#i just think there is so much fusion potential here

[suntraitor]

that scene with cyn/the solver and uzi at the very end where the solver/cyn is still a part of uzi.... so OSSDID/System coded fr fr.... im going insane abt it. im so autistical abt this

please please PLEASE send me asks abt this i am so eager to talk to ppl abt it

(rambles in tags)

[randomitemdrop]

you've posted a few ai generated images as items lately, and i'm wondering if that's intentional or not?

Short answer: no, it wasn't. Aside from a few I made when the generators first became publicly available and all the images were gooey messes, they've all been reader-submitted, although I'll admit I didn't catch the snail-boots. Personally I think AI image generators are a more nuanced situation than a lot of opinions I've seen on Tumblr, but given that they can be used so evilly, I'm steering away from them, if only to avoid the Wrath of the Disk Horse.

Long answer, and this is just my take, if you want to really get into it you'll have a much more interesting conversation with the people with devoted AI art blogs instead of me occasionally sharing things people submit:

There have been some major cases of unethical uses for it, but I think it's important to remember why AI image generators are such an issue; data scraping and regurgitating uncredited indie art is bad, but in the case of the snail-boots, it was just a fusion of one dataset of "product photos of boots" and another of "nature photos of snails", which I would say is not depriving anyone of credit or recognition for their work (MAYBE photographers, if you're a professional nature photographer or really attached to a picture you took of a snail one time?) I get the potential misuses of it, but when Photoshop made it easy to manipulate photos, the response was "hmm let's try and use this ethically" instead of "let's ban photo editing software". Like, I'd feel pretty unethical prompting it with "[character name] as illustrated by [Tumblr illustrator desperate for commissions]" or even "[character name] in DeviantArt style", but I'd have a hard time feeling bad for prompting with "product photo of a Transformer toy that turns into the Oscar Meyer Wienermobile". I know there's the question of "normalizing" the services but I think that overestimates how much the techbros running these things care about how everyday consumers use their free products, preferring to put their effort towards convincing companies to hire them to generate images for them, and in that case they respond way better to "here are some ways to change your product so that I would be willing to use it" than to "I will never use your product". For example here's one I just made of "the holy relic department at Big Lots", fusing corporate retail photos and museum storage rooms.

TL/DR: on the one hand I understand the hate that AI gets and it's not something I'm planning on using for any of my creative projects, but on the other hand I think it's overly simplistic to say it's inherently bad and should never be used ever. On the third hand, I really hate participating in arguments over complex ethical philosophy, so I'm just gonna steer clear entirely.

[tizeline]

I’ve never seen a separated au with Leo being raised by big mama, what do you think that would be like? (Since he’s kinda rebellious)

For the record, there are AUs where Leo's been raised by Big Mama, the ones I know of are Gemini AU by tangledinink and True Colors AU by v-albion. I'm not super familiar with either of them, but they're there if you wanna check them out.

That being said-

LEO being raised by BIG MAMA omg I have THOUGHTS

Listen, I don't see enough people compare Leo to Big Mama, but he's quite similar to her. Splinter and BM never got a kid together, BUT IF THEY DID that kid would literally be Leo he's basically just a fusion of the two of them!!

As I've mentioned several times before because I love bringing it up, Leo is strategic, quick-witted, observant and good at talking. In the show (as well as in my own AU) Leo's strengths aren't really recognized, let alone aknowledged for a big portion of the story. Because of that, for a long time he doesn't really get the chance to develop these skills, as much potential Leo has to become a master planner his impulsiveness and inexperience has a tendency to get him into trouble.

BUT! All of these skills also happen to be skills that Big Mama has and would value in Leo. So if he were to actually have to opportunity to not only be raised by BM but also trained by her for his entire life. If he got to properly learn strategy, planning, manipulation...?

... Holy shit Leo would be terrifying.

Think about it, canon!Leo managed to out-smart BM in Many Unhappy Returns without any real experience, just imagine what he could do with a whole life-time of training.... yikes!

Not sure what exactly Big Mama and Leo's relationship would look like. In my opinion she would view him as her son and love him dearly, especially if she knew that he's Splinter's biological son.... it's just that BM has interesting ways of showing affection. ("The love of my life just proposed to me?? Great! I'm gonna lock him up in my gladiator fighting ring for the rest of eternity!") She'd at the very least be quite controlling, I imagine.

As you pointed out, Leo can be quite rebellious, so that mixed with Big Mama's obsessive need to be in complete control of everyone around her would certainly cause some tension. Actually... considering how clever Leo would be in this AU... uh oh.

All of these qualities that BM initially appreciated and encouraged in Leo, what if, as Leo became more and more capable, Big Mama started to eventually view them in a more negative light? If she feels like she's loosing control over Leo, if she interprets Leo's rebellion as not just a normal teenage need for independence but rather him malicously working against her. What if she starts viewing him not as an asset or as a tool, but rather a threat?

If BM has reason to believe that Leo might try to overthrow her and take control over her criminal empire, she might take preemptive action and get rid of him before he has the chance to get rid of her.... Not like murder-get-rid-of, I don't think she'd just kill him, lol! But like lock him up, maybe throw him into the Battle Nexus, I dunno. Anything that would allow her to remain in control of both him and her business.

As for Leo, maybe he would actually try to overthrow BM. Considering he was raised by a literal mafia boss, his moral compass is gonna be a bit wack. Maybe Leo's desire for control over himself would cause him to try to seize control over his mother's business. Oooooorrrrr maybe Leo just wants some independance but doesn't actually want to compete with BM, so when she interprets his actions and behavior as malicious he's not prepared for that at all and, as a result, is more than a little hurt that his own mother would take such extreme actions against him. Who knows?

Hhhhhhh there's a lot of fun posibilities here but MAN I'm not really in the mood to work on an entirely new AU. Maybe I'll create some art for it I dunno, this concept is really fun, but I'm not gonna turn this into a proper Thing, so if anyone else wanna steal this concept and explore it for themselves, feel more than free to do that!

[atamascolily]

Having examined the first half of Homura's transformation sequence (the external), I thought I'd continue with the second half (the internal). This is a very dense scene full of symbolism I don't fully understand, but I'll give it my best shot.

First up, the spool of pink thread falling through the void. This has appeared several times earlier in the film, in keeping with the whole "threads of fate" imagery, not to mention Homulilly's sewing theme and Homura's own issues with karmic destiny in general (which is inherently linked to Madoka, hence the color).

To me, the background looks like an eye, but admittedly, it's a little abstract and there could be other stuff going on here.

The thread falls past Homura as she is floating in a field of red and yellow "oil drops"

I didn't notice it until the Rebellion Production Note pointed it out but Homura literally has stars in her eyes in this shot. Cosmic!

The thread keeps spinning, but I can't tell if it's winding or unwinding at all because it moves so fast.

Note that the same circles in the background appear elsewhere in the film, most notably in the curtains of Homura's umbrella in the finale.

Homura's pose here also mirrors that of Madoka when she becomes a concept, although notably there is only one Homura here vs. a whole host of Madokas:

Homura then bites down on her soul gem and it cracks... and there's a blink and you'll miss it shot of her intact original soul gem inside!

The circles then move about and form a line, which the thread hits and transforms into the Dark Orb:

The Rebellion Production Note has this to say about the Dark Orb in this scene:

If I'm reading this right, the first caption says, "It's like a perfume bottle", (香水ビン) and the second caption reads, "Contains pink light (Madoka)" [ピンク光まどか) with an arrow pointing to the glowing circle at the center.

So, uh, yeah, in answer to my earlier question, it sure looks like Homura does have access to the Law of Cycles (Madoka) in some capacity, because it's at the core of her reformed Soul Gem--and given the confluence between inside and outside, this is also a model for Homura's universe, as the two are no longer separate from each other.

(I mean, this could be a metaphor for how Homura's love powers the universe and not actually Madoka's powers as the Law of Cycles, but the show has always made its metaphors literal in the past, I don't know why they'd stop now.)

The wings wrapped around the orb didn't make it into the final cut, but after some deliberation, they ended up attached to the salamander that represents Homura instead, because it is a fusion between them.

If you've ever wondered why this sigil was only visible in this shot, it's because it's actually on the bottom of the orb, according to the Production Note, which is why the surface is flat and not curved.

Silverstorm79 pointed out to me that the "dark" part is a cage around the "orb" and I had to go sit down for a while because the symbolism was a little too much even for me. There was also some discussion about whether this makes them literal soulmates now, and I just.... can't even.... Everything in the Rebellion Production Book has to be taken with a grain of salt because a lot of its contents never made it into the final film, but damn if Inu Curry wasn't thinking about it here.

Madoka is also the "heart" of the universe/soul gem--all of which literally exists/was created for her sake. I wonder if this has the side effect of giving her even more karmic destiny/potential than she previously had... and if, so, what would she do with it.

There's a lot in this scene that is still opaque to me (once again I wish SHAFT had been a little less esoteric with their symbolism!!!), but Dark Orb is more complex than I had initially assumed, not to mention representative of both Homura and her new universe. This suggests that changing the universe will require personal transformation on her part; one cannot be accomplished without the other. Going to have to go back and look at the other sections on the Dark Orb in light of these new revelations and see what else I can find about it.

