#i literally trusted her. unassuming of her.

[whatswrongwithblue]

The Fire in the Sin

Chapter 26 - The Show Must Go On

Word count: 9,332. Read on AO3. Series Masterlist. <- Previous Chapter

Summary: the battle and the consequences

Series Summary

In the 1950's, Alastor met the woman he would eventually marry but unfortunately his Radio Demon persona went for her soul rather than her hand. He has to learn what it means to love, and cherish, without possessing and he does. Their relationship is beautiful, strong, unbreakable . . . but he carries a dark secret through their marriage for decades until eventually he has to face the consequences of that secret and leave her, without warning, for seven years. He returns, finding her at the Hazbin Hotel, and has to convince her to forgive him, while being literally bound to secrecy, unable to tell her any of things he now is desperate to explain to her.

(This is a duel timeline fic, timestamps will be a the top of every chapter.)

Chapter 26 - The Show Must Go On

Alastor was a master of hiding his true feelings and intentions. Since his return, he had often relied on that skillset to manipulate his way through the workings of the hotel, to twist and turn his guidance of Charlie where he needed, and to charm others into trusting that his presence there would be of their benefit. It wasn’t necessarily untrue though it also wasn’t explicitly honest of him to allow them all to believe what they did of him.

However, on the morning of the extermination, there was no need to pretend away any of his feelings. His glee, his absolute eagerness to see those angels descend upon the hotel, allowed him to express himself in an open and true way that he usually had to reserve for his private moments alone with Mina.

His wife was also an open book, though she was more anxious than he was. She gripped onto the ledge in front of her, watching as her friends battled with the few angels that had made their way to the hotel before Alastor’s shield had been raised.

Mina was the very image of beauty that morning. It was rare to see her in anything but her usual attire and he had to admit, he rather liked her in pants. The tight black trousers and long sleeved orange shirt hugged her figure and gave her a grace and agility her preferred dress could never achieve. Her hair was pulled up into a bun with side braids that laced just beneath her ears. After seeing her show off her improved fighting style with her spar against Vaggie the day before, Alastor kept looking over at her with a rekindled appreciation for her hidden strengths. Mina was always such a petite, unassuming person that it was easy to forget, even for himself, how positively deadly she could be.

So far, her worry over their safety appeared to be needless. The small army from cannibal town seemed to be holding their own, the hotel residents were doing quite well for themselves, and Mina’s friends from The Pit were demolishing any angel that came near them. It was easy, effortless work, with sheer numbers and preparations on their side, where the angels were separated from the rest of their army and had vastly underestimated what they were up against.

Alastor still wasn’t worried when his shields fell.

It was of little consequence if he had to face Adam, in fact, a part of him had been looking forward to the thrilling challenge of it.

Mina had turned to him as soon as it happened, reluctant to follow through with what she had agreed to.

“Go,” Alastor told her, gesturing towards the next wave of angels that were nearly on the people down below. “They need you far more than I do.”

“If you die, I’ll never forgive you,” she said, giving him one last hard look, before stepping through a portal and leaving him alone on the roof of the hotel.

For the first time, he was truly grateful for their seven years apart. He was sure if she hadn’t experienced the pain of it, hadn’t had to dig through the remains of her heart and find the strength to face what he had put her through, she wouldn’t have been able to follow through with leaving him to face Adam alone.

And even afterward, when everything had gone terribly wrong, he still didn’t regret his decision to make her leave his side. He had just barely survived the blow from that terrible weapon of Adam’s and he was certain that Mina wouldn’t have been able to do the same. And if she died, every last shred of goodness still left inside of him would die with her.

No, it simply wouldn’t be allowed to come to that. She was far safer and more useful to his cause down below, keeping Charlie safe and fighting exterminators of a less impressive caliber than the one he was now staring down.

____

Mina stepped out of her portal and into chaos.

She had a moment to look back up towards the hotel and catch a glimpse of Adam in his white and golden robes flying lower, clearly headed towards Alastor, before an exterminator was on her. Just in time, she lifted her spear and blocked the attack, throwing the angel off balance and smashing the blunt end of her spear into the other woman’s mask, knocking her to the ground and impaling her through the chest hard enough that Mina had to put her weight into yanking the spear out, its tip having lodged itself into the concrete beneath the angel’s back.

Her head tilted to the side as she considered her fallen enemy. The woman’s mask was shattered, the insulting demonic visage sputtering as the imagery failed, though her true face was still hidden from Mina. After a couple gurgled breaths, the angel went limp. Mina bent down and grabbed her spear, happy to now be duel wielding them, and kicked the dead angel in the head as she stepped away from her. She’d always hated those fucking masks.

Vaggie was glued to Charlie’s side so Mina kept nearer to her comrades from The Pit, though she kept one eye on the couple in case something were to happen to Vaggie and Charlie needed the added protection. She had promised Alastor she would keep her safe and though Charlie was more powerful than anyone else there that day, Mina wasn’t confident in the princess’s ability to understand and wield that power just yet.

She watched as Astra used her chameleon powers to camouflage herself in the darkest recesses of the battle ground before striking out with simple yet devastating strikes of her spear. Fae and Lilah were the very images of grace, their hyper feminine forms making them look more like they were doing a ballet rather than fighting to the death, if it weren’t for the splatters of gold blood on their features. Alina was in her full demonic visage, a terrifying giant bat, her large leather wings allowing her an ariel advantage. The angels were not used to having victims that fought back and they were extra poor at defense when airborne. Any of them that tried to attack the hotel residents from above was met with Alina’s perfect combinations of angelic spear and the wide gaping maw of her hungry mouth. Kaden and Silva were mostly fighting amongst the cannibals, their own fighting style less refined than that of the others but more brutal, and their high-pitched cackles echoed through the courtyard, even over the din of the battle around them.

Mina wasn’t keeping track of how many angels she had taken down. She had joked with Angel the night before that they should make a competition of it, like Legolas and Gimli, but he hadn’t gotten the reference. Her spear sank into the gut of an oncoming exterminator and it didn’t exit out her back so Mina twisted the spear and pulled it sideways and out, leaving a gaping hole in the angel’s torso.

That had to have been at least a dozen.

Something whizzed past her ears and half a second later a large explosion came from a few feet behind her. She turned behind her to see Husk with his hand still midair, having just thrown a card and sending her would be attacker into a box of empty crates stacked at the side of the courtyard.

Mina gave Husk a small smile of appreciation before turning on the angel that was now getting up from where she had landed, shoving a crate off herself with a disgusted grunt.

The angelic steel-edged axe Mina had been eyeing the morning before was strapped to her hip and she dropped one spear to reach for it, eyeing it almost lovingly as she tossed it once in her grip before the handle settled into her palm, perfectly balanced, and she pulled her arm back and threw it. Her aim was true and the axe landed with a satisfying crunch in the middle of the angel’s face.

“FUCKING BULLSEYE! FUCK YEAH BITCH!” Cherri’s voice shouted from several feet away before the blonde set a stream of bombs flying over Mina’s head and into the next oncoming surge of angels.

Mina smiled, taking in a long deep, open-mouthed breath, savoring the sweet smell of golden blood all around her.

This was going well.

A moment later, Mina’s confidence was shattered as she saw a great flash of gold lightning from the corner of her eye and turned to see Vaggie and Charlie thrown to the ground.

“SUCK MY HOLY LIGHT, FUCKERS!”

Adam.

“-but Alastor was supposed to handle him. Oh no, he must be- ”

Charlie’s voice had said out loud what Mina had been thinking. Before she could process anything, she was stepping through a portal and back on the roof of the hotel.

“ALASTOR!” she screamed, running around the rooftop, looking for any signs of him.

She closed her eyes and breathed slowly, and her feline olfactory senses picked up the sharp metallic tang she knew so well. Mina was familiar with the unique smell of Alastor’s blood, had tasted it on her own lips, and delighted in the way his scent strengthened every time she drew it from his body. It was a smell she associated with desire and pleasure, of their most intimate moments together. It was hardly something she was used to associating with danger and dread but that was what the scent was making her feel now.

Mina chased the smell across the rooftop and found a disturbing amount of it splashed onto the floor of the rooftop. She knew from experience that blood spilled from a body always appeared to be far greater in volume than what was true, but from the pattern of it and the deep crimson color, it looked to have been spilled quickly and from an incredibly deep wound.

But there wasn’t a trail of blood leading away and there was no body.

Mina squeezed her eyes shut, holding closed fists to them as she felt the sting of tears and the crushing grip of panic threatening to spill out of her. Her chin quivered and she grimaced but she still forced herself to keep it together for a little while longer.

His shadow could have moved him. Conscious or unconscious, it would have been able to get Alastor to safety and there would have been little Adam could do it to stop it. She knew this and held tightly to the hope that no matter how badly he had been hurt, he would have gotten away.

But it was an angelic weapon that had hurt him. And there was so much blood.

Even if he had gotten to a safe place, he wouldn’t be able to heal from that kind of a wound.

Alastor could still bleed out and die before she ever got to him.

Maybe his shadow would come back after getting Alastor to safety. It would know he needed help and that she would be his best bet of getting it.

But Alastor had told her to stay by Charlie’s side. He had said she needed to keep her away from Adam. Maybe he wouldn’t send his shadow for her after all. She couldn’t imagine Alastor being that selfless of his own accord but if he had been forced to ask that of her because of his deal – she just didn’t know.

She didn’t know what to do.

Now panic’s beastly nature was truly digging its claws into her, making her lungs feel like they were being ripped from her chest and her heart bitten clean in two. She was frightened beyond belief, frozen in place by the fear that Alastor was dying and that she would utterly fail him in every way.

Two angels landed on the roof top just a few feet from her and suddenly the blinding white mask of panic was lifted from her eyes and in its place, the burning red of fury.

Mina screamed as she let her rage and despair burst out of her, her fists consumed in golden fire that she sent in a torrent across the rooftop that completely engulfed the angels and within seconds they were nothing but smoldering blackened bodies lying on the ground.

The flames had caught Adam’s attention and she made eye contact with him the second he turned and looked at her.

“Well la-dee-fucking-dah bitch. Looks like someone’s been making friends with the bitch-ass loser squad you got running the place down here.”

“Where is he?!” she shouted at him and Adam’s smile grew wider.

“Let me guess, Mr. fucking jazz hands? Yeah, I sliced his ass in half. Sucks for you, bitch.”

He flew straight at her, his weapon held high over his head, and she let another scream tear out of her as she sent the biggest wave of fire she had ever seen at him.

The heat felt like it was going to boil her alive, she could feel the power pulling her inside out, like a taught string that started all the way down in her toes and threatened to tear her muscles from her bones and dislocate every joint in her body.

She kept the flames going as long as she could stand, a tornado of golden fire that could have burned an entire crowd of Sinners and leveled buildings.

When Mina could take it no longer, she dropped to her knees, her arms and head falling forward, and she gasped for air, trying to cool down her overheated and feverish body.

Laughter was the first thing she registered and she lifted her gaze back up, blinking in confusion.

Adam was hovering in the sky. His robes had a singular spot of soot on them but he was otherwise completely untouched.

It wasn’t possible.

She had seen what her fire had done to the other angels. Adam may have been the first man but he was still a human soul. The kind of fire she just wielded should have been enough to take out the likes of Lilith. Even Abaddon and Lucifer would have been hurt by it.

The other exterminators may not have come prepared, but Heaven had clearly imbued Adam with powers far stronger than he should have had.

“Awwww, what’s the matter? Not hot enough for ya? I bet I can spice things up!”

