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#i just think iskall gives off those vibes.
theminecraftbee · 2 years
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you know what actually between iskall and stress my brain is convinced that iskall is the mom friend. i don’t know if i have actual justification for this. i think iskall would make fun of you the whole time but would also make sure you have a lunch packed with a warm soup and were home by eight, you know?
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fogwitchoftheevermore · 3 months
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TERRIBLE NEWS. TUMBLR HAS REMOVED MY ABILITY TO ADD POLLS TO REBLOGS???
anyways. i'm trying to decide where to put skizz and joel in the hermitcraft blaseball au.
skizz's team is already decided (he's on the lovers, duh). yes that's his team in the life series au too, it's not my fault he has a brand. i made these aus before secret life even started.
but joel is harder to decide so i'm giving the choice to you all, who i trust with joel opinions more than i trust myself.
i'll add my reasoning for the teams provided below the cut, alongside a list of all the other options, including which hermits are on which team if putting him on the same team as certain people matters to you.
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tokyo lift: other hermits already on the team include stress and false, who i think he'd have a fun dynamic with. i'm pretty sure the lift had a cyberpunk theme, as does joel this season. if he's on the lift i can justify drawing him with a pink streak instead of a green one. i'm also feeding into his ego here and putting him on the strong team.
yellowstone magic: he would be teammates with zed here, and i just think they would be very funny together. i can also justify dying his hair pink here, though it's much more magenta. also i think shrek would've lived in yellowstone. idk it feels right.
kansas city breath mints: i think joel would fit in with them vibes-wise (which is to say i think he would fail the bar exam). but i mostly included the breath mints in the poll because he would be teammates with cleo and gem.
breckenridge jazz hands: it would be pretty funny to shove joel in a room full of band kids, theater kids, resident mean girl iskall eightyfive, and xisuma. just imagine it with me. however. know that if you vote for joel to be on the jands, he will be making a brief cameo in my pearl/netty/jimmy precog trio fic that i'm working on as jimmy's replacement on the jands when he dies. for flavor!
anyways, other options!
hades tigers: only hermit teammate would be exil x, which is inherently a little hilarious. anyways these guys live in hell- not really. but they ARE fireproof!
mexico city wild wings: would make him teammates with hypno. all i really knew about the wings was spicy milk (exactly what it sounds like) and the time they tried to sue the entire league so. keep those facts in mind.
chicago firefighters: would make him teammates with tango. and also he would be a firefighter now. like, the profession. blaze joel afterlife smp likers i feel like this would appeal to you somewhat.
atlantis georgias: would make him teammates with xb. if he ends up on the georgias i'm turning him into a sea creature of some kind, so vote for what creature that is if you vote for this option.
philly pies: no hermit teammates here. all i remember about the pies off the top of my head is that they won the first two seasons of blaseball and then proceeded to never win a championship again.
new york millennials: would make him teammates with mumbo. and also housemates, because all the millennials live in an infinite apartment together, which feels appropriate for magic mountain. i could also make him pink here. however putting him on the mills would require me to type millennials more often, which is a word i cannot ever spell. would you do that to me? (/j)
seattle garages: would make him teammates with joe. one large band. if joel joins the garages i will be making him play the drums, of course. also i'll need to decide which garages song(s) i think he wrote.
dallas steaks: would make him teammates with beef. i don't know if i trust joel at a grill enough for this but i also don't know if i don't trust him.
san fransisco lovers: would make him teammates with ren (team captain), skizz, and wels. wow you've found one of the hermit hot spots. anyways this would put him in a medieval-themed, team-wide polycule.
core mechanics: would make him teammates with doc and keralis. i do think this would be an extremely funny trio. these guys live in the core of the world and build cool robots and things.
hellmouth sunbeams: would make him teammates with impulse. the moab desert fell into a hellmouth in season 1, so all the beams are Weird now. joel joining the beams would also make him Weird.
houston spies: would make him teammates with pearl. netty and jimmy were also spies before they died but idk if that'll be relevant to joel idk when i'm inserting him into these teams. anyways top secret escapades on the spies. also they have a secret base on the moon.
miami dale: would make him teammates with scar. the dale are the party time capital of the world and were the last team to ever make the playoffs, qualifying for the first time in SEASON FIFTEEN OF TWENTY FOUR. they never won an internet series but that's less of an accomplishment.
la unlimited tacos: would make him teammates with grian. the tacos tried to do a strike against god one time (it didn't work out but i respect the commitment)
boston flowers: no hermit teammates here. this was my team when blaseball was running and it would make me happy to put a hermit on it but it doesn't feel right for joel unfortunately. i can be convinced, however.
ohio worms: would make him teammates with wormman (aka zedaph in a disguise) and be coached by tfc. the worms are worms. they're in the dirt. self explanatory.
hawai'i fridays: would make him teammates with bdubs. this is also esmp 1 joel's team in the empires au which isn't relevant but is a fun fact (esmp 2 joel is on the lovers). the fridays have a cool goddess and good vibes. except for that time they all died. don't worry they got better.
canada moist talkers: would make him teammates with etho. i don't know if joel could survive in the cold but maybe i'm wrong maybe he'd be fine. maybe he's withstand it just to stake his claim as #1 ethogirl.
charleston shoe thieves: would make him teammates with cub and jevin. would also (maybe) make him get cursed by god but don't worry about that part, worry about the thieves guild he's joining.
baltimore crabs: would make him teammates with helsknight only. also inherently hilarious. this is the divorcee zone also there's a long dead crab goddess in the chesapeake and if you join the crabs parts of your body will slowly turn into crab. we have fun in baltimore.
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I see a lot of deep, angsty, etc. headcannons on here (sorry it’s really late I can’t think of any better words to describe these haha) but not nearly enough nice and wholesome, fun, quality of life headcannons so without further ado~
1: Zed is definitely the type of person to shove your face into the cake/shove cake in your face on your birthday even though you told him not to. (I’m hoping this is a normal thing people do on birthdays that have cake and my family isn’t just weird lol)
2: Ren did theater in highschool, hence his love for acting and talent regarding music
3: Grian’s parents made and sold clothes for a living, and he would often help out, and he still loves to make new outfits for his friends and himself, though maybe he has a tad too many...nah
4: Stress was a girl scout. No particular reason just gives off those vibes ya know?
5: Iskall and stress have karaoke night sleepovers every now and then. Sometimes they invite some other hermits too!
I’m gonna stick with five for now, maybe I’ll throw in some more some other time when I feel like we could use some nice wholesome headcannons ^^
-Rookie anon
Rookie I owe you my life.
– Stress taught Ren and Iskall how to make flower crowns, back before Hermitcraft, and when she finally joined they begged her to join them in making some new ones as a celebration. It was a lovely afternoon, they all got sunburned.
– It's already canon that Team ZIT share any and all resources. How could you get more wholesome than that.
- Mod Dragon
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scp-10000 · 3 years
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Coal Fighting Hermits
(Keep in mind this is all just personas.  Myself and The Hermits aren’t fighting in real life.  Also, my minesona’s a half dragon, half eldritch horror who solves most of her problems by bitting, scratching, and slapping them with her bone tail.)  I’m joining this quick trend started by @shadeswift99.  Let’s go.  Time for a bored and combative lizard to fight some Hermits.
Bdubs: Yeah he’s a feral man like two seconds from snapping, and he has 3 knives and a machete under his shirt.  I’ve made worse decisions.  10/10 Would fight.  5/10 I’m sure it’d be even enough for it to be fun.
Cubfan: You see, I wouldn’t be able to fight him.  I’d lunge at him, and using his Vex Magic, he’d rob me, and teleport far away before I even lay a claw on him; doesn’t even matter if I only have 5 cool bones and 50 shiny rocks, bastard’d steal’um to spite me and bail.  10/10 Would fight to get all my stuff back.  1/10 I’m not getting my stuff back.
DocM: Draconic Eldritch Abomination vs Buff Creeper Cyborg Man with a Rocket Launcher Arm.  That sounds like a dumb action movie, and I live for it.  I’d only fight Doc if someone was recording it, cause even if I lose, it’d be entertaining as all hell.  10/10 Would fight.  1/10 I sure as hell ain’t winning, lets be real.
Etho: Cryptid who likes dropping anvils.  Sounds like a fun fight.  8/10 Would fight if bored.  2/10 Probably would only win if Etho got bored mid fight and just left.
False: The Queen of Hearts, Heads, and Body Parts.  I’d definitely fight her if I wanna die, but knowing my luck, the univers’ll have her spare me as punishment for all my sins.  10/10 Would totally die.  6/10 I’d be disappointed if I live.
Grian: Now, half the fandom’s like “gRiAn HaS sHoRt FeRaL eNeRgY,” which I’ll admit he probably does; problem is I’m 5′7, so that ain’t gonna help him.  Now Grian is also a good ambusher, which probably would help him because I’m shite at finding targets I’ve lost track of.  If I lose track of Grian in this fight, he’d totally be able to ambush me.  6/10 It’s not one I really think’d be fun.  4/10 Eh.
