#i keep wishing i'd done something to stop it to save myself.

[spooky-all-year-round]

Battle Confession

The prompts: "I thought I'd never see you again" and "You said... 'I love you'."

SFW G/n Reader x Ominis. This takes place post-game, I left it open for what the situation could be but if the triwizard tournament happens their 6th year then this would be in their 7th. Cause Hogwarts can never have one peaceful year. =)

Trigger warnings: hints of violence, anxiety, sad ominis, but it's happy I promise!

You were running flat out, students were being ushered out of the castle in droves. You were forcing your way past and between them. You had to get to the fight. You rounded the corner and spotted blonde slicked back hair and a robe lined with green. Slamming to a stop you shouted his name, grabbing his left hand with your right and placed your left hand on his right arm to stop him fully. "Ominis i need to tell you something." You were desperate, he had to know.

"What? Tell me later, we need to leave! The teachers said we all need to get off of school grounds! Its not-" he started.

"Ominis I dont know how this will all end. But I need you to know that I love you!" You placed a quick kiss on his cheek before taking off again. His shouts were quickly drowned out between the distance and the sounds of everyone leaving. All you knew is that you needed to save everyone. You needed to save him. Even if it meant you couldn't stay by his side.

You awoke a week later in the hospital wing early in the morning. Matron Blainey filled you in on your injuries and what she has done to heal them and on all the gifts that were left and visiors that had come by. Most notably one Mr.Gaunt, who came daily and for as long as he could. After all was said and done she stated she wanted to keep you overnight for observation and gave you a potion to help you sleep some more.

When you woke up this time it must have only been a few hours later. You could feel drops hit your hand and just as you wondered how there was even possibly a leak in this castle, you began to notice things. That hand was warm, clasped between two of someone else's. And there was a soft hitch in breath before more quiet shuddering breaths came. "Please, you have to come back. You cant leave me." A stiffled sob. "I cant lose you. I wish I had stopped you. Dragged you out of the school myself. I cant believe I froze. That I let you run off into danger again."

You're heart ached he couldnt possibly blame himself. You body was sore and so tired but you had to push through. You had to let him know it wasnt his fault. Sweet Ominis, sitting here crying, blaming himself for your reckless heroics. Had this been what he has been doing every day he visited?

You started trying to push yourself up but only managing a few shifts thanks to the sleeping potion weighing your body down. But it was enough to catch his attention. Because he let out a small gasp and a whisper of your name as if he couldnt believe you were awake. You slowly blinked your eyes open squinting at the sun coming from the other side of the room. His face was one of shock, his beautiful icy blue eyes looking in your direction, even from this angle you could see the beautiful star burst pattern in them. He stood up while reaching for his wand, ready to grab Matron Blainey. He stopped short when he felt your hand tighten around his as you begged, "No please, let me be with you for a moment. I spoke with her earlier." He sat back down obligingly, you could now see his puffy eyes and the hint of red on his nose and cheeks from crying. Slowly you reached up with your other hand to gently hold his face. Another tear started to roll down his cheek. "Ominis my dear, please dont blame yourself. I had to do it. I had to save the school, I had to save you."

He shook his head. "To hell with the school. The teachers could have handled it. You've saved it before so why must you again? I should have stopped you. I should have begged you. Anything to get you to come to safety!" His words were cut off by another sob and you took the chance to stop his spiralling.

"They needed me, they needed my powers. They're strong but they needed my magic to put a stop to it. I'm sorry I didn't explain more but I had to go. The longer i took the worse the aftermath wouldve been." Your voice was almost a haze as you did your best to keep yourself from crying.

"You said ...'I love you'." His voice trailed off with that statement. It hung in the air like a question, a plea to know what you meant.

"I thought I'd never see you again. I wanted you to know for a while now. We became so close so quickly and I fell so hard. I couldn't ever get the courage to tell you, I didn't want to lose you over it. But knowing there was a good chance I'd never see you again... I had to tell you." The words just came spilling out. You were anxious to explain, not wanting him to cut in.

He was silent for far too long, his tears had stopped at some point, but your's were welling up. The panic set in, your heart going both too fast and too hard. It hurt so bad, like your heart might break your ribs. He didnt return your feelings. Here you were, ruining one of the few friendships you had because you just had to spill your heart out. Your whole body was trembling and now your tears were streaming non-stop down your face.

He chuckled before bringing your hand to kiss the back of it. "You couldn't find the courage? Well I don't feel like such a coward hearing that. My darling, I have been infatuated with you for so long. I don't know when it turned to love, but it has been that way for a while. You are the warmth of the sun wrapped up as a person. The sweet melody that gets caught and stuck in my head. A cold drink on a hot day. A comforting story after a terrible nightmare. I have bent to your whims when I was solid as stone to others. I would find a way to give you the universe if you so much as hinted that you wanted it. I would do anything if it made you happy, regardless of how it made me feel. I dont know why but something in you pulls me harder then any accio that could ever be performed. I have heard of soulmates and it would be the only explanation I could give right now. I never wish to lose you and it killed me to think I almost did. You feel like safety and comfort to me... I love you so much."

His declaration knocked the wind out of you. How could you respond to that? So you did the only thing you could think of within your physical abilities. You pulled his hands back towards you and kissed both of them. "How could i go anywhere when the one place i want to be is with you?"

[lymooniee]

Why I hc Shadow as autistic:

Just gonna preface this before I begin, this is all for fun and is a headcanon of mine. Your headcanons may be different to mine and that's valid too! Any grammar mistakes uh- ignore because I'm too lazy to edit this like crazy.

I will also link the video I made of all the moments, too, since it is way too long to post it on here. Keep in mind that not every moment is in the video, but like 95 percent of it is.

Shadow for me has always shown plenty of signs of being autistic, I'll provide as much evidence as I possibly can while doing my best to try and keep this at a reasonable length.

Shadow has always been the silent type of character when he is written correctly or, in other words, whenever Shiro Maekawa was involved with his writing in SA2, heroes and 06. Currently Prime too has done his character justice. I have to state this because I feel this is the best possible way of actually understanding Shadow as a character, so I'll mainly be touching his good characterizations and then some from his own game (not a lot however). He was silent, lonely, calm and often was in his head more than outwardly speaking out. I believe many autistic people like myself, connected to this side of him. Facing with so many adversities because of our differences from others, we become shut in and lonely too, since most autistic people don't feel as if they fit in. You can easily argue this is because of his ptsd from losing Maria, but I'd like to challenge the idea that it can easily be both and his ptsd enhances his traits.

I'll first begin with SA2, Shadow's first scene with eggman to me is quite hilarious if you put a different lens on it, the way he stand there ignoring Eggmans questions and then quickly demands Eggman to abide his rules. It puts Eggman into shock, but I think you could tie these moments that Shadow has as an autistic trait of his. Social cues are quite difficult for a lot of autistic people, and having no filter adds into this difficulty. The way Shadow ignores Eggmans questions to quickly ask him to do what he wants instead really emphasizes this point I made.

I love how he remains calm too, he doesn't yell this at Eggman and instead walks away casually and confidently. It's always been one of my most favourite moments with him. It really does make him stand out as he was able to influence Eggman to follow his wishes. If we want to talk about when he gets introduced to Sonic, I find this moment also again pretty funny in an endearing way when you put in this perspective. Sonic running to him asking Shadow to say something to speak, as Shadow stares at Sonic with silence. He's once again in his head more so than externally present, he also may be struggling to craft up a response or is at a lost with why Sonic is desperate for an answer. Conversations or socially interacting with people is challenging for most autistic people for a plethora of reasons so anything can really explain why Shadow here wasn't responding.

I've also found some of his moments when thinking of Maria (two specific moments being when Amy encourages him to help fight and the other being before Rouge approaches him to ask why he saved her), these moments he's very in tuned with his thoughts. After realizing his true promise with Maria he is in his head not responding right away to Amy, he sheds a tear and runs quickly to help and exclaims how he has to go now to keep that promise. This confuses Amy, however she doesn't stop Shadow or anything. When Rouge approaches Shadow and saying it was unexpected and unlike him to save her, he answers by saying that he didn't go to save her and was doing it for the chaos emeralds. She clearly catches on that this isn't the entire truth, this moment to me is harder to explain. But I think it's because of how he struggles to express his true intentions and feelings in the matter, similar to the Amy one before because he doesnt understand his own empathy.

Now one of if not the most obvious moments in SA2 is when Amy mistakes Shadow for Sonic, he slowly turns to look at her. Doesn't say a word or anything the entire time, and just continues to stare at her. I always loved this moment. I feel this one just speaks for itself lmao.

Now moving onto Sonic 06 moments (sorry there's not a lot in heroes tbh. There is a lot in Sonic X/Prime, Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog, and the Twitter takeovers though!) Sonic 06 main one points out how he is going to discover himself and make his own path. I've always loved this about him as a character, he's not there for anybody but himself, he knows he is different. He will embrace this about himself and not let others try to make up what he has to be. Other subtle traits in 06 are also ways in which he responds to those around him, head nods or simple "yes" responses. Again, it's his way of expressing himself in conversation that really hints at his struggles for social cues. I also adore when Rouge asks him a question and he once again demands for something, and she is like "ok cool, but you didn't answer my question?" Moments like that not only add a lot of charm to him, but something I really connected too because I do this all the time without realizing it. I think partially it's because I get stuck with my own thoughts and those questions I feel I've already got it answered for myself so it's prolly similar where that realization that you may know the answer already, but the other doesn't just doesn't click together sometimes. It could also be because he needs to get out what he needs right away to feel a sense of stability.

Sonic x just has a lot of funny moments that really make his character shine, when he crashes the plane with Espio, Vector and Charmy. He doesn't use his words and instead guides it down forcefully, I similarly do stuff like this where I struggle to express what I need or have to do so I usually just do it without saying it. This happens often when people are in the way of something I have to get to. Like if I have to throw out something for example. I also love that when Espio asks why Shadow didn't just ask, Shadow responds by saying he needs to go find Dark Oak and then just crashes straight into the wall. He really just has such a difficult time expressing exactly why he needs to do things lmao. I also love how he has a challenging time understanding instructions. Eggman asks him to do something and because to Shadow they didn't feel clear, he asks more than once for confirmation. Or when he gives the silent treatment to Rouge and she teases him about it, he just walks away without a word. Now this isn't only applied to Sonic X but Shadow has a really REALLY REAAAALLLY difficult time finding the true intentions of people, Sonic X he gets upset at Rouge and Chris for calling him out on trusting Eggman. He gets defensive and argues back at them saying that Eggman is worthy of trusting because he knows the most about him. It's all he has even though Eggman has been evidenced of tricking others around him. There's countless of other times where Shadow struggles with this, like basically every moment in his own game where he blindly trusts Black Doom. One other moment too I can't exactly remember which game it was, but Rouge was clearly lying and goes "you can trust me! really!!" And he does and then tells her absolutely everything that she wanted to hear.

