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#i know its jokes but its such a fucking.....stupid way to joke. like ha ha get it im a communist i am rooting for the proletariat revolutio
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SUCROSE
Sugar Daddy!Older!König x Organic Chemist!Civ!FReader [NSFW, 4.3k]
You're an organic chemist that sugar babies for a laugh, because your days are dull and long. König is an old, battered soldier of fortune that has been sugaring you with an intensity bordering on religion. Neither of you are going to say the quiet part out loud.
CW: unprotected vaginal sex, doggy style, descriptions of nuclear annihilation, descriptions of the opioid crisis, criminally emotionally constipated adults. Barely edited.
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König’s place is Spartan. Most things about him are. But he tells you to do whatever you want, you've got his black card if you want anything, and you raise a brow in question.
“Anything, huh?”
He gives you a dry look. “Anything. Literally, I do not give a shit.”
Almost sounds like a dare.
You don't make yourself too-too at home. This thing is still new—the arrangement, the dynamic, the thrill. You know better that it could burn out at any second and leave you all the way hanging. Not a worry, because you are in charge of yourself, and this is only for fun. 
You've been too abrasive for too long to have faith in the idea that others will look out for you. That's always been your duty to yourself. It's sacred. It's safety. 
But he breathes you deep, wanting you in a way that feels like need. 
He likes it when you just come over to his place, because you don't invite him to yours. He likes it when you don't wear anything fancy in particular. He likes it when you put on his boxers and his t-shirt and crash on the bed with him. 
“Bad work day?” he asks, gaiter pulled up over his nose, hiding his face while some bullshit plays on the TV and his fingers rub tenderly behind your ear. 
“Hm.” It's a huff of a laugh. You stay resting on his chest. Your fingertips have only just slipped under the waistband of his sweats, resting on the small paunch at the bottom of his belly. “Didn't want you getting too comfortable alone.”
“Never been,” he laughs in return, a low and rough haa. “The sentiment is appreciated.”
You feel bad for trying to make the joke. You've never been comfortable alone, either. “It's just something you learn to live around,” you further, hoping like hell he understands, because you lack the words otherwise. 
“Yeah,” he hums, his arm tightening where it wraps around you, because he does. “Yeah.”
There are the quiet nights like those, when he just likes having you pulled tight to his body, running your hand over his stomach, ignoring the litany of scars—surgical, and violent, and otherwise—marring his hide. 
Then there are nights where he's a nightmare, and it is a riot to play with him. 
+
There's no preamble, only action. He sends you money for dinner, and the moment you're done, you're asked over to his place. 
“Do you want me to pick anything up for you? To eat,” you clarify, standing on the curb outside of the first restaurant he ever took you to—it's become a regular in your rotation. You're still in your work clothes. You don't even feel particularly human, just functional. 
Fuck's sake, you didn't even expect him to call tonight. 
“No,” he says, his voice tense, even on the phone, “just you. Now.”
You're barely able to knock on the door before he's snapping it open, gaiter pulled up, wearing Dickies and a fleece. 
“You g—?” You don't even get to finish asking, body in flight.
You yelp in surprise as he snatches an arm around your waist, the other sliding up your sensible, frumpy skirt, curling under your thigh. 
He picks you up like you weigh nothing, and your stomach flips at the bizarre, alien sensation. You've never been small. Delicate. Petite—what a vile word, an ideal adored by many, one that you've never embodied, and never could. There is no amount of plastic surgery or product that will ever make you desirably little. A stupid and furious bead burns down into your sternum, one that turns its face from all the boys and men that moaned for you, buried balls-deep in your tight cunt, only to spin a tight 180° and bitch that they wanted a woman they could toss around, manhandle, feel powerful for moving. 
They would fuck you, and want you, but only at the demand of curiosity, lust, novelty. Who would claim you. Who would ache for you. 
König pulls you onto his hip, gripping your ass cheek tight in one hand, and carries you to the bed.
“On all fours,” he growls, turning and swallowing hard, fishing out his wallet, and as an afterthought catches up with him, he adds, “please.”
Your heart is racing from the way he'd bodily executed his decision with you. Your brain is shocked into a standby state, working on intuition and instinct. You arrange yourself on hands and knees, ass up in the air, and pull your panties down, hobbling your knees. At least those kinda cute, and you have the thigh high hose on, sheer and black with lines down the back. 
You thank every fucking deity you know that you hadn't done your laundry and had clean long-johns to wear under baggy jeans today. 
He drops things in front of your face. Papers.
“What,” you grunt, not a question, a complete incomprehension. 
“Read those.” As if that wasn't clear. He hooks his hands under your hips, making you grab for the papers when he drags you to the edge of the bed. There's popping and a grunt as he gets on his knees behind you, and you barely tighten up your throat enough to catch the bark that wants to escape. 
“Fuck—don't!” you snap, frenzied, but he licks a hot, wet stripe from your clit to your asshole, about ready to bury his face. 
His fingers keep your ass spread open and they tense with frustration when he snipes back, “Vas? What the fuck could you—”
“Just fuck me, I'm already good.” You hear another sound of frustration out of him, something that feels like don't be dumb, since you both know exactly how fucking big his cock is, even for your well-played cunt. “You already got me going,” you hiss, shifting your hips, hating that you feel you have to admit this at all, “you—when you picked me up. That did enough. Just—it's time to fuck.”
His hands relax, sliding to push your ugly skirt up over your hips. “Just from picking you up?” he asks, as if that should be impossible. 
“Yes, just from picking me up,” you shoot back, this close to hiding your face in your arms. “I don’t get picked up. I don’t get—moved. Whatever. It was new. That doesn’t happen to me, unless you’ve somehow missed how I’m fucking built.”
All the air goes out of the room as you pull the admission like pulling your own teeth. A crack in the careful facade. A hairline fracture. You are not perfectly unflappable. You are not wholly without insecurity. You are as weak and human as everyone else. 
What a strange, ugly feeling to allow passage through your chest; a slow, inky swimmer swooping around your lungs and stomach, turning everything it touches to ice. You’re supposed to be untouchable, aren’t you? You’ve gone years without that odd, festering jealousy rearing its head. You’re not sure why it does so now.
