#i haven't written in a long time so this was a nice exercise

[goatpunches]

a touch of honey

Relationships: Zhuzhi-lang / Gongyi Xiao

Tags: Modern AU, Coffeeshop AU, Fluff, Background Tianxi

Word Count: 5.3k

Summary: Zhuzhi-lang is trying to make it as a writer, but his life is interrupted by a certain (annoyingly handsome) barista at his favorite coffee spot. It doesn't help when his friends and family seem intent on setting the two of them up.

Zhuzhi-lang frowns. “What?” This wasn’t part of the routine and he feels thrown off. The barista says something again, smiling and pointing at his face. Zhuzhi-lang sighs and takes his headphones off, nearly getting a migraine at the sudden influx of noise. “What?” He asks again. His eyes flit over the form of the barista, taking him in. He has dark hair tied up in a ponytail without a lock out of place, sleeves perfectly cuffed, and a clean-cut air that verges on unrealistic. He reminds Zhuzhi-lang of the protagonists in Tianlang-jun’s dramas whose appearances were signaled by slow-mo pans, showing off their perfect teeth and sparkling eyes. Zhuzhi-lang tries his best not to sneer. How annoying.

You can read it here!

[linkemon]

Mayhem (Noctis Lucis Caelum x Reader) [Soulmate AU]

Friendly reminder that English is not my first language. You can check my Masterlists both in English and Polish here. Consider supporting me on Ko-fi. You can also check out my commissions if you’re interested.

Other oneshots can be found here.

"ꜱʜᴇ ᴡᴀꜱɴ'ᴛ ʜᴀᴘᴘʏ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜᴇ ꜱᴘᴀʀʀɪɴɢ ʀᴇꜱᴜʟᴛ ʙᴜᴛ ꜱʜᴇ ᴋᴇᴘᴛ ʜᴇʀ ᴘʀᴏᴍɪꜱᴇ. ꜱʜᴇ ʀᴏʟʟᴇᴅ ᴜᴘ ʜᴇʀ ꜱʟᴇᴇᴠᴇ, ʀᴇᴠᴇᴀʟɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛᴀᴛᴛᴏᴏ ᴏɴ ʜᴇʀ ꜰᴏʀᴇᴀʀᴍ. ᴛʜᴇ ʙʟᴀᴄᴋ ʟɪɴᴇ ꜰᴏʀᴍᴇᴅ ᴀɴ ᴏʀɴᴀᴛᴇʟʏ ᴡʀɪᴛᴛᴇɴ 'ꜰᴀʀᴇᴡᴇʟʟ'."

ᴀᴅᴅɪᴛɪᴏɴᴀʟ ɪɴꜰᴏʀᴍᴀᴛɪᴏɴ: 1. ᴍᴀᴊᴏʀ ꜱᴘᴏɪʟᴇʀꜱ ʀᴇɢᴀʀᴅɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇᴠᴇɴᴛꜱ ᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴇɢɪɴɴɪɴɢ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ɢᴀᴍᴇ. 2. ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ꜱᴏᴜʟᴍᴀᴛᴇ ᴀᴜ, ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ᴍᴏꜱᴛ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ (ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜ ɴᴏᴛ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴏɴᴇ) ᴀʀᴇ ɢɪꜰᴛᴇᴅ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜᴇ ᴀʙɪʟɪᴛʏ ᴛᴏ ꜰɪɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇɪʀ ꜱᴏᴜʟᴍᴀᴛᴇ.

— You lost! Show it! — Gladio shouted right next to [Reader's] ear.

— You cheated — she gasped, clutching the wooden sword.

— All's fair in love and war!

— We're not at war, we're just doing training exercises — the little girl replied.

She wasn't happy with the sparring result but she kept her promise. She rolled up her sleeve, revealing the tattoo on her forearm. The black line formed an ornately written "Farewell"

— I was hoping for something better.

— Do not get smart up. You don't have the skill yourself yet.

— It won't be easy to find a soulmate with something like that. I hope my skill will be better.

The girl didn't want to admit it but she was thinking exactly the same thing. Many people were given simpler instructions. She has always dreamed of a timer or a red thread. They didn't require much attention. Meanwhile, she was given a word that anyone could have said to her.

— Maybe I'll hear my soulmate say goodbye to someone? Or will this be a slogan describing our entire relationship? You know... we'll be such a nice couple that we won't want to be apart?

***

[Reader] stared at the three friends who had come to the training ground. She was glad Noctis wasn't with them.

She thought no one would come here in the middle of the night. She had been able to avoid meetings over the past few days but it seemed like that wasn't the case this time.

— I don't want to talk to you.

She swung her sword, practicing the sequence.

— Listen, you can just sit here for me but he doesn't want to go anywhere without you...

Gladiolus didn't finish his sentence because Prompto kicked him in the ankle with all his might.

— How can you say such things to a girl? — Prompto was outraged. — Sorry, I have to send a text message quickly. — He took out his phone.

Ignis looked at the other two and sighed. He adjusted his glasses. He felt the need to do this whenever he got irritated.

— Why are you avoiding the prince?

— Damn it! We all know why. We are not making idiots of ourselves.

King's Shield was tired. He wanted to put the whole trip behind him. Altissia was far from Insomnia. They had a long journey ahead of them and he felt like he was babysitting Noctis instead of preparing for it.

The prince insisted that he wanted to see [Reader] at his wedding to Lunafreya. He proposed it to her and she awkwardly excused herself and they haven't seen each other since.

— Wait... so we know why she's avoiding him? — Prompto frowned in concentration.

It took him a few seconds to understand what Gladiolus was talking about.

— Aaah... That's what you mean... — He tapped his forehead lightly.

— Let's end this circus. You're coming with us. Even the king said it was a great idea.

— He didn't give me an order.

[Reader] knew she was arguing like a little child but she had a hard time hiding her reluctance.

— Stop being so selfish! — Gladio knocked the training sword out of her hand.

He did it easily. He surpassed her in terms of physical strength. Not to mention his skills were next level.

He froze the moment he saw her face. The moonlight helped him see tears in the corners of his eyes. She turned her head to wipe them gently.

He felt guilty.

They had been friends since childhood.

— Damn it! — He pinched the bridge of his nose. — I'm sorry, okay? I'm just... fed up with it.

Ignis didn't say anything. He looked at him reprimandingly and Gladio realized that he was in for a good sermon. Ignis took an embroidered handkerchief from his pocket and handed it to the girl. She accepted it gratefully.

— It's not your fault... none of you... Let's be honest, neither is it Noctis's fault. But so what? Should I be a bridesmaid at a wedding I don't want to see? Watch someone I've been in love with for so many years get married? Congratulate my rival with whom I never stood a chance? I want Noctis to be happy but... that doesn't mean I have to watch it all.

The girl felt all the emotions she had been carrying since the announcement of the engagement slipping away. Grief gripped her heart and the words stuck in her throat. Her fingers tightened around Ignis's handkerchief. There was a deafening silence, broken only by the night chirping of crickets.

The friends looked towards the entrance. She followed their gaze.

He stood there.

— We'll leave you two alone — Prompto suggested.

He hoped [Reader] wouldn't find out that he was the one who notified Noctis via text message. Otherwise he would be in big trouble.

— I think we need to talk — said the prince.

— You didn't overhear everything? — she asked bitterly.

Blue eyes stared at her intensely.

— I want you to tell me about it properly now.

— NO. — She sat down on the stone wall. — Do you know why? Because it doesn't make sense. I won't change anything.

— You know...

— I know! You are responsible for Lucis... And you will be king one day... And you love Lunafreya... And we need this marriage...

Noctis looked at the brightly shining moon above his head.

It was as if in its light he could no longer hide anything.

He felt he had failed as a friend.

He knew for a long time. He just never wanted to let that thought come to the fore. It was easier to push it to the bottom of his mind and tell himself it was just a delusion. He was afraid to face a feeling he didn't reciprocate.

— [Reader], if you had told me earlier...

She felt a pang in her chest. He had no soulmate skill. Fate didn't decide for him. He chose Luna of his own free will.

— I wouldn't change anything. You love each other and I want you to be happy but please — she took a deep breath — don't make me go there. My heart can't bear it.

