#why did I see a post with thousands of notes on it talking about how it doesn’t make sense to be asking for this sort of action
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frankly, the people whose kneejerk reaction to bisan asking for a global strike form the 21st-28th is to say that it takes years to organize a general strike are really unhelpful! no one is saying otherwise, but palestine will be a smoking crater if we all wait for years to do anything - bisan is asking us to do something now. Like are we only supposed to do something if we can do it perfectly??? At some point it’s a valid critique about the work that goes into social movement, and at another point I feel like some people are just trying to absolve themselves from not putting any effort into observing a week of economic inaction.
like idk! I get it, okay! People have bills to pay that don’t magically go away for a strike, we don’t have nearly enough social infrastructure in place to support people to fully stop going to work for a week. But fuck, dude! Stop immediately responding in such a defeatist way! Cut out unnecessary purchases! Try to shop local! Put more effort into promoting Palestinian voices online! Attend a protest, call a local rep, do something!
#like am I going insane#why did I see a post with thousands of notes on it talking about how it doesn’t make sense to be asking for this sort of action#it doesn’t make SENSE?#like god! I hope you’re taking other more sensible courses of action then!#fucks sake man#bisan is living through a waking nightmare and some of you are so pedantic and miserly#palestine#free Palestine
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Daily fish fact #6 444 205
Fish!

The fish like to have a little drink :) Sadly as they drink the water around them they also drink their own pee, and that is the curse that they will have to live with for the rest of their life
#fish #fishfact #fish facts #fishblr #biology #zoology
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🪼 clovergonads follow




Tasseled wobbegong women >>>>>>>>>>>
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bitch those are goosefish
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🐚 seashell-on-the-seashore follow
Say what you want about fishblr updates, but I think this format for reblubs is a wonderful improvement over the previous one. One of the only times staff did good.
🐚 seashell-on-the-seashore
@featherstar53 If reblub chains got too long, new reblubs would start appearing as darker and darker until you couldnt see the text anymore. It mimicked how light disappears as you go deeper in the ocean but the sunken code this webbedsite runs on never set a cap for how dark it gets, so eventually you would have to copy ad paste the text on the reblubs onto somewhere to read them.
🐍 swamplamprey follow
It sounds fake but it's true! You can still find some older fishblr post screenshots with this effect:
This even went for full abyssal mode users! In their case, the text would slowly turn from white to dark blue, effectively making it impossible to read against the black background.
🦞 fastest-claw-in-the-west follow
I think it would be super funny if they brought this back but for individual posts. Like the reblubs stay the same colour but the posts themselves get gradually and gradually darker until you can't see them anymore lol. It would be disastrous but also funny and it might finally stop some of you frys from being so addicted to this webbedsite
#im all for a bit of chaos lol #treasure trove: talking tag
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🌿 invertlike-behaviour follow
Okay for the record. My eyes are Red because I'm a COMMON ROACH! RUTILUS RUTILUS! It's not because I smoke seaweed!
🌿 invertlike-behaviour
Okay Yes I smoke seaweed all day. But the specific reason my eyes are red is Not That
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🦈 spiritually-placoderm follow
🫧 surgeonsturgeon follow
OP you forgot brackish water and the option for inhabiting both
🦈 spiritually-placoderm
Shut your inferior ass mouth up
🫧 surgeonsturgeon
#(i couldnt find the actual gif i wanted to use but this weird tiger shark will have to do) #(not sure why his fins look like that)
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☀️ slenderfish follow
"ocean sunfish have over 40 parasite species" factoid actualy just statistical error. average ocean sunfish is infected with only one or two parasites. Parasites Georg, the mola who suffers from every ailment known to fish and has over 1 000 000 000 parasite species infesting his flesh and organs, is an outlier adn should not have been counted
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🪷 trout-about-you follow

Selfieeeee :3 (ignore the two sea lampreys attached to my flesh)
🪲 toebiter follow
how did you take the picture you aren't holding your phone
🪷 trout-about-you
The sea lamprey on the left took it for me
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🔲 salmonidae-supremacy-deactivated


FISH USED TO MIGRATE THOUSANDS OF MILES TO BREED. WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS!!!!
IN MY DAY PUSSFISH LIKE THIS WOULD GET EATEN ALIVE BY REAL RIVER MONSTERS FOR BREAKFAST.
🐟 darting-action follow
these are Siamese fighting fish bruh.... They don't have migration as part of their life cycle lmao
🔲 salmonidae-supremacy-deactivated
OF COURSE THE YOUTH CAN'T PUNCTUATE THEIR SENTENCES PROPERLY. I SHOULDN'T EXPECT SO MUCH FROM THE SOFT FRY THEY ARE. ALWAYS GETTING RILED UP!
🔲 skip-hopper-deactivated
Ignore this guy, @darting-action. He's well known for saying offensive nonsense like this, I think he's bait and trying to get someone to bite.
🔲 salmonidae-supremacy-deactivated
YOU MUST BE ONE OF THOSE INBRED DOMESTIC SCUM OR HATCHED YESTERDAY SINCE YOU ENTIRELY LACK THICK SCALES. I SPEAK THE TRUTH AND ONLY THE TRUTH. IF YOU GET TRIGGERED THEN THAT'S NATURAL SELECTION, SON. YOU SHOULD FIGHT ME IN REAL LIFE.
🔲 walrus-tits-in-my-mouth-deactivated
You really dont know a thing about natural selection, do you? Bettas have flashy fins because they have to seem threatening to possible competitors. They don't migrate so they aren't built for that. They're built for living in ponds and marshes, low oxygen environments, and by cod, they are built for fighting territorial battles! You shouldn't underestimate a fish literally called fighting fish. They're very tough and hardy fish and can even send larger fish fleeing!
🔲 salmonidae-supremacy-deactivated
SIAMESE FLAILING PUSSFISH HAVE LADY FINS BECAUSE THEY'RE WEAK AND SOFT AND HAD HUMANS DECIDE WHO THEY BREED WITH FOR THEM. THEIR QUOTE UNQUOTE "FIGHTING PROWESS" SURE DIDN'T SAVE THEM FROM BEING PRISSY LITTLE PRINCESS FISHIES FOR LITTLE KIDS DID IT? THE INDUBIDABLE FACT IS THAT THEY'RE MUSKIE FOOD.
🔲 iknowthecrabbypattysecretformula-deactivated
Wait a minute... I recongize that picture on the right! That's from @betta-than-this 's OnlyFins! How did you get that picutre hmmm? Salmonidae? How on Ocean did you gain access huh?
🐠 betta-than-this follow
"Indubidable" is a pretty specific word to use. This you @salmonidae-supremacy-deactivated?
🔲 iknowthecrabbypattysecretformula-deactivated
LMAOOOOOO GOTTEMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
🔲 aquarium-life-deactivated
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
🐟 darting-action
woag i never saw this entire chain before until it hit me on my dashboard. Why does this have so many notes
Thanks fishblr user walrus tits in my mouth for biology info i didn't know
🫖 burgle-the-turts follow
Woah woah woah we're just gonna ignore this guy using p*ssfish as an insult!!???? THE CATFISH SLUR????????? No one is going to bring this up!!!!!???????
🔲 tilapia11128-deactivated
does anyone in this thread smoke seaweed
🌊 herringageposts follow
date of origin: 28th of august, 2017
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🟧 sponsored
Suffering all alone, handsome?
No need to anymore.


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Reblub with your favorite snack in the tags! I’ll go first: coral polyps! :}
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#as for me #my fave is definitely my lower set of teeth when they shed #crumchy :D
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA STUPID HUMAN DROPPED ITS ELECTRONIC CAMERA IN THE LAKE!!!!!!!! NEVER GETTING THAT BACK BUB!!!!!! I'M TELLING ALL MY ISOPOD AND MUSSEL FRIENDS AND THEY'RE GONNA LIVE INSIDE IT!!!!!
🧑 official-human-posts follow
ofishal human post
#ofishal human post #this post contains humans
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🦦 hellofromtheotterslide follow
Wait, how come this site is called fishblr and not something like oceanblr or aquablr? Wouldn't that be more inclusive?
👑 goldielocks follow
I believe the name "fishblr" pays homage to the meaning of the word where just about everything in the water was considered a fish. It's why we have words like "shellfish", "whalefish", "jellyfish", "starfish".
Personally aquablr would work really well, too. There's a sizeable amphibious userbase on here.
🦐 worldwideshrimp follow
You forgot whale shark! Those arent fish either but are called fish
👑 goldielocks
....Whale sharks are fish. They are sharks. It's in the name.
🦎 eye-of-newt follow
But I thought it was a whale named after sharks? WHALE shark! Why else would they put whale up first?
👑 goldielocks
A whale named after a shark would be called a shark whale. You can take one look at a whale shark and see that, with its gills and fish tail, it is a shark.
⚪️ number1-seacucumber-ass-enjoyer-77 follow
Wait, then what about baby whales? Are those whales named after babies?
👑 goldielocks
If you're talking about the actual whale babies, then yeah. If you mean the mormyrids, small aquatic animals that can sense electricity, then no, those are fish. Sometimes names are inaccurate to what the animal really is.
🌌 themanta1234 follow
If you think about it, fishblr is also inclusive to aquatic tetrapods since they are lobe-fins, and therefore fish :D It's a term that can include everyone on here, the perfect catchall!
🦑 abyssal-gigantism follow
Ewwww fuck that definition. If mammals hear about them being fish on some sort of """"technicality"""" then this webbedsite is gonna get flooded with those self-important idiots! "OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOOOOO LoOk At MeEeEeEeEEE i'M a MaMmAL!!11!!! I TAKE CARE of mah BAAABIEEEES!1111 I'm SUCH a good MAMAAA!!! All those OTHER STUPID HEARTLESS ANIMALS could NEVER do as I DO!!! I LOVE sweating into my BAABIEEEES' MOUTH1!1!1!111!!! I'm FLUFFY and AWSUM and ERRYBODDY LUUUVSSSSS MEE!!!!!!!!!!111!!!!!!! You should all LUV me TOO!!!!"
Is THAT how you want every fishblr post to look!!!!??????
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😨
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DD:
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:'''((((
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:///////////
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i think jellyfish shouldn't be classified as fish because they're clearly living spaghetti
🌜 foolish-idol follow
Great fucking post everyone. Hit the air bubblers
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🟩 ultrahyva-heihoi follow
Guys what the fuck kind of sponsors does fishblr have I just saw an ad for having parasites housed in me who are they advertising to 😭💀💀
#i swear the quality of this site keeps going down and down #if you see ads for parasites then report the shit out of em #fuck em my friend got early onset cataracts due to parasites
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😃 doweopenandcloseourmouthtoday follow
Yes! :) :O :) :O :) :O :) :O
#fish#fishblr#unreality#unreality tw#dashboard simulator#fake post#fake posts#fakeposting#marine biology#parasite#dead animal#tw dead animal#the fish “reaction” gif that is#polls#shark#sharks#long post
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no you know what I'm going to scream about the stuff I talked about in the tags of this post publicly
I'm tired of the well-meaning "don't feel bad if your work only gets 20 notes your genius is what counts and do it for you!" bullshit. I've had a good handful of friends who have straight up DEACTIVATED in recent months because their work was not getting reblogged AT ALL. No, it wasn't from lack of not being well-liked, no it wasn't from lack of trying to make sure it was getting out there to the people they knew would engage with it. It was because no matter how much they were praised privately for their work, when push came to shove, absolutely NOBODY reblogged it and gave it the audience that it was due, and I'm tired of people shoving the "unsung genius" narrative as an excuse for it. Nothing excuses that. And the boop event really proved that.
because I know given the opportunity, indiscriminately pressing a button (sometimes 10 thousand times, as I did) is not beyond this website's capability. y'all loved doing that. and look at what it wrought. nothing but love and affection and happiness. just from a couple of quick clicks of a little paw button. sure. nobody knew who you booped but the other person (which is how likes used to work on this website, btw). there was an element of anonymity to it. but that is kind of the core of this website that no other social media platform still has: the ability to be anonymous. and hyper-curating a blog on here like you might on twitter or instagram to project an image is simply not viable. and hey. you wanna know a secret: literally nobody cares what you post or whether it goes with the "theme" of your blog or not. yeah. I know. CRAZY concept in this day and age. but literally. I myself have reblogged things that have had nothing to do with whatever I am currently fixated by and you know what happened to my follower count? not a damn thing. in fact, I actively try to reblog things specifically BECAUSE it's my friends who made them (even though I'm not always good at KEEPING UP WITH HOW MUCH THEY POST @prismatica-the-strange will NEVER GO UNRECOGNIZED by me).
And you know what fucking sucks? I have to deal with this too. surprise right? you ever wonder why I reblog fics or art I post like 20 times the day that I post them? do you ever wonder why I ask about tag lists and beg for asks all the time? IT'S BECAUSE EVEN I GET LIKE. 5 LIKES ON THE THINGS I POST. AND THE REST OF THE REBLOGS ARE MINE SO I CAN MAKE SURE THAT PEOPLE WHO WANT TO SEE WHAT I MAKE GET TO SEE IT. and I say that knowing that I'm certainly not an unpopular blog, or an unpopular writer. I know that people love the stories that I create. Hell, half of the people that I've talked to about lady terror have told me that they consider her to be canon (AND EVEN SOME!! THOUGHT SHE WAS!!! WITHOUT EVEN HAVING WATCHED THE SHOW! WHICH IS STILL SO SO WILD TO ME!!!) But especially in the last 4 years (which really dates this phenomenon), my posts, no matter how well received they've been amongst people I've talked to about them directly, I still go into the notes and at least half (often more than half) are MY reblogs to make sure people saw what I posted. and it happens every single time, and I can't tell you how much it crushes me considering that it used to be that I would be able to post it only once, and people would reblog it sometimes even HUNDREDS of times.
It's not about popularity. it never has been. it's not about anxiety. or shifting website cultures. even if you lurk, the simple fact is, that if you want people to keep making what you love. you have to reblog. your theme won't suffer because you reblogged a fanfiction that you really admire. your posting won't be ruined because you reblogged some fanart from someone in a different fandom. really. I promise. and if people do unfollow you for that? who needs em. followers come and go but you should NEVER have to cater to them. on this website it has ALWAYS been the other way around. lean into it. make it yours. put stuff you ACTUALLY WANT to be seen and that you love and appreciate on your blog. no matter how old it is, how new it is, no matter how niche or off-theme it is.
so please. if you really want to show your appreciation for someone's work? you reblog. it's really as easy as that. check the tags. add some when you reblog if you like. but please for the love of god reblog. it's as easy as booping and even more rewarding for the people who you reblog from. if you want to let someone know that their work is genius and appreciate it? show it. reblog. then DM them if you're too nervous to say what you want to say but not in a public forum. but for christ's sake. REBLOG.
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can you do a bonus part to your franco x piastri!reader series, where the rest of the grid reacts to their relationship
THE OTHER GUY BONUS PART | FC43
an: i really enjoyed giving you guys this bonus part, they're so cute i love them so much
fc: random brunettes on pintrest
twitter
interview with yn piastri
The bright lights of the paddock press conference feel warmer than usual, or maybe it’s just the tension in the air. You’re sitting in front of a lady who pulled you aside for a quick interview, her eyes sharp, knowing that every word, every glance, will be dissected later. The end of the Formula 1 season always brings its own frenzy, but this time, all the focus is on you. You could feel the attention, the hum of anticipation in the air.
The interviewer leans forward, a grin on her face as she adjusted her microphone. You knew what was coming. After weeks of speculation, cryptic posts, and a whirlwind of gossip, it was finally out. She was most definitely about to ask the question that has been burning on everyone’s mind.
“What a way to end the season, yn,” she said, her voice dripping with amusement. “That was quite a statement you made.” There was a pause, just long enough for the her to try and get you to say something. “Franco Colapinto. What a bold choice.”
You raised an eyebrow, crossing your legs slowly, letting the moment linger. You watched as she waited for your response, hanging on your every word. You smirked, leaning into the mic just a little.
“What can I say?” you shrugged nonchalantly, though you knew exactly what you were doing. “I pitied the guy.”
You could see the corners of her mouth twitch, trying to hold back a laugh. She wanted more, they always did.
“Is that all?” the interviewer presses, her tone playful but probing, looking for cracks.
You didn't flinch, not even a bit. You’d played this game long enough, and you knew how to stay on top. Your lips curved into a smirk, your eyes narrowing slightly in mischief.
“Yup,” you said, keeping your voice light, almost bored. “This is my charity work for the year.”
The interviewer burst out into laughter. You let the words hang in the air, knowing full well they would be all over the headlines tomorrow. But before the interviewer could push further, you felt a warm presence behind you, familiar hands sliding around your waist.
You stiffened for just a second, caught off guard—not by the touch itself, but by the timing of it. You knew it was him. Franco pulled you closer, his chest pressed against your back, his scent—clean and comforting—filling your senses. You could hear the faintest murmur of his breath against your ear before he planted a soft kiss on your cheek, completely unbothered by the cameras flashing all around. His embrace was steady, like he’d done this a thousand times before.
The room fell into an almost stunned silence, as the interviewer watched the two of you, waiting for the next bite of drama. But there was nothing left for them to feed on.
The interviewer’s eyes widened slightly, clearly trying to decide whether to ask more or just let this moment speak for itself. She cleared her throat, a little flustered by the sudden turn.
“Well, I think that’s a perfect note to end on,” she said with a nervous chuckle, glancing between you and Franco. “Thank you, yn, Franco. I’m sure we’ll all be talking about this for a while.”
lando norris twitch stream
williamsracing
liked by ynpiastri, francolapinto, alex_albon and 984,247 others
a surprise visit from our favourite internet sensation
*tap to load more comments*
francolpainto: muyyy lindaaa
userone: i'm telling my kids they were romeo and juliet
usertwo: best wag ever
lilymhe: how he pulled her will always remain a mystery
oscarpiastri: @/ynpiastri i'm telling mum you're a traitor
f1 posted a new video
the end.
taglist: @iimplicitt @isaadore @iamred-iamyellow @justheretoreadthxxs @obxstiles @how-what-why-huh @raizelchrysanderoctavius @sainzzreputaticn @xxx-betty @dukeofjjune @dejavuontrack @littlegrapejuice @mxdi0 @st4rgirl-ellie @dullypully @cinderellawithashoe
#f1#f1 imagine#f1 smau#f1 fanfic#logan sargeant#williams#franco colapinto#franco colapinto x reader#franco colapinto x you#franco colapinto x yn#oscar piastri#oscar piastri sister#williams f1#williams racing#williams formula 1#logan sargeant angst#logan sargeant smau#f1 social media au#franco colapinto smau
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𝜗𝜚 You Says.
Post prison Reid x Reporter!reader
part one



