#i love how exited he was when he discovered how to find the fan community

[rat-rosemary]

I think it will always be a red flag to me when creators minimize their fan bases/fan culture to just a bunch of teenagers, not only because off the issues that causes with communication with the creator when there's a need to discuss problems in the community but also because it kinda makes you feel bad for being a fan

That's why I like Dream's and Bdubs' approach to their fans so much

I mean Mister Dream knows-yaoi-ship-grammar Wastaken is kinda obvious, he has been a fan so he treats us with a base of respect and empathy and "those are more then just numbers, those are individuals people"

He has the fanart account and the monthly shoutouts of artists and is interactive because he gets fandom and he values the community

But what I find absolutely wonderful was Bdubs "discovery of dark twitter" and the absolute wonder he had when discovering more of fan content. And he did not get it originally! He didn't get shipping, he didn't know the words, and he treated it all like it was the most wonderful adventure ever!

Like the love the fans have for him and the art we create was the most amazing gift ever! And Aaaaaaaaaa it just brings me so much joy you know?

I wish more creators interacted with their fan base like this you know? Because I get just letting the fans have their space and vibe, but most times creators are kinda dismissive or almost berating to fans

[the-hellsing-organisation]

You want to know why i love Hellsing, Hellsing Fandom and, mainly, the most hated character of manga universe ?

(It's a long story but a good story)

I don't know how i could to love Zorin Blitz, so everybody hated her for the murder of Pip and the torture of Seras during that Rip was the phantasm of the fandom. It's probably when i begin to ship Rip with Zorin, my first Yuri relationship and when i wrote on them, i saw that we could more do with them. When the depression touched me the first time, it's the writing who help to exit after two years of pain, and the universe of Hellsing are contributed. I begin to write or imagine many scripts of stories in my last year of studies. I'm not gifted for to imagine a character with nothing, i always need a reference, a model, and after used the characters of shinigamis (and some others) of Black Butler/Kuroshitsuji, i use Hellsing characters, but it mainly was Zorin, Rip, Alucard, Captain and one time The Major. But the Hellsing Organization gave me also an idea for to create a French Organization (always in my writing projects). And during these times of characters creations, i begin to fall of love of Zorin. She become my muse for my projects stories and a reference in the creation of my future's main characters. I toke one of "part" of Zorin (vampire Zorin, soldier zorin, witch Zorin, sadistic/bad Zorin, blood Zorin…) and i create a new character with Zorin Blitz as a spiritual mother.

More later, I discovered Amino and the Hellsing community, but in English. My English was awful at this time (even i can't to speak English today) and i scared to be ejected because i was French. But the people are okay, i'm a fan of Hellsing and it's the proof that Hirano impacted all the world. I can't to speak English, but the fandom accept me as i am. The same day when i join this Amino, @valentine-rampage contact me in MP and tell me "I leaned French in my school and i've Canadian origin, i maybe can French with you". She become fast my friend and, joked together on the idea where Zorin is a mom with Rip, my friend told me "Well ! I'm 16 years old, i old on this amino, you are probably young" but i said "Young ? i'm 23 years old ! XD" It's surprise for Rip but i become "Maman Zorin". And it's always as this today. On Amino, i meet some people, some French but they gone all, but an only French of South of France, 17 years old today, love to speak with me. He is my only lector on Wattpad. A Hans Gunshe/Captain become a friend but because it's always complicated to me to speak in English, we speak little but when you decide to speak together, even a long time, we are always friended.

At the end of 2021, i find my first job but i suffer with moral harassment. The last day, my boss yell in the factory "She don't know to France Express [send packages], she don't know to use the printer, she knows nothing !!" I fall suddenly in the depression after three years of struggle. This depression is as a parasite who infect my brain and all my world become complicated. So, during this period, i finished to abandon Amino because i don't support to can not to speak English. I'm crying every day and my life become bad and Hellsing is just a memory. Also, during that, i decide to join the Resident Evil Village Fandom, but it's a failure, and my depression transform this as something of bad. And Alcina, the Queen of the web, became the incarnation of my depression. And in the beginning of 2022, i don't know how i can to survive. Also, in February (you remember maybe) i did a suicide tentative with a cutter. This day, i want to die but i want to live also, but i don't find to help and i post on tumblr "i need help". It's my best friend of help me to this day but i'm shocked by this event.

But after that, i begin to fight, step by step, and guess who came back in my head for help me ? Zorin Blitz. Before, i loved Zorin Blitz because her muscles, her determination and his courage. It was my model and my muse. Now, she's in my head the incarnation of my war against the depression. She came back as a white globule against the infection. When in March, i decide to write a cross-over between Millenium and the Ford Lord of RE8, i discovered during the writer that, under the joke of the story, there are my battle against the depression. And in May, i will back in Hellsing Fandom as a traitor who ask pardon.

Today, i continue to fight and i feel as i begin to go back up the slope even i feel little sad when nobody sent me a message for Rp with me on my Zorin RpBlog and the event with my post is always in head. But i always remember, when the members of fandom are defended a fan of Zorin Blitz, the more hated character of the manga universe, that you, with Seras Victoria as profil picture, and my friend Amino, and a Yumiko @iscariot-no-yumi supported me. So, Zorin Blitz was not simply my muse, she was the incarnation of my determination, my strengt, to fight the depression, always incarnated by Alcina Dimitrescu in my head.

It's a strange metaphor, but my depression is as Alcina, she has the power, she can to manipulate the spirit, the body, destroy my life. If i listen to her, if i listens my depression, my demon, i could to die, all forget of my life, listen all this demon says. And there is my determination, it's Zorin, who know that the body and the brain, as internet, don't love her because she comes for to ask to change the life and to fight something of powerful. My brain and my body are infected my the depression and Zorin is a part of my organism who continue to fight the mental sickness even if it's like to try to dethrone the Queen of the web, but this part never to will abandon the war.

Hirano never knew but it's thanks to Zorin, this character who to he hated because she was complicated to draw and important only for the evolution of Seras, and him, that i'm always life today.

Or how the most hated character of the Manga universe can to be the hero of a person and save a life.

(Well, sorry for this long story, but i hope that it's something of positive for you ^^)

Don't be.

I just have trouble reading it with my current mental state - but I will do so later, promise.

[sirthisisa-wendys]

Investigations (Part 3): Ran Haitani x Fem!Reader

synopsis: when things are uncovered, can you handle the truth? Or are you doomed to make a mistake you can't rectify?

wc: 2.1k

tw: violence

masterlist

song recommendation:

Ran's past was a lie.

When you met him at the country club five years ago, your pasts had been explained in hushed tones and excited flurries of memories; sharing photos of the time before he was an executive of the communications company he worked in and the time before you were a journalist.

Ran said he had gone to jail twice, both for crimes he had been an accessory to as a delinquent kid, but that he'd cleaned up his act after and made his way up the corporate ladder. Nothing about gangs or being a Heavenly King in Tenjiku made it past his lips.

You had been honest, too. Your tales included the time you'd accidentally happened upon a massive gang fight, and that's how your investigative journalism skills began to bloom.

Who was fighting?

What were they going to do after?

Where did these gangs come from?

When did this argument start?

Why were they fighting?

How did gangs form in the first place?

Those were all the questions you sought out answers for that night and the next five years after, devoting your time and effort to finding the truth about everything.

"Babe?" You freeze, hands hovering over the keys at the sound of Ran's voice. You don't turn around - you can't even look at him the same these days - but he fixes that by walking over to you and turning you around in your chair. "What are you doing up so late?"

"Just doing some writing." His violet eyes search yours for the truth, but you know he won't be able to find it. Not while you're still trying to unravel his past. Ran kisses your eyelids sweetly, cupping your face in his large palms and littering his love across your face as you try your best to remain still and not confess about your research.

"Come to bed. It's late."

"I've got a few more paragraphs," you explain, motioning to the small print on your screen. "I'll be in bed soon."

But your lie is discovered shortly thereafter. It's five a.m. when Ran returns, seeing you slumped against your desk, arms cushioning your head, laptop screen blank. Instinctively, Ran pulls you out of your seat - making your notebook fall to the ground - grunting softly as he scoops you up into his arms and cradles you against his chest.

You willingly allow your husband to carry you to bed, where your two-year-old is also nestled among the sheets and pillows, thumb tucked into his mouth. And for a moment, Ran appreciates the view, seeing the two people he loved the most - besides his younger brother - laying in the bed he paid for, in the house he built, in the city he owns.

But then he remembers the slight disarray you left your things in at the desk and returns, picking up your pencil and notebook before laying them beside the laptop. Then his eyes catch "Ran's past?" written in bold, red letters, along with the words: "Tenjiku" and "Tandai" also written in the web of other words surrounding his name. "South Terano" is also on that web.

He'd have to take care of that in the morning.

And for the first time in a long time, worry bubbles to the surface of his mind, and Ran rips the sheet of paper from your notebook, tossing it into the kitchen trashcan and considering his deed done. He concealed his past to protect his family. And he's concealing the present to achieve the same goal; all for the future to be revealed later. That's how everything should be.

Right? _____________________________________________________________

"Ran," you whisper, lips running across his knuckles. His fingers cup your jaw, and his own lips press against your forehead, violet eyes darkening slightly. "It's six am. Where are you going this early?"

"I have to go into the office for a little while," he murmurs, kissing your forehead again. "I'll be back around lunchtime." Thoughts of Tandai and Tenjiku flash into your mind for a moment, but you smile at him sleepily anyway, absolutely sure these things are part of his past and not in the present.

"We'll be waiting for you, my love."

Despite all of your best intentions, though, you can't help but be consumed by the idea of Ran out, fighting, stealing, maiming... You consider asking him about these things, these concerns, but you decide against it as you're helping Kai with his lunch. If he wanted to leave it in the past, there's a good reason for it. He would have told you if it would be a problem later. Right?

Ran wouldn't jeopardize your family, your home, your life for something so... juvenile.

Right?

The clatter of keys on the counter in the living room brings you back to the present, and you perk up, your two-year-old mimicking your expression.

"Daddy!" Kai slides down from his seat and runs to greet Ran, clutching his father's legs with all his little might.

"Hey, buddy," Ran laughs, stooping to pick up his son with excitement. "How are you doing?" As son and father have a very stimulating conversation about playtime, you watch them in wonder, observing the way Ran makes his child a priority, just like he makes you a priority. But your countenance falls as soon as you see the blood spot on the bottom of Ran's lavender suit jacket. You know its blood because of the way it dried - that's no ketchup stain.

You fake a smile anyway, giving Ran a kiss on the cheek and tugging his jacket off after he sits Kai back on the tile floor.

"Hard day?"

"Kind of," Ran mumbles, and you catch the sight of a long scratch down the side of his neck. "But I made it through." You hum, taking the pin-striped jacket to the laundry room and slinging it over the side of the washer. You'd need that later.

"Need to relax?" you wonder, and Ran grins at you mischievously.

"Maybe later, after bedtime?"

_____________________________________________________________

But "later" never came.

Instead, Ran and Kai fell asleep on the sofa, watching a kid's movie, and you retreated to the office, powering up your laptop and pulling your notebook closer.

You immediately notice something's wrong, as the notes you had before were missing. Everything is gone. Not even a word of all the research you had done was there. Hadn't you written meticulous notes and names and things about Ran's past that could be interconnected? You break out in a sweat and search in every drawer of the desk, every place it could possibly be. You come up with nothing, and let out a frustrated sigh before slumping down in your seat and pulling up the computer history from yesterday. If you had to rewrite every single thing, that's fine. You'd just need more time to gather your evidence for the meeting on Saturday.

You're knee-deep in articles and police reports when you stumble across a more recent - actually as recent as this morning - article titled: "Ex-gangster found dead in meat factory". The picture of South Terano startles you, and you click on it, feeling a sense of dread as the article details how he was found hanging upside-down in the warehouse with a bullet hole in his head. And just like that, your newest lead has fizzled out. You groan, writing down "South Terano, deceased" on your notepad, then exiting the tab.

There had to be someone else you could ask. Shuji Hanma only provided you with Ran and Rindou's names, no one else.

"What's this?"

The door to the office shuts softly, and you look over your shoulder at Ran, who is walking toward you with measured steps, his eyes taking in your exhausted expression and the way you're hunched over that notepad. Again.

"What are you doing? You look tired, babe. Let's go to bed, yeah?"

Suddenly, pieces begin to click as Ran leans his hip against the desk, staring down at you in the chair with squinted violet eyes. "You threw away my notes... Didn't you?"

"What are you doing in my business, y/n?"

"Why didn't you tell me that you were in two gangs?" you counter, fingers shaking slightly. "Ran, this is something I needed to know before--"

"You wouldn't have married me if I told you." Ran's tone is cold, almost as if he's turned into the past version of himself without batting an eye.

"You don't know that." Ran leans forward, coming to eye level with you a smirking.

"I know you. And that's all I need." Ran reaches out a hand to close the laptop, still smiling and maintaining eye contact. "Now here's what you're going to do. First, you're going to stop digging into my past. There's nothing there that you need to find. Second, you're going to come to bed. It's late, you're tired. Finally," Ran cups your chin like he did this morning, except his fingers aren't so tender this time. "You're going to cut off contact with both Shuji Hanma and Taiju Shiba. I'm not really fond of either of them, and I'm not a fan of having them tell my business to my wife."

"They were only doing it because I asked."

"Taiju, maybe. Shuji isn't so eager to fuck you. I doubt he did it out of the kindness of his heart." You can't say anything to refute his claims. Ran is probably right. But you can't get one question out of your mind.

"Why are you trying to hide your past? What's there that I won't like?"

"What isn't there is the real question."

"What can you tell me about the gang that's just surfaced in Tokyo?" Ran's face slackens, transforming into a half-surprised, half-blank look that you realize is one that means he's been caught. "Oh, my fucking god," you breathe, tears stinging your eyes. "South, the fish, the murders, the crime... It's you. It's been you this whole time. I've been chasing my own husband down." Panic begins to set in, and your mind whirls around as you shake in your seat, bringing your hands up to your head. "Just tell me Rindou isn't in this," you breathe, but Ran doesn't answer you, still wearing that dumb look on his face. You let out a cry of shock, covering your mouth and trying to back away from Ran as much as you can.

The source is a lot closer than you think.

You slide down the wall, shocked into stillness as your sobs quiet, and Ran straightens up, placing his hands in his sweatpant pockets. The long nights, the early mornings, the bloodstains, the damn suits... It all led to this. Ran had never really left his old lifestyle behind. He'd gotten caught up in it, and brought you and Kai into it unknowingly.

"I never meant for it to get this... unhinged." You can't reply, tucking your knees into your chest as you stare past Ran and at the opposite wall, wondering how you'd missed the signs, the obvious signs that Ran was up to no good. "I know this is a lot to take in, but we can--"

"I can't stay here."

The words fall from your mouth and Ran flinches, shaking his head.

"No. You can't leave."

"Yes, I can," you mumble, standing and wiping your tears. "I can do whatever I need to do to keep Kai safe, and--"

"Kai is safer here than out there," Ran snaps, pointing at the window. "I'm not letting my son out of my sight. Your snooping has caused enough trouble as it is; I wouldn't have had to go and clean up this morning if you hadn't--"

"Don't blame this on me," you retort, pointing at Ran accusatorially. "You're the one who joined a gang and is still in one! What kind of role model are you for our son now?"

"I provide the best way I can," Ran grits out, clenching his fists. "You've never gone hungry, cold, or ill-clothed a day in your life while you were with me."

"I would rather die than enjoy a life paid for with blood money."

"Blood money? You really think--" You try to push past Ran, but he grabs your shoulders, yanking you back in front of him. "You're not going anywhere except to our bed."

"Let me go, Ran Haitani," you mutter, hands balling up into little fists. "Or I'll scream."

"Who will hear you? Kai?"

How had you been so foolish? Ran's lips press together momentarily as his violet eyes run over your figure, taking stock of all your five-foot-six stature. You're no match for Ran. Not mentally, and certainly not physically. Ran notices your defeat and his hands slide down to your wrists, tugging your delicate hands up to his chest.

"Everything will be fine," he whispers, drawing you close. "I'm taking care of us. Just trust me."

Just trust me.

[bookishofalder]

Moonlight

Poe Dameron X Fem!Reader

Summary: In which losing a fellow pilot has you falling apart, until your best friend can’t take it anymore and feelings come flooding out. 

Warnings: SMUT, this is smut. Soft, fluffy emotions and comforting, brief talk of loss, death, battle, grief, healing. Language, and again, smut. WC-4,951

A/N: Wrote this to make myself feel better after my province announced another emergency lockdown. Big Star Wars fan but I kept things vague as I am no expert. Feedback appreciated ❤️

The nightmare surrounded you, inescapable, your body rigid despite your intense desire to run, flee. The healers had said these would fade over time, but it had been months since you had nearly died in battle against the First Order, and the nightmares still came.

Every damn night you relived the worst day of your life. The day you hadn’t been fast enough.

And then she was gone.

Your oldest friend, taken out by a tie-fighter right in front of you, as you desperately tried to outmaneuver the fucker and save her, your mind screaming at you that you were one of the best pilots in the Resistance, you had to stop them. You just had to.

But you didn’t make it in time.

It didn’t matter that the squadron had blindsided your unit. You were supposed to just be on surveillance, expecting at most a transport ship or the likes to ID and verify passage. When they appeared, it wasn’t even many of them yet they had come out of hyperspace right on top of you, and everything that happened only took minutes.

Six other pilots were out there with you. Four made it back.

“Fuck!” You gasped, shooting up in your bunk as you finally pulled yourself from the nightmare, your body shivering from the cool sweat coating your skin. You leaned over, glancing down at the bunk below-but he wasn’t there.

Poe. 

Your best friend, commander and fellow survivor. He would comfort you if you just asked him, you knew that. You never could seem to find the words though. And you weren’t sure of his current whereabouts because he should have been sleeping...which led you to believe he might have ended up in another room tonight. Good for him, you thought.  

It was just, something about watching your friend die, then almost joining them in whatever was beyond this life, it had woken you up that day. Slapped you right out of everything you knew and laid your cards on the table for you to face. You had to laugh at yourself, at how ridiculous you were, lying day after day that your feelings were platonic. When at night you’d wait until you were alone in the room, Poe off showering or at the Cantina, and you’d slip your fingers into your heat and think only of him, of your Poe. Always cumming within minutes, hard.

Poe and you had grown together in the Resistance. Though he was a few years older, therefore always technically your superior, he never treated you like anything other than his equal. He taught you to fly, to fight, to survive. And maybe if you hadn’t been so entirely focused on impressing him, on making him proud...maybe you’d have seen the way he looked at you. The way he paid complete attention to you. Or the ardent affection behind every friendly touch.  Even the way he would bite his lower lip when, in professional settings, you referred to him by title.

You didn’t notice those things, however. And you’d never be convinced by a friend that he felt anything other than friendly toward you, no, he loved you only as a friend. A man like him, you reasoned, had no business settling down with you when he could have any person he wanted.

And he did, really. You would play wingman for each other all the time, during nights at the cantina. You'd wink at each other from across the room when one of you was making your way out with whoever you deemed worthy. If you both weren’t so stupid, maybe you’d have realized that it was each other you wanted to end the night with, that you each just went along with the other these nights, not wanting to risk such an important friendship and wanting to support one another in getting laid, in having fun.

When you had landed back at base after the surprise attack, two pilots short, you had stumbled out of your x-wing, your eyes leaking thick tears as you desperately searched for his face in the crowd. You’d barely made it down the ladder before he was rushing toward you, sweeping you into his arms and peppering you with sweet kisses and saying everything you needed to hear in those moments. When all you could feel was agony and grief-he knew exactly what to say to keep you off the edge.

That was when you realized how in love with him you were, and it was also when you decided you could never tell him your feelings. Because the idea of losing Poe? It was unbearable; you wouldn’t survive that.

So you locked them back.

Heaving a heavy sigh, you climbed down from your bunk and put on your slippers. It was warm enough on base to not bother with adding layers to your t-shirt and sleep shorts, thankfully. You exited the room, running your fingers through your hair to rid yourself of your bedhead, and pausing to decide where you planned to go.

Turning left, you mindlessly wandered away from your room in search of something to distract yourself.

-

Poe turned off the shower, steam swirling around him as he stepped out into the change room, grabbing his towel and shaking it through his locks before wrapping it around his body. He enjoyed late night showers, the quiet of the communal fresher helped relax him and clear his mind. It was also the ideal place to masturbate, alone in the tinted glass stall, one hand on the wall as the other twisted over his length, urging out the release he needed to help shake the thoughts of you away, to relax.

He had inadvertently gotten into a routine these last few months, showering late most nights and then making his way back to the bunk he shared with you, ready to comfort you when the nightmares took over. He had shifted his entire schedule just to ensure he was always there to roll you over gently in your bunk, a tactic he discovered early on helped to soothe you. He didn’t think you’d even realized what he had been doing, you never woke up, or if you did you had never said anything to Poe about it.

He hated seeing how the surprise attack changed you, your usually bubbly personality dimmed somewhat, your smile always a little slow. Slight shadows under your eyes gave away your restless nights, and he’d even realized recently that you’d lost some weight-it wasn’t much, but he loved your curves, the healthy glow you carried. He’d had to ask Finn and a few other pilots you were close with to keep an eye on you at meals. Try to get you eating without raising your suspicions.

