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youranxiousnerd · 3 years

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The Transformation Thoughts

bc hsmtmts said gay rights

spoilers below

yesss seb doing the recap

wait did seb just say he was crying?!?! give him a hug

cow baby!!!

wow miss jenn and seb having a civil conversation

Natalie is back!!

ej and ricky with the mask

kourtney’s outfit!!!

ashlyn’s outfit...

ahh so the awards and the show are separate, good, that’s how it works

RICKY’S SHIRT!?!?!?!

i love it

ricky is lgbt do not try to convince me otherwise

ASHLYN IS SINGING IT IS BEAUTIFUL

like pop off

ricky and the mask

that mask is the true villain in season 2

“Belle, I-” flops

Ashlyn is carrying the scene, she is such a good Belle

how is ricky allowed on stage oh my god

the cap

that damn mask

“It’s okay, it was just my face”

Miss Jenn is hanging on by a thread

finally some ashlyn and ricky content

“Which they will” buddy have you faced the music? Have you seen Ricky?

“I think I might have been playing Troy at one point”

Miss Jenn needs help from someone who isn’t a teenager

“Mother is freaking out” High school theater at it’s finest

“There is math involved”

“OH”

sassy seb

i can’t with east high’s tech crew, what are you doing?!?!

and why are the actors figuring out the tech stuff?!? i’m sure kourt, big red, ashlyn (she knows all), and seb (he lives on a farm) know what to do.

the crew cannot be that bad

btw here are my thoughts on this scene

guys it is ashlyn’s house not yours

portwell shoulder bump

ASHLYN I LOVE YOU

OH SO NOW YOU HAVE DRILLS

WHERE WERE THEY WHEN THE TECHIES STARTED USING GLUE ON PLYWOOD!?!?!?!

I WANT ANSWERS

i. cannot. with. this. show.

lily wtf

“is this too weird” yes

like why?

lily like actually shut up

big red’s “wtf”

let her be evil damnit

“i’m just not well liked here” i wonder why

that was really weird, anyways

“he gets weird around tools”

me too

no give big red the drill he knows how to use it

someone write a fic about the girls and seb’s chaotic target run

why don’t you have a blackout and dramatic music and lights for the transformation, i know it isn’t award level but if done right it can be pretty dope

“I don’t know if my parents will be okay with me being at a co-ed sleepover”

“Chip, this is your mother speaking, go call your mother”

HE DID THE FINGER GUNS

GAY TABLE SIT AND FINGER GUNS THEY DID THEIR RESEARCH

ashlyn’s bucket

CARLOS GAY TABLE SIT

OH MY GOD

they’re so gay soulmates

let big red have his skateboards

“i need to talk to seb at some point but it can wait” honey no it can’t wait seb is on the verge of a breakdown

wait they havent talked in a week

Im a hypocrite ive been dancing around someone for three years

“You’re still at school”

“I’m worried about my children” “She means us”

such a high school theater thing (like i got married during high school theater, we had a family tree)

“ah, Sebby”

“Now I’m pretty sad” give him a hug

the girls ship seblos

“But, I guess he has to be, out of default, right... there’s not a lot of choices for a boy like Carlos, here, at East.”

alright here come the tears

why...why couldn’t he say “gay” or “queer” or “lgbt”?!?!

“Not so good at saying the feelings part out loud”

shiz that hit close to home.

Seb is just making me cry today, isn’t he?

wait so we’re just going to change the subject? coming from a queer person, opening up about your problems about your sexuality is hard. like, there are things that happened years ago im just telling people.

“You’re my sister, he’s my cousin”

it seems everyone except nina knows about the chocolates. imagine gossip time when gina told people write a fic

Nini just stop talking. It wasn’t a big deal, simple mistake. Not everything has to be big and dramatic

and wasn’t she just asking about Gina and Ej?

Nini for the love of god it is not something to read into.

“The farmer type”

Ash and Red exchanging gossip

wait... why are they texting about this?

“Why wouldn’t he say something to me?” It’s a hard conversation to have. “hey are we together just because i’m your only option?”

“Okay, pretty boy” HE CALLED HIM PRETTY BOY

RICKY!!!!!!!!!!

!!!

carlos and gina chaotic siblings

give ej a hug

“Sweet boy”

im so glad the guys are talking about their feelings.

Why a sleepover? It’s more of a hangout.

“Verging on failure”

jennzara therapy

slowwww burn

you go from hand holding to fist bump

disney please release an acoustic version of “let you go”

so it’s just carlos and ricky chillin’ at big red’s house?

do not play let you go for nini

do. not.

“You guys are a hallmark movie”

for once ricky is being smart

“the look on your face when you were talking about Seb tonight” smiles

he is so whipped

“I think you and Seb have something worth fighting for...bro”

that was so sweet and then there is bro

i love this show

“Sorry, I’m adjusting to being called bro”

him and seb being awkward about feelings... that is a high school relationship

i love ricky in this scene

“Yeah, let’s just write”

ASHLYN CALLED BIG RED BABE AWWWWW

nina shut the actual hell up

“It’s in the costume shop, somewhere” mood

“Thank you, 15″ THEY SAID THE THING

GAHHHH

I LOVE IT

howie and kourtney oh my god what is happening

“and begging”

“hi” he’s so nervous oh my lord.

he is so awkward around seb

it’s like a switch

“Do you want to get risotto with me sometime” OH MY GOD THATS ADORABLE

GINA BABY HE LIKES YOU

GINA HONEY!!!

AWWW THAT WAS ADORABLE

PORTWELL YESSSS

gina’s little run

“Am I in trouble?”

they��re so nervous

oh my god its time

“You keep it all bottled up” GUYS I CANT ARGGGG

can ricky just like, go behind a curtain?

“lookin’ for our kind of love” carlos basically just said “i love you”

seb is so whipped like look at him?

they’re so in love

seb’s little eye role at “in a heartbeat, i choose you”

the hands omfg

oh my god they’re going to dance

SHIZ THE HOMECOMING SUITS

I WAS RIGHT

OH MY GOD

SHIT GUYS IM DYING

gah the hands i cant

carlos is leading i love it

the tie

a tie just killed me

im combusting

You’re honor, they’re in love

i really thought carlos was going in for a kiss he is probably getting one later

i like how the dance isn’t big, it’s small and a little awkward bc right then it’s just them.

THEYRE SO IN LOVE HOLY SHIT

damnit big red

big red is legally required to interrupt almost kiss moments especially if it’s an lgbt kiss bc we cant have two in one season

in a heartbeat is so cute. Frankie showed UP this season with the vocals. there is no way that was all acting bc they looked so in love.

I...I love it

the lyrics are perfect

In a Heartbeat and Let You Go are probably the best OG songs of the season

“Siri, add In a Heartbeat to my gay sob playlist”

these boys are just serenading each other left and right

“Yeah”

so it’s just “yeah”!?!? That’s it!?!?! Seb could have least kissed him on the cheek or did they use all their kisses?

I love the song and love the scene, but there is so much more to discuss. Are we going to brush over the fact that Seb literally had an allergic reaction and didn’t get help because he didn’t want to disappoint Carlos!?!? Are we going to brush over “no, seb” and seb feeling like he has to get carlos big things!?! One “yeah” doesn’t erase all that. I’m hoping we get closure, proper closure, not a joke.

In conclusion, only one thing was settled (Carlos loves Seb for Seb, not because he is the only out guy in school).

“Seb and Carlos suffer their first fight” effing liars

BTW it looks like they filmed the dance scene with the homecoming suits and normal outfits so disney release the footage

Ricky is the biggest Seblos shipper

“Bro”

you morons. are you using rigging without an adult there?!?!

im pretty sure that isn’t allowed. only trained people were allowed to use the rigging. it should be Natalie since she did it in HSM

you should have gotten mats are something or stand in a circle

gahhh

RICKY

OH MY FRICKING GOD

NO ONE RAN THEY JUST WATCHED WTF

WTF WAS THAT ENDING

UMMMMM NO

i legit have no words oh my god

they just killed the lead

you guys saw the rope you should have ran

you should have gotten mats or blankets or something just in case

rigging is difficult, set rigging and people rigging

EAST HIGH WTF

Looks like the sleepover is going to be in the ER

My gay heart is full but my theater heart is screaming. The episode went by really fast. I liked it, like a lot.

To answer the question, no, I am not okay @organic-guacamole and we will have a theater kid sleepover

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bard-llama · 3 years

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WiP List

This is gonna be looooong (like, REALLY long), so I’mma go ahead and give you a cut here. But if you’re interested in what i’m working on, take a look!

Order purely based on the order my tabs are in. I’m only counting WiPs that actually have more than a paragraph written, because if I didn’t, this list would be even longer. Also, pls don’t judge me but what I name my WiPs 😂

Post-Coital Smoke

Kinda what it sounds like tbh. I just wanted Iorveth getting high and admiring Roche’s body and then Roche decided to be a tease. At some point, I assume there will be sex.

Angst: Sex object Roche

Iorveth’s POV of realizing that Roche hurts himself whenever he flirts at Iorveth. Premise is that Roche has been groomed (intentionally or not) by Foltest to be his. So when he feels attraction towards Iorveth, he needs to be punished. And obviously Iorveth helps him learn that no, that’s not okay and idk recovery???

Midwinter Feast

This idea was 100% spawned by me trying to write holiday fics, but Foltest hosts a Midwinter Feast where they close the city for 12 days, leaving Roche to get along with the Nonhuman/Scoia’tael(ish) delegation during that time. Also, Foltest might be using the feast as a delaying tactic to resupply his army. I legit have no idea where this is going, I just thought the idea of Roche and Iorveth stuck at a feast for 12 days was funny.

Solstice Feast aka To Birth a Verdant Future

This was actually an xmas gift for @lutes-and-dandelions, but I havent finished it yet 😓 But the premise is similar to the former in that it’s another solstice feast. But it’s set post-W3 with Emhyr as Emperor throwing a party in the new conquered capital of Vizima. Roche broods a lot about Foltest’s memory and how he hates Emhyr and decides to distract himself by hanging out with Iorveth and suggesting they follow an old elven tradition. And that’s all I’ll say. XD

Next Year (Solstice Feast sequel)

Literally set the next year. This time they merge their lives by merging their people’s traditions.

Lily Preserved in Amber

Okay, haven’t gotten very far in this, but I decided it was an elven rite of passage to go searching through the forest for a sign of your future. And Iorveth finds a piece of amber with a lily preserved inside. I haven’t decided if it purely means Roche or if it means his whole family with Roche and Boussy and Anais and all. So far, he hasn’t even found the amber yet lmao. But he did just discover music!

Character taking control of the other and Character B just letting go and enjoying themselves

Under the subheading “Porn Snips”, so uh, yeah. Starts with Roche and Iorveth fighting to decide who gets to top, involves Roche getting choked, and Iorveth ripping Roche’s pants off. Oh, also, they’re currently at a fancy party hiding somewhere in the garden lmao

Based on @moonlights-ordinance‘s art

Moonlight’s working on an adorable piece where Roche leans his forehead against Iorveth’s back between his shoulderblades. I decided to make it post-W3 with both of them working as paper pushers/administrators under Emhyr’s Temeria. And Nilfgaard does not believe in chairs with backs (or, really, Emhyr wanted to see how long Roche’s pride would make him suffer. It’s a long time). The idea is to show development over time as they slowly get more comfortable with touch and start using each other as backrests. And then the sweet scene Moonlight is drawing.

Eliza for @useless-empty-brain aka Can’t We All Just Get Oolong?

Next is Iorveth’s POV, but I legit cannot figure out where to start. But we’re gonna see some of his thoughts (like how Eliza volunteered him to stay in Vizima for an unspecified period of time and he said yes even though he can’t and now has to commute regularly because he doesn’t want to miss tea with Roche but also doesn’t want Roche’s spies to catch on lmao) and his curiosity about Roche and Foltest and what Roche’s mission is (which I... totally know.)

Roche’s Scars

@moonlights-ordinance sent me a great pic of a mod for Roche where he had some pretty vicious scarring/mutilation. So of course I decided I needed to tell the story of each one. But really, it’s a story about the stages of acceptance with scars. Both Iorveth and Roche start out hiding theirs, but eventually come to reveal them comfortably in public.

Vernon Roche of the Scoia’tael aka The Value of a Man

Does my title give it away? Oops? So, this is a found family fic where Roche is captured by the Scoia’tael and the elves and dwarves slowly come to see him as - well, I was gonna say human, but as a person, I guess. And start feeling really, really guilty, especially when some not great things happen to Roche.

Oh also, Foltest is a giant dick and uh, SPOILERS he does not try to get Roche back. Which leads to a whole subplot that will end with a found family for EVERYONE, because they all deserve to be happy dammit.

All of that was just one document lmao. I have 24 documents, some of which have quite a few WiPs in them. 😱

Kiss Prompts

24. Deep kisses where they have their hands tangled in each other’s hair to pull them closer. AKA How to Fluster an Elf

When I got the idea for How to Fluster an Elf, I decided it was gonna fill the prompt dammit. And then it really, really expanded on me.

33. An unexpected kiss that shocks the one receiving it.

Roche dreams occasionally that Iorveth visits him and watches over him and sometimes speaks, but he can’t understand Elder Speech, so he assumes it’s all gibberish.

Then he finds out it’s not and suddenly he’s not so certain it’s a dream

16. One person pouting, only to have it removed by a kiss from the other person.

Okay, I literally just need to buckle down and write some good kissing. This is set in (Im)Perfect Strangers and Iorveth is pouting about them leaving the gardens, so Roche makes it up to him.

25. Wet kisses after finding refuge from the rain.

This one won’t actually be published with the kisses ‘cause it’s porn and the rest are T-rated lol. Buuuut Roche and Iorveth are trying to have a secret liaison in the forest when the rain starts. Featuring nature magic, tentacles, and Iorveth getting filled.

Scenes from Another World (aka AU premise)

Old Men in Vergen

Set during Witcher 3, but with an established relationship. Roche comes to visit Iorveth in Vergen to ask for advice on leading an insurgency. Iorveth just wants to feed Roche while he can now that he’s not the one starving in the woods.

Language Aphasia/Deal with the Devil

I wanted to write Gaunter! So I decided that Gaunter is in a mood for some mischief (he calls it being generous) and comes upon a traveling Vernon Roche who wishes that he could be understand Iorveth. Then Iorveth’s Scoia’tael find a passed out Roche in the woods and bring him to Iorveth for judgement. Only somehow, Roche only understands Elder Speech now. He can’t understand Common at all. The Scoia’tael find this very offensive and Iorveth is mostly freaked out that someone who can do THAT was wandering around his forest.

Bunk Beds: The Portrait of Cirilla Fiona Elen Riannon

Based on a silly comic, Ciri convinces Iorveth and Roche to try to help her destroy the portrait. Geralt gets pissed and sends them to Bunk Bed Exile. Shenanigans ensue and somehow they start to get along.

Iorveth’s Scoia’tael Giving Him Shit For His Taste in Men aka The Lovestruck Fox

Right now, working on a piece from the POV of a new Scoia’tael recruit who is discovering that Iorveth’s Scoia’tael roast the fuck out of him over his crush on Roche.

Speaking of, anyone have suggestions on prime roast material? I am not this creative.

Let’s Torture Roche!

No, really. This one is pretty dark. And told in kind of a different style than my usual, because I felt like it. So, premise is that Iorveth and Roche were a thing in the past, but then Roche was recalled to Foltest’s side and he went. So Iorveth is understandably pretty hurt and pissed (this was decided for a prompt of someone breaking down as soon as they’re behind closed doors). Buuut what he doesn’t know is that Roche is not with Foltest of his own volition. Hostages, blackmail, and torture are all involved and Foltest is a pretty horrible guy. But of course we need a happy ending, so eventually, Iorveth will rescue Roche and they get to recover together.

Life Debt aka Iorveth is an Asshole

The concept for this was that Roche saved Iorveth’s life and now that they were no longer enemies (set during Witcher 3), his honor demands that he follow Roche around until he can repay the favor. Featuring Iorveth being a trolling asshole, correcting the new Temerian Loyalist’s fighting abilities, and Roche being very, very tired.

In application, it’s mostly angst so far, ‘cause I had to set up HOW Roche saved Iorveth’s life. And then I decided to really hurt Iorveth. But tbh I will probably skip ahead after establishing this stuff, because I just want shenanigans.

King and Country

I’ve got several WiPs for this one, including the Stripes’ recruitment, their decision to change sides, the Stripes being double agents, and of course, Iorveth and Roche’s developing relationship. But hey, I’ve skipped ahead to writing their wedding already, so... you know it ends happily ever after?

Friday Fight Night for Jan 29 (which I did not make oops)

So, this actually turned into a long piece that’s gonna be part of my Chronic Pain series. Basically, King Foltest is treating with the leaders of the Scoia’tael in Temeria and Iorveth is one of them. Unfortunately, he’s having a REALLY BAD pain day, but he’s also determined to be there to represent his people. Roche helps him see sense. Possibly forcefully.

