#i love his joie de vivre. miss this kid.

[loisinherlane]

(Fantastic Four (1961) #3)

Johnny, are you 16 or 6?

[knightotoc]

So the final ep of Rings of Power came out yesterday, and I binged the whole season with my dad. Kind of a rough show to watch with him, since it's all about mean dads! How far this story has gone since Tolkien wrote it for his kids.

I went into it with low expectations, but it ended up disappointing me in compelling ways. Like Star Trek movies, the even-numbered episodes are better than the odd-numbered ones. Late-game reveals retroactively add some thrill, but can't go back in time to erase the initial tedium. The show has the same structural and characterizational flaws as last decade's LotR spinoff, the Hobbit trilogy: unrestrained emptiness in both showtime and our hero's brains. These goodguys are stupid, and their writers have even less respect for the audience.

But stupidity, while an unexpected legacy for the world's most overthought fictional setting, is not a killing blow to it. We've always had Pippin, after all. The thing that hurts, the thing that makes RoP unique, is indifference. These characters, with a handful of important exceptions, do not love each other. They certainly don't hate each other. They just don't care. In the first scene children destroy each other's toys, and nobody really grows out of that pointlessly selfish mindset.

Fight choreography is self-centered and nasty. Shot composition is lonely. Nobody talks to each other with the goal of actually communicating; they speak in dramatic pauses, anecdotes, twists and turns. At one point, a blind woman asks what has happened, and no one answers her. Her father died. Everyone else is too far inside their own feelings to tell the person for whom that matters most.

The leadership and general population of the elves, dwarves, and humans are bigoted isolationists. The villains, a host of orcs who wear cool skulls on their heads like Cubone, display far more fellowship and joie de vivre than any group we're supposed to like. They even call their leader Dad, and, by this show's standards, he's above-average at that role.

But the most shocking intrusion of indifference is with the horrible nomadic harfoots. You know how ohana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten? I don't think they know about ohana, Pip. These cultish hobbit-knockoffs condemn anyone who misbehaves, and their family, to the back of the group when they migrate. If not for some supernatural help, our plucky heroine would apparently have gotten picked off in the night by the cruel forces of nature. If the hobbits had been anything like the harfoots, the only logical message of the original story would have been "Fuck the Shire."

But I said there were important exceptions. Of the multiple subplots, at least two revolve around genuine affection, and at least one of those is actually cool and fun. Firstly, there is the grand romance of sexy elf Arondir and lovely human Bronwyn, original characters who have to drag around his lazy coworkers, her stupid neighbors, and a cute kid.

Secondly, there is the rekindled friendship of conflicted dwarf prince Durin and ambitious half-elf Elrond...who is not only my favorite character in LotR but one of my favorite characters in anything, so I am happy to report that he slays in this one. And in the end, for me, that's all that really matters.

Durin and Elrond's friendship is not only beautiful on its own, but it shines all the brighter among the cynicism and apathy that characterizes the rest of this show. After some genuinely great shenanigans, Elrond starts to give Durin a literal elevator pitch about some bullshit. Suddenly, Durin tearfully confronts Elrond with the fact that, though they used to be friends, Elrond missed Durin's wedding and the birth of two of his children. Elrond is taken aback -- after all, twenty years is much shorter for an elf than any other being. He apologizes. They hang out. They take a vow on the mountain. They defend each other to their shitty kings, at the risk of their own futures. Durin almost tells Elrond his true name, and Elrond's like, "Save it for Heaven." They cry because they wuv each other so much. It fucking rules. Eat your hearts out, Legolas and Gimli.

Unfortunately Elrond's not a dad yet -- he's a little baby who looks like a combination of Hermey and MatPat (pictured) -- so the proportion of bad dads to good dads remains overwhelmingly poor. The only actually good one was the one who sat next to me while we endured this terrible production.

[imnotwolverine]

The marriage pact - Hitch

Henry Cavill x OC Alice - multi-chapter

< Part 17 | Part 18 Hitch | Part 19 >

Disclaimer: sad fluff, some body insecurities

Author’s note: Can you tell it’s Monday? It’s Monday. Gosh I feel like I need a hug after writing this. 😭

Word count: 1.764

(Link to my Masterlist)

Dear readers,

Do you ever look in the mirror, just to study the way you are slowly changing? I don’t want to say older. Just, changing. My eyes are practically always the same shade of brown, like milk chocolate, and my hair is often an equally chocolaty mess, pulled up in a bun. And I like it like that, too. 

And then there is my skin. Sometimes pale like porcelain, sometimes sun kissed with a hundred small freckles, dusted over my cheeks and nose. I don’t understand why people wouldn’t like their freckles by the way. I absolutely love mine. Unfortunately now that winter has come, I mostly look tired. Thank heavens for concealer!

I wonder by the way if men also look at themselves in the mirror like that. Especially since it’s generally far less accepted and normalised for them to wear make-up, even if it is just a simple concealer.

Anyways. It’s winter and I look like a walking, talking zombie, my once fresh looking skin now showing some mean little creases and fine lines. Admittedly, I do sometimes rub my skin with a little bit of extra cream when I see those lines. Not that I am willing to invest in those luxury treatments or get my panties in a twist, but still. It does, in some way or form, influence the way you feel about yourself.

I embrace change, but today? I am most definitely wearing make-up. Thank you very much.

Done-with-winter-already,

Ali

With the loudest of sighs I flung the refrigerator door closed, my shoulders slumping visibly as I plopped down on my chair at the dinner table, dinner long cleared away from the table but my parents still sitting there. 

My mom was the first to pick up on my sulking mood, her careful eyebrow raising up over her reading glasses as she put down her Swedish crossword, pen still in hand.

‘Looking for something?’ She asked casually.

‘No.’ I grumbled, looking over at dad who was still hiding himself behind a folded open newspaper. Mom sniffled and shook her head. ‘Then what is it, Ali dear?’

‘It’s just…’ My lip trembled - not even make-up could make me feel any better today. ‘..things are not working out like I want them to and..’ Sniff. ‘..it’s so frustrating.’

Slowly my dad lowered his newspaper. Usually it was my mom who dealt with any off-days on my end, which truly were sparingly. I didn’t really wish to share my troubles and thoughts with my parents too much, fearing they’d continue to see me as “their little girl”. I wasn’t a little girl for crying out loud. I was a grown woman of 37-years. I shouldn’t need my parents anymore, right?

‘Is this about eh..’ My dad started, squinting his eyes as if looking for any signs that I would go for his jugular right here and now. I didn’t. ‘..eh..Henry?’ He swallowed as I started to cry, shaking my head no.

Mom quickly moved aside her crossword and pen, reaching out her arms to smooth her warm palms over my shoulders. Even through the tight knit of my dark grey sweater I could feel the soothing calm of her touch. ‘What’s the matter baby? Tell us.’

‘UGH..it’s just.’ I sniffled and angrily wiped a few rogue tears away. ‘I..ugh..this feels so stupid. I just thought I had found a place of my own. I’ve been looking at some apartments..and..I thought I had found one. Ten minutes from here. Perfect. Finally. But..’ I furrowed my brows. ‘..I couldn’t get it. The owners chose someone else, despite me being first choice. I just got the news.’

Mom was quiet for a moment and dad swallowed harshly, the two of them deciding on how to go about it. I sniffled again and looked up. First at mom, then at dad, the both at them suddenly looking even older then I remembered them to be.

‘Oh..’ Mom finally exclaimed, seemingly relieved. ‘I thought it had to do with Henry. Woof! Thank god for that.’ She quickly pushed her chair closer to mine, wrapping a bony arm around my shoulder and pulling me in for a mom hug. ‘Come here.’ She hummed, squeezing me even tighter to her chest. ‘Hmmm! Well, you know you can stay here for as long as you want. We love having you here with us. Close to us. It gives our life a bit of…’ She leaned back and smiled, shrugging slightly. ‘..joie-de-vivre!’

I snickered, shaking my head in disbelief. ‘You could get a dog too, you know.’

‘Hahah oh we might, we might. We actually discussed it the other day. Would you like that, a dog?’ She asked at me, dad snuffing in amusement - either because he absolutely didn’t want a dog or because this whole shift of moods was amusing him.

Women.

‘That is yours to decide mom…dad.’ I gave him an exasperated look and he chuckled, quickly grabbing his newspaper again, hiding the cheeky grin that lingered on his lips.

‘But really, I am just glad that it’s not Henry. You and him are just such a fine couple together.’

‘Thanks mom.’ I smiled, wiping the last remains of my tears. I laughed. ‘I eh..actually confessed I love him the other day.’

‘OOOHHH.’ Mom near jumped with excitement and my dad quickly duck even further away behind his newspaper - he really felt uncomfortable with all this girl chat. Me and mom both grinned and before long we were deep in conversation about what had transpired between me and Henry the past few weeks. A talk that was long overdue honestly, because of course mom had HEARD  a gazillion things, but in her motherly role she had decided to wait for me to spill the beans.

Well. The beans were spilled. And I couldn’t be happier to hear how enthused and adoring my mom was about everything Henry concerned.

—

Henry carefully read the words on the screen of my phone, the both of us sitting on my parents couch, the rest of the house quiet as my parents were out. 

It was an e-mail I had received that afternoon. Bad news. Again. As if losing that house wasn’t enough, of course more shit had to happen. He slowly furrowed his brows as he licked his lips, scrolling back up - as if checking he didn’t miss anything in his careful read.

‘O..kay..’ He finally said slowly, sighing visibly. ‘Yea..’ I bit my lower lip and reached out for my phone, retrieving it from his hesitant fingers. ‘Are they even allowed to..’ He raised his eyebrows. ‘..make such a suggestion?’

‘I don’t know Hen. Ugh. What is it with this week?! I hate it. Two weeks ago it was all fine and now this? Please let it be over..’ I sulked, reopening the e-mail of the fertility clinic and giving it a once-over. Yep, there it was really in black and white; due to a rapidly growing waiting list they suggested that me and Henry would perhaps first check out “other means of fertilisation”, before enlisting for a sperm donor. Meaning, most probably and quite rudely; just forgo the condom and see where that takes you.

There went my plan B. My back-up plan. At least for another extra 6 months of extended waiting as they had simply pushed me back on the list now I had a “partner”. Could they do that? I don’t know, but it sure was a blow in the gut.

‘What would you do in this situation, Hen?’ I asked quietly, seeing him shift his weight to turn towards me. ‘Well, believe it or not. I think this is my situation too now.’ He swallowed and reached out for my hand, tentative fingertips stroking my palm.

‘True.’ I smiled with watery eyes.

We were after all a team now. Together. Boyfriend and girlfriend.

‘I eh..’ He shook his head. ‘Okay this is going to sound so stupid now, but I want to get it off my chest. Before I did the Durrell challenge, just really a few weeks before, I had a chat with a..’ He sighed. ‘..a woman who would wish to surrogate a ..-’

‘WHAT?!’ I sat up a bit and swatted his hand away.

‘No no..Ali. It..nothing happened. I just..’ He swallowed awkwardly. ‘I guess I just started my very own path in trying to become a father. It’s a thing that’s been on my mind for a long time now. I want it. Though it immediately became clear after that conversation with that woman that I could not do it like that.’ His eyes searched mine, hoping I would not hate him for it, understand him.

I sighed. ’Gosh..I thought you were going to say you had like a kid on the way and..-’

‘Ali.’ He grabbed my wrist and looked me even deeper in the eyes. ‘There is nobody else. There is no kid on the way. It’s just you and I.’ - ‘Okay.’ I quietly nodded and swam through the depths of his stormy blue eyes. I near drowned in them. 

‘So, you want to be a dad, hmm?’ A tear rolled down my cheek before I could stop it and Henry’s eyes instantly tracked it as it moved over my cold skin. With a tender finger he brushed it off, his lips curling in a sad smile. ‘Badly.’ He swallowed harshly.

He suddenly looked so fragile, like I could see right through those big bulking muscles and handsome features and see within, see the most deep and hidden away piece of Henry that I had ever gotten to see. 

With pensive blue eyes he was looking down, his hand re-interlocking with mine, his other hand now aimlessly hanging by his waist. He looked a bit forlorn, lost at the sea that I had found in his cerulean gaze.

The sea that was Henry. Sometimes calm and soothing, something strong and unbending. 

A sea that wanted what I wanted. Badly. 

Without words I crawled over to him, using whatever strength I had to pull him into my chest, his head resting in the crook of my neck and his breath slightly shallow. He was such a large man that it was hard to actually make him surrender and lean into me. Usually he was the one who was to protect and be strong. Now it was the other way around. Sighing harshly he finally gave in, his nose sniffing as his arms slowly folded around my waist.

‘All I learned is that I don’t want to do it alone.’ He finally gulped, softly.

I closed my eyes and let a hand roam over the soft material of his sand coloured cable knit sweater. Poor bear. My poor bear. I nodded.

‘Neither do I, Hen. Neither do I.’ I pushed my nose in his neck and whispered into his skin: ‘And I think you are going to be an absolutely great dad.’

He swallowed back a cry.

‘In fact I KNOW it is so.’ I smiled, pressing up a number of kisses on his skin until I reached his lips. ‘And all other things are just a hitch, a hiccup. What I really, really need.. is.. you. Let’s..let’s make this work.’ I sniffled. 

--

General tagsquad: @harrysthiccthighss​ @tumblnewby @magdelen69​ @thereisa8ella​ @mary-ann84​ @darkbooksarwin​ @summersong69​ @madbaddic7ed​

Fluff lovers squad: @star017​ @perhaps2remember​ @pterodactylterrace​ @witchersqueen​ @desperate-and-broken​​ @toomanyfandomsshreya​​ @deliciouslysassyarcade​​ @pamacs-macs​​ @cavilladdict​​ @scorpionchild81​​ @lebguardians​​ @sofiebstar​​ @amberbabem​​ @mis-lil-red @aestheticqueenb​​ @misslalaland-blog-blog​ @ilieherecharmed-fics2readnrec​ @michelehansel​ @henryfanfics101​

Want to be added to or removed from the tag list? Shoot me a message!

[killian-whump]

don't get me wrong, i love colin and think he's such a talented actor....but i hated his performance in The Rite. it just felt kind of wooden. It wasn't until the exorcism scene at the end when he finally came alive

CONGRATULATIONS, NONNY!!!

You’ve unlocked one of KW’s Pet Peeves and that means you get a free, all-expense-paid rant, courtesy of yours truly! :D

Allegedly, ~ it has been said ~ that the director wanted Colin to “tone it down” with his performance and play Michael Kovak very stoic and...

OKAY, I’M GONNA SAY IT, I’M GONNA-

Michael Kovak is dull.

HE WEARS ORTHOPEDIC SHOES, YOU CAN TELL, HE’S JUST THE KIND OF GUY WHO YOU MEET AND YOU’RE LIKE ‘ORTHOPEDIC SHOES’ AND NOT BECAUSE HE HAS TO, BUT BECAUSE HE WANTS TO

Rumor has it that Colin was more or less directed to play him more as an “everyman” - an average joe, a studious and serious sort of guy. In other words, the director wanted Colin to more or less dull his natural *sparkling* self.

