#i just feel like you personally would enjoy this screencap lol

[suddenrundown]

[snacksizedgates]

Proof Mike Picked Up on What Will Was Saying in the Van Scene from the Very Beginning.

This is a pretty long post but there are some really interesting things I noticed while finally properly analyzing this scene. I breakdown all of Mike's facial reactions and even other visual clues in this scene that points toward Byler. Hope you enjoy!

Here's screencaps of when Will asks Mike if he can show him "something." He keeps glancing up and down between Will's face and the poster, indicating nervousness/curiosity. He does this because he recognizes the poster from the airport. He also knows Will was painting something and El heavily implied it's for someone he likes.

They didn't just throw these two scenes/lines in the season for no reason. They put them in there to set a precedent that Mike knows about the existence of this painting, not just through El but also by physically seeing it. This establishes that he knows what this painting is and what type of person it's for (a crush).

His reaction to the painting. He's happy as indicated by the open mouth smile instead of the more flirtatious close mouth smile. He's genuinely happy that Will made him this, because at this point that is what he's assuming. He believes what El said (the truth), so at this point he's thinking "he painted this whole painting for ME."

Then this scene. He definitely knows Will's lying. As soon as he starts saying it was El's idea, Mike get's confused and looks back down at the painting. Kind of like "there's no way he's telling the truth cus the math just dont add up." When he looks back up, his lips are pursed, in a disapproving way. He knows Will is lying to him. And then he looks back down to reexamine the painting again. He's perplexed.

Not only that but this part is seen through the perspective of Jonathan, who definitely knows Will is lying. So when they flip to Jonathan's POV we can assume whatever Will's saying, is understood by both Jonathan and Mike, because they're the only one's on screen beside Will and they're both intently listening to him. (by on screen I mean Jonathan was just previously on screen intently listening to Will, creating a comparison between Jonathan and Mike, that essentially they are the same in this scene. Quiet but intently listening and having at least an inkling of the truth) Plus we already established other reasons why Mike knows. So this shot just emphasizes that point even more.

So now, since Mike understands the El commission thing is a lie, and that this painting was made for him by Will, he can reasonably presume that other things Will is about to say are lies or taken out of context. He can assume when Will refers to El, he's referring to himself, because Will has already set that precedent and Mike picked up on it.

Now, since he knows Will is lying, he gets nervous. Will starts talking about heart and pointing to it drawn on Mike's armor and that's when Mike get's excited. At first he's gazing down at it with a happy and inviting facial expression . Then it cuts to Mike looking at Will explaining how "we'd" all fall apart without (mikes) heart and Mike literally takes a huge deep breath. You can kind of see it in the screencaps, but I would suggest just rewatching the scene after finishing the thread with everything I point out in your mind.

Anyway, his chest rises and his throat gulps. Nervous. His demeanor slowly changes from lighthearted and happy (when Will gives him the painting and he can easily assume its for him from Will and nothing else) to a more hardened, serious expression (when he realizes Will doesn't feel comfortable enough to say it's from him, he's lying to him and he realizes the implications that creates.)

He's overwhelmed with feeling in this whole entire scene, just like Will is. Except Will has better access to his emotions than Mike who represses his. So that's why he's so quiet/stunned and doesn't say anything. Not because he's clueless but because he has TOO MANY clues. Lol.

This is right after Will finishes talking about heart and for the first time since Mike understood he was lying under the guise of El, he references El. He says "Even El (needs your heart) Especially El." Mikes reaction is pictured above. His face changes from overwhelmed/nervous to a serious expression. Almost confusion but more like an epiphany, like he's thinking. When Will mentions El again, he immediately looks back down at the painting. Like he can't understand how what is being explained to him is true. Look at the eyes. In the previous pictures, his eyes are just ever so slightly squinted which gives off an inviting, warm expression. In the pictures above, his mouth closes and his eyes "harden." He's looking back down at the painting realizing that Will has feelings for him. He put a damn heart on Mike and only Mike. That's why he's looking at it seriously and intently.

Because either he realizes that wow, my internal feelings were being reciprocated this whole time and I didn't notice or he's just beginning to understand that Will is gay and likes him.

However, Will is basically telling Mike I Need You, something Mike always wants to hear, and it's throwing him over board with feelings, so I honestly think this scene is more about reciprocation. Mike's too mixed emotions for me to believe he's not having gay panic inside.

Now either he didn't think Will had feelings for him or he didn't think they were that strong. But this scene is essentially a wake up call for Mike.

Now in the top two screenshots, it's from Jonathan's perspective again. And once again, he's referencing El by using the pronoun "she" to describe his experience not hers. That's why it goes to Jonathans POV because Jonathan knows his secret (so he knows his lie) and it only goes there when he starts referencing El. Happening more than once indicates meaning to the shot, and that meaning is Mike knowing Will is calling himself different not El. And then he switches to "you" pronouns to make it more vague, but at least it's not lying. And it switches right back to regular audience POV - so he's being truthful now and Mike can discern between the two. Not to mention, Will has his faced turned away, indicating whatever he's saying now is emotional for him, and then he turns back around with slight tears in his eyes. Most people would pick this up in a best friend so it's safe to assume Mike does too. Also Mike's completely focused on what Will is saying, so it's very important to him. He's not even slightly smiling, he has a completely serious look on his face meaning he's really taking in what Will is saying and he knows the implications of everything Will is saying is serious.

This shot pretty much sums it up like lets be real. Will basically apologizes for being a douche/being distant (even though he never was, Mike was) and Mike looks guilty because he feels bad for doing this exact thing to Will in the beginning of the season. He realizes how similar they actually feel. And he starts smiling/heart eyes in the last frame because 1) Will's apologizing to him when he doesn't even need to making him so selfless 2) his feelings are being reciprocated. Notice "seemed like she was pushing you away" Mike now knows Will wasn't intentionally pushing him away and that also makes him smile. He breaks his serious expression once Will admits he wasn't intentionally creating distance between them, meaning this is something Mike cared or thought about. This is the first time he breaks his serious expression since Will started explaining the heart metaphor, which initially caused Mike to be nervous.

Not to mention if he didn't know before this, then he definitely knows at this point. Many people have pointed it out but let me reiterate it: El never acted distant towards Mike, until the end of season 4. In fact she was heavily concerned with Mike most of the time, wanting HIM to be less distant, so it's quite the opposite. This means he 100% knows Will is talking about himself.

They don't pull away to Jonathan's POV even though he's talking as if he were El here because 1) they want the close up reaction from Mike, meaning its IMPORTANT and 2) Mike isn't thinking about why Will is using El as a cover anymore. Jonathan may be but we've already seen his POV for the last time, so at this point that fact that he was lying about certain things has been understood and moved past by Mike, as conveyed by the different shots. He doesn't care at this point because he's too engrossed in what Will is saying. He isn't thinking in Jonathan's POV anymore that "Will is lying" because he realizes Will's being more honest than he ever has in the entire series. Jonathan stills cares about Will lying, and we know that from the last shot in this scene being Jonathan panning out of the frame looking slightly upset. But they didn't go back to the mirror POV to indicate Jonathan was worried about Will - meaning there was a specific reason they were using the POV shot (to indicate Mike knows Will was lying just like Jonathan).

This is right after Will saying the bandaid line. Mike gulps and breathes heavy. Since Will is in this scene and we've established Mike knows Will is talking about himself and that he reciprocates the same feeling, he gulps because he thinks about losing Will too. He remembers losing Will. He doesn't want to lose will.

Then we have the "El needs you Mike. She'll always need you" with Will's tears about to pour down his face. And I know I sound like a broke record, but Mike knows he means "I need you mike. I'll always need you."

Then the "Yeah" "Yeah" which mirrors saying I love you to someone because you typically repeat it back to each other. You can't compare it to hello, or goodbye, or good day because it doesn't fit in the context. So what other comparison is there? Not only that but they also say it in different tones. Mike says it in a slightly questioning way, like he's needs reassurance that its true. He still doesn't believe it fully. But also with a smile indicating he's happy with this. That Will (the protected) is never going anywhere because he'll always need Mike (the protector). He's smiling because of this. Once Will reassures him, Mike's face soften with adoration for him. There's no other way to describe his face than adoration. He also glances back and forth at Will which I think indicates nervousness, uncertainty, awkwardness. Regardless it indicates Mike is feeling a lot in that moment.

Will, on the other hand, says it with finality, like end of discussion it will never change. It mirrors their relationship dynamic because Will knows he's never going to not need Mike in his life but Mike doesn't know that... Until now. We assume he does know things like this because to us, the audience, it's obvious but Mike doesn't see Will the way we see Will. It also goes back to the connection between Will and El (read my theory about that here if you're interested). They mirror each other. And just a few minutes ago he was talking about how scared he is of El not needing him. Their scenes are so byler coded this season if you really look into them. Lowkey has me thinking this is the most byler-y season lol.

And really quickly back to Heart Eyes Mike Wheeler - he's smiling yet he doesn't say anything else. He returns his focus to the painting and stays quiet. This is very atypical of Mike who also usually has something to say.

This is because he just realized his feelings are reciprocated and he's overwhelmed with Will liking him back. He's literally holding his feelings in this whole scene between the deep breathes and serious faces and slightly opened mouths.

And lastly we have the crying scene. People say Mike just ignores Will and goes back to looking for El but that's not at all what happened here. Look deeper.

Before I analyze the actual actions in the scene I first want to point out how this shot references Will's Boys Don't Cry poster, because it's very important and is more queer coding for Mike. Basically, boys crying = accepting of their feelings, boys dont cry = repressing their feelings, toxic masculinity etc. So while Will is accepting his feelings and having less shame about them, Mike is repressing his. Or at least has been. That's why he's rigid. He's not moving and only just glances at Will. He's feeling a lot too. Furthermore, the poster is yellow and blue, with blue in the bg and yellow in the fg, along with a pyramid in the sunny desert with three trees. Mike in the bg with a blue shirt, Will in the fg with a yellow shirt. The pyramid represents the Love Triangle between Byler and Mileven and the three trees represent each one of them. They're also in a sunny desert and majority of that time they're by themselves until they find El. After that, they're in a nightime desert along with El and we don't get to see them in the sunny desert again I believe (don't quote me on this). Mike went from being in the light with Mike to being in the dark with the both of them. The visual references are actually insane once you start looking into them. A lot of thought was put behind this.

But let's get to analyzing the actual scene.

Firstly, he's staring down at the painting.. They never moved it off his lap so he's literally in silence, kind of stunned just looking at Will's painting. All he said was "You painted this? It's amazing" and "Yeah?" the entire conversation. He barely had a response. To me that indicates nervousness/being overwhelmed. To Will this probably indicates his feelings aren't reciprocated :(

Secondly, he glanced at Will for a second. This doesn't show he's "ignoring" him; if anything the opposite. He most likely heard him sobbing quietly and was checking on him because he cares about him. He can't resist taking a glance at Will. But he knows how Will is, and the fact that they're not alone, so he just lets Will cry quietly.

Thirdly, he's most likely dealing with his own feelings in this scene internally. Mike and Will are queercoded very differently (as I have mentioned in my other posts). Mike represses, ignores his feelings, hence why he is shown just staring at the painting in silence not moving. Will accepts his feelings but letting them out both relieves and upsets him. It's overwhelming but he had to finally say it.

So, imo, Mike's glance at Will wasn't judging or ignoring, he looked over and saw exactly how he wanted to react but couldn't because he's still scared of the repercussions of being gay/dating Will. As seen by the his heavy breathes and mixed facial expressions.

Lastly, why would any of Mike's behavior be appropriate if he thought Will was talking about El by the end? It wouldn't. How would any of Will's behavior be appropriate if he were really talking about El? It wouldn't. There's no need to cry over someone else's relationship and Mike knows this. He saw Will with tears in his eyes and then breakdown. Those have PERSONAL implications. If he thought Will were really talking about El, it would've been a discussion not a Will speech. He would've chimed in like "yeah but I don't know if I actually believe she needs me" "im nothing in comparison to her" or SOMETHING because this is typically what people do when they're being praised, especially someone with low self esteem.

So the fact that Mike lets Will ramble about "El's" feelings completely uninterrupted, with comments that are praising him, is sus on it's own.

The fact of the matter is he recognizes that Will is way too emotionally attached to what he's saying.

And that's the end. This is soooooo much longer than I thought it was going to be. Mike Wheeler is definitely gay. And no one can tell me otherwise.

[fluffytheocelot]

Okay, I saw your screencap redraw, and as someone else who's *obsessed* with Carmen's parents, I had to take you up on that offer. So, consider this ask license to infodump your thoughts on them! :)

AGH ok so-

Carmen's parents have a LOT of potential narrative-wise, and I really hope one day we'll see more of them in canon. (Maybe comics like the showrunner talked about before?)

Like how in the world did they meet??? Cause idk i feel like Carlotta disappeared way too easily to have just been a civilian. I think she was a thief too, not VILE, she only steals when she needs to, for one reason or another.

this is getting long oops- under the cut!

I think they happened to be going after the same thing, at the same time, and hoo boy do they not get along lol. Turns out Carlotta (telling Dexter her name is Vera Cruz. He does not believe her) had agreed to steal the whatever-it-is in exchange for an under-the-radar trip somewhere else.

They make a deal: Dexter gets her there, and he gets to keep the prize. Yay, roadtrip!

Cue rivals-to-friends-to-lovers speedrun lmao

Some time passes after that (during which they continue to see each other) and many months later they discover oops they made a Carmen

Dexter begins making his much longer trips away from VILE (wanting to support his partner with their unborn kid as much as he can) and starts the process of leaving. When Carmen is born, his trips away get longer and VILE finally catches wind of what's happening, and you know the rest.

AHH ok headcanons about each:

Dexter

definitely shares a lot of personality traits with Carmen. Even just from what we saw during Shadowsan's flashback, they are so so similar :( The two combined chaos energies probably would've driven Carlotta up a wall lmao

woulda been a fantastic girl dad. this man would have sat thru tea parties and played barbies with little Carmen and LOVED IT

dad jokes. that is all.

probably also a very high energy/troublemaking kid, like Carmen

Seriously I picture him and Carmen being super close if he'd survived.

idk i think it'd be funny that this master thief that is 1/5th of the leadership of a massive and ancient crime organization is an absolute dorky dad lmao

bi

was gonna ask Carlotta to marry him after he escaped. but. well.. yk.

