#i like to think that this is him afterwards <3

[bosbas]

Chapter 12: I thought I was better safe than starry-eyed

series masterlist previous part || next part

pairing: colin bridgerton x enemy!fem!reader WC: 3.5k words

Warnings: period-typical gender roles, insane amounts of pining, idiots in love!!, in their friends era... or are they?, the slow burn is slowww burningggg i'm so sorry

Summary: It took precisely two days in England for you to utterly despise Colin Bridgerton. It took him approximately twelve hours after that to hate you right back. But he doesn't care that you're the only person in the ton who doesn't like him. You're set to marry someone else anyway, right?

A/N: I am BACK sorry for my absence I promise I won't leave for that long again <3

July 12, 1816 – It seems that the summer heat is not the only thing causing a stir within the ton. Recently, the Montclair and Bridgerton families have been seen in each other’s company more frequently than usual. Could there be a more permanent union on the horizon?

Lord Philippe Montclair and Mr. Colin Bridgerton have been spotted in deep conversation on multiple occasions, discussing matters that appear far more serious than the usual lighthearted banter one would expect. Indeed, whispers suggest that their discussions have involved future business ventures and mutual interests, signaling a burgeoning camaraderie between the two gentlemen.

Regardless, the warmth between the two families is palpable, leading this author to wonder if we shall soon hear the sound of wedding bells. Stay vigilant, dear readers. Though no one shall stay more vigilant than this author.

As you walked home from the modiste with Eloise by your side, you noted the afternoon sun filtering through the leaves high atop the trees surrounding you. You had suggested a shortcut back to your respective homes, opting to go through the park rather than the busy streets, and you were mostly thankful for the silence of the greenery around you. Mostly.

“So, will you be joining us for dinner tonight?” asked Eloise expectantly, gently nudging your shoulder with hers.

You groaned and screwed your eyes shut, already dreading the conversation, and the evening, to come. “Yes, Mother has been quite insistent that I go. I think she’d kill me if I asked to stay home one more time.”

“I didn’t know we were that bad,” joked Eloise, only a hint of resentment in her voice.

“Not at all!” you rushed to defend yourself, cringing at the fact that one of your dearest friends was upset with you. “You know that it’s just… Well, I’m sure Colin told you everything. I really can’t bear to face him.”

In all honesty, Eloise’s annoyance was warranted. You had spent the past two weeks avoiding the Bridgertons at all costs, only seeing Eloise at balls or in your own home. The only reason you had gone to Bridgerton House today was because you and Eloise were leaving immediately afterward to go get new dresses, and you were certain you wouldn’t run into Colin.

Not only were you still terribly embarrassed by your assumptions of Colin's character, but you also found yourself strangely drawn to him. Now that nothing prevented you from actually liking him, and now that you knew that he was not a horrible person like you had previously thought, you were in a bit of a conundrum. Colin Bridgerton had charmed you, and you knew that if you let yourself, you could very well start to grow feelings for him.

And that wouldn’t do. No, it absolutely wouldn’t. For starters, the two of you had never managed to get along anyway, so you had no idea how you would even live in relative peace were you to have a future. Even so, your father would never approve, no matter what Lady Whisteldown was alluding to. And so Colin was out of the question as a husband or really anything other than a friend.

But while you had been meticulously maneuvering through your social outings to avoid her family, Eloise had slowly been losing patience. She had tolerated whatever had been going on between you and Colin at the beginning of the season, but it was high time that you stopped acting so childish. Especially after Anthony and Kate’s ball, where the two of you had already apologized for your misunderstanding and subsequent feud.

“I can’t believe you haven’t seen him since that night,” scolded Eloise, crossing her arms in a huff. Then, in a humorous tone, she added, “He doesn’t actually look that bad with a broken nose if that’s what you’re worried about. The swelling has gone down considerably.”

Not able to help yourself, you let out a small snort and smiled at your friend. “No, it’s not that. I’m just so embarrassed. Oh heavens, even just thinking about it I can feel my face getting hot. He did tell you about it, right?”

“Yes,” responded Eloise, giving you a very pointed look. “He was very excited about the fact that you didn’t actually hate him. He wouldn’t stop talking about it for two days. Though now I wonder if that really is the case, given your behavior.”

 “Oh, no,” you groaned, putting your head in your hands in desperation.

“He was quite embarrassed as well, Y/N,” Eloise reminded you gently. “I don’t see why you can barely stand to be in the same room as him even now.”

“I just-” you started, finding it difficult to explain why you had been so against seeing him, or any of his family, really, after the most recent ordeal with Lord Barlow.

But Eloise wasn’t letting you get away with it any longer. She slowed down her previously brisk walk, looking straight into your eyes as she gestured for you to continue.

“I just wasted so much time and energy fighting with him and I’m so ashamed that your family saw that side of me. I didn’t even know I could be that unpleasant! And to make matters worse, it was all for nothing since I was completely in the wrong.”

“Not completely,” Eloise mused. Colin had been quite kind to you in his retelling of the events, and Eloise was inclined to believe her brother’s account.

With a sigh, your friend turned to face you. “I wish you had told me what you thought of him because I would have either helped you realize your mistake or helped you kill him.”

You laughed again, shaking your head as you realized how lucky you were to have Eloise in your life. Linking arms with her, you patted her hand as you explained, “I was just terrified of the recourse. My parents were so insistent that I ‘act ladylike’ that I was scared of revealing I had been unchaperoned in the presence of two men. And besides, I didn’t want to ruin your perception of your brother.”

“Well, regardless, it will all be resolved at dinner tonight, seeing how you’ll be in attendance.”

A soft sigh escaped your lips.

“I certainly hope so.”

---

As you walked into the dining room, a soft smile on your lips as you spoke with Kate, Colin’s breath was stolen from his body. He already hadn’t been expecting to see you, already growing accustomed to having you avoid him, but seeing you look as beautiful as you did now was completely doing him in.

“Y/N,” he whispered from across the room, unable to tear his eyes away from you.

Feeling an elbow digging into his ribs, Colin turned to see Benedict, smirking as he watched his younger brother. “Might I suggest pulling yourself together if you don’t want to scare her away again?”

“Be quiet,” hissed Colin, but he ran a hand through his hair to regain his composure anyway.

“Benedict!” you greeted, delighted at finally seeing him for so long. “And Colin!” you added, hoping your voice didn’t reveal the nervousness you were feeling.

“Lovely to see you again,” said Benedict brightly, squeezing your shoulder.

Then, feigning some obligation or another, the second Bridgerton slipped out of the dining room to join the rest of your families, leaving you alone with Colin. Benedict had been terribly obvious, but the resulting awkwardness that enveloped you and Colin kept you from noticing his brash exit.

“I’m happy you’re here,” Colin spoke, almost timidly. Then, speaking very quickly, he added, “I was fairly confused when I didn’t hear from you for two weeks, but I didn’t want to call on you because we agreed to just be friends and I didn’t want to give you the wrong impression. Though now that I think about it, that might have been the decent thing to do."

Sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck, Colin looked down at the floor as he waited for your response.

“Not at all!” you rushed out, wanting to reassure him. “It was my fault entirely. I apologize for not speaking with you sooner, I was just a tad embarrassed, as you can probably imagine.”

Colin’s shoulders relaxed and he smiled, feeling at ease now that he was certain you didn’t spontaneously hate him again.

“You were embarrassed? I rather think I should be the one feeling that way,” he laughed. “I still find it hard to believe you could have thought I was that... horrid for so long.”

You put your hands over your face and shook your head. “I can’t believe it either,” you groaned.

Sensing you were getting worked up again, Colin instinctively put a comforting arm around your shoulders, pressing you to him. “No, it’s quite alright. I promise I was just…”

Then, suddenly realizing just how close he was holding you to him, Colin stepped away quickly. Instead of apologizing and drawing even more attention to his overstepping, he settled for clearing his throat awkwardly, clasping his hands behind his back to keep from reaching out to you again.

“It was all in jest, I swear,” promised Colin, realizing he had never finished his earlier sentence.

Before you could respond, Violet walked into the dining room, followed by your family.

“Hello, Y/N!” she greeted you, reaching over to put a hand on your forearm in greeting. “I’m thrilled you’re here! We missed you last week.”

You smiled gratefully back at her, internally chastising yourself for ever wanting to avoid this wonderful family. All because you were scared of facing Colin, who, as it turned out, had a singular talent for making you feel at ease.

“You’re seated here, next to Colin,” indicated Violet, gesturing toward a seat near the end of the dining table.

“Oh,” you breathed out, not expecting to have to be in such proximity to him for the whole night. Realizing you had been impossibly rude, you added, “Thank you very much, I’m sure we’ll have lots to catch up on.”

Four courses later, you were having the time of your life. You were sitting between Francesca and Colin, and both had been keeping you endlessly entertained as you ate. Speaking to Colin came so naturally that you wondered how the two of you had ever managed to fight so much without ever having a proper conversation, save for one or two. It seemed impossible now, the forgone tension between you. Especially when you had to actively ensure that you were talking to Francesca, too, rather than just Colin. But he was just so easy to talk to, and you simply had so much in common that it was proving quite difficult to focus on anything else.

“Are you excited for your season next year?” you asked Francesca, leaning away from Colin so you could concentrate on speaking to her.

“I suppose I’m looking forward to having something of my own,” she responded after chewing thoughtfully. “An experience of my own, that is. It’ll be quite the luxury, especially being from a family as large as mine. Did you ever feel that way?”

You hummed, thinking back on your season. “I felt that way at the beginning, to be sure. But having seen my older sister’s fairytale romance and having a season that was nowhere near that had me wishing for a season similar to hers in the end.”

“Oh, I didn’t mean that-” Francesca started, having forgotten your ordeal with Lord Barlow.

You waved her apology away, smiling warmly at her. “Not to worry, I’m quite well-adjusted now. Perhaps next season will be better, though I’m not sure how unique it will be since I’m heading back to Spain, just as Isabelle did.”

“Are you really leaving?” asked Francesca, partially in shock that you were leaving after only one season. “But-”

“Y/N does,” came a loud voice next to you.

Confused, you turned around to face Colin, who seemed to have gone quite red in the face.

“I hadn’t realized I was speaking that loud,” he said bashfully, nervous now that most everyone at the table was looking at him expectantly. “Anthony was only talking about how I use the night sky to navigate my crew when I travel, and I was pointing out that you are quite knowledgeable in that area as well,” he explained, looking at you with wide, uncertain eyes.

Anthony, who had been at the other side of the table, was struggling to contain his laughter.

“I had no idea Y/N knew so much about the stars,” commented Violet, looking directly at Colin as she did so, an unreadable expression on her face.

Highly uncomfortable at being the center of attention for this particular reason, the third Bridgerton internally cringed and gulped his wine, hoping to wash down some of the discomfort as he did so.

“We’ve only talked about it a few times, but she does seem to be quite the expert,” he said finally.

Feeling charitable, Louis chimed in to change the subject, “I know I’ve been victim to her hour-long lectures about which constellations are visible at any given point in time. Were you thinking of traveling soon, Anthony?”

Letting out a sigh of relief now that the attention was no longer fixed on his thinly veiled infatuation with you, Colin cast a fleeting smile in your direction, eager to gauge your reaction.

But you only smiled amusedly at him, snickering as he gripped his fork and knife tightly in his hands with leftover tension.

“Tell Louis I say thank you,” he muttered.

You shook your head. “It’ll get to his head,” you argued.

And Colin’s smile in return was so charming, so roguish, and so handsome that you were tempted to forget your agreement to be friends right then and there.

Ah, that was why you had been avoiding him, you reminded yourself. Colin was far too charismatic for his own good. For your own good, rather.

But you had to remind yourself of what your parents –and society– expected you to find. A man with a title and a fortune. And that was decidedly not a Mr. Colin Bridgerton.

Clearing your throat, you turned away from Colin to face Francesca again.

Friends, you reminded yourself. You were friends with Colin.

---

The Montclair brothers sat in their father’s study, brandy in hand as they so often did after evening dinners ran long and they needed to wind down. Supper with the Bridgertons had been lovely, but the boys had important matters to discuss with their father. Well, important matters to you. But important nonetheless.

“Que pensez-vous de Colin?” asked Jacques, trying to seem nonchalant (What do you think of Colin?).

“Bah, il est assez gentil, mais il est vraiment amoureux,” came your father’s gruff response before he took a long sip of brandy, rubbing his temples (Well, he’s nice enough, but he’s definitely in love).

“Quoi? Amoureux de qui?” pressed Philippe, feigning innocence as if this wasn’t exactly what the brothers wanted Lord Montclair to notice (What? In love with who?).

“De Y/N, bien sûr,” replied your father, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world (With Y/N, of course).

That was the tipping point for Louis, who apparently was the only person in the world who wasn't instantly attuned to Colin’s feelings. Forgetting why he and his brothers were so eager to meet with their father and talk about Colin, the youngest Montclair brother set his glass of brandy down in exasperation.

“Putain, comment tout le monde a pu voir ça?” (Damnit, how did everyone else see that?)

---

Laughing quietly at a comment Colin had whispered in your ear, you found yourself truly enjoying a ball for the first time in a very long time. Now that you were past all the hatred and subsequent awkwardness, it was lovely to spend an evening with Colin by your side.

This might have been the first ball you had been to that you hadn’t spent a considerable amount of time sulking at. It was, to say the very least, quite freeing.

Not to mention the absolute entertainment that was watching the third Bridgerton rush from ambitious mama to eligible lady and back to another mama as he attempted to please everyone. You had only been here an hour and he’d already danced three times and spoken with at least four women you knew for a fact he had no interest in.

“Ah, Mr. Bridgerton, it’s lovely to see you again,” came a voice behind you.

Both of you turned around to face Miss Anne McCall, who was looking at Colin expectantly. Amused, you raised your eyebrows at him, too. You could bet your family’s entire fortune that Colin had promised her a dance at some point tonight.

He cleared his throat awkwardly, briefly touching your arm. “Excuse me just a moment, Y/N.”

You nodded, unable to respond because you were momentarily overtaken by the feel of his hand on you. An unfamiliar warmth radiated to you, and you almost stumbled as you tried to regain your bearings.

