#i love luxurious by gwen so much

[leehestia]

Luxurious Love / Jinwoo x Reader

(Based on Luxurious by Gwen Stefani)

Pairing: Husband!Jinjin (Astro) x Wife!Reader

Genre: Fluff, Angst, Smut

Warnings: reader doesn’t appreciate 😢 (but reader loves jinjin 😻), jinjin the money spender 💀, vanilla sex, unprotected sex, idk bro, stupid arguments, arguments about money (srsly don’t argue abt it guys it isn’t nice), they have a kid(?), swearing

Synopsis: Jinwoo is a rich CEO for one of the biggest companies in South Korea. And you being his humble middle-class wife, you’re still adapting to this ‘rich life’ environment. You and Jinwoo argue about it, until both of you finally understand each others point, and apologize through both words and pleasure.

Spotify:

A/N: I LITERALLY HAVE LUXURIOUS ON REPEAT RN AND MY JINJIN PHOTOCARD IS JUST STARING AT ME…

A/N (2): Jinjin is literally so damn hot like I wish he was actually my rich husband like pls jinwoo be mine 😢💍

A/N (3): It’s my fist fic on tumblr and i came from wattpad don’t complain if it’s cringe bro idfk how to make non-cringe stories i haven’t even posted a story since march 2021

…

“Jinwoo? Whats this?” You approach your husband, who is currently sitting on the couch, laptop on his lap, the receipt from last night’s dinner in your hand.

“Hm? That’s the receipt from last night babe. Why do you ask?” He says, looking up at you.

“Oh is that so? Then why was the bill 350,000 won?” You breathed, sitting beside Jinwoo as he continued to focus on his work.

“Of course it is, family dinner.” He said in a monotone way.

“Honey that’s expensive… All that for food? Jiwoo couldn’t even finish it.” You frowned.

Jinwoo finally closed his laptop, and turned to look at you.

“Why? What’s wrong?” He said, this time concerned.

“Well, you know… It’s just food. If I knew it was that expensive I wouldn’t have suggested that place.”

“It’s fine babe, why’re you worrying about it?” He said.

“We could’ve used it for Jiwoo’s art classes.” You sighed.

“I’ve got that all covered hon.” Jinwoo smiled, before lying down on the arm of the couch, going on his phone.

He went on his phone for a few minutes before sitting up again to show you something.

“There we go!” Jinwoo smiled, showing you the payment for your daughter’s art classes.

“What? Already?” You said in shock. “Jinwoo are you serious! The amount of-“

Jinwoo groans before shouting, “Y/N! Why do you keep complaining about our expenses?!”

“Jinwoo I can’t bare to see you using all your money over useless stuff!” You shout back, finally standing up as well.

“So you’re saying Jiwoo’s art class is useless?!” He argues back.

You shout, “Of course I don’t idiot! As long as our daughter learns I don’t care about the amount of money you spend for her! It’s because you’re using almost 500,000 won for stupid perfume! Not only that you just bought another 1 million dollar watch! And the stupid stupid stupid 85 million won car for me! I don’t even have a drivers license dumbass!”

Jinwoo sighs out of frustration, “Look, if you’re not going to appreciate the things I buy or do for our happiness, then why the fuck did you marry someone like me!?”

“Park Jinwoo!”

Jinwoo frowns, deeply sighing as he looks at you with his hands on his hips.

“I’ll sleep in the guest room…” He sighs, walking out of the room.

You groan loudly, before slopping on the bed. “Why did I marry someone like you? I should ask myself that!” You say to yourself, “But then again… nothing can beat love…” you whisper, before falling asleep.

…

You wake up early in the morning, at 5 am to check up on your daughter and husband.

You enter the guest room silently, to see your husband sleeping on the desk, laptop still on.

“Overworking yourself again huh?” You whispered as you walked towards him.

You quickly kissed him on the forehead before you turned the heater on and giving him a blanket.

You leave the room to check on your 4 year old daughter, only to see her fully awake, playing with her toys.

“Jiwoo!” You said, running towards her.

“Mama!” She smiled, giving you a tight hug.

You sigh, hugging her back.

“Why are you awake baby?” You pout, kissing her forehead.

“Mama and papa fought so I pretend my dolls are you and papa so that you can be friends again!” Jiwoo exclaims, smiling widely.

“Awe… I’m sorry you had to hear me and papa fight.” You chuckle.

“It okay! Just say sorry to papa! I also draw you and papa!” She smiled.

“Thank you baby!” You said, kissing her cheek.

“I’ll show this to your papa later, you should go back to bed now.”

Jiwoo nods her head, kissing you on the cheek before running to her bed.

“I’ll see you later Jiwoo.” You whispered, before leaving and closing the door.

…

During the morning and afternoon, you and Jinwoo ignored each other.

You knew he was giving you space, but you’d appreciate it a lot if he’d just talk to you.

Later that evening, your husband suddenly went into the room, going straight to the bedside table on his side, opening a drawer, avoiding eye contact.

He quickly gets the item he needed and walks toward the door to leave.

“Jin? Can we talk please?” You call him.

He sighs, before turning around to face you.

He blushes at the sight of you in your red signature baby doll that you usually wear during ‘those nights’.

“What- what are you wearing?” He nervously confronts.

“Uh… my night dress?” You say, stepping out of the bed to walk towards him.

As you approach him, his eyes slowly look lower, going to the valley of your breasts, to your thighs which are barely covered.

“Jinwoo, eyes here.” You said in a soft voice, snapping your fingers.

He shakes his head, then looks at you, expression suddenly changing to a soft one, after looking at you. Your beautiful eyes. Ones that glimmer and make him understand you and your emotions.

“Look… I’m sincerely grateful that you buy me gifts, buy us dinner. So please don’t think I’m unhappy with your gifts. I love them, so much. It’s just… you know the prices… I’m not used to seeing more than 4 zeros in a price tag or receipt.” You sigh.

“I understand.” He says.

You smile at Jinwoo, this being the first time in a while he’s acting like this way with you. You’ve only seem him this serious in work, or when something is bothering him.

“I love you Jinjin~” You giggle before hugging him tightly.

You both nearly fall, Jinwoo catching your balance.

His hands are on your waist, heart fluttering at your iconic boxy smile.

Your smiles slowly fade, slowly closing the distance between you and your husband.

You stop midway, your faces centimeters away from each other.

“I love you, Park Y/N.” He whispers, before breaking the space between both of you.

His warm and soft lips touched yours, a kiss of pure perfection. Your touch feeling like gold, like true luxury.

You parted slightly, allowing Jinwoo’s tongue to slip into your mouth.

You and Jinwoo stopped for a moment to breath, and you tried to lean back in until Jinwoo guided you to the bed and layed you down.

You giggled at Jinwoo removing his socks and shirt, exposing his beautiful abs (A/N: AUUSUHGF JINJIN MARRY ME)

He unbuttoned his shorts, throwing them into someplace in the room.

He hovered over you, kissing and sucking your neck, leaving marks.

“I’m…” he kissed your forehead, “sorry…” he kissed your nose, “Y/N…” and finally, your lips. (A/N: tbh that was awkward af it was better in my head)

You whimper when he finally takes your dress of, his hands desperately touching your body.

Jinwoo removes his remaining clothes off, and dips two fingers into you with no warning, making you yelp.

“J-jinwoo!” You yelp. “Sorry baby.” He smirks.

“Darling, I can’t do foreplay right now.~” you whine, grabbing onto Jinwoo’s wrist.

Jinwoo removes his fingers, licking your essence.

You heavily breathed at the empty feeling, until Jinwoo pushes his length into you, making you both moan loudly.

Jinwoo rests his forehead on yours, his hot breath tickling your face.

“Fuck Y/N, you’re so tight…” Jinwoo says in a deep voice, making you clench around him.

“Relax baby…” He whispers, pausing for a moment, waiting for your signal to move.

“Jin, move… please.” You pleaded. He caressed your cheeks as he started to move slowly, making your breath hitch.

“F-faster-“ You stuttered, as soon as he heard the word, he moved in a fast pace, your heart raced, and your moans became louder.

“J-jinwoo!” You screamed, mewls and cries mixed with the sound of your skin slapping against his.

“Y/N, Y/N, Y/N, Fuck!” Jinwoo groaned, your nails digging deep into his skin.

“Jinwoo it’s close!” You moaned as you felt your orgasm building.

“Wait, fuck! Y/N…”

“Please!” You cried. “Let it out, Y/N.” Jinwoo panted, before both you and him came.

Heavy pants surrounded the room, as you melted into your husband’s embrace, his hands running through your hair.

“Jinwoo, I’m sorry. I love you.” You said, tears threatening to fall from your eyes.

Jinwoo said nothing, and kissed your forehead before standing up to get a cloth.

“I’m sorry as well… I should’ve understood your side. I feel like I don’t know you anymore, I barely spend time with you.” he sighed, cleaning you.

You suddenly started sobbing, making Jinwoo look at you in surprise.

“I’m sorry for being stupid, I’m sorry for being ungrateful, I’m sorry for getting angry for no reason, I’m sorry for growing up in a totally different environment as you, I’m sorry for being a horrible wife! And I know you work very very very hard for me and Jiwoo, and it isn’t your fault. It’s not your fault too for loving us!” You sobbed as Jinwoo looked at you, baffled.

Jinwoo laughed, smiling at you with those cute eyes. (A/N: like fr bro stop smiling with ur eyes i’m so close to being killed by u😀)

He continued to laugh, unable to form words.

“W-why are you laughing at me!” You pouted.

“It’s because! You’re so cute Y/N!” He exclaimed, hugging you tightly.

His laughed slowly died down, smile still on his face however. He kissed your earlobe and shoulder, breaking the hug to look at you, before speaking,

“Y/N, the reason why I fell in love you was because you weren’t like the girls who I grew up with all my childhood. I love how you’re extremely humble, extremely thoughtful and an extremely loving person.” He said, cupping your cheeks and giving you a chaste kiss.

“Really?” You cried, but this time smiling. (A/N: LMFAOOOOOOO)

“Of course honey, I married you for a reason.” He whispered, his forehead leaning on yours.

“Thank you.” You whispered back, kissing him.

He hugged you tightly before you both fell on the bed, cuddling each other to sleep.