He slashed his weapon out in front of him, sending a beam of light her way. Mina got to her feet and just barely dodged it, watching as it hit the edge of the roof and sent a corner of concrete and brick falling to the ground several stories below.

We’re all going to die.

Alastor’s shadow did not seem to be coming back for her, which may mean he was very likely already dead.

There was no way she could fulfill her promise and keep this man away from Charlie.

But she wouldn’t die with his annoying fucking laughter ringing in her ears.

Mina felt her body morph, her hands and feet morphing into gigantic clawed paws, her face elongated into that of a hideous demonic feline predator, and took a running sprint towards the ledge of the roof.

She jumped, her front feet catching the edge, with her back feet landing between them a second later, and she kicked off with all her strength, and reached her long front legs out towards the angel.

A moment later, his laughter finally cut short as her claws and teeth found robes and flesh. Mina dug in with all her inhuman strength, and tasted the mouthwatering sweet flavor of angelic blood. But it was only a little.

In this form she would have been able to bite a Sinner clean in two but she could barely puncture his skin.

”Ow! Owww! Oww you fucking bitch! Let go of me you cunt!”

He was putting in every effort just to keep them from going into a freefall, her massive weight dragging them slowly downwards as his wings struggled to keep him airborne. Luckily for her, in his distraction, his deadly angelic weapon was forgotten as he squirmed and shrieked under her grasp.

She should have brought one of her spears, held between her teeth as she leapt, but she had been consumed with rage and exhausted from her attempt with the fire and not thinking clearly.

Even in this form, Mina was exhausted and losing her grip on Adam. He was tiny compared to her and the only thing holding her up, and she couldn’t dig her claws and teeth in like she had expected to be able to. With every difficult, struggling flap of his wings, she was jostled and slipping lower, leaving pathetic little tears in his robes as she did so.

But at least he wasn’t laughing anymore.

With some unseen strength and momentum, Adam was able to spin midair and remember his weapon, hitting her with the flat side of it and knocking the wind out of her. It didn’t slice her skin or leave any kind of lethal wound, but she still felt her ribs crack under the impossible force of it, and her grip faltered.

As she fell, she heard Charlie’s voice cry out her name. She looked up and saw Sir Pentious’s war machine being blown to bits.

She turned midair, her cat-like sense of direction instinctually kicking in and making her fall feet first. Even in the last couple seconds she had as the ground rushed towards her, she knew she wouldn’t make it through the impact in one piece. When the loan sharks had come for Mimzy, she had made the jump of just a few stories but Adam had them at a height far greater than that of the entire hotel. In all her years in Hell, she had yet to be injured bad enough to die and respawn but she thought she might get the opportunity now.

In the very last second, she saw a movement of black streaking across the ground below. It was Alastor’s shadow. It had come back for her and it was racing towards her now, putting in every bit of speed and power into reaching its form off the ground in order to stop her fall.

It reached her too late.

____

Charlie watched helpless as Mina’s leopard form hit the ground with a thunderous boom of cracking asphalt and shattering bones. She ran to her side as unconscious and near death, her body formed back into that of a petite black-haired woman, her limbs twisted unnaturally and blood pooling out from beneath her head.

She cried out Mina’s name, afraid to touch her, unaware of Vaggie covering for her and holding off more exterminators as she knelt beside her friend.

Charlie then watched as two black hands reached up from the ground and ever so tenderly wrapped themselves around Mina. A pair of glowing green eyes and an equally illuminated smile peered at the princess from behind Mina’s shoulders, and Charlie pulled away, afraid at first but then quickly understanding what was happening. She nodded to Alastor’s shadow, although it clearly wasn’t asking for her permission, and then they were both gone.

____

Alastor had stayed in his shadow realm for as long as he could allow before his shadow had dumped him in front of the ruins of his radio tower and left. He could only assume – hope – that it went to go find Mina.

Losing, especially as devastatingly as he had, had not been in the cards for him. It had been a grave miscalculation, and one he could not afford to make again. He had told Mina he had back up plans to his back up plans and that was true. A last minute escape plan for himself was something he always had in place, he just never expected to have come so close to death to have to use it.

Once inside the safety of the tower, he bent over double, coming to terms with the wound across his torso and the inevitability of what his failure meant. He was bleeding out, shivering from the chill the blood loss was causing, and wrinkling his nose at the stench of death that was surrounding him. And without him present at the battle, Charlie would go straight for Adam ��� and that meant Lucifer would be free to intervene.

Alastor had barely escaped with his life, but he imagined, with quite a bit of reluctance, that Lucifer would have no problems disposing of Adam. It would make him look weak and vulnerable in comparison and that would just be the start of his problems with Lucifer’s presence.

Uuggghhh

He grimaced as he pulled his hands away from the shredded remains of his jacket, taking in the bloody mess on his palms.

One problem at a time.

If only his shadow would hurry up. He could really use Mina’s help stitching up this mess.

As if on cue, he felt his shadow’s return and turned around to see the crumbled mess that was Mina’s body on the floor as his shadow remained attached to her rather than coming back to join its master.

Despite his dire wound and the dizziness brought on by a lack of blood, Alastor moved quickly, albeit clumsily, over to where Mina lay and fell to his knees in front of her.

She was a mess. Limbs twisted in unnatural angles and her hair matted with blood from a terrible wound at the side of her head. He could hear her breathing; raspy and gurgling, like each intake of air was a struggle against lungs full of blood.

His shadow stretched out beneath her and connected him to her, allowing Alastor to take full stock of her injuries.

Ankles and wrists were completely shattered. Several fractures along each long bone in her limbs. Dislocated hips and shoulders. Broken ribs with punctures lungs. But the worst was her head trauma. One temple was crushed in, causing swelling on her brain. If she were still alive . . . well, she’d be dead already. But since she was already graced by death, she would be fine. She wouldn’t even have to respawn; her body was already healing. It would take time, and she would be unconscious for the next several hours, but she would live.

Alastor felt a rage like nothing he had ever known burn up inside him. Not even when Kassandra had tortured her body and taken over her mind had he felt so insulted. Not even when he had been made to leave her for years did he feel this disgustingly helpless. For someone to encroach upon what was his in such a defiling manner went far beyond what he could tolerate.

And the very worst part about it all was that there wasn’t a God damn fucking thing he could do about it but be patient and watch over her while she healed.

Alastor brushed a lock of black hair that had come loose from her braids away from her face and let his fingers trace down her pale cheek before his hand fell away from her. As he stared down at the one precious thing he allowed himself to keep close to his heart since his mother’s death, he felt a mad sense of determination take over him.

I’m hungry for freedom like never before.

It was so clear to him now that he had made his deal in haste; that there were consequences he couldn’t have ever imagined when he had made it and now Mina was bearing the brunt of his poor decisions.

She wasn’t supposed to have happened.

Love.

It had been the last thing he had thought capable of happening to him and yet here it was, crushing him, the weight of it unbearable, and also the greatest, most wonderful part of his long and suffering existence.

He watched his shadow slink away from him and to his utter astonishment, slip inside of Mina. All at once her body seemed a little more whole, her limbs pulled back just a few more inches towards normalcy. It wasn’t just joined with her – a feat he thought it incapable of doing with anyone but himself – but it was like it was helping hold her together. Not only was the display of its power a shock to him but the fact that it was willing to do that for Mina, without Alastor commanding it to, was the biggest surprise of the day.

Even it understood the importance of her.

Well, that was . . . interesting, to say the least. Alastor wondered what the person who held his chain would have to say about that. Mina was such an integral part of his soul that even his shadow could – no, wanted ­- to be joined with her. Maybe it was part of the deal they made with each other when they were married. Or maybe it really was just the power of love. Who was to say?

When his chest wasn’t nearly ripped in half, he would allow himself a good petty laugh about that.

Take care of her.

He sent the thought towards his dark companion and stepped away to stitch himself up while he waited for her to recover. It wouldn’t do to have Mina heal and wake up to find herself a widow.

____

The first thing she was aware of was singing.

In the dark of her unconscious state, with no body to feel other than a distant dull pain, there was little else but the sound of Alastor’s voice soothing her few remaining senses and keeping her calm.

So hold your breath

And bite your tongue

My love

I will hold you til’ the morning comes

The night is young

And the darkness long

But my love

I will hold you til’ the morning comes

It was her lullaby but made anew by his unique voice and radio static affect. She tried to move towards the sweet sound of it but she remained motionless in the black. His voice was everywhere but drifting away and try as she might to strain her ears, she couldn’t triangulate which direction the singing was coming from.

Alastor.

She sent his name out into the abyss, a desperate cry for him to stay, but his voice abruptly stopped. Silence rang in her ears and the darkness swallowed her up.

_____

Pentragram City was laid out in front of her, it’s skyscrapers and city streets lit up even in the earliest hours of the morning.

The color of the red tinted city scape was exaggerated by the large glass windows she was looking through. It was a different city, and from a different vantage point, than what she was used to seeing and yet still very familiar.

This was Alastor’s radio tower. His real one.

Their home.

“What year is it?”

She heard Alastor shift behind her and turned to find him on his couch, stretched out in nothing but his bathrobe and a pair of black boxers with little red deer skulls and antlers on them. He had a book in his hands and he set it open on his chest as he looked at her with a raised eyebrow.

“What a peculiar question, my love. And what are you doing up this early?”

“Couldn’t sleep.”

“You seem to be sleeping just fine.”

“I guess I am, but it doesn’t feel right.”

“Come here, ma cher.”

She stepped away from the window and walked over to him, her bare feet almost silent across the smooth floor. She was wearing an old pair of sleepwear she hadn’t seen in years, a button up silk shirt and matching emerald shorts. There was no wedding band on her finger and judging by the state of the city, this was either the late 1970’s or the very early 80’s.

Mina sprawled across Alastor, letting her body settle between his legs and her head on his chest as he wrapped her in his embrace and began stroking her hair.

“I miss this,” she said.

“You still have this.”

“No, it’s not the same. I miss our life. Our home.”

“I’m sorry,” he said, and she felt his chest rise and fall with a gentle sigh that betrayed his own sadness. “I suppose you’re tired of hearing me say things will work out eventually.”

She said nothing for a moment, just listened to the sound of his heart beating beneath her ears. She was tired of hearing it but she also needed his reassurance more than ever.

“I need to wake up,” she said, and tried to rise.

His arms tightened around her.

“Eventually yes. After all, company in coming. But right now you need to rest.”

“What’s going to happen next?”

“All in due time, my dear. All in due time.”

____

The darkness wasn’t as deep this time. She could make out a reddish haze and see the swirling shadows move around her. But the pain was much closer now, an ache she tried in vain to pull away from but it only made the pain bloom brighter, blinding her against all else, so she stopped trying to move.

Alastor.

She tried to scream his name and felt nothing but a breath of air escape her lips.

Hush now.

Alastor?

A deep, soft chuckle.

Yes and no.

Who are you?

I am more than Alastor. I am less than Alastor. I am him and he is me but we are not one and the same.

You’re his shadow?

Ah yes, that is what you call me. That is accurate enough for now.

I didn’t know you could talk.

I cannot. I am sending you images, feelings, . . . impressions. Your mind is turning them to words.

How?

I believe it is a consequence of being immensely . . . brain damaged. You’re hallucinating. But my presence is very real.

You’re inside of me? Why? How?

Because you need me. And he needs you. So this is where I must be.

I saw you watching us last night. While we were making love. Why were you doing that?

Another laugh.

That is what you wish to speak of while I’m keeping your brain matter from seeping out your skull like a boiling over pot of rice pudding?

It must be the brain damage.

A moment of silence and Mina thought it had left her.