Exhaustion Prompts

“If we’re both in this state, we both really screwed up somewhere huh?”

Iorveth and Roche are trapped in a dream and I got a little stuck creating the creature that trapped them there. But pretty sure Saskia is gonna interrupt their flirting by saving them.

“You were almost dead from pushing it too far!”

In which Roche has a heart attack from too much coffee. Yeah. He’s okay, though! But PT is about to blow a gasket and coffee will very much be disallowed.

Found Family Prompts

Taking Out the Trash for @useless-empty-brain

Literally a story about taking out the trash lmao. We’re gonna see if I can make this intersting.

Touch Starved for @mochii-girl

Honestly, haven’t gotten much done on this yet, but I’m thinking puppy pile cuddles in Corvo Bianco

Coffeeshop AU aka Brewing Romance and Dissent

Ooof I’ve got a lot of bits and pieces of this written, but nothing quite finished, except for the moment when things change from “we flirt as I order coffee” to “I make you special drinks and invite you to come visit me after hours”. Writing a canon coffeeshop au when I know shit all about coffee is HARD.

Curse Breaking

Omg this is one of the first WiPs I started for Iorveth/Roche, no joke. STILL WORKING ON IT! The premise is that Roche finds a feverish and dying Iorveth in an empty Scoia’tael camp, saves him with the power of True Love’s Kiss The Power of Strong Emotions, Like That Which You Might Have For Your Enemy. Then they team up to go save Iorveth’s Scoia’tael from a big bad mage and Roche invites Triss along for the ride, which totally doesn’t make Iorveth jealous. I kinda stalled out at the part where they reach the mage’s hideout and see the results of the mages failed experiments. On Iorveth’s people. It’s gonna hurt. A lot. But afterwards, there might be makeouts. And some sort of implication that they’re all down to do this (minus the horrible, traumatic parts) again.

Roche POV bloodplay

Roche’s POV starting from before his first encounter with Iorveth. Then he has a weirdly sexually arousing encounter with the elf, and tbh, that’s as far as I got. But Iorveth draws blood from Roche’s neck, presses his thumb to it, and then licks it off his thumb. Next, Iorveth was gonna be the one getting Uncomfortably Aroused, but I haven’t gotten that far. No idea where this is going overall.

Iorveth Investigates Roche

This kinda isn’t a real WiP in that idk if I’ll ever finish it. I mostly started it to do some worldbuilding about what public information there would be about Roche.

Voyeurism AKA Eye on You

Yeah, I don’t have much for the next chapter yet, tbh. So premise is that Iorveth accidentally ends up watching Roche get off at the brothel and finds it really, really hot. Hot enough to get curious and go back for more. Next one is going to involve thigh fucking and Iorveth might possibly get pegged by Daph??? idk

Fake Relationship

Poor @lutes-and-dandelions has been waiting forever for this one and I can’t even find a place to end the scene and post what I have so far. Premise is that Iorveth and Roche are both investigating their missing men and the trail takes them to the Murivel Resort for Couples. So they go undercover. Featuring Roche’s POV of being doubtful, Iorveth using the excuse to flirt outrageously, strip gwent, and a magic amulet that hids Iorveth’s scar and that Roche hates.

Competitive Makeouts AKA The Chase

This was kissing practice and it turned into a casefic! Which is awesome because I love casefics even though I haven’t published any yet. So in this one, as Iorveth and Roche sneak off to makeout, they also end up investigating a conspiracy in the Temerian military.

Iorveth/Roche(/Kayran) + Roche/Foltest aka Every Kiss Begins with Kayran

In which Roche accidentally walks in on Iorveth’s monthly fuck date with the Kayran and gets invited to join in. Then, somehow, it starts to turn into a relationship. With an elf and a tentacle monster. And yet, somehow, this relationship is healthier than the one with Foltest. The contrast opens Roche’s eyes.

Pining and Poignards

In which Iorveth stabs Roche with his favorite knife and wants it back and is also maybe pining a lil bit. Meanwhile Roche is rather pissed, but also curious and begins to teach himself Elder Speech to try to read the inscription on Iorveth’s knife. I stalled out in the scene where Iorveth accidentally watches Roche masturbate in the bath.

Iorveth tittyfucking Roche

Look, it’s what it says on the tin. Roche’s POV of Iorveth’s fascination with his chest and how it makes him feel and then there is sex.

Dirty Gremlin Man

Iorveth gets off on Roche being a sweaty, stinky human. Roche pins Iorveth in a fight and Iorveth gets very distracted watching a drop of sweat trail down Roche’s face. So distracted, in fact, that he doesn’t think twice before stretching out his neck and licking it. Then, of course, he remembers where he is. Featuring a very confused Roche, a smidge of jealousy, and Iorveth stealing Roche’s sweaty clothing to do unspeakable things to it. And somehow they get together.

Want me to sit in your lap?

Geralt LEGIT says this to Roche like 5 mins into the Witcher 2 and it’s GREAT. So of course, I had to write a scene where he actually got to. This is set post Witcher 2 while Geralt, Triss, Roche, and Ves are headed back to Temeria. Triss offers Geralt a little stress relief - which involves warming Roche’s cock and watching Triss and Ves get to know one another.

Red is the Rose

So, Chapter 4 is set post-Witcher 2 and Iorveth is obsessing over the fact that the Rose of Remembrance still has not wilted. He wonders what might be possible, so when he hears a rumor that a certain Temerian Commander was taken captive by Dethmold...

Dethmold most definitely dies. But unfortunately, that doesn’t save Roche from the curses he cast. So they go looking for Geralt to find out how to fix it.

This has only been 9 of my documents, y’all. I think I have a problem.

De-Aged Fic aka The language of friendship is not words but meanings

Ugh, I lost my momentum on this one, which sucks, ‘cause the next chapter is so close to done. Iorveth just needs to do a little freaking out first. But then they will both be back to adults and have to DEAL with the fact that they made good friends and would kinda like that again. I think this fic is gonna be purely friendship for them, but they’re gonna get there.

Glory Hole

A fic for the @sugar-and-spice-witcher-bingo where Roche hears a rumor that some Scoia’tael go to this brothel on the outskirts of town and hey, he may as well check it out, right? By going undercover and working the glory hole, of course. He never ACTUALLY expected Iorveth would come, but his legendary mouth was enticing enough to draw the Scoia’tael commander out.

Snuggling

Thirteen “accidentally” handcuffs Iorveth and Roche together when they capture Iorveth. This leads to them lying on the cot in the Stripes’ holding cell, spooning. There is banter and tickling and escapes not attempted and also maybe some sex with Inexperience Iorveth (i say maybe because I already started the sex, but idk if it will fit in).

Petals and Stripes

A weed is but an unloved flower

Okay, the Stripes are going to attempt to woo Iorveth during a battle. Also, there is a stabbing. And then a kidnapping. And then, miracle of miracles, someone actually tries talking!

One person's weed is another person's wildflower

Ves’s POV! She cleans up the mess her idiots make and terrifies the life out of one elven suitor, but first she’s gotta deal with her own conflicted feelings about her Boss, the guy she relies on to show her the shades of grey in the world, loving the elf she’s supposed to kill.

After that, I’ve got 2 more fics planned in this ‘verse. One is gonna be a fluffy and/or sexy date after Iorveth and Roche have gotten together. The other is a Scoia’tael side story, featuring lots of gossip about the humans sending their Commander love letters.

Love Shack

The Better Part of Valor

Ugh, I’m stuck on the sex again. Roche is having a really shitty day, so he goes to the cabin and signals Iorveth that he wants a round. Iorveth offers gentle (for them) sex and praise. And at the end, there’s a very significant scene where Iorveth removes his bandana. Roche buries his fingers in Iorveth’s hair, but doesn’t actually see his face, as he’s laying on his stomach with Iorveth on top of him.

Medicine

The morning after! Roche wakes up to find Iorveth in the bath, facing away from him, and notices a new scar. Iorveth has to deal with actually revealing his scars in daylight and they discuss the significant differences in elven and human medicine. Hint: I turned my own medical procedures into elven medicine, so it’s pretty fucking good.

PWP Ovi

Set ambiguously late, maybe after Thou Art More Lovely and More Temperate. Iorveth and Roche explore what Roche can take. We start with overstimulation, go into consensual somnophilia, come inflation, breeding kink, and oviposition. Because elves reproduce by laying eggs, which is not at all the case purely because I started this WiP ages ago and was horny.

The Picture Says It All

There’s going to be 5 more pictures that Rinn draws for Iorveth. Next is Roche hard at work, hunched over a desk. Then we’re getting some shirtless Roche, for “research”, of course. Then Roche cuddling with PT and the rest of the team, about which Iorveth is not at all jealous. Then a face study of Roche during a fight and uh, Iorveth is uncomfortably turned on. And finally, a drawing of their cabin with a silhouette in the window. She knows.

Roche & Rinn: The Haunting of Barrack 8B

Oh man, I really want to finish the next chapter, because I already have the one after that done. But first, we get introduced to Adda! This ‘verse is going to feature Adda the White a lot more than any of my others have done so far and I’m very excited. Also, Silas continues to be terrified of the ghost and the ghost and Adda become girlfriends buddies.

Roche builds Iorveth a home

Set late in the ‘verse, after Roche knows his feelings, but they haven’t said them yet (not out loud, anyway). Iorveth takes a trip to go meet Saskia do things off screen and Roche ends up turning to his old hobby, carpentry, to keep himself from pining too obviously. So obviously he ends up builing Iorveth a solarium. And a pillow nest. And a scaffold so that flowers that blossom in the moonlight cover the glass and give them privacy.

I got stuck here because Rinn needs to give Roche a hint to get him to build the pillow nest, but I hadn’t developed Rinn and Roche’s relationship yet, so had to go back and do that. But eventually Iorveth returns and they have wonderful I’m-not-saying-it-but-i-love-you sex in the new pillow nest.

Foltest (WiP): Long Live the King

This is actually the last fic in the ‘verse, so I don’t want to give too much away. But actually, I haven’t figured out what the next chapter is, BUT I have the chapter after that started and it is GOOD, just you wait!! I’m very excited.

Don’t Cry For Me, Temeria

This ‘verse alone, I have 14 WiPs and a dozen more unwritten ideas.

(Im)Perfect Strangers

I am frustratingly stuck on this chapter. Theoreatically, we are going to have a check in on how the mountain and the rest of our cast is doing and then Roche launches his Wooing TM plan (aka dinner, gift, and dancing).

Between Two Fools

Yeah, Roche and Iorveth have very different understandings of what their gifts represent. There is some soft happiness and then a swift rug pulled out from under Iorveth’s feet, I’m afraid. BUT we are almost to the part where the two idiots sit down and actually talk properly.

Unlucky Number Thirteen

Not only do I have more of Thirteen’s story planned, but I have ideas for ALL the Stripes to have stories. We’ll see how that goes. But for now, Thirteen starts spying for Roche. A lot of still-nebulous stuff happens, including Thirteen’s first time, for which he asks Roche to help. Additionally, once we reach the (Im)Perfect Strangers timeline, Thirteen has a special story all his own. It involves learning to read and a secret I shall not yet reveal.

Silas

Like I said, all the Stripes are hopefully getting stories. But Silas’s is coming along nicely. He starts a new life as “Silas”, as a man, and joins the army. Boot camp is rough and awful and he’s not very good at any of it, but one day, Roche comes looking for a recruit. He needs a codebreaker to decipher Thirteen’s scouting reports (another one for pictures). So Silas joins the Stripes, but he’s still terrified that they’ll fnd out and think he’s been lying to them. Fortunately, they’ll be putting his fears to rest.

Stripes Sex aka Earning Your Stripes: The First Time

PT’s POV! The Stripes (pre-Silas) are all still getting comfortable with each other as a team. But Thirteen has known Roche the longest and in a specific capacity. So one evening when he needs to get out of his head, Thirteen asks Roche to dom him. PT is confused and scandalized and then jealous, but he gets to join in soon too. Meanwhile, Finch and Ves have fun with their bratty arsonist and Fenn is loving it.

break (v /brāk/): to destroy someone's resistance

This is very long and entirely build up to porn. And then lots of porn. A question during a random conversation leads Roche to make Iorveth ask him to take Iorveth utterly apart in a consensual non-consent fantasy set when they were still enemies in the forest.

Bath House

This was supposed to be a simple PWP where Roche talks dirty to Iorveth under his breath while the two of them are at the bathhouse with Boussy (who LOVES baths and brought them to the fancy bath house), Anais, and Thirteen (who HATE baths and react to water much like a cat). They kinda took over the story and there has been no dirty talk yet oops.

Iorveth POV: Tutti

Iorveth begins to reclaim his love for music and lets himself improvise and compose again. And he ends up writing a song that is the story of his and Roche’s romance.

Daggers, Dumplings, and Dresses

The Elihal/Hattori side story! Though we haven’t actually met Hattori yet. So far, Elihal is expounding on his past and his relationship with Iorveth (he used to make all of Iorveth’s fancy gowns for concerts). Elihal and Hattori won’t play a HUGE role in (Im)Perfect Strangers, but they will be appearing!

Ves and Ciaran aka The First Rule of Fight Club

Ves is stuck walking a very long way back to Vergen with the memory of Ciaran’s skin against her teeth. And even though elves lie like breathing, she can’t help thinking about what he said about Roche not being worth her loyalty. Slowly, she begins to work some things out.

Sex with Saskia/Dragonfucking

Yeah, it’s what it sounds like. Iorveth tells Roche that Saskia agreed to a threesome and where to meet, but he neglected to mention the rather large dragon that was currently rimming his ass. Roche gets distracted from his confusion by the hotness and watches Iorveth get fucked by a dragon (with 2 dicks to fit 2 holes, of course).

Come Inflation + Piss Play

Um. Yeah, it’s a PWP where Roche asks Triss for a potion that will make him come a lot. And then Iorveth wants more. No idea where it’s going, tbh.

Stripes vs Scoia’tael: Water Balloon Fight

Literally a water balloon fight. For morale.

Baby Mama

Uh, the title is a bit telling here oops. But let’s just say Iorveth and Roche go on vacation to the cabin on top of the mountain again when Iorveth is hit with the sudden extreme urge to breed. Roche is down, but at some point, they do actually need to talk.

King Roche aka fics where Roche is in charge and hates it. Some are more in line with this than others.

Post W3 Becoming Terrorists Together

Ah yes, the murder husbands fic. Literally, Roche gets stuck leading Temeria under Emhyr’s orders and he’s good at it, but he HATES it. Enter Iorveth, who both points out security flaws, joins Roche for a surprisingly unawkward bath, and proposes that they go hunting down war criminals on their own time. How can Roche say no?

Pre-W2 Ambassadorial AU

Different first meeting AU! In this one, Iorveth is sent as the elven ambassador to Temeria and it’s about as much fun as one might expect. Triss and Roche, the other outcasts amongst Temerian court, decide to befriend him. Well, try to anyway. idk where this is going, but it’s been fun. Also, Iorveth wears a fancy braid over his eye, because I said so. Also, I might be planning an OT3 porn scene at some point, because it turns out, elves are VERY sensitive to magic XD

Leap of Faith

Okay, yeah, this has nothing to do with King Roche, but it’s the doc I was working in when I got the idea. In this one, a mage captures Iorveth for Foltest and starts torturing him. Roche, without really thinking about it, decides the mage goes too far, so he kills them. Leaving him with an elven prisoner and a castle full of people who will consider him a traitor for that. They escape the city, but now Iorveth has gotta convince Roche that no, the King really won’t forget that whole murder and prisoner escape thing.

The whole point of this fic was for me to write them jumping off a cliff lmao. When am I gonna get to that? Probably like last or second to last chapter, tbh. Which should be... after the next one? No, I lied, it’s next chapter! I need to get on that!

An ill-favour’d thing, sir, but mine own aka Possessive Sex

Piss Fic

Um. Yeah. Roche is really horny when Iorveth gets home and is on him immediately, which is great, but Iorveth has gotta piss. Which becomes less urgent as Roche is determined to have his face fucks, but after he comes all over Roche’s face, it’s VERY urgent and Roche is a fucking brat and won’t move out of the way. So obviously the response to this is to piss on Roche’s crotch - which Roche is apparently more than okay with.

Cum Dumpster Roche

Yeah, this one doesn’t have much yet, I literally just wanted Roche getting railed and claimed and L O V I N G it.

Possessiveness

Iorveth spends a lot of time thinking about his enemy, his nemesis. He’s researched Roche extensively, spent hours thinking up tactics and strategies to outwit his nemesis. He literally knows what Roche named his stupid weapons, but he’s never actually met Roche.

But he’s dreamt about it. The Roche in reality doesn’t look like the assumptions he made in his dreams, but who cares about looks? Because Roche is his, and certainly not some dh’oine king’s.

