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cheolbooluvr · 3 years

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the class president pt.2

pairing: joshua x reader (tried my best to keep it gn!)

genre: enemies to ???!au, angst, a dash of fluff but not really

warnings: none

word count: 1.9k

a/n: a very short pt. 2, but pt.3 will come soon :) writing “sequels” is tough but i hope y’all enjoy it! also reblogs/feedback/comments are super super appreciated <3 also platinumshua makes me feel so much adkajklfkdaas

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Dinner didn’t go at all like your dream. Actually, it went even worse. You were sitting around the table with your parents, Joshua, and his parents, enjoying your hamburger and potato wedges. The only good thing about dinner was the Hongs’ potato wedges, but you wanted to finish your food as fast as you could so that you could excuse yourself to work on an “important project.” However, you ate a little too fast which caused you to choke and have a mild case of heartburn.

“Sweetie, are you okay?” Joshua’s mom asked.

You nodded, feeling your face burn from embarrassment and your fit of coughing. Eventually, your coughing fit subsided and your mom rubbed your back to soothe it over.

“This reminds me of the time the two of them went swimming and you almost choked on your hamburger,” your dad pointed his head to you.

“Dad, please stop.” You didn’t know where he was going with this, but you didn’t like it.

“And you came home crying because you had embarrassed yourself in front of Joshua. I remember asking why it was a big deal,” he continued, letting out the most fatherly of chuckles. “‘Because Dad! I have a crush on him!’”

At that moment, you were taking a sip of water, but you ended up choking as your dad exposed you to both of your families. All of their eyes were fixed on you except Joshua’s. He was calmly taking a sip of water, but behind the cup you could see a small smirk on his face. You wanted so badly to wipe that stupid smile off his face, but there was nothing you could do but excuse yourself. Standing up, you told the adults that you had to go work on a project with your classmates. Joshua perked an eyebrow at you, but you didn’t notice as hurriedly rushed into the house and up the stairs to your room.

You fell onto your bed and stared at your ceiling wondering why the universe hated you and cursed it for all it had done to you tonight. You couldn’t help but recall the dream you had the night before and how real it felt. A part of you hoped that something similar would happen tonight as you waited for Joshua to show up at your door. The two of you would bicker and he would confess that he missed you. You would tell him that you missed him, too, and maybe, just maybe, you both would confess that you felt something more. Just maybe.

———

Joshua never came upstairs, and shortly after you had excused yourself, so did Joshua. He said that he had to go to a team bonding event with the swim team and none of your parents minded. They said they were lucky to have at least spent some time with all of you together and that they’d be sure to do this more often. It would be a lie to say that you weren’t disappointed that dinner didn’t play out like your dream, but after all, what did you expect? Joshua Hong was Joshua Hong, and you were just… you. People like him didn’t fall for people like you, but it didn’t matter because you didn’t feel that way for him. Besides, this wasn’t a movie, there was no chance that either of you were secretly pining for each other.

The following Saturday rolled around and you awoke to loud music and whooping coming from outside of your house. You got up to see what the commotion was. “Of course,” you mumbled to yourself. It was none other than Joshua and his meathead friends. He was still in his pajamas as he came out onto his porch and laughed at his friends who were shouting incoherent things at him . You groaned as you returned to bed, throwing the covers and an extra pillow over your head to suppress the noise.

That evening, you were working on homework when your mom came up and knocked on your door.

“Hey, hon?” she said gently.

“Hey, Mom. What’s up?” you asked as you took your headphones off.

“Today is Joshua’s birthday.” You looked at the calendar and realized that it was indeed his birthday. Though you had stopped writing it in your calendar for a long time, you never forgot it. “His parents invited the three of us out to dinner.”

“Mom, I really can’t—”

“It’s not an option, sweetie. Get ready, we’re leaving in an hour.” Before you could protest any further, your mom was already gone. You cursed under your breath and looked at the blank square on your calendar. You threw on something in between casual and semi-formal, something to show your mom that you “cared,” but not enough to show that you cared too much what your parents or Joshua thought. The six of you sat at a round table at Joshua’s favorite Italian restaurant. There was no escaping now as your little “project” excuse wouldn’t work here. You had nowhere to hide and so it was you, your parents, and Joshua and his parents for the whole night. You could only beg and hope it would go by quickly.

You and Joshua both ordered the chicken parmesan, a classic that you two used to share when you were younger and your stomachs were much smaller. However, when the waiter came out, he had brought only one chicken parm and an eggplant parmesan as well.

“Um, excuse me,” your dad tried to get the waiter’s attention to no avail. It was incredibly busy for a Saturday night and rather than wasting the poor man’s time, you took it upon yourself to just eat the eggplant parmesan. If you knew Joshua at all, you knew he had despised eggplant and it would be too much of a hassle and a waste of food to ask for a new chicken parmesan. Besides, it would take more time to ask for a new dish and the last thing you wanted right now was more time.

“Oh, honey, are you sure you don’t want the chicken parmesan?” Joshua’s mom looked at you with pity. “Maybe Joshua can switch with you.”

You looked at him and noticed the way his eye twitched when you made eye contact with him. That was a telltale sign that he didn’t want to switch with you, not in a million years. “It’s really okay, I’ve actually grown to like eggplant,” you said with a bright smile.

“Well, at least one of you has grown up,” his mom replied and you couldn’t help but laugh with her. He glared at you, but you didn’t care if it was his birthday, his mom had a point. Joshua was eighteen now, but he was still as picky as ever, you noted.

The rest of dinner proceeded much more smoothly than you anticipated. You sipped on your peach iced tea as your parents reminisced about how long they’d been friends.

“It was funny because a few weeks after you told us you were pregnant, we found out we were, too!” your mom exclaimed. “Now look at them, still as close as ever.”

As if some form of friendship telepathy never went away, you both feigned the fakest smiles and looked at each other. You both knew the truth and it was a miracle none of your parents had ever realized that you two had grown so distant, it was like you were on opposite sides of the world.

Despite your small lapse of judgement in your dream last week, you had finally snapped back to reality and whatever path you had walked with Joshua had diverged long ago.

Everything was going fine until your dad asked Joshua to take you home. Apparently one of their favorite bands was performing live at a nearby bar and you wanted to throw your shoe at your parents, but of course you couldn’t.

“Sure,” Joshua said with a big smile. You hated him and the way his eyes crinkled at the edges when he smiled. You hated the way the bags under his eyes made them look even smaller and somehow more endearing. But that was it, that was his charm. He drew you in with his eyes, getting your hopes up, only to let you down.

That’s exactly how it went in middle school when he told you he couldn’t hang out because he was going to the movies with the swim team. The two of you had planned to go see the new Spider-Man movie, but he hit you with that smile and said, “I promise we’ll go next time!”

There was no next time. As quickly as you became friends, you were left behind just as fast as he continued to make new friends and seemed to be dating someone new every week. You soon realized at the age of thirteen that you would be just a distant memory to him.

You got into his silver Mercedes, dreading the twenty minute drive home. The tension between you two was so dense, you felt suffocated. You rolled down the window a bit for some fresh air, but Joshua quickly countered and rolled it back up. You rolled your eyes faster than he rolled the window up, but it was his car. To make matters worse, you found yourselves stuck in traffic on the highway. You sighed deeply as the red lights of the police cars, fire truck, and ambulance flashed blindingly.

“Do you remember when we used to play cops and robbers?” Joshua asked suddenly.

“Yeah, I do,” you muttered, eyes still fixated on the scene outside to your right. “You never let me be the robber and used all kinds of dirty tricks to get out of jail.”

He chuckled, dropping his right arm from the steering wheel and placing it on the armrest in the center. “It’s not my fault you were gullible.”

There was a dead silence as Joshua inched the car forward. To ease the awkwardness, he shuffled a playlist. The first song that came up was “Ride with Me” by Pink Sweat$. Mindlessly, you began singing along as it was one of your favorite songs.

“You listen to Pink Sweat$?” he asked, turning to look at you. Under any normal circumstances, Joshua would never think siren lights would be romantic, but you looked so sultry in the red lights.

It was your turn to look at him now and you nodded. “I’ve been a big fan of his ever since Volume 1 came out.”

“Have you heard 17 yet?” Now the two of you were staring at each other, his doe eyes fixed on you.

“It’s one of my favorite songs by him,” you said. Joshua was at a loss for words and that familiar silence fell upon you once more.

“So, what’s new?” he finally said.

“Um, not much. You?”

“Same,” he responded through gritted teeth. Now the two of you had made it past the scene of the car crash and traffic began to flow once more. The rest of the car ride was quiet again as Pink Sweat$ played in the background. You had done your best not to sing out loud and embarrass yourself since you knew Joshua could not only play the guitar, but also sing.

Finally, your dreadful car ride home came to an end as he pulled into the driveway of his house. As you reached for the door handle, Joshua cleared his throat. “Are you going to homecoming?”

There was a strange feeling in your chest, but you replied, “I’m not sure yet.”

“Are you going with anyone?”

“Probably just my friends if anything,” you said quietly. Dear god, please let this end, you thought to yourself.

“Well,” Joshua continued. His voice was low and soft. “Will you go to homecoming with me?”

#seventeen #seventeen fanfiction #seventeen scenarios #seventeen imagine #seventeen fanfic #seventeen fic #seventeen au #svt scenarios #svt fanfic #svt fic #joshua hong #svt joshua #seventeen joshua #joshua hong x reader #joshua fanfic #hong jisoo #seventeen angst #svt angst #joshua hong angst

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lemonpeter · 4 years

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All For Him (Perfection)

“A cute prompt where Peter wants to go to prom really badly but MJ dumped him recently and Ned is going with Betty so he feels like he can’t go. And flash makes fun of him for being a loser with no date to the prom. So Tony offers to take Peter just to fuck withFlash and they end up being the center of attention obviously and they’re having fun and suddenly they both have an ‘oh’ moment and realize they’re in love and they kiss snd it’s very sweet.”

My prompt fill for @starkerfestivals Fall event 💕 I’m actually really happy with this piece and I hope everyone else enjoys it as much as I do!

Warnings: brief alcohol mention, brief mention of after prom expectations, Peter is 18 (it’s mentioned mid-fic), it’s 99% just fluff I promise

————

Ah, prom season.

Tony couldn’t say that he really remembered his own, if he even went. He had been...what, fifteen? The only thing on his mind at that point had been finishing high school and getting to MIT. Everything he did to piss off his dad came later.

So he probably hadn’t gone. But he was sure that things were different now, anyways.

Elaborate promposals, themed dances, after-parties that rivaled his college days.

Anyways. He hadn’t thought about school formals in- god, decades, probably. Like most people with some sort of life aspirations, he hadn’t thought about it since leaving high school. But it hadn’t even mattered to him then.

But it mattered to Peter, still in school.

Freshly heartbroken, sweet, perfect Peter.

Tony couldn’t believe that anyone would break up with someone like Peter. He was the type of person that people fought over, not someone that got broken up with.

But he had been broken up with all the same. He tried not to act like it bothered him, but he wasn’t good at hiding things like that.

Tony saw the way that his fingers twitched when he grabbed his phone, wanting to text something to MJ. He noticed how Peter’s gaze lingered on a window display of suits advertising ‘It’s Almost Time’. And he saw the tears that filled Peter’s eyes when they witnessed a - incredibly cheesy, unnecessarily extravagant - promposal outside of someone’s building.

And he knew that he would have to do something about that.

———

“Mr. Stark, I can’t,” Peter told him, sighing heavily. “I just can’t. I would look so stupid if I went alone. And it’s too late to ask anyone, everyone already has their dates.”

Not that anyone would want to go with him anyways.

“What about your friend? You know, Fred,” Tony teased, like he didn’t know his name. It was an ongoing joke, so Peter knew he actually did know.

Peter sighed again, resting his forehead against the table. “He’s going with his girlfriend. Betty. I’m pretty sure I already told you this.”

“Right, right. You couldn’t just tag along with them?”

Peter’s head shot up and he made a face. “I am not about to be a third wheel. That’s so embarrassing. And lame. I don’t need extra reasons to be made fun of.”

“Extra?” The older man frowned as he watched him. “Don’t tell me that’s still going on.”

“It’s been a thing since I was in sixth grade, Mr. Stark. It’s not going to stop until graduation, apparently.” Just a few more months away. Thank god.

Tony hummed softly, tapping a finger to his chin. “Well...I mean, that’s not gonna work. You want to go. So you’re going to go. But-“

“I can’t go alone!”

“I was getting to that,” Tony chided. “Don’t interrupt me. If you can’t go alone. But none of your peers are still available. Or up to standards,” he joked lightly. Then he paused for dramatic effect before finishing his thought. “I could just go with you, Peter.”

Neither of them spoke for a moment after that, just taking the words in.

Tony felt that it had been innocent. Just an offer so that the kid would feel okay going to his dance.

But from the way Peter instantly blushed and glanced away, he wasn’t so sure it was received that way.

“What? Would you be embarrassed by me?”

Peter shook his head quickly, eyes wide. “What? No! I just...can’t imagine that you’d want to go. To a high school prom. With...me.”

Tony watched him, eyebrow raised as he listened. “I can’t say that it’s really my scene, but if I’d go with anyone I’d want it to be you. But I’m just going this so you can go and not feel weird, right? And maybe you can show that asshole Flash up.”

The young man was silent for just a moment, obviously thinking it all through.

Tony loved how he could practically see all the thoughts and outcomes swirling in Peter’s head.

Then he nodded slowly. “Okay. Yeah. You can go with me.” He smiled a bit. “We’ll need to buy you a ticket. And make sure you don’t do anything weird,” he joked lightly with him.

The older man scoffed. “Me? Weird? Oh, quit. We can either be the center of attention or we can blend in with the crowd. I can go with the flow. Whatever you want. I’m not weird...”

Peter laughed, genuine and relaxed. Definitely feeling better.

Tony was just glad that he could help. And if he got to make the kid laugh and smile at him like that? He would have done it again a million times. “So it’s a deal?”

“It’s a deal,” he agreed, nodding. “We’ll work out plans later. I’ll...text you?” He asked it as a question because he didn’t want to overstep.

Tony waved a hand. “You text me about everything else, of course you can message me about this. No biggie.”

Nodding, Peter smiled to himself. “Okay. Okay. I’ll gather all the details so we can both be completely prepared.” A pause. “Thank you, Mr. Stark. This...really means a lot to me.”

“No need to thank me. Because I just want you to be happy.”

A smile from Peter. “You’re the best.” He grabbed his backpack and slung it over his shoulder. “Thank you, Mr. Stark. I’ll text you!”

“Okay, kid.” Tony watched him leave the garage, smiling to himself. He knew that he was way more excited than he should have been.

But Peter just made him like that. He didn’t want to read too much into it. No use thinking into what he didn’t want to discover about himself.

———

He hadn’t heard from Peter for a couple of days and he was a bit worried that he finally scared the man off.

Until he got a large number of sudden texts.

‘Hi Mr. S’

‘*Stark’

‘I got the prices for tickets. It’s kinda a lot so I understand if you don’t want to go’

It was cute, Peter really seemed worried that the tickets would be too expensive for him. But he figured that the younger man just stuck in the mindset that money was always tight.

‘They’re $60 each’

‘I can cover mine, don’t worry’

‘And I still need to rent a suit since the one I have is old’

‘And depressing’

‘But I’m sure you have a suit! So you don’t need to worry about that’

‘Unless you wanna wear a dress. I wouldn’t judge’

Tony chuckled at that. That was always an option, but he figured he would go more traditional if Peter wanted to blend in.

‘But yeah. Just wanted to get back to you about that. Since it’s next week we probably need to make final plans and all’

Smiling to himself, Tony started typing a message back.

‘Ticket prices won’t be a problem, I’ll drop by your school and pick one up later today. And I can handle getting you a suit, no need to rent one that god knows how many other people have worn.’

He watched the dots that signaled Peter was typing. Then they disappeared and he was a bit worried that he overstepped some sort of unspoken boundary.

Then he got a phone call instead, Peter’s adorably awkward contact picture filling his screen.

Of course he answered instantly, putting the phone to his ear. “Yes? I thought your generation hated phone calls, why am I getting one?”

A giggle from the other side. Tony grinned at that, ignoring how his heartbeat sped up ever so slightly at the sound. It meant nothing. He probably had heart issues and should get that checked out.

“Because it’s easier to call and talk things out than to text it all,” Peter told him helpfully.

He was looking through his closet, glaring slightly at the one suit he owned. He didn’t like it, for obvious reasons.

It was his funeral suit. It was also the suit he wore to homecoming his sophomore year. Not good memories. But he knew that suits were expensive and Mr. Stark liked going overboard.

“Were you serious about getting me a suit? Because really- I can just rent one. It’ll be okay. It’s one night.”

Tony made an offended noise. “Absolutely not. I’m getting you one. No date of mine will be showing up in some overpriced, used-“

“Date of yours? It’s my school dance, Mr. Stark,” Peter said flatly. But he was obviously smiling on the other side of the call.

“So? You’ll be with me, you’ll be fitted in the finest thing possible. Come by the tower tomorrow and I’ll have someone here to fit you for a suit. Custom. It’ll be perfect.”

Peter sputtered out a weak argument, but no real words really formed. “No- I can’t- you-“

“Absolutely no arguing with me. This night is going to be perfect for you. In every way.”

A moment of silence and Tony could only imagine the pretty pink blush that was on Peter’s cheeks. No, not pretty. Just-

Yeah, pretty. Sue him.

He was thankfully torn out of his thoughts when Peter cleared his throat before speaking again. It almost sounded like he was on the verge of tears.

It definitely wasn’t out of the realm of possibility.

“Thank you, Mr. Stark. This...it means a lot to me. That you want to do this with me. And that you’re willing to make it....”

“Perfect,” Tony finished when he trailed off. “Come on, I know this is important to you. Of course I’ll do everything I can to make it good.” He smiled to himself, ignoring the fuzzy warm feeling in his stomach. Damn heartburn. (Right, that’s what it was.) “Thank you for calling. I’ll pick up tickets later, then schedule a tailor to come by tomorrow to fit your suit. Sound good?”

Yeah, that was definitely a choked sob he heard. “Sounds good,” whispered Peter before abruptly hanging up.

Weird kid.

———

Everything had gone smoothly. Tony got their tickets and immediately handed them off to Pepper so they wouldn’t get lost, Peter was fitted for his suit and it was made perfectly, a beautiful bouquet of flowers was purchased, Tony made reservations for dinner, and he had a backup travel plan if Pepper convinced Peter that going in the iron man suit was a bad idea.

And then the night finally arrived.

Peter was nervous. And excited. Mostly excited with a little dash of nervousness.

He couldn’t help it. He was finally going to go to prom, the event hyped up from the time he was in elementary school. Seen in every teen movie, show, anything. Prom was obviously important. And he was definitely one for following important life milestones.

Even if they didn’t quite go as planned.

For one, he had been dumped by his girlfriend just before he was going to ask her to go with him. So that sucked. Then he waited and found no one else to go with. Until Mr. Stark stepped in. Which was an adventure on its own.

God, he was on an emotional roller coaster, up and down and upside down and-

Actually, the roller coaster was a pretty good analogy for what he was feeling. He had a weird fluttery feeling in his stomach, but he knew he was excited and couldn’t wait for what came next.

If only he knew what it meant.

He vaguely heard May open the door and he sucked in a sharp breath, doing a quick last check in the mirror.

He thought he looked good, not to brag. The suit was way more expensive than he even cared to know, but he thought it looked amazing. Sexy, even. The awkward, ugly prom suit stereotype was something he was glad to avoid.

His hair was in its natural curls, hanging loose and slightly messy but in what May assured him was ‘a cute way.’

Maybe it was simple. But it made him extremely happy.

So with that, he made his way out to the living room, unable to help the grin stuck to his face.

May covered her mouth with one hand, the other over her heart. “Oh-“ she walked to him, quickly pressing a kiss to his forehead. “You look so good. Handsome boy.” She smiled at him, gently brushing back his hair.

Peter blushed, laughing softly. “Thanks, May.” He glanced over her shoulder, cheeks flushing even darker when he saw Tony.