In her imagination she saw a beautiful bride. Blond curls were tied up in a high bun and the white dress rustled with every step. The Oracle held a bouquet of her favorite blue flowers as she looked for her fiancé.

Her fingers gripped the stone tightly.

He could give an order if he wanted.

— Then stay... but promise me our friendship won't end like this.

The prince felt that the thread that had connected them for a long time was breaking. He wanted desperately to save it, even though he felt it was over. All the years they spent together were gone.

— I promise that I will come after the wedding, together with your father, when I get myself together a bit. — She headed towards the exit.

— Farewell — he said with a slight smile.

She glanced briefly at the tattoo that had been with her for many years.

She didn't answer him.

***

— What is it about? — Noctis asked.

Ignis entered the room with a newspaper in his hand.

— Read it.

The Fall of Insomnia , said the headline. Gladiolus read it aloud, feeling growing anxiety.

— Is this some joke?

The prince wanted to tear out the newspaper and make sure he had heard correctly.

— There was an attack. The Imperial army has occupied the capital — Gladio continued. — The Treaty Room flashed brightly. Explosions were also heard. When the smoke cleared, the king was found... dead. — Gladio looked up.

— No... But... Wedding... Altissia...

— I know. That was the plan but... all the headlines in town can't be wrong.

Ignis looked at Noctis with regret. There was no way there could be a mistake.

The boy felt his heart beating fast and a cold sweat break out on him.

— Liars! — he shouted. — We have to check that.

— Shall we turn back? — Prompto assured.

— Yes.

***

— Betrayal! Protect His Majesty!

[Reader] managed to kill three opponents before she fell to the ground. Lights flashed all around and a loud explosion deprived her of hearing.

She put her fingers to her chest in surprise. A red, sticky liquid flowed from the deep wound. She tried to make a sound but was interrupted by darkness.

***

— Maybe these will be the last words you hear from him? He'll see you and decide it's time to say goodbye or something — he laughed.

— Gladio, I'm going to kill you!

— I'd like to see you try — said the new, short, dark-haired boy.

He poked his head out from behind one of the pillars and curiously walked to the middle of the training ground.

— I think it's time for me to introduce you to the spoiled prince. Noctis Lucis Caelum and his titles that I don't feel like listing...

[netherworldpost]

Hey, just wanted to let you know that thanks to you, I've written out a few zine ideas (mostly weird and designed to be made badly, but one that I will probably make to be Nice so I can show it to family and appear to be professional or something). I haven't drawn them all out yet, but you helped me feel like I can do a thing that I've been thinking about and didn't have the words for how to make for a long time. Now I have a medium (art and silly words) to do it (talk about weird obscure facts that I'm interested about and probably at least 3 other people care about). So anyway, I just wanted to say thanks for being the kind of weird that helped to make me feel less alone and like I can make strange and cruddy artwork to talk about my interests in the hope of finding other weirdos like me. I hope you're having a good night and tell the moon and mermaids I said hi.

Hey thats amazing!!!

When you start drawing it, or if you don't want to wait and draw it -- then before you start to produce it -- make what's called "a paper dummy."

This is literally just a paper mock up of the final size, binding, whatever, using scrap paper.

Make it, then write big numbers "page 1, page 2" (etc) then unbind it, unfold it, etc. Now you'll see "okay page one should go here... page 2 should go there..."

Keep making them. Long as it is fun. Long as it is rewarding. Regardless of audience.

It's super easy to confuse "art" and "marketing" and I think that's one of the big things that chomps people when it comes to "I made this thing, no one is looking at it?"

Art and marketing are DISTANT cousins.

Some of the most popular and prolific and amazing artists online and offline media use really simple forms and shapes. Some of the most amazing technical exercises you'll ever stumble into are virtually unknown.

It's all irrelevant.

Your goals are the singular relevant thing.

I advocate for "have fun" as the primary goal because you're exclusively in charge of that. Everything can grow -- if you want it to -- from this point.

You should make your zine and you should show your zine to people who are interested in the zine's subject and if you're on solid levels with this person you should give them the zine.

Then you should make more.

If you make the zine and you think "I love this and I want more people to see it, this would please me" then look into marketing. Huge corporate word full of as much moonlight as sleeze but it boils down to:

Make thing

Figure out who likes this thing

Show it to people who like the thing

Make more things

Repeat from beginning

Forever

Marketing is...

...tricky.

Sometimes fun. Sometimes gross. Rarely cheap. Occasionally worth it. Literally never ending if you go this route.

FREQUENTLY a repeated exercise of being in the right place at the right time with the right widget -- be it a thing you're selling or something you post online because you want to share.

Cutting the ramble short -- there is a reason why Coca-Cola is served in nearly every country on earth and has for decades AND STILL MARKETS.

It's an unending task that is constantly reinvented. When I say "there are town-sized departments of people dedicated exclusively to Coca-Cola and figuring out how to remind people it exists -- not buy it, just remind them that it exists" I am talking from experience. In college I briefly interned at one of these companies. Their entire account was literally "remind people Coca-Cola exists."

As I say, getting people to know the thing you made exists is tricky.

It is--

also

completely optional

make the thing and have fun making the thing then have more fun making more versions of the thing, new variants, re-dos as skills improve, as ideas bubble up, as "...huh"

That. Is. POWER.

Sometimes making art and zines is a hobby.

Sometimes it is a way of talking.

Sometimes that talking is with yourself, now.

Yourself in the past.

Yourself in the future.

Others.

Lots of mixes here.

Sometimes it's a way of shaping the world a bit more into a shape that you want to exist by making something and now it exists and the world is different, yours first and foremost.

I am happy to welcome you to the human classification of "artist." There are billions of us, from the early days of humanity up through now and going onwards for as long as humans exist.

Welcome.

I'm so glad you're here.

But remember.

I am not at credit here.

I merely opened a door that was already there.

You did this.

You are planning this, you are going to make this, you're going to make it better next time, you're going to figure out "This is who I am, this is what I want, this is how I'm going to get it," and then you're going to make it.

And it's going to sit on your desk.

And the world will be slightly better because YOU made THIS THING.

That is power.

[chimkin-samich]

Hi!

I have had a block for both writing and drawing for several years. I look at your works with longing in my eyes and think how wonderful it would be to draw regularly again. I was never particularly talented and had many gaps in learning to draw, but I enjoyed it. Now I don't know how to start drawing or writing. My laptop is full of unfinished stories. I have lots of ideas for drawings, but it's hard for me to get down to work.

Therefore, my question is: Do you have any advice for people who haven't drawn/written for several years and would really like to get back to it, but can't motivate themselves, have no ideas, etc.? Or quite the opposite. They have lots of ideas, but for some reason they can't draw anything?

Greetings and have a nice morning/day/evening/night!

Hello! Sorry it took so long to respond, I wanted to make sure I could respond properly to this so I thought it over a lot, I’m going to put it under a read more cuz it’s gonna get long lol

I (sly) am kinda in the same position as you at least when it comes more to art, writing ive kinda cracked the block but still trying to break through the ice, all the art on our blog is Ferals art, I only complete the line work and shading (but not always) I haven’t drawn any of my own stuff in probably a few years but I’m trying to get back into it cuz I miss it as well, I completely get the whole feeling of looking at Feral’s art and wanting to create my own but finding it so difficult to do

For the art aspect my plan is to start at square 1, start how I first starting drawing, which for me was to look up refs, animals and draw them by sight, just to get back into the groove of trying to bring back that muscle memory, maybe you started by tracing images, you could trace only the rough outlines and then shade and detail them, just something simply and easy, you probably won’t be happy with the results (I know I certainly won’t be with my own) but it’s a start

Look up things that you enjoy, draw your squad, incorrect quotes to do with ocs maybe even draw them out, try and keep it simple, you don’t need to create a masterpiece on the first day back, any attempt is a step forward even if you dislike it, try it out at least once a day everyday, a simple doodle just for fun or to exercise your muscle memory again, the first part is gonna be hard and messy, that’s totally ok! All that matters is the attempt!

For the writing aspect try and keep it simple as well, focus on making short one-shots or even just bullet point dialogues, your old unfinished writing isn’t going anywhere, when you feel comfortable enough to attempt to continue it just go for it!

