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#i hope everything turns out ok
motheyes · 1 year
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also i’m so sweaty i’m literally sitting outside
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love-everlasting · 1 year
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Me when
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chumii1 · 6 months
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i really dont want to finish this ehhh
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ministarfruit · 6 months
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straya outfit swap
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myokk · 8 days
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my favorite bookworm
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gl1tchrix · 2 months
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“Everything will be alright” I sing to myself over and over again, wondering if I believe it or if I’m still trying to convince myself.
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silusvesuius · 3 months
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this tree from my new drawing looking goated afffffff 👑👑
#yes this is a nel/vas drawing get off me😂#text#i wanted everyone to see it but also since i draw on paper in total silence i think a lot about everything so i wanted to voice some -#- thoughts too's. tbh i've been veeery self indulgent lately#actually i'm happy that n*lv*s is getting actual hits out of me that i like looking at#especially on-paper stuff that i can recall being fun for me to draw. all traditional art is fun to draw#and digital has turned into an actual task for me (only sometimes tho maybe i;m lying.. mspaint we're still bffs)#i think i just don't see the joy in trying to scrap up a ''' finished ''' piece in an art program .. pencil i love you and i love the -#- feeling of it scratching along the paper....sigh............ Rabu#i don't want my blog or thoughts to turn into traditional art suck-off ventures bc ik not everyone can get into it for many possible -#- reasons but if u feel like it U can ok? do it for Pencil✏️ and for me? for silusvesuius? 𝖎 𝖜𝖎𝖑𝖑 𝖕𝖗𝖔𝖙𝖊𝖈𝖙 𝖞𝖔𝖚#but Lord i hope i don't also come off as one of those people that r like 'to improve in art just draw that one fictional character u -#- rly like 😂😂' bruh gtfo my face with that.#i'm noticing 'improvement' in my stuff mainly...i think... because i'm always striving to impress#not so much other people that are here just for my art but more so myself#i have a very huge ego (Mind Battle)#also it makes me sad to think about how big egos or genuine (not obnoxious) flauntiness are looked down on#and i can tell bc i used to look down on people that would express the things i'm expressing now#especially in art focused spaces. now i'd rather be in a circle of artists that love to J*rk off their own brain for it's ideas -#-and talent than be w/ very self-conscious artists that are never expressing pride about any of their work#worse if it's to the point where they actively start to fish for compliments bc of it#fishing for compliments is always OK i just wish it didn't stem from insecurity in that context if that makes sense#but maybe that's very easy for me to say and admit bc i did develop a very big ego around my art and ... Creativity? like it's a sims skill#not that i still don't seek out 'attention' or compliments from others to soothe myself but hmmmmmm i hope u feel me.#it just turns me into a very competitive person#who am i competing with? Myself#i'm always in 'you can do better Because you're YOU' mode#which is much better i believe than comparing yourself 2 other artists#i don't think a lot of people read my tag ramblings but if u do i wonder how one feels about a very pompous artist#like me .......(?)
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reaper-in-reverie · 2 months
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—seaside.
Rin really was looking forward to it, you know?
Their dream. Soccer. No, Rin couldn't care less about soccer — what he cared about was brother, and being the best next to him. Next to him. By his side. He didn't care about being some best, he cared about his brother.
Fuck that. Seriously fuck that.
OR
synopsis. Rin after Sae came home from Spain, buying his old favorite ice cream, stuck in his thoughts. warnings. swearing, a fair amount of it. angst (i guess?). character study (in-character writing), which essentially is me yapping. tw long tags because those are my footnotes. I know blue lock fans only really care for thirsts and stuff so here's rin angst ig. wc 985.
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Footsteps gently thudded on the hard dirt, the sea buzzing in the distance, the occasional splash of the waves against rock, the sun beginning to set.
Rin couldn't bear to stay in his house.
(Correction: holed up in his room.) He couldn't bear the thought of staying around his brother at all. He'd grown accustomed to Sae's absence in the four years he was away — but knowing he was back, near him, in his own home just filled him with a seething rage. He left his room with scattered trophies. Maybe in the heat of the moment he broke a photo.
He just couldn't be there right now.