When the First Order appeared in the middle of a routine patrol, Poe had immediately reacted; shouting instructions to the other five pilots and pulling his ship around to avoid oncoming fire.

His mind had briefly wondered if this would be the end. And then he had seen you, chasing after Sira’s ship and trying to stop the tie fighter. His heart had dropped and he sprang into action, not entirely losing his focus on his entire unit, but honing in on you to make sure nothing happened to you.

He took out the tie-fighter too late, had to watch as your friend died, hear your cries for her in the com. You had spun around and fired ceaselessly onto the onslaught, only pulling back when Poe had switched the coms between you to a private channel and using his hardest voice to order you fall back.

Back on base, you had climbed out of your ship with unsteady legs, eyes searching, and he had run toward you and crashed you into his arms. His thoughts consumed by the reality that he’d almost lost you, and he wouldn’t have ever...fuck, he’d have never told you.

He wanted to tell you after that, every day. To admit his feelings, but it never seemed like the right time. After the funerals and debriefings, your nightmares had started and time blurred together into several months. Months of watching you trying to navigate your grief, your pain. He put his needs aside to care for you, to give you whatever you needed.

Telling you he loved you felt too selfish; you were struggling so much already. He couldn’t add another burden.

He padded softly to the room he had shared with you for several years now, the only real place that felt like home anymore. Stepping inside, he quickly pulled on his pyjama bottoms before glancing at your bed to see if you were dreaming yet, or if he could lay down for a while and wait for the telltale whimpers that preceded the worst of them.

Only, your bed was empty.

He stared for a beat at the tangle of sheets, then cast his eyes around the small room. Flicking on a light, he found no note or indication of why you were gone. Your nightmares must have come early tonight, and you’d gotten out of bed. He knew you weren’t in the fresher as he’d just come from there and would have heard another person.

Dropping his towel, he left the room and turned left, knowing exactly where you would have wandered off to so late at night.

He had always been able to predict you, a skill that you despised in him-it brought out your competitive side in training and simulations. And while you were an excellent pilot, you had yet to truly beat him at his own game. While other pilots aspired to be just like you, you were constantly training to be like Poe. It made him proud to watch you work so hard, so stubbornly, never taking a loss too hard before you jumped back in.

Before the surprise attack, you enjoyed competing against one another in everything, always for fun. Some nights at the Cantina, it would be who could go home for the night with the highest-ranking official in attendance. And while Poe felt like he had to work so hard to push his feelings for you back and focus on whoever he was hitting on, he’d always look over at you and feel like you barely had to try. You were just so beautiful, so bright. Any man lucky enough to be charmed by you was a goner-which was why this was often a bet you would win. It seemed to make you laugh when he would hand over the agreed credits the next day, so he never asked to stop.

Now though, you stayed close to Poe if you ventured out, which was rare. Never leaving with anyone and always leaving first. As if you thought he needed you away from him to find someone-but he hadn’t gone home with anyone for a long time now. He didn’t think you knew that, so he’d always leave not long after you, make a point of making a little noise when he entered your shared room, just so you’d know he was there.

Stepping outside, Poe was happy to feel the warmth of the salty air on his bare skin, the moon high in the sky casting a pink glow over the planet, muting the bright stars. He swiftly made his way down a short path around the residential part of the base, a path that led to a small sandy beach where he knew you’d be. You never could resist the ocean, not on any planet that you ventured to that had them.

Sure enough, a few minutes later he was stepping from the trees and spotted you, standing in your sleep clothes, slippers set on a washed-up log and your feet in the water. He watched you silently, not wanting to disturb your quiet moment. You had your arms crossed around your middle, almost as if you were holding yourself together. His heart thrummed in his chest.

When a small sob escaped you and met his ears, Poe moved forward and cleared his throat. “You sleepwalking, kid?” He kept his voice low, tone playfully affectionate as it wrapped around his teasing nickname for you.

You started, “Maker, Poe!” Hissing as you spun around, eyes wide, a hand shooting up to rest over your heart.

Poe grinned, holding his hands up in defence, “Sorry, there’s not really a good way to announce myself in the middle of the night.”

You frowned, though it didn’t meet your eyes. You took careful steps out of the water to move toward him, “Stars, though, you could have made some noise on the pa-oh!”

You gasped when your foot sunk into the sand awkwardly and you fell forward. Immediately, Poe reached out and caught you, lifting you out of the water with ease and stepping back. Setting you on the dry sand in front of him, he gestured at the water, “Were you planning on a midnight swim?”

A brow quirked up as you looked up at him, “I was going to ask you that since you’re the one who's half-naked.” A small smile on your lips had relief sweeping through Poe. He could see the tears on your cheeks still, but he’d managed to make you smile.

He wanted to give a smart reply, only it was late and he had been worried about you, more worried than he’d admit out loud. He glanced down briefly, his arms now at his sides as you stood a few steps apart on the warm beach, “I got back to the room and you were gone, kid.”

You paused, wiping your face after a moment to rub away the tears. You turned away from Poe to gaze out at the water. “I’m still having nightmares.” You admitted, your frown returning.

“I know, honey.”

You glanced back up at him, brows raised in surprise, “That’s not why you’re always up so late, is it? I haven’t been ruining your sleep?” Of course, he thought, of course, you would worry about him. It was so like you. Always putting everything on your shoulders, blaming yourself.

Poe shook his head, “I stay up so I-“ He looked everywhere but at you, trying to find the words, “So I can try and stop the nightmares for you.”

Your mouth opened and closed wordlessly as you stared at him, absorbing his words. Poe shrugged after a moment as if to say it was no big deal. But saying it out loud had Poe realizing that he had gone to great lengths to care for you, which, from the expression on your face, you had realized as well.

“Poe, you already do so much for me, always have,” You stepped closer to him, head back slightly to meet his eyes, “Don’t let me take your sleep-“

“I can’t sleep knowing you’re suffering,” He interrupted, his voice low but firm. He reached out and wrapped his hand around your shoulder, squeezing gently and you froze under his touch. “You’ve been suffering so much since Sira...and I know it’s hard, it’s awful-but watching you be so hard on yourself and closing yourself off from me-I just, I can’t sleep anyway.” It felt kind of good to confess. You needed to know how much he cared.  

Tears had leaked out at his words, falling down your soft cheeks as you attempted to blink them away. A small gasp escaped your lips, and then you launched yourself into his arms, pressing yourself against him and trembling as the heavy sobs broke through. Poe held you, one hand moving slowly over your back as the other slide to your hair, gently holding the back of your head. He let you cry, murmuring soft, sweet nothings as you let out the pain and grief, your hands pressed against his bare chest. He pressed his mouth to the top of your head, his own eyes closing as emotions rippled through him. It hurt him to hear your raw, aching sadness. He wished he could do more, take away the pain, go back in time and change everything that happened.

“Sweet girl, I’m here, sweet girl, pretty girl,” He cooed softly as your sobs began to fade, slowly turning to little hiccups. “Right here, never going anywhere, I promise.”

You pulled back slightly in a sudden movement that caught Poe off guard, his arms tightening around you rather than releasing. Just your head moved back, and you met his eyes with the fiercest gaze he’d ever seen, “I can’t ever lose you, Poe, so you better mean that promise!” Your voice was thick with emotion. You slide your hands up to grab the tops of his shoulders, “Please don’t ever leave me.” It came out as a plea, a soft, desperate plea. His heart was beating wildly in his chest now, as he watched the emotions on your face.

Something had changed. It was different out here in the warm night air, alone and emotional, the walls were slipping away, emboldening Poe.

Poe lowered his head toward you, holding your gaze steady, channelling as much into that look as he could. Your name fell from his lips, “Never. Do you know why?”

It was so intense now, his body pressed to yours, he could feel every curve. You were gripping him as tightly as he held you, suspended momentarily in time as you looked at each other.

Your voice was barely a whisper now, “W-why?” He could see that you already understood. He just needed to say it aloud.

The hand on the back of your head tightened, Poe’s lips coming to yours and stopping just short, where he turned his head only ever so slightly to whisper back, “Because I’m yours, sweet girl-always have been. And you’re mine.” You shivered at his words, and then he moved his head back and pressed his lips to yours.

It was the softest he’d ever kissed anyone, but Poe put everything into it. He wanted you to know everything he struggled to say aloud, to know how long he’d wanted to kiss you just like this, how much he cared for you. Your body had stiffened at first, but then you were melting into him. Hands that had been gripping him now sliding up into his hair and forcing his mouth harder against your own.

Poe groaned, keeping one hand in your hair and bringing the other to hold your face, his tongue swiping across your lips eagerly. When you parted them for him, he took his time licking into your mouth, tasting you completely, teasing.

You whimpered in delight, still trembling as he held you.

You were the first to break the kiss, pressing your forehead to his, both of you panting.“Poe, you mean ev-everything to me,” You gasped out, “I love you, always loved you, so, so in love with yo-“

Your sweet words cut off when they overwhelmed Poe with joy and he kissed you again. After a moment, he slid both of his hands down, stopping at your hips, “Let me show you how much I love you, sweet girl.” His voice was deeper now, and he enjoyed the way your eyes seemed to go round as he accentuated his words by leaning slightly and bringing his hands behind your legs, lifting.

Your arms instinctively hooked around his neck as Poe lifted you, legs circling his back. He kissed you again, but pushed at your shirt, his thumb brushing the soft flesh of your stomach as he held you up with one arm. He wanted you, but he needed to make sure you were ready, that you could handle making this leap with him. He let you lead, for the time. You took the hint and removed your shirt, tossing it to the sand. Poe gasped as he gazed at your chest, bringing his lips to your breasts, licking at them before taking a peak gently into his mouth and swirling his hot tongue over it.

“Poe, stars-fuck,” You moaned, arching your chest just slightly toward his eager mouth, trying not to set your precarious position off centre.

Poe grunted, “Hold on to me, going-gonna take these off.” He held your body against his with one arm and used the other to swipe at your shorts, pushing them down. You complied, holding on to him as he adjusted your legs and ripped the shorts off.

His eyes snapped open-you were on a beach. A fucking beach-there was nowhere to safely lay you down. “Fuck, I want to taste you.” He groaned.

A soft whimper slipped out at his delicious words, “Too far, I need you now, wait-waited so long for this...”

Poe’s decision came easily at your words. He pushed his pyjamas down and stepped out of them, before twisting toward the water and walking into it. His feet came to the bath-like water before you noticed what he was doing, and then another needy little moan escaped at the realization of what you were about to do.

Before he lowered you both into the water, he slipped one hand between your bodies and gently trailed his fingers down, dipping into you slowly. Your entire body jerked in response as Poe groaned in delight at how wet you were, “Sweet girl, fuck, so ready for me already.”

“Always,” You replied, kissing under his jaw as your hips rolled a little, clinging to him, “Always thinking about y-you, Poe. Fuck, every guy was just-was nothing, I closed my eyes and thought of you, and w-wished...”

“Fuck, sweet girl,” He carefully moved his fingers, teasing at your pussy while you whimpered out your filthy confession, driving him wild. He slid two inside of you, eyes nearly rolling back at how hot you were, “F-fuck, you’re mine. You know that, sweet girl? Mine.”

“Yes, yours, always yours!”

He pulled his fingers out and adjusted you in his arms, the water lapping at his lower thighs below. His cock pressed up against your slick heat; however, he wanted to taste you first. He brought those fingers to his mouth and you watched with heavy-lidded eyes as he closed his lips around them, immediately groaning at your perfect, sweet taste.

“You taste fucking amazing,” He growled.

And then he was dropping his hands to your hips and lining your bodies up properly, lifting you slightly to allow you to wiggle against him and help wet his cock with your juices. You threw your head back when he began to push the head in, “No, sweet girl look at me, I wanna see your face-only face I ever pictured.” He demanded, his hands tightening their grip.

He watched you work to tilt your head forward, to meet his eyes as he pushed into you, splitting you open, another growl ripping from his chest at how tight you were. It took a few moments to bottom out as he moved slowly, not wanting to hurt you. When your bodies pressed together the sweetest little whimper escaped your lips, your eyes rolling, “Poe, fuckfuckfuck!”

“I know,” He pulled out slightly and quickly rutted back in, earning another whine, “So tight for me, l-like you were fucking made for me, sweet girl. Perfect little cunt.”  

“Stars, I’m yours, Poe, only ever yours.”

He grunted, thrusting a few more times before sitting down in the water and pulling you down on him hard. You cried out as he used his hands to lift and drop you repeatedly, almost effortlessly thanks to the water now surrounding you to your lower chests. Your breasts hit the water each time he sunk you onto him and the sensation seemed to only add to your pleasure, your hands carding into his curls and gripping to keep yourself steady. Because he was lifting you, he felt you take control of rolling your hips as he slammed you down, earning grunts and curses, your name on his tongue as the pleasure built between you both.

Poe had never had sex like this, where he felt so entirely connected to the other person. He’d never cared so much for another’s pleasure. Because any other person was always a placebo for you, and no matter how beautiful that person was, he would always close his eyes and picture you when he came. He would have to bite his lip to prevent himself from accidentally moaning your name. Now he could moan your name over and over, and he did.

“P-Poe, uh,” You broke off, trying to keep looking at him as he slammed you down particularly hard and a scream ripped from your lips, the pleasure burning. “You’re gonna make, gonna cum, Poe, Poe, Poe!”

He could feel it, the way your walls tightened around him in soft flutters as your pleasure neared its peak, your entire body trembling in his arms. He brought his mouth to yours, licking inside it sloppily before kissing your jaw, his lips near your ear, “Sweet girl, cum for me, cum for me and put my imagination to fucking shame.”

“F-fuck!” You cried out, your hands squeezing, your head falling slightly back as your mouth popped open and a cry reverberated through your entire body, the wave inside you crashing. Poe didn’t stop moving you, watching your beautiful face as you came, hard, on his cock. Your walls fluttering deliciously around him as he lifted you and slammed you down, one hand bracing your mid-back so that you didn’t fall, so that he could keep watching your face twist in ecstasy.

You quickly became a whimpering mess even as you came down from your high, now entirely unable to form a word of basic. Poe felt himself nearing his release, his thrusts only becoming harder the more you whined for him, “Fuck, so beautiful cumming on my cock,” He grunted, and your eyes met his, tears leaking from the corners and he knew, just knew you were already close again. “Gonna fill you up, sweet girl, fuck. Fill you up and make you mine!”

“Oh, ohohohohoh,” You were fully quivering still as his cock swelled and he thrust as hard as he could, his hands slamming you down and absolutely ripping another orgasm from you as he spilled himself inside of you, filling you with his cum. The pleasure coursed through Poe as he watched you come entirely undone, the reality was a million times better than he ever dreamed. You were fucking perfect. Your pussy milked every last bit of his cum and Poe couldn’t stop shouting your name as spurt after spurt burst from him, his arms forcing you down onto him to take him completely.

Many moments later he came down, his cock still twitching slightly inside of you. You had collapsed into him, all energy spent as you crashed from the second orgasm, from the brutal way he’d fucked you full. Poe held you and carefully dropped his legs, grateful there was no heavy current causing waves. The water was fairly still tonight, and therefore he could brace one hand behind him and the other pressed into your back without worrying he’d fall over.

As you both worked to catch your breath, Poe felt you shift. Sensing your needs, he moved his hips back and slipped from inside you, breathing out at the sensation. He already missed you.

“Poe,” You whispered into his neck, your head resting on his shoulder, “So perfect, that was so perfect.” The genuine happiness in your voice made him smile.

He sat forward, settling you into his lap and bringing your lips to his again, this time taking all the time in the world to lazily kiss you, his hands running across every curve and dip and swell of your body. It was more than sexual, now he was exploring you and memorizing every part, memorizing the spots that made your breath pick up and your mouth become more eager. He enjoyed it when you fought to taste him, your tongue eager to pull small groans from him as you slid over his.

After a short while, he pulled back and met your gaze, catching his breath at your blissful, fucked out expression. Your pupils were blown wide, cheeks flushed.

“I love you, sweet girl,” Poe brushed his thumb across your lips. You melted into the touch, sighing in content.

When he swiped again and then began to push his thumb into your mouth, your eyes snapped open in surprise. You instantly closed your lips around him, “Sweet, perfect little girl, you were so good for me.” His gaze was darker now, he knew, as he watched your lips wrap around his thumb. He pulled it back out, his cock twitching. “Such an obedient, perfect little slut, aren’t you?”

Your heavy eyes were knowing, “Only for you. Take me back to our room, Poe.” You purred, and Poe was lifting you out of the water before you finished, a giggle escaping your lips.

Once ashore, he quickly helped you throw on your clothes, nearly tripping as he pulled his pyjama bottoms on in his haste. He saw then that you were shaky on your legs, so he swept you up bridal style and started back inside, grinning down at you as you continued to giggle excitedly.

“Walls are soundproof in there,” He murmured, and you abruptly stopped laughing, your eyes widening in a mix of anticipation and trepidation. “I’m going to spend the rest of the night tasting you.” His grin increasing at the way you gulped, eyes bright, and nodded your head.

“Not getting any sleep tonight, are we, Commander?”

“No, sweet girl, we aren’t.”

Did you enjoy this story? Consider leaving a comment or reblogging to ease my inner turmoil as a writer. Thank you 🤍

[ixalit]

Do you have any queer book recs? Fiction, nonfiction, poetry... I’ll take anything really 😅

I do!

I’ll put my queer fiction/fantasy, nonfiction, and poetry recs below the cut. 

Fiction/Fantasy

Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe by Benjamin Alire Sáenz

One of my all-time favorite books. Ever. Seriously, I’ve read it so many times I could probably quote parts back to you. It reads like poetry with a beautiful story and happy ending. It’s about two teenage boys in El Paso, Texas who become friends and eventually more. The author himself is also gay. 

There’s also a sequel, Aristotle and Dante Dive into the Waters of the World, coming later in 2021

Carry On by Rainbow Rowell

I think one of the reasons I like this book (and series) is because it reads like fanfiction. That’s probably because it... kind of is! It’s a similar universe to Harry Potter, with a magical boarding school and a “chosen one” who needs to defeat an antagonist. But there’s also a lot more narrators, funny snark, and gay makeouts.

This is part of a series. Wayward Son is the second book, and the third book, Any Way the Wind Blows, is coming in July 2021. 

Captive Prince by C.S. Pacat

Again, I think one of the reasons I love this series so much is because it reads like fanfiction. And that’s probably because it was originally posted on LiveJournal!

It’s official summary is: “Damen is the true heir to the throne, but when his half brother seizes power, Damen is captured, stripped of his identity and sent to serve the Prince of a rival nation as a pleasure slave.” But IMO it’s so much more than this. This series is fascinating and intriguing and I couldn’t put it down. 

Warnings for a shitton of unresolved sexual tension and several explicit scenes, including noncon. 

This is part of a trilogy. Here is the second book, The Prince’s Gambit, and the third is Kings Rising.

On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous by Ocean Vuong 

This book is a letter from a son in his late 20s to a mother who can’t read. It’s beautifully written and heartbreaking and a wonderfully brutal look at race, class, masculinity, and family.

Ocean Vuong is also a poet, and it definitely shows in his writing in the best way. 

Nonfiction

When Brooklyn Was Queer by Hugh Ryan

I bought this as a Stucky fan to help my own fic writing, but came to love it for so many other reasons too. It’s an amazingly researched look into the queer history of Brooklyn, New York spanning the 1850s through the late 1900s. It’s full of just as many funny stories as heartbreaking ones, and was riveting the whole way through (as well as giving me a much-needed education for my writing). 

This Book Is Gay and What’s The T? by Juno Dawson

I got these books when I was starting to exploring my gender and sexuality. They’re very informative and easy to read, and were a wonderful resource for my parents to learn about the lgbt+ community after I came out. Since then, I’ve used them in my sex-ed classes and recommended them to many queer teen and parent groups I’ve been asked to speak at. 

To give you a taste, some of the chapters in This Book Is Gay are “Where to Meet People Like You”, “The Ins and Outs of Gay Sex”, and “Stereotypes Are Poo.” The author herself is also trans. 

Poetry

Crush and War of The Foxes by Richard Siken ( @richardsiken-poet )

If you are gay, on tumblr, or in fandom, there’s probably a 99% chance you’ve heard of or read something by Richard Siken. Both of these books are full of impactful words and beautiful (and sometimes horrible but still beautiful) imagery. I have yet to find any other poet that comes close to his unique brand of poetry. 

Please, The Tradition, and The New Testament by Jericho Brown

Please focuses on love and violence, and has become one of my favorite books of poetry. 

The Tradition deals with how we’ve become accustomed to fear and terror in all aspects of life - bedroom, classroom, workplace, the movie theater... His poems discuss everything from mass shootings, rape, police brutality, and homophobia, and it’s a beautiful book. 

The New Testament is more about examining race, masculinity, and sexuality in the context of religion. It’s a wonderful look at life, death, rituals, good and bad, shame, and culture. 

The Anchorage and Voluntary Servitude by Mark Wunderlich

The Anchorage is a beautiful collection of poems that all seem to relate to each other in a web of repeated details and voice. It’s split into four sections and takes you on a journey when you read it altogether. 

Voluntary Servitude is largely about love, sex, betrayal, family, and heartbreak. It’s full of strong imagery and beautiful words. I would put this, Crush by Richard Siken, and Please by Jericho Brown into the same category. I absolutely love them all. 

