#i literally have not listened to anything but the cats soundtrack for the past week

[kaijudyke]

i did know beforehand that seeing cats live was probably gonna do something to me. did i know it was gonna do this? no i did not

[purplesurveys]

1264

Who are you subscribed to on YouTube?  Oh man, I’m probably subscribed to over a hundred, if not 200. I’ve subscribed to channels relevant to interests I’ve had over the years, and since it’s not my habit to do spring cleaning on my feeds, the subscriptions have just keep piling up even if I no longer keep up with literally like 98% of them.

Do you like to go to the farmer's market?  I don’t think I’ve ever been in one yet. They aren’t very common here and the ones we do have are pricey and mostly inaccessible to the everyday consumer, I’m sure.

What will (or was) the color of your wedding dress be?  I wouldn’t want any other color than white.

What's your favorite melon?  I don’t like fruits.

What was the name of the last pet of yours that died?  Arlee. Technically my family mostly considered her as just Nina’s pet, but the sting was felt all the same when we learned she died.

When was the last time you wished the day would just get over with?  Yesterday, because it was Friday. Pretty self-explanatory, I wanted to get to the weekend so I can finally let go of work for a couple of days.

Name one person you've never had a fight with:  Andi. I think we’re both afraid of pissing the other off, which works out for us lol.

What are you currently listening to?  I can just hear the really loud whirring of my electric fan because it’s a grossly humid day today.

What would you rather have: cat or dog?  Dogs.

Who is your least favorite person in real life?  I have a lot of uncles I just don’t like.

Do you ever watch anybody's live stream of... anything, really?  Technically, yeah. I will sometimes tune in to livestreams of lofi music on YouTube, but I do it to listen, not to watch. 

Does your house have security cameras?  No.

If you go grey as you age, would you dye your hair or let it be?  I think I might dye it for a certain period of time, but I also think I would eventually reach the point where I’ll just accept it and slowly let go of the dye.

What was the last establishment you stopped going to due to bad service? What happened?  I haven’t run into much bad service, but I’ll never forget how long my order and bill took for Mad Mark’s. I never really vowed per se to never go back there again and I definitely didn’t confront the staff, but I haven’t eaten there since that incident.

What soundtrack do you listen to the most?  Not a big soundtrack listener.

Was there a family secret you weren’t told about until you were an adult?  Nah, they’re kept from us until now. The biggest one I’ve heard about was having a kleptomaniac in the family but we were never told who it is.

Do you have an opinion most people you meet seem to disagree with you?  Yeah, my dislike for fruits.

What’s something you like to have many options to choose from?  Clothes, I guess, like bucket hats. I don’t shop a lot and clothes aren’t a priority in my budget, so when I do pick out clothes, it has to be exactly what I want so that I don’t feel it was a waste of money.

What’s the strangest decorative object you own?  We have several quirky, disconnected decor in the living room from gifts we’ve acquired over the years. One object I can tell you about is the polar bear glass figurine we have on the coffee table.

What’s a thing you couldn’t imagine doing with your life right now?  Dating around.

What’s been your proudest moment?  Managing to stay alive this year and turn my life around for the better when I thought there was no hope.

What’s the filthiest non-pornographic movie you’ve seen?  Eyes Wide Shut, probably.

Do you know anyone who doesn't seem to be fond of animals?  I don’t think so. Like any animal...? I would find that quite odd, honestly. And I wouldn’t want to be friends with them if we weren’t already close .

Are you planning any outings or trips anytime soon? Whereabouts?  No, nothing set in stone. I do want to fly out to South Korea soon, though.

Do you know anyone who has a phobia of a certain animal?  I know a few people who are afraid of dogs.

Is there a particular brand of technology/electronics that you prefer?  Yeah, Apple.

Is there a singer whose voice gives you goosebumps/chills?  Hayley Williams and Jin, especially when he’s belting; and I don’t listen to her much, but I find that Billie Eilish has a unique voice that sounds really nice.

And is there a singer whose voice you simply can't stand?  Selena Gomez for some of her songs, Meghan Trainor for most of her songs.

Are there any authors that are particularly dominant on your bookshelf?  No.

Have you seen any photographs or videos that made you smile today?  Sure.

Which item in your fridge are you most looking forward to consuming? My aunt sent over this gigantic-ass slab of salmon that I can’t wait to eat as sashimi. I already had a few pieces last night and it was hea ven ly.

Has anyone you know got into a new relationship lately?  Hmm, I don’t think so. I know my coworker Dev got into a relationship a few weeks ago but it fizzled out as soon as it started because the guy was shitty.

If you menstruate, do you experience much PMS prior to it?  Only on the emotional side; I rarely get physical symptoms. I usually feel down or emotionally heavy a few days before my period.

Have you ever had a tattoo covered up or added to?  No, I don’t have any tattoos. Can you remember the last time you had a sudden change of mind?  Hmm, like last night. I wanted to stay up to maximize the weekend, buuuut I decided against it and slept instead since I had been up since 2 in the morning.

When was the last time you did something on a whim?  Two weeks ago when I impulsively dropped a thousand bucks to have cheese tarts delivered to Angela and Reena, hahaha.

Were you raised by both of your parents? If not, then who raised you?  My mom, grandma, and one of my aunts were the main people who raised me. Dad works overseas, so he was never at home much.

Have you ever began a relationship with someone you knew for less than a week?  No, I wouldn’t do that.

Has one of your friends ever tried to ‘hook you up?’  Mik tried to pair me with one of his friends just days before I finally implied on social media that I was no longer in a relationship. It was a cool ego boost but I declined, since my emotions were still super turbulent then. Andi tried to initiate sex with me once too, but I also declined.

What is your card game of choice?  I hate card games; I can never seem to understand them lmao, though that’s really more of a me problem than anything else.

What is your favourite books series?  Growing up, I really loved the Septimus Heap series. But the thing about it was that I got into it while the series was still ongoing; and with how bad my attention span is, I always forgot the events/plot whenever the newest book came out. 

So whenever that happened I had to read the entire series from Book 1; eventually the number of books I had to reread/revisit became too many (it was a seven-part series) and I simply just lost the time to read and I never got to know about the conclusion.

Do you prefer landmarks or street names when being given directions?  Street names – more precise. Landmarks to me can be pretty subjective – a green building might look blue to me, and I could just end up being lost.

Do you read the prologues in the beginnings of books?  Sure.

What was your favourite gym class moment?  If I genuinely like or already play the sport that was being taught. That’s why PE table tennis was a lot of fun for me.

Do you think that ocean boardwalks are fun?  I’ve never been on one but I imagine they are fun, yeah.

Do you dread when people ask you to sign their yearbooks?  That’s not a tradition here.

Do you have a favourite Scooby-Doo movie?  No. I was too young for Scooby-Doo in a sense that I do remember watching the movies as a 3/4 year old as they were kept on in the background at home, but I didn’t get any of the plots/didn’t really appreciate the films.

Do you think it’s cute when toddlers try to run away and fall down?  Sometimes, yeah. If the fall looked nasty I would obviously be concerned.

Do you enjoy listening to your grandparents tell stories of their past?  Honestly, only one of my grandparents would be the type to do this but he’s been dead for six years now. It’s a big shame he passed before I could bond with him the way I had always wanted to. My three other grandparents are either too closed off or too quiet to share stories from their youth.

Do you have a crush on someone? Nah, nothing more than a celebrity crush.

If so... what does his/her name begin with? 

What attracts you to them? 

Do they know that you like them? 

If they don't know, why didn't you tell them? 

Name two people that you miss:  Angela and Laurice.

Have you ever seen Titanic?  More times than I can count. I’m sure I memorize like 80% of the script, too.

Have you ever swam with dolphins?  No. I’m not so sure if I’ve seen dolphins, either. Maybe I have? Or maybe I’m confusing it with whales...idrk.

When was the last time you had a stomachache?  Wednesday.

What's going to bed early for you?  11 PM or midnight.

Do you want to have a big family in the future?  I used to, but I don’t think that’s the future I want anymore. One or two kids should be okay.

What was the last thing you did that gave you a rush?  Technically speaking, an orgasm, I guess?? Lmao idk

Favorite Nicholas Cage movie?  I don’t think I have one.

Have you had your Covid vaccine yet? Which one, if you have?  Yeah, I’m fully dosed. Sinovac.

If you've had your vaccine, did you experience any side effects?  I was suuuuuuper tired right after my first dose and I wanted to be knocked the fuck out, but I went right back to work after the shot because I am allergic to filing leaves hahaha. Second dose went smoothly.

What's the next item of clothing that you intend to buy for yourself?  A bucket hat or maybe one of the Fila x BTS shirts because the collection is actually quite cute!

What Facebook groups have you found the most helpful?  I join Facebook groups to be entertained, not because I actively look for advice.

Do you like your butt? Why or why not?  Yeah. It...has a good form hahahahahaha.

Have you ever personally been a victim of homophobia?  Yes, a few years ago I went to a food park with my ex-girlfriend. I was already not feeling my best that day to begin with, so having to see an old woman stare daggers at us for what felt like years really stung. I felt small under her look and almost cried, but in the end I felt angry that I momentarily felt shame about my relationship. I decided to just piss the woman off on purpose and do PDA right in front of her.

Do you think you’d be happier if you had a pet? I have two dogs at present and I know they make me extremely happy.

Who was the last person you went on a date with?  Gabie.

Were you ever hospitalized as a little kid?  No. The first and only time I was hospitalized (other than being birthed), I was about 12, I think.

What’s your favorite way to curl your hair?  I don’t do that. I rarely style my hair.

At what age did you start swearing?  I was 11.

What is something you physically can’t do?  Ride a bike.

What do like better, apples or oranges?  I don’t like any fruits; but in terms of flavored stuff, I like orange-flavored food, especially chewy candy, slightly more.

Around the holidays, do you hope for snow?  Well, no.

What are your top two favorite bands?  Paramore and Against Me!

How many people do you 100% trust?  There are a handful. I generally trust easily just because I like to believe all people are kind and loyal – but I can also take it away in the snap of a finger.

Do you care what others think about you?  Not so much.

Has anyone ever called you a bitch?  Sure.

Did you watch Teletubbies when you were younger?  Yeah but just super super faint memories. It wasn’t one of my main shows.

Do you have any licenses other than your driver's license?  I don’t.

Could you live the rest of your life without eating meat?  I doubt it. I could try, but I think I’d get cranky and start looking for meat way earlier than I would like to admit.

Have you ever had a rolling backpack?  Yup, if you mean a stroller. I think I’ve answered this on a previous survey.

Did you make any money today?  No, because it’s a weekend. What was the highest place you've ever jumped from?  Nothing dramatically high. I’ve had acrophobia-themed nightmares in the past, so even though I don’t actually have a fear of heights, the idea of jumping from a high place still makes me antsy.

Have you ever gone swimming in a river?  Not that I can recall.

What was the last souvenir someone got you?  I dunno if it counts but Andi bought merch from the AEW shop but made sure to also get a CM Punk sticker set for me :(

Do you have a favorite remix of a song?  Remixes have never been my thing. What do you think is the most saddest sounding instrument?  Piano.

Do you really pay attention to the ratings on movies?  Yeah they can definitely affect the level of appreciation I hold towards a film. For instance, if I genuinely enjoyed a movie only to find out it has average to bad reviews, it invites me to think more critically about the movie.

Do you have a favorite species of wild cat (tiger/lion/cougar/etc.)?  No.

If you had $500,000, what would you do with it?  Give half to my parents and let them do whatever they wish it. With the remaining P12,500,000, I’d probably get myself my own condo and have it fully furnished, then get braces, then get a new phone and laptop. I’ll have a bunch of money still left, I’m pretty sure – the rest of it I’ll save.

Did the last person you touched lips with have a kid?  No. I mean, I have honestly no clue what’s going on in her life now, but I know she doesn’t want kids so this is very unlikely.

"First loves are never really over." Is this true for you?  It’s true in a sense that she left me a lot of trauma and self-esteem issues that will irrevocably always be a part of me now even though I’ve worked hard to resolved most of them by myself.

Did you like Michael Jackson before he died?  Yes, because he has always been my favorite singer’s role model.

What are some things that would make you break up with someone?  I don’t know how to answer this question, honestly. All the red flags were thrown and tossed and slapped into my face and down my throat for six years yet I never left. I don’t actually know what my limits are, and I believe it’s because my coping mechanism has to just accept things and suck them up no matter how bad they get. That’s what I’m trying to change for myself now.

What was the worst breakup you've ever had?  I’ve had two breakups with the same person, and the second one was worse.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #451

“taste the waste of their god’s grace & spit your hate upon your young”

Who are you subscribed to on YouTube? A shitload of people. Do you like to go to the farmer's market? Yeah, sure. What will (or was) the color of your wedding dress be? Probably black. What's your favorite melon? I don't really like melons, actually. What was the name of the last pet of yours that died? Teddy. :( When was the last time you wished the day would just get over with? Literally every day. Seriously. It's funny, I dread fighting to sleep at night, but I also just want it to be time to sleep so time will pass. My life is just so fucking boring that I just... wait for something exciting to happen. Name one person you've never had a fight with: Tez. What are you currently listening to? "Sex Metal Barbie" by In This Moment. What would you rather have: cat or dog? I prefer cats. Who is your least favorite person in real life? Probably my sister's husband. Do you ever watch anybody's live stream of... anything, really? I'll sometimes watch live let's plays. Does your house have security cameras? No. If you go grey as you age, would you dye your hair or let it be? I'll be dyeing it. What was the last establishment you stopped going to due to bad service? What happened? I'm not sure. What soundtrack do you listen to the most? Silent Hill 2's, definitely. Was there a family secret you weren’t told about until you were an adult? I don't know if it's really a secret, but I didn't know until this year that my dad did some really dangerous drugs before us kids were born. Do you have an opinion most people you meet seem to disagree with you? Yes. What’s something you like to have many options to choose from? Food, ha ha. Feels great to have a full kitchen after a grocery trip. What’s the strangest decorative object you own? Nothing "strange" to me. What’s a thing you couldn’t imagine doing with your life right now? One biggie is having a baby. I just... could not imagine. My life would plummet. What’s been your proudest moment? Graduating in the top percentile in my high school graduating class. What’s the filthiest non-pornographic movie you’ve seen? Omfg, Sausage Party. That movie was so gross. Do you know anyone who doesn't seem to be fond of animals? Thankfully, no. I don't even think I could befriend someone who doesn't like animals. Are you planning any outings or trips anytime soon? Whereabouts? No. Do you know anyone who has a phobia of a certain animal? Yeah, like me with whale sharks. Is there a particular brand of technology/electronics that you prefer? Not really, no. Is there a singer whose voice gives you goosebumps/chills? Amy Lee's. And is there a singer whose voice you simply can't stand? Yeah, such as Bob Dylan. Are there any authors that are particularly dominant on your bookshelf? Tui T. Sutherland, but only because I read their series Wings of Fire. Have you seen any photographs or videos that made you smile today? I'm sure on Facebook at some point. Which item in your fridge are you most looking forward to consuming? Does the freezer count? If so, this Healthy Choice grilled chicken pesto bowl I have in there. I am like addicted to them. Has anyone you know got into a new relationship lately? I don't know. If you menstruate, do you experience much PMS prior to it? It varies month-to-month. Have you ever had a tattoo covered up or added to? I had my Markiplier tattoo essentially redone by a better artist. I also plan on getting my "ohana" tat covered, as well as my "how rare and beautiful it is to even exist" one (I adore the quote, but it's not an original design, which I don't like having anymore), and I want to move and redesign my "perfectly flawed" one because I want a bigger tattoo in its location. Can you remember the last time you had a sudden change of mind? Yeah; I'm pretty sure I like-like my friend Girt now, something I was never entirely sure about. When was the last time you did something on a whim? *shrug* Were you raised by both of your parents? If not, then who raised you? Well, I guess both, but Dad didn't do a lot of the teaching part about life and stuff. Have you ever began a relationship with someone you knew for less than a week? No. Has one of your friends ever tried to ‘hook you up?’ Yes. Colleen tried that with me and Girt and only succeeded in making us very uncomfortable. She said something I wanted to slap her for that I won't repeat. What is your card game of choice? Magic: The Gathering. What is your favourite books series? I think my favorite series of all time was the Shiloh trilogy. I adored both the books and movies. Do you prefer landmarks or street names when being given directions? You'd better give me landmarks, ha ha. Do you read the prologues in the beginnings of books? Of course. What was your favourite gym class moment? There're such things as GOOD gym memories in school? Do you think that ocean boardwalks are fun? Yes. Do you dread when people ask you to sign their yearbooks? No, I always thought it was very flattering that they even wanted mine. Do you have a favourite Scooby-Doo movie? The Phantom Virus one. I had the video game as a kid, too. Could never beat the damn thing. Do you think it’s cute when toddlers try to run away and fall down? No? I don't like seeing children - or anyone - fall. Do you enjoy listening to your grandparents tell stories of their past? So, this really only happened once, and it was coincidentally the day I learned of her pancreatic cancer, but before Mom told me. I had an assignment to interview someone of an older generation about how various sources of media affected their lives, like the development of TV and such, and she really got into it. It was very interesting to learn about. Do you have a crush on someone? I guess I do idfk. If so... what does his/her name begin with? "D." What attracts you to them? More than anything, the fact he's been there for me without fail. Both single and when I was with Jason and he was interested in me, he's just... been there and has made an effort since high school to be in my life in one way or another. Do they know that you like them? Not anymore, no. We dated for a few months, but I broke up with him because he felt more like my brother, so I would assume he doesn't think I do. Maybe he still is family to me. I really don't know what I feel. If they don't know, why didn't you tell them? I might at some point, idk. We just haven't talked in a while. Name two people that you miss: Jason and Megan. Have you ever seen Titanic? When I was in the hospital, yes. Everyone was crying, lmao. Have you ever swam with dolphins? No, but I would. When was the last time you had a stomachache? Now. Mother Nature finally visited me after three whole fucking months and is v angry. What's going to bed early for you? Like 7:00. Do you want to have a big family in the future? Of pets! Human kids ain't for me. What was the last thing you did that gave you a rush? Hell if I know. Favorite Nicholas Cage movie? Ghost Rider. Have you had your Covid vaccine yet? Which one, if you have? Yes. I got Moderna. If you've had your vaccine, did you experience any side effects? I did on my second dosage. I was OUT of it the day afterwards, but then I was fine. What's the next item of clothing that you intend to buy for yourself? I need new bras badly. What Facebook groups have you found the most helpful? It's called "Not Just A Pet Rock (Python regius)" and is a group for advanced ball python husbandry. It is very informative, but I will say there is a SHITLOAD of very rude elitists. Do you like your butt? Why or why not? NO because it's a PANCAKE and I want CAKE. Have you ever personally been a victim of homophobia? I personally think so. When Sara visited and we were trying to go to my older sister's so she especially could meet her, Ash entirely ignored Mom's messages. I know her homophobic husband well enough to nearly be able to guarantee he didn't want us coming over because the kids "don't need to see that." Ash kinda does what Nick says, so... you know. Do you think you’d be happier if you had a pet? I know I'm happier with pets. Who was the last person you went on a date with? Sara. Were you ever hospitalized as a little kid? No. What’s your favorite way to curl your hair? It's too short to do that. At what age did you start swearing? However old I was in 7th grade. What is something you physically can’t do? Clean up vomit lkdsjal;sdkjfa;lkwd. I can't clean up my pet's or even my own. I literally can't. My mom has to. What do like better, apples or oranges? Apples. I don't like oranges. Around the holidays, do you hope for snow? Yes!!! What are your top two favorite bands? Ozzy Osbourne and Metallica. How many people do you 100% trust? Like two. Maybe. Do you care what others think about you? Way too much. Has anyone ever called you a bitch? My grandmother has. Did you watch Teletubbies when you were younger? Omg yes, I was obsessed. Do you have any licenses other than your driver's license? I don't even have that. Could you live the rest of your life without eating meat? No. Not because I don't want to, because I do, but I would have an extreme protein deficit if I did that. Besides meat, I don't like enough protein-rich foods. Have you ever had a rolling backpack? Yes. Did you make any money today? I haven't made any money in a very, very long time. I'm only ever paid when someone hires me to take pictures for them. What was the highest place you've ever jumped from? I don't know. Definitely not very high. Have you ever gone swimming in a river? Yes. What was the last souvenir someone got you? I have zero clue. Do you have a favorite remix of a song? Hm. Perhaps this techno-y remix of "Psychosocial" by Slipknot. I don't know for sure, though. What do you think is the most saddest sounding instrument? Either the violin or piano. Do you really pay attention to the ratings on movies? Nope. Do you have a favorite species of wild cat (tiger/lion/cougar/etc.)? Probably clouded leopards aesthetics, but I think lions overall. If you had $500,000, what would you do with it? Pay off school debt as well as help Mom with various financial issues, buy new glasses, buy Mom and I a new house and car, get Venus a great tank with all the optimal supplies, get LOADS of tattoos, donate to various charities, adopt a few specific pets, travel to Yellowstone, get laser hair removal on my legs and teeth whitening... There are a lot of possibilities. Did the last person you touched lips with have a kid? Just scaly ones. :') "First loves are never really over." Is this true for you? Yeeeep... Did you like Michael Jackson before he died? I didn't really have an opinion on him. I know/like a couple songs, sure. What are some things that would make you break up with someone? If they became abusive, started doing drugs, acted arrogantly, didn't understand my mental conditions and were unwilling to be emotionally supportive, stuff like that. What was the worst breakup you've ever had? Ha, the one with Jason. For. Fucking. Sure.