Hypno: No, I will not fight the vibing man.  1/10 Not unless I need this for the main quest or something.  5/10 I’m guessing it’d probably be even.
Impusle: No, I’m not going after the vibing totem man either.  1/10 Dude probably has a hotbar full of totems.  6/10 Again, totems.
Iskall: For some odd reason, I get the feeling if I attack Iskall, it’d eventually turn into him seeing how bad a fighter I truly am, and he’ll end up trying to teach me.  10/10 I’m not passing up an opportunity to be taught.  4/10 Even at my best, I’d still have a lot to learn.
Jevin: Bitting, scratching and tail slapping’d probably split him into an army of smaller, angry Jevins, and I’m not dealing with that. 1/10 No.  1/10 No.
Joe: I wouldn’t fight this man, but I would bring him to Cleo in case she wanted to take his knee caps.  10/10 What if Cleo needs his kneecaps?  10/10 I’mm’a get Cleo those kneecaps.
Keralis: My claws are too curved to just poke him in the eyes.  Besides, it’d probably be more fun to watch him struggle and squirm like he did when Etho tried to kill him.  8/10 Would fight.  5/10  Losing would probably be me getting bored and leaving Papa K alone.
Mumbo: Unlike half the fandom, I don’t see Mumbo as a lanky boy.  He also does Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, and I don’t, so that’s gonna be a fight.  Granted, Mumbo’s a giant, non-confrontational dork, so that makes my choice harder.  5/10 Would I even fight him?  5/10 I’d probably stand a chance.
Rendog: Yeah, my brain doesn’t short circuit when I run into horny.  At best it’s acknowledged when I’m not set on murder.  7/10 I might ask him to square up if I’m bored.  5/10 Might be an even fight.
Scar: Same situation as Cub, but not at the same time?  Let me explain.  There’s a chance he’ll cast the same spell as Cub, but there’s also a chance he’ll forget to, and I can get a swipe on him before...well have yall seen that video where a dog attacks a kid on a bike, and then the cat comes out to mess up the dog?  Imagine I’m the dog, Scar’s the kid, and Jellie’s the cat, and you’ll know how well that fight’ll go.  0/10 No.  0/10 No.
Stress: This girl can carry massive pumpkins halfway across the server on one strength potion.  I’d fight her just to see how far she can yeet me.  10/10 For the yeet.  4/10 If she doesn’t yeet me, it might not go well.
Tango: This man builds massive minigames, and wrangles ravagers.  I more feel like I’d get trapped in a moving maze to fight ravagers for like half an hour before he gets bored watching me struggle.  9/10 It’d be a fun way to spend an afternoon.  4/10 Doesn’t mean I’m good at fighting ravagers without full iron armor.
TFC: I respect the man of the earth too much to fight him.  1/10 No.  1/10 No.
Vintage Beef: The blood on his apron does not override his vibing man vibe.  1/10 No.  5/10 If I must, I feel like I’d have a fair shot.
Wels: He’d probaby come up with some sick diss track lyrics on the fly... and then have to teach me how to rap battle after I say “I don’t get it.”  1/10 I don’t think this’d even qualify as a fight.  3/10 I feel like my poetry skills are lacking.
xB: Another vibe man.  No, I shall not fight him.  1/10 No.  5/10 I probably could do decent if I had to.
Xisuma: I’d attack him thinking since he’s a bee, one sting and he’s done, only for him to use his formal Doom Guy Training:tm: to body slam me so hard I’m banned from the server.  10/10 For the meme.  1/10 I’m not avoiding that body slam.
Zedaph: You all are thinking “Funny contraption man can’t fight,” when from what I remember of @lyraeon and I talking about the subject once is in PvP, Zed’ll run at you swinging and screaming.  To me, this is a more fair assessment of Zed’s abilities, and is what I’m going off of when thinking about if I’d fight him.  Thought, I probably won’t attack if he’s working on something.  5/10 Right now, he’s the only vibing man I might actually consider fighting?  5/10 Might be an even fight.
Zombie Cleo: She won’t fight me.  Instead she’ll convince me to let her set up an army of living armor stands to fight.  I would not attack her cause she’d give me more stuff to fight when I’m bored and combative.  1/10 No, I’m not fighting my supplyer.  1/10 If she decided to sick an army of armor stands on me, I’d probably lose.
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riacte · 3 years
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Happy Birthday to HC7!
Wow man, I can’t believe it’s an actual year... so I’mma go off the tangent for a bit.
I’ve been following HC since May 2019, but I only watched Grian (and eventually Ren) in HC6, so when HC7 started, I was excited to branch out. Unfortunately I couldn’t watch as many episodes as I like but still, I feel like I’ve known a lot more about the hermits and their projects this season!
The beginnings of HC7 always gives me good vibes. It’s just so... humble. Magical. Exciting. The hermits are stripped off their elytras and rockets and gear and shulker boxes and they have to start from the beginning, in the old-school way. And you get to see them do all their crazy grinds and builds from the very start, when they had nothing but determination and motivation.
I was also really proud of how the hermits grew MASSIVELY in the beginnings of HC7, especially Scar and Iskall. I was ecstatic to see more hermits reach 1mil subscribers, because they deserve that and so much more. HC fandom was also growing exponentially, with many fancontent made of wizard Scar and Pesky Bird and Bumbo Baggins and the infamous Doc-Bdubs divide (I mean, they’re the popular creators, but it still makes me super happy and gives out the GoodVibes). I remember staying up till 3am, totally engrossed in HC fanfic.
I know for y’all in the Western world, HC7 starts with quarantine and Covid, but since I’m in Asia, Covid has already been going on for like two months when HC7 began. The hermits provided a lot of comfort for me when I was sad or just bored. Like... the world is changing, but Hermitcraft is still there, as cheesy as it sounds.
I remember the night the HC7 E1 episodes were uploaded, I was vibrating with excitement. I was telling my friends to watch them. I had no idea who to watch first but I remember I clicked Impulse. I stayed up past 12am and I think I watched most of Doc’s episode and wondered why tf did I stick to Grian when there’s so much more out there.
Gradually more episodes came out, including those of my faves Grian, Scar, and Ren. And I was super mega happy to see Grian and Scar be neighbours because that’s all I wanted in S6, actually. A proper collab between those two crazy builders and cat lovers with chest monsters. And I was beyond excited to see that practically everyone I watched at that time (Grian, Mumbo, Scar, Stress, Iskall) lived in the same jungle. (Ren was the exception but he later moved in and I kinda lost it).
Early HC7 Jungle Gang and their builds have a very special place in my heart just because it’s so hopeful and funny and full of possibilities. I loved watching Grian annoy Mumbo, I loved every bit of Scar’s magical village, I loved Iskall bringing a brown panda to Stress’ place as a gift. Bdubs VS Doc was also extremely entertaining, and I still laugh over how cute BeeDoubleO is. And Ren! Ren’s Loser Island was so quaint and charming and cute and I’m so sad he blew it up lol. Something about his starter base just gets me. I even modified my survival starter base after his.
And the streams! The stream weekends! I was never into watching streams but HC7 convinced me. The hermits saw that we liked them, and kept on making them. I don’t remember a lot about the streams, but I do remember popping into Ren’s late at night, and he talked about living alone and the pandemic and how this Minecraft stream united people from all over the world, and he started listing out the countries people wrote down in chat, and I just started crying. It sounds stupid and parasocial, but fuck man, I really love the hermits.
I remember when there was a time Ren uploaded at 12am Saturday for me, so when I had a rough week, I would tuck myself into bed and refresh my feed until I saw Ren’s new weekly episode. (Ren’s my comfort YouTuber.) It was like... a habit of me, like when I felt bad I would be like “at least there’s gonna be a new Rendog episode by the end of this horrible week :D”. And that made me happy.
And then it sort of became a habit... I watched different hermits according to my moods. Whenever I felt more attentive, I watched Grian. Tired and bored? Stress. Wanted to calm down? Xisuma. Wanted to laugh? Bdubs. And when I just wanted some comfort? Ren.
Hermitcraft and its community has given me a lot of joy. I would go longer about how I met friends etc etc but I started being active because of Blue Bats lmao, and that’s a different story.
Just wanna send the hermits and the community some love <33 sorry this got so long lol, I really am very nostalgic haha.
To me, there really is something magical about Hermitcraft, and I don’t fully understand it, but maybe that’s the beauty of it.
