#i just screenshotted this from one post btw theres more stuff

[desire-mona]

things abt dps i feel like we dont address enough (photos attached will be shit quality, i took screenshots from yt clips LMAO)

heavily ib @pencileraser1's post abt stuff he noticed n such

the fucking KIDS at welton. the CHILDREN. maybe its just me but i always find myself forgetting that welton isnt a highschool + there are in fact a lot more students than the ones we're focusing on. thats what makes welton so like. evil? to me? they start pushing these kids into a box EARLY.

related, i wouldve LOVED to see how(/if?) keating taught these kids, or rly any other class! he has other classes!!! i think!

ok. of course. neil is a smoker, we've touched on that. but charlie is too?? and he's the one who provides the cigs???? obviously the easy explanation is that he does it to be rebellious and stuff but also Is There Something Else. much to think abt. also wondering where he gets his cigs but thats not rly anything i dont think.

this ones just funny but when mr perry tells the boys they can take a seat and todd simply does not. i KNOW he wasnt sitting before and he needs to unpack and stuff but ITS STILL FUNNY.

"take your seats boys"

"🧍"

also my guilty pleasure is the dps but its todd being anxious video bc man usually crack videos arent my jam but unfortunately i find it so funny

also!!! neil calling his dad sir. obviously its something so glaringly obvious that we dont need to have a discussion abt how theres a disconnect between them. like wow rly thanks mona i didnt know. but come on!!! it makes me sad!!! also they shake hands later in this scene and its the most affectionate/ friendly we see these two get. and its a handshake. and i think what makes it worse is that neil is a SUPER physically affectionate person with his friends. if u watch the movie and pay attention to how often he's touching someone else then ur gonna be like man. he rly was jumping at every opportunity huh.

something about the way neil and the boys act around mr perry makes me view him as more of a drill sargent than anything. everyone immediately stands upon him entering the room. they dont sit until given permission. it rly puts the whole military school thing into perspective but NOT ENOUGH TO SATISFY ME. as much as i hate mr perry, i wanna know what his life was like growing up. this man lived thru the great depression AND wwii, theres stories.

cam's stupid fucking face when keatings behind him larping ghosts. i will never stop talking about how sassy this kid is. the dps redheads go criminally unacknowledged in terms of comedy because OH MY GOD. CAM AND MEEKS WERE SO FUCKING FUNNY??? they both pulled the most dastardly judgemental looks and they make me cackle. a bit earlier in this scene meeks goes full 🙄🤨 on sniffles (tissue kid. i call him sniffles) and it is, without exaggeration, my fav part of the movie.

the fact that i totally thought knox was gonna fall off his bike and eat shit in this scene. it would be so out of place since dps isn't exactly full of physical comedy but GOD i still fully anticipated it. either that or him getting attacked by a bird. theres totally symbolism surrounding birds in this movie btw and idk what to make of it. if any of u lovely ppl have a theory then lmk immediately.

keating so accurately calling cam out being like "is this right is this right. am i walking right." BC YESSS. i will eventually make a fully fledged cam post but to briefly touch on it, i find cam to be very confused on what is right, usually in terms of morals. a whole situation of confusing your personal values with the rules, thinking theyre one in the same, and completely abandoning what u actually believe. unfortunately i think neils death rly amplified that nd is what led him to tattle. cuz cam is still willing to break the rules in the beginning of the movie!! he's outwardly judgemental but he still does it!! much to discuss, i promise i will eventually.

keatings face after todd yawps!!! theres not much to say here he is just so proud!!! sweet little moment!!!! keatpostin!!!!!!!!

YOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

u guys know im an avid knox hater but this made me giggle. rip knox overstreet u wouldve loved twitch streaming.

THE SPECIFICS OF THIS SHOT. i was gonna make a post a while ago being like "idk i find it funny that the main focus of this shot isnt even one of the poets" and then i realised that WAITTTTTTT THATS THE POINT!!!! keating reached kids besides the poets!!! u didnt have to be in the dead poets society to be affected by the way he taught his classes!!! u just had to be his student!!!!! also i love the fact that the kids who stayed seated r ASHAMED. EMBARRASSED.

the ending shot. oihghgghgg. it was SUCH a choice to set it up this way and honestly i adore peter for making it. this shot is SOOOO UNCOMFORTABLE TO LOOK AT and i love it. when i first watched this i was like "uhm ok interesting choice putting todd between this kids legs but I GET IT. one of the biggest things i remember from the film classes i took is that the way u set up shots is sooo important narratively, and one way to rly push the narrative is the space around a character in a shot. for example! if u have a character on screen surrounded by a TON of negative space then it rly emphasises how alone/ isolated they are. on the other end of the spectrum (the todd spectrum), if you surround a character in a shot with other objects or obstructions, like todd and this kids legs, then it rly emphasises how trapped and confined they are. looking at this makes me feel like. claustrophobic almost, like it's genuinely a bit harder to breathe looking at it. TODD IS STILL TRAPPED IN THAT SCHOOL. YES HE STOOD ON THE DESK AND YES HE NOW HAS THE MOTIVATION TO BE MORE CONFIDENT BC OF NEIL BUT HE! IS STILL! TRAPPED THERE!

more on todd since im on a roll here.

i was also gonna add that we dont rly talk about todd personality wise outside of poetry and anxiety but then i realised, what else is there? we dont really see much about him as a person outside of that, and i think thats the point! todd is constantly overshadowed by his brother, we know that, but i dont think we realise HOW MUCH that ties in with his entire character. quite honestly, outside of poetry and anxiety, ALL we have surrounding todd is his brother and his achievements. and of course! that makes sense! his parents want him to be just like his brother, they dont care about who he is as a person. UGH.

the desk set scene rly is the most insight we'll get into todds actual personality and desires imo, and thats what kills me. he wants a car!!!! get this boy a car!!!!!!!!! we rly see him start to open up before neils death and i wouldve LOVED to get to know todd when he's actually in a place to be himself!! but of course we never got that! sobs.

anywho. thats all i have for now. PLEASE share ur thoughts if u have any pls pls pls. encouraging discussion!! i love love love hearing about the specifics nd stuff, theres soooo much to pick apart abt this movie so i wanna hear everyones thoughts.

[youredreamingofroo]

📩 Simblr question of the day: What are some of your favorite behind-the-scene screenshots? I'm throwing this out to gameplayers, storytellers, renderers and the like :)

thank you anon!! 🫶🫶

this question is from the @simblr-question-of-the-day blog, check em out if you haven't :)

I'm gonna throw in mostly blender (and GIMP) BTS screenshots cuz i dont really have anymore BTS screenshots from sims 4 LMAO (I also ended up throwing outtakes in at the end :))

putting them under the cut cuz theres A LOT 😭

the full body (and prototype) pose of the Nirvana x Vanella post

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"you got any games on yo phone"

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A wip that i never finished,,, but nirvana being hot and seggsy as always (I wish i was that skeleton...)

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I learned how to do text in blender for the first time

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If you ever wanted to know what the BTS for that last scene in the Wake up Roo post looked like, here you go LMAOO

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not much to say about this one, i think it speaks for itself

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whenever I'm doing stuff on GIMP that involves layer modes, I like to go thru pretty much every single mode to see what looks good and sometimes i get fucking flashbanged 😐 (i also usually edit in the dark... so its literally like a flashbang for me)

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And for funsies, here's some outtakes that I rendered and may have edited that I never shared :D

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if you remember my international womens day post, there was this scene, and while it looks similar, this one is actually darker and is supposed to focus more on Nanel's hand placement :) I didnt go with it cuz iirc it didnt look right next to the other panels, but it is very pretty!

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From my emotions/feelings post, this was gonna be the one I used for Roo, but because of the lighting it looks like his mouth is open and not him just showing his teeth in frustration (which was the intent), so I changed it to be closed

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I think you can instantly see something is off with Kyneva's eyes... 😭😭 The lighting made her eyelashes look weird so I had to adjust the lighting to be more central (lots of lighting issues with these panels...)

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So like the others, the lighting was just too dark and I had to add a brighter light 🙃

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As an introduction of the "story" name for Roo and Leo, I was gonna do a post (which is why I learned to make text in blender) where Roo talks about the significance of the word "Hiraeth" in his life, which is that uhhh he learned Hiraeth from Leo lmao. But now he feels "Hiraeth" for Leo essentially. I still like the idea but for some reason I just haven't vibed with the scene and just haven't been motivated to go back and make that scene now esp. since I've introduced the story name now

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I was gonna do a short sequence in the Obsession Desperation post where Leo checks his phone and sees the notifs of Roo texting him, but figured it didn't fit the rest of the post and veto'd it :) But I'm planning/thinking of doing a post where it's Leo's POV/Side-of-things

- -

OKAYY finally the last one LMAOO This one i've shared before and is still an outtake, but i just love it so much I wish i could just shove it into peoples faces like its a cake. Only reason I didnt use this is bc I didn't have any dialogue that fit this panel and it didnt really fit in with the rest of the panels (this was for the Inner Child post btw), maybe I'll use it in a diff post one day <:P

[grimmgrinningghouls]

Ugh I'm annoyed at paleoblr again sorry I have to bitch.

"arks bad because its the first google search result when u look up a dinosaur"

Okay well first of all hows that the game itselfs fault?? Like. the devs have zero control over that thats all google. And second of all thats barely even true!! I went ahead and googled some dinosaurs and here are the top results for those, and by top results I mean what appears when you first look at it WITHOUT scrolling.

Tell me. Wheres the ark dino. Where is it. Where are they where are these ark dinos you bitch and moan about CONSTANTLY. I'm not saying this is the case for every single dino in ark theres like 100's of them so I'm not going to google them all and provide a post with like a mile of screenshots.

and if your talking about the wiki or something being the first to pop up. Where. I actually had to go to page two to find the ark wiki for some of them.

"Little kids are being influenced by ark!!"

And? They're little kids. They are no more influenced by ark then they are jurrassic park/world or dinosaur toys. I can't really talk on the nintendo switch dino discoveries game as I haven't actually played it, dino discoveries is the only informational part of ark, and I am not going to pretend I know anything about that.

But are you seriously telling me you're getting upset at children not having accurate dinosaurs? at children being influenced by a popular piece of dinosaur media?? Dude. Chill.

"but people are treating it as a scientific resource!!"

Literally who is doing that. Anyone who does that probably puts their left shoe on their right foot. I extremely active within the ark community, as in extremely, and I have been since the game came out. I have talked to hundreds, possibly even thousands, of different people about dinosaurs on ark now and NOBODY. not a SINGLE person has ever claimed they thought ark was scientific.

Honestly most of us are well aware the arks deeply inaccurate. Its actually mentioned in game several times, most people don't stop to read the notes but one glance at them and the person whos writing them (a paleontologist btw) mentions that all the dinosaurs are wrong and will talk about the sizes being off or other things like that.

"Well they can't just say its not meant to be accurate and call it fine"

Yeah they can actually. Again, most ark players are at least aware of the games many issues and inaccuracies, its something that is regularly discussed amongst the fanartists and lore buffs actually. The most common people who are misinformed by ark are literal children. Get off your fucking high horse.

Honestly most of the stuff I see people bitching about isn't even arks fault. A lot of it is people ripping the models from the game and using them elsewhere, such as when a (very bad) dinosaur documentary stole arks models and used them to spread misinformation. This was not the fault of ark or wildcard, its not their fault other people take their assets and use them in improper ways. I'm fairly certain that if they can they send cease and desist letters to these people anyways.