Rin looked down at his hands. He had twin popsicles in them. He continued to walk until he reached the railing overlooking the sea. He promptly broke them in half. He couldn't stop thinking over the fact that Sae was usually the one to — supposed to be the one to — break them in half. He stared at them with a tired expression.
He couldn't stand being here either. He couldn't stand being anywhere right now.
Rin held the one popsicle in his other hand and stuck the other in his mouth, expression blank except for the twitch of his eyebrows. No, he came out here to not think of his stupid fucking brother right now — he came out here to breathe. He came out here to get out of his room. He came out here to eat popsicles. And watch the sunset.
Rin really was looking forward to it, you know?
Their dream. Soccer. No, Rin couldn't care less about soccer — what he cared about was brother, and being the best next to him. Next to him. By his side. He didn't care about being some best, he cared about his brother.
Fuck that. Seriously fuck that.
Rin had to come to terms Sae Itoshi had lied to him. Thinking back, Sae always did talk about being the best in the world — did they even share a dream in the first place? Did Sae truly just use him as a training partner? And now — now that he was the best, was Rin simply not enough?
Rin didn't want to play soccer any more.
His grip tightened slightly on the other popsicle. Some of it melted, dripping down his hand — that'd make some mess — but Rin didn't bother to clean it up. He'd nearly finished the one he was eating, opting to take it out of his mouth and see if he had won or not. In big, bold letters, were the words 'YOU WIN' on the popsicle stick.
He always did win.
Which meant the other popsicle was the losing one. Rin still took the half-melted ice cream into his mouth, switching it out with the one he already finished eating. He had a solemn expression on his face as he pondered throwing the stick into the ocean. He just kept it in his hand and stared into the horizon.
No, it couldn't be. Why did Sae change so suddenly? Whatever he and his brother went through — all his praises and all the goals they made, the money they spent on twin popsicles, the amount of 'winner' sticks in the bottom of the ocean, sitting together, walking together, him holding onto Sae's sleeve like a stupid annoying kid, their talk just before Sae went to Spain and changed forever — they all had to have meant something. It had to have meant something.
Or maybe Sae was the weak one here. He gave up, after all, didn't he? — he changed his dream. He left Rin behind. He was just pathetic. He just wasn't the same.
Sae never really was the same when he came back.
It was like looking at someone who looked like your brother. But he wasn't. This wasn't his brother, this wasn't the boy who made his dreams, this wasn't his reason to play soccer — this was Sae Itoshi, the man who turned his life upside down, the man who crushed him, the man who shoved the cold, hard truth into his face and took away all the child-like love and respect he ever had to the only human he'd ever considered family.
Rin would never forgive him.
Why the hell did he change so suddenly?
Rin would never forgive him.
No, in fact — Rin would crush him. He wanted to crush him until he was nothing more next to him. Crush him and his cruel dream to be the best midfielder.
He'd prove he was more than some training partner. Sae wanted to be the best midfielder in the world? So that Rin could be the best striker in the world? Fucking go right ahead.
He hated he wanted to prove his brother right.
He hated him.
Rin wanted to play soccer again.
He gritted his teeth, accidentally biting on the popsicle stick too hard — the sudden spike of pain making him take it out of his mouth. He took a deep breath, scanning over the large 'YOU LOSE' in bold letters written on the popsicle stick. He held both the losing and winning sticks in one hand, turning from the railing with a deep breath. And he began to walk back home.
Rin won back his dreams again today.
Some part of him didn't have Sae Itoshi as a brother anymore. Just an adversary. Just some obstacle.
He stared at the popsicle sticks again — 'YOU WIN', and 'YOU LOSE'. He stared at them as he walked along the side of the road. Rin found himself dwelling over the losing words. Trying to feel what his brother might've felt back then. It was one of the rare time he actually got the losing popsicle. And at the same time he didn't really lose — the winning one was just in his hand as well. But he didn't truly win either.
Rin had a feeling he could only truly win or lose if he had someone to win or lose to.
But he didn't. Not anymore.
... And Rin wasn't a sentimental person at all. But for now, he decided to keep the popsicle sticks, safely tucked into his pocket, like the ghost of the past.
