#i haven't cried in front of anyone since i was 13.

[fabulouslygaybean]

crying in public is so fucking embarrassing

[en-vys]

Baby Nanami being a Daddy’s girl and won’t let anyone else hold her except him

When he leaves for work she literally cries until she can’t and momma has to put Nanami on facetime so she’ll be happy

girl dad nanami.

5:13 AM - an hour after birth

"I'M A FATHER now." nanami sighs, looking down at his daughter in content, "nanami my turn." gojo sighs impatiently tapping his shoe on the ground repetitively. geto being by your side, caressing your hand smiling.

"congrats on your successful birth. we are blessed to have you at our hands again." he squeezes your hand, you clear your throat before responding. "thanks geto, but it's not like I died and came back to life." he tilts his head to the side, questioning the matter.

"c'mon nanami! quit bein' selfish! we know its your kid but we wanna see the girl!" shoko starts stomping on the floor, gojo following in suit.

9:20 PM - 5 years after birth.

"baby please go to sleep.." you groan, trying to soothe your 5 year old daughter. as she starts sobbing into nanami's dress shirt, "daddy!! ! want my daddy!!!"

you shake your head, "daddy's at work hun.. busy doing whatever to curses." "i-is he safe mama?" your daughter whimpers, snuggling into you. "yes he is baby, hes a very strong daddy." "okay.".

you smile snapping a picture of your daughter in namami's dress shirt, being way too big for her, sitting in front of the garage door awaiting her fathers return.

silly woman. 🩵

ATTACHMENT 1...

your baby misses you nana..

silly man. 🤎

i'm not busy, i could call right now if

you’d like to do so 😄

INCOMING CALL... SILLY MAN.

you get your daughters attention, dabbing her face dry with a soft cloth. "baby your daddy wanted to facetime you!" her face automatically lights up, stumbling a little but still running towards her mother.

"daddy?" your now smiling daughter, grasps onto the phone. "hi princess, how have you been? you better have not been giving your mother a hard time. thats not something i would've wanted."

your daughter starts frowning, "I haven't! you can ask mommy!" she pleads, looking at you sympathetically. "shes been behaving, shes been a very good girl." patting her head.

she smiles, and darts off. phone in hand as shes talking to nanami, telling him about her day. you can hear her from downstairs running around and giggling about.

she was asleep in her room, with nanami doing his paperwork. you decided not to disturb her, as you've been dying to have peace and quiet since your husband had left for work.

you smile in content, as you make your way downstairs to go make some dinner for when your daughter wakes up.

sorry for taking so long!

@en-vys : this is my ONLY account other accounts with the same name are NOT me, do not repost on any other platform, translate, or steal in anyway. - 2024

[into-the-stars]

Reunion

After 13 long years, Sirius comes home.

Small blippet of a rough draft of what will eventually be written in a much bigger fic.

Elle was at the Burrow and had been all week which mean for Anna that the house was empty and she was stuck in her head more often than not. Unless she was working then her mind was on other things. Patients, potions, work, checklists. But she didn’t work until that evening and she’d woken up too early. 

She was still picking sleep out of her eyes when there was a knock at the door. She ran her brush through part of her hair and looked through the door. Remus. He hadn’t owled, which was odd, and it was not even 11. She didn’t think Aly would pick a fight this early. Curious, she opened the door. 

The first thing she noticed was the dog. Black, fluffy, likely taller than her if he stood on two legs. Aly had mentioned that Lexie wanted a puppy but this was not a puppy, Anna wouldn’t put it passed Aly to buy a dog while Remus was out of the house. “I thought you told Lexie no about the dog—“ 

It hit her like a frying pan to the face and she was certain she looked stupid as her mouth hung open. Since the school year ended it wasn’t like Sirius wasn’t talked about — the first night back Elle had cried herself to sleep in her mother’s bed because she didn’t understand why he hadn’t even tried to see her. Elle had tried to explain what Harry had told her between tears but Remus had filled in all of the gaps shortly after. 

Still, she hadn’t been expecting it so soon. 

“Come in. I’ll make some tea.” 

Aurors were still watching the house — obviously Dumbledore hadn’t spoken to Moody about Sirius’s innocent — but there were protective wards up. They could only see what she wanted them to, which wasn’t very much. She’d told Alastor Moody if he was going to treat her like a criminal he better get a search warranty. He hadn’t. The Aurors were there and watching her comings and going — one of their names were Phineas and sometimes he greeted her with a cup of coffee before she went off to work— but they stayed off her property and out of the realm of her wards. Which, honestly, meant they couldn't see if anyone was coming into her house through the floo.

Or in the disguise of an animagus.

To the normal person she'd look like she was running away into the kitchen. She was. Even if she didn't mean to. She fumbled her way through starting a kettle and then forced herself to take slow breathes as she leaned against the counter and waited for the water to boil. Remus opened the kitchen door and she glared at him. "Could've owled. Sent a flare. Flooed before hand. Called. I know you know how to use a phone."

"He thought it'd be better if it was a surprise." She continued to glare at him as her chest became tighter and she didn't know if she was breathing anymore. "Anna. Calm down."

"What do you think I'm trying to do?"

"I came in here to ask if you wanted me here or not."

Anna shrugged her shoulders. "I haven't seen him in thirteen years, Remus. I-- No? I think it'd be better if it's just us." She chewed on her lip. "Was it the red truck or the white volkswagon outside?"

"What?"

"The car parked down the street."

"I didn't look."

"Go out the back then, Phineas is fine but Adam's a prick. The wards stop at the creek. They don't have eyes back there, the kids are out there too often and I told Alastor the second some auror is watching my teenaged daughter in my backyard I'd be in his office. So they just watch the front." A pause spread between them and a pang of guilt for leaving Sirius alone -- especially after so long -- hit her along with all the other feelings that had been bottling themselves up over the last year since she heard news of his escape and even moreso since learning of his innocent. She'd been both dreading this moment and excited for it.

"Remus?"

"What?"

"Does he still love me?"

"Yes." There was a look of concern that flashed on Remus's face but no delay in his answer.

She exhaled a sigh of relief, "Okay." She blinked back tears. "I'll -- we'll be fine." She smiled. "Promise." She waved her wand in the direction of the kettle. It could pour itself when it was done. Remus put his hand on the back door handle. "I'm mad at you, by the way, Remus."

He laughed softly. "I can handle that," and he was out of the door. She wiped at her eyes -- the corners already wet -- and took a sharp intake of air before she walked into the living room. 

Her -- their -- home had changed quite a bit in the 13 years that he'd been gone. During the war it had been a revolving door of Order members once it had become a safe house and she was the resident nurse. Now it was a revolving door of teenagers. The couch they'd bought in 1978 had been replaced with something newer and more practical with as many kids came over. The tv was newer with a game system plugged into it.

The pictures -- what few had been taken during the war -- had evolved rather than been replaced. Dozens of pictures of Elle and Lexie throughout the years. All sorts of Weasleys and even the Tonks family was in a frame or two throughout the house. Though it was outdated and Dora was nearly twenty now. A picture or two of Harry in primary school that she'd had to pull teeth to get from Petunia. Pictures were scattered from their school days. Sirius had never been an absent part of this house. He was still her husband and still Elle's father. Regardless of what she'd spent so many years believing he'd done.

Sirius was looking at the pictures. She could only imagine what he was thinking. Time. He'd lost so much time. He was skinny. Far skinnier than he'd ever been before. She felt like she might break him if she touched too hard. He still looked like her Sirius.

"Hey," she said quietly and he turned sharply. "Remus went outside so we could--" he closed the space between them and pulled her as close as he could get her.

[calkale]

15 questions and definitely not 15 mutuals

I know I was tagged in this multiple times but none of them are showing up in my mentions so thank you guys <3 @adevotedreader is the only one showing up so you get a tag

1. Are you named after anyone?

yep 👍

2. When was the last time you cried?

I have no idea, I come close to crying sometimes (watching when harry met sally) but its been months since ive actually cried

3. Do you have kids?

nope

4. What sports do you play/have played?

I dont play any right now but I played soccer as a kid and badminton from grade 5-8 (I played like every sport from grade 5-8 because of gym class but I dont think I need to say that?), I really wanna play baseball and tennis so hopefully ill be able to in college

5. Do you use sarcasm?

on occasion

6. What's the first thing you notice about people?

usually their hair or their eyes

7. What's your eye color?

fanfic green orbs

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

happy endings <3

9. Any talents?

art ig? im decent at video games but I wouldn't really call that a talent. I play guitar and bass and I learn tabs super quick, theres some songs that take like a day to learn but im good at memorizing tabs, im also really good at math but I will forget literally every formula I have ever learned if you put a test in front of me

10. Where were you born?

Manitoba baby!!!

