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horansqueen · 4 years

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You & Me : chapter 12

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

Sequel to AM CONVERSATIONS

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -4.9k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- notes: i hope it sorta hit a bit? does it sting? it had to happen sorry! i cant wait to write the next chapter 😭

if you want to be on the list of blogs i notify when this is updated, just message me :)

requests! : i didnt add the “never have i ever” suggestions that i used but THANK YOU if you sent some, i used a few! also, i had other requests and ideas from people and i may use them a bit later, in a future chapter. actually i know when ill use them lol youll see :)

Chapter 12 : Her chapter

OLIVIA

"Shit, I don't know what to wear!" I exclaimed to myself as i put clothes in front of me, standing next to to mirror. "Horrible."

I threw the shirt away, aiming for the bed but it fell next to it and I didn't even send it a glance as I took an other one.placing it on my chest and tilting my head at my reflection. I glanced up when I saw Louis walk by and stop immediately, holding himself on the door frame with a smirk.

"Put a skirt on." he let out, making me raise my eyebrows. "It'll be easier for him to fuck you against the wall."

My eyes got smaller and I reached out for my tissue box before throwing it his way. He moved right on time and it hit the wall in a thug, making him laugh.

"Don't be so violent!" he smirked, walking in my room and leaning on the wall. "I'm just saying out loud what you think about late at night, if you know what I mean."

I turned to him, opening my eyes wide and shaking my head. I couldn't believe Louis was talking about me masturbating to the thought of my ex boyfriend like it was nothing.

"Oh my god, shut up!" I let out with a chuckle. "You're so annoying!"

"Look, I woke up and he was getting out of your room." Louis pointed out. "He spent the night with you. In your bed. Wearing nothing but BOXERS!"

"We just slept." I argued with a shrug, trying not to show him that the thought of Niall almost naked in bed with me was actually doing something to me. "I was sick, remember?"

"Yea, you were 'sick'" he repeated, pronouncing the last word louder and adding fake quotation marks with his fingers.

"I was! A few of your sushis weren't good, Lou." I explained, throwing an other shirt away and grabbing a new pair of jeans. "You know it's true, I heard you vomit in the middle of the night, too."

"That's not the point." he explained, getting suddenly a lot more serious than he normally is. "Olivia, you should break up with Dylan." I stopped dead in my track and even stopped breathing. My heart, though, was beating extremely hard against my rib cage and it's all I could hear. "Did you even think about him recently? He's not here and you don't even seem to miss him, especially not when Niall is around."

I did think about Dylan, though, but I didn't talk about my thoughts, mostly because I felt fucking guilty about almost everything that came to my mind. I felt like shit towards my boyfriend but I didn't have the guts to tell him that I was getting closer and closer to Niall. I didn't know how to tell him that spending time with Niall had been some sort of relief in my life, that being able to be around Niall again was making me generally happier, that when I was near him, I felt more alive. There was no good way to tell that to the man you were about to marry, not without hurting him.

"I love Dylan and I miss him, you know that damn well, Louis." I argued, feeling tears coming to my eyes. "But Niall is... Niall is Niall. Niall is the love of my life."

Louis uncrossed his arms and walked closer as I closed my eyes. I didn't want to look at him. I didn't want to face reality at all. I wanted to spend time with Niall and pretend I would be able to resist him the next time he'd try to kiss me. I wanted to pretend that I was going totally okay with watching Niall and Heidi get married and have kids at some point in the future while i'd do the same with Dylan. I wanted to believe I didn't have to break an incredible man’s heart because of my own disgusting selfishness... that everything was fine and that what was happening between Niall and I was perfectly normal.

"I know he is." Louis said gently, placing his hands on my upper arms from behind. "I see you two interact and it's so obvious, Olivia. The way you two connect it's... it's probably terrifying for Dylan and Heidi, you know?"

I opened my eyes and sniffed before swallowing the lump in my throat. I was not going to cry. There was no fucking way I was going to cry now and ruin my make up. We didn't connect, and we wouldn't connect on that night, I was going to make sure of it.

"Don't worry, I'll be okay. I'll prove to you and everyone else that Niall and I are only friends, you'll see."

I was mostly trying to convince myself of that but I just reached out to my wardrobe and grabbed a skirt, like Louis had proposed. I was going to have fun tonight and nothing else.

"Liv, don't be like that."

I turned to Louis and shook my head slightly.

"I'm not losing Dylan, okay? I can't. Do you know what are the chances for me to find an other man like him? Kind, sweet, smart, funny and who truly loves me? I've risked my relationship enough, don't you think?"

"So last night, when Niall joined you in your bed, you didn't feel anything?" he asked a bit harshly, raising his eyebrows at me. "I saw him take care of you when you were puking your guts out, you know?"

"You don't base a romantic relationship on lust, Louis. You should know that." I shook my head, searching my drawers for a shirt. "Niall always took care of me, since we were kids. It's nothing new. And it means nothing."

Louis stayed there, motionless and quiet as I picked my clothes and when he realized I wouldn't look at him again, he sighed.

"We're leaving in 10 minutes." he turned around and walked to the door as I swallowed my tears again. "And Liv? I love you. I want what's best for you. My opinion is just that, an opinion but... I don't think you'll ever be happy if you're not with Niall. I don't think he'll ever be happy without you either."

---

The bar was crowded but we reached a quiet spot on the second floor, in the back of the room. Everyone was arrived and I couldn't stop glancing at Niall, who ended up sitting next to me. Now that he was close, all the bullshit I had told Louis earlier didn't seem so important anymore. Nothing ever seemed more important than Niall, and it was a problem.

Louis came back with a pitcher and sat on the other side of me with Eleanor while Harry, Liam and Julie sat on the other side of the table. I didn't know where Harry's girlfriend was, or if he even was with her anymore. We had told each other we would remain friends but things change and we drifted apart. I sighed low, a bit nostalgic of that friendship before we all started drinking. I was getting drunk and from the way Niall's eyes sparkled, I felt like he was getting there, too. Or maybe it was just that I was so drunk I was starting to imagine things.

I could feel the skin of his arm brush against mine and I cleared my throat, trying to stop thinking about it before turning around to send him a smile.

"So where's your girlfriend?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.

"Oh she'll be here soon."

I didn't expect this answer and raised my eyebrows as my lips parted. I didn't want to see her, and it was not only because we didn't get along. Most of all, I didn't want to see her all over Niall the way she had been when they invited us for dinner. Why was I so ready to prove everyone that I was able to resist my ex boyfriend but as soon as he was near, I couldn't handle myself?

"Okay, let's play a game!" Liam said, tapping the table a few times with his palm. "Truth or Dare?"

"No no, 'never have I ever'!" Louis argued, making me raise my nose up in a grimace.

These games never ended well, at least most of the time, except that one time where I decided to just kiss Harry, but a few minutes later, Niall had kissed a girl too and that was not a good ending, at least not to me.

"Okay, I found questions online!" Eleanor let out with a chuckle. "If you've done it, you take a sip, and no one lies!"

"Yea, I'll call you out if I see one of you lie!" Louis agreed, making my heart skip a beat.

I was screwed.

"Never have I ever... drunk-dialed an ex!"

I held my breath and started nibbling on my bottom lip. So many times, I had wanted to call Niall when I was drunk but every time, Louis was there to snatch the phone out of my hands. I glanced when I saw Niall drink and I wondered who he had tried to call. I had never received a phone call or a text message from him after we broke up, so I knew it was not me, and somehow, it made me jealous. He missed an ex so much that he called her... did that mean he never really missed me?

"Never have I ever... stolen someone's food!"

"Louis! You drink!" I let out, my eyebrows raised. "You always eat all my fucking left-overs!"

"What? Nah."

"He does!" Eleanor agreed with me with a chuckle, hitting him gently with her elbow.

He groaned but finally took a long sip of his beer, making me smile more.

"Okay, never have I ever... called a partner the wrong name during sex!"

I chuckled but felt my heart jump in my chest when I noticed Niall taking a long sip of his drink. We all looked at him and started laughing and he simply shrugged.

"I was drunk, I didn't know the girl's name!" he argued, laughing too.

I let my eyes roam on his face, wondering who exactly was that girl and if she had been someone he had sex with after he left me but I didn't dare to ask.

"Never have I ever.... lied to a law enforcement officer."

I laughed when I saw Louis drink and Liam started laughing, his eyebrows raised.

"Wait what? What was the lie?" he asked curiously, leaning slightly against the table.

"He lied to get out of a ticket." I replied, rolling my eyes.

"Why? Because he was going too slow?"

Everyone started laughing and Louis grimaced before flipping Liam off, making everyone laugh even more. I leaned closer to Louis and kissed his cheek gently before he wiped my kiss vigorously from his skin.

"Traitor!" he whispered as I chuckled, blowing him an other kiss.

"Never have I ever... sent nudes."

Without thinking, my eyes found Harry immediately and his did too. We stared at each other for a few seconds before our lips curled. I grabbed my drink and took a sip as he did the same, just like Julie, Liam and Louis.

"Did you send nudes to your boyfriend or your ex boyfriend, Olivia?"

I sent a mean glance at Louis and he smirked, making me know he was getting back at me for the last question.

"One time, Harry, Niall and I played 'truth or dare' and Harry asked me if I had ever taken nudes. I guess we continued that conversation a bit later and.. shared.. selfies..."

Louis' eyes got bigger and he pressed his lips together, knowing he had made things a bit awkward but finding it funny anyway. I glanced at Niall, noticing he was staring at me, and finally cleared my throat, asking El for the next question.

"Never have I ever.... hooked up with someone of the same sex or gender."

My eyes once again found Harry. I knew we were pretty much the only one who didn't want to label ourselves around the table and I brought my drink closer to him. He smiled and clinked his glass against mine before we both took a sip.

"You guys have no idea what you're missing." he let out after swallowing, making us laugh.

"Oh my god, Liv, you're gonna love this one. Never have I ever had food poisoning."

I laughed and took a sip, pushing the side of my body against Louis'. He groaned and took a sip and when I turned around, I noticed Niall frowned. I moved closer, holding my breath to make sure I wouldn't smell his incredible scent, and smiled a bit.

"Last night, Louis got sick because of his sushis, too."

I saw an emotion pass on Niall's face and his lips finally curled before he chuckled. Was that relief? I nibbled on my bottom lip when I remembered what he had asked me in the middle of the night and the right corner of my lips raised. I didn't know why he didn't want me to be pregnant with Dylan's baby but I liked it.

"Never have I ever been the subject of a rumor that wasn’t true." Eleanor read with a big smile. "Oh god, I think we can all drink!"

We all laughed and ended up finishing our glasses, handing each other the pitchers to fill them back again. I almost choked on the sip I was taking when Heidi arrived and she quickly sat next to Niall, making something stir in my stomach. I closed my eyes tight when she kissed him and I felt Louis' hand on my arm.