Collected Poems by Thom Gunn

This is a big book of most of Thom Gunn’s poetry and includes his books Fighting Terms, My Sad Captains, Jack Straw’s Castle, Touch, The Man With Night Sweats, and more. It covers many subjects throughout his life and career including HIV/AIDS. He’s heavy on and more formal with meter than some other poets, so if you like that, give it a try!

Night Sky with Exit Wounds by Ocean Vuong

Another from Ocean Vuong! This one is a poetry collection that looks at everything from love, romance, and family to memory, grief, and war. It’s also beautifully gentle, and I’m always left stunned by his words. 

[chorusnihili]

what is wd gasters past

"A rather broad and invasive question, I'd say, but I suppose I can give you the rundown."

"I was born on the surface while tensions were already high, enough that my parents, assuming that I had them, were gone before I had a chance to remember them. I was mostly raised by a mismatch village of monsters; well-cared for, not the only one that didn't have a specific home."

"I didn't miss living on the surface and never wished to return there, quite frankly. The only thing that made it worth living there is that in my final few years there, I did have something close to an adoptive parent. Who, unfortunately, chose death over leaving their home."

"A lot of monsters like to paint the underground as this hellish, soul-sucking fate worth than death. Personally I never found it that bad. I suppose I never was the type to feel wanderlust or anything of the sort. I was happy merely knowing we were safe and humanity likely had no interest in pursuing us."

"So I dedicated most of my life to making the Underground as good a place as possible. Anything that could make life more bearable. Try to cheer up those affected the worst by the change. During this time, a lot of monsters took up psychology; you can find a lot of studies on stress, despair, and trauma written during this time; techniques for coping and helping loved ones, many of which still hold up to this day."

"Unfortunately given the fact that communication has always been a hassle to me, it ultimately wasn't a field of study that suited me well, although I've been told I'm a good listener."

"So my attention broke from such studies to poking around the world about me. Much of the underground was new and needed to be explored and understood, and, what can I say, I was young and ready to believe that magic could do anything. Except, maybe, restore my eyesight. Heh."

"The migration through the underground was relatively linear. The forests of Home, the snowy landscapes of Snowdin, the rainy marsh of Waterfall, the deep caves of Hotland, and finally, the empty caves of New Home. But New Home was the end. The final stop. Assuming a vaguely dome-shaped barrier forming to the shape of the mountain, we had found it on all sides; the entrance at Home, the exit at New Home, the presumably small entries in Waterfall that human trash falls through, the tunnels in Hotland that the lava flows through. We reached the end; there was nowhere else to go."

"Monsters began to fan out, build permanent civilizations. Asgore and Toriel chose to build their castle and kingdom right on the cusp of the barrier; why, I'm not entirely sure. Perhaps it was meaningful, to them. A sign of having conquered the humans, something to put them at ease. I never asked, it never seemed appropriate."

"Although many monsters seemed disappointed that there was nowhere else to go, I found a sense of satisfaction from it. We had discovered everything; there was nothing else that might creep out from the shadows. We had an understanding of the world we now lived in, a map from top to bottom, left to right. And now, all we had to do was reshape it into the world we wanted it to be."

"Much of my early life was uneventful. I spent a lot of time in theoretical research, interested in the topics of how and why magic worked, but specifically, the interaction of two magical forces. Why some attacks seemed to be so devastating and others seemed to do no damage at all.  A spent a fair amount of years analyzing magic, categorizing it, writing formulae for the so called Stats, for LOVE, EXP, HP, ATK, DEF, INV, et cetera, et cetera.  Frankly, the field is incomplete; close enough for most situations, I think, but not perfect.  I found it wasteful to continue efforts on it.  I believe that the main goal of science is to improve life; if the science cannot be applied to do so, then I do not see the point in continuing it.”

“My studies were broad and varied.  Sometimes I’d dip into the health sciences, sometimes I’d dip into architecture.  I’d do odd favors for people, look into anything that caught my interest, sometimes even take up tasks for the King himself; ones of minor interest that he didn’t want to bother the Royal Scientist with.”

“But, the focal point of my studies always came back to energy.  What could we do with it?  How can we harness it?  All monsters are made up of energy, of magic, it’s inherent to our souls, the way we express ourselves, even our body is made of magic, turns into magical dust due to a complicated chemical reaction when HP is depleted.”

“This, of course, lead to my most famous accomplishment.  The idea of using magic to power things had been around forever, before recorded history.  But there was always a mage or monster involved, directly or indirectly powering the thing in question.  I sought to cut out the intentional casting of a spell to induce power.  After all, this entire Underground was full of ambient magic; from previous spells, simply from Monsters existing; recycled, reused, breathed in and out, baked into food and released again:  Why couldn’t the world itself power things?” 

“It turned out to be more complicated than expected; failure after failure taught me that it simply wasn’t feasible to use magic without a soul casting it.  But, we found another way--and to be fair, it wasn’t exactly an idea so much as exploratory research, but research with very promising results.  Promising enough to earn me another scar on my face, heh.  Had one of the other scientists not pulled me out of the way, I might have been destroyed by the CORE before the CORE was even a thing.”

“Nonetheless I was far from discouraged.  I was actually very ecstatic.  Enough so that Asgore had a very hard time calming me down and getting me to explain what had happened and why I had a new crack down my face.”

“I started work on the CORE immediately.  Sketching out blueprints and gathering people to start building the skeletal structure of the building while I put together the intricacies of the mechanism that would create and convert pure energy that could be harnessed and used for whatever purposes we desired.  It took a very long time, but it’s no doubt one of my greatest creations.  Asgore asked me to take up the position of Royal Scientist not long after.  I accepted, of course, I wouldn’t think of declining, but it was a very strange thing to me.”

“It wasn’t long after that when the human child arrived.  I remember hearing about it, one of the other scientists telling me that Asriel had chosen to keep the child.  Keep the child, I had thought, like a pet, like a person would choose to keep a dog or a cat.  I thought it frankly ridiculous, but having the human child around brought a new era of hope to the kingdom and, I, ... couldn’t resist being pulled along.  I personally thought that the idea of peace between humans and monsters was ridiculous, but it was such a pleasant idea and the people were so happy...”

“Of course, it didn’t last.  In a single night, both the human child and Asriel had passed away.  The duo had broken through the barrier, only to seal their own deaths.  It was a travesty.  A whirlwind of horrors, one after another.  The devastation, the despair--it was unlike anything I had ever experienced, even when humanity had first sealed us underground.  At least then, we had the relief of peace.  Now, we had nothing.”

“The King declared war on humanity.”

“It was a dark time.”

“The peaceful life I had was replaced by one of fear and anxiety.  I knew what humans were capable of.  I lived through it, I wore the mark of their hostility on my skull--and Asgore wanted to willingly throw us back into that over revenge?  We wouldn’t survive.  There was no way we’d survive.  But if there was any chance of giving us any sort of fighting chance, I was going to find it.” 

“My research turned from finding ways to make the underground better to combat.  Once again, energy proved to be my friend.  I revisited old research about LOVE and EXP and ATK and DEF--and wrote up a hypothesis about another state.  ITK.  Intent to Kill.  Unlike LOVE and EXP, which are slowly, solely increasing values, ITK rapidly fluctuates and acts as a modifier on attack.  Even a soul with a LOVE of 1 can do an extreme amount of damage if they, in a particular moment, are filled with the desire to kill the one they are striking.”

“Monsters aren’t made for war.  In general, monsters aren’t made for hurting each other.   It’s one of the many reasons we were slaughtered so mercilessly.  So I created a ... weapon.  That could circumvent that weakness.  The ITK Blasters, as I called them, could take even the smallest ITK and multiply it to do horrific damage.”

“I did other research on the topic as well.  How to convert HP into a temporary boost of ATK.  With these two advancements...even a monster as relatively weak as I am could be incredibly strong.”

“I wanted to perfect the techniques before I tried teaching them to anyone.  But, such things never came to pass.  Asgore lost his will to continue seeking war.  He knew that he had only declared war in a fit of rage and to give his people hope.  So rather than continue killing, he wanted to find a different way to bring everyone hope.  He wanted to find a way to break the barrier without anymore bloodshed.  He asked me to research the human souls.”

“...”

“I wanted no parts of it.  We got into a ... rather nasty fight.  I said a lot of things I regret.  I called him a coward for bending to the will of his people instead of doing what was right.  I told him that any attempt to breach the barrier would result in the complete extinction of our species.  I told him that it was his job as king to protect us, not lead us to our death.”

“I was angry and afraid, and I took it out on the wrong monster.”

“It’s about at this point that you really cannot understand my history without a basic understanding of how time flows.  I’ll spare you the lecture of multiple timelines and parallel realities, but at the very least, you must understand that the flow of time is... well, it is inherently linear, but, consider it like a... I want to say a Turing Machine.  Or perhaps, a VHS Tape.  The same segments can be replayed again and again, can be overwritten, can change from iteration to iteration.”

“So the fact that Asgore died in this timeline...and is still alive in the current timeline...it may at first seem contradictory, but it is not, I assure you.”

“Asgore’s death hit the Underground hard.  Undyne took over as Queen, but the knowledge that the last remaining member of the Royal Family was gone still loomed over everyone’s heads.  Undyne was more determined than Asgore ever was to free the monsters and I felt like there was nothing I could do.”

“So...There was little I did.  I was overwhelmed with grief and hatred.  I kept at the research.  I honed the abilities, again and again and again.  I drove myself to exhaustion, I isolated myself.  I barely slept and ate.  I neglected my duties and while the others understood I was grieving, it eventually got to the point that Queen Undyne delivered the ultimatum that I had to either get my act together or surrender my position as Royal Scientist.  I resigned without any argument.”

“Much of the time is a blur.  Most of my studies and research done with poor practices and hardly documented.  The research that lead to me creating Sans falls into this. I wished to know if...  

“Of course, two monsters can create another soul.  This much is obvious, monsters reproduce on a regular basis, enough that in the modern day, there’s an ongoing population crisis for monsters that need certain environments.  But I wanted to know if ... a monster, could theoretically, singularly donate a portion of their soul and create another living monster out of it.”

“This is probably a piece of research that very much fits the criteria of not stopping to think whether or not I should try to do so.”

“It required extracting part of my soul.  Which, to do so without killing the monster, requires a massive power source...luckily, or unluckily, I had the entire CORE at my disposal.  So I constructed a machine that could, indeed, extract part of my soul.  What resulted was the most painful experience of my life and left me comatose for six months.  It’s also the cause of the circular scars in my palms.”

“I hadn’t intended to extract two pieces of my soul, but, it happened, whether through oversight or simply as a matter of how the procedure was carried out.  I used the smaller piece to create Sans; intending to keep the larger piece for further study.  I destroyed everything used in the experiment afterwards.  I felt it was something that no monster should have the power to do.”

“That’s not to say I regret creating them.  I don’t, and nothing will ever change that opinion, even knowing some of the terrible things they’ve done in other timelines.  But I do regret the methods that lead to their creation.”

“I don’t know why Sans is so weak.  And I resisted the urge to try to figure it out.  There’s a fine line between a healthy interest in your child’s health and treating them as a science experiment, and I ... wanted to stay as far away as possible from that line.  He’s fine the way he is.  He doesn’t need to be fixed.”

“That didn’t stop me from using the second piece of my soul to create Papyrus to look after him, though.  Or teaching him magic to the best of my ability, even teaching him how to use the Gaster Blasters.”

“Having them...helped.  A lot.  I won’t say whether I was very good at it, but I enjoyed being a father very much.  The grief was still heavy, but I was able to start returning to a somewhat normal life, and even start following what was going on in the Underground again.  I learned of Doctor Alphys’s research on the human souls, and though I personally disagreed with it... decided to look into it in Asgore’s honor.”

“My immediate thought was that her ideas about Determination could mesh well with my previous research about soul extraction, albeit with a few modifications--although I had destroyed the equipment I used for the process, I remembered it well enough.  So I got to work on a theoretical DT Extractor; but the further I got with it, the more horrified I became.”

“I simply couldn’t tolerate the idea of it.  Humans or not, already dead or not--the mere idea of extracting the literal lifeforce out of a soul...  No.  It was not a process I would condone.”

“I had just finalized my decision to destroy the blueprints when I fell.”

“It was... a laughably simple mistake, really.  The CORE is designed to rearrange itself to prevent the wear from the heat from causing too much damage in any one area.  The doors pneumatically seal themselves to prevent egress during this time but...  I was simply too distracted by the blueprints and I opened the door, and walked through anyways.”

“There were no further safeguards.  There was nothing I could do to save myself.  It was over before I had a chance.”

“...”

“I don’t regularly talk about my time in the void.  Not because doing so bothers me, but because it’s simply... indescribable.  When I awoke, I couldn’t breathe.  I couldn’t move.  I couldn’t speak.  There was no me, but my consciousness existed.  I could see and hear thousands of timelines at once, as if I was standing in an arena, with each and every seat filled with a television playing a different movie.  A jumbling mess of information.”

“I have no idea how long I was there for.  It was like learning to exist all over again.  Step by step.  Learning how to move closer to visions of interest.  Learning how to seep into those visions.  Learning how to block out the immense noise.  Learning how to speak without a body.  Learning how to see the void.  Learning how to construct a body out of it.  Learning how to hunt down my timeline.”

“In many ways, it was a rebirth, and with each and every step, I lost more of myself.  I lost myself to the aching hole of my soul being missing.  I lost my conscience, I lost my heart.  I dedicated everything to the endless goal of stitching myself back together again.”

“I learned so much about the reality I live in.  How malleable it and time is.  I evolved into something grotesque, something that shouldn’t be alive.  I gained power that no monster or human should have.  Things, and even souls, could be changed at my whim.  And yet the one thing I truly wanted seemed to be impossible.”

“I did a lot of terrible things while I was stuck like that.  Some were intentional, some less so.  Many were reset thanks to Flowey, others will never be fixed.”

“I have Sans to thank for finally helping me to achieve the goal, even if not fully.  He built a machine that gathered enough of my soul that... I’m able to manifest my original form and can think clearly once again.”

“Even so...  It didn’t change the fact that my soul is still shattered, somehow held together by the tug-of-war between Determination and Void, and that my fall into the Void reset the timeline into a state where I never existed.”

“And that leads us to now.  The Gaster you currently speak to exists in a timeline that has made it to the surface, though I’m not particularly fond of being up there and generally hide in my lab in the CORE.”

“Well, I certainly hope you didn’t expect even a rundown of over a thousand years to be short.”

“...Or, were you posing the question to someone other than myself...?”

[thesteadydietofeverything]

Top 10 Games of 2019

This was an extremely good year for games. I don’t know if I played as many that will stick with me as I did last year, but the ones on the bottom half of this list in particular constitute some of my favorite games of the decade, and probably all-time. If I’ve got a gaming-related resolution for next year, it’s to put my playtime into supporting even smaller indie devs. My absolute favorite experiences in games this year came from seemingly out of nowhere games from teams I’ve previously never heard of before. That said, there are some big games coming up in spring I doubt I’ll be able to keep myself away from. Some quick notes/shoutouts before I get started:

-The game I put maybe the most time into this year was Final Fantasy XIV: A Realm Reborn. I finally made the plunge into neverending FF MMO content, and I’m as happy as I am overwhelmed. This was a big year for the game, between the release of the Shadowbringers expansion and the Nier: Automata raid, and it very well may have made it onto my list if I had managed to actually get to any of it. At the time of this writing, though, I’ve only just finished 2015’s Heavensward, so I’ve got...a long way to go. 

-One quick shoutout to the Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney Trilogy that came out on Switch this year, a remaster of some DS classics I never played. An absolutely delightful visual novel series that I fell in love with throughout this year.

-I originally included a couple games currently in early access that I’ve enjoyed immensely. I removed them not because of arbitrary rules about what technically “came out” this year, but just to make room for some other games I liked, out of the assumption that I’ll still love these games in their 1.0 formats when they’re released next year to include them on my 2020 list. So shoutout to Hades, probably the best rogue-like/lite/whatever I’ve ever played, and Spin Rhythm XD, which reignited my love for rhythm games.

-Disco Elysium isn’t on this list, because I’ve played about an hour of it and haven’t yet been hooked by it. But I’ve heard enough about it to be convinced that it is 1000% a game for me and something I need to get to immediately. They shouted out Marx and Engels at the Game Awards! They look so cool! I want to be their friend! And hopefully, a few weeks from now, I’ll desperately want to redact this list to squeeze this game somewhere in here.

Alright, he’s the actual list:

10. Amid Evil

The 90’s FPS renaissance continues! As opposed to last year’s Dusk, a game I adored, this one takes its cues less from Quake and more from Heretic/Hexen, placing a greater emphasis on melee combat and magic-fuelled projectiles than more traditional weapons. Also, rather than that game’s intentionally ugly aesthetic, this one opts for graphics that at times feel lush, detailed, and pretty, while still probably mostly fitting the description of lo-fi. In fact, they just added RTX to the game, something I’m extremely curious to check out. This game continued to fuel my excitement about the possibilities of embracing out-of-style gameplay mechanics to discover new and fresh possibilities from a genre I’ve never been able to stop yearning for more of.

9. Ape Out

If this were a “coolest games” list, Ape Out would win it, easily. It’s a simple game whose mechanics don’t particularly evolve throughout the course of its handful of hours, but it leaves a hell of an impression with its minimalist cut-out graphics, stylish title cards, and percussive soundtrack. Smashing guards into each other and walls and causing them to shoot each other in a mad-dash for the exit is a fun as hell take on Hotline Miami-esque top down hyper violence, even if it’s a thin enough concept that it starts to feel a bit old before the end of the game.

8. Fire Emblem: Three Houses

I had a lot of problems with this game, probably most stemming from just how damn long it is - I still haven’t finished my first, and likely only, playthrough. This length seems to have motivated the developers to make battles more simple and easy, and to be fair, I would get frustrated if I were getting stuck on individual battles if I couldn’t stop thinking about how much longer I have to go, but as it is, I’ve just found them to be mostly boring. This is particularly problematic for a game that seems to require you to play through it at least...three times to really get the full picture? I couldn’t help but admire everything this game got right, though, and that mostly comes down to building a massive cast of extremely well realized and likable characters whose complex relationships with each other and with the structures they pledge loyalty to fuels harrowing drama once the plot really sets into motion. There’s a reason no other game inspired such a deluge of memes and fan fiction and art into my Twitter feed this year. It’s an impressive feat to convince every player they’ve unquestionably picked the right house and defend their problem children till the bitter end. After the success of this game, I’d love to see what this team can do next with a narrower focus and a bigger budget.

7. Resident Evil 2

It’s been a long time since I played the original Resident Evil 2, but I still consider it to be one of my favorite games of all time. I was highly skeptical of this remake at first, holding my stubborn ground that changing the fixed camera to a RE4-style behind the back perspective would turn this game more into an action game and less of a survival horror game where feeling a lack of control is part of the experience. I was pleasantly surprised to find how much they were able to modernize this game while maintaining its original feel and atmosphere. The fumbly, drifting aim-down sights effectively sell the feeling of being a rookie scared out of your wits. Being chased by Mr. X is wildly anxiety-inducing. But even more surprisingly, perhaps the greatest upgrade this game received was its map, which does you the generous service of actually marking down automatically where puzzles and items are, which rooms you’ve yet to enter, which ones you’ve searched entirely, and which ones still have more to discover. Arguably, this disrupts the feeling of being lost in a labyrinthine space that the original inspired, but in practice, it’s a remarkably satisfying and addicting video game system to engage with.

6. Judgment

No big surprise here - Ryu ga Gotoku put out another Yakuza-style game set in Kamurocho, and once again, it’s sitting somewhere on my top 10. This time, they finally put Kazuma Kiryu’s story to bed and focused on a new protagonist, down on his luck lawyer-turned-detective Takayuki Yagami. The new direction doesn’t always pay off - the added mechanics of following and chasing suspects gets a bit tedious. The game makes up for it, though, by absolutely nailing a fun, engrossing J-Drama of a plot entirely divorced from the Yakuza lore. The narrative takes several head-spinning turns through its several dozen hours, and they all feel earned, with a fresh sense of focus. The side stories in this one do even more to make you feel connected to the community of Kamurocho by befriending people from across the neighborhood. I’d love to see this team take even bigger swings in the future - and from what I’ve seen from Yakuza 7, that seems exactly like what they’re doing - but even if this game shares maybe a bit too much DNA with its predecessors, it’s hard to complain when the writing and acting are this enjoyable.

5. Control

Control feels like the kind of game that almost never gets made anymore. It’s a AAA game that isn’t connected to any larger franchises and doesn’t demand your attention for longer than a dozen hours. It doesn’t shoehorn needless RPG or MMO mechanics into its third-person action game formula to hold your attention. It introduces a wildly clever idea, tells a concise story with it, and then its over. And there’s something so refreshing about all of that. The setting of The Oldest House has a lot to do with it. I think it stands toe-to-toe with Rapture or Black Mesa as an instantly iconic game world. Its aesthetic blend of paranormal horror and banal government bureaucracy gripped my inner X-Files fan instantly, and kept him satisfied not only with its central characters and mystery but with a generous bounty of redacted documents full of worldbuilding both spine-tingling and hilarious. More will undoubtedly come from this game, in the form of DLC and possibly even more, with the way it ties itself into other Remedy universes, and as much as I expect I will love it, the refreshing experience this base game offered me likely can’t be beat.

