#i hope it was worth the read!

[emmalovesfitzloved]

Who are your fav characters, and why ? And favourit ship/s ?

Eeeeek finally getting round to this lovely ask by the smartiest @imabitchforjemcarstairs hehehe

I have answered this lovely q, and here is the link for the full unhinged answer for the "why" them, hehe.

But the TLDR just for fire rapid answers is:

Favourite characters:

Alastair

Will/Tessa (tie)

Thomas

Matthew

Kitty and Jessa tie

Malec (if allowed a sixth place)

Top Ships:

Thomastair

Wessa

Kitty

Jemma

Malec

(lots of cheating with the ties, but im going to be honest, i can't choose frfr)

Now to enjoy this read and not make and make this answer half assed, I will be original and give my two cents on the topic of Wessa vs. Jessa i haven't had the time to chat about until now. So technically you didn't ask for this lol but i feel like we love Jem and this is a perfect opportunity to give an essay responce on the whole shindig :)

So scooch in for me @imabitchforjemcarstairs we need a chat ;) .

On the topic of Jessa vs. Wessa vs. Herongraystairs in TID:

I think I liked them a lot especially in TID, but i think that the lack of Jem POV makes it hard to really understand what's going inside in his head. And i think the relationship as a ship in writing, suffers from it, especially when we have Will's POV. And that rather, the decisions that 'metamorph' in their relationship is out of Jessa's hands, but a response to the events CC convienently plops in, not allowing any of these three characters decided eyes wide open their fate. Which imo, is a cop out. Let's breakdown the sneaky manipulative writing CC did ;)

I recently reread TID (for about the 10th time now, as one does during the christmas season lol) and found that even during the Herongraystairs arc, it felt like the writing gave more bonding and more to Wessa than Jessa. I call this in romance novels the, "convincing period", where the author in those formative chapters has to convince the reader that these two individuals should be in a ship. CC convinced us on Wessa bc they were into each other since day 0 when Will saved her from the Twin sisters, had so many hobbies in common and shared the same common struggles of figuring out who they want to be in this world (Will struggling w/ his identity and curse and Tessa as a weird hybrid warlock who constantly gets gaslit her who life). So the convincing is done well there i think we can all agree on that pretty easily.

For Jem and Tessa, it seems as if Tessa always defaulted to him because he was a failsafe from Will. And i don't mean that negatively, but in that, he was brilliant, light, elegant, poised and studied and that is literally sexy as hell lol. LIKE COME ON, HE MADE MUSIC ON HIS VIOLIN FOR HERRR. THAT'S HELLA ROMANTIC. And is very "show don't tell" when it comes to his love, my fav trope. He is very clear, which at the time, was the opposite of Will. So that in of itself is attractive to Tessa. But it's a canon event, that she went into the engagement collaterally in book 2, bc Will constantly kept deflecting what they had. She wouldn't have explored a relationship with Jem, if it weren't for Will's deflections. This is literally a canon event. And Tessa wanted to explore what she had with Jem bc he was very decided and less flakey than Will. Which tbh makes utter sense to me!

But as you can see, later on, once Jem leaves the silent brothers, the way i interpreted this is that, Jem and Tessa became a thing bc of the history they have, the loyalty they have to the trio friendship group and bc Tessa doesn't have Will anymore. It's giving very much "begin again" by Taylor Swift Vibes (not too much but yk kinda that aesthetic). And what I'm trying to say, is that I read the Jessa relationship at a disadvantage when up against Wessa. I think CC would have benefited writing Jessa and Wessa independent, and not collaterally contigent on the happenings of what was going on with the status of the other relationship. And then, on Wessa's side in response to Jem leaving for the Silent Brothers, they didn't want to get together in Book 3, bc Will didn't want to take his best mate's girl away bc his best mate never asks anything of Will and he's also high key dying.

It’s unfair that Wessa happened bc Will felt like there was a curse which gave way for Jessa’s engagement, and conversely, it’s unfair that Wessa only got together once the silent brothers made Jem one of them. So again, the autonomy of these characters are not happening 'authentically' but are happening bc of circumstances.

There is also the accidental (ig) trope that Jem with his illness he was given which in political theory we call, “the children are dying” trope. Which means, you give blanket equity or veto power to someone irrespective of the context of deserving because they are “closer to death” than anyone else. This is THE DRIVING FORCE, of why everyone acts the way they do around poor Jem and it drives him, and us the readers crazy, rightfully so. Jem and Will become friends, not because Will at first fr liked Jem as a person or thought he was a talented shadowhunter, but “because he was dying”, blanket permission for friendship. Tessa was kind to Jem at first because, you guessed it, blanket permission because he is closer to death than she is. They get engaged despite not knowing each other for a long time, conveniently for Jem because, yes, he’s close to death. So much of autonomy is once again stripped from characters around Jem, because most of their actions are respective to his illness. Which is polite, lovely, but it rightfully upsets Jem because he is still a person. Not a a make a wish kid nor a charity case. This was touched on briefly when he said he didn’t want a nurse out of Tessa but a wife. This wasn’t morally delved into deeply save for Tessa’s answer “no I fr like u dude wdym” but than her actions proceed to default back to the “children are dying” complex around him. And we’re only freed from this trope finally once Jem has lived basically the immortal life and is a very changed person after silent brotherhood.

So WTF to do right? Seems like CC built up amazing grounds and complications in these characters, but what to do right? How can she wrap this up in a nice bow? Well CC went naturally via the occam's razor route, which is: Jem becomes a literal monk giving him 'immortality', so circumstantially, the only option JUST SO HAPPENS that Will and Tessa can be together. Again, its not a decision Tessa makes, its a problem that solves itself for Tessa. She goes with Will for now, and maybe in the future, she will go with Jem if he ever leave the silent brothers.

Which again, imo is a bit of a cop out. But CC didn't allow Tessa to put her big girl panties and choose a man. But one thing is clear, which is CC didn't write Will and Jem equal from the start. And it is very clear that Will was written from the beginning as the forbidden love and chosen one. Which is extremely unfair to Jem bc there is so much we could have learned and gained from a Jem pairing that DIDN'T happen bc of the circumstances of Wessa not working out. I truly think that Jem was written with an unfair disadvantage. Like i said, One bc his POV hasn't ever been explored that well. and Two, bc all of Tessa's choices weren't made bc she willed them, but bc CC wrote the circumstances in to take away the choice for her.