I was curious.

Do you love me?

It was a childish thought and still it escaped her mind, her thoughts unable to be hidden in this in-between state.

She felt a shift in the shadows and got the impression that it was considering her question.

I alone can not feel love. Alastor loves you. I . . . am drawn to you.

Is Alastor going to die?

He is already dead.

You know what I mean!

She tried to move again, felt her face twitch, her eyebrows pinching together for a moment. She was waking up, she was almost there. The pain was unbearable but if she could just get her eyes to open-

A frustrated sigh and a force tightening around her, keeping her still and dulling her pain. It was heavy and immovable but comforting, like an infant being swaddled.

He will be there when you wake. I will be here while you sleep.

____

The sound of ocean waves came first and then the emotions; absolute bliss, happiness and peace beyond what she had ever experienced.

Mina blinked and she was lying naked on a beach, the sky a blend of deep orange at the horizon and midnight blue overhead, with a few star constellations already in view.

This was the pocket dimension Alastor had given her as a wedding gift.

Her smile split her face and she rolled onto her back, enjoying the warmth of the sand beneath her naked body, and began laughing.

She was high as a fucking kite.

Alastor shifted next to her, pressing his face into the side of hers, and kissing her cheek as he joined her in her laughter. He was as naked as she was, his body even softer and warmer than the sand.

“I want to be inside of you,” he whispered in her ears once he stopped laughing.

She remembered this night well.

1994. They had each taken a large dose of molly and laid under the stars all night. It was one of her happiest, most intimate memories of Alastor and they hadn’t even had sex that night. Just laid naked and pressed to each other, talking about how wonderful their lives were and basking in each other’s love.

She giggled some more, running her hand down the expanse of his scarred chest.

“You’re not even hard right now, love,” she teased.

“Not like that,” he said with a chuckle and a role of his eyes.

She knew what would come next, remembered this moment in perfect clarity, and let herself be completely immersed in reliving this wonderful night.

“I want to be as close to you as possible,” he said. “I never want to feel anything but you. I want you to hold me, and touch me, and surround me, and never let me go. Everything else makes me feel so poorly but not you so if I’m inside of you all the time, I’ll always feel good.”

His ineloquent words made perfect sense to her drugged-out mind. As silly as he sounded, and stupid as the dopey smile on his face was, it seemed like the sweetest thing in the world to be told.

“Then hold tight and never let me go,” she had said, rolling back over on her side to face him, curling her smaller body into his.

“I already tried that.”

His voice had lost all its joy. That wasn’t right, she didn’t remember this part.

“Alastor?” she questioned, sitting up so she could look down on him.

He sat up with her and she watched in horror as his chest began to split open, a gaping bleeding wound that looked like it would cleave him in two.

“But fret not, my love,” he said and as the words left him, stitches began to loop through his lips, pulling on his skin and making them bleed as he continued to try and speak to her. “This is not where this ends.”

____

You have a rather dark imagination.

I’ve heard that before.

I told you Alastor will be fine and yet you continue to worry.

Oh sorry, I’ll just turn off my feelings then.

You are being sarcastic.

No shit Sherlock.

Alastor often says the same thing about his feelings but I don’t think it’s with sarcasm.

That sounds like him.

You sound bitter. But it’s how he survived the last seven years.

Good for him.

There is someone else in here with us. Someone who brought you even more pain than he did.

I don’t want to talk about it.

But you’re thinking about her.

Am not.

Have it your way. I’d prefer you to stay asleep anyway.

Kinky.

There was no response except for a deeply annoyed sigh.

____

“Margarette.”

Mina turned from the waves crashing against the rocky cliffside view that had been just a short walk away from her childhood home and was surprised to find her sister standing behind her.

“You should have stayed here,” said the younger woman and Mina took a moment to study her.

They were both spitting images of their mother; hair the color of a wheatfield at sunset, sapphire blue eyes, with small rounded faces and button noses. The only feature they had inherited from their redheaded father was the smattering of freckles across their noses, cheek bones, and shoulders.

“It’s been a long time since I dreamed of you,” Mina said.  

“You ruined your life.”

“I saved my life.”

“You killed everything you ever touched.”

“Because everything that touched me wanted me dead.”

“And now you’re in Hell.”

“And now I can finally live.”

Her sister crossed her arms, a defiant and proud look to her features that Mina wanted to slap away. She never used to look at her that way. Before, her sister had always seen the best in Mina. But then they’d grown up, as only the luckiest children get to do, and her sister had found her own happiness and had no more room in her heart for Mina’s suffering.

“Why do you hate Heaven so much?” her sister asked.

“Because I love Hell.”

“Then you really are beyond saving.”

Mina stormed towards her sister, her fist clenched at her side.

“Hell gave me a life worth living. A real family that understands me and cares for me. Hell gave me love, a man who knows me for what I really am and neither fears me nor feels the need to control me. I got everything I ever wanted and never found in life when I went to Hell and all Heaven sees when they look at us down there is a threat when all we want is to be left alone!”

“Do you have any idea what will happen now? What it is you’ve started?”

Lightning flashed above them, followed by a clap of thunder that shook the ground beneath them.

They both looked up at the sky, full of angry rolling clouds that seemed to be much lower than before. They swirled and twisted, almost as if they were reaching down for them.

“Company is coming,” her sister said, looking back at her.

“I know,” Mina said, her eyes still stuck on the storm.

“They’ll choose Heaven, you do know that right? When the time comes, they’ll choose to go home.”

Mina frowned, confused at what her sister meant, but when she looked away from the clouds and back at her, she was gone.  

____

Was it worth it?

Yes.

How can you say that? Even now. We almost died.

We are already dead.

You left me.

We are here now.

What made it worth it? What was worth bargaining for that made his deal worth it?

Alastor.

I don’t understand.

Alastor was worth it.

You’re making less sense than him!

Would you have Alastor as anything more or less than what he is?

What does that have to do with his deal?

No response.

No, she finally relented.

Then you already know it was worth it.

What is going to happen now?

What has to be done.

____

Mina opened her eyes.

She blinked slowly, taking in the blurry images around her, managing to turn her head side to side despite the awful stiffness of her neck and shoulders.

Everything was a wreck. Windows shattered, furniture tossed around, large cracks ran up the wall, and everything seemed to be at the wrong angle. It made her head spin with vertigo as she tried to get her bearings.

Mina groaned as she sat up, feeling her body weak and trembling with the effort. Her bones, having freshly pulled themselves together, creaked and popped with the effort, but stayed in their proper places. Besides her splitting headache and nausea, the worst part was the stiffness. She felt like she was underwater, her limbs barely responding to the commands of her damaged nervous system, and her muscles suffering from whiplash severe enough to make her feel like she had literally been run over by a bus.

Or fallen from the sky.

“You gave me quite the fright,” Alastor’s voice called to her from across the room. She turned in that direction and saw him with his back turned to her, his jacket discarded to the side, as he seemed to be focused on something in front of him.

He glanced over his shoulder at her, just enough for her to see the glow of his eyes and the wide strain of his smile. His silhouette against the low red light coming through the window betrayed him, showing how tightly his long ears were pinned back. “How are you feeling?”

She tried to laugh and coughed instead, grimacing as the motion pulled on her still tender rib cage. “Like I could take on the world.”

His shadow pulled out from beneath her and danced across the wall as it let its master reclaim it. It connected itself at Alastor’s feet, though it stayed stretched out and visible along the floor.

Alastor turned to look at it and raised an eyebrow as if considering something it had said.

“Someone doesn’t find your sarcastic nature very amusing,” he said after a moment.

Mina slowly got to her feet, wobbling a bit and leaned on the wall for a few seconds before she righted herself.

“Funny. It seemed to me like it was having a grand ol’ time sneaking around my thoughts.”

It was then she noticed his broken microphone laying in two pieces on the floor next to him. Her head spun as she tried to make her way over to him, her concussed state struggling terribly to make sense of the tilted nature of the room they were in.

“Al’,” she choked out, stumbling towards him as she tried to process what she was seeing. “What happened. Wh-what- . . . you’re microphone . . . what does this mean?”

“I’m honestly not sure, my dear,” he said, still turned away from her. “I’ll have to deal with that later. Right now, I have a bigger, more imminent problem.”

She noticed then the severity of his tone of voice, the barely hidden pain as he spoke through gritted teeth, and the sharp intake of breath he took every few moments.

As she came around to the side of his chair, stepping carefully around his broken staff, she gasped as she took in the sight of him.

He had managed to stitch up most of it, but there was a gash from hip to opposite shoulder that looked like it went quite deep across the middle. The stitches were the same magical illuminated green as the ones she had seen on his mouth, which normally would have intrigued her more, if she wasn’t so concerned about the severity of the wound she was looking at.

Alastor allowed her to pull back his unbuttoned shirt, exposing the part of the gash high up on his shoulder that still wasn’t stitched up. Though a bit of blood was still seeping through the rest of the stitches, this part was flowing freely, soaking his shirt and leaving a wide path of red down his ribs and all the way to top of his trousers.

She met his eyes and saw the embarrassed, frantic look in them.

“I need your help,” he whispered, looking to the side in shame. “I can’t . . . I can’t reach the last part.”

“Okay,” she said softly and then gestured at his lap. “May I sit?”

His smile spread although there was still no humor in it.

“My darling, when have I ever denied you that privilege?”

Mina didn’t respond, thinking of the many times he had done just that, and took her seat, taking the needle from his hand. It shook in her grasp, either from the shock of seeing him in such a state or from her still healing concussion, she couldn’t know, but she braced the side of her hand against Alastor to steady it before threading the needling through one side of the wound to the other, pulling the green string through as she did.

Alastor hissed in pain as she did so, instinctually flinching as the string slid through his flesh.

“Sorry, love,” she said. “Pain inflicted by someone else always hurts worse than when it’s self-inflicted, so these last few stitches are going to be even more unpleasant than what you’ve already experienced.”

“Spoken like a true professional torturer.”

She side-eyed him.

“Do ya want my help?” she said, her accent unusually thick as she struggled to keep her stress at a manageable level.

His ears pinned back tighter and once again, he looked away.

“Please,” he relented.

An idea came to her then and as she cut the string and tied the stitch, she began to sing.

If you fall I’ll stand beneath you

I’ll wrap your wounds and kiss you tender

Rip my heart out still warm and beating

To place between your ribs if yours falters

Your sweet embrace

Has made a monster of me

I can not live, I can not speak

In a world where you cease to be

Can you feel me where you are

Are you torn and bleeding too

Do the skies cry wherever you’ve gone

With rain that burns, more black than blue

Well my love, what can I do

I can not save what is missing from here

I cannot die for what’s already gone

So I’ll hunt for you for many more years

My love for you

Has made a beast of me

I cannot live, I cannot breathe

In a world where you cease to be

Your love for me

Has left this creature in me

It cannot live, it will not leave

In this world where you’ve ceased to be

She tied the last stitch and used a rag to clean away most of the blood from his skin, though some of it was so dried she decided to leave it for now, rather than risk pulling on the stitches in an effort to rub away the little mess left behind.

Once she was done, Mina leaned forward and pressed a kiss to the now closed wound, feeling the stiches poke at her lips as she did so.

Alastor blinked, coming out of the lull she had sung him into, and tilted his head at her.

“What was that for?” he asked and she smiled at him.

“Kissing it to make it better,” she teased.

“That can’t be sanitary.”

Mina reached a hand behind his head and pulled his forehead down as she leaned forward and kissed him between the eyes. His body was stiff against her, the large stitched up wound making any kind of movement of his torso difficult, but he leaned into her embrace as much as he could.