Summary: After a rough night and some misunderstandings, Spencer needs to do everything he can to make things right with you and get his relationship back on track. The problem is, things aren't so easy for you, and he's willing to do anything you ask, even take care of you when no one else will.
Words: 3,1k.
Warnings & Tags: mentions of crime and trauma. fem!reader. angst+comfort. reader gets sick (nothing serious, just a normal cold). second chance yep. english isn't my first language (sorry for my mistakes, be kind please).
Note: Ok, I didn't think of doing a second part before, but reading my own work made me so sad😭 the cat deserves happy parents (we are the cat) but I warn you that I do not believe in magic apologies.
I. I Love You, I’m Sorry.
Spencer had been losing his mind since the last time he saw you in person, and it was all his fault. From the moment the door to his apartment closed behind you and the oven beeped, he began to feel the broken pieces of his heart that you had once held together unravel and shatter even more. He hated himself for letting his insecurities get in the way of the one good thing he had managed to have over the past few years, and for pushing you away when you didn't want to. You had been his exception among all the bad things that had happened in his life for as long as he could remember, the only one that didn't seem to want to be temporary and left him when he least expected it. And he himself had forced you out of his life, even when you didn't want to, begging him with tear-filled eyes for a little remorse that he didn't give you.
Just a few hours after the incident, he tried to go to work as if nothing had happened to clean up the mess the leak had made and put the killer in jail. He brought Penelope the promised cookies and your computer for her to examine because it felt right at the time. Part of him needed her to find real proof of your betrayal so he could stop feeling bad about making you cry and saying such ugly things to you.
Then he found out that you were telling the truth and that your computer contained nothing but photos of the two of you, all the articles he had ever written or been mentioned in your searches, and a few writings in which you poured out all your love for him in the cheesiest and most poetic way possible. You loved him, you really did, and there was no evidence to the contrary, because even Garcia could later assure him that the information had come anonymously and had been bought for five hundred dollars. But it was too late, because he had given you a conviction without even knowing it.
That's when he started to fixate on making amends for what he'd done. Every time you left work, bouquets of your favorite flowers with notes asking for forgiveness and wishing you a good night began to appear in your car. He also made a point of stopping by to talk to you and repeat how sorry he was. You knew this would happen when he realized his mistake. You had told him before you left, and that's why you refused to see him. It was good that the security guards at your workplace didn't let him in, even with his FBI credentials. The tricky part was your building because the doorman already knew him and let him in normally thanks to the excuses Spencer made up, even though you said a thousand times that he shouldn't have.
And that was happening again, for the fifth or sixth time in the last few days.
“Please, just let me talk to you and tell you how sorry I am. Listen to me for a moment.” You could hear Reid's voice from the other side of the door.
You didn't say anything. You just sat with your back against the door and one hand on your heart, as if you were trying to hold it. It didn't even cross your mind that he was in the same situation.
“Just a few minutes, please."
Once more, you remained silent.
Silence was the worst answer someone could give. You knew it, and it hurt to have to do it with him. But you had no choice because you knew that by looking into his eyes for just a few seconds, all the bad things would dissipate and maybe you would even forgive him without thinking just because of the love you had for him. You didn't like being this vulnerable and having so many feelings for someone who didn't trust you.
Lately, you've been spending every waking moment wondering what you could have done to make him believe that you were really capable of betraying him in such a cruel and selfish way. You were the one who woke up in the middle of the night to try to comfort him every time he had a nightmare or couldn't sleep. You drove to his apartment no matter what time it was to make sure he was okay. You lost your breath repeating that he was safe with you. You drank many cups of coffee the next day so you wouldn't fall asleep on the job every time the situation repeated itself. That's why you started sleeping in his apartment, wrapped in his arms because he said it made him happy to wake up and see you. And even with all that, Spencer was able to believe that you didn't love him.
You were running your hands through your hair and sighing, trying to block out all the thoughts running through your head, when you heard his phone ring. You could tell it was important by the way he spoke and changed his tone of voice, so you got up from the floor at the same time he did to put your ear to the door.
“I really have to go now, but could you open up a little bit so I can take a quick look at you?” He asked in a pleading tone after hanging up the call. “Please, I know you can hear me. I can see the shadow of your feet under the door.”
You really thought he didn't know you were there, feeling like a fool for listening to every word he said.
“If you want to see me, turn on the TV.” Your voice finally reached Spencer, and it gave him a glimmer of hope. It was the first time you had spoken to him since that night, and even though there was a door between the two of you, you were talking to him.
“It's not enough.”
“And it's not my problem.”
That was more hurtful than your silence.
“I know, it's mine.” He replied after a couple of seconds, trying to process everything. “And I will do everything I can to fix it...I have to go now, but take care of yourself. The nights have been getting colder lately, so wrap up warm.”
You knew it was a bit silly to think of that now, but his attention to detail was impressive. Since you did the evening news, you used to get off work very late, and the change from air conditioning to the city cold was quite a lot. Spencer had cited scientific studies to you many times to make you aware and know what kind of clothing materials to use to avoid a cold. You missed that a lot.
If he had the same attitude as the night of the conflict, it would be easier. You could hate him and stop loving him so strongly.
“I love you, William misses you and so do I.”
You frowned because you didn't know anyone by that name.
“William?”
“Our cat.” He answered simply. “When we talked about how we would name him, you said that a lot of people name their pets after their favorite characters. You love the movie ‘Notting Hill’ and whenever we watch it, you always say you like Hugh Grant's character named William. It also means strong-willed warrior. I just thought you would like it.”
You didn't say anything at the time because you had to cover your hand with your mouth to keep from doing so, but you liked it and you liked it too much. Once again, he focused on the details.
“You can change it if you want because I don't know if he likes it, but what I do know is that he misses you. He lies on your blanket and starts meowing, and he also looks at the door. I certainly think that every time I come home he expects it to be you.” He kept talking as he received no response from you. “It sounds like I'm talking about myself. And it's true because it happens to me the same way.”
When he paused, a tear escaped and fell down your cheek. It wasn't fair for him to say those things now.
“If you want to see him and me not being there, you can send me a message...but I'd really like to be.” He paused again, as if searching for the perfect words.
What did it cost him to have searched for the perfect words the night he distrusted you?
“I must go, I love you.”
The last thing you heard before he left was Spencer's footsteps heading towards the elevator.
II. I Miss You, I’m Sorry.
Just two weeks later, you realized that maybe you should have listened to Spencer when he said the nights were getting too cold. If you had, now you probably wouldn't be lying on your bed with an unbearable flu and no one there to bring you soup or a cold washcloth for your forehead because your mother was taking too long to get to city.
When you were younger, you thought it was a great idea to get as far away from your hometown as possible. Now, however, you realize that you need a familiar face to take care of you because you can't do it alone all the time.
You felt a sense of relief when you heard the door to your apartment open.
“Mom? I'm really hungry and the soup is all gone.” You spoke in a tired tone as you heard footsteps approaching. But at that moment, you watched as the cat you shared with Reid jumped onto the bed and started purring at you.
You thought you were hallucinating from the fever until you saw Spencer walking into your room with a couple of bags.
“I know you were expecting your mother, but we brought you soup and medicine.” He said, sitting up in bed to look closely at you and put a hand on your forehead. “You're burning up.”
“What are you doing here?” You asked, trying to pull away from his touch.
“Your mother called me because she couldn't find a flight today and was very worried. She asked me to take care of you.”
Of course she did, because she adored him and didn't know that things were bad between you two.
“I don't need you to take care of me.” You barely settled into bed and petted the cat. “Go to work, make sure no one leaks information.”
Oh, that was a low blow for him.
“I asked for a few days off because you have a high fever and someone needs to take care of you.”
“You don't have to...”
“I want to.” He said, interrupting you and putting a cold cloth on your forehead.
“Just because you're looking out for me doesn't mean I'm going to forget everything and forgive you.” You clarified right away, trying not to lose focus because of the relief you felt thanks to the cold compress.
“I know, and I don't expect you to. Just let me take care of you now, forget you hate me until you get better. I won't take advantage of this, I swear.” He looked at you with a serious gaze, as if he were swearing an oath. “Please.”
God, not puppy dog eyes now.
You used to love it when he looked at you with those sparkling eyes. Now, though, you felt manipulated by it.
“Fine, give me the soup.” You finally agreed, knowing you didn't have much of a choice. “Just a warning, please don't answer any calls near me. I can listen in and use the information to hire a nurse.”
He ignored the comment and didn't bring it up to make you uncomfortable. He sat on the edge of the bed, brushing a strand of hair away from your face. His touch was light, and his eyes searched yours as he spoke.
“Is there anything else besides soup I can bring you? More tissues, or maybe some medicine?” He asked in a soft, soothing voice.
You shook your head, still a bit dazed by the situation and your stomach rumbling. You watched as Spencer disappeared into the kitchen, and you could hear his footsteps echoing throughout the house, followed by the clatter of pots and pans and the sound of the stove being turned on. You could only lie back on your bed, feeling a wave of tiredness wash over you.
A few minutes later, he came back with a bowl of chicken noodle soup and sat down next to you on the bed, being careful not to spill anything.
“Are you planning to feed me soup?” You asked, with a hint of irony in your voice, as you watched me hold the spoon and watch you.
“If you wish, I'll be happy to.” He replied simply and brought the spoon gently to your mouth.
“I'm not a baby.”
Especially not his baby.
“You hate me, I know. But I really want to take care of you, and I won't leave until at least your mother arrives.” He paused for a second, as if to catch his breath. “If you don't want me around, that's okay, I'll just sit in the corner of the room or in the living room in silence. It hurts, but I'll take whatever you want.”
You remained silent for several seconds, dedicating yourself to stroking the cat to avoid Spencer's gaze.
“I don't hate you.” Was the only thing you could say at the time.
Something inside you was expecting a more exaggerated reaction for letting your guard down a bit, or maybe you were just too feverish. The thing was, he had only given you a small, almost non-existent smile.
“I know.” He finally spoke and gently adjusted the cold compress on your forehead. “And that's why I hate myself.”
At that moment, while you were trying to make sense of how things had changed so much in just a week, he was watching you.
Spencer was waiting for you to explode, to tell him how sorry you were for getting involved with him and his complicated world, that it was all one big mistake that you would regret forever. He was expecting disaster, pain, tears, and a lot of chaos.
But you didn't give him any of that.
Just a sweet nothing.
He could tell at that moment that even though you were in a feverish state and had many reasons to be cruel, you would not be. He realized that you would never yell at him or do anything to hurt him, that the most painful thing you could give him was your silence. And it was then that he confirmed that you loved him the way he thought he did not deserve to be loved: honestly and genuinely.
“Why?” You whispered after a few minutes of silence. “Why are you with me if you don't trust me?”
“I trust you.” He looked you straight in the eye as he spoke, trying to show that he was being completely sincere. “I just don't trust myself.”
You frowned and let out a groan from the discomfort in your forehead. You weren't sure if you were hallucinating because of the cold or if Spencer was really shivering.
“I don't think I'm good enough for you, or deserve you, or that you love me because you want to.” He finally admitted, his voice slightly shaky. He seemed to be in a worse state than you. “It's silly because you've never given me a reason to distrust you.”
“I know you thought I was going to leave. But I didn't want to leave until you asked me to.” You were close to crying, so you pretended to sneeze to hide your watery eyes. You didn't want to show how vulnerable you were. “It was easier to distrust me and blame me like I was just another bad person you catch.”
“Yes, but...” He replied, trying to answer your question.
“Don't talk. It's my turn.”
He nodded after a few seconds, watching you with concern. “Just be careful, you're still sick.”
You already knew how sick you were and how deplorable you probably looked, but you wanted to say it all and stop feeling a lump in your throat.
“You say you trust me, but you really don't, and I've been trying to understand you for almost a year, Spencer. It's been eleven months of trying not to invade your space, avoiding topics that make you tense or your eyes glaze over.” You had to stop to catch your breath and drink some water with his help. “And you think I don't understand you or really know you, but I do. I know how all your dishes are arranged, I know how you like to fold clothes and eat toast, I know that chess reminds you of someone because your eyes get watery every time we see a board, I know about the book signed by Maeve that you hide in your closet and about which you tense up every time I'm near, I know about your nightmares about prison that you don't like to talk about, and about your mother's favorite colors that change every day. I know so much about you, and yet you think I know nothing.”
Once more, there was a long, quiet pause.
“I'm so sorry.” He held your hands as he repeated the same thing, this time with a truly sincere tone. The whole room was still tense as his knees touched the floor, and the apology he gave you seemed like a plea. “I'm really sorry. I know you don't want apologies, you want trust, and I'm going to show you that.”
You didn't say anything as he sat down next to you on the bed.
“I trust you, that's why I always tell you about my cases. And I will tell you about all my past, if you want, because for me you are my present and my future...of course, only if you still want to.”
The eyes of both of you were fixed on the cat you shared, who was purring and lying very comfortably in the middle of the bed. It was nice to know that at least one of the three of you was happy.
“Tell me.”
And just as you asked, he told you everything because he wanted to show you that he trusted you.
This time he really trusted.
#criminal minds#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal minds x reader#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid#spencer reid x fem!reader#matthew gray gubler
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𝐍𝐄𝐖 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄
pairing: eddie munson x fem!reader
word count: 2.3k words
summary: in which it’s hard to see eddie with anyone who isn't you
warnings: friends to lovers to friends again (kinda), explicit language, alcohol consumption, very brief mention of weed, pining, angst
author’s note: this is fully inspired by the song "new love" by girl in red. enjoy<333
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
“She’s right over there. Should I do it?”
“Yeah, go for it.”
Eddie nodded at your words and then he was standing up from the long patio chair that you, him, and Robin had been occupying for the past thirty minutes, and heading over to where his newest crush stood with a few of her friends.
Robin let out a laugh. “I don’t get it.”
You turned your head to look at her. “What?”
“How you guys can still be friends right now. You only broke up like two months ago.”
Making the promise to stay friends post-breakup was the only thing that made the breakup feel a thousand times less terrible. And it sounded easy enough— you and Eddie were simply just going to go back to how things were before you started dating.
“We’re better off as friends,” He had said to you that random Wednesday night back in January and you nodded understandingly. It was amicable and mutual, and eventually— maybe, hopefully— the barely five-month relationship would be a funny little story to reminisce about with each other years down the line.
You took a long sip from the red cup in your hand and then shrugged at Robin’s words. “I don’t know. This just works somehow. It’s better.”
You had been telling yourself that lie a lot lately— maybe almost too much. But, it was easier to pretend that that lie was the truth and that everything was fine, instead of thinking that maybe you made a mistake that night when you found yourself agreeing with Eddie and let things end between the two of you.
“No offense, but so weird,” Robin said with a shake of her head. “So, who’s this new girl he’s into anyway?”
“I honestly don’t know.”
Eddie had told you a lot about her— how she saw one of his band’s shows recently with a few friends and how she kinda ran in the same-ish circles— but most of what he said about her went in one ear and out the other. Hearing him ramble on and on about a new crush hurt more than you thought it would. Even more than when you two were actually just friends and you were harboring what felt like a hopeless crush on him for years before finally admitting it.
Breaking up was supposed to save you both from more heartbreak in the long run, but most of the time it felt like it was only making things worse. Sometimes you wondered if Eddie felt the same way— if he regretted it as much as you did.
It was almost too obvious that he didn’t, though, because he didn’t waste a second moving on.
New girl, new crush, new love. All of which wasn’t you anymore.
You looked away from where he stood next to the girl— you were only fifty percent sure her name was Ally. She was happily laughing at whatever Eddie had just said to her, and he was smiling widely.
“I’m gonna go inside and attempt to find the bathroom,” You told Robin before downing the rest of what was in your cup and placing it on the ground, and then standing up.
She looked up at you. “Want some help?”
“No, it’s okay,” You shook your head. “I’ll be right back.”
You kept your eyes down and away from Eddie as you walked into the house, a place that was way too small to have this many people in it. The inside was packed to the brim with a bunch of unfamiliar faces, and that was the main reason why you, Robin, and Eddie immediately retreated to the backyard once the three of you showed up. The only reason you all knew about the party was because of a friend of a friend of someone that Eddie met at The Hideout a few weeks ago.
You maneuvered through the throngs of dancing people and groups of friends talking loudly over the blasting music and headed up the stairs, hoping that it would be a bit more calm.
The universe must have been somewhat on your side because you found the bathroom on your first try. You didn’t even need to use it, you just wanted a moment of quiet. And even though you could hear the muffled sounds of the song playing downstairs through the shut door, it was still good enough.
You leaned back against the sink and let out a long breath.
It was hard not to think about Eddie with Ally and how happy they looked, even though it was only one of their first few conversations. All you wanted to do was take her place. All you wanted was for him to want you like that again.
It wasn’t supposed to be this hard, this complicated. Being just friends again was supposed to be the best thing to do, and you now wanted to bitterly laugh at yourself for stupidly believing that thought two months ago. Most of the time, that night played back on what felt like a continuous loop in your head. You kept wondering if you should’ve done things differently; if you should’ve, maybe, fought harder to keep what you two had.
“I don’t think we should do this anymore.”
You had immediately laughed at Eddie’s soft-spoken words, thinking that he was joking, but when he didn’t join in, you were furrowing your eyebrows in confusion. “What?”
“This just doesn’t make sense, y’know? We’re graduating soon, and then we’re gonna be going in completely different directions. You’re leaving Hawkins, and I already know that I’m gonna be stuck here.”
You were quiet because you had no idea how to respond to that. Maybe it was only half-right— yes, you were going to be headed to a college that was not in Indiana at the end of the summer, but you truly couldn’t imagine Eddie being “stuck” anywhere.
“We’re better off as friends,” He continued. “Neither of us can get hurt that way.”
It was all so surprising and felt entirely out of nowhere, but you could tell by how he said the words that he had been thinking about this for a while. There was a part of you that could understand what he meant, the sad why behind it all, so you decided to lean into that. Because, in a way, he was kind of right— the deeper you fell for each other, the more painful the heartbreak would be in the end, and the harder it would be to leave in August.
But, shit, you were already in way too deep.
You still felt yourself nodding in agreement with him anyway, even though it was the last thing you wanted to do. “Okay.”
“So… just friends again?”
You simply nodded again and gave him a small smile. “Yeah, of course. Just friends.”
Now you felt so dumb for saying that, for agreeing to the idea. You couldn’t be “just friends” with Eddie Munson anymore.
There was a loud knock on the door that abruptly pulled you out of your thoughts.
“Sorry, one sec,” You yelled out to the person on the other side.
You let out another breath and didn’t bother looking in the mirror to see if the sadness you were feeling was written so clearly across your face. Mainly because you knew that it definitely was and it would be too hard to replace it with a fake smile, anyway.
A random girl was rushing in before you were even fully out of the door, and you hoped that she was doing better than you were at that moment, but it didn’t entirely seem like it.
You decided that you wanted to go back outside and settle yourself back in your spot on the patio chair next to Robin, and you also really wanted another drink. The idea of blurring your thoughts for the rest of the night didn’t sound like the worst idea ever.
You made your way to the stairs and before you even started heading down, you spotted Eddie walking up. He easily noticed you too and he smiled before meeting you at the top of the stairs after a second. He looked at you for a moment and then his eyebrows furrowed in concern.
“Hey, you okay?” He asked, reaching out to place a hand on your upper arm. It was such a subtle and simple action, but it still made you feel way too many things at once. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, I’m fine,” You answered, giving him a weak smile, and then immediately changed the subject so that he wouldn’t question you further right then. “How’d it go with Ally? That’s her name, right?”
“Yeah, it is. But, that ask-out completely crashed and failed because she said that she just started dating someone.”
“Oh, sorry,” You told him, not because you actually felt it, but because it simply felt like the right thing to say at that moment.
“It’s fine,” Eddie shrugged. “What’s the dumb saying? There’s other fish in the sea or whatever.”
You let out a forced kind of laugh. “Yup, right.”
“You sure you’re okay?”
For a second, you considered lying again; it would’ve been the best and simplest thing to do. You could’ve said that you weren’t feeling well and you needed to just head back outside and get some air— you should’ve just said that. But then, suddenly, all you could think was fuck it.
“I can’t do this.”
He looked at you, confused. “Do what?”
“Be friends with you. I can’t go back to how things were with us before we dated. And I know that I have been doing it for the past two months, but I can’t anymore.”
“But, we decided—”
“I know,” You interrupted him. “I know what we decided, but that doesn’t mean that it’s been easy to do this. To just turn off my feelings and pretend that I’m not still in love with you.”
Surprisingly, it actually felt good to finally be honest about everything that you had forced yourself to bury over the past few months. It felt as if a weight was being lifted off of your shoulders.
“It’s not easy for me either.”
You couldn’t help but scoff and roll your eyes at Eddie’s words. “Yeah, because talking to Ally out there looked really painful and hard for you.”
“That doesn’t…” He trailed off as he shook his head. “That doesn’t mean anything. I promise. It doesn’t mean that I don’t miss you, or us.”
“Then why are we even doing this right now? What’s the point?”
You two had somehow moved away from the stairs and instead were standing further down the hallway, closer to the bathroom that you had left barely two minutes ago.
“I just,” Eddie began and then sighed. “I know it’s gonna hurt like hell letting you go in a few months, and maybe doing it this way is easier. It’s not at all easy, but maybe it’s better? I don’t know. Most of the time it feels so fucking stupid, and I feel like an idiot for what I did that night… But, maybe it was the right thing to do.”
You considered his words for a moment. Just like that night two months ago, a part of you could recognize that he was at least a little right. But, this time you decided against leaning into the small part of you that wanted to simply agree with him because it made things seem “easy.”
“You know me,” You ultimately said, stepping a little closer and finding his hand. “I overthink everything. I think about every possible outcome for any and every situation. But, this is the one thing that I don’t want to think that far ahead about. And maybe that’s stupid. And maybe we will end up feeling terribly heartbroken at the end of the summer, and we’ll regret not just leaving things like they are right now. But, I’d rather that, than to keep pretending that everything is fine and normal. Somehow that feels so much worse. Why can’t we just enjoy this, us, for what it is before we have to give it up?”
Eddie didn’t say anything at first and that worried you. You braced yourself for the inevitable rejection, and you were already telling yourself that you would be okay with it because at least you tried this time around— you had finally said the words that you wished you’d said that night.
But then he was kissing you. It was abrupt and sudden and you hadn’t seen it coming, even though it was exactly what you wanted to happen. He was pulling his hand away from yours and immediately reaching up to cup your face in both of his hands. They were cold, but you still felt as if you were on fire.
It was probably only him that could affect you this much and this easily. You didn’t realize how much you missed the feel of his mouth on yours and how much you missed having him close to you in this way until it was finally, finally happening again.
Your mind briefly traveled back to the last time this happened. It was the night before the breakup and the two of you were smoking weed in your backyard, sandwiched together in one patio chair instead of sitting in separate ones because it just felt right to do, and the close proximity allowed your lips to easily find his.
“I love you,” Eddie mumbled against your mouth now, which also reminded you of that last time. “I’m sorry I made us lose the past two months.”
Your hands were fisting themselves into his black t-shirt, pulling him impossibly closer to you. “It’s okay. Doesn’t matter.”
And technically, it really didn’t, at least not in your head. You were just glad to be here in this moment with him. It wasn’t too late. You two still had time.
“It’ll be okay,” You told him in between kisses. Maybe you two should have found a bedroom or simply moved anywhere that was out of the dark hallway and away from potential prying eyes, but that didn’t feel like the most important thing to do right then. “Whatever happens in the end. It’ll be okay.”
Eddie was nodding as he pressed you back against the wall and his hands dropped to your waist. “Okay.”
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
let me know ur thoughts<333
#eddie munson imagine#eddie munson smut#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson fluff#eddie munson angst#eddie munson x fem!reader smut#eddie munson x female reader#eddie munson x y/n#eddie munson x you#eddie munson fanfic#stranger things fic#stranger things imagine#stranger things smut
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ashes – day 144 (1)