Now what I do think is right, is that Jessa, both being immortal are together later on in Shadowhunter Canon. I love Mina and I love what they can be for each other. They make each other happy. And for anyone who says that you can have only 1 love in ur life has a very romantic judeo-catholic view on things XD. U can have many loves in ur life, and each of them can be independent from each other. Love is not mutually exclusive. How is it that you can love unbundently and feel equal love for your multiple pets and children, but not find it in yourself to love more than 2 men? It is entirely possible. And so I do think there is room for Jessa, even if Wessa happened first. And I don't think it is disrespectful or cheating to remarry or find another love after one has ended.

I read criticism about them and how they don't live up to the same version as they were in TID, but i think living hundreds of years does that to you. And i don't think it's the fault of anyone in the pairing to 'bring out' the best in the other, but they can also be very changed people from when they were young. This criticism that they aren't great together later on in life is rooted in their own way of dealing with immortality AND THEN each other. I think what is a pity is that it isn't explored as well as Magnus's immortality has shaped his life which i think again, puts Jessa at a disadvantage. Magnus' continuity as I explained before is given a wider girth than Jessa which is why he is my preferred immortal. But then again, what would Magnus do, if he was immortal forever with his ship? He would be a very changed person he wouldn’t be his own comedic relief that’s for sure. In fact, Camille was not wrong when she said that immortality changes your relationship greatly. Where she fucked up was treating poor babygirl Magnus like shit just in general lol, and being immortal doesn't mean u have to be an asshole. I think immortality truly did a number on Jem and Tessa, irrespective of each other and has not a lot to do with Jem or how he treats her, but a lot about how how Tessa and Jem are quite literally a hundreds of year old great grandma and gramdpa hahahahaha.

But if Will were still alive or immortal like Tessa, would Tessa still be with him now that she has the option of being with Jem forever? Again, we are stripped away from that option because the circumstances decided over the characters. But I do think she would still chose Will.

Final question is, would Herongraystairs actually work? The answer in CC's eyes and again, the occam's razor answer is obviously 'yes'. In fact Tessa herself in Book 3 said it is entirely possible to be in love with 2 people at once and I think poly relationships are a beautiful thing. But is it the easiest and first answer, or is it the TRUE answer? Again, that we will never know bc Tessa's decisions on this matter are in response to the environment she is in, not because she truly believes it.

It is very clear that Will is written all across Tessa's mind in Book 1, and is what she thinks about 24/7. There were times where i was like, "girl just go up to him and JUST EXPLODE UR FEELS ON HIM UR GIVING ME A HEADACHE". But the plot just so conveniently every time they had a moment alone, would get 'interrupted' and the moment was gone. Only after in response to this mess of a situationship, did she go for Jem bc of his ease and what he represented (which we talked about before^) but it wasn't equally organic. It was in response to what happened with Will. Truly we all know, that Tessa would not have even considered Jem, if Will and Tessa decided to be a couple and engage by book 1. And I hate that Jessa read to me as second best, instead of a true, equal 1st place like Wessa. Which is would have to be, in order to have a Herongraystairs. I don't like that CC made Jessa collateral, but tbh i think she didn't know how to chose in the making of TID. So instead of choosing or rewriting the relationship so that both ships were dealt with equally, she made the events of the plot decide for the characters instead.

In defence of CC, a lot of our lives happens in response to our surroundings and circumstances instead of pure Free Will. Which might ironically make Jessa and Wessa and Herongraystairs even more realistic than maybe the idyllic cleanly chosen choices. Life moves fast and we can barely respond to it in time. And what matters most at the end, is that all three of these characters love each other dearly and would be there for each other no matter what. However, the way the plot was almost TOO conveniently choosing everything instead of the characters making hand on heart choices, swings us back to being a bit too unrealistic.

I truly, really love Jessa and I would marry Jem myself lol, but I really disliked the way it wasn't dealt with fairly. I am happy that they end up together at the end, I just didn't like the way they went about it. I would be more sold on Herongraystairs if it was dealt with more evenly instead of the other side of the poly v, instead of being collaterally contingent to the happenings of Wessa. Who knows, CC said that Jessa will re-encounter Will again and not in shadowhunter heaven so i wonder if there is any ability to clean this all up. But bc of the way CC wrote Jessa over how i WISHED she wrote them, Jessa is not in the top 5 ships for me unfortunately. It's def top 10 (and for sure over Clare lol) probablly like 7th place but not top 5. I think there are other relationships in the Shadowhunter fandom that are written a lot more cleanly where the characters are given by CC more autonomy in their choices which makes it easier to follow along. Not to mention get their POVs.

I cannot wait for your own lovely essay on our fav Jem @imabitchforjemcarstairs ! I hope my re-mentioning of it doesn't come across as antsy or like i'm trying to 'remind you' passively lol. Which would be awfully rude. As you can tell, I took my time to reply to this one :). My intention is one of pure excitement, fandom-ing over it and showing support.

art credit: @giannyfili on instagram

[thatevakid]

[p4nishers]

there's something i need to say and yall can boo me for it but deep in my heart i'll always know i'm correct: crowley already forgave aziraphale. like already would take him back at one flutter of his eyelashes. that's all.

[soranker]

…..im wolfwood pilled atm 😆🤞

[zenithofstories]

Sarah J. Maas Bonus Chapter Masterlist

Many people have posted images of the bonus chapters from Sarah J. Maas's books, and I thank you for giving us access to content we would have missed out on otherwise. However, no one has posted all of them, so I figure that I can collate the links in one place.

There are minor spoilers below the cut in the chapter descriptions, so be wary of looking too far ahead, if you have not read all the books.

Throne of Glass

The Captain and the Prince - A conversation between Dorian and Chaol before the start of TOG

The Assassin and the Captain - When Celaena arrives back at the castle from her first mission as the King's Champion between TOG and COM, Chaol is waiting to greet her

The Assassin and the Princess - Before the start of COM, once Celaena has been the King's Champion for a month, she and Nehemia do a little shopping in Rifthold

Untitled - Mistward is visited by nobles—including one of Rowan's exes—during Celaena's time there in HOF

Untitled - A bonus chapter while Aelin and the rest of her court travel through Terrasen in EOS

Untitled - Chaol and Nesryn's sea journey before the start of TOD

A Court of Thorns and Roses

Wings and Embers - Cassian goes to visit the mortal world and ask Nesta to deliver a letter to the mortal queens in ACOMAF

Feyre's Perspective - In ACOSF, after Feyre and Rhys tells her sisters about their baby, they have a conversation

Azriel's Perspective - After the Winter Solstice celebration in ACOSF, Azriel is wandering the halls, unable to sleep

Crescent City

Ruhn's Perspective - Once Cormac comes to town in HOSAB, Flynn's younger sister decides to visit

Bryce's Perspective - Part 1 - Part 2 - Cormac invites her to a luncheon at Flynn's parent's villa in HOSAB

Tharion's Perspective - Part 1 - Part 2 - Tharion reminisces about first meeting Hypaxia during HOSAB

An alternative is here; the highlights contain all three chapters

If I have missed any, please feel free to let me know, or link them in the comments/reblogs :D

[buck2eddie]

quote from “but i can see all along, love (it was you all the way down)” // written by @captain-hen

[thepoisonroom]

'I flirted with the idea that instead of being trans that I was just a cross-dresser (a quirk, I thought, that could be quietly folded into an otherwise average life) and that my dysphoria was sexual in nature, and sexual only. And if my feelings were only sexual, then, I wondered, perhaps I wasn’t actually trans.