I had a big gap in my writing periods and sometimes I still go a few months with out touching any of my stories, blocks happen and are normal, something that I try to get back into is read other people’s work, both to see the writing style and to get some inspiration to continue my own works

When I actually get down to actually writing my story I just dump down the story as I think it, I just keep writing even if it looks messy and grammatically incorrect to at least get the story moving and progressing. After I have the rough story down, is when I go back to correct spelling mistakes, add more details/dialogues or events in between to create a much better flow for the story

I usually do this multiple times for each fic I create, usually in between pauses (either due to blanking on ideas or just cuz I wasn’t feeling it) so whenever I reopen my doc, I just reread and add on, then I do it again one or two more times once it’s completed

I struggle a lot with perfectionism when it comes to my art and writing, and unfortunately it’s a big killer for my motivation, especially when I see others that make better works than me. I’ve been slowly unlearning that urge to make everything perfect, by just allowing myself to have messy and rough works, it’s not always going to come out how I want it but at least I got it as close as I could in the moment with my current skill level

I like to tell myself, the more I keep doing it, the more I’ll improve, and I’ll always be able to come back with more ideas and skill to remake this better than my first attempts, just because I did it doesn’t mean I can’t try to do it again

Being easier on yourself does wonders (I know easier said than done unfortunately 😭) but your practically having to relearn skills that have gotten rusty, even if you were doing great before, your gonna have to build back up to that point, it’s just like exercising a muscle ✨

I hope this was able to help! I wish you much luck in your journey back into art and writing!

[sporco-filth]

i started writing this story a very long time ago. it's probably only the second or third slob story I'd written at the time and i was still getting comfortable writing about kink stuff (because it feels so self indulgent to do so and embarrassing even if you're the only one reading it).

Still, it's decent enough and I just kept adding to it over the years so it's a pretty big work of writing (over 16000 words apparently which i just checked and am surprised about enough that i had to triple check it). Since it's so long I'm splitting it into pieces.

Synopsis: Lee is a neat freak and moves in with a slob called Bob. Lee realises he has a slob fetish and slowly but surely gives in to his desires.

Bob looked into his fridge and scratched his belly. He pulled out a large piece of cake and shut the door. He sat down on the couch, moving aside some empty takeaway containers from who knows when, and opened a bottle of coke. Cake and soft drink: the perfect breakfast. Flicking boredly through the TV, he thought how six months ago he'd never have been able to enjoy this. Back then he was dating Velma, a health nut and a clean freak. She was nice and all but he couldn't stand her nagging. Bob preferred to laze on the couch all day rather than tire himself out walking; his five main food groups were fatty, sugary, salty, carbs and meat; he didn't care about living in a pigsty and his prowess in belching, to him, was a symbol of masculinity. Velma had tried to whip him into shape, and for a while he was pretty close to giving in. But after a weekend with the boys he remembered all the best things about his old, bachelor ways and decided the relationship had to end.

Now, Bob can eat junk food till he's stuffed, burp long and loud, leave his dirty undies on the floor and never needs to wash again; the closest he'll ever get to sport is watching it on TV. Bob, finishing the last of his cake, let out a loud belch. He patted his prominent gut, the product of years of avoiding physical activity and following a strict diet of takeout, beer and never skipping dessert. He was very proud of it.

Suddenly, he heard a knock at the door and, rather reluctantly, got up to check. Standing there was a thin, fairly athletic guy holding a newspaper clipping. "Are you Mr Gutt?" He asked, reading off the paper. "I'm here to see about renting the apartment." "Yeh, that's me," Bob replied. "Come on in. What's your name?" "I'm Lee," he said. It was then that he looked up and saw the man in front of him in all his slobbishness. He was visibly surprised but made no comment. "So, uh, why are you renting out this place?" He asked, avoiding the elephant in the room. "My girlfriend moved out a while back. I haven't been able to find anyone since though." Lee thought he could tell why, but didn't say anything as he took it all in: the piles of unwashed dishes stacked high in the sink, the dirty laundry thrown about everywhere, the junk food wrappers strewn about, the overflowing trash cans, the bathroom that seemed like it hadn't been cleaned in years. It was a complete and utter pigsty.

Lee was oddly titillated by all this: the total abandon and laissez faire attitude, the heady stench of sweat and filth, the naughtiness of such indulgence. He knew he shouldn't agree, but he so wanted to, and there hadn't been any place with as cheap a rent in so good an area… He let his desires control him and soon found himself signing the deal. "I'll be moving in as soon as I can," he said. "I can't wait!" Bob was a little surprised someone so clean and thin would want to live in a place like this, he was a little concerned he might end up with a repeat of Velma, but he wasn't going to refuse an applicant willing to pay.

The next week, Lee had moved into the spare room. Still in his usual habits, he had a perfectly made bed, freshly pressed clothes hung neatly and was still following his regular diet and exercise plan. Bob was a little perturbed, but the cleanliness hadn't infected the rest of the house so he let it slide. Lee longed to join Bob in his slobdom, however, but couldn't muster the audacity to let himself go like his roommate.

Lee would get up early for his morning jog. Entering the living room, he'd see Bob asleep on the couch, TV still on from his late-night binge-watching, lap full of crumbs from his midnight snack, and Lee would envy that freedom Bob had to do as he pleased. Preparing breakfast, he'd see all of Bob's sugary biscuits as he got his muesli from the pantry, would see all his chocolates and chips as he looked for his fruit, and all the soft drinks and beer when he took his water bottle out of the fridge. His stomach growled, hungry for those delicious, calorific foods, but he refused that desire. Taking a shower, he'd notice the dirty socks and underwear that were scattered around the bathroom and the unflushed toilet. He longed to be able to live in that state of filth, to never have to bathe again and just revel in his own stench, but he couldn't…

Lee's runs gave him a chance to clear his mind of his desires; he couldn't live like that, he just couldn't. It wasn't his life. His life was clean, fit, healthy, hygienic, polite, neat, tidy, thin, fresh, pure…

But try as he might, the thought of what his life might be like if he gave into his desires plagued him throughout the day. During a dull moment in the office, his mind wandered from thought to thought. Soon he found himself daydreaming: there he was, lazing on the sofa, wearing nothing but a pair of old tighty whities, mouth full of greasy pizza, watching TV late at night. In his imagination, he grabbed a bottle of beer, took a swig, and belched. He patted his gut proudly… Wait, gut? Yes, in this fantasy, Lee had a beer belly that would rival Bob's: the product of an indulgent, couch potato lifestyle. Lee drifted back to reality and noticed how excited that fantasising had left him. Who'd have thought he could be so turned on by something so… dirty. Lee shook his head, it was just a silly fetish, nothing more. He put it out of mind for the rest of the day.

When he returned home, he saw Bob scrounging around the kitchen, looking for something to eat. He was always eating, whatever he wanted, whenever he felt like it. "How was work?" He asked, trying to decide between chocolate and doughnuts. "Alright," said Lee, watching as Bob ended up choosing both. "The usual." "Did you want anything?" Bob asked, proffering him the box of doughnuts. "Oh, wait sorry. I keep forgetting you don't eat this sort of food." Lee smiled. "That's ok, it's not like I'm offended or anything." Bob plopped himself down on the couch and put his feet up on the coffee table, pushing aside a haphazard pile of trash in the process. "You remind me a lot of my ex: she was a obsessed with being healthy too. I can't understand people like you." Lee frowned. "What do you mean?" "I mean, why spend your life in misery when you can enjoy it and not worry about stupid things like making the bed or eating healthy. I tell you, you guys are obsessive." "I am not obsessive," protested Lee. "Sure you're not." "I'm not." "Prove it." Lee wasn't one to back down from a challenge. "Fine, what would you have me do?" Bob thought for a bit, he hadn't expected his challenge to be accepted. "It needs to be something kinda big, but nothing huge…" He had it. "I want you to sit down on the recliner, eat one of the donuts, drink a can of soda and you can't move or fidget until this episode finishes. And if you burp or anything, you need to let it loose and not say 'excuse me' or anything." "That's hardly fair!" "It's nothing, unless you really are obsessed with health and all that trash." "Fine, I'll do it." Lee sat down on the recliner, and picked up a doughnut from the box. He pulled the chair back and got into a comfortable position. Though he'd never let Bob know, he enjoyed the feeling of the soft, worn cushion on his bum. He could even feel the crumbs left by Bob from countless nights of snacking in that chair. He looked at the doughnut, the dim light (one of Bob's undies had inexplicably ended up on the hanging light) reflected off the sugary glaze. It looked so tempting, so sweet, so… unhealthy. He took a bite. It was heavenly. He savoured the sweet taste as he slowly chewed and swallowed. Then he ate more and more until the doughnut was all gone. He imagined it sitting in his stomach, all the sugary, fatty goodness. Then he took a swig of his soft drink. The bubbles tickled his throat and the sugary taste tingled his taste buds. After another few sips, he felt a burp coming. As per Bob's rules, he opened his mouth and let out a sizeable belch. Nothing amazing, but still fairly impressive for someone who'd pretty much never burped before. "Not bad, Lee," Bob said with a smile. "If I trained you, you could become a real pro. Listen to this." Bob took a gulp of beer and released a huge, manly belch. Lee felt his face flush, but rather than focusing on Bob's burp, Lee thought about what he had just said: "If I trained you…" Lee imagined that: instead of running marathons, he'd marathon TV shows; instead of dieting, he'd be overindulging; instead of doing sit ups, he'd be sitting down; instead of burpees, he'd practise burping. It was almost more than he could dream of.

