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#i know im probably gonna get shit for this take
jockwrites · 24 hours
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DIE FOR ME - p.b
warnings: sexual content (reader receiving, strap LOL) angst if you squint, cursing, pet names? i guess?
a/n: not spell checked & english isn’t my first language, lmk how i did :-)
"good God."
those were the last words you heard Paige say before she stormed out of your apartment.
previously, the two of you had been arguing over the fact that for these past two weeks, you'd been suspecting cheating.
today, the topic had been brought back up when she came to your apartment late after practice. even though she'd told you she would be there immediately after. honestly, you just couldn't understand what's been keeping her away from you so fucking late.
you wanna decide to call it a night after she just stormed the fuck out, but you need to find out what's been happening. that's when you decide to find out for yourself.
you put on a jacket over your shorts and tee, grab your keys and head out.
while walking, you decide to check her location. and what do you know, it’s off.
this pissed you cleannnn off. & with your pace becoming faster and faster with each second that passes, her dorms come into view. you don’t waste a second getting into that building.
you hurrily walk to the elevator, eager to get up to that room.
as soon as you make it, not only do you knock once, but twice. and not a single peep heard from behind that door.
as you begin to knock again, the door opens. and it’s her. you’re outraged, angry, so many words to describe your feelings as of right now.
“why the hell is your location off,” you bickered, “and why didn’t you answer the door when i knocked the first TWO times?”
paige just stood there. she didn’t say a word, and this is what made you more frustrated.
as you’re going on and on about how furious you are, paige grabs you by the arm, pulling you into the apartment. she doesn’t say a word to you.
she pushes you against the wall, kissing your neck. and this, this put you into a trance you probably wouldn’t be able to get yourself out of.
her touch becomes more aggressive as you push on her chest, trying to get her to stop. right now you’re serious. but she’s irresistible
“are you pushing me away?” paige whispers into your neck.
“so now you wanna talk..” you scoff, breathing heavy.
“there’s nothing to say. you’re just delusional. you get these petty accusations, put them onto me, then expect me to just sit there and take it.” she slides her hand dangerously low down your shorts.
“i don’t expe..” you’re cut off by her fingers sliding into you.
“i don’t understand why you wanna start shit so bad,” her words sharp, vibrating into your neck as her kisses go lower and her pace increasing. “because if you want me to be a ‘bitch’, i can.”
“you just..” she grabs your right boob, groping as her fingers curl into you while kissing your jawline, leaving hickeys that’ll probably be there for the next day or two. “you just think shit is a game. it isn’t.”
“paige.. that’s not-“ you moan breathlessly, your words cut off by her lips colliding with yours.
“no no.. i know exactly what you’re trying to do.”
you love it when she’s like this. all mad & messed up when it comes to you, damn.
“maybe we should just drop it.” you begged, the pleasure and anger she’s bringing to you becoming overstimulating. you don’t know if she’s mad or horny. maybe both.
“you’re such a fucking brat,” she jeered, “you start shit but can’t finish it.”
her fingers are now pumping faster, her other hand coming up to the side of your neck. she’s practically choking you.
arguing and sex isn’t something you thought you’d been missing out on, guess you were wrong.
“fuck. paige. im sorry, i wasn’t trying to.”
“there’s no time for apologies. you did this shit.” she huffs, pulling her fingers out of you.
she licks them clean, looking you dead in the eyes. you’re left with an unfinished orgasm and now you’re aching for her touch. all that’s left is to see what’s she gonna do next.
“go.” she tempted.
“what? where?”
“in the fucking room. go.”
you walk to the room, opening the door. you see her messy bed, clothes on the floor, shoes everywhere and her phone. the phone you’ve been eager to check.
you sit on the bed, taking off your jacket. you slip off your shoes and throw them in a random corner while waiting for paige.
she walks in the room with nothing but a sports bra and white basketball shorts. she looks good, but heated.
she starts to walk toward you slowly with that look. that look, as if you’re some kind of prey.
“you done being a brat?” she whispers.
“i wasn’t being a brat in the first fucking place,” you sassed. “you’re just crazy.”
that’s when she walks over, pushing you down onto the bed. she’s hovering over you, angry and tempted.