For old time's sake, if you will.
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© reapkusho on tumblr. 2024. all rights reserved. refrain from translating, copying, or stealing in any way, etc.
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the-busy-ghost · 3 days
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Me normally: Let people love what they love
Me, after a Test Match Special commentator expresses their belief that the new All Creatures Great and Small is somehow "better" than the 1978 version: This is pure insanity and TMS can no longer be trusted on anything, how can they even be trusted to know about cricket, do they have no TASTE
#Look it's fine that this show exists and people will watch it and like it and that's ok maybe it's just not for me#But that was like a statement purely designed to piss me off#There were lots of issues with the 1978 adaptation! I still vastly preferred the books any day!#And I actually initially had high hopes for the new one because they at least cast a Scot (albeit a Highlander not a Clydesider) as James#And the actors at least looked a little bit younger than Christopher Timothy and Robert Hardy#And thank god Helen actually sounds like she's a farmer's daughter and doesn't speak RP!#But from the half hour I've seen of it I've had to write off this new adaptation#For two major reasons#First of all there's Siegfried#Siegfried is one of the key central aspects of the vibe of the books and therefore key to any adaptation#Robert Hardy was too short and too old for the part but he lived and breathed the character#The twinkle in the eye bouncing off the walls and in and out of rooms followed by half a dozen dogs utterly full of life even when angry#But this new Siegfried is just sort of... Eeyore-esque; he comes into a room and you can see the flowers droop and the set turn grey#Siegfried was angry Siegfried was happy and the historical character he was based on was no stranger to melancholy#Since Donald Sinclair did commit suicide or rather self-euthanasia after Alf Wight and his own wife Audrey died#But this slow grumbly figure in the new adaptation is not Siegfried Farnon- the book character didn't grumble more often he exploded#And why did the adaptation give him a dead wife that's so weird? What could that possibly add to the source material?#And this brings me onto my second problem which is to do with women and age#Firstly I have no idea why they aged down Mrs Hall or at least made her look younger than a woman her age would have back then#But what really drove me mad was when Heriot goes out to see some old woman hill farmer in the episode I saw#And this woman is far too clean and young-looking and you can see that she's wearing 'natural' look make-up#And a perfect set of clothes that looked like they were straight out of the House of Bruar autumn collection catalogue#Say what you like about the 1978 adaptation but old women looked like old women regardless of whether or not they wore make-up#It may be that the better quality of television screens means that the 'natural look' shows up on screen more clearly than it would have#But natural look make-up was not really a thing in the 1930s and for old women Yorkshire hill farmers I doubt they'd have much on at all#They just don't seem to be capable of allowing people to look old and wrinkled and real or have bad teeth or unattractive clothes#And everything is far too tidy- everybody looks far too perfectly country and quaint#Anyway the moral of this story is of course that I always recommend reading the books because they're much better#than any tv adaptation; but if forced to choose at least the 1970s one felt real and yet didn't have to be grim either#Ok that's my rant over please do feel free to enjoy the show I just got annoyed because the opinion was expressed on TMS
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deus-ex-mona · 2 months
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i miss renrennnnnnnnnn
#woke up this morning and thought of him so now y’all have to think of him too#and so. once again. i try to bypass the preview website paywall for the renren chapter… (i’m not successful)#i want to see more of him (it’s a need at this point) i’ll settle for it if he shows up on the cover for vol 2 (im begging)#though i also wouldn’t mind if sahara ‘concon’ yuna shows up on vol 2 instead!!!! women’s wrongs yay#i’d l o s e it if he turns out to be another sicks and. like. dates nagisa while chizuhiyo becomes a thing#(all while concon and juri become bffs in the bg and bond over styling tips or sth)#i hope he gets a focus song some time soon (pls) i need him to inject some sanity into the chizuutan manga#though for some reason i think he looks like he’d be voiced by ono.ken…#he just has that vibe to him idk w h y#but. man. i want to see where he is and what he does during the events of the 2nd half of the [redacted] anime#i think it’d be super funny if renren and concon had to smack some sense into chizuutan behind the scenes to get her to make up with hiyo#yes it’d retcon. like. chizumama’s permission of hiyo’s unlawful entry but the [redacted] anime retcons everything anyway so why not#if the [redacted] anime can retcon yuko’s relocation to france the chizuutan manga can totally retcon a buncha other stuff r i g h t —#ok yup yeah enough renren thoughts for today; there’s not enough non region-locked info about him yet after all—#s o b s why is the chizuutan manga so hard to access worldwide why must you gatekeep renren from usssssss