[averys-happy-space]

club penguin rambles

there are a LOT of images bc the post is abt cp outfits. but also a ton of text bc i talk way too much. also I POSTED THIS ON THE WRONG ACC. I POSTED IT ON MY THEME TESTING BLOG BY ACCIDENT SO I HAD TO REPOST THIS. its the 11pm brain fog getting to me

okay so club penguin released a new clothing catalogue for november and here's my hippie fall outfit i came up with. it's designed around the sweater bc i thought the sweater was super cute but there wasn't any other hand item except guitar that really matched with the outfit. and like yes i could have it without the guitar (which i did do to take the 2nd pic) but i wanna equip a hand item!!! which sounds really stupid bc it is stupid but i'm picky and idc. the sweater IS adorable tho like look at it, its got little puffles on it and shit!!!! fucking adorable!!! and the colour is so pretty and nice too :3c i would buy that sweater if it existed irl. also look at the cool ass ghost puffle!!! their name is goober LMAO i dont rmb why i named them that. i think i was thinking like goofy goober but i already have an orange puffle named goofy ah so i guess thats why i just named this ghost puffle goober? genuinely i have no fucking clue. but i'm gonna keep them around cuz they look dope as fuck and also they match my penguins purple skin colour which i think is neat.

other outfits

since i am making a post abt cp outfits i also decided to add my previous outfits (that i have screenshots of) to this post too just to archive them so i can come back in 10 yrs and be like wow 16 yr old me had horrible fashion taste. (i hope tumblr is still around in 10 yrs. i mean, its lasted 15 yrs, so like whats another 10 right?)

for context:

the first one is one of my earliest outfits which i made with help & advice from moose bc i suck at fashion (thank u moose). i think it looks cool, tho there wasnt like a theme or anything that i was going for. i just liked the hair + jacket and wanted to make an outfit with it lol

the pizza one is from the pizza party event. do not ask me why they had a pizza party event. i have no idea. anyway it was really stupid but fun and i suck at the pizzatron 3000 minigame. i wanted to use a mouse for it but my mom took my mouse when she took my gaming pc so i had to use mac trackpad to play and boy it was Not good. also i gave my puffle jellybean a sombrero which i know is mexican and pizzas are from italy but i didnt know what else to give him!!! plus he looks really stupid cuz the sombrero is massive which i think is cute. oh yea, also i met rookie during the pizza party and i wanted to equip his background but my penguin covers half of rookies body and it didnt look good so i ended up going for this bg instead. its kinda lame but whatever, i still got to meet rookie and thats all that matters <3 (btw, for context, theres lots of npc mascots in the game and every so often they "come online" (its just a bot walking around really) and if u join the same area as them, u get a stamp + bg gift. i met rookie & jetpack guy during the pizza party and got their stamps and gifts but i love rookie more lol, hence why i wanted to use his bg. its too sad it didnt fit nicely bc i think its a p cool bg but oh well)

the bottom two are just variations of each other. basically for the sept or oct catalogue (i forgot which), the cp team added a bunch of punk stuff and i bought all of it bc it actually looked dope as hell. the one on the left came first but i didnt rlly vibe w the hair which is why i ended up changing it. also, the wings are a neck item which is why the first outfit doesn't have the dog tags even tho i wanted them. couldn't have both ): anyway, the second one came about after i got to meet cadence during the music party and i LOVE cadence (i had a massive crush on her when i was younger. like literally shes so pretty?!!) so i got rid of the raven wings so u can see her face in the bg. i can't lie i do think the bg is a bit lame bc its completely empty on the right which makes it feel kinda unbalanced, also u can see i have the cadence signature pin equipped. u can't change the positioning of the pin which sucks bc i would've put it on the right if i could but oh well. and yea i added the dog tags since no more wings. i accidentally clicked jellybean before taking this pic so it sent him home LMAOOO and i couldnt be bothered to get him back at the time so thats why hes missing from the pic. overall i think this outfit is def my favourite, the vibes are just so good. i love punk. oh and also the vampire teeth are bc the catalogue was mainly a halloween theme and well, they looked cool lol

for the record, jellybean is my favourite puffle hence why hes in all these pics. idk why but i just love white puffles, theyre so adorable and smiley despite being shy. also white puffles are slightly smaller than all other puffles which makes them 10x cuter. but i'm gonna keep goober around for a while just cuz they look cool as fuck. but i'll prob switch over back to jellybean when its closer to xmas. anyway its now 1120pm (i spent like half an hour writing this) so im going to sleep. goodnight

[lavanda-celeste]

hi ya buncha freaks how's hell going

sorry sorry ill stop being rude to yall now I was just in a really bad place mentally when I made all previous visible posts

I see that a lot of you sticked around even after my account fell apart, thanks for that (even if some people probably jus forgot they were following me lmao) so uhh I'll keep you updated from time to time

(info under cut)

again, as I said before, I'd rather wait until the uh, "founder" (aka foot glove with a clip on it lmao) hits 18 and maybe makes an announcement about allowing nsfw (probably not tho) but don't worry in case theres no announcement or she just says no I'm planning to make ocs based on Wh1tty and Upd1k3 that like, aren't straight rip offs but still have the same vibe if U know what I mean

another thing is that I've definitely decided that if I start drawing again I'll just post to Aryion and no where else, sorry tumblr-only folks, but I've been advised to gatekeep my stuff a little more so dumb kiddos don't come snooping around, and also back when I got into trouble some people reacted to screenshots of my art like I committed murder and gave birth to the antichrist or something (which btw were screenshots of the Endo version of the Wh1tty X Cotoni comic, which is pretty much one of the tamest things you can find on this whole community??? idk man, frickin kinkshamers)

so like, if I stay confined to aryion, not only the site is explicitly said to be 18+ when you enter, but also like, if someone enters there and gets disgusted, it's not my issue man like aryion is literally the v*re website why would you enter it if you don't like it LMAOO (sadly I checked and Aryion art does show up on Google images and there's no way to get your art outta there, oh well, at least it seems safesearch blurs most of it)

Last thing for now I hope is that uh, if you see that my opinions seem to swing or not stay consistent, that's Cuz uhhhh I don't own the brain I'm in LMAO, look I don't wanna falsely claim we've got one of those rare Dissociative Identity disorder stuffs but we definitely got something going on alright

so um using a term from that area because I lack better terms, I'm not the "host" but at least I'm in good terms w them (again), now the issue is their right hand supervisor lady fucking hates my guts man. she won't let me cook in peace fr fr, she even made on us that nasty bloody "tattoo" mentioned in the comments of one of my previous posts, rn I'm writing this very late at night since she doesn't seem to be very aware at these hours lol. it's jus that back in around december-january she fucking beat the shitttt outta me for getting us all into trouble, rn tho things more or less chill but again I'm not really allowed to do much still, jus waiting to see when it's appropriate for me to return to cooking the good shite

oh I might have to change my artstyle to avoid (or at least lessen the probability of) any potential connection to the "host"'s account, yea it's gonna suck having to develop a new one

so yea see ya uhh later in the year in a few months probably, remember to stay sane and do not lower ur standards when consuming v*re content (haha consume lmao)

[m0e-ru]

HAPPY HOLIDAY S !!!! here are the answers to my moel activity book 2022 aka my birthday quiz but theres also a bunch of lore questions in there. part 1 !!!!!!! with the more personal stuff because i hit the image limit so theres part 2 hehe. here <-

YOU CAN ANSWER IT HERE FIRST !!! or read this and see how bullshit my logic is from the get go SORRY

Results

tourist - this was meant to be the lowest scoring result like you dont know much about me or lore like what it says !! you pass by my blog just occasionally like from a tag or a reblog. like a tourist at a gas station. yknow? but the way I scored was like you get bigger penalties when you pick a wrong answer whoopsie (●>ω<)ﾉﾞ

beloved okyakusan - okyakusan means customer I just think you might follow this blog or know enough of it to get some answers right but the way I scored it I dont think. anyone would get this. yikes

loyalty discount - you know more than enough of my shit on any branch I might have been in . YEAH !! you know a lot. I hope. or I scored it bad. BUT ANYWAY !!! loyalty discount realness

oh youre in this hole with me? - this was supposed to be hard to get especially with the more bullshit personal questions sorry. but I think you could get this easily while I’m looking at it whole. welcome to my hole. my friends call it a mineshaft or another said it was a lake from digging up a puddle.

Questions

mega blorboism go - mim, adachi, marie, teddie, souji seta, (bonus) akc [akechi]

OKAY !! first 4 self explanatory. Souji vs Narukami I like Souji more from his depiction in the official manga by Sogabe than the more official Narukami from the animes, spinoffs, etc.

well yeah okay I admit I was a goroboy back in sweet 2017 too bad I only made noise in the fandom in 2020 when Royal came out and GOLDEN had the audacity to show its ass in Steam. my highest note post is this dumb aksh comic btw. I thought nothing of it.

I didn’t include maruki he’s a nice guy but he never hit blorbo category I mean he’s there. hi sensei

What’s their ultra mega favorite p4 adaptation - VISUALIVE STAGEPLAY !!!

the audio drama and manga bags some points too. I’m OBSESSED with visual voiceless media and visualess voiceful media but if you try to wrap my brain with the shitty anime I might throw up

yeah yeah the animes were fine im just more partial to those three yknow. they’re a bit liberal as broadcast media so uhm… the way they handled a few details weren’t for me. BUT WE HAVE AIKA CHAN it’s fine. I dont like anthologies though now that’s just a ball out of the park.

thoughts on tohru adachi - []

these all bag points but the discord screenshot gives the biggest penalty. it’s funnier that way. thank you tekuya. context on the messenger one was that I was partially live-blogging to another friend while I played. IM SORRY !!! I was really interested if he had a social link or not. I did not know of the Horrors. <- only knew he was a bit of an edgy bad guy from the floating fanart and lack of blacklisted spoiler tags but it’s 2022 im built different. I want to put him under a magnifying glass and if he makes me mad I concentrate the light on him till he combusts.

kai moeru is a silly - []

three of these have points except you get bonus points if you choose either of the kpop fan names because it’s fun.

when did they take over the gas station - they dont remember either

september 2022 also gets points because that’s when I think I started roleplaying as a manager.

OKAY strap in here’s some kai moeru lore. I used to subtly role play as just some guy who’s at the gas station too often for their own good. they dont even have a car they just talk to whoever also passes by with their silly conspiracy boards, red string etc etc. then at some point I became the manager of the tumblr branch and that was that! I have discounts and vouchers and promos and etc I think it’s fun that way. im the ceo of moel gas corp on discord btw

when did it all end - “Ohh Mimi”

I mean this is when I started playing the game on my own and had a little too much thoughts about this dumb fucking npc. me and my dad started calling them mimi when we finished the game <- we were playing at the same time he finished first but I blocked out all the spoilers and had my own peaceful endgame. I give you a nickname and it’s ALL OVER !!!!!

or are you really so spineless that youd fold over some bullshit trivial threat on my life sorry for the royal question - small potatoes

like I said. bought royal on launch and finished it in two weeks where “small potatoes” was still there before it got patched out HAHA. i just thought it was silly. people were making essays about the expression then BAM. no more small potatoes.

whos the adachi of p5s (ROYAL + STRIKERS SPOILERS) - ichinose

okay I really liked her when I was playing OKAY? actually I dont think I’ve ever posted my doodle dumps ever but I always thought she had something to do with Sophia and EMMA and the formula making it look like she’d betray you or work with god at some point. SHE FUCKING DID it was so so fucking funny <- cried after the boss fight

i mean i did this. because it's ridiculous

what’s the first nickname they used - mimi

I did mention it before. I just think it’s really cute how it ended up being a household name for me. ive printed them out so many times, framed them and talk about them with that nickname at home that that’s how my siblings know them. it’s a very special name to me honestly. Time went by and I ended up calling them mim. hehe. not that I dont like Nami as a name it’s just that /gestures hands/ yeah

The whole Izumi Izanami thing is just that! Most of my devices’ autocorrects kept turning one word into the other I also ended up calling him zoomy instead and used one (1) “z” for Izy.

rie kugimiya - why are you pitting two bad bitches against each other

she’s the voice actor for both Rise and Haruka and I like them both !!!! You should listen to konnan janai

which emote is not part of the gas station discord server - nodding naoto

Now that one was from the Persona modding discord I think. I do have mim and Nagi rotating and the Adachi True was from a friend who also added Adachi False

[buttterknifeee]

I posted 192 times in 2021

134 posts created (70%)

58 posts reblogged (30%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 0.4 posts.

I added 373 tags in 2021

#tim drake - 50 posts

#batman - 48 posts

#dc comics - 41 posts

#batfam - 41 posts

#dick grayson - 41 posts

#robin - 38 posts

#dc headcanon - 32 posts

#dc universe - 28 posts

#headcanon - 27 posts

#bat man - 27 posts

Longest Tag: 70 characters

#literally writing this because i want relatable asian rep in dc so bad

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

HC that tim and damians sibling relationship is more like death threats to deciding what to eat for dinner in the span of one conversation.

"I hate you so much i hope you die in your sleep"

"Well at least when I'm dead i don't have to see your ugly face"

"ugh I'm kinda hungry tho"

"hey theres this pizza place that just opened up"

"sounds good we should go"

333 notes • Posted 2021-06-04 05:53:31 GMT

#4

When u make fake batfam social media screenshots normalize everyone else having popular/verified accounts and stuff and jason posting from a different burner account each week. (because he’s, yk, legally dead)

He has like 500 accounts that are like “user 34829759838″ with no pfp. And all the batkids interact with all of his accounts like its normal and everyone outside the family are confused af

446 notes • Posted 2021-04-19 06:45:10 GMT

#3

dc give dick grayson a helmet challenge man has been through too many head related injuries/deaths

501 notes • Posted 2021-05-03 05:20:46 GMT

#2

Happy birthday to that tim guy I've had a hyperfixtation on for the past 4 months. I hope they finally make you an adult and give you a mullet again.