…

(A/N: Well, that’s my first story on Tumblr ig lmfao 💀 I’m sorry if it’s cringe idk what to do in life anymore. Anyways Jinwoo>>>>>>my life 😻😻)

[dumbification]

luxurious ft. aventurine

summary: aventurine's love for you was expensive, and having your lips meet his was pure euphoria.

cw: aventurine x fem!reader, nothing much just a hot make out sesh, listen to luxurious by gwen stefani while reading

you wonder how you got here.

someone pathetic like you, sipping champagne in one of the finest hotels of penacony.

you could really never imagine living a luxurious life, you've been working night and day from the pits of hell. now you're rolling in cashmere with aventurine---he's been there.

as you take another sip from your glass, you shyly shift in his lap. he softly laughs for a minute, wishing he could see your expression right now.

your face blushed with a tinge of crimson, a bead of sweat gathering at your temple. you've never been in a private room with him, you only met at busy parties.

he presses a kiss on your nape, lingering to fan his hot breath on you. you felt butterflies flutter in your stomach. you decide to stand to lean against your mini bar for a while, to give yourself a little break. intimacy stresses you out.

"is something wrong?" he swirls his drink in his hand, and takes a sip from his champagne along with you. "not really. i'm just.."

you know he's worried, but that fake smile plastered on him always said otherwise. "just what?" he stands up as well.

in the blink of an eye, he's right in front of you, so close.. "just nervous." he gives you a look that spawns even more butterflies in your stomach.

the two of you put away your drinks when you catch him taking a glimpse at your lips. you know what he wants. you want it too. so badly.

"is my lip gloss smudged, or what?"

"don't play dumb."

he takes a step closer to hold your chin, he gently raises it to have you look at him in his eyes. they're beautiful. you thought. you feel like you could swim in them, it's like they could hypnotize you into doing whatever he wants. you would, no matter what it was.

you were so lucky to have a beauty like him.

he licks his lips as he sees your own tremble in excitement. the two of you are desperate to feel each other.

before you could finish your next thought, his lips collide with yours, and it's absolute perfection. they're so delicate. he thought of your lips, and your lips only. you can feel the butterflies fluttering somewhere far deeper.

you find your hands in his hair, gently tugging at it to encourage him to keep on going. his hands are all over you. one hand resting on your waist, and the other stroking your back, having you gasp and arch.

"tell me how it feels.." his voice was silky and melodious. you would fold when he spoke softly. your voice was his harmony, your sounds perfectly blending with his own.

aventurine wouldn't give you a break, you might as well just share breath. he ushered you to be more vocal by languidly grinding against you.

and you were vocal. extremely vocal. he knew just what to do, and knew how to make you crumble in his arms.

you were practically melting. you were drenched in arousal, longing for something more euphoric. the passion in him multiplied rapidly when he felt how soaked you were.

he pulls away to look at the mess you are. your legs barely keep your balance as you struggle to put two words together. your face burns a deep, beet red.

"someone's excited." aventurine smirks as he plants a kiss against your cheek. he effortlessly slips your red dress off and tosses it aside.

you avert your eyes in embarrassment. "a-aven, I.." now he really gets to see how excited you are. he himself burns a deep, beet red.

he's just as excited as you are. butterflies flutter around his insides, urging him to release his throbbing member from it's confinements.

but your eyes gave him a silent plea to slow down, so he listened.

something was so luxurious about your love. when your lips meet, it all turns to gold. you were his hidden treasure.

he was so lucky to have a beauty like you.

[gentaro-kinniecom]

˚✧₊⁎ Songs that I think fit the l&ds men⁎⁺˳✧༚

Characters: Rafayel, Sylus, Xavier and Zayne

C/w: none! (maybe explicit language in some songs?)

A/n: This is my opinion when it comes to what kind of songs they remind me off and their lyrics :] All links are directed to Spotify ! Then again thank you all so much for all the support regarding my works🥹🙂‍↕️✨

Rafayel ⁎⁺˳✧༚

1. Behind the Moon Shadow by Lamp

2. Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy by Queen

3. The less I know the better by Tame Impala

4. Candy by Baekhyun

5. Telepatia by Kali Uchis

6. Something about you by Eyedress & Dent May

7. Date by Soma Saito

8. Soledad y el Mar by Natalia Lafourcade & Los Marcorinos

9. Good looking by Suki Waterhouse

10. Round & Round by Nct U

Sylus ⁎⁺˳✧༚

1. Ride or Die, pt 2 by Sevdaliza, Villano Antillano & Tokischa

2. Fiancé by Mino

3. Criminal by Taemin

4. Always Forever by Cults

5. 505 by Arctic Monkeys

6. Romantic Lover by Eyedress

7. Dark Red by Steve Lacy

8. Luxurious by Gwen Stefani

9. Hotel California by Eagles

10. She keeps me up by Nickelback

Xavier ⁎⁺˳✧༚

1. Right side of my neck by Faye B Webster

2. Messages from the Stars by The Rah Band

3. Tempo by Exo

4. Sugar Sugar by Mamoru Miyano

5. Goddess by Beach Weather

6. Dream Girl by Crisaunt

7. Reflections by The Neighborhood

8. Dream by Baekhyun & Suzy

9. Like or Like Like by Miniature Tigers

10. Something Stupid by Frank Sinatra & Nancy Sinatra

Zayne ⁎⁺˳✧༚

1. Once more to see you by Mitski

2. Trauma by ms. isohp romatem

3. Show me how by Men I Trust

4. Oblivion by Grimes

5. Corduroy Dreams by Rex Orange Country

6. Where’d all the time go? by Dr. Dog

7. Me and my husband by Mitski

8. Seppun -Kiss- by Original Love

9. Numb by Men I Trust

10. Italo Disco by Last Dinosaurs

[cbk1000]

I'm bored and feeling slightly under the weather, so I decided to post some of the almost 15,000 words I have of a luxury train holiday fic that I started after learning that luxury train holidays were a thing. Why did I write a fic about such a random thing? Because I fell down a rabbit hole of luxury travel videos, discovered luxury trains, and naturally turned those videos into a Merthur fic.

Waverly Station, not to put too fine a point on it, was the most wretched hive of scum and villainy ever to be stolen by the British Empire; though possibly this was because Edinburgh had rained on Arthur, rather prodigiously, whilst he was legging it for the station; possibly because he had been woken, at the hour of No, to catch a train into Scotland; and possibly because he was carrying everything which Morgana owned, over every limb he owned; and consequently hated everyone. The sad fate of the baggage mule was his own: to be flogged, viciously, by a master too precious to carry their own bloody rubbish, through the most wretched of conditions (mizzle), with as little thanks as can be given by a creature throated to give it: and with that especial garnish, which was that he was being hit by Morgana’s voice, rather than a nice little crop, which would have only broken his flesh, and not his spirit.

He was trying to decide in which order to kill them both when he spotted, at the other end of the station, the sculpted dark head, modelled in the image of a wave; though the wave would have blushed to hear it. And beside it, a head similarly coloured, if not similarly coiffed; though he had got it into some order, and not an entirely hideous one. Gwaine nodded; and then Merlin turned round, and showed Arthur the smile he hadn’t seen in two weeks. And he felt it call up from the depths of him an answering smile, though he still hated, in the following order, Morgana; the weather; everyone.

“Should have asked me and Gwaine to carry your stuff. Arthur’s clearly crumbling under the weight of being overestimated,” Merlin said, exchanging cheek kisses with Morgana.

“I just love how funny you are,” Arthur replied, chucking off the various pieces of baggage, and letting them land where they landed.

“Don’t throw my stuff, you absolute knob.”

“Then carry it yourself!” Arthur snapped. “Did you remember your suit?” he asked Merlin, who in a blazer and shirt which appeared, miraculously, not to have got his breakfast, blood, or tea on it, was so uncharacteristically smart that probably he considered himself to be entirely done improving on himself. “You’ll have to wear a proper suit for the formal dinners.” He paused, squinting at him. “Do you have product in your hair?”

Merlin wiggled his eyebrows. “Gwaine helped me with it. Don’t worry; I won’t embarrass you on your posh train.”

“You embarrass me on the Tube.”

“I think that’s just because you feel a heightened sense of shame at having to ride public transportation with the plebian class.”

Arthur rolled his eyes. “Where are Gwen and Lancelot?”

“Gwen’s in the loo; Lancelot’s gone to look for something to eat. He’s worried the train’s going to serve tiny rich people portions.” Merlin pocketed his hands in his trousers. “Want a coffee?”

“Sure; I could use one, having got up at the arse crack of time this morning,” Arthur said, glaring at Morgana, who as usual was perfectly untroubled by her conduct. He gave Merlin a little slap on the shoulder, and then draped his arm round it, steering him toward Caffé Nero before he could do something unforgivable, like choose Costa. He had enhanced the blazer and hair product with a little aftershave, so that as they were walking, Arthur caught a whiff of something not entirely abhorrent; though his manners, doubtless, would make up for it. If they got him on the train, in the blazer, and no one was very much harmed in the process, that was the most which feeble humanity could expect of God’s capricious mercy. “How’s work?”

“Like arse,” Merlin said, paying for their coffees, and handing Arthur his. “I think they would have asked me to push off my holiday, except they know I’m a biter. And not just the sexy kind.”

Arthur rolled his eyes. “Just something to consider, a luxury train holiday with a spa and 24 hour steward service might be the place to consider not being a totally classless knob who talks about his sexual preferences in public.”

“The train has a spa?!”

Arthur ignored that. “You didn’t answer about the suit.”

“Yes, I packed the suit we FaceTimed about.”

“Nice to know you can occasionally conjure up enough sense to listen to me,” Arthur said, sipping from his coffee, and looking across the platforms to where Gwen had now joined Morgana and Gwaine, and the women were talking with their heads close together, and laughing, whilst Gwaine arranged himself for the admiring masses. 

“Sometimes I wish he weren’t so straight,” Merlin said, cocking his head a little to one side, and drinking from his coffee. “Just a little bit gay; that’s all I’m asking for.”

“Gwaine?” Arthur sputtered, choking on his coffee. “Why on earth?”

“Because he’s the fittest man I know.”

“Of everyone you know, Gwaine is the fittest.”

“No, I didn’t say everyone, I said of the men I know. I would never say fittest of everyone I know, when Morgana’s right there.”

Arthur stepped on his foot, and got the maddening dimples which told him that Merlin was being trying for the sheer and unadulterated pleasure of it; though he made up for it, marginally, by stepping out from underneath Arthur’s arm, so that he could have a proper look at him, the measuring appraisal of a (not terribly) discerning bisexual, who was not so simple, at least, as to not notice that Arthur was practically the pinnacle of attractiveness, in regular shirt and trousers; and in a proper jacket was planting his flag at the peak of it. “You look ok, though,” Merlin said, tweaking one of his lapels a little.