Was gonna pick Shadowsan to take his place on the faculty anyway

knows guitar, and probably would've taught carmen how to as well.

is it a universal dad thing to enjoy Jimmy Buffet music or is that just my dad??? Idk either way he vibes. Carlotta has a video of him softly strumming a guitar with baby Carmen in his lap and singing "Little Miss Magic" to her ;-;

also enjoys AC/DC, Black Sabbath, Guns n Roses, all that kinda stuff. Probably projecting my own dad a bit but oh well

As much as he'd hate he couldn't be there for Carmen when she was growing up, I think he'd be glad she at least had Shadowsan looking out for her :)

He would be so proud of everything Carmen has done and accomplished ;-;

Carlotta

its probably been said before, but Carlotta definitely started up the orphanage in Buenos Aires hoping Carmen would end up in it at some point.

Carmen inherited thief skills from both parents idc. Carlotta definitely gave Dexter a run for his money lol

looks a lot like carmen, but with green eyes instead of gray, and more brown hair than Carmen's red/auburn.

also the parent carmen got her freckles from (BC Carmen had em when she was little, and she spent a lot of time out in the sun!! I will die on the Carmen having faint freckles hill dangit!)

also bi. idk these two give bi4bi vibes.

more likely to get into a fistfight out of the two of them ("Carlotta, no!" "Carlotta YES" *cut to Dexter desperately trying to hold her back* "CARLOTTA PLEASE WE'RE TRYING NOT TO GET CAUGHT")

Upon reuniting with and getting to know Carmen, she's very much reminded of Dexter. She'd be all too happy to tell her stories of Dexter.

definitely also has a bit of a mischief streak too.

absolutely did NOT put up with Dexter's nonsense at first lol

was initially terrified of what Dexter would think when she told him they were gonna be parents, but was quickly reassured when the next time Dexter came back from VILE he had armloads of baby stuff from around the world.

Probably has a big extended family but after Dexter's death and Carmen disappears, she gets distant with them. After reuniting with Carmen though, accidentally runs into a family member with her and they're like "wait is that her?? She's alive??" and just like that Carmen has managed to acquire ANOTHER family lol.

Absolutely thrilled to learn Carmen wasn't alone all those years and immediately just adopts Zack, Ivy, and Player lol

Probably a little hesitant about Shadowsan at first, given that he was supposed to assassinate Dexter and did actually take her daughter to VILE, but eventually they're chill and he tells her stories of Black Sheep's antics. Meanwhile Carmen is in the background begging him not to lol.

I think once she got over her distrust of Shadowsan and got to know him, and sees how close he and Carmen are, she'd be glad that he was there for Carmen when Dexter couldn't be.

ARGHSH I have plans for them in many AUs lol. I'll get around to actually enacting em someday XD

[hashtagloveloses]

hey there klaudia. I have one of those questions that's sort of googleable but also sort of hard to google because really I just want someone's opinion, and as I did get your anti-doomscroller emails, and vaguely recall you did/do some sort of media or journalism thing, and I've been following you since idk the dawn of time or 2016, somewhere in there, so you're sort of someone I know, I thought I'd ask you. Anyway. I do not read the news. I need this to change. I know I should read (not watch, I simply cannot) the news regularly. Specifically for my life I need to know about international politics, wars and the threat thereof and such, but knowing about US domestic stuff is also good. And I need to not get my information from destiel screencaps/my mother worriedly explaining her Fox News misinformation to me. genuinely somehow I am an adult now and I don't know where to do this. I used to get the NYT daily email for a few years but idk I've heard so much against the NYT now I'm not sure I can go subscribe to them. is there any chance you've got a source to recommend? a newspaper or journal? I just get so hung up on where to get my information I can't even start. I know that in theory I would read critically and can compare whatever it is I do read regularly against other sources. But it's just hard to find a starting point so. anyway if you have one I'd appreciate it. If not no worries, as I said this should be googleable I'm just overwhelmed. you just seem like a good person to ask but for all I know I'm way off base there lol, sorry I've followed you a long time but I know like two facts about you, you're just a cool and consistent feature of my dash to me.

whew this is a complicated question but you're going in the right direction (not watching televised news and staying the FUCK away from the NYT are a good start). my best advice, is to get to know local papers/magazines near you. they may be owned by a larger corporate parent (hence the dwindling of alt weeklies and independent sources), but if you follow them on each of your preferred social media (or if they have a newsletter, or an RSS feed or apple news or something you can do that too), they should cover both aggregated world/national news and local news. also look at your local public radio station - public radio, like the entire nonprofit industrial complex, has its own issues as well, but it's another good place to start.

the other best place to start is the library. your library should have electronic resources (aka access to press reader apps and such) that allow you to look at the latest articles and magazine editions, etc for free. you can get a feel for what news sources you like and don't like that way. any library system usually has a large selection, both electronically, and in person (and a lot of them subscribe to the same apps).

the way to make this sustainable is that as you browse, if there are articles (or if its radio, reported stories) that you particularly enjoy, IE: they were rigorous and thorough, had credible sources, did good service journalism, etc, find that journalist/producer and follow their social media. most journalists, regrettably, are on twitter, some have 0 social media presence, and many have their own newsletters. since journalism is a sketchy industry rn, following the reporters and producers themselves is a good way to keep trusted professionals in your feeds rather than the news brands that exploit them.

another thing to keep in mind - make sure you aren't just consuming US news sources. yes, it is harder to know what is credible for cultures that are not your own, but US-based (and in general Western based) large news sources really do not cover international shit well unless there are reporters with very specific beats (and even then they may come with their own cultural issues). there are also a lot of major news sources that just aggregate from the newswires (the AP, Reuters, etc), and sometimes I don't love them either. be vigilant when looking for international news.

all this being said, don't stress yourself out over this. it took a career in journalism (that i'm now thankfully out of), too much time on twitter, a degree in political communication, and lots and LOTS of unlearning for me to find sources I trust and build feeds. but even now it can be hard. and no, this is not easily google-able on purpose, bc google is now just made of who has the most money to pay them for ads and an expert in SEO to get higher ranking.

my biggest advice is to build SKILLS for yourself. learn to recognize biases that major outlets might have (if a news source just wholesale quotes cops or "authorities" only, if they scaremonger about China, if they have an opinion section full of questionable takes for clicks). learn to spot clickbait and rage bait, question how data is presented, etc.

also while i do think supporting independent journalism is good, major outlets like the NYT or corporate owned shit do not need your help, despite all the pleas they put on their websites. get an adblocker (on desktop, ublock origin, on mobile iOS the free versions of Disconnect's apps are great - if a website on either isnt working properly just turn it off and refresh, then turn it back on), because the ads in news articles are ATROCIOUS. get a paywall bypass extension (i use Bypass Paywalls Clean which has versions for every browser, and on iOS i use this shortcut), because you should never have to even make a free account and give these fuckers your email either.

i hope this helps at all!!!!

[dutyworn]

Wren full playthrough part 1.

General disclaimer: This is not meant to be a 1:1 to my roleplay portrayal, even if it can be used as a reference for choices and just as a general "people can watch this if they are interested/wanna know Wren/the game more" fun thing. In gameplay, I tend to exhaust dialogue options; for a lot of asking questions, Wren actually would already be aware of the answers so sometimes it's more about wanting to show the dialogue (for people not familiar with the game) and gaining XP, other times (mostly when conversing with people about their personal experiences) she asks about things she is aware of because she wants the story from the person themselves, and to show care. Also, gaming dynamics obviously have their limits. I record everything. I edit out reduntant getting lost on the map (happens a lot more you'd expect), repeat dialogue, and/or speed through leveling up, modding equipment, etc. If I am reading something while playing, I keep the text in my edits for long enough for me to be able to read (I'm a slow reader). Stuff less relevant to the story, such as planet descriptions, I keep in the video but only very briefly so that the information is there and readable if the video is paused. I mainly record for my own reference/screencapping etc. purposes. That's why there also are no subtitles, though I will record clips I specifically want to share with subtitles on. You may use my videos freely for anything you wish, such as screencapping your muse if you play someone from the games etc. I play with a galore of mods! Here's my list of mods I currently use in this playthrough for the first game. I always include timestamps if you want to watch, but want to skip some parts.

OKK LOL, I will normally place all that under a readmore for future uploads but I needed to word it.

General notes for this video: I keep opening the journal (mission/quest menu) every time I see it update to read/let viewers read. I stopped doing this at some point in the future because I feel it breaks immersion and is reduntant. I also am not speeding through squad screen and equipment stuff here, yet - I started editing those to be mostly 8x speed later on or even omitting some equipment micromanaging altogether (I got really annoyed at myself when editing the Rogue VI mission for my jumping to micromanage every fucking equipment but that's still several videos away). If you open the video on Youtube it has clickable timestamps.

Highlights and timestamps for this video:

00:00 Character creation menu. No actual character creation included, I basically copy and paste a code I create off-screen.

01:56 Prologue. See vanilla version of Wren! Because this was recorded before the community patch mod updated to where you can now edit a save from before the start of the prologue, wow. I had no way of going to save editor and do the correct headmorph until the first save point. Will likely re-shoot this scene later with proper headmorph and subtitles. But enjoy vanilla Wren :D

06:04 Vanilla Wren magically transforms into modded Wren with my head morph edits.

06:15 Chat with Pressly.

08:52 Chat with Chakwas and Jenkins.

12:35 First look at squad screen.

13:05 Chat with Nihlus and Anderson.

18:32 Transmission from Eden Prime.

20:12 Arriving on Eden Prime.

21:15 Squad screen adventures, talent points for Kaidan and, yes, Jenkins lol.

21:55 Roaming around Eden Prime. Jenkins death, etc.

27:22 Recruiting Ashley. Havu's gameplay reflects the least professional combat skills ever. Idek if it was there but both drawing out the Big GunsTM when all the geth are already beaten and motherfucking why is it so hard in the first game to get Shep to take cover?! XD

31:13 Talent points for Ash, equipment upgrades. Editing Havu at gameplay Havu: WHY ARE YOU MODDING ASHLEY'S SHOTGUN AND NOT HER ASSAULT RIFLE?????

33:25 Back to gameplay.

35:10 Leveling up Wren, Kaidan and Ash.

36:18 The dig site.

38:06 The camp. Annoying husks being annoyingly slow to kill, chat with the people in the shed, etc.

[franniebanana]

CQL Rewatch - Ep 20

Iconic. Seeing Wei Wuxian back and better than ever is so satisfying! That flute playing that probably we’ve all forgotten about since the first two episodes becomes a repeating leitmotif throughout the series. It’s just as iconic as Wei Wuxian himself. And what I love about this shot here is how the light hits his eyes, and from this specific camera angle, it looks like a mask on his face! I just thought that was super cool. Whether it was intentional or not, I have no idea, but I like to think it was. I guess it’s like a reverse mask in this case—everything is hidden except his eyes.

It’s amazing how I only went without Wei Wuxian for like half an episode, yet it felt like so much longer. The emotional weight that he carries is so great that from all the characters searching for him, it feels like it’s actually been three months, instead of more like twenty-five minutes. And I think that’s something that we can feel in CQL but we can’t really feel in the book. Since the book is written in third person limited, we only see Wei Wuxian’s side of the story (I think that’s accurate, but it’s been a few months since I read it). That being the case, we never leave Wei Wuxian’s side, we never get to miss him being there. Of course the story is framed totally differently in the book and not in chronological order, even—lots of flip-flopping, which is fun but also a little confusing when you’re trying to keep track of a timeline.

I think part of what makes Wang Lingjao so creepy here is that her garish makeup is totally gone: her face is pale and ghoulish, with just the bright red blood trickling out of her nose, mouth, and cut on her cheek. I think they could have made her even more ghostly, but I like what they did for her apparition. It’s fun to see how fast Wen Chao cracks, though. He’s very much all bark and no bite—honestly, such a coward. On the one hand, it’s satisfying to watch him lose it, but on the other, it’s quite disturbing. I toe the line between enjoying it and being disgusted by it, but I love that CQL at least kept in this part of Wei Wuxian’s character. It’s like revenge, no matter how bloody, is okay in Chinese tv, but not the main character being kind of bad. I don’t get why they had to nerf his character to the point of absolving him of all guilt with everything that happened. I like a character who makes bad choices, but feels guilty for it, because that shows depth. Someone who bad things happen to because of the “real villain” aren’t as interesting to me. I think also that Xiao Zhan would have been amazing as the real Wei Wuxian from the book, had they adapted him that way. I also would have really, really loved to see the scene that is only really described to us (I think by Lan Xichen) where a distraught and delusional Wei Wuxian rejects Lan Wangji. Ugh, that would have been so heart-wrenching! Maybe in the donghua…sigh….

So this is important, I think. There was a point in the last episode where Jin Zixuan tells his cousin not to let the crows peck at the dead bodies of their enemies. In other words, don’t desecrate the bodies, even if they are the enemy. Of course, Jin Zixuan didn’t hold any personal grudges towards any of them, at least that we know of. Jiang Cheng certainly does. So even though Wang Lingjao is already dead by her own hand, he whips her with Zidian. Jiang Cheng is becoming more and more twisted by his anger and grief, which he never deals with in a healthy way. He wants revenge against those that have wronged him and his parents, and he really never stops seeking revenge throughout the story. First it’s against the Wens, and then it’s against Wei Wuxian. It’s a fairly slow descent, I think, over years, but I quite like watching him twist like this. While it’s fun and interesting watching someone repent and have a redemption arc, it’s also interesting watching them go the other way.

Lan Wangji seems to know, or at least suspect, that the person who has killed everyone in the Supervisory Office, including Wang Lingjao, is Wei Wuxian. A talent for using talismans (one of which Lan Wangji used himself to escape the Wens), someone who is seeking revenge against the Wen Clan—these things point to Wei Wuxian in his mind. He doesn’t want to say this to Jiang Cheng, he doesn’t even want to admit it himself, but he’s putting the pieces together. I think this is a frightening thought for him. On the one hand, he would be happy to find Wei Wuxian alive, but on the other, what state would they find him in? And what does it mean that he’s killed all these people singlehandedly? This isn’t the Wei Wuxian that Lan Wangji knows and cares so deeply about. This isn’t the man that Lan Wangji was ready to die for. I think his heart is very much filled with dread in this scene.

Jiang Cheng’s line is interesting too—basically, the enemy of my enemy is my friend. Solid, really, but it does come with some problems in reality. The enemy of your enemy just might stab you in the back later. It’s a very simplistic view, but I think at this point, Jiang Cheng is just happy to see the Wens dead. There are a few he wants to kill himself, but he seems satisfied if they just die out, regardless of who does it.

