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#i love him so much you cant imagine
yourloveinred · 1 month
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I LOVE HIM YOUR HONOR!!!
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ellasgarden1 · 10 months
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i guess its time to reveal my genshin oc. i have been kinda hyperfixated on him for the past year but only starting to talk about him now since genshin is the main fandom im focused on at the moment.
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this is Remi, he is the organist of the Favonius Cathedral, cryo catalyst user, vampire and is just a nice guy with existential crisis (/hj)
his story is kinda complicated and may be illogical in terms of lore?? but i like it that way
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in short, Remi used to be a normal organist in another world. due to some events he got killed and basically got isekaied(?) by his local gods to Teyvat as a vampire with amnesia. he went through a lot of struggles regarding his past and current purpose in life and eventually embraced his fate thanks to music and the Mondstadt people (and ofc Barbatos). this is a really brief summary so it may sound weird haidhdkhddh if anyone is interested i can tell more (will anyone even see this post?)
also im not really an isekai enjoyer myself but i went with this trope because i think that Aloy's vision is super pretty... and she is.. not from Teyvat at all.. so i decided to make him from another world too. yeah. the things we do for aesthetics.
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(oh look the vampire trio from the church)
some information about him: 1. he loves romance novels; overally has romantic view of world, easily gets affected by negative emotions. church really helped him to compose himself. 2. beside playing organ he is also a good singer and pianist. sometimes performs at taverns during free days. 3. Remi chose his name himself while trying to find a new one at the library but not from a book. he heard someone singing outside the window and unconsciously started naming notes he heard. do-re-mi-fa-so-la-ti. Re-mi. lol. he was very confused how he remembered all this musical knowledge but went with it anyways, it just felt right. 4. he still doesn't remember shit from his past life (except music) but it doesn't matter for him anymore. 5. on his first (and worst) day in Mondstadt Remi got arrested and got put in solitary confinement for attaking one of the knights (he is alive dont worry). knights decided to give Remi a chance and allowed him to live in Mondstadt (because its best to get the potential enemy on your side before anything worse happens?). 6. loves dressing up (not because i cant come up with one default outfit, yeah)
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justaz · 4 months
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merlin (immortal) giving arthur (pendragon) the only blade that could kill him
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hellfire--cult · 7 months
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thinking about how Eddie would love on you like no man has ever done before
thinking how he would say sorry for things he didn't even do wrong and you have to remind him that he is not always at fault
thinking how he would act in public with you, showing you off, kissing your hand, and even with friends with his arm around your shoulders
thinking how he would be loving when intimate, but also dominant and possessive if the night is right for it
thinking how he would be excited to move on from his past story to start anew with you
thinking how happy he would be by you just baking some cookies in the kitchen
thinking how grateful he is for having you in his life
thinking how he never thought he'd find someone at all, and yet there you were
thinking how he would risk everything for you, without asking for anything back
and the thing is, and he doesn't know, that you think, do and would do everything that was said above.
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ruporas · 1 year
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lonely
[ID: A limited palette of green and pink, Vashwood comic. The first page serves as a prologue. The first panel shows Vash speaking to someone off screen while Wolfwood is lingering behind him. A black arrow is drawn pointing at him. In the second panel, Vash is buying donuts in the distance while Wolfwood is once again in view, lingering. and the black arrow is drawn pointing at him. In the third panel, Vash is leaving a cubicle and turning towards his right with a slightly peeved expression. He sees Wolfwood, leaning against the cubicle, waiting for him, and with the black arrow drawn, pointing at him, implicating the consistent hovering of Wolfwood’s presence during Vash’s everyday. At the bottom of the page, they’re drawn out of panel with Vash turning to Wolfwood and saying with an irritated expression, “You’re really following me everywhere, huh?” Wolfwood responds, “What, you got a problem?” Vash responds without hesitation, “Yeah, kinda...”
The second page starts with a new day. In the first panel, Vash is seen alone, weighing apples in his hands at a mart, with crowds passing behind him. In the second panel, he turns to his right and starts to say, “Hey, Wolfwood...” In the third panel, he’s startled from seeing a stranger, whom he’d accidentally called out to when he was expecting to see Wolfwood. He says, “Oh, you’re not him. Sorry!” In the fourth panel, the stranger walks off and Vash muses, “Right, he said he had something to do today...”