For me, what makes Colin’s acting so much fun to watch is the spirit in it. Like, he goes for each role with a sort of gusto and joie de vivre that just permeates through the character and brings them to life. He injects part of himself into every role he plays, like most actors do, but Colin’s “parts” are just so damn likable and magnetic. Even Professor Harrison has a certain something that draws you in, pulls you closer - and that makes it so much more offensive when he turns out to be an ass. And that’s one of the reasons I want sosososo badly to see Colin play a serial killer at some point, because he would NAIL that genial “guy next door” charisma that so many murderers use to lure in their victims with a false sense of security AND he could nail the evil that ensues once they have a victim in their clutches, because he does “dark” like nobody’s business.

HOLLYWOOD, GIVE THAT TO ME.

(Also make him James Bond sometime before I die. Thanks.)

ANYWAY... It’s that infectious charisma that makes Colin’s characters so fun to watch, and makes Colin himself such a delight to fangirl over, and his career such a joy to follow. However, Michael Kovak feels like a character that has had that charisma surgically excised, and you can’t quite figure out WHY or what’s off about him or what it is, but you know something’s off. That performance doesn’t really fit with everything else we’ve seen from Colin overall. It feels... stilted. Crippled. Something’s missing.

And then you hear the rumors and scuttlebutt that the director actually asked Colin to tone the charm down... and ARGH. I mean, that EXPLAINS exactly what you already knew was missing, even if you couldn’t put your finger on what it was exactly, so once you hear that, you just kinda know it’s true.

I admit, Colin was still new on the acting scene, so the director probably didn’t realize what he was working with and how colossally he was misusing it - so I try not to get too mad about it. BUT I’M KINDA MAD ANYWAY. Imagine someone directing Colin to do this now: “Hey, could you play this guy a little more... average?” “Could you be a bit less charismatic?” “Could you just cripple your best asset?” “I think this would be a lot better if you just phoned it in a bit more.”

WTF.

But I’ll say this. Colin still nails the angsty aspects of the role to a T. The serious, dark, emotional moments are very well delivered. And there ARE some moments where Colin’s charisma peeks through and wins you over - like when Michael makes that failed joke to the priest or the almost-smirk when he says, “You gotta be fucking kidding me.” about the frogs, and that grin at the end that just makes you want to follow him wherever he’s going just to see more of it. And the ending, like you said, ramps up the action and intensity and gives Colin the chance to let loose, as well. So there’s still plenty to like in The Rite, and plenty that Colin himself should be very proud of, but it still makes me angry to think of what we could’ve had if Colin hadn’t been (allegedly) reined in.

Also, it makes me furious because the only real complaint any critics had about his performance was that it lacked “charisma” - and we all know that Colin has that in spades. If it’s true that the director asked him to tone it down, and then that was the only thing critics faulted in his performance... GAH.

I NEED TO GO FLAIL AT NOTHING NOW

[tornbetween2loves]

Arcana Unbound-Plane Rides

Four thousand years ago gods and magic shaped and ruled and were plentiful in the world. Man and all the creatures were shaped and marked by it. Then things began to change. Gradually those things of magic diminished and the things of science took precedence until magic became a myth tucked away safely in children’s fairy tales and skilled entertainer’s parlor tricks.

It’s been a thousand years of progress unmarked by true magic.

Things are about to change.

This is a collaborative project between @tornbetween2loves and @innerpostmentality parts of this particular post were also written by our good friend @kennaxval

Word Count: 2800+

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Pixelberry except for our OCs. They are our precious babies and were created with all of our love and affection.

Warnings: This series may contain erotica and adult themes and should not be read by anyone under the age of 18. 

Autumn Lee, heiress of Valtoria, felt her heart race as the plane landed. 'It had been two, no, three years,' she thought to herself, 'and I'm still nervous as hell to see her.' She had spent the last couple of hours scrolling through her phone and reminiscing about Cordonia. She looked through her reflection in the plane window down at the vast Atlantic below. She mused about the complex emotions that raged through her when her mom Hana had called her to let her know about the Royal Social Season. After the fallout from his own Social Season she would have thought that King Liam would never endorse such a cattle show for his own children.

When she left to attend Julliard she knew she was running away from her feelings for Sarissa that she wasn’t prepared to explore. Not that she regretted a moment of it. Living in Manhattan and experiencing her Mama Riley’s world had broadened her horizons and brought her closer with her New York mom. Not that she’d waited tables, her jobs included playing in the atrium at the InterContential Barclay, one of the litter of five star hotels that were scattered across the premium real estate of Manhattan. She filled in as an on call pianist for various Broadway or off Broadway productions.

Her life was good; and her life was busy and it wasn’t until the phone call that she’d ever really slowed down enough to think about Cordonia. As much as she didn't want to admit it to herself, she missed being there. Maybe it was how hilarious everyone’s obsession with protocol seemed to her. Or maybe it was Leonides, her brother from another mother. Prince and prodigy, his musical ability among the best. His infectious joy as he would play Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star as counterpoint to her Gershwin Rhapsody in Blue. Anytime they got together, they wrought joyous havoc through the palace. He would be sixteen, a young man now. She hoped he would still have that joie de vivre. She did miss him. But that wasn’t what got her on the plane to attend the Royal Social Season.

Autumn closed her eyes and thought back to that day 3 years ago when she finally tasted Sarissa’s lips and felt her body pressed close to hers. She remembered every detail as if it just happened yesterday. The way the water beaded on Sarissa’s perfect skin as she came up out of the water. The look of her perfect body in that metallic green bathing suit. How perfect her lips were as they kissed and how sliding her hand into the side of her bathing suit was like touching heaven. Autumn could still taste her lips, feel her fingers between Sarissa’s folds, everything. She opened her eyes, her body tingled just from the thoughts. She rubbed her eyes and tried to think of something else. But it was pointless.

She sighed deeply as she surrendered to the truth. Sarissa. It had always been her. Autumn had never had the courage to tell Sarissa how she felt to put it into words, and that's why she had to go back. She had always sworn to herself to speak her mind and not live with any regrets. It was time, one way or another, she would tell Sarissa how she felt.

* * *

Mona yawned and stretched her arms above her head. Flying was so boring. Especially on the royal private jet. There was no one to flirt with, no one to drink with. She looked across to the other side of the plane where her sister sat and flipped through a magazine. She unbuckled her seatbelt and moved next to her sister. “Hey Pam. Whatcha reading?”

"Sports Xtreme... Looking at all the things I'm going to be missing while we are doing whatever the hell we are doing." She frowned. "I can't believe they are still killing trees to put magazines on planes."

Mona shot her sister a sideways glance. “I’m sure you’ll find something extreme to enjoy while we’re in Cordonia. Maybe even find someone to enjoy it with.” She nudged her sister with her elbow as she raised an eyebrow at her

Pam lifted a brow at her sister. "Who would you suggest? I get the feeling you've been studying the prospects."

She smiled slyly. “Well, I hear that some of the Walker boys will be participating in the season. Perhaps one of them?” She looked at her sister pointedly. “Just keep your hands off of Xiphos Lykel. I’m calling dibs on Cordonia’s most eligible bachelor.”

Pam laughed and shook her head. "You like pouring fuel on a fire trying to put it out. That one is nothing but a handful of heartbreak Mona." She locked eyes with her sister. "Seriously you are going to pair me up with a bunch of Irish farm boys?"

“Hot Irish farm boys, Pam. Hot. Come on, nobody’s saying you have to marry one of them. Loosen up and have some fun!” She raised an eyebrow at her sister. “And I can handle Cordonia’s most eligible bachelor. He and I are cut from the same cloth I think.”

"You sure you don't want some of the 'Hot Irish farm boy' action? There are 4 of them if I recall correctly. Jeez, five kids... Didn't they know what causes that? I can't even imagine. One sister is great. Poor little girl... 4 brothers. Can you imagine?"

Mona shrugged with a mischievous smile. “Who knows? Maybe I’ll get a little action from the hot Irish boys too.” She giggled. “Poor girl is right. No guy in his right mind is gonna try and get close to that. Imagine facing the wrath of 4 older brothers, plus Drake? No thank you. She might as well become a nun.” The girls both broke into a fit of giggles.

Pam shook her head. "I wish I knew if any of them jump out of anything higher than their bed." She laughed.

Mona sighed. “Is that all you care about is if they’ll jump out of a plane with you? Come on Pam, you have to stop rejecting guys simply because they’re not daring enough for you. You are daring to the extreme. You can’t expect everyone you meet to be like that.” She raised an eyebrow as she patted her sister’s arm. “Most of us like to keep both feet planted firmly on the ground.”

Pam looked at her a long moment. "Have you ever thought about what you really want Mona? Seriously? How do you see yourself in 5 years? And do you really think some man is going to get you there?

Mona shrugged. “Yes. I see myself as the new Duchess of Lythikos. The only woman able to tame Cordonia’s most eligible bachelor. That’s exactly what I see in 5 years.”

Pam sighed knowing it was pointless to try to dissuade Mona. Once she got a cliff set in her sights she was hell bent to dash over it.

She closed her magazine. "Okay. So what's your game plan? Or do you expect a man who's been sampling the smorgasbord of Europe from one end to the other to be converted instantly by your admittedly stunning beauty and stellar wit?" She smiled and lifted her brow.

Mona giggled and punched her sister playfully in the arm. “Usually my stunning beauty and stellar wit is enough, dear sister.” She sighed. “But I fear you’re right. I may need a strategy.” She tapped her fingers on the armrest of her seat as she contemplated the situation. “Do you have any suggestions?”

"Suggestions?... Let me see. I could toss any other woman who looks at him over a cliff or out of a plane I guess... Hmm.

You know generally it helps if you know something about them. Something real. Not, he looks delish on a magazine cover. Do you actually know anything about what he does and doesn't like? What is fabricated to make good press? Do you care?"

Mona shrugged. “How the hell would I know anything besides what is printed in the press? I think we’ve met briefly in the past, but we haven’t really talked.” She broke into a big smile. “I know. Let’s google him!” She pulled out her phone and pulled up google then typed in his full name and pressed search.

Pam got up and walked over to the bar torn between drinking herself into oblivion and just tossing herself out of the plane.

She heard Mona squeal "Oh my God.. Oh my God... come look!"

She closed her eyes a moment before she grabbed the bottle of Glenfiddich and headed back to her seat. Where Mona shoved her phone with a full-frontal nude picture of Xiphos Lykel walking out of the surf on some godforsaken beach in her face.

She lifted a brow. And looked at her very excited sister. "Well now we know he's not circumcised. And DO NOT make that your wall paper!" She shook her head. "I can't believe you just shoved his dangly bits in my face. Seriously?"

Mona laughed uncontrollably. “Well now there’s nothing left to my imagination.” She grabbed the bottle of scotch from her sister and took a big swig, then handed it back. “I wonder if he knows this picture is out there.”

"Mona, it's Europe. They have more miles of nude beaches than some countries have coastline. Honestly it would be more surprising if there wasn't a nude picture of the man. He may have short comings but none of them are displayed in that picture. I'll give him that." Pam took a swig of the scotch.

"Mona why don't we just blow this all off. Land. Rent a car. Drive over to Rome, or Paris. Have a vacation without all the Social Season crap?"

Mona half-listened to her sister as she concentrated on zooming the photo of Xiphos. She held the phone up to Pam again. “And miss my chance at this??? No way sis, sorry.” She licked her lips and raised an eyebrow at her sister. “Can you really blame me?”

Pam shook her head. "I just don't want you hurt." She sat down and sipped some more scotch then took her phone out and googled 'duchy of Lythikos'. Information appeared about the area including scenes of its mountains and breathtaking vistas. Then information about the Duke and Duchess and their family.

"I'm not finding anything here about where he went to school. Must have been private. Or Bastien cleared the decks of personal information." She grinned. "Dad gave him a LOT of expertise in cleaning up messes." She got a thoughtful look. "Maybe that could help... If you can get his dad to like you?"

Mona shrugged. “Possibly. I’ve never had to go that route before, but it’s definitely something to keep in mind.” She took another swig of scotch. “I still think he and I will hit it off from the start. We’ll party together. We’ll have fun. We’ll just click. I know it.”

"So who else is likely to be there?" Pam Googled 'Cordonian Royal Court' Her screen filled up with lists of Kings and Queens and their courts for the last five hundred years. She laughed and narrowed the search. "I wonder who else is going to be there? Ramsford, Domvilliar, Valtoria, Krona?"

“I would imagine all the duchies would be represented. Don’t forget Lythikos.” Mona flashed a big smile at her sister.

Pam shook her head, "No chance of that."

"So have you got outfits planned for the masquerade ball? Are we going for stunning confusion, or stunning but individual?"

Pam looked over at her sister when she didn't answer and took her phone now completely filled with Xiphos’ schlong out of her hand. "Earth to Mona. Stop that! Seriously you are going to give me a problem staring at his crotch when I meet him." She reduced the size of the picture while her sister grabbed for it.

Mona pouted. “You never let me have any fun. Although I must admit now there is very little left to the imagination. I was thinking maybe we should do stunning confusion. What’s the point in being identical twins if we can’t use it to our advantage?”

Pam grinned and lifted her brow. "I'm the most fun person you know. Admit it. The only way I could be more fun would be if I happened to have an 8 inch cock. But that would definitely interfere with all the fun we get to have being identical twins." She laughed. "Do I get to see the gowns before so I know how much of my tits and ass I'm going to be strutting for the court?"

Mona grinned and shot her sister a mischievous look. Would you like to see them now? They’re hanging in the bedroom. I could sneak in there and grab them

"oooh yes! I love your designs you know." Pam lifted her brow. "Just make sure you listen at the door first and don't go in if you hear anything. You know they may be old but they sometimes still..." She waggled her brow.

Mona grimaced at her sister. “Ewww Pam why would you say that? I may be traumatized.” She got up and pressed her ear to the door of the bedroom. Pam followed close behind. She giggled and whispered low, “all I hear is dad’s snoring. I think it’s safe.” She slowly turned the handle and came back a few moments later with a garment bag. They returned to their seats and Mona unzipped the bag to reveal several gowns. She picked two and hung them next to each other. “Okay so there are two ways we can do the masquerade ball. Because obviously I didn’t have time to make us gowns for every event, I tried some new things.”

“Both of these are just basic black A-line gowns with a ruffled skirt. But we can switch out the bodice or the skirt and suddenly it’s a different gown.” She demonstrated by removing a length of the hem so the dress would now fall at mid-calf length. “I was thinking we could be phoenixes for the masquerade ball.” She pulled out two red sequined bodices, one strapless and one with one long sleeve. “This way we’re the same, but different.” She pulled out the different materials for the skirts. “One of us could do short, the other long. One ruffled, one not. One all black, one a mixture of red and black. And the masks are identical.” She pulled out two identical masks, black sequined around the eye holes and red and black feathers creating a plume that would cover the forehead. Mona raised an eyebrow at Pam. “So you’re completely in control of how much tits and ass you’re showing.”

"You're brilliant! I love these. Mona why don't you do this full time? I'd love to see you having shows. This is art and it's gorgeous!"