I had read about a book called The Man Who Would Be Queen, by a Northwestern University professor who believed that transwomen who were attracted to women were really confused fetishists, they wanted to be women to satisfy an autogynephilia. And though I first read about this book in the context of its debunkment and disparagement, I thought about the electricity of slipping on those tights, zipping up those boots, and a stream of guilt followed. Maybe this professor was right, and maybe I was only a fetishist. Not trans, just a misguided boy.

About a year later, on the Internet, I come across a transwoman who added a unique message to the crowd refuting this professor. Oh, I wish I remember who this woman was, and I wish even more that I could do better than paraphrase her, but I remember her saying something like this: “Well, of course I feel sexy putting on women’s clothing and having a woman’s body. If you feel comfortable in your body for the first time, won’t that probably mean it’ll be the first time you feel comfortable, too, with delighting in your body as a sexual thing?”'

-Casey Plett, Consciousness

[icezeebee]

This all comes from @dilatorywriting ‘s work please go check them out they’re awesome! I wanted to make something for their 4k special so I made a request and made up my mind to draw most of it.

[bethanyactually]

Nancy Drew + text posts (37/?)

4.08 || The Crooked Banister (1/5)

feat. @gorgeoussimplehousecat ♥︎

[oops-its-a-fanwork]

Dancing with the pirate boys~🕺💃

I simply think we should dance! Dancing is fun!💕

This pirate au is by @mega-punani and these are just my non-canon headcanons <3 check out their page for more! (she's currently not updating this au but her page is a lovely visit!)

Sans Sooo you know those dances where one person does very little dancing and the other person is pretty much dancing around them, pulling them in? He'd offer one of those dances as a 'haha gotcha now I don't have to do much' kinda thing, but little did he know how you'd turn the tables on him! Oh the shameless flirting as you danced your little heart out! Your fleeting touches as you flutter around him, the looks you give him, the proximity as you pull him close, face to face, only to then pull away for another wide twirl~ He's at the centre of the stage and he cant leave, since he promised you he would do this for you. But oh this man is flustered. He is bright blue. And he simply cannot move his eyes off you. Even years later you can still easily tease him by seductively asking him to dance. He'll get bright blue and flustered again immediately even after your little wink ;) Ah man, you got him good. (The crew definitely teases him about it alllll the time. He just hehehs some more.)

Papyrus Yes yes yes he would love to dance!! Papyrus loves folk dances, ballroom dances, silly dances, tangos, just- anything!! Please ask him to dance! And don't be surprised if he asks you to dance either! He loves the joy of dancing in a group and seeing how invested and/or exited everyone is. Depending on how he's feeling, he can be either 1: a little stiff due to being nervous (maybe dancing in the crow's nest with waves like these wasn't your best idea...), 2: lose and carefree and a bit over enthusiastic (an absolutely joyous occasion or some alcohol may do this) or 3: comfortable, confident and super romantic (and pretty dang good!). He truly sweeps you off your feet in an awesome way! Definitely the type to be chatty during a dance too so he'll absolutely flirt with you while holding you in a dip.

Blue Folk dances hell yeah!!!! He knows a ton of them, is really good at them and is very enthusiastic! You'll have a lovely time with him and the gang, and he somehow knows how to make you feel special dancing with him even though you are also dancing with a ton of others. Maybe it's the way he looks at you? The time after the dance is well spent too: you are warm and tired and he is telling you stories about the dances' origins and the places he's learned them. If you dance for long enough you might actually get a very rare chance to nap with him: two tired and content smiling nerds snoozing on the couch. Slick and strict dances aren't his thing though. He loves the way they look and how romantic they are, but doesn't have the patience to learn and perform them well. He'll sweep you off your feet in a different way!

Stretch Listen honey. He doesn't dance. He plays the music. Important distinction. You can, however, convince him to try when you two are separated from the rest of the crew. You’ll be in a bustling town and evening is falling, and a band softly plays music for a buzzing cafe with terrace. And you may convince him to let you put your hand on his shoulder, to put his hand on your side, to put his left foot here, and his right foot there, then take a step there… and he'll be sweating the entire time, holding his breath until you tell him to breathe, darling. And he'll be stunned at how close you are. And he won't notice that you're dancing so sweetly until the song is over and you ask if you could do that again sometime. And he responds with a soft and flustered "yes" and watches you meld into the crowd to collect some drinks for you both. And he reasons that Yes, he truly might do that again…

Red "Heheh you can give me a lapda-" "No. >:/"

I think it would be difficult to actually get him to properly dance with you. He might entertain you for half a song but then he'll start trying to convince you to leave the dance floor with him. Its just not really his thing, and on top of that he's actually kind of embarrassed about looking like a fool unless inebriated. If you are out dancing he'll definitely brag to everyone and their parents that you're his pretty partner though! In fact, he might start taking you out to dance when the ship is docked just to show you off (and to make sure you have a good time of course). He'll request whatever music you need from the sidelines and watch you go at it. Man he has it good~

Edge You can convince him to take classes with you and hell take them super seriously, but he may have been too self-conscious/busy to start on his own. Learning to dance wasn't really a priority back on his home island and he might care if the others make fun of him for it, especially given his perfectionism. If he can use your request as an excuse to do it though... that'll probably do the trick! He actually really enjoys it: it's structured and beautiful and he can choose to either be in the spotlight with you or in a group where he doesn't stand out. He gets good really really fast too, so unless you are already quite good at it he'll be teaching you soon enough. It's truly a lot of fun and you actually see him smile a lot doing this. Truly a massive win.