Tentacles + Breeding

Gods, this one is SO CLOSE to being done dammit, I just gotta finish it!! But it’s a fun one. Iorveth and Roche are fighting, when Iorveth suddenly starts fighting plants, which are fighting back. Then the plants notice Roche and suddenly he’s tied up with vines and his clothes are getting torn off and uh, he’s not supposed to find this hot, is he? But he really kinda does. And then Iorveth goes and claims him and tries to protect him from a nearly-extinct non-sentient plant that sensed a warm spot to lay its eggs until someone else could come along and fertilize them. Iorveth is delighted to be that person.

Dream: Pleasure Slave

Yeah, Roche really likes getting claimed in these. In this one, he has a favorite dream setting where Iorveth rules some grand elven kingdom and Roche’s only role is to bring him pleasure. Not to deal with politics or nobles or policy, but just to make Iorveth feel good. So far, this features cock warming, come inflation, a leather cock cage (so to speak), prostate milking, and a very nice silver chalice that Iorveth expects Roche to fill before they’re done.

Roche wears a collar

This was gonna be a simple lil thing based on me creating Roche in heroforge and giving him a lil hidden collar. But then Iorveth decided to get really sappy and had to design and create the perfect collar for his enemy. And then, much to his surprise, he gets the opportunity to PUT his collar on Roche. Which is great, except the sight distracts him so much that Roche manages to escape.

But the next time they meet, Roche is still wearing that collar, hidden under his chaperon and armor. Iorveth has feelings about that.

Standalone

Crones fic aka And Ghosts Did Shriek and Shrill

So this is the angsty fic that started from a crack premise. Er, one of them. I seem to do that a lot. But in this one, Roche goes to the Ladies of the Woods and asks for his men back. The Ladies agree, in exchange for 6 lifetimes of service. But no creature can reverse death. Which leads to the Stripes coming back to “life” as ghosts - only Roche is the only one who can see them. Ves can’t (not at first).

Believe it or not, the whole idea behind this was the Stripes roasting Roche as he tries to flirt (terribly) with Iorveth. But uh... somehow it turned pretty dark. Like, it’ll have a happy ending for sure, but it’s gonna be a lot about processing trauma and grief and building families and also curing a plague, because that’s the first assignment from the Ladies.

Stripes fics

Cuddles with the Commander

This is intended to be a sequel to The Pride of Temeria, but I kinda got stuck figuring out exactly how Roche should react. Tbh, I don’t have much of this written yet, but the goal is for Roche to approve cuddles with everyone lmao.

Fire Breating

Okay, this one started as crack purely because I love fire, but it’s actually been really fun. So, Iorveth and Roche are established and Iorveth has been invited to a family night with the Stripes, which is kinda a lil awkward. So they decide to showcase some of their talents - which includes Roche singing musicals and PT breathing fire.

Iorveth is horrified that humans have harnessed this skill.

Iorveth’s missing eye

This is really short and idk if I’ll continue it, but the idea was for Roche to really wonder what was up with the bandana over half of Iorveth’s face was about. And then, of course, to find out.

Iorveth Gangbang

Why is this under Stripes fics, you might ask? Well, I have great news for you. Guess who the gang is?

In which Iorveth and Roche are in an established relationship and Iorveth gets tied up in the middle of the Stripes’ camp while Roche orders his men to take him apart. Iorveth very much enjoys himself, and then when the Stripes are tapped out, Roche shows ‘em how it’s done.

Kink Bingo fics aka that event that I totally failed, but hey, prompts are prompts.

Age Kink

In this fic, Iorveth and Roche both end up captured by unknown forces and end up imprisoned together. I think the Stripes and Scoia’tael are probably working together to find them and save them, but in the meantime, Iorveth and Roche decide to get to know each other a bit better. Featuring muscle spasms, blow jobs, and pain kink.

Eskel/Lambert (okay, a little out of place here, but eh, it’s in the doc and I am still working on it)

Started for a prompt on tumblr, Eskel and Lambert end up fighting and, trying to keep the peace, Eskel casts axii on Lambert. Which leads to Lambert confessing that he bit Eskel because it’s the only way he could get his mouth on him. This leads to some dodged confessions, some frottage, and some snarky banter, because of course it does.

Tempt Not a Desperate Man aka the Fuck or Die series that started with Devour What’s Truly Yours

Fisting

The next part of the series, where Roche struggles with the fact that he’s been high key horny ever since the encounter in the woods with Iorveth and nothing is satisfying him. Iorveth, on the other hand, is jealous and annoyed that Roche keeps going to the whorehouse.

Then Roche decides to make a potentially suicidal move and enters the forest to try to find the clearing from last time. And, as you might guess from my heading, fisting will be happening.

Iorveth POV: The Chaperon

Okay, I don’t actually have much of this written, but it’s really cute so - Roche keeps using his chaperon as a cum rag, so Iorveth knits and/or sews him a new one.

“Human Bootlicker”

PWP where Iorveth jokingly suggestions Roche should surrender on his knees - and then Roche does. And asks Iorveth to take his prize. Featuring Roche coming all over Iorveth’s boots from getting his face fucked, then leaning down and licking up the mess while Iorveth watches and then comes over his face.

One Accidental Proposal and Five Attempts At Accepting

So one of the themes of this ‘verse is gonna be the Elven Baths where the Roses of Remembrance grow. As in, they decide to make the elven baths a place they meet up. This is the first time Iorveth takes Roche there, and Roche does not know what significance the roses have. But he DOES know that Iorveth blushes cutely when he tucks a rose behind Iorveth’s ear, so...

Iorveth would like to accept, only Roche doesn’t know WHAT he’s trying to accept.

The Legend

So in the game, there is a legend around the statue of elven lovers above the elven baths. “Legend has it the lover’s sighs are enchanted within these very stones, though only those in love can hear them.”

Iorveth overhears his Scoia’tael gossiping about the legend and comes to an abrupt realization that Roche and him were the ones they were hearing. Oops?

Standalone Fics

Letters

This is kind of a bittersweet WiP that I mostly wrote in one go and then went to sleep and kinda lost the will for it. BUT the premise is that post-Witcher 3 Roche is in charge of Temeria and his brooding is interrupted when he receives a letter sealed with a forget me not pressed into wax. Iorveth continues to send letters describing his life as a “civilian” in Nilfgaard and how much he hates it and Roche relates a little bit too much. Then Iorveth decides to run away and live on the streets as a musician and he might inspire Roche to start learning the cello and presumably at some point, they meet.

Identity Porn

Iorveth and Roche have a meet cute in Flotsam’s tavern while the elf is listening in for local gossip and Roche is passing through on his way to meet with the other northern kings to get support in fighting against the new emerging threat of the Scoia’tael. Neither knows who the other is, but that doesn’t stop them from starting a relationship where they meet every time Roche passes through Flotsam. But their house of cards can only last so long, and at some point, they will meet as enemies. Who knows what happens then? idk, not me.

Gwent pinup calendar aka Cards Out for Your Country

Hahaha, so I started this series in response to some WONDERFUL art of Roche with his Tits Out For Temeria. And obviously we need more of that, so I created a list of 24 characters who are asked to pose for some pinup art, all in the name of Gwent. So far, I’ve only finished Dandelion’s pose/the introduction, but I do plan to do as many of them as I physically can.

Gwent Game in Corvo Bianco

Wow, I didn’t even remember this WiP, so uh... clearly I haven’t worked on it in a while. But it’s Iorveth’s POV of how surprisingly comfortable he is in Corvo Bianco and Iorveth and Geralt get drunk and play gwent.

Zoltan/Jaskier/Priscilla

A giftfic for Wibbly that involves Zoltan being sappy about his bards and then Priscilla dominates them. Featuring all my headcanons about dwarven genitalia (two holes, one with a retractible dick).

Dijkstra fics

Noticing Roche’s Fucked Up Relationship

Anyone else randomly finding themselves shipping Dijkstra/Roche? No? Ah well. For this one Dijkstra observes Roche and sees a few too many reminders of himself with Vizimir, except Foltest is no Vizimir, and Roche clearly hasn’t learned to set up boundaries. Dijkstra feels weirdly compelled to help him figure that out before Foltest destroys him.

Developing Respect Fic

Also known as “let’s torture Roche 1.0!” This fic switches between the present, where Roche has woken up in a cell somewhere unknown and it brings back far too many memories for him to be entirely sure of what is happening when. In the past, he was captured by Redania while on a mission for Foltest, long before he was anyone notable. Dijkstra comes to visit, curious about this prisoner who refuses to break, to even tell them his name or confirm his country (but he has a Temerian tramp stamp, so they know lmao). So Dijkstra decides that this is not a man who will be broken through torture and decides to try conversation instead. The idea is to show them slowly gaining respect for each other, but like, obviously Roche is still a prisoner. Eventually, he’s returned to Temeria in a prisoner exchange, but meanwhile, in the present, Roche is all alone, with not even guards around and no way to free himself.

and that’s all!! I am... legitimately scared to count, tbh. This post is so fucking long, the number cannot be good for my heart. But, that said, please come talk to me about any ideas you find interesting!! Or anything you have questions about!

And if you made it this far down the list... wow. Thank you, you rock.

#rorveth #iorveth x roche #the witcher #don't cry for me temeria #wip wednesday #my fics #WiPs #yeah it's not wednesday but whatever i finished the list

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irwen-s · 3 years

Note

hello you're back! yes mood,, school started for me a couple weeks ago and ive been swamped but our little convos always help brighten my days ☺️

btw i must be on the same wavelength w the anon who just asked about a language offstage bc i was just thinking about that fic today after i reread the fansite gyulrom fic on aff lol. same with bunny's leap...i love ur writing and i would die for bunny joohyun lmao anyways i digress

back to the 2jirom brainrot...98 line are Soft and were each other's first loves so when they got together everything was so clumsy and a little awkward but it didn't matter bc they were learning how to love together

your saerom hc...pain. saerom was so happy for them (2ji were so obvious about their relationship even though they tried to hide it from the rest of the girls for a while) but there was this inexplicable pang in her chest every time she saw jiwon and jisun holding hands or smelled how their scents had started to entangle. she'd catch herself daydreaming about loving and being loved by the both of them and then chastise herself bc she was supposed to be their responsible captain and unnie, not let herself get caught up in these unrealistic fantasies. oh no sol have u sent us on the angst train

some more questions to ponder: did saerom finally crack and confess first even though 2ji were together already? maybe she confesses because she just can't keep bottling it up and wants to get it off her chest, totally not expecting 2ji to reciprocate her feelings. or do 2ji make a move first?

one more thing: what do 2jirom's scents smell like

ok i hope all the questions arent too much tell me if u get tired of talking about abo 2jirom bc i do have other Thoughts to put into your head

but in all seriousness i hope everything is going well for u sol!

- flover anon

oh no you have school too (　ﾟдﾟ) best of luck flover anon please dont die hhhhhh; im glad our conversations help bring you up though!! :D

ah . . . language offstage . . . bunny’s leap . . . all my damn history hshdhshjfjdf once i get through the last of my current prompts i think i might try to continue one of them .^. well see

okay but what gyulrom fansite fic i havent read Anything—

omg jisun and jiwon being unable to hide their relationship . . . like maybe jisun did try to keep up a semblance of professionalism but jiwons always been so affectionate and touchy and after one time jisun tried to create some distance between them but that ended up hurting poor jiwon, jisun just relented.

she ends up being the one who reveals their relationship to the rest of the members because jiwon walks in one day absolutely, completely smothered in jisuns scent

and meanwhile Yeah ive dragged us onto the angst train cause saeroms just a pining wreck dealing with too many conflicted emotions. i think she never plans to reveal her feelings and just keeps hoping theyll quietly die, but then at one point jiwon is just looking at her with the most worried, concerned gaze because saerom hasnt been herself for a long while lately, and saerom tears up and ends up finally spilling all of it out

as for scents . . . honest to god i am So bad at those kinds of descriptions hfhfjjdjffg like legit sometimes i just search up what perfumes certain characters use and then just go from there ｡ﾟ(ﾟ´Д｀ﾟ)ﾟ｡ if you have any suggestions flover anon . . . i am completely open to them

and yeah no worries! i enjoy the 2jirom conversation especially cause i really love this ship ahahaha; if i wanna change topics or something though ill be sure to let you know of course

#qs #flover anon #i hope everything is going okie for you toooooo #and that youre staying safe and healthy!!

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hongism · 3 years

Text

oh caly. i finally FINALLY read moc 40! literally seconds ago i just finished it!! i have so much to say but also nothing to say im so speechless??????? im sorry its taken me so long to read and send an ask i miss you dearly but life has again been busy and crazy rn and i honestly havent even been on tumblr much which is saying a lot bc im usually here 24/7 lol but anywaysss lets get into huh~

hi solar bestie im finally here eEEEEE sorry it took me so long but i’ve got some time today so im getting shit DONE!!!! but pLS never feel obliged to send asks, life comes first, life is more important, pls take care of yourself first and foremost!!!! okay ilysm bestie 👹💞💓

lord lets start with my feelings bc from the very beginning of the chapter my adrenaline was going, sis was on EDGE like i couldnt make my eyes move fast enough to read and let the break in take place!!! i legit was like clutching my pearls waiting for all hell to break loose!! the conversations y/n has with hongjoong are probably one of my fav parts of this whole story bc it just gets so raw like i love his character SO much hes honestly like top 3 fav characters in mists fr but like everything that comes out of his mouth i have like a guttural reaction to and its the best ugh!! okay so i took a few screenshots of moments i wanted to scream about and the first one was when joong pressed up against y/n to get her to phase through the door to unlock it idk man but that whole scene was fantastic and i liveddd!! just the entire break in up until her dream was just so fucking good like the writing sis!! ILL SAY IT AGAIN YOU MF QUEEN OF FANTASY AND SCIFI!!! no ones doing it like you!!!!!

feelings ! okay ! im GLAD THAT U WERE ON EDGE BUT IM ALSO SORRY!!! eeee it makes me happy to hear the emotions were written well enough for you to feel them like that aaaaa but hello omg one of your fave parts??? 🥺🥺 im so glad thank u :(( i too have an absolute guttural and visceral reaction to anything hongjoong does and says in mists too HAHHAHAH but fr that phase scene with them pressed up against each other mmmmmm yeah mhm self indulgent v needed eeeeee

okay now onto san. bc up until the past few chapters we all know ive been a hard hwa x yn shipper but ohohoho that has changed bc the reunion!!!!!!!! FUCK it hurt so good it actually had me crying like yeah i got tear drops on my phone!!!! also the heated convo with hwa after they got to the clinic yeah i FELT that it was so good

OHOHOHO another conversion to the moc san x yn ship :3 i’m guilty of actively trying to get more people to jump aboard the san x yn ship i’ll admit ✋😔 but TEARDROPS ON THE POHNE IM SORRY 😭😭😭😭 im so glad it was good tho thank u T-T

i screenshotted when yn went to se san after hwajoong left and when san was flirting with yn it was chefs kiss like mf could have been paralyzed and he was like ayeee shawty time for mouth to mouth?? just kidding…. unless🤪

HAHAHHAHAHAHHA PLS yeah i had to break it up in there u know me i love me some random humor 😌 you’ll be happy in the next chapter i guarantee 😏

oh and when san said “yn… my darling, come here” yeah i levitated. simple astral projected and screamed. that killed me in the best way

levitated. astral projected. SCREAMED! i love it that’s exactly what i was going for :3

AND THE LOVE CONFESSION??? ARE WE JOKING!,!,!,!!. I LIVED I LOVED IT WAS THE BEST LIKE I THINK IT WAS PERFECT! PERFECT TIMING PERFECT PLACE IT WAS ALL PERFECT AND I SOBBED I REALLY SOBBED!!!!!! ugh caly can you like, idk, stop one upping yourself with these chapters bc somehow they always end up being better and better i just. good lord thank you for your brain 😤

eHEHEHHEHE THE LOVE CONFESSION! i was SO worried about it being ???? im not sure, i was just worried that it wouldn’t fit or feel right in the mood or context but when i started writing it it just came out of me and just yeeted out there idek what came over me at ALL

as always, i love you so much!!!! oh and ill be sending a long ask soon about drag race bc i finally caught up on that too!!! - solar🌙

💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

i LOVE YOU SOSO MUCH !! pls remember to drink lots of water oki and don’t forget to eat heh i’m curious to know what you thought of the recent drag race eps!!!