König just taps the papers again, his breathing strained and heavy, bending to kiss your neck, just below the spot behind your ear that makes your skin snap with static electricity. “Let me eat your pussy while you read those. Don’t like condoms. Don’t want to use them anymore,” he grunts, the teeth he presses into your neck making you realize that he’s pulled down his gaiter.
It’s a weird enough request that it resets your brain. It allows you to read, your head fogged with discordant lust and curiosity as he sinks back behind you, bathing your pussy in heavy, slow attention with his split tongue teasing your clit.
It’s paperwork. A clean result from a recent STI test, and the discharge paperwork from a vasectomy. For your high-geared mind, it has taken an embarrassingly long time to click. He doesn’t like condoms, and doesn’t want to use them. The papers are assurances to you. He’s clean. He won’t get you pregnant.
In the five percent of your brain that is not being used to process the complete annihilation of your soaked pussy with pleasure, there’s a floor-rolling bout of hysterical, giddy laughter that has taken up residence, darting through the fine links of your firing neurons. 
This is a romantic gesture. He is a frightening, stone-faced man, who is twin to you in strangeness, and this is outpouring of bizarre softness and startling understanding. Is there anyone else in the world that has fucked you, let alone exists, that would know the way you find comfort and security in medical results and discharge papers on official letterheads?
If there is, you’ve never met them, and you don’t think you will.
Between his moves—a filthy, slurping plunge into your cunt, figure eights around your swollen and throbbing clit with the halves of his tongue, and almost delicate, sucking kisses that puff your labia—you still find the energy and wherewithal to bust his balls, even as he’s making you so wet that it slicks your thighs, “Alright. So, how do you know I’m clean?” It is a sentence you can barely manage as your body shakes.
There comes a laugh, rumbling and serrated, as he nips your shaking thigh with his teeth, paired with a familiar clap on the ass like you’re a breeding mare prized not for progeny but sentiment and a fondness for your rotten, crank attitude. “You’re mean as a fucking snake, Schatzi, but I know you’re not mean enough to let me tongue-fuck you if you had something.”
You maybe should not laugh at such a succinct round-up of one of your most defining character flaws, but you are, and you grin sharply looking back over your shoulder at him as he rises. His hands—huge, warm, coarse, careful—slide over your hips to savor your shape.
“Further up the bed,” he coaches you, leaning forward just long enough to press a heavy kiss to your mouth, pushing his tongue past your lips so you can taste yourself mixed with his natural metallic tang. 
One of your hands comes to his jaw, pulling him back in when he tries to move away, for just one selfish moment more, swirling your tongues together, needful of his heat and his closeness and the feeling of your noses crushes together as clumsy as college freshmen set loose in a wide, free world.
“You don’t do fuck-all in half-measures,” you mutter, hand finally sliding away, your lids clicking open crisp. You love seeing the scars mutilating his mouth, the way that flush brightens the coppery tint of his skin. The silver in his hair seems brighter, and the gold of the wheat-colored strands giving the silver a home seems deeper, more molten. 
He is a beautiful man. He is a beautiful, beautiful man, and the look he gives you reads weakness.
What a rotten old soldier. What a battered old war dog. 
You don’t want to think about what it means if the weakness isn’t a figment of your imagination. If it is symptomatic of a larger trend; an oncoming crisis, a trend that sweeps and fells and swallows up entire communities, with a bent toward becoming endemic to the local culture, and almost impossible to kill forever after.
+
The opioid epidemic has always come in greater, and greater waves. 
The first in the nineties, off natural and semi-synthetic painkillers, a slow swell beginning with easier manufacturing, laxer laws, and gargantuan pharmaceutical conglomerates pushing-pushing-pushing the easy writing of prescriptions on countless doctors. Generational seeds buried in families, in communities—germinating at inhuman rates, weaving addiction into the DNA.
The second came with the second decade of the new millenia. A resurgence in heroin, when the world began to come down on doctors with fat Rx pads and quick-writing fingers. When you cannot find a fix legally, you will find it illegally, and it comes at much higher a cost. 
There were always more waves, and different ones, and quieter ones. There were always synthesizers, cookers, designers, manufacturers—legal and illegal alike. 
Fent, roxie, percs, bars. Heroin, krokodil, bath salts, flakka. Uppers. Downers. Barbiturates, benzos, phenobarbital. 
It all ties into dopamine, and the ancient, pointlessly leftover biological mechanic of addiction. The sizzling, bumpers-and-bells-and-bright-lights screech of a reward center well-fed. 
König is a beast of a man, and his brain is brutally hardwired for addiction. He's an alcoholic in on-off recovery, he's a medical req amphetamine junkie. He no longer chases adrenaline like most men chase tail, but he sprints after it in his tense, jerking dreams. 
He's just a dog, with wet sad eyes, and his heart chases after trucks that will never see him around blind turns. His surety that the next roaring beast coming around the switchback bend will finally love him back is the thing that is going to kill him. 
+
König can't spell for shit, and his grammar is a barely functional mess of punctuation and weird spacing, but he has a terrifying mind for numbers and nuclear engineering. He's told you before that it takes 10^-20 seconds for an atom to split to kickoff nuclear fission, the process that powers atomic bombs.
You're a doctor, and it didn't at all feel stupid to ask, “Fuck. How can you even comprehend how fast that is?”
You walked side-by-side with him in winter coats. He shrugged at the time, and said, “Hm. Alright, you're at the market. You're looking at apples, or arugula, or fish, or whatever the fuck. We don't know who hit the button, but the missile carrying the warhead is going twenty-four thousand K-P-H. Fifteen thousand miles per hour. You're in Berlin. As soon as the launch is registered, everyone starts launching.”
He stepped closer, elbow bumping yours. When he registered your hard swallow, he slid his arm around your neck and pulled you into his side. 
“So the bombs are launched,” you prompted him, tucked into his side. “When do I die?”
“You died ten minutes before World War III ended,” he hummed, pressing his nose into the spot before your ear, brushing his gaiter-covered lips over your cheek and ear lobe, “you were turned into pure carbon staining the ground, and you never knew there was a bomb.”
10^-20 seconds for the bomb to perfectly obliterate any and all existence of your entire life. Annihilation so utter, there would be no DNA leftover. 