“you thinks it’s okay to just act like a bitch all the time? accusing me of shit you know damn well i haven’t done?” now she’s mad. you’ve pushed her to her limits.
“take them off” she snarled, her eyes roaming to your shorts.
you quickly abide, slipping off your shorts. you already know the timing she’s on.
she takes off hers as well, revealing the purple strap harnessed to her.
“what. is that.” you panted. she’s never fucked you with a strap-on before, her fingers and mouth is just enough for you.
“what do you think it is?” she’s trying to be funny but you’ve never experienced anything like this before. you’re a virgin to “dick.”
“i’ve never- done this before.” you manage to breathe out. even though it’s scary, you want it. you want it to be with her, nobody else.
“you wanna do it? we don’t have to baby.” she gazes at you softly. it’s so attractive how she can go from mean to sweet. you love it.
“yeah, but only with you.” and as soon as those words left your mouth, her eyes went from a bright blue to grey.
she pulls your panties down your legs, revealing your soaked pussy.
“so wet for me already baby,” she purred, “not like this for anybody else hmm?”
“no, never.” you breathed as paige rubbed the tip of the plastic over your wet clit.
“fuck,” she urged “you know you can be a bitch sometimes?” she slides the strap into you, going at a slow pace.
“fuck- mm, i know pai..” you can’t manage to get words out at this point. the pleasure is unbearable.
as her pace speeds up, she grabs your legs, pulling them over her shoulders & around her neck.
as she hovers over you while fucking you senseless in missionary, she pulls her right arm over to rub your clit.
“you think i’d do this with another girl? huh?” she groans.
“HOLY SHIT. paige oh my-“ you whine.
“fuck,” she says, her pace speeding up. “you think im out here fucking other bitches senseless?”
she speeds up, pounding into you with the purple plastic. she removes her hand from your clit, inserting the thumb she used between your lips.
“fuck paige! shit im gonna cum” you moan.
“answer me. you think im doing that shit?” she growls.
she starts to go faster and faster, pumping in and out of you like a mad man.
“no pai- FUCK!” you panted.
“based on those fucking accusations,” she heaved, “you seem to be pretty stuck on that fucking- fuck. stuck on that ‘cheating’ shit.” she groaned. with every second that passes, she speeds up. seems like she’s angry.
“paige. im gonna CUM. OHSHIT” you whimper. the pleasure is starting to become overwhelming.
“then cum baby.” she leans down, whispering in your ear.
paige speeds up more and more, hitting the spot that makes you release all over “her.”
“you okay baby?” she says, collapsing beside you.
“you’re good at that.” you breathed.
she turns over to look at you, pushing your hair behind your ear.
“i love you, so much. you see the shit i just did? wouldn’t be caught dead doing that to someone else. i’d die for you.”
a/n: hi im stopping here bc idk what else to write. this isn’t rlly that good so if u have requests or suggestions (constructive criticism) i’d be happy to take them! ty for reading if u even made it this far, byebye
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amouthfulofopals · 4 months
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I think there is kinda something to be said about how tumblr will go "oh yeah we love and accept trans men! but don't forget, the trans man reading this, to feel constantly guilty over your identity, always triple check everything you do in case you're offending someone halfway across the planet whom you will never meet, never forget you were Born A Woman and therefore Privileged (???), never project yourself onto things unless the majority approve of it, and also we're going to use neurodivergent and transmasc in derogatory ways"
like you're not slick. we know you don't really like us. just because we're men (or masc aligned) doesn't mean you get to take out your frustration with masculinity on us.
