#i hope it doesn't happen on tumblr quite as badly

[jdiknight]

i am presenting to you, husband and wife. she's just a girl, he's a member of the dark council... he dialed up the wrong number and she kept declining the unknown call and when she did pick up to tell him to kriff off... he spent about a minute just yelling at her for being incompetent etc. and..... oh. oops.

he made it up to her by taking her out for dinner... 😤

[tartigglez]

Hello tumblr user that I don’t know

May i please suggest Zhongli and the orange heart emoji? xoxoxoxoxox

~tulip anon (i cant get to my emojisss)

"ten-twenty"

tartigglez 100 follower event!

・❥・hello dear tumblr user who i also don't know! i hope this is satisfactory

・❥・zhongli x gn!reader

・❥・0.5k

・❥・zhongli is sick (poor babie), food (soup for sick!li), zhongli doesn't understand mortal sickness, modern au, (idk why i'm warning for this but some people are grossed out by it) li blows his nose at one point

zhongli x 🧡

as an archon, sickness did not apply to zhongli. it was a problem that he never faced. so when his mortal form came down with a case of the cold, it was quite literally the most dramatic he had been with you in a very long time. 

it was actually quite funny, hearing his voice go all nasally and having such a graceful and uptight man laying on your sofa as you made soup for him. of course, he didn’t find it very funny when you giggled at him. 

“dear~ please stop laughing, i feel so… what’s the thing you say? ippy?”

you couldn’t control your laughter, “icky, zhong. icky.” of course you wouldn’t laugh at him if something was seriously wrong, but right now he was just a little under the weather, and would be walking around liyue like nothing had happened in a couple of days time. 

“i finally understand what you mean when you say that. it’s not nice” 

“i know its not nice dear, here.” you brought a bowl of the soup over to him, as well as a box of tissues. giving him a moment to sit up, you got the thermometer off the coffee table and checked his temperature again, and to your surprise it actually wasn’t too badly out of range. then you handed him the box of tissues so he could blow his nose. 

“so, what is it i do again? just, exhale into it?” gosh he was clueless, how adorable. then again, how could you blame him? it's not like archons are built the same as humans, nor do they have the same bodily functions or needs, it's just a change for him, that’s all. 

“yes, but hard, so you can get all the icky out”

“i can’t help but feel like you’re using that word wrong” 

you looked at him with mock insult, mouth wide as you placed your hand on your chest. “well excuse me, master of linguistics!”

“haha~ i jest my dear”

after eating the bowl of soup, and making yet another pathetic attempt at blowing his nose, zhongli asked you to come back into the living room, inviting you to sit beside him, which you humbly declined, much to his dismay. opting to sit on the armchair opposite him instead

“dear, why won’t you sit near me?”

“‘li, you do realise… how sickness spreads… right?”

“uhm… yes”

“tell me how”

“well, when mortals…”

“when mortals…?” you gazed at him, raising an eyebrow.

“fine, it is in fact… a gap in my knowledge. but, i did read somewhere, that a true loves kiss cures all ails”

“archons, ‘li. you do know those books are fiction right?” you giggled at him again, laughing at his cluelessness. for someone who has spent his whole existence protecting mortals, he doesn’t seem to know much about their actual workings.

“uhm… well… you should try it anyway! kiss me better!”

let's just say, the day ended with a very long winded biology lesson about the transmission of viruses....

© tartigglez, 2023. do not copy, translate or repost

[galactic-pirates]

Hey hey 😄 For the fanfic writer asks!!

10, 17, 29 and 41

Hey thank you so much for the ask!!

10) Do you work on multiple wips or stick to one fic at a time? I thought I had already answered this but must have been for a previous ask meme. I've done a few of them lately and it's such fun, thanks for playing all.

Anyway! I actively work on just one. More live in my brain obviously but ping-ponging between projects just makes progress so glacial it gets really discouraging. So one at a time :)

17) Do you have a writing routine? I guess? I turn the PC on. Boot Plottr, open NovelPad. I get my planner and write down the scene I'm working on that day. I decide what my goal is for the day. Lately it's been more time-focused rather than goal. I have a horrible habit of not focusing if I say "do X number of words" and then I sit there forever being miserable. Much better to give myself a time limit, and whatever I get done is all I get for the day. I keep hoping it will teach me to spend my time more wisely but alas there are still days I procrastinate badly.

29) What’s something about your writing that you’re proud of? Already answered here :)

41) Who’s your favorite character you’ve written? Hmm. What I enjoy the most I think is when I can hear the character, and I feel like I captured their voice. That doesn't happen a lot. It has happened with Claudia (Warehouse 13), and I had it happen quite a bit in my Librarians/Sanctuary crossover. I think it helps if the characters have phrases they often use.

But favourite character to write just generally? You know I'm tempted to say Nikola. I went through a phase where I felt like I should tag every fic I was writing with "Nikola is a good friend" because it was just coming out that way. He's a snarky bastard who talks a good game but he doesn't fool me, he can bluster all he wants but I know how much he cares for his friends.

Although I have liked writing Eve in my Librarians fics.

Bonus question because you had a repeat :)

52) What’s the average word count of your fics? 943,505 / 81 (as I have 2 fanarts on AO3) = 11,648

Given my propensity for lengthy multi-chaptered I am surprised it's that low, but then I guess there are a fair few oneshots as well, and it is an average.

I'm bummed it's close to a million but not over it. Makes me wonder if I scrape my HD for all the prompt ficlets I never posted anywhere other than tumblr, or the fanfic I never finished/posted, if I would get there. I doubt it. I've probably got 20k or so but not nearly 60k. Sad.

[biracy]

too scared to post this on my own tumblr for fear of Grievous Misinterpretation + you’re one of my smartest mutuals and i want to run it by a smart person first. for context your reblog about thought crime reminded me of this so i’m not just dumping this on you out of the blue! although this isn’t directly related.

anyway - after some observation of these communities and research into these issues, i have come to the conclusion that quite a lot of people who identify as zoophiles and/or MAPs are not actually those things, but people who just have intense and distressing intrusive thoughts. particularly the younger ones. i rarely saw any of them express anything except distress at these thoughts, but they have been pulled into those communities one way or another - someone grooming them into it, or their previous friend groups reacting badly to them confessing their intrusive thoughts and chasing them out, etc. ofc this would happen, because an upset person seeks support, it’s just horribly tragic what they can be manipulated into or accidentally become involved with while seeking that support.

obviously i have done no formal study and have no definite numbers for exactly how many people there could be in this situation. but given the level of distress i would see person after person after person express when discussing their “desires” and “urges”, i think the number must be pretty high. of course, we know intrusive thoughts can be horrific things you as a person want nothing to do with, and that thought crime isn’t real - but it makes sense, i think?

i wish people understood intrusive thoughts better, and i wish people didn’t behave the way that they do about fetishes. not to say that i don’t think it’s morally okay to be a zoo or a MAP, of course! but i feel that the negative reaction to many fetishes + the negative reaction to many intrusive thoughts = people do not seek the support they need, or if they do seek it they aren’t getting the help they need & are punished instead.

i’m rambling. i hope this makes sense. i’m sorry for putting this in your inbox but i’m friends with too many people who will kneejerk accuse me of being these things because i have dared to view them sympathetically :’/ but i genuinely wanted to hear another person’s thoughts on this.