[who-ever-said-i-was-nice]

Mtach up thing please! <3

Female, INFJ-T, Sagittarius. 155cm (tiny potato, just dont smash it on my face or I will get insecure)I would never, brown eyes, long light brown hair, pale with freckless. Average-skinny. Wear glasses for study/work which is basically 24/7 same and have some tattoos here and there.

I think Im more of an ambivert but more close to the introvert side. I’m smiley but still people tend to tell me that they thought I was rude (or directly a bitch) highly doubt it they just jealous but found out I’m not that bad, guess that’s on bitch resting face :( nope :) better. Socially awkward but after I get comfortable I fool around a lot, memes and vine references give me life. I tend to do the opposite of what I’ve been told just because I don’t like it when people order me things.pffff can relate Tho I’m shy I will not hesitate to step up if someone is being rude with someone specially if is towards a friend or someone close to me. I try to be very caring and supportive for anything you will need but also empathic, I cry if someone cries kjdfhgk but try to hold it together so I can help and not make feel worse the other person you seem very nice pls be my friend

I’m sensitive, I get stressed and anxious easily and for that I constantly have headaches and stomach ache,noooooo :( I have a whole self-care routine to help me with that or else I will, without a doubt ,get sick. I don’t like places that are too crowded or very loud noises, it makes me nervous. I’m your “will cry if gets too anxious” person. yup you are to innocent and cute to be my friend I’m either “Mama bear” scary or “will murder you in your sleep” scary.....I’m just a marshmallow tho

I like reading welcome to the bookworm club, learning random things. I love art in general, music, painting, dancing, etc. I love animals too! All of them, cats, dogs, birds, frogs, please let them all in(but my weak spot are cats, I cant deny it). I’m vegan, try to make it the most healthy possible (eating well, taking vitamin D and B12 to not die that was funnier than all of my jokes combined i died ). Sugar is my passion and my minimum 4 tsp of sugar per coffee knows it(this is where the I eAt HeAlThYy goes to hell xD damn right lmao, you still healthier then me). When it comes to music I like a bit of everything, I will be listening alternative rock or metal and then jump to kpop, tho I’ve been into chill lofi lately, specially when is mix of a series or movie cause nostalgia hits hard and I’m into that shit kjhjk I also have a playlist of Disney, anime or movie songs/soundtracks because it helps me to study or work more motivated, your girl needs motivation to not stare into space for 1 hour straight,kjkiijjioh same tho Im quite disperse, I always forget where I put things and then blame the goblins for that, but it turns out, it was on my hand all the time lollol

I study art online, I want to be a concept or background artist for animation, I used to study animation on a university but dropped because the pressure was too much and never could get along with the university itself, every week was a fight about something (Im not problematic I swear, I try to be the most chill out-care free possible but I swear the system is horrible here :( )yeah it happens sucks that you had to go through it. I’m also learning complimentary therapies! (I think that’s how it is on english) Reiki, tarot, pendulum, past lifes and such, Im into esoterical/”mystical” things.

For hobbies I do embroidery, sewing, read, stare into space for 1 hour and yoga (this is part of the self care routine to not die).

My favorite season is autumn or early spring, I dont handle too hot weather or the sun well, I like winter and rainy days but then I get so cold that I invernate on bed the whole day.

For relationships I think communication is key, I know is not easy but is the only way to make it work :( and cuddles, please cuddle me and pet my head, I will be on your palms if you scratch my head. I can be very touchy, like holding hands and hugs but I dont like it if someone who is not a very close friend or my partner does it, I just dont know how to react or do kfdhlk I prefer my personal space untouched :(  Im so sorry it was so long!! I wanted to do it very detailed but sHoRt to not make you think so hard with who match up me but maybe tmi is just the opposite for you, if so Im truly sorry! :( I think you are an angel just for trying to match up me with someone <3 ahhh, yes, the matchup (take a shot for everytime i said match up on this paragraph game) for ikevamp please! <3

4 shots huh.Ahahahahhahhhahahhahahhhah...... Don’t worry about the length. The longer the better right. Right? I’m nasty I’ll stop. Also yes I went through it and left little notes within the text. Why, because I’m cool. Hopefully. One day. Anyway!

I matched you with...............

                                        .......................ISAAC!!!!!

My sweet baby angel little boy

Isaac is very,very shy so it took him some time to warm up to you

but that does not mean that he didn’t like you

oh no no no

on the contrary

Isaac died every single time you passed him

he didn’t understand how someone could be so perfect

you took his breath away

him not being the tales man actually liked that you were shorter then him

you see, because men are supposed t be tall and strong and all that crap, plus being around Leo, who scores a 10 in all of those, made him quite insecure about his, well, actually everything

the way he talked, or rather didn’t, his height, that fact that he wasn’t jacked like some of the guys in the mansion, or, you know, at least in his mind

he isn’t exactly the fighter type either

he’s a scientist after all, not a worrier

and this made him feel like he didn’t deserve you, because he couldn’t protect you

 oh my, sweetheart no

you on the other hand, think he is amazing

I mean not all people know all the constellations name and position by heart, nor can they carve amazingly cute wooden toys and decorations, nor are the university professores and just so happen to be an absolute physics geniuses so yeah

both of you being quite reserved, it took you ages to get together

but when you did it was the most amazing thing ever

he confessed to you one night while you where stargazing

it went a little something like this:

You: Thank you for bringing me out. It’s so beautiful!

Isaac: Yes. Like you.

You: *eyes emoji*

Isaac takes your hand, blushes hard, and even though he wanted to look into your eyes he couldn’t bring himself to, in fear of loosing himself in them

“Y/n ever since I first laid eyes on you I knew that I needed you in my life. You make me feel so comfortable by the just being here with me. You are funny, lighthearted and so welcoming and accepting. I love when you sit next to me in the library, I love it when we stargaze, I love how you ask me oh so many questions. How you are so eager to learn everything. Yet you are so quiet and shy. It’s amazing really. and in those moments I fell like I love it even more. The comfortable silence we can both sit in. The look we share, were we somehow always know what the other is thinking without even asking. I love your hair falls and frames your face perfectly. Those adorable freckles are driving me mad you know? Your petite features always astound me. So small yet so pretty. How is it even possible? However I don’t expect you to reciprocate my feelings. It doesn’t matter how much I adore you, I can’t protect you. I am not what a man is supposed to be. I’m not strong and tough Y/n, I’m just a scientist. However I felt the need to tell you this. To tell you my true feeling. I love you Y/N. I really do.”

Isaac sat there with tears streaming down his face

he couldn’t look at you

he just waited for the rejection to slap him in the face

however it didn’t come

you cupped his wet cheek gently and he looked up to see your tear stained face

you slowly pull him towards you and kiss him

it was so gentle and full of love

you pulled away tears still pouring down your faces

however these weren’t tears of sadness, but of joy

you both laughed as Isaac pulled you into a hug

well.....

i may or may not be crying writing this

yes I definitely am that is totally the case

anywhoo

after this it is smooth sailing

cutest couple ever

And that is it! Sorry if this is lame and it literally took forever. Thank you for the request though.! Have an amazing day and be safe!

[etraytin]

Quarantine, Days 276-280

December 13-17 Maybe I just haven't had too much to say lately, or maybe I have just been hit with the one-two punch of ennui and busyness. We were supposed to leave yesterday for our trip to North Carolina, so I spent several days getting ready for that. The only thing worse than trying to get the house set up for a trip of several weeks in length is doing it knowing that people are going to come in while we're gone. I was able to put off the pest control people by telling them we were quarantining, which had the advantage of being absolutely true, but it also gave me extra time to clean the kitchen and the bathrooms which were the places they wanted to spray. Thank god we don't actually have bugs, those sprayings are much more invasive. This time I didn't have to empty out the cabinets or anything, just clean stuff. So a lot of time the past few days has been spent packing and cleaning. I even got down on my literal hands and knees to wash the kitchen floor. (My kitchen is so small that it doesn't make a lot of sense to use a mop.) It looks nicer now than it has in ages, tbh, just in time for us to be gone. Those pest control folks had better be very impressed. I also did more advanced planning for this trip than I usually do, packing my yarn bags and the toiletries kit several days in advance instead of my usual strategy of throwing in anything that is around on my way out the door. I was so proud of myself! Even my suitcase looks nice, everything folded and in the right place, and with the straps on to make sure it doesn't shift around too much.  Then Wednesday rolled around  and we didn't go. See it turns out that Kiddo had a standardized test to do that afternoon, the MAP test for those of you who follow such things. I cannot begin to express what kind of bullshit it is to make the kids do  standardized tests in a year like this, but it is what it is. We could've just ignored it, but I want to take the kiddo to the sea island where my folks spend the late winter for a little bit in February, and we will be better positioned to do that if we don't piss off the school too much with absences. Wednesdays are supposed to be asynchronous learning days, ideal for traveling, but instead we'd have had to stick around until nearly 3pm before heading out for a six and a half hour drive. Couple that with a gnarly winter storm weather forecast and we elected to push the trip forward by a day.  It was the right decision, but it did mean that the kiddo missed a partial day since my hotspot could not keep up with streaming his classwork once we left. He was there in the morning though, and that's when they take attendance. I made sure he did his homework. Tomorrow is the last day before break anyway, I doubt they were piling too much new stuff on. We had a brief scare when the car threw us a "bad key" error as we were trying to leave, but got it resolved and made excellent time with only one stop along the way. There was a lot of traffic! I listened to the entire soundtrack of 10 Things I Hate About You, my favorite 90s nostalgia album. Every song a banger, I tell you what. Anyway, we arrived about an hour before it started to snow, and early enough so that we could help MIL get into her book club Zoom meeting, so that was good.  Man, computers have really been a thing this week. The Red Cross rolled out a new system for getting people hooked up with services and emergency funds after a disaster, and it is _fucking awful._ It is so, so, so bad. It went live on Tuesday, and wouldn't you know it, Tuesday night I had my first call of the week. It wasn't a great call to start with, not a lot of information, some of it thirdhand, fire department no longer on scene. It's the sort of call where I would usually have to do a little extra poking the system and maybe make a couple extra calls to get everything perfect, but where it wouldn't be too big a deal. But because I marked one checkbox incorrectly on one page of this 25 page one-way flow, the system wouldn't let me set up the financial aid and it wouldn't tell me what was wrong or how to fix it.  I had to apologize to the client and tell him I would call him back because I had to figure out what was wrong. Figuring out what was wrong required contacting my coordinator, who three way called me with our area leader, who eventually put me into a Teams meeting via phone with two of her supervisors, while one person in that meeting simultaneously connected to the national watch floor so somebody could give us some goddamned technical support. (I tried calling the new tech support hotline, but they said they couldn't help me and I'd have to talk to my supervisor who had told me to call them in the first place.) So this all takes about an hour, which is actually pretty fast given all the moving parts involved and the fact that nobody knows shit about this one-day-old system, but is a long time when you have just had a fire and have young children and no place to stay. Finally, about a zillion steps up the Red Cross food chain from me, somebody is able to access the system and do the required approval (I had put a 1 instead of a 2 in what was apparently an extremely important box), and the financial assistance went through. I was able to help the client and it turned out okay, but it was HORRIBLE. I have done another call and talked to several people since then, and none of us can find one thing that the new system has made better, only things that are worse. It sucks. At least I go off shift for the month tonight.  Anyway, that was my week, but we finished our quarantine and now I am in North Carolina and that is good. MIL is happy for the company and Victoria and Tanika the cats have not tried to kill each other yet, and it's nice. Tomorrow we pickup groceries and try to get a Christmas tree, which are in short supply this year. But for now, rest! 

[emptymasks]

@gaymelie​ tagged me to share 10 songs I've been listening to recently, thanks for tagging me darling. I’m going to try and not pick more than one song by the same singer/band/cast

1. Dress - BUCK-TICK. A clip from the music video came across my twitter feed and I clicked play because of how beautiful the singer looked with his long hair and make-up and just, honestly, looking like my dream soft goth aesthetic, and the song is so good. It’s from 1993, but sounds like it could be from the 80s, it makes me think of The Cure if they were happier sounding, if that makes sense. 

2. Say So - Doja Cat / Rainych - I had heard the Japense cover by Rainych first because I never look at what’s in the charts so I hadn’t ever heard the song or heard of Doja Cat. I don’t like a lot of modern pop music (idk it’s just not my thing) but sometimes a song comes along that I really get into and again this has an 80s pop feel to it and makes me want to dance and cheers me up and that’s sort of what I need right now

3. Nowhere Fast - Fire Inc. I could have put ‘Tonight Is What It Means To Be Young’ by Fire Inc here as well. It’s from the film Streets of Fire and both of those songs are written by Jim Steinman, Tanz Der Vampire fans, you’ll know who he is. I literally watched this film because part of a Tanz melody is in ‘Nowhere Fast’ and ‘Tonight Is What It Means To Be Young’ is literally ‘Finale zweiter Akt / Der Tanz der Vampire’. The film is sort of cheesy, but if you want an awesome 80s soundtrack, a weird mash-up of 50s and 80s sets and costumes, and a 20 year old Willem Dafoe as the leader of a biker gang who at one point is wearing black, glossy overalls with no shirt on underneath, then this is the film for you.

4. ROKI - Mikito-P ft. Kagamine Rin. Ah yes a Vocaloid song. Despite stopping being up to date with Vocaloid stuff in 2012, I still listen to the songs sometimes because the producers/composers are very talented. Been getting into this because I downloaded a rhythm game that had this song in.

5. Deeper and Deeper - The Fixx. Another song from Streets of Fire. Loved this song and finally got around to listening to other songs from the band a couple days ago and omg, I’ve only listened to their first album but I love it.

6. Omae Wa Mou (Tiny Little Adiantum Remix) -  deadman 死人, Shibayan. Okay, yes, there’s a meme song on here. But like. It’s a really good song, okay. I sent it to my brother and now both of us have been singing it at each other for the past week.

7. Totale Finsternis - Taz Der Vampire. You all know musical songs where going to be on here. Honestly, this is a song I didn’t dislike or anything, it’s just taken me a long time to get into because I’m not a big fan of Totale Eclipse of the Heart of those sorts of pop ballads, but after playing it on piano enough time’s I’ve been enjoying trying to sing it.

8. Quite Life - Japan. My dad played me this after I played him Dress by BUCK-TICK because they reminded him on this band. I liked it and hopefully I remember to listen to more by them.

9. Wenn Ich Tanzen Will - Elisabeth Das Musical. You all don’t need to hear me gush about this musical again, but I was listening to this song again in particular because I found chords for it on Ultimate Guitar Tabs and got too excited. 

10. Epitaph - King Crimson. Listented to this today for the first time in ages because I saw someone saying this is the saddest prog rock song, and I have to agree. It’s also one of my favourite songs of all time.