"It's okay to be hurt, love." he whispered. "If it matters, she's got nothing on you. She's also doing that to get to you."

I breathed in and out slowly before opening my eyes again. I noticed Heidi looking at me and sending me a sly smile that really bothered me.

"I'll get shots!"

Harry left with Liam and the whole time they were gone, I played with my fingers nervously. I felt like the whole evening was ruined because of her but I couldn't let that get to me, right? As soon as the guys put the shots in the middle of the table, I grabbed one and swallowed it quickly, followed by Louis.

"Wait, guys! This is for the game!" Harry explained. "And it's a surprise, you don't know what you drink!"

That's when I noticed the huge amount of shots on the table and raised my eyebrows just as Eleanor read the next question.

"Never have I ever... caught someone masturbating."

I held my breath and my eyes got bigger. I didn't want to turn to Niall but it was stronger than me. He was already looking at me and he chuckled.

"One time, when I was 13, Liv caught me masturbating. She just walked in my room without knocking!"

I smiled and pressed my lips together but my smile faltered when I realized he had no idea that I had caught him masturbating last time I actually slept at his place. The sight of him jerking off flashed in my mind and I gripped my glass tighter until I heard his voice again.

"Oh and remember at the lodge?" he asked with a smirk. "I came back in the room the first day we got there and-”

"Nooo! Shut up!"

I moved closer to him, trying to press my hand over his mouth but he dodged me and ended up just holding my wrist as he finished his sentence.

"And I caught Olivia masturbating in the dark, in our room!"

"Oh my god I hate you." I groaned, leaning my forehead on the table as I heard laughter. "That was a secret!"

"Was it though?" Niall asked, his lips dangerously close to my ear.

I held my breath and waited a few seconds to look up, noticing Louis had given a shot to Niall and was now handing me one. I drank it quickly, turning the glass around and putting it on the table. Tequila, ouch.

"Never have I ever... tried anal sex."

Once again, I closed my eyes and groaned, bringing one of my hands on my face as Niall laughed next to me. I was really going to get drunk. I reached for two shots and handed one to Niall who just chuckled and drank it fast. I did it took and raised my nose up. Sambuca. I hated that.

"Wow, who the hell are you?" Louis asked, raising his eyebrows while looking at me. "Little wild thing. Can't believe you let him!"

It was not my first time trying anal but I decided not to mention it. The truth was, when I was dating Niall, I would have done anything for him. There was no limit, as long as he stayed with me and was happy, it was all that mattered to me. I suddenly felt the urge to kiss him and held my breath as I stared at him. My heart was hitting so hard against my rib cage I thought it was just going to escape. Literally. It was ridiculous. I was not ready to do anything for anyone anymore, except myself. That's how things should be.

"Never have I ever... hooked up with an ex’s friend."

Once again, I knew I had to drink. Not everyone in the room knew that I had slept with Louis and I thought maybe it would be better if I didn't drink at all but the worst would be if I hesitated. If I just drank, they could believe it was an other ex than Niall but if I didn't seem sure, they'd know I was not at ease and it would be suspicious. I rolled my eyes, realizing I was going a bit too far in my thoughts and just grabbed an other shot, swallowing it quickly. I felt Louis' hand squeeze my thigh and my lips curled slightly. He knew and it was enough for me.

"Never have I ever... tried to make an ex jealous."

I sighed and took an other shot, shaking my head.

"We need to find questions that won't force me to get so drunk I won't be able to walk in half an hour!" I argued with a chuckle, watching as Niall grabbed a shot too.

I was starting to hate this game, if only for the fact that all I did was drink and check if Niall would drink too and if he did, I'd just spend a few minutes wondering who it was about and what exactly it meant. I glanced at Heidi, thinking she should probably drink but didn't and I rolled my eyes.

I never really had tried to make Niall jealous but I had hoped for it. I was not getting married to make him regret leaving me, but when I noticed his reaction when he found out and stormed out of the cafe, I couldn't pretend it didn't do anything to me. It did. I liked it. It gave me hope. Hope for what? I was not sure.

"Never have I ever... second-guessed a relationship."

I was getting pissed at myself for letting all his simple gestures and actions get to me. I loved him, I loved him so fucking bad it was driving me insane, but there was no way I was going back to being the 'no-back-bone-and-fucking-blind' girl I used to be when we were dating. I didn't want that. I reached for a shot and placed it in front of Niall a bit roughly, spilling a few drops of what I believed was rum, or at least, it smelled like it.

"Do you need only one?"

Somehow, everyone stopped talking and although I should feel guilty, I really couldn't. I was past the tipsy stage and a few memories were coming back to my mind. I also didn't enjoy Heidi's presence and the way she was so close to him. Niall looked down and licked his lips, waiting a few seconds before drinking the shot and pushing the glass away. Eleanor cleared her throat and I just shook my head with a sigh.

"Uhm, never have I ever cheated on a partner."

I closed my eyes again but this time for a complete different reason. I thought about the first time Niall touched me. I could almost still feel his fingertips brush on my skin before he had pushed them inside me. I can't remember being this excited ever in my whole life. This time, I didn't have to say anything. Niall just reached out to grab a shot and swallowed it.

"Not on Liv, right?"

Niall turned to Louis and shook his head.

"No. With her." My eyes moved to Heidi's hand who gripped Niall's arm tighter sinking her nails in his skin. I couldn't help but think she did that when they fucked, too. "It was back when I was with Maya."

I noticed Harry was looking at me with a frown and I just shook my head slightly, answering his silent question. He nodded and his lips curled a bit as I answered his smile. No, I had no cheated on Harry. I wouldn't have done that, not even for Niall... right?

"It was... unplanned." Niall added, making me press my lips together.

The memory was so vivid, probably due to the alcohol and mixed with the proximity of Niall's body, that I had to get up and go to the bathroom. As I got up, I realized how drunk I was and tried to walk straight. I didn't like to show I was drunk and I was not sure why but when I got out of the bathroom, Louis was leaning against the wall, waiting for me.

"El and I are leaving, we've got a brunch in her family tomorrow morning, so I'll sleep at her place." he explained with a frown. "Are you okay? We can give you a ride home if you want."

"No, thank you." I shook my head. "I'll just take a cab."

"No, no cab by yourself. One of those fuckers will bring you home when you'll be ready. I'll make sure of it. And if anything happens, you call me."

I nodded and he pulled me into a hug, making me close my eyes. I wanted to tell him that I missed him, and that I missed having sex with him, but it was a lie. What I actually missed was to be close to someone, and I sort of felt like I was losing him, somehow. Soon, we were not going to live together anymore and I had no idea if I was okay with that.

"Sorry for that game, although it went better than you thought, right?"

I chuckled and pulled away before nodding. He sent me a wink and told me goodnight and I watched him leave before sighing and walking back to the table with difficulty. Liam and Julie were getting up too and I frowned, tilting my head when I got closer.

"Are you guys leaving too?"

"Yea, we're both a bit tired." Julie explained.

They said their goodbyes to everyone and I ended up sitting next to Harry and in front of Niall. I watched as Heidi talked in his ear with a smirk and I glanced down to watch her arm disappear, realizing she probably had her hand on his thigh, or even somewhere else. I looked away and swallowed at the intense feeling of jealousy invading me.

"Oh, Olivia, I know you'll be alone tonight, would you rather sleep home?"

I frowned at Heidi, a bit surprised about her proposition and licked my lips, trying to find a reason why she would actually want me to be with both of them at his place. To show me he belonged to her, perhaps? To keep on being all over him in front of me?

"No it's okay, she can come home." Harry just said, getting up and grabbing his phone. "I'm alone tonight, too."

"It's cool, Harry. She'll sleep at mine." Niall quickly replied, getting up to. "Plus, it's closer."

They looked at each other and Harry finally sighed before bending down and whispering to me.

"Are you okay with that?" I just nodded and he did the same. "Okay, darling."

Heidi drove us back home since she had barely drank and I noticed Niall kept glancing at me in the mirror but I didn't acknowledge him. I knew he was a bit mad at me for some of the things I had said and if I wanted to be honest, I really thought I was over all of that, but the thought of him breaking my heart and not being sure of the relationship we had made something burn inside me... I was not mad. I was still hurt. I probably always would be.

Niall let me borrow a pair of his sweatpants and a shirt and none of us really talked at all. We just went to bed and before I knew it, I was laying on my back, under the covers, in the dark, just staring at the ceiling. Normally, I would have a conversation with Niall until we'd both fall asleep but that night, it was impossible. He was going to cuddle her all night, and not me. The thought made me swallow hard and I tried to keep my tears in. I was intoxicated and just closing my eyes made me dizzy.

That's when I heard it. It made my heart jump so hard in my chest I was near throwing up. A moan. Just a low moan disturbing the silence of the night and then, an other one. I got up slowly, my heart beating harder, making my whole body throb and when I opened the door, I held my breath. I stepped out of the room and It was clear, now. A bunch of moans reached my ears and I leaned my back against the wall, shutting my eyes tight.

"Oh, fuck, Niall!"

I felt tears invade my eyes and I let myself slide on the wall until my ass hit the floor. I heard noise, like the annoying sounds of a mattress moving, and I brought my hand to my mouth, trying to keep in the sobs that wanted to escape. This is exactly why Heidi wanted me to sleep at their place but the one I really blamed was Niall. How could he do that to me? Wasn't breaking my heart once enough? What the hell was he thinking?

I was sitting down alone in the hall, now as sober as possible in these circumstances, listening to my ex boyfriend, the man I was in love with, having sex with his girlfriend. It was so pathetic I didn't even take the time to wipe the tears that fell on my cheeks, I just accepted my fate, motionless, like it was something I actually deserved. I tried to think about my boyfriend, filming a movie in an other country, but it couldn't distract me from the noises coming from his room. All these images of Heidi riding him as he touched her and told her how much he loved her invaded my brain and I felt suddenly nauseous. It made me realize one thing. It was not so much that they had sex, that really bothered me, although it did hurt me to some extent. What was really hard to accept was that he may have feelings for her, stronger feelings than he had for me. I also couldn't really believe he cared so little about me that he'd literally do it while I was in the same house, in the room literally next to mine.

I cried more, feeling like this moment would never fucking end. It's only when I heard his voice for the first time that something inside me seemed to click. He had groaned and I hated it. It was a low and simple grunt but it made me want to literally die on the spot. I don't know where I found the strength but I quickly got up, walked back to the guest room and grabbed my purse before rushing to the front door and stepping out of the house into the dark night. The door closed roughly behind me and I realized they may have heard. I quickly left and ran across the street, my shoes hitting the ground being the only sound around. It was only when I was totally out of breath that I decided to call a cab. I just wanted to erase that whole evening from my mind. I just wanted to erase all my feelings and be happy again but I couldn't lie to myself. The only time I was truly happy was when I was with Niall... and that was over. There was no hope left inside me.