Bombs, destruction, drugs, addiction.
Control. Control. Control.
König will never know that you passed through the eye of the needle in close to the same fucking unfathomable shard of a second, fighting tooth and nail to choose between launching off the bed, denying his low-simmering feelings, and black listing his entire existence in your memory—versus embracing the insane, helpless plummet, releasing your death grip on the demand of understanding and autopsy of everything unknown. 
Your hand loosens on that chain.
+
“Yeah, fuck it. Fuck me,” you say, recovering from the staggering out of body experience. 
He leaves you ass-up in the cold of his apartment, windows open, and returns with his laptop and his black card, throwing them down in front of you. His hands clap your skin as they land on your hips, anchoring him as he pulls himself into place behind you, stroking his cock needlessly because it can't possibly get any harder or fatter.
“Buy whatever you fucking want. You've got ten grand. You don't spend it, you don't cum,” he grunts in a hoarse voice, and that's every bit of warning you get before he plunges his cock in your soaked, swollen pussy, bucking and grunting as you spasm around him and try to scurry away out of instinct. His hips slam against your ass, hands dragging you back against him, and you feel and hear the noise ripping in his throat like the gut-growl start of a chainsaw.
There’s a wolverine in your throat—something, perhaps, that fought hard, and died even harder than that in another life—and it does not take kindly to being bossed, bucked, bitched. It bares its fangs through your mouth, goading you to turn your head, to catch König’s eyes and lock onto them like you’ve caught him in unkind crosshairs. 
“Do I still get to cum if I just make one big, fat buy?” you ask hoarsely, the silver of your teeth flashing between your lips like a threat, eyes wild and too-bright. “Maybe I buy you a decent fucking couch? A good dining table?”
That mauled mouth of his curls into a smirk, and his hand skates up your back—turning threat and  tenderness into a single entity—gripping the back of your neck firmly, but not cruelly, as he redirects you to the screen. 
“You could. Of course, you fucking could. I’m not a liar. But.” He bends low, snapping a sharp and sweet love bite against the skin of your neck, in a spot that your collars will barely hide. “That would be fucking boring. I don’t think you’re boring.”
The tone begs you to tell him he’s wrong in a challenge.
You laugh, backed into a clever corner, gripping the sides of the laptop, dragging it closer as he starts a slow, rolling rhythm, sliding his cock in and out of you. Just taking his sweet time, warming you up all over again, getting those stiff hips of his to unlock, too—more used to marching and storming, now, than fucking.
You start by faking him out as he stretches your wet, throbbing pussy with his grappling-to-relax rhythm, pulling up a Tiffany Co. hardware necklace selling for $4,100.00. Its greatest sins are that it is not only ugly, but, far worse, it is boring. 
“Schatzi,” he growls, fingers tightening on your hips, and, good fuck, it makes you laugh. That earns you the slam of his hips flush to your ass, stealing the air from your lungs, and his huge hand tightens in the back of your hair, bringing your eyes back up as your head swims and your stomach jumps.
“Got the hint,” you wheeze, clicking off the tab, trying to focus on anything but the size of him inside you, pounding you like a brutal metronome. His breathing is tight, and every stroke of his cock sails him straight across your g-spot. Makes your brain shimmer like the bath bombs and body lava you load your carts with. Makes your guts feel filled with poured platinum, same shade and shine as the teal sapphire pendant earrings you purchase.
The orgasm builds in your lower belly—a broiling heat, a ten-ton tightness, driving your pelvis down with its demanding weight—and König stays steady fucking you, relentless with his perfect, unerring rhythm. Somehow that makes it so much more difficult to withstand. 
The first time you had fucked, he had lasted so long you thought he wasn’t going to fucking cum at all, but, no. He was just beastly in bed, sweat pouring down his temples and chest, eyes smirking over his mask until you ripped the fucking thing down and kissed him. He’d tasted, wonderfully, of your pussy and pleasure.
The stamina of a maniac, and the patience he professes that his younger self could’ve never maintained.
At $8,370, your focus gives, and you almost collapse, elbows sliding out from under you. You bury your head in the blankets beneath you, smelling his cologne and the faint odor of his sleep sweat, and it turns your stomach into a cyclone. You’re kissing the razor’s edge of finishing, so close you feel it flooding your blood like the skull-crack cold of a fresh IV line of saline on a hot, sick stomach.
All at once, he stops, one hand heavy-spread across your lower back, the other tight around the shape of your hip.
“H-huh, f—fuck,” you moan, pathetic and brainless.
“You done?” he asks, breathing hard. He grunts like the grit of a stone mill when you nod your head, then shake it, body too confused to settle on an answer. “Think about it. You’re almost there. Tell me how much you have left to spend.”
You turn your head in the blankets, taking a sideways glance at the screen. It’s hard to tell. His hand slips lower, between your legs, cupping your pussy and applying pressure, though he doesn’t play with you. 
Simple math. You’re a doctor. This should not be difficult. But Sisyphus would have an easier time pushing his damned boulder up his hill than you are with basic subtraction.
“One—one-six-three-nil.”
“Mm. Mhm. Sixteen hundred. I’m almost done, want you to cum, too. Get creative.” His voice is hoarse, tight with restraint, and even in your stupor, you can tell he’s struggling as much as you are.
With a sluggish nod, painfully conscious of his cock sitting heavy and throbbing in your cunt, you pull yourself up on one shoulder, slumping as close to the laptop as you can manage. The next page you go to belongs to his bank, and his fingers knead into the small of your back as you one-handed type his account information (the gift of an obscene amount of trust, or the hallmark insanity of a man who simply does not have a spare fuck to give).
Takes ten seconds to transfer a solid two grand into your checking account, and König doesn’t even chuckle. 
He fucking moans. A weak, broken-legged sound that shakes his entire body so thoroughly it rings through yours like church bells.
His grip tightens, and he muscles you onto your back like an afterthought. Slops your legs back open and drops all his weight on top of you, burying his face against yours as he fucks right back into you. He’s done dicking around (you would laugh at the stupidity of your own thoughts, had your brain stem not been atomized by this exact man), hitting a nightmare rhythm of thrusting and grinding that rubs your clit, and just tosses what’s left of your mind in the damned incinerator.