Arthur cuffed him across the back of the head. “Ok.”

“Yeah. For a total arsehole.”

Lancelot had returned, and Arthur and Merlin were cordially punching one another, when the Royal Scotsman arrived, and Gwen gave a little squeal, and leapt up holding two very reasonable bags, whilst Morgana and entourage looked at Arthur expectantly.

“I am not hauling all that on the bloody train. You could have asked yourself at any point, ‘Do I need my entire closet for a week-long holiday?’ and come to a sane conclusion, but you didn’t,” Arthur said; and so having stated his piece, hauled his own rucksack over his shoulder, forsaking hers.

They were piped aboard the train, a rather troublesome portent, Arthur felt; all week people would be making noise which they felt to be music, whilst he was trying to work or read or bathe; whilst it was his right to exist with the Highlands of Scotland, doing their piece to be stunning, whilst he did his. He had his luggage taken, and was shown through into the Observation Car, which was kitted out like a lounge with armchairs and sofas, and a small balcony for watching the stars. Merlin, true to his complete lack of noticeable decorum, said, “Holy shit.” There was a decent carpet underfoot, the colour of wine; and the wood panelling was the same as he had seen in hotels of distinction. There was the bar at the end of the car, which he would need, once Morgana boarded with the Luggage, having got Gwaine to do the hauling for her, and still feeling that Arthur owed her his time and lumbar spine.

“Why did you book us a double, you weirdo?” Merlin asked when they were taken to their cabin, having shouldered ahead of Arthur, to get a look at it first, before Arthur could spoil his first impressions, by being, as Merlin put it, ‘a poncey indifferent bastard.’

“I didn’t. It’s a twin.”

“Looks like a double bed to me.”

“What?” Arthur cried, and pushed him out of the doorway. 

Merlin, contrary to all that was sane, or expected, was right: there was the one lone bed, lovely but singular. They had made it up with a little tartan duvet in the spirit of their culture, as if that would make up for the insult. “We’re supposed to have a twin room.”

“I’m sorry, sir, this is the room.” This from the liveried employee who had shown them to the cabin, and was now realising he had done something, inadvertently, to anger the kind of patron who could drop twenty-six thousand pounds on an eight-day holiday. Merlin pinched him. “It’s fine,” he reassured the man, dimpling at him. 

“It’s not fine!” Arthur cried.

“Yes, it is. If you don’t have any other rooms, and I’m assuming you don’t, otherwise you would have said so immediately, as soon as he started turning all red in the face, we can manage. He’s not the worst thing I’ve woken up to,” Merlin said, and dimpled again, this time in a way that made Arthur coincidentally sweat.

“You didn’t have to be a knob to him,” Merlin said when the man had left, tossing his blazer over the armchair. 

“I wasn’t a knob to him, he mucked up my booking!”

“He didn’t muck up your booking, and put your tits back on. I think we can survive sharing a double bed for a week. I don’t know what you’re complaining about, anyway. You’re the one who snores.”

“I do not snore,” Arthur said, outraged. “You’ll have to sleep in the armchair.”

“I’m not sleeping in the armchair.”

“Well--on the floor, then. I’m sure there’s extra bedding to be got.”

“I’m not sleeping in the armchair, or on the floor; if you’ve got a problem sharing, you’re free to kip on either one,” Merlin said, as if it were settled; and now began, with every appearance of serenity, to begin unloading his bag, into the loo, and all over the writing table and bed, as if he were entitled to the calm dispersal of his belongings, whilst Arthur was stood in the centre of the cabin, clutching at his bag, and staring. The bed was an ordinary double; no giant of its kind, but a mere representative, with no girth but the girth to accommodate them, just. Doubles were for couples who didn’t mind mingling their breath and their limbs and their--other limbs. And now he would have to share, with Merlin’s aftershave and thighs, the romantic space in the spirit of platonicness. Already Merlin had sprawled out on it, demonstrating how it was to be, for seven nights, for Arthur’s personal bubble. Already he had taken off his shoes and blazer, and put his fitted trousers all over Arthur’s bed, as if it were decent, or sensible, or respectable, to take off any clothes whatsoever, in that close, warm space in which they would have to violate the edicts of platonic accord.

“So all week, I’m to have your elbow in my ribs, and just deal with it?” Arthur demanded, still clutching at the bag on his shoulder.

“Yeah, and probably my morning wood too, but I wouldn’t worry about it; if our friendship can get past your personality, it can get past anything.”

Gwen poked her head in the door. “Hello! They’re serving afternoon tea soon.” She stopped, and looked at Merlin on the bed, and looked at Arthur, not on the bed, because he was in possession of common decency. “Why have you got a double?”

“I dunno. Apparently Arthur and I are on our honeymoon,” Merlin said, scrolling through his mobile with his thumb without looking up.

“I booked a twin,” Arthur repeated, loudly but uselessly, in the face of Merlin’s indifference, and Gwen’s eyebrow. She was giving him a Look, very capitalised. It was Arthur’s unfortunate but not unexpected cross to bear; he was one of those unlucky blokes who had got some miscreants, instead of those decent, ordinary folk of common friendship; though he had expected better from Gwen. 

“Anyway,” she said, still giving him the odd Look, “are you coming down for tea? We’re in the first dining car.”

“In a minute,” Arthur said, unloading his bag, by the satisfactory method of smacking Merlin in the face with it.

“Ow!”

“Arthur,” Gwen scolded gently, and was gone, leaving him in that strange shrunken space, where before had existed a normal-sized room; even a rather kingly one, for a train. He felt there was a sort of odd pressure round him. He felt already that he had the awareness of Merlin, before he had Merlin--his close, stifling body, in the bed, that was--the close, stifling presence, offensive if not downright repulsive; anyway, he was quite plagued, quite unsurprisingly, as he had been, all their long and troublesome friendship. 

“Get up; we’re going for tea,” he said, poking Merlin in the side, and getting a yelp out of him. 

They watched Edinburgh and the Castle vanishing beyond the windows from the dining car, whilst Lancelot ate an alarming number of canapes, and Gwen warned him, in the roundabout way of innuendo, by someone who actually knew how to make it, that he oughtn't to be too full, for the sake of--of dinner.

“And dessert,” Merlin said, in a dining car full of blazers and cocktail dresses, in a tone which specified, clearly and resoundingly, that he was not referring to a nice little jelly or sorbet.

“I thought you said you weren’t going to embarrass me on my posh train?” Arthur asked, kicking him in the shin. 

“Technically I embarrassed Gwen,” Merlin pointed out, shovelling one of the canapes into his mouth. “What are we doing tonight?” he asked, like an animal, through the canape, rather than after it.

“Drinking, I think,” Gwaine replied.

“There aren’t any excursions today,” Morgana said. “We’re getting off tomorrow at Glenfinnan, but tonight you’re free to do whatever you like, till dinner. Have some drinks, watch the scenery, break in your double bed.” She smirked at him.

Arthur rolled his eyes. “For the last time, I. Booked. A Twin.”

“He just missed me, is all,” Merlin said, turning on him a smirk almost as bothersome as Morgana’s.

“I don’t see how,” she said, sipping her tea. “I’m sure he has a little doll made of your hair that he sleeps with every night.”

“Yeah, but it just can’t live up to the real thing,” Merlin replied, ruffling it.

“I wish you’d never met. Or been born,” Arthur said pleasantly.

“Merlin, why don’t you give your bride a proper seeing-to in your double bed? He’s getting tetchy again.”

“Piss off,” Arthur said, and went to find, in the arms of some champagne, solace from the bitter reality of his genetics.

[thefanciestdressedotter]

OP as parents: Sir Crocodile

TW: Since this is Crocodile expect him to be evil (I won't change his entire character just bc of a parent headcanon, I'm trying to keep him as in character as possible), this is not a warm fluffy feeling hc so beware

[Quick disclaimer: in terms of the timeline this is going to happen before Alabasta]

*Luxurious by Gwen Stefani begins playing*

You are absolutely spoiled bc this man lives in the lap of luxury and doesn't want his kid looking like a rat standing next to him, you get the best everything

You have guards with you everywhere you go, Crocodile has a lot of enemies and can't lose you to a roadside shootout

Sociopath, Crocodile is a legit sociopath, so you aren't so much his child as you are something that cements his image as a good person

While you are spoiled, if you prove yourself to be useless he will get rid of you under the guise of you traveling or something

You know who the Baroque workers are, and besides Bon Clay they treat you like you don't exist

Over time your relationship with Crocodile will get somewhat better as you prove yourself to be useful, but never expect your relationship to be the ideal that you see in a child care manhwa, this man is a coldhearted murderer who planned to take out a family he deliberately got close to

On a lighter note, he will sometimes take you to watch/ take care of the bananadiles

You and Bon Clay are besties and he helps take your mind off the plans you know your dad is brewing

Overall, he isn't that great of a parent, but what were we expecting from a sociopath around the same level as Doflamingo

I still fucking love Crocodile tho, he is so cool

[total-drama-brainrot]

Total Drama Psycho Noah AU, after the 'London Adventure' and the truth being revealed, Chris then decides to make this a reward challenge... The reward is that EVERYONE gets to be in First Class, with NOAH... Chris and Noah are curious to see, who will be brave enough to actually enter First Class, after learning about Noah's insanity... How would Courtney + Gwen + Duncan reacts to seeing the video of Noah's insane side showing? 😈 Would Alejandro and Noah still be friends? 😈

Listen, as much as this idea is so fucking funny to me, I really don't think it'd work from a storytelling perspective.

Though (not to push any agendas here, but-) if Chris were to hypothetically have the remaining contestants go against Noah in an enclosed space, in a sort of predator-vs-prey scenario, it'd probably play out something like The Beast chapter in Slay The Princess... without the "eating them alive" aspect, of course.

(Heavy Content Warning for that link, by the way. There's a lot of violence/gore/body horror, among other stuff, by virtue of it being a horror game.)

Maybe he'd lock everyone in the First Class cabin and turn off all of the room's electronics, so the only source of light in the cabin would be the wavering moonlight from whatever tiny windows are dotted around. Noah would use the cover of darkness to his advantage and toy with his competitors in a similar vein to how the Ripper had in their challenge that day, darting silently through the shadows to 'capture' his castmates, picking them off one by one.

