#i know its the exams i know its because i need to suddenly learn so much french

[goatboard]

ah anxiety....

[leclerced]

Heyyy hope you have a good day, i come bearing new thots

Credit where credit’s due, the idea is an old and deleted roger Taylor fic and not from me.

HOWEVER. Im now obsessed with this scenario with either lando or oscar (ill let you choose <3)

Roommate!AU !!!

Imagine you’re friends and roommates with lando or oscar and he has to study for his upcoming biology exam at uni. The topic? Female reproductive organs🤭

He just genuinely struggles with understanding the anatomy of a vagina and that picture in his damn book is absolutely not recognisable.

And since him and reader are friends and she doesn’t think thoughts all the way through she offers him to look at hers. I mean hes seen her shirtless a million times its nbd.

And staring at her beautiful pussy really does help him - to an extend. Hes so into his studies he doesn’t really process that he asked her „can i touch it??“ and she just goes along with it bc it’s already lowkey awkward and theres no turning back now.

She tries to not make it more awkward by suppressing her moans when his finger brush over her clit all while hes just identifying parts with his thoughts oblivious to what he does to her.

And she cant keep in the moan when he pushes his fingern in and suddenly he realises what hes doing. But he sneakily keeps going until she cums and hes trying his best to keep up the ignorant act bc shes js too hot like that😩

Got damn it i need a full length version of this fic again 😭

-🫀

i want to write a full length version omfg this is incredible!!! pictured oscar immediately. kinda set in like the early 2000s in my head bc i wanted to mention dvd rentals One Time and that's not a thing anymore but that's the world i grew up in LMAO

sorry i like got too into this at first and forgot i made plans to game with my friend and rushed the ending im sorry. added read more bc it's just over 1k <3 i think i like this a lot other than the ending idk . lmk what u think i hope it meets the expectations set by the original

reader thinks oscar's an innocent idiot but he just probably shouldn't be in medical school because while he can find the clit, he certainly doesn't know the name of it.

Her roommate has been staring at the same page for half an hour, they're seated on opposite ends of the couch, leaning against the arms and facing each other. She has a Stephen King novel leaned on her propped up knees and Oscar has an open textbook balanced on one thigh and a notebook open to a blank page on the other. After another frustrated sigh leaves him, she drops her book on the coffee table and leans over to see what he's looking at. She almost laughs when she sees the miniature sketch of a vagina, "You know, the DVD rental place down the street has rated X movies."

Oscar snorts, "I'm trying to work, leave me alone. I'm supposed to learn all the anatomical names of a vagina, but the only drawing I have is in this stupid book."

She leans in further to the diagram and hums, "That's a horrible diagram, no wonder you're getting nothing done. How old is that that textbook?" He shrugs and stretches back over the arm of the couch, "Probably like thirty, the professor wrote it himself and he's ancient."

Her eyes get pulled to his hips as he reaches behind his head and groans, his shirt lifting the slightest to reveal soft skin before he drops his arms back down. She licks her lips as she directs her gaze up to his face, "I could show you mine, if you want." The swift inhale Oscar makes is audible, he keeps his gaze locked on the books in his lap as he says, "Really?" Instead of verbally agreeing, she just scoots back to where she was leaning moments before on the arm of the couch and shimmies her shorts down before she can think twice. She giggles at the look on Oscar's face as she kicks the shorts off her ankles and he takes in the sight of her panties, lacy and red. "Are you sure?"

She shrugs and teases, "Well it's not like they have 3D models. I'm sure, I wouldn't have offered otherwise. Are you sure?" He nods slowly and she tugs her panties down her thighs and smirks at the blush that creeps up his cheeks as she drops them on his lap. She doesn't know where the sudden confidence has come from, but she feels no shame as she opens her legs to him. She drops one foot to the floor and the other lifts to rest on the back of the couch. Oscar holds her eye for a moment before she watches his gaze drift down her body and he starts to lean in before pausing, "Can I get closer?" She nods at his question and answers, "As close as you want." Oscar lurches forwards, knocking the forgotten textbook to the floor as he fumbles to grab his pen and notebook to take notes.

She can't read his chicken scratch handwriting, so whatever he's scrawling about her pussy is undecipherable to her as she watches him analyze her. She's trying not to think about how this could be weird, how it is weird to offer to let your roommate use you as an anatomy dummy. It's not really the first time. He's done other things, like when he needed to practice IVs so she let him give her a banana bag the next time she was hungover. She liked teasing him about it, calling him Doctor Piastri when she let him listen to her heart with his stethoscope. Or when she comes down with a cold and she calls him into her room to diagnose and treat her, and he brings her cold medicine and soup from the deli down the street.

She's pulled out of her thoughts when he clears his throat and she meets his eyes before she hums quizzically. The pink tint that had spattered his cheeks turns into a bright red as he asks, "Can I touch you?"

She almost thinks she didn't hear him correctly, but there's no way he could have said anything else, so she tries to joke, "So you're a hands on learner, then?"

Oscar quickly counters, "Yeah, do you mind?"

It's her turn to lose her breath as she stupidly nods and blushes as she takes in the realization that he's about to touch her pussy. In the name of science, she agrees, "No, go ahead." Then, his hand is on her pussy and his focus is entirely on the space between her legs as he spreads her lips apart and she has to close her eyes and force her mind to other places as he tilts his had interestedly. She wishes she could stop her body from reacting to his touch, but she can't. Not when he pulls back the hood of her clit, she hears him writing something, then there's a soft pressure on her clit and she has to bite the inside of her cheek to not react. She tells herself not to make any sounds so it won't be weird, he's just trying to study, he's not doing anything to her really.

She can feel the wetness build under his fingers as he slips them down to her entrance and back up. She hears Oscar mutter something but she can't make it out over the blood rushing through her head as he presses his fingers back against her clit. "Is this... The labia?" The laugh she lets out is half a moan, "That's the- clit. Labia are the lips." He dips his fingers down and pinches one lightly, "This?"

She's somehow endeared by the curiosity, and sighs, "Yeah. That. Minora. The outer one is majora."

Oscar lets out a little huff, "How do you know the names? You're not even taking anatomy." His fingers find her clit again, this time lightly pinching it, and her thighs tense as he mumbles, "Clit." She hears his pen scratching across his paper and then dips his finger down to her entrance and presses inside. She wonders what he's thinking as he slowly thrusts his finger in and out of her, his other hand still writing on the paper. It's not until he slips a second finger inside of her and curls them as he suddenly presses his thumb to her clit that she breaks her silence, a whimper falling from her lips as the unexpected pleasure hits her. She somehow doesn't realize then that this isn't his first time like she thought when she saw the surprised look on her face. Then she flutters her eyes open and immediately realizes it because he's already looking up at her, a cocky smirk playing on his lips. She gasps, "You- you didn't really need help, did you?"

He shrugs innocently, "I still don't know the names, could you remind me?" She can't tell if he's being serious or not as he quickens his thumb on her clit and she's saved from responding as he pushes up her body and presses his lips to hers hungrily.

[agathaandbrienneslesbian]

In Your Words

Larissa Weems x Fem!Journalist!Reader

Hiya! I've finally finished this bad boy <3 I'm uploading this lengthy fic cause I'll be having a shit ton of Uni Exams the next few weeks and won't be able to write.

Big thanks to @weemssapphic and some other friends for proofreading this fic <3

Disclaimer: English is not my first language!

Warning: SMUT 18+, minors DNI

Authors Note: Y/N is a newsreporter and wants to write a story about Nevermore and outcasts. What happens if a normie Journalist and an outcast Headmistress work together? (I suck at descriptions, have fun xD)

Words: 9'200+

Ao3 Link

Taglist

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You sat in your little office at the news station of Jericho, finger hovering over the mouse of your computer. You were hesitating. The cursor sat neatly atop the ‘send’ button, ready to send your email to its recipient. But you hesitated. Why? You didn’t know. 

It’s true that it was frowned upon to interact with the outcasts, but you just couldn’t believe that they were as terrible as everyone said they were. You have seen them plenty of times strolling through the little city, shopping and stopping by the Weathervane for a drink. None of them ever seemed malicious or evil to you. With a deep inhale, you pressed send and quickly shut your computer off. There's no going back now. 

—

The next day at the office, you were surprised to find that the Headmistress of Nevermore Academy, Larissa Weems, has replied. With a nervous breath, you opened the email:

Dear Miss Y/l/n,

I am pleasantly surprised about learning of your interest in outcasts, my students and the school in general. There are, however, a few things I would like to clarify first.

Now, if I understood correctly, you wish to catch a glimpse into the life of an outcast to then create a report about our differences and similarities with non-outcasts? 

Because of the nature of this request, I have to let you know that I will not tolerate any sort of mockery or bad-mouthing of my students or my school. 

You will have to follow our rules, outcast or not. 

I won’t allow you to follow one of my students around, as this would pose a serious safety hazard for my students and yourself. 

However, you are very welcome to settle yourself into my office and follow me around for however many days you deem necessary. 

If this is alright with you, I would be willing to meet you coming Monday at the Weathervane and take you to the Academy. 

Sincerely,

Larissa Weems

You released the breath you were holding and smiled to yourself. You replied to Miss Weems, agreeing to her terms and wishing her a wonderful weekend. 

The following two hours consisted of preparing everything you needed for your report: a few notepads and notebooks, your laptop, a tablet, your camera and some pens. You couldn't help but feel nervous at the prospect of having the opportunity to report about the outcasts. This was not a subject anyone had ever really done research on, and you were adamant to figure out why everyone seemed so fearful of a bunch of teenagers in a school in the woods. 

Over the weekend, you exchanged a few more emails with the Principal, clearing up any last logistical problems you’ve had. 

You asked if you were allowed to stay for a week, to which she replied that it would be no problem if you agreed to stay in one of the empty studios that were meant for teachers at Nevermore. 

Of course, you agreed.

Monday rolled around, and you were standing in front of the Weathervane, waiting for the Principal of Nevermore to pick you up. You have heard descriptions of her, and you knew she frequented the little Café a lot, yet you have never seen her in person before. Absentmindedly, you sipped on your hot chocolate, typing something on your phone, when suddenly:

“Miss Y/l/n I presume?” A soft voice with a wonderful British accent sounded from beside you. You turned your head to be met with a beige coat. Having to look up you finally made eye contact with the woman whose beautiful voice ripped you out of your thoughts.

You smiled up at her, nervousness flooding your chest as you took in the beauty of the woman in front of you.

“Principal Weems. It’s a pleasure to meet you!” you said quietly, nerves completely taking over your logical mind and body. You reached your hand out to shake hers. She took her beige glove off, and took your hand in hers. Her hand was soft, warm and wrapped perfectly around yours. Perfectly manicured red nails decorated her pale skin. 

“Likewise!” She smiled down at you and removed her hand, putting her glove on again, and you immediately missed the feeling of her hand on yours. 

“Are you ready for us to leave, Miss Y/l/n?”

“Oh… yes, of course!” You grabbed your bag with your equipment and personal items and followed her to her car. You set your luggage in the boot and sat in the passenger seat. Larissa sat in the driver's seat and started driving towards the Academy. After some silence, you spoke up again.

“Thank you so much for letting me stay at the Academy for a week.” Larissa smiled to herself and quickly glanced over at you before eyeing the road again.

“I should thank you. My students usually don’t get this sort of… exposure to the outside world. We are used to people avoiding us because of… fear or discrimination… whatever you want to call it.” Her tone shifted to a quieter and more serious one, her hands gripping the steering wheel just a little tighter. You sensed a shift in energy and gave her a reassuring smile. 

“I believe everyone deserves a chance to be understood and seen.” You replied, and that seemed to relax the headmistress. She shot you a thankful smile, then focused back on the road, the rest of the ride being spent in comfortable silence.

—

Once at Nevermore, Larissa showed you around the grounds, having one of the teachers carry your possessions to the on-campus studio flat, which will be your new home for the following week. 

Roaming the halls, it didn’t seem much different than a school for regular humans (besides it being incredibly fancy, of course) and you found that the students seemed like sweet kids. Truly, you couldn’t understand how there was so much hatred and fear surrounding these kids. 

Larissa led you to her office, offering you a separate desk to work on. You set your laptop bag on the desk and turned to look at the headmistress, who was standing next to her desk.

“Now, Miss Y/l/n, you are free to follow me around the Academy whenever you want, but I trust you understand why I wouldn’t want you roaming the halls on your own.” She looked at you with a raised eyebrow.

“Of course, Miss Weems!” you reassured her quickly. “I understand how important it is for you to protect these kids… but I can assure you there are no ill intentions by me being here! After what I’ve seen thus far, I cannot believe why anyone would be fearful of outcasts. This is why I’m here. I don’t believe that these kids are as dangerous as everyone in Jericho, let alone the rest of the world, believes them to be.” You looked at her, and there was a slight shift of emotion on her face. Hope? Distrust? Surprise? You didn't know. After a few seconds of silence, the headmistress spoke up again.