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Shsjsj Halloween prompt 38 with architechs? They’d probably get into some scooby doo shenanigans except ghosts are real
38. “There’s no such thing as ghosts.”
okay so i might’ve... gone off a little bit. this is more mystery incorporated shenanigans than normal scooby. mumbo-centric, the architechs go to a haunted house that may, in fact, be haunted. mumbo pays the price.
featuring: could a visit to a haunted house go any worse, mumbo is very interesting to local ghost population, unfortunately for him, real life au, mumbo's surprisingly resourceful considering, sometimes you just need two ghost girls to tell u to get moving, angst/comfort, horror vibes, happy ending
warnings: violence, knife violence, possession, referenced murder of children and adults, graphic injuries, blood, mumbo gets a lil messed up, but nobody dies who isn’t already dead
"Why did I let you two drag me into this?" Grian is checking the time on his phone whilst Iskall holds Mumbo's hand like he's about to run off. Which, Mumbo would, actually. Given half a chance he'd be catching the first bus out of here. Iskall raises his free hand in a shrug, smirking at Mumbo's question.
"We hardly dragged you, if I remember, you agreed willingly." Iskall leans closer as he teases him, poking Mumbo's cheek with the cool finger of his prosthetic. 
Mumbo sighs, batting the finger away, "I agreed so you'd both stop asking! I didn't think we'd actually do it." Grian slips his phone into his pocket, rocking onto his heels. The look on his face is smug.
"Mumbo, you should know us better than that by now." 
Iskall hums high in agreement, "Don't tell us you're scared." 
"Lil scaredy Mumbo~." Mumbo brushes them away with a shake of his head. He can't believe he's friends with the two of them, he really can't. 
"It's a haunted house, I'm supposed to be afraid!" He points out. "Additionally, I think it's kinda bad taste to have a haunted house set in an actual haunted manor. Surely that's disrespectful." Grian pulls Mumbo's other hand free, him and Iskall holding one each. Stepping backwards as they move up the line, Mumbo frowns when his foot gets caught in the roots overwhelming mossy, cracked stone planters. He glances down the line, unsure how he didn't notice them bordering this section of the queue before.
"Mumbo, you do know there's no such thing as ghosts, right? You are aware of this fact?" Iskall's voice, despite its taunting nature, has a hint of seriousness to it. Mumbo's attempt at a word disintegrates into several noises instead. Of course, that only encourages Iskall to laugh, throwing his head back at the force of it. Grian slides up to Mumbo's shoulder, bumping into it.
"It's okay, Mumbo, we'll protect you from the spooky ghosts!" Grian sing-songs 'spooky' for extra effect. That effect is making Mumbo want to hit him. Unfortunately, he can't, because they're both still holding his hands. Mumbo stares into the cold fluorescent lights instead, ignoring them. Grian laughs, Iskall quick to join him.
Mumbo will give it to the organisers, they know how to set a scene. Outside of the bustling noise and lights of the queue, the grounds are as black as the night sky overhead. The overgrown lawn brushes the stone foundation they're waiting on; blades of grass occasionally tickling his ankle as he shuffles from foot to foot. His shoes are still muddy from when they were queuing on the lawn further back. He's glad they got off that section. If he had to listen to Grian and Iskall guess what shape the topiaries used to be for much longer he would've gone insane. Another scream from within the house makes him jump, gripping Iskall's hand tighter out of instinct. Iskall throws him a smirk, and blessedly doesn't comment. Small miracles. 
"We're nearly at the entrance!" Grian whispers, voice high with excitement. His fingers trace the stone wall of the house as they move. They lift when he reaches the wooden trim of a boarded up window, paint flaking under Grian's touch. He cringes, flicking the dried paint off his skin. Mumbo smiles to himself and pretends not to look. 
"After what, an hour and a half?" Iskall asks, his voice as tired as Mumbo's feet feel. Grian checks his phone with a hum.
"More like an hour and a quarter." The bright screen lights his face with an eerie glow until he shuts it off. Iskall sighs, the dramatic nature overtaken by a piercing scream that sounds like it's on the other side of the wall next to them. The three of them freeze up, before they shake their heads with gentle laughter, normal conversation resuming.
"Have we got any signal yet?" Iskall asks. 
"Nope!" Grian pops the word. At Iskall's groan, he laughs. "It's not my fault you're so addicted to social media."
"Not everybody can be so dedicated to our jobs," Iskall replies. Mumbo finds himself distracted by something out in the darkness of the lawn. It looks like two children, running in circles after each other. Their dresses look wholly impractical for the chill in the air. And too fancy for the muddy grass. Who would bring their children to a haunted house anyway? Staff members, maybe? Irresponsible parents?
His foot catches on a crack in the concrete, stumbling forward instead of a step. Iskall steadies him with the grip on his hand and Grian is quick to grab his shoulders. The two of them haul him upright again. Grian's smile is more amused than Iskall's concerned frown.
"You alright, dude?" He asks, checking Mumbo over carefully. Mumbo shakes his head, trying to dispel Iskall's worry.
"No, I'm fine. Foot got caught. I was watching the kids out on the-" Where he's pointing is empty. There are no white flashes of fabric where the children were, only the dark murkiness of night. "Oh. Well, they were there." Grian stares out into the lawn, skeptical.
"You sure you weren't seeing things, Mumbo?" Grian's voice is disbelieving, an edge of teasing slipping in.
"No, I- I swear they were right there. Two girls." He blinks, unsure where the two must have gone. He wasn't looking away for that long, but children are pretty fast.
"Maybe you saw some ghosts," Iskall joins the teasing. Mumbo huffs at them both, crossing his arms now Iskall has finally released his hand. 
"You two are the worst," he decides. 
"Spooky!" Grian sings, pulling himself onto Mumbo's shoulder as they step forward again. He feels a heavy relief as they finally round the corner and the dark porch comes into view. It looks like it's been restored, the paint on the wood shiny compared to the rest of the house. Although looking towards the roof of the porch, those metal spikes should've been left out. Someone could hurt themselves on those. Thankfully, the window above is boarded up.
"Finally," Iskall sighs, his shoulders slumping as the ticket checker comes into view. "Grian, you got them ready?" Grian hums, unzipping his coat pocket and pulling out the printed tickets. 
"Right here!" He holds them up proudly. Mumbo twists around to see the ticket man. The clothes look pretty authentic. A neat waistcoat, a chain coming from the pocket, well-fitting slacks. A couple passes their tickets over, smiling as he takes them. Then the man takes out a straight-up pocket watch. They're… Really going for this, aren't they? Mumbo sticks his own hands in his jean pockets. He prefers modern comforts. 
There are only a few more people ahead of them now. Mumbo shifts from foot to foot, his toe catching on the red carpet leading inside. He sighs. He's doomed to trip over everything tonight, isn't he? He looks up to find Grian looking at him, excitement in his expression. He tries to smile back, moving up to a drawn line on the carpet. There's nobody else in front of them now. Oh, they're actually doing this.
Upon a wave from the staff member, the trio heads up to the rope barrier. Past the entrance, the hallway splits into two, wooden signs marking each way. Yet, Mumbo can't help but be drawn to the bored-looking staff member as he holds his hand out. His eyes are a pale blue, almost white. Mumbo shudders when those eyes stare directly at him. He's quick to look away. This place is getting to him. Grian enthusiastically passes over their tickets, oblivious to the exchange beside him. 
"Three adults," he says. The man nods, looking over each ticket and checking the time on his pocket watch. He punches a hole through the corner of each one before handing them back. 
"Keep your tickets on you in case they need to be checked." Grian nods, giving Mumbo and Iskall their own ticket. Mumbo slips it into his pocket without checking. He printed them out earlier today at Grian's pestering. "And you'll need to leave your bag in the cloakroom, sir." The staff member gestures at the brown rucksack on Iskall's back. Iskall puts a hand on the strap, the bag containing their personal belongings. "It's a secure locker system, you only have to give them to the staff member there and you'll receive a wristband." They gesture down the second corridor, away from the queue and the noise.
"I can take it," Mumbo suggests. He could use a breather before they head into the attraction. Usually, he'd find his friends' excitement contagious, but right now it's only leaving him more unsettled. Iskall loosens the strap, sliding it off his back.
"You sure you won't get lost the moment we aren't holding your hands?" Iskall teases as he hands the bag to him. Mumbo rolls his eyes, slinging it over one of his shoulders. 
"Surprisingly, I don't think I'll get lost simply going up a corridor." Grian steps forward, unbuttoning his red coat to reveal the just as red jumper underneath.
"Can you take my coat too?" Mumbo lays it over one of his arms, watching Grian grin. "Thanks, Mumbo, love you." Mumbo shakes his head, already taking a step towards the separate corridor and past the now-open rope barrier. 
"I'll meet up with you guys in a minute," he tells them, precious cargo in hand. Grian and Iskall smile, Iskall offering a wave as they go ahead to join up with the queue.
"We won't go in without you!" Grian calls. Mumbo huffs a laugh.
"I'd prefer it if you did!" He calls in return. He watches until the two vanish behind the wall, their giggles merging into the crowd. The couple behind them are already joining the queue. Mumbo sighs, turning and checking the neat wooden sign before heading up the corridor. He's definitely going the right way. 