The man looked great.

Not that he didn’t always.

He looked like he was going somewhere way nicer than a high school prom. He looked so dapper, perfectly put together.

Peter couldn’t believe that the man had actually put all that effort in for him. To make him happy.

Mr. Stark really must have cared about him.

Then he noticed the huge bouquet of red and white roses that the man was holding. He had no idea how he had missed it in the first place.

He slowly stepped out from May’s touch, shaking his head to make her stop playing with his curls.

She made a sound of protest, but crossed her arms and moved to stand to the side.

Tony smiled fondly at Peter, expression conveying more love than was probably appropriate. Not that he would admit to it. He held out the roses, handing them over to Peter.

“I thought you’d like these,” he murmured, biting back a grin. “And it felt like an appropriate gift, given the circumstances.”

Peter nodded weakly, seeming in awe. He really couldn’t believe any of it was happening to him. It really was looking like the perfect night. He smelled the roses, smiling to himself. “They’re...amazing. Thank you.”

May took them from him, chuckling. “I’m gonna need two or three vases to fit all these....” she sighed, smiling. “But before I do that- ground rules. You.” She pointed at Tony. “I expect him home some time tonight. I say by...three. Not that you two will be attending any sort of party afterwards, that’s still the curfew.”

Peter opened his mouth to protest but closed it again. There wasn’t a point, it wasn’t like they’d be going anywhere after the dance. It wasn’t like they were an actual couple. They were going as friends. Friends didn’t have the same sort of after-prom expectations.

“Okay,” Tony agreed. “I’ll have him home by then, no worries.”

“Good. Next, if you do anything that embarrasses him or gives him a bad reputation these last couple months, I will hunt you down and kill you myself,” she threatened.

Tony snorted to himself, but nodded. “Of course. I’m just following his lead, he’s in charge here.” He winked at Peter quickly.

Peter shivered at that. He wasn’t quite sure what the older man meant with the action. He was in change for the night? Did he just mean because it was his prom or was there some other meaning he wasn’t aware of?

He couldn’t decide. So he just laughed a little and nodded.

“Right. That brings me to my final point,” May told them (but mostly Tony.) “Remember your relationship. He’s eighteen, Stark. Don’t do anything foolish in public that will bring bad press around either of you.”

Tony nodded instantly, but he felt like he was lying to her. He didn’t like that at all. “Of course. I wouldn’t even dream of making him look bad. And Pep has dealt with enough bad press from me, I don’t want to make things tougher on her.” As though the situation didn’t already look odd. “You don’t need to worry. Everything is going to be smooth, I won’t fuck anything up.”

May huffed. “You always seem to fuck something up. So your word doesn’t mean much. But you’d better keep to that. I don’t want to wake up to tabloids with the front picture being you groping my barely-legal nephew.”

“No problem, ma’am. Things won’t go south. Have some faith in me.”

“No.”

Tony huffed a laugh. “Okay. Fine.” He watched Peter, shooting him a sly smile. “Ready to go?”

The young man nodded, beaming. He went to Tony’s side, biting his lip as the man held his arm out. So he gently held onto his arm. “Bye, May. We’ll be- well, I’ll be back later. Love you!”

The woman laughed softly. “Have fun, Peter. But not too much fun, okay? And try not to just watch MJ all night.”

Oh, that wouldn’t be a problem. Peter already knew that if he was going with Mr. Stark, he wouldn’t have to worry about pining after MJ. Even if he didn’t want to think too much into why that was.

“I won’t, don’t worry. Love you, byyyyyye!” He called, trailing the last word as he left the apartment with Tony and closed the door behind them.

And with that, their night began.

———

Dinner was just incredible. Fancier than anything Peter had ever been to, for sure. But being with Mr. Stark somehow made it feel casual.

They left the restaurant and got back into Tony’s car - Peter had vetoed just being carried while Tony flew in the iron man suit.

Being in the fancy car, going to a school dance, was a bit too reminiscent of Homecoming and wrecking Flash’s car on the way to the Vulture’s lair. At least he wasn’t driving. And he was determined that he’d actually be staying at this dance.

Tony seemed to notice how he spaced out and hummed, gently setting one hand on his leg with the other still on the wheel.

Peter’s head jerked up at the action, eyes wide. “Huh?”

The hand was pulled away and Tony smiled weakly. “Sorry. Didn’t really think that one through. Just wanted to make sure you were okay.” He cleared his throat. “Having second thoughts?”

“What? No. No second thoughts. Thinking about....” he winced, shaking his head. “Just- really glad this time there’s no chance of my date’s dad trying to kill me.”

The older man laughed at that, a bit taken by surprise. But he was glad that Peter wasn’t having second thoughts. “Yeah, absolutely no chance for that. Don’t worry.”

They rode in relative silence after that, listening to whatever Tony had playing through the speakers. Some band that Peter probably knew the name of but would purposely get it wrong anyways.

Then they arrived at the venue. Tony parked the car, raising an eyebrow when he saw the ride next to them.

Peter easily identified it as Flash’s and had to keep Tony from ‘accidentally’ denting the door when he opened his own. That wouldn’t be okay, bully or not.

So Tony refrained from causing any harm to the vehicle, going to the passenger’s side and opening the door for Peter. He then held his arm out, smiling fondly at the young man.

The night was theirs.

Peter knew that Tony would have followed his wishes to stay under the radar and blend in, but sometimes it wasn’t up to them.

They were seen as soon as they stepped into the doors, whispers erupting throughout the room.

“There is no way,” someone nearby hissed.

Peter wished that his super hearing would calm down. He didn’t want to hear everyone’s disbelief at who he was there with. But he couldn’t really control that.

Then he heard the voice he absolutely dreaded. “Hey, Penis Parker!” Called Flash.

Peter couldn’t see him, but he even sounded smug. “What do you want?” He asked tiredly.

Flash materialized, leaning his elbow on Peter’s shoulder.

The other man tried to pull back, wrinkling his nose at the alcoholic smell coming off of Flash. The night had barely begun, that was fast.

“So,” he addressed Tony. “Is this like a charity thing? Taking a poor loser to his prom? Because-“

“Excuse me?” Tony sounded genuinely offended. On Peter’s behalf? Huh. “It’s not any sort of ‘thing’ other than taking my friend and colleague to an event. Because some people, like Peter here, can actually win their dates over with incredible personality.”

Flash started sputtering an apology, moving away from Peter. “Look- I didn’t- I- it was just a joke! Me and him are friends, we can joke like that!”

Peter gave him a look, lips pressed together. “I...no. Bye, Flash. Stay mad,” he commented, grabbing Tony’s hand and pulling him away.

Tony just wrapped a gentle arm around him, leaning in close as they walked away. “Cmon, ignore everyone else. We’re here to have some fun, right? Let’s dance.” He grinned, pulling Peter out onto the floor.

Everyone already knew that they were there. Why try to hide? They were going to have fun and everyone was going to know it.

Tony grabbed Peter’s hands, doing an odd little dance with him to whatever the song was. He couldn’t recognize it, he just knew that it had a fairly danceable beat.

Relief flooded him when Peter started to relax. His eyes no longer darted around at the stares and whispers and instead he was focused on Tony.

They danced, probably looking completely silly as they wiggled and spun each other to the music. But Peter was enjoying himself. And that was all that mattered to Tony.

As the song faded out and another one started playing in, Peter laughed, the sound clear despite the loud background.

Nothing else mattered. All that mattered was their little bubble of perfection. He and Peter. No one else.

The young man’s hair was tousled, curls loose since he had decided not to gel them down. He looked like an angel, soft and happier than Tony had ever seen him. As happy as he deserved to be all the time.

Peter deserved perfection and nothing else. Tony was just glad that he could contribute.

Then a slower song started and Peter awkwardly pulled away. “We can...sit this one out. It might be weird if we did this one. Just friends and all....” he didn’t look at Tony, eyes on the floor.

The older man watched him, slowly holding his hand out. “Peter, we can do this if you want to.”

The young man’s silence, but hopeful look towards the hand told him all that he needed to know.

“Will you dance with me, Peter?”

God, Peter’s heart was beating way too fast. But he was going to dance with Mr. Stark. And not how they had been before- this was intimate. Close. Something for- for lovers. Not friends, like they were.

But something in him desperately wanted it to mean more.

So he slowly looked up again, taking his hand and allowing himself to be brought close.

Tony smiled at him, expression soft and loving and definitely going to give him away. But he found that he really didn’t care. Not anymore.

He held Peter against his chest gently, swaying to the delicate crooning of the lyrics of whatever song was playing. He didn’t care what it was. All he cared about was Peter.

It was all about Peter.

The young man looked up at him, cheeks flushed lightly. He looked so beautiful. And happy. Everything he deserved.

“Mr. Stark....” he said quietly, heartbeat picking up.

“Please, call me Tony. It makes me feel incredibly wrong if you keep calling me Mr. Stark,” he murmured, still holding onto him and watching him.

“What do you mean? Wrong?” Peter asked, confused.

Tony sighed softly. “God, Peter. I shouldn’t tell you this. I shouldn’t be- okay. Okay. I can do this.”

The younger man could hear how his heart started racing.

“You’re...perfect. In every way. And doing this with you was a bit selfish on my part,” Tony started. “I know I just wanted to make sure you could come here and have fun. But being like this with you? I like it. Too much.” He started to let go, but Peter didn’t let him.

“Tony,” Peter said softly, beaming up at him. “Oh, I’m so glad I’m not alone.”

Tony wasn’t sure how to take that. Was it about the dance? Or what?

But he didn’t get much time to ponder it before Peter was leaning in and kissing him.

Oh.

The kiss wouldn’t have been anything special, it was little more than a peck in reality. But the fact that it was with Peter. His Peter. That made it special.

They broke apart only seconds later, both smiling big before leaning in for a second kiss.

“I love you,” Peter whispered, tucking his face into Tony’s neck.

Tony smiled to himself, swaying to the song again as he kept holding Peter. His Peter. “I love you too.”

And everything was perfect.

#bri speaks #starker #peter parker #tony stark #tony x peter #peter parker x tony stark #my writing #starkerfestivalsevents #starker fic #starker fluff

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erin-bo-berin · 5 years

Text

And Baby Makes Three

MASTERLIST

Happy Valentine’s Day! To celebrate, I’m bringing some more fluff, but specifically daddy Spencer. This was requested by @one-sweet-gubler. I had so much fun writing this one and got a bit carried away as I ended writing about the whole pregnancy instead of just the labor part, so it may be a little long. I hope you enjoy all the Daddy Spencer feels. :)

Spencer Reid/Reader

Rating: G (fluff)

Word Count: 4,278

Spencer was over the moon when you finally fell pregnant.

The two of you had been trying for a baby for a year, with many difficulties. After a plethora of negative tests and even a false positive, you were over the moon when you found out this positive test was the real thing.

You’d taken 6 tests to be sure.

After a visit to the doctor confirmed it, you were determined to make the surprise something special for Spencer.

He had been dreaming about having kids almost all of his life. He was so good with children and the children he encountered at his job, an FBI profiler for the Behavioral Analysis Unit. It was usually scary situations when he encountered kids , but he was always there with soothing words and gentle hugs.

You, with the help of his work family, surprised him at work one day. You were so close to his teammates yourself, you knew you wanted them to be a part of the surprise as well.

You showed up at the BAU under the pretense that he’d forgotten something at home.

The team had just gathered around the round table to brief about a new case when you walked in. Of course, Spencer was the only one truly surprised one to see you.

You’d apologized for interrupting and said that he’d left something at home that you needed to bring to him. You held up a paper bag, which only confused him, knowing he’d been sure to grab his lunch.

Everyone had watched in anticipation when he pulled a gift box out of the bag.

He’d opened it to a white onesie that when unfolded said Hi Daddy, I can’t wait to meet you. Underneath it was the first ultrasound picture of tiny baby Reid.

He was so shocked that at first he didn’t know what to do. His gaze moved around all the smiling faces at the table, then landed on you, his face breaking into a huge smile.

“Really?” he asked.

“Really.” Your own smile was as big as his.

He’d rushed towards you, hugging you tight and spinning you around in his excitement before the entire team surrounded you both giving hugs and their congratulations.

You were officially going to be parents.

•

Pregnancy wasn’t exactly a breeze for you, yet it wasn’t as bad as some women’s.

The first trimester was filled with lots of nausea, vomiting and exhaustion.

Spencer assured you that it would normally pass by the end of the first trimester. Thankfully it did, but until that point you felt like you lived off of crackers and ginger ale.

He was always the sweetest with you, making sure your supply of both never ran out. When he was home on cases, he’d cuddle with you on the couch letting you have pick of whatever show you wanted to watch—which of course you’d let him end up picking, no matter what. You would lay with your head in his lap and he’d mindlessly play with your hair. Those were some of the best days of your early pregnancy.

By your second trimester, new symptoms arrived, as did the appearance of baby Reid. By 15 weeks, you’d started to show just enough to look pregnant and not actually bloated.

Spencer would always rub the tiny bump and talk to the baby, things that made your heart soar. It was little gestures like that that made you fall more in love with him each day.

Not only had your belly grown, but so had your appetite. You had started craving things with a vengeance, something that would often mix horribly with your unbalanced pregnancy emotions. It would be like the two wires would accidentally cross in your pregnancy brain, leading to a meltdown.

One night you’d been craving avocados so badly, you’d gone downstairs to eat the last one that you’d been saving. You found it gone, not even remembering you had already eaten it.

Spencer found you on the kitchen floor sobbing over the fact there were no avocados. He’d ended up running to the store at 9 o’clock at night to buy at least two dozen of them. You’d felt so bad afterwards, but he’d only kissed you and assured you that it was only the pregnancy hormones.

“You’re growing a little human, you’re allowed to be a little crazy sometimes,” he comforted you.

Besides the mood swings, cravings and even heartburn, you were most surprised at the changes in your libido.

You could attest that your sex life with Spencer had never been more steamy than it was then; you were sure he could agree.

20 weeks came and you’d both agreed to find out the sex.

Instead of finding out at the doctor’s, the team had gotten together to throw a gender reveal party—mainly Penelope Garcia’s idea as she was stoked to have another BAU baby around, so who could refuse her?

Obviously it was a small get together with just the BAU team, Spencer and yourself. JJ had been in charge of getting the results, Garcia had baked the cake with the color reveal in it and of course Rossi had supplied his house as the location, as per usual.

You and Spencer both cut into the cake simultaneously and pulled out the first piece, revealing a pink hued cake.

You were thrilled, but you think it was safe to say that Spencer was ecstatic.

•

Baby names were tough.

You’d yet to start talking about names because Spencer wanted to wait until you’d found out the sex before picking a name.

“I want it to be special,” he whined a little, his bottom lip jutting out, “She deserves a good name.”

“I’m still not naming my child Aphrodite, Spencer.”

You had left it to him to research a name; he was so passionate about it, you couldn’t say no. After all, you wanted him involved in every way possible since he couldn’t technically carry the baby.

“Aphrodite was the goddess of love and beauty,” Spencer retorted, still flipping through books.

He was on the floor surrounded by text books, baby name books, pregnancy guide books, you couldn’t even figure out what else. He’d always been a big reader, but he made sure thus far to have as much knowledge as he could on pregnancy, childbirth and parenting.

“After all, her mommy is a goddess,” he smirked as he flipped a page.

“Why Spencer Reid, that was actually quite smooth of you.”

You ruffled his hair before leaning down and kissing him on the lips. His hands cupped your belly and he gave it a kiss too.

“Well she wouldn’t exist if I wasn’t.”

You laughed and playfully shoved him, leaving him to his reading.

•

Around 22 weeks, you felt her first movements. At first it felt like a small gurgle from your stomach and you’d stopped what you were doing, waiting to see if you’d feel it again.

When the sensation happened, it was like the soft wings of a butterfly brushing the inside of your belly. You’d ran to Spencer, thrilled that you’d finally felt her move. He pouted when he realized it wasn’t yet strong enough for him to feel from the outside.

“Keep on growing, little one,” he’d whispered to your belly, “Daddy wants to feel your kicks too.”

When she started kicking, she kicked hard.

Spencer’s reaction to feeling her kick for the first time was amazing. You could see all the love in his eyes for the little baby girl you’d both created, growing and getting stronger every day.

“I feel you baby girl,” he smiled at your belly, rubbing the spot she’d just kicked, kissing it gently.

Then he took your face in his hands and kissed you so lovingly it left you breathless.

“Thank you for being amazing,” he’d murmured against your lips before kissing you again.

•

5 months had become 6 months. Six nearly had nearly become seven.

You were almost 7 months and at your third trimester and you still hadn’t picked a name for baby girl.

Although one day, it just seemed to click into place.

“I got it!” he’d declared, looking up from a baby book.

“Okay, let’s hear it,” you said, intrigued.

“How about Arabella? It’s a Dutch name for beautiful.”

“Arabella,” you let the name roll off your tongue and you smiled, “It’s perfect for her. Now what about a middle name?”

He was already flipping through pages again, reading fast as lightning.

“I haven’t gotten that far. I’ve only gotten the first name down.”

You chuckled, “At this rate we might name her by the time she graduates from high school.”

He didn’t reply, his tongue poking out of the corner of his mouth as he concentrated. It was then that a thought occurred to you, or rather a name.

“How about Joy?”

“Hmm?” he asked, still distracted by the text.

“Joy. For her middle name. Because we’re so overjoyed about her.”

He looked up, thinking.

“Arabella Joy Reid,” he said, trying it out, then looking back at you.

“It’s perfect.”

•

The final trimester was the real challenge.

Your body was swollen and sore, you felt huge and you were constantly exhausted. Spencer was the best at spoiling you and Arabella though. Between the cute baby things he bought—one being an onesie that said Daddy’s Little Genius—he would fix meals when he was home, run a bath for you and cuddle you afterwards.

You would often make remarks about how big you felt but he would immediately squash your insecurities saying you looked even more beautiful while pregnant.

When he left for work or for a case, he’d always make sure to kiss your bump as well as kissing you before he left, his way of saying goodbye to his girls.

As the time crept closer to her being born, his excitement grew. He couldn’t wait for your family to expand. It was so endearing to see him so happy and excited. You knew he didn’t get to have the same experience as you did currently, so you understood that he was more than eager to have her here and bond with her.

He was going to make an amazing dad.

As much as you wanted to meet your little bundle of joy, the impending approach of labor made you nervous. Obviously being a first time mom, you only knew what you’d heard and read, not what the actual experience would be like.

“Some studies have said that childbirth actually hurts more than broken bones,” Spencer had told you.

“Not helping!” you groaned.

He winced, quickly realizing his mistake.

“Well at least there’s medication now for labor pains unlike in old days when they used to—”

You stopped him in the middle of his sentence.

“Please don’t finish that sentence,” you said, “You better believe the moment I can get an epidural, I’m going to get it.”

“Whatever you’re most comfortable with is fine by me.”

He squeezed your hand, showing you that you truly did have his support. He hated to see you in pain and he knew labor was going to be strenuous, but you knew he’d be there with you every step of the way.

“Just think in two weeks we’re going to be able to finally meet her,” Spencer beamed, stroking your stomach where one of her feet had just pushed hard enough to show an imprint through your belly.

“It’s about time you carried her for once,” you teased, resting your head on his shoulder.

“Oh believe me, you’ll have to fight me before I give up holding her.”

You had zero doubts about that.

•

Your due date was right around the corner when Spencer had to fly to Colorado for a case.

“You’re sure you’ll call me if anything happens, right?” Spencer asked for the third time.

“Spence, I’m sure,” you answered, “Besides my due date isn’t for 5 more days and my doctor said there’s a chance she might be a tad bit overdue.”

“Tell her daddy says to stay in there until I get back.”

“I will. But keep in mind, she’s as stubborn as you are.”

“Hey!” he exclaimed, feigning offense.

You laughed, “Go save a life. I’ll call you later. Love you.”

After you’d said your goodbyes, you resumed the cleaning you’d needed to finish up before baby got here.

You’d successfully washed and put away all her clothes, washed all the bottles and stored them in the cabinet along with the canisters of formula and set up her changing table with wipes and diapers.

