#i love all these different tag games tumblr's made though! talking about my favourite little guys is one of my favourite things! 😍

[aintgonnatakethis]

characters through quotes

Thank you @fortunatetragedy for the tag! 😊

My prompt: a quote about ideals

Telford: "The ends justify the means. It's my job to get my hands dirty and do the hard thing so others who aren't capable of it won't be called on and fail. It doesn't matter whether I can look at myself in the mirror at the end of the day - the only important thing is reaching the goal I have set for myself. My feelings aren't important."

Young: "I want to be a good man, someone younger men can look up to, someone I can be proud of, someone who doesn't struggle with the difficult decisions. I'd know what the right thing to do is because I'd be a good person."

Rush: "Ideals are a waste of time. Success is the only thing you should be focusing on."

Your prompt: a quote about justification

No pressure tagging: @frostysfrenzy @adriankyte-writes @bagheerita @etoilesombre @ashirisu + open to anyone else who wants a go!

[spursdontplaybasketball]

Talk Hockey to Me

tagged by @giirlinterrupted 🤍💙

Tell me about:

1. The thing that got you hooked on hockey

I grew up in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania, about an hour south of Hershey, PA. My dad grew up going to watch the Hershey Bears play minor league hockey in the American Hockey League, and he continued the tradition with me (and my sister sometimes.) At first, I only really liked to go to the games for an opportunity to spend time with my dad, which was rare sometimes, but in middle school I somehow ended up being really good at floor hockey when we played it in gym class. One day I managed to score a hat trick, even though I was terrible at every other sport. (I also had a crush on one of the players on my school's hockey team at that point.) So I just kinda thought hockey was fun at that point and started enjoying the actual games more. Then I picked a favorite player from the Bears independently for the first time, and it was Mike Green. I didn't know much about him, just thought he was cool. He turned out to be really good, and when he got called up to the NHL to play for the Capitals, I started watching the Caps games on TV. (I was also lucky that we got the sports channel from Washington DC, despite not being all that close to there.)

2. Your first ever fandom friend

I'm not too established in the hockey fandom on here. I have a personal blog that I rarely use anymore that I used to post occasional Caps stuff on and follow a few Capitals people, but that's on a different account that I rarely use. I know hockey has become a lot more popular on footieblr over the years. I remember a few years back when it was more unusual for these fandoms to overlap that I sent a message or two to people who were in both fandoms that I thought it was cool that they liked both sports like I do. Basically my only hockey friend on here is @giirlinterrupted (and I'm so grateful that she doesn't put Sidney Crosby on my dash like so many other footieblr hockey fans seem to do.) IRL I have been surrounded by hockey fans most of my life though, because it's pretty big in my state in general, so the main time I felt a little more alone on that was the 2 1/2 years I was living in San Francisco. Unfortunately I am currently surrounded by Penguins fans :( as I am living in Pittsburgh. My IRL best friend is also into hockey, but she is a Sabres fan since she is from Buffalo and now lives in Rochester, NY.

3. The jersey you would most like to own

I wish I had an old Mike Green or Jay Beagle Caps jersey. Mike Green is now retired, and Jay Beagle, I don't even know.

4. YOUR player (you only get ONE so choose wisely)

I still have an unhealthy attachment to Jay Beagle even though he's been off the Caps for years. None of the current players can live up to that.

5. A pairing that deserves more fic

Don't really read fic much, but Ovi/Backstrom (I'm so out of the loop that I don't even know if they have a ship name) are adorable together, and idk how popular they are, at least outside of Caps fans.

6. Your favourite on-ice moment

6/7/18. What else? I still cry when I think about it sometimes, and I can barely listen to "I Will Wait" by Mumford and Sons without crying due to that "Worth the Wait" video the Caps put out on social media after the Cup win.

link someone else's art/fic/etc that you love & think everyone should check out

He's here on Tumblr (@mxgicdave) but I could only find my favorite pic of his on Twitter:

link something you made & are proud of & want people to see

Got nothing. I tried to write a few things about hockey in the past, but not since I was like 13. I was writing a story about a minor league hockey player whose playing got impacted by past trauma. Didn't get very far, then I was also trying to write a murder mystery featuring the Capitals, and I got even less far with that.

no pressure tagging:

I have no one to tag! :(

[headoverheelsforramsey]

Hello, hello! This week, we are going on a little:

Home Tour!

Notes: Answer the following with pictures (dialogue from your characters is optional!). Collages are highly encouraged if you want to answer a question with multiple pictures because tumblr mobile only allows 10 total pics. Otherwise, tumblr on a desktop lets you add multiple pictures (non-beta)!

For both:

What does the outside of the home look like? (Front/back yard, garden, pool, etc)

Living room and home office (if any)?

Kitchen and dining room?

Bedrooms? (Master, guest, others)

Other rooms?

Do you own your dream home? If not, what does that dream home look like?

What is your favorite room to spend time in with each other?

Super super late to this, because of my stupid exam but now we are here so let's go! 💃🏽🏠

A/N : I am placing this two years and seven months after the wedding, because I HC Ethan and Meera staying at Ethan's apartment for two years after the wedding and they only start house hunting when they have the baby talk and start trying for a baby. So technically not newlyweds anymore. Now let's get started! ✨

Meera opens the door and greets Bree.

Meera : Hii Bree, welcome to our humble abode.

Bree (chuckles) : This place is anything but humble. I hope I am not causing much trouble.

Meera : Absolutely not. Who else is going to make me feel like a youtuber?

Both laugh, Ethan joins and greets Bree.

Bree : Congratulations on the good news Dr. Ramsey. How far are y'all?

Ethan : Thank you Bree. It's been 3 months already.

Meera (cradling her small bump) : Yup one trimester down two more to go.

Ethan (kissing her forehead) : And then there will be a mini version of you running around these halls.

Meera : Nope it's gonna be a mini you.

The couple shares a look as if challenging each other.

Meera : Fine, Bree, whose team are you on? Do you think it'll be a boy or a girl?

Bree : I am happy with either because at the end I'll be interviewing him or her too.

The three of them share a laugh.

Bree : Let's get started, shall we?

Ethan : Sure.

What does the outside of the home look like? (Front/back yard, garden, pool, etc)

Front :

Meera : We were looking for something modern yet chic, something that is totally us. I fell in love with the design whereas Ethan was in total awe of the open space and glass doors. Needless to say our heart was stuck on this no matter how many more houses we visited.

Backyard :

Ethan : The backyard also doubles up as the garden but it's not quite completed yet.

Meera : Yes it's been two months since we moved, and we haven't been able to work on the garden because of work and the pregnancy. Ethan : But we want to build a garden with a tree house and maybe some swings.

Meera (too excited) : Ohh swings! Yes please add it onto the list. Why didn't I think of it before?

Pool :

Meera : Definitely my favorite part!

Ethan : She is a water baby through and through so that's no surprise.

Meera : Don't act like you don't appreciate me in a swimsuit, Ramsey (winks)

Ethan : There is no denying that.

Living room and home office (if any)?

Living room :

Ethan : Meera was hell bent on having an L-shaped couch.

Meera : Those things are so bougie I had to have one because now I can finally afford one. But yeah the living room is so relaxing with a beautiful view of the outside.

Home office :

Meera : Honestly speaking, I do not understand the utility of a home office, I didn't understand back at his apartment neither do I understand now. If I am supposed to work from home I can do that on the couch or on my bed or even better on the daybeds by the pool.

Ethan (shaking his head) : You'll get it darling. When you start your maternity leave I'll see how you make zoom calls with the pool as your background.

Meera shrugs.

Kitchen and dining room?

Meera : This part was all Ethan so I'll let him do the talking.

Ethan (proudly) : A Poggenpohl kitchen with a granite-topped island adds an ultramodern touch. Glass shelves display colorful glassware convenient to the wet bar. A translucent sliding glass door below the shelves hides the more utilitarian gadgets. And finally playful mod pendant lights seem to levitate over the dining table, which is meant to resemble a river running through the woods.

Meera : You sure you didn't miss your true calling as an interior designer babe?

Ethan (smirks) : Nope, just the fact that I tend to excel at everything I do, Rookie.

Meera : And that makes you 10 times hotter!

Bedrooms? (Master, guest, others)

Master bedroom :

Meera : The bedroom has a different color scheme and tone from the rest of the house because I wanted it to stand out and break the monotone.

Ethan : Again the chandelier was Meera's opinion.

Meera : Finding common ground between his minimalistic taste and mine was difficult but we made it through.

Master Bathroom :

Ethan : Meera I don't think it was necessary to bring Bree in here.

Meera : It was absolutely necessary! Just look at this tub Bree! The bubbles and champagne dates we have here are a total hit.

Guest rooms :

Ethan : We have two guest rooms and both are styled the same way, but unfortunately we haven't had any guests yet. 

Meera : Is it unfortunate Dr. Ramsey? Bryce is just a call away from crashing here. 

Ethan (pinching the bridge of his nose) : Anyone but Lahela.

Meera : We haven't thought about the baby's room yet. But we have the nursery now. 

Ethan : Yes, maybe we'll turn the nursery into a bedroom or one of the guest rooms in a few years. Let's see.

Nursery : 

Meera : This was completed just yesterday hence the delay in the interview, Bree. 

Ethan : We decided to keep the gender of the baby a surprise so we went with a gender neutral nursery that matches the colour scheme of the house. 

Meera : Also because Ethan Ramsey would rather die than paint the walls of his house pink and blue. 

Ethan (rolls eyes) 

Other rooms?

Home library :

Meera (takes in the smell of books) : Better known as my safe haven. 

Ethan : This was absolutely non-negotiable for Meera. 

Meera : We both own a lot of books and the collection keeps on increasing now with the baby incoming. And look at this reading space. It's from my dreams. 

Ethan : This is tucked away in a far corner of the house and is the most serene place around here. Once, I returned home from the hospital and called out to Meera a hundred times, she didn't answer, I started panicking and then found her silently sitting here in her own world. 

Meera : If I ever go missing please check here before running to the police, because once I am in here I forget the existence of the world.

Bree picks up "Peppa pig's super noisy Sound Book" which was kept on a thick medical journal with a smile. 

Ethan feels embarrassed but Meera laughs. 

Meera : Yes these are the new ones in our collection. Ethan was reading it to the baby before you arrived. 

Home Bar : 

Ethan : The wine cellar grew into a home mini bar because we had this unused space left. 

Meera : He loves showing this and his collection off. 

Ethan : Excuse me! If I remember correctly your friends were very impressed as well. 

Meera : True that. Bryce went bat shit crazy during the housewarming party. He said he felt he got back his bartending days.

Ethan (proudly) : And Jackie's exact words for that evening's toast was "to hell with Donahue's" 

Meera : Yeah yeah, you did a great job honey. Also the more surfaces the better for us. 

Ethan : Keep it PG for the love of God. 

Meera (shrugs) : Pregnancy hormones. 

Bree (points) : And that? 

Ethan (facepalms) : The only thing that doesn't match with the vibe here.

Meera : Nonsense! It was a housewarming gift from my friends and I absolutely love it. Ethan just feels it is a cheaper and juvenile version of his favourite game, soccer. But don't worry Bree, I'll get him to play someday. 

Ethan (smirk) : I would very much like to see you try Dr. Ramsey-Bose.

Meera : And I'll see how you say no when your son asks. 

Ethan : It's gonna be a daughter. 

Meera : We'll see. 

Do you own your dream home? If not, what does that dream home look like?

Ethan : For the majority of my life home for me was a structure of bricks and cement with a ceiling but Meera was the one who brought all the love and light and showed me what a real home felt like. So for me, my home is where my heart is and for this lifetime it's kept safe with this gorgeous woman whom I fortunately call my wife. 

Silence lasts for a couple of minutes then Meera snorts. 

Meera (drying her eye) : Damn you pregnancy hormones, I am not even wearing waterproof mascara. It was super cheesy Ethan, a non pregnant me would have definitely called you out on your cheese but this pregnant Meera has to agree with you. Even a stable is my dream home if I have my dream husband with me. (she kisses Ethan) but I wouldn't mind a Jacuzzi, a home theatre, a game room (laughing)

Ethan (an easy smile on his face) : Always knew you were in it because of the money Bose. 

What is your favorite room to spend time in with each other?

Meera : The library. Just him reading to our unborn child like he isn't already the most perfect man in the world. 

Ethan (a very satisfied smile on his face) : First I am very surprised that you kept it PG. So the obvious answer is the bedroom but other than that, the patio, which is not a room though.

Ethan : Meera has a slight deficiency in vitamin D so to avoid complications, we spend a lot of time here in the sun. We play board games, read and even discuss work here sometimes.  

Meera : Ooh yes! This was another great investment and a great way to utilise the humongous outdoor space we have.  

Ethan : I hope you had fun Bree. Thank you so much for doing this. 

A quick shoutout to @a-crepusculo and @jamespotterthefirst who came to my rescue when  I couldn't add more than 10 pics. Also thank you Bree for doing this you are a star and an angel. 💜

Tagging my usual : @starrystarrytrouble @mm2305 @charisworld @choicesfanaf @potionsprefect @genevievemd  @shanzay44 @little-flowers-on-heaven @schnitzelbutterfingers  @coffeeheartaddict  @gryffindordaughterofathena @chemist-ana @adiehardfan @custaroonie @ireneadlerisseggsy @takemyopenheart @natureblooms24 @mainstreetreader @izzyourresidentlawyer @a-crepusculo @quixoticdreamer16 @starryeyedrookie @barbean

+ @openheartfanfics

Please let me know if you want to be added or removed. And if you want to sit out only the answers to the ask games hit me up too. There won't be any hard feelings. I promise. 💜

[karasunology]

⸙ ˚₊ ➷ THE MIYA TWINS & BOKUTO KOUTARO AS YOUR OLDER BROTHERS ! ❞

╰─ ─ ﾟheadcanons of the best twins & ace of my heart being your older brothers.

✐ . . . BIG BROTHER HEADCANONS.

[ OIKAWA TOORU & KAGEYAMA TOBIO VERSION. ] [ SUNA RINTAROU & KITA SHINSUKE VERSION. ]

-ˏˋ ➶ character(s) ━ bokuto koutaro, miya atsumu & miya osamu <3

[ trigger warnings ━ slight manga spoilers !! ]

-ˏˋ ✉️ REQUESTS ARE ALWAYS OPEN.

⇣ please read the RULES before requesting.

MIYA TWINS.

➜ oh my goodness, i pray so hard and dearly for your parents because y'all are WILD WILD

➜ when you guys were young, you know those videos of twins confusing their baby on who's their parent??

➜ yeah THESE TWO TRIED IT WITH YOU

➜ it was probably atsumu's dumb idea

➜ he watched it a few days ago in youtube

➜ so he suggested it to osamu which begrudgingly accepted, curious on how you would react

“ c'mon, come to big brother 'samu ”

➜ atsumu says as he stretches his arms out to you while you're oblivious poor innocent ass was doing the grabby hands to him

➜ ngl you looked so cute he felt a little guilty for what's to come

➜ while osamu sits next to him with a monotonous expression

“ no, i'm big brother 'samu ”

➜ your head spun to his direction

➜ and you're just like 👁👄👁

➜ while switching left and right in confusion as you dropped your arms down so fucking fast LMAO

➜ while atsumu was trying so hard, really he promised he won't laugh so soon, that osamu keeps pestering him to shut his bitch as up

➜ until the faintest of sobs were heard, forcing their mini argument to a halt

“ will you stay quiet ─ ”

“ ─ oh no no no, please don't cry ”

➜ osamu is in distraught because he actually doesn't know how to take care of a child crying

➜ while astumu is trying to carry you

“ hngg i ─ hic ─ want big brother 'samu ─ hic ! ”

➜ bitch almost wanted to drop you right then and there honestly

➜ he's like ??? DOES THIS BITCH EVEN KNOW I EXIST EYE??