“Very well,” she said, grinning at you with her million-dollar-winning smile. “If you ever feel like you would like to see more of the school or learn about its history, don’t be afraid to ask.” Her smile softened slightly. She seemed very fond of her students and her Academy. It truly warmed your heart, and you couldn't help but blush slightly. With a slight nod, you thanked her and sat down, getting your things ready to start your research. 

Every now and then throughout the morning, you caught yourself glancing over at the tall woman. She sat in perfect posture, working on her laptop and typing away on some emails or documents. You didn’t realise how long you had been staring at her. The way her eyes flicked over the screen and the way she swiftly moved her fingers over the keyboard had you in a trance-like state. Her perfectly painted red lip curled up on the side, and she raised one of her eyebrows.

“Has no one taught you that staring is rude?” Her eyes flicked over to yours, and you quickly averted your eyes back on your own screen, mumbling a quiet ‘sorry’ her way. Your face felt hot, and you knew you were blushing, hard. Larissa chuckled and shook her head a bit in amusement. She stopped her typing and leaned back against the seat, turning to look at you, studying you as if she were… considering you. Shyly, you moved your gaze back to her. 

“Would you like to have a look at one of the classes? Our subjects can vary drastically from the ones in your schools.” she smiled at you and tilted her head slightly. 

“I-I would appreciate that, yes.” You answered, nodding, and quickly moved to grab your notepad and pen. When you looked back up, Larissa was already standing and walking towards the door of her office, only stopping to wait for you to catch up. 

This morning, the headmistress took you to several classes, telling you about all the different subjects they have. You eagerly took notes, asking questions and listening intently to subjects you’d never heard of. Magic, transformation, siren song, etc. You were fascinated, and that didn’t get lost on Larissa. The longer she watched you, the more fond she grew of you. Your interest and amazement made her heart swell with pride for her school and her students. Even though she was rather careful of what to show you, she felt that this might be the biggest step ever made for outcasts to be accepted into everyday normie lives. 

—

The day went by way faster than you would have wished for it. You have learned so much and were eager to learn even more. Larissa had taken her time explaining their school system to you and while you saw drastic differences, it still didn’t feel too out of the norm. There was one particular student that caught your eye. A rebel, you thought, someone who likes to prank and go against the rules. Those exist in every school, of course, but this girl seemed different. She did it with such nonchalance and elegance that it was almost invisible to the untrained eye. 

After asking the headmistress, she told you about the student. Not much, just enough to answer your questions. Larissa seemed tense so you decided to change the subject, asking her about her own time at the school, and from then on the two of you got completely lost in conversation. Hours passed, and you shared your school experiences and collectively decided that they weren't all too different. With a heavy sigh, you leaned against the couch and watched Larissa refill yours and her wine glass. 

“I have to be honest, even after just one day I have seen enough to tell you that this,” you waved your hand around, “is definitely nothing to be afraid or weary of. I mean… I always knew that the other… “normies”... are being way too sensitive when it comes to this place and its students but seeing it for myself… I simply can’t understand why there's so much hate and fear towards these poor students.” You sighed and took a sip of wine. “I mean… they're just kids aren't they?” You glanced up at the headmistress to see her smiling at you softly, humming in agreement. 

“I have to be honest, Miss Y/l/n-”

“Y/n! You can call me Y/n if you want to,” you interrupted her with a smile, looking back into your glass as you felt your face blush.

“Y/n… I am surprised and… relieved.” She smiled sweetly at you then looked into the fireplace, a sad expression crossing her face. “I wish more people could see the kids for who they are instead of for what they are.” A sigh left her lips and she took a sip of wine. “It’s not easy being… different… an outcast. You can try all you want, there will always be a hint of fear and doubt in non-outcasts.” She turned to look at you, her icy blues piercing yours. “Are you afraid, Y/n?” she asked, quietly, almost inaudible, but you caught the slight shiver in her voice. It broke your heart to see her like this. You didn’t really know that woman except for what she was willing to tell you, but you knew, without a doubt, that she was the most precious being on the entire planet, and you would move planets just to see her at peace. Without really thinking about it, you set your glass down and moved to hold one of her hands.

“Miss Weems… Larissa… if I may?” you started, gently, and she nodded at you, “I do not claim to know what you and your students have to go through, day by day. Being villainized, misunderstood and what not. But what I do know is that I want to help you make a difference. The kids are nothing but kids… Powers and mutations aside… No matter how different you may seem from me, you are still a person. You don’t deserve to be treated like they treat you… all of you.” You smiled at her with a caring expression on your face and gently squeezed her hand. Larissa looked at you, eyes trained on your face, searching for lies, but she couldn't find any. She inhaled shakily and took a big sip of her wine then squeezed your hands back.

“Thank you,” was all she replied. You didn’t need more. You knew she meant it. You felt it. With a last gentle squeeze, you let go of her hand, grabbing your glass again.

“To my… to our project!” you smirked and raised your glass to her. She chuckled and shook her head slightly, looking back at you endearingly and raised her glass as well. 

“To our project.”

—

As the week went on, Larissa and you started to develop a little routine. You would meet her in the morning to go to the Weathervane and get some breakfast to-go, spend the morning in her office or with a teacher of her choice (mostly Marilyn Thornhill), have lunch with her and the teachers, writing and researching in Larissas office, a dinner with staff and at the end of the day, a glass (or sometimes a bottle) of her favourite wine on the couch in front of the fireplace. Being around Larissa was incredibly easy. You loved talking to her, listening to her, discussing topics other than schools and outcasts. You felt safe, comfortable… you felt at home. And you weren’t the only one who felt this way. Larissa would catch herself, more than she’d like to admit, looking at you, watching you with adoration as you wrote and researched. She liked you. It wasn't a secret. She loved being around you and was looking forward to the evenings at the fireplace. A refreshing difference she desperately needed. Larissa had grown very fond of you, and she hoped you felt the same. 

When Friday evening rolled around you were already sitting on the couch in Larissa’s office, waiting for her to come back with the wine as it suddenly hit you. It was already Friday… you’ll be leaving again on Monday. You’ll have to go back to your office and finish the report. Would you be able to see her again? Could you stay in contact? Larissa entered, placing the bottle and glasses on the table then saw the light crease between your brows as you stared into the flames of the fireplace, obviously deep in thought. 

“Y/n?” she asked softly, and laid her hand on your shoulder, and you snapped your head towards her, not having heard her appear next to you. “Are you alright dear?” 

“Yeah!..yeah.” You smiled up at her, watching her sit down next to you and opening the wine bottle. “I’ve just realised that it’s already Friday… The week really went by in a flash, huh?” You took the wineglass she held out to you and looked at it, swishing the red liquid around absent-mindedly. Larissa’s heart constricted seeing you like this. 

“It did! But… as upsetting as it is, I am glad to see that you enjoyed your week here!” She took a sip of her wine and watched you closely. “That being said, seeing how my students seemed to like you being around,” and I, she thought, “you are more than welcome to return whenever you feel like it.” She watched you closely, seeing your eyes light up made her feel warm and content. 

“I would love that Larissa. Thank you! And you are always welcome at the news station. I’ll make sure the others behave, don't worry.” you giggled and winked at her which pulled a small laugh from her lips and she shook her head amusedly. “I mean it!” You smiled as you snuggled into the couch and took a sip of wine, humming as the liquid hit your tongue, “If any of your students ever wants to know more about journalism or is interested in it, let me know. Matter of fact…” you sat up and straightened your back, holding your hand out to the blonde, “give me your phone I’ll give you my number so you can just let me know in case there is something.” 

Larissa hesitated. She looked at your hand for a second, then smiled shyly and grabbed her phone, unlocking it and handing it to you to type in your number. She watched fondly as you typed your number in her phone. A slight tingle spread from her chest over her body as she took her phone back after you’ve saved your number. 

“Thank you!” she said quietly, “I- really do appreciate it… everything you do. For us. Me and the students.” A soft pink colour kissed her cheeks and she gave you a truly heartfelt smile. You smiled back at her, butterflies spreading through your whole body. Her smile was the most beautiful thing you have ever seen. You knew right there, she had you wrapped around her finger. You have fallen. 

—

You were able to finish your report on the last day of your stay in Nevermore, handing it in to be reviewed by your boss so it could be printed and released asap. With a heavy sigh, you leaned back into the chair, stretching your arms and back. Larissa smiled over at you and set her paperwork aside.

“I take it you’ve just handed in your story to be reviewed?” she asked with a gentle smile. Her eyes held a hint of sadness at the realisation that her office would be empty once again. You smiled over at her and nodded gently.

“Yes! Just handed it in! If everything goes well, you’ll be able to read it on Tuesday! And Larissa… thank you again… for everything!” 

The blonde stood up, walking over to your side, and placed her hand on your shoulder, squeezing it gently. 

“I should thank you. This… means way more to us than you could ever imagine!” Her smile was warm, eyes soft. You felt a shudder rush down your spine as you realised that you haven’t seen her this soft with anyone but you. All of this vulnerable affection was only directed towards you, only to be seen by your eyes. 

You wanted to tell her… tell her that you like her. Tell her that she is the most beautiful woman you’ve ever had the pleasure to lay your eyes on. Just as you were about to open your mouth, she pulled away. 

“If you want to, I can drive you back. I could drop you off at the Weathervane or.. At your place, if you prefer?” Larissa spoke, closing her laptop and putting her paperwork into a drawer. The headmistress didn’t want you to go, but she knew that if she would let you stay longer, she wouldn't be able to hold herself back. Certainly you wouldn’t feel the same… right?

“That.. that would be nice! Thank you!” you replied, feeling defeated. Maybe it was better to keep your feelings to yourself. Who knows, maybe she wasn’t interested in women.. Or simply normies. You took a deep breath, collecting your things and going to your room to pack the last few things. When you returned to the headmistress’ office, she was already waiting for you. 

The drive back to Jericho was rather quiet. Neither of you knew what to say to the other. You wanted to tell her everything, pour your heart out to her and so did she, but you stayed quiet. Once you arrived at your Flat Complex, Larissa turned to you. 

“It was really nice having you at Nevermore. Again, thank you for doing this for us. And… If you should ever want to come and visit, you are more than welcome to do so! I am sure the Students would love to see you again sometime.” and herself… but she didn't say that.  You gave her a genuine smile, nodding slightly. 

“I enjoyed my week there! You truly have wonderful students. And, I mean, you have my number so… if you or any of the kids should ever need something, just feel free to contact me!” You hoped she would contact you, but only time could tell. 

—

It has been a month since you’ve last heard from Larissa. Your article got approved, and she complimented you on it, thanking you again profusely. That was the last, and only, time you’ve heard of her after staying at Nevermore. Sure, she was a busy woman, but you couldn’t help but feel upset. And you wouldn’t text her first, no. The anxiety that arose in you every time you tried to do so was enough to completely freeze you. So when you walked into the Weathervane on a Thursday morning to grab a coffee, you were more than delighted to see her there, quickly walking up to her.

“Good morning, Principal Weems” you said softly, watching her turn around and seeing her eyes light up as she saw you. 

“Good morning Y/N!” she replied with a smile. That darn beautiful smile of hers. “Are you also here to grab some breakfast before work?” she asked, turning fully to you, all herattention focused on you, your face, those eyes she came to admire over the time you’ve spent at her school. 

“I am but.. Uhm… if you’re not in a hurry, would you like to have breakfast with me?” you did it, you asked her. The second the question left your lips, you felt your cheeks heat up. Larissa looked at you with adoration and nodded. 

“I would love to, actually!” She smiled and tilted her head slightly. She noticed your blush and couldn’t help but feel giddy about it. Was she the reason you blushed?

“Wonderful! What do you want? It’s my treat!” You smile, feeling a bit more confident now, seeing her soft and happy gaze directed only at you. 

“Oh, you really don’t have to-”

“But I want to!” 

Larissa sighed, shaking her head slightly with a grin, and chuckled at how adamant you were.

“Fine. Next time, it’s my treat!” She gave you her order and went to sit at a booth, waiting for you to join her. You couldn’t believe your ears. Next time? There will be a next time? The smile that spread on your lips could only be described as the smile of a happy fool. Truly, you were a fool. A fool for her. 

After you’ve ordered and paid for your coffees and pastries, you made your way over to her, slipping into the booth. 

“So… how have you been? How have the kids been?” you asked, trying to make small talk. You felt so awkward, but that feeling quickly washed away as you saw Larissa’s soft smile.

“Very well! Your report had quite the impact on how people from Jericho treat my students. I just wanted to thank you again. The effect this has had on our lives is way greater than I could have hoped for. The article… your words… truly left an impact.” She reached her hand out, grabbing yours and squeezing it lightly.

“Thank you!”

Your smile grew tenfold, and you squeezed her hand back. 

“I am so happy to hear that this has worked out so well for you and your students.” You shyly pulled your hand back and thanked the waiter when he placed your drinks and pastries in front of you.