Your hospital bag had been packed weeks ago and sat next to the door.

Now you just finished small things like washing dishes, folding laundry and vacuuming. Sweeping was definitely not an option since you couldn’t bend down for the dustpan. Oh, how you missed being able to bend down like a normal person.

It was around one in the afternoon when you decided to lay down because you had become exhausted and your back had begun to ache.

With a quick text to Spencer, you let him know you were napping in case you didn’t answer and he reminded you Garcia was on speed dial if you needed anything.

You fell into a restless sleep, waking about an hour later drenched in sweat, the ache now have migrated to the front of your body. You sat up to retrieve your phone so you could time the contractions, just to ensure they weren’t Braxton Hicks. That’s when you felt a gush of liquid between your legs, soaking your pants and the bed sheets.

Your thumb immediately hit the 1 on screen, dialing Penelope Garcia.

•

Spencer was standing in front of the geo map he’d been working on, studying it when his phone rang. He reached into his pocket, seeing it was Garcia and none the wiser thought she would be reporting more info on the current case.

“Hey Garcia.”

“Don’t freak out.”

His brows crinkled.

“Why? What’s wrong?”

“Y/N’s in labor.”

“What?!” His answer was so loud, it startled some officers nearby, “She’s not due for at least a week more!”

“Don’t tell me, tell your offspring,” Penelope retorted, “Cause she’s on her way.”

“Has her water broke? Are they sure it’s not just false labor?”

“Half an hour ago, they’re checking her now. I’m staying here until you get here obviously, but I’d hurry cause I feel like she’s gonna want you here to wring your neck when labor really starts.”

“Okay, I’ll catch the first flight I can and call you back when I get the flight info.”

He said a quick goodbye and rushed to Emily.

“Y/N’s gone into labor and I need to get the next flight out,” he told her, simultaneously looking up flight information out of Colorado on his phone.

“Spence.”

He was too busy searching to catch the worried tone in her voice. It wasn’t until he saw the numerous amounts of cancelled next to all flights that he looked up at her.

“Normally, I’d say go ahead and go. But I don’t think you’re going to get a flight anywhere in this weather.” She pointed to the window behind him.

He turned to see it snowing so hard he couldn’t see anything else but white.

“All flights have been grounded until the storm is over. We’re stuck here.”

“No,” Spencer muttered, starting to panic.

He paced back and forth, his frustration mounting. In one motion he swiped all of the papers off the desk in his irritation, his frustration and anger at the situation bubbling to the surface.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he muttered, sinking down in the chair at the table, his hands covering his face.

His hands pushed through his hair in exasperation, his curls falling back into place moments later.

He wasn’t going to make it there in time. He was going to miss it all.

The love of his life and the mother of his child was going to have to go through labor without him.

•

“What do you mean you’re not going to make it?!” Penelope shrieked.

“All flights are grounded for the next 48 hours until this damn snow storm is over,” Spencer said.

“And there’s no way you can make it back?”

“I’ve tried everything,” he said, sounding resigned.

“What am I supposed to tell her?”

“The truth. Garcia, you’re going to have to stay with her.”

“Me? I don’t know nothin’ ‘bout birthin’ no babies!”

“Garcia this is no time to be quoting Gone With The Wind!” Spencer exclaimed, exasperated.

“Sorry, it’s just, Spencer I don’t know what to do and she wants you!”

“Just be there, hold her hand, give her ice chips, encourage her. I’m not letting her be alone. Garcia, please,” he practically begged.

“Alright, alright. I’ll keep you updated. Garcia tech-analyst-turned-midwife out.”

You were laying in bed, covered in sweat from just making it through another contraction.

At your last check, you were only 4 centimeters dilated. You still had one more to go before you could get the epidural.

“This suuuuucks,” you moaned.

Your contractions were still at least 5 minutes apart, signaling you were still in the last stages of early labor, if not in early stages of active. All of that to mean the pain medication wasn’t coming until they got stronger and more frequent.

“And they said these are only the mild ones,” you groaned, looking over at Garcia who was grabbing your cup of ice.

She gave you another spoonful and put the cup back.

“You’re doing great though and the doctor said the epidural will help with most of the real intense contractions.”

“Maybe it’s a good thing Spencer isn’t here right now cause I feel like I could kill him,” you muttered.

You were devastated when Penelope told you he was stuck in Colorado. You hated that he was going to miss Arabella’s birth and you needed him here. But at the moment, you were exhausted, sweaty, in pain and very angry that Spencer had gotten you pregnant.

Of course, that was just the pain talking.

“I’m so sorry you got stuck with me,” you later panted, having worked your way through the previous contraction.

“Oh, sweetheart, no. I’m honored. You’ve been doing great,” she smiled, wiping your forehead, “Besides I’m thrilled to meet my goddaughter.”

You smiled weakly.

You were currently waiting for the anesthesiologist to set up the epidural. Your contractions had started amping up big time and were coming closer together. It had been several hours since you’d first been admitted to the hospital, the nightfall just outside your window indicating the late hour.

After being propped up against Penelope and neither of you looking at the needle that was inserted into your spine, the epidural was finally taking affect. The sweet sensation of numbness was a relief. You had gone from being in excruciating pain to feeling absolutely nothing and it allowed you to get some rest while your labor advanced.

A few cat naps later, Penelope had sent a selfie of the two of you to Spencer to let him know that you both were still alive and well; things were going smoothly.

You passed the time by watching tv, talking to Garcia and napping. It took hours for you to progress, but slowly, you did. It was nearing dawn the next morning when it was reported that you were 9 centimeters dilated. It was getting closer to time to meet yours and Spencer’s baby and you found yourself wishing again that he was here with you.

Things progressed fast and by 7 am you were pushing your baby girl out into the world. Penelope was holding your hand as you squeezed it, pushing with all your strength.

She, the nurses and the doctor kept hollering their encouragement as they told you to push and finally you heard the wonderful first cries of your baby.

You fell back against your pillow, exhausted, overwhelmed, but happy as she was placed on your chest. She was still covered in all the normal birthing elements, but she was beautiful, just like her name implied.

“Oh Y/N she’s beautiful,” Penelope gasped, in awe.

She’d followed the nurses when they’d taken Arabella to clean her off and measure her.

“Nice and healthy too. Almost nine pounds,” she smiled, “She’s going to be tall like her daddy.”

You smiled and watched as she took pictures of her to send to Spencer.

You reached your arms out and took her from the nurse once they’d swaddled her.

“Hello angel,” you whispered, “You just couldn’t wait until daddy got home, now could you?”

•

It had officially been almost an entire day since you’d had Arabella.

You’d just gotten her to sleep when you heard a commotion just outside of your hospital room. You heard a mixture of voices, but your heart leaped when you heard your boyfriend’s in the mix.

Footsteps got closer and you looked up as Spencer practically bounded in, a huge smile on his face. He dropped his go bag and satchel on the floor next to the door and walked over to your side.

“There’s my angel,” he said.

“Which one? Her or me?” you teased.

“Both of you.”

Spencer smiled running a hand over your still mess of hair and kissed your forehead.

“Look at her. You did amazing, Y/N.”

“Well you did kind of help,” you smirked.

“Okay, we did amazing.”

“Yes, we did,” you agreed, handing her to Spencer.

“Hi beautiful,” he crooned, stroking her cheek with his finger, “Daddy’s been waiting a long time to meet you.”

He sat in the chair beside you and snuggled her close. Arabella stretched a little in her sleep, opening her eyes when she heard his voice.

“Someone recognizes daddy’s voice,” you smiled.

“Well hello there Arabella. I heard you had quite the dramatic entrance.”

She cooed, eyes never leaving his face.

You watched the two of them, especially Spencer. He was so in love with her and you were so in love with him.

She yawned and gripped onto his finger.

“How are you feeling?” he asked, looking up at you now that she was contently cuddled in his arms.

“Tired and sore,” you chuckled, “But she was definitely worth it.”

“I’ll say, I mean look how cute our baby is.”

Spencer held one of her feet that had come out of the swaddle.

“Look at those tiny feet,” he baby-talked to Arabella, before kissing the bottom of it.

She pulled her foot away, beginning to get fussy.

“What’s the matter, Princess?” he frowned, covering her foot back up with the blanket.

“She’s tired and probably hungry. She’d barely gone to sleep before you got here.”

His eyes lit up.

“Can I feed her?”

“Go ahead,” you smiled.

You rang for the nurse and while she fetched a bottle, Arabella began to cry.

“I know, I know,” Spencer pouted, rocking her slightly, “A bottle’s coming, baby girl.”

The nurse returned with the bottle and Spencer took it, placing it gently in Arabella’s mouth. She started sucking greedily, her cries vanished.

You watched them with sleepy eyes, a smile on your face. Spencer looked up, noticing you drifting off.

“Hey, why don’t you rest and take a nap? I’ve got this.”

“You sure?”

He leaned over, kissing you gently.

“Yes, I’m sure,” he looked down at Arabella, “Tell mommy we got this.”

She made small grunting noises as she ate and he chuckled.

“See? We’re good on our own.”

You didn’t argue. You knew you’d need your rest and better take it when you had the chance. You’d began drifting off when you heard Spencer’s words to Arabella.

“I love your mommy so much. Besides you, she’s the best thing to ever happen to me.”

•

Spencer watched his daughter eat all of her bottle while he talked to her. She seemed to listen too, watching him the entire time.

“Just wait until auntie JJ meets you,” he said, “She might ever want to give you back. She’s never had a baby girl.”

He told her all about the rest of his teammates, talked to her about how he waited so long to meet her, he even told her how he and Y/N had met. He set the bottle aside when she was finished, laying her against his chest and on his shoulder to burp her, like he’d read about.

When she was settled, he laid her against his chest, rocking her just a bit. It wasn’t long until he fell asleep along with her.

He wasn’t sure how long he’d been asleep when a nurse had woken him.

“I’m sorry Dr. Reid,” she apologized, “I was just making rounds and was checking in on the baby. Do you want me to take her and put her back in the bassinet to sleep?”

“No, I think I want to hold her a little while longer.”

She smiled and nodded before she left the room. He looked down to Arabella sleeping peacefully on his chest.

His mind couldn’t wrap around the fact that this tiny, perfect little human was his. He was filled with such love for her and Y/N.

He kissed her head gently.

“Not even a day old and you have me wrapped around your little finger.”

He got comfortable in the chair once again, falling back asleep with her in his arms.

Despite all the bad things he saw in his day to day work, good moments like this truly outweighed all the bad.

Tag List: @dreatine @reid-187 @groovyreid @reidslibra @suvikamahes98blr @fuckthealarm @whatspunispun @iamburdened @cindywayne @thomasfoockinshelby @tinyminy88 @theitcaramelchick @missprettyboy @hushlilbabydoll @sammy-jo1977 @theonlyone-meeeee @haileymorelikestupid

#spencer reid #dr spencer reid #spencer reid gifs #Spencer Reid fic #spencer reid smut #spencer reid fluff #dr spencer reid fic #dr spencer reid gifs #dr spencer reid smut #dr spencer reid fluff #Criminal Minds #criminal minds gifs #criminal minds fic #criminal minds smut #criminal minds fluff #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you

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bindi-the-skunk · 3 years

Text

Night is day and day is night In a world that's lost its mind! chapter eight END

This was...concerning, to say the least.

Nothing had been done the past couple of months, everyone was saying it was because of the cameras that had been put up were causing whoever did those horrible things to think twice, but Henry and Robert were not so sure getting rid of someone like this was that easy.

Someone was biding their time no doubt, being eight months pregnant did not lend itself to much coordination, and being so close to birth did not lend itself to much calm thought either, but both hoped whoever it was would just get bored and leave them all alone.

sigh

"Are you alright?" Robert asked, concerned at the other's frown and exhale, depression was not uncommon in pregnancy and his mate was already prone to it...

"Fine, it's just dark and rainy and it makes all this nonsense all the more gloomy for us all" Henry admitted, well he was no stranger to the rain, nor did he paticuarly hate it, but that did not mean he liked having it on top of the other things going on in their lives.

"Rachel is making everyone chili, that should help" Robert smiled, already eager for a bowl of the comfort dish and sure the omega would want something hot to fill his belly.

"Is it spicy?" Henry asked

"She did say it would be sort of hot" Robert admitted "You should not worry, it won't induce you"

"Perhaps, but I would much rather not get any heartburn from it," the omega said, knowing spiced foods were not a sure-fire way to go into labor, but they were a sure fire way to indigestion and that was something he would rather avoid, rolling about in his nest feeling like he wanted to vomit did not sound like a fun evening.

"Well, I can get something else..." Robert started only to be cut off by a kiss to the cheek.

"That's alright, I'm not even hungry right now, enjoy a meal with the others and I'm going to sleep a bit more, perhaps the storm will be over when I wake up" Henry smiled, knowing Robert had to be a little cooped up in the nest, he was in it all the time now ever since he was checked out of the hospital and the nest proved to be a good place for his still-healing body.

Robert nodded, sure his mate wanted some alone time to stretch out and relax, leaving the room, locking the door behind him so Henry could sleep with no disturbances, and headed downstairs. --- Mmm...something smells good...

Henry's eyes cracked open to find to his disappointment, the storm had not stopped, if anything it had gotten worse, but he did smell something nice, climbing out of the nest and opening the door the omega found a blueberry muffin, aw, Robert or Rachel must have left it there for him, wonder where his alpha was anyway? Perhaps he had some work to do or one of the lodgers dragged him off to show him something.

Picking up the treat, Henry headed back inside to sit at his desk so he could eat it properly, no need to get crumbs in his nest, that would not be fun to clean up later on, and the chemist was not in the mood to drag around the vacuum.

Taking a bite he could not help but note it was a bit weird tasting but guessed a little too much salt or something was added, the muffin was still good and it would be horrible to waste it after so much trouble.

He just hoped Robert got back soon...

---

"How on earth did you not know it would explode!?" Robert scolded as he bandaged Sinnett's hand after one of his machines backfired on him suddenly when he was showing off to the alpha what he wanted to display at the next science show.

"I thought I checked everyth-wait a minute...one of the dials has been taken off no wonder it shot off!" Sinnett pointed with his good hand to see that, yes indeed, one of the dials had been taken off and was laying on the floor.

"Who would have done-HENRY!" Robert jumped to his feet and darted from the room, bolting up the stairs two at a time, mister Sinnett somehow keeping up at his heels.

"Doctor Jekyll is upstairs, and he wouldn't have done this anywa-" Sinnett scoffed, thinking the alpha had suddenly gone daft to think his pregnant mate would ever intentionally sabo-

"I mean someone messed with your machine as a DISTRACTION!" Robert nearly screeched, heart pounding as he raced for his lover's office.

"WHAT!?" ---

Of all things to give him a stomach ache it had to be a muffin!

Pacing the room the omega was trying to ignore his hurting gut, now getting a little worried, it seemed like it was getting worse...perhaps it was just stress? Or bad bluebe-oh, that was problematic...his water broke.

He needed to go to the hospital NOW...where was his coat? He would need to calmly inform the lodgers...no need for them to panic...

'you're not due yet! Kid needs to bake another month!' Hyde seemed to complain, but Henry could hear that hint of fear in his voice, he was just as concerned as his split half, and catching a glimpse of him in the mirror, he could see his eyes did look a little softer.

"It will be alright, just calm down...I'll go find Robert or one of the lodgers and they can find him and we can go," Henry said to the mirror, fearing if he tried to mentally talk it would come out messed up and they were alone so it's not like he needed to.

Stepping towards the door a jolt of pain went down the omega's spine sending him to his knees.

This was not right...it hurt...it was too ...it was going too fast...but he didn't feel...this was not normal...the room was spinning

The door opened and he just saw a pair of blue socks coming towards him...

And everything went black --- Robert ran to Henry's side, quickly taking note of how scarily still he was and the fact his eyelids were fluttering oddly, seizure...waters broken...no visible head injury...

"Sinnett! Call an ambulance! Tell them we have an omega in labor who has entered a seizure by an unknown substance!" Robert ordered, the mate in him wanted to cry and attempt to get his love back in his right head as fast as possible, but the doctor knew seizures did not work that way, he did not know what caused it and labor and birth were out of his line of knowledge.

Forcing his instincts down he gently started to rub at the other man's back and held the omega's hand in the other "Henry? Can you hear me? I know you and Edward have to be really scared right now, but Sinnett went to get you help, you are going to be just fine and so will Edward and the baby"

A groan was his response, not comforting.

"Hang on..." Robert whispered as all he could really do at this point was wait...and pray... --- "Thirty-five-year-old omega, thirty-seven weeks pregnant, membranes ruptured and suffered a seizure from an unknown reason" the paramedic relayed as she helped wheel in said omega who was only partially conscious having woken up in the ambulance, only to scream in pain, too out of it and whatever drugs he was given most likely making the pain a lot worse to bother with any form of control.

Robert ran alongside the gurney, being more concerned with the fact Henry was back to being quiet, the screaming at least let the alpha know he was coherent enough to feel pain and react accordingly to the unpleasant feeling.

"Prepping for an emergency C-section!" came another call.

Those clinical words made a cold chill go down Roberts's spine.

C-section? As in, cut open? Like a dead fish!? It made sense though...the doctor in him monotonely said there would be no way his mate would be able to push, whatever he had been given had weakened him badly and caused a SEIZURE, Robert would be lucky if Henry made it out alive! If their baby was alive after being drugged...

The alpha fell to his knees in the hallway, feeling both cold and hot at the same time, why would someone...who could do this...why...

"Mr.Lanyon?" A soft voice went and the alpha looked up to see a blond nurse looking down at him "Why don't you go and get some air? I'm sure your mate and baby will be okay" she smiled softly, green eyes showing empathy and kindness, she looked sort of like how he thought a female Hyde would look in all honesty, though the sweet look was something he was sure would never grace the gremlin's face, it might never grace Henry's face again...

The nurse helped Robert to his feet and helped him walk to the doors and even found him a bench to sit on, offering a cup of coffee before she turned on a heel and dashed back inside the building, leaving the alpha with his thoughts.

The night was still warm, not yet turning cold with the coming winter, the bench was still wet from the earlier rain, but Robert found he could not care less about his trousers, who would benif-wait a minute...

His father...

Was that old windbag really capable of something like this? his family went after people who did things like this! But his father was stuck in his ways...thought he knew best all the time...if he thought Henry was in the way of a goal...he would do it, in a heartbeat.

Robert was going to KILL him, quite literally...

The monster that Robert wanted to break away from stirred inside him as he thought back on how pale his mate had been...how trying to encourage their baby to kick well they waited for the ambulance had proven fruitless...if both of them ...no...don't think like that yet...

He would bid his time if ...when...Henry was out of the woods and they would celebrate or mourn together, then the alpha would sharpen a few knives, perhaps this could be Henry's first kill...wouldn't that be poetic justice? Oh, he knew just the thing to use... --- "You can go in now" the nurse smiled as she watched the alpha attempt to look dignified well carrying a smiley face balloon.

Robert walked as straight and tall as he could into the hospital room, biting back the urge to jump for joy when he saw Henry's eyes were open and the omega managed to smile weakly at him.

"Hey," Robert said softly, stepping forward so he could gently run his fingers through the other's soft brown locks, loving how the strands curled between his fingers as if they did not want to let go.

"W..where is the baby?" Henry croaked, still feeling horrible, and stomach throbbing slightly no doubt from the new cut in it, but...perhaps some good came out of this...just a little hope...was their child alive? Or had it been killed from the-

"Don't you mean 'babies'?" Robert smiled, having hardly believed the news himself, but excited to blurt it out to anyone who would listen and was sure he annoyed a few people in doing so, especially after learning his mate would recover on top of it.

Henry almost felt like fainting again hearing that but found himself grinning loopily, no doubt a side effect of the medication meant to keep him from ripping his stitches going to search himself for the new little ones "Two for the price of one"

'Price of one my ass! We went through hell and got our shit wrecked!' Edward whined, feeling the effects of the medicine himself and also just wanting to see his new little monster! Give them their babies already!!!