#niall horan #niall horan smut #niall horan fluff #niall horan fanfic #niall horan fan fic #niall horan fanfiction #niall horan fan fiction #niall horan story #niall horan writing #my fanfics #yam #i just want to write the next chapter tbqh #i just cant wait to write it!!!

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kinetic-elaboration · 3 years

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October 11: 100 Days of Writing Postscript

I kept telling myself I was going to do one last 100 Days of Writing post and then I’d always forget and now it’s kinda late... So this is my compromise: a 100 Days of Writing Postscript, as part of my write-every-day project.

So... 2021 wasn’t quite what I intended in terms of writing. I wanted to get into my old WIPs more and finish/post more stuff. But it’s okay. I wrote several fics that I didn’t expect to write and that I like a lot.

I realize this sounds like a post from December 31 lol. I’m reflecting on the year as a whole because I’m setting what I hope are reasonable goals for the next couple of months.

First, I want to finish devil’s gonna get me one of these days, my Southern Gothic AU. I doubt I’ll finish it for Halloween, but I’ll have at least a chapter or two by then, and I’d like to finish it up in November. This is actually an idea from last year that I feel excited about and want to see come to fruition. I’m also really focused on it right now, so I feel optimistic about it in general.

Second, I want to hopefully write some other spooky season things. I’m not sure what form this will take, and if it doesn’t happen, that’s fine. I’m throwing around some ideas for a ficlet series, and of course Troped: Horror is going on.

Third, I want to finish the Sleeping Beauty AU, at least in draft form. I successfully finished chapter 5, then got distracted, and at this point it’s firmly on the back burner. It can stay there until spooky season is over. But since it was such a big 2021 project, and since I’m not planning on doing much in the way of Holiday events (probably Troped, but I don’t think I’ll do anything else), it would feel satisfying, I think, to finish it up in December. This feels perfectly reasonable now, but will probably feel impossible later when I have to acknowledge just how complex, long, and generally, tbqh, unfun this chapter is. But I don’t want to give up on it after doing so much work and I don’t want to drag it into 2022 either.

And that’s it! That’s what I want out of the end of the year. I’m still fighting with block, with re-creating good writing habits, and with balancing ambition against time and energy constraints. But I think this is a fairly reasonable goal list and I’d love to be able to stick to it.

The best thing about 100 Days of Writing was reading other people’s posts about the projects they were working on, brainstorming, excited about, struggling with, etc. It really made me feel less like I was flailing around in the dark. Sending lots of inspiration and creative vibes to @she-who-the-river-could-not-hold, @hopskipaway, @thelittlefanpire, @fontainebleau22, and other participants @the-wip-project

#the year 2021 #2021: writing projects #100daysofwriting #100 days of writing #my 100 days of writing #this is so embarrassingly late that i wasn't gonna tag anyone #but i like being tagged in stuff so #you can always just ignore

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writefightandflightclub · 4 years

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Me appreciating you for Fanfic Writers’ Appreciation Day, but a day late, because I do everything late. Anyway... yay!

1. PLEASE LOOK DOWN THIS LIST (BELOW THE CUT) UNTIL YOU SPOT AN AUTHOR YOU’RE NOT FAMILIAR WITH

2. GO AND CHECK OUT THEIR STUFF

3. SCREAM AT THEM ABOUT HOW GREAT THEY ARE

4. SIGNAL BOOST THE HELL OUT OF THEIR STUFF

5. REPEAT STEPS ABOVE

Firstly, before we proceed to the list: I will have forgotten people, and for that I am so sorry (not in any way intentional)- I will come back and update if I spot someone I’ve missed. Secondly, for fic authors who weren’t tagged on Fic Writers’ Day, please keep doing what you’re doing! Putting your writing out there takes courage and I’m super proud of you. I’m so pleased we have your unique voice in the fandom, and I appreciate you.

Secondly, if you know an author who perhaps didn’t get as much love as they deserve (and don’t be afraid to self-hype) please send me an ask with a) their/your handle b) which fandom they/you write for (to be relevant to my page pls keep this to SW, Oscar, Pedro, MCU) c) why people should check them/you out and, if you like, which fic to start with, and I’ll do a shout-out.

Finally, if you aren’t a writer yet but you want to be, I believe in you! Please take the plunge! My inbox is always open to any aspiring writers who need encouragement to make that first post or start that first fic. I’ve been in your position, and believe me I’m in your corner. Happy to be your hype girl.

Reccing authors in Star Wars / Oscar / Pedro fandoms:

@okay-hotshot / Celeste is the loveliest human ever. She had me hooked from her first fic, which broke then healed my heart, and I’m so proud of her writing journey so far! Check her page out for Oscar character fics and the most magical, creative, immersive, touching, original Llewyn fic you could dream up: Wait for me.

@mandoplease where do I even start? Becca oozes talent and absolutely floors me every single time. The first fic I read was: The City Lights Can Wait (Santi x reader) and I was just blown away by the writing prowess. Gorgeous prose, mind blowing metaphors and descriptions. A personal fave is the Santi/Frankie threesome fic: Moving Day, but Fight Night also needs a mention. Check her out for Triple Frontier / Narcos / Star Wars characters.

@mylifeliterally Ok, Emma is an absolute gem of a human. Funny, welcoming and so supportive of other writers. Oh, and can be counted on for thots. I often rec the positively artful Triple Frontier gangbang fic (and now series) Team Building Exercise, but don’t overlook her other fics- I especially love: Just for Tonight, a two-part Santi fic. The Triple Frontier Queen, she is slowly dragging everyone into a pit of yearning along with her for every single one of those boys and we’re not even mad. Her writing is flawless and I cannot get enough. P.s. she has a refridgerator husband.

@tintinwrites I’ve already gushed at Caitlin today so I’ll keep it brief. Queen of Poe, and also branching out and excelling with everything she touches in Pedro fandoms too. I think I’ve read near everything on her masterlist and there are no wrong choices, but to pick out only a couple, which is a hard task, imma rec Forbidden Fruit and Fifty Ways to Kiss someone for Po, and Nothing Could be Finer for reader x Frankie x Santi.

@woakiees again, gushed at Hadley already so I’ll try and keep it chill here. Queen of angst and darkness, and of First Order Poe. Also love that she’s writing for Santi and Din now too. Caitlin says it best when she describes Hadley’s writing as like something from 1843 with a modern twist. Such a unique voice. Imma recommend Sanctified and So ruthless, Darling for Poe.

@iamthe-shadow-on-the-wall Abby! The range! You know I remind you on a bi-monthly basis how much Lonely Nights (Poe x reader) broke my heart and here we go again. You can do it all- fluffy, slow burn series (Call it what you want), heartbreaking angst and smut- your Blue Jones mob boss AU, Darkest Little Paradise? Wowzers. Plus, you’re a sweetie and I love when we scream at each other.

@darksideofclarke Clarke does so much for us all and just keeps giving. From the Sinful Sunday events to the incredible Follower Celebration, to setting up a whole side blog to extend the character takeovers?! Blessed with content! And Clarke’s fics?! Exquisite, and such a choice of characters from the Oscar fandom. I particularly love Now and Forevermore (Orestes); Bulletproof (Santi); Humbled (Blue); and ‘Til Death Do They Part (Mikael) but I could easily go on. Clarke you’re so talented. And you are a lovely human to boot!

@bluebellhairpin Nemo, you are a joy, and I won’t gush at you too much bc I already did that today, but I love what you’re putting out. You write for so many fandoms, which is so impressive, and you’re a fellow Poe hoe. I adore your series Fight or Flight, Rider, but you have so many cute one-shots and blurbs too e.g. Poe Dameron is an Idiot! Your audios give me life as well.

@spider-starry Carrie is so much fun and has been branching out a lot in her writing recently, which is great to see! I love Carrie’s 100 letter project in particular, for various Oscar characters, as well as this smutty Nathan NSFW Alphabet, which had me all in a tizz.

@aellynera (tag me in your stuff pls?) I love your drunk text series for Santi and Nathan and your Itsy Bitsy Spider headcanons made me howl! I’m so excited to see what you put out next! And I love that you also love Nathan :D

@anetteaneta already gushed at you today so I’ll keep it brief, but I’m so happy you’re sharing your writing! I loved your Sherlock series for Santi so much! And OMG wait, I didn’t see you’d written for Nathan until just now. Must catch-up. (Please tag me in any Oscar stuff you put out?)

@veuliee2 I need to catch-up on a lot of your fics to be fair (please tag me in stuff?) but you write Orestes so wonderfully and with so much heart that it blows me away (New Constellations). So few fics on him on this site and yours are a pleasure. Plus, you’re an all round lovely person! :o)

@thirsty-flygirl I don’t think you believe how good you are which makes me very sad to be honest. Because you’re amazing. You write Poe so spot on, so warm and goofy and a lovable sexy dumbass. Perfect. Your writing and dialogue makes me smile / laugh and you can somehow make it hot and soft all at once. I love your series Idiots in particular. (Please tag me in more of your stuff though as I worry I miss things you put out?). You’re great and I love having you here.

@twomoonstwosuns I really need to catch-up on your Poe series, Back to You but I really enjoyed the chapters I’ve read! (Please tag me in future Poe stuff?) You’re a star!

@absurdthirst I’m newish in the Pedro fandoms so still getting to grips with it, but have loved what I’ve seen so far and look forward to delving deeper (and there’s plenty to get stuck into!)!Most recently read the Ezra fic Healing which was beautifully and sensitively written (cw: for prior assault).

@damerondjarin Taylor is multi-talented and blesses us, tbh, with GIFs and writing. She’s currently in tumblr jail, but I strongly advise you check out all her stuff. I came for Santi fics and they did not disappoint (I can’t link to it but the latest Santi fic killed me and was a wonderul take on the “there’s only one bed” trope.

@damndamer0n you have a gift, Ty. I’m in awe and I don’t know how you do what you do. Your way with words is really something special. I bow. Gonna recommend Just Friends for Poe because this is such a warm and immersive (and hot) fic and so in character. But honestly all your stuff is perfect. I’ve read things for characters I’ve never heard of before because of you and have loved each and every one. (Like, really, what are your secrets, tell us?). Also gonna shout-out to your Ezra fic, Sunlight, beacuse the world-building and mood-building was lovely. Really memorable!