Oh I definitely see where ur coming from yeah! I think this comes down to a variety of different issues let me kinda break down my thoughts:

I DO think a lot of people who identify online as "MAPs" or "zoos" or whatever are people with intrusive thoughts, OCD, DID, etc.. I think a lottttt of the "communities"/"support groups"/etc. formed around these things are mostly people with intrusive thoughts that they don't know to identify as intrusive thoughts. If I'm being honest, both networks seem to end up saying "just because you have these thoughts doesn't mean you'd ever act on them and they don't make you a bad person", which is good, but I do think someone having their intrusive thoughts framed as "this is just the way that you are, you were born to have these Urges" can end up being pretty detrimental in time.

I think it's important to note that I'm really strongly against the what I'll call "paraphilic model of abuse" that a lot of reaction towards "MAP communities", "zoo communities", whatever relies on. We need to understand child abuse and animal abuse through lenses of power (AND work towards deconstructing the systems of power that allow them to happen) instead of just presenting it as "these SICK PEOPLE who have BAD SEX BRAINS were just born to abuse and need to Get Help/Be Arrested/Be Killed". I'm critical towards the idea of "a paraphilia" to begin with, and really just can't ignore that the idea of "non-normative sexuality" has historically and continues to include gay and trans people (the DSM-5 still lists "transvestic disorder" among its eight "paraphilic disorders").

I think I can combine these two points to say: A model of abuse that relies on "paraphilia" as the cause, the idea that some people are just born to be abusers due to some psychiatric or even neurological "defect", and that these people are in some way "deviant from the norm", is a model that not only ignores the systems of power that allow for abuse to happen AND the social settings where these kinds of harassment and abuse are extremely normalized (i.e. therefore not "deviant"), but is one that leaves people with abusive (sexually or otherwise) intrusive thoughts to believe that there is something innately wrong with them that idk, they can either "cure" with whatever Pedophile Conversion Therapy is supposed to be or "solve" by going to prison/being killed, depending on who they're talking to. I think this is an extremely reductive and oftentimes actively harmful model of thinking about abuse, because many, many people who actually abuse children are not "pedophiles" (or "MAPs") in the "psychiatric" sense, many, many people who actually abuse animals are not "zoophiles" in the "psychiatric" sense, and many people who experience thoughts or "urges" relating to these kinds of abuse are not going to be abusers. People understandably get very upset during conversations like this, but I do think it's very important to move past the very surface-level idea that idk, "pedophile bad, pedophile sick" and actually observe what allows child abuse to happen, AND to maybe approach online communities of young people beating themselves up over their intrusive thoughts with more sympathy other than the instinctive knee-jerk "pedophile bad, pedophile sick." I totally understand why ur hesitant to post abt this dw, this is a Really hard conversation to have on here, but I hope my thoughts are clear enough and don't leave any room for "oh so you LITERALLY support the BAD THING? We should kill everyone who literally supports the bad thing" bad-faith readings

[girlcalledwhatsername]

Not a whole thought if you're willing to entertain it here, but we just wish people would be openly and loudly supportive of our endogenicity re: plurality because, like, we can keep ourselves going usually but sometimes it gets to us that even the more understanding allies will be very quiet about it. :(

Not sure if this deserves a whole explanation on our own blog, but it's not quite something we can just Not Say either, and your blog also fits? Why are people loud about everything but inlcusys stuff (if we can be incredibly crass and oversimplify for a bit in our frustration)?

Anywayssss also hello, we hope you're doing okay. :D

Hello! Hope you're doing okay as well

I understand the frustration when it seems that a discussion about something only stays within that particular community, it happens with a lot of disabilities or controversial ideas and it can feel quite alienating, I'm sorry that you're facing this too :(

Idk if you're actually looking for some kind of explanation or if you just wished to vent but if it was the latter I apologise

I think for one, DID is not often discussed in the mainstream that much. I can't speak for how it is offline in western spaces, but at least here the awareness is very very vague even with those who are in mental health advocacy circles. People started calling it DID instead of MPD only recently. I myself hadn't heard the terms like systems and endogenic/traumagenic till I saw them on Tumblr, and from what I can tell from when I looked them up back then, all the sources on it also seem to be independently published by people within these communities themselves, so the discussion hasn't quite breached the mainstream yet. Hopefully that part at least will be rectified in time.

As for within online spaces, when I came on here and heard these many terms i didn't understand I too was overwhelmed and confused by it, took some time to read enough to understand it. Honestly from the kind of understanding I had of DID, I always assumed some people are gonna be that way just because and some are gonna develop these personalities because of specific events. Much like most human differences or neurodivergence.

One thing I do want to bring up about more talked about ideas around DID and even how it's represented is how it is seen as inherently unhealthy and something to be "cured" as these differences often are. I personally believe anything that isn't causing distress, even if it's a "symptom", doesn't need to be changed in any capacity, it's a similar reaction that people often have to hallucinations that aren't necessarily distressing where just because it's different it must be unhealthy and needs to go away at any cost. And i think these notions being internalised is where a lot of this refusal to accept what I understand endogenic systems to be comes from. Because people can't handle someone being at peace with their differences, doing it the "wrong way", even if the person themself has no issue with the way DID is manifesting for them personally.

I'll confess that I keep putting off thinking about my own plurality like I used to do with my gender, and a big part of that is how I'm still quite intimidated by labels and terminology, it's not affecting me badly so I just brush it aside to be understood another day. And I've never found someone with more experience to talk it through with either.

So I genuinely believe that by and by the discourse will breach containment so to speak and get talked about more. Again, i can't speak for how it is in other regions but the terminology is probably new to a lot of people who will understand it by and by. It's gonna take time but we'll get there, and in the meantime, if you ever want to talk about this stuff my messages are always open ❤️

[singsweetmelodies]

Oh my godddd!! Kiss fic anon here.. I wasn’t trying to be mean but I’m sorry if you felt like i was😭 😭I’m always checking my bookmarked fics n I saw both of your fics there and idk it made me sent that ask.. I didn’t even reread the mesg. Tbh I’m very bad at putting whatever is on my mind into words😅

Anyways, you take all the time you need dear🤗. For me also these last few weeks were really hectic. I was trying to relax a little bit with ao3 you know 🫢 I’m really sorry if I was a bit harsh, it wasn’t intentional.. still, made me smile when I saw your reply 😁

hey anon! thank you so much for clarifying ❤️ you're all good! i did not read your initial ask in that way - although i do think it's crucial to tread very carefully with this kind of ask.

to be clear, this is not an attack on you personally, anon. not at all. but it is true that many writers (myself included) have unfortunately had bad experiences with this sort of thing, so i do want to just take a moment to explain why many of us might react badly to an ask along the lines of the first one you sent.

the thing is: writers on AO3 do this all for free, and we do it while also balancing our real lives. we do it because we love it and we love our readers, yes, but that doesn't mean it's always easy. writer's block and any number of real-life problems and reasons can come up at any time.

the problem comes in when we get an ask or a comment that doesn't seem to understand that. now, i do understand that this is often not the intention behind that comment, but it is all too easy for tumblr asks/comments asking for fic updates to seem like they're pressuring the writer.

