#i just... idk we already know neil's side of it all?

[stabbyfoxandrew]

uh... i was gonna update cosmic lost and found today

but like... do i need a neil chapter in between the last one and now?

[13docwriting]

Hello! It's me again, giving my minute by minute review of The Giggle. I have not seen any spoilers or watched any trailers, so I know nothing. Well... I know that Neil Patrick Harris is someone lol. As a summary, I enjoyed Chibnall's era, loved the thirteenth Doctor with all of my heart, and know little about the classic series but am obsessed with nuwho. I am also weary of RTD's writing but I loved the first special and enjoyed the second. LET'S GO!

Again, last time I'll complain, I MISS LIVE REBLOGGING WITH FANS. 1. Oh my horror movie vibes again. Okay.

2. Uh. What's up with the accent for Neil Patrick Harris (NPH to make my life easier). That feels a bit... Not good. Especially with the "messed up" words to accentuate it. It just doesn't sound right. I know it's supposed to be a STUPID amount of fake, but it's boarding on offensive.

3. "I'll need a moving image" right to the jump scare lol. I don't MIND horror movies, but I don't necessarily want it for every single Doctor Who episode. A bit disappointed.

4. NPH dancing with David Tennant for those point two seconds did something to me. Also, LOVE NPH's makeup there.

5. I'm already so tired of UNIT having all this money. I don't know, it doesn't feel right. They were supposed to stay hidden so that people didn't know about them. Are we officially saying that humans know about aliens? That's the only acceptable answer I'll take as to why we got helicopters and military vehicles just out and about.

6. Awesome, AWESOME music. Always. Just, again, a thousand kudos to everyone doing this beautiful arrangement.

7. I LOVE Shirley. I love her. Representation done right, in my opinion. It's ironic that RTD can do something EXACTLY as it's supposed to be and the fumble the ball on something else in the very same episode i.e. the first special with Shirley right to "male presenting" Time Lord (see my first live blogging to hear the speech I did already lol).

8. KATE - KATE - KATE. My h e r o. My LOVE! We JUST saw her with 13 and I loved every single part she was in. Her finally seeing the inside of the TARDIS made me so happy.

9. KATE HUGGING THE DOCTOR. Awww! That is so gosh darn cute. I don't know how long it's been exactly since Kate saw 13 after the whole Master thing in Power of the Doctor, but it's so nice to see her hugging him. I was scared for a moment it was going to be a slap lol.

10. "How do we fight the human race." Uh... That's quite a plot, isn't it? I... The Doctor, thirteen especially, always made a point of saying how good "you humans" can be. Saying that humans are inherently bad just doesn't sit right with me. There's a speech roaring up with me about how RTD sees people in general and how that effects the optimistic and hopeful attitude of Doctor Who in gneral, but that'll have to come later.

11. OH HEY Melanie! I know that companion! Kind of! I've never see any of her episodes but that's awesome. SIDE NOTE... Just like with Power of the Doctor, I feel a little disoriented when I know I'm supposed to know something / really appreciate the moment and I can't. I'm so happy that Chibnall AND RTD are so very willing to let classic who people come back, I'm just always a little lost with things like this. (I wonder if other people my age feel that way? Any else 25?)

12. "Is park rude?" "Borderline". I... What? Why would you even turn to Shirley with a question like that? See what I mean about dropping the ball.

13. "Why should I care?" Prime Minister. "No change there then." Donna. hehe I love those little moments where DW shows current political distain.

14. We're... We're not gonna ask a million questions about what Vlinx is? What they're doing there? How they got there? The Doctor's not doing the usual excited dance and asking how hot their cortex runs, the amount of brain power they have, etc. Idk, seemed like a wasted moment. (Unless I'm missing some classic who stuff again?)

15. Listen, I'm a very simple lesbian... I see an "evil" Kate and I get a little excited, okay? Woman power and all that, am I right? 16. "As for you [Shirley], with that chair - I've seen you walk!" What the actual fuck. Listen, I know, I KNOW people are idiots about wheelchairs. I know some people don't know that some people who use a wheelchair aren't completely paralyzed, but to point it out in this way just feels... It feels like a misstep...? I have no right to comment, I'm not a wheelchair user, but the way RTD handles things like this always makes me nervous.

17. "The old archangel network" ahhh hello there preteen headcannons! Ahhhh the Master, how lovely a reminder of those days! God, what a plotline that was back in the day. I am not surprised at all that RTD fit that line in, let me tell you. The man seems to like to brag about his old stories (inconspicuously points to David Tennant and Catherine Tate.)

18. Why would Donna ever, ever guess that those brain waves were music? Where in god's name would ANYONE come up with that without ANY sort of hint? What kind of mary sue writing is that? I'm just supposed to take that? Talk about a convenient plot device. I don't like lazy writing.

19. "The very first image has been hiding in every screen ever since." See, THAT'S cool! I like that kind of story, where another god-like entity has that sort of power. Someone PLANNED that. As always, things like this are why I love when the Master comes back. His convoluted plots creates such great writing and stories.

20. "What, because you're so clever [at Shirley asking why they never found the Stooky Bill laugh before]." Hey 14, your 10 is showing - the parts of 10 that adult me has problems with.

21. "[The human race] is also savage, venal, and relentless." Alright, maybe I'm thinking too much about 12 and 13, mostly 13, but the distain that 14 (cough ten cough) displays for humans has ALWAYS been icky to me. The Doctor TRAVELS with humans, has worked with them, has LOVED them. You can't call an entire species monsters and then claim to love them. People CAN be monsters, but ten - sorry, 14 - has a habit of not taking the time to make that distinction between species vs person. 13, meanwhile, has never insulted a single human. She has encouraged people, genuinely wants them to be better, and only alienates herself not by pointing humans down, but by feeling so different than everyone around her.

22. "Using your intelligence to be stupid... And hating each other. You never needed any help with that". Well, congrats, this may be my least favorite episode of Doctor Who ever. I don't like getting insulted, I don't like the Doctor being mean, I don't like the tone of this episode... Doctor Who is a hopeful, lighthearted show that brings a smile to my face. Yes, it has moments that make me sob, but it's not some police drama. DW is a sci-fi show about traveling a beautiful universe. THIS is not what the show should be.

23. "Can we take out that satellite?" So Kate's waiting for permission... But, question... THE TARDIS IS RIGHT THERE. You're telling me the Doctor can't go up there, sonic the thing off to make it look like it's a technical error, and then eff of? I know writers OFTEN give the good old "the TARDIS is unavailable" to avoid thoughts like this, but RTD left the TARDIS RIGHT THERE. We have a time and space machine!

24. Side note, very side note, but are we ever gonna fix the gravity to "mavity" thing? Is that gonna come back?

25. The Doctor: "you have my permission" [to blow up the satellite]. But... But that's... What can UNIT say to that? "Oh yeah hey, our alien from outer space that we trust that you don't know gave us the go-ahead to blow your satellite up. Please don't fire missiles at us, we got the "OK." What? Just... What?

25. Oh hey, was Melanie at the therapy session for past companions in the Power of the Doctor? That would honest to god fit so well and I would love that. I'll have to look later.

26. Again, I almost have to laugh at the budget. All this money and we're using it to fire off a gun... In Doctor Who... Where the Doctor hates guns. Figures.

27. 120[k] plus five weeks' holiday." OH FUCK YEAH DONNA. Girl boss right there! You deserve that money! Freaking LOVE IT. And I'd love Donna working at UNIT. Maybe Martha and her could be best friends? Oh hey, where the hell is Martha and Mickey, btw?

28. Ha, Crowley, COUGH, I mean the Doctor on SoHo's streets once again. Hehe.

29. "Donna, I'm a billion years old". WOAH, WHAT? He can't be serious, right? No way 13 lived that long after 12's 2,000 ish years, right? Is 14 counting the confession dial? He has to be, right? I almost wish 13 mentioned her age now.

30. "But you are busy every second of every day" uh, yes. That was 13's coping mechanism. If she never stopped, she never had to think. Granted, that was every single Doctor's coping mechanism, but 13 had a lot of crap to get through and the fact that she got sent to prison with all that MUST have destroyed them.

31. Donna trying to give the Doctor mental health advice will forever be a favorite moment between the two of them for me. I'm so glad to see how much Donna cares about him.

32. NPH is just fabulous. He really just takes over the scene, even against actors like David Tennant and Catherine Tate. I was mesmerized by the ball scene. Granted, the accent makes me squint my eyes, but still... Him playing the villain will always be exciting.

33. Oh the Doctor knows him! An old enemy, that can't be good. OH and with the first Doctor as well, talk about a VERY old enemy. It's only been a billion years, eh? Hm, and the Doctor seems terrified of him. I'm getting the Master vibes. Is the Toymaker a Time Lord?

34. I sincerely wish that the Doctor mentioned being the Timeless Child to Donna when the Doctor said "what am I without my toys". I just... Donna can't understand why this speech even exists without knowing that the Doctor's entire history was erased - was taken from him. People may hate the Timeless Child plotline, but it's THERE. If RTD is going to build the emotional trauma off of that, it should be mentioned by name. I'm glad we mentioned the Flux, but the Timeless Child is what drove the Doctor nearly insane. It's what drove the Master even more insane. It should be mentioned properly.

35. Why the fuck, after that emotion speech, would these two idiots even separate AN INCH? Donna just saw how terrified the Doctor was, the Doctor IS terrified, why would they not hold hands? Why would they not stick to each other like glue. Again, lazy writing.

36. I can not explain how much this doesn't feel like Doctor Who. I can not even being to rant about how much this doesn't feel like my goofy little sci-fi show that makes me smile. I feel cheated. RTD, you got your Midnight / stupid scary episode last time and I complimented it. I cannot believe I have to sit through another one of your horror episodes. Again, the spirit of Doctor Who is the relationship and connections to how amazing humans can be. It's about hope, and optimism, and learning. Of course there's scary episodes, of course there's a step to the left in terms of how the usual episodes go, but what the heck is this?

Is it good writing? Perhaps. The dialogue, tone, and plot is convincing, I'll give RTD that. But is this MY show, my Doctor Who? No. I've said before that RTD relies on nostalgia and this episode only ferments that. If it wasn't David Tennant and characters that weren't already introduced literal years ago, how'd we even know this wasn't the same show?

37. Why the FUCK is Donna so violent? We know she's a badass, we know she's sassy, we know she's fearless... But banging that doll into the wall, a furious look on her face? Where the fuck did she learn that one?

38. How fucking dare RTD mention the Flux but bypass the fam, Yaz, and Dan. How fucking dare he. How dare he pick and chose what he liked from Chibnall's era. And you know what, let's have a laugh, shall we? Maybe he can't mention them because all of them had a GOOD ending. All of them left of their own accord. They left feeling stronger, feeling good about themselves, feeling like they've see the universe and want to make their home, earth, better. What has RTD done but killed the Doctor's happiness? And don't come at me with my own words - the Doctor could have mentioned Yaz and the fam as a defense against himself. "But I've learned - I've learned that humans are strong, that my friends are stronger than I ever could be! Yasmin Khan, Ryan Sinclair, Graham O'Brian, Dan Lewis - all them are safe. All of them are loved. They have always been the best parts of me. Now, Toymaker... I challenge you to a game." TADA. I even think I got David Tennant's correct cadence, and I never even wrote him!

If you are a showrunner for DW, you have a responsibility to the past writers to show some respect. The way RTD is handling the Flux is fine, but you can't erase the Timeless Child because it doesn't fit with your own version of Doctor Who. It has been done, get over it. USE it.

39. *Splutters* "I made a jigsaw out of your history". You will NOT be taking responsibility for the Timeless Child like this. You will not have a villain create the Timeless Child just to erase it. AND YOU TOOK THE MASTER FROM ME? MY FAVORITE MASTER? YOU TOOK SPYDOC FROM ME? Holy shit I need a drink. My rage is unfathomable.