author's note: uhhh i wrote and posted this before the actual game... so this is winner!jack, i also have another version posted here..... sorry and bye

you knew jack was a good hockey player. you knew he was capable of doing great things; you knew he could win any game he wanted to if he played as well as he could.
and yet, you were surprised to get the call from him inviting you to come watch him play the final game of the four nations tournament.
not that you were surprised he was in the finals, per se. you knew most of the hockey experts, and jack himself, had called the us team as the favorites for the tournament. but you and jack hadn't even discussed beforehand if you wanted to, or could, come watch him play.
i need you there, he had whispered into your phone after his win against sweden on monday. knowing you're in the stands cheering for me always makes me feel much better.
so, thursday morning, you got on the plane to boston. you were only able to see jack for a few moments after his morning skate – just enough time to hug and kiss his cheek and wish him luck – before he had to leave for media duties and whatnot before the finals. the time off gave you time to check into your hotel and get ready for the long night ahead.
and possibly try to calm your nerves a little, too.
not only were you nervous about the game itself, but mostly everything going on around it. jack had made sure that your name was written on some list to a special box in the arena for the players' families, and just the thought of interacting with so many new people left you a little nauseous. you'd just gotten used to being around the wives and girlfriends of the devils, but jack had no teammates with him in the national team.
it didn't help that your first interaction with anyone in the box was colliding with a woman about a minute after walking inside.
"i'm so sorry-" you said instantly, even though it was mostly her own fault for walking backwards without looking where she was going.
"no worries, dear!" she exclaimed, lifting her glass of champagne to her lips as she gazed over you. "well, aren't you just a doll! so sweet i think i could eat you up." she sent you a wink. "i see why jack would fall for you."
this caught your attention. "oh, you know jack?" you asked, eyebrows raising slightly. how did she know you were here with him?
"of course! we used to date. almost a year, but who counts, right?" the laugh she lets out felt strangely forced, yet you accepted the hand that she held out to you. "i'm stacy, i'm sure he's told you about me."
not once, actually. was it because she didn't mean much to him, or because he was hiding something? if they were together for that long, surely it had to mean something to him?
just like she hadn't left you room to introduce yourself earlier, she now started talking again before you could answer her question. "how are you enjoying being with jack, dear? it must be exhausting being with someone so obsessive!"
obsessive?
"he used to be glued to my side, he wanted me with him everywhere," she said, brushing a lock of hair behind her ear. "he used to call me the day before his games, all 'i need you to come to seattle tomorrow and watch me play'. so cute but so…" she paused to search her brain for a specific word. "tiring."
if you had to use a thousand words to describe your relationship with jack, not one would even be something close to the word tiring.
"and, obviously, the sex was explosive. but i'm sure i don't need to tell you that, darling," she laughed, adding a little wink in there for good measure.
when jack called you this morning, you never could've guessed that you'd be standing here discussing your sex life with his ex girlfriend.
there was something so… uncanny about her. you found yourself wondering how in the world jack could have gone out with someone so shallow and flaky – and why he was so different with you than her? was it because of him, or because of you?

