before i can say anything chris slowly gets on top of me beginning to caress the left side of my face with one of his hands while the other one holds my waist.
– seriously tho, i could start doing it... but you'll have to be a good girl, yeah? – he says giving me a smirk and sleepy eyes making my cheeks get the reddest they've ever been while i mumble something unable to get words out because of how flustered i got.
– cat got ya tongue kid? –
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WHAT DO WE THINK? this is my first time ever posting a fanfic on tumblr and i actually don't love this but I really hope y'all do!!
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AITA for not having time to read my mutual's writing?
Met a mutual on here, bonded through fanfic, have been tight with them for a few years with pretty much no bumps in the relationship, just overall had a really good time hanging around them when I could. We both write a lot and share our writing, and occasionally we talk about that writing/workshop it in passing.
In the past few years I've gone through a ton of life changes. Most notably I went from a multi-person household to a single-person one, and I've been living alone in a prohibitively costly city for a while now working 40 hour weeks and barely scraping by. As soon as the transition started I spent the last of my free income on a shitty little laptop so I could still write, putting down words on my bus/train commutes in the morning and quite literally writing on my breaks at work because I feel insane when I can't create. I bring this up to really stress that I don't have the time for the hobby, I force myself to make the time and even then it never feels like enough.
The only thing I can really stand to do with my 3 hours of free time at night is hang out with my moots online. I'm an extrovert so being around people recharges me. If I don't have designated social time I get super depressed and can pretty much feel my soul withering away. I also feel like I should probably mention that I kinda have a slew of mental issues, personality disorders and PTSD and AuDHD and the works. Point being, shit is rough my dude, but I am a person who likes to work hard and face challenges head on and even though we strugglin, we doing it with a positive outlook.
But! I am an incredibly solution-oriented person and I have found what I personally believe to be a good balance. No one should have to live like this, but I do, and I have found a way to be happy. My writing and my social time is all load-bearing. It is not something I just choose to do on a whim, it's all planned and scheduled and I adhere to those routines very strictly because, I cannot stress this enough, I will go fucking bonkers if I don't.
I'm mutuals with a lot of writers obv, and I sadly don't have time to read their work anymore, unless I get some extra time on my days off or something gets cancelled or like, I end up taking a vacation. I carry a great amount of guilt for this, though, even though I logically know it's reasonable. I try to support them where I can, cheer them on when I see them writing and tell them how cool their ideas sound, hype them up even when I can't actually read & review.
One of the things I do is sometimes I leave a kudos on fic I haven't read. I'm not trying to be ingenuine, and if they asked me I'd tell them like 'Oh I didn't read it yet, just wanted to show support!' but to me it's kinda like ripping a paper tab off a poster so that other's feel inclined to do the same. Plus my pals get a little email and a hit of serotonin.
Except one of my acquaintances, the one I mentioned at the start here, saw that I left kudos on a couple pieces another mutual of mine wrote this year. They more or less blew up my DMs with a ton of accusatory (like, literally presented like a 'GOTCHA!') stuff about how I was selective in who's fic I read, more or less implying that I secretly held some sort of grudge or negative feeling toward them and was making the conscious decision not to read or interact with their writing because of. Something, I don't actually know what they were trying to say. They also told me they vented to their friends about this MULTIPLE times, but they never once approached me to let me know they were feeling paranoid or neglected, they literally just took the most bad faith reading of it possible and then presented that to me like it was something I intentionally did, while the whole time I was unaware.
I tried to explain to them the kudos thing, that I didn't do it to every story, just ones I caught/noticed in my busy schedule. And I laid all this out and asked, multiple times, what free time am I supposed to read with? They didn't answer, and doubled down, kept trying to show me 'proof' that I was shorting them and no one else. Once they started to realize how wrong they were they backed down, but they didn't really apologize, or admit they were wrong, and they tried to end our relationship and left every single server we were in together. Because of some other unrelated stuff going on in my life, I didn't really consider them to be a close friend, but they were someone I really held dear and would've walked through hell for if they'd asked.
I still feel like there is something I'm missing here, and that's why I wanted to ask if I'm TA. I'm a pretty good communicator but one of the things I told myself when talking down my disordered thoughts (guilt about this prior) was "no one in their right mind would use reading fanfic as a metric for friendship." Now that I've had that exact thing happen, I'm starting to think maybe those thoughts weren't so disordered. Maybe this IS a big deal, and I should think about it more, but I don't even know what the solution to that would be. I just. Don't have time to read something lovingly crafted and appreciate it for what it is. All the hours in my week are used up, I'd have to lose sleep for this and with my mental health the way it is that is not an option.
Feel free to be a brutal, my skin is thick. Thanks!
What are these acronyms?
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headspace-hotel · 1 year
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I've started to actually get excited for school starting, I spend a lot of time online reading scientific papers about my favorite weeds, and I think I want to study weeds forever.
Apparently it's an ongoing mystery why dandelions in North America are so diverse, when all dandelions that have been found so far are apomicts that reproduce only by cloning themselves.
However, any given site will have many distinct dandelion genotypes, with many different traits.
For example, a site might have one dandelion strain that blooms primarily in fall, and another that blooms primarily in spring.
One theory is that there's new genetic information constantly coming in from Eurasia somehow. Apparently dandelion seeds can spread on the wind 150 KILOMETERS! Perhaps some are just blown across the ocean in a storm? But if that's the case, why weren't dandelions found all over North America already when European settlers came?
The other theories are that there are sexually reproducing dandelions here that we just haven't found yet, and that they somehow make new diversity very rapidly purely through mutations and recombination and such.
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