➜ and when osamu heard you calling out to him, something in him snapped

“ i knew this was a bad idea ─ ”

➜ as he shoved atsumu off of you, hugging you as he tries to coo you, whispering “ shh . . don't ya worry, yer big brother 'samu is here ”

➜ this MANS OHMYGOD

➜ your cries seemed to have ceased as atsumu is standing there like ??

➜ i'm thEIR BROTHER TOO !!

➜ bb boy held a grudge on you for a few weeks ngl

➜ but then you grew up and now you know that you actually have two (2) big bro 'samu

➜ but more annoying & bitchy

➜ you're their favourite victim to bully

➜ well, atsumu

➜ but they won't let their teasing lead to you crying because they actually can't stand the sight of their younger sibling crying

➜ contrary to popular belief, when you realized there was another big bro 'samu, you were now attached to atsumu while he's similing smugly and triumphly at osamu

➜ atsumu would 100% be very competitive for your attention though he makes you hate him whenever he bullies you

➜ but we all know osamu hates losing

➜ so there was definitely a time of your life that their fighting over who was the best big brother

➜ ugh y'all cute cute

➜ while you're helping osamu around the kitchen, atsumu would just watch from the side lines because the kitchen is kinda yours and osamu's thing

➜ though while in his earlier years, he'd get upset because he wants you to hang out with him too :(

➜ while you have the cooking thing with osamu, you have the baking thing with atsumu

➜ shh hear me out

➜ osamu is actually not good at baking shit

➜ the first time he attempted baking was when you joined a baking club & now you're obsessed with making cupcakes and all that good good

➜ and he wanted to also try and back

➜ and how and what did he do to make your cupcakes look like dog shit was beyond you

➜ and while smelling something burning, atsumu ran to the kitchen and after realizing what osamu did

➜ he'd try and make your next batch of cupcakes presentable

➜ because he's?? actually?? good at it??

➜ and now you guys have your baking sessions and brother 'tsumu bonding time

➜ but even though you guys have other things with the other person, you guys LOVED doing chores together

➜ like, your guys' mom would make the boys clean the bathroom and before you knew it, LIKE YOU WENT THERE JUST TO TALK TO THEM WHILE THEY CLEAN, you find yourself cleaning the toilet necause atsumu ain't doing that shit

➜ washing dishes?? that as well

➜ you and atsumu would be the ones washing while osmu would do the drying

➜ 11/10 of the time would leave you guys a damped mess

➜ while cleaning the kitchen, i absoloutely headcanon, like STRONGLY

➜ that you guys would just talk either about random shit, talk shit about someone honestly, or quote reality tv shows

➜ like one thing you would be sweeping the kitchen floor,  and while sweeping, you accidentally hit the trash bin hard that the contents flew out of it as it fell down the floor

➜ and atsumu's like : “ pooja what is this behaviour?? ”

➜ then something clicked in you that made you remember that one show bigg boss something

➜ and you'd be like : “ i'm sorry i kicked it ny mistake ”

➜ osamu would roll his eyes before joining you two :  “ you can't kick it by mistake ”

➜ “ then pick it up if it bothers you ”

➜ ugh y'all aRE ICONS

➜ y'all would be at the pool and atsumu would shout “ oh no my diamond earing is gone ”

➜ and osamu would reply “ kim, there's people that are dying. ”

➜ you'll be their biggest fan in the court

➜ whenever they play with you on the sidelines something in them just snapped and they'll be scoring points by points in a row

➜ they lowkey love to show off

➜ if you're a girl, every fangirl of they have would be wary of you at first, but then realized that you were just their little sister

➜ and to their bisexual fans, they would ngl have a huge ass crush on you too

➜ and if you're a boy as well, oH MY GOD WOULD THEY HAVE FALLEN AMD CAN'T GET UP

➜ LIKE BITCH THE MIYA GENES ARE THRIVING IN THE THREE OF YOU

➜ you bet they'd be throwing hands if someone decided to break your heart

➜ though, osamu would be the more rational one

➜ if they ever meet your s/o, atsumu would want to rile them up while osamu is just being calm but the scarier one of the two?? but he knows you don't need any protecting because you know how to do it yourself & you don't have any need for that

➜ 12/10 would recommend as brothers

➜ in conclusion, you guys may not always get along, but you know damn well they care about you and would apologize right away if they did something too far. and you guys are such good sibling goals😤

BOKUTO KOUTARO.

➜ definitely know how to deal with his emo mode

➜ since you guys grew up together

➜ and sadly, you didn't have an akaashi to help you out with it while you were young

➜ like he'd be the older brother but you would probably be the more mature one

➜ but while you guys were young, he was your knight & shinning armor

➜ like when you scraped your knee while trying to catch him, he'll do a 180° and bitch has never ran faster to you than that time

➜ & if you were crying because of it, he'll make stupid jokes but it'll always make you forget about the pain in your knee

➜ and it's one of those times that you could really see that he was actually older than you

➜ then he'll piggyback you back to your house

➜ homeboy be reliable even while he was young wow

➜ and even 'till now

➜ if you ever got sick or injured

➜ or god forbid, HEARBROKEN by someone

➜ a bitch will throw hands

➜ but before that he'll make you laugh & do his best to take your mind off whatever is causing you to hurt

➜ ngl you would always look up to him, even if he may seem childish

➜ he'll hang out with you the rest of the day, he doesn't care if it's a school day, he'll drag akaashi with him

➜ my boy here GIVES THE BEST ADVICES

➜ though he may reword them differently, but his advices never seemed to fail you

➜ fights don't usually happen, and if they do they're probably serious

➜ he's the type of brother that lets you sneak out the house

➜ he'll usually back you up in everything

➜ and this bitch would take the fall for your faults

➜ ugh WE STAN

➜ but also if you sneak out the house to your significant other, bb boy has to know their number, address, occupation etc.

➜ because he ain't having a broken hearted sibling

➜ and he just wants the best for you

➜ and in the future, though he may be busy with being a professional volleyball player;

➜ he'll always have time for you

➜ he'll cLEAR OUT HIS SCHEDULE JUST FOR YOU

➜ you're that urgent to him

➜ your his first best friend before volleyball

➜ speaking of volleyball, if you aren't found in the stands in his matches ─ he'll go TO EMO MODE Y'ALL

➜ because you're usually always there in his games and it makes him give all his 120%

➜ since he's usually busy, he'll ALWAYS have those covey sisters movie nights

➜ if ykyk

➜ he's a sucker for family bonding time ogey

➜ the type to binge watch all the hsm movies & know all the lyrics to all the songs

➜ the type to defend sharpay with all his might

➜ and you guessed it right

➜ sharpay is his favourite character

➜ no one tell me otherwise

➜ THE TYPE TO DUET SONGS WITH YOU

➜ HIS FAVOURITE?

➜ EVERY SHARPAY & RYAN SONGS

➜ HE'LL BE SHARPAY AND YOU'LL BE RYAN

➜ AND THAT'S ON BOP TO THE TOP

➜ hates horror movies

➜ so if you ever watch it with him, he won't leave your side for the rest of the night & will have a sleepover on the living room

➜ f o r t s

➜ loves doing ridiculous challanges

➜ your phone would be BOMBARDED with crackhead videos of him

➜ probably broke a bone or two ngl

➜ 100/10 would recommend as a brother

➜ in conclusion, he may not always be there, and would be a bit childish & needy at times; but you know that he would step up as a big brother for you ANYDAY, ANYNIGHT, ANYTIME. because how could he want the best for you when he's not being his best on his part?

-ˏˋ playing soleil's tape ˊˎ-

[ 📼 ] . . . tumblr won't let this post show on the tags now i have to repost them all over again phew chile. watch me throw hands😤

[inquisitoracorn]

Writer Tag Game

Thank you @melisusthewee, @5lazarus, @morganlefaye79 and @noire-pandora for the tags! If anyone else tagged me and I didn’t thank them I’m really sorry, Tumblr is having a tag fit again. 

I’m a bit late but I will tag forward: @musetta3 @drag-on-age @kittynomsdeplume @johaeryslavellan @blarrghe and @another-rogue-trevelyan if you’ve all been tagged already feel free to ignore me or write me in so I can give it a read <3

1.  How many works do you have on AO3?

Six in total, but my WIPs are legion.

2.  What’s your total AO3 word count?

72,044

3. What are you top 5 fics by kudos?

Why, the smut is first of course!

1. On an Ambassadorial Note (I should have made that Ambassadorian....how did I miss this???????) - the Inquisitor and Dorian exchange letters and the servants find them - 61 

2. What Shouldn’t Be - solavellan angst - 27 

3. Nothing, again - short smutty modern AU pavelyan - 23

4. Two Songs and Three Serpents - my magnum opus, Inquisitor Jonathan Trevelyan’s backstory, my pride and joy, fourth in the ranking at 13 :))))

5. We are here for you - short angsty talk between Trevelyan and Solas - 6

4. Do you respond to comments?  Why or why not?

Always or almost always. It’s a nice thing to do.

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

It’s a tie between What Shouldn’t Be and the fic that didn’t make it into the ranking, Who is the Lamb and Who is the Knife, written after another prompt. The solavellan one is an AU where Solas has torn down the Veil and bitterly remembers all that he’s lost, nothing hopeful about it. The other one is part of a set of ideas I have for a dark!inquisitor AU, where Dorian dies and Trevelyan is on a revenge quest that’s of course ultimately futile. That one is really painful for me and they’re both bitter and hopeless and written when I was very moody :))))

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

The smut :)))) Nothing, again ends kinda cute.

7. Do you write crossovers? If so, what’s the craziest one you’ve written?

A crossover would mean my brain should be capable of sticking like glue to TWO fandoms at the same time at least! And it can barely handle the one, so nope :))) I can barely write different setting AUs tbh.

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

No. When I finish Two Songs and Three Serpents, and if it gets around a little more, then I kinda expect to and I wouldn’t be surprised. But the odds of that happening are really small. 

9.  Do you write smut?  If so, what kind?

I have, and I plan to write more :))) I’m not as good at that as most of the ones I read, but I like writing it and it clearly works for some other people too.

10.  Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope.

12.  Have you ever co-written a fic before?

A couple of years ago I started writing some Vampire The Masquerade fanfic based on a roleplay campaign run by a friend of mine, we both loved one of the characters and decided to write more. Unfortunately we both quickly got busy with other things and never made it very far with writing it. Quite a bit of that character inspired Jonathan though (even the name is recycled from it) so I guess I still channeled that somehow :))

13.  What’s your all-time favourite ship?

That’s like asking my about my favourite song! Is this the moment I reveal to Tumblr that I used to be an enthusiastic wolfstar shipper? Or stucky? I have a thing for friends getting together :))) 

As for DA, it’s definitely any inquisitor/Dorian, the only thing I love more than Dorian is a happy and loved Dorian.

14.  What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Let’s not be discouraging shall we :))))

So far I have one little WIP about the Inquisitor’s shenanigans in the Frostback Basin because I loved JoH, and also one in which Jonathan and Dorian have a small fight and one of the Inquisition scouts takes it upon himself to repair it. Both of them have been moved to the queue because I am fully caught up writing TSTS at the moment. 

15. What are your writing strengths?

I’ve been told it’s description, and it’s true I can’t stop describing settings, it is sooooo much fun! It’s where most of my creativity is for sure. 

16.  What are you writing weaknesses?

Narrative voice, especially when it comes to emotion and a character’s thought process. It seems to flow much more smoothly for other writers, and sometimes I read something I wrote and it feels a little shallow by comparison. I tend to bury the character’s emotions in little details and pray they translate clearly :))

17.  What are your thoughts one writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I love making up words. I’m also bad at it. They sound very awkward.

18.  What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Death Note, when I was 12! I can’t remember the name, my username, or even the website I posted it to. It was never finished, I was 6 chapters in when someone commented that I haven’t posted in a while and that they had been waiting and to whoever posted that I’M SO SORRY but it was really bad :))

I think I deleted it too...

19.  What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

Two Songs and Three Serpents. It’s easy when there isn’t much to choose from :))) But it makes up 63k out of those 72k, it’s my best shot at writing I’ve ever made and very dear to me.

[metalbvcky]

2020 Fic Year in Review

I’m waiting for my Sims game to finish updating, so I thought I’d do this since I saw @kalee60‘s post about it :) 

Total number of completed stories: 

14 (15 if you include a short 1am-oneshot I orphaned haha) 

Total number of words: 

111,575 (and that’s not including stuff I scrapped/haven’t posted omg) 

Fandoms written in:

Marvel/Stucky but also Supernatural (on my main) just a tad because haven’t posted anything yet but I’m including it anyway haha 

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d expected?

Oh, absolutely! Heck, I never thought I’d write anything when it comes to fic because I’ve always kept quiet about my writing. (And I’ve been doing it since I was like 12 and it all started with my Club Penguin phase pffft)  But my interest turned into an obsession rather quickly and I honestly can say, without a doubt, that @buckybees​ is the whole reason why I even got the courage to post my first fic! I’m so glad I did because writing fic has given me a new perspective on fandom in general. And it makes me appreciate fandom/fanon even more. 

What’s your own favourite story of the year?

Pretty much all of them but Bucky's Got a Bun in the Oven? holds a special place in my heart. Not only was it my first published fic, but I never thought I’d write something like that. I go back and re-read it frequently since it’s so short. 

No lie: Sometimes I look back at that fic and it makes me wanna write a series of short oneshots with Pregnant!Bucky. Like, just Domestic Steve/Bucky living in the modern day with a baby on the way. Bucky shopping for baby clothes, decorating the nursery, having snack parties with Natasha, taking care of the baby after the birth, those sort of things. Oh, I think I just talked myself into another idea. 😂 

Did you take any writing risks this year?

Ehh, not really? However, I did write a series of crack oneshots lol. Some are crazier than others. 

Do you have any fanfic or profic goals for the new year?

Apple Pie Crumble Cake - This is my #1 goal. It’s a Bakery!AU Kid Fic that I’ve been planning for months. It’s gonna be multi-chaptered, and at least 50k. I have 10 chapters outlined and there are still more I need to get to, but probably won’t until I start writing the darn thing lol. 

I wanna start posting some smut oneshots on my secondary pseud, I have some done but I don’t think those will ever see the light of day since they’re just for practice- most of them were thought of on the spot without any outlining. I’d like to keep anything (totally) nsfw separate from my default pseud, just to be organized lol. And yes, this asexual read/writes smut. 😏 (my personal rule is as long as it doesn’t involve me, I’m good!) 

I thought long and hard on this in the past week or so, and originally I thought I’d join the Shrunkyclunks ‘21 Bang but the more I thought about it, the less I wanted to do it. It’d be my first bang, and while I have an idea, it’s just a little intimating to me lol. Soo, I’ll pass this year. Instead, I’m gonna look out for a Bingo whenever a new one starts up, since I’ll prob be more comfortable with that :) 

(Does this short lil Beach!AU count even though it’ll be done in 2020 but will be posted next year?? lolol) 

On my main, I’m writing a Supernatural + Spongebob crossover fic. Sort of like the episode, Scoobynatural. And I have a feeling that it’s gonna be turned into a series because I’m latched onto this idea- that started as a joke. 