“How have you been y/n?” Larissa asked. She was looking at you… into you… into your soul with those beautiful ice-y blue eyes. You felt your cheeks heat up and grabbed your cup as well, trying to ground yourself. 

“I’ve been well! The Article has caught a lot of attention, so I’ve been rather busy lately…” You smiled at her and took a sip as she watched. 

“Though I do have to say, I miss being around the kids…” and around you, you thought to yourself. The blonde eyed you over her coffee mug and smiled sweetly. 

“In that case, would you like to come to the Rave’N this weekend?” She did it… she asked you. Her heart was beating like crazy but seeing the light blush covering your face she couldn't help but feel proud of herself. 

“The Rave’N? Really?” You asked, not believing your ears. Larissa nodded and tilted her head. 

“Yes really! Our theme this year is ‘Climate crisis meets extinction effect’ and the dress code is white.” She took a bite of her pastry and smiled at you. You thought for a second. You didn’t have any white outfits, so you’d definitely have to buy one, but you’d be damned if you wouldn’t agree to her invitation.

“In that case, I’d love to!” The smile you gave her made Larissa’s heart melt. How were you so precious? She nodded slightly. 

“I’ll have Marilyn pick you up here at around 5:30pm on Saturday. The students will be excited to see you again!” She finished her coffee and snack and stood up.

“I’d love to stay longer, but I have to get back to Nevermore… I’ll see you this Saturday, dear.” and with that, she left your flustered self in the Weathervane.

—

Shopping for an appropriate but also impressive garment was not easy. You currently had 2 dresses in front of you and couldn’t decide which one to pick. One was made of silk and rather simple but had an extravagant high slit up your right thigh and a very low back, whereas the other covered more of your back and arms but was a bit shorter with a princess gown puff skirt. You sighed and decided to put them on again, took a picture of you wearing them and sent them to Marilyn. You and her had gotten rather close during the week you spent at Nevermore, and you’d kept contact even afterwards. She was such a sweetheart, but she was also a pain in the ass as she has been nagging you about your outfit all afternoon already. 

It didn’t take long for you to be flooded with messages of Marilyn going crazy over the silk dress. 

Marilyn:

“Oh, you SO have to get the silky one! Larissa won’t be able to keep her eyes off of you”

Y/N:

“What do you mean? Why would you say that?”

Marilyn: 

“Oh come ooooon… It is SOOOOOOO obvious that you have the hots for her… just pick the silk one.”

You were sure Marilyn would laugh at you if she could see you right now. Your face was bright red because you’d been found out. Was it really that obvious? Did Larissa know? Was that why she invited you? Could she... no. No, that probably wasn’t the case... Just wishful thinking. With a sigh you looked back on your phone. 

Y/N:

“Fine. I’ll get the silk one. But just because you picked it 😛”

You got dressed again and went to buy the garment. 

Once back at home, you took your time to look for hair and makeup inspiration to complete your look and be ready for Saturday. Marilyn and you had been texting back and forth all day, and she’d helped you pick the perfect hairstyle and makeup for the Rave’N.

You were nervous… of course you were, but there was this little glimmer of hope starting to take hold within you. Maybe Larissa really did like you.

—

You were waiting in front of the Weathervane for Marilyn to come and pick you up. 

Were you nervous? Absolutely! 

Were you excited? Definitely! 

But you couldn’t help and worry… worry about… you were actually not sure. Your nerves were getting the better of you and there was nothing that could be done against it. Not that you haven’t tried… you definitely did! You went through every trick in the book.

Breathing exercise? No effect.

Meditation? Nothing.

A tea? That just made you worried that you would spill it on your dress, so that wasn’t helping at all. 

So you just stood there… waiting.

“Hey! You good?” you suddenly heard someone call out to you and released a sigh. 

“Marilyn! Hey!” You smiled at your friend and got into the car, leaning over to give her a hug. 

“Not really… my nerves are taking over right now.” You groaned. 

“You’re just making yourself crazy over nothing! Relax! You’ll be fine!” she smirked and turned her gaze back onto the road, starting towards Nevermore. 

“You look amazing by the way!”

You chuckled and looked out of the window. You did look nice… it also took you forever to get ready. You had braided some hair along the sides of your head and pulled everything up into a fluffy space bun, which you decorated with some crystal pins. Your makeup was soft, in nude colours, with a soft peach lip and some sparkly eyeshadow on your eyelids. The dress fit perfectly and hugged every curve of your body, and you had found the perfect off-white heels in your closet. 

“Thank you! Wouldn’t have managed to pull this off without you!” You smile and look over at the redhead. Marilyn was grinning to herself.

“If you two hook up, I deserve to be invited to dinner by you!” Your shocked gasp caused her to laugh out loud.

“Oh come on! I know you want her… and to be quite honest…” She raised an eyebrow and glanced over at you with a mischievous smirk. “I think the feelings are mutual.”

The blush that spread on your face was all Marilyn needed to know she was right.

“You’ll see! She’ll be absolutely smitten with you looking like this.”

“We’ll see…” you reply, watching the scenery outside. 

Marilyn parked the car and ran around to open the door for you with a dramatic bow. 

“M’lady.” she chuckled, and you rolled your eyes amusedly as you got out of the car. 

“You’re an idiot!” 

The teacher smirked and moved to hold her arm out for you to hold. She led you into the building and guided you towards the great hall. 

You weren’t expecting to be swarmed by students the second you entered the ballroom. 

“Hi Y/N! What are you doing here?”

“You look gorgeous! Who invited you?”

“It’s so nice you’re back! Come! Let's go dance!”

“Do you want something to drink? I’ll get you some punch!”

You were being surrounded and swarmed by the students, and it warmed your heart to see how excited they were by your presence. Marilyn slipped away from you without you noticing, the second she realised someone was walking up to the newly formed commotion around your presence. You struggled answering all of their questions when suddenly you felt a hand on your shoulder and the students grew quiet. 

“Now, now… dear y/n has just arrived, don’t crowd her like that. You’ll have enough time to have a chat with her tonight.” The smooth British voice echoed from behind you and a pleasant shudder ran down your spine. The students nodded and went back to their friends on the dance floor. You turned around to look up at the principal. 

Larissa couldn’t help but let her eyes roam over your figure. The dress you chose was absolutely exquisite, your makeup complimenting the simplicity of the outfit and your hair that just looked too soft. Vulgar thoughts flooding her mind as she finally caught your eyes. You were looking up at her with big doe eyes, so innocent and sweet. 

“Come in! Want something to drink?” she asked as she gently took your arm and led you into the ballroom. You couldn’t believe your eyes. Larissa looked… She was a goddess. Her hair was up like always but decorated with some intricate curls, her usual red lipstick a wonderful contrast to the silver dress she was wearing. Looking up at her, you saw her eyes scanning you, your heart skipping a beat. Her pupils dilated as she finally landed on your eyes, and you had to suppress a whimper. This woman will be the death of you. It took you a few seconds to register her question and notice her arm intertwined with yours. 

“I- yes… please!” you answered quietly, not being able to suppress the grin gracing your lips. 

Larissa handed you a glass of punch and took one herself. You stood at the edge of the dance floor with her, watching the kids having fun. 

You really wanted to dance with her, but didn’t know how to ask. Should you ask? What if she said no? What if she thought you were weird, and she only wanted to invite you for the kids’ sake? But… What if she said yes? What then? You didn’t know how to dance. Sure, you have visited your fair share of parties, but you didn’t think you were a good dancer. And what if you started dancing, and you didn’t do it right, and she would start laughing and-

“What's going on in that head of yours, darling?” Larissa’s soft voice pulled you out of your thoughts. You looked up at her just to catch her already looking at you. Her eyes were soft, a hint of concern shimmering in them. She looked so… soft. You just wanted to pull her into an embrace, a kiss, soft and full of affection. Taking a breath in, you set your glass on a table then held your hand out to her.

“Would you like to dance, Larissa?” you asked, heart hammering in your chest as you saw her eyes widen ever so slightly in surprise. A sweet pink hue coloured her cheeks as she blinked at you a few times, registering what you just asked her. Larissa quickly placed her glass on the table next to yours and moved to put her hand into yours, looking up at you with a shy smile, nodding. 

“I would love to!” she said quietly, almost above a whisper. The bright smile that appeared on her face was enough to get her heart racing and head spinning. Your eyes were practically sparkling with glee, and it made her feel so fuzzy and warm inside. To have such happiness and excitement directed towards her was a privilege she’s never experienced before. You giddily pulled her onto the dance floor, not believing your luck. 

Marilyn was watching from the corner, watching as you pulled Larissa onto the dance floor. She smirked at the two of you, but something felt weird… the music!

A mischievous smirk graced her features as she waddled off to the DJ and asked him to play a slow and romantic song. The second the music changed, you and Larissa shot a look over at the DJ, seeing Marilyn standing there, innocently waving at the two of you. Oh, you were so going to get revenge on her for that. Your anxiety started kicking in again, but before you could start overthinking it you felt warm hands on your waist. Larissa was pulling you closer, and she just hoped you wouldn’t pull away. 

“Is this okay?” Her piercing blue orbs held steady eye contact with you, and you felt your face heat up. With a nod, you move to place your arms on her shoulders, hands close to her neck. She smiled and started swaying with you to the rhythm of the song. Seeing you so shy and flustered by her gave her the necessary courage to take a step closer. She leaned her head down to your ear, causing a shiver to run down your spine. 

“You look absolutely delectable tonight, my dear. Have you picked this outfit just for me?” Her hot breath on your skin caused you to bite your lip. You nodded.

“I was hoping you’d like it.” You replied quietly. Larissa tightened her grip on you, squeezing your waist gently, which caused a gasp to leave your lips. 

“Dressing up nicely just for me?” She husked, feeling herself getting more confident. Emboldened by the way your body… you reacted to her. 

“You’re such a good girl!” You could hear the smirk in her voice. Closing your eyes, you took a deep breath, trying to steady yourself.

“It’s a shame this dress will be laying somewhere scattered in my quarters after this ball is over.” 

You tightened your grip on her shoulders, pulling her closer. Your heart felt like it was beating out of your chest. The tension was high, atmosphere thick with desire. You felt your knees tremble, ready to take whatever she was willing to give you. You pulled your head back a bit, just enough to look into her eyes, and what you saw almost made you whimper with anticipation. Her usually so pale blue eyes were dark, lustrous, her breathing heavier than usual and her lips were slightly parted. 

Before either of you could say or do anything, you felt something drip on your cheek. Confusedly, you blinked a few times, and Larissa eyed your cheek in concern.

The drips quickly multiplied, and soon you were showered in, what you believed to be, blood. Your eyes widened as you looked around, unable to move. Everything was getting soaked with this red liquid. What was happening?

Larissa was the first to move. She pulled away from you but grabbed your hand and quickly led you outside, the other staff helping the kids get out of the ballroom as well. Some fled into the courtyard and some into the school halls. There was a big commotion amongst the students, and you and Larissa immediately sprang into action, trying to calm the scared kids. Marilyn came running with a pile of blankets and towels to wrap around the sopping pupils. 

Whatever had happened, it was clearly meant as an attack of sorts. You were fuming.  Even after all the positive feedback you got for your report, there were still some bad apples in the normie bunch. If you ever caught who did that, they would surely regret pulling a stunt like that.

—

After the, you now knew it to be, red dyed water attack, you helped Larissa, Marilyn and the other employees to bring the kids inside and to their dorm rooms. After the last student was brought to their room, you stood in the foyer, watching Larissa talk to the Sheriff. You could tell she was agitated… mad. But yet she kept her composure, talked calmly and was respectful. A light bump against your shoulder alerted you to the presence of your friend.

“Hey… thanks for your help! You really didn’t have to, you know?” Marilyn smiled defeatedly at you, and you returned the smile. 

“It’s okay! I really didn’t mind… Just wished that this wouldn’t have happened… it’s not like they already have it hard enough and now that… I was really hoping that my report had a bigger impact but-”

“Don’t say that!” Marilyn interrupted, “Your article was eye-opening for so many people in town! It definitely helped! Big time! There’s just always gonna be a few assholes trying to ruin everything again.” She was clearly frustrated as well. You looked at her and chuckled, then shook your head. 

“I guess you’re right..” You sighed and rubbed the back of your neck. The two of you stood in silence for a while until Marilyn noticed you watching Larissa again and smirked. 

“Such a shame the two of you got interrupted! It almost seemed as if you were about to kiss.” She teased and your, admittedly already red, face started blushing furiously. You hit her arm lightly.

“Stop teasing!” You hissed, but Marilyn just laughed and nudged you again. 

“What are we laughing about?” You both turned your head towards the voice and saw the headmistress standing in front of you. One perfectly sculpted eyebrow raised in curiosity. Marilyn just chuckled and smirked at you, then at Larissa. 

“Oh nothing important…” She took a deep breath and then clapped her hands together, “Well… I’ll be off… gotta get that red dye out of my hair somehow. Bye bye.” She waved at the two of you, leaving you alone with Larissa once more. She really had the audacity to leave you in situations like these every single time she had the opportunity to. You sighed and pinched the bridge of your nose. Larissa watched Marilyn in confusion, then turned to you.

