#i love how they bring back mes every time they want to explain a complex part of his personality to us

[year2000electronics]

Ford is such a fascinately flawed character, If he not keep in check he unintentionally brings ruin to everyone around him.

this is literally how i feel talking about ford. ^

because dont get me wrong at many times i am a ford defender when people slander him for the wrong reasons, but also a lot of the time i will be like "YOUR HONOUR HE DID THAT SHIT AND I THINK HE WAS HOT WHEN HE DID IT" and then at other times i will be like "YOUR HONOUR HE DID THAT SHIT AND ISNT IT AMAZING THAT SUCH A COMPLEX AND FLAWED CHARACTER IS NOT DEMONIZED AND VILLAINIZED BY THE NARRATIVE BUT INSTEAD GIVEN A CHANCE TO GROW". so a lot of the time i just end up walking in circles rotating him a lot because i end up wanting to play devils advocate from like literally every angle of "so how much harm did ford do Really"

but i think when you look at ford in the show, hes a very interesting character, specifically because he's this very "loadbearing" character. he's the author, so he has to be the driving force behind the mystery, but he also has to have met and have ended things badly with mcgucket, so we have their falling-out as a tease to the mystery. we need him to cause conflict in the show thanks to his arrival, so he'll do some unlikable things like punch stan and demand his house back and offer dipper the apprenticeship. but he cant be TOO unlikeable because this is a member of the family stan has fought for 30 years to get back, and he also needs to be integrated as Officially A Pines in the VERY limited time we have with him on screen. not only that, but you have to explain his entire backstory in one episode where he harms and is mean to a character who has had two seasons' worth of love behind him SEVERAL TIMES. but you also need to make us feel for him, and you have to make stan's part of the conflict sting too. and THEN! ON TOP! OF ALL! THAT! YOU ALSO NEED TO PAY-OFF THE SETUP YOU HAD OF BILL CIPHER AND THE AUTHOR'S MYSTERIOUS RELATIONSHIP!

and so a lot of the time what i end up thinking is yes, ford is flawed. yes, he can be really callous and unfeeling at times. but i think because he's constantly needing to carry like 10 different plot elements on his back at once, constantly needing to drive conflict along, he ends up being really divisive to people- especially since he has no time to just goof off like everyone else!

so i circle back to this idea of ford as the "ruin-bringer". i think about that wording most meticulously. because that walks this VERY delicate line between saying something about fords character, his flaws, his backstory, and dipping right into "omg lets blame ford for EVERYTHINGGG!" but you think a lot about ford and his self-isolation and his EGO and the way he lifts himself above others both out of pride and out of shame.

ford is almost doing that to himself, really. making himself this common denominator black hole that people keep getting sucked into. because he is of the opinion that there are Special People who need to rise above, he ends up either isolating himself or isolating others to Join Him on the Path. and obviously that in and of itself is a gesture of companionship, of reaching out, because he says "i see the same greatness in you that i do myself"! but of course there IS no secret hidden greatness! so its all inherently flawed! you cant be rising above simply because youre "special" and you "deserve it"! but "special" is the only thing ford knows how to be!

ford is deeply hurting i guess. he seems deeply hurt the way that stan does to me, where everything he does just BLEEDS his trauma. you can see it staining everything. stan's need for companionship and ford's self-isolation. ford's hurting and he needs a healthy outlet but he has a path of destruction in his wake. and that just makes it so much crazier

[grapejuicegay]

hey yeah this episode? next time anyone has anything negative to say about akk i’m just going to hold this episode up. this is why akk acts the way he does. this is why he thinks the school is his responsibility. this is why he’s so willing to burn the school and keep the curse alive to keep people in control. and at least when he’s the one doing it, he can control it. this is what happens when he’s not in control.

i’m ready to start fighting people to defend this boy (mostly chadok but give me anyone, i’ll misplace my anger)

[mypoisonedvine]

𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐞𝐫 | angus tully x reader

sequel to 𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐲, won't really make much sense without reading that!

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 | holiday break can only last so long, but angus wants this to be more than a fling-- and you, as much as you want to deny it, already know it's more than a fling. the question remains if either one of you will admit it.

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 | 5.3k

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 | SMUT (18+ only!!), age gap (not huge but angus is 18 and the reader is just out of college), semi-public sex, breeding kink, very inappropriate activities in a church, secret relationship, a wee bit of angst and fluff at the end!

part 3 coming soon!

���Fuck, I don’t wanna go back,” he groaned, dropping his head defeatedly into the crook of your neck.  “I never wanna go back to that horrible fucking school.”

“I guess you’ll just see me at Easter break then, huh?” you purred, grazing your teeth over his ear.

“You know, if sex with you keeps lining up with the Catholic calendar, it’s gonna give me a complex or something,” he noticed.

“Oh, I can do better than that,” you beamed.  “Next time you see me at Mass, I won’t be wearing any panties.  And you’ll be the only other one who knows.”

He perked up again, balancing himself over you with bent arms against the mattress.  “I swear, you’re a dream come true.  A really fucked up dream I had after seeing a porno mag or something.”

You laughed, but it was cut off with him pulling you into another kiss— sweet and slow, with both of you smiling against each other.  With your limbs tangled together under the sheets, you melted together into your bed; and no, none of it really seemed real yet.  Every time this happened, you couldn’t wrap your head around the fact that you were hooking up with Angus Tully.  Frankly, you were sort of trying not to think about it, at least not too much.  If you really tried, you could look at his face and see the little kid you babysat all those years ago, and it just made you feel sort of awful about it… yet you couldn’t bring yourself to stop.

Your smile fell into a gasp when he started to kiss your neck, his hands guiding your back as it arched slightly.  When he pressed his body against yours, you felt him getting hard against your leg, and you groaned softly.

“Fuck, Angus, again?” you whined.  “We already went twice—”

“I’m leaving in two days,” he explained, “I need you as many times as I can get away with it.”

You wanted to protest, say something about how sore you were or about how he needed to leave and go back home before someone noticed he was gone— but his slender fingers were already diving between your legs and making you just moan instead.

“See?  You’re wet already,” he noticed with a playful mockery to his tone.  “I’ve gotta take care of you, baby…”

Oh, you couldn’t stand it when he talked like that— when he made you feel so vulnerable to him, so paradoxically submissive.  When this started a couple weeks back, it was the other way around: you were the cool, older woman with all the power.  You told him what you wanted and he was more than happy to oblige, never questioning you— he was obedient, basically.  But once you’d had a few more encounters, he realized that you wanted him just as badly… that he could make you desperate, if he wanted.  Once he’d had the smallest taste of control, he was suddenly a changed man; now, he loved to tease and taunt you, see how far he could push you, even once he made you beg— and you expected you’d never get to live that down. 

He watched your face with a mischievous smile as he slowly slid two fingers into you, watching the way you winced and then relaxed.  “I’ll be careful,” he promised, “I know you’re all sensitive still… thought you might wake up the whole house with that last one.”

You rolled your eyes, but your cheeks flushed, remembering how he’d had to cover your mouth with his hand when he made you come.  These were issues you hadn’t considered much before, since you spent most of the year living in a dorm where you didn’t really care if anyone heard what you were up to.  Staying in your parents’ house again— and secretly fucking their friends’ son in your childhood bedroom— posed new challenges to say the least.

You gasped when his fingers curled inside you, rubbing that spot that made everything clench for a moment.  “Mm,” he observed encouragingly, “like that?”

“Yes,” you hissed under your breath.  Just when you began to let your eyes fall shut, they shot open when he added a third finger inside you.  “Fuck!” 

“Oh, don’t be dramatic,” he scolded, “you can fit three fingers just fine— my cock’s bigger than all that anyways.”

He twisted the fingers inside you as your hips rocked, shivers running over your skin.  “Yeah, but still— fuck, it’s a lot…”

“You take it just fine,” he assured.  “You take whatever I give you, huh?”

“Sh-shut up,” you whimpered, and he laughed softly.

“You’re so good for me,” he continued anyways, making you bite your lip in hopes he wouldn’t notice his effect on you.  Whenever he said stuff like that, you just wanted to ask him who the fuck he thought he was— it made you want to shove him off of you and pin him down, remind him of his place.  But you never did, because letting him take control always felt so damn good…

His head dipped down a bit under the covers— and his lips latched onto one of your nipples, making you gasp and grab his hair with one of your hands.  “Oh god— yes,” you praised, shuddering a bit as he suckled hard on the bud.

He moaned around it, his free hand holding the other breast and keeping you down even when your back longed to arch deeper.  “You get so wet when I do this,” he noticed as he pulled away briefly, moving to suck the other for a moment as his fingers gently pumped into you.  When he pushed them in all the way to the knuckle, at the same time that his tongue swirled around your nipple just right, your patience finally gave in.

“Just fuck me,” you begged, tugging harder on his curls as you felt him smile against your skin.  “God, I just— fuck—”

He pulled away from your breast with a pop and a grin.  “Just ask nicely, baby, and I’m all yours.”

“I know you want to, just fuck me,” you growled, but he shook his head and you clenched your jaw.

“You can say it,” he encouraged, “just use the magic word.”

You rolled your eyes, hating the juvenile way of describing it, but his fingers were still moving inside you and you just needed it too bad— “Please,” you breathed.  “Please fuck me.”

“There you go,” he praised, slowly pulling his drenched fingers out of you and moving his hips to line up with yours instead.  He was so hard; you were almost impressed with his resolve, though at the moment you were mostly just annoyed with it.  “Look up at me,” he demanded, making you meet his gaze before he pushed himself inside you.

It was almost too intense, looking right into his eyes as he thrust into you carefully— you bit your lip, watching the heavy sigh of relief leave him as he filled you.

“Fuck,” he whispered, his eyes scanning all over your face and watching your expression change as he pressed his cock as deep as possible.  “You’re fucking perfect.”

You didn’t really believe that, but you at least would concede that this moment was perfect.

You held tighter onto him, legs wrapping around his hips, as he leaned in closer and moaned against your neck.  “How am I supposed to leave when you feel this fucking good?” he groaned lowly, and you felt yourself already beginning to pulse inside as you moved closer to the edge.  “I feel good too, right?”

Poor thing— if only he knew that it was his own fault you withheld praise, just because he sounded too precious when he asked you for reassurance like that.  He was really fucking talkative, way more than you expected; sometimes you thought if you didn’t say anything, he’d just go off on these wild tangents about how bad he needs you.  “You feel good,” you replied, trying to keep it a little vague so he’d ask for more.

“How good?” he asked with a grin, and you smiled, too, because he was wonderfully predictable sometimes.

“So good,” you cooed, “so fucking good that I’m gonna come way too fast.”

“Hey, that’s my thing,” he joked.  His stamina had definitely increased a lot in just a few encounters, but he still had a habit of coming quickly if you got him a bit too riled up.  Not that you really minded… it was still cute, after all, and he usually made it up to you one way or another.

He picked up his pace, letting out a low moan against your ear.  “Tell me you want me to come inside you,” he ordered, panting with each quick thrust.

“Fuck, Angus, I want you come,” you replied, whispering against his ear.  “I want you to fill me—”

“Fuck…”

“And put all your come so deep in me—”

“Fuck, baby,” he whined again.  “I’m so fucking close.”

You whined, running your fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck, feeling your chest get tighter as you moved closer to the edge.

“Tell me you want me to breed you,” he added; okay, so much for predictable…

“Wh-what?” you choked, feeling suddenly hot all over.  “Angus, I—”

“I know, you won’t,” he soothed, “it’s just, you know, pretend… just say you want it, please.”

You swallowed but nodded, holding on tighter to the back of his neck.  “I… I want you to get me pregnant.”

“God, yes,” he whined through his teeth, fucking you faster.

“I-I want you to fill me up so I can have a baby,” you continued in a whisper, and he moaned again as his grip on your hips tightened.  You could hardly believe what you were saying, nor that he had asked you to say it, and yet it made the most wonderfully bizarre feeling stir inside you— strangest of all, it was turning you on.  “F-fuck, Angus, I’m gonna come.”

“You’re gonna come with me?” he pressed, sighing when you nodded.  “Fuck, let’s do it— we’ll come together.  That’ll definitely get you pregnant.”

“Jesus, Angus,” you hissed, “what are you talking about?”

“It doesn’t get you hot, thinking about it?” he challenged.  “Thinking about us making a baby right now?  Imagining how good it would feel to let me breed you and make you a mommy?”

“Sh-shut the fuck up,” you grunted, but you were already trying to hold it back.

“God, you want it so bad,” he noticed— how was he only this perceptive in these sorts of situations?  “You want me to come in you and knock you up, I can tell.  You’re gonna come just thinking about it.”

Even though it wasn’t really just thinking about it— it was him fucking you deep and fast and hard after a whole night of making love— you were forced to bite your lip and nod.

“C’mon, baby, I wanna feel it again,” he purred.  “Feels so fucking perfect when you come around me— you’re mine, aren’t you?”

Your heart jumped and your eyes shut tight.  “God,” you groaned in frustration, but he just smiled and held you tighter.

“It’s okay,” he cooed, “nobody has to know, it’s just me— you’re mine, right?  Say it.  Say you’re mine.”

You whined when it hit you— and nothing had ever hit you quite like that.  Tensing up inside, pulsing uncontrollably, you felt the weight on your chest lift and you dug your nails into his shoulders as he fucked you through it.  “Fuck!  I-I’m yours!” you blurted out, unable to stop it when you were drowning in your ecstasy like that.

He swore against your ear, and gave you hardly one more thrust before falling over the edge himself, groaning weakly as his body sank down onto yours.

You hoped against all odds that he wouldn’t force you to address any of what you’d just said; he looked so exhausted that you almost wanted to let him fall asleep here if it meant avoiding that conversation.  But it was just like him to only give you about ten seconds of silence before running his mouth again.

He started by just sitting up enough to kiss you on the cheek, then the lips, then the side of your forehead when you turned away.  “That was so hot,” he announced, still catching his breath, as he grinned down at you.

“That was… different,” you admitted as you hoped your embarrassment wouldn’t show on your face.  “You weren’t serious, right?  I mean, you know I’m on the pill—”

“Yeah, of course,” he assured, “it’s just, I don’t know, a fantasy.”

You raised an eyebrow as you looked at him.  “Respectfully, I thought it was more of a nightmare— you know, it’s kinda worst-case-scenario here.”

“No, no, I know— that’s why it’s fun,” he explained.  “‘Cause it’s, like, bad.  Well, not bad, but… scary.  In a good way!  Like a rollercoaster or something.”

“Yeah, sure,” you scoffed, “just like a rollercoaster.  That’s why the maternity ward at the hospital looks so much like Six Flags.”

“You know what I mean,” he laughed.  “It’s just… if it actually happened it would be a huge fucking deal… but just imagining it, just for fun I mean, it makes my heart race.  See?”

He picked up one of your hands and put it on his neck, pressing your fingers into his pulse so you could feel its rapidness.  “Fair enough,” you shrugged, “you sure scared the crap out of me for a second.”

“You liked it,” he cooed, kissing the tip of your nose.  “You like being mine, too.”

Even if you could’ve hid the reaction on your face somehow, the way your weak muscles still found the energy to clench around his softening cock gave you away; he purred as he smiled, kissing you more tenderly on the lips this time.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered to you.

“I probably look like a mess,” you laughed quietly, “I don’t even want to know what my hair looks like after a night like this.”

“Yeah, that’s how I like you, though— you look pretty all fucked up,” he explained.

You glanced over as he moved to bury his face in your neck again, only to see the slightest blue glow in the window: the early light just before dawn.  “Angus, it’s almost morning,” you noticed.  “You need to go.”