Most popular story of the year.

Are we talking hits or kudos?? Hits, Buchanan Medical. Kudos, The Case of Bucky’s Wisdom Teeth. Eitherway, I’m so happy those two made it as my most popular stories. Buchanan Med is close to me on a personal level, and Bucky’s wisdom teeth fic is something I’ve always wanted to read but never existed :3 

Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion:

I think @kalee60​ explained it perfectly when it comes to fics ‘flopping’ (I see this a lot on r/fanfiction) People will see it, they might like it, or won’t like it. And that’s okay! Not everything is for everyone, neither are tropes/genres. I know myself, I’m not a fan of A/B/O and the same could go for someone else who likes my personal favorite genre, hurt/comfort. And sometimes it’s kinda like an age old Tumblr saying: A post that took time and effort can get little as 10 notes but a spur of the moment post can get thousands. (Okay so, I made that up on the spot pffft) 

Most fun story to write.

Buchanan Medical, but Mercury In Retrograde was super fun since I added the whole ‘space puns/pickup lines’ aspect to it. They basically share the same AU, but they’re totally different and that’s why I love them.  

Most unintentionally telling story:

The entire Buchanan Med series. I wanted to explore Steve having asthma in a modern universe (because I too suffer from it- my whole life) and I really, truly, bled a little bit of my personal experience with the disease into the series. Having Bucky there, taking care of/treating Steve? It felt really comforting to me. And hey, write those self comfort fics!!! 

Biggest disappointment.

I hoped to finish the last oneshot of Buchanan Med this year but sadly, my motivation for it just tanked. I write hurt/comfort best when I’m in the right mood for it, and I’m still waiting for it to come back to me, whenever that may be XD. 

Biggest surprise.