Black An absolute show off. He knows how to ballroom dance but would never tell anyone even if asked. Except for you it seems! He puts you two in matching outfits, asks for a dance, and then shows off the fact that he has mad skills for dances like this. If he really wants to show off he might even create a spotlight out of sun or moonlight on the both of you. And to top it all off, he makes you feel absolutely special throughout the whole thing! …You can absolutely use this closeness to fluster him though. He can't escape your flirts while holding you this close >:3c He won't really join in on sillier dances or folk-dances unless challenged to, but his footwork and discipline are amazing so he likely will excel at any structured dance if he's been able to observe it well enough (to everyone's excitement and surprise). Any freestyling he will fail at though.

Cash On the surface he's making it seem far too easy to get him to dance with you. He makes it seem like he's out to get close and steal your stuff while he's there (as if he needs the proximity), but it's mostly a facade to hide how nervous this makes him. Like, genuinely dancing together? That's… vulnerable. Like Stretch, the crew can't be near at all, and honestly even strangers like a band are too much. You can gently persuade him to dance to the tune of a music box or radio you brought. You know you've made a genuine connection when he DOESN'T show you he stole something afterwards, even though he did it right at the start to have an easy way out of the situation. No one wants to dance with a thief, right? He puts it back in your pocket the next morning, and seems much more mellow the following days.

Bear He has a strict 'no partying in the kitchen' rule for obvious reasons, but if you are often hiding in the kitchen for some quiet time and tend to play soft music he might sway subconsciously to it, and if he has some downtime during the cooking process you might be able to persuade him to gently sway with you for a little bit, creating a lovely big blush on his face. Do a little pirouette in his arms and his day is all better. Other than this he doesn't really dance when the occasion arises, but you will find that he is completely focused on you as you dance either a silly little swing or some beautiful dance. He has no jealousy at all seeing you dance with others, mainly because his focus is entirely on you <3

Cinnamon Although complicated choreographed dances are difficult due to his eyesight and general clumsiness, simple slow couples dance can be done just fine! Simply swaying with him will have him comfortable and a little flustered. He would love to enthusiastically dance too but he's worried about hurting you and possibly falling on his face and embarrassing himself. When you do end up slow dancing he often needs to hold himself back from squealing at how cute you are this close, and he needs to resist the urge to suddenly spin you in circles and hug you so close because aaaa cuteness aggression! If you give him express permission to show it you'll end up having a very good time giggling with him, it's super sweet :) Also I am convinced this man can tap dance (or at least is trying to learn to) so if you can convince him to show you his skills you can have a lot of fun together!

[drifting-pieces-blog-blog]

SO WHAT'S THE REAL DEAL WITH ISRAEL? A history of a nation, a people, and a whole lot of conflict.

There is a LOT of misinformation going around in relations to the history of Israel and Palestine. I’m going to do my best to provide you with a comprehensive overview of this land and what’s going on. 

Is it going to be perfect? No. But it’s going to be a lot better than the crap I came across today of an infograph that was filled with wrong information set to fuel the desire that people seem to have to ‘be on the right side’ of a war. 

This is going to be LONG. But I’m going to try to make it interesting. I hope that at least one person that enjoys history gets something out of this. And please, feel free to ask questions! 

And I do mean questions and not just hate screaming out ‘facts’ that you read once from someone with no sources on a badly photoshopped image of two women talking about how Israel isn’t a real place. 

I’m not here to spread hate. I’m here to give you the facts so that hopefully things can be understood a little better and maybe we can start choosing to help and not simply fuel the fire of hate. 

I’m going to use a lot of Wiki links because I would like to encourage people to go read the articles and do a little wiki deep dive for themselves. It’s fascinating, and hey, you might learn a few random cool things on the way.  I'd also encourage further reading if you are really interested or have questions. Wiki can only get you so far.

I’m also going to avoid talking about religious history in depth and simply stick to the people. 

SO! Let’s get into it! Let's actually LEARN something for once!

We start with 14 tribes in the Bronze age 1175-900 BCE

We get into some sketchy history that dates back to King David. Early records are rough because of all the war and destruction from back then...also that it was 1175-900 BCE and record keeping was often difficult at best when it wasn't being burned down. 

Essentially, the 14 tribes did what everyone did back then (and arguably still do) and they fought. A lot. 

King David (1005 BCE - 968 BCE) is credited as the one who gathered up a group of people that had been fighting with another group of people and kicking the ever loving shit out of these people with slingshots (a standard weapon used by shepherds to fight off thieves and LIONS) and the use of a nice newly created metal called Iron (welcome to the Iron Age!) 

He got mythicised a bit and the whole David vs Goliath became the story. It's where record keeping got a bit off... But there is proof of this man existing. 

After the war, he united the split up tribes and became King of Judah and created the capital of Jerusalem ((hey look! They got their name because they were from Judah. They were the Judes. The Jews. The Jewish People. See how language evolves over time?). 

The next king, one you may have heard of, was King Solomon (968BCE-928BCE). He is credited as being in charge of the building of the first Temple. 

The first temple was an incredibly sacred place and where a lot of the things that defined and made the Jewish culture were kept. 

After he died, there was no clear succession line and the kingdom split into two. The Kingdom of Israel in the north and the Kingdom of Judah in the south.

Let's head on over to Wiki and see what they have to say about this piece of land. 

"The earliest known reference to "Israel" as a people or tribal confederation is in the Merneptah Stele, an inscription from ancient Egypt that dates to about 1208 BCE, but the people group may be older." 

So yeah, we got Israel mentions that date back to 1208 BCE. Before the splitting of the religions and people. 

But WAIT. What's that strip of land to the west called the Philistine states??? 

It isn't what you think it is. 

The Philistines were a group of people who lived in Canaan during the Iron Age, roughly 1175 BCE. 

They often had tiffs with their neighbors over land and identity, which often left their relations with Jerusalem not the best. 

Now, during this time, many of the settlements throughout what is now Israel was sparsely populated and the original inhabitants (the Canaan people) were dwindling and fading out. It wasn't uncommon during this time to come across completely abandoned settlements and ruins. 

Most of the population was centered around Jerusalem. 

You see, back in the late Bronze age, Egypt called all the shots. Take a look at the map down below. Look at all that Egypt territory! 

(keep an eye on that purple bit. It’s about to get important). 

Egypt had final authority on all land disputes in this area. They considered the whole area to be a part of their domain. Their records were a little....outdated. They still listed everything as being run by the Canaanites! In fact, it wasn't uncommon for the lingering Canaanites to run to Egypt any time they had issues with the other tribes and demand that it be settled in their courts.  When we start to see mention of Israel in Egyptian records, it is referring to a people (think ethnicity) and NOT a state! And the Egyptians were starting to see them as a problem. 