The build is so fast and reckless—a nigh-on lethal vent of pressure that leaves you half-blind and shaking, finally allowed to sprint after what felt like a lifetime of restraint—that you’ve already started to cum, and your mind is only just now catching up with your body. König’s breath is furnace-hot, rolling over your skin like the lungs of a bellows press, your cunt spasming and clenching his throbbing cock wildly. 
When the world finally takes back control of your facilities—putting a fading, slow halt to your paint smear perception of reality—König is crushing you with his weight. His hands grip at the underside of your thighs, and he breathes into the hair behind your ear. “Will move, soon,” he assures you, but you shake your head. 
“Stay put. Your weight feels good,” you respond, chest beautifully crushing under his body, and it calms your heart with the comfort of pressure. 
Lazily, and without much thought, you graph out chemical sequences across his back. Prolactin, dopamine, oxytocin, endorphins, serotonin. All the good shit, overwhelming your blood stream.
+
You're the one to get up for water, calling him ‘old man’ in a snort that earns you a swat to the bare ass, and another gravel-grit laugh. He looks grateful for it all the same—that small measure of care and familiarity. 
Dog, dog, dog, your mind chants. He's just an old dog aching for a fleece bed and a kind hand. The stone in your stomach sinks heavier, and you turn your thoughts away from it. 
When you return, you collapse in the bed beside him after handing over the glass. He's propped himself against the headboard, legs splayed wide and lazy, the heaving of his chest from exertion shallowed by rest. His profile is harsh in the unfiltered light of his side table lamp, and the cold air blowing in through the cracked windows is a relief on your friction-chafed skin.
His skin is gold in this light, like his lightning-streaked hair. His form is sleek and powerful, even in repose. The bulk of him eats up half of the king-sized bed, dressed in barebones linens, and you think of tragedies. How perfectly-built demigods always came with a fatal flaw that became their death, and how nature couldn't figure out a way to give stronger hearts to massive creatures. 
Their bodies simply demanded too much fuel to keep alive for too long. They are powerful, undeniable, and gone so very quickly.
But looking at König, maybe god is too magnificent a term for him. You know he'd despise it. Bomb is a better fit. 
Yeah, no. That is the better fit. The type of man he is? One with his nature? He'd be dead before he even realized he'd detonated. And he'd kill as many people as he could with the blast radius. 
“You ever think about going back to school?” you ask in a fucked-out rasp, as your lips cut into a lopsided half-smile, and he laughs, smirking.
“I fuck you stupid, or…?” he teases, his teeth glinting in the light of the room, eyes pale and calm like cold water.
‘No,’ is the real answer, and it continues, ‘I have only just discovered the fear that comes after realization, and I have let myself pass through the keyhole to the other side. I have never seen this place, one where there is enough room for another person besides myself, and it frightens me. It could be filled, and it could be emptied, and I know that I do not have the resilience to live with that void.’
“Shit. I think you did,” is what you snort instead, pulling the sheets up over your hips. “I'm going to doze for a little while. Then, I'll call an Uber home.”
König says nothing, making an unsure noise of thought in his throat, but you know he won't pursue his offer, because you will turn it down, and he is fragile when it comes to rejection. 
Coward that you are, you allow the invitation to spend the night die in his chest, cemented by him leaving the bed shortly after to shower.
You are not ready to admit to even yourself that there is room for him. What else is there to do but run from it?
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orbitariums · 3 days
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nerd/geek! patrick x black!reader
dirty stinky patrick this manipulative toxic patrick that. WHAT ABOUT stinky nerd/geek patrick who’s more akin to stephen nedorosckik (olympics horse boy) except he doesn’t do any sports he just plays call of duty in his dorm all day and gets his bayonetta ass glasses dirty and slugs out on pizza with his boy art.
he’d actually be really hot if he changed his shirt once in a while (you know he’s wearing a grey “find x” t-shirt or some other shirt with silly puns on it every other day) and washed his hair more frequently. you’re paired with him for a project late in the semester and he has to pretend he hasn’t been jacking it to you the whole year — how can he not when you wear the tightest tank tops imaginable paired with the lowest of low-waisted jeans? your favorite combo is a tight white t-shirt with a hot pink bra peeking out underneath it. you sit in front of him in class and he stares at your back, the hint of a bra strap peeking through the tank.
your bangles jingle with every move you make and he can catch a whiff of your burnt vanilla perfume each time you move as well, and it makes his dick stand up under the desk. you’re always coming into class obnoxiously late with your friends, giggling and making too much noise, but it’s you so it doesn’t matter.
you meet him in the library and after you sit down you hastily put on a pair of thick black glasses from a case you leave laying haphazardly on the table, muttering,
“i know i look like such a nerd, ignore those.”
and patrick, who’s spent his entire life with the nerd/geek reputation just stutters,
“uh-no- no, you don’t at all, you look — um…”
you’re looking up at him now with laser focus, your face as close to his as it ever has been and suddenly it seems like your two chairs are way too close together. it looks like you’re critiquing him but really you’re just analyzing him, cocking your head with squinted eyes as you endure his stuttering. he swallows hard and looks away, down at his paper, finally finishing his sentence,
“reallypretty. sorry, that’s-”
“aww,” you coo, smirking just a bit as you finally get the hint. “that’s really nice of you patrick.”
you squeeze his arm and smile innocently when his head jerks to glance down at your pretty hand, well manicured and soft, gripping his forearm. you’ve been pretty your entire life, with a bit of a mean streak, and so you know the telltale signs of attraction from a guy, from anyone really. you hadn’t paid much attention to patrick in the past — why would you? but looking at him now, you saw potential. he was a bit of a fixer upper, but he had this sweet nerdy charm to him that you found really hot, especially if it meant you could get him to do your homework. he wasn’t even that smart, but he was smart enough, and obsessed enough.
“oh… ha,” he laughs nervously. “thanks.”
you distract him the entire session, both by force and just because of your existence. he thinks he’ll die when you reach for something on his side of the table for the third time, practically snaking across him, your tits in his face as you wiggle to reach for a ruler or a pencil you need to borrow. pretends not to be staring when you reapply your lip gloss, fights his smile when you giggle at some stupid joke he makes. its only two hours but he’s pent up by the end of it, fisting his dick while art showers in their room.
groaning stupidly and loud enough to be heard over the water as he comes into his hand, your name peppered inbetween his moans,
“fuck, yn, want your fucking tits smothering me, please ride my dick, i’ll do anything, please please.”
you just might grant him his wish soon enough.