[gnomeonamelon]

Hello! I wanted to post some designs for my versions of the PJO trio! For the sake of reference: Annabeth and Percy (in that order) are 19 and Grover is 32/16.

These designs are meant to be a fusion of their TLO and their HoO designs (Percy and Annabeth both have their new weapons but old hair and Grover's missing his Lord decor)

ANs Below! (idk if you need a spoiler warning if you're here but abandon all hope, ye who enter for there are secrets abound)

All of their colors were taken from their animal inspiration of choice (hence why everyone has a different shade of orange). The only one that had an added color was Percy because Skyrian horses don't have a shade of blue in them (despite their names)

Percy:

Since I'm already talking about Percy, given that everyone in a mile radius seems to have a crush on this teenage boy/ young man, he ends up being a bit of a badboy heartthrob (at least in appearance).

In this universe, Hera severs the connection between Percy and Riptide, causing her to not be able to return to Percy's pocket (and she can bond with a new wielder, but we'll come back to that). When he joins The Legion, they cut his hair significantly, brand him, and he eventually gains an imperial gold spatha (a massive Roman sword typically used by cavalry/ on horseback)

He and Annabeth keep the streaks of white they gained in The Titans Curse >:(. Percy also gains a new scar from Luke/ Kronos (mirroring his own).

Annabeth:

It was mentioned in The Hammer of Thor that Annabeth was noticeably growing her hair out which makes me think it was originally much shorter.

Since Athena is a virgin goddess and a goddess of the arts, I imagine that she and her siblings were sculpted in Athena's and their mortal parents' images and brought to life Galatea style as a gift to her favored. Annabeth was probably originally made of marble before being brought to life.

Annabeth originally wields the xiphos/ dagger Luke gave her and makes up for her lack of brute strength and speed with sneakiness (invisibility). Percy would teach her to use a sword and, when he goes missing and is presumed dead by the general Greek public, she wields Riptide (a makhaira), taking advantage of her hard-won skill and brutality, no longer hiding behind her cap.

Grover:

All of his shapes are so round <3 Beloved <3 His pose came out a little strange, but the ideas are all there.

He's considered part of the staff, being paid by the camp to be a Searcher for them (he uses his pay to fund his search for Pan when he's not looking for demigods).

His skirt mirrors the length of a male Greek chiton and he is both more comfortable in mortal clothing than other satyrs and pants are not suited for his leg shape (also just a little wink and nod at Zoe saying Grover's not a boy in TTC). He also loses the Rosta cap just after Battle of The Labyrinth as those horns will not fit bestie.

After becoming Lord of the Wild, Grover wears leaves and flowers in his hair and horns (there's definitely some juniper in there) as well as probably gaining a new outfit or potentially loosing clothes entirely.

Their Ages:

I decided that the reason all the campers are roughly the same age is because their powers develop roughly in line with Erik Erikson's Stages of Development. The gain power boosts at roughly 2, 6, 11, 18, 25, and 65 (if they live that long).

Grover found Percy when he was 11 but didn't bring him to camp until he was actually attacked by a monster when he was 13 (almost 14).

I decided to add a normal summer where there are no quests, and the Trio can just train in between TLT and SoM.

The Prophecy has been changed to 18 (when the Big Three demigod becomes an adult psychosocially).

[system-of-a-feather]

Full Integration, Final Fusion, Functional Multiplicitly, and General "Spirituality"

(Disclaimer: this is a very long post)

Heyyo, this is a bit of a hodgepodge of connected topics that I was thinking on this morning. For those that don't know, after like three months of being a really solid fused whole, we really decided that we needed to redivide back into our core parts to recenter, rebalance, and reorganize ourselves since our fused whole was loosing sight / vision of the "plot". We don't consider this "splitting" because we are still in - what we like to call "full integration" - and we don't really engage in much dissociation when we do this as the means of how we do this largely stems from the way we perceive, engage with, and view the concept of "self" and "identity." Our system highly values the mastery and art of a very fluid and ever changing sense of identity and self. This morning - thank you Chunn brain for batting our collective brain from the usual urge to get out of bed and get started with our day to give us time to really sit with our inner selves - we spent about an hour and a half and a small half hour nap just laying there thinking among ourselves and I wanted to share a few.

I think at the moment I am still mostly a fused whole and I had considered trying to go to Ray or Lin for them to write this, but it didn't feel right to go to Ray brain and Lin brain directly told me "Dude, this thought line started with Riku-dominant fused brain, trying to have someone else write it would be a disservice to the reflection. Let Riku or Riku-dominant fused brain do it, it's their thought." and you know, fair point. I think I'll use this post as a temporary "bye few thoughts" and love letter to our parts as a fused whole before leaving it to the individual specialists to do their things.

So introduction to this post aside, hello and temporary soon to be farewell before I choose to temporarily redivide into my main parts. Today is May 15, 2024 and I'm gonna document this a bit for when I come back whenever that is and kind of see if my fused-whole perspective and nature changes - mostly for myself. Online I go by Feathers, irl I just go by our chosen name.

I'm a (mostly, technically non-denominational independent, but most of my views and perspectives come from and align closely with) Zen Buddhist. I'm nonbinary vaguely transmasc (not really though?) intersex individual with the pronouns of they/them. I am extremely pro-endo and if I honestly felt like sticking around longer, I was thinking about writing a much more nuanced essay on tulpa-terminology discourse with my current reflections as a fused whole and as a pretty avid Buddhist but, unforunately, unless one of my parts still shares the same insight AND interest, that essay will have to wait for me to potentially be back (hey, Riku or Chunn might still want to who knows). I dunno what else to say, I love bird, Bleach, walking, driving, listening to music, video games, writing, art? I dunno man, I'm just me.

Documentation aside anyways, I gotta figure out where I want to start. I think I will actually piss my high-school English teachers off and start with the LAST thing in the title card. I might loose a lot of close minded white anti-endos here, but hey, if you are that close minded, then its your loss cause I'm just talking about late-stage recovery as a person with diagnosed DID that is considered polyfragmented. It's a fun conversation to have with other people with DID aiming for recovery so, if you're hell bent on hating people talking about plurality form a non-DID lens enough to disregard cool information, that's your loss. (Thank you XIV brain, crediting that to you for part of our goal today)

Buddhism, Spirituality, Plurality and Our Perspective of Full Integration

According to Buddhism, and one of the largest concepts and principles of Buddhism that we believe the most in and actively work to practice and cultivate the mindset of - is that the concept of "I" and the concept of a singular, distinct, and separate self from the world and others simply does not exist - only the experience and illusion of experience exists. I was talking about it with @quoigenicfromhell in DMs since they were interested in talking shop about Buddhism.

To save myself a whole effort of rewriting a discussion on how one can hold together the clear sensation of existing and being an individual with the idea and Buddhist understanding that the "self" does not exist, I'm going to copy a little bit of what I wrote in response to them. If it doesn't make sense cause its in a bit of Buddhist jargon, then oh well, I'm lazy, it's written for an audience that has done some reading and looking into Buddhist thought so RIP yall srry not srry (Thank you Chunn brain lol)

Honestly the development and understanding of holding those two things together (the non-self and non-existence with the clear experience of self and existence) is largely a lot of exploration on the understanding and respect for the experience without applying too much value or regard to said experience. Its kind of a hard thing to understand just based off of words alone and like all things Buddhism, its one of those sorts of things you really gotta sit on and explore in your own mental space, but like

The experience of self and personhood and existence is a denied concept in Buddhist thought, but its not a bad or incorrect thing, the experience of self and existence is kind of considered an inherent expression of life and the world and while its important to be cognicent that it is an illusion that can cause suffering and muddy an individuals ability to see Things As They Are, the experience and illusion of self is additionally an entirely natural thing to experience and is an important part of being able to, well, be

I kinda of personally perceive it kind of similarly to say a part in a system. Innately the part is not (at least in my experiences of systemhood) a literal entire separate being and thats an important thing to acknowledge for a number of reasons (life organization and direction, system accountability, etc) but its would also be incredibly foolish to completely ignore that the part operates, experiences themselves, and lives in the world (both inner and outer) as if they were an individual of their own

In the same sense that a part in a system can be seen both as an individual and a part of a whole / collective depending on what perspective and demands the moment needs. An individual can be seen both as the individual expression of a self informed by the arguably incorrect illusion of isolation OR as a part of the whole worlds expression depending on what serves the moment the best. I largely kind of see myself as part of a system that is the world much like I see my parts as part of a system that is "me". While the self may be an illusion, its not an experience that can be denied and it is an innate expression that in its own right can prove to be a great teacher So you deny the concept of a self but respect and revere the experience and innate natural expression of self

With that context in mind, while we do not believe in the concept of self and find that trying to seek out a concrete idea of a singular person and singular self in society is a source of extreme suffering, stress, and displeasure, we DEEPLY revere and honor the expression of self. As we see it, in a complete ideal and impossible the world would be in perfect harmony if we let the world express itself as it naturally does. We find that the experiences of self - in whatever form they take - are inherent and natural expressions of the world as a whole and to try to shape oneself to fit a specific image - may that be societally imposed or internally / personally imposed or a sense of envy or any sort of clinging or desire to a specific version / image of self - is a disrespect to the innate beauty found in the natural expression and a means of adding disharmony into the world.