@mssr-cellophane I found your work recently through FinnPoe week and your glorious take on the The Jacket prompt (links to A03). Looking forward to reading more of your stuff (please feel free to tag me!) and surprised by how much I vibe with all your posts haha. Happy to follow you! :)

@yougottakeeponkeepinon AMANDA? Where do I begin and how do I stop? You’re such an important part of this site for me. I think you’re wonderful as a person and I love your writing too. Miscommunication (First Order! Poe) is off the scale brilliant, and then you blew me away with your latest Santi fic, Eavesdropping, but honestly, I’ve never read anything of yours I didn’t love, from goofy Poe to soft soft Llewyn (I love Away from the Sun). I WANNA YELL AT YOU YOU’RE JUST THE BEST.

@poesflygirl Nat is a ball of energy and that comes across in her writing. Nat, you write with such verve and energy and defo have a unique voice. You write the angstiest angst and fluffiest fluff and you also write action and dialogue so well. Your fics have a ton of unexpected turns and are unpredictable, and you have loads of unique ideas which are really fresh and different to read. You don’t seem to believe how good you are, which makes me sad tbqh. I love when I see a tag pop up and get to read something new from you! In particular love your Poe series, You and Paging a Heart, and these Poe one-shots: Just another Benduday Night and Truth or Dare.

@starryeyedstories NOVA. You are pure sunshine. You spread so much positivity and you’re the loveliest human. Your are the Queen of softness and fluff and for comforting and beautifully written fics. Your series, Across the Hall,has taken us all on such a wonderful journey and I don’t want it to ever end. It’s like my happy place! Each chapter is practically a hug with words. Your Din one-shot All of Me is so romantic as well!

@softpedropascal I’m newish in Pedro fandoms but softpedropascal writes wonderfully for Frankie. The dedication to the character is evident, and characterisation wonderful- I can’t wait to read more: Masterlist

@rzrcrst okay, you may know rzrcrst for Pedro fics (which are wonderful) but she also recently started writing for Tony Stark and I’m so happy! 😀🧡 (Fun fact- her url is also the reason I couldn’t spell Razor Crest properly when I finally started writing for Din). She’s currently taking a well-earned tumblr break but fics are still up on Ao3- linked in profile.

@writefasttalkevenfaster Please tag me in any of your Star Wars stuff as I swear I keep missing things and I don’t mean to! Masterlist

@galaxy-of-stories Maddie, I keep missing things you post but you’re lovely and your writing is awesome. I love your Poe series Over and Over and I think I’ve just spotted a new chapter to catch-up on so lucky me! :D

@who-talks-first Billie, my lovely friend! You’re wonderful to have around on this hellsite. Your dedication to supporting writers in these fandoms is unparelled and you’re an absolute sweatheart, as well as super fun to chat to and thirst with. You have certainly made my experience on this site so much better! And also, your writing? Excuse me? So good. Your Poe fic, The Torture of Small Talk With Someone You Used to Love? Sublime! And the Poe, Naked, Dripping, Locked? So funny! You definitely have a unique style and your writing can be simultaneously edgy, poetic, and moving. ILY!

@xxidontwikeitxx Hope you don’t mind being included, as you haven’t posted your work, but you ARE a writer, and I’m so happy you’ve recently started creating! Again, hope you don’t mind me saying, but I had the pleasure of reading your Marcus Pike blurb, and it’s was so soft and lovely. I really hope - when/if you’re comfortable- you decide share your work, and if not, I hope you keep enjoying the process! Would leave to read more from you in the future!

@shakespeareanwannabe is writing such a heartfelt Santi x OC story (find it here) with sublime characterisation of both Santi and Frankie, AS WELL AS seriously well-rounded and compelling OCs / supporting cast. This series is a key contributor for me falling down a Frankie rabbit role, and my First Dates fic likely wouldn’t exist without it! So excited for more!

Also shoutout to @ollypopp @milleniumvalcon @justrunamok @yourbucky084 who are delightful beings and whose writing I need to catch-up on!I look forward to it!

#this took me shockingly long to compile i need a nap #the talent on this hellsite #writer appreciation #star wars fics #oscar isaac fics #pedro pascal fics #poe dameron x reader #santiago pope garcia x reader #llewyn davis x reader #din djarin reader #fic rec #fic recs #frankie morales x reader #nathan bateman x reader #the loveliest humans

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aces-to-apples · 3 years

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Tagged by @sl-walker!

How many works do you have on AO3? 92?? Christ how did that happen???

What's your total AO3 word count? 207,007, apparently. Buckwild.

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they? Sticking with AO3 (and specifically this AO3 account) and discounting fusions/AUs: Star Wars, Red vs. Blue, The Magnificent Seven, The Umbrella Academy, Dragon Age: Inquisition, Kingdoms of Amalur: Reckoning, Stargate SG-1, Game of Thrones, and Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, iirc.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos? The Fallacy of Freedom: 2035 Pretension Is Key: 1614 poor reception: 566 Renegade: 473 two can keep a secret: 436

Do you respond to comments, why or why not? Not usually tbqh. When I first started writing I tried to be the sort of person who replies to each comment but honestly it’s pretty exhausting spoon-wise and I rarely have anything to say to most comments that don’t have, like, specific questions/comment to respond to. Plus it artifically inflates the comment count and honestly I get few enough comments that that’s just depressing to me.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? Ah. Hm. I don’t view myself as much of an angst writer, and honestly angst doesn’t interest me much, but like maybe? philter of the phantom? since it’s got kind of an ambiguous ending?

Do you write crossovers? If so what’s the craziest one you’ve written? I tend to do AUs more than crossovers because crossovers tend to involve, like, actual plot and shit? So I think the only crossover I’ve actually written is Starvb/Haat Verd?

Have you ever received hate on a fic? Not....really? I mean mostly I just get Fucking Stupid comments, or That One Asshole Who Pretty Much Always Leaves Bitchy Tags On Bookmarks. I think there was that one twit fairly recently who bitched that the second chapter of poor reception “should have a noncon tag since cody isn’t in the right mind to consent” as if it didn’t already have a fairly explanatory “Dubiously Consensual Blow Jobs” and “Identity Issues” tags.

Do you write smut? If so what kind? Yes! When it doesn’t drive me fucking crazy! *looks over my pornographic portfolio* It looks like I tend to favor consent issues, mild to moderate kink, possessiveness, and wonky power dynamics. And if it’s tagged “Dead Dove: Do Not Eat” I’m probably extremely fond of it lol.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not to my knowledge? I think that tends to happen to more plotty writers tbh.

Have you ever had a fic translated? Breaking my “only on this AO3 account” rule because yes! One of my older, on-a-different-account fics, was translated a few years ago! I think it’s in Mandarin...?

What’s your all time favorite ship? Ah. Ahaha. Not really something I can definitively answer, sorry, I’m a multishipper at heart and also have debilitating ADHD.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? Ooh, yikes, again with the debilitating ADHD. Um. Probably that Gravebone fic, the Fright Night fusion with vampire!Graves? Idk maybe one day I’ll get bitten by the Fantastic Beasts bug again but idk I kinda doubt it.

What are your writing strengths? *blinks* Um. Funny rarepairs, maybe?

What are your writing weaknesses? *blinks harder* I definitely can’t do plot to save my life, I know that. And also I assume “the writing part” isn’t an acceptable answer.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? I think it’s fun! But also my first real fandom was RvB so like! I have an extremely lax viewpoint on making sure that the other language is actually accurate! Like I actually tend to try with Mando’a but that’s literally because it’s like a fun little puzzle, trying to make something make some kind of sense in a fake language! Actual languages I tend to just Google Translate because, again, Red vs. Blue was a formative fandom.

What was the first fandom you wrote for? ...........Yu-Gi-Oh, next question.

What’s your favorite fic that you’ve written? Uhhhhhh, that’s a really hard question? “bells sometimes ring for weddings” and “darkness hides and always lies” and “trouble in mind” are things that I wrote purely out of spite that I ended up really really liking, and “peace is a lie” has indirectly made me a shocking number of friends, and “got me all beguiled” was the first thing I wrote for a fandom exchange, and “she wore it wonderfully well” came out pretty decently even if only about three people have read it, and “The Sun, The Moon, And All The Stars” is The Worst AU In The World (affectionate), and “where there’s poison, there’s a remedy” chews on my brain nonstop. So like. It really depends on how you’re measuring that.

Tagging: whoever wants to play because I’m shit at tagging rn

#tag meme #i was tagged #by apples #sl-walker

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faejilly · 4 years

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tag game

Fic Writer Edition (tagged by @silver-latin-and-salt, tagging, idk, whoever is writing atm? @twistedsinews @leahazel @junemermaid, anyone who’d like, no one who doesn’t, etc.)

Fandoms: atm, primarily Shadowhunters. But also BioWare: Dragon Age and Mass Effect and maybe someday I’ll post some Jade Empire.

Also the occasional other game or TV show or Yuletide inspired one-shot. It’s a wide and ridiculous range of things, from a Georgette Heyer regency epilogue to Code: Realize and #7kpp to Firefly & even some Sleepy Hollow ficlets from back in s1 before we realized how terrible TPTB were going to be.

Number of fics: I have 158 works published on AO3.

This includes a couple of fanmixes that are linked on there to companion fics/series, two collaborative fics which are not just mine, even less so than most writing that is, and four WIPs: two of which I am still working on, one of which will absolutely 100% NEVER ever get more, and then that last one will probably not get more but who knows, maybe in ten years we’ll do a reunion and try again (it’s one of the collabs).

AS WELL AS: forty-seven different ficlet collections, sorted by fandom and pairing(s), because otherwise I would honestly have almost 1000 things and never be able to find a single damn one of them when I wanted to (and neither would anyone else). Like, ten of them are just for Shadowhunters because I split up the coda-fic by season and then also I put the porn in its own thing and Clizzy is kind of a post-canon AU so they’re on their own too and spin-offs of a particular fic setting get their own collection so they’re all together and etc. etc. etc.

Fic I spent a lot of time on: Do we count time actually writing? Or just the amount of time it hung out in my head before I finished it? Because I probably spent the most actual physical writing time on Lost For Words, which is a frothy cotton-candy experiment in long-fic for Mass Effect that I posted chapter by chapter as I wrote it and actually finished. (I have never successfully repeated the experience, tho I suppose a couple of my Shadowhunters fics will sort-of qualify in terms of length when they’re done, but they didn’t get posted semi-regularly and in progressive chapters in at all the same way.)

In terms of time between debut and completion, that would probably have to go to Cruel Intentions, which took over five years between initially going up on the Dragon Age Kink Meme and actually getting a conclusion.

i am for you and if broken hearts were whole have both been lingering WIPs for over two years at this point now, though, and a couple other DA2 fics were pretty close to that five year mark as well. 😅

Fic I didn’t spend a lot of time on: ashes of angels because I was coming up on my bingo deadline so I just pounded it out in a day. (It’s actually quite good tho! I think so, anyway! I am very proud of it! Read part one first, if you haven’t yet!)

also Impossible, (DA2, Bethany/Sebastian, confessional!porn) which mostly wrote itself in pretty short order, which was delightful. (Tho I also had a very astute beta for that one; don’t think he’s on tumblr anymore tho, or I’d yell at him in thanks again.) I told y’all I had a priest!kink problem. Not that you hadn’t all noticed on your own, anyways...