Looking out across the ballroom, you spotted Colin smiling and laughing as he danced with Miss McCall, who was looking absolutely enamored as he spun her around. You smiled to yourself, glad that your rivalry with him had been resolved and you could simply appreciate the fact that he was a lovely person. Maybe some night you would be the one he was spinning around the ballroom.

Shaking your head to will the mental image away, you made your way to the other side of the ballroom, needing to clear your head.

However, a hand gripped yours and you turned around, surprised. Colin’s relieved eyes met yours and he pulled you closer to him, though still allowing an appropriate distance between you two in case anyone was observing.

“A turn about the ballroom?” he suggested, eyes pleading.

Once again taken aback by how aware you were of his skin on yours, you could only nod, allowing him to place your hand in the crook of his elbow.

“Thank you,” he murmured. “I think I’ve spoken to too many people tonight. If I have to laugh politely at another conversation I’m certain I will dissolve right where I'm standing.”

You rolled your eyes good-naturedly, squeezing his arm. “You don’t have to do it, you know?”

“Do what?”

“That,” you said, gesturing toward the dancefloor full of couples waltzing. “You’re allowed to say no.”

Colin frowned, thoughtful. “I wouldn’t want to disappoint them.”

“Why not?” you pressed.

“I- I don’t know, I suppose. It feels like it’s what I should be doing. Doesn’t everyone?”

“Hmm, not particularly. I’ve said no to plenty of men wanting to dance with me, you included,” you nudged him playfully.

“That doesn’t really count, though. Because you’re… you. It doesn’t matter if you say no to every single man asking you to dance.”

“Doesn’t it? You’re also you. So, it doesn’t matter either.”

“No, I mean that…I don’t know what I mean. I suppose that people would still like you even if you said no a lot.”

Your eyebrows shot up as you took in what Colin was saying.

“People would still like you if you said no every once in a while, you know? I know I would.”

Colin shook his head. “It’s still different!” Then, softening his voice, he added, “Because you have… Or rather, because I just don’t have any remarkable qualities beyond people finding me charming or affable.”

“Colin,” you scolded, rolling your eyes. Then, seeing that he was quite serious, your expression sobered. “Of course you have value beyond how much people like you. My word, Colin. You are so clever and so well-traveled. You can orient yourself on a map at first glance, and I doubt you would ever get lost at sea. You know most constellations visible from London, and I don’t even know how many beyond that.”

“Alright, I see your point,” he laughed, secretly wishing you would continue speaking forever. Colin was practically preening at your praise, and he so desperately wished you could want him the way he wanted you. “What do you suggest I do at balls, then, if I'm not dancing with every single member of the ton?”

 “Well, you could start by only dancing with people you want to dance with.”

“In that case, would you like to dance with me?”

You laughed, shaking your head. “No, I’m serious.”

“So am I,” insisted Colin. Then, after a pause, he added, “Friends can dance together," a twinge of regret in his chest as he said the words.

But that seemed to placate you, and you placed your hand in his. “I suppose they do.”

With a shaky breath, you prepared for the next few minutes you would spend in Colin’s arms, not quite sure you or your heart were ready to look into his mesmerizing eyes and not fall completely head over heels for him.

But one smile from him, and you were completely at ease. One dance couldn’t hurt, right?

—

previous part || next part || buy me a ko-fi!

I no longer have a taglist for this fic, but turn on post notifications for @bosbas-library to stay updated when I post!

[onebnis]

first date w/ riize !

how riize would treat you on the first date, ot7 headcanons.

new bf!riize x gn!reader, established feelings, fluff, teasing, bickering, some cuddling, sfw kisses, no nsfw, theyre js cute.

if there are any typos pls ignore 😞💔 ,, will have a smau / text version of this soon!

💌 — requests are open! <3

★ — shotaro ?!

shotaro would most definitely take you on a picnic, he just feels like a picnic kind of guy. he’d pack so many cute little snacks and even make the meal into characters such as ‘ hello kitty ‘ just to see you smile. i feel like he’d just love to spend quality time with you. both of your feelings are already known to each other, but for shotaro, he just LOVES spending time together, no matter what you guys will do. watching other people on the grass while you talk about anything and everything, sharing old stories and listening to music.

★ — eunseok ?!

eunseok’s seems a bit basic, as he loves rocks, but he would definitely take you to a crafts store where you guys can decorate your own rocks / stones. he’d paint all sorts of characters while thinking of you and you guys would spend hours in there. might i even say you guys stay up until the shop closes. but at the end of the day, he would hand you a bag full of the rocks he painted and kiss your forehead. giving you the rocks as a first date gift.

★ — sungchan ?!

some people might think sungchans first date idea would be something energetic and interesting, but somehow i feel like he would much rather have a quiet, indoors, cuddle party. seems a bit much for a first date, but thats what pulls you both closer. you both take turns putting on your favorite movies, you watch old cartoons and make popcorn, even order pizza. he’d definitely be the kind of guy to have an arm around your waist, but waits for you to lean in first for a cuddle. he’d want you to be comfortable at your own pace. but once you guys cuddle, he never lets you go. <3

★ — wonbin ?!

i feel like wonbin would be so nervous and have a whole plan set out for your first date, but as you two go along the plans, it all starts to not work out. like he’d take you on a drive to a beautiful place, but on your way back, the car stops working. he’d get so embarrassed and awkward, apologizing so many times but that is why you like him, nothing is perfect. you like the reality of it all. being with him feels like a dream, but you get to help build the dream with him. you’d hold his face and give him a soft peck before suggesting to call a car shop, while you admire the view. so, in the end it worked out anyway!

★ — seunghan ?!

seunghan is definitely a disney land kind of boyfriend. seunghan IS the disney princess. he would love bringing you on his favorite rides and meeting his favorite characters with you. he’d excitedly show you where to get the good food and buy you so many plushies. he’d be so cute omg, you would find it so enjoyable to watch him be so excited about such little things. he would definitely also buy accessories to dress you both up like characters.

★ — sohee ?!

sohee feels like a gamer kind of guy, he’d take you do a gaming cafè, then to an arcade, and then back home to play more games. but he’d also be very competitive, you guys would have fun bickering and making bets on who will win which game. playfully push each other to try and make the other lose, i feel like he would lose a lot to you but the one time he actually did win, he would jump up and dance around before pulling you into a quick kiss. but he’d get so embarrassed and shy afterwards which you find just so adorable of him.

★ — anton ?!

anton would definitely want to do crafts and stuff with you. more likely, legos. he loves his legos, but you as well. you guys would buy all sorts of sets and take them back to his place to build them. he would put on music and then the building starts! i feel like even though you both like each other romantically, he’d be a great mix of boyfriend and best friend. you guys would bicker and push each other around to see who could build faster. but by the end of it, you won. at least you thought you did, anton would then show you his set. which was you. this man would build you with legos and give it to you as a gift.

FINISHED !

💭 — i might do another one of these with boynextdoor or even enhypen, so keep an eye out!! i hope you enjoyed this. <3 likes & rbs are appreciated!

tags : @enhaas @starchasing-cryptid @lavendersloane @academiq @wnyngz @wonhes

if you wish to be tagged in future works like this, send an ask & or a reply, and i’ll add you !!

[cottonlemonade]

Help Wanted

word count: 656 || avg. reading time: 3 mins.

pairing: University AU!Tendou x chubby!Reader

genre: smut

warnings: mdni, nsfw

____________________________________________

Tendou would have liked to say that he was a gentleman. But when you showed up in his dorm room and announced that you were sick and tired of being labeled the campus virgin and begged your best friend to just have sex with you, Tendou didn’t actually hesitate for more than three seconds before shrugging and saying, “Alright.”, making room for you on his bed.

His roommate blinked at the two of you before packing up his laptop and mumbling something about “going to study at the library then”.

He knew he should have maybe talked you out of it but his mind was too busy screaming at the opportunity. He figured, he’d casually invite you for coffee afterwards in the cafeteria or maybe order a pizza and then confess to you over some melty cheese that he’s been in love with you since that time you used red hair spray to dye your hair, just so you could raise your hand for him at roll call while he was busy finishing up a paper in the library at the last minute. You had worn one of his hoodies (a new one he bought several sizes too big just so he could lend it to you without you commenting that his stuff wouldn’t fit you) and his roommate had walked in on him sniffing the collar with deep deep breaths.

And now he lay between your plush thighs, heart pounding, licking his lips in anticipation as he peeled your panties aside. You’re still wearing a shirt which he found unfortunate but there was no rush.

Before he began, he stressed how important it was to ease into it. He didn’t want to hurt you, of course, so he thought, good long foreplay and maybe making you cum first would be a good idea.

He leaned in and set a couple soft kisses on your soft pussy. You gasped and tried to close your legs with him still at work. He looked up at you, asking if you want to stop. Wordlessly, you just opened your legs again and he grinned, swiping his tongue through the folds.

“You taste sweet…”, he commented and you hid your face under your arms but moaned when he used his fingers to expose your clit.

Wanting to make it a more interactive learning experience he brought his right index to your lips, “Can you wet that for me?”

You hesitate for a moment, peaking out from under your chubby arms and then because you really needed to him to continue, sucked it into your mouth.

“Mmmh, I can only imagine what those lips would do to a cock. But we can do that next time.”

Bringing his slick finger down to him, he began ghosting it over your clit. The noises falling from your lips had him throb in his boxers. Tendou increased the pressure ever so slightly, pushing the little pink button to the left and right, watching happily now wet you already became. He slurped loudly, enjoying every drop of you like the first iced tea of the summer.

“I’m gonna put a finger into you now.”, he announced and your expression, already so deliciously dazed, changed to new excitement. You gave a small nod and he slowly pushed into you, stroking your gummy walls.

“You’re so cute… I’m gonna put a second finger in, okay?”

You nod again. This time, he decided to tease a bit.

“You gotta talk to me, gorgeous.”

“Yes, please put a second finger in.”, you replied breathily and moaned loudly when he started to move them in and out.

“Now, I wonder what would happen if I’d suck your little clit now, too. - What do you think would happen?”

“I’d…. You’d make me cum.”, you said quietly, a definite whine in your voice.

“That sounds like fun. Let’s do that, hm? Let’s make you cream on my fingers.”

____________________________________________

[katewritesthings]

Love Me Like I Can // Chapter 3

Chapter // Kiss You Masterlist Summary: Diana attends the PCAs and has a guest join her afterwards.

*Warnings: Language, drug use, sexual content, mental health struggles.

February 18, 2024

Diana was over the People’s Choice Awards already and she hadn’t stepped foot on the red carpet yet. Awards shows had always given her some sort of stage fright, but the feeling was multiplied tonight. Being nominated for an award individually and as a member of the cast was an honor, but she wished she could politely attend via satellite. 

The redhead was currently doing a puzzle and getting her hair curled in the living room of her hotel suite, anxiety bubbling in her stomach. Cathy was sitting on a stool at the island sending emails and attempting to give Diana and Biz the rundown of how the evening would go.

“You’re going to do the red carpet and please for the love of God, Diana, try to appear like you’re not being held at gunpoint,” the older woman said, knowing that interviews were the last thing the singer wanted to do before the awards ceremony. “You’re only going to stop for the host and IHeartRadio to plug your new tour.”

“Okay, I can do that,” Diana sucked in a deep breath, mentally preparing herself for the questions that would be asked. Her phone buzzed in her lap, indicating a text from Joe, making a joke about one of the trainers at the gym. He had taken the initiative to text Diana the night of their hangout and communication had been constant since. Picking through another handful of pieces from the pile in front of her, she picked out the two end pieces and sorted the rest by color.

“Once you’re in there, you and Biz will be seated at a table with Dove. I think Chloe and Halle are there, too. You’re not obligated to any after-parties, but please let me know if you’ll be going to one so I can have security on standby.”

Diana flushed a deep scarlet as she responded to Joe when she heard her sister snort, causing Cathy to look up from her laptop. Glancing between the sisters with an untrusting look, she waited momentarily before commanding, “Spill. Now.”

“Diana won’t be going to any after-parties because she’s getting a special delivery during the awards,” Biz teased, wrapping a section around the curling iron and spraying it with hair spray. “No, that’s not enough. I need details. Now.” Cathy was now using her stern voice, causing the sisters to stand up straight. Diana froze in place, fingers grasping at a corner piece she had been looking for. “I tried to tell him no! His flight lands at 8. No one was supposed to know!” Diana spat out frantically, trying to explain to Cathy why she had made plans without approval.

“Joe’s flying across the country to hang out with her because she’s nervous about tonight and he liiiikes her,” Biz elaborated when Cathy didn’t look satisfied with Diana’s answer. “Now, hold still before I burn you.”

“He does not! We’re just friends,” Diana squealed, not wanting her manager to get too invested in whatever was happening between her and Joe. Cathy had been her maternal figure for longer than her actual mother had, getting hired at the start of Diana’s career 14 years ago. She had picked up Diana’s broken pieces too many times to count and was extremely protective of her. Even though Cathy had been the one to put them in contact, Diana didn’t want to bring up the idea until she knew what the butterflies in her stomach meant whenever she saw his name on her phone.

“Okay. Well, you and your friend need to stay in the hotel tonight then. You don’t check out until Tuesday. Elizabeth and I leave at 11, tonight,” Cathy said with a sigh. Then softening her features, she looked at Diana directly. “Be safe and have fun, Di. Let yourself relax.” She then turned her attention back to the laptop in front of her. 

-----

February 10, 2024

Joe’s face illuminated her Macbook screen, filling Diana in on his recent trip to Aspen. He was in the middle of telling Diana the story of how Irv missed the ski lift on their first trip up the hill when a ‘ding’ rang from DIana’s phone. Comfort washed over her when she recognized the notification and not another text from Connor on a random number. In the past week, he had texted her from two different numbers saying he still had some of her belongings and that he’d like to talk to her in person. Both numbers were promptly blocked and pushed to the back of Diana’s mind.

“Sorry to interrupt, but I have to read this work email, give me a sec,” Diana said, opening the email app on her screen. Eyes scanning the itinerary that Cathy just sent her, her heart fell into her stomach.