“Y/N… thank you for helping out with the students! I- am so sorry you had to experience this…” She sounded… sad, upset, worried? You looked up at her and saw her looking at you. 

“It’s quite alright! I’m just sad they had to experience that! It’s not fair… they’re good kids and I just don't get why anyone would want to harm them in any way…” You gave her a sad smile, then shyly reached out and grabbed her hand to squeeze it lightly. 

“But I did really enjoy dancing with you, Larissa…” she smiled back at you and squeezed your hand back. 

“As did I… uhm… would you like to come back to my quarters and get that paint washed off? Maybe have a glass of wine?” She was nervous. She was nervous and you could tell. The way her hand lightly trembled, and her eyes darted away from yours while asking. It filled your heart with that fuzzy warm feeling. You nodded and stepped to the side, still holding her hand. 

“Lead the way!”

—

In Larissa’s quarters, she quickly went into the bathroom, returning with a damp cloth and some makeup wipes in the hopes of getting the dye off your skin and hair. You managed to wipe the paint off your face without any issues, but it really stuck to your hair. Larissa went to quickly shower off the paint, and you couldn't help but think about her in the shower. Water streaming down that smooth alabaster skin. You wished you could have joined her. 

As Larissa got out of the shower, your breath got stuck in your throat. Her damp hair framed her face in gentle curls. She wasn’t wearing any makeup now, and you seriously didn’t think that this woman could get any more beautiful, but, alas, it seems you were mistaken. Before you stood a goddess in champagne coloured silk pyjamas. 

Larissa blushed lightly and smiled at you as she saw you staring. She walked up to you and gently examined your hair, your nostrils filling with the scent of her shampoo by the close proximity of her. 

“Seems the dye really stuck to your hair… here.” She handed you a fresh towel and some spare pyjamas. 

“You can take a shower if you want to!” She added quietly. You smiled back at her and nodded, taking the items in your hands. 

“Thank you! I’ll… uhm… I’ll be right back” You stammered out and quickly made your way to the bathroom. It was luxurious, like the rest of her quarters. You weren't surprised that she handed you the probably softest towel ever and the most luxurious pyjama you ever had the honour of wearing. This woman had an immaculate taste, and it was evident in every aspect of her life. 

After your quick shower, you tossed the towel into the laundry hamper in the corner of the room and walked out, your dress in your hands. That was definitely ruined now.

You entered the living room again and saw Larissa sitting on her couch in front of the fireplace, two glasses and a bottle of wine on the small table in front of it. You put your dress in your bag and sat next to her. She looked over and smiled softly, handing you a glass of wine, which you took gratefully. 

“Thank you! And thanks that I got to use your shower and… borrow some clothes! I really appreciate it.” You smiled at her and took a sip of the wine. Holy mother of god… of course, the wine was absolutely spectacular. Larissa smiled. 

“Don’t mention it. It’s the least I could do.. Plus, I do have to admit I like how my Pyjamas look on you.” She smirked and took a sip of her wine. Larissa eyed you as you just looked at her with wide eyes and a bashful look on your face. You sat the glass down and turned to look at her, clearly gathering your courage to say whatever was on your mind. She thought you looked adorable like that. However, what came out of your mouth next was not something she’d expected to hear. 

“It’s truly a shame that you didn’t get to take my dress off and discard it somewhere in your room…” You smirked at her smugly, but before you could continue your teasing, she had you already pressed against the cushion of the couch. Looking at her, you saw her eyes were full of lust, full of hunger. She gently lifted your head with her finger under your chin, forcing you to keep eye contact as she gently pressed her knee between your legs. You inhale sharply and look at her, lust evident in your gaze. 

“If you want me, all you have to do is say it.” She husked, ghosting her lips over yours. Larissa loved the way you trembled underneath her, but every time you tried to close the gap, she would pull away. 

“You have to say it, darling,” she whispered. You were getting restless, a needy whine escaping you. 

“Please Larissa…” You whimper and look at her with your best puppy eyes. 

“Please what, darling?”

“Please… I need you… I want you,” you breathe out. The heat began to build, and you could already feel that you were soaked. Larissa grinned down at you. 

“Good girl!” 

You didn’t have time to react as Larissa finally closed the gap, pulling you into a bruising kiss. It was so full of need and lust. Your lips moved against hers in perfect harmony. Wrapping your arms around her, you pulled her close. 

The kiss quickly grew hot, passionate. Larissa bit your lower lip, causing you to gasp and giving her the perfect opportunity to deepen the kiss. She explored your mouth with her tongue, leaving you in a state of dizzying bliss. Her skilled tongue fought with yours for dominance, kissing you with such fervour that both of you almost ran out of breath. 

You pulled apart just quickly to catch your breaths before Larissa attacked your neck with hot open-mouthed kisses. Trailing her tongue over your pulse point, then latching on to it and sucking hard. Your back arched into her, head tilting to the side to give her better access. 

The aching between your legs became almost unbearable. You wrapped one of your legs around her hips, pulling her closer, but Larissa gently pulled away, causing a pathetic whine to escape. 

“Patience darling!” She husked as she sat up and swiftly picked you up, carrying you to her bedroom and dropping you on the bed. The second you laid there, she was already on you again, her lips continuing their assault on your neck. Larissa moved to slowly unbutton the pyjama shirt you were wearing, but you were too impatient. With a swift motion, you helped her unbutton the rest of the shirt and pulled it off of your body, leaving you with a bare chest. Larissa chuckled darkly. 

“Impatient are we?” she roamed her hands over your soft stomach, cupping one of your breasts. Dipping her head down again, she moved to the other breast and took your hardened nipple in her mouth, teasing it with her teeth and tongue. You moved your hands in her hair, pulling gently at the sensation she was rewarding you with. Larissa moaned against your breast as a reaction which caused you to buck your hips up. You were so desperate for her, and it was so pathetic, but you didn’t care. All you could feel, small, taste, hear, was her. And you needed more.

“Rissa please,” you groaned as you felt her lips travel towards the hem of the pyjama trousers. 

“Need you,” you breathed out. Looking down, you saw her smirk up at you. As she pulled away again you were about to protest but seeing her take her blouse off silenced you immediately. You sat up, reaching out to her and running your fingertips over her body, watching goosebumps spreading over her skin. You cupped her breasts and massaged them, teasing her nipples with your fingers as you leaned in to kiss her. 

Larissa melted into your touch and kiss. Quiet sighs and moans leaving her lips as she laid you back down. 

“I need to taste you darling,” she whispered between kisses, and you whimpered in response, nodding gently. 

“Please! Please…” 

Larissa kissed her way down your body again, pulling the trousers down as she moved her kisses down your legs. She threw the trousers somewhere into the dark of the room, then moved her hands to your knees, spreading your legs gently. She groaned at the sight of a wet spot on your white lace underwear. The blonde looked up at you, watching your reaction as she ran her thumb over the wet spot, pressing down on it gently. Your back arched off the bed and your mouth opened in a quiet moan. 

“P- please Rissa… need you so bad,” you whimpered, rolling your hips against her thumb, needing more friction. In any other situation Larissa would have loved to tease you more, but she was just as desperate to taste you as you were to feel her tongue on you. So without further pause, she swiftly pulled your thong down your legs. She almost moaned at the sight of your glistening cunt in front of her. 

“All of this because of me?” she groaned and moved to kiss the inside of your thigh as you nodded. 

“You’re such a good girl, y/n.'' Larissa couldn't hold back any more. She had to taste you. The smell of your arousal made her mouth water and her head dizzy. The second her tongue made contact with your wet and hot cunt, the breath got stuck in your throat and Larissa let out one of the most vulgar moans you’ve ever heard, causing your eyes to roll to the back of your head. 

Larissa wasted no time in eating you out. Her tongue danced around your clit before she captured it between her lips and sucked. You moaned out loud, her name falling off your lips like a prayer. The way she used her mouth on you made you feel ecstatic, you felt like you were on cloud nine. The world, every responsibility you had, everything that has ever bothered or hurt you, everything that has been on your mind and stressing you out lately was just gone. 

Larissa never slowed her ministrations on you, listening to your cues, noticing how your body reacted to certain things. She loved how easily your body reacted to her. It's like you were made to be pleased by her. 

“R-issa… need more..” you gasped out between moans. You needed more of her, needed her in you. Larissa smirked and ran her tongue over the length of your slit one last time before rubbing two of her fingers against your entrance gently, coating it with your slick. You were so desperate to feel her fill you up, your hips rolling against her, motioning for her to stop teasing you. She easily slipped one finger in as soon as she thought they were wet enough. You let out a low moan and moved against her as she started pumping her finger in and out slowly. After a while, she pushed a second finger in and watched you grip the sheets. 

“You take me so well, my love.” She praised and moved kisses up your body as she picked up speed with her fingers. Larissa managed to hit spots no one ever had, curling her fingers against that soft, spongy spot that made you see stars. Your walls clenched around her fingers, and you felt the coil tighten in your abdomen. 

“M’close… Riss-ah” your moans only spurred her on more. She wanted to hear you, she wanted to see you come undone, she wanted to hear her name on your lips over and over and over again. Larissa picked up her pace again, using her thumb to rub small circles over your sensitive clit. The coil in your abdomen was about to snap, and she felt it. 

“That's it! Cum for me, y/n. Let me hear you,” she husked into your ear as she nibbled on your earlobe. That was all you needed for the coil to snap. Your legs and arms wrapped around her, needing her impossibly close as you came on her hand with a cry of her name. Larissa was gentle. She helped you ride out your orgasm and then very carefully pulled her fingers out. Your limbs went weak and dropped from her. You lay on the bed, breathing heavily and exhausted. You felt a shift on the bed but didn't have the strength to open your eyes. A few minutes later you felt the mattress dip again then felt a soft, damp and warm sensation between your legs. Larissa had gotten some towels to help clean you up. She used the damp one to clean between your legs and used a dry one to dab the sweat off your face. 

A soft smile spread over your lips as the blonde returned the towels, then came back and laid in bed next to you. Pulling her closer, you started to press soft sleepy kisses to her chin and neck, but she stopped you gently. You looked up at her with a pout, and she kissed your forehead gently. 

“Rest!” She whispered and pulled you close. You frowned at her. 

“But I want to make you feel good too,” you whispered back and held tightly onto her. She just shook her head, a content and also sleepy smile gracing her features. 

“You can. Tomorrow! We have all day to ourselves tomorrow,” she replied and stroked your cheek gently, looking into your eyes lovingly. You smiled and nodded, snuggling into her embrace, you let out a quiet and content sigh. This felt right. This felt like home. 

“Good Night Rissa.” 

“Good Night y/n.”

-------

I hope you liked it <3 Comments are greatly appreciated :3

[star-anise]

now, hold still—

I'd kill for some resources on body image in the context of disability, chronic pain, and having grown up with a complicated and intense medical history. I think I've exhausted my local library's offerings. Yes, I'm seeing a counsellor who focuses on this, and he's probably got recs, but I'm pacing my cage and lashing my tail in between sessions.

"Body image" has a particular connotation most of the time, because it comes out of the field that deals with eating disorders. Which is great and I'm glad for the people it works for, but its basic principles and assumptions are for completely different problems than the one I have.

I can't track down who said it first, but in my reading I keep coming across this narrative of, "I saw my body as something to be disciplined and controlled, an object only seen by external eyes. Now I've learned to take joy in what my body can do and experience, and to see it as a site of pleasure."

...Sounds fake, but okay.

My body is a site of pain. It cannot do or bear the experience of many things. I have to exercise a huge amount of discipline and control just to get out of bed every day. I can't imagine my body being a visible object that other people might find pleasing; it's incredibly hard to look up from my continual tooth-and-nail fight getting my body to let me live to imagine what someone who doesn't live with all this shit might see.

When I was a child, I learned to hold myself very still. For a hairdresser, or photographer, or a dentist, or someone who wanted to measure my height, or an injection, or a doctor who wanted a demonstration of how one of my joints looked, or an X-ray, or an IV inserted, or a CAT scan, or to have a cast taken off, or a PET scan, or to have a wound treated, or an MRI, or to have a pin pulled out.

And you know, I got proud of that. I felt like a brave warrior in a fantasy novel. I learned to take deep breaths, and take myself in my mind away from the anxiety and unpleasantness, until I could shut down my reaction to it. So that I didn't flinch or scream or cry. Because there was something wrong with my body, and doctors knew how to fix it.

When I was getting assessed for fibromyalgia, this new doctor told me he was going palpate areas in my back, arms, and knees. I get a lot of massage; I knew what was coming. I slowed my breathing, concentrating on the long outbreath. I took myself away from my reactions and thought continually, obsessively, about letting my body droop, weightless, like the moment when your aching limbs meet a solid surface and fresh cool sheets.