40. To be fair, seriously, it's good writing if it WASN'T Doctor Who. I am being fair. It's heart pounding, it's exciting, but it's not the same show or the reason I love the show.

41. ... Okay, NPH... Yeah. That scene. I'm not even going to hint about what scene I'm talking about. Everyone knows. It was a 10/10 performance. It was fantastic. There's no criticism, I'll be watching that ten million times. (Damn shame they didn't let him sing it though).

42. The speech the Doctor is making to the Toymaker sounds AWFULLY familiar, doesn't it? Perhaps, the Master, once again? The Doctor just picks these god-like entities and goes "I will love you" and clings on for dear life. I assure you, somewhere in that tooth the Master is screaming "YOU ASKED ME FIRST".

44. "We can be celestial." Someone tell me if DT played Crowley season 2 before or after this. I could HEAR Crowley on that last word, come on now.

45. what the fuck. what the fuck. what the f u c k. WE'RE FUCKING KEEPING DAVID TENNANT. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE KEEPING HIM. HE'S HAD HIS TIME TWICE OVER. WHY. WHY. WHY. HE WAS A GOOD DOCTOR BUT IT'S NOT FAIR THAT HE'S STILL HERE.

RTD changed regeneration. I'VE HAD TO DEAL WITH THE HATERS TORMENTING ME ABOUT CHANGING THE DOCTOR'S PAST IN A WAY THAT DOESN'T EFFECT DW CANON, AND YET RTD CAN DO THIS?

ALL BECAUSE HE WANTS TO KEEP DT. Someone sedate me, I'm going to be the one being on walls and screaming soon. Fuck me. Let the Doctor go! That's the whole bloody point. I can't with this. If you haters out there accept this one I don't want anyone ever coming at me about the Timeless Child again. I'll just throw pictures of up this regeneration scene with a bunch of arrows. And not to mention, I hate this idea? I hate it. I hate it. Regeneration was about change and rebirth, now it's about adding a little hint of something new. It was about letting go, getting ready for a new future, handing someone else the torch of this beautiful show. Oh my god, I hate it here. I'm STAYING for Nucti. I'm honoring his first performance, but I am pissed. I might not even be able to write more.

46. "Do you come in a range of colors." What. What kind of line is that? What... Why did we even have to mention that? He also comes with a different gender, Donna, I don't think his "color" matters. That was the point of the first special, if you could remember that.

I'm taking an effing walk... Off a bridge at this point.

47. Why didn't we give the 15th Doctor trousers? We didn't give 14 13's clothes now did we? But we can have the 15 Doctor running around half naked... On a family show? Come on now.

48. We... We really... We really wasted the Toymaker with a game of catch. Really. I was just complimenting the writing and then we did that?

49. I'm loving 15's care and love. His openness. Is this the Doctor forgiving himself?

50. Oh hey, what lovely person took the Master from that gold tooth, eh? Maybe... Missy, perhaps?

51. MENTION THE TIMELESS CHILD YOU FUCKING COWARD OH MY GOD. Not you, 15, you're great sweetie. RTD MENTION THE PROPER PAST YOU ASS. You can mention all the past adventures but not the latest one? Seriously?

52. Something, something, so glad 14 got a happy ending, something something, wish 13 had that, something something, too bad Chibnall followed the rules of regeneration just as all the writers did beforehand SOMETHING SOMETHING.

53. I'm getting the mildest hint of karma because I never understood why people said the couldn't understand Jodie... I'm actually having a bit of a hard time with Nucti lmao. I always use subtitles so it doesn't matter to me, but just thought I'd mention that.

54. Nucti better kiss a man full of the mouth. He is... Quite something. Jack Harkness would faint.

55. I have a question. How is 15 older? Isn't it like 2.2 seconds only, if anything?

56. I really am glad that 14 got a family. It is beautiful.

I usually do like a summary or whatever but I'm just so bitter and pissed. Here, 3/10, two of those points are for 15 and one is for the Toymaker... Even if the Toymaker character was wasted.

[inahallucination]

anderperry au where mr perry doesn’t want neil dating becuz that might make him happy distract him 

but the andersons are a family of money and influence (i mean im guessing) and after hiding their relationship constantly from eyes that might report back to mr perry and almost being caught becuz of his random visits, neil and todd decide they need to do something

and todd remembers back when jeff got a girlfriend, todd didn’t know her name, jeff barely knew her name, but their parents had gushed about her family name and the potential business deals (they’d broken up not long after adn they had switched to ‘well there are better families’ and ‘you should focus on your school and you’ll find a better family in college’ though jeff had just looked bored adn relieved) 

and todd’s like wait that could work

adn so the poets hatch a plan to let mr perry think that neil pursuing todd is his idea for the sake of a potential partnership with the andersons (idk what the families do but its probably boring and compatible) 

the first step is putting the idea in his head

so when mr perry comes to yell at neil for one thing or the other one fo the poets just happens to come and complain about being worried about being set u with another poet because of family business

and then to put todd in the list of potential candidates they have lookout watching mr perry come see neil just in time to ‘accidently overhear’ todd ask neil if he wants to come with todd to visit his brother, JEFF ANDERSON at harvard or wherever the fuck jeff is at (did he or did he not blackmail the fuck out of his older brother to convince him to this plan ? mayhaps . could it still have been done if he just asked ? mayhaps .) 

to sweeten the deal, todd calls neil during thanksgiving break to invite him to some get together his parents are hosting 

of course, there’s the added bonus of the andersons thinking that someone who’s set to harvard being in a relationship wtiht heir son will be good for them

(if u got this far adn are still thinking ‘wait the andersons and the perrys are pieces of shit why r they so accepting’ have i ever written an au where anyone is homophobic)

so anyway

all this and mr perry finally tells neilt hat he should consider getting closer to the anderson kid while teh andersons probably imply the same and have todd blink at them and say ‘what, like married? i don’t think we can until we’re like 18’ because he kinda forgot that his parents didn't know about him and neil because he was so focused on the perrys

anyway

on the other side, neil tells his dad that him and todd are already really close friends

and mr perry is like ‘have you considered pursuing a relationship’

and neil’s like ‘im not allowed to date dad’

and mr perrys like given the circumstances, that rule is no longer important, in terms of todd anderson

and neil’s like ‘well i’ll try, but ill have to convince todd that im interesting beyond just like school stuff’

and mr perry’s like jsut do whatever you think you need to do, an in into the anderson family could be good

and neil’s like of course dad and then he goes back to todd to kiss him senseless because yayyyy it worked !!

and yeah

were there less complicated ways to get the same result ? probably, but todd and neil asked charlie and meeks for help planning, and it kind of spiraled

but like i want a 293458298523 words fic of the poets gaslighting mr perry into thinking anderperry was his brilliant business idea while neil adn todd, already planning their future because theyre fucking saps, are making out in the background

[astudyintheburningofhearts]

FINALLY FINISHED GOOD OMENS- IT WAS SO GOOD WTF- ALSO ALSO ALSO I HAVE SO MANY THINGS TO SAY-

(spoilers under the cut) .

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Bildad the Shuhite, love of my life.

BRO THE METATRON- FUCK HIM, HONESTLY, WHAT A DICK- (chanelling my inner comic!Nick Nelson, can you tell?)

The FUCKING "I FORGIVE YOU" AZIRAPHALEEEEE WHYYYYYYYYY (ALSO NEIL WHY. WHY. LITERALLY MY HEART-)

Couldn't cry because family was present + It'd been spoilt somewhat for me BUT NOTHING PREPARED ME FOR THE SCENES BEFORE THE KISS WHERE CROWLEY'S TRYING TO CONFESS AND AZIRAPHALE'S TRYING TO TELL HIM ABOUT THE POSITION HE JUST TOOK- UGHHHHHHHH

AND ALSO THE RESIGNED "DON'T BOTHER" OH. MY. GOSHHHHHH- CROWLEY :( MY HEART :(

also- the way the fucking way Crowley looked at Nina as if to say "I tried" and then at Maggie as if to say "I hope you do better/I hope it goes better for you" ffs

Also, again, FUCK METATRON- because this bitch walks in IMMEDIATELY after Crowley and then wastes absolutely NO time before bitching about him- literally "Always asked damn fool questions too"- not only is he manipulating Aziraphale into sort of believing Crowley would just fall again or he wouldn't do well by his side (DESPITE MANIPULATING HIM BY TELLING HIM THAT HE COULD MAKE HIM AN ANGEL AGAIN, MIND YOU) (imo, at least)

It truly is Aziraphale, Mr. I will make it better for you and Crowley, Mr. I never wanted you to make it better/ never wanted for it to be better, all I've ever wanted is you

The "Hear that? ... No Nightingales" literally broke my heart- cuz I remember reading some meta about it somewhere on here and when I was thinking about it to myself after watching, I could only think of how it sort of symbolised then end of their relationship and that broke me, ok? Especially when the Bentley played A Nightingale Sang In Berkely Square instead of its usual Queen- AND THEN HOW CROWLEY PAUSED FOR A MINUTE TO LISTEN TO IT? NO. LITERALLY STOP, OK. LIKE THE WAY IT SEEMS THAT HE'S ALREADY REMINISCING- HOW HE'S SO FUCKING DEJECTED AND FEELS LIKE HE NEEDS TO HOLD ONTO ANY PIECE OF THEM HE CAN BEFORE HE COMPLETELY GIVES UP- (AGAIN, IMO) BUT FUCK??????

On another note, however, how freaking adorable were Beelzebub and Gabriel??????????? They make me wanna 💢 🔪

No literally- Gabriel making only Everyday play on the jukebox???? Beelzebub recognising it????????? The FUCKING FLY MESSAGE ON THE BOX- shut up that's so cute, they're so stupidly in love- ALSO THE "MY HEAVEN IS WHERE BEELZEBUB IS" "AND MY HELL IS WHERE YOU ARE, MY SWEET"?????????????????????????????????? FUCKING SLAPPED- ME WHEN BRO. ME WHEN. GOD-

AND ALSO. THE. WAY. CROWLEY. AND. AZIRAPHALE. LOOK. AT. EACH. OTHER/ SHARE. A. LOOK. WHEN. CROWLEY. MENTIONS. APLHA. CENTAURI. LITERALLY ACTUALLY STFU OK? *SLAMS A DOOR IN NOBODY'S FACE IN PARTICULAR*

ALSO- CROWLEY TELLING AZIRAPHALE HOW HE PROBABLY UNDERSTANDS IT BETTER THAN AZIRAPHALE????? BECAUSE REMEMBER? IT USED TO BE THE OPPOSITE- ANGEL!CROWLEY WAS ALWAYS THE ULTIMATE OPTIMIST, THE ONE WHO BELIEVED HEAVEN WOULDN'T TRULY DAMN THOSE WHO ASKED QUESTIONS- AZIRAPHALE WAS THE ONE WHO WAS MORE CAUTIOUS- BUT NOW, IT'S AZIRAPHALE BLINDLY TRUSTING THE METATRON (IT'S BECAUSE HE LOVES CROWLEY SUPER FUCKING MUCH, BTW, FOLKS) AND CROWLEY'S THE ONE WHO'S LITERALLY DYING BECAUSE HE KNOWS. HE. KNOWS. AZIRAPHALE HAS NEVER BEEN NAIVE- NOT IN THE WAY CROWLEY HAD ONCE BEEN- BUT LOVE HAS BLINDED HIM-

oh, and i forgot to mention: THE FUCKING LIP TOUCH AZIRAPHALE DOES AFTERWARDS-

AND THE WAY HE PAUSES AND HESITATES AND THEN FAKES A SMILE SAYING HE DOESN'T NEED TO BRING ANYTHING WHEN WE ALL KNOW EXACTLY WHAT HE MEANS TO SAY

AND ALSO CROWLEY SAYING THAT HE NEEDED TO STAY AND TAKE CARE OF THE BOOKSHOP INSTEAD OF HIMSELF- AND NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT, WHEN METATRON SAYS MURIEL WILL TAKE CARE OF THE SHOP, HE MIGHT NOT REALISE IT HIMSELF, BUT MURIEL WILL ALSO PROBABLY TAKE CARE OF CROWLEY- IDK, MAYBE I'M JUST SPIRALLING OK-

god, if only they fucking talked-

Michael Sheen and David Tennant owe me oh so many things... someone pass it on to them, please, thanks.