Sonic prime moments are a lot less, but I do feel his way of just remaining very inwardly or to himself about things can once again be his difficulty in trusting. The way he also overanalyzes a lot of things around him as well. I also just love certain scenes like, "they're air shoes" or "hardly, I'm the ultimate lifeform" because he is blunt and took it quite literally. As he usually does in Prime, where he takes things quite seriously in general. I also feel because sonic is very VERY adhd coded in prime, it really does emphasize the contrast between the two of how someone with autism may interact with someone with adhd. In the most recent episode, he once again finds it difficult to express his protectiveness and plays it off. Or when he does compliment Sonic, he just glares at him when Sonic somewhat jokes around because it felt out of character for Shadow to do that. Even though Shadow was just being blunt about his thoughts and had a moment where he does express properly, but then his glare somewhat shows once again how he has a difficult time crafting up responses lmao.

Some more stuff but more miscellaneous, the Twitter takeovers is funny but it depends on if we want to take it as canon. He loves dry foods, adores kittens to the point he wants an orphanage (connection to animals on a deeper level), he has an organized bedtime routine, and yeah that's basically all the ones I can think of atm. These are quite explanatory I feel. Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog shows he has empathy but struggles to show it similar to basically every other moment I've described, but also just love that he can't handle computers I think that's so funny idk why. I can't even describe how it's an autistic moment for him it just feels like it. He stims with his quills a lot as well, which ugh I adore so so so much.

A lot of these things I've expressed about Shadow come from just from me loving him but also being able to see myself in him as well. I'm happy that Prime is bringing back his character to what it was, I think so many people love Shadow in the fandom simply because of how much they relate to him. He's such great representation despite it not being canon, because of how easily those can see themselves in him. I really do love Shadow and I know this is super long so if you read this, thank you and I hope you enjoyed it.

Have a cute photo of him as a reward ♡

[clownsalot]

uhm i come bearing milgram ocs can i come play in the sandbox with you guys 👉👈

anyways here are my silly guys!!

(im kinda too lazy to come up with my own entire prisoner roster and Es, so i basically just plopped my guys straight into canon. also, im only throwing in stuff from trial 1 because i havent really thought out trial 2 yet beyond vague ideas)

details and stuff below the cut!!!

introduction

015

t1 songs of the prisoners

No, I'm too scared to—!

t1 voice trailer

Ah, my name is Takahashi Naoto. Just Naoto is fine. I'm 18, in my graduating year of highschool. Nice to meet you, Warden. I think asking me about how I feel will just sway your decision making. It's straightforward, so let's keep it simple. Just take the facts. —"—"- What the hell...what the hell? I didn't think it would...it wasn't supposed to...

016

t1 songs of the prisoners

This is...payback!

t1 voice trailer

Yo~ I'm Hashimoto Akane. I'm 15 years old, 3rd year middle school. That makes us a similar age, doesn't it? Let's get along! Well, I will admit that what I did definitely made some people very upset. You'll be deciding if I should be punished on their behalf, right? —"—"- You deserve this. You deserve this! You're the one who chose to go that far...!

interrogation questions

Q: Family?

015: Both my parents. An older brother, too. I don't talk to them often since I stopped living with them.

016: Myself, my mom and dad, and my younger sister. She's 14, I love her very much!!

Q: Who was your victim to you?

015: A schoolmate. Her name was Asuka. You could say we were friends.

016: She wasn't anyone important to me or anything, so don't get weird ideas. I only knew about her because of my sister.

Q: How is your experience in Milgram?

015: It's not all bad. I've never had this much free time before.

016: It's alright but I still kinda want to go home. I worry about how my sister is doing...

Q: What do you dislike?

015: Just in general? Well, it doesn't matter i guess. I don't like things that are bothersome.

016: People who mistreat others for no reason. They're terrible. Terrible!

Q: Are there things you regret?

015: I try not to think about them. Regrets don't erase your mistakes, so what's the point?

016: I did everything believing it was the right choice at the time. But I wish I'd done more sooner. It would have saved my sister a lot of suffering and I might not even be here if I had.

Q: Do you have apologetic feelings for your victim?

015: You're the one responsible for judging if I should, aren't you?

016: Who knows. But I don't regret what I did.

Q: Any prisoners you're close with?

015: I'm on good terms with everyone. Though, I like talking with Kayano. He's a bit like an older sibling.

016: I like taking care of Amane and always try to look after her, we're the youngest in the prison after all. But I don't know if she likes it...

Q: Which prisoner would you say is most like you?

015: Mr Mukuhara. There's just something about him, like if he looks at me too long he'll know what I did. That he'll know that I broke a promise too.

016: Not that sure actually...maybe Kotoko?No...Kajiyama? I don't know. But Kajiyama's actually kinda nice when you get down to it, isn't that surprising? He looks out for Haruka, like I try to do for Amane.

Q: Is there a verdict you hope for?

015: That would defeat the point. I want to be judged properly by an outside perspective. Whatever you decide must be correct, right?

016: I'd like to be forgiven, since I think I did the right thing. But I know what I did also hurt others, so I understand if you choose not to forgive me.

bonus notes!!

i was thinking that the trial results would go something like:

for naoto (015) it'd be t1 guilty t2 innocent, something like fuuta. because his mv and song would be super vague and the prevalent theory would paint him in a terrible light, kinda like shidou except without the pretty privilege, and like fuuta whether he feels bad or not is hard to tell, so he gets guiltied. then somehow his trial 2 would garner him a crap ton of sympathy again like fuuta and his vote would turn around

for akane (016) it'd be t1 innocent t2 guilty, kinda like a reverse of naoto. she might be like muu or kotoko where the trial 1 paints her as super sympathetic/heroic, leading you to root for her, but in trial 2 she gets painted in a more negative light so she gets guiltied then

funny side note is that in terms of character parallels by complete accident i accidentally gave naoto like a wild number of paralles to kazui?? like i reached the 'which prisoner would you say is most like you' question, looked at it and suddenly realized, hey isn't this guy just like kazui??? it's that 'i personally relate to kazui a staggering amount' swag ig

akane's parallels were a lot harder to think of because she paralleled a lot of characters in different ways, so the way i ended up writing her response was deliberate and it's great fun to me lol.

i actually couldn't decide if akane would like fuuta or hate his guts, so i didn't include a 'who do you get along with?' question here since i didn't know how to answer it

for their names i ended up going down the 100 most common japanese surnames list on wikipedia and choosing ones that i thought fit, then put them in combination with their given names. i think what i came up with is a little morbidly funny in relation to their crimes that i still think i was kinda clever for, but i didn't write anything about their actual crimes beyond the vague hints in the interro questions, and i havent included the actual characters for their names. idk is that interesting to you guys

so anyways i was wondering if it'd be better if i elaborated on the crimes and wrote them out as it happened in another post or..? idk what do you guys think? should i continue to just be super vague about them

i did also come up with these guys with a prisoner pair theme in mind and it's supposed to be something like 'how much of yourself would you give for your loved ones' but im a little afraid that might be too similar to shidou and mahiru's theme about love? even though their crimes are vastly different i think

anyways that's it, have a nice day!! if you were interested enough to read all the way to here thank you so much <3

[rotting-victorian-child]

Sam Winchester x Reader

You make a deal with Lucifer and Sam won’t let it rest.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

"Sam you need to stop." You crossed your arms, looking down at the floor. You heard him clear his throat. "Stop what, Y/n?" He asked. "Trying to find a way out of this!" You said more angry than you intended. You uncrossed your arms and walked over to him. "Yeah. Okay. I should just let Lucifer take you?" He grunted and looked back down at the book. "That's exactly what you need to do, Sam. Glad we're on the same goddamn track." You slammed his book shut. You appreciated how much he loved you and how hard he was fighting to keep you with him, but there was no getting out of this one. "What the hell is your problem!? I'm trying to find a way to save your life!" He yelled. "I don't need to be saved. I did what I did. No going back on it." You shook your head. "Yeah, and what you did was the dumbest thing you've ever done. What the hell is wrong with you, Y/n?" He stopped yelling and tears grew in his eyes. "I was saving you and your brothers life, and I'd do it again in a heartbeat. There's not a single thing on this planet I wouldn't do for you, and sacrificing myself is not an exception." You closed your eyes and sat in the chair next to him. "There's not a single thing on this planet I wouldn't do for you either, and that's why I'm trying to find a way out of this deal." He took your hand in his. "Sam, you have to stop. There's nothing you can do. I wish there was a way, and even if there was you know it would come with some crazy consequence." You gripped his hand tighter. "I want to spend my last year with you actually living. Being us. Not nose deep in lore trying to fix something that can't be fixed." You continued. "I just don't want you to go." He glanced over at you, sniffling. "I know. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Sam." You finally let the tears you've been holding in fall. Sam jumped up and engulfed you into a hug. "Thank you for saving me. Now please, let me save you." He cupped your cheek in his hands, using his thumb to wipe away a tear. "You can't. Let me keep my word this time, okay? Please." You placed a hand on his shoulder. "Okay. If that's what you want, then I'll stop. We will live." He agreed. You closed your eyes. "Thank you, Sam. I love you." You leaned up to him pulling him into a kiss. "I love you too, Y/n."

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I’m uploading some old stuff I have laying around to try and get me back in the swing of things :)

[voorice-corp]

The Vicquisition, Translated

so, I keep going on and on about how I'm going to do a new, and revised translation of Phantom Of The G4, given that I am fluently bilingual in both Chinese and English. well, today I had the urge to translate... a certain segment of the game, both to see what I'm getting myself into, and to confirm the things I've heard it means for a certain character. that, of course, being my dearly beloved, Victor. specifically, his only appearance in POTG4 where he asks Vincent and Vanora a series of questions in order to let them pass deeper into the Myers facility.

I don't have the game itself, yet. because I abide by the rules to play VTSOM first. instead, I found a video of someone's playthrough of it - the audio is in Chinese, and not all dialogue options are covered. but in the meantime, this is quite a lot...

without further ado, my translation, notes and other commentary below the cut. Victor's lines are in red, Vincent's in purple, and Vanora's in pink.

想要我讓開很簡單。你只需要回答一些我的問題。 If you want me to make way, it’s very easy. You just need to answer some of my questions.

the player is given a yes/no prompt, and selects yes

很好。 Very good.

我們上次見面是什麼時候了，文森？ When was the last time we met, Vincent?

你以為我會記得這種事？真是自作多情。 You think that I’d remember this sort of thing? What wishful thinking. (Note: The second sentence was a bit difficult to translate bc there’s several meanings to this phrase 自作多情 (literally "self-make-many-feelings"), from being overly sentimental to self-flattery/imagining yourself as everyone’s favourite person)

是這樣嗎？ Is that so?