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hella1975 · 1 year
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it's been pointed out on here before that a lot of terf arguments are actually rooted in sexist idealology that feminists fought and died to unnormalise decades ago and that's its own kettle of fish but one thing i also find very frustrating about this so called 'radical' feminism is that it's so... defeatist? like the moment you categorically label an entire section of society as Bad and Inherently Evil then there's also the implication that nothing can be done about it, and it completely takes all accountability away. saying all men are evil is just another way of saying boys will be boys. he raped her because he's a man. he hit her because he's a man. he didn't listen because he's a man - it's almost offensively oversimplified. there's no point trying to fix this issue in society because men are just Like That, okay! so now what? it's not like they're going anywhere, so you just accept that 50% of the population are evil and will forever treat you terribly and there's nothing to be done about it bc they're biologically predisposed to it? like is that fr the argument here? you're soooo radical for that
#this is coming from someone who used to very genuinely be a misandrist#ironically it was only when i started actually analysing my own feminism that i got MORE confrontational with men#and started respecting my boundaries a lot better BECAUSE i started holding them accountable again#like when men treat me like shit nowadays i dont just write it off as 'what did you expect? he's a man' i get MAD about it#because i EXPECT BETTER FROM THEM even if it's just tiny shit women have to deal with daily#i hold them to just as high a standard as im held to and i make them take accountability when they dont meet that#and whether you realise it or not even on a subconscious level the MOMENT you black-and-white blanket statement all men as bad#you stop holding them accountable.#like it is literally just boys will be boys. do terfs seriously not realise they're sending feminism BACKWARDS#like if a girl came to me with her trauma and people - other girls no less - tried to comfort her with 'yeah all men are evil'#id be fucking furious. like no he did that because he was a piece of shit that had it normalised to him that women arent to be respected#dont you dare let him off the hook with something as simple and uncritical as 'he's a man'#i promise you men like that will MUCH prefer a blanket statement such as 'all men are as bad as each other'#than actually being point blank told they're an abuser or a rapist. because being lumped together is comfortable and even empowering#wheras isolating their behaviour with words that are Bad and Ugly (LIKE 'rapist') is not comfortable at all and has heavy connotations#idk i dont think radical feminism is always bad on its own it can be v liberating. just terfs and misandrists that i have a problem with#dropping this post in a piranha tank and closing tumblr knowing im gonna have some thirty year old karen yelling at me within 5 mins#i probably wont respond to any terf comments bc they literally mentally exhaust me with their stupidity#but that also depends on my mood and ability to keep my mouth shut LMFAO we shall see
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i dont think striker and alastor are characters who are "precious senpais who did nothing wrong" i just don't think they're as reprehensible as valentino or stella. their actions aren't excusable, no, but they aren't near that level of abhorrent.
#helluva boss#hazbin hotel#satu's unpopular opinions#alastor hazbin hotel#helluva boss striker#comparing an asexual character to a rapist is one bad take but comparing a minority character to a racist abusive rich woman?#I get all four of these characters have unbearable apologists but Jesus fucking christ some of you are actually INSANE with your takes#on striker and alastor specifically like do you not ever realize how YIKES it is to compare the few ace characters to the SEX TRAFFICKER#OR SOMEONE WHOS IMPLIED TO HAVE LOST EVERYTHING TO ROYALTY ... COMPARING HIM TO THE ABUSIVE RACIST ROYAL LADY#WHO HE DOESN’T EVEN LIKE WORKING FOR???#She’s abused her husband in front of her child and she mocks the fact he dissociated during sex yet that's comparable to someone who#at his very worst he has been a hit man with sadistic tendencies but even then it's never been on the levels of sadistic like crimson#IM NOT EXCUSING STRIKER OR ALASTORS ACTIONS BUT CHRIST!!! CHRIST ALMIGHTLY YOU GUYS ARE SOMETIMES UNBELIEVABLE#“Alastor is completely evil” is possibly the dumbest fucking thing bc if u know any basic lore you know he at least gives a shit#About Niffty. About Rosie and Mimzy. He loved his mother. His father was an abusive piece of shit#Not excusing mass murder nor the cannibalism but its likely to note he probably only became cannibal in death bc already being mixed race -#- AND A SERIAL KILLER IN THE 30S? IN LOUISIANA??? HE WOULDN'T HAVE EVEN LIVED TO 40 IF HE WAS ALSO A CANNIBAL FJFJFJ#again I'm not excusing how he treated Husk in episode 6 or how he kills people bc obviously there's no context for the latter#And the former is ... EUGH#but also I saw someone say he'd be raping Husk if he wasn't asexual and to that I say fuck you#I /will/ say that he isn't gonna redeem! I don't want him to redeem lol! him being nasty is what makes him interesting#mostly morally black yet there's some grey in there like he has layers... how did he get there...#I just don't think he's Valentino’s level of bad#Striker I'm gonna be lenient on this time because some of you are actually vile comparing him to Stella or even Valentino#Actually stop comparing any character to Valentino that isn't one of the Vees bc holy shit that's so disgusting to read as an SA survivor
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Real pretentious for rusties to call themselves burgundy…you don’t see any other caste arguing about what they’re called :////
}:0|
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good-wine-and-cheese · 5 months
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Gambling Apocalypse Tenma AU
As I rewatch Kaiji I inevitably end up wanting to combine show I like with other show I like and stuffing fav characters into show. So here we are.