She felt her chin begin to quiver as she held him. Now that she no longer had a task to focus on, the dam she had built up around her emotions was threatening to break.

Mina had never seen Alastor so defeated; so broken and near death. It frightened her, and what was worse was that she could see that paralyzing fear reflected back at her whenever she looked at him.

He was scared. She didn’t even know Alastor could be scared.

No one had ever managed to hurt him like this, at least not that she knew of. But here he was in her arms, barely having escaped being killed by a hair. His body nearly as cut in half as his microphone was.

The first sob broke free and Alastor brought a hand to her back, pulling her head towards his uninjured shoulder.

“Mina.” His tone was low as he said her name, free of the static and the accent he used to cover up his natural voice. “Mo chagren, ma cher.” I’m sorry, my dear. “You were never supposed to get hurt.”

She shook her head slightly, sniffing back her tears, and pressed her face into the fabric of his shirt.

“What about you? That weapon of Adam’s, what did it do to you?”

“Nothing I won’t recover from, I promise.” His voice was back to his normal radio persona and she felt his shields sliding into place, hiding away his vulnerable state, even from her.

She sat back and frowned at him.

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep,” she said, repeating his own words from the night before.

Mina didn’t like the look in his eyes. There was still so much fear there, and desperation, and a deep seeded rage that she knew she could only see the surface of. She had never seen him in such a state; not when he had his panic attack over her leaving him, not when Kassandra had nearly ruined her, and not even when he and Vox’s friendship fell apart.

“Oh, but I can assure you,” he said, his red eyes flashing brighter at her. “My every move from here on out will be figuring out a backdoor to my deal. It’ll set us both free of my mistakes. And after that, I will be the one pulling all the strings. You’ll see.”

His shadow stretched up along the wall, its face eager and claws stretched out long in anticipation. Mina looked at it and then back at Alastor and was reminded of the unease she had felt around him when they had first met. It wasn’t quite fear, but there was a level of apprehension growing in her chest as she pondered for the first time since his return, what his intentions going forward really were.

“Alastor, I just want you safe. As long as you’re here with me, I don’t care about the rest.”

He frowned at her, almost looking disgusted and moved to stand so she removed herself from his lap and let him walk away from her.

“You still don’t understand, but that’s okay, you will. You’ll see.” He was pacing now, agitated and still clearly in pain. His hand kept coming up to rub at the stitches and Mina realized she still needed to put bandages on it, but that thought was quickly pushed aside as she became more and more concerned about Alastor’s mental state.

“I want to. I’m trying to, love. Please don’t push me away right now.”

He turned and looked at her, still scowling but his smile stretched even wider when his eyes landed on hers.

Mina felt a coolness wrap around her shoulders and turned her head to see his shadow’s face next to hers, its long fingers caressing her skin as it smiled at her.

“Push you away?” he questioned and then laughed a dry, sardonic laugh that chilled her. “My darling wife, you and I are closer than we’ve ever been. And that’s good. We can use that to our benefit.”

His eyes narrowed and he tilted his head, studying her expression and clearly not liking what he saw there.

“Don’t look at me like that.”

“Like what?” she asked, her voice small.

“Like you’re afraid of me! Don’t . . . do not do that. Not now. Please, Mina- ”

His voice cracked and suddenly he was back in front of her, holding her again and she couldn’t bring herself to pull away. She wasn’t scared of him, was she? How could she be scared of him when her instincts still told her to embrace him, to run her fingers through his hair like she was doing, to let him pull her in for a passionate, needful kiss like he was. She couldn’t fear what she still so desperately loved. Could she?

“I need you,” he said as he finally pulled away, allowing her a chance to catch her breath after such an intense kiss. “I love you.” His fingers tenderly traced the side of her head beneath her ears, where there was still a painful knot of swelling. His eyes followed the path of his fingers, shining brightly with a storm of emotions she couldn’t quite decipher.

“I love you, too. Of course I do. I love you more than anything. Come on, let’s finish getting you bandaged up, okay? We can talk about this later.” She was rubbing his arms, trying to soothe him, but he still looked like he was on the verge of panic.

“The hotel . . .” he tried to speak but instead all that came out with the tuning sound of a radio, the sound Mina had grown accustomed to hearing from him rather than answers or explanations. Whatever he was trying to tell her just now, he wasn’t allowed to. He sighed hard enough to raise his shoulders and then flinched from the pain the movement caused him. “Whatever I do next, it’ll be worth it. I swear. Charlie- ”

He was silenced by static again and she felt him tense beneath her hands.

“Ssshhh,” she said, her heart beating hard in her chest even as she continued to try and sooth him.

“Whatever comes next, whatever you find out, whatever I have to do- ”

“Alastor, please stop- ”

“Don’t look at me like that.”

“I’m not. Sweetheart, I love you. Please sit down.”

“I will never hurt you. Please don’t be afraid of me.”

Mina paused, her mind sticking on the way he had emphasized his word choice.

He would never hurt her.

An idea came to her then and she wondered if she suddenly understood the source of his anxiety.

There were other people wrapped up in this that she cared about. Charlie, Angel Dust, Vaggie, Sir Pentious, and even Cheri Bomb. She actually liked them, respected them, and cared about them. They had become a part of her found family, as much as her friends from The Pit were. And she had suspected that Alastor was starting to feel the same. She knew he cared most for Niffty and far more for Husk than he would ever let on, but she had hoped he felt the same about the others. But what if he didn’t?

What if he thought they were worth disposing of, making collateral damage of, if it meant getting what he wanted?

What if, as much as she loved Alastor, The Radio Demon became the enemy of the people she cared about?

Could she stand by and let it happen?

What if it wasn’t fear for herself that she was feeling, but fear for others?

Alastor was right. He could tell she was afraid, even before she did.

She swallowed, telling herself she was jumping to conclusions, and made herself come back to the present moment.

Mina smiled weakly up at him and took his hand.

“I know you would never hurt me. Please, just calm down. Let me bandage you up, okay?”

He didn’t look completely convinced but he did finally do as she asked and sat back down in his chair and let her fret over his physical state for both their sakes.

As much as she tried to focus on what she was doing, Mina’s mind kept running away from her.

She knew this man. He was a killer, a powerful demon with a temper, yes, but she had also never seen him truly harm anyone that either of them cared about. Only people that they were convinced deserved it and she had reveled in being in proximity to that kind of power for so long she had forgotten what it was like to be on the wrong side of it.

Not to mention that for 70 years she had been kept blind to the fact that he had sold his soul.

And she had seen him use people as a means to his own ends before.

This new reality she was facing with Alastor was different from anything she could have prepared herself for. He was still her husband, still the same man that could make the rest of the world melt away with his embrace. And she believed him when he said he would never do anything to hurt her. Every part of him cherished her. Only her. And that might finally become a problem.

Because The Radio Demon?

The most powerful Overlord in Hell, now chained and gagged, having danced with death and barely made it out alive?

Mina couldn’t imagine a more unpredictable and dangerous beast.

Author’s Note: And that’s a wrap! Thank you to everyone who has followed along with this series. I know OC’s aren’t very popular fanfic reads but every single person who supported this story, both on AO3 and Tumblr, meant the world to me. Thank you for every kudo, like, reblog, and comment you all left me. I know season 2 feels like forever from now but I promise I will be back with the next installment after it comes out. I already have tons of ideas and a feeling for where I want to take Mina and Alastor’s story next, and I’m not afraid to break canon to do it, but I also want to see where Season 2 takes us before I solidify any plans. In the meantime, please enjoy a couple of bonus chapters I have coming out soon and check out my other Alastor x Reader stories. They were all pretty much inspired by ideas for this fic that I couldn’t quite fit into the narrative, but if you enjoy Mina x Alastor, you will like those stories as well.

@saccharine-nectarine @whoknowswhoiamtoday @redvexillum @visara-valentina @reath-solia

[fridakahloblvd]

the one time I trust an old white woman, I lose an eye…

I mean, sURE, there were some red flags. her potions didn’t work, and she talked with innuendo. her smile was kinda creepy, and she seemed a little too eager to talk to me.

I’m just humoring her at this point because she’s just a frail old woman lmao. I’m a sorcerer, I can tell she’s a little loopy.

but she was harmless! I find her and she’s surrounded by two young men who are threatening her. she had no weapons! they’re calling her a hag! 🙄 I get it, she’s a weird old lady, but that’s not a crime.

and I’m not buying this story about their sister! who’s to say she didn’t run off on her own volition? I know the genre we’re in! we meet so many star crossed lovers in act 1! maybe she didn’t like her home life! maybe her brothers are abusive!! Idk!!

so what was i supposed to do?! i met her first, and she was nice to me! she’s Auntie!! i tell them to leave her alone and they point their swords at me! and at this point I’m like lvl 2 or 3, so we easily kill them.

and it’s mostly just because I find her funny, Idk. I find Volo annoying, but I think Auntie’s great so maybe I’m just dumb. I role played the Volo surgery and save scummed back before that because I KNEW he was a bumbling idiot.

The letter the sister left behind doesn’t help either. I don’t know what to think of this situation, I just hope that the sister is safe and sound wherever she is.

Anyway, I go off. Auntie tells me to meet up with her as thanks, I go and fight the goblins and gnolls. the game tells me that I’m not ready to go after the Gith, so I decide that I’m ready to meet back up with Auntie.

I’m following the quest marker, when I step onto the sunlit wetlands. something happens, like a weird blast that changes the area into a stinky bog. ok. whatever. there’s some sheep and they’re highlighted so I grab Wyll to go talk to them.

but they turn into…gnomes? ok. whatever. there’s an illusion going on and these gnomes are trying to pass off as sheep. so I humor them. I “baa” at them. the only other options are to confront or attack them. I don’t feel like starting shit, so I let them be. maybe it’s a kink or they’re being method? I don’t judge.

so I bound up the stairs in this dispelled illusion bog-turned-wetland and there’s Auntie!

…with a young woman. and she’s forcing homegirl to overeat, telling her that she’s eating for two. and again…I’m not stupid. I clock the weird vibes. that’s Marcy what’s her name. the little sister. And Auntie’s being really cruel to her, threatening Marcy to finish her food.

I’ve read Hansel and Gretel, I know a thing or two about child eating witches. so I say something to Auntie, like “hmm. Marcy. ain’t that the name of the little sister of the two guys I killed for you?” like what’s up with that?

and she just tells me to shut it, that she doesn’t like busybodies. Astarion tells me to leave well enough alone, and not worry about strangers. Wyll and Lae’zel stay silent and just stand behind me with their arms crossed. and I suddenly wish I had brought Gale along because I’m romancing him. and he’s a wizard so he’s gotta have some expertise with all this.

but he’s not here. and then Auntie’s telling me that I gotta give up my eye in exchange for getting the worm out. and I’m just letting shit happen at this point because I wanna see where this leads.

so I say ok. but then she says she’s gotta get her long nails for this job. and I’m like, “huh?”

and she transforms into a big gnomish monster. a hag. and I’m just looking at her not knowing what to think. because just because she’s a hag, doesn’t mean she’s evil! right?

(I’d just listened to NADDPOD’s Twilight Santorum four shot and there was a nice hag there so I might’ve been biased. it’s a really funny and surprisingly heartbreaking story. the ending is so good)

Long story short, she pulls my eye out and then freaks out when she sees the worm. apparently it’s been tampered with. duh. we know. but she’s mad at ME, and says the deals off. and kicks me out.