"Hm, I dunno," he said. "A lot of this checks out, but your trigger point exam was totally negative. Most people, when I touch those points, they have a big reaction. Some people even scream and jump off the table."

"Well, no," I think I said. "If I'd done that, it would have hurt way more, for like, hours." And I was polite about it, because you have to be polite to doctors; doctors know how to make you feel better. But what I felt at the time, and still feel today, is a kind of outrage I labelled was unreasonable the moment it was born: You wanted to hurt me, and it's my fault for not letting you?

How do you learn how to ask for things, when you've taught yourself to lie still and cry quietly because the nurse who said they'd be right back is helping someone who suddenly needs the help more? How do you express yourself, when you've spent your whole life gritting your teeth?

The problems I have about my body are not about being attractive or thin. They are, however, about being small. Learning to cry less, scream less, and ask for less. About feeling like my body is a burden to anyone who comes to know it, and like that's a burden I can't ask other people to take on unless I'm staggering under the weight of it.

Right now, what I've got is this:

Remember, you weren’t the one who made you ashamed, but you are the one who can make you proud. Just practice, practice until you get proud, and once you are proud, keep practicing so you won’t forget. You get proud by practicing.

[ka0ila]

|Pass Out

pairing - lee minho x fem!reader

summary- you pass out after over exerting yourself

warning - angst;fluff, slight-eating disorder

You were working on the same choreography for about 3 hours now. You just couldn't get it right. You were physically exhausted and decided to rest. The moment you sat down, Minho entered the practice room. "Are you able to do it? it's been three hours" You nodded while trying to catch your breath, "the start and ending yes, but i just can't exerpertise the middle part. i'm trying." you said out of breath. He nodded, he looked a bit.. disappointed? you shrugged it off. "after 5 min, i'll watch you do it." he said in a stern tone which sent shivers down your spine. You hesitantly nodded. After 5 minutes, you got up. For some reason, you felt really nervous. Ah, it's just Minho, He'll help me out. You began and You could sense him staring at You. You were a bit scared of him scolding you, you were already tired and didn't feel like getting scolded.

“do that step again” he commanded sternly.

you nodded catching your breath. honestly, you were really embarrassed, it was Minho after all he wouldn’t judge you but.. He was just so perfect. you couldn’t seem to get that one specific step right, you were frustrated, so was he.

“why can’t you just do it right (y/n)” he said a little annoyed. Now, you were really frustrated because you just couldn’t seem to get it right and didn’t need anyone to tell you that aswell,

“im fucking trying Minho” you snapped. “Are you? if you did you would’ve got it right” and that made you teary. you were really trying. He just scoffed. You were about to leave the room but you suddenly started loosing conscious, everything started blacking out, you couldn’t see anything. oh, fuck.

baby?

I woke up in the hospital. I felt someone sleeping on my hand, it was Minho. Oh, i passed out. He started to wake up, for some reason, i just closed my eyes. i was embarrassed to be weak and pass out after not working hard enough and not being able to learn a fucking dance step. he looked at my face and huffed, and started caressing my forehead, i melted.

it was so comforting i felt like crying,

it made me feel safe, really safe.

he then kissed my forehead whispering a sorry, but it wasn’t his fault?

i heard him leave the room and Hyunjin walked in.

He sat beside me looking at me with sad eyes, am i alright? i only passed out right?

did they find out something?

i squirmed a little and began to open my eyes,

“(y/n)?” hyunjin called out my name as he hugged me. i gave him a soft smile as i saw him loosen up and relax a little. Minho walked in.

“i’m sorry Minho, i passed out and i couldn’t even lea-” he cut me off by hugging me tightly and attached his lips to mine.

“i was so.. so fucking worried about you”

“i only passed out what happened?” i asked them confused. they sighed looking at each other.

“have you been skipping meals?”

“i-” i failed to respond and tears started rolling down my face. i didn’t want things to be like this, i didnt want them to know, its only a phase i wouldve gotten over it.

“no” i lied. “youre in no position to lie to us” Seungmin scoled me. “i’m sorry” and for some reason i started sobbing. they all comforted me, i felt bad, everyone was tired but i gave them one more reason to be tired of.

“you know i love you right?”

“im sorry i shouldn’t have pushed you so much” minho apologised nuzzling into my neck cuddling me.

“it’s not your fault don’t blame yourself for it, i shouldve taken better care of myself, please dont ever stop yourself from pushing me forward or scolding me” i assured him.

“are you sure?”

“very.”

“i love you.”

“i love you more than you could ever imagine.”

━━━━━━ ◦ ✤ ◦ ━━━━━━

━━━━━━ ◦ ✤ ◦ ━━━━━━

im sorry this one’s kinda short :>

tell me if you like it!

i like writing angst so you’ll be getting alot more angst hehe, my exams are in 2 days im really stressed i don’t have it all covered, but anyways.

Stream S-Class!!!

[chiiyuuvv]

970 • TAGLIST — @eun-luv , @soul-is-a-strange-kid , @yuniniverse

Based on a true story!! But erm.. i met a cute girl that was younger than me, no love interest involved irl haha

Thinking about..

Annual bring your child to work day, the countless parents in your mothers job forcing their kids to come with them for the day, accompanied they didnt have any exams

Although you weren't exactly thrilled, you tried to have a positive attitude, greeting each of your mothers co-workers with a smile although youve never seen them before

Your mother makes you sit next to her near her desk, and you can feel your positivity shrink by the minute, sinking into your chair with your arms crossed, boredom invading your being

She notices and decides to send you off with the other kids in a vacant meeting room, ushering to take your bags and meet some new, potential friends

And your positivity comes back! Marching to the little meeting room on the other side of the elevator with such pride, stopping at the vending machine to get a little snack to share with your buddy

You open the door, expecting a little huddle of teenagers when youre only met with one, sitting in the back corner with his chin prompted up by his hand

He seemed bored before, but when the door opens his head slowly turns, his eyes widening and sparkling and a wide grin stretched onto his face

Youre still standing in the doorway so you awkwardly step in the small room, closing the door timidly

Although you felt like energy could burst through your heart, you felt nervous, giving the boy a small smile as he sends back his signature eye smile, inching towards your flushed figure to stick out his hand

He introduces himself. His name was shotaro, hes pretty sure your parents know each other and might even be friends, and hes super excided to meet you.

An unfamiliar feeling pings your heart as you find him enduring; the way he never breaks eye contact, the smile thats covering his face, one of his hands twiddling the bottom of his shirt while the other one rubs your soft skin. You wanted to put him in your pocket and run away

After introducing yourself, you feel a faint mutter on how pretty you were, your ears stinging red as you try to bite back your smile

After getting lost in each others eyes, he gives a shy smile, scratching the back of his neck before sitting you down at the meeting table, joking on how this was an interview for a new job, and you had to tell him 10 things about yourself

Despite feeling a little childish, you love his sense of humor and how he thinks, talking about some of your interests, like dogs, for example

He almosts falls back into his chair when he hears that, his mouth moving faster than his brain as he rambles about how much he loves dogs, joking on how he is one himself

He jokes around some more, talking about how you've been accepted to the job, the only thing you need to do is give him your number and you'll be starting tomorrow

Wait what?

His eyes widen at what he just said, multiple apologizes leaving his mouth and how you didnt have to give it to him, but its too late, you already took your phone out of your back pocket. How could you turn down the cute boy?

Now its his turn to be flushed, holding back his smile and suddenly getting quieter, just hoping you didnt hear his loud heartbeat, or didnt notice the blood rushing up to the tips of his ears and some painted his cheeks

The door opens again revealing one of the workers, asking the two of you to set up the table so everyone can come to eat some pizza before continuing with their work

And boy did shotaro take that seriously, shooing your hands away since the fork wasnt on the right side, or how the chair wasnt pushed in all the way

But its all lighthearted, small 'yah's leaving his lips because you were messing up the plates on purpose

He almost chases you with a plastic spoon

After setting up the plates and joking on how this was a tea party, you sit back in your seats, learning more and more about yourselves as the tired employees make their way into the small room

The pizzas here and you all make your plates, deciding to sit next to each other as you eat

But as your eating, you could feel shotaros eyes on you, so you turn your head, shotaros quickly whipping to the other side of the room as he takes a bite out of his salad, his red ears giving him away

And you feel your heart flutter, a shy giggle leaving your lips at how cute he was

The rest of the meal finishes smoothly, tossing your plates in the trash while finishing your previous conversation, when your mother announces that youre leaving early

You watch as shotaros smile drop, giving him a guilty glance as you drink the rest of your soda

You can tell hes disappointed youre leaving, but tries to shake it off, opening his arms to welcome you in a hug goodbye

Wait what?

Before he can retreat, youre running to his figure, your arms around his neck and his circling your waist, rocking you back and forth as you stay in his warm embrace

Your head lifts up from his chest only to be inches away from his face, his staggered breath fanning your lips as you stare for a while, lost in each others eyes again

Your mother snaps you out of your trance, shotaro quickly letting go of you as he gives you a wave, his face redder than a tomato with a growing smile

Your mother teases you on the way back home ♡

[goldensunset]

hi so i’ve already said a thousand times how sora failing the mark of mastery exam (when he did everything he reasonably could’ve; it was rigged against him bc of unfair interference) and being belittled for not being strong enough (without receiving much in the way of actual constructive advice, just getting laughed at) is sooooooo adhd

but also think about how sora actually was considered strong enough once upon a time. it’s not like his entire life has been marked by failure or and yen sid is just dunking on him for that. sora was a special amazing kid, chosen by the one and only keyblade. sure he knows he wasn’t its first choice and he struggles to embrace his role as a hero at first but once he does he shines. there’s nothing sora can’t do! sounds like a textbook undiagnosed adhd gifted kid, right? growing up being told you were just so special and cool

but then you get older and you fall off the curve. your brain differences stop working for you and start working against you. now suddenly you’re no better than anyone else around you. maybe you’re actually worse than the others because now you’re at the point where you have to try but you never learned how to try because success used to come naturally

think about how ‘the keyblade’ isn’t a thing anymore- it’s just ‘a keyblade.’ sora is now surrounded by lots of other wielders in his life, who just come in one after another. by kh3 it’s clear that having a keyblade, while still relatively rare in this modern world, maybe isn’t quite that special after all

there’s that awkward feeling of ‘hey am i really all that important in the world after all/maybe they’d be better suited for this than me’ but now there’s also the ‘how come i’m not even as good as i used to be’/what went wrong with me’. that’s a pretty awful double whammy of a self esteem blow. like idk imagine if you were that super smart neurodivergent kid and then when you grow up you find yourself placed in a group with a bunch of super smart neurotypical adults and you’ve evenly matched in achievements. except at this point they’re getting better and you’re getting worse

oh also the way that even though he’s getting dunked on he’s still being trusted with huge responsibilities anyway. imagine being told you suck at everything and your failures are your fault but then being told you still have to go on a mission to try and get stronger. i think tanking someone’s self esteem like that is probably going to make it hard for them to get better. it’s just a vicious circle. like sora is made fun of but then it’s brushed aside as hey we’re just joking around buddy we’re your friends! we still need you! even though you kinda suck! do this for us! we love you! like ouch. and sora is just :-) :’-) :-) ok! the whole time

tldr idk

[shiesan]

Shu Yamino HCs + more

I think it’s gender neutral? hehehehehehe i dont proof read pardun my ass.

Classmate edition!

- Class presiden’t. He has the vibes of a class president but isn’t the actual president. I fee like Shu would decline even if the whole class wanted him as president.

-Teachers’ fave. I can imagine Shu just minding his own business, reading away, and then suddenly the teacher calls him to answer the question a classmate failed to answer. He’s not arrogant about it though, sometimes he even gets them wrong but he apologizes immediately and states that he has much to learn. The exact reason why the profs love him lots.

-Shu is one of the best seatmates! Don’t have your book? Scoot a little closer and he’ll share with you. Need some trouble with a math problem? He’s there to help. Need a cough drop, pen, paper, paracetamol, and a whole house? he has it in his bag. Everyone at the start of the school year prays that they’ll be seated next to Shu. Did I mention he smells great?

-Lunches with him. He usually packs his lunch and eats with you. On most days you guys sit somewhere a bit more breezy and quite since you guys like to have silent time and a break from your rowdy classmates. 

“Y/N, why don’t we eat near that tree today! Its not too hot outside today so I think it’ll be pleasant.”

Sure enough it was. You guys always enjoy your lunch break with each other, sometimes even bringing the other person a little dessert or snack. So cute!

- Going Home. Shu is really the sweetest. When you guys are going home he ALWAYS follows the sidewalk rule! He tries not to be to obvious about it and hopes you don’t point out anything (babu is shy). Although he can’t go home with you all the time he makes sure you’re home safe, you are a good friend of his after all . He knows some of his friends take the same route as you so he asks them if they don’t mind looking after you as well (ofc without you knowing hehe). Tells you to immediately text him when you get home and reminds you to rest first before taking a bath.