Mona shrugged. “Maybe someday. Right now I just don’t have the time. I’m too busy.”

Pam lifted her brow and moved her thumb and forefinger open and closed like she was expanding the picture on an imaginary phone. "Too busy? What exactly are you too busy doing?"

Mona broke into a fit of giggles. “Research. It’s research. Nothing wrong with being prepared.” She sighed as she began to pack the gowns away. “I do enjoy making clothes. A lot. Maybe I should try and make something of it. If I only knew where to begin.”

Pam smiled at her sister, "Well I think I'd try to talk with some designer that you admired who has done it?" She shook her head, "Didn't they have some classes on business modeling for this when you were in school? Let me guess.... you slept though it a lot."

Mona shrugged. “I guess they did but hell if I can remember.” She sat up straight and her face lit up. “Isn’t one of the duchesses of Valtoria a big designer? Do you think she might be at season?” Pam nodded and smiled. She picked up her phone and typed “Valtoria” into the search bar and after a moment came across a photo of Hana Lee. She held it out to Mona. “This is her. Are you familiar with her work?” Mona raised an eyebrow as she scrolled through the phone. “Actually, yes. She does great work. Now I have a second reason for wanting to attend season.”

A soft bong sounded over the plane’s speaker and the pilot announced that they were on their final approach and would be landing in the next fifteen minutes.

Moments later their mom and dad came out of the bedroom in the back and took the seats that faced their daughters and buckled in for the landing. Leo took Katie’s hand and smiled at Pam and Mona, “So have you girls been busy making plans for the Season?”

The twins looked at each other and burst into giggles.

Tags: @darley1101 @gardeningourmet @speedyoperarascalparty @hopefulmoonobject @bobasheebaby @carabeth @riseandshinelittleblossom @stopforamoment @furiousherringoperatortoad @indiacater @sirbeepsalot @alesana45 @museofbooks @eileendannie @furryperfectionlover @sawyeroakleyscowboyhat @strangerofbraidwood @teamtomsato @begging-for-kamilah @kennaxval @ao719 @blackcatkita

[popatochisssp]

Hello! I know this is very specific, but how would the skeletons react to a scientist s/o? Someone who is just as capable as the smartest of them, but who is only serious when it's 100% necessary. Unless they're working, their s/o is a goofy, cheerful child in a tiny adult's body. To the point that most people forget they're a very capable person, with their fair share of past issues. How would this relationship go? Love your work, by the way ♡ you're amazing ♡

Aw, thank you, you’re sweet, I’ll take a crack at it! ;D

Sans (Undertale): Hey, nice! He’s got a pretty similar philosophy– you’ve gotta be a Level 50 best pal (or s/o) to unlock his Science Nerd backstory because he just likes being a comedian and a prankster so much better that he hardly ever bothers with that stuff anymore, no matter how good at it he is. He likes having somebody around who can probably relate to that, plus somebody he can casually talk about advanced stuff with and they can keep up and not make a big deal out of it later.

Papyrus (Undertale): Well, that’s pretty neat! He takes it perfectly in stride, it takes a lot more quirkiness than that to throw the Great Papyrus! He’s more of a social sciences kinda guy himself, but he can probably hold his own with at least a solid 80-90% of what his s/o is talking about when they’re in Serious Mode. He generally doesn’t pay it much mind, though: his datemate is his datemate and he’d think they were very cool and impressive whether they were a genius or not!

Sky (Underswap Sans): S…same hat? Same hat… Same hat! Sky is a pretty similar combination of cheerful and intelligent– he definitely majored in chemistry back in his school days and had a lot of fun with it!– but that was then, and now he’s onto lots of other things instead. He likes to keep moving forward and, to use an ironic word choice, experiment with lots of different hobbies and interests, and knowing his s/o has a similar capacity to himself would be really exciting news. Think of all the things they can try out together without his s/o getting confused or upset by something that might be a bit beyond the average person’s understanding: so many more possibilities!

Paps (Underswap Papyrus): Doesn’t bat an eye, and not just because he doesn’t have any. He’s a pretty laidback kinda guy to begin with and he’s usually good at rolling with the punches. He may be a little surprised by how different his s/o can be from moment to moment, but if that’s just how they are, he’ll get used to it. He’ll….try not to brag too much that he’s got a pretty cool datemate but can’t always resist an elbow to the nearest bystander to point out how adorable they are.

Jasper (Underfell Sans): Well, damn. Didn’t see that coming… He’s…maybe a little hurt if it’s deep enough into the relationship and his s/o never even told him about this other side to their life. Did they think he was too dumb to handle it, or something? He was a mechanical engineer Underground, he worked on the CORE, for fuck’s sake, he can handle a little shop talk! …But he’s guarded about his feelings more than anything else so he’d sulk awhile until he got over it rather than start a fight or anything and just…hope they’d trust him a little better going forward. Provided they did tell him, though, he’s very proud of his bubbly little genius of a s/o and won’t try to restrain his bragging at all. Whenever they do something really cool or smart unexpectedly and baffle a bunch of onlookers, Jasper’s the first one to break the silence and say, “that’s my date!” all annoyingly smug about it.

Pyre (Underfell Papyrus): He’s very surprised, definitely guilty of having underestimated them. Not that he didn’t think they were intelligent! He wouldn’t…! Why would he ever want to date someone if he thought they were stupid?! He just…maybe didn’t expect that level of intellect out of such a cute little human… He’s very flustered and embarrassed about it, clearly his mistake to underestimate them, but in retrospect, he decides it makes a lot of sense. Of course his s/o is amazing and capable, that’s probably what attracted him to them in the first place and he just wasn’t consciously aware of it! …Really, though, Pyre’s not a very scientifically minded person– he’s an edgy theater kid to the core, so when they get to talking about really advanced stuff he’s definitely not going to be able to follow and will feel kind of embarrassingly inadequate over it, even when it’s the kind of stuff you can study for years and still struggle to understand. For the sake of his ego, and to keep him from feeling too stupid all the time, his s/o will probably have to be kind and take care not to rub his nonexistent nose in how smart they are– nobody likes feeling like a dummy next to their partner, so just…have some care for his feelings when they’re showing off their impressive brain? There’s different types of intelligence and nobody should have to feel inferior about it!

Mal (Swapfell Sans): Ah, excellent, Mal is delighted by this turn of events! He’s something of a nerd, too, he loves numbers and mathematics of all kinds and having his s/o turn out to be somebody he could discuss it with is the best kind of surprise! He also likes the ‘secret weapon’ factor of their usual persona being so much different than what people would expect out of a genius. It means they’ll be underestimated and can maybe turn out to be a real game-changer in dire situations. As much as he adores his s/o just because, Mal is very practical and tactically focused person and it’s hard for him to stop thinking of life as a very, very, very high-stakes poker game and an ace up his sleeve is always welcome. He still thinks his s/o is adorable, but it’s nice to know he has someone who’ll understand him if he feels like talking about the beauty of numbers, and he feels like he can rely on them a little more instead of only thinking of them as someone he has to protect.

Rus (Swapfell Papyrus): Oh, shit, okay, wasn’t expecting that one??? But okay, cool, little supergenius s/o, this can be Rus’ life, he guesses. Why not? Again, he’s a Papyrus and intellectually more drawn to the arts than the sciences, so it’s definitely not something he’s going to relate to and find common ground with his s/o on, but it’s still pretty neat. He’d mostly trust them to handle their own business anyway, even before he knew how smart and capable they were. He feels like most people probably have their lives more together than he does, as a general rule. But basically, nothing much would change there and Rus doesn’t think of it as a very big deal.

Slate (Horrortale Sans): Wow, a real smartypants, huh? Cuteness and brains, guess he hit the jackpot……is what he’d say, and even what he’d tell himself, but the reality is… he’d probably be pretty jealous of his s/o. ………Jeez, he feels terrible even thinking it, and it’s not that he’s not proud of and happy for his smart and competent partner, because he is! It’s just that…he can still remember the days when he was a really capable genius scientist, back when his skull was whole. He wasn’t ever passionate about it so that just adds another layer of annoyance at himself that he’s jealous of his s/o now, but it’s not the job he misses as much as being quick enough to do the job. His head wound’s slowed him down, a lot, he forgets small details constantly unless he writes them down and it was just a really big adjustment for him having to go from ‘one of the brightest minds of his generation’ to………….well. What he is now. And as unintentional as it is, his s/o’s intelligence is bringing a lot of those feelings back around, opening up old wounds and self-esteem issues that are definitely going to have to be addressed somehow if the relationship is gonna have a chance. Good luck…?

Papy (Horrortale Papyrus): Goodness gracious, that’s impressive! He is very proud of his tiny genius datemate and will have to be stopped from loudly extolling their merits to anyone who will listen if his s/o is the type of person to get embarrassed easily. He may not get all of what his s/o is talking about when they’re in Serious Mode, but he can follow along with enough of it to know how cool and unique their mind is and he’s determined to support them in whatever it is they want to do. He’s glad their intellect hasn’t made them lose their joie de vivre because as far as he’s concerned, there’s nothing more important in this life than enjoying it the way you want to, to the fullest, so if they’re a goof the rest of the time it’s because they want to be! And that’s great!

[maconnoheyjam]

So, I watched ‘Breaking the Waves’ (1996).

This was painful to watch in its entirety because every moment was so deeply embedded in this stilting silence juxtaposed w jerky bits of action. I think, and this is my pretentious high school media nerd coming out, the lack of non-diegetic audio really got to me. The camera was shaky throughout, which really inadvertently (or advertently?) added to the feeling of being a voyeur to the horrible stuff happening on screen. Kind of like, this feeling of invading a private scene, but then also feeling compelled to watch because someone has to witness what is going on, right, or what’s the point of having the story in the first place.

A thing that really struck out to me within the film was the way different chapters were introduced – that startling pop music combined with the burst of colour in the landscapes. It felt very very oxymoronic to the actual scenes but also kind of was a reminder that this wasn’t actually real? That this was a film? And you would sit during the 10-12 seconds while they transitioned between chapters thinking “my god this is fiction?” Especially that last GODDAMN SONG – my goodness, I was giggling hysterically at that bit; horrified & captivated & confused by the humourous and facile expression of what the story was.

I’m not sure what exactly Bess’s condition is – autism or – you know what, I’m not going to even attempt it because I don't want to misdiagnose, and I KNOW I’m going to be about as accurate as a kid putting on their parent’s makeup for the first time i.e. the end result is always a surprising simulacrum of The Joker. But the psychological aspect! The naivety and capacity for self-delusion, the intense combination of unconditional love and unconditional religious devotion (that ultimately ends up destroying her), the conviction in self and the continuous rejection & belittlement of that self from others; God, it’s heartbreaking. Bess is somehow simultaneously the most simple and complex character I have seen in a film. Reminds me weirdly enough of Lennie from Of Mice and Men. Characters so pure and simple that when faced with the realities of the world end up obliterated.

And Jan – my goodness, I was torn between hating and pitying him. On one hand, the sheer sadism of his actions and the callousness of the request he made of her, which was so cruelly foreshadowed with the repeated “she’d do anything for you if you asked” made me so. MAD. But on the other essentially ambidextrous hand, the loss he faced at a moment when his life should have been so bright! He’d lost his body – the basic foundation of his work and living – and the medication no doubt fogged his mind, so he’d become a shell of what he was…it was very hard to condemn him when he still had so much love for her. I mean, he tried to martyr himself for her. It was weird and touching and disturbing.

You know what I found really damn awesome about the acting? When Bess alternates between God and herself (i.e. the inner voice cultivated by having been rigorously taught by douchebag ‘religious’ men vs. her own desires) and the way Emily Watson portrayed the difference between the two. The eyes – my GOD, the way Bess looked so lost upwards, like a kid looking for answers. And then the harsh, dead gaze of ‘God’ – so reflective of the dead, judgmental stares of the men from the church and (at times) her mother. It was so well-crafted; those particular exchanges, and you could see a very clear procedure for how Bess’s inner conflict would play out. The meltdowns – oh wow. The literal explosion of her emotions against the world; pure, unfiltered injustice articulated perfectly. That one time she did it against the waves? Epic & gutting.

I can’t say I much liked the ending of the bells ringing; it felt a bit shallow in that there was a sense of things coming full circle, but also it came across as a vaguely relevant answer to the most pertinent question. Like, it made me feel like there was an answer of sorts there, but it was too poorly formed for me to really get it? Or maybe I’m just a ditherheaded idiot? Maybe both? Maybe neither? Maybe I should stop typing?

Okay BUT you know who I thought was the real tragedy of the film? DODO. That woman was the epitome of the impossible woman who somehow has to be the caretaker, sister, confidante, nurse, balancer-of-worlds, psychologist….it was just that in this version, she was taking care of a woman as opposed to the typical ‘husband/father’ trope in your usual literature. She spends the entire film trying to do what’s good for everyone and though she does miss the mark on a couple points, her intentions always come from a place of selflessness. In her speech during the wedding, she makes it clear that she has no one in her life except for Bess. Her husband’s dead (the history of which is never spoken about in the film because Dodo doesn’t get to have a narrative; she only exists to fill in the blanks) her mother-in-law is a figure present only in her emotional distance from anything outside religious matters, and her original home isn’t something she can return to. She has nothing but Bess, and her relationship with Bess is incredibly toxic. It isn’t a remark against Bess, but the relationship they have is one-sided at the least and emotionally draining & crippling (lol) at worst. Of course, Bess is the main character so it’s understandable that she be the center for most of the plot, but the continuous way in which we see Dodo picking up after Bess and handling her, and ensuring everything is fine is just exhausting. I mean, it’s exhausting to watch, imagine how exhausting it is to live like that day after day. And then in the end, when Bess dies, and Dodo breaks down – isn’t that the ultimate “I failed to do my duty” reaction? Dodo’s life isn’t built around devotion and imagination like Bess, or joie de vivre and love like Jan’s; it’s built entirely around duty and balance – and she’s failed. Completely and unequivocally, and the proof of that is in the funeral, when she breaks duty and custom to speak out, realising that in doing so she’s condemning herself but being unable to keep it in. It’s her equivalent of screaming at the waves. Also, you know how I spoke about feeling like a voyeur watching the film? About still having to act as witness? Dodo is that; the silent witness who does not get to act but is still left broken in the aftermath.  

I’m not sure if I can perfectly articulate what the film is about, or try and link it to a broader theme in literature, because in doing so, I feel like I’m erasing the personal and painful nature of Bess’s story. In the end, the audience is left trying to reconcile what they watched with the world they live in, and in doing so gaze directly into the worst horrors of life. I was left thinking a lot about the film Come and See (1985). Mostly because watching this film made me feel as if the director had been saying the same thing to us during all of Bess's private and public pain; come and see, come and see; both a warning and a dare. 

Obligatory TL;DR that my friends have instilled in me as a fixture as permanent as a closing salutation in an email because I’m always sending longass emails: the film was *mimes explosion within heart & brain & all 43 chakras* you should watch it if you like emily watson & enjoy pain.

[imagine-that-one-thing]

That’s the point.

Smut Warning.

The one where Shawn is watching a Hockey Game but his S.O has other ideas in mind.  Master List.