It'd be a fun game of cat-and-mouse for Noah. For the others? It'd be a living nightmare. They wouldn't have the luxury of knowing that Noah wouldn't really hurt them, and the bloodlust they'd seen on that screen would be terrifying to watch but downright petrifying to experience first hand. They would be genuinely fearing for their lives, in a way that Chris hadn't been able to prompt since the early days of Island, and the host would love it.

Not that he would do that. And not that Noah would actually attack anyone either. (Without reason to, of course.)

But you are right about one thing; if this AU were to become a fully-fledged story, the London challenge would have to be a reward, just to keep Noah in the competition. Because he literally snapped Zeke's arms like chopsticks- his team would vote him out in a heartbeat just by virtue of him being so dangerous.

Which means the whole of Team Chris (plus Duncan) would be sharing a poorly-lit, structurally unsound cabin with someone they're terrified of.

...Owen notwithstanding, since Owen's a sweetheart and he knows Noah.

But the others would be immediately on guard around him. Noah, knowing there's no reason to keep up his ruse of sarcastic apathy, would probably relish in their fear- he enjoys tormenting people, after all, especially when that torment is purely psychological. So he'd carry on playing the 'unhinged, bloodthirsty sociopath' just to watch the others squirm.

He'd probably make a huge show of still having the Ripper's knife, tucked safely in the sleeve of his white undershirt, and comment that he and Duncan could be 'knife buddies' or something. If only to see how the punk's pierced face would drain of all colour at the prospect of Noah having a sharp object. (Duncan would absently rub at the puncture scars on his hand, to Noah's delight.)

But it'd eventually get boring, I imagine, so Noah would do something to reassure his teammates that he's not some ethics-devoid monster hellbent on destruction. Because having your teammates be in a state of constant paranoia around you would get annoying after a while, and it'd impact their performance in the competition (which Noah isn't really all that concerned with, but Owen is, so Noah doesn't want to do anything to jeopardise their chances of winning challenges).

So he'd drop the exaggeration of his more violent traits, and intentionally show off the unharmful aspects of himself- namely by koala-clinging to Owen and acting 'normally' like they'd done before the London challenge, and/or by approaching Tyler to ask how he was feeling after being stretched on the rack and sheepishly apologise for leaving him behind (showing empathy and remorse, to humanise himself n front of his teammates).

He's insane, not heartless.

As for Alejandro...? I have no idea. Would he even want to risk approaching Noah to find out if their shared comradery was all a ruse? Would whatever tentative trust he had in Noah be completely shattered by the reveal? Or would he be so engulfed by his need to win the competition that he only views this new development as a boon, since now Noah can be more of a physical asset for their team?

It'd probably be a mix of all of these. Alejandro would be left off-footed by the reveal of p!Noah's 'true self' (however much of his 'true self' he's willing to show to others) but I imagine he'd be quick to ally himself with the guy who can break bones like they're chalk and deceive a whole cast of people for two and a half seasons, regardless of any personal misgivings.

[skylarmoon71]

Miguel O Hara (Across the Spider Verse)- Oneshot

From the moment he saw you he could already feel the migraine coming.

"Miguel!! What's up my amigo!"

You were wearing an oversized shirt with a spider insignia over your suit as you held your mask in your hand grinning.

"Like the shirt, I got it from earth 56. They really love Polly over there. She's awesome. I got a large one, so you can borrow it if you want." You slipped it off, tossing it on the chair.

Lyla was smiling as Miguel ignored you, sifting through his files.

"So what mission do you have for me today? Another anomaly adventure? Sign me up!!"

"Right now we're just tracking the activity. This isn't an adventure." He sent you that unimpressed stare in which you returned with a smile.

"Why you always gotta be so brooding all the time, can't you be more like Peter B."

"If you like him so much why don't you just marry him."

It was a grumble, followed by what you could only assume was a curse.

"Oh I would, but last time I checked he's already married. I can't even be jealous about it. Have you seen Mayday? She's adorable!!"

"She is very adorable." Lyla agreed.

Miguel sent the holograph an angry glare. In which she glitched away.

The door behind opened and in walked Peter.

"Hey guys sorry I'm late. Mayday and I were playing this really fun game and I-"

"Not interested." Miguel groused.

"Right, right. I forgot you're the killjoy spider man." You laughed and Peter smiled at you as Mayday jumped into your arms.

Peter and Miguel had gotten into a conversation. With every word they exchanged, you took a calculated step back.

"I hope you're not trying to kidnap Mayday again." You froze.

"I mean, is it kidnapping? It isn't, right Mayday?" She smiled, hugging your neck and that was it.

You took off in a sprint.

"HEY! BRING BACK MY KID!!!"

Mayday was giggling the entire way out as Peter chased after you.

Miguel just rubbed the bridge of his nose. He knows he should be used to it by now, but it was still irritating.

Sometimes he wondered why he even tried.

His eyes shifted towards the door and Lyla popped up next to his shoulder.

"If you were nicer to her maybe she would chase after you instead." She teased.

Sometimes he regretted creating such a perceptive AI.

~~

Miguel was used to it.

Your unnaturally bubbly personality. In a way, he supposed he preferred it. Because unlike a lot of the other arachnid heroes here, your abilities weren't gained through an accidental bite.

You were the product of an experiment by a literal mad scientist. You trusted the wrong people. Which he couldn't truly blame you for. Being an orphan didn't exactly provide a long list of people you could rely on.

He didn't understand why he felt protective.

Every hero under his care had a story. None of them did this job without some kind of trauma. Yet, when he saw you, that's not what he saw.

"Boss man!!"

Miguel grunted as he caught you mid air, swinging to the roof of a building nearby. The second he landed, his glare fixed on you. In which you merely returned with a smile.

"Good catch." You complimented. Miguel rolled his eyes.

He placed you on your feet, turning back to the chaos that was unfolding. Peter and Gwen were struggling to stop the newest anomaly and you had just narrowly avoided an attack said assailant fired. Miguel was losing his patience.

"You're doing that thing with your mask again." You comment.

"Stay here and make a barrier with your webs. We're going to draw him in." You saluted.

"Sir yes sir!!"

Miguel groaned.

He just knew it would be a long day.

If anything, he should expect the antics. When you all returned that day after a long aggravating mission, he stretched his arm, ready to secure the anomaly and write up the report. Everyone else had pretty left to tend to their own matters. Peter was a literal child and Gwen and the others had the luxury of being young and naive. They understood how important these trips were, but there was so much that he couldn't share. If nothing but to keep their sanity.

The door behind him opened, and he looked back.

"Hey."

You were holding a paper bag, and Miguel raised a brow.

"I know you're going to be sitting here all night running up reports, so I figured I'd make sure you had something to eat."

You weren't wearing your spidersuit. Just a pair of sweatpants and a sweater. Miguel stepped down from the platform, taking the bag you had outstretched.

"It's from that burger place that you like. Sorry I only got three. They were about to close."

When he opened it, the scent of the sandwich actually made his body relax. He hadn't realized that this was his first meal of the day until his stomach grumbled at the smell.

You grin.

"Seems like I was just in time."

He'd never admit, but he appreciated this. Given your job description, he wasn't that shocked at the little gestures. You had a tendency to take care of people.

"Gracias."

He muttered.

You nod.

"No problem. I'm about to head out. I need to check in on some kids."

"Have you found a secured spot for them yet?"

The sad smile rose on your face as you shook your head.

"Not yet. The county doesn't have the budget, or maybe they just don't care. It's worrying. There's been a lot of gang violence in that area. I'm afraid what's going to happen if they don't find a different house."

It's times like this that he's reminded that he's not the only one shouldering the world.

"I went into social work because I wanted to fix everything. It's proving a little harder than I thought."

He could relate.

"The world is a tough place to fix, doesn't mean we should stop trying."

The statement causes your head to raise, and you smile.

"I guess you're right. You know for a stick in the mud you're really wise."

His expression turned blank.

"Goodbye."

You laugh as he turns away with his burgers in hand.

"Goodnight!"

You basically skipped out of the room, and Miguel gripped the bag, looking over his shoulder.

"She definitely has a crush on you, boss. You got a shot."

He really should make some adjustments to this nosy AI. 

[i-hate-people-1]

For the good of Camelot.

Arthur x reader/Gwaine x reader/Arthur x Guinevere / platonic Merlin x reader

You and Arthur are told you are to be wed by the end of the month the only problem is your respective lovers Gwaine and Guinevere.

Warnings this is really angsty kind of bittersweet ending.

Anybody else still obsessed with a show that ended in 2012 no just me? Okay. anyways the is a BBC Merlin fic because there is simply not enough of it out there

2,432 words

Not my picture

“You can’t do this father!” Arthur exclaimed hands slamming on the table as he stood from his seat.

“I am your father and the king of Camelot I can do as I wish!” Uther yelled back standing from his seat as well “And you and y/n are to be wed for the good of the kingdom and its people if you are to be king one day you must realize that you have to make sacrifices you are no longer a child you are a man and I expect you to act as such!”

Arthur opened his mouth but quickly shut it when his father brought his hand up telling Arthur to silence.

Uther turned his head to you “And what say you of this arrangement?”

You sucked in a sharp breath as much as you wanted to speak out you were not in such a position as Arthur to speak out against the king so swallowing the lump in your throat thickly “I will do as you wish sire” you replied as a silent tear fell down your cheek.

Arthur scoffed not at you but at his father and what he was proposing “Fath-“ Arthur started.

“Silence I will have no more debate about this matter!” Uther shouted “I will begin making preparations with y/n’s father tomorrow” he stated walking out of the room.

As soon as Uther left the room Arthur’s shoulders slumped “Way to have my back there” Arthur scolded you as if you were a child.

“You think I want this? I do not have the luxury of speaking against the King Arthur” you snap back storming out of the room to your chambers.

“Y/N” you heard him sigh as you exited you ignored him.

You had been staying in Camelot as a guest for about a year you can’t help but think that this had been your father's plan this whole time. You and Arthur had met in your childhoods and had always been close though not in the way your fathers wanted it would seem.

“Y/N?” you heard a knock and Arthur’s voice pulling you from your thoughts.

“Come in”

“I’m sorry about earlier,” Arthur told you eyes turned towards the floor “I know you can not speak against my father and it was wrong of me to be upset with you”

“It’s okay Arthur” you replied patting the spot on your bed beside you.

“So we are to be wed” he sighed taking the spot on the bed.

“It would seem so” you chuckled dryly. “What are we going to tell Gwaine and Gwen?” You asked softly.