11. What are your hobbies?

drawing, painting, reading, video games, working out, guitar and bass, running and hiking (in the summer its cold and wet now 😔), also dirt biking but its been a while cause my ears are still healing and I can't wear a helmet

12. Do you have any pets?

a doggy!

13. How tall are you?

like 5'5

14. Favorite subject in school?

history!! I also liked math (cringe ik), photography, art and band was okay but I really just liked jazz band cause it was me and two of my friends complaining in the back row the whole class, but history was definitely my fav I am liking physics so far too but its an online class so I kinda wanna kill myself

15. Dream job?

pilot!!!! ideally a fighter pilot but id love to fly any military plane, or anything to do with aerial firefighting or aerobatics would be really cool too, id like to do one of or both of those after a military career if I can :)

I don't know who's already been tagged so apologies if you have been already (or haven't cause I thought I saw you do it 😬), @alygatorcrocodile @airlocksandaviaries @agentfaust @malewifebillcage @tropical-fruit-mx and anyone else just pretend I tagged you

[illarian-rambling]

Thanks for the tag @kaylinalexanderbooks!

OC Interview

I'll answer for Avymere, since I don't think I've really introduced them properly

.

1. Are you named after anyone?

"I'm the fifth Avymere of the Spearsong family. The first Avymere actually ruled Skysheer as regent briefly and was given the city of Salis as a reward when the Silverwind monarch they ruled for grew up. It's a name with much history attached."

2. When was the last time you cried?

"A few months ago, I was sparring with some of my guards and got kicked in a rather... sensitive area. I held it together until they left, but once I was alone, by the gods, I was on the floor."

3. Do you have kids?

"No, but I suppose I will someday. My father will rule for at least another hundred years, so I have until then to find a partner and produce an heir. By that time, I'll hopefully be a little more eager."

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

"I can't help it in front of the court sometimes, but I think it comes off as too subtle and they usually just assume I'm actually dumb. That's beneficial though, as it helps my disguise. My father always laughs, at least."

5. What's the first thing you notice about people?

"I notice how they're dangerous. A few tell-tale burns let me know that someone is a rune smith. A certain twitch of the hands reads as sorcerer. Fighters are easy - they always stand a certain way when pressed. Even socially dangerous people have their tells."

6. What's your eye colour?

"A pale gray. I wear glasses as well - everyone in my family is terribly nearsighted."

7. Scary movies or happy endings?

"In front of the court, I'd certainly say happy endings, but I don't know, I sort of enjoy the catharsis of fictional terror."

8. Any special talents?

"Other than my fighting skills? I play the piano very well, though I'm a little out of practice. I had more time to play when I was younger."

9. Where were you born?

"In my family's palace, one hundred and thirty three years ago."

10. Do you have any pets?

"My father keeps falcons and sometimes I'll pick one to train, but it's hard to get attached when they die so quickly. I've heard parrots live almost as long as humans, however, it would be cruel to keep a tropical bird so far north. I don't have time for a pet anyhow."

11. What sort of sports do you play?

"I'm an adherent of Talmel Valkys. It's one of the oldest forms of elven martial arts, having been invented back before Nabafyr and Skysheer were even proper nations. While Nabafyr developed many styles of open hand fighting later on, my people frown on physical violence, so Talmel Valkys is one of the only styles to have survived to the modern day here. I've always wanted to travel to Nabafyr and learn some of their styles, through I doubt they'd want a Skysheerian poking around their martial arts, especially when the most renowned styles are passed down family lines exclusively. Oh my, I've been talking for a while, haven't I? My apologies."

12. How tall are you?

"5'8". That's tall for an elf, though I'm only of a middling height when surrounded by humans."

13. What was your favorite subject in school?

"History, of course. It's the story of our world, more incredible and convoluted than any fiction. Every lord must study the victories and mistakes of those who came before them if they want to rule well."

14. What is your dream job?

"Ruling Salis after my father steps down is my sworn duty. It's my purpose as a child of the Spearsong line. ...If I'm being honest though, I've always envied the people who are free to travel. Maybe, in another life, I would've been happy to see the world as a caravan guard. However, this is not another life, so I will wear the mantle I was born to and rule Salis with all the fairness and grace I can manage."

.

I'll tag @rkmoon @amandacanwrite @apolline-lucy @televisionjester and anyone else who wants in :)

Blanks under the cut

1. Are you named after anyone?

2. When was the last time you cried?

3. Do you have kids?

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

5. What's the first thing you notice about people?

6. What's your eye colour?

7. Scary movies or happy endings?

8. Any special talents?

9. Where were you born?

10. Do you have any pets?

11. What sort of sports do you play?

12. How tall are you?

13. What was your favorite subject in school?

14. What is your dream job?

[thespiritofvexation]

Thank you @viktoria-sob and @lovely-menza for the tag! Haven't done one of these in ages so thank you to everyone who keep tagging me still!

1. Are you named after anyone?

Thea (actually Dorothea) is my middle-name and is a name that's been in my family for many many generations

2. When was the last time you cried?

Yesterday at a workplace meeting in front of all my colleagues and boss. It was tears of frustration due to us being told we have to start working more weekends in order to "save money". You might say I took one for the team since my little breakdown got us a reprieve until summer...

3. Do you have kids?

I do.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

I guess it depends on how you choose to define sarcasm vs. irony etc. but yes. I come from a family that only speak in irony/sarcasms in a way that is both confusing and amusing to outsiders. It took me a long time to realize that this can lead to many misunderstandings. On tumblr I've been told I can come off as intimidating and scary but I'm working hard on it. Rule of thumb is this is my happy place so if I follow you I like you♡ and if you follow me and I haven't blocked you I like you♡

5. What's the first thing you notice about people?

The good things. I'm instinctively inclined to like people while simultaneously always suspecting people of not liking me. It's so difficult being me...

6. What's your eye colour?

Blue

7. Scary movies or happy endings?

Scary movies

8. Any special talent?

I have a special talent for sneaking up on people, which is not always appreciated. I don't mean to, I just don't like making a lot of noise! But it's fun when people jump and yelp, makes me feel powerful, like a ninja

9. Where were you born?

Sweden

10. Hobbies

Collecting records. All though it's a slow process because I don't like ordering online and record stores are scarce

Hiking is another neglected hobby, dream destinations are Norway and Scotland

11. Have you any pets?

My floydian-themed cats Lucifer Sam and Algie and two common goldfish

12. Sports you play/have played

Played football (soccer) for ten years until my knees gave out, but also did a bit of gymnastics, orienteering, hip-hop dance and karate

13. Height

170cm

14. Favourite school subject

Swedish, english, religion, psychology.

15. Dream job

Psychologist, I guess it's a good time to finish that last thing and get my license now that my current workplace is determined on making my life as miserable as possible

Tagging: @see-sawed @wanderinstar @haritrash @burn-on-the-flame @blondecasino @glorious-blackout @brunswickeast etc.

[millenialfanfictionaddiction]

Hey mom how have you been 💞❤️

I haven't been feeling well lately. Not physically just emotionally. You might not know this but I am on the chubbier side of life and sometimes it's really difficult to not have hateful thoughts about myself. All of my friends have been really supportive but sometimes just feel down and I have been having those days.

I just don't feel good about myself lately. Nowadays I don't get that many people committing about my weight or my body and before it was lot but now most are pretty understanding. The thing is my weight gain is purely something that is hormonal. it has nothing to do with any physical intake of any kind. it's just all the hormonal disorder.

I have strangers coming up to me giving me they don't know why it has happened and it usually doesn't bother me. But from the past few days I am just been really low.

I tried to think How fictional characters who are also my coping mechanism would react react normally it works but this time it's really bad.

Sorry for the rant but I really want to get it off my chest.

Love you ❤️💜,

Japan manager anon

You sweet angel 🥺 first off, I totally empathize with this. I've always been bigger. Legit I've been 6'1" and chubby since I was 13. I hit Puerto at like 10 and then stopped growing at 13. It was so frustrating and difficult because I felt like I was so alone and I'm honestly still working on accepting myself. It's not something that just happens overnight and taking your time to do so is really important!

Just know this, people who often say something rude or project their feelings onto others have miserable lives themselves. There is absolutely no need to point out someone else physical appearance to them. Like do they really think we don't see it daily? It blows my mind how rude people can be about someone else's life and I hate that you had/have to deal with that.

Unfortunately, as much as it sucks sometimes fictional characters can't help 😔 as much as I know Bokuto WORSHIPS use chubby people, he's not here to give us the hug and support we need.

But what Bokuto can't fill, let me just say that my Tumblr is always a safe space to vent, ask for help, advice or even if you need any reassurance! You are a beautiful person and you deserve respect and admiration just like anyone else does! Just know that you aren't alone in feeling insecure, it's something alot of us deal with. Sometimes those intrusive thoughts really get to us and honestly, our personal thoughts about ourselves often are the most harmful because it's hard to convince yourself of things.