“What’s wrong?” Joe asked, sensing the shift of emotions through the screen.

“I just got my itinerary for my LA trip next week. I forgot Biz had class the day after, so she’s leaving before I am,” Diana breathed, pulling at her lip. Diana had scheduled a last-minute writing session the day after the awards and just had assumed Biz would extend her stay as well. She was even planning on squeezing in a late Galentine’s Day lunch with Dove. 

Joe’s eyes observed her for a moment, still learning how to read her emotions. Though their video calls weren’t a rare thing over the past two weeks, he had yet to encounter this emotion in them. 

“Talk to me, Di. How are you feeling?” Joe’s voice cut through the voice of anxiety that was hounding her, coming up with increasingly more ridiculous scenarios. Trying to rid the idea that the entire ceremony was a set-up to show her how alone she was, she tried to explain “I guess I’m just anxious. I never really wanted to be on reality TV and my EP came out after the deadline, so I feel like I shouldn’t be invited. On top of being under a microscope because of everyone else going to be there. Just afraid I’m going to be in my head. It just seems like a lot to process alone, y’know?”

“Do you want someone to come stay with you?” Joe didn’t hesitate with his response, concern dripping from his voice. Diana felt her face heat up, unsure whether she was presumptuous in taking that as an offer to be the one to stay with her.

“I couldn’t ask anyone to do that. I only have like 12 free hours” Diana busied herself by locating her grinder and wraps and beginning the rolling process. Attempting to hide her embarrassment that she had no one, Diana made a joke at her own expense, “Plus, my Game of Thrones marathon probably is a lot less appealing to anyone than the afterparties that are going to be happening.”

“That’s not what I asked. I asked if you want someone to come stay with you.” Joe’s voice was now more serious, but the concerned look hadn’t left his face when Diana looked up. When their eyes met, Diana opened her mouth to speak but was cut off by Joe. He was scrolling on his iPad, eyebrows furrowed.

“The only flight I could get in on Sunday was right before the show,” Joe said, looking up from his iPad. “I booked it, we’ll figure out the rest later.”

Diana was genuinely surprised at the initiative. While the two had been texting every day and they had found time to FaceTime a handful of times after Diana got out of her writing sessions the past week, the topic of seeing each other again hadn’t come up. Something Diana was fine with, as she was having a hard enough time fully understanding what she was feeling for Joe. She found it easier to keep telling herself that she wasn’t developing a crush on Joe when their conversations focused on their daily activities, Game of Thrones, and the fun facts Joe had been sending her every day.

Fortunately for Diana’s nature, the writing sessions she had been in the past week had been focused on four songs she had brought to the group, all starting at different points in her healing journey. The three other writers she was working with helped her take the bare bones of songs she had presented and helped her work them into something that she couldn’t wait to record next month. The process allowed her mind to focus on the emotions she was working through when she first began the song. Unfortunately, this process uncovered trauma that she hadn’t expected, making a new relationship seem even scarier. While she knew that she had no feelings left for her ex, the betrayal he left had opened old wounds. The voices of inadequacy and abandonment she had felt since her mother had left were the loudest they had been in almost fifteen years. For all of these reasons, Diana knew she should refuse Joe’s offer to come stay, again. And yet, she didn’t.

“Thank you, you really didn’t need to do that,” Diana heard her voice before she realized she was talking. 

“I know I didn’t need to. I help my friends out. Plus, I wanted to see you, consider this an excuse.”

And with that, the singer decided she was going to avoid the fondness she was growing towards the athlete on her screen, and just enjoy his friendship. 

-----

February 18, 2024

“Diana! Over here! Look over here!” 

“Pose for us Red!”

“Can you give us a wave, Di!”

Flashes blinded  Diana as she made her way off the red carpet and into the venue where the People’s Choice Awards was being held. Honestly, this red carpet was better than she had expected this morning. The promise that she would only stop for two interviews had brightened her mood exponentially. The iHeartRadio interviewer looked like he was itching to ask her about The Cheating Incident,  but thankfully followed Cathy’s instructions to keep the topics limited. 

Making a beeline for the bar and immediately downing her first flute of champagne, Diana immediately grabbed two more and mentally prepared herself for the rest of the night as she attempted to spot her sister in the sea of people.. Double-fisting her way through the crowd, she thought about how she was always envious that Biz got to skip the pictures and could just walk in the back. Biz always responded that she was jealous that Diana got the vocal range and insisted it was a fair trade. 

Spotting her sister’s face across the room, Diana began weaving through the crowd of impossibly beautiful people. Mindful of the fact that the room was being live-streamed to hundreds of thousands of people, Diana made sure to keep her expression neutral while on her journey. This was the first time she was going to be in the same room as Bedford Scrolls since October and both Diana and the pop-culture-loving world were hyperaware.  She hadn’t seen them yet, but it was better to be one step ahead than be caught with a meme-able reaction on Live TV.

A little over halfway across the room, Diana’s vigilance proved to not be enough when she felt a hand on her right arm.  Diana was so caught off guard by the unexpected touch and focusing on not spilling her champagne that it took hearing the person’s voice to recognize the person. 

“Don’t worry, babe. I got ya,” the familiar voice of Kyle, the drummer of Bedford Scrolls, filled Diana’s ears. “He just left to go to the bathroom and bar before the show starts.” Relief fled through Diana’s body as she processed his words and finally opened her arms for a hug. She may have been angry with Connor, but the band was just as clueless about the affair as Diana was. Their support over the last few months had been constant and loud, always being the first to let Connor know that what he did was wrong. “I just wanted to say hi before he came back,”  Kyle wrapped Diana’s smaller frame in a hug before pulling away. “We tried to get him to stay home, but he insisted that he’s why we’re nominated.” Diana gave Kyle a knowing look, eyebrows raised. Connor had always had somewhat of an ego, but with rose-colored glasses of love, Diana had always just taken it as confidence. “He seriously needs to get over himself,” she scoffed in response.

“I should warn you, he’s on one tonight. Hannah entered a mental health center Friday and he hasn’t stopped talking about seeing you since.” “Fuck,” Diana muttered, a fake smile plastered on her face as she spotted the camera behind Kyle’s shoulder panning in her direction. “He’s not planning on talking to me here, is he?”

“No, no. Gavin’s got him on tight orders to not communicate with anyone besides us tonight. Even followed him to the bathroom,” Kyle smiled, referring to the security guard who had been with the band for years. The idea that the man in his 50s was following her shithead ex around for the night turned her smile real.

“Good. How is April?” she asked, changing the subject to Kyle’s family. The two caught up for a moment, exchanging stories about Kyle’s wife and Diana’s writing. It wasn’t long, though, before Kyle looked over Diana’s shoulder and his eyes faltered. “He’s coming back over, you should go. You look lovely, good luck.” Kyle said before enveloping Diana in another tight hug. It was weird, she thought to herself as she returned to her original mission, she missed the band that she lost more than she missed the man. 

Making it to her assigned table without any more interruptions, Diana slid into the chair between her sister and Dove. They were seated at a table with cast members from another reality show that Diana felt guilty to admit she didn’t recognize. Luckily, they were engulfed in their own world and paying no attention to the addition to the table.

“Hello, beautiful,” Dove greeted, resting her head on Diana’s shoulder with a smile. The two had been introduced at some industry Christmas event and had quickly fallen into an innocent flirtatious friendship whenever in the same room. The conversation between the two quickly drifted towards the upcoming tour that both of them would be on.

“I cannot wait to perform in front of a crowd, again. It’s been so long,” Diana said excitedly to the dark-haired Disney darling.

“You’re going to do amazing. I can’t wait to watch you perform,” Dove said, winking at the red-headed singer. Diana felt her cheeks fill with heat, as she shook her head.

“Don’t shake your head, your songs are sexy. I can’t wait to hear you sing them,” Dove let out a giggle, but it sounded genuine, not condescending. “Plus, a tour with all girls is amazing! It’s like a girl’s night every night!”

Before long, the ceremony began and Diana tried her best to look equally excited for each nominee. Diana wasn’t sure if it was the fourth glass of champagne she was working on or her nerves, but the night was passing quicker than she had imagined. Her phone buzzed from her lap, pulling her attention away from the stage where Dua Lipa was performing.

Joe 

Watching what I can. That dress is incredible on you Good luck!

Instinctively a smile spread across Diana’s lips as the end of Dua’s song faded out. The presenters for the next award came on stage and Biz nudged her sister’s side to catch her attention. “This is your category.”

Sarah Hyland and Renee Rapp were at the microphone, introducing the Favorite Reality TV Star of the Year nominees. Diana looked up just as her face appeared on the screens on stage along with the other nominees. Renee said her name and a clip from Band Together’s last episode began playing on the dozens of monitors filling the room. Diana heard her heartbroken voice fill the auditorium and prepared herself for the scene that began to roll.

“I was ride or fucking die for you. And I was her hype-man, too. The fact that she continued to smile in my face while smiling on FaceTime with you is one of the most god-awful, disgusting things I have ever heard.” Diana was curled up in a blanket, Connor pacing around the living room they shared at the time. 

“I’m sorry you had to see that,” the bassist said, emotionless, taking a seat on the armchair across the room from Di.

“Why don’t you be sorry you ever fucking did it?!”

“Look, I was wrong, I get it. But I didn’t mean for it to happen that way. I don’t know what you want from me!” Connor was looking at Diana like he was the heartbroken one.

“For you to die.”

The screens cut back to the crowd reactions of the nominees as Renee and Tina continued to read off the next nominees’ names as their scenes played. Diana took a deep breath and reminded herself that she was the one nominated, not Connor. Even if she lost, she couldn’t be painted as the bad guy he attempted to set up on the show this past season.

Diana must have zoned out for the rest of the nominees, because before she knew it Tina opened her mouth to say, “And the winner for Favorite Reality TV  Star goes to…” before opening the envelope and announcing the winner in sync with Renee.

“Diana Hayes for Band Together!”

Biz shrieked next to the singer and the rest of the table stood up to shower her in praise and congratulations before she made her way to the stage. In utter shock, Diana began the journey to the stairs in shock that the public had chosen her as their favorite Reality TV star because of the way she stood up for herself. The proof was playing in the background behind her as she took to the stage.

Connor was still sitting on the armchair across from Diana, head in his hands, fake crying. Taking place moments after the last scene that played, Diana was still stone-faced, but heartbroken on the couch.

“I regret ever standing up for you, defending you. I regret supporting you and putting my career on hold for you. You’re worth nothing. And I want you to hear my words, the woman who stood by you and loved you, the woman who would have built my whole life around you, and know that’s how I feel about you. I regret ever loving you.”

Diana’s last words to Connor played over the speakers while the room applauded. The surreal feeling of people cheering after one of the rawest, most painful moments of her life played on a giant screen for everyone to watch.. At least she wasn’t Connor right now.

“Wow, really. I didn’t expect this at all, really. I didn’t even think of writing a speech because I thought this was impossible. Reality TV was never something I considered my thing. In fact, I quit before I even got nominated for this.” Diana joked and the audience gave a soft laugh, relieving some of the tension in the star’s shoulders. “Thank you to anyone who voted for me, watched the show, and streamed my new EP. Thank you for telling me that I still have a spot in this industry if I want it. Thank you to all my new friends who have shown me that my world didn’t crumble, it just got a cruel upgrade. I can’t wait to see you on tour!”

The crowd applauded and Diana heard wolf whistles coming from somewhere she couldn’t distinguish through the tears. She was in complete shock still, blown away by the fact that she had won a fan-voted award against the likes of a Kardashian. Walking off stage and to the press room, she heard the presenters for Favorite Reality TV Show come on stage. After the reading of the nominees, she heard the voice announce Band Together as the winner and watched the backstage monitor as the band ascended the stage.

Miles, the frontman of the group, approached the microphone first. “First of all, we’d like to thank the fans of our band and the show for voting for us, you all are amazing.” Kyle walked up next, “And next we’d like to thank the crew who works tirelessly on this show. The amount of hours you all put into us and the finished product is greatly appreciated.” Connor attempted to make his way to the mic, but Kyle and Miles stepped in front of him as Isla leaned into the microphone. “And finally, we’d like to thank the real reason this show even got recognized. We can’t say names, but you know who you are and your fanbase knows who you are. Thank you for being such a force and finding strength when it seemed impossible.” Music started playing the band off stage as Connor struggled against his bandmates. What they don’t tell you about some charismatic men is that other emotions besides happiness tend to be expressed just as big as their infatuation and happiness. The anger just tends to come at a time after you’ve fallen for the charm and flattery. Diana thanked God that she no longer had to deal with the outburst that came with his anger. 

Still buzzing from being on stage, Diana returned to her seat and checked her phone to mentally prepare herself for the next stressor of the evening: seeing Joe. Sometime while she was away from her purse, Joe had texted and said he’d landed and was on his way to the hotel with a bottle of champagne. Excitement mingled with the adrenaline from winning, easing her nerves about the fact that Joe was staying in her suite. Realistically, it made the most sense as most hotels were booked out all week for the PCAs and Diana would have a two-bedroom suite to herself when Biz left in about an hour and a half.

The rest of the show went on without anything unusual and before long the closing credits began to roll. Standing up with the rest of the group, the Hayes sisters began to say their farewells to the various entertainers who were now mingling amongst themselves. Normally, they would stay and socialize for a moment, but they were on a tight schedule.

“Excuse us, but we’ve got to leave ASAP!” Biz urged while Diana was still chatting with Dove and the Bailey sisters, Chloe and Halle.. Diana made eye contact with her sister just as the younger’s face twisted into a mischievous smirk covering her tipsy face. She opened her mouth again.

“I’ve got a plane and Di’s got a dick to catch, so we’re in a hurry,” the brunette said, her sister’s elbow making contact with her ribs halfway through the sentence. Chloe’s head was thrown back in a full belly laugh and Halle hid her blush behind her hands; the intensity of which only deepened with Dove’s quick response..

“Well, if it’s unsatisfactory and you need someone who knows their way around a lady, I’m always a phone call away,” Dove’s musical voice directed itself to Diana as she pulled her in for a kiss on the cheek. Diana was attempting to formulate a response, but Dove was pulled away by some other former Disney actor. Diana always froze up when pretty girls flirted with her, even if she knew those pretty girls were only joking.