“Not yet,” he begged, hugging you tighter.  “I bet I can make you come again—”

“No,” you snapped, “if your parents find out you snuck out— and if anyone knows you came here—”

“Baby, c’mon,” he pouted, “I’ll be quick, nobody’s gonna know—”

“I swear to god, Angus—”

“Fine, fine,” he sighed, “then just kiss me before I go.”

He held your cheek and turned your face to his, and you kissed him; you hated these kisses, the ones that felt like goodbye.  They were amazing, of course, but they always broke your heart.

“I’ll see you later?” he assumed.

“You’ll see me on Sunday,” you replied.

“Nooo, I can’t wait that long,” he whined.

“Yes you can,” you breathed.  “Now get up, please, before I have to literally kick you out.”

“Fine,” he relented, climbing off of you and searching the floor for his boxers and t-shirt.

“I still can’t believe you ran here without even putting a coat on,” you remembered, “it’s below freezing out.”

“Whatever, it’s not even a block to my house,” he rolled his eyes.

“Mr. Lindy across the street takes out the trash insanely early in the morning— what if he sees you running back to your house in the snow without any fucking clothes on?!” 

“He was young once, right?  He’ll understand,” Angus laughed.

“I’m hoping he doesn’t understand,” you groaned, “‘cause if he figures it out and tells my parents—”

“I know,” he breathed, slipping on his shoes and leaning over the bed to kiss you quickly.  “It’ll be fine, okay?”

“Okay,” you smiled back.

There was a brief pause before Angus dropped his arms down against his sides, hitting his legs; “Well, I… guess I’ll see you at Mass,” he announced.

“That’s gotta be the weirdest thing to say after hooking up with somebody,” you decided.

“I couldn’t think of anything else!” he defended.  “I’m about to jump out your window, it’s already a pretty weird transition.”

“Okay, first of all, please don’t jump,” you replied, “but fair enough.  I’ll see you at Mass.”

He hesitated, suddenly giving you one more kiss— one that lingered a little more— before opening your window and beginning to climb out.

~

Mass was certainly a lot more interesting when you kept feeling Angus’ eyes on you.  His family had been just barely on time for the service, so you hadn’t been able to talk to him before it started; you could tell he was dying to know if you’d gone through with it.

You tugged on the bottom of your dress as you adjusted yourself in the pew; it was definitely a weird feeling, and you couldn’t stop worrying that someone, somehow, would see up your skirt and get an eyeful.  The anxiety of it was oddly arousing, though— it made you understand a bit better what Angus had said about the whole scary in a good way thing.

When you occasionally spared a glance at him, you noticed that Angus still looked a little underslept; you’d both been up all night just a couple days ago, but the difference was that your parents didn’t really mind if you spent most of the next day in your room, so you’d had a chance to catch up— Angus’ parents were more determined to make use of his time off from school, and had him doing all kinds of chores and activities on Saturday that prevented him from getting more than a quick nap here and there.

And they’d tugged him out of bed bright and early for church today, so he was probably still feeling the effects of an all-nighter.  That said, he certainly didn’t seem lacking in energy at the moment— he kept wringing his hands, constantly glancing at you, so noticeably that his mom lightly smacked him on the shoulder when she noticed it.

But you were looking across the aisle at him, too.  If for no other reason than how cute he looked in his shirt and tie.

After the service, as everyone mingled around coffee and donuts, Angus made a beeline towards you— you’d kind of hoped he would be a little more subtle.

“Hey,” he greeted, and you just nodded at him with a smirk.  “It’s been too long.”

He glanced at all the people passing by, stepping closer to you to let someone walk past but never moving back; he waited until no one was too close before he spoke again in a lower voice.

“Are you really not wearing any…?” he asked, an extra sparkle in his eye and a mischievous smile on his face.  His smile dropped a bit when you nodded, though, and his eyes raked over you in the most intoxicating, lascivious way.  You were sure you’d never had someone look at you like that, like they’d give anything to devour you right then— and with no panties to hold it, you felt your arousal slicken where your thighs rubbed together.

He cleared his throat and glanced over his shoulder, making sure no one was looking over at him as he adjusted his corduroys awkwardly; you licked your lips, a little too flattered by the effect you had on him.

“That’s, um, that’s…” he mumbled, tripping over his words.  “That’s really… yeah.”

“Really what?” you challenged as you bit your lip briefly, moving closer to him and all but batting your eyes up at him.

“It’s really fucking sexy,” he whispered.

“Yeah?” you cooed.  “I think it’s sexy that you think it’s sexy.”

“I haven’t stopped thinking about—” he began.

“I know,” you sighed, “me too.”

“I wasn’t even tired that day— I was wired, actually,” he laughed quietly.  “I just… I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

Your heart’s pace picked up a bit, and you glanced away briefly.  “I, um… I thought about you, too.

“There’s gotta be somewhere we can go,” he whispered.  “It’s a big place— everyone’s here, if we just… found an empty room—”

“Jesus, Angus— in a church?!” you hissed.

“Come on,” he begged, “I don’t know when we’ll get a chance again— and I’m leaving tomorrow— and I want you so bad—”

“Shh,” you warned him, making sure no one was nearby again.  “We’ll figure something out— just not here.  It’s too risky.”

“But I need you now,” he insisted, voice lower and darker as he stepped just a bit closer to you.  “It won’t take us long— I mean, it definitely won’t take me long, after spending the last two days thinking about you.”

You crossed your arms, looking down at the floor, and you felt him lean in over you.  “Please, baby?” he whispered under his breath.

Releting, you took a glance at the crowd and made sure nobody was looking in your direction.  “You go find an empty room in the east wing.  I’ll talk to a few people— so it doesn’t look like we’re going together— and I’ll come find you in a few minutes, okay?”

“Great,” he beamed.  “Uh, which way is east again?”

You pointed him in the right direction and watched him bound away, sighing to yourself as you re-entered the crowd.  You got a lot of questions about your plan now that you finished your degree— and you found yourself repeating the same stock answer about how your graduate program didn’t start until the fall so you had the spring and summer to stay home.  Even though you knew you needed to kill some time to look less suspicious, you found yourself glancing constantly towards the east wing, getting more and more impatient for your chance to slip away as unnoticed as possible.

As the crowd was clearing out and nearly everyone’s attention was turned onto somebody’s new baby, you took the opportunity to disappear into the dark hallway.  As you peered around the doors, you saw Angus peeking out at you through one of the little windows; the door opened, and you slipped into an abandoned Sunday school classroom, barely having time to gingerly shut the door behind you before you felt his lips on your neck and his hand sliding up your thigh.

“That took forever,” he complained, and before you could remind him it had hardly been five minutes, his fingers were exploring between your legs.  “Fuck, what’re you so wet for?” he teased, and you groaned as you pulled him closer by his pants and hopped up to sit on the low bookshelf nearby.

“Just hurry up,” you hissed, “we need to get this over with before somebody finds us here.”

He opened his fly quickly, but struggled slightly to free himself from the confines of his trousers; you hummed a bit when he got it out, pressing it against you right away as you moved your hips up.

Thrusting into you all at once, you both sighed slowly; you took hold of his shoulders, he grabbed onto your hips, and instantly he began to fuck into you impatiently.

“God, you’re so tight,” he hissed against your ear.  “Touch yourself— I want you to come, too.”

You reached between your bodies to put a few fingers on your clit, rubbing fast in hopes that you could catch up with him.

“Do you always do what you’re told?” he mocked playfully.

“I think the fact that we’re doing this right after church proves that I don’t,” you replied.

“Guess you only do what I tell you to,” he shrugged, which really made you want to talk back, but you couldn’t because you were trying not to moan too loudly.

He moved faster inside you, and something about the angle of sitting up on the shelf was making him hit just the right spot— or maybe you were sensitive from the exhilarating fear of getting caught.

“What if I got you pregnant here?” he purred, making you arch your back slightly.  “Wouldn’t that be funny?”

“You’ve got a weird sense of humor, Tully,” you breathed, struggling not to let your voice come out all whiny and weak.

“Knocked up at St. Mary’s… it’s what God would want, right?”

“Do you never shut up?” you hissed.

“No,” he smirked, “you’re cute when you’re ticked off at me.”

His eyes met yours, and you felt a strange emotion stir in your chest: you bit your lip, willing yourself to tear away from his gaze, but you found it impossible somehow.

One of his hands moved from your hip up to your chest, palming at you through your dress.  You tensed up inside, making him wince a bit, and you couldn’t believe how close you were already.

“Oh god, baby, m’gonna come,” you whimpered, moving your hand even faster over your clit; he groaned in approval, leaning in to kiss all along your neck.

“Come for me,” he pleaded, “I’m so fucking close— please come, fuck—”

“R-right there,” you gasped, gripping his shoulder tighter— actually, that wasn’t the only place you were gripping him tighter.  He was struggling to maintain the pace of his thrusts, in fact, with how hard your walls were bearing down on him.  “Yes, yes, yes—”

“Not too loud,” he warned you, and you bit hard on your own lip to suppress your moan: it stayed in your throat instead, and you heard him gasp as he heard and felt you reaching your peak.  He had to take his hand off your chest and put it on the bookshelf under you to help keep you upright, and he looked down between your bodies to watch himself give you a few final thrusts.

He stopped suddenly, whimpering slightly as he buried himself in you as deep as he could go; you sighed and laid back on the bookshelf again, having to tilt your head to avoid a figurine of some prophet or saint that you had absolutely no interest in identifying at the moment.

Angus took a moment to catch his breath, before looking back over his shoulder and through the door’s window to make sure no one was in the hallway.  He pulled his cock out of you carefully and did his best to fit it back into his pants.  As you felt a warm oozing feeling between your legs, your face began to heat up.

“Maybe I didn’t think this through,” you realized.

“What?” he mumbled.

“I’m gonna have to go out there with nothing on under my dress, with your come leaking out of me.”

He bit his lip.

“It’s not sexy, Angus!  It’s very inconvenient!” you frowned.

“It’s both,” he insisted.  “It’s very much both.”

~

Though you did get another chance to see Angus before he left, it wasn’t that sort of rendezvous, unfortunately.  Although, just sitting and talking with him was wonderful, too— in an entirely different way.  See, that was the thing that scared you most, even more than how badly you’d come to crave his touch: how happy you felt just being with him.

He was funny, and weird, and seemed to think your stories from college were fascinating; he was well-read, especially for a high school student, and you two could chat about your favorite books— a hobby most of your classmates in college found too nerdy to sympathize with.  

It probably looked totally wholesome from the outside: two childhood friends catching up while they were back home for a while.  And you, you probably looked normal and cool on the outside— you were trying to, at least.  But inside, you were terrified.  You wanted it to be like what Angus said— scary, in a good way, like a rollercoaster— but you were starting to just feel sick.  You know, like an actual rollercoaster would…

“Everyone there is so… dumb,” Angus decided as he leaned back, looking up at the ceiling.

“That can’t be true, it’s a good school,” you tried to encourage him.

“I mean, maybe they could be smart, but they act like morons,” he clarified.  “They hate me, too, and I don’t even really know why.”

“Probably because they can sense that you think they’re all morons,” you suggested; and he looked over at you, as if he’d genuinely never thought of that before.

But instead of addressing that, he sat up again and changed the subject.  “My parents probably want me to go back and, like, put my trunk in the car and stuff…”

“Right,” you nodded, “you should go.”

“Yeah— b-but, listen, um, before I do…” he trailed off, leaning a little closer to you on the couch.  “I wanted to, you know, talk.  About something.”

“We’ve been talking for half an hour,” you noticed.

“Right, uh— I meant something specific,” he explained, his cheeks seeming to get a little bit more pink.  “I… I won’t be back until spring break, you know…”

“Uh huh,” you nodded, raising an eyebrow as you wondered what he was getting at.

“And, you know, we’ve been having such a great time,” he went on, and your heart twisted.  You’d heard this spiel before: the things are so good now, why do we need to put a label on it? why can’t we just have fun talk.  The you’re great, but not good enough for more than this talk.  You decided to jump in and spare him before he said anything too… honest.

“I get it,” you promised, and he looked at you nervously.  “We’re gonna be too far apart for too long— and you shouldn’t, you know, feel like you’re tied down to anything.  It’s okay— I didn’t think I was, like, your girlfriend or anything.”

“R-right,” he coughed, looking away and putting his hand on the back of his neck.  “Yeah, that’s— that’s what I was gonna say.  I knew you’d understand.”

You smiled, wishing you weren’t always so goddamn understanding.  “But it was fun— a good way to kill time over the break, for sure.”

“Yeah,” he agreed alongside a thin laugh.  “I… I think I’ll always owe you, for being my first time and all.”

“Well, you’ve certainly spent your first two weeks of not being a virgin pretty well,” you snorted.  “I had a good time.  We’ll call it even.”

“And… when I come back?” he pressed.  “Maybe we can, I dunno… maybe we can do it again.”

You grinned and tilted your head.  “Yeah, I like that idea.”

“But can I still call you?” he asked nervously.

“Of course!” you beamed.  “You’ll have to tell me if you get any good books assigned this semester.”

“Yeah, I doubt it,” he scoffed, but his smile lifted just a bit.

“I can come see you off, if you want,” you offered, “but it might make your mom suspect something…”

“You’re probably right,” he admitted, “I wish you weren’t, but you are— but I’ll call first thing when I get there!”

You smiled, and he gave you a hug before he left; and he promised to call again, though you’d believed him the first time.  And the next time you stayed up all night with Angus, it was on the phone— he snuck out of bed with a bag of quarters, and told you the phone was free so you wouldn’t feel bad, and talked to you about everything he could possibly think of.

Except, you didn’t quite make it all night: you fell asleep at some point, while he was talking about his English paper… not that he could blame you.

And for some reason, one that even he himself couldn’t quite explain, he kept feeding the phone quarters and listening to you sleep; he didn’t hang up until it was nearly morning and he had to sneak back into his room.

[series masterlist here]

[leondickrider]

love languages | leon s kennedy x gn!reader

💭 . . . i'm so pretty that the leon lookalike in my class and i made eye contact four times yesterday and i caught him looking in my direction like... he wants me so bad | wc. 307

synopsis: what are leon's love languages and how does he express them?

before reading: fluff, not proofread or read by betas, i wrote this in like ten minutes at one am while listening to the honeymoon album😪 | warnings: none

words of affirmation ౨ৎ

i see leon as a words of affirmation typa guy at every point in his life. like when he's 21 he is very optimistic and he would likely praise you for everything bc he thinks you're just perfect. but as he gets older words of affirmation gets a new meaning for him and he does it for other reasons; like reassuring himself and you that he does love you and stuff like that

physical touch ౨ৎ

tbh i see this mainly bring him when he's older. like ofc when he's younger he loves hugs and kisses but well you know he kinda fights zombies for a living so he takes physical touch seriously because he never knows when it's going to be the last time he can touch you 💀 so the kisses last a bit longer and the hugs are more ??? intimate ??? idk how to explain it i'm literally just a girl

receiving gifts ౨ৎ

well taking into account his jacket in re4*** omg is almost $1,500, we know he's rich rich. like bro casually loses a $1,500 jacket after like five minutes with no reaction like bro ??? so he definitely puts a lil bit of that government paycheck into spoiling his significant other. you want a necklace? sure. you want enough mcdonalds to feed a family of four? ofc babe

quality time ౨ৎ

going back to phsyical touch, he literally fights zombies for a living and doesn't know if he will make it home 💀 this mf is a sucker for quality time. like you don't even have to be doing anything, just sitting in silence next to him is enough for him to be happy. however, i feel like he really likes nature idk so i think he would really love hiking/going on walks with you, but he also likes relaxing at home with like a coloring book or something

acts of service ౨ৎ

he has a hero complex

reblogs and replies appreciated <3 🎀 @luvrfaries

leon kennedy masterlist

[honestlyijustfindhersocharming]

A Needlessly Long Analysis of Every Single Cat King Scene in Dead Boy Detectives and Why I Want to Throw Him.