This was uh going to be a short summary type thing but I accidentally wrote a novella about it sorry
This AU starts off with a much more depressive Tenma. After Tobio's death, rather than immediately pour his grief into developing a robot version of his son, he recedes into himself, psychologically paralyzed, likely turning to alcohol to drown out his anguish.
His mental state is taken as an opportunity within the Ministry of Science to have him ejected from his position; Tenma was never the most well-liked director, and there were those with ambition to usurp him that would jump at the chance. Not that he especially cares in his state.
He's eventually dragged out of his stagnation by Ochanomizu - who, inadvertently, becomes the very catalyst pushing Tenma to develop a robot replacement to his child. This was not what he meant by encouraging Tenma to fill the void left by his son.
...But, well, he is no longer the director of the Ministry of Science. His access to limitless government funds and resources for "scientific research" has been cut off, and this is a project he cannot finance on his own. He can't ask Ochanomizu for help, but...interestingly...a representative of a certain shady organization known as the Teiai Corporation reaches out to him, offering to finance and support his project. A sane and well-minded Tenma might think better of it, but grieving and desperate, Tenma accepts their offer and is able to create a robot in the image of his beloved Tobio. For a while, there's joy in his life.
But the bill, as ever, comes due: Tenma must pay up, and the very resources that had been at his disposal will certainly ensure that he will, or else. Of course, he doesn't have the money; instead, he is given a choice. He can relinquish the robot Tobio in order to wipe out his debt - the child is a sophisticated and powerful robot, after all - or he can participate in a certain illicit event hosted by the Teiai Corporation.
It's nothing major...just a four-hour gambling cruise with a collection of desperate, damned souls that were also swept into debt with Teiai. The conditions are simple: Those who choose to participate are given a chance to clear their debts wholesale should they win. And should they lose...?
Well...no one really knows what happens to the losers seized by Teiai. It's said that they labour away their debts under Teiai's watchful eye and are freed once their work has covered their debts, though it's rumoured that most perish before they reclaim freedom.
There's only one answer Tenma can give, of course; he's not willing to lose Tobio again.
Thus is Tenma's debut into the Gambling Apocalypse, where he must become cutthroat in order to survive; if he wants to see his son again, he must make choices that will doom the hapless to miserable servitude, with a nonzero chance it ends in their death.
He survives the cruise, but of course, it was hardly enough to clear his debt; the cruise was never going to be the end of it. Teiai doesn't let go of its victims that easily. He will be called on again: this is a weight that hangs over him, all while he returns to his son Tobio. The same hands that have pushed innocents into hell must now be the hands that can embrace his child.
He wants to protect Tobio from the truth and enjoy what peaceful moments he's allowed with his son, but it's difficult. It's difficult to be the parent of a child who cannot understand the danger that looms ahead; this "happy" home is not to last. Tenma angers quickly and easily. He turns that anger onto Tobio.
As Teiai's games become more and more vicious and unrelenting, as his conscience holds onto the last vestiges of thread that remain, Tenma even threatens, once, to give the boy in: it would all end, then; the debt would be clear and no longer would he have to endure Tobio's childish annoyances, his ungratefulness.