"I have a great big surprise for you when you and our children can go home...or at least back to the society, I do believe everyone pitched in to build cribs...and a stroller...and slings...we are going to be up to our elbows in baby-related inventions aren't we?" Robert nearly winced, no doubt several 'improvements" will have been made to normal baby things...

"No doubt, what is the surprise?" Henry asked curiously.

"Oh, it will be a SCREAM" Robert grinned, already having asked one of the lodgers to make a few...adjustments to Henry's cane.

Would anyone want a sequel to this? Or do you guys have ideas for something?

#TGS #tgs jekyll #Tgs Hyde #Robert Lanyon X Henry Jekyll #Jekyon #Mpreg #male pregnancy #the glass scientists #glass scientists #The glass scientists AU #TGS Serial!killer AU

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theivfdiaries · 3 years

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26 weeks

So tonight I felt like baby wasn’t kicking nearly as much as usual. He was kicking, just not nearly as much as usual especially after I had some fruit and some orange juice and they still didn’t pick up. It was 12:30am but I called my midwife’s after hours line and just asked what she thought I should do and she said to absolutely come into the hospital to get checked, because even if I was probably just paranoid and overthinking, it was always better to be safe than sorry.

So we ended up in the hospital at 1am, did a NST which showed up totally normal. Baby’s heart rate ranged between 120s and 160s, averaging in the 140s which is exactly normal for him. He hates heart monitors and ultrasounds, so the second they put the monitor on my stomach he started kicking it away, and then he was kicking and rolling around like crazy. Within a couple minutes I was very confident that nothing was wrong (my midwife was also showing me that with the NST they were able to track his movements, and I still wasn’t feeling a lot of the movements that were showing up which makes it clear that the reason I wasn’t feeling much movement before is that the position he’s in was making it so that I wasn’t feeling his smaller kicks) but of course we weren’t allowed to leave until they finished the test. So we had to leave it on for about 20 minutes which I felt so guilty about because baby was really unhappy.

Then, just suddenly while I was laying there, I started to have a horrible pain in my chest and my upper stomach. At first I thought it was my lungs, then my heart, then my stomach, and then I couldn’t even tell where it was coming from anymore because it was radiating so badly, even radiating up my shoulders. It felt like a knife was wedged in my diaphragm and like my lungs were wrapped in tight layers of saran wrap. My husband hit the call button and the nurse and my midwife came in, and then brought a doctor in, and they all tried to figure out what was going on. My vitals were all stable and the baby wasn’t in distress, so it was extremely confusing. At that point they speculated that it was some sort of indigestion/reflux/heartburn issue, and so the nurse brought me some sort of disgusting drink that was meant to settle reflux. The drink helped almost immediately so it became clear that that was the problem. I was totally shocked though, I had no idea how severe heartburn could be, and I am really hoping it doesn’t keep happening! They still wanted to do some bloodwork and an EKG on me to make sure it wasn’t a heart issue but I declined because at that point I was very confident it was just reflux and heartburn. It occurred to me that it was actually the same type of pain I experienced a few days earlier when I was up in the middle of the night from nausea and pain in my chest, but it was a hundred times more severe tonight which is why I didn’t realize initially that it was the same type of feeling.

Anyway, then they wanted to continue the NST for longer to make sure the baby was ok after my incident, but at this point baby had enough of that test and started kicking so powerfully that he actually successfully knocked the monitor off several times. The nurse had to keep coming back to reposition it, and he kept kicking her and squirming away and she couldn’t even find his heartbeat on it because he was so resistant. She just started laughing and said “you’ve got a tough kid, no one is going to pick on him!” which actually made me so happy and so proud of him, I honestly hope he is a really tough kid and that he can hold his own, stand up for himself, and doesn’t take crap from anyone!

A little while later the doctor came in to do an ultrasound and baby looked absolutely perfect. Although we did genetic testing during the IVF process (which is 99.9% accurate) we actually confirmed via ultrasound for the first time that he’s a boy. We also got to see his heart beating and got to see his chest and stomach contracting with little hiccups. We saw his hands and feet, and got a glimpse of his profile, but not a clear shot. He was so wiggly at that point that the doctor even had trouble getting measurements, but that was a good problem to have!

We were discharged and sent back home, getting home around 4am. My cat immediately jumped up onto the bed with me and started nuzzling my stomach and purring up against it, and baby kicked back at him. It was actually so precious. My cat is an emotional support animal and he always rushes to comfort anyone who is feeling stressed or anxious or upset in any way, so the fact that he could actually sense that baby was a little stressed (which he clearly was a bit stressed from having been prodded with the NST and ultrasound) was just so precious and amazing that he could do that for someone who isn’t even born yet. They are going to have such a special bond and I’m so grateful for that!

#ivf #pregnant #pregnancy #ivf pregnancy #rainbow baby #pregnancy after loss

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weltonreject · 4 years

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if someday the moon calls you

|| inspired by this post: years after leaving las vegas, theo’s only companion is the moon. he speaks to it as if it was Boris, his lost badr al-dine || ao3

It wasn’t a ritual, Theo told himself, so it wasn’t weird. It wasn’t obsessive or anything perverse like that. Theo just didn’t have anyone else to talk to on the long days that outlasted Theo’s patience, then left him in an anxious solitude while Hobie turned in early-- and Kitsey was out with her roommate. Instead of picking up the phone and attempting to reconcile the reality that there was no number for Theo to punch in, he just opened his bedroom window and sat along the ledge.

He lit a cigarette and kicked off his shoes, opening a beer for himself and then another for the other side of the window. For the other side of the conversation.

“Hey, Boris.” Theo said, cupping his lighter’s flame. “Work sucked today. Not as bad as last week but still fucking terrible-- I’ve got this fucking asshole after me over a goddamn armoire. Listen man, it’s not my fault you fucking spent your retirement on a place to put your moth-eaten suit jackets. That’s on you.”

Theo coughed on his first inhale, laughing for himself. For them both.

“I’m sure it’ll all blow over soon. It’s a hassle more than anything. It’s so hard to get anything done when he’s always calling me in the shop-- Oh! Speaking of the shop-- you’ll get a kick out of this, Boris.”

The moon was full that night. All the stars accounted for, present and listening.

“This Polish couple came in today looking at some chairs. Kind of sweet, right? Old and married for probably their entire lives.” Theo wasn’t sure when he found such a thing endearing. When he was talking to anyone else, the thought terrified him. “And they’re speaking to each other in Polish, of course. And fuck if I remember anything you taught me now. I missed all of their sentences and what they were actually looking for-- they never told me! It’s not entirely my fault as a shit salesman-- but I did catch what this lady called her husband. It was, uh, it was that cookie thing you kept telling me about when we were cross faded and 'stuck' in your blankets for six hours... Fuck, uh, chrusciki. Is that how you say it?”

Theo paused, trying to remember the woman’s voice. It only came back to him as a very energetic and hungry teenage boy.

Theo took a long swig of his beer, not fully exhaling his cigarette drag. His chest itched, but he kept swallowing and pretending it was simply heartburn.

“And, well, semi-related to that: I had lunch with Kitsey today.” Theo paused again, biting the inside of his cheek. “The engagement party is next week. Yeah... can’t believe it either. I don’t remember asking her-- still not sure I did.”

Theo laughed and wished someone else would too. It was a joke. The world could laugh-- it was funny. Only Theo could tangle himself up so badly even he forgot where the lie started.

“I miss you a lot lately."

That part had gotten both easier and more difficult to say as the months wore on. Easy because it was the only bit of truth left in Theo's life, but impossible to stomach on the days Theo knew admitting it meant nothing except squeezing an already bleeding wound.

"I mean, I miss you all the time but it’s weird, getting married that is. It isn’t until I see Kitsey getting all her girlfriends together for drinks and game nights and shopping days that I... I start to realize that I’m lonely. That what I feel every day is just... loneliness. That it’s disappointment. That I just... really miss you, Boris.”

The moon seemed perfectly aligned with the window pane. Theo shifted the other, full beer bottle to fit more evenly in the moonbeam over them.

“I hope you’re doing okay, Boris. Last time we talked, I guessed you were back in Europe-- Spain, I think I said, right? Well, I hope Barcelona was fun. That you didn’t do anything too stupid, had some really good food, and didn’t wind up in a prison where you don’t know the language.”

Theo smiled, imagining Boris-- in his fuzzy, undefined Adult Way Theo always conjured up-- wandering around during Golden Hour and waving to every person passing by. He always had a persimmon in his hand for some reason, chomping and chewing behind his smile. Theo had no idea how to correctly prepare a persimmon, but he always imagined that it was knowledge New Boris would have and use daily. Something he’d immediately share upon their reunion.

“I’m sure you had a great time, as always. Can’t wait to hear all about it. Next week you’re going to, uh,” Theo paused. “New Zealand, right? Yeah. Have fun going back Under! I’d ask you to keep a journal or something but. We both know your handwriting is illegible; you’d end up reading it to me anyway.”

Giving Boris a continuing life was comforting-- something to picture when he tried to sleep at night, Kitsey’s arm resting over his chest and trying to still his heart-- but part of Theo knew it was too polished. Theo wasn’t giving Boris the proper life, wasn’t accounting for everything he could be doing out... wherever he was. Theo never considered that talking to the moon was the equivalent of talking to a dead man.

And he never would.

“When you’re finished in New Zealand, if you want to be still for a little, um, I always have room here.” Theo inhaled sharply through his nose-- nearly sniffling. “Popper would love to see you... Me too. Maybe you could talk me out of this mess. Fuck, if Platt or Kitsey or even Ms. Barbour met you they might just call the whole thing off. Name you as my best man and watch them all start freaking out.”

Theo couldn’t laugh. He was too close to crying.

“The wedding’s going to be open bar. You should come. It’s next year, early spring. I already saved you, you know, saved you a seat at one of the tables. Tried to get you as close to the bar as possible-- without being too obvious of course. I know you like to have a little discretion and class. I plan on having neither of those things, let me tell you. God, Kitsey is going to hate me for it but: What can I do? I’m getting married.”

To a woman hung at the edge of Theo’s tongue, being pulled back in as he took another drag from his cigarette. He could hear Boris placating his cyclical panic in the rustling of the trees and quiet breeze: Is not big deal, Potter. Are two boys, yes but-- Potter, would you shut up! Is not bad thing. Keep to self and I keep to mine. All fine. No girlfriends, very normal-- yes?

Even in having a girlfriend, Theo still hadn’t found that particular normal. He only felt it loitering behind him.

“I wonder if you meant all that back then.” Theo put his half-empty beer in front of Boris’s, as if the bottles could stare at each other. “You never let me feel used, you know that? Sure, we were doing weird shit together, but it always had a rationale. It was fine because we didn’t have any girls around, we were happy drunk, I’d had a bad day and you knew how much I liked sleeping close to you-- it was always explainable... It was always okay. I mean, it wasn’t. We were fooling around which, obviously, is the wrong idea about us both but--”

The wind stopped and the night hushed for Theo. It leaned back and let the moon lean in to listen more closely. He looked up to meet its gaze.

“Why is it when I don’t need an excuse or explanation to be with someone that I feel the most used?” The answer was obvious in the silence-- the absence of the answer. “What am I supposed to do, Boris? I don’t think I ever planned this far.”

Everything was just a plan of waiting; waiting until Boris turned up in New York so the rest of Theo’s life could pick up where it had splintered. But the waiting turned into irreversible actions when Theo was at his most destructive.

“This is what I get, right? Running away to be a New Yorker again when I so obviously was a far better Vegas burnout. I mean, I learned from the best after all.”

God, Theo hoped Boris was as far away from that desert as possible. Had a house and a steady income and someone who listened to all his ranting and raving-- and sometimes even put up with it.

Although, sometimes, the thought of Boris being with anyone else made Theo sick. He at least knew his on-coming marriage was a sham. Boris didn’t know how to love people dishonestly; if Boris was with anyone, it was because he had opened his heart and life to them. Just the way he had to Theo-- before he turned around and shut Boris out.

Theo picked up his beer again, nearly finishing the rest of it in one gulp. If Theo had planned better-- at least in this area of his life-- it would’ve been something stronger. He wouldn’t have been speaking in complete sentences anymore. His slurred incoherence would’ve lent itself to a near-livable dream where Theo was no longer talking to himself; he could’ve been staring at the moon and pretending it wasn’t just another light over a bustling city, but instead the same one that hovered over the blankets of sands that tried to soak Theo up when he was too young to know that heat wasn’t always warmth.

“I think I’m going to turn in soon, Boris, I... I think I need to lay down.” The window was going to remain open, beer still on the ledge. “As always I really... really wish you were here.”

Theo placed his feet back on the floor.

“Please be alive. And please come back to me. Soon as you can, okay?”

The muted brightness of the moon remained unwavering, and low, distant rumbling held off on any clouds. The sky was clear, the stillness breathing through the silent pause.

“Okay. Good night, Boris.” Theo stubbed his cigarette out at the feet of the full beer bottle. The condensation surrounding it caused the cigarette butt to hiss as it extinguished. “Stay safe.”

Well, and of course:

“I love you.”

#the goldfinch fic #boreo #boreo fic #my fics #oh this one was fun to write #short but really fun to just play around with the idea #i really like some of these lines i'm really happy with it #i hope y'all like it ty ily #OH WAIT WHAT IF THIS WAS A DIARY SERIES??????? hold on #like theo never writes the journal or the novel just.... talks to the moon every day #flash inspo series

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kaesaaurelia · 4 years

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the old beelzebub bait and switch

For @whumptober2020 day 30: Now Where Did That Come From? (specifically "wound reveal" and "ignoring an injury")

Continues on from day six, wherein Aziraphale thought he had heartburn and then actually it was a fly, day thirteen, wherein it was a lot of flies, day fifteen, wherein Beelzebub may have possessed Aziraphale’s body, but Aziraphale is sneaky, day eighteen, wherein Crowley realizes something is very wrong, day twenty-two, wherein Beelzebub poisons Crowley, and day twenty-six, wherein Crowley crawls off and frantically googles how to get Beelzebub to leave.

This is the end of the possession fic; I’ll be posting it to AO3 hopefully this weekend!

Aziraphale/Crowley, with brief special guest star Michael!

"Crowley?" he heard Aziraphale ask, and a sudden, horrible thought occurred to him, that maybe it wasn't Aziraphale. Maybe Beelzebub had only pretended to leave. Could Beelzebub do that? Split some of herself off from the swarm? Or were the flies not that real?

"Crowley?" Aziraphale called, sounding more distraught now. Crowley wanted to go to him, but Crowley's head was still pounding, and he was afraid, and he was tired from all the miracles he'd had to do to maybe convince Beelzebub that she was needed Downstairs, so he curled up behind the misprint Bibles and postponed making a decision about how much he believed Aziraphale was himself again.

"Crowley? I'm very worried about you," said Aziraphale. "It's me again, she's gone. I'm so sorry you got wrapped up in this, but I'm going to have to ward the place against demons now, and I want to be sure I don't ward it against you, so..." Aziraphale's voice drew nearer slowly, and Crowley curled in on himself until one of the books slid off the shelf and he saw Aziraphale's face looking through the slot. "Oh, there you are, my dear. Are you all right?"

He seemed like himself, but... "Tell me ssomething sso I know it's you," said Crowley.

Aziraphale looked troubled. "Oh. Oh, that's a very good point. I don't know what to tell you," he sighed. "The -- the bit where she had me talk about those mafia fellows, I -- she had access to my memories, but she didn't know the rest of me was still there, she thought she'd got rid of me, so I could -- I could sneakily rearrange things, sort of. It's like when I have somebody come back a second time to try and buy something, I hide it two or three levels deep in 1980s fantasy paperbacks so they either buy one of those or are so put off by all those Xanth novels that they never come back to the shop at all! But... not quite like that, really, because even if my memories were irrelevant books they’d still be good ones." Aziraphale suddenly remembered what Crowley had asked of him, and frowned. "Oh... well, I suppose she could have told you all that too, I just... I don't know what to say, Crowley."

Crowley believed Beelzebub could have said all that, but he didn't think she would; she would have lost her patience, tried to summarize it all, and bollocksed it up because she probably knew even less about 1980s fantasy novels than Crowley himself. "That'sss all right, I believe you," he said, slithering out of the shelf and wincing as he returned to his other form. "Jussst..."

Crowley was about to gripe about how badly his head hurt -- and, now that he was human again, about how badly everything else hurt -- but the door to the shop opened and shut again, and Aziraphale and Crowley exchanged a look of panic, and almost as one hurried over to see who'd come in.

The panic wasn't unwarranted; it was the Archangel Michael. Crowley forced himself to stand up very straight and not look at all poisoned, and then that felt objectively wrong, because he'd never done it before, so he leaned against the wall casually. He tried to think of something extremely cool and scary to say.

Aziraphale beat him to speaking, if not to cool or scary. "What are you doing here?" he snapped. "There was to be no interference."

"That's true," she acknowledged, and for some reason she seemed a little worried by Aziraphale's presence anyway. "There... there hasn't been, has there?" she asked, pretending to sound concerned. No, she was concerned, Crowley realized; she was concerned that something she thought she knew was wrong.

Aziraphale huffed. "Well, as a matter of fact --"

"Angel, leave it to me, I know exactly what's happened," said Crowley, airily, hoping Michael would believe this and fuck off soon. "It's the old Beelzebub Bait and Switch, isn't it?"

"I beg your pardon?" Michael said, sharply.

"And I don't grant it," Crowley responded. Were his extremities going numb? They were. That wasn't good. Better hurry this up, then. "You came here because Beelzebub told you to, didn't she? Oh, she does this all the time with her enemies, I just bet she was excited to have a chance to do it to Heaven."

"What? Why would -- why would that have happened?" Michael asked. She was a good liar, for an angel. Crowley might have believed it.

"Because she wants us to take you out, or she wants you to take us out. Either way she wins. She told you she'd found a way to kill Aziraphale, didn't she? And that she'd weakened me and I'd be easy to take out." Michael's expression told him he was dead on, which was great, because going back to human shape had clearly accelerated whatever poison Beelzebub had dosed him with and he was having to sort of grip onto the wall to continue his casual lean. "Beelzebub does it all the time. Takess out at leasst one enemy, maybe two or three at once. No, we've been fine here, haven't we, angel?" he asked Aziraphale.

"Oh! Yes. Everything is completely fine," said Aziraphale, "and extremely normal." Crowley would have elbowed him if he could have done that without losing his balance. "In fact, I rather think you ought to leave," he said. "Now. Or else." He gave her an icy smile, as though she was a repeat customer about to try and walk out with his most prized possession.

Michael decided she'd better leave. "Right, yes, well, thank you for clearing that up," she said, quickly. "I. Yes. That. Thank you," she told Crowley, although it plainly left a bad taste in her mouth. She backed out of the shop, not turning her back on either of them, and when he was sure she was gone, Crowley collapsed.

"Crowley!" said Aziraphale, scooping him up. "What's wrong?" He carried Crowley over to the couch.

"Beelzebub -- ssomething in my tea," he said. "Wass gonna tell you, but then Michael --"

"Oh dear," said Aziraphale, putting a hand to Crowley's forehead. "This is going to be probably as unpleasant as sobering up, if not worse." And he pulled the poison out of Crowley's veins with a miracle.

For a moment Crowley's head felt like it was going to explode, and then... and then everything was fine.

Aziraphale grimaced. "Well, she certainly pulled out all the stops there. A rather potent mixture of insect poisons." He patted Crowley's cheek. "Why don't you rest up, and I'll--"

Crowley grabbed his wrist before he could walk away, and before Crowley could lose his nerve. "Wait!" he said, struggling to sit up. "Wait, Aziraphale, I -- what did you replace the mafia guys memory with? What did you tell her to have her be all..."

"Ah," said Aziraphale, blushing. "I. It was. Well. You... er."

"Because it seemed like she thought I saved you," Crowley said, "and I don't know why --"

"It was a ridiculous daydream I had," Aziraphale blurted, "where you swept in and saved me and, ah, and we. And we were." He wouldn't look Crowley in the eye. "Well, I, ah, I suppose that must have been very obvious. I do apologize if it made you... uncomfortable. I reached for the first thing I thought of; I wanted to be certain you knew something was wrong."