I literally went thought a stage where I would stand in front of the mirror and tell myself "Tiffany you are deserving of love. You are beautiful and amazing! You can do anything you set your mind too and your worth is not defined by someone's opinion of you." Sometimes those little reminders help, just repeating them throughout the day, or heck even crying them out in the shower. Let me tell you, many of times have I cried in the shower while telling myself I'm deserving of good things.

So however you feel like expressing your feelings, go for it! Cry, scream, laugh, talk to someone, write literally there is no wrong way to feel your own emotions.

I apologize this got so long 😅 I'm hoping I made a point in all that rambling ❤️

Also I'm adding this to potential help cheer you up 🥰

Also can I add 👀 if Team Japan saw you being down on yourself, Aran would literally pick you up (because he's strong 🥵) haul you into the locker room and you'd be like 🧍‍♀️ 😳

And Aran would be like 👉🏻 look how beautiful you are YN! Right now! Say it!

You 👉🏻 🧍‍♀️

Aran 👉🏻 don't make me get Iwaizumi...

You 👉🏻 🧍‍♀️ 👀 I mean you COULD get Iwaizumi...

Aran 👉🏻😐😑 YN

You 👉🏻🙄 I'm beautiful...

Aran 👉🏻 not good enough...

By now Hinata and Bokuto have totally joined you because like 🙌🏻 locker room 🙌🏻 party

Hinata and Bokuto 👉🏻 YN you are so pretty 🥺

Aran 👉🏻 YN...

You 👉🏻 I'm gorgeous, I'm beautiful and I'm perfect just the way I am!

Bokuto and Hinata (featuring Akaashi as Aran 🥰) 👇🏻

Let me be, I'm dealing with very little gif wise 😫

[karlylaylayy]

52 of the questions!

oh lordy 😅

3. Do you miss anyone? Yeah, my boy Archie. We had to put him down last year and I miss him every day.

8. have you ever cried because you were so annoyed? Yes! All the time over my assignments 9. who did you last see in person? People I work with 10. are you good at hiding your feelings? Absolutely not !

11. are you listening to music right now? Not right now

12. what is something you want right now? I could really go for some ramen

13. how do you feel right now? pretty tired because I've been awake since 2am 14. when was the last time someone of the opposite sex hugged you? maybe a month or two ago. 15. personality description emotionally unavailable, short attention span, energetic(?) 16. have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you didn’t? Yes. most of the time

17. opinion on insecurities. everyones got some insecurity 18. do you miss how things were a year ago? not really - feel like I;m in the same place as last year. 19. have you ever been to New York? I haven't ! 20. what is your favourite song at the moment? Nothing Matters! 21. age and birthday? 28 - 14 march 22. description of crush. someone on tiktok 😅😅 23. fear(s) small spaces and the ocean 24. height 5'7 or 171cms 25. role model wouldn't say I have one 26. idol(s) Footy player 27. things i hate allergy season and people arriving late for events 28. i’ll love you if… show me how to rock climb 29. favourite film(s) Shrek and live-action Scooby Doo 30. favourite tv show(s) Lucifer, Monk, Derry Girls, Disenchanted, Bob's Burgers. 31. 3 random facts never broken a bone, 1st in family to attend uni, gave myself a concussion ice-skating. 32. are your friends mainly girls or guys? I think it's a mixture but probably girls. 33. something you want to learn skateboarding 34. most embarrassing moment fumbling it in front of my favourite footy player 35. favourite subject It would've been art at school. 36. 3 dreams you want to fulfill? Buy my own house, pay off uni debt, see the world 37. favourite actor/actress favourite actor is Oscar Isaac - Favourite Actress is Kristen Stewart 38. favourite comedian(s) I don;t really have one 39. favourite sport(s) afl or nrl 40. favourite memory graduating high school 41. relationship status single 42. favourite book(s) The Roommate 43. favourite song ever it changes all the time ! 44. age you get mistaken for early 20's 45. how you found out about your idol through watching an NRl game 46. what my last text message says "I'm just a little sub" 47. turn ons hands, tattoos, shaggy hair cuts, hobbies etc. 48. turn offs rude to retail/hospo/any job dealing with people, rude to friends, no goals, etc. 49. where i want to be right now on a sunny beach doing fuck all 50. favourite picture of your idol

cbf posting one haha 51. starsign pisces 52. something i’m talented at sleeping and yapping 53. 5 things that make me happy ramen, clean bedsheets, sweet treats, animals, food 54. something thats worrying me at the moment working through my sexuality 55. tumblr friends too many to list 😅😅 56. favourite food(s) dumplings 57. favourite animal(s) dogs 58. description of my best friend down to earth, compassionate, Capricorn 59. why i joined tumblr

i missed posting nudes somewhere.

[thedissociatives]

tagged by @fedorovista ty !!

1. are you named after anyone?

um. not rlly ? did have a friend who thought i named myself after qhughes which was insanely funny because i in fact Did Not it is all just a crazy coincidence that he's one of my fav players

2. when was the last time you cried?

was gonna say idk but that's a lie. last week an episode of house got to me a bit too much (wilson's heart :/)

3. do you have kids?

no

4. what sports do you play/have you played?

like everyone else round here i did play a bit of football as a kid. was always the goalie which is Interesting. other than that i never rlly played much sport

5. do you use sarcasm?

i try and it doesn't work. i think i'm the only non-sarcastic british person

6. what’s the first thing you notice about people?

how they talk (not necessarily accents. mainly dialect stuff)

7. what’s your eye color?

blue

8. scary movies or happy endings?

scary movies because outside of bridget jones' diary i can't remember the last time i watched a film with even a remotely happy ending

9. any talents?

apparently i'm a good writer. which i don't rlly get since i haven't put any major efforts into improving for a bit so i think it's just ok

10. where were you born?

isle of man ! however since moving to england over 10 yrs ago my accent has like. completely gone (also why i just say i'm british because it's just easier)

11. what are your hobbies?

writing (even tho i haven't had the time and energy to do any for a few months outside of classwork), watching tv/film if that counts, and i'm getting back into playing bass again after too long of a break

12. do you have any pets?

ya i have a dog called sparky. he's a border terrier/jack russell mix. because of that he is still completely fucking insane even tho he's 10 and shows no sign of slowing down any time soon (pretty fitting name i guess lol)

13. how tall are you?

like. 5'3.5" ??? idk it changes almost every time i go to the doctors

14. favorite subject in school?

history. 100%. although i did always rlly like music too

15. dream job

idk exactly but i want to work in the media in some capacity. as long as i don't have to be in front of a camera i'd do just about anything

i. don't actually have anyone to tag this time so gonna open this up to anyone who wants to do it :)

[bass-borot]

Do the prime numbers

2 You talked to an ex today, correct? Yes, I had a very brief interaction with my wife (not married in the eyes of the law just like calling each other like that)

3 Have you taken someones virginity? Yes, in 2017 5 Did you hang out with the person you like recently? No, haven't seen her in weeks :( 7 What happened tonight? Well last night I played Crusader Kings III then went to bed, and tonight I'll probably do the same. 11 How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? A decent number? The wife, for one, and a lot of my friends are women and I trust them so... uh, yeah, a lot of them :P

13 What are you gonna do Saturday night? Probably chill and play some games, might make a drink. Low chances of going out since I'm trying to cut spending. 17Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? Toss-up between the wife, my best friend in Sweden, or my other great friend (who's prob. reading this). My therapist doesn't count, cause, duh. 19 Have you had sex today? Not with anyone else. 23 Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s? I think so yeah, they're not far off 29 Do you really, truly miss someone right now? Yes, at least two people. 31 Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to? Last boy I talked to was my friend from the board game store, he's a pretty cool guy, no hate at all 37 Do you believe in love at first sight? Love no, infatuation/spark/crush that can lead to love, yes. 41 When was the last time you ate a cupcake? One of the days in England, I think it was among the stuff we picked up when we went to Asda for dairy-free whole milk. 43 Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush? I asked the wife to take a picture of me laying naked (covered) in bed reading a biography of an engineer, while surrounded by stuffed animals. I am beyond embarrassment. 47 Who was the last person to call you? Spam call. Before that, my mum. 53 Is Christmas stressful? No 59 Take a vitamin daily? Only Monday-Friday (ok technically an analogue of a vitamin but yes) 61 Wear a bath robe? Hell yes. Slippers too (but that's not a prime) 67 Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? Peanuts 71 Can you curl your tongue? Yes 73 Have you ever cried because you were so happy? Yes, sorta recently actually 79 What was the last concert you saw? Uhhhhh I THINK Iron Maiden? Pretty sure it was that. 81 Can you swim well? Pretty decently yeah. I sometimes stray to one direction but I can swim fine 83 Are you patient? Uh, sometimes (like the vine) 89 Which are better black or green olives? Green olives belong in the depths of hell where they came from, black olives are delicious and a perfect all-times snack. 91 Best room for a fireplace? Living/sitting room. The main room where people put their TVs in (even though TV isn't ideal and DEFINITELY don't put your TV over the fireplace)