#mists of celeste #moc: spoilers #solar🌙

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crystu-cii · 3 years

Note

Y E AH LIKE HELLO I NEED TO BREATH E

XDD YESSS-- YEAH FOR FREE-- we weren't even gonna GET a pet in japan but they found a post about her and were like "...okay fine" and she is so sweet 💕💞❤️💖💞💕💞 oms XDD mood-- oh so what you're saying is you should get a dog with the same color hair as you so you can't tell the difference? XD you'd have no problem with a little extra shed fur-- w h e eze true some people hate loud animals-- I don't, but I do have sensitive ears, which I.. did not take into account when getting a pet ;w;; good luck with getting a pet in the future!!! Again.. I recommend doggos--

XDDD it is SO TASTY-- it's got sweet potato mashed and mixed with brown sugar, with more brown sugar and pecans over the top, then marshmallows on top of those :3c

WOWWW HOW-- THAT'S INSANEEEE-- DAMN THAT'S SOME ROTTEN LUCK-- yeah school budgets? What's that XD yeesh tho that's some awful luck crys-

It is SO AWESOME-- But cRYsSssSSs Portal 2 has a co-op mode!!! And the puzzles aren't too hard-- you even have an in-game polite guide!!! Also I saw a thing today saying "so we obviously can't please EVERYone with a game but I gotta tell you I ain't ever seen a mfer complain about Portal!" WHICH IS SO TRUE LIKE EVERYONE LOVES PORTAL--

Yesss!!!! YEAAAA GLADOS SAYS TRANS AND ENBY PEOPLE ROCK AND ARE VALID!!!!!! I'd like you to know, when I initially discovered it, I had been trying to fall asleep and Couldn't so my mind was wandering, and I was like "....is there a Glados says trans rights thing on the internet?" and I was gonna do it in the morning but I couldn't sleep anyways so I just. Looked it up. At like 2am. Because it was That Important that I couldn't sleep until I looked it up(and then I fell asleep pretty fast, so.. hm--) XDDD

YEAH like wHERE ARE YALL-- XDD

Wellllll what are we supposed to do? Just move it to our dms? gestures vaguely to the length of theses posts You think discord can handle this?? It couldn't even handle me rambling about the cores with it's cowardly 2k character limit! /lh

aawhhh 😭💞💞💕💞💞

and PFTT that would be a lot more chaotic XDD literally right after i vaccum my floor in my room there many strands back on the floor anyway- gosh i have no clue whats up with my hair ;0;; and yeahh- my friend who used to be my neighbor had birds and they would ALWAYS make sound and im like "oh man-" xDD and the BIRDS WERENT EVEN FRIENDLY like- i was there when they first got the birds arrived to them and i was expecting the birbs to be nice but they legit repel from human contact- whenever i would stick my finger in the cage they would hang on the the opposite side of the cage xD so far i imagine they just let them live and dont interact with them at all- doesnt really sound fun to be honest ;w;;

and OOOO MAN that sounds so awesome :0 ooO i should also say how my dinner went yesterday, since it was kinda our belated thanksgiving- we got take out from a chinese restaurant! might sound a little sad that we didnt cook anything- but take out is a very common thing in our family xD and i FINALLY GOT MY CHEESECAKE I DESIRED YAAAAASSSS- and my bro also got cookies! (they were from a high quality place as well) and one of the flavors was pumpkin pie (the cookie even looked like a pie!) and i was happy cause that shall replace the actual pumpkin pie i also wanted xD and it was GOOD?? LIKE MOM- PUMPKIN PIE ISNT BAD xD so that was my night!

and LEGITTTT LIKE- oh my god i can LITERALLY go on and on about how horrible that year was from my previous year- and THEN THERES COVID TO TOP IT ALLLL OFF UGHHHHWUFOAJ

and WHHH IT DOES?? I thought that was a seperate game :OO and oHHH that sounds cool! and BAHHA- fACTSSS xDD and omggg i feel that- i would always search up random things of a fandom and see if they exist or not XDD IM SO GLAD A "TRANS RIGHTS" GLADOS EXISTS XDD i also actually do have a Portal instagram folder where i save portal related posts- OKAY AT THE MOMENT I AM WRITING THIS SENTENCE i looked back wt the folder (its the last one out of all my folders because i havent saved any posts in it for a LONG time) and there arent many posts as there are with my other franchise folders- BUT LITERALLY (ALMOST) ALL THE POSTS ARE WHEATLEY AND IM LIKE PFPFNTKAHFIANJD there were also some chell x human!wheatley there because the way people drew those two were in a very cute art style so i liked it- i hope me liking the ship doesnt sound too weird though- xD ;w;; bUt THATS my experience of being in the portal fandom(?) XDD

and oh yeaH YOURE RIGHT- i keep forgetting that discord has a character limit but at the same time it always gets me- whenever im trying to show my friends a fanfic i wrote discord is all like "IMMA STOP YOU RIGHT THERE" and its shitty- my friends dont even comment on my fanfics anyway- xDD

#the rambles of crystu

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softforcal · 5 years

Text

Writing Tips

I get a lot of asks about tips on writing so i figured i’d just make a huge ass post for ya’ll :)

this shit covers: character, plot, motivation, past vs present tense, 3rd vs 1st verson, oneshots vs multi chapter fics, moodboards for character building, dialogue, oc’s vs reader inserts, face claims, the grocery store test, the meme test

Character

okay i want to start by saying: i used to write imagines so writing in character was like MY THING for like 6 years so i have a LOT OF PRACTICE with watching something and picking up on characters and i’ve spent THOUSANDS of hours watching shows. so like, i’ve spent a lot of time on this you know? so don’t feel bad if you have a life and havent had as much practice :)

so at the moment, i’ve been doing character mood boards to help figure out a character? but the thing about that is im picky about face claims and it can be hard so this is an easily skippable option and i’m not even sure if i enjoy it yet you know?

so first: i think of a story. i think of the type of OC that’s involved, i think about what they’re like, (i sometimes find a face claim), i give them a name

for me, as soon as they have a name and sort of a face in my brain, they take on a life of their own. a character knows when you’ve found the right name and face for it and it comes alive when you do. like for me, Birdie was originally ‘Cherry’ but she was like ‘bitch no’ and wouldn’t let me write her until i found her name.

to be honest. i don’t plan things. like. when i write, the character just takes over. i have no control. they do what they want. fucking Valentina and Harry in Trouvaille, i had a whole angst scene for them and these assholes decided to go on the terrace and tell each other they like each other instead and then the story just ended. like. i had a pLAN and they RUINED IT.

you can’t be afraid if letting your characters do what they want to do. when you plot, a loose outline is good but i just throw my characters into a situation and see where they go.

like for my final gang au chapter, did i want Michael to leave town? no. but he needed to take Dove and get the fuck out of there you know?

i don’t make playlists really, sometimes certain songs stick to people, like one of my characters, his song right now is Girlfriend by Anderson East and that song was sort of inspiration.

I don’t know where my inspiration comes from. obviously i write a FUCK ton so let me see if i can explain a few past stories and where they came from.

Gang AU was born from a post by @hereforlukescruff about the song ‘Or Nah.’

Cromulent was based off a tumblr post about enemies fake dating

Wild one was legit just me figuring out how to work all of @glitterprincelus fav things into one fic

Floral was based off of looking at my favourite tattoo artists floral tattoos

Trouvaille was originally pompous New York! Calum but as i developed it, it was Harry and i couldn’t stop him from pushing Cal out of the way and being like ‘this is my apartment you wanker get the fuck out of here and let me smoke and paint in peace.’

Noise was originally based off an idea by @palliddark that i was blessed enough to receive, she also had influence in Cromulent because months ago she requested a post about the boys recording having sex for a song.

So i think what we’re realizing here is a lot of it comes through interacting with other creators. one of my new pieces is based off of 2 5sos songs and one is based off of a person in Love Island. so inspo can hit from anywhere

the fic im working on now came from me talking to @harryforvogue about the new Gucci ads Harry did.

i started a Greaser Cal that i dropped cuz im a whore, but it was inspired by @calsangel and hopefully it gets completed sometime soon

like. talking to other creative people is just a breeding pool for ideas. people you trust and love, people who you can bounce off of. listen for stories in music, study people and characters and who knows where it might lead you :)

i hope this helps. but yeah. my number one piece of advice: talk about writing, talk about stories, talk about the guys you want to write about and inspo WILL hit.

also to all the people i have tagged i hope you know how much you guys mean to me. like. i really appreciate all you guys do and how much support you’ve given me and continue to give me. i hope i can offer the same support in return and i love you all with my whole heart.

****** Moodboard and Character (final thoughts)

So basically since i wrote that OG advice, i’ve begun to realize: moodboards are a good tool because if you can easily come up with 9 pics for a character they’re pretty well thought out.

for example, my easiest moodboard to make was for Birdie in my gang au

Birdie: likes scrunchies, reading, classic stories, ice cream, bubblegum, lollipops, acrylic nails, having her hair in a bun

my worst moodboard was for a character named Annabelle from Noise

i started and was like... who is Annabelle: she’s blonde... she uhhhh is doing psychology?

and that’s all i could get because Annabelle was a mostly dialogue driven character with no actual mentioned likes or dislikes, in my eyes, Annabelle was not a well thought out character.

so moodboards can help because they show you how well you’ve got your characters figured out.

******

Plot

so plot is tough. i tend to gravitate more to character driven plot because characters are my #thing. i’m going to start by going through some of my plotlines and going over the good and bad and hopefully have an answer at the end of it after picking apart my writing. should be FUN.

long fic plots

Noise plot: Annabelle gets a new neighbour and he keeps fucking girls and waking her up and they have banter, he’s a hothead and invites her to psychoanalyze him and it leads to some tension but he is soft for her right away and they a little awkward with each other but finally give love a try.

Floral plot: would renowned tattoo artist Calum chooses a new apprentice, socially awkward and anxious Lily, they’re attracted to each other but the confines of a boss and pupil relationship are tight and evident, creating tensions. Calum struggles with being professional while falling for the cute apprentice, especially when pressure is put on them by their friends, after slow burn and anxiousness they finally get together.

Cromulent plot: Calum has a new PR relationship with Chlo and he hates her, he thinks she’s fake and does everything he can to piss her off, finally deciding to fuck with her emotions by being a GREAT boyfriend which ends up hurting her and he realizes maybe she’s not so bad after all, things are a little confusing but they finally sit down and talk it out and address some of Calum’s insecurities about her past relationships and PR stunts, they agree to give love a try.

so, from these 3 long fic outlines we can see i usually go for character based turmoil which works well for fics between 10-15k (or longer, Trouvaille fits this format and it was 19k) I just think, relationships take time and people struggle to figure themselves out enough to enter a relationship. if you have some fiery characters and banter (Cromulent and Noise) or perhaps awkward anxiety and tip toeing (Floral and Trouvaille) shit works out you know?

for smaller oneshot fics plots can be easier and more situational i think.

Movie Snack plot : Cal goes to Luke and his GF’s place for movies and Luke gets bored and eats the reader out in front of Cal which leads to sex.

Road Trip plot : Luke and reader are dating and on a road trip they’re horny but end up having to share a room with Cal who has always had a thing for the reader, smut ensues.

Stay Still plot : Tattooist!Cal is the readers fuck buddy and she goes to get her tits pierced, ending up with Luke as her piercer, but Calum shows up and angst leads to smut.

so yeah, for smaller 1-5k little smut pieces it can be more relaxed, smut is just smut, not love, and sex is a hell of a lot easier than love you know?

yeah, so that’s all my plot advice

*********

3rd person, 1st person, what the fuck person

when it comes to HOW you write your fic (what person, what tense, etc...) that’s up to you. it’s honestly whatever you feel best in. i’ve dabbled with a bit of everything. you just have to find what feels the most natural to you :) that’s the only advice i can give on this because no one thing is better than the other, it’s up to you.

one tip for 3rd person i have is to generally focus on one character. i’m a fan of doing the thing where for example, in Cromulent, we focus on Calum and why he doesn’t like Chlo. if we switched to Chlo a lot it would take away from the unreliable narration and bias Calum has. the good thing is to stay with Calum and be angry at Chlo and realize with Cal that she’s not so bad.

but that’s just me.

you can do switching when characters are together or on a phone call, like if you’re with Calum but he’s calling (for example) Chlo and then you want to see her reaction you can do

Calum groaned, staring at the ceiling, “bla bla cal saying shit”

“bla bla Chlo answering” she held the phone tighter etc...

and just like that you’re now with Chlo not Calum.

*********** OC’s vs Reader Insert

i’ll be real here: for some reason, i feel like reader inserts are more read on tumblr and i started out doing reader inserts to build a following.

personally, i prefer writing OC’s because you can go more in depth with EVERYTHING.

it’s honestly up to you what you want to do. i’ve decided to do my short smuts at reader insert and longer fics as OC but it’s whatever works for you at the end of the day.

***********

Dialogue

I’m a fan of dialogue driving story, Noise was so much fucking dialogue it’s insane. finding your characters voice is important and sticking with that makes a huge difference. if you’re character can kind of be seen based JUST on what they’re saying, thats a good sign.

i hate to say it but imma say it: when doing 5sos it’s important to know they’re Australian. some countries have different mannerisms and such, for example, i’m Canadian but i can’t have Calum out here saying “it’s a nice day eh?” you know? so, i would advise to try to get a handle on accents and word choice specifically to make them more believable. as is said in the iconic movie Tropic Thunder

***********

Motivation

so this is probably one of the biggest issues writers are facing and i’m about to get REAL AS FUCK.

on tumblr, it can feel like once you gain a following you CONSTANTLY need to be pumping shit out for them.

back in the day, i was posting a HC a day and a lot of it was for hogwarts!5sos. it felt like a job, which wasn’t anyone elses doing per se, i just think a lot of fic writers get caught up in this pressure whether it’s imposed by anons or not (im lucky that i’ve never had anon pressure and i’m very grateful for my amazing followers tbh)

Tumblr is not a job. if you’re writing, write for you. you are blessing tumblr with you’re writing. please don’t feel pressure to put stuff out or write a new chapter or anything.

if you ever feel like you’re under a lot of pressure, take a few days away, find the root of your writing joy. always do what you want to do. if you have to turn off asks to feel sane, do it. if you gotta block mean anons pressuring you, do it. you don’t owe anyone anything.

your writing is a gift graciously bestowed on this hellsite and this site shouldn’t make you feel pressured to write and give content FOR FREE. it shouldn’t make you lose your passion and make writing feel like a chore or job.

motivation can be hard. i’m a fucking psycho so don’t use me as a base for what you should be doing. i put out a fic a week which i really shouldn’t be doing, it’s not practical. but i can type fast as fuck and writing 1 or 2k in 10 minutes is normal for me so don’t use me as an example you know.

go at your own pace. write what you love. write au’s or for the characters you love and hopefully the rest will come.

******** Multi Chapter vs oneshots

ok more realness, pros and cons of each

oneshots:

pros:

-its one and done, no need to worry about putting out more

-they can be fun

-it’s all in one place which a lot of readers like

Cons:

-can be long af

-take longer to write since a oneshot is probably like 10+k depending on who you are as opposed to perhaps 5k chapters of a multi chapter fic

Multi Chapter

pros:

-people are excited for more

-cliffhangers are fun

-people interact with you more about chapters to come

cons:

-more pressure to put out new chapters

-with each new chapter you’re probably losing likes because people get bored or forget about it because people sometimes don’t have the attention span or whatever to continue reading whenever you update

-usually tend to be longer than a oneshot (5k chapters means that in 2 chapters you have probably surpasses a oneshot length of 10ishk)

So i will be real. i prefer oneshots. i adore my gang au which was long as fuck and super multi chaptered but it’s tough to see the likes go down and down. plus, i wrote all of Penumbra (the main multi chaptered part) before i started putting it out so i had no pressure to write more cuz that shit was done before i started posting.

which does help. if you want to write the whole thing before you start posting it takes off the first con but you’re still left with the other 2.

**********

Face Claims

i feel like for some characters they’re born without a face claim but i totally get it if you want to use a face claim before you even start. finding face claims can be hard so you have to get ready to go creep on insta and look at models and figure out who you like. a lot of insta models follow each other so once you find a model you like, look through their following list or recent likes to see other models.

another thing you can do is go for brands or photographers who link their models. Fashion Nova for example, if you’re scrolling through and like a girl the link is there. and the same goes for some photographers. there’s a lot of accounts that are just for hot girls with links to their instas so (even if it feel weird) you should go check those out :)

******

The Grocery Store Test

next, for making characters, i think for me name is a big part of it. once a character finds their name that character comes alive in my mind. i was thinking about this yesterday and i said to myself, ‘you know you have a good grasp on your character when you can imagine them in a grocery store and know what they’d do.’

for example:

Birdie (from Gang AU) would go look at nail polish and candy, Luke would legit have to put her in the cart to get her out of there and if there’s a book section? good luck man

Valentina (trouvaille) is just gorgeous. she and Harry would go and he’d push the cart and she’d have a nicely written notepad of things to get and she’d look so pretty, head bowed, crossing things off, and Harry would be such a melt for her. he would crash into things cuz he’s so busy paying attention to her. she’d be a fan of picking up boxes and reading out nutritional values just to point out to Harry that eggos are not good for him.

so, Valentina and Birdie are probably my best OC’s if i’m being honest and because of that, these were easy.

now, take a character i didn’t work on as much and suddenly it’s different

Annabelle (noise) never really talked about anything but school and shitting on Calum so, i mean, i guess i can think of what she’d do in a store but.. like, i’d have to think about it you know?

so to me, we can see the difference between a fully fledged OC and one that needs to be worked on.

but, Noise still got a lot of likes so i dunno, i’m just self critical i guess.

i think, when it comes to characters, everyone has flaws. Annabelle is too critical of Calum and has a stigma about wealth, Valentina… she’s flawless not gonna lie but she’s a little too afraid of stepping on other people’s toes and she should probably be less anxious, Birdie is way too sentimental and cries over everything, plus she’s way too trusting and naive at times.

it’s balance. but once a character is born in your brain, you just gotta give them love and hopefully others will as well :)

*****

The Meme Test

my most recent advice is: if you can meme a character or dynamic between characters, you know you’re gucci. imma leave a meme here for a fic i’m working on and ya’ll will have no clue what it means but whatever it’s a point

*****

so hopefully this has answered any questions you have. this is all just my opinion and if you disagree with what i’ve said thats chill. at the end of the day this is what works for me and i urge you to find what works for you. there’s no one clear way to write.

good luck writer bubs :)

#writing advice #writing tips #tips #advice

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fuzzbuns · 4 years

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Im in a bad mood because american education system is hell so im gonna ramble about stuff no one cares about for that sweet serotonin aka atsutodo* tho really just Mr Atsushi... Sir Joned arbuck-

*?... like i mean its lowkey atsutodo i will not front but realistically speaking im just gonna talk about thier relationship and whether you see it as platonic or not it is up to you but like just know in my minds eye MY GOD these bitches GAY.... good for them tho... good for them

I just legit don’t understand people who either think/ characterize atsushi as someone who is mean or doesn’t like todomatsu. Like the only person who legitimately should ever feel that way is totty but we will get there. like, i get not everyone stans atsushi and has been following him ever since that one tweet after ep 22 where he is shown baking a totty themed meal (srsly look at this. the second i saw this tweet back in like 2016 i was like “oh i love this dude”)

LIKE.... LOOK AT THAT.......