The two passed the remainder of the show in silence except for the odd burp here and there. Lee regretted eating his doughnut so quickly and he soon felt like another. The more rational part of his mind told him that this was just a fun game: once it was over he'd get back to his normal life. The other part of him so wished that this 'game' would never end. Eventually, of course, it did end, and Lee hopped up off the chair, trying to shake off any thoughts of continuing. "That was ok," he said to Bob, feigning disinterest. "But I prefer exercise over sitting around all day." "Suit yourself," said Bob. "But at least I've proved I'm not obsessive." "If you say so."

The next morning, as Lee was about to make his bed, he thought 'why?' Why bother making his bed when it'll just need to be messed up again? Who was he trying to impress? Did it really matter if he did it or not? If it didn't, then why not just leave it unmade? So Lee left his bed in a mess and continued his day as normal, the bed completely leaving his thoughts. When he went to bed that night, however, slipping into the unmade sheets, he felt an odd sense of freedom. As if he was rebelling against the rules, as if he was being a bit naughty not making his bed. Waking up, Lee didn't give a second thought to his bed as he got ready and soon leaving his bed unmade almost became a morning ritual.

About a week after his little challenge with Bob, Lee was walking home from work when he noticed a bakery that, in the past, he had always paid no heed. What caught his eye was a collection of glistening doughnuts in the window. Just the sight of them made him think back to that one he ate during the challenge and his stomach growled. It was going to be a little while to dinner, he thought, and surely it wouldn't hurt if he just ate one. Lee went in and bought a doughnut, glazed and sticky. As he walked he took a bite and was reminded again of the heavenly rush of sugar. He almost moaned in delight. He finished the doughnut before he got home and threw the wrapper in a rubbish bin, wiping his mouth clean so Bob wouldn't find out he'd been letting his diet slip a little. Letting it slip was a bit of an exaggeration, he thought. One doughnut was a treat, that's all.

Lee managed to hold back his desire the next time he passed the bakery, trying to keep his mind resolute against his hunger. He wasn't going to slide down the slippery slope of unfitness. But just the thought of that, of being unfit and fat and lazy, left him kind of excited. He knew, however, that it was just a fantasy; he could never live like that.

[blysse-and-blunder]

in lieu of a long weekend

10pm, sunday, oct 8, 2023

it's canadian turkey-day tomorrow ~ it's windy and grey outside ~ there is pumpkin pie in the fridge and i'm wearing an extremely pleasing wooly sweater my housemate was going to give away. we've turned the heat on for the first time this season. the cozy season of the year has arrived.

reading finished victoria goddard's whiskeyjack, book 3 in the greenwing & dart series! reading this series for me is an exercise in noticing the easter eggs that tell me it was written by a medievalist, and an academic, and a medievalist academic with a degree from the program i'm currently in. there's so much in this particular volume about poetry analysis. she came so close to using the word 'semiotic' and actually did use the phrase 'exoteric.' while i might have quibbled about things like pacing and plot and how i still don't always think first-person is a good fit in the hands of most authors, these books are like tailor-made for me. i can't not enjoy them.

and then on the other hand, i spent some extremely happy hours this past week with patrick o'brian's post captain. when i first read the aubrey books, i was probably in high school, fresh out of racing through the hornblower series. because the aubreyad is-- i'll be honest-- better writing, but also demands more of you as a reader, i fully didn't appreciate like 80% of this book. i knew the series, as much by osmosis as by actual time spent reading, and reading it now? felt like coming home. especially since i now have the attention, and the ability, to read between the lines. to pick up on the irony, the allusions, the humor, the misdirection! the women oh my god how did i not appreciate sophie, diana, or mrs. williams before now. i didn't mind before how little of the larger world and society made it into the movie, but i actually understand the griping now. but even more than that, i found the ship action and actual, like, battle extremely tense and interesting this time; i was up well into the night at one point just to see what would happen next, because i was nervous for my dear boys.

watching friday night double-feature with @hematiterings where we enjoyed the first three new episodes of Our Flag Means Death and finished with another two of netflix's Arcane: League of Legends, which we're probably going to finish fairly soon so i'll focus on that one. just quickly though, had a great time with the first new ofmd episode, just extremely good work from all involved, and then was weirdly not as into the second two-- though the end of ep 3 was back to grand. i think in general i like where the season is going, and i'm going to withhold further comment until we've seen some more.

i was not expecting to like arcane as much as i have been. didn't have a clue what it was when we started, but the art style has absolutely blown me away. here's a quick run-down of the animation, which is a mix of hand-painted digital, 2D, and absolutely gorgeous. it looks like a video game and a painting at the same time-- not in the same way spiderverse combines animation and illustration, but with some familiar elements. people's eyes have this amazing jewel-like depth and clarity? scenery that made us go 'oh, paris looks so nice!' and 'man i love cyberpunk' and other such witticisms. but seriously, if you like good animation and also art nouveau-inspired steam-punk aesthetics, there's a lot here. plus a good (dare I? could league of legends be good, actually?) tragic story-line, and enough twists that i haven't seen coming, to really get me curious about what comes next.

listening a long time ago, probably back in 2021 around the time of the most recent album, i think @mankillercalledbunny was sharing playlists or links that featured The Amazing Devil, and at roughly the same time i had a spotify playlist include a track or two for me, and now here we are. had their two albums "ruin" and "the horror and the wild" on all week, which made it a bit hard to read at times because i would get caught in the lyrics. this is exactly the kind of music two people who met at the RSC would make, it is dramatic, sort of gothic, sort of folky, sort of theater. the contrary motion, the interweaving voices, esp. in the chorus of "marbles", is where i've been living recently. i like knowing this about joey batey, i like that he has this extra dimension now when i see him as jaskier! i hope he can find a way to come back to it again, whenever.

playing i finally (after how long!) got the wizard's ink well - witch's pendant - goblins (??) quest in stardew! not a hard one at all, but so satisfying to be able to use that hint that had been hovering there in the library for the past, oh, real-world year or so. i'm like 50 pieces of hardwood away from getting the ferry up and running too, and i'm excited to move off of the plateau i've been on and open up the next level of the world.

making i mentioned the pumpkin pie up top, and it did turn out well this year despite a distracted me happening to leave out the butter when mixing the filling-- i noticed before it got into the oven, luckily, and was able to add it in! but...while it was in the pie crust, which was kind of sloppy. no nicely pinched or braided crust for me this year. and then, since the size of can of pumpkin you buy here is always a little too big for the recipe, i tried out the smitten kitchen pumpkin bread that many friends have recommended before, and that has been a delight. moist without being dense or heavy, but still very substantial? a little bit less sugar than the recipe called for, and no freshly ground nutmeg, but we did have fresh ginger and overall it is very nice. it also rose architecturally, which was maybe a function of it being on a higher rack? or of me miss-counting scoops of baking soda? anyway, hilarious.

working on working on consistency. working on momentum. working on not getting in my own way. draft of this conference paper due 10/26, slides and notes for this guest lecture due 10/25, and the chapter abides. the conference paper serves it directly, however, which i feel good about. i keep finding new things to read about, and keep being glad i've continued researching, since i'm coming up with excellent (it feels) material to work with, but i can't let that get in the way of actually. writing.