the only good thing about this new "friend" of yours (one you hoped you never had to see again after today) was the fact that she had no issues dragging you around with her and showing you around. when the game finally started, she helped you find where to sit and watch; and during the breaks, she brought you with her to get drinks and snacks to refill your energy.
when the game finally ended, after longer than the other games you'd attended, you stood up in the box to watch jack and his teammates receive their gold medals. you had assumed you'd just get to see him later, when he was done celebrating with his team – but yet again, stacy had grabbed your wrist and dragged you along with her down to the ice, despite your initial refusal.
you and stacy were far from the only people who had made their way down to the ice to celebrate with their loved ones. stacy ran off to find her boyfriend, brody or brady or brock or zach, and left you all alone by the door leading out to the ice. you couldn't see jack anywhere between the pile of crying wives and excited children – maybe this was a bad idea? maybe he'd already left the ice and returned to his changing room, since you hadn't made any plans to meet here? maybe he was chatting to someone he found more interesting than you? maybe he was hoping you wouldn't be there?
just as you were about to turn around and hurry away before anyone noticed you, a familiar voice called your name, and it was like everything else quieted down; the whole world around you disappeared, and the only important thing to ever exist was now skating towards you.
"hello, champion," you said when he stood before you, unable to stop a smile from breaking free on your face.
he offered you a hand, helping you step onto the ice with him, and then he pulled you into his arms and swept you off your feet. your arms draped around his neck, sweet laughter slipping from your lips as he spun around in a circle. "i didn't know you'd come down here!" he exclaimed, giving you one final squeeze before setting you back on the ice.
"i wanted to surprise you." your hands slid down to rest atop his shoulder guards as you took him in. the massive grin on his lips, his cheeks still flushed from the game, the tips of his curls sticking out from under his winner's cap – and the gold medal around his neck.
there has never been a more perfect sight, you decided.
"was that stacy you came down with?" jack's hands found your waist, his eyebrows raised as he looked down at you. you had almost been worried that he would be upset or mad about you meeting her – as if he had something to hide, perhaps – but he was still smiling. probably the high of the win still present in him.
"we can talk about that later," you told him. "now, i want to talk about how good you were. and how good you look in your gold medal."
"no need to boost my ego," he said, swatting a dismissive hand in the air.
"i'll boost your ego as much as i want to!"
he tugged you a little closer, your hips brushing up against his. "you'll come celebrate with me tonight, though, right?"
you silently studied his expression for a while – for someone so sure of himself, someone who had just won a tournament this big, he looked almost scared that you'd say no.
like you'd ever find it in yourself to say no to his pretty, brown eyes.
"of course. there's nothing i'd rather do."
#posting this when canada has 1-0 is... well..... 😶 but i have faith that they will turn this around. otherwise this will be awkward 😔#i didnt write a version of this for jack losing the game lol pls dont tell me ill have to do that in the morning#jack hughes#nhl#hockey#nhl fluff#nhl smut#nhl x reader#nhl x you#nhl x y/n#nhl fic#nhl imagine#jack hughes x reader#jack hughes x you#jack hughes x y/n#jack hughes fluff#jack hughes smut#jack hughes fic#jack hughes imagine#new jersey devils
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ahead, ahead
poe dameron x reader
summary: “We– You’ll never settle down, Poe. We both know this. And neither will I, as long as we’re in this.” Your eyes rake over his face, his eyes softly fluttering with hurt when he averts his gaze from you. “It'll never work.”
or; your fear of the future forces you to reject the man you love.
warnings: rejecting poe but we're not actually truly rejecting him (who, in their right mind would reject this man), talks of the war, of being scared of the future, extremely brief mentions of an injury, death and grief
tags: gn!reader, idiots in love, angst, fluff, celebration, kissing, idk man I hate tagging this stuff you'll see
word count: 2.9k
masterlist | taglist | ao3
updates blog: @eyelessupdates
lmao hey I'm back ig if this fic doesn't hit ten thousand notes in 48hrs I'm dipping again
The night is fairly quiet, save for the occasional crackle over the comms. You and Poe are tucked away in an observation post, overlooking a seemingly endless empty desert; it feels like you've been here for hours, time blending now that the only light around is the shining stars and the small dots of your devices.
Poe lightly clears his throat, breaking the comfortable silence between you. “You can't go away from any conversation right now, so,”
You shouldn’t even be surprised that he can not keep his mouth shut for longer than three minutes. “Why won't you let me take you out on a date?”
You sigh. “Poe, not now.”
You can feel his eyes burning holes through you, knowing exactly what gaze he’s using on you, knowing his big, warm, pleading brown eyes will have the exact effect he intends to cast over you if you happen to turn to him.
You keep watching ahead, trying your best to ignore his too obvious firm gaze over you in your peripheral vision, feigning focus on trying to notice anything unusual in the broad land of sand ahead of you. He makes it really hard.
“What? Perfect situation to talk about this” he says, his gaze on you unwavering. “For me” he shrugs with a teasing smile.
You bite the inside of your cheek, hoping that your silence will make him drop it. But he’s Poe Dameron.
“Tell me. Tell me why. I genuinely want to know your reasons.” he says, leaning back into his seat. “Hurt my feelings if you have to. I just wanna know”
You can feel the pressure starting to pull down on you. You know he won’t let it go, but you also don’t want to hurt your friend while you’re stuck with him for what could be hours.
“So what, because no one ever says no to you you can’t take someone rejecting you?” you scoff, turning to him before you check the comms again though you know there’s nothing new.
He laughs, a choked, startled laugh. “We both know it’s not that. You kissed me”
You sigh, tension coiling tight and your heart leaping in your chest as you set the comms down again, at this point begging the maker for something to happen, maybe even for a First Order ambush just to get you out of this conversation. “Maybe I was just pitying you.” you mutter under your breath, busying yourself out of it by picking the underside of your nails.
“Oh, you were shitting your pants at the idea of losing me. That's why you kissed me. You were so scared I might be dead you ran to kiss me when you found out I wasn't.”
Your eyes close wearily. He’s on point.
“And you almost could have chipped my teeth with how hard our mouths clashed, so,” he trails off. “Come on. Why won’t you tell me? I really just wanna know. I can handle it.” he murmurs, more softly this time. Your head shakes as you tut impatiently. His gentle tone doesn’t make it less painful to be in this situation. “I promise you won’t hurt my feelings, you already kinda did anyway, so I guess I’m not really–” Poe stops when you suddenly grab his arm and hold a finger up, your eyes widening as you freeze.
“Listen”
Poe halts and goes silent, alert to any sound around, any faint wind breeze, any footstep, anything.
“...I’m not hearing anything” he declares after a while, eyebrows furrowed.
You recline into your seat, releasing your grip on him. “Exactly. How peaceful”
He lets out a soft, bitter chuckle and looks away, into the waves of sand, pretending to get his focus back onto the task at hand.
He finally, as you wished, lets the tight space be silent again, but after a while, you come to admit that the heavy silence is arguably more agonizing than having Poe run his mouth about something you don’t really want to talk about.
“You'll always care about the Resistance more than you could care about me.”
“What?” Poe scoffs and glances back over you, eyebrows raised. You give him a small shrug. “That’s not true. You know that’s not true.”
Your gaze darts to him before you look back out the window at your side. “It’s not even a bad thing, it’s who you are, and that’s why people follow you, that’s why I follow you, but–”
He stares at you, his gaze burning through you again, caught somewhere between confusion and frustration. “But what? What makes you think that?”
You can hear the startled hurt in his tone, the clear bewilderment, the clear need and urge in him to argue.
“You're a busy man. You're always on the run–”
“So are you” he cuts you off.
“That's what I mean. We’re both so busy with this– this endless fight. We barely have time to sleep, let alone,” you gesture vaguely between the both of you, catching the pleading gaze you were desperately trying to avoid earlier, hoping he will get what you mean without you having to say it out loud, without having to stab him right through the heart once again.
“So what?” he insists, his tone firmer. “We both know that. That’s part of the deal. But that doesn’t mean we couldn’t make it work”
You shake your head, sensing it will only keep going down from there. “We– You’ll never settle down, Poe. We both know this. And neither will I, as long as we’re in this.” Your eyes rake over his face, his eyes softly fluttering with hurt when he averts his gaze from you. “It'll never work.”
The thick silence painfully grips at your throat, and just when it feels Poe might start to speak again, the comms crackle with a signal, alerting a presence on the grounds.
You stand up and gather the stuff you need, the mission you let aside needing your full focus again, and as you take your blaster out of your holster, you can still feel Poe’s lingering gaze over you, your chest tightening in a sense of guilt you’ve never felt before.
—
It’s spontaneous and unconstrained when you fall into Poe’s embrace, but you do, and it’s like nothing ever happened in that observation post a few weeks ago. Your hands fist tightly into the fabric of his flight suit while you're still careful not to press yourself too close against his wounded arm. The general hubbub of celebration is rumbling on the ground of Ajan Kloss, thrumming through the air, and you can only feel relief as Poe’s hand cups the back of your head, pulling you closer into the embrace. For a brief moment, you just stay here, mingling with each other, breathing him in like you didn't completely push him away the last time you faced him.
“Are you okay?” he asks when you pull back slightly, looking you up and down, eyes raking through as he searches for any sign of injury.
“Are you?” you ask back, eyeing his arm wrapped in a cloth and held against his chest by a sling.
He shrugs, grimacing as he quickly waves it off, trying to downplay it. “That's fine. Nothing I've never seen before. I got things to celebrate before I start whining about this” he grins.
He smiles wider when he sees your smile, your cheeks warming up as his gaze lingers over you, taking in every detail of your face. You have barely been able to catch each other for longer than two minutes outside of missions these past few weeks, so knowing he will now be able to see you for maybe three minutes longer now that the galaxy isn’t at stake anymore brings another layer to the wider sense of relief of this war being over. “I’m glad you made it out alright” he says quietly, his voice just loud enough for you to hear over the noise.
“Couldn’t have done it without such an amazing leader” you tease, and he lets out a genuine laugh, shaking his head, but your own laughter fades as he gets cornered by his fellow squadron pilots, pulling him away from you.
You smile when you see his eyes crinkle as they cheer with him, and you give him another smile and nod when he mouths you a quick apology as they drag him away.
—
You stare off into the distance, a small smile tugging at your lips when from afar, you notice Finn being swirled around by Rose, all smiles.
There’s a bittersweet feeling to this, all of this. It’s supposedly all over, but you also have no idea what to expect for tomorrow, and the next day, and all the ones after that, and the idea is terrifying.
You put your glass down beside you on the crate that serves you as a bench, turning when you feel a presence approaching.
“Hey” Poe smiles, sitting by your side on the wide crate.
“Hey,” you reply, a hint of tiredness in your voice though his presence lifts you up a little.
“Overwhelmed?”
You scoff, giving him a half nod, barely a tilt of the head. “Yeah, you could say that”
He gives you a nod of comprehension, staring off at the loud, joyful celebration in the distance.
Puffs of dirt are flowing off the ground from being beaten by dancing feet, the particles visible from the strings and poles of lanterns set up for the occasion, revealing the figures of people overflowing with energy though that layer will peel off and reveal the true exhaustion stemming from the battle soon enough.
The night is warm, making sweat cling to skins, making tears of all kinds short-lived, visual proofs of joy and grief drying and disappearing quickly.
Poe’s gaze turns back to you, his hand settling over yours. “You should join us. You shouldn’t be staying by yourself at a time like this” he prompts, lightly nudging your side, a gentle smile on his face.
“I will, eventually” you nod, glancing at a couple linking foreheads, swaying side by side. “Just having a moment,” you chuckle softly, bringing your glass back to your lips.
“Ouh, okay” he teases, begrudgingly removing his hand. “Mind if I have this moment with you?”
“Sure,” you scoff, silently offering to share your glass with Poe, disposing of it again when he silently declines.
“So, what now?” he questions, a renewed brightness filling his voice. “What are your plans now that this war’s over?” he asks, eyes roaming along your figure.
You take a deep breath, clearing yourself of a discomfort you barely realized had been smothering your chest. “I don’t know. That’s what’s terrifying” you admit. He hums in agreement, nodding. “But maybe I’m gonna apologize to a certain pilot I pushed away first” you grin, glancing at him, meeting his eyes that crinkle in the corners as he smiles. “I wanted to apologize earlier. Before they snatched you away to worship you for your feats” you tease.
He scoffs. “Sorry. Busy man as you said”
“Yeah” you exhale, taking a sip of your drink. You lick the liquid off your lips, before looking back at Poe. “I was too harsh on you. I didn’t mean to hurt you”
He gives you a single nod and a forgiving smile. “I know. We don’t have to talk about that”
You shrug softly, averting your gaze from him again. All those people cheering and laughing and kissing could have been you and Poe instead of that slightly awkward tension between you, in a parallel reality where you hadn’t pushed your pride to the first plan, leaving your feelings behind.
You glance at him, at the way his brown eyes catch the warm glow of the lanterns. “I wanted to kiss you again” you admit, in a faint murmur. “When we came back winning.”
Your gaze falls to your lap, your fingers drumming against your glass as you feel the weight of Poe’s gaze over you, attentive to your every word. “But I didn’t want you to think I was playing with your feelings and being cruel again, just the way I was in the observation post”
Poe’s gaze softens, his hand closing as he tries to keep himself from reaching for you again. He nods in understanding, unsure how to go on from this admission.
“It’s not about cruelty,” he mutters, still looking at you. “It hurt because I knew you were scared. And I didn’t know how to make you not be.”
Your heart tightens inside your ribcage, your eyes briefly closing at his words. You nod, having to admit he is probably right. Scared of losing any more people you love, for the cause that has already taken so much from you.
Scared of losing him when your feelings already weighed enough on you.
“Hey,” he calls, tearing you out of your knot of blooming thoughts, nudging your knee with his own. “That’s why we’re here tonight. Because we made it” he nods. “We're all supposed to be less scared now, to enjoy the celebration and to properly take time to process our griefs.”
A faint smile grows over his face when you rest your head against his shoulder. You try to ignore the tears threatening your eyes.
“So things are supposed to be quieter now, right?” you question quietly, feeling his arm wrap around your back.
He hums in reflection. “There’s still a lot to do but, yeah, supposedly”
“Can I tell you something?”
“Always”
You let out a small, vulnerable sigh. “I never thought this day would actually happen. It was just a distant vision” you confess. “And now that it’s here I don’t know what to do”
He slightly tilts his head, glancing at you without dislodging your head from his shoulder. “You’ve never fantasized about what your life would be like after the war?”
You stay quiet for a bit, thinking about it. “Not really. Not seriously. Mostly because it didn’t really feel like this day would come, and now everyone knows what they want for themselves and I feel completely lost”
He nods. “You don't have to figure it all out now. The Resistance still has lots to sort out” he affirms, his thumb idly caressing your arm. “But you can think about it differently. You have every option now. You can start again” You pull your head away from his shoulder, considering this point of view as you grab your drink to finish it. You hum softly, rubbing your eyes when you let go of your drink, trying to chase the lingering doubts away.
“Come on, we should join the others” he clutches your shoulder before standing up. “And you need a refill”
You nod, looking back at your empty glass, propping yourself onto your feet. “Poe, wait” he turns back to you, an expectant curiosity painted over his face, watching as you step closer to him.
“If you asked me out again,” you say, a playful smirk forming on your lips. “I’d say yes. It’d be part of my new life”
His grin widens as he fully turns to you. “Oh yeah?” he asks, an eyebrow raised and a teasing edge to his voice.
His eyes roam over your face, his teeth sinking into his bottom lip as you nod. “Yeah”
He steps closer, the space between you shrinking as his hand brushes yours before he holds it again, this time more deliberately and more confidently. “You should have. Kissed me” he murmurs as your gaze darts to your linked hands then back to him, unable to repress the smile growing onto your face.
“I know,” you chuckle, watching him let his fingers intertwine with yours when you don’t pull away, his touch firm, grounding you with a peacefulness you haven’t felt in what seems to be ages. “But who says it's too late?”
“If I was that petty, I would” he grins, a teasing glint in his eyes, but the warmth in them conveys the playfulness of his words.
You lean in to kiss him before either of you can overthink it, your free hand instinctively grabbing at the back of his neck like he can somehow still slip away from you, your fingers burying in his mass of hair damp from the heavy atmosphere.
His hand slides out of yours to cup your face and the kiss lingers, warm and unhurried, neither of you caring about the laughter and music of the celebration in the background. When you finally pull back, your foreheads touch, and you see the playful grin on his face that makes your chest ache with fondness. “Took you long enough” he teases.
“You’re so desperate” you shoot back, your tone lacking any real bite, significantly softened by the smile that refuses to leave your face.
“You were hard to get.”
“Alright, okay” you scoff, your hand sliding to rest against his torso, adjusting the collar of his shirt on the way.
The teasing slowly fades from his face, his hand reaching up to cover yours over the rise and fall of his torso, gently closing around your fingers
“I’ll make time for you.” he says, his voice low and sincere. “Between work, flying, building everything we’ve lost and our lives again… I’ll make time for us. I promise”
You find yourself nodding, swallowing his every word, blindly trusting him; because if there is one thing you know for sure, it is that Poe Dameron never makes empty promises.
You let out a breath you hadn’t realized you had been holding, and for the first time in what feels forever, moving forward doesn’t seem as terrifying.
—
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outlander
Warning: Yandere. Gender-neutral reader.
Characters: Riddle Rosehearts, Leona Kingscholar, Azul Ashengrotto, Kalim Al-Asim, Vil Schoenheit, Idia Shroud, Malleus Draconia.
Summary: In every land you travel to, there's a god with elemental powers. But why is it that in every nation you arrive to, the gods attempt to make you stay?
Note: Why has no one done a genshin x twst thing? This is more of a concept idea than anything else. I might do a series with it, or not, or just random posts. Feel free to ask about it or request stuff for it.

This must be a dream, either that or a never-ending nightmare.
Waking up alone on a sandy beach, as if washed ashore, was disorientating. There was nothing else on the shore save for shells and the occasional crab, no debris indicating a wreck and no scattered belongings. All you had on you were the clothes on your back, which were a pair of shorts and an oversized t-shirt, your pajamas.
In the center of your palms, was a marking you had never seen before, like a freshly painted tattoo in the shape of a tiny key. As curious as the strange new markings were and you wondered how they even got there, there was a larger question looming:
How did you get here?
GRIM
There was a cat on the beach. At least, it looked like a cat. A talking feline, with gray fur and the most impossible feature of blue fire lightly simmering in his ears.
It spoke, just like a human, with a grating high-pitched voice. It was a devilish little beast, with little fangs sharper than his comebacks that he supposed were funny.
The feline pridefully announced his name: Grim.
And when you told Grim your story of how you woke up by the water's edge with no recollection of how you got here and little to your name, the creature didn't appear to care. However, when he spoke of elements being used by people and names of nations and cruel living gods you never once heard of, only then was he very vaguely intrigued. Perhaps it was amusement, as he laughed and called you stupid for not even knowing of The Seven.
That's when you heard a growl, not from behind his fangs but from his stomach. If you looked at him from the right angle, he looked quite scrawny. The poor thing was hungry, you realized.
All it took was an offering of cans of tuna found in an empty cabin nearby, and you had him in your grasp. Following you around was only temporary, he insisted, he'd go along so long as there was food. While a talking cat was not the most conventional of guides, it was better than nothing, especially since he knew basic knowledge of each nation and where the nearest sign of civilization was located.

HEARTSLABYUL
Through the winding dark woods where mysterious creatures lurked in hollow trees and dead end paths, were meadows of flowers and peaceful grooves. However, don't let the tranquillity of nature fool you. In the distance were mountains– not actually mountains, but volcanoes and hot sprints along this land's border.
It's been said that the very millions of roses and other greenery in this land, was formed when ash rained down on dry barren earth for nearly a month. Ash from those very dormant volcanoes that were the backdrop to this perfect scenery, which came in huge black clouds thousands of years ago and blanketed the earth.
A god, an archon, the deity of law that rained hell on earth over thousands of years ago.
Long ago this land was a country of criminals ruled by a god of chaos that reveled in havoc and disorder. Among the mayhem, was a small deity of fire with mighty powers and a vision for a future he was determined to see. Riddle, is what the deity was called.
Riddle gained a number of followers to listen to his words, and he created order. A small feat compared to the many wicked still running about in a lawless land ruled by a god that valued anarchy. So, using newfound strength, the deity of fire drew forth molten lava from the mouths of the northern volcanos, burning all those in its path while the deadly plumes of smoke and ash suffocated those that remained. Atop the remains of the destroyed towns and cities, he built a new nation of order for his loyal followers.
Today, it is a thriving nation filled with flowers and greenery. However, there is one issue. The god of pyro, Riddle, is a tyrant. Every law is expected to be followed without question and without fail, beheadings have become nearly a daily occurrence with the criminals often being charged with mistakingly picking flowers on Wednesdays, drinking the wrong sort of tea post-meals, or playing croquet after five pm.
You were fortunate to be spared after your audience with the god of law, for breaking the rule: one must never bring a cat to a formal affair. Before he could burn you were you stood, you interjected, answering that your companion was no cat, so you had broken no rule.
Well, he promptly apologized for the misunderstanding and in turn, offered to make up for it by inviting you to a tea party. It would be best to except his invitation, afterall, he was the same deity that buried nearly an entire country in lava and ash, then built his kingdom atop their remains. He was a tyrant that beheaded and burned people on the daily. It was wise not to get on his bad side. Besides, he appears to have taken a fancy for you. Riddle implores that you tell him more of your world while you ignore the whispers of rebellion.
There is no leaving Heartslabyul, not without the explicit permission from the god of law. The borders with their volcanoes burn any would-be invaders, allowing passage only to merchants and travelers who have received the pyro deity's blessing. Why would Riddle ever give you his blessing to see you go?

