#i hope this makes some sense

[jackredfieldwasmyjacob]

i was now thinking about. when i was 12 i wrote a book. my dad works in the printing industry so he printed some copies. my uncle is an artist so he made a cover. we even registered it at a very important looking place! but that was not what i was really thinking about. i was thinking about a sentence one of my uncles said once he read it. he told me the story was good but he wishes i would've set it closer to home.

i remember i got mad at him for that. i set the book in denver, colorado. it just made sense to set the book in a foreign country, with no real idea of how it was there, just because all the media i consumed was from there. if i wanted to make media, it had to be set in that same place. in the media country™️.

every once in a while i remember his sentence. it was at that precise moment when little 12 year old me realised i could just set stuff in places that were familiar to me. in my country. hell, even in my city or town!!! i could do it if i wanted to!! it took that to realise it. and i promised myself to continue doing exactly that !!

with this i'm not saying you should only write about what you know cause that's reductionist and just plain stupid. this is about reminding that, in a world flooded by media produced by one single country, you shouldn't be afraid of setting your stories in places closer to you, even if you don't think it's worth it or makes sense or it won't appeal to anyone. please.

[gatheredfates]

🎵 It's hard to choose an oc so dealer's choice! Pick one you're dying to share!

I thought about linking one of Sarrai's death-related songs but, on considering it, I thought that would make it too easy. It's pretty obvious on meeting her that she's obsessed with death, necromancy and bone collecting, but another huge part of her persona I love to explore is the horror associated with hypersexuality and femininity.

Sarrai as a character is seeped in femininity — she cloaks herself in a layer of pink and pastel that is disarming to people who first meet her; they think to themselves, 'oh, she's a young woman, she doesn't know any better' all the while, she has been tutored by her father to be a viper in the den. She plays on those preconceptions of femininity; that she must be darling, sweet, kind... but, in donning herself in pretty jewels, furs and makeup she must be naïve. There are characters, whether by their own volition or by how their players see the world, treat her like a bratty child... and she does nothing to assuage their opinion. She wants them to underestimate her — to think they can take advantage of her — because it makes it all the sweeter when she eviscerates them.

God make me pretty, you made me mean. Hate me because I'm beautiful; bitch, I don't like you either. Tell me how my ass tastes little bottom feeder!

With a lot of femininity, including traditional/pastel femininity, there is an undertone of innocence. Sarrai knows the horrors of the world in her own past; it is a deliberate choice for her to try and be 'palatable' in her conduct. So many people, however, try to push that down. They try to undermine her confidence, challenge her beliefs or condescend her because they're 'realists'. They see her focus on beauty and decay as strange and otherworldly. They don't think she takes it seriously, or that she is desecrating or being disrespectful. In spite of this, she will still try to be sweet and explain her stance until the point she realises there is no point, and then she will be cruel. She refuses to be underestimated because she chooses this line of femininity, though she is constantly bemused at how often that is the default. Either her innocence needs to be kept, or it needs to be ripped from her. There is no in between.

Sexy, cute, popular to boot Cup of Drano, lips turn blue Filler, snip and glue Am I fuckable enough for you?

There's a horror in that choice, right? If you play right into the pastel, pink 'cute' femininity, you have to accept that people will see you as a sex object. Sarrai knows this. She's also not opposed to it. But if you want to fuck her, you have to accept all of her — not pick and choose or try to mould her out of it. You have to look at the skulls on the walls and watch her wade through the muck of her mushroom collection and not be daunted by it. She has the filler, the snip and the glue because she wants it; she is mortified by the concept that other women might do it under the whim of a man. She knows, in the end, we're all going to die. What is the point of trying to appeal to a future corpse when she can live for herself and what she wants?

I'm not a girl, I'm a swarm of bees. Wrapped in a skinsuit, perfect teeth.

And that's like... the point, y'know? Femininity and sexuality deserve to be a choice: something personable that you feel, experience and give to the world; not something that is forced or expected of you. Sarrai is a girl, but she is also not a girl. She is beautiful and plays right into the concept of womanhood, but she is also just a meat sack with a bone interior like everyone else. It is important to her that she is no less feminine in high fashion sitting to her father's right than she is covered in muck after summoning a bone construct from a bog. They call it mother nature.

[noa-ciharu]

It's me 😎😎 with the ship questions-----// i bet you know which pair i will ask(?)

Ofc I know ;D

Ship it like FedEx

1) What made you ship them?

Actually once I got into X fandom I started shipping fuukam by default. I mean:

I'd be a fool to miss all that homoeroticism. However I didn't start shipping fuukam for real until I reread X last spring. It's a little bit complex what made me ship them so much and it overlaps with what's my favorite thing about them so I'll explain there.