The third page begins with a close up of Vash's miffed expression, the continuation of Vash's thoughts, "Now that he's not here, this is just like how I used to be, but... It feels lonely somehow. Oh well, I'll see him again tonight, like always." In the second panel, it shows Vash walking through the marketplace crowd, alone. In the third panel, the door panel is a close up of the door opening with a peek of Vash's head. He says, "Wolfwood!" In the fourth panel, Vash is holding a bag of food with a bright smile and says, "Are you hungry? I got you something to eat today!"
The fourth page begins with a shot of the room, two beds being highlighted, one of them being made properly with the blanket draped over the bed and the other with the blanket folded and pillow sitting on top of it. There's no sign of Wolfwood. The second panel shows Vash with a disappointed look as he thinks, "He's still not here?" The third panel shows Vash putting the bag of food on the table. Stapled to the paper bag is the receipt with a written note "For Wolfwood." Vash's thoughts continue "He does like to stay out so, I guess there's no reason to worry..." The fourth panel shows Vash sitting his bed somberly with his thoughts continued, "It's not any of my business anyway..."
The fifth page starts with a close up his blank expression as he looks downwards, thinking, "Even if he left completely... That'd be understandable and better for him. I'll just travel alone again... like before... Huh?" The next panel shows Vash's composure break, tears welling up in his eyes suddenly, as he didn't expect to cry. He starts to sob, putting his hands to his face to quiet himself and wipe at his tears, as he says, "Ugh... Dammit... I miss h..." The last panel shows Vash leaning over into his hands, still crying, and in the back, the door swings wide open with a bam as Wolfwood walks through with the punisher swung behind him. He shouts, "SPIKEY! You in here?!"
The sixth page starts with Wolfwood confused, looking at Vash and Vash looks back, just as confused, with tears in his eyes and snot out of his nose. Wolfwood starts saying, "Ah? You..." No longer in panels, at the bottom of the page, Wolfwood takes the Punisher off of himself and starts to walk towards Vash, continuing with slight concern, "What's wrong with you? Did something happen?" Vash, hurriedly begins to wipe at his tears, denying immediately, "No! No, I'm fine! Nothing happened!"
The seventh page, Vash points towards the table, with a hand still wiping at his tears and he smiles as he says, "I uh got you food. On the table." Wolfwood looks towards to the table and responds, "Oh. I was getting hungry, thanks." He turns his head back to Vash immediately after with an uncertain expression, knowing the other wasn't responding to his concern, and says, "But, I know you're an idiot with this stuff, so I'm reminding you again. Don't brush it off if it's an issue, alright?"
The eight page, Vash's tears have dried and he looks to Wolfwood with a soft smile and responds, "Yeah. It's okay though..." A panel at the center shows a side view of Vash approaching Wolfwood. At the bottom of the page, with no panel, is a close up shot of Vash's hand, holding onto the edge of Wolfwood's jacket sleeve, as he says, "Because you're here now. Wolfwood."