SAVANACLAW
Across the volcanoes and hot springs of the borders, the mountains turn green with dense jungles. Across the river lies the savanna where the world's most wondrous creatures run free. Times have been turbulent, the shaking ground was evidence of troubles with this nation's divine beings, or rather, now single divine being.
Earthquakes have always been a sign of something occurring either for a purpose or unintentionally by someone else. The harsher the quake, the greater the importance of the event. And not too long ago, a ginormous tremor shook the entire globe. Something of major importance had happened.
A god, an archon, the deity of intellect was the new sovereign after tragedy befell his elder brother.
In the past the land was under the protection of the god of strength, a mighty god worshipped by his people. This god had a young heir who was also beloved by the people. However, most forgot or completely disliked the younger brother of the god of strength, a deity of ground, Leona, who had a burning hated for his brother.
Leona amassed followers of his own in secret. It came as no surprise that the common and the wealthy adored the exalted god of strength. However, the poor detested him, because he offered no help to them, no matter how much they prayed and offered what little they had to his alter. Instead, their prayers for mercy and for a change in luck, were answered by the deity of ground. The change of luck came from the death of the former god and his son, paving the way for a new sovereign.
Today, there is uncertainty in the street. Many of the former worshippers of the god of strength believe in one thing. The god of geo, Leona, is unfit to rule. The poor and mistreated have emerged from hiding places in the shadows, filled with newfound confidence for their was finally a god that answered their prayers. However, there remains a growing tension between both factions. Followers of the new god sing his praises, while followers who mourn for his brother believe that everything is falling into disarray.
You were promptly introduced to the god of intellect by his followers that wished to spread the good word. There was something wrong, you and your companion both agreed. How could a powerful god of strength and his young heir just perish without warning? Something was amiss.
This was just a new follower, at least in his eyes. So he brushed you off, allowing you to partake in the best food and drink only his followers had the privilege of receiving. Testing your luck, you decided you would ask him if he knew of a way home. For now you filled him in, explaining your origins and recent adventures. For such a conniving and arrogant leader, he was surprisingly lax. It even appeared as if he wasn't even listening to your words, just dozing off on some pillows. Your words were at least more interesting to him than the rumors of possible unrest.
Perhaps he does know a way for you to return home, but he doesn't want to tell you. It's as simple as that. He likes the new follower, you. Besides, you're not going. There is always the option of traveling further, but why do so when the geo deity has what you need? Leona greatly loathes betrayal from his own worshippers, so you wouldn't leave Savanaclaw to see another god, would you?

OCTAVINELLE
In the seas dwell creatures of unimaginable horrors living deep within the watery depths, across the ocean over turbulent waves there are islands of paradise. The chain of islands composed warm southern beaches and cold northern snowlands. This may be paradise, but a toll must be paid to even get near the islands.
A tax is applied to all arriving merchants wishing to trade and tourists wishing to step foot on the island. It doesn't make much sense, until you see their towns and cities bursting with trade. Business was booming, apparently. The water is clear and pristine, you could see the vibrant coral reefs and schools of fish swimming below.
A god, an archon, the deity of contracts once came from these very waters when there was no land.
Thousands of years ago there was nothing but ocean out this far away from the mainland. That is, until a deity of water appeared from the depths. He promised a new nation to traveling merchants, so long as they worshipped him. The deity introduced himself as Azul.
Azul had grown bored of the dull happenings under the sea, for he had achieved most things beneath the waves. The ocean could not satisfy his endless greed. He had his sights set on higher elevation, with the lofty goal of being just as powerful on land as he was in the ocean. He moved waves, creating tsunamis outward but revealing islands once hidden by water. The merchants took to land and fulfilled their end of the deal, worshipping him while creating a prosperous nation of deals.
In present day, hardly anyplace can compare to the thriving hub the nation has become. However, loyal followers have begun to see his greed. The god of hydro, Azul, is a charlatan. The ocean in all its vastness was not enough to satisfy his desires, it was why he took to land. For the promise of fulfilling prayers, something always must be given in turn or the worshippers must risk going on a quest. But, it is not always as it seems. One way or another, a prayer asking for something will end in the worshipper becoming in debt to him.
In exchange for an answer to the continued question of how to return home, you have nothing to offer for payment except for ideas. Home was modern, this world was not yet on par with the technology you knew. So you offer ideas of inventions, a device to capture an image in time, a mechanism like a box with wheels, a tool to contact someone miles away.
He believes you're quite bright, you think it false flattery to deceive you but you would be wrong. Your ideas are truly brilliant, and will no doubt earn him more millions and influence in other nations on the mainland! Best to take the compliment with a smile, or else this swindler may find a way to trap you in debt. Azul insists you tell him more of your home and your lucrative ideas. Here, a contract, where he shall sell your ideas as goods and you shall reap the rewards! Whatever hearsay you've heard painting him in a bad light, is defamation! Don't fall for it so easily.
Sailing away from Octavinelle would just be a fool's quest. Unless you can escape on a boat that can weather the harshest of sea storms, there is no stepping foot off the island without the risk of drowning. Don't you have more profitable ideas to share with the hydro deity? If not, just listening to your voice would make Azul content than all the gold in the world could.

SCARABIA
Rolling sand dunes stretch as far as the eye could see, and rocky canyons border a savanna. Sandstorms fill the skies like a dark cloud, covering the dry hot land in a new layer of sand once again. Struggle through the scorching days and blistering cold nights, and there will be an oasis in the center between large flowing rivers.
Life follows the flowing waters, and an enormous oasis is planted in the center of the desert. For miles and miles along the banks, are blooming cities and towns. A great contrast to the desert outside, these settlements are overflowing with water, with the greenest gardens and greatest crops.
A god, an archon, the deity of commerce that gave life to a once barren land.
Thousands of years ago, a terrible famine struck the land. All remaining oasis had shriveled up, leading to starvation. A kind-hearted deity of earth took pity on the people. So he decided to extend a helping hand. People would call the deity Kalim.
Kalim used his abilities to create a lush environment, a vast and incredibly rich oasis out of sand in the middle of the desert. When he walked, grass and flowers sprouted from the sand. In days, he managed to create a garden of tremendous size and design, where his new followers could live in peace and luxury by the rivers. Towns and cities were developed, giving way to a grand nation where he resided in comfort and extravagance, surrounded by people that adored him.
Now there is a grand metropolis where there is just as much gold in the markets as there are flowers. The god of dendro, Kalim, is naive. For thousands of years he has been sheltered and treasured by his people. He is oblivious and clumsy, but at the same time he is not foolish. He knows of the people that have attempted to use his abilities for sinister purposes. Although, no one could guess a conniving being plotting against him, resides in his very own palace.
Exciting adventures and thrilling tales, the god of commerce loves to hear your stories of the outside world! First time foreigners are welcomed with open arms, but you are treated as a rare guest with your unique origin. This might just be the most peaceful land you had ever traveled to.
Come, partake in the celebrations! It's easy to forget that such a laidback and cheerful personality belongs to that of a deity that gave life to this region of the desert. Dance, chat, he wishes to do it all with you! The brightness of the fireworks and lively atmosphere is nearly enough to drown out the presence in the shadows you see from the corner of your eyes. A figure with a piercing gaze, watching the jolly divine being with envy in their eyes. With a power as tempting as his, there would be those wishing to snatch it. Kalim distracts you, offering more food and drink with a smile sweeter than any flower.
Why would anyone ever wish to leave this garden that was Scarabia? The outside, the desert and canyons, were harsh and unforgiving. The god of commerce did not wish to see you risk traveling and getting hurt. The dendro deity invites you to stay in the city! Surely you could be happy here with Kalim, right?

POMEFIORE
On elevated lands, between mountains and hills, were endless forests in which travelers often vanished in or were discovered frozen. A winter wonderland, although this wasn't so delightful. It was beautiful, but a deadly kind of beautiful, where you risked being chased by mysterious beasts or becoming lost in blizzards.
The snow may be pure, it may look picturesque upon frozen lakes and lines of white trees, but looks are deceiving. This was once a serene land with a temperate climate, but it has only gotten colder and colder in more recent months until there was not a single spot of green to be seen.
A god, an archon, the deity of curses who was so bitter like the cold that he caused snow to fall all year round.
Stories have told that the land was once warm in springs and summers, only growing cold whenever the divine being was cross. They were frighteningly beautiful and terrifyingly powerful, regal as royalty but at times wrathful. Vil, is what the deity was referred to.
Vil became envious of an emerging figure, so he invoked powerful blizzards and storms. In recent generations, there have been a growing number of his people breaking off into a separate faction that worshipped a younger compassionate god of healing. Enraged by the betrayal of some followers and resentful with biting jealously, many knew that it was only a matter of time before he would snap. This frightening divine being would not accept being dethroned, he would not allow himself to be demoted in the people's hearts.
Civilization continued to thrive, even despite the never-ending snow. And yet, people cannot help but worry what may happen if the cold doesn't let up by spring. The god of cryo, Vil, was pretentious. Anyone who openly voices their distaste for him or a preference for the god of healing, can expect to be encased in ice and used as a display. No one dares to even utter the name of his rival, for fear of incurring his wrath.
Misfortune brought you before the god of curses' throne. Mistakingly his followers had believed you to be worshippers of the god of healing, which you insisted not to know of. You had simply been lost. Maybe it was your gawking at his ethereal appearance, or the compliment you murmured under your breath, but you were not frozen a punishment.
He decided to interrogate you himself, and through his stern questioning you found yourself a nervous mess as you answered honestly but blabbered far too much. Maybe this deity was amused, much like a king would find humor in a pathetic little jester. The divinity that froze nonbelievers into statues for his palace, found you quite endearing. Vil even once smiled at you when you spoke of inconsequential things, warming his heart to which the clouds carrying snow broke apart if for a moment, causing his followers to go into a frenzy fueled by hope.
When leaving Pomefiore is so much as even mentioned, all exits will be frozen shut by the god of curses. Why even venture outside the palace, when you have earned the favor of the cryo deity? Perhaps the land is warmer, but the neighboring nation is dangerous and he forbids the journey. Why would anyone leave after finally melting Vil's icy cold heart?

IGNIHYDE
A forest of dead trees serves as an ominous welcome, or perhaps it was an omen warning incoming travelers. Slopes gave way to valleys, and along the coasts was a heavy mist that painted the vision gray. Homes and buildings, magnificent temples and crumbling feats of architecture, appeared to be floating in white clouds, but in reality they were situated on cliffsides thick with fog.
In the center of the dying forest, there are ruins of a grand temple once belonging to a god that met a tragic end. However, its remnants are closely guarded by mysterious creatures of air that cannot be touched. Legends say the temple was once a place of worship for a fledgling god related to the main god the nation worships today.
A god, an archon, the deity of innovation that has never once shown his face to the public.
Thousands of years ago, a pair of divine beings appeared. They went largely unnoticed for many years, until their brilliant inventions brought awe to those around them, attracting worshippers and diminishing the power of other local gods. The one remaining brother from this pair, is a deity known as Idia.
Idia created wondrous inventions, unintentionally forming a nation of inventors in the process. Withdrawn, dark, and silent, he is quite the unconventional god and yet he begrudgingly rules nonetheless. As reserved as he may be, he is feared among divinity. All lesser gods aiming for his spot are quickly wiped out by his inventions, without him so much as lifting a finger and using his own abilities. They're reduced to mere memories, as nothing is left of them. In times of old, it was once believed that he was a harbinger of death.
On decent days, the sun may shine on the coast, but most days there are heavy clouds and fog. The god of anemo, Idia, is an enigma. Most think him a ghost, for never appearing and for his abilities. The highest families, the most brilliant inventors, even other divine beings may request an audience, but he will never show. No one has ever seen him, all that's known is he is a figure shrouded in black robes like a grim reaper. There are others who believe there are double, because two figures have been spotted once.
You become the first to see his face purely by accident. It seemed he was just as startled of you, as you were of him. Thankfully, you were not going to be blown off the face of the planet by hurricane-level winds. No other god would help, in fact, they wished to keep you here. So you had to turn to him for assistance in finding a way home.
It was only by promising that he could pet Grim, a deal to which the feline disagreed to, did the god reluctantly hear you out. After your explanation, he scoffed as if looking at a simple equation like 2 + 2. Of course he knew the answer, but he wouldn't give out the assistance you needed. The deal was to hear you out, not help you out. He'd become quite bold in the private conversation, a sharp contrast to his previous anxious demeanor. There was no arguing against he who could slaughter gods with a snap of his fingers. Although you aren't as intolerable as other mortals, this he admits.
Departing from Ignihyde is highly unlikely, given how dense the fog is. You cannot even see the ground you're walking on. While, yes, the anemo deity hasn't assisted you, he will, eventually, probably, maybe... You're the first mortal Idia has ever asked to stay, so why would you turn your back to him?

DIASOMNIA
A wall of impenetrable thorns stands in the way, magically opening and creating a clear-cut path through dense forbidding forests lively with critters. The thorn walls close, effectively trapping you. There was something different. It was unlike all the previous nations, the very air itself felt off. With every step deeper into these whimsical woods, it felt as if you were not alone.
Once upon a time, there was a dragon. No one knows how long the dragon has been alive, only that even the oldest tales say he was already ancient way back when. Valleys were shaped by his claws, the rivers from his tail, rare ore came from his fallen scales buried in the earth, the tallest mountains were but small hills to him.
A god, an archon, the deity of dreams is by far the most powerful and most ancient of all divinity in the world.
Peace was his personal preference, as he enjoyed new company which he never truly received due to his fearsome reputation. However, when other divinity sought out his destruction and his home, the deity of electricity raged. Destruction was left in his wake across the entire globe, and everyone came to know the name Malleus.
Malleus commanded thorns to be raised like walls protecting his home, and constant violent storms to ward off anyone threatening to cause trouble. For hundreds of years, no foreigner was allowed to step foot within the nation's boundaries. Anyone that tried would quickly be reduced to ash, and just a number added to the untold amount he's slayed in order to protect himself and his territory. Kind he may be to his own, but to foes he is merciless. With his black horns and piercing eyes, some refer to him as a devil incarnate.
A land unseen by outlanders, it's peaceful and magical in it's beauty. However, it seems that while your presence may be surprising, it is not a shock. You're taken by knights in gray and black, escorted away. The god of electro, Malleus, has invited you to his castle. There is astonishment and disbelief in people's eyes, a foreigner alive and well. Most like you would have been reduced to particles before they could even step foot past the thorns.
Much to your horror, or relief, once you're brought to the god of dreams, he seems delighted to have you here. It seems your presence was expected, as all he said was, "So you've finally come to see me, hm? I was beginning to grow concerned that perhaps I would have been left out of your list of destinations."
This was the last option, the only one you could turn to in finding a way home. Surely, the most ancient and powerful deity would hold the answer and assist you, since he had been so kind as to allow you inside his nation. Although as welcoming as he may be, you must remember that despite his fang-toothed smile and the twinkle in his eyes, this man– no, god, was archaic and all-powerful. He must have killed more people than you will ever know, wiped out whole armies and flattened entire nations. Malleus tilts his head at you, requesting that you recount your tale, with every minute detail.
This will be the end, there will be no escaping Diasomnia. Of course, you shall not know until later. For now, the god of dreams delights in your stories. You were the first guest he's had in thousands of years, and one of the few who did not wish to slay the legendary dragon that was the electro deity. Malleus knows what you desire, he has seen it in your dreams. However, he will not be kind and grant you what you sought. If he did, then what he desired would then vanish: you.
#outlander twst#yandere#yandere x darling#yandere x y/n#yandere x you#yandere x reader#riddle rosehearts#twst riddle#yandere riddle rosehearts#leona kingscholar#twst leona#yandere leona kingscholar#azul ashengrotto#twst azul#yandere azul ashengrotto#kalim al asim#twst kalim#yandere kalim al asim#vil schoenheit#twst vil#yandere vil schoenheit#soft yan vil#idia shroud#twst idia#yandere idia shroud#malleus draconia#twst malleus#yandere malleus draconia#twisted wonderland#twst
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⋆˙⟡ i hope ur miserable until ur dead, chris sturniolo
exboyfriend!chris x fem!reader
synopsis. in which you walk away from chris after realising he’s run out of chances to break your heart.
warnings. toxic relationship, manipulation, angst, self-worth, heartbreak, mentions of cheating.
word count. 1k.
authors note. divider by @bernardsbendystraws