After many, many rewatches of Dead Boy Detectives for the sake of trying to get another season, I've found myself with increasingly strong feelings about a certain feline so... Can we talk about the Cat King? Yes? Great. Forewarning, I'm about to absolutely ream this shapeshifter because he's complex, confusing, horrible, and has so much potential that I need to talk about it.

Please keep in mind that this is my personal take !! I love the Cat King as a character, I just don't like a lot of his actions given the context.

Introduction to the Madness ...

The Cat King is a wonderful antagonist for so many reasons, but I feel like a lot of people have forgotten that he's an extraordinarily flawed person and can be incredibly creepy at times. Lukas does a wonderful job portraying the Cat King's charm, as does George in portraying Edwin's brief moments of falling into his traps, but the Cat King is not a good person. Let's go down the list.

The Cat King's Introduction: Episode 2

Episode 2 starts off with the consequences of Edwin's rash actions in Episode 1, something that I'm fully here for. It gives Edwin's jealousy real weight outside of just causing tension between Crystal and Edwin. However, I think people forget that the Cat King's "punishment" is (almost) completely selfish. Yes, while he claims that it's a consequence for harming the other cats, the punishment doesn't actually reward the cat Edwin used magic on, instead only benefiting the Cat King himself. It does force Edwin to distinguish between the cats, something that I figured out after another watch of the scene, but... I'm not sure if that was his main motivation when he blatantly says later that he wanted more time with Edwin.

The two options Edwin is presented with are sex and counting all the cats in Port Townsend. Option one is mildly horrific, even if Edwin is to consent it could still be considered coercive as the Cat King is in a position of power over Edwin. I personally don't think it'd get to that point - the Cat King sees the Edwin is a repressed Edwardian boy and wants to test that boundary - but... the implication is hard to swallow. When Edwin is given the option of counting cats, he emphasizes that he is a "fair and consensual Cat King", which we'll get back to later, but the offer itself is still - essentially - a move on Edwin as it forces him to stay in the Cat King's vicinity for longer. The task itself is stupid, but it again doesn't benefit any of the cats besides the Cat King. The only reason Edwin's stay is prolonged is because the Cat King is fascinated by Edwin. That's it.

While this interaction does contribute to Edwin's eventual sexual awakening, that does not make the interaction itself good. And this dichotomy between the Cat King starring in Edwin's journey of self discovery but doing so in the literal worst way continues in Episode 4...

The Cat King and Exploiting Emotional Attachment: Episode 4

I'd like to point out that this interaction starts out with the Cat King scratching Edwin, something that he explains by referencing "rough play". Now, this is obviously a joke, but it still brings up issues with the continued lack of Edwin's consent in something that the Cat King frames as sexual. What really kills me about this scene though, is how the Cat King exploits Edwin's other crushes - or potential crushes - to get a reaction out of him. The funniest thing about this to me, is that the way that the Cat King shapeshifts into people that Edwin cares for ends up paralleling him to Angie, our monster of the week. Angie also exploits the emotional attachment of someone to their loved ones for personal gain, but in her case it's to actively seek out food. What separates the two to me, is that the Cat King does not need Edwin to care for him, nor does he need Edwin to survive, he just wants Edwin, therefore making him kind of worse that the monster that we go into this Episode trying to slay.

Again, this does end up assisting Edwin in his eventual realization that he likes Charles, but it's the entirely wrong way of going about it. The scene ends with me just feeling like Edwin got thrown around like a mouse by this cat in the middle of something that's genuinely important to him. And then the confession of why Edwin does the casework. Sweet Jesus. Yes, it's good that Edwin gets that truth out for the sake of the audience, but the knowledge that the Cat King gains out of it is chilling to me. It's another display of the power the Cat King holds over Edwin because while you can argue that he uses the binding spell on Edwin as payback for what happened to his cats, forcing the truth out of Edwin was nothing but for himself. I think he believes it's for Edwin's sake, to make him feel more comfortable sharing things now that the first hurdle has passed, but it... really doesn't? The way that this backfires really emphasizes the way that pushing Edwin's boundaries like this isn't a good way to gain his affection.

The last thing to point out in this specific interaction is the last couple of lines of the scene, specifically the way that the Cat King taunts Edwin about the cat count of 142 being "way off". We know this is a bluff because later, he confirms that there are 147 cats in Port Townsend, including himself of course. The irony to this scene in my opinion is the fact that the Cat King just said to Edwin that he wanted him to be more honest, and then immediately lies. The double standard is insane, and I can't tell if the Cat King realizes it or not.

Something I feel important to note as well is the way that Edwin, in the same episode, when asked if he'd like to kiss the Cat King answers painfully fast. Monty he at least considers, but the Cat King isn't even an option to him. To me, this just displays further how horrifically the Cat King has fucked up any chances of a meaningful relationship with Edwin.

The Cat King Becomes an Incel for a Hot Minute: Episode 6

Episode 6... Oh boy Episode 6. Episode 6 is hard because he doesn't stop being a boundary pusher, but it's also ever the more evident just how much this stupid cat cares about Edwin. I would love to defend him and be like "oh actions speak louder than words" but his actions STILL suck in this scene. So, let's break down those action one by one.

First off, he goes to the forest. That's a big one because he mentions that he's been looking for Edwin the entire night, seemingly for no other reason than to explain to him the situation with Monty being an essential double agent. The first bit of the interaction between the Cat King and Monty isn't much to note, in my opinion, because it's mostly just taunting. But, in this case, the taunting is kind of warranted. Though I personally empathize with Monty's situation, he is still leading Edwin into a trap that could kill him. Where the Cat King pushes boundaries again is the goddamn kiss. It feels... icky. Predatory.

Again, there's no consent in this situation, and though it all comes from a place of worrying for Edwin's safety, I'm not sure that excuses it. I will grant the Cat King the fact that he's extraordinarily honest with Edwin throughout the scene, exposing Monty's identity and the case without beating around the bush much. The way that the Cat King ends the interaction, because though I'm not exactly sure what to think about the Cat King's approval of Edwin lashing out at Monty, I know exactly what I think about what follows.

Edwin, rightly, immediately thinks to take the information he just learned to Crystal and Charles, the two people who could still be in danger because of this now pointless case. The Cat King takes this time to make yet another move instead of just... accepting the fact that he helped and that could build Edwin's trust later. The way the Cat King says "I believe I'm at least owed a little thank-you" threw me off the first time I watched it, but I accepted it. I suppose Edwin could have been more polite. And then the Cat King said "By the way, the second kiss is always much better."

Dude. What. So, to break this down, the Cat King comes out to help save Edwin from a potentially life threatening situation only because he believes that he will get a reward out of it. When Edwin refuses (rightfully so, what the fuck) the Cat King asserts his power again by saying that he's "not someone to be dismissed". Edwin's words are harsh when he states that the Cat King is nothing more than the chain linking him to Port Townsend, but I don't feel as though he's entirely wrong to be upset in this situation. The Cat King, instead of making me feel bad for him afterwards, goes full Nice Guy™ on Edwin afterwards by yelling at him that he'll stop playing nice. Instead of taking literally two seconds to introspect, he threatens Edwin like that's going to keep his stubborn ass from doing anything.

Hello? What happened to fair and consensual Cat King, dude? He's so out of touch with how to actually express his affection for someone, and it's honestly insane.

Alone: Episode 7

Episode 7 is the third to last time we see the Cat King, and it's the first time that he's not in the presence of Edwin. We see him be more vulnerable here, and get a better understanding of how he acts when he's cornered. He starts off haughty, continues his antics with innuendo to offset tension, and then continues to taunt Ester until he gets literally killed by her. After his death he expresses his fear through anger, and continues to attempt to defend Edwin. First by trying to remind her that he's not going to give her the youth she desires, then by telling her to "keep your paws off of him".

It's somewhat heart warming to know he does truly care for Edwin, but he's still in it for himself, ultimately. He doesn't attempt to go against Esther again out of fear that he'll die for it, and his values of his survival above else. It's great character building, and a great flaw, but again annoying that he only expresses this level of care without Edwin around.

Redemption?: Episode 8

Episode 8 is meant to be his, sort-of, redemption Episode in my opinion. He is vulnerable with Niko and Crystal in regards to his fear of Esther (kind of, he does confess that he was killed by her), gives them information on Esther's background, and also gives them a tip off on something that could help stop her - black salt.

After Niko's death, when he presents Edwin with flowers, I believe he is meant to be at his best. He does not demand anything from Edwin in that moment, only apologizes for the loss of Niko and compliments her bravery. It's interesting to note that the lilies that he gifts to Edwin are toxic to cats, potentially a symbol of his attempt to be less selfish when it comes to him. And that he doesn't ask for anything more from Edwin when he is given the kiss on the cheek.

Of course, he still maintains his bravado and teasing nature, but that - it seems - is meant to be the Cat King's redemption arc.

But... is it enough?

Is it Enough?: Conclusions

I don't think so, personally. I think that in a Season 2, the Cat King could've become a better, less selfish, person. But at the moment, I think he's still stuck in the same middle ground that Monty ends up in where the one good deed he does ends up being a small drop in the bullshit that comes before that. While I do think that Monty is ultimately more forgivable, there is still a lot that would need to happen to truly get both of them to a point where they can be forgiven by those they harmed (and me, tbh). The Cat King may have done better eventually, but he still never really apologized for his contributions to everything that happened in Port Townsend, or the bullshit that he did to Edwin personally.

All this to circle back around to this: Fuck Netflix for depriving us of Season 2 and potentially truly redeeming the Cat King and having him actually learn to care about Edwin in a way that doesn't push his boundaries immeasurably. And fuck Netflix for not giving me a chance to see the Cat King start to accept the fact that he is fucking lonely and does way too much to cover it up. I need him acknowledging his fuck ups, becoming a genuine protagonist and not just someone who could be good! He has so much potential to be more than a mere predator playing with his food and Netflix took that from us.

Tldr; Netflix is the real villain here, but the Cat King sure does a good job of trying to be the best, most complicated, most annoying, most horrifying antagonist.

[a-forger-and-a-point-man]

Oppenheimer / immediate thoughts

ok nolan fans let's talk, i just got back.

i am very well acquainted with 20th century american history but i did not do any additional research on oppenheimer the man or the trinity test because i wanted to be surprised by the movie's narrative and imagery, so keep that in mind as you read. i'm not fact-checking for the time being... i want to go do my own reading at my leisure when it's not past midnight.

DON'T GO SEE IT IN IMAX. SAVE YOUR MONEY AND A HEADACHE. it's not inception or dunkirk or the batman films or interstellar. just go to your local theater or wait until it's available to stream. trust me on this. i'll explain why in the spoilers section below.

YOU'RE BEING WARNED. SPOILERS AHEAD.

-this was the least nolan-y film that nolan has ever made. i see more of following in it (his very first film) than i do any other project. it was definitely a bit of a different direction for him.

-this is basically a biopic of sorts about oppenheimer. it's not about the war nor is it really about the bomb. it's about an awkward, conflicted, and possibly mentally ill physics genius who seems to not know how to do much in life beyond quantum physics theory. like yes, he's got a brilliant mind, but he's far from a well-rounded, impressive human being. the guy was a hot mess long before anyone mentioned the word bomb.

-taking that into consideration, i can see how the suffering of humans (whether the navajo nation in new mexico, or the japanese people) doesn't play a role in the film. japanese victims are mentioned, but briefly in one scene. that doesn't make any of this right. in fact a more entertaining, eye-opening, and timely film should have included more of both - but i see now that nolan wanted to focus on ONE man and cillian is indeed in practically every. single. scene.

-cillian should be nominated for an oscar and win it.

-humans are very complex and you CAN both build the bomb AND feel bad about it, yes it's entirely possible and normal, but the film is still 3 hours of white guilt. i'm openly saying it. the reason you shouldn't see it in imax is because it's 3 hours of middle aged white men sitting around making terrible decisions. it's SO MUCH TALKING, jesus.

-IMAX cameras are stupidly loud, which is why most filmmakers don't use them. you can't hear dialogue. they're for action scenes. so that very much explains why i was just ITCHING for subtitles on this. so many different accents and everyone mumbling and the score was louder than their voices and ARGHHH nolan why.

-female characters are unremarkable and underused. i know nolan and i know how he uses female characters. at this point i'm convinced he just doesn't know how to write them, and he can only work with male-driven stories and you know what... fine. it is what it is. unless he brings female writers on board, nothing will change, because he can't do it himself.

-why are there sudden bare tiddies in a nolan film. fanboys, did u love it? did u get what u wanted? was that it? finally, a sex scene in a nolan film? it added nothing and i could argue it took some things away. sorry folks. entirely unnecessary.

-ok THE BEST PART was the surprise cameos. cillian was in every scene and yet he was the least famous person among big oscar winners sometimes! it was wild! i was internally screaming at gary oldman as harry truman. excellent choice to play him like the clown he was. AND EINSTEIN??? did y'all catch that or no??? i knew it right away from the voice and the kind eyes. it's the GUY FROM THE PIT IN THE DARK KNIGHT RISES. he helps bruce recover, and narrates the ascent of "the child". terrific casting! and i haven't checked IMDB yet, but is borden (not named after the character from the prestige!) played by the arkham patient from the dark knight? the one who gets shot in the leg and interrogated by harvey dent?? tell me i am recognizing the right guy! and then we had matthew modine... casey affleck... rami malek who appeared for like 3 mins maybe?! AND Y'ALL, JOSH HARTNETT????????????????? OMG my biggest crush when i was 15. that was craaaazy. but i do like seeing nolan bring back his friends... it's very much a nolan circle as we all know. and once you're in it, you're in it!

-the use of sound was VERY GOOD. the explosion actually being silent, because light reaches us before sound? but also the way the buildup was so intense and so hyped up and then just.... complete silence to reflect on the monstrosity being produced, and how nothing will be the same.

-there was a lot of train sounds to emphasize the railroad, but also... anyone notice that the stomping noise in oppenheimer's head almost felt like a train was coming through? TELL ME YOU DIDN'T THINK ABOUT COBB'S GUILTY CONSCIENCE IN INCEPTION, and how a train would ram through the dream. nolan doing an homage to himself is absolutely hysterical and i am here for it i guess.

-i'm not sure how audiences abroad will feel about all the scenes in washington with congressional testimony. does that stuff carry over well? do you get the references? it's such inside baseball, i know, and it adds so much time to the film, and yet MORE scenes with middle aged white men talking. i could have done with less of the black and white "present day" scenes and more about the impact of the bomb, or maybe more about kitty's life and how she overcame her (presumed?) alcoholism and depression.

-the casual discussion about the 11 cities shortlisted to drop the atomic bomb "but not kyoto because of its cultural importance" made people laugh in the theater as intended, but honestly like... nothing in the movie is funny. it's really heavy stuff and i still stand by the fact that the bomb should never have been produced, despite what oppenheimer and others tried to say. because even its production is incredibly dangerous. it's not just about where you fucking drop it.

-did i mention there is too much matt damon. like, too much.

-rami malek is the only person of color with a speaking role in this film. that's right.