4. Anodyne 2

I awaited Sean Han Tani and Marina Kittaka’s new game more anxiously than almost any game that came out this year, despite never having played the first one, exclusively on my love for last year’s singular All Our Asias and the promise that this game would greatly expand on that one’s Saturn/PS1-esque early 3D graphics and personal, heartfelt storytelling. Not only was I not disappointed, I was regularly pleasantly surprised by the depth of narrative and themes the game navigates. This game takes the ‘legendary hero’ tropes of a Zelda game and flips them to tell a story about the importance of community and taking care of loved ones over duty to governments or organizations. The dungeons that similarly reflect a Link to the Past-era Zelda game reduce the maps to bite-sized, funny, clever designs that ask you to internalize unique mechanics that result in affecting conclusions. Plus, it’s gorgeously idiosyncratic in its blend of 3D and 2D environments and its pretty but off-kilter score. It’s hard to believe something this full and well realized came from two people. 

3. Eliza

Eliza is a work of dystopian fiction so closely resembling the state of the world in 2019 it’s hard to even want to call it sci-fi. As a proxy for the Eliza app, you speak the words of an AI therapist that offers meager, generic suggestions as a catch-all for desperate people facing any number of the nightmares of our time. The first session you get is a man reckoning with the state the world is in - we’ve only got a few more years left to save ourselves from impending climate crisis, destructive development is rendering cities unlivable for anyone but the super-rich, and the people who hold all the power are just making it all worse. The only thing you offer to him is to use a meditation app and take some medication. It doesn’t take long for you to realize that this whole structure is much less about helping struggling people and more about mining personal data.

There’s much more to this story than the grim state of mental health under late capitalism, though. It’s revealed that Evelyn, the character you play as, has a much closer history with Eliza than initially evident. Throughout the game, she’ll reacquaint herself with old coworkers, including her two former bosses who have recently split and run different companies over their differing frightening visions for the future. The game offers a biting critique of the kind of tech company optimism that brings rich, eccentric men to believe they can solve the world’s problems within the hyper-capitalist structure they’ve thrived under, and how quickly this mindset gives way to techno-fascism. There’s also Evelyn’s former team member, Nora, who has quit the tech world in favor of being a DJ “activist,” and her current lead Rae, a compassionate person who genuinely believes in the power of Eliza to better people’s lives. The writing does an excellent job of justifying everyone’s points of view and highlighting the limits of their ideology without simplifying their sense of morality.

Why this game works so well isn’t just its willingness to stare in the face of uncomfortably relevant subject matter, but its ultimately empathetic message. It offers no simple solutions to the world’s problems, but also avoids falling into utter despair. Instead, it places measured but inspiring faith in the power of making small, meaningful impacts on the people around you, and simply trying to put some good into your world. It’s a game both terrifying and comforting in its frank conclusions.

2. Death Stranding

For a game as willfully dumb as this one often is - that, for example, insists on giving all of its characters with self-explanatory names long monologues about how they got that name - Death Stranding was one of the most thought provoking games I’ve played in a while. Outside of its indulgent, awkwardly paced narrative, the game offers plenty of reflection on the impact the internet has had on our lives. As Sam Porter Bridges, you’re hiking across a post-apocalyptic America, reconnecting isolated cities by delivering supplies, building infrastructure, and, probably most importantly, connecting them to the Chiral Network, an internet of sorts constructed of supernatural material of nebulous origin. Through this structure, the game offers surprisingly insightful commentary about the necessity for communication, cooperation, and genuine love and care within a community.

The lonely world you’re tasked to explore, and the way you’re given blips of encouragement within the solitude through the structures and “likes” you give and receive through the game’s asynchronous multiplayer system, offers some striking parallels for those of us particularly “online” people who feel simultaneous desperation for human contact and aversion to social pressures. I’ve heard the themes of this game described as “incoherent” due to the way it seems to view the internet both as a powerful tool to connect people and a means by which people become isolated and alienated, but are both of these statements not completely true to reality? The game simplifies some of its conclusions - Kojima seems particularly ignorant of America’s deep structural inequities and abuses that lead to a culture of isolation and alienation. And yet, the questions it asks are provocative enough that they compelled me to keep thinking about them far longer than the answers it offers.

Beyond the surprisingly rich thematic content, this game is mostly just a joy to play. Death Stranding builds kinetic drama out of the typically rote parts of games. Moving from point A to point B has become an increasingly tedious chore in the majority of AAA open world games, but this is a game built almost entirely out of moving from point A to point B, and it makes it thrilling. The simple act of walking down a hill while trying to balance a heavy load on your back and avoiding rocks and other obstacles fulfills the promise of the term ‘walking simulator’ in a far more interesting way than most games given that descriptor. The game consistently doles out new ways to navigate terrain, which peaked for me about two thirds of the way through the game when, after spending hours setting up a network of zip lines, a delivery offered me the opportunity to utilize the entire thing in a wildly satisfying journey from one end of the map to another. It was the gaming moment of the year.

1. Outer Wilds

The first time the sun exploded in my Outer Wilds playthrough, I was probably about to die anyway. I had fallen through a black hole, and had yet to figure out how to recover from that, so I was drifting listlessly through space with diminishing oxygen as the synths started to pick up and I watched the sun fall in on itself and then expand throughout the solar system as my vision went went. The moment gave me chills, not because I wasn’t already doomed anyway, but because I couldn’t help but think about my neighbors that I had left behind to explore space. I hadn’t known that mere minutes after I left the atmosphere the solar system would be obliterated, but I was at least able to watch as it happened. They probably had no idea what happened. Suddenly their lives and their planet and everything they had known were just...gone. And then I woke up, with the campfire burning in front of me, and everyone looking just as I had left it. And I became obsessed with figuring out how to stop that from happening again. 

What surprised me is that every time the sun exploded, it never failed to produce those chills I felt the first time. This game is masterful in its art, sound, and music design that manages to produce feelings so intense from an aesthetic so quaint. Tracking down fellow explorers by following the sound of their harmonica or acoustic guitar. Exploring space in a rickety vessel held together by wood and tape. Translating logs of conversations of an ancient alien race and finding the subject matter of discussion to be about small interpersonal drama as often as it is revelatory secrets of the universe. All of the potentially twee aspects of the game are balanced out by an innate sense of danger and terror that comes from exploring space and strange worlds alone. At times, the game dips into pure horror, making other aspects of the presentation all the more charming by comparison. And then there’s the clockwork machinations of the 22-minute loop you explore within, rewarding exploration and experimentation with reveals that make you feel like a genius for figuring out the puzzle at the same time that you’re stunned by the divulgence of a new piece of information.

The last few hours of the game contained a couple puzzles so obfuscated that I had to consult a guide, which admittedly lessened the impact of those reveals, but it all led to one of the most equally devastating and satisfying endings I’ve experienced in a video game recently. I really can’t say enough good things about this game. It’s not only my favorite game this year, but easily one of my favorite games of the decade, and really, of all-time, when it comes down to it.

[missmonsters2]

Drive Her Crazy || Part II

PAIRING: Wanda Maximoff x OFC/Reader

Summary: AU. Meet Wanda, the new ‘It’ girl. She’s built her social standing as a social influencer through Instagram and vlogging on Youtube. Queen Bee in her social circle, she’s got everyone wrapped around her finger. She’s perfect, you think. Girls like that require a little finesse, and you’re ready to play the game.

Warnings: Non-healthy relationship, psychological games, smut(?)

Note: Welcome to a Tumblr exclusive! PM me if you would like to be added onto the tag list for updates.

PART I 

PART II of X

Count: 2691

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The sun felt good on your skin. You kind of liked it after living somewhere rainy all the time. You had driven your car to LA and David was able to hook you up with a place to stay since one of his clients was out of town for the next 6 months and didn’t mind having someone there as long as the place wasn’t trashed.

The place was nice and decently sized as you set your equipment down and went back to your car to get your bags.

You had a gig to play at some trust fund kid’s 21st birthday (usually you’d decline these types of requests, but he was paying you enough to buy a liver on the black market), so you needed to drive out to the Palm Desert in two days. 

After you put all your things away, you sat on the bed, pulling out your phone. This was the tricky part. You needed to find an organic way to meet Wanda. You didn’t want to come off as a fan, nor did you want to meet her through work because it would be difficult to discern if she liked you, or if she liked your connections.

You needed to find a way to be in her social circle, without being someone she just networks with.

You were scrolling through her Instagram more in-depth this time, being careful to not like any of the photos.

You discovered that she had a fiancé, some nobody indie singer named Jarvis, but only went by his stage name, Vision (you had to roll your eyes a little at that).

You discovered regular places that she liked to frequent. Book stores, restaurants, bars, beaches, etc.

You tapped your fingers idly at your side. How were you going to bump into her? Her latest Instagram post shared that she had a new partnership with Biologique Recherche and was repping their skincare line, but there wasn’t anything you could really do with that.

You sighed and put your phone away. Closing your eyes, you opted to take a nap, being so tired from the drive.

Maybe you would just have to meet her in a work setting, it would just be harder to move away from just networking friend.

But you weren’t against hard work. 

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By the time you had woken up, it was pretty late. You were a little miffed knowing that it was going to mess with your sleeping schedule, but there wasn’t much that you could do about it now. 

Your stomach growled hungrily, and you got up getting ready to grab a bite to eat since there was no food in the house. You were thinking about heading to that fast food chain that served healthy food bowls. Wanda had posted a photo of it, and you had to admit it looked pretty good.

It was a relatively new chain, so they didn’t have any more than two locations. It was a pretty walkable distance from your place, so you just put on a light cardigan and left.

You were tinkering away on your phone when you walked into the shop, standing in line, not looking up. You shuffled a little as the person in front of you moved up to the counter to put in their order.

“Ah, sorry, hold on. I swear my wallet is in here.” 

The voice makes you look instantly. 

It’s the only voice you’ve been hearing for the past two days.

There she was. Standing in front of you, back turned as she was in yoga pants, a tank top, and a sweater. Probably just coming from a workout. 

You watched as she aggressively looked through her large bag, digging for what you presumed for is a wallet. She sighed disappointedly, letting you know there was no luck in finding the wallet.

This was your organic moment, you thought. It was too good, you were too lucky to get this moment. And you weren’t going to waste it.

Just as she was about to tell the cashier to cancel the order, you stepped up.

“Hey,” you softly greeted, surprising her to look over. You grinned lightly, trying to look a little sheepish and non-threatening. “I couldn’t help but overhear you can’t find your wallet. Happens to me too. If you’re okay with it, you can put your order with mine.”

Wanda eyes you for a moment but then smiles. “Yeah, if you’re okay with that. I can pay you back.”

You chuckle, waving her off and stepping up closer to the cashier to put in your order. “It’s no problem. It’s an $8 bowl, you’re hardly breaking my bank.”

She laughs, bringing you to smile a wider. You pay for the order, and the cashier tells you to grab a seat, and they’ll bring it out to you. 

Wanda turns to you. “Thanks again for that, I swear I brought my wallet with me. Since you don’t want me to pay you back, did you want to eat together? I mean, if you’re not busy and all.”

Your inner voice can’t help but celebrate at how well it’s going, but you put on a happy grin. “Sure.”

You grab a corner table that’s next to the window. Wanda’s hair is in a messy bun before she pulls it out, curls falling over as she pushes her bangs over to one side.

She’s too gorgeous, you think. 

“I’m Wanda,” she introduces herself. 

You introduce yourself back and set your phone facing down on the table. 

“Late night workout?” You ask, eyeing her attire again. She nodded, sipping on her water.

“Yeah, it’s been a crazy hectic day, and I’m trying to be really good about not skipping.” She says with a mischievous smirk making you laugh lightly.

“What about you?” She asks about your day. 

You shake her head, “Nah, I just got in town. I did kind of put some of my things away, but napping kind of put a wrench in getting anything else done and potentially getting any sleep tonight.”

Wanda giggles and you feel like a lovesick puppy trying to get her to laugh again.

The conversation stays polite. You both trade funny stories and anecdotes to get to know each other a little better.

Wanda is trying to not choke on her food as you finish your story.

“No way,” she snorts a little, and you sigh in almost a shameful way.

“Nope, it really happened. I had to scale down her freaking balcony, couldn’t even get my shoes. Guess I was lucky to have my underwear at least.”

Wanda just bursts into a fit of laughter, eyes watering up as she wiped them.

“I can’t believe that happened to you,” she says, still laughing.

You shrug your shoulders, throwing your napkin into your finished bowl. “Me neither. What are the chances of an ex-girlfriend becoming roommates with someone you’re banging?”

Wanda’s laugh has died down, but she grins at you. The night is coming to an end, you’re not really sure how to go from here. You don’t think this warrants asking for her number, and you think she would reject it anyways since she has a fiancé.

You both get up, chatting a little more as you exit. You think you’re about to separate ways, but then you’re both walking in the same direction. You both chuckle, although a little awkwardly.

“Do you live this way?” She asks. You nod.

“Yeah,” you say and then tell her what community you’re living in. Her eyes brighten up happily.

“No way! We live in the same community! Wouldn’t it be crazy if we were neighbors?”

Your eyes widen slightly in surprise. This was insane. This was too coincidental and lucky. You’re starting to get worried you’re going to use up all the luck you have in this lifetime.

You chuckle, almost nervously as you both walk together home. She’s sharing with you about a bookstore she recently went to and loved as it was tiny and unorganized, but every book you pulled out was interesting.

Eventually, you come to her stop. She lived in a nice house as you predicted from getting paid to rep brands. 

“Well, this is my stop. You any further from here?” She says, turning to you. You shake your head. You can’t believe you actually only live a couple blocks from her.

You point down the block and then up the road to where you're staying. “I’m just a couple blocks down and then up that road.”

Wanda’s eyes widened slightly and then her eyebrows furrowed. “Oh, wow, those are the really nice houses. I don’t remember anyone from there put any listings up for sale.”

“Yeah, I’m actually just here for maybe a couple months. I have a friend who knows the owner of a house up there and is letting me stay while they’re in Europe for like, 6 months.”

Wanda nods, understanding more of the situation. With nothing really left to be said, you’re saying goodbye to her, thinking about how you’re going to produce another organic meeting.

At least it would be easier now since you knew where she lived. You could pretend to be on a run and pass by. She said she goes to that new book store on Thursdays, so you could do that.

Just as you’re turning to leave, she calls your name again. You turn back around, wondering if you maybe dropped something. She’s holding her bag strap a little tightly and shifts from one foot to another.

“Did you, um, did you, maybe, want to come inside for a drink?”

You try to make sure you don’t make a surprised face because you think that might put her off and make her backtrack. So, you simply gave her a lopsided smile and nodded. She beamed at you and led you into her house. It’s pretty dark, and you’re wondering where her fiancé is since it’s late.

“Thanks for this, my finacé is out of town visiting a friend, and I hate staying in the house alone.” 

Ah, that explains that. You tell her it’s not a problem. She gets you to sit down on her couch as she turns on a lamp and lights a few candles. Soon the room starts to smell like salted caramel, and you love it. 

Wanda comes back with some wine and hands you a glass as she takes a seat.

“Is this okay? My fiancé hates it when I put on candles, the smell is overwhelming to him.”

You shook your head, taking a sip of the wine. “No, I love the smell. It reminds me of fall.”

“Same!” Wanda grinned.

“So,” Wanda started, swirling around her wine a little. “You haven’t actually moved here then?” 

You shook your head again, leaning back a little more to get comfortable. Wanda is sitting facing towards you, her side leaning against the back of her couch as she has her legs tucked in.

“No, I’m actually just here for work. Though, I suppose if I enjoy it enough, I may decide to move here permanently.”

“What do you do for work?” Wanda asked, eyes piping with curiosity.

“I’m in the music industry,” you say cryptically with a smile. Wanda seemed to take it, though, smiling as her eyes spark.

���Oh! My fiancé, Jarvis, but goes by his stage name, Vision, is also in the music industry. He’s a singer.”

You try to keep your lip from twitching as you ask, “Anything I would’ve heard?”

She pursed her lips, pulling out her phone and loaded SoundCloud on it. 

“Probably not. Vision just likes putting his music out there, he doesn’t really care about making it big.”

Doesn’t care about making it big, or unable to make it big, you wonder.

You hear soft guitar music playing, and you think it’s not bad. Until he sang.

His singing voice itself is pretty good. It’s just his lyrics.

God, you don’t think you’ve written such bad lyrics since you were 13. The song continues to play and you will your face to not cringe. When it finished, you give a smile to Wanda because she’s beaming like she’s so proud.

Your gut clenched because that was so bad and if she’s beaming like that, is she seriously in love with Vision?

“That’s...insane...” you say. 

“I keep telling him to give his demos to agents out there, but he’s not into that. He keeps saying he just likes posting his music and if some hotshot finds him, then it’s meant to be.” Wanda said with a roll of her eyes. 

You chuckled for lack of what to say and then changed the topic. “What do you do for work?”

You already knew, but it would be interesting to see what she would say about it.

“I suppose Vision would say I’m a photographer,” she mused, and you fight the urge to raise your brow. She wasn’t wrong, though, in a way.

“It’s nothing really, I post vlogs and brands pay me to represent their stuff.”

You weren’t really surprised by the humble approach, but you decided to give her what she wanted to hear.

Your eyes widened in surprise, “No way! That’s seriously amazing. So, you’re kind of famous?”

Wanda laughed bashfully, slapping you on your arm a little as she blushed.

“Oh god, no, not like famous, but I’ve got some loyal followers. It’s nothing really, pays good money.”

You take this moment to ask her what her Instagram and Youtube it so you can freely look at it and not worry about accidentally liking anything. You trade social media handles and start chatting again before her phone buzzes multiple times in a row. She gives you an apologetic smile as she checked her phone.

“Oh, man, are you fucking serious?” She groaned, putting her phone back down and throws her head back onto the couch, hand over her eyes.

“Everything okay?” You asked curiously.

Wanda sighed and lifts her head back up, expression dampened by whatever she read. “Yeah, sorry. I have a photoshoot in two days. My friend was supposed to give me a ride since my car is in the shop right now, but she just bailed.”

You watched as she pulled up her phone and scrolled through it, mumbling to see which person might be able to drive her. 

It doesn’t sound promising.

“Where’s your photoshoot?” You ask her. She puts down her phone, looking a little defeated as she looks up at you.

“Palm Desert. Ugh, I think I’m going to have to cab it there.” She winced like she’s thinking about how much it’s going to cost to take a 2-hour taxi ride and you winced too.

You’re going to offer her a ride. It’s a little weird you think since she’s only known you for about 2 hours, but if since the universe keeps giving you these opportunities, you might as well take it.

“I can give you a ride there,” you said, watching her reaction. Her eyes widened, mouth opened a little. 

“What, really? Are you sure?” She asked you, and you’re nearly concerned that Wanda doesn’t seem even slightly worried she’s going to be locked in a car with a person she’s only just met.

You nodded. “Yeah. I actually have to head to Palm Desert for work, so if you don’t mind tagging along, I can give you a lift. What time is your shoot at?”

Wanda looked so grateful as she replied, “It’s at noon.”

You nod, thinking if you have anything to do in the morning, but you don’t.

“Alright, I’ll come get you at 9AM? We can get some breakfast on the way and head out?” You asked, and she nodded her head up and down rapidly, a broad smile on her face.

“Oh my god, you’re a lifesaver! I’m so glad I met you today.” Wanda says, sinking to the couch a little more, drinking her wine leisurely now that her problem was solved.

You tilted your head to the side and smiled.

“Yeah, what a coincidence.”

PART III 

[egosarelife]

Heist Breakdown

So, I dedicated my day to this because as a fan I felt like it was the LEAST I could do given how much effort and love and dedication and creative majesty that Mark and everybody else involved has put into this magnificent project. Click the Read More for my breakdown - First off, let's break down the 31 endings into basic summaries:

1) Ending 1 of 31 - Clever Girl, wherein we die by boulder. Process: Start - Guns Blazin' - Car - Try To Fix - I Don't Trust Strangers.

2) Ending 2 of 31 - Monkey See, Monkey Kill, wherein we are possessed/hypnotised by a cursed monkey artefact causing us to attack the Explorer Mark. Process: Start - Guns Blazin' - Try To Fix - An Adventure Sounds Lovely - Don't Give The Statue.

3) Ending 3 of 31 - A Heavenly Adventure, wherein we travel to monkey heaven an end up with a golden banana and a nice jewel. Process: Start - Guns Blazin' - Car - Try To Fix - An Adventure Sounds Lovely - Give The Statue.

4) Ending 4 of 31 - Friends 4 Unlife, wherein we end up parting from Mark, becoming a zombie, and having a happy undead existence with all our new zombie friends. Process: Start - Guns Blazin - Car - Walk To Base - Tell The Truth.

5) Ending 5 of 31 - The Coward's Way Out, wherein the scientist's (we stan Rosanna Pansino being a badass in this by the way) gun explodes, we become a zombie and kill Mark. Process: Start - Guns Blazin' - Car - Walk To Base - I'm Fine - The Scientist - ABSOLUTELY NOT!!