-Summer Break. Messages you and asks if you want to hang out. Honestly he just misses you since he hasn’t seen you in two weeks.

Y/n, are you busy today?

Not really. Why?

Was wondering if you wanted to hang-out? I don’t really have anything in mind though hahaha.

You picked the arcade. It’s so much fun!! You remember that after every exam you guys would go to the arcade to celebrate and memories of Shu’s radiant smile immediately warms your heart. What is this. You’ve had a crush on Shu since forever! Ignoring it was so easy back then but not anymore. Especially when everyone around you thinks that there’s something between you guys. Honestly, you wish there was. You always thought “Oh, Shu’s future partner will be so lucky,” silently hoping that it was you. 

Discarding your romantic feelings toward the man was hard, you kept asking the universe to stop giving their least experienced player the hardest quests but alas! Here you are. Infront of the arcade you and Shu frequent. Silently hoping he doesn’t show up so your heart doesn’t go crazy and you live another day. But it’s Shu we’re talking about, the oh-so lovable Shu. 

The Shu that takes your breath away.

The Shu that always makes sure that you’re okay.

The Shu that will always help you with your homework.

The Shu that will always reach out to you first when it comes to group projects.

The Shu whose whole family loves you so much so that sometimes they tell Shu to bring another bento for you.

The Shu you spend all night playing online games with.

The Shu you want to be yours.

Maybe he’ll be your Shu one day.

Your thoughts get interrupted by the sorcerer himself, Shu Yamino.

“Y/N! I bought you a _____ shake on the way here. It’s a bit melted because of the heat, hope you don’t mind.” You shake your head, smile, and take the shake he was offering you. You hugged him as a sign of gratitude and just because you missed him, even if he drove you crazy.

Shu froze for a bit. It was quite strange, the feeling that Shu felt. It was like any normal hug though, you guys hugged plenty of times! Why now does he feel like he doesn’t want to let you go.

The hug that felt like minutes came to an end as you pulled away from him and dragged him into the arcade. With a bag of tokens in each of your hands you guys spend hours and hours inside the arcade. Hours spent having so much fun with the person you love, hours creating memories to cherish forever.

You wanted to switch thing up. Although anywhere with him feels like the best place on earth, you wanted to create a new core memory with him. 

“Shu, wanna go watch the sunset?”

Boing boing boing. A basketball falls to the floor, a ball that Shu was supposed to shoot but due to shock he just froze. Realizing what the did, he picks up the ball and returns in to the machine, dusting off his hands afterwards.

“Sure!” He smiles. That sounds sweet, said his inner thoughts. Shu returned the favor, this time he was the one who took you by the hand and dragged you outside to watch the sunset. 

The mall you guys frequent is actually close to the sea. The back of the mall overlooks the vast ocean and the sun happened to be setting in that direction. Hurried steps came from the both of you as you rush outside to make sure that you would see the sunset. It confused you though. The fact that Shu, instead of letting your hand go once you got out of the arcade had intertwined them instead. You weren’t complaining. Not at all. But this gave you the idea that maybe the feelings you thought were once one sided weren’t as one sided as you thought. 

“Ey, we’re here!” Shu says as you guys get close to a railing which gave you the perfect view of the sunset.

“Yeah,” you slowly say as you catch your breath. “We made it just in time.”

The sun slowly began to leave your sight, it looked like it was lowering itself into the ocean, leaving shades of red and orange behind. 

How pretty. Both of you thought. Your eyes remain on the setting sun and Shu’s sight remains on you.

He readjusts his grip on your hand, reminding you that he was still holding it. 

You took your eyes off of the sunset and looked him in the eyes. He looked so happy. So at peace with himself.

“Shu, your hand.” he maintains eye contact with you and just says “hmm?” 

“Your hand.” You say again, this time lifting your intertwined hands. 

He just smiles and holds your hand tighter. Suddenly it felt warmer. And suddenly you found yourself in Shu’s embrace.

______________________________________________

OKAY I LIED IT WASNT ONLY HCS

Anyways, hope you guys enjoy my ass writing. Till next time

-shie-san

[alumort]

Ao3

Neji autism. Thats it thats the fic. Enjoy :3

It was late, but he didn't want to go home yet– Hiashi would be annoying as usual, and he would force him to speak even if Neji didn't want to.

He just didn't feel like it. Training had exhausted him to no end, more after having just returned from one of his Jounin missions; the brunet was used to the lengths of Gai's workout routines, yet it was tiring nonetheless. A headache bothered him now, and Neji decided to lay down underneath a tree, using its shade to escape from the sunlight.

Most of his teammates had already left, not wanting to pester him too much, though one of them stayed behind– knowing well he wouldn't push him away anymore, Lee had decided to stay by his side, sharing water and some snacks with the other boy. They had become close after Naruto punched some sense on him in the Chunin Exams, and Neji wasn't against it; in fact, he really enjoyed his rival's presence now, even though he would never say it out loud.

Because if he didn't like him at all, he would just ignore him as usual. Neji didn't feel the need to say anything about the fondness that had grown between them through the years; it was pretty obvious, in his eyes. Lee seemed to understand it well, and his whole team respected it, even if they were a bit loud and obnoxious from time to time.

Not like he didn't tag along whatever Lee and Gai did, under certain circumstances and ignoring Tenten's complaints. It was fun to not worry about being perfect sometimes…

It made him feel appreciated. Unlike how he felt in the Hyuga compound most of the time, when his uncle was near and his cousins were gone. His team knew exactly how to make him feel welcome, never forcing him to do anything he didn't want to, like talking. They cared enough to learn what he tolerated and not, never getting mad for his unusual reactions, or not touching him without asking unless it was strictly necessary.

The same couldn't be said about his uncle, who didn't care at all about his comfort. Hiashi would probably force him to speak the moment he realized the boy didn't feel like talking, solely to annoy him.

So Neji stayed on the training grounds, grabbing some blades of grass just to pick them apart in silence, not minding that his teammate began humming in a soft tone. Lee tended to do that when he was content, so he didn't want to interrupt.

His companion had a good voice, anyway. It soothed him somehow, and that was yet another reason to not make him stop– though, the brunet was unable to say it out loud at the time. And he struggled with giving compliments when he felt talkative, too.

Suddenly, Lee yawned and his little song stopped; a quick look at him told Neji that his rival was tired as well, almost falling asleep on the grass with half-closed eyes. He worked harder than anyone else, and it did make him become exhausted at the end of the day… even if the taijutsu master would do exactly the same in the morning, train and train until his energy was lower than the ground.

“Um, Neji… can– is it alright if I hug you? The earth is too hard…” Lee asked in a whisper, barely able to look at the other boy, always making sure to not stare into his eyes for too long.

Neji dropped the grass he was picking just to turn around and get closer to his rival, saying nothing as he extended his arms towards him– Lee didn't need words to understand that was a ‘yes’, and he slowly leaned towards the embrace, also wrapping his friend with his arms with overflowing joy.

It didn't take long for him to close his eyes, not bothered by anything else in the world, letting out a sleepy smile in the meanwhile; Neji felt some kind of warmth in his heart just by seeing him like that, relaxed and content in his arms…

A hesitating hand gently began to play with Lee's hair, caressing him in silence and not trying to startle him at all– the boy hummed once more, and his body relaxed at last. He was a really affectionate person, and enjoyed it when someone did nice gestures like that, so Neji kind of knew he would like it.

He wasn't sure, but his friend didn't push him away at least, pretty much falling asleep on him. It was cute…

“I like being like this, with you. You make me happy,” Lee mumbled at one point, lazily opening an eye as he spoke though he closed it again in no time. And then, in an almost inaudible babbling, he continued. “I love you…”

Neji wasn't sure if he had heard right, but he didn't want to wake up his companion, who had ended up asleep in his arms in no time– Lee was even snoring and drooling by how relaxed he felt then. His cheeks were burning now, and his lips trembled, but he would not wake him up for anything in the world.

He looked so calm, so… cute. Neji didn't want to bother him, even if he knew his rival would be cheerful and maybe even challenge him to something after his short nap, resting well in mere minutes. The brunet held him close, still caressing his hair to distract himself more than anything, admiring how the sky began to turn red with the passing of time. Not wanting to let go of the other boy just yet.

He struggled to voice his thoughts sometimes, more when it was about what was held by his heart, yet he didn't need to say anything to Lee for him to know just exactly what he felt. Even after being a bit groggy when waking up on his own, his companion didn't need any explanation for his gestures, for their closeness– in the past, it would've been impossible, but now…

“Ah– sorry, I drooled on you… I am sure you left spare clothes at home, when you and Tenten stayed some weeks ago. Do you want to stay with me tonight?” Lee whispered, rubbing his eyes as he got up, immediately helping the other boy also get up after him. “I am sure Kakashi and Gai will be happy to have you around, too.”

Neji didn't let go of his hand afterwards, nodding in silence and just following the other boy towards his home without worrying about anything else– they ended up cuddling once more after dinner, knowing well the older ninja wouldn't say anything about it to Hiashi or anyone at all.

It made his heart feel warm, and Lee once more pretty much confessed to him before falling asleep on his arms… again. He was adorable.

Neji felt the same, to say the least. Though the brunet couldn't say it out loud, even when he felt like talking– his rival didn't need it to just know it well. And perhaps, that was what made him happier than anything else in the world; having someone who understood him well.

[fruttymoment]

if twitter truly getting shutdown then all of my hard work is gone? just like that? why would i make something if it can just be gone forever like that? why would i learn something if i forgot about it later? why would i even do anything at all?

I do not believe Twitter is shutting down. In fact, it was the OFFICE that has been shut down, not the app&servers etc. It will be open again in some time i believe. Despite everything, Twitter is literally one of the biggest and main social media app like ever. It cant really just collapse. Worst that can happen is Twitter being sold again to someone lol

"Imagine the internet dying forever suddenly. With no internet, are you still valuable and important? If you are nobody without the internet, you need to change some things in your life." Is one of my favorite sentences ever. Life must be beyond the internet. So please, dont put your everything to the internet/social media. You shall do your true works in real life. I know its easy to say, but it really is possible. Internet is for our entertainment and information, not a life style.

Why would you do anything at all? Well, we all are born to die. In my opinion, this is the meaning of "life"

Why all important people in the history discovered amazing things, worked hard and all? They also knew they were going to die one day, so why?

Because life means "living the moment". Who cares the end? Literally do whatever you want. You dont need to be an important person, do very special things etc. Life means living today. If you are alive, do something you want today. You dont need your name written by gold letters in history, humanity also will go extinct one day.

What matters, is today. Right now. Are you not happy today? Make yourself happy. You are a very complex, precious biological being with emotions and you deserve to be happy. Everyone does. If you cant make yourself happy, then maybe the definition of being happy is wrong to you.

Happyness does not mean finally achieving your dream. Because when you finally achieve it, there will be no more dreams. Its like wanting to buy something so bad, and when you finally buy it, you realize it wasnt that necessary afterwards. I myself experienced that soo many times.

I myself always aim for the impossible dreams. Why? So i can have fun chasing it forever. Sometimes, adventure is more important than your destination.

But hey! Even living aimlessly is fun. You dont need to have a wacky dream or something to be happy. Nothing wrong with endlessly exploring, learning stuff and living the moments with no purpose in the end.

Sure, you do need to have a job and money to live in the end. But no need to stress yourself for that. You will do it. Stay happy and determined, and you literally can do anything. Motivation is one of our strongest feelings.

And go ahead. Fail things to learn from your mistakes. True success doesnt mean perfection. A successfull person is not someone that is perfect. Its someone that failed at things so hard in the past, but never gave up in the end.

If you are reading this, then you are alive. And you should be proud. Being alive is much harder than it seems, actually.

You already survived from many things. And today, you are successfully alive. So, why give up now?

Make your today different, and have fun with it! Learn from your past, and dont think too hard for tomorrow. We humans literally made the term "time" anyways. Other creatures doesnt even think about it, cuz time doesnt actually exists. It only exists in our mind. Past, future, blehh. Just live your today.

As for writing this, i am getting ready to go outside.

The weather is nice. Exams are over for me. I slept like a baby last night.

Today is very great :>

[wind-becomes-lightning]

Hello! Congratulations on your followers! 🎊

I would love to request this prompt for SakuLee

“It’s hard to get used to...” “what is?” “Being someone that someone cares for...”

I hope you have fun!! 😊💕

Final stretch for this event. It is your turn, hello! Sorry for the wait. I always struggle with new couplings, so I hope this is sort of what you wanted.

Haruno Sakura x Rock Lee

Rated G, its mostly fluff.

2114 words.

Ao3 Link [x]

Sakura is not happy that Lee often overworks his body during training.

He threw his head back as sweat pearls ran down both sides of his face and turned on his heel to dodge the incoming punch. Even with weights on both legs and arms Lee was still very agile and fast, a skill he had trained hard to achieve over his childhood years and then honed even more following his injury in the Chuunin exams. Now, with the weights off, nobody could keep up with him and he was proud of that. If a mission required speed he was the one that was addressed first.