So what happened to the Canaanites? They got absorbed by the tribes that were taking over the land: Philistines, Phoenicians (Hey, I know that word from middle school history!), and the Israelites. 

In 539 BCE, a little nation called Neo-Assyrian Empire took the northern part of Israel. Then they slowly expanded into the Assyrian Empire. 

Wait a moment. Zoom in. Enhance. Look at Jerusalem hanging out all alone over there as an unconquered little square surrounded by orange. 

You see, Jerusalem was built as a fortress. A fully walled in city surrounded by unforgiving hill country, and land that worked in their favor. 

And then, Babylon happened. They were having a pretty good run and getting a pretty good reputation as being a HUGE thorn in the side of the rising empires. 

You see that bright purple bit on the other map up there? Yeah, it’s about to get a LOT bigger. 

(This is a VERY simplified map. Because this is early Neo-Babylon and it absolutely expanded further than this over time. )

They expanded around 911-505 BCE and wiped the Philistine people out. POOF. GONE. These people most likely were killed off and taken as slaves by Babylon and then assimilated into the Babylonian people. 

What's interesting is that the Hebrew Bible (which is a record of the Jewish People, their history, and their story of survival as well as laws) is the primary source of the mention of the Philistines due to the conflict with them. (It’s also mentioned in the Quran.) 

So what happened? 

In-fighting. Lots and lots of in-fighting. But that's over simplifying it. If you are Jewish, you know what I'm talking about (this is why there is a rule about how "A Jew is a Jew is a Jew". Division is what leads to weakening of a people and leads to what happens next). The fracturing of the kingdom and disputes over rulers and laws caused them to divide their loyalties and left them open to bad things. Very bad things. 

Remember Babylon? And how they wiped out the Philistines? 

They didn't exactly avoid Israel on their voyage to wipe out the Philistines. 

720 BCE, The Kingdom of Israel fell to the newly forming Babylonian Empire. 

King Nebuchadnezzar II grew tired of Jewish revolts against the new empire (see the unconquerable city of Jerusalem) and well... 

They attacked Jerusalem. This is called "The Fall of the 1st Temple" in Jewish history (589–586 BCE).

Jerusalem fell and the Jewish People were exiled (taken as slaves) to Babylon. This is recorded history! 

It was during this that the Israelite religion really started to form and come together. 

You see, when the temple was wiped out, it was a blatant attempt to destroy not just a people, but a record of a people and erase them and all mentions of them from the face of the earth (See the Philistine people who pretty much only exist because of a few Jewish records about their disputes). 

But the people retained their stories in exile and really got together and formed the corner stone for the way the world's first Monotheistic religion worked: Judaism. (People of Judah. Get it? It's based on a people from a place!) 

The exile lasted for a long....long time. Exile not just as slaves, but with strict laws that forbid the Jewish people from setting foot in their old land. 

What happened next? King Cyrus! (At this point, Persia existed 550 BCE). 

I'm not going to get into the history of Persia (though it is FASCINATING and I recommend you look at it if you want to know the history of the middle east.) 

Now good king Cyrus told the Jews that they were all free to go in 538 BCE. So naturally the Jewish people packed up and made a run for Judah. 

This was called "The Return to Zion". 

What does that mean? 

"Zion is a placename in the Hebrew Bible, often used as a synonym for Jerusalem as well as for the Land of Israel as a whole." 

So that’s where that word originated from! 

OH. You know what else is called Zion? Mount Zion. A mountain located to the south... It has SIGNIFICANT biblical meaning, as well as the location of strongholds and other things. Look it up. 

So, the Jews were allowed to return to Judah, but it still fell under Persian rule. They were just considered a 'Self-governing Jewish Province". 

Some returned. Some stayed. They'd lived in Babylon so long that they figured they had made a home there. I’m also willing to bet that there was reluctance to leave due to 1. The great distance they had to travel (like some sort of…exodus?) and 2. Fear of it being a trick and getting captured again. Hmmmm…. Sounds like a familiar story? 

You may be asking yourself about Egypt right about now. What's this exodus and ten commandment thing and the plagues and all that fun business I heard about in the bible/torah/Quran. (Hi Moses! in Hebrew his name is Moshe. In the Quran it's Musa! But in Muslim, it's a different story and not exactly the familiar one against Pharaoh!) 

Well, I'm not going to get too deeply into the religious stories for a lot of reasons, but a lot of the original Bible (old testament)/Torah was based off of stories told while the Jewish people were in exile in Babylon! They told these stories as a way to keep their faith, traditions, and cultural identities alive while being forced to assimilate. (The story of Noah and the flood mimics a Babylonian flood myth: Gilgamesh Flood! It's a fascinating read). 

But that isn't to say that Judea didn't have complicated and often nasty relations with Egypt. 

But, as the Jewish people slowly started to return to Judah, a more distinctive Jewish identity, culture, and religion started to form. 

And it was at this time that the Second temple was built. 

This is where things are going to start getting complicated. 

Second temple period! (520 BCE-70 CE) 

Because of what happened in Babylon, it became more important than ever to revise how they did things. 

The second temple became a bigger deal and the way the city was run changed. 

Hey look, Persia has a new king! And he's not liking what he's seeing in Judea. These guys are starting to get a little too big for their britches. 

BUT WAIT! Look over there! It's Alexander the Great! And he's conquered Phoenicia and Gaza! 

The Greek Syrian empire is starting to spread out. But there's a small truce with Judea. They’ll protect them from Persia and the Jews can keep doing their thing as long as they aren't a problem. 

However, the Seleucid Empire is starting to push into Judea and take control. The Seleucid empire was a Greek power during the Hellenistic period (312 BCE) founded by the Macedonian Empire...Ruled by Alexander the Great. And they are big into worshiping other gods and forcing people to worship their gods and rulers. This is a big no no for the Jewish people and kingdom of Judea. 

They start to send envoys to Greek trying to get the rulers there to listen to them. It’s not long before their envoys start coming back with bad news….and then stop coming back. 

The Jewish people have seen this before. 

And guess what? Jerusalem has become a problem. They aren't liking all the Hellenistic influence happening in Judea or the fact that the empire is starting to put a stranglehold on them. 

Alright, all my Jewish people? It's time to revolt with the Maccabees! (167-140 BCE) Jerusalem was under siege and the walls are breached! The city is taken and the temple has been captured by the enemy. 

Remember about the hostile countryside I mentioned earlier? 