Your heels sound against the wooden floorboards of the hallway while your eyes scan over the mail. “Shawn?” You summon, unsure of whether he has gone for his evening run already or if he’s still around the house doing only god knows what.

“In here,” he calls back and you can only assume he’s in the living room with his eyes glued to the television.

You wander into the living and discover Shawn on the couch, he has one arm slumped over the arm of the couch, the other holding a beer while his feet, cosy in white socks, are propped up on the glass coffee table.

You assume has been in the same position on the couch for a while, for the lack of texts you received at work– you’re convinced he has been perched on the couch since at least six when the first hockey game began on television.

“Shawn,” your voice radiates at a moderate tone through the living room and he doesn’t bother to take his coffee coloured eyes from the television mantled on the wall, instead, he hums a response and urges a beer to his lips. “Have you eaten?” You question in a loving tone, a bit concerned that he has neglected to eat dinner in a frenzied attempt to soak in the high of the playoffs beginning.

Shawn hums again, resting his beer on his thigh, “is that a yes or no? Are you listening?” You snicker, advancing towards the couch and coming into view from the corner of his eye.

He grins and cocks his head to the side, “always listening, hun. Just kinda occupied,” he gestures to the screen, “watcha need? If my sister is blowing your phone up too, tell her I’m busy.”

You roll your eyes, “busy doing nothing,” you chuckle, “did you eat? I hope you’re not drinking on an empty stomach.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it. Yeah, I had pizza, there’s still some in the oven keeping warm.”

“Just making sure, here’s your mail,” you place his mail on the table, “feet, Mendes.” You tap his legs, he sighs but doesn’t draw them off the table to let you pass.

You glance over at him and raise a brow, “just because I’m watching hockey, doesn’t mean I don’t get my kiss,” he informs you.

“That’s debatable,” you shrug before giving in and leaning down to kiss him lightly.

“Thank you,” he grins before his attention goes back to the hockey game. You’re not really surprised by his lack of want to talk, he doesn’t get to sit down and watch hockey often, so when he gets a chance that’s all that runs through his mind, well, that and a few beers.

After pondering around the house aimlessly and keeping yourself occupied with the few household chores that needed tending, you fall to the couch with a huff. Shawn’s arm drapes around you loosely as he mutters something under his breath referring to the game.

You rest your head on him and his arm falls over your body, encompassing you with a bit more warmth than you had anticipated.

You can’t help but grin as you notice how he’s gradually beginning to rile himself up as the game continues. Him staring intently at the screen and groaning when things don’t favour the maple leafs is quite the turn on for you.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” He spits towards the television, “Are these refs blind?! that's not tripping! fucking bullshit call!” He roars towards the TV, forgetting that the refs can’t actually hear him. He senses you jolt beneath his touch and he promptly takes a breath, “sorry, didn’t mean to wake you.”

“You’re fine, just wasn’t expecting you to be so loud,” you giggle, assuring him that his passion for the game is of no worry to you.

You couldn’t really care less about him barking at the game, it’s more entertaining for you to watch him than it is to watch the game itself. “Where’s the interference call for that, you moron? How the fuck did he miss that call? he was standing right there!" .... “any closer and he’d been hit with the damn thing.” Shawn shakes his head, baffled with what he is witnessing on the screen, “why don’t they just play the damn game for ‘em? Fuck.”

“Maybe you should go and play for them,” you joke, repositioning yourself and placing your hand on his thigh.

“Humph, maybe I should. Maybe we’d actually fucking score,” he grumbles, shaking his head once more.

You take the chance to glide your hand further up his thigh before you settle your fingers to curve perfectly on his inner thigh and rest there. You notice his entrancing, molten-brown eyes flick from the game to your hand but he is prompt to go back to the game.

You bite your lip, somewhat frustrated he hasn’t taken the hint, usually the moment your hand is on his thigh, he knows.

“Shawn,” you draw his name out as it falls from your lips.

“Fuck, open your fucking eyes,” he mutters, his voice not so loud this time as he huffs and settles further into the couch.

“Shawn... I’m bored.”

“Watch the game,” he gestures towards the screen, not seeming to be too aware of the fact you have enraged demands that require his attention.

You sigh and roll your eyes before moving from your position on the couch and straddling him.

His brazen hands caress to your hips as he gazes at you, “I’m bored,” you whisper, leaning down and kissing the exposed skin of his neck that his light pink hoodie is failing to cover.

“But... the game,” he trails off, his breath quickening as you bite down carelessly and feel his fevered skin between your lips.

You suck lightly on his flawless skin before tearing away, “They’re going to lose anyway,” you whisper, your breath jostling his skin as his hand's progress to the hem of your sweater. “I need you,” you murmur, drawing away wholly to glance at him.

He has a grin painted on his lips, “yeh need me, hmm?”

You bite your lip and nod, "unless you would rather watch a losing team?" you cock your head to the side just enough to expose the skin of your neck that catches his eyes.

He swallows hard, "never," he murmurs, his hands cupping your ass and pulling you closer to him before his soft lips press to the slender column of your neck. "Much- prefer- this," Shawn's breath bounces off your skin and sends your body into an overdrive of emotions.

He leaves a trail of gentle, persuasive kisses up and down your exposed neck, including devising rained kisses on your silky shoulder before he travels to your mouth. His tongue skims to your trembling lips, parting them nonchalantly before taking bold control of your mouth. You’re startled by his intimate kiss but you welcome him with an open mouth. His tongue embraces the walls' of your mouth and you can't help but groan into the kiss with his fingers playing with the hem of your sweater.

While fascinated by your kiss, the tips of his fingers brush under your sweater and manoeuvre their way to your front. The supple touch of his fingers gracing your warm skin bewitches you as he takes a moment to cup hands over your bra, offering a light squeeze that sends sweet shivers down your spine. Enchanting you with his touch, he breaks the kiss long enough to draw your sweater off, launching it to fall somewhere in the living room.

Your eyes gleam into his enthralling, champagne-brown eyes and he awards you a roguish smile.

Damn, that grin.

You waste no time with driving your hands to the base of his sweater before you pry it off of his body and throw the hoodie to the floor. You map his body with your eyes, your mouth gaping slightly as you take in his beautiful landscape of plains, tight abs that only cause you to want him more. Your brazen hands bound up the warmth of his body where they travel over the dips and curves of each muscle and ridge his body grants. Your eyes lower to his sweatpants that distinctly manifest his growing arousal.

Your hands sweep to the waistband of his sweatpants and his breath gets heavier. Shawn lets out a groan, a groan that is like music to your ears as your fingers connect with his skin.

You glide your clever hands into his sweats and welcome the warmth radiating from him. You cup him in your hands and snicker at his goosebumps while you encompass your hand down his shaft and course your thumb over his tip of nerves that causes him to tilt his head back

“Christ, y/n,” he moans softly, his hands dropping to push his sweatpants down his legs.

You seduce him with your audacious hand while he crashes his lips against your own, welcoming you with a long, liquid kiss that rushes lust through you. You work your hand up and down his shaft, in a moderate motion, twisting slightly and ever so often grazing your thumb over his tip to tempt him further. "Oh, Christ," he breathes out in a beguiling nature, the narcotic power of his voice and eyes empowering you to keep going with your presumptuous abilities.

You grant him a naughty smile that has him imagining through his eyes that are a-twinkle with the ‘joie de vivre’ as he graces you with a jaunty smile. "You're slowing down, yeh tampering with my sanity," Shawn mumbles as your hand slowly matches the rhythm that he is wanting and needing.

Your thumb brushes his tip once more before his hands squeeze your hips delicately, "making me go mad."

"That's the point," you respond, tampering with his sanity and leaving him hanging as you take your hands away from his swollen erection.

"That how you wanna play?" he challenges, dipping his cold hands into your pants, grazing his fingers over the lace of your underwear. "You're dripping," he grins cockily, feeling your eagerness as he glides his finger over you, dampening your lace.

You moan quietly, twitching slightly as he strokes you again, "Please," you whimper, struggling to keep your voice steady.

"What's that?"

"Shawn," you draw out his name, suddenly feeling him pulling your pants and managing to haul them off before he is at the lace, tampering with you again before allowing them to glide down your thighs.

Shawn shifts his finger inside you, circling inside you at ease. His fingers slide upwards, relentlessly moving, dipping, swirling and circling around, adding pressure and attempting to obtain the one spot. The spot he has come to find so many times before.

You moan while his fingers coax you in every way imaginable. He's teasing you, to say the least.

He slides in another finger and your toes curl and another groan escapes from you as you concede your hand to squeeze his shoulder lightly as you begin to roll your hips, his thumb rubbing the bundle of nerves in the right way.

He is beginning to take your breath away.

You tilt your head back, your mouth allowing a small groan to escape as you’re enthralled with the circular touch and rhythm he’s presenting you with. “Fuck,” you huff, “Keep going,” you instruct, feeling the aching desire through your body, the sensations radiating through every nerve possible.

His fingers twist in a circular motion and flick lightly, his thumb brushing against your nub, another groan falling from your lips. Your legs begin to quiver as you hold onto his shoulders with more of a grip.

You feel the pressure thrusting inside you with every long and slow motion that closes you tighter around him. “Shawn,” the sound of you calling his name causes him to grin widely. He knows what he is doing to you, he knows you’re crumbling in every way possible. "Holy, fuck, please..." ... "Shawn," you breathe out, struggling to hold the desiring tide that is wanting to take over. He draws his fingers out and you stare at him with a gaped stare, "I was so close,"

"I know," he grins, "that was the point."

"Oh, fuck," you huff, taking a breath, "I need more," you whisper.

He grins again, cockily as he bites his lip before breaking eye contact with you. He carefully presses his hands to your back and slides you further up his thigh, "go," he instructs, as you lift up on your thighs slightly and line up with him. You feel him bump at your entrance before you lower down on him, tilting your pelvis to his comfort.

You go at your own pace and he keeps you steady on him, making sure to guide you through the moves you make. You grind against him, brushing your clit against him with your motions, enticing the both of you. You both work together, hips circling and thrusting. He circles his hard length inside you, probing in a slow repetitive rhythm as your body tightens around him as he thrusts and you raise your body to press into his.

"Deeper," you instruct, allowing him to add to the control he has given you.

A tangy taste and male scent evolve while you roll your hips and move your body with his like an all-over kiss of two bodies.

Your fingers get lost in the softness of his hair and your breathing quickens with the pace. He groans as your hips work together in a perfect motion and you hold back your own vocal groans as a passionate tide overtakes the onslaught of raw physical desire. You know he's close by the way his hand is shaking and the way he's beginning to cock his head back to rest on the couch.

A keening sound echoes as he thrusts once more before you take his fill and lean into him, your head resting against his shoulder. "Christ," he murmurs, his fingers running through your hair as you both catch your breath and reposition yourselves.

"Quite a win, ey?" you question cockily.

"Think so," Shawn nods as you glance up at him, admiring his cocky grin.

[arrghigiveup]

I love how we've been getting all these comments on the "greatest prank Fleury's ever played" and they're somehow always different:

When Tom Kuhnhackl was a rookie during the 2015-16 season, he noticed Fleury leave the Penguins' practice facility more quickly than normal but didn't really think too much of it.

His mistake.

Turns out Fleury had swiped Kuhnhackl's car keys, attached a few liquid chalk markers to his vehicle and parked it in front of where the autograph seekers gather and wait for players to leave the parking lot.

"Every single fan there signed my car," Kuhnhackl said, shaking his head. "I couldn't see out of any of the windows."

"Thank God there's a GetGo with a car wash down the road. It only took me a minute to get there, but I remember driving with my head out the window, trying to figure out where I'm going."

The legacy Fleury left in Pittsburgh involves equal parts pranks and good deeds done.

Bryan Rust remembers the time Fleury hung his clothes from the rafters at PPG Paints Arena, while former backup Jeff Zatkoff loves to tell the story of the time Fleury changed the labels on the hairspray and deodorant cans.

Bullano said Fleury once got Evgeni Malkin good when, after Malkin bought a new sports car, Fleury attached pop cans in hard-to-see places so it sounded like there was something seriously wrong.

"He's one of the funniest guys I've ever met," Kuhnhackl said. "A great character guy."

[source]

[img source]

(more under the cut)

During the AMA, Schultz was asked by a fan (Reddit User McCowan-) if he was part of a prank war within the team and what was the best prank that happened to him.

Schultz responded with a wonderful story about being pranked by Fleury shortly after being traded to the Penguins.

"I'm not a part of any prank war. I try to stay away from that stuff so it doesn't happen to me. The best prank that happened to me was right when I got here, my first or second practice. I go out for practice and all my street clothes are hanging up in the rafters thanks to Flower. I would say that was a good one."

[source]

[img source]

In addition to a decorated résumé—he has won more Stanley Cups (three) than the rest of Vegas’s roster combined (zero), and his 115 playoff games outpace any teammate by 35—this joie de vivre made Fleury perfectly suited for an expansion franchise. If the Golden Knights were indeed destined for a rocky maiden voyage, might as well have someone cracking jokes in the galley. (Or performing Fleury’s favorite prank by ducking under table cloths and dumping pasta sauce onto sneakers; rumored victims of the daring “shoe check” include NBC Sports announcer Pierre McGuire in a Philadelphia steak house and actor David Spade over dinner at Penguins owner Ron Burkle’s Beverly Hills mansion.)

[...]

Fleury is again sprawling, pokechecking and cart-wheeling as much as ever. His goals against average (1.77) and save percentage (.942) both rank second league-wide. “He’s a great leader,” Marchessault says. “It’s been 14 years, and he acts like he’s here [in the NHL] for two months.” Pranks were shelved while he healed, but Fleury is coming around there too. Returning to his hotel room during a recent road trip, Marchessault discovered water leaking onto the bathroom floor. Someone had sneaked inside and unscrewed the toilet pipes.

[source]

Crosby on his favorite Fleury prank: "He got stink bombs... They reek. He got at least 4-5 guys' hotel rooms with those. He found a way to pretty much evacuate a floor of the hotel with those stink bombs. He had so many. He kept it loose. There was something like that every day."

[source]

IAN COLE: “We were in L.A. last year. A large group of us went to dinner, and maybe six of us started to walk home, six of us wanted to go somewhere else. [Fleury] was in the group of six that walked home, and they were walkig by a skating rink, an outdoor skating rink. He went and rented some skates, kind of stiff-legged around the ice. Then went really fast, full-speed over the wall, tumbled over the wall and dropped like three feet to the ground, just to see what the security guards would do. They all come flying over, diving over the boards to make sure he’s OK. The other five guys are standing there just cracking up. Got a video of it, showed the boys. It was one of the funnier things I’ve seen, the security guards’ reactions. These high-school kids freaking out thinking somebody killed themselves on their outdoor rink in Santa Monica. It was pretty funny. He’s a character.”

[source]

[vid source]

Plenty of other prankster personalities have preceded Fleury. His first NHL roommate was current Montreal GM Marc Bergevin, a luminary in the field of hijinx. But few possess greater guile or wider diversity than Fleury. Over the years, his greatest practical jokes include:

Filling towels with shaving cream.