When it came to raw strength however, Lady Tsunade and in accordance with that Sakura were out matching him at a tenfold. Both women had built muscle mass over the years that Lee had never built like that (his natural build was just different and kept him lean even when he was strong) and so they were unmatched in a one on one fight. Especially since they could mould chakra well for their work as healers and concentrate them to their fists, which led to the overwhelming power of their punches. Defeating them would mean having to be agile like he was because taking one of these punches could knock you clean out.

That was why Lee liked working with Sakura and he supposed Sakura liked training with him too for a similar reason. Lee learned how to take harder punches or avoid the deadly ones and Sakura learned accuracy against an opponent that was fast and agile. Yes, Lee would probably win against her with weights off, but this wasn’t a real one on one fight, this was just training.

He jumped backwards and pushed himself up on his hands to escape the avalanche of stones that had appeared out of the earth. Sakura had punched down and ripped it clean open, but Lee was faster than that and so the only thing that was affected a little was his leg. He felt the cut before he saw the blood. Ouch, but nothing to be done about it.

“I’m sorry, Lee,” Sakura said and stopped for a moment, but Lee shook his head so that his hair was flying. “I can continue,” he offered her a thumbs up that had her smiling.

The only reason he had been hit, Lee concluded, was that his left arm still wasn’t as strong as it could be. The injury on both of his arms had largely healed and he was stronger now than he had ever been, but sometimes, after a long training session or mission, the left one got a little shaky. As if the nerves suddenly couldn’t handle the strain at all and needed a break. “That will never change, Lee,” Tsunade had said. “You are lucky you can still work as a shinobi, so it’s better to just accept that.”

Sakura knew too, of course. THere were days when he came home from missions and his arm was shaking so nervously that he couldn’t undress himself. In those times she would give him soothing ointments or calm the strain with a healing jutsu or other so that he could recover. She probably had noticed his shaking and was worried now, but Lee wasn’t ready yet to give up this training session. Not when he was so close to figuring out this new move he was trying to pull off.

Lee pushed himself forward and then jumped right over Sakura’s head. She just stared at him with attentive eyes knowing full well that she wouldn’T be able to follow him to these heights. Still, she pushed her fist into the earth and shot another stone upwards. He had assumed she would do that and couldn’t help but grin. He spun around just enough so that his right hand could directly go through the stone as if it was nothing more than butter to slice through. The two halves fell apart and Sakura needed to dodge not to be hit by them.

If he would improve this specific technique he would be able to cut through everything Gai-sensei had said. Be it earth or steel or wood. He was excited about that. It made him feel like a superhero from the manga he had read as a child.

Still, Sakura knew him well too, so once he was on his feet again she started her counter offensive, her right fist ready to go for him. “Got you,” she said once she was close enough to him and swung her arm, which gave him no option but to jump on his left arm to dodge. 

Crash.

HIs left arm hadn’t been able to hold his weight any longer and he toppled over and crashed face first into the ground. For a moment Lee lost sight of whatever was happening in front of him, too much dust in the air and everything in front of his eyes spinning too. HIs nose hurt and his left arm was also shaking painfully.

“Lee, Lee, hello, Lee, are you awake?” He heard Sakura’s voice through such a filter that it seemed as if she was miles away.

Then there was a sudden warmth on his arm spreading first from soft fingertips through his insides to his head. Sakura was healing him, he realised, just like she was always soothing his nerves when he was straining himself too much. Slowly his mind stopped spinning and he could push his eyes open again. 

He was lying on his belly on the ground, both arms pushed away to the side. He turned his head and found Sakura hunched over him, the green light of chakra healing almost obscuring her face but he could still see that she was biting her lips like she always did when she was a little frustrated with something.

“Sakura…” he said weakly but she threw him a look that told him to be quiet for now. He felt a little ashamed that he was causing her such trouble, especially after she had extra checked in with him to give him an option to end their training session and he had declined it.

Soon the shaking stopped and Lee could feel strength returning to his arm. Sakura stopped with the chakra infusion, but she kept her hand on his arm and stroked over the bandages like she sometimes stroked over the scars beneath it. Lee tried to push himself up on his right arm so he could sit up, but Sakura was faster than him.

“Let me help you”, she said and crouched over so he could throw his arm around her shoulders. This was also something he had needed to learn. The younger version of himself had always promised himself that he would be the one that would take care of Sakura and protect her, but Sakura was really capable too of not only protecting herself, but also helping him in return.

She pulled him up and set his back up against a tree so she could examine him again. “Why didn’t you say you are bleeding!” she said in alarm and softly touched along Lee’s nose which seemed to be broken. “Really Lee, you have to be more careful during training. All your practice has no use if you end up injuring yourself so much that you can't fight anymore.”

While she was slowly touching over his face, infusing chakra where he had small injuries, his eyes were focused on hers the entire time. Sakura had always been very beautiful to him, but when she was concentrated and working she was the most beautiful. Especially when she was taking care of him. He smiled.

“Tsunade-sama has told you that your left arm is weaker than your right one,” Sakura said in her stricter teacher voice. “And that you should not strain it too much, especially when the nerves are giving in. We don’t know if they could sever again if you aren’t careful. So please, Lee, promise me you won’t ever do it again. Especially not in training.” She furrowed her brow. “And don’t lie to me again when I ask you if you are alright.”

Lee laughed. He couldn’T help it. Her behaviour was cute when she was worrying over him like this. Of course she was right and he was putting himself in danger, but if that meant that she was going to take care of him like this…? Maybe love did make you a little selfish.

“Lee, promise me!” She repeated.

He looked up and smiled at her. “You know, this is all still kind of hard to get used to…”

She put her head to the side like children did if they didn’t understand something: “What is?”

“Being someone that somebody would care for like this,” he replied with a quiet smile. “Someone somebody else would worry about.”

A moment passed in which Sakura said nothing and Lee just kept his eyes on his hands, then, suddenly, she pulled him into a hug. “Idiot,” she said and sounded a little like she was crying. “Of course I worry about you.”

He wrapped his hands around her and just held her like this, his nose half buried in her hair. There had been a time when Lee had thought that Sakura was just naturally warm. That her skin and her body emanate warmth like a little heater, to keep him warmed up no matter the situation or weather. But then he had once talked to Ino about it, who had shared my sleepovers with Sakura when they were younger, and realised that no, Sakura wasn’t warmer than any other person. She was just warm to him. It had nothing to do with unique circulation or such, it was all connected to how he felt when she was holding him close.

“I’ve seen you injured, you know,” Sakura pulled away a little, just far enough so she could look straight into his face. “It was horrible and I don’t want to ever have to see it again.”

Lee smiled and tried to look as apologetic as he possibly could: “I’m sorry.” 

“You better be,” she pouted a little. “You gave me a heart attack when I saw you fall apart like that. I thought I might have hurt you by accident! I like training with you, because you look especially cute when you are focusing on your abilities… but not if that means you end up injured like this!” She knocked her forehead into his. “I know I’m repeating myself, but I want you to carve it into your mind. I care about you, a lot. So please promise me to stop overdoing it.”

Sakura called him cute all the time, after all that was sort of how they had started dating in the first place. She had of course known about his feelings ever since they were children, but she had only gradually started liking him back. One day she told him that she realised that she thought he was actually really cute (and she added: in the handsome sort of way) and the rest went from there. Still, it didn’t ever lose its effect. Nothing could make him blush quite as easily.

He learned forward and pressed a light kiss to her cheek. “I promise,” he replied and squeezed her arm just enough to show that he meant it.

Wonderfully, the kiss made Sakura blush a little too. She found herself quickly again though: “Also, don’t tell me Tenten doesn’t also care for you! And Gai-sensei! They both worry about you and care for you very much! Don’t you disregard them with such nonsense talk.” She shook him a little.

“Right, right, yes, of course, I would never claim such a thing,” Lee waved his arms defensively. “But with you it is different. It makes me happy that it is you that takes care of me. If it is you, it makes me so happy that I can’t describe it. Everything about you makes me so very happy.”

Her blush deepened and for a moment her eyes went wide and he knew her well enough to know he had touched her with what he had said. “Ah, Lee, don’t say such things,” she replied, averting her eyes from his. “It’s too much.”

Lee pulled her into his arms again and tangled her fingers into his hair. He could have continued for several hours about all the things he liked about her and the things she did that made him happy and even more about the things she had done for him that he was thankful for, but for now he felt like just holding her like this said enough.

[smoosnoom]

they say “home is there the heart is” and mine is on ur ao3 acc. and ur ko-fi 😙

“He hates the idea of falling into the same trap as his parents” as a person with a full time job… yeah. i need to become rich as quickly as possible 🫡 can’t believe i have to work for the rest of my life

“and sometimes forgets his lefts and rights” its actually the sign of dyslexia..

“He’s always been theatrical” yesss, mike is a theatre kid agenda!!

“Well, maybe another look, too, just to commit it to memory, but then he looks away, for real this time” omg 😭😭😭😭 how down bad he is 😭

“He hopes he isn’t blushing” i bet he was as pink as that duster

“Granted, he always looks nice, and Mike is unbiased in this fact” i have no doubt that will always looks nice but mike is definitely Biased

“like he gets when Mike compliments him, and something in him wants to shake Will by the shoulders and ask When will you believe me?” moon. WHEN WILL U BELIEVE ME????

“Mike is above jealousy” sure. he just don’t like when people flirt with will. or touch will. or talk with will. it’s definitely not jealousy, he’s just really protective friend.

“Maybe it’s because Will is pretty and Mike is a hopeless idiot.” maybe it’s all above

“The goldfish stares back” it’s judging his hesitancy. and will’s too 🫡

“when he slouches to meet him eye to eye” well, maybe My bad posture is the consequence of my friendship with short people

“Will looks, just a little, concerned, and his eyebrows are still furrowed” will must be so confused all the time lmfao. just imagine: love of ur life suddenly started being very physically affectionate and he stares deep into ur eyes and says the most romantic things and when acts like nothing happened

“there’s a glow-in-the-dark velociraptor inside!” I’D BUY ANYTHING FOR VELOCIRAPTOR 📢📢📢📢

“because just before his exams, he had cracked and broken down, locking himself in his room and far, far away from a degree he had never even wanted” this is actually me and my natural science degree. i had a break down right before exams cause i hated almost every my class

“It means you’re nice to look at. Artists would love you” maybe just one particular artist? 🧐

did this treatment help? i know one person who needs this

“and laughs when Mike tackles him into the couch as revenge” all of this and they didn’t kiss yet???? please they’re useless

“the sky is pouring rain” AND ITS RAINING IN A BYLER FIC 🥳🥳🥳

“Mike brings a hand to Will’s cheek and swipes the rainwater away, cold to the touch” i let u now that i went back to this whole hallway scene countless times. like. i read the whole fic and reread it. and than reread it the next day. and a couple of other times. it’s just so them 🥺

““Is this,” Mike whispers, “okay?”” the sexiest non-sexual interaction

“Mike mouths at his neck, and Will lets out a shudder” sorry it’ll be bad joke: if they wanted to cancel u for smth it should have been this. cause it’s so hot (pls god give us more byler neck kisses 🙏🏻)

“But I’d never get sick of you” YES my king of the cringe pick up lines is here 😭

“July 18, 1992” seventh scene. i counted!!

“I’m not rewatching Sixteen Candles again, Mike” i get that will is a snob BUT he should give romantic comedies a try!! it’s the best movie genre Ever

one of my faves </3 i’ll never get over their domestic cuteness and cowardness.

im kissing u and biting u and kissing u again on the place that i bite

moon i love u so much 🤍🤍

oh god every time ithink about the future and the endless loop im going to inevitably fall into .. i want to jump off a cliff 😭😭 but its ok . as long as u learn to love it !

is it ?? oh my god every time i drive i have to quickly think a little too long about it .

he is so dramatic !!!! his dming in season one ?? the way he fell to the ground and acted it all out ??? get him on broadway !!!!!!

he is Gay and Whipped 😕

he really and truly was . as a poc who does not have the ability to blush . i think its both funny and endearing how people who blush turn so red . like a strawberry 🍓

listen . that is Different ok art is Subjective and i think ive gotten like . four hate comments permanently imprinted into my brain ,

absolutely 😃 he is just so protective and caring . he definitely does Not resist the urge to set fire to the human race every time someone hits on will . that would be crazy Hahah .

so true . if i was that goldfish i would retire and jump off from the soap container

u know what im going to use that excuse too ! i slouch so much i look like a shrimp and im going to singlehandedly blame it on my friends being simply so short

poor will 😭😭 if i had to deal with that constant whiplash i would die i think . but then again i never pick up on flirting LOL so i wouldnt even notice 😭 nevermind

ME TOO 📢📢📢📢 I LOVE DINOSAURS 📢📢📢📢📢📢📢📢📢📢📢📢

oh no ☹️ i am glad u are doing better with ur current graduated self !!! i know that was probably . not a fun time 😭 but things are better ?

wow i wonder who that person could possibly be 😃

if byler is one thing its a duo of useless homosexuals . im blaming it on their trauma

rain in a byler fic is a full moon in teen wolf . u know whats coming

oh god the door scene 😭😭 im glad u enjoyed it because i refuse to even look or thinjk about that entire section 😭 its so horrifyingly embarrassing oh my god im embarrassed everytime im remindedof it 😭😭😭😭😭

HELP 😭 ITS TRUE ... oh my god . im so mortified rn

i love love loveeee using bad pick up lines on people . and getting bad pick up lines used on me . theyre so charmingly terrible

yes !!!!!! seven !!!!!! thats their number !!!!!!!! im so happy u noticed :D i never write scenes after a kiss but i Needed to complete the seven scene number 😭

oh god hes just like me fr because i never watch romantic comedies 😭

alya vampire arc 🤨🤨 feel free to chop me up . i am open for consuming . in a Not Weird Way

love u alya ! im so happy u enjoyed it and revisted it so much that means Everything to me . ily !!!!! 🫶🫶

[inkofamethyst]

November 11, 2022

I actually did the worst on my open book popgen exam lol (not that it mattered anyway).  I’m in a good place grade-wise, I think.