-ok what else guys??? i wanna hear thoughts. there's a lot more but i'm so tired at this hour

[nereidprinc3ss]

so um, i wanted to rant in here for a little bit. so far, i have loved your dybmn series and this makes me think that the way you write your characters complexities is so good. i’m a little afraid of sharing this as everyone here seems to love dybmn spencer.

because god, spencer is so unfair and insufferable. reader is insecure but not as unbelievable unbearable as spencer, i understand if i might be misinterpreting this but it was easy to deduce he would be the one projecting his own insecurities on reader.

it annoys me how he won’t give her the opportunity to truly enjoy her body as she wants to sexually engage with him. he claims he wants her and cares for her pleasure but sometimes it doesn’t really look like it, it feels like some sort of manipulative traumatic tactic to actually hold her hostage even though he says he’s not.

it’s contradictory. just because everything went wrong with elle, which is WEIRD considering his whore phase doesn’t gives him the right to expect that much from reader. god, he’s a profiler. he might not be able to actually read minds but i’m pretty sure he’s perfectly capable of picking up clues with his IQ.

specially during her first fucking time with a man. how would he want her to tell him she loves him if she’s still soooooooo inexperienced? literally how? i feel bad for reading it this way but the andromeda chapter fucked me upppp. there were all sorts of theories going on my mind after i read it.

she knows nothing about relationships and is constantly put into the dangerous position of wanting to please him, he never forces her but it’s pretty obvious she TRIES. how is that not enough for him? and it’s not just the sex, he has always had her affection at his disposition (i say this according to the way she’s agreed to accept his invitations to events like the bar or film festivals, the way she’s constantly kissing him without being sexual and always asking for him).

nevertheless, i’m really excited to see how the series will be evolving as they go. every chapter comes up with something new and i love that we’re able to theorize about it. i just really hope we get a big apology from spencer because….

i’m keeping this one:

💐

thank u so much for taking the time to share ur thoughts!! I rlly appreciate it lovely!! and honestly i don’t think you’re alone in disliking dybmn spencer😭 he gets a lot of hate!!

me explaining stuff abt reid below👇 there are reasons for him being the way he is it’s not ALL inexcusable i promise!!

he is honestly probably more insecure than reader. one thing a lot of people have asked me is “how does it make sense for him to be so traumatized from what happened with elle and still have slept with a ton of women after” and honestly psychologically speaking it’s really not a reach that he would have done that! often when people are really insecure about themselves they seek reassurance and validation from other people, and sometimes they go about getting that validation through sex! i imagine since elle he’s never had a real committed romantic relationship and it’s all been very casual hookups, sometimes w the same people but never breaching into romance territory (don’t mention maeve idk if she’s canon or not in dybmn universe lol)

and I don’t think he’s holding her hostage, he just truly can’t imagine that she loves him back. and if you think about it he has every reason not to. his affection hasn’t been reciprocated or received well for most of his life (elle, his dad, his mom, jj (sorry for bringing up jeid)). even if you’re receiving all the input that someone likes you, if you hate yourself enough you’ll go to crazy lengths to not believe it.

i agree that it’s not super healthy, but he knows that! in my mind that’s actually why he told her on the phone that they didn’t feel the same way—he was trying to essentially be like hey girl you should know im pretty sure you don’t like me as much as i like you, and that’s fine, but if it makes you uncomfortable then we should talk about it because i don’t want you to feel like there are terms and conditions on our relationship that you didn’t understand.

also it might be helpful to realize that in some ways spencer really is not more experienced with romantic relationships than she is. he had a situationship with elle that never went anywhere and a bunch of hookups (and maybe maeve but even if that happened it was like a fake relationship lmao they were e dating and I don’t believe he really loved her but that’s a post for another day). but he doesn’t know how to exist in a healthy relationship with a partner who really cares for him any more than she does. most of dybmn is from readers perspective and she FEELS that he’s way more experienced but that experience is pretty much limited to sex which is obviously a big hang up for her so not surprising that she focuses on it so much and his experience seems so vast. but yeah romantically he is also a late bloomer and fairly stunted. he’s kinda figuring it all out for the first time just like she is!

so anyway that was me defending reid for four paragraphs!! but also maybe he’s just an asshole idk men suck why am I defending one of them

thank u again for giving me an excuse to talk abt this!!! ily

[dreaming-about-seireitei]

Re: the 'talk about for hours meme' -- "2. Certain fictional characters : from books or anime, I can give you full essays on them"

Could I have your full essays on Matsumoto and Shinji!! (Feel free to split into two posts if it's weird/too long to do them both in one, haha.)

OUH. MYGOD. This is what I have been waiting for. Yesssss I CAN. Also, I think I will split it into two separate posts, because I want to cover more aspects. So this will only be about Matsumoto Rangiku. But beware, you brought this upon yourself. It will be long af (roughly about 1900 words). I hope it all makes sense!

Also, everything I say is totally my opinion, the way I see them, and the "analysis" (nothing too formal) I made is based on anime only and/or maybe some spoilers (because I don't own any Bleach manga yet😭)

In the beginning, I need to mention that in my opinion (and as I mentioned in a previous post), she is actually a very humane, relatable and complex character. And this is why I like her so much. However, she is, most of the times, underappreciated.

So usually when people are talking about her, they get to mention her her physical appearance, which is normal and is what you do with everyone, but then something interesting happens.

When it comes to her personality, she is often viewed and portrayed as a shallow, superficial and unbothered woman. Kind of the standard beautiful but ignorant woman trope portrayed in most media.

But she is not just a plain character made to fill in some gaps and have a few lines. And while I agree she has a few flaws (that I'll talk about later), I feel like this portrayal of her couldn't be more wrong.

In actuality, she is a very well constructed character, that we subjectively misjudge, because we have certain expectations when we see an architype of fictional universes and forget to look past certain traits. And you might ask "Okay, dude, but what do you mean by that?" Well, let me explain.

But to get even deeper with how much of a complex character she is, as we go further along with the anime, we know that Gin leaves with Aizen. Even since then, we knew something was going on with those two, when he apologized to her. But as it was revealed later, Gin was her childhood friend, the one she even lived with for a while. The first person she ever loved from what I know (not sure if romantically or platonically, but love, none the less). Now, imagine how destroyed she must feel about him leaving with a man that betrayed, used and lied to everyone in their community without any explanation whatsoever. More so, imagine how worried she must be everyday for him, not ever knowing if he'll come back. Imagine how she has to live with this constantly in the back of her mind, and still be a good shinigami and fight with the fear that one day, she might have to fight him. The strength one has to have to be able to continue life with these realizations in mind, every day, without breaking once, is colossal. How mature you have to be adapt to this kind of situation so fast, even if you hate the reality this is bringing you in, is the proof of being not only very emotionally intelligent, but also intelligent overall. And not to mention how she carries this burden seemingly alone, because nobody seems to ever ask her if she's alright or care whatsoever for her problems, probably because of her optimistic, cheery personality.

Firstly, when we initially get to meet her, in the episode of Aizen's "death", we see her restraining Hinamori and getting her to jail, as a good lieutenant would do at the orders of her captain, right? But after that, we witness a conversation those two have, in which we can clearly see that Matsumoto does empathize with Hinamori, telling her she understands how frustrated she is, but she needs to think about her squad and priorities and to not make any allegations (when Hinamori was about to say she knew who "killed" Aizen).

In that small dialogue, we get to understand that not only, is Rangiku very levelheaded, but also she cares about Hinamori enough to tell her it is not her place to make those accusations and she lets to be understood that she will regret saying anything more, and tries to guide her to better priorities. She does everything in a serious, yet not necessarily harsh manner. She feels as many emotions as everyone about what just happened, and yet she thinks about what is best to be done and how to be efficient, while still empathizing with and not blaming Hinamori for anything. And she keeps that attitude towards her even later, in the fake Karakura Town arc, when Hinamori clearly calls Aizen "captain", but Rangiku still has an understanding, yet compassionate and worried attitude towards her (and to be honest, that is more than I would've had for her at that point). That already says so much about her character and moral compass.

Which brings me to the next point. We always see her as being this bright, obnoxious ray of sunshine. Party girl who likes to drink, sometimes a little too much (but I would too in her situation), who's everyone's friend. From hanging out, getting drunk with the boys, or being there for Hitsugaya (she was even the one who told him to be a shinigami in the first place, and made sure to make him understand it would be best for him to do so), to even having a heartfelt conversation with Orihime when she gets jealous and depressed. Rangiku is an optimistic, reliable person who you can have fun with and trust with your heart. But who's there for her the way she is there for others? Because I don't see her talking about any of her personal issues, besides this one exception with Hitsugaya once. So not only is she strong to keep herself composed and with the mind clear, ready to battle anytime, but she is also succeeding in doing so alone, with no support system (that I know of). So she has the power of continuing to battle for what is right and be there for everyone in a very enthusiastic way, with a broken heart that still has room for hope, and with an intelligent mind that still makes room for fun.

Now, everything I have mentioned so far are her positive traits. Of course, she wouldn't have been a very good constructed character if she didn't have any flaws. That's also what makes her even more relatable and humane. But what is again very interesting here, is that her flaws seem to be very much in contrast with her positive traits.

Also, talking about being ready for battle, there is one more point I need to add. Considering everything I mentioned earlier, we also need to talk about how good of a fighter and strategist (not to mention how strong willed) she is.

Remember: she had a portion of her soul stolen (at least that's what I understood) by Aizen! And if we are to recall the encounters she had with arrancars (and fights overall), we can surely say she had some interesting strategic moves, as well as some decent, interesting decisions in battle. So we can only imagine what kind of a fighter she would have become if she had her soul intact. All though I will not dive deeper into this (because I will have to rewatch all of her fights, and even then get into a subject that I'm really not good at), I can definitely say she is not a lieutenant for nothing. She is definitely a capable, devoted and loyal lieutenant, fighter and ally.

We can also see a similar circumstance with her shallow and vain demeanor whenever she talks about shopping and getting nice things. Because we need to remember she grew up poor! And not only that, but she was dying of starvation. When Gin found her, she was on the verge of death. And as she grew, like most kids in Rukongai, she had mostly nothing. So to one extend, I can really understand why, as an adult, she would prefer to spend her money as she likes without any reservations. I think it helps healing her inner child and can also be a coping mechanism that she developed along the years, to help cope with everything she goes through by herself.

When we think about her flaws, we picture in our minds her laziness and how conceited and vain she can be sometimes. We can also talk about how unbothered or easygoing she seems to be in many situations. And her drinking problem (which I am not going to talk about, because in my own balkan view, it doesn't really look like a problem, just that when she parties, she goes hard, and I would too and I get it).

But I found that her laziness is in strong contrast with her strong will to fight and how ready she is for battle anytime. Which is not something a lazy person will do. We have plenty of great characters that can be very intelligent and impressively created, but who are very lazy and find many things (such as fighting) as a "drag" or "nuisance". She could do the same, but she doesn't. Which leads me to believe that it's not laziness per se, it's most likely the boredom and uninteresting facade of doing chores like paperwork. And I see that as fitting to her, because she probably needs strong and intense sensations to fixate on something and not be distracted by her own mind (my opinion).

And even that, I think it really depends on how important her role would be as the responsible person in said situations. Because if you remember the flashbacks of her being a lieutenant under Kurosaki Isshin, she was the one who scolded him for not doing work. Of course, it wasn't like she was working anywhere near the amount Hitsugaya would, in any day, but still more than now. And I think that was exactly because someone had to. It was important for the captain to have someone who would nag him from time to time, so that's what she did. Just like how it is important for Hitsugaya to have a ray of sunshine to cheer him up and get him out of his sometimes-too-serious way.

And sure, she doesn't like being called "old", like most women, and she cares about her looks a lot, but I think that also comes from a place of not knowing or having the privilege of getting to care about those things as child. Which she finally has now, as an adult, and of course she takes advantage of that now and thinks about those things.

With all of this being said, I think the only conclusion here is that Matsumoto Rangiku is a strong, very reliable, smart woman with the emotional intelligence above many other characters (and people) that we get to see usually in fictional universes (or even real life). She is the kind of person I would love to have as a friend, and I wish I could have the honor of being there for her, because she deserves it. With a heart of gold and a personality brighter than the sun, Matsumoto Rangiku is the glue that holds so many things together and is one of the many needed pieces of our Bleach puzzle. And yes, she is also very hot and I would tap that.

And concomitantly, we see her seemingly self-absorbed personality that shows up from that to time and the contrast that makes with how much empathy and devotion she demonstrates.

This made me think of just the way we perceive people sometimes without having the full story on them. Because I think that it may be a misunderstanding of her character.

What I mean by this is that, maybe, we misunderstood those traits, and in reality is just her confidence. A lot of self confidence and care for one's self can be missinterpreted as shallowness if we either don't have the full story, or if that person is not slightly modest in admitting the good things about themselves. Which is an interesting way to see her, that would further demonstrate how cool she is (but considering this hypothesis is only that, a hypothesis, it might just be two contrasting traits she has, which either way, make her an interesting person).

Bonus: this is the song that always reminds me of her for some reason -

[annbourbon]

🖤 ✨ 🖤 ✨ Rika ✨ 🖤 ✨ 🖤

Let's start with Rika...

⚠️possible spoilers ahead, be warned⚠️

I can't believe I actually didn't realize that. I mean, I did it. Like 7 years ago, but I had no clue on how to explain it.

Besides it needs from Mystic Messenger Timeline *which I'm still working on, and trying to finish* to actually make sense.

Disclaimer: Please take into account that whatever I say here, it's only my opinion after playing the game so many years. I'm not a psychiatrist or a psychologist, or therapist of any kind. I'm just a writer, who loves to spend time analysing characters and stories.

I did asked to my mom to help me with this and the other characters because of how difficult the task ahead of me was. My mom, who is an actual therapist, did her best to help me, but I did most of the analysis here, since I'm the one who knows the in's and outs of this game. Besides, I did my research and I'll make sure to quote it! So give it a chance and keep reading even if you disagree with me. And then, I'd love to read your thoughts on the topic 💕

Narcissus. Also known as daffodil.

Should I talk to you about the dark side of the flowers and tie it to MM characters?? Anyways, Rika is a narcissistic. But also has a profound trauma. One doesn't exclude the other. Here's a quote from Mayo Clinic:

«Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental health condition in which people have an unreasonably high sense of their own importance. They need and seek too much attention and want people to admire them. People with this disorder may lack the ability to understand or care about the feelings of others. But behind this mask of extreme confidence, they are not sure of their self-worth and are easily upset by the slightest criticism.»

Causes: The cause is likely complex. Narcissistic personality disorder may be linked to:

Environment — parent-child relationships with either too much adoration or too much criticism that don't match the child's actual experiences and achievements.

There are other two, that are genetic, and neurobiology causes, but I'll be focusing more on the environment, which let's be honest, it's what is displayed on the game. If you're interested on reading more about it, there's a link before the quote and, on References, I'll also be leaving every single link.

So let's go back to Rika and please read the next three images while remembering how's her relationship with V, and Saeran. Sometimes even with MC, and Mika.

As you can see...

Attention:

* Creates the RFA. Receives attention.

* Creates Mint Eye. Receives attention.

* Says V is her Sun.

* As soon as she gets tired, says V's killing her and wants to leave

* Wants to mix RFA and Mint Eye. I assume is because despite everything, she feels like she's losing attention on everything she created. And MC is the reason of that too.

They don't choose losers:

V is a millionaire

Jumin is a millionaire

Zen is super sexy and hot

Jaehee and the twins are really smart

Do I need to keep going? Even Elizabeth the 3rd is one of the most beautiful cats ever seen.

Grooming:

Here's the part that keeps bothering me because I realized about it before I could actually explain what it was going on. Seven years ago I decided to play the game, and I finished feeling a bit too weird on how everyone was so infatuated with Rika... it wasn't any other person that just dies and then the group dies too. It was still active two years after losing her (?) Even though they have only know each other for... 4 to 6 years?

Some even less. Like Jaehee. Which randomly brings me to: She's an ENFJ so she does focus on details like Jaehee (Jaehee might be ISFJ, ISTJ or even ESFJ considering how well she manages around people too. But that's another story.) Her enneagram is probably 1.

I can understand Yoosung, but... you know what I mean. It was weird. And once I reached the first VN novel about V and Rika I felt even more weirded out by these two.