"Oh, angel," said Crowley, feeling very fond of Aziraphale. "You... before you called, I was going to -- it was going to be..." No, no, that was all wrong, that wasn't how he wanted to address this. "I know you love me," he said, and Aziraphale looked very guilty. "I don't know if you know that I love you?" Aziraphale finally looked at him, seeming rather startled by this. "And I -- before you called to cancel, I was going to see if -- if perhaps you wanted... to... to..." Oh no, he was out of nerve already. But the way Aziraphale was looking at him so hopefully... He got to his feet, and kissed Aziraphale, who responded very favorably, and pulled him closer.

When they drew apart, eventually, Aziraphale beamed up at him. "I do want to," he said, "very much so. Although perhaps, unfortunately, the ah, warding of the bookshop should take priority. Also getting rid of those wretched flies in the kitchen."

"Right, yeah," said Crowley, the slight disappointment of having to do that far outweighed by the euphoria of finally, finally clearing that one up. "I can handle the flies, angel. Sorry we had to cancel our plans for this nonsense, though."

"It's perfectly all right," said Aziraphale. "Now there's no way Michael and Beelzebub will ever trust each other, Michael's clearly still frightened of us, and if I am not mistaken, we have... new, more exciting plans for the evening?"

Crowley grinned. "Anything you like, angel.”

#whumptober2020 #no.30 #now where did that come from #ignoring an injury #wound reveal #good omens #aziraphale #anthony j crowley #ineffable husbands #fiction #kaesa op #text

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avasharpe · 4 years

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Sugar and Salt

Chapter: Eight of Ten

Summary: The Lance-Sharpe household and Sara’s belly is getting bigger. Ava and Gary make room for Sara, Sin, and the new baby and the rest of their family learns about their secret.

Fandom: DC’s Legends of Tomorrow.

Relationship: Sara Lance/Ava Sharpe and Amaya Jiwe/Zari Tomaz.

Characters: Sara Lance, Ava Sharpe, Sin Lance, Gary Green, Amaya Jiwe, Leonard Snart, Quentin Lance, Dinah Lance, Dot Heyward, Nate Heyward, Hank Heyward, and Kendra Saunders.

Chapter Rating: General Audiences.

Additional Tags: Bakery and Coffee Shop, Mutual Pining, Non-binary character, Trans Character, Fake Marriage, But Real Feelings, Food.

Read at AO3

Read at FFN

……………………………………………………………………

“Hey,” Ava said as she swung open the door to greet Sara and Sin. Sin gave her a wave before running off to find Gary and Sara let out of breath as she stepped past her into the house.

“We have got to tell the kids today,” Sara said, spinning around to look at her as Ava closed the door.

“What? I thought we agreed on next week. I know we’re into the second trimester now, but we just have one more week left of school and then we’re in the clear,” Ava said, crossing her arms as they stood in the hallway.

“Well, we’re going to have a hard time keeping this from them,” Sara said as she pulled up the black blouse that hung off her frame to reveal her baby belly, not a bump, a full belly, that rounded out from under her ribs.

“Your showing!” Ava instantly smiled as she walked up and put her hand on Sara’s belly.

“Yeah,” Sara said, breaking out into a smile as well. “I noticed that I was showing last week, but since then, they’ve just gotten bigger.”

“Yeah, that’s partly because it’s your second,” Ava said, still marveling at their baby.

“I never got this big until I was about fifteen weeks along with Sin. Hey, do you still have that bouillon chicken base from the soup you made last weekend?” Sara asked, turning away and already heading towards the kitchen.

“Yeah, it’s in the fridge,” Ava said, dutifully following her. “Well Gary was bigger than Sin so this one is bound to be bigger too, but hopefully not by much.”

“Ugh, don’t remind me. I can’t believe he was over nine pounds, I got so big with Sin and she was only seven pounds. I can’t imagine how big I’m going to get with this one, and there is no way I’m pushing out a nine pound baby.”

Sara opened the fridge and started rifling around as Ava smiled down at her belly. It was obviously there and was definitely noticeable as Sara had a flat stomach before.

Sara found the jar of bouillon and turned around to grab a spoon from the drawer. She spun off the top and sank down to sit on the floor up against the cabinets. Then she grabbed a large spoonful from the jar, stuck it into her mouth, and sighed in content. Ava made a face, not knowing how Sara could eat the salty chicken flavored seasoning, but also knew how crazy pregnancy cravings could be.

“How are you doing Sara?”

Sara sighed and looked up at her. “I’m pregnant.”

“I know,” Ava gave her a little smile and sat down next to her on the floor. “Anything else?”

“Well, I’m not throwing up anymore and now I eat everything in sight, but then I get heartburn. I’m getting big and I’m so hormonal. I bought a pair of compression socks because I’ve got Varicose veins,” Sara lamented as she swirled her spoon around the jar. “And I’m dizzy and I keep forgetting stuff and things, and with you and me and the kids. It’s just a lot right now.”

Ava put her arm around Sara’s shoulders. “Whatever you need right now, I’m here for you. I’ll get you a whole truckload of tums and those compression socks that are super cute. I’ll keep you steady, I’ll write you notes and set reminders, and I’ll help you in any way I can.”

Sara gave her a small smile and leaned her head against Ava’s shoulder. They sat against the kitchen cabinets until Sara’s ass started hurting. Ava pulled Sara into her lap and wrapped her arms around Sara’s waist, holding on to her as Sara closed her eyes. Ava thought she would fall asleep until Sara turned and looked up at her.

“I just can’t keep this a secret from the kids anymore. I hate lying to Sin about why I’ve been acting differently and why I’m sick. This morning, they asked me why my stomach was so big and I just froze. I wanted so badly to tell them the truth, but I didn’t. Instead, Laurel just told them that it was because I’ve been eating too much ice cream. I don’t know, I just want everything to be settled. I want us to be a family and I just, I don’t know.”

As Sara spoke she cradled her belly and Ava put a hand over hers. “Also the nesting instincts have kicked in early and they are strong! I got out Sin’s old clothes, the bassinet, I even bought diapers, and I bought a set of mountain pictures to hang in the nursery. So I hope you like them because that’s our theme.”

Ava listened as Sara lamented to her and waited until she was sure Sara was done speaking. “I get it. I also kind of got a little carried away when I was cleaning out the spare room this weekend.”

“You got excited,” Sara said with a knowing smile.

Ava smiled down at her and their wonderful little surprise. She had forgotten how exciting it was to have a baby and she had gotten a bit swept up in putting together the baby’s room the past few days. She had brought out all of Gary’s old baby things into the new baby’s room.

“Can I see it?” Sara asked, setting her snack down.

“Of course and I have a surprise to show you as well,” Ava said, getting up and holding out her hand to Sara who rejected it.

With one hand on the counter and the other cradling her belly, Sara got up by herself. “I’m not helpless yet.”

“I can’t imagine you ever being helpless.”

Sara just smiled at her and put the chicken bouillon away. Ava made a mental note to break out a new one before she started on dinner that night. She led Sara up the stairs and down the hall. They passed Gary’s room and peeked in on him and Sin setting up a Lego City.

When they got to the door, Ava had Sara close her eyes. Ava put an arm around her waist and led her into the middle of the room, where Sara could get a view of everything.

“Okay, open them.”

Sara opened her eyes and looked around the room. Ava had bought out the old rocker and placed it in the corner, there was a little bookshelf, and a bare white crib was up against the wall. She had opened a few boxes of old baby clothes and the few toys that she had and put them on the shelf. It looked like the beginnings of a nursery and the photo of all four of them that hung above the crib brought it all to life.

The photo was one that Ava had captured rather spontaneously while the four of them were at the park last weekend. Both Gary and Sin smiled up at the camera as Ava and Sara stood behind them. They each had one hand on each kid’s shoulders and one hand on Sara’s belly. Sara walked up to it and put her hand over her mouth and Ava could see the tears welling in her eyes.

Ava came up behind her and put her arms around Sara’s waist. She pulled her blouse and put her hands on her belly, cradling it. Sara’s belly was just big enough to fit in both of her hands.

“It’s us as a family, all five of us.”

“Yeah,” Sara whispered as she stared up at the photo.

They stayed like that, staring up at the picture, and Sara put her own hands over Ava’s. They had only just agreed a few weeks ago that Sara and Sin would move in with her and Gary before fall. Ava had also cleared out the other guest bedroom for Sin and made space for Sara in her room. The kids already knew that they were dating and the four of them were all getting along better than they could have imagined.

“Hey Ava, can Gary and I go jump on the trampoline?” Sin called out as they came barreling down the hallway and into the room with Gary behind them.

Ava quickly removed her hands from Sara’s belly, but Sara’s sweater stayed up, leaving the very evident bump. There was no hiding it. With all of the baby clothes, the crib, and Sara’s belly, it was obvious.

“What’s all this?” Sin asked, looking around the room and then over at them.

“Yeah, Mama?” Gary said, stepping into the room and picking up one of the toys on the shelf. “Why do you have all this baby stuff?”

Sara looked over at Ava and Ava looked back at her. “Sin, Gary, we have something to tell you.”

……………………………………………………………………

Sara sat down on the coffee table in the living room with Ava next to her. She took a deep breath and thought about what to say. Ava’s knees bounced and Sara put a hand on her knee, soothing her. Ava glanced over at her and Sara gave her a reassuring smile, hiding her own nerves.

“Gary, Sin,” Sara started, unsure how to break the news to them. She had just blurted it out to Ava, but she didn’t want to shock them.

Ava looked over at her and squeezed her hand. Sara nodded and took a deep breath with her as they turned back to the kids.

“You two know that Sara and I were dating before we told you guys about us. We wanted to make things work out between us so that we knew for sure we could all be together,” Ava said, as she talked in a steady clear voice. “But that’s also because we’re going to have a baby, and you two are getting a new baby sibling. Since we’re having a baby, things are going to change around here.”

Ava explained it so well and Sara just watched her talk. She had this whole big speech that she had more or less come up with on the spot, and it was perfect. Sin and Gary seemed to take things in strides and nodded along at certain parts, but looked confused at others, so Sara jumped in and added to Ava’s explanation. They both talked together and parented together for the first time. It came so naturally to them and Sara took a second to smile over at Ava. They were officially a team, and soon they’d be a family.

“So, because the baby needs both of its Mom’s, we need to live together when the baby comes in December. It wouldn’t be right away, and we’ll see how it goes. We want to do this because if we live together, we can take care of the baby and you and Gary. You both will get the same amount of time with your new sibling and you can get some special time with each one of us. We don’t want either of you to feel left out.” Sara explained to them as she put a hand on her belly now that she could without worrying about what Sin or Gary would think.

The kids seemed to be in a bit of shock as they just sat and looked up at both of them with different expressions. Sara watched each of them process it at different rates, before Gary smiled widely, while Sin still processed it.

“A baby?” Gary asked as he wiggled with excitement.

“Yeah, bud a baby,” Ava said, with a nod that matched his excitement.

“Wait, so we have to move in with Ava and Gary?” Sin asked, throwing out their hands.

“It wouldn’t be right away, probably in a couple of months, but I’m telling you now because I want to know if it would be okay with you?” Sara leaned forward to hold Sin’s hands.

“Would I have to share a room with Gary or the baby?”

“No, we have enough bedrooms so there’s one for you too. I actually cleaned it out and was wondering if you wanted to pick out a color for it?” Ava added, looking over at Sara briefly.

Sara nodded and they both looked back at Sin who was doing some more thinking.

“I don’t know.”

“That’s okay, honey,” Sara said, giving their hands an extra squeeze. “We can try it out and see how it goes okay?”

Sin nodded and sat back against the couch.

“How did the baby get in your tummy?” Gary asked, his question like a record scratching.

“Did you have sex?” Sin asked, Sara had given them the sex talk, along with the period and babies talk a couple of months ago.

“What’s sex?”

Ava looked over at her with wide eyes and Sara met Ava’s anxious expression with a shrug. Sin was old enough for the talk and Sara had told them that it was an adult act. But, she was never one to beat around the bush when it came to how bodies worked.

“It’s a grown-up thing,” Ava said as she struggled to find the words to explain it.

“Like kissing?” Gary asked, tilting his head as his eyebrows knitted together.

“Yes,” Ava said, smiling as she relaxed, leaving her explanation at that.

“No,” Sara interrupted, she could tell where this was going and watched as Sin and Garry got more and more confused. “Do you remember when I said that not every parent wanted their kids to know about it until they were ready?”

“Yeah,” Sin said with a nod, seeming to understand it more. “We were talking about delaying puberty hormones for me too.”

“Mama you take hormones because you used to be a boy,” Gary said, the look of confusion was gone and he seemed to be happy to understand what they were talking about.

“That's right,” Ava said, reaching over to grasp Sara’s hand and smiling as she whispered ‘thank you,’ to her. Sara nodded and they turned back to the kids together as Ava spoke. “I'm transgender which means that I take hormones to help me feel more like a girl.”

“But that still doesn't explain why the baby is in Sara's tummy?” Gary said, with a shrug.

Sara and Ava smiled and Sara pulled up her shirt and pointed to her baby bump. “The baby is growing in my uterus, here. Right now the baby is still very small, about the size of a pear. They need to be inside me to grow. Like how a plant doesn't come out of the ground until it's ready, the baby won't come out of my uterus until they grow big enough to live outside of me.”

“Oh,” both kids said as they sat back, seeming content with everything Sara and Ava had said.

Sara looked over at Ava and Ava nodded at her. They both let out a sigh of relief, having done the hard part of all of this.

“Do you guys have any more questions?”

“What’s sex?”

“I’ll tell you later Gary,” Ava quickly said, silencing everyone including Sara with a look.

Sara sighed and leaned forward towards Sin. “Do you have any questions kiddo?”

“No, I think I get it.”

“Good.”

“That’s great,” Ava said, clapping her hands together. “But remember the baby is still a secret, so we’re not going to tell anyone right away.”

“But Auntie Laurel knows, so it’s okay to talk to her about this,” Sara added as Ava looked over at her surprised. “She fingered it out when I threw out her candle.”

“Wait, so is Sin going to be my sibling?”

“Kind of, if you want them to be,” Ava said, with a smile, and Sara could see how happy she was that their family was coming together.

“They can be your sibling like the baby or you could call them your Nibbling like Aunt Laurel calls you her Niblett,” Sara offered Gary the options as he smiled.

“Like a chicken nugget?” Gary asked with a giggle.

“I mean, not really,” Sara said, trying to think of a better way to explain it to him, but Gary and Sin broke out into giggles and fell back onto the couch.

“Gary I’m your nugget. Bak bak.”

“Well, then I’m going to eat you!” Gary declared, opening his mouth wide and pretending to bite at the air above Sin.

“Bak bak.”

“Nom nom.”

Ava looked mortified, but Sara couldn’t help but laugh as well. She got up and joined them on the couch, laughing and playing alone, by clucking at Sin. Ava let her embarrassment go and sat next to Sin, joining in on the fun. Sin would bak and Gary would open his mouth to bite the air and even Sara joined in with a cock-a-doodle-doo and Ava pretended to bite at Sin and Sara.

The giggles seemed to never end because as soon as things settled down, one of them would start it all over again. Eventually, they sat down together. Sin leaned against Ava at one end of the couch and Ava put her arm around them. Sara laid down on the other end and Gary crawled over to lay next to her and put his hand on her belly.

“Hi baby, I’m your brother Gary and I love you,” Gary said, leaning down to kiss her belly.

Sara couldn’t hold back the tears that streamed down her cheeks and Ava looked up at her and rubbed her leg. She put one hand on Gary’s head and reached out to hold Sin’s hand as well.

“The baby and I love you too Gary,” Sara whispered to him. “And Sin, we love you, and we love you too Ava.”

Ava paused and tears collected in her eyes too. It was the first time Sara had said that she loved her and Sara didn’t just say it to her, she said it to Gary too. It was all that Ava could have ever wanted.

“I love you too, and I love you Sin and you too Gary,” Ava said, never taking her eyes off of Sara, but reaching out to give both of the kid’s hands a little squeeze.

“Mama, you didn’t say I love you to the baby,” Gary said, sitting up and looking pointedly over at her.

“And I love you too baby.”

Sara looked up and caught her eye as she smiled and brushed away her tears. Ava loved this woman, so much that it took her breath away and she loved the family that they now had.

Sara’s phone dinged and she looked away to read it. “Hey, do you want to meet my Dad at lunch next week?”

Ava paled, oh boy there was no way they were keeping the baby a secret. Not at the rate Sara was growing and with both kids knowing. So she would be meeting her girlfriend’s father while said girlfriend was visibly pregnant with her baby and both of their kids were bursting with excitement for a new sibling. Ava bit her lip and caught Sara’s eye. Sara looked over at her and she knew that it would mean the world to Sara if they met.

“Yeah, just so long as he doesn’t yell at me for getting you pregnant,” Ava said, patting Sara’s legs. “And it would probably be good for you and Sin to meet my family as well.”

“We could meet everybody’s family all at once for a big family reunion,” Gary said, getting excited again and jumping off the couch to go grab one of the family photos Ava had on the mantle.

Sara looked over at Ava a little apprehensively, and Ava shared in her worry. “We’re both adults and we have a plan. We’re not rushing into this and they have to be excited for a new grandbaby.”

“Yeah,” Sara nodded, still not completely sure about this, but on board with the plan.

“Yeah,” Ava nodded as well. “What was the worst that could happen?”

……………………………………………………………………

“Over here Papa,” Sin said, waving him over and Sara looked up to see her dad excitedly walking over to them.

It had been a few weeks since they had agreed to meet up with their families for lunch, and the day was finally here. They had arrived at the restaurant and had been seated in the backroom allowing for the private announcement.

Sara took a deep breath and put a hand on her belly before moving it away. She had to remember that she couldn’t do that for the rest of the night until after they had announced it, as it was a dead giveaway to her pregnancy. She instead got up and greeted her father after he pulled Sin for a Papa bear hug and said hello to Laurel.

“Hey Dad.”

“Hey sweetie,” Quentin said, leaning in to hug her.

“Hello Mr. Lance,” Ava said, holding out her hand for him to shake. Ava got up and stood tall next to her.

“You must be Ava,” Quentin said, looking her over with scrutinizing eyes as he shook her hand with a firm grip.

“Yes sir,” Ava said, shaking his hand, probably with the same amount of force that he was using.

“Well, it’s nice to meet you Ava. I’ve heard that you’ve been good to my daughter and grandchild,” Quentin said, as he gave her an approving nod and Sara let out a breath of relief.

“Well, they’re easy to be good too,” Ava said, looking over at Sara fondly, before putting her arm around Gary, who had shrunk back into his seat. “And this is my son Gary.”

Quentin gave him a more laid back and happy smile as he reached over to shake Gary’s hand. “It’s nice to meet you Gary.”

Gary smiled as he shook Quentin’s hand and relaxed against Ava’s side.

“Mom’s here,” Laurel said, giving them a heads up and they looked over to see Dinah walking towards them.

“Grammy!” Sin shouted, getting up and running over to her as Dinah crouched down and held her arms wide open for her grandchild.

Sara always felt better when her mom was around. Growing up, Sara had always been particularly close to her Mom. Dinah was more accepting of Sara’s wild ways, letting her daughter experiment and make her own path. Dinah made it a point to visit them at least once a year. However, since she had moved to Central City after the divorce, Sara hadn’t seen her as often as either of them liked. So Sara was happy to have her back for a few days.

After having a little moment together, Sin and Dinah made their way back to the table where she quickly greeted Laurel and then Sara with a hug. As always Dinah took things with ease and greeted Ava.

“You must be Ava. I’ve heard such wonderful things about you from Sara and Laurel,” Dinah said, pulling her into a hug.

Avis gave Sara a nervous smile over her shoulder but seemed to relax in Dinah’s arms.

As quickly and as warmly as she greeted Ava, Dinah also greeted Gary, holding out her hand for him instead of a hug as he had eyed Dinah warily. “And you must be Gary, Sin said you’ve been a good friend to them and that you enjoy magic.”

“Yeah, do you want to see this card trick I learned?” Gary said, instantly warming up to her.

“I’d love to,” Dinah said as he sat down next to Sin and Laurel.