Yes this is my art no reposts or u will suffer

871 notes • Posted 2021-07-19 15:22:30 GMT

#1

I roast you based on which batboy you have a crush on

this is all joke btw pls dont murder me in my sleep

Bruce:

you’re either a millenial or you’re into dilfs

you think you’re the therapist friend

you think you’d be the “cool mom” when you get kids

But you’re the wine aunt

or you said you liked bruce unironically but now you actually like him

Dick

touch starved

you’ve never met a “nice guy” who was actually nice and you want that in a relationship

you’re sad right now i can feel it

I dont think you like reading

Jason

you see your first mistake was having a crush on someone with a j name-

please lower your voice 

To sum it up people who crush on jason remind me of this ex friend named Sophia who gave me trauma

no i will not elaborate

You like to focus on the fact that people say jason likes poetry not the part where he kills people often

Tim

you’ve never met a guy who is equal/ greater than you in terms of intelligence and wasnt a dick about it

hopeless romantic but has never had a boyfriend

you probably also like timothee chalamet or other white boys of the month

You might need to see a therapist idk

Damian

How are your grades?

you probably are a daminette enthusiast because you project onto marinette LMAO 

Why do you fall for guys who don’t care about you

get off of minecraft and get your life together

enfp

Duke

Im cutting you guys some slack bc there’s NO duke content ever

youre either a middle child or lonely tho

Alfred

god fears you

1623 notes • Posted 2021-04-11 07:35:15 GMT

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[masterhandss]

‘My Next Life as A Villainess’ Anime is over...

SO WHAT NOW???

A lot of us are disappointed that Katarina’s adventures are finally over, and a lot of us are gonna miss watching the wacky hi-jinks of our dense villainess. I’ve seen a lot of people say that they will stop posting or paying attention to hamefura after the anime ends, and while I might be the same to some extent, I just want to say that there are still a lot of hamefura things to look forward to after the anime ends!

These are actually some very obvious things to look forward to, but you know I’d still like to share them so you can use them to fill the hole in your heart that the anime left behind.

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Edit: (9/30/20) I added stuff, as well as a cut for all yall who says my posts are too long qwq

The Manga

Hamefura still has an on-going manga that is currently in Chapter 3 of the Light Novels! A lot of you already read it, and understand that it can get frustrating when there’s a lack of updates on the english side of things, but if you’re really curious, you can go over and check out the JP releases every month so you can have an idea of whats to come for the manga :DD (The fan translation of ENG Chapter 26 came out a few days ago so you know it’s not dead!!)

I’d recommend reading the english translation on Mangadex, since most translation groups officially upload their translation on there. 

The Spin-off (Hametsuo/Bakarina Alter)

It deserves it’s own category for just how unique it is in terms of its reception in the western crowd. I know a lot of people probably read it, but I guess people barely talk about because it’s not really that far into it’s premise yet. 

I just can’t stop recommending this manga to people (despite not going where I thought it’d be) because of how good the art-style is and how much promise it has. It updates monthly, which I know is a long wait, but it does pay off when you see the quality of everything. Plus it’s just fun to imagine how hamefura would go if it followed the typical “villainess otome isekai” format.

I actually love talking about hametsuo, so maybe my posts are woth the look ;; w ;;

The Light Novels

credits to @sparckle-art​ for the scans!

I’m happy to read that a lot of people are gonna go switch and buy the light novels after the anime ends! By the time the anime ends, the Vol. 6 of the LN would release a week later, acting kind of like a replacement of what is supposed to be a new episode for that week.

The fan-translated version of the web novel is available online, up until half of Vol. 4, but I still recommend buying the books on bookwalker (i don’t know if the sale is still there, but I’d recommend picking up the book regardless!). If reading the fan translation piqued your interest, then playing for the books would definitely worth your money if you ask me! 

An increase of sales might show them that there’s interest for this light novel, and might make them translate the JP novels even faster! (or maybe i’m just too impatient to wait 2-3 months for Volume 7 dshfjsfgs who knows?)

My only warning is that the tone really does shift post-arc 1 (Fortune Lover I) so if you’re looking for harem hijinks, from spoilers I’ve seen I think there would less of that and more of world building. (ps. please stop asking me where to read it ;;-;;)

Edit: Volume 8 is coming out in a few months, with Volume 9 probably being released at either Jan or Feb next year, then after that it’ll be a yearly update

StoryMe Otome Game

credit to the hamefura reddit discord for the screenshots!

I’m surprised a lot of people doesn’t know about the StoryMe game, despite it updating every week alongside the anime. Just kidding I didn’t either lol, I actually found about this thanks to the hamefura reddit discord server! StoryMe is a choose-your-own-adventure otome game, kind of like those “Episodes” or “Chapters” game that gets recommended on Youtube a lot. 

It’s still in japanese, which is probably why not a lot of people knows of it yet, but it seems like you can play as Katarina and romance anyone from the entire harem (yes, the girls too), so keep you eyes peeled for if ever it gets an english translation!

It’s basically the bluray Fortune Lover game with the DVDs, but instead of Maria, you actually get to play as Katarina!

(I’ll make a separate post for this later, maybe)

Edit: The game just came out in English in September 16, and just spat out a 11-episode update at September 30

tldr: go play it, it has 19 episodes out right now

Katarina’s Farm

It’s a newly announced mobile game with a web trial version that centers around playing as Katarina, trying to earn money and points for expanding your farm land, planting more expensive plants and getting the other members of the harem to join you! It’s a 2D pixel game that seems like it wouldnt take too much time to play (you can get the first 4 characters within 30 minutes of gameplay, but that might be adjusted in the mobile version) so I understand if it might not interest some people, but that’s still something to look forward to!

I made another post about it so check out the link to the web version here!

The Bluray Otome Game

While I can’t say this for certain, but maybe if there was ever an official english bluray release, it might include the Fortune Lover Male Capture Target Routes that are included in the game. Maybe someone will play it and translate it even! It would interesting to see how different the boys are, and give us further appreciation for Katarina’s influence and changes!

There’s a preview for a CG in Keith’s Route, which comes with the second bluray (no pv for Geordo ;; w ;;)

Edit: All the boy’s routes are out in Japanese

We don’t know if they’ll ever be released in English though, so hopefully someone translates them at least ;;w;;

The Manga and Yuri Anthology

Missing the hilarious and heartwarming antics of Katarina and her harem? Then you should check out the Manga Anthology (that has just been been translated in its entirety). It’s 14 chapters of absolute hilarity!

There’s also a Yuri Anthology, featuring the 4 girls of the harem! If you’re looking for more of that then, it’s an absolute recommendation!

Spin-off Visual Novel

Edit: They recently just announced a spinoff visual novel! It takes place after the Fortune Lover 1 Arc and features sexy pirates hgsjhgsdf

It’s just recently announced so there’s not a lot of info besides the company making it (it’s Otomate) and the fact that it’s gonna be an all new Bakarina adventure uwu

Bakarina Radio

I heard there’s a Bakarina Radio too, featurning the VAs of the anime cast. 

I don’t know if its a regular thing or a one time thing, but its still worth checkin out!

https//twitter.com/hamehura/status/1309831738525278209

The Second Season of the Anime

I seriously wasn’t expecting another season, considering how different the next arc is, but I’m happy nonetheless for more Bakarina! I hope this motivates the fans to continue supporting the series, as a bigger reaction will definitely lead to more content for us to enjoy! I have a theory about S2, which I think is worth the read :3c

Other Otome Isekais

There’s a lot of other Villainess Otome Isekai’s that are worth the read, and a lot of them as just as interesting as hamefura, despite the lack of a harem (from deep rooted revenge to hilarious and crazy villainess, there’s a lot!) The quickest recommendation I can give is just looking up “Akuyaku” and “Villainess” on Mangadex (do both btw they dont have the same results), but theres a lot that doesn’t get recommended so do your research! I swear it’s worth your time!

Anyways, I hope any of these fill the hole that the hamefura anime will leave in our hearts as we wait for season 2! (sorry for repeating the same line again hdsfgdjhsfg) Feel free to add anything like fanfic recommendations and artists, as I can’t cover everything on my own, as those really help provide hamefura fans with content :DD

[bokuroaka]

hi! can i ask how u made ur carrd like what are the settings? ty!

omg YES i love carrd making hi anon. if there’s anything specific u want just lmk!! under the cut bc its long... i make most of my carrds on desktop so this is very desktop based.... to all of u who do ur carrds on mobile honestly kudos i cld never

uhm also when i say long like this is v long bc i added a lot of reasoning to my settings n tips that i’ve picked up on making carrds (plus the screenshots) i hope it helps tho ^_^ apologies if u knew most of this stuff tho bc i explained... everything...

some notes before we get in: for colors i usually just base everything off the sidebar image and use a color picking website (i use this one) to get the the html codes for colors. the site i use also generates a palette which i also use! ur free to use anything tho obv. the font i used is “inter” 

1. ok first here are my page settings! i wont include my animation settings now ill leave that to the end.. these r rlly the only settings that i’ve changed so i’ll just post these.

ok i dont rlly change much except for these two, the position is set to top not center (which is the default) b/c esp w carrds like the one i have now i dont like the header portion moving depending on the height of the container underneath... does that make sense? that’s just super nitpicky of me LOL but if u do end up making the carrd n playing around w the settings u’ll see what i mean

the width is set to 22 bc i like small carrds! play around w this as u see fit, i also change it depending on how it looks like in mobile (im very thorough lol) if ur wondering how u can do that on desktop, its this phone looking icon on this bar on the top right of the screen: (the 6th icon!)

the next pic is also default settings except my spacing is set to 0. i’ll explain why later! the alignment also doesnt really matter w/ this carrd. u can play around with it tho!

2. this is for the home page!

first i’ll explain how this is set up: the title box and the box under it (i’ll call it info box) are both containers! here is why i put set the spacing to 0 earlier: if u put 2 containers theres going to be space btwn them and to achieve this kind of look (ig) i just set the page spacing (in the page settings) to 0. however this means that everything is going to be pressed up against each other so i usually just add dividers (which are transparent [color code is #96969600]) i wont post a screenshot bc the settings r default, except for the margins which u can play around with to see what works for u (it’s set to 0.375 for me rn)

here are my settings for the title box 

most of these r pretty standard except for the padding and border. the reason why i didnt tick the bottom part is bc of the container w all my info underneath. both containers have borders so the bottom & top border of those containers wld just merge n create a thicker border which isnt what i was looking for... anyway.

then i just add a text element & just write my title! idt my settings for that r relevant so i wont add it (the text size is 0.875)

next is the info box! here are my settings: 

btw this is a container with columns!! those can look p wonky on mobile so make sure to have these settings on so that they wont look awful on mobile!!

oh also i wont post a screenshot of my text settings (text size is 0.75 + line spacing is 1.25) if ur wondering how i changed colors for some of the text the format is basically just [text]{#color} 

for the image size i set the width size to full (or full column) that depends on u (and how much text u put in the info part) i just prefer how it looks like when the image width is set to full bc that way no part of the image is cut off... really depends on u and what image ur using though so just play around w/ it!!

and in terms of spacing, i have a divider on top of the title box b/c otherwise the whole thing is just too high up for my taste

ok now to explain the header part and how i got my title/info box to stay “fixed”

so... im ngl. i dont understand how the header function works (help) so uhh i wont go as into detail here. but what worked for me is adding a header marker (the plus thing on the bar > control > change section break to header marker) right after the info container, then adding a section break (this one is called #wala bc wala here means ‘nothing’ in bisaya lol) and a transparent divider right after it. i hope its visible in the pic... anyway this is the only method i found that makes the carrd work lmao. it rlly doesnt matter what u name the #wala section break bc its not gonna show up so u might as well just use a keysmash

3. the extra info!! (extra, interests, byf)

this section will b shorter compared to the first two LOL anyway. first i started off w a section break (#usa which means 1 in bisaya hehe), then a transparent divider for spacing, and then a container! theres nothing fancy abt this container it has the exact same settings as the info box above so u can just duplicate that container and change the container type from columns to default.

then just add ur info and ur done!! repeat w whatever extra info u want to add (i only had 3 to add so it looks like this for me)

4. oh before i forget, these are my animation settings!! (page > the triangle thing)

u can preview the on load animation by clicking the triangle button on the top right bar, but for the on section change animations u have to save then preview it on ur carrd itself :/ kinda annoying but yeah... i usually never set anything above 0.5 seconds for on section change animations bc im impatient LOL 

these r completely optional tho... i just think animations make the carrd look smoother & more fun!

thats it i think! here are some tips i have

1. this tip is abt how carrds can differ when on mobile! i sometimes fiddle around with the mobile settings to make sure my carrd looks the way i want it to on mobile! bc mobile sometimes fucks up the spacing and it annoys me LOL... example here: 

u can find these settings if u scroll down a bit on the page settings and switch mobile from auto to manual (like in the screenshot) most of the settings i dont touch except the size setting, i just fiddle around w it and see how my carrd looks in the mobile view until im satisfied

2. this isnt rlly necessary but its smthn neat i picked up! if u check ur section break settings and check hide footer u can get rid off the “( made with carrd )” text on the bottom! i think it just makes the carrd look a bit neater, esp since the page spacing is set to 0 so it might look a little squished under the container...