it's like... i have written over two hundred and fifty THOUSAND words for this fandom, and i have done it completely for free, and in my own free time. now some person i don't know at all comes to me and basically DEMANDS that i do even more, on their schedule and not mine.

from a writer's perspective, it's easy to feel frustrated and/or demoralised by "when are you posting the next chapter" type comments. even if it is tempered by "i love your writing," as a writer it's easy to feel like you're not being appreciated for what you've already done. and, you know. we're humans too, not perfect writing machines who always stay exactly on schedule with everything. it's just nice to be treated like humans, y'know?

again, i understand that in many cases, none of the above is the intention of the ask/comment at all - which is why i think that phrasing is SO vitally important. instead of "when is the next chapter coming out? i miss this fic" it just feels kinder, to me at least, to say it more like "i love this fic SO MUCH... and i am so excited to see what happens next!! i will be here cheering you on for the next chapter (and rereading all the others in the meantime!!) thank you so much for sharing ❤️"

(istg just lost my entire ability to write a coherent comment when trying to do an example here 😭😭 but i hope you see what i'm trying to get at?)

speaking as a writer, one of THE best feelings in the world is to get a comment from someone who loved your story as much as you loved writing it. someone who's as excited for more as you are!! in my opinion, a good way to keep up this positive energy all around is simply to not ask the writer for a timeline. this is often impossible for us to provide - because like i said, we are HUMANS. life happens. writers can't predict it any more than you can.

just be excited with us. cheer for us and cheer WITH us. rather than demanding exact dates and putting pressure on a writer to try and create content faster when they might not be able to - just be there for the process, support us, and make us smile as much as our fics made YOU smile!!

... ah, wow, this has gotten to be quite a long reply 🙈🙈 i got on my soapbox a little bit, but this is something i feel quite passionately about, so i do hope it all makes sense! i also hope that you don't think i'm mad at you, dear anon who sent this - i'm not, not at all. i just wanted to take the opportunity to make things as clear as possible for everyone who might need to read this ❤️ thank you ever so and cheers to you if you've made it this far!! i appreciate you taking the time out of your day/night to give this a read 💙

[lapeaudelamemoire]

opening this text box sitting in my bed trying to force myself to talk about myself, something, how i feel. the fucking text is lagging. i hate that so much. i don't know why it's doing that. i don't want to write this any more. let's refresh and try again.

it's still lagging but not quite so badly now. i don't know what the fuck to do about this. this feels contrived because it is, but i don't know what else to do. i don't talk about how i feel any more. not here, not to my partner, not in a journal. when i do, it's occasional. difficult to imagine that i used to do it every day, several times a day. but that was when i had time.

it feels inane to say 'when i had time'. i have time now too, which is why i'm getting to sit here in bed on a weekday with no other obligations to write a g-ddamn tumblr post, but it doesn't - it's not the same; it doesn't feel like i have time. i mean when the days were warm and felt hopeful and i was dreaming in another country, by which i realise i mean europe somewhere. fuck. there's still the remnants of the kool-aid.

this place - *gestures* - this colony. doesn't feel conducive to openly talking. the indigenous people here talk about truth-telling all the time, and that's it, really. there are few truths told on colonised land that are allowed. people here say 'i reckon' all the time; they hardly do. they sure as hell haven't really reckoned with the reality of what this place is. it's not a place you speak truths open into a space.

i'm being slowly poisoned by this place, i think. when i arrived, i'd never in my life had hayfever. after five and a half years here, i've begun developing it, it seems. my hair seems thinner than before. when i first arrived here i found my hair began to shed so much more. when i met two other chinese women selling the pearl jewellery they make they told me the water here is hard, and that happens; that they found that that happened to them too.

i'm tired of being in this colonial context. tired of the confined white western frame of psych. i'm so. fucking tired. tired tired tired tired tired tired. tired of the double-ended hypocrisy. tired of the dsm. tired of being in a 'western' context. that is only 'western' because of colonisation. this should not be a 'western' anything. yet. the air is doused with it. i want to scream.

then again writing this it must be kind of the same for others in singapore, us chinese settlers taking over the damn place.

wrote a needs analysis about misgendering of a non-binary and trans client in the community student-services clinic. go to start filling out a form for an internship plan that's for and created by the national health practitioner regulatory board; find that they only use binary-gendered language (i.e., he/him, she/her).

recently i've been noticing i have nothing to say or chime in with when around other people because i no longer watch or consume english-language popular media pretty much at all. no shows, hardly if ever any movies, not even really contemporary english-language music. when my partner's housemate talks i suddenly remember why i spent all those years in my adolescence watching all those fucking 'western' movies trying to be 'cultured' and 'refined' reading all those books, the 'classics', whatever. i don't know who the fuck david finch is and maybe i don't need to know. but i still feel the stirrings of those feelings when they talk about it that 'oh - maybe that's something i should know?'; the sense of 'oh they're a cool person talking about something 'cool', aka cinema'. but i have nothing to discuss with people. i don't know the music they listen to. i don't know the shows nor do i want to watch them. i'm tired of watching white people, more 'us'-based culture, which is normally where this stuff comes out of. but now that means i sit silently and going '???' looking around whenever people talk, because i don't know what they're talking about. discussions about music, tv, or shows; i've got nothing to add, nor do i even know what any of it's about. and it's a decision on my part not to consume these things, but it doesn't make it any less real that it means exclusion from socialisation topics. opting out of consuming 'western' media means, to a large extent, opting out of a lot of points of connection that allow you to socialise on those things.

.

yesterday at the barbecue my partner's family had at his place i sat watching his mother and grandmother, the latter of which doesn't speak that much english, sit not saying much - just like me - while he and his friends talked and chatted and his dad sat barbecuing, occasionally watching videos on his phone in brazilian portuguese. eventually his grandma went and got her phone and did the same, scrolling through brazilian portuguese music and content, while his mum sat listening and occasionally getting up to do some chores, like fetch water or utensils. his friend's mum called and they passed the phone to him and he chatted with his friend's mum while we leaned in to listen and laugh. occasionally my partner's mum translated some things we were laughing about for her mother, my partner's grandma. this time she had learned more english than when i'd seen her last, and she spoke to me in english phrases.

it wouldn't be much different if it were my grandma there, either, really, except that the language would be different.

i'm tired of this place. i'm tired of this colonialism hanging heavy in the air that i breathe in endlessly. g-d, people hardly even mix their languages here.

at the workshop at school i had to go to on tuesday one of the coordinators mentioned they were going to singapore and malaysia for a trip, and suddenly everyone was sighing and talking about singapore being so clean, about wanting to go back there for a holiday. i sat there without saying anything; i don't think anyone realised i was from there. there was someone else who was from malaysia i think, who was also in the room, but who also didn't say anything.

someone gone to bali. someone gone to thailand. someone gone to cambodia.

why [the fuck] are these white people here?

i'm thinking about that phrase, 'know your place'. the one that people often tend to use to try to 'put people in their place', use to put others down or pull some made-up authority rank with. but i do think we should know our place, as in one's own fucking positionality. standing on the train the other day on my way back home from somewhere i thought about maybe the problem [with me] is that i just have that chinese idiom in my head too much, the one that says 饮水思源, to drink water and reflect on its source. know where you're from. i can't take these fucking positionality goggles off. the intersectionality lens is fused to my eyes and i wish [other] people would fucking know their place, consider their positionality when they do things, interact with others. i know where i am placed all the time, know what place i occupy.

at the beginning of the workshop presentation they began the powerpoint slides with an 'acknowledgement of country', the standard one that says they 'acknowledge the traditional owners of the land' that they use for every powerpoint presentation if they're even a little bit aware, but which never actually properly even bothers to acknowledge who exactly the traditional owners of this particular land are, like when we're on-site on campus, and which indigenous land that actually is.