Metal sconces light the wall, a dim light against dark, ornate wallpaper. He doesn't realise how quiet it's grown until he can hear the wooden floor creak beneath the carpet. He cringes at the sound, pleased when he reaches another rope, blocking off the corridor and directing him into a smaller room. He looks around at the wooden bookshelves, a cushioned seat in the corner. Another staff member (he hopes) leans on a doorway inside, reading a hardcover book. Mumbo hesitates before he approaches.
"Hey, uh, are you taking the bags? For the cloakroom?" Dark eyes look up to him. It's a woman this time, hair tied back into a neat ponytail. She's also wearing a waistcoat, Mumbo assumes it must be their uniform.
"That would be me," the woman tells him, placing her book on the side table. Mumbo passes over the bag and coat, shrugging off his own to add to them. She disappears into the back room. Mumbo tries to peer in, but it's so dark he can't see anything. How can she tell where she's going? She comes back, presenting him with a wristband, an intricate pattern on both sides of the plastic. Mumbo takes it, frowning as he twirls it in his hand. 
"Doesn't it have a number on it?" He asks, a little curious about what kind of system they're using here. The woman shrugs her shoulder.
"Doesn't need one," she tells him. She reaches over to pick up her book again, flicking it open. "Have a nice stay." Mumbo's mouth remains open for a few seconds too long before he realises he's been dismissed. At least this will make an interesting story to tell the other two. He steps back into the corridor, focusing on slipping the wristband on. Then he looks up and stops. The rope barrier is gone. For a moment he's unsure if he imagined it, but he's certain that there was a barrier here. And a sign. Glancing into the room, the staff member is gone too. Okay, right. He can figure this out.
He looks down both sides of the hallway, trying to guess what direction he came from. They're identical, carpeted floor and metal sconces leading off into darkness. Even the panelling on the wall below the patterned wallpaper offers no clues. With a sigh, he sticks his hands into his pockets, resting over his phone. Listening, the manor is quiet. He can't hear the occasional screaming, although there's some creaking overhead. Helpful. Well, it was just a straight walk to the entrance, wasn't it? He can follow the corridor and come back if he notices something unfamiliar.
His steps are more cautious as he starts down the hall. He's never going to hear the end of it if he actually gets lost. Certainly not down a straight corridor. He'd like to keep his dignity tonight, please. Whatever is left of it. Except, he's fairly certain the hall wasn't this long. Nor did he notice this musty smell until now. He touches a finger to his nose, scrunching it up. It smells like wet paper. Or… something like that, at least. 
Giving up on this direction, he turns and goes the other way. From the outside, the manor didn't even look this big. This time, he takes more note of the closed doors lining the hall. The wooden frames match the doors, with a carved arch above each one. He pauses to look at the sculpted wood. A shield sits on top of twisted ribbon, although whatever was on the shield has been scratched off to reveal pale wood beneath. He walks to the next door only to find the same thing. Somebody didn't like the family coat of arms, then. It's the same down the entire corridor - the wood broken and splintered away. 
He nearly jumps when he finds himself back in the entrance hall. The front door is shut. Mumbo didn't think this shut until later? Maybe they hit capacity. He tilts his head in the direction of the queue, surprised when he hears silence. Surely Grian and Iskall would be waiting for him somewhere, right? That same ticket person with the spooky eyes is at the door. Mumbo steels himself before approaching him.
"Um, sir?" He gets no response from the man. He stares at the door as if Mumbo hadn't spoken. Mumbo closes the distance, coming up behind him. "Excuse me?" He reaches out to tap his shoulder, wondering if he's wearing headphones Mumbo hasn't spotted. 
Mumbo's fingers go straight through his shoulder.
There's a brief, still second where nothing moves. Mumbo stares at his hand in shock, hanging inside the now transparent arm. His mouth opens, brain desperately trying to catch up with this new situation. The rest of his body kicks in, pulling him away, clutching his hand like he's been burnt. His fingers are freezing, colder than they were after being stood in that queue. In a panic, he glances upwards, searching for a projector of some kind. 
"It has to be," he murmurs. His gentle voice feels so loud in the entrance. Like laughter in a graveyard. He didn't see the floor up above the first time he entered, or the huge black chandelier that seems to be waving in an absent breeze. There's no tell-tale flicker of a projector. Oh jeez. He turns back to the door.
Those eyes are right in front of him.
A shout gets caught in his throat, body tumbling over and into the wall behind him in his attempt to fling himself away. His fingers press into the carpet beneath him, legs shuffling backwards until his back is straight against the wall. The man is still walking towards him and Mumbo genuinely thinks his heart couldn't beat harder if it tried.
"Sir, I am so sorry, I'm a little lost right now and- oh goodness I put my hand through your shoulder, what is happening-?" Whether the man hears him or not is impossible to tell, but Mumbo has a sinking feeling nothing good is going to happen if he touches him. He's only getting closer and Mumbo is running out of options here.
A few things happen in quick succession.
First, the man reaches his hand out towards Mumbo, lips pulling into an unnaturally wide smile on a face that has only seemed disinterested until now. Second, Mumbo throws himself to the side, landing on his hands on the carpet beside him and trying to scramble to his feet. Third, the room plunges into darkness.
Mumbo falls straight into the wall, nails scratching the wood to pull himself up. He can't make out anything. He feels around him blindly, finding an empty space and taking quick, clumsy steps into it. He blinks hard. Once, twice. The world is still dark. Except, as he raises his arm to feel in front of him again, except for that wristband. 
He presses against the wall, checking from side to side as if he could see any threat coming for him. Convincing himself he's at least somewhat safe, he examines the wristband. The strange pattern in the plastic is glowing. It's literally glowing. He traces along the indent first, but can't spot any hidden LEDs. Then he tries to take the band off. The band does not come off.
"Oh, this is ridiculous." He can't even fit his nails underneath the plastic. This has to be a joke, right? Some kind of big misunderstanding? He fumbles in his pocket until he's pulling out his phone, even more relieved now that he didn't leave it in his coat. The screen lights up, making his hands silver in its glow. It's nearly midnight. He groans in frustration when he remembers that, of course, there's no signal. Not even for emergency calls. He's an idiot. Unlocking the screen, he goes to the one thing his phone can be useful for.
He hovers over the button before switching on the flashlight, chest tight until he confirms there's no man (ghost, was that a ghost? It can't be-) waiting for him. He swings the light around him nervously, trying to figure out where he is. He doesn't even remember entering a door, but it seems like he's in a living room of some kind. There's a stone fireplace in the wall, comfortable chairs and a large love seat. Lingering on the fireplace, he's distracted from the stonework by the charred wood and ash gathered at the bottom. There's still a hint of amber in the embers, letting off so little light it's barely noticeable. Was it on recently? He doesn't feel it in the air, his arms having broken into goosebumps under his dress shirt. 
The other people waiting for the attraction can't have moved too far, and Grian and Iskall should be with them. He takes a deep breath, calming his thoughts and steadying himself. Yeah. He just needs to find everyone else. They should have lights, and people, and hopefully staff members he doesn't put his hand through. Perfect. 
He creeps to the doorway, careful to shine his phone through it first. The hallway looks identical. Though, when he looks closer, it's in better condition to the other side. Towards the ceiling, where wallpaper was ripped to show the broken plasterboard beneath, it's immaculate. He catches the shine of wood over the door. The coat of arms is intact. He takes in the dragon on the shield. It's pretty cool, he wonders why it was broken in the other hall. 
Only when he's sure the hallway is safe does he continue down it. He guesses how far away the queue must be. Worst case, they've taken them somewhere safe and out of the way. Hopefully Grian and Iskall have raised the alarm for him. He's keeping an eye out for any staff members or… anyone, actually. He'd just like to see another person in the darkness.
He cringes as a creak pierces the air, lifting his foot quickly. He hates old houses. He hates them so much. As he hovers his phone over it, though, the carpet even looks fluffy. That's absurd. He shakes it off and attempts to tread lighter, the little it helps. His creaking steps and soft breaths are the only things he can hear. He'd think as he got closer to the others, he might hear them but there's nothing so far. It's unnerving. As if he isn't unnerved enough. 
He stops so quickly he nearly loses his footing at a flash of white down the hallway. He holds the light over the open doorway. It wasn't the right height to be that man. Perhaps another person? He steps forward, attempting to peek into the room.
He calls a nervous, "Hello?" Then realises he sounds like every white person in a horror movie. He stills when a face peers around the door. It's one of the children from earlier. This close, the girl is unnaturally pale, with almost a glow to her. Mumbo relaxes a little anyway, relieved to see a kind of familiar face. He crouches down to her height. "Hey, do you know where anyone is? Your parents maybe? I'm a little lost." She edges out from behind the door, neat white dress following her. It's lacy around the top, a line towards the bottom marking out wavy fabric around her feet. Which, he notices, don't have any shoes on.