“I will get us out of the Y/N I swear it,” Arthur told you.

“And if you can’t?” You questioned as the tears you were holding back began to fall

“Then I also swear this to you” Arthur started moving to kneel in front of you grabbing your hands gently as his eyes found yours “If I can not get us out of this and we are to be wed I will make you comfortable all the days of my life and I will do everything in my power to make you happy I can’t make you love me but I will love you I swear it” Arthur finished eyes never leaving yours.

He brought a hand to your cheek gently wiping the tears from your eyes and offering you a small smile before standing and leaving your room.

***

You were awakened by a knock on your door you had fallen asleep in your clothes crying.

“Come in” you replied rubbing the sleep from your eyes as Merlin entered your chambers.

“Arthur told me what happened last night he’s gone to try and reason with the king he sent me to check on you I figured you’d be hungry” Merlin fumbled as he sat the plate on the table making himself busy.

“Thank you Merlin you’ve always been kind to me” you offered him a small smile as you sat.

“Of course, you’re my friend” Merlin shrugged.

“And you are mine please sit I couldn’t possibly eat all this by myself” You gestured for him to take the seat beside you.

The two of you ate in silence for a minute before Merlin broke it “How are you doing?” He asked.

“As well as I can be” you paused taking a deep breath “I only hope Arthur can get us out of it” You sighed as if summoned Arthur burst into the room.

“My Father won’t listen to reason he says we will be wed within the month” Arthur paced the room.

You bit back the tears refusing to cry again.

“We must tell Guinevere and Gwaine before it is announced they should hear it from us,” you told him as his pacing stopped.

“Very well,” Arthur said walking out of the room.

“Goodbye Y/N,” Merlin told you exiting to follow his master.

***

You and Arthur had decided to tell them together thinking that it might be nice to have the support so Merlin arranged for you all to meet at Gwen’s house Arthur had practically begged Merlin to come with you making an excuse about how a prince needs his servant at all time but you knew he just wanted him there Merlin was after all his closest friend.

When you arrived Gwen and Gwaine were sitting at her table they had been talking as you entered but quickly stopped when they saw you.

“Darling, are you alright?” Gwaine rushed towards you checking for any injuries or something that could be physically wrong with you sighed in relief when he saw nothing pulling you In for a hug “Merlin said it was urgent” When you didn’t respond he pulled away eyes widening when he saw the tears falling down your face “Y/N?” He questioned grabbing your face in his hands.

“Gwaine I think you should sit down” Arthur spoke as he pulled a seat out for Gwen.

“What did you do to her Arthur?” Gwaine asked moving towards the prince.

“Gwaine please sit,” you said grabbing his arm before he could do anything. He looked back at you before hesitantly taking a seat as you went to stand by Arthur.

“There’s no easy way to say this so I’ll just come out with it our fathers have arranged for us to be married,” Arthur said letting out a breath.

“Then refuse!” Gwen yelled standing up and surprising all of you with the outburst “I’m sorry” Gwen apologized as she sat back down.

“Don’t apologize Guinevere” Arthur sighed

Before explaining “I tried my father is having none of it he says we are to be wed by the end of the month”

As Arthur was talking to Gwen Gwaine stood from the table going to leave.

“Gwaine” you called moving towards him

“I just need some time,” he said walking out you went to follow him before Merlin grabbed your arm gently.

“Give him some space,” he said gently.

Gwen and Arthur were talking in hushed tones before Gwen turned towards you.

“I’m so sorry Gwen” was all you could manage before a sob racked your body.

“I think it’s best if you all leave” Guinevere whispered holding tears of her own back.

Merlin simply nodded leading you out of the house back to the palace Arther following behind.

Once Arthur and Merlin got you back to your quarters and made sure you were okay they left you.

Now you were left with your thoughts tossing and turning trying to escape them long enough to fall asleep sighing when you had no such luck.

You only found a semblance of relief when you heard a knock at your window knowing it was Gwaine's as this was a regular thing he did the relief was quickly replaced with anxiety as you walked to the window to let him in.

“May I come inside my lady?” Gwaine as you opened the window stepping aside to let him in walking towards the bed.

“I was worried about you,” you told him in a whisper.

“I know darling I’m sorry I just need some time to cool down it’s not every day you’re told that the woman you love is marrying one of your closest friends” Gwaine chuckled dryly, Trying to bring some semblance of humor to your predicament.

“We could run away,” you said.

Gwaine sighed as he sat beside you “The king would find us execute me and force you to marry Arthur”

“Then what are we to do?” You asked helplessly.

“You have to go through with it for your sake I could not bare anything happening to you because of my foolishness,” he told you arm wrapping around you as he kissed your forehead gently.

“You have to promise me you’ll move on and find happiness with someone else for I cannot bare the thought of you spending your days in misery for my sake,” you told him gabbing his face in your hands and resting his forehead on your own.

“I’m afraid I can make no such promise for a fear I am destined to love you all the days of my life,” Gwaine said tears finally making their way down his face

“And I you but you must try” you started biting back tears of your own “For me please” you finished.

“I will try for you” Gwaine finally agreed.

You sat like that for a while foreheads rested against one another’s as silent tears fell down your cheeks.

You don’t remember who made the motion to lay down only that you had fallen asleep holding each other for perhaps the last time.

You awoke to a thumb gently stroking your cheek Gwaine's soft scratchy morning voice filling your eyes “Wake up darling I’m afraid I must go” he kissed your forehead lingering for a moment before pulling away eyes finding your tired ones before he looked away leaving the bed.

You got up to follow him to the window opening it for him hesitantly as he slipped his boots on.

He kissed your forehead once more before he began climbing out of the window.

“Gwaine,” you said making him pause his movements to look back at you as soon as he did you pulled him in for a kiss.

A kiss you hoped would convey your affection and feelings for him tell him how much you loved him and how much he meant to you and as he kissed back you felt him saying all those things too.

“Goodbye Y/N” Gwaine whispered as he pulled away.

“Goodbye Gwaine” you offered the biggest smile you could muster he simply nodded eyes lingering on you before he turned and made his way out of the window.

It was your understanding that Gwen and Arthur had had a night much like yours a last calm together before the storm Arthur never asked you about your night nor you his. It was something only you lovers would know and you both intended it to stay that way.

***

After a long month, the time for the ceremony had come. Your father and mother had traveled from their kingdom for this.

“You look beautiful my love,” your mother told you as the maid finished getting you ready it was the first time she’d seen you in your dress “Please leave us I’d like a moment alone with my daughter,” she asked the maids noticing your discomfort.

“I am sorry you were born into this my darling” she spoke once the maids had left “It’s not fair and I wish it could be different but I am so proud of you and the woman you’ve become and I know you will make an excellent queen one day” she finished kissing your forehead.

“I love you, Mother,” you told her hugging her tightly a few stray tears falling.

“Oh come now you shouldn’t cry on your wedding day I’ll give you a moment to yourself,” she told you leaving one last kiss on your cheek before exiting.

There was a gentle knock on your door as Merlin peaked his head in the room “I was told to come to fetch you the ceremony is about to start” he said stepping inside and offering you a hand “I know it doesn’t help but you look beautiful my lady” Merlin said as you walked down the hall towards you father waiting at the door.

“Thank you Merlin you are a good friend to me and Arthur,” you told him kissing his cheek softly as you made it to your father his cheeks burned bright red at the gesture bright smile never left his face.

And with that, you took your father's arm walking through the door towards your soon-to-be husband.

Arthur could not lie his breath hitched when he saw you you looked absolutely breathtaking.

As you made it to the alter your father let you go shaking Arthur’s hand with a whisper to take care of you before joining your mother and Uther on the front row.

“You look beautiful,” Arthur told you kissing your cheek and offering a head to help you up the altar.

“You look handsome as well” you smiled. Before the officiant cleared his throat starting the ceremony.

You blacked out at that moment your brain only coming back in to focus as the officiant asked Arthur if he took you to be his wife “I do” Arthur answered eyes never leaving yours as the man asked you the same “I do” You said trying to show as much confidence and bravery as Arthur had and has throughout this whole thing.

“By the power vested in me by God and the church of Camelot, I now pronounce you husband and wife Prince Arthur you may kiss you bride” As the man finished speaking Arthur took your face in his hands gently as if you would break were he to rough and pulled you in for a kiss.

The kiss was soft and surprisingly sweet it

it was a kiss that conveyed that while this may not be what either of you had planned you were still going to do everything in your power to make the other happy.

As quickly as it had come this kiss was over as you both pulled away surprisingly sad that it had ended so quickly but you both gained your composure as you turned towards the crowd hand in hand ready to face this new challenge with the other by your side.

“I give you Arthur and Y/N Pendragon prince and princess of Camelot!”

[tetsvhoe]

i've loved you since the day you rescued my hat.

i've loved you since the wind brought you to me.

– hey again, it’s gwen, your favorite hurt/comfort slut – acts of service, regret, and other love languages – 20-ish, she/her, INFP cancer crybaby combo – kuroo tetsuro’s canon gf (kuroo coded bf haver) – main @rantess—out of spite; gwen

[ ! ] BULLETIN

i’m not and will probably never be back here for good but i can never bring myself to delete or leave this community completely. please enjoy these relics of old writing and the occasional, very far-apart-spaced-in-between new ones as much as you like. :)

as much as i love writing for you guys, i simply do not have the luxury of time between life and law school to write on tumblr without any roi. so, i've been making efforts to monetize this blog without keeping content behind a paywall. i humbly ask that you continue to support my work through blogger, maybe click a few ads, and still engage with this tumblr account. ♡ your unwavering love in the past 4 years despite my inactivity is much appreciated, please continue supporting tetsvhoe/connekoma. >< ily guys.