Ok so back to the point : like i get most people do not care to keep up with the guy who had 19 seconds of screen time in ep 22 LIKE I GET THAT but literally the very second you look at his characterization in literally anything it is just so clear that he genuinely likes totty and seeks out his company!

And like i know some people saw how totty reacted to him in the movie and went “uh.” But you guys are literally forgetting that todomatsu is a matsuno.... plus totty literally tried to maul his own siblings? IDK to me it just kinda shows to todomatsu clearly feels close enough to atsushi in order to treat him like his siblings because totty is the kind of person who values what people think of him (including atsushi. In ep 7 season 2 he literally is apologizing to atsushi even when atsushi isnt even there which means he clearly cares about whether he is on good terms with him or not) so like....? If he really didnt like atsushi he just wouldnt hange out with him. He just got pissed off,,,, not very deep. Plus atsushi didnt even react.... which to me is just like.... he is close enough to totty to know he is dramatic and is use to having totty be a drunk menace to society. Also? People think he was being mean with the whole ‘neetville’ thing WHICH LIKE..... WHAT ABOUT IT.... like im not even convinced he meant it like that but even if he did, he is just teasing them....it really not that deep..... it is one negative interaction out of the many postitive ones they have had and its is mostly totty who is making a stink (which is a common theme.... BUT THAT DOESNT MEAN HE HATES ATSUSHI WE WILL GET THERE)

Back to atsushi, i feel like seeing him in highschool made me kinda get his character more (tho its just my interpretation so idk. I literally do not know how they characterize him in tabi or the spin off because i just havent seen translations for that stuff? Tho i know i heard that in one of the tabi events he was in people said he was nice to totty (aka he was a good guy... like we have known this.) but thats like.. it.) We barely see him talk! He is super quiet! Which is... going back to the last part.... kind makes the lines he has make sense? I feel like he isnt really the best at taking the lead in conversations and isnt really even that good of a conversationalist but he knows what people what to hear so he just says that and it usually works out fine? Like he can fake it well, like when i write a paper and think “idk what im talking about” and then i get it back and the prof is like “wow..... this was.... breathtaking...” like thanks my head is empty! idk if that makes sense but he just seems like the kind of person who was forced to get good at conversing when he finished highschool in order to network and shit but like deep down he would rather not. Like he is friendly! He has friends and he likes being with them but i feel like if it was up to him he would be a bit more reserved. And the fact he likes totty kinda speaks to this?

Before we get to that i should probably prove he likes totty but i feel like it is so obvious i shouldnt have to..... he set totty up with the girls in ep 7, he apparently goes to the gym with totty every now and then and like. Looks forward to it. The hesowars sprite where he is waving totty as if totty was some kind of celebrity (in front of the girls who clearly dont want to see him. Like atsushi is so oblivious to the fact the atmosphere is awkward because he is too busy being.... gay??? Sorry homies i decided it is gay.) also the offical art of totty and atsushi on a totally-not-a-date.... even if you take the subjective gay subtext i put on there off its still obvious atsushi and totty hang out and atsushi puts effort in in order to do so. I feel like the fact he is still in touch with totty after highschool speaks to just how much effort atsushi put in to keep him around because lets be 100%. Todomatsu seems like a NIGHTMARE to actually have a stable friendship that lasts more than a year with. This is the guy who literally does not get the concept of friendship... and yet here atsushi is.....very much being his friend

I feel like unless you are someone who is very good at reading inbetween the lines/a good listener, it would be impossible to be todomatsus friend just because of the front he puts up. I honestly think since they are highschool friends, totty doesnt put up as much of a front with atsushi cuz like... he saw totty at his most baby..... like you cant come back from that. But totty puts up fronts even with his own siblings so he definitely still has to put up some kind of front with atsushi. So i think atsushi being this quiet kid in highschool gave him the skills to deal with totty. I KNOW THAT SOUNDS MEAN I PROMISE I LOVE TOTTY IM JUST BEING REALISTIC. when you arent doing the talking and you are just listening and taking in what people are saying you start to pick up on a lot of little things. And because atsushi knows what totty was like in highschool i feel like he genuinely understands todomatsu as a person. Like totty can act self assured and dismissive but we (and atsushi) know that deep down he really craves affection and validation. Which is why atsushi sticks around with him and even goes as far as setting him up on dates. Atsushi is a quiet dork at heart. I will not budge on this.

So like where does the asshole rich man idea of atsushi even come from?? Because atsushi isnt really like that (tho i will admit it is very funny... rich asshole atsushi is very funny i can not lie)? The line about him having a car never came off as snobbish to me tbh it just seems awkward (like you know... a quiet kid who is forced to converse). Remember how i said we would come back to that? We are finally doing it. Todomatsu matsuno has too many insecurities and he projects them on the people around him. Notice how we always see atsushi from todomatsu perspective! Totty see atsushi as the guy who always one ups me and takes girls from me.... the guy who said neetville,,,, the guy who likes to look down on commoners..... but .... totty isnt a reliable narrator. Todomatsu has a hard time seeing other people as being genuine because he himself cant be genuine. So when atsushi hangs around him, he assumes that he must be looking down on him, because why else would someone like atsushi wanna be around someone like totty :( (i suggest “because he is gay” but like-) i think totty genuinely likes atsushi but he is so self sabotaging that he cant accept the idea that anyone who knows who he is could ever want to connect with him so he tries to keep atsushi at a distance and lashes out whenever atsushi unknowingly proves his warped perspection of him (an asshole rich guy) right because the idea of someone using ur misery as entertainment is upsetting to say the least.

Its 2020 and i cant believe i just rambled about atsutodo but i was thinking about atsushi recently plus...... i dont keep up with the oso fandom but i saw shit about people who thought atsutodo was.... bad??? And like I genuinely just cant see how you could get to that conclusion? It doesnt have to be ur thing but to reach and say its somehow “Problematic” ??????? The only messy thing about it is just totty being a matsuno like..... atsushi is genuinely such a chill guy i just... its not clicking for me.

Anyway atsushi is a dork man. Quiet highschool kid rep. Coconut head king. jon arbuckle. And if he wants to hold hands with todomatsu matsuno?? Who am i to stop him.... insert image of fma love is love thumbs up

In fact after all the effort he has put in? He deserves to hold his hand..... AND TOTTYS HAND DESERVES TO BE HELD/??/

Ok i have work to do bye

#fuzzy rambles #im suppose to be writing an paper on stress #but i got so stressed thinking about it i decided to talk about atsutodo like a loser #also forgot to eat dinner so im gonna do that

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mikkock · 4 years

Note

Uhm??????? Unacceptable?? Please tell me more about your OCs in that last art? I demand it? I want a full report on my desk before morning? Cite your sources please?

Oh no,, you’re asking,,, about my own faves,,, sorry to everyone, but I guess im never going to shut up ever now. (i already don’t shut up ever, what have u done, im now going to speak so much that society will collapse AT LEAST)

But for real. I enjoy pretending I don’t have faves, I love all my kids the same, buT WE ALL KNO THAT’S A LIE, those two my fave bitches (they snatched that title from the last two faves, rip to them, and they also snatched, n I must really make that clear, the title of “the bitches with the most AUs from the previous previous faves. Their power.)

SO. Get ready for a ride, table of content: them, their respective character, their story, and the pLETHORA OF ALTERNATE STORIES I GAVE THEM because i must yell about all the versions of my kids i have (non-exhaustive cause its that serious bro, but ill take extra time for the universe depicted in that art just for u bby). (tbh if clamp is allowed to sprinkle their fave gays in all their universes so am i, except they aint secondary characters there, every story is just theirs. love that concept.)(itll be so long you’re getting a whole novel even if i have to post it in two posts)

So~ Em twos. Dari n Wei-wei as I call em, or Dumbass n Egg if you wanna get friendly.

They’re my proudest instance of “oops i made a squad of characters, and two of them just accidentally were so perfectly compatible and complementary oh no I guess they’re in love now.” And then they became my favourite. Cause I guess their potential was too much (jk its bc they hot)

cuties.

I spent ten minutes wondering which to introduce first cause dang son, I want to talk bout them both so much shefjgfdg

First, as I technically designed him first (like ten minutes before the other), my man weiwei. if u ever saw my art its impossible that you havent seen him at least once. cause i’m legit always drawing him. cause im in love bro.

Demonstration : here are my computer scribbled weiweis of 2020 so far (with a few daris there n there they’re a package deal), that i could find, and they do not include all the paper sketches that i’m too lazy to take pics of. (i just been drawing him with so much hair these days that’s illegal, his brand is baldness)

But anyway, he’s CHEN Chia-Wei, he’s 21, he’s Taiwanese n I love him. Two very important facets of his character when you meet him: he doesn’t talk, and is absolutely, in every single dimension, built to make you fall head over heels for him.

He’s (in the “canon” storyline if i may call it that since it’s def not my most developed one but oh well) an art student, mostly paints but is also great at photography and videography (his vibe is busy hectic pieces with strong bold colours, lots of harsh edges, and very people focused).

Aside from that, he’s also super into fashion, and because he’s part of the rich boy squad (the “im broke so im giving half my characters wealth in compensation) he Can and Does exhibit some quite funky fits when he feels like it. (maybe a reason I draw him a lot, since my fave thing is pretty boys in weird ass clothes)(and then i also draw him in just casual shit cuz tittiful men in plain white tees you know. there’s just something about it.)

Small compilation of outfits. ft me and my band handwriting roasting outfits that id also kill to own but ok u know.

He digs music. (i make playlists for my OCs and i gotta say, his is the best one, i spent so many hours researching it, “arranging” it etc n its still a work in progress but dude. she got many moods my fave part is when it suddenly turns into so many cheesy ballads also she’s enormous cause im as wordy in playlists as I am in writing.) listens to a lot, n also he can play piano n guitar. cause you know. heartthrobs got to win your heart with a song (and if he’s alone he can even mumble some songs, who knows maybe even sing em softly, definitly a sight to stumble on accidentally). Big main artists that have his vibes are Hello Nico, No Party for Cao Dong, n Circa Waves’s “what’s it like over there” album.

He does a lot of sports. He ain’t fit through magic, rip to him. He’s got a serious routine, and it’s a time he likes to use alone, cause nothing like running at the break of dawn, alone with your thoughts, which you can just easily forget through the exhaustion of a workout session afterwards.

he also eats. A lot. Food is just good, bro. (the canon story is def happening some place europe aka his biggest struggle is how expensive food is here. outrageous.)

He secretly loves super cheesy movies. the dramatic romcoms??? the cute shows that are just so cute and worriless?? anything involving soulmates??? yeh dude. he watches it, he reads it, he listens to it, and he may cry about it, but no one will know. That’s the one true guilty pleasure. (and he definitly has a collection of romance dvds, books n manhuas in his old room back at the family home. where no one can see it. perks of studying abroad. no one can see ur hoarding of material that clashes your image. “yes i watch edgy experimental things haha yes i love those smart people movies of course wow the philosophy…” and then immediatly goes to watch the trashiest predictable but oh so sweet dramas all night)

While he doesn’t speak (as in with the mouth) he can communicate in a bunch of language, due to having moved around quite a bit. On top of his native mandarin and hokkien, he’s fluent in English, so he can use those to write, and is also fluent in TSL, and pretty good in HKSL (and from that, other close-in-syntax sign languages). So he doesn’t have trouble getting around, but then he is also overall quiet in public (with close friends and over text though, that’s another story, that’s where he gets chattier, and also where you may get more of his true personality). Also, he can speak with his sister. That’s pretty cool bro.

I was going to say he’s a very “hides his true colours under a shell” type of character but you know, for an egg character, that’s pretty ironic. We love poetic cinema.

He presents himself as a very laid back, chill detached dude, going with the flow and all that great stuff, and masterfully mixes just the right doses of mysterious, flirty and calm to just go around vibing. But ain’t that jUST THE MILLENIAL’S ILLNESS, those dANG KIDS, going around, gettin relationships but never intimacy 👏😢 (there’s more to it dont leave)

First of all, before you see the Drama, the Turmoil, the first thing you notice when you really do befriend him is that he’s c h i l d i s h, he gets sulky when things dont go following the plan, he gets whiny n jealous for not getting attention , he gets competitive over stupid challenges, and way too playful if you start teasing, and when he gets flustered too…you think you get cool stoic dude but actually you get a dude who’s reacting to things with way too much intensity, and boi i thought u were gon be mature what’s that why have you been pouting for three days over losing a bet come on- That’s mostly coming up when he interacts with his sister, but the closest you are to him to more of it you get to see.

He’s also an affectionate dude actually. Like physically. As in you’ll get spontaneous hugs. He’s come nap on your shoulder. That’s a perk of befriending him if you ask me.

Also he tries to look so cool, so tough haha. He’s actually a lil sensitiv boi. he gets fluffy, he gets flustered, he heart eyes. you turn around and he’s gazing at ya as if you were the whole universe. he gets a mini crisis for holding hands with his crush. ya know. he’s secretly a softie.

nerd.

Then in the “what he doesn’t show” (my fave part), where you stock all the anxieties, all the trauma… Obviously there’s a lot of anxiety here (selective muteness being a symptom of it, he hides the other ones very well) mostly fear of inadequacy, of abandonement and of loneliness. mmmmmmmaybe that’s why he was v reticent to continue pursuing that one guy he was into when he realised he was just a tad too into him oh no is that some,, like?? some lovey-love?? cant have that im afraid of gettin heartbroken bro. Aint that sad for a someone who’s one true goal is just findin someone to love and to be with forever, the struggles of yearnin for a soulmate when there’s nothing you fear more than getting attached to a person and letting them see you and your flaws.., delicious.

Now tho (because its so alone speaking about a character on their own and i just wanna get to the part where i can speak bout em together and how they bring out bits of each others ya kno, the good kush….), Dari…

He’s pretty, i must say, and got the funniest hair to draw, and comes from the most opposite background to weiwei’s.

Darian Andriev PARVANOV, also 21, comes from the remote Bulgarian countryside, but i still love him (this makes it sound as if i wouldnt normally love someone from the bulgarian countryside. its not what i meant. by default ud remind me of my son so you’d start being liked if u came from the bulgarian countryside) Now for the first instance of “wow, the complementarity”. The first thing i thought making Dari was that he looked too cool, and that he obviously was a dumbass, and mostly that he was physically unable to shut up. (o fuck he’s me)

best picture i could find of him. He’s got the dilemma of “wow he looked so pretty n cool until he opened his mouth”

He’s ALSO an art student (cause they were initially created for the purpose of filling the gap of “i have ocs in every field except the one i sorta know that’s so stupid”), painting major (def vibes differently than weiwei though, he’s doing those soft pretty landscapes n flowers, everything real pretty and peaceful, we got some impressionism nerd in here folks).