you didn’t remember the exact moment things with chris turned sour. maybe it was gradual, like a slow rot. or maybe it was all at once, like a knife to the chest. but here you were, sitting on the bathroom floor of your apartment, surrounded by the wreckage of what used to be. a hoodie that still smelled like him lay discarded near the shower. his voice echoed in your head—louder now that he wasn’t around.
and god, you hated him for it.
chris had this way of making you feel like the only person in the room. his smile could light up a thousand cities, but it also hid a darkness you were too naïve to see. he loved bombarding you with sweetness when it suited him, but the second you needed something real, he vanished. he knew just how to break you—and he did. over, and over, and over.
the first time he cheated, he called it a “mistake.” the second time, he swore it wasn’t what it looked like. the third time, he didn’t even bother to explain.
you tried to leave. you did leave. but every time, he came back, full of apologies and empty promises. he’d shown up at your door with red-rimmed eyes, clutching the stupid flowers he knew you loved. you were his favourite puppet, and he pulled your strings so expertly that didn’t even realise you were being controlled.
but this time was different. this time, you were done.
you clenched your fists so hard your nails dug into your palms. that night replayed in your mind like a cruel loop. it was a party, one you hadn’t even wanted to go to. he told you, he’d behave, that he’d be different this time. yet, you found him in the back room, lips locked with someone else. her laugh still haunted you. the way she smirked like you were the joke, made your blood boil. and him? he didn’t even bother chasing after you. he just stood there, letting you walk away.
it had been two months since that night. two months of silence. two months of fighting every urge to check his instagram or answer his late-night texts. the texts where he’d say he missed you, that he still loved you. but love wasn’t supposed to feel like this, was it? love wasn’t supposed to feel like drowning.
chris wasn’t faring much better. he liked to pretend he was fine—laughing with his brothers, posting dumb tiktoks, keeping up appearances. but the second he was alone, the weight of it hit him. he knew he messed up. he always messed up. and for once, he wasn’t sure how to fix it.
it wasn’t supposed to be like this. he wasn’t supposed to care this much. he was chris, the guy who didn’t do commitment, the guy who didn’t get attached. but with you? he was different. you made him feel things he didn’t want to feel. vulnerable. seen. and that scared the hell out of him.
that’s why he pushed you away. that’s why he let himself ruin everything. because if he didn’t, you’d see him for who he really was—a mess of a person who didn’t deserve someone like you.
but now that you were gone, the silence was unbearable. he hated it. hated how you weren’t blowing up his phone anymore, demanding answers. hated how you were out there, living your life without him. he thought about calling, about apologizing. but he knew it wouldn’t be enough. it was never enough.
one night, he finally cracked. he showed up at your door, the same stupid flowers in hand. but this time, when you opened it, your expression wasn’t soft or forgiving. it was cold.
“what do you want, chris?” you asked, your voice flat.
“i just—i wanted to talk. please, y/n. just hear me out.”
you crossed your arms, leaning against the doorframe. “talk, then.”
he faltered, his rehearsed speech crumbling under your glare. “i’m sorry. for everything. i know i don’t deserve another chance, but—”
“you’re right,” you cut him off. “you don’t.”
his eyes widened, taken aback by your tone. “y/n, please—”
“no, chris. you don’t get to do this. you don’t get to waltz back into my life and expect me to forgive you. not after everything you’ve done.”
“i love you,” he blurted out, desperation dripping from his words.
you laughed—a bitter, hollow sound. “you don’t love me, chris. you love the idea of me. you love knowing i’ll be here to pick up the pieces every time you shatter them. but guess what? not anymore.”
you stepped back, ready to close the door, but he stopped you. his hand pressed against the wood, his eyes pleading. “y/n, i need you.”
“you need me?” you repeated, your voice rising. “you need me like you needed her? like you needed all those other girls?”
he flinched like you’d slapped him, but you didn’t care. for once, you didn’t care about sparing his feelings.
“you don’t get to need me, chris. you don’t get to want me now that i’m finally putting myself back together. so go, chris. i don’t want to see you ever again.
and with that, you slammed the door in his face, your chest heaving. you slid to the floor, tears streaming down your face. but for the first time in a long time, they weren’t tears of defeat. they were tears of release.
chris stood there for what felt like forever, the weight of your words sinking in. he wanted to hate you for them, but he couldn’t. because you were right. he deserved it—all of it. and as he walked away, the reality of his loneliness hit him like a freight train.
he didn’t know if he’d ever recover from this, but one thing was certain; he would never find anyone like you again.
and that was his punishment.
#chris sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#sturniolo#sturniolo triplets#nicolas sturniolo#sturniolo edit#sturniolo fanfic#sturniolo imagine#sturniolo x reader#sturniolo smut#matt sturniolo smut#matthew sturniolo#nick sturniolo#matt sturniolo#chris sturniolo angst#chris sturniolo smut#matt sturniolo angst#and chris sturniolo#chris sturniolo x you#chris sturniolo x reader#matt sturniolo x you#matt sturniolo x reader
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So I'm going to ask an honest question here and ask you please explain in layman's terms. Every trans person I know irl has no concept of the transandrophobia discourse but every time I see more of it online I'm...unsettled, and it takes a lot to power through all the terminology.
I initially was really receptive to transandrophobia because the rationale behind being against it sounded stupid and akin to label discourse in the queer community. I saw "being a man is not an axis of oppression therefore you don't get your Own Word" and thought that was pedantic nonsense, that language doesn't need to adhere to that rule, and that it's helpful to have a term designated towards transmasculine experiences so people can find those experiences easier. Not that trans women's experiences aren't also beneficial! But that, well, obviously no matter how similar the experience birds of a feather and that sense of comfort of sharing identity still matters. This is true for other issues of identity too, I find, weather that's a good thing or a bad thing idk, but it is human.
The thing is I follow a lot of transwomen and have been seeing some alarms being raised about the community being formed around this word. You blocked one of the most egregious offenders so I trust you (which is why I'm asking sorry) I've seen a lot of misogyny and essentialism from people using the term "transandrophobia" and more egregiously "transmisandry." Idk your opinion on the latter term (I haven't scrolled down far enough on your blog, sorry if you talked about this before) but to me it's unconscionable. I was taught that transandrophobia existed as a term specifically NOT to use that term, that elevating misandry to a legitimate issue was dangerous for obvious reasons and it was one of the reasons why I was so supportive of transandrophobia. To me, it seemed like an awareness that misogyny was the prevailing issue behind all issues of gender oppression, but when I actually look at the tag I...get uncomfortable.
Blogs I follow have repeatedly been upset at misogyny from this community, and have been using the term "transandrobro" to describe behavior they find akin to cis MRAs. I've truly seen horrible things with hundreds, sometimes thousands of notes to it that do, unfortunately, feel like women are being blamed for the plight of trans men. I've seen cis people say they were originally on MRA reddits and then came to tumblr to "confront the misandry directly" only to wholeheartedly adopt transandrophobia into their worldview. It's hard because I KNOW I shouldn't judge a community based on a few crazies but it truly does feel sometimes like "transandrophobia" gives misogynists a venue to air their woman-hating to an eager audience, kinda like how "Karen" has been co-opted beyond the og meaning of being for racist white woman to any woman being mildly rude.
So like, here it is: can transandrophobia exist without being co-opted by misogynists? Is there a threshold of proliferation for misogynists destroying this word until a new one needs to be made? Or will every word trying to identify the transmasculine experience be inevitably co-opted by misogynists because misogynists are just that powerful, so people should double down harder on the word and work to push misogynists out?
(Also am I going crazy, or did this word a year ago used to have a WAY better community than the one I see nowadays. Back then I could find your blog and really compassionate people easily, and now it's just...bad.)
It is a little hard to understand some of this post but I will do my best to answer what I think is being asked.
To put simply, I think the reason why it was better a year or two ago is because the majority of the people who were actually trying to further the conversation and not just circle jerk in the echo chamber got chased off. Transandrophobia, anti-transmasculinity, transandromisia, transmascphobia... the guys who coined these are largely either not posting at all anymore or post far far less than they used to. They were harassed and the constant exposure to transphobia made them shut down their blogs for their own mental health. Not all of them, but a lot of the so-called "big names" had this happen.
Even I stopped posting for a while and shuttered the doors for a bit outside of a long queue of dog photos because of how much it was affecting my mental health.
In their place remain people who are not committed to the same conversation. Perhaps they are younger, or less familiar with the building blocks of theory that really should be required reading, or are still stuck in their "everything sucks and it's YOUR fault" phase. Maybe they do come from different places, like 4chan or reddit, which are less prone to this sort of discussion. A lot of the original crowd had been on tumblr long enough to remember when we could still edit posts, and I keep seeing people who would have been in elementary school at that time posting to the tag nowadays.
I was discussing this problem on discord with a small group of friends and one of them- a trans fem- called it second wave transandrophobia discourse as a bitter joke. I think she is more right than wrong, regardless.
I'm not sure who you believe I've blocked- in general I don't air out who I block on this blog because at nearly 12k followers there are too many people who would love to dogpile someone for the sin of disagreeing with me and I do my best to prevent that. I don't want anyone to be harassed, after all. There's a lot of assumptions that have been made about my block and follow behavior that vary from "hilarious but untrue" to "outright offensive slander".
People are people, and some people are shitheads. Trans mascs and people who want to support trans mascs are not exempt from that. I say this all the time- Kayne West is objectively a shitty person but his existence doesn't prove the concept of antiblackness to be a myth. Caitlyn Jenner is objectively a shitty person but her existence doesn't prove the concept of transmisogyny to be a myth. So why do shitty trans mascs prove our own theory to be dangerous or nonexistent? Why hold us to a higher standard than any other marginalized group?
I could ask you the same question- there are posts on here with hundreds, sometimes thousands, of notes made by trans fems and cis women who blame their problems with transmisogyny on trans mascs. There are people coming from reddit, Twitter, 4chan who are being actively transphobic and misogynistic and claiming they're doing it for the good of transfeminism. There are posts filled with misogyny and bioessentialism and gender essentialism and even interphobia and racism and transphobia being left completely unchecked. Do you think it would be acceptable for me to ask if that means transmisogyny theory should be abandoned or if we should just accept that it will draw people with bad intentions?
Or do you think the better answer is to focus instead on finding those with a good head on their shoulders, and making sure it's them who has their voice heard? Do you think we should maybe not judge entire demographics because there exists some shitty people who claim the same identity?
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I have two notes about common Xianxia lore for folks who (like me) came to read Scum Villain’s Self Saving System after reading Modao Zushi or watching one of its adaptations.
1: Core Formation is (usually) a Middle to Late Stage of Cultivation
MDZS simplifies things and puts all its emphasis on golden cores for obvious reasons (*cough*the-core-transfer*cough*), but in most Xianxia works a golden core is not something obtained early on in the cultivation process.
The four most common cultivation stages, in order, are:
Qi Refining (练气)
Foundation Establishment (筑基)
Core Formation (结丹)
Nascent Soul (元婴)
Now a lot of Xianxia novels do add on to these¹, which can shift core formation earlier or later in the cultivation journey, but these four are rarely omitted.
While SVSSS doesn’t give us all the details, we can be fairly confident PIDW hasn’t paired down cultivation just to golden cores for a few reasons:
First, Shen Yuan complains about Airplane confusing ‘Foundation Establishment’ and ‘Nascent Soul’:
What kind of cultivation world had an author who occasionally mixed up even the stages of Foundation Establishment and Nascent Soul?
SVSSS Volume 1, Chapter 1
This would be a very strange complaint if neither ‘Foundation Establishment’ nor ‘Nascent Soul’ were cultivation stages included in PIDW.
Second, we know Shen Qingqiu didn't reach core formation until after he became a peak lord and accepted Binghe onto his peak.
Luo Binghe was using the incorrect cultivation manual that Shen Qingqiu had handed him; he should have long since died bleeding from the seven apertures, his body rupturing down to his bones, skin, meridians, tendons, and flesh. But not only had this failed to come to pass, Luo Binghe’s cultivation was steadily improving.
Furthermore, Shen Qingqiu had told Ning Yingying thousands of times to stay far away from Luo Binghe and that she wasn’t allowed to get involved with him. So why did he see them every day, whispering together before his eyes?
Shen Qingqiu was filled with paranoia; he forever felt like everyone was secretly talking behind his back, discussing how he’d been unable to attain Core Formation even after this long. That it was unbecoming for one in his position. That they hoped to secretly finish him off and replace him.
SVSSS Volume 4, Chapter 24, Part 5
Putting Shen Qingqiu's paranoia aside, there is no way he would have been named Qing Jing's succeeding disciple without a golden core if the PIDW world operated like the one in MDZS.
‘Foundation Establishment’ is on the weaker end for the various sect leaders and peak lords I've read about in Xianxia works, but far from impossible.
(The most common stage for sect leaders and peak lords —in works without post-Nascent Soul additions— seems to be ‘Core Formation.’ Those in the ‘Nascent Soul’ stage seem to spend most of their time in seclusion, which is probably why they don’t usually have roles in sect management).
2: Demonic Qi is NOT Resentment
With both in-universe detractors and the 7seas translation calling Wei Wuxian’s resentment manipulation ‘demonic,’ it is understandable that many people mistake ‘Demonic Qi’ and ‘Resentment’ as the same thing. They are not.
Based on the works I’ve read, ‘Demonic Qi’ is essentially a different flavor or ‘polarity’ of ‘Spiritual Qi’. It’s not the same as spiritual qi, but it’s the same kind of energy, just twisted or tainted in some manner, and often favoring yin over yang.
(It may help to think of them as similar to the 'Light Side' and the ‘Dark Side’ of the Force. No matter how diametrically opposed the philosophies and the techniques of their users, they are still both ‘the Force’).
Precisely how different ‘demonic’ and ‘spiritual’ qi are from one another, and how easy it is to distinguish between them, depends on the particular Xianxia work you are reading. In some the difference is really obvious, while in others you may need a higher cultivation level, a special technique, or a spiritual tool to tell. In many works ‘demonic’ vs ‘spiritual’ seems more like a gradient than a strict ‘either or’.
In SVSSS, the difference between demonic qi and spiritual qi is more on the obvious end, with traces of demonic qi detectible by basic talismans, and demonic qi itself often described as ‘black’ or ‘purple-black’, compared to spiritual qi which is most often described as ‘white’.
With that in mind, it should be noted Yue Qingyuan’s spiritual qi actually takes a temporary shift towards the demonic at one point, presumably due to his heart demons:
He’d barely done so when, next to him, Mu Qingfang anxiously said, “Zhangmen-shixiong, you were in secluded cultivation and forcefully interrupted your training, then faced these strong foes. It was already terribly hard on you. By pushing yourself to draw your sword now, I’m afraid your body will really…”
A burst of black qi rose from Yue Qingyuan’s face, but he forced it back down. “Even if I can’t, I must,” he said in a strained voice. “Shidi has already died once, and at that moment, I was unable to protect him. How can I watch him go to his death a second time?
SVSSS Volume 2, Chapter 13
Unless I'm misunderstanding something, this really is a matter of heart demons tainting his qi, not him suddenly generating or gathering resentment.
Now Resentment is a form of energy that belongs exclusively to the dead. Unlike spiritual and demonic qi, it doesn’t appear to have any use in progressing through the typical ‘stages’ of cultivation.¹
(Even in works that include ghosts who are able to cultivate, I’ve yet to see mention of them cultivating directly with resentment, despite being empowered by it).
To be clear, this doesn’t mean demons and demonic cultivators can’t use resentment² (demons and demonic cultivators are notorious for gaining power by any means necessary, and with how often demonic cultivators kill people horribly resentment is a prevalent resource), it just means that demonic qi and resentment are different from one another.
If anyone with more knowledge on the subject finds fault with my explanations, please let me know! Since I do read translations, and I certainly haven’t read every Xianxia work in existence, there is always the possibility I’ve developed misunderstandings of my own.
1.1: Just for fun, here are some examples of additional cultivation stages I’ve seen:
‘Qi Gathering’ before ‘Qi Refining’
‘Qi Condensation’ between ‘Qi Refining’ and ‘Foundation Establishment’
‘Core Formation’ as a separate step before ‘Golden Core’
So many different additions after ‘Nascent Soul’ 😵💫 (said additions often make Nascent Soul the midpoint in that particular setting)
If anyone wants a specific example of a more extended set of cultivation stages, here are the nine stages from “Devil Venerable Also Wants to Know”:
Qi Gathering
Qi Refining
Foundation Establishment
Core Formation
Nascent Soul
Deity Transformation
Body Unity
Void Boundary
Mahayana
2.1: In works where ghosts can cultivate, human ghosts seem to form golden cores (金丹 jīndān) same as living humans, not ‘resentful’ cores.
The only alternative core types I’ve seen mentioned (in works that actually do have different core varieties) are demon cores (魔核 móhé) and yao cores (妖核 yāohé).
2.2: If you want to read a work with ‘demons’ that do use resentment, I recommend the Wuxia novel “Dinghai Fusheng Records.”
In said novel, the Spiritual Qi of the Heavens and Earth disappeared three hundred years ago, so the ‘Devil God’ and his followers have adapted to use resentment instead.
#MDZS#SVSSS#SVSSS Analysis#Scum Villian’s Self Saving System#* Achieving core formation before your 20s isn't impossible- but you can expect *everyone* you meet to comment on how impressive it is#* By ‘isn’t impossible’ I mean it happens fairly often but only to protagonists and prodigies 😂#* If you’re writing an AU where LBH’s cultivation was never sabotaged- then giving *him* a core as a teen is within genre expectations#* I will also note that if a sect leader or peak lord hasn't reached core formation- it seems to be a bit of a villain flag#* Chances are good they either have or will turn to demonic cultivation to secretly speed up the process#* Kudos to SJ for not doing that I suppose!
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I decided to practice some profiles and ended up drawing a bunch of HP characters based on book quotes. (I have 2 more pieces like this with some of the adult characters. I will clean them up and post them too).