I don't think I can pinpoint it but I felt like Rika was manipulating V so I was surprised when I realized some members were tying these two as lovers and a beautiful couple. Do you guys remember V being surprised by Rika quoting "The Sun is the mother of all"?? Yeah... Even back then, for me it was a highlight of how messed up their relationship was. But again, I couldn't exactly pinpoint it. Until, now.

After Cheritz released Another Story, and Rika DLC, many of my theories came true. But still in a disorganized way. Which is why I created The Mystic Messenger Timeline.

I did confirmed one thing:

Rika is a narcissist and V is a people pleaser (that doesn't make him any less villainous of what he is, but I'll explain once we'll reach his profile. I promise.) at least at the very beginning of this story.

She probably has psychopatic tendencies

She definitely has sadistic and abusive tendencies: I have a hard time putting through her whole behavior during Saeran's Route and especially during his AE. But she takes pleasure in hurting others. V, Saeran, MC, Mint Eye associates, etc.

A bit of One on the Enneagram:

It is called The Reformer.

Because Ones have a “sense of mission” that leads them to want to improve the world in various ways, using whatever degree of influence they have. They strive to overcome adversity—particularly moral adversity—so that the human spirit can shine through and make a difference. They strive after “higher values,” even at the cost of great personal sacrifice.

If you think I'm too far off, then please check the levels of healthy and unhealthy Ones can have. They sure ring a bit too much for me on Rika's behavior. From Level 1 to 9, we can see her evolution during the game. But here you have a couple of her worse traits.

Unhealthy Levels

Level 7: Can be highly dogmatic, self-righteous, intolerant, and inflexible. Begin dealing in absolutes: they alone know "The Truth." Everyone else is wrong: very severe in judgments, while rationalizing own actions.

Level 8: Become obsessive about imperfection and the wrongdoing of others, although they may fall into contradictory actions, hypocritically doing the opposite of what they preach.

Level 9: Become condemnatory toward others, punitive and cruel to rid themselves of wrongdoers. Severe depressions, nervous breakdowns, and suicide attempts are likely. Generally corresponds to the Obsessive-Compulsive and Depressive personality disorders

If you want to know more about this, check this.

So, why do you (player) like Rika as character?

Because it's okay, I know people who actually like Rika. I don't, but I definitely don't hate her either...

You don't need to be worried about it as long as you know what she did was wrong. That's it. Now, why do you like her/identify with her?

Things that might, or not, ring a bell:

* Trauma: Rika has a traumatic past. And you might feel like it's a mirror of your past. Hence identifying with it might not be something difficult. Of course this doesn't mean you are leader of some religious cult.

* Her willingness to fight despite having everything at odds. Let's not forget that before she goes nuts and starts brainwashing people, she did a lot of great deeds. Tried to stay positive and all that.

* Her kindness (we can discuss over certain things, but as much as she did terrible things, she also did amazing things, like creating the RFA to help people. Wether she did it with a certain master plan in mind or not, she did helped as much as she hurt and that's the important part.)

* She's just a great villain! It might be hard to understand for some people but you actually just look at her character as what it is, a character, and you're impressed by how many discussions and hot debates she brings onto the table. Understandable!

* Her flower means forgiveness♡

Do you have any other ideas for why you might like Rika? I'd be happy to read them. 💕

Also, this might be one of my last post about her. Might not be the last but I do need to finish with the Mystic Messenger Timeline, and I will but I don't think I have a lot more material to write about. So thank you for sticking with me all this time! I'm linking the main post on MysMe theories I have, I still need to finish tying up all nicely. But we're coming to the end. I'm definitely talking about trauma, coping mechanisms, parenthood, childhood and societal pressures but it'll be in other posts, possibly not even linking them to this one. Who knows? Stay tuned~!

References:

Mayo Clinic - Narcissistic Disorder Personality

Between Narcissistic & People pleaser

Medium - Beware a narcissist with a hero complex

Paired Life - Hero & Narcissist

Enneagram Institute - One

[neitherabaron]

just wanted to ask because i thought the answer might be interesting— what’s been the hardest part of working on the death of byron von raum (and/or any other projects!) so far? and conversely, what’s been your favorite part?

thanks!! hope you’re having a good day :-)

TW: Mental health

I'm gonna try and give you an in-depth answer because I'm super aware that it's been a long time since I provided any real updates on Byron. Your question's very apt because there are things about the project that I absolutely love, and others that I'm really struggling with.

To start with the good stuff - my favourite part by far is the music. I really believe in these songs and the ones I've written so far are killers. There's one about Byron's childhood sung by his parent. It's got an ostinato on violin (and maybe Uillean pipes? budget depending) that runs through it and evenually builds into a sweeping instrumental section with a chord progression I'm a little bit in love with. And the standout song is the one that probably would have been Marius' signature song with the Mechs if we'd gone in that direction back in the day.

But on the other hand, it is very, very difficult for me to work on Byron right now. For a while now I've been searching for the right way to explain that even though I believe in the project, it's not coming anytime soon because of that.

The thing is, the story is bleak. Way, way beyond Mechanisms-bleak. Like, I don't know how it will be recieved by other people beyond the friends I've shared it with, but it's bleak enough that I actually find it really distressing. Somehow I've written a story that pushes almost every one of my triggers and speaks to everything that personally frightens me.

But it's absolutely Marius' story. I can't change it and try to keep it light - everything that can go wrong for these characters has to, must go wrong. I care about them and they start with so little and they lose everything and they're awful to each other in between.

I still work on it, but I have to handle it and myself with care, so there's no timeline or work schedule I'm keeping on it right now. When I have a good idea, I sit and write for an hour if I can. But (and I've mentioned this on my Tumblr in the past without naming the project) every time I do that, I have a panic attack, and I'm on edge for the next 24 hours after. Always. I want this story to exist, but at the moment I don't want to put myself through the experience of making it. It's just me and I have nobody else to back me up. The Mechanisms covered some upsetting stuff sometimes, but we had friendship and support and camaraderie. To make this story happen, it'd probably need to be the main thing I do for about a year. And I don't think I can do that as long as the plot and themes are affecting me like this.

I think I'd also need the plot and characters to have more nuance than I'm likely able to convey in a Mechanisms-adjacent song-narration-song album format. I think I've mentioned in the past that I don't think it's a particularly effective way to convey complex themes, but some elements of the plot demand a deep look at the characters, because they do some truly horrible things and we need to see what brings good people to that point. So if I reach an emotional place where I can work full-time on Byron, I'll probably explore other ways to tell the story. One possibility is doing it as a mini-series with a song in every episode, so I can explore the characters through dialogue. An episodic release might give me a way to work through it at my own pace while looking after myself, I don't know.

I also have to be honest, when I started work properly in January 2020, the world felt like a very different place. With everything that's going on in the world right now, things I couldn't have imagined back then, I don't know the extent to which this story qualifies as entertainment anymore. Would I feel comfortable putting out this story full of war and horror and misery and saying it's a fun thing for people to enjoy?

To tell the truth, I don't think I want to make upsetting things at the moment. I just did Rat-tailed Rover and had a blast. I need to have some surgeries done on my abdomen before I'll be ready to go again, and there's no timer on that, but Carnaval des Gobelins is fully written and ready to record once I'm recovered. And I have so many ideas after that, that I really think I could go as long as people care to listen. I'm having so much fun and getting so much artistic satisfaction writing songs about rat paladins and gay goblins and I'm not giving myself panic attacks doing it. I'm aware that's probably not what some people were hoping to hear re: an update on Byron, but right now I feel like I'd rather make you wonderful people smile, laugh and feel represented than present you with a really bleak story where I make a character you care about suffer over and over again.

Anyone who's been following me here or on Twitter will know that I love Byron, I adore Marius, and I value my time and friendships shared with the Mechanisms beyond anything I've ever done. That's part of who I am. The goodwill of my listeners and the Mechs fandom means the world to me. So this is not me saying that The Death of Byron von Raum isn't coming. But I haven't figured out yet how to deliver it in a way that keeps me mentally and emotionally safe and happy. I don't know when that will be, except that it isn't now. In the meantime, I'm going to throw myself into Carnaval des Gobelins (well, as soon as I've finally had my op - it's been a year and counting) and I'm gonna give you the ten best songs about folklore monsters you've ever heard. And I'll keep it up as long as you're there to listen. Thank you x

[oriley42]

Tl;dr: here's the chart I made, react at your own time if you'd like<3, sorry for the bible below.

Hello again legend, I present to you my magnum opus relationship chart, updated to where I reached when I started it which was about early-mid s7 (I now finished) and therefore does not feature Park or Addams.

You can probably tell which parts might be inspired by your fics (the og ducklings polycule, House and Wilson married, Cuddy and frankly any woman, 13 and Amber etc), which parts are rooted in canon (Cuddy and House, Taub and Rachel, 13 and Foreman etc) and which parts are fully just me going ham (some friendships and ships with people who never met in canon, some of them sharing homes oops).

I would absolutely love to read a live reaction from you on stuff you agree and disagree with and what makes no sense to you because I honestly think your brain is huge as far as dynamics go. Feel free to add anything you can see I blatantly missed, I for sure didn't include everything here.

I know most of your fics don't venture outside of the earlier seasons regarding characters and dynamics but I've been having brainrot about the whole lot of them, I have loads of headcanons regarding the chart:

- It took Foreman a long time to give up his house but because he literally cannot do casual relationships and is hardcore married to 3 people and dating 13 he just sleeps wherever

- Kutner and Masters have a crazy bonding arc that ends with them sharing a house and they balance each other out

- Stacy and Cameron used to fuck over shared weird ass relationship with House

Anyway seriously ama I can explain everything even why Lin Manuel Miranda's character made it to the magnum opus I'm being so fr

No pressure at all to respond unless this brings you equal brainrot, at your leisure boss

Wahoo! This is so cool! I’ve only seen charts like these occasionally, and never gotten a chance to really dive in. I love how this visualizes the complex network of relationships and their nuances, and crystallizes a particular snapshot of them. And I’m so flattered that my stories could play a role in how you imagine these relationships! I do tend to favor the early seasons, so this is a good chance to think about the later fellows as well, who I also love <3 (Will attempt to put my response under a read-more...if I can figure out how these work...)

Starting with Foreman: I love how he’s his own big nexus! The show has such intense main character syndrome with House, but I totally agree with how you’ve framed Foreman and Thirteen as other key spokes in the bonkers wheel of toxic polycule-ism that is PPTH. Foreman wants to be a responsible homeowner but he’s got marriages all over town! And really he’s married to his job! How’s a guy supposed to manage a mortgage situation like that? 😅 Foreman and Kutner (I almost just misspelled his name as Kuntner, which, honestly…serve) didn’t really get to do much together in canon, and I love to imagine them getting to have a relationship of their own, not just in the context of PPTH. Would they chill and play video games, and it would be a chance for Foreman to just be a person, instead of A Doctor? Would he get to enjoy Kutner’s laid back nature, but because they keep things casual, he doesn’t have to deal with the stuff that would absolutely drive his ordered mind crazy—you know he wouldn’t stand for a fridge that’s empty except for a jar of mustard and one (1) liter of Mountain Dew. Also I can’t believe I forgot about that plot point that Taub roomed with Foreman, oh my god. Yes. And Foreman and Rachel Taub secret pals? Delish!

Thirteen has pulled every young, gorgeous, eligible person in her orbit, as she should. Sampled all the flavors, as it were. Except C&C—I agree, she doesn’t vibe with the blonde twins, especially as a set, though I think there could be something interesting in the whole ‘Thirteen is House’s metaphorical daughter’ vibe that Cameron would just go apeshit over. ‘Oh, it’s House, but he’s a hot, impressionable young girl who’s also dying?!’ ß catnip for that messed up gal! (Sidebar: I am fighting for my life every time I try to make Cameron sapphic because that actress simply reads as unbearably het to me. It took everything I had to write explicit Cuddy/Cameron. I’m so sorry to all the lesbian!Cam truthers out there, you’re stronger than I! Especially considering Jennifer went on to be half of such a powerhouse WLW ship on OUAT…I don’t know why, but the only kind of queer for her that really works in my head is aro-ace. That girl just wants to save lives, she doesn’t have time for any other nonsense!) On that note, love the idea that Cameron/Stacy had a thing. Go girls, the best way to get over House is to get under someone else (who also wants to fuck him!) Cuddy/Amber is galaxy brain, god, let these powerful yet deeply insecure and structurally maligned women try to step on each other, fail, and fuck nasty about it 😭 I’m also glad you fit sweet little Masters in, I’ve only written her as a cameo because s7 is so…Like That…but she’s delightful and deserves the (intimate) attentions of beautiful and terrifying women such as Thirteen and Amber. And Kutner & Masters friendship, what a delight that would be! I think they would both bring eldest sibling energy to it that would turn out to complement one another, as Kutner shows her the ropes of having fun and learning when to bend the rules, and she can help him buckle down and connect with the times when the rules are actually important to follow. Kutner was always the youngin’, so he didn’t get to mentor anybody, and he should have gotten that chance!!

I think Cuddy and Wilson have a Something…that cannot be defined. Is it sexual, platonic, friendly, familial? Are they besties, are they both just good at being social, are they bonded primarily over their UST for House, would they have been the world’s most perfect Lavender Marriage??? (Which raises the point of kids, yikes! That would need to be a whole other chart, of kids had, imagined, and desired…) Similarly, canon implies that Wilson and Stacy are good friends and have been for quite a while (though we don’t get to see it enough!) and I always wonder how that went for James ‘Trips Over Friendship Into Marriage’ Wilson. Was his friendship like Stacy like his relationship with Cuddy? Are they surface level friends who really bonded over House—or over the kinds of things that draw them to someone like House, e.g. the dark unspoken desires they both paper over in their pursuit of appearing “normal”? Maybe it’s like what Bonnie said, if she’d slept with Wilson right away, she could have gotten over him…maybe Wilson slept with Cuddy and/or Stacy and they were like ‘that was fine, but what if we just did brunch once a month and gossiped instead.’

I agree that Cuddy should have gotten to keep Lucas, like a pet. He was delightful! House Lite, a little scamp, but one who could be kind and relied upon when it was important. And totally agree that House should get to keep Alvie, that musical theater freak helped him keep it together in one of the worst times of his life! Those episodes of s6 are a fever dream that I wouldn’t trade for the world. House needs his emotional support boy best friend (there’s that one post that says without Wilson, House flees to the nearest manlet…so real.) It’s so natural, then, for the two manlets to bond. Lucas and Alvie have killer karaoke sessions together that are as humiliating to witness as they are incredible to experience.

Thank you for sharing this inspiring chart (and for referring to me like I’m a mafia don, it makes me feel so butch and famous) 😎🥰 Please do reblog or reply if any of this stream of consciousness sparks clarifications/questions/additions!

[lieblingspulli]

Sunset Tears: SKZ

W/c: 2.4k 

Hyunjin x Fem Reader

Summary: Confessing your feelings to someone is super duper, incredibly, terribly hard. Especially when that person is a blockhead and literally does not have a brain. 

A/N: I’m not even going to lie to you, the Howl’s Moving Castle soundtrack heavily inspired me for this one. Especially the song: You’re in Love even though it's like a minute long. Also the songs, Here with Me by d4vd and Let You Break My Heart Again by Laufey. Yes, I know, it's so sappy haha. Enjoy! 

*Use of some profanity, not excessive. 

Masterlist!

SKZ Masterlist

“Yah! Hwang Hyunjin!” 

The poor man nearly fell out of his seat as you yelled at the top of your lungs. 

“How could you forget our date?” You entered the apartment and didn’t even bother to kick off your shoes like he preferred you to. Hyunjin looked up at you with bewildered eyes. Then, the realization hit him. 