He was/is a real country boy, farm family, he helped tend the fields, he worked in plantations for pocket money, he knows how to take care of cattle and chicken and goats and all the cool babies you can take care of, he can tell whether the soil is good or not, he can drive a tractor, and doesnt fear dirt.

but then also he’s kind of a neat freak, he hates getting paint on himself, so the duality of man, dirt ok but paint? disgostin. his spaces are real neat and spotless, he likes cleaning (its relaxing) and does it nearly too often.

his dumbassery comes from lack of common sense and impulsiveness, aside from that he’s actually what you’d call “mad smart”, dude had em good grades, he can memorise pages upon pages of the most trivial information, he has an accumulation of knowledge beyond limits, and is good at problem solving. so he can recite all the words of the F letter of the dictionnary, but would also put a curling iron in his mouth to see if it would curl his tongue. (side note, he does have a problem with heat n fire, most his “oopsie how i wound up hurting myself on acccident” story involve burning -that stove was just too tempting…)

while he doesnt feel very attached to his home country, he does feel strongly for his family. he’d do anything for his mum (and actually does everything to make her proud already, that’s his one main goal), and he’s ready to sacrifice a lot for her (as in, spend years working non-stop a really uncomfortable job so his mother wouldnt have to pay a cent of his expenses even though she said she could by doing some sacrifices herself,and then being ready to come back as soon as needed if anything happened, and potentially drop his career and dream n go back to the farm life to provide for mama)(also he still does hold onto some parts of his home country’s traditions, and does sometimes feel homesick but more in a ‘i left the most beautiful landscapes n the city feels cramped and claustrophobic and i dont know people and i dont feel in the right place cuz im a forreigner with a thicc accent who doesnt master the language of this place and straight up have different body language communicators due to cultural difference oh lord i wanna be home where a nod means no and a head shake is yes i keep misunderstanding everything”)

if you want background noise he’s the perfect pal to call over, he’s just so chatty, he got hours and hours of non stop speech ready for you. you can shut him up once you’re done listening with the offering of food. works everytime.

he’s definitly not shy. neither in terms of talking to people, nor when it comes to making decisions. he’s quite bold, and rarely hesitates to go towards something he wants. he’s direct in his approach to most everything.

he likes partying. mostly the socialising part, talkin to people is just fun ya feel. and being in the crowd, doing whatever, pressure free? ya can dance n enjoy yourself, and people wont notice? yeah that’s nice. but doesnt do it super often cause broke bitches aint got the party time n budget.

he likes arm. (just an excuse for me to drop this thing here cuz i like it)

While he’s an overall bubbly looking character, with a cheery loud personnality, he does carry some youth trauma that has him more reticent to engage in happiness, he comes from what you could call “not the wokest background” and he may have fallen victim of it : he’s kind of a flashy noticeable character, both physically and in his personnality, and doesnt exactly matches the expectations of dudes in the area he comes from (delicate, emotional and sweet guy? that doesnt exist bro). He went through it, and it has definitly had some impact on his confidence in many aspects. But he’s 100% the type of guy to put on the fake happy front because if feeling bad is sad, making the people you care about sad for you too is Unacceptable Right??? relying on friends?? what???

But then what are we supposed to be doing with such charming characters huh,,,

Make them fall in love obviously.

Their story obviously has to do with falling in love and workin a relationship cause if I dont write romance i literally die, but I make the center pivot of all of it communication, and barriers in communications. Most obvious being them coming from wildly different cultures, having different native languages, and also the ways you adapt to muteness (what i love most bout that part is even then they fucked up given the easiest quickest small body language things to communicate are head nods n then i managed to make one come from the one country that reverses those like iconic how do they even understand each other -through a lot of work and love bro) but also on more “introspective” points, how to say things that you are even afraid to think about, how to open up and share your burdens and trauma with someone, how to say words you’ve been convinced you weren’t allowed to, the inner turmoil of communication in short. And then also communication through art, and through alternative unusual ways. If i were snobbish i could call it something like “a thinkpieces on how humans overcome obstacles in communication, and adapt, all for the sake of pursuing love” but fact is its mostly boys being in love n learning how to speak, figuratively and also quite literally. And also its me having fun with making characters evolve from each other, be able to influence each other for the better, helping each other be more comfortable with themselves and express the true things of their personnality, and discover new aspects. I just wanna write intense and soulful love bro.

So in less concept and more facts, weiwei meets dari, dari being his puppy self just immediatly strikes a conversation and weiwei gets interested cause “oho nice pretty boy? very good. i want some of that”. they get closer because you cant fight off the Power of friendship (and also the power of “what your friend is bestie with my friend?? guess we hanging out”) and then friendship and interest turns into pining, held back by respective dread of what romance with the other would mean (as in “romance?? cant have that we cant feel” and “with him?? cant do that, convince yourself he’s just a friend immediatly what would the family think”) but eventually they do have to just crash into one another cause that’s just the gravitational pull bro, its physics bro. and from then on its all unlearning destructive behaviours, bettering oneself with the help of the other, and getting over trauma to finally live ur best life. and gettin fckin married bro they’re both cheeseballs theyll wanna wed

BUT MAKING EM FALL IN LOVE ONCE ISNT ENOUGH time to make 3894853 alternate universes about em.

Lets speak bout my fave of those for a hot second.

First of all, the one of the art that brought this ask, guess i could call it “Pretty Tribes” AU, bunch of tribes live and do their things, having nature and energy powers. Dari n Weiwei’s tribes are bros, the latter’s powers needing them to move around to get energy from different places, enabling them different abilities. So basically they get to hang at the other’s place while the regenerate energy from there, and in exchange they help them out with various tasks (dari’s tribe is a rly farmer oriented one, with plant magic, while weiwei’s got more poyvalent powers, and have very good healers notably, so it comes in handy). The two boys were born a few months apart in their respective tribes, so naturally, anything the two clans meet, they’re put together to play and all, and from that they became besties, and each time they meet, after the gaps of time separating the two groups, they feel more and more of a little something else~ story is themed round growing up, friendship between clans, their traditions and cultures, and pretty boys in pretty clothes in pretty landscapes interacting with nature.

The superpower AU, i fuckin love it bro. Its an old one, made for other characters, but i just love it so much that i had to inject my faves in it. Its got a grimy ugly setting, bad government, propaganda, and fights between super-people (heavily mediatised for entertainment and reinforcing the idea that “look at these evil villains thank god us the good government protects you from them”), with a side of bad ethics in science. In all that, those two have the role of “those two young enemy warrior and villain, they were so powerful and fought so hard”, public figures, legendary and admired by both sides, everyone followed their fights, til one day they presumably died in one of their showdowns. (haha sike they actually found themselves talking for 5 seconds and realised they lived in a society, n built a plan to run away). The main characters get to find they’re alive because one of em had history with super-warrior-golden-boy and go to seek their help to overthrow the Big Bads. (stealing them from their nice gay cottage hermit life smh so rude)

Mermaids. I like those. Sailor weiwei sees merman dari, they both save each other in different occasions, they grow fascinated with each other, they’re at sea, water romance. Amazing. AU made half cuz i just like water n fish. and shirtless sailors.

(i couldnt find art of it in five minutes so have a link to that lil animatic piece i made of it once)

Indie band AU, where i was listening to songs that vibe so well with those two in general n then my brain was like “what if they’re the ones playing”. They’re (along with the rest of the art squad) a nice little alternative rock band, doing their thing, then one of their songs blows up, and they get quite the attention, to the dismay of dari who wrote that song in a moment of “oh no im so in love with my bandmate but i cant tell him what if i ruin everything we have going on ill just have to love from afar and deal with that” and now has way too many people interested in who he wrote it about and theorising from his every move when performing it (a mix of music, secret crushes and social media) (ft a picture of neither of them but its the least ugly art i found of this AU cuz its old and instruments are the bane of my existence)(also kelana is so pretty i gotta flaunt her around)

in kind of the same vibe, as in we’re in a music world overexposed to social media, i also integrated em to an AU i did for fun, “boyband AU” as its called aka idol based band system cuz you kno, i got a hobby, lets apply it. Band boy Dari and bodyguard Weiwei got a thing going on, but can’t really act on it in any way, because they’d just destroy the whole band if it ever came public. Featuring annoying bandmates, catchy pop songs and people making fanaccounts of that one hot Mr.Bodyguard cause dang he hot.

(all the art of this one so ugly im sorry)

SPY AU, one of my fave brand. They spies, they get assigned on the same mission, they work real nice with each other. spies hot. fights. strategy. i just like the concept. Gays taking down the worst traffics imaginable??? I love that song.(i actually have so much on this cause s p i e s are fuckin great)

Fashion. U kNOW i have an AU for fashion. Supermodel and his private stylist, trying to maintain the line of professionalism. And failing to do so. Lets make out in unpractical designer clothes.

Have an highschool AU for a bunch of characters, injected them as “spinoff”, start chatting online being art buddies, fall in love without meeting (ft. all the iconics of internet friendship like knowing tiny details of their personnalities but not the fact that they have a sister or “waIT ur a GUY i thought u were a girl wow wild good news for my gay ass”)

n those are my faves as far as i remember, i got a fuckton of small other ones that arent fleshed out enough, or some that are more of a guilty pleasure universe, and some that are more like “projects that i can expend on as soon as i run out of daydream material” (like u kno those hospital drama shows with super innacurate medicine n shit like idk scrubs or whatever, yeh i want some of that but im keeping it for later)

#thats way less talk than i thought id do #prolly bc i wrote half of it when it was between midnight and one AM #wait no it was 2 am #but ye #sry if shit messy af #those two are my faves tho n talkin bout em on the spot is hard cuz my brain is screaming about everything bout em at once #if u wanna get more info on em do ask i love them so much n i feel i didnt do em justice here cuz speaking is a fraud words dont exist #im glad they caught ur interest tho #nothin more gratifyin than not being the only bitch who likes his own children

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lizzodorito · 4 years

Text

quick vent

because i legit have no where else to put this sort of feeling and just.. writing it in a book or a doc just... isnt as cathartic. Hope this just fades into the void, please dont bother reading it.

Hey. screw proper grammar and spelling I just need to get thihis out.

my name is liz and hoenstly fuck this website because last time i actively used it for something other than mandolorian memes or sims mods/cc my ex boyfriend was fucking stalking me on it and catfishing me and comfort me by sending me those ask lists and i... i dunno if im over that. Fuck you Sven.

not the point, just wha t I have to think about every single damned time I find myself here no matter what.

I am so lonely. I dont have many friends at all and the ones I do are out to use me or not Get Into It with me, thouhg fair because im a shit load of a lot to deal with i guess. other friends i have are pretty backstabbing and they refuse to properly grow up and LIVE and THINK FOR OTHERS AND ALSO THINK FOR THEMSELVES WITHOUT IT HAVING TO BE DEFINED BY HOW PROUDLY TERRIBLE THEIR MENTAL HEALTH IS FUCK

And then i get shit for it

love being used guys hell yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah no i dont i hate it so much literally when was the last time anyone loved me right outside of my family and even so its not like my parents treat me well. mother you may have improved drastically, but similar to my self esteem, its still very much BELOW PAR and i hate having to witness both.

I am so lonely.

I go so long without saying any word sometimes, its a wonder i stil breath, although sometimes when i was young id forget to.

why is it that i get more depressed when i come back to the family home

does anyone else understand being family oriented to a family that really for the majority doesn’t treat you the same?

The voice in my head wont stop. it wont stop telling me all the ways i have potentially fucked my budding friendships with my new friends isha and matt

how am i a person who shares so little yet so much

BUT MY LORD THANK YOU these are people who... who are considerate and are processing what i am saying and are thinking of me

but how fucked up am i

and will that push them away

im often distasteful but all the same complex and layered and so useful and so interesting

and that’s why often enough it seems people dont put in the effort, or frankly, dont give a shit about me once i requrie effort, though their “care” for me beofre then was only for their own benefit.

im exhausted

One of my best internet friends was raped and i was the one who revealed that to her and she just didnt realize it yet and i havent been able to fall asleep without thinking about it

i have needed to cry for over a week now and i haVent gotten to still i am so sad i am SO SAD

I am so charming yet cannot help being alone no matter how enjoyable i am for others to have around

Matt

He makes me question if im asexual

But I am only a human

porbably deifntieyl still asexual

but too much all the same

Im just lonely and touch starved probably (more than usual to be clear) and want to be hugged and loved and he’s so smart and we talk for hoours and comfortably, for me, occupy eachothers’ space we talk for

hours.

this is becoming poetry.

I feel like i am beginning to sound like a hobo johnson broken record

stop being poetic fuck off liz

he;s so

I havent been hopeful like this in people for a long time

we went to a museum to support isha (she had to do a project that invovled socializing so ya know the inrovert crew (though i dont know fi matt considers himself one)) and we just were togeter (in rather close proximinity) just speaking in accents, partly hoping to excite the strangers crowding everywhere about “foriegners” being here at the exhibit... but i think it was mostly just for us. for our fun

because voices is what we like to do

i love voice acitng

he committed to it, i fell out of it more times than he did and he gets more specific with accents than i do

he likes what i do

he loves the characters and my many talents

he loves my writing

he wants me to join his dnd campaign over the summer with his friends

is it for me?

does he want... me

or just my character maggie that everyone loves

he wants me to join the campign he’s in npw with his friends, as he’s a player character and not a dm as he would be over the summer

he doesn’t quite get how lonely i am

i worry i made him and isha uncomfortable last night... i joked about actually being loved properly

he immediately looked at me strange, me not realizing the joke was taken as truth

“Liz, is there something you need to talk about?”

“Oh! Oh, well, um...” hi i come from an abusive family and you both dont realize how much it meant to me that you wanted me to come and are consitently telling me and thanking me for coming because... you’re telling me im good company and its been so long since i have had real friends or gone out with friends and ACTUALLY FULLY AND COMPLTELY HAD A GOOD TIME OH MY GOSH YOU DONT EVEN KNOW I AM SO SHY ABOUT ALL OF THIS BECAUSE HOLY FUCK I CANT EVEN ASK HOW I BECAME SUCH A BASKET CASE BECAUSE I ALREADY KNOW I ALRWADY KNOW I ALREADY KOW I ALRADY KNOW AND I HAVENT’ GOTTEN TO REALLY TELL ANYONE IN SO LONG WITHOUT THEM LEAVING ME

its been so long since ive been understood by a peer

(hi my name is liz and i am weepign right now)

“No, not yet at least.”

*isha laughs and it joined by matt soon. I’m smiling comfortably. I genuinely have a soft, contented hope i might get to tell them at least some of it one day.*

“not yet at least! sorry matt you have to be at least a level 4 friend to learn the tragic backstory”

thank you isha for lightening the mood

thank you for making the joke so many people who gave less than a fuck about me got offeneded at and confused when i made it so often years ago.

my comment was laughed off, we continued to watch the critical role espidoe i had missed

soon it was just matt and i. isha was to bed.

just him and i, and i, like id been all night (concious but making the decision to pipe down and trust the people around me), was all curled up, very relaxed and off my posture, sinking into the couch. MAtt was always upright ish. sometimes hed sink a bit or rest his hips on their side curl a little rest his head, but not as intesely as i did

sometimes he’d scoot closer to me, sometimes hed scoot away. sometimes hed move his legs so our knees would touch. i dont mind (not because i was finding it romantic, im not twelve, i just am understadning of the small situation we are in and its a knee for crying out loud) i wonder if i was taking up too much space with the way i’d sit comfortaly. I wonder if he thought so.

i would be lying if i said i didnt imagine us actually having contact with eachother. cuddling platonically.. on multiple occassions.

I have an imagination that thinks of everything and so many scenarios all at once and all the time after all

i was comfortable with the idea but

it would be a bigger lie to say i wasnt absolutely and perfectly content wiht the way it did go.

i dont thiink i will ever know if he was comofrtable on that couch or more so if it was me he was comfortable or uncomfrtoable with.

I will respect him to tell me.

he;s good at eyecontact and its comfrotable enoguh where i dont have to look away (it’s been a problem i never used to have recently)

I’d peek up at him when he’d talk to me

i felt young again

when the stream was over he got up to leave.

i dont know if we daudled. dawdled? yep thats the word

i dont know if we did

we made small talk

shitty jokes that he declared wouldn’t be the last thing we said to eachother that evening

i agreed.

the last words that night were goodnights.

me with my raspy evening voice from a day full of talking and him with a look over the shoulder from the hall as the door closed behind him

he was obviosuly very slap happy sleepy as he was talking about the light not being too bright in the hall (to his happiness)

it was a nice night

when was the last time i went to bed so happy? thanking God over and over and praying for my friend i mention way earlier

i didnt even have to drown my insomnia with a youtube video

i just went to sleep

2 am

i hope the weather continues

- jaques cruzio, pink panther

now im just in bed

at the family home

not my dorm

fighting my depression (its been three hours, i was getting exhausted by 9:30 due to it) as i rest

i was curled in a ball, slumped and face planted, arms slumped when i decided i need to talk to someone, or say something mroe than what i vented to my little sister (small bits about how lonely i feel and how i worry ive fucked things up) hours ago

and here we are

12:14 am

just some broken twenty something asexual with a mind that’s usually over sixty talking about the amazing people i met two weeks ago while in the background i think about the girl i used to be the boss of (online moderator work) and how she’s essentially in love with her idea of me and how i make her feel... and not just for me.

i am mysterious and cool and smart and hot and talented and useful to her.