As a result, our system and whole aims deeply, above almost all else to exist simply as we naturally would in any moment time to time. If we find that something we are doing with our sense of self is drawn and influenced too much on a "I should" or "I want" or "I wish" or "I hope" then we tend to pause, self reflect, and ask if we are actually existing in our natural state, or are we trying to fight against our natural state of self to fit into a self-imposed idea of what we "should be".

As a result of that, our system deeply values our flexibility, fluidity, and ability to change any aspect of ourselves, any opinion we hold, any identity label we consider, and our overall presentation in all ways and forms to a very high level. The desire to be consistent and predictable serves us little in simply practicing on "being" and finding the true and simply-run life that we want. That then results in why our system so casually flips around in system size, fusions, redivisions, how we refer to ourselves, etc. We find very little value in committing to labels and concepts and do whatever is natural for us.

Additionally, another large aspect of Buddhism our system deeply reveres and appreciates is the acknowledgement that there are "Buddhas" - or in less Jargon terms, potential for everything both internal and external to be teachers and guides into finding a sense of peace and simplicity in the world - and that it is deeply important to cultivating peace, happiness, and insight to actively always be seeking out the "Buddha" in everything and everyone. It's important to reflect, engage with, and talk with those "Buddhas" as they are the best and number one way to gain the insight that brings happiness and peace into life and removes excessive suffering and stress.

As many Buddhists agree (at least of the Mahayanan branches), everyone is inherently a Buddha because the world and everything is a Buddha. The only issue people have is that they can not connect, hear, and see clearly enough to be in that state due to a large number of human conditions - one large one being the aforementioned illusion of self.

Having lived my life as someone with DID and having gone through a lot of trauma therapy, self reflection, communication and coordination with my parts, and all that to the point we have reached functional multiplicity over a year plus ago and been able to hold a fully fused state for over three months, I feel like its a given to say that of ALL things in the world, the "Buddha nature" of my parts have been the best and most insightful teachers I've ever had. We revere each other's strengths and specialties greatly as each of us have taught the other great strengths, great understandings, great insights, and great appreciations that have collectively brought us so much peace and happiness. It's not to say any part is "enlightened" because each part is also deeply flawed and struggling in their own realms, but it is largely by working and talking and supporting one another and ACTIVELY looking to one another for insight and lessons about the world and our existence that we are able to reach a uniquely peaceful space.

For us, its an incredibly important practice - both for self care and in the art / spirituality of Buddhism - to regularly talk and engage with these specialized and uniquely-wise (and uniquely stupid - thank you XIV) parts of ourselves to gain deeper insight and overall understanding of ourselves and our place in the world.

In the same sense, it is why - despite being completely capable of operating as a fully fused whole - we regularly choose to INTENTIONALLY redivide into our parts. And no, its not us "splitting again" or even really throwing up any real level of dissociation / dissociative barriers. If anything, we usually do this through meditation and mindfulness.

It's a Buddhist practice, its not a mental disorder and its not stemming from the same mechanism's DID stems from. It might operate *based* on the foundation our history with DID stems from, but at this point in our healing, the way our system operates at functional multiplicity that is intentionally chosen to be that way AFTER reaching "final fusion" has a number of differences from how it operated before we reached general full integration.

Again, for those more familiar with the tulpa-terminology discussion, you might be able to see where I would have a long post delving into a highly nuanced and more middle-ground perspective of that syscourse from the paragraph above this one, but I'm gonna leave that cause I already know this post is long and it would detract from the purpose.

At this point, my system is mostly an "intentionally created one" to Western label standards. We personally do not see any significance or binary in plural VS singular people beyond it being a label some people identify with and not. Plural VS Singular is a false binary perpetuated in white, western, and european society and while I respect that perspective and view in a space that is primarily filled with white, western, and/or european individuals, I am going to firmly state that and expect you to give me that same respect. (and if you refuse to give me that same respect, then you are close minded and being very white / western lmao <- thank you XIV, again)

And so the other related but slightly different topic away from the more philosophical, esoteric, mysticism sounding topic of Buddhism...

Full Integration, Final Fusion, and Functional Multiplicitly

At this point, what we used to call "Wishiwashi Recovery" we kind of have taken to just calling "full integration" generally as a means of really breaking apart the suggested categorical and boxed binary of "final fusion" and "functional multiplicity" as our own experience and discussion with other systems at and near full integration have made us realize that the difference between functional multiplicity and final fusion is FAR more a spectrum than it is two seperate categories. Some systems stick to one end, some to the others, but the largest difference is in external and internal expression of the parts and less any fundamental or biological / clinical difference; at least not in terms of integration. (Note: Integration =/= Fusion; Integration is the general connectivity and accessibility of parts with less / limited / no dissociation)

It's a false binary to say Final Fusion or Functional Multiplicity and its why a lot of the "ones bad and ones good" syscourse is dumb. They're two heads of the same Doduo and they should be kissing. (JOKING, thank you Riku-Aya brain)

With that said, our system, as we've made clear, regularly and freely practices sliding and flying all over that spectrum as just how we like to engage with ourselves. We change between the two as we see fit and having spent probably like 9~ months in functional multiplicity and 3~ months in final fusion I wanted to share some pros and cons of both sides.

I would also like to put a disclaimer that this isn't meant to be "positives and why this side sucks" as much as it is the differences in life style according to our opinion and our experience. Both final fusion and functional multiplicity are absolutely WONDERFUL things overall and we love both states. If we got "stuck" in either, we would still be immensely happy. The purpose of this part is just to share certain differences in how we experience the two different ends. The Cons in these case are only "cons" relative to the "alternative" and not "to not ever reaching either"

Functional Multiplicity Pros:

A lot more clear and direct communication between parts internally that allows for a SHIT ton of internal banter, productive conversation about complex topic and perspectives from unique and diverse perspectives; the communication is a lot more intentional and a lot more in focus so its easier to properly sit and attend to the complex differences and sometimes conflicting directions

It's honestly just a lot of fun, not gonna lie. A lot more dramatic and extravagant expression + brain friends in a more overt sense

Easier to let certain parts of the brain take "breaks" - it's not the same as it is with not-fully-integrated DID but compared to Full Fusion, certain parts of the brain can "tune out" easier than not

More palatable to DID / OSDD spaces online

Easier to focus and use a wide variety of skills, interests, hobbies, and thinking patterns by simply just having a specialist part take their look at it

Generally easier to target specific boxes to look into as you process all the newly accessible memories and information from being highly / fully integrated

Final Fusion Pros:

Quick and a lot more inherent understanding of all parts on a general gut level without necessarily needing to fully think about everything and listen to every opinion and perspective; there is a lot more of an inherent understanding, trust, and awareness of the collective whole which makes decision making and seeing whats good for the system as a whole a lot easier

It's honestly way more calming, relaxing, and solid feeling. There is a unique sense of confidence, understanding, and trust within yourself and you have a HUGE arsenal of skills and interests that come from the combined parts that you've lived as

You are a lot more present and aware of your life and you actually get to live YOUR life and have all parts of yourself be engaged in life; no part feels really left behind or is caught off guard from having their brain partially turned off. The awareness is really present and engagement is so much more complete.

More palatable in real life and non-DID/OSDD spaces

Easier to simultaneously use skills from multiple parts at once; very much a jack of all trades all at once situation

Generally easier to integrate multiple complex and otherwise seemingly detatched boxes of memory and the past as you process all the newly accessible memories and information from being highly / fully integrated

Functional Multiplicity Cons:

Takes more intention, focus, and often time to get the same level of full understanding of the whole system when making decisions. It can be slow and it requires a lot more internal engagement which can make it harder to be fully present in life

Sometimes you can get what I call "lite" amnesia where a part was not paying attention and doesn't fully process what was going on / what is going on and so sometimes you get poor attention-driven "amnesia". It's small and easily recovered by simply going "hold up wait" and thinking back or asking another part

Harder to use skills from different parts at the same time; albeit definitely still possible and only "harder" relative to final fusion

Generally harder / requires intentional discussion between parts to integrate multiple complex boxes as you process all the newly accessible memories and information from being highly / fully integrated

Final Fusion Cons:

Less direct and overt bantering and discussion between parts (still present by the way, just less frequent and less overt). It can be a little less fun (still is fun cause they are sill there) and it can be a bit harder to fully see the extent of a more extreme perspective

It can be tiring and overwhelming to be aware and present so much for so long if you were accustomed to the breaks DID / OSDD tends to give parts

Easier to forget to use a lot of the skills and hobbies that may have been more niche to less-dominant and less-prominent parts; you don't "loose" the skills, you just aren't accustomed to using them as much so you can just kinda forget to use them

Harder to focus on a targetted recovered memory / information that you want to process and can sometimes be a bit overwhelming trying to connect a number of things at once

And this is all just to say that both are absolutely astonishing and great places to mentally be. The main point is that - for us - sometimes one state works better for us in the moment and another state works better for us later and that's completely cool cause - as aforementioned - the difference between plural vs singular is not a binary one for us anyways.