“Damn, she’s got game,” Chloe wheezed between laughs, hugging Diana and Biz goodbye.

Diana spent the ride to her hotel trying to calm her remaining nerves. She and Biz parted ways when they exited the ceremony. Diana left in a blacked-out SUV with Tommy, one of her security guards, while Biz was accompanied by everyone else on Diana’s team.

Just as she was beginning to convince herself that Joe had flown here as an elaborate prank, her phone buzzed with a series of texts. Some of her anxiety faded when she read them.

Joe 

Going to try to do some of this puzzleWhat the hell.You’ve got to be missing pieces…

Diana couldn’t help but smile. At their last hangout, she had joked she was going to make him do a puzzle with her, but they found themselves otherwise indisposed. But the idea of ending such a mentally exhausting night doing her comfort activity with someone who was becoming increasingly more of a comfort for her sounded wonderful.

Sending a text when she got to the hotel to warn Joe of her imminent arrival, Diana took a deep breath and she opened the hotel suite door to face the rest of her night. 

“I feel completely out of place,” Diana laughed out loud at her state of overdress when she finally caught sight of Joe. He was sitting on the living area sofa in front of the puzzle, some History Channel documentary on in the background. He was dressed in a pair of comfortable sweatpants and a Bengals t-shirt that was much more appropriate for the comfort of the hotel room than Diana’s bedazzled dress and heels. 

Joe rose from the couch when he heard her voice, greeting her with a hug that wasn’t as awkward as Diana had expected it to be.

“Congratulations on your win!” Diana could hear the smile in his voice as he pulled away. “You look amazing.” 

“Thank you. Honestly, I was so nervous,” Diana responded meekly, stepping back and setting down her belongings. “You did great,” Joe said walking back to the couch and sitting down in front of the table.”I, on the other hand, cannot figure out this fucking puzzle.” A laugh escaped Diana’s lips as she peaked over the back of the couch. There was not much progress made on the 500-piece puzzle on the mat, but Joe had made diligent work of sorting the pieces by color. 

“You almost finished sorting, though! That’s the worst part.”

Joe turned his head to shoot her a confused look, causing another laugh to fill the room.

“Let me go de-glam and I’ll come help.” With that Diana excused herself to her bedroom. 

-

Diana felt much more comfortable after a quick shower and a change of clothes. Matching Joe’s vibe, Diana sat next to him in a pair of joggers and a tank top staring at the puzzle in front of them. Joe finished sorting the pieces from the box,  while Diana worked on the frame, both drinking champagne from coffee cups that Joe had found. 

“I swear, I tried to find all the end pieces, but there are so many pieces here,” Joe joked, finishing up with the last handful of pieces. 

“This is only 500 pieces you should see some of the 2000-piece ones I have at home,” Diana said proudly, finishing the frame.

“I knew you said you were into puzzles, but I didn’t think it was that serious,” Joe looked at her smiling. 

“They just help me relax, I don’t know. With my ADHD and anxiety, if I don’t keep my mind occupied I spiral.” It was something that Cathy had suggested while watching Diana struggle to manage her mental state during her last tour. Hoping she hadn’t brought down the mood, she glanced over at Joe, whose face still held a faint smile paired with his previous focused look.

“I’m going to be real with you, Di. I do not understand how this could be relaxing, but I totally understand the need to keep busy. I just usually just go to the gym or play video games, though.” 

“The gym is my literal worst nightmare,” Diana said, nose scrunched up. “It’s been mandatory to get ready for tour and it is so exhausting.”

“You just have to find the routine that fits you. If I had to do cardio all day, I’d hate it,” Joe reassured her.

Diana was pleasantly surprised at how easily she found herself relaxing after such an anxiety-inducing night as she and Joe worked on assembling the pieces into an image that resembled the melted crayons on the box.

“So, I saw your updated tour schedule,” Joe spoke, the casual tone in his voice sounding a little off. Diana knew he was referring to the fact that a handful of shows had been added throughout, including one in Cincinnati. 

“Yeah, we had to wait on approval from some venues before we could announce all the dates,” Diana said, placing another piece of the puzzle. She was trying her best to sound nonchalant. “I was going to ask if you wanted to come to a show, but I wanted to wait until I was allowed to mention there was one in Cincinnati.”

“I wouldn’t miss you performing in my city,” Joe looked over, smile shining bright. “I saw you were on a break after that one, I can show you around if you want.” “That sounds good,” Diana said, hiding her matching grin with her cup of champagne.. “I’ve actually never been there more than 12 hours.”

“We’ll have to give you the hometown treatment, then.”

Diana knew she couldn’t blame the fact that she was staring at Joe on the slight buzz she had when she realized Joe had stopped talking. She wasn’t even sure what he had said last before she zoned out looking at the creases by his eyes and the color of his lips.

A sense of guilt overtook Diana when she realized her mind had drifted to memories of their last hangout. She had spent all day trying to convince everyone, herself included, that she and Joe were just friends. Diana drained her cup trying to push all PG-13 and up thoughts out of her head.  Have fun, be safe. love you, Cathy.

Even her manager was plotting against her. With a deep breath, Diana refocused and left the room with a preroll, lighter, and fake composure. When she got to the living area of the suite, she saw Joe still working on the puzzle.

“I’m just going to step out on the balcony. Do you want to come?,” Diana’s voice must have startled Joe because he gave a small jump. Without a response, he stood up and followed her to the sliding glass doors. Once out on the balcony, Diana made sure the door was shut tight before sitting down beside Joe. He had made himself comfortable, sitting sideways on the lounge chair so it was more like a couch. Diana lit the preroll and inhaled the smoke. 

“I don’t know if you partake but you’re more than welcome to hit this,” her voice cut through the silence. The high clouding her thoughts, it was easy to forget how nervous she had been mere seconds ago. 

“I don’t get tested till June, fuck it,” Joe said, reaching out to grab the joint she was holding towards him. 

The two sat in silence for a moment, enjoying the commotion of the city and inhaling the medicinal herb. It only took a few passes before Joe started coughing, which turned into fits of laughter. 

“I figured you’d be a lightweight, but damn,” Diana giggled as she stubbed out the butt of the joint. After she was sure it was safely put out, she turned her attention towards Joe again.

“Hey, just because you’re fucking Snoop Jr doesn’t mean you can make fun of me,” Joe said with a smile plastered on his face.

“Snoop Dogg?!” It was hard to make out her words through her giggles. “I mean, I don’t know. I couldn’t think of anyone else! I don’t do this often.”

The two sat in their fit of laughter for a few more moments before silence fell over them. The worry that had filled Diana’s brain earlier returned to full force. It felt so natural to be with Joe, but the unrelenting feeling that she couldn't commit was weighing heavy on her at the moment. Joe turned his head to look at her, goofy smile still plastered in place, and asked her, “What are you thinking about?”

“You don’t want to know.,” replied Diana, voice barely above a whisper. 

“I wouldn't have asked if I didn't want to know.”

“I’m thinking that I don’t know if I’m ready to be more than friends, but I really just wanna kiss you.” “What if both of those things were okay with me?” Joe countered.

That’s all it took for Diana to launch herself at Joe, pushing his back against the the backrest of the lounge chair. Climbing up his body to straddle him, Diana made quick work of placing her lips against Joe’s jawbone. Trailing her way to his neck with sloppy kisses and biting lightly, Diana ground her hips into the growing erection beneath her pelvis. 

Joe released a groan into Diana’s mouth as her hands traced his biceps and chest over the cotton of his t-shirt. Grabbing a fistful of the material, Diana quickened the pace of her hips as her tongue licked against Joe’s. Diana felt the athlete’s strong arms move to wrap themselves around her smaller frame. Pulling back and taking a breath, Diana allowed Joe to say, “Let’s take this to the bedroom.”

Tightening his grip around Diana’s body, Joe stood up and carried her towards the room she had claimed as her own. Joe opened the door with ease and made his way to the bed in a few quick strides. Standing at the edge of the bed, he laid Diana down and took off his shirt. Diana found it difficult to take her eyes off of his broad shoulders and well-cut torso.

“Like what you see?” Diana could almost hear the smirk in his voice before she raised her gaze to his face. “Something like that,” her voice was so heavy with lust that she barely recognized it. Hooking her fingers in the waistband of Joe’s sweatpants she pulled him closer, causing him to kneel on the bed. Leaning down so that his larger frame was hovering over her, he connected their mouths again.

Diana felt a slight tug at the hem of her tank top as she heard Joe’s gruff voice ask, “Can I take this off?” Waiting for a nod of agreement, Joe pulled away and helped Diana strip herself of the flimsy material.  The hunger in Joe’s blue eyes deepened as his eyes raked over her chest before bringing his hand to massage her breast with his calloused hands.

The moan that Diana let out caused Joe to groan and buck his hips, finding his way back to the lips in front of him. Their hands roamed each other’s bodies for a brief moment before Diana’s hands slinked their way down the front of Joe’s waistband once more, pausing briefly before receiving the okay from Joe.

Diana’s delicate fingers reached down and wrapped around the warmth of Joe’s cock. It took everything in her to not react at the size of him. She had some idea that he was well-endowed based on their close proximity the last two times they’d hung out, but having him in her hand had shocked her. Not only was the length impressive, but Diana was unable to wrap her hand around his shaft fully. To say Joe was blessed was an understatement.

Shaking the surprise from her head, Diana began to stroke her hand slowly as her lips still moved against Joe’s. A groan of pleasure fell from Joe’s lips into Diana’s as one hand continued to massage Joe’s dick while the other began to push his pants and boxers down his legs. Kicking out of his clothing, Joe’s hands busied themselves, ridding Diana of her shorts and finding the sensitive nub between her legs. 

When his hands met the apex of her thighs, he was pleasantly surprised at how wet she already was for him. He spent a moment rubbing circles on her clit before inserting a finger inside of her. Diana gasped in pleasure as she felt herself stretch around the single digit before he added another one, preparing her for himself. 

Diana arched into his touch and let out a soft moan when Joe curled his fingers inside of her. The worries about what their relationship held fell from her mind as she gave into the pleasure she was feeling. The look on Joe’s face went from that of concentration to hungry satisfaction when he felt Diana’s walls clench around his fingers and the moan fall from her lips, a clear indication that she was eager for more.  With a grunt of approval, Joe used his thumb to tease her clit while she continued to massage his dick. 

Their blue eyes met as they continued to pleasure each other before Joe pulled away. Diana shot him a confused look as he began to fumble through the discarded clothes pile on the floor. A moment later, he looked up, a triumphant expression on his flushed face holding a gold foil packet. Diana’s confusion faded away when she realized what he was doing.

“Oh? Someone was expecting this,” she teased, mind flashing to the brand-new box that Cathy had left for the two of them earlier. 

Joe shook his head and replied, “Someone was hoping for this, there’s a difference. I just thought I should be prepared.” He tore open the foil packet and began rolling the condom over his erection. Diana was sure that she had never wanted anyone more as she watched him crawl onto the bed and position himself over her. With one hand he lifted Diana’s leg and with the other, he gave his dick two long strokes before he lined his head up with her slick entrance. 

Diana’s mind went blank with pleasure when Joe finally sank into her. Giving Diana a moment to adjust to his size, Joe caught her lips in a sloppy kiss until she bucked her hips into his needily. He matched her pace and broke the kiss. 

“Fuck, you feel so good,” his voice came out breathy and low, scratching a part of Diana’s brain that she didn’t know existed. This man was driving her absolutely feral she thought as she hooked her legs around his back.

Diana’s eyes fluttered shut as she lost herself in the pleasure building up in her core. When she opened them again, she locked eyes with a smiling Joe. “You’re so fucking beautiful.”

Before Diana could pull away in embarrassment, Joe caught her lips in another kiss and increased the speed of his thrusts. Any insecurity was pushed out of her mind with the rush of ecstasy that filled her mind. Diana’s body moved instinctually against Joe’s, falling into a needy rhythm. Head tilting backward, breaking the kiss, she released a breathy moan causing Joe to close his eyes, and stifle a groan. Joe’s rhythm stayed steady as Diana forced herself to focus on the the sensations happening within her body

“That’s right, babe. Good girl.” Joe said, smiling as wide as he had been on the balcony

Ecstasy mixed with the weed and champagne in Diana’s system as she was pushed over the edge into an orgasm. Chills ran down her spine as the pleasure caused her to arch her back and moan loudly. 

“You like that?” Joe questioned, smile turning slightly cocky. Diana nodded, still lost in the afterglow of her orgasm when she felt Joe pull out and tap her hips.

“Flip over,” he instructed, moving Diana’s body before she had the chance. Once positioned on her hands and knees, Joe made quick work in moving behind Diana and reentering her. 

Face pressed against the sheets, she felt Joe’s fingers tangle through her long hair and pull slightly. Carefully, she snaked her hand down between her legs and started rubbing quick circles on her sensitive clit. 

“Yes, Yes,” she chanted, sure her brain was going to turn to mush. Joe was moving quickly and sharply, hitting a spot that caused Diana’s vision to start blurring with each thrust. 

“That’s right baby, cum on my cock. Let me make you feel good,” the grunts came out breathy and in between thrust. That didn’t matter to Diana because the huskiness of his voice sent Diana over the edge again. 

The sensation of Diana’s pussy clenching must have sent Joe over the edge because without any indication his thrusts began to slow down and came to a stop. Before he pulled out, he leaned over and placed small kisses on Diana’s spine. 

“Thank you, that was incredible,” Joe responded, voice still gravely from their encounter. He pulled out and began cleaning up. 

“Oh, trust me. It was my pleasure,” Diana giggled. “I’ll be right back. Need to get cleaned up.” She grabbed the robe off of the hook on the door and slipped into the en-suite to freshen up. She was washing her hands after peeing when her post-nut clarity hit her. She had just fucked Joe. And loved it. But also, he seemed to understand that she wasn’t ready for a relationship so that was good. Unfortunately the “drunk on the toilet” intoxication also hit her, meaning that she was now panicking on how the rest of her night was going to unfold. 