[droppingintothedeepend]

01. Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

no

02. Who did you last say “I love you” to?

cristen

03. Do you regret anything?

yes

04. Are you insecure?

yes

05. What is your relationship status?

married <3

06. How do you want to die?

quickly and happily

07. What did you last eat?

semi sweet chocolate chips in milk

08. Played any sports?

not really

09. Do you bite your nails?

yes (:

10. When was your last physical fight?

never

11. Do you like someone?

lol yeah like for sure

12. Have you ever stayed up 48 hours?

no

13. Do you hate anyone at the moment?

plenty of people

14. Do you miss someone?

plenty of people

15. Have any pets?

binky boi

16. How exactly are you feeling at the moment?

tired // exhausted // worn out

17. Ever made out in the bathroom?

I'm sure yes

18. Are you scared of spiders?

no

19. Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?

yes

20. Where was the last place you snogged someone?

bedroom

21. What are your plans for this weekend?

play animal crossing

22. Do you want to have kids? How many?

nope (:

23. Do you have piercings? How many?

I used to have a tongue ring but I lost it in the war. and by war I mean 4 hour seizure. I just found the bag yesterday and it was really upsetting, a reminder of all of the things I have lost since my seizure, support, love, mobility, independence, my sense of self, and my tongue ring.

24. What is/are/were your best subject(s)?

math // child development

25. Do you miss anyone from your past?

yes

26. What are you craving right now?

a cigarette and some kind of chocolate candy i haven't quite put my finger on yet

27. Have you ever broken someone’s heart?

I'm sure

28. Have you ever been cheated on?

I dont think so

29. Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?

yes

30. What’s irritating you right now?

that life isn't easier and that it costs so much money to be alive

31. Does somebody love you?

yes

32. What is your favourite color?

orange

33. Do you have trust issues?

lmao I should but no

34. Who/what was your last dream about?

it was about my brother in law nathan trying to kidnap piper to sell her

35. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

cristen

36. Do you give out second chances too easily?

I'm sure

37. Is it easier to forgive or forget?

lmao I forget everything

38. Is this year the best year of your life?

not even close (:

39. How old were you when you had your first kiss?

I honestly don't remember, wish I did though.

40. Have you ever walked outside completely naked?

no

51. Favourite food?

chicken strips

52. Do you believe everything happens for a reason?

nope

53. What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?

smoked // watched bobs burgers // cuddled on cristen

54. Is cheating ever okay?

no

55. Are you mean?

I'm judgemental and tactless, but I wouldn't say "mean"

56. How many people have you fist fought?

none

57. Do you believe in true love?

duh

58. Favourite weather?

sunny days in the 80s

59. Do you like the snow?

not really

60. Do you wanna get married?

yeah, I did it

61. Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?

yes

62. What makes you happy?

cristen, piper, and harry styles

63. Would you change your name?

nope

64. Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?

not at all

65. Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

tell them to knock it off, im gay married

66. Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?

no I don't have any friends, and if I did- they wouldn't be men lmfao

67. Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?

I said good morning to my elderly neighbor today

68. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

cristen

69. Do you believe in soulmates?

yee

70. Is there anyone you would die for?

yesssss

[spencers-dria]

Light Amongst the Darkness

Ch. 13 of Someone to Stay

Spencer Reid x fem reader

POV: Spencer

I wake up for the third time this morning as a technician comes in the room to take my vital signs. It seems like it's always something, labs, vital signs, or medicine. I look over to see Y/N curled up on the couch, sleeping soundly. She really could sleep through just about anything, but somehow she seems to always know when I get up.

I slip out of bed and make my way to the bathroom as quietly as possible to shower and get ready for the day. I feel a hand grab by wrist as I pass the couch. I look down and see her still half asleep, her eyes aren't even open yet.

"Spence?"

"It's okay, go back to sleep. I'm just going to take a shower."

"Let me know if you need anything" she says through a yawn as she rolls back over. I can tell she has fallen back asleep within seconds by the sound of soft snoring. I can't help but smile. It was an adorable quirk of hers.

By now I'm able to take the bandages off and wash the surgical wound. I wince slightly as the gauze pulls as the staples. It seems do be doing okay. Y/N has really been helping a lot. The nurses here seem to know her well and let her do as much as she wants to help take care of me. I've tried convincing her that she's not at work and she doesn't have to be my nurse but she insists.

I make my way out of the steamy bathroom in fresh sweatpants as I towel dry my hair. Y/N is wide-awake, sitting on the edge of the bed with bandages all laid out on the side table.

I start to sit down next to her as I try one last time to convince her to take a break. "You know you really don't have to..."

"Shush. I want to help."

I turn to face her as she delicately dresses the wound after covering it with an antibiotic ointment. I had to admit, it hurt much less when she did it. I watch her as she puts all of her focus into what she's doing. I really enjoy getting to see her do what she does best, what she's passionate about. She looks really beautiful, despite having just woken up. It's almost not fair. Her hair is hanging down in its natural light waves, I'm almost tempted to reach out and run my hands through it. I can feel my skin tingle where she's placed her hand on my other shoulder for balance as the leans in to examine her finished work. I shake the feeling from my head. I can't scare her off.

After she's finished, I slip on a t-shirt as she pulls out her laptop and we settle into the hospital bed, ready to watch the final Harry Potter movie. Downtime in the hospital had allowed us to make our way through the series much quicker than anticipated. She had asked for a couple extra days off, which I fought against and lost. This was my fourth, and hopefully last day staying in the hospital.

As we get into the movie I hear her say "mmm I miss it."

"Miss what?"

"Hogwarts" she laughs as though this was obvious.

I give her a quizzical look.

She continues. "You know, the wizarding world, in Orlando?"

"Ohhh yeah I almost forgot they had that."

She pauses the movie and turns to look at me with wide eyes. "You mean you've never been?"

"No. By the time they built it I guess I was older and already working for the FBI."

"Spencer I only went my first time in college." She laughs. "You're never too old to go to Hogwarts!"

She sits for a moment, lost in her thoughts, before her face lights up with a huge smile.

"We have to go."

"What, the two of us?"

"No genius, me and Hotch." We both giggle at the thought as she elbows me. "I used to take road trips with my friends back home all the time. It's been awhile though..."

I can tell she's been a bit homesick lately. She misses her friends and family. No one has been able to visit her yet. So I decide that this is a great idea for us both.

I look over to her, unable to hide a grin. "When are we going?"

"Really? Really??! You'll go? Oh my gosh, Spencer!" She jumps up out of the bed and starts pacing the room.

"We have to start planning. When do you want to go? I have to ask for days off. You will too of course. I can't wait to show you everything. We'll have to get you a robe..."

"Y/N!" She stops to look at me, as I can't help but laugh at her.

"Take deep breaths. We have plenty of time. You really get excited for trips, huh?"

"Oh you have no idea! Vacations are my absolute favorite! Planning is half the fun."

She stops and loses herself in thought for a moment. "It's not weird, is it? Us taking a trip together?"

I simply shake my head and she continues to plan out loud.

Her question makes me think. We are just friends. Friends can take trips together. My thoughts drift to the events that took place a little over a week ago at her apartment and at the bar. We still haven't talked about that. I'm sure she didn't mean anything by it, but ever since then I have taken extra notice of little things.

We used to sit apart to watch movies together, but ever since that day she seems to snuggle next to me. I find myself incredibly aware of how close she is, or when her arm brushes mine, my skin igniting at every touch.

She eventually settles down and makes her way back over to the bed, setting us up to continue the movie. Her head settles onto my shoulder, as if it belongs there. As her gaze falls on the screen, my gaze falls on her, and I can't seem to tear it away. I love watching her reactions. Despite having seen the movie so many times before, her expressions are as dramatic as someone who is seeing it for the first time. She told me she still cries at the boathouse scene, every time. I love that about her, her ability to see light in dark places, good among the evil. She is definitely the shining light amongst the darkness I face every day at work. I never want to lose that...lose her.

Eventually the nurse comes in with the discharge paperwork and instructions for wound care. They try to offer me prescriptions for pain medications at home, but I insist on sticking with Tylenol and Advil. Y/N drives me home and helps me carry my things up to my apartment. After we make our way inside. She immediately starts cleaning, switching on some music before she gets to work. I think about telling her to stop but I know better by now. Instead I lie across the couch and grab the book I was reading before I left for the case.

I try to focus on the words in front of me, but I find myself reading the same page over again as my eyes are continually drawn to Y/N. I see her go in my room and come back out with a laundry basket and bed sheets. After starting a load, she makes her way to the kitchen, wiping down counters and cleaning off any dishes in the sink. She's too focused on each task to notice my lingering stares.