[babblish]

20 questions of fic writers

Thanks for the tag @creativenicocorner!

Tagging: @dreamcrow @renee561 @megan0013 @ihateblocks I know it's NaNoWriMo so feel to ignore this one this busy season, but likewise if you're not tagged and wished to join in, feel free to do so. 🤔 I feel like I'm forgetting several people as it is.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

20 (and 1 draft)

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

710,674 so far (it should be 717,602 once the draft is published)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Tales of Arcadia, Dungeons and Dragons TTRPG, and this other one I won't share because I haven't finished the goddamn draft for yet and as such haven't published.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Under the Wave

Primordial Awakenings

Whispers Within

Honey and Lemon

Primordial Awakenings - Deleted Scenes

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes, always, and I try to give out as much as the commenter puts in. So an emoji gets an emoji, a paragraph gets a paragraph, a short essay gets an essay, etc. I do this because I think it's nice balanced response policy and I don't want to overwhelm readers who sent a short sentence of approval with a wall of text over how I think they're great (even though they are, in fact, quite great.)

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

🤔Under the Sun: The White Rabbit.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Whispers Within.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not directly, certainly not in the comments of a fic. I know my ships and blorbos are not popular with everyone, but honestly this is how it's always been. I typically like writing the weirdos and cardboard cutout characters who get/got treated dirty in canon.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes I do now. I put it off for a long time because I wasn't confident writing it enough to share it publicly, but I started publishing that kind of thing last year in attempt to Get Good.

It's essentially a personal exercise routine, highly recommend this to anyone struggling with a particular element of writing. Obviously it doesn't have to be even remotely spicy, I know not everyone is comfortable writing that kind of thing and I certainly expect anyone to read mine. It's just I was struggling with interpersonal physical interactions, choreography if you will, and the easiest way to practice these was either smut or combat scenes, and combat scenes seemed kind of a massive downer.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

To the best of my knowledge, I have never in my life written a crossover, nor do I currently have any wish to. The absolute closest has gotta be including a lot of OCs to fill roles that aren't quite filled in the canon cast, which as we all know is not quite the same. Full respect to our troops in the crossover trenches, I just don't think I have a brain that works like that.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I've definitely had art stolen (rip that one cute gnome PC I did for a friend), but never a fic... to my knowledge.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No but I've had my grammar and spelling corrected once or twice when I attempted a language I am not fluent in and made mistakes. (I owe you my life.)

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have co-written before, back in the day, and I'm not taking about rp forums but the dark fantasy/sci-fi writing project I shared as a teen with my brother and friend at the time. For fic specifically I've only beta'd.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

As a polyamorous multishipper this is a homophobic question. There's room on my top shelf for as many I want. 🤔 Many are Morticia and Gomez Addams shaped, or whatever the fuck was happening in The Road to El Dorado shaped, one has to admit.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Eugh probably The Homework Squad (a ToA fic with multiple PoV about Strickler's time as a teacher before he left that position.) Maybe I'll get to it one day, but I have so many other fics I'd much rather be working on now.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I've been told that I am very good at character voices and dialogue, and that I have the ability to control the tension of any given scene with pinpoint accuracy and twist the mood like a knife in the reader's heart without it seeming unnatural. This might be my dark fantasy background coming to the surface, ngl.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

These are such things that gets mentioned less in feedback because it would be a dick mood unprompted, but speaking as someone with no beta beyond myself and an ereader, I know that sometimes my prose can be stiff and awkward, and my sentences err towards the unwieldy to the point that reading aloud can be difficult.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Sometimes different languages can be important to the plot and characterisation, and in these cases I do write dialogue in other languages but also include translation RIGHT THERE for the readers instead of clumped down at bottom notes of the chapter.

Otherwise I will include a helpful little note in the dialogue tag to indicate if the speaker has switched languages.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Tales of Arcadia.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

It's probably Primordial Awakenings, but again I still have a soft spot for Whispers Within, and most if not all of my fics really. I pour a lot of myself into my fics, so they represent not just the fic themselves, but the particular time in my life when I was writing them.

[gwendeeagain]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love ❤

This is so cute?

I have a solid 180 works now which seems like a nice number so I'll answer this.

In no particular order:

New Game (Assclass, AU, Korosensei-centric, Karasuma, Gakushuu and Gakuhou)

I'm very fond of this fic because I consider it like... the "start?" of my interest into ao3 html experiments. The start of an era, if you would. It was also a fun little puzzle to figure out how to tell this story in a gamified format. It's not done because I did plan a sequel concept that I REALLY love and I hope to have enough stamina to write it!

--

Discography (Assclass, Gakushuu and Gakuhou, Demons)

I consider this fic as the love letter and a fond goodbye to an era of my life I never want to revisit. At risk of sounding cheesy, I genuinely felt like I healed something in myself when I was writing this + my other fic Illuminate alongside it. I chose this fic over Illuminate because I think Discography stands more gracefully on it's own.

--

Canyon (Assclass and Madoka Magica, Non-chronological order, Psychological Horror, Nagisa-centric)

I wrote this fic as a part of an Assclass Big Bang I joined, and it was at the time my longest non-Gakushuu centric fic and I consider it my most ambitious attempt to dare, at non-chrono psy horror. As a result I often go back to it and privately have fun re-reading it thinking about how smart I was. Lol

--

Laura (Genshin Impact, Second person perspective, psychological horror, Dottore-centric)

I'm always endlessly amused by this fic because it's like 565 words long and the word "you" is 148 of them. I'm always uneasy about posting too-short fics because I feel like I haven't said enough, but this fic is so freeing. It was an exercise on deciding what to say and I ended up cutting out so many words from what little I already had, and it was so carthatic to realize that yes, I've said what I wanted to say.

--

Anemo Anemo Alliteration (Genshin Impact, Lore, Archons-centric)

I always have great fun when I sit down to take a crack at the next update. Although the updates come like, once every new version of GI, I started this fic with a pretty experimental storytelling tone and since then I've been trying to committ with the little puns and gags I've inserted into the fic. I consider it like a writing puzzle to solve.

Ngl it was hard to make this list because I kept mentally apologizing to fics I didn't include.

I realize that my favorite fics aren't the ones I think I did the best in writing ability wise, but how fun and entertaining it was for me to write, or the sentiment and emotional weight I've attached to them.

[whisperingrockandroll]

WR&R MYSTERY KIDS LORE & WORLDBUILD MASTER POST

Gear up, kids, because this will be a long one.

It's been a while since I posted a new comic. Pretty soon there'll be a bunch, because I've been sitting on a mountain of scripts and just started making progress on actually making them into comics. I wanna build up a nice little backlog that I can queue up and not worry about for a long while. In the meantime though, I have something I hope will tide you guys over.

There's been a problem with my comic from the very beginning I've never really thought to address for years, and until now, I never found a good place for it. That problem is "worldbuilding." Originally when this comic started out, it was just a Psychonauts comic. Then I got into Mystery Kids, and the MKs just showed up out of nowhere.

If you're still interested, click under the cut. If you already find this post boring and kind of long, just skip it.

We never got any information on how the Mystery Kids club started or how they all met. For the longest time, I kind of just defered to the collective fandom's various disorganized headcanons and ideas and stuff. But I think enough time has passed that those ideas have all changed, been forgotten about, or branched off into their own individual works.

So, it's finally time for me to fix that by giving this comic its own set of lore and backstory. In this post I'm going to explain how everything happened, how the kids came together and what order everything happened in. This is kind of written for my own personal amusement, but also as a guide to keep in mind when I'm writing new stories in this setting, to keep things consistent.

PART ONE: THE CANON HISTORY

The first step for this little exercise is to figure out when all the stuff in the original "canon" happened. This is where things get a little messy, because we have to figure out a proper order for everything so all the pieces can fit into place.

First, we have to come up with a system for naming the different eras and phases where things happen, so we can more easily compartmentalize the different events. So we'll call the first year the Mystery Kids are together "Year One." Anything before that we'll call Year -1 or -2.