Longest fic: Finished? The aforementioned Lost for Words at just over 62k.

In limbo? Persephone Rising is literally three times longer than my next longest fic (and still not done!) but it is also a collab fic with three authors, so I suppose that sort of evens out?

Active WIP? i am for you at 59k. I’m not sure how much more is left of that one, tbqh... it will probably end up a bit longer than LfW, tho maybe not by much.

Shortest fic: I have no fucking clue, 47 ficlet collections, remember? In terms of a thing that I forgot to collect, apparently it is Consequences, which is my Brosca after the Landsmeet in DA:O.

Most hits/Most kudos/Most bookmarks: ALL THREE FOR i am for you! (Wonder how it’ll do when it’s no longer marked as a WIP?)

Total word count: On AO3: 1,137,609 !!!

(Sorry, you can see why I had to make that big tho, right?)

Fic I want to rewrite/expand: Except for the revisions to what is now Maleficar, I much prefer to leave fic as is, once it’s up there, so nothing on the re-write front. It was what it was when I did it, and it’s important to remember that, even when you move on to new stuff, imo.

But! I have potential/hopeful sequels in the WIP folder for and breathing is wishing, out of some dreaming tree, with an if in its soul, and several assorted ficlet collections & prompts I’ve sort of teased over the years.

Favourite fic of mine: At the moment, they have hung the sky with arrows because it’s a thing I’m not sure I ever really thought I was going to write, and then I did and I surprised myself a little, but it was fun and it ties together a lot of my thoughts on the Shadowhunters finale in a way I really enjoyed. (Also it has an actual plot! I don’t do that terribly often, I’m usually very introspective in my fic.)

Sneak peek of a WIP/Share an idea? I started a Shadowhunter!Magnus fic for a bingo square, but then scope creep! so I made a moodboard, but there is maybe a fic on the way... eventually. After my Bangs. 🤞🏻

The first time Magnus Bane met the High Warlock of Manhattan it was during his "travels", the two years after graduating from the Academy when most Nephilim wandered from Institute to Institute, seeing how things were done differently around the world, how they were still so often the same, learning about all the things you couldn't see in a classroom.

He wasn't actually in New York City in order to meet the High Warlock, of course, not as a 17-year-old foot soldier, that was well above his pay grade, as the mundanes put it. But when all the full-fledged Shadowhunters had work to do, he was assigned escort duty when the High Warlock showed up to do his yearly wards inspection.

Magnus met High Warlock Lightwood at the main entrance, and almost swallowed his own tongue at the sight of him, a broad shouldered, long-legged white man dressed in a conservative but very well-tailored suit, with heavy eyebrows, even heavier eyelashes, and a complete and utter lack of anything resembling an expression on his face.

A shiver went down Magnus' spine as he met the High Warlock's gaze, and he refused to think too much about why.

Magnus managed to introduce himself reasonably coherently, he thought, offering a hand to shake, but the High Warlock just raised an eyebrow at him. "I thought I'd talked them out of this nonsense last year."

"Uh." Magnus swallowed. The man was both terrifying and ludicrously attractive, and Magnus resigned himself to being a slightly stuttering idiot for the next four-to-six hours. "Not my call, I'm sorry to say. Sir."

The High Warlock rolled his eyes, and stepped forward. Magnus barely managed to dodge out of his way, and followed along behind him as he stalked towards the Angelic Core, where all the Institute Wards were anchored.

He never once acknowledged Magnus' presence as he worked, never asked for directions, or needed any sort of assistance. Magnus followed him anyway, and couldn't even bring himself to be upset about the waste of his time because damn, that view. He could see the shift of Lightwood's shoulders beneath the line of his coat, the tension in the muscles in his arms as each tiny motion correlated to whatever he was doing with his magic. There was so much power there, constrained and under his complete control.

The High Warlock never took so much as a wasted step in his clearly perfectly planned spiral of a route through the Institute's halls, circling out from the Core, stopping at each node, hitting all four corners of the building, before reaching the main doors again several hours later.

Once there he finally turned and looked at Magnus directly. He dipped his head in some slight acknowledgement, straightened his cuffs, and his face shifted into something that was merely neutral and professional rather than granite. "There were no concerns to note, Mr. Bane. The wards have been refreshed, and the contract terms have been met."

"Thank you," Magnus managed, though he had to cough to get his voice to cooperate.

The High Warlock's face softened, a hint of something that wasn't quite surprise in his eyes, but Magnus wasn't sure what to call it instead. "You're very welcome."

He nodded again, slightly more sincerely, perhaps, though there still wasn't enough of an expression on his face to properly qualify, in Magnus' opinion, and then he turned and left.

Magnus blinked at the doors as they shut behind him, and let out one long slow exhale. His shoulders relaxed, and it was only now that his posture sagged that he realized he'd been extra tense the entire time, as if waiting for an attack that had never come.

#on writing #fic memery #silver-latin-and-salt

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morningsound15 · 4 years

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For the fic writer ask game: 3, 11, 31, 39

3. Are there any fics that inspired you to write what you do?

actually yes! maybe not to write WHAT i write but definitely HOW i write

i don’t think i’ve ever talked about this but my first real fanfic fandom like the first time i got INTO fanfic in a real way was through skins (uk). do y’all remember skins? i was obsessed in early high school. so it’s not the FIRST fic i read (that was probably harry potter, i finished the books & did not want the story to end & through that desire to continue reading those books found fanfic way back on ff.net in like 2009) but the first time i like sat down and read every fic for a certain show/couple, it was skins.

there was one writer on ff.net called HyperFitched - now this was in like 2011 or so that i found these fics, so keep in mind i was young & haven’t re-read them so i’m not sure how they hold up! - but they would put out these unbelievable multi-chapter skins fics, like hundreds of thousands of words each. and i would gobble these stories up! like i couldn’t stop reading them. i remember sneaking my ipod touch into freshman year gym and reading these stories while i pretended to work out, because i just could not put them down. i will link to some of the ones below that i remember devouring in case anyone is interested, but these stories absolutely were what first got me thinking about things like subtext, shipping non-canon couples, the ability of fans to take source material and expand upon it & (in my mind) improve it, the idea of a slow-burn, of miscommunication, of pining, of sex in stories (oh the way i reacted when i realized people wrote these characters having semi-explicit sex!! what a game-changer). so it kind of was the precursor to pretty much everything about how i write fic! i wonder where this author ended up & if i can ever find them & send them a message... would love to do that lmk if anyone knows

but anyway - i fist came to AO3 because of skins! i ran out of skins fanfic to read on ff.net & wound up at AO3, and that’s how i got into tumblr, etc. etc. etc. but the fic that impacted me the most on AO3 is one i always recommend every time someone asks me for ficrecs because it’s just unbelievable, it was published over a decade ago, almost 100k words, like under 400 kudos (a crime!!) and i still reread it a couple times a year

transatlanticism by thememoriesfire it’s a katie/effy post-skins fic that sends me into the stratosphere like i am obsessed with the way this story is written & the way it unfolds & how the characters interact & how so little happens! the entire story revolves around basically just two characters talking to each other & trying to figure each other out & it’s one of the best things i have ever or will ever read! changed my perspective on fic length, on character development, on dialogue, helped me understand consistent tone of voice & characterizations etc. maybe none of y’all care about this stuff because you don’t care about skins but you don’t need to know that show to love this story! you really really don’t

anyway here are some HyperFitched stories i loved in 2011! fanfic styles have come a long way since the ff.net days so these might seem a little dated but they were very impactful to me. also people don’t write fic like this any more! kind of makes me nostalgic for simpler times

99 Problems - there’s a companion fic to this but basically all the skins characters are part of a circus & effy is losing her mind but katie helps her recover, there’s drugs & sex & sexy circus shenanigans, photography & love & aerial silks?? maybe i will re-read this actually because that’s all i remember of it but again, this consumed every waking moment of my life for as long as it took me to read it (which was probably like 4 or 5 days)

I Hold a Force I Can’t Contain - this is the emily/naomi companion piece to 99 Problems but i always liked katie/effy more tbqh

The Bend In The Wave

The Explosive Heart

11. How do you come up with your fic titles?

lame & not unique but mostly song lyrics / stuff from poems / bits of prose. i have a lot of difficulty coming up with titles, but i like the idea of a song or poem tying a story together it helps me nail down tone & themes a lot more easily.

31. Of the characters you write for, which is your favorite? Has that choice been swayed at all by your followers/readers’ reactions to certain ones?

my favorite character to write for is faith lehane (buffy), & after her lena luthor (supergirl). i like characters who have been hurt in impossibly difficult ways & who are trying to work through that hurt, characters who need to overcome their traumas, & the compelling thing to me about faith particularly (but lena too) is how her base instincts are violence & chaos; she’s been hurt so badly, so when she’s threatened she lashes out & causes more hurt. but she still wants to be good, & it’s just a matter of making herself accept that she is/can be good, that other people CAN see her that way. i am so drawn to that kind of character & it forms most of my writing.

most of my followers who follow me for my writing are bechloe stans! some harry potter folks too (there’s not a ton of really good f/f harry potter stories so people are always asking me for recs & stuff but it’s hard - there definitely are amazing works in that community but there’s not a huge breadth of non-smut fics & weirdly? a lot of them are about pansy parkinson? idk how that happened in fandom how the lesbians just decided pansy was their gal but i don’t like her so i never read those fics :/ sry rip). anyway all that to say is no my followers don’t really influence who my fav characters are to write for, because if it was up to them i would only write for like 1or 2 fandoms lol

lmk if you’re here for other fandoms! might help me in terms of which story i should work on finishing next

39. What’s something about your writing that you pride yourself on?

i think that i don’t (usually) take the easy way out in stories! i like to let the characters breathe & grow, i like to let the story move in the direction it needs to move in, even if that means i have to change or scrap what i previously planned out, even if that means i have to increase the word count from a 6k word one-shot to a 20k word one-shot (aka that korra story i just posted). perdition was originally supposed to be a 4-6 chapter story that only took place over their college years! but then it turned into a monster

thank you so much for these questions!

Fic Writer Ask Game!