[altruistic-meme]

Abram i was curious and i don’t think i’ve asked you this before, what are some of your favorite aftg fics? you know one of mine will always be yours (wit)jitp but… what are your faves???

-miels ����✨

hiii miels my beloved <3<3 i am always down to share some favorite fics >:D

(side note: for a lot of these, i actually am not fully caught up with them due to my shifting hyperfocus meaning i wasn't reading them when they updated, so it generally goes without saying that i am planning on rereading and catching up on these all!)

Scared to Live (But I'm Scared to Die) by Major_816 this is my #1 favorite fic and i will scream it's praises until the day i die. it's so so good. i am wayyyy overdue for a reread, especially since it's got a sequel that i haven't started yet, but alas that will have to wait until next month. i will say though that it is DEFINITELY not for the light of heart. it is very trigger heavy and dark, and it still holds place as the only fic i've ever read that i have had to set it down and step away from it because of one scene. the tags on the fic itself don't say much about this, but i can always go into further detail if you want :) (as much as i can remember, anyway ;; or once i actually do my reread)

Flavors of Fall by NikNak22 i know i've mentioned Flavors of Fall in the past because i will always credit it for inspiring me to experiment with the way i write!! especially when it comes to (wit)jitp!! the limited pov in (wit)jitp is a direct result of this fic!! but the fic itself is SO WELL WRITTEN it makes me lose my mind. it's my perfect type of cozy tbh. i remember following along with the updates to the point where even my MOM knew what day it updated on bc i wouldn't shut up about it skdhvskhd

Promise of an Unbroken Boy by elesary this fic hhhhhhhhh this is probably my MOST reread fic bc every time it updates i reread it!! mostly as a reminder of where it left off but also it's just so enjoyable every single time around that rereading it is a joy every single time (i am also currently rereading it!!) this fic actually also has a scene that i usually skip over bc of graphic details, not half as bad as the scene in Scared to Live, i just have already read it and can skip it since i know what happens now this is also one of the fics that i know has influenced my writing! it was a while ago now, but i remember rereading this before and going "hey this wording is familiar" only to discover i had mirrored this story in my own stories!

the upper hand by plantelty i don't remember a lot of the plot of this one (alas it's been quite a while ;;) but i remember it having these very calm sort of dark vibes? not dark like Dark but it just felt like the type of story that takes place in the twilight hours. idk. it makes me smile. not quite as chaotic as some other fics (i will cry when we finally get the final chapter)

The Butcher's House by Fire_Bear ghost neil ghost neil ghost neil i love love love the mystery and story-telling in this one. it has set such a high precedent for ghost aus for me.

i think i will leave it here ;;; like i said, i am in the process of going through and rereading most (if not all) of these fics right now bc i've missed updates so i am SO down to talk about them

[sarcasticorgasms]

call me crazy but i REALLY enjoyed the ending of good omens s2! (spoilers below the cut)

OKAY crowley points this out when he tells gabriel to jump out the window, but aziraphale didnt actually witness heaven's direct cruelty to him, didnt experience first hand how willing they were to throw him away and kill him the second he disagreed with them. crowley, however, did. we dont know if they ever told each other exactly what happened, or if crowley ever told zira that gabriel had said "just shut your stupid mouth and die already." it clearly lasted with crowley, he remembers the exact words.

the choice neil made for aziraphale to not yet fully understand that "good guys" and "bad guys" arent accurate depictions of heaven and hell makes sense when you realize that he's never received the reality of being punished by them. crowley isn't naive though, he's been through this more than once, has witnessed the cult like mentality of heaven and hell and tried to help aziraphale escape. he's always tried to help zira come to his own conclusions, and usually, he at least comes to an understanding (poor people DO have less opportunities, and you're helping science!). you can feel his desperation when hes asking his angel to leave with him, both in season 1 and season 2. but that resignation in his eyes when he realizes that zira is still stuck in the cult of heaven, still cant really see in shades of grey- he knows that nothing he says or does will change zira's mind; the only thing that will change his mind is seeing first hand the cruelty and lack of compassion from heaven towards aziraphale himself.

there were so many amazing moments where they showed the lack of knowledge from heaven. the rule that they're not to visit earth, not to know too much (or anything, it seems) about humans. because someone in heaven knows that access to knowledge makes you smarter, makes you curious, makes you ask questions. whether or not thats the decision of god, or of metatron remains to be seen. but one person being in charge, who's clearly clueless but pretends to know what god wants, is classic cult leader shit. people who follow along without question, who assume that their will is good- that's what the angels are. its hard to truly hate them when you realize that they're all under the same thumb. that scene when uriel asks the metatron if they've done something wrong was kind of heart breaking, they're just children playing a game they were never told all the rules to.

what makes crowley so fascinating as a character is that he's curious, he asks questions. he's not good, he's not bad, he's just... himself. honestly, he's more human than demon in his choices. what he said about following hell as far as he can, so he can stay on his own side is just perfect- and yeah, lonely. and i cant even imagine how lonely he feels now. im obsessed with how we're shown his attempts at changing aziraphale's mind - something about him being the one to encourage aziraphale to try human food, something about him inviting aziraphale to Edinburgh to show him how poverty forces you to make morally questionable choices, that not everything is black and white - idk. it's subtle, it's allowing him to come to the same conclusion on his own, it makes me want to shovel aquarium gravel into my mouth

aziraphale, when he's away from heaven's influence, is much more morally grey, he's more himself, he's happier. but as soon as his superiors are around, he loses all sense of self. he automatically assumed he was going to fall for lying to the other angels and not killing innocent children. he knows better than to ask questions, he KNOWS that what he's asked to do is sometimes wrong, but he has this cognitive dissonance he cant get past- heaven asks him to do things that are bad, but heaven isnt bad. heaven is always good, so what theyre asking must not be bad. but, killing children is pretty objectively bad. he cant kill children. but its god's will, so he has to, it must be good. but its not. and round and round it goes. he's never actually been punished by heaven firsthand, and i think once he sees close up that heaven's will isn't necessarily god's will, and that god's will is not always benevolent, he'll realize. he'll realize that you cant always change things from the inside, that there's a systematic issue that can only be solved by dismantling the institution. god i hope season 3 is dismantling heaven.

all in all i love this ending i am SUCH a sucker for escaping cult stories (nimona and she-ra, nd stevenson i love u). like your whole life you are so sure that you're doing the right thing, and then someone comes along and turns everything upside down and asks you questions, forces you to ask questions, and you can't help but defend where you came from, surely there has to be some mistake, if you could just talk to someone higher up you're sure you could clear this whole misunderstanding up, and then that higher up tell you point blank that they know what theyre doing, they know that innocent people are getting hurt. you witness their violence firsthand, and its intentional, its directed towards YOU. because you dared to ask if what we're doing is really the right thing. and that's when you finally understand.

[moondal514]

Ok I’m going to rant about something aftg fandom-related that’s honestly not a big deal but it bothers me

TW: eating disorders

So quick note for transparency: i don’t read fics dealing with eating disorders/diet and weight angst that much cuz it’s one of the few tropes out there that I really can’t handle all of the time. Of course, there are exceptions, especially in the aftg fandom where I’ll read nearly anything if you slap an Andreil label on it. I wanna rant about some of those exceptions I’ve read, specifically something about them that I’m very bothered by. Namely, if there is a character with an eating disorder in an aftg fic…why is it usually Neil?

Like what about Neil as a character screams give this man an eating disorder? Is it just cuz he’s the main character? Is it a bad handover from the side of the fandom that likes to feminize him? Is it a fanon!Neil thing? Like truly I’m genuinely baffled by this because canonically the man eats basically anything put in front of him. I genuinely can’t recall if there’s a single moment in canon where Neil refuses to eat something (not counting his refusal to eat sweet things cuz he’s not a fan of them), so to have this whole side of the fandom that’s randomly decided to give him issues with food…why?? Does the man not have enough neuroses already?? Is all the canonical torture he gets not good enough for you?? (obligatory disclaimer: I personally hate adding trauma to Neil when he already goes through so much in canon) Like why??? Seriously. Why???

But more than that, I genuinely don’t understand why a writer would choose to explore eating disorders through Neil when there are like…so many better options of characters to do that with. Like if I were to write an eating disorder fic, Neil would probably be at the bottom of my list for characters I would center the fic around. There are just so many other characters that would to me make more canonical sense to write about having an eating disorder.

Like Allison! Hello??? It’s literally a canonical part of her backstory! Why tf would you fuck around with Neil having an eating disorder when there’s a whole ass Allison who literally had to be put in a clinic to recover right there??? You could write about her entire backstory or, if you really wanted to be angsty, write about her relapsing. That could be dramatic

Or maybe a writer wants to explore men having eating disorders, cuz it’s true the social dynamics/pressures are different for male eating disorders compared to female eating disorders. Ok then, Kevin is right there!!! Like this man is so obsessed with exy that it seeps into his eating practices. He’s so canonically super strictly diet oriented that it really wouldn’t be that much of a stretch for it to turn into disordered eating. Maybe it’s a part of his Nest trauma or something, idk

And of course, who is the character with canonically conspicuously weird eating habits? That’s right, Andrew! That habit he has of tearing up his food into tiny bits? That’s a classic eating disorder tell. When he’s on his meds, we know his diet is fucked up by them, as demonstrated by the scenes where everyone’s eating at Abby’s and Neil notices Andrew hasn’t touched his food. Andrew is a character that is both self-destructive and has control issues, a combination that would lend itself unfortunately well to an eating disorder. Simultaneously quiet self-destruction and a way to exert control over his own body, very Andrew yeah?

Maybe a writer doesn’t wanna write about the Foxes though. Maybe a writer wants to write about the Ravens. Ok. Jean motherfucking Moreau is Right. There. The guy goes through so much fucked up shit in the Nest that isn’t really greatly detailed in canon, so why not add an eating disorder to the mix?

TL;DR: I’m bothered that all the fics in this fandom that center around eating disorders seem to always be about Neil and it makes no sense cuz there are imo much better characters in aftg that are better options for writers to explore these concepts with

Disclaimer: obviously no hate to anyone who has written or does write fics where Neil has an eating disorder. I’ve read many excellent fics with that concept. I’m just trying to understand why they are so overrepresented

[spookymystery67]

I Wish I Could Walk In Heels

AN: Getting closer and closer to when Ada makes her appearance guys! I said it was slow burn and I meant it. On a seperate note, my motivation is draining and it's scaring me because I've done this shit before and have an entire other story I have yet to finish. I will not say what it is. I will try not to do that for this one.

Also. Also! Fucking Neil Newbon guys. Honestly, didn't pay much attention to him or know his name until very recently because of Astarion from Baulders Gate 3. Point is, did y'all know he played Karl Heisenberg from RE Village? Or fucking Nicholai Zinoviev from the RE3 remake? The very rude Russian dude that, spoiler, makes another appearance in this chapter? I didn't! Found that out this morning actually. Those dots did not connect! I was shocked. Dude has range. I'm impressed. And slightly jealous of his talent.