When she speaks, it's with a gentle echo, like a song, "You can see me?" Mumbo frowns, watching her small hand push away some of the tight waves that have fallen from her braid.
"Yes? Why wouldn't I-" He's cut off when the girl's mouth drops open. She steps away from him, taking a deep breath. Mumbo's not sure what he's done wrong when she screams. He has to raise his hands to his ears, flinching at the high sound. Despite his phone's light pointing away, he can still see her clearly. Especially as she turns and runs. Straight… straight through a wall. Mumbo would very much like off this ride now. He pushes himself upright on his knees and freezes. He can feel something staring at him. She wasn't reacting to him, was she? Brandishing his phone in front of him, he spins, dragging his feet down the corridor. 
The man is walking slowly towards him. One foot after the other. Purposeful. Mumbo shivers, can't look into those eyes.
"What do you want?" He demands. "I'm honestly very confused right now, and I'd really like some answers." He walks backwards, keeping distance between them both. 
"It's been a long time since we've had a guest like you." Mumbo swears that voice wasn't so deep before. It's almost static around the edges, hurting Mumbo's ears. "You'll make a wonderful addition to the house." Mumbo pulls himself up taller, straightening his back.
"That's- that's a really nice offer but I'm really, very happy with my current job! I'm sorry but I'm not on the market right now!" There's no break in pace. Only the return of that smile, looking too big, too tight. Like the face it's on isn't made for it. 
"I think your spirit would be perfect to mould." The words make Mumbo's chest seize in terror. He doesn't need to understand the full implication behind them to realise that's not good. 
"Okay. Don't really want that. If you could just- I don't know, let me leave? Find my friends?" That is not the face of someone who's going to let him leave. His back knocks into a wall. He glances around him, panic consuming any rational thought. He's breathing too fast but it feels like he isn't breathing at all. There, next to him. Wooden stairs, twisting up into darkness. He looks at the approaching man and the hall he's backed into. There's nowhere else to go.
He leaps the first two stairs, one of his hands catching himself on the wood to push himself up. The light around him swings wildly as he struggles to keep his phone steady. Using his hand and feet, he scarpers to the landing, falling back onto carpet edged with small metal grippers, shaped like studded semi-circles. He drags himself up using the wall, swaying on his feet and taking deep breaths.
The man doesn't suddenly appear behind him, but Mumbo isn't taking any chances. He searches the immediate area and finds only one direction available. He hopes the others are nearby and runs down the hallway, hoping to put as much distance between him and that man as possible. There are no lights on up here either, but as he gets around, he realises that the windows aren't boarded up. Instead, a full moon shines bright silver light into the manor. Mumbo checks the time on his phone as turns off the torch. He needs to save battery.
It's nearly midnight. His lip twists. Did he read it wrong before? He must have. He was panicking. It makes sense. He's still got plenty of charge too, which is a relief. However, his hope that the change in height would give him service is quickly dashed. Obviously, he can't have too many good things. 
He comes to a stop upon reaching a branch in the hallway. There are two directions he could go. Neither has an obvious sign stating, 'This way!' It would've been nice. So he picks the left for no other reason than maze logic. Always follow the left wall. It also seems more lit up, which is vastly preferable to the darkness in other parts of the manor. It smells less of dust up here, too. He can smell something distantly flowery. Maybe the garden is in better condition than the front lawn? 
Since he's on the top floor, he takes the opportunity to look into some of the rooms. Mostly bedrooms, he notices. A lot of the beds are pristinely made, sheets looking like they've been washed recently. In one room there's a half-full glass on a nightstand. In another, a cup of tea sends twisted patterns of steam into the freezing air. Mumbo enters that room, curious if anybody's nearby. There are more signs of life on this floor. He's taking in the four-poster bed with fabric tied to the posts when he hears distant singing.
He turns towards the sound automatically, hands falling heavy by his sides. Singing, that must mean a person. He leaves the room, following the sound. The haunting notes fill his head in the silence through the manor. Each step brings him closer to the source, losing sight of the space around him. He vaguely notices his fingers slipping from his phone, and pushes the device into his pocket instead. His fingers fall limp once he does.
The room he enters is another bedroom. The bed is the largest he's seen so far, but besides the singing, all he takes in is the scent of lavender. Taking over his senses, soothing his thoughts into a quiet hum. Both the song and the lavender are coming from a woman, sitting in front of her vanity as she brushes long, dark hair. Mumbo takes small steps towards her before stopping, waiting in place. He remains there, watching, letting her song fill his head until there are no thoughts of his own left.
The click of her hairbrush on the vanity marks the end of the song. The woman stands, every movement poised, as she walks towards the silent Mumbo. His eyes are partially closed, head falling forward with his shoulders. She reaches under his chin, ice-cold fingers tilting his face towards her. Their eyes meet, dark brown into light, glassy blue.
"Oh, you poor thing." Her words have a similar song-like quality, dripping with sadness. "You must be so lost." Mumbo's eyes grow heavier as her other hand cups the back of his head, holding him still in front of her. "Rest, now. Rest and I'll make it all better." His eyes slip shut, mind falling completely silent.
When they open again, he's in front of a circular window. He steps towards it automatically. He wants to see his garden before he goes to bed. It looks so pretty in the nighttime. The moon shines cold light onto his face, the glow of the glass enchanting.
Nothing prepares him for the shove. His spine shouts in pain as the world shifts beneath him. Gravity changes and he raises thin arms to protect himself, his feet unable to find the ground. Glass shatters against his weight in a cacophony of noise and he's falling- the porch rushing to meet him, no longer decorative black spikes he can't bear to look at growing closer as he shuts his eyes-
Mumbo gasps as his eyes shoot open. He's leaning out of the shattered window, gusts of wind streaking through his hair, pinning his shirt to his body. The moon in front of him is bright, catching on the splintered glass in the window frame. Every breath feels heavy in his lungs, his entire body shivering in the chill of the air. Outside, the lawn is… Different. The grass is immaculate, flowerbeds blossoming in a way that still tugs at some part of his mind he's not convinced is his own. The once-broken planters along the pathway are shining in the glow of the moon, not a crack to be found. He can only glance at the spikes on the porch, pain stabbing through his chest and arms at the sight. And the queue, where's the queue?
He attempts to stumble away, hissing as he lifts his hands and finds thick lines of blood. How did he not feel that before? He looks at the glass shards where his hands were just resting. In fact, how didn't he feel the tugging pressure on either side of his shirt, or see the pale faces watching him-?
He screams. The girls let go of his shirt as he backs into the wall, pressing his bleeding palms flat against the panelling. They watch, making no move towards him. Simply watching. Mumbo's strength finally gives up and he sinks down the wall until he hits the ground. Burying his face into his knees, he takes a few seconds to just breathe. The girls are still watching him when he looks back up, twin faces expressionless.
"What do you want from me?" He asks, voice cracking in spite of his best efforts. The girls look at each other, expressions becoming almost… Remorseful? 
"We want to help you," one says. She's taller, hair tied into a ponytail by a simple ribbon. 
"You shouldn't be here," the other tells him. The one from before, with the untidy braid. "He's trapped you here." Mumbo presses his clenched fists against his face, making a soft whine that sounds pathetic to his own ears. 
"Who is he? What is going on? I'm just-" He runs out of words to say. The shorter girl looks down the hallway. They exchange another look and the taller holds a hand out, encouraging him up. 
"We should go to our room."
"You get affected by her." Mumbo looks at the empty window in front of him. The glass shards taunt him, memories that aren't quite his own mingled with stinging palms. He pushes himself onto his feet. What other option does he have? He's lost, he's freezing, he's scared. When this day started, he didn't think he'd be taking comfort in two ghost girls. But here he is. 
"Okay. Okay, I'll follow you." The taller girl takes Mumbo's hand. Her touch is like cold velvet against his already freezing skin. He doesn't pull away. Instead, he lets the pair lead him. Away from the broken window and the lingering scent of lavender. Further into the house with more direction than he's had since he arrived. The shorter girl skips ahead, peeking around doors and corners before gesturing them on. 
They come to a stop in a bedroom. It's pretty. That's the best way he can think to describe this room. The curtains are drawn, frills down to the floor. A dollhouse sits in the corner of the room beside the bed, dolls still, as if caught in time. And two twin beds. They're unmade yet a pristinely bright white. Besides dark spots on the edges of the pillows where the covers are drawn back, marking each bed. A glistening red, matching the deep cuts on his hands-
"Is that blood?" He hisses, freezing in place. The taller girl turns to look at him, tilting her head.
"This is our bedroom," she says it as if that should answer all of his questions. It does not. Not at all.
"But- Why is there blood?" He gestures at the stained sheets. His hand is released as both girls enter the room. The shorter girl picks up a discarded teddy from the floor.