She had come back out dressed in some loose fitting, high-waisted denim shorts and a black tank. She's pulled back the top half of her hair and tied it with a silk, gold scarf. She's still got no makeup on with her glasses. I normally take absolutely no notice of what women wear, but I really admire her style. It's always changing, completely unique and completely hers.

I try to hold back a grin as I watch her dance around the kitchen, barefoot as she sings a song I don't recognize.

"You get ready you get all dressed up, to go nowhere in particular. Back to work or the coffee shop, it don't matter because it's enough to be young and in looovee."

I can't put my finger on it but something about her has definitely been different lately. There's a new glow about her, and I'm drawn to it like a moth.

During her cleaning she's also opened up all my curtains and window's letting light in. She brought home all the flowers that had been dropped off during my hospital stay and is rearranging them into small vases to spread across the apartment. Its almost as if her light is so infectious, she's spreading it into every corner of my life, my home. I blush at the thought of how nice it would be to have her around all the time.

Every once in awhile I catch her gaze and she simply smiles at me as she continues to sing with equal enthusiasm. I appreciate that she's finally comfortable enough around me to sing, to be completely herself.

When she finally runs out of things to busy herself with, she makes her way to the couch and sits across from me, handing me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich as she bites into one she made for herself.

"Thank you" I say appreciatively with a mouth half full of food.

"Thanks for everything actually; cleaning my apartment, staying with me at the hospital, taking care of me...and just for sticking around, being my friend."

She leans forward placing her elbows on her knees. "I couldn't have found anyone better if I had hand picked them myself." She laughs at her own cheesiness.

I cough, clearing my throat for a moment. "Should we talk about the other night?"

"The other night? Oh!...oh." I notice her face turns a bit red and she breaks eye contact, staring at the wood floors instead.

"We don't have to I just thought..."

"No it's okay. We should talk about it. Well, first of all I want to apologize for making you uncomfortable. Sometimes when I drink I flirt with just whoever is around. It's not personal. I'm really sorry." I notice her start to nervously pick at the hem of her clothing, a sign of her anxiety.

"No! No you didn't make me uncomfortable." I shake my head, biting my lip as I try to think of how to continue.

"It was unexpected. I've never seen you be so confident. It was really s-s-something else." I feel my face heat up as I catch myself almost saying something I regret. I shift in my seat, incredibly aware of the thick tension lingering in the air.

She finally speaks up. "So the trip? I guess we can pick some dates once you're back at work. Then we can request off and buy some tickets. Sound good?"

"Mmmhhmm." My heart is still racing from the previous conversation. I can't believe how quickly I go from completely at ease around her to a hot mess of nerves. I tell my self it's nothing, that it will go away if I only give it time. It has to.

[norgestan]

I'm going back for seconds! Viri/Hugo, Nora/Miquel, Lucasim, Emma/You. Lol tbh I just want an Emma ship and I feel like we haven't properly settled for one. 😔 Who should end up with Emma, Mia excluded since you haven't watched Druck yet?

ardi round 2, i loooove this :)

VIRIHUGO:

i think at the end of the day i’m just resigned to virihugo’s existence. do i hate that they just Start pining for each other with no setup at all? yes. do i hate that their relationship was a noorhelm+vilde esque get-together where dylan is the one who ends up alone? yes (imagine if noora had told william something like “oh lol vilde is just some slut that goes for every boy around her, she’ll get over it soon and she doesn’t really care about us being together ;)”. bc that’s essentially what virihugo did LOL). do i hate that half of their clips are they just standing still and monologuing about each other? oh yes. do i care? not really. i would resent them a lot more if viri had been the protag of s3, but eskam had really compelling couples with noriquel and norandro so i just spend my time focusing on them and not the lesser part of the season.

viri is an endearing character, and although i didn’t like most of her subplot in s3, i do think eskam made her an interesting character with what they had and i’m happy she got a nice boyfriend that she has lots of fun with. moreover, norandro was lacking the enemies-to-lovers snarky interactions (too busy being a really compelling couple!) and the trope was picked up by hugo and viri. which i kinda dig, because those interactions were the only things that i enjoyed about various noorhelms in the skamverse - if most of them were like that and less bad abusive boy feminist girl jerk-fest, i wouldn’t loathe noorhelm as much as i do. although this also makes me wish viri and hugo had been that kind of dynamic from the start, and just gotten a lot of will-they-won’t-they glances from their friends throughout the show until they finally got into each other on s3. but i guess that would’ve made it impossible for eskam to use dylan just to *checks notes* make every person in the love triangle insanely infuriating, oh well.

tl;dr: they are allowed to exist.

NORIQUEL:

ardi, you just want to see the world burn LMAO

to me it’s hard to dislike any pairing with nora on it because she’s a very good character and that just means she’ll always have great dynamics with other good characters. and oh is miquel a good character. in a lot of ways, eskam gave us two great williams in one season: my boy alejandro, who is the perfect candidate for a nora love interest, who earned his place and then helped nora earn her place as the best candidate to be his love interest as well, and then miquel, that has just enough characterization to be exactly what the narrative of the season needs him to be - not only a mustache-twirling antagonist who will punch out then smirk his way out of situations, but a real person.

see, they could’ve made miquel into a one-dimensional asshole that nora is stupidly into because he’s hot (does that sound familiar to you? LOL) but oh no, miquel is way more than that. he earns nora’s trust because he’s not an asshole, he resents olga for cheating on him and you can see how nora waits until the moment where he’ll call her a slut but it NEVER comes, he defends nora in front of his friends... he gives her what she needs, and he fits right where she expects him to. and that’s so important in a season where every other character is challenging nora in one way or another: alejandro doesn’t fit in her box of “incorrigible fuckboy”, viri doesn’t fit in her box of “helpless friend who needs my pity”, emma doesn’t fit in her box of “s/a victim”. being with miquel is easy, when he just humors her and spits out thoughts that nora agrees with all the time. it’s just REALLY great to watch. not only is her season a display of how emotional abuse looks like, but also her entire relationship with miquel showcases her shame, her flaws, the things she needs to work with to better her relationships with the people who ask more of her because it’s only fair.

i honestly never was in the miquel hate train. once you get the point of the character, it’s easy to love him for what he is. as i said before, miquel was also a call of attention because the conversations that he had with nora reminded me of talks with male friends i’ve had in my uni years, and it really put it in perspective and made me realize that i have been humoring numerous miquels by sitting through their “i’m actually a feminist, ya know” think-pieces and agreeing with the general feeling of it. and i don’t think a character like niko could EVER make anyone feel like that.

i’ve checked the middle square because that was my reaction every time eskam made a point to parallel noriquel to noorhelm. like YES. YOU DO GET ME. TRULY A SEASON FROM NOORHELM ANTIS TO NOORHELM ANTIS. what a skamverse treat. this relationship is good for the SOUL. that’s why i never got infuriated watching the couple, despite knowing what the point of their existence was: at the end of the day, i knew that the signs of abuse weren’t pointless and just fillers for an end-of-season sex scene, but they were actually going to do something interesting with them. and that’s exactly what they did. noriquel is actually a perfectly crafted relationship for what its message is and it deserves to be remembered as that.

LUKASIM:

oh BOY.

i just.... kasim is in this relationship. that already makes this REALLY difficult to tackle it. the thing about kasim is... if you only watched the season as the movistar+ channel shows it, kasim is simply a plot device. he’s not a character. he’s only there to introduce conflict and stir some shit and then fuck off to the sunset. he doesn’t have an og counterpart which meant that eskam didn’t have to actually try with him, and kasim is just what they need him to be: a way to introduce the main conflict, a reason for dounia to hate amira, boy on boy action for that sweet fanservice, misogynist microaggressions towards amira, a loose way to wrap things up at the end of the season and absolve her from any guilt or shame, etc. he just shows up when the plot needs him and then walks away very swaggily. and that’s why kasim is an essay kind of topic because to talk about him, you have to tackle the racism in s4 and all the ways they could’ve made a conflict-inducing gay muslim guy actually likable. which i won’t do here.

but then if you look at the lucas extra clips... he’s actually LIKABLE. he’s a character: he has personality, he’s funny, he doesn’t take lucas’ shit, he will only be with him if lucas apologizes and changes first. and as someone who desperately wants to protect kasim from the shit characterization and treatment he got in the show, i treasure those clips immensely - which i don’t think a lot of people do, and i can see why. it’s just sad that the moments where kasim was a likable, real character were hidden behind a paywall, and drown in a convoluted plotline of outing people when they behave badly as a good punishment. the thing about their get-together is that their impact relies only on amira, and is meant to make her life a living hell. other than that, there’s not really a narrative or character reason why they’re both into each other. is it only because they’re conventionally attractive guys and the only recurrent mlm in the show? wow, that shit’s BORING.