Anyways, I don't know how to wrap this up so I'mma just post it

Ideally today we will focus on cultivating our independent parts and return to Functional Multiplicity end of the spectrum so I guess tata for now

-Feathers

EDIT and PS: Anyone is allowed to add their thoughts to this so long it is in good faith.

[training-trio-irl]

Fusions have returned! And this time, I’m here with my hand-picked V3 fusions. I’ve been developing a Fusion AU for all three main game casts, and hopefully one day I’ll get to share my designs for the 1st and 2nd game as well!

— Below are some descriptions of each character. They’re a bit longer than I hoped for, but I would really appreciate if you took a quick read through them if you are at all interested in this AU! —

—===—

Kaeki Harumatsu => While in the foster care system, Kaeki has had to help care for many siblings, and her main method was to create and preform stories for them to be relaxed and entertained by. Her stories were very engaging and imagination-sparking for kids, and word of her talent quickly got around, leading to her publishing books and reading her fairytales at children’s events! She is soft spoken, but compassionate and resilient, and very much a leader. Despite her anxieties, she is always striving to achieve a bright future, not just for herself, but for the next generation too.

Shutaro Amahara => One day, Shutaro accidentally got caught up in an expedition through a rarely traversed jungle, lead by his uncle and his archaeology team. After single-handedly coming across never before seen ruins from an ancient civilization, however, he promptly received his ultimate talent. Now he continues to accompany his uncle, and with his exceptional observational skills, survival tactics, and adaptability, has made many profound discoveries. At the end of the day, however, Shutaro would much prefer to be back home, spending time with his three little sisters and stepping out of the spotlight.

Kaikichi Oumota => Kaikichi claims to be the captain of a crew comprised of thousands of members, dispersed all over the world helping those in need. Whether that is true or not, one can not deny that his never ending sea of anecdotes from their travels seem too detailed to be entirely fiction. He is relentlessly positive and strives to maintain a happy atmosphere, to the point where he’ll lie about the reality of a given situation in order to avoid fear and conflict. He calls the seven seas his home, but they believe that they can one day reach the stars as well!

Kiibu Irubashi => Coming from a family of engineers, Kiibu was no stranger to creating little machines with whatever materials were available to them. They always had a knack for robotics, but her incredible abilities were proven when, after a horrible car accident that resulted in the amputation of their right arm, he constructed the world’s first ever working cybernetic arm. Ever since their recognition as an ultimate, her ego has intensified tenfold. While their confidence has proved useful in presenting prototypes and giving speeches, it seems to drive away any potential friends he hopes to make. So for now, this eccentric will stick to building bots to pass the time.

Gorumi Tokuhara => Gorumi got taken in by a very affluent family at a young age after supposedly being separated from his real family in a hiking trip, although the whereabouts of his parents were never uncovered. Growing up, he was tasked with many chores around his adoptive family’s estate, and now serves many members of the upper class around Japan. He is very caring and calculated in nature, but he has also successfully and willingly taken on many assignments that involved physical altercations. Gorumi will do anything to keep peace and order among his friends, but isn’t stingy when it comes to them having some childish fun!

Ryokiyo Shinoshi => It is certainly bizarre that this world famous cricket prodigy turned convicted serial killer got accepted into Hope’s Peak Academy, but that seems to be more common than you’d think for this government-funded high school. Despite his enrollment, there is now doubt that his life has forever been ruined by his actions, but Ryokiyo doesn’t seem to care all that much. Nowadays, forces like “the rules” and “consequences” don’t seem to phase him. Handcuffs are ready on one of his wrists in case anything gets too out of hand.

Himugi Shiromeno => Himugi is, simply put, unhappy with her talent. It is true that she has assisted many impressive magicians and illusionists, helping them pull off many tricky stunts, but she recognizes that, compared to other talents at Hope’s Peak, hers is underwhelming. Of course, she can’t deny that she is grateful to attend such a prestigious academy, but she wished it would be for something cooler. Regardless, she does her best to focus on what’s important to her: following the rules, getting good grades, and making new talented friends! She still can’t help but be a little cynical, though…

Angko Chabanaga => Coming from a small but tight-knit community, she put her home on the map after joining a famous aerial arts troupe and quickly becoming the star of the show. Angko is always on the move, both physically and metaphorically, and her chaotic lifestyle can be hard for others to keep up with. Her larger-than-life aura may seem a bit standoffish at first, but in reality she is very outgoing and kind, always doing what she can to support others.

As always, if anyone has any suggestions, fun ideas, or ways to incorporate better the aspects of either component in a fusion, feel free to send an ask or leave it in the tags!

[thefourchimes]

lots of encanto AUs i want to talk about so here you go

so uh, i've been brain rotting and hyperfixating on encanto for a bit now, and its been very fun

tho i've barely talked about some of the ideas and aus i have and want to share, so i guess i want to do that now in a way, so uh... (mirabel voice) lets go lets go

List of AUs here:

Time Travel AU

Big Hero 6 AU

[Redacted] AU (not the au's actual name, hidden for reasons)

Ghost Cocoon AU (fusion idea au i came up with of the cocoon au by @raefever and ghost grandchildren au by @jerseyk112, both found in @gamerbearmira's blog)

Giftless Grandkids AU (idea by anon, also found in @gamerbearmira's blog)

Undertale AU

Gravity Falls AU

P.S. some of these au ideas are not originally mine, but i've contributed to them in some way, and i've credited and tagged the creators

More information of the AUs found below

1. Time Travel AU

first au i've ever thought about, cool hue sisters centered, because i love them sm and i was still finding my footing in encanto and the fandom when i thought of this au, and yeah

its where isabela and luisa get sent back to the past after going after and protecting mirabel as casita falls

i gained the idea after seeing how the two older sisters were still so terrified of alma and disappointing her that they couldn't stand up for mirabel and for themselves, but as casita was falling, they weren't about to let their baby sister go, not after everything

despite this being the first au, its also still really vague and barebones in a sense, not much planned yet and its all just vibes, plus i just really wanted a cool sisters au because i love them sm

2. Big Hero 6 AU

ah yes, big hero 6 au, my beloved

came to be when i figured out bear aka @gamerbearmira's reference in one of her encanto one shots, the scooby doo one where they got arrested, and she used bh6's aunt cass' rant for alma's rant in said one shot, and then it led me to realize the potential of encanto big hero 6 au with bear, so that was fun

there's a post in bear's blog for the au, so you can check it out

there's a bunch more info that we haven't shared yet, but it's all written up in the docs for it, so yesyes

honestly been a bit since i touched the au personally, as i keep getting distracted by the other ones below

but yeah, planning on exploring of this au soon <3

3. [Redacted] AU

ah yes, this au, the 120 and counting pages one in my docs

and the 120 pages are mostly just details and planning for the au, not a single written thing yet

this au is not called redacted au, but the name itself is redacted because the word itself is a bit of a spoiler and im still trying to find a better name for it in general

i have no idea how to explain this au

first thing to mention is how its very much inspired by Take Back the Kingdom by @optimistic-violinist and @impossiblefangirl0632 (sorry for the tag, i can take it out if you'd like) and i really really recommend this fic, its so so good and it changed my brain chemistry on so many levels

so yes, i really got inspired by this fic, and it will very much be shown in this particular au with some things and tropes, but ofc im doing my own spin on stuff and the details, and from what i have rn, i think it really evolved and is still evolving as time goes on

another thing to note about this is how the idea came to be because of TBTK inspiration and a dream i had on the day i was taking a metaphysics midterms exam (this is completely unnecessary to mention but oh well, i still remember that moment so vividly)

the dream impacted just exactly how this au is going to go

what is the dream about? you'll find out whenever i get to write this au

all i can say without spoiling much is that there are lots of memory shenanigans and angst, plus the very fun trope of "your found family is your actual family"

also once more, read take back the kingdom, very good fic, 11/10, much recommend, will reread again

4. Ghost Cocoon AU

this au is the fusion of the Cocoon au and the Ghost Grandkids au, both still found in @/gamerbearmira's blog

ghost grandkids au is from @jerseyk112 and cocoon au is from @raefever, and ofc bear has a lot of ideas and thoughts for these aus in her blog

i was rereading bear's cocooned fic for the 17123723507 time and while i was at it, i remembered the ghost grandchildren au, so i decided it would be pretty fun to fuse the two aus together in some way

and so i did (first ask, second ask)

basic premise of this au is really just the ghost kids' healing and them protecting their younger selves and their family

this fusion au interested me so much that it got to the point where i actually wrote a 3683 word first chapter of sorts(?) for this fusion au already (bear has seen it but i havent posted it at all)

planning on continuing it when i feel like it tho hehe

so yes its been wild with this one

5. Giftless Grandkids AU

giftless grandkids au, my beloved

just as the name says, au where all the grandkids are giftless

all i can say is everything and nothing changes all at the same time with this

this au was sent and suggested by an anon in bear's blog

this is also the one where bear and i went wild on for the past few days

pretty sure bear is gonna be writing this au, if im not mistaken? so its very exciting

there's a lot in store for this au and it'll be fun

6. Undertale AU

undertale au yesyes

not the type where the characters are these characters tho

this idea is where we'll be throwing the grandkids into the underground for an adventure of a lifetime!