3. i like to use all elements of my carrd efficiently (ig? heres the engineering major jumping out) and idk if u noticed, but if u click on the title (”it has always been once for me”) or the image (which is... of tbz..) it actually takes u back to the home page ^^ idk i just think small things like that r neat 

thats it for real!! i hope this wasnt too much of a hassle to read or follow through, and if u have any questions dont hesitate to dm me or send me an ask, even if we arent mutuals!! i hope u have fun making this carrd <3

[that-one-guy-who-does-the-thing]

everyone talkin about the king jumpin off the building at the end of fallen kingdom and how sad it is but everyone is forgetting the part from take back the night where the master villager guy was crushed by the spike flail. like fellas. the king survived. he survived the entire thing, but that master guy is like actually dead. 

you know what? time to do a rundown on this original minecraft plus one parody series (take back the night, find the pieces, and dragonhearted are all original songs)

so first of all, let me point out something about fallen kingdom. people dont seem to notice it in the first listen and sometimes they never figure it out but the majority of it is actually a flashback. notice the king’s beard is longer in the night time scenes and everything’s broken. like, of course the king isn’t dead. how would he be walkin around after all that shit happened in the destruction if he was??? anyway, lets move on to something i spent too much time writing.

those songs introduced so many characters that are all unique but arent explored really at all (mostly because the songs dont tell much of a story. just the bare minimum because thats about as much as you can do with minecraft parodies.)

 like the guard with the nose itch,

these fellas

and the archer

like you cant really notice it while youre dancing and stuff but these guys are pretty cool to me. notice in the second image of the guard, his mustache is bigger. this shows that time has passed from the flashback on the left and the flashback on the right. it’s showing how the characters age. might just be me but that sort of thing really shows that these characters have lives. the pigs you can tell someone put effort into their designs and the archer you can kind of tell he’s confused and has seemingly never really had to shoot at anyone before

and then onto the more “subtley characterized” characters

the queen

you can tell all the violence is too much for her. she cries as she watches her husband take the sword and go outside. other characters in reaction to the mobs simply grabbed weapons and fought back whereas the queen was just crying. granted we dont see many citizens fighting back against them at all but you get my point.

the three villagers from the search party

you can tell the white and green ones are more experienced. the brown one seems jumpy, frightened, and confused. the white one silently grieves when the green one tells them that the mother is dead.

...and now onto the more heavily focused characters

the pig king

surprisingly, the pig king isn’t really shown to do much other than sit around. they make it seem like he’s the one in charge of everything though. he’s important but he’s not shown as much. just wanted to get him out of the way cause this was a cool screenshot

the pig commander guy

this guy just screams “cocky bastard”. literally every time he’s onscreen he either has a smirk or is reacting to something else. bonus for his little science man on the right. he doesn’t show up again (to my knowledge) but you can tell exactly what kind of character he is. we’ve all seen the “science man raises one finger as the boss ignores him” scene. anyway, back to the cocky guy.

this scene really i think shows his character the best. mustache man here is cornered and afraid and resorts to crying and giving up. this pig guy mocks him for a second before raising his sword.

the trio from the beginning of find the pieces

the chef is another character you can kind of get. like, he’s your basic “happy neighbor pal” or.. or just you know. “the buddy”. he’s sittin there cooking and he’s real happy about it until the hero bursts into the room and he drops the bowl. he takes a second to see who did it and when he sees the hero he laughs about it. like a “ha ha classic hero”. his expression on the bottom is a fading smile after the hero explains a dream he had. this is important for later so hold onto that.

the farmer.

you can tell he’s just done with life. he’s living basically on autopilot at this point. he looks like he’d wear the “i really wish i weren’t here right now” pin. you can kind of see bored and “done with everyone’s shit” and maybe a bit of vague “nostalgia sadness” yknow? also, this is off-topic but this panel makes for a great meme template. go ahead and use it please thank you.

the scientist

honestly? this guy doesnt have any characterization other than “i am the smart”. like he’s just the guy that gets the scroll off the shelf and tells the hero about the kingdom. but i do really like this character nonetheless. you really know exactly what kind of person he is because you’ve seen this kind of person so many times before.

ok so. remember before when i was talking about the chef and told you to remember something? notice the colors of these three’s robes. these might be the same villagers from the search party. this could explain why the hero went to these three villagers and why the cook lost his smile when he heard the hero’s story and why the scientist had a map and knew about the kingdom. the farmer was the confused jumpy guy before but now it seems like nothing can phase him. this might be because he didnt really get to do anything and he wasn’t involved as much because he was just the backpack guy. ‘s also why he doesnt do much here either. that might be a stretch but idc man let me theorize.

also they show up again later

the scientist is the one designing all the iron golems and planning where they patrol during the big fight scene in dragonhearted. the scene is set up in a way that makes it seem like he is crushed and killed by big robo pig herobrine. this is not the case though. 

all three are seen later in the final scene. theyre not dead (thank god)

anyway lets talk about the master

sorry for the weird stretching btw i edited all this in paint from screenshots. anyway uhh so the master. you get a little bit of characterization here from him. a lot of these characters are stereotypes but that’s really expected considering this is a minecraft parody series. theres not a whole lot of talking you can do. this guy is literally the master guy in an action comedy. you can tell what kind of action comedy master you get from this scene alone. he makes the hero stew so he’s obviously a very caring master, and the following scene shows that he has a sense of humor, but hides it just to look cool. the moment he notices someone see him laughing he pretends it never happened. also a small detail here i wanna point out real quick. i love that the villagers can separate their arms here, but i ESPECIALLY love when they put them together. like, they dont always do it but they still do. i just love it. anyway...

because of this and the fact that the hero and the master were pretty much the only two in the song for a while there, it actually stings when the master is killed. the hero’s reaction is DEFINITELY a factor in this too. this guy was like a second father to him and now this is the second father he’s lost. FUCK i love these songs SO MUCH. i wonder what it would be like if the master ever met the king

note: i didnt characterize the hero, the king, or herobrine given that they are the main main three characters. you can probably figure out their personalities on your own. (well, almost all of them. herobrine doesnt really have much of one other than “occasionally turns into a disney villain when he finds out the king took the eye out of the portal”)

anyway uh, another thing this series really does is just visuals. cool lookin scenes all over the place here.

like look at this shit. especially the ones from dragonhearted. i think that picture of the golem was used everywhere for a short time and i dont blame them. its an epic shot and i love it.

...and i didnt even include the two classic scenes that you can visualize in your head at any moment

these two moments are so fucking powerful you don’t understand. like look at these. god. shit, this is just.. hhhh i love this series so much. you know, sometimes i like to think of stupid theories... like imagine if revenge was actually part of this series. it has no effect on the story but it seems to follow the same “rules” (all characters are in hardcore mode is a big one). idk maybe they did happen in the same universe but steve is just a great ancestor to the king or something. anyway, thats all the energy i can spend on one post. it took an hour and a half to write this and grab the screenshots. feel free to add on to this list of things we all love about fallen kingdom and the others.

[indigopurple]

Basically a review of OP episode 503 ig

Currently rewatching post-war arc (in the dub so I don't have any screenshots for u guys sry) and theres a few things id like to point out.

During a conversation Dadan once had with Garp, they were talking about Roger. Garp said that even if they were facing powerful enemies, he would never run away because he wouldnt dare leaving his comrads behind; it wasnt an option for him. Obviously we see this in Ace. But ALSO, isnt this what he did with Katakuri? It was a little different cuz of the setting mostly, but he separated himself from his crew to fight off katakuri, and lied to them about being okay so they didn't worry (he was already getting his ass kicked by then, so he just made that stupid smile and told them not to worry (or smth like that, I can remember the exact line) (that smile was so gross and fake cuz he fucking sucks at lying). Also he said roger destroyed a buncha soldiers cuz they mouthed off his men. That's what Ace tried to do but instead he died. :(

"The pain he went through just made him hold on tighter to the ones he loved" -Garp, about Roger. "Despite his flaws and his bad reputation, his crew still trusted him completely." -also Garp, about Roger. These both sound a lot like Luffy AND Ace.

When Dogra got home and told everyone about Sabo's ship being shit down and him dying (which we all know didnt happen, thank fuck), (by the way the absolutely lost looks on Ace's and Luffy's faces with the sudden silence hurt like a bitch), Luffy started crying and said "WE SHOULDNT'A LET HIM GO, IT'S ALL OUR FAULT". Which fucking says something about him (thinking of episodes 913-915 when he goes fucking berserk, but before that he learns that Kaido probably killed Tama and he says "I should've escorted them..!" (*ugly cries*)). Ace also reacted pretty similarly-- "Sabo...why didn't we go back into town and bring him back here?! We're so stupid!" And he gets mad and asks where he could find the bastard that killed him (obviously not getting a good answer since it was a fucking celestial dragon ugh). That is what Luffy does, in present time. He results to anger first, not sadness. Not sure when he learned to do that but I'm 99 percent sure it was from Ace. Also the blaming himself thing? High chance thats ALSO from Ace. Who else would teach him that self hating behaviour?!

Dadan pins Ace down to stop him from going after the Celestial Dragon to calm him down, telling him he cant do anything, he's not big or strong enough to do anything and he'll be killed as soon as he tries anything, especially since it was the whole country -the whole WORLD- that killed Sabo. He can't do anything. And then they tied him to a tree outside to let him cool off. Oh yeah then he also told luffy to stop crying like a little girl or else he'll- (and he didn't finish the sentence). ...Ok maybe thats why luffy started being more angry than sad.

This is where things get a little more :( . Ace reads the letter Sabo sent them before he died. As he reads, he walks to the end of the forest, to a cliff overlooking the ocean. And starts fucking bawling (btw the voice actor who had Ace's childhood part did not do a very good job, no where near as in character and real as Coleen Clickenberg did with all of Luffy's crying scenes. She was spot on.) ...do you see where im going with that? He isolated himself before letting himself feel sad. It was all rage and then calm beforehand. Y-you see where im going with that. Dont make me say it.

"How's Luffy doing, is he any better?" "Well...he hasnt been eating much, but he still eats twice as much as we do". Oh look, That's what happened after Ace died too. There's a behavioral pattern that hasnt gone away. Not sure why it wouldve tho.

Luffy is mopeing, lying on the ground in a similar setting ace was at when he cried. Hes thinking about some of the things Sabo said, like how theyre gonna sail the seas together, and he clenches his hands into tight, shaking fists. After Ace shows up and hits him, and talking abt some other stuff I don't feel like relaying, Luffy tightens his grip on the straw hat and tells ace, whimpering, he wants to get stronger (and stronger, and stronger, and stronger and stronger and....) And he wants to be the strongest in the world. "And then, I'll protect everyone. I won't lose anyone I care about". He gets stronger mainly to protect the people he loves. And then he asks ace to promise he won't die. To which he hits Luffy again and tells him he should be more worried about himself dying first. And then the famous line that hurts like a bitch- "I'm NEVER going to DIE!" And then this hopeful music comes on (fucking damnit funimation, u gotta do this? Really??) Also he says he wont die as long as he has a wussy little brother to protect. ...FUCK. Ok, the fist clenching is a thing he does all the fucking time, usually when he gets mad. This was different because he wasnt mad, he was sad. He clenched his fist because thinking about it hurt. Which, huh, sounds a lot like his whole episode after waking up from his 2 week coma on the polar tang. To try and stop the mental pain of those horrendous memories, he resulted to physically pain. He hurt himself. So, He clenches his fists in times like these to fight off the mental pain and the urge to cause himself physical pain. Guys, our boy is bad at emotions, help him. ....ok this paragraph is longer than I anticipated so ill dumb down the rest of it ig. Next part, him asking ace to promise he wont die. The music, the body language, the over change in mood- this comforts him. He stopped hiding his face and silently sobbing after ace said this. OH YEAH! didn't he tell jinbe not to die when they parted ways in Totto Land? And then, hes missing still in Wano and we see Luffy is worried....but convinced Jinbe will show up. Again, this comforts him. Hes nervous cuz someone KOFF KOFF ACE broke that promise once. But jinbe is his crew mate so he trusts him, thank god.

"-But whoever did it, they must be opposed to freedom." The whole freedom thing? That runs through Luffy's blood and spirit.His brothers fought for it, his dad is the man who strives to give everyone freedom basically, and Luffy himself has seen enough of the OPPOSITE of freedom to be so, so much more than just against it. Hence why he of course was so eager to free the slaves in Sabaody, the kids in punk hazard, the toys in dressrosa, the country of Wano from Kaido's tyrany. The apple doesnt fall far from the tree huh.