Nailing shoes to locker stalls.

Tying Coke cans to the bottom of Penguins center Evgeni Malkin’s new Porsche.

Stuffing Pittsburgh strength coach Mike Kadar’s car with packing peanuts.

Drenching teammates’ clothes in the shower and sticking them in the freezer.

Taping the spray button on a deodorant can, then lobbing that can into an occupied bathroom stall like a grenade. “Not ideal when you’re taking a No. 2,” says Devils assistant coach Alain Nasreddine, who played in Pittsburgh for bits of three seasons.

Hanging new players’ clothes from arena rafters. “If you know the rink security guys,” former Penguins forward Eric Fehr says, “you can accomplish quite a bit.”

[source]

Just. I love him so much.

Bonus #1: 

Ok...can’t make this up.  15 minutes before he takes the ice a very emotional game, Marc-Andre just snuck up behind me and SMACKED me in the back of the head!!!!   Different jersey...same man (...jerk.) -DP

[source]

Bonus #2:

Fleury on if he will prank his old teammates: "I had one in Vegas. I laughed. I can’t say it though, it’s not appropriate. Nothing so far. They should be out of their locker room now right? We’ll see." -SK

[source]

Bonus #3: Not a prank, but a great story all the same

I only spoke with Marc Andre Fleury three times during his tenure with the Penguins. Spending most of my time on the 7th floor while he rarely left the 1st didn’t afford me many chances beyond those few. But we had a funny connection that I can now share with you.

Starting in my first season anytime I introduced the team to the ice, Marc would without fail run down the runway. It took me half a season to realize he was timing his skate hitting the ice with when I said “Penguins”. To be certain, I tested him over two games. I varied my delivery. He changed his pace. Without fail, he nailed it each time.

Once I was certain, I no longer tested. In fact I took great pains to make sure we timed it without him having to kill himself. If we missed for some reason and he had a poor start I would blame myself.

By my rough estimate of four times a game over nine seasons, Marc Andre Fleury and I were in sync a little shy of 900 times.

He and I never once spoke of it. I will miss it greatly.

~Ryan Mill, Penguins public address announcer

[Source: 1, 2 and you can see a video of it happening here]

[chaos-weekly]

“That was the worst pickup line ever,” Nollie greeted, but a hint of a smile shone on her face. London flashed her a grin, surprising himself with how genuine it was. Maybe he needed more of her fresh air than he realized.

“Who said it was a pickup line?” London challenged, grabbing the rollerblades he’d bought with Bishop earlier that day. He still needed to put them on, but at least he knew they fit.

She cocked an eyebrow at him. “Everyone. Everyone knows you were using a pickup line.”

He sat down on the park bench and started unlacing his boots. They were the stylish kind, not the practical kind.

“I’m gonna need some clarification on who exactly saw this supposed pickup line,” he teased, using air quotes around pickup line. Nollie rolled her eyes at London, so hard he thought they might pop out of her head. But her smile had grown.

“My best friend. Who then showed it to at least two other people—both flirty guys—who agreed it’s a pickup line.”

London grimaced a little. Of all his pickup lines, it had to be one of his worst that got passed around her friends? Couldn’t it have been one of his more clever ones? He needed to improve his reputation, not make it worse.

“That’s vague on details. Who’s your best friend? Is it that actress you were with at the gala?” He wasn’t sure of the woman’s name, so London didn’t try and remember it. But he had seen her peppered throughout Nollie’s Instagram feed. After following her account, he had definitely stalked it. She was hot in the photos, but something about her grace and joie de vivre didn’t carry over from real life. She was even better in person. Which said a lot.

Nollie nodded, sitting down next to him and switching to her rollerblades. They were beat up and well-loved.

“Yeah, Didi Silva. She’s my roommate, too, so she knows everything that goes on in my life.” Nollie rolled her eyes at this, but she didn’t seem upset by it.

“So you told your best friend about me?” London teased, gently nudging her shoulder with his. Nollie returned the contact with a flat look.

“I tell her about all my new friends.”

Okay. She had said friends. And it wasn’t like London wanted to date anyone. But friends didn’t typically have the same attraction or tension that he and Nollie shared. Not that he wanted to get into another relationship.

“Who else are your friends?” London wasn’t asking to be nosy or inquisitive. He genuinely wanted to know. Nollie didn’t seem like the type to let very many people in fully. He’d have to learn how to be her friend slowly, but not too slowly. London still wanted to be around her and with her.

“Ainsley,” Nollie listed instantly. She stood, extending a hand to London without prompting. He smiled graciously and took it, but he made sure she was the one to drop his hand. Which took a second or two longer than usual.

“He seems interesting,” London said.

“In a good or a bad way?” Nollie’s voice had gotten a little tight. Probably defensive of her friend choices, and it wasn’t like London was going to judge her for them. They had to be better than Kendall’s crowd.

“Good. And neutral,” London answered after some thought. “Who else?”

“Xander Presley, I guess. He’s Didi’s other best friend, so he’s over a lot.”

“I’ve met him before a few times. He seemed fun.” Except maybe in a bad way, but London respected that. Parties, sex, the occasional illegal substance? What was wrong with that?

“That’s one word for it,” Nollie laughed, already lightening up around him. It made London grin wider. They skated forward, super slowly for his sake, towards the main plaza of the park. It was next to the skate park, and he wished he had brought his board. London hadn’t gone skateboarding in a while, and this made him miss it.

“What about you? Who do you hang out with?” Nollie asked, speeding up to come in front of London and face him. She was skating backwards now, not worried about what was behind her. She was fearless.

“Bishop Jeong,” London answered as quickly as she had named Ainsley. He had other friends, drinking buddies, a couple other people he hung out with, but not many. And no one else as close as Bishop. For three years his life had been added on to Kendall’s, which always took priority. He’d lost track with most of his old friends outside of the tattooing business. But Bishop and he had become close two years ago.

“Really? I didn’t see that one coming. But it makes sense.” She looked pensive, but turned to face forward before London could inquire more. “C’mon, slow poke!” Nollie called over her shoulder, her long hair flying in the wind. If she hadn’t been so exciting and beautiful, London would have groaned at the thought of skating faster. But Nollie made this actually bearable. She’d done that for him during the shoot, and she was doing it again now.

It took London a few strides to speed up, but he chased after Nollie until he caught up, right at the edge of the pavilion.

“So how do I skate backwards?” he asked. That’s what they had come for, right? To teach him.

Nollie grinned excitedly. “Just like how you skate forwards, but backwards.” The laugh that echoed from her after speaking was dazzling. It took a half second longer than usual to process her words, too distracted by her laugh and the way her wind blown hair framed her face.

“Helpful.” Cheeky was more like it. Nollie grinned and spun in her rollerblades.

“Where’d you learn to do this so well?” he asked a few minutes later, after he’d gotten more stable skating forwards and turning. They were doing laps around the area. Or rather, London was doing laps. Nollie kept coming back and forth from the center, messing around with tricks and other methods of skating. If she hadn’t been so distracting, London was pretty sure he would be as good as her by now.

Nollie’s smile dimmed, tainted by some thought that she didn’t share. “I’ve been doing this since I was a kid. I keep up with it when I have the chance.”

London barely noticed her smile changing, but he was pretty sure it had. “That’s me with skateboarding,” he told her.

She fell into stride next to him, matching his pace. “You’re a skater boy, huh?” She nudged his shoulder with hers, nearly knocking him over. Not because of her impact, but because she was so distracting. London swore profusely, but he managed to regain balance before falling.

Nollie looked somewhere between amused and guilty. Her hand covered her lips, stifling a laugh. She wasn’t doing a great job. Man, she was worse than Bishop.

“Did the tattoos not make it clear? Or the motorcycle? I’m a bad boy,” London said, smirking at her playfully. She rolled her eyes, blushing just a bit.

“Yeah, I’m sure you are.” Nollie shook her head before skating ahead of him, taking the corner with ease. London slowed down, and he had far less grace, but he didn’t fall. That was what mattered here.

“What? Don’t believe me?” he teased. He was about to offer to show her, but then London figured his suggestive meaning would probably ward her off. It was too early for that, even if her long legs were shown off perfectly in her shorts. Even if she was absolutely breathtaking in every way.

“Hm, I don’t think you’re as bad as you pretend to be.” Nollie was definitely teasing back now, making London grin wider again. She had slowed down, so he decided to do something stupid. He sped up, catching her with an arm around her shoulders. He wanted to go for the waist, but this seemed slightly less flirtatious.

Thankfully, Nollie laughed when she shrugged him off. “Okay, time to try skating backwards. I think you’re ready.”

London did not feel ready.

“Start here, like this,” she instructed, crouching down and repositioning his legs. He let her do what she needed to, too busy watching her graceful movements (and her slight cleavage) to really care that she was telling him what to do. London usually hated that, but Nollie made it easier.

“Okay,” she announced, standing up with a proud grin. “Try it. Just like skating forwards, but you’re going backwards.”

For some reason, Nollie’s advice made a little more sense now. So he tried it, and London grinned as he managed to skate backwards at a decent pace.

“This is—“ He fell before he could finish his sentence, legs sweeping out from beneath him. London swore again, and many times thereafter, as Nollie rushed over. He didn’t bother getting up by himself. He’d just fall again.

“Are you okay?” she checked, crouching beside him. London gave her a lazy smile.

“Dandy.”

“Good, then I can laugh guilt-free,” she giggled. That was another thing he usually hated, being laughed at. Bishop got away with it because he was Bishop, but apparently so did Nollie.

“So kindhearted,” London quipped. Nollie sobered up at his sarcastic—and very much joking—remark.

“Sorry. Let me help you up.” She didn’t make eye contact while helping him.

“Nollie, you’re welcome to laugh at me. You did manage to sweep me off my feet.” That was a pun pickup line, so it was better than the saving his life line.

Nollie chuckled weakly, something having changed between them. She wasn’t skating as close to him, and she seemed absent from the situation. She was also leading them back towards the bench where they’d left their shoes.

“It was a rock that swept you off your feet,” she corrected.

“Says who?” London feigned offense.

“My eyes. I saw a pebble under you right as you hit it. Sorry for not saying anything.” Nollie still wasn’t making eye contact, and he frowned.

“You’re fine. It was funny.” And it gave him an opportunity to flirt with her, but he’d messed it up somehow.

“You could’ve gotten hurt,” Nollie pointed out.

“And I would have had a friend right here to nurse me back to health,” he retorted. London wanted things to go back to how easy they had been a few minutes ago, but how did he do that?

Nollie rolled her eyes, but that hint of a smile was back. “I should get going, but thanks for meeting up with me.”

He smiled freely at her. “I had fun. I’ll see you soon, Nollie.” He almost called her Nolls, but he didn’t want to repeat his mistake from the gala. She already seemed upset enough. He’d send her a text later to make sure she was okay.

Wait. London wasn’t dating her. He didn’t want to date her. He just wanted to be friends with benefits. But friends did care about each other’s wellbeing. So it wouldn’t be weird for him to check in later. Before he could think much of it, Nollie waved and skated away, her shoes tucked under her arm.

Why was she always the one running from him?

[orbemnews]

Recapture The Thrill of Being on Wheels First came the walks — and then, seemingly all at once, the wheels. Back at the beginning of the pandemic with interminable lockdowns on the horizon, people broke up the monotony of their homestays with short jaunts on foot around the neighborhood just to get some sunlight and fresh air; or, as the writer Ruby Keane put it, “a stupid little daily walk just to feel something.” But with the arrival of warm weather came a collective need for (relatively more) speed, in the form of bicycles, skateboards, roller skates and the like. Global shortages arose as manufacturers struggled to keep up with demand for recreational wheels, and this year is shaping up similarly, with supply chains already feeling the crush of spring sales. Still, snagging these coveted items can be just the first hurdle to overcome. There has been a massive increase in first-time purchases of bikes, boards and skates, so many of the newly minted owners may need a little time to learn how to use the new equipment exactly right. Instagram lit up last summer with videos of beautiful people gliding gracefully around town on two or four wheels — often accompanied by a throwback soundtrack, in the vein of Instagram’s biggest roller-skating phenomenon, Oumi Janta — but simply staying upright is a challenge if you’ve never done it before. So whether you’re 7 or 70, thankfully there are dedicated professionals out there who are passionate about teaching people to be less wobbly on their new wheels. Act younger, feel younger. Tanya Dean, the founder of Skaterobics, a New York City-based skate school, can still remember the first time she laced up a pair of skates as a 20-something at a city roller rink in the ’90s. Packed as the venue was with experienced skaters, “the scariest part was getting on and off the floor without getting killed,” she recalled. Dean eventually figured out how to roll with the regulars, but these days she wants to make sure that her students have it easier than she did. “Learning from people who just knew how to skate, they were showing you from their point of view,” said Dean. “Being an instructor and understanding body rotation, edges, weight transfer, control, balance and coordination is different.” Her adult clientele are a mix of people who skated during their youth but haven’t done it in decades, true first-timers, and those that can get around the rink but want to enhance their footwork. Dean is also a former boxing champion, personal trainer and motorcyclist, but she has a simple reason for personal and professional focus on roller skating: “It makes you feel like a kid.” Even so, recapturing a bit of childlike joy can be a fraught experience once adult anxiety sets in. “We’re all coming into a new environment, we’re nervous, we’ve got preconceived notions — I’m aware of all that,” she said. She advises new students to maintain a positive attitude and refrain from judgment — of themselves or others. Jitters and other concerns notwithstanding, instructors like Dean and O’Neal Ellerbe, a former professional skateboarder, find that adults continue to turn out in large numbers to conquer their fears on wheels. Ellerbe, the founder and lead coach of Skate-Everything School, has skateboarded with students up to age 60. “I think Covid was a big steppingstone for a lot of people,” he said. “It gave them the courage to step out of the box and try new things.” Ellerbe learned to skateboard as a high schooler in Harlem when he asked a friend to teach him. “The next day, he called me at 6 a.m. and said: ‘I’m outside your house. I have a board for you. You said you wanted to skate, right?’ And I’ve skated every day since.” Skateboarding provided Ellerbe with “an independent challenge” and “a way of being free, in a sense,” but above all else he aims to make the experience fun. Many of his classes end with the group competing in a butt-boarding race to the bottom of a gently sloped hill — a silly, exhilarating and low-stakes way to blow off steam after practicing Tic Tacs and kick pushes. After months of small group classes, Ellerbe is looking forward to bringing even more new skaters into the fold as social distancing measures in New York City loosen up. “I’m excited about bringing demos back, bringing some events to get the community stoked,” he said. Old stereotypes die hard, and Ellerbe knows that many still have a knee-jerk negative reaction to skate culture and its denizens, but he sees an increased interest in skateboarding as a chance to shift the sport’s perception. “Maybe this is the opportunity that’s been long needed,” he said. “This is a hobby to some, a love for some, a form of transportation,” he said. “It’s impacting millions, and I think it’s beautiful.” Just relax and ride. While some instructors contend with unfavorable misconceptions about what their sport represents, Andree Sanders — also known as “Bike Whisperer NYC” — sees her work as more of a mental challenge than anything else. “I talk a lot about the amygdala and the frontal cortex and the different chemical balances of the brain, and how that affects our body and our mind-body connection,” she explained. “You are the eye and the brain of the bike, and the bike becomes your legs. And it’s that partnership and understanding, and that trust, that allows you to really be able to relax and ride.” Sanders was taught the basics of bike riding as a kid and rode throughout her childhood, but “not with the joie de vivre that one would expect.” It wasn’t until her future husband introduced her to mountain biking while they were dating that she rekindled her love of cycling. Over the years, Sanders estimates that she’s taught thousands of people from around the world, but she particularly enjoys working with adults. “Teaching an adult how to ride a bike is like handing over my superpower to them,” she said. “It gives them the sense of freedom and confidence to go places that they would never go before.” If you’ve made the decision to learn to bike, beware of programs that insist you can be taught in a set amount of time. Sanders is adamant about letting each and every client set their own pace when it comes to learning, as missing a predetermined mark can lead to frustration. “It’s a process, and nothing’s instantaneous. And everybody’s process is different.” Last year, Sanders taught her oldest client yet — a 78-year-old woman who was desperate to get out of the house — as well as a number of essential workers who needed to ride to work when commuting via subway wasn’t an option. “It’s the most amazing thing, because it allowed them independence, safety and control, which we didn’t have. Last year was so challenging because we had no control,” she said. Perhaps it’s that much-needed sense of self-determination that leads us to get on wheels, even as children — the feeling of being able to steer one’s own ship when most everything else is out of your hands. Of course, there are other perks that won’t necessarily dissipate once the world gets back to something like normalcy. Dean listed them while describing what her students get out of roller skating, but it could just as easily apply to skateboarding and biking, too. “It builds confidence, it builds community, it’s social networking … it’s exercise … so much stuff that contributes to our well-being,” she said — none of which has an age limit. Source link Orbem News #Recapture #thrill #Wheels