[ ! ] MASTERLIST

# RULES BFY/BYI – i will try my best to tag content accordingly but please browse responsibly as i am not responsible for your experiences on the internet ♡ – mostly sfw but preferably 18+ only – mdni !! (as of 7/24) : connekoma:404 – language warning – tersuhima tolerator – this is a safe space, no hate, discrimination, or disrespect will be tolerated # REQUESTS requests are permanently closed, but well-meaning suggestions, headcanons, and conversations are ALWAYS welcome! FANDOMS mainly haikyuu, jjk, bnha but throw in literally whatever bonus: seventeen GENRES angst, fluff, humor, suggestive, can’t write smut to save my life FORMATS drabbles, headcanons, one-shots, smaus/texts

— all works tagged under —out of spite; gwen because i would most likely have no time to link everything

— angst/hurt [a] ; fluff/comfort [f] ; crack/humor [c] ; suggestive [s]

— ♡ personal faves

updated: 8/20/23

[ HCS ] 

[ SMAU ] 

# SERIES

afraid — iwaizumi hajime x f!reader filo smau [ong] if fate permits — kuroo x f!reader smau [ong]

# HAIKYUU

millennialcore [c] how many dicks are you choking on? [c/s] i’m breaking up with you | sorry wrong person [c] pretty boy [f] jealous boys [f] what about me [f]

[ HAIKYUU ]

— KARASUNO 

# TSUKISHIMA KEI

seeing your toxic ex [f] “bite your lip once more, i dare you” [s] i just put on lip gloss [f]

# KAGEYAMA TOBIO

seeing your toxic ex [f]

# HINATA SHOYO

seeing your toxic ex [f]

# YAMAGUCHI TADASHI

nostalgic for the moment [f]

# DAICHI SAWAMURA

how dare you [f]

— NEKOMA 

# KUROO TETSURO

♡ seeing your toxic ex [f] ♡ forever in a few hours [f] ♡ mentioning their ex during an argument [a/f] they get teased with someone else [a/f] ♡ pushing you away [a/f] ♡ i know who you pretend i am [a] ♡ regret and other cliches [a/f] baby i’m yours [f] oh no there’s only one court [f] i hope ur ok [f] i lost them [f] sober thoughts, drunk confessions [a/f] fluffy hair drabble they make you flinch [a/f] paper rings [a] how dare you [f] rubber ducks [f]

# KENMA KOZUME

♡ i know who you pretend i am [a] regret and other cliches [a/f] second best [a/f]

— AOBA JOHSAI 

# OIKAWA TOORU

seeing your toxic ex [f] “sorry, is that supposed to impress me?” [f] oh no there’s only one court [f] i hope ur ok [f]

# IWAIZUMI HAJIME

♡ mentioning their ex during an argument [a/f] seeing your toxic ex [f] i know who you pretend i am [a] regret and other cliches [a/f] 505 [a/s] the simple things [f] i just put on lip gloss [f]

# MATSUKAWA ISSEI

seeing your toxic ex [f] i lost them [f]

— FUKURODANI 

# BOKUTO KOUTARO

♡ seeing your toxic ex [f] i know who you pretend i am [a] regret and other cliches [a/f]

# AKAASHI KEIJI

“you’re an idiot.” “but you love me.” [f] i know who you pretend i am [a] regret and other cliches [a/f] trees [a/f]

— SHIRATORIZAWA 

# TENDOU SATORI

“you couldn’t handle me even if i came with instructions.” [f]

— INARIZAKI 

# SUNA RINTARO

seeing your toxic ex [f] ♡ they get teased with someone else [a/f] ♡ i know who you pretend i am [a] ♡ regret and other cliches [a/f] “give me one reason why i shouldn’t leave.” [a/f] focus [a] hickey prank [f] i hope ur ok [f] i lost them [f] they make you flinch [a/f]

# MIYA ATSUMU

mentioning their ex during an argument [a/f] seeing your toxic ex [f] “god, i love your hands.” “let’s put them to good use then.” [s] ♡ “where have you been all my life?” “hiding from you.” [f] i know who you pretend i am [a] regret and other cliches [a/f] hickey prank [f] i lost them [f] they make you flinch [a/f] how dare you [f]

# MIYA OSAMU

seeing your toxic ex [f] i miss the old u [a] i just put on lip gloss [f] how dare you [f]

— OTHER

# TERUSHIMA YUUJI

all fun and games until someone catches feelings [a/f] pillow talk [f] cigarette kisses [a/f]

# SAKUSA KIYOOMI

seeing your toxic ex [f] ♡ i know who you pretend i am [a] regret and other cliches [a/f] hickey prank [f]

[ JUJUTSU KAISEN ] 

# NANAMI KENTO

whatever you do, dont [f] sweet [f/s]

# GOJO SATORU

sticky [s]

# INUMAKI TOGE

indigo [f]

content belongs to @tetsvhoe. do not plagiarize.

[siribaes]

crusin’

han lue x (oc) [ black!fem! ]

a late night, open road, passenger side driving around los angeles with her favorite guy.

contents: fluff. some angst. smutty thoughts. brief smoking cigarette mention. brief mention of death. rival gang dynamics. mild peril han drives fast ofc <3. nothing too major.

suggested tunes📻: protect my heart by kelis, it’s whatever by aaliyah, luxurious by gwen stefani, run to the sun by n.e.r.d., boogie 2nite by tweet, try again by aaliyah

author’s note: just a little somethin’ featuring my number one guy han <3. this was heavily inspired by romeo must die, i loved jet and aaliyah’s dynamic & this takes place after better luck tomorrow and before fast and furious/tokyo drift. y’all lmk if i should make this into a fic…🤔 / not edited or proofread

. . . ZOOOOM!

an electric blue, 1995 mazda widebody fd rx7 flys down the street. driving through lights, regardless of the color change. the wind brushes against chickie’s cheeks as the car veered left. she stretches her arm out the window, she hummed. the air is a bit chilly but it feels good against her skin. the mazda slowed down at a red light.

“i thought you said you wanted to cruise. it feels like you’re racin’,” chickie murmurs pulling her arm back inside. she turned toward the driver’s side.

he glances at her, his lips forming into a lopsided grin. “was cooped up, haven’t been behind the wheel all day, let me flex,”

flex he did.

chickie’s heart fluttered watching his skillful hands maneuver the gear shift with ease. his nimble fingers tap on the steering wheel to the rhythm of the music. a part of her mind wonders how his hand would fit into hers or how the rough callous on his palms would feel against her skin.

“can we stop at the store? i want some snacks,” chickie spoke aloud. she focused her eyes on the road and away from from his hands.

“it’s one up ahead,” with one hand, he effortlessly maneuvers the wheel, his palm gently guiding it as the car turns at a right corner.

so smooth.

the madza slowly pulls into a spot across from a brightly, colored convenience store. chickie unbuckles her seat belt.

“you want anything?”

“nah, i’ll just share with you,” chickie playfully rolls her eyes. she steps out of the car and heads straight into the store.

chickie comes out minutes later with a boat load of snacks and drinks. already, half way done with her snickers, she almost chokes, from she sees. her friend, her favorite guy.

han leans against the car, his body, totally relaxed like he doesn’t have a care in the world. a cigarette hangs from his full lips, as han rakes a hand though his inky, black tresses. the street is quiet as the plastic bag swishes back and forth. with every step, chickie feels like her heart is gonna leap out of her throat.

she can’t really pin-point when it happened or how it happened but it just did. it was like chickie went to bed one way and woke up another. every little thing han lue did set her a flame, even simple things like tonight, calling her up at 1:00 AM asking if she wanted to go for a ride. she all but leapt out of her bed room window when heard the engine of the madza coming down the street.

as exhilarating as her crush on han was she knew that it wouldn’t go anywhere. he was her best friend and on top of that the growing rivalry between his crew and her cousins, both vying for control over parts of south-east la, didn’t add much to the equation. in fact it subtracted from it. so chickie just settled for her mushy, unrequited feelings and distracted herself with other things. this time, nitpicking han’s smoking habits.

“i thought you were quitting,” chickie hoists herself on the hood of han’s car. she digs into the bag, pulling out soda and a pack of twinkies.

a week prior, han told chickie that he was going to quit, cold turkey. that and some other ramblings of needing to get out of “this place”. over the course of their friendship, chickie can tell when han is tired or sleep deprived. typically a man of few words, he becomes talkative and super rambly when exhausted. there was a small part of that was happy han was quitting, but she should’ve known better, old habits die hard.

han takes a long pull. he blows the smoke away from chickie’s direction. “i am. haven’t had a cig in three days,”

“but you said you went cold turkey,” chickie takes a bite of her twinkie.

“listen,” han leans towards chickie, “i’ll go cold turkey when you tell y’re pops about your new jewelry,” he reached towards her stomach and lightly flicked her belly button piercing.

chickie squatted his hand away. “boy, please another piercing isn’t gonna hurt anyone. my body, my choice. besides, cigarettes aren’t good for you,”

han chuckles. he takes another pull, blowing the smoke up towards the sky. he shrugged. “does it matter? health isn’t my priority. especially the way i’m livin’,”

chickie frowns. “i don’t like when you talk like that,”

han take another pull, longer than the previous. the cigarette is a nothing but a stubby bud now. he flicks it away. slowly, he turns and faces her.

“you worry about me too much,”

“i feel like i don’t worry enough,” chickie said quietly. she avoids his eyes, keeping them toward the lights of the convenience store.

“you hoggin’ all the snacks,” before chickie could respond, han pulls her hand towards him. a prickly, chill runs down her spine. The roughness of han’s callouses feel good against her skin. frozen in place, chickie watches han lean down and bite the twinkie in her hand.

she feels everything.

the slight, soft-wetness of han’s mouth on her skin. his nimble tongue as it gently slides and swirls around the tips of chickie’s fingers. her works in over time, completely thudding against her chest, as han pulls away from her. for second, chickie sees a certain glint in the deep, brown pools of his eyes.

he chews. han smirks at her.

“there’s a race on saturday. you should come,” han says, leaning back, casually.

chickie took a sip of her soda. hoping for the coolness of the drink to cool her down. she takes another sip and thinks, if he could do that, so could i.

“i dunno,” chickie trails. she innocently, fiddled with her bracelet, playing with the race-car charm, the same one han got her a year ago, in honor of the mutual love for cars. she looks at him, batting her eyelashes, subtly, “i might be, busy,”

han’s eye brow rose. “busy?”

“yeah, i might have plans, or something,”

“what, like a date?” chickie notices a slight change in han’s demeanor. his jaw tightens, emphasizing the angles of his cheekbones.

chickie attempts to channel her best han impression, shrugging her shoulders in the most nonchalant way. han grows quiet, slowly nodding his head. he leans off the car and positions himself in front of her. in quick movements, han pulls chickie close. fingers flutter across her exposed stomach.

han tickles her.

“han! stop, please! o-okay, okay, okay! i’ll come, i can’t breathe,” chickie squeals, attempting to push han away from her.

“say you’ll come,” han somehow managed to snake a hand to the back of chickie’s neck. he gently holds her in place, while he continues to tickle her.