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lost-romantique · 2 days
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The Way He Lit up His Life- Baby Stolitz Circus Edition (Part 1)
I love the way Blitz manages to light up Stolas' life, even when he never meant too.
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Stolas starts off his birthday fucking elated. Of course he would, IT’S HIS MOTHERFUCKING BIRTHDAY!
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"You will be entrusted with the study of the Earth's skies, the stars, the prophecies they hold, all that stuff. Isn't that fun!"
Stolas is given his life's mission as a Goetia, and he couldn't be happier!
This is best birthday ever! Absolutely what can go wrong!?
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WHAT DO YOU MEAN I'M BEING FORCED IN AN ARRANGED MARRIAGE WITH A PSYCHO!
Stolas is forced into an arranged marriage with Stella, and he's devastated. He begins to cry.
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His father who is so good at daddying, mind you, suggests they go to the circus in town.
Stolas does not want to go, he's miserable. His birthday is ruined.
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Stolas is at the circus now, he has to have a fun time at the circus... right? RIGHT?
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Despite all the cool shit that's happening before him, Stolas is miserable. He doesn't even bother looking at the performances.
He even flicks away the peanuts off his grimoire.
This baby birb is fucking miserable.
Absolutely nothing can make this day go better...
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Suddenly, he sees HIM.
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The boy wonder, the man who will become the poster child for severe self-hatred, BLITZO BUCKZO!!!
But Stolas doesn't see that...
All he sees is a little imp boy with the biggest smile on his face. Stolas is smitten.
Could this be what they call love at first sight? Who knows...
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All Stolas knows is that absolutely nothing has caught his attention, OTHER THAN HIM!
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The moment Blitz lands on stage, Stolas does a double-take. HE DOES A MOTHERFUCKING DOUBLE TAKE!
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Whenever Blitz is on stage is the only time Stolas truly enjoys his time at the circus. All of his focus is on that little imp boy who can't make a fucking horse balloon to save his life.
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"Well, heh. It was a horse, but then it ate too much sugar and its legs stopped working, so he had to amputate. Now, it's a gross worm horse."
Blitzo makes a stupid joke no one laughs at, but Stolas... this baby birb finds it fucking hilarious. He's charmed.
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Blitzo sees that and he acknowledges his existence, almost instantly. He sees the only boy that would laugh at his stupid joke.
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Suddenly Fizz comes in, makes a perfect horse in record time, and everyone laughs at his joke instead. Thereby stealing whatever thunder Blitzo had.
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But you know the funny thing... Stolas doesn't laugh at Fizz's joke. Actually he's almost offended that everyone completely ignored Blitzo's joke.
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"I liked his broken horse joke, it was funny. Their legs do stop working when they eat too much sugar, it's called laminitis."
Paimon looks at Stolas curiously, giving his son the eye as Stolas proceeds to laugh to himself because Blitzo's joke is that funny!
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The scene ends with a closeup shot of a smiling Blitzo.
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~~~
I find it adorable just how quickly Stolas' boredom changes the moment he sees Blitz on stage.
Stolas was just given the life changing news that he was going to be forced into an arranged marriage, and he's miserable. He doesn't want to go to the circus. Only for all that change the moment he sees Blitzo.
It's so cute just how smitten he is, how enchanted Stolas gets when he sees Blitzo on stage. How the worse day of his life turned into one of the best all because he sees him.
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Please watch out for my future posts as I analyze all the Stolitz scenes in The Circus.
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nshmuras · 10 hours
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YOU DONT TALK MUCH? ~ sjy
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sypnosis : jake was the heartthrob of decelis academy. as usual, he would find girls to swoon and break every month. but what happens when his friends challenge him to break you? the quiet girl who never speaks to anyone.
genre : fluff, angst, smut.
features : hyung line of enha.
pair : popular boy jake x quiet girl reader
chapter(s) - ONE 2 3 4 5 -> 000.
buns notes : if you see a mistake its because i pre wrote this way before it even was posted yesterday 😭 ignore them please !
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Sim jaeyun wasn't a good guy. not like anyone didn't know that.
most people assumed he was a mamas boy or was insanely clingy due to his natural radiant glow.
Well everyone is wrong.
Jaeyun, also known as jake, didn't live with his mom anymore since he wouldn't get his way and decided to move out by the help of his father he rarely sees ever.
But atleast he's successful, his mom rather have a annoying ball of success than a annoying son with a even more annoying lack of future.
Sometimes thinking about leaving his mother and stressing her out with his defiance makes a tiny pang of guilt come but he pushes it down, why wouldn't he?
Now he has a thing he does. he has a list full of the cutest and hottest girls at Decelis university that he deems fit to be a pawn at his game.
It's called the "target list" and whoever is on there will leave with a broken heart and more.
He tells these girls that he loves them! they believe it with a bat of their eyelashes and a spread of pink dusting their cheeks.
Stupid.
Now enough of that, lets move on.
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Today, the lunch room was bustling with movement and chatter as the students of Decelis university gathered in the area to eagerly fill their stomachs before having a long lecture with their professors.
Obviously, the basketball team sat at a big table with jokes and conversation about girls.
Heeseung, jay, and sunghoon are jakes buddies. Following behind him as always to practice or anywhere else
The topic was random before the oldest, heeseung, spoke up. "Yo jakeu, when you finding your next toy?" He teased, which jake scoffed but also snickered.
"Soon, haven't found anyone to place on my list yet." Jake inquired as he dug into his bag , pulling out a slightly crinkled paper before placing it on the table.
"I had Kori , maya , mina but their all last weeks targets i already crossed off." He huffed and leaned back in his chair.
Then, jay took the paper and scanned it before leaning over to whisper something to the other male, sunghoon.
Sunghoon hummed and nodded, jotting down something before shuffling it back to jake.
Jake quirked a brow and read down. "L/N Y/N..." He muttered as he looked up "Who the fuck is that?"
They all snickered before heeseung answered. "That girl over there. Shes from class 4 and seemingly has a crush on you."