2) What's your favorite thing about them?

In all honestly? Complexity of their relationship.

Of course, this is partially due to plot of X and particularly due to their dynamic.

What always got to me about their early X relationship was how tender and based on comfort it was. Kamui is someone with fear share of troubles, both imposed by his fate as Kamui and ones induced by his personality (and trauma). Yet even when he pushes those he cares about away he still craves comfort - which Fuuma provided effortlessly. Also most of the time Fuuma couldn't rly solve all of Kamui's problems but he often promised to protect Kamui in whichever way he could; also was physically very affectionate. Really, the number of times they've touched over few volumes prior to Fuuma's transformation is ridiculous. They just can't keep hands of one another, and not just in sexual manner, but rather gentle and comforting way of touching. Physical touch is love language of theirs

However once Kamui chose his fate and Fuuma fell into role of Dragon of Earth, their relationship took on a rather tainted and complex turn. And while it's easy to say homoerotic aspects of their late X relationship are most intriguing I'd disagree on that - it's the yearning and devotion that truly got me hooked onto fuukam

Despite all the pain and tragedy Kamui had been through, he still cannot give up on Fuuma. Obsessive and maladjusted emotional response yes, but X at its core is a story about deeply troubled and tragically individuals. In Clamp's works, having a wish translates to having a reason to live. If Kamui were to give up on Fuuma he wouldn't have anything to push him forward, nothing he would wish for. Hence even in moments of doubt, even when Fuuma hurts him and those around him, Kamui cannot stop wishing.

Now what's interesting is that Kamui is the only one who insists doe!Kamui is 'Fuuma' so it's sort of rly complex love triangle situation: Kamui years for old Fuuma and refuses to accept person in front of himself. Which leads me to another question: what is doe!Kamui precisely? And that's a million dollars question because X is unfortunately on hiatus

Alright, it was clear as day Kamui was obsessed/yearning for Fuuma, but what about doe!Kamui?

It's his expression when he thinks about Kamui that speak the most.

My working theory is that Fuuma's wish is for Kamui to continue existing no matter what (similar to what Yuuko wishes for Watanuki); that Kamui prioritizes himself first and actually wishes to live for himself. Because in process of loving 'Fuuma', Kamui lost sight of himself and ended up hurting Fuuma in process. Now I don't have answer for why doe!Kamui hurt Kamui in the first place, but if theory of doe!Kamui representing Kamui's subconsciousness/shadow self is correct, then it's possible part of Kamui's self-destructiveness is portrayed that way. Or doe!Kamui's version of 'love' involves trauma for life...

So yes, it's the psychological aspects of their twisted relationship that's most intriguing to me. Doe!Kamui is someone who's akin to Judgment arcana, someone who's above humanity (while possessing little of humanity himself - his connection to Kamui) and has insight into their psyche. He has tremendous of awareness of human's nature as well as self awareness. Kamui on other hand, he's in denial about own wish; it's probably so ego dystonic for him to conscious think about that he pushed it deep into subconsciousness. Doe!Kamui wants him to realize that wish, as well as accept him as other Kamui, rather than 'Fuuma'.

So many questions, not enough answers 😭 I'm a brainstormer so I doubt I'll ever move from this fandom until I get proper answers for what was going on with Fuuma and Kamui, be it via clamp or some amazing fan theory

Also im forever in love with the way 'Fuuma' looks at Kamui here:

Such emotional and conflicting expression I cri ;-;

3) do you have any unpopular opinion about them?

Hmm, not really about their relationship per se, but I wouldn't count theories I had about various X plot stuff because I don't even see X theories nowadays 😂😭 so I wouldn't even know if it's popular or unpopular opinion to have. I once read theory that deep down Kamui's wish was to bring destruction to the world and even if there's nothing too solid in canon to confirm that theory kinda stuck with me.

But beside that I sort of noticed fuukam isn't rly popular in clamp fandom? Honestly at times when I post about them or write fics I sometimes feel like in screaming into void ;-; I get X fandom is old and that ships like fuukam aren't everyone's cup of tea, but I wish fuukam was at least a little bit more popular; like on douwata level maybe, maybe even seisub level of popularity would be fine. X is one of clamp's most popular series, I get that fandom isn't enormous but sometimes it feel like a graveyard 😔 on other hand I'm always pleasantly surprised whenever I see fan arts, headcanons or fics about fuukam (or even just Fuuma).

