#i know you didn’t ask for the advice

[loganslowdown4]

Logan: The quickest way to a man's heart is through the fourth and fifth rib.

Logan: The quickest way to a woman's heart too.

Logan: Anyone, really.

Virgil:

Logan: Oh, you wanted romantic advice.

Virgil: Yes, thanks!

Logan: Ask Roman.

[autistichedgehogs]

[yay-depression]

if someone else without a sleep disorder gives me “sleep tips” i will no longer be responsible for my actions

[muttsandmustelidae]

i regret to inform all of my fellow socially awkward kings that Practicing Talking Good actually helps. u have to make small talk at the grocery store sometimes to get better at speaking to people u don’t know very well. it sucks but if u keep trying it will eventually NOT suck and will in fact be fun and nice

[superbattrash]

Hello, hi, fic writer on prolonged hiatus here 👋🏼

If you comment on a fic (which… thank you, you’re a champ, I love you) only for your comment to be a variation of “there’s a typo here”, “you did this wrong” or “that’s stupid” I implore you to maybe, possibly not comment at all unless the specific writer asked for these kinds of comments/criticisms

If you read through 30k of my hard work to only be left with “you spelled that wrong” it will make me feel really shitty and like you didn’t read/like the story at all. So, as I’ve said a few times already: please think before you comment. There’s an actual person on the other side of the screen.

Oh, and yes, emojis totally count as comments! 🫡

[autisticlancemcclain]

I’ve really enjoyed your writing and I was curious to know if you ever experience writers block and how you try to drag yourself out of it? (I’m in need of advice)

thank you!! and i most definitely have omg. only rarely do i actually have, like, ideas for a fic. most of the time the hours are ticking past and i’m like FUCK i don’t have a goddamn thought pinging in my brain rn for tonight’s fic 😭😭 so i deal with writers block several times a week lol. i have a couple strategies for it.

1. this one is more of a future set up thing. over the weeks and months i’ve set up a saved folder where i use social media the most —inst*gram — and every time i see something that either reminds me of the blorbos or i think has story potential (which takes some time to start noticing, don’t worry if it’s slow at first, i used to add to the folder like once or twice a week and now it’s once or twice a day lol), i save it:

sometimes i send the post to a friend with a vague outline of what i’m doing, which looks something like this:

and screenshot that for later. this way i have this folder of ideas and one-offs to turn to when the well has run dry. it doesn’t always work, but it works enough that i think it’s worth the effort.

2. this one is less cool and suave, but when i don’t have any ideas, i try to just…write whatever. i don’t mean, like, write a random story, i just mean write random ass words and see what happens. i tend to work best with dialogue, so i’ll just type out a random sentence and see what happens, see what my brain does without me focusing on it. i’ll walk you through one of those now:

“Don’t.”

there’s a random starting word. just a single word. it could go literally anywhere, from humour to actiony order-barking, but i’m getting a bit of an angsty vibe to this, so i’m just going to pick a character — my beloved — who i’m very used to writing and can picture easily and add a dialogue tag.

“Don’t,” Lance warns.

okay! now we’re getting somewhere farther. now i try to ask myself one or two prodding questions: what does his voice sound like? can i hear him saying this in my head? who’s he saying it to? what emotion is he portraying? i don’t have to actually answer any of the questions, but now i’m thinking, baby steps, and i can get going easier, because i’m actually starting to hear this in my head:

“Don’t,” Lance warns, voice wobbling. “Don’t do this to me.”

from here i just see where i can go. one thing i have to remind myself is that no one is holding me to a standard but me. this can be two words or two hundred. a page or a novel. whatever i come up with. i’ll give it a fair chance, but if it doesn’t go anywhere, that’s okay, i’ll try again later. i try to just get into things and go. i’ll lean into what’s familiar to make things easier on myself:

“Don’t,” Lance warns, voice wobbling. “Don’t do this to me.”

Keith looks away. He has a hard enough time keeping steady with Lance normally, when he’s smiling, smirking, when he puts a hand on Keith’s shoulder and teases him about his hair.

But when he’s looking at Keith like Keith has a choice to make? And he’s making the wrong one?

It’s almost physical, the ache. The pain of knowing he’s hurting someone but doing it anyway.

“I have to,” Keith says quietly. He clutches the strap of the duffel bag hanging over his shoulder, picking uselessly at a loose thread. “I can’t stay here.”

“You can.” Lance’s voice is still weak, shaking, but there’s something steady to it, a resolution. He’s sure he’s right. “You always can. You’ve never had to run.”

Keith says nothing.

“Don’t run away from me, Keith.”

Lance never pleads. He’s too proud. Keith pretends he doesn’t hear the desperation in his voice, for both of their sakes.