I like seeing Lan Wangji and Jiang Cheng team up for these few episodes, because it’s fun seeing how they each approach the situations. Jiang Cheng relies heavily on his heart and emotions, which I can totally identify with. He wants to find Wei Wuxian and he wants revenge on Wen Zhuliu and Wen Chao—those are his two priorities. And then Lan Wangji is definitely more of a logical person—he wants to get to the bottom of these deaths and find out who is the person with so much wicked energy that is doing all of it—and also, that person is probably Wei Wuxian, who he is very interested in finding. Here Jiang Cheng wants to rush after Wen Zhuiliu, just as he did when he went back to Lotus Pier. He’s very rash, while Lan Wangji is much more calm and collected. I mean, if it were me, I’d want to see if they would give up any information before I killed them.

And the reveal is…Wen Chao is fucking disgusting! I didn’t even want to screencap one of the close-ups, because I felt like I’d have to do a trigger warning for blood lol. Not really, though, because I never do, sorry. I love the looks on Jiang Cheng’s and Lan Wangji’s faces, though. Jiang Cheng is so horrified and Lan Wangji is just mildly shocked. I think the real thing is like, who are we dealing with here? Who is this monster who’s been murdering everyone in all these different ways? Who has made Wen Chao look like this? Is this friend or foe? Like I said, Jiang Cheng keeps saying that as long as the person is killing the Wens, he’s fine with it, but I think even he is bothered by this level of mutilation, even against someone he loathes.

It’s hilarious to me that Wen Zhuliu uses this tactic with Wen Chao. Oh, you’re going to insult me? I’m useless? Okay, bye! LOL. Also very amusing that this is really the last conversation they have with each other: this bickering that they’ve probably done over and over off screen. Wen Zhuliu stays by Wen Chao’s side, though, because he’s indebted to Wen Ruohan, of course. It would have been a neat twist to see Wen Zhuliu defect. And you still could have had a dramatic scene where Jiang Cheng chases him down.

I love it! I love it I love it I love it! The flute! This part is so well done (it’s still a little campy, of course, but that’s part of the charm)! I mean, as the audience, we all know who it is by now, but I love that they keep up the mystery because Lan Wangji and Jiang Cheng still don’t know. They didn’t see him walk in. I just love this.

And shock. Jiang Cheng looks significantly more surprised. It had never crossed his mind that the person doing all this was actually Wei Wuxian, the very individual that he’s been searching for. Lan Wangji, on the other hand, doesn’t really look surprised. He looks a little surprised, okay—I’ll give you that. But I think most of what he’s feeling right now is the deep dread of being right. He wanted to be wrong, even when everything pointed to Wei Wuxian. I don’t think he wanted to believe that Wei Wuxian was capable of this, no matter how much he wanted to get revenge for what happened at Lotus Pier. I think there’s disappointment there too—how could he do such a thing? And I’ve giffed this scene with this quote: “He started to estrange her…And they became strangers who knew each other’s heart, so broken as they drifted apart” (Ana Claudia Antunes, Pierrot & Columbine). I think the realization here and a bit later for Lan Wangji that Wei Wuxian has become some other person is quite heartbreaking. He’s like a stranger to him, and that feeling of betrayal when you thought you knew a person inside and out—that hurts. It’s a deep-seated betrayal that Lan Wangji feels throughout this scene.

Oh, what I also like about this part is that when Wei Wuxian appears, neither one of them can look away. They are solely focused on him at this point.

He finally gets his revenge on Wen Zhuliu. And it’s great. They jump through the roof and he strings him up with Zidian. I can’t really say anything about it—Jiang Cheng needed to do this or he never would have been able to move on from Lotus Pier and his parents’ death.

WWX: Have I changed?

JC: No, not exactly.

I love that these lines are exchanged while the camera is on Lan Wangji. Lan Wangji already sees how Wei Wuxian has changed: the flute, the wicked energy, the almost senseless killing—none of these things are like the Wei Wuxian he’s come to love. And yes, I think love—and it hurts more because there is love. Lan Wangji wanted to walk the straight path with Wei Wuxian together, and he feels betrayed by what Wei Wuxian has done. Despite that, he still wants to help him. He implores Wei Wuxian to come back to Gusu with him so that they can help him and bring him back to the right path.

This whole scene feels like Lan Wangji isn’t even in the room, it’s like a private conversation between Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji just happens to overhear. He says nothing. He lets Jiang Cheng ask a hundred questions while Wei Wuxian calmly answers them. Wei Wuxian smiles and laughs, he seems himself, and yet he isn’t. There’s something wrong and Lan Wangji grows more and more perturbed by it as the seconds pass by.

The tension in this scene is palpable. It’s painful, it’s sad, it’s really hard for me to watch. And yet, this is one of my favorite scenes. Lan Wangji is feeling a lot, and he’s held it all in until this moment here. He calls him Wei Ying, and then Wei Wuxian in turn addresses him first as Second Master Lan, and then as Hanguang-Jun, both very formal names. It’s not Lan Zhan anymore—there is no familiarity on Wei Wuxian’s part. I think part of that is his attempt to protect Lan Wangji from any association with him that might actually harm Lan Wangji and his reputation. He’s setting a boundary—a wall—between them. And then when Lan Wangji bites back, Wei Wuxian changes tack: he stars being informal with him again, he brings up how they were good friends, classmates, etc. But that’s not going to work because Lan Wangji is feeling pretty upset right now.

Lan Wangji is desperate, scared, and worried for Wei Wuxian. Sometimes when we’re feeling all that, it can come across as anger, and that becomes worse when someone is dismissive of those feelings. Wei Wuxian is definitely dismissive here. In their interactions, Lan Wangji rarely shows this much emotion, and instead of paying attention to that, Wei Wuxian brushes it off. Jiang Cheng shows that he cares by hugging Wei Wuxian, but Lan Wangji is different—he’s thinking ahead, he’s seeing what Wei Wuxian has started to mess with—demonic cultivation—which can destroy a person’s mind, and he’s terrified. His only thought is to take Wei Wuxian away and try to change him for the better. Of course, just like what his father did to his mother, this cannot work. Even if Lan Wangji manages to force Wei Wuxian to come with him, he won’t be able to control him. All Lan Wangji can really do is try to persuade him.

The intensity of Lan Wangji’s gaze here is something else. This is a man who is desperate to save the person he loves. He is really looking out for Wei Wuxian’s best interests here and is getting no support from Jiang Cheng. I don’t really know what’s going on in Jiang Cheng’s head right now, but he’s definitely finding Lan Wangji’s behavior offensive. He doesn’t understand that Wei Wuxian’s actions will lead to his ultimate destruction, while it is very clear to Lan Wangji. But all I can do here is bring up how they viewed the person who was killing all the Wens earlier, before they even knew who it was. Lan Wangji felt very unnerved by it: he was disturbed by the talismans and disturbed by the various manners of death, while Jiang Cheng’s stance always was that it didn’t matter because the person was clearly on the same side—a dead Wen is a dead Wen no matter who is behind it. And his opinion doesn’t change even after he finds out. It’s not important to him how Wei Wuxian was able to kill all those people. He asks the questions, but he isn’t interested in really hearing the answer. On the contrary, I think Lan Wangji is very interested in those answers, but he wants to hear about it in a controlled environment. He doesn’t want Wei Wuxian to go back to Yunmeng, where he will essentially live with free-rein without boundaries.

As for cinematography, I love how Wei Wuxian holds up his flute here, setting up a literal boundary between him and Lan Wangji. Not only do you have Jiang Cheng creating that wall with his sword, you also have Wei Wuxian. What I mean is, it’s not only Jiang Cheng who wants to keep Lan Wangji out. Wei Wuxian is drawing a line here too: he wants Lan Wangji to stay out of his business. And this morphs into, what happens at this place is not Gusu Lans’ business—it only concerns Yunmeng Jiang Sect.

We all know Wei Wuxian is an arrogant person, but his arrogance and ignorance here is truly stunning. Lan Wangji tells him point-blank that he won’t be able to control this energy if he uses demonic cultivation, and Wei Wuxian does everything but laugh at him. I enjoy this and I hate it at the same time, because Lan Wangji is just fucking worried, you know? And maybe he doesn’t express himself well, but he’s shocked to see Wei Wuxian here, shocked that he’s responsible for all this—he can’t stay calm and collected under these conditions.

In just a few minutes, Wei Wuxian says that he and Lan Wangji are good friends and that Lan Wangji should treat him better, as well as “Who do you think you are? What I do is none of your business.” I’m paraphrasing, but that’s the gist. This scene here, with their faces so close to each other, kills me. This is absolute betrayal for Lan Wangji. It’s as if everything they had built together—all the respect, the affection, the comradery—is gone. The Wei Wuxian that he knew is gone.

I love the way this shot is framed, with Wei Wuxian staring after Lan Wangji, and then Wen Chao pleading, “Forgive me, forgive me.” So apt, because I think Wei Wuxian does feel bad here, I think he feels guilty. I think part of him really missed Lan Wangji and wanted to see him. I think he even knows that what Lan Wangji is doing is out of concern for him over anything else. But I also think Wei Wuxian’s pride gets in the way of that, and his desire for revenge, and even his desire for things to go back to normal. More than anything, Wei Wuxian wants to return to Yunmeng, to his shijie, to be able to live normally again, whatever that really means, because of course everything has changed. Nothing will ever be as it was again. More importantly, he has changed, and can never go back to the person he was before, the person who played so hard, the person who shirked his responsibilities and fooled around in classes, the person who shamelessly teased and flirted with Lan Wangji. That Wei Wuxian is gone. I think Wei Wuxian knows he’s hurt Lan Wangji and does feel bad about it, but he knows he has to push him away to protect him. He doesn’t want to drag Lan Wangji down with him, he feels it’s better this way. And I think, even though CQL!Wei Wuxian does have feelings for Lan Wangji quite a bit earlier than in the book, you can see the one-sided love here, in Lan Wangji’s aggressive behavior as he attempts to save this person he loves. Lan Wangji isn’t willing to give up on him, whereas Wei Wuxian is more prepared to let him go—to push him away to protect him. That’s love too, I suppose, but it’s a love that is meant to be from afar—a sad love, not a passionate one, not a desperate one, not the one that Lan Wangji feels for him.

This is so heartbreaking for Lan Wangji, in part, because they had such a special relationship before. Prior to this, Wei Wuxian prided himself in that he and Lan Wangji went on night hunts together—the clan didn’t matter, whether that was unorthodox or not. And now to see him use his clan as a barrier between them…it’s quite a betrayal. Lan Wangji feels so hurt, so at a loss—he wonders what could he have done differently to prevent this, he blames himself.

This is one of my favorite episodes because of this reunion scene. What you expect is some great reunion, the hugging between Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian, maybe a smile from Lan Wangji because he’s really happy to see him. But instead, you get pain. You get a Jiang Cheng hugging Wei Wuxian, but Wei Wuxian not even returning the hug (he only raises his arm to signal that he wants to break apart). You get a heated confrontation between Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian, one that is “fondly” thought of as their break-up scene. I love the drama, I love the pain, I love the angst, I love the dichotomy between Yunmeng Jiang and Gusu Lan, I love that this is the start of more tension between Jiang Cheng and Lan Wangji, I love everything about it. The “us and them” dynamic that starts here is so great, and then to see it slowly unravel throughout the next ten episodes, to see Wei Wuxian’s and Jiang Cheng’s relationship fall apart, while Wei Wuxian’s and Lan Wangji’s relationship begins to strengthen again--I eat it up. It’s like my candy. Anyway, I’m excited for what’s to come, excited to talk more wangxian and how it compares to the book (from my dwindling knowledge, that is)! Happy that you all are coming along this ride with me!

Other episodes: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 |

[ae0nx]

FRUITS BASKET S3 EPISODE 8 RECAP AKA THE KYORU CHRONICLES PART 2 (plus a quick recap of eps 3-7)

aaaaaaAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!! I gotta get it out of me otherwise I won't be able to concentrate on work and I will be scrolling through the tag till the day I die. Everything from episode 3 of Season 3 literally hit me like an avalanche - literally cos I marathoned 3-7 over the weekend which I wouldn't advise unless you want an accelerated heartbeat - and I'm starting to realise... maybe I just wasn't ready for season 3. Despite asking for it, haha. Not gonna put as many screencaps for this one cos tumblr editing bay be trippin and I just don't have time nor emotional energy to be fighting with the picture uploads, sorry lol

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Episodes 3 - 7

I spoke before about how (despite my feelings about the characters) the English dub VAs for Akito and Shigure pair up really well audibly. And I think I feel the same way about both Yuki and Machi's English VAs! They both have the same soft spoken yet scratchy element to their voices almost like they are holding slightly back. Although, I'd argue that Yuki has been losing the element of slightly holding back as the anime has gone on which I wonder if the same would be included for Machi's performance?

I really like the presentation of Machi's trauma through her family's expectations to be perfect and how physical it is? How Yuki kind of encourages her to let it out in a healthy way? (Btw the whole chalk breaking scene in the meeting was SO FUCKING SMOOTH. YUKI IS A NERD BUT HE IS SO EFFORTLESSLY COOL A LOT OF THE TIME)

The age gap between Isuzu and Haru for sure isn't the worst age gap in this anime/manga but it's still a bit... hmm...

Episode 4:

In all seriousness, I know Akito deserves some sympathy but it doesn't change the fact that I still see her as a villain. Hurt people hurt people but it doesn't mean they should get away with it, I was honestly pleased Haru got that big confrontation with Akito to tell her WHAT'S WHAT but it was also somewhat... merciful?

Hiro's growth has been so beautiful to see, him realising there are bigger things than him from the event with Rin to his relationship with Kisa to then the birth of his little sister.

Kureno choosing to get his hands a little dirtier and paying the ultimate price for it (as far as we know so far in the anime lol) was great, he is the moon side of Tohru's sunshine.

Shigure... I still don't really get him and Akito's relationship. It's clear he's waiting for Akito to grow the fuck up but at the same time he's not creating an environment for her to grow and develop. He's decided to go with the 'tough love' route which I'm still deciding whether I like it or not tbh. Sometimes it feels necessary, at other times it feels shitty. I respect that he knows he's a scumbag and I don't deny that there are people out there who take revelry in the fact that they are awful but at the same time, him remaining unchanging despite everything feels... unrealistic. But considering throughout this story he doesn't seem affected by trauma, it's understandable, I guess?