I dont think Luffy would remember his promise with Shanks if it werent for his brothers putting feul to his dream. It was a stupid bet at first; he just wanted to beat Shanks, right then. But after meeting Sabo and Ace, he found the opposite of freedom and human rights. And then he wanted, REALLY wanted, to become the free-est man in the world; the pirate king.

Last one i promise ok? This one is less connected to whats going on in the episode at this point, but something I noticed (its so obvious everyone has seen this ok) was when luffy cries, his posture is always open. He doesn't curl in on himself like many people would do (I know I would, lol). He doesnt hug himself, protect himself. He's just, opened up to whoever is watching, literally. This has a little more to do with something I haven't talked about much in this post yet; his self-destruction issues. I said he tried to hurt himself when he felt mental pain, which is definitely similar. But he cries and doesnt try to protect or comfort himself, like he doesn't have that programmed into his mind. Reminder that he only wants to live because of his dream, and if he doesnt have his dream, he wants to die. (Whoa.). Ok, so no self preservation mechanism at all rlly. Hes basically ride or die. So, when things hurt so much that he cries, he has no hope left. He just kinda...dies inside. So this was mildly different after sabo died. Yes we saw him just standing there, sobbing. But the next day he's still crying, and instead he's laying on the ground. I saw that and the voice in the back of my head told me he wanted to be a part of that lifeless dirt beneath him. Then, Ace walked over. And his words made him feel the hope that I told you about earlier, and he sat up into a sitting position. And HUGGED HIS LEGS TO HIS CHEST. There's some self preservation! Some hope! Some will to exist, to live! Something we saw none of as he sat in front of his brothers corpse, shutting down. He sat there, open to his enemies, incapable of protecting himself. Practically anyone couldve killed him right then and there. I think he mightve liked that, at that moment. Like thank god he has that stupidly good luck cuz if he didn't I swear someone couldve thrown and axe or FUCKING ANYTHING AT THAT MOMENT and hed be dead becuase he never physically or mentally prepared himself. On purpose.

Our poor boy needs some fucking attention and therapists. (Insert my rant post about how jinbe is on the crew primarily for anger management and therapy, not just being a helmsman.) Ugh, smh ugly cries

Aaaaand thats about the end of the episode. Theres so many little tics and peesonality traits that you notive thru this episode, and I only noticed them cuz im rewatching this part of the show for like the third time. I don't react as much as the first time of course but some things are definitely sadder after knowing what's going on and what will happen later on.

Moral of the story (post)? I think luffy is almost equally as alike -if not, more similar to roger as ace is. Also, high key genuinely think Luffy met like NO ONE but Garp before he met Shanks and his crew. What the fuck was his first like 5 years of being alive like? (He wantd to be a pirate cuz Garp didnt want that. Rebellious baby asshole. And then shanks made things worse, in a good way for luffy. And then ace and sabo made that worse thing worse for a good reason. Luffy lives...for those influences. And that is fucking it. Why.

Oh thanks tumblr for moving my picture to the bottom of the post u fucking idiot

[hugttos]

ANOTHER callout for alex @/knfe

others here 

this will mostly focus on the massive pile of lies alex has managed to spin up

lying about the whole reason we fell out anyway-

so i dumped alex’s shitty toxic ass once she vagued about me when she knew i was struggling and acted like a piece of shit about it, and then constantly made up reasons as to why it was my fault instead of just. owning up that she was a piece of shit

alex literally never said this happened until months later where its more convenient for her. i guess the fact it was supposedly her grandmas bday makes it a better sob story to buy because she literally Never mentioned this until this post so...whats the truth perhaps

this is again. supposedly. me admitting i knew it wasnt about me. the vague is this

fucking obviously ‘only good for sex’ doesn’t apply to me yet this whole vague mentions like five different things. but alex likes to ignore that and act like she ONLY mentioned being used for sex when its clearly full of umbrella statements. she completely ignores ‘only good for emotional support’ which is literally just the second sentence. this is the part i focus on because alex knew i was still grieving over a SERIOUS trauma that happened to me literally two weeks prior to this

also ‘the very next day’ now alex is lying and painting it as if i rushed her to talk about it when i had PURPOSELY waited until the next day rather than confront her about it when she was obviously still freaking out. but like. again. fuck me for trying to be a considerate friend right alex????

alex also decided to spin up the narrative that i only talked to anthony about it to drive a wedge between them which..isnt true lol. 

alex was just a dick to anthony for no reason (as she states above) and apparently i ‘forced it out of her’ by like. simply asking i guess? alex was also being very shitty during this time to so obviously im gonna ask her wtf her problem is but again. alex gets a free pass apparently and im an ass for being worried. also anthony came to ME first because of what you were doing and i was actually the one who had to sort out your stupid ass disagreement despite having my own VERY fresh trauma to work through at the time. alex even said she wasn’t even considering doing anything and just leaving the relationship in tatters bc of her own dumb shit and i had to convince her NOT to do that lmao.

me going to anthony with alex being a piece of shit just to stir up drama is SUCH a fucking reach. anthony even said to me he didn’t want to be friends with someone like alex when i showed him this but they like to conveniently ignore that :)

downplaying showing a minor porn-

they only blocked the channel after i called them out on it btw. so. again. truth is only at alex’s convenience

lying about her abuse-

tim is alex’s abuser, who she sexted with despite knowing he was dating someone else and even blamed her for alex’s own shitty actions (which alex likes to say never happened but theres screenshot proof SO)

again, this is me pointing out how alex is fucking horrible to her friends but also manipulative about doing anything to make herself a victim in any situation. this post is about her abuser who alex would talk about even WHEN WE WERE STILL FRIENDS in the group chat and it was literally always negative. like me wondering what the fuck would compel her to keep hanging out with the dude despite all that makes me victim blaming i guess???? but again alex has been known to befriend her own supposed abusers before so.. go figure i guess

alex me calling you out for being abusive and having tons of proof, but you’re too fucking stupid to actually own up to shit? thats not gaslighting??

alex is the only one who’s actually gone to ppl trying to get them to side with her and i have plenty of ppl who can account to this. and alex is just. endlessly fucking dense and doesn’t understand how hypocritical it is for her to say ‘i was just making posts on my own blog!!’ when she’s been known to flip out when I do the same. even when its not even close to being about her.

and yes uhh i cant believe i have to say this but gloating about ‘healing uwuw’ while you’re abusing someone is uhh. fucking disgusting!

lying about old drama-

alex loves to claim that i was 18 during the old callouts despite having it archived and having the information right in front of her

lying about interacting with abusers (and also making it about her)-

broden is MY abuser too dumbass and (literally by your own admission) i was abused a lot worse by him so shut the fuck up?? broden forced me to do rape rps too, along with guilting me and gaslighting me AND my boyfriend for years. also no alex you unblocked him to ‘prove’ you were underage when you dated when i caught you lying saying it was pedophilic and he dated you when he was in his 20s and you were 16. i outed you that it was actually that you were 17 about to turn 18 and he was barely 19 when you started dating. then you backpedaled and said you forgot which like...having memory issues myself saying you were dating a 20 year old while you’re 16 doesnt sound like a memory thing? sounds more like lying??? also while they were dating alex was cheating on broden with tim but claims she gets a free pass for that bc they’re her abusers. and like. obviously thats not how. shit works.

lying about stalking:

alex likes to move blogs rather than just own up to her shitty behavior and then scream stalking when i out her again. which is perfectly reasonable given she’s still openly abusive.

alex if lurking and vagueing makes someone a stalker then you’re shooting yourself in the foot because you literally do this MORE than i do. and ofc this is followed by screenshots of the most irrelevant text posts including me literally just saying a theme is ugly (which HAS to be about her bc literally everything is apparently

AGAIN, alex moved bc she revived her own kiwifarms thread and acted shocked when they started writing on her text wall thing and went totally fucking rabid about how it was me (it wasnt and more on this later)

i also made it clear that yes im outing alex again for reasons i previously stated

also why does alex act like im a mastermind for finding her new url when she literally reblogged aes posts from her old blog onto her new one. its not fucking rocket science alex

when you’re an active abuser who hasn’t owned up to shit your victim has a fucking right to warn people about you and it doesnt make them a stalker alex!!!

lying about how i ‘befriend freaks’-

Literally None of the links are pornographic btw..and none of them are actually? my posts?

also yes uhh i actually have proof that gideon just dug through archives to pick out things to exaggerate and no its actually not deleted because the proof is right here!

also i should point out its really REALLY hypocritical for alex to freak out over this because i unfollowed these blogs after like. a week? and alex was friends with known pedophile gorecember and also friends with someone who posts irl gore (even posted gore herself) and necrophilia.

alex claims this along with claiming i groom minors just because a mutual of mine got an ask about me and two of her followers were positive about it.

like. ive literally never interacted with these ppl before?? just bc people are nice instead of abusive like alex doesnt mean im friends with them and it doesnt indicate some big fucking conspiracy or whatever??

lying about anons and literally anything she doesnt like-

alex will literally spin the most fucking ridiculous stories to add to her narrative but like....its really simple. that anon isnt me BECAUSE I WAS LITERALLY ASLEEP WHEN THIS HAPPENED...LMAO... 

alex has one of those text wall things, and she flipped out after ppl started harassing her on it right after she revived her own dead kiwifarms thread but threw a tantrum that it was me. again. when i wasn’t even online

alex has lots. LOTS.. of weak reasoning

ok so...alex really Cannot get it into her thick fucking head that ppl can fake typing styles. also alex half of these are things YOU say more than i do? or either things that like. Everyone says.

ive OUTED alex for shit before so uhh its not actually stuff only i would know if i posted about it. 

this. honestly just speaks for itself.

please distance yourselves from alex, theyre an abuser and very manipulative and constantly gaslight people, pls keep yourself safe thanks

[jadecringecomp]

jade is most definitely transmed and they refuse to even talk abt this because they know what they said and done is wrong.

jade has tried calling my friend out for being transmed and since ive come out abt these screenshots, theyve stopped calling him transmed and hasnt even talked abt the screenshots.

“[gideon] I dislike/hate most truscum and what most of them tend to believe, thought I personally do think some form/amount of dysphoria is needed even if it’s pretty much only social dysphoria or very minimal of any type of dysphoria.

[gideon] I don’t think there’s anything wrong with holding the belief that dysphoria is necessary so long as you aren’t policing, harassing, misgendering, etc.

[jade] oh yeah that makes sense. i can kind of see both sides? idk yeah

[gideon] I think both sides actively involved in ‘the discourse’ are fucking nuts, just to be clear lol”

they had even agreed with his statement. so its kind of weird for jade to call my friend gideon transmed over smth... they agreed with. it only gets worse with them.

“[jade] basically lainey like. claims to be trans but constantly does shirtless pictures and like borderline nsfw stuff, flip flops on who gets to call her what pronouns

[jade] claims to be a boy but then like.. claims to be agender

[jade] but then says they ARENT agender and like...

[jade] but like. just because they dont want labels?

[jade] idk what were u gonna say abt tearzah

[me] ok i can see that other stuff as faking it but like. i dont see how you cant be trans if you post shirtless pics or whatever

[jade] oh i mean

[me] also idk?? what i was gonna say

[jade] thats more the fact that she claims to have dysphoria but then like. does this”

jade straight up policing how dysphoria should work for others. and no it doesnt end there. i mean its jade we’re talking abt here. theyre really weird abt dysphoria not only from this, but asking me this question out of nowhere.

“[bot] Disconnected.

[jade] yo rae im just wondering but do u have dysphoria

[me] sometimes yes

[jade] vawid”

which is.. such an odd question to ask out of nowhere.

“[jade] do they claim

[jade] to have dysphoria”

jade talking abt tearzah and asking if they ‘claim’ to have dysphoria. and only to top the cake...

“[jade] dysphoria my fat ass cmon (picture of tearzah and their gf shirtless)”

so theres a good chance jade is transmed and they probablyare with how badly they try to avoid talking abt these screenshots. i think that alone says a lot.

update 3/31/19:

its been brought to my attention jade is claiming i made this all up. but really how could i be making this up when i have these screenshots. especially this one of jade blatantly using the term “transtrender”.

“Anonymous asked: in the call outs it shows u doubting people’s dysphoria and posting their pics to say the must not? why do this if not tr//scum? im confused and i do not want to follow tr//scum ideology thank u for answer

laineys whole transtrender or like. honestly whatever u wanna call it idk thing is like. a big topic for anti onision shit (which i follow like? kinda loosely but not rlly) so like. if literally just explaining it makes me transmed and pointing out how lainey fucking sucks (she does and if you are literally going to defend onisions wife in my inbox i’ll vomit blood all over my keyboard) makes me transmed and pointing out the Same shit with TEARZAH (god Help Me i can’t believe my abuser is so fuckign,dfkjdshfkjs she’ll defend tearzah to lie and victimize herself)”

first of all, nobody is defending lainey. i merely pointed out jade polices how ppl should experience dysphoria. and neither is the anon, as theyre implying in this ask. they simply agree jade displays the same ideologies as transmeds do. and apparently me pointing out how they even policed how tearzah should experience dysphoria means im defending them and trying to victimize myself...? way to gaslight jade. especially when all i did was show it to show more proof jade is transmed.

after someone pointing the ask out to me, i make a post on my blog calling them out on it.