"This is where we died," the taller tells him, jumping up and sitting on the bed. Her dress falls delicately around her, blending in with the covers. The shorter girl pushes herself up, sitting so they both face him. Mumbo stares. He hates to admit it, but he just stares. He understood, logically, they had to be dead. He saw one of them run through a wall. But hearing them say it, so simply? How is he supposed to react to that? 
"Died- right-" He hides his face, trying to keep himself calm. "You're ghosts. Of course. That-" Something else clicks, "Blood. There's blood. You two-"
"Murdered," the shorter one says.
"By him. Our father," the taller adds. Mumbo looks at them both closely. They look so small. 
"You- that's so much blood." The taller girl looks at the patch, she reaches out, scraping her finger against the stain. "You don't look like it." 
"We choose not to." Mumbo blinks and suddenly the girls have blood streaming from their necks and staining their dresses, the skin torn almost all the way through-
He blinks again and it's gone, along with his breath. There are just two girls with skin nearly as pale and flawless as their white dresses. He raises a hand to his mouth, unsure if he wants to be sick or cry. They're just- they're so young.
"It's okay," the shorter girl tells him. She's crossed her legs, her teddy sat in the middle. "We were sleeping. We didn't feel it." Mumbo can barely look at them without seeing the red. 
"Oh- oh, I feel sick." There's nowhere in the room for him to sit, so he settles for the floor. His legs shake as he lowers himself, finally dropping with a thud. The girls look down at him, always watching. It's as if he's something fascinating to them. Those bright eyes examine his every movement.
"Our father is the one who trapped you here," the taller girl tells him. "We're all trapped here. Our family, and the people he's got since." 
"The people he's got since?" Mumbo questions, the implication of that hitting him like a truck. "Like me?" They both nod.
"It used to be explorers," she speaks like she's telling a story, her words weaving pictures in Mumbo's mind, "most of them came and went. We'd watch them as they flashed their big boxes or tubes."
"But some of them could see us," the shorter one calls, face brightening in genuine excitement.
"Those were the ones he trapped. We'd listen to them scream and then they were trapped, like us." Mumbo's fingers unconsciously reach for his phone, holding it tight for comfort. Maybe he should write a message. Texts that won't send. Some sorries and 'I love you's. 
"Why are you telling me this?" He asks. "You're trapped here too." They turn to each other, smiling with slight nods.
"We decided to help," the taller one says.
"You were nice," the smaller continues. Mumbo holds his arm up, looking at the wristband. It continues glowing. He gives it a cursory push. Still no give. He’s so lost.
"How do you plan on doing that?" He asks. They turn to each other as their faces scrunch up. 
"We're not sure." 
"We've never done this before." Mumbo groans, sinking back until he's lying on the carpeted floor. His hand presses into his face until he grimaces at the sticky, congealing blood. 
"I'm going to die here," he murmurs. "I'm going to die here because apparently, I can see ghosts and my friends dragged me to a haunted house! I'm going to die!" He flashes his phone screen on, wishing for something. A message, a hint of signal and not the time, still showing it's right before midnight. Not that. The only one out of the three he gets. His hands sting more at the stretch of movement. 
"Are you finished?" He yelps when he lowers the phone and finds both girls standing over him. His arms are above his face as protection before he processes what's happening. He reveals a sliver of vision between his pale forearms. They're frowning.
"You're not going to escape by having a tantrum on the floor," the shorter tells him, her voice sharp as a teacher's. He's going to die and his last memories are going to be of dead children scolding him like he's one of them. Brilliant, absolutely brilliant. 
"Come on. Let's go." Small hands tug at him as they attempt to pull him upright. It feels as effective as he is when he's stayed up too late, about to pass out standing up. "Do you want to be stuck here forever? Don't you have a family to go back to?" And Mumbo does. He has his family and-
"My friends. I came here with two friends." Grian and Iskall, what would they think? Would they even find a body, or would Mumbo have walked down that hallway and simply vanished? His mind rushes with questions that he doesn't want answers to. He doesn't want to see his friends search for him. He doesn't want to see them mourn. 
"Well, get up then. Let's go." The shorter girl claps for emphasis. This time, Mumbo does, using his arm as a pillar despite how it hurts. 
"I think," the taller declares, "we should try to get you outside. That's got to work, right?" Her questioning tone leaves Mumbo less than optimistic, but it's not as if he has any other options. 
"But that means going downstairs," the shorter girl whispers it like the words have weight. 
"Downstairs?" Mumbo echoes.
"That's where he is." The taller girl is already walking ahead, taking Mumbo's hand as she does. "But how else are we going to get outside?" 
"A window?" The shorter suggests. She takes Mumbo's other hand, the pair of them taking the lead with no option but to follow. They continue their discussion around him.
"No. The only open one is mother's and he can't go near it again. She's stronger than us, we nearly lost him before." Mumbo isn't sure how he feels about being discussed like this. They're leaning forwards as they walk, looking at each other. Yet they're leading him down the halls still. Walking blindly through the maze that had Mumbo so lost like it’s effortless. 
"The front door is shut too." The shorter has her face scrunched up, dark hair falling into it again. "We're not strong enough to open it." 
"The garden, then."
"That door was shut too." Their gentle bickering reminds him of Grian and Iskall. Silently, he accepts his fate. He's putting his life in the hands of two girls that have no idea what they're doing. Children. He is completely and utterly screwed. He's never going to hear Iskall and Grian bicker again. His hand twitches with the urge to wipe away what might be tears stinging his eyes. Little fingers hold on tighter.
The halls all blend together the longer they walk. They fall into a single file line, the taller girl leading. Only his footsteps make a sound - muted thuds through the house, less creaks now he has two people guiding him. Mumbo's in awe at the size of the manor. He allows that to occupy his mind for a little while. How would you even fill half of these rooms? They must have had servants for cleaning. In its day, this must've been an incredible place to grow up. Now, it's a prison. It's likely going to be his prison. The manor loses some grandeur at that thought. 
The taller releases his hand and leans forward, sticking her upper body straight through a wall. Mumbo blinks. He's never going to get used to that. She steps away, nodding at them both. 
"It's empty." The shorter girl nods in return, the pair sneaking around the partially closed door. Mumbo follows, ducking into a small, twisting, wooden staircase. The girls are skipping down the stairs, leaning on the central column to peer around. They glance at him occasionally, as if checking he's still there. Mumbo makes sure he's in their sight, feet struggling to fit on the stairs. This staircase wasn't made for somebody as tall as him.
Towards the bottom, he can pick up on a distinct noise slicing through the silence. The two girls have paused at the exit to the stairs, listening. It’s a harsh scrape, splintering underneath. Terror catches Mumbo's heart, the beat jumping in his ears. Is somebody destroying the house? What is that? 
"He's doing it again," the shorter comments, her face and voice grumpy. Mumbo is about to ask what he's doing, but the pair are already determinedly walking ahead. He'll defer to the experts.
"That's the only way to the entrance," the taller says, her gentle features pinched in thought. It's not directed at him. The words sink in anyway.
"We have to go past him?" He asks, continuing to follow despite his poor instincts trying to protect him. Their faces are set in grim determination.
"Yes." 
Mumbo has to fight to find words, "That's- that's a terrible idea! He wants to kill me." He presses his fist against his chest at the thought. One near death experience would be enough for one night. He's had several!
"He's already killed us," the shorter helpfully reminds him. Mumbo squeezes his eyes shut to calm down.
"We can figure it out," the taller replies. Honestly, Mumbo would just like to curl up in a corner and fade out of existence. That would be far preferable to this. But, he's already come this far, and they're both looking at him expectantly. 
"Planning," he suggests, "we could come up with a plan." They exchange looks.
"Planning's for adults," the taller decides. The shorter girl is already running ahead, scouting their path out. Mumbo makes a particularly undignified noise.
"I'm an adult!" He calls. His statement is ignored. The girls are storming ahead with a determination Mumbo wishes he had. Maybe there are some advantages to being dead. It's not like anyone can kill you again. Can they? 
The girls come to a stop in front of a corner. The taller puts her fingers on her lips. The harsh scraping is louder, vibrating through the walls. Mumbo can hear thuds, softened by the carpet. He clutches one of his hands tight to his chest. The gashes have nearly stopped bleeding. His entire palm is stained red - he's surprised he's not left marks on the house or the girls. Just another weird thing to keep track of.
The shorter girl pulls him closer, encouraging him to look around the corner. It's the same man as before, that's for certain. His appearance has changed, once tidy hair unkempt, waistcoat undone and torn. Mumbo flinches as a knife glints in the darkness. The man lunges forward, stabbing the blade into the wood above the door and prying at the carving, splintering wood around him. His focus is immovable as he drives the knife in further. Mumbo winces.