The amount of reception I’ve gotten overall, the people I’ve met, the friends I’ve made, and new fandom experiences I’ve gotten to experience myself! Seriously, never in a million years did I think I’ve ever call myself a fanfic writer. But here I am, and I couldn’t be happier <3

~~~

My Sims game finished updating on the fifth question but I kept on rambling because I love taking about my writing!!! It made me realize that wow, I really did do a lot this year when it comes to fanon- especially since it was my first time delving into the world that is fanfiction writing <3 I have many hobbies, video games being the longest one, but I think I’ve spent more time writing/reading than playing games this year. My teenager-self WOULD NEVER believe that! But as the legendary Reggie Fils-Aimesays once said, "If it’s not fun, why bother?” 

I’m gonna tag you guys if you wanna do this! @buckybees​ @justice-for-plums​ @hbalbat​ @its-tortle​ @captainjanegay​ @greyhavensking​ @snarky-drabbles​ @joharvele​ @musette22​ @mysterious-marvel​ 

[chaoticspacefam]

2020 In Review: Wordcount Tag

I was tagged for this by @actualanxiousswampwitch​ , thank you! I’m not sure who’s already done or been tagged for this cause I am, once again, late to the party LOL but I shall (no pressure and sorry if you’ve already done it!) tag: @rainofaugustsith​ , @darth-bagel​ , @thatmmolesbian​ , @thelastenvoyyy​ and anybody else who wants to do this. Yes, I promise I mean you!

Words: 45,314

Published: 0 (I’m not counting the couple of Six Sentence tags I’ve gotten, they’re snippets of an unfinished piece & are included below instead :), or roleplay replies, cause that feels like cheating lol.) I actually wrote a lot more than I thought I had, this is a rough guesstimate as well, as my oneshot WIPs tend to be all over the place across something like 6 different documents, some of which have existed since 2018, so I had to guess at how far up to count from the end for some of them, but I think it’s a fair guesstimate XD I also have included lore/worldbuilding docs in this because that was a 3-month long Lockdown 1.0 Boredom/”Canon is a trash fire so I’m ignoring that and making up my own lore” passion project and I’m goddamn proud of how much I wrote for that. It’s the most I’ve written in one stretch (think I finished it over a span of 3 nights or so, once I’d done all the research and made all the notes ofc ^^)

Not Published: 45,314

The Breakdown:

swtor - 45,314

for creeping shadows (my main longfic/part one of the subterfugeverse series) - 1,553  - Aria, stop being difficult! *shakes fists* XD

oneshots - 16,223

lore/worldbuilding (for subterfugeverse naturally) - 23,001 (is this ALL tomato alien lore? pretty much, yes, yes it is :’D ~400 words is “the WIP reworked timeline to correlate my worldbuilding with the canon timeline that was released”, but 98% is just...me thinking way too much about Purebloods and how they deserved way better goddamn lore. I blame @fluffynexu ‘s amazing tomato worldbuilding posts,  reading them when I went looking for “canon” lore one day for the rp is what got me started down that rabbithole (it’s awesome and if you haven’t already you should totally go check hers out too :DD), I had a “fuck you then canon I’ll do it myself too >:L” moment and once I started I couldn’t stop until I’d crapped out literally over 20k words on the subject *whispering* thank you LOL)

zephyrverse au bonus oneshots - 4,537 (stuff I wrote to fill in time gaps or “just cause I had a plot bunny”, relating to mine and k-christine’s zephyrverse au rp. None of these will likely be posted publicly, but they still deserve to be counted as words I wrote this year :’D

As you can see, most of my “muse” this year came from sporadic oneshots :’D The Ahaszaai twins also properly plot-bunnied their way into my brain in late 2019 and haven’t stopped making a nuisance of themselves the whole fucking year. Every time I tried to carry on with a chapter, one of the two of them would pop up like “Nooo write about ME! pay attention to ME!” - Yes, Ni’kasi, I will get to you this year, I promise XD

New Things I Tried:

Just Writing. Not worrying about whether “it wasn’t part of the next chapter” or “it comes from a part in the story that I’m nowhere near close to posting yet”. If I felt like writing something, or for a specific pairing/feeling/scene, whatever. I wrote until I ran outta muse juice. Yeah, it meant I didn’t technically “finish” anything this year BUT - the important thing is I wrote stuff. and that’s all that really matters, eh? :’D

Polyam ships! May not seem like a big deal but I spent a long time talking myself out of them because of internalised toxic monogamy and finally saying “you know what, fuck it! I can ship three or more people together and it can still be a perfectly wholesome, healthy and loving relationship and that’s okay” was a BIG thing for me this year.

Dialogue Scripts: which I didn’t count as wordcount because really it’s just word vomit of general tone/inflection and dialogue that I came up with right before falling asleep which I didn’t want to lose. Basically, if an exchange or a particularly punchy or moving line of dialogue popped into my brain but I wasn’t ready to write the whole scene that it fit into out, but didn’t want to forget the line(s). I wrote it out in movie script/script-style roleplay fashion e.g. Character’s Name: (emotion, hand gestures etc.) [Dialogue here] and so on. I know this is probably a well known trick of the trade, but I never took it seriously until this year. Seriously, do it. It’s great.

Favorite Thing I Wrote:

Hmmm, a snippet for Andronikos/Ni’kasi that I started this week which isn’t posted yet (saving it for this week’s Six Sentence Sunday so look out for it! :D) was pretty fun to work on, I love their dynamic and Kas is suprisingly fun to write for.

Also the Aria/Vano proposal scene that I posted a snippet for the week before last. I’m having great fun with that scene, and I really enjoy putting a non-serious spin on the classic “proposal scene” tropes. Can’t wait to finish it, though it may be a while before the full one goes up on AO3, as it depends whether it ends up fitting in as part of the mainfic or as an additional oneshot

And I have a D’leah/Kissai oneshot that I need to give another once-over before I finally yeet it onto AO3 and Tumblr for you guys to see :’D

Favorite Fic I Read:

@sleepswithvillains Eleanora/Quinn fic, Helplessly Hoping. I’m horribly behind on chapters and I gotta catch up and read the finale this week, but it’s been a helluva great ride and I’ve thoroughly enjoyed the story! <3

Also The Invitation collab with @tishinada featuring Zas and Fiona had me squealing, I can’t wait to catch up on HH and see more of these two, they’re adorable ;-; @a-muirehen​ ‘s Relu/Merkara series of course! I’m a complete sucker for (friends to lovers to in Ariano’s case but yea pfpfpf) enemies to lovers ships and these two are just so good, I am on the edge of my seat every time we get a new snippet for them, ngl (grimace emoji) @darth-bagel ‘s Sylvas/Graz’zt and Sylvas/Liz/Rilfaen snippets which they’ve been spoiling me with on Discord @mercurypilgrim ‘s Ven’fir/Quinn AU oneshots, Cloudbank (Western was a particular favourite, but all are very good!) and of course @rainofaugustsith ‘s Lana/Viri updates are always fantastic, some personal favourites from this year were Almost There & Memory of Healing :3 (I totally still go back to read Commander & Advisor too sometimes, getting to see Viri be a little diabolical and messing with “MiNiSTeR LoRMaN!” was and still is my favourite thing XD)

If I’ve left you out I’m sorry!! These were the ones that stuck out in my memory, but I’ve loved everyone’s writing this year, it’s been great :3

Writing Goals:

to actually finish and post chapter 8 & 9 of Creeping Shadows. Then we’ll get to the meat and potatoes of the story and maybe Aria will stop being a brat and fighting me every time I try to stick to a semi-regular update schedule Get off my butt, finalise the name and get started on Ni’kasi’s part of the Subterfugeverse story. Maybe run the updates in-tandem with Creeping Shadows but idk if I want to wait till after CS is done before I start posting Kas’s side, or do them side-by-side yet, we’ll see ;) Keep writing! I know better than to pressure myself by setting a specific word count goal, that’s never worked well in the past

At least 2 chapters of each of the works mentioned above would be great though, more would be better! We’ll see how I go

Words of Thanks:

honestly, to everybody in the fandom I’ve met this year. Anybody that I follow, thank you for being there and engaging with me and/or posting amazing content for me to look at! I came over from deviantART where the SWTOR fandom is incredibly small and generally quite inactive and the contrast since moving over here has been incredibly uplifting. I very nearly cancelled Creeping Shadows and stopped posting fic for my SWTORverse altogether because I got next to no engagement on dA and it was very disheartening to the point where I felt I could enjoy the game and the rp partners I had, but the solo projects I’d put so much thought, time and love into already weren’t worth continuing. You guys took that spark and kept it going and I really don’t have enough words to say how grateful I am for that. Even if I haven’t published much this year, making posts on this tumblr, interacting with everyone and working on lore, plot points and so on for Subterfugeverse has kept me going through the Hellish Year of Nightmares that was 2020 <3

to the amazing new friends I’ve made in this past year, who have listened to me ramble about headcanons, character backstories, writing snippets (and rambled/sent some back), keep being awesome: @walk-ng-d-saster , @darth-bagel , @kyber-heart , @deepseacritter , @thedinalixlegacy to further friends and meme tag buddies, I get so excited every time I see a mention for a new meme or ask game in my inbox, so thank you!! : @mimabeann , @palepinkycat , @a-master-procrastinator , @raven-of-domain-kwaad , @actualanxiousswampwitch , @thatmmolesbian , @a-muirehen to my regular commentors/rebloggers/likers/askbox lurkers, I see every one of you and every time your users pop up I grin like a kid in a toy shop: @starlightjedi , @sparkles-and-rust , @wilvarin-chan , @sunsetofdoom , @ask-an-andalite , @thelastenvoyyy . @lyrishadow and more because Tumblr only goes so far back and I have the memory of Swiss Cheese. If you regularly comment, like, reblog, or anything, from me, know that I see you, and I love and appreciate you for it! <3

I couldn’t possibly remember to tag everyone and I promise if I missed you out it’s not because I hate you! Anxiety just sometimes be a bitch and I don’t wanna look like a clown calling someone a “friend” if I’m not explicitly sure we are, in fact, friends. I think you’re all awesome and I’m so glad to have moved over here and met you all <3

[3maeiri]

tagged by @5-14​ thank you for tagging me! i always love any excuse to talk about mx lol

tagging: @burnitupmp3 ​ ; @softhyungkyun ​ ; @2bosoos ​ ; @wonheons ​ ; @wabisaba ​

for: monsta x

1. who was your first bias?

i tried to convince myself i wasn’t going to have a bias but it was absolutely hyungwon from the start

2. who is your bias now?

lol still hyungwon, but i also snatched up minhyuk and kihyun sometime in 2019 so i triple bias now. life is constant pain and secondhand embarrassment

3. what was the first mv you watched by them?

all in! i heard through the grapevine that it got gay, so i made sure to watch it first

4. what’s your favourite mv?

all in still shksfd i really wish there was an extended version that included at least all he scenes kihyun said he filmed and then got cut out

i also adore shine forever, find you, and the connect d if that counts (can you sense a theme here)

5. if you could only listen to one of their songs for the rest of your life, which would it be?

oh…oh no…either from zero or breathe for you. they’re my ultimate comfort songs

6. who would you want to see them collab with?

have you heard of this new up and coming soloist named wonho? fskjffd this might be out of left field bc i think this question is asking about music collabs, but a collab with the choreographers lia kim or koharu sugawara would be insane

7. what (mv) concept do you want to see them do?

a coherent story fjsfjhks but maybe something softer? not cutesy, but definitely something less grungy and dark it would be a good break from the sexy concept bc some fans don’t know how to behave

8. have you ever had a dream with any of the members in it?

oooh hot off the presses my first public reveal of a dream with mx! no but i have, i think a couple at this point but i don’t really remember. the last one i had all i remember is kihyun had a giant tattoo on his rib and then i woke up :/

9. if you could spend a day with one member, who would it be and what would you do?

kihyun? i think? it’s a running joke i have with my partner that me and kihyun are the same person bc we have far too many of the same vocal and physical quirks (plus our hands are weirdly similar). but i think we have similar ideas for what to do with our spare time, and i think it’d be neat to just talk with him while we do little hobbies on the living room floor

10. which member do you think you would get along with best?

wonho? or the bosoo bros? i think i match well with their personalities (though wonho and the bosoos have v different personalities)

11. which member do you think you would argue with?

changkyun fdjshk he just has a habit of being blunt in a way that makes me want to fight him a little

12. if you had to let one member scroll through your tumblr, who would it be?

well i don’t say anything overtly sexual or weirdly infantilizing so i guess it’s fair game for any of them. any member will absolutely tease me regardless, but i don’t think i have any immediate issues with them knowing that i think they’re pretty and admire them as people lol

[fandom-necromancer]

Questions for you (if you're ok answering): what is your favorite fic that you've written and what is your favorite that you've read of somebody else's

Okay, first of all: I love getting questions! I just tend to overshare so I hope that’s okay XD That’s a hard one, though. For one because I have a shit memory, but also because there are so many and I can’t decide. So, this will likely get long and I’ll put it under the cut not to disturb people that aren’t interested!

Shorts

My favourite one I wrote lately was likely the Cyberpunk AU for the Secret Santa? Because I could write whatever I wanted really and it was the first one in a long, long time that I sat down, had no idea what to write, began writing, was sucked in and a few hours later I was sitting there with a story that I absolutely loved. And that has become such a rare occasion lately because nothing is really fun anymore because Corona keeps me in a constant down phase? Idk. That was cool.

Also, the “A little distraction” series was fun! It’s an old story from last year and when I reuploaded that one, I was blown away how many people wanted more of that. As this had been planned for a longer story initially I had to condense into a short, it made me happy too, because people would have liked to read the longer version too, maybe? If I had ever written it? It was just really cool.

The Halloween short with Gavin being an eldritch shadow monster most people overlook completely was fun also because of the same reason as the Cyberpunk AU. I got lost in that one so hard. Really fun to write.

My all-time favourite short story  though is likely the pebble series. It started as a joke in my head but when I sat down to write it, it just felt natural. I kinda really projected on Nines in there and I think I like his personality there the most from all the fics I’ve written about him. They are both just really cute in there.

You can also look for the top ten stories in my opinion from last year’s anniversary if you search my blog in the tag #One Year of Stories and I think the real tag was something like #Last year revisited? I’m not sure though because tumblr and searching blog tags is horrible, hence the archive project XD. Should be around June 2020.

Big stories

I would say A Soldiers Purpose, but that doesn’t count as it isn’t a fic anymore while I rewrite it to be an original Story. Plan to publish that as a “real world” book in German and English hard copy as well as eBook and it should be international publishing? I’m not that sure as I’m still comparing self-publishers and some only serve Germany, US and Australia whats weird but okay. Although I believe with ISBN it should be available almost everywhere just not in stores? I always planned to have it ready before I finished my bachelor thesis but we will see if that is happening (I guess not but I will try). 

The Werewolf AU, definitely. It started as a vent fic to get me out of a really bad place (I guess anyone who read Somebody to die for knows it’s pretty dark) and I mean I’m here now and while I’m not happy I’m definitely happier than when I wrote it so... win? But now that I’m writing Wolfheart I really want to give them a happy ending and hopefully once that story ends the whole personal reason I started writing it ends too, so yeah. Maybe a really personal reason but I’m really invested in that story.

My favourite fic I have ever, ever written though will be one you never get to read (thankfully, hopefully). It’s super old, it’s German, it’s uploaded on a different platform I hope no one of you knows, it’s under yet another name of mine and it’s absolutely objectively bad. The writing is bad, the plot is okayish and I literally killed off the gay characters without noticing that as something bad because I was a very different person back then. But I love it to this day regardless because it got me through some hard times.

Also, as a last comment to my own stories I love my longer stories on AO3 far more than these shorts. Not because they are more fun to write or anything but because I feel like I put a lot of effort into them and put a lot of soul into the stories. But yeah, that’s to that.

Other’s works

My favourite fics I read are so, so damn many… I generally write more than I read but with the amount I write I guess it cancels it out. Also some are pretty old because I mostly read fanfic on the bus and now I haven’t really left the house for a year. I’ll try to keep it short. They are not in any particular order I just went through a few sites of my history. Really I just enjoy everything reverseAU, SoulmateAU, Mute!Nines and them all being softies. Also just the dbh stuff because I’m not sure you would be interested in other fandoms.

Accident by sv926 Soulmate AU, I really dig how the personality of Nines and Gavin are displayed and that it isn’t a “We are soulmates all is perfect now” storyline (although I like that too). Amazing.

Traitor by Skye_Willows, Stujet9rainshine If hurt/comfort was a fic. MedieavalAU. I really love the portrayal of manipulation and how Nines tries to save Gavin from it all. Also Nines is a painter so I’m in.

Soft Spot by Headfulloffantasy A story I really regret not reading earlier. Casefic with amazing characterisation and a plot that leaves you on the edge. Every time you think you got an overview of what happened or an idea of how it continues there is another facette revealed that you just didn’t expect. Can’t wait to read the next chapter.

XVIII by Sandara Cuteness overload but also prepare for the feels. It’s an ReverseAU that is set during the game events. It’s so damn well written I just love it.

Feral Nines by Kaini Nines whump. Kinda. I love it so much. Broken Nines is my weakness and also Mute!Nines. You get a lot of feelings reading this.

all the lonely nights in your life by  willgrahamssadness SoulmateAU that hurts but picks you up and shows you all the fluff in the end. I love it.

Safe and sound by a_calipygian Soft Reed900. With a lot of hurt/comfort. Lovely story about healing and found family. 

The Lion Tamer by celexdraw Equally cute as their drawings. CircusAU I didn’t know I needed but it is so well done. It is a happy story but has enough darkness to make me miss my busstop.

Despite it All by Jennilah Another SoulmateAU I absolutely love. Also has Hannor content I think but I didnt get to read that part yet.

Scrapyard Rookie by Pence Reverse AU that caught my heart. Really cute but with a little bastard GV if I remember correctly.

Sleeves by BloodthirstyMerc More Mute!Nines talking about Gavin’s past self harm. Super cute and comforting and aaaaa.

These Violent Delights by MechanicalBones Will absolutely destroy you. Is amazing and everything I ever wanted. Can recommend to those who too enjoy holding back tears on the bus.