You know, all of these programs conveniently leave out the fact that not only do you have to submit a personal statement, but you have to also write four, five, six other little essays on random (they’re related) topics.  Like,,, HUH.  I just thought I’d pop in with a quick “boy howdy I wanna be a scientist, a woman in stem, a personified bunsen burner” and then be met with a round of applause and a stipend but apparently that’s not enough these days.

Also some of my apps are asking about my sexuality and that was definitely not a thing four years ago and like idk I know some ace folk feel like they fit in the queer community and that’s totally fine and I love my little hahaheehee’s on acetok but putting it in writing (yes, I recognize the irony considering the nature of this blog)???  FIRST of all I don’t know if this is real or if it’s purity culture-induced guilt.  I could get married and it all falls away and suddenly you’ve got a sexual being on your hands (one in need of therapy tho bc I’ve heard it’s a difficult switch to make).  SECOND what if it changes.  I dunno I just.. there is no truly permanent sense of self and.. ugh.  I mean I could say I’m aro/ace and they’ll be like “wow so she won’t be distracted by boys she’s a safe bet” but what they don’t know is that I’ll be distracted by everything else.

On a lighter note, listen.  I get it, LMM maybe wasn’t at all what we were expecting from Hermes.  I love the jokes, I think they’re silly because, ultimately, that man is a dork.  A theatre kid (who makes pretty bangin music ngl).  All adult theatre kids deserve ridicule.  No exceptions.  Obviously I want him to do well because I want the show to be good and I trust Rick.  I love the silly jokes, but I feel a little bad bc we’re circling back to that time on tiktok when Hamilton had just been released on D+ and everyone was watching it and making fun of the guy even though he wasn’t doing anything except loving being on stage.

And, breaking news, it turns out that I may not get into that education class after all which kind of sucks.  I have to wait until the start of next semester to see if the section has seats available at which point anyone will be able to register.  Until then, I’m registered for a greek art class in its place.

Lastly, it’s surprisingly easy to slip into supporting eugenics and I blame this on the fact that geneticists find eugenics to be so abhorrent and such an uncomfortable part of the discipline’s history that it’s rarely actually discussed or taught.  And this is the same problem with minimizing slavery or the holocaust or the treatment of indigenous Americans.  Those who do not learn and critically consider history are doomed to repeat it.  Scientists have an ethical responsibility to go beyond providing data.  They must nip misinterpretations in the bud by addressing the context of their work.  We read an article (more like a saga of articles, it was the scientific equivalent of a fight over twitter) in popgen which got me completely wired by the way that it used eugenics rhetoric without addressing that issue explicitly, and that feels so much more irresponsible than saying your a eugenics advocate outright (my prof had to assure me that the author was not, in fact, a eugenics guy).  I just... science doesn’t exist in a vacuum, and we live in an age where information is readily available to any person at any time.  Scientists need to keep that in mind and consider the social ramifications of their work, especially if it relates to humans.  Neutral science does not exist!!  We’re all influenced by the context in which we are raised!!  Anyway, back to the original point, eugenics should be taught sensitively in science classes so that people understand a) how to detect the warning signs of a budding eugenics-based argument and b) why they’re wrong to begin with.  Only then can we civilly discuss issues like how to mitigate the problems of the (fairly theoretical to begin with) human genetic load or whatever.

Today I’m thankful for the walks promenades I took last night and tonight!!  It was decently warm and I just needed to blow off some steam (we’re a mere week into daylight savings and I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate how sunset starts at 2 pm I hate how I feel down more often now).  Plus CRC3E38 was released yesterday and I tore through that thing on my walks.  I’m thankful that there’s a big open area on campus where people often frequent so I feel safe walking at night.  I’m thankful that I, a patron of the arts, went to see an (free) a capella show tonight, a lovely and uniquely collegiate experience.  I’m thankful that my cello-friend liked my arrangement draft!!  Finally, I’m thankful that I know people who will straight up tell me who the red flags in my field of choice are because I was definitely unknowingly flying close to one.

[salaciousslut]

How has your day been so far, sweetheart?<3 also im ngl sometimes when i listen to Igual Que Un Ángel by Kali Uchis i think of you🫣

I'd trust you with my life if i ever blacked out tbh! I dont trust many people around me when im drunk but you give off a really safe feeling so if it were just us two i would maybe over do it on the alcohol 🫣 the thought of being hung over is so scary to me tbh!! I never wanna be hung over! And if i drink on an empty stomach im fucked like im just real drunk off one shot its not fair 🙄 i hope you'd have fun with us if you got drunk with us!! but im ngl i think i was a lil weird last night due to unfortunately getting a bit horny but y'know thats life😩 im just glad my friends werent able to tell cause that's between me and whoever i wanna tell. Normally though we are just big dorks abour anime, movies, and random tv shows, and i cant shut up about music half the time. 🤭

Im the same way!! i just unfortunately occasionally have some like autism/adhd moments where suddenly ive focused too much on trying to actively listen and end up not listening, so if i ask you to repeat yourself a few times its either bc of that or the fact that my audio processing stuff is kinda crazy at times. But i know i'll enjoy hearing you talk<3

Tease me as much as you want to<3 and by all means go ahead and be a menace. Either way im gonna end up with my fingers inside you🥰 i wanna make you melt, i wanna see just how much you need someone inside of you<33

Its sweet that you wanna spoil me<3 like it feels like a crime that youre calling me kind when you keep talking about taking care of me and spoiling me and im just saying nice things. Like i should be taking care of you, youre the princess here sweetheart<3 and i swear to you im thriving under any circumstance, the universe wakes me up every morning by gently kissing my eyelids hehe🤭

I hope to show you my smile and see yours, i dunno how you feel about video calls, but maybe when im comfy with it and if youre comfy with it (and after ive been in your dms a little while) we can do a lil video call! Just an innocent little hang out between a butch and a pretty girl<3 I'll let you know if you feed it too much in that case, I could use a lil more confidence just not too much. I can teeter on the edge of entitlement if i let it go too far, and i hate who i am when i act entitled like that version of me is such a dick and not even in a hot way.

its been okay, ive been studying all day because i have a big exam on monday which is soooo boring but im trying my best! and omg i just listened to the song and its so pretty!! im really honored that you think of me 🥺☺️ ive listened to a few of kali uchis stuff and its sooo good!!

aww yes i take care of my people!! im the mom friend so i gotta make sure everyone is alive and safe! but hehe i hope u werent horny because of me 🫣 if it was then oopsies sorry babe! and i love big lil dorks!! im a lil nerd myself so i totally understand!!

its okay i know what u mean! i have auditory processing issues too but im very understanding and well always do as asked so u never have to worry being around me!

ahh youre soo swoon worthy, i want you inside me now!!!! 🥺

youre saying nice things because you are nice and kindhearted! plus i just like seeing other happy!! and we can take care of each other!! none of that one way shit!!! its give and take!! hehe im kissing u on the nose and temple rn 😘

yes yes i love video calls, im the type who if u give me permission to call u whenever, ill learn ur schedule and just ft out of the blue bc i miss ur face and presence. i know how u feel tho so please take ur time!! hehe handsome butch and a pretty princess on the phone is too powerful tho, everyone else needs to watch out

okay i understand!! but dont be too hard on yourself okay? u deserve good things

[jdgo51]

DAILY DEVOTIONAL FOR SEPTEMBER 15, 2023

Putting God First

By Aya Bianca Into (Davao del Norte, Philippines)

READ MATTHEW 6:25-34

"Seek first [God’s] kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."

MATTHEW 6:33 (NIV)

"Exams, scholarship requirements, extracurricular activities — this summed up my everyday life during my freshman year of college. The first few months went well. But I was part of a music organization that required several hours of practice every week — even on holidays. As time passed, I became exhausted with my routine. I started to worry that I might fail my exams and lose my scholarship.

One evening I felt God speaking to me, telling me to put God first on my to-do list each day and trust that my busy schedule and other concerns would be taken care of. So I committed to spend time praying and reading scripture every morning. As exam day approached, I saw how spending time with God regularly was helping me to put things in order — my studies, my time, and my daily tasks.

When my exam results came in, I was excited to see a near-perfect score. Truly God is faithful to the promise that if we put God first, God will take care of our daily needs. Time spent with God will never be in vain." Oh to have read this back in the day. It makes sense and I possibly had heard similar statements over my life until I got to college and later grad schools. Its funny how we hear things again and again and yet suddenly the message comes through one day. Is that day , too late? Nothing is ever too late.

TODAY'S PRAYER

"Dear God, thank you for taking care of our daily needs. Help us to spend more time with you even on busy days." Amen.

Matthew 6:25-34 25 “Therefore, I say to you, don’t worry about your life, what you’ll eat or what you’ll drink, or about your body, what you’ll wear. Isn’t life more than food and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds in the sky. They don’t sow seed or harvest grain or gather crops into barns. Yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Aren’t you worth much more than they are? 27 Who among you by worrying can add a single moment to your life? 28 And why do you worry about clothes? Notice how the lilies in the field grow. They don’t wear themselves out with work, and they don’t spin cloth. 29 But I say to you that even Solomon in all of his splendor wasn’t dressed like one of these. 30 If God dresses grass in the field so beautifully, even though it’s alive today and tomorrow it’s thrown into the furnace, won’t God do much more for you, you people of weak faith? 31 Therefore, don’t worry and say, ‘What are we going to eat?’ or ‘What are we going to drink?’ or ‘What are we going to wear?’ 32 Gentiles long for all these things. Your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 Instead, desire first and foremost God’s kingdom and God’s righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore, stop worrying about tomorrow, because tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Let's wake up. Seek God and everything else will go marvelously. We still want to worry, but we truly do not need to. (This is a hard lesson to learn, approaching 75 and I still don't believe it all the time.) Blessings, Joe

[stephanneau]

more news (for bored people)

Hello, how are you doing? I wanted to talk a bit abt my life currently bcz a lot of things are happening in my head and in my life so I wanted to deliver me from it. First of all, school is finished for this year, although I have a last test on wednesday, its a french oral and it upsets me so much bcz we have to learn the analysis of 20 texts and you will only have to tell one to the jury, totally useless but its a part of the points of the baccalauréat, a very important exam. I am upset because I am one of the last to take the test and also because I see everyone else studying. I suffer from anxiety and its makes me feel bad. However, I know how my brain work, I am always productive on the last minute. Concerning school, I have a problem. If you were here in september and if youve paid attention to my post, I said that we had 3 subjects to choose and these subjects are our main for the baccalauréat. I have chosen english, art and humanity. For the last year of school, you have to leave one of these subjects, and I choose to leave humanity bcz art was my plan for the future and i feel great in english. this choice was made at the beginning of the year in my head and there was no prob abt it , however, I used to love my art teacher a lot but suddenly, she started to be really rude but i a “gentle” way. She was passive agressive and me I tried to deal with this teacher and my constant anxiety and it was so hard. I fainted twice bcz of her. She was so in contradiction with her own word and it never helps students to progress. The story behind this is very long so im going short. I choose to keep this subject via an important website and the week later, I had a big anxiety crisis bcz of her and I give her a letter to say how bad I feel with her and she started to tell that i don’t need to keep art with the studies I want to do. I was in shock bcz i already choose what I wanted to leave. However now I have a meeting with someone of the school to discuss abt it and my choice is already made. Now I would like to do dance studies bcz I do dance since 2013 and I always loved that. This year was my last wth my teacher since the beginning and it is so sad because the school made him quit. Moreover, they want to change the job and to close some classes and these classes are the one that concern me :,). Now i am enrolled to the best dance school in my city and a lot of people started to say crap abt my school ( it is a music and dance school) and they used to criticize my dance teacher like it was his fault, and i felt so bad for him because he didnt wanted to finish like this.