[shadcatmastered]

Kid x Law - Fanfiction - Two Hearts

It was very different than he had imagined. For the past two years, he had thought of Law every day. He had missed him every single day. Kid had considered what it would be like to see him again. Touch him again. To take him in his arms and hug him. Only one thing Kid had not expected. He had not expected that he would not have his arm anymore. He did not think his body was covered with scars, while Law himself looked like nothing had happened to him in recent years. At least on his body. Kid did not know what shook him so much. Maybe it was the fact that Law's lips looked as if they had barely smiled for the past two years. Because his facial expressions looked so serious, as if all lightness were lost. What had happened to Law, which had not taken his body, but his soul ...? The redhead stood and stroked his red hair back with his remaining hand. His golden bangle jingled and his black coat was tight around his shoulders. He hid his stump. Kid did not know if it was the sound of his bangle, which made Law turn around. But the black-haired did it. It was daylight and Law and two of his crew were at the harbor, right in front of the yellow submarine. They laughed and grabbed Law's shoulders as if they were the ones who had not seen the black-haired in years. For Kid, all this made no sense. Especially because Law's eyes were pleased, but his lips hardly smiled, as if they had forgotten how to do that. Law's eyes fell on him and Kid felt relieved. The black-haired man started to smile. Honest and deep, while Kid could not help grinning at the reaction. Maybe there was still something of the old Law in him. The Law he fell in love with two years ago. And the Law he always dreamed of since he did not see him anymore. Maybe there was something left of this Law. Kid went straight to the black-haired. He could see the blue eyes studying his scars. He studied his face and followed the lines up to his coat. Law's smile faded as he approached. It went into something that has probably become Law's normal expression. Blankness. "Law, how nice to see you." But Kid could not help but be happy. His heart started to flutter and he reached out his fingers and put them on Law's face. The stubble pushed against Kids' fingers and a fine smile played around Law's lips. He pressed his cheek imperceptibly against his hand. "I am also pleased." Then Law said goodbye to the members of his crew and went with Kid towards the city. They had no special goal. After taking a few steps, Kid grabbed Law's hand. He crossed his fingers together and smiled and saw the black-haired man smile as well. Kid wanted to feel something of the ease he had felt before. He had so often longed to see Law again. But somehow Kid got the idea that everything was different now. Not only Law, but he too. But in that moment in which they held hands over the strange island, all this was not so important. Just the feeling of her hands was important. "You look different, Kid. Where did you get those scars from?" Law's voice sounded interested, but it was a mild interest, not a true curiosity. ...strange. Otherwise, Law's thirst for knowledge had been insatiable. Law had been full of joie de vivre. Always something spiteful, but also full of joy. This strong character had attracted Kid. Now, Law seemed more like a mellow shadow of himself. "I fought a lot. But I won every fight. You also do different things Law. You feel different. What happened to you?" The black-haired man looked ahead. A grin pulled to his lips as he reached up with his free hand and pulled off his cap. Law's black hair looked healthy and tight. Kid would like to rub his face in and smell a little Law. "I also fought a lot. And I won, Kid. I have defeated the enemy whom I have wanted to defeat since childhood. It cost me a lot, but I did it. Is not that great?" Kid looked at Law for a while. He knew nothing of a lifelong enemy. Law had never mentioned it before. But as Law was talking, Kid asked himself if the price for the victory was not too high. It was quite obvious that the black-haired had taken a path that had fundamentally changed him. But what was Kid to judge? He, too, was completely different after those two years. And yet the redhead was so... sad. He was so looking forward to revisiting his old Law. For him, that was the day his journey would come to an end. For him ...for him Law was his one piece. He had already found it, but then let it go. Did that mean he had lost it now...? He and Law walked the city. They did not talk much. But what they did ...was buying ice cream at the ice cream parlor. Kid did not know what he was so funny about, but when Law faced him with two balls of ice, he could not help but laugh. Even Law grinned the same way as before. "Chocolate, right?" Oh yes, Kid still loved chocolate. He accepted the ice cream cone. Even if Law looked irritated, if Kid used the hand they had been holding hands with until now. ...then the black-haired had not noticed. As they licked the ice and headed for Kids Ship, they began to talk about the past. Kid reminded Law of their first kiss. That glorious first kiss, when Law had bitten him so hard on the lip that he was bleeding because he had kissed him unasked. And Law laughed. His lips twitched as if he had forgotten how that went and said: "That’s what you get from just kissing me like that!" And that was when Kid leaned forward and kissed the black-haired man. He licked the strawberry ice cream from his lips and kissed him with relish, whereupon Law chuckled and then grinned: "Come on, let's get on your ship. Because I really missed you, my crazy redhead." Kid kissed him again and Law finished his ice cream as they headed for his ship. The mood was meanwhile a lot more exuberant. They laughed and talked about the past. About how Penguin stormed into Law's cabin and his captain was about to give the redhead a blowjob. Kid laughed loudly. "You could not see it then, but his expression had been to deathly laughter!" Oh yes, they had a wonderful past together. They had enjoyed every single day. Until they both sailed to the New World ...and had not seen each other for two years. They went to Kids Ship. Meanwhile, Kid had eaten his ice cream and grabbed Law's hand again. It felt so good to hold his hand. Most members of Kids Crew were not there. Kid had given them a few days off to spend a little life on the island. Sometimes you just had to take a break. Together they entered Kids cabin and the redhead closed the door behind him. He and Law smiled at each other. It was a warmth and happiness between them. "Law, there's one more thing I have to tell you ..." But before Law went on, Law put his hands on his coat and said softly: "I know, Kid. You're in the newspaper a lot, you know that? In the last photos you had a metal arm. I had the hope that it was just a cover on your normal arm. But after today..." Law pulled off his coat and his eyes fell on his stump. Although he expected it, the black-haired man drew in a sharp breath. Law slowly raised his hands and put them on his stump. They were silent for a while. "Why did not you have your metal arm today...?" Laws voice was soft as his fingers stroked his stump. "I had heard that your ship was set up here in the harbor. I wanted to meet you the way we last saw each other. As far as it was possible. " The black-haired man looked up at his explanation and smiled slightly. "That sounds really romantic." Kid had to grin, too. But then suddenly a bitter smile pulled on Law's lips. "Do you know Kid, now I have to show you something." Hm? Confused, the redhead looked at Law, but he started undressing. First, the coat fell to the ground and then he took off his sweater. Law stood next to him, shirtless, and for a moment Kid was shocked. He had thought that Law had no scars ...but he had. His torso was riddled with bullet scars. Someone shot Law! But that was not what he wanted to show him. Law raised his right arm and what Kid saw shocked him. On Law's right upper arm, his tattoo was destroyed by a thick, brown scar. A scar that went around his whole arm and Kid understood. "I had the same fate as you. I also lost my arm. Only I could fix it again. ...you helped yourself with your own devil powers. So we went further. But is not it ironic? Although we were so far apart, we had the same fate." Law grinned. But it was a bitter, ironic grin. Whereby Law was right. It was destiny. Their shared destiny. And that was the moment when Kid wrapped his arm around Law and kissed him. He kissed him deeply and passionately and pressed his warm body against him. "Oh Law! I was scared all the time! Afraid to never see you again! Afraid never to touch you again! I had nightmares where you die. Nightmares in which we never meet again. I am so happy to see you again! I am so happy that you are back with me!" Kid called out his words in despair as he kissed Law as if he wanted to devour him. But the black-haired felt the same way. He put his hands on Kids hips and pulled down his pants before removing his own pants. The redhead could not stop kissing him. He kissed and kissed him, pushing his fingers into Law's interior, though they were still dry. Whereupon the black-haired groaned deeply. "Don’t you think I felt the same way? Don’t you think I did miss you? We had to go, Kid. We had to go our own way! We had to do what we had to do, but it's so good to see you again! Even if you look damned as if you should have died at least five times! " …was Law crying? Kid felt the tears run down his cheeks and kissed them away as the black-haired man pulled him to bed. He then sank down and pulled Kid with him. They looked each other in the eye and suddenly it was back. Everything that was between them. Their love together, the heat, the closeness. "I love you." Soft spoke Kid his words softly and Law took his cheeks as he pulled him down and kissed him: "I love you too, all the time." After that, they loved each other. They pressed their hot, emotional bodies against each other and had the most intense, longing sex Kid had ever experienced. Every single body cell seemed to scream for Law. Law seemed to feel the same way. His hands brushed off every inch of Kid's body and he moved in the rhythm of Kids bumps. Kid came into Law hot and splashing and felt Law's semen on his stomach. Then they cuddled together. They clung to each other as tightly as if they should never let each other go again. Law snuggled his face into Kids' neck crook and the redhead buried his nose in Law's hair. Their hearts beat fast and powerful. And yet they were not calm. They clasped each other tightly and then Kid started kissing Law again. He did not want to know anymore what happened to Law. The only thing he wanted to do was to protect Law in the future. Especially what was in the future. He would protect Law. They kissed and kissed each other before they slowly calmed down. They cuddled together and Kid felt the tiredness calmly. "Law, sleep with me tonight. Please." The redhead felt Law grinning as he kissed his jawbone. "Sure, tonight I'm all yours." Law's hands brushed his hip and he smiled. Before he sighed again and then said in a heavy voice: "But I'll have to leave early tomorrow. I told my crew we're going sailing at sunrise. " Kid could barely express his horror at this moment. "No ...! Law no! We have not seen each other for two years! Please, do not leave me again! " Yes, the redhead's voice was so desperate that none of his crew would recognize him at that moment. But Law also looked unhappy. "I have to... it hurts me as much as it hurts you..." The black-haired sounded bitter and sad. His fingers brushed over Kids' chest, right above his heart. "Oh Law..." Kids voice sounded broken. He wanted to cry. Could he really make the same mistake twice? Should he really let the great love of his life go again...? Who knew what they looked like the next time they saw each other ...and if they ever met again. They looked at each other in pain. ...before Law's eyes became resolute and he sat up. "Let me give you a present, Kid. A gift that I can only do once in my life and with which you know forever how I am." With these words, the black-haired man opened a room with his devilish powers. Confused, the redhead sat up. And then Law did something that opened the redhead's mouth. Law pressed his hand against his own upper body and ...pushed his heart out. Kid had known that the black-haired had such abilities. But to see it with his own eyes ...was unbelievable. Incredulously, Kid watched as Law lifted his heart from the blanket. It hit healthy and strong while it was in Law's hand. In Law's chest was a square hole. The next moment he held it out with a warm smile. "I want to give you my heart, Kid." Kid did not know what to say. He felt the emotions in him overflowing and felt the warm happiness inside him. He reached out and took Law's heart. It was alive. Wow. Love and happiness hit waves in Kid. Before he made a decision himself. "In that case, I would like to give you a present as well!" It was bright midday sun when Kids Crew went back on their ship. The redhead smiled so happy and relieved that several members of his crew already smiled with him. But the world was different now. As the ship moved, Kid closed his eyes and listened to the heartbeat in his body. It was not his heart that beat in it. It was Laws. He had given his own heart to Law and pushed Law's heart into the square opening in his chest. Law had closed the opening with his devilish powers. But Law's powers were still working. The heart in him pumped blood for Law's body and his, which was in Law's body, for him. He had a piece of Law in him. The most important piece. And he would take care of Law's life. He would protect it at any cost. His last words before falling asleep at Law had been: "Nowhere is one's life as safe as in the hands of the man who loves you."

written by Shadcatmastered

[bigyack-com]

In Memoriam: Advisors Offer Thoughts and Memories of Barry Liben

Last week, Barry Liben, chairman of Tzell Travel Group, passed away. He had a lasting impact on the business, serving as the organization’s president and CEO for nearly 40 years and chairman of Tzell Travel Group since 2016. Industry leaders and Tzell advisors have shared their thoughts and memories of Liben with Luxury Travel Advisor. Here's what they had to say: Awilda Gonzalez, SVP, operations and engagement at Tzell Travel Group “What started out as a ‘job’ turned into a career because of BARRY. (Caps automatic). What started out as a job, turned into a second family because of Barry. He believed in me and helped me realize my strengths. Today, as SVP of culture and operations, I use everything that I learned from Barry, plus what he already saw in me. Barry was my boss, my friend, my mentor. He taught me it was OK to have fun at work, let the kid inside out every now and again. He showed me the value of loyalty, honesty. And most of all, good guys can finish first. I will miss him always.” Leslie Tillem, Eltee Travel Group, a division of Tzell Travel Group “I met Barry almost 20 years ago when he wanted me to join Tzell. That meeting was all it took to make my decision. While Barry was a highly regarded industry icon and leader to all of us at Tzell, he was my friend and I admired him for so many reasons. He was always honest, fair and a mentor to so many of us. I remember looking forward to our monthly Tzell meetings. His incredible sense of humor and timing was always the highlight. I will forever remember him as the quintessential family man who always made time for the people that mattered most.  As busy as we can be in travel, Barry lived for his family and as I witnessed his dedication to them that lesson helped me keep the priorities in my life straight. He was a leader and an inspiration to all of us and loved by so many. To Barry, I’d like to thank him for the memories and the many life lessons. He will be forever dearly missed.”