WHAT. like…how rude. she’s like “oh I COULD do it. but I won’t. you’re not getting your eye back, but here’s a lil gift. piss off” and I just had to laugh! because what??

anyway, I’m tempted to save scum and go back and try to kill her I guess.

[vigilskeep]

With Bea being your potential canon Inquisitor, how would your protagonists feel about each other?

keir and minerva don’t easily trust each other. he sees someone manipulative and dangerous who is always acting for her own agenda and doesn’t take proper care of her own people. she sees exactly the kind of big heavily armed human man throwing threats and physical violence around that all her life experiences have taught her wariness and dislike for. they’re both very accustomed to being the scariest thing in the room and have a tendency to get territorial. however, they have ferelden in common (whatever keir’s other thoughts, he will always owe respect to the saviour of his homeland) and someone they love in common (whatever minerva’s other thoughts, she will always owe a helping hand to the person anders cares about, and who kept anders safe when she couldn’t be there). once they get to know each other and have some picture of why the other acts like they do, it’s not all bad. probably. eventually

keir always looks at beatrice and sees someone else. he sees his beloved sister, as the sheltered young andrastian noblewoman she might have been. he sees the sebastian who was once his friend, both his earnest kindness and his inclination for fanaticism. and he sees grand cleric elthina, a woman whose unassuming appearance never changed the amount of power she wielded and what a profound danger she was. he is never sure which of these is closest to the truth and it creates a mixture of protective sympathy and real fear he finds a little sickening. for her side, she finds him somewhat intimidating on a basic interpersonal level. which he... kind of fundamentally is, lmao. arguably they’re both free marcher nobles but they’re from such drastically different worlds of experience all the same. she gets most of her information on him from the excitement and romance of hushed gossip or varric’s stories. the reality has more harsher extremes than she would like. but she wants to believe he’s a hero and that they’re on the same side

minerva harbours particular dislikes of sickly-sweet earnestness, “overly” pious andrastians, warden hero worship, and people who simply have power drop into their lap and then don’t even have any idea what to do with it. beatrice is precisely a combination of those things. she is... not likely to be minerva’s favourite person in the world. however, on minerva’s return from wherever she is, she would forced to admit through gritted teeth that bea is not only genuinely well-intentioned but straightforwardly a political ally. she is literally going to be the one who legitimises the mage rebellion and ushers in the end of the circle of magi. on those grounds, minerva will contain herself from whatever the political equivalent is of unhinging her jaw like a snake and eating the poor girl alive. she would kind of be visibly containing herself from doing that if they ever met and it would be a pretty unsettling experience for everyone involved. bea is at present blissfully unaware of all that and continues to think of minerva as a great warden hero and would hotly defend her against any heinous rumours of blood magic and involving herself in politics more than wardens should

(bea’s perspective needs the most work here because she’s newer. i’m also working with current bea, as in, early game dai bea the bright-eyed idealist who believes andraste has chosen her. she definitely believes in heroes—in a fun, weirdly meta, a little self-important way, she’s probably very aware of the idea of herself, minerva, and keir as the three “protagonists” of the dragon age so far. i think the bea we end up with by trespasser might have a very different take on the other two after she ends up with a very different take on herself, but i haven’t gotten there yet. i suspect that at great personal cost she may even develop a personality minerva would find bearable to be around 😭)

[llamagoddessofficial]

hi ! it’s my birthday and i’ve wanted to ask this for a while but i get nervous at the last minute and change my mind. i’m not sure if you’ve gotten this ask before, but… moth mc ? maybe just some hcs if you’ve gotten this already ? thank you, and have a lovely day !

hgngngngng s... smoft moth gorl.....

She would, of course, be very soft. Floofy. Moth monsters are soft anyway but Mc is particularly fluffy

Think... rosy maple levels of fluffy

Although her particular moth species isn’t nailed down yet, she would definitely have a design that tries to scare away predators. I do like the idea of a madagascar bullseye moth’s wings- she looks camouflaged and unassuming, but she can suddenly reveal a very striking eye design when she feels threatened.

Her scent is sweet, slightly floral. It’s literally irresistible to the boys, and they can track it for miles.

Her antennae would be quite bushy, it’s important for her to be able to pick up sounds as she’s hunting/hiding. Also has the bonus of making her extra cute

She’s slightly venomous

Moth monsters tend to be solitary creatures, so she’s naturally quite nervous around other moths. Especially large males. Speaking of large males;

Sans: She likes Sans. He doesn’t intimidate her as much as other moths usually do, he feels friendly and he doesn’t immediately pursue her. Plus, his pheromones are a lot calmer and more mellow than those of the other two- though they don’t have the same instant-relaxation effect they might have on a human Mc he still radiates a comfortable aura that she likes.

Red: Look at him- he’s the ideal mate, right? Big and strong, great wings, vibrant colours and an attractive smokey scent. But that’s the problem, he’s too ideal. He’s intimidating. She’s spent her whole life being hunted by other moths and now you’re trying to convince her this perfect 10 is genuinely approaching her, with no ulterior motive? Get real. She doesn’t trust him, or his stupid pickup lines, or his stupid handsome eager smile.

Skull: Skull definitely terrified her at first. His frightening appearance, unnerving pheromones and uncontrollable urge to chase her down and squeeze her definitely gave her a shock. However, with some time (and forced cuddling), she realised he’s just a big ol’ softie who can’t get enough of her fluff and is addicted to her smell. She’s still a little bit scared of him considering he regularly jumpscares her with affection, but she’s gradually learning to love him back.

[queen-scribbles]

taris agent story mention trap card activated; I'm REAL curious to know how arkady is feeling about how everything goes on taris? a couple credits for his (preliminary at least) thoughts?

Well, first off, he's extremely wary of Lokin. He clocked how dangerous the Affable Unassuming Old Man is within second, just didn't figure out the "can transform into a rakghoul (almost) at will" part. (But really, who expects something like that?)

He hates Taris as an environment. Arkady is a city boy. He was born and raised on Ziost. Sure there was training for different terrain, but that doesn't mean he enjoys it. xD He does not like trekking through swamps and dodging cityscape debris and mud and predators and this is so much worse than the Dromund Kaas jungles.

He's... a bit of a mess mentally for a bunch of reasons, not the least of which is the brainwashing reveal. I think that hit him even harder than it did Ody and it flipped her world upside down. He tried to blame it on the Sith, but couldn't ignore the reality of even if they asked for it, Keeper(the First) complied. He hates so much that it proves Watcher X right. Oh, my gosh, he's so grumpy about that. But he's still sorting through it all--Imperial Intelligence brainwashed him, Republic SIS found out how to control him using it, he's supposed to infiltrate and destroy this cell but does he really want to do that? These seem like good people, who are doing what they have to to protect their people, and really, how different are they from him?

(and floating in the background of it all is Watcher Two's voice saying high Imperial citizen casualties from the Eradicators are acceptable if it lets them stop Jadus. Even having joined Intelligence more to get away from home than anything it bothers him that she's ready to make that sacrifice so easily. First crack in his resolve.)

Chance is easy to work with; trusts him to do the job and seems to accept he's working on it even with complications. (Arkady spends half of Taris fighting the urge to ask how long Chance as been an agent bc he's way more trusting than any other spy he's met. >.>) Ardun's reaction to/commentary on Ki Sazen is what makes Arkady suspect the man's a Jedi himself; it sounds like way too personal an issue. Does make him smirk a little the Jedi seem to have the same issues as the Sith with rogue members and the like.

All of my agents are what might seem too forgiving of Ardun and Chance using the keyword and even if he's not questioning as much as, say, Jaaide or Ody, Arkady's no exception. In fact, I think he's bothered by it almost the least(might be tied with Ody), bc with his ruthlessly pragmatic streak he would do the same as Ardun without hesitation. (He wouldn't even be sorry; this is a war and protecting your assets comes first) (Besides, there's that slave you inject with what's basically the prototype serum for the Castellan Restraints back on DK, so it'd be massively hypocritical bc he DID do the exact same thing)

Him saving Chance instead of letting him die is the second crack in his loyalty. He should be "eliminating the enemy" and this is literally the perfect cover; he wouldn't even have to do anything, his inaction would be enough. Just let Chance succumb to his wounds. But he doesn't. Bc he's not a bad person, and pragmatically speaking, helping Chance will further ingratiate him with the team.

By the time he actually confronts Ki Sazen, he's pretty thoroughly convinced she's crazy. Also acting like a petulant child who ran away from home bc she didn't get her way. He killed her, bc there's no way Arkady is going to suggest someone join the Sith, and he wouldn't think she has the temperament for spy work so SIS is out too. (Also that line about "You were a savior. Now you're a martyr" is a banger)

I don't think he'd completely sorted through all his thoughts and emotions about his, uh, circumstances by the time he left Taris. He definitely dislikes the Sith even more now(haha can't wait til he romances Lana and has to Rethink Biases), he picked up a new nexu pet who will love him no matter what his decisions, and he's further embedded himself with Kothe's team, which he tells himself is good bc it'll let him do his job better. Not bc he's actually starting to like most of them. >:3

[banggyu0308]

I- I literally can’t stop thinking about this, ada, but Over stim nerd Soobin x bitchy mean girl yn … I SWEAR I DIDNT MEAN FOR THIS TO BE THIS LONG !!!!

Yn wasn’t the typical rumor spreading, shit talking “mean girl”. She more so fell into the term of sadist… she tried to practice being nice to people that she knew could give her some type of advantage socially but deep down she loved to cause pain and havoc on people that she knew couldn’t stop her and she relished in the way they’d beg for her to stop with tears in their eyes. She managed to get through high school masking the urges, feeding her needs by acting out petty acts of bullying on unassuming subjects but it wasn’t enough. By the time she started university, she had to see what it felt like …what it felt like to truly ruin someone. Someone like him. Choi soobin.

They had a couple classes together in high school and they both just so happened to get into the same prestigious college. The last time she saw him, she saw just a linky, awkward kid with no form of self confidence but now she saw him as something different… something malleable , a toy all for herself that she could play with and break as she pleases. He’s just as tall and awkward as she remembers although his shoulders were more proportional to his body and he got a new pair of black framed glasses. Yn giggled to herself after seeing the new frames, remembering the time two guys took his glasses off of his face and broke them in front of him in high school. she watched the act as she crouched behind near by bushes. She didn’t understand why at the time but she felt some kind of heat brewing in her lower stomach that made her press her legs together tightly, watching him crying over his broken eyeglasses. But not an “I wish I could have helped” heat, this was an “I wish I could do that to him” heat , a “I would have done something far worse” heat. From that day forward , A day couldn’t go by without her thinking about breaking him down to the last molecule and making a mess out of him, leaving him a crying, moaning puddle.

Yn never was the best at social interaction, she could make people feel seen and heard and all the little things being a friend entails but she never truly cared about people in any meaningful way. But she had to come up with a way to make Soobin think she meant it, “a virgin like him probably cum at the lightest touch of a girl. Getting close to him shouldn’t be difficult” she thought to herself. Yn made it a point to herself to slowly sit close to Soobin during lectures and ask him for pencils once every blue moon as to not scare him, because there’d be plenty of time for that later. She was calculated in every move she made. She couldn’t deny the fact every move she made towards Soobin excited her. Getting to see his ears and face flush red , the way he’d nervously adjust his glasses. She couldn’t wait to rip this man to shreds.

After 2 weeks of slowly building up trust and familiarity, yn finally felt the time was perfect. She was going to touch him, nothing crazy she just needed to touch him. She walks into class that day making sure to wear her vanilla scented body oil, she remembers the way he reacted the first time she put it on . Awkwardly sliding a notebook onto his lap , he curled over his desk slightly not trying to make it obvious, breathing like he lost his breath somehow just by sitting there. That was the kind of memory that kept yn up at night putting her pillow underneath her and riding out the feeling. Just until the pressure went away however, never letting herself cum. she only wanted to finish to the real thing.