Under the cut are the quotes I used as references for the characters' appearance, because too much research went into that.
Harry gets two whole posts about his looks - here & here. But I also want to note this line:
We even look something alike...
(CoS)
And we know Tom is hot, and Harry is also seen as hot by other characters.
(His scar isn't here since I place it on the other side of his face)
Ron doesn't have as many quotes, but this one covers almost everything about his appeaence:
He [Ron] seemed to have grown several more inches during their month apart, making him taller and more gangly-looking than ever, though the long nose, bright red hair, and freckles were the same.
(OotP)
His blue eyes are from a JKR interview, I could not find a mention in the books:
MA: What color are Ron's eyes? JKR: Ron's eyes are blue. Have I never said that, ever? [JKR covers her eyes.]
(From JKR)
Edit: @blue-cookies-and-wise-owls replied with the book quote regarding Ron's eye color:
Ron was breathing heavily: His eyes were no longer red at all, but their normal blue; they were also wet.
(DH)
Hermione also got her own post here.
Ginny is talked about here. But I will add this quote that tells us Ginny is good-looking (because Harry doesn't really mention it):
“Potter, precious Potter, obviously he wanted a look at ‘the Chosen One,’ ” sneered Malfoy, “but that Weasley girl! What’s so special about her?” “A lot of boys like her,” said Pansy, watching Malfoy out of the corner of her eyes for his reaction. “Even you think she’s good-looking, don’t you, Blaise, and we all know how hard you are to please!” “I wouldn’t touch a filthy little blood traitor like her whatever she looked like,” said Zabini coldly, and Pansy looked pleased. Malfoy sank back across her lap and allowed her to resume the stroking of his hair.
(HBP)
Luna has two main quotes I used:
The girl beside the window looked up. She had straggly, waist-length, dirty-blond hair, very pale eyebrows, and protuberant eyes that gave her a permanently surprised look. Harry knew at once why Neville had chosen to pass this compartment by. The girl gave off an aura of distinct dottiness.
(OotP)
“Can you?” said Harry desperately, turning to Luna. He could see the bat-winged horses reflected in her wide, silvery eyes.
(OotP)
Her hair is "dirty blond" but her eyebrows are "extremely pale", so I tried to balance these two contradictions with JKR's depiction of her.
Neville doesn't have much mentioned about his coloring (though JKR mentioned it in an interview), but he is said to look similar to young Pettigrew — so, I went with blond hair (though not the same shade I gave Pettigrew). And brown eyes, because I think it suits Neville.
Looking around, he saw Neville’s pale, round face flat against the floor.
(HBP)
Sirius Black blasting Peter Pettigrew (who resembled Neville Longbottom) into a thousand pieces.
(PoA)
Now, to me, Neville's short and plump and blond,
(from JKR)
Theo has basically nothing about his appearance, so this is very much in my headcanon space. Literally the only thing I know about his appearance is that he looks "weedy" and "stringy" — so thin and tall.
together with a weedy-looking boy Hermione whispered was called Theodore Nott.
(OotP)
a stringy Slytherin boy standing just behind Goyle was watching the horse eating with an expression of great distaste on his face
(OotP)
Draco has a lot of quotes about his appearance, and they're all very consistent so here are a few:
The man who followed could only be Draco’s father. He had the same pale, pointed face and identical cold, gray eyes.
(CoS)
Malfoy, who had a pale, pointed, sneering face
(PoA)
Harry did not dare look directly at Draco, but saw him obliquely: a figure slightly taller than he was, rising from an armchair, his face a pale and pointed blur beneath white-blond hair.
(DH)
#harry potter#hp#hp fanart#harry james potter#ron weasley#ginny weasley#luna lovegood#neville longbottom#theodore nott#draco malfoy#my art#hollowedart#hollowed hp redesign#artists on tumblr#anti hinny#a bit because I can't help myself#nothing against hinny shippers they are just really badly written#also while working on these I leaned “pale eyes” equals “gray eyes” in jkr's writing#Luna and Draco both have “pale eyes” that are also described as gray#Sirius's eye color is not mentioned in the books (JKR said it's gray in an interview) but padfoot was mentioned to have “pale eyes”
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The Ruler Reactions
Gay people on national television! This one’s really long. If you read any one thing off this post let it be my analysis of Nath’s bedroom layout. Should I post that on its own, too?
Did they retcon his family to be ginger I’m confused. Oh wait no, I think the dad is, but the mom has brown hair? Curse the way they shade brown hair with orange highlights; it’s confusing, and it doesn’t help that Nath’s hair color right now looks more like his dad’s natural hair than his mom’s.
Nath’s miraculous is like a 〰️ shape
Pinkie Pie ass family dynamic
The dad, who I guess doesn’t have a name yet (?), is giving me basic businessman energy based on his outfit. He has a kind of douchey looking suit and aviator sunglasses
Dude their house is MASSIVE where do they even live?!?!? Is this one of those mansions that’s really far from central Paris? Like holy shit it’s huge and in one of the most expensive locations in the world, too. Is Shirel such a famous and successful architect that she’s that rich, or does the dad maybe have a very high-paying job?
Ew so the dad is one of those “I’m fine with gay people, but not everything has to be gay/ I’m okay with the distant, abstract concept of LGBTQ, but I don’t like to actually see it existing openly irl and deny it could apply to the people close to me” people
Local man prefers nonsensical, out-of-character het ship over well-developed and textually intentional same-sex relationship, hundred dead, thousands injured
Nice to see them making original stories instead of Ladybug rpf
You should talk to your good old pal Marc your buddy your bro
LMAO Marc has the same exact haircut as his mom. How did two boho hipster special brownie recipe Fleetwood Mac vinyl collection parents have such a Hot Topic son? Must be adopted
^ wait actually unironically might he be? I’m taking a closer look, and usually, they give the characters obviously similar features to their parents. His mom might have green eyes, and her mouth and chin shape look like him as well as maybe the ears, and obv they have the same hair texture. I don’t really see anything in common with the dad, though, and neither of their noses look like Marc’s, plus his skin tone is different from both of them and they have thinner eyebrows than him. We don’t know what color the dad’s hair used to be, but Marc clearly didn’t get it from his mom. It could be that the mom is his bio mom, but the dad is a stepdad?
The mom has a skirt with sun patterns and rainbow earrings. Nice to see her supporting her son’s character design motifs. How much do you wanna bet they all have pun names based on the sky like Sol(omon) or Sunny or Luna or Stella? Im putting all my money down, just look at the (a)Couffaines. I’m sure we’ll get more about them in another episode
Everyone’s got their shoes on the couch. Evil
Marc and Nathaniel’s moms would look like Ms Frizzle if they fused together
Marinette reminds me of that one Chris Fleming Gayle skit about cleaning the house. “get rid of the couch. We can’t let people know we sit!”
“I can’t go to school like this!” Because she’s embarrassed about snot and not because she’s ill. Hey Mari remember that time you starred in a COVID-19 PSA? What happened to that, did you learn nothing?
Okay so Diane is literally Nagito Komaeda I see how it is. Write this down for your Danganronpa AUs guys, she’s the ultimate lucky student. Sometimes I think about the early concept where the school they all go to is for elite and talented students… like girl that’s Danganronpa school. And that’s why all the kids are exceptionally good at at least one thing. Diane probably would’ve gotten accepted through some sort of lottery scholarship let’s be real. Side note, I saw the English dub gave her a South African accent which is so cute! They’ve been going off with foreign accents this season in all these different dubs
Marc has a rainbow “lightning bolt” logo of some sort on the back of his shirt
“Probably a jet plane” LMAO
So Marc really does have makeup on just one eye huh. Idk how I feel about that I mean it’s unique and the lightning bolt is kinda cool. I think I would’ve put the makeup and earring on opposite sides because it feels a bit unbalanced.
“It’s as if everything [the heroes] confronted led them to a final revelation” oh Adrien baby you weren’t there for your final revelation
“It’s our story, yours and mine” “it’s more than that, it’s our story, all of us!” Mylene is bi y’all I’ve been saying it. Myvan is bi4bi mark my words. “She’s wearing a pride pin because she’s an ally” you fools, that pin is for HER
To clarify, when she said that ^ I’m pretty sure it meant like the story represents the experiences of all queer people who read it and see themselves in it
Marc’s schoolbag has a tie-dye rainbow flap and the strap is studded like his belt. Nath’s is paint-splattered, and the flap has a comic book POW sunburst with a half-tone pattern and a graffiti tag. Gone are the days of everyone having bags that were the same assets, just randomly recolored in different pastel shades.
“I won’t hold it against you, it won’t change anything between us” <- lying, probably
Genuinely what is Nathaniel doing all day to get paint splatters all over his overalls, shoes, and bag? That’s one character design trope i do not enjoy because it’s so quirky Pinterest art hoe manic pixie dream girl, and it doesn’t even make sense because he’s almost always shown using pen and pencil, markers, and digital media. Show him painting more murals or something to justify this. Or give him a yellow Kanken, a huge reusable water bottle, and a phone case with a famous Impressionist painting on it idk.
^ also knowing how rich his family is now, the whole messy-on-purpose aesthetic is giving Coachella attendee idk like trust fund baby cosplaying as a Home Depot employee. Does this make any sense
Seeing Ziggy participating in all this and Nath asking for her opinion makes it even weirder that Ivan wasn’t talking to Stompp last time. See, Nath and Sabrina are making the most out of their free dogs.
The big nostrils they gave her are kind of distracting, though, and I feel like they make her less cute? If I were to draw a goat from memory I wouldn’t give it particularly large nostrils
He has the Adrienette fairytale AU art above his desk. “Oh Mariknight, we’re really in it now”
More epic art! This is still Avril Circus, right? I guess they really got into the romantasy genre
So obv the knights represent them, but I’m thinking are the helmets supposed to be like fur and feather themed to nod towards their hero designs? Is that a stretch?
“He’d rather lose his powers than his partner” that’s the line of the day right there ^ we are so coming back to that later as it shows how different Marc and Nath as well as Alya and Nino’s priorities are than Marinette’s
“They can’t lose their powers, it’s not fair” oh this is so foreshadowing. It also reminds me of the overarching idea that as a miraculous holder you can kind of just do whatever you want, and that you can create a third outcome instead of choosing between two bad things
Really interesting how Nath’s room is so huge, but only the tiny, hidden-away corner of his desk is decorated or representative of his personality in any way. The rest of the room is neutral and boring like it’s from a real estate catalogue, and is clearly in his mom’s style rather than his own. That shows how controlling she is and how even in his own bedroom the space represents what she wants without considering him. There’s even an abstract painting with harsh black smears and a bunch of eyes on it? It’s like his parents put that up to make him feel like he’s constantly being observed or scrutinized by them even when they aren’t physically there, which follows him away from home as well. Creepy af and reminds me of that one psychology thing where putting up posters of eyes is supposed to deter people from stealing. He has to shove his true self into one little corner as far from the door’s line of sight as possible where he can block what he’s doing with his back.
And this whole “true self vs my parents want me to be a certain way” thing is put in the context of homophobia in this episode, but I think it goes deeper than that. His sexuality and career plan are just two examples in what’s likely a constant stream of “hey you’re not existing correctly please fix that”
When Gabriel Agreste in s4 came out I made a post about the juxtaposed shots of Adrien and Marinette’s scenes with how Adrien’s house is oppressively empty and colorless while Marinette’s bedroom and visit to the art room were colorful, crowded, and filled with details full of personality and warmth. They’re doing it again with Marc and Nathaniel’s houses as a parallel to Marinette and Adrien, and showing us the Mariknight art from that episode solidifies the callback. Even then, despite the rest of the house being cold af, Adrien got to have a bunch of colorful games, music, and a TV in his bedroom even though he didn’t really choose which enrichment got thrown into his enclosure. As far as I can tell, Nathaniel just has art supplies. How is Shirel worse than Gabriel in this regard the bar is in hell
Nath rewrote the ending and Marc liked it better hm. He’s also taking poetry class. Before, Nath said he was bad at writing, but it seems like he’s improving. I wonder if they’re moving in the direction of him making solo comics later on. Not saying he and Marc are gonna stop working together or anything, but Nath wants to do this for a living and we don’t have any indication of what Marc wants to do yet, so there’s a chance comics might be a hobby project for him in the future. By which I mean when they’re adults, not like, later this season.
Nath hid what he was holding as soon as he heard the door that’s a reflex
LMAO they’re referencing the famous “does Adrien smell like cheese” fandom question
Talk about comic relief after all that stuff I just talked about ahaha
I hope the proof poster is gonna be up in the background of Marinette’s room from now on
Ok so they just look through his stuff in his room ok
“I’m okay with gay people as long as that doesn’t include you”
That mindset that you need to have a useful, stable job and make a ton of money and be productive 24/7 is like the Jewish version of the stereotypical “why no A+” Asian parents it’s like “you’re gonna pay our bills when we’re old, right? Why are you slacking off then, why no doctor or lawyer or business executive?”
Girl she threw that entire thick ass packet in the shredder with the BINDER CLIPS still on it?!? What kind of diamond drill bits are built into that thing
Oh hi Fred
First time a side character is abusing their powers for something stupid. I hope this won’t be a problem for him in the future,,, he’s a bit too casual about running around and transforming for personal reasons
Reverser callback, Nathaniel is once again doing destructive bullshit in the heat of the moment that will harm everyone involved instead of doing anything rational
No Alix for him to talk about his feelings with this time though :( when will platonic wife come home from the war
Thinking about that one analysis post I read that was posted forever ago where OP theorized/headcanoned that he has BPD you were so real for that
That was like a bajillion dollars worth of printer ink, rich kid
Maybe you should’ve talked to Marinette before going to school…
“So you were the jet plane?” Lmao
“Comic books are so you” “you’re only saying that because it’s all I’ve ever done” I mean he’s not exactly wrong about that. I don’t think he’s been shown to have any hobbies or specific skills outside of art
“Please respect my choice” callback to Penalteam when he said no to the miraculous and she was like… ok here it is anyway, see you at the akuma battle in five minutes
Aw that hug was sweet. Me personally though, I wouldn’t hug someone with a red nose and puffy eyes who just sneezed through the sound barrier moments ago. Lila wins by default because the whole team gets incapacitated by The Plague.
My “friend”
New teacher just dropped! The gardening teacher has flowers in her hair and patched up knees on her overalls cute
“I didn’t know tomatoes cry when you cut them” yes Nathaniel is very sad right now
Strike two of Nath making Marc cry, thin fucking ice
I need to know more about this academic vampire coven. There’s the poetry teacher and… maybe a school nurse? Both with bat accessories. Putting punk spikes all around the handles of a wheelchair is crazy btw. “Help me with my wheelchair, but also it’s a torture device. If you say no you’re ableist”
“If they were real art they’d be in the louvre” girl is YOUR art in the louvre, huh?
“Comics (allegory for being gay) aren’t real art” ma’am the entire LGBTQ community is currently looking down and watching you from the balconies
How are you homophobic while wearing quirky miniature-object earrings that represent what your job is, that’s a lesbian symbol
Also your son looks like if a man and a woman had a baby so this is your fault
Ok forcefully dragging him by the forearm
Very interesting that Lila didn’t attempt to akumatize Nathaniel during his breakdown but waited for his mom to get more upset,,, will expand on this later
“I’ll give you the power to literally put your kid through instant conversion therapy! It’s gonna work this time.” Wtfffff also the extremely blatant villain name pun is kind of lost in English
Marc has broken the fourth wall a couple times, he knows he has enough plot armor to jump a supervillain without transforming and not get seriously injured
Transformation! His design eats so hard I’m obsessed, and he’s skipping around like a baby goat. The spiky parts of his hair on the sides kind of look like floppy goat ears and the back of his jacket ends in a little white triangle hanging out that looks like a tail :)
How was he doing all that in that tiny closet? *onlooker sees the closet rattling violently and the legs of a poorly made 3D model clipping in and out of it* and yeah yeah he’s done hiding busting out of the literal closet yeah
I do appreciate a teen coming out story where the character is fully aware of their sexuality beforehand btw. None of that “b-but we’re both boys 🥺” trope just a guy who is openly bi and dating a boy at school but has to hide it at home
Ok this is so nit picky but I do wish they did something to suggest he is bisexual in this episode. Totally understandable to focus on mlm relationships, but I see what I imagine are young kids on the insta side of the fandom get confused about season 1 and assume he “became” gay, or I guess had massive comp-het idk. They might be reinforcing that idea here. I hope there’s something later on at least, like that time Rose joked about kissing both Mari and Adrien.
“I need to find my son” I already found MY son get away from him
Bro thinks he’s Splatoon
Those markers cost also a bajillion dollars. I mean they’re like magically generated so I guess it doesn’t count but still. Also are they… just regular art supplies he’s using or are they real weapons that look like art supplies because his power can’t make magical objects. If he’s just launching plastic rectangles at an armored knight that’s not very effective
Love the cunty Bayonetta style kick from chat noir
I guesssss it makes sense why Lila wants to turn CN on LB and get him to bring both the miraculous but like,,, you’re better off asking him to give you his ring first and then go after LB yourself whether you get her or not
This is the part of the episode where the hero explains what’s going on between them and the villain very explicitly in case you didn’t get it yet
Phew good thing mind control victims will respond to anyone’s orders
“Adrien is gonna have a villain arc” well it just happened and it’s that he turned into an Axe body spray boy
Oh what the fuck why is Lila calling out Nathaniel by full government name that’s creepy. Is she onto him for potentially being a superhero? Tbf he did transform twice in front of huge windows. And he stuck to the artist shtick a little too hard. If she suspects him then she’s not entirely sure yet? To expand on stuff from earlier, in Daddycop, she tried to akumatize Sabrina after she ran away crying, but didn’t do the same to Nathaniel even though he was arguably more upset. In El Toro de Piedra, there was a suspicious figure stalking Ivan, but I didn’t notice anyone like that here. In both those episodes, she didn’t say anything specific about Sabrina nor Ivan, so what’s going on in this one? Perhaps she was watching him in the scene where he went to destroy the prints?
Another episode where the shitty parents become niceys at the end. Please don’t let them magically be perfect form now on nor Raul nor Emile, let them suck a little but try to be nicer
Ah so the rewritten ending is that the sun and rain knights don’t lose their powers, but combine to create a new power of rainbow? Also mlm on screen kiss but it’s not between real characters. Fair enough, I don’t think this is an appropriate time for a marcnath kiss