“He said it was fine. You’re fine,” Diana said to herself as she paced the bathroom. Brushing her teeth to buy herself two more minutes, she finally calmed herself down enough to walk back into the bedroom. 

“So, do you want to finish the puzz-“ Diana’s question was cut off when she realized that Joe had fallen asleep, covered only in the bed’s top sheet. The drawer next to the bed was open, the box of condoms in his hand. 

Diana let out a small chuckle before removing the box from his hand and turning off the lights. She wasn’t so intoxicated that she couldn’t hear the little nagging feeling that said sleeping next to Joe tonight would not help her keep her feelings platonic after he blew her back out. However, the feeling of Joe’s arm pulling her into a cuddle when she crawled into bed told her she could deal with that come morning. 

-------------- I'm sorry if this sucks and that it took so long. Next chapter won't be so late. Love you taglist lovelies: @therapycat21 @rd14 @wickedfun9 @toterry @spookystitchery

[skyartworkzzz]

How did life in the cult looked like before Narinder was killed and Lamb ascended?

Were they a benevolent leader or a cruel one?

And has anything changed since Lamb ascended?

OKAY SO MILDLY LONG RESPONSE UNDER THE CUT bless chu for these questions mwehe love me rambling .w. 💜

Before Narinder was killed and Lambert was still his vessel, everyone was pretty much living a regular routine The only thing that changed over time on all the followers was their growing "weirdness" due to the Lamb's influence as their Leader xD

When Narinder was defeated and Lamb became the new God of Death, life carried out pretty normally afterwards, but now with the followers being much more devoted to the Lamb! Many who were once skeptical to their ways were converted too Im still questioning on whether the followers should be aware of who Nari used to be or not since- well they did see the whole ass fight in the game so I think itd be natural for them to know LMAO BUT IF THEY DO KNOW WHO NARI WAS, theres a chance some would make fun of him either on his face or on his back for what he is now: a follower just like them. Some would probably praise the Lamb at him, most would likely leave him alone........theres many possibilities, but overall theyd get used to his presence like any other fellow cult-mate x'D

Lamb has always been a kind, just leader who tried their best to make everyone comfortable in their new home at the cult, but that is not to say that when shit would get serious They Would Be Serious. Many difficult dissenters have already perished on their hands or were tortured to conversion While some followers felt a sense of familiarity with Lamby and treated them like a close friend, others were too scared or shy to approach despite knowing how nice they were Lambert never seemed to care much what others thought of them, but did try to put in the effort to at least leave a respectful and trustworthy image in their minds as their Leader At the beginning they never searched to develop stronger bonds with their followers, but as time went by after living with the same faces for a while, it just- happened xD

Once the Lamb's ascension started in order to become an official God, the cult slowly got more and more scared of their Leader, either for fear of who they were becoming or worry for who they were losing Many followers and Disciples that grew closer to the Lamb became overly concerned about their well-being, making sure to constantly check in whenever they noticed something was off The closer Lambert got to divinity, the more distance they started to place between them and the followers. Not because they wanted to, but because they were no longer able to relate to them and they to the Lamb (like friends growing apart for being interested in different things yk) Naturally, theyd feel lonely LOL and cling more onto Narinder since he is the only one who knows what they are going through (for the most part at least-)

ONE DAY ILL GET A GOOD AMOUNT OF COMICS AND A TIMELINE SET UP TO ILLUSTRATE THESE BETTER for now thats it </3

[taesanluv3r]

flower shop confessions.

kim woonhak x reader

another woonhak love confession story 😭 im sorry im just really obsessed w the idea of woonhak telling his crush he likes her and it cld go so many ways and i feel like i HAVE to put all my ideas out there TT ALSO this is rlly ass cause im still on my trip and didnt bring my laptop so pls pls excuse the spelling mistakes / grammatical errors 💔 i just REALLY needed to write this 😭😭 okay lowercase intended, pls enjoy <3

wc: 1,531

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listen to 1980s horror film by wallows while reading...!

he didn't know what it was. maybe it was the way she said his name, the way each syllable ran smoothly out of her mouth. perhaps it was the concern on her face when his clumsy self tripped over his own shoelaces, and the constant nagging and scolding she'd give him afterwards. it could be just…her in general. the way her hair fell down below her shoulders, how she wore her clothes in such a way so she wouldn't look as short as she really was. whatever it was, kim woonhak was completely and utterly, ridiculously in love with her...with yn ln.

yet he was absolutely oblivious.

sure he knew he felt something, why else would his heart beat faster when she was nearby? why on earth would his ears perk up upon hearing her name? even worse when he hears her voice. but the idiot was nothing more than a child, an immature little prick who couldn’t quite grasp the concept of being in love. these feelings confused him, there was no way he could understand them himself, he needed some help.

“what’s up, kid?”

myung jaehyun. arguably the best person to ask for advice from, and historically the worst! but hey, you live and you learn; not with jaehyun though, there is not a single thought in his head. “hyung i need your help, i was gonna ask taesan hyung but i figured he’d make fun of me…” he spoke naturally, not an ion of nervousness in his voice, but this was before he started to think about her again. “it’s yn, yn ln” he began, heart beating faster already. jae nodded his head slightly, allowing the younger boy to continue.

“i don’t know how i feel about her. i don’t think i like her like that, but whenever she’s around i just get so nervous and my whole body gets on this fight or flight mode. she makes me so…breathless? yeah, it’s like she physically stabbed me in the gut and stole all of my organs. i don’t get it, i used to be able to talk to her so easily but nowadays i just…can’t? not without panicking inside and stuttering. she’s ruining my cool guy persona!!! what do i do!?”

the senior boy let out a chuckle, finding the junior’s rant and obvious infatuation for the girl a little bit hysterical. woonhak was even more lost now, lifting an eyebrow up in utter confusion when his friend finally calmed himself down. “look kid, it’s obvious you have feelings for her. and it’s okay to not know what that feeling is. just go with your gut on this, and if you’re still unsure…give it a couple days and when you’re really desperate, tell her. tell her all the things you told me. i can’t guarantee you any great outcome, but maybe it’ll help” the younger boy nodded, bidding the myung guy goodbye before leaving the highschool’s library and deciding to get some fresh air on his walk home.

about halfway through his walk he felt a wave of goosebumps wash over his skin; it was odd considering the fact that the weather was exceptionally warmer today, not to mention the boy wore his school’s varsity jacket. what in the world could have caused this? and that’s when she saw her.

he sighed, the yellow-ish tint of the pretty fairy lights that combed the roof of the flower shop on the street illuminated against her skin. her hair had seemingly grown a little longer overnight, he’d know, for he remembered rather clearly that it hadn’t reached her collarbones the way it did today the day before. it was nearly six pm, but the girl still wore the star academy uniform, a white button-up with the red and blue skirt with her black sweater layered on top. she worked at the rose-scented shop after her lessons right after school three times a week, and today just so happened to be one of those days…

she was pretty, he has always thought so. ever since they bumped into each other at school one day, and coincidentally she moved into the same neighbourhood as him the next week. he had talked to her before, in fact, they were rather close. it was only recently he had been feeling different, just the mere sight of her sent grumbly butterflies to overflow his stomach. even when she did the most mundane things, like tie up her hair or take pictures of the pretty sunset, or like right now; helping some old lady pick the perfect flowers for a large bouquet…yn ln made kim woonhak’s heart melt into pieces.

he didn’t know how he got there, he must’ve been too deep in his thoughts to notice that his feet had taken him into the flower shop. the ding of the bell atop the door shook him out of his trance, and alerted the female worker. his friend, but as of right now he wanted her to be something more. “woonhak! just got back from dance practice? i hear the team has a competition at the end of the month” yn was cheerful as she rearranged some of the lavender that was left on her counter from her last customer. “mhmm, practice is going really good, heard you’re doing the decoration and costume for us?” his sentence came out breathier than usual, it was the unconscious worry that he’d say something wrong. she nodded before she began to silently sing along to the songs that shuffled from her playlist.

~ she was only seventeen, oh why are girls in songs always seventeen? ~

“is there anything i could help you with?” she asked, 1980s horror film by wallows blasting out of the vintage speaker she bought at a thrift store the other day. “yeah um, i thought, while i’m here, i should be a good child and get my mom some flowers. but if i’m honest, i don’t know what to get” he chuckled nervously, scratching the back of his head while she mirrored his movement; except she actually had an itch on her neck. “hmm, well your mom seems like a young soul who’s got a big heart. so i’d go with the poppies, lilies and ranunculus. they symbolise youth, innocence, grace and…what was it? oh! and joy”

she looked so passionate when she spoke, and after he had agreed with her choices, kim began to stare. not in a creepy way, of course. rather, he was enchanted by her focus; her tongue stuck out as she arranged the flowers, and he noticed her little huffs in annoyance when the loose strands of hair fell against her face. she looked so…in her element and all the boy could think was…’shit, she’s perfect’

~ she was from a movie scene, and now she plays in my head all day ~

“alright, here you go!” yn smiled brightly, handing the boy the bouquet and the pennies of change. “ah, thank you so much!” he mimicked her grin, heart-eyes all too obvious as he retrieved the flowers from her grasp. “anything else i could help you with?” she asked finally, tilting her head slightly as she did so. now was his chance, he’d have to play it smooth…it was now or never, kim woonhak had to confess.

he thought about his next move as if he were playing a game of chess. the advice he had gotten from jaehyun earlier retrograded in his mind. then he remembered where he stood, and i don’t mean that as in mentally, i mean physically; in a flower shop. just perfect.

“yeah, so basically i’m in love with this girl, and i wanted to know if there was a flower to say…eternal love? or you know, something of that sense” smooth one woonhak, smooth. there was a slight frown that casted upon the girl’s face, but before he could ask her what was wrong, she had straightened herself out and began helping him out. “yes! um- red roses, they’re a classic for this…here, i just un-thorned this one” her voice came out quieter, juxtaposing the way she usually was. instead of worrying him, her reaction gave him a slight bit of hope. he grabbed the single rose from her, thanking her before he pretended to leave. once he was at the foot of the door he turned on his heels,

"oh!"

he exclaimed, walking back towards her counter when she lifted an eyebrow at him in confusion. “this is for you, actually…so um, call me?” and he handed her back the rose, shooting her a crooked smile and quick wink before pacing out of the store to save himself from further embarrassment, just in the case that she didn’t feel the same.

later that evening, when kim woonhak laid on his comfy bed, the one with the tayo the little bus bed sheets he's had for ages, he felt a sickening feeling of nerves racking throughout his body. she still hasn’t called or texted. but all that worry was to be washed away when his phone chimed a familiar sound.

yn (pls love me 💔):

i love you too, woonhak <3 see you at school tomorrow? and thank u for the rose 🌹

...

SCORE!

the end.

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LMAOAOAO this was so random idk 😭 again sorry if this sucks balls im still away n dont have my laptop </3 love u guys tysm for reading. feedback n reblogs r greatly appreciated!! love, kona.

[keicordelle]

Yuki and Performativity: the autistic mask

(aka the analysis I've been trying to figure out how to format for like 3 weeks)

Okay, so now that Yuki's autism has been ~established~ (here, but I'm just going to pretend everyone was following along), I'm really really interested in the subtle ways that that presents itself in his characterization.

Because Re:member does a really great job of making it obvious, because it's written in Yuki's perspective (at least in vol 2) and so heavily flavored with his own though process. But It's equally present in his characterization in the anime (and I assume the game, but I'm not caught up so we're just going based on the anime here). And a lot of that time, that characterization is so delightfully subtle that I didn't even pick up on it the first time through. But now I'm obsessed and I'm Noticing Things and y'all must suffer with me. so.

I think it's fair to say that Yuki's blunt and cold nature are features of his autism. Also probably the fact that he is extremely awkward when it comes to emotions and, notably for this discussion, expressing them. (oh to be a fire extinguisher)

But he's also really good at acting. And I'm making some assumptions here based on my own experiences, but I figure this comes in large part from the amount of effort he puts into trying to read others. He picks apart other people's interactions to figure out why they're reacting certain ways because he doesn't Get It.

And so he uses that in his every day life. Like, you wouldn't really figure someone so extremely autistic and introverted would make for a very good idol, what with the whole "having to interact with people all day every day" thing -- and he didn't want to be an idol! He just wanted to make his music and have people appreciate it! In fact, he looked down on idols at first, which probably had more to do with him undervaluing their artistic integrity (or at least I imagine that's how he would frame it), but he is very explicit about how he doesn't like how people fawn over him (read: idols) because of their looks rather than on the merits of the music.

Anyway. One of the key features of his characterization is that he's always acting. Always. There are a handful of moments we see him in the anime where he's not playing a role, even and particularly when he's off stage.

I've talked before (here) about Re:vale's introduction and how from the very first moment we see them, they're On. Not just in their initial prank on i7 where they pretend to be serious and scary, but also in the bubbly happy personas they present afterwards. They drop one mask for another, and at no point are they ever not wearing their idol stage personas. This is relevant to i7 for reasons but for this discussion rant it's relevant because this is how Yuki engages with the world. There are only a handful of times where we ever see him truly drop his guard -- usually only when he's alone with Momo, and occasionally around Yamato, which will be relevant in a bit. (And one other very notable time towards the end of season 3, but we'll get there.)

Anyway. He's only ever comfortable when he's playing a role. Which is never explicitly established, and I love it all the more for that, because they're totally content to just let you pick up on that without shoving it in your face. But they introduce it in ways that are subtler than I even thought at first. Because at first I was like, "okay, well he's got his stage ikemen persona, and he's got his sillier tsukkomi routine, and he's got his darker prankster who genuinely seems to be enjoying your discomfort persona (which is probably the one among them that's closest to his reality, because he really does seem to enjoy teasing and making people uncomfortable even when he's not On)

But literally any time he has to engage with someone, he falls back on a performance. A myriad of them, in as many different faces as he needs. And even when he tries to be genuine, he'll fall back on that performative role as soon as someone offers him an out. He will become whatever other people need or want him to be, so long as it doesn't involve being himself.

We see this particularly clearly while Yamato's struggling with his role in Mission and Yuki comes to him in a genuine effort to help

You can see the transformation in Yuki's face : Yamato has offered him a role, and he is now going to take that and run with it.