I guess I didn't pay attention because I was more of a Lady Dimitrescu girl than a Karl Heisenberg girl. Thought I finally figured out I was a lesbian too until Astarion existed. So thanks to Neil Newbon, I'm confused again.

Okay, I'm done ranting. Back to your regularly scheduled programming.

TW: Zombies, violence, fire, Nicholai, Nemesis, ect. The usual. Idk, I didn't re-read again. Sorry if I traumatize anyone. NO MINORS!

Chapter 5:

-September 28, 1998-

You both made it back to the station safely. You were out of breath, but continued to run down the stairs hurriedly to your destination.

You finally made it down the stairs and saw Carlos.

"Nice job, supercop. I'm impressed. You did good too." He added the last sentence for you and you waved him off. 

"She did most of the work." You said.

"We back in business?" Jill questioned.

"Yeah, mostly. But we need thirty to forty minutes to finish maintenance." Carlos said.

You all jumped when the shudders to your right opened. Nicholai and another U.B.C.S soldier appeared.

"Nicholai. How we doing?" Carlos asked.

"The town's crawling with those freaks. No chance of fighting our way out of the city." Nicholai said. He noticed Jill and I. "Why is she here?" He asked, pointing to Jill angrily.

"She's helping get the trains running again."

"Bad times to start carrying dead weight, friend." He made his way closer to Jill. "She's unreliable. Can't pull the trigger when it counts." 

You move to stand slightly in front of Jill, ready to fight the man if necessary.

"Hey, take it easy." Carlos tried to calm him down.

"She can't even fight her own battles. Has her pretty friend here protecting her." Nicholai said, smirking at you in a way that made your stomach curl in disgust.

"If anything, I'm protecting you from her." You scoffed. 

He stared at you for a moment and you raised a brow at him, challenging him. He tsked. "She'll get you killed." He finished, walking away.

"Sorry about that. Everyones a little worked up." Carlos said. You shrugged.

You all jumped when you heard a loud bang. You sighed, already knowing what it meant.

"Awe come on. Not again." Carlos said.

Jill rushed to press the button to close the shutter gate. She crawled under and you and Carlos followed.

"It's me he's after. I'll buy you some time." Jill quickly ducked under the gate again before it fully closed. Leaving her on the side of danger and you and Carlos on the other side.

"Hey. Hey wait. Stop!" Carlos said.

"Jill no! Damn it, Jill! Don't do anything stupid!" You shouted, watching her run away from the persistent monster.

You huffed as she and the monster ran out of sight. You didn't know what to do. You can't help her with the gate blocking the way. And she clearly didn't want your help at the moment. You just hoped she would be alright.

"I have to make sure everything is prepared for when this train leaves." Carlos said.

"What do you need me to do, Carlos?" You asked, wanting to help.

"Well, if you're up for it, there's a building not far from here that has some supplies we need. Ammo and the like. We left it behind when it was our temporary safe house. If you can get them, that would be awesome."

"Sure, which building?" You asked.

"The one under construction near here. You know it?" You nodded. "It's just the one case. Not a lot, but it's something. I'll even let you take your pick of whatever you'd like. Here, take a radio. I'll let you know when we are ready to leave. You'll hear Jill too if she calls." He said, handing you a radio.

"Like a three way call. Got it. I'll be back." You told him, making your way out of the station through a different exit.

-September 28, 1998-

You made it to the building a while later, finding the case of ammo, first aid and food supplies that could be useful. You pocketed some of the handgun and shotgun ammo and a single first aid kit. You also took a couple clean water bottles and granola bars, before shutting the case and turning to leave.

"Carlos. Can you hear me now?" Jill asked over the radio. You quickly grabbed the radio with your free hand.

"Jill? Oh thank god. Everything okay?" Carlos asked.

"Yeah, I'm alive. I lost him." She said through the speaker.

"Jill, you're okay! I told you not to do anything stupid, you stupid woman." You scolded her, tying the case to your backpack. It's a little heavy even though it's not that big, but you will make do.

"Relax. He's gone. For the moment at least? Where are you?" She asked.

"Gathering supplies the U.B.C.S left behind in some building under construction. I was about to leave." You said.

"Great. The subway's ready to go. We'll leave as soon as you two make it back." Carlos said.

"Sound's good." You said. But Jill remained silent. You hoped she was okay.

Just as you thought that, Jill came running through the opened shudder door. She tried shutting it, but flames made her back up. You quickly ran up and kicked it fully shut.

"Y/n!" She yelled, surprised you're there.

"Jill! Run!" You grabbed her arm and started running.

"It can use weapons?" You asked as you ran.

"I just found that out." Jill answered.

"Where did it get a flamethrower?"

"No idea."

You both made it to a yellow ladder and you climbed up first. As Jill was starting to climb, the monster found her and began shooting the flamethrower. Jill barely escaped unscathed as you quickly pulled her up.

"Thanks." She gasped.

"Don't mention it."

You both run up the stairs, having nowhere to go but up. As you passed a set, the monster used its tentacles to grapple up through the gaps in the floor, scaring both you and Jill. You and Jill moved quicker. Continuing to run through the construction sight, over temporary planks used as bridges and carefully avoiding the flames being shot at you.

You jumped over a gap and realized the flames were spreading quickly. You need to get out of here. 

The flames licked your back as you climbed and made you feel sweaty from the heat. You jumped over another gap and waited for Jill. She too jumped, but the plank gave out and you quickly grabbed her hands and pulled her up, preventing her from plummeting to a fiery, painful death.

Another set of ladders, this time making Jill go first as she is clearly more danger prone at the moment. You both finally made it to the roof, jumping down from the temporary structure onto concrete.

As you both landed, the monster crashed through the roof and landed in front of you. You sighed and grabbed your shotgun.

"You don't suppose that this will do much, do you?" You asked Jill.

"No, but this might." She said, holding up her new weapon.

"Is that a grenade launcher?" You asked incredulously.

"Yup, found it in the sewers." 

"Ah, that explains the smell." You joked. She glared playfully and gave you the middle finger, before focusing on the matter at hand.

"Alright, let's do this." Jill said. You both dodged a stream of flames shot at you, hiding behind piles of construction materials.

"How about you distract it and I shoot the tank on its back?" You suggested, assuming it would explode like those red barrels lying around.

"Good thinking." She nodded in agreement. 

Jill distracted the creature, avoiding flames and shooting generators to stun it as you aimed your shotgun at its back where the fuel tank sat. You eventually succeeded at getting the tank to blow up. The creature was now on fire, but somehow still alive.

And even more pissed off.

"It's still kicking?" Jill asked incredulously.

"Maybe you should use your special grenade launcher." You suggested as you dodged the creature speeding toward you, shooting a couple rounds at it.

"Yeah. Might have to." She said as the creature growled. The growl sounding like the word 'stars'.

It felt like you two did a lot of running in circles and wasted a lot of ammo to finally get that thing stunned. It fell to its front and you gasped for breath, the air incredibly hot and hard to breathe in due to the flames.

Things begun to explode and Jill tugged you to the edge of the building, pulling you off the side to slide down some slanted glass windows before you even had time to think.

You screamed as you both fell onto one of those outside elevator things that window washers use. It shakes violently and snaps on one side. You screamed again as you rolled off and Jill caught your hand to keep you from plummeting to your death, hanging on as tightly to the elevator edge as she could with your added weight. Which was a lot thanks to the bags on your back.

She looked down, and before she could even try to pull you and her up, the elevator went down lower, shaking you two off and making you land painfully on the ground below you, Jill landing on top of you and knocking the air out of you.

You noticed the elevator about to fall and quickly rolled yourself and Jill away from your spot on the ground, just barely missing it as it fell where you once lied.

You two gasped and groaned in pain, Jill still on top of you. You stared at the burning building and sighed, feeling her elbow digging sharply into your ribcage. 

"Jill, you're crushing me." Jill quickly rolled off of you.

"Sorry." She panted, trying to calm her rapid heart.

"It's fine." You noticed that your back was touching the solid ground and sat up. "Where are my bags?" 

Jill pointed to where your bags had somehow come off in the process of the fall. You slowly stood, groaning in pain from your left shoulder and torso area. And your legs. And pretty much your whole body. You had been badly beaten up the last few weeks and the pain meds are clearly wearing off.

"Next time you want to jump off a building, a little heads up would be nice." You jested weakly as you limped to your bags.

"There wasn't any time. Sorry." Jill said, joining you on her feet.

"It's alright. You saved me by doing that. And we're alive, so I'll call that a win." You said. You both started to make your way out to the street, slightly limping due to pain.

Jill took out her radio. "Carlos, it's Jill. Do you read me?" She gasped out.

"Loud and clear. You alright? I can't get a hold of Y/n." He asked. As you were checking your pockets to make sure the drive was still there, which it was, you pulled out your radio from your back pocket and saw that it was broken.

"She's fine, she's with me. She just broke her radio. And the bastards' dead." She finished.

"Good. Fuck him." You snorted at his simple response. "But what were you thinking? Turning yourself into bait? You could have been killed."

Jill sighed. "Don't start. I did what I had to."

"I know. And uh…thanks." Carlos said. "The subway's ready to go. Hurry back." He finished.

You and Jill started forward, doing the usual dodge and kill with any zombie that game near you. You realized the area you were in was near the police station and made a mental note to make it back after you saw Jill off.

"Hey, wait. I wanna check something out real quick, okay?" Jill said, pointing to the "Gun Shop Kendo" sign.

"Alright." You agreed. She'd know this area considering this was right next to her place of work. Maybe she knew Kendo.

You walked into the building with her in the lead. As you explored, you jumped when a man in a yellow plaid shirt jumped out from behind a wall with a shotgun.

"Don't move!" He paused in recognition. "Shit, Jill." He said, putting the gun down. He noticed you, but determined you weren't a threat since you were with Jill.

"Kendo. You're alright."

"Yeah, well, alrights a stretch. Who's your friend?" He asked, seemingly a little nervous.

"Y/n, this is Kendo, the owner of the shop. Kendo, Y/n. She's been helping me." She explained.

"Hey. Nice to meet you." You said with a wave.

"Nice to meet you. Sorry I got a little jumpy there. Didn't know quite what to expect." He frantically looked around for any signs of something.

"No shit. Look, we're using the subway to get people out of town. You in?" Jill asked him.

"Subway. Well…that's good thinking." He glanced at a door in the far back, seemingly in thought.

"When we get out there's gonna be a lot to do. We could use a man of your skillset." As she said that, he continued to stare at the door, debating something in his head. Jill tapped his shoulder to get his attention.

"What's wrong?" She asked.

"Nothing. Just uh…just bad timing is all." He seemed almost worried. Were we too late for something? "Look uh, don't worry about me. I'm gonna make other arrangements. Okay?"

"You better. You're the best gunsmith around." Jill said.

"Oh no." He laughed nervously.

"Don't do anything stupid." Jill said sternly.

"Oh that's-that's your job right? Take care, Jill." He said, walking to the back and through the door he was staring at before, you assumed it was his current hideout.

"If you're heading to the station, take that service alley out in front of the shop, okay? The key's hanging on the wall." He shouted from behind the door.

Jill nodded, and after one final glance at the door, she turned to grab the key hanging on the wall.

"Alright. Let's go." She said, leading you out the front and to the service alley gate. She unlocked the door and you pulled out your shotgun, shooting one of the mutated zombies with something parasitic on their head, killing it instantly.

"Nice shot. Your aim is getting better." Jill praised.

"Thank you kindly." You joked with a country accent, curtsying like people used to do in the olden days. That's what the movies told you anyways.

"Pfft, last time I will compliment you." Jill snorted, amused with your behavior.