“like dont get me wrong i fucking hate tearzah but me just showing proof of you being a freak and policing how ppl should experience dysphoria……. isnt………………. me defending anyone. nor is it even me trying to victimize myself. like what. crack are you on. its just proof you have transmed ideology. like i. really dont know what else to tell you. you just exposed yourself even more by using “transtrender” btw. what transmed doesnt say that honestly.

so im gonna have to ask you again to pull your head out of your ass and act human for once.“

and only minutes later does jade rb that same ask, to say this and try and backpedal.

“LIKE my point wasnt to call lainey a transtrender bc its fucking stupid but like basically thts what the whole subject is abt?? but like then again. cant speak for everyone so”

and they make yet another post right after, practically digging their own grave.

“claiming dysphoria and then posting topless selfies is sus and contradictory so shoot me i guess

#look up body dysphoria perhaps”

i think we can all conclude at this point that jade is definitely transmed.

[queen-of-hearts92]

Revue Starlight 4: Where in Tokyo is Hikari Kagura?

BANANA, IN PAJAMAS, IS VERY BANA-NICE! 

For the previous episode go here!

To go to the start of these posts, go to the Prelude!

Sup everyone, this week we have a what is known as a breather episode. It’s a break to get to know everyone more pretty much! But it was still a good time! Like wow, even the breather episodes are fascinating! Ok! Here we go!

Quick note: I discovered Claudine’s nickname is Kuro, given by Karen it sounds like, so I’ll probably use that from time to time. So Kuro=Claudine, now you know and won’t be confused when I call her that being like “who the fuck is Kuro?”. Odd her image color is orange but her nickname means black and theres no orange on her stage outfit. Eh, whatever.

>Guess who watched the stage play?

Recently I decided to go ahead and watch the stage play, it was a chinese sub (I’ll link ya to it if you like, just message me) so while I couldn’t gather a ton of info I did gather some interesting shit. First off, the stage play story and the anime story are quite different from each other as far as I could tell. So don’t worry too much about spoilers, the show is very quick and compressed pacing wise for example. Ok so first off, remember the mystery names in the cast list on the bottom of the fan translated website? In the stage show there are three teachers overseeing the fights, I only know one of their names so the other two I’ll call Red Jacket and Yellow Sweater.

Red Jacket seems to be a gym teacher of sorts, Yellow Sweater is a music teacher. Yellow Sweater dislikes the fights right away while Red Jacket gradually gets more and more uncomfortable with the kids fighting. The third teacher is the most important one, she’s in charge (might be the headmaster of the school) and orchestrating the whole thing. Her name is Souda Haseda, the girls call her “Souda-sensei”, and I really think its very likely she is going to be in the anime. So we are probably gonna get a face to the system! Good, this will be exciting!

Second thing here, in the stage version it seems like the audition duels magically jack up the girl’s aggression and worst possible traits A LOT. This way they fight each other and its, wild. You can break out of the influences but man does it hit hard! Examples being Maya being really bloodthirsty (my curiosity of the play started cause I saw a screenshot of her stabbing Claudine, don’t worry Claudine is fine its not really mentioned or has consequences as far as I can tell), Nana’s aggression is fuckin nuts, and Hikari starts taunting her opponents and during a fight with Mahiru she knocks Mahiru the fuck out! Like holyyy shit Hikari!

And they snap out of this blinding rage when the duel ends but the winners go right back into it once their next duel starts. Like when Maya beats Kuro she isn’t happy, no. She’s upset and has this look on her face that says “I won but at what cost?”. And then the next fight she’s right back into stabby time. I’m not describing everything cause you could see it for yourself but wow man. I actually don’t think any of this stuff about the auditions will be true in the anime but I think the underground stage is probably set up to egg everyone on into wanting to fight each other. Yikes.

-The word Kirin was used in the musical, and I think it was referring to the mythical animal. I’m thinking I’m right about my theory of what Giraffe is! But there's still a lingering question, if Kirins are supposed to be beings of good luck and fortune why is there one associated with a game of misery and conflict? Hm. The mystery continues.

--Also btw, I tried to see if Souda-sensei’s name meant anything but I couldn’t get anything to make any sense. All I know is her name involves running and feathers and maybe camels and gauze or something silky? I got running away/escaping, going fast. Idk, it’s this 走駝紗羽 (and I’m pretty positive her name is written this way) if anyone wants to give it a go themselves. I’m not an expert at all so maybe you’ll find something I missed.

Alrighty that’s all I gotta say on the play! Glad I watched it, still don’t know what’s gonna happen in the anime tho lol. Yay surprises!

>*Carmen Sandiago theme intensifies as the ep summary starts up*

The episode starts with baby! Hikari and Karen watching the Starlight play. The roles are filled by all the girls doing a repeat of the stairs from episode one. Teen! Hikari and Karen are playing the two goddesses, just like we saw Maya and Claudine do in the flashback last episode. The pink star shines brightly as it did last time we saw this play.

Y’ALL I ALREADY WARNED YOU ABOUT THOSE STAIRS!

After Hikari and Karen’s characters reach for the star, they are each on a raised platform. And then, THEN THE STAR BLASTS KAREN’S CHARACTER IN THE FACE AND SHE DIES. Yeah. Anyways Karen’s platform goes down while Hikari’s goes up and sand rains down from the sky onto Hikari’s character who is crying. Notably the tower that held the star is empty.

Twinkle twinkle little star, IT WILL UNLEASH THE WRATH OF GOD!

Now we are in the present, its the next day. Karen wakes up and notices Hikari isn’t there. So she proceeds to run around the dorm barging into all the rooms looking for Hikari. She wakes up Nana and Junna, looks around the bathing room while Maya is there, and startles Claudine into speaking French while she was looking at photos of Maya dancing on her tablet….Which is for researching Maya’s dancing of course, and for no other reason even though she hides her tablet screen so Karen can’t see the photos. Research purposes only!

After this show is done I might do a best screenshot compilation post. This will be one of them, it’s priceless.

We then go to the living room where we find out Karen woke up Futaba and Kaoruko and the two are on the couch looking very sleepy. Everyone else is also there and being like “God dammit Karen, she’s been doing this all morning!”. Karen runs into the living room, sad she didn’t find Hikari anywhere in the dorm. Nana asks if Karen tried calling her and Karen is like oooh yeah phones are a thing. She thanks Nana by combining her nickname with the word nice getting the amazing phrase “Bana-nice” and floofing Nana’s pigtails. Nana likes this. 

Karen calls Hikari and asks where the fuck she is, Hikari doesn’t say anything but Karen can hear a train station and is like “wtf are you off campus?! You need a notice! Curfew is at 6!” but Hikari hangs up. Karen decides to go and find her. All the girls (including sleepy Kaoruko draped over her gf like a sloth) follow Karen to the door. Futaba is like uh are you gonna get a notice? Junna reminds Karen it's her turn to clean the hallways. Karen is like, sorry I gotta go find Hikari! Karen runs to the train station but no Hikari. She sends Hikari a text and Hikari response with the best emote known to man. And no translation needed honestly.

Hikari won’t hesitate bitch!

Eventually Hikari sends a picture of herself in front of a, blurry blob. Karen guesses a rock climbing wall, its wrong. Karen runs around and asks a little girl what she think it is and the girl thinks its jellyfish. Karen runs to a aquarium, its the wrong one. Hikari sends another jellyfish picture and Karen races out to the train. Btw Hikari has her roller suitcase with her the entire time. Anyways, Hikari is in another aquarium but Karen is tired so she sits in a train station. Hikari then finally texts words instead of jellyfish photos, she asks why did you lose. Karen replies saying that Maya and her aren’t on the same stage (as in she means Maya is much stronger than her), if you could even call it a stage that is. Hikari calls her an idiot. Karen then asks well what should she have done then?! Hikari responses with, I don’t know. She wonders what should they do. Karen decides to call her and this time Hikari picks up and responds! She asks if Karen remembers “their Starlight”.

Back on campus, Futaba and Kaoruko are chilling in a training room. Kaoruko complains about having to wear school uniforms/school wear while in the school building. She then brings up the audition duels, she is surprised Futaba is in them and didn’t talk to her about doing that. She wonders if the prize of being Top Star is real. Kaoruko says “aw man that means we gotta fight one day, but you’ll let me win right?”, Futaba doesn’t give an answer. Instead she slides Kaoruko off of her lap. This is fine. Just fine.

Anywho Kaoruko is then like, I got an idea! She starts skipping towards the teacher’s office with Futaba right behind her. Yeah she’s gonna go tattle on Karen and Hikari being off campus without permission cause then less rivals for Top Star, don’t ever trust the sleepy ones you guys. Luckily Mahiru stops them in their tracks saying she’s the goddess of the hallway while pointing with and spinning her baton. Mahiru says she senses wicked intent from them, and figures out Kaoruko’s plan right away and does a great impression of her. Kaoruko tries to be like “uhhh no we weren't gonna. Do anything like that.” Mahiru then aggressively spins her baton at them until they run away. Mahiru then dramatically laments that she’s jealous that Karen was chasing Hikari and not her.

ALL HAIL THE HALLWAY GODDESS! PROTECTOR OF THE IDIOTS!

Back with Karen and Hikari, Karen is like ofc I remember our promise! Then the two have a long much needed catching up talk while they individually wander around Tokyo for the rest of the day. Eventually Karen talks about how much she loves the stage and wants to go even higher, hence she’ll keep doing the audition duels. Finally, at night, the two meet in person at the lit up Tokyo Tower.

Meanwhile, we go to Claudine practicing dance. She’s been doing so for awhile. Maya then comes the fuck in and asks if she wanted to dance with her. They turn on sweet jazzy music and they dance. Maya comments that Claudine seems all psyched up again and Claudine says that Maya tends to fire her up and Maya is like “orly? Cool” (Maya don’t be coy you already knew that). Claudine asks “So, why the hell are you even IN the auditions in the first place? It’s not like you need em, you’re already take center stage with everything!” Maya playfully says she gets jealous is all. They finish their dance with Maya dipping Claudine, she says the idea of anyone having the Top Star besides herself makes her very jealous. What Maya is really saying is she wants Claudine to challenge her and try to take the Top Star, Claudine smiles and calls her greedy. Challenge accepted.

Maya is NOT subtle with her crush at all, it’s amazing. 

Back with Karen and Hikari, they try to go to the aquarium that’s under the tower but sadly its closed for maintenance. The two sit in a park nearby the tower, Karen is like “its okay we can always come together here again!” Hikari then finally talks about the audition duels. She says if you lose too many times and get booted out, you will lose the most important thing to a Stage Girl. Damn. 

Karen is like ooohh that's why you locked me in a shed, but she points out that not going to the duel meant she’d lose by default and Hikari very obviously didn’t think of that. Karen, running up a slide, is like Hikari don’t worry I won’t lose anymore! She’s gonna be shining! She will shine with Hikari! Hikari points out there's only one Top Star and Karen is like uh Giraffe never said there couldn’t be two! Not a bad point. Hikari is like dude thats not gonna happen but Karen is like let’s try anyways. Hikari is like, ok. And joins her on the top of the slide. They stand together holding hands, the tower glowing softly nearby.

They say if a couple witnesses the turning off of Tokyo Tower’s lights at night, they will stay together forever......uh. It’s still on. Uh oh.

Meanwhile at the dorms, their teacher is checking if all of them are there so the girls gotta cover for Karen and Hikari. When their teacher checks the room, Mahiru is like oh they tired so they went to bed early. Kaoruko and Futaba are being body doubles in Karen and Hikari’s bed. However because they didn’t use pillows like most kids in media do, now Kaoruko and Futaba’s room is being checked and they ain’t there. Everyone is thinking fffucck. 

So, to allow the gfs to sneak back to their room, Maya and Claudine join in to help their dumbass friends/floormates. Claudine’s brilliant idea is to stage faint and start rambling random words in French, Maya catches her and is like “oh nooo. She fainted!” the teacher runs over asking what happened and Maya says, what's most likely the first thing that popped up in her head, “She’s got, stage fright!!” I’m. You guys.

Anyways, Futaba and Kaoruko sneaked back to their room door while the teacher’s back was turned. The teacher turns around and sees them by their door. Maya very quietly asks Claudine how long she was gonna lay there rambling in French, so Claudine springs up and is like “HEY I’M FINE NOW!” The teacher is like, well alrighty then. After she leaves, Nana is like “wow i’ve never done that before….but Bana-nice!” Junna is like let’s NEVER do this again.