-static tv fuzz-out-

[zaggyzoo]

ok let's go. tumblr user zaggyzoo currently watching dramas recap (or whatever):

love in contract (ep. 9): as we say in italy, this is just fried air. i feel like every episode progressively gets worse, but not even in a "this show is Bad" way, it's just sooo mediocre. to me. mediocre premises, mediocre characters, mediocre plots, mediocre love triangle that i hoped we had left back in 2017. every episode i feel like nothing happens at all and I can't wait for it to end and i think the reason i didn't drop it yet is bc it's the only show that isn't on fri/sat/sun. and tbh things do happen, the problem is that they're all things you could've guessed from the third episode and they're just. not up to the quality of the type of drama it wants so badly to be. djjdjdjd wow sorry i don't even hate it but it's just sooo mediocre.

one dollar lawyer (ep.8): my bestie <33 love this show wow. they had a bit of a too long and emotional heavy two-episodes backstory that could've have been maybe managed differently but i get why it was necessary and now we're back to the silly antics soo I can't wait to see the new episodes!! it's genuinely so funny and it even made me think the courtroom scenes were soo fun to watch. made me think of while you were sleeping, which i loved watching so 🙏 that's high praise hfhdjdh

the golden spoon (ep.5): wow i'm three episodes behind on this helppp i do enjoy watching it (even though it has its flaws) but i never feel like starting an episode. helppp it feels like a chore even though i want to catch up. so uhm sjhdhdhdh but anyway i think this is very korean in themes, I don't think this story could work in any other context quite as well. and i also like how sungjae character is an interesting protagonist, as in, interesting how his character is, considering the usual role of a protagonist and its relationship with the viewer (that makes sense to me sorry). but in contrast I don't quite like how they didn't give the same treatment to yeojin as a villain 🤥 but maybe it's too early to talk (i hope)

gaus electronics (ep. 6): soooo silly djjdjd <3 the comedy is so slapstick and i think sometimes it could be finer, to be funnier. like for my tastes, it doesn't make me laugh out loud the whole episode, but i AM entertained for a good portion of it so 😌👍 also better kiss scene than most romantic dramas rn like 🙏😳🙌 and the 45 min format is really fitting

under the queen's umbrella (ep.2): this just started so 👁️ but i missed watching a period drama so much sooo i want to enjoy it fjjfjf gye seong must be protected at all costs 😭 btw actually surprised they went there! like i called it, at the end of first episode, but still ! i hope they're respectful and treat it with dignity and respect and the preview of next ep it looks like it but i'm still scared a bit 🤥 anyway why did i think it was a comedy when I start it fjfjfj also chani mean girl slay

may i help you (ep.2): the happines-park-hyungsik-ification of lee junyoung.... 😳😌🙌☺️🙏😼😖 sooo glad to see him act with hyeri, and it looks like a good one?? i'm shook. the start was a bit confusing but I think it was intentional, and i was then pretty neutral about the show but in the second episode there's a scene that is just soooo cute and made me think. oh this is good i enjoy this ! junyoung comedy king tbh. ALSO interesting how kdramaa usually like to have older actors with younger actresses, while he's often paired with older actresses à la lee jaewook 👁️ they do have the same charm i think... tbh while watching alchemy of souls i did think junyoung could do that role too so fjfhjfjf (love jaewook btw no hate 😭) OH ALSO it's so funny always to me to see how different catholicism is in korea from here lmaoo and i guess I don't really get how it ties in with the supernatural aspect of this show, that part leaves me a bit 🤔 but it's probably also too soon so we'll have to see

[collectionoftulips]

Hi! I'm loving your strictly AU so far. I'm just curious how long it's gonna be? Do you already know if they will win or not? I want them to win so badly!

Hi! I'm so delighted that you're enjoying the Strictly AU so far ❤️ I'm having a lot of fun writing it, with all the research and delving into Strictly stuff, which is a show I knew next to nothing about starting the project (thank you to the anon who sent me the ask that turned into that fic!).

It's probably going to be long. Like, I remember thinking BSN/the royalty AU was gonna be short and sweet, and that turned into a very long story. Considering we're already at chapter 6 and almost 40k and they haven't had their first proper live show yet, I have a feeling this fic will probably end up being very long. I really enjoy writing the rehearsal scenes (and also I think they are very important for their relationship building), but I'm also sometimes a little bit worried that it becomes boring or repetitive to readers (just because I enjoy writing it doesn't necessarily mean it's fun to others to read). Also, I did a one shot once that I put up on Ao3 after writing it for a Tumblr ask and I really don't think I wrote it well. I'm in awe of people who can write one shots/shorter stories because I don't think I have that skill - I don't think my writing style or whatever lends itself to that particularly well. So I think we're basically for a long one. I don't have a particular chapter number, especially also considering I keep separating what I thought was going to be one chapter into two etc.

I have mapped out every dance and song as if they are going to the finale, just to be on the safe side, but I haven't quite decided how I want it to end competition-wise, or how long I want them to stay in the competition. I had some really dark ideas about what was going to happen there for a bit, but I'm still not entirely sure how I want it to end. So I have a general decent roadmap ahead and I know the general beats I wanna hit relationship-wise, but just need to make plot/competition-related decisions, which I'm leaving a little bit organic at the minute.

Thank you so much for your ask and I hope I answered your question sufficiently ❤️

[archangelmacaron]

NTMF College AU Chapter 21

It does not seem that tumblr has a way to block spoilers like Discord etc so I'll just put any content warning under a strikethrough, if that works, since they might be a bit spoilery, so if you don't need them just skim past that! Let's hope the formatting doesn't switch paragraphs again (haven't had a chance to look into it just yet). I also wrote this on my phone rather than my usual laptop, and didn't have my usual 'read over five times to edit for word choice' session, so please pardon any repetitive words or mistakes! In which reality hits, also CW for gun violence, blood/injury, death musings/anxiety

-

"It's much warmer than yesterday…" Noel's brow furrowed as she stepped onto the porch, taking another small bite of the toast Caron had insisted she eat, although she didn't feel like she had much of an appetite. "This weather is truly bizarre. I don't believe I have ever seen fog quite this thick, either."

She swallowed the last of the toast as she held out her ungloved hand, feeling the air. "What's truly strange… it's windy. How is there such a heavy fog when the wind should be blowing it away?"

"Stay on alert," Caron said softly, putting a hand on her shoulder as he stepped behind her, looking out into the mists. She wondered if his sharp eyes were seeing more than she could; if they were, they didn't seem to be perceiving immediate danger. She closed her eyes, listening, but all she could hear was wind, then his voice again. "Which way is the trail?"

"This way." She led him off the stairs to the back path leading to it.