#hearticho #asks #ask game

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akaiikowrites · 4 years

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nice things anons said about dcmb + some dcmb related answers

this is mostly so i don’t flood the timeline too much. but also so i can gather all these really lovely things people said and clutch it to my chest.

anon: Your fics are absolutely beautiful and I’m obsessed with your writing style. I’m sure you’ve gotten this question a lot, but when will the next chapter of dcmb come out? I’m in love with it. I can honestly say it’s one of the best fics I’ve ever read in my life.

ahfkjslhdf so first of all thank you. and oh how i cry.

the next chap of dcmb is currently about 60% done. i’ve plotted out the rest of the story. my goal is to have the whole thing finished / posted by the end of 2020 but we’ll see how that pans out.

anon: HI IM READING YOUR DADDY KINK SHEITH FIC AND IM DYING ITS SO GOOD AND REAL AND SWEET AND LIKE IMMA FUCKIN CRY

ONLY PREMIUM SOFTNESS HERE AT CHEZ KAII. THANK U.

anon: i was up until 4am binge reading "dont call me baby," you are an incredible writer i was SO entertained. i laughed, i cried, i felt the feels. thank u for writing it!!!!

sfsdkf yAAAAY. i love when people tell me they stayed up to absurd hours because tbqh that’s the godtier compliment right there. thank you!!!

anon: Hi I’m too embarrassed to be off anon but I just LOVE LOVE LOVE ur fic it’s so good...I was looking for a quick one shot and then I read it and now I’m like “Welp nothing fills this niche-shaped Sheith hole in my heart like this fic” just ahh so yes this is excellent *chefs kiss* top tier sheith writing Like I want them to be together but the buildup?? Is so good?? KEITH JUST CONFESS let him take care of youuuu anywho thank u so much for sharing this gem with all of us I am eternally grateful <3

i’m just saying if you came off anon i could shower you with the undying gratitude you deserve but as it is... BIG THANK YOU!!!!!

keith is tryin real hard. eventually he’ll learn to use his words i believe in him.

anon: I’m begging you for more of your sheith daddy fic!!! I’m crying for more!!! It’s so cute and good and amazing and I need it like I need shiro to daddy me!!!

tbqh i frequently ask “where is my 6′4″ beefy daddy who’ll treat me right???” so like. mood, nonnie. mood.

anon: Omg I finally got to read your daddy shiro fic and it’s!!! Ah!! SO so so sooo good. So friggin good I love it. I wish ao3 would let users leave multiple kudos. I can’t wait to read more!!

awwww i’ll just cuddle those theoretical multiple kudos close to my heart. 💕💕💕 thank you for reading!!!

anon: Don't Call Me Baby is ohmygod so GOOD. Please pleeeeasee tell us Shiro finally cracks in the next chapter.

he does. he absolutely fucking does.

#shut up kaii #dcmb #don't call me baby (unless you mean it)#there were so many nice anons to sort through #this honestly made me really happy #Nice Things People Say

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captainderyn · 4 years

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5 Writer Questions

Thank you for the tag @elveny <3 I’ve been particularly bad about fandom participation lately with all that’s going on, but I want to get back into it~

I’ll leave the tag open on this one!

1. Do you have a favorite character to write? Who and why?

Obviously I love writing my own characters--that’s a given. I think out of my fandom characters Wulfwryn or Raenor are my favorites to write, something about the two of them either separate or alone just hits different.

Original character wise, The Queen is probably my favorite, just because she’s so damn regal while still having a bit of wit about her.

And canon character wise I am such a sucker for writing Alistair. Let me write my soft, humorous boy any day please.

2. Do you have a favorite trope to write? Or one you want to write?

I love writing angsty tropes lol, more specifically highly emotionally charged moments that end up working out. There’s just something about writing angst that I just live for.

I also love writing really soft romances. On the entire flipside.

3. Share your favorite description you’ve written?

“Set the basket down if you’d like.” her queen’s voice broke through her skittering thoughts. Her voice was like a melody, a siren’s song to lay her duties and all the lessons of her teachers’ aside. “The water feels divine.”

“I–” Sparrow’s breath hitched, her thoughts scattering entirely as her Queen brushed long strands of hair from her neck, working at the encircling clasp of her dress. The fabric fell, catching around her waist. Ancients around, grant her strength. “My queen?”

With careful fingers the breeze stirred across the water, lifting the gauzy veil just enough so that Sparrow saw the corner of a forbidden smile. The Queen turned to look at her, hair shifting over her shoulders in a shining curtain. “I’m not going to ruin my dress for a swim.”

Her queen had always been so bold, so unabashed. Sparrow knew that she should look away as her queen shimmied the fabric from her waist, letting it pool in shimmering pale blues and purples. The cuffs shaped like soft petals slid from her arms and wrists.

This description of the Queen is one of my favorites, as well as the scene setting that comes just before it tbqh.

All around the forest hummed with life. Though night had fallen, turning the shadows to inky black and the sky a dark blue with the bright pinpricks of stars, the forest had not died with the setting sun.

Water whispered across stone, singing a sweet song. Above, branches hung with moss tangled together and draped low across the pond. Fireflies flickered over the water.

The water was beautiful, running crystalline and blue enough to see the depths beneath like it was under glass. Moonlight created a silver path like a stripe across the simmering surface.

No matter how beautiful the water was, Sparrow’s eyes couldn’t help but stray to her queen, who walked in front of her to the water’s edge. Her bare toes touched the water, sending ripples skirting across the surface. It dampened the hem of her gown, darkening the sheer fabric.

The Moon, cruel was She in her meddling, left little to the imagination as Her light drifted down to snake around her queen’s silhouette. Sparrow could feel heat creeping up her face, burning like stoked flame when her queen turned to look at her.

4. Share your favorite dialogue you’ve written?

“No, you won’t.” Her voice dripped with misery and truly, what did she believe that made her sound that way? She was shaking her head at him when he found himself unable to keep from looking back, her brows drawn tight together, expression bitter. “You won’t come back from her. I know you won’t, the grief will take you, easy as any sword.”

“Enough,” Emotion was starting to build in him, he could feel the pressure behind his eyes. “Please, you have to trust me.”

But she was merciless, unrelenting as the ocean waves on stone. “You’ve already almost lost her once! What keeps it from happening again? From truly happening? What will you do then? Hm? Look at me and tell me you’ll come back.”

“I came back!” he snapped. He hadn’t wanted to, but he did. He had ridden back down the banks of the Ford, crossed into the protection of Rivendell at Wulfwryn’s insistence.

“Fine,” Nárissë snapped in return, “What about when she grows old while you don’t?”

“Stop.” A warning note took up in his voice. He’d already thought about this, he’d already lived through enough contingencies in the shelter of his own mind.

“When she starts to wither away and you can do nothing but watch?”

“Nárissë enough.”

Nárissë refused to give, her voice almost pleading with him now to understand something. “When old age takes her mind first, erasing you, and then finally her body? When you’re left alone here?”

“Enough!” his shout rang loud enough to spook the horse next to him and he forced his voice to soften, though there was still a growling edge until finally it tripped and shattered on his last word. “I’ve heard enough.”

This scene from chapter 28 of Moments In Time...I’m very attached to this particular set of dialogue lol.

5. Scene you haven’t written, but want to?

This fricken sex scene between Wulf and Raenor of all things xD It revolves entirely around how they first met and the initial spark felt between them and I’d really like to share it. If I could just stop getting so embarrassed while writing it lmao.

#captainderyn memes #writers questions

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sonseulsoleil · 4 years

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enemies to lovers, "there was only one bed", "oh my god they were roommates"

enemies to lovers:

I like this trope a lot when it’s done well, but tbqh most of the time it’s done really poorly and the development I want just isn’t there.

"there was only one bed",

This is cute! But sometimes it makes me lowkey uncomfortable when it’s used with characters who don’t have the trust yet for it to not be...weird?

"oh my god they were roommates"

I literally devoted a year of my life to writing an 83k, 65 chapter long fic with this as the ENTIRE basis, and then the next multi-chap I wrote after that fic was the Anastasia roommates AU. I don’t even know why I love this trope so much? But I do, I really do.

send me a trope!

#ask meme #tropes #fan fiction #thanks rae!!!#unacaritafeliz

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sothischickshe · 4 years

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Author asksssss: 6, 12, and 14 :)))

Ummm ok, I can already tell this is gonna get super self-indulgent and nerdy (especially cos i’m in that sweet sweet barely caffeinated extra verbose spot) so a. sorry and b. gentle reminder you brought this on yourself, ha ha

6. Where do your titles come from?

I think there’s been something of a transition with this, but the short answer is that they’re allusive.

The first one’s ‘The Good Kind’ (which is a line of dialogue from the show which is very much referenced). Then the next three (’yourself and others’, ‘Even the best laid plans’ and ‘Bringing down the neighbourhood’) are all to, I guess, phrases? So ‘yourself and others’ from the notion of being a danger/risk to exactly that; and I kinda had a conceit with the story that each chapter would explore Beth’s relationship with different character/s and expand the world/story that way (which ended up falling by the wayside a bit for plot reasons). ‘Even the best laid plans’ from ‘the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry’ (which is kinda what happens, also lol laid) and ‘Bringing down the neighbourhood’... I actually don’t know where that phrase comes from? But they’re neighbours and they bring me tf down, so!

The chapter titles in the first of those three are boringly called, like, chapter 1, chapter 2, chapter 3 etc (no imagination! no verve!), whereas the other 2 are all song lyrics. With ‘Even the best laid plans’ the conceit was that each chapter title would be lyrics from a song about a certain substance cos Beth’s TRASHED, but again that kinda fell by the wayside for plot related reasons so there’s a couple that are allusions to slightly different concepts, vaguely in the same vein. And in ‘Bringing down the neighbourhood’, in the majority of the chapters, Beth and/or Rio end up in a different part of the other’s apartment, and the chapter titles are (otherwise also appropriate to the chapter!) lyrics from songs titled for such parts (e.g., in the first chapter they meet in the hallway, and it’s named for a lyric from dance HALL, or chapter four is the first time Rio’s in Beth’s place so it’s a line from deep INSIDE, the next chapter they end up in the kitchen so it’s a line from KITCHEN sink drama etc etc... I’m still not over the fact that the show used a cover of In My Room tbqh since I used that too!!).