6) Ending 6 of 31 - The End, wherein the scientist destroys the artefact ruining the timelines and we revert back to before the robbery with Mark with no memory or intention of even doing the robbery. This segment has all the credits and some snippets of behind the scenes/bloopers. Process: Start - Guns Blazin' - Car - Walk To Base - I'm Fine - The Scientist - For The Greater Good.

7) Ending 7 of 31 - What Did You expect?, wherein we reveal to Mark and the soldier that we have been bitten by a zombie, and the soldier shoots us and kills us. Process: Start - Guns Blazin' - Car - Walk To Base - I'm Fine - The Soldier - I'm Hiding Something.

8) Ending 8 of 31 - The Cure, wherein upon eating a 2000 year old tuna sandwich, we our cured of zombification due to the state of the sandwich's mayonnaise and eventually fix the zombie apocalypse and live a good, happy life. Process: Start - Guns Blazin' - Car - Walk To Base - I'm Fine - The Soldier - Ed's Hiding Something - Tuna.

9) Ending 9 of 31 - Friends Of The Dead, wherein upon eating a 2000 year old PB & J sandwich makes us a benign zombie, we exhibit a peaceful trusting aura to both zombies and humans which allows a peaceful community to form for the rest of our existence along with Mark. Process: Start - Guns Blazin' - Car - Walk To Base - I'm Fine - The Soldier - Ed's Hiding Something - PB&J.

10) Ending 10 of 31 - Life Sentence, wherein we elect to spend the rest of our life in prison with our new inmate community, doing anything and everything to stay in prison. Process: Start - Guns Blazin'- Helicopter - Rally Prisoners - Prison Life For Me.

11) Ending 11 of 31 - Dance To The Death, wherein the tattooed inmate Mark literally dances us to death. Process: Start - Guns Blazin'- Helicopter - Rally Prisoners - I Want To Be Free - Thanks But No Thanks

12) Ending 12 of 31 - I Want To Be Free, wherein the tattooed inmate Mark helps us escape from Happy Trails Penitentiary, and we open our stolen artefact to see it contains a skeleton key. Process: Start - Guns Blazin'- Helicopter - Rally Prisoners - I Want To Be Free - Thanks and also Yes Please.

13) Ending 13 of 31 - Shut Up, wherein us and Mark choose NOT to explore our cell for more escape options and chose simply to dig, we retrieve the artefact, open it to reveal a trapped, loud blue fairy who alerts the guards; we end up in an isolated cell but with no other restraints. Process: Start - Guns Blazin' - Helicopter - Charm The Guards - Dig Dig Dig - What's In The Box?

14) Ending 14 of 31 - Be Quiet, wherein after disregarding another possible escape route because we find a skeleton in it, us and Mark dig through our cell, retrieve our artefact, open it to reveal a trapped, loud pink fairy who alerts the guards; we end up in a straightjacket in an isolated cell. Process: Start - Guns Blazin' - Helicopter - Charm The Guards - What's That? - HELL No! - What's In The Box? 

15) Ending 15 of 31 - Time Is On Our Side, wherein us and Mark are facing off Bob who has betrayed us amidst our prison escape, and we open the artefact which ends up taking us back in time before the robbery where we meet Mark in front of the museum and decide to steal anther artefact. Process: Start - Guns Blazin' - Helicopter - Charm The Guards - Dig Dig Dig - Stick To The Plan - Open The Box.

16) Ending 16 of 31 - The Interview, wherein us and Mark are facing off against Wade who has betrayed us amidst our prison escape, and we open the artefact which seemingly starts taking us back in time, showing clips from videos not part of the Heist, before we end up being part of an interview with a very happy, enthusiastic Wilford Warfstache...who Katherine ends up reprimanding him because he almost tries to rid our face of a mosquito by shooting it. Process: Start - Guns Blazin' - Helicopter - Charm The Guards - What's That? Oh HELL No! - Stick To The Plan - Open The Box.

17) Ending 17 of 31 - It Was ME The Whole Time, wherein us and Mark are facing off Bob who has betrayed us amidst our prison escape, and we shoot Bob, who turns out to be Wade, and then the real Bob shoots Mark, and we're also apparently Wade. Process: Start - Guns Blazin' - Helicopter - Charm The Guards - Dig Dig Dig - Stick To The Plan - Shoot Bob.

18) Ending 18 of 31 -It Was MY Joke, wherein us and Mark are facing off Wade who has betrayed us amidst our prison escape, and we shoot Wade, who turns out to be Bob, and then the real Wade shoots Mark, and we're also apparently Bob. Process: Start - Guns Blazin' - Helicopter - Charm The Guards - What's That? - Oh HELL No! - Stick To The Plan - Shoot Wade.

19) Ending 19 of 31 - The Enigma of Happy Trails Penitentiary, wherein us and Mark find a secret exit out of our cell with a skeleton in it; we hear voices that indicate people can sense us coming through but we never see them or what's at the end of the exit. Process: Start - Guns Blazin' - Helicopter - Charm The Guards - What's That? - Seems Safe.

20) Ending 20 of 31 - I Believe I Can Fly, wherein we're picked up by pirates who fire us out of a cannon when we say we know everything about the map that's discovered in the artefact. Process: Start - All Sneaky Like - Light Tunnel - Wait For Rescue - I Know Everything.

21) Ending 21 of 31 - In The Soulstone, wherein a pirate captain sacrifices us to a chasm because he jumped to the conclusion that that's what he needed to do to get his treasure. Process: Start - All Sneaky Like - Light Tunnel - Wait For Rescue - I Know Nothing - Island Of Golden Treasure.

22) Ending 22 of 31 - A Pirate's Life For Me, wherein after finding treasure with the pirate captain we become his first mate and spend a happy life of the seas with him and our new crew community. Process: Start - All Sneaky Like - Light Tunnel - Wait For Rescue - I Know Nothing - Island Of Treasured Gold.

23) Ending 23 of 31 - Not Again..., wherein us and Mark are abducted by aliens and have our memories wiped because they wrongly assume we want to return the artefact which contains all the secrets of the universe, thus keeping humanity ignorant to it all. Process: Start - All Sneaky Like - Light Tunnel - Row Home - Build A Sign.

24) Ending 24 of 31 - IMMA FIRIN' MAH LAZARRR!, wherein we use the artefact to bring down a laser that destroys us, Mark, and feral caveman Matpat. Process: Start - All Sneaky Like - Light Tunnel - Row Home - Find Shelter - Enter The Cave - You First.

25) Ending 25 of 31 - Don't Judge A Book By Its Human Skin Cover, wherein us and Mark live happily with feral caveman Matpat never questioning how or where he gets all the food he manages to provide. Process: Start - All Sneaky Like - Light Tunnel - Row Home - Find Shelter - Enter The Cave - Me First.

26) Ending 26 of 31 - Fresh Meat, wherein us and Mark attempt to run away from feral caveman Matpat, but we end up jumping into the sea and being eaten by a shark. Process: Start - All Sneaky Like - Light Tunnel - Row Home - Find Shelter - RUN AWAY!

27) Ending 27 of 31 - When Will You Learn?, wherein after splitting up at the first opportunity, Mark gets eaten by a crocodile. Process: Start - All Sneaky Like - Dark Tunnel - Split Up.

28) Ending 28 of 31 - Are You Serious?, wherein after splitting up at the second opportunity, both Mark and us get eaten by a giant worm...thing. Process: Start - All Sneaky Like - Dark Tunnel - Don't Split Up - Split Up (At the red and black corridors).

29) Ending 29 of 31 - One Last Split Up, wherein after separating from the handcuffs, Mark falls to his death and causes an explosion to explode us out into a field of flowers with a path; it's serene with the light noise of sirens on the background. Process: Start - Sneaky Like - Dark Tunnel - Don't Split Up - Don't Split Up (At the red and black corridors) - Don't Split Up - Split Up (From the handcuffs).

30) Ending 30 of 31 - Once More, With Feeling, wherein us and Mark use the time travel device in the artefact to avoid death and end up back at the museum, where Mark leaves us and is done with the whole venture. Process: Start - All Sneaky Like - Dark Tunnel - Don't Split Up - Don't Split Up (At the red and black corridors) - Don't Split Up - Don't Split Up (From the handcuffs).

31) Ending 31 of 31 - Ignorance Is Bliss, wherein we encounter Darkiplier in a white suit talking cryptically, potentially about the Actor, as well as alluding to clues that he has hidden throughout the Heist. Process: Start - All Sneaky Like - Dark Tunnel - Don't Split Up - Don't Split Up (At the red and black corridors) - Split Up.

.....whEW THAT WAS A LOT JEEZ MARK DO YOU NOT SLEEP?!?!?!

Anyway, so now with that broken down with can sort of split them up into how any good and bad endings we have. In terms of ''bad'' I count about 18 which result in either our death, Mark's death, Mark leaving, or memory wiping. In terms of ''good'' endings I count about 8 wherein we either become part of a new community, travel back in time or get treasure. There are a few obscure ones though:

Ending 6 of 31 - The End - This is nice outside of the story's perspective since it contains the series' credits, and some BTS and blooper content, but within the story our memories of the Heist scheme are completely gone. It's an ambiguous ending.

Ending 10 of 31 - Life Sentence - We have a new, apparently happy and loving community in the prison, but it's very clear that to keep that life you have to keep committing crime after crime after crime, including murder, so it's rather mixed.

Ending 19 of 31 - The Enigma of Happy Trails Penitentiary - It seems that we're on the verge of escape, but then we literally have no clue what the outcome is, whether it's good or bad, which presents a mystery of its own. 

Ending 25 of 31 - Don't Judge A Book By Its Human Skin Cover - We seem to have a happy life with feral caveman Matpat who provides us with gorgeous food...but where does he get it from? Does he have a human farm in his cavey basement? We may never know.

Ending 31 of 31 - Ignorance Is Bliss - This is one that is clearly out of the linear of the whole thing. Part of me feels that Darkiplier is very much on OUR side, and implying that the Actor is the manipulator of the story we're a part of and that we can't get out of it. Dark seems to want to break in and give us something tangible amidst the storyline of the Heist and so says he's going to seed in messages for us to find - My primary theory on this is that he'd either influenced some of the messages that come at the end of each video, or the little messages in the descriptions of the videos.

HOWEVER

AND HERE'S THE BIG THINGAMAJIG

IF we believe Dark and IF he's alluding to SOMEONE having an enjoyable influence over the way Heist is told....WHO is it? We need to think about whether it's the Actor Asshole Mark we're familiar with that is the manipulator, or is OUR Mark the manipulator? We also need to ask ourselves if our Mark and Actor Mark are two different entities in the fiction, or if Actor suddenly got good at acting and has been pretending to be our nice ''Markiplier' this whole time.

So many questions. When it comes to the video messages themselves though, clearly not al of them are relevant. Here are a few that could be significant though (this is only my personal interpretation, others may be able to read more into the other video messages):

Clever Girl, What Did You Expect?, Time Is On Our Side, It was ME The Whole Time, Not Again..., When Will You Learn, Are You Serious? One More Split Up, Once More, With Feeling and Ignorance Is Bliss.

Clever Girl interests me, because what does it refer to? Does it refer to the boulder? Or are we the viewer, being gendered? Or, is it a homage of respect to Celine in Dark who maybe the Actor realises is intelligent because he knows Dark is infiltrating the Heist? I know that's a long shot, but because that phrase doesn't allude to anything in the video, it very clearly stands out.

With What Did You Expect?, it is a very direct address to the viewer. It may not have much more depth than that but it is a clear indication that there is an outside observer who KNEW the outcome of that part of the story before we did. Only the creator can know that.

Time Is On Our Side is a similarly interesting one because of how it can really bring a link between the timeline issues, fluctuations, and manipulations during the multiple stories in Heist...and the timeline issues across the ENTIRE storyboard that is all these series that Mark has created. ADWM, Markiplier TV, WKM, DAMIEN, now this. That is the order in which they've been presented to us, but the timeline of the stories does not follow that order. We know time is broken, take this story, every individual will have gone through different paths in different orders in different times, a linear timeline doesn't exist here.

What's also intriguing is that time is on someone's side. Who's side? ''Our'' implies a plural, a team, which the Actor is not since as far as we know he's an individual. So maybe the ''Our'' is from Dark to us, saying that we have a common enemy and as long as we keep together and keep perspective and understand the timeline and the LACK of linear time....then it keeps it more in our favour rather than the Actor's.

It was ME The Whole Time is very interesting...because we, the viewer, had a mask on and we were changed into either Bob or Wade in whichever version of the video it was; this title seems more significant. It was ME. Who is me? It's not us the viewer because we've had no control over the creation of the narrative, or is it simply a message saying that there are masks upon masks upon masks on everyone? Is it the Actor? Is it Dark? Is it another? This one is more difficult to interpret.

When it comes to Not Again..., we come back to the timeline of everything. This refers to being abducted by aliens, which we know occurred in ADWM and if Heist is set after, then this makes linear sense and also infers that this is the same Mark from that series coming into this one. However...at ending 6 of 31, The End, before the credits roll...Mark inquires about going on a date with us, which begs the question of whether he's referring to a follow up different date, or whether the timeline is more messed up than we thought.

Now, with When Will You Learn, Are You Serious? One More Split Up and Once More, With Feeling, they are interconnected because they all referencing the series of videos wherein you split up with Mark, of which there are many. Clearly these messages come from someone with an opinion and feeling about our decisions...but the last message particularly brings this all together. It is a phrase that's more like an idiom by this point, because we immediately associate it with actors or acting coaches. Does this mean that the Actor is attempting to coach us as a character of his so that we get his desired story exactly right? That's what it very much looks like, and maybe that's why there are an almost comedic amount of opportunities to split, the Actor was trying to force bad decisions onto us so he could have an excuse to interfere with us an our thinking.

Then there's the big one: Ignorance Is Bliss. This is wholly Dark, and in a way it's him telling us that in fact ignorance is NOT bliss and that we have to be very hyper aware of everything that's going on amidst all of this. Not only does he use a line from one of the video descriptions (from the ''I Know Nothing'' video), but he changes the context of the line. That ''I Know Nothing'' video very much promotes a lack of knowledge as the very best outcome, but Dark contradicts this, and it could be argued that this is Dark directly delivering a counter-attack against the Actor.

Now, titles aside, then there are video descriptions to delve into. I'm not delving into them all or going in gargantuan detail, but I'm going to group a few together and just say what I feel they could be alluding too. Again, these are just more theories and thoughts.

First, description comments that allude to there being an omniscient observer/creator to Heist that ISN'T the viewer or Darkiplier:

Wow...that was WAY sadder than I thought it'd be (Handcuff Split Up vid), I would like to point out for the record that that man is NOT an engineer (Try To Fix video), Aw...but it could have been FUN! Oh wait no...no it couldn't have (Don't Split Up video first occasion), I feel like I've seen this somewhere before... (Split Up video first occasion), Now I'm DEFINATELY sure I've seen this somewhere before!

All of these in some manner allude to there being someone watching who must have been involved in the story creation, because they seemingly are familiar with aspects of the plot before they happen, and even when the first instance of something is happening in the linear story...somehow, they are familiar with it. Also...Mark is referenced as a DIFFERENT person. It's not our Mark whose perspective this is from.

Then, we have some that allude to us the viewer quite personally:

This might be the biggest lapse in judgement I've ever seen from you. And that's saying something! (Dark Tunnel video), Wow...that's uncharacteristically noble of you! (For The Greater Good video), Oh so NOW you decide to be noble! (I'm Hiding Something video), Wow! That's so noble of you! For the record, I would NOT have done the same... (Tell The Truth video).

The speaker is talking like they know us, REALLY know us, and that makes me wonder exactly what or who we are in Heist. Give what happened in WKM, what state are we as the viewer currently in? Do we have a new body? Are we somebody new? Our name is never given so there is that continuation, but the fact that this entity (Actor or Dark, or both) knows us begs the question of our identity at this point in the timeline.

Then, there are some that are just plain suspicious:

Knowledge is power (I Know Everything video), Ignorance is bliss (I Know Nothing video), Never second guess yourself! Even in the face of OVERHWELMING evidence! (Me First video), Hurray! But I can't help feel like we're forgetting something... (Thanks And Also Yes Please video), Never a bad idea to stick to the back up plan (Stick To The Plan video pre-Bob), Always best to have a couple extra back-up plans to the back-up plan (Stick To The Plan video pre-Wade), I'm beginning to think this guy's somewhat of a masochist, eh? (Don't Split up video, at the red and black corridors)

Differentiating Mark from this omniscient narrator, talk or knowledge, ignorance, plans upon plans, second-guessing yourself and evidence...it's all alluding to conspiracy and secrecy which is definitely underlying in this whole story arc, whatever it is. Either way, it's magnificent. The story, feral Matpat, badass Rosanna Pansino, Tyler, Ethan, Amy, Katherine, FRIGGIN @markiplier FRIGGIN EVERYONE WHO WORKED ON THIS it's just...it's so amazing.

Also....we stan Wilford Warfstache's new rainbow suspenders. And that is all, remember that these are just fun ideas inspire by this beautiful project...now I need a nap :D

[carreraleigh]

The New Girl

Pairing: Raleigh (M) x Hannah (MC)

Words: +3.0K

Rating: G (General)

Summary: Raleigh and MC in chapter 2 (Raleigh's POV)

A/N: Well, this is my first fanfiction of Raleigh and MC! I'm so in love with this new character aka Raleigh so expect to see more fanfics soon! 💗

Tags: @vienroose @nazariortega @queenkaneko @drethanramsey @isabella-choices @lilyofchoices @adricnraines @sinclairemckenzie @attuneless

I'm going to create a special tag list for the fics of this couple, so if you want to continue or be added please tell me!

I'm not a native english speaker so I apologize for advanced errors.

——

Raleigh wanted to be anywhere, except for that place. He had been there since early in the morning, seeing how during the course of the day the lobby, that had been empty, was now filling up with people faster and faster. He didn't understand why he had gone, it was the audition day and he had nothing to do there, of course, apart from standing up and smiling as if he were having fun. His PR team planned everything, according to them, his presence would be "good" for his image and it would show interest in the program, he cursed the day when the yacht news came to light. He was trapped there, waiting for an audition with more than 8,000 people to start and not a chance to escape it. Well, at least he had his guitar next to him to keep him company.

Boredom was about to take hold of him completely when he saw a girl running into the lobby, followed closely by another black-haired girl. The two stopped very close to him, close enough for him to hear their conversation. The black-haired girl was accusing the other one of spying on her during her presentation, but he knew there was no way she could have gotten in on her own, someone had to have put her in. His theory was quickly confirmed when he heard the girl's voice saying that Avery invited her in. Admitting that was a bad idea, he thought. Now, she  had become a target for anyone who is obsessed enough with joining the competition, and from the girl's behavior, he was sure that was her first audition. The girl with the black hair said a few last words, furious, and walked out in quick steps towards the exit. The other one stood there, thinking out loud.

“Guess I’m not making any friends.”

Oh no, she was so wrong.

“Where I come from, that’s a good thing.”

The girl turned around and looked at him. Wow, she was more beautiful than he thought she would be. He smiled to her.

“If you aren’t making everyone around you jealous, it means you aren’t worth being jealous of. So in my book, it’s a good sign that girl found you so threatening.”

The girl looked at him for a moment, frowning, still saying nothing. Oh, yes, now he was sure, typical girl who was just starting in the music world, with a heart too pure to know how to swim in a sea full of sharks. For a moment he worried that at some point she would start behaving like a crazy fan and would jump up and yell at him to take a picture with him, but she didn't do it, on the contrary, she just stood there, looking at him, there was no way of knowing exactly what was going through her mind that moment. The more she looked at him, the more he realized how beautiful her eyes  were. The girl smiled mischievously and raised an eyebrow.

“Do you find me threatening?” she asked.

It certainly wasn't the answer he expected, she didn't seem like the kind of girl who went on the offensive, but he couldn't say it bothered him, she seemed to have some hope of survival after all.

"Me?" he said almost laughing, looking at her up and down, there was nothing intimidating, not at least not for him, but he knew that under that mask there was a great potential, he could see when someone was exactly like him "Not yet. Maybe I should keep an eye out though.”

The girl smiled for the first time, and Raleigh could swear that it was one of the warmest smiles he had ever seen, she made him smile too. He was more curious than ever, he wanted to know who was the stranger who caught his attention among so many people, and it was the only conversation he had enjoyed since he came to this nightmare, which slowly ceased to look like a punishment with her presence.

"So, what's your name?" he dared to ask.

"I'm Hannah, what's yours?" she replied, he couldn't help but laugh.

"Like Hannah Montana?" he said mockingly, she rolled her eyes.

"I have definitely never heard that joke." she said in a sarcastic tone and looked at him again, as if she was waiting for him to say something else "You didn't answer my question, what's your name?"

Was she serious?

"Very funny." he smiled.

"Very funny. That's a weird name. So are you gonna tell me or not?"

Funny but demanding at the same time. This girl was full of surprises.

"Huh. You really don't know who I am, do you?" he was starting to like this game.

She saw Hannah open her mouth to say something, but was interrupted by voices that were heard all over the lobby.

"OH. MY. GOD. IS THAT RALEIGH CARRERA?"

