#i love my gross attic boy

[yakumtsaki]

-Alright, everyone, settle down.. I SAID SETTLE DOWN, SUGAR.

-I have settled!

-Yes you’ve settled into my attic alright, deadbeat loser, now sit your ass down. Alright.. I have gathered all of you here tonight to discuss the deadly events of Cyneswith’s party.. And I’m not referring to the death of her youth.

-Daddy!! Mean!!!🌸

-SILENCE. Now, let’s recount that fateful day from the start..

-Grandpa, can I just say something?

-Oh my- what is it, Sugar?

-I think I should be exempt from this since I was otherwise occupied on the fateful day!

-Yes, we all remember you occupying Jessica Picasso's vagina! Have you no shame, you absolute degenerate?? First you break up your family over that Don clone and then you bring her to my house???

-I love her and I don’t care what any of you think!

-That’s good because we all think you’re a loser, now shut up! Alright Cyn, tell us what happened. 

-Well, I had been having a really hard time with the constant cheating and making up with Donnie and iVan, huhu..💗

-Then iVan got that stupid doctor job and brought Neon Vest Downtownie over and I got caught cheating by Donnie again..🌸

-And then Neon Vest Downtownie tried to have his first kiss with me and I was like, um PLEASE, just because I’m in love with you and publicly banged you in a Downtown hot tub you think I’m gonna kiss you??💗

-Then I tried to make up with Donnie and I forgot to use Sugar first, I mean the voodoo doll not my nephew Sugar, and so Don rejected me but Neon Vest caught me cheating and I got slapped again!!🌸

-So finally it was like enough is enough and I rolled the want to get a job one day away from elderhood!💗

-And then I got fired that very same evening and then I had my party! Huhu! So I’m not at fault for the deadly event because I wasn’t even here!!!🌸

-You just said you were here, having your yard affairs!

-Daddy it’s not my fault my milkshake literally brings all the boys to the yard! Right, Donnie?💗

-Right, moonflower. 

-See?? So why doesn’t whoever I’m pointing at tell us what they were doing?? I don’t even know who it is, oh right, it’s Shajar!🌸

-I got this, darling. Me and Shaj were busy all day.

-Yes, we were busy all day!

-Ya right, doing what?💗

-Making preparations for YOUR party, Cyn, you ungrateful brat!

-If a meteor hits us we won’t have to go to fucking Cyn’s party!

-Ugh, if only, my little turbocuck.

-So if it’s a crime that I wanted to throw an amazing party for my sister so we can finally put old enmities behind us, then lock me up!

-Is it just me or are we conducting this investigation into the deadly event in the stupidest way possible? 

-Spoken like someone who has something to hide, huhu!🌸

-We have to get to the bottom of this, Sophito, Sandy Fairchild is dead again! What if the next person to die is someone who actually matters?

-Well Liz and I have ironclad alibies, we were at work-

-That’s right, and we definitely didn’t get sent home early for banging in the supply closet..

-Then I went to visit my dads..

-And I brought over Klaus to procreate with Kitana..

-And Xander to procreate with Servilia! So there you go, you’re welcome..

-And then I shockingly rolled the want to have a baby so I put on my sexy yet classy lingerie and Sophito knocked me up right on Jojo’s bed!

-I sure did!

-GROSS, is that why I keep finding teeth in my bed?!

-Ya, some of my teeth implants fell out due to impact.

-OH MY- You know what, let’s wrap this shitshow up. The night of the party..

-..I was fixing iVan who had broken down for the billionth time due to exhaustion from his ridiculous new medical job..

-That he had to get to fulfill his LTW since he was always near aspiration failure! Courtesy of catching me cheating and getting beat up by Donnie in his hot little hat, huhu!💗  

-I can’t believe how much I hate my children. Let us continue..

-With iVan working, we have been left unbutlered. Sandy returned from work starving and stinking, and brought with her Glitched Butler #2, reminding us of why we can’t replace iVan with a NPC butler..

-At which point I spurred into action and told him to leave, no need to thank me, huhu!🌸

-No one is thanking you, Cyneswith.