[bookswebothdrowned]

Has anyone seen The Bastard Son and the Devil Himself? If you did, the decimation power in the show, how it's visually depicted... that's how listening to Farewell Wanderlust makes me feel. That and, the first time I heard the song,there was some other feeling/emotion as well, but there probably isn't a word for it,cause listening to TAD makes me feel undiscovered emotions.

(On a side note,I wanted to write today but I just didn't find the strength and inspiration to. There probably won't be any writings for two weeks at least. I am sorry, I really want to continue and eventually finish the list of prompts, I really do. But I am not in a good place mentally right now and just.... can't. I'm sorry.)

[sigmadolos]

Anonymous said: did the new episode disappoint you? why do you miss the old days?

I've never answered an ask on mobile before so hopefully this doesn't look terrible or break everything. But figured I would try while I'm on my lunch break.

First though, I am happy for people who enjoyed it. So no hate to anyone who did! But for me personally, yeah, it did disappoint me. I was already very skeptical of it because I naturally am when an anime gets ahead of the source material, hence I'm waiting to really share any thoughts till the Manga to see if itll be the same or diverge.

I'm mainly disappointed but not surprised by the lack of consequences. No one really seems to die except for those from the past and one here or there as we see. Obviously I seriously doubted that Dazai would die, as did most of the fandom as far as I've seen. But that's the thing. It was supposed to be dramatic and shocking but it really wasn't. Especially for manga readers who thought Nikolai was gone forever and then nope he's fine. Anime only viewers ever got that long period. It's just that time after time, there's never any REAL consequences. These life and death situations are presented but they basically never REALLY are. Which to be fair, I suppose was very heavily obvious given Naomi surviving all the way back in like the second or third episode. But it makes me just go "eh okay" to what SHOULD be a big deal because...it never is. Not with the main cast but even a lot of the side characters too. And I know we have the Fyodor bit but I have Doubts on that. Outside of maybe legitimately losing an arm. Maybe.

And Chuuya knowing everything and faking it, everything loses so much value to it and cheapens a lot of moments. Now it wasn't really a trial or anything of the sort. The speeches meant nothing, it was all just...nothing. like don't get me wrong, I like SKK team ups, I adore them. But the fact it...wasn't really serious for them is disappointing.

These are just some of my initial thoughts about it, and just my opinion. I guess the fact a lot of my other series have also been doing stuff like this (or gone absolutely off the rails) has just makes me more disappointed as well. In regards to the old days, I just miss before when I was ACTUALLY concerned or worried when things happened, when moments had their impact. BSD has a special place in my heart, and it always will, but it's been a long time since things had impact like when I first joined the fandom way back when. And again, no hate or anything to anyone who enjoyed it! I'm glad they can! I just personally didn't.

[erthlyheavn]

Dash has got me thinking about this but Beelzebub genuinely has no need for contracts. And I think that, among many other benefits is what makes being in her employment so enticing and sought after.

And any hellborns and the extremely rare sinner are able to get an equal opportunity shot at any job. She doesn't care about class or species. All she cares about is if someone can do their job and do it right. And there are many benefits that comes along with working for Beelzebub specifically. But one of them is her protection. You work for Beelzebub? You're virtually untouchable. Not many people would fuck with someone who worksdirectly under a sin.

She's also a very generous employer who genuinely values loyalty among all else. However, it doesn't need to be said but it's pretty well known in Gluttony that once you set foot into her palace, your life is in her hands. If someone so much as crosses or betray her in any way?

Their life becomes forfeit. None of her other employees will try to help nor will they have any sympathy. Because really, the person in question should have really known better and well, that just means a position has just opened up.

[stil-lindigo]

frankly, the people whose kneejerk reaction to bisan asking for a global strike form the 21st-28th is to say that it takes years to organize a general strike are really unhelpful! no one is saying otherwise, but palestine will be a smoking crater if we all wait for years to do anything - bisan is asking us to do something now. Like are we only supposed to do something if we can do it perfectly??? At some point it’s a valid critique about the work that goes into social movement, and at another point I feel like some people are just trying to absolve themselves from not putting any effort into observing a week of economic inaction.

like idk! I get it, okay! People have bills to pay that don’t magically go away for a strike, we don’t have nearly enough social infrastructure in place to support people to fully stop going to work for a week. But fuck, dude! Stop immediately responding in such a defeatist way! Cut out unnecessary purchases! Try to shop local! Put more effort into promoting Palestinian voices online! Attend a protest, call a local rep, do something!

[chloesimaginationthings]

These clown animatronics in FNAF wild as hell..