Year -2 is where we'll put the events of Paranorman. They happen in Fall, around Halloween probably. Nearly the end of the year. It's important to set this part the furthest back for reasons we'll get into later.

Year -1 is where we'll put Coraline and Psychonauts. Dipper and Mabel are still in Pidemont. There are a few references in the comic to Raz still having a water problem due to "the curse." But in PN2 he conquers the curse. We'll chock that up to lingering after-effects and him trying to get past the mental block.

Near the end of Year -1, Aggie returns and reunites with Norman in events identical to how they played out in Ask-Norgatha. A lot of things that happen are very similar to that old blog, with the exception being Norman and Aggie don't get together. That comes later.

Year 1 is when Gravity Falls happens. Coraline and Norman are family friends (or cousins? I haven't decided, maybe not. Maybe 'honoary cousins'?) Anyway, so: things play out pretty much how they did in that fan episode people made. Doctor Loboto (during a villainous relapse, or a manic episode) comes to Gravity Falls, Raz and Lili chase after him, Coraline and Wybie come with Norman's family on a vacation to Gravity Falls. Aggie stays behind because Norman doesn't want her to get lost. At this point, her Poltergeist powers haven't kicked in yet and other people can't see her, meaning she'd have no way to get home.

So, during Loboto's shennanigans, the kids all come together to stop him. That's when we move into…

PART TWO: THE FANON HISTORY

Note: in this period, my comic has a lot of Holiday specials. We're operating on Peanuts rules here, where the time-scaling slides around to keep the characters from aging. But we'll say in the "real" canon, the stuff that happens on Holidays actually happen on regular days, for the most part. If things "have to" happen on a Holiday, they'll all happen on the same one, just at different times. We'll try not to think too hard about this, because it's just a cartoon. We're out to make a consistent world, but not to arbitrarily restrict ourselves. None of this stuff happened in the "real" world anyway.

Anyway, moving right along to the rest of "Year 1." This is for the comics I made while the show was still airing, so things all kind of click together.

This is where the first Mystery Kids Adventure happens. The kids are all united and save the day. All of this happens right in the middle of the events of Gravity Falls. From then on out, the kids have adventures together on and off, but its a little hard because they have to travel a pretty great distance to hang out together. They keep in touch on social media and stuff, occasionally finding ways to fake excuses to go out and travel together. But mostly, the group is pretty disorganized.

Dib is also a mindless fanboy of the group and wants to join, but everybody thinks he's weird and annoying, so they try their best to politely blow him off. Then he builds a teleporter that lets the kids get together easier, but the thing just barely works. Dib is made a "junior member" and just sort of hangs around.

The kids have a "clubhouse", but it's just a shanty shack built by Soos, half a mile away from the Mystery Shack.

At some point during this period, the Bedlam returns and the kids have to team up to stop her. Aggie helps somehow with her newly-emerging poltergiest powers. The Bedlam is defeated, and that's the last "real" adventure they have for a little while. They don't have a reliable way to meet up anymore, so they only get together for parties and stuff. This is where the Season 3 Finale happens, if you've read my archives.

PART THREE: THE CURRENT SITUATION

From Season 4 and onwards, everything that happens to the Mystery Kids happens in Year 2. That's where we are now.

It starts with Dib on one of his own little adventures. Somehow, he ends up stumbling on an abandoned treehouse that used to belong to the Kids Next Door. It hasn't been populated in years, but its full of still-functional tech that just got left behind. With it, Dib's able to power-up the teleporter technology and now the Mystery Kids can come together whenever they want. You need to stand perfectly still for like five minutes for the teleporter to work, so it isn't a "get out of danger free" plot device.

Seems like a REALLY important development to happen offscreen and go totally unmentioned, right? Well… I thought of it retroactively, so, whoops! But it's fine. We'll just have to make a flashback comic later where the kids find it.

So, from now on, everything that happens in the comic happens here, in Year 2.

If you've read this far, I'd like to thank you for humoring my nonsensical fanfiction ramblings for my silly mspaint webcomic. I hope you had fun and got as much out of that as I did. I'm really happy I was finally able to put it all together in one coherent place.

[wetcatspellcaster]

Just stopping by to say I’ve been reading fanfic for many many years. I recently got into BG3 and started reading fics about that and when I went on a trip with friends and wouldn’t have good internet I downloaded the fics you have to read. Let me just say every fic you’ve written is a literal work of art. I binged pieces on that drive and that is genuinely one of the most well written fan fictions I have read. I just needed to thank you for putting so much care into your characters. You write stories that are truly a privilege to read and I thank you for that. It’s been a long, long time since I’ve felt attached to stories like this and even longer since I waited for updates instead of looking for finished ones. It really re sparked my love for good stories.

hey anon, thank you so much for being so nice and taking the time to send this to me! :D

the bg3 fandom is very strange to me rn, because I am also used to people waiting until something is complete before binging it, and so there's some delayed gratification kudos along the way! it's so lovely to have such an active and involved audience this time round, even though that makes me feel bad occasionally when I can see the destination and they haven't got there just yet :)

I'm really flattered that you like my work and enjoy my characterisation, Rosalie is very much a comfort character to me and my exercise in making lawful good as flawed/'interesting' as morally grey, so anyone who enjoys that or finds it multifaceted is a very welcome friend in my books!

I hope that whatever spark you've uncovered continues to be fed by my works and others :) xxxx

[writingquestionsanswered]

How long is a normal length of time to work on an outline? (Sorry this kinda turned into a ramble) I decided to actually sit down and outline a novel I started in 2018 but dropped, mainly because I had no idea where I was going with it. During the pandemic, I discovered the wonder of actually outlining and sticking to a schedule-ish, and I managed to write a couple of short novels. Now, to myself, I call these "practice novels". They're not that good, but I needed something to practice with so I took really old stories I had discarded and just wrote them down, I had the time and needed something to write. Now, I wrote a short novel in January-March last year that came out really good, maybe the best I've written so far, and in November I started a sequel and finished it a little over a month ago. It also came out really nice. Now, it's normal for me to start thinking of my next project when I'm about to wrap up the one I'm currently working on, and this time I decided I was going to work on this 2018 project. It's also normal for me to take some time off to cool down when I just finished something, reread and revise, and basically get some rest before I get in the mood to write again. Now, a friend of mine has been asking repeatedly why haven't I written in so long and if something had happened. She even recommended me some books to get me inspired again. And honestly? I don't really feel in the mood to write yet, and I feel like my outline is still incomplete. I'm doing research and taking my time to properly develop the characters and the story. I already had a go with this one once and dropped it. This time I want to do it right, I don't want to rush it, I really like the story and the characters and want to make the best I can out of it. I kinda feel pressured by this friend but I also feel like I should just follow my gut and prepare the way I feel best.

Spending a While in the Pre-Write Phase

Every writer is different, and every project is different, so there's no right or wrong amount of time to spend outlining your story or in the pre-write phase in general. The only potential definition of "too long" there is would be spending so long outlining/in pre-write that you never actually write the story.

"Percolating" and Practice Matter

If you're not quite ready to work on this story because you feel the ideas need more time to percolate, that's absolutely fine. You should trust your gut on that and not friends who are pressuring you to write. But if you're not actively engaging in the pre-write phase of this story... for example, outlining, world building, developing characters, etc., it might at least be worth considering doing some writing prompts to exercise your writing brain in the meantime. Writing is a lot like bike riding in that you won't forget how to do it if you don't do it for a long time, but the required muscles lose their strength just a little bit. So things like reading, journaling, and doing writing prompts are some good ways to keep those writing muscles engaged. And you can even do writing prompts related to the story you're outlining, too. The first nine suggestions in Getting Unstuck: Motivation Beyond Mood Boards & Playlists has some story-related prompts you can try out. Getting Excited About Your Story Again has some other story-related prompts that are fun and can help you flesh out your characters and setting in surprising ways.

It's Okay to Politely Tell Writer Friends to Chill

All relationships take work, even relationships with writer friends, and those can be particularly prickly because part of being writer friends is to help motivate one another, but there can be a delicate line between motivating and nagging. Sometimes people don't realize they're crossing that line. So when you feel like a writer friend is putting pressure on you, don't be afraid to say, "Hey, I really appreciate your support and the motivation you give me, but right now I'm focusing on taking a little break to clear my head and let this old story percolate a bit before I start working on it."