Also... that scene where Shigure ponders about whether he should've been with Tohru is THE creepiest creeper shit he's EVER done in this series. No. 🙅🏾‍♀️

Momiji is best bunny boi regardless of how tall and 'manly' he becomes. 🐰His scene with Akito was so authentically him and he really did that shit. We love him. <3

I love the way that the curse breaking should (on surface) be a happy event considering all the trauma the zodiac went through because of it but it's presented mostly as loss as well as happiness. It's the realness of getting out of a bad relationship

Shigure basically laying it out to Tohru how Kyo means nothing in a very taunting way was an excellently painful scene and I choose violence. It was heartbreaking seeing how worthless they all saw Kyo compared to how Tohru saw him but... by this point I was just living in the pain so 🤷🏾‍♀️

The story visually showing how Isuzu is more willing to be soft after her whole ordeal through her fashion choices (e.g. the pastels, the cardigans) was really nice. And Haru being happy about Isuzu making friends with Tohru was cute!

It was nice we saw that Kazuma was still wary about whether Tohru loved Kyo for the right reasons, you'd assume after everything Kazuma would love Tohru as a match for Kyo but he's so emotionally intelligent and also just a protective Dad! Yay, good parenting!

Tohru's confession to loving Kyo was amazing however I still adore Kyo's confession a little bit more. Just a bit. Lol. However, if you add the moment later in episode 8 it trumps it completely. Ethereal goddess.

Kyo and Tohru's grandfather having a scene together was great and nice

Now that I think about it, I wish there was more a visual link in the story between Tohru adapting her speech to imitate her Dad and Momiji adopting his Mum's German accent. Albeit for slightly different reasons, it just adds to the unique connection Tohru and Momiji have. In short, I'm seeing this ship with my third eye now. I get it lol

I don't wanna screencap the scene where Kyo is haunted by both his deceased mother and deceased Kyoko and potentially deceased Tohru because it's the stuff of nightmares. But, it was a wonderfully done scene. You definitely understand fully and clearly why Kyo buried all of that trauma under his hatred for Yuki (I CAN'T WAIT FOR EPISODE 9, YOU GUISE!)

If Akito is a villain, Ren is the final boss. Although, with her type of villainy... I feel like I can kind of enjoy a bit more. She reminds me of a Greek God in the ways she master manipulates people and her desperation for control and power (I just read 'Mythos' by Stephen Fry, it's a great read lol)

It lowkey feels like every female character who's comfortable in expressing their sexuality in this story is punished in some way for it... this is an incomplete thought

Shigure as a child feeling like they should all be pitied is so... mature... I feel like I need more of an explanation for why Shigure is the way he is

Akito's ego death with Kureno? Amazing. I loved that she was at least aware enough to realise how Kureno had been coddling her all this time but again... doesn't excuse her crimes

But anyways...

EPISODE 8

Honestly? I really don't have much to say about this episode besides 3-5 points I wanna get out of my head. It's not a bad thing at all, it's just that there's still a lot left to play out from this 'arc' and this season in general that I wanna complete my thoughts on.

But I'll start with this:

Lol, isn't it funny?! Isn't it heart-wrenchingly funny how the relationship between Kyo and Tohru has kinda reverted back to how they were at the start of the series? The coldness of Kyo at the beginning of this episode (and throughout) was a bit of a gut punch considering all the light and fluffy moments that we've gotten between the two since the True Form arc.

Talking about the True Form arc, I feel like this episode is somewhat a repeat of the same emotions, same trials of the True Form arc. Kyo still 'runs away like he always has' but this time we get him being the most honest and confrontational with his own emotions and trauma than he ever has been during the course of this whole story. While trusting someone (Tohru specifically) for the first time with the whole truth of his story! He always seems to move one step forward and then three steps backwards and while it's a tad bit frustrating, it feels very... real. I'll probably complete my feelings how this arc reflects the True Form arc when we finish this section of the story in future episode(s).

Considering the fact that 80% of this episode is Jerry Jewell monologuing as Kyo and I never got bored really just sells his performance. Kyo was being incredibly cold this episode and yet the range of emotions through his performance made it feel understandable enough for you to empathise with it.

BrattyKid!Kyo to lighten the mood 😹I still wish he and Hiro had more of a relationship, I feel like they could have taught each other a lot. Well... mostly Kyo teaching Hiro tbh

Kyo rejecting Kyoka for her honesty and kindness and then later rejecting Tohru? Oh... kid...

Wow, I felt so good about that whole episode of Kid!Yuki helping Kid!Tohru get home and then it's slightly soured knowing KID!KYO was running about the streets alllll night into the morning?!?! I really did feel Kyo's frustration at not getting that win to actually do something right. And the irony of that being linked to him being unable to save Kyoka from the oncoming car?

Honestly, I don't know what my feelings are on Kyo being unable to save Kyoka. I don't even know what my feelings are on Tohru pretty much pushing that aside in favour of her feelings for Kyo. It's... complicated and I've been mulling it over in my head for the last 10+ years hahah However, if I was in Tohru's position I think I'd eventually come to a point where it feels like it's too late to really do anything about how bad I'd feel about it. Kyo's intentions weren't horrid, if anything he was just being a scared kid and he's allowed to be that. I just wish Tohru had a bit more time to evaluate it but considering she knew her mother well and assumes that wouldn't have been the full scope of what she had said, I don't have much of a problem with it in general

Lol, I love when Tohru gets a 'FUCK YOU, I LOVE YOU' moment with Kyo. 😂Another reflected scene from the True Form arc... only thing is that this time... it doesn't quite work. 😕

(Again, I love how all of these reflections are resolved in later occurences in response to the duality but I'll get to it next week when it shows hopefully)

Laura Bailey only had a few sentences in this episode but she killed it as always. Comparing her performance in 2001 to now is just... growth!

Ok, so Yuki automatically gets Best Boi in this episode for meddling and chasing after KYO of all people. Showing how he's personally done with hating Kyo. Realising Kyo is pretty much the only person who'll make his mother happy. I think he also lowkey wants to understand Kyo? But, we'll get to that next week.

....Oh yeah, Akito is there.

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In total, I liked this episode even though it has me anxious for the next one. We finally get the full picture of why Kyo is the way he is! Ahhhh - a weight off all our chests, I'm sure. I kinda don't like that they put the ending theme at the end of these episodes - the joyfulness doesn't really match up with the intense theme? But, that's just a minor gripe. And hey, maybe they just want the audience to know... it's all gonna be okay :)

See you next week!!!

[fishylife]

Thoughts on Street Dance of China 4 episode 2

(Aka Fishy is screencapping shows again. I’m screencapping straight from Youtube so sorry for the shoddy cut off screencaps but blame Youtube for having their player bar cover the video. I’ve never understood that because it’s always in the way.)

(Also Episode 2 part 1 is really just “How many times can Han Geng and Henry hug” and the answer is “as many times as they want”)

- Not really sure why Henry chose Anissa and Tuzi for the 2 vs. 2 battle, especially since Anissa was really not confident about it :( I felt really bad for Anissa because she seemed super nervous!!!!! I just hope that she doesn’t lose enthusiasm and that she can continue to enjoy the rest of the competition v.v

- Kelo and Uwa were extremely impressive though. Like, the way they move together is so awesome and cool.

- Among the dancers, Xiao Jie is actually really good at speaking. No wonder he gets interviewed a lot, because he’s able to describe the dancers to us layfolk, but he is also very smiley and entertaining.

- How dare Yixing be this cute 😤😤😤 He’s definitely far more relaxed when he’s just a spectator, that’s for sure. He was laughing at all the jokes and awkward moments and generally so much more animated when just part of the sidelines.

- Henry covering his mouth because he was enjoying Xiaohai’s performance was pretty cute too, not gonna lie.

- I liked San’er from episode 1, so I was cheering for him when he participated in the 3 vs. 3 battle lol. But it was really interesting to hear the conversation when Wang Yibo asked his team why San’er lost the battle. Ye Yin and Liangliang told him that to the judges who are old school, they care less for explosiveness, and more for actual skill, and while San’er’s performance might’ve looked really exciting to the average viewer, that’s not what the old school judges look for.

- So apparently Lil Kev plays a lot of mind games, and we saw that during his battle against Bozi. So he’s like...the Brad Marchand of breaking lol.

- Are...are we gonna comment on this hug between Poppin’C and Xiaohai? Lmao

- What are they being so cute for. (Also don’t @ me but Bunta is....really cute)

- Is it just me, or did we get fewer behind-the-scenes practice clips this time for Han Geng vs. Henry compared to Yixing vs. Yibo? Particularly for the 5 vs. 5 battle.

- Dimple alert. (Sorry I know this is a Han Geng vs. Henry battle but Yixing just looks so freaking cute today)

- Han Geng.....has a really soft and gentle voice (it is simping hours up in the fishy house okay). He speaks particularly quietly during his one-person interviews and his voice is so pleasant to listen to in those clips.

- Henry was talking about how he wanted to do that move with Poppin’C where they’d lean back on each other’s knees and do a wave with their arms. For some reason that move struck me as something that was very Henry like. He just strikes me as the kind of guy who uses a lot of waves and smooth-looking moves in his dances.

- Also lol @ Henry being “non fatigue!” That Ontario French curriculum at work.

- Han Geng and Henry trash talking each other except it just turns into a walk down memory lane about how Han Geng used to take care of Henry.

- Don’t even act surprised, y’all knew I was going to screenshot this.

- Kitty is amused.

- Of course Han Geng would end his routine with a big ol’ hug. What a huge softie.

- I did think that Han Geng and Xiaohai were kind of a rough duo because even if they were in sync, it was hard to tell because of the height difference. Actually, I spent a lot more time focusing on Han Geng, especially towards the end when the rest of the team crowded around them and he was visibly one of the taller ones.

- Henry’s move where he stood on Poppin’C’s thighs was super cool!! His performance was just super fun to watch. I felt like I was having a good time along with them haha.

- Please sir, may I have more hugs?

- I think Han Geng and Xiaohai’s second performance was better because it relied less on being in sync performing the same actions. However, at this point, Poppin’C and Henry have kind of created a specific brand (TM) for themselves, like they are so uniquely charming to watch, so they have firmly won me over Han Geng and Xiaohai’s team.

- Running into a hug? Are you kidding me, Lau Hin-wah???

- More

- Not only is this show cashing in on the Suju/Suju M fans, it is definitely going to pull in new fans with the Han Geng/Henry ship lol.

- Yixing spinning to get up.

- It is just so goddamn natural for them to be so close to each other. Also Han Geng said that his waist is feeling iffy from that popping ^^;; Old man joints

- Lifting Han Geng’s shirt to look at his patch...

- One of the dancers on Han Geng’s team was crying because he made a mistake in the 5 vs. 5 battle and Han Geng is like why are you crying? And gave him a playful slap on the shoulder.

- Why is that the ads done by the dancer contestants are so much more entertaining than the professional ads (the ads with mainstream celebrities or with professional actors).

- Henry’s written the pinyin on top of the Chinese names of his team members. Better safe than sorry, you know?

- Lmao how dare they bully Tengzai and Shitou by making them talk XD

- I think that when Henry assigns his team members to certain battles, he is thinking more about the combination of styles, rather than the skill level or  synchronization. When he assigned Anissa and Tuzi to the 2 vs. 2 battle, he wanted to try out the East vs. West approach, but the opposing duo of Kelo and Uwa had a lot more history together and were obviously better as a collective unit. When it came to Chen Mo and Waiwai, he was interested in seeing a waacking duo. In theory I think I know what Henry was trying to imagine, but I think it is difficult to have a really intense waacking duo because it’d be hard to synchronize very high speed arm movements. In the end, they went with some moves that were simpler, and I think that’s why they lost out to Tengzai and Shitou. That being said, Henry did win his first battle against Han Geng. I think it’s just the 2 vs 2 battles that are his weakness. The 3 vs. 3 battles are really just individual battles, and the 5 vs. 5 battles are usually made up of dancers who are used to routine group dances as opposed to solo or duo dancers.

- A quick word about the judge Icee. His name in Chinese is 王冰冰. The 冰冰 part is self explanatory enough (冰 means ice), so where does the 王 come from? I read somewhere (I forgot where), but apparently his wife’s surname is 王, so he just took on her surname for his Chinese name. Don’t know how true that is, but I think that’s cute.

- So often I see Bunta and Ibuki having fun and cheering on other people, whether it’s their own team members or dancers on other teams.

- Less than a second flashback of Zitao from a previous season v.v Please producers...let us have a LayTao reunion....please....I beg....

- The 5 vs. 5 battle between Yixing and Henry’s teams was pretty fun to watch, probably because the song was so hype lol.

- The leader battles between Yixing and Henry were really entertaining too though.

- The first piece of music for Henry and Yixing’s leader battles was very very cool. Like, it was just a nice piece of music to listen to, and I think that the kind of music it was gave way to rather creative interpretations. Henry and Han Yu went for a more story-based approach, whereas Yixing and MT Pop focused more on an aesthetic. I preferred Yixing and MT Pop’s performance here.

- Henry and Han Yu also had a pretty solid performance for the second song. As for Mingming and Gumball, they didn’t really perform “together,” because they were both doing their own thing, but their individual performances were interesting. (Also let us acknowledge, nothing gets Yixing turnt like KRUMP XD He was so into the performance haha)

- I was so caught up in the euphoria of Henry/Han Geng that I forgot that Henry and Yixing also had a past history, but I think their friendship probably mostly existed off screen. They were from different groups after all, but we also know how low key Yixing has always been. Even if they were bffs we never would’ve known. I also remember on Back to Field, Yixing said that Henry helped him install and set up his music software, so they probably have some kind of rapport on the music side. But yeah, it just seemed like Yixing was rather formal about it all, calling Henry his 哥哥/前輩. And Henry seemed to look at Yixing like his son lol. He was like oh look at Yixing and how far he’s come, etc.

- Xiao Jie said that he’d battled Hilty & Bosch 14 years ago, which means that Xiao Jie isn’t that young, which may be why he’s so chill lmao. Anyway, Xiao Jie is a very entertaining dancer to watch, and he worked well with Shen Zihao. But of course, HB are formidable themselves as well and their chemistry is just too too good. And they’re just incredibly clean dancers.

- Yibo went over to Han Geng to scope out who he was going to send out for their battle. Xiao Jie tried to warn Han Geng about this but he was too late and Yibo already made his attack. But the entire interaction between Yibo and Han Geng was so lols because it was so strange lmao. Yibo was straight up like “who are you going to send out during the battle?” And Han Geng kept thinking that Yibo was trying to play mind games and use that to gleam other information from him. So Han Geng’s answer ended up being really confusing too, he was like “if that’s what you’ve decided I’ll follow your lead.” The thing about Han Geng is that he is too senior for Yibo to clown on, so he is actually being serious, and Han Geng is trying to keep things light haha. (I think Yibo would totally be his normal gremlin self to Yixing and Henry, but Han Geng is like the next tier up from them both.)