“Wait- I can explain-”

“You don’t have to explain anything to me, Hyunjin. You left me at the park entrance for an hour. I thought you were coming!” You were almost yelling. He quickly got up and tried to reach for you but was denied when you turned your back on him. 

“Forget it. I’m going home. You’re lucky I even came here.” 

“Wait, Y/N-”

“No Hyunjin. I just need to go.” You locked eyes with him and hoped that your depressing face would at least hurt his feelings a little. He stood in disbelief, almost unsure how to react to the whole thing. Quickly turning, you muttered, “I can’t believe you,” and slammed the door behind you, leaving Hyunjin speechless and frankly upset too. 

Thinking back, all those moments you waited for him were pointless. The way you stood outside like an idiot for an hour today, showing up way too early to his concerts, giving him unnecessary things like paint and pictures. All of it was a waste. You had been trying so hard to show him you had feelings for him ever since he stated that he liked when people showed their feelings in actions. Well, too bad he was a literal blockhead. 

You sighed and continued your walk out of his apartment complex. You weren’t sure if you were glad or angry that he didn’t follow you out. For a brief moment, you considered calling someone but the thing was- Hyunjin was your best friend. 

All you wanted at that moment was to tell him how you felt. You felt hot, stinging tears threaten to fall from your eyes and a heavy lump in your throat. You felt embarrassment at even trying to go for a guy like him. He was perfect in every way.

 Even though he always complained about being “bitchless” and “having no game,” he still attracted so many people. You laughed at the memory of Hyunjin sprawling on the grass at the park and uttering those words. He was handsome, creative, so empathetic to your struggles, he made an effort to know everything about you and even came to you when he struggled. Endless efforts seemed to be wasted for a girl like you. You felt average. What could you give to your best friend that he didn’t already have? Right now, it seemed like he had rocks for brains so maybe that, but otherwise- he had everything he could ever want. You wiped your tears away and sped up your pace, hoping that you could reach your apartment before nightfall. 

Today was supposed to be your picnic at the park with him, but you had waited at the agreed meeting spot for over an hour before deciding to call it quits. He agreed to bring paints and paint with you at sunset, but he never showed. And it wasn’t his first time bailing out on you too. You were just about done with it all. This made you angrily stomp up the stairs. 

The sun continued to dip under the skyline as you made it to your front door. Living on the top of a building, you could see the entire city skyline spread out before you. Hyunjin once mentioned he loved this view and really wanted to paint it sometime, to which you suggested the picnic and he had happily agreed.

 You stopped to watch the sunset as you thought of all the times you made the effort to show him you really cared. Leaning on the rail, you watched the vibrant hues of pink and orange highlight the sky then turn into deeper shades of violet and blue. The rate of this transformation comforted you, reminding you that things change and life goes on. Feeling a little less shitty, you unlocked your front door and dropped all your stuff next to your bed. At least your bed would always be there for you. 

-

You must have fallen asleep, you realized as you woke up. Your head felt heavy and your throat was swollen from crying. Loud bangs on your door reminded you why you even woke up in the first place. Ughhhhh. You thought of the fact that you had work tomorrow. Even though your boss might get mad, you resolved to just call off. More loud bangs. 

“Hold on, I’m coming!” You managed to yell before shivering and pulling on your thickest hoodie. You almost tripped on the picnic basket on your way to the door. 

You peeked out the door peephole. It was that asshole. Oh my god. 

Without even opening the door, you yelled, “What are you doing here at..” You looked at the clock. “Hyunjin, it's 3 in the damn morning!” You continued to observe him through the peephole. 

“I know, I’m so sorry Y/n. I came to apologize.” He seemed to be holding a convenience store bag in his hands as he shifted his weight nervously from one leg to another one. You took him all in. His hair was disheveled. He seemed out of breath. His hoodie was wrinkly. He was gripping his phone and a flashlight in one hand, and the bag in another. He just looked worried. You sighed and repressed that lump in your throat again. You spoke again. “Hwang, you better have a good reason to show up at my door at 3 in the morning.” You struggled to get out the last words, tears threatening to ruin your voice. Clearly, you were not handling this very well. Hyunjin thought carefully before speaking again. 

“Y/n. I am so sorry. Can you open the door? I just want to talk about this.” He stared at the sky and took a deep breath. “I’m such an asshole, but can you please just give me like a minute?” You closed your eyes and banged your head on the door. Hyunjin jumped from the sound.

“Y/n? Are you okay?” He took a step closer to the door. 

You swung the door open and hugged yourself, leaving him to continue what he was saying. 

To your surprise and some would even call horror, Hyunjin set down the things he was carrying and got down on his knees. “Hyunjin- wait-” You reached out and he put a hand up to stop you. “No, I am doing this and you can’t stop me.” He dramatically said. 

“Oh my god, you’re crazy.” 

“I know.” He chuckled and settled onto the heels of his feet. 

“Y/n, I am so very sorry I hurt you. I didn’t mean to leave you by yourself. I didn’t know how much that would hurt you and I never want you to feel like that again. I brought you your favorite green tea in hopes that you would accept my apology.” He looked up at you with puppy eyes. The tip of his nose was red from the cold. 

“Hyunjin, this is ridiculous. Please get up.” You retorted. 

“Not until you reply to my apology.” He firmly held his position. 

You shivered. “At least come inside. It’s so cold out here,” You tried to entice him. Despite his firm position, Hyunjin immediately grabbed his items, got up and ran through the door. You just scoffed,closed the door behind you and turned on the bedroom lamp. Hyunjin stood awkwardly, not knowing whether to put the bag down or to hold it. You gestured to the table and he gently placed it down. 

You both stared at each other, not knowing who should speak first.  “Hyunjin-” 

“Y/n-” He laughed and scratched his head. You just sat down on your messed up bed and blushed. You hated how he still got you worked up, even after messing with your feelings. You hated how inconsiderate he was, even though he had no idea what he did to you. 

“You go first.” He flatly said. You were unsure of what to say. 

“I don’t really know how to say this but what you did hurt my feelings Hyunjin,” you started softly. With a deep breath to keep the tears at bay, you continued. “You’re so confusing. You say you like actions and acts of dedication, but when I do it, it seems like you are blind.” A couple seconds of silence. “I always put so much effort into seeing you. You’re so important to me, I don’t know how else to say it.” You stared at your cat socks. Suddenly you were blushing and the floor was much more interesting than his face. 

“Y/n?” Hyunjin whispered. You looked at him, searching for anything in his expression. All you got was confusion staring back at you. 

“First of all, discounting the emotional implications- how could you leave me out there multiple times?” You struggled to find the words that screamed, how could you not care about me that much? How could you? You wiped a tear away. Hyunjin reached up to wipe it away for you but he refrained. 

“I’m so sorry Y/n. I don’t know what came over me. You are so important to me. I’ll never do it again, I promise.” His answer didn’t satisfy you. How could he be so thickheaded? How could he blatantly ignore your feelings? You wanted to scream. Men. 

“Can you say anything else than I’m sorry?” You whispered at him. He took a step towards you. 

“Y/n, I-” He caught himself before continuing. 

“You really must be stupid then.” You scoffed and covered your mouth with your palm in disbelief. Hyunjin dropped his gaze and stared at his face. 

“Y/n, I thought you liked someone else. I didn’t show up because I was overthinking about how you could possibly still hang out with someone like me.” He raised his head and searched your eyes. You laughed and cried. 

“Hyunjin, you’re so stupid.” Laughter took over your body. Hyunjin was very confused by this yet he continued. 

“I thought you liked Felix! I was jealous,” He pouted. “I really was pitying myself Y/n. I thought I lost you!” He frantically tried explaining. You just groaned. 

“Oh my god Hyunjin, you actually have rocks for brains! I like you! Dare I say, even I love you.” You stood up and faced him. There was a strange feeling in your stomach. Whether it was nervousness, fear or excitement, you couldn’t tell. “Hwang Hyunjin, why do you think I waited for a whole hour? I showed up to your concerts and held up ridiculous Hyunjin signs! I organized a paint and picnic sunset date for god sake!” You emphasized. He was at a loss for words. Your face felt hot from blushing and being angry at the same time. His ears got red as he connected the dots. 

“Wait, so you don’t like Felix?” He questioned you. You sighed in annoyance. 

“No, Hyunjin. I do not like Felix.” You chuckled and shook your head. A smile quickly formed on his face. 

“So that means? -” 

“Yes, Hyunjin. I like you. I always have. And probably always will.” You looked at him expectedly. He covered his face, probably from the embarrassment of this whole misunderstanding. You peeled his hands back. 

“Can I hug you?” You softly asked. It was almost like begging. He gazed at you softly and nodded. The impact from the two of you crashing together nearly took your breath away. 

“I’ve been waiting for this for so long,” you whispered. 

“Me too.” He said, his voice muffled by your hair. He squeezed you and you felt his chest contract. Was he crying? 

“Please tell me you like me back. I said it like twice,” you laughed into his chest and rubbed his back to comfort him. 

“I am so incredibly sorry Y/n. I spent so long pitying myself, I didn’t realize that you were showing me this whole time.” He sniffled. “Of course I like you. I’ll always like you, even more than Felix could ever like you.” You laughed and sniffed back tears. 

“You’re ridiculous. Oh my gosh.” He pulled away and smiled through his tears. You caressed his face and wiped a tear away. “Always for the theatrics now, aren’t we?” You smiled and he nodded. 

“I can’t help it. The woman I love said she likes me back.” 

“Hey, I said it first, so technically you said you liked me back.” You continued to gently hold his cheek. He leaned into your hand and kissed your palm. 

“Hyunjin?” 

“Yea?” 

“I forgive you.”

“Thanks.” He laughed and sniffled again. “Can I kiss you?” he whispered, as if someone might hear. 

“Yea you big baby. Kiss me” You quickly responded before leaning in. 

The moment his lips met yours, you knew he always liked you. You knew he had been waiting for this all along. You felt the softness of his lips and the way he was so gentle with yours. You felt his emotion and desperate hope that you would return his feelings. You leaned in and wrapped your arms around his neck, almost knocking him over. He smiled and held you strongly, happy to oblige the deeper kiss. All the pent up frustration left you as you held your eyes closed and smiled into his kiss. He pulled away, breathless, and said, “I love you Y/n. You don’t have to say it back right now but I want you to know I really do.” He leaned his forehead against yours. 

“I love you too. Just don’t ever leave me high and dry like that again.” You sternly said. With a devilish grin, he attacked your lips with his, ready to never let you go. You were content to oblige. 

[missbeautyandherbeast]

Ways to My Heart

Donatello X Reader

Summary: Request: Originally based on “Ways to Break My Heart” by Ed Sheeran but it got healthier

A/n: Apparently I appear every Christmas and rewrite an old prompt. And now that I'm older and healthier, it's kinda fun. And y'all were right, we're not about to be a rebound. So, for my dear @witchancunin, I hope you don't mind that it's been four years.

Autumn was settling in. With the wave after wave of rain that we had, there were little colors to the dying trees. Some scientific reason about fungi and decay. Donnie had explained it, but I barely payed attention. 

Not that I wasn’t paying attention to him: I was too focused. We were working on a new lego set and I had one to many to drink to pit the small plastic pieces together so he took over and his fingers though larger than mine, were so nimble and they pursued the legos with ease as he assembled a BD-1 droid: my present to him after we finished The Fallen Order together. 

The thought of us playing made me smile. I played through most of the game, getting my Star Wars fix, but when it became too difficult, I’d get so frustrated and Donnie would laugh and take the controller from me and defeat whatever stood in my way. I loved and hated him for it. 

But that didn’t change the fact that New York was wet and colorless.

I took the hidden alley, now slick with today’s chilled rain, and followed the path down to his home and the warmth it offered. And when winter came and I missed the heat of my hometown—which was safe and sound in the middle of Georgia—four brothers did their best to keep me temperate: Mikey was all hugs; Raphael actually knitted me a sweater last winter (yes it was purple, no I don’t want to talk about it); Leo let me invade his space now and again if he was meditating; and Donnie… well there was no place warmer than his lab. Between the tech and the constant blush he knew how to get on my face and down my neck… it was where I spent most of my time. 

“Still no color,” I sighed, shrugging off my coat and hanging it in my usual spot by his door. 

“I told you there wouldn’t bet be,” His eyes flashed to mine before returning to his project. 

“A girl can dream,” A smile touched my lips as I wandered over to see what he was working on. 

In front of him was a circuit board and he was soldering wires to the metal with such precision. I left him to it, having no idea the plans in his head of creation, and I found my book on one of his other work stations. Picking it up, I resumed reading—a romance novel I let myself indulge in now and again when I was over stressed. This one was about chess and it was set in Jersey, which I found hysterical. 

I must have made a sound, or a face, or some sort of tell because I heard his voice pulling me from the fictional world. 

“What did Nolan do now?” Donnie asked, pushing back from his desk and over to where I was curled up. 

“Not Nolan,” the story’s main guy. “It’s Oz. He’s definitely telling off Mallory right now,” 

“Oooo what did she do?” I had his full attention. And it wasn’t the first time. He insisted that every time I read a book I tell him about it, despite the many insistings that he read them himself. 

“I like your perspective,” He told me once. “Books are dull, dry, but you bring them alive,” 

So, I launched into the tale, weaving the complexities of the plot with my words and gestures, the poor book being waved around. And all the while his eyes stayed on mine, and he gave the softest smile that belonged to only me. 

He always kept me warm. 

When it go late enough, and we had joined his family in having pizza and watching tv (we were currently going through the newer She-Ra on Netflix), I had to trek back out into the cold. 

“Let me take you home,” Donnie piped up, seeing me get my coat and boots. 

“I’m a big girl, I can handle it,” I rolled my eyes. 

“I know,” He said with such certainty. “Let me do it anyway.” There was that warmth again. 

“Okay,” 

Raph gave me a knowing look but I ignored him. 

And like greeting an old friend, we had our routine. Donnie would stay, and we’d curl up on my couch and watch old reruns of Doctor Who until we were both asleep in the comfort of my apartment. 

And it was warm. 

……………………………….

Then April came. 

And God it was so nice to have a friend who was in on the secret. We explored New York together, had movie nights, and so many girl talks that may have involved some alcohol. 

But it meant I had to watch Donnie fall head over heels for her—from my usual spot in his lab, as he showed her all of his projects, chattering happily. 

I told myself it didn’t bother me. And it didn’t. 

Sorta. 

Maybe? 

Shut up. 

Hiding it from Donnie was easy. Hiding it from the rest of his family? Not so much. 

“You okay kid?” Raph asked, standing beside me as Donnie explained the entire Shell-Razer to April. 

“Why wouldn’t I be?” My voice was low. 

“Because my brother’s an ass,” 

I laughed humorlessly. “We weren’t together Raph.” A shrug fell from my shoulders as I wrapped my arms around myself, trying to fight off the lingering chill. “It’s fine. I’m—fine.” 

It was a few weeks later that I came to the lair; always having an excuse to not accompany April. I could see it in her eyes that she knew something was up, but she didn’t call me out on it—yet. 

“Miss Y/n,” Splinter stopped me as I entered. 

“Master Splinter,” I gave a small head nod. 

“Let’s talk child,” His words caught me off guard. 

“Um. Okay,” I followed him to the meditation room that was lit softly with sparse candles. 

“You have not been coming around as often.” It was a statement. Not a question. 

“Yeah,” I knew no excuse would work on the old master, and the father of four boys. 

“Is everything alright?” He rose an eyebrow and I gave a feeble lie: 

“Yeah,” 

He nodded. “Let’s try that again. Everything is not alright.” 

Tears glossed my vision and the familiar pain flooded my chest like ice. I tilted my chin back, holding my head high. 