“I’ll call,” Keith offers. He looks up as he says it, but he still doesn’t meet Lance’s eyes. He’s afraid to see the hurt that he knows is there, the disappointment. If he doesn’t look he can pretend it’s not.

“No, you won’t.”

He says it like it’s a surety. Space is vast, time expands, and Keith won’t call. Keith is running away, again.

Keith turns around and leaves without another word.

that took me about six minutes. took some thinking, here and there, but it was easier as i kept going. i stuck to what i’m good at, remembered i don’t need any context for this (it’s just an exercise!) and moved forward.

i hope this is helpful! feel free to dm me if you’re still stuck, i’m happy to bounce around ideas :))

[gunnrblze]

Hello hello good midnight/early morning gunboracay!

Just a lil rambling cuz I'm not sure how to react, apparently my colleague in our group that is seated beside me actually uses me whenever we have a group project because he replies on me for my frequency in English, knowledge on our project topics, and my ability to dogshit my way through presentations.

Another colleague that the whole group + our supervisor despises told me that everyone else thinks and/or knows I'm being used by the guy for projects, and my best friends from other sections agreed and now despise him but I can't do anything about it because he's situated beside me and he's the only dude that actively seeks to include me

I'm not sure what to do :(

Good morning! Im sorry you’re dealing with shit colleagues. If it were me, I’d honestly ease up on helping him, even if it means he doesn’t include me anymore. Your contribution shouldn’t be taken advantage of my dear

But whatever you do, I know it’ll all work out🩶

[aroaessidhe]

2023 reads / storygraph

The Poisons We Drink

YA urban fantasy

a girl who brews powerful potions is coerced into making potions to interfere with D.C.’s most influential politicians in an attempt to stop a dangerous Witcher Registration Act from passing, and will do anything to protect her sister after their mother is killed

bi MC, nonbinary love interest

arc from netgalley

[skinreflectsthesun]

.

[iliveinprocrasti-nationn]

i’m so frustrated with people’s lack of common sense about wildlife. if you’re interacting with wildlife, you’re not having your disney princess moment. you’re not forming a magical bond. that’s a wild animal who is potentially terrified; maybe it’s curious if it’s young enough, but that just means you should minimise interactions as much as possible to make sure that animal lives a normal life. if your kid comes in holding a wild animal, don’t pick up your fucking phone to videotape it. bring the animal back outside and educate your kid to leave animals alone. you know what happens when you take in wildlife as a “pet”? either you keep it and do damage because even though it’s “tame” it’s a wild animal who is in no way meant to live in that setting unless it’s being kept by a trained and licensed rehabber who knows the housing and feeding requirements (and even then i’ve seen some who are keeping animals irresponsibility), or it ends up at a wildlife rehab when you inevitably harm it enough that you don’t know what to do, or when no vets see you, or when the animal becomes too aggressive for you to handle. and then we either figure out how to rehabilitate an animal whose temperament and/or body you have massively damaged or we euthanise it because the damage is too extensive. start treating wildlife like wild animals rather than a dog or cat. they’re not pets, they’re not domesticated, leave them alone and let them live happy lives as they’re supposed to.

[winnie-the-monster]

“Landon, it’s alright. It’s not your fault. No matter what happens just stay one of the heroes.”

[whimsycore]

Identifying the white people you know are going to a problem before they can start shit is pivotal when you’re a black woman

[perfectlyripeclementine]

"i want it to not be heavy for you to say no" "none of this is a loss or a compromise" i have been staring at this with tears in my eyes and absolutely aching. not sure i know how to imagine the pleasure that follows that kind of safety and tenderness, but i'm also really glad to read it and know people will be held in hands that believe this. responding eagerly to your touch because it adjusts and stays and cherishes instead of pushing or withdrawing. xo

Oh, sweet anon, this ask makes me so happy and sad at the same time. Thank you for your kind words about being happy for people who experience that kind of care. I promise you based on the reactions I got to that post alone I know there are many people that also feel the same as I do and I promise you can find someone like that too.

At the risk of giving some unsolicited advice, here are things I have thought about / have helped me getting to where I am with this type of communication. These are my own experiences; take what resonates, leave what doesn’t. And I want to lead with the thought that sex should always be about pleasure, even when it is also about pain, and a good partner will be curious about your pleasure. But they may be clumsy or unsure how to ask, and that is something you can work on together.

I think some of the pressure that stone folks often feel to perform certain things they aren’t completely comfortable with comes from a lot of folks (even queer folks!) not knowing what other options there are for pleasure outside of the obvious sex acts (oral, fingering, touching, etc.) Everyone has such a nuanced and complicated relationship to their own body and eroticism. Only you are the expert at what makes you feel good and a partner who cares about you and your pleasure will be eager and curious to give that to you. (I’m not stone, mind you, nor do I mean to project that label onto you if it’s not comfortable. Take what’s for you.)