Several girls approached him quickly, he sighed and grabbed his head in his hands. It was the first time after so many tours and concerts that he had the chance to talk to someone who wouldn't jump at his feet or scream when they saw him, he liked the idea of being able to have a quiet conversation with someone, many times more than wanting, he needed it, it made him feel more connected to the earth. After all, he was just a human like everyone else. Hannah looked at him with a confused face, as if trying to figure out exactly what the girls who were now surrounding him everywhere were referring to. She took a step to the side before the fans surrounded him completely, he followed her footsteps with his eyes, expecting for her to leave, but she didn’t.

"RALEIGH. I LOVE YOU. LOOK! LOOK AT MY ANKLE!"

He put on the best smile his face allowed and looked at the girl's ankle, which had his face embodied in her skin. Raleigh had seen a lot of crazy things that fans did, but he didn't know exactly how to react to the fact that a person has his face tattooed on their ankle.

"Wow. That, uh..." he tried to articulate the words "That sure is a tattoo of my face." he didn't know whether to feel flattered or terrified "Kid, I hope that's temporary."

"NO! IT'S PERMANENT! IT TOOK TWELVE HOURS, AND IT HURT SO BAD!" the girl was still screaming, excited. Before she could say anything, another girl started talking.

"CAN I GET A SELFIE? OR AN AUTOGRAPH? OR-"

As much as he liked spending time with fans,  he thought that wasn't the proper way to approach him. Besides, she still had Hannah in mind, who was still watching the scene without saying a word, and Raleigh was surprised that she hadn't left yet.

"Nah. I'm good.” he said.

"N-no? What do you mean-"

"Means, I'm busy having a conversation with Hannah here..." he fixed his gaze on her and saw how a shy smile formed on her lips "Y'all have a good one."

The fans looked at each other and then began to move towards the exit, clearly disappointed. Hannah approached him again, her face changed to an angry expression, and he knew exactly what she was thinking.

"Whoa, that was harsh!”

A girl who wasn't afraid to say what she thought even though she knew who he was. He liked that.

"Why did you blow them off?" her face fell "They just wanted one picture.”

Raleigh thought well of the next words he was going to say. It was obvious that he had behaved like a total idiot and that she had been uncomfortable with his reaction, but he didn’t regret it.

"Everyone always wants something.”

"Well, you certainly live up to your reputation as a jerk.”

He didn't take it as an offense, he liked it that she told him. He had forgotten the last time someone said something they thought directly to his face. Honesty was a value that hardly existed in that industry, he was tired of people licking his boots and telling him how good he was when he was really behaving like an idiot.

“Oh, so you do know who I am?”

“I’ve heard your songs,” she admitted “and now that I put your face to the name, I know I’ve seen the tabloid covers too.” low blow, he thought  “You’re kind of notorious, Raleigh Carrera.”

Every word that came out of her mouth was like discovering something new about her, perhaps he had judged her too soon. He didn't know what her ability for music was, but the attitude she had was one of the reasons he would choose her if he was on the jury that day. He wondered what it would be like to see her sing on stage, would she be shy and sweet?, would she be dominant and badass?, or would she break under the pressure?, her voice took him out of his thoughts again.

“What’d that magazine call you again? R&B’s timebomb? Puerto Rico’s hottest export?” she was laughing, it was obvious that she was teasing him “I’m used to your hair being longer.”

“My crisis PR team made me get a cut. Going for a more responsible image.” he smiled mischievously “You like it?”

Raleigh knew that he had barely met her, but he couldn't help but feel a certain spark between the two of them, he hadn't spoken so freely to anyone in a long time and it was noticeable that he enjoyed her company because suddenly his head wasn't full of idiotic comments that could make her angry and leave.

“Why did you hire a crisis…” he noticed how she deflected the question “Oh. Right. Didn’t you crash a yacht or something?”

“Or something.” it was obvious that his reputation was something that followed him everywhere “Insurance paid out a couple million in property damage, but it’s all good.” he took one hand to his hair and smiled “I go off with community service. The judge was a fan.”

"Just community service?" she seemed to question her answer "That's so cool." her brow frowned automatically “Every day I read about rich, famous people breaking the law and getting off scot-free.” her eyes had a fire he hadn't seen before “The justice system in this country is broken.”

"You're kidding? It's total bull." he leave aside the jokes for a moment and was honest "Just go to show how fake everyone is.” he wondered if she was that kind of person, and begged with all his strength that she might not be "My team's got me on this PR tour to clean up my image Volunteering, kissing babies, TV appearances- "

“That’s why you’re here?” she interrupted him “You’re one of the mentors?”

“I wouldn’t make much of a mentor.” the truth was that he thought it would be a disaster “But I’m judging for the finals next week.” Raleigh waited her answer with a smile.

"Well..." she began "It's good that you're giving back."

"Sure, but does count if I'm faking it?" he laughed, she shook her head and laughed too, for some reason she felt he could be transparent with her.

“If you act like the best, kindest possible version of yourself… that’s what you’ll become, right?”

“So you’re a singer and a philosopher?”

She chuckled “I think all the best songs have a philosophy behind them, don’t you?”

Raleigh felt like his whole body was pushing him directly towards her. He started noticing every detail of her face, her hair, her gestures, the way she stood up, he tried to read her but couldn't, she was totally unpredictable and that made his head spin trying to figure out what she would say next. It was strange for him, he had not felt that kind of attraction to someone for a long time and found it in the least expected place, now more than ever he wanted her to stay, he knew that if she didn’t get the spot he would never see her again, and at this point she already had his attention too much to let her go.

"Next up… contestant #9276!"

He looked at the number Hannah had on her clothes.

"Sounds like you're up."

"Oh my god!" she began to panic "Just let me get my-"

Hannah began to turn her head around looking for the one thing she lacked for her performance, her guitar. Raleigh followed her movements with his eyes and watched as she quickly approached a seat, where a totally damaged guitar lay.

"I'm guessing a half-strung guitar isn't your gimmick" he said mockingly, but he regretted it as soon as the words came out of his mouth. Looking at her face, it was obvious that she wasn’t planning to play it.

"This is my nightmare." she said, he could see how her eyes began to water.

It was obvious that someone sabotaged her, perhaps the black-haired girl who had previously been arguing with her. A few tears began to fall from her cheek and he felt the urgent need to stop them, he might be an idiot, but she didn't deserve what was happening to her. Her personality captivated him and he was curious to find out if her talent would have the same effect on him. He looked at the guitar he brought with him, it was the first time he felt like he really wanted to do something good without expecting anything in return.

“Come on, Hannah. All you gotta do is ask.”

"Ask what?" she wiped the few tears that had fallen, her expression was now serious, you could say even confused.

"To use mine." he said, grasping the guitar next to him and extending his arms for her to grasp.

Her panicked face returned "This costs more than my life!”

"Cost? No clue about that. Prince gave it to me as a birthday present years ago.”

“Prince gave you this guitar?" Hannah opened her mouth completely, she looked cute when she made those facial expressions "Raleigh, I can't. What if I break it?"

"Nah, you're not gonna break it. It's sturdy. Here. Try.”

He extended the hand holding the guitar towards her again, he could see the doubt in her eyes. After a moment she smiled and took the guitar, and he felt her fingers touching his, the two looked at each other with a smile. Hannah tried the guitar and by the way she grabbed it and played, Raleigh realized she was really good.

“Oh, wow. This sounds phenomenal, and it’s not even plugged in.” her smile vanished again “Still, I couldn’t live with myself if I accidentally wrecked your guitar.”

“Look, just take it.” he said without giving it any importance “Besides, I wouldn’t mind an excuse to run into you again.”

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” she said excitedly “I won’t let you down. Or destroy your guitar.”

“Relax.” he said, feeling as if his cheeks had warmed up a little “Get in there.”

Hannah gave him one last smile and entered the auditorium. He entered through the next door leading to the seats, could see Hannah getting on stage, clearly more nervous than before. Her eyes fell on him as she walked to the center of the stage, and he indicated that everything was fine by raising his thumbs up. He could see how her body relaxed a little more after that gesture. She began to speak in the microphone, but he felt his cell phone vibrating inside his pockets, so he took advantage of that time to check the messages that had come to him all day.

It wasn't long before a soft melody flooded the room. Raleigh raised his head quickly, almost in shock, and saw her behind the microphone. Hannah was smiling confidently as she sang and played the guitar with ease, moving her body back and forth slowly to the rhythm of the song. He felt all his senses were now focused on her, and his heart began to beat a little faster. Her voice was undoubtedly one of the best he had ever heard, the notes were in place and the lights in the auditorium made her look even more beautiful from where he was, almost like an angel signing a song for them. Their eyes met in the middle of the song and he could see the intensity with which she looked at him, as if through the music could say millions of things that couldn’t be said out loud. Raleigh knew that music could arouse all kinds of emotions, but that was the first time he had felt that way, it was as if he could sit and listen to her singing for hours. Everything about her attracted him, she had a unique personality, she was unpredictable, she was not afraid to say what she thought, or to take what she wanted. She was sweet but at the same time demanding, and she had a talent that would embarrass even the greatest musicians who at that moment were outside earning money by singing with auto-tune and repeating the same words a thousand times.

When the song ended, she couldn't stop smiling. He knew one of the mentors was going to choose her, there was no possibility of her being left out after such performance. If it was him, he would have chosen her the moment she started the first sentence of the song without hesitating or thinking twice. And it wasn't just because he was attracted to her, but because really, with all the things he had seen, she had everything she needed to become a star. The inspiration he had found in her was undeniable, and without a doubt he would have written for her a few paragraphs of a song if he had a pencil and a piece of paper at the time. She came down on stage and he followed her behind the curtains. Her smile was big and her eyes were filled with tears of happiness. He approached her with a smile.

"You looked pretty good up there. You just might be the real deal."

"Sure hope so. Thanks for letting me use your guitar.”

He remembered how beautiful that guitar looked on her in stage. There was no way he could get his guitar back without thinking about her every time he looked at it.

"You know what, I think you two belong together. Keep it.”

"You're giving me this guitar? But it was a gift! From Prince!” her eyes opening wildly.

"Yeah, when I was an up-and-comer. And now I'm paying it forward to a new one..." he lied, he had not intended to give her his guitar, at least not until that moment. Also, he liked the idea of her having something to remember him by.

"O- OKay," she said unsure.

"See you later." Raleigh said.

"Yeah," she said with a sweet smile "See you later.”

By the time Raleigh arrived again, he could see Hannah smiling happily next to Avery on  the stage, a sense of pride and relief invading every part of his body. He had not erred in believing in her talent, and he was sure that she was destined for great things. But best of all, from now, the two of them would be able to share more moments together, or at least that was what he expected. After a speech he obviously didn't pay attention to because his eyes were still focused on the new girl who had awakened something in him, he saw everyone leaving the auditorium. He began to move with the people and for a moment found himself back with her, who was still on stage.

"Congrats. Hope you can handle the spotlight." he said with a satisfied smile, and closed the doors behind him.

Raleigh couldn't stop smiling, and if there was one thing he was sure of, it was that she was going to be trouble for him for the rest of the competition.

[snowbellewells]

Face to Face in the Broad Daylight:  Chapter Four

I really can’t apologize enough for the long wait between chapters here.  There all sorts of plausible excuses, but I’ve basically just fallen behind with starting back to school and getting into the teaching routine again. Hopefully, I won’t keep you waiting on this story so long again, and that you will still enjoy what I’ve cooked up this time around...

Also, I still don’t think it quite needs an M rating, but fair warning, Emma and Killian do get up to a bit of mischief on a stakeout...

Thanks again to @branlovestowrite for the gorgeous story banner; I continue to just love it and smile every time I add it to the chapter post.  And to @cssns for inspiring so many wonderful stories and such a fun community outlet. I’m so glad it gave my little werewolf story an outlet and a reason for me to finally get down to business and commit to it the page!

~chapter four: sinister stirrings, signs of life

Gold did not allow his accomplice’s taunt to hang in the air for long; instead, speculation lit his serpentine eyes with cunning curiosity. “And just what is your price, Morgana? What is it that a powerful witch like you cannot simply conjure for yourself with ease?”

“I seek vengeance,” she bit out, tone icy cold with the fierce utterance. “For my father’s life, for my mother’s pain… and what I have lost to that ingrate King… Arthur of Camelot.” She spat the famed appellation, which most spoke in reverence, with a venom that momentarily surprised even the Dark One.

A knowing, secretive smile crept over his sharp face; no other words necessary for him to understand what drove her. He had after all seen the quest for revenge bring many a man and woman to his door, willing to take his wretched deals whatever the cost, and then meet their doom, or at least soul’s ruin. He and the would-have-been Duchess of Cornwall had much in common, and always had. Both believed the world to have slighted them, and both plotting, scheming, grasping every bit of what they felt was their due wherever they could. Perhaps she would grow a bit too desperate, and he could then be certain of the upper hand in their arrangement. He would simply watch and wait to see.

Morgana, on the other hand, was not idle, even as she finally handed the contained hat over to Gold and began to move around his shop with mild interest as he examined the token ravenously. Just as her former mentor sensed her fervent desire and impatience, the seething rage pushing her forward, she could also read his extreme confidence, his discounting of the worthy mind and abilities she had cultivated since the time he had known her well. He thought she would be easy to manipulate; powerful enough to provide the assistance he needed, but not a true threat to his own mastery of the exchange. 

He misjudged both her magical strength - and her loyalty. She had learned that no one could be trusted but herself. Though she was willing to side with him while it proved beneficial, she would not sacrifice her own goal, nor confuse a healthy respect with true devotion. Rumplestiltskin foolishly believed her indebted to him, simply because he had discovered where to summon the hat from Merlin’s safekeeping. That mattered little when she was the one who had retrieved it; she was the one he had needed to complete his task. Their purposes were not truthfully as aligned as he thought, yet she felt no qualms at playing along until it was too late for even the Dark One himself to stop her or ruin her plans. He saw her as a willing and able pawn, and she would let him do so for the time being. As long as he gave her the hat as promised when he was done, and she could increase her power, take it back to Camelot, usurp Arthur, and gain her revenge, she cared little how Gold’s plan worked out.  His power would be the first she would harness for her own devices - his and all the other Dark Ones who had come before - once the time was right.

“That seems only fair,” Rumplestiltskin spoke in his slick, indulgent tones that might fool someone who didn’t know him as well as Morgana did. Though neither fully trusted the other - nor any beyond themselves - the sorceror before her did seem near tittering with subdued malevolent glee. He really was an imp to his core, delighting in the fall of those who took might and control by vicious means, even if that downfall was not of his own making. “King Uther, Arthur’s father, did indeed wrong your family greatly.”

“I know that,” she snapped, eyes burning as they swung to his in sudden anger. “You needn’t recount the injustices! I remember them well.” Her fine, white hands clenched and unclenched, as her deceptively thin shoulders heaved. She was practically seething from every pore.

Unfazed, the Dark One stepped nearer, cradling his precious talisman in one hand as he wagged his forefinger at her teasingly. She wanted to snap the digit at its joint, but instead held her tongue stonily. “Easy there, Dearie,” Gold chided in his infuriating manner of jest. “Flying off the handle like that can lead to dangerous mistakes.”  He winked at her before turning to leave, clearly unconcerned with her alone in his shop to wreck it if the desire took her.

Morgana’s voice rang out quickly, before he could vanish in a puff of his magic, stopping him with the sort of ringing command he couldn’t ignore. “Midnight, a week from now, when the moon is at its fullest… If you wish for my help, you will bring the Sorceror’s Hat to the lakeside when the lunar orbit reaches the zenith. We will perform the ceremony, and then the hat will be mine once it has served its purpose for you. Do we have an accord?”

“Certainly, certainly,” Gold chimed, and though his tone was soft and sibilant, Morgana could hear the eagerness, the urgency for his full freedom and command of his power running beneath. She wasn’t the only one whose need for retribution had them chomping at the bit.

All that remained, she considered saying as the bell tinkled after Rumplestiltskin’s exit, was to see who would allow their quest to be their undoing. Then, without another moment’s hesitation, she vanished from the spot as well in her own column of cobalt blue smoke.

~~***~~***~~***~~

Once again nighttime darkness reigned over the quiet streets of Storybrooke. The main street, lined with storefronts, the Sheriff’s station, and the cheerily butter-yellow Town Hall, was so still and calm by 9:30 that one might think the place either deserted or inhabited entirely by senior citizens, Emma thought with a wry shake of her head and exhaled breath as she sat watching the scene before them from her usual work parking space. Apparently, fairy tale characters exiled in the “real world” adhered to a similar early bird schedule.  She was in the more roomy back seat of her Bug, not expecting to see much of anything that would require her to pull out quickly, and needing to sit somewhat turned in the seat to keep her eyes on Gold’s shop, a Thermos of hot chocolate on hand to warm her insides as the night grew more chilled, and Killian cuddled against her side assuringly, something in his lupine makeup keeping him always a few degrees warmer than the average human.

Reading her mild amusement as easily as he seemed to do with all her changes in mood and emotion, Killian leaned in to whisper against her ear, his scruffy whiskers raking deliciously across her cheek and neck. “What is it, Swan? Did I miss something humorous?”

Emma shook her head with a chuckle, swiveling a bit to look at his quirked brow and curious face more clearly. His crystalline, sea-blue eyes twinkled as if he could already anticipate her answer, and in that moment, Emma genuinely wanted nothing more than to kiss him senseless, plant little pecks all over his forehead and cheeks and chin, just for sitting there with her, for always being by her side, and for being her ridiculous, handsome, dependable companion, whatever new surprise or danger came their way. Though she managed to hold back the outburst of affection, she still couldn’t help the frisson of awareness that ran through her veins at his nearness, even while proceeding to answer his simple question. “No, nothing funny really, just thinking how there truly is no night life here. It’s not even ten o’clock, and there’s no one out on the street!”

“Aye,” Killian nodded conversationally in agreement. “You’ve a point there. Any port town in which the Jolly ever docked - regardless of how small or remote - was more lively than our little town currently.”

Both fell silent once more, eyes unavoidably drawn to the entrance of the darkened pawn shop, looking deceptively closed and shuttered,but nevertheless the reason they were sitting on the street in a stakeout and wondering whether or not they should trust the seeming peace of the night around them.  “Exactly,” she smirked at his comment, against her better judgement leaning closer as she did. She could feel that the spark always burning between them, fanned by both recent interrupted assignations, was still simmering hotly, barely banked by more pressing concerns, and knew that the right sort of look or touch might well be all that was needed to set it aflame once more. And yet, she couldn’t find it in herself to resist.

Killian reacted just as she had hoped, his response to her invitation almost immediate, hand balancing him on the seat beside her as he leaned even closer than they had already been seated, his breath warming her forehead as he exhaled and his hook tracing a purposeful path up her jean-clad thigh. “Looking for a bit more excitement, are you Darling?” he questioned devilishly, his lips and tongue pronouncing each sound and syllable of the words in a manner that left tingles racing up and down her spine. 

The intentional progress of his metal appendage swung inward to trace along her pants inseam, ever closer to the goal, and Emma swallowed hard, irrationally embarrassed that he might already feel the heat radiating from her center and how her pulse seemed to be throbbing there noticeably. It was all she could do not to start shedding layers and crawl into his lap. She could only nod eagerly for several tensely heated seconds before finally affirming breathily. “What if I am, Pirate? Are you gonna do something about it?”

Killian’s heavy, dark eyebrows practically danced across his forehead merrily, as if she’d given him a present with her challenge. The tip of his wicked tongue poked from between his full, tempting lips before tracing along the lower one as if he had just glimpsed a meal her wanted to devour. “Oh, you know I will, Emma. Don’t you even doubt it.”

In the next instant, he seemed to pounce, his warm weight pressing her back against the leather upholstery of the Bug’s rear bench seat, as that tongue swept into her mouth to lay claim. The curved edge of his hook found its goal at last, putting delicious cool pressure against her still-clothed heated core and making her moan shamelessly into his mouth in return.

“Oh...Ki - Killian!... Please…. Ummm…” she raised her hips almost unconsciously, bucking toward his questing hook, and the added stimulation of his hand, which had now managed to slip under her shirt, up her side to her heaving chest. Emma forgot all about Gold, the newcomer, and why they were outside in her car at all, between the way his hand and hook were making her feel and his lips suddenly veering from her own to wander along her jaw back to the sensitive spot behind her ear, driving her even more out of her mind. She would swear under oath that she shouldn’t be held responsible when her desperately clutching hands pulled so hard at his shirt in her haste to touch him too and hold onto something to ground herself that she heard the sound of ripping fabric over her own gasp and whimper of need.

Not in the least disturbed by wardrobe damage - he had lost count of how many shirts and pants his wolf had destroyed in transformation ages ago - Killian merely chuckled with indulgent pride at the effect he was clearly having on his usually cool and collected girlfriend. It wasn’t lost on him that Emma rarely allowed herself to let go of control so completely. Splayed before him openly, eyes half-closed in bliss, Emma was offering him the trust and vulnerability few others received from her, and it awed him all the more beyond what her beauty had already accomplished. Not wanting the swell of emotion to derail them, now that they had at last managed to preserve a long enough moment alone, he bent his head back to the task before him. He nearly lost a handful of hair when a few seconds later he caught the lobe of her ear between his teeth and bit down playfully, not expecting the force with which Emma grasped the dark strands between her fingers as she keened breathlessly.

The wicked smile that quirked his lips as he murmured into her neck, “Feeling lively enough now?” was entirely unavoidable, if he did say so himself. For a moment, he allowed his mind to gloat inwardly as her pants seemed to indicate his Swan incapable of speech from his pleasurable ministrations.