He steps into that role as easily as that, and from there on out, everything he says, while still true to his own beliefs, is very heavily shaded by his new performance as a criminal psychologist. It makes it easier for him to express himself, because he's no longer Yukito Orikasa, fumbling his way through emotions that he's been told time and again that he doesn't express properly, he's Yuki, criminal psychologist, and that's something he can figure out how to be.

You can even see it in his gestures; from then on, they get extremely dramatic, very much what you'd expect in a stage play (moreso even than in a movie). Which works well considering this is an anime and dramatic gestures suit the medium, and that's probably part of why I didn't really notice that at first. Even his tone becomes more dramatic. You can hear it flowing up and down the scale of emotion, rather than his usual low, teasing edge. Really great direction all around tbh

We see this same sort of transformation in the next episode, while Yamato's staying with him, and honestly this scene makes it a whole lot clearer. Yuki does actually start off more himself in this episode because he's in his own home. He doesn't really want to go out of his way for Yamato, he's mostly helping him out of obligation, so the mask slips a bit.

He flits in and out of a couple different personas fairly rapidly at the start of their interaction. Even Yamato remarks on this, which I actually didn't realize until just now when I was skimming through to find the shot I wanted to reference. He's never fully seen Yuki with his metaphorical hair down before, and the change is remarkable

He offers Yamato some advice, rather against his own will. His countdown here is his "speak now if you want me to listen to your problems or else I'm leaving" ultimatum, and he fully intended to when he gets to zero. But he doesn't (which I think surprises them both), and when Yamato calls out to him, he stops and actually offers genuine advice, no persona there to filter it. And it's harsh, like he usually is when he's unfiltered, because he's Autistic As Fuck and doesn't really know how to be anything else no matter how hard he tries (as is very explicitly laid out in Re:member : he has tried, hard, and he just can't figure it out)

And then he immediately falls into another role, when it's clear he's going to be trapped in this conversation that he doesn't really want to be having. Which is equal parts to soothe himself and to piss of Yamato, I think. Maybe heavier on the piss-off-Yamato side of things, because for all that he's helping him, they really really don't like each other, and Yuki's really kind of an asshole at heart

And from here on out he fully embraces the mocking asshole persona he's chosen to adopt. The same thing happens: he becomes more expressive both in voice and gesture, and it both softens the blow of the harsh things he says and makes it worse.

And you can then see the exact moment Yuki realizes that he's Fucked Up this conversation and pushed things much much further than he expected or intended to

(a shot which is on the screen for like less than half a second and that I had to clip and go frame by frame through to get because my own autism is now Activated)

The next scene is, I think, rather intentionally ambiguous (at least at the start) as to how genuine Yuki's responses are. It's fairly well established that, despite his aichmophobia, Yuki doesn't really have a ton of self-preservation instinct when it comes to fights, so it's seems entirely reasonable that his continued efforts to poke at the already enraged bear are just, what he'd do and not a persona he's putting on

However, it becomes clearer further into the scene that this is indeed another performance for him. First here, somewhat subtly, where in the actual line of dialogue, he calls Yamato "Yamato-bocchan", which, while appropriately mocking, also places him very firmly in a role other than his natural disposition.

From here on out, it becomes fairly clear to me that he's reverted back to his role from Mission. Yukito Orikasa is shed once more (if he was ever truly present here), and Yuki the Criminal Psychologist has taken his place. Yamato's breakdown follows a similar script to his character's here, though his is genuine -- but Yuki reads the similarities and falls back into his psychologist role.

He then offers Yamato some advice that actually references Shizuo's own words, which is... a huge Dick Move in this moment but that is actually a super neat and subtle reference, especially because he genuinely thinks he's helping.

he's not.

And this part is fun because it then becomes a lot less clear if Yamato's clued in to the role he's playing and is now playing along with his part in the movie, or if he's really just genuinely doing this (it's the latter, but it teases the possibility for most of the scene)

But anyway, the point kind of got away from me. You see Yuki fall back on this acting any time he's in a situation he doesn't know how to handle -- or, well. Not just then, actually. Pretty much in any situation. He's more comfortable pretending to be someone else than he is being himself, and he'll default to that whenever he can get away with it. He maintains it even when he's alone with Momo a lot of the time (I have an headcanon about Momo knowing what it is he's doing and allowing him it, as a sort of kindness)

Of course, his dealings with Yamato are hardly the only time we see this so clearly presented. He draws any number of roles over him like a mask, and falls into whichever suits his needs -- perhaps most notably at the very end of season 3, where he dons the caricature persona of a thug in order to try to protect Momo. Which is, uh. Maybe not the best idea he's ever had but hey, it works, kind of, so more power to you, Yuki.

He (arguably) adopts this same sort of thuggy image earlier in the season, for much the same reasons, when he waits outside Ryo's apartment with a baseball bat (that he definitely does not know how to use).

However! Of particular interest is the scene where he confronts Touma, where he's actually not assuming some sort of role. This scene is pure, unadulterated Yuki, and that frightens Touma and Torao exactly the same way as it puzzled Yamato above.

This scene itself is more a commentary on his relationship with Momo than it is Yuki's performative nature, really, because it highlights very well the fact that he's willing to do anything for the sake of his partner. It's pretty clear to me that when he walks into the dressing room and when he first confronts Touma, he's not Yuki the Badass, he's Yukito Orikasa, desperately trying to track down his partner.

Like, this is very much Yuki's real personality, not one of his endless roles

And that is precisely what gives him the edge here. Touma and Torao are really not expecting him to be so cruel and careless. They're used to Idol Yuki, handsome and flippant and appeasing. Not Yukito, entirely willing to stomp all over the law if it means saving Momo from danger

This is one of the only times that Yuki lets his true colors shine so obviously true. Usually Momo or Rinto is there to remind him to be aware of his station and to keep himself in check, but Momo is in danger and Yuki Does Not Care about the consequences, because at the end of the day, he's cold and calculating and absolutely nothing like the friendly persona he puts on, and he's only really doing this because he's passionate about music, not because he loves being an idol

Anyway. I guess all that sums up into: Yuki, first among the Autists, hides behind different masks so often that everyone around him is startled when he drops them, including himself a lot of the time. And that the show (and presumably the game) does a really incredible job of presenting this incredibly subtly

[mosaickiwi]

Fall Unto Me (epilogue hehe)

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4

Demon!Ren and Angel!Angel my otp!!! I think saying I won't write anymore compels me to write more somehow................... sowwee I just keep lying :3c

cw// religious themes

14 Days With You is an 18+ Yandere Visual Novel. MINORS DNI

💜🖤💜🖤💜🖤

Moonlight gleamed on the gentle waves pushing back and forth to meet the shore. You sat at the water’s edge with your lover, legs curled under you to lean against his side, your fingers drawing shapes in the wet sand that only lived a few fleeting seconds, then washed away in the water's wake. 

The blue eyed demon kept an arm around you for warmth. You still felt cold, sometimes even during the day. It bothered him more than you. Ren silently watched you etch shapes, though they didn't pay as much attention as usual. He was lost in thought.

Almost a year had gone by since the dreaded night that wouldn't leave their mind in peace, when heaven had burned away all you’d ever known without a care for the loneliness you felt afterwards. A nightmare that was sure to stain decades of eternity with you. Centuries past his own damned fall from heaven's gate, they still found a way to punish him.

Your heart healed quickly with his doting and comfort, but the physical scars remained. Each morning was a glimpse of heaven and hell. He was always awake before you, but to ever leave your side would pain them like nothing else. So he waited. You'd open your eyes, smile at him as if he was the paradise you'd treasured dearly—how could you still choose to grace a monster like them with your sacred beauty? Your presence? Your love?—then crawl from the sheets to stretch and start your day. 

The two jagged streaks of seared flesh on your back greeted him like a cruelly blinding sunrise. He could only wonder where everything went wrong.

He hadn’t meant for it to happen so soon. Your fated fallen angel had already waited millennia to meet you again, and he was intent on waiting infinitely more until you were ready. Because they knew you’d eventually come to desire him, to yearn for their embrace above all others. But you’d fallen—both in love and divinity—faster than he dared to wish for. Nevermind a thousand years, you were taken with him in barely a day, even if it took you much longer to realize the gaze you set upon him in the setting sun was more than just curiosity. 

It must have been destiny’s twisted attempt at design. He didn’t expect you that day in heaven’s library, but they were meant to belong to you from the moment— 

“Ren,” you spoke as softly as the ocean’s gentle breeze. Still, they heard you loud and clear through the muddled sea of their mind. You were the only being who could ever pull him ashore. Or astray. 

“Yes, little angel?” he answered. The nickname burned in his heart to use now, but the way your eyes glittered with love like the moon and stars above when they said it… he yearned for that happiness to last as long as it could.

“Did I spell it right?” He cast his gaze to where you pointed. Just out of the crawling reach of lapping waves, you’d written something in the starlit sand.

They’d written your name thousands, maybe even millions of times over and over to keep him sane enough to find his only solace in you. Seeing it here, finally in your own handwriting was something else entirely. He’d commit it to memory.

“Exactly right,” Ren smiled down at your handiwork and leaned over to write the three letters of his name under yours. They were all he could remember of the real name heaven had stolen away. Though it’d been so long that he wasn’t even sure if they were correct.

You stared for a moment, then drummed your fingers on your thigh. “Your real one was certainly longer than this,” you muttered to yourself. 

Your companion absently nodded, those innocent words haunting him with another memory. He’d spilled his heart out months ago in a moment of weakness, one morning when the sight of your scars broke him. About the real first time you met, his own fall from grace, his sinful intentions to take you with him some day. Everything that he feared would make you hate him. It was a way to punish himself further. Heaven’s permanent reminder wasn’t enough—but you forgave everything with ease like the angel you truly were. 

I’d go through it all again if it meant you’d be mine, you told him. As if it was a simple choice. You were more upset to hear that you couldn’t call his true name. That worthless excuse of a god had made a mistake to let you go—one Ren would never even think to make.

The demon had developed an odd habit of brooding. You kissed his cheek to get his attention, one hand lacing through theirs. “Ren, there’s nothing to worry about. Why don’t we go swim? Or take a walk?”

He meant to answer, but a harsh shiver suddenly tore through your body. You felt cold again, even to him. A lance of pain from his own ill fated guilt, and he carefully stood, lifting you into his ink-stained arms. “Let’s go home.” You were clearly about to frown, and he had to correct himself. “Little angel, let’s go home.”

Not even the moon could outshine the immediate smile you brightened his world with.

[onceuponapuffin]

Fanatic Intervention Part 17!!!

Okay, it's been a bit so quick recap: We just spent the evening at a dive bar singing karaoke and learning that 1) Jesus is a 13-year-old rich white kid with rich parents living in L.A. and 2) Muriel is missing. The Angel of Sardis gave us a lovely fishbowl (alcoholic drink since no one in this world has bothered to ask Reader's age because I have more room to play that way) as a reward for singing Taylor Swift (Shake it Off). We pick up our story The Morning After.

Also, since the poll about Sardis tied, I'm taking it to mean that everyone needs/wants more time with him to figure him out. Fortunately people also voted to bring him along, so we get to have LOTS OF THAT!! :D

Brandenburg Concerto No. 3 in G Major for anyone who's curious.

What music do you think Anathema likes??

Let's do this!!

Beginning || Previous || Next

**********************************

The next morning you sit at the table in the dining room of the massive Ritz hotel suite, staring into your coffee. You have a headache, and no one else seems to be faring too much better. If only it was just a hangover. A miracle from either Aziraphale or Crowley could fix a hangover, but there was no way that a miracle of any size could make your situation any less bleak.

Aziraphale, angel that he literally is, had thought to order in breakfast from the kitchens. You look from your coffee to the waiting plate of pancakes, eggs, and bacon, heaving a sigh. Jesus, if and when you find him, is an entitled teen. Muriel, friend and precious, is missing. Things are...well, it’s hard to feel happy or optimistic right now. Your companions aren’t faring much better as far as you can tell. Crowley is staring at his phone with a frown, the sound effects of Candy Crush drifting across the otherwise silent table. He’s playing at non-chalance, but you know Distraction As A Coping Mechanism when you see it. Aziraphale has barely touched his food, focusing more on alternating between stirring his tea, and sipping it only to add more sugar. The drink must be nearly syrup by now. Anathema keeps dangling her pendulum, pausing, then setting it down to re-cast her rune stones. You’ve noticed that they keep landing up the same way. Well, you need fuel in your system if you’re going to deal with all of this, so you reluctantly cut a slice of pancake with your fork and bring it to your mouth.

The silence stretches. Well, except for the ambiance; Candy Crush, spoon stir, runes cast, pancake slice. Candy Crush, spoon stir, runes cast, pancake slice. Candy Crush, spoon stir, runes cast, bacon – mixing it up a little. Candy Crush, spoon stir, runes cast

BAM!!!!

The door of the suite slams open, and there stands Sardis with his foot in the air.

He kicked the door down. What...on….earth…

“I FOUND HIM!” Sardis stomps into the suite toward the table, waving his phone in the air, “I FOUND HIM! I knew I’d seen his face somewhere, and I found him!!”

Crowley sits up straight for once in his life. “Who THE FUCK gave him a key?!”

You avert your gaze. The fishbowl was delicious, and he patted your head afterward and told you everything would be okay! Not your fault….entirely.

There isn’t much time for you to contemplate your guilt because Sardis has turned up the volume on his phone, and pressed play on a Tik Tok video. He turns his phone so that you all can see the screen. A boy with dirty-blonde hair is smiling out of it. His hair is longer in the middle and pouffed up with what is probably a standard-teenager’s worth of hair gel, and the sides are very short with...dollar signs shaved into them. It’s just a Tik Tok video, but you can smell the Axe body spray from here.

“Hey guys!” The smiling teen calls, waving at the camera. “It’s me, ya boy Jeremy. I’m bringing back my most popular series. That’s right! You asked, and I’m answering your prayers! Time to bring back Let’s See What I Can Get Away With Because I’m RICH.”

Your face twists in disgust, and you hear Anathema groan.

“I think we’ve seen quite enough,” Aziraphale says, speaking for you all.