難道你不記得你我引以為傲的那件事了？我們那時候到達的是任何人都無比渴求的巔峰。 Could it be that you don’t remember what we were so proud of? What we had reached then was a peak everyone had been longing for.

而你卻說過，財富、知識、榮耀… And still, you have said: wealth, knowledge, glory...

player is given 3 options to finish his sentence: 是每個人都渴求的。 "… are what everyone longs for." 都毫無意義。 "… are completely and utterly meaningless." 不過是權力幾種類型。 "… are just various forms of power."

the player picks the second option

你這句話就已經背叛了來這裡的初衷了。 What you said here goes against your original intention to come here.

我隱約記得，文森·埃奇沃思從來不會後悔。 From what I vaguely remember, Vincent Edgeworth never, ever regrets.

最可怕的敵人，就是沒有堅強的信念。而能夠被輕易擊敗的人根本不配存在於這個世界上。 The scariest enemy, is to lack strong belief. And people who can be easily defeated are not worthy of existing upon this world.

he kills you with one smack of his metal hand. game over, go back to previous save…

this time the player picks the third option of above

而我們已經擁有了這些，甚至更多。 And we already had these, if not even more.

我們？別開玩笑了。 "We?" Stop joking around.

財富、知識、榮耀。沒有我哪一個你能保住？ Wealth, knowledge, glory. Without me, which one could you have kept?

沒記錯的話，你還因為此時欠在下一瓶酒。 If I’m not remembering wrong, you still owe me the next bottle of alcohol for this. (Note: In Chinese, the word they use can both specifically refer to wine, and all kinds of alchohol in general.)

一如既往的自負，你還是嗜馬丁尼如命？ Conceited as always, and still so fond of/addicted to martini like your life depends on it? (Note: Is the "addiction" literal or metaphorical? Maybe both? Truly we will never know.)

這還需要在下解釋？ Do I still have to explain this further?

的確，好的基酒對一杯馬丁尼十分重要。 Indeed, a good base spirit is essential for a martini.

3 dialogue options for the player again, all with the following structure: 所以我當然不會放過到手的頂級⋯。 "And so, of course I will always have some top tier [option below] on hand." 杜松子酒 gin (Note: Literally "juniper berry wine" which I didn’t recognise at first bc usually I see it written as 琴酒 which reflects it phonetically) 白蘭地 brandy 伏特加 vodka

the player picks the third option

伏特加？你以為自己是在調製什麼？ Vodka? Just what do you think you are mixing here?

player gets two options to answer him with: 一杯血腥瑪麗。 A Bloody Mary. 一杯激情海岸。 A "Passion Coast". (Note: I've done some rudimentary research on cocktails, but have never heard of something with a name like this. If anyone knows what this is, I'd appreciate the help. EDIT: a friend of mine on discord has informed me that it's most likely referring to the cocktail called Sex On The Beach)

player picks first option

血腥瑪麗？人道，「惟有經歷諸多苦難才能懂的苦難賦予你的意義」。 Bloody Mary? People say, "only by experiencing much suffering can you understand the meaning the suffering bestowed upon you."

虛假的苦難，虛假的血腥。這和你的過去比起來算什麼？ False suffering, false blood. How does this even compare to your past?

我親愛的文森，你都已經忘記了你所承受的一切嗎？那你的存在就沒有意義了嗎？ My dear Vincent, have you forgotten all that you’ve had to go through? And now your existence no longer has meaning?

he kills you, game over, go back to previous save

player picks vodka again and then second option of above

激情海岸？一向只喜歡乾身酒的你，怎麼可能喝這些果汁飲品呢。 Passion Coast? You’ve always only liked dry cocktails, how could you drink this kind of fruity/juice based beverage?

and again, he kills you. bro, stop judging people's taste in drinks 😭

player picks gin for the original question

這個自然。等我們從這個鬼地方出去，我給你便是。 Naturally. Once we get out of this damn/accursed place, I’ll give you some.

慢著，那件事指的是什麼？ Wait a second, what do you mean by "that thing/event/incident" ? (Note: I take it she’s referring to the above "what we were so proud of" thing)

薇諾拉，「好奇心是大腦貪求的慾望」。慾念太強對身體可不好呢。 Vanora, curiosity is a desire the brain craves. And to desire for it too strongly is not good for the body.

看來你的這位同伴想知道的格外多呢。 Looks like this companion of yours knows quite a lot.

作為一名律師，我能做的僅僅只能讓人摒棄自己的信仰罷了。她的好奇心與我無關。 As a lawyer, all I can do is make people abandon their own beliefs. Her curiosity has nothing to do with me.

沒想到你也有無能為力的一天？ And you didn’t think you’d also have a day where you’d be powerless?

對方可是要以妨害執行公務的罪名將我逮捕呢，你說是吧，薇諾拉女士？ The other side/party wants to capture me for interfering with official duties. Isn’t that so, Miss/Lady Vanora?

哈哈哈。堂堂梅爾斯職業律師居然會因此害怕？ Hahaha. The dignified professional lawyer of Myers is scared of this?

再厲害也不過是一個俗人，出生起就已經被政��的一紙契約��縛著了。 No matter how mighty one is they are still a common person, already bound by a government contract at birth.

這麼說來，我突然想起你當年引用的一句話。不帶劍的契約不過是一紙空文… What you said, suddenly reminds me of something you said back then. A contract without a sword, is simply a blank paper.

player is given 3 options now, to respond: 而政府的職責，便是化身為此劍。 And the government’s duty is to manifest as this sword. 它毫無力量去保障任何人的安全。 It has absolutely no power to protect anyone’s safety. 只有突破這本不存在的枷鎖，才能真正跳出羊圈。 Only by breaking these nonexistent shackles can one truly jump out of the sheepfold.

player picks the third option

跳出羊圈？真是荒謬。 "Jump out of the sheepfold?" How ridiculous.

有一些人的存在，是註定不能被救贖的。 Some people’s existences are doomed to never be redeemed.

and again he kills you, because dragon cult ahh belief

player picks the first option

…真是有趣的答案。 … what an interesting/funny answer. (Note: Yes, in Chinese we use the same word for both of these)

不過我倒還記得一句話，地獄是太晚發覺的真相。那麼恭喜你獲得一張免費的地獄門票。 However, this reminds me of another saying, "hell is a truth/reality discovered too late." And so, congratulations on earning a free ticket to hell.

this time he isn't just killing you, he's SLAYING because holy shit if that isn't badass I don't know what is

player picks the remaining second option

話雖如此，你可是從來沒有怕過。 You say this, but you’ve never been afraid of it before.

我們都是遊走在劍鋒的人，這一點你沒資格說我。 We’re all people who walk on the point of a sword, you have no right to tell me this.

那你回到此地是為了什麼？ Then why did you come back to this place?

and again, 3 dialogue options for the player 任何東西都有一種特有的功能，某種工作或許只有它能做。 Everything has a unique function, and there are some jobs that only it can do. 無論這個漩渦有多令人絕望，我總是要走這一遭的。 No matter how hopeless this whirlpool/spiral/vortex will make me, I was always going to walk this path. 在下解釋過了是受人所迫。 I’ve explained that I was forced to do this.

player picks the third option

受人所迫？ "Forced?"

文森，任何人用這個藉口我都會半信半疑一下。至於你，我是絕對不會信的。 Vincent, everyone who uses this excuse, I will doubt (literally, "half-believe-half-suspect") for a moment. And in your case, I would never believe it.

and he kills you. we are so close to the end, yet so far…

player picks the first option, which becomes slightly modified for Vincent to say

任何東西都有一屬於它自己的功能。某種工作或許只有它能做，甚至比其他人更好。 Everything has its own function. There are some jobs that only it can do, sometimes better than other people, even.

真正的贏家只會讓這件東西為他所用，並讓他物超所值。弱肉強食，我只是不想看庸人螳臂擋車罷了。 True winners will only use this thing for their own ends, and give it an excellent value. The weak are meat and the strong eat, I just don’t want to see mediocre people biting off more than they can chew. (Note: The phrase they used here, 螳臂擋車, literally translates to "a mantis using its arm to block a cart", meaning to underestimate what you’re taking on)

所以，請問你問完了嗎？你已經浪費了我太多的時間了。 So, may I please ask if you’re done asking? You’ve already wasted far too much of my time.

確實。你做的很好，文森。我想，我也沒什麼好多說的了。 Indeed. You did very well, Vincent. I think I don’t have anything more to say either.

he moves out of Vincent and Vanora’s way

那就祝你們好運了。 Then I wish you two good luck.

[emmatriarchy]

Witches Unleashed - 11 to 15

Change pronouns, names, etc as you need. (other memes)

"I hate sleep, too many memories await me there." "Are you asking me to dance, or did you need something?" "Come on now, spit it out." "I'm sorry! Forget I said that. You're safe with me." "I'll forgive you this time." "Sometimes the boys can get a little aggressive, you know?" "It's ever so reassuring to know you're here to keep me safe." "If anybody gives you guff, you ask for me." "We don't tolerate that kind of thing here." "You're looking good, daughter." "He lied like some people breathed." "Whatever you want, the answer is no." "I'd rather stick my head in that blender over there." "The brave knight comes to the rescue? How delightful!" "He's not worth it. If you toss him out, he'll just make more trouble." "You don't have to put up with this garbage, you know?" "Son, this pretty little girl could rip your head off. I think your chivalry is a bit misplaced." "I've always had a bit of the devil in me." "What will it take to make you go away for another five years? Or ten? Can we go for ten this time?" "Honestly, our family is so dysfunctional. I think we ought to try therapy." "Honestly, that's the worst plan I've ever heard. What are you thinking?" "It's not my call." "I ought to hunt them down and give them a lecture." "They don't like you any better than I do." "That's your game? You're losing touch, old man." "Running is going to get you killed." "I do wish you'd let me help." "You're going to do that out of the goodness of your heart? I don't buy that for a second." "I wouldn't insult you by pretending that my concern is anything but self-serving." "You've got nothing to offer that I want." "Long ago, I stopped wishing for your approval or affection." "I spent years trying to please everyone but myself." "Sounds like last night was wild, even for you." "I'd like to hit the road before the traffic gets bad." "What I have to say might change those plans." "I'm so glad you're here to explain these things to me." "Does anyone really know the difference between a second cousin and a third cousin?" "I'm pretty sure that question was rhetorical." "If we leave, it doesn't matter whether X is on our side or not." "You remember what happened the last time it got out." "Never trust a big butt and a smile." "I wouldn't trust X to babysit a pet rock, but he can be counted on to do what's best for him." "I can't help if you leave me behind." "Cracking jokes and keeping secrets isn't going to get the job done." "How stupid do you think I am?" "you want to charge in blindly without admitting that you're afraid in the first place." "It's my job to protect you from things like this." "So, what's the plan?" "I can't decide if I'm excited or terrified, to be honest." "Remember, I'm an idiot." "He doesn't look like the kind of man you'd want to tangle with in a dark alley." "You want this, don't you? Come and get it then." "In the Olympics fo pain, I'm a gold medalist. Is that the best you got?" "Now I don't want to tick you off." "If I have to sacrifice my own happiness to save them, so be it." "Just what do you think you're doing? You can't abandon us like this." "This isn't what it looks like!" "You're underestimating us!" "I knew you'd be too stubborn to listen, so I snuck off." "I don't expect you to understand." "I've known that since the beginning, but I don't hold it against you. It is what it is." "Let me go. It's the only way to save you." "I like him. I'm gonna send him a nice fruit basket." "I'm not leaving because I don't care. Quite the opposite, in fact." "I don't even know if I wanted to do half of the horrible things I've done." "I'm not apologizing for that again. Honestly, are you gonna bring it up every time we argue?" "Quit stalling, or we'll end up getting arrested." "If you leave, I won't be able to hold it together." "I'll die someday anyway. I rather do it when I actually like myself." "You don't ever do half measures, do you? You just go for the throat." "Variety is a good thing."