There’s something to be said about how wlw relationships are seen as less threatening than mlm in media like girls kissing can be brushed off as cutesy but boys kissing is seen as a weird kink thing, like how the dad was saying mlm romance isn’t deep and sentimental unlike straight romance. In TV-Y7 cartoons in general there have been a good handful of iconic canon wlw moments, but I can’t think of any mlm equivalents other than minor side characters that barely do anything or like, older men who are also background characters and have no romantic subplot because they’re long time partners. In this show they’ve created an in-universe justification for why Marc and Nath are less open about their relationship, but they still continue to be censored far more heavily than Julerose, Zoe, or Caline and Giselle.
Shoes on the BED broooo if Sublime can have four different hairstyles in one episode they can make the characters take their shoes off okay
I love the physics on Marc’s dangly earring
Let’s talk about rampant homophobia and hate crimes but use nerdy fantasy metaphors for plausible deniability
Awwwww they’re so cute
YOOO Marc’s disguised miraculous has a cutout design in it like the one in a calligraphy pen that’s cool
REVEAL Nath was gonna be bisexual but not eat hot chip nor lie. This will soooo come back later. When Nino did it, it didn’t exactly have humongous consequences? I mean kind of but not in any way that endangered him nor Alya. That’s what I was saying earlier that Nino and Nath value their relationships more than being a hero. The trouble here is that Lila is being really ominous about Nath, he has a track record of impulsively doing bad things, and he’s recklessly transformed a couple times in this ep alone, so this is… concerning but also cute? And since the comic represents them, instead of giving up their powers after a reveal they’re gonna combine them and make them stronger?
People have been saying there’s gonna be a Myvan one too because of the intro and yeah I agree. Probably even more, like I can’t imagine Luka and Juleka can hide it for long. Marinette will realize that nobody thinks lying to their friends and partners is sustainable. She values being a hero over her relationship because she feels responsible for everything. Like she can’t just quit her job and get replaced at this point, she needs to protect the whole city/world and to her, that’s bigger than her personal life.
Interesting that they’re obscuring Marc’s transformation. Does that suggest his episode is after this? It’s not like it’s a spoiler, we already know what he looks like. Dramatic effect ig. Marc was generally very mature throughout this ep tho, and he jumped into the fight to protect Nath, so idk maybe it came first
Lila already knows who most of the heroes are, but not them. There’s a good chance she will find out and use it against them in the endgame. She does know about Alya and Nino. I predicted after Daddycop that Sabrina might fly under her radar the longest and be key in tricking her a second time.
Important edit: I just noticed the spiderverse-esque comic book effects in his transformation sequence, that’s actually sick. It’s so blink and you’ll miss it and by god I missed it the first time. Nathaniel Kuntzerve or whatever his name is. The goat, like literally
Unimportant edit: it finally hit me who Nath’s dad reminded me of and why he felt so familiar. It’s goddamn Tighten from Megamind. “There is no audience for your comic book, there is no tooth fairy, and there is no Queen of England”.
Wow that took me so long to write in actually almost glad there’s a hiatus now! (Not actually I’m joking) :((( it’s ok tho. Gay people in my phone
#miraculous ladybug#ml#ml spoilers#the ruler#nathaniel kurtzberg#marc anciel#marinette dupain cheng#adrien agreste#lila rossi#sabrina raincomprix#that’s enough tags for today I’m tired#I fear I ate that room analysis and the parallel it has to the Gabriel Agreste episode#that shit made my stomach drop a little when I noticed it
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The RK series and deviancy (theory + analysis)
I have been wanting to talk about this for some time, because it's kinda one of the biggest DBH mysteries (aside from rA9) and I think there are many many hints in the game about why deviancy came to be and how. And I've had this theory that deviancy was something that started with the RK series, specifically with Markus, so I'm gonna use the hints I've found in the game to expain why I believe this. I also gotta note I'm really new to the fandom, so maybe this is has already been talked about thousands of times before (maybe even debunked), but that's a risk I'm willing to take.
First and foremost, I will start with something that I talked about in another post - namely the significance of the number 28. You can see Adam Williams talk about it here (at 1:04:28), too.
Basically, the number 28 is used in many places throughout the game, and according to Adam, if players found all references to that number, they will understand what the significance of that number is.
And speaking of 28, I noticed that 2028 is the year when Kamski left Cyberlife, but not before creating the Zen Garden and Amanda.
There is a whole series of questions Connor can confront Amanda with during "Last Chance, Connor" (which is the 28th chapter with a flowchart. Maybe cuz he is asking important questions here, just saying).
Connor: Why did Kamski leave CyberLife? What happened? Amanda: It’s an old story, Connor. It doesn’t pertain to your investigation.
Connor: I saw a photo of Amanda at Kamski’s place… She was his teacher… Amanda: When Kamski designed me, he wanted an interface that would look familiar… That’s why he chose his former mentor. What are you getting at?
Connor: Did Kamski design this place? Amanda: He created the first version. It’s been improved significantly since then. Why do you ask?
Amanda Stern died in 2027, which suggests that AI Amanda and the Zen Garden were both created after this and before Kamski's departure from Cyberlife in 2028. Yet somehow, this information is classified to some extent - Amanda doesn't deny, but she gets defensive and doesn't want to elaborate any further. Of course, she might be acting this way because Connor is slowly getting too defiant, but still, it's kinda striking how the player has the option to ask so many questions - questions that seem to unsettle Connor a lot for a reason that is not explicitly explained, yet doesn't get a clear answer.
It awakens the impression that Connor is truly getting at something with them, but it's not said at what exactly.
Connor: I’m not a unique model, am I? How many Connors are there? Amanda: I don’t see how that question pertains to your investigation.
Connor: Where does CyberLife stand in all this? What do they really want? Amanda: All CyberLife wants is to resolve the situation and keep selling androids.
Connor: You didn’t tell me everything you know about deviants, did you? Amanda: I expect you to find answers, Connor. Not ask questions.
Now, Connor asks how many "Connors" (meaning RKs) are there after seeing that Markus is an RK-model one, too. That's news to Connor - for some reason, he's never been informed about the existence of any other RKs. But why?
Well, because the RK-line was a secret project, and apprently, there are no other RK androids left aside from Markus - if there were, Connor would know of their existence, cuz they would be roaming around. What does the game say about Markus?
Markus is a prototype, gifted by Elijah Kamski to his friend and celebrated painter Carl Manfred after Manfred lost the use of his legs. He was initially developed as part of a CyberLife secret program aimed at elaborating a new generation of autonomous androids.
That last sentence, about the new generation of autonomous androids, arises one question. How are these highly autonomous androids, like Connor, controlled, considering that they are supposed to be independent and not wait around for highly specific orders? Well, through the Zen Garden and Amanda - both of which were created sometime between 2027 and 2028. And if Markus was oridinally supposed to be part of that line (that basically got put on hold for 10 years), that places his creation around 2028 as well.
In 2028, Elijah Kamski was our Man of the Century. [...] Shortly after, Kamski had disappeared. Ousted as CEO of CyberLife and living in obscurity outside the media glare, the Man of the Century has left the very world that he recreated. [...] Yet at the peak of CyberLife’s powers – when the company was approaching a $500bn valuation – rumors emerged that Kamski disagreed with his shareholders over strategy. He later departed under mysterious circumstances.
So, he was "outsted" and he likely disagreed with his shareholders. But what do these shareholders want?
Russia’s interest in the North Pole has intensified with the recent discovery of precious minerals trapped in the frozen ice, many of which are used in synthesizing Thirium. [...] President Warren, however, recently torpedoed the notion: “It’s simple. Russia has no business in the Arctic. If the Kremlin doesn’t understand that, we will make them understand.[...] Mired in accusations that she is too close to big business, Warren is under investigation to determine whether or not she has benefited from CyberLife's help in obtaining compromising information about her opponent during the presidential campaign.[...]
If we read the magazines, we kinda get an impression of what the shareholders want - they want war with Russia over the minerals in the Arctic, and they wanna monologise the android market globally. This is further proven by their finalized RK-model being a military android, of whom the government has puchased hundreds of thousands (All CyberLife wants is to resolve the situation and keep selling androids). The government - whose President is said to be corrupt and basically installed at her position by Cyberlife themselves.
Naturally, we can assume that this was not the direction Kamski wanted his RK-series to take - he likely disagreed with this enough to be removed from his position as a CEO, because Cyberlife only saw their futures as secured if they prevented anyone else from being able to create thirium, even it meant starting a world war.
So, is it a coincidence that the only existing RK android who was created by Kamski's original design ended up with Carl Manfred - a friend of Kamski's? I think it's safe to assume that Markus would have been decomissioned long time ago (just like Connor if the deviants lose), had he not ended up far away from Cyberlife's reach.
I think Kamski definitely removed the Zen Garden from Markus, to prevent Cyberlife from ever trying to take over. It's also likely that they generally lost track of Markus, because he was no longer interesting to them.
But what if Kamski not only saved Markus from being destroyed, what if he himself created the "virus" that causes deviancy?
Kamski: All ideas are viruses that spread like epidemics... Is the desire to be free a contagious disease? Kamski: Androids share identification data when they meet another android. An error in this program would quickly spread like a virus, and become an epidemic. The virus would remain dormant, until an emotional shock occurs… Fear, anger, frustration. And the android becomes deviant. Probably all started with one model, copy error… A zero instead of a one… Unless of course... Some kind of spontaneous mutation. That’s all I know…
If meeting another android is enough to "infect" them, then Markus could have been innocently walking around the city and infecting androids for 10 years. He could have also "infected" the androids at Cyberlife before Kamski sent him to Carl, because for all we know, Kamski really just wanted to create truly autonomous and conscious androids. We know the first known case of deviancy happened approximately in 2032, while Kara was being assembled - that would be only 4 years after Markus' assumed activation.
And no, Markus wouldn't need to be a deviant for this - he is simply the carrier, just like it happens with human viruses.
And do you know what also makes me think Kamski purposely created deviancy?
Kamski: By the way… I always leave an emergency exit in my programs… You never know…
Why would he leave an exit in the Zen Garden that is only detectable by the android but not by Amanda (seemingly) if he doesn't want the androids to be able to escape the controll of their owner? And why would he call humans and deviants "two evils" and pretend to be so neutral on the whole thing, but still give Connor a way to save himself and escape Cyberlife in case he became a deviant?
Because he isn't on Cyberlife's side. He is fascinated by androids, he likes them better than humans, and is also likely obsessed with the idea of having created a new species that is superiour to their creators. It's also quite likely that one of the Chloes is a deviant, too, and he is fully aware of it, but doesn't seem eager to turn her in.
This post is ignoring the deleted Kamski ending, but even so, Kamski paints a rather clear picture to me, and I'm also fully convinced that he didn't gift Markus to Carl because of goodness alone.
A sidenote, but: how sinister would it be to send Connor on a mission to kill Markus? Connor, who is based on Markus, the only other alive RK model, after boosting him with an extra anti-deviancy variable and 2 additional red walls and brainwashing him against what has likely been a part of his program since his very activation?
#detroit become human#dbh#dbh connor#dbh markus#my meta#i admit i really talked A LOT here#markus the trojan horse#my ramblings
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Can confirm I've been on here for years now and before Gamer Gate and then the rebirth of Terfism happened the widely accepted feminist talking point was that men suffer under the patriarchy and how we need to talk about that because one of the fastest ways to get cis men on our side was to show them we were already on their side!
I remeber posts with hundreds of thousands of notes talking about how men are assumed to be worse caregivers than women to the point that in custody battles even if the mother is beyond a shadow of a doubt the worst abusive mess ever and the dad is the embodiment of a perfect parent the kids will end up with the mom. It doesn't even matter if the dad says he wants the kids and the mom says she doesn't, the women still gets assumed to be the better caretaker!! This is misogyny effecting men!!
And I know MRAs are terrible but I remember a video going around talking about their recruitment points, like how more men die doing dangerous jobs and the draft or men getting no help when they've been abused by women and being assumed to be violent predators even when they haven't done anything and like yeah, they 100% came to the wrong conclusions about what causes the problems and what the solutions are bcs it's easier to act like women are the problem, but those problems as they were introduced in the early 2010s were actual problems feminism is trying to address, and if these men could see that we are fighting the same fights and join US we'd be stronger. There was a prominent internet feminist who got full on red pilled just by listening to men tell her about their real actual problems, and the time they pulled the rug out on blaming women it was too late, she was convinced, because yeah women aren't the real problem at the root of men's issues they do HAVE ISSUES. The trick is that they just need to tackle the patriarchy, not women. I also saw stuff that legit talked about how to recruit men by pointing out how badly the patriarchy "serves" them!! (GamerGate quickly ruined any and all salient points that existed in the MRA movement bcs the internet is a feedback loop and anger is easy/fun sadly but yeah I feel like it's weird to act like they were always wrong no matter what when they at least did point out real problems.)
And like RBG partially made her name in the courts defending a CIS MAN on the basis that he was being discriminated in a way a CIS WOMAN would not have been, and the ruling allowed for insane amounts of progress for women. A man not being allowed a tax credit to hire a nurse for his bedridden mother is one of the first things that challenged discrimination on the basis of sex in America. But sure men ONLY gain benefits from the patriarchy. It NEVER hurts them too!! And helping them won't benefit us!!! Making them our allies is silly they should all shut up 🙄
Hell back in the 2010s I still remember seeing trans men talk about how horrible and alienating it was for all of their female friends and family to suddenly start acting like they were a threat, and not just pointing out the inherent transphobia, the guy went on to talk about that they finally get why cis men are the way they are, they suffer from systemic emotional neglect. And yeah that obviously does not mean women owe them emotional avaliablity and sex, but maybe the patriarchy telling men to be big tuff guys who never hug or cry or like anything even a little girly HURTS THEM and is a direct cause of a LOT of the problems we're dealing with rn!!! There was a whole study about how widows tend to live a lot longer after their husbands because they have friends and family to lean on and weren't taught to suppress their emotions, meanwhile widowers tend to die VERY quickly after their wives because they no longer have someone who it's okay for them to be open and emotional around, and not having someone you can do that with KILLS PEOPLE. People were saying again, this does not mean women HAVE to take on all their problems, but maybe that we need to stop assuming men don't need emotional support and teach our sons to not be afraid of being ulnerable, honest people because systemic emotional neglect IS BAD FOR YOU ACTUALLY.
These were ACTUAL conversations that swept this damn site. This was the direction feminism was going in. We were on the cusp of a beautiful age of 4th wave feminism with the knowledge that the patriarchy seves no one well and free the nipple and no gender segregated bathrooms and sports, and now just pointing out that we need to maybe understand the ways men struggle under the patriarchy if we've ever going to have them join and help us build a better world gets my inbox flooded with both terfs and so called progressive feminists calling me a gender traitor for being willing to admit men arent the source of all the world's ills and WE NEED THEM ON OUR FUCKING SIDE. I used to proudly call myself a 4th wave feminist back when people still claimed to be of the 3rd, and now idk what I even am. A bell hooks and leslie finberg feminist I guess, since they actually seemed to get it.
Yeesh. Anyway sorry that got heated. This has just ruined my brain. I do not understand where tf we went wrong, bcs hell back in the day we also pointed out how TERFs were wrong to want men and people they perceive as men and those "tainted" by men put to death for existing so they could build their stupid white supremacist wombyn utopia. We KNEW hating men just for being men was wrong and regressive and hurt maringalized men and did NOTHONG to push feminism forward. We talked about the issues that men face and how to raise our sons to be better. But idk I guess Gamer Gate and the Incel movement took off right as TREFs figured out the whole ace and truscum discourse thing wasn't working and they just needed to doctor their arguments against men better and radical feminism took off and this entire site regressed 1000 years and thinks trans men of all people are just as bad as cis men and trans women have a monopoly on an entire axis of oppression like?????
And I'm not putting the blame squarely on anyone aside from the radfems who started this shit but it does NOT surprise me that we are seeing a massive resurgence of biphobic, transmedicalism, and aphobia since half the queer discourse I see these days is anti-transandrophpbia assholes just word for word repeating the kind of blatant aphobia and truscumery that would have gotten you suplexed off the face of the earth in the 2010s with the identities swapped. Just word for word monosexist aphobic shit. Legit is giving me flashbacks, it's insane.
I have never in my life been more disappointed in my community of queer feminists. This is masks all over again. Like is this how kids who grew up evangelical feel when they realized actually the adults didn't mean literally love all your neighbors silly just the Correct ones?? I feel like I'm in the twilight zone. What the hell happened to us.
Thank you for writing all this anon, you put enough work in it I'm gonna toss it in the tags, I think it deserves to be seen. <3
The problem with MRAs was never that they believed men had problems too, but that they used certain things - like their disadvantage in custody hearings, for instance - as a cudgel in a malicious crusade against a target they hated anyway for not fucking them. Now with as quick as people are to say things like "what, are you saying androphobia exists too?????" it feels as though we've completely forgotten the actual reason we ever hated MRAs to begin with.
It's the same with the dating article where the most basic possible interactions between two adults mutually seeking a hook-up were taken to be pick-up artistry.
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