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faaun · 1 month
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ok let's catch up quickly
#so i went on a few dates w this guy. long hair beautiful face kinda looked like a girl (good) said yes ma'am when i told him to do smth#(also good) film student great at photography including candids. made a sheath of leather for a sword pin i have . et cetera.#he asked to cuddle and i was like iggg and then i felt Nothing and i was like ohhh yh ok ok yep lesbian#like he meets almost all my criteria but. yeahhh no . also at the end of that date he had some weird takes. anyway broke up w him and told#him actually im p sure im a lesbian (again) and he was like yk thats the second time this has happened to me this week but its ok bc ive#fallen for this girl from berlin. and then we cooked together. anyway . met a beautiful butch lowk in love w her. weve been on (1) date.#have two exams in a few days havent studied enough going to like end it all basically. my research partner kicked me off our research#(expected(it was always skinda sketchy)) which was devastating + it happened in a lidl 15 hours into a journey from bordeaux#to go back to the UK. my friends were kinda busy paying for baguettes but also they heard this whole exchange and are kinda mad at him#my friend of 10+ years is coming over in a few days. my evil ex situationship person that i decided to stay friends w because i kept#insisting they are a good friend and not evil and also extremely beautiful? turns out shockingly enough they were evil. tried to fix them#and then i realised due to their entire friendship group being ppl like me (Every Single One of their friends are ppl they met on dating#apps then led on then dumped and proposed staying friends w) and are collectively extremely attracted to them and not over them they#keep validating the most diabolical shit they say/do to hace a chance w them. they broke up w their ex and the way they keep leading#this poor girl on and making her heartbeeak worse and saying that they want more power over her and want her to beg for them back etc...MY#JAW HAD DROPPED esp bc i didnt even know the ex was in the picture BECAUSE ME AND ONE OF OUR FRIENDS (that they also dated) HAD JUSR SLEPT#NAKED TOGETHER IN THEIR BED W THEM. GIRL. anyway that is the least of the diabolical stuff they said but no we are moving onnn#this was b4 the beautiful butch btw. anyways . i have a mitski concert tmrw i think?? idek anymore#i used to have a crush on this guy very briefly and then it disappeared and then i realised if he fundementally changed everything abt#himself then maybe id like him but ofc i didnt tell him that but i still think abt it sometimes but anyway thats irrelevant now bc 99% sure#even if he did id still not find him attractive (lesbianism). please recommend good overnight moisturisers btw i have super dry skin#right. the friend of 10 yrs. we had a hard convo abt why she essentially bullied me in year 8 and it made me highly bitter but i also love#her and ik things are diff now its been like . Many Years . and shes going to stay a while I HAVE TWO EXAMS I DONT HAVE TIME but i love her#its fine. i think i might just switch into medicine and do the whole become a neurosurgeon thing (which was my plan B) bc plan A is looking#kinda impossible rn. I WANNA TALK MORE ABT WHAT THE EX SITUATIONSHIP PERSON SAID but i wont bc i dont wanna be too mean but also . MY GOD#i had a conversation w a philosopher friend about whether i have a moral responsibility to try to fix them bc unleashing this on society#feels wrong and he said 'probably but...run' so yeah im not talking to them atm. second date w beautiful butch on monday btw IDK WHAT TO#WEAR. she said she likes fems. im just gonna wear the shortest ralph lauren skirt i have w the cute leg warmers and hope 4 the best#its 1:15 AM im abt to drink coffee and start studying bc what the FUCK man. also almost finished watching the boys its very good#one of my best friends is struggling rn it is breaking my heart i want to take the burden from her i miss her very much
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plntmlk · 2 months
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Snapshots from the new Xu-Rasoya apartment: 19 Culpepper House.