The next time that Tenma is beckoned, Tobio takes matters into his own hands. He does understand, now; and he would have, if only Tenma had bothered to explain sooner. If it's a debt that needs clearing, he will work. He will help his father clear his debts however he can. Of course, it's difficult to find work as a child; but a circus troupe finds amusement in the idea of a child robot, and takes him in. He is whisked into a certainly unpleasant working situation, but he remembers his father, and what he must be enduring. Tobio, also, will endure.
When Tenma returns, Tobio is gone.
All that held Tenma back from becoming something monstrous has disappeared. All that kept him going has disappeared. When he is called upon by Teiai, there is no knowing what sort of person might come out the other end; whether a monster clawing his way to freedom regardless of what actions he must take, or a desolate husk surrendering defeat.
There is still a light, however dim: Found by Professor Ochanomizu and rescued from the circus, Tobio - now Atom - is able to shed light on the situation which Tenma took great pains to keep hidden from his old friend. With time running out, Ochanomizu and Atom must do what they can to save Tenma - from Teiai, and from himself.
-----
UHHH and that's a wrap!!!! I couldn't quite decide which way Tenma would go after hitting Rock Bottom in this AU, and tbh it would really depend on the kind of mental state he's in at the time. On the one hand I like the narrative of Ochanomizu and Tobio racing to prevent Tenma from crossing a line (actual outright murder probably) - or having to pull him back into humanity (and yknow, his ensuing penance)
But on the other hand having him get sent to Teiai Evil Hell Prison would be interesting because a) there's a lot of narrative potential having Tenma faced with what Teiai is doing with the people that lose the games and b) need him to decimate the foreman at chinchirorin Kaiji style
Tenma's whole character is definitely a much different guy in this AU, he starts off pretty sympathetic, the guy you wanna root for, he just ends up having an inverse character arc where he gets worse instead of better. His conflict with "Tobio" is also kind of reversed, less about being unsatisfied with Tobio as a son and more not being able to handle the fact that he probably has intense PTSD now and isnt capable of coping with it in a way conducive to being a parent (or like, coping at all)
Anyway that's gambling apocalypse tenma!!!
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conanssummerchild · 8 months
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sometimes my dad will make these autism jokes like about me and idk it juat rubs me the wrong way. not bcs hes allistic, my friend makes autism jokes all the time and its okay and its funny because i know that in the end she will at the very least try to be there for me when im having a bad day and shes done more to accomodate me than anyone ever in my life and i know i suck and im boring when im overstimulated and im a handful and i dont understand things everyone else understands, but she understands this and puts up with me at my worst so when she makes a silly joke about something autistic i do its funny and i laugh, because i know thats all it is, a joke. but my dad doesnt just get to mock me, infantilise me and use my autism against me and expect me to find it funny when he makes a joke because i know he sees autism in itself as a joke and he thinks im stupid and he means it more as a scornful comment, and even if he doesnt being ableist like on a daily basis kinda makes you lose the priviledge to joke around with your kid about their disability. 🙂👍
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ourflagmeansgayrights · 7 months
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This is a genuine innocent ask
Since ofmd is officially over, where does all the money donated go? This is not just a question for the fandom bit in general when ur raising money for a renewal but it fails.
so i mean, in general when a renewal campaign "fails" we dont usually get the showrunner saying outright "yeah the show isnt getting picked up, im sorry guys." like im pretty sure that most of the time, money that's raised for a campaign like this just gets collected and spent without there ever being an official announcement from the showrunners that fans should stop campaigning.
as far as the money that was raised for the first billboard back in january, all the money that was collected is long gone now bc it was spent on the billboard, the truck, the plane flyover, and the charity donations. and like, everyone who donated to that campaign knew that's where the money was going, and they knew there was a chance that the renewal campaign wouldn't work. so even tho the money they raised is gone, the ppl who donated technically got what they paid for.
when it comes to the second billboard, i have no idea what the plan is there. as far as im aware that fundraising effort is (was??) still ongoing, so djenks saying it's over kinda throws a wrench in that process. im not actually associated w the ppl collecting money for the second billboard, nor have i personally contributed to that campaign (or to the first campaign either, ftr), so i have no input or insight as to what's gonna happen w that money going forward. if u want more concrete info abt what's going on with that money you'd wanna ask @saveofmdcrewmates
from what i can tell tho, there are a few options as to what they could do with the money: they could ignore david's message and run the billboard as planned, they could forget the billboard and donate the money to charity, or they could run the billboard but change the messaging to something else. they might even be able to give some of the money back to the people who contributed?? that might be hard tho, idk what platform they were using to collect the money and i have no idea if they're even able to like, refund people. idk if the people who donated would even want their money back, or if they would rather the money still be used for the billboard, or be repurposed for something else. like i said, i didnt donate and i have nothing to do with the ppl raising the money so it rlly doesn't matter to me at all what happens.