Free Luxury Travel Newsletter

Like this story? Subscribe to The Dossier Luxury Travel Advisor’s only newsletter, covering unique destinations and product news for affluent travelers. Delivered every Tuesday & Thursday. Cathleen Casey, Tzell Travel Group “It is hard to overstate the impact a strong mentor can effect on a life. Barry Liben’s presence in mine will last a lifetime. My time with Barry was relatively short compared with some of my colleagues, who worked with him for decades. I had just one. But it was more than enough to realize what an extraordinary man he was. I quickly learned that Barry could always be counted on to simplify the seemingly most intractable problems in an instant by boiling things down in a few questions. His office door was always open to me when I needed his advice or to just to visit and have a few laughs. I told him once that his sense of humor reminded me of Groucho Marx, to which he responded that this was the greatest compliment I could ever have bestowed upon him. His wisdom, generosity, humor, loyalty, spirit and joie de vivre live on through all of us he touched, and we are all better humans for having shared his world.” Steven Bear, Bear & Bear Travel, Tzell Travel Group “In September of 2008, Bear & Bear Travel started our first day at Tzell as ICs. The Friday prior, I received a call from Barry Liben wanting me to hear from his mouth that Tzell Travel Group was purchased by Travel Leaders Group and any agreements we made in writing or handshake would always be honored. Our first day, Jody Bear, myself and the entire Bear & Bear team were amazed on how fluid the day, and then month, went. September was exclusively dedicated to Show Time for the fashion world, which was our niche business at the time, this meant a lot of tickets, changes and demands. Our first month turned out to be the best month our business ever produced, our staff was amazing, but Barry made sure every department had a presence in our offices in order to circumvent any problems quickly. “October 2008, the bubble burst, as many other businesses the fashion world ground went down to a halt. We. for all purposes. were out of business and 12 faces looking at us for guidance. In November of 2008, Barry called me to his office: He said, “Steven, I never saw anyone in business get the s—t kicked out of them like you did.” We only worked under the Tzell umbrella for two-and-a-half months, yet we met a number of times to negotiate but for all practical purposes except for reputation, we were strangers. Barry told me, ‘Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered, whatever you need, however you want to run your business I’ve got your back.’ If we were at a different agency, we would have had our possessions in a box and, at the best, seated in a hole in the wall and told to fire our staff. Today, we are exclusively in the concierge/luxury travel business with offices in New York and Seattle. There was no way in the world we would have been able to be in this position if it wasn’t for Barry Liben.” Marian Lyn, Status, an affiliate of Tzell Travel Group “Barry is the true story of a self-made man. He was my friend, a role model and a wonderful CEO. He was family to me and the entire Tzell family. I am so incredibly proud of and in love with his wife, children and grandchildren. They were Barry’s life, and anyone could see the pure joy on his face whenever he spoke of them. He loved his family so much and it was inspiring and always showed. Barry was and forever be the nucleus of the Tzell family. He was an incredible leader for us. Barry had that God-given gift of being able to ‘read’ people and act off of intuition. We shared many of the same values: ‘My word is my bond;’ be honest; work hard; and bring a little ‘crazy,’ which I did and yet that door was always open, and he was always reachable. “The loss of Barry is immeasurable. Barry was the voice in the travel agent community and always fought the fight for us. He led us and laughed with us.  Barry knew how hard the agents worked day and night and recognized our dedication. He built a work family and I hope he was so proud of those accomplishments. Barry truly redefined the travel industry. He was loyal to us and always did what was right for everyone. In addition to being one of the best negotiators, Barry was one of the best storytellers and ‘roasters,’ keeping us all in stitches at our annual party to recognize years of services at Tzell. Only he could be that visual storyteller. Barry always sent out yearly happy birthday messages; he wanted to make sure we knew that he cared. Barry gave us a fun work environment, filled with ice cream and bingo. When we would have our ‘fireside’ chats, we would laugh so hard in Barry’s office. “Barry would always ask, ‘How are you?’ ‘How is your family?’ ‘Are you taking care of yourself?’ And the conversations would always end in ‘Be good, stay out of trouble and I LOVE YOU.’ My friend, Barry, I will miss him dearly! May he rest in peace and hope he knows how much he meant to us. I will miss our fireside chats and the laughter and will love him forever. I have the memories, so I did not lose Barry, but I have 20 years of memories which I forever cherish. I am TZELL!” Andi Henig, A Team Tours, an affiliate of Tzell Travel Group “It was the winter of 1992, way before everyone had cell phones and laptops. If you had work to do you stayed at the office and worked into the night. Alan and I were working on a national tour of a group of comedians headed by Dennis Leary. Barry had been wooing us to come over to Tzell to join his curated group of agents. He called at about 7 p.m. and asked one more time for us to join the company; this time, we finally said yes. He saw in us what we hadn’t even dreamed we could become. Barry knew just how to get the most out of everyone on his team. For the A Team, that meant leaving us alone most of the time to grow in our own way. He knew that Alan’s story was very close to his own journey growing up in Brooklyn. Barry knew that my Yale education and tenacity made us a great team. Barry loved the fact that we had both been Broadway actors before becoming travel agents. Barry loved the theatre and always wanted to know what shows we were working on and what the big, new hit of the season might be. “Just a few weeks ago, he came by the office to make his rounds. Barry looked at all of the show posters lining the walls of our office and felt the pride that came from knowing how much he contributed to making the A Team the success it is today. Though we won’t get any more visits like that, his positive spirit will always be a part of our lives going forward. Barry’s belief in what we could accomplish before we even dared to envision what we have achieved today was his gift to us. How we will miss him. How lucky were we to have been a part of his life for over a quarter of a century?” Eric Hrubant, CIRE Travel, a division of Tzell Travel Group “What made Barry stand apart was he really valued relationships and he really always cared for people. He always wanted to make sure that everyone's business was a success, and he didn't care how you did it, he didn't care what you called yourself, what you looked like—he just wanted you to run your business your way. There was no micromanagement involved. He really believed that everyone at Tzell knew what was best for them and he was here to support them to sort of do their best and do good work. And that's my lasting memory of him. After being at his memorial, the recurring theme was how Barry really did take care of people. If you came to him with a problem, whether big or small, he would go to bat for you. He was definitely a good figurehead for Tzell Travel, where he respected every agent that worked here no matter how big or how small. What I liked when I came to Tzell was he let me run my business my way and if I needed support, whether to solve a problem or to find ways to grow, you could go to him and he would personally help or have someone else on the team help, if it was their expertise. “Do you know what I really liked about Tzell? When you come into Tzell, we are a casual and fun office and I think just the spirit of fun really helps people succeed. I couldn't be CIRE Travel at other agencies. He was very happy to let me be CIRE Travel, a division of Tzell and have my own branding and do what worked well for me but having the power of Tzell behind me. That I could have my own autonomy within Tzell. It's the leverage, the buying power anytime I needed. If you wanted to come through Tzell every day in a three-piece suit, you could, if you want it to come in shorts and t-shirt every day, you could. He just wanted to create a space for people, excelled and he did.” Matthew D. Upchurch, Chairman and CEO of Virtuoso “When an industry icon leaves us, we are united in our grief and our appreciation for the contribution they’ve made to a profession we all love and value. Barry Liben was tireless in his support of travel advisors and the entire agency community. It was evident in the loyalty he inspired while growing Tzell as well as in his leadership of Travel Leaders Group’s entire portfolio. We all owe Barry a debt of gratitude for continually raising the bar and making us strive to do better, whether on the agency or partner side of the business. Barry always had my admiration for the humanity he brought to this business, and we both shared as a driving force our passion for life, family and professional purpose. During this difficult time, my thoughts are with Barry’s immediate family as well as his extended Tzell and Travel Leaders family.” Read the full article

[tumbleon]

New Years in New Zealand

Christmas belongs to the northern hemisphere. But on New Years Eve, there is nowhere better to be than New Zealand.

So many holidays seem backwards in New Zealand. For one, I’ll never get used to sipping Chardonnay on a deck drenched in summer sunshine on Christmas Day. Christmas belongs in the northern hemisphere, where you gather because it’s cold, bask in company to stave off winter’s depression, and wrap yourselves in blankets while opening presents. 

My niece (supported by my hiding sister) and nephew, Christmas in Libertyville, Illinois, 2008. 

But New Years Eve only makes sense in New Zealand. 

“I never miss a New Years in New Zealand,” I told the American professor sitting next to me on the December 28 flight to Auckland from Chicago, who was headed to a conference in Otago. As my flight took off I had promised a friend in the Midwest I would try and get a photo of what it felt like to spent New Years in New Zealand with my friends. 

“Where are you going?” the professor asked.

“Auckland,” I replied, unable to suppress a smile as I said it. 

View of the Auckland skyline at sunset from the Waiheke Ferry, 2007. 

“I wrote a novel about the friends I met within weeks of moving there 15 years ago,” I said. “I’m pretty much headed straight to them.” 

A few of the stars of my novel at my 21st birthday party, with the inspiration for Jack in the center at Flat 56 in Auckland, 2005.

“Your second family,” she said.

I smiled wry. “What designates who comes first? Chronology or hierarchy?”

I may have been born in Chicago, but I found myself in New Zealand. Yet when people think of New Zealand, they often think of visuals like this. 

Sunset in Opononi over the Tasman Sea, North Island of New Zealand, 2008.

Yet landscape photos of New Zealand don’t really capture the experiences I’ve had. My friends in New Zealand don’t like rugby and they don’t climb mountains. My friends are Antipodean urban rats. Some of the best times I’ve ever have been prowling K Road with Matt, who goes by Karma Chaos when dressed in drag. 

One of my favourite photos of Karma Chaos kicking ass while performing on K Road, 2007. 

Often I would take the stage alongside him, pantomiming on the guitar I dragged around ever since leaving Illinois but at the time rarely plugged in.

Doing some back-up guitarist for Karma Chaos at Wigarama, Family Bar, on Karangahape Road, Auckland, 2007. 

Matt is so full of life and adventure at the time I thought I would spend a wild few months with him and then watch him dance off into the sunset, our paths never to cross again. I was wrong. Our friendship is one of the longest and most loyal I’ve ever had. When Matt got married in 2015, I was the photographer. 

Matt and Gian on their wedding day in Auckland, 2015. 

By the time I landed Matt and Gian were already in Whangamata, about two hours outside of Auckland. There is something about the air in Auckland that I sense as soon as I step off the plane. It speaks to me: You are exactly where you are supposed to be. Your life is about to change in ways you could never imagine, but only if you let it. 

Rather than roll straight off the 16-hour flight and onto a bus, I spent a day in urban solitude, acclimatising to the city’s rhythms. 

When I turned off Kitchener Street, my spirit still lifts at the sight of the massive tree branches that seem defy gravity and turn the pathway into Albert Park into a tunnel. 

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Hannah Herchenbach (@highwhitesound) on Dec 30, 2019 at 3:40pm PST

Inside the park, a couple snuggled under one of the trees against the Sky Tower, which many Aucklanders hate--especially those who remember the city without--but I always loved its single spire cutting through the sky. 

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Hannah Herchenbach (@highwhitesound) on Dec 30, 2019 at 3:45pm PST

After journalling against a tree I grabbed a few pieces of sushi at my favourite spot on High Street and headed to the Tepid Baths for some sauna and swimming sets, backstroking as the sun streamed onto the water through the skylights. They’re a bit fussy about photos in there so I didn’t whip my phone out, but here’s an image from NewsHub to get a sense of what it feels like. In your imagination, add some rows of bunting in primary colours; floating past them on your back is such a relaxing sight. 

(To be fair, the photo is from an article about the pools being closed due to a legionella outbreak; no place is perfect). 

On my way back to Britomart, it was winter and midnight in Chicago, where I had been not 24 hours before. In Auckland, it was seven pm on a summer’s evening; people were sunning in the grass downtown as the sun set behind the buildings. 

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Hannah Herchenbach (@highwhitesound) on Dec 30, 2019 at 3:26pm PST

Fifteen years on, I still marvelled: I can’t believe this place exists. 

After waking up on New Years Eve, I stopped by the Tepid Baths again before getting on the bus to Whangamata around noon. I could have dried, straightened, and styled my hair. But also, fuck it. 

Gian picked me up in Thames and we rolled across the Coromandel Peninsula to Whangamata. Eleven of us were staying in a house that Lucas had been given to live in as part of his job working for Water Care, which was how he was getting his permanent residency. Technically speaking, it was a bach, which is shorthand in New Zealand for “a few planks thrown together, no heating, little electricity, and not much thought put into it.” 

When New Zealand wants to publicise itself, it shows off landscapes. It does not show the houses. Gian and I cast our eyes over the sign that had been spray-painted on a plank of wood leaning against the deck. 

“Happy new year bithes?” we mused. 

Matt was grinning from ear to ear inside, a drink lodged in his hand. “Happy New Year bitches!” he cried. “Did you see the sign? Did you spot it?” 

“It’s missing a C,” I said. 

“I KNEW you would notice,” he replied. “Yulie did it.” 

“My English isn’t very good!” Yulie cried. She had moved over from Russia two years ago and had no intention of going back. Long may it last, she said of her time in New Zealand. Residency dependent. 

“It’s our new name for our crew!” Matt cried. “We are The Bithes!” 

Matt frowned at the sight of my air-dried hair and fresh face. “You don’t style yourself at all when you’re not with me,” he cried.

“I’m not going to not go swimming just to impress you, Matt,” I replied.  

Matt pulled at my hair, applied eyeshadow, called for lipstick. He stepped back. “There! Now you look like you have a home! God, you looked like we picked you up off the side of the ROAD!” 

I smiled. “Yeah, and you know why I do it? ‘Cause I know you’ll always pick me up anyway.”  

Matt sighed. “True.” He put a final piece of hair into place. “Now you look how you’re supposed to: like a rock star.” 

Gian and Lucas fussed in the kitchen over potatoes and lamb and ham that Matt glazed. Another contrast to the few New Zealand cultural cliches is that my friends are also rarely from New Zealand. Matt came over from the UK as a kid. His partner Gian is from Brazil. As we ate, we marvelled how amongst the crew of 11, only three were from New Zealand. We were born all over the world: Brazil, Poland, Russia, the UK, the United States, Zimbabwe. Yet we had all met in New Zealand. We crossed paths through looking for the same thing: adventure, freedom, presence, joie de vivre. 

This is not unusual. As of 2016, 39% of the people in Auckland are foreign-born migrants, making Auckland more diverse than New York or London. 

“Never done it before,” Matt said of the glaze. It was beautiful, we all agreed. 

As the night wore on, none of the photos of New Years Eve quite captured that free-spirited feeling of being in New Zealand that I envisioned. We could have been having a dance party anywhere, hair slowly getting messed, irises growing wider by the minute. 

Matt and I held each other and marvelled at our 15 years of friendship. The last New Years I had spent with him was one decade ago: 2009 rolling into 2010, before moving to the South Island. 

“This year, we return to the stage,” Matt insisted.

“Fuck yes,” I agreed. “We’ll write some more songs, too.” Our band had finished one song but written parts of another dozen and had about 17 hypothetical albums, most of which were only titles. 

Somewhere around 4.30am I fell into a horizontal position, leaving Gian in the hands of Matt and Grant. Gian thought he was on K Road. Matt and Grant had plenty of questions for him. 