You laughed and walked through the back door to someone's house. Was it Kendo's house? Whose house was it?

You shot another zombie with a parasite on its head, hitting directly on the orange eyeball, making it explode and die.

You searched the house for anything useful, finding a couple explosive rounds and handing them to Jill. You didn't think you were ready for anything like that. Plus, her weapon was the only one compatible with the rounds.

Finished with the house, you walked through the front door and out onto the street. This street, like all the others, was ruined and filled with debris and wooden fence blocks. Once again. Too quiet. You followed Jill, as she seemed to know where she was going.

Before you could make it any further, an object on fire suddenly fell from the sky right in front of your path. Clearly thrown by something. You and Jill turned and saw that, once again, the creature was there. Alive and still on fire. It carried a fancy box that looked like something Umbrella would use to hold something high tech.

Oh, it's Umbrella. Duh, Y/n. They sent this thing to kill all S.T.A.R.S members in the city. No wonder why it's so persistent in killing Jill. You felt stupid for not making the connection sooner. Maybe the lack of sleep was getting to your brain.

The creature slammed the box to the ground and it opened. It pulled out a, what was, IS THAT A ROCKET LAUNCHER? And it had a light pointer on it to help aim. Fancy.

"Rocket launcher, really?" Jill exclaimed.

"Fucking bullshit! Pardon my language!" You grabbed her hand and pulled her to a run, miraculously avoiding any rocket that was aimed in your direction.

You turned the alley, avoiding a zombie as you had no time to even glance in its direction, let alone kill it. The creature ran towards you, clearly not in the mood for taunting with slow walking anymore.

You dodged and Jill aimed her grenade launcher at the rocket launcher, shooting it and stopping a rocket from hitting us. It briefly distracted the creature and you took that to your advantage to get more distance.

A rocket hit a car in front of you, causing it to flip in the air, making you and Jill jump out of the way, landing harshly on the ground. You both gasped in pain and Jill's radio went off, signaling Carlos trying to get a hold of the two of you.

Jill stood up and answered the radio. "Jill, are you two okay?" He asked.

"Carlos, that monster on my ass again!" Jill exclaimed.

"Are you shitting me? I thought you killed it!" Carlos said.

"Me too!" She exclaimed as the monster landed on a truck not too far from us. It was taking the height advantage to get a better aim at us with its seemingly endless amounts of rockets.

"How many rockets does that thing have?" You asked.

"I don't know, why don't you ask him?" Jill snarked as you both dodged another rocket aimed at the two of you still running.

"No, I'm good." You told her.

You weaved through cars on the street, getting cut off by another rocket in front of you making the area ahead burst into flames. You looked over just as another rocket aimed at the two of you hit the road, just nearly missing you two, but knocking you off the side of the street.

You and Jill managed to land near each other, yelling in pain as the hard surface of the street scraped your skin and made you bruise.

You gasped and sat up as fast as you could, taking in your surroundings. Let's see, there's really only one way to go. The entire street is blocked by debris on fire so you'll have to climb up the stairs on the side of the building.

"You good?" You asked Jill, offering her a hand up.

"No." She gasped, taking your outreached hand and using you for stability for a moment.

"Great. Come on, up the stairs." You said. Still holding her hand, you dragged her to the stairs of the temporary build on the side of the building. 

You walked the long, wooden, walkway and reached a ladder. "Are you good to climb?" 

"Yeah. You?" She asked, noticing your slight limp.

"Barley. After you." You tell her.

She does as you said and you kept watch for any monsters or rockets. When the ladder was clear, you climbed up after her. You took a right and jumped to the roof of the building next to you. The radio went off once more.

"Jill, you there? I think I know how to slow that fucker down. Head back towards the station." Carlos's voice sounded through the speaker.

"And lead him right to you?" Jill asked incredulously.

"It's okay, trust me." He said. Jill sighed and shut the radio off.

"I guess we're going to the station." She told you.

"Okay then. Lead the way." You said.

You made your way down the building and to a street full of shops. One shop being the "Toy Uncle" with a giant statue of a head of a mustached guy on top of the building.

You ran up the stairs toward the Toy Uncle. As you did you saw a rocket fly toward the head, knocking it right off and making it roll down stairs toward the two of you.

"This is insane." Jill sighed tiredly, pulling you to run away from the head taking up the whole street. It would surely crush you if you get too close.

You quickly ducked back into the alley you came from and the head slowed to a stop. You maneuver around it and head back up the stairs toward the Toy Uncle. You take a right and see a dead end. You take another right and see a gated alleyway. The gate was, luckily, unlocked and you ran through it.

You took a left and saw Carlos up ahead.

"Jill! Y/n! This way!" He yelled, beckoning you to take a right and follow him.

You made it to a gas station when a rocket launcher exploded at your feet. Sending you and Jill sprawling on the ground for what felt like the millionth time that's night. You quickly stood and pulled Jill with you, taking a left around the corner.

Once the creature made the same turn, a bomb lit up with a red light and exploded near it, knocking the monster into a military truck.

Carlos came up behind you two. "Hey, you okay?" He asked.

You and Jill looked at the creature, which was now back to its feet. "Go. GO!" Carlos yelled.

You two started to take off as Carlos tried shooting it with his machine gun. You both paused.

"Come on! Forget about him!" Jill yelled.

Carlos grunted and ran after you two. You made it to a building and Jill pressed the button closing the metal shutters. Carlos shot a gas truck before it closed and made it explode, rolling under the shutters just as it shut to block the explosion.

The shutters dented inwards from the impact of something. You assumed the monster. Carlos stood. "Come on. Let's get out of here." He said. You both nodded in agreement and began making your way to the subway platform.

"Carlos. I know we didn't get off to a great start, but, thanks for the save." Jill said.

"Yeah, thanks Carlos. That was awesome of you." You said.

"Hey, you saved my ass first. You're a hell of a lot braver than me. So don't mention it. You have the case?" He asked you.

"Yeah, please take it. My back is aching from the weight." You said, handing him the case.

"Could also be from being thrown onto concrete and walls over the last few hours." Jill added.

"Hey, that could be it." You laughed weakly.

"Well, what matters is we can get everyone out of the city now." Jill said.

"Yeah. You'll both be safe." Carlos said.

"What about you?" She asked.

"From the sound of it. I won't be catching the train."

"Why not?" You asked.

"There'll be new orders. If it means I can help save the city, that's fine by me." 

Damn, he's probably the nicest man from Umbrella that you've met so far.

You finally reached the train and walked up to Mikhail and another man. Mikhail turned and saw Jill.

"Good work. Your reputation is well deserved. Get inside. The train is about to leave." He turned to Carlos and the other man. "Carlos, Tyrell, you have your orders. You need to go back out into the city and find Nathaniel Bard."

You perked up at the name. The same Nathaniel Bard that Irons and the Senator befriended. The guy who works for Umbrella. Why do they need him? Is there a cure for all this he was working on?

"This isn't the last ride out of town, right?" Jill questioned from near the train door.

"Do not worry. Once the civilians are safe the train will be back." Mikhail said.

"It's alright, you two go on ahead. I'm not gonna die on you and leave you in a cold, cruel, Carlos-less world." He joked.

You huffed a weak laugh. "Now would be a good time to mention that I'm not leaving." You said as you leaned against the train by the door where Jill stood.

"Why not?" Carlos questioned.

"Well, like you, I have a mission of my own. Something I've already put off for too long. Hopefully I'm not too late." You said.

"You know, he might not be alive anymore. You might not be able to get out once this train leaves." Jill said with a furrowed brow, worried. She didn't want you to go back out there alone.

Your chest ached at the thought of leaving her alone, but you had to go back. You had to see if your friend was alright.

"I'll be fine. Maybe when this is all over we can find each other and have that sleepover we talked about." You joked. "Now, give me a hug before I go. I'm not usually one for hugging, but I think you've earned it super cop." 

She snorted and put her arms around you. "The flash drive is in your front pocket. Don't lose it." You whispered in her ears, having to tiptoe slightly to reach. She nodded and you gave her a tight squeeze, before letting go. 

"Take care of yourself. If I find out you died, I'll kill you." You pointed at her.

"Pfft, yeah. Okay. Take care, Y/n." After one last smile was shared between you two, she turned and made her way into the train.

You turned to the other three. "Okay. Nice meeting you three. I'll see you around, Carlos."

"You gonna find me too?" He joked. 

"If you want me to. Maybe you can join the sleepover." You chuckled at his confused face, before walking away with one final wave.

"You'll need to find this scientist. His vaccine research could save us all." You heard Mikhail say as you walked away.

You didn't have time to focus on that Nathaniel Bard man. You had to get to the police station.

Hopefully you weren't too late.

[thesherrinfordfacility]

Hello bestie! Thank you for letting me live react and scream into your ear like a feral beast lmao. So, I’ve seen people concerned that season 3 might have trouble getting greenlit and I was wondering whether or not as a fandom we can collectively make sure it does? Like, I know rewatching season 2 will obviously help (how can we not, anyway? THERE’S GOING TO BE SO MUCH TO ANALYZE) but would buying extra copies of the books help, too?

aaaaah hi bestie!!✨✨ no worries at all, i loved screaming into everyone's chats like the feral beast i was 12 hours ago lmaoooo💀

oh gosh i think this one is a little above my pay grade!!! I don't work for prime or anything so im definitely not an expert!!! re: the book, sincerely doubt it to be honest, bc id imagine that prime makes no money from that, so we'd have to do our Damnedest from the show side of things!!!

i honestly do not think, given the collective reaction from s2, that s3 will have any issues getting greenlit, i think when Neil's talked about it he's just tempering our expectations???... this surely has to be making prime a LOT of dollar (1 point for capitalism but also 1 point for us wanting s3💀), but there is no harm in really driving the point home, especially when you have the added context of the strikes!!!

i guess it would just be up to everyone individually to watch s2 as much as possible (HIGHLY doubt this will be a problem for any of us lmao), but you never know... maybe once the dust settles, we can get together and organise watch parties en force to do a marathon, or watch an episode a week? idk, just spit-balling.

it would be ideal to get an idea of a timeframe from neil as to when the mystical 'deadline' for a s3 greenlight will be, so we can get the views in before then, but i think he already would have done so if there was one!!! and presumably he needs to still write it all out, pitch it, then prime look at how much money it made them/the reach s2 had? idk maybe he'll see this and give us something to work with🥰 or we just need to wait for him to give us the heads-up!!!

[m4ndysk4nkovich]

Debbie's coming-out storyline is so cute and wholesome. I mean, besides Alex being emotionally detached, Debbie moves past that and takes it well all things considered.

I did have a laugh last night about Ian being insistent that Debbie is not a lesbian. I had a thought, like what if it was him being protective of his spot as the gay sibling?

"No Debbie, I'm the gay Gallagher. I already have to share being the red-headed one."