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paimt · 1 month
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woag. vibeo game?
(very rough still)
(but now theres more colours)
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skitskatdacat63 · 8 months
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Orb...
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+ process kinda
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sonknuxadow · 5 months
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they werent lying that knuckles series barely has knuckles in it
#i pirated that shit Btw just so we're clear. also gonna talk about it a little bit in the tags#nothing too spoilery but also might not wanna read if you want to go in knowing absolutely nothing? idk#anyway he WAS a main character still he was present for a decent amount of the first couple episodes#but the amount of screentime he gets just starts dropping after that . hes barely there at all in the second half ???#and it feels like theres a lot of scenes mostly focusing on wade and his problems and not near as many for knuckles and his whole deal#overall it feels more like a wade show with knuckles in it than a knuckles show with wade in it. which sucks#and human characters having plot relevance isnt the problem here i dont mind human characters at all i think they can be really fun#its the fact that the human characters are taking over the story and spotlight when the show is called knuckles#and all the marketing makes it look like knuckles is the main focus#and i also would have preferred if they just went with a differnet character to be knuckles' human friend#because i dont particulraly care about wade. and the knuckles (and sonic and tails) i know would not be friends with cops </3#well at least the story wasnt knuckles training wade to be a better cop like a lot of people were expecting but thats like.the bare minimum#also aside from the issues relating to knuckles' screentime (or lack of screentime) i thought the ending was unsatisfying#regardless of all that though there WERE some parts i enjoyed or found kind of funny or whatever. because knuckles so cutesy as always#knuckles being a cute little guy is the most important part of the show actually#and i liked the parts with sonic tails and maddie even if they were only there for like 5 minutes#(i really wish those three had gotten more screentime. i feel like they could have easily worked in at least one more scene with them)#and its a minor thing but the opening sequence is cute. was honestly expecting just a title card or something#overall the show is just . kind of okay i guess. not the worst thing ive ever seen but still disappointing ? idk how to explain..#my expectations also werent very high in the first place#so maybe im being a bit more generous than i would have been otherwise. idk#and i definitely would not recommend this to anyone who already dislikes the sonic movies . youll probably hate this more#like people who thought the human characters got too much screentime in the second movie would lose their minds if they saw this
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hella1975 · 10 months
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ive never felt more rural than i have in the past few weeks since hanging out with a lad who has only ever lived in cities. what do you MEAN YOU'VE NEVER DONE A MORRIS DANCE
#he didn't even know what morris dancers WERE i said some shit like 'you know it's summer when the morris dancers come out'#and he was like 'the what now' I FEEL LIKE IM GOING CRAZY. HE'S FUCKING WITH ME SURELY#AND THIS HAPPENS SO OFTEN ABOUT THINGS I JUST ASSUMED WERE BASICS#'harvest festival 🤨' PARDON. YOU ARE JOKING#and also the CONCEPT of a village is baffling to him. i said there's probably about 100 people in my entire village#and we don't have a pub or a single shop the closest ones are in the NEXT village over which is a 3 mile walk#and this boy was HORRIFIED. we are both in a constant state of thinking the other is taking the piss#and now every time i think/do something abundantly rural im SO self-aware 😭#my mum told me the farmers are gonna do a xmas tractor run through our village this year#(they usually miss our village bc even by village standards it's tiny)#and she was like 'shame you'll miss it! i'll send you a video!' and im there already picturing this boy's face when i show it him#like sigh. yeah. yeah okay maybe the rural england is ingrained deeper than i feared. never escaping the allegations etc#had a conversation with him the other day that concluded with me 100% genuinely being like 'you need to touch grass'#i literally said 'i think it would fix you. like actually go and touch some grass what the fuck'#bc at this point he's so far removed from nature that it's INSANE TO ME. i didnt realise how much i took growing up rurally for granted#THESE PEOPLE DONT EVEN GET DRUNK IN FIELDS. THEY HAVE NO FIELDS. I HAD TO EXPLAIN TO HIM WHAT A CAMP OUT WAS
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todayisafridaynight · 6 months
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What do you think Mine’s reaction to Masato / Aoki be like?