Static Truth and Hunter Hunter Hunted by whatsanapocalae Both are super cute, super angsty and so, so comforting. The author has a really nice writing style too. Got to these fics because i wrote their Deus Ex stuff and discovered they write dbh too.

Rewind the Film by connorssock,Sylvestia Allen60. You will cry. And you will like it. I’m happy it was like 11pm on a bus  no one uses coming home from uni when I came to the part that hits you right in the feels. You have to read it.

Heavy In Your Arms by CatiDono More ReverseAU with Gavin whump. It’s also kinda a reset story. I usually don’t like these, but it starts after the reset so we never get to see the Gavin from before, just the onset of “I used to be a person before and there is someone loving me and grieving but I don’t know them but they are nice what do I do?” I really enjoyed this, although it’s kinda a heavy thing to read.

A mute Gavin one I can’t remember who or where it was from. I think it was on tumblr and timewise before the cornpocalypse but I’m not sure. Could be from connorssock? definitely on tumblr and Gavin lost his voice due to injury. I will try to find that again.

Also one from tumblr I can’t remember the name of, but it was homeless Gavin with Nines helping him. I think that one was from dumb-ways-to-deviate?

I could go on, but I already told far to much when you asked for like... 2 stories? I’m just excited to talk about stories XD

[daisylincs]

One last game of Tag? Agents of Shield #PartingShot

With this tag game, I want to know the answers to these five (5) questions and then tag 5 or more mutuals. Wasn’t tagged but want to join? Join in ! Everyone is an essential part of this fandom! Name from @ agent.of.shield_ on Instagram ( @agents-of-fangirling ) who had a great idea to post a picture of yourself with a drink (or just a drink) and tag it #partingshot as a finale goodbye to the show (which I also am going to post tomorrow on IG).

I was tagged by three wonderful Tumblr friends - @besidemethewholedamntime​, @infinitestarsintheskye​ and @rathxritter​. I’m SO emotional right now, but thank you for thinking of me, guys.

Where were you in life when you first started to watching AoS?

We were just entering lockdown towards the end of March (I’m so new, I knowww 🤣🤣🤗) Thing is, I was super-stressed about it, because I’m actually a really social person, and I need my people. I honestly had no idea how I was going to cope with being stuck at home for however many weeks. 

Then one of my friends, who had been badgering me to watch the show for literal years, brought it up again - and I couldn’t use my “but I don’t have the time” excuse anymore, so I said I’d start it. I figured it might be a kind of distraction to help me through the stress of lockdown.

And it became so much more than that! I’ve never binge-watched anything as crazily as I did AoS (I had one truly insane 18-episode streak) because the thing is... AoS, and the fandom that comes with it, got me through the lockdown. And it didn’t just get me through it - it helped me thrive in a time where I was seriously worrying about my mental health. 

Saying it will always have a special place in my heart seems trite or cliché, but the thing is... it will. It will always have a special place in my heart, because I honestly don’t know what I would have done without it. 

Where are you now?

I’ve always been a fangirl, pretty much since my first year of high school - but I’ve always been one of those quiet, guest-kudos kind of people. I loved reading everyone’s fic and theories, and seeing all their moodboards, edits and fanvids - but I never really interacted. 

AoS changed that for me. I went from watching on the sidelines to passionately creating myself, and to having something like twenty online friends I talk to on a regular basis (all of whom I love to absolute PIECES *blows kisses*) 

Here’s another cliché for you guys, but it’s also true: this show has changed my life. It got me so involved in fandom that I actually schedule parts of my day around it, instead of pushing relaxation to the back of my time in favour of work. (*cough* Which is honestly a much healthier way of doing it.)

AoS has proved to me that I’m a lot more resilient than I thought at first, and also a lot more adaptable. It’s honestly just been such an incredible influence in my life, even though I’ve just been a part of the fandom for about five months. (It feels so much longer than that, though!!) 

And I just... oh, gosh, I’m getting so emotional now, but I really just love this show, and this fandom, SO MUCH. I’m so glad I found you guys 💜💜💜

What character development arc (or storyline in general) did you love the most?

No contest, Daisy Johnson. Anyone who gives even a cursory glance at my blog can see how much I absolutely LOVE her - seriously, I don’t think I’ve ever been this passionate about a fictional character. But Daisy just... resonates with me so much, and going on this journey with her has been so unbelievably incredible.

Because she really has had quite the journey, hasn’t she? From a young, relatively innocent, relatively starry-eyed hacktivist in a van, to a superheroine who’s been traumatised over and over, yes, but has picked herself up every time - she really has come so incredibly far. And the amazing thing about Daisy is, no matter how harsh the show has been on her, she’s still managed to stay Daisy - at her core hopeful, caring and willing to give up everything to help others. 

And I think that’s just absolutely beautiful, and incredibly inspiring.

What will you miss the most?

Everything. Quite simply everything. The excitement before every new episode (I’ve never watched any season of anything live before, and it is quite something), reading through everyone’s theories and thoughts, spamming people’s chats with I CAN’T BELIEVE THAT JUST HAPPENED and making new friends because you just think EXACTLY the same way about that thing that happened. The fanfiction, fanvids, edits and moodboards this incredibly talented fandom manages to produce. And the cast! I just LOVE how enthusiastic the cast gets about this show, and sharing it with us, and how they’re all such close, good friends. It’s just absolutely amazing to watch them interact with each other, and with us.

And, of course, the show itself. I keep reminding myself that the show will always be there for me to rewatch, and that the fandom won’t just disappear overnight -we’ll still be here. It’ll be different, but we’ll still be here. And that’s a really comforting thought, even though I’m a total emotional wreck at the thought of saying goodbye tonight.

Favourite quote?

Oh, gosh, impossible question!! This show has just been loaded with amazing quotes, from all of the characters, really. But in the end, after a lot of consideration, I’m going to go for this one: 

“Sometimes, the world’s greatest miracles happen by accident.”

The context of this is a little... dodgy (Daisy says it to Hive, yikes) but the meaning behind it is really, really inspiring, and for me personally, very relevant to my love of this show. I never meant to get this hooked on it, and I never thought it would end up becoming such an intrinsic part of my life - it was an accident, almost, but it certainly is one of the greatest miracles that’s ever happened to me. 💜

*exhales* Whoo, okay, this got really intense on the feels. My cheeks are a little damp; I’m not afraid to say it. AoS really means that much to me. 

I’m going to tag some of the people who have helped make this experience such a miraculous one for me: @ohwriteiforgot, @everythingirl44, @aleksandrachaev, @springmagpies, (@2minutes2midnight - Zuza, I know you’ve already done this, but I wanted your name here because you’re a big part of what has made this so incredibly special for me), @bobbimorseisbisexual, @tomatobookworm, @libbyweasley, @agentmanatee, @jemmablossom, @naturaldaisaster, @angrylittleintrovert, @ryder616, @angry-slytherin, @nerdyalthea17 and @saltychocolatebeans. Many virtual hugs to you all. 💜

[seeinganewlight]

love you!!! 3, 8, 15, 16, 27!

love you!!!

3: Pick your 5 favourite creations and explain what you love the most about them!

since. picked 5 edits for an earlier (different) ask, i’m going to pick 5 other ones that i didn’t post there!

- my latest taylor swift edit - i don’t usually use yellow in edits and i don’t use as much pink but since those are 2 colors that i associate with lover, i figured it would make sense to use those and i really love how the coloring turned out! 

- this spring awakening edit - for the theatre discord that i’m in we did a challenge where we all posted different textures and the challenge was to use textures that you don’t normally use. the textures that were posted inspired me immediately and i love the colors! while truthfully i don’t think my cut out game was super on point this time, i really like how everything came together with the textures and the placement.

- this bonnie and clyde edit - i was in the middle of making a different bonnie and clyde edit when the inspiration for the last panel hit, so i moved on to this edit. i really love this one. i love how the colors turned out, that like minty blue is a color that i really love and i think it works well with the other colors. i also really love the text in the first panel.

- this anastasia edit - i believe that this is one that i made in the middle of the night because the idea came to me. usually if i get an idea for an edit in the middle of the night i won’t be able to fall asleep until i make it. i really love the purple in here, it feels very anastasia to me. i really really love the still from the show where the whole family is posing, just like the royal family really did pose in their portraits and i’ve always been inspired by that photo. that photo actually inspired this edit, and i just really love how it turned out with the x’s over the rest of the families faces (thought it was v painful to make)

- this bandstand edit - oh look another purple edit lol. i wanted to try something a bit more vintage inspired for this one, and i think it worked out pretty well! i also wanted to use screencaps from the proshot as opposed to promotional photos, they took a while to color as well and i’m happy with how they turned out. i also like the combination of the textures

8: List the 5 things you love the most about your creations

ah okay, (i hate complimenting myself so here we go) my use of negative space, my cutouts, my blue/purple edits - i feel like my best coloring is with those colors, my cropping, and how i blend textures together

15: Talk about some of your favourite creators: what do you love most about their creations?/ 16: List some creators that always inspire you with their creations and talent!

i’m putting these two together because all the people overlap lol. there are so many incredible editors on tumblr and i’m inspired by all of their work so much. their use of colors, fonts, textures, placement, everything they’re all so talented! @laststop @thenightscircus @sethgordon @afterastorms @seveh @sargentjanes @phantomness @wespers @piecesintoplaces @olivermvrks @kctherinepierce @orpheusmyth AND THERE ARE SO MANY OTHERS BUT MY BRAIN HAS STOPPED WORKING BUT KNOW I LOVE YOU ALL (also please tag me in all of you edits)

27: What’s your favourite font to use?

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA I KNEW YOU’D ASK ME THIS. i love the font intro, it is my go-to, but i have been branching out a little bit. intro will always have my heart though

creator asks

[shochmonster]

84 Questions

original: https://fuckyeahsurveys.tumblr.com/post/61049002526/84-questions

Put your music player of choice on shuffle and list the first 10 songs Guns of Brixton - The Clash Holiday in Cambodia - Dead Kennedys  Chainsaw - Nick Jonas California - Joni Mitchell Make It Wit Chu - Queens of the Stone Age This Woman’s Work - Kate Bush The Bad Thing - Arctic Monkeys Between the Bars - Eliot Smith Drown - The Smashing Pumpkins Different People - No Doubt

If you could spend a week anywhere in the world, where would it be and why? Would you take anyone with you? I’d take @duoloopo to the UK. I’d like to see places other than London.

What is your preferred writing implement? (eg. Blue pen, pencil, green pen)  I use my iPad stylus the most, but I have this heavy mechanical pencil I really like for drawing. 

Favourite month and why? October. I just love the fall vibe. 

Do you have connections to any celebrities (even minor)? List them. I went to undergraduate school with Rebecca Sugar. We used to ride the bus between NYC and DC together on holidays. 

Name 3 items you could pick up from where you are. Can of seltzer, pencil case, stack of bills

What brand logo is closest to you currently? REAL Skateboards

Do you ever play board games or other non-computer games? Got any favourites? I love Small World and Munchkin. 

A musical artist you love that isn’t well known Laura Stevenson and the Cans

A musical artist you love that is well known Red Hot Chili Peppers

What is your desktop background currently? Thomas Barrow on the beach in the Season 4 Christmas Special

Last person you talked to, and through what you talked to them @duomaxwell02 with my face :O 

First colour name you can think of that isn’t in the rainbow White

What timekeeping devices are in the room you are currently in? Two wall clocks, though one is very old and doesn’t wind anymore. I also have a clock @duoloopo ‘s dad made for me. It’s on the piano. 

What kind of headphones do you use? JBL Bluetooth, noise canceling 

What musical artists have you seen perform live? Foo Fighters (3x), Incubus (3x), Red Hot Chili Peppers, Smashing Pumpkins, Beastie Boys, Audioslave, Justin Timberlake, Troy Sivan, Arctic Monkeys, The Rolling Stones, Eric Clapton, Queen (but with Roger Daughtry, not Freddy... for obvious reasons.). Probably a whole bunch of others I’m blanking on. 

Does virginity matter to you? Not really. 

What gaming consoles do you or your family own? PS4, PS2, PS1, XBox 360, N64, Gamecube, Wii, NES, SNES, various Gameboys, Nintendo DS, PSP

What pets do you have? What are their names? Two cats, Hemingway and Renji

What’s the best job you’ve ever had? I like freelance art gigs the best. As for ‘normal people jobs’, I once was a sign painter for Whole Foods. That was pretty fun, minus the work drama. 

What’s the worst job you’ve ever had? Food service. 

What magazines do you read, if any? I’ll pick up Time once in a while

Inspiration behind your URL? My classic original URL was LinkWorshiper and had been since AIM first existed. I picked it because Zelda was the first fandom I ever joined. Now I’ve changed all my handles (except on AO3) to reflect my actual name, as my literary agent thinks it’s more professional. 

Inspiration behind your blog title? Mean Girls. I always chuckle imagining Thomas and Jimmy as some Edwardian version of the Plastics. 

Favourite item of clothing? My Downton livery waistcoat. And the stiff bosomed shirt and collars I have to go with it. 

Are you friends with any exes? Nah. By the time I felt comfortable enough to possibly try, I also didn’t care enough to. 

Name at least one book you loved as a child. His Dark Materials (the trilogy by Philip Pullman). I still love them and am jazzed that he’s writing more these days. 

What’s your native language? If that language has distinct regional variations, which variation? (eg. AU English, US English) US English, mostly a northeastern dialect/accent

What email service do you use? Gmail

Is there anything hanging on the walls of the room you are currently in? So much stuff. I have a mood board full of Downtons stuff over my desk, various DA posters and memorabilia, plus some artwork I’ve done, and some of my JC Leyendecker collection. The aforementioned wall clocks, a San Francisco cable car bell, Sailor Moon and a few other little knickknacks, like my hamsa. To name a few lol. 

What’s your favourite number, and why? 212 because it’s Manhattan’s area code and also because it used to be the notation for one of my favorite ships in an old fandom. 

Earliest moment in your life you can remember? Sitting under the table and looking at my grandma, who was wearing a Cruella Deville dress she’d knit herself. Like, it had the actual Disney character on it. Pretty cool to a little guy, I guess!

What did you have for dinner yesterday? Quesadilla 

How often do you brush your teeth? Whenever they feel gross

What’s your favourite candy/chocolate? Lately, I’ve been into Junior Mints. 

Have you had other blogs on Tumblr? Do you have any other blogs currently? This blog used to have my old handle, linkworshiper. I did a small Whole Foods blog when I worked with them, but it never went anywhere. 

If you were suddenly really hungry, what would you choose to eat? Sushi

What fandoms would you consider yourself a part of? Downton Abbey, though lately I’ve been crazy busy and not as active as I once was. Casually still poking at old fandoms like Zelda and Gundam Wing to name a few. 

If you could study anything, what would it be? More art education can’t hurt. Maybe some formal history education. 

Do you use anything on your lips? (eg. Chapstick, gloss, balm, lipstick) Chapstick 

How would you describe your sense of humour? Seinfeld 

What things annoy you more than anything else? Mouth noises

What kind of position are you in at the moment? Sitting

Do you wear much jewellery? Nope

Who is the leader of your country, currently? Any other levels of government with leaders? (State, region, province, county, district, municipality, etc) Three supposedly equal branches of government, currently being run into the ground by a clown 

Last 3 blogs on your dashboard, not including any of your own @halcyondaze @mab1905 @lavender-hued-melancholy

What do you carry your money in? I try to never carry cash, but I carry a small wallet 

Do you enjoy driving? Why or why not? I like it but sometimes it feels like a chore, especially during a commute. @duoloopo thinks I’m a shit driver so she tries to drive whenever she can, which has pluses and minuses. 

Longest drive you have ever been on? Savannah GA to San Francisco, CA in a UHaul

Furthest away from home you have ever been? Germany 

How many times have you moved house? God, I don’t even know. More than ten. 

What is on the floor of the room you’re currently in, not including furniture? Cat toys, unused canvases

How many devices do you own which can access the internet? Phone, computer, iPad, various game consoles 

Is there is anything that is guaranteed to always make you happy? Thomas and Jimmy <3 <3 

Is there anything that always makes you sad? Thinking too hard about being a failure

What programs do you currently have open? I just rebooted, so only Chrome, Spotify and Photoshop

What do you associate the colour red with? This line in the Kate Bush Song Blue Symphony, which goes, ‘I associate love with red, the color of my heart when she’s dead.’ 

Last strong smell you can remember smelling? The Greek food I ordered in for dinner

Last healthy thing you ate? Roasted veggies

Do you drink tea or coffee, and how much per day? I prefer tea, and I drink coffee for energy, though sometimes I think it just makes me crash harder. 

What do you associate the colour blue with? The sky

How long is the closest ruler you can find? 12 inches

What colour pants/skirt/etc are you currently wearing? Dark blue

When was the last time you drank water? About a minute ago

How often do you clear your browser history? Rarely

Do you believe nude photos can be artistic, rather than erotic? Yes

Ever written fanfiction for anything? Oh God, yes. You can still find it under Link Worshiper on AO3, though some of my ‘classics’ have been removed since I turned them into original manuscripts 

Last formal event you attended My cousin’s wedding

If you had to move your birthday to another date, which one would you choose and why? Maybe inch my birth year up just by two so that I’d stop being called a damn millennial. At my age, I really just don’t relate to the generation even though technicalities make me a part of it. 

Would you prefer to be at a beach or in the countryside? Beach

Roughly how many people live in your town? 52,000

Do you know anyone with the same birthday as you? Leonard Nimoy :D 

Favourite place to shop? Can be a certain store or a place where there are multiple stores I haven’t really gone shopping since the pandemic. Right now, it feels like the only place to buy anything is Amazon XD

Do you have a smartphone? What kind? If you don’t, do you want one? Samsung. It’s not a Galaxy but is a new model and a fraction of the price. 

What is your least favourite colour, and why? I don’t think I dislike any colors honestly. 

How do you spell grey/gray? Grey. I’ve got too many British online associates to ever go back. 