[helladventurers]

I'm realizing another pet peeve of mine is that, in a lot of stories that talk about light vs darkness/good vs evil as opposing primal forces of nature that need to be in balance, people always talk about how darkness/evil is the force trying to upset the balance, but if you look at the world and think about it for a bit, light/good is absolutely the dominant force and darkness tends to be extremely underrepresented and mostly being attributed to a small villainous minority, so the idea of the conflict ends up coming as extremely insincere and almost comes across as you being manipulated to keep the forces of light in control in a world that is already dominated by it 💀

[mwagneto]

hungarian/nomadic magyar tumblr circa 998AD dashboard simulator

🏞️ vándor-ló-979 Follow

not yall still spreading emese's foundation myth??? she literally claims she fucked a bird????? like either she's lying or she cheated and she's trying to cover it up or well. i dont even want to consider the third option

🪺 magánügyek Follow

tengri forbid women do anything???

735 notes

🦅 szél-könnyű-szárnyán-szállj Follow

okay im sick of the discourse let's do this.

8,572 notes

🐎 istván-rovására Follow

that took so long lmao -> !!!!!!!∧◇ᛏ⋈∧

481 notes

🐴 csillagösvény Follow

i'm so serious rn if you support """istván""" in any way just unfollow and block me. we do NOT need him or his dumbass god and what he's been doing to our people to spread his religion is shameful.

🐴 csillagösvény Follow

btw we all know your real name is vajk stop larping as a christian it's EMBARRASSINGGGG

✝️ esztergom-örökké Follow

love seeing my mutuals reblogging this /s anyway op has multiple posts on their blog supporting quartering and human sacrifice. in case you were wondering. anyway stand with István

🐴 csillagösvény Follow

1) we dont even do human sacrifices, are you fucking stupid??? show me ONE post where i talk about that. 2) are you seriously forgetting that your bestie istván LITERALLY QUARTERED HIS UNCLE?????

#sorry to put this dumbass on the dash😭 dont even engage just block them #ur not making it up the tree of life lmao #discourse

3,264 notes

🌅 bolygó-kárpáti Follow

friendly reminder that just because you're white passing doesn't mean you're not a real magyar!! people with mixed parents are just as valid <3

🏇 attila-népe Follow

cranky coz ur ancestors decided to mix with the europeans arent you

🧺 lemezelő Follow

isnt your girlfriend literally frankish????

🏇 attila-népe Follow

you had to have done some serious stalking to find that💀 and first of all i didn't have a choice, my parents picked the tribe, and second of all she's not my "girlfriend" i got her via ritual kidnapping (WITH consent. before anyone gets weird)

🌐 a-kiber-kovács Follow

Couldn't you have kidnapped another magyar woman? Or someone from another mongoloid tribe?

🔅 hadúrsimp Follow

ohh sure so now human pet guy is gonna chime in to advocate for the kidnapping of our women while being lowkey racist. what are you even doing on nomadblr????

🌅 bolygó-kárpáti Follow

what the fuck happened to my post

19,276 notes

🪔 rakabonciás Follow

for the nth time, you're only a true shaman if you were born with teeth OR with extra fingers OR in the sac. the rest of you are faking & we can tell.

🦅szél-könnyű-szárnyán-szállj Follow

okay people keep spreading this but this is literally just wrong?? like congrats on the 6 fingers op im glad u and Little Golden Father have a special connection (genuinely) but like. táltos and sámán and mágus and garabonciás and javas etc are all different things with completely different requirements and life paths which you should definitely know if you're claiming to be one?? especially since your post says shaman but you're listing the criteria for a táltos, and your username looks like a play on garabonciás so. which is it🤔 maybe get your facts in order before trying to gatekeep

anyway don't listen to op!! your connection to the Upper World is yours alone and you're the best judge of what the Fathers and Mothers want your path in life to be!!

646 notes

🛐 mea-culpa Follow

It breaks my heart that the majority of my people still refuse to see the One True God and insist on sticking to their pagan spirits. I fear that when judgement day comes, we will all be wiped out thanks to their foul godless ways.

🐴 csillagösvény Follow

how tf am i godless when i literally have dozens of gods? little mothers and little fathers are in everything all around us & it must suck ass to live in a world where you're not surrounded by the small gods that inhabit everything. manifesting that the fene and the guta tag team beat your ass tonight

🔅 hadúrsimp Follow

hadúr will literally strike op down personally. he told me himself. whispered it to me sweetly even

🐴 csillagösvény Follow

while i agree with you, i feel like you might also have ulterior motives, nomadblr user hadúrsimp

#but live your truth! doubly so on the posts of these freak repressed bible lovers. meanwhile on the #COOL side of magyarhood we walk around butt ass naked!!! op have fun never experiencing joy ever again tho #discourse

198 notes

👑 sanctus-stephanus Follow

posting from an alt so i don't get cancelled but lowkey i'm starting to think koppány was right.... maybe this christianity thing isn't gonna work out after all

👑 sanctus-stephanus Follow

WRONG BLOG

👑 sanctus-stephanus Follow

THIS WAS A JOKE. IGNORE THIS

🪺 magánügyek Follow

ISTVÁN????????????? 💀

[alfheimr]

the selkie sea captain and the seashell that sings a song of home.

i started this comic last year before my hand surgery and finally got around to finishing it! whew! i wanted to finish it in may because i intended this as a sort of mermay thing but now im realizing im not sure if selkies count for that. well, they do in My Heart.