The final page is a back shot of both of them standing next to each other, Wolfwood's head tilted slightly to the left, not fully believing Vash as he says, "That doesn't answer anything, Spikey." Vash responds, "There's no need to talk about it! You should enjoy your food. Let's have a drink too?" Wolfwood responds, "Tsk, tsk. Fine, yeah. I could use one." END ID]
#vashwood#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#trigun#trigun maximum#but onto this comic... i think and talk a LOT about vash's loneliness bc trigun is just. kind of central on that for a good while! esp in#the original manga he was alone for a good portion of it and he tends to keep others away like how he ran away from meryl and milly when#they tried to tag along. and he was kind of bothered when he realized ww was following him around Too. at the core even though he loves#humans and he loves deeply the people he does know -- he isnt really much of a people person and i think thats been the case since he was#young considering his initial doubts towards humans... with the exception of kids bc kids dont give him moral conflicts. so suddenly#here comes wolfwood!!! his guide. someone TRULY affixed to him until he has to get to knives. someone who isnt budging and someone whos#really good at following him around and even seems like he goes like 5 steps ahead to make sure vash doesnt run on him#in one way its - i don't want you to follow me bc i don't want to burden you and i don't want you to kill the people i want to save.#in another way its - i like this companionship. i like waking up to you and i like ending the way with you. i like talking to someone who#knows my world. i like being in your space and sometimes i enjoy talking about our day#theyre just living together. like. roadtrip buddies or theyre also under the same roof because they're going everywhere together.#trimax they mainly spend their mornings together and if they had personal business attend the other person would usually know and itd only#be during the midday. anyway bc of this kind of companionship i figure that vash eventually grew accustom to it and he really. cant go back#to the kind of loneliness from before. it's harder to imagine and it'd be harder to withstand. esp after 2 years with lina and her grandma.#ruporas art
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slavhew · 2 months
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And I just have to tell you that I
Love you so much these days,
#homestuck#dirk strider#bgd#brain ghost dirk#jake english#dirkjake#hs2#homestuck^2#homestuck 2#hsbc#homestuck beyond canon#homestuck epilogues#candy epilogue#admin draws#fanart#i cant even pretend im normal about my own art or this song im sorry#im tryna think of something to say abour this and i keep thinking about the lyrics and i GRGRHHHHFHFJG#i dunno man. i love plastic beach. i cant say anything here that is not gallbladder-achingly cheesy#but just. i dont know.#jake keeping a little bit of dirk in his heart all those years. even if bgd is 'all' jake hes still in the memory he carries#when i listen i find myself stuck between which singer/verse should be jake and which should be dirk. but the answer is simple#theyre both both.#jake thinks hes the one singing abour getting abandoned. but really hes the one losing himself in the substance#and dirk. dirk is the one watching him lose himself. but since hes just a part of jake. yeah.#'i have to tell you that i love you so much these days' both as something jake is saying to dirk and what jake wishes dirk was there to say#hes so alone in that reality. even if he might not admit and go so far as to imagine dirk saying it. its something that deep down#he aches to hear. the man who has deemed himself unlovable and incapable of love. he still wants to hear it despite himself#he still wants to say it despite nnot being able to bring himself to even process that emotion#sigh. see what happens. i cant talk aboht it bc a single line turns intoTHIS
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onthemerits · 10 months
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no one told me that the simone-karl plot from why women kill would rip my heart out and stomp it into little itty bitty pieces
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hecksupremechips · 5 months
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Mizuki and Date though like. Imagine being 8 and your parents are filthy rich and going through a bad divorce. Your mom treats you like shit, lashing out at you, hitting you, saying she wishes you were never born all because you were behaving like a child. Your dad is more comforting, but he doesn’t do anything to stop the abuse and he spends his time invested in a completely different family, a girl who you love and look up to but he loves her more than you and it fucking shows. Then your dads new friend, some fucking bachelor in his late 20s, is just like "wow you guys are the worst fucking parents ive ever seen" and next thing you know your dad is sending you off to live with him. And it’s just a massive kick in the head cuz you go from a rich lifestyle to living in some really shitty tiny ass apartment with this guy who’s clearly never been around a child in his entire life and he doesn’t know how to behave and does a really bad job of censoring himself like he has a bunch of dirty magazines that he can’t hide very well cuz it’s literally a studio apartment and also he talks to himself sometimes, it’s really weird. He doesn’t even have the slightest clue what he’s doing
And he’s the best parent you’ve ever had
Because fuck, it all really hurts. You have to cope with having never received any love from anyone, and with the fact that your parents clearly don’t want you and can’t even be bothered to send you with anyone even kinda responsible. And this guy has a scary job with crazy hours and you don’t know anything about him and neither does he. But still, he never once hits you or tells you you’re not allowed to cry. He just gives you space and doesn’t push you to feel any sort of way about him. And sometimes, he’s even kind. He makes you some stew, even though it’s a bit chunky. He lets you sleep in the bed and takes the couch for himself, even though he complains about the massive back pain he’d never trade his spot for a second. He pays attention to events at your school and gives you your favorite stuffed animal when you make good grades, even though you called it ugly. He gets worried sick when you come home with bruises and puts on a goofy voice and trains you to defend yourself and you develop some highly deadly skills and even though it’s really abnormal, he buys you a bench press so you can get stronger. There’s this distance there, and you feel really weird caring about someone who you aren’t related to, but you find yourself wishing it was meant to be like this all along, that maybe, he’s secretly your real dad and he loves you like his real daughter
And when you say "I’m back" he says "welcome home"
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kindaasrikal · 1 month
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Quick Morro sketch with some rendering cause i haven’t drawn the bbg in ages.