Oh wow, I didn’t mean to ramble that much. Uhh I’m just real passionate about music. Hmm who to tag, @justthedeadgirl @a-touch-of-darknesss @hungarianator @into-the-stratosphere @beautyofloneliness

[dailyaudiobible]

12/23/2020 DAB Transcript

Zechariah 4:1-5:11, Revelation 14:1-20, Psalms 142:1-7, Proverbs 30:21-23

Today is the 23rd day of December welcome to the Daily Audio Bible I am Brian it's great to be here with you on Christmas eve eve. Man, this is it and the Christmas holiday is upon us. We are reaching the end of the Advent season. Of course, Advent is the season of…of…of longing, basically of longing, of putting…putting ourselves in the position of those before Jesus came, before the Savior came who were longing for His arrival, which is what Advent means. And, so, we continue with that in our hearts, a longing, a longing for God, a longing for Christ's return, His second Advent. And we get this point in the season where maybe we’ve been thinking about it, maybe we have an Advent calendar or whatever to focus us, to remember, to put ourselves in that position and…and…and contemplate it as we move through the season, or maybe you just don't even know what or pay attention to Advent, then that's fine too. It’s just that the season is coming to an end, which means that the wait is almost over and then we get to midnight tomorrow night and it’s like joy around the world. And, so, I am overjoyed that we can be here together around the Global Campfire just kind of all snuggled up and longing and waiting and excited. And since we’re here let's take the next step forward in the Scriptures. We've been reading from the New English Translation this week, which is what we’ll continue to do. Zechariah chapters 4 and 5.

Commentary:

Okay. So, we’re reading in the Old Testament from the book of Zechariah. We’re reading in the New Testament from the book of Revelation. They are far spread out in time, at least at the time of the writing and yet they sound, they sound familiar. There…there's an incredible amount of symbolism involved in these texts. They come from the same genre, apocalyptic literature. And we've talked about apocalyptic literature in the past. It's highly symbolic. So, it's interesting when we read some of these visions that are happening in Zechariah or continuing forward with the book of Revelation. It's interesting to just observe ourselves in a number of ways. One, we can be like, “what? What does that mean? Like, how…how…how is that supposed to go” because of all the different symbolism and creatures and this doing that. So, it's interesting to look at ourselves and go, “what am taking literally? What do I understand is a symbol? Do I understand the symbolism? Where is this leading me?” And that's good and that's fine. And yeah, we can…we can get on the Internet or we can just look back into history and understand that interpretations of this literature are wide and varying and have been for thousands of years because other brothers and sisters have wrestled with the same thing in their time wondering what it means for them in their time. But when we hear the word apocalyptic or apocalypse, you know, it just sounds ominous, it's an ominous word. And yeah, I mean an apocalypse, is a…it's a…it’s a destruction, it's a cat…it’s a catastrophe. But the word of apocalypses in Greek at its core means Revelation. In other words, although this may be highly symbolic it was written down to reveal something that has yet to be revealed. And out of that literature today from the book of Zechariah we read something very famous, “it's not by force nor by strength, but by my Spirit, says the Lord of Heaven's armies.” Or maybe more famously quoted, “not by power, not by might, but by my Spirit's says the Lord of hosts.” If there were something that we should carry forward into the future into the next few days as we observe and celebrate Christmas but the next week as we move to the end of the year and all of the days of our lives it would be this, “it is not by our might. It is not by our power. It will be by the Spirit that we are led forward.” So, we can just apply that to the next like…just…just the Christmas celebrations that we will be involved in. We talked about that yesterday, how quickly things can go into interesting directions as the family dynamics of our childhoods like reassert themselves and we become little kids again even though we may have families of our own. I mean, we can take this, “it's not by might and put in our back pocket and reach in our back pocket any time we feel that anxiety or whatever rising up with…within and just remind ourselves, “it's not by might, it’s not by power, it's by the Spirit of the living God” that I can move forward. Or from the Psalms today, “even when my strength leaves me you watch my footsteps. I cry out to you oh Lord, I say you are my shelter, my security in the land of the living.” So, I mean we’re gonna receive gifts probably, we’re going to give gifts probably. No matter what is under that tree. No matter how beautifully wrapped it is it's not gonna be able to shelter your very soul. And, so, maybe his cheesy, you know, restate the clichés, “Jesus is the reason for the season, etc. etc.” but we should understand that there is a gift given to us, a Savior who is a shelter for our sole. And again, we’re out in front of us so we’re not tearing paper and figuring out what…how many garbage bags its gonna take to fill up all this paper. We’re out in front of it. Let's remember this gift. Like, you know, I don't know how to say it without sounding kind of cliché because we have all these little sayings to say, but if we would understand, like slowdown and understand what we’re saying it could be profoundly meaningful to us. A gift was given to us by God and all are welcome to have this gift. And this gift was that God came in person to inaugurate, to institute a personal relationship with us. That is a…that is a gift that there is no way to really adequately describe, that the most-high, the most-high God, the Creator of all things would like to give himself to you if you would give yourself back.

Prayer:

Father we…we meditate on that today, we contemplate that, we invite Your Holy Spirit to allow us to be reminded to consider this today as we run around trying to get all the little things done and keep ourselves safe and keep our family safe and all of the things that are going on. Help us to remember that You gave Yourself as a gift to us. There is no gift like that. And, so, come Holy Spirit, as we meditate upon it today. May we feel the joy of our salvation we pray in the name of Jesus. Amen.

Announcements:

dailyaudiobible.com is home base, it's the website, it’s where you find out what's going on around here. It's Christmas Eve Eve so that's kind of what's going on around you. Can you guys believe tomorrow is Christmas eve? That is…that is amazing. We have made it this far and I'm gonna…I’m gonna celebrate in my heart, with all my heart, the arrival of the Savior this season. We need the arrival of the Savior more than anything and this year has made us more aware of it than anything. So, let's…let’s just enjoy where we are.

There’s a couple of Christmas things that you could get involved in, the Family Christmas album that is sort of our Global Campfire soundtrack to the season, you can stream that wherever you stream music, or download it wherever you download music as well as the Christmas single that we released this year, O, Holy Night with Jill singing beautifully. So, you can do the same. You can stream that wherever you stream music or download that wherever you download music. So, check those out as we move right into the heart of…I mean this is the whole purpose of the season is to arrive at these days where we really, really, rejoice - joy to the world, the Lord has come. So, yeah, those resources are available. Tomorrow Jill will be virtually performing O Holy Night at a candlelight service. We will post up the links to that tomorrow in case like if you can’t I mean there's just a lot of things that have been switched around and switched up this year. A lot of us can't go to candlelight services while others of us can. So, if you have to attend a virtual candlelight service then we’ll post a link to where we will be virtually. So, we’ll post a link for that on social media tomorrow.

If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible in these remaining days of this unforgettable year that we have been navigating together in community day by day step-by-step then thank you. If what's been going on around here bringing the spoken word of God read fresh every day for anybody to listen to it anywhere any time and to keep building community around that rhythm, if that makes a difference then thank you for your partnership. There's a link on the homepage at dailyaudiobible.com. If you’re using the Daily Audio Bible app you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner or the mailing address is PO Box 1996 Spring Hill Tennessee 37174.

And, as always, if you have a prayer request or encouragement, you can hit the Hotline button in the app, which is the…which is the Hotline button in the app, the little red button up at the top that looks like a hotline button. You can press that or you can dial 877-942-4253.

And that is it for today. I’m Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

…and you’re wanting to be with Jesus, you’re wanting to die. I get that. I mean we probably all do, we probably all know that feeling, the pain of this world and then the goodness of God, the serenity we can feel in worship and the anguish we feel in struggles in life and the wickedness and sin of life. I want to encourage you, do not kill yourself. That is schemes and attacks of the evil one. Paul felt it in Scripture I’ve felt it, we’ve all felt it in different ways. Do not kill yourself. But yeah, like you are doing, give it to the Lord. If He wants to take you, have you die in some way and be with Him in life forever, Amen. If He has you here for a purpose, you know, what’s our purpose as a Christian? To share who He is, to evangelize so the rest of the world of people we know and love and see all the time when they die too they will not die forever in hell, they will live with Christ, with Yahweh. So, I want to encourage you. Don’t kill yourself. Don’t do it. But surrender your life to Him and evangelize. Don’t be some crazy old lady. I mean, you can be. The prophets were crazy. But, you know, just be a lady of love and a daughter of love and a wife of love. Alright, love you. Bye. Mike from New York.

Hello good morning, I just listened to your prayer request from my sister quiet confidence from Virginia and I’m so touched I have to call him right now. And the song and the prayer I said because your soul is overwhelmed the father will lead you to the rock that is __ than you right now. Even though you are asking for the Lord to take you home may the father that knows what is best for the children I pray that He will step into you matter and do what is best for you. This I ask in Jesus name, that the Lord will touch your body, your spirit and your soul and do what is best for you for his name’s sake in Jesus’ name. And I pray for as many of our brethren, brothers and sisters suffering one thing or the other that the spirit of the Lord will touch them, the balm of Gilead will heal you, and the hand of the Lord will touch you wherever you are in Jesus’ name. For skis the Lord that He led us, He sent His word and His __. Shalom __ this is your sister Addie from London. Bye.

I’m calling in for Quiet Confidence in Virginia. Sister I just want you to know that God is with you and He has never left you. He’s promised never to leave us or forsake us. And I won’t begin to say that I understand why and how it is that His children can suffer like you are. I know that in my life there’ve been times I’ve asked the Lord to go ahead and take me and remove me from whatever pain I was going through but I want to encourage you to lean on the Lord, to let Him love on you and…and also want to tell you that that is a lie of the accuser of our soul, that we are not saved. God has promised that He will hear the cry of repentance and that He will forgive you and He said that He sent Christ into this world so that we could be saved. That is his greatest joy, for you to call on Him as your heavenly Gather. So, Lord I pray across these miles for my sister who is tormented today, and I ask You by the Holy Spirit to strengthen her mind soul body and spirit and to raise her up and give her new joy and new peace in the midst of her pain Lord, to work a miracle in her life as only You can do and give her joy in Jesus’ name. Amen.

Good morning everyone this is Danny from Southern Oregon. Brian I just listened to Jill’s O Holy Night song and…O…was brought to tears. O my gosh she did such an absolutely phenomenal job. So, definitely gonna listen to that one over and over and over. And I just got my Klean Kanteen in the mail. I’m so excited to give that to my husband for Christmas. So, just wanted to say thank you for all…everything you do Brian just to enrich our lives every single day not only with the word but all these other things that you bring into the mix. So, thank you and God bless you and your family.

Dear Quiet Confidence this is Susan from Canada God’s Yellow Flower calling and I just want to encourage you my dear, sweetheart that God is not finished with you yet. I have been in that pit where there’s no sunlight, there’s only darkness. I have been suicidal and it’s only by the grace of God that it didn’t work out. And I just persevered with medication, with counseling and in prayer. Sometimes I would just lay on my bed and just pray the Lord’s prayer because I just did not know what to do. But He’s not finished with you yet my sweet. And once you rise out of this and into the light you will have an awesome testimony where you can encourage and help others as I hope I am doing for you. God will use you in this situation to help others. And, you know, I’ve been so blessed. And, oh my, I can’t even explain it. I’ve been so blessed with…with work at God has wanted me to do that I would have missed if He would have answered my prayer to end my life and take me home. Don’t forget, God is always with you. He’s walking you through this and you will be victorious as I have been victorious. It’s difficult…so hard. It’s not easy but hang in there, sweetheart. I’m praying for you and I love you. God bless.

Yes this is Lady T from Tennessee I would love to pray for the young lady that called in. She go by the name of Quiet Confidence from Virginia. I just lift her up. Father I pray for a sound mind over her. She’s asking God day take…take her home. Father I just pray that You restore the joy back in her in the name of Jesus, that she is made whole in Jesus’ holy name.

[yascaret]

really LONG CHARACTER SURVEY.

(I edited/removed some of the questions to make this more FFXIV-friendly)

RULES.  Repost,  don’t  reblog  ! Tag  10  !  Good  luck!

TAGGED BY.  No one, I just wanted to do it lol

TAGGING. @gvnbreaker @wood-warder @necrologos @finishing-touch @glory-bound @vysaldhe @violet-warder @whisperingdawn and anyone else who wants to do it!

BASICS.

FULL  NAME :   Lofn Yascaret

NICKNAME :  None (yet??)

AGE :  Appears around 30 by hyur standards 

BIRTHDAY :   Midwinter 

ETHNIC  GROUP : Viera (Rava)

NATIONALITY :  Ivalician (?)

LANGUAGE / S : Common

SEXUAL  ORIENTATION :  Homosexual

ROMANTIC  ORIENTATION : Homoromantic

RELATIONSHIP  STATUS :  In a relationship with Aja Hyskaris & Pjel Qoet

HOME  TOWN / AREA :  Yascaret, Golmore

CURRENT  HOME :  A small, cluttered house in Shirogane

PROFESSION : Disaster lesbian, whiner

PHYSICAL.

HAIR : White with faint violet undertones. Thick, heavy bangs that partially obscure her eyes. Her hair is very dense and wavy, and it reaches her waist when loose.

EYES :   Violet, but the left is considerably paler than the right

FACE :   Pretty, if melancholy. Pronounced cheeks, prominent nose, striking profile. 

LIPS :  Small, but full. Usually painted a dark brown.

COMPLEXION : A dark, barely warm brown. Mottled with white “freckles” in places (nose, cheeks, shoulders, breasts, lower back)

BLEMISHES : None of note

SCARS :  A few old, faded scars here and there from a life long left behind her

TATTOOS :  None

HEIGHT :   Nearly seven fulms

WEIGHT :   Average

BUILD :   Slim, but more bottom-heavy. Her upper arms are the only indication of muscle left from the Wood.

FEATURES :   Feminine, pleasant (by viera standards, at least). Has a very defined nose and a striking profile. Heavy-lidded eyes that naturally lend to melancholy expressions.

ALLERGIES :   None of note

USUAL  HAIR  STYLE :  High, messy ponytail. Dense, thick bangs that almost completely obscure her eyes

USUAL  FACE  LOOK :  Melancholy, aloof, heavy-lidded eyes and faint, pensive frowns

USUAL  CLOTHING :   Loose, comfortable blouses, leather trousers, tall heeled boots. Browns, whites, silver, violet

PSYCHOLOGY.

FEAR / S : Abandonment, loss of loved ones, loss of her senses

ASPIRATION / S :  To find some amount of meaning in her life outside the Wood, to find her calling

POSITIVE  TRAITS :  Resourceful, passionate, resilient

NEGATIVE  TRAITS :  Aloof, anxious, self-destructive

MBTI :  ISFP-T (Adventurer)

ZODIAC :  Menphina (Aquarius in real world)

TEMPERAMENT :  Melancholic

SOUL  TYPE / S :   Artisan (I have no idea what this means??? I googled it and took a buzzfeed quiz for her lol)

ANIMALS :   Rabbit

VICE HABIT / S :   Pining, infatuation, brooding, oversleeping, stress eating

FAITH :  Belief, sure--faith, not really

GHOSTS ? :  Why not?

AFTERLIFE ? :  Why not?

REINCARNATION ? :  Why not? But probably more likely than afterlife.

ALIENS ? :   Probably

POLITICAL ALIGNMENT : Zero concept of politics outside the wood and she intends to keep it that way, being a selfish bitch

EDUCATION  LEVEL :  Average education level of the average rava viera

FAMILY.

FATHER :   lmao

MOTHERS :  Dead to her, all four of them 

SIBLINGS :   One older sister (that she knows of)--their relationship was not great

EXTENDED  FAMILY :  Countless cousins and half-sisters, none of which she knows anything about

NAME MEANING / S :  Lofn, from the village Yascaret

HISTORICAL  CONNECTION ? : It matters not

FAVORITES.

BOOK :  She’s the type of freak who reads instruction manuals and spellbooks for fun, so probably one of those

DEITY :  She tries not to think about them

HOLIDAY :  Moonfire Faire (does that count as a holiday?)

MONTH :  The warm ones

SEASON :  Summer

PLACE :  Her bedroom, or the Azim Steppe

WEATHER :  Thunderstorms, though she is growing more fond of snow

SOUND / S:  Rain on the roof, thunder in the distance, the sound of wind through flowers or trees

SCENT / S :  Honeysuckle, cedarwood, leather, girlfriend ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

TASTE / S :  Honeysuckle, orchid, girlfriend ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

FEEL / S :  Soft moss, clean sheets, sheepskin, girlfriend ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

ANIMAL / S :  Cats

NUMBER :  3

COLORS :  Violet, brown

EXTRA.

TALENTS : Picking up new things (especially technical things),  singing (though she doesn’t sing anymore, ever), 

BAD  AT :  Getting her shit together and keeping her shit together

TURN  ONS :  Shitty smirks, sweet smiles, pet names, fleeting touches, romanticism

TURN  OFFS : Men

HOBBIES : Drawing, writing, gardening, tinkering

TROPES :  Lipstick Lesbian, Insecure Love Interest, Marry Them All, One True Threesome, I Have No Son!, Traumatic Superpower Awakening, Mad Whisper, Country Mouse, Affluent Ascetic, Lady and Knight, Eye Colour Change, Sky Pirate, Combat Stilettos, Dark-Skinned Blond, Statuesque Stunner, Wrench Wench, You Can't Go Home Again, The Gift (I have to stop or I will be on TV Tropes all day)

QUOTES : "Oh no”

MUN QUESTIONS.

Q1 :   If you could write your character your way in their own movie,  what would it be called,  what style would it be filmed in, and what would it be about?          

A1 :  It would probably just be Mulholland Drive but everyone has rabbit ears

Q2 :   What would their soundtrack/score sound like?          

A2 :  Dreamy and melanchol, like The Duke of Burgundy’s OST if it sounded less sinister

Q3 :   Why did you start writing this character?          

A3 :   Because when viera came out I knew exactly what I wanted my viera to be--a physically strong, emotionally stable badass warrior lady who doesn’t afraid of anything--so naturally she became the exact opposite of that because at all times my subconscious is trying to sabotage me 

Q4 :   What first attracted you to this character?          

A4 :   My grubby little gay hands wrapping around Final Fantasy Tactics Advance in 2003 and seeing a viera for the first time. Also, my grubby little 1999 gay brain struggling to comprehend why I thought Ultimecia was so hot

Q5 :   Describe the biggest thing you dislike about your muse.

A5 :   Sometimes writing her is stressful because I channel my own past experiences with depression and anxiety a little too hard I think. Also her overarching themes I want to eventually bring out via RP storylines are so ambitious and complicated that I feel entirely too stupid to write it well so I’m always at least a little bit stressed about that

Q6 :   What do you have in common with your muse?          

A6 :   Crippling depression lmao

Q7 :   How does  your muse feel about  you?          

A7 :   She’d probably not even acknowledge my existence because I’m a human and what good is that

Q8 :   What characters does your muse have interesting interactions with ?        