tbh they'd probably be. amicable. at the very least.
#snap chats#like they have similar values its just that mine's more openly depressed about his belief system and doesn't take pride in it like aoki#i talked about this before omg thats so funny... but yeah no aoki's more proud of 'how the world is'. prob cause he's 'on top' of it#mine begrudges the fact he needs material goods to be useful to people#meanwhile aoki's happy to exploit others if it means he advances. for the most part anyway#he only really starts to show some regret when confronted by ichi. and get the shit kicked out of him for twenty minutes#wait i was rewatching the cutscene and started to throw up cause i got reminded of me in high school again aoki you're 42 stop this#Back On Track Though. mine and aoki had similar pursuits: attain power to be loved thats the core of it in simple terms#they went about it differently ofc: for mine money was power and for aoki popularity was power. Both Very True TBH but anyway#mine realized that even with money his person wasnt valued#and aoki realized that even with recognition people didn't value his character. sins the arakawas. fcukin dummy#i mean aokis a jackass so no wonder but thats not the point of this. fuckfest of tags#they wouldnt be friends. aoki's incapable of friendship and mine would probably quickly recognize aoki as being power hungry#i think mine's been in enough business meetings And Knows Enough About Politics to recognize Professional Fakerism when he sees it#actually do you think mine'd be swindled by any 'kindness' aoki expressed like when kanda left him and he thought he just went to get help.#that shit was wack LMAO BUT REGARDLESS idk i have to go to class soon so im not gonna spend too much time thinking of this#if they needed to they'd just use each other for whatever purpose they needed the other for. idk why mine would need aoki tho#TLDR mine probably wouldnt think too differently of aoki compared to any other power-hungry freak#we can revisit this topic when. im not learning about JP history vjERJALKJ
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toytulini · 3 months
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But Also i do think. Expecting Crisp Ironed Clothes of someone in a fucking job interview is Unhinged. I think most professional dress standards are Stupid.
#toy txt post#i value the labor it to knownhow to do that. but i really queation Why the labor is required for so much low stakes shit#even high stakes shit?#its good to know how ti do and can be used to elevate an outfit. AND. a stupid arbitrary standard of fashion to uphold#especially as a judgement of like class /professionalism / i think professionalism is Largely Stupid. thats what im saying#good god who are you the fucking military? the god damn marines? you gonna drill sarge on me about wrinkles? fuck off#depending on the construction of the shirt and the material i think you can Get Away With a Lot of Not Ironing. but i suppose. obviously#getting away with can also require privilege! which sucks and is stupid#i think i could probably haphazardly figure out ironing based on figuring out how to hang shirts to dry to avoid wrinkles and#watching dad do it occasionally. might struggle with pants cos i dont think ive ever needed to iron pants OR bother with methods to avoid#wrinkling too much? would they look Better? yea probably i guess but i aint doin all that#anyway. while i have you hear i also despise menswear rules i think theyre all stupid arbitrary shit and i cannot imagine#thinking the menswear guy on twitters dunks are worth any salt even if hes dunking on ppl u hate ♡ thats my hot take#none of those guys suck bc they dont dress well they suck bc theyre fucking fascists and going teehee their suits are untailored!#doesnt fucking land for me actually#its giving 'well. all trump voters are fat' like???????? same energy#yes i know one of the critiques is about shit thats easier to change and not intrinsic to that persons appearance#but i still think it sucks for similar reasons#+ it really feels like it downplays the issue of the guys hes dunking on being like. fascists. idk. not to mention so many of those#menswear fashion rules are SO fucking conformative and stupid. do whatever you want forever. be unfashionable. mix leather colors.#idk. ig its valid to Know the fashion rules and Then break them on purpose but the tone always annoys the shit out of me too
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gaytoddhoward · 3 months
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i kind of need to be like skinned or put into a meat grinder or something . lol .