so basically characters of one media meet characters of the other media type

and the kids are gonna be going through the plot of undertale, technically in frisk's shoes here

this au is still very vibes and not much planned, there's lots of potential to play around tho, so im thinking of exploring this at some point soon

7. Gravity Falls AU

gravity falls au this time!!

now this au is the one pure vibes one, absolutely zero planning or thoughts, just vibes and aspirations for it

not even sure if it'll be like the undertale au where characters of one media will meet characters of the other media or if it'll be characters from this media are gonna be these characters of that media in this au

i just thought it would be fun to have an encanto gravity falls au idea, but still dont know where it'll be going in general

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

So that's about it, there's actually a few more ideas i havent mentioned yet, but let's just say these ideas are exactly like the gravity falls au vibing no planning, except much worse in a sense, so i have no idea what kind of footing there will be at all with those aus

but anyway, i digress, these are some of the ideas and aus i have and would love to share and write and uh, yeah

if you have any questions on these aus, feel free to ask if ever, my asks are open (this is the first time im saying this in a post omg help)

but anyway yes the brainrot and hyperfixation is real

if you got here to the end, congrats have a pic of my dog for your effort and dedication <333 see you around <3

[ambyandony]

heres the limbo fusions with the rest of the vento aureo main protags

Limbo + Mista

Mimbo - any pronouns

"Are u lost bbygrl? :)"

(They give a weird stare if asked for a full name. They only use Mimbo, even though it’s a combination of Limbo’s forename and Mista’s surname.)

most stable Limbo fusion merely by virtue of Mista’s simple ability to just not give a fuck.

GET YOUR GUN OUT OF YOUR CLEAVAGE!

bitch gon step on my fuckin toe bitch with them fuckin cowgirl fuckin boots

VITALLY important that you know that despite being easily mistaken as fem on first glance, Mimbo also has the deepest voice of any Limbo fusion for literally no reason other than it’s funny to me. They also have sideburns

Stand: Mighty Wings - Redirects Signals. Still a colony Stand, looks like tiny little pastel fighter jets!

Limbo + Abbacchio

Lio Adkio - they/them

“Don’t say SHIT about my mascara or my eyeliner.”

“In fact, don’t fucking look at me or I’ll have to kill you or myselves.”

stable only because when Limbo started panicking in the mindspace, Abbacchio simply pointed and snapped at her to CALM THE FUCK DOWN. and she did so immediately.

nicer than Abbacchio. not by that much, though… but weirdly apologetic about it.

the eyeliner doesn’t appear to be due to crying, it seems that it just looks like that.

bazongas?

Stand: Keeping The Faith? Never Too Late? Shawty like a melody-

“rewinds” signals to previous states or connections and/or can do a “replay” of those signals’ succeeded actions (i.e. having a phone replay a prior conversation) Unfortunately, it’s pretty useless in combat.

Limbo + Giorno

Glimbo Giovadkins - she(?)/they/them

“Wouldn’t you like to hear one of my 765 fun facts about aerodynamics, animals or Air Bud?”

“I also have a few facts about botany, blood and birds.”

stable, until they’re not. they’re incredibly calm and delightful, but when they think someone’s mad at them they panic and start excessively apologising.

genuinely the softest cutest sweetest lil bitch you’ve ever seen. also traumatised with a guilty conscience and can flip on a dime in a terrifying way.

shortest Limbo fusion for no clear reason? shorter than both Limbo and Giorno.

Squalo’s worst fear.

sounds pretty much how you would expect.

Stand: Crystal Dolphin - can transform signals into life—by taking the signals out of something, typically disabling it, they can create life like Gold Experience can. The more complex the device, the bigger its potential creation.

Limbo + Buccellati

Bimbo Luno Adkellati - they/them

"...I've lost the conversation. I'm gonna go make pizza!"

Megan Thee Stallion?!

has no idea what’s going on for some reason? always looks a little confused and loses track of conversations very quickly.

very good with kids! practically unable to have a coherent conversation with Abbacchio. They don’t seem too distressed, but they just stop making much sense and seem to confuse themselves.

Stand: When Doves Cry? Perhaps Freewill? Uhm… I don’t know? Maybe it can sort of, ‘zip’ signals together, combining two or more functions into one sent signal? Bruno's ability is just so specific... I can't think of many ideas.

Limbo + Fugo

Fimbo (Pannalimbo Adkigo) - they/them

"STOP TALKING ABOUT FREUD BEFORE I KILL YOU WITH MY FUCKING BRACELETS!!!"

( Note: all currently depicted instances of Fimbo seem to be post-PHF, as Fimbo is almost always seen with the mouth scars hidden by the tattoo.)

enemy of the state. punches fascists. lovecore punk goth. in terms of authority figures they only respect Buccellati and Limbo’s dad.

AuDHD trauma poster child. Short fuse but very friendly until something sets them off and they start screaming and or burst into fucking tears.

Self-love in the sense that the fusionmates care about each other deeply and both sides are trying to look out for the other knowing the other won't look out for themself.

Stand: Cabin Fever - Terrifying deathly virus that, rather than being airborne like Purple Haze, is passed though signal transmission. Fimbo doesn’t know if the virus is the same as Purple Haze, a different strain of it, or something entirely different. It spreads most quickly through vocal communication between two people.

Limbo + Narancia

Nimbus Ghirgins - he/they/she

"tummyache... :("

Libby why does my stomach feel like it’s going to fucking collapse in on itself and why are my knuckles torn? aren’t they supposed to bruise when you punch?

bad relationship with food. Hanahaki disease, what are you doing here? (/ij)

sometimes they find Mista sitting around, sit next to him and fall asleep on him immediately

incredibly bad with emotions and doesn’t even get angry they just get overwhelmed instantly at any presence of significant emotion

Stand: Falling in Love/Hard on the Knees - who the fuck let this kid control CO2 emissions?? They can barely control themselves???

[anewp0tat0]

yea no I lied, I couldn't leave before doing this cause obviously I'm obsessed. obviously.

here's what I could research about the staff highlighted to be working on Black Butler season 4 in the time and patience that I had right now.

Kenjiro Okada: Director

I did some casual gathering on the good ol Wik. I don't recognize a lot or any of the previous works that he has been a part of, but it is a plenty some, so feel free to take a look for yourself. for a better idea, I took a glance at him through IMBD as well. I gotta be honest, not to cause any concern but just to be blunt, it's not the best look. when briefly checking out the works that he's done, a good some of them only make it up to 6 stars. only a few actually make it up to 8. but of course this could be due to a couple different factors, such as the source materials being not well known, or just not that great to begin with. after all he works mainly with adaptation. this could be his big break idk maybe :>

further on that, here's something I borrowed from Wiki.

honestly, this could be a potential concern as well. we all know that an unfortunate part of the fandom, especially over in japan, is into things the rest of us would rather not see in anime. I don't know why else yana would continue to add fan-service time and time again(I'd rather not think of her personal preferences). so if this person is really interested in pandering to the fanbase, it may lead to some scenes being uncomfortable... as usual. but, I shouldn't focus on the negative, all in all this looks like it will be a good thing! all we want from an anime adaptation is for it to be faithful to the manga, and especially after season 1 and 2, I think this assurance is much needed. besides, this could be an indication that he will be working closely with Yana, and projects that do so have succeeded *points to campania*. I'm optimistic, and I sure hope that we're in good hands.

Hiroyuki Yoshino: Head Writer

so unless I'm looking at a different Hiroyuki Yoshino it looks like this guy is a voice actor and singer first... interesting. as far as I can see it, he hasn't voice acted anyone in Black Butler.

oh no yea completely different guy, my bad! very different. the Real Hiroyuki Yoshino(screenwriter) was the screenwriter for Book of the Atlantic! sorry. we're all good here, perfect in fact.

unless he decides to substitute someone else for the double charles :] I still remember that. I don't remember if they're in this arc and personally I wanna keep it that way.

more info.

Yumi Shimizu: Character design

I'm not really jumping out of my seat to research this one, no offense to the designer, but I don't think we'll be seeing much character design other than Yana's. as for the artistic style of the anime, we already saw the teaser, and I think we're happy(I am really trilled that they released the announcement at the same time as the teaser, the announcement alone would not have had the same huge impact. plus it reduces the fear of cancelation ;] not putting that out there).

more info.

Ryo Kawasaki: Music

this is someone I really wanted to look into cause the music will matter a lot to me.

I found it, here's the soundtrack for the upcoming season 4.

with a background of jazz and band(popularizes to fusion genre apparently), this guy doesn't appear to fit with previous Black Butler soundtrack history. but I think that this is an indication that the mood and music of this season may be different of the rest due to it now being a sports show lol. and I think that's good! if done right I think the tone change will be hilarious, or, if everyone hates it, it's easily distinguishable from the rest.

I think this will be fun. here's more. also he looks awesome. impressive guy. man I'm praying for a killer new opening GOD.

I still wonder who the composer for the more classical score that I saw in the teaser is, if not him. it was nice :>

and finally:

CloverWorks

they're doing Spy X Family, did The Promised Neverland, Shadow House, many more that even I know of, we're good!

their page

a lot of y'all are very savvy at research, so if anyone wants to add on or contradict, go ahead! have a very, lovely day, everyone.