The further they walked, the more the slight sense of unease grew in her. She heard creaking branches, sometimes a snap or thud as one fell, but there were no voices nor the sound of traffic as they walked through the trees behind the neighborhood. She couldn't tell if it was because the fog was muffling the ordinary, expected noises or if, as her imagination was telling her, everything else around them had simply ceased to exist.

Caron still had his hand resting on her shoulder. It felt comforting, but… She glanced up at him. "Um, Caron?"

"Yes?" He didn't look at her, his eyes still seeming to be fighting to pierce the fog deeper.

"Isn't that a bit awkward? I could, um, t-take hold of your arm, or maybe your h-hand…" Why am I stammering? We have been in bed together, h-holding hands isn't --isn't too--

He slid his hand over to her other shoulder so he was just a bit closer, more protective. She felt a pang of disappointment when he didn't move it to her hand, but as he continued to not look at her, she realized it wasn't a reflection of his own desires--his stance was alert, he wanted to be able to move quickly if necessary.

Is he taking this too seriously… or am I not taking it seriously enough? I really can't see Jillian even trying to hurt him while I'm in the way, or Fugo attacking after he said he wouldn't…

"Here we are," she said as they reached the trailhead. It was flat and covered in wood chips, unlike the hard dirt path they'd been on. She looked around, listening again carefully. "I can't hear anyone else about, but the fog is making it difficult to be certain…"

"How long is it to walk the trail to the Hall?" Caron's voice was still very low. Noel was careful to match hers.

"Um, perhaps twenty minutes… but that is on a clear day." 

"Today is anything but…"

"Yes… still, it's all rather flat and finished like this, without many turns, so it should be comparable, I think."

They proceeded into the woods slowly, without speaking again. 

This familiar trail seems anything but in this creepy fog… but despite how uneasy I feel, I'm not truly afraid.

She looked up at Caron with a smile.

It's so weird to think, they planned for him to kill me, and instead we're--

"NOEL!"

She didn't understand what had just happened.

There was a loud noise --so loud her ears were ringing, she felt as if she were flying through the air, and then she was on the ground, Caron on top of her, and her forehead stung badly. She blinked, looking up at him. "What jus--"

He clamped his hand over her mouth, a little roughly, lifting his head to look around, then shooting out a chain. There was another loud noise, and they were suddenly being dragged across the forest floor, dead leaves and twigs catching her hair and tearing at her clothing before Caron was able to get his arms around her more protectively. She heard him groan, then they came to a stop. 

She still didn't have time to process as he sat up, seeming to concentrate for a long moment, and then she heard the strangest thing--the noises they had just made crashing through the forest were repeating, but from somewhere far away. The loud noise came again, and again, but it seemed to be following the unreal echo.

She sat up, then flinched as something poured into her eyes. The stinging from her forehead was now pain, no longer an inconvenience but something she couldn't possibly ignore. She wiped the liquid away and looked down at her hand.

It was covered in red.

I'm… bleeding…?

She clapped a hand to her forehead firmly, hoping to block the flow and wiped at her eyes with her other hand to look up at Caron. He was leaning against a tree next to her, and one of his large black hands was tightly clasping his other arm.

It took a moment for her to realize it, too, was wet. 

"Caron--!" She crawled closer to him, cursing the awkwardness of the prosthetic legs. "Are you --"

As soon as she was in reach he grabbed her, pulling her against him and pressing his hand over her mouth. He whispered in her ear, "Be as silent as you are able to. We are being hunted."

"Eh?" Her gasp was nearly silent.

She felt his hand move to her forehead. He made a small hiss as he examined her wound, then she felt something very hot from his hand. She tried to flinch away, but despite its injury, his other arm held her firmly. Just as she felt sure she would not be able to hold back a cry of pain any longer, he moved his hand. Hers went to where his had been. The deep cut was no longer bleeding, now smaller as well and scabbed over.

She stared at him in wonder for a moment, before moving as close to him as she could. 

"You healed me?" she whispered into his neck, hoping he could hear her. She wasn't sure where exactly his ears were.

"Mostly." His voice was so low she wasn't certain he had spoken out loud. "You can pay me later, when I finish the job."

She wasn't sure if he was joking or not. She leaned back to see his crimson eyes scanning the foggy forest. She closed her own eyes, listening.

She could hear a voice, very distantly. She focused harder, bits of a conversation were coming through.

"Yeah, I got the little … a headshot… …n't mean to kill her, I don't wanna piss off Bur… probably not dead yet… not sure where devil… I'll find… gone far…"

Her blood ran cold. The casual voice belonged to a complete stranger, she was certain of that… and also absolutely certain that he, someone she had never even met, was shooting at them.

"I hear a man talking on a phone. Just one, but he is hunting us," she whispered again. She felt him nod, pulling her closer again and flinching, as if he'd forgotten his arm was injured.

She pulled back slightly, looking at his arm pointedly. He seemed to make a face at her, as if he thought it a waste, but concentrated for a moment and the wet spot on his sleeve stopped getting larger. Relieved, she leaned back into him.

"What do we do?" she murmured against his neck again, having the strange thought that she wanted to be pressing her lips against it for a very different reason. It was a completely inappropriate thing to be running through her mind, but she realized that once again, she was trying to think about anything other than the situation she was in, trying to get back to the earlier cheerful dissociation from the idea she could actually die, and the joy of falling for someone for the first time.

She couldn't. Reality was here.

"We retreat, carefully, quietly. Find a new hiding spot." He looked down at her abruptly, still speaking so quietly even she could barely hear him. "Wait, is your mobile phone--"

Noel dug it out of her pockets with shaking hands and turned it to silent, vibrations off as well--just as it began to ring. She stared up at Caron, showing him the screen. 

The caller was Jillian.

Her stomach churned. 

Jillian… would never try to harm me… but calling me now can't be a coincidence, which means she might not have her phone right now… is she in danger, like Caron theorized might happen? Is Fugo? What do I do?

She felt her forehead again. She could feel the cut on it that Caron had sealed. 

Was this… from a bullet? 

If that had been a centimeter closer… I would be dead, and I wouldn't even have had time to understand that I was dying. Everything would just be… over.

A deep chill was settling into her, one she didn't think being held so tightly would dispell.

Someone is really trying to kill me--no, kill us.

I… I knew, logically, that's what was going on. I knew Caron was expected to kill me, but he not only did not harm me, but became my ally, and I think that made me unable to comprehend that I really am in danger.

Even hearing Spica talk about it to herself, I must have thought, deep down, that it was just her being strange and eccentric as usual. The concept of my annoying roommate truly wanting me dead just didn't make sense, so I convinced myself it wasn't a real danger, even as I made plans and talked about it as if it were so!

Even fighting Fugo, it just seemed so unbelievably fantastical; I was so afraid, but it still didn't feel real. Almost like I was dreaming, like how on earth could my dear friend be a demon with such powers without my notice? And I knew he would never hurt me intentionally, and I believed Caron was stronger… like he was my knight, here to protect me… that of course he'd win…

But all of that was just delusions!

She squeezed her eyes tightly shut, her hands clinging to his jacket tightly, listening for the sounds of the person trying to kill them.

How naive could I possibly be? 

I thought… we'd solve a mystery, bring justice to those who have died for it, and wrap it up all neatly, like characters in a novel… how childish!