[promptling]

STAR TREK III: THE SEARCH FOR SPOCK ( 1984 ) change pronouns as needed.

we're almost home.

death is like an open wound.

it seems i've left the noblest part of myself back there.

that's very odd.

your timing is excellent.

how else can i keep my reputation as a miracle worker?

your reputation is secured.

a hero's welcome? is that what you'd like?

what the hell's going on?

when do i get paid off?

you will be remembered with honor.

if my grandmother had wheels, she'd be a wagon.

_________, help me.

you left me. why did you do that?

what the hell are you doing?

have you lost your mind?

this is where the fun begins!

the logical alternative is obvious.

i'll take the risk.

no one has time for those who stand and wait.

i will speak with you alone.

spare me your human platitudes.

i saw no future.

i'd have given my life if it would have saved his.

forgive me.

it is not here.

what you ask is difficult.

we're picking up radiation.

our readings are well below danger level.

you're my best officer.

i don't break rules!

don't quote rules to me.

i'm talking about loyalty and sacrifice.

i never understood vulcan mysticism.

i'll hire a ship.

keep up this emotional behavior and you'll lose everything.

you'll destroy yourself!

thanks for the drink.

the word is no. i am therefore going anyway.

you can count on my help.

anybody been looking for me?

you have me at a disadvantage.

could i offer you a ride home?

how many fingers do i have up?

that's not very damn funny.

your sense of humor's returned.

it's revenge for all the arguments you lost.

this will make you well enough to travel.

i need some challenge in my life, some adventure. maybe even just a surprise or two.

be careful what you wish for. you may get it.

it's damn irregular.

i'm glad you're on our side.

i can't ask you to go any further.

the more they over-think the plumbing, the easier it is to stop up the drain.

let's do it by the book.

it's time for total truth between us.

how many have paid the price for your impatience?

how many have died?

how much damage have you done?

i'd swear something was there.

i have no knowledge.

i hope pain is something you enjoy.

i ordered no interruptions.

i trust my instincts.

i'm sorry i'm late.

i should have known you would come.

i went wrong.

i swear to you, we're not finished yet.

we have a job to do.

no tricks, ______.

if we don't help each other, we'll die here.

i do not deserve to live.

fine, i'll kill you later.

it seems i've missed you.

i don't think i could stand to lose you again.

what you seek has not been done since ages past, and then, only in legend.

your request is not logical.

my logic is uncertain where my son is concerned.

you must make the choice.

i choose the danger.

hell of a time to ask.

what i have done, i had to do.

if i hadn't tried, the cost would have been my soul.

[fatuismooches]

Fontaine Archon Quest Act 1 + 2 Spoilers beneath the cut!!! 👾 anon and 🎺 anon i responded to you here :) (Also lots of talking about Arlie because I LOVE HER)

I've also gone through Lyney and Lynette's character stories/voice lines regarding Arlecchino (and a rough translation of Freminet's) and I completely agree! To be completely honest she seems more nicer than I thought she'd be. Of course, she's still strict and evil but she still has standards and seems to care for the siblings to some extent. One of the lines I found most interesting was "Perhaps the most amazing aspect of Lyney's Founding Day magic show was its ability to have even "Father" lay down her heavy burden and enjoy a brief moment of familial love." I didn't expect her to have such a close connection with the siblings. Plus, when she denied giving Lyney a Delusion and also allowed Lynette to keep a box of cats? Loved that. She can be cruel and mean but she does have some sort of heart left. Not to mention Arlie's confirmed to be from Fontaine. I hope we learn her real name soon! Totally with you there with her being soft only for reader ❤️ She has the ability to be kind but expresses it in perhaps an unconventional way. Even when she's being soft she doesn't know exactly how to act. Really looking forward to her in-game appearance!!

HELP I WAS ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE😭😭 Saved for months with absolutely no regrets. Currently saving for Arlie as well! I wish you luck on your primogem saving ❤️❤️

FR I LOVE THE SIBLINGS SOOO MUCH 😭💖💖 (Freminet was robbed of screentime though) AND YES ARLECCHINO I LOVE HER 😭 Ugh I can totally imagine that <3 Arlie shows her kindness in a stern and strict way but you're the complete opposite. You can't fathom being cold to these little cuties! You're the affectionate one and while Arlie does scold you a bit about spoiling them too much she can't get too mad because at least you can handle all the mushy stuff which she cannot do very well. I'm now brainrotting about the kids seeing you and Arlie argue and becoming scared for your relationship and trying to get the two of you to reconcile 😭 I'm literally bouncing in excitement for 4.1 i want to see her so bad!!

Moving on to me just talking about the quests. Did anyone else feel a bit upset at Traveler for how they treated Lyney and Lynette at the end?? I did considering everything the twins went through. I understand the Traveler not trusting the Fatui but they were literally holding onto Childe's Vision in that moment?😭 Besides that little piece, these two Archon quests were really solid and lots of fun. Was also surprised how many serious topics were put into it too. Usually they leave the dark stuff for side/world quests.

Navia. Definitely an amazing character i loved her in the quests. Really beautiful, great personality, and i love her two bodyguards. Her voice while yelling at Neuvillette was really raw 🥺 Also loving Furina a lot. I didn't expect her to be insecure of herself. Seems like her confidence is just a facade for her people's sake. Y'all already know how I feel about Neuvillette haha i didn't expect him to be so emotional but I'm loving him so much! (I love everyone lemme just stop repeating myself 😭)

But damn being dissolved into water is so grim 😭 Imagine just being Fontanian and all of a sudden you learn you could simply dissolve and no one would ever know. I'd literally be so scared that i could die at any time 😭

EDIT: I CANT BELIEVE I FORGOT TO TALK ABOUT CHILDE IM SO DONE. IM SO SORRY CHILDE LOVERS I GOT TOO SWEPT BY ARLIE. Anyway. Childe was so freaking cute. He is the kind of guy who would tell you every little detail no matter how minuscule it is about his siblings. Teucer told him about something that happened to him? Okay now you're getting the same story but more drawn about and longer because Childe can't help babbling about his family.

I know people are clowning on Childe for getting beat by Neuvillette but give my man some credit 😭 He managed to scratch A DRAGON THATS IMPRESSIVE OKAY.

[natalyabby]

𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓼𝓽𝓸𝓻𝔂 𝓫𝓮𝓱𝓲𝓷𝓭 𝓶𝔂 𝓼𝓸𝓷𝓰,🕯️'𝓒𝓪𝓷𝓭𝓵𝓮𝓼'🕯️

Hey 💞🌊 ! So, my song 'Candles'; my first ever release has been out for around 2 weeks, and I thought it'd be cool to ~divulge~ a bit of the story behind it. I'm wary to get too specific about it since;

1. I am a fairly private person in a sense- I've learnt my lesson in the past about being tooo open, especially online.

2. I would like to now and in future as I grow with my music, be known for who I am as an artist. I've had a bit of a wild life in the relatively short time I've lived. While I want my art to be an expression of that, there's so much more to me than what I've been through. To me, creating art has more to do with expressing my essence- communicating the core of who I am and what I wish to bring to this world. The person I always was since childhood, the beauty Ive always seen before anything... unfortunate happened lol.

Anyway, I still think it'd be fitting to give a little background :)

If you listen to 'Candles', I think it is clear even outside of myself that this song speaks to feelings of loneliness, & longing. Again, without getting too specific about my life, at the time I wrote this song I did indeed feel incredibly lonely, isolated.. cold, such a feverishly profound lack of warmth & support; hence the lyric:

'indefinite ice age I'm in the twilight zone'💜

I was at the time, freshly 18, homeless (by this stage, in youth crisis accommodation) and feeling very lost in a city I wasn't familiar with. My mother had recently passed away, I had no friends around me & I felt ostracised by the family I did have. I was struggling for food in my situation, and I remember almost routinely staying up at night, listening to music, and lighting ma classic candles & incense on my desk at 3am. I remember not having proper curtains over my window yet, which was kinda awkward/scary, but kinda snazzy since I could see the Moon out lol 🌕

I remember vividly how desperately I wished for some sort of companionship. A part of me wished that a man would come in and save me- financially & emotionally- but at the same time I wasn't going to go out and find that man, because I'd learnt from the past how silly it is to put all your faith in some guy. I just wanted to feel like somebody could just come and carry me home or something like that.

I remember going on bloody Tinder (lol) trying to find someone there just to feel a little less alone but it all just felt so stupid, like all I'd be doing is adding more chaos & potential predators into my life while I'm already in a vulnerable position.

Alas, none of this stopped me from being a hopeless romantic & daydreaming though... lol ☁️🌸💐

As I keep releasing music, you might find that a lot of my songs are in some way or another, related to these feelings of being a 'hopeless romantic'. Whether it's about 'some guy', or about the beauty of life itself 🪷. I think this can be a very magical, positive & uplifting thing- or, a dark and twisted thing...

As a songwriter; I'm very strict on myself with what I write, because I understand energy & the power of words- the power of MUSIC. While talking about dark experiences in order to shed light & connect with kindred spirits is an honourable thing; there's also a danger of reinforcing that negativity by spinning certain songs into existence. I strongly feel it has to be 'done right'. I feel that artists do have a sense of duty with the purity of their message. I mean, everyone does really.

Lastly I will say that my song, Candles also carries an air of existentialism. I've definitely felt that my feet are more planted on the ground lately, but during the time I wrote Candles I was in a veryy existential, void-like, but sometimes still hopeful place. Something about the turbulence and instability of my life really made me feel like - what is the point? what more could happen? how do I know something crazy isn't going to happen tomorrow that uproots my existence yet again?