I hope that helps! ♥

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[itsbenedict]

Alright, so- two months into the year, how much of my ten-item list is done?

Finish the first case of Justice/Arcana and revise the draft

Finish the SakuraPetalFantasy walkthrough portion of Datasouls (not with the whole combat toy situation, just the rest of it)

Do 24 TFJ recaps, two per month

Work through all the exercises in Genki 1 and 2, and catch up on WK reviews.

Date someone. I feel like I look decent and have a lot of desirable qualities that would make this not too hard to accomplish, but I have to put effort into looking or it’s never going to happen on its own. (I am unfortunately of the gender that doesn’t typically get asked out and has to take the initiative.) It’s gonna be tricky since I’m a weird person with weird life priorities and finding someone who’d actually be happy partnering up with that long-term is a tall order.

Actually get that standing desk walk-while-working workflow set up and establish an exercise routine that I keep to for more than half the year

Release a functional version of that Fire Emblem content authoring tool

Replace grody old kitchen sink that has weird white stuff growing out from inside the handle

Finish the games I’m still playing through from this post

Find some new source of income reliable enough to pay the bills without making me work more than 20 hours a week. (I’m a programmer, this is hypothetically doable.) Freelancing/contract work maybe?

One at a time...

I've done a few updates to Justice/Arcana, and have pretty much all the art assets I'll need done. There's a bit of a writing roadblock at the moment but I just need to take some time and work it out.

I did a handful of enemy icons for Datasouls but otherwise didn't work on it

Did four recaps, staying on course

No Japanese practice yet

No dating yet. From what I hear, there are no good dating sites anymore and it's all just swipe-right hookup apps, which are no use to me. I've written a date-me doc but I still need to have some nice pictures taken for it.

I ordered a new under-desk elliptical that you can actually stand on, and it just arrived, but I haven't set it up yet. I've been exercising regularly, though!

Made a bunch of progress on Medallion Works, such that the map editor is now bare-minimum functional.

No sink amelioration yet

Played most of those games- still need to get through The Sekimeiya, though. That one is long and dense.

Contract work for the company I quit has been manageable, but isn't quite paying the bills on its own- I made $3600 in February, which- setting aside probably half of that for taxes and other bullshit expenses- covers mortgage payments and utilities but not food and other purchases. And I'll be doing less and less work for them over time, as they get their environment stood up and running smoothly. That's still going to have to be replaced by real employment of some sort sometime this year, but not a concern just yet.

Overall, January and February were a bit more scattershot than I'd like- January was a whole lot of travel and finishing up stuff at work, and February still had a bit of work getting in the way. Plus I didn't really focus on any one thing, so nothing's fully checked off yet.

March... I think I need to focus on getting J/A's first case done, since it's in the home stretch. That and a couple recaps, and probably dealing with the sink situation if I can.

[jolapeno]

What is your favorite part about writing fic? What do you like about each character? Frankie, Javi P. Marcus and Joel?

Congratulations on 7k! I passed 100 and got excited.

omg congrats on 100!!!! do you want to share a cake? i think we should (also if you haven't pls actually treat yourself to cake!! when we hit milestones or do things we're proud of, we should all celebrate with cake).

btw, i love this question so much, and I'm so sorry for how long this could possibly go:

fic in general: i like that i have a place to exercise. for me, writing keeps me very much balanced and healthy and happy. i didn't always do it, i didn't study it, and i deffo don't know if i love it every single day, but i found it helped. i find it easier to share how i feel in written form than speaking, which is how i began writing some years back. fanfic was something i fell into, and then never wanted to leave. i bounced around fandoms, i had fun, i made friends and i built a community. and I'm glad, even if I'm not in a few of them anymore, i was in them for the length of time i was. I've got friends I've known coming up to eight years because of fanfic. but, i also love writing because i like to tell stories, i want to make someone's day a bit better, even if the story isn't happy? you know. i just want to say i made a difference, and I'm not sure how else to do that outside of writing?

joel: when i write, i choose HBO joel because i spent a lot of time with game joel and we have a diff relationship. but i love the complexity of a person who doesn't outwardly show his feelings because of the nature of grief, and survival. i like picking that a part? i like also trying to find new ways to get under a characters skin, and in his environment, that is both fun, difficult and challenging (in all the best ways). a lot of the time, i use sex. but sometimes it's a convo that is only happening in a stare, and i think that's pretty powerful.

javi: he was the first pedro show i watched because i had been recommended it, and was dead excited for tlou and he appeared on my tiktok. in each season, i feel he's different. and that's so much fun for me. i love character-driven stories (as you probably know) and there's a lot of substance to play with when it comes to him. he's still quite soft, but he has an exterior you have to manage and look past and i kinda love that? i also love that strong people don't intimidate him, so i get to give him fiesty and sassy and it's okay. also, on a level, at times i relate to him - how much he carries, and sometimes it's nice to unburden that in a character.

frankie: god. i remember watching TF the first time and just being like in awe of him as soon as he lost his cool. because i loved how complex he was. we immediately think he's one thing but he's something other. but i mainly began writing him to see if i could? and then i fell in love with him. hard. like i love his angry side, his moody side, his soft and sarcastic side. but also i love that he's surrounded by good people. he's got good relationships, a foundation, and there's this event that happens that allows us all to take a different approach to him?

i'm so sorry, i rambled a lot there, but i hope this is what you wanted and I'm so sorry if you're like "shut up, jo"

jo's 7k celebration sleepover

[angsty-prompt-hole]

Hello! This is your friendly inquiry to answer this ask with whatever you'd like to talk about right now! Whether that be a story you're working on, something you're excited or worried about, or just something random you happen to know.

All the love,

~ toribookworm ❤️

Aw, thank you.

I have a lot going on inside my head right now, but that's pretty normal for me lol. I'm considering a massive career shift as well, so it's even more chaotic than usual. My current job just isn't clicking with me and I really want to move to a different state, so it's been a lot of applying and stuff lately.

I'm pretty excited about a lot of my creative things though. I'm hopefully going to be starting a new part of my Winter Hollow project soon, which means I get to brainrot about my favorite OC ever while also learning some filmmaking stuff that I've been dying to learn. Speaking of which, I'm going to take this as an opportunity to share something really cool one of my players made, which also serves as a pretty good starting point for the project as a whole: https://youtu.be/zCd7_Fxiq18

I haven't watched it because I got interviewed for it and I can't stand the sound of my own voice, but Theo is a lovely person and I appreciate them a lot (i would tag them but they dont know this blog exists and i tend to spoil some things for Winter Hollow on here). They make some really good content. Winter Hollow is also my baby, so it was super gratifying to have someone make something like this for it.

I'm also honestly feeling pretty pumped about my fanfiction stuff. I've written more since I started writing Scream fanfiction than I have in a very long time, and it's kind of nice just doing something a little silly and self indulgent. I tend to be overly serious and particular about things, so it's a great exercise just letting myself relax and write whatever. I can't wait to finish up this first fic I have going right now, cause then I can start on the one that is basically just me getting to write an entire Scream movie lol.

I'm also SUPER excited for next week, because Evil Dead Rise hits theaters, and the Evil Dead franchise is one of my biggest creative influences, and it's going to mean the world to me to get to see a new addition to the franchise in theaters.

[and-stir-the-stars]

Hello, enjoyer of Kats-rambles here. Even though he hasn't been the main focus of them, I've been enjoying your Henry thoughts lately. I have a pretty similar interpretation: that although Henry is a nice person, he's not strictly speaking the best adult figure in the Afton kids' lives and has (or had) a huge blind spot when it comes to William. This really contrasts with your human Freddy Fazbear who's not only a wonderful father to Gregory, but a pillar of support for Evan during his recovery. What really struck me was how he was still able to have compassion for Evan's siblings while still holding them accountable for what they did to him. I really love the way they kind of parallel one another and was wondering if you set them up that way on purpose? ~Dire Kumori

It feels kinda weird to hear anyone imply that they like my thoughts on fnaf characterizations considering all my characterizations are largely just amalgamations from me choosing the most interesting parts of *other* people's interpretations, lmao (then again, that does rather feel like the point of this fandom, considering that so little is strictly canon). But thank you, haha. The idea of Henry being loyal to a fault and diving head-first into denial when his loyalty gets him nowhere is an interesting one to me, though I don't have any knowledge from the books or anything to back that take up with.