“ooo-okay! i will come, please,” han eases off of her. he watched as chickie caught her breath. she shoves han’s shoulder, “asshole,”

they laugh.

“seriously though,” han rolls his shoulder, keeping his gaze on chickie, “i need you there. i wanna see my favorite girl,”

chickie smiles, gently. the flames of her unrequited crush roaring back inside of her. han loops an arm around chickie’s shoulder, she leans her head against him. savoring this moment, allowing herself a little leeway to dream about what could’ve been.

[conniesrockstargf]

i love those mood boards? you made for huxley and sweetheart do you think you could make something similar with babe or angel (or anyone your posts have been some of my favorite under the tag recently only if you feel like it of course)

OH EM GHOUL MY FIRST REQUEST?! OH GHOUL I'M SO EXCITED. NICE TO MEET YOU ANONY! I'm so happy to hear that you love my lil collages, they've become a hobby of mine and i have so much fun making them. I hope you'll make yourself comfortable on my blog.

I worked on this for a minute i won't lie lmfao. I hope you like it!!

Angel 🪽

[burt-reynolds]

I love Mexico and Mexicans so much honestly I’m glad I was exposed to enough Discourse™️ growing up to give me some sense otherwise I’d probably be full on Lanita in that video where she’s like “I just want to let you know that like I’m only one person” Gwen Stefani Luxurious music video culture vulture about it

[alexandersimpleton]

This song fits Frederick really well I think. Like, at first when he was getting close to Gwen, he just felt like being himself around her. His blunt, rude, dorky true self. He treated her kindly because he wanted her to be happy, his original motive for doing most things before he met Them. His unmasking of himself bled into the rest of his behavior too, and he became nicer all around, if still sassy and temperamental. He was happy with himself.

And then he met the CPC. They didn't like him for who he was, they liked him for who he was now. They told him, to his face, that they hated his judgmental side, that they hated his sassy side. They went on and on about how he wasn't "like that" anymore. And Frederick started doubting. He looked at his brothers, who were now treating him kindly and had nearly completely stopped beating him, and realized that change aligned with his change in personality. The CPC wouldn't hurt him, maybe even treat him like he was normal, if he was just kind and forgiving like they wanted him to be. And so, like his kind side had before to keep himself safe, his "bratty" side went into hiding.

Except this time it actually worked. His brothers treated him kinder, and they included him in their conversations and actually loved him because now he was worthy of their love. He still slipped up around Gwen (she was just so comforting and accepting), but she still loved him somehow. Eventually he grew to hate that other side to him. The part of him that wanted to make cruel remarks whenever he disagreed with someone. That bratty part that demanded things that he didn't deserve.

And then the gala happened. That bratty, cruel, spoiled part of his soul that he hated had hurt her. He had HURT HER. And then Blaine called him a loser and left him to the rats. Because he wasn't good enough. Frederick had thought that he was hopeless. A worthless loser that realized much to late how important it was to repress himself.

And he ended up getting the talk from "Laverne" and realizing he was in charge of his own life. He escaped the prison and locked that horrid, disgusting side of himself deep down where nobody would find it.

His smile was fake. In truth he hated doing this. He felt like he deserved for people to treat him like a person. He felt like he wanted to just be him without judgment. But nobody would ever see that grotesque hatred behind his loving, neon green eyes that shined with a neon green like that you'd find on a plastic children's toy, manufactured to be as appealing as possible. After all, he was Frederick! He didn't deserve such luxuries

When he made it to the CPC, despite how he tried, his other side still leaked out. He tried to tell them. He hoped they'd do what they always did. He hoped they'd comfort him, tell him he was wrong and hug him like they did Gwen. But they only told him the truth. That he was the problem. Blaine hadn't done anything wrong. Blaine was right.

And Frederick didn't slip up again. It didn't matter how the thought of what Blaine had said made his tongue burn with bile. It didn't matter how his reflection refused to show his face through the rip like that in a page. It didn't matter how the world seemed so much greyer than it has with Gwen. Frederick had already climbed out of his hole. And now he was doing something harder

Frederick was climbing a mountain now, and at the top was the love he wanted. And so he climbed higher.

And higher and higher and higher and higher and higher and higher and higher and higher and higher and higher and higher and higher and higher and higher and higher and

[storytimewriting]

Weight of the Universe

This short story is vaguely inspired by a good friend of mine. I wish her nothing but the best life has to offer.

I think when people are young, they feel as though it is them against the world. Every emotion feels overwhelming, and when you feel yourself struggle when no one else visibly is, you feel alone. However, it is important to remember that everyone struggles in one way or another. No one is truly alone.

This is quite a sad piece, that alludes to some dark undertones, so be cautious in your reading.

Also, this piece, as well as all others, are posted first on my Patreon! Subscribers to my Patreon are given first access to all my writing, as well as special access to exclusive pieces! Here's the link:

patreon.com/WritingRequests

I appreciate you supporting my writing journey.

I hope you like this piece! Let me know what you think.

If you like this piece, you should read its sister story:

Wasted Potential

(word count: about 2.4k)

Enjoy :)

xx gwen <3

________

Weight of the Universe

She looked like the perfect girl-next-door. She had long, blonde hair. Not bleach blonde or platinum; it was softer than that. The kind of blonde that gets lighter as it falls and glows golden when the sun hits it. Her hair bounced and swayed with her movement as she walked. I couldn’t help but admire her as I trailed slightly behind my best friend.

I always tried to talk myself out of being jealous of her. I know it isn’t healthy to be jealous of someone I love so dearly, but I can’t help it. She had everything I’ve always wanted and is everything I’ve always wanted to be.

Aurora is an angel. She always has been. The room glowed golden when she was born with a halo above her head and wings growing from her spine. Her hair absorbed the warmth of the sunlight and has shined the same color ever since.

I didn’t have that same luxury. I was born in the darkest part of the night. My hair grew from the darkness, black coating my head. My eyes shared the same lack of light. Though, the blackness didn’t stop at surface level; it seeped into my skin and touched my heart, my soul. I have been tainted by darkness from the moment I was born.

I think that may be why I always found comfort in the dark when I was young. I grew up in a loud home, but I didn’t like the noise. The crashing, the banging, the breaking- I would do anything to escape it. My favorite place to be was on the floor of my closet. Lights off and hands over my ears, I found peace in the darkness.

Around this same time was when I found a light- when I met Aurora. The ray of sunshine and her family were new to town, and she was new to my school. She was smiley and bubbly, and didn’t give me much of a choice in being her friend. I can’t help but think it was for the better.

She would take me to her house after school and we would play together. We’d pretend to be mermaids, longing for the ocean and bonded to the moon. Though, I was too young to stay with her after dark. When I’d leave the comfort of her, she’d tell me to look at the moon.

“Don’t forget the moon is watching over us!” she’d yell from her front door.

Sitting alone in the darkness of my room, I opened the blinds to get a glimpse of the moon. I’d convince myself the crashing in my house was simply the crashing of the ocean waves. The banging on my walls was that of a ship, being knocked around from a storm. The breaking was that same ship, falling victim to the ocean. And I was a mermaid, untouched by the chaos surrounding me.

Though, I couldn’t be untouched by the chaos forever. I should have known better than to think I could be awarded peace. It wasn’t what I was made for. The stories I told myself were harder to believe when I was caught in the middle of the storm. I could no longer believe the noises were the cause of the powerful ocean when I would witness and experience them first hand.

Red cheeks and black eyes painted from the back of a hand coated my face. Pressing questions were brushed off with white lies, until it became second nature. Honesty was a luxury I couldn’t afford. Even to Aurora. I refused to taint her light with my darkness. Even as a child, I knew better.

We were playing mermaids when she asked about the marks on my face again. “Are there monsters in your home?” Her blue eyes, the eyes that shined the same color as the sky on a sunny day, looked at me so sadly. I was tainting the light of the sun.

“There were pirates in my ocean last night. I had to fight them off. They may have got me a few times but I defeated them!” I proclaimed proudly.

She giggled, seemingly happy with my answer. Or at least, distracted enough not to question it further. Aurora would never press an issue for too long if she knew it would only serve to upset people. From the moment I met her, I could tell she valued making other people happy. She was good at it, too.

Her home quickly became my favorite place to be. She was kind to me, her parents were kind to me, and her house was quiet. As a young child, it was so easy to envy her. Every night I was back under my own parent’s roof, I would sob into my pillow, begging whoever was listening to let me trade lives with her.

When we started to get older, Aurora only got more beautiful. Boys and girls were drawn to her, wanting to be her or be with her. I was not immune to her charms, either. I fell right in line with everyone else. The only difference was I had already been there for years.

When Aurora started using makeup, so did I. She would darken her eyelashes and paint her cheeks a rosy pink. I, on the other hand, was figuring out how to cover bruises and handprints. She learned different ways to do her hair: growing her golden locks long and curling them perfectly. I, on the other hand, cut my hair short. I think short hair suited me better.  

We were polar opposites. From head to toe, from skin to soul, we could not have been more different. She would walk beside me, a beaming ray of light with her dark and gloomy shadow. I felt silly next to her.

A boy had come up to talk to her- to flirt with her, rather. His smile would falter when his eyes flickered briefly from her to me. I was the storm people would brace themselves for after a beautiful, sunny day.

I learned to leave Aurora alone when boys would flirt with her. I would walk away, and she would always come and find me after, questioning why I left her. I wanted to scoff in her face, but her eyes looked at me so softly, and I reminded myself that it is not her fault she is an angel. She didn’t know what it was like to be friends with someone who had and was everything you could ever want and want to be.

I tried so hard not to be angry. I tried so hard not to be resentful. I always tried so hard but it never seemed to matter. I was always going to feel this way. I was always going to be this person. I was destined to live my life in the darkness and the noise.

I distanced myself from Aurora for the next few weeks. It was exhausting and pointless to keep fighting the darkness, and I didn’t want her dragged down with me. At first, she fought it. She was pushy and clingy, but even I knew the right words to keep her away. It killed me inside to hurt her, but I convinced myself it was justified: a little hurt now saved her from unbearable heartache later.

It only took a few days for her to be surrounded by new people. I told myself it didn’t bother me to see her happy without me, but it was hard to ignore the twisting feeling in my stomach. I figured the feeling would be easier to ignore if I ignored the sunshine altogether.

The next few days felt monotonous. Wake up, go to school, come home, hide in my room, fall asleep. Life felt pointless. Hopeless. Was I truly destined to live a life of misery? I preferred the boredom to the noise, but I didn’t feel any different. I was still filled with nothingness. I had never realized emptiness could be so heavy. I had the weight of the universe sitting on my chest and yet no part of the universe wanted to be a part of me. I was alone. Truly alone.