Time for some Guerrilla warfare! The Maccabees retake the city and spend 8 days fixing up the temple after it was desecrated and all they got is just a little oil that stretches out way longer than it should have lasted (Hanukkah cliff note story version). 

But, there are other powers that are threatening them. Egypt has fallen and the Seleucid Empire is pretty pissed at them. 

We get revolt after revolt. Judea wants the Greeks gone and Rome is the power to do it.

140 BCE - 63 BCE. The Hasmonean dynasty takes control of Judea. They expand outward. 

The Hasmonean dynasty was a ruling dynasty of Judea that is WAY more complicated than I'm willing to get into because I barely understand it. But here it is if anyone wants to take a crack at it. 

Basically, with the Seleucid Empire falling apart, Judea gained autonomy and expanded into neighboring regions (Perea, Samaria, Idumea, Galilee, and Iturea). 

The Roman Republic stepped in at some point and it became a "client state" of Rome. 

Now, those of you that know your Greek/Roman history know that some big power changes are starting to happen. 

Enter King Herod (37 BCE) (And all the Christians in the room say BOOO.) 

Now SOME of you may be paying attention to the dates. We stopped going down and started going back up. 

All the Christian’s here know what that means. A certain Jewish man has been born, caused problems for the Romans, and then was killed by the Romans for causing problems. 

We now have the birth of Christianity. At this point it’s just seen as a division of Judaism and not a real separate entity. 

We got Julius Caesar and Pompey and Mark Antony and Augustus happening over there in Rome and Judea is doing its best to stay alive and independent. They need protection from the other places that are trying to take them out and they know Rome is the key. So they make deals with one ruler only for that ruler to be killed and replaced by other rulers. It's getting hard for them to keep up. 

6 CE Rome is their ally. 44 CE Rome sends someone to preside over them and Judea is considered a "Minor province." 

Powers are changing hands so fast that no one knows who is in charge anymore. 

The Hasmonean Kingdom eventually falls, but the Jewish desire for independence continues. Only now, they are at war with Rome. 

This whole time period is a cluster of problems and it’s honestly hard to keep up with who was allies and in charge and ruling and expanding and fighting. Just know that Caesar wasn’t the only one getting knifed in the back and by the time a face was stamped on a coin there was a new face in charge. It was rough. 

The important thing to know is that in the year 70 CE, Rome besieged Jerusalem. 

Emperor Titus was done with the Jewish issue. 

They held out as long as they could. And then the walls fell. 

The city was burned and the temple was looted and burned. The majority of the population that wasn't killed in the fighting was outright massacred and the rest were taken as slaves. 

The Jews that managed to make it out of the city ran for the countryside and hillside. Many were hunted down and killed by waiting soldiers. The Jewish population was sold and scattered across the roman empire. 

The loot taken from the temple was paraded through Rome with the slaves. They even made a monument for it! 

Arch of Titus, which still stands in Rome today. You can see them carrying the holy Menorah through the streets. 

There is plenty of Archeological evidence that supports what happened at the destruction of Jerusalem. 

Massive stone collapses from the Temple Mount's walls were discovered laying over the Herodian street that runs along the Western Wall. 

It's theorized that 1.1 Million people, the majority of the Jewish people, were killed during the siege. 

I can't convey enough just how big this event was. 

All Jewish people were forbidden from setting foot in Judea. 

We now come to 73 CE, Christianity is considered its own distinct religion. 

So what happened to the land? 

All the Jews were gone. Banished, enslaved, or dead. So who got the land? 

Well... Firstly, the city of Jerusalem was gone. When Rome wanted something gone, they made it gone. 

There was rubble and not much else. 

Know what else they did? The forest was burned down. The land was razed to a point where even today, it is still struggling to recover. 

Jewish areas around Jerusalem were systematically destroyed one by one. There were still uprisings here and there, but they were quickly put down. 

The Roman emperor Hadrian decided that he'd had enough of revolts and set out to destroy Judea once and for all. And while he did kick it in the teeth, he never succeeded in destroying the people. (They got real good at surviving and real stubborn about not getting eradicated). Small Jewish areas did survive in various outlier areas and small farming places that were otherwise overlooked. But life was certainly not made easy for them.

Judaea was changed to Syria Palaestina. 

Sound familiar? Two empires that were enemies to the Jewish people. Remember when I said the Greek records were really out of date and still listed the Canaanites as in charge of the area? Well… They also still called the area Palestina.   You see, Hadrian got the name "Palaestina" from Herodotus' Histories from nearly 500 years before. But Herodotus only called the strip of land along the coast "Palaistine" after the Philistines. He wasn't referring to all of Judaea. And the reason Herodotus called that strip of coastline "Palaistine" was because the Philistines were Mycenaean Greeks, so he was recognizing a (long since dead) former settlement of Greeks. (When Rome wants you gone, they want you GONE and to suffer).

Rome built a colony on the ruins of Jerusalem, Aelia Capitolina. Eventually, former Judea became a Christian pilgrimage and was settled by Christians. The land became known as Palestine. 

Not what you were expecting, huh? Bet you didn’t think the Christians would get involved in this Jewish vs Muslim issue. 

So 900 BCE to 70 CE, it belonged to the Jewish people (with the brief exception to the period of exile to Babylon). 

Then the Christians took over from Rome when Christianity took over and mass conversions started to sweep the world. 

Eventually, the population became a mixed bag of Romans and migrants from nearby provinces. 

361-363 CE - The Roman Emperor says the Jewish people can return to Jerusalem to rebuild the temple. In fact, he encourages it! He’s excited about it and starts to fund it and gathers up all the leaders, who are confused but cautiously optimistic. 

The Emperor is assassinated before anything gets underway and the Jewish people are banished from the holy land again. 

438 CE - Jews are now allowed to visit the Temple site. Note how it's visit, not live. A few times a year they are let into the city to visit where the Temple once stood so they can pray, then they are forced to leave again. 

Oops! Back up a it! What’s happening over there during all this? It’s the 7th Century and Islam has now become a major religion! Any Jews hanging out in the Arabian Peninsula? Convert or get out. They’re going to keep their eye on what’s been happening with Rome, the Jews, and the Christians in regards to ‘Palestine’. 

After all, Islam is a cousin to Judaism and they do share similarities to the holy sites. 

And there have been MANY wars over the holy sites. Sieges, betrayals, false alliances, and an overall repeated attempt to eradicate and massacre people over the land.