'what am I here for? picking daisies in the void' 🌼♥︎

Then there was the sadness. The feeling somewhat numb and heartbroken by life, but at the same time knowing I need to stay tough since I'm out fending for myself so to speak, so not being able to cry. Always feeling a need to be alert for my safety.

'I would cry, but a fighter don't sook'

Soo, there's some background on Candles :) I hope I haven't 'overexplained' since I know that can really take the magic out of music, but I thought that telling my story might mean more people connect with it. Lots of love to everyone who's supported me in my musical/creative endeavours thus far. 💞💞

[seven2got]

This is my first post, I just want to introduce myself and start by saying to anyone who is contemplating suicide or are addicted to fentynal or anything else, I know just how hopeless life can seem, how it feels to not have anyone who cares about you. You may not believe me...yet... but there is a reason for you to keep pushing, keep living. Even if you are as hopeless as I was, please trust me when I say, there's someone or some reason you are on this planet for, I couldn't find a reason why I needed to stay alive, but it turned out that I needed to keep living, not for myself but for someone who had a beautiful family that loved him, an accomplished life he'd worked a long time to build, but he didn't want to die, he was done with being an addict and he was sick. He needed a friend who could help him do some of the most basic of daily tasks, someone who had gone through the struggle of being an addict and managed to get off of it like he had, his health was declining and the guilt he carried from causing his family to suffer while he was an addict he wished for a friend who would understand what he was going through. I was ready to die, I'd lost everyone that ever meant anything to me, I'd just gotten out of prison for the 2nd time, I was homeless, I stopped caring about other people or trying to make friends because they always left me, I was tired of being sad over people who obviously didn't care about me like I did about them. I didn't want to be an addict anymore, even if I was going to kill myself I just couldn't live another day chasing the drug, the cravings overpowered everything, the only thing that really mattered was my next high, I thought if I got off of it I would find a purpose but the clearer my head became, the more clear it was that I had no reason to live. I spent all day considering how, where, when, and all the steps leading up to the end. I was actually content with my decision, I would no longer be anyone's cause of stress, no one would ever worry about me again, no one would have to make room for me to sleep on their couch, I wouldn't have to go back to prison, everything I thought of was a good reason to die. I'd overdosed about 5 times while smoking raw fentynal and had my "friends" narcan me and bring me back, sometimes I'd wake up in the shower with cold water soaking my clothes, I'd be sore the next day from them slapping me or jerking my lifeless body around and into the shower. I never remembered how it felt in the few moments leading up to the overdose, come to think of it, I'd literally died multiple times unintentionally so surely I wouldn't fail at this as long as I got a big enough piece, a spot I wouldn't be interupted, and the mind set I had reached. My blog will follow all the struggles I had to live with while being an addict, all the failed attempts to get clean, getting convicted of distribution and going to prison twice, all of the people who might have meant something in my life if I would have given them the chance, all the ones who wouldn't have that I did, exactly how I decided to end my life even though I'd never even thought of suicide before, the people I met only days before I was to die and how only a few simple words completely changed my outlook on the future and gave me a reason to live. So no matter how dark and hopeless life can seem, it may not even be yourself that you need to keep on living for, there's a reason for every one of us to be here, sometimes you find it the last place you would thought to look. I believe I was saved in order to help someone live that didn't want to die. There was a family I didn't even know that needed my help to be complete again. I had found people who cared about my future, they didn't care about my past, they loved me when I wasn't sure I knew what love was, they became my reason to live when I couldn't find one in myself.

[sweetmage]

Got obsessed with a new NPC, yippee!!🎉 Unfortunately he dies 😭

Anyway, here is a little bit of Niall and my new warden Valentin saying their final goodbye in the fade 🥲 

Words: 836

Series: Dragon Age Origins

Ship: M!Surana/Niall

Tags: Character death, belated confessions, final goodbyes

Reality crashed upon Val like a wave, sudden and suffocating. The Litany... all Niall could speak of was the Litany, as though he had not just admitted to giving everything with the casualness of a passing comment. 

'His body...'

Val shook his head slowly as though denial might displace the truth. "But there must be some way. Wynne is with us, she's a healer, she—"

Niall stopped him with a wan smile. "This isn't something any mage can undo. I have... minutes, maybe. Maybe less. Promise me you'll take the Litany."

"Of course, but—" His tone rose, words tumbling upon words in a rush to make sense of it all. "There must be something. There's always something. What about—?"

"Val," Niall spoke, quiet as a sigh. "Don't do this. It won't help you, it won't save me. I was never meant to save the circle or survive its troubles. I am dying. It is as simple as that."

"Then what do I do?" Val demanded, hands clenching uselessly at his side. "What am I supposed to do?"

"Fine. Just like you always do." His words were tinted with a morose fondness and his eyes lingered upon him like he wished to take his image with him to the Maker's side.

"I thought... I had hoped I'd bring you with me. Then you'd be free of all of this."

"I always thought it would be me that would take you from all of this. A foolish thought now, but... I wanted to. I had forgotten what it was like to hope. I saw no future for myself, I didn't really care if I lived or died. I would just keep going until I couldn't. But I wanted better for you. I thought when I was an enchanter I could raise my voice for the Isolationists, that maybe I could make a change. That you might be safer, might be happier, you wouldn't need to run away anymore."

Val's eyes fell upon Niall's form, pale and ethereal and flickering like a candle nearing the end of it's wick. "You would have done great things. You deserved better than this."

"I got what I wanted in the end. No thanks to me, but... I am happy to know you'll be alright. Even if I can't be there to see it with you. In the end, haven't we both escaped the Circle in some way? My only regret is that I could not save it. Perhaps trying to play hero was a foolish act. But if there is anyone who can, it's you."

"You weren't playing hero, Niall." Val took a step closer to him, wishing to reach out and take him in his arms the way he'd always wanted. "I would never have made it from this place were you not here."

"We both know that's not true." Niall closed the distance between them, taking Val's hand in his own and pressing it against his cheek. There was no warmth or substance, all that remained was the memory of him. "I would have liked to have loved you," he said quietly. "Just once. When we weren't trapped in a cage, but I'm glad to have known you. It was a privilege. You will be alright, Valentin, you have fought worse and come out alive."

He could resist no longer, taking Niall into his arms and embracing him in a way the templars never would have allowed. "I love you," he murmured against his hair. "Do not die believing you've done nothing for me, for the circle."

"If it's you saying it, perhaps there is some truth. Before I was taken to the Circle, my mother always said that I was meant for greatness. I hope I haven't disappointed her..."

"She'd be proud," Val assured him, "you've done well." 

"If you see her by some chance, do tell her that I tried my best. But," he grew suddenly seriously, leaning back the embrace while his hands still rested upon his shoulders. "You must make it out of here alive. Do not forget the Litany, you will need it to stand any chance against the blood mages. And..." Another look, long and longing. Even among the troubled tides beneath his features, he'd never looked so at ease. "It is time for us both to be on our way. Be strong, Val."

"I... I will try. Should we meet again, it will not be today. You will not have gone in vain. Go easy into the beyond, you've nothing to wor—"

His words all but sent him on his way. Niall faded in an instant, passing on from this world and to the next.

"May your soul know peace," Val spoke to the air where Niall had been, wrapping his arms tightly around his middle so that the feeling of Niall's embrace would not leave him just yet. "And may your ashes know rest."

[sunfudge]

\\HEADS UP 4.2 SPOILERS TO ANYONE WHO HASNT DONE IT

I have to agree with your stance on the AQ. I almost fooled myself into thinking it wasn’t good when the reality was I thought it was amazing but having to see so much grief throughout the quest knocked me out (in a good way). From the first 10 minutes where it was completely reasonable to see Navia break down after staying strong in front of the victims of the sudden flood, and her final bittersweet goodbye to Silver and Melus - wow. I’ve seen people deal with grief and if anything Navia was so damn strong for keeping it together. I’d be bawling for days girl like huh. And if you think about it, with how Fontaine has a strong theme of deception (like everyone is hiding something about themselves), isn’t it refreshing to have Navia who is so incredibly genuine and earnest with her intentions and her want to help everyone? I love her a lot.

Then we were hit with the gradual masking of Furina?

Like - we almost had her open up but then it was revealed we were in the Opera house. This was made worse later on when the traveller saw her inner dialogue during that moment was “surely I’m allowed to put myself first for the first time in 400 years?”. As the human side of Focalor, Furina was absolutely outstanding and selfless. Ohhh my God and the way Furina thinks of her suffering as a kind of “price” or sacrifice to pay for saving Fontaine? Direct contrast to earlier dialogue about how Silver and Melus should not be seen as a mere prices?? FURINA YOU’VE DONE SO MUCH MY LOVE

As much as it pains me that we didn’t get to see her at the end of the AQ to check on her, I guess it makes sense? If you were performing for 400 years and you finally get a chance to crawl away from watchful eyes like you wanted, I think it’s reasonable to just. Want to go away for a bit. But God I really really wish her all the best with finally being allowed to live as herself and not as someone else.

There’s so much to talk about I can’t condense it all. Even small details like a random audience member saying “wait, the death sentence? Isn’t that too harsh? Her only sin was making us!” made my heart clench. Furina begging her people to believe her because she is terrified that they will drown since her facade has been the only thing keeping the flood at bay. AND she will blame herself for not doing enough. Neuvi going “after 500 years, you think I would have the heart to proclaim them as guilty?” Focalor’s goodbye to Furina being “you can now live as a human like I always wished we could.” OUGHHH

Anyway. Wow. I just,,, yeah. I really really liked the quest in all honesty. I needed a good cry and I got it. To each their own opinion, and everyone has a right to not like things in the game. But personally to me this was fantastic.

I'm so glad you sent me this because I'm about to totally lose it about the archon quest in this reply.

Below are further spoilers for the 4.2 archon quest

I totally agree with you on the grief thing, and upon reflection and sleeping on it I think the fact I did this quest all in one continuous sitting over the course of hours added to my previous mixed feelings, just because it was SO MUCH sadness in such a short space of time that it kinda made me associate the quest with feelings of sorrow.

Had I completed the archon quests in parts, having gone away and came back to it later, I feel I'd have handled it better, but I can't stop myself from doing archon quests in one sitting, it's in my DNA to complete them all at once LOL

Navia's bit at the start... Oh it had been about 20 minutes into me playing and I was crying buckets. Full on sobbing.

I play in English and when I tell you her voice actress had RENT DUE because her crying, her voice, everything just broke my heart I literally was like okay great it's not even been half an hour and I'm broken for her, what the fuck.

As soon as I saw Silver and Melus weren't with her I teared up cause I was like they're dead, aren't they? And then I just kept crying anytime they were brought up, and then when they saved her from the primordial sea :(

Navia is a very good character, I love her, she's so authentic and genuine and strong it's made me wanna pull with her purely to spoil her because it's what she deserves.