I want to be complex and dedicated and helpful and pretty and so skilled and hardworking and wanted for me.

i want to be considered and deserving and im hoping that isha, matt and my other two roommates can help start to fill that hole in my life

because, God, so far they have so much potential for it in my eyes

(so far)

thanks for listening, void.

actually feeling quite a bit better. the misery is still lingering, i wonder if i should cry more. But, i can breathe easier and my eyes dont feel dead. I just am tired and am prepared to enjoy things again.

proabbly will watch claire from BA make jelly beans.

or the Noel Miller guy isha told me about.

I dont know if it’s appropriate if i downloaded matt’s contact into my phone from when isha put us both in a groupchat together and i hope its not weird and i hope maybe he did the same, but by God i dont think i’ll be texting him first.

i like in person better.

with anyone.

always have

i have so much more on my mind

#me

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chaekkung · 6 years

Note

o wormie? u? in a lot of love? perfect i don't think i've asked u yet but (if ur free) could u talk about why/how you started loving changkyun/hyungwon (or both :-D) ?? pls ramble as much as u like!! read more exists 4 a reason and . i love reading ppl b soft and in love it's cute!!!!! i love u have a good night/day ! 💛💛

o holy shit thats a lot ok im gonna write about changkyun since i Havent... :( and ill copy pasta one of my hyungwon essays for u to read!!!! the changkyun will be under it :^) this is gonna be Super Long im sorrie in advance LMAO BUT HAVE A GREAT DAY/NIGHT TOO!!!! :D (also theres prob gonna be a lot of typos bc im Dumb but.. bear w/ me)

mister chae:

honestly i don’t even know where to start?? uhh i guess with his looks first since,, this is describing or smthing,, anyways yeah hyungwon is just… fucking beautiful. he has the most handsome and visually attractive face ive ever seen in my whole life??? and i’ve stanned a lot of groups in my past before but hyungwon is honestly one of the best looking man i know :( im not even being biased,,, anyways yeah there’s that. and he’s like naturally a model, i mean he can legit wear anything and do anything and he’ll look like he’s posing for a high end magazine, not surprised if he’s been modeling since he was like, born. also he has the most beautiful and endearing smile and laugh…. when he smiles he really goes from :o -> :D like!! please!! you are too fucking cute,,, :((( he really lights up the entire room solely w his smile im jusT?? wow?? like when his smile lines by the sides of his nose down to the corner of his mouth come out i just,,,, really… need 2 calm my heart. he has like the closed mouth wide smile, and the straight up whole face smile!! and i.. love both.. so much,,, and yeah anyways his lips are like the first thing people notice about him and big mood?? they’re so plump and … kissable.. and soft.. but my favorite feature on him are his eyes tbh…. idk he has really beautiful eyes? idk how to describe it but like, they’re so…. kind? and bright.. it’s just i want to look into them all day long and im just… so in love with his eyes. like,, they really hold all the stars in my universe wtf!!! :( OH AND I DONT TALK ABOUT THIS ENOUGH BUT…. HIS EARS ARE SO FUCKING ADORABLE WTF I WANT A MOLD OF HIS EARS ON MY DESK,,, idk about others but i personally find his right ear cute as fuck?? like the extra folds in his ears.. i would d*e for them………. godksj why is everything about him so cute i just?? want to kno …

ok now im going to talk about him!!! so his personality, is what i really fell in love with,, (god this all sounds so.. cliche. but it’s.. true, also unrelated but every time someone talked about,, love cliches and shit i was always like ‘sounds fake’ but???? after hyungwon i really?? believe in all of that..) if i had to use one word to describe him it would just be ‘kind’… like he!!! is!!! the king of being considerate and compassionate and wonderful and he’s just a really good person.. :( he’s the one you can always count on and lean on. he’d always be on your side and makes you feel safe and comforted,, like he’s really full of love??? even the members said he’s a really good listener and they chose as him as someone they go to when they’re feeling down because he makes them feel better about the situation (god, i wish they were me,,) and he has the most beautiful heart… like, he’s been wearing the Sewol bracelet since as long as we’ve known and he has never missed a day. you can always see it during fansigns, vlives, whenever he’s out, and he even wore it when he was modeling under his clothes… :(( he went from the charm, to the rope bracelet thing, to the clip on and now he’s wearing the wristband!! :(((((( he says he will always wear it to remember the incident, and he has been for over two years… he’s doing it out of the kindness of his heart and not to show anyone… he said he felt so helpless during the time, and watching every thing unfold before him, and has worn the yellow bracelet which symbolizes ‘hope’ :((((((((( god,, real emo hours,,, i love my angel so much wtf !!! ok next,, (sjdhaj at this point im going to write a whole novel wtf but im gonna,, stop soon i swear .) hyungwon is really fucking hardworking and ?? he’s so dedicated to his career and making sure that we, his fans, are always satisfied and proud to stan him.. like he’s constantly saying he will work hard to show us something better next time, that he’s not going to stop trying to improve himself. every single stage he puts his all into it, but he pushes himself even more to show us a even better one. he’s always worried and thinking about his career as an actor and a singer. he wants to promote the group in any way that he can, whether it’s through modeling or acting :(( what a King… he’s… really always striving to do the Best and he won’t ever settle or be content with it because he’s just naturally an ambitious and super hard working person… like. he’s so dedicated to what he does, no matter what it is. uhh one more thing he’s actually a really sentimental guy!! not like in a bad way, but in the best possible way. he’s really sweet, and gentle.. (he would be the Best Boyfriend,,, im just saying..) he’s the type to give handwritten letters… and surprise gifts.. (he said so!!) he said he cant cook but he want to cook for his gf he will try his best and it will be full of love… god.. i wish that were me. he’s the type to keep quiet… but take silently notes on what someone likes/dislikes, and will reveal it unexpectedly with a gift or when he says something and it will! make the other person! so happy! :((( he doesn’t put his emotions Out There, he’s not rlly good at it,, but he honestly has so much love in him,,, he tries his best to show it ok!! it’s,, good effort it’s so cute when he does… ah.. pls.,,, he’s always like ah, i don’t know if i can properly show my appreciation and sincerity for you guys, but i hope you guys know how thankful i am for you. LASDHFJAK GOFD,S,,,, IM FUCKIGN EMO THINKGIN ABOTU IT AGAIN… HE HAS A HEART OF GOLD AND HE’S SUCH A SWEETHEART I JUST WISH MORE PEOPLE WOULD SEE IT.. :(( HE DESERVES ALL THE LOVE IN THIS ENTIRE UNIVERSE AND I REALLY HOPE ALL MY LOVE FOR HIM CAN COUNT AS SOMETHING FOR IT ALL.. UGHFJASHJSAALSJF yeah ok let me,,, stop… sorry to everyone who has to scroll past this LMAo,, :(

ok i was gonna stop but i forgot to mention how he’s so fucking talented!! i mean this boy does it ALL. the whole package or w/e. god,, i love my whole ass talented man wtf! he sings, dances, choreographs, models, acts, DJs, is multilingual, and a world class poet,, cmon. ANYWAYS he excels in all those areas nd,, no argument there.. his voice is angelic as fuck ,, just like his personality.. and his dancing.. god,,, like . his dancing his so on point, his every move,, and it’s so.. fluid.. and natural. and it’s harder for tall people to dance esp ones w like long ass limbs (hyungwon.,,) but he still looks fucking amazing and pulls everything off so perfectly????? gofdj,,, can he like . Stop being so…. perfect.. and lovable… :((( he just puts so much passion into everything he does!!! and his heart is pure Gold ,, i just.. love him,,,,,,, everything about him …. ok lmao let me stop !!! if u actually read all this wtf,, im sorry nd i’d die for u

mister changkyun:

okay wtf icb i havent talked about changkyun that much on my blog.... anyways this is gonna be a mess and unorganized bc im Dumb but here goes,,, ok we can start from the beginning kinda,, so originally wonho was my #2 bias and then mh i think like i love changkyun but i wasnt like IN LOVE you kno?? honestly i started to notice him more firstable bc he and hyungwon are so frigging cute together?? i just couldnt ignore it and next thing u know im IN Love w my lil koala :(((( hes sO CUTE ..... LIKE.. IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN IT I REALLY JUST WANNA BE AROUND HIM ALL THE TIME!! his sense of humor and his personality in general is so?? positive?? and fun??!!! like i would spend every second of the rest of my life w him... and he’s so cheesy as we all know ,, and i find it so cute but also he makes me so stressed bc he’s so mushy aijsdgfhdjs but he rlly Love us wtf.. and hes so funnie... he makes me smile and laugh all the time :( and he genuinely Loves every single one of his fans so much... he’s so sweet with them and he makes them feel so loved and special, and like they’re the only person in the world at that moment :(((( this boy gives so much love and i only want to give him a million times more back...

HIS LAUGH.. OK.. HIS LAUGH!!!!!! MAKES MY HEART MELT LIKE LAVA WTF SJDFUDJS HES SOSOSOSOOS CUTE WHEN HE LUAHGS HE LIKE.. PUTS HIS ALL INTO IT.. IT SLIKE HAHAHAHA FR... PLS,,, ESP WHEN HE GOES CRAZY AND ALSO STARTS CLAPPING,... LMAO MOOD.. HE SOS CUTIEJUJIiajsdfudj and WHEN HE SMILES THE CLOSED-MOUTH-WIDE-SMILE AND HIS CUTE ASS DIMPLES COME OUT.... HOTLT FUCKIDUFD THERE GOES MY SOUL AND GALLONS OF HEART NUT... ITS THE CUTEST SIGHT IN THE WORLD AHHH HIS DIMPLE ARE ADORABLE AND HIS CHEEKS!! I WANT TO SQUISH!!! i wanna . reside in his dimples. build a home there and alll....... omg.. :’(( every time he takes a selfie or smthing i rlly Lose it. every single selfie is his Best selfie. wtf.... king of angles fr... AND KING OF FOOT SELFIES TOOOSJFDK LLISTEN AGAIN HES SOSOOSOSO HANDSOME AND GOOD LOOKING OKAY!!! HES REALLY A VISUAL?? IDK HOW PEOPLE CANT SEE IT BUT LIEK THIS BOY IS F I N E ..... HIS FACE IS SO BEAUTIFUL AHHHhhhHHHHH AND HE NEVER HAD A BAD ERA.. HE WAS HOT SINCE NO MERCY WTF !!!!! UGJFSUJDJS I HOPE HE KNOWS HES FUCKING BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!! :( ANF HIS BEAUTIFUL NOSE,, AND HIS EYES!!!! OGM!!,,, GOD AND HIS PERFECTLY SHAPED LIPS.... HSI JAWLINE,,, BITUCSHJ,,,

OK HES SO LOVABLE IN EVERY DAMN WAY LIKE,, he’s Weird but its a cute Weird he’s so special omg there’s really no one else like him :(((( like...... he’s a treasure fr... he’s So Many things and once its hard to pinpoint his personality but like ??? i love it so much?? he’s a mystery and i dont know what he’s thinking like most of the time but.. i rlly love him omgdsj he’s so special :’( like fr !!! everyone LOVES him!! :(( most people wouldnt see him as the maknae if they dont Know,, but like he really is... and he’s really mx’s babie :-( they spoil him so much and love the heck out of him,,, he’s really the most loved maknae out there wtf... honestly... i love family... they really Adore him so much ugh what a big ass fking MOOD! :((

AND HIS VOICE!!!!! THE VOICE OF THE HEAVENS AND ANGELS AND HAPPINESS AND ALSO NUT!!!! WTF!! HIS VOICE IS SO SEXY AJSDFGDUJIS LIKE... PLEASE... NARRATE THE BIBLE TO ME HOLY FUCKSIFDU, YOU KNOW HIS VOICE ONLY V LIVE... HOLY SHIT MY EARS NUTTED SO HARD omg.... i just wanna listen to his voice All Day.... and dont even get mee started on his rapping .... he starts his bar and sets me on fucking fire w half a syllable . and did i mentioned he fucking amazing at rapping yeah . he Does That. and hes so charismatic, especially on stage... :((( ugh omgfisjd i wanan d*e when hes being so h*t on screen fucksdf,,, and like . his mixtapes he’s working on... king... pleas.e.... End me. just end me with ur talented ass wtf...

SIJDFJD I NEED TO SHUT UP BUT LISTEN IM SO PROUD OF HOW MUCH HE’S GROWN IN THE PAST 2+ YEARS... LIKE HE’S COME SO FUCKING FAR!!!!! IN SO MANY WAYS!!!!!!!! GOD,,,,, I LOVE HIM SOSOSOSOSO DAMN MUCHSJIDFUDS HE MAKES MY HEART CONTINUE BEATING... THATS REALLY MY BABIE !! MY FUCKING CINNAMON APPLE!!! :(((((((((((

ok let me stop thank u,,, also... if anyone actually made it here hi wow uh ur great ily wtf :--(

#replies #im SO SORRY TO EVERYONE WHO GOES ON MY BLOG ON MOBILE #DIJFDJS.KFDHJS...#THERES NO READ MORE ON THE MOBILE BLOG LMAO RIP #i tried to keep it short but yeah #omg #fuckashdj I LOVE MY BOYSDHFD BTIR!!! :(((

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actualbird · 7 years

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you've recced my fics pretty often and I legit cry every single time. u interacting w my fics is one of the first times a writer /I/ adore/look up to has enjoyed something I've written, and it helps me a lot to feel better abt my writing. tbh every time I update I look forward to if u comment. also, i love ur dootdootdoot posts bc 99% of the time im going through similar things and it's nice to see someone feeling the same way (esp with ur writing updates l m a o that is some RELATABLE CONTENT)

dhfkjshfdkfhhh I!!! LOVE FANFIC!! SO MUCH!!!!!!!! i love reading and reccing and commenting but i havent been able to do it as much and im happy it makes u happy!!!! if ive recced/commented on ur fics, i probably adore ur work!!! i love!! fanfic!! im hollerign tho bc my talk tag is a mess, especially my posts about writing, but i guess the writer #mood is being a perpetual mess omfg

im rlly glad that i was able to add to the happiness of writing. the whole experience is all over the place, but i truly believe there should be joy in it. this made me really happy

#asks #anon #ask meme

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ghostantine · 7 years

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ALRIGHT HELLBLAZER

Holy shit this arc is good. I think i said the same thing last month but HOW IS THIS QUALIFYING AS 16+???? This is legit some original Hellblazer level stuff which was 17/18+ for a GOOD REASON I mean im not complaining and im positively surprised. To be honest this is the most Hellblazer run of any John Constantine comics in a LONG while. I know i was saying so with the previous arc as well but this is.. MORE, especially with the general tone (and less fear machine omfg).

I didnt post caps today cos i had HARD TIME PICKING THE BEST ONES! I wanted to post full pages but it’s hard to get them well from the app to tumblr.

okay enough hyping up, so why do i love it? I love it’s cos it’s gritty, gross, brutal and dark as fuck but doenst make it cheap. It’s also very true to characterization, the general mood and perfectly catches some nihilistic dark but playful humour of John and Hellblazer in general. it’s sad but also calls out john for what he is. It just in general lives up to Hellblazer and feels like one of those spin off books.

To get to specifics it circles around John in London and his little drunken adventure in a bar that has been renovated from it’s old punk infested den. We got the old fling and the John has disappointed storyline. things go pear shaped... BIG TIME. Those associated with John are effected cos some little gang of bumps in the night wanna challenge the drunken cocky excuse of a magician. (hire me write descriptions or maybe not)

But this issue we got back stories: PUNK JOHN being a loser. current stories with sappy john spiralling to sewer of gin. It made me care for the little introduced old relationship and made me really sad. In a lot of ways, storywise, this reminds me a bit of City of Demons book.

Honestly I havent been this pumped up since i was reading actual Hellblazer.

#took me a while cos i got tired when i came home #idk if this makes any sense omfg #i just really love hellblazer rebirth atm #it's nasty as fuck just like i love my shit #I need to post stuff off it #and to think i was REALLY NERVOUS about this arc with tim seeley #BUT HE'S DELIVERING ALRIGHT #the hellblazer shit

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hbiynxgiyizc-blog · 5 years

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survivormarmoreal · 5 years

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Episode #1: “"So it's time for me to channel my inner-straight guy!" - Brian

is it time to die already? a fake tribe was taunted, the tribe is split half US half europe so that is going to be a pain, its 1:40am as i write this and in all honestly i just want to sleep and coast till merge. bet that won't be happening tho RIP me and dig me in a grave huh. Oh and I thought I knew the keaton but I didn't lol. I am MESS

It’s really good to be playing a game again. My goal for now is to try and bond with my tribe and hopefully make alliances to keep me in the game. Right now talking to Dennis. He seems really cool, wouldnt mind working with him.

So just from the start i can already tell these players I'm with are easy going for the most part... I over all really like the tribe and can see a very solid chance that I can work with a lot of them if not all! But for the sake of this confessional having value... I'd also like to add that I'm worried that due to the laid back tribe (atm) that I might have a hard time building the connections to get in an alliance without making it due to the fact making an alliance is a very bad idea early on!