I BEG you ignore the hands🙏
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zarnzarn · 8 days
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(check the tags for more and also the tag for other fics in the story!)
athena, scowling as she gets bullied into marrying the people she pined over for the last 1000 years, suddenly realising something: wait a minute
odysseus: what?
athena, frozen: wait a damn minute you know what this gives me rights to do
penelope, also realising: oh fuck yes
odysseus: I don't like the sound of whatever's happening here what are you two fucking talking about?
athena, grabbing the marriage wine and tossing it back, then kissing her new wife and husband and handing penelope a spear as she picks up a mace: we'll be back shortly, you can start celebrations without us.
penelope: do u have anything that can start a fire
athena, pulling out an old contract and scanning it before throwing it over her shoulder: yes. are you scared of heights or can we fly.
penelope: fucking bring it I've waited years for this moment
zeus: where are they going
hermes, picking up the contract: they're going to... Ogygia? Oh fucking shit they're going to fucking kill Calypso- hey, hello, WAIT-
#odysseus disappears midway because athena plants one on him so hard his soul evaporates#(strategic to make him stop from coming after them and also from passion she forgot to hold back for once)#(and also shes maybe possibly in love and cant wait to get vengeance on Calypsos bitch ass who hurt him so much for so long)#penelope has had to deal with calypos afteraffects for literally the rest of their lives. from flashbacks to odysseus inconsolably crying#at her feet for forgiveness some days even though shes always said frim the first moment that it wasnt his fault#the rest of the gods have to chase them down to prevent them from eternally torturing calypso (goddesses cant die <3)#athenas blazing mad and sick with guilt and horror. she couldn't attack before because it would be seen as an attack from olympus#but as a wife! as two wifes! no political implications there no holds barred calypso gets her ass BEAT#but also pls imagine them chasing her and gods chasing them round and round the island while screaming#odysseus wavered like 17 times on whether to ask hermes for a lift there or not but goes in the end#their honeymoon in truth ends up being on ogygia#athena lovingly and seductively teaching penelope how to fillet a person both of them covered in ichor#odysseus with a hand over his mouth blushing grinning tears in eyes torn between turned on and terrified to be back and crying coz they lov#him that much.#((he goes to her just before they leave in the cave she used to drag him to. she can barely hold herself up and hes shaking to approach))#((but he's stronger now. settled and satisfied and content. he kneels by her and sets down bandages next to her.))#((i told you i was married he says. and because his truest weapon is his tongue- if youd just listened i wouldve found us both a way out))#she sobs and he leaves. the scars will never fade fully but he feels lighter as he steps out into the sun where athene and pen are waiting.#bloodsoaked and being shouted at by hera but smiling at him widely and gleefully as he approaches. takes a hand each and presses him btwn.#he squeezes back with a smile and leans into them. his beautiful horrifying wives#odypenath#odypenetha#odysseus#penelope#athena#odypen#odyath#penath#epic the musical#love in paradise
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writer-room · 5 months
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Hey. The Finders have no idea that Bonzle was captured. Fritz and Spitz are still waiting, playing video games in the Monastery, for Cole to bring their sister out of hiding now that the blood moon is over. Geo is still sitting by the window, watching and waiting for a dragon on the horizon to return his kid safe and sound. Cole took a very unsure Bonzle, assured them all everything would be okay, and they'd be back soon. He promised he'd find a way to protect her.
Don't think about how they'll smile when Cole finally trudges back, happy to know he's okay. Especially don't think about the Finders stopping, looking out over the group, and how Cole can't look them in the eyes when they turn to him and ask; where's Bonzle?