Jake almost snorted and immediately rejected the idea before jay cut him off. "She's quiet, doesn't speak alot and seems like she could be easy to fool."
Jakes original frown then curled into a smirk. "Well, this will be fun."
.
.
.
After lunch ended everyone was now in their professors classrooms, except jake.
He strolled the halls until he reached the library.
Does he like to read? No.
But that's not why he's there... he's there for you.
When he scanned the area his eyes landed on a girl who was buried into a book and basically assumed it had to be you.
He strutted over to you confidently and took a seat beside you, in which you looked up.
"Hey, saw you were reading something and got curious." He smiled charmingly and expected a immediate blush but you remained calmed and nodded.
"Uhh.. what is the book called?" He asked, feeling awkward. he never has felt awkward talking to a girl.
You shifted the book to show him the front cover before returning it to your own eyes to continue reading.
"Hm.. nice." He said a bit quietly as he watches you. "Say.. you should talk. its not attractive if you keep quiet." He teased, it was a bit of a jab but suprisingly, you stood up and took your stuff with you before walking out the library.
"What the.." Jake trailed off in confusion before it turned into frustration.
Who dare turn away from Sim jaeyun like that? everyone knew better.
You're definitely not getting off the hook.
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jakes next targets : @faithnsstuff @mitmit01 @woofie-nctzen-fanarts @whoa-jo @wonsdoll @elysianiki @mmygnolia @kairoot (send ask to be added.)
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nomairuins · 28 days
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i like overthink everything now it makes me feel so dumb. i used 2 be able to just talk 2 ppl but nowadays every single thing im like Is that actually going to make them hate me. Yes probably. and then i just dont respond which makes ppl hate me. this is how it is
#ive been overthinking 1 light and casual mildly funny response to something but im worried itll come off as disrespectful and dismissive And#make me seem stupid and uncaring all at the same time. and also be seen as insulting. but like idt itd be insulting right like. im not#saying what it is so ig for all you guys know im like I mean if i say All your shit suck ball and i hateit kys. <- thats not the thing i was#going to say#like it doesnt matter now the window for response is closed now but i feel stupid bc i shouldve just said it it was light and casual. im so#bad at keeping convos gojng im convinced im not going to survive. In like a light and casual way like in a He will not make it through the#winter joke way. dw. im not going to do anything bc i had One failed interaction. if i was going to do anythjng itd be bc of the 8000000#other failed interactions. But im not. anyways. it just makes me feel so useless 😭 like i want to respond i want to talk to ppl so bad but#i feel like i mess things up Irreparably every time i speak OR i take too LONG overthinking my response and then i just cant respond bc its#been too long and then its been 3 years and the only messages ive ever sent r my intro message and 1 message 2 years ago that nobody#responded to at all. or the conversation stopped immediately after. and like i used to be better at this i was lkke. talkative in a couple#muts servers like. i talked 2 ppl daily in those servers and i had fun and like. I was an important part of the group and i felt like it#but i just feel like such an outsider for Everything and its literally my fault bc i cant just like. Talk. The explosion. bc im always like#im gonna try im gonna do it this time im gonna get it back im going to finally be Good connor and im going to fix it all and make a Good#solid friend group and ill find HEALTHY LOVE and i wont selfsabotage and ill move out and have a job and ill balance it well and ill start#all my hobbies and ill have a great routine and be so loveable and on top of it and not stressed and content and happy and roll with the#punches and then theres a single hiccup and im like Well fuckinf whatever im going to be an unemployed hermit forever and im going to die b4#im 25 anyways so Who cares and also im digging a little hole for myself. and its like. AUGHH ik i just have to persevere and overcome but#even saying that feels so stupid its not fucking hard its Talking to ppl. like. i literally if ive ever said a word to you i had to think#avt it and strategize how to respond right even for like. like. it makes it sound like its not genuine it is#like for example i want to say hey i love your art! but then i freak out and im like thats not normal thats like a rly generic comment they#hear that all the time theyll thjnk im being polite and my brains like hrmmm rewrite Your art changed my life. It shaped me. Ill never be#the same. Nad im like ok too far overcorrected go back and the sentence generator is like Your art has colors 💯 like. GOD. WHY IS IT SO#difficult. and then usually i either just dont say anythinf and feel awful abt it 4ever OR i send it on anon and then i spend like 15#minutes ibsessively slightly tweaking the apelling and capitalization and punctuation to make sure it doesnt seem like its me just in case#it Is the worst possible thing to say but then i see the response and itll be like AWWW TYSM :] THIS MEANS A LOT or whathaveyou and i feel#stupid bc i couldve just Told them this to their face and it wouldve been a good positive interaction we had. but instead i had 2 hide and#tyoe entirely differently so they couldnt sniff me from my typing style. and it soesnt even feel like the thanks is actually 4 me bc i#tweaked the message sm. and it still makes me happy that the oersons hapoy but its like. that couldve been a nice mutual interaction#like not that i need a personal ty i compliment ppl when i Want to compliment ppl and when its genuine yk. i dont do it so i get mutualpoint
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gophergal · 11 days
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So, on Thursday J and I went to a local coffee+donut shop that I've never been to (and she hasn't either because she's from a different county) and on the wall they have this big painted mural that says, and I quote:
EAT MORE HOLE
FOOD
And needless to say, neither of us read that last word, initially
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bl00dw1tch · 1 year
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God. God. God. Holy fucking shit i love Avatar so fucking much
#horse.txt#im being so real right now it breaks my goddamn heart that so many people hate it on principle and go into it waiting to be disappointed#like. god. seriously? how do so few people seem to see the shit im seeing? how do people not GET its RIGHT THERE???#idk man im like. high and the hd release is out so it feels like Christmas but this shit has been on my mind and its at like a precipice#its one thing when ppl just aren't into it but the absolute LOATHING and DISDAIN people harbour for these movies is just. baffling#i cant understand it#i hate statistics. why did it have to pan out this way#how can anybody hate this production literally decades in the making? the fucking DEFINITION of a Passion Project?#the labour and love and inventive GENIUS that has gone into these films--and#you know what? the writing ISN'T that fucking awful. its not perfect because no movie is ever fucking perfect and sometimes you#have to give a script and characters breathing room. room to make mistakes!!! because this fucking obsession with#'characters dont have to be realistic!' is BULLSHIT. and NO saying that does not conflict with the idea that Characters=/=real ppl in#discourse!the ideas can fucking coexist! having realistic characters is GOOD its fucking GOOD when theyre stupid and do shit you dont like!#because thats what REAL PEOPLE DO thats what makes them fucking COMPELLING thats what youre SUPPOSED to let draw you in!!!!!!#but noooo no no no no keep repeating your smurf pocahontas jokes and roll your eyes at anyone who does like it like theyre stupid#because you can't be assed to give something a chance just because everyone Else is calling it stupid#and you dont want them to roll their eyes at /you/#i know this is dumb to be so heated about but im just. im sad man. im happy im having a great day!! but im sad#about how few people i can share it with yk..???