[somnimagus]

My page for @sheikahzine; about Impaz's duty to her village, empty of people and full of memories.

[id in alt text]

[thetisming]

amatonormativity: a romantic partner should be the most important person in EVERYONE'S life

NOT amatonormativity: MY romantic partner is the most important person in MY life, but i understand this is not the same for other people

allosexnormativity: EVERYONE should have sex and sex is something EVERYONE needs/wants/should want

NOT allosexnormativity: I PERSONALLY enjoy sex and love having sex because it makes ME feel good, but other people dont feel the same and that's okay

platonormativity: having friends is important for EVERYONE and EVERYONE needs/has/should have friends

NOT platonormativity: having friends is important to ME and I PERSONALLY love having friends, but there are people who dont and theres nothing wrong with that

faminormativity (is that the word?): family is important for EVERYONE and EVERYONE needs to have their family

NOT faminormativity: family is important to ME and I PERSONALLY need my family with me, but other people dont feel the same and i understand that

lovenormativity (again, not sure if this is a word): EVERYBODY feels love and there's something wrong wiith you if you dont

NOT lovenormativity: I PERSONALLY feel love and love people, but not everyone does and that's completely okay!

NOT amatonormativity: i dont have friends/have any desire to have friends, i am happy with other relationships/no relationships at all

NOT platonormativity: i dont have any desire to be in a romantic relationships, and i am happy with my platonic relationships

NOT allosexnormativity: i like hooking up with people and having one night stands or friends with benefits

NOT faminormativity: i care about my family deeply and am close with family members

NOT lovenormativity: i feel love for people i care about

it's not normative to personally enjoy something, so long as you respect that other people simply arent like you and aren't going to like the same things as you. taking down normativity is a two way street, allos and aspecs need to do it. support your local aros, aces, apls, afams and other aspecs today! remember to challange all normativities, and to not enforce other normativity by saying how bullshit other normativities are!

nothing is universal. romance is not universal. sex is not universal. friendship is not universal. family is not universal. love is not universal. nothing is universal.

[noa-ciharu]

If we cast aside all ruthless, selfish, manipulative etc. stuff for a moment, sometimes I think about how actually sad and lonely Seishirou's life is.

Yes, that man's.

He's innately afraid of very thing he craves the most subconsciously: feeling connected to someone. And I like how he was never able to leave that (schizoid) split because conflict is so primordial it can never be resolved: he's forever stuck in the loop of deep craving he's unconscious of (hence very reason he made the bet in the first place) and just as unconcious fear of negative emotions and feeling of being 'caged' by them as result of caring for someone/something (resulting in him adopting 'I can't feel emotions' attitude as extremely sophisticated defense mechanism). To someone with that splitting view of reality every emotion towards another person equivalents to vulnerability and danger; which translates into defencelessness and general negative affect (which was never differenced); mature ways of dealing with negative emotions were ever developed hence every negative emotion is felt in extremely primal, intense and disoriented ways. Of course he'd do anything to prevent evoking said emotions in the first place.

It's the void that cannot be filled, primal loneliness that no amount of hedonism (nicotine addiction, his sweet tooth, rich lifestyle, eye for beauty etc.) can satisfy. Perhaps deep down he was looking for the 'cure' to inner conflicts he consciously wasnt aware of. But at same time part of him that views emotions as vulnerability and connections as prisons kicks in and never actually allows him consider if Subaru meant something to him on conscious level. Because accepting that would be equivalent of (ego) death. Split between "deeply embedded need for connection" and "need for emotional self sufficiency" would collapse and he'd have no way of getting out of it. And pride won't allow him to crumble and admit 'defeat' to what little of humanity he has left.

In that way Seishirou representing metaphor for larger than life Tokyo that seduces you with its beauty and intrigue but is actually empty and uncaring at core - it fits him to the T. Because no matter comes to pass, he remains unchanged. Must remain at status quo because anything else would be beginning of his end. In this essay I will -

[cosmosnout]

Girliesss

[anemonet]

this bad boy can fit so much sick symbolisms