Oh Ian, just wait until you realize Debbie is also mentally ill. (This is more a personal headcanon. But I think Debbie does have a disorder. It's just not as apparent as Ian's so it flies under the radar)

ok anon whoever you are ily this made me so fucking excited because i have so much to say about this LMAO

idk if i’m taking this too seriously, but ian’s reaction pissed me the fuck off. and what you said about him being protective of his spot was fucking hilarious because that is probable😭😭

i hated how debbie went without support after coming out, and i hate how the fandom sides with ian. ian’s my favorite character but he was 100% in the wrong. yeah, he was doing bad mentally. yeah, debbie has had a lot of phases in the past. but imagine seeking support from your favorite sibling who you figured would understand this, but he simply responds with “no you’re not”. like that’s so shitty don’t even.

and debbie has never had support- ever! she grew up with no support system, and during her pregnancy she had no support except for fucking frank. plus (almost) no support with the house.

and debbie’s whole coming out story is wholesome and beautiful, anon. maybe i’m just going insane and taking everything too seriously because i’m a lesbian, but it was seriously wonderful and one of my favorite things that the writers decided to do in season 9 (because they did a lot of stupid shit that season).

i know that debbie’s lesbianism wasn’t intended from the start, and that it was supposed to be for fiona, but lesbianism really fits debbie’s character and i’m so tired of hearing people call debbie “bi” or “straight going through a phase”. no, she’s a lesbian.

from her relationship with holly, ellie, mandy, really everybody, she was so clearly a lesbian. every piece of advice she recieved it was clear that she wasn’t asking about “how to tell if you like a guy” or “how to have sex with a guy” it was more “why don’t i like guys yet” “teach me how to like guys”

she never liked matty, she liked him being older. she never liked derek, she liked the possibility of being a mother. she never liked neil, she just wanted a house.

or how she knew about how lesbian sex worked in season 1?? like that’s so out of pocket for an ten/eleven year old girl to be saying (and something that i, a lesbian, would’ve said at that age😭), or getting bullied and being called a “lesbo” as a kid for staring at the pretty girls??

sorry i’m getting off topic

i also totally believe debbie has some sort of mental illness. specifically a personality disorder or something like that.

many people believe she has bpd (borderline personality disorder), and i don’t have it so i’m not one to talk, but it does fit her. idk.

also some people headcanon her as autistic and the evidence i’ve seen for that checks out.

i dunno man she’s got something and i wish we got to learn more about debbie regarding her mentality.

[play-exy-be-sexy]

genre of books the foxes read

Neil:

why would neil want to read when he could be playing exy?

no, the only books neil read are textbooks

and books about exy plays and strategies

it drives andrew mad.

he’s been trying to find a book that neil will read for years

hasn’t happened yet

Andrew:

it’s fanon knowledge Andrew loves reading.

i think andrew reads all types of books

his favorite genre is like deep fiction books.

ones that make you think ya know?

examples: ishmael, secret history, idk i don’t read books like that

when he doesn’t want to think too hard he reads cheesy mysteries

he always solves the cases before the people in the book

he’s also a whore for sad gay romance books

and psychology books

give andrew a book and he’ll probably read it

he also has read like all the classics

he had a good hs english teacher but we won’t talk about that rn

random note but andrew is a potterhead...

Kevin:

we already know what Kevin reads but i’ll elaborate

Kevin loves history books

fiction and nonfiction

give him a mythology retelling and he’ll love you forever

or just mythology in general

i’m a firm believer kevin’s studying ancient greece and rome in college

but he also likes all mythology

he’s very fascinated in asian mythology too

when he learns he’s native american(wymack had to tell him because the raven refused to acknowledge it) he takes a few native american lit classes and really enjoys learning about those myths and history

he loves coyote stories and creation myths

also he could go on for hours about how the us constitution is based on the iroquois league constitution.

he’s read it like five hundred times. it’s so pretty

he also likes books about certain people from history.

recent and long ago

like the ones that go over someone’s whole life ya know?

i have one about john lennon that he definitely read

kevin has always really enjoyed reading but never really does it

so when he starts to learn the life isn’t all about exy, you can find him reading constantly

the foxes make fun of him but they are actually really proud

Aaron:

you think aaron has time to read for fun as a pre med college athlete?

hell no

the only things he read are ones about microbiology and anatomy

and not by choice

he doesn’t even have a specific genre he likes because he’s never had the opportunity to explore genres. sad but true...

Nicky:

give nicky allllll the gay chick flick rom com books

he refuses to read anything serious

ever

all he wants is happy summer reads where the characters end up together

all fluff

but only contemporary. he doesn’t like fantasy or anything

if the main character isn’t hot. he doesn’t want it

andrews’s all reading “the mental health crisis in predominantly white countries”

and nickys over there with heart stopper

he’s not ashamed(and he shouldn’t be)

Renee:

renee is very similar to andrew

she reads all stuff

but she really likes fantasy books

especially like ya/middle school ones

she didn’t really get to read them when she was a teen so she want to catch up

but she also reads newer ones

the raven cycle, simon snow triology, grishaverse. all the basics.

she also reads a lot of the same as nicky.

but maybe sadder? sometimes.

and finally books about like inner peace and happiness amd all that

how to befriend trees

gardening books even though she doesn’t have a garde

ya know peacecore-y stuff

Allison:

smut

it has to be sexy

like bad

acotar

bridgerton

fucking wattpad

fairy porn

mafia shit

idk what else

yeah, it appalls the others

and she can just like read it with a straight face in PUBLIC

“whatcha reading, Ali?”

*looks over her shoulder*

“HE DID QHAT TO WHO?”

allison proceeds to explain in detail

the team is concerned for her mental well being sometimes

she doesn’t give a fuck

Dan:

she likes easy reads

nothing that makes her think too hard but things she can enjoy

she reads for fun and to relax

unironically reads murder mysteries

andrew gives her side eyes all the time

historical fiction

like 1700-1800 royalty stuff

lots of ya

just whatever looks good at the bookstore really

definitely judges books by covers

same tho

she’s not picky

as long as it’s easyish

she doesn’t really like series tho

she wants to read one book and be done

Matt:

matt reads sport fiction

i’m sorry but it’s true

he doesn’t really read that much

he’d much rather play video games or watch a movies

but when he does it’s about sports

he was the boy in hs who REFUSED to read so their parent bought them a book about michael jordan thinking they might read it

and they do. and then it’s the only book they read for five years

yeah that’s matt

and we love that for him

[ladylannisterxo]

That bothers me more than it should when everything involves Billy Hargrove.. Like I know he's a controversial character which is definitely something I enjoyed about this character. Not because of how Dacre's appearance is - him being attractive is a bonus to be, but I enjoyed him as a character because of how Dacre brought this character to life. Any other time unexplained events happened to people, the group helps those people. But Billy? No. They'd rather just kill him every chance they had.

Woof. I popped OFF with this ask so I'm throwing it all under the cut because I just. couldn't. help. myself!

Hard agree. Like 1000%. I have only ever been able to watch S3 the one time all the way through because each time I try to do a rewatch, I get SO frustrated over how little everyone seems to care about him.

And it's funny cause like when I first saw S2 and he rolled up all 'rock you like a hurricane' style, I barely batted an eye. I was more preoccupied with Steve cause let's face it, S2 is a GREAT season for Steve. Hell, S2 is a great season all around. But then I convinced a friend to watch the show and I got a chance to do a rewatch of S2 and what's so incredibly fascinating is that when you watch it the first time around, you're like, "yeah, this guy's a dick" and you side with Max hella hard because why wouldn't you? But then the Duffers gave us that scene with Neil and when you go back and rewatch KNOWING that that scene is going to come back around, EVERYTHING he does up until that point starts to make sense and you're left with that feeling of 'Oh'.

I think the biggest problem, especially with antis, is that they view Billy as such a black and white character, very surface level but you just can't do that with him. He's not a dick just to be a dick, he's a dick because that's what has been ingrained in him since, most likely, day one. I mean, let's think about it, Billy has probably never known a moment of peace, not even when his mom was still around. Neil wanted to make sure Billy was a rough and tough boy; the biggest, meanest, scariest, loudest thing in the room and if he ever fell short of that then he was worthless. But, of course, he could only be those things OUTSIDE his household because inside, well, respect and responsibility and all that jazz. Very contradicting of Neil if I do say so myself.

And this is why I think the Duffers really screwed up with his character because had they not gave us that scene with Neil in S2, it's possible that Billy would have been just "that dick" that was there to cause problems but they made him relatable, they made him a deeper character and I'll tell you, not understanding why a parent (mother or father) doesn't love you the right way or accept you for who you are is one of the HARDEST things you can go through as a kid. Especially because you spend SO much time walking on eggshells and trying to understand what it is YOU'RE doing wrong when in reality, it's not you, it's 100% them. And it takes years to fully understand that and so killing Billy the way they did in S3 just destroyed his character arc and he never got a chance to grow and "redeem" himself (if you will) which antis have such a fun time yelling about but it's like, how can he grow and redeem himself when he's not given a chance?

We don't know really what happened in between S2 and S3 so it's hard to say how he grew as a character but by the end of the first episode of S3, he's already taken by the Mind Flayer and then that's it for him for the entire season. And then with just a little love and some kind words, he's able to break free and sacrifice himself to stop a monster from hurting another kid, like the way he's been hurt his entire life. Idk, I just don't understand how anyone expects him to be perfect when the Duffers didn't even utilize him to his fullest potential. It was such a waste of a potentially fantastic character arc (one that could have rivaled Steve's had they done it right) but it was also a waste of Dacre's talent. I mean, the man BROUGHT it in S3.

Tsk smh... anyway, we love and support Billy Hargrove on this blog. This got out of hand but I had THOUGHTS and EMOTIONS and ahhhhhhhh!!! Will never be over how DIRTY they did my boy!!

[simonsrosebud]

what is kevin and betsy like? does he take therapy seriously or act more like neil?

(idk how therapy actually works since ive never gone so idk how accurate his sessions w betsy are okay bye)

kevin takes his therapy seriously, yes.  

at first he doesn’t, when he first comes to psu.  he’s too scared to tell betsy anything bc if she tells anyone then kevin is doomed.

but when riko is killed, he starts taking it seriously.  it’s the main reason why his anxiety is amplified and his panic attacks and nightmares become more frequent.  betsy is working through his trauma with him and bringing much of it back to the surface.

when kevin first meets dalton he knows he likes him.  but he still isn’t ready to tell anyone, not even betsy.

unfortunately for him, she’s really good at her job.

“i want to bring the conversation back to this boy, dalton, that you said you’ve been hanging out with.  he’s your friend?”

something like that.

“yeah, he’s a friend.”

“that’s good, that you’ve made friends outside the team.  how did you meet him?  i notice you’ve been bringing him up a lot lately.”

kevin kneads his hands in his lap.  of course he’d make that mistake.  “i was doing homework at starbucks, and he helped me with math and then asked for my number.”  she nods.  “now we hang out a lot.  mainly at his place.  i don’t want andrew and neil to scare him off.”

she nods again.  “what exactly do you think they’d do?”

kevin shrugs.  “i-i don’t know.  but they’d get in my business and probably tell nicky or matt who would tell the whole team, and then they’d be all in my business,” he keeps going when betsy’s face changes an inch.  just contemplating his words, but he reads into it.  “-and i don’t need that right now.  dalton doesn’t even really know that i’m famous.  it’s too soon, and i can’t be outed to the public, it’ll ruin me.”

he only seems to realize what he’s said when betsy starts talking.  “can’t be outed in what way, kevin?”  he stammers.  “i have a feeling you didn’t mean to tell me that, but is dalton really just a friend?”

kevin’s heart is beating out of his chest.  he digs his fingers into his leg.  “no.”

but betsy hasn’t batted an eye.  “that’s okay.  do you want to talk about it?  you’re clamming up.  take some deep breaths, you know i wouldn’t tell a soul if that’s what you’re worried about.”

he pulls his knees to his chest and drops his head.  fuck.  no one was supposed to know, not anytime soon, anyhow.

he composes himself, but doesn’t move.  “i… like guys.”  he lifts his head.  “and girls, but…” he looks away.  “i’ve been seeing dalton, more than just friends.”

betsy is smiling, softly.  “that’s good, kevin.  i know aren’t ready to tell the others, but you shouldn’t be embarrassed.  not with me, anyhow.”  he shrugs.  “would you like to talk more about dalton or move along?”

he shrugs again.  after a minute, wraps his arms around his knees.  “he’s twenty-four, he’s a grad student...  he didn’t have any clue who i was when he met me, i still haven’t really told him a lot.”