“Are...are you sure that’s Jesus?” You ask. Honestly you’re hoping it’s a joke. You’re hoping beyond hope that this...this...caricature of a person is not the same person who you need to convince to help you save the world.

“Oh yeah,” Sardis replies, “That’s him. Right name and everything.”

“Wot? Jeremy?” asks Crowley with an edge of salty sarcasm.

“No,” Sardis says, “His true name. I know everyone’s, remember? It’s the right kid, you have my word on that.”

Truth be told, you’re still not exactly sure what his word is worth, but for now it’s a lead. You glance at Anathema, who shrugs.

“Fits the bill,” she admits, “All my readings have been...unsettlingly clear about the kind of kid we’re looking for, and I mean...” She gestures helplessly at the phone and the video that Sardis has, thankfully, paused. You blink, dumbstruck. Aziraphale said something last night about Heaven cutting corners. Apparently they had cut the corners so thoroughly they’d made a circle.

Great.

******************

Breakfast suddenly became easier after that. Maybe it was because Sardis was the only one who wasn’t completely despairing over everything, and maybe it was because he was suddenly helping himself to the plates of excess pancakes, bacon, and eggs. Suddenly, you noticed Aziraphale wave a finger and the food was hot again – trying to impress company, or be a good host, or both no doubt. You found that your appetite had suddenly returned, along with your need for caffeine. Even Crowley had grabbed some bacon now that, perhaps, there seemed a less likely chance of him having the choice if he waited any longer. Sardis did most of the talking, explaining that the shortest driving route would take 28 hours. Best to get started asap then.

“I am not listening to anymore of your….Us songs!” Crowley growls at you as soon as you get in the car.

“Not all of them are love songs!” You protest.

“No! No breakup songs either!”

“Fine, fair, but what about -”

“And especially no End-of-the-World songs!” He snarls. You’re pretty sure he’s halfway to hissing at you now. “We have enough of that to deal with assss is!” Ah, there it is.

Ever-so-gently, Aziraphale takes the phone out of your hand.

“Perhaps it’s about time someone else had a turn,” he says. Ah, so he’s finally gotten tired of humouring you and your taste in music. Well, it had to happen eventually.

Unfortunately, this means that you all end up listening to Brandenburg Concerto No 3 in G Major. Well, it could be worse, you figure. At least this song has movement to it, even if it does feel endless based on your musical standards. Crowley is driving and silent, Aziraphale is waving your phone around in the passenger’s seat like a conductor’s baton. The backseat is as follows – You, Sardis, and Anathema.

Yes, Sardis is there. Considering the way he found Jesus – or, Jeremy – so quickly, and the way he seems to be single-handedly keeping everyone’s morale afloat, it seemed a waste to leave him behind. Besides, both Crowley and Aziraphale had tried to make him leave, but he just….stayed. In the end, you pouted, they gave up, and now he’s sitting in the middle of the backseat, because you and Anathema have seniority.

Speaking of Anathema, you notice her very pointedly staring out the window. She looks...stiff. Maybe classical music isn’t her thing? Your suspicions are confirmed approximately nine minutes later when she practically jumps up from her seat and grabs the phone out of Aziraphale’s hand and presses stop. The music comes to a halt and silence fills the SUV. Aziraphale looks shocked and appalled.

“Anathema!” The angel exclaims after a moment. You can practically hear him clutching at his non-existent pearls. You can see him resisting the urge to clutch at his bowtie. “We weren’t even finished the Allegro!”

Anathema takes a deep breath. You’re able to count out a solid beat of ten before she speaks.

“I...am not...listening to classical concertos for 28 hours. I don’t care what key it’s in or how many allegros it’s got!”

Crowley snickers and snorts. “Concertos don’t work like that.” He says. You see Aziraphale gently pat the demon’s knee as if to say ‘that’s my man.’

“Well what would you rather?” Is what Aziraphale actually says, “More bebop?”

“Try me, and I’ll play death metal, I swear I will.”

“Um,” Sardis ventures cautiously, “Can I see that for a minute-- thank you.” He plucks the phone out of Anathema’s hand. After a minute or two of swiping, he taps the screen, and the car fills with songs from well-known musicals. Now, although this isn’t exactly to everyone’s taste, no one can find a good reason to outright hate it. No one can manage to find a good reason not to put up with it, and so by the time Music of the Night has melted into Seasons of Love, everyone has settled down and accepted that things aren’t actually all that bad.

“Impressive,” You mutter, basking in the semi-content vibe. Everyone is still a little on edge, but it feels less intense now.

Sardis smirks. “Six siblings,” he says to you with a small nudge.

“What happened to the others?” Anathema asks, tuning in to the conversation.

“Well,” Sardis sighs, “Of the seven of us - myself, Smyrna, Pergamum, Ephesus, Philadelphia, Thyatira, and Laodicea - Smyrna and Philly were the only ones who didn’t get hate mail. Smyrna was always super into the doctrine. She drank the kool-aid, as the humans here would say, and felt it her calling to ‘return home,’ as she put it. Bullshit, honestly. We weren’t born angels, we were made alongside the churches of Christ. ‘S one of the reasons why they don’t actually give a shit about us.”

“And why you worried that your miracles might get taken away,” You add, putting some of the pieces together. Sardis nods. “Wait, a minute,” You say, “You were made??”

Sardis laughs. “Alright Little Moth, you need to pick a lane here. Do you want to hear about my siblings or how I was born human?”

“You were BORN HUMAN?!” You are practically bouncing right now. What...how… “But you said that you can’t change your species!”

“I said your Miracle Enabler can’t change your species,” He replies with a twinkle in his eyes, “Not that it can’t be done. The seven of us were all born human. We made the first seven churches, so we were made guardians, lower angels. Like...lower than whatever the lowest type of angel you know of is. But we weren’t created as angels like your friends in the front seat.” Movement catches your peripheral vision, and you notice Crowley shifting a little in his seat. No doubt that’s a touchy subject that only Aziraphale is allowed to go anywhere near, but he says nothing. “So they all pretend we don’t exist, and look down on us whenever they need to deal with us. Sort of like we’re --”

“Oh, don’t worry,” You interject, “I read enough fantasy to understand the way magical societies view human-born magic users.” You can imagine that being An Angel of God would probably get old real fast if everyone who was supposed to welcome you actually hated you and made sure you knew it. Goodness knows it got to Aziraphale eventually, makes sense that a human-born angel (a huboan? You’ll work on it) would get sick of it a lot sooner.

“And that’s why I like you Little Moth,” Sardis says with a chuckle and a wink. “Anyway, so I know Smyrna went to Heaven. Philly stayed here. The two of us have always been really close, she stuck with me and we messaged and called and visited all the time until recently. I got some messages from her when the world went nuts during the first apocalypse, but I haven’t heard from her since. She stopped replying to my messages.”

Now it’s your turn to shift uncomfortably in your seat. Your eyes drop to your feet and start to fill with tears, so you change your view to the one outside your window.

“I can relate,” You say after a moment, holding back a sniffle and a sob. Deep breath. “Well, I’m glad you’re sticking with us.” You plaster a smile on your face and turn back to him. “Maybe we can find her.”

He smiles. “That’s what I’m hoping.” For a while, everyone is silent. After a few minutes, Anathema offers to put together a playlist with everyone’s favourite songs. The mood shifts considerably as the five of you spend the next few hours excitedly making musical suggestions.

It’s the best collection of music you’ve ever heard.

❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ 🖤

Beginning || Previous || Next

[hobiebrownismygod]

Hey!! I love your acc sm sooo I have a request ^_^

I’m not sure if you’ve done something similar to this already, but my request is how the spider gang would reveal their identity as spider man/spider woman to the reader. It could be a list of headcanons or a fic, whichever is better 😭

ty!

wait I love this im glad you requested it its so cute!! I decided to do head canons rather than fic cuz I think that makes more sense, so here you go! thank you for requesting <3

______________

Hobie ⋆｡°✩

If you guys were roommates or lived together, he'd probably just show up one day in his suit and not say a word about it. He'd act like it was the most normal thing and if you really wanted to know how it'd happened, or when it'd happened, he'd beckon you over with a smile and hold you in his arms while he answered whatever questions you wanted him to answer (as long as they weren't about his canon events. he doesn't talk about those) If you guys didn't live together, he'd just tell you out of the blue on some random Tuesday. You probably wouldn't take it seriously at first, but after a while you'd realize he wasn't joking and you'd eventually get used to him being a superhero. It definitely made things easier now that he didn't have you questioning why he was showing up all bloody at night and turning everything that went into the washer red and blue.

Miles 1610 ⋆｡°✩

He'd be pretty scared to tell you at first, because he'd be terrified that you'd leave him, or that you wouldn't be into the idea of being with a superhero. He'd put it off for as long as possible until he'd muster up the courage and just bring it up out of the blue. You could be in the middle of telling him about your day or asking him about homework and he'd just rip open his jacket and show you his suit and go "I'm Spiderman!" The two of you would just stare at each other in shock until one of you broke the silence. After that, he'd be pretty relaxed though, like a huge weight was taken off his shoulders.

Pavitr ⋆｡°✩

He'd probably come up with a whole plan on how he was gonna tell you, whether it'd be taking you out on a date, or slowly easing you into it or even surprising you like it was a pregnancy announcement with a weirdly cut card or a balloon(😭). It'd be a very intricate plan. Except he'd see you and his mind would go blank and he'd just blabber out the fact that he's Spider-man and you'd just stare at him in shock. It'd take you a second to really let it sink in but he'd answer all your questions eventually, and he'd make sure to share everything with you because he hates keeping secrets.

Gwen ⋆｡°✩

She'd sit you down and have a talk with you about it. She'd put a lot, and by a lot I mean a lot, of thought into the whole thing. She'd plan out what she was gonna say and what she was gonna do and (unlike Pavitr) she'd stick to her plan all the way through. It would probably end in her hugging you for a pretty long time and not wanting to let go until she was completely sure that you were okay with her secret identity. She's pretty scared of losing you. Afterwards the two of you would laugh it off and you'd probably go out to grab a snack or catch a movie. It would definitely be a huge stepping stone in your relationship together and she'd be very fond of this moment for the rest of her life.

[ardentkurashk]

[☺ Ka'zalii - Knight of the Silver Void☺]

1. [CHARACTER INFO]

OC NAME: Ka'zalii

OC PRONOUS: He/Him

AUTHOR: @ardentkurashk

2. [DIALOGUE]

1. Greeting message:

Do you have something for me, ra'stil?

2. Identify yourself:

Ka'zalii. I serve the Sha'sal Khou as kith'rak, though it was not always so.

3. Tell me about your Creche:

Xal'i'n is far from here, in the depths of wildspace. It orbits a long dead planet that my kin made much use of. Searing storms of glass and sand and ethereal creatures are good for removing the weak. [He pauses, lost in uncomfortable memories for a moment.] I left long ago.

4. I need to know how you fight:

I trained with many weapons as a yank, though I find the blade most useful. I am a sorcerer first and foremost however and my innate talents manifested wilder than most. My magic can be.. unpredictable. [He lowers his voice.] Useful in battle more often than not, but don't stand too close.

5. Can I ask a more personal question?

Yes, I enjoy our conversation.

6. What is your relationship with the divinity?

Tas'ki, I assume you mean Vlaakith? Kain'cha. I bear no love for the lich queen. Neither should you, if you have wits about you. She is no god.

7. What do you usually do in your free time?

I enjoy collecting gems of all kinds and selecting the most striking for my armour. [He points to the series of gems set into his chestplate as he speaks.]

I also like to cook, it's oddly relaxing. There are dozens of ways to cook neogi for instance and I intend to know them all.

8. What is your life goal?

To unite our people under one sky of course, what else? The removal of the tyrant queen is but the first step. And perhaps, we might all enjoy a life of freedom afterwards.

9. How is your relationship with your allies?

Allies. Or, that istik word, friends. I had never put much thought into alliances before I became stranded on an istik world. Since then, forging bonds has become extremely important to me. We are nothing without our strongest kin.

10. Do you have someone special in your life?

G'lyck. Very personal, ra'stil. I will answer. I do have a mate and she is very dear to me. She is as beautiful and formidable as the astral sea itself. She is my silver.

11. Say something you would never do, and why?

As tempting as it is to mention the tyrant again.. I must learn to be less zealous around kin who are already allies. So, I will say.. you would not find me anywhere near a humid climate. That is more of a nightmare than any ghaik could conjure.

12. What is a perfect day to you?

A glorious battle perhaps? No? We fight almost constantly, I have learned to look forward to days where I can just.. be. Our people do not set aside enough time for talking.

13. How do you celebrate a victory?

With my mate. Some pilfered drink and well cooked food also does wonders for morale.

14. How do you deal with defeat and losses?

I learn from them. We persist, as all githyanki must, but we will not achieve victory if we don't study our mistakes.

15. How do you think you will be remembered after death?

Ideally? As a catalyst for change, for resistance. Though it is just as likely I will be remembered as a dissident, or not remembered at all. It is no matter, it will not stop me from remaining faithful to my ideals.

3. [GRAPHICS]

4. [BONUS RESOURCES] The reference I finally put together for him.

whew I finally did the post, sorry for taking ages, @vikintor

[xxchaosjojoxx]

Can I ask for Penguin trying to throw Reader a surprise party for their birthday? 👉👈 I feel like he'd do everything to make it work but of course the Heart Pirates might get in the way a bit lol.

A/N: OMG I love your Penguin requests so much. I had to work on it as soon as I saw this. Thank you for sharing your prompts with me. I hope you won’t ever get tired of our Penguin boy <3

Penguin was sleepless. Your birthday was coming up and he wanted it to be the best birthday you ever had. Sure you didn’t like surprises but this time it will be an exception, right? After he sat up, wrote all of his ideas on a piece of paper he was happy and went to sleep. Unable to know that his roommate and best friend, Shachi, was observing him, a grin on his face.