Umm at which point, being totally obsessed with music as I am, I totally got WHY people tend to use lyrics as titles and started doing it for all my stories from then on out, ha ha. And I do tend to have a lyrical title in place earlier and write towards that now? So ‘Uncontrollable notes, from her snowy white throat’ (period sex, but also a lot about Rio observing/listening to Beth) from Blood Sugar Sex Magik by RHCP; ‘People can be so cold’ (romcomish, about the thawing vibes and developing friendship between Beth and Rio, features them getting stuck in the snow) from You’ve Got A Friend by Carole King, which then had a follow up called ‘Through the park and by the tree’ (more about Rio forming relationships with the other people in Beth’s life including Ruby and the kids but particularly Annie) which is named for We’re Going To Be Friends by the White Stripes (and I ended up writing in some tree and park stuff ha ha) - those two are in a series called Are you afraid or is it true (named for Dear Friend by Wings, because I just want them to all to be friends!!!!); ‘What a sight to see’ (vampire AU, features a lot of Rio being fascinated by Beth) from Vampire by Black Uhuru; ‘Climbing up the walls’ (Rio kinda going stir crazy and Beth literally scaling walls) kinda from the Radiohead song of the same name; ‘A time to refrain (from embracing)’ (which has Beth very much not wanting to want Rio and Rio very much taunting her) from Turn! Turn! Turn! (To Everything There Is A Season) by Pete Seeger, which is also a perfect concept for a series name I think, and I might end up adding to it; ‘Filing her nails while they’re dragging the lake’ (private investigator AU, Rio is extremely entertained by Beth being very cold and sneaky, Beth offscreen gets trashed and watches a lot of Veronica Mars which kind of kicks off the plot) from Watching the Detectives by Elvis Costello (ps I’m sad I didn’t know this wasn’t a one-shot and the chapters don’t have fun titles) AND ‘Maybe there’s something in the water’ (drinking! piss/bathroom related misunderstanding! excessive watery references/mentions!!) from In The Water by Nitty Scott.

Ummm as you can see I really like titling and am cheesy af!! Ah, I was gonna try to hyperlink the titles but boy that sounds hard so here’s a link to all the stories which I hope works if anyone is interested

12. What punctuation do you hate with a passion?

For formatting reasons, em dash, ellipsis, closing quotation marks. I use libre office or whatever the fuck it’s called (but I think MS word has the same kinda problems?) and it automatically tries to format stuff for you which can be helpful but is also super annoying? I don’t want a hyphen there!! etc

Also this is diacritic not punctuation, but I’m a Windows user so basically any accented characters??? The one good thing about smart phones or Macs is being able to easily type an e acute or grave or n tilde or whatever.

Apart from that... with some of my run on sentences, maybe I hate full stops?? (’periods’ if we must)

14. What’s the one word you can never spell/use properly, no matter how hard you try?

There’s a small possibility I’m finally learning how to spell ‘occasion/ally’, though I just typed it wrong (one c, double s) again, so!

Ummm in terms of using words appropriately, nothing is super jumping to mind though I’m sure there are examples! I guess Britishisms maybe fall under this category? Writing Americans is hard! Do Americans say fridge rather than refrigerator?? The internet seems mixed on this!! Is rockery a glaring Britishism?? it’s such a good word!! Special shout out to Rio for soothingly using the word duvet and calming me.

Author asks

#Writing #On writing #Music #Wow soz this got long!!#Fanfiction #Fanfic

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pixiestickers · 4 years

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fic writer tag meme

Tagged by @america-oreosandkitkats Thanks!! I don’t post much abt my fics anymore but sure ... why not.

AO3 name: Pixiestick_cc

Fandoms: too many ... but the fandoms with more than one fic to their name, over the garden wall, harry potter, the dragon prince, star wars, twilight, zootopia.

Tropes: (mostly pulling this from my most used tags) hurt/comfort, fluff and angst, humor, family, enemies to lovers, au-canon divergence, height differences, first love, (mild!!) sexual content.

Number of fics: not counting what was never brought over from fanfic dot net: 43 on Ao3 with 2 being “in progress”

Fic I spent the most time on: hrmm, probably A Perfect Sonnet (86,863) bc I started and stopped that thing so many times (that tends to happen when you’re writing a fic w/ a small audience and feedback is minimal, but hey, i knew what i was getting myself into). i started it in 2015, let it sit for 2 years, picked it up again, and then left it alone for 6 months, and then once again picked it up, only to let it slide. problem was i kept getting distracted writing for other fandoms. anyway from start to finish, it took me four years to complete.

Fic I spent the least time on: Words from a Droid (741) which happens to be my shortest fic. i was challenged to write a K2-SO fic in some reddit thread and spent an hour turning it into rebel-captain drivel lol

Longest fic: hmmm my longest fic would be my first, which appears on Ao3 as a rewrite from my twilight ff.net days Change Heartache into Courage (131,410) but like my IYLPP universe has (225,456) so even if the stories are all separate it’s the most i’ve written for a universe.

Shortest fic: already mentioned.

Most hits: A Different Goal (48,692)

Most kudos: A Different Goal (1,572)

Most comment threads: same (263)

Most bookmarks: saaammmee (298) It’s really strange how this one fic just shot up above all my others. i’m still baffled.

Total word count: 696,139

Favorite fic I wrote: Honestly, even tho it was a slog for me to get it done, i am v proud of a perfect sonnet bc it’s the most ambitious i’ve ever been when it came to crafting my own story and not just trying to jump off of tropes.

Fic you want to rewrite/expand on: tbqh i will probably go back to the iylpp universe at some point and expand it further bc if i know myself i know that i will have learned nothing from the despair of writing a fic mostly for myself. but also i would like to stop hopping from fic to fic when i get bored. like having 2 wips at the moment is annoying af.

Share a bit of a WIP or a story idea you’re planning on:

i will be honest and say that i’ve had difficulty writing as of late. pandemic and all, plus school (my own and my kids) has just taken the creative out of me. but still, i’ve managed to work on my obidala fic a little and here’s the start of the next chapter:

Padme was used to ships that were large and ornate, especially when she’d been Queen. As a senator, they were less decorative but still expressed her role in government as someone who spoke from a place of power. But now, she only spoke for herself and so it seemed fitting that the ship Bail gave to her and Obi-Wan was non-descript, nothing of consequence that would go noticed as it sped across the galaxy. It was appropriate and gave her an idea. Padme obtained the sheers from the same droids who had worked on her throat but unlike them, her efforts were less than perfect. That was to be expected considering she’d always had someone helping her with these things before. Her hair had been a piece of her culture and like the ships of her past life, she needed something less showy. No more headdresses. No more long tresses twisted into knots and buns. Just a blunt cut that rested against her neck like a jagged blade.

so i’m trying to think of who writes fic among my mutuals and will try to tag accordingly but if i miss u and u want to do this just say i tagged you anyway.

@soft-dee @justme--emily @beenwandering @221bdisneystreet @leaving-a-comment @mama-sally

#about me #fanfic

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horansqueen · 3 years

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I’m rereading stuck with you chapters! That’s how bad I need a new chapter 😂

lmao!!! i just posted a chapter not even 24 hours ago hahaha! ill try to update asap! tbqh as soon as i was done writing this chapter, i wanted to start the next one lol! thank you for re-reading, it means the world to me tbh! you made my day 😊💖

#my fanfics #swy #Anonymous

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kinetic-elaboration · 3 years

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October 31: Halloween

I had a very low key Halloween, which I suppose is appropriate for a Sunday holiday. I spent most of the day reading, though not quite as much as I wanted to. In the evening, I had leftover Chinese, and mom and I watched old Nickelodeon shows for the holiday--AAAAAH! Real Monsters and Are You Afraid of the Dark, specifically. It was nice but... I don’t know, I feel a bit too tired to really enjoy it tbqh.

And I’m a little overwhelmed, which I think just comes from how much I was reading today and how it’s like... an in between time of year now. Everyone’s gonna start talking about Christmas like basically now, but I haven’t watched, like, any horror movies yet this year so I still want to do that, and of course I want to finish my Southern Gothic AU.

I’m afraid I’m going to run out of steam for it. Possibly for everything... I think this is tired Sunday night me talking. I feel like I’ve been on a slow spookiness simmer for... well, the last two months, with the heat only slightly turned up today. So it’s kind of unsatisfying because I feel burned out but also like I didn’t do/experience/feel anything. The worst of both worlds!

Anyway. I feel a little unsatisfied but I think it’s just fatigue and maybe being a little overwhelmed. Tomorrow I’m going to clean and hopefully also outline the next chapter of the Southern Gothic AU. I know the general outline of it but I was planning it out in more detail in my head and brainstorming some other ideas for it, and I want them all written down before I start writing, or I’ll be constantly second guessing myself about forgetting something.

#the year 2021 #2021: rl

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kingsofeverything · 5 years

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2019 Writing Goals, revisited.

i did that 2019 writing goals post and totally left a bunch of things off. plus it was super vague. so, this is a more specific list of fics i plan to write:

the drum beats out of time - this is part 2 of the second hand unwinds. harry’s pov. i’ve been working on a timeline, which ummmm time travel and all makes it necessary (lol that i found some inconsistencies in the dates in tshu that i’ll have to go back and change). i have plotted some of it, but not a lot. i’ve been kind of avoiding this fic at all costs lol because PRESSURE and EXPECTATIONS. i’m pretty much going into writing it knowing that not everyone will like it or it won’t be what they wanted, but that’s ok. yes, some of harry’s emails will be included.

chemical switches - this is my vampire!harry fic. i wrote about 20k of it and scrapped most of that. i’m going to keep some of it, but it has to be rewritten. i really, really, really WANT to write this fic. which means i’ll probably never do it lolllllll the idea is so cool inside my head but y’all can’t see in there, so...............

don’t want shelter timestamps - there are 2 that i want to write.

the first weekend that harry drives up to visit louis at his house. i’d originally planned to write it from harry’s pov since dws is louis’ pov, but i’m actually thinking of doing it from louis’ pov instead. because it’ll basically be a long weekend of harry sort of proving to louis that he’s serious about their relationship, and louis being skeptical and finally coming around.

the summer that harry takes all of the photos that are on the wall in chapter 9. they’re both 13 though and i’m just......... ugh about writing them that young. it’s not something i’ve done before and the one time i tried to write them younger, i couldn’t do it. but this one would definitely be from harry’s pov. it’s when he realizes he’s for sure gay and also that he for sure has the biggest crush on louis.

groundhog day au - there have been 2 groundhog day larry fics written for this fandom, one has definitely been deleted. idk about the other one, but i haven’t been able to find it again. but both are written from louis’ pov with him as the one getting stuck in the time loop, so i want to write it from harry’s pov. also, though i really enjoyed both of them, they’re both based on the idea of the time loop and not the actual movie. so it would be harry as the bill murray character, who, if you’ve seen the movie, is a complete and total dickhead. like, an actual awful person who uses the time loop to do not so nice stuff at first. like get laid under false pretenses etc. (in one scene, he asks a woman where she grew up and went to school, etc. then when he wakes up the following (same) day, he pretends to remember her from school, like they’re old friends, then they have sex, and she’s gone the next day. the movie implies that he does this repeatedly.) AND ALSO ONE OF THE MOST INTERESTING PARTS ABOUT THE MOVIE AND THE STORY THAT THE WRITERS TALK ABOUT IN INTERVIEWS is that he is caught in this time loop for like a decade! and he changes as a person during that time. so if i actually sit down to write this fic, i’d like to explore that more. the change from complete asshole to actual good person? yes please. oh, and one thing i’d definitely change is the date! i want to make it xmas eve, so it’s louis’ bday and i think that’d be fun to write.

nirvana karaoke au - the idea is basically that h and l are at their 25th high school reunion (because fyi 2019 is 25 years since kurt cobain died) and harry sings ‘smells like teen spirit’ at karaoke. it’s louis’ pov. louis has never been to a reunion before because ewwww who wants to go to a high school reunion? (not me tbqh) but his friends (zayn and liam?) make him go (idk why yet lol) and he sees harry there, but he doesn’t remember harry from school, etc.

okaaaaaaaaaaaaay. that’s it! these are the fics i plan to write in 2019. let’s see if i write any of them lolllll

#writing goals #writing stuff #my writing #louandhazaf

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janiedean · 6 years

Note

“I like age gaps in ships” please fuck off

youtube

Bruce Springsteen’s Youngstown is a song originally written for his 1995 record The Ghost of Tom Joad, which won a grammy award for best new folk album and, going back to 1982′s Nebraska, picks up again on the subject of discussing social matters in the modern era United States.