-Daddy you’re so mean to me today!!!💗

-Maybe because you’ve turned my life’s biggest scientific achievement into your sex toy! 

-It’s not my fault you made him so hot!!!🌸

-Oh Sandy, you lucky dead zombie, it should have been me! Let’s figure out who’s at fault already so I can go wait for the wolf! So Sandy returns from work. Cyneswith also returns having been hilariously fired on her first day..

-I throw Cyneswith’s birthday party so I can invite the wolf to it..

-The only reason you threw me a party was to fulfil your deranged werewolf want??💗

-Yes. I also order groceries since no one has bothered to THE ENTIRE DAY and our fridge is completely empty.

-The wolf arrives, I make some valuable progress with him..

-The other, non-wolf guests also start to gather but who cares, certainly not me..

-Cyneswith blows her candles surrounded by her loved ones and Neon Vest Downtownie..

-And grows up into a hideous hippie outfit I’m glad I wasn’t around to see.

-The fireworks Cyneswith insisted on go off..

-Their sound covering Sandy’s anguished cries as she starves to death due to our fridge being empty while Gunther is singing karaoke..

-And is then disgusted by her lack of hygiene. Can’t blame him.

-I go over to mourn Sandy as Cyneswith is scared by the ghost of Victor and pisses her pants..

-You could have left that part out!🌸

-I know.

-And finally, Sophie dances on Sandy’s grave. 

-It was a somber song of mourning, of course. 

-It was ‘I Will Survive’.

-Now as this recap has clearly showed, not only did none of you order groceries the entire day, but you didn’t even bother accepting the lifesaving order I made, leading to Sandy Fairchild’s completely preventable second death! So fess up! Who was it?? Who saw the delivery person and ignored them???

-Ugh, Jojo, no offense, but since you ordered the groceries, wouldn’t you be the logical choice to accept the the delivery?

-Oh right, of course, I’m sorry Don, I forgot that if I don’t do everything around YOU IDIOTS WILL LITERALLY STARVE TO DEATH.

-No, I’m just saying that you know-

-OOOOOOH MY GOD. I REMEMBER NOW. Ok grandpa, don’t be mad.

-Choose your next words at your own peril, Sugar.

-Ok so I was in crypt, getting my Jessica Picasso on and her jewelry off, if you know what I’m talking about..

-We don’t know what you’re talking about.

-Come on Liz, you know how I like to eat jewelry, what do you think happened to your pearl necklace? 

-EWWWWW

-Ya ya whatever, so the delivery guy got confused like they do when a house has two doors, and he knocked on the crypt instead of the front door. So I automatically answer and accept the groceries and was totally gonna get them to the fridge but I was literally DRIPPING of Jessica Picasso-

-THAT’S IT I’M GONNA PUKE

-Oh you’re one to talk Liz, remember our pool table in uni? ANYWAY, so I accepted the groceries but since there’s no fridge in the crypt despite my REPEATED REQUESTS, I then automatically put them on the nearest table!

-THERE IS NO EMPTY TABLE IN THE CRYPT, MORON

-Oh yes there is, grandpa..

-The empty table slot where your urn should be! But you refuse to die, so in a way, this is all your fault!

-MY FAULT?!?!?! MY. FAULT?????? YOU ARE ALL DOOMED WITHOUT ME. We’re done here, I call final curtain on this meeting.

-But it really seems like this was all your fault, Daddy💗

-Ya Dad, when are you gonna call final curtain on your life? 

-Also no offense but who even cares that Sandy died?🌸

-True, I don’t understand why we had to have this meeting.

-REALLY. You ‘don’t understand’ why we had to have a meeting about you people being unable to feed yourselves?!?

-I understand, Jojo.

-FINALLY. THANK YOU SOPHIE

-I knew I made the right call leaving my entire fortune to you, and before I die, I’d like to legally adopt you! You two, you’re disowned. 

-Oh Jojo, you’re gonna make me cry!