Instead, Caron was hurt, all because of me… Jillian and Fugo might be in trouble, all because of me… all because I was too proud and headstrong to just let accept a loss! And I might really die from it!

I hate this! Right now, I… hate myself…

"Do you hear anything?" His voice broke her thoughts. She hurriedly wiped the water forming in her eyes as she shook her head.

"No… whatever you did, he seems to be following that deeper into the woods."

"Then let's quickly head in the opposite direction."

Caron gave her a warning squeeze before moving her aside gently then standing up, offering both hands again to pull her up. The courteous action made her want to cry. Why couldn't we have met... some other way?

"Which way?" she asked, pushing the thoughts aside again.

He thought for a moment. "The fog… seems to be lifting."

She hadn't noticed, but he was right--she could see a bit more of the trees around them. It seemed to be getting darker, and a soft rumble explained the phenomenon.

A thunderstorm forming, now? What is going on… 

"We can't risk being seen in the neighborhood… let's head to the Performance Hall. If he reported hitting us in the woods heading deeper in, it's unlikely a second ambush would be waiting outside of them."

She nodded, biting her lip nervously. "There are some storage sheds on the outside of the lots near the tree line--those might prove to be a good hiding spot."

He nodded, and they carefully began to walk again.

[cajunfoxnight]

Heya! Long time follower of askoctoberfox here. You would know me from ask-terrakion and askomni, if those names are familiar, and here! Anyway, here goes.

I've been here since 2011 so hopefully I can offer some perspective that may help. I've ran a few blogs in that time and yes, in the past it was more active before The Ban, but things here are there, and picking up again I think. I'm getting a lot of attention on my blog as it is, probably close to or near the same as it's peak for the more exciting posts.

I know you're not a Pokemon blog, but your blog is absolutely beloved by the Pokemon ask blog community in particular. Every October I know so many people, including myself, welcome October's return every year.

That doesn't mean you shouldn't take care of yourself, though. I'd advise you to do the story art and such throughout the year, if manageable, to post on October to help with ask flow, so you can continue that interaction.

I know people flocked to twitter after The Ban but I also know it's not that great there either. I don't think there's a specific site or platform that works like Tumblr does. It's hard. But, if you're worried about audience interaction, know this: You're very loved here. :)

Whatever you decide, know I support your choice 110%. :)

~Skins

I swear im not going to cry. Im not.. gonna cry. IM NOT GONNA CRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY TAT Hello! Yes I do remember you! I would really love to say thank you so much for your note and reaching out to me (I hope I can reply to everyone who did!) as well as your thoughts on October and her blog. I admit that I didnt think it was.. quite that vastly spread?? But, hey, color me surprised! Wow, has it really been that long?? Since 2011?? Wow I have lost all track of times these days, haha! But yes, youre right in that this offers a real nice perspective, which is something I badly needed. I no intention of her blog going anywhere, but I guess I wasnt all too sure if people were here much these days. Last year I felt like I was seeing quite a drop in notes/interaction from the previous years- and while it was still a good bit (and I was thankful for each one!) I was starting to wonder if people had moved on. Twitter is another place I am quite active outside of here, but I hear you when you mention about how crazy it is and getting your content seen is so hit or miss. Its funny in a way, youd think that running a blog for one month of the year that Id have plenty of time, but the problem is that I do commissions outside of October and that eats up a lot of my everything (I do enjoy it ) So personal work often has to be put to the side, that and my time management skills are bad |D as noted by how this year has gone |D. The nice thing about October's story is that The Plot thankfully is something thats not pressed for time, but I just have to get those certain pieces in place before I can move onto That. Even outside of the story, the thing I have loved the most when it came to making this blog, has been getting the chance to interact with others and spread my love for Halloween all over the internet with all of you!

There has been a lot to think on this year, and having that chance to just vent out those feelings, and getting the feedback that I have, has already done wonders for me. Whatever it is that I decide to do, I just want everyone to know that no matter what, I will not leave the story of October untold. Even if I may not get to tell it the way I want to, I dont want to leave people wondering what happens. Id still like to be able to draw it out, but.. well, time will tell, wont it? Thank you again! 🦊🕯️

[ocarinnas]

hi cah!! I remembered you from the time I was badly struggling through pandemic and online school and was so close to quitting and giving up. I remembered I sent you an anon ask telling you to cheer up and you thanking me for the kind words. I don’t think you’ll remember me, but you did made me hang on to hope that day and made me keep trying. Thank you for being here I really treasure you and sincerely hoped we could be friends somewhere on socials!

i have no idea for HOW LONG this been sitting in my inbox (im so sorry so sorry so sorry so sorrry anon...). i.. i don't know if you're still on tumblr, anon.. prob not. i've been away from here for so long (bc life happened, and bc idk, tumblr doesn't feel the same as before, if you know what i mean.. ). i.. i hope you're doing well, anon, i really wish this from the bottom of my heart. i hope you're eating regularly, drinking lots of water and taking good care of yourself. thank you so much for being there for me when i needed ♡ i know you said that i helped you that day, but know that, in that time you reached out our for me, you also helped me tons 💐 life is not easy, for anyone i guess. that's why people who are kind enough to help others are a ray of light in this world.

really. i hope you're doing well, anon.

im sorry for taking so damn long to reply. i hope this will find you, bc i wanted to thank you properly. and of course we could be friends. thankfully im not as socially awkward as i was before (guess i matured a bit, hopefullly), so, if you see this, please send me a message. of course we should be friends.

[aquarianlights]

Did you ever do the DNA test on Echo?

No, as I don't have enough for an Embark. 😭 I have been DYING to do it. So badly. Moreso now than I ever have been... Since all these health problems arose and his 10th birthday is on the 17th, it makes me scared I will never get the $ to get an embark before he dies & I don't think it's possible to test after death. All I would have is his ashes, paw print stamp and some fur anyways. Kinda hoping to get a canine tooth of his or maybe both, but idk if I'm gonna genuinely do that yet. All I know FOR SURE is want some tail fur, feet fur and ear fur, a paw print stamp and his ashes. I'd LIKE a canine tooth & a nose print stamp, but it's okay if that doesn't happen.

I want to send the embark in without a picture and without telling them any breeds so there's no chance for bias at all.

Embark is the most accurate out of everything out there, but like with every other DNA kit it only goes back 3 generations. So if he does BY SOME MIRACLE come back 100% pomeranian, I'd be SHOCKED coz that means the mix was further back than three gens and probably WAY further back considering the phenotypes of his littermates and the dam and sire.

I am betting there is Mittelspitz mixed in, but that would be so odd unless his line is an import. Coz it is EXTREMELY difficult to get a Mittelspitz in the US. There are only a couple breeders in the whole country and the Mittelspitz community in America is VERY tight knit. Mittelspitz usually come to America via imports as they are not typically seen in the US naturally or by breeding. The breeding that is happening is only preservation breeding because the community is that small. There's no bybs in Mittelspitz that I know of in America and I have heard breeders outside the US are very selective of what Americans they will sell their dogs to. So it'd be SUPER odd for him to have Mittelspitz mixed in but it's the only thing that makes sense to me. He is the size. His coat texture, colouring and markings are more Mittelspitz than pom. His conformation is much more Mittelspitz. But his temperament and biddability is Pomeranian to a t.