A8 :   I feel like Pjel and Aja are the obvious choice so I feel a little shitty saying Pjel and Aja, but...I really love playing Lofn off both of them, I feel like they perfectly compliment different parts of her personality that I really enjoy writing (mainly her pettiness and her gayness) and I feel like Lofn also prods at both of their insecurities just by being her terrible self, and it’s fun for me to watch them squirm lol

Q9 :   What gives  you inspiration  to write  your muse ?        

A9 :    Um, premenstrual syndrome?? Lmao but for real if I’m struggling I’ll just go watch some Gentleman Jack (Lofn is literally Ann Walker, sorry) or listen to some FF8/FF9 music, or dick around in FF12 for a bit. Basically I identify a handful of loose inspirational touchstones for a character and fuck around with all of them until inspiration strikes

Q10 :  How long did this take you to complete ?          

A10 :  About a week, off and on...

[twotwinks]

a thing i was tagged in a long time ago by @rochc93. i am, believe it or not, attempting to catch up on these things. i always intend to do them but it’s either not a good time when i think about them or i’m not thinking about them. sorry i’m a mess

Who were you named after?

First name, nobody bitch. That’s all me. Middle name, like twenty different characters who are important to me but all on accident because I didn’t realize we shared the name until after I’d picked it. Notable instances include Rita Rose Vrataski from Edge of Tomorrow and also Amy Rose (a recent discovery). Last name, Gary King and also because I like confusing people about my gender by deliberately using a “male” title while presenting female (though hopefully not for much longer) and also being nonbinary. (Also s/o to ladies who call themselves king instead of queen. Yes I’m thinking of Kagamine Rin in the WanOpo songs Death Should Not Have Taken Thee and Our Adventure Log Has Vanished.)

Last time you cried?

two weeks ago to the day, when my dad let our dog Koko get hit by a car, things have been Extra Bad around here since then

Do you like your handwriting?

No. When I was little everyone always used to tell me how pretty it was but then I started trying to be a Serious Writer and my penmanship degraded as a result of how fast I had to get the words out of my head. Now my mom whines all the time about how messy and illegible my writing is.

What is your favorite lunch meat?

TURKEY

Longest relationship?

Umm....about two years ago for about three months-ish? I think? Maybe two months? I don’t know, we were dating for Christmas and then I broke up with him right before Valentine’s Day because my mental health couldn’t take it. I realized I was aro shortly after. Who would’ve guessed, huh?

Do you still have your tonsils?

Yep!

Do you bungee jump?

no and i never will

What is your favorite kind of cereal?

Dude this changes like monthly. Sometimes Honey Bunches of Oats. Sometimes Frosted Flakes. Sometimes I get a ridiculously strong craving for Strawberry Awake or Lucky Charms or Honey Nut Cheerios. I just get to eat cereal so infrequently that I can’t really have a favorite, I just have to indulge whatever craving I currently have because I only get the chance to eat one box every three months or so.

Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?

Yes because when I was little my mom ingrained into me that not untying my shoes first would ruin the backs of them way faster than they should. In all fairness we were poor and couldn’t afford to buy me new shoes that often because my feet are so sensitive that an actual comfortable pair costs $100.

Do you think you’re strong willed?

oh fuck no i mean have you ever spoken to me??? i’m the biggest baby pushover to ever live

Favorite ice cream?

Either that Death by Chocolate stuff they serve at Purdue’s dining courts sometimes or mint chocolate chip. It has to be green though or it loses something sdkhsdhk

What is the first thing you notice about a person?

Usually like their shirt, I guess? I don’t know, this isn’t something I’ve ever really thought about. Maybe it’s also if they have one of those annoying faces or voices. Or if they have a queer vibe. Look I’m not good with people ok.

Football or baseball?

Football but only because marching band and/or soccer

Favorite doughnut?

Okay this is going to sound weirdly specific but. Chocolate cake donut with chocolate frosting and rainbow sprinkles. Also on a related note I once let a girl in high school copy my homework (that I myself had found the answers to on the internet, it was a really unfair English assignment). She was so happy that she said she’d buy me a donut for breakfast the next day (she made a donut run for herself once a week as a special treat). I gave her my oddly specific request, but since I knew it was kind of a rare donut to find I told her anything chocolate would work. The next day, lo and behold, she showed up with the perfect donut. She had them make it special for me (insert Discord’s pleading face emoji). That was the day I learned my lesson about judging “dumb blondes”.

What music are you listening to?

I’ve been back into Touhou doujin arrangements again lately, especially eurobeat. However I’m also hyperfixating on Sonic the Hedgehog again so the game soundtracks and the Crush 40 albums are starting to show up in my frequent rotation on Spotify.

If you were a crayon, what color would you be?

The obvious choice is mint green but I could also very easily be a lime green or a glittery ruby slippers red.

Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?

I believe I talked to my grandma a little bit on my mom’s phone not that long ago? Other than that according to my phone it looks like I took a call from my dad back in April?

Hair color?

that real deep almost black brown. i nearly got into a fistfight with some boys in second grade who insisted my hair was black. it’s not black it’s just very thick. it actually looks much lighter if you just separate a smaller chunk and look at it.

Eye color?

Hazel. Brown with some green flecks. Or possibly green with some brown flecks. Also both of my irises look different up close but you can’t tell unless you’re really up in my face.

Favorite food to eat?

pasta but it can’t have red sauce

Scary movies or happy endings?

happy endings all the way

Last film you watched in the cinema?

do you really expect me to remember this. i honestly do not fucking know. i have no brain when it comes to movie theaters. i was gonna do a double feature of birds of prey and the sonic movie the tuesday before spring break (cheap prices for students!!!) but i ended up having a headache that day so i couldn’t go and then shit hit the fan and there was no theatergoing. i have tried and failed to get my parents to rent the sonic movie since. i’m very unhappy about it now that i’m hyperfixating again.

What color shirt are you wearing?

well i think it used to be white but it’s really old so now it’s like off-white. also it has a big snake on the back. i don’t even like snakes i just enjoy this shirt.

Favorite holiday?

Christmas!!! I don’t necessarily actually enjoy celebrating the holiday (thanks fam) but I love the idea behind it and the aesthetics. Also it’s peppermint season!

Beer or wine?

Listen I am super picky about alcohol. I haven’t liked any of the wine I’ve tried, but the first two wines I had other people told me it was bad (and then they took me out and bought me alcohol I would actually like because I’d never drank before and apparently getting me tipsy in Ireland over spring break was an Honor for them I literally didn’t pay for a single drink that night) and the third wine I had was paired with the wrong type of food (we couldn’t get the Right wine bottle open). I didn’t really mind the beer I tried in Ireland though, so I guess beer? I really like cider best though, and apparently I can also handle vodka.

Night owl or morning person?

night owl i wish i could be nocturnal

Favorite day of the week?

Friday. It has all the joy and anticipation of the coming weekend without the curse of my dad being home or the responsibility of homework looming over everything.

Favorite animal?

HEDGEHOG yeah i never really got past that from when i was little. but i also just love pretty much all animals. except like. snakes and spiders but sometimes snakes have their moments.

Do you have a pet?

Yeah. We have a lot of “family” pets but I consider Patches (cat) and Gabby (dog) to be Mine Specifically. If my mom hadn’t forced me out of therapy I’d probably be bringing Patches with me to college next year as an emotional support animal.

Where would you like to travel?

Europe babey. I just wanna hang out in France and England and Scotland and also go back to Ireland. I miss Ireland so much y’all.

ok that’s it. that’s all for this one. i’m not tagging anyone because i’m sure it’s already made the rounds among everyone. but if it missed you and you still wanna do it go for it. consider yourself tagged. poof.

[timetoresurface]

Dream Glow / JJK (1)

a steady radiance of light or heat

Word: Listening to Dream Glow by BTS and Charli XCX gave me a new dose of inspiration. This is what I came up with after weeks of radio silence. Pairing: Y/N x Jungkook Genre: Romance, as I’m a hopeless romantic, best friend idol au Warnings: nothing really, maybe a bit angsty covered in fluff Word count: 5K Summary: You’re just trying to make it though the day with Jungkook being your best friend. Distance and personal issues make it hard to maintain this friendship but you are both dedicated. The day Jungkook admits to like someone is the day you start to realize how much you actually like that stupid boy. What should you do?

-

Everything you are is average. You work an ordinary job filled with normal people trying to make it through the day. The apartment you live in is a regular home for a city person. The daily routine of your life was a simple comfort blanket, something to shield you from all the risks you hadn’t taken. You were happy, or at least you made yourself believe you were. You were satisfied with a simple life because you had chosen to settle for the ordinary.

“Y/N!” Your boss yelled through the office making everyone feel insecure and scared. You however were used by your boss’s rude behavior. What did he need this time? And why did he have to scream for attention when you were almost finished with your project?

“You called for me sir?” You asked while entering his office. The room was painted in a dull grey and was filled with dark furniture. The only splash of color were the plants that were scattered through his office. You took quite an interest in his plants as you were the only one watering them. You were the only one that cared as your boss never liked the smelly green things his wife had given him throughout the years.

“Have you already finished the report about the returning customers?” He asked you with despair in his voice. He probably had a fight with his wife or something because he usually wasn’t the desperate kind of man.

“I was just finishing up. I can send it to you in half an hour if you’d like.” You politely answered his question with fake politeness. 

“That would be perfect.” He gestured for you to leave his office and you gladly exited. This was a weekly routine and you weren’t as scared as you had been before. Your boss is just someone who likes perfection and as long as you deliver something close to excellence he would leave you to do your job. 

You handed him the report when it was finished. You had lunch with two of your colleagues you could kind of call your friends. Afterwards you cleaned your inbox starting with the more urgent ones before calling it a day. There wasn’t any adventure in your daily routine, it mostly was just you trying to make it through the day without crying.

“See you tomorrow Y/N.” One of your colleagues said while speed walking through the rain, she had forgotten her umbrella and tried to avoid the droplets by zigzagging. 

“Bye.” You said while opening your umbrella. The walk back to your place was only a ten minute walk. Something you loved about your job as it was the only time of the day where you could clear your thoughts. Nothing satisfies you more than walking through the busy city streets with a good soundtrack playing in the background. The most adventure you got in your day were these ten minutes where you tried not to get hit by cars and ignored people’s rude remarks when you walked too slow. 

Your thoughts were interrupted by your cellphone loudly playing stressed out by Twenty One Pilots. Who dares to interrupt your only ten minutes of freedom? 

“Y/N speaking?” You didn’t look at the caller ID thinking it wouldn’t be someone important. The only meaningful person in your life was always traveling the world and barely had time to call you every other week.

“Y/N it is me! Did you delete my number?” The caller’s voice yelled from the other side of the line. All annoyance disappeared as soon as you heard his melodic voice.

“Jungkook!” You exclaimed. “No, I would never delete your number, you know that.” A smile found its way to your face and you couldn’t even remember the last time your muscles were found in this position. The last time you smiled this big was probably the last time Jungkook had called you.

“Lately I’m not so sure Y/N. I’m always the one calling and making sure our friendship keeps on existing.” You could hear the little pout through his voice. Always a baby.

“You’re always busy when I call. I can literally drop everything when you’re calling. I mean you can’t stop singing in the middle of a show just to talk to me.” It was a stupid excuse but it was the one you were going to hide behind.

“I would though.” He whispered but you barely heard him over the buzz in the background.

“Where are you? It is so noisy.” You asked him genuinely interested in his whereabouts.

“Backstage at some award show.” Was his vague answer. Sometimes it was really difficult to keep up a good satisfying conversation with him.

“Oh. Did you win anything?” You tried to poke him again to receive more than just some lazy answer he would give to his mom.

“Yes, we just came back from the acceptance speech. It was great.” He sounded happy but also tired. They probably still have to perform as they’re the biggest act at the moment. And they like to keep the best for last.

“I’m proud of you Jungkook.” And you meant it. You had met Jungkook while he was already in BTS, the early stages, at school. He wasn’t always in class as he had to practice and perform but when he was present he immediately caught your eye. Maybe you had wanted something more than friendship at the time but you settled to just be his friend. You were selfish, you knew that, you just wanted him in your life. Also you were both sixteen at the time, who was ready for something as serious as a relationship. Definitely not you.

“Y/N, tomorrow we’ll be flying home. Wait for me at our dorms?” His question was so innocent. He just wanted someone familiar to hug while arriving back home before the shit storm of practice starts again.

“Send me your schedule and I’ll be there when you arrive.” You accepted his offer even if you had to call in sick at work.

“Okay great. See you in a bit.”

“See you.” With you saying the last words the call had ended. Your friendship with Jungkook had been the most important thing in your life for the past year. He didn’t know that and you kind of wanted to keep it that way. He doesn’t need to know you hated your job and he most definitely doesn’t need to find out about your zero friends. You hadn’t always been such a mood killer but the past two years everything had changed and somehow you ended up as an old single lady complaining about everything. Except when you were with Jungkook or the other members of BTS. You were always at your best behavior when you were with them, reminding yourself of who you used to be before you had turned into the old screaming neighborhood lady with a thousand cats. Even though you had not one cat as your building forbade you to have pets, the bastards.

## flashback ##

You were busy taking all your books out of your backpack when the teacher called for your attention. A new boy was enrolling in your class and he was a trainee, a wannabe idol. There were a few others in your class who were trainee’s and you could immediately tell they were never going to make it. They just didn’t have the special cuteness you needed to become a well respected idol. You were still setting up your desk when the teacher introduced the new boy. You didn’t need to look at him to know he was just another wannabe trying to become something bigger than the stars had planned out for him. 

“I’m Jungkook. Hello.” He awkwardly said with a voice as clear as crystal. You head instantly snapped up to look at the new boy and for the first time you saw someone close to resemble a future idol. He could if he wanted to, but his shy behavior might be mistaken for someone who didn’t really want to do anything but hide. 

“You can sit next to Y/N.” The teacher said while gesturing toward you. Jungkook didn’t seem too pleased when he followed the teachers finger but you were excited. Never had you seen someone so innocent and intriguing. Maybe it were your teenage hormones finally acting up or maybe it was fate. Who could tell?

The first few weeks he was there every single day but you still hadn’t said a word to him. You secretly admired him from afar and wondered if he had gotten any sleep that night. You weren’t the only one intrigued by the new boy but he didn’t seem to care. He had made one friend, another trainee, and didn’t even try to contact anyone else. The day you had finally found all your courage to go and talk to him, he wasn’t there. And he was gone for a week before he got back to school with his ears pierced and his hair dyed another color. All your courage had disappeared and you were back at admiring him from a distance. Noticing little things like him always trying to hide his laugh even though it was the most beautiful sound you had ever heard. 

Months went by and your obsession with the boy had started to die out as your favorite artist had released a new song. Maybe it were the Gods playing tricks on you but the moment you started to lose him in a crowd they pushed him right back into your lap.

“Please take a number and the person who has the same number will be your partner during this project.” Your teacher said while walking through the room so everyone could pick a number. Some tried to cheat and others were trying to change numbers with someone else trying to bribe them with little things. You noticed Jungkook’s number before you checked yours. He had a big nine written on a paper and you had the same nine on yours. 

“Y/N can you maybe change numbers? I really want to be paired up with Jungkook.” Some girl in your class whispered into your ear. It was one of those girls who wore make-up even though it was strictly forbidden by school rules. Somehow the teachers didn’t notice her young features highlighted with mascara and lipstick. 

“Y/N you also have a nine right?” Jungkook came to your rescue and for the first time your eyes locked. Slowly you nodded your head and you both agreed later on this was the moment your friendship had officially started.

## end flashback ##

Luckily for your boss Jungkook arrived late at night which meant you could spend your Friday at work. Unluckily for you, Jungkook had to arrive past nine PM making you go to your desk and sit through boring mails and phone calls. He had send you a couple of texts throughout the day and your colleagues noticed your different behavior. 

“It is strange to see you smile during office hours.” Someone had said.

“Maybe she has a date tonight? She looks extremely good today.” You heard someone whisper to another colleague. You didn’t care for their words as the only thing that mattered was you and Jungkook reuniting after months of separation. You had also checked out his schedule and he was staying for over a month which meant a month of happiness and endless cuddles. 

“Y/N can you finish this off for me? I need to go pick up my mom from the hospital.” One of your closest co-workers asked. You didn’t really belief her as her outfit screamed more date night than hospital taxi driver but you simple agreed as you had the time due to Jungkook arriving late.

Hours went by slowly, very slowly. Jungkook hadn’t texted you anymore which meant his must be on a plane but it made you nervous. You hadn’t seen him in a while and he always stayed the same shy annoying boy you got to know and love, but you were always expecting the worst. What if his famous status got to his head and he would become someone like those Hollywood assholes? You shivered at the thought. But luckily your phone started buzzing making you forget these ugly thoughts of your best friend.

“Hi Y/N! We just landed. I’ll be there in an hour or so.” He exclaimed happily with the dying motor of the airplane being heard in the background.

“Ok, see you soon.” You simply stated before hanging up the phone. You quickly gathered your things and ran out of your office building after shutting all the lights as you were the last to leave. 

Every time you went to meet Jungkook after haven’t seen him for a long time you were nervous. Just as nervous as the first time he took you to his dorms to start working on your school project. Which was of course a bad idea as everyone else in his band wanted to disturb you. It also didn’t help that you were a girl and they barely saw girls around their dorms which made them even more annoying. Over the years they had changed dorms and some of them had also bought their own apartment, including Jungkook and his extravagant luxurious apartment. He still asked you to hang out at his dorm which made you unsure of his intentions. Were you going to spend a couple of hours together or were you going to spend the night talking about everything and nothing? 

Some of the staff had already arrived and welcomed you with open arms. They had not only seen Jungkook grow up to be a fine human being but they also noticed you becoming more of a woman. Hugs were exchanged and short anecdotes were told, not from your side as you barely had anything new to say. 

“Jungkook missed you Y/N. I want to see his face when he notices you here.” One of the staff members said and you couldn’t help but blush. At the beginning most of the staff didn’t like you hanging out with Jungkook. Scared that one of you might fall for the other or even worse, someone might see you two hanging out. Luckily nobody was in love with the other and luckily, but rather unlucky for you, Jungkook couldn’t spend all his free time with you as he was too busy traveling the world with his best friends. 

“How have you been Y/N?” Someone of the management asked you and you knew the boys must be close as they’re barely seen without their managers.

“I’ve been good. I’ve been working and everything is ok.” You tried to sound happy and up beat but you secretly needed Jungkook to bring that side back out of you.

“Other things outside work?” He asked you with concern in his eyes but you couldn’t answer him as someone hugged you from behind.