-Shaj, what the fuck is happening?💗

-I’m married to the Union heir, that’s what’s happening! HUHU

[yesyourstalker]

Mahi: ..….... *sleep*...........*sleep*...........*sleep*

Neta:......*eating*.....*eating*...... Really mahi?

News anchor: it's going to be a cloudy day today folks. low humidity with a slight breeze out we do have a slight chance of rain tonight and off of this week so enjoy this day while we have it

[beep beep]

Gai(deadbeat): I'm out side

Neta: I'll be out in a sec

Neta: mahi get up you're closing the store today remember. You're late

Neta: mahi!

Mahi: mmmmmm.....

Neta: mahi!.

Mahi: I'm up! I'm up ........ ...... can I get another pain killer before I go?

Neta: *sigh*...........there might be some in the cabinet

Mahi: alright.......... which bottles is it you have tons of pills in here

Neta:*sigh*.......with the yellow label in the white bottle...*huff* let me get it ..................here, this one isn't so strong take one

Mahi: alright. Cod ......

Neta: you're already running late. Just be at work by 4:00 okay? We need a manager to close the store

Mahi: yeah yeah. let me just take a quick shower and I'm off

Neta: alright. See ya in two days

Mahi: Where are you going exactly?

Neta: it's a long complicated story that doesn't concern you. See ya

_______________________________________________

Neta:.... alright sorry for the wait....

Gai: no worries. Let's get going..

[30min into the drive]

Neta:.........................................................

Gai:.....................................................................so...how have you been.

Neta: I've been fine Dad.

Gai: that's good.... you're really going to be surprised by the house we used to live in....

Neta: hmmmmm

Gai: we had plenty of space outside we were thinking of putting a playground for you when you got older.

Neta: wow that's nice...

Gai: the house is technically one story but we have a basement and an attic

Neta: uh-huh...

Gai: it's a 4 bed and 3 bath.... Maybe you might remember this place

Neta:..................

Gai:. ..................hm

Neta:......................

_______________________________________________

Mahi: Candi, can you fill in for me I still feel hungover

Candi: No Mahi. Go to work It's only 5 hours

Mahi: Please I really don't feel like gooooing

Candi: No mahi I'm not filling in for you. You think you're the first one to go to work hungover?

Mahi: Come on Candi! Please I barely ask you for anything. Can you just do this one thing for me?

Candi:......................... Okay Mahi fine.

Mahi: love ya Candi

Candi: Let me just get out of this hospital bed and leave my baby unattended so I can fill in for your shift.

Mahi: oh

Candi: Oh no! It's no problem really. I'm pretty sure Ona will be fine without me. She's only 2 days old, she should be fine.

Mahi: Nevermind...... I'm sorry

Candi: I'm in the car now. I sure hope my stitches are healed enough for me to stand for 5 hours

Mahi: Ok I get it! I'm going to work! fuck

Candi: Great have fun at work see you in 3 weeks

Mahi: alright....bye........... congrats on the new baby

Candi: awwww thank yoooou. bye!

Mahi: *sigh*.........fuck

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Merv: son don't stand behind the manatees one kick from them and you're in the hospital.

Noiji: he's right you know. that's how I lost my eye. (POP). . see?

Warabie: UGHH!

Ikkan: heheh noiji stop heheheh that's gross

Noiji: hahahahahahahahah

Merv: noiji put your eye back in and stop goofing off

Noiji: ok ok..I'll stop hehehe

Warabie: .....you were joking right? That was a joke

Merv: he was just teasing you. These girls are quite peaceful and don't startle easily but still be cautious

Warabie: alright............ how did you lose your eyes? if you don't mind me asking

Noiji: I have this thing called Polycythemia and when I was 12 I had a blood clot-

Merv: boys prep the animals before you start conversations

_______________________________________________

Warabie: hello

Mahi: hey man

Warabie: hey mahi. what are you doing?

Mahi: oh you know folding shirts stocking chokers. what are you doing?

Warabie: prepping a manatee so it can get milked

Mahi:...................cool?......... I guess......

Warabie: Yeah...... Surprisingly, it's not as bad as it sounds first we have to sanitize their nip-

Mahi: yeah no I don't want that image in my head thanks..... Candi had her baby......what color is this?