- LMAO Aki-san calling out Tony-san for being older than him XD And Tony Gogo was like what have I ever done to you??? I love Aki-san hahahaha.

- Okay Aki-san vs. Nelson was pretty awesome, but SO WAS BORIS vs. ZYKO???? Holy crap that was sooo much fun to watch because like....human bodies can bend that way? And Boris and Zyko aren’t small guys, so it was insanely awesome to watch.

- Side note, Boris’ Mandarin is pretty good. I looked him up and on his Instagram he says he lives in Shanghai, so it makes sense that his Chinese is good enough for everyday communication. In one part of the show he was instruction Yibo on dancing and like, he was not stuttering at all.

- Wait, Han Geng says that he’s known Yibo for 10 years :o So I just looked him up and it turns out Han Geng has been with Yuehua Entertainment since 2010, so I think the math makes sense. Wow, how time flies. He always such a dad though, he’s always like, the top priority is fun and happiness!!! And honestly, he’s right. Like, what is this show if not just a huge dance showcase more than an actual competition?

- Physically impossible for Han Geng not to hug his didis.

- I love that in a dance party full of dancers, some will still choose to slow dance like this.

- Of course Henry will come and praise his gege. (ft. Nelson in the right lol)

- Yo I love Rochka. He’s one of the chillest guys there.

- The kids’ performance was cute :3 Their little jumpsuits uwu

- Also one of the kids was Shitou’s daughter and it was absolutely hilarious how he still introduces her in the most monotonous and neutral voice and he was like “please give her some encouragement” in the most low energy voice ever XD The b-boying kids were super legit though. Oh and apparently Xiao Jie’s son was one of the dancers too :3 Somebody was like “yo Xiao Jie isn’t that your son?” and he was like “lol yeah.” XD Aren’t they cute?

[kumoriyami-xiuzhen]

Hakuoki Shinkai: Ginsei no Shou - Saito Hajime Chapter #7 English Translation

My translation of the 7th Ginsei no Shou chapter for Saito... It’s probably because that this is my favourite chapter from the game and one that I found especially enjoyable to read (and had more of an understanding of it before getting translations for this lol) that I somehow translated this in record time when compared to all the other things I’ve worked on.... 

Unlike Kazama’s final Tsukikage chapter, the dialogue for this wasn’t all separated line by line in the CN TLs I found for the Saito chapters [NAMELY BECAUSE I WROTE EACH DAMN FUCKING WORD OUT FOR THAT CHAPTER], so some of the text in this remains lumped together. Also, huzzah for google translate providing the translations of place names since I wouldn’t have been able to translate the Japanese words that had been left in the original tl for this otherwise. I don’t usually make adjustments based on the original JP text until I start editing for the video... which will be done later.

All images used in this post were screencaps of game footage I recorded through vlc... also is it just me who feels that my English comes across as a lot more archaic when I stick to the original tl sentence structure...? lol. Anyway, as always, my translation may not be 100% accurate since I do not translate from Japanese.

PLEASE BE ADVISED THAT THIS CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR ANOTHER GINSEI NO SHOU SAITO CHAPTER... one that I do not intend to translate right away... well I also include it in a note about what chapter it refers too. lol. it’s right below the cut.

Enjoy~! OR ELSE! MWHAHAHA!!

(jk, lol. plus, i’m too lazy to think of anything. oh and im currently working on the subtitle positioning for this now as the file got transferred recently since i finished the first round of timing [i need to do this multiple times to get the fade in/out of my subtitles to match the timing of game text’s fade/in... or to at least have them as close as possible] before having all of these tech problems.)

--------------------

Forward Notes

Based on what I remember from tokio-fujita’s notes (sorry but I didn’t check since im kinda busy rn, and the internet on my laptop is kinda unstable as I’m still transferring files... 17.3 gb remains from the dramas transfer) on Saito’s position in the Shinsengumi after leading them to Aizu, I’ve left his position as taichou in this translation due to how the only English translation for that is ‘captain’ which doesn’t show a difference in roles from when he was the Third Division captain ‘kaichou/kumicho’ [note to self: include this along with the link to the page in the post description later. also i will probably just change this to ‘captain’ anyway when i do my subtitle video].

Chapter 6 and 7 occur in Aizu

Hakuoki Shinkai: Ginsei no Shou - Saito Hajime Chapter #7

Translation by KumoriYami

7th month, 4th year of Keiou, after the Shinsengumi left for Sendai——

The Aizu, who had offended the Satcho were engulfed in the bitter flames of war.

When Shirakawa Castle was attacked, it would be a lie to say that I wasn't worried then.

Hijikata-san, Heisuke-kun, Shimada-san, and Souma-kun.

It was no longer possible to fight alongside the people who we deeply trusted since the beginning.

However……

I still have Saito-san.

Saito-san also me, although/even if/despite how I can't fight alongside him.

We relied upon one another, setting out for Shirakawa——

Shirakawa Castle, which had become the headquarters for my father's rasetsu—— we confronted him and Kazama Chikage there.

As Kazama-san had the overwhelming strength of an oni, if the fight was drawn out, Saito-san would have no chance of winning.

But, we still had....

Comrades we could rely on.

Even if [they] leave. Even if [they/they've] choose/chosen different paths.

As long as they maintained/followed their own bushido, everyone was still heading in the same direction.

I believe that as long as we moved forward, one day, our paths will surely cross again, and we will fight to the very end.

If only/I wish that everyone could see each other one more time, I could only pray that everyone would be safe……

Saito-san once again returned to the battlefield.

4th year of Keiou, 8th month

The Aizu Shinsengumi under the command of the Aizu, fought at the Bonari Pass——

After that, they fought bravely to stop the New Government army from entering Aizu Castle.

By the ninth month however, there were not many members left of the Aizu Shinsengumi, yet they still set out to defend/protect Nyoraido [refers to chapter 6] .

This is the story of what happened while I was waiting for Saito-san after he left. 

Fourth year of Keiou, Ninth month

Fourth year of Keiou, Ninth month

Saito-san and the other members of the troop left camp to protect Nyoraido.

Following his instructions/In accordance with his wishes, I accompanied the men who were seriously injured in battle to the rear of the formation.

Yukimura: Please wait a bit longer, I will treat you immediately.

Soldier:……At the most crucial moment, to be unable to help Saito-taichou, I'm terribly sorry.

Yukimura: ……There was no way you could, you are wounded after all.

Soldier: The taicho, is he really okay?

Perhaps it was because his wounds were too painful, that the soldier continued to weakly repeat himself.

Yukimura: Saito-san will be fine. He will surely come back alive.

In order to reassure the soldier, I spoke decisively/resolutely.

Yukimura: That's why, you need to focus on recovering right now.

Soldier:......Okay, I will.

Three days later.

The soldiers who had stayed in Nyoraido, none of them had come back yet.

The news from the front lines had also been cut off.

All that we knew was was the hopeless information brought back by the wounded.

There weren't enough bandages and medicines, and the wounded kept pouring in.

The soldier's and my worries became more intense.

It was at this time——

Aizu soldier: This is terrible/Bad news! Apparently Nyoraido has been completely surrounded by the enemy! The Shinsengumi in Nyoraido might have completely wiped out.

Yukimura:……!

The moment I heard such a dreadful announcement/news, it felt like the blood had been drained from my entire body. [news/information might be changed for ^^^ sentences. might use intelligence, communication]

A commotion spread throughout the entire formation [camp sounds more appropriate].

Soldier: Yukimura-san……

The wounded soldier looked at me with an anxious expression.

Previously, the instant I heard such news, I probably would have broken down into tears.

But, now——

Yukimura:……When such fierce fighting is going on, all sorts of rumours will be flying around we can't assume that everything is accurate before receiving an official confirmation.

Hearing what I said, the soldier seemed to calm down.

Soldier:……That's right. Before figuring things out, we'll still believe in/continue to trust the Taichou, and wait until he returns.

Even if Nyoraido has been surrounded by the enemy, the Shinsengumi may not necessarily be completely wiped out.

Shinsengumi——they, along with Saito-san, I don't know how many times they had escaped from death.

More importantly, Saito-san cannot die yet.

——flashback——

Saito: Yukimura, I wish to make you a promise.

Yukimura: A promise for me......? What is it?" Saito: No matter what happens in the future....... I will protect you with my life. This decision is not because of the Shinsengumi, Hijikata-san, or an order from the Aizu....... but of my own volition.

——end flashback——

At the time, he promised……

Even now, I can still clearly remember how we kissed after.

Saito-san, he made a promise to me.

He will come back to me.

I repeated those words in my heart over and over again, as if to convince myself......

But my heart was beating wildly, and cold sweat dripped from my forehead.

This wasn't able to eliminate my sense of unease.

Yukimura: …………

I truly wanted to rush over to Nyoraido, to immediately go to his side.

But, my duty right now, is to treat the wounded here.

So…… I could only trust/believe in him, and wait here.

After, I continued to focus on treating the wounded while waiting for Saito-san to return.

But, reports on the situation in Nyoraido, they never came again,

The sense of [them being] defeat[ed] became more intense, and the dreary mood gradually enveloped the entire formation [will probably use "camp"]. [The feeling that they had been defeated became more intense, and...]

Soldier 2: Yukimura-san, isn't it time for you to rest? You look very pale.

Yukimura: No, it isn't time to rest yet/it's not the time to rest.

Soldier 2:……Under these circumstances, if you collapse, once something happens, there won't be anyone to depend/rely on [for what you do]. Even if it's just a short nap…… please, for everyone's sake.

When faced with such a strong request, I couldn't refuse.

Yukimura: Okay. Then I'll go and nap/sleep for a bit.

I decided to go find a corner to go nap in .

Perhaps it was because I was so tired, but once I closed my eyes, I immediately fell asleep.

As I slept, I had a dream.

Yukimura Nn, nn......

I didn't know where I was in this dream, the surroundings were hazy as I looked around.

Where……is this?

Yukimura: Is this the Aizu's…… camp……?

……Right.

I was waiting for Saito-san to come back…… then……

My head felt numb and heavy as I looked around again……

Saito:……Yukimura.

Yukimura: Saito-san……!

The person I wanted to see suddenly appeared before me/Now that the one I wanted to see  suddenly appeared, I immediately got up.

Yukimura: You're back from fighting at Nyoraido! Where are the rest of the soldiers……

Saito:……In regards to this, I have something that I must tell you.

Yukimura: Eh……?

Hearing him say such ominous remarks, I couldn't help but feel confused.

Saito: Even now, you have always been at my side…… My gratitude towards you goes beyond words. If I didn't have you, I wouldn't have been able to continue fighting until now.

Yukimura: Thanks for what [reword later]……

Why was he suddenly saying such a thing?

Yukimura:……To speak of thanks, it's too much, I don't need it [It's too much for you to speak of thanking me/it's unnecessary for you to thank me]. Because, you and I……

We are no longer outsiders [/We can no longer be considered as outsiders/strangers...not sure what i’ll go with here] ——I just wanted to say that.

I don't know why, but I couldn't say anything.

The Saito-san before my eyes/right now, there was a subtle sadness to his expression, as if he was extremely sorry.

He…… wasn't like the one [man] I knew at all.

In this unnatural atmosphere, he spoke solemnly.

Saito: I……there is something I must tell you…… No matter what happens, no matter what you experience/encounter/face…… but now I [reword later]……

Yukimura:……!?

I was too late to ask him——

Saito-san's figure was already starting to fade away, then completely disappeared into the darkness of night.

Yukimura: Saito-san, don't go! What are saying to me——

I shouted out then/and lost consciousness.

When I opened my eyes again, my entire body was drenched in sweat.

Yukimura: Just now, that was a dream……

The foreboding feeling/premonition made my heart beat wildly.

Why was it at this time, that I dreamed of Saito-san?

Furthermore, in my dream, it seemed like he had something to tell me.

I had a bad hunch/felt a sense of foreboding, but there was nothing I could do.

Looking around everywhere, Saito-san and the others still hadn't come back.

Although/Even if I dreaded to think so……

Just now, it was just a bad dream, it shouldn't be a sign that something bad would happen.

Saito-san and the other soldiers, what happened to them?

……No, it couldn't be.

He promised me, he would surely come back.

But, if that wasn't the case?

……If I continued to wait here, would he really come back?

I……

Choices 

【Search for him】 【Believe in him and wait】 <-

Although I wanted to immediately rush to Saito-san's side……

I still remembered what he said before.

——flashback——

Saito:......As time passes, things change. The world, ideals, and even the Shinsengumi. Even so, that does not mean that everything must change. As things change with time, so too will there be things that do not change. And I...... I believe in the things that do not change.

——end flashback——

……Saito-san had never gone against the promise he made me/never broke the promise he made me.

Regardless if it was when he left the Shinsengumi to join the Guardians of the Imperial Tomb, or when he was defeated at/during the Battle of Toba-Fushimi.

Also, there was when he ended up fighting Kazama-san.

In the end, he always came back to my side [me].

So, as he promised, he will certainly come back to me.

So, I too——

Yukimura:…………

An incredible feeling swelled in my chest.

It wasn't because of panic, rather it felt like the stars were whispering to me……

This feeling pushed me out of camp.

Outside of camp was a forest that always looked the same at night [reword later].

Although I didn't know if any of the soldiers would return, I thought……

I felt somewhat dejected, and couldn't help but look up towards the night sky.

It was full of stars, quietly twinkling.

Long before I was born, these stars, they must have been watching the world in silence/been silently watching the world.

No matter how many years passed, these silver stars would always shine in the night sky.

Yukimura: Me too……

Under the allure of the dim starlight, I couldn't help but say this/I was unable to restrain my emotions.

Yukimura: I also…… believe in the things that do not change.

Even if the path forward was covered in darkness, the light that pointed towards the future still shined.

Yukimura: I believe——no matter what happens in the future, you will not change.

Just as I muttered this to myself.

There was the sound of movement through foliage.

I froze, staring attentively in the direction of the sound.

After/Then……

???: Is.…… someone there?

The moment I heard that voice, I burst into tears [or: almost burst into tears]. 

Shortly after, a single silhouette flashed in the woods, and its figure gradually became clearer.

Saito: Chizuru…… is that you?

My beloved/The man/The one I loved was calling my name, I could no longer/was no longer able to control myself.

Yukimura: Saito-san…… Hajime-san!

I shouted his name, throwing myself at him.