This goes to show. Top of the class or not, teenagers are teenagers.

The next morning, Mahiru is waiting on the stairs in front of the dorm and sleeping. She wakes up and sees Karen and Hikari walking towards the dorm. She’s like YAY THEY’RE BACK! Junna and Nana come outside while everyone else looks out their windows. Junna is like “WTF What were you two thinking?!” Turns out they ran out of money so they couldn’t take the train back, oops. Karen is like, it’s cool we got back at 6. Junna groans and is like 6PM not AM! Junna scolds them and Nana says Junna did Karen’s cleaning duties for her, Junna blushes. Karen gets emotional, apologizes, and hugs Junna, much to Mahiru’s dismay. 

Then, because these useless lesbians were outside shouting about covering for Karen and Hikari, the teacher rides by on her bike and is like Karen and Hikari come to the office later and bring all those who covered for you too. Yeah she found out, oops. She says they will get “the legendary punishment” and rides away. Junna is like fffffffffuck I’ve heard horrible things about that! Rumor has it that it has caused students to leave the school all together! Karen is like, fuck. Uh, it’s fine! We’re all in this together. Junna is dying squirtle. 

But, she says she’s glad they are safe. Then all the girls tell them “Welcome back”! Hikari is obviously touched by this. The girls go back inside for breakfast. Hikari puts her new stuffed jellyfish next to her bear and the episode ends with the ending theme being sung by both Hikari and Karen.

Let’s face it, getting the jellyfish alone was worth going out for!

>Even the breather episodes have a lot going on!

-Odd to mention now I know, but I love how they draw bangs in the show! They so flippy and cute!

-Also fun fact, the white bear Hikari has everywhere is an in universe mascot character called Mr. White. Hikari loves this mascot so much its on her stage uniform!

-So Hikari straight up leaves the dorms this episode and I think the reason is this, she realized Karen only auditioned cause she was there. If she wasn’t there Karen would’ve never auditioned, so her quest was doomed from the get go. So she leaves hoping Karen would now stop dueling since she isn’t there. But what Hikari underestimated was how much Karen cares about her, she didn’t expect Karen to call her or go looking for her. Hikari at this point is at a loss of what to do, the reason why she came in the first place was a failure. Hence she wanders looking at jellyfish, avoiding Karen since she didn’t want to admit how she felt and that she fucked up. But Karen got it out of her via texting and they finally spoke extensively to each other. This was a good step for them! Looks like Karen convinced Hikari, for the time being, of getting Top Star together!

But is it really such a good idea?...Dunno yet.

-I love that sleepy Kaoruko just drapes herself onto Futaba like Futaba is a big old pillow and she is a sleepy sloth. Very cute girlfriends. Though, there was very strong foreshadowing here that their relationship will be strained thanks to the duels. Futaba isn’t going to just let her win, her silence after Kaoruko asks her that just proves it. Good luck dear lesbians.

-I can’t believe Claudine “I keep photos of Maya dancing on my tablet just for observing her dancing and not because I think she’s hot or anything. JUST FOR RESEARCH PURPOSES!” Saijo is fucking canon. I made a joke of that nature in my last post but then this really happened! I’m SO pleased. Also Karen startled her so much she reverts to speaking French lol. Kuro is the living embodiment of the “600 photos fly out of pockets” meme I swear. I really like her, she’s great!

-Nana’s reaction to Karen fluffing her pigtails was very cute. She is very cute.

-Junna with her hair down is very cute yes but oh man this screenshot of her being startled awake is the funniest fucking thing oh my god. I can’t decide if she was dreaming of titty or if she was ready scratch the face off of whoever came into her room lol.

-I love how comfortable the 8 girls are with each other? Like not all of them are best friends or anything they are just used to living with each other, I assume they’ve been living with each other since their 1st year. And yeah you just kinda get used to any weird shit your floor mates do. We got a good look at that this episode. Karen is running around looking for Hikari and she’s comfortable with everyone enough to barge into people’s rooms and any other room and be like “HAVEYOUSEENHIKARIISSHEINHERE?!”. Also it is funny seeing Karen burst into every room in the dorm like that. She even startled Maya lol. Karen pls.

It kinda gives me flashbacks to when I was in theater and summer camp lol, er not the running into the bathroom while someone was there part tho.

--Also Karen, why do you keep looking under places that Hikari can’t possibly fit or hide in? Unless Hikari is a cat, if she can get her head through she can get in. Maybe, she is a cat. *X Files music*.

-Being Mahiru is still suffering. Like damn it’s suffering! Karen didn’t even really talk to her getting back from the big city. She looks so sad when Karen hugs Junna and not her. OUCH. Currently I’m putting my bets on us losing Mahiru first, she’s the odd man out and that would hurt Karen greatly and up the stakes a lot. Either way it’s only a matter of time b4 she mcfreakin loses it now, and judging by some episode five screenshot teaser that might come soon. SPEAKING OF WHICH!

--THIS. OK. WHAT. IS. THAT. WHITE. THING?! IT HAS AN EYE?! AAAAA?! Is it a prop?! Is it real?! Is it a lovecraftian horror?! What?! Whatcha got in store for us episode 5?! I’m excited and scared at the same time.

-What’s very interesting is that Karen wasn’t sleepy or tired this episode even though it’s post duel. I’m thinking her drive to find Hikari overrode everything else, amazing. The power of gay love!

-When Claudine suddenly dropped to the ground, for a hot second I was like WHAT IS SHE OK but then I realized it was a distraction. Shout out to Maya for just going with it, catching her and everything. Also well well Kuro it looks like you trust Maya enough to catch ya when you stage faint. :3c 

Anywho what cracked me up the most was how slapped together their distraction was, like you guys you’ve been actresses for awhile now and this is the best you can do? Guess they aren’t one for improv lol. I’m honestly glad it went this dumb cause it goes to show that even the top students are still teens, covering for their idiot friends/floormates. I am also happy they took part in this hairbrained scheme, I’ll say more about this later.

-Hikari says when you get booted out of the duels you “lose the most important thing to a stage girl”. Well that’s really vague Hikari. Either she is still withholding information OR that is all she knows. I got the impression in the stage play she was Souda-sensei’s spy/agent to get people to fight, can’t say if that’s true here though.

-Kaoruko omg. I knew she had a secret mean streak but wowww. The good news is she isn’t very sneaky about it, nor is her girlfriend, so Mahiru easily stopped that shit in its track. I still love her though, Sailor Neptune's spirit lives on and is as passive aggressive as ever!

-The Venus de Milo statue didn’t pop up this episode, but that’s likely cause we weren’t on campus very much this time. The pink light was still everywhere like usual though. Also we learned the school has free practice days! That’s neat.

-Hey Maya, I don’t think saying ominous things about the audition duels while dancing is how you flirt with a girl. Granted it looks like it worked? Weirdos. And I told ya guys, Maya really loves dancing with her. She went out her way to do so this episode! Also good to know Maya always smiles at her when they dance even if no one else is watching so her smiling isn’t performative. And man, I’ve noticed Maya seeks out Kuro and only Kuro instead of hanging out with anyone else. That girl has got it bad. 

--Maya hun, did you learn all your flirting tactics from the theater? I think she did, amazing.

-Honestly I’m loving Kuro and Maya’s dynamic more and more each episode, they are actually really adorable? Kuro is in deep denial while Maya is like “That’s ok, take your time. :)”. In the meantime she’s here to impress and think “She’s so pretty when she fights and when she dances and when she-” and so on and so forth. 

However like with everyone else’s relationships, their relationship is going to end up strained thanks to the audition duels. Right now, Maya very firmly believes that being a Top Star means being alone. Throwing everything and everyone away, no matter what. But that begs the question, how will she handle it when it’s Kuro’s time to get booted (I think Maya and Karen will be the last ones standing)? I don’t mean just losing, being kicked out of the duels all together.

If my theory on radiance aka ability to perform on the stage is the thing taken is correct, than that means Maya can’t dance with her or see her fiery passion for the theater anymore after she’s kicked out. When that time comes, will she really be ok with leaving Kuro with nothing and standing alone? Ha ha, what if Maya knows they have limited time together so she’s trying to have as much time as she can? Ahaha...oh I just made myself sad.

-Speaking of Maya and Kuro, those two are a lot different than I expected. Way nicer and for sure not so above it all. They are just teenagers like the rest of them. I really love how different Maya is off the stage, when fighting/on stage she is very intimidating and seems all powerful. But when not she is, very respected and talented yes, but she is just another girl in their class. Maya isn’t an asshole to her classmates like you’d expect most characters like her to do, and like I said she obviously enjoys dancing with Kuro even though they are rivals.

Kuro on the other hand could’ve been like your average rich bitch character but nope! She's actually very chill and playful with everyone not named Tendou Maya, hell she even has a nickname, all of her intensity goes towards Maya instead. And ofc her deep denial about how she feels about Maya. It's very fascinating and I love it, I love them. They could’ve easily been the stock popular snobs/jerks but they aren’t, they are much deeper than that. And that’s wonderful!

-How odd that Claudine is asking Maya why she’s even in the underground duels and says that Maya “doesn’t need them”. So does that mean these fights are for girls who are desperate to get to the top and feel there’s no other way? If so, then why is Maya there? Maya herself doesn’t give an actual answer. Hm.

-The curfew for the dorms is 6pm apparently but the duels obviously go way past that time and into the night. So there’s at least two possibilities here. One, the school is very much in on it so the curfew is null and void for the girls who fight that night. Or two, the dueling does indeed take place in a dream world or dreamlike world. The question is when do the girls enter it? How does the elevator work then? Do their real bodies go with them? Are they just teleported back into their beds afterwards? Or a mix of both, school is in on it and there’s some magic shit going on? Like the school knows but the audition duels are in a dreamlike place is what I mean. HM. There is so much we don’t know about the duels honestly. What are they hiding? And, how much do the Stage Girls really know?

--I’m thinking that it’s likely the duels are taking place in a dreamlike world, that would line up with Karen waking up in bed after them and line up with the girls being tired the next day. However I must point out that even if the audition duels do take place in a dreamlike world, it doesn’t make it less real. No the experience is very real it just takes place in a dreamlike reality (think like in the movies Inception or Paprika). The Stage Girls remember the duels and no these aren’t just normal auditions, we have zero evidence suggesting that still so I’d say get that idea outta yo head. 

I’m also thinking any wounds or hell even dying would all be temporary, like you’d wake up and you are fine physically. However emotionally not so much, you’d remember the experience of either dying or killing someone and that will probably fuck you up a bit, shit. And I think there is a way to die but it maybe only the Revue itself can do that. I’m guessing losing will really scramble your brain in some way. Oh dear.

-We see more of the Starlight play, so the summary I got right now for the plot of this play is this. Once upon a time there were two goddesses, they loved each other very much. But they both wanted to reach for a light high up in the sky, a star. So together they leave their nymphs friends (Idk are they nymphs or what) behind, and they go to the star. Both goddesses reach for the star but, the star fired a laser beam and shot one of the goddesses out of the sky. The other was being pulled into the star, unable to go back for her lover. So she turned her into sand to spare her a horrible death. They were forever separated, their dream could never come true. The End! Soooo this foreshadowing makes me nervous for the girls, I’ll talk about it more in the speculation part.

--Quick note here, I learned that the names of the two goddesses in the play are Claire and Flora. Now Flora is a latin name that means flower and is the name of the Roman goddess of flowers and plants. Interestingly, the school’s symbol is a flower! Or looks like one to me at least. Claire is also a latin name and it means bright, clear, and….famous. Hm, I think I’m gonna assume Claire is the goddess who didn’t die. Could be wrong though.

>IMMA FIRING MY SPECULATIONS! RAWR!

(Is that meme considered old now?)

-So is the legendary punishment legit or was their teacher just fucking with them? I suspect if it is, and if we see it, the punishment isn’t as bad as it’s rumored to be. If it is, maybe it's like the stage play. In the stage play, because Karen was late to class too many times I think, the girls got thrown into the fighty Greek Chorus hell pit. Most of them without weapons, at least Maya and Kuro went for using their bare hands instead. Wow. Death by greek chorus, what a way to go.

-I’m thinking that starlight equals radiance aka talent. The starlight gatherers thing I pointed out last week would match up to this idea.

-The penalty of losing too much in the auditions is that something important to Stage Girls is lost. I strongly think what they lose is their radiance aka starlight. Basically all their abilities they can use to perform. Maybe even weakening their bodies? My current thought for the truth about being Top Star is that Top Star is given all the radiance of the girls who lost, maybe used as a battery by the tiara but even just being given all the radiance is painful too. You’d be alone at the top, all your friends are gone and you’ve literally taken away everything they had. Basically the winner doesn’t even win, the only winner is the cruel system. 