That day She sits directly next to him for the first time. Soobin nervously shifted in his seat. After the lecture finishes up and people start to grab their bags. She goes straight for the kill and swings her body towards him and grabs his hand as he writes in his notebook so he has no time to pull away. She spoke softly into his ear, her lips brushing against him every few words “soobin” his whole body tenses “come to my room tonight, 304 in the east building.” She smiles against his ear “I missed class yesterday sooo I wanted you to show me everything I missed … everything” she kitten licked his ear before pulling away making him hum in an attempt to muffle a moan do to the fact he was hard ever since he smelled the vanilla on her. “Also …don’t touch yourself before you get there” she smiles and grabs her bag , leaving Soobin there hard and speechless, walking out to prepare for her guest later that night.

Part1

-🌱

GAVGYUHJWKHSIUWJS???????? LIKE- I KNEW YOU HAD IDEAS- BUT LIKE- THIS- HWJBJXKN

IM GONNA READ PT 2 RN- BUT PLANT ANON, THIS IS FUCKING AMAZING-

[pokemonxhyperfixation]

Our Wonderful Headquarters!

"In Zooge, we elected to put our headquarters near the center of our Forest sector, with the building as it appears on our map, as well as an interior map pictured above.

Our HQ is not only where our Upper Managment work, but also where we live.

It only feels right to introduce the people who call this building home first!

First would be one Mrs. Hong Meiling, who formerly served as our head of security in our previous incarnation, but has since been moved to Head Zookeeper (which admittedly means her job hasn't really changed). She's in charge of training all our keeper staff, as well as testing how safe any given creature we house is for staff to be around. She might have one of the more dangerous jobs out of everyone in this Zoo!

Next is our new Head of Security Ms. Rei'sen! Her job is pretty simply to... deal with anyone who is causing problems, if you catch my drift. While she is rather young, she does have extensive military background (and a drinking problem to match), so she's more than qualified. Hell, she's already FRIED multiple... problems we've ran into with that ray gun she keeps in her room. (We've since told her to use a pistol she keeps on her person, as the ray gun doesn't leave usable remains).

ben.

Then there is our lovely Ms. Alice! She is the lady who co-founded Zooge (along side myself) after all! While I am more of a machinist, she focuses more on magic, something we have had to work with FAR more than one would think. We founded Zooge together out of a shared interest in the studies of the strange and wonderful creatures of this world of ours.

And of course last up is me! Your very own Dr. D Clownberg. I'm the man in charge! And the one who took on doing all the promotional material (because Gods know that the Tengu can't be trusted with that). I used to be something of a Monster Hunter (hense the Lich head I keep in my quarters), but my real goal has always been study of what I once called prey. Now, (with help of our generous benefactor) we can make this dream of mine a reality.

But that's enough on us, how's about we tour the building?

To guests, all they will see upon entering is the front door...

And the information desk, where one of us (usually Alice) will help with information. While everything past this room is staff only, we have collectively agreed that we'd show the rest of HQ as something of a transparency thing.

Once you enter, you likely first see our kitchen and dining area (as the table is right there), which has all the basics we need. We do not feel a need to live in luxury, just to be more than comfortable.

That is then followed by our general area, with seating and a table for us to hang around at. We also have a TV, which we don't use for it's intended purpose too terribly often. We have many books around (mostly in mine and Alice's rooms), so we mostly do alot of reading (except Rei'sen, We're still unsure if she is literate).

Next up is the basement, which only really has our Waystone and room for Ben to roam around. There is nothing else in the basement. You don't need to worry about the basement. You are not to go into the basement."

The section on the basement is whited out, and what's writen above is writen in it's place. There is also a clear tear in the pamphlet, and the next section is crudely re-attached to where something else once was.

"Next up is our more personal quarters. Each of the doors in this hallway leads to a room. The three on the right are Meiling, Alice and Rei'sen's room's specifically, and mine is the second on the left. We agreed to not cover our rooms aside from introducing ourselves. So that leaves the other two on the left.

First is the bathroom. I didn't go in to take this photo, but it's a bathroom. Pretty damn unassuming. We have a toilet, a tub, and a sink. The real only thing of note is that this is the only one we have in the building, which is a minor annoyance I guess.

no

And that is the Zooge HQ! EVERYTHING in the Zooge HQ! Any and all questions related to Zooge you have will be answered if you put them through the proper forum (our askbox), and one of us (probably me) will respond! That is all."

-Dr. D Clownberg, Zooge Owner.

So yeah! I'll use this to say that if y'all want to ask me Zooge related questions, I'll gladly answer, and try to answer in character! I'll also note that I'm both willing to drop the pack here if you want it, and I'll also state I am NOT posting these exhibits as they finish. HQ was the second thing I built (first was Peeker's Woods), and I do have an excess of exhibits to post! So yeah!

(I do wonder what's in those area's of HQ that were glossed over?)

[kemalamalam]

RULES: post 5 songs associated with your OCs and 4 outfits they'd wear

i saw @bhaalsdeepbat doing the tag game and i wanna make one too i hope you dont mind 👉👈

huehuehue this is Chevrotain, my durge bard

they got fucking wormed half way through the game and became hard to look at so i changed their hair then they look half-decent (not as good looking as the default but still)

im gonna be sorta infodumping about their lore bc im insane for them

1. Bloody! Bloody! - Junie & TheHutFriends

so in my canon Chevrotain isnt the dark urge like the origin character but another bhaalspawn, theyre still a bhaalspawn though so their gameplay is still a durge playthrough and this song is so accurate to durge's storyline?? like

Ain't it funny how I scare myself sometimes

..You take his hand quite literally..

..I probably shouldn't have said that..

They said, the lady in red / Bloody! Bloody!

Durge being literally shocked at kicking the squirrel involuntarily?? / the Gale incident / durge saying freakish shit most of the time / literally Orin

this song is my number one go to when i think of Chevrotain 😭

2. Abbey - Mitski

i mentioned that Chevrotain is a cannibal 🥺 its funny bc they dont have any sense of taste, they also have a huge identity crisis thanks to Bhaal whispering to them on their "role" and they whole "you were created bc blah blah blah"

I am hungry I have been hungry I was born hungry What do I need? I am something I have been something I was born something What could I be?

the theme i like to go with them is "starvation", like being starved of fatherly love from Bhaal, being starved of their own identity, being starved of their own mind, being starved of a home.. so this song fits into it SO PERFECTLY

3. Our Word - 36 Questions, Jessie Shelton

GAH this song is so cool from the coolest musical i know (i only know like 6 musicals 🙃), its literally a musical podcast?? so cool.

anyways Chevrotain is a bard right, they usually manipulate people with their words, a lot of deception and persuasion bonuses, so they are a very deceitful and as a result they are a very distrusting person.

the song is about a girl who was raised to be a compulsive liar - when she accidentally broke her dad's ship in a bottle - her mom told her to lie to get out of trouble and it worked, so she kept lying and lying and lying to get herself out of situations.

the song ends with a near death experience, but all she can think in her dying moments is how her parents are going to lie about her existence just to avoid the hassle of dealing with her death.

And it's our word Yes, our word It's our word Yes, our word Against theirs

the thing about Chevrotain is that they cannot trust easily - and what they fear the most is that theyd be tricked the same way theyve been tricking others - its a constant for them and this song embodies it perfectly (･ω･)b

4. Animal Cannibal - Possibly in Michigan, Karen Skladany

haha cannibal mention

iconic song tbh, this one isnt as intricately tied to Chevrotain's character quirks in my mind as the others and its more of their whole vibe and sthick

Who knows how some people turn to strange ones Is it up to me to make them into dead ones? (Here we go again) I bite at the hand that feeds me Slap at the face that eats me Some kind of animal cannibal (Animal? Cannibal)

the tricking people into thinking theyre an unassuming bard even though theyre an experienced necromancer

and that they rebel against Bhaal pretty aggressively (well, as aggressive as you can when youre going against your literal God father without being punished by death 💀) such as never calling Bhaal as "father" pre-amnesia

5. The Milk Carton - Madilyn Mei

have i ever mentioned here that Chevrotain fell into the Feywild when they were around 9?

they were following a grinning cat named 'Alice Alice van Malice' who later became their guardian because fucking Ethel spotted baby Tain, took them in bc she realize that a bhaalspawn would make a strong hagspawn, since Alice didnt want to be responsible for a horrific fate of a child he decided to keep watch of them 😭

so this song is more to baby Tain's perspective, that they are now living in a stinky swamp in the Feywild and sleeping on a cold slab of stone instead of the cozy foster home they were in before..

I think I really miss my bed Oh when, oh when will the nightmare end? I had it good, I had it good And yet I left and can't retrace my steps Think I forgot a couple things My brain is still at home (Stop telling me all about your problems)

..but hey, at least theyre not dead!

Outfits/Style

Chevrotain's style is called classy and youthful in the DnD universe and timeline, but in todays world we call it grandmacore ❤

ok well it has a prince-like flare to it, the embroidery would be all silver bc one thing about Chevrotain is that theyre good at commiting to the bit, also the clothes beinf airy, flowy and puffy is important bc they dont like their clothes being skin tight bc they get uncomfortable easy.

its all billowy blouse + black pants combo bc its a classic and i love it SO MUCH, i eat this combo all the time everytime

im too shy to tag anyone else for this akdnsjnd anyone who wants to join in from seeing this post.. please tag me in it bc im nosy and i want to see ur Tav/Durge :3

[eolewyn1010]

For the AU Ask Game: Super Hero AU for a fandom of your choice.

Belatedly! Five fun facts for a Super Hero AU of Tatort Stuttgart:

Nika literally can do a dozen things at once - without her ability to duplicate, the whole team would have collapsed long ago. And it's her choice to mainly use her powers to keep things running and organized; she has been part of the action a few times, but feels she's most effective at her office job. So if in this version Thorsten has one of his arrogant moments towards her as he sometimes had in the earlier episodes, he has to deal with the glares of several deeply implacable Nikas who know her value and are completely unwilling to defer to him.

Basti's and Julia's divorce happens way earlier and way more amicably. Having a husband that can ignore the laws of space to hunt criminals has been interesting, but it's also made the whole living-dangerously thing way more pressing, and with two children who may or may not yet turn out to be supers as well, Julia is too overtaxed to also start an affair on the side and simply tells Basti what's up: It's too much for her, this marriage thing doesn't work. She'd rather be a divorcee than a widow.

The former hasn't made Basti's and Thorsten's relationship a whole lot easier though. It's impossible to lie to Thorsten or even hide anything from him, which means Basti doesn't have any chance to disclose his feelings on his own time, and it's frankly frustrating. Basti is like: "Telepath etiquette, anyone??" And Thorsten is like: "We work together; it's a very good thing that I'm tuned to your thoughts! Why would you hide anything from me in the first place?" At which point Basti compares him to a surveillance state; it's a whole thing.

Thorsten's telepathy thing is also causing Frau Alvarez many problems - technically, a lot of intel Thorsten is privy to falls under unlawfully acquired information. So she gives him what for if the best he can offer is "I heard it in their thoughts". Thorsten and Basti sometimes quip that Alvarez also "has her ways" to acquire information, claiming she's able to supernaturally charm people into confessions, but the thing is: Alvarez is actually the Team Normal. Which most people on the outside don't know; they tend to think Nika's the normal one because, unless they do see several of her at once, she appears to be an unassuming jack-of-all-trades. The gorgeous, confident prosecutor who never loses a case, not a super? ...Yeah. She just is that cool.