Yukimura: You came back……! Hajime-san……!

I wanted to welcome him back with a smile.

I didn't want to be crying when we were reunited.

If I cried, that would make it harder to see Hajime-san’s face……

All sorts of thoughts that I had been repressing came bursting out of my heart.

Saito: Ah…… I'm back, Chizuru. Didn't I promise you that I would return? Why are you crying? Could it be, that you didn't believe me?

Hearing Hajime-san's question, I shook my head.

Yukimura: How could I not trust you. However, I was always worried…… [and] when I heard the bad rumours at camp, my heart felt like it was going to crack/split open. Also…… I had a dream, a dream where you went far, far away……

Saito:……I see.

As I cried, Hajime-san awkwardly embraced me.

His uniform, it was completely dirty……

Although his uniform was black, a single glance showed that there were bloodstains and bullet holes everywhere.

Just from seeing him like this, I could tell he had seen a fierce battle. [ or "it was as if I could see a fierce battle." check jp mtl]

A moment later, Hajime-san showed a bitter expression.

Saito: When [we were] surrounded by the New Government Army, I was prepared to be completely wiped out/defeated…… At this time, one of the seriously injured/wounded soldiers told me: we've all been injured [been completely beaten... or some other word that i think of later that implies helplessness] and can no longer be of use to fight. Leave us behind and get out of here with the rest of the troop members——

Yukimura:……!

The decision that had been before Hajime-san, the weight of it left me speechless.

Saito: The me from before, perhaps I would have accepted this proposal. But…… the me now, it was impossible [reword later]. Hijikata-san entrusted me with the leadership of the Shinsengumi. Additionally, I could not leave those who trusted me and stayed/chose to fight together with me when the Aizu were abandoned.

Yukimura:……Nn.

I looked straight into Hajime-san's eyes, and nodded approvingly/nodded in agreement.

Hearing about the changes in Hajime-san's heart, I felt delighted/happy, as if it was my own affair.

Saito: If I had accepted that soldier's proposal, I likely would have returned sooner…… Carefully leading the troops back, it took longer than I thought…… I'm sorry for making you worry about me.

After listening to Hajime-san's words, I shook my head.

Yukimura: I……that's not important/it doesn't matter.  As long as are you are like this, and as long as you come back to me…… that's enough.

Saito:…………Yes [alt I see/is that so. check audio].

Yukimura: What happened to the other troop members/soldiers?

Saito: Because they're moving while carrying the wounded, I think that it will probably be a while longer before they catch up. But they will certainly catch up.

Yukimura: So it's like that, that's good……

Just by/from feeling Hajime-san's temperature [warmth] and his breathing, I was already very happy.

As long as he was like this now, and alive [As long as he lived like this now]…… being at my side, it was enough.

From the way he was looking at me, I could clearly feel that he felt the same way I did.

Saito:……Even for myself, I find it/feel that it's incredible/unimaginable.

Yukimura:……?

I tilted my head, not understanding what he meant.

Saito: Previously, I thought, the ideal wish of a warrior/samurai [check audio] would be to die in battle. However, I now fight for the sake of my comrades, so as to survive [so that we survive/live. chck jp mtl].

Indeed, if it was the past Hajime-san, when faced between choosing life and death, he likely wouldn’t have hesitated.

But......

Yukimura: I.......love the you now....... and I love the you back then. No....... no matter however you are, I will always accept you.

Hajime-san's eyes narrowed in satisfaction.

Saito:……You once told me before. The answer, the one I painfully struggled to find, whatever it was, you would accept it.

Yukimura:……Nn.

Saito: The one who changed me, it was probably you, Chizuru.

Yukimura: Eh......?

Saito: At the most dire point/height of the fighting, I thought of your face…… and my determination to not die grew stronger. Furthermore, every time I thought of how you were doing everything to help the wounded at camp, I kept thinking that these soldiers must not die here.

Yukimura:…………

Carefully listening to my lover's voice, his words, made me feel infinitely happy. [Listening to my lover's voice, his words made me feel extremely happy.]

When Hajime-san was desperately fighting at Nyoraido, if I was able to provide him some courage……

Nothing could make me happier. 

After a short while, Hajime-san slightly tilted his head, almost as if he was urging something.

There was no need to ask what would happen next.

I closed my eyes, quietly responding to him.

After a pleasant wait, our lips were pressed together.

This kiss, it was very restrained, just like how he was.

My heart was beating loudly.

These thoughts became increasingly stronger in my heart, how I wish the two of us could stay in this forest at night forever. [check jp mtl. i’m probably going to go with something to the effect of: How I wish we could just stay forever in this moment, alone and encompassed by this forest at night.*this sentence is pissing me off lol.]

No matter what happens, I will never leave him again.

Saito:……From now on, I will never let you be this sad again. So, let me see you smile/your smile. In order to see your smile, no matter what happens, I will always return to you. [check jp mtl]

Before, I once asked him what he would do one day if he had to drink the Ochimizu for the Shinsengumi……

The answer that came from his lips without any hesitation, was to 【drink it】.

Yukimura:…………Nn. Hajime-san…… Hajime-san, as long as you stay by my side, I will always be happy.

He had asked me to smile, but i couldn't help but to continue crying...

As a result, I was smiling and crying in front of the person that i loved.

About half a month later, the 22nd of the 9th month——

The Aizu-han, which had been firmly resisting the New Government army, surrendered.

——End——

--------------

well, I probably could have made it easier for myself if I just copied the flashback text from SK/KW/EB... but I just couldn’t bring myself to look up the games to copy said text (had to uninstall them from my old pc for space to take stuff off my passport) since it’d really bother me knowing if I copied something than said it was my translation... which is why i didn’t. ah well. as a translator, the idea of taking credit on something that i didn’t translate really doesn’t sit well with me... but I still think that what I did for those parts came close to what I remember from the games...   

gotta say though: I really dislike the word 「隊士」. In both Chinese and Japanese... and that, as a translator,  i really don’t like how the Gregorian calendar names the months lol. it’s just so much easier to just leave the date as what it says based on the old Japanese calendar... with the era name and month number. let’s me not worry about doing research to ensure the accuracy of things (i require that all of my videos be precise when it comes to dates)... 

also, i wish it’d snow everyday for a week. id get motivated enough to finish a chapter with that.... tho it’d need to be a heavy snowfall so it’s very visible. lol. maintaining my motivation on one thing for a long period of time just doesn't come easy to me... especially when it’s something that has +4000 words in it.

[nalyria]

God Michael! 🤣🤣 I finished playing Shadows of Saintsfour about two days ago during the Freeplay event and my LI was Michael.

I played SOS awhile ago but didn't get pass season 1 because I thought the series was super predictable which made it boring, but WOW DID IT PICK UP IN SEASON 2, esp 3!!! I can't believe it got better within those 2 seasons. I thought the story would be dragging on for no reason, but was pleasantly surprised that season 3 and season 2 were tied together with 1. And they existed in one cohesive story! I can't believe that I would have never, and I mean NEVER, would have touched this story again if it wasn't for the Freeplay event. I completely underestimated this story... I would have missed out this gem. Now I see why this is one of the more well-liked and popular book of the app now.

That being said, I love Michael. No not love, I ADORE him. Seriously.

I never screencap game moments but I had to for Michael. I never felt so much adoration for a character that made me want to do this 🤣🤣. I love the romantic scenes between MC and Michael and the conflict that was presented in season 2. And his asshole-douchery flaw....

In his next line, he says he's worried about you. He's just worried, but still Michael, no need to bring your girlfriend's friend down. ESPECIALLY WHEN THAT FRIEND HAS BEEN WITH HER THROUGH THE THICK AND THIN THAN YOU DID IN SEASON 2 and 1!!! (ofc Michael saved MC's life in season 1, but Derek has been sticking with MC when Michael hasn't, which is alot)

However, his sweetness towards MC is altogether too much. I wish he had more interaction with her friends tbh. But now I present the last line (I think) and perhaps the best from Michael...

So sweet 💕. Gosh he is still fallen head over heels for us 😳😭 like the first time. The sex scene with him was also so sweet... the line said everytging about him is familiar, yet there is something new to discover. 🥺I love how protective he is of MC and how absolutely loyal he is to her. He runs away with her FFS!!!! He leaves a gang and family with an equally traumatized brother just to be with her. He leaves everything for MC and if that doesn't scream Bae material, I don't know what else. He is the epitome of a ride or die partner and I cannot, I don't think, can feel the same attachment to the other LI's in this book. Probably John though lol.

I was super anxious during the train station scene because I thought I didn't have enough points with Michael for him to run away with me and the writers made it seem so, so I tapped pretty fast, half reading the lines in trepidation. When I read that he actually came and then we held hands as the train departed... my heart... 😭💔💔💔💔 RC don't play with my heart like that 🤣🤣🤣

That aside, I wish Michael had a bigger role in season 1, 2, and 3. He did in season 1, but he stopped appearing frequently, esp in 2 and 3. I thought he would appear more often because he's MC's bf. And it would make more sense for both of them to search together. Even unromanced, it would still make sense for Michael to hang with MC's group because they're the only ones who are really actively looking for Bobby. This would have led to more dynamics and interest in MC's friend group..alas, this didn't happen. A missed opportunity IMO but I suppose his absence could be explained by this: he has his own life. Lol. Or a different way of doing things. Still doesn't really make sense to me, but oh well. I still very enjoy his route and his development nonetheless.

I also wish other LI's had more moments with MC. I heard Stephanie was sidelined, not sure though because it was as though the main love interests would only appear around the time our chosen love interest appears. Not sure how much that is true since in season 1 I didn't romance her. Strange how she barely appeared in my route though. I thought she would help us more or become part of the gang, but she didn't. Disappointed because I would have def liked another best friend besides Candy and again, more layer to the friend group. Her interaction with Michael would have def be interesting.

I also wish that non-romanced main love interests appeared more than the Black dragons. To me, I don't think their role fit with the story very well if you think about it. Luke and Stephanie def would. Stephanie's grandma is acquainted with Mrs. Hill and is a witch; Luke's family's hold over the cursed painting. I wish the black dragons' appearances were at least shared with the non-romanced ones. Like I wish I knew what Luke and Stephanie were up to in detail. It was seriously strange for Luke to not be around when Bobby was missing and that he never tried contacting us. In both seasons 2 and 3, I couldn't stop wondering what they were up to and missed them (although Luke drugged us lol).

So imo, the black dragons' role should def be less than Luke and Stephanie. Definitely weird, but it is what it is.

Speaking of the Black Dragon's, Aaron is a hot daddy. Like GOD DAMN. I couldn't help but flirt and kiss with him although I was scared that it might ruin my relationship with Michael 🤣🤣🤣. Cherry.. i would like cherry if he was drawn better. At first, I couldn't like him because of his sprite but his personality is ahh, so mischievous, I love it. I would have picked Aaron over cherry though LOL.

I would replay season 3 to romance them again, but the scenes are very few and I already played most of them. I'm just missing their final sex scenes really, so it's not really worth it to replay the entire season just to get their ending and final sex scene lol.

I can't bear to cheat on Michael with Aaron or cherry, I can't do him dirty like that. Like for FFS, Aaron married Luke's sister and we never, at least imo, build the same heart wrenching connection we do with Michael compared to them. And the fact that he freaking left everything in his life for 10 years to be with us!! Like nooo I can't!! 🤣🤣 there aren't enough scenes with the side characters to justify the cheating 🤣🤣 Michael is too gentle and sweet for the hurt.... but i did cheat on him with Derek HAHHAHA mostly because 1996 Michael wasn't available so I thought something happened so I was like ALRIGHT GUESS WE FUCKIN'. I was tempted to choose Derek over Michael because Derek has been with us more than Michael has. Not to mention, he really cares for MC. Wish there was a 3p ending with both of them 😭😭 they're both super loyal to MC and would lay their life down for her.

The same thing with John too. I can't bear to see Michael grieving over MC and MC picking John over him... can you imagine Michael dying and finally seeing his dearly desired dead gf in DreamWorld but only to see her gettin' it down with some guy who tried to kill everyone in the past? 🤣🤣🤣 nah man I can't do him dirty, especially when Michael saved us from the Faun. Speaking of that event, it was weird that there wasn't a conversation/consequence from Michael who saw John kiss us LOL. And he definitely heard us talking about the intimate moments we shared HAHAHAHA. Though, John's short route is terribly cute. I really enjoyed it tbh. Surprised that we didn't have any repercussions for cheating on Michael with him. Moving on, I watched his ending on YouTube and it was super bittersweet.😭

I honestly like his route a bit more than Aaron's. Or equally. Can't decide! Aaron's route is basically MC still in love with her old crush who used to intimidate her and was exciting since he's someone you wouldn't acquaint yourself with, especially as a young, inexperienced student. And then coming back as a mature woman, and still knowing that you're in love with him and he is still too, ah so cute. That moment you share with him in the snow on the swings 💕💕. Honestly I feel like that moment MC needed a proper adult figure to comfort her so that scene was a bit weird and made me think, hm, MC is probably crushing on him because he is older, hot, and is sort of providing a parental comfort to her lol. In my HC universe, MC crushes on him, but it quickly dies because she was vulnerable in the moment. I'm happy that that moment didn't escalate any further and that Aaron didn't chase MC unless MC did in the end. It would have been very weird because it would have been a moment where he, as an adult figure, take advantage of MC. Then again, it's fantasy/fiction. To each to their own eh? I still enjoyed it. I honestly could personally relate to the line where Mc says that the experience and age (something like this) provided comfort to her, so that moment felt awfully sweet to me.

In the end, there could only be so much you can push in in a story game app.

I still really enjoyed this story. Despite the flaws I pointed out, I love this story to every bits. I find this much more entertaining than SOTF, so I'm glad that it is written the way it is. Perhaps I should write a post about SOTF in the future since I'm close to finishing it, but I don't think I will since I don't like it much.

[purpledragongaming]

Hey there, y’all!  I’m going to kick this blog off with a little bit of info about me.  My name’s Miranda and I’m what you’d call a ‘casual gamer.’  I play all kinds of things, but what I play and how I play is based purely on personal enjoyment.  I’m not a competitive person, by any means, and I’m just as likely to play a Hidden Object game as I am to play an MMO.  My very first computer games came as part of a package on my parents’ Tandy 1000.  I was no older than 3 or 4 and I LOVED the drawing program, which was a bit like a digital Etch-a-Sketch, but you could change the color you were using as you went.