“Y/N!” It was Jungkook’s voice screaming in your ear. It were Jungkook’s arms holding you so tight you could barely breathe. 

“Kook. Oh, how I’ve missed you.” You turned around and hugged him tightly with your arms around his neck taking in his scent. Slowly all your worries disappeared and slowly the energy creeped back into your body. Jungkook was like your only charger in this world. The only one who could make you feel happy despite everything. 

“You look incredible. Have you lost weight?” Typically of an idol to compliment your weight and inquiring if you really did lose weight. 

“Maybe by accident. Did you gain weight though?” You cupped his cheeks in your hand and tried to examine him.

“I only gain muscles.” He said while showing off his arms. You quickly squeezed his arm and were surprised with the hardness of his muscles.

“Missed me that much you had to escape to a gym?” You gently teased him.

“You don’t even know half of it Y/N.” Taehyung said while walking passed Jungkook toward you. Out of all the boys Tae might have been your favorite member of BTS. Not only was he good-looking but also the nicest human being you had ever met. He quickly enveloped you in a big hug. 

“I feel like Jungkook has a lot of explaining to do.” You said as soon as Taehyung ended the hug.

“I’ll make sure he never lies and tells you all the nasty details without filter.” His words were more directed toward Jungkook than you.

“I would love that Tae. So how was tour?” You asked the two boys while walking inside with your arms around both their shoulders.

“Sooooo…” Jungkook started. “What’s new?” He asked excitedly. 

“Soooo…” you mimicked his adorable behavior. “How was tour?” You asked him trying to ignore his question.

“I’ve already told you about that Y/N. I feel like we’re only talking about me lately and I want to know more about your life.” He tried to get you to talk.

“There is nothing to tell and even if there was it isn’t as exciting as your stories.” This was the second time you were trying to ignore his questions about you.

“Your stories are always interesting. I can’t think of anyone who is better with words than you are.”

“That’s a lie and you know it.” You laughed.

“I never lie. Have you been working on your stories?” How long were you going to ignore his inquiries? This was starting to get hard.

“Not as much as I would’ve liked but there is some progress.” You told him, which was a big fat lie. You hadn’t written anything after a well known publisher told you to f*ck off. 

“That is good news though. Can I read some?” He asked you so innocently, you almost wanted to admit your failure of a life to him.

“Only when it is fin-“

“finished. I know.” He completed your sentence and a small smile appeared. Sometimes you forgot how fond you were of the boy sitting cross legged across you. 

“Please Jungkook, tell me about your life? What is new? Do you have fresh scar? Is there anyone who caught your eye while I wasn’t in the picture to distract you?” He rolled his eyes at your desperate attempt to change the topic from you to him. Which kind of worked as he started to blush.

“What is it? Why are you blushing?”

“Nothing, but there might be someone.” The blush on his face got bigger and redder.

“Who? Tell me everything.” You cried out.

“We started texting a while back and she’s finishing her tour in a couple of days and then her band will take a little break like ours. We promised each other to make time and have a little date.” He blurted out and you could immediately tell he had waited to tell you about this girl, who is not you.

## flashback ##

“So this is the last time Y/N is going to join us here?” Taeyhung asked sadly with a big baby pout. BTS had debuted two years ago and were finally getting a bit bigger. Their looks were starting to get better and they left their bad boy imitations, which were cringe to say the least. 

“Don’t blame me Tae, blame Jungkook. He thinks I’m a distraction because you all work less when I’m around.” You pretended to be hurt but in reality you weren’t. You knew they worked less when you were around and you really didn’t want them to lose focus of their goals which were finally getting closer they could almost touch it.

“I never said you weren’t welcome anymore. You’re making this a way bigger issue than it really is.” Jungkook tried to reason with you but only making things worse.

“You literally just said I wasn’t welcome anymore. So I’ll never set foot again in your smelly dorm.” You said with crossed arms trying to look hurt.

“Please Y/N, don’t do this. Please forget what I said, you are always welcome.” Jungkook pleaded with you and you couldn’t help but smile at his pouty face.

“It’s okay, Kook. I won’t leave you.” You said while cupping his cheeks with your hands. He tried to escape but you weren’t letting him go. You both locked eyes and he immediately stopped resisting and just stared at your face as if you were the only one that mattered.

“You guys are so disgustingly cute sometimes.” Taehyung said while walking away from the two of you. 

“He is right though, we’re disgusting.” You said while averting your eyes from his intense gaze.

“I think we’re just cute, not disgusting.” The words escaped his mouth in a little pout.

“Maybe he is right and we’re both.” With that being said the both of you burst out laughing. The kind of extreme laughing your belly would start to hurt after a while. The kind of giggling which left you breathless. The kind of happiness only Jungkook could give you.

## end flashback ##

Yes, there might have been a time where you thought you and Jungkook would’ve ended up together. That thought was easily broken when you had your first boyfriend and Jungkook started to keep his distance out of respect for the other guy. Jungkook was always traveling or working and because you missed him so much you fell into the arms of another guy. Someone who started out as a dream guy but slowly turned into the villain of your story. 

“I’m glad you’re finally dating. It was about time.” You happily said while clapping your hands in excitement. There was a soft pang of jealousy at the pit of your stomach but you easily ignored the feeling.

“When are you going to date again?” His question came out as a whisper. A very insecure whisper.

“I date.” You defended yourself while trying to avert your eyes from his questioning ones.

“Really? When was your last date?” He asked you.

“I didn’t know you were going to be so up my personal life. I would’ve made you a FAQ if I had known you were in such an intrusive mood.” You tried to joke away the awkward questions.

“It is not intrusive but more of a bit concerned about you mood.” His eyes softened and again you were close to pouring your heart out to the guy.

“You don’t need to be concerned about me. You need to be concerned about you and your date.” With your words being said he turned into the shy Jungkook you knew and loved. 

“I’m so nervous Y/N. You need to prepare me.”

“There is nothing for you to prepare. You’re an amazing person Jungkook and if she doesn’t see that than she is not worthy of your time. But you told me you were texting her?” You asked him genuinely interested. 

“Yes, I’ve known her for a while now but last month at an award show we talked for the first time. She immediately gave me her number and Taehyung told me to text her the next day if I didn’t want to screw up.” He blurted out in one breath. 

“Tae can be wise. That was indeed a good tactic. We’re too old to play games. If you want to date someone there should be no waiting two days before you call.” You said while nodding your head.

“Girls like that?” He asked you unsure.

“Girls like it when a guy makes an effort to talk to them. We girls like to feel special.” You softly explained to him. It wasn’t his fault he knew so little about the other sex. He had lived a shielded life with you as the only exception of a non idol person in his environment. 

“I missed you so much Y/N. You’re the only one I can talk to about this fragile subject. The other guys are barely more experienced than I am.” His eyes were filled with emotions you couldn’t quite explain. They used to be filled with love and affection for you but there has been a shift. He has traded these eyes for someone else and you were left with something different you couldn’t pinpoint what exactly.

“I’m always here for you Jungkook.” You told him your eyes filled with regret. You would always be there for him but will he stay by your side through thick and thin? Through a relationship? Trough everything?

## flashback ##

“Who is the guy you are dating?” Jungkook asked you a bit too loud. Everyone stopped the conversations they were having just to listen to your answer.

“Well, we’re not really dating. We’re just hanging out, you know.” You softly told him. You tried to keep your voice down and hoped Jungkook got the memo.

“That’s dating.” He shot back. The other people in the room tried to start their discussions again as they noticed the private atmosphere hanging round you and Jungkook. Why was he acting like such a d*ick?

“Why are you acting like this?” You hissed.

“You could’ve told me sooner.” Jungkook tried to unfist his hands as he was finally calming down. He never wanted you to be angry so every time he noticed you getting worked up, he just stopped being an ass. Or at least he tried.

“I wanted to tell you in person and not through face time as this is a very personal and important matter.” You calmly explained to him.

“How long has it been going on?” He whispered silently. 

“A month or so. I don’t know exactly when it all started.” You tried to clarify but it was all new for you too. You had never considered dating anyone and when Eunwoo happened to cross your path you tried to fight it off as long as you could.

“Are you happy?” There was something in his eyes making your insides go soft. But you ignored these feelings.

“I really am, Jungkook. Eunwoo is a great guy and I would love for you to meet him.” 

“If he’s that important to you, I’ll make an effort to like him.”

“That’s all I’m asking Jungkook. Now can we continue eating and feasting as we haven’t seen each other for four months or do you want to keep being an ass to your only best friend?” The both of you started laughing as he put his arm over your shoulder. You leaned into him, taking in his smell at the same time Jungkook kissed the top of your head. This was your safe place and you wouldn’t want to trade it for the world.

## end flashback ##

“Remember to smile.” You told Jungkook while you were doing his hair. 

“I can do that.” He said more to himself.

“Also remember to listen to her. Not just listen but ask her small questions about whatever she was talking about. Otherwise it would just seem like you were waiting for her to stop talking so you can start talking.” You stopped tugging at his long hair and took a step back to admire your work. Jungkook was in full date outfit and mindset. There was no way this was going to turn sour. 

“Do I look good?” He asked you shyly. 

“You always look like the most handsome man in the room.” You honestly complimented him while your hand hovered over his cheek. Your hand never touched his face as he was going to date another girl. That girl was going to be the only one allowed to touch his face like that.

“Thank you.” He grabbed your hand and held it in between his hands “for everything.” He finished.

“What are best friends for, right?” You tried to swallow the lump in your throat. There was son way this date was going to fail. So deep in your heart you knew this was your last moment with Jungkook without having to control your hands. His eyes were looking for yours but you tried to ignore this stare. The moment your eyes would lock with his, you would start to cry and to be honest, he doesn’t deserve that kind of negativity before a date. 

“It is time for me to leave.” He said while standing up. His hands never let go of yours though so you were forced to also stand up.

“Ok, have a good time and remember to listen to her.” You said while taking your hands out of his. He was on his own now. You couldn’t hold his hand forever, you know.

“Yes, and something about never smiling.” He joked, which got a laugh out of you.

“Honestly, if you smile or even if you don’t, you’re still the best guy to date. You’re a real catch, my friend.” 

“It’s a shame we never dated.” He started which got your heart beating double its normal speed. “You deserve a good guy to date.”

“I’ll find him when the time is right but please Jungkook, leave before you’re too late and blame it all on me.” You said trying to ignore the butterflies in your stomach and the lump in your throat. He kissed your cheek and left to go to his date. You fell to floor, feeling drained. It was a first, having to pretend to be happy and cheerful around Jungkook as he usually got it out of you without a problem. But today you had to feign your smile and it didn’t feel good.

[im-gonna-liveforever]

ITS HECKIN TWISTED APPRECIATION WEEK SO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS (part 1/2)

“YEAH THAT’S RIGHT I’M GONNA YELL ABOUT THE SOUNDTRACK LIKE I DID LAST WEEK BC TWISTED IS A GOOD HECKING MUSICAL WITH A GOOD HECKING SOUNDTRACK

(Now with favorite lines! bc why not, right?) (favorite lines either there bc I like the lyrics in that part or I really like how it sounds within the song)

I’m not a professional music person (I’ve been in band for several years and I’m pretty good, but I don’t know anything about music theory or anything abt singing) but AH WELL, I LIKE RANTING ABT MY SPECIAL INTERESTS AND THE INTERNET IS A GOOD PLACE TO FEEL LIKE I’M TALKING TO SOMEONE, SO HERE WE GO

(also there’s definitely going to be Twisted spoilers under the cut (for act one, at least), so watch out if you haven't seen it)

(also also I split this into two parts bc it’s getting late and as you can see by how this progresses, I got sleep deprived quickly plus it got way too long. This is part one with all the first act songs, part two will have the second act songs and should be up by tomorrow.)

OK THE OPENING NUMBER RIGHT?? THE INSTRUMENTALS?? THE HARMONIES??? THE GENERAL SAJKFDASJKFHDSJK???!?!? Like, it literally sounds like a Disney song but they cuss! It’s amazing!! (And all the citizens?? Comedy gold, every one of them, I swear) (AND THE FUCKINGJDSJKJDSKL SOPRANO PART???!? I’M C R Y I N G I FORGOT WHAT HER NAME WAS BUT SHES SUCH A GOOD SINGER THANK YOU FOR YOUR VOICE)

Favorite lines: 

“May the Rats ejaculate upon you!” “Thank you, thank you very much!”

“Why is everyone in the kingdom white?” “Uhh... Jafar?” 

“But ugliness permits a man to use his wits, ‘cause pretty people never have to try”

“UGLY OLD JAFAR!!”

pretty much  the whole song past the line “Why am I the only one who sees things as they are?”

Specifically “I want to be a cat!” “Wha-” “FUCK YOU!”

But more specially “Whistle while you swallow a spoonful of sugar and your dreams will come true upon a star!!!!” bc OH MY GOD IT’S BEAUTIFUL

Everyone listing how they want Jafar to die

ALSO SPECIALLY THE LAST 30 SECONDS BC AHJSAHJKADS (everything at and past the lines “and if we dream a little harder/ our patience and our honor...” etc.)

OK I STEAL EVERYTHING TIME! ULTIMATE CHAOS SONG, AND I LOVE. BE THE EVIL GREMLIN YOU WANT TO SEE IN THE WORLD. Also: the jazziness?? the opening instrumentals??? it’s so good. To the people playing the instrumentals for this musical: ,,,thank you,,,.,. (Also I learned recently that most of Jeff’s songs are in my range so guess who’s gonna try and learn this song?)

Favorite lines:

“Fetch, ya fucks!”

Did I mention the instrumentals?? bc hfhhhjdklsajk They seem simple but they’re also going ham and I love it

“Monkey thought we should just kill you, but I said ‘No, monkey, that’s crazy’ but now I’m thinking, yeah, no more fucking raisins...’“

“Thanks but no, thanks, ‘The Man’“

Honestly every line in this is golden, but I can’t put them all in and that sucks

“You’re only in trouble if you get caught!” “Aladdin?” “I’m in trouble!”

“Just one question, why, man?” “’Cause you stole my daughter’s hymen!” “That’s completely fair, but, in my defense, dude, your daughter’s hot!”

EVERYTHING AND MOOREE!!! SHE WANTS IT ALL AND I’M CRYING BC SHE SOUNDS BEAUTIFUL WHILE DOING SO. (I just realized that there’s 14 songs on this soundtrack and I’m sorry in advance for how long this post A) already is and B) is going to get) This song is so dramatic and that somehow fits the mood of her character and I love it so much and just ahdshjkds. Also it’s just?? So pretty????

Favorite lines:

“But it’s just like, whatever”

“I just want to be free so badly! You slaves could never understand. :(”

“You’re probably thinking, she’s got everything. Well, it’s true, ‘cause I do, but so the fuck what?”

“I WANT THE MOON! I WANT TO LIVE ON THE MOON! And eat it in a pie! And keep it as a pet! and wear it like a gemstone in my hair!”

“As I laugh in their faces of moonbeam pie!!”

“It’s enough to make me with I were lowly and poor... But like... with money!”

THA GOLDEN FUCJKLCIODIGN RULE. LIKE HOLY SHIT I LOVE THIS SONG SO MUCH. AND THE DANCING THEY DO WITH IT IN THE SHOW ITSELF??? IT’S THE BEST. THE FIUCUING BEST. I’M CRYING. THE DANCING IS SO  GOOD. AND SO IS THIS SONG. Also, it’s the #1 Starkid song I’d be comfortable showing to my mom, which is a definite plus! (I could also show this to my church pastor and he’d?? definitely like it, so that’s also a definite plus) And everyone’s so nice to Jafar, espically compared to the opening number and it just makes me so sad and let me give Jafar a hug, goddammit. ALSO also please let me meet the saxophone player and shake his hand, I don’t play saxophone but what he’s doing here is amazing. WAIT ALSO ALSO ALSO MAY I MEET THAT FLUTE PLAYER BC I’M JUST NOW HEARING THE FLUTE (AND HOW DID I NOT NOTICE IT BEFORE, I PLAY THAT INSTRUMENT???) AND I’M FUCJKIGDFONG HOLY SHIT JSUT FUCKINGJDSJKL ;BOUNCE AROUND ON THOSE NOTES WHY DON’T YOU I’M SAJDSKCDSJS

Favorite lines:

“Why it’s as easy as a 1,2,3,4!”

“Always treat others like sisters and brothers!” 

all of the lines just sound so good, I can’t choose 

The way Dylan Saunders says “Man” that that first time, like holy shit

The whole conversation between Omar and the thief

[completely monotone] “My hunger blinded me and forced me to act like an animal.”

AND THEN OMAR AND THE THIEF SING THE PART AND IT SOUNDS SO GOOD

The “boop boop bop doop zeep do-wow!” in the background during that part

“Good luck Jafar! And! Re! Mem! Ber!”

And then the whole ensemble sings it and it sounds so good

oh good god we’re not even 5 songs in yet i’m so sorry 

GOLDEN RULE: EVIL REPRISE, OR, AS I CALL IT, “GOLDEN RULE WENT EMO BUT I STILL LOVE AND SUPPORT THEM”. Those dissonant sounds at the beginning? beautiful. All the random evil laughter? amazing. Whatever the heck the saxophonist is doing at the end? breathtaking, give me more. Joe Walker’s voice?? just fucking dhdsfjkfdlashjdsfklhfdsjkl

Favorite lines:

“Lets him rule the land WITH an iron fist!”

“The prize for winning? MORE GOLD, HAHA! And the game begins again!”

[sarcastically] “’Follow the golden rule’? Boy don’t be such a fool!”

“Follow the gold! Follow the gold! Follow the gold!” “AND RUUULE!!”

DID I MENTION THAT FUCKING SAXOPHONE PLAYER BC DUDE FUCKING AHSDJKDFS

the final “And Rule!”

Don’t be fooled bc this one is so short, it’s nearing midnight for me and also this song is really short. In reality, I fucking love this song and it’s one of my absolute favorite starkid villain songs and also one of my absolute favorites from this musical.