A tug on his shirt brings him to attention. The taller girl is pointing to something in the darkness. It hits Mumbo that he can barely see. He's been so reliant on the natural glow from the two girls, he forgot it's pitch black down here. He has no idea what she's pointing at or any idea how to articulate that. With one hand, he covers his eyes, shaking his head. When he looks again, the two girls are frowning, looking at each other. Finally, they nod. The shorter darts to the other side of the hall, vanishing into the wall. 
Mumbo watches in confusion until in the darkness of the hall, a doorway is lit up by her silhouette. Her cheeks are scrunching up her eyes as she grins. The taller girl turns to him, a question in her eyes. Mumbo nods, offering a thumbs up. She nods back, checking the position of her father. Then she points, mouthing a clear, 'Go.'
Mumbo takes the chance, transferring his weight to his toes. He waits for the sound of the knife hitting wood before running, feet light across the carpet until he reaches the doorway, falling into the room. Both girls are waiting for him. The shorter girl pokes her head out, returning with a big grin. Mumbo releases his breath, sinking onto the wall beside the doorframe. One stage closer. He allows himself a hint of relief, hope within reach. If they're patient, they should make it. He checks his phone. Still nearly midnight. They've got time.
The taller girl vanishes through one of the walls. Mumbo stays put, waiting for his next instruction. Sure, they'll have to figure out what to do next. But if he gets through this, Mumbo thinks he could do anything. 
He makes it to the next room, using the sound of the knife against wood and the glow of the girls to guide him. The man is close now. Mumbo breathes lightly, body tensed. The scraping stops. The three wait for it to start up again so they can decide their next move. 
Instead, the knife stabs through the wall with a loud yell, inches away from Mumbo's head.
Mumbo realises the shout was his own, throwing himself away from the wall and falling against a velvet chair. He manages to keep himself upright on shaky hands, twisting to face the door. The girls have twin looks of terror. Mumbo presses against the wall away from the door, a glowing silhouette blocking out the creeping darkness. 
"There you are." The man walks in. The knife is armed in his hand. "I knew I could smell something alive around here." To Mumbo's surprise, the taller girl gets in front of him, digging her hands into his hips. The man stops.
"Let him go!" She orders, stomping her foot. The shorter girl stands beside her, crossing her arms. They form a protective wall in front of Mumbo. His heart aches. The man, their supposed father, only scowls.
"Begone, brats." Mumbo feels the air shift. The girls look at each other in horror before they vanish, leaving the room empty. Nothing in-between Mumbo and the man and the knife.
"What did you do to them?!" He demands, his arms raised protectively. He tries to look around for the girls but he can't take his eyes off the man in front of him.
"I sent them away." The man steps forward. He taps the knife in his hand. The metal glints in his glow. Maybe, just maybe, the knife won't be able to hurt him. Please. "It'll take a while until they can manifest again."
"How can you-" Mumbo reaches for his hair but flinches as the strands irritate his hand. "You're sick. How can you do this to them? They're children!" The man continues forward. That knife is too close, way too close. He'd prefer it if it was on the other side of the house, in fact.
"They were going to leave me." Mumbo stumbles backwards as if the words sent off a shockwave. "Just like you're trying to." 
"They had every reason to!" Mumbo argues. He- he murdered them. He wants to do the same to Mumbo! "And I'm quite attached to my life as well!" 
"You signed your life away already." Mumbo jumps to the side away from the swing of the knife. "You've been carrying the contract in your pocket the entire time." Mumbo knows his confusion is showing on his face. All he has in his pockets is his phone. His phone and- 
"This?" Mumbo drags the ticket free of his pocket, brandishing the crumpled paper in front of the man like a weapon. It looks ordinary. One adult, entrance to the manor, on today's date. The hole is still punched in the corner. 
"It never said anything about leaving." Mumbo's heart drops at the words. Of course it didn't. That's- that's never written into websites or tickets. He wouldn't look for it because it's not like he ever expects this to happen. 
"Well-" he grabs both ends of the ticket, tearing it in two with a satisfying rip, "-I void that contract. I don't agree." Nothing happens. The man's face shifts to one of amusement before he barks out a grating laugh. Mumbo frowns, missing the joke.
"You think that will save you?" The man asks, slinking towards him again. "You think I can't take your soul by force? Where have you got to run?" Mumbo jumps back from a swing that nearly catches his side. He eyes up the doorway. The man is standing in his way but- A plan comes to his head. A stupid plan, but a plan nonetheless.
He kicks, watching the amusement on the man's face as his foot goes straight through him. Mumbo uses the momentum to dive forwards, straight through the man's body. It feels like plunging into a frozen ocean, leaving him gasping for air. But he's out. He's in the hallway. His hand presses against the wall until he gets his feet under him, sprinting into the empty darkness. 
He holds his arm out, wishing the glow of the wristband was brighter to guide him. There's a roar behind him, sending Mumbo's body into violent shivers. He feels like he might cry. He forces one foot after another, hoping that the entrance is somewhere ahead of him. He doesn't know what it'll solve. Maybe it's a moral victory. 
His hopes are dashed when his hand hits a wall. The pain is overshadowed by crushing defeat, the panic threatening to choke him. He presses around but can't find where to go. This was supposed to be a straight hallway! High-pitched, scraping drags closer to him, the sound growing louder. Mumbo turns, frozen before the man. It can't end here. Please, he doesn't want to die.
"It'll be over soon," the man tells him, words like ice in Mumbo's lungs. The knife gleams as it raises above Mumbo's head. His scream comes out as a sob, raising his arms in a last, futile attempt at defence. 
The knife hits the wristband. 
Mumbo barely registers the fact he's not been hit as the plastic glows, growing brighter as it peels away from sweaty skin. Something silent in the air bursts. He hears a scream as he loses his footing to the force. Falling backwards, the man is gradually vanishing, expression twisted in pain. Mumbo's head cracks against the wall behind him. He slumps onto the carpet, thoughts swimming. He blinks once. Twice. The darkness of the hallway takes over his thoughts, sliding into silence.
-
"I think he's waking up!" Mumbo's head feels like concrete. Everything throbs in time to his heartbeat, the voices around him are so loud he can't focus on the words. There's something soft touching his cheek, reminiscent of an earlier touch, freezing cold-
He flinches away from it, head swirling in pain. Another touch steadies him. He realises there's something cool and damp against the back of his head. He raises his hand, trying to touch it but brushing against something else solid, warm. Cautiously, he forces his eyes open, wincing at the brightness that awaits him. There's shadows moving in his vision, one of them speaking.
"-bo? Hey, can you hear us?" Mumbo nods, whining at the pain that movement sends through his head. He rests his forehead on a closed fist, giving the fog in his brain time to dissipate. Everything is blissfully quiet around him, the only noise being distant footsteps and creaking floorboards. 
The night hits him at once. He startles up, swaying before he can even get his feet under him. Hands on his shoulders keep him from standing. 
"Woah, hey. You had a nasty fall. Careful." The voice sinks into Mumbo's mind. He finds himself looking into dark brown eyes, bright red at the edge of his vision. He leaps forward, throwing his arms around his friend.
"Grian." His voice breaks on the name. Those arms reach around him, patting his back robotically. 
"Mumbo?" Grian's voice is confused as he hugs back. "It's only been a few minutes, dude. You weren't out for that long." Mumbo's breath comes out as a wheeze.
"What time is it?" He asks, almost desperate. There's a pause, Grian's head lifting up.
"Like, ten minutes past midnight." There's Iskall. They're both here. Safe. He's safe. "Mumbo are you okay? Besides the head injury and- your hands. Like, dude?" Mumbo's breath comes out shaky with the tears he forces back.
"I'm- I'm okay. I think." He looks around the familiar hallway. The carpet is worn and dirty, the wallpaper peeling in places. Above the nearest doorway, the wooden coat of arms is broken. 
"What even happened, Mumbo?" Grian asks. He gets shuffled to the side as a young man kneels down, a medical kit in his hands. Mumbo shuts his eyes, trying to think. A lot. A lot happened. Oh goodness, a lot has happened. He doesn't even know where to start. 
So instead, he lies, "I- I tripped." 
"You tripped?" Grian sounds in disbelief. 
"When I joked about letting go of your hand, I didn't mean for it to be serious." The joking in Iskall's voice is shadowed by worry. That conversation feels like it happened hours ago. Mumbo holds his hands out for the first aider, allowing him to wipe the nearly closed up wounds. He winces at the sting of alcohol, sitting patiently and trying not to move. 
"Do we need a babysitter for you?" Grian joins in with the teasing. It sounds just as concerned. Mumbo tries to smile. He feels exhausted down to his very bones. He wants nothing more than to curl up and sleep. 
"I'm okay," he attempts to reassure them. "Honestly, I need to look where I'm going." It's so much easier than explaining what really happened.
"Maybe you were tripped by a ghost," Iskall jokes. It falls a bit flat, considering, but Mumbo finds himself laughing anyway. This is absurd. Did he just imagine all of that?