Without a light, I knew I would be consumed by the darkness. With one, I feared the darkness would consume us both. There was no winning this fight.

In the nights that violence made an appearance, I would revert back to that same scared little kid. I would tell myself the broken furniture were pieces of wood fallen from a shipwreck. The glass bottles littered around the living room were actually floating in my ocean, after drunken sailors would toss them overboard. The pushing and slapping were simply a wicked part of being a mermaid; the ocean grew wild and powerful during tough storms. I just had to wait out the storm.

After one particularly rough night, I didn’t go to school the next few days. The marks that lingered on my skin were not easily covered. Uncovered marks led to too many questions I wasn’t willing to answer.

I got back into the habit of hiding in the dark on my closet floor. I yearned for the silence. When the chaos of my home would finally settle, I’d leave the safety of my closet to sit on my bed and look at the moon. The beauty in the sky seemed to only shine brighter the darker it got around it. I longed for the days I could convince myself she was looking over me. The days I could convince myself the haunting noise was that of a storm, and wreckage that could cause no harm to me.

I couldn’t help but blame myself for the destruction of my life. I knew I was dealt a bad hand, but I was the one who threw away every Ace I was handed. I left the matches I was given out to drown in the storm, and I wasn’t sure I’d ever find them again.

I wanted to go back in time and fix everything I had broken. But even if I could pick up all the broken pieces of my life, I’d still never be able to make a home. Besides, a home was never meant to be built within a person.

Still, I longed for a home. I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life alone in the dark. I missed the warmth of the sun on my skin and having to squint when the light was too bright. Even if my soul is tied to the blackness of the night, I want to enjoy the beauty of the day.

When I finally returned to school, Aurora was still surrounded by the same group of people. I watched her laugh and smile and find happiness in others. I couldn’t remember if she had ever found that same happiness in me.

I spent weeks watching from a distance. It was almost humorous that I could long for the same life I once yearned to leave. The more time I spent watching, the deeper the hopelessness would sink in. I couldn’t help but wonder why I allowed myself to live a life so unwanted. Unwanted by friends, unwanted by family, unwanted by myself.

It was almost too easy when I finally decided to leave. A bag packed with the few things I cared about hung on my back. I didn’t think of food or money or realistic items I may need. They didn’t matter. It was hard to care about anything. I didn’t even really care if I lived or died. I knew I would die if I let myself relive this cycle of misery again and again, so I may as well have seen if I could survive escaping it.

Alone at the bus stop, I couldn’t stop the tears from falling. Too many emotions consumed me, but most of all I was angry. I was angry at my parents. I was angry at myself. I was angry at the universe. I was so angry that I was the only one who wanted to tear their skin open to escape from themselves.

No one else seemed to be screaming inside their own mind. No one else seemed to be haunted by darkness. No one else needed to run away from the only life they’ve lived in order to keep from dying. I was alone. I was always so alone and the reality was finally breaking past the surface.

“Lilith?” I was convinced my eyes and ears were deceiving me when sunlight appeared in the middle of the night. “What are you doing here?”

I wasn’t sure Aurora had ever seen me cry before. I rarely let the darkness break the surface, and I especially tried to shield her from it. She looked concerned. With shaky hands and a knot in my throat, I could barely speak. My mouth opened to explain myself but only a broken sob left my lips. She held me then, while I cried. It was so warm within her arms I almost forgot we were in the cold of night.

“I need to go,” I sobbed. “I can’t do this anymore.”

She held me tighter. “I know,” she whispered. “But I’m here, and you’re okay now,” she assured me. “You’re safe.”

The bus came and went. I stayed sitting on the cold bench, engulfed in the warmth of her arms. I had every reason to leave, but I only needed one to stay. She held me, spoke to me, comforted me long after I had stopped crying. She told me the world was bigger than the house I grew up in; that I was worth more than the perception of others. She promised me a better tomorrow, and made me promise I would be here to experience it.

I wasn’t sure how long we stayed like that, but I would have died in that spot if she let me. It had been weeks since I had felt safe. It had been weeks since I had felt the warmth of the sun on my skin, and I wasn’t so easily going to let it go this time.

Looking back, I should have known Aurora would be the one to find me. I should have known she would be the one to talk me off the ledge. Though, overwhelmed with emotion, I never thought to ask what she was doing there in the first place.

[shefanispeculator]

It’s Gwen Stefani’s birthday, and Blake Shelton is showing his lady some love, while Carson Daly is cracking jokes.

To celebrate the “Luxurious” singer’s 54th birthday on Oct. 3, the country crooner shared a black-and-white photo of the two lovingly looking at each other.

“Happy Birthday to my favorite all time person ever born in any time period in the history of mankind!!!!! I love you @gwenstefani!!!!!!!!!!” Shelton captioned the sweet Instagram post.

The sweet sentiment didn’t go unnoticed by the couple’s fans, but it was Carson's comment that got people laughing.

The TODAY co-host replied on the post, “Get a room...” while adding a green throwing-up face.

Many people replied to Carson with laughing-crying emoji, while one person wrote, “I was gonna say ‘how rude’ before I saw who commented. lol.”

The banter is nothing new between the longtime friends. Aside from knowing Stefani since his “Total Request Live” days, Carson also worked alongside the singer and Shelton on “The Voice," where the now-married couple met.

As the host of “The Voice,” Carson witnessed Stefani and Shelton’s love blossom and was the couple’s officiant at their 2021 wedding.

Stefani also received birthday love from her current “Voice” colleague John Legend, who wrote, “Happy birthday Gwen!” on Shelton’s post. Camila Cabello, Brie and Nikki Garcia, and more wished her a happy birthday too.

Stefani recently chatted with TODAY.com about being a part of the NBC singing competition show without her husband, who ended his 23-season run earlier this year.

“It’s really different being on the show without him, obviously,” she said. “I miss him so bad on the show ... but at the same time, it hasn’t been as hard as I thought it was going to be.”

She said with a laugh that she doesn't ask him for advice or try to discuss what's going on on the set: “I feel like I have to be careful pillow-talk-wise because I don’t want him to have PTSD. You know, we don’t really talk about (the show) that much.”

She added that “sometimes I’ll tell him, like, one thing that happened,” but he hears what's going on because of the coaches' group text. 

[harrykim]

Books read this week

I've been reading a lot so I felt like doing a small breakdown for the books I've read in the past week:

Don't Want You Like a Best Friend by Emma R. Alban: F/F victorian romance, sweet but nothing special. Chapters flip between the two girls, Beth and Gwen; Gwen is the far more interesting one but Beth is likeable enough (just not that interesting); Beth's mother and Gwen's father are also more interesting — they were previously interested in each other, back before they both married, though they're now both widowed. Beth and her mother are on a time limit to have Beth married as they're losing their home to Beth's uncle and don't have much wealth. Gwen on the other hand has pretty much no interest in marriage. Predictably the girls fall for each other. Doesn't get that deep on social commentary but it isn't devoid of it either. As said, it's sweet, and the epilogue even sets up the M/M romance sequel, which I probably won't read but who knows. 3/5.

Floating Hotel by Grace Curtis; loved it. Scifi about a fancy spaceship hotel called the Abeona, though by the time of the story it's seen better days. If you're here for fast paced, action focused plot you should skip this one, but that doesn't mean there's nothing to say. Takes place over a pretty short but unspecified period of time. The chapters are each focused on a character, either a staff member or guest of the hotel, as the storyline happens usually in the background. Each chapter typically goes through a small period of time on the ships journey and flashbacks to their lives. Each chapter is interspersed with 'Lamplighter Dispatches'; the Lamplighter is an anonymous figure sending out criticism and even secrets of the Empire, including the secret to the Emperors 500 year lifespan; both the anti imperial movement and the government have tracked the Lamplighter to the Abeona. The Abeona is a ship that typically the not truly wealthy, but those who wish to seem so patronise, a false luxury seen in the wear on the ship from it's heyday decades ago, and the staff are often people who have left their old lives behind; their flashbacks typically show issues within the Empire, justifying why they end up where they have. The time passage does jump around a little though I didn't find it remotely confusing frankly, it was easy to follow and very clear when things took place in a sequential order from a previous chapter; though this could've been strengthened as the chapters of part 3 do make it feel like the passage of time is something to keep an eye on, whereas previous do not. So again, personally loved it but obviously it won't be for everyone. Could do with a better title, also I don't think the goodreads summary is that good, but it's not a big deal to me. 5/5.

Accidentally in Love with my Best Friend's Brother by Abby Greyson: Romance. In name only because it's fucking terrible don't waste your time even if you like the tropes, those being; fake dating, best friends brother (duh), bullshit nothing rivalry, uh football?, rip off gossip girl with an 'everyone in the whole town ships it but they're oblivious'. I don't understand that last one at all, she's a fucking primary school teacher why would anyone give a fuck about her. None of the characters exist outside the romance in any way. Now this is typical of many romances but it was particularly bad here because it tried to pretend any of them had lives. Their character traits were Smart and Orphan for her and Football for him. Not even going to dignify them with their names. They also just develop whole complexes that never before and never truly will affect their character or personality in any way. Horrific and overly repeated jokes, like I'm talking 5 times a chapter, and the chapters are SHORT. The book literally ends with an 'and everyone clapped' part. Well, before the married with 2 kids epilogue. The writing is also just not good lol. Minus one million/5.

Love, Lies, and Cherry Pie by Jackie Lau: Cute, sweet. Fake dating that doesn't feel drawn out and fanfictiony. Emily is great, and her relationship with Mark is nice; he could be more developed but honestly the best part of the book is Emily's relationship to her mother, who's been trying to set her up with Mark for years; this is why the fake dating happens. Emily feels guilt over not living up to her parents expectations, while also feeling disrespected as an adult, being a published author who also works as a barista and tutor to pay the bills, and lives with a roommate, all at 33. Meanwhile her 4 sisters are all married and have more 'respectable' and stable professions, and children too. The writing does feel a bit... it falls into making Emily a bit too 'relatable' with how often she gets mad at bait twitter articles about millennials being entitled or whatever, which is fine a few times but would feel more justified if it leaned into the authors needing a social media presence to sell their books, but Emily only really occasionally takes photos of her food to post and that's about it, which is fine on it's own but I do think it could've made the aforementioned social media reflections work better. 4/5.