A THOUSAND AND ONE NIGHTS IS SOME FUCKINGNDSKLJ; GOOD SHIT I’M. Also, I don’t listen to it enough, so I’m giving y’all a running commentary as I listen to it for the first time outside of watching the whole musical 1) I love accidentals and key changes, and i’m,,, crying just the first verse is so good already, why haven’t I listened to this song enough 2) I’M CRYING I WANT TO KNOW THEIR STORY TOO THIS IS WHAT LOVE IS I’M CRYINGHJFDSJKSD 3) they keep using the word “’twist” and i’m ahsdhjkds bro 4) DYLAN YOUR VOICE. YOUR VOICE, IT’S TOO GOOD. IT MUST BE STOPPED, YOU’RE TOO GOOD, DYLAN 5) “LINGER OVER EVERY PART” OH MAN IT SOUDNS SO GOOD. SO GOOD. AHHHHHHDSHJDSFKLHJK 6) OK I’M LIKE ACTUALLY CRYINGN NOW THEY’RE IN LOVE. THIS IS WHAT LOVE IS. OH  GOD OH FUCK 7) AND THEY SOUND SO GOOD, TOO, WHY HAVEN’T I LISTENED TO THIS SONG ENOUGH AHDHJKLDAS

OK I haven’t listened to this song enough to have favorite lines just yet, also I want to at least get to the end of the first act before I go to bed and it’s already midnight rn, so we’re going ahead and moving on (so sorry!)

IF I BE-FUCKIN-LIEVED. OH GOD. THIS ONE. THIS ONE IS SO GOOD. I LOVE IT SO MUCH. THE FLUTE, THE WORDS, THE SINGING LIKE GODDAMN. This one is also kinda within my range so I’m also trying to learn to sing it bc it’s just that good (cons of being a contralto: you get no female songs in musicals, pros of being a contralto: you get all the cool higher tenor songs) The raw emotion in his voice??? I’m crying??? The strength and soul and beauty and just ashjdskl;jdsfkl; it’s so, so beautifully and wonderfully amazing

Favorite lines:

“Science says you’re dead and gone forever! Reason says I’m talking to the air! But something in my heart, some secret, hidden part, illogically insists that you are there! Somewhere!!”

“Perhaps it’s not too late, to change the course of fate?”

“‘Cause after all, I must be pretty great... if you believed in me...”

Again this song is really short and there’s not a lot of lines to choose from and also I love them all and dfhjskdskjl this is just such a good song

I’m still crying

ORPHANED AT 33!!! [insert Peggle 2 gif] CHAOS... T W O!!!! HE’S MR ORPHAN, AKA CHAOS MAN (NOW WITH A MUSICAL NUMBER!) (I’m also trying to learn this one bc let me splurge in trying to teach myself Twisted songs, ok?) He’s being tragic and over-dramatic and it’s a beautiful song! and I also love how in the studio version, he doesn’t mention that they died earlier that year, so it almost comes as a shock when he says “when I was orphaned at... thirty-three” and it just makes the song that much funnier, trust me

Favorite lines:

I know I said this abt most of the other songs up to this point, but can I say all the lines? because all the lines

“[My parents are] dead... that makes me an orphan :’(”

“‘Cause my story’s just too saaad!”

“They call me a jerk off! a burn-out! A punk! But I can’t let that stuff in my head!”

“All things considered, I think I turned out pretty good! I pulled myself up by my bootstraps and started s t e a l i n g  a l l  I  c o u l d!”

”I’ll make it through somehow, despite being so sadly and crushingly all alone...”

“I’ll BREAK THE CHAIN!! YOU’LL SEE!!! I’M GONNA L I V E  F O R E V E R!!!!1!111!”

The last “thirty-three” bc Jeff oh my god what is that voice

HAPPY ENDING TIME, HECK YEAH!!!!! THIS SONG,,,, SO, SO GOOD, I’M A FUCKING SUCKER FOR SONGS WITH MORE THAN ONE PART THAT ALL END TOGETHER IN A HARMONY. THAT IS PEAK MUSICIANSHIP AND JUSTHSDHJFKSAD Also someone pointed this out to me, but the way to goes from Aladdin’s weirdly horny lines straight to the princess going “oh Aladdin, you poor, innocent soul :(” is just the funniest thing to me. And how it calls back to thier own solos, I’m???!? OH AND INSTRUMENTALS AGAIN. THE BAND FUCKING KILLED IT WITH THIS MUSICAL, IT’S SO, SO GOOD JUST AHDSJKLAKKFAnd the energy in it?? The excitement for the next act??? I’m pumped!! Are you pumped?? WELL GET READY BC YOU WILL BE

Favorite lines:

Yet a-fucking-gain I love every goshdarn line in this song, it’s just too good

“They’ll throw a parade in my honor, with peacocks and monkeys galore!”

“The people will cheer!” [cool guitar bit]

[Jafar’s relatively calm part ends] [electric guitar starts back up and Aladdin jumps on stage] “I CaN’T wAiT tO bE A RicH DUdE!!!11!1!″

“Stealing is so much easier when you’ve already got tons of gold!”

“I’ve got my eye! On what money can’t buy! ‘cause that princess is OH! Hella tight! I’ll be the one who plunders her cave of wonders! I’ll get my happy ending tonight!”

“My innocent Aladdin!”

Yes i’m fully aware I put pretty much Aladdin’s full part in there, stop judging me, it’s a good part

“It puts a damper on our love if you don’t have a head” 

“So with with your permission, I’d like to bring back your bride!”

just. Jafar’s whole fantasy where he’s happy with his wife. I’m crying again, please just let him be happy

THE ENDING PART WHERE THEY ALL START UP AND BRING UP THIER OWN HOPES FOR THAT NIGHT AND THEY SING THE FINAL”TONIGHT!!!” ALL TOGETHER AND THEN THERE’S THAT COOL LITTLE 2 SECOND INSTRUMENTAL BIT AT THE VERY END IT’S JUST,.,, SO GOOD I’M DSJHDASHJKSDJK

Ok yeah that’s the end of the first act of songs! I should have the next part up by tomorrow, so get ready for more capslock and keysmashes and me generally being excited abt music bc MUSIC HECK YEAH DFFHADSJKHDAS

[suckitsurveys]

Have you ever been to Las Vegas? Nope. What did you have for breakfast this morning? Cereal. Do you have any loose change in your pocket? Nope. Do you like Taylor Swift? I’m indifferent. I like some of her songs but not so much her.

What’s your favorite Disney Channel movie? Halloweentown.

If you met your favorite celebrity, would you be calm or star struck? Well seeing as I almost died when he liked my tweet the other day... Are there any lights on in the room you’re in? My coworker has his under cabinet light on. What’s your favorite subject in school? Sociology. What’s your favorite holiday? Halloween. Do you ever have to do yard work? Yes. I’m pissed about it this year because my neighbor doesn’t want to help. Is your school close to your house? I’m done with school. Speaking of school, how did you get there today? -- Do you think Bad Romance is a catchy song, or an annoying one? It’s catchy. Do you use perfect grammar online? Eh. Are you currently using a laptop? Nope. Do you have any live versions of songs in your music software? I think so. Did/do you listen to Britney Spears songs? Yes. Is it a windy day? I don’t think so. In the past week, have you ridden in a taxi? Nope. What shorthand do you use the most? Lol. Cuz. Omg. Wtf. Af. Do you ever wish on stars at night? No. What color are your eyes? Green. What album is the current song you’re listening to off of? I’m not listening to music right now. What are you doing after you finish this? Another survey. In your opinion, what song is the most overplayed right now? That fucking Panic at the Disco song. Are you in a band? Nope. How clean is your bedroom? Not super. We need to put the clothes away. Is there a pen within reaching distance of you? Several. Are you sitting at a desk? Yes. Does your favorite band have a male or female lead singer? Female. Do you normally shut your bedroom door before you go to sleep? Nope. We have a dumb plastic accordion door and if we shut it the cats would push through it and make a bunch of noise while doing so. Have you seen the movie Moulin Rouge? Yes. Would you ever dye your hair a different color? Yup. It’s pink right now. Are there any framed pictures in the room you’re in? Yes, two of my niece and one of my coworker’s kids on his desk. Have you ever been to a Broadway show? Yes, a few. What’s your favorite movie soundtrack? Right now it’s Someone Great. Do you prefer group or individual work? Eh. Do you have a key to anything besides your house? My car. My lock I use for the lockers for my swim class. My husbands heart. :P Are you wearing anything with stripes? My underwear. What time did you go to sleep last night? Midnight. Did anyone tell you you were beautiful today? No. What show did you last watch? Tuca and Bertie. Do you think you’ll do any more surveys today? Yep. What’s your favorite ice cream flavor? Butter Pecan. Though cookie dough is up there too. When was the last time you stayed home from school sick? I haven’t been to school in years. Could you ever complete a 500-piece puzzle? Probably. My sister and I did a 300 piece one in Tennessee a month ago. If you could run a red light and not get caught, would you? I’ve done it before oops. Not like, completely went through it after being stopped but had plenty of time to stop and didn’t. Do any bands flat-out annoy you? Panic at the Disco. Do you have a mirror in your bedroom? Yes. Was today a birthday for any of your friends? Is it Michelle’s birthday today or tomorrow? I can’t remember. When was the last time you rode in a limo? My sister’s first wedding I think. Do you take naps daily? Nope. Naps fuck me up for days. Do you still make Christmas lists? Yeah. Do you watch the show Dexter? Nope. Have you ever been to any sort of convention? Yes. Which song did you last listen to on repeat? Truth Hurts by Lizzo. Where do you want to live when you grow up? Idk. Are you currently using a blanket? No. Are there any songs that make you cry? Yes. How many siblings do you have? One. What are you doing this weekend? Helping my sister move on Saturday and then maybe going to the movies with Randal on Sunday Do you prefer swimming at the beach or in a pool? Yes. When was the last time you had a haircut? In March. Which musical instrument do you think sounds the prettiest? Piano. Do you know what you want for Christmas? Nah. Do you watch fireworks on New Year’s Eve? I don’t go to a place to do it but I always see some. Is your birthday within the next three months? Nope, 4. How long is the song you’re listening to? I’m not listening to music at the moment. Are you anticipating anything this week? Not in particular. Is your mom or dad the older parent? My dad is older. Do you watch anything on E!? No. Are you going to get off the computer now that you’ve finished this? Nope. It’s literally my job to be on the computer.

[boogiewrites]

Choking On Sapphires Pt.7

Title & Song: Making A Fool Of You

Characters: Alfie Solomons x OFC

Word Count: 2000+

Summary: Genevieve Durand is a force to be reckoned with. An intelligent, independent and brutal businesswoman. When she moves to London for a new chapter in her life, she finds herself very interested in the friends the father of her godson has found himself in business with. But where does the line go between personal and professional?

A/N: Every chapter of this story will have a song to work as the title and as a soundtrack. Chapter song is Making A Fool Of You by Homeshake. All text in italics is spoken in French.

Part 1: Thieves & Kings.- Pt. 2 Conquest - Pt. 3 Nail In My Coffin - Pt. 4 - 60 Feet Tall Pt. 5 I Bet You Look Good On The Dance Floor Pt. 6 Stop The World Pt. 8 l’amour et la violence

My Masterlist.

Warnings: Language.

Tags! Let me know if you’d like to be added or dropped! Thanks!

@fangirlfreakingout @jaegeeeeer​ @cosettewinchester​ @lookuptheskyisfalling-blog​ @brianaisasongbird @cry5t4l-w4rri0r @iliveonchocolateandnetflix

You sit perched in the middle of your sunlight flooded painting room. Your red silk robe barely tied around your waist, the only thing protecting your naked skin from the colder air of the room.

"Still sitting in the sun like a cat I see?" Agatha, your head maid, who had worked in your family's summer home in France since you were a child enters the room.

"Yes. I find myself to be so disconsolate today, Aggie." you sigh. Your hand pushes the brush into a mixed pile of paint on your palette.

"And what's the cause of this, dear?" she pats your back as she crosses the room.

"I am inclined to say I do not know but I feel that isn't exactly true." you sigh, feeling entirely too clouded, your eyes wide with annoyance at your worry for your possibly prophetic dreams.

"Another vision then?" she says this like she already knows the answer.

"Oui." you nod and groan, looking out the window dramatically, feeling sorry for yourself for a moment. "Was this one you sought out or one that came to you?" she grabs a teacup off the low table in front of your fainting couch.

You let out a heavy sigh. "A man at the ball I feel means to harm Mr. Solomons and I do not know if he takes my advice as seriously as I feel he should."

"Much like a man." Aggie says with a chuckle, you frown, your eyes following her round form around the room as she stacked teacups up on top of the other as they'd accumulated over the past few days.

"Yes." you sigh again. "I suppose I was incorrect to expect more from a man like him. Blame that one on my mother." you pout, plopping your brush into a paint covered teacup with murky water in it. Aggie nods, holding your chin. "That is your mother's voice you hear in your head on that account dear. Listen to her." she releases your chin with a nod. "No matter the religion, they are still only men, aren't they?" she says with a smile and a shrug.

"Are we finally back to complaining about men instead of sitting around like we're back in the war? Worrying, staring out the windows all day waiting for something bad to happen?" she says exasperated, nodding to Agatha as she rolls her eyes at your moping.

"I won't apologize for being concerned over clear visions of death surrounding someone that I care about." you say flatly, straightening your back and narrowing your eyes at her.

"Oh, do we CARE about him now? I shall write that down in the diary." she says with a shake of her head.

"Now Claire, she may be a killer, but she is not a monster." Agatha says in a teasing tone. "She can't help if she was born under a sun and moon full of emotion." she adds factually as she heads out of the room.

"Aggie empathizes." you say your voice and face full of attitude. "And Besides! Apart from my boys, he's the only man to not be disrespectful to me based on my being a woman in this business since I've moved here." you state, your muscles tensing in frustration. "So yes, I do care if he lives or dies." he say loudly, your arms slapping your bare thighs to punctuate your point. "I'd like it if you didn't act like I've got some fucking schoolgirl crush." you cross your arms and pout menacingly.

"No need to raise your voice, Gen." she says scoldingly, patronizing you as she's rolling her eyes.

"If you would stop trying to make my emotions not valid they wouldn't be forced to overcompensate and overflow in these sorts of ways!" you shout your arms falling to your sides. "I also can't help how the full moon is fucking with my emotions and giving me these damned dreams that make me feel like a mad woman." you rush out, groaning in annoyance. "I find myself consumed by frustration at this entire situation." you say quietly, the anger starting to be replaced by melancholy.

"You're consumed by frustration because you've stopped all your vices for it since moving here." Claire state obviously in her frustration at you self-pity, turning to leave the room, giving you an observation she knew you needed to be reminded of. "In the past if you acted like this I'd tell you to go get fucked, but mean it literally." This is the longest she'd seen you go without sex in the over a decade of years she'd known you. You hadn't done much drinking or partying since you'd moved. You stuck to wine in liquors usual place. Business meetings got you out of the house instead of all-nighters in clubs in the city. She knew you were trying to calm your life down a bit from your wilder days in Berlin and Paris but she also knew those parts of you ran so deep that you pretending like they didn't exist was just going to backfire and she didn't want to be around when you burned the estate to the ground in a fit of frustration.

"Oh, fuck off." you groan loudly after her, you hear her laughing as she heads down the hallway, knowing she's right. You slouch and your anger fades quickly as look over to the nude male statue in the corner of the room, opposite the female one, the corner of your mouth pulled back as your eyes look it up and down. "UGH!" you groan loudly as you take a paint-splattered sheet off a chair and throw it over the statue. ---------------- It'd been a week since the ball and you hadn't heard anything. You'd sent Joseph to town for your favorite little pastries so he could give you any news he heard. You heard nothing for days. You assumed this was both a good and bad thing. No news was not bad news, after all. But it was the good news you were after.

"Genevieve." Claire says already annoyed with your low mood today. "No man is worth this worry. Should I just call him to end this suffering you're putting us all through along with you?" she walks next to you, perched in a random room in the guest wing, sitting on a tufted velvet cushion on a bench that sat beneath a large window, looking out onto the forest and hills. You turn your head to her, you move your eyes up slowly and she exhales noisily at your tired face. "Hmmm?" you ask quietly, your face fallen completely.

"Have you even slept?" Claire asked, moving her hands to your shoulders.

"No. I tried and the dreams became more and more disturbing." your voice is soft and flat. "I don't want to deal with them anymore." you mumble. You do as Claire physically directs, moving you out of the room towards your own.

"You are going to go take one of your little night vials and you're going to sleep this off." she says slowly, hoisting you around to move quicker.

"No, Claire." you whine, your feet dragging, your brow furrowed.

"Then what do you want to do, huh? Do you want to never sleep again? Is that your plan?" she says exasperatedly. It'd been a week of this moody blues funk you'd fell into out of nowhere. "Because it's a shit plan," she says obviously, grabbing your arm and you move reluctantly but willingly. You groan as she shoves you into your room. "You're good to no one without your rest." she says, her voice less harsh.

"Don't treat me like a child. You don't know what they're like, Claire, I don't want to be stuck in those dreams." you say loudly, your hands falling to your sides heavily, your shoulders slumping.

"Then stop your crying and fix this problem or I will have Aggie hold you down and give you something to make you sleep." you says, fixing her shirt hastily.

You glare at her and plop onto the bed. "I'm not crying. Which is honestly surprising at what hour of consciousness I am on at this point." you let out a yawn as you sink into the bed.

She scolds, pulling the curtains of the canopy down and around your bed. "Like a little bird." Claire tsks, "Put the sheet over your gilded cage and you'll shut up." she says in a more playful and less hateful way as you frown as the last light from the daylit room disappears. You cuddle into your breast and chirp in the comfort or the bed and fall asleep.

----------------- You awake and it's dark. Your eyes snap open. You had exhausted yourself and your sleep had shown you dreams of him but with nothing bad attached. Just him, floating about in dark water alone. You groan and stretch, rolling about the bed. You peak your head out of the curtains before pulling one to the side and tieing it back.

The full moon's light comes in from your window, the curtains not being touched since you fell asleep. You stand in the middle of the towering window, letting the moonlight seep into your pores, you let out a long sigh and move to an armoire in your room. You open it to find your oils. You change your silk robe for one more substantial. You pile things into your pockets, your robe untied, your maribou tipped, soft-soled shoes carry you, almost mindlessly through the rows of raspberries, your labyrinth to get to your sanctuary in the middle.

"I saw her going into the garden, practically naked with a bottle of rum in her hand, ma'am." the newest maid softly says, reporting to Claire that you'd woken up.

"I expected as much." Claire says, chewing on her thumbnail, her feet kicked up on the dining room table as she reads by the fire.

"This isn't concerning at all?" the young maid says, uncertainty in her voice and Claire lets out a loud laugh and pats the girl's arm to comfort her.