Quentin quietly nodded at Dinah and they both exchanged a cordial hello. As both Dinah and Quentin settled at the table and Gary began to show him the card trick, Sara and Ava secretly shared a look. Ava smiled gently and she reached over to take Sara’s hands and put it over her belly. It was an action that eased both of their worries and Sara felt the baby flutter inside of her.

“Two down,” Sara whispered to her.

“And two to go,” Ava whispered back, looking past her and waving to Dorothy and Hank as they walked into the restaurant.

Both Sara and Ava got up at the same time to greet them. Sara straightened out her dress and tried to smile naturally.

“Hello dear,” Dorothy said as she greeted Ava, pulling her in for a hug and a quick kiss to her cheek.

“Hi Mom,” Ava said, quickly pulling back and reaching out to shake Hank’s hand. “Hello Hank.”

“Ava, it’s good to see you, honey,” Hank said with a warm greeting, despite their formal handshake.

Sara stood nervously next to Ava and watched her parents greet her before they finally turned to her with warm eyes.

“Mom, Hank, this is Sara,” Ava said, introducing her and putting an arm around her waist.

“It’s so nice to meet you Sara,” Dorothy said, pulling Sara in for a hug.

“It’s nice to meet you as well Mrs. Heyward,” Sara said, trying to breathe as Dorothy squeezed her a little too tight.

“Oh please call me Dot. I’m only Mrs. Heyward at school,” Dot said, finally letting go of her and pulling back to smile warmly at her, putting Sara at ease.

“Sara, it’s good to meet you,” Hank said, holding out his hand for her to shake. He gave her a firm grip and a tight smile that Sara was expecting, given what Nate and Ava had said about their father. That he was a very formal man, but with a soft side that he reserved for only in private.

“It’s nice to meet you too Mr. Heyward,” Sara said as she retreated to Ava’s side. “Ava always speaks very fondly of both of you.”

“Oh yes and Ava has said such nice things about you as well,” Dot said leaning back against Hank and putting a hand on his chest. “Hasn’t she Hank.”

“She has,” Hank said, merely acknowledging it.

Dot sent Sara a knowing smile and a wink, before going over and saying hello to Gary and Sin. Sara and Ava introduce both sets of parents to each other and so far everyone seemed to get along as they all sat down at the table. Ava pulled out Sara’s chair for her and Quentin noticed. He caught her eye and gave her an approving nod, to which Ava smiled and nodded back.

“Where is Nathaniel,” Hanks said, looking around, as the waitress came over to take their drink orders.

“He is on his way Dad, everyone is a bit early.” Ava explained as she pulled out her phone to send Nate a quick text.

“I’m sure he’ll be here any minute,” Dot said, as she sent Hank a look.

Ava gave them a nervous smile and Sara put her hand between Ava’s shoulder blades, gently rubbing up and down.

“So Ava,” Dinah said, looking over at her pointedly. “Sara said you were Sin’s school teacher. Is that how you both met?”

Sara could see how the smile Ava had put on her face betrayed how nervous she was. “Actually we met at the bakery, two mutual friends of ours were getting together and Sara was kind enough to hang out with me.”

“That’s so sweet,” Dot said, putting a hand on her chest and tilting her head to smile at them. “Ava mentioned that you were a partner in the business, Jiwe’s Bakery, yes.”

“Yes, I run the business side of the bakery for Amaya Jiwe,” Sara replied, matching Ava’s nervous smile as she spoke.

“A small business, that’s a good nice stable job I’m sure,” Hank said in more of a questioning tone.

“It is,” Dinah answered for her. “And it pays more than a teacher’s salary I’m sure.”

Hank looked like he was about to reply with another quip, but Ava managed to cut them off. “The Star City school district pays quite well actually and if you’re asking whether I am financially stable I assure you I am.”

“Okay,” Sara said, holding her hand out before this turned into a full on argument. “Let’s just clear a few things up. Ava and I are both financially stable enough to provide for each other and our children. We have seriously considered this relationship and how it will affect our children. We’re both equally committed to each other and we love each other very much.”

The last part was said as Sara reached over to grab Ava’s hands and held it on the table. Ava looked at her with soft eyes and the first genuine smile Sara had seen since they had sat down.

“Well, I guess that settles it, for now,” Quentin said, taking a sip of his water as the waitress came back to pass them around.

“I suppose so,” Hank said, as both of their families exchanged a mutual nod of agreement, and Sara and Ava let out a sigh of relief.

“Hey,” Nate said as he approached their table and leaned down to give Dot a quick kiss before he sat down. “I hope I didn’t miss anything.”

Sara couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled up in her throat and quickly hid it as she took a drink of her water. Everyone settled in and the rest of the meal went off without a hitch. Both of their families got to know each other as they talked and laughed and exchanged family stories. Ava looked over at Sara, putting an arm around her chair, she pulled her close and reached over to put a hand on Sara’s belly, under the table.

When the waitress came and took away their plates, Sara and Ava gave Laurel the signal to take the kids for ice cream at the place across the street.

“Alright, who wants ice cream?” Laurel asked, standing up and grabbing her purse.

“I do, I do,” Sin said, jumping up and down in their seat.

“I can have two scoops, right Mama?” Gary asked, looking over at her.

“Yes, I said you could baby,” Ava said smiled over at him as he wiggled with excitement.

“I think I’d like some ice cream too,” Quentin said, getting up from his seat.

“Actually Dad, why don’t we let Laurel and the kids go grab ice cream for us?” Sara said, trying to be nonchalant about the whole thing. Of course, her Mom picked up on it and sent her a questioning look, but grabbed Quentin’s arm and pulled him back down.

“Sara is right, let’s go,” Laurel said, ushering Gary and Sin out.

The mood in the room immediately shifted as Laurel and the kids walked out of the restaurant and then both sets of parents immediately turned their eyes to Sara and Ava. Ava took a deep breath. They had both agreed to speak together to both of their parents and had gone over what they would say on the phone the night before.

“Sara and I wanted you both to meet so that we could all get to know each other as a family, because we are going to be a family.” Ava began as she nervously looked between Sara’s parents, her own, and Nate who seemed to be stuck in the middle.

“It wasn’t planned, but Ava and I have chosen to do this. We’ve fallen in love and are ready to have a family together.” Sara continued where she had left off and put a hand over Ava’s on her belly.

“Sara, sweetie,” Dinah interrupted her. “If you two want to get married...”

“It’s not that Mom,” Sara said, looking over at Ava who nodded at her. “I’m pregnant. We’re having a baby and co-parenting together.”

The silence that filled the room could have been cut with a knife. Even Dinah, who was never one to judge her daughter, sat in silence as she absorbed the news.

“Oh my God, congratulations,” Nate said with a large smile blooming across his face. He immediately got up and went over to wrap them both in a hug.

“Thank you Nate,” Ava said as she and Sara let themselves smile and enjoy Nate’s enthusiasm.

“This is so exciting! A new niece or nephew!” Nate said as he looked between both of them.

“It is very exciting,” Dinah added as she stood up and walked over to them. “And as adults, I trust that you both know what you’re doing.”

Sara got up as her mother walked around and felt the stress fall off of her shoulders. No matter what, if Sara knew she had her Mom on her side, everything would be okay. Dinah pulled her in for a hug and when she pulled back, Sara pulled at her dress to outline her belly. Dinah gasped and placed her hand on her belly. Sara glanced up to see that everyone was looking fondly at her baby.

“Dinah is right. These two are both adults and they haven’t taken this lightly. We should trust them and support them,” Dot said, getting up and walking over to hug Ava and Sara as well.

Ava let herself melt into her Mom’s arms. When she pulled back, she looked over at Hank and Quentin who seemed to still be mulling over the announcement.

“You both have thought this through?” Hank asked, looking over at them.

“We have,” Ava answered, putting her arm around Sara's waist.

“Sara, can you promise me you won’t run out on my daughter?”

Sara glanced over at Ava and Ava knew from the loving look that Sara would never do that to her.

“I can promise you that I love your daughter very much Mr. Heyward and I know what it takes to raise a child, as I have one of my own. I would never willingly abandon either of them.”

Hank gave her one of his signature approving nods, as he was never one for hugs.

Quentin was the last one to get up and walk around to them.

“I want you to take care of my daughter and grandbabies,” Quentin said as he gave Ava a hard look.

“I will. I promise,” Ava said with a nod as she looked over at Sara with a fond smile.

Quentin’s hard look fell as he smiled and pulled both of them in for a hug.

“I suppose I shouldn’t judge, you’ve got everything figured out and I can see that you're not rushing into this,” Quentin said putting a hand on Sara’s belly. “Besides how can I be anything but happy when you're giving me another grandbaby.”

Laurel, Gary, and Sin came back at that moment, with ice cream across their faces. Quentin pulled his hand back and ruffled Sin’s hair as they handed him the ice cream.

“Did you tell them about the baby?” Sin asked as Sara grabbed a napkin to wipe their face.

“We did,” Ava answered with a smile as she did the same with Gary.

“I’m gonna have a new niece or nephew!” Nate said, practically bursting with excitement.

“Or nibling.” Laurel added matching his smile as Quentin and Dinah looked over at her with the same amount of surprise that they had for Sara and Ava, and Laurel just shrugged. “Sara was terrible at hiding it.”

“Yeah, I’m going to be a big brother,” Gary said standing up tall and proudly until Ava wiped his face.

“And I’m going to be a big chicken.” Sin loudly proclaimed to the whole restaurant.

……………………………………………………………………

The doorbell rang and Sara smiled as she swung open the door to see Mick, Lisa, Lita, and Sin piled to the small hallway.

“Hey you, Sara said, putting her arms around Sin. “Did you have a good time ice skating?”

Normally Sara would have gone with them to their ice skating rink, but with Laurel and Tommy off on a picnic lunch and Ava and Gary at some magic show that Constantine was putting on. Sara opted to spend the afternoon getting back into her workout routine and doing some sparing with Kendra. Something she had finally been able to do now that she was fifteen weeks along and in the second trimester.

“Yeah, I was practicing going backward, but Uncle Mick made me wear too much protective gear and I couldn’t see,” Sin said with an eye roll.

“Yeah, because protecting your head is such a drag.” Sara laughed and sent Mick a wink as he just smiled and nodded his head.

“You should have seen the butt pads your dad made me wear when I first started ice skating,” Lisa said, turning around and mimicking the butt pillow, earning a laugh from everyone around her. “Overprotectiveness runs in the family.”

“Yeah, well there’s a good reason for it,” Sara said as she took the backpack from Sin’s shoulders. “You guys are always getting into way too much trouble.”

“Trouble is part of the fun,” Lita said with a smile.

“We should get going. You said you had a summer reading list to start,” Mick said, putting a hand on Lita’s shoulders.

“Ugh, summer homework is the worst!” Lita scowled as she crossed her arms.

“We should do some reading too kiddo,” Sara said, as she ran a hand through Sin’s helmet hair.

“Having your teacher date your mom is no fun,” Sin said as they scrunched up their face.

“Yeah, I’m out,” Lisa said, holding up her hands. “There’s a reason I went to Nationals and not college.”

Sin turned and hugged Lisa, who gave them an extra squeeze and a wink before she pulled back and hugged Sara.

“Bye Sin,” Lita said, as they did, their special cousin’s handshake ending in a fist explosion.

“See ya kid and take care Blondie,” Mick said, with his usual nod of approval and gave her belly a little pat.

The little baby in her belly kicked and fluttered and Sara put a hand on her stomach, feeling them wiggle around. They all looked down at her belly and Lisa made little grabby hands before putting her hands on Sara’s belly. Lita did a modified version of the cousin’s handshake with her belly and Sin joined her for the last fist bump and explosion. Sara was relieved that they were so excited about the baby. They were also so supportive of her relationship with Ava and it meant the world to her.

“Bye!” Sin yelled after them with a wave, watching until they disappeared onto the elevator.

“It sounds like you guys have fun,” Sara said, as she shut the door and they walked back into the apartment.

“Yeah, but do I have to read?” Sin asked as they knelt down to take off their black converse.

“Why don’t you bring out your book and we can start reading together,” Sara offered, with a yawn and Sin nodded, before running off to their room.

The sun streamed in through the windows and the heat seemed to seep in through the bricks. Sara propped up a box fan in the window and set it to blow on the couch as she sat down. It was one of those lazy Sundays where all you wanted to do was nap, but they had a book to read, so Sara settled in.

As she waited for Sin, thoughts of Leonard filled her mind. Now that she was pregnant again, she couldn’t help but remember what it was like when she was pregnant with Sin and the memories of Leonard that came with it. He was so sweet with her and helped her out with everything, from late night food runs, to doctors appointments, and getting the nursery put together. He would massage her feet and hold back her hair as she was sick. Leonard took care of her, and after she gave birth to continue to take care of her and Sin. Leonard was so in love with both of them and they were his world.

Sara still dreams of him sometimes, and she often dreamed of the last day they were together. The way the waves sounded as they hit the rocky coast, the way they curved around the corners, the way the engine revved, and the way Leonard smiled over at her.

He picked a spot just against the cliffs where they could watch the sunset and pulled her into his lap. She still remembered the way that he smelled, like wind and sea salt with touches of his cologne that lingered on his collar. She remembered the way he held her, whispered in her ear how much he loved her, and how much she meant to him. Sara felt like they would be together forever. He looked at her like no one else did.

They stayed there till the night grew dark and he drove slowly around the curves as they drove home. He told her to go to sleep and relax, he’d carry her into the hotel and promise to wake her up if her Dad called about Sin. She drifted off, but the next thing she knew they were rolling over the road. She remembered how the blood was everywhere, and the car seemed to be smashed around them. She remembered how his arm was bracing her against the seat. She remembered screaming, trying to get him to wake up, but no matter how loud she screamed he didn’t wake up.

“Mom, Mom.”

Sara startled awake and sat up. She looked over to see Sin just standing next to her, looking just as frightened as she felt. Sara leaned forward and wrapped her arms around them, trying to hold back the sobs that shook her body.

“I’m okay, it’s okay baby,” Sara said, she didn’t want to frighten them and took several deep breaths, to try and calm herself. “I’m sorry I scared you. It’s okay.”

“Did you have a bad dream?” Sin whispered as they patted her back.

Sara took a deep breath and squeezed Sin a little tighter. “Yeah baby, but it’s all over now and it was just a dream.”

Sin nodded and wiggled out of her arms. “I’ll go get Leo.”

They quickly rushed off and then came back with Leo the lion and the picture frame of Leonard and them that sat on their nightstand.

“Here, Leo will scare all the nightmares away,” Sin said, as they crawled back into her lap.

Sara laughed as she placed Leo on her chest while holding the picture. Sara turned so they could both hold the lion and look at the photo.

“Your Daddy was the best at scaring away the nightmares, wasn’t he,” Sara said as they looked down at the picture and Sin gently outlined his face with their finger.

“He still is,” Sin said, hugging Sara tighter. “Daddy will always watch over us and keep away the nightmares.”

“That’s right.”

Sara held Sin and just watched them for a moment. Sometimes missing him felt like an ache in her soul. Having Sin around made it feel both better and worse. She had the best reminder of him and a lifetime of things he would never see them do.

She barely even knew when the door to the apartment opened. She just assumed it was Laurel getting back, but was greeted by Gary rushing up to them. He leaned down, half falling on them, to wrap them both in a hug.

“Hello.”

“Gary, remember what we said about personal space,” Ava smiled as she walked over and picked Gary up, tickling his sides.

Sara looked up at Ava and smiled, happy that she was there. Yet, Ava seemed to freeze at the sight of them and stared down at the photo in their hands.

“Who’s that?” Gary said, pointing at Leonard in the photo as he wiggled out of Ava’s arms.

“That’s my Daddy,” Sin said proudly. “He used to run a figure skating rink with my Aunt Lisa. He took her to nationals and he taught me how to ice skate. This is Leo, a part of my Daddy lives in him and he scares away the nightmares.”

“Cool, it’s like magic.”

“Yeah.”

Sin and Gary continue to talk and Sara looked up at Ava who seemed to close herself off. She briefly caught Sara’s eye as she walked away. “I should get going on dinner or something.”

Sara just nodded, knowing Ava needed time. It was easier for her, Ava’s ex-wife was the bad guy and Sara didn’t have to like her. Ava’s past was all said and done. Even if they did have to see her again, Sara knew that she didn’t have to play nice to the girl who broke Ava and Gary’s heart.

Things with Leonard were different. Leonard was part of her and he was Sin’s dad. He would always be a part of their family. She and Ava had talked about it before, but only briefly and Ava seemed to deal with Leonard as if he was just a piece of her past. Sara decided just to let her deal with it on her own, with Ava knowing that Sara loved her.

……………………………………………………………………

A few nights later they were all over at Ava’s place getting ready for bed. Sara stopped the dryer and pulled out two warm blankets for Sin and Gary. She quickly wrapped it up to hold the heat and walked down the hall. Gary was in his room with Ava who was helping him pick up the last of his toys.

Sara opened the blanket, coming up behind him to wrap it around his shoulders. Gary cuddled into the warmth and gave her a hug.

“Thanks Sara, goodnight,” Gary said, turning around to kiss her cheek and pressing an extra kiss to her belly. It was something he had started doing after they told the kids and something she was still getting used to. “And goodnight to you too baby.”

Ava put the box away on the shelf and tilted her head as she smiled over at then. Sara smiled at her as Gary untangled his arms from her waist and crawled into bed.

“Goodnight Gary,” Sara said, leaning down to kiss his head.

“Ready to be tucked in?” Ava asked, already pulling the covers up to his chin.

“Yep.”

Sara smiled at them and let them say goodnight to each other, going off in search of Sin, who was probably still in the bathroom. Instead, Sara heard Sin’s voice coming from the baby’s room. The room was dark as Sara opened the door and peeked in. Sin was standing in the crib and had put something into the corner of the framed photo of them.

“There you go Daddy, now you can watch over all of us at Ava’s house,” Sin said, looking up at the photo, it was the one from the frame on top of their dresser of Leonard sitting at his desk at the ice rink. “Today I played with Gary and we made a huge fort. Then we watched a movie and we had s’mores in the backyard because Ava has a campfire pit!”

Sara let Sin have a moment alone as they talked with their dad. It was something they often did, mostly before they went to bed and especially when they were missing him.

Sara didn’t realize she was holding the blanket tightly up against her chest until Ava put a hand on her arm. She turned to look at Ava and let go, taking a deep breath. She went to put her arms around Ava, but she stepped away and just looked down. Ava gave Sara’s arm another squeeze and nodded her head, before walking away towards their bedroom.

Sara took a step to follow her, but she wasn’t sure what she would say. So she decided to put Sin to bed before she talked to Ava. Sara peeked in the door again and wordlessly walked in greeting Sin with a smile as they turned around. She walked over to Sin, putting the blanket around their shoulders and hugged them close.

“Hey Mom, I was just telling Dad about the s’more you made and how gross it was,” Sin said wrinkling up their nose.

“It wasn’t that bad,” Sara said as she bopped their nose. “Besides, I ate much worse things when I was pregnant with you.”

“Ugh like Broccoli,” Sin said, sticking out their tough and doing a full body wiggle.

“Yeah, I ate all that Broccoli and you still don’t like it,” Sara said, giving them an extra squeeze and tickling their sides. “Are you ready to go to bed, or do you want to keep talking to your Dad?”

“I’m ready,” Sin said as they turned around to look at the photo and leaned in to kiss it. “Goodnight Daddy.”

Sara smiled and blew a kiss to the photo as well. “Goodnight Len.”

Sin turned back and hugged her. They tried to put their weight on her and make Sara carry them, but Sara put her hands on their waist holding them into place.

“Sorry kiddo, I’m already carrying one baby. I can’t carry you too,” Sara said with a frown as she pulled back.

“Sorry Mom, I forgot,” Sin looked down and let go of her.

“It’s okay,” Sara said as she put down the side of the crib.

Sin crawled out and Sara put her arm around them as she let them down the hall back into Gary’s room, where he was already snoring. They hadn’t set up the bedroom for Sin yet as the grey paint, a compromise from black, was still drying. Sara pulled Sin in as she climbed into bed and lay down next to them. “But that doesn’t mean I can’t hold you like this.”