The next morning, Penguin did notice you but it was more of a monologue whenever you were talking to him. He nodded or shook his head, using single words as an answer, Always nervous whenever you were around. You knew that your lovely boyfriend was planning something for you. He bought a few decorations back on the island, were looking in different shops and even was looking with Bepo at various cakes back there. You sighed, surprises are not to your liking, you would be far happier, celebrating with him and the whole crew without this. You would love to help him organize everything, so you could do it together. Whenever you saw Penguin during the day, he was looking at every side, hoping that no one would notice him. Whenever he got to hear your voice and got a glimpse of you, he shrieked, blushed nervously and ran away while stuttering an apology. He was too cute when he acted like this.

Shachi and Ikkaku were looking at him in amusement, especially after Shachi told the whole crew about Penguin’s to-do list. They knew that you hated surprises and they loved to see Penguin in a nervous panic state. Maybe they were sadistic, especially when Shachi and Ikkaku joked about ruining his efforts just to watch the chaos unfold. You were sitting beside him, and they were surprised to see you there, they didn’t notice you before. “How much did you hear, y/n?” You smiled at Ikkaku. “Enough. It is pretty sadistic to mess up all of his efforts just to have something to laugh about. But maybe you could mess it up, to the point he gives up and organizes it with me together, without the surprise factor.”

They looked at each other and suddenly laughed. “You wanna see your boyfriend crying like a baby, y/n?” Shachi couldn’t help but laugh, he couldn’t get enough breath.

“Nah. You shouldn’t do this to this point. It will be enough, if things go unplanned.”

So they did. Bepo was playing with some balloons and they burst into tiny pieces. “Oh sorry about that Penguin.” Bepo said with an apologetic look. Penguin couldn’t help but sigh. “It’s ok, but why did you play with them in the first place?”

“They looked like balls. And we minks love balls.”

Penguin was scratching his neck. First of all Jean Bart and Hakugan ate the cake he prepared, then Ikkaku used the gift wrapper for decoration and messed it up. Shachi was always with you searching for him. It felt like everyone wanted to destroy his special surprise for you.

With a sigh, he let himself fall on the ground. His back was against the railing on the deck, as he closed his eyes, feeling the wind on him. The sun was shining on him, until a shadow blocked the warming sun in his sight. As he looked up, he saw your beautiful smile. “Here you are, cutie.” You gave him a chaste kiss and sat beside him.

“Everything ok?” He looked at you, with a sad smile on his lips. “I wanted to do something to surprise you.” You pretended to be shocked and confused. “For my birthday? Penguin you don’t have to do this. I don’t even like surprises but I love the fact that you were thinking about me.” You gave him another kiss, this time on his cheek and hugged him afterwards. “We can celebrate it together ok? You don’t have to organize everything alone. How about we just sit together that day, have some cake and fun with the rest.” He nodded while hugging you tight. “I would love to.”

The day went by without any more incidents, he enjoyed spending some more time with you. What you didn’t know was that he was secretly grinning, knowing his plan worked perfectly.

On the day of your birthday, he escorted you to the kitchen, where everyone was waiting for you and shouting “SURPRISE AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” You were confused and speechless. They messed everything up, and it worked, so why were they sitting there, happily grinning at you. The kitchen and the dining room were decorated.

You looked at Penguin. “I thought…But how? They messed everything up…You were with me the whole time.” You couldn’t help but stutter and stumble over the words. You were stunned you didn’t expect this outcome at all.

With a grin he was jumping on the top of the table and revealed a banner.

“Surprise “You thought they messed up the surprise party” Party.”

“I know that you hate surprises. Seeing you happy and enjoying seeing my misery was all part of my plan. You had a lot of fun watching me suffer back there, right?” YOu felt embarrassed and tried to look away. Your boyfriend, Penguin, jumped from the table and hugged you tightly. “You thought that everyone was helping you, but in fact they helped me with everything.”

You hid your face into his chest, feeling safe in his embrace. “I’m the worst girlfriend ever, right?”

He shook his head and cupped your face to kiss you gently. You didn’t wanna let go of him, wanted to taste his lips even more. As he pulled away, you could see a soft smile and his eyes under his favorite hat. “Of course not. I did it on purpose so you could enjoy it. Seeing you smile like this, is the best I can do and to ask for. “ He brought my hands to his lips and I couldn’t help but feel the heat in my cheeks. “Plus my plan worked and you got a surprise party. So it’s a win-win situation.”

He pulled you into a hug once more, stroking your hair and leaned in, so he could whisper into your ear. “Even though surprises are not your thing, I have another one in my room for you.” You giggled and pulled away, looking at him directly. “But Penguin, I don’t want a gift nor another surprise.” He was smirking. “Oh trust me, I think you would be up for this kind of surprise tonight.” It now clicked on your mind and you couldn’t help but fantasize about what he exactly means. “Wait what are you impl-” He cut you off with a wink before he pulled his hat back further into his face. This man was trouble and you couldn’t help but be excited.

[silverwhittlingknife]

hi Silver! o/ because that fanart made me wonder - would you happen to know when/where Dick's stuffed elephant plush Zitka turns up in the comics?

GREETINGS CAM <3333 THAT ART WAS SO CUTE

Yeah, I think your instincts are right - it's a truly adorable bit of transformative fandom, but I'm 95% percent sure it's not comics canon. Barbara has canon plushies, but I don't think anyone else does.

I got kinda invested in the investigation (it's hard to prove a negative!) and I ended up typing out an entire History of Elinore/Zitka, so, uh, if you're curious, meet me below the cut for:

Where does Elinore / Zitka - the animal - appear in comics?

Did Dick ever have a stuffed elephant toy in comics?

Where does Elinore / Zitka appear in comics?

We're gonna go in chronological order!

Dick's circus elephant friend was first created for practical reasons: in Batman 436, Marv Wolfman does a big expanded flashback to Dick's circus backstory as a way to subtly show us Tim before officially introducing him (so that we can have a technically-solvable mystery-of-Tim's-identity in LPoD). In this comic, there's an elephant named Elinore who loves Dick:

Aww. Such a cute elephant!

Batman 436 comes out in August 1989. New Titans 60 comes out a few months later, in November, and guess what? When Dick visits the circus, he is suddenly surprised by an unexpected blast from the past! It turns out that even though it's been years, Elinore still remembers him!

Here's the part where Elinore remembers Dick:

SUCH a cute elephant. I love her.

(Guess who else still remembers Dick even though it was so long ago. Guess which other character is about to be an unexpected blast from the past. Guess which character Elinore is directly paralleling guess guess guess sorry everything is about Dick and Tim in my mind but I can focus I swear)

Four years later, in 1993, Batman: The Animated Series retells Dick's origin story. They like and keep Wolfman's elephant, but they change her name to Zitka:

Wolfman doesn't return to the elephant beyond those two appearances, and a few years down the line, New Titans gets cancelled and Wolfman's not writing Dick anymore anyway. So the animal gets abandoned for a while, until Devin Grayson, a fan of both Wolfman and B:tAS, revives the Wolfman-era Titans team in JLA/Titans and then the ongoing series Titans 1999.

Grayson then brings back the elephant in a flashback to Dick's past in Titans 16 (Jun 2000), where she imports the B:tAS name. Sometimes I'm skeptical of TV-to-comics imports, but honestly, I endorse this one. You lose the alliteration, which is a shame, but IMO Zitka is a better elephant name than Elinore.

Here's Dick with the newly-christened Zitka in Titans 16:

Grayson also briefly references the elephant in Gotham Knights 20 and - in a final angsty callback - in Nightwing 88 (Feb 2004), where Zitka tries futilely to comfort Dick in the midst of his trauma conga line:

... And... honestly, I think that's it for comic appearances? The two Wolfman comics plus the three Grayson comics.

Both Wolfman and Grayson are writing multiple titles - Batman, New Titans, Titans, Gotham Knights, and Nightwing between the two of them, spanning a big chunk of Dick's post-Crisis canon - and both writers use the elephant for heartwarming moments of nostalgia, which means if you're doing a post-Crisis readthrough for Dick, Elinore/Zitka feels memorable. But I don't think she actually shows up that much.

For post-2011, I am not as well-informed - throwing this out to the dash? anyone know? - but I feel like Zitka the heartwarming symbol of Dick's heartwarming circus past is, uh, thematically very at odds with the Court of Owls evil!circus vibes, so my instinct is that this story element was almost certainly dropped in the reboot.

Did Dick ever have a stuffed elephant toy in comics?

In WFA, yes; in main comics continuity, no. Technically, I have not read every comic ever published, so I could be wrong!! But I don't think so.

Below, find my rambling reasoning on the tonal vibes of pre-Crisis, post-Crisis, and post-2011, and why this particular story element doesn't seem right to me for the first two.

Pre-Crisis (...okay, mostly the Silver Age): stuffed animal, yes or no?

tl;dr no, requires too much background knowledge on the part of the reader, plus the elephant wasn't a thing until later

Elinore doesn't get created until post-Crisis, but also just generally, pre-Crisis callbacks are more along the lines of this reference in Batman 129 (published in 1960), where, wow, Batman and Robin are hunting jewel thieves - and it turns out Robin recognized this strongman! BUT HOW?!

The comic goes on to recap Dick's entire origin story in flashback, on the assumption that you may not know it.

(BTW, if you'd like to know more about Haly's Circus throughout the years, nightwingology has a great post here summarizing a lot of fun plotlines and characters!)

Basically: Silver Age comics are very self-consciously episodic and kid-friendly; they're not generally gonna do overly-elaborate callbacks because they don't know what comics their kid readers may have randomly picked up or remember.

By the time of post-Crisis, comic books were being written for an adult audience buying from the direct market, i.e. readers who are collecting whole runs & don't need or want Dick's origin story to be recapped to us in full every time it's referenced. That's why in post-Crisis, we get stuff like "hey, neat, this particular soda brand is getting mentioned in several different books!!" or "in order to understand this story arc, buy SIXTEEN DIFFERENT COMICS in FIVE DIFFERENT RUNS and read them ALL ACCORDING TO A NUMBERED ORDER and also you better be following the individual plotlines and recognize these five minor characters who we don't bother to introduce!! Good luck!!" But the elaborate post-Crisis plotlines - and subtler worldbuilding like a stuffed animal callback to Dick's backstory - don't make a lot of story sense UNLESS you're imagining your readers as completionist adult fans.

So IMO a stuffed animal wouldn't be a pre-Crisis thing unless it was The Episodic Story Of the Week, and I don't think a stuffed animal is action-adventure-y enough for the fast-paced storytelling of the Silver Age. (Unless it, like, came to life and tried to eat you or something.)

Post-Crisis: stuffed animals, yes or no?

tl;dr: no, Dick's a manly tough guy, he's not gonna have a stuffed animal, that'd be lame, like something Tim might do

Part of the edgy grimdark adult vibes in 80s/90s comics is that some characters who used to be kinda silly & goofy & lighthearted - like Batman and Robin - get reimagined as Serious and Angsty and Edgy in a Tough Cool Manly Brooding Way. This massively affects characterization for Bruce, Dick, and Bruce and Dick's relationship.

(I obviously love this change & love the tense Bruce-and-Dick interactions, but plenty of fans of the earlier fluffy comics really disliked the edgy retcons of Miller / Wolfman / Starlin / et al.)

The upshot is that post-Crisis is a period when you could have a recurring reference like a stuffed elephant, but you wouldn't have a stuffed elephant, not for Dick. I think a toy like that would be too cutesy / childish / effeminate to give a male character in post-Crisis, unless you were poking fun at him.

Now, you could probably let Tim have a stuffed animal, because Tim is sometimes cool but also sometimes a tryhard loser who is faking being cool and not entirely pulling it off (see e.g. the Robin comic where he practices tough-guy faces in the mirror, or the Teen Titans comic where Conner discovers his cringy Enya CD, or when he's fanboying over Connor and it's awkward, etc etc.). A stuffed animal would be deeply embarrassing, and you'd have to be careful to compensate by having Tim do something cool afterward - but Tim's character concept allows for "he's kind of a loser sometimes."

But Dick isn't!! In post-Crisis, Dick's a tough / impressive / "cool guy" character, the kind of guy anyone would want to be, even in the flashbacks where he's Robin, and even in the stories where he's more lighthearted than angsty. It'd be kinda lame for Dick to have a stuffed elephant, so he wouldn't. I feel like Dick would be more likely to poke fun at it if someone had one, like when he's making fun of Wally for liking the Hardy Boys. Dick could have a Batman action figure, at most, and if he had one he would have it ironically.

Basically: in post-Crisis, a male character hugging a stuffed elephant feels more likely to be a punchline to me, not something poignant. (Even with Tim, Tim could have an embarrassing stuffed animal, but he couldn't hug it when sad - that's too far. Maybe Booster Gold might do this. Probably he wouldn't, but spiritually, he would. Sorry Booster ilu! <3)

Instead, Dick instinctively deals with his inner turmoil like the TORTURED ACTION HERO he is: by punching things and brooding and yelling and joining the mob and sleeping on rooftops and going on obsessive secret missions and acquiring Angsty Stubble!! Just like Batman!

(Technically I don't know if Bruce ever joined the mob but you know he would.)

Anyway as you know this is my favorite continuity and I am poking fun affectionately, but uh, yeah sdfsfdsfs. No stuffed animals.

Post-2011 / Infinite Frontier / Wayne Family Adventures: stuffed animals, yes or no?

tl;dr it's in WFA! Probably not anywhere else, but it could be.

Post-2011 stuff tends to be cutesier overall, most of all in the current Infinite Frontier era. So I don't feel like this would be tonally out-of-line with IF comics. Taylor tends to go for more meme-y references rather than fanfic references, though.

So the obvious best fit is WFA, which is aiming for a rough approximation of Silver Age family-friendly vibes - wholesome, episodic plots, Teaching Good Moral Lessons For The Youth, etc. - plus lots of Easter eggs for fanfic readers and some comic references.

And look, here we are:

Aww.

Whew - that's everything I could find!

Anyway as you can probably tell, I LOVE the elephant, so this was a very entertaining rabbit hole to go down, thank you <3

[happybunnykat]

I'm giving Colin one more episode where he is suspiciously absent before he shows up as a case file.

[eudico-my-beloved]

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[n0v4hertz]

a popular dance partner.

@theemmtropy i had to immediately sketch out gale after i read your post. hes just so. i want to [REDACTED] him.