I am grateful for my partners when they tell me they’re not comfortable with something, especially if it is something that we have done together before. It tells me they are in their body and checking in with themself, and that they trust me to respect their boundaries. It is especially helpful when they offer something else that I can do instead.

That can look like like: I’d rather not take my underwear off right now, can you touch me over them more? Or: I don’t like having my (body part) touched, but it feels really good when you touch (other body part) instead. You can also say these things before sex, or even after sex, if you find you went along with an act that didn’t work for you. It’s never too early or too late to help someone be safe for you. Or you can tell someone how you like them to check in with you, if it’s something you feel comfortable communicating non-verbally, or if there are certain physical motions you do that mean “back off” or “slower” or “softer.”

The other day, I did something with my partner that they had enjoyed with me in the past but I know is sensitive for them. It was the first time i did it without asking them for permission in words. I started very softly, looking up to them for their reaction, and it made me feel so cherished and safe and trusted when they automatically put their hand in my hair to guide me.

Sex should always be about pleasure and a good partner will want that for you as much as they want it for themself. Your boundaries should be not only respected but cherished. It’s cool and fun to be creative about the things that give us pleasure and to exit the hands-mouth-genitals pathway. I promise you that there are people who will hold these things preciously with you, and I hope you find them soon. ❤️

[cleolinda]

AITA for banning my husband and father in law from the delivery room due to their intensely stressful/creepy behavior during my pregnancy?

There’s a famous Reddit post from 2020 where a pregnant woman wrote that her husband and father-in-law were a little too comfortable with their certainty that she was absolutely going to die in childbirth just like her husband’s late mother. It was to the point where her FIL was insisting that she go ahead and put all her clothes into storage, because she was obviously going to die in the hospital and it would save them the grief of packing up her things afterwards. Like. It was WILD.

When I tell my husband [that she feels suspicious of her FIL], he calls me paranoid, but I feel like my FIL WANTS me to die; his whole life identity for the past 35 years has been “amazing single dad” (never dated or had close friends or even hobbies really), and it seems like he’s looking forward to being able to guide my husband through what he went through. At this point, I’d honestly be happy to never see my FIL again, and I certainly don’t want him in the delivery room, especially since he told me he was “putting [his] foot down” about me not being “allowed” to have an epidural…. My husband, in addition to backing his dad on everything, acts like my due date is my death date, and has completely pulled away from me.

The commenters (and me, honestly) were convinced that the husband and FIL were either going to kill her outright to fulfill this expectation, or just make decisions about her care that might conveniently let her die.

And then she never posted again.

Over the last four years, people have frequently mentioned that post, always leading to a thread of people saying, “Oh god, I still worry about that woman.” I did too. It became one of those famous unresolved posts that people always wondered about.

Until yesterday, when someone on r/BestOfRedditorUpdates dug up a 2022 update she had posted on a different account:

TLDR; I had a beautiful and healthy baby girl, and I divorced my ex-husband. I lived, obviously.

She writes that she put her foot down about having her own mother in the delivery room rather than her FIL (!), and she WOULD be getting an epidural. Her husband lost his shit. And in his outburst, he let slip--

I admittedly lost my temper, and told him that I wasn’t going to die- it wasn’t my fault his father’s trauma wormed it’s way into his head, and that he needed to fix it without taking it out on me. He yelled at me that he didn’t need therapy. That caught me a little off guard; I asked him why he went to his therapist and was given advice about my death if he felt he didn’t need it. His expression gave it away, and he caved not long after. It turns out there was no therapist. It was just his dad. During the times he was supposed to be at therapy, he was with his dad. I’m still fuming.

And that was when she got the fuck out.

I’ll wrap this up- I’ve got an adorable little toddler tugging at my leg atm. I’m alive, I’m happy, and I’ve got my baby in my arms. Life is good.

I truly never thought we'd see a resolution to this, and I feel like there's probably a good number of people who remember it, so I thought you might want to know.

ETA: Brilliantly, I put the link in at the top; here it is again for convenience.

[hypersexuality-vents]

Not gonna lie here. I’ve never been in a relationship before but I’m starting to wonder if I just… wouldn’t be able to. I’m such a needy and sexual person that no-one would be able to keep up with me. And what if my partner had no desire/ability to experience arousal? It would be selfish of me to be like this in a relationship with an asexual or celibate partner. Am I ever going to find love when I’m like this???

[neon-danger]

Oh well. At least it works for you.

It definitely is not for everyone, I am very lucky in that regard.