sigh, anyway. in a slightly better world, kasim being gay wasn’t actually a nuance as it was presented in the show. rather, kasim was out and confident about it, close to his sister, probably a regular in las labass where he could also work with organizations of other queer muslims in madrid. this also means that lucas and kasim’s relationship wasn’t the typical hidden gay love story that they were in the actual show, but they’re just, ya know. typical gay kids who made out in the club and then became just friends. or lucas’ activism on s2 warranted some instagram dms and then they upgraded to acquaintances. it’s upsetting that lucas is the only eskild who doesn’t really get to hangout or be in queer circles like other eskilds are implied to, so it would be great for him to actually have gay friends that he enjoys just as much as his primarily friend group. like, their version of lucas’ queer lifestyle being going to bars and hooking up with older guys it’s so....................... why. they didn’t have the time to say anything interesting about it and so obviously they didn’t do it lol. at this rate lucas’ only platonic queer companion is cris, which is lackluster to say the least.

the decision of making kasim lucas’ endgame is just another one on the list of things s4 got so, so wrong. what for? why does lucas need (another) boyfriend, again? why does every queer person in this show have to be dating someone and also come out to their parents? again, their relationship is just another rushed hidden gay love story that i found interesting at 13 years old and then never again. they could’ve taken it into ANY other direction, please. i’m begging.

anyways, you had really nice headcanons of lucas being the only eskild willing to revert to date a muslim guy, so that’s the only reason why i’m open to the idea of them being a couple. in a better universe, eskam actually made a case for these two being a good couple, and i agreed with it. as it is for now, it’s just really pointless, and rooted on the fact that kasim is not a real character to begin with. so i’m OBVIOUSLY sending them to superhell <3

EMMA/ME:

standard wlw relationship that would probably get sooooo much backlash about how neither of the characters Really feel like wlw and the emma love interest being boring as fuck, tbh.

alright, now that we’ve covered all that.... should dear emma grace even end up with someone in the skamverse? maybe one of the skamau girlies, given the proximity? maybe she’ll hook up with the female eskild that i know so many people dislike? idk. emma deserves a nice love story, in the same wavelength as nora. she deserves someone who is patient, who communicates well, who establishes boundaries and asks for respect, who understands she’s not only the act of crazy party girl and there are really interesting, carefully placed layers around her. maybe someone who went through a similar situation or at the very least sits down with her and tries their hardest to understand all the things going on with her life. like... there’s something about emma dropping the accusations and then dipping to another country, away from her parents and even her hometown in the states, just to throw herself in a city as busy as nyc is, that is desperately asking to be explained and explored. in a lot of ways, emma’s story is the other side of the noora story that couldn’t be told through nora’s perspective. in a perfect universe, there’s a spinoff that takes place right between s3 and s4, where emma gets the news of how much of a shithead miquel actually is and she has to question all of that yet again, and break the sense of normalcy and comfort she had built during all those years. it would be great if that story featured her closest friendships, and a newfound love. yes i was serious when i talked about the emma grace spinoff @ movistar+

[prophetwithaz]

Starlight (Obi-wan x reader)

a/n: the reader in the story is LEGAL. DO NOT clown in my inbox. i also haven't written fic since i was 13 so this is e h. i finally posted it after @milleniumvalcon hyped me up.

summary: Despite being worn out after work, Obi-wan senses your anxiety about your training, and comes to your quarters to make sure you're doing alright.

word count: 1.5k

————————————————————————

Obi-wan had had a long day. It seemed that at each turn, the day tore itself in two. The discussions among politicians made him sick. Despite the fact that he desired peace more than anything, he couldn't fathom any leader being able to willfully harm their own people. Tensions at the temple ran high. Too much to do, and too little time, as per usual.

All he wanted to do was to curl up in a ball and start a new day with some semblance of clarity. You felt the same, having spent the whole day training. You were drained, quite frankly, and you were tired of preparing for the trials every day. You wondered if in a few years you would even be good enough to face the council. Maybe being a jedi wasn't for you. Tossing and turning, you lie awake. Anxiety felt like television static: no particular feeling or thought, but all encompassing and overstimulating nonetheless.

Obi-wan could feel the disturbance in the force from the uneasiness. It made it difficult for him to relax, sensing the pain coming from just a few doors down, despite his heavy, aching eyes. So he did what he wished his colleagues would do more often and left his quarters to check on the padawan down the hall.

He had noticed how hard you pushed yourself. You held astounding skill with your saber, rivaling Anakin in many regards. Despite the strength of the force within you, you were never good enough for yourself, critiquing each mistake you make to the point of embarrassment. Obi-wan had noticed this, but never said anything out of fear of overstepping his boundaries as a master.

He opened the door to your quarters softly, trying not to startle you. He called out your name, pulling you out of your daze. "What are you still doing awake, young one?" he spoke.

"Why are you here?" you questioned. "You were working all day. I figured you'd be asleep as soon as you got to your quarters."

Obi-wan chuckled. "I sensed a disturbance in the force. It felt like you," he said, gently. "I wanted to make sure you were okay."

You were shocked to say the least. You looked up to Obi-wan more than your own master. He was arguably the most talented of all of the jedi, Yoda be damned. That opinion was independently formed without any outside influence. Outside influence being the massive crush you had on him.

They were enigmatic, your feelings for him. Truly, it was the kind of thing philosophers tried to explain with frilly words and a certain softness, and in a way, they were right. You could never explain it in any way other than stardust glittering in your bones, burning your soul in the most pleasant way possible. You were so modest around him, knowing he was everything you weren't, and it led to the intense self-deprication you engaged in on the regular. You weren't patient or levelheaded. The lack of these qualities led to strong passion, leaving you on edge and in fear of turning to the dark side.

In the time you spent in your own thoughts, Obi-wan had seated himself beside you. "You always push yourself so hard," he started, "but I sensed great doubt in you, padawan." It felt as if he could peer into your soul when he looked you in the eye.

"I'm fine. You have more important things to do than be my therapist." It came out harsher than expected, but the message was all the same. He didn't need to treat you like a child.

"You aren't a bother," he said, moving closer. "I care about you more than you know-"

"I'm not even your padawan, so I don't see why you're so worried."

But the truth was, he thought about you all the time. How you put Anakin in his place in training. How you fight with a saber as if you were born with one in your hand. How you spin in the air when you fight, almost envying whoever the poor soul was that had to oppose you in combat. But over everything else, how you managed to be the most beautiful woman he had seen in his life, even with no makeup, hair pulled back tight, and sweating under the almost obnoxious weight of the jedi robes.

"You're the best of the padawans. You could kick Anakin's ass at any given chance. You give me hope for the next generation of jedi, and manage to smile while doing it all."

He spoke with a honey-like grace. The sweet words stuck to you like you had just dipped your hands in his soul. Obi-wan wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into a warm embrace. He smelled like linen and home, wherever that was.

You pulled out of the hug. "That's the problem. Everyone thinks that except me. I still feel like that same scared little kid from Naboo I was way back when whenever I make a mistake. And the trials... Maker, I don't even know what I'll do about those."

"Darling," he started, "all in all, we're our own worst critics." He reached his hand out, "may I?" You nodded and he took your hand. "We look at our lives as if it has to live the greatest story ever told, when really, the only person who thinks that is ourself."

You gripped Obi-wan's hand tighter, tears welling in your eyes. Vulnerability wasn't anything you were used to, especially not in front of the masters. As far as you were concerned, you had to be perfect for them. His voice felt like the auditory equivalent of sunshine, and maybe, for a brief moment, it could balance out your storm.

"If you were supposed to just fight perfectly and follow orders, you might as well be a clone, sweetheart." He chuckled and put his arm around you. "Not to mention, you are much prettier than the clones."

You laughed and shook your head, "I wish you wouldn't lie to me like that, Master Kenobi."

"You are truly astounding, young one. I know you don't think that, and I know it'll be even harder for me to convince you of that, but I promise you are." You pressed yourself against his chest and let yourself cry. There was no reason not to by this point. He wasn't the type to gossip, and you couldn't remember the last time you had cried in front of anyone.

Obi-wan pulled you from his chest and looked you in the eye. You'd swear he was made of love, of starlight. "Don't cry, love," he spoke, gently brushing away the tears from beneath your eyes. Obi-wan kissed your forehead softly, brushing over the spot with his calloused finger tips. "You were made for this."

In a turn of events even you found shocking, you had locked your lips on his, your hands wrapping around his neck. Those calloused hands tangled themselves in your hair as his mouth swiftly took your breath away. You pulled apart, the air between you heavy and comforting. He gave you a giddy smile, stroking your hair while he gazed at you. In that moment, Obi-wan looked at you as if you had hung the moon, and for a brief moment, you yourself felt like you could have. The trials should be afraid of you, not the other way around. "You have no idea how long I have wanted to do that, really," he said.