Go to your dashboard and describe the image shown in the radar section (below the “Find blogs” link) It’s Umbrella Academy fanart of Klaus. He’s in black and white with this hands over his eyes and the background is red. It’s very graphic. 

What difference is there between how many followers you have, and the number of blogs you follow? 736

How many posts do you have? 8,859

How many posts have you liked? I can’t find the stat D: 

Do you post mainly reblogs, or your own content? Mainly reblogs but I pepper in my own content when I can. Lately, I haven’t had time to do as much fanart though, and I kind of feel like it’s not worth bothering to post my original stuff. Nobody follows my blog for that. 

Do you track any tags? No. 

What time is it currently? 7:33 PM CMT

Is there anything you should be doing right now? Waking up @duoloopo. TIME TO JUMP ON THE BED. 

tagging, if they feel like it: @abbys-little-whippersnapper​ @bumblebarrow​ @irrationalgame​ @downtoncat​ @mab1905​ @duoloopo​

and everyone who I’ve forgotten

[raendown]

Gonna just do a bunch of these all at once. 

Quarantine Questionnaire tagged by @a-boy-named-mike

Are you staying home from work/school? From my one job, yes. I do go in to help sort the load for the route we purchased though since that’s an essential service and occasionally I actually go on the route so I’m in and out of stores all night. 

What movies have you watched recently? The Shape of Water, Constantine, Chicken Run, Incredibles 2, Hot Fuzz, Get Out, Shaun of the Dead.

What shows are you watching? Just finished re-watching The Good Place and desperately need the next season like right now. Also need more B99 to hit Canadian Netflix.

Are you a homebody? Yiss.

What music are you listening to? Nothing at the moment.

What are you reading? I have yet to finish An Absolutely Remarkable Thing by Hank Green becuse i keep getting distracted by fanfiction.

What are you doing for self-care? Trying to eat more veggies. Trying.

20 Questions tagged by @jadeisluck

Name: Rae

Nickname: Newest one is “The Boss” because fiance keeps telling everyone I’m the real boss of our company. 

Zodiac: Sagittarius 

Language: English

Favorite Season: Autumn

Favorite Flowers: White calla lilies 

Favorite Scent: I don’t really have one

Favorite Color: Emerald green

Animal: Wolves

Favorite Fictional Character: Senju Tobirama, Hermione Granger, Tony Stark

Coffee/Tea/Hot Chocolate: Tea, although Hotty Choccy is a close second

Average Sleep: Anywhere between 5-10 hours depending on if i have the next day off and where the moon aligns with the stars and if my cat feels like being a massive dick.

Dogs/Cats: Cats 4 lyfe

Blankets: Right now I have three blankets on my bed but I throw more on or take some off as the seasons change.

Dream Trip: Ireland or Scotland to explore the coasts, a world tour visiting all the most amazing libraries, The Sword and The Stone which is a blacksmith in CA who forges weapons from anime and TV shows and video games.

Blog Established: October 2016

Random Fact: My gotdamn foot is itchy again for the love of Yevon if it doesn’t stop itching I’m cutting the bloody thing off. >:( 

Get To Know Me Tagged by @yee-boii Some of these questions will have the same answers as above

Name: Rae

Gender: Binary Female

Star Sign: Sagittarius 

Height: 5'7″

Sexuality: Bisexual

Hogwarts House: Officially sorted in to Gryffindor, identify somewhere between there and Ravenclaw

Favorite Animal: Wolves

Average Hours of Sleep: Anywhere between 5-10

Current Time: 2:53am. Life is hard for a sleepy bitch when you have to flip your sleep schedule to go to work. -.-

Dogs or Cats: Cats cats cats cats!

Blankets you Sleep With: Three plus the sheets.

Dream Job: At this point I don’t even know. I do not dream of being employed. 

When I Made This Blog: 2016 so about a hundred years ago.

Followers: 2650. I swear I meant to do a raffle celebration at 2500 but I had so much going on. I wanna get to this collaboration I’ve promised to do and then hopefully I have some energy. if y’all got ideas for a raffle I’ve got open ears. I had a plan but I am more than willing to change it if the idea is good enough. 

Why I Made a Tumblr: Legit just to dive head first in to the Naruto fandom. No one I know irl watches the show. 

Reason For URL: It’s a pun on my name and the phrasal verb “rain down”.

Fanfic Authors Tag Game tagged by @malakia215

AO3 name: raendown

Fandoms: Naruto

Number of fics: 395. Although if you break the Soulmate Story Collection in to separate stories then it would actually be 602 and that’s still not including all the little ficlets on tumblr that never got cross-posted. This also does not include all the stories I wrote under a different name for other fandoms back in the day.

1. Fic I spent the most time on: War in Times of Peace

2. Fic I spent the least time on: If we’re talking raw time then probably Breathe which is less than 200 words so it took me no time at all. 

3. Longest fic: WITOP is the longest continuous one. 

4. Shortest fic: Breathe at 173 although there are shorter ones that never got cross-posted. 

5. Most hits: The SSC.

6. Most kudos: The SSC again.

7. Most comment threads: Once again...the SSC. I should have just disqualified it. xD

8. Favourite fic I wrote: God that’s hard to choose. Right now WITOP is like my CHILD but there are so many others that I love too.

9. Fic you want to rewrite/expand on: Not so much a story as a couple of series. I really want to write the next installment of the Amends to the Dead series as well as the next part of my Super Idiots series. 

10. Share a bit of a WIP or a story idea you’re planning on: I have a MadaTobi that I may or may not finish set in a modern au. Tobirama adopted Kagami as a baby and he later meets Madara, his son’s biological uncle who never even knew the child have been put up for adoption. They slowly integrate their lives - all for the sake of the child of course - and fall in love along the way. 

Here’s a little excerpt: 

“I am not obsessed, Izuna. Don’t you want to know too?” 

“Duh,” his brother’s voice crackled in his ear. Damn the poor reception here. “But we’ve basically exhausted all our options. We don’t have the right to demand information from the adoption agency.”

“Well I’m not giving up,” he exclaimed, pressing his pen in to the papers so hard he nearly left a hole instead of his signature. 

“You never do; you’re as stubborn as a goat,” Izuna said. Madara scowled as though his brother might feel his ire through the phone connection and cower in repentance. Unlikely, but a man could hope. 

“I’m hanging up on you.”

[balizardsnakething]

TW DRAMA AND ME ACTING ON MY EMOTIONS CAUSE OF THIS POST 

Granted I did post this after sending her an apology and I’m glad I now have official confirmation that she has seen said apology. The very fact that I have sent an apology means that I had got over the situation and just didn’t care about it anymore. I also tagged @toomanyfamdom because we thought it was ✨funny✨ and have gotten over the situation (unlike some). 

It should also be noted that I haven’t had any contact with Maddy since everything that happened and at least had the decency to send an apology and move on. Also, for the record, I had nothing to do with that list of toxicity. That list was put together and shown to me by my friends. I then continued to FORWARD THE SAME MESSAGE to Maddy because I disagreed with the list. 

Let’s see, shall we? Up first on the list of hell that I had nothing to do with (and disagree with) there is... “inconsiderate of time zones and peoples family life.” This eventually turned out to be accurate, not just for me but for many others. Madison would organise events like DnD games at UNGODLY hours in the morning (because she is in American time zones) and when us British people were unable to turn up she would kick them from the game and then proceed to shame their character for an hour. Granted her uncle did pass (im very sorry for your loss), but that had nothing to do with anything. Many of us (including myself) helped Maddy and were there for her, and I have plenty of messages to prove it. 

ANOTHER thing to do with time is when I was added to one of the greatest Instagram group chats in the world! However, my sleep was abruptly ruined when Maddy group-called the chat at 4am because she wanted to play Minecraft with a friend. Please direct call next time... thanks. 

Whilst on the subject of time family life, one of the most memorable things this girl did was shame me and attack me on one of the discord servers we were both on. What made this even worse was that I had an audition for a London West End theatre school which had the power to change my LIFE. And Maddy knew this and also knew that it was worrying me and that I was extremely stressed about it. You may say ‘oh, it's just a coincidence’. If you believe that please explain why said post tagged everyone and was posted 5 mins before my audition. Maddy knew this would stress me out, I spoke about the audition and my ability to read into things many times before and she knew this would get to me! A lot of the things Maddy did were petty shit, but then again, that’s who she is. 

Next up is... “shows blatant favouritism.” Well, it’s no surprise Maddy has so many friends! But which ones does she actually care about? My friends and I witness this first hand on many occasions, one of which being another DnD game where she was the dungeon master. Maddy made the turn order by (and I quote’, “the order is in who I love the most.” This caused some of us to feel a little uncomfortable, but we continued until Maddy put each character on a path to different destinations and explained which each path was. By the time it got to me, my dyspraxia/dyslexia couldn't hold the information, and I asked Maddy to explain them all again. Maddy agreed and but then ended with, “You just used up you go, Charley.” I was so confused! Apparently, explanations waste a turn??? But this was fine by me until Maddy explained the destinations to another player, but this time, she let them choose where they wanted to go instead of keeping them on the bench, awaiting their turn. Maddy would also allow people to have longer goes/round claiming that there was more to their story. My turn would be around 2mins where someone else would be 5. Again, petty shit which still happens to make people upset. 

Note: It was not just me who felt this way! Many others slid into my dms because they felt upset with how Maddy treated others but not themselves. 

Up next is, “making your best friend feel like shit for making a joke”. Another reminder, this list wasn’t written by me, it was written by my friend who was watching from the outside. And this is very true. I would often make jokes with people about Donald Trump and America because their laws and president (not anymore) were stupid. This always seemed to annoy Maddy and hurt her feelings. I would often make a throwaway comment but end up feeling bad about it because Maddy would leave the call. I always felt like I was walking on thin ice with her because if I said something even remotely controversial, she would not speak to me and leave the call. This really hurt me because I cared about my friends a heck of a lot and never wanted to ruin any relationships with them. I would send countless messages to Maddy, apologising and crying to her, telling her not to be mad at me. THAT 👏🏻 IS 👏🏻 A 👏🏻 TOXIC 👏🏻 RELATIONSHIP 👏🏻 One joke shouldn’t be the be-all and end-all of a friendship,, but that is what It always felt like! Also, Maddy never specified it was a trigger until recently, and even after she did say it was a trigger, I held back so she could feel comfortable. 

The final thing is: “made you feel bad for your emotions.” Madison needs to learn that EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT and that people deal with things in different ways. Not everyone is smart, sensitive or skinny like she is. Whenever anyone hurt my friends, I would lash out and act upon my emotions because I didn’t know what else to do. This is something Maddy heavily criticised me for and something that eventually resulted in me listening to high-frequency sounds so I could get rid of my emotions and feel numb. My logic was that I didn’t want to hurt anyone ever again by jumping the gun and acting upon emotion. But thanks to others, I was pulled out of that loop, and I’ve learnt to use logic and reason as well as emotion. 

As for “breaking my heart”. Yes. Our friendship ending did hurt me, a lot. Just like everything with you, it is very one-sided. I was reaching out, listening and trying to help Maddy repair relationships with people whom she’d hurt. We both said equally bad things which made the ‘relationship’ toxic, and I would just like to point out that the name, ‘evil Maddy’ is cringe and I’m ashamed I was ever friends with you considering you used that in a callout post. /hj

---------------

Sarcasm aside, ima be real here because I am not afraid to tell my side of the story. So, @ thenameisnoone / Maddy. Here is a long-ass response to the post you made about me. xx

Look, I’m not going to call you out or use Politics_notmything to cancel you because I’m not like that. I’m an actual good person who really tried with Maddy and dis my best to change myself to make her feel comfortable. I left a group chat with all my friends for a week and blamed it on ‘family issues’ because I didn’t want to make her feel uncomfortable. I made an entire Birthday PowerPoint for her, which included some of my best and favourite bootlegs. I made a genuine effort, but Maddy didn't really do anything else but tell me to “calm down” or “not throw everything away and give in to anger or despair and calm down until you can think rationally and make a logical decision”. 

And I’m glad I actually saw this because this is a classic Maddy move. She argues with people, builds up a situation then removes/blocks them, so they cant see everything she’s saying about them (i have proof of this from a server im in.) It has happened before, and she manipulated people into believing her side of the story. 

“I am allowed to block people who lie to me about serious topics even though they have trust issues which makes them unable, to tell the truth, if it hurts them. I am allowed to talk to people who blow up on me before hearing my side of things where they would have realised what they thought is wrong even though I dont get back to people until 3am and decide to leave them on delivered/read for days at a time when I am happily talking in other servers. I am allowed to block people who accuse me of shit-talking them with my friends who I introduced them to (and I never do that) when I have only defended them and said friends genuinely were being nice to them even if they have proof. I am allowed to block people. Period.” - Maddy 

And I’m not saying Maddy isn't allowed to block people. It’s a free world. Im just defending myself :) 

Granted, Maddy did defend me and say that this situation shouldn’t change anyone opinions on me, and I can say the same. Just because I had a terrible experience with Maddy, doesn’t mean she is a bad person and I encourage anyone online who loves women’s’ history and WATT to befriend her. 

But being honest, she did also call me a bitch on a Tumblr callout post, so I had to come and write this all down for safekeeping and reblogging purposes. Im not a bitch, and that is why I’m not using my following to cancel her. But anyway,  we both had some shit experiences with each other so you can read this and make up your own mind even though I did back her up with the previous call-out post, sent her my support, apologised and didn’t block her when she was at a bad time in her life or when she needed help. If anyone has a problem with me posting this, please contact me via DM. 

Sorry, not sorry ‘bout what I said. I’m just tired of your petty shit.

[dvp95]

quiet on widow’s peak (4)

pairing: dan howell/phil lester, pj liguori/sophie newton/chris kendall rating: teen & up tags: paranormal investigator, mystery, online friendship, slow burn, strangers to lovers, nonbinary character, trans character, background poly, phil does some buzzfeed unsolved shit and dan is a fan word count: 3.9k (this chapter), 13.5k (total) summary: Phil’s got a list of paranormal experiences a mile long that he likes to share with the world. Abandoned buildings, cemeteries, and ghost stories have always called his name, and a particular fan of his has a really, really good ghost story.

read this chapter on ao3 or here!

Phil did not invite Chris and Sophie to come to Rossendale with him. Not because he doesn't like spending time with them, but because he wouldn't know how to explain a situation to his parents that he doesn't even understand himself. To his knowledge, PJ also did not invite them.

"Change it," Chris whines from the backseat. He'd lost the scuffle against Phil to claim the front, and he's been complaining about Phil's music choices for half the trip so far in retaliation.

"You like McFly," Phil huffs, continuing his search for an album that won't elicit a loud sigh from behind him.

"That's fucking slander, is what that is. You hear that, PJ?"

"Oh, I hear you both," PJ says, flat. "Loud and clear."

They've only been driving for probably forty minutes and PJ already looks like he wants to kick them all out of his car. Phil doesn't exactly blame him, although he resents being lumped in with Chris in the 'annoying background noise' category.

He has no idea how they've managed to invite themselves along, but Phil was too polite and PJ was too smitten to tell them off when they came out to the car with their bags.

So, this is a group activity now. Phil's parents had been thrilled to hear it when he texted them the updated situation - they're taking it as a sign that Phil has a motley crew of good friends again, like he'd had as a kid and again in uni. He supposes that they're not wrong, exactly, but he's definitely anxious about introducing them to Chris.

"I like this song," Sophie says, mild, and Chris closes his mouth.

"Fine, this one is alright," he says begrudgingly. Phil glances at them in the rearview - Sophie is patting Chris' knee and giving him the sort of smile that always makes Phil feel like he shouldn't be present. He looks back down at his phone so he doesn't have to sit with that feeling too long.

PJ turns up the volume, probably to curb any more bickering before he has to toss them all out of his car, and Phil tries to just lose himself in the music for a little bit.

His friends sing along at varying levels of obnoxiousness and Phil tries not to keep opening the Tumblr app to see if someone has messaged him. Well, someone specific. I'm going north today!, is the last message sent between them, and Phil is still waiting for Winnie to offer to meet up or something.

After their non-starter interview, Phil and Winnie kept missing each other's free time to finish it over Skype. Phil kind of wants to hear more from them before he checks it out himself, but that's not looking likely at this point, especially if he's lugging his housemates along with him all weekend.

Phil opens a puzzle game on his phone and lets the mostly-mindless swiping distract him. It's a long drive up to Rossendale, and the last thing Phil wants is to be left alone with his thoughts.

--

Phil's parents love having guests round almost as much as they love to have him home, so Phil isn't at all surprised to walk in and smell a roast cooking. He expects that treats will be made as soon as the oven is free, because that's what his mum is like.

"Hello," Phil calls into the house, kicking off his shoes. His friends follow his lead - PJ puts his boots carefully on the mat that Phil didn't bother aiming for, and Sophie struggles with a particularly stubborn knot in her laces - as he hangs up his jacket. "Mum? Dad?"

"Child," his mum greets him happily, appearing in the entry to the kitchen and making grabby hands at him until he envelops her in a hug.

"Missed you," Phil tells her, quiet enough that his friends won't hear to make fun of him.

"Oh, I missed you," she says, giving him a kiss on the side of his face. She turns her beaming smile onto his housemates, who all pause in what they're doing like a frozen tableau. It's a little funny. "More children! Hello! I'm Kathryn, it's so nice to meet you. And so nice to see you again, PJ," she adds in that somewhat pointed voice that Phil hates so very much.

"Hello, Kath," PJ says, grinning wide. He gives her a hug, too. Chris holds out his hand for her to shake when she's done squeezing the life out of PJ, but Kath will have none of it.

"Don't be silly," she says, wrapping her arms tight around Chris' waist with a laugh. "We hug in this family."