We were never without a computer in my house from that point onward, and it wasn’t long before my parents started buying actual games to play.  I quickly became a fan of Sierra Online, and cut my ‘baby gamer’ teeth on classics such as Winnie the Pooh in the Hundred Acre Wood, The Black Cauldron, and Donald Duck’s Playground.  ;)  When I got old enough to read/comprehend, I also enjoyed a handful of text-based games, my favorite probably being The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, though I vaguely recall playing the first Zork game and another fantasy game that my mom checked out from the library, but I could never beat before we had to return it.  >.<  LOL!

Anyway, this is all to say, that I’ve been enjoying various kinds of games for my whole life.  I play a game for one of two reasons (usually) - story and/or art style.  My tastes haven’t changed over the years, but I feel that they’ve broadened.  This new blog is a way for me to share some of the things I experience in the games I play.  Maybe it’s a cool landscape, or a favorite scene, or an awesome creation that some other user has set up for the enjoyment of others - whatever it is, it’s something that I think is worth sharing.

All of that said, I don’t expect this blog to get a lot of traction.  I kind of view it as more of a personal photo album of gaming memories.  If you happen across something you see and like, please feel free to reblog it.  ^_^  I would ask, however, that you keep any negative opinions to yourself.  If you don’t like the game, or the company or any of the people involved with the making of said games, or whatever else - don’t voice your negativity here.  That isn’t what this blog is about for me, and I’m not above blocking people in order to keep my blog free of those kinds of attitudes.

Right then, now that that’s all said and done - I’m going to start this blog off by reblogging a bunch of screencaps and gifs I originally made and posted on my personal blog and from my gif blog.  From there I’ll start adding new things.  I’ll do my best to keep things tagged well for searching purposes, but if you think a different or new tag is needed, just ask and I’ll see what I can do.  I’m also happy to chat about games via the Ask and Submit features, so feel free to ask questions - but again, please avoid negativity.  It’s okay, if you didn’t like a game (all of our tastes are different, after all) and you can say as much and ask me why I DID like something, but please don’t trash talk anything.  ‘I didn’t like that game because the graphics were outdated and the story was weak’ is very different from ‘THAT GAME SUCKED BALLZ!’  ;)

So, there we are, then.  Enjoy the blog and happy gaming!

[zirkkun]

Yo you have every right to be upset about things! You're still a person with your own feelings and deserve to be treated kindly. No one should come at you for making things you enjoy or for misunderstandings. I hope things get better for you even if I wasn't here for when all the drama happened (or maybe I was and just wasn't aware of it? I tend to avoid drama as much as possible tbh)

I didn't really post about it much. I think I answered about 4 asks about it (three of them in the same post because i was sure it was the same anon due to the similar string of seemingly continued messages) and the rest I just deleted as soon as they came in, but I got... A lot. A lot of mean things said too. Kinda hurts when you wanted to make something because you knew this work was highly criticized and wanted to let people give it a second chance only to be shot down by the people you were hoping to defend lol

In short, and a lot of it I missed because I was blocked by a lot of people so my friend sent me screencaps; someone took I believe only the old ask box post I had for ULR, which at the time was called "Underlust Rewrite," and was disgusted at the fact that everything was revamped and "made for kids" (because it's not 18+ explicit content, but as I've said before, it's just cause I'm too scared to be horny on main, and I've literally made a whole different biological system for ULR so I can write the necessary story ""sex scenes"" without it being human-like sex or otherwise uncomfortable or too explicit for me to draw, but I still consider it a mature story overall), so they blocked me instantly here and on twitter and then made a callout post on twitter itself. People were telling me originally to stop calling the AU Underlust, and I didn't really get it at first, because like, what's the difference between my spinoff and, say, Underlust Gold, Swapfell Indigo, TS!Underswap, you know, names that have add-ons from the original title to differentiate it but still connect it to the source. So that's what I said, as well as if I removed the Underlust name, it would be considered stealing to me, because I'd be disconnecting it from the source. But apparently, instead, what had been the concern was that it was just being called "Underlust" and the "Rewrite" aspect was implying I was replacing the original story, which like, had never been my intention and I've made a bunch of things with both the ULR and UL cast together and love the idea of Lust and Ace meeting up and just being a disaster duo of not working together at all. I just adore Underlust like it's in my pinned FAQ, Lust's been in my banner for months now, and he's practically my staple pfp character on every account but here atm.

It took like 3 days for it to actually click what was going on, because once I finally got the chance to have a conversation with someone where they weren't telling me I was the scum of the Earth -- which, honestly, bless the three people I talked to, they were so sweet (which actually included someone from the Japanese side of the fandom whose art I loved too... yeah it got pretty far. Once I sent them a message though it was cleared up quickly and they did post a clarification post about ULR and me, so that was nice to see.) -- I finally got the chance to realize that this was a misunderstanding from the beginning, from both sides, where people coming at me were saying I was doing all of the stuff above and probably more but those stuck the most, while I was confused as to where this information and accusations were coming from and what they were referring to in the first place. They probably never explained it in the anon asks because, well, they probably assumed I knew what I was doing, but when they came at me about something I didn't do with vague context of something I did do, I was very confused, and got really defensive really quickly, and really honestly snapped pretty hard. After my first initial explanation post and people were still trying to tell me to stop ULR/don't call it Underlust/whatever else there was, I just got tired and told people to block me if they didn't like it. But that didn't really stop anyone and honestly made it worse because that's when I started getting really nasty messages. I like... Specifically remember one where someone called me a lowlife and a thief, and that one stuck the most, but I tended to not read through them before deleting them for my own sanity. I actually did this to one of the people who'd later talked to me calmly about it at first too, because I had just woken up, and really didn't want to read an essay lecture on everything everyone's been telling me at the crack of 7am when I was borderline ready to delete my account and start over lol

Some people I do remember were accusing me of trying to censor nsfw content or erase it as well because ULR isn't 18+, and I'm out here on my horny ass like "wh. What are they talking about, where did you get that idea, have you SEEN my ao3 recommended list," /j but in all seriousness I really didn't understand that accusation at all because I've never been against nsfw content in the slightest and lowkey? This is very dumb -- but like, you know how they say when you get hate mail, you know you've made it? Well, for me, my thought has always been, "When there's 18+ fancontent of my OC's, I'll have finally made it." This is... Not a joke, some of my friends think its very weird LMAO oh well. I've been on the internet for far too long at this point -- like, definitely since I was far too young, probably, and being with a family of the next youngest being 12 years older than me, I really dove into stuff pretty quickly I definitely shouldn't have, but hey that's life -- I'm really unfazed by mostly anything now. Hell, me making ULR was honestly half motivated by me wanting to make others more comfortable with this kind of media, discussing sexuality and otherwise sexual-considered topics, without really being embarrassed or bothered by it. Because, people talk about death and killing and whatever other gorey stuff just fine, but the moment sex comes up, people just gasp in awe, y'know? I kind of grew up that way myself but like... ironically, in being more comfortable with my asexuality, I realized that it's honestly not that big of a deal. Sure, we don't need to hear the details of everything. We don't need to hear the details of a murder either. But I will never understand how murder is always the lowest on the "morally wrong list of things to not to" to so many people and that it's fine to mention, but even consider bringing up anything else and it's like, a sin and you're a bad person. Even racism is like, higher up on there for a lot of people, which it's like... this is an issue that needs to be discussed, or it can never be solved. You can't just kick that away and hope it goes away on its own, that's never how it works.

Ah, well, now I've gone off tangent lol. Sorry to make you read a blob of text lmao but having things in a cohesive format of what I've been thinking does feel a bit better. Thank you for the support regardless, and I do want to keep making what I really enjoy, because frankly, I really want to make things that make people take a step back and think for a moment, y'know? Things that invoke like a realization in yourself about something you didn't even know. That's how fiction's always been for me, so I want to give back by making it that way too. ... maybe my horny content is exempt from this however. That's just. Self indulgence LMAO.

Probably helps that I'm actually talking this all out for once, too, since before any of this I tried to keep as much of the situation contained to myself as possible in hopes I could clean it up before it got too bad. That was, in hindsight, probably a terrible idea lol. But I didn't want to be a source of stress for anyone following me or become the new creator-to-defend that like, 50% of people hate and 50% of people love and that you're either on one side or the other and there's no where in between. (I feel like Arin Hanson comes to mind for me every time I think of someone like this.) I know I can't please everyone and I knew internet hate would come eventually, but like, didn't expect it to be over a name or tag choice. I thought that would be a simple enough DM or clearable thing but apparently not, especially since I saw someone a few weeks ago delete their blog over a similar thing (though, the opposite, in a way: posting nsfw in a sfw tag by mistake). It wasn't in the UT fandom so y'all probably weren't following them (tbf I wasn't either, I just witnessed it happen from start to finish), but it was still disheartening.

Anyway, thank you, and sorry to make ya read all of that (if you actually did vahdbs don't blame you if you don't it's a lot of thought dump lmao)💕💕

[theaspers]

Uh hi, would it be cool if I asked you to elaborate your feelings on Lucifer? He may not be my favorite, but I love seeing people talk about him and his actions/feelings/etc

thank you for sending this ask! i’m sorry i went on such a long rant ahaha but this is only mostly based on lesson 6 alone bc if i were to talk about everything, it would probably be too long. still, i hope you enjoy this even if you disagree with what i say.

i want to preface this with saying that i haven’t read a lot of the devilgram stories in which i know there are a lot of background stories/character developments. so i can’t fully say that this is all based on in-game facts but rather a mix of that and a few conjectures i make from what i’ve read in the canon story line (plus maybe too much empathy on my side lol).

first and foremost, let’s point out the obvious - lucifer is the avatar of pride. i think a lot of his actions reflects that or, perhaps even more aptly, a lot of his actions stem from that. the pride he has i don’t believe is wrongly had. from what the rest of the characters have said, in the celestial realm, lucifer was heavily revered and incredibly admired. he commanded respect. he was beautiful. i think there’s an intense sense of pride and worth that comes with being put on such a pedestal. you have to also remember that he has not lost that even if he has fallen from grace. even by diavolo’s side, as his number 2 so to speak, he’s given an equal amount (if not more) of reverence.

but what is pride? in most cases (that being the more negative perspective), it is described as the most serious, most deadly of the seven sins. borrowing from the deadly sins wikipedia page, pride is often seen as dangerously corrupt selfishness, the putting of one’s own desires, urges, wants and whims before the welfare of other people.

and based on that definition alone, i really don’t see lucifer as being incredibly prideful. with lucifer, i’ve always understood it as being the other way around. he places a lot of importance on diavolo and his loyalty to him and sometimes it’s to the point of overexertion and overextension of himself. but, i think a lot of that actually is rooted in how important his brothers are to him. 

anyone can see just how much how he cares about them, i think, but that often doesn’t translate well into his words (bc his pride aha), especially when he’s in front of his brothers.

(side note: for me, one of the more memorable instances of when he does say something is that part in the storyline when he, mammon, levi and satan were transported into that game and he got real angry at in-game cerberus and threatened to do terrifying things to cerberus if even a finger was laid on satan lol).

rather, i think he much prefers showing them he cares through his actions but most of the time, that’s just seen as him being overbearing, overprotective and suffocating which is fair. i think this screencap sums up how he feels about his brothers quite well, especially to mc who is essentially an outsider to him early on in the game:

he respects their freedom to do as they wish but if anything ever threatens the peace he has tried to create for all of them, of course, he’s going to do something about it. 

i think in the end, for him, it boils down to power, control and facing the consequences of your own actions.

lucifer had been powerless. he had lost the war that he waged, had dragged his siblings down with him in the process, had lost his beloved sister because of it. he’d been powerless, again, when she was dying and he couldn’t do anything to save her. he had to depend on someone else, had to swallow up his pride and pledge his loyalty to this person. 

that’s why he works so hard, i think, to keep himself and his brothers in line because he is indebted to diavolo, because this is him showing his gratitude to diavolo for essentially saving him and his brothers, because he can’t afford to lose this life too. i think that’s why he does things that might seem dumb sometimes - because he’s afraid even another toe slightly out of line could mean another grave loss, one that he may not be able to recover from.

that’s where his controlling nature comes from too, i think. he’s had very little in the way of control before. he couldn’t save himself, his brothers or his sister, had no control over his own fate, had no control over anything, really, so this manifests in him wanting to control everything around him instead. in 6-6 (duty bound), he says this:

and i think this is a nice look into how he had been at one point. he had no choice. he couldn’t have what he wanted. no choice, no control. so now he has to make sure everything goes the way he wants because if it doesn’t, who knows what will happen to him but even more so to his brothers? 

it’s not like he’s doing all of this because he wants to but, rather, because he thinks he has to. though i suppose over the years, he might have developed something similar to a want for it. sometimes, i think he finds too much pleasure in ‘punishing’ his brothers but maybe that’s bc it’s the only way he knows to bond with them lol. but yeah, above all, i believe a lot of the things (though not everything) he does is with his brothers’ wellbeing in mind.

all of this i think is nicely summed up by, interestingly enough, diavolo himself in 6-12 (who’s the liar here?):

isn’t it interesting that diavolo brings it up? isn’t it? i think so 👀

and lastly, facing the consequences of one’s own actions. he had done things that he is, at this moment, still feeling the repercussions of. i think it’s something along the lines of your actions have consequences and this had been my consequence and i don’t want this to happen to you. that’s probably partly why he does what he does. 

another interesting thing to note: he’s prideful enough that sometimes, i think, he doesn’t see his wrongdoings. but other times, he recognises his errors and does try to rectify it (although this one in particular was a lousy apology imo lolol u tried to kill me and u want to make it up by taking me out for a meal? the audacity.)

but anyways, i think that’s all about i want to say here. this answer got wayyy too long lol. these are all, of course, just my opinion and may even be like biased and pulled out of my ass lol. maybe i’m giving him way too much credit lolol who knows? you’re free to disagree with me and completely write me off. i’m not about to tell people who you should like or dislike, and i’m not going to tell you that all his actions are justified either. i just want to try and frame his character in a way that may help people understand him better hehe. but yeah. that’s it. thank you for this ask again!!

[fizzingwizard]

LOL there just isn’t enough time in the day. Especially if you’re like me and have really crappy wifi that makes Tumblr unusable most nights... but anyway last week I was gone on the weekend and didn’t have time to recap epsiode 22, but since I didn’t like it much I thought I’d just do a quick snip about it at the beginning of my episode 23 review today. However... then I realized I have too many pictures I want to post x’D So I’m going to very belatedly review episode 22, but it’s mostly just to put screencaps up for posterity, lol. I liked episode 23 a lot better so I hope I have time to do that today as well!