Unfortunately I can't say that I wrote Henry and Freddy to parallel each other. I haven't even been thinking about Henry's place in the au very much, if I'm being honest. I wrote a while back that Mike and Liz would end up being adopted by him, but I've been second-guessing that decision more and more every time I think about whether games-canon Henry was actually a good person. If Liz and Mike still get adopted by Henry in the au (which they probably will, since I can't think of any other character in the games who could fill that role, though I've considered having them get adopted by Freddy, too, on a couple occasions), then Henry is going to have to take some big steps to make up for abandoning them and ignoring all the red flags about the abuse and neglect they faced at home.

I haven't decided yet whether Henry suspects William's responsibility for his daughter's death. Either way, when I imagine what Henry has been up to off-screen at this point in the au I think of him cutting people off, obsessively drifting between Freddy's locations trying to shower the kids there with excessive love and kindness to make up for his guilt over Charlie's death, and somehow being blind to the three kids who need that love and kindness the most.

Freddy, meanwhile, is a good person who IS able to see through William's family-man act but, unlike Henry, for one reason or another can't do anything about the abuse Evan is facing at home other than give Evan a safe place to stay for as long as he needs. I honestly can't say I noticed that parallel, much less set it up. I haven't put much thought into "setting Freddy up" to be anything, actually. I've only really been writing him based on his characterization and how I *think* Glamrock Freddy as we see him in SB would respond to the situations I put him in.

Like, I didn't have much of an idea what Freddy would say to Michael when Mike had his panic attack in MBMW chapter 1; going in, the only thing written in my outline was that I knew that there was no way Glam Freddy would be okay with a kid having a panic attack in front of him, no matter what he had heard about them or how much he disliked them/what they had done. I didn't know what Freddy would say to calm Michael down beyond just giving Mike breathing exercises as I started writing that scene, only that he'd try comforting Mike while still being pissed at him for putting Evan and his son (and daughter, as I would later write Vanessa into the story) in this situation in the first place. As cliche as it is for an author to say this, Freddy is the one who took control of the situation with Michael, not me, because I couldn't figure out what Freddy would say until as I was actively writing the scene.

And the scene just after that where the two are sitting in the car and Freddy assures Gregory that he's not mad at Gregory for hurting Mike but is rather proud of his son for protecting his friend wasn't in my notes AT ALL. The panic-attack scene was supposed to have ended with the line "Gregory didn’t give Michael the dignity of a response. He just tugged on his dad’s hand and marched straight out of there without looking back" before immediately cutting to the 'four months after the Bite' time skip, but as I wrote that line, I suddenly found myself wondering what Freddy's response to Gregory's outburst would be considering I ended up writing Freddy as trying really hard to keep his composure around Mike, and... well, again, the characters took the reigns in that scene between Freddy and Gregory.

Honestly, someone left a comment on ch1 of MBMW commenting on the contrast readers got to see between William's horrible parenting and Freddy being a good, attentive father figure, and I was blown away at the very idea because they were SO RIGHT, and I friggin wrote the story myself and somehow never even saw or noticed it. Maybe I was trying to write Freddy as a good parent, but my real goal was just to write Freddy as *himself*.

Basically, this is my long-winded way of saying that as much as I like to think of myself as an experienced writer, my process is little more than asking myself "how would a character respond if I put them into a situation?" and I don't pay much mind to parallels or foils like I do when *consuming* media. You guys as readers are really the ones who force me to view my material in a fresh light, and with comments and questions like this and the one listed above, YOU guys are actually the ones bringing my stories new intensity and life. That's why I like getting new comments so much; sometimes you get one that makes you think of a character or line in a new light.

[poetryofyouth]

mmhhh that last post made me think about Things™ again no no bad brain stop it also i didn't know there is a 30 tag limit per post hah

i am currently in a bit of a weird place regarding the whole SH thing because i don't think mentally i am all that unwell... the regular amount of unwell mostly, only occasionally suicidal and rarely all that serious about it. Though fascinatingly enough while in the past it was a bit more gradual - either low or ok or even genuinely good for long stretches of time - nowadays the thing that confuses me is that i will have a ok day and then still have a very bad night. or vice versa. it is a bit unforseeable when it will be bad and i honestly usually don't even see a reason.

anyways so the point is i am not unhappy... not significantly unhappy at least. But still in the last few months the topic of self harm has been more present for me than in the last two years, and i can't really tell why because i don't FEEL worse overall. And yet i have been slicing up my legs like back in the Bad Days.

I think a part is that I honestly don't really have any consequences now. I mean you learn with time. Put down a towel so you don't make a huge mess. Period Pads absorb a lot of blood. I can probably take apart any drug store razor in a matter of minutes. It's a skill babes and i have 11 years of practice

But I live alone now, no one i have to hide from. No one to notice if i were to get a little blood on the bedsheets after all. I haven't worn shorts in public in years so i don't even have to feel like i have to sacrifice wearing shorts now that i have fresh scars again. My legs habe never been scar-free in 11 years, so at this point it isn't really like i feel any need to preserve nice clean skin, there barely is any unscarred skin on my body, or well at least not where I would consider cutting. It's not like these kinds of scars will ever be really gone, so why try to not add new ones? what exactly is the downside even to not do that?

In truth I have never truly understood why some people (inpatient nurses) are so godddamn bothered. I mean, drinking yourself into oblivion every weekend is probably wayyy more dangerous and unhealthy and people do that openly. The fact that i eat wayy too much sugar and never exercise is way more detrimental to my body i am sure. But occasionally insuring myseld would shock people so much more. I am sometimes tempted to "accidentally" let my pants ride up at work so people would see my legs.... i wonder what their reaction would be. I think it would be disgust. My scars are not dainty scrathes i think most people wouls find them pretty shocking..

This might be the most crazy thing i have written here but, sometimes i get something out of it - feeling fresh cuts tingle under my pants while i am at work, acting normal. It is a certain kind of thrill, knowing i couls start bleeding without noticing and having people figure out that something is up. A lot less fun when i actually bleed in public hah but that hasn't happened in a long time, i am fairly good at avoiding accidents like that nowadays. practice makes perfect. But being in pain, having to not let anyone notice, continueing a friendly conversation, doing my job like nothing is wrong - that adds a bit of spice to the whole act of it.

It is annoying however because occasionally there will be times when i cant hide.. i have a gynecology appointment in September and there is no way my current scars will in any way be hideable during that. But i guess i'll cross that bridge when i get to it

And - that was in winter, way before my current return to the habit, something i still think about is when I dated someone for a while, and eventually I was undresses at a certain point. she didn't say anything back then, but later she texted me, asking about the scars. And honestly that was so very upsetting to me, her nonchalantly confronting me via text message about that, i lost all attraction for her. it sounds weird probably. i mean it was good before that, but at that . moment i knew it had to end because i just couldn't deal with that. i was not prepared for conversations like that. That probably makes me a bit of an asshole but i ended it shortly after that, i just couldn't see her anymore without thinking aboht that... it is silly of course, i mean people reacting to that is a consequence of my actions that i should have known would happen

but honestly, back then, it wasn't even on my mind. I hadn't done anything in a long time.. i didn't even think about my scars because at that point most were faded to white and not all that visible, i at that point had the least-visibly scarred body i had had in years.

I have started thinking that that probably is a reason for now... i mean, if even then my scars that i dont even notice anymore, are so shocking and worrysome to someone else - then there basically isn't a future where my scars won't be shocking - even if i never did anything again, so many parts of my body will never not be scarred. That kind of tissue damage only fades but will always be there, your fingers will always be able to feel them.

So why even bother. I won't have a body that isn't shocking in some way, why try to not do it again. I think some of the new scars are acts of pettiness to her... if she would ever know that i am sure she would feel horrible. She is a good person.... I am glad we don't talk anymore. I hope she is alright , I hope she finds someone who won't drag her down like I inevitably would. Maybe I choose to do this again so that i would never even consider getting close to someone like that again.... maybe. Maybe it is just a well-known and reliable comfort. Maybe it is my secret act of rebellion, maybe i like to prove to myself that i can endure pain. maybe i just like seeing blood. yeah it's all of these things