[another-lost-mc]

JES YOU UPDATED, the kids miss you/j

I've been busy doing a lot of nothing, if that makes sense. Well, maybe not nothing - a random assortment of rl and blog odds-and-ends that don't seem very productive but I'm going to call it self-care. lol

(read more cause this got longer than I thought it would.)

I don't usually take March Break off work, but my empty schedule this year surprised me and I didn't really know what to do with myself. I spent the first few days fending off a persistent headache, then I spent some time re-watching Helluva Boss and Hazbin Hotel while I worked on some crossover/fusion potential with OM. Today the headache is back and I'm dog-sitting which shouldn't be as distracting as it is. (She's only a little Boston Terrier but my cats get all worked up about it even though they're the ones stalking her around the house for no reason.)

I've also been playing Honkai Star Rail. I have no idea what I'm doing but it's kind of fun. I want to give Genshin Impact a try too, but I'm not sure I want to play both. (I know dailies are optional blah blah blah but if I'm going to spend time doing busywork like that, I might as well go back to playing WoW.)

Someone sent me another ask about my current WIPs so I think I'll just ramble about them here.

The canon cast and OC post for surgery!anon. I'm trying to balance fluff and angst and realism and make it comforting at the same time (aka what I would've wanted to read before mine). There's some overlap with a post about Solomon's humanity that's it's own separate WIP.

Naming conventions in the Devildom and CR. These are my worldbuilding ideas to explain how Solomon has an established pact with Bathin (my OC for Mephisto's younger brother) since he's part of the Ars Goetia. This also discusses how those same ideas apply to Luke.

Fleshing out the angel OC stuff with Gabriel and Uriel. They're situated in the AU where MC is sent to the CR for the exchange program and not the Devildom which is why I haven't talked about them much. I have the fem!angel OC as well but I don't know what to name her (I want her to be like Zee where she's an "ordinary" angel). To be fair, she's probably not going to show up much outside of the story I originally wrote for her.

Genderbending-the-OCs anon, you have no idea what this is doing to me. It changes their kinks and their dynamics and how they would approach MC and I am mentally screaming into a pillow right now.

I've been writing directly in my Tumblr drafts lately, but I found a holiday fic for Solomon in my google docs. I thought it was a WIP but then I re-read it and it turns out I actually finished it and somehow forgot about it? Like...how does someone even do that. Anyway, do we want a smutty Solomon Xmas-in-March fic? (It's only holiday-ish because of a corny mistletoe joke on his part.)

On a random note, part of me regrets not making separate blogs for AT and my OCs (for organizational purposes) and I'm lowkey tempted to do it anyway.

If you read all this, you get a prize! Enjoy some chibis that I've been collecting like they're for my OC Pokedex. These are by sempa and ocha respectively.

[spop-romanticizes-abuse]

We already know your feelings on C//A, but are there any other ships that you actually like? Or also dislike?

are you talking about ships in spop or in general? in spop, i like glimmadora (as i'm sure it's already quite obvious) and entrapdak. i also liked huntfuma, i think they had more chemistry than scorfuma. and scorptra had a lot of potential too, until they ruined it in s4.

all the other ships were just meh for me. rogelio and kyle was an interesting choice but there's not much in canon to suggest that these two would make a good couple.

outside of spop, here are the ships that i like from animated shows:

ryan x min-gi (infinity train; not a canon couple but they're canon in my heart <3)

steven x connie (steven universe; such a cute ship, i have no idea why it got so much hate at one point)

sokka x suki x zuko (atla; again only sokka x suki is canon but i like the idea of them being a polycule)

eda x raine (the owl house; we need more queer ships between middle aged or older characters!! <3)

pearl x rose/pink diamond (steven universe; an example of a well-written unhealthy relationship)

vi x caitlyn (arcane; actually GOOD enemies to lovers ship)

amaya x janai (the dragon prince; actually GOOD enemies to lovers ship pt.2)

lapis x jasper (steven universe; another example of a well-written abusive relationship honestly i just like their fusion more than the ship itself)

and here are the ships that i dislike (i might make a detailed post about this sometime):

mako x korra (the legend of korra; the whole love triangle was a huge mess but makorra in particular was pretty toxic imo)

lapis x peridot (steven universe; not canon and i'm so glad they didn't make it canon)

taku x rikako (ocean waves; the only ghibli movie i HATE, there was such a good setup for a mlm relationship and they ruined it)

hunter x willow (the owl house; poorly written, no development and completely takes a shit on hunter's character arc)

varrick x zhu li (the legend of korra; i regret to say i once shipped them but looking back it's so obvious how unhealthy their relationship was, zhu li deserves so much better)

there may be more but these are the ones i can think of at the moment! hope that answers your question!!

[lime-bloods]

Not an Enigma, and Certainly Not a Curse: the "Ultimate Self" in Hussie's Own Words

I've found myself, lately, in several conversations in a row where the other guy and myself weren't on the same page about what the Ultimate Self meant; and though I welcome the opportunity for discussion, explaining my position over and over again has cost me minutes of my screen life that I simply won't win back. So this post is a departure from my usual fare in that it's more for my own benefit than that of anybody else.

I've been over Davepeta's "superceding bodyless and timeless persona that crosses the boundaries of paradox space" enough already, so if you're interested in the Ultimate Self as it is in Homestuck, I recommend you read "Homestuck's Gnosticism: The Conflict", and then, if that piques your attention, you continue with the follow-up "The World/The Wheel". For the purposes of this post, though, I want to keep analysis, interpretation and hypothesising to a minimum. As the title indicates, this is the Ultimate Self not as I describe it, or as characters describe it, but - so to speak - straight from the horse's mouth.

In Andrew Hussie's commentary on Homestuck: Book 6, p. 312:

Oftentimes, when characters lose certain qualities that came to define them, there's this sense of liberation they seem to experience. They become a happier, more relieved, easier-going version of themselves. When Aradia ditches a defining quality we came to know her by (being dead), she becomes a much happier and self-actualized Aradia. Sollux also seems to be chilling out now that his defining properties (bifurcation, etc.) have been KO'd. He had a mouth full of gnarly teeth that gave him a wicked lisp (gone), eyes full of nasty laser beams (gone, along with his eyesight), and a brain full of doomsday visions and bipolar disorder (also gone—well, maybe not the bipolar thing, because that's probably not how that works, but whatever). You get more of this kind of thing in even higher degrees with some of the fusion stuff that happens later (Arquius, Davepeta), where characters become almost euphoric versions of themselves for having been completely liberated from certain self-limitations which previously defined them. The concept of an "ultimate self," which appears much later, probably has its roots way back to stuff like this, which got the ball rolling on the idea that a more complete or fulfilled self is one that becomes free from mortal limitations, or the idiosyncrasies which comprise a specific instance of one version of yourself. Hence an ultimate self is an aggregate of someone's full potential. It's not just doing away with negative traits, but summing up all iterations of yourself, including ones without those traits, allowing you to move beyond them. Or maybe more accurately, to view them as insignificant in the grand totality of what a person really is.

Importantly, what Hussie does here is draw the conceptual line from the themes of Acts 1-5 to what are often interpreted by some as radically different, even left-field themes through Act 6. Think of this as an extension of one of Homestuck's meta-themes, where the comic undergoes a series of escalations that take simple conflicts to their logical extremes: we start the story worried about a Reckoning which might destroy the Earth, then end up with the more pressing concern that a Rapture is about to end reality as we know it. The Ultimate Self is the end result of the exact same kind of escalation; where the God Tiers are a method of becoming a better version of oneself by merging with one's "ideal" dream body, the Ultimate Self is the logical conclusion that one can become the best version by unifying with every body.

To draw my own conceptual line back to Homestuck: Book 5, page 409:

This connects to the basic question of whether to embrace the regimentation of a heroic path conveniently laid out for you (the expectation), or to reject it as the shallow and rigid confinement of personal destiny (the deviation). These issues are expressed through the fundamental language of platonic idealism: perfect ideas of things, and then specific, imperfect instances of those ideas, or varied permutations, evolutions, or hacks of those ideas through alchemy. The way Sburb "should" go is an ideal (expectation), but the disastrous, chaotic way it actually goes is an imperfect instance (deviation). An "idea" of a person, such as Rose, along with her regimented heroic quest for growth, and all the great things she might imagine herself to become if she followed it, is an ideal (expectation). The messy, flawed, yet more genuinely human individual she does become resulting from her errant choices and rejection of formalism, is an imperfect instance of an ideal (deviation). What's the bottom line here? This is a lot. I know it's a lot. Homestuck is, in fact, a lot.

I've added some of my own emphasis there again, but that whole extract is worth reading. The reason I bolded that part is because this "Platonic idealism" is something Hussie talks about a lot in his commentary, and I think that commentary is essential reading for anyone who wants to even get their foot in the door on this topic. Again, this is something I've blogged about extensively already, so there's more than just Hussie's word to take for it if you're really interested; but for the sake of this post, I'll finish off with, again, what Hussie himself has to say on the matter, all the way back in Homestuck: Book 1, page 123:

With things like Athenums and Perfectly Generic Objects locked and loaded, Sburb architecture seems to be circling widely around a game abstraction-based systemization of Platonic idealism. Homestuck deals with what I am going to roughly characterize as THEMES.