#ninjago#ninjago dragons rising#lego ninjago#dragons rising#bonzle#finders#cole#cole brookstone#geo#fritz#spitz#text post#angst#talk#LISTEN TO ME#COLE LOST 2 WHOLE FAMILY MEMBERS DURING THAT BLOOD MOON#HES GOING TO NOT BE OKAY!!!!!!! HES DOING SO BAD#mans is a FATHER and he PROMISED he'd keep his kid safe. he promised it to the OTHERS#and hes going to have to walk back up those steps and admit to being a LIAR and a FAILURE#hes not obviously sht just went sideways but you KNOW he blames himself#geo very worriedly stayed behind w fritz & spitz FULLY TRUSTING that cole would keep bonzle safe & bring her back#he loves him so much (in a gay way. u know it to be true) so he trusts him IMPLICITLY to keep them safe. hes done it before#can you imagine the HORROR when cole comes back and hes...alone. with no one else but the other ninja (minus 1)#geo realizing what happened before the kids. the way everything just freezes and drops. cole curled so tight in on himself#and cole cant say hes sorry because he cant even look at them. he lost family hes had for over a decade & a kid he claimed his own for year#you saw how he was w child wu. you saw how desperate he was to keep bonzle safe. AND KAI IS GONE TOO???#homeboy is having the literal worst day ever. imagine him trying to tuck fritz & spitz close while on one knee trying to explain it all#and bro jsut feels like hes literally the worst person in the world#something something 'you dont get to stay with the ninja & be happy. i tried to protect you from what hurt me as a kid'#'and instead your right in the thick of it'
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luck-of-the-drawings · 6 months
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[<==PREV PAGES] [NEXT PAGE==>(not out yet.wait a year.or maybe more.imagine.]
saw alot of comments on prev pages; saying 'i HATE that mean teacher! im gonna FIGHT HIM!!' & i LOVE the energy!! it WOULD be nice. to have that catharsis. but the story of young tidestrider is Not one of catharsis. it is a story of being so small and so special and sucking so bad.
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi riptide#gillion tidestrider#GONNA START FORMATTING MY COMICS BETTER. W THE PROPER 'PREV' 'NEXT' LINKS#REALLY DIDNT EXPECT TO CONTINUE THIS SERIES BUT AAAUUUHH MY BRRAAAIN MY BRAIN IS SO IDEASSS. I HAVE 3 OTHER PAGES SKETCHED OUT#NO PROMISES ILL FINISH EM ANY TIME SOON OR EVER. MY WHIMS ARE THEIR OWN BEAST AND I ONLY DRAW ON MY WHIMS#THAT BEING SAID IF U COMMISSIONED ME ILL GEEETT TO YOUUU IM SORRYYYY. ART IS AN EMOTIONAL RELEASE FOR ME N BABY I HAVE EMOTIONS.#ESPECIALLY ABOUT GILLION TIDESTRIDER CHAMPION OF THE UNDERSEA HERO OF THE DEEP.for the desc here i put smth that i typed up in the tags of#another thing i made. i gotta make a proper Baby Gillion tag or smth. eventually.. eventually...I LOVE DRAWIN THIS LIL BABY GUY..#i also LOVE depicting the teachers as just being so fuckin mean. ofc theres variation in that. just like in all things.like the teacher her#idk if itll be mentioned but the octo lady is named Ms Octburn.an octopus pun based off the name of an actual councilor i had#when i was in elementary school i got bullied alot but teachers never did anything. i hated adults and didnt trust them.#but this councilor o mine was so genuinely sweet. i remember spending alot of time w her. she doesnt work there anymore.#but that one school adult that actually earns ur trust and is there for you when they can be.its SO important for a child i think#i hope she knows how much she helped me.youll see in the next page that ms octburn isnt perfect either.but she tries. they all try.somehow.#ALL these comics are gonna be inspired by somesorta experience o mine in the school system. school is so fucked up u ever thing abt that#AND GILLIOOOOONNN IN THE MOST FUCKED UP LITTLE SCHOOL OF ALL. MAINTAINED BY A CULT. CENTERED AROUND HIM. OUR CHOSEN ONE#I IMAGINE ALOT BANKS ON HIS SUCCESS. THIS IS THE WORLD. THE WHOLE WORLD. THE PROPHECY IS GOING TO COME TRUE N UR TELLIN ME#THAT ITS THIS LITTLE IDIOT THATS GONNA BE SAVING US? WHAT IF HE FAILS. IF HE CANT GET THIS RIGHT THEN HE WILL FAIL AND WE WILL DIE#WE NEED TO TRAIN HIM. WE NEED HIM TO LEARN. AND TO SUCCEED. OR ELSE WE'RE DEAD. WE'RE ALL FUCKING DEAD. I IMAGINE THAT MUST BE STRESSFUL#in other news i hope ppl actually giggle when they