I only know so much about Mittelspitz coz I want to get into them SO badly coz after having Echo, who is 20 lbs at a healthy pet weight, I just don't want to get a pom-sized dog. They're so tiny. And I LOVE that. At least, I DID. But after experiencing a spitz that is 20 lbs, give or take, I have found my perfect size. And finding out what he is mixed with could help me figure out what purebred to look into next. I normally wouldn't stray out of spitzes unless it was a papillion, but if he is mixed with something non-spitz, that would make me pause and look at that breed for a few years to see what they're like to see if I should add them to the list.

Most of all, I am just sad that he is turning 10 and I haven't been able to do it yet. :/ Ik a lot of furmoms always say stuff like, "I don't care what he is! I love him so it doesn't matter! He is loved so that's what is best!" as if they are personally offended, implying that people who DNA test their supposed purebreds don't love them, but I just don't understand that POV coz it's quite the opposite for me.

Knowing what breeds he is will help me with understanding him better regarding his body language and verbal signals, it will help me with his training and will help me develop a deeper bond with him.

Just because my dog is byb/not well bred and I want to find out what is in him doesn't change how I feel about him or how much I love him. It never would. If it did, it would only make me love him more as I would be able to understand him on a much deeper level. So I just don't understand why furmoms get *so* offended when DNA tests get brought up.

Anyways uh...

I know that was a yes or no question. Sorry... if you have me as a friend on fb or knew me in my early tumblr days, then you know how verbose and tangent-orientdd I am lol. 🤦🏼 Someone could say "hi" and I'd write 5 paragraphs lmao.

Ik you didn't come here to hear me ramble on about my dogs phenotype and his pedigree and so on and so forth so uh...

TL;DR: No. 😅

[hottestthingalive]

Hey so you totally don't have to if you don't want to, you're busy and it's not really the type of dsmp content you tend to favor. But I'm kind of new here and you always have good character thoughts, no matter what those thoughts may be. And I just want someone I'm familiar with to talk about it, so if you have the time and desire this anon would appreciate it if you could give any thoughts on c!Quackity. But you totally don't have to if you don't want to. Also your friend @snek-snacc is cool. I'm tagging it so it can see me say this about it, and for no other reason at all. Thank you!

I would love to talk about Quackity!!! And you're so right, @snek-snacc is cool, and has now been tagged again to ensure it doesn't miss this post going up. Because everyone, including both you, anon, and not you, snek-snacc, should see this post.

Now, I'm pretty sure I've talked about Quackity on Tumblr before, but I have this mild issue called "Being Really Bad At Tag-Based Organization", so for the sake of this post, we're going to have to assume that not only were those posts lost to the either, but that I'm definitely not repeating anything I said in them here.

Definitely.

I put this under a cut cause it got pretty long, but I hope you enjoy!

Overall, I feel like Quackity's an interesting character just because it seems like he's always falling just a little short of where he aims, and that inevitably seems to end in catastrophe. And this was happening even before Las Nevadas, funnily enough, especially since you'd think a guy who bases his entire country around gambling and luck would be a tad luckier.

'Luckier' probably isn't the best way to put it, but that's what I'm going with. He just always seems to get this one itty bitty calculation off in his plans, and that results in everything going downhill faster than Sisyphus' boulder. Schlatt's administration, the Butcher Army, and the debacle with Purpled are all pretty good examples of that. In the case of Schlatt, Quackity teamed up to win the election, got the power in L'manberg's government he wanted, and everything really should have been fine except for his fatal misjudging of Schlatt's character, which is evident in his reaction to Tubbo's execution, where it doesn't seem like he expected or wanted things to go quite as, well, explosively as they did.

As for the Butcher Army, it was a great plan! Get revenge against the guy who destroyed your country, prove that L'manberg's a force to be reckoned with, and cement your own power in the Cabinet. But Quackity failed to account not only for the execution failing (which, to be fair, I doubt anyone would have seen coming), but also the many enemies he would make after the fact, including Techno, the guy who blew up their country the first time, Phil, Techno's BFF, and just about everyone else who was like "huh. that was a little fucked up. also this country sucks" which is, for the record, the exact same thing that happened after Tubbo's execution—which will be important later, so keep that idea in mind.

And then there's the blowing up of Purpled's UFO. A bad decision EVERYONE saw going badly, surprised everyone when it worked, and made a horrible sort of sense when it was revealed to have failed. Badly. Because hey, you know what really makes people like you, guy who tried to execute a man for participating in the blowing up of L'manberg, your country and home? Blowing up someone's home.

See, and here's where that execution thing comes in: Quackity doesn't learn from history! The Las Nevadas and L'manberg parallels have probably been talked to death by now, but the execution parallels? The ways Quackity misjudges people? The perceived betrayals of people he cares about that drive him to worrying extremes?

In the end, I think Quackity wants to be this calculating, logical, ambitious person who becomes super powerful and successful. He wants, really, to be who he saw Wilbur as. But, like Wilbur, his emotions, bad luck, and inability or unwillingness to learn from his mistakes/past sabotage his plans and make it very difficult for him to become that person he wants to be. So Quackity gets stuck losing and losing and losing everything, be it countries or friends or power, and every one of his plans to change that just digs him an even deeper grave.

also he's a duck man so i think he should have webbed feet and hands like a duck's but that is an entirely different conversation

[bandtrees]

Seven lies, multiplied by seven, multiplied by seven again Seven angels with seven trumpets Send them home on the morning train

@existentialterror i feel awkward @ing, much less for my silly art and sillier au, but - possibly relevant to your interests? XD i hope i do your girl justice!

so just today i've begun to craft a villain!light au, just because i have a lot of fondness for villain aus, and a lot of fondness for light <3

this au involves quite a lot of personal headcanon/interpretation, as light isn't a character i've done much reading on, but i hope it is still enjoyable :] my rambly idea below the cut, which in a wonderful act of tumblr's incompetence, got deleted and made me have to rewrite the whole thing which i am very salty about -

so my idea, for starters, is based in the backstory of resurrection - which i haven't read save for yesterday, my beloved but i just really like how it sets things up and portrays events, so this au is based in that a little - mostly, it sort of follows that theme of "how the foundation operated 'back in the day' vs now"

so in this au, light is first hired as a researcher by o5-2 (who i interpret as "the gardener" here but i think any of them could work), who she only really meets that once and never even learns anything about (including the truth of who she is) but kind of feels a connection/kinship to regardless, which... ends badly, but we'll get to that!

light is the kind of person you'd picture working at a place like the scp foundation - cold, calculating, intelligent, has a ton of medical experience, etc. - and she cares very genuinely about research and advancement of science and studying these anomalies, so at first, it really seems perfect.

the problem comes when she meets her coworkers - the "magic army", the "o5's pets": bright being bright, kondraki's reckless and rebellious nature, clef's trolling, the violent decommissionings, the crosstesting, the weaponization of scps, etc, and the respect she greatly had for the o5s is immediately dashed.

because she really did respect the o5 council, a lot: they were doing maybe the most important work in the whole world, they had every piece of information in every foundation site worldwide at their fingertips. she feels betrayed to find this is what they're doing - spending time prodding at a bunch of lunatics and watching them dance instead of making them do their jobs? enabling them?