"None of us have anything to fear from Genevieve, dear. She may have habits you've been raised to be frightened by but her heart is always in the right place." she grins, it'd been awhile since you'd hired any new house workers and she'd forgotten how eccentric you appear to others who didn't know you as well. "Speak to her at the next kitchen meeting, you'll find her very warm to you, I'm certain."

"She has been, very much so. I'm afraid I'll be full of stupid questions until I can accustom myself with the home and those who live in it. But may I inquire as to what she's doing out there in the rows?" she says meekly, not wanting to step out of her bounds.

"Going out to her secret garden to do some of her grandmother's old world medicine to get rid of those dreams she finds herself imprisoned by, I imagine." she says casually, her eye returning back to her book.

"And this is good?" the girl responds with wide eager eyes.

"Yes, dear, it means she's finally stopped letting it happen to her and is now getting back her control of the situation." she nods, chewing her bottom lip, relieved you were finally snapping out of it and getting back to being the reasonable, logical, power source she preferred you as. You were out in the outskirts of your rows of berries, among the iris's in your spherical space of hanging flowers and willows, your stone bench and small viewing pool the only other pieces taking up the space besides you. You drink a good few big swigs of his rum, connecting yourself to him.

"You better be worth all this fucking trouble, Solomons." you grumble quietly, sighing with a furrowed brow at how you'd gotten yourself into this mess, now to try to get yourself, and him, out of it. You light your candle and begin what Claire had assumed, but you try to focus specifically on protecting Alfie as you begin to rub the oils into your skin and try to center your mind.

Pt. 8 L’amour et la violence

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #405

“today i went to therapy, told him the embarrassing issues that i’m having with my life  /  he told me that i need to change; life is not a video game, so stop playing & open up your eyes”

What was your favourite sweet as a child? Things like Baby Bottle Pops, Ring Pops, Airheads, etc. Do you like to wear socks to bed? NOOOOOOO. I don't wear socks unless I have to. What’s your favourite berry? Strawberries. If you have a job, how long is your shift? I don't. Do you like sunflowers? Well yeah. Are you counting down for anything? No. Are you watching TV? What’s on? No. Do you have make-up on? No. I haven't worn makeup since last October. Are you any good with kids? People have told me I am, but I beg to differ. What if you had a baby with the last person you kissed? We're both cisgender women, we physically couldn't. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years time? It'd be nice honestly, but I kinda doubt I will be. What is your favorite card game? Magic: The Gathering. What is the weirdest thing you’ve done in public? Ha, probably the times I've gotten down on the ground beside the road to photograph roadkill... More than once has someone stopped and asked if I was okay, haha. Favorite sleeping position? Twisted half on my side and stomach with my legs just sorta splayed out. What is your dad’s name? Ken. Have you ever been on a diet? Multiple times. Do you own any jersey shirts? No. Are you proud to be of the nationality you are? There are two moods I have on this: I'm either neutral or embarrassed. Can you remember what you last clapped for? Omg the woman who facilitates my TMS treatment was telling Mom and me about this one time a tiny snake got in the lobby and I did a lil squeal and clapped a bit because I was just excited to hear about a little snake, haha. What is the geekiest part of your music collection? *shrug* Maybe game soundtrack music. What do you eat when you raid the fridge late at night? Well, not really the fridge, but w/e. I'll usually get a granola bar or something of the sort. What is the little physical habit that gives away you're insecure moment? Kneading/wringing my hands together is a dead giveaway. Do you have too many love interests? No. How much money would it take to get you to give up the Internet for one year? If you want honesty... probably no amount would lmao. I rely way too heavily on the Internet for so many things. Do you talk a lot? It depends on my mood and who I'm around. Do transient, homeless, or starving people sometimes annoy you? What a fucking awful question. They don't annoy me. It can be awkward driving past them, but they're in no way annoying. Do you consider yourself to be a nice person? I definitely try to be. What is your ideal marriage location? Either a gothic-looking mansion or something of the sort or a wooded area in the fall. Do you tell your friends about your sex life? I don't have one to talk about. Would you ever admit to having done plastic surgery of any kind if confronted? Yeah? No shame. What kind of watch(es) do you wear? I don't wear watches. What do you cook the best? My family likes my scrambled cheesy eggs... basic as that is, haha. When my sisters would go to Taco Bell all the time and save the hot sauces for later use, I would use some packets in the eggs I cooked. Honestly amazing. What's one car you will never buy? "Anything that is two door, or low to the ground." <<<< This right here. On the other end of the spectrum, I also won't ever buy a car that's high up. I need a good medium so I can actually get in with ease. What's one thing you're a sore loser at? Hm, I dunno. What kind of first impression do you think you give to people? "Wow, she's awkward." What's one thing you like to do alone? Draw. When's the last time you cried? Not long ago at all because I was just so exasperated over my weight gain. Do you think you're cute? God no. Do you have problems changing clothes in front of friends? I don't change in front of anyone if I can avoid it. Did you like kissing the last person you kissed or the one before that more? The last person. I gotta say I was not a fan of kissing Girt because for whatever reason his lips were ALWAYS wetter than lips naturally should be and I just didn't dig it, man. That and every kiss with him was awkward. Whose bed other than yours did you last lay on? My mom's. What turns you off immediately? Acting sexist, to name one. Which city do you particularly enjoy visiting and for what reasons? I don't like going into cities. Do you often take pictures with the camera on your phone? No. I don't like the camera on my phone. In the past year, have you lost weight or gained weight? How much? Gained. You don't need to know. What year was the last car you rode in/drove? I have zero clue. What’s your worst/funniest experience with one of your neighbors? "Worst" and "funniest" are very different... but I can tell you the worst easily. At my childhood home, our next-door neighbors had a pair of Rottweilers in their back yard within a chain-link fence, and we had a LOT of outdoor cats at the time. (I will emphasize every time I bring it up to NOT keep cats outside.) Somehow the dogs got loose and went on a rampage trying to kill our cats; one young one was killed, while our fearless mother cat, Chance, literally fought them off to defend her new kittens. More were maybe killed, I honestly can't remember. My mom was hysterical and threatened to call animal control if it ever happened again. I was absolutely, utterly heartbroken. The last time you burned your tongue or mouth, what were you eating? Ummm I want to say it was some sort of pasta that I didn't let cool long enough. Honestly, are you shallow? Far from it, honestly. Can/could your parents tell when you were lying? Not always. Besides clothes, shoes, and accessories, what’s your favorite thing to shop for? I love window-shopping at Morph Market, haha. AAAAAAAAAALL those ball python morphs, man... *drools* Does/did your parents ever go through your computer or cell phone? When I was younger, Mom was very intent on figuring out why I was always so secretive about what I did on the computer (mostly RP-related things) that ohhhh yeah, she'd do some digging. The night she finally snapped, demanding I tell her my passwords to everything, and she ultimately found out about me being a forum RPer, was literally almost traumatic to me, I think. I know, that sounds INCREDIBLY overdramatic, but I'm not fucking joking. I was in my room SOBBING on my best friend's shoulder, who was spending the night. I was just so embarrassed, and I *still* am when I share that fact with people I know, even though I have no reason to be. Like I don't do any weird or kinky RP shit, it's just genuine, artistic writing with actual, well thought-out plots, but I still feel like people would think it dumb, childish, and just weird. What song reminds you the most of a particular day in your life? Why is that? "Stairway to Heaven" by Led Zeppelin. I've talked about it a few times before and really don't feel like doing it again. Do you have any close friends that were adopted? I don't think so. Who, in your opinion, is the best thriller writer? I don't know. Does your mom eat meat? Yeah. Was your dad ever on a sports team? Lots in high school, I believe. Do you prefer thick or thin crusted pizza? Thick, by a long shot. What do you have in your fruit salads? Not a fan of fruit salads. Have you ever spent more than two weeks in a wheelchair? I've only needed a wheelchair once in my life, and that was just to get inside and maneuver around the doctor's office when I tore a ligament in my foot. So no. What are your favorite word? Serendipity, tranquility, lucid, etc.; pretty, peaceful words like those. Is there a lot of drama in your life? Nope. I don't do enough or have enough people in my life for there to be. What are you listening to? An extended version of "Nightsong" from WoW. Do you hear any animals right now? No. I'm sure I'd hear birds if I didn't have my earplugs in, though. Have you ever played fetch with a dog? Yes. Have you ever pet a stingray? No. Who is the last baby you held? Emerson, my youngest niece. Do you have any scars from an animal? Yeah; I've got looooots from my cat playing too rough. Have you ever seen an Igloo? I don't believe so. Do you like Korn? They're high on my list of faves. Are you more afraid of tornadoes or hurricanes? Absolutely tornadoes. Do you like mushrooms? Ugh, NO. Have you ever been on Omegle? No. So do you have a favorite M&M? Just the regular ones. Have you ever snuck out? No. Do you currently feel like you have pretty stable career goals/a pretty stable life plan? Have you ever felt this way? I don't know, man. I know what I WANT to do, I just don't know if I'm ever going to get there. Or if what I want will be financially supportive enough, now that I'm really losing interest in photographing people. I might just have to if I want to be financially stable with photography, which would be okay, but bleh. I'd much rather just work with nature. If you could buy an android that was was convincingly human and could be tailored to be your perfect partner, would you want one? No. I don't want to build my own partner, nor do I want my romantic partner to be an android. I want life to just introduce me to a person who is uniquely themselves, who have built themselves from their own life experiences, and not just have a perfect spouse tailored to everything I like. If you do not identify as being “straight,” can you remember back to your childhood some things you did that were, in hindsight, possible indicators of your future sexuality? Yes, especially in middle school. I thought women were prettier than probably a straight kid would, and looking back, I definitely found the natural curves of the female figure to be attractive. When you consume media (movies, books, etc.) with a romantic element, what sort of romance scenarios interest you most? Hm. I know I prefer serious ones over silly; like I'm a sucker for Nicholas Sparks' style, if that says anything. If you are female, do you feel connected to other women as a class? What sort of things make you feel a strong sense of sisterhood or female empowerment? This is too big of a question for me to feel like delving into right now, haha. But I can say it more so depends on the individual than the gender when it comes to feeling connection over anything.

[stranger-who-writes-fiction]

no i never get used to silence

Fandom: Supergirl Rating: T (To be safe. There’s like. One ‘bad word.’) Summary: Kara does not do well with change. A/N: raise your hand if you’re a little disheartened at the lack of genfic coming out of a certain sister focused fandom week  

…

Kara loves the first day of school.

Has always loved the first day of school—or, whatever the Kryptonian equivalent would be. (Kara supposes the closest thing would have been the season following the Trials, when students were advanced to the next tier of lessons, and Guild Assessments were updated.)

It’s a little different on Earth (…okay maybe a lot different) but Kara loves it all the same.

Alex?

Not so much.

Not at first, anyway. Not at six thirty in the morning.

Kara knows this because she…maaaaybe gets a little excited, and maaaaaybe sets the alarm a little bit earlier than strictly necessary, and maaaaaybe has a hard time keeping quiet as she gets ready, and maaaaaaybe wakes Alex up accidentally-on-purpose.

And Alex grumbles into her pillow and blindly shoves Kara’s grinning face out of her personal space and tells her that it is way too early for this and human teenagers do not get this excited over high school, Kara. But Kara can hear the amusement, buried beneath the mild annoyance.

Today, though.

Today, her alarm goes off early, and she doesn’t want to get up.

Beep, beep, beep. She lets the alarm chirp for several long minutes, hunching further into her blankets.

Beep, beep, beep.

She reluctantly rolls over, reaching out to silence the clock. Her fingers brush the snooze button, and her gaze drifts towards the empty bed across the room.

The sight makes her throat burn. She quickly turns back to face the wall, twisting the fabric of her comforter in her fists.

She’s fine, she’s just…

Not great with change.

Eliza’s already up, making breakfast in the kitchen by the time Kara’s showered and dressed for school. She takes a seat at the table, working on a slouch that would make Alex very proud.

“Morning, sweetie,” Eliza says with a smile, walking over to drop a kiss on Kara’s temple. Kara hums a greeting, and wonders if she’s too depressed to make pancakes.

After some deliberation, the answer is, no, no she is not.

She gets up and starts poking through the cupboards, looking for the necessary ingredients. Eliza watches her, and then turns her attention to the digital clock on the microwave.

“Better put on a little super speed,” she teases Kara. “Someone’s running a bit late today.”

Kara forces a smile, but keeps her pace at a decidedly ‘normal human being’ level.

This does not go unnoticed by Eliza, who, after a few seconds, crosses the distance between them and wraps Kara in a tight, one-armed hug, rubbing her shoulder, soothing and slow.

“Kind of quiet around here, with just the two of us, huh?” she says, because if she says anything else, Kara will deny, deny, deny, and put on that unaffected smile, and pretend like everything’s fine.

Kara shrugs. “Kind of,” she says in a small voice.

“It’ll take some getting used to.”

“…Yeah.”

“So it’s okay, to be a little sad.”

Kara’s onto her by now, so she rolls her eyes, and insists that she’s fine, really. Eliza doesn’t press the matter. Instead, she opens the fridge, and pulls out a brown paper bag with Kara’s name scribbled on the side in black Sharpie.

“So you won’t be needing this lunch I made special for you? Because I made it specifically for ‘cheering up’ purposes, but if you’re fine—”

Kara tilts her glasses down and checks the contents of the bag, and then beams as she wraps Eliza in a (two-armed but tempered) hug.

“Thank you,” she says it a few times, interspersed with admissions of okay I do kind of miss Alex so I will definitely be needing those potstickers, yes, and Eliza just nods sagely.

“Mmm, thought so.”

Kara’s outlook brightens considerably as she gets back to measuring the Bisquick, her earlier sadness fading. She smiles to herself.

Maybe…she’s not so bad at change after all.

No, she’s definitely bad at change.

She realizes this right around fourth period. The entire morning has been spent going through the (admittedly tedious) motions of the first day—introductions, expectations, more introductions.

Which, normally, Kara doesn’t mind. Except that each class has gone more or less the same:

“Kara Danvers?” a teacher will say.

“Here,” Kara will answer.

“Danvers…do you have a sister?”

“Yeah, Alex.”

“I had Alex in (insert grade level and class here)! She graduated last year, right? How’s she doing?”

And of course, Kara would very proudly tell them that out of all of the Big Deal colleges that wanted her sister, Alex picked The Biggest Deal and is doing great, thanks.

And that was fine—Kara had no problem, telling her teachers how awesome her sister was.

But it did get her thinking about Alex, and how she was hundreds of miles away, as opposed to three classrooms over, and how she wouldn’t be waiting for Kara at lunch time, wouldn’t be at home after school…

Her throat burns again.

Her new math teacher has them playing 'two truths and a lie.’ Kara’s not paying attention—she’s staring out through the murky glass of the classroom windows, idly entertaining the thought of testing the limits of her super hearing, her telescopic vision.

If she listened hard enough, could she pick up Alex’s heartbeat, all those long miles away?

It’s dumb; she probably can’t.

(This does not stop her from trying.)

Not exactly her best idea—it’s a lot of stimuli to take in and filter past. It requires all of her concentration, her focus, her control.

She’s pretty sure she gets as far as the neighboring middle school, when suddenly—

“—ARA.”

Mr. Pang doesn’t shout it, but he might as well have, because it’s loud and close in Kara’s ear. She startles, jerking back in her chair, crushing the laminate particle board of her desk in the process.

Her teacher blinks in surprise, stepping back, staring at the destruction as Kara’s classmates laugh and guffaw in disbelief.

Kara stares back, terrified, because Rao, Alex hasn’t even been gone two weeks, and I’ve already blown my cover, and people are gonna find out I’m an alien, and, and—!

“…That’s…” her teacher starts to say, and then closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, muttering about how it’s going to be a long year, dear God. “Great, just great, we’re short desks as it is.”

She isn’t detained and/or shuffled off to some Black Ops site for experimentation and dissection. Instead, she’s told that her parents might have to pay to replace the desk, but that probably won’t be the case. “These desks are literally falling apart,” Mr. Pang says, as he directs her to the spare, rolling desk chair at the TA desk up front. “But hey, don’t worry about it folks, we got nice new turf for the football field, isn’t that great?”

The rest of the class laughs at the sarcastic comment, and attention is shifted away from Kara, and back to…whatever it is they were covering while Kara spaced out. Kara does her best to stay on task after that, not wanting a repeat slip up. One ruined desk is a fluke. Two…is cause for questioning.

The day goes on, but that annoying burn lingers in the back of her throat. Because she’s embarrassed and missing Alex and just really wants to go home.

Three o'clock can’t come fast enough.

Kara walks home, after school. Eliza told her she could drive the Jetta, if she wanted, but Kara’s not a big fan of driving.

Besides, the late August sun feels nice, and there’s a bit of a breeze, coming off the ocean. It makes her feel a little less…awful. She briefly considers testing her super hearing again, but instead decides to train her ears on the dull roar of the waves, losing herself in the crash and hiss of the spray.

She kicks at some loose gravel, and accidentally sends a larger rock whizzing down the street and out of sight. Distantly, a cat yowls, and something large and metallic falls over. She sighs in frustration.

She misses Alex.

She misses Alex, and she’s bad at change, and she imagines coming home to a big, quiet house with just her and Eliza every day (and maybe not even Eliza, depending on how late she’s working) and the thought of being alone is enough to exacerbate that troublesome burn in the back of her throat; now, it’s a full-blown ache.

Eliza’s still at work by the time she gets home. She drops her backpack by the front door (which is Very Much Frowned Upon) and she kicks her shoes off, not caring where they land. She drags herself upstairs and falls into bed, face down, where she plans on staying for the rest of the school year.

She doesn’t know how many hours pass before she hears the car pull into the driveway, Eliza’s Notting Hill soundtrack skipping on track seven, like it always does. Eliza huffs a little as she gets out of the car (a relatively new development; Alex insisted it was arthritis, which led to an entirely too-long debate about the nuances of joint swelling.)

Kara manages a weak smile; Alex’s and Eliza’s numerous arguments over medical science always reminded her of when her dad and Uncle Jor would get into it at family dinners, bickering over anything and everything, from inefficient rocket propulsion to the outcome of the most recent Garata match.

Shockingly, this trip down memory lane does not make her feel any better. She curls onto her side and hugs her extra pillow close, so wrapped up in feeling miserable that she doesn’t notice Eliza’s presence until the mattress dips beside her, and Eliza’s hand is on her shoulder, once again rubbing soothing, slow circles.

“You should give Alex a call,” she suggests gently.

“Already tried,” Kara grumbles miserably, flopping an arm backwards, pointing towards her cell phone on the nightstand. “Voicemail.”