read these. they ARE intended to be comical. dark humor or whatever. like its also sad#this is intended to be a sad comic series. but a funny one too. does that make sense? god i hope so.saw some1 say they had flashbacks-#-reading this. like YES!! THE INTENDED EFFECT!! YOU GET ME!! i love seeing ppl get upset on this lil baby boys behalf. i LOVE seeing ppl-#-wail n weep n cry in the comments. i LOOOVE seeing ppl RELATE to baby gillion. and i love letting u all know that this wont be a happycomi#gillion gets his happiness arc in the actual show. this series is one of unfortunate events. teehehehe. do u guys remember that show#i keep listening to the lil songs from A Series of Unfortunate Events for inspiration. GOOD STUFF!!#anyway uuhh uhh thats all i got in my brain. for now. feed me ur comments give me ur input i NNEEEEEDD THHEEEMMMM
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doctorwhoisadhd · 4 months
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you know, i kind of wonder if ruby, having grown up with a Black mother and grandmother (and foster siblings??), might have picked up on the racism before the doctor did. cause like, the doctor has been white for, in their perspective, their entire life (what with their memories of being the timeless child and ruth!doctor having been wiped, and i think it's reasonable to assume this is still very very early days for 15). whereas, ruby probably had to have at some point as a child picked up on the fact that people were treating her differently from her family, right?
come to think of it — is ruby actually aware that the doctor didn't realize until the end? like — she doesn't still know about regeneration yet, right? cause if she doesn't, then it would make sense for her to have assumed that 15 did pick up on the microaggressions and just wanted to save these people even with that knowledge. really adds another layer to why this sucks for him
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foursidecity · 5 months
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Thinking about them... designs... silly..
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ven7s · 2 years
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you & me, right here, right now.
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— scaramouche x gn!reader ; wc. 1.1k; genre fluff, angst, hurt-comfort
notes. this is before scaramouche became a harbinger. personal headcanons mixed in 🤭. not proofread. i haven’t written in a while so sorry if this is rigid
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contrary to popular belief, scaramouche is actually quite vulnerable.
yeah, scaramouche, ei's prototype and creation, is vulnerable.
the abandonment by his creator was caused by his cries at birth. he's always had an overwhelming amount of emotions flooding within him. and ever since the abandonment, his identity had been stolen.
he doesn't exactly know who he is or what his purpose is in this world.
he's terribly afraid, angry, and most of all, desolate.
and as he wanders around the land of inazuma, he finds himself a temporary home in tatarasuna. 
while he walks through the region, he finds children laughing and running around without a care in the world. their grandparents watch them, some scold the kids to be careful while others sit on the front of their house, waving their grandchildren and their friends over to eat fruit. and he can't help the small smile that arises on his face as he watches them do so. 
he wonders if he could have been one of those children if not for the fact he was born only to be discarded by ei, the almighty shogun.
then he remembers those foolish feelings are the reason for his misery. he hates the reminder of it and soon enough he finds himself repressing those feelings.
but then, only a month into settling in tatarasuna, he bumps into you, a common villager. the first encounter is a chance meeting, at the local supermarket when you had both reached for the same amakumo fruit.
you laugh an apology for the inconvenience and as he looks up, all he sees is the smile across your face and amused look in your eye.
he mumbles out an "it's okay" before reaching for the fruit next to the one he had just tried to take.
as he turns around to go to the vendor, you pause him, and he looks at you in confusion.