Basti still crashes into a bit of a crisis via Maja's abduction, but 1st, the whole deal of Thorsten calling in the police when Basti asks him not to doesn't happen - it's the ultimate test of trust for them, and Thorsten does the complete opposite of canon in that he goes on one of his solo runs and tracks down Maja's kidnappers telepathically (and ends up as a hostage, pulling the plots of Preis des Lebens and Im gelobten Land into one). And 2nd, afterwards, it quickly becomes clear that substance abuse is really not an option if that means your portal-hopping goes haywire. So Basti actually has to deal with his shit. Granted, it's a bit easier when he's pissed at Thorsten not for betraying his trust, but just for getting himself into danger again. Business as usual, amirite?

If that sounds like I would use just about any excuse to kick canon events more into a shape I like? Yes. That's exactly what it is. I also think Thorsten angsting about how he's carrying the burden of the world is easy to justify when he can hear and feel all the world's thoughts around him.

[mx-mongoose]

Wanna see me overanalyze the Portal Musical Part 2

This is basically me going over how “I’m Alive” and portions of “Poor Unfortunate Subjects” give Caroline some sense of justice after all the shit she went through.  

If you want the part 1 of my analysis on the Portal 2 musical about the three corrupted cores, then here it is!

OKAY BEFORE WE START I FEEL THE NEED TO SAY- GOD WAS GLADOS AND ESPECIALLY CAROLINE SO GOOD IN THE MUSICAL.  She is so underrated and I mean that with my whole heart.  The clothes designs, the actoress playing completely opposite characters and absolutely crushing both of them (Fuck you, the actoress is amazing and did her best with a monotone yet also emotional robot, her singing is also fantastic) and JUST AH- I LOVE HER

anyway

Before Glados, there was Caroline.  She was basically the braincell of Aperture all things considered.  She was the backbone and heart of Aperture, making sure everything ran efficiently and was Cave’s logical anchor.  While she was peppy and unassuming, in the 2021 Musical Reunion it was stated she was also very complicit in Aperture’s more dangerous and morally ambiguous actions.   So she’s definitely not the oblivious dainty pretty assistant stereotype that many in universe and in reality percieve her to be.  There’s a reason why she’s Cave Johnson’s assistant and why he wanted her to be CEO of Aperture after he died.  (I mean in “Trouble in Black Mesa” she is literally seen threatening a random woman with a portal gun over Cave)

She also has a backbone for herself as well!  Standing up for herself on numerous occasions, even against Cave himself, because she knows her worth and knows how she should be treated.  

So after the whole Rick fiasco, you could tell she’s sick of constantly being undermined and demeaned by her male coworkers and why she was already done with Cave the moment she stepped through the door.  Him going on about how important she is to the company, even though the company rarely shows gratitude for that importance and all she does.  Cave interuppting her whenever she spoke up was definitely the nail in the coffin before the “I need you!”. More nails are hammered in with the fact Cave literally GROPED CAROLINE’S THIGH AND IS SOMETIMES SHOWN TO TREAT HER LIKE AN OBJECT THROUGH THE SCENE (through snippets of dialogue and choreography).  Good forshadowing for her becoming Glados against her will and Cave’s betrayal.  But ugh.... I just feel horrible for her.  She was in love with Cave because he was the only one who gave her any damn respect but by the end he just treated Caroline just as bad if not worse then her coworkers.  

Even if its not forshadowing and is literally the reveal, the- “Please listen to me, sir, I don’t want this,” and Cave just refusing Caroline’s own autonomy, it’s just... ugh.  Great metaphor for toxic relationships but just... ugh.  

(I need to make a whole new post about Cave in the future cuz he is... Certainly somebody)

Caroline is the purest example of a victim of toxic relationships and abuse, especially regarding people who are woman identifying and presenting.  The only person she thought she could trust and love, stabbed her in the back and killed her.  

Now we have present day Glados and while she doesn’t have memory of being Caroline, when you rewatch “I’m Alive” and “Poor Unfortunate Subjects”, even though it’s the very beginning you feel a sense of vengeful justice for Caroline.  

In “I’m Alive”, she’s shown to have a physical “Force-Like” control over Chell, Wheatley and the corrupted cores.  Having them being stripped of their autonomy so they can bow down to her, worship her, treat her as the important badass figure she always was.  Of course, this is probably a metaphor for the repeating cycle of abuse but the other thing is the people she inflicting this control on in narative 

Chell, somebody who killed her and destroyed the facility

Wheatley, somebody who would later take over the chassis/the facility and shove her into a potato

Rick, somebody from when she was Caroline, being one of the coworkers who would hit on her and infantilize/demean her.

Fact, being one of the scientists who dragged her to be hooked up to Glados

Then Space, who arguably did nothing to her, but also doing nothing and being a witness is also a very shitty thing to do to someone since he was there when Rick was hitting on her. 

These are all people who have or she considered to have wronged her in the narrative.  So her rising from literal ashes and doing the musical equivalent of “DO NOT FUCK WITH ME” has me cheering for her throughout this scene.

In Poor Unfortunate Subjects, the way she has the corrupted cores act as her henchmen and them *specifically* being scared shitless of her is just *chefs kiss* karmic justice even though no-one remembers anything.  Also the “TEST US GLADOS PLEASE” is hilarious and also very satisfying seeing how they treated Caroline before they were shoved into computers.

SO YEAH- Glados and Caroline are amazing and deserved so much better and i’m glad she can finally do science in peace without anymore bullshit

[autisticempathydaemon]

in a sky full of stars (I think I see you)

Chapter One: Le hors-d'œuvre

tags: Lasko/OC, nb!empathy daemon OC who uses they/them pronouns, background Freelancer/Gavin, mentions of disordered eating and unhealthy relationship dynamics in later chapters

It's the classic story of boy meets girl... except "girl" is more of a genderless being of pure empathy magic and "boy" is the sweet air elemental professor who literally doesn't know they exist.

There is a curated playlist for this fic for your listening pleasure!

Also available to read on AO3 Next chapter ->

For the longest time, Bee’s absolute favorite thing on Elegy was its food.

Sure, as an empathy daemon, Bee loves and depends on the people, the things they feel. Happiness and light and positivity are Bee’s bread and butter, so to speak; they don’t need human food to live.

Joy just doesn’t linger on the tongue like the savory saltiness of aged cheese. Giddiness doesn’t pucker the mouth in sour glee like a Meyer lemon. Even contentment doesn’t warm the body quite like fresh hot chocolate. If Bee is sustained by meals of optimism and pride and kindness, they live for the gorgeous things mortals make as dessert.

Excitement followed by freshly-picked strawberries. Happiness and then lavender tea. Wonder with a chaser of vanilla milkshakes. It’s a pleasant way to spend an immortal life.

One remarkable day in an unremarkable eternity, this day, Bee learns there’s more to life than “pleasant.” 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

‘Iced, Lizzie- that drink is supposed to be iced,’ Bee says in a subliminal whisper. The redheaded barista stops and looks down at her hands. ‘Cold. You grabbed the wrong cup.’ With a blink and a little shake of the head, Lizzie puts down the ceramic mug and reaches for a glass.  

‘Right, right, cold. Get your head in the game, she thinks violently, glaring down at the espresso machine as if it was at fault for her mistake. Hovering in the air next to her, Bee can sense that isn’t true, can taste her bitter, acrid headache like coffee beans roasted in a volcano. With faith, trust, pixie dust, and a smidgen of healing magic, Bee takes away her pain and savors the honeyed, mellow relief she radiates instead. 

“One double shot Americano for Lasko!” she calls out, stepping aside to the pick up counter. “Sorry, that was supposed to be over ice, right?” Distracted by a service dog and its flavorless delight, Bee is all the more struck breathless when they get a taste of ambrosial, cotton candy contentment.

“Th- that’s right, thank you!” The raven-haired boy- man? Angel? Gift from Min’Ara?- says with a stutter and a smile that spreads across rosy, freckled cheeks. When he takes a sip of his drink, humming happily, his bliss drowns their senses in a flood of delicious, indescribable sensation. Bee thinks they taste cloying honey, fragrant pandan, rich chocolate, and heady liquor whipped together into a singular dish. It’s an overstimulating, overwhelming rush that has the empathy daemon figuratively and literally spinning. 

Lasko’s emotions sated them like a god’s banquet, could keep them fed for a fortnight, and he hasn’t even moved. When the man heads back toward his table, that jolt of joy settled into muted comfort, Bee can’t help but follow, drifting towards him like he is the sun and they are the earth, like he’s the moon and they’re the obedient tides. 

Sat down behind a laptop and a bevy of papers, dressed in scholarly browns and whites, Lasko Moore is unassuming, nondescript, and somehow wondrously, enchantingly beautiful. He’s a wallflower, and Bee has never felt more like their namesake- bewitched, blushing, bumbling- as they take their place in the seat across from him.

Author's Note: Please enjoy my first foray into a longer form, chaptered fic for RedactedAudio! Bee has been in the works for months (hence the url), and I just really wanted to give Lasko a partner goshdangit

Loving mention for @romirola who was lovely and sweet and darling enough to give Bee a cameo in her masterpiece, Packed with Love, which you should check out if you would like to see more of them or would like to read something magnificent~

[collapseqz]

[ GRETA ONIEOGOU ] – have you heard about [ ANTONIA “TONI” PALMER ] ? [ SHE/HER ] lives at the qz. I think they’ve lived there for [ THREE YEARS ]. they’re [ THIRTY ] yrs old and seem very [ INDEPENDENT ]. i’ve also heard they can be very [ CALLOUS ] as well. they’ve been assigned as a [ BOUNTY HUNTER ]. they often daydream about [ WATCHING THE THUNDERSTORMS ROLL IN ]. i’m curious to know more. | cory. central. she/her.

I toni musings I toni in pictures I

toni at a glance 

The sour patch slogan - first theyre sour then they’re sweet ? yup that’s toni

Looks super sweet and unassuming and that’s exactly what she wants people to think

She subscribes to my favorite belief: fuck around and find out LMAOO

Character inspo: olivia pope (scandal), jessica jones (jessica jones), valkyrie (mcu), okoye (black panther), black widow (mcu)

her job: bounty hunter

It’s not that she manipulates people on purpose but if the shoe fits she’d definitely be wearing it 

Very alluring and hypnotizing with the way she speaks, the way she moves, can charm her way out of just about anything (just LOOK AT HER GAHLEEE)

been here for threeish years, previously came from another qz that was overun (shoutout pitts!!!)

I’m not saying she could stab you in the back but i wouldn’t leave any knives around her idk that’s just what the streets said

I feel like her theme song is mt everest by labyrinth because ‘don’t need nobody to save me”?? Hello!! Her independent, non-people trusting ass felt that in her BONES!

I know i said she had a kid but i lied several times but she WANTS a kid (do you hear that gentlemen?? START UR ENGINES)

Romantically / sexually into it ALL, she likes everyone and everything at anytime 

She lost her boyfriend a few years ago before she got to the qz, she had to watch him die and she couldn’t do anything to stop it so that has made her SUPER jaded and have about 10 feet of cement up in front of that heart so if she likes you fr she’ll push you away real QUICK (that’s how you know she likes you)

Spends a lot of time at the farm/barn area that’s her thinking spot

wanted connections

i want them ALL whatever ones you’ve been waiting to do I WANT THEM

but specifically exes (angsty or angsty)

hook ups/flings/one night stands you NAME it

enemies

best friend(s)

fellow firefly spy friends ?? if ur character is a firefly we need to TALK!!

friends BEFORE the qz

partner(s) in crime

good influence (she needs it BAD)

also if ur character is fedra….lets DISCUSS

literally anything else we could think of she’d be down for

[magaprima]

Okay, so the outfits from the fashion meme post. I did plan to put the detailed reasons and thoughts all in one post, but I’ve quickly realised my thoughts are too many so I’ll do one post per outfit.