Eliza laughs lightly. “Maybe…try again a little later. You know how she is…she’s probably still busy settling in, adjusting to her classes, a new routine…”

“The new routine’s dumb,” Kara tells her, sniffling. She rubs at her eyes with the back of her hand, knocking her glasses to one side.

Eliza’s voice is soft and sympathetic. “It’ll get better, sweetie.” Kara grunts. “Well, alright, it’ll get easier. I promise.”

Eliza rubs her shoulder for a little bit, and eventually, Kara tells her about the desk incident at school. Eliza doesn’t get mad—she never gets mad…not at Kara, at least—but she does let out an exasperated sigh.

“No one suspected anything,” Kara makes sure to emphasize. Eliza nods.

“Having seen my fair share of classrooms…stranger things have happened.”

Kara’s curiosity is piqued. “Really?” she asks, wondering what on Earth could be weirder than her.

Thus, the evening is spent listening to Eliza recount various insane tales of her time in lecture halls and labs. Normally, she saves these sorts of stories for Alex—which Kara doesn’t mind. It’s…kind of their thing, and Kara tries not to intrude.

But she likes hearing about the annoying TAs and the centrifuge from Hell and the early, earnest efforts of Eliza and Jeremiah’s research that, more often than not, involved a lot of jury-rigging and therefore, a lot of duct tape. Clark sometimes makes an appearance, and Eliza makes sure to include all of the embarrassing details.

Kara’s feeling a lot better, when she tries calling Alex a second time, later that night.

She gets the voicemail again.

Kara’s good mood is gone. Seconds later, though, she gets a text. Sorry! Saw that you called just busy w/ class stuff. I’ll call you tomorrow! Try not to set anything on fire in the meantime lol

The prospect of having to wait almost a whole day to talk to Alex doesn’t exactly fill her with much enthusiasm, but it’s still better than nothing. She texts back a smiley face, along with a haha no fire yet did destroy school property tho in the hopes of prolonging the conversation, but Alex just sends back a XD, probably assuming that Kara’s joking, and that’s that.

So…she doesn’t feel as awful, but she doesn’t necessarily feel great, either.

She finds herself wandering downstairs late at night, long after Eliza’s gone to bed, unable to sleep in a room that feels a little more 'half empty’ than 'half full.’

Eliza finds her the next morning, sprawled out gracelessly on the couch, the Hello, Dolly! DVD menu music looping endlessly.

“Alright, up, up,” Eliza says, nudging her awake. Kara lets out an uncharacteristic growl. “None of that. We have places to be, come on.”

Kara pushes herself up, and blinks at the wall clock.

“…I’m late for school,” she says, a little bit shocked.

“You’re sick, so you’re not going,” Eliza tells her.

Kara opens her mouth to state the obvious: I don’t get sick, but Eliza holds up a hand. “All part of maintaining appearances. Also, I need help with something. Two birds, one stone.”

“What do you need help with?” Kara asks, still (pleasantly?) surprised that she gets to skip school. She’s…never done that before. (Sure, she and Alex talked about skipping school, but. Those plans never got much farther than the 'hypothetical’ stage.)

“Carrying some boxes,” Eliza says offhandedly, heading for the kitchen. “But mostly, keeping me company. I have a long drive, and all of my CDs skip. Conversation would be a vast improvement.”

Kara sits up straighter. “How…how long of a drive?”

“Mmm, six hours, give or take? Depending on traffic.” Slowly, Kara feels a smile tug at the corners of her mouth.  “So the sooner we get ourselves going, the bet—” Kara’s dressed and ready before she can finish the sentence, “—ter.”

“How many boxes? Should we pack anything else? Alex is gonna hate us.” Kara can barely stand still, she’s so excited.

“Mmm,” Eliza inclines her head towards the care package that she was going to mail, but. An in-person delivery might be better. “Not if we bring pie.”

Alex is horrified for maybe, like, five seconds.

“Oh my God, Mom, seriously? It’s barely been a week,” she says, groaning. But Kara barrels into her, hugging her tight, apologizing profusely. “Wait, why are you sorry? Did you break my CD player again?”

“I just…missed you a lot? It wasn’t Eliza’s idea. Well, I mean, it was her idea, but only because I was being a wimp…”

She also makes sure to mention the pie which, just as Eliza predicted, smooths everything over considerably.

“Not chocolate pecan,” Alex feigns surprise. Kara looks moderately offended.

“Of course not,” she says. “It’s for you, it should be your favorite.”

“Mmm. Mom made you a separate pie, didn’t she.”

“…Maybe.”

Alex rummages through the rest of the contents of the care package, recoiling slightly as she stumbles across Kara’s homemade card.

“Ugh. So much glitter,” she says, handling it gingerly. “This stuff never goes away.”

“That…is true.” Kara glances at her fingertips, some of which still bear the sparkly mark of glitter glue.

But Alex tacks it up on her bulletin board regardless, and thanks Kara for the thoughtful gifts. And for not eating any of the pie on the drive up.

(“It was a struggle,” Kara admits, and Eliza nods. “It was.”)

Once that’s done, the trio makes something of a show of hauling the remaining boxes upstairs—Alex had apparently forgotten a few remaining items for her dorm room, so the impromptu reunion can be passed off as something a little less damaging to Alex’s reputation.

They spend the rest of the afternoon simply catching up. At one point, Eliza excuses herself, mentioning a colleague she’d like to say hi to before they go.

So Alex decides to show Kara around—later, when she’s inevitably teased about her family showing up not even two weeks into classes, she can tell them that Kara’s interested in attending, possibly. The campus tour will help sell the story.

Really, though, she’s happy to see them—classes have been crazy enough to keep her from feeling too homesick, but once in a while, she’ll catch herself planning to tell Kara or her mom something at dinner, only to remember that’s…not exactly how it works, now.

And that realization is always a little…it’s a bit of a downer, sure. But, she reminds herself, looking over at her sister—she’s the older one. She has to be…something. Brave, strong? Set a good example, maybe? For Kara.

“I’m glad you came up to visit,” she says, throwing an arm around Kara’s shoulders. “But. Are you gonna come up here every time you get lonely? Because I do have classes to attend, you know.”

“You should try skipping,” Kara says with a smirk. “It’s pretty fun.”

“I’m gone one week and you’re playing hookie, destroying school property…what next? Grand theft auto?”

Kara wrinkles her nose.

“What would I do with a car?”

“Uh, drive it?”

“Mmm, pass.”

“Weirdo.” Alex laughs. “I know several people who would kill for a car. Public transit here sucks.”

“Good thing you don’t have to go far, I guess?” Kara says. Alex shrugs.

“I’d like to explore a bit,” she tells her. “But. I guess I’m with you. Not really in love with the idea of making car payments.” She shoves her hands in her pockets. “…Maybe a motorcycle.”

Kara stares.

“Eliza would kill you.”

“I’m joking,” Alex says. Kara doesn’t believe her, and her suspicion must show on her face, because Alex continues. “Really, I am. Mostly, anyway. …Whatever. It’s not gonna happen anyway, I’ve now joined the ranks of poor, pitiful, destitute college students.”

“I’ve read they mostly survive on Ramen,” Kara says with a completely straight face. Alex snorts.

“Yeah, Ramen and Red Bull. That’s what you should’ve put in the care package.”

Kara shakes her head.

“Pie is way better,” she declares passionately.

Alex laughs. “No argument there.”

They stay through dinner, but not for much longer after that. It’s not ideal, having to drive back the same day, but unfortunately necessary, as Eliza has to be back in Midvale for a meeting tomorrow morning.

“Thanks for bringing the lamp and stuff,” Alex gestures back towards the dorms. “Saved me a trip back home.”

“You should still come. Back home. Sometime,” Kara blurts. “Eventually, I mean.”

“Well, duh.”

“Like, before Thanksgiving Break,” Kara amends, stepping forward and hugging Alex goodbye. She drops her head onto her sister’s shoulder—they’re about the same height now, so it’s not so much a drop as a lean, but either way it works.

“I will,” Alex promises. “But…I do…have to be here. And go to classes. And be on my own a bit,” she reminds her sister gently. “That’s…kinda why I picked this school. I wanted a change, you know?”

Kara thinks change is highly overrated. And, though she knows going away to college is A Thing Young People Do, the idea of being sent off, far from home, far from the people you love, with the weighty burden of adult responsibility?

She’s already done that once. Wasn’t great.

But she’s not Alex, and Alex isn’t her; she knows that her sister was indeed ready for a change by the time her Senior year rolled around. Ready for someplace besides Midvale. And she knows that Alex is going to do amazing things here.

So she’s going to be…brave? Strong? Not be such a wimp, maybe? For Alex.

“Yeah,” she says, nodding. “Yeah. I get it.”

“You’ll be fine, alright?” Alex grins. “Just. Don’t be late for Mr. Nelson’s class. And Ms. Harris isn’t tolerable until she’s had coffee so like, keep a low profile until you’re certain she has caffeine on board.”

“Okay,” Kara says, making a mental list. She’s feeling better, about the days ahead. Alex says she can do this.

And so, she can.

“I’ll be better about calling, though,” Alex adds, hugging her back. “And, seriously. Quit breaking shit.”

“Alex,” Eliza says, and Kara hides her giggles.

“'Kay,” she says. “I’ll quit breaking…stuff.”

“Thank goodness one of my children is polite,” Eliza gives Alex a pointed look as she hugs her. Kara steps back, and does her best not to listen in as Eliza murmurs something to Alex. (Though, she hears something that sounds a lot like 'proud’ and, judging by the way Alex’s  mouth involuntarily pulls into a bashful grin, Kara’s certain that whatever it was? Was good.)

“Stay out of trouble,” Eliza calls from the car as they pull out. “No visible tattoos or tongue piercings, alright?”

Alex waves. “How about a motorcycle?”

“Alex Danvers, no,” Eliza says firmly. “Love you, sweetie.”

“Love you too, Mom, Kara. Bye!”

“Bye!”

They wave and holler until the campus parking lot fades from view.

They’re not even on the freeway yet, when Kara’s phone goes off. She looks down. A text from Alex that simply reads,

Love you, sis.

P.S. Alex YES.

NOTES:

- I have kept Alex’s college deliberately vague, because I’ve honestly forgotten what the show has established re: her education, but. One can probably guess whereabouts I put her, based on the travel time. - Upon further reflection, I’m 96% certain the care package bit is the result of a/inspired by a discussion w/ @thatsjustsupergirl so. Credit where credit is due. - Clint Barton is great at boats; Kara Danvers is not great at cars.

[toddlazarski]

Katie Parla and the Art of Eating the World

Shepherd Express

Sitting in the O’Hare International Terminal one rain damp spring midnight four years ago—lightning splintering the far off horizon, dotting the tarmac with warning-light flashes of foreboding—fidgeting, running through end-of-life litany, fourth quarter armpit sweat streaking, I found myself ready for a honeymoon. Or not ready, exactly. The ticket in my hand said “Istanbul.” But I couldn’t quite figure how I’d arrived here, couldn’t quite resign myself. To the point where I was the guy getting scoffs, the guy standing, stretching, unable to sit, up to the ticket counter, to the window, doing grandpa-level calisthenics in an annoying display of physical ADD. I wanted to explain to everyone else: This was my first time overseas. And going from zero-to-Turkey seemed like taking driver’s ed in a Ferrari. Like foregoing high school ball for the NBA. I didn't even know what sumac was. Later, the bird cutting through the night and storm, passengers dozed around me, highlighting my lack of cool. I walked the aisles, avoiding blood clots, I sat sweaty palmed, continued to impulsively smash next on my Spotify playlist. Insatiably punchy, I ordered gratis cocktails until annoyed stewardesses disappeared behind the dark curtain in the middle of the Atlantic night. Now at 30-some thousand feet I fully realized my dearth of foresight—I lacked even the wherewithal to ask my doctor for some Xanax.

My worried mind did have one piece of security though. Even as From Russia With Love played on my iPad, previewing my destination as a mosque-peppered landscape of calls-to-prayer that seemed exotic even by James Bond standards, I knew, buried within the folds of my carry-on, with a backup in my back pocket, with further reserve copies saved in the Cloud, and plenty emailed to parents, siblings, cat-sitters, etc, was a manicured, bullet-pointed itinerary of eating places from Istanbul to Rome to Naples to Positano and back again. Nearly every restaurant was planned, with alternatives, coffee stops, cocktail destinations, snacks—so many snacks—by the travel guides of writer Katie Parla. My wife dozed. She trusted me. She knew I had it covered, that I was good at this kind of thing. The kind of thing being not actually the kind of thing that anyone can be good at. The kind of thing built on reading, research, or, in other words, just the exhaustive following along of people who actually are good at this kind of thing.   

Parla first had me at DiFara—the Brooklyn pizza institution universally lauded, adored, dominating of all Best Of lists. He cuts the basil. With scissors. Nobody can get past that. She disregarded the entire enterprise in not so subtle shades of: “sucks.” At once it made me think on my experience there—that sense of pizza pilgrimage, the long train ride, the unhip heart of old Brooklyn; but the regular gas oven, the long wait, the grease, the trying to convince myself. Dammit, I thought, she’s right. DiFara isn’t that good. Aside from a few outlier local contrarians, nobody I’d come across had taken this tone before. Denigrating pizzaiolo Dom DeMarco was on par with belittling Santa Claus. And she did it based primarily on the use of low grade olive oil. It was so pretentious, so right. She called it a “Q express train ride to stomach cramps.” The piece, in Food Republic, gave a full gut sense of everything I liked, like, about the work of Anthony Bourdain, Jonathan Gold, Helen Rosner—caustic, knowing, it was haughty and condescending in precisely the way you want your anesthesiologist to be. This is your lunch but this is my life, she seemed to say. For those of us who measured a trip to Rome in the number of meals and not nights, she suddenly appeared to be a necessary kind of authority figure. Who else to trust? Throughout her work she seemed at once passionate, in love, and yet, voraciously, aggressively, dismissive. Critical to the point of spite. Logically, philosophically, it seemed clear: How could you have one extreme without the other? If you like everything you like nothing. And then you might as well stay in your hometown, go to Olive Garden.  

So we followed along. It felt we had no choice. Our concierge seemed happy, impressed even, by our request to make reservations in native tongue at a blue-tiled fish spot near the Bosphorus. Then there was first-lunch kofta and no turning back: red chile-flecked, flattened meatball wedges with beans and foreign peppers. By the time of our first Roman meal, we were literally tromping, through Testaccio like it was just another, only slightly less familiar neighborhood in Milwaukee. Filled with confidence, a cocky know-what-to-order swagger, emboldened by pocket Parla, her riding along in iOS form, we strutted toward burrata with anchovies, cacio e pepe. Eventually there was the carbonara with guanciale, in an impossibly romantic wine cellar, with a bite so beautiful I cried. And there was gricia, an ancient stone’s throw from the Parthenon, somehow still miles from anything so Rick Steves, where it was my wife’s turn to get emotional, lunchtime wine-drunk and in fear of only last bites in life. There was craft beer on Via Portuense, there was a plethora of artichoke hearts. Crackly Roman pizza seemed slung with a ridealong lesson—my hip pocket lecture cribbed from Parla, one for anyone that will listen, that wants to know what exactly Roman pizza is. There were the Neapolitan pizzas, all the doughy wood-fired Neapolitan pizzas, in Naples, selections from a food tour feature highlighting her expertise in the Houston Chronicle. There were twisty, slopey back alleys off of Istanbul’s teeming Istiklal Street, us craving Parla-endorsed craft cocktails, so befuddled a stranger accosted us, knowing we needed directional help. There were last night mezze's, where we propped ourselves upright, yawning from two weeks of road-tested marital bliss, through the endless customs check crawl in Istanbul’s Ataturk Airport, all for one last dinner and snack, one more bully-down of baba ghanoush, smoked fishes, in a second story place hidden on a maze-like street of Beyoglu that our hotel concierge had never heard of. Aside from requisite Bourdain spots, an homage at the site of Gandolfini’s last meal, and a tourist-trap or two for a view, Parla was responsible for maybe 90 percent of our stops. 90 percent of full life affirmation, new chapter celebration. The dozens of alternatives, the could have been’s, the next time’s, the “maybe we should have’s…” remain litanized in a dusty but oft pondered Google doc. For idle daydreaming, for hopeful mind meandering, for Kerouac-ish yearning when it’s gray and forever winter March in Milwaukee, and we need to remind ourselves that, one time at least, maybe sometime again, we did so much.       

Late one night in Rome, we found ourselves with Parla-approved reservations at a museum piece-feeling restaurant called L’Arcangelo. You could hear a pin drop as we walked through the door. At once, instantly and collectively, they didn’t like us. Stupid Americans read legibly on furrowed eyebrows. They wondered how we would desecrate their sanctuary. Still, we drank deep, the wine and the outrage, took it as vindication, validation. We pounded tender supplizio, soulfully spiced amatriciana, laughed subtly at our waiter’s disdain, assured in our order, huddled together conspiratorially in our marginal otherness. We followed the vibe back across the Tiber, feeling the eternal candlelight romance of a later era Woody Allen scene to a nearly empty cafe Parla had once touted for tea and brownies and a Wu Tang soundtrack. We quickly made friends with the bartender, becoming only slightly dismayed by the intrusion from a soft float of American voices out of a couple huddled in the corner. Later, rounding the bar for the bathroom, spotting a crooked nose, pairing it at once with Zoolander-esque pants and a distinctly nasal falsetto, did I realize that it was Owen Wilson. Hanging at a lowlight back table, with Kristen Wiig. Maybe we could have done without fellow Americans. Maybe it was an unnecessary touch of Hollywood, a famous person anecdote for future cocktail parties, a chance bit of big dealism. But emboldened by Campari, Peroni’s, I casually stopped Wilson as they brushed by us on the way out. We briefly exchanged lines from The Royal Tenenbaums. He was appreciative, shook my hand. I thanked him for the film, for the character, for all of Eli Cash. He laughed. Kristen Wiig laughed. It was impossible not to feel like a Talking Heads song, like we were in the right place. Exiting into the night, I whispered “Vamanos amigos” to my wife. Our laughter bounced around timeless cobblestones, the only people in the world, but for one silent, third wheel partner gently nudging us. Properly, for maybe one more Negroni. Through the cacophony of Yelp and the cavalcade of internet dickheadedness, everybody thinking themselves a critic, all the influencers, everyone their own self-assured tastemaker, we seemed to have found just the right person to tag along behind. The right person to show us the world.