Now, we all know the Roman Empire eventually fell. But the Jewish people? Still banished. They became the Diaspora. Attempting to settle in place after place until they are either massacred, converted, or kicked out. They have no home. Just a place to sit for a bit until the next massacre forces them to flee. 

That's not even getting into the Crusades of the Christians against Islam in Palestine 1095-1291!! 

So... Skipping over a LOT of history and massacres and terrible things....

Oh boy oh boy. I'm going to skip a LOT. Because the crusades are a mess of WTFery and I'm not writing a thesis here (right?). 

But... 1917, enter Britain. Because of course Britain has to get involved at some point. You wouldn't be telling a world history tragedy story without Britain somehow getting involved. 

They take control of Palestine from the Turks. Basically, WWI just ended and the Ottoman Empire lost big time. Their punishment? Britain now rules their land (I’ll get to that in a bit). 

A decree is issued establishing Palestine as a national home for Jewish People, so long as nothing is done to cause prejudice or remove the civil rights or religious rights of the existing people that live there (Non-Jewish communities). 

Many Jewish people interpret this to mean that ALL of Palestine is now a Jewish State. 

1921: Britain changes their mind. All of Palestine east of the Jordan River is closed to Jewish settlement, but not to Arab settlement. 

Oh boy. 

1923: Britain says Arabs can immigrate but NOT Jewish people to Syria and Lebanon. 

What? What are you doing Britain? 

Remember that Western Wall rubble that was found in Jerusalem? The last remains of the Temple? By 1929: Muslims and Jews have been fighting over that wall for ages. Riots break out in Palestine and Jewish people are massacred. 

Annnnnnd that takes us to 1933 when Hitler rises to power. Jewish people everywhere attempt to start to emigrate and flee to what they hope are safe countries. 

1939: British government limits Jewish immigrants to 10,000 a year. Jewish people are trapped and the Holocaust catches up. 

1945-1948: Post Holocaust refugees try to find the only place that they may call home: Palestine. The British government detains them and prevents their entry. 

1946-1948: Things start to get violent in Palestine and British rule is unsure if they want Jews there or not. 

1947: the UN approves the creation of the Jewish State and an Arab State in British ruled Palestine. 

1948: Israel declares independence as a Jewish State and opens up to all Jewish people trying to find a safe place to live after the Holocaust. Essentially, it becomes a refugee state and if you are Jewish in any manner of the word, you are now a citizen and have a country to escape to when the massacres happen. 

A Jewish Exodus from Arab and Muslim lands results as they flee or are expelled. 

Egypt invades and Israel holds fast, expanding its borders as a result. 

Egypt continues to attack and threaten Israel until the Six Day War in 1967 when Israel captured the West Bank

(Pictured here)

The West Bank is considered the heart of Palestinians. This is known as the Gaza Strip. 

Many Israelis see this area as their ancestral Homeland. Many Israeli settlements are starting to push into this area in a ruthless attempt to take it back. I DO say ruthless because they have been using violence against those living there and farming there. 

There is international law that states that this area is off limits to Israelis. 

"1890: The term "Zionism" is coined by an Austrian Jewish publicist Nathan Birnbaum in his journal "Self Emancipation" and is defined as the National movement for the return of the Jewish people to their homeland and the resumption of Jewish Sovereignty in the Land of Israel. "

Now, the term Zionism has taken on different roles and meanings over the years. I mentioned above what the word means and comes from. But it was later claimed by right wing Israelis who want the Arab nations out of Israel. It was later taken back again to being used as a simple declaration of nationalism for the right for Jews to have a place to call their own. 

It's...complicated. I think Zionism can only really be defined by those who claim they are Zionists. Which ideology they follow may vary and much like any notion of nationalism, there are problems and dangers. 

Is it wrong to be a Zionist? Depends. But the answer is not a straightforward yes or no. 

The Jewish people deserve to exist in a state. But so do the Palestinians. 

Let's talk about Palestine! 

Historically, you got nothing until Judea is destroyed and the people are taken as slaves and killed in 70 CE. 

Then you have a bunch of Christians wandering around it declaring all the historical sites to be theirs. Which, since Christianity comes from Judaism, they happen to share a lot of the same spiritual and historical sites. 

But so does Islam.

There are repeated revolts, wars, disputes, and claims to the area by MANY different factions. 

Many times the Jewish people attempted to retake the area only to be put down again and again. 

In the late 6th Century, Islam was founded. They conquered Palestine in 636. Unlike previous rulers, they allowed Jews and Christians the freedom to practice their religion in peace.... but they had to pay a special tax and be submissive to Muslims. But, they did lift the centuries long ban on Jews being banished from Jerusalem. 

Guess who wasn't a fan of all this? 

Time for Crusades to 'liberate' Jerusalem from the Muslims. 

European Christians campaigned against Muslims to reconquer the 'Holy Land' of Palestine. 

Hey look! The Ottomon Empire (1466 CE) decided to show up! 

As I mentioned above, the Ottoman Empire had sided with the Germans and lost. They were driven from Palestine and British rule took over. 

Remember how I mentioned that the British government declared Palestine to be a Jewish State in 1916? Well it turns out that just one year earlier, in 1915, it had been declared an Arab State in which the UK agreed to recognize Arab independence. BOTH declarations were seen as giving full control to either the Jewish People or the Arabs. 

Good job Britain. Way to do what you always do and cock it up. 

Here’s the biggest problem with saying that you side fully with Palestine. Internationally recognized terrorists political movement of: Hamas. 

Hamas is an Acronym that translates to 'Islamic Resistance Movement'. 

It's a political military movement that governs parts of the Gaza Strip. 

They have taken charge and governed the Gaza Strip since 2006 and have periodically attacked Israel. They promote Palestinian Nationalism in a strictly Islamic context. 

In fact, they propose that Israel NOT be recognized as a state and that a strictly Palestinian State be formed. 

All the truces they offer to Israel over the years? Incredibly Antisemitic. They have carried out numerous terrorist attacks against the citizens of Israel and continue to 'advocate' for the return of Palestine without Jews. 

They tend to be the 'dominant political force' in Palestine because of their anti-israel stance. They pretend to want a two state solution, but will repeatedly reject talks and demand "From the River to the Sea". Their end goal is to remove ALL of Israel and return the entire region to Palestine, thus making it an Islamic State. 

It’s important to know that this is a radical group that unfortunately has a lot of control and uses its own people to terrorize and hide behind in an effort to bring about fear and hate and death. The actual Palestinian people do not deserve that. 

It’s also important to know that the Israeli people do not all support their own government or leaders who have decided to take up an extremist approach to attempting to eradicate the terrorist movement. 