On to Furina, my heart has ACHED for her since we found out the truth.

I always loved her, and I always thought she did have some sort of plan ever since she reacted with such anger to Arlecchino's insinuation that she was ignoring the prophecy and doing nothing. It was raw real anger from Furina which of course we now understand. It contrasted so harshly with what the game was showing us her acting like, plus Neuvi saying that she is 'taking the prophecy very seriously', that made me go 'we do not know the whole truth', and I was right but FUCK it was in a way I'd never have been able to predict.

WHEN I REALIZED WE HAD TRANSPORTED HER TO THE OPERA HOUSE I STARTED CRYING AGAIN I wanted to wrap her in a blanket and protect her. I totally understand why the trial took place, from the perspective of the other characters there is an impending doomsday that will wipe out the entirety of Fontaine's population, from their perspective it made sense and was justified because they weren't hearing Furina's thoughts and thought crucial information pertaining to the prophecy was being withheld from them, both them and Furina had the shared goal of protecting Fontaine - but that didn't mean that whole section didn't hurt like Hell to complete.

She thought her world was falling apart, after so many years of dedicating herself entirely to this role in order to save her nation she thought it was ALL over and those 146848 scenes (WHICH btw when it changed to THAT number of scenes I was BAWLING, what a hard hitting way to show her continuous suffering in a way that's so impactful) were for nothing.

You know I didn't even realize the Silver and Melus/Furina price thing until you just said it, oh mannnnnnn this fucking archon quest.

It's sore, but you're right - showing her at the end of the quest and us speaking with her would not have made sense. Giving her space after that made the most sense narratively but it definitely also made me feel like we had no sort of closure on her wellbeing (I'm sure her story quest gives us some of that) so that also added to my pain at the end because I was like ... The last time I saw her she was walking through the city as those people yelled 'the prophecy was wrong', and I hope she knows that the prophecy was only 'wrong' BECAUSE of what she did. The prophecy was wrong because of YOU, my love

She deserves a happy and peaceful life doing all the things she loves from now on.

Also, I presume she's mortal now? I'm sure Focalors made the point of saying her existence was what increased Furina's lifespan so like - now she's a whole mortal human being...

There's so many thoughts that have come from this quest.

The Oceanid reveal was so good, like you said that NPC saying her sin was making them, and now believing she'll be sentenced to death for it... Oh god.

The begging, her saying 'believe me I AM your archon' the slow descent into her crying because she believes it's all over when in reality she was FINALLY at the end, the fact she never knew when the end was coming she didn't know this was meant to happen she wasn't aware this was finally the end of her pain

Oh Neuvillette declaring the citizens of Fontaine innocent is one of my favourite moments in the entire game now.

Having had time to process it, I agree, this is one of the best stories in the game and it was told incredibly well and the whole thing was so fucking emotional I felt like I got battered after I finished it.

[umbrx]

have u ever think to ask AI to draw doffy and viola together?

Short answer: no.

Long answer: I will assume this comes from genuine curiosity and/or frustration that there isn't too much art of Doffy and Viola as a ship. If so, I understand the wish to see more art of them together, but have never experienced the frustration by the lack of it. In my opinion, there are two ways to go about it:

Commissioning an artist to draw the ship and paying for their services.

Learning to draw and doing it yourself.

AI (overused term as it's not actual artificial intelligence, but I digress) is a very controversial topic, but as someone who is working on machine learning models myself, I am more than aware what goes on with it. I can't change your personal opinion on it, dear anon, but I'll try to make my case as to why I'm against it and its use, and hopefully discourage you from doing it yourself.

Firstly, machine learning models demand training sets. In the case of generative adversarial networks or GANs, their primary training sets consist of images. Thousands upon thousands of images.

Where are these images from? Artists; their art posted on the internet. Their depictions of art, personal interpretations, redrawings, original characters, art of favourite characters, nature, commissions for others, photos, etc.

Is permission to use these images ever sought from them? No. Images are stored into datasets on big servers with no questions asked whatsoever and the models are trained on them. Same as when you google something and save the picture to your personal computer. By all means, that is already copyright infringement if you don't have permission from the artist to download their work. Just because it's online, doesn't imply you're meant to take it. You wouldn't take fruit from a fruit stand before paying for it, right? Hopefully.

The problem with art generative models like Midjourney, DALL-E and others is the fact they're trained on illegally obtained artwork, and they're making profit off of it (we can debate back and forth on the costs of keeping the servers running, whether it would be better if they were free for use, etc, etc, but let's not go down that rabbit hole — still no). Each one demands a subscription for you to use their services. Sure, the art they generate is very fast and it is good, but it lacks character. There's a reason why we can tell something is "AI generated" or not.

Secondly, I respect the craft. Being an artist means constant improvement, no matter if you're a professional or a hobbyist. It requires hours upon hours of practice, be it self-taught or through education. It requires time, money, patience and a strong will to continue pursuing it. It's blood, sweat and tears, just like other artistic crafts. Not to mention how soulful art is when done by a human being. An art style (while people can try and copy it) is something unique. It's an expression of an individual human being, and their art – no matter what the subject is, is something you get to see once in a lifetime. It's a collection of thoughts, emotions and ideas brought to life through dedicated effort over time. It mustn't be devalued just because computers can generate something faster.

I can go on and on about this, in all honesty, but I'll stop myself here. Again, your actions are your own and I can't tell you what to do and what not to do. I'd always opt for commissioning an artist whose style I like. I'm guaranteed to get a unique, never seen before piece of art that I know I'll love. If I were in no position to pay someone, then I'd get to it and start drawing myself. There's tons of tutorials on how to learn to draw from people who have spent years perfecting their art. There are plenty of tips around so you don't make all the mistakes they did. There are whole communities out there to help you out to improve. Not all shortcuts in life should be pursued.

[ladyimaginarium]

when ethel cain said "i always knew that in the end, no one was coming to save me, so i just prayed and i keep praying and praying" & "god loves you but not enough to save you" & "so, baby girl, good luck taking care of yourself" & "god doesn't love you, not like i do" & "you and me against the world [...] we had nothing but each other, you were my whole world" & "your mama calls me sometimes to see if i'm doing well and i'd lie to her and say that i'm doing fine when, really, i'd kill myself to hold you one more time, and it hurts to miss you but it's worse to know that i'm the reason you won't come home" & "you know, i still wait at the edge of town, praying straight to god that maybe you'll come back around, i cry everyday and the bottles make it worse 'cause you were the only one i was never scared to tell i hurt [...] and you might never come back home, and i may never sleep at night, but god, i hope you're doing fine out there, i just pray that you're alright, and i feel so alone, and i feel so alone out here [...] and i feel so alone without you, i'm so alone" & "i'd hold the gun if you asked me to, but if you love me like you say you do, would you ask me to?" & "i tried to be good, am i no good, am i no good, am i no good?" & "i just wanted to be yours, can i be yours, can i be yours, can i be yours?" & "but in these motel rooms, i started to see you differently, 'cause for the first time since i was a child, i could see a man who wasn't angry" & "i thought good guys get to be happy, i'm not happy, i am poison in the water and unhappy" & then "preacher's saying god will save me, if god is real, he's a fucking bitch" & "i didn't ask to be this crazy but since we're here, i'll give them a show" & "if you try to hurt me, i won't stop you, but there's something you should know, it's that my daddy's fucking crazy and always ready to blow" & "the first boy i ever loved was a brother i never had, i thought, with him, maybe i'd make it, maybe it'd be half as bad, spent my night under the covers just wishing he was there, draw his portrait in my diary just to hold when i got scared, now i'm fucked up and i'm nasty, but they say i make it look good" & "what's gonna scare me when i've seen it all? [...] if i can't live, can i just fucking die?" & "am i not good enough for you? is there something wrong with me? baby, don't you lie to me, am i just not what you want? am i just not what you need? is there someone in your heart that keeps you gone away from me? is she prettier than me? is her skin softer than mine? can she give you what i can't? the thing i cry for every night?" & "i think about you everyday, 'cause i love you more than i thought i could [...] 'cause i don't hate you like i know i should, was i not good enough for you? was there something wrong with me? i just cry by myself at night but you'll never know and you'll never see" & "sometimes you make me wanna put my fucking head through the wall, sometimes i wonder if i ever even knew you at all" & "and we've been cursed since the start, jesus didn't want us [...] and fuck the cops and fuck god and fuck this town for ruining us" & "in the corner, on my birthday, you watched me dancing right there in the grass, i was too young to know that some types of love could be bad" & "you poor thing, sweet mourning lamb, there's nothing you can do, it's already been done" & "bless the children, each and every one come to know their god through some senseless act of violence" & "stop, stop, stop, make it stop, stop, make it stop, make it stop, i've had enough" & "i am the face of love's rage" & "and i spend my life watching it go by from the sidelines, and, god, i've tried, but i think it's about time i put up a fight" & "i forgive it all as it comes back to me" & "dancing with the windows open, i can't let go when something's broken, it's all i know, and it's all i want now" i& just. okayokayokayokay okay yeah alright hahahaha lmaoooo im& totally fine i& just

[ghostfaey]

La sparizione - chapter thirteen

Summary: Plagued by the ghosts of her past, Riona has hidden away for centuries. That is until the call for help of a certain seer finds her and begs her to save her brother. Not knowing how her life will change, she finds her way to Volterra, directly in front of the leaders of the Volturi.

Trigger Warning: Violence, SA, blood, Death of Children, Murder, just some nasty things

<<<chapter twelve chapter fourteen>>>

"Absolutely not!"

I roll my eyes at Caius as he once again holds a tantrum about something he does not like. Gods if he only would act his age for once. 

"I do understand your concern brother, I truly do. But do you really want to keep her here against her will? You know as much as I that it will not work.", Aro speaks. He sits at the table, looking at his blonde brother with raised eyebrows. 

For now I decided to keep quiet, letting the brothers try and settle this. Aro told me he would try to make Caius understand but we both knew from the beginning that it would be no easy task. 

I look at my hand which lays in Aros, laying upon the table in front of us. His slender hands covered in black leather gloves. It was him who came up with the idea. I could tell that he didn't like it, not being able to directly touch me. Especially not after he finally got the chance to feel my skin against his. But it makes me more comfortable to be around him and he knows.