You smiled and nodded, giving him a quick peck on the lips before leaning against him and falling back on to your bed. Obi-wan got comfortable, and you soon followed suit. It was late, and you were buzzing with happiness.

"I promise you, I meant what I said to you. Each and every word, starlight." His words pulled the biggest smile from your face as you snuggled closer to him, taking in all of Obi-wan Kenobi. His scent, his warmth, and the way his chest buzzed when he called you starlight.

You weren't sure how long it was or how many kisses it was until you had fallen asleep, but it was by far, the best night's sleep you had gotten in ages. The fact that you woke up with Obi-wan still next to you was the brilliant, loving icing on the cake. Technicalities could wait. You were beyond in love, and nothing could take that away from you. Not war, not fear, not the trials. You finally had someone worth holding on to.

So you did, you looked up to his peaceful expression, eyes still closed, and opted to go back to sleep, holding him like you were the only two people alive.

At that moment, you were.

[aria-laughs]

Real talk..(needed to vent, feel free to not read this if you don't like long rants)

When i was 11 years old i had already been through my fair share of crap. Coming from a "broken" home with little money, a depressed mother and an absent father. At that time i remember being bullied as a biproduct of my sister stoping one of her classmates (a 13 year old girl) from traveling half accross the contry to meet her 19 year old boyfriend who she'd met online for the first time.. under the pretence that she was traveling to visit my dad with my big sister. This all ended with the police stoping the train and picking the girl up before she reached her destination and everyone didn't have to suffer through the ordeal with a minor being raped or worse by a yound adult in a strange city..anyway. when the summer ended and we (me and my two siblings) gor back home, all these rumors spread about us and school became tricky. I got used to it tho, i had my friends and i quickly learned to keep close to teachers whenever i was alone. At the home front my mom became sick and the kids got a lot of grown up responsibilities. It was okay too.. kids get used to a lot, and today im a wizz in the kitchen and i clean with the best of them.

My mother had a temper, and would hit us when we did something wrong. I remember trying to cover for my siblings as much as possible, trying to shield them from the worst of it. Don't get me wrong, i LOVE my mother. She's been through hell and her sroty is worse than anything i've ever heard of. I understand what happened when i grew up and i love her because she allways did her best.. but i haven't forgiven her for making my home unsafe. At 11 years old one of my teachets notised that i had a hard time with my schoolwork. They couldn't get me to focus on my work and i was distracted by anything. I remember the letters mixing up as i read, and it became impossible to do my homework because no one could see the letters moving like i could. The teached contacted my mom and my stepfather and told them he'd talk to a specialist about me maybe having ADHD. The next week my mom dropped me off at the specialist and i got tested in every subject known to man. As usuall i exelled at language, history and music. But everything else was a bit off, i remember hearing him telling my mom that it couldn't be HDHD because my memory was too good. But refered her to a doctor for more tests. The ordeal took another week before my mother came to pick me up at lunch one day and told me we had to go to the hospital.

I had a thyroid condition that firsly was almost non-exsistent, and secoundly was unheard of in someone my age. They took blood, and sent me to get an MR and CT. When all the tests came back, we got the good news that i wouldn't die if they treated it quickly. But since i was still waiting for normal bodyparts to arrive, and hadn't gone through puberty yet.. he had no idea where to start. I don't remember the name of the medication, but i remember taking 15 a day. 5 in the morning, 5 when i got home from school and 5 before bed. I took them and 39 minutes later i was sprinting to the bathroom puking my guts out. This obviously didn't work in the long run and by the end of it i was so skinny you could see my teeth through my cheeks. They changed my meds and i stopped with the hurling. Instead i gained about 30 kg in the first 6 months and looked like a beach ball on legs. And as a kid being bullied, this wasn't that fun. Let me remind you that this had been going on for a while and tho my mom did what she could.. the was depressed and didn't see how bad it got for me and all the responsibilities i had at home made me dissapear in the day-to-day of it all. Alone and scared as the bullying became physical I panicked and stoped taking my meds, and all my symptoms came back. I would sleep for 14 hours and wake up exhausted. I'd go full days without getting hungry and i'd get moodswings and get real clumsy. My family got used to this and the symptoms stoped being symptoms and started being "just me".

So now i'd wake up and have to care for my siblings, go to school without lunch for myself because i had to make it for my siblings, or forgetting to shower because i had to remind my brother to do it. I get off the buss and get my ass kicked on my way to the classroom. Some days i'd get through it and come home to start dinner for my family, and other times the bullying sent me to the ER to get stitched up (i didn't have to make dinner on those days). This happened often enough that the doctor knew me by my first name, and instead of "how did you hurt yourself?) I'd get "Again!? When the nurses came to get me. One day i slept for 16 hours and my mother confronted me about my weightloss and asked if i'd been taking my meds. I came clean and a few hours at the doctors office and one frustrating car ride later. I'd promissed to take my pills again, but by that point i had ruined my body enough to never get better. So at 15 years old the doctors decided that they'd treat my thyroid with radioactive iodine. This worked great and killed the thyroid gland, making me dependend on meds for the rest of my life.

For anyone who don't know, the thyroid gland is responsible for your bodys metabolism. This means everything... your metabolism is a part of every funktion of every organ in your entire body, tho we usually think about how fast you burn fat because this is what we see on the outside.

We did our best, and we got through it. I had a safe place with my best friend and his family. And i'd escape there as often as i could. His mother would remind me to take my meds, she'd let me shower at their place and when she realised that i never ate at school she started packing lunch for me to send with her son every day.

I don't think i'd survive and be the person i am today without them. I remember the day i finally told them what was going on at home when i grew up, at this point i had grown up and moved away from home. I had started opening up to people i trusted and understood the power of talking about my problems. i never ment it as a "why didn't you see".. im thankful for my life, even the bad pars, but i needed them to know how much they saved me. To understand how much i love them all. I'll keep their reactions to myself, but i'll tell you that i have never felt more treasured in my life.

I was 22 years old the first time someone told me that I never deserved the abuse at home. I was 25 years old when i told my mother i forgave her for the physical stuff, but that i couldn't forgive her for stealing my feeling of home and safety. And i was today years old when i wrote it down for anyone to see.

I've been taking my meds for about 17 years now, but I have yet to actually get a normal metabolism. My last stunt was that i suddenly didn't need that much medicine so my metabolism speed up to lifethreatening speed and i had to endure panic attacks, dizziness, lack of consentration and shaking so bad that i almost quit school and almost sent me into a brainfailure (yes thats a thing) over the summer. My doctors paniced and reduced my meds so much that i didn't get nearly enough. This ended with me loosing weight, not eating, shaking, being sick and passing out all over the place, and almost sent me into a life threatening coma as my body overcompensated for the loss of thyroid hormones. My dad said something i've never heard my family say before. We were eating dinner last weekend and i was having a bad day when he told me "its painful to watch you struggle like this". And i almost cried, this was the first time in forever that a parent told me that they see me. And now i'm finally starting to get back to where im used to.

I have skipped a lot of stuff that happened. Some things i don't think i'll ever talk about, and some things that are too personal or too painful or too stupid to write down. But i needed to work through the new stuff, to reflecr back and to realise how close i came to loosing my life again this year. How lucky i am that i not only held on for dear life, but that with all the crap i felt. All the sickness and panic and everything. I managed to finish this semester at school. I managed to survive again, and im 6 months away from reaching my goal of allways being able to help when im needed. I am so proud of myself for getting to where i am today. And im so thankful!!

[lancetuckershairgel]

Atonement

Characters: Dean Winchester x Chase Collins

Words: 1,903

Warnings: priest!kink, blasphemy, catholic, humiliation, degrading, punishment, bondage, male on male action, smut, straight up filth, beautiful unholy filth

A/N: Went and made myself a crack ship. Whoopsies.

Tag List: @southernbell91 @buckysforeverprincess @marvelgirl7 @mycupoffanfictionreplies @msruchita @brat-in-a-teacup @collinsstanharbour @louisianaspell @randomfandompenguin @anxiousamandapanda @jobean12-blog @book-dragon-13 @abovethesmokestacks @tranquil--heart @i-have-arrived-bitch

Chase Collins had found himself back in the headmaster's office once again. It seemed to be a habit for the young college kid to cause trouble and end up sitting in front of the big oak desk waiting for the headmaster to give him his reprimanding. What the headmaster couldn't figure out was why Chase was acting the way he was. 

Chase rapped his fingers against the chair he sat in as he waited for Father Dean to come into his office. When the door opened Chase's skin flushed and began riddled with goose flesh without even having seen his superior. 

"You can't seem to learn your lesson, can you Mr Collins?" Father Dean asked as he stood in front of Chase with his arms crossed over his chest

"It appears that way, Father." 