[hythlodaeus-mynewoldfriend]

Mayncient Day 23: Dearest

Get Along Without You

Had the first part in my wips for ages and had sudden inspiration for this day so here it is for you all! no warnings. word count 1.4k

They’re both lucky enough to have a full moon that casts enough light in the darkest parts of the city to allow them to walk in peace. Lucky enough that when they do finally come to a spot in the empty park there’s just enough shadow to allow for their masks to be removed.

Conner sits closer to the path, letting his height add protection to Elidibus’ identity despite it being well into the hours that any sane person would be in bed. Even with the white mask and black robes the Emissary still fears the potential backlash should he be found with Conner, a sentiment that he understands. Yet in this moonlit spot Conner can see the man relax as if they were behind closed doors, a smile playing on his lips as he watches Elidibus look up at the stars. “It’s quiet tonight,” he says, his white hair blowing gently in the small breeze, “something I wouldn’t expect of this place. Always noise. People, kids, and little animals during the day.”

“It's nice.” Conner inhales deeply, smiling and looking up at the sky also, “This has become my favorite time of day now.”

Elidibus frowns, “It used to be dawn.”

Conner shrugs, “It's still the early morning technically. Besides, a person’s favorite time of day can change or also just have multiple favorites.”

“Not with you Conner. You were-.”

“You’re not going to change my mind on being with you Elidibus,” he assures, “I know back then it felt like there were no consequences because it was just sex, but I still could have left when this became a lot more than that. I know what air we must put on when the white robes are on and we are at work keeping a little closer to the shadows, a small price to pay to have the times like this where you are better dressed for the shadows and yet do everything except stay in them.”

“If only we never had to in the first place. Do you not wish to be more open at work? Among friends?”

“I think in all cases there is a certain kind of secrecy when in a working environment out of professionalism so not much would change on that front really. As for friends, well,” Conner chuckles, shaking his head, “we already are, as they know not to ask too many questions. You remember how Hythlodaeus’ partner was when we happened to cross paths as the two were making their way home?”

The memory brings a small smile back to Elidibus’ face, “I do not believe I had ever seen Anthea more authoritative than in that moment.” He sighs, shoulders relaxing as he leans against Conner, fingers becoming entwined with his, “I just wish that I, as Themis, can be enough for you as Elidibus certainly cannot be.”

Conner tilts his head upward, caressing his jawline to let his hand become loosely entangled in the long white hair. He brings his lips down softly to his, the chill of the night air disappearing in an instant even as Conner pulls away just far enough to whisper, “It will never matter to me who you are. You are by my side right now and that is enough.”

It isn’t enough in this time of calamity when Elidibus recalls that moment as the skies darken and people flee below the earth. Things are going to plan as he can feel that starting fusion of worlds, of another piece of Zodiark stitched by his brethren, and of the decimation of a world he never cared to know. He stopped trying to get to know the people of those broken worlds after they were successful in rejoining the first piece to Him. What was the point when they weren’t supposed to exist to begin with? He’d stick to those that would become whole once again.

It was a third attempt to see if there was something more to it all, if The Shepherd on the moon was right to have abandoned them all those years ago like Emet-Selch had said. Three attempts and this would be the last. He can already see how this one ends, can already feel the slow crawl of grief that’s never sat nicely since the world he knew fell apart, can see this version doing what Elidibus can only assume happened the first time. 

These people don’t have magic yet that doesn’t stop this incarnation of Conner weaving through destruction getting as many as he can underground. He’s had several close calls with the smoke engulfing him and lightning starting to rain down and still it does not deter the man….and each time it causes a panic to rise in Elidibus briefly. Each time he wonders if this will be the moment he witnesses the death of his dearest and so he intervenes in ways imperceptible to those of this era. His brethren would scoff at the intervention, and he can’t blame them, this is only one man and what was a single man compared to the many they were working on bringing back? The preservation of this one man is not worth the whole of the star. 

Yet how would they know that this one man, his soul on its first journey in this new world, was the only reasoning he could find to let them continue with what they were doing. That maybe, just maybe, he could have the power to bring him back, get back that little piece of his heart that was given in exchange for the hopes of many. To see those blue eyes framed by ebony hair once again, to hear his laughter when they tried to dance and Elidibus couldn’t help but try to take the lead which had their legs tangled as they fell to the ground, to feel his own heart race when their eyes would meet in the Convocation building knowing what could come next. To experience the smell of the various herbs and plants he kept just for the joy of it once more, and to taste the cool moonlight on Conner’s lips as the sun rose to remind them of duty that always won. This one man was a reminder of what he sacrificed…. 

And what a mistake it was to have indulged in this fantasy.

Their time together was bliss. The way they met almost like the first time, but it wasn’t uncertainty about his new appointment that kept him silent, but the instant recognition of his eyes among features that were nothing like Conner. Elidibus didn’t need to check the color of his soul to know it was him, though he did anyway, it was enough to have those soulful eyes look at him once more. Enough to bring him back to this incarnation and strike up conversation after conversation in an openness Elidibus hadn’t known when the world was whole. To create a fleeting life within that freedom and to fall once more for someone that was a close approximation to the man he lost. Yet fleeting is all this ever was, even if he was to live to be old and grey a few decades is nothing in the centuries Elidibus has lived. He knows this and still it hurts. Still it hurts to see them all leave in ways that feel unnatural, after centuries of witnessing and being the cause of millions of deaths he still cannot stop the torturous pain from enveloping him. He wants to be free of this cycle….

So this will be the last time he lives among them. The last time he will go searching for those he once knew. The last time he will let himself be distracted by the doubts that plague his mind. The last time he will let himself recall or create memories to hold onto. After this Calamity he will once again put duty above all else. 

But first he will get this incarnation of Conner to the fleeting safety of the ground. Will stay with him for the last two months he has before returning to the sea to begin once again. Will hold him during his last breaths and mourn with the others before disappearing into the shadows, where he will stay dressed in white to perform his duty like he did so long ago. All the while holding onto the fact that he for just a moment had Conner right by his side….

….and it wasn’t enough….

[sometimes-love-is-enough]

weird question, but- if you were to do a series of unfortunate events au with sanders sides, how would you place characters into different roles? i was just curious since you mentioned in the jantigone annotations that you read lemony snicket (LOVED lemony snicket, childhood memories right there lol) and i was suddenly struck with a stark vision of snicket!janus narrating the ordeals of his dead ex-lover thomas's children and i wanted to know what ideas you might have ^^

What a brilliant question. If I ever wrote an ASOUE crossover, it would mostly likely be canonverse, because that’s the way my brain likes to go with these sort of things! I think c!Thomas would be quite awful at looking after a trio of orphaned children, and possibly even worse at seeing through a Count Olaf disguise, and I think even more fun would be had with setting the whole thing partly at a local theatre. Obviously playing a bit fast and loose with the way the Sides can interact with real people, but don’t I always?

Most things I write, and especially crossovers/fusions, are challenges to myself; i.e., me asking myself, can I write this certain strange thing and make it make sense? And in the case of a lot of the crossovers, the challenge and the fun is taking two different canons, often with different styles and sense of humor, and fusing them together smoothly. And in this case, the most fun bit about a ASOUE/TSS crossover for me would be performing that reconciliation of tone and style smoothly - and I think I could manage that best with canonverse. (If you've ever wondered why I write so many canon fusions, here's your answer.)

BUT if I were to take a route closer to the one you’re probably suggesting here, Janus as the Lemony narrator would indeed be very fun… but I think I’d probably actually lean more to LOGAN as the narrator character, and have Janus be an active VFD member (with the disguises and such). Not sure who is cast as the kids, I swore I’d never write another kidfic after the Matilda AU but I’m bad at keeping promises. I think maybe Remus and Roman as a twin duo would be funky, and if I’m doing that I might genuinely leave it as just the two of them, with the other Sides coming in and out of the narrative as required.

I think I’ve mentioned before that I don’t find straight-up role-replacement AUs terribly interesting to write for the most part; it’s much more fun to try to work out where the canon characters would fit into the universe as they are without trying to fit them into preordained boxes. In this case, I figure Virgil, Patton, Janus, and Thomas (maybe Emile too, why not?) would be Potential Guardians for the twins in this case, all with their own specific problems and Snicketesque Situations to deal with. No idea who the Olaf character would be. The Dragon Witch is always a good standby, I guess? Or maybe Remy? If I wrote this properly I'd put tons of thought into it, this is just me throwing things at the wall.

...That being said, fuckin LOVE Thomas as Janus's Beatrice. If anyone less inclined to weird esoteric crossover stuff than I am ever writes that, please let me know, I'd eat it all the way up.

[sepublic]

The Grapple Beam's in-universe chronology is interesting to me; It was first introduced in Super Metroid as the precursor to the Space Jump. Then we got Metroid Prime, which is modeled after Super, and has the Grapple Beam. Prime takes place before Super, hence Space Pirates having Metroids in their possession; And that's worth noting is that the Grapple Beam isn't something Samus first finds on Tallon IV. No, it's something she already has when she begins the game, and then regains while exploring the planet.