Screencap of the episode:

I never can get enough of his determined face.

More below...

This episode is basically about Takeru being Cool.

Capped because Gabumon protecting Takeru <3

So yeah, basically Taichi, Yamato, and Takeru have entered Devimon’s hideout thanks to Eldradimon and are going after Angemon’s diig-egg. Smart? Probably not. Essential? Probably yes. Takeru is very clearly on a mission and if the other two didn’t escort him he’d just go in on his own. I really miss crybaby Takeru but... anyway.

Back in the human world, various tankers have had their controls scrambled and can’t move properly. They seem to be heading for collision. I’m trying to remember but this ep was a whole week ago guys that’s too far away hahaha

Many eyes are very creepy. Japan loves many eyes.

I don’t remember what was happening here. I think they were just being creepy and threatening.

Ooooh creepy creepy.

Taichi gives a PIERCING LOOK

Meanwhile in the real world... Sora messages Mimi and Jou to hurry to their rendezvous spot. I just liked that her icon is a flower arrangement <3

Mimi’s private chauffeur is slow as a molasses, so slow that Mimi is the one telling him which shortcuts to take x’D

Meanwhile Jou is impeded by a herd of clones on their way to the elevator. Bahaha. Animation budget, what animation budget?

At least these two are looking awesome.

Devimon brings out this stone we’ve seen a couple times before that seems to be a central locus of dark energy. He uses it to empower his minions as well as himself.

Now he uses it to evolve Skullnightmon to Darknightmon. Batman watch out he’s coming for your franchise.

Takeru is appropriately freaked.

Except, no he’s not, because his first impulse is to CLIMB UP DARKNIGHTMON’S LANCE. Which he immediately falls off of but it’s okay because...

... he’s chasing his dreams!

The ships start to get dangerously close! Oh noes! Like I wish there was more to say about what’s going on in the human world but there just isn’t much. They’re still just fighting Calmaramon and her goons.

I will never be over how loooong MetalGreymon’s arm gets this season

WereGarurumon protecting Yamato on his way to help Takeru :’< so sweet

LIKE TAKERU. ARE YOU OKAY. If 99 Takeru didn’t have a spine, 2020 Takeru doesn’t have A BRAIN. Lol

He does, fortunately, have a brother in both universes, which fills the deficit. Sweet brotherly love <3

Honestly the animation.... lol... that poor digi-egg.... hahaha.

The important thing is they catch it before it falls in the vat of evil.

Then Takeru and Yamato have a sweet moment in which Takeru says he saw his brother’s fight and wants to be just like him. It’s sweet, not to mention DESPERATELY NEEDED since Yamato’s been suspiciously chill about this whole baby bro was abducted by the enemy and is now in constant danger as long as he’s with us thing!

However it’s a very short moment. :/ I’m glad we got it of course but like do the writers of this show have something against characters having personal problems?

Whoops, while I was ranting Taichi got steamrollered.

WereGarurumon too. So, turns out, this entire episode was a WereGarurumon episode. As in he’s the central character. Lol. You can barely feel it before this moment. Last episode, it was Taichi/MetalGreymon fighting and sharing their bond and there was a dramatic moment of Taichi risking himself to save MetalGreymon and then giving a speech. This repowered MetalGreymon and gave him new weapons. This week, Yamato fighting to help his brother is what motivates WereGarurumon to overcome his injuries and also get new weapons, in the form of some kickass yet very random neo-wings.

I mean it’s cool, it’s just... he’s werewolf. But okay. This is Digimon after all x’D If MetalGreymon can fly then YEAH SURE WHY NOT WEREGARURUMON TOO IT MAKES JUST AS MUCH SENSE

I do find it annoying that it’s barely noticeable this is a Yamato/Gabumon episode until the last few moments. Too much time spent fighting, not enough talking. This show has no budget at all, that’s my currrent theory.

Oh no!! So this is actually interesting. Takeru falls and the egg briefly touches the pool of dark energy. It might mean nothing, because...

... WereGarurumon scoops them up and flies them to safety. So no harm no foul I guess. But... it’s possible that a little bit of darkness seeped into the egg in that moment. That’s just something I thought about, but it’s not exactly my theory - yet.

The egg immediately hatches!

Awww Poyomon! His voice is REALLY ANNOYING.

Cute but... please don’t least long Poyomon! Too annoying! Gah!

Devimon himself then appears because smashing small children and babies is his hobby.

We end with Takeru and Poyomon engaged in a “who’s cheek is the most soft and springy” contest.

Okay that’s enough of that! Like I said this episode was pretty dull. If I’d enjoyed it more I probably would have found time during the week to post a better recap, but it’s just more of the same fight we’ve been having for weeks now. You’d think a “save Takeru and help him save Angemon” storyline would be really interesting but it’s just not because no one talks. When’s the last time anyone had a conversation? Takeru’s one line to Yamato about wanting to be like him is the closest thing to it. Not sure what’s going on, I don’t think this is normal even for a kid’s show. Maybe budget, maybe coronavirus, maybe just lackluster writers... Idk. Some of this show I really really like! Other bits not so much. My current hope is this arc is an anomaly. The previous ones were more fun after all.

[ryuichirou]

What other animes are you interested in? :3

I mentioned what animes are my favourite in this post already, but I think I’ll elaborate a little bit about what I’m interested in 👀

Something that is on my mind right now (other than SnK of course) is Osomatsu-san. We loved the first season and rewatched it a bunch of times. I think the 3rd one is airing already?? This is why I started seeing it in my tl again.

I love the gags, the artstyle (I think it’s charming…), the characters, and Ichimatsu is my absolute darling. Osomatsu-san has a great cast of seiyuus, listening to them screaming and bickering and whining is fun too. I love how ruthless a lot of the jokes are and how self-aware the whole anime feels. Satire/parody/crude humor are very fun to me in general, this is why we also love Gintama and South Park. Oh and Hetalia lol

There is a lot of Osomatsu-san content (new seasons, a movie?? audiodramas too…) for us to watch and I’m excited about it. Right now I’m in a state between “oh, I remember it pretty well” and “wow, I don’t remember shit”…

We also tend to enjoy longer animes, like Hunter x Hunter, for example. I think it’s easier to dive deep into them because we often binge the episodes as we watch, and if the series is 12 episodes long… well, it’s over before you could even blink haha. Of course, we still watch shorter anime from time to time, but still, when we find something super long and super interesting to enjoy for some time, it’s like finding a treasure on some kind of an island. This is what happened when we finally watched HxH last year.

HxH is extremely precious to me. What I appreciate about it is how it kept surprising us and breaking the usual shounen tropes. Gon is great and a very enjoyable protagonist to watch, he is naive, but very stubborn and street-smart (forest-smart..?), and his moral is surprisingly not as black-and-white as one’d expect from a green anime boi. He can be surprisingly brutal lol The amount of times I went “omfg GON WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY-“ is, well, a lot.

And Killua… Killua Killua Killua :C I was sure I’d adore him when we just started watching HxH but his character development gutted me like a fish. I was expecting a lot of edge and sass, and what I got was a beautiful depiction of love and adoration of another person, loyalty and fear that all of it might end one day. Ok, I’m getting carried away AHEM- I think Killua and Levi are two of my absolute faves right now. They have a lot in common now that I think about it haha

Ugh I can gush over HxH for hours, let me just say that I love it very much, I’d love to revisit it one day and draw 2301848 sketches of every single character from it because the designs are amazing and their personalities are very fun to play around with. Also, Madhouse did a great job with the animation, pacing, directing and all that jazz.

What else… oh, EVANGELION. Once again, beautifully written characters is the most interesting aspect to me, but I just love thinking about Evangelion, to be honest. Like I mentioned, I love the story of its creation, the production, the lore, everything. I flip through screencaps from NGE a lot, I listen to songs from it a lot. I stare at my Kaworu figurine a lot…

I’m also very into Revolutionary Girl Utena but my adoration for it is a little bit pacified right now, I’m waiting until we rewatch it so I can refresh my memories about it. When it happens, my sanity will be gone forever I think lol

All of the titles I mentioned above are the ones we would discuss aggressively, buy merch aggressively, read all of the djs available aggressively, stuff like that. With passion.

We also rewatch something super old and obscure from time to time, like a couple of years ago Katsu was kind enough to want to rewatch Gravitation, and we ended up reading the entire manga afterwards. And I loved every second of it.

If we’re talking genres, well, we do love horrors as you probably have noticed, but I can’t remember anything in particular that would be a good horror anime. Not an anime that is “technically a horror” (like Hellsing and err Tokyo Ghoul ???????), but like a horror anime. There are some cool conceptual things (like Mononoke), but for getting a horror experience I’d rather read manga I think.

Satire and parody are fun; I’d say that it’s my personal favourite genre. A good thriller anime is always a huge Yes (like Monster), and I guess we generally tend to watch Seinen/Shounen, but now that I think about it, we don’t really look at the genres??? If it looks fun, we’re interested 👀

Oof sorry I’ve been talking for ages and it feels like I haven’t said anything interesting or useful, but here we are lol

[keepcopinghoe]

catch up pt.1

quick rundown of what’s been going on with me

ramo is the first guy that i’ve consistently and personally interacted with since about 2018 and definitely the first guy who actually around my age that i’ve formed a relatively close bond with. i think it’s for this reason that i’m so attached to him. he frequently described himself as an incel (ironically tho) and i think his last actually non-paid-for sexual relationship was back in 2017. so i stupidly assumed that i was the only girl in his life that he was actually close with and this delusion i think in many ways also is what build the foundation behind the inexplicable quasi-infatuation that i have now.

 on 06th june he told me about some girl that was part of his i***c*** discord which i already knew he was a part of since ages ago. i asked about her and he said she was from lithuania and that he was pissed off because some other guy was orbiting her which immediately set off alarm bells to me since there’s legit no reason to get pissy that someone else is orbiting a girl unless you like her yourself. he also said some shit to me which i think was unintentionally (or maybe intentionally?) hurtful, about how he could easily afford my prices and that i sell myself way below the market rate (both true but still). i think it’s both these things happening at the same time which particularly stung: ramo orbiting some e-girl who is involved in the same interests and hobbies to a greater extent than i am and also the emphasis that i’m a whore (and a cheap one at that) who no one would ever really consider as a serious dating prospect if they knew anything about my history.

i told him shortly after than i didn’t want to see him for a month or so, making up the excuse that it was because i was gonna be too busy. this is partially true cus i did initially have the plan to work every single day until the date of my breast augmentation/lift surgery which would be 25th june, earning like £700 a day in profit if i worked very hard. that didn’t quite come to fruition because there was some guy who booked with me that left a negative review on UKP which led to a fussilade of criticism from various users about me being a power-tripping time waster who frequently ghosted clients. this is kinda true except the power-tripping part; my timewasting is a direct result of substance abuse problems which is a direct result of whoring myself out to men that i often find unattractive. all in the preceding week (i met ramo on a sunday and this shit happened the following week).

two separate people passive aggressively threatened to send me another negative review over text, i have to provide a discounted rate to two of my regulars due to consistantly missing bookings, someone left me a negative review under my AW profile (which they did through sending a booking request that i didn’t confirm) saying that my service had declined massively over the last few months and that it was like ‘fucking a zombie’ and the final night of working on thursday (10/06), i saw this guy who has followed me under various aliases i’ve had in the past (jade/sana/etc.) and that i last meant at kingston premier inn in like june 2019. would have been a nice blast from the past in some respect but i made a stupid retarded decision to do coke with him - i then sniffed poppers which was retarded as well because poppers are a stimulant and speeds the heart up even further which i didn’t really know at the time. i then got super paranoid that i was gonna have a heart attack and kept telling the client in question to ensure that he call an ambulance if i collapsed, which i’m sure really got him in the mood. his name was james and i stupidly told him my real name. he couldn’t come and i felt like shit because i knew he didn’t enjoy himself - he told me in his mind that he had kind of ‘built’ the meeting up and i suppose it must have fallen massively short of his expectations. it is what it is.

i couldn’t sleep really at all due to the coke. i had several meetings arranged for the next day on friday with regulars all of which i cancelled. i just couldn’t continue on with the same routine of waking up in the morning feeling disgusting because i keep eating junk food delivery, doing an enema, getting drunk and just getting fucked until bedtime even though it was really good money.

i fucked around and went to chinatown on saturday evening and was feeling really happy and relieved about not having to work. i’ve figured that i can just make money after my surgeries and start again under a new profile where i don’t have any negative reviews attached to it and maybe rent out an actual apartment on a monthly basis, since it’d be cheaper than air BnB and i can set things up the way i want. i ate sweet and sour fish and egg fried rice, it was taste (ramo always says that lol).

idk what compelled me to do it but on 14th june, i looked through ramo’s likes on twitter. i think it was because i recalled seeing an obvious girl account in his likes previously - this is something i didn’t really think about at all previously but with the new information he had told me the sunday before, i ended up browsing her account which kind of led to a personal crisis. i found out fairly quickly that this girl was the same one he had referred to on discord (m** on discord, j**** on twitter) simply because there were screencaps on her media referring to the same discord and she was definitely from lithuania. i always assumed that women in these circles were lame and bland tradthots who lacked any kind of constitution beyond mindless pandering to irony poisoned scrotes and genuinely retarded wignats but i was suprised at how immediately endearing this girl appeared even to me, through the internet and as someone i have every reason to feel petty resentment towards.

her shitposts were funny and while she is edgy, she has an underlying sweet and kind disposition. her art is shit but cool in its own scrambled way. she’s also apparently only 16 so it’s understandable - i was a lot more cringe at her age and just as shit at art.

the feeling of inadequacy was overwhelming since in addition to being an actual whore, i’m super cringe, lame and normie compared to her. it made completely sense that ramo would orbit a girl like this and i’ve since completely re-evaluated my position and meaning in his life. it’s a good thing that my cope of feelings of intense inadequacy is to launch myself into a phase of hyper-productivity - i kept practicing drawing (apeing her in a way ig since i recently had kind of given up on drawing), fasting, reading, etc. to try and overcome how worthless and self-loathing i felt at being the unwitting basis of comparison to a young girl who was better than me in every conceivable manner. i even listened to msg 3.

i was in so much pain over this that i couldn’t listen to songs which reminded me of ramo (any i****c*** but specifically drug approved and also temptation) and when i did, i just felt anger at my position and a weird resentment towards him. worth mentioning than ramo had sent me a weird bootycall kind of text sometime before then which came across as really crash, so that made me feel even more devalued. 

this is already super long so i’m gonna follow up with a pt. 2 later or maybe edit.