“I’m going to Family Bar,” Gian said. 

“Okay,” Matt replied, calm as. “You go ahead. I’ll be there in five minutes. 

Gian didn’t move. 

“Wait,” Matt said. “What about the guys we were going to sleep with?” 

Gian thought for a minute. “They’re at Hannah’s.”

Matt and I looked at each other. “Who is?” 

“The guys from Grindr.” 

“All of them?” we marvelled. 

“No.” Gian paused. “Some of them.”

“How many?” Matt pressed. 

Gian hesitated. “Twenty.” 

Matt and I doubled over in laughter. “Twenty?” 

The room started to stir sometime in the afternoon. Lucas, Antony, and Gian drew us to the beach, which was a five-minute walk away. It was a New Years Day tradition in Brazil to jump seven waves for good luck.  

New Years Day 2020, Whangamata Beach, New Zealand

We walked towards the water in a line and jumped seven together, calling out the numbers as they passed. 

“Now nothing bad will happen this year,” Antony said. 

Afterwards we dove under the waves, splashed, doggy paddled, and floated on our backs.

“The North Island is a different country!” I cried. Try relaxing in the water in a bikini on the South Island. Get back to me once the feeling returns in your feet. I give it a week. 

I insisted on a portrait of Matt and Gian on the beach, four years on from their wedding. 

Matt and Gian at Whangamata Beach, 1 January 2020

Everyone else was staying in Whangamata for another five days, but as much as I love the party lifestyle, I cannot stay. It was time to return to the South Island. Yet after some strife in Chicago, I was relaxed, refreshed, ready to return to the PhD. My sacral chakra had opened. Auckland was within me. 

My last afternoon we headed to a waterfall that had slowed to a trickle due to months without rain. Still, the pools were deep enough for cannonballs. I sat in the shallows between the pools and tried one last time for the photo. Ashley surfaced in the water behind me as I panned. 

“Smile, Ashley,” I said as I moved the phone in her direction. “This is a panoramic shot.” 

“Ah!” she cried, mouth open, trying to move out of the way as I passed. 

“Kind of like Lord of the Rings,” we mused. 

“That image is going to haunt me,” Antony said, zooming in. 

Nailed it. 

[penelope-and-wonders]

Replies

@igglemouse replied to your photoset:

Ahhh my favorite mustache T_T

The Sisterhood of Eternal Mustache of Luke just got the honorary member ♥

@romeo-and-simulet replied to your photoset:

professor Broccoli?

Well, originally they were Professor Bracaloni, but I decided it would be funny if Ferns mispronounced it :D

@shaysugar replied to your photoset:

I like this little detail of them doing chores/gardening together while having a casual talk. Really bring the reality in

I’m so happy you like it!!! Thank you!! ♥ I mean I always worry it’s not exciting enough but I never know how to go without ‘cause life kinda consists of moments like that, and they kinda determinate characters?? And make them whole?? I dunno, I’d miss them if I didn’t have them in my story, that’s for sure!

@shaysugar replied to your post:

Where do I sign? I'm in XD Mustaches for the win

There’s no formal signing in procedure actually. You just need to stand in the center of the biggest town square that is near you and yell ‘OH DEAR LORD I LOVE ME SOME GREAT MUSTACHE’. After that you may consider yourself signed in! If you also get yourself a husband/wife that day, the Sisterhood will take the credit xD

@shaysugar replied to your post:

pretty sure a lot of that skill comes from your journalism skills :D And age too, cuz that's what I realized after reaching 30s. Age is wisdom

Well yeah, actually I agree with you. My studies gave me a lot. I know it’s kind of popular to say that Uni gives you nothing, well at least in Russia it’s quite popular, but I think Uni gives you as much as you want to take. As for the wisdom, yeah. Being 30 I’m totally different person from being 25. A went through a lot of changes during that period of my life, and I grew a lot. I actually love being 30. I didn’t love being 14 or 20, although I enjoyed those years. But now I know I love my age.

@shaysugar replied to your post:

^yes! And I didn't even know that until Luke was stached

That clearly was Providence that told me to stache him! :D

@tinwhistletoo replied to your photoset:

Just chillin' with her dad!:)

With her dad and his mustache, hehe! I’m sorry. I had to do this... xD

@tinwhistletoo replied to your post:

Support groups?? I haven't gotten the memo! I need one of those support groups!!

Why would you need a support group? It’s me who needs a support group considering what you do with me with your stories! T_T We need something like Anonymous Tinwhistletoo Readers. Hello, my name is Daria, and I follow Jana on Tumblr.

@tinwhistletoo replied to your photoset:

I love Ocean!!:)

And I love you ♥

@tinwhistletoo replied to your photoset:

Oh! Oops! Misread it - it's Ronk!!!

Why are you laughing at ‘Ronk’? It’s very masculine to my ears! Do you Swiss people call something of interest ‘a ronk’? Genitals maybe? Do tell me the truth please :p

@neopixiesims replied to your photoset:

Didn't know Luke likes soaps

He doesn’t! He’s just spending time with his daughter who likes soaps. He doesn’t even realize she’s watching a show, hehe!

@neopixiesims replied to your post:

WHO THE EFF WAS SENDING YOU HATE?!

LOL, Nicks, that was anon hate, how do I know who did it? If I did, it would ruin the anonymity of the thing xD It would ruin the whole  concept xD Oh! I Know! I found the way to ruin anon hate now!!!

@neopixiesims replied to your post:

1big 1 small... that's what she said

Err... I don’t get it?? It’s like there are two penises around, one big and one small? xD

@neopixiesims replied to your post:

Soooo you do like staches....

Danny mustache too. Don't forget Dan the stache man

I do love Luke’s stache. I do love you despite us being apart, and over, and all this shit. I do not like Danny’s stache. Whatever you say, whatever Jules says, Danny was and always will be a soulless commercial slut to me. Nothing will change that. Nothing. Even the plushie. Even the drama man. Although... drama man may be able to change it ‘cause he’s all-powerful!

@oakglow replied to your post:

Yes! Fayce! I knew it would stick ����(fern and jayce emojis)

Yeah! Originally, we had two option, ‘Fayce’ and ‘Jern’, but everybody liked ‘Fayce’ more. I liked ‘Jern’ better though ‘cause I associated it with ‘gems’, but Fayce won so I fell in love with it ‘cause I always fall in love with the option I have ‘cause this is the way of enjoying life and not being sad about it being all wrong LMAO

@simsomedia replied to your post:

Dude no one sends sunshine hate. If you do I will beat you. Just no, not my sunshine.

You know what? I thought about it and realized that maybe it wasn’t that bad?? I mean, I’m thirty, I’m quite mature to know this hate won’t affect me if I don’t let it affect me, but at the same time this person who sends this hate has to feel some relief from all the hate they feel so I kinda help them feel better?? Although I have to admit, that’s awful and really sad when you need to send someone hate to feel better :(

@furiouslydecaffinated replied to your photoset:

I loooooove them!

And I love Emilia and Yulian T_T Please, don’t hurt my babies T_T

@neutralsupply replied to your photoset:

Yas Nutella the Argyles know what's up

I was one of those who “don’t love” Nutella... Then I got myself a jar and stopped to lie to myself...

@neutralsupply replied to your post:

You have a thing for a lot of things Daria

YES! This state of mind’s called ‘joie de vivre’! :p

@neutralsupply replied to your post:

3 small posts means I can like them THREE TIMES AS MUCH!! Yeeeeeey MORE LOVE FOR DARIA!! ❤️❤️

That is because Zina is generous and gives Daria a lot of love, but there are stingy people that rather give one love instead of three loves. Three loves! Can you imagine?? You give three loves away, and it feels like you are out of love now!

@simwithsparkles replied to your photoset:

I think he will definitely charm her!!

I dunno, he still has this bad boy look... Plus, he hasn't had a lot of experience with moms that are not drunk or high... Meaning I haven't actually decided on Ocean’s attitude toward Jayce yet LOL

@simwithsparkles replied to your post:

You are magical to me!! ❤

This is great 'cause you 100% magical to me!!! ♥

@buckleysimss replied to your post:

I adore your replies. You're always so thoughtful and sincere in what you say. ♥

OMG, thank you so much for saying this! I never knew what to say to people who didn’t know me from when I was like five. I mean what do you say to people that are nice to you, and you care for them but there are no years and years of common memories and togetherness between you? And then one day I realized that for some reason people are okay with me just expressing myself, you know? They also seem to be interested in weird stuff I’m saying like for example why do you think all aliens are bald and not furry, I mean Alf was furry? I mean sometimes they look at me like I’m a bit crazy but that’s not a bad look, that’s like, oh how sweet this crazy person is xD

@buckleysims replied to your post:

I would join! I am always hungry, and I really like muffins. And mustaches. ;)

You know what? I just realized how one can promote mustache as a new world trend! You just need to make a co-promotion for mustaches and muffins! It would be a fun bundle to sell to audience!

@simmingswimmingly replied to your photoset:

Best mom award goes to Ocean

Or maybe she’s so good, and calm, and kind because she hasn’t actually met Jayce yet? Who knows what’s coming for them? Not me, that’s for sure xD

@cowardlypixels replied to your post:

i got fun parent!

Congrats! That’s a good one! May a be your kid? ‘Cause I’m not sure if I want to be my own kid LOL

@authenticdragontears replied to your post:

Lmao I got relaxed parent!

LOL This one is interesting! I wonder if it’s even possible to be a relaxed parent? I can’t even imagine it but hey, I am a strict one after all xD

@authenticdragontears replied to your photoset:

That is absolutely gorgeous, awe-inspiring! Can I live there??

In which capacity, my dear? It’s Fern’s house after all xD

@simlishanddreams replied to your post:

You're so mean! LOL just wait till your toddler decides to chomp down on a sibling.

Hey, lady! I’m not mean, I’m strict, there’s a difference! LMAO

@simcataris replied to your post:

COF don't we all have a thing for daddies?? COF

Surprisingly not, not all of us! But I’m glad we are on the same page here :D

@eslanes replied to your post:

Oh god yes! I think giving a stache had the opposite effect!

I’m afraid some heretics still aren’t on our side... But I assure you, it’s the question of time, they will find the right way, the way towards Luke’s Stache... :D

@eslanes replied to your post:

Um I disagree, your stories are the best!

Thank you so much, sweetie!! I really really like your story too!! ♥ ♥ ♥

@eslanes replied to your photoset:

I completely approve of the misbehaving

But of course you do, my little rebel :p

@tabbyrh replied to your post:

Honestly I'm such a big fan of your writing that I'll read however you post. Sorry I know that's not helpful but it's true!

OMG, thank you so much, Tabby! Your words make me so happy!!! I mean it means a lot to hear a compliment from such an experience writer as you!!! Thank you, sweetie!

@mdianasanders replied to your post:

Short/small. I tend to skip long posts and think I'll read them later, but in practice I never do (I would make an exception for you though)

I’m blushing like crazy now!!! Thank you for doing an exception for me ♥ Being an exception is one of the most pleasant thing in life, hehe ♥

@josiesimblr replied to your post:

I think you're such a compelling writer, either choice would make your readers happy! But I prefer one long big post, I feel it keeps the flow smoother and is more coherent than small posts where you kinda have to backtrack to catch up. But I do like to see my fave Simblrs post frequently, so there's that lol.

You called me a compelling writer, I’m cryinggggg T_T What? Why? How? No one ever called me a completing writer! It feels like it’s the best complement ever!!! Thank you so much!!! And I agree with you, that is exactly why I find long post more comfortable?? suitable?? for storytelling.

[thefederalistfreestyle]

[. . .] If you’ve heard of “Hamilton,” chances are you’ve come in contact with Karns’ work. He landed the eventual Tony winner while working out of his backpack. Across its social media channels, “Hamilton” has enough followers to found a small nation. It’s a fervor that Karns builds with his phone, joie de vivre and an emphasis on relationships, he says. The M&Ms are optional. “Hustle over everything,” he said. “I think that’s a huge reason why we’ve been able to grow as quickly as we have.” The Penn State graduate recently returned to his alma mater to share his experience with students and was honored with an Alumni Achievement Award. Through an internship during his junior year, the former stage management and lighting design major developed connections with the general manager of “Miss Saigon.” Maintaining those, he said, helped him get the job. In an homage to “Hamilton,” he tells recent graduates similar advice. “Talk less,” he said. “Listen more.” [. . .] Q: When you landed “Hamilton,” you were still working out of your backpack. Talk to me about that time of your life. A: (Laughs) It was nuts, man. I have built a career for myself on taking risks and doing things where I don’t necessarily have all the equipment and skills for, so it was really a learning-by-the-seat-of-my-pants environment. The story I always love to tell is when we went down to the White House with the cast of “Hamilton,” we shot a bunch of videos there. We shot three “Ham4Ham” videos while we there. And I, for whatever reason, I thought it was fine for me to be filming those on my iPhone, so there I am in the White House in the East Room, with all of the social media and digital staff of the White House and they were looking at me. But yeah, that was a time of discovery, of what the opportunity was within the space I was in, and a time when I was really able to learn what I wanted to get out of it and how I could go about making those things happen. Q: What would Mike Karns of 2017 tell Mike Karns of 2013? A: (Laughs) I think the biggest thing I’d tell myself in 2013 is to take full advantage of all of the relationships that I was making at the time, and to use the opportunities that I have to learn and really understand how Broadway works and how I fit in that puzzle. The social media thing is awesome, and I think I’ll always have this company and it will always do this. I think I personally will do bigger things than just this company, but what’s cool about this company is it offers me the access and ability to learn from people like Jeffrey Seller, the dude who is the producer of “Hamilton.” He works two doors over from me, and I go sit and have conversations with him a couple of times a week, and just pick his brain. When he was my age, 28, he produced “Rent,” so talk about an upward trajectory. So the ability to learn from these people has been really incredible. [. . .] Q: What advice do you give recent graduates? A: To go back to the “hustle.” There are a lot of people who have a lot of incredible talents whom I’ve met during school, my career and coming back to Penn State, and what I’ve found is the differentiator is how hard they’re willing to hustle. The people I look to hire, I’ll take hustle over innate skill any day of the week. The other is that (having) built a business on the back of making, maintaining and maximizing relationships. I think that it is the strongest skill that I have, and I think it’s the most important thing for young people to utilize. Making the relationship is tough, but probably the easiest of the three steps. You make that relationship and find people who you want to learn from and reach out to them. Just say “hey can I get together with you.” The next step is the hardest: maintaining that relationship. It’s not a matter of meeting somebody once and never staying in touch with them. The reason I am working on “Miss Saigon” is because in 2010 I interned at a general management office. I realized that I never wanted to be a general manager, but also realized that these were people who were going to be important to me in whatever path I chose. I maintained those relationships with them for six years with no opportunity for benefit until “Miss Saigon” came along. Because I had maintained those relationships, it wasn’t like “oh, who is this kid?” I was already there and I was ready to maximize it.

Social media manager for ‘Hamilton,’ ‘Miss Saigon’: ‘Talk less, listen more’ (Centre Daily Times)