"wait, wait, you shouldn't take that one. it’s rotting," you say hurriedly, handing him the fruit that both of you had attempted to grab a minute ago, "here, this ones perfect!"
scaramouche looks at your outstretched hand, then to the fruit.
"how'd you know?" he asks, looking at your fruit then back to the one in his hand.
"hm?" you look confused for a moment before your face brightens up again, "oh! you must not be from around here!"
you go on to explain the difference between the two fruits and soon enough you realize that scaramouche doesn't really know.. anything.
when he gives a vague explanation about how he hasn't been in inazuma since he was born you offer to help him around. and soon enough the two of you are joined at the hip.
wherever you are, he's there. and wherever he is, you're there.
in no time, your relationship progresses from mere strangers to friends. 
now, two years later, he finds himself growing shy from your presence. the fleeting touches of your body against his makes him rigid with embarrassment and he can't help the warmth that rises.
with the help of a local grandmother, he finally realizes those feelings to be love. and the first thought that comes to him is that it's about time for you to abandon him. it’s okay he thinks. he doesn’t truly have a heart anyways, it wouldn’t affect him in the very least.
that's what he repeats to himself everyday anyways.
but quite frankly, if he's being really honest, scaramouche knows he doesn't want you to leave, he doesn't know how he would handle it.
and the disbelief of how you've managed to stay by his side for so long is already always in the back of his mind. 
it doesn't help how scaramouche feels guilt throb inside of him whenever he's with you. he feels like he’s been deceiving you, not sharing much about himself while you share the wonders of the world with him. he knows how frustrating it must be to be his friend, even more, a potential lover. he’s barely told you about his past, being vague about his family and himself, just alluding to certain things.
you know though. you know that he's had a difficult past, albeit never being told about it. but you understand, and he's grateful.
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“is it okay for me to stay by your side?”
your eyes widen slightly, turning over to where scaramouche sits, but ,then, the loud noises of crackles interrupt. in the reflection of scaramouche’s eyes you see brilliant lights, flaring into the sky. they’re like giant, sparkling flowers that bloom in the air, lasting only a few seconds, and quickly being replaced by new surges of color.
you look over again and the wonder and curiosity that fills scaramouche’s eyes as he watches the fireworks has your heart drumming in your chest.
“i only want you,” you say without a thought and this time scaramouche’s eyes widen, “i’ve never regretted meeting you. and i never will.”
your whispered words makes him feel as if something is stirring inside of him, it feels as if his heart is aching, but that would be impossible.
again, the heartless scaramouche feels overwhelmed with feelings and he feels the tears trying to burst through the seams. for a second he thinks again about his birth and how these feelings are worthless, that they are the sole reason why his mother had rejected him.
then he feels your hand take his and the gentle way in which you pull him into your arms. you rub his back and whisper, “it’s okay. i'm here for you. i'll always be here for you kuni. you can let yourself feel, it’s okay.”
because you already know.
you’re a common villager in tatarasuna, and you already know of scaramouche’s origin. you’ve heard the rumors circulating the town. that the almighty shogun had created a doll, one that resembled the shogun so similarly with fair skin, long indigo hair, and beauty so unimaginable that you couldn't fathom it. it wasn't hard to connect the dots, how your new friend was supposed to be the almighty shogun's puppet.
and although it’s quiet, you hear the gasp of inhale come out of scaramouche.
scaramouche has always felt like shielding himself from his feelings would compensate for the flood within him, but how can a person who is so humanly sensitive and constantly overflowing with emotions hold back for so long?
"thank you,” he whispers, and just like that he lets the tears fall.
his words are so simple and gentle. the state of his fragility in this moment is comparable to that of a wilting flower and you can't help but embrace him with all that you have.
it’s then that scaramouche, a meager vessel made to hold the gnosis of the almighty shogun, finally comes to the conclusion that he isn't as heartless as he thinks.
there are no words spoken between the two of you, just the sounds of fireworks crackling and chorus of crickets whistling through the night. and the moon that shines from above witnesses it all.
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epiphainie · 2 months
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