“Master, there’s nothing I can do.” I opened my mouth to continue trying to find the courage. “I care deeply for him,” My eyes trained on a candle flame. “But I never told him and… that’s my consequence to live with,” 

“I see,” His wise voice held so much understanding that it washed over me. “And because of that choice, you do not come around as often?” 

“It hurts less,” That was the simple fact. “I don’t have to watch him…” 

“Chase after April?” Splinter filled in knowing. 

“Yeah.” 

He nodded. “Perhaps you and April should talk,” 

“Look, I don’t—“ 

“Y/n,” He cut me off and I pursed my lips. “April is your best friend, and I have a feeling she wants to help you,” 

“I know,” He was right, and maybe hearing git gave me the courage to say something after all. A smile touched my lips. “Thanks Sensei.” 

“I care about my family,” He said. “And that includes my daughters,” 

Tears stung my eyes again as he gave me a hug. 

“Thank you,” 

“Of course, child,” 

……………………………………….

April and I did sit down and talk. More of she called me out on moping and avoiding the subject. So, we sat on our fire escape and talked. About everything. 

She knew when she first got there that there was something going on between Donnie and me. And though she loved the brothers, she didn’t like Donnie that way. She also knew that was the reason I was avoiding going to the lair. 

“I’m sorry,” She said. 

“For what?” I almost laughed. 

“Because, before I came, there would have been no doubt that you and Donnie would be together by now,” 

“Hey I wouldn’t trade you for anything,” I smiled. “And if… if Donnie wants to be… whatever the heck this is, I can handle it.” 

“But you shouldn’t have to,” April said. “I want you to be happy Y/n. And I want you back at the lair. I… I just want you to have your life back,” 

“It wouldn’t be as fun without you.” 

“I know,” She laughed. “But I am going to talk to Donnie,” She must have seen the horror on my face. “Not about you! God no! But I’m gonna tell him that I don’t feel that way about him, and hopefully he gets the message,” 

I nodded. “Thanks April,” 

When April had told me that Donnie took their talk semi-well, I still gave it a few weeks before I headed to the lair, not wanting to have to pick up the aftermath of his shattered fantasy. 

With end of Spring, I had my family back. 

There was a cool distance between Donnie and I that was slowly thawing until I was back in his lab reading and he was fidgeting with his tools. It took another week for him to ask me about my book. And another week for him to take me home. And a few more days for his smile to be back. And a couple more for mine to stay. I wrestled with what had happened in the winter and spring, trying to look for the other shoe to drop. 

But when the six of us played a board game, or watched movies or even had dinner, all that was felt was camaraderie. Donnie didn’t notice April anymore and he backed down. Raph kept a careful eye just like I did. When he caught my stare, Raph rose an eyebrow at me, glancing to Donnie. I shrugged and smiled. 

I didn’t know. 

And I think that was okay. 

I think I was okay.

With summer, meant my birthday. June 14th. The boys and April insisted on throwing a big party for me in the lair with cake and presents and music and dancing. I hadn’t laughed so much in months. 

Donnie offered to walk me home, like always. Like old times. Like now. 

We were standing on my roof, all I had to do was climb down the fire escape to the apartment April and I shared. 

“Happy birthday,” His smile was back, and God I had missed it. All of the careful walls I had built around myself came crashing down at the simple gesture. 

“Thanks Donnie,” 

And in the starlight of the roof, alone with the city alive beneath us, he leaned in and his lips were on mine. A stolen kiss that had me wrecked. 

Donnie pulled away, wonder in my eyes, and confusion in his. 

“I—I’m sorry,” He stammered out, his brows pulling together. 

“It’s… it’s okay,” I managed a smile. 

“I’m sorry,” he said again, backing away. “That… I didn’t mean—it was a mistake,” He choked out. 

My body jerked back with the rejection that crashed over it. 

“What?” My voice was as cold as ice. 

“I—I don’t know why I did that.”

“Oh, okay,” I managed.

He was gone like a shadow in the night and I stood there frozen. 

…………………………………

I must have been up there for too long, because April came up to find me. 

“Hey are you okay?” Her voice was concerned. 

“Um,” Was all I could manage. 

“What happened? Donnie came back and he’s not talking. He’s barricaded himself in his lab.” 

“Um.” I said again. “He… he kissed me.” 

“Oh my God that’s amazing!” April celebrated, but paused when she saw the dread in my eyes. “Then what happened?” 

“He. Um. Said it was a mistake.” I choked out. 

“I—I’m—I’m actually going to kill him,” April said. “He said that? To you!? After kissing you!?” She was outraged, and maybe I should have been too, but it was like my entire body had gone into a comatose. She took my hands into hers. I met her eyes. Tears finally thawed and started to fall. 

“Oh, honey come here,” She pulled me into a hug and I started crying. Every tear I had denied finally rushed forward, and soon I was sobbing on that roof. 

“Did I do something wrong?” I asked her, miserable. We had made it back to the flat, and we were curled up on my bed. 

“No, honey, you didn’t.” April soothed, petting my hair. 

The next morning he was standing in my living room. The two of us. Standing like we had not twenty four hours ago. But the morning was different. Now I couldn’t bare to be near him. It was only because April said I should at least get closure this time that I was even out here.

I stared at him, my lips pursed, waiting for him to say something. 

“I’m sorry,” He blurted out. “That—what I said, it wasn’t what I meant.” He started pacing anxiously. “Look, I know that I hurt you with that whole April thing, and I haven’t apologized for that and I really should and I want to!” His words began tumbling together in his nervousness. “And I wanted to do that before I ever did anything else, and God definitely before kissing you, but you were there so close on that roof and you were just beautiful, and I—I’m so sorry,” 

I blinked. My face when through a series of expressions before settling on shocked confusion. 

“I know!” Donnie insisted. “God, I know and I’m so sorry Y/n. Especially for not explaining last night. But I was panicking and—“ He took a deep breath. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for chasing after April like I did. I genuinely thought that you’d never want me like that. And that was a dick thing for me to do. And I’m sorry for hurting you for so long.” He smiled a bit. “And I’m sorry for crossing your boundaries last night. And for not sticking around and explaining. Also a dick move on my part. So… yeah,” He nodded, not daring to meet my eyes. 

“Um. Okay,” I managed. “Uh… wow.” 

“I know it’s a lot. I’m sorry,” He said. 

“You can stop apologizing Donnie,” I gave a small laugh. “That’s um… alright. Thanks? I think?” 

“Are you mad?” His eyes met mine. “I don’t know…” I confessed. “Um I think I need a minute. Or two,” 

“Right! Yeah! Of course! Take as much time as you need!” He said backing away. “Um—I’m gonna go and give you space, but you can come over or call or anything anytime—we are still having game night tonight, so if you want to come—not that you have to!” He was an anxious mess again. 

I placed my hand on his arm to stop him. “Thank you,” I smiled pointedly. 

“Right, um… I’ll just be off then,” He nodded, backing away. “Bye.” 

“Bye?” I laughed. And like that he was gone again. “Hey April?” I called, knowing she heard all of that. 

She emerged from her room. 

“You heard all of that right?” I clarified. 

“Every word,” She was grinning. 

“Why does it all feel so weird?” I asked. “Like really weird.”

“Because that my dear,” April said. “Was emotional maturity.” 

“Is that what that looks like?” 

“For the most part,” April nodded. “So, what are you feeling?”  

“That, it all makes sense? And I want to believe him? And that its still really weird,” 

“All fair feelings,” April said. 

The hours ticked by until game night at the lair. April and I had gone back and forth about going or not. And when it came time to it… I was putting on my sneakers and grabbing my bag. 

I walked into the lair and I felt every stare on me. I was only looking for one gaze though. 

“Hey,” He said, getting up, looking genuinely surprised that I was there. 

“Hey.” I smiled. “Can we talk?” 

Tags: @brightlotusmoon@boatloadsofheart@legandarybeauty@crazywritingbug@bitch-kms@ravn-87@just-a-casual-fangirl-011@unicornjoos @stuckoutsideofthebox@ilikestuffproductions@whygz@coffee-addicti@sugarspooks15@leslieebee@serperiorkb@blossom-skies@fantastical-67impala-fangirl@coresan@big-banging-red@iceprincess2019@raphaeladdict@thirstyforvenom @merindagriese@depressedemo-152@bengewatch@corabmarie@bitemebro522@tmnt-queen@muleka-loka@violet-sky-96 @curadopordeus@artemismohr18​ @thewhisperpen @xjupitermoonsx@bisexualbumblebeesstuf f @merindagriese @oceans-daughter-3​ @dixonreedusfangirlforever@shanidenise@thegayestfish441@lovelyyroseee@yourlieberhoe@dolphincommander@molzies-fanfics@fuzzy-panda@msmcsmutt​ @zombiesnips-blog

[hoedamn-eron]

jake lockley - monster au

Kinktober Day 3 - Monster AU

Warnings: 18+, minors, DNI. Jake is a vampire. Praise kink, blood kink (I suppose?). Swearing. Intended murder but it's all good. Word count: 1,642 F!Reader, no use of Y/N.

Day 2 ● Series Masterlist ● Day 4

Not even a year ago, you would have scoffed at the idea of vampires, werewolves, witches, and wizards, even demons. If anyone had tried to convince you that they were real, you would have spoken to them with the patronisation you give to your four-year-old niece.

But then you met Jake Lockley.

Realistically, you shouldn’t even be alive right now. You’d been out with friends to a bar, and admittedly you were a little drunk, and you had decided to take the shortcut home through the alleyway by your apartment, and Jake had emerged from the shadows in the dramatic way he does and backed you into the brick wall of the adjacent building, intending to make you his next meal.

Your memory of what happened next was a little fuzzy, but you definitely remember the sting of his fangs pierce your skin, something just…snapped in him. He started muttering about how divine you tasted, that he couldn’t just kill you and never have your blood on his tongue ever again. No, he wanted to keep you around.

At first, you were terrified of him and never left your apartment after that night. But it didn’t seem to stop him. He came by every day, checking in on you, bringing you groceries, and trying to coax you to talk to him. It took you a while (of course it did, why wouldn’t it?), but you opened up to the idea of Jake being around. Jake was different from the vampires you'd seen in movies and read about in books. He wasn't just a bloodthirsty monster; he had a complex personality, one that defied the stereotypes. He explained to you that he was part of a hidden world of supernatural beings, a society that coexisted alongside the ordinary human world.

As the months passed, you found yourself drawn deeper into this new reality, uncovering secrets and mysteries that extended far beyond your wildest imagination. The line between myth and reality blurred, and you realized that the world was far more complex and enchanting than you had ever imagined.

And you soon found yourself falling hard for him. And he for you.

It was new territory for both of you when you started dating. He’d been alone for a long time, mostly having flings here and there whenever the chance struck, and your last relationship hadn’t ended well. You were both…tentative, to put it lightly. And you still didn’t know how he felt about…his dietary habits.

But eventually, you both relaxed, settled into a nice flow, where you were just like any normal couple. You went on dates, he spent the night at your place, he’d even met a few of your friends, and of course with his vampire charm, they loved him.

Then came the sex.

Jake was hesitant at first, worried that he might accidentally hurt you, but you assured him he wouldn’t. It took him a few weeks to warm up to the idea, but one night you both just decided to throw caution to the wind and just…do it. And see what happens.

It was the best sex of your life. You couldn’t walk the next day, and not because of the many positions Jake had you in, but because he’d made you cum so much.

The smug bastard paraded around your apartment like a peacock that night.

And here you are, a year into your relationship, still in your honeymoon phase, and still fucking like animals.

“How does it feel, princesa? Feeling good?”

You were at his mercy, spread out on his bed, naked, your wrists tied to his headboard with your favourite tie of his, one that he now only took out for ‘special occasions’. You were keening badly for him, but with the way he was fucking you with his fingers, you couldn’t find it in you to care.

“God, you’re so fucking wet for me, you’re practically dripping down my arm.”

“Jake, baby, please,” you moan.

“Please what?”

“I can’t…I can’t take this anymore, please fuck me.”

He smirks darkly at you. You whine as he removes his fingers from you, your pussy clenching against nothing suddenly. Jake kneeled above you, wrapping your thighs around his hips as he grind his cock between your folds, rubbing against your clit.

“Jake,” you sob. You couldn’t think clearly, he’d been edging you all night. You were frantic for him. “I need…I need…”

“Tell me, princesa,” he says, still casually thrusting against your clit. “What do you need?”

“I need you to fuck me, please,” you cry. “Please, Jake, please just…just put it in me, please. Want to cum so bad, please, let me cum for you.”

“You know how much I love when you beg,” Jake muttered with intent. “Such a good girl.”

With a single, swift thrust, he entered you. He gives a quiet gasp when he bottoms out, and you immediately pulse around him, giving a small moan of relief.

He didn’t give you any time to adjust before he was pounding into you at a punishing pace. You thanked the Gods that Jake lived in a corner apartment, because you were sure the neighbours would have complained with how loud you were being. The hours of pure teasing of slow building orgasms, only for them to be ripped away from you, left you oversensitive, and desperate.

“How does it feel, cariño? Feeling good?”

He knows it does, the fucking tease. He’s still smirking down at you, not even breaking a sweat as he fucks into you. The sounds coming from you were obscene; the sound of his dick pounding into you, mixing with the way you were moaning his name like a prayer. His hands gripped your thighs tightly as he thrust harder into you, the way he’d positioned your hips meaning he was hitting your g-spot every time.

“Yes,” you gasp, your eyes closing as your head tilts back onto the pillows. “So good, Jake.”

Jake growls as he unceremoniously grabs the back of your knees and pushes them forward, so far back that you’re bent in half. You let out a loud cry, tears streaming down your face as you feel your orgasm building, just out of reach of your fingertips. You just need him to move faster, and harder…

“Fuck, I can feel you squeezing my cock, baby,” Jake says. “You gonna cum already?”

You nod, opening your eyes to look at him, your lips parted slightly as you look at him with a blissed-out expression on your face. “You feel so good, Jake.”

Jake grins as he leans down over you, pushing you further into a mating press. “Your body is incredible, you know that?” he leans down into your neck, lightly kissing up until he’s nibbling at your jaw, as he continues to piston his hips into you.

You whimpered again, your thighs trembling and your body tensing as you tried to keep up with his thrusts, chasing your orgasm. “Need to cum,” you say, your words slurring, you were so out of it.

“Fuck, baby, let me feed from you,” Jake growls, lifting his head to briefly rest his forehead against yours. He looked into your eyes so sweetly, you almost forgot what he was asking. “I need to fucking taste you, please.”

You nodded eagerly, tears falling from your eyes in desperation, the overwhelming need to cum overtaking your senses. “Yes, Jake, please.”

Jake leaned back down to your neck, dragging his nose up your skin, smelling you before he groaned and sank his teeth into you. No matter how many times he did it, you could never get used to the initial sting, before feeling him suck at your neck, your blood flowing freely from you and into his hot mouth. It felt exquisite. The tingles it gave you whenever he did it was enough to keep you asking for more every time.

As if he could read your mind, his hips pick up the pace, slamming into you with such force, you were being pushed up the bed, your head almost hitting the headboard. You cry out his name, feeling stray drops of blood fall down your neck.

“Oh, cariño,” Jake mutter softly, licking at the puncture wounds in your neck. “You taste incredible. Your blood is so sweet.” He bites you harder and starts suckling on your neck again.

It was too much. The blissful feeling of his mouth and teeth, and the glide of his cock inside your pussy pushed you over the edge, and you feel yourself cumming. Jake’s hand slides down to your clit, rubbing at you with purpose, prolonging your orgasm. You’re floating, you’re sure of it; you’ve left your body and you’re drowning in the pleasure. Your thighs tremble around his waist, you could hardly breathe, every thrust of his hips pushing the air out of your lungs.