Sin smiled and snuggled close to her, wrapping the blanket around both of them. Sara ran her fingers through their short black hair. When they were a baby Sin would only fall asleep in either Sara or Len’s arms. They wanted to spend the entire day being held and Sara carried them around in a wrap for the majority of their first year. She was so honored to still be her kid’s safe space and she would never pass up the chance to hold them.

Sara stayed with them and held them until they fell asleep. Then she slipped out from their arms and put a pillow into the space she previously occupied. She ran her fingers through their hair one last time and pressed a kiss to their forehead before she left the room.

Sara walked down the hallway and popped into the nursery seeing that the light was on. She paused to see Ava standing in front of the crib looking up at Len’s photo. She snuck up behind Ava and wrapped her arms around their waist. Ava didn’t jump this time, but she did startle and looked back at her before leaning in and holding Sara’s arms around her waist.

“Sin wanted their Dad to watch over the new baby too.”

Ava reached up and took the photo out, before turning around and handing it to Sara. “You should give it back to Sin. I know how important the picture is to them, besides this is our baby, we’ll watch over them.”

Sara just shook her head, she untangled herself from Ava and put the photo back. “Yeah, but Leonard is Sin’s father and he’s a part of their family, which makes him a part of our families.”

“Sara, he may be Sin’s father, but he’s not a part of our baby’s family. You, me, Gary and Sin are,” Ava said, grabbing the photo again and handing it back to Sara.

Sara looked at the photo and then looked over at Ava as her eyebrows knitted together. “Ava...”

“I get it Sara. I don’t mind Sin having Leonards’s photo in their room and stuff, but this baby is yours and mine alone. We’re going to be a family just the four of us.”

Sara gave Ava a hard look and put Leonard’s photo back in the corner of the picture, before crossing her arms and standing in front of the crib.

“Len is a part of our family and when you committed to having a family with me and Sin that includes Leonard in whatever capacity Sin wants. This isn’t just about you and me is about Sin and I won’t force them to keep their father to themselves. If they want the photo in the nursery with the baby, then that’s where it’s going to be.”

“Sara, that’s not what I asked,” Ava said, trying to walk up to her and reached out to her, but Sara turned away.

“That is what you asked. Look Ava, we both have a past. We have past relationships that still affect us. We both have baggage.” Sara said, throwing up her hands, she hadn’t realized that she had raised her voice and took a deep breath. “You have Gary’s mother and I know that you’re not as open about her with Gary. I don’t even know her name. You don’t have any pictures of her up and I respect that, but Leonard is a part of my family and a part of Sin. I won’t erase that.”

Ava looked down and crossed her arms as well. “Things with Gary’s mom and I are completely different. She chose to leave and have nothing to do with me or Gary.”

Sara took a step towards her. “I know, but that doesn’t mean Gary doesn’t want to know about her. Sin wants to know about their father. I won’t keep Leonard from them and neither should you.”

Ava looked up and unfolded her arms, taking a step towards her. Sara reached out to hold Ava’s hands and gave them a squeeze.

“You and me and Sin and Gary and this baby,” Sara said holding Ava’s hand and putting it on her belly. “Are a family and nothing is going to change that. But our past led us to this moment and they are still a part of us. They deserve whatever place we choose to give them. Please let me and Sin have this place.”

Ava moved her hands to hold the curve of Sara’s belly and looked up as she felt a drop of water. Sara had silent tears falling down her cheeks as she looked down at their hands. Ava reached up to hold Sara’s face and Sara leaned into her, wrapping her arms around Ava’s waist.

“You’re right,” Ava whispered in Sara’s ear as she brushed away her tears. “I’m sorry Sara, I shouldn’t have tried to take Leonard away from you and Sin.”

Sara just nodded as her tears fell. Ava rubbed her back and let Sara cry as she led her out of the room. She led Sara down the hallway and into their bedroom, sitting down in a chair, and pulling Sara into her lap. The tears slowed and Sara’s breathing became even again, and she pulled Ava’s hand back to her belly.

Ava took a deep breath trying to settle her own nerves as she reached over to her nightstand. She opened the drawer and pulled out a photo, handing it to Sara.

“Her name was Anna. She was a realtor and we met when I was house hunting back in Fresno. She was wild and spontaneous. She was never one for marriage and a family but she did it for me. I thought she would be happy but, I guess domestic life was too boring for her.”

“She said that?” Sara said, looking down at the photo of Ava with her arms around Anna as they both laughed in the photo.

“When she left, I threw out everything that reminded me of her. I just felt so angry. I got rid of everything except for a few photos of her and Gary and this.” As Ava spoke she looked at Sara rather than at the photo.

“Does Gary know about this?” Sara asked, turning to look up at her.

“Sort of,” Ava said, with a shrug. “He knows what happened, but he’s never really asked many questions about her.”

“I won’t tell you what to do with this,” Sara said, handing her the photo. “But if you want to give her photo to Gary I’d understand.”

“She doesn’t deserve a place in his life. She made that very clear on the day she left,” Ava said putting the photo away and shutting the drawer. “But I think Gary deserves to know more about her.”

Sara just hummed and nodded against her shoulder. They sat in the moment together letting themselves adjust and take in the emotions of the night. Ava noticed that Sara started to drift off and picked her up again to lay her down on their bed. She quickly changed and brought over a pair of pajamas for Sara, and Ava helped her change. By the time she crawled back into bed, Sara was asleep and Ava pulled her against her chest before she turned off the light.

Ava thought about what Sara said as she lay awake. Sara was right, despite how much Anna had hurt her, she was Gary’s mother. He at least deserved to know more about her and when the time came, if he wanted to reach out to her, she would let him.

She turned and looked out at the stars that glowed against the black night. A gentle early summer breeze came in through the open window and she caught a glimpse of the Moon. Ava was never one to believe in heaven or hell, but as she looked up she thought of Leonard.

Leonard was a piece of Sara and of Sin, without him, they would have never met. She would have never had the family that she had today. She didn’t have to compete with him and as she looked up, she thanked him for the family she had now. Ava held Sara tighter and put a hand on her belly as she thought about the two perfect kids sleeping down the hall, she knew she was never letting go.

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peridonomatopoeia · 5 years

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[worm scraps] Steven Finally Goes To Therapy (It Doesn’t End Too Well) 1/3

~1K wordcount

~*~

Steven slumped down in his seat, bending his head forward to shield his sore eyes from the searing lights above him.

A strange pressure had been steadily building in his head ever since midnight, different from his usual tension headaches, and now he could barely stand to keep his eyes open.

He had taken something for it of course, just before he left home, but only ended up getting heartburn for his efforts; turned out aspirin didn't work too well on an empty stomach.

Heh, it was kinda funny.

He'd stared a being made of pure shining light right in the face, but these ceiling lights hurt him more than White Diamond's radiance ever did.

A door swung open somewhere, and he cringed at the sound of approaching footsteps, but it was someone else's name that doctor called out; some other kid who'd gone through hell, who had to rise from their seat and follow down a winding corridor, while he was still safe (safe?) and could – if only for a brief moment – feel relief.

He sighed, sneaked a glance to his right, at his dad, sitting in the same kind of plastic uncomfortable waiting chair. He didn't notice Steven looking, thankfully; he was too engrossed in a brochure instead:

'Supporting your child through-'... the rest was obscured by his hand, and something told Steven he didn't really want to know the full sentence.

He told his dad that morning that he wanted to go alone; he was old enough to drive so he should be old enough to do this alone, surely, but Dad had been adamant on following him here anyway.

Not necessarily join in on the session, but just being there, in case Steven needed him.

And yeah, to be honest, he did need him to be here, because at this point in time, if it'd been up to Steven alone, he'd rather be anywhere else. Homeworld, space, a desolate moon, anywhere but here.

But he had to, he had to he had to, or else he'd let his dad down, he'd let Connie down (again).

It was their idea after all.

He was here because of them.

When they first broached the subject three weeks ago it felt at first like they pulled the rug from under his feet. The thought of them talking about him behind his back, making plans for him without asking what he wanted, conspiring against him-

It felt just like betrayal.

But they both made good points, many good points, both rational and well-reasoned and pleading and passionate, and eventually he didn't just see where they were coming from, he could actually agree.

Yes, maybe he did need someone to talk to; someone who was trained to help sort through difficult feelings and memories.

Yes, maybe he did need therapy.

That wasn't what he told them at first of course. Oh, no, he went on and on about how he was not just feeling fine, but great, and whatever alleged feelings he had to sort through he could do it perfectly well on his own.

Heh. He was too used to dealing with gems, to ever think that would be enough to sway Connie and Dad.

In the end, they were the ones to sway him, convincing him that this would actually help. He wanted so badly to believe them at that point, and he did, he did he did, at least at first.

But, then he sat there while they talked and smiled and laughed, actually laughed! and booked an appointment over the phone, all while a icy clump of regret grew in his stomach.

He didn't know how on earth to even bring it up, so he never did, just tried to ignore it like everything else, and while Connie and Dad soon left for the night the clump never did; it had only dug in deeper, twisted in on itself until it felt like his belly was full of thorns.

And now the day he feared had come.

He didn't want to do this.

He didn't want to be here.

No, no, he shouldn’t think like this. He shouldn't be selfish.

He didn't do this for himself, he did it for them.

Anything to put their minds at ease.

Anything to make them feel better.

“But what about you?” Connie's voice piped up inside his head, a stray echo of the argument they had back then. “Don't you think you deserve to feel better too?”

He did. He knew he did.

He knew, deep inside him, it was a bad idea to cope the way he did: pushing back every bad memory, every doubt, every regret, into the deepest darkest recesses of his mind, as if they'd magically sort themselves out and disappear if he didn't think about them for long enough.

By the time he finally realized it had only made them worse, they had grown so big and so entangled it was impossible to separate them from each other, impossible to process one by one.

It was even impossible to explain just how all of this really felt, mentally, not just to others but even to himself.

Bad.

It felt bad.

That was the closest he could get.

The closest he dared to get.

At least on his own.

That was why he was here. This was where Dad's and Connie's hope lay. His too, he supposed. There was a reason he had agreed to it after all:

Because, in some weird way, this felt like the last chance he had. He hadn't told anyone about it, of course he hadn't how could he? – but, he was scared that if he couldn't get a grip on himself, someday something horrible would happen to him, and this time no one would be there to save him.

He didn't remember how he responded to Connie back then, three weeks ago. He'd get memory gaps sometimes, even with things that weren't actually painful to remember.

But he knew he hesitated.

He remembered that much.

~*~

first part of something i wrote a little while after the theory first surfaced. never got anywhere anywhere near the actual part where he corrupts because i write at the pace of a dead snail and never even finished a chapter before the episodes aired, haha whoops.

#corrupted steven theory #related #long post #steven universe #jirzettastuff #fic #steven universe future #su

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askbloatedbellyblog · 5 years

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Update: AKA wtf did you go AB3

Alright everyone, now that my birthday is over, I thought I should give everyone an update on why I’ve sorta disappeared.

Well first off, life and work got extremely busy. I’m been trying to accomplish some real life goals and have made some success, got super stressed out with too many things to do and even quit a place I’ve worked at for nearly 6 years for mental health reasons even though I then worked there for another 6 months after. yeah it was super weird.

I’ve had anxiety for a while and some of the stuff I was doing was trying to get over it by confrontation, lessen some by getting out of situations, and pursuing dreams.

Now that doesn’t mean that I’ve forgotten bellies or anything else either, just been stretched thin. Or so I thought.

So what I chalked up to getting old I’m not really old just thought “aging” and apparently this is fairly common with what I will lay out and anxiety sometimes to an extreme with more panic attacks and depression which I’ve always dealt with and have been going to therapy for, which I suggest for anyone, lack of focus, ADHD, muscle aches, tiredness (which I thought was from bad sleep habits), etc; weren’t exactly what I thought they were.

I’m a fairly fit person. I workout or had but again motivation was waning or being busy but also gets to this in a second nearly every day, I don’t eat TOO badly, I sleep way worse than I should but okay, take vitamins etc. Recently leaned on energy drinks too much but oh well. But I’ve had some bad foot pain and other ailments for a while. I’ve not had a ton of money, thought part of it was from tile floors or planter fasciitis (basically a tendon injury that can be caused by over use and flat feet, which guilty).

So after finally reaching deductible for the year, I finally went to the doctor and discovered that somehow I have peripheral neuropathy. Meaning somehow my nerves are messed up. I can move fine, but I was told my “sensory nerves were worse than an 80 year old” and that why my leg/feet were on fire. Usually this happens with advanced diabetes which I don’t have (as far as they can tell and said I’d know it by the time this would have happened).

It’s really great to hear that your nervous system is all jacked up and you didn’t know it. I’m still trying to figure out a legit diagnosis with a few of the blood tests I’ve had be fairly normal. It still could be something with my thyroid, maybe cancer, MS, who knows. I’m still trying to get in to see other doctors to try to see what is going on, though I have a sneaking suspicion and so far way less serious than all that.

At the casual suggestion of the doctor who did my nerve test because it “helps the nerves”, I took vitamin b12. I’ve taken some before and its in BASICALLY everything as far as anything fortified, the multivitamin I take, energy drinks, cereal, you name it. It’s in there to SOME degree. Well I’ve been having digestion issues as of late (wondering if I really had like IBS or Celiac etc) so I thought “You know what, I’ll buy one of those gummy versions so I can chew it up better and see what happens.” Well boy howdy, did that affect things and not necessarily for the better at first. I had bought both a b12 gummy and a b complex and the complex happened to have a different form of b12 than is usually in all those shelf stable fortified version of food. It was the “active” version of the vitamin (because apparently there are 4 different types, who knew).

Have you ever wanted to know what it’s like to feel like you’re on fire? Or to have your whole body be electrically charged? Well basically that’s what happened. Still happening to a degree. Still trying to find out for sure (which apparently is very hard to find doctors well versed in it because it does have symptoms similar to other diseases and not always present in the blood) but it looking pretty likely I have pernicious anemia. SUPER fun let me tell you. Not sure if it’s going to be a forever thing or just somehow got a b12 deficiency but I’m really starting to suspect actually a family history with it and not having things connected together.

Normal people don’t react to vitamin B12, even if they take too much, they just pee it out. But when I’ve taken it especially at first (it’s a known issue that it can have worse symptoms when you first start getting B12 again because your system finally is screaming GIVE ME ALL THE THINGS) I’ve gotten worse symptoms of pain, migraines, spreading nerve pain, lung, heart issues, breathing, stamina, everything out the window for a little bit. Being on fire but knowing you have to deal with it as best you can is super fun let me tell you. In a perfect world, I’d actually get shots for it but that requires finding a doctor who believes it. The big problem is that some people don’t find out they have it for YEARS and by then nerve damage is permanent. If you act fast it can be reversed. I don’t want to ruin my shot at getting better while I can.

Now the good news is so far, I have been getting better! It’s early days but nerves are less on fire. I’ve been getting energy up, libido is better, mood is better, breathing is getting better, heck even my digestion and heartburn have been getting much better. Not perfect but improving. Hell I didn’t even realize it was an issue but I had a night a bit ago where I was tingling all over in my legs and feet and suddenly could move my pinkie toes more than I ever remember being able to. So things are communicating and trying to recalibrate.

Fun fact: did you know lack of B12 can cause anxiety, panic attacks, depression, insomnia, sleepiness, dementia, lack of focus, bowel issues, nerve damage and more? So my anxiety and depression (not saying I’m fixed or that it will go away by any means) could be linked to chronic lack of b12? That lack of being able to concentrate and focus could also be symptoms? Did you know that if you have absorption problems (bingo from intestinal issue) and taking heart burn medication (also a check mark because have fought it for years) can cause b12 deficiency? Because you need the stomach acid to digest it and have it in your colon? WELL I KNOW NOW LET ME TELL YOU WHAT. Did you know that working out burns more B12 and so does stress and anxiety? So its very possible that because I have been working out and super stressed that I actually made the problem worse by using up what little stores of B12 I had? SUPER GREAT let me tell you.

So while I’m still trying to get to a doctor and hopefully don’t have something more serious, it seems likely that I’ve had a chronic B12 deficiency for years and it may have just not been in the right form for me to use despite ingesting a ton and then the cycle just made it worse. It could be a long road with maybe some permanent issues but I’m hopeful things are looking up even though it seems like it’s kind of a two steps forward, one step back kind of process with some relapses even though there’s progress. I still get worried and stressed about my condition and hate being in pain and weak and probably over research on whats going on (also still hoping that it’s not something more serious) but considering I’m making improvements and doing so fairly quickly all things considered makes me okay and hopeful I’ll be better than ever and able to accomplish more and not worry that I’m “getting old” when I’m pretty young.

Where does this leave me and this blog? Well it’s not going anywhere. I still exist, I’m still pining for bellies or muscle in my own way, and while it’s been slow thanks to health, lack of time, and lack of motivation; I do have some stories I’ve been working on and hopefully can get back to more canons. I do like being creative and trying to think of new things, even if I do tend to reuse a lot of ideas sometimes. Hopefully everyone will still stick around to support me even if I’m absent for a bit either on Tumblr, Twitter, or wherever else. I’m sorry for sometimes dropping conversations from being busy or procrastinating or social anxiety. Maybe that will get fixed with this. I’m honestly horrible at being the first one to start a conversation or pick it up again, so bug me first please.

Congrats if you’ve made it this far in my big life update/rant/manifesto? Thank you those who gave me birthday wishes. I luckily was healthy enough to go out and have some fun and I think I’m well enough to rejoin society again though there may be some pain. Thanks everyone for sticking with me over the years in all the places I’ve been and for enjoying all the weird ideas and writing that I’ve done to torture various characters. I hope to continue to do so for years to come.

Laters!

AB3

#mun speaks #health yo #everyone take b12!#apparently SUPER IMPORTANT #don't be a young old man like me #Hopefully I will grace everyone with a late christmas story soon I nearly finished #also everyone watch dr stone #Its my favorite

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71tenseventeen · 6 years

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Take My Hand (Take My Whole Life Too)-9

Pt 1, Pt 2, Pt 3, Pt 4, Pt 5, Pt 6, Pt 7, Pt 8

Warnings for sexual content, male pregnancy, non-hockey Sid. Sid and Taylor’s ages have been altered to fit the story.

Perpetual credit to my betas, @queen-alia and @icosahedonist as well as the GC and @ljummen.

Sid’s having a rough day.

He was up half the night with the worst heartburn he’s ever experienced in his life. When he schlepped into the coffee shop at 5:30 this morning, he was already exhausted after getting less than three hours of sleep.

He’s sick and sore and exhausted all day but he pushes through because at this point he realizes this is just how he’s going to feel for the next seven months. He can’t afford to miss more work.

Even though his boss promised he’d get Sid out of there on time for his doctor’s appointment, Aubrey is late so he has to stay until she gets there. He only barely gets out with enough time to race to the appointment in his work clothes.

It really doesn’t get any better from there. Everything is rushed, as usual, and Sid spends more time with the nurse than with the actual doctor. She laughs when Sid brings up his nausea again and tuts at him. “That’s to be expected, kiddo. Pregnancy isn’t supposed to be easy.”

When he tells her his feet and ankles are already swelling and she distractedly tells him to drink more water, it takes everything Sid has not to snap at her. He leaves with no answers and gnawing frustration at their dismissal of him that, he’s sure, is because of his age.

He tries to schedule an ultrasound on the way out and is informed his meager student plan doesn’t cover that unless there are difficulties so he’ll have to pay out of pocket if he wants one.

By the time he gets back to his car he just wants to go home and crawl into bed but he can’t. He’s meeting Geno.

To make matters worse, Geno texted earlier and asked if they could meet at his place in Sewickley which means Sid has half an hour of driving ahead of him. He could have said no but this is important. Despite everything, Sid’s still afraid that Geno will change his mind, back out and leave him to deal with this alone. And maybe it’s pathetic but he just doesn’t want to be alone. Geno might be practically a stranger but he’s all Sid has.

So Sid does his best to pull himself together and makes the drive to Sewickley.