"There you go, all bandaged up." The first aider releases Mumbo's hand. Mumbo flexes them, feeling bandages shift around his palms. It's going to be a nightmare working with this. "No idea how you did it, mind. They look almost healed. Old wounds?" Mumbo hums, allowing the guy to take whatever answer he wants from it. "You should be fine to go home, anyway." Mumbo sags in relief before remembering the original reason for their visit.
"But what about you two?" He asks, "Don't you want to do the attraction?" 
"Dude, we can do the attraction another time. We're taking you home." Grian nods in agreement at Iskall's words. Mumbo sits back, gently poking the ice pack on his head. It's beginning to melt into his hair. He takes it off, offering it back to the first aider.
"Hey." Mumbo looks up at a familiar voice, jumping away from the woman who approaches. She's no longer wearing a waistcoat, instead, there's a dark hoodie. Her hair is still in a ponytail. "Got your bags." Her eyes meet Mumbo's. They glint with a knowing smile, lightening to an almost-white. He stares at her as Iskall takes their stuff. Then, she turns away, waving over her shoulder. Grian offers his hands out to Mumbo, helping him onto his feet. 
"Come on, let's get Mr Accident Prone here home," Grian calls to Iskall, wrapping his arm around Mumbo's waist. Iskall laughs, turning and thanking the staff members for their help whilst Grian walks with Mumbo to the entrance. Mumbo tries not to tense as the hallway opens up, but he does. He only relaxes once he sees the open door and no sign of that man. Grian looks at him in concern, asking a soft, "You alright?" 
"I'm fine, sorry." Grian obviously isn't convinced, but they wait by the door for Iskall to catch up. He appears shortly after, rucksack on his back and their coats slung over his arm. He holds them out for Grian and Mumbo to take. Mumbo wraps himself up tightly, trying to stave off some of the lingering chill in his bones.
A weight leaves Mumbo's shoulders when they step outside. The queue is still chatting away and, for once, Mumbo doesn't care about the stares they get. He's far, far too tired. Grian leads him along with a warm hand in his, past the queue and under the bright lights. The grounds are in the same decay that Mumbo remembers from when they arrived. 
"Right," Grian turns to Mumbo, squeezing his hand, "what actually happened, then?" Mumbo pauses, looking at Grian and trying to tell if he's serious. 
"You're a terrible liar, Mumbo," Iskall informs him, backing Grian up. 
"And why were you freezing up at things? Like that girl and the entrance? Clearly something's up." 
"And you're clumsy but not that clumsy. Plus your hands! There was nothing sharp in the hall!" They're both so concerned, eyes watching Mumbo carefully. They probably think somebody picked a fight with him. They wouldn't be too far off. 
"You guys wouldn't believe me if I told you," Mumbo replies, at last. Grian groans at him, Iskall rolling his eyes. Mumbo takes a second to glance back at the manor, standing tall in the night.
For a split second, he sees the manor as it once was. Windows closed and uncovered, the one above the porch shattered as blood drips onto the porch railing below. The flowers are blooming, the paint shining. And on the lawn, he sees two young girls, running across the tidy grass. He thinks he can hear their laughter in the distance. Then it's gone, returned to the abandoned manor someone decided to set a haunted house up in. 
"There's no such thing as ghosts," he says, turning to Iskall as he parrots those earlier words. The two of them make loud noises, falling over each other in argument.
"What does that mean?!" Grian cries, waving his hands. "Come on, Mumbo!" Mumbo laughs tiredly, resolving to ignore their protests. Maybe he'll tell them another time. Tonight, he just wants to put this entire experience behind him. Curl up in a warm bed and sleep until he doesn't feel ready to fall over. 
He's not going anywhere haunted for a long time.
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For the ask game: The last 10 questions :) you brought this on yourself /lh
Jdkhjsh god alright /lh
10- Which Hermits do you actively watch?
It's funny cause I actively watch a hermit who isn't entirely active rn /hj
I used to watch Grian, Mumbo, Xisuma, Jevin, and Zedaph actively but now I just watch Wels (not just hc we all know this) and Beef kind of actively I'm still catching up
11- Which Hermits do you only watch occassionally?
Well,,, I think technically my previous answer is the answer to this one
12- Which Hermits do you not watch?
It's easier to say the ones I have watched to narrow that down and the rest I haven't:
Actively I have watched, and this is both rewatching old seasons and keeping up with new videos put out; Wels, Biffa, Jevin, Xisuma, Mumbo, Grian, Zedaph, and at one point I tried with Scar and Cleo
Everyone else I've either only touched a couple videos or not watched at all
13- Which Hermit did you start watching first?
hh Grian
^Typical, I started watching after I was just watching his building videos randomly and he kept mentioning hermitcraft so I was like alright ig I'll watch that and I started watching his HC videos in s6 in like the middle of the area 77/hippie arc
14- Which Hermit did you start watching most recently?
Beef,, I just liked his vibes so I started watching his s7 playlist
15- If you could play Minecraft with the Hermits, who would you most want to collaborate with?
This is a very theoretical question because I have java and a computer that can run fuck all
Technically if my computer could actually y'know run stuff I could be playing on Wels' pixelmon server lol but I think it's an obvious answer
Realistically I wouldn't collab with anyone because like what would we even do djgjskg
16- Top 5 favorite bases from any season?
I Haven't Been Paying Attentionᵀᴹ
Three fox hole's looking pretty pog, Iskall's tree too, Xisuma's is pretty cool, obviously I like Wels' base, that's literally all I've seen that I can remember the looks of
Oh and Toon Towers is fucking awesome
17- Top 5 favorite bases from any season?
In no particular order: Welsknight's s5 castle, Grian's s6 base, Mumbo's s6 base, does the nHo jungle count please tell me it does, and probably Toon Towers this season
18- Favorite shop from this season?
Again I haven't been paying attention all I know is Beef's stores and Welsmart the rest I don't really remember off the top of my head
19- Favorite shop from any season?
Uuuhhhhhhhh hell idk hfkhjskgs
I liked the way you got onto the platform for the elytra shop in s4??? That's all I got
20- Which Hermit’s skin do you like the most?
Believe it or not it's not actually Welsknight's skin, shocking ik (/s)
Honestly probably Beesuma lol
But in all fairness I do like Wels' skin,, especially this one from the civil war arc
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Look at him with his little glasses look how fucking cute
And his little plume is green
ALSO SPEAKING OF SKINS I'm giving y'all the fucking eyebrow rant now;
Welsknight has Two (2) skins where his visor is flipped up and his eyebrows are visible, one with an eyebrow raised the other just normal
This man has these skins SOLELY for the last like around 10 or less seconds of one of his season 5 episodes where he sang Do You Hear The People Sing, he literally just stared at the camera then it switched to him staring at the camera but with an eyebrow raised and that was it that was all he ever used those skins for
Also he once changed his skin to Mr Mime to terrorize Nebris on C8sun's pixelmon server because Nebris hates mimes and I've mentioned this before but Wels also renamed his sword on that server "Mr Mime's Loving Touch" telling us that one day he would kill Nebris with it and it would say Nebris was killed by Mr Mime's loving touch and "it will be glorious"
Anyways fjkfgjskngs that's all the last 10
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theminecraftbee · 6 months
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hermitcraft vault hunters thoughts:
joe's interpretive... dance? cosplay?... of the bad chat gpt xisuma had made intro is VERY worth watching.
100 days to collect all the artifacts... oh boy i hope the promised "artifacts are faster" update is in update 12. so they don't. die.
iskall, to etho: "as long as we greed". etho, nodding back. me, flashing to runs that will probably give us all heart attacks.
the start of this server has SUCH chaotic day one of a new minecraft server energy. they all run off and punch trees. iskall immediately yells at them for punching trees. it's beautiful.
xisuma: "only two monoliths! we're gonna ace this." as all the hermits. just mine blocks for their bases.
iskall has such strong "trying to herd kids through a museum" vibes its SO funny.
etho, loudly: "LOOT AND SCOOT everybody." and now everyone else has picked up on repeating "loot and scoot. loot and scoot."
"hey i found a spawner everyone should i break thaOH MY GOD THOSE GUYS JUMPED OUT."
no one knows what they're doing. this is fantastic.
"These vaults are AMAZING, Iskall :D" awwwwww
that being said iskall is failing entirely to explain this to the crowd. gather all the artifacts in 100 days. sure.
"i know there are 13 minutes left but i'm getting so concerned i'll never find the exit" oh no. they're brand new. they have fresh vault hunter smell.
"are there coordinates in here?" "no." "WHAT."\
etho finding an omega room with iskall and also being the only one to kill a champion. this checks out.
NO ONE CAN OPEN THE MONOLITH CRATES. i unfortunately relate,
joe takes fireball. naturally. so excited for joe the fireball wizard! also now so so so excited to see what builds everyone else will make. as everyone settles into playstyles. so much to make of that, i think.
in conclusion: still so hyped,
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