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0ystercatcher · 1 year
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im sorry theres just something so unbelievably fucking weird abt an art/design director in well known publications having "rooting for the proletariat revolution or my fav baseball team to win the series" on their bio. i literally always want to shove these people into a locker irl like is this all a game to you. like who fucking says shit like that
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toytulini · 1 year
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starting the day off Wrong with. nerds gummy clusters for breakfast,
#toy txt post#i will regret this#(half joking) specifically to spite that post telling me i Have eat a vegetable#i recognize its True. i dont even personally particularly have trouble w vegetables. i like a good number of vegetables in different ways#but something about it is scraping its nails down the chalkboard the wrong way for me#i cant tell you how i would prefer a post like that to be worded. but smth about it pisses me off idk#im vagueing and idk if i could even find the post but like. i really love op being like 'im saying this in the gentlest way possible' and#then u check the notes and their replies to ppl saying no they dont want to is 'die then' and i cant even blame them for that. it has#many notes im sure theyre out of patience to keep being Gentle. but smth about it is just. Grating#i am not sure theres One good way to get picky eaters to try new foods but god that post is Not vibing with me#i want you all to know im being sooo strong rn ive seen it on my dash TWICE and resisted the urge to reblog it w stupid spiteful shit in the#tags lol. im being so strong. im resisting. im making my own post to say stupid shit in the tags#also god it is such a good thing i already like vegetables bc some of the shit ppl are reccomending in the notes.................#🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢#LIKE to each their own if thats what works then go off everyone likes different things but also oh my fucking god some of that#is like the grossest shit. i am not putting fucking cheese on anything are you insane. creamy soups???? you want me to eat CREAMY SOUPS???#A L F R E D O S A U C E ?????? if thats what it takes yall then go wild but asgajgudvakgeuvuw could NOT be me and that is OKAY#im allowed to dislike things that others like and youre allowed to like things i find. detestable. do not take it personally#keep in mind i find so many things detestable it is Not fucking personal. except sauerkraut. that shit is a hatecrime against me personally#<-joking it is a joke. (its not) it is a joke. keep sauerkraut away from me tho please im dying squirtle#if your method of keeping it away from me is to eat it all and go oooo that was so yummy thats fine. whatever it takes#i do wonder about the ppl suggesting to pickle things to consume vegetables#dont get me wrong i am pro pickles as hell i go insane for pickles. however. im not sure they count as a 'vegetable' from a nutrient#standpoint? also the person in the notes being sad they have a hard time eating vegetables and being like wah i cant eat anything but pizza#i want that person to know pizza is vegetables. YES get off my ass tomato is botanically a fruit shut up vegetables arent real#its all fruit or leafs or seeds. pizza is a vegetable. hell especially if you can put veggie toppings on there instead if just eating plain#cheese pizza like me. thats vegetable. idk how to help ppl who have issues w veggies Texturally bc i Love vegetable textures theyre so much#nicer to me than meat texture. fruit textures also my beloved. unless they arent. bananas love to play games#if its taste thats the issue tho i say find a sauce u like and go crazy. douse it in sauce til its just vegetable texture that tastes like#yummy sauce
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tibli · 11 months
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im glad i grew up w funny, clearly neurodivergent parents bc i like to think my humor is one of my best qualities
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saviorkink · 7 months
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x
#so its been 3 months exactly since me & my ex like... said farewell#very dramatically#i just found out he blocked me on tiktok. 2 months ago i would've been devastated but now i just feel kinda bummed out#like is this really how 4 years of best friendship & 1 year of dating fuckery ends? damn lol it wasn't even all that#but mostly i just think its extremely pathetic & childish and LOSERRRR BEHAVIORRRR . for a 100k tiktok acc#to block a 150 follower account that doesnt even follow him + doesnt interact#like ok you said you weren't in love with me?? yet you feel the need to block me 3 months after the fact#im minding my business unless he breaks first (which has been the case a few times)#its still hard to get over him but he's making it easier every day!#just yesterday i was on the train On my way! to a concert & i remembered the afternoon before my harry concert in june last night#the mutual interest if you will had been re-established like a week prior & i texted him if he wanted to hang out and he said yes (ofc)#and the tension.......... GOD I MISS THATHSFDJKFS#walking around decathlon flirting oh it was SO STUPIDDD. THE GIGGLES. personally i've never really experienced that on that level before bc#like it's the best friends to lovers thing its the fact that we both felt the energy shift very clearly and were leaning into it#but not actually doing anything about it yet#just making stupid jokes flirting giggling but acting like actually nothing is going on#when i damn well know that if any of my friends saw us that afternoon they would've side eyed us SOOOOO HAARDDDDD#not to wax poetic over the guy who fucked me over so many times but. the electric energy .....#i'm probably not going to feel That ever again#whatever! whatever#txt
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salsflore · 1 year
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going to sleep soon ~ let me get some things off my chest here.... my eyes are super itchy again (fell into the trap of snuggling my cat even when i swore i wouldn't do it again)