Okay so let's just get some thoughts out of the way My tribe is...interesting. I LOVE BRIAN. Well actually I love his boyfriend but still a great foundation from my side to work with him because I know he is a super sweet guy. Dennis is weird. I want to work with Nicole just because I like to work with womana because it brings me closer to God. Everyone else is irrelevant. Absolem is okay. Nathan is hilarious. He better not flop because I want to be best friends. Annabelle is the love of my life. But we did just play an ORG together that got a little messy...so idk how willing to work with me she is. Jayden said things about sports so there is no chance of us being friends. And...everyone else is irrelevant. Madigan: I stan Matt. He had the best intro out of all of us. He's a nut and I love that. I thought I knew who he was...but it turns out he's a different Keaton...and now I'm confused by the popularity of that name...Anyways, BC be still my fucking heart in an ANGEL and I want to be friends. Marie is a star in my ORG community and I always stan her. So I lowkey love this tribe and I wish i was on it. Overall...I'm ready to get this game going.

Okay so i'm normally super good at Selfie Scavenger Hunts...but this one is tough. There are a lot of hard items on here. And because it's Day 1 I don't know if I can rely on anybody on my tribe to pull their weight...guess we'll find out.

Okay I jumped the gun on Dennis. He's not weird. And he seems like he'll be a good tribe member. Not too interested in working with him, but hopefully we win a bunch and that won't matter.

so the cast is cool so far from what i saw a mix of a few faces i recognize and a few i don't which is cool because i play best when i don't know anyone i think so we'll see how this goes hopefully we win immunity and there's nothing to worry about!!

Okay so I really might have judged my tribe too soon. Charlie is a drunken riot. And Maynor seems really chill too. We have a good group. Now let's just hope we're good in challenges.

First impressions: jayden: bad music taste but likes tea kind of hard to talk to but i will get the best of him annabelle: league player?? we stan!! nathan: played once before him dont remember if we were allied but um likes drag race wooh ignored me to go watch it https://66.media.tumblr.com/0640fc1858852ee803cc45252f782259/tumblr_pk6xsgLbtq1szcwcho1_1280.png cole: said "omg ur the cole from skype love ur lipsyncs" they said yes. turns out thats not them. why lie??? nick: seems fun idk

I think my tribe is very cute ! I can already see that a couple of them are big suck ups but I hope I can use that to my advantage. I low key want to go to tribal council but I think the safest thing to do is try our best as a tribe for this first challenge and not seem weak! So I will try my best

So yay Selfie Scavenger Hunt. My favorite... I should be fine if I play a solid social game and dont score too low (right?) Also me and Nick same tribe we runnin this shit.

I like my tribe so far it's the most active tribe I have had by far. The challenge is pretty good though and I hope we can win it and be safe.

So day 1. This is... ahh... I'm so nervous for this game! I have been looking so forward to playing this, but I just feel like it's going to be a rocky upward battle to make it deep... I'm trying to relate and talk to these people, and I feel like I can maybe do it with some of them... but I also know I'm like "WIGGG" and "TEAAA" and "SHJDGJHDGJ" all the time, and I just don't know if this is the tribe to act like that around... I also don't really have anyone to fully confide and trust in. I do have people like Marie on the other tribe, but I just... ahh....

Ladies and gents, I want you to know that I refuse to go home pre-merge, and I will fight tooth and nail to make it to merge and then day 39... even if it requires me to grow up and act like a real human... I will do my best... I don't wanna let y'all down, but I also don't wanna let myself down.

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So like after my antics last night, I feel like I am in a good shape. My intro amused many on my tribe which is good, and they all like me, which is EXTRA good! I feel like im on the cusp of something atm, but i am still wary of course. BC and James are my faves atm, with Marie and keaton also. But Marie, Keaton and john aren't really giving me anything but i am still gonna try. Im here to F****** win (or at least make jury but we shall see about that LOL)

this tribe in a nutshell me: "alright guys! super excited to play some Survivor with you all!! woohoooooo lets do this yeah!!!!!!" BC: "yeah!! I also like to do the surviving!!!" matt: "yeah LMAO" keaton: "..." marie: "..." john: "...okay but have you considered: Skyrim"

idk what's up with this tribe. am I setting my expectations too high? did I do something to piss everyone off?? I just want to play survivor but no one seems to want to engage with me.

BC's the only reason I'm sane atm. he's a sweetheart, we've had a few fun chats already and he seems like good company. we've gotten on the same page and realized that we're probably the two chattiest players on the tribe and should stick together. Matt isn't awful. he's funny, and I can just meme at him most of the time and he seems fine with that. wish I could get a little more out of him though. I'll give Marie a pass because she's been legit busy and hasn't had much of a chance to respond to stuff. from what little I've heard from her she seems nice. apparently she's new to discord survivor just like me, so I might be a little biased in wanting her around. I wanted Keaton to be great - he's a Kirby, I'm a Kirby, so we already had something working for us. but he's not giving me anything to work with. I'll bring something up to talk about and he'll shut it down almost immediately, in a way that makes me worried I'm getting on his nerves or something. idk, maybe our personalities just clash? but atm with Keaton my mood is zzzzzz and then there's John. I get the impression that John just doesn't give a shit. he spent all of the first night playing skyrim and ignoring me, and he hasn't said much of anything to me today. his intro and his rant show that he knows how survivor works, so why isn't he putting any effort into talking? idgi. :/

soooooo yeah that's this tribe. BC and I have teamed up, we've talked about roping in Matt as a third sometime soon. I wanna give Marie a chance as well, even talking to her tonight she's not that bad. but I'd probably be fine with voting out Keaton whenever, and I want John to go asap.

I was called Keaton from Facebook and mistaken for Maria on my tribe. This game is going great for me so far.

So far making bonds with Brian, Charlie, Dennis, and Sharky (Matt). I genuinely like them. No game talk just yet. But i wouldnt mind alligning with them. Havent talk to Nicole yet. So i need to start. Hopefully we are good and win this first immunity.

Okay top of Day 2. We're plunking away at this challenge. It's weird because since we all have our own lists we aren't talking very much... Charlie, Nicole, and Maynor are still yet to upload anything so I hope they get it together soon.

I feel like my tribe is being lazy rn like I did three tasks and I gave up because i only saw one other person doing shit! and they can GOOO if they are going to be like that! OVER IT

no one pm's me first and when i pm them i have to keep the conversation going and it stops after like 5/10 minutes so um thats fun. really hoping we win immunities until a swap or sth. or maybe we intentionally matsing and then i just get rid of all the ppl who GHOST me. the only person who had a real conversation with me today was jayden and even that was super short and ended with him leaving me on read so um.. i guess im just super popular obviously. reading this back its gonna look so cringe NNN but this is how i FEEL

Ok so another update! So today I approached Bryce who seems like a amazing guy and I asked if we could work together and he said yes! So I hope this is a relationship that can last

I still feel kinda... like an outsider looking in. It's only day 2, but I just feel like I have so much I need to change about my social game already. I'm normally a crackhead when talking to people and can find those one or two people to be crackheads with, but I think I literally have to go through a complete change in order to succeed. I need to be more ... adult? If that makes sense...

So it's time for me to channel my inner-straight guy! I need to just be cool and casual and normal and not be the uber obsessive Ariana stan I normally am or... "wig" this... I know I touched on this in my first confessional, but it's even more true now... I'm finding talking to some of these people a lot more challenging because I have to kinda flick on the normie switch.

Ahhh... this is going to be one hell of a ride…

Honestly I am REALLY happy where i sit in this game. I have a solid alliance of 3 with BC and James which is already good. I have a feeling we will end up at tribal, however I am not too worried because i feel like there will be some clear targets like Keaton or John. Marie is kind of laying in the middle but I know what a good player she can be so im keeping my eye on her.

Ooo girl. Do I have tea for you? LMFAO. I would make a video, but I have a lot to talk about, so you'll have to read for now.

where to even start? like LOL I guess I'll start with... this tribe fucking sucks. Literally can't stand it. And b4 someone says... "ew bboy it's b/c you don't have anybody you know huh??? you relying on meta!!!" no it's not because of that. well, sort of...

i play these games to meet new people so being on a tribe of new people doesn't phase me too much. it's that i don't like it when the tribe is inactive. like half of the people don't talk to me so it's kinda hard to do a cast analysis but I'll do one then get to the tea.

keaton: nothing really to say about him cuz I don't know him. I literally messaged him and it was SOOOOO hard to hold a conversation with him. then, I confused him with marie cuz he was kinda forgettable. thank you, next john: girl bye. idk if there's something wrong, but like john literally does not message me. and like i'm fine it's ok whatever, like i'm fine i'm fine I'll be fine, but still girl... seriously??? I would say "hey john! how are you doing?" and he'd be like "good." HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO WORK WITH THAT? LAGHALHG marie: I actually like her a lot. we get along prob cuz we're both similar - she's quirky, I'm quirky. quite the combo. we don't have any set alliance or anything, but I definitely don't want her to leave before dem inactives -.- matt: I like him... enough. he's cool and we chatted for a bit yesterday and the first day. there really isn't anything else to say but he's kinda fun??? i guess idk laghlahg but yeah there's that james: i'm prob the closest to him on the tribe. we just vibe so well together and I really do like him a lot. he's funny and chill and he was the one who initiated the alliance, to which I was like "yess girl add me in!!!" idk what else to say, because although matt/james have been more active, I jjust haven't had many convos with them individually yknow

but the little alliance we have going on is cute. <3 the name = Transcontinental Trio. It prob won't last (just being honest) but if it can get me past these few couple of rounds before the swap, I'll take it. my goal right now is to win these next few challenges and hope we don't have to go to tribal before the swap. if we do, I'd rather see john leave before keaton, because I think there's a relationship to work with keaton whereas I don't see one with john unfortunately

the tea that I have to spill is really just bitching about my tribemates I mean come the FUCK on y'all!!! wtf is the point of joining an ORG and then not talking to anybody. like does that make any fucking sense??? literally like... nnnn what is the matter with you? John infuriates me b/c like bitch if you don't have time sweetie, stick to playing Skyrim or w/e the fuck you play. my mood was when he sent us a pic of something happening in the game (idk what it was it looked dumb af) and literally NO ONE replying. like yes stick to his boring ASS!!

on top of all of that, no one (excluding my alliance) talks about anything of substance. like sure it's only been 3 days but y'all can at least find SOMETHING to talk about. i'm just so goddamn frustrated

that's it. I'm tired of bitching. i'll confessional again after results. hopefully we win or imma have to pop a bitch.

Okay we're closing in on the challenge deadline! I've gotten a ton of points. Dennis/Brian/Maynor all also posted a bunch so I'm hoping this is enough to keep us safe. Idk what Nicole is doing? But she better post something. ANYTHING really.

Where is Nicole? Like...girl, are you good? Wtf

omg so. based on nathans and nick's talking in the tribe chat they seem to know each other/mutual ppl. i will break their bond and make sure they want to work with me instead of each other. even if nathan hates pm'ing me and nick was fine to talk for a bit yesterday but today seems to hate me!

The scores are locked in. Hopefully we had enough points to keep us safe but Nicole didnt turn anything in. Hopefully nothing too bad happened. But i think if we do lose, maybe Nicole being first boot isnt too bad. Hopefully everyone thinks the same.

Okay so we demolished. Lucky for Nicole because she didn't contribute at all. And she didn't tell us she was abstaining. I'm sorry...you didn't have time to take a selfie with your cat? Bye.

MY MIND IS SO BIG AT 1:20AM. Right ok so to catch the confs up, James BC and myself have made an alliance called the transcontinental trio (An iconic name ik) so like im really happy that exists. THEN we somehow win immunity, even though Marie and John both had single digit scores LOL. like wow didn't know we could do that. then anna announces the idol system, and i fully expect too like not get far so i do it anyway. 4 mins later and i HAVE A FUCKING IMMUNITY IDOL???? LIKE BITCH WTF. I AM SO FUCKING SHOOK ITS UNREAL. I have been playing orgs for 1 1/2 years now and like I have never been able to find one! and now i do???? Jesus Christ maybe this IS my Game!

not to overreact but i want my entire tribe to go home. i had to PLUCK egg shells out of my VERY CURLY hair like i was some monkey picking ticks. i took an egg, a poor chicken would be, and used it not for nutrition. but for "fun". and its all for NOTHING. but thats ok. everyone keeps saying bc i carried i should be safe and like yes. but the REAL reason i should be safe is that its like im the only person on this tribe who wants to socialize at all!! also this idol system is so fun love choose ur own adventure type stuff. sad how i flopped first try tho.. but in 24 hours catch me with the idol! or catch me as first boot. someone just catch me im falling FAST.

This immunity is great because it gives me time to build better friendships without pressure of a vote. Charlie seems to like me, he wants to share idol guesses which is cool with me. That probably also means he'll tell me if he gets an idol which is powerful info to know. Also I won some cookies on my search. I hope they're oreos. But I'm curious as to what they'll be good for.

So....Charlie found the idol...and he told me. So guess I'm working with Charlie now. Because I want to keep tabs on this idol.

https://imgur.com/ZrG7wNV clearly doesnt realize ive never met a girl i didnt want to ally.

So we lost the challenge! Are we surprised? NOOOO AHHAHA! *sighs* anyways I think i have the numbers to get anabelle out, sorry not sorry

First tribal then Walrus is a bitch. I hate this game

i want to vote jayden out but annabelle and cole did worse in the comp so it might be hard so awk.. like nick wants annabelle out and he told cole that so its kind of over for her huh this is so sad i refuse to be on a tribe full of MEN

So far so good I really hope we can continue this momentum and I hope I can last 6 more days until the 20th of January and then I get to be two ages in one org which I have never done yet.

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BC has brought me and Matt into an alliance (Transcontinental Trio!). BC is like the obvious alpha on the tribe and I’m kinda fine with that? At least I hope BC looks like a bigger threat than me, I don’t want that label lol. Matt is super charismatic, we’re finally talking regularly/about the game. He’s probably the scariest person on the tribe just because he’s so damn likable.

Keaton’s opened up a little. We bonded over thinking that we were the only ones hearing nothing from John lmao. Our first vote will probably wind up being Marie or John. I don’t want to push buttons too early, but if I get a chance at a clean shot at John I’m taking it.

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So we lost the challenge which is terrible but I got the legacy advantage which is great! I’m worried ppl r voting me but that’s could be just my paranoia so ima stick to my plan of waiting for a name to be said

We won immunity and it feels great. Hopefully we could just go on an immunity run and stay safe till swap happens. I need to start making my talks with people go to game talk but maybe not as fast skmce we are safe.

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edit: I really need to start watching the movies. Choose your own adventure like Idol systems always require background knowledge.

We won the first challenge and I'm so happy because I could've been voted out if we lost! This is my first Tumblr org so I'm completely lost and I accidentally told Matt that I knew Bryce from the other tribe so yay... that put a target on my back I think so hopefully we just keep on winning!

I don't have too much to update on, but I'm so glad that we aren't going to tribal because highkey I'd be in so much trouble... I've been in an emotional rut so the communication has been rough.. but we won so I have time to enjoy my tribemates in some conversations and make them love me…

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Cole like what are you doing bro. Also I assume Keaton and Dennis are running shit on the other tribes.

Wow so I gotta say I am seriously impressed by this cast. I don't really know anyone and there are only 2 other people from EM... is this for real lol?? Seriously though I'm so happy to finally be playing an org with so many new people!!

Ok so first impressions of my tribe. I've already embarrassed myself by sending drunk videos to every single member of my tribe bar Nicole who wasn't online at the time.

Dennis- Easily my fav so far. I feel like we click so well and I've already talked to him way more than anyone else. Really hope I can go far with him.

Brian- Ok so I've seen this guy around on facebook and he seems funny and really nice! Our convos have been fun so hopefully we can develop a good relationship from here!

Maynor- He likes Charlie the unicorn. Therefore I like him.

Sharky- Haven't talked to him so much yet, but he seems cool and I know he was an early boot in KC.

Nicole- Haven't talked to her yet at all.

Ok so my tribe mates are KILLING this challenge! It's been difficult for me to take part cos of being up in London, but I need to add more stuff to the list lol. Otherwise we could lose, and I'll probably get blamed... eeeek.

WE WON!!! I can't believe it!! I'm so FUCKING HAPPY right now. One of our tribe mates abstained and we still won by over 200 points.. crazy shit

https://youtu.be/_LqWkiWMQw8

so we are about to go to tribal in about an hour and I think we have a plan sorted, I know nathan is saying my name and I will get votes BUT what the plan is that myself,bryce and annabelle vote jayden, jayden votes nathan and the other two will prob vote myself so we will get a 3-2-1 and jayden will go! lets hope

ok so i was out all day. and barely on. but i tried forcing jayden out bc he ignores me and i hate him. but NO. cole is cracked and when itell him to talk to nathan to secure his vote. he instead wants to vote him, then leads to jayden telling nathan that cole wants him out. so now he has no shot. bye bye cole this is sad but u so overplayed NNN glad queen annabelle is safe tho!

Cole is voted out 5-1.

#episode #allmadhere

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