"Really?" Chris asks, and the look he gives Phil is almost more embarrassing than if he'd asked 'so why isn't your son a hugger?' out loud. "Something smells absolutely delicious, Kathryn. Is that you, or is supper cooking?"

Phil stops himself from groaning out loud, but barely. He probably shouldn't be surprised at all that Chris' cheeky, flirtatious charm extends to mothers as well. Kath laughs and smacks lightly at Chris' chest before she turns to Sophie.

Skilled at making people feel comfortable in four seconds flat, Kath chatters away about supper and how lovely Sophie's curls are and how long it's been since she's seen Phil, did they know how long it's been? She herds them all into the kitchen like they're cattle and insists that Phil take their things upstairs while she puts the kettle on.

"Er, alright," Phil says, looking at the small collection of bags that they'd brought with them. Their clothes and toiletries are all there, of course, but so is all the filming and hunting equipment. He'll have to make at least two trips.

"Your father got the guest room and Martyn's room all set up before he went out," she tells him, either not noticing or ignoring his internal struggle.

Oh, wonderful. Phil had somehow forgotten about the part where they had three beds for four of them. He's positive that his housemates won't mind sharing with each other, but now he's been tasked with the anxiety-inducing puzzle of whose bags to put where.

"Okay," Phil says again, even though they've moved on to talking about their favourite kinds of cakes so that Kath can wow them all with her skills. He tries to catch PJ's eye, but PJ is too wrapped up in a conversation about strawberries to notice.

Alright, well. Phil grabs as many bags as he can carry and brings them upstairs, feeling some tension deep inside him get a little tighter as he notices that most of their personal effects are packed away, either in storage or already on the island, and his childhood home looks more like a show home than he's comfortable with. The stairs only creak a little under his weight, nothing like the old house in Brighton, but Phil still feels unsettled.

In the end, he throws PJ and Sophie in the guest room. It's a selfish move more than anything, because he's brought PJ for enough visits to be familiar with the way his parents look at each other every time PJ teases him.

They don't ask. They're not the type of people to pry, and Phil isn't the type of people to offer information unprompted. They've all been in this limbo for years where Phil doesn't tell them that he likes boys and they don't outright question if PJ is just a friend and, frankly, Phil is tired of it. So, Chris can sleep alone.

He takes his own bags up last, because he knows that stepping into his bedroom and seeing all the personality stripped from it is going to make him feel things he isn’t prepared to feel. Phil takes a deep breath before he goes inside, and releases it shakily as he drops his things on the floor.

The beige carpet is almost mocking him, telling him that it's time to grow up, and Phil leaves the room as fast as he can.

--

God it is so hard to get anything done here. Sorry to complain at you randomly but like... I forgot how hard it is to work when my parents are hovering and asking a million questions lmao

Winnie still hasn't responded to Phil's early morning message, but the frustration of his parents distracting him and his friends from their work is starting to get to him. Chris has completely charmed them, somehow, and both Sophie and PJ are too polite to put headphones on and ignore them the way Phil has decided to.

Surprisingly, he gets a reply right away: omg how have i never considered the fact that you had to tell your parents you wanted to hunt ghosts for a living thats so fucking funny also that sucks i live in a house full of students and i always have to go to the coffee shop to work on essays and shit

There's nothing good like that where my parents live. Your coffee place is in the city, right?

“No! He didn’t!” Chris is laughing, somewhere in the living room, and Phil has to turn up the white noise on his headphones. The idea of his parents and housemates trading embarrassing stories about him while he's holed up at the table with audio files he hates makes him itch.

yeah, Winnie says. Phil is so thrown off by the short message that his fingers pause on the keyboard.

Is he annoying them? He doesn't mean to. Phil thinks over the messages they've exchanged since talking on Skype, the wheel of worst case scenarios spinning quickly.

Before Phil can apologise or even really get his anxious mind to settle down, his laptop bloops again, once, twice, three times. Relief from the worry that Winnie doesn't like talking to him curls around Phil's shoulders, relaxing them.

It's a screenshot of Google Maps with an address pulled up, a different building circled in a bright blue. yeah i hella recommend and it's really close to wilkins as well, is the message accompanying the screenshot. Then, right afterwards, 10/10 hot chocolate if i do say so myself.

Phil isn't very big on hot chocolate on its own, but he is very big on quiet coffee shops.

It takes a lot of cajoling and promises that he won't be out too late for Phil to convince his parents that they'll be fine to drive to the city by themselves. His dad gets the same look on his face that he always does when Phil talks about work, but his mum merely pats his cheek and says, "Oh, love, be careful. I'll be cross if I have to get you from the police again."

"That was one time," Phil says, feeling his face flush as Chris looks at him with glee.

"One time too many," Nigel says, a bit too sternly to be a joke. Phil wonders if his friends pick up on it or if they just think he's banting like he's been all through supper, that same dry humour that Phil can see in Martyn making him funnier than his housemates had expected.

PJ and Sophie both laugh a bit, so... probably just Phil's knowledge of his dad making it more pointed than it really needs to be.

The coffee shop is open late, so Phil and his housemates decide to do some recon at the Wilkins place. The sun hasn't quite set yet, and the street isn't completely deserted or anything, so they have to wait for a good moment to leave the car.

They're careful. They've done this before.

The Wilkins place is an older townhouse in Rusholme with windows that have been boarded up since the early noughties because they kept getting broken. Technically, someone still owns the property, but the Wilkins family either didn't care about it or had forgotten it existed, because it's been abandoned as long as Phil can remember.

It also isn't very scary in his memory. It's draughty and has rats scurrying about, but the electricity and heating still worked, somehow, and the social situations he'd gotten thrown into at Martyn's shoulder were definitely more nerve-wracking than the house itself.

All of these things are still more or less true, according to everything Phil has been told, but when Phil climbs in through the loose boards of the kitchen window, the hairs on the back of his neck stand straight up. He hesitates for so long on the sill that Chris pushes a bit at him, reminding him to move before some annoyed neighbour calls the police.

It's dim inside but not so dark that Phil's eyes strain; the streetlights and setting sun filter in through the boards and showcase the dust covering every surface.

Phil helps Sophie and then Chris through the window, PJ giving them boosts from the outside. They take the various bags from PJ and Sophie immediately pulls out the camera, ignoring the thuds that PJ's feet make as he launches himself up and clambers in like a monkey.

"Sexy," Chris drawls as PJ nearly tumbles onto his face. He's grabbing out equipment of his own, and so Phil is tasked with getting PJ through the window safely.

"At least I've got a modicum of upper body strength," PJ says. Neither of them are bothering to whisper, and that's making Phil anxious.

He can't put his finger on it, but... it doesn't feel like they're alone in here. There's probably someone hiding out from the chill of late October in one of the various empty rooms, and Phil's worst case scenario wheel is spinning so fast it's making him dizzy.

"Do you hear that?" Sophie asks, hushed. That stops PJ and Chris from continuing their bickering, and all three men freeze as they strain for whatever it is that Sophie's hearing. After a moment of complete silence, Sophie shakes her head. "It stopped. Hopefully the mic caught it over you lot."

PJ looks appropriately abashed, but Chris just shrugs. He's got a flashlight and an EMF meter, and he slings one of the bags over his shoulder before disappearing.

This is technically for Phil's channel - they're checking the place out, and Sophie is filming just in case something happens - but Phil still feels weird when PJ ducks off in another direction and Sophie stays at his side instead of following one of her boys, camera steady in her hands and the tip of her nose pink from the cool air.

"What did you hear?" Phil murmurs, beckoning her further into the house. The sound of creaking wood is so loud, like it's right above their heads, and Phil can only hope that it's one of his friends going upstairs.

"It could have been the wind," Sophie says mildly. "Or rats."

"Is that what it sounded like?"

Sophie blinks up at him and her mouth twists in an emotion that Phil can't place. "No. No, it sounded like a person talking."

Yeah, that's what Phil was afraid of. "Someone might be living here," he whispers, focusing on the dark hallway and trusting that Sophie is following.

The creaking again, this time from beside them, and Phil peeks his head around the corner to confirm that the staircase is what he's hearing. Chris is halfway up it, flashlight off between his teeth as he grips the railing like he's afraid the stairs are going to give out under him.

Phil hates this part. He'd rather do this completely alone than have to herd his friends like sheep. He leaves Chris to his own devices and moves into the lounge. This is where the majority of the litter is, empty bottles and cans and crisp bags everywhere. Phil takes a couple photos of it all and sends them to Martyn.

Remember your friend who used to bring a garbage bag to every party? Looks like he was the only one lol

He pauses. All too aware of Sophie's eyes and possibly the camera lens on him, Phil sends the photo to Winnie as well with a different caption: Does it always look like this?

Neither of them respond by the time Phil has picked his way through the first floor, which is at least good for his focus, but it doesn't explain why the house feels so much different than it had seven or eight years ago. Phil feels unsettled here in a way that he doesn't usually get anymore, goosebumps down his arms that aren't from the cold and the constant, unnerving feeling that someone is looking at him from the shadows.

Phil's phone buzzes as he and Sophie debate in whispers if they should go upstairs. Phil hates leaving anything to someone else, even if it's just a few rooms that surely PJ and Chris are capable of exploring on their own. He's in the middle of trying to explain that to Sophie when his voice catches in his throat.

"Peej says we should go," Phil says, interrupting himself. "He found something weird in the attic."

"What's he doing in the attic?" Sophie hisses.

"Dunno. I didn't even know there was an attic."

"We should go, then," says Sophie, like that decides it. Although it does rankle a bit to be lower on the totem pole of his own project, Phil has to admit that Sophie is right. If PJ is saying that it's time to go, then it's time to go.

Phil climbs out of the window first, taking the equipment with him, and then helps hoist Sophie safely down. She's so small that it's not even a strain, really, even with how little exercise Phil gets. They wait, huddled together, and Phil feels some of the knot in his chest start to loosen when he hears Chris and PJ arguing in whispers before the window boards get slid out of the way again.

"What did you find?" Phil asks immediately, and PJ hushes him on his way down.

"Let's go, I'll tell you at the café," he whispers, leading the way down the pavement with strides so purposeful that Phil wonders if he's been in this area before. It's all the rest of them can do to keep up with him, and Phil spares a moment to feel sorry for Sophie and her short legs.

He hangs back with her and lets Chris keep pace with PJ. Chris is still talking at a silent PJ in a hushed, passionate tone, like he's fighting with a brick wall, and Phil doesn't need to be involved in that.

The coffee shop is only a couple of streets away, but the tension that the Wilkins place and PJ's subsequent discovery has brought to the group makes it feel much further. PJ stops in front of a purple door, and Phil has a begrudging respect for his ability to remember where something is after simply being told the address. The shop is small and a little dingy, but the lighting inside is soft through the narrow windows and there's a fireplace that Phil longs to curl up in front of like a cat.

Chris scowls at PJ and holds the door open for him in the same breath. Phil doesn't understand their relationship and at this point he's too afraid to ask, but he ducks into the inviting warmth anyway to try to get the goosebumps off his skin.

The two employees behind the counter look at the door like they've been caught with their hands in a cookie jar. A girl with brightly-coloured hair is holding a bunch of marshmallows, a hand poised mid-throw, and an unreasonably tall guy with an unreasonably large mouth is gawping as one of the marshmallows hits him in the chin.

"You missed," Phil informs them, grinning a bit as he unwinds his scarf.

"Oops," the girl laughs, setting the marshmallows down and pulling up a customer service smile. "What can I get for you guys?"

While PJ and Sophie pore over the menu and Chris starts asking if she'll throw marshmallows into his mouth if he asks very nicely, Phil's eyes drift to the other worker.

His mouth is still open, a bit, and his face flushes when their eyes meet. "Er," he says, glancing behind him as if Phil is looking at someone else, and that's so endearing that Phil is sufficiently distracted from the mystery down the street.

Phil isn't extremely self-conscious or anything, but he also knows he's not going to be the hottest guy in a room, so he's a bit flattered and a lot confused about this guy's reaction to him.

The thing is, the guy is very attractive. A couple of perfect curls poke out from under his cap, and there's some type of shimmer on his face that Phil could not put a name to if you paid him. He knows literally nothing about makeup, but he knows that it makes this giant of a man look softer and his blush even more obvious when it deepens.

"Hi," Phil says, giving him a little wave. He can still hear Chris chattering on and Sophie debating the merits of a hot chocolate versus a cappuccino, so he's pretty sure nobody is paying them any attention. The guy twitches like he wants to look over his shoulder again, but he stops himself.

"Uh, hi? Sorry to be, like, weird, I just - I didn't expect -"

The voice is familiar, the rambling is familiar, and then it clicks. "Oh, hi," Phil says again, warmer this time. He steps closer to the counter and grins up at them - an unusual thing in itself, since Phil doesn't meet many people taller than him. "You didn't mention that you work here."

Winnie's shoulders slump forward in a kind of relief, and they scratch the back of their neck, looking awkward and out of place even in an outfit that coordinates with the colour scheme of the whole shop. Phil looks the uniform over and immediately regrets it, because he didn't mean to see Winnie's name tag and now he feels weird about knowing something he wasn't actually told. He doesn't feel too weird about being here, though, because - well. Winnie had technically invited him.

"Honestly, I didn't know you'd be 'investigating' so soon," says Winnie. They're still blushing and the finger quotes are somehow cute, even though they're being used to poke at Phil's career. Their nails are dark and sparkly, and Phil desperately needs to stop noticing things about their hands. "I would have told you, probably, or I'd just - I dunno, try to make a better first impression."

"You're making a fine first impression," Phil assures them.

Winnie snorts. "Oh, bullshit."

"Phil," PJ says, nudging him. Phil suddenly remembers that there are, in fact, other people around him, and he can't just keep looking at Winnie's long, dark eyelashes. "What are you having?"

Honestly, Phil hasn't even looked at the menu. He's so easily distracted by pretty boys with big hands and - oh, right, he's got to be careful about that, even in his own head. Especially in his own head. Winnie isn't a pretty boy, he really shouldn't be thinking about them like that at all.

"Uh," Phil says eloquently. He's very particular with his hot drinks, usually, but he's got a lot going on in his mind right now and it's easier just to shrug at Winnie than to look away and think. "Dunno, actually. Surprise me?"

Winnie smiles, and Phil's stomach twists. "I can do that."

[mamabearcat]

What on Earthland did I just read?...

Soooo, I wrote this Nalu oneshot in response to this tumblr post. It was only gonna be a short drabble, but it got away on me. *shrugs* what else is new... tagging @shibukii and @fairywithajetblackheart because I said I’d deliver - sorry it took a little longer than expected. Rated T for kisses and Natsu’s language.

Lucy clapped excitedly as Max set up the new communications lacrima on her desk. “Max, you’re an angel. Thank you so much for helping me set this up. Warren is a genius.”

 Max smiled, blushing a little at Lucy’s compliment. “Yeah. Who would’ve thought him patenting that miniature communications lacrima could go so far huh? Ever since he sold his idea of a DeskComm, he’s been rolling in jewels. As if his head wasn’t big enough already”, Max joked.

 Lucy grinned. “Ah well, he’s the one that developed it, so it’s only fair. This is going to make contacting my editor in Crocus so much easier! I can’t believe that I can send her my manuscripts instantly without having to courier them to her.”

 Max nodded. “Yeah. People are sharing lots of information with each other that way. It’s going to make a huge difference to the way people interact with each other. Not only that, now it’s been combined with a typing interface, you can chat to lots of others at the same time. It’s become really popular, even with non-magic users. I set up an in-lacrima Fairytail guild, so we can keep in contact with everyone while they’re out on jobs. I also set up a space where Fairytail fans can chat to us and each other. You should check it out Lucy. I’m sure a lot of the fans would be very excited to talk to you!”

 “Really?” Lucy cringed a little. “I dunno Max. Since Team Natsu did that photoshoot for Sorcerer’s Weekly last month, some fans out on the street have been a little weird. Every time they see Natsu and I together, they’re whispering and nudging each other… it’s kinda creepy, to be honest.”

 Max shrugged. “I wouldn’t worry about it too much. If you’re concerned, you can give it a try without interacting with anyone outside the guild. Just see what they’re saying, and what information they’re sharing. There are a lot of artists and writers on there – you never know Lucy, you might really enjoy it.”

 Lucy’s eyes widened. “Other writers? Oh, I’d love the chance to chat to other writers! It can be so isolating sometimes, being stuck at a desk all the time without anyone to share ideas with. Can you show me how to get to it Max?”

 Max chuckled. “Sure thing Lucy.” He typed into the lettered keypad sitting on her desk, and the glass sphere cradled in its brass holder glowed. Small jewel coloured lights spun within the circle, and Lucy recognised the Fairytail emblem as one of them. “You just need to touch the Fairytail emblem within the glass – here, you do it, because it will recognise traces of your magic aura and let you in. That’s it.”

 The screen changed to show a picture of Lucy; the one on file at Fairytail as her ‘official’ picture for potential clients. Lots of other pictures were all in a line down one edge – some she recognised as fellow guild members, but others where unfamiliar. There was an image of the outside of the guild hall, and an image of the inside. Max pointed them out to her. “Here you go. Only guild members can access this area inside the guild, and you can chat to them if they’re there at the same time as you, or you can leave them messages. Non-members can access the outside of the guild – there’s a shop where they can buy Fairytail merchandise and a place where they can talk to each other.”