#cw vent#this is bc i have a math exam tmrw I’M SORRYYY i feel some kind of way about that#this is the first exam where i am near confident i will fail. and its just kinda sucky#my mental maths is really poor and due to the fact i skipped grades (unable to afford Education) i don’t know a lot of things my peers know#my results as they are right now? theyre genuinely ok. not bad. but theres still gaps made by the years of missing out on school#this is one of them#its so embarrassing having my classmate look at me weirdly when i ask her about something that should totally be obvious or#something silly like that. i don’t know. its especially hard for me to be interested in maths because my old maths teacher has#literally fucked me up i’m so intimidated by every math teacher ever and i just hate the feeling of being stupid or whatever#i don’t enjoy being comforted by A+ students bc theyre like cmonn its totally fine!! i relate i got a 39/40 :(#or my friends who make jokes about how stupid i am and its just aghhh#its already been almost a year since ive enrolled in school again but i still feel so out of place#so miserable i could just die#so miserable i think i SHOULD die#and i'm just nervous about getting an absolute 0. failing my first test made me want to literally kill myself#sorry for being dramatic but when you have a sister whos awards and certificates fill your house shelf its kind of like........#aghhhh!!!! maybe i should just accept that i'm good for nothing at all!!!!!!#not that great with numbers or formulas. probably not that great at writing either. nor am i as eloquent as i'd like to be ~#not artistically inclined. science is a bore. not ~ naturally ~ adept with neither languages nor history! psychology! economics! sports!#forgive me for not being able to do anything good at all ... zzz
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dethbug · 2 years
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does your mood ever just get completely ruined remembering every embarrassing thing youve ever said
#the amount of times ive made shit attempts at fitting in at work through the mutual teasing everyone does but like#going in way too hard and making everyone uncomfortable#i love when i do that#or when i say something really fucking stupid that makes me laugh but everyone just kinda looks around in silence#also another favorite of mine 💔 FUCK MAN#i know people joke abt being awkward and stuff but THIS AINT QUIRKY#THIS IS EMBARRASSING . AND JUST PLAIN AWFUL#like one time i was messing around and my boss was making jokes abt how hes my favorite or something#and said something abt getting a hug from me (not as creepy as im describing#i really just dont remember specifics)#and i deadass said 'i have never wanted to hug you a day in my life' AND EVERYONE WENT 😶 and i walked away BFJFJG#MF LITERALLY FOLLOWED ME INTO THE BREAK ROOM TO BE LIKE 'hey we're cool right'#LIKE BRO I DIDNT EVEN PICK UP ON HOW AWKWARD IT MADE EVERYONE FEEL UNTIL AFTER I WAS LIKE...YEAH DUDE I WAS TOTALLY JUST KIDDING....#*painful realization of how unfunny it was to say that*#WHICH HONESTLY. unfair bc i can name a coworker specifically thats mean as shit on purpose as a joke and has made fun of me multiple times#LIKE HE SAYS HARSHER SHIT AND ITS LANDED IDK HOW THE FUCKER DOES IT 💔#maybe i should just not try and joke like that#its just so bad idk how to relate to people or. be natural and just hang out#how tf do people just DO THAT.#anyway sorry for the huge rant i just needed to get it out of my system bc holy fuck man 😭 ITS SO BADDD#bug.txt
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anissapierce · 2 years
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No nuance november is still happening even though its December wrt morocco n western sahara
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marsbotz · 3 months
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think i got spoiled for life on mars bc i wanted to make a stupid fucking post abt gene x sam hatesex. TWICE spoiled
#when will i learn. i just wanted an image of them#anyways gene is straight but he WOULD do sam in like a roman way.#i mean they already had a fight club style post fight smoke sesh and ppl made bets on who wld pull a gun on the other first. if you get me#I DONT SHIP THEM BTW lol i just think its funny. theyre funny. genes stupid twink partner#also completely unrelated i think they implied gene got pegged in one ep ?! unless i misinterpreted the joke#sam is so funyyyyyy. my stupid fucking loser boy#chad 'gay boy science' sam vs virgin 'i am not gay' bbc watson#dude gay boy science makes me giggle so hard whenever i think abt it#apart from sam i rlly like annieeeeee.. ANNIEEEE... and chris too hes crazy funny#OHHHH i love this showwww.#i know theres a sequel series but its not abt sam so idgaffffff.#i cant look too hard to see if sam is in it bc of insane spoiler risk but mannnnn. MY BOYYYYY. come back to meeee#btw i think sammmm is bi. and transssss everyone get hit with my trans beam#love you sammy wammy#i hope the series finlae is good butttt whatver if not. s1 finale was sooooo good im happy w that as a nice good sam plot#s2 has felt kinda stupid compared but i guess we will see how it pans out. i only have like 3 eps left#will b very interesting.#i dont know and dont rlly have a theory rn but it seems like hes being used as a test subject moreso than being in hospital now as of s2#it wld be crazyyyy funny tho if it was like for real kinda time travel and theyre like 'pls say u didnt change anything too much' like Gulp#like obvs theres all the cases hes helped solve. but also weird timeloop stuff like seeing his 4 yr old self etc#but like dude hes also terrible. he just drops future facts abt politics and music and technology like . FOR FUN LOL#love u sammy PLEASE STAY SAFE
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mithomite · 8 months
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curtains
#tw vent#tw sui#alright with that out of the way.#i have two friends in the psych hospital right now.#what a fucking world huh?#both just turned 18.#it does make a girl feel a little worse about feeling worse....#funny how that works . isnt it#UGH im just. i genuinely am so finished with everything. i dont care about graduating! i dont!!!#i dont have any concrete aspirations besides something that i cannot possibly achieve until 2030.#im tired and its that stupid wintertime bone tired again. except now doesnt just feel like im drifting through my daily routine#there are PEOPLE MISSING. GONE.#and i cant even begin to be there for the rest of my friends god knows#and on top of the world collapsing in its everything in gaza and everything in my immediate family and everything with everyone else#and i want to scream all the time and im not even hydrated enough to be crying so i cant do that and theres too much happening#i don't have time for this i need to get back on track i need to fix it#i just dont know how!!!!!! i cant even think about it!!!!!!#and on top of all of this because of fucking course theres more#i have to 'give it to god'. thats what every single person has said to me today.#what a fucking joke ! give it to god! stop being worried or sad or stressed!!! make someone up and pretend its their problem!!!!#i will fall apart and it will be soon. there is no unless.#ugh. sorry just . the world is so so bad right now and i genuinely cannot see it getting better at all ever.#america is going to hell everyone is dying or trying to die and i am not going to graduate
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