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weafurry · 4 months
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ykw tumblr gets me gushing about this too. SUMMER SCHOOL CLASSES OFFICIALLY DONE!!
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Im so fucking happy man . this is genuinely the first time since MIDDLE SCHOOL that I've gotten through an entire school year without failing a single class. if all goes according to plan i start school back up in august and graduate in december of 2024 :)
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tennessoui · 1 year
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ko-fi fic uploads
hey guys, I'm going to start putting some of my new tumblr prompt fills and writing warm-ups (ficlets of 4k-6k length) up on my ko-fi!!
Monthly supporters will be able to go into the gallery tab on my ko-fi and click on an uploaded image. The title will be which tumblr-based au the ficlet fits into and how many words it is. The description beneath the image will be a quick summary of the au and a link to the google doc containing the ficlet. The "root" au post, aka the post that started the au on my blog, will be linked as well on that google doc.
This will not affect my wips and progress on them in any way! I feel like that's very important to state - I write these sorts of ficlets all the time because it helps get me in the writing mindset for writing ao3 fics. I will just be spending a little extra effort on them to put them up on ko-fi.
I will NOT be posting any ficlets on my ko-fi that you need to read to understand a fic on ao3 - that's some disney monster conglomerate kind of shit. I will also still be posting shorter ficlets (1k-3k) on tumblr as I write them, especially if I'm answering a prompt someone sent me here. Again, I think it'd be a bit of dick move to not do that
I'll try to vary which ficlets go up on ko-fi and every time I upload one, I'll make a post about which au it is as well as a link to the page in case anyone wants to, idk, unsubscribe for a month because they hate the hopeless in coruscant au, and then refollow next month because they enjoy the playmaker au etc etc
I'm definitely still trying to figure out what I want this to look like and what feels fair or reasonable, so hopefully this isn't a huge mess on my end!
All this being said:
I've posted the first ficlet/fic on ko-fi: it's for the Senator Menace AU, an au that's basically "What if phantom menace but reversed? how fucked up would anakin get over the youngling his father master died to protect?"
the first au post is here // my ko-fi is here
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anon-unofficial · 1 year
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hey so. um. i was told that lmk didn't have any pain. and. haha. haha. haHa...what the f
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calamitydaze · 6 months
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long tag ramble below u have been warned
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#ok i feel like i should say Something before i start being active again#but i dont want it to be a Statement which is why i’m putting it in the tags#(also bc i procrastinated doing this for weeks so i know this is a very stale topic by now#but i also haven’t been on tumblr literally at all so this is 100% my organic authentic opinion lmao)#so read if you gaf and ignore if you don’t#anyway: george def could’ve done more to ensure she was comfortable#and as someone who has also gotten in over my head with older men and regretted it#her hurt is valid and i’m deeply sorry she feels the way she does about that night#but with that said i see no reason to believe george Should have known how she really felt#or that he deliberately took advantage of either her youth/inexperience or her discomfort#and that’s the most important thing for me— he fucked up and misread a situation but that doesn’t make him an evil person#and i hope they can both move on and grow and heal#as for my future in the fandom: i honestly dunno how active i’ll be going forward#i was already becoming pretty disconnected so this might’ve just sped up the process? i’m tired of being put through the wringer#but i also don’t really have a fandom to replace this so i might just continue casually participating in the way i have been#either way rest assured i will never become a rabid anti. that shits embarrassing#i got HORRIBLE drolo rsd the other day when tommy’s mom needed clout and vagued him so like if nothing else. droloisms are forever#also as a last thing— this feels kinda silly and self centered to say but i will anyway#sorry for not opening up my blog as a forum for discussion again the way i did with the drituation#i know i helped a lot of people sort out their feelings and that was (and is) really really important to me#but it also tanked my mental health (mostly as a result of the fallout and not the act itself but still)#plus my life irl was pretty stressful at the time when everything was first going down#so i just didn’t feel up to putting myself through that again#but i’m sorry if anyone wanted to discuss w me but wasn’t able to#anyway. i think that’s all i have to say!#i don’t want to turn this into a capital D discussion but as always my askbox and dms are open#love you all tons! i hope you’re having a good day 🫂🫶#bella talks
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