Letting down one’s guard around Emma was never wise, however, as he was soon letting out an indecently loud and tormented groan of his own satisfaction. Somehow, while he had been occupied with tracing patterns over her collarbone with teeth and tongue, she had worked a clever hand into his tight jeans and dealt him more than enough taste of his own medicine.

“Ah!  Wh- Swan…” he choked, his own head falling forward to rest on her shoulder as she squeezed and pumped delicately in the limited space she had to work with.  “Mmm, love...easy does it,” he finally managed to grind out after riding the sensation for a minute. “Much more of that and you’ll bring the night to completion before I can finish what I started.”

Reluctantly his bold lass did release him and pull back slightly, one sculpted eyebrow arched in what could only be the beguilingly feminine equivalent of the look he had given her so many times before. “Can’t have that now, can we?” she teased gently, stroking along his stomach muscles, which quivered in response to her touch and practically smirking up at him.

“Certainly not, Love. It would be poor form indeed to leave a lady such as yourself unsatisfied.” He licked his lips salaciously, but meant every word, and the way she threw back her head with a wholehearted guffaw of laughter made him certain she knew it too.

“Well then, Captain,” she purred, pulling him in once more by the charms that hung around his neck. “Let’s see you make good on your word.”

Pressing forward with a deep, almost feral sounding growl, part his own desire and part his wolf within howling to break free, he lay her back unresistingly on the seat beneath them, spread out before him like a delectable banquet feast.