So I got two ideas of where this could go, one is that the girls who lose become shells of their former selves after losing their starlight. Blank eyes, not very active, that kind of thing. And maybe the effect can be resisted for a little while but it will come for you in the end. And maybe it could even cause you to fade away into nothing but pink light....which is all over this anime. UM. OH GEEZ.

The other idea is that, the stage literally steals you away. If the idea is to give all the radiance at once to whoever the Top Star is, storing the losing girls would work too. Like the stage basically catches the losing girl, drags her under or upward (or even stage left or right) and then the girl is put in a deep sleep pretty much. They sleep in coffins or boxes until there is a Top Star, then they will be taken out and drained. This could be a good way for the school to not have to deal with zombie like girls, they can just say they are sick. Not like the other Stage Girls can tell anyone otherwise. What happens afterwards can’t say I know really. Could go with them fake joining the Starlight group like in my theory. Or they just bury whats left of the girls under the stage. Shit.

-Heres a theory that came to me while I was watching the stage version, the Starlight story isn’t made up. The myth is real. The goddess that lived is among them, maybe as the head teacher Souda-sensei? That would explain all the goddess symbolism, specially love goddesses because this one lost her lover and so did Inanna and Venus. It might also explain our Qilin, he is loyal to her. 

So if the goddess is real why is she here? Well, I think she did indeed take the star and stored it away. However, this goddess has become cruel. She had seen other women with their best friends and their lovers and became angry. Why do they get to keep who they love the most and she had to lose hers? So maybe this is a recreation, she might just be a goddess who loves theater and sees it as a good way to lure girls. She puts the same number of girls as there were goddesses or goddesses and their nymphs idk. They fight for the Top Star, fighting friends and lovers alike. And the girl that wins gains the star powers, but now she’s alone and she lost everything else. Just like the goddess herself, another lonely star.

>Bana-nice!

This was a nice breather episode! Got to hang with the girls more, got some more foreshadowing, got some more gay, it was fun! And it gave the animators a break! It looks like episode 5 is gonna be a doozy though, oh boy.

See you on the stage for episode 5!

[sunshine-babie]

okay so i just need to rant real quick and if anyone sees this and wants to message me w advice cool. if u see this and have no advice cool. if no one sees this cool. it just feels better once u get it out there u know??

so i met this guy in school right? HUGE flirt, especially with me. Even when he was dating other girls i could tell that he was super into me. Already, huge sign of a bad dude, right? Then he takes me out to a movie, and makes out with me the entire time, even asking for a blowjob, which i assumed was a joke. It wasnt :)))))))) turns out this “date” was a huge thing to get another girls attention. CUTE RIGHT !!! he apologizes a couple weeks later, only asking for my attention when i post a selfie that he seems to enjoy. Fast forward to senior year. he’s at school for a couple months, then all of a sudden he vanishes. Wow! BYE!

He started talking to me again when i was out of town, about a month ago, and he always talked about how much he liked me, how much he wanted to see me, cheesy shit blah blah blah. but then i get home, and i expect him to be like oh yes plz come see me now i want to see you (he lives about 30 mins away from me btw), but nothing. Not one single thing. He has continued to talk to me, telling me he loves me (not like in love, like i have love for you). But the cheesy shit was cut out.

Over the course of the trip I was on, i found out that he struggles pretty fucking hard with depression. Over the course of our “relationship”, I’ve discovered that the struggles are frequent and really really really fucking difficult. (sidenote: if u go way in depth into my acct you’ll see i made like 2 or 3 text posts about him and how much i worried about him overnight because he didnt reply to me, and me, being the overreactive girl i am, flippin out at 2am.) and i help out when and if i can, but sometimes you just gotta be depressed you know? theres nothing anyone can do to change the way people feel sometimes.

Now, about a month into everything, I still havent seen him. Even when he’s totally 100% not busy, he says nothing to me that says plz come see me. He only wants me to come see him when it’s 11pm and he’s horny (REMINDER: this dude lives 30 minutes away and he cant fucking drive, so I would have to drive half an hour to and from his house late at night). He never asks me what I’m doing, or how I am. Recently he’s even stopped saying I love you. Today he made a joke about HIV and how he was positive, and i still couldnt decipher if he was joking or not, regardless of the fact that he said he was. Tonight I tried to bring half of this stuff up, but after the first message, when he noticed he might get into a little trouble, he doesnt reply, probably pretending to go to sleep, even though I know that motherfucker is awake because he “slept” the majority of the day. and i cant ever stop thinking about how he treated me before all of this. He was so sly. I couldnt drive back then, so we got a ride from my MOM, who he was very polite to.

The more i write all of this, the more i realize what he’s doing to me. But I’m totally crazy for this guy man. He calls me baby or babygirl, i’m a puddle at his feet. He sends a selfie, you bet that shit is screenshotted. He’s depressed? i’m by his side always. i understand he’s so bad for me, but damn i really cant shake him.

My other excuse is that i dont want him to be sad about me deciding to cut him out (he probably wouldnt be anyways), and make his depression worse.

i’m sorry this is long and annoying. please give me any advice you have.

[the-little-red-noodle]

10/2/19 5:56am

This is the 2nd night in a row i have been keep up all night by thoughts, mostly about this boy.

I met him at larp. He’s a fairly powerful warden and sorcerer, and i met him (in game, in character) in a tavern. People were paying him to draw wards on them (which give you in game advantages). I always notice peoples teeth first, and he has really cute teeth and a really cute smile. He was very attractive. I asked what he was doing and he briefly explained what the wards are and i was like cool, and started to walk away, and then he was like “I’ll give you one for free” and reached out his hand to take mine. He drew an anti perm ward on my left hand and was really sweet about it. I said thanks and proceeded to leave the tavern. I kept thinking about him though.

It became a running joke between my closest friends and i that i was going to wander around and look for the hot mage. I didn’t have any other interactions with him at game, but i saw him around a couple times and would try not to stare too long.

After packing up and heading home, i texted patrick. He is in the same culture as the hot mage and so they interact a lot. I asked what his name was and proceeded to do a *very small* amount of fb digging, just to see if he was single, ya know just in case. I then went on the page where everyone was doing their post game posts so people can find each other and i saw his. I liked it, friended him, and wrote a little comment.

“Thanks for teaching me about warding in the tavern, you seem really cool and i hope we can interact more next game”. He liked it and commented back to talk him up about warding sometime. He friended me back and then liked my profile picture and i was like interesting...

I was planning for the long road. Give it a couple days then dm him about warding, or just conveniently show up at a combat practice where i knew he would be and be casual and flirty then. Or try to flirt with him next game, over a month from now. But then he dmed me.

“Hey i hope the warding stuff worked out alright. Your costume was very cute btw”

I saw this while texting my friends joking about “operation hot mage” and it being my characters one true objective to hook up with him ha ha it’s never gunna happen tho, and then he just slid in my dms and called me cute?? Like who is running this mod, it’s not realistic.

I sweat and overthink for a bit and then finally, with heavy encouragement from my friends, messaged him back.

“I remember you being exceedingly cute as well” and then i inmediately change the subject to talking about warding vs alchemy and i can’t decide HAHAHAHAHA

He replied with an “Awwh thanks ^-^” and then we discussed magic for a bit. Ya know, normal small talk things, apprentice vs journeyman scrolls, mana control, herbalism. Basic stuff.

Then he was like oh we also have a combat practice that meets every weekend, id love to see you there sometime. And i was like yeah sounds awesome, i hope to see you there and he was like “I would very much like that as well 😊”

So of course, based on this, i should overthink right? Because of course we’ll hook up and of course he’ll want to date me because of course I’m irresistible. But like.. none of that could be true. Maybe he was just being friendly, and then i made it weird calling him cute outright because he only said my outfit was cute, so really I’m the one who made it weird, and I’ll be super awkward next time i see him because of course i will because i don’t know how to flirt and of course I’ll say something wrong or I’ll be too enthusiastic or not enthusiastic enough and eveerything will be ruined.

And on top of those anxieties, it’s like, hey, even if all those (unlikely) assumptions are true, like.. am i even looking for a relationship? Like a truly monogamous relationship. Cuz i really like being with my goth couple and hanging out and hooking up with them and i like where the general friendship is going.. and then theres emily and we kinda have a thing right now, and we cuddle and are affectionate but it’s not a relationship and she might be ace so idk... then theres dempsey which is it’s own enormous can of worms that boils down to if we get together again, it’s for the long haul. So yes of course i want that, and i want to be with him again, but at this very moment, i don’t really want to give up my other interactions. Not because i want someone else to be my forever person, but because i want the experiences and i want to be single wnough to be in control of this sort of thing and i am right now, but then enter hot mage and my structure is breaking a little.

No joke this is the 2nd night in a row i have not slept because I’m thinking about him. I keep looking at screenshots of our conversations and this one photo i saved off of his fb because he has such a cute smile..

But I’m overthinking and that’s unhealthy. My therapist said the same thing after i was doing this nonsense when emily and i started hanging out more. I can’t let things sit for a minute. I wanna skip ahead and see how the story ends.

But i can’t really do that here until i see him. Cuz also, I’ve only interacted with Archmaster Kayn, not the real person. And based on his post game post, he is “not his character”. His character was just really suave and a little bit of an asshole but i was like 🤤.. so I’m eager to see what the real guy is like. Also notice i say guy and not his name because *sigh* his name is ryan and i feel like talking about a ryan usually is referring to dempsey so that’s something i gotta get used to.

I like him tho.. he’s so attractive and nerdy and has great hair.. all that’s left is actually talking to him in person out of character and seeing how we mesh then. Maybe he’s not even a little bit interested and i can move on. Or maybe he’s dtf which would be amazing. Or maybe he would want to date and id have to figure out if i want that or not.. or we could just be really good friends.

I’m kinda cool with whatever but i can’t stop thinking about it. I can’t put it out of my mind for long enough to focus on anything else. I can’t focus on school or friendships or any other potential relationship because i keep trying to remember what his voice sounded like, or trying to imagine what his personality is like, or trying think of things to talk to him about when i see him on saturday.. I’m so nervous about all of it.

It’s 6:30 in the morning and i haven’t had a minute of sleep tonight. Is this how it’s going to be until i see him? What if i waste all this sleep and time thinking about him and then i get in person and I’m like, meh. I’m over it. Cuz that’s happened before. I build things up in my head and then I’m disappointed by the outcome. And that wouldn’t even be his fault, cuz like he said, he’s not his character. So maybe i was just fawning over the suave hot mage when in reality he’s nothing like that..

I just can’t let it go. I find him so attractive.. it’s kind of pathetic. Why am i like this. Also, why must i get bored when it’s no longer a hunt?.. that’s probably why I’ve stayed so interested in emily because like nothing is set in stone and so much is up in the air that theres like still some work to do. And my mind likes a challenge. Hence i was gearing up for the long battle of ~make the hot mage fall in love with me over a series of months~ but then he just outright calls me cute and i have no idea what to do.

What if he’s creepy? What if he’s a virgin? What if he has no direction in life? What if he’s 45? What if he actually is an asshole?.. or a fuckboi, cuz christ i do not need another one. That’s why i like the nerdy boys cuz theyre so rarely also undercover assholes. Theyre usually cute and awkward and nervous but the payoff is amazing. Nerds tend to appreciate the hell out of their partners, plus i find them way more attractive usually than the pretty boy/fuckbois of the world.

I just wanna get to know him. I just wanna listen to him talk about magic. I just wanna sit on a park bench with him and talk about magic and maybe touch my knee to his. Really that’s all.

But here i am at almost 7am really just playing out every possible scenario.

What is i invite him over and he thinks my room is childish? Or he notices the rips in my comforter? What is he thinks I’m fat? Or he thinks I’m not as interesting in person and out of character as he thought.. even though my character is basically just me and talks and sounds almost exactly like me.

Still, what if he thinks I’m boring or dumb or since i don’t know game mechanics that I’m not worth talking to. What if xyz?

I really can’t eat or sleep these past two days. I can’t focus. I’m also like really horny cuz i haven’t gotten laid in 3 weeks which is a lot for me, so it’s possible that most of this is projected at poor hot mage because i need to get laid and he called me cute so therefore the hunt is on.

But also maybe i shouldn’t be meddling in peoples lives. When if he turns out to be really sweet and i just stomp in trying to hookup and hurt his feelings. I mean guys do that all the time but it’s different for me. Every guy I’ve hooked up with (except 3 ways with couples) has wanted a relationship with me so i kinda don’t know any better.

I want to sleep. I want to eat something. My stomach is hurting but I’m too tired to get up and feed myself. I just want to talk to him and compliment him and play dumb and pretend like i don’t understand the game mechanics of basic magic so that i can listen to him explain it to me..

What even am i doing