MANY Israeli and Palestinian people believe in trying to find a negotiation that will benefit both sides and share a land that in a long lengthy way does represent three major religions. 

It is important to know what Charities are supporting. Where the money is going, and who is only furthering violence on both sides. 

It’s also important to know your history. 

When I was little, If you said someone was Jewish, I imagined a white European man. Why is that the common image of a Jewish person? How is it possible to be a colonizer if your people come from that country in the first place? 

So I'm going to ask you a question, and I REALLY want you to think about this. 

If someone owns land and comes from a land, they are forcibly removed from the land for a LONG amount of time, someone else comes in and makes a home of this land and lives there for a long time, and then the first people want that land back.... Do they become colonizers? Are they wrong? Do they not deserve their land back?

If you think the answer is yes, you need to go have a conversation with the Native Americans. 

BUT, as we all know... What do you do about the people that currently own and live on that land that was stolen from the first people? Maybe you didn't do the stealing, but you acquired stolen property and if you give it back then now you have nowhere else to go.... What sort of conversation needs to happen now? How do you solve this problem? 

If you made it to the end, I thank you so much for taking the time to be curious about history and how it impacts current events. If you have questions, please let me know.

[the-kr8tor]

It is done

[swordmaid]

shri’iia mood board

[canisalbus]

Religious trauma anon again! Im genuinely serious when i say hes been a major sort of comfort, especially as someone who has one side of family that is catholic, and the other evangelical. The imagry you use is fantastic especially in your more thematic and symbological pieces, i love picking out the different aspects like where bandages and wounds are placed, what kind of background may be going on, the colors and the emotions associated with them, etc. Even if its not all intentional, its good food

.

[far-beyond-saving]

"'You're so different,' he says, shaking his head and squinting at me.

'I may have grown a few centimetres since I was eleven.'

'No, it's—' He stops himself.

I put down my phone. 'What? It's what?'

'You're more serious.'

I don't remember not being serious. As far as I'm concerened, I came out of the womb spouting cynicism and wishing for rain." (Oseman 73)

This is an analysis of Tori Spring and her unreliability as a narrator. It will be incredibly long, so I hope I do not bore anyone.

Lucas, as we know, had been Tori's best friend throughout elementary school. He had a dream, to chase after his childhood best friend and start a beautiful romance—which was nicely foreshadowed by the line: "'[The Great Gatsby is] about...' He pauses to think. 'It's about someone who's in love with a dream'" (72). However, he realizes that she wasn't the person he thought she was. Or rather, she isn't the person she used to be.

Alongside Lucas, there are two other characters that hint at the fact that Tori was never this pessimistic: Mr. Kent and Becky.

Near the beginning of the novel, Tori mentions how she and Kent know each other quite well because he has been her teacher for over five years. And, throughout the novel, Kent continuously shows his concern for Tori and her attitude towards life. It would make a lot of sense for him to be this concerned if he had actually seen life in Tori to begin with. Along with that, it is very clear that Tori is liked by the teachers, as stated by Becky on page 79. Again, it would make more sense for this to be the case if she was a different person when she was younger.

Finally: Becky. Throughout the novel, Tori feels incredibly jealous towards her best friend, and she feels the gap between them comes from the fact that Becky moved on while she stayed exactly where she was. However, during their argument after the Solitaire party, Becky says, "you've changed. I might have changed too, but you definitely have. And that's not necessarily a bad thing, but it's true" (310). This completely contradicts everything Tori has told the reader.

The scene in which Tori reads her old diary illustrates my point perfectly.

"Up at the crack of 10:30am. Becky et moi went to the cinema today and saw Pirates of the Carribean (is that how you spell it???) 2 and OMG it was SO GOOD. Becky thinks Orlando Bloom is the fittest. Then we went to get pizza in the high street she had Hawaiian but obviously mine was plain cheese. YUM! She's coming round next week for a sleepover too. She says she needs to tell me about a boy that she likes!! And we're going to eat so much food and stay up all night and watch films!!!!!" (274)

It's very clear with the exclamation marks and enthusiasm in her tone that no, she was not born serious. Unlike now, Tori used to be genuinely happy to listen to Becky's relationships with boys. And—my favourite detail—the use of French in the second sentence. The word "moi" was almost always used by tweens as a quirky replacement for "me" (source: me. I used to use that word all of the time because I thought it was cute and silly. Gross). This is my favourite detail because of an earlier scene with Oliver when Tori says, "Are you suggesting that Charlie is better at Mario Kart than moi?" (63). Now, this could just be a coincidence, but I like to think that this is Tori's inner child being revealed to her little brother, especially because she would never speak to anyone else in that way. But, I digress.

So, I have now established how Tori has been unreliable with the way she describes herself, but what else has she been lying about? I think the most obvious answer is her hatred and lack of knowledge about literature.

Unlike everything I explained above, Tori does admit to lying near the end of the book, saying that books scare her because of how personal they feel. However, there are many things that contradicted her prior to this reveal. For example, her grades in her previous English class—as mentioned by Kent—and the way she used to read with Lucas.

After Lucas speaks about the books he is currently reading, Tori tells the reader, "I nod as if I understand. I don't. I don't know a single thing about literature despite studying it for A level" (72). Yet when Michael tests her on famous literary works, she is able to answer every question correctly, once again contradicting everything she has said.

Her unreliability is not deliberate, it comes from lies she tells herself. However, it seems like she knows the truth deep down. But I guess she is justified. After all, it feels better to say you were born serious than to admit to the damage the world has done to you.

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

hm. im not very big on new years resolutions, they're too much pressure. but... perhaps i can handle new years Desires

this year i want to complete a lil comic, fan-based or otherwise. i'd like to also complete some sort of storyboard/animatic thing. i want to develop a coloring style that i can be proud of. i want to get to a point with my dragons where they can have a coherent story & world to live in. i want to think of so many fun, trivial facts about my characters. i want to post more about them. i want to write and post an original thing, be it 1k words or 10k. i want to finish the rough draft of a book i outlined. i want to be kinder to myself. i want to create more gift art for others. i want to put more effort & care & love into my art. i want to force myself into the world and figure out how to live. i want to make an irl friend. try a new craft - scrapbooking, maybe, or making an enamel pin. i want to finish that last commission and make a new sheet for more. i want to be freer with myself. i want to finish at least three fics. i want to go whale watching again. i want to improve my art, especially in the matter of drawing people. i want to bake something tasty and share it with the neighbors. i want to be content with existing. i want to have more good things in life to list on bad days. i want to build a birdhouse.