sadly, though, because at this point in time this is just how the foundation operates, she doesn't have much of a choice but to play along, including signing off on things she doesn't agree with if she has any hope of rising in the ranks: she ends up as a shameless reference to resurrection working with kondraki on weaponizing scps, and just watches and seethes as his anti-social, impulsive nature puts him and those around him in more and more danger, to say nothing of what his plans to weaponize scps could even do.

and when the o5 council saw their mistakes and he died... light didn't have any direct hand in it, but she sure wasn't complaining when it happened. she wanted him dead at that point more than anyone, because then maybe the o5s would see reason and stop their spoiling of these dangerous figures...

from there, the au becomes light's intentional rise in foundation ranks in an effort to change it from the inside - become respected enough to influence the o5 council, and in turn punish those "problem researchers". she eventually uses her authority as a director as an opportunity to do so, singling them all out in particular: from using her relationship with lament to convince him to leave gears and speak out about his unethical practices, to reopening discussions of having clef contained as an scp, to having all of kain's inventions thrown into storage...

and as i like lament becoming an o5 in yesterday, he still does in this au: albeit under much darker circumstances...

upon light's pulling strings to find he's related to perhaps the most egregious offender of "getting away with stupid things because of power", jack bright, and how his doing so wasn't even interest but instead pure nepotism, o5-12 - adam - 'mysteriously' drops dead. it's not hard for a surgeon as accomplished as light to make it look like an accident, and publicly, so as to not show vulnerability, it's written off as him retiring.

this kills two birds with one stone: not only is light sending a message that this bias and "adoption" of senior staff can't be tolerated, but she's giving lament - and herself, by extension - an 'in' to the o5 council, just like she's wanted. not only is she one of the foundation's most accomplished personnel, she's the new o5-12's secretary!

(i should specify lament isn't exactly being taken advantage of here, his and light's relationship is very genuine, but... he doesn't need to know what his girlfriend did to get him his position. it's not important, troy!)

aaand with that 'in', light is disgusted to see how truly incompetent the council is - in her eyes, anyway. they let kondraki fool them all those years ago, and they're still running around like headless chickens, to say nothing of the workload and stress they're giving lament rivaling even the amount he got from gears. (never mind the fact they're dealing with fresh grief, a new member, and the amount of stress they're all under - in light's eyes, they need to be those cold, level-headed, intelligent world leaders she thought they were from the beginning.)

after all these years, light finally meets her 'alternate' - o5-2, who she's the most furious with. she was the one she felt that 'special connection' with - and learning the truth about it, that they're the same person, that light is nothing more than her less accomplished double, light kind of... snaps.

...to be honest, this au came entirely from "i think light killing o5-2 would be metal as hell, how can i make it happen" XD aaand i'm not sure what happens from there - light getting executed on the spot the second the others find what happened, maybe even lament joining her under suspicion he was a conspirator of hers...

regardless, nobody on the council forgets the completely covered up incident, and just like those she shamed those years ago, light's name just becomes a footnote in foundation history: a cold and intelligent site director, partner of agent lament... and to those with the clearance to know, o5-12's secretary, and one of the worst terrors the o5 council ever dealt with.

...

i had too much fun with this im sorry. thank you for reading this far if you did! i'm not sure what i intend to do with this au, but i knew for a while i wanted to write light as a villain, and... i guess i sure did that!

mentally, i associate this au most with the song 'john the revelator' by depeche mode, which if i ever get it in me to try animatics, i'd like to bring my imaginary amv of it to life :] it is rotating in my mind....

and hey, author light, if you see this post and read this far, uh... i'm sorry i did this to your girl, i promise i don't think she's actually this evil XD

[agentrouka-blog]

Can we start talking about how badly a certain blond haired green eyed queen gets treated in this fanbase?

People love to tear into every paragraph, every sentence and word about other characters trying to find hidden meaning and nuance to them where it doesn't exist, but Cersei? Oh she's just a crazy bitch and that's it....Not only that but she's a crazy bitch who we actively love to make fun of for being crazy and stupid. No nuance there...nothing sad at all about a woman actively losing her mind with no one around to help her. Nope she's just crazy and stupid and we hope she dies a totally not unnecessary gratuitously violent/sexual death for our amusement.

This goes double for fanfiction where people absolutely love to paint Jaime as the good son. He's never done a bad thing in his life and he needs to be saved by Brienne from his cartoonishly evil sister with no redeeming traits whatsoever.

I just feel like there is so much hypocrisy with cersei (dany and sansa as well). It's easy to dislike them so people just jump into hating them and refuse to see anything past that. Idk maybe im totally wrong and she deserves the hate she gets but these are just my observations while looking in this fandom.

Hi there!

I don’t really hang out in fandom spaces outside my jonsa tumblr bubble, so I don’t really get exposed to a lot of Cersei hate. The Sansa-Jonsa fandom seems to be more embracing of Cersei as a villain, on the whole...? At least I see no one bathing in her proverbial blood and cackling about it. Abuse is a big topic, whether suffered by Sansa, Jeyne Poole, Dany, Lysa or Cersei.

Anyway, I mean, Cersei is absolutely a villain. She orders the murder of babies, of children, of innocent adults, left and right. She will not be rewarded with a happy ending. But neither do I see GRRM going down a route of utter undignified annihilation the way he did with Tywin. There is already too much nuance to her story, and a grudging respect for her perseverence in the face of abuse and trauma. (Yes, even with the Melara backstory.)

What I enjoy about her as a villain is that she is not a hypocrite about it. She is at no moment trying to frame her goals and her actions in a benevolent light, she is not justifying it with the greater good. It’s #1 Cersei time, all the time. I find that much easier to enjoy than Dany’s willful blindness regarding her goals, her justifications and her actual effects. (More enjoyable that Tyrion’s self-pity or Jaime’s vain grasping for low-effort honor, too.) And I also enjoy the complexity of her backstory, because her rage is such a wonderfully pure response to the unfairness of it all. She may carry a lot of internalized misogyny, but she doesn’t hate herself actively. She likes herself, she overestimates herself. She doesn’t slip into self-flagellation like so many female characters are made to, she just turns on the wrath, no holds barred.

But yeah, the idea that she is somehow a “bad influence” on Jaime, as if he’s a poor little lamb with no agency of his own... That’s questionable. I like a good “Jaime swears his sword to Sansa” AU fanfic scenario because it feels fun, but objectively, that’s completely out of the question. The Starks would not want it, and Jaime would never want it, either. He is 100% dyed in the wool Lannister and his first and last thought will be Cersei.

He’s barely better than Cersei, ethically, he is obsessed with her, all on his own, his greatest misgiving is her infidelity. His ending on the show was one of the few that actually made sense and felt earned.  His true redemption is in being honest with himself about what he is. Not a victim, but a grown man with choices. People love talking about Beauty and the Beast with Jaime and Brienne, but the real beast Jaime loves is Cersei. Beautiful on the outside, misshapen on the inside. And it’s still the woman he loves, cruelty and treachery and all, the woman he will die with. That is who Jaime is.

Brienne “saving” Jaime is just not happening. She is a source of conflict and clarity for him, not his happily ever after. Quite frankly, Brienne deserves so much better.