#personal#vent#vent in tags#maybe i can just boil myself alive instead#im so SICK of being the one to be actively concerned with all my friends' health & having to tell them to take care of themselves#'yeah i threw up from a hangover on the way here and i havent eaten in like 3 days and i dont do anything other than work and sleep'#ARE YOU FUCKING WITH ME#'i only shower once a week' we can tell 'and i dont ever use shampoo. and im still surviving off a diet of just top ramen and dr pepper'#MY BROTHER IN CHRIST. TAKE BETTER CARE OF YOURSELF#'i havent made a doctors appointment for this possibly life threatening issue yet' im actually going to start sobbing .#IM NOT. MAD AT ANY OF MY FRIENDS TO BE CLEAR#but god its so fucking tiring. to be one of maybe two people to actually go 'hey that is really concerning please take care of yourself'#and then i cant fucking. take care of myself & i dont have the energy to think about my friends health anymore and i feel bad about it#i am NOT the pinnacle of health. but got damb !! if ur gonna not take care of yourself please do not tell me about it i get so so worried#& then my mother . god. waves vaguely at any interaction i have with her. doesnt make it any better#im so sick i need out of this house & out of this town get me outta here ! id thrive in pokemon put me in the pokeverse or some shit PLEASE#if ur the one person who i mentioned in tags thats also on tumblr pls pls know i am not mad at you im just so stressed always#& i care for u so deeply & it worries me so bad that u/ur family havent made more progress towards getting the issue solved .#(u probably won't see this post anyways but if u do. i just want it to be clear)#ANYWAYS it just crazy how i can bounce so rapidly from 'im not even human' to 'i am Too human'. and iam so so sick .of it.#if a single customer even makes eye contact with me at work tomorrow im going to gnaw my left pinky off in front of them i stg
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lilowoof · 21 days
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ngl gamers, I think I'm gonna inevitably lose to the hormones and depression in the near future XD
Can't bring myself to be active cause I'm using a lot of energy to not vent post all the time. But fuck it, into the tags I go!
#I want NO MESSAGES regarding this. let me just be upset and alone#you spend most of your life trying to not succumb to sick brain but honestly I don't think it's worth it in the long run#my life is for better or worse....decent. but I've lost the drive and happiness to really DO anything a long time ago. like whats the point#the only reason I havent killed myself yet is cause Im too lazy (and dont have access to a gun for a quick getaway)#and I'm saying all this DESPITE having stuff to look forward to in the near future. it's like AUGH whats the POINT IM always gonna suffer#why does mental health take such a toll on ppl. this shit sucks ass. and I still feel excited for things in the future too? somehow?#but I also really want to die so. idk man. idk. maybe if I fall in love with someone then I can be distracted but all my walls are up#what's the point in anything anymore. *I* have to take the steps to improve myself and my situation#and I'd rather die. anyways who wants to make a pact that once we reach 40 we will marry each other#that might be fun#also my brain has gotten so bad that I am literally considering joining a hiking club to get out more and I FUCKING HATE HIKING#but I should probably do something out of my comfort zone to push myself and who knows maybe I will find a new passion#but let me tell you about the anxiety - oh BOY it's starting to act up again. hahahha#ah well sometimes you just need to scream your feelings out in the tags to get a lil clarity from the brain fog#one day I will fucking die/kill myself but for now I'll just try to make the best out of. whatever the hell this stupid life is. *shrug*#(but hey if any professional hitmen are reading this. feel free to. heh. you know ;) )#also I need to get back to art#gotta do my paid work and that one pic I lined months ago. and clay stuff *continues to bed rot another week because hahahahahahaha*#ah I wish I didn't fail all those years ago. then I would be free. I wish I was free#ok goodnight I promised myself that I would do paid work when I wake up tomorrow so hopefully no more migraines -pray emoji-
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