Meaning before Prime, she must've gotten the Grapple Beam; But the only game before that is Zero Mission, where it's completely absent. And that raises an interesting question, a story possibility regarding the circumstances in which Samus acquired the Grapple Beam before responding to the Frigate Orpheon's distress call. In a Metroid show, this would have to be explored/acknowledged.

In particular, I have to consider how Samus gains abilities within this hypothetical Metroid pitch; My idea is to avoid the 'Samus loses all her abilities and has to regain them' bit as much as I can. It makes sense from a gameplay perspective, but from a storytelling one, we can afford to play fast and loose here.

With Fusion, it makes perfect sense to retain the loss of her abilities; The story itself, the tone, is centered around Samus being set back to square one, being outpaced by the SA-X which still has her abilities, all that stuff. So for the Fusion arc it's mandatory, and makes sense with Samus having chunks of her Power Suit containing those upgrades removed, before they're mutated into the aforementioned SA-X.

Samus Returns won't have this; It's not relevant, it's not needed, it's never even addressed or explained. She's just at square one from the start. Other M, for its infamy, DID at least try to address the repetition with the 'authorization' bit, which was its way of approaching that gameplay trope from a different angle; A horrible angle, but I think that Doylist consideration is definitely necessary. Not that it justifies certain scenes revolving around the authorization issue, but alas...

Prime is an interesting case, since it marks the first moment in the timeline where Samus loses her abilities, and it's a hilariously mundane moment too; She hits a wall because of an explosion and it just resets her entire Power Suit. For a show, that won't happen... Losing her abilities, at least.

I do want to pay homage to that trope by trying to mix things up a bit, esp since we're approaching this from a storytelling and not a gameplay perspective now. So instead of losing her abilities, Samus' suit retains every feature but has difficulty trying to select the correct upgrade. So for example, Samus might try to use the Ice Beam, only to hit something with the Grapple Beam instead; Similarly, she might go for a Morph Ball bomb, only to use a Power Bomb instead.

There's opportunity for humor, and it's like Samus losing her abilities, but still different; This is resolved when on Tallon IV, Samus finds some leftover Chozo tech she uses to repair her Power Suit's nervous system, meaning when she means to use X upgrade, she uses X upgrade. But there's a good chance I'll just leave this bit out, or save it for another arc.

Likewise, I'm taking into account the abilities' chronology here; With Fusion being the exception, the first time Samus encounters an ability within the games' chronology is the first time she encounters it within the show. So Samus gets the Speed Booster during the Zero Mission arc, even if it technically debuted in Super Metroid. She doesn't get another Speed Booster until Fusion, where she defeats Serris-X and absorbs its Core-X. Samus doesn't get the X-ray visor in Zero Mission, because its first chronological appearance is in Prime.

I think there's storytelling potential to seeing Samus discover and use each upgrade; It could be a way to mix up her adventures within an arc by seeing how Samus adjusts to and makes use of this ability in creative ways. So when she gets her first upgrade, the Morph Ball, we see how Samus exploits it a lot. Individual upgrades for Samus act like story beats, and introduce new action sequences with them; Individual episodes can partially revolve around Samus acquiring a certain upgrade.

Of course, this means that when Samus starts off in the first season of the show, all she has is the power beam and that's it. That is... until we remember the Prime games, as well as Mercury Steam's own addition.

Things like the Scan Visor and Melee Counter are always with Samus, no matter what; They're as integral to her as the power beam, and are never shown being acquired. And a Metroid show, I feel, should smooth the differences between the 2D and Prime games, and make both worlds and their aesthetics and mechanics feel fully-integrated from the start.

So consider, the Mimicuria from the manga; It attacks Chairman Keaton prior to Samus' Zero Mission, but she defeats it anyway. Keep in mind she's already a famous bounty hunter, despite not having access to any of her upgrades... But at the same time, Samus is still a skilled warrior, she wears a durable Power Suit with Energy Tanks to protect her; Her arm cannon has infinite ammo, and as mentioned before, she has the Scan Visor.

The Mimicuria is a dangerous bioweapon, but Samus uses her Scan Visor to lay out its anatomy to the audience; The Scan Visor has storytelling potential to highlight the monster of the week, kind of like how in Pokemon or other shows, there's cutaways providing lore on certain tidbits. When Samus scans a creature, things stop to show a diagram as the suit explains to Samus/the audience everything to know.

It singles in on the Mimicuria's weak points, guiding Samus on attacking them. So in addition to her skills and the base Power Suit still being pretty advanced by Federation standards, the Scan Visor is a powerful asset as well; The suit has an extensive database, and they say knowing is half the battle. It helps Samus immediately dissect enemies and figure out solutions, and analyze the environment around her in order to use it.

Pyonchi might raise suspicions towards the disguised Mimicuria, but Samus' Scan Visor could be used to confirm Pyonchi's bad vibes; It being Chozo tech might make it a lot more efficient than most scanners within the setting. Again, this adds to the important distinction that Samus isn't just a badass because of her tools, but because she's smart and knowledgable and creative, making good use of everything; Someone else in her place would easily blunder.

When the Mimicuria lunges, Samus' shots not only injure it, but divert its attacking limbs, the force halting jabs in place. And here we see the physicality to Samus, emphasized by Mercury Steam; She's able to wrangle the monster, and on its last legs, it gets frustrated and reckless, leaving itself wide open as Samus baits it, grounding her feet. It lunges, making a clicking noise identical to the melee counter cues in the Mercury Steam games; Otherwise, such a sound effect is going to be absent for the rest of the show's enemies, because it makes little sense from an in-universe perspective.

Samus melee counters the Mimicuria, which just like in the games, leads to a cinematic, and creates an opening for Samus to shoot the Mimicuria in a vulnerable spot, finishing the creature off. But per her professionalism, she still keeps shooting at it, charring its body to a crisp, just to be safe; It's a bioweapon, it was engineered to carry out a mission. Who knows just how much damage this thing could be programmed to survive? The Federation does not want a horror movie moment where the villain gets up anyway after 'dying'.

As I discuss the Mimicuria scene, a part of me wonders if I should just include the Grapple Beam as part of Samus' arsenal from the very start, to compliment her physicality; The Grapple Beam is one of my favorite upgrades, at least from a fight scene perspective; It has a lot of potential for versatility in how it lets Samus interact with the environment in a more hands-on way, incorporating melee combat and the like to bring things to her, or herself to things, grapple (haha) enemies' limbs and the like, etc.

I think it could make sense, since at the beginning, Samus doesn't have much in terms of technology, so her emphasis would be on her physical combat skills, which the Grapple Beam would compliment. It's much more effective in the show, being able to grapple any object, whereas this is nerfed for obviously gameplay purposes within the games themselves.

I should also address Dread; I definitely want to show off all three phases of the Dread suit in the show, but that can only happen if Samus loses her Varia upgrade. Now it's possible I could just do things differently, have her start off with the standard blue Dread suit... But that does go at odds with the Fusion suit ending with the orange Varia coloration, which then transitions to the orange Dread Varia suit. The explanation could be that the musculature that grows over is blue, before becoming orange...

But there's also the 'Physical Amnesia' thing that Raven Beak makes up. For the Zero Mission arc, Samus knows about her various Chozo upgrades before returning to Zebes; The idea is that in their warrior days, the Chozo had a rite of passage where upgrades would be hidden throughout a natural environment, for a young warrior to find and complete their arsenal with; The challenge is in finding these upgrades, while surviving all the hazards of this environment. Like the game designers, the Chozo in charge of this ritual might intend for certain upgrades to only be accessible once another upgrade is acquired; They liked puzzles, even as violent conquerors.

This is what was planned for Samus when she returned from her time with the Federation, but then Mother Brain ruined those plans; But Samus knew what to expect beforehand, she had what was essentially her To-Do list, and was especially banking on the Missiles and Ice Beam to help against the Metroids when she returned. Samus returning to Zebes was her finally getting to complete that coming-of-age she was made to put off for so long.

ZDR is a Chozo planet, and the Mawkin would've still been practicing rituals like this because they were still warriors. So given Dread's plot of Raven Beak attempting to mold Samus into his heir and apprentice, and awaken her Metroid DNA... I can see him removing her upgrades within the show, in order to force Samus to redo that trial all over again, for symbolic and practical purposes; Because she did her Thoha trial, now it's time for Samus to do her Mawkin trial and embrace that aspect of her heritage too.

The Dread arc is about Samus coming to terms with the Chozo's violent past, seeing a different side of them than before; So it makes sense it would also reflect, in a darker way, the scavenger hunt she did in Zero Mission. And while I can't remember if it was explicitly stated, I think there is an implication that the EMMIs' abilities weren't programmed by Exelion; They had Chozo abilities because Raven Beak transferred Samus' upgrades to them, which is why she gets them back after defeating an EMMI.

In other words, it's like how Samus loses her abilities to the Ing, and then has to regain each one individually from a corresponding thief that has made use of it. The difference being that in the Echoes arc, the Ing don't remove Samus' abilities, they just copy them, because I want to avoid doing the lost upgrades bit as much as I can. But as I've said, with Dread there could be thematic relevance to Samus' original rite of passage, and with the EMMI adding to that justification, it might be that Samus loses and recovers her abilities only twice in the show. Although, Fusion and Dread are back-to-back, which means so are these losses; Dread's incident might come across as repetitive regardless.