Even after our intimate moment in his office I still cannot lay myself bare before him. While I might have said that it has nothing to do with trust, it does not fully live up to the truth. Talking about my past, even thinking about it, makes my skin crawl, my throat thighten and my stomach ache. Not once has word of my past ever left my lips. Letting Aro see in my mind, him being the first person to ever know, it made my bond to him stronger. The way he held onto me like a dying man, the loving words he whisperd into my ear in a language I do not understand led me to think that maybe I can truly trust him. Maybe the bond we share led us together and now it is on us to built our relationship. And so while I am most absolutely sure that Aro would not hold my past against me, I cannot stop thinking the way he would treat me different. The way they all would treat me different. Taking parts of what has happend and keeping it alive in the present time is not something I would ever want. It is over. It has happened. And I will not be able to ever go back and undo what has been done. I will not ever be able to get back what has been taken from me. Never.

"Riona."

A voice as gentle as the mild summer breeze wakes me from my thoughts. Marcus looks at me with a soft smile but the worry in his eyes is ever so evident. I do not wish to bring him sorrow, he does not deserve it.

"If this is what you wish we will not keep you here. You are free to go." My stomach falls and my heart aches as I hear the slight tremor in his voice as he speaks. This is not what I wanted. Not at all. 

"I know what this looks like and I know your fear." I let go of Aros hand, putting my whole focus on choosing the right words.

"But I must return home. I have been gone far too long and there are things that need to be taken care of. Besides, I never truly prepared to stay in Italy for so long. Most of my things are still in Ireland and I would very much like to retrieve them."

"So you are saying you will return to us?", Caius asks, his voice harsh but in his eyes I can see a glimmer of hope. 

But before I can even answer his question, he already shakes his head, his lips pulled back into a sneer. 

"Why would you? The second we will let you out of our eyes you will be gone forever. And who would blame you, afterall we are simply monsters. Isn't that what you read about us, carina?"

His words are like a hit to the stomach, but I would lie if I'd say that I wasn't already used to it from him. 

Both his brothers glare at him, a silent warning. But I doubt Caius truly cares for what they think. He does not seem to be someone to care much for others thoughts.

"I can't remember that I ever called you a monster. I did however call you a child. And seeing how you are currently behaving I think I was right."

The look on his face is almost funny, clenched jaw, squinted eyes. He is about to get up when Aro lifts his hand, telling him to sit back down.

"Don't Caius, let us stay calm.", he speaks, a slight edge to his voice telling me that our bickering has him annoyed.

"I know that you do not trust me Caius. And I do not hold that against you. It takes time. And I do hope to spend many hours building that trust with you, together." Ruby eyes turn soft as my words finally get through to him. "But you need to take a risk now. You need to let me go. Let me go home Caius, so that I can return to Italy, to you and your brothers fully prepared to stay. So that I do not have to leave again as fast. Please. Trust me just this once."

For a moment he stays quiet, clearly thinking about my words and what to make of them. 

"It is only fair, brother. Afterall we are asking her to leave behind her home to stay with us.", Aro says and Caius' eyes quickly glide over to glance at the raven-haired man before they settle back on me. 

A deep sighs leaves Caius and I know I've won. 

"Fine." His voice is still sharp but it doesn't change the way my eyes light up and a smile lays itself onto my lips. 

"But you will not go alone. You will take guards with you, Alec and Jane for certain and Demetri so he can track you if anything happens. And not for long, a few days if you must, but no longer than a week an-" 

"Thank you, Caius.", I cut him off. "I know how you feel about me leaving, so it means a lot."

He huffs and crosses his arms over his chest. "You would have gone anyway.", he mutters and the way his lower lip pushes forward, almost in a pout, it makes me chuckle.

"Well,", I hear Marcus' deep and soft voice and turn around to face him directly. "now that this is settled we should start to discuss the details. When were you thinking of leaving?"

I lean back, feeling a bit shy now that all of them are intensely watching me, waiting for my answer. 

Truth to be told I had enough time to think about this trip and plan it. I am just not sure if they will like what I have to say. Or better, I know exactly who of them won't be pleased with it.

"That is actually something I wanted to discuss with you.", I speak. They stay quiet, urging me to continue. "I knew that none of you would like me to go to Ireland alone. And I was never thinking about going alone. In fact I had thought that maybe someone of you would like to join me? If that is a possibility. That way I think all of us would feel a bit more comfortable."

By their faces I can tell they were not expecting this. Aros eyebrows shot up high while Caius' mouth is slightly ajar. Only Marcus seems not as taken aback, although still surprised.

"You want someone of us to join you? To go to Ireland? I must say I did not see that coming.", the blonde vampire says while glancing at Aro in a slight accusing way.

Aro notices and holds up his hands, showing his innocence. 

"Do not look at me like that, brother. I had no idea." He glances back at me, clear adoration in his eyes. "Mia bella Riona is still a mystery to me."

Warmth spreads through my body as I smile at him, my hand having a mind of it's own as it finds it's way into his. Without a word he raises our entwisted hands up towards his lips, giving me barely enough time to focus on using my gift before placing a soft kiss on the back of my hand. 

Such a small gesture but it sends my mind ablaze and a slight shudder runs through me. By the way he smirks at me I can tell that he does not need to read my mind to know what he does to me. 

Not fighting against the bond gives me the chance to enjoy the way we slowly built this relationship. It feels natural, instinctive. 

I do not like that none of us got the chance to chose. I always thought it unfair, that some strange call of fate makes us simply fall for someone we do not even know. But then again, what would have happened if it wasn't for our bond? Would I ever had truly gotten to meet those three strange, eccentric, ancient rulers of the vampiric world? I do not think so. Maybe I could have fallen for them even without the bond if I had only had the chance to get close to them.

It is no use to think of the what if's and still I wonder what would have been.

Marcus clears his throat, making me snap out of my thoughts and rip my eyes of Aro. A bit embarrassed, yet still holding Aros hand, I turn my full attention to Marcus who also wears a soft smile. 

"I think it should not be too bad of an issue if one of us were to go with you. Two are enough to handle simple trials and paperwork, for only a few simple days. If I remember correctly there are not too many trials planned for next week. Would that not be an option, Aro?", he speaks but before Aro can answer Caius cuts him off.

"You forgot about the current complication that has to be taken care of." His voice is low, the look in his eyes serious. A fast gaze into my direction, before his eyes settle back on Marcus. I do not miss the shift of mood in the room. They are hiding something from me. "Right now is not a good timing for one of us to go on a trip. Not to mention that our best guards will be gone on a mission soon."

I raise my eyebrows at him as none of them think to explain to me what he is talking about. 

"Complication? Strange, I don't think any of you mentioned anything." 

Aro tries to hide the irritation that is written all over his face. I can tell it isn't because of me but because of his brothers carelessness as they clearly wanted to keep this hidden from me. 

A smile too sweet to be genuine places itself on his lips as he turns to me.

"Do not worry, cara mia. Just a little turmoil, nothing we haven't seen before." Sensing his lies, my annoyance grows. Then again, do I have the right to get involved? I don't think they are obligated to tell me.  Of course I do not like the way they simply lie to me and I'd much rather have them tell me straight up that it is none of my business, which it really isn't. 

"As much as I hate you lying straight to my face, I don't think I care enough to start an argument over it. So I will just forget about it. For now." 

Aro squeezes my hand sending me an apologetic glance.

"As much as I respect you brother, I do not think that this 'complication' requires all of our presence.", Marcus chips in again. His blonde brother does not seem pleased by the way his hands clench. "In fact I am most sure that both you and Aro would suffice in this matter, seeing as neither me nor my gift would be much of an asset in this situation."

I whip my head in his direction as I realize the meaning behind his words and he sends me a gentle smile. 

"And dear Riona promised to show me the green island she calls home."

The corners of my mouth lift upwards. I did not think he would remember our conversation. Things like this usually get lost in the memories, especially if you have lived for a few hundred years; or more. 

As happy as it makes me that he wants to join me, I seem to have forgotten about the angry blonde. For he does not enjoy what Marcus just indicated. 

"What makes you think it should be you to join her, brother?" His voice more a hiss like that of a snake as he slowly gets up from his seat again. I certainly wonder if the lack of a gift makes him have to compensate with his size. He always seems to try to make himself look bigger, like an animal. He must realize it is not working, especially not since Marcus is about a head taller than him. 

"Caius please, keep calm.", Aro speaks. "I know how heated you can get but try to stay civilized. I do not condone any harmful behaviour in this room. I do not want to have to replace furniture again. Sit down." 

Surprisingly Caius does as he is told and I am amazed by the authority Aro holds, even over his own coven brothers. Truly impressive.

"So, let's talk and figure out how we will go about this. Calmly. Shall we?"

Red strands of hair get blown into my face as the wind of Caius' vanishing hits me. Confused I look at the seat where he sat just seconds ago.

The faint sound of a door being shut loudly is being heard and I can't help but to feel bad. It was not my plan to upset him so greatly. I knew he would not be thrilled about the idea of me leaving. And now that it won't even be him to accompany me I am not surprised that he is angry about the decision. But to see him leaving just like that makes me feel somewhat guilty.

"Do not worry, dear Riona.", a gentle voice calms me. "Caius' anger is like a storm. Fast and ever destructive. But once his anger spiked it will be over soon." I look at him, not truly believing his words. 

"I am not sure, normally when he is angry he does throw around with poisoned words. He does not just simply leave." Truthfully I am not used for him to simply leave when he does get angry. This is different. "I will go speak to him."

I get up swiftly to follow him in whichever direction he took, as a soft touch on my shoulder stops me. I turn around to see Aro, a concerned look on his face. 

"Cara mia, do be careful. Caius is  unpredictable when he gets angry. We would not want for you to get hurt." Marcus nods his head in the background, eyebrows knitted together, mimicking his brothers worried look.

Laying my hand atop of his covered hand I try to assure him of my safety. "I will be fine. I know Caius would not hurt me, no matter how upset he is with me. He can't."

With that I leave them both behind, in search of the hot headed brother. His scent is easy for me to catch and with the castle slowly getting familiar I know exactly where his anger took him. 

As I get closer to my destination I can hear the familiar sound of a brush against canvas. I am not surprised at all to find him hear. This is his safe place after all. I feel bad too disturb him but I do not want him to sulk alone. I do not want him to think his feelings are not important. 

I slowly open the door to his art room and as I do so fully I can see the black blazer he has been wearing, partially ripped on the floor, just like his tie. I look up, my eyes searching for him in the room as they finally fall upon him. His back turned towards me, brush in one hand, oil palette in the other. His strokes are frantic, messy almost. I have never seen him paint like this.

I step into the room, closing the door softly behind me before slowly moving closer to him. 

He does not seem to know I am here. That or he is ignoring me, which would make sense, seeing as we are talking about Caius.

I try to sneak a glance at the canvas he is violating with his brush but all I see are angry strokes of red and golden color.

"Caius." My voice rips him out of whatever frenzy he was in. The brush stops midair before he slowly lets his arm drop, although he does not turn towards me.

"I know you are angry. Please talk to me."