 Lucy clapped her hands. “Wow, Max, this is amazing. So you said that I can go on there without interacting with anyone, right? Won’t they know that I’m there if they see my picture?”

 “Ah.” Max pointed at her picture. “Just tap on it Lucy.” Lucy’s picture changed to a big smile. “That shows that you’re in the room and you want to talk. Tap it again.” Lucy’s picture changed so her eyes were closed - she looked as if she were asleep. “That shows that you’re out of the room. But I’ve set it up so that you can still see what people are talking about. If you want to join in the conversation, just tap it again.” Lucy gave him a big hug.

 “Thank you so much for coming over and helping me with this Max. You do so much for the guild behind the scenes – I hope you realise how much we all appreciate you!” Max returned the hug briefly then stepped away, rubbing the back of his neck a little self-consciously, but smiling widely.

 “Thanks Lucy. I’m gonna head over to Fairy Hills now. Erza has given me special permission to visit so I can set up deskcomm lacrimas over there for a few girls, but if I miss the timeslot she suggested, there’ll be hell to pay.” They both shivered a little, imagining Erza’s wrath.

 Lucy tapped her lips in thought. “Oh, I know”, she grinned. “Stop in at the guild on your way there and get a slice of Mira’s strawberry cheesecake for Erza. That should put her in a good mood.”

 Max chuckled. “Good idea. Well, it was nice seeing you Lucy!” He waved and stepped out of the apartment, closing the door behind him, and Lucy sat down excitedly at her desk. What should she do first? She tapped on her image so it ‘woke up’ and clicked on the in-guild icon. She was momentarily taken aback at the long string of insults in the chat space, but then rolled her eyes when she realised it was Natsu and Gray talking. She stretched her fingers and got to work.

 Lucy H: Can’t you idiots keep the insults to yourselves for a change? And, Hi!

Natsu D: What? Who’s that? Oh, it’s you Luce. Hi yourself weirdo.

Lucy H: Natsu, that nickname was getting old years ago. Can’t you think of something more original?

Gray F: Yeah, dumbass. Can’t you think of something… oh wait, no you can’t because you’re a dumbass. Hi Lucy! This is pretty cool huh?

Lucy H: Yes, it is Gray. Don’t you think you’re wasting it though, just using it to type insults at each other?

Gray F: No.

Natsu D: Nup. I just see ice prick’s face and it’s automatic.

Gray F: You shut up, fire eating trash can!

Natsu D: Ice sparkling snow princess!

Gray F: Slow combustion ass wipe!

Natsu D: Pretty boy ice-for-brains!

Lucy H: Ugh. I’m not staying for this. I hear it enough in person. See you later at the guild!

 Lucy left a welcome message for Levy, Erza, and Juvia, then looked at the other icon, where the non-guild members chatted. Maybe she could just take a little peek? Just to see what they were talking about? Biting her lip, she tapped her image again so it changed to ‘sleeping’ and clicked on the exterior guild image.

 An avalanche of words crossed her screen. It was a bit disconcerting – so many people were chatting at once. Words whirled across the screen in a tangle, but gradually she realised that there were different threads of conversation. She started unravelling the different chats with interest. One group was talking about who would win in battles between the male mages of Fairytail. Another was talking about when the Grand Magic Games were going to be held that year, and who Makarov might choose to go. And yet another was talking about the recent magazine article with Team Natsu.

 Rose P: I loved that outfit that Erza was wearing. You hardly ever get to see her in something so pretty. That dress was so cute, and the sunhat just made it, ya know?

Claire D: I know! And they actually got some photos of Gray Fullbuster wearing clothes *giggles* I mean, but seriously, that man is a dish. I don’t know how the women at the guild work with him without melting into a puddle.

Alice O: I agree! Although, I prefer Natsu. That grin of his, with the fangs! Ugh. And even though he’s not as tall as Gray, he’s so muscular. Oh. My. Gods. I mean, that photo with him and Lucy, where he’s holding her in his arms? So. Hot. And the way he was looking at her, as if he could eat her up? And the way she was looking up at him and smiling at him? Adorable. Nalu forever.

Rose P: Oh, I loved that picture! That was my *favourite*. It inspired me to write another Nalu fanfic. You wanna read it?

Claire D: YES!! Gimme gimme!

Alice O: Rose!!!! You. Are. The. Best. Really, what would we do without you feeding our Nalu addiction?

Rose P: Jeez, settle down you two! Okay, here’s the link.

 Lucy pulled back from the deskcomm, wide-eyed and blushing. What on Earthland did she just read!? Nalu? She could only assume it was a combination of both her and Natsu’s name. And exactly what picture where they talking about?

 She moved over to her coffee table to pick up the latest edition of Sorcerer’s Weekly, flicking through the pages quickly to get to the article. Jason had called in a favour – the team he was going to do an article on had pulled out, due to an urgent mission, and he needed another team to spotlight. Team Natsu had agreed, as long as they got a free meal out of it. So they had met at a local restaurant near the canal for lunch, and as Jason requested, had dressed up for the occasion, the boys in dark pants with buttoned shirts and rolled up sleeves, and the girls in summer dresses. 

Erza had gone all out, wearing a yellow patterned sundress with a large hat. Wendy had looked particularly cute in a little baby pink dress with a lace collar, and Charle had a matching outfit with a perky pink bow on her tail. Happy was wearing a green vest, and Lucy had worn a strapless sky-blue dress with lace edging.

 The interview had been fairly painless, all the usual questions about teamwork, and how they managed to get along so well, and their favourite foods and so on. The photographer had snapped photos while they were talking and eating lunch, and then they’d walked down to the park to take a few more shots as the sun set. Lucy had been walking along the top of the wall on the edge of the canal, as she usually did, when her heel caught on a cracked stone. She had slipped, and Natsu had caught her. That must be the photograph the girls chatting had been talking about.

 She examined the photo carefully, trying to see it with an outsider’s eye. It certainly looked romantic. The sun was setting behind them, the water in the canal was sparkling, and Natsu had his arms around her as if he were carrying a princess. He was looking at her intensely, the way he often did when he came to her rescue. But that was just… Natsu. And yes, she was smiling at him, with her arm resting on his shoulder, but that was just because he’d stopped her from falling on her arse and embarrassing herself. There wasn’t anything romantic about it. It was just how they were. They were close friends. Best friends. As close as any friends could be. He was always there for her. Always. Just like she would always be there for him.

 She smiled at the photo, stroking the image of Natsu’s face with her forefinger, feeling that warmth that she always did when she thought of him. Her life had changed for the better in so many ways since that day she had met him in Hargeon years ago. They had gone through so much together. Some of it dark and dangerous. But the bond they shared after coming though it was stronger than any relationship she’d ever known. She put the magazine down and walked back over to her desk, sitting to look at the screen again.

 Claire D: OMG!!! Rose, I’m dying. I think I’m actually gonna die. That was so freakin’ good! So hot! Man, I think my deskcomm is gonna burst into flames any second.

Alice O: ^^^^ I second that. You really know how to deliver the goods. Rose, your fanfics are so amazing! You really should write professionally, you know that?

Rose P: You guys!! I’m blushing, seriously. I’d love to write professionally, but… I don’t know. And Lucy’s my idol – the way she’s combined working as a mage with a writing career too? It’s just… how can one person be so talented!!! And she’s so pretty too. If she ever read any of my stuff I know I’d just die. I just love her and Natsu so much – I just want them to be happy.

 Lucy’s cheeks felt like they were on fire, and she patted them with her cooler hands, trying to calm down the burn. This was too much. She felt equal parts embarrassed and proud, and her stomach was doing flips. Should she read what this girl had written? Her heart beat faster as she moved her finger over to tap on the link, hovering above it. She screwed up her eyes and her courage, and tapped.

 Okay. She sighed in relief as she read. This wasn’t so bad. Her and Natsu were walking along, chatting. That was okay. Now they were holding hands. That was still okay, they did that all the time. Well, usually it was because he was dragging her someplace, but still within the realms of what she was comfortable with. Now he was… oh, um. A little cheek stroking was fine, she guessed. And… kissing!? Not just a little peck either. Hot kissing. Full on tongue kissing, and his hands were… eep!

 Lucy shut her eyes tight, squirming a little on the seat as she fought to control her needy reaction to the sexy words on the screen. This was… if she were honest with herself, in her daydreams her and Natsu had kissed more than once. More than kissed actually. But those were just daydreams. Because, lets face it, Natsu was oblivious. He loved her, yes, but he wasn’t in love with her. And she loved him, and the small part of her heart that wanted to take things further in a romantic way, she’d carefully well and truly smothered. It was only when she was alone, in certain private moments, that she let her imagination take full flight and picture how they might be together.

 Taking a deep breath, Lucy opened one eye and squinted at the screen as if it were a dangerous object that might explode at any moment. It looked like she was half-way through the document. And even though the subject matter was making her heart beat a million miles a minute and making her feel more than a little hot under the collar, it was actually well written. If it were about somebody else, anybody else, she’d be raving about it too! It wouldn’t be fair to not read the rest, would it? She opened her other eye and began reading again, leaning forward to give it her full attention, her heart beating faster.

 “Watcha doin’ Luce?”

 Lucy shrieked and leaned over the desk, trying her best to cover the glowing words on the lacrima orb. She turned around slowly, leaning backwards with her hands gripping the desk edge, her face a violent shade of pink. Almost as pink as her partner’s hair, the partner standing right there in front of her. Obviously she’d been so engrossed in her reading she hadn’t heard him come in the window. 

 “Oh, um, ha ha, hi Natsu” she stammered, blocking his view with her body as he tried to peer over her shoulder. “Um, weren’t you busy chatting with Gray?”

 “Nah, that got old quickly. Typing out insults is much harder than actually sayin’ ‘em. I’ll just save ‘em up for next time I see him at the guild.” Natsu took in her flustered appearance and her efforts to hide the screen from him. “Soooo, what’s on the screen that’s so exciting you’ve got to hide it from me Luuu-seeeeee?” He grinned at her, as she spread her arms out and attempted to block his view even further. “Are you writin’ somethin’ that’s pervy? Wait ‘til I tell Happy.”

 “Noooo! I didn’t write it! I mean, I’m reading it. I mean, I wasn’t sure what it would be about but someone wrote a story about us and then I was interested but I don’t think it would be anything you’d be interested in so I’ll just…”

 “Someone wrote a story about us! Cool, I wanna see.” Natsu picked Lucy up as she tried to cover the screen and put her behind him, and then grabbed her hands as she jumped up and down behind him, trying to cover his eyes. He sat down at Lucy’s desk and dragged her hands downwards so her arms hung over his shoulders, both wrists secured by his larger hand against his chest. He used the other to tap the screen.  “Quit it Luce! Lemme just scroll to the top here. Well, this is borin’ so far. There’s no fights or anythin’… oh.” Lucy blushed even brighter as they reached the kissing scene, waiting for Natsu to stop reading in disgust. But he kept reading.

 Both their eyes widened as the scene on the page continued. Lucy could feel Natsu’s heart hammering against her hand, and he gulped as his eyes scanned the page, where on screen Natsu and Lucy got up close and personal wearing a lot less clothing than they had at the beginning of the story. Lucy’s own heart was thumping so loudly she was sure that Natsu could hear it, she was almost sure she could hear it. She squirmed against Natsu’s back, trying to get her hands free, but his grip on her wrists was firm. They both kept reading until the scene reached it’s logical conclusion. Safe to say that on screen Natsu and Lucy were feeling a lot happier and more satisfied than real life Natsu and Lucy were currently.

 Natsu gulped again, shifting a little uncomfortably on Lucy’s chair. “Well, that was… you said you didn’t write this?”

 Lucy shook her head and buried her face into Natsu’s shoulder. “No, it was written by a fan.”

 “So people outside the guild see us that way too? Huh, figures.”

 Lucy raised her head. “What do you mean?”

 Natsu turned his face to look at her. They were so close their noses were almost touching. “Luce, there’s been a betting pool on how long it would take for us to get together since about three weeks after you joined the guild.”

 “Whaaaaat!” screeched Lucy. Natsu screwed up his eyes tightly and grunted.

 “Fucking hell Luce, go scream into my other ear as well, then I’ll be totally deaf!”

 “Sorry, sorry!” Lucy whispered. “But there’s a betting pool on us?”

 “Sure is. Cana runs it. She has heaps of betting pools going. How do you think she affords all the booze she drinks?”

 Lucy blinked. “That explains a lot, actually”, she said slowly. She looked at Natsu’s still pink cheeks, then looked downward, examining her carpeted floor with interest. “Um, Natsu? Have you ever…” she chewed her bottom lip. “Never mind.”

 “Have I ever thought about you and me… together?” replied Natsu, his voice husky. “Sure I have. I’d have to be made of ice not to have thought of you that way. You’re pretty easy on the eye Luce.” He grinned at her, his cheeks flushing darker again. “Sooo, have you…”

 “Yes. Quite a lot actually.” Lucy bit her lip nervously again as their eyes widened. They stared at each other and looked away quickly. Natsu’s thumb drew slow circles on Lucy’s wrist.

 “Say Luce”. He swallowed nervously, then continued. “If you’ve thought about it, and I’ve thought about it, how come we never…”

 Lucy glared at him. “How was I supposed to know Natsu? You’ve never done anything to make me think that you had that kind of interest in me.”

 Natsu grumped back at her. “Yeah, well, I wasn’t the one dating half the population of Magnolia Lucy.”

 Lucy’s eyebrows rose so high up on her forehead they nearly disappeared into her hairline. “What!” she screeched. “I’ll have you know, since I joined Fairytail I’ve gone on… five dates. FIVE! In how many years? And that’s only because my partner had the romance of a… of a… a rock has more romance in it than you Natsu Dragneel!”

 Natsu’s hand tightened around Lucy’s wrists and he scowled. “Is that right? So, seein’ I’m so fuckin’ hopeless in the romance department, if I asked you out on a date now, you wouldn’t go?”

 “YOU WANNA DATE ME?!”

 “YES I DO!”

 “FINE!”

 “FINE!”

 Natsu let go of Lucy’s hands and swung his arm around Lucy’s waist, pulling her onto his lap, as his other hand cupped her chin, guiding her face towards his. Their lips met, pressing hard against each other, Natsu’s heated tongue slipping into her slightly opened mouth, twisting against hers, making her moan. Her hands twined around his neck, her fingers tugging his pink locks desperately. At first the kiss was ferocious, as years of pent up yearning was released; a battle of lips and tongues fuelled by mutual desire. Lucy’s fingers thrust through Natsu’s hair as she made small needy whimpers, and Natsu’s fingers clutched her hip so tightly she was sure there would be bruises later, but she didn’t care. He pushed her down tightly into his lap, the hard evidence giving her ample notice of exactly how much he was enjoying their kiss. This was finally happening. All those daydreams she had thought would never come true. All that time spent pushing down her feelings. All those lonely nights when she had sobbed into her pillow when he had left her behind for a year, not knowing where he was, or even if he were still alive. Those days were over. If he thought she would ever let him leave without her now…

 Their foreheads rested against each other as they paused to take a breath, both gasping for air. Natsu chuckled, cupping her face with both hands, rubbing her nose affectionately against his. “Lucy”, he rumbled, “I’ve wanted to do that for so long. You have no idea how long I’ve wanted you.”

 Lucy smiled back, her eyes full of stars. “Well, maybe you should have, then we would have been doing it much sooner.”

 Natsu leaned back, quirking an eyebrow at her. “Oh really, Miss ‘get outta my bed, don’t look I’m changing Natsu you pervert’… That was kinda discouraging Luce.”

 Lucy pouted, then grinned back. “Well, a girl’s gotta keep up appearances, you know. I don’t let just anyone see me in my underwear.”

 Natsu leaned closer, his hot breath ghosting over her neck, making Lucy shiver. “What would you say if I said I’d like to see that now Lucy?” he said softly, his voice deepening, thumbs stroking her cheeks as he bounced her a little on his lap with the strength of his thighs.

 Lucy wrapped her arms around his neck again, raining soft kisses over his face. “I’d say… kiss… try your luck... kiss... Natsu… kiss… you never know… kiss… what a new day might bring…”

 “Oh really?” Natsu drawled, his chest rumbling with a growling purr.

 “Yes, oh really…” Lucy grinned, then shrieked as Natsu lifted her up over his shoulder, balancing her with one hand. He flipped up her skirt and slapped then squeezed one underwear clad bottom cheek as he marched towards her bedroom. “I’d say I’m feelin’ lucky today Lucky Lucy Heartfilia. Whaddya say?”

 “Natsu you pervert!” she squealed as she dangled over his shoulder, giggling madly. She pinched him hard on his behind as they went through the door. He kicked it closed with a chuckle, shutting out the world.

 _______________________________________________________________

 Rose sighed as she walked in the door to her parents’ home. She kicked off her boots and hung up her jacket on the hook in the hallway. The other baker’s assistant had called in sick today, staying home to nurse a bad cold, and it had been hard managing the workload alone. Even though she quite liked her job, it wasn’t what she wanted to do forever. She wandered into her bedroom to put away her bag, and was surprised to see a large box sitting on her bed. “Ma, what’s this?” she hollered.

 Her mother came down the hallway, drying her hands on a teatowel. “Oh Rosie, you’re home. That box came for you today. Were you expecting anything?” Rose shook her head, and sat down eagerly on her bed, wanting to see what was inside. She tore open the packaging and gasped. The entire box was full of Fairytail merchandise, banners, posters, plushies of Team Natsu, and some postcards. “Oh my goodness! Who would have sent this to me!”

 Her mother looked just as surprised as she did. “It was delivered by a courier – I had to sign for it, but I didn’t notice who sent it. Is there a letter or anything with it?”

 Rose, sorted through the merchandise, pausing to hug each plushie with delight, then noticed the postcard with a photo of Natsu on it had some writing on it. Eagerly she swept it up, doing her best to decipher the messy scrawl above his signature.

‘Yo, Rose – you’re doin’ great work, keep it up!’

She looked at it, overjoyed to have something handwritten and signed from Natsu, but puzzled by its meaning. She turned over the other postcards, and her heart nearly stopped when she saw the flowing cursive on the back of the photo of Lucy Heartfilia.

‘Dear Rose – I just wanted to let you know your writing shows real talent. In fact the story I read was very inspirational! Don’t ever give up. Keep writing every day; the sky’s the limit! With much love, Lucy xx.’

There was a cute heart drawn underneath the writing, enclosing the letters ‘NaLu’.

 Rose shrieked and clutched the postcard to her chest, burying her face into her pillow as her laughing mother looked on, used to her daughter’s over the top personality. “Oh. My. Gods. Mama, call the hospital. I’m gonna diiiiiieeeee!”