“that’s alright.  things take time.  i know you have trouble lettings new people in, and sometimes with physical touch, are there any problems there that you’d like to discuss?”

kevin glares at her, “i’m not talking about our relationship.”

she backs off with an easy nod.  she does a lot of that.  maybe that’s why she works.

somehow, betsy eventually cracks kevin on talking in depth about his relationship with dalton.  she hears all about it when andrew finds out, then when allison finds out, then when nicky finds out.

when the foxes play never have i ever with dalton.  that was a fun one.

“i’m not taking their side, i’m just asking, but do you think perhaps they could have been trying to get to know him and see if he’s all clear?”

he scoffs.  “if they were they’ve got a fucked way of doing that.  they got him plastered.”

“he didn’t have to keep drinking.  from what i’m hearing.”

“he wanted to impress them, he’d never met them before.”  he crosses his arms.

“did you try to tell him to stop drinking?  was it the drinking that really upset you or that your friends were trying to get answers out of him.”

he frowns.  “second one- but it wasn’t just answers.  they went further than just never have i ever dated kevin, they brought up things like wymack and me having to get blacked out to get my tattoo covered, and… i don’t know, sensitive stuff.”  the yakuza.  “it wasn’t okay.”

“did you express this to them?”  he nods.  “you weren’t ready for dalton to know those kinda of things about you, yet.”  he nods and looks away.

“stop reading my brain,” he mumbles.  betsy takes it with a smile, but he’d be lying if he weren’t a tad annoyed about it.  he didn’t think he was this transparent.  

or again, maybe she’s just that good at her job.

contrary to popular belief, saying i love you for the first time didn’t mean that saying it again became easy all of a sudden.  not for kevin.  not for maybe two weeks, until he can get used to dalton saying it more and more.

he talks to betsy about it, just barely.  despite everything he’s told her already, there’s something about this that he’s too embarrassed by.

the only reason he tells dalton is because he wakes up in his bed, sweating and panting in the middle of the night.  the first thing he does is squint his eyes and look for dalton in the dark, and takes a breath when he sees him stir.  he’s still here.  he didn’t leave you.  stop being delusional.

his hands are fists in the sheets, and he presses himself back against the headboard.  you’re fine.

but he still jumps a little when dalton sits up.  “hey,” his voice is groggy, and he rubs his eyes.  he almost reaches for kevin, too, but stops.  “hey, kev.  it’s d, baby, you’re okay.”

“i know,” he whispers.  “i’ll be right back.”

he steps out of bed, hands shaking, and zips across the room to the bathroom.  it’s dark, okay?

he braces himself against the sink.  “get yourself together.”  he splashes water onto his face.  it doesn’t help.  he’s just wet, now.

he leans back against the wall and slides to the floor.  here’s his dilemma.  there’s a part of him that loves dalton more than life itself, he thinks.  and by a part of him he means all of him.

so why is he so scared of it?  of saying it freely, or without a second thought?  he’s never done this before.  he doesn’t know how it’s supposed to be, he just doesn’t understand why he so scared that he’ll get used to saying it and one day be reject-

oh.

dalton is up on his phone when he leaves the bathroom, and turns it off when he crawls back into the bed.  “are you okay?”

“i’m fine,” he says.

“kev”

kevin tucks his hands into the comforter and balls his fists.  “um, i had a dream that you left,” he mumbles. “i know it’s stupid, i just had a moment, it’s whatever-“

“no, it’s not stupid.  i’ve had the same dream before… s’why i said i love you the first time, actually.”

kevin purses his lips.  he can just barely see dalton’s frown.  “um, don’t judge, but i think… i have a hard time saying i love you,” he mumbles.  “so you just have to let me get used to it.”

“okay,” dalton says.  “do you wanna talk about it at all?”

kevin shrugs.  “i don’t know.”  but betsy’s advice swirls in his head.  the only way to know how he feels is talking to him, even if you’d rather not.

“you’re the first person i’ve had a real relationship with.  i think i’m scared i’ll get used to saying i love you and then one day you just won’t say it back.  reject me, or whatever.”  he lies back and feels dalton following.

dalton is lying on his stomach with an arm over kevin and his chin on his chest.  “you’re not crazy for being scared of that,” he mumbles.  “but i can tell you that i don’t see it happening.”  he brushes kevin’s hair from his forehead.  “i’m not leaving anytime soon.”  he kisses his chest since he can’t reach his face without moving.

“okay,” and kevin swallows his fear, or pride, he’s still not sure.  “i love you.”

the next week at his appointment with betsy he tells her of the late night realization, and how dalton reacted to it when he told him.

“the thing to remember about dalton is that we know he’s not going to reject you out of the blue, yes?  from what i see here and there, he’s not just a fling or a short time boyfriend, and he’s now made it clear to you.”

kevin holds his hot chocolate close to his face.  he hasn’t drank any of it, but it’s warm in his hands and the steam is nice on his face.  “yeah,” he murmurs, and without thinking, “i’m pretty sure he’s my soulmate.”

oh?  “i thought you didn’t believe in that kind of thing?”

he shrugs in attempt to hide his shock from saying it, and then tries to hold back a shit eating grin.  “yeah, well… it’s dalton.”

[i-did]

Ok ok this may be a dumb question but we'll see, what are your thoughts on bdsm + andreil? The vast vast majority of these types of fics have Andrew as the dom (and I get why) BUT theres 1 dom Neil fic and I'm like 99% sure I think I saw u comment on it so I'm assuming ur reading it and enjoying it too. And tbh, I find it much better than pretty much all the dom Andrew stuff, I hadnt realised the potential dom Neil could have until I read it. But anyway, I wanted ur thoughts? 🤲 (this is so badly phrased I apologise)

Lmfaooo being perceived is so weird. I hope I didn't say anything because I remember commenting on that fic and thinking about commenting something about my personal sex life, but I don't remember if I did lmfaooo. Omg okay, all that aside–time to now respond to this seriously.

Okay regarding that specific fic, yeah I read a lot of AFTG fics of all types, I haven't read something NSFW in a while, but when I saw the ‘Dom!Neil’ tag I decided to give it a shot. It’s interesting seeing how other authors go about their ideas and just enjoying their story. It doesn’t align with my personal ideas of everything obviously, but those are my personal HC and that fic is that authors personal HC. I like that they’re exploring something that this fandom doesn’t see explored a lot and is just a fun read, lol. Honestly I give up on most BDSM fandom fics because the depiction of Neil makes me uncomfortable ...almost always. I agree a lot more with this fics concept of how they would explore power vs control in a BDSM sexual sense, than most Dom!Andrew Sub!Neil fics– which I have long ago stopped trying to read.

Okay here are my personal ideas about Andrew and Neil, and how they would explore sex.

Many NSFW HC below the cut:

I personally don’t think canon Andrew and Neil would go into BDSM culture or ascribe to either roll strictly. I feel they wouldn’t like established dynamics like that and would get turned off by that aspect, especially since Andrew both craves control of situations but fears ‘being like them’ and a lot of Dom play is about power dynamics that he wouldn't be comfortable with. Andrew sees power in sex as different as control during sex. He needs a controlled environment, and be in control of the other by having them listen to his boundaries, but he can’t feel he’s overpowering the other person. I don’t think he could do a lot of strictly Sub things either for similar reasons, he would feel like he's giving up control of the situation in a way that could make him very uncomfortable.

Neil on the other hand is also often portrayed as a very textbook sub, but I don't think he is. I see him written as a brat a lot, but personally I don’t see him doing that since a lot of what playing with a brat is, is giving them what they want and denying them what they want and them ‘defying you’ and stuff. It's like a form of playful miscommunication I don't see Andrew or Neil ever actually doing. Obviously all healthy and proper play is outlined and discussed beforehand, but I see Andrew and Neil as needing the actions themselves to be clear and cut and dry.

Neil also gets off on Andrews pleasure, Andrew is the same about Neil, they're almost like a feedback loop of “the other enjoying themselves is inherently hot.” to me, Neil getting off on other people (Andrew) getting off is a very Dom like quality. In turn, Andrew is very turned on by pleasuring Neil, but from the point of his knees, which is almost sub like, he is turned on by sucking someone else off and seeing how into it they are. Either way, I think they both wouldn’t be into hardcore BDSM or BDSM culture but also aren’t vanilla. I don’t see either of them going to leather clubs instead of Edens and going to Folsom Fair and joining BDSM social groups and stuff.

I also don’t think either would ever use titles for the other, I think they don’t call each other by their names often on a day-to-day basis, since usually the people were talking to already know their name, and we don’t need to use it for clarification. I do think–just like in canon with emotionally charged moments–names will be used with more emphasis, especially Abram which is not used frequently.

Side note about my Jewish Neil HC: Judaism rocks because sex isn’t shamed, but rather considered a blessing and a holy act. In fact, it’s a good thing to have sex on Shabbat, G-d is actively like ‘fuck yeah you little humans, enjoy life’s pleasures and each other's company’ sex was designed to feel good and a way to connect. Shabbat is all about human connection with those important to us, and a day of rest away from work, so sex on Shabbat is actually actively a good thing. I don’t think Neil is ever religiously Jewish, but Andrew making a joke about this once would be peak to me. Which also fits Abram, a very Jewish name I HC to be not just Neil’s middle name but his Jewish name, and is used in said holy context of sex.

I think like a lot of healthy adults who are sexually active, they will explore and will be more adventurous to try new and other things, especially when dealing with issues like waning to get off but having touch aversion and issues like that. I have a lot of sex life HC about them actually, ways they navigate erectile dysfunction, mental health, and what they like in a safe environment. They trust each other, and I like imagining different ways aspects of their relationship would change or evolve in my head in all different types of ways, including sexual. I also enjoy giving them kinks and inclinations I specifically don’t have, because it’s like me exploring the concept of why someone else might like something even though I personally don’t. I’m not imagining things that make me uncomfortable necessarily, just things I'm neutral on or don’t see the appeal of, but know why they appeal to others and try to imagine what these characters might think.

I feel canon Andrew and Neil explore sex and dynamics that make them comfortable, I have HC about Andrew possibly exploring pup play and wearing a collar for Neil partially as a “joke” in the beginning, but discovering they really like it. I also HC Neil is really into athletic stuff sexually, he thinks Andrew half dressed with his padding still on and a jock strap is just peak sex appeal. I also think Neil is very sensory, and makes associations with smells and senses easily, so he develops a sweat kink, which leads into his armpit kink. Neil isn't turned on by ‘the bad smell of sweat’ but rather the fact that when Andrew is sweaty he smells like Andrew a lot, rather than after a shower he smells more like soap, and he can’t smell Andrew as much. Andrew on the other hand prefers cleaner sex. He’s not triggered by dirty sex though– he used to suck guys off at an alt dance club and is used to the smell of sweaty balls, it's just not an active turn on. Neil has ‘nothing is hotter than Andrew wearing running shoes and socks, and only running shoes and socks’ energy to me too. I think Andrew feels good about himself in leather, but isn't going to be a leather daddy and wear the leather assless chaps and the cap, he will wear the leather harness that every gay wears to pride, but he wears it just for Neil. Also, Neil loves Andrews pecs, Neil’s kinda a boob guy, but for Andrew’s pecs specifically.

I personally think Andrew and Neil typically don’t have penetrative sex. They do it sometimes–and when Andrew is ready he will bottom more as a way to prove something to himself than anything–but it’s not their preferred way or their ‘go to’. When they finally do, they don’t see it as ‘finally having sex for the first time’, since all the sex they've been having is real sex, even if its oral, hand jobs, etc. I don’t think Neil is naturally inclined to bottoming, and since even the visual of topping can make Andrew uncomfortable, they enjoy sex in any other ways, thigh fucking, docking, Andrew fucking Neil’s ass cheeks, sucking each other off, mutual masturbation, frottage, etc. and it leads to stronger orgasms when they don’t have to hope ever second will be a cliff edge and turn into a panic attack. Safer waters are simply more comfortable for them to swim in, and they deem all sex as equal in ‘value.’ that being said, Andrew likes his ass being ate, as long as its just Neil’s tongue, while Neil is neutral on his ass being ate, but loves doing it to Andrew.