"I don't know why you would think I am angry. I am not. Now would you leave me to my art.", he quips. His voice sounds strained, he is holding back. Lifting the brush again but not yet painting. Waiting for me to leave. 

"You left without a word, normally you would have said something, anything at all. You are not the one to stay quiet. So no, I won't leave." 

He stays quiet, still hoping for me to leave him be. I do not know why he would think I will simply leave, he should know by now that I can be just as stubborn as him if I wish to be. 

I take a few steps closer to him until I am close enough to touch him. I reach out to him, softly placing my hand on his shoulder. I can feel him tense up under my touch and I can't tell why. 

"Caius please. I know you are angry at me but I cannot apologize to you if you keep ignoring me."

"I am not angry at you!" He almost screams as he finally turns around, shaking of my hand in the process. His brush just like his palette clatter to the ground, spraying color over the marble floor.

"I could never be angry at you, nor upset, or furious or anything of the matter! It drives me mad that no matter what you do I cannot stop to feel as if I was the monster you make me out to be! I try and try but no matter what I do I drive you away! And I hate that I actually care!"

Silence comes over us both and all I can do is stare into his eyes that are so full of hate that is not directed at me but himself. Did I do this to him? Or has it always been like this, only surfacing now?

"I don't think I can follow.", I quietly say. He sights as he drives his hand through his long hair, messing up the neatly silken strands of gold. He closes his eyes and I can see how he tries to calm himself, finding the right words.

"It has not been like this with Athendora.", he whispers. A sinking feeling in my stomach makes me fall back a step. It is not like I did not know about her or his brothers wifes. But seeing as they are long gone I did not think of it as important. They had a life before me, just as I have. But hearing those words, not understanding what he truly means makes me feel pain in a way I am not used to. 

"Well I am not her. Do you want me to apologize for not being like her? Because I will not. If you expected someone like her then you had better not sent her away all those years ago." 

Not a second passes after the words left my mouth, are his hands strongly gripping my shoulders. I can hear the cracking of my skin under the pressure but I don't say a word. He doesn't let me.

"No, you don't understand." His eyes frantically search mine, pure ruby red, no hint of darkness. "Sending her away was the right thing to do because she is not like you. I loved her, deeply. I would have done the most horrible things for her. I would have killed for her. I did kill for her. Over and over again."

I still don't understand what he is trying to tell me, his words only confusing me further. 

He is searching my eyes as if the words he is so desperately looking for are hidden inside them. 

I think if it wasn't for the strong grip on me, the tension in the air, the emotions in both of us, I would notice that this is the closest we have ever been without throwing words of hatred against each other. Without trying to rile each other up. 

"I would have killed for her. But I wouldn't have died for her.", he continues. "For you I would. I would die for you. You'd need only say a word."

In moments like this I'd wish my heart to beat again. Then maybe he would hear how it beats for him. 

"This is what angers me. Because I wish I wouldn't care for you. Especially since I can't seem to keep you close. I seem to not be able to give you what my brothers give you. Everything I do drives you further away from me."

His hands slowly let go, realizing the damage that has been done. 

"I was angry that you would chose them over me. But see, now that I think about it I can't even be mad about it. Because naturally you would chose someone who does not hurt you. And I curse this bond for chaining you to me. For as much as I hate to admit it, I know you would leave if you could."

He brings distance between us two, and too shocked by the things he just told me I let him. 

Because how would one react? I have never experienced him being vulnerable. I did not think he could be. Not with me at least. 

I though the bond would make it impossible for us to hurt one another. But again I was proven wrong. 

"I do not think you are a monster, Caius. I never did. I just do not understand why you say or do certain things. That is what keeps me at distance. The fear of getting hurt. But now it is me who hurt you. It was not my intention, I promise."

He chuckles as he shakes his head in disbelief. I can see how he tries to get his facade back up. 

"Hurt me? I don't think you could even if you tried.", he murmurs. "I did this to myself."

"Stop acting like that." Now he looks at me, eyebrows drawn together as he does not seem to understand what I am on about. 

"You always act as if nothing could ever hurt you. But I know, Caius. I can feel it.", I explain. "This bond between us, we all though it would make us magically fall for each other. But I think the only thing it did is giving us a nudge in the right direction. It still takes work. I realized that now."

Making my way over to him, not giving him the chance to move away, I take one of his cold hands into mine. The sensation of feeling his skin against mine as overwhelming as ever, I do not think it will ever not be. I cannot imagine getting used to this.

"I know you don't like me leaving for Ireland. Especially since you have to stay behind, but I will return to you. I will return and then we can work on us." 

The look on his face tells me that he is still skeptical, of course, how could he not. We are immortals having lived for hundreds of years. Compared to the little time we've spend together we do barely know each other. 

"So that we won't hurt each other again. Or at least not as often anymore.", I send him a smile. 

His eyes glance down onto our entwined hands. Softly putting pressure onto mine, fingertips moving against marble skin.

"I do not understand why you would even want that. I do not know why you still try, even after all the things I said, after all the things I did. You know who I am and still you want to come back? It is not simply that you need to? You would really return to us, to me, even if you had the chance of freedom? Why" I have never heard him speak so quietly, voice so weak. Just now he reminds me of a little boy. And oh how lost he sounds, it hurt my damned soul.

"Because you, like all of us, you are allowed to make mistakes. I would never expect you be perfect because neither am I."

"Allow me to disagree on that, mia tesoro.", he cuts me off as his eyes find mine and the smirk that slightly plays around his lips almost knocks me off my feet. I takes me a second to get back to what I wanted to say. I slightly shake my head before continuing.

"Because we are not perfect. And because I feel for you, for all of you, in different ways, for different reasons. But all the same. I feel for you, Caius. Deeply."

Admitting that, not only to him but to myself, has taken me quiet a while. But I am quiet alright with admitting it now. I do not want to call it love. Not yet. But to say that there is nothing between us would be blatant lie. And what does it help. I can't stop myself from feeling the things I do, bond or not.

He glows. Radiant shining like the stars. I'd wish for him to see himself like this. Not at all the monster that he tries to play for me. I'd wish for him to see and capture this moment in a painting because I do not ever want to forget. Then again I am not sure I can. 

I am sure, looking back, I will think myself crazy. But right now, in this moment, it does feel right. And isn't it always about finding the right moment? So for once, I do not fight against the way my body moves by itself. I do not fight against my hands as they let go of his, and instead cup his face. And I do not fight against my body moving closer to his, fitting itself against his chest as if this is what we were made for.

I do not fight against the way my lips touch themself against his.

This is what being lit on fire must feel like. An unmistakable warmth that I have not felt in ages, not since death has taken me, moves through me. As if the sun itself had blessed me with her kiss. And I swear, if this would be my end, if this warmth, this fire, would be the death of me, I would not stop. Not ever. 

His hands grip onto me like a dying man and I get pulled closer, closer even if there is no space left between us. His smell fogs up my thoughts and now there is only him. For once I know what it must be like to feel my gift. For I forget where I am or who I am. Right now there is only him. Only him.

As I slowly break myself away from his lips, I do so with reluctance. I hear him take in a deep breath as he leans his forehead against mine. Eyes still closed, lingering in the moment. A desperate wish for time to stand still.

"Now I even less want you to go.", he whispers and I chuckle.

"It is only a few days. I will be with you again soon enough, I give you my word."

He holds my body against his for a few moments longer. And I do not dare remove myself from him. For I am scared this peace I feel right now will be gone once we separate.  

So I let him hold me. Holding on to this peace, hoping it will last forever even if I know it won't. 

[bandedbulbussnarfblat]

sometimes, i really wish i didn't live in the bible belt.

i've been atheist my whole life. or at least, once i got old enough to question things instead of just blindly accept what my parents told me. though i was never good at that either, i was one of those kids that had to know things. i never bought into the tooth fairy or easter bunny, and i thought santa was just a game we all played and pretended to believe it. the idea of god felt the same to me, like some thing we were just pretending to believe in

except the grownups (and even some of the kids) actually believed it. so i went along with it, because my mom made me go to church with her, so it wasn't like i had a choice. but it never felt true to me, though i tried to make it feel real

i was 11 when i realized i never would and never could. i had tried to force myself to believe, but it never worked. i knew, deep inside, that there was no higher power. more so, i knew i couldn't keep spending my life living a lie. i knew i'd never be the believer i pretended to be.

and that scared me. not because the idea of hell or anything, but because i'd sat through more than one sermon and heard about how non-believers would burn in hell with the sinners. and my church 'family' seemed to agree. so that let me know that these people who called themselves my friends would be fine with seeing me burn in hell for all eternity, just because i didn't believe in the same invisible man in the sky as them

i didn't even believe in hell, but just imagine that. knowing that the people you've known your whole life believe you deserve to be punished forever for not believing what they believe. i'd already spent my entire life feeling like an outsider (multiple undiagnosed mental illnesses/disorders) so when i realized i could never be what these people wanted me to be, that i would never be able to convince myself to believe, it terrified me.

so much so that i got 'saved' in front of the congregation the next sunday. i pretended to believe as hard as i could. hell, i even wrote fake entries into my diary just in case anyone found it and read it

i was so afraid to admit i didn't believe. but so angry that i had to pretend. so i questioned things and made people uncomfortable. eventually, i had enough and said i was atheist. i was more angry than scared by then, fueled by teenage angst and hormones and the undiagnosed depression/anxiety disorders

in the end, I stopped going to church when my mother stopped forcing me. but the damage had already been done. i'd spent years trying to shove myself into a box i didn't fit it, for people that frankly didn't deserve that kind of sacrifice on my part

and there are still people who hear that i don't believe and judge me. who try to convert me. who think of me as less than them bc i don't believe what they believe.

i don't know why i'm thinking of this today. maybe bc my country is hurtling into evangelical christian fascism and that scares me. but i think growing up like that gave me some low-key religious trauma

and now I'll have to go back to work soon. where i'll have coworkers who ask me about where i go to church, who try to invite me to there's. to students who sometimes ask me questions about religion, and I have to say i'm "not religious" bc if i say i'm an atheist there's a good chance parents will complain about me teaching their child

i've literally heard a coworker being gossiped about and mistrusted bc he's openly atheist. people blatantly admitting they don't want to work with him. so i stay in my lane and stick to myself and try not to engage with these people beyond a professional level

i have to sit in anger, when we're forced to do something like pray in school, something that isn't supposed to be legal. hell, our superintendent makes us all pray with him when we have our yearly meetings

add to that i'm pretty far left when it comes to politics, i'm queer, and neurodivergant i don't feel like there's a place for me here. i live in a very conservative area. i'm talking majority trump fans conservative. but i'm trapped, too poor to escape. and it eats at me sometimes, being around all these people who if they knew me, would condemn me. even if i believe in letting people believe or disbelieve whatever they want and minding my own damn business about it

sometimes, i really wish i didn't live in the bible belt