You go limp as the pleasure subsides, and your senses suddenly come back to you. At first, you feel the dull ache in your legs as Jake straightens them out, and next you feel his tongue again, lapping at your neck almost lazily. He’s still inside you, but you could feel yourself leaking…had he cum? When did he cum!?

As you catch your breath, he glances at you before returning to your neck. “Are you with me?”

You nod, before giving a breathless, “Yeah.”

Jake chuckles as he shakes his head a little. “Good.”

You were both silent for a moment before you break it with, “That was…that was…amazing.”

Jake snorts against your neck before he lifts himself, meeting your gaze. He gives you a soft kiss before reaching up and untying your wrists, giving them a gentle rub. “How’re you feeling?”

You hum before grinning. “Really good.”

“Good,” Jake said, before grinding into you. “Because I’m not done with you yet.”

[alena-reblobs]

Trigun Bookclub Trimax Vol10 Part 4

Vol01: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3  | Vol02: Part 1 | Part 2

Trimax: Vol01 Part 1Vol01 Part 2 | Vol02 Part 1Vol02 Part 2 | Vol 03 Part 1 | Vol03 Part2 | Vol04 Part1 | Vol04 Part2 | Vol05 | Vol06 | Vol07 | Vol08 Part1 | Vol08 Part2 | Vol09 Part1 | Vol09 Part2 | Vol10 Part1 | Vol10 Part2 | Vol10 Part3 | Vol10 Part4

God why is this volume so long and full of so many epic pictures

Commentary for chapter 6 and 7 of Vol10, will do the last one in another post!

While I'm doing this, reading each chapter and after that, doing my commentary, I notice the effect of the volume lessening...damn! I should read it in one go first and THEN write my thougths but I'm afraid I'll forget what I want to say. Vol9 and Vol10 are in a way really meant to be read in one go for the full effect.

Chapter 6:

Yes! Wolfwood trying to end this fight not with his weapon, but with his bare hands is so important! He's not fighting to kill, he's not EoM's puppet, he's trying to bring back a friend...I can't say why but also the fact that this obviously pains Razlo more than bullets also feels right. That's how it should be. And then...there's Vash.

Oh god and then there's Vash.

This is...one of the most cruel images of Vash yet. To me it is THE most emotional in the whole series. Pure desperation. Sadness for things lost. Vash allowing himself to break down while we only hear the punches of Wolfwood beating down on Razlo. Looking at this image makes me sad. Damn it Nightow for making Vash have to grief before they even had the chance to start their future together.

But again, props to Nightow for the storytelling.

Vash promised Wolfwood to leave Razlo to him BUT NOBODY DARE INTERFERE.

LIVIOOOOOOO

And just when we fought we had gotten rid of him and he couldn't piss us off any more he's coming back round to hurt our boy

THANK YOU RAZLO. There can never be enough bullet holes in this dead man's body.

I really really like that Livio is not treating Razlo like the bad guy here, but acknowledges that Razlo is also a victim in a way. A victim of having to live through the fucked up shit that Livio could not cope with, of having to deal with that. (I hope I worded that all right, since I don't really know anything about the medical condition of which Razlo is the result?)

You did it, man. You saved Livio. And now you're even a person he looks up to you. Of the feels.

CRYBABY LIVIO IS BACK BITCHES oooh you earned that cigarette, Wolfie

Chapter 7:

I just love the kids and Melanie and how lively it seems. Surely it was hard and filled with loss as everybody had lost their parents, but it must also have been a childhood filled with love.

Baby Wolfwood oh my sweet boy... Sometimes I have wondered how little Vash and Wolfie would have gotten along. Or well, I'm sure they would've gotten along. I just would love to see them interact as kids. Out there, little Wolfwood, a long time ago, was once a boy drifting in space who would later be your most trusted friend. And who would, not in every way, but in an important way, save you.

Ah, just below is the panel where it says "six years have passed since that day" that always confuses me?? Still now because 6 years is not possible? I will wait for any explanation that you, my fellow bookclub readers, will come up with.

Don't scream at him!!!

Vash wanting to explain it to them is killing me. And Wolfwood's expression here is so...unclouded. Completely honest. Vulnerable. No my sweet boy you are no monster, did that not get into your head??

With the little time left...maybe he's right, maybe he can not explain to the children what he is, all the complex stuff.

You know, Vash, Wolfwood is tired. This moment, he just wants to spend it with you, and isn't that enough?

Wolfwood saying this...and then Vash begging to GOD, praying to not lose that man.

I never really got the grip on what Vash means with "stupid things". There's been this theory that Vash denies Wolfwood telling Vash his true feelings, but I don't think so. I think they both at this point know how they feel about each other. I think Vash just...can't stand to hear the emotional talk now because it's simply too much. Maybe it would be nice if they could talk out their innermost feelins at last. But maybe, they don't need that. Have their actions not proven enough already by now?

Throw that confetti guys

If some of you are on twitter and have followed the trigun fandom there you might have stumbled upon the marriage tweet my friend made when she read this scene the first time. I have nothing to add apart from that it rips my heart and soul in two. Now, there's one more chapter to this volume but this arc kinda already concludes with this here...and so I just want to say: I have NEVER before read something that felt so deeply emotional and tragic like this whole...Wolfwoof dying scene. Or, I might have and I might not remember, but in my mind this is the most tragic thing I can recall. Because...it takes its time. It already starts in Vol08, with Wolfwood's inner thoughts, and then it goes on for the whole next Volume where the stakes are getting higher and higher, until Vash appears to save them and save Wolfwood but it STILL is not enough. And Vash is shocked, is in denial, is in anger and is griefing and then we get a short moment of breathing, before it hits us again. We're living this all through Vash, and...and he can't bring himself to smile in the end. He can't. He only stares blankly until he then slumps down. Oh, and I read in the Trigun Wiki I think that this scene here is the only scene where we see Wolfwood cry. Which....gives it also so much more impact.

And, all in all, I think this is not the worst ending for Wolfwood. Of course I am devastated. Reading so much fanfiction, seeing so much fanart, makes it pretty easy to forget that there is no future for these two in canon...not together. (which is WHY I read the fanfiction because good lord did I need something to cope) And when I think about how they never get the chance to live the life together as they both may have wanted...then the feeling of loss hits the hardest. But then, on the other hand: First, killing off one of your main characters while giving them a metaphorical wedding scene is a sick move. An evil, sick move. And second: it fits the series. Because Trigun feels so real, and in real life, things don't always turn out the good way. And Wolfwood, with his life, never really had any future...but the thing is also, he died while knowing that he was able to achieve what he always wanted: the orphanage is safe and he brought Livio back. It is all he ever wanted to do, and it is thanks to Vash that he was able to do it. Would it have been dope if he lived on and if he and Vash could build their own orphanage and be caretaker dads together? Oh hell yeah. But, within the story of the series...it was always unrealistic. Wolfwood died smiling- whatever we think about it, he was content with what he achieved. (I think so at least! The panels where he cries out, they always strike me as a defiance, not wanting to die, but that might be reading to much into it. The whole thing for him is so emotional, the confetti, which tells him they welcome him back, despite knowing who he is...it would be a wonder if he didn't cry. So it might just be the emotionality of the whole scene.

PHEW I'm sure I could say more if I thought a bit about it but I'm gonna shut up here now. Time to do the last chapter, though I'll make another post, this one is far too long already.

[suffarustuffaru]

I think Subaru remaining a child is actually a very purposeful choice?

It allows us to explore Subaru as his child prodigy self, and who he would be if he had come to this world as that version of himself instead of at the age of 17, and who is VERY different from the Subaru we’ve come to love over the course of the series so far. He’s more brash and arrogant, WAY more cutthroat, and even though I don’t think he’s lost that compassionate core of his personality, he does lack a great deal of the sympathy and kindness that’s defined his character so far. Like, older!Subaru would absolutely not have abused RBD like this, especially not after Arc 4, and it is turning him into something that is genuinely terrifying. Like, you said that Arc 8 would not have changed if Subaru was returned to his normal self but — I actually COMPLETELY disagree with that, because while the general plotbeats might remain the same so far, Natchuki Subawu is a MONSTER. He’s paralleling every IF Route so far, he’s disregarding his life as a tool, he’s dismissing other people’s wills and wants for how they live their own lives, and he’s explicitly been using RBD in a way that prevents them from developing unfavorable opinions of him (Gladiator Island) and is now promising to keep using it with Jamal and Berstetz in order to prevent them from dying “noble deaths” on the battlefield (which is a complicated subject, but is current way of dealing with that conundrum is just him going “I’ll just bring you back lol”).

I really believe that Natsuki Subaru would not have done any of this — at the very least, not to this extent. Natchuki Subawu is allowing Tappei to explore 1) a version of Subaru we have been told existed but have not been properly introduced to until now (his child prodigy self, before his mental health spiraled and he ended up alone and anxious) and 2) a version of Subaru that is turning into something really, really terrifying — and I honestly believe he’s going to end up getting very severely punished for this by the end of Arc 8.

(I just took that line in your previous post talking about why Subaru is remaining as Subawu for so long as an excuse to dump my thoughts in your inbox lol, sorry)

hey anon!! no need to apologize hah, in my last ask i invited anyone who disagreed with my stance on the childbaru arc (given my general opinion being “i get Why its there but i Dont Like It and dont feel its 100% necessary”) because 1. id love to learn more about the intricacies of this arc!! subaru is such a complex interesting character as well on top of that!! and 2. i feel like some people, not just me in this fandom, have some mixed feelings on the childbaru arc so im very curious to hear from people who are bigger fans of this arc yes!! i would like to expand my horizons and all ☝️☝️

and also its been a while and im only answering your ask just now Oops but my feelings on childbaru have changed over time for sure 👍 just a little bit. and i didnt explain myself super well in past posts!!

yeah so. you really delivered on very succinctly explaining the purpose of the arc and you have such a great understanding of the plot and the effect this all has on subaru!! (i also appreciate you using “natchuki subawu” HAH we should all stop using childbaru or something and just use “natchuki subawu” now because that has gotta be one of my favorite rezero chapter titles ever). and also all the points you bring up are really really good!! and it takes all of my more in depth thoughts on it out of my head because yeah, its why i dont Entirely dislike the childbaru arc. in fact, its why i like it hah.

it’s absolutely a very purposeful decision. as much as the symbolism has the subtlety of a hammer (i can respect that though <3). it builds off of the natsumi arc and subarus previous major arcs (arcs 1-3, arc 4, arc 5, and amnesiabaru in arc 6) in a very interesting way and shows subaru regressing to Horrifying extents thats still different yet fascinatingly reminiscent of the if routes. i like a lot of aspects about the childbaru arc for this reason—the complexities of subarus character in general, the themes regarding Heroism and Image, more Horrifying exploration of rbd, the way subaru is reaching whole new heights but extreme lows (like the suicide pill) and is likely bound to be narratively punished for regressing at some point!! because tappei doesnt Usually hold back on punishing subaru, so i have next to zero doubt that he’ll deliver on that hopefully!! childbaru is a Regression overall in more ways than one, which is an idea ive warmed up to for sure because its fascinating!! i also am pretty fond of childbarus design—his outfit is very nice and fits him perfectly imo, and ive always liked the decision to add green to subarus color palette post-arc 5. his color palette quite Literally depicts him having a more colorful palette to match the colorful fantasy world around him, i think. and it just looks really nice with the warm yellow/orange.

but okay enough about me gushing over subarus character design, back to the topic at hand!! yeah so. i still have Some mixed feelings on childbaru despite all the Purposeful Intent behind it and all the things i like about it.

and my only reason is like. okay i feel like this is super petty but at the same time HAH. i Really dont like how subaru declares louis as spica, his daughter, when they both look the same exact age 😭😭😭 i have a few personal problems with louis’s arc 7-8 storyline anyway, as much as i like her causing drama in arc 8, but im hoping tappei proves me wrong on that with the rest of her arc but. anyway.

yeah like subaru and spica both look 12 yrs old 😭😭😭 preteen adoptive dad moment??? its just so incredibly awkward and i feel like the impact of that scene did not Hit. both in the sense that the entire time i was thinking “subaru you look like a kid just like louis how the fuck are you her adoptive dad” and also my personal problems and opinions regarding arc 7-8 louis means i dont care about her too much so that scene did not Land for me. but thats mainly a personal thing!! and i might change my mind on it later but yeah like. louis is always gonna be my biggest beef with arc 7-8, which i talked about a bit in previous posts iirc??

as for subaru, i def like both the natsumi and childbaru arcs and completely understand their purpose. i respect tappeis crazy wild character development hes done with subaru—its absolutely amazing. but i do kinda wish the transition from natsumi to childbaru wasnt so Jarring. i almost wish we just saved natsumi and childbaru for Each Half of arcs 7-8, which is a combined arc as you know, or moved childbaru to when capella comes into play later in rezero.

and i know that sounds like doing A Lot just to avoid subaru and spica being the Same Age when he declares her his daughter, but i feel like pacing wise it wouldve been cool to give the natsumi arc and the childbaru arc Their Own Main Story Arcs. not that theyre bad as they are in canon—i love them, for the most part (apart from my beef with louis HAH)!! but def i think it would be way less jarring in a lot of ways if—and ok youd have to move and change plot points but this is just me spitballing random ideas here—if childbaru was All/Almost All of arc 7 and natsumi was arc 8.

childbaru takes up a good chunk of arc 7 anyway, and then once the emilia camp and julius/ana come back in arc 8, subarus grown already to put him on an. Aesthetically Equal ground as the rest of his friends bc now hes grown again. but this is after childbaru arc so the Wack Lessons his childbaru self learned carry onto the natsumi arc—and i know in canon the natsumi arc lay groundwork for childbaru but the themes go right into each other in canon anyway so i think this could work!!

and since im sure the Consequences of Subarus Actions will probably start catching up to him around arc 8 (and kind of already have. with the louis drama ig?? if you wanna count that??) the natsumi arc is. a good transition ig. and now we can have mom natsumi with spica instead of 12 yr old preteen adoptive dad subaru ?? 😭😭 natsumi but in front of all of her friends and the entire country and the entire world this time ?

but no yeah what i just said is a wacky idea and its not that i think canon is Bad. i just have personal problems with louis 😭😭 and im petty about 12 yr old preteen adoptive dad subaru akfndnd and i kind of wish natsumi got a full arc to balance out the Combined Themes of natsumi arc and childbaru arc !! the transition from natsumi to childbaru felt a little jarring imo <3 but as im rereading arc 6-7 now (its been a while and my memory is Hot Garbage pfft) ill probably think more on this. and ill be reading arc 8 front to back once its fully wrapped up to get a better and complete read on it 👍

also other people like cecilus al medium got turned into kids too, but i think it just felt the most significant with cecilus :,) though i may be wrong on that. feel free to enlighten me 👍

i just think the thing with a lot of tappei plotlines is that they go on for a while. theyre kinda slowburn and of course theres a lot of characters in the cast so arcs get put on pause and picked up later alll the time. which is totally fair and understandable with so much ground to cover!! but bc of that i feel like for me personally (and for a good number of people probably, such as how audience reactions to the amnesiabaru arc 6 arc were when it was beginning (people Did Not Like It) vs when it ended (people called it the best arc ever))….. anyway for me personally i think bc of how tappei does his arcs its normal to feel uncertain about it in the beginning or middle bc its hard to predict how itll wrap up and If itll get wrapped up well. which is how i be feeling rn with rem and louis and otto and lots of other people 👍 and honestly even when i first saw childbaru in arc 7 i was like “wtffff but okay ill trust tappei for now and hope he wont get weird about kids again ahahaha”. but thats just my thoughts on it.

so all in all thanks for the ask :3 !! you have a lot of passion anon ty <3 (and im pretty sure i know who you are but totally cool if youre shy pfft)