It’s harder than he expected. Besides being nauseated and sore, he’s just so tired. Twice on the drive he has to give himself a shake but he finally makes it.

Geno is waiting outside for him and waves as he pulls up. It’s a nice gesture but Sid hopes they don’t linger outside too long. Summer has hit hard in Pittsburgh and the oppressive heat is not doing anything good for his nausea. He feels his stomach lurch when he steps out of the car and is relieved when Geno immediately starts ushering him inside.

He thinks if he can get inside and cool down, he can hold it together.

Except apparently Geno cooked because as soon as they step inside, Sid is surrounded by the smell of freshly-cooked fish and that’s all it takes to send him racing to the bathroom.

Somewhere through the haze of sickness he registers Geno kneeling at his side, rubbing his back. It feels like it will never end but when he finally feels like he’s done, he slumps back against the cool wall as Geno wets a washcloth and wipes at his face gently. It’s such a tender, caring thing, the type of thing he didn’t think he’d have anyone ever do for him and before he can stop it, tears are stinging at his eyes.

Geno stands first and then helps Sid up. At the sink he hands him a cup. “You okay to rinse?”

“I think so.” He really hopes Geno won’t notice the way his voice is wobbling.

“Okay. You rinse and I get you toothbrush, be right back.”

Sid follows Geno’s directions, trying so hard to pull himself together. He splashes water on his face and is trying to wipe at the gross spot on his shirt when Geno comes back with a new toothbrush and an old Pens tee and says, “Here, I bring you toothbrush and shirt to wear while I wash yours. Got rid of fish, too. We order out, anything you want, or I cook something for you.”

And that’s all it takes.

Sid looks at the shirt and toothbrush in Geno’s hands and bursts into tears.

Geno’s eyes widen with concern as he steps in close. “Hey, what going on? You okay? Why you cry?”

Sid shakes his head and sniffles hard. He’s not sure if he can explain even if he wasn’t weeping openly now.

“Okay, you not have to say but at least tell me, you okay?”

Sid nods with a hiccup.

“Not hurt anywhere?”

Sid shakes his head and makes an embarrassing snorting attempt to sniffle. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” he sobs and Geno pulls him close, loops an arm around his waist and starts guiding him in the direction of the living room.

“Nothing to be sorry for. It’s okay now. Whatever wrong, we find a way to fix. I promise.”

He didn’t know how badly he’d needed to hear words like that, to have someone comfort him but hearing it just makes him sob harder.

Geno eases him onto the couch and settles next to him, pulling him in close. He starts speaking in soothing tones and it helps even though Sid can’t understand anything he’s saying. He switches back to English long enough to say, “Going to be okay, Sid. I’m promise. I take care.” And Sid decides to take him at his word because he needs this so much right now so he lets himself slump into Geno’s arms and finally let out everything he’s been holding back.

It takes awhile but Geno sits with him until he’s relatively calm again. When he finally pulls away it’s to get tissues to offer to Sid. He disappears for a moment and reemerges with another wet washcloth and pauses just to make sure Sid’s okay with it before he gently wipes his face again. Once he’s done with that he settles in again and says quietly, “Will you tell me?”

Sid doesn’t have to ask what he means. “It’s just… It’s a lot of things.”

“I a have lot of time.” Geno’s soft smile sets Sid a little more at ease so he takes a sip of water and sighs before launching into the description of his day, the stress of being twenty one and pregnant, the issues he’s having with his doctor, the frustration of constant nausea and exhaustion— all of it. Once he starts it’s hard to stop and the only thing he holds back are his financial concerns because he doesn’t want Geno to think he’s asking for money.

Geno listens attentively, frowning here and there, nodding from time to time but he really listens and it means so much, Sid could almost cry again but he manages to hold it together.

When he’s finally finished dumping all his frustrations he looks up with wide eyes. “Oh god, Geno, I’m sorry.”

“Why you sorry? You not have to apologize for have feelings. This a lot to deal with! Lot of stress, lot of issues. I know we not together but not mean I’m not be here for you.”

Sid wants to protest but instead he nods and looks at Geno. “I don’t know what to say. It’s just been really hard and there’s no one really to talk to who gets it and just… Thank you.”

Geno offers him a soft smile. “Is how it should be, okay? You can always talk to me.”

Sid smiles and murmurs, “Thanks,” again and means it.

“You think you can eat something?”

“Probably. As long as it’s not fish.”

Geno laughs and shakes his head. “Okay.” He slips the long forgotten clean t-shirt into Sid’s hands with a smile. “You change, will feel better. I’m cook for you. Think you can handle chicken and noodle? Some veggie?”

Sid nods, feeling pitiful.

Geno’s right. Sid changes into the clean shirt and washes his face. After he brushes his teeth, he realizes he does feel better and he’s pretty sure it’s not just because he’s gotten a chance to clean up.

In the kitchen he finds Geno at the stove, stirring a large pot. “Is soup,” he says, smiling. “My Mama’s recipe. Always keep some in freezer. Best for making feel better.”

Sid feels a rush of affection at the sheer thoughtfulness of the gesture and he wishes he could do something, anything for Geno in return.

They watch TV as they eat together and it’s really nice. Geno doesn’t give Sid any crap for the amount of soup he inhales and waves him off when he tries to help clean up.

The last thing Sid remembers is Geno leaving the room to make tea. The next thing he’s aware of is Geno’s voice, low and deep, speaking softly. “Sid. Hey Sid.” He feels Geno’s hand, gentle on his arm and blinks his eyes open slowly.

“Geno?” he garbles out, struggling to keep his eyes open.

Geno smiles softly at him. “Got guest bed ready for you.”

“M’sorry. Didn’t mean to fall asleep. I should go.”

Geno frowns. “You too tired to drive, not safe. Stay here tonight. I get you up when you need to be, make sure you get to work on time.”

“M’off tomorrow.”

“Then you sleep in, I make you breakfast when you wake up.”

Sid lets Geno help him to his feet and guide him up the stairs to the guest room where the covers are already turned down. “Sleep as long as need. I’m at end of hall if you need anything.”

“Are you sure this is okay?” Sid bites at his bottom lip. He’s so tired and all he wants right now is to lay down and sleep and sleep and sleep. But he doesn’t want to impose on Geno or overstep any boundaries.

Geno just smiles again and pats Sid’s arm. “Of course, okay. You sleep, I’m make best breakfast tomorrow, okay?”

“Thanks, Geno.”

“You always welcome here, Sid. Anytime, day or night. Mean that.”

Once he’s gone it takes Sid about ten seconds to shuck his pants before he melts into the fluffy bed. He’s asleep between one blink and the next.

Part 10

#Take My Hand #my fic #mpreg #sidgeno #rpf #part 9 #Some fluff to enjoy #Fixed the weird copy issue.

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amaliaonly · 3 years

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Hello September! (eh late to the partyy)

We are left with less than 2 weeks till October and it's the last 3 months of 2021. We always say that time flew by so fast, but really time did fly by so quickly. The memories I had with my ex colleagues having CNY Lunch treat together is still fresh in my memory as if it happens just last week ago. When time pass by so slow, we count the number of hours left till we can either get home from work or count the number of minutes that we are waiting for our name to be called during an appointment. But when things are crazy busy or when you are watching a movie, or when you are just having fun, sleeping whole day, time just got lost in a blink of an eye.

To me this is scary seeing how time fly so fast as I get older. This means death is just nearer and nearer. I wanted to pen down the experience that I have where I think about death every single day for that period. It was early June this year. Remember the health problem or worriedness I was feeling in my earlier post, apparently the Doctor diagnose me with dyspepsia. It's nothing serious really, and can be treated. Dyspepsia is a symptom for someone who regularly experience pain in the upper abdomen after eating or who regularly experience heartburn. My chest will get painful after every meal. I thought I was going to have a heart attack.

Let me share the experience I had leading me to have the thought that I was going to die. Just for my own self reminder.

I remember it was a Sunday night, after I ate Mee Rebus (home cooked meal). Previously I have this habit of eating very late. Like I will eat after Isya and I will not eat for as long as I have not completed my Isya prayers. So usually I'll eat dinner at 9pm ish to 10pm and me being a slow eater I will finish my meal in an hour or an hour and a half. By 11pm I was already laying down on my bed and will fall asleep by 2ish am. Cos that period WFH mah so my bed time haywire. As I was laying down, suddenly I felt my chest being compressed. I was already having heart burn that night (my heartburn can be 3-4 times a week and can carry on till the next day) and suddenly the tightness in my chest was worrying. I thought it was due to my end of period that was causing the breast/chest pain. I sat down, say a prayer and calm myself down. I could not sleep that night.

Long story cut short, it was a tiring, sleepless, worrying 1 month. A lot of things went through, some nights I do not know what was happening to me, whether I was having panic attacks cos I was listening to the NJU podcast on Nadia M Din experience. She experiences shortness of breath and had the thinking her life was going to be taken away. But for me it was not panic attacks, though I thought it was cos I could still breathe properly just that my chest was tight. My chest pains weren't getting any better during that month. I had difficulty burping and will constantly have this painful mini heart attacks (or heart pain) like it was electrocuted/squeeze for a while but it only lasted like seconds and it was gone. My whole left arm was just sore and tight for that month. I had difficulty bathing as the pain went to the back of my body and I was experiencing back pain after every bath.

That is when I decided to go for a full body checkup to find out what's wrong with me. So yeah due to obesity, the food I ate and unhealthy lifestyle was the cause of my pains for that scary one month. Having the thought that I was going to die anytime was scary and stressful. Those sleepless, crying nights, feeling fatigue and worried plus work was really tough too hais. Oh the Doc also advise me to get vaccinated from Hepatitis B cos apparently I got detected at its early stages. (Ya Allah. I am still dreading this till this very day. Cos I don't like the effects after being injected.) Aside from that, Alhamdulillah everything else is better.

I went for a massage to remove all the trap air inside me and BEKAM. The syiokness painful feeling of Bekam. I L.O.V.E it. I changed my eating pattern and to stop eating by 8.30pm and even tried Intermittent fasting. I started to go for hikes and committed to go every weekend both Sat and Sun if can with my friends. Or at least go out somewhere during the weekends. Cos I am a home person and I would stay home during weekends and just lay in bed. Not healthy especially when I spent the last 5 days WFH. Time to change this.

So yeah June was a scary experience for me. This taught me to always think about Allah every second and every part of our life throughout the day. Like the moment you wake up, thank Allah. The moment you eat, thank Allah for the food. When you reach work safely, thank Allah you got there safely and before you start work, pray and ask Allah to make it easy for you during work and may the work you do bring good benefits to others. This experience also taught me that death is just nearing. With each passing moments of each day we are just one step closer. Are your deeds enough already? Have you pay back all your fast and all the times you missed prayers? Time will not get any longer or won't be spared. So let's do our best to at least find our more or learn something new about Islam and build our deeds. Help someone out and give sedekah (donations).

This is a reminder for myself and to whoever is reading this. May this sharing helped you in every little way possible. I pray that whoever is reading this, Allah always guide you to the correct path, protect you from the danger of this world. Be protected and away from the bad things and to always keep the iman and faith in your hearts and minds alive and strong.

Hope everybody is staying safe and alright. I want to go back Indo so badly.

All my Love, Fitri.

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drferox · 7 years

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20 Questions with Dr Ferox #21

Looks like it’s time for another round of 20 questions and comments. I’ve tried to tag you all again, but if you asked on Anonymous I have no way of tagging you.

Anonymous said: Do you prefer treating certain animals over others? I'm friends with a few vets and I know one who's pretty much specialized in cats and another who can treat most companion animals but has a strong preference for dogs (good thing dog vet was out hiking with cat vet when cat vet's dog got a face full of porcupine quills lol) .

I do have a preference for cats, we just seem to come to a better mutual understanding, and I'm very softly spoken in person so the cats are less inclined to panic. I used to get along well treating cattle for some reason too, but I'm pretty exclusively in small animal practice these days.

Anonymous said: Does your clinic have a Facebook page? If so - how would you feel if clients posted pictures of their pets to it? My vet recently got my rat through a tough injury and I'd like to post a picture of her now that she's all healed up, but I don't know if that'd be weird or if any of them would even see it.

We love it when it happens. Happy pets with a nice comment on our Facebook page is always welcome. Sometimes we let people email us photos and we post them for us too.

Anonymous said: I know is Aus we're usually told to take injured wildlife to our local vet. Do you mind it, or should they be taken somewhere else instead?

It's perfectly fine for triage, but if somebody brings in an endangered species with a reasonably good prognosis, we'll often recommend it goes to a better equipped clinic for that species. Note very clinic has UV lights for turtles, for example.

Anonymous said: Hello, many years ago I lost my chihuahua to a broken back which I believe stemmed from him jumping onto our couches and beds so often. The experience was very traumatizing for me but now I have another chihuahua who jumps often and I don't often take him to the vet so I was wondering if it is common for smaller dogs to hurt themselves from jumping so often?

To actually break the back would be unusual, but slipping an intervertebral disc so that it prolapses up into the spine is relatively common after jumping off things in tiny dogs.

@justaphage said: I've been wondering about probiotics (this is not a question about the health of my dog, she's getting treatment). Multiple times (and with two different vets) when my dog had diarrhea they gave us a probiotic along with the dewormer or antibiotic and I've been thinking: my doctors never prescribed or suggested that when I'm sick in a similar way. Is there some difference in what we know about dog/human probiotics or is it just a difference of the culture of medicine.

It's probably more a culture of medicine than anything else, but also probiotics are kind of wishy-washy in terms of clinical evidence. There's some evidence to say they're sometimes very useful, but other times not so much. Keep in mind though that dogs are also much more likely to eat poop from other animals and so will be picking up all sorts of intestinal microflora.

Anonymous said: I came across your weed toxicity post for pets and had a question: a friend of mine recently told me he got weed extract for his anxious rescue pet (can't remember if it was a dog or cat) but prescribed by a veterinarian I didn't ask him more about it because I was too confused at the moment, knowing that weed does not have the same effects on dogs and cats as it has on people. do you think this is legit or was he bullshitting me?

It's hard to know, especially given that I have no way of knowing which country you're in, or what your laws in relation to marijuana are. Certainly there are some veterinarians working on cannabinoid extracts with known concentrations and milligram dosages, but if I was told this locally I would be extremely skeptical.

@fallowsthorn said: On the "cats don't usually get round tumors" thing - weirdly enough, our cat has a bunch of them. Our joke is that he gets a new one every time he goes to the vet, because every single time, the tech says something to the effect of "well this isn't normal for cats but...." They're just little bumps of fat, they don't grow, and he doesn't poke at them or seem in pain, but he's got like twenty of them by now and it's super weird.

It is super weird. Cats usually get inflamed fat rather than fatty tumors, but there's always somebody that does things differently.

Anonymous said: Hey Dr Ferox! I'm just asking purely out of curiosity, have you ever had a kitty patient come in with an aural hematoma?

I have once, but I can't remember whether it had been in a fight or had an ear infection, or both. We treated it surgically, the same way as a dog.

@daedricprincessxoxo said: I've decided to start as a technician before becoming a veterinarian, after a CVPM at a big-deal hospital told me how much she recommends it. After ages of financial constraints, I finally began the course to become licensed!! I'm to excited not to share!!!

That is very exciting and great to hear. Best of luck with all of it.

@insatiable-obsession said: Hi I love your blog! It's so informative and real, and I'm trying very hard to get into the vet world (unsuccessfully applied to several vet clinics and hopefully going to vet tech school next year!) I was wondering if you have any advice or opinions on zoo work/zookeeping? Also to give you a fun break from all the vet questions, do you prefer: sunset or sunrise? Camping or going to the beach? Christmas or Halloween? Pen or pencil? Sweet or savory?

I really don't do much with zoos and prefer not to analyse them too much through a veterinary lens, because I want to keep them as something fun. Like everything else in life zookeeping is possible to do very well, and possible to do very badly. You could pop across to @why-animals-do-the-thing for more zookeeping connections.

Anonymous said: I'm so annoyed right now. So ever since my friend got a dog we were trying to get them to get him fixed (her dad who's totally hyper masculine is against neutering) then they got a girl dog and refused to get her fixed (we convinced the mom but not the dad). They tried to rehome the girl earlier in the year and until tonight they've refused to get one of them fixed. Tonight the girl had 9 pups and it's the only thing that convinced them to get her fixed (after she's done nursing) They also are keeping one of the male puppies. The dogs go out on a cable because they don't have a yard. The dogs are big too they're an staff bully breed mixes.

I don't know what to tell you Anon. It's a poor situation for those animals to be in, but I can't tell you anything to make it any better, and as long as their minimum welfare standards are met, the animals can't be seized.

Anonymous said: I am considering harness training a new cat. I have only indoor cats. If I allow my new cat out in a harness will I need to do anything different for care of my indoor cats, because all the cats will be in contact together at home. My indoor cats are up to date on their rabies and distemper vaccines, do they need anything else?

You should call your own vet about what concerns are relevant locally. You are very clearly not local to me and I cannot give you specific veterinary advice, but I suspect parasite control is going to be important for your cats.

Anonymous said:What do you do if your pet dies at home? Like with the body?

Depending on where you are, you can have the option to bury your pet at home, or you can arrange burial or cremation either through a vet clinic or a pet crematorium directly.

Anonymous said: I have a 3.5 month old kitten and he occasionally like tries to eat litter? i use a clay bases non clumping litter and i move him away whenever he starts but like? Could there be a medical reason? Is he just weird? Were taking him to the vet soon to be neutered and im going to ask them then. Thank you!!

There is no way for me to tell whether your kitten it eating litter because it has a nutrient deficiency, an abnormal behavior or is just chewing on things with a novel texture. Hope your vet visit goes well.

Anonymous said: Hi, not sure if you can help, but figure it's worth a shot! I'm in my parasitology class and I'm having the hardest time keeping the Spinose ear tick and the ear mite straight in my head due to their extremely similar scientific names(otobius megnini and otodectes cynotis respectively) and both residing in/around an animals ears, can you offer any advice?

Sorry I don't have any advice for you, other than O. megnini being an overseas parasite and not one I have to deal with.

Anonymous said: I came across your blog while having a nasty bout of heartburn and I got to wondering: can animals suffer from acid reflux or have symptoms similar to GERD in humans? If so, do you know of any cases or treatments?

Small animals can also suffer acid reflux and subsequent oesophageal ulcers. It's particularly common in brachycephalic dogs. There are a variety of potential predisposing causes, some of which are managed medically, but some require surgery. Hiatal hernias are a good example.

@softlyfiercely said: Am curious re: your thoughts on a childhood memory. We had snails in our yard growing up (southwestern USA) and we loved them. My brother & I fed them lettuce & built them little stick-and-leaf villages. Once we brought one inside to show a family friend. He dropped it. Its shell cracked & it looked in bad shape. We were distraught and begged mom to bring it to a vet. She did not. But would a vet have been able to help? How do zoos care for endangered snails? Can snail shells be repaired?

Some clinics equipped for exotics can and will treat snails, but not very often. It's possible to repair small areas of damage to the shell, so long as the body has not been damaged and does not come into contact with any glue or compounds used.

@malted-shark said: Just wanna' say. Sardine sounds like my Basil at the vet. He has aggressive on his chart and they legitimately have to launch a liquid sedative in his mouth. I wish I was kidding. I wish he wasn't such a nightmare at the vet. He's like that at home sometimes too. Particularly, he doesn't like it when things aren't done EXACTLY to his liking and don't dare try to restrain or hell is to be paid. I just let them handle it, I get scared of him.

With cats like this, sometimes all you can and should do is sedate them for an exam. It's stressful for the cat and dangerous for the handler otherwise.

@peaceofpuregold said: As a primary human to two feral (currently not so feral with a lot of patience, training, and good luck in the mix) can confirm at least 70% of the feral cat escape phrases. All I was missing were the washing machine related ones. I might use this to make a bingo card.

If you do make a feral cat bingo card, let us know!

@hesmyboi said: Came for Trashbag, stayed because I adore animals, I like your style, and I'm having fun learning about veterinarian stuff

And we're very pleased to have you here with us. Thank you.

#20 questions

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