When they surfaced some time later, bare and skin glistening with sweat from their enjoyable activities, they had already missed both clouds of magic and the reappearance outside the shop of their new female nemesis - the reason they had been waiting in the car in the first place. Still, even if they had been less than purposeful, as they rested together, sated and entwined in each other’s arms, neither Emma nor Killian could bring themselves to mind.

~~~**~~~**~~~**~~~

After checking in with Emma and Killian at the station - and gathering a much clearer picture of how his deputy and her beau were progressing as a couple than he had needed or wished to have - making sure they had been alerted about the strange woman he had seen at daybreak, Graham was more than anxious to see his own lady love once more. Firstly, because he longed to be at her side, to see her happy, every second of each day that it was reasonably possible; a truly jarring sensation for a man who had up until that point led a quiet, solitary life and thought himself reasonably satisfied, but a sensation he had warmed to and treasured all the same. And secondly, knowing that she carried their pup - a child conceived of their love for each other - in her womb made the normal protective urges he already struggled to manage at normal levels exponentially stronger. To think that Gold still lurked around town and must wish to win - or coerce or steal - Belle back to himself worried Graham enough on a daily basis, but the attack on Granny and this obviously magical stranger’s appearance had him all the more on edge. No, Belle might argue that she was quite alright and could take care of herself, but he intended to stick quite close by whenever his duties as Sheriff allowed, and he might just speak to David and Snow about seeing if someone could stay nearby, just in case, when he could not. He would simply bear her annoyance and exasperation with his fussing as best he could; it was much better than seeing any harm come to her.

Letting his mind return to that morning, Graham thought back on how, after sighting the cloaked woman by the lake, he had hastened back to his cabin with extra speed, shifting on the porch back into his lanky human form so as to let himself in with ease and check on Belle where he had left her sleeping. The sight of her peaceful in repose beneath the moss-green cotton sheets upon the bed, her auburn hair spread out across the pillow, and the softest little purr of a snore escaping her pretty lips, had made him loathe to wake her.

Shirtless and barefoot, clad only in the grey sweatpants he slipped on for decency once human again, he padded across the smooth hardwood floor simply watching her sleep for a few seconds longer with an adoring smile on his face. He had never seen her look so serene, stunning in her sweet fragility, her petite beauty and kind nature concealing what he knew to be a backbone of strongest steel. Still, however much he hated to rouse her from much-needed rest, she had made him promise to take her with him back into town this morning. She was not content to hide out and wait passively until all was safe. And even if it was only researching information that might help prepare the rest of them for the storm they all knew was coming, or finding any accounts which might might better inform the two of them on the little one they were awaiting, she would not settle for anything less than doing her part, in her library, surrounded and aided by her beloved books.

Perching lightly on the mattress near her hip, Graham reached out a large, calloused hand, with a gentleness he hadn’t even known he possessed (having never known a tender touch until this tiny spitfire of a woman came into his life) lifted a loose strand of hair from her velvet-soft cheek and tucked it behind her ear. As he had known it would, even such a light touch had her stirring, beginning to stretch and slowly wake.

Now that his duties for the day were mostly complete, it eased his soul to once more slip into the cool, enveloping shadows and hushed, welcoming space of the town library. He could feel the taunt hunch of his shoulders relax within seconds of entering his love’s hallowed space, at the sound of Belle’s voice farther within the stacks, directing someone he could not yet see. Perhaps one of their friends had already had the same thoughts he did and undertaken to keep her company.

Venturing on silent feet, long accustomed to moving swiftly and without sound on the forest floors and castle courtyards of their old world, Graham stepped into one of the larger conference rooms toward the back of the library, one appointed with a large study table and numerous chairs for large groups. He leaned against the doorframe there, happy just to watch and enjoy the comfort and relief of once more being in her presence and seeing her in her element.

The Hatter in their world - Jefferson, Graham believed he went by here, was the first other person he saw. He recalled with a wince that this man had also been painfully manipulated by Regina - both in the Enchanted Forest past and their small town present. He knew with the same guilt-ridden certainty that he had realized Belle could have been freed from her imprisonment sooner if he had been quicker to awaken and act, that he had probably passed Jefferson on the steps of the mayoral mansion or in the frigid labyrinths of the Town Hall, but both had been too ashamed at being ensnared or indebted, or in some way under the command of the Evil Queen, to look up and meet the other’s eyes, to see a fellow sufferer or brother-in-arms. If nothing else, he reminded himself pushing off the doorjamb and moving into the well-lit and enlivened conversation humming around him, at least now he was beginning to see just how many friends there truly were here, as well as foes. Good people who could be relied upon and were hoping for the chance to regain their lives, just as much as he and Belle were.

His adorable librarian was chatting happily with both Jefferson’s daughter Grace and Henry, who were all too content with darting back and forth from the stacks for any book Belle could think of to request - all of them trying to keep her seated and off her feet. Coming to her side eagerly, Graham leaned over to kiss her cheek, even as she turned her head upward to greet him with a welcoming grin.

“It’s good to see you,” he whispered in her ear, letting his scruff tickle along her skin slightly, making her giggle and tuck her chin toward her chest.

Still, she caught his hand and squeezed it back affectionately, holding on and pulling it down to rest his palm over her still-flat stomach.

His brow furrowed, confused, even as she beamed at him to wait and be patient. It was much to early for him to be feeling any sort of movement from their little one; Belle wasn’t even showing. He was more than a little puzzled, and a bit concerned if the truth were told, but willing to humor her, and so stilled dutifully, waiting for he knew not what.

Then, abruptly, a definite jolt jarred his large hand from where it rested against Belle’s stomach. Eyes widening almost comically as they darted up to her face, he felt as much as saw Belle suck in an excited breath as she nodded her head in enthusiastic affirmation.

“Wait, but, it can’t be… It’s too soon…” he sputtered. “Are you sure?  Should we take you to Whale?  Are you hurting at all, Darling?”

The flow of words was almost more than she had ever heard her gentle huntsman say at once, but no more than she expected. Still, she tried to implore him in her gaze and the steady pressure on his hand to calm, that she had learned some things about her particular pregnancy and she would fill him in, but she wasn’t in pain, and she wasn’t concerned or frightened - though she had known he would be, for her. Guiding his hand still, she brought it to her lips to gently kiss the back of it, hoping to soothe him. She merely wanted to share this miracle with this precious man, the depth of her joy causing tears to well in her eyes.

They were still for several grounding moments, and when she lifted her gaze to meet Graham’s once more, she saw that same welling of love and astonishment in his eyes as well.

Tagging: @cssns @kmomof4 @jennjenn615 @therooksshiningknight  @hollyethecurious @winterbaby89 @resident-of-storybrooke @teamhook @revanmeetra87 @gingerchangeling @ilovemesomekillianjones @spartanguard @whimsicallyenchantedrose @searchingwardrobes @laschatzi @darkcolinodonorgasm

[today-we-will-survive]

Disney Jin

BTS au one-shot

Jin x Reader Y/N

Fluff

Word Count: 2,919

A/N: This one and Indiana Jimin belong in the same au and are meant to be read in the order they’re posted.

gif made by me

“I'm sorry, I have to cut the line off here,” you say and watch as the many excited expressions of the guests in line staring up at the ferris wheel are replaced with looks of disappointment. “We're closing early tonight for a special event so if you all could make your way toward the exit, we'll be open again at eight o' clock tomorrow morning.” You can't help but feel a bit bad as you watch the line slowly shrink away, parents pulling their saddened children along and irritated teens muttering under their breath.

It's not my fault BTS chose this evening to experience Disneyland and California Adventure for the first time, you think to yourself. 

Who could blame them for wanting the whole place to themselves? You don't even want to imagine the awful things that would happen to the boys if Big Hit allowed the public to be there with them. You shudder at the thought.

It sucks that everyone has to leave but it's definitely better this way. Being a Disneyland/California Adventure cast member has its perks, especially being an ARMY.

You've only been a fan of the K-pop group since hearing last month that they were coming. Heck, before Youtubing their music video for Blood, Sweat & Tears for the first time, you'd never even heard K-pop before. But ever since that fateful night as you sat in your car in the employee parking lot, face lit up by the glow of your phone screen, watching these men that most certainly have to be ethereal beings in disguise, you haven't been able to listen to anything else but their mesmerizing voices and their addictive songs.

Soon after that, you discovered the amazing community of ARMYs on Tumblr and Twitter and have never looked back. You see all of these posts about people fawning over their biases and bias wreckers and whenever you stop and try to choose just one of the boys to love the most, you can't bring yourself to do it. Each of them are special. Each are so talented and adorable and amazing and to pick just one would be the death of you. No. You are an OT7 stan through and through.

“Alright, everyone—” the general supervisor's voice crackles into the earpiece in your ear, “—security will be doing a sweep for the next two hours before our special guests arrive. You're all free to take your lunches and breaks and then please return to your stations half an hour before their arrival so we can do a few run-throughs of each of your rides.”

***

“Alright, cast members, our special guests have entered the park. I'm sure I don't have to tell you all to give them your very best to make this the most memorable experience possible for them.”

Your heart hammers in your chest. BTS are here. In the park. Breathing the same air as you...kind of. But then your shoulders sag and you look longingly at the entrance to Pixar Pier.

With all of the rides in the Disneyland park and other areas of California Adventure, they probably won’t even make it over to your area. Who would want to ride a Mickey Mouse ferris wheel when you have the Incredicoaster and Radiator Springs Racers and Grizzly River Run? Not to mention Space Mountain, Pirates of the Caribbean and all of the other classic rides in the other park.

You let out a heavy sigh as you look up at the ferris wheel, Mickey Mouse's giant face bright and shining like a moon hanging over Pixar Pier. This is going to be a long night.

“Hey, Y/N!” You rip your eyes from the ferris wheel and turn around. One of your fellow cast members, Jada, waves at you from her post in one of the many little shops along the walkway. “Isn't BTS, like, your new obsession?”

Your mouth curls into a shy grin and you shift on your feet. “Yeah,” you say with a chuckle. “You could say that.”

“Why aren't you more excited then?”

“I'm trying not to keep my hopes up. We're pretty much anyone's last stop when they come to the park. I doubt they'll make it this far before my shift is over.”

Jada shrugs. “You never know,” she says then gets back to straightening the display of Inside Out plushies next to her.

***

A few strands of hair have slipped out of your ponytail and are tickling your nose. With an irritated huff, you manage to blow them off your face, then watch as they slowly float back down to reside on your nose again.

It's been over two hours and there still hasn't been any sign of the boys. How long could it possibly take for the seven of them to ride all the rides? It's not like there are any lines or anything.

“Y/N!”

You look up to find Jada standing in front of her store, well, maybe standing is the wrong word. More like, jumping up and down jabbing her arm in the direction of the entrance to the pier like a crazy person. You recognize the excited look on her face and immediately you race up to the walkway, scrambling over and under the rails, cutting the quickest path to the entrance of your ride. By the time you make it up there, you catch just a glimpse of a white t-shirt and a tanned arm before it disappears from view into the entrance of another ride. You run across to Jada, your hands clasping hers tightly as the two of you jump up and down squealing.

“Which one was it?” you ask excitedly, craning your neck in the direction the member disappeared, even though you know you won't be able to see him.

“There were four of them,” she says. “They were kind of far away so I couldn't really tell who was who but I think it was the rappers and the oldest one.”

Your shoulders bunch up by your ears and you squeeze your eyes shut. You can't believe it. This is really happening. BTS are here in Pixar Pier, just on the other side of the lake from you. You let out a sigh and open your eyes again to look at Jada. “Well,” you say, “I only have about forty minutes left of my shift anyway and they probably won't get to this side of the pier by then.”

“You're such a negative Nancy,” Jada scoffs giving your hands another squeeze. “If they come this way, I'll direct them to your ride.”

You smile and throw one more glance across the water before letting go of her hands and making your way back across the path to the entrance of your ride. To pass the time, you weave slowly through the elaborate line leading to the loading area, humming the entirety of BTS’s Love Yourself Answer album in order. You've made it about halfway through Trivia: Seesaw before you hear voices traveling on the warm breeze.

Loud voices.

Non-english speaking voices.

Shoot.

Again, you find yourself scrambling back toward the entrance, stumbling over the last rail just in time to make eye-contact with Mr. Worldwide Handsome himself, Kim Seokjin. The straw from the soda he's holding sits wedged between his lips and when he gives you a warm smile, you see the tip of it trapped between his teeth.

“Hello,” he says with a small wave.

You open your mouth to respond but only manage to let out a pathetic squeal. The three members of the rapline have their backs to you as they make their way slowly into Jada's shop. Your eyes flick to her for just a second and she looks back at you from her post, eyes wide and smile wider.

“Can I ride?” Jin asks pointing up at the big ferris wheel.

At last you find your voice. “Of course!” you crack and immediately you feel your face getting hot.

Jin gives you another grin and a nod before walking past you into the maze of barriers. You clear your throat and take a deep, shaky breath as you try to calm down enough to not act like a crazy person in front of this beautiful man. The last thing he needs is to be harassed by another fan.

He's just a person, Y/N, you tell yourself. A beautiful, perfect person...

“Would you like a stationary carriage or a swinging one?” You ask once the two of you have made it to the loading area. You gesture with your arm to the two choices. One carriage is attached to a track so it swings as it goes around while the other one is attached to the ferris wheel itself.

Jin bites the straw on his cup thoughtfully as he looks between the two cars. Then his eyes trail down to the image on the front of the swinging one. “Wah!” he exclaims. “Lightning McQueen!”

You giggle as he jumps into the carriage with the Cars character on it. Then he looks back at you and your stomach drops.

“What's your name?” he asks, his brown eyes fixed on yours.

“Uh.” You gulp loudly. “Y/N,” you say.

Jin nods and holds out his hand. You take it, your clammy palm sliding against his own soft one. “Nice to meet you, Y/N,” he says giving your hand a small shake. “I'm Jin.”

I know, you want to say. “Nice to meet you,” you say instead. “Uh...please keep your hands, arms, feet and legs in the carriage at all times.” Then you carefully close the carriage door and latch it securely.

Jin gives you a thumbs up before taking another sip of his soda. You push the button on your control panel and the ride lurches into motion. Jin grabs the edge of his seat and looks at you with wide eyes before letting out a laugh. You watch as his car starts making its way up and around.

You still can't believe it. You honestly didn't think when you woke up this morning that you'd actually get to meet one of the members of BTS. You knew they were coming. You've known for a month. But the parks are pretty big, especially in comparison to seven people. Seven perfect people, but people nonetheless.

You keep your eyes glued to his carriage, his yell cutting through the mechanical sounds of the ride as he starts to swing on the track.

“Hey Y/N!” Jin callls when his carriage rushes by.

You're eyes lock on his as he waves at you, the ferris wheel continuing its cycle. He passes you again.

“What noise does toaster make?”

Shell-shocked you just stare, jaw slack, eyes still following him as the ride makes another go round. Once again, he waves his arms to get your attention then cups his hands around his mouth and shouts “Bread!”

What?

The joke runs through your head several times as you try to connect it with the punchline but no matter how hard you try, you can't figure out the pun. Even from where Jin sits at the peak of the ride, his windshield wiper laugh can be heard all the way from the ground. You press the button on your panel to slow the ferris wheel and then watch him still with your dumbstruck expression as his car slows and then comes to a complete stop in front of you.

“That makes no sense,” you finally say as you watch him step carefully out of the cage and roll his shoulders.

His shining eyes are drawn into slits from the amused smile still plastered across his face. “It does in Korean,” he says with a shrug.

You can't help but smile and shake your head. Everything you've heard about him is true. He's an absolute ham.

“Jin-hyung!”

You and the oldest member of BTS turn your attention back up to the boardwalk where RM stands with Suga and J-hope. Ugh, how do they all look so flawless? The leader yells something down to Jin in Korean and Jin turns to give you a smile.

“Nice to meet you, Y/N,” he says, touching your arm gently. “Thank you for the ride.”

“No problem,” you whisper even though he's already weaving his way back up to where his bandmates are waiting for him. “My pleasure,” you add under your breath.

Since the seven boys are the only guests at California Adventure—unless they suddenly decide they want to ride the ferris wheel all night—you're in for an extremely uneventful rest of your shift. With a heavy sigh, you turn and look out across the water toward the Little Mermaid ride. The air is still muggy even though the sun has set and a breeze is rustling the leaves of the expertly shaped trees lining the walkway. You tug at the stiff collar of your polyester uniform before glancing down at the work sanctioned Mickey Mouse watch on your wrist. Only twenty more minutes until eleven o' clock. Twenty minutes until you can make your way back down into the underground grid of tunnels made up of employee parking garages, break rooms, locker rooms and other corridors considered Disney's “backstage” area.

“Hey!”

Your head snaps back around to find Jin standing back at the entrance to the ride up on the boardwalk. You can't help the smile that spreads wide across your face. “Hey!” you yell back.

Jin holds up his wrist and taps his finger against it. “What time?” he calls.

“What? Right now?”

The boy drops his hands and lets out a dramatic sigh as he turns his head first to the left then to the right. “RM!” he yells.

Your eyes dart farther down the walkway to where RM has stopped on his way to the Incredicoaster. “What do you want?” he yells in English.

You giggle at the exchange. It's even harder to contain your laughter as Jin goes on to yell back something in Korean, his voice cracking from the sheer exertion he's putting it through as his words have a lot of ground to cover. His face has turned an amusing shade of pink and you can see a vein bulging in his neck.

At last, you hear a defeated cry before RM comes jogging into view. He stops just in the corner of your eyesight and waves down at you. “Jin-hyung wants to know what time your shift ends!” he yells.

Now your mouth falls open again as you glance between the two members. “Uh, well, the park closes at eleven so in about twenty minutes.”

The leader turns back to the older and relays what you said in Korean before Jin gives you a big smile and says something back to him. With an animated flail of his arms, he points at you, urging RM to translate again. RM rolls his eyes but the smile on his face says he's not actually annoyed.

“He wants to know if you'd like to join him over at Disneyland after you get done.”

You let out a laugh. “What?” you ask. “Seriously?” Then you look back at Jin and he gives you a nod and another smile. “I mean, I look kind of gross right now and I don't really have anything cute to put on—”

“Oh, Y/N,” Jin says with a thumbs up. “You look good! Very beautiful!” Then he presses his palms together. “Please come!”

The butterflies in your stomach have flapped themselves into a whirlwind and you can feel heat blooming in your already warm cheeks. Did Kim Seokjin, Mr. Worldwide Handsome himself, really just call you beautiful? Better yet, did he really just ask you to hang out with him for the rest of the night?

“Please?” he asks again.

You nod vigorously, making sure there's no possible way he could misinterpret the gesture. “Yes, I'd love to!” you say back.

“Yah!” he exclaims throwing his hands in the air in victory. “Okay! Thank you!”

“I'll meet you at the entrance in thirty minutes!”

Jin looks to RM again and the leader quickly tells him what you said.

“Oh! Yes!” Jin says. “See you then!” Then the two boys disappear back down the path again as you stare after them in disbelief.

Your hands fly up to hold either side of your head. “No way,” you whisper to yourself. “No way, no way, no way.”

“Y/N!” You look up again and this time it's Jada standing at the entrance to your ride. “What just happened?” she asks.

You're still standing there, hands on your face, your mouth gaping open. “Kim Seokjin just asked me on a Disney date,” you call back.

Jada squeals, clapping her hands together excitedly as she jumps up and down. “Are you serious right now? Holy crap, he’s cute! Are you okay? Are you freaking out?”

“I think I just died.”

“Y/N!!!!!” she cries as she continues her victory dance.

“I gotta sit down,” you say and slump against the guardrail.

Jada runs down through the line until she reaches you then grabs your shoulders and shakes you as she continues her excited squealing.

“What just happened?” you ask.

“Kim Seokjin of BTS just asked you, Y/N Y/L/N, to hang out with him in Disneyland.”

“So, I wasn't dreaming?”

“I heard the whole thing,” she says.

“Holy crap.”

[nagatsukinura119]

Japan Expo Malaysia Closing Ceremony (28th July 2019)

For the closing ceremony I arrived at the venue 45 minutes earlier than schedule since I wasn’t gonna risk losing my usual spot which I have now dubbed as ‘the lucky spot’. When I arrived, Kousuke Atari was doing his performance. About Kousuke, he is a self-trained musician, and performs in the difficult shima-uta (island-song) style of his hometown. He had a really gentle voice and one can feel calm when listening to him sing, and feel the nostalgia hit. Most of his songs were Japanese, but there was one song that he sang in Chinese, which surprised and impressed me. While his singing was not my cup of tea, but that did not mean I couldn’t appreciate it, and judging from his facial expressions, he was clearly feeling it. Respect to this man. For those who appreciate slow music, this man is the one for them.

After his performance, they showed us the highlights from Day 1 and Day 2, and man did I go all hype when Naachan appeared in the video sequence lmaooo. Aki and Austin then came out and called for all of the artists who had come. The first one was ZIPANG (whose concert I attended on Day 2 for a little while), then Himika Natsume, WIN=W1N (whom I will say had a really cool T-shirt by the way), 0TU1, ToumeinaKankei SampunSanjubyo, Sorgenti (whoooo!), Banzai Japan (yaayyy!), Yoyogi Jyoshi Ongakuin, KiREI (YASSSSSS!!! Okay, I will not hide the fact that I immediately screamed Hanapii’s name, and seriously what luck was bestowed upon me that they stood close to me *seriously this spot really is the lucky spot*), Kiiyama Shouten, *Chocolate Bomb!!, cosmic!! (they stood closest to me ohmygodohmygod *pant pant*). When cosmic!! came out I remember I cheered for them and I think that caught Hanapii’s attention and she spotted me and started waving heartily! She’s just so amazing! I love her so much! After cosmic!! Harupiii came in (whooo!!) and since they needed more space for other artists to stand on stage, KiREI members had to scoot closer to cosmic!! members when Riona was called in. Right when Kousuke was entering the stage, Mianyan saw me and waved at me too! OH GOD! At this point it was really hard to focus elsewhere since the girls were standing so close! Not to mention the cosmic!! boys were also having a blast and started dancing so close to me pahahaha! I tried to film elsewhere but my body seemed like it had its own brain and it was right! Cuz when I focused back on Hanapii, she looked at me again, waving and giving the heart finger as she was leaning forward. Funny yet endearing thing was, Chori-chan next to her followed along and now she saw me too! I loved the fact that when she really realized it was me, she tapped Hanapii’s arm and pointed at me. Oh for goodness’ sake, my heart couldn’t take this much happiness (I’m tearing up as I’m writing this down TvT)!

After all the artists were in, it was time to call the organizers and the important people for photo taking and some speech (I feel bad I didn’t focus on this). Soon after there was a countdown, and five seconds later, the confetti blower started blasting. But here’s the thing I didn’t realize it was there, and I don’t think KiREI members knew either cuz poor Hanapii was startled more since the blast was right in front of her (^w^”). The hype was exhilarating; all the high tension from the artists, the audience and the beat of the blaring music, it was all just so great to be there! Then Hanapii once again turned to me and waved, and I knew I had to use this chance to communicate with her. With just one hand I tried to convey that I was really grateful they came here, and that I was sad that they were about to leave (I used my finger to trail a tear on my cheek lmaoo and she clapped her hands together while nodding). I should mention it was so cute that she kept responding with the same hand gestures that I gave to her. I should also mention that one of cosmic!! members, Tomi started to dance vigorously, and I just couldn’t help but laugh considering our small distance lololol. I kinda wished that I talked to their fangirls to ask more about them ahahah. After a while the artists on stage were called down to the floor, to interact closer with the fans. Sorgenti came first and man Hiroshi’s smile was so wide it was so cute! Trust me when I said my heart was beating so hard even though I wasn’t expecting anything (more like I didn’t want to hope much in order to avoid disappointment lmao). BUT! KiREI members actually came to my side first! HOLY MOTHER OF ALL THAT IS HOLY! As I said before, I CAN’T HANDLE THIS MUCH HAPPINESS!!! Chori-chan was filming with her phone while Hanapii and Mianyan focused on interacting with the fans, and I was so joyful Hanapii took a few seconds to once again look at my camera (gosh I love her!). And Chori-chan had so much fun immortalizing the moment in her Instastory lolol!

Next, *Chocolate Bomb!! came and I’m really a sucker to good-looking people cuz I got enticed by their flawless looks (^v^”). They trotted past me and right behind them was Hiroshi (Sorgenti) and he was walking straight at my way and started passing some tickets (I honestly don’t know what it was) and I thought he was gonna give one to me too but he ended up giving it to the people around me lolol. After going around passing the tickets he came back at my area and looked straight at my camera. I thought he would put some distance between us, but holy crap! He came so close that I was like “Chikai! Chikai! Chikai desu! (Too close! Too close! You’re too close!) But hey, I got lucky to get nice shots of him, yeeeee! From up-close, you could tell that this guy is a chill guy and fun to hang around with. After Hiroshi, the Banzai Japan girls came and I’m glad they did since I really liked their cheery energy. They didn’t really reach me cuz another girl group came in, ToumeinaKankei (for short). They were SERIOUSLY close that I thought in panic, “Girls, girls, too close! Please think about your safety! You don’t know what kind of maniac could be lurking around here!” At least what I respect about these girls were the fact they went to every bit of every corner to reach out all the audience on the floor, making them feel appreciated to be there and for that I was really touched. The girls from Banzai Japan did the same, but with an extra level, in which one of the members crouched in front of two little girls next to me, so there was barely a distance between us and again, I was like “Guuurl, please be careful!” while flutteringly took pictures lolol. Soon after, the cosmic!! members went back on stage and noticed me and started posing for me, SO ADORABLE AND COOL! I need to mention that I STILL HATE MYSELF FOR GETTING BAD QUALITY PICTURES OF THEM (I’ll learn how to use DSLR cameras better after this)!

Okay, by now the artists were slowly climbing back on stage one by one and made their way to the backstage stealthily and I thought that was enough pictures and videos for the night. I couldn’t really see KiREI members since they were being blocked by other artists but I was content with that and I hoped they could get some rest real quick, and wished for their flight to be safe (I didn’t know when their flight was, and I assumed it would be on the next day lolol). So, while at that I was enjoying myself with cosmic!!’s funny antiques and random dances. Just when I thought nothing was gonna surprise me anymore, and I seriously did not expect this because I’m just a regular visitor who happened to really like Hanapii, she totally surprised me by peeking in between Harupiii and Riona, AND THEN STARTED WAVING AND GIVING ME THE FINGER HEART SIGN!!! I swear I’m not making this up, you can actually find this scene in a video on YouTube (I’ll share the gif here). And I don’t care how much I’ve said it, I LOVE HER SO MUCH!!! Right then and there I just, I just cried, like there was no way I couldn’t use my towel right then and there. But before letting the waterfall happen, I responded back to her as much as I could until it was time for them to go. I had to leave the crowd and just took a bit of time to take a breather. I then ran to the backstage to see there was already many people gathering and all the artists had a group photo. Knowing that there was no way I could squeeze my way into the crowd I left the venue. Honestly, I don’t know how to end this report, cuz that’s how it ended. I only remember that I walked to the exit with tears and tried to keep it low.

I will say that, my experiences with KiREI were so much more fun and exciting than my experience with AKB48. I know, to be fair, I spent more time with KiREI and even had direct conversations with them for 3 days straights, in comparison to AKB’s limited one-day visit. If I had to put the satisfaction in numbers, I’d say my experience with AKB48 was 70-80%, while with KiREI it was around 150%, mainly because of the eye contacts with the members during performances and the way they interacted with me during the meet-and-greet sessions. Chori-chan and Mianyan were very very sweet and charming and I wish I interacted with them more. But that’s just how I roll I guess, the first person who charms me will get me first lmaooooo. I will never forget that first and only wink that Hanapii gave to me which had indefinitely fished me towards her and forever turned me into her fan. So, as a KiREI fan, I’m here to spread their name as much as I can, considering they’re not a mainstream idol group, and they deserve more recognition. I know it’s not easy to follow an underground idol group, but it’s not impossible. Especially when they’re going to perform in Mini Tokyo Idol Festival in Bangkok on October. So please follow their Twitter accounts and discover the other 11 members who are attractive and charming in their own ways. Follow them on Twitter, Instagram, watch their Showroom, subscribe to their mail services, go to their live performances, buy their merchandise, but most importantly, show them your support and appreciation and spread their motto “I want to make everything beautiful”.

I’ll make it easy, here are some links for you guys (Their Instastories are LIFE). KiREI: Twitter || Utaten (Mail services) Tanaka Hana: Twitter ||  Instagram Konatsu Mia: Twitter || Instagram  Miyadera Miho: Twitter ||  Instagram

Day 3 report is here!

[jusdisslotus]

Attack on Stainglass #13: Clingy Brighton

http://fav.me/dchvr21

A blush from secondhand embarrassment began to spread, over the bridge of his nose when he saw that Thorn had removed his jean-jacket and his shirt as well, revealing his perfectly-sculpted abs. Thorn hissed lightly, in pain as he touched a hand to the black slime that was oozing from the obvious cut that was just, along the center of his diaphragm. With a sigh, Thorn picked, up his worn-out Bible and began to read from it.

Yeah sure, a pastor such as Thorn who doesn’t look like he works out and is rather wimpy throughout most of the story has “perfectly sculpted abs.” Just sounds like useless, no sense making fan service to me.

“I really don’t want anyone else to know about this but you, Lord…Brighton is already angry with me and if he finds out about this, he’ll just make fun of me and tell me that I deserve it…The others will grow to hate me as well…” Thorn’s eyes began to fill with thick, blackened tears as he struggled, desperately to keep them from spilling, over.

The fact that he’d think Brighton would say such a shitty thing to him proves my point even further on how the 2 aren’t compatible as friends and how it isn’t a believable friendship.

So now Brighton’s trying to hunt down the child to give him a beating or whatever and Monarch asks him what’s up.

“Do you remember how Thorn was coughing, earlier?” Monarch asked.

“Yeah, I remember his stupid, loud, annoyin’ coughin’! What about it?!” Brighton snapped.

“Well, I followed Thorn to see if I could discover the source of his strange coughing-fits and well…I think he may have The Sludge…” Monarch worriedly informed him.

“The Sludge?” Brighton sounded momentarily concerned, even though Melania was currently unable to see the expression on his countenance due to the fact that his back was turned to her.

“Ah, whatever! He prob’ly just has The Sludge ‘cause he knows he screwed up!” Brighton scoffed as he turned to continue on his way, along the corridors.

“But Brighton, Thorn said this disease was serious!” Monarch exclaimed as he quickly sprinted, after Brighton. Melania gently turned her body to watch them leave as that all-too, familiar feeling of anger began to boil within her. She knew why Thorn had contracted The Sludge and she knew for a fact that Brighton had not been the one who was responsible for infecting him with it. Thorn and Brighton have gotten into petty arguments that were much worse than this one before and none of those prior disagreements were serious enough to give Thorn The Sludge. Besides, what friendship never had their petty differences?

“Relax, Q.-er…I mean, M. Thorn’s not entirely an idiot; he knows how to take care of himself. Once he quits bein’ stubborn and makes this all up to me, his little Sludge-problem will go bye-bye…” Brighton reassured.

Omg Thorn was right about what Brighton would say. God, Brighton’s such a petty bitch, his “friend” has this serious disease and all he cares about is Thorn “making it up to him”. Making it up to him?? Thorn doesn’t have to make up shit! It’s not Thorn’s fault that Brighton’s inept at being responsible and has to clean up the messes he made, Brighton’s so clingy and bitchy he’s UNBEARABLE.

The word: ‘Preach,’ was a word that had been unable to make Melania chuckle, beneath her breath for quite, some time but that word was such an ironic word that she could have ever used to describe the non-believing enemy to all.

Non-believing enemy? What’re you trying to get at here? What does being a non-believer have to do with anything?

http://fav.me/dcnfn0v

“The dark deed you’ve requested is done…Soon, all The Churches of the World will be destroyed…” A woman in a masquerade mask explained to Helva, Ian and Lainey. Behind the masked-woman, stood three, other, masked figures who were just as ominous as her.

“I don’t know…Something…just feels wrong about all this…I mean, we just went against everything we ever stood for to destroy someone else…” Helva sighed, beginning to have second thoughts about her actions.

“It’s just this one time…Anything will be worth it to destroy those bigots after what they did to our group…” Ian argued.

“That Church…They were different…They were never bigots…They openly accepted the L.G.B.T. Community with open arms…They never once tried to change any of them but we…we just slandered Thorn for not following the typical, Christian stereotype…” Helva finally began to realize the error of her ways.

“Helva, are you seriously thinking of backing out after they killed all of our friends? Your family members?” Ian reminded.

“You’re right…” Hela reluctantly agreed with Ian as she let out a sigh but she was still unable to shake the guilt she felt about going against someone who agreed with her on a certain topic. She had just contradicted herself by calling Thorn out for allowing gays as well as transgenders to attend his sermons without trying to change their minds at all, for teaching them about how God was a loving Father, Who accepted all of His children, no matter what. However, she proceeded to smother the guilt with the horrific memories of Brighton turning her cousins into nothing more than ashes that scattered away in the wind, before her eyes.

This is why I feel worse for Helva than any of the main protagonists. She has some sort of conscience, she thinks about her actions afterwards and actually feels some sort of guilt. Sure, it’s forced and it’s trying to make the church look good even though Thorn literally can’t help anyone that doesn’t convert and can’t even get anyone mature enough to watch the orphans but it still gives her more layers. And she ends up getting rid of the guilt by thinking about how Brighton murdered all of her friends and family in cold blood. She debates with herself and her thought process is sort of believable.

Aaaand then Melania supposedly vores her or something.

“Look at you…You truly are pathetic…That is why you go around destroying people’s lives…so you can have this entire, fallen planet as a ‘safe-space’ all to yourself…You think you are just so edgy but you are and always will be a pathetic, scared, spoiled, little child…Once I am through with you, The World really will be a safe-space…” Melania taunted Helva before turning her back to her to reveal the head of a Venus Fly-Trap that was protruding from the back of her head.

Melania’s smirk of satisfaction was hidden behind her paper-plate mask whilst she listened to the cries of Helva as her vine-tentacles pulled the struggling-girl into her new, second mouth.

Melania just looks like the villain here. She talks and acts like one in this scene and even gives a smug smirk like Brighton does. Yeah, I’m totally rooting for Maniac number 2 as she eats Helva while she screams and cries out.

“Finally caughtcha, ya little brat!” Bradly was horrified when he looked up to see Brighton standing over him. The blond appeared to be more furious than Bradly had personally ever seen him.

“You won’t come between me and my best-buddy anymore…” Brighton growled before running his index and middle fingers along his ruler.

“And Micheal, The Arch Angel struck him DEAD!” Brighton chanted as each number and line on his ruler began to glow.

“No! No! Please!” Bradly begged, on the verge of tears as Brighton raised his ruler, above his head in preparation to strike.

“Brighton! Stop!” Thorn shouted from across the hall, despite the endless amount of Sludge pouring from every exit-hole on his body. Brighton stopped in his tacks, dropping his ruler at the sight of how sick Thorn looked.

Is Brighton REALLY about strike a child DEAD because he got in the way of him and Thorn hanging out even though it’s Brighton’s fault he’s loose in the church? ARE WE SUPPOSED TO LIKE BRIGHTON OR NOT??? WHAT A CLINGY PIECE OF SHIT.

So then the kid calls them gay and cringey. The sludge makes Thorn snap and makes him yell at the kid, saying:

“The only thing that is ‘cringey’ is that your parents actually let a selfish, ungrateful, bratty, emo-wannabe, wall-eyed, giggling, stuttering, smirking, glass-smashing, DISEASE-RIDDEN abomination like you draw breath!”

“That’s right, I said it: Your parents should have been ProChoice because you do not deserve to breathe the same air as us, you filthy, pile of donkey ca-ca in human-form but yet, here you are, burdening us with your boondoggling!”

“If you’re so miserable, then just die! FIND A DARK HOLE TO CRAWL INTO AND DIE!”

And then Thorn drops unconscious

[odindiana80-blog]

So How About Love of Rashad?

Oh, you can't close a very good door, Rashad replied.  After all, the champion isn't a fighter that is readily hit.  That loss was probably the simplest out of all them.  1 thing to consider is Rashad is instrumental within this whole Jackson phenomenon starting, Jardine explained.  With this in mind, she is not afraid to talk about his game plan.

It appears highly unlikely that Smith is going to be the guy to hand Jones his very first defeat.  If you would like to say, I'd like to move in the division and I'd love to face Anthony Smith', fine.  Evans on the opposite hand will attempt to stand up at first with Rampage, but it is going to only be a bluff to set up for a takedown or clinch in the fence.  Oh basketball is similar to jazz.

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[doomonfilm]

Review : French Exit (2021)

There is something truly special about discovering a movie you’ve not heard of, purposely avoiding promotional materials in order to go in with the purest approach possible, and then, despite years of film viewing and analysis, finding yourself truly captivated by the journey a film presents with little to no clue where the journey will leave you.  Pardon that extremely intense run-on sentence, but it best describes my experience with French Exit.

Initially, it is hard to put a finger on how one is supposed to take French Exit in, but as the story unfolds (especially in two key areas where it takes the boldest of giant steps), the idea of passive-aggressive value starts to take hold, which is a concept that mirrors the melancholy dark humor that fuels the narrative.  The boldest example of this can be found in the way that Frances Price literally sets her money up as a timer for her expiration, which is ironic considering she played life previous to our entry point in the story in a reverse manner where she assumed she’d expire before the money did.  With this new assignment to the last thing of “value” she holds (other than her son Malcolm, who she ultimately wants to be free though she never outright states it), her nonchalance towards the way she doles out the money is both alarming to us while being unburdening to Frances, which creates that rare situation in which the tension exists between onscreen characters and viewers.  With this self-appointed sense of urgency in the air, the value of everyone’s relationship dynamics and interpersonal communication is suddenly thrown under viewer examination in light of how striking Frances’ choice is.

Much like Frances marches into the unknown with a private sense of knowing, we as viewers are pushed into two moments of panic that gives us an indication of how fragile things are : Frances removing Malcolm from his school (which we later find out took place immediately after Frances was released from jail in light of her actions after discovering Frank was dead), followed by a flash-forward to her notification that Frank’s money and assets are going back to the bank (which will leave Frances and Malcolm penniless).  While not directly spelled out, Joan’s recommendation that Frances head to Paris is a subtle indicator of where Frances will end up (which is nicely tied up in the penultimate scene).  The general stillness and acceptance of these fates creates a sort of blank slate aura that somehow allows us as viewers to accept the initial baby step (and eventual forward leap) into the world of the mystic, which helps cleanly separate the story into a beautiful rise and fall.

The odd mood that the story sets is bolstered by the muted, worn-out book page look that the color-timing employs.  There are also moments of striking use of lighting, especially in the apartment, which is especially impressive in light of the fact that the production team used the cheat code of making New York and Paris the main locations.  Speaking of great locations, the interiors and the exteriors of the ship that takes Frances and Malcolm to France is also a great set piece.  The way that the extremely dark humor is balanced against very nuanced and reserved performances is an achievement in terms of strong direction, and while this film will likely not get a Best Director nod during awards season, it is worth recognizing how well Azazel Jacobs is able to walk his cast down the path.  The muted chamber-style score helps sell the dark tone while also giving the film the feel of a play in the vein of Death of a Salesman.

Michelle Pfeiffer has carved herself a long and fruitful career out of using her stunning beauty and stirring intensity to great effect in her roles, and that practice continues with French Exit, but without making it blatant, she adds in touches of despair, romantic longing and existential dread in her march towards her accepted ending.  It took me a while to peg where I recognized Lucas Hedges from (it was Mid90s), and while I wasn’t necessarily the biggest fan of how stoic and defeated he played his role for the most part, it does seem necessary, as it makes the two moments that he accepts his inner pain and sadness pop, meaning the performance was clearly a calculated choice.  Danielle Macdonald does a fabulous job of being the first indicator of where things will take us with her standoffish persona and seeming mystic ability, and when she is not around, her energy is counterbalanced by the fabulously abstract and sincere humor that emerges from Valerie Mahaffrey’s consistent scene-stealing appearances.  Isaach de Bankolé brings some additional sincerity to the table in tandem with a dose of healthy curiosity, while supporting appearances by Imogen Poots, Daniel Di Tomasso, Susan Coyne, Eddie Holland and a voice only role by Tracy Letts fill out the small but powerful ensemble cast.

I think I’m going to hold on to French Exit for a bit... I am intrigued by it, and while I really enjoyed it, I am unsure if I “get it” fully (though I did find the end very moving).  I also need to see if I’m ready to hitch my wagon to any awards season stars yet, particularly in terms of Michelle Pfeiffer for Best Actress and Danielle Macdonald for Best Supporting Actress.  I’d love to know if others out there have seen French Exit, and if so, what their thoughts were about it... I would certainly recommend it, I just don’t know for who yet.