Outfit Four: The Black Leather Trench

Okay, so I'm pretty sure it's implied there is nothing else under this coat in this scene, which is pretty fucking daring considering at this point Lilith is still pretending to be a school teacher. A school teacher who happens to be a centuries old witch, sure, but still a school teacher, who has lived and worked amongst mortals, and loved a mortal etc...and here she is, just leading a little field trip in nothing but a black leather trench. Or a very revealing mini-dress underneath. Either way, this is daring as far Wardwell-era wardrobe goes, and it's interesting that it's in the first episode where Lilith is now fully established as 'friendly neighbourhood witch mentor' in Sabrina's life. She's able to look a little less unassuming school teacher now, and embrace her witchy appearance and aesthetic a bit more.

This outfit just always stands out as being key Lilith aesthetic because it's black, it's beautifully cut, it's fitted with a belt cinching in at the waist, it's a power coat, and it's one she wears a lot of times throughout the series. Often with more clothes underneath, but it is worn a lot. It's a key part of Lilith's wardrobe and it tends to be worn when she's doing something powerful or she's making a power play (such as in the example scene I used above where she's teaching young witches that High Priests can't always be trusted to be doing what they should).

If you see Lilith in this coat, you can trust that at some point in the scene, or at least within the episode, she's going to be something very HBIC (we don't see that acronym much anymore and I wish to bring it back). And it is also absolutely gorgeous; the material is soft and supple, it clings but in a way that is powerful-sexy rather than revealing-sexy (key distinction, especially when talking about Lilith, as powerful sexy has strength, revealing sexy has vulnerability which isn't something she's ever keen on having), and the way it's tailored and the perfect cinch of the belt...it just screams Lilith aesthetic whether she's wearing it over her trademark red dress or over...I don't know...just underwear? This outfit was so suggestive of nothingness in this episode, especially when wearing her boots because there were no tights, socks, anything.

Which, I suppose, if we're getting film analysis-y, and scene study-y, then it could signify that this coat is literally pure Lilith. I'd definitely make that point if I had to do an A-Level essay on it.

[ameliejones]

9.

harly wasn’t one to judge a person based on what was said about them -

she offered everyone the same opportunity to show her who they were, and decided for herself -

most people treated eamon like he was dangerous or crazy, or just not very smart -

but that’s not what she saw at all -

he was quiet, observant, picked up on things that others didn’t catch -

he seemed to miss obvious social queues.. except she wasn’t so sure that was the case -

it wasn’t that he didn’t know he was supposed to feign interest when someone was telling a boring story, or make small talk to fill an uncomfortable silence, it was that he didn’t want to ; he didn’t feel obligated to answer to those things, so he didn’t -

he seemed to exist just outside the social construct.. to operate on a different frequency than everyone else -

he could be violent, that was true - but not unpredictably - and never unprovoked -

he was actually very considerate of the people who treated him well -

and the opposite was true of anyone stupid enough to fuck with those people -

loyalty - that was the second thing that connected them -

they both came from places where trust was the most valuable thing you had -

it was a long while before he really let her in, and he still has his secrets, but eamon is the best investment she has ever made -

and this is out of character for him, in a way that she's scrambling to get her head around - still, watching him peel back the foil on his breakfast like he’s done a thousand times, the idea had occurred to her - and now the truth of it is literally staring her in the face -

on a personal level she’d liked syn immediately ; the decision to take her on as a passenger was not unanimous, and harly was the swing vote -

while the same could not be said for ash and the captain, the fact that syn is an *eX8 had little influence on harly - she looked her in the eyes and thought it through, and her gut said yes - and that was the end of it -

the last few weeks have only reinforced the fact that she made the right call -

by all accounts syn is smart, capable, unassuming but decisive - definitely unusual.. but in an interesting way -

good for you, bro - a gleam of pride warms her insides, but she puts that away for now and takes a sober look at the woman in front of her -

eamon does things in his own time - but harly’s been back for over a week, and the fact that he hasn’t told her anything yet means he really has something to say about this -

the tacit interaction that follows is heartfelt, and consequential -

syn watches as harly gets hold of the situation - she’s astute and highly empathic, it doesn’t take long -

she watches her drop her guard and let her fierce protectiveness rise to the surface - questioning - challenging -

syn answers by revealing her uncertainty, admitting her fallibility -

then expressing the integrity of her intentions - an understanding is reached -

she sees the shimmer in harly’s eyes as the swell of emotion blurs her own vision -

it’s nothing either of them expected, but both are grateful for the exchange -

as eamon scrapes the last of the greyish goo out of the plastic container, it’s over - like it never happened -

Cute jacket.

harly says quietly, reverentially, as a means of acknowledgement -

appreciative of the gesture syn responds, with a sincere tone and deferential smile -

I really like your hair.

_______________________________

*eX8 [slang meaning eXtrasensate : a category of people born with extra-sensory perception

[forgedqzs]

[ GRETA ONIEOGOU ] – have you heard about [ ANTONIA ‘TONI’ PALMER ]? [ SHE/HER ] lives at the qz. I think they’ve lived there for [ SEVEN YEARS ]. they’re [ THIRTY ] yrs old and seem very [ INDEPENDENT ]. i’ve also heard they can be very [ JEALOUS ] as well. they’ve been assigned as a [ FIREFLY SPY ]. they often daydream about [ JUMPING FENCES AND THUNDERSTORMS ]. i’m curious to know more. | cory. Central. she/her 

toni at a glance 

The sour patch slogan - first theyre sour then they’re sweet ? yup that’s toni

Looks super sweet and unassuming and that’s exactly what she wants people to think

She subscribes to my favorite belief: fuck around and find out LMAOO

Character inspo: olivia pope (scandal), jessica jones (jessica jones), valkyrie (mcu), okoye (black panther), black widow (mcu)

her job: firefly spy

Her cover job is: a trainer (so fitting she’s so sexy for that)

It’s not that she manipulates people on purpose but if the shoe fits she’d definitely be wearing it 

Very alluring and hypnotizing with the way she speaks, the way she moves, can charm her way out of just about anything (just LOOK AT HER GAHLEEE)

Been in the qz for about sevenish years, so would be pretty well known to those who have been around for a minute (she gotta get that firefly information so shes gotten real chummy)

I’m not saying she could stab you in the back but i wouldn’t leave any knives around her idk that’s just what the streets said

I feel like her theme song is mt everest by labyrinth because ‘don’t need nobody to save me”?? Hello!! Her independent, non-people trusting ass felt that in her BONES!

I know i said she had a kid but i lied several times but she WANTS a kid (do you hear that gentlemen?? START UR ENGINES)

Romantically / sexually into it ALL, she likes everyone and everything at anytime 

She lost her boyfriend a few years ago before she got to the qz, she had to watch him die and she couldn’t do anything to stop it so that has made her SUPER jaded and have about 10 feet of cement up in front of that heart so if she likes you fr she’ll push you away real QUICK (that’s how you know she likes you)

Spends a lot of time at the farm/barn area that's her thinking spot

wanted connections

i want them ALL whatever ones you've been waiting to do I WANT THEM

but specifically exes (angsty or angsty)

hook ups/flings/one night stands you NAME it

enemies

best friend(s)

fellow firefly spy friends ?? if ur character is a firefly we need to TALK!!

friends BEFORE the qz

partner(s) in crime

good influence (she needs it BAD)

also if ur character is fedra....lets DISCUSS

literally anything else we could think of she'd be down for

[starlit-clouds]

Hello writers!!!

It has come to my attention that many of you are making grave mistakes in writing. And when I say grave, I mean the absolute gravest of grave mistakes.

And that mistake is:

I see so! Many! Common! Words! Being! Used!

But don’t worry! I have some advice on how you might be accidentally using them and some words you can use to replace them!

Let’s start simple, shall we, with the word: The. Now the is an unassuming word. It’s often overlooked. It’s often very overused. Did you know that the makes up about 7% of all printed words? Think of all the other words that could be used! And did you see that? I just used the word the. Even I am using it, even when I know what to look for, so don’t feel too bad if you find yourself accidentally using it as well! Now let’s get to the words that you can use to replace it to help spice up your writing!

Instead of using the, try using: a certain, specific, important, or maybe even all three! (For example, instead of saying the banana sat on the pedestal, instead say a certain specific banana sat on an important pedestal. Wow! Look at that! That second sentence has such a higher word count! Using this method, you’re sure to reach that 1,000 word go— I mean. Using this method could help you spice up your writing by not using such a boring word.)

Pronouns— we all have a problem with this. Pronouns make it so hard to know who is who and what belongs to what. So solve this problem by not using them at all! Instead of using pronouns, instead use the name of your character! (Ex: Bob grabbed the chair with his hand and sat down in his spot —> Bob grabbed a specific chair with Bob’s hand and sat down in Bob’s spot. Look at how much clearer everything is! Wasn’t that first sentence just so confusing? But by just changing any pronouns to Bob’s name, everything just flows so much more smoothly.)

What— ahh, what. The word used to convey confusion. Too bad everyone is so confused on how much they are overusing it. Since it is used to show confusion, instead of using what, just have whatever you write be completely wrong :). As it will be wrong, it will clearly show confusion over the topic. (Ex: Ava stared at the stray cat her friend had brought into the house. “What is this?” —> Ava stared at a certain stray cat Ava’s friends had brought into a specific house. “Is that a dog?” Look! In both, you can clearly see that Ava is confused! And I’m sure that Ava’s confusion absolutely is directed at the same things in both sentences. They both absolutely have the same meaning. Except that one is clearly using a superior word than the other.)

And— now as am sure we’re all aware and could all quote off the top of our head, and is the word used to connect words of the same part of speech, clauses, or sentences, that are to be taken jointly (definitely didn’t copy and paste from google, haha. I know this off the top of my head like I’m sure you all do as well… right?). Anyways… and is used all. The. Time. Literally all the time. So imma be honest here, there’s not really one word that can replace and, but there are a lot of phrases that can! So instead of using and, use together with, along with, as well as, in addition to, what’s more. Also, you can use these all in the same contexts :D! You can trust me! (Ex: Steve would need his knife, the tarp, bleach, and an alibi —> Steve would need Steve’s knife, an important tarp, bleach, what’s more an alibi. Or Oliver needed to get away from Steve and when he said that, he meant he needed to get away now —> Oliver needed to get away from Steve together with when Oliver said that, Oliver meant Oliver needed to get away now. Look at how much of a difference replacing a specific word and can have :). Using this tip will surely make your writing stand out from the rest :). In a very good way.)

(Disclaimer: I am not responsible for any writers using these tricks who may or may not be harmed by editors reading their stories. Any writer using these tricks listed above are doing so of their own free will and are thus fully responsible for whatever potential bodily harm may potentially befall them.)

(Stated again to be made clearer: any writers doing this are doing so of their own free will. I do not have access to their google docs (or other writing programs). I do not have access to their emails. I do not have access to their addresses. I am not in their homes. I am not in their rooms. I am not behind them. I am not watching them type. I am not watching them write. I am not under any circumstances forcing them to use my tips :). I am simply providing them because I wish to help.)