Chase couldn't hide his smirk as his eyes flickered up at the priest. 

"This college doesn't have a place for brats and troublemakers. I suggest you get your act together before you find yourself expelled." 

"Yes, Sir." Chase squirmed in his seat, his cock already pressing against his uniform slacks "I suppose I'll be punished now?"

"No."

"But...that's what you always do!" Chase's complaint had a twinge of a whine mixed into the surprised tone

"And it does no good, does it?" Father Dean gestured outward with his hand  "Just yesterday you were sitting in front of me, and here you are back again today. I think a different approach is needed."

"What kind of approach?"

"Confession."

Chase blinked, then swallowed, heat growing inside of him. 

"When was the last time you confessed, Chase?" 

"I...uh...it's been awhile, Father." 

"Then that's your problem.  Temptation and sin consumes those who don't seek forgiveness. Go on, let's hear it." 

Chase remained silent, chewing the inside of his bottom lip. Father Dean removed the rosary beads from around his neck and began to wind the beads around his fingers. Chase watched, incapable of thinking of anything other than the headmaster's fingers inside of him. He licked his lips and knelt to the ground  before the priest, looking up at him. 

"Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned." 

Father Dean reached out a hand and placed it against Chase's cheek, an innocent gesture but Chase had to bite back a moan. 

"Tell me my child, what are your transgressions"

My child.

Chase was about to explode. He had to think quick, and with the right head, but the only thing on his mind was the headmaster bending him over the desk and fucking him raw. 

"I've lusted, Father."

Father Dean hesitated. Chase was looking up at him with bright blue eyes. Eyes full of need and desperation. Desperate need for forgiveness? Father Dean wasn't sure.  

"I've lusted so hard, Sir, for someone I have no business having those thoughts about. The things I've thought are sinful, vile. I've touched myself to the thought of them. I can't stop."

"Oh...well" Father Dean swallowed, tilting his head as he looked down at the boy and tried to push the thoughts running through his own head aside "I..we all lust, my child, it's a part of our human nature. It's how we react to those thoughts that's the--oh God!"

Father Dean's speech was cut short. Chase had slightly turned his head to take the priest's thumb into his mouth and was gently sucking it while looking up at his superior. It was sensual, erotic, and the man couldn't deny the fact that his cock was growing inside his pants. 

"Chase...what are you...you...i..we shouldn't. We can't."

"Why not, Father?" Chase tilted his head and blinked innocently, sucking harder on the thumb "What's wrong? Afraid of a little temptation?" 

Chase smirked and reached up to cup the headmasters cock, massaging it through the black slacks. 

"You want it too, don't you?" 

"It's wrong."

"That's what makes it so much fun." 

The sound of a zipper sliding and then the feeling of air hitting his cock as Chase removed it from its covering made Father Dean groan. Chase's hand wrapped around it, stroking. 

"Mr Collins. This is inappropriate."

Chase leaned forward and swirled his tongue around the head, sucking it between his lips and the Father's hips jerked. Chase moaned as Father Dean's hand wrapped into his hair. 

"I...I should punish you for this."

"Oh God yes. Please punish me." Chase whined, taking a long lick down the underside "I'm such a bad boy."

"Over my desk."

Father Dean removed his suit coat, then his vest, leaving only the black dress shirt and white collar. He removed the belt from his pants and folded it over once, snapping the fine leather. The sound sent a chill down Chase's spine and he quickly removed his pants, slowly sliding them over his hips. Father Dean groaned at the sight, his eyes widening as he saw the lacey white boy short cut underwear Chase was wearing. The panties were snug between his cheeks, the round globes of flesh looking absolutely perfect. Father Dean could feel a damp spot form in his briefs and he let out a breath. 

"You are a dirty boy, aren't you?" 

"Very, Sir." Chase leaned over the desk, spreading his legs "You should hit me hard this time."

Father Dean moaned before taking his place behind Chase's laid out form and began to strike his bottom with the belt. Chase remained still but moaned with every strike. 

"Harder Father, make me repent." 

"Slut." Father Dean spat out, hitting Chase again square on one cheek "Harlot. You come to me on purpose just to have your ass beat."

More strikes, Chase's ass turning a bright red with welts. 

"Then you go home and jerk your cock to the thought of me punishing you. Is that it?"

"Y-yes, Father." 

Chase was in a state of euphoria. The sting of his ass, he words the priest said, the names. He was in Heaven. 

"Tell me what other things you've thought about, Whore. Repent all of your sins to me." 

Chase began to rattle off every lustful thought he had about the headmaster since the day he had met him, all while his ass continued to be beaten with the belt. He told the priest how he wanted him to gag him with his collar, tie him to the desk and take his cherry. How he wanted the priest to publicly whip and humiliate him in front of the entire school then be taken back to the office to be fucked. How he wanted to wear short skirts and knee high socks for the priest and be called a pretty girl just for the sake of being humiliated. 

By the time Chase was done confessing both he and Father Dean were exhausted and slick with sweat. Chase's ass was a fiery red and the slightest brush of air made is burn so sweetly. He'd have a difficult time sitting in class for a few days. Chase wiped the tears from his cheeks and sniffled, reaching back to rub his sore bottom. 

"Do you feel better, my child?" 

"Not quite, Sir." 

Chase let out a sudder, his body twitching. He sat up and turned around to show the print of his cock through the panties, hard and dripping. Father Dean groaned, his tongue jutting out to run along his bottom lip. 

"Up on the desk, Chase." 

Chase pushed himself up on the desk and spread his legs wide, his hands going to rub his lace covered cock as he watched the headmaster step toward him. 

"Give me your hands" 

Chase held his hands out and the Father made quick work of wrapping the belt around them, binding them tight. He then took Chase's arms and lifted them, bending at the elbow so they were behind his head. Chase's lips parted and he squirmed against the wood desk, the pain from his spanked ass causing him to drip more pre-cum. 

"You're a filthy, sinful little slut aren't you?" 

"Yes Father" 

Chase's words were cut short with a sharp gasp as the priest ripped the panties from his body, pulling until the material was free. They were soon forgotten about as the priest lifted Chase's legs and bent them so that his hoke was exposed. 

"Ever had anyone take you before?" 

"N-no Sir, I haven't. Just myself." 

"What do you do to yourself, slut?" 

"I.I used my fingers at first but it wasn't  enough so I bought a dildo. A big one."

Chase blushed furiously at the Father's smirk. His cock twitched upward, aching for any form of stimulation. 

"Please. I want you so bad, Father." Chase pleaded, near tears

"Open." 

Father Dean shoved two of his fingers to the back of Chase's throat causing him to gag and the tears spill over. 

"Suck" Father Dean commanded 

Chase sucked, moaning as he kept his eyes locked on the priest. After a few moments of finger sucking and intense eye fucking, Father Dean removed his fingers with a pop,  string of drool following with them and dripping down Chase's chin. The younger man gasped as he felt the Father's fingers press against his hole, slowly sliding in. It was tight fight, but the burn felt just as delicious as the wood against his ass. 

"Oh Father!" 

"That's it, take it. You're such a good little whore arent you? Already knuckle deep." Father Dean grunted as he began scissoring his fingers back and forth, stretching Chase's hole. He leaned over and bit the boys neck as he fingered him, sucking a very noticeable bruise into the skin. Chase cried out, jerking his hips against the desk and the fingers that brought him so much delicious pain. 

"FATHER!" 

The priest picked up the pace, fingering Chase faster. When Chase went to move his arms, obviously wanting to stroke his cock, Father Dean reached back and grabbed the strap of the belt, holding them taut behind his head. 

"No!" Father Dean growled in Chase's ear before biting another mark into his skin 

"F-father please. I can't, I'm gonna cum please I need you to fuck me." 

"You think I'm going to fuck a filthy slut like you? You've already booked your one way ticket to hell, boy, you're not dragging me down with you." Father Dean hissed in Chase's ear, his fingers rapidly massaging the swollen prostate "Think they let harlots into heaven? Fuck no. Pretty thing like you is going to be Satan's bitch for the rest of eternity." 

The priests words burned into Chase's core and he lost control. His cock jerked as spurts of hot cum sprayed out. His body shook and the muscles in his ass squeezed around the headmaster's fingers. He cried out, tears streaming down his face. He panted and looked up at Father Dean, his mouth hanging open and his body trembling from the intensity of the hands free orgasm. Father Dean smirked, his green eyes dark with his own lust. He brought his fingers up to Chase's lips and Chase opened his mouth ready to receive them, no matter how vile and dirty it was. 

"Mr Collins?" 

"Mr Collins!"

The rapping off a ruler against his desk jolted Chase from his daydream, a small string of drool dribbling from the corner of his mouth. He blushed as his classmates laughed at him and he looked up at Sister Margaret's unamused expression. 

"Huh?"