I also think they would explore toys, but not in the way they're often explored in fics, which is very vibrator and dildo centric. I think they would use jacking off toys, the disposable egg kind or some more long term ones, maybe even something they could use at the same time. I don’t see them ever actually using handcuffs or restraints really either. Andrew would see Neil tied up as an equivalent statement of ‘I don't trust you not to touch me’ when he wants to actively progress past that, and shows he trusts Neil by not holding his arms back or letting him touch him. Andrew had to hold down previous partners, but Neil is different, Neil listens. This isn’t my personal opinion about restraint, but it is what I think Andrew would think.

I have no idea if this is what you meant by ‘my thoughts’ but here they are. *puts something in your open palms,* idk what emoji that would be

[danwylds]

Right okay I never actually got myself to write this fic so have my notes for the fic except I haven’t read through them since June when I wrote them and I refuse to edit anything

Right is bakery au but not

Neil either turned down the offer of exy for the foxes or for coach whatever the fuck his name was

He got caught earlier tho which is . Unfortunate

Stuart still comes in

Maybe I’ll have him move back to Britain for a while? To avoid the moriyamas n stuff

He NEVER misses a match of the ravens/foxes tho

Which leads to him seeing the frankly sickening interview of Kevin and riko

Neil is like yo Stuart let me start smth

Stuart is like Neil the only reason you’d go back to the states right now is if you did smth that you could hide and you can’t do that for shit

So Neil is like yk what I’m gonna find a way bc I’m not letting this kid go through this (Andrews quite into this idea when it’s shared)

So he says yo. Stuart. Uncle. Sir. Let me open a bakery or something in the states

Stuart is like no you fucking idiot

And Neil is like but c o n s i d e r

You can get info or smth

Just have another business in the states yk

AND I’d get out of your hair

And Stuart is like hm okay but you’ve gotta live in a complex I choose for you

And Neil is all only if I can choose where it’s gonna be

It’s a deal

He (very obviously) chooses a place near palmetto

Stuart is tired but is like he’ll be under protection n shit so I guess??? And he’s not stupid enough to start something right. Right.

Wrong.

Anyways.

It’s a bakery that starts out kinda slow

But Neil finds he likes baking and Stuart pays for his nephew to have some sort of normal life so it doesn’t matter too much

Renee starts to frequent it

At first it’s to pick up sweets for Andrew

But eventually she starts bringing Allison on dates there bc they have a cute little seating area (figure where Seth fits in? I think he’ll survive?)

Uhhh what’s a timeline

I think this’ll be around the winter holidays (Jewish neil? Look into it)

So thanksgiving will have happened . I think Andrew agreed to go Not bc he particularly wanted to but bc he cares for Nicky and knows he’ll probably go anyways

Yeah so thanksgiving. h

Andrew JUST got off his drugs and he’s so damn protective of his own that he hardly even leaves their sides

Edens is a def no for em

Meanwhile Neil is tentative friends w Renee who has brought all the upperclassmen there a few times

Allison bullies him for his clothing but it’s okay he deserves it

Renee is sweet and stops em from doing anything too drastic which Neil appreciates

Matt,, my baby,, he’s so happy he just asks Neil about random stuff

Dan is sweet too!!

Seth kinda hates him but Neil hasn’t paid enough attention to return the favor

One day close to the winter banquet the upperclassmen are like yeah Neil we’re gonna go to this thing and it should be really fun!! Oh you know what? Our teammate Nicky needs a date and his cousin doesn’t really like anyone from his class and he’s super fucking crazy abt it so if that doesn’t deter you then you should totally join !

Neil is like oh chance to fuck up Riko? Absolutely I’ll go

ALLISON DRESSES HIM

HE LOOKS SO GOOD

when he and Allison emerge from the girls room Aaron is like Who is that

And Allison is “oh nickys date (:”

Andrew gets twitchy and holds a knife to her throat

Renee is like Andrew I stg get away from my gf and Seth is like manic pixie nightmare fuel I’m gonna beat the shit outta you

And Neil is just like same shit every day I guess

And he’s like so you’re Nicky then? COMPLETELY IGNORING YK. ALL THAT

Andrew is like “he is. Don’t touch him”

And Neil straight up says I don’t think you get to set boundaries for people, actually

And Neil has no idea what the effect is of that on Andrew but it’s enough to make him glare

Which is terrifying to everyone but Neil bc again. Dumbass

Anyways Neil very purposely hooks his arm through nickys and they head off to the bus

Dunno what happens there but I’ll figure it out

RIKOOO ROASTTT **AIRHORNNNNSSS**

It’s glorious

Kevin and riko are like who the FUCK are you

And Neil is all wouldn’t you like to know weather boy

They relocate and they’re all like . Ah. That’s why you and Renee get along

It’s kinda funny ngl

Andrew doesn’t think so but fuck him

I think that they head back to the bus when this shit I’d over and wymack is like excuse me what the fuck

And Aaron in german is like thank god he never joined the team bc I could not handle more of that

And Neil in German is like would you believe me I’d I told you I was almost signed

And Andrew is like I fucking Knew it I hate it here

N e ways things go back to normal for the most part

The upperclassmen still show up

Seth has a bit of grudging respect for him

It’s later that all the foxes are getting drunk from a lose that Renee calls him and is like Neil please can I usher them inside for a bit I think they need a place to chill so we don’t get yelled at for being too loud in the dorms

And Neil is like uhh sure why not

It turns out it was not just the upperclassmen

He gives them all water bottles and whatever and lets them lounge around

Gives em some food which they pay for w the coachs card

Uhhh idk time passes and some of the foxes pass out so neil is like y’all can chill in the break room? They have couches

He stays out there bc the bakery is still open

Andrew comes out like hey fuck you but also can I get more of those pastries

Idk I want them to be in love already

Uhh yeah I think they don’t say anything until

“what happened to your face”

“A truth for a truth?”

“If you must insist”

“Fine, my father tried to kill me”

Andrew raises his eyebrow but neils like bitch you said a truth for a truth it’s your turn now

Neil asks him why he wears arm bands

We get the whole knives and scars

They’re quiet again

I don’t know man let them be in love

Uhhh okay

I think Andrew will tell neil like

“[code]”

“Huh”

“That’s the code for the court, Kevin practices at night.”

Neil is like how would you know I’d enjoy playing exy? And andrew is like dipshit that’s how we met

I’m running out of ideas oh no

Maybe they play a couple of night game things

Exchange a few more truths

OHHH OKAY COOL SO THEN NEIL CAN GO TO EDENS W THEM THE WHOLE “DOESNT MEAN I WOULDNT BLOW YOU” THING CAN STILL HAPPEN

sick okay! They start dating but since Baltimore happened earlier they never actually come out to the rest of the team

I like to think when they play against the ravens again neils like haha babe you can have as many sweets as you want if you shut down the goal

Also Neil says it’s hot which is like a big thing to persuade Andrew but shhhhh

Yeah the foxes win they celebrate by getting drunk and they all show up at neils like hello again (:

Same thing happens but this time andrew and Neil are together and basically are doing nothing but making out

At least the store is closed

Nicky comes out and just YELLS

YALLLLLL COME LOOK @ THIS SHIT

Allison wins SO much money

Yeah idk how to end this but happily ever after :3

If you want me to turn this into a fic I will!

[urmomsstuntdouble]

congrats on 100! is it possible for you to write some headcanons for china?

of course! and ty! also, quick shoutout to @mysticalmusicwhispers for some of the inspiration for this :)

He is a firm believer in the concept of chaotic time (i will be discussing various interpretations of time as they are described in The Fourth Turning by Neil Howe and William Strauss, as their books about American generations live rent free in my brain), which is defined as “history having no path. Events follow one another randomly, and any effort to impute meaning to their whirligig succession is hopeless.” It’s sort of the original way that people percieved time, and this interpretation of time can be found in a lot of indigenous cultures, as well as in popular nihilism. I think part of why Yao thinks this is because of all the changes in political leadership he’s had throughout his life, which prevent him from being able to apply an overall narrative to the universe. This can make some things like diplomacy a little difficult for him, as many of the other world powers are proponents of linear time- The idea of “time as a unique (and usually progressing) story with an absolute beginning and an absolute end.” 

That’s not to say that Yao is terrible at diplomacy- He’s actually very good at it, and can talk people into buying just about anything from him. 

He has an entire house that’s just filled with his old stuff. Clothes, pottery, paintings, manuscripts, trinkets, et cetera. It’s not very organized, though, and some things can never be moved because if somebody were to touch them, the objects might get damaged. 

His weapon of choice is a gùn staff, when it comes to gun-less fighting. I think he likes to bop people on the head with it when they’re being annoying. 

This is sort of based on some ancient chinese military history that i don’t fully recall so I’m not sure what to type into google but. very deadly with the gùn. 

On that note, he’s very well practiced in both Northern and Southern style Shaolin kung fu, but you probably wouldn’t know that unless you’d been around him for a while. He gives me massive “old person doing tai chi in the park” vibes. Where kung fu is concerned, I think his favorite animal thingy would be the crane? I feel like he’d really like a lot of crane forms even though he’s a bit short for it. (also im very sorry if im getting this wrong or talking about it in the wrong way! i pracitce shaolin kung fu, although i haven’t been able to really engage with it during the pandemic, so my memory might not be 10/10)

His spice tolerance?? through the roof. The things this man eats could kill a human

To me, Yao feels like one of the most human characters in hetalia, because he’s the oldest. Part of this is just because he’s the oldest, so he’s been through the most stuff- While other prominent characters are depicted as being kind of messy young adults who haven’t figured everything out yet, Yao has a calmness about him due to his age. Don’t get me wrong he’s still a bit messy, but he’s messy by choice?? like. from @peonycats latest china drawing. that was voluntary. But at the same time, I think he could fit the wise old mentor trope if he had the patience to be a mentor. He’s lived through so much that he has experience with pretty much everything one could encounter. This is also a double edged sword, because it can make him a bit impatient, especially with things he feels he’s already seen and done before. Sometimes he’s just over it, ya know? (side note i feel like that’s smth he’d be able to bond with India over- being done with all these modern kids who want to do stuff that he’s just endlessly bored by.)

He has a love-hate relationship with C-dramas. On the one hand, they’re interesting stories and imbue nostalgia. On the other hand, they can be super historically inaccurate at times- One complaint I’ve heard is that the hairstyles are often inaccurate for the sake of making the actors look really pretty. 

short king

His government is often wary and not trusting of him, because they see him as being a sort of relic from previous times. Like a potential threat to their sovereignty? idk, just. mutual distrust. 

idk where this came from but I’ve seen the hc that one time the italy brothers were like yo you knew our grandpa right? we just wanna talk- and then china goes yah we used to fuck and i think that’s so funny

He nibbles at his food, eating sort of like a bird, and does the same with water. 

Despite being kind of thin himself, will absolutely pester the shit out of his kids (even if theyre on bad terms) for not eating enough. in the same breath he’ll also berate them for eating unhealthily, and take huge offense if they won’t eat his food. like even if they’re just not hungry that time yao will develop a grudge and he’ll make sure you remember that you didn’t want to eat his food that one time. how rude of you >:(

i probably have more thoughts but theyre either too jumbled/not well worded in my brain or not present at the moment. i hope you enjoyed these!

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