Originally written as an acoustic piece, Youngstown was inspired by reading Dale Maharidge’s frankly great book (that all of tumblr should read) Journey to Nowhere: The Saga of the New Underclass, whose first four chapters are indeed focused on the saga of the town of Youngstown, Ohio, once famous for having been the most important steel producer in the United States before the mills got shut down in the late seventies/early eighties therefore bringing the city’s economy to a collapse and the unemployment rate/poverty rate to skyrocket, and therefore creating a whole new bunch of newly poor people who, in lack of skills other than manual work (in the book one of the workers says that 20% of his colleagues in the mills couldn’t even read or write, and tbqh I’d like to know if most of tumblr dot com wouldn’t help the world by getting angry that there’s such a high illiteracy degree in the US rather than at most stuff ppl on tumblr get angry about), hopped on a car with their family (or on a train on their own) and left for either Texas (where they’d be discriminated based on the Ohio license plates) or California to pick fruit (in pure Steinbeck fashion).

In this essay, I will explain you why Youngstown has some of the best lyrics ever written at least by Springsteen and how it’s a gem of a song that would eat for breakfast 99% of what people like on this godforsaken website like, while at the same time managing to join great storytelling with actual activism as it was about an issue that people feel so strongly about that they ignored it for years before then getting surprised when blue-collar workers went for Trump because he promised change.

Now, on to the lyrics!

The song opens with:

Here in northeast Ohio, back in eighteen-o-threeJames and Danny Heaton found the ore that was lining Yellow CreekThey built a blast furnace here along the shoreAnd they made the cannon balls that helped the Union win the war

This opening already shows why Springsteen is an extremely good lyricist, as in four simple lines we already learn all the backstory we need to know to have an idea of what’s up with Youngstown even if we aren’t from the US or know nothing about it anyway: we know where it is, we know when the steel producing started (1803) and who started it (James and Danny Heaton) and why (because there was ore in the area). Then we establish that everyone works with blast furnaces, the key to the entire song, and then we immediately link the steel factoring with their role in the wars the US fought, starting from Civil War cannonballs which helped the Union win the war therefore uniting the country.

Here in Youngstown, here in YoungstownMy sweet Jenny I’m sinking downHere darling in Youngstown

Except that from the refrain we know that things aren’t going well, since the narrator is sinking, and if we know (from the book but also from other sources) that Jenny was the nickname for one of the largest furnaces in the city, we immediately know what to expect from the rest of the song.

Going ahead:

Well my daddy worked the furnaces, kept ‘em hotter than hellI come home from ‘Nam worked my way to scarfer, a job that’d suit the devil as wellWell taconite coke and limestone fed my children and made my payThem smokestacks reaching like the arms of God into a beautiful sky of soot and clay

In the second stanza, we move on to the personal part of the song: the narrator talks about his daddy, suggesting that working in the furnaces was an hereditary job, and kept them hotter than hell, which introduces the second main theme in the song as in, the Heaven/Hell contrast which comes to fruition at the end. The narrator is a Vietnam veteran, so he’s supposedly a young man or young-ish, so the entire tradition of working in furnaces dates back a long time, and then he informs us that his job would suit the devil as well, connecting again with the fire/hell/hot imagery, which of course is not original but it’s immediately effective in this context, especially linked to blast furnaces.

The narrator then goes on to the economical discussion, as in, he fed his children and made his pay with the materials that go into making steel, taconite, coke and limestone, which is a rather poetic way of putting it, which keeps on in the hauntingly beautiful next line which is honestly a work of art: them smokestacks reaching like the arms of God (biblical image where God is again brought up in contrast to the previous Hell-ish immagery) into a beautiful sky of soot and clay (where we have a in-built contrast because soot and clay are not words associated with beautiful and actually soot = dirt = ugliness) suggests in a simple but haunting line how such a less than gratifying job is seen by these people as something to be proud of which creates beauty as he feeds their family and allows them to pay the bills.

Again, we have the refrain which suggests us that in Youngstown things aren’t going well, until the bridge goes into:

Well my daddy come on the Ohio works when he come home from World War TwoNow the yard’s just scrap and rubble, he said “Them big boys did what Hitler couldn’t do.”Yeah these mills they built the tanks and bombs that won this country’s warsWe sent our sons to Korea and Vietnam, now we’re wondering what they were dying for

This stanza is another proof of how Springsteen can manage to pack a lot of information into a rather short stanza without renouncing lines that drop on you like bombs ready to explode.

First, we learn that the narrator’s daddy was a WWII veteran, so there’s a direct connection in between how these people who build weapons for the US wars also fight in them (and if you read the book and know that a quarter of them couldn’t even read it’s… honestly unsettling), and then that the yard’s just scrap and rubble. “Them big boys did what Hitler couldn’t do” is lifted from a line in the book from an ex steel mill worker whose son was laid off from that exact same job and who also had fought in WWII, and proceeds to point out the severity of the situation in its haunting simplicity.

Then, we go back to the cannon balls that helped the Union win the war: since then Youngstown has built tanks and bombs that won this country’s wars along with its inhabitants but now they all closed, people are without job, the sons of the men who went to Korea and Vietnam died in there and came back to their only source of income gone, and now we’re wondering what they were dying for. Which, without saying, is implicitly but not-so-much a heavy critique of how the US government has no scruples sending men to war and then leave them to die and how the ones who survive feel betrayed when finding out they don’t even have a job anymore, or they can’t have the one job they trained for.

But it’s not over here: before the last refrain, we have:

From the Monongahela valley to the Mesabi iron rangeTo the coal mines of Appalachia, the story’s always the sameSeven hundred tons of metal a day, now sir you tell me the world’s changedOnce I made you rich enough, rich enough to forget my name

Here we went back at the beginning: the same way the first stanza told us everything we needed to know about Youngstown historically, this one tells us that Youngstown is not alone and the same economical waste and depression is to be found in all the places in the US above mentioned (Monongahela, Mesabi, Appalachia) where entire towns/counties are facing poverty because they lost their only source of income as the world changes but they’re not given the chance to change with them, because they only were trained for seven hundred tons of metal a day and now they know nothing else and so they’re told the world has moved on when they can’t move on with him.

And now we have what’s thematically the most important line of the song imo even if the next stanza is its symbolical perfect conclusion: you tell me the world’s changed once I made you rich enough, rich enough to forget my name. Here we have some vitriolic, angry criticism at the rich people who only care about their workers as long as they provide profit for them and then are ready to drop them like wasted junk the moment they’re not needed anymore and they’re rich enough to forget their name why they can’t feed their children and make their pay anymore, because of course a steel mill worker will make less than the CEO of the company selling the metal he makes or the bank taking away his house if he cannot pay for it anywhere.

Anyhow, for anyone else this would have been the climax, but since Springsteen is not the first idiot that walks by and can write a song, where anyone else would have left it there and concluded with a last refrain (same as above), he has a post-script after the refrain that ends the song without giving it the bridge-last stanza-refrain usual rock song closure:

When I die I don’t want no part of heaven, I would not do heaven’s work wellI pray the devil comes and takes me to stand in the fiery furnaces of hell

These two lines are a pure work of art in how they manage to wrap up the song by re-using thematically all the heaven/hell imagery previously established and leave the listener with an acute sense of dread.

The narrator, which before compared the smoke to the arms of God, doesn’t want to go Heaven because he wouldn’t do Heaven’s work well (let’s remember he built weapons and has fought a war, so we can assume he also is working through war-related trauma in that sense). He also prays that the devil comes and takes him which is technically an oxymoron as people don’t pray the devil (they pray to God or the angels or good entities, not to bad entities - the devil is summoned or evoked or you sell your soul to him, you don’t pray for him to come and take you), to stand in the fiery furnaces of Hell, which is the final connecting link to the before-laid-down Hell imagery and goes back to the initial furnace/hot/hell/devil imagery by giving it almost a positive spin. Indeed:

is a word that has positive connotation - strong, bright, blazing, brilliant, vivid, rich, strong, bold, passionate: same way as the workers felt about their steel mill jobs that were taken away from them and left them with a handful of nothing and struggling to make ends meet. So the ideal end is not to ascend to Heaven but to go to Hell where furnaces would be going for all eternity (furnaces only can work until they’re on and they have to be lighted up all day otherwise it takes an inane amount of money to start them again), fiery and proud, and patience if it’s Hell that’d take the narrator, because Heaven had nothing for him. And that’s why us listeners, even if not familiar with either Youngstown or its plight nor know shit about steel mills or how a blast furnaces work, at the end of the song feel upset and creeped out, because we’re put in front of a situation that’s gone to shit and where people have died and bled and worked all their life for nothing and gave themselves to wars that ultimately made the US what it is and gave it economic prosperity hoping to have their piece of the American dream and then get royally fucked and would rather go to Hell where their trade would be appreciated than ascend to Heaven like technically anyone Christian should want.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how you write a damned great song that a) teaches the listeners something, b) discusses social issues within it, c) does its job of activism work as an extremely famous singer brings awareness to an issue that no politician gives a fuck about at least from what my poor Italians self can understand, d) is also not at all boring in either of its version. Actually, the original packs a punch in its quiet deliver while the electrical is just devastatingly angry and raging with that same fiery fervor described in the ending stanza, and both make an excellent job of delivering their message. Here is the original acoustic take played in Youngstown itself during the Ghost of Tom Joad tour:

youtube

Too bad that not many people on tumblr who like to pretend they’re doing activism listen to Bruce Springsteen.

Sad.

#bruce springsteen for ts #anon hate saga #lmfao #here anon have an essay #from now on that's how I reply to this kind of idiotic nonsense #*shrug*#I hope you learned something!!!!! :)#Anonymous #ask post #bruce meta

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