Warabie: what?!? She had her baby already!?

Mahi: Yeah her ink sac broke while she was working and it left a stain on the floor in the bathroom. Everyone's fighting about what color it is. I think it's baby blue.

Anto: It's not baby blue! You fucking idiot!!

Warabie: let me see........ Awwww the baby is turquoise.

Mahi: that is not turquoise. Turquoise has like a little bit of green in it.....right?

Naomi: No that's teal

Vinny: It's obviously aqua

Anto: No it isn't! it's sky blue! You know that if your head wasn't suck up your ass

Vinny: Ay watch yourself mother fucker, I'm not scared to go back to prison

Fugue: The color is very obvious

Anto: Oh really? What color is it since you seem to know of more than anyone else here?

Fugue: It's cyan

Vinny:............pfffthh...hehehehehhahahaha what? What is that?

Anto: Oh shut the fuck up! Are you serious!

Fugue: that shade would be considered Cyan

Anto: iT's cYaAnN!! You always have to make yourself seem like the smartest person in the fucking room.

Warabie:........…........

Mahi: I'll call you back later......... Cyan is a neon color right That's not bright enough to be cyan

_______________________________________________

[3 hours in the drive]

Neta:......................

Gai:...................

Neta:...... ...........................

Gai: have you been talking to your aunt lately?

Neta: yeah we're talking

Gai: she tell you she's talking to Eddie again

Neta: not Eddie

Gai: that's what I said

Neta: how many chances is she going to give this guy?

Gai: I don't know. I'm honestly getting sick of him showing up randomly.

Neta: is he at least sober?

Gai: hell if I know

Neta: *ugh*..............................my blood sugar I get low. I need something to eat

Gai: alright I could eat I saw a takeout place.

_______________________________________________

Gai: this Place is actually really good. I've been here before It's the best takeout I'm telling you lady oyster is the best takeout place they The crab and lobster in their house Special fried rice

Neta: ehhh ..... I wouldn't say that this is the best place. Ikkan and I used to eat at a place called jelly wok, they put a whole friend egg on top of their lo mein and fried rice

Gai:.. what color is the shrimp with lobster sauce there?

Neta: brown..... it's the good kind

Gai: oh....was it eel owned?

Neta: isopod owned actually. They snuck up to the surface 12 years ago and no one said anything so they stayed

Gai: huh....well I think this place is better

_______________________________________________

Neta:....*eating*........hm ...it's not bad......*eating*.... it's really good

Gai: see... it's good like I said

Neta: i didn't expect them to have the coconut cream shrimp you rarely see that on menus nowadays

Gai: yeah it's octarian owned..

Neta:..... I can tell it's delicious..... Surface takeout and underground takeout are so similar when it comes to rice and noodles....*eating*......but their main dishes.....*eating * we don't have soft shell crab down below....... Wish we did.........*eating*.....

Gai: .........*eating*............... welp let's get back on the road...you want to drive?

Neta: yeah

_______________________________________________

Gai:........................

Neta:.......................

Gai: how do you grow your tentacles so fast

Neta: distilled water..... I wash it in distilled water....I also stopped dying it to the root so it grows faster now

Gai: I see.... Noticing you have a little bit of pattern now

Neta: yeah... I was surprised when it started to show up again. I've been dying it for so never thought it would come back

Gai: you have the same pattern as your mother.......

Neta:..oh........ really?

Gai: yeah just like it..hm...

Neta:............................................I don't remember that much about mom.............

Gai: you were too young when she passed............hehehe she loved you tho... When you were born she showed you off to everyone... Coworkers, neighbors, the mailman ..hahaha he haha.... We couldn't get out of the hospital without her making nurses and doctors stop to look at her baby hehehe.... She'd show you swimming in your little ink tank

Neta:hehehe.....................

Gai:......................

Neta: oh shit I forgot!

Gai: what? what happened

Neta: nothing, nothing My friend just had a baby and I told her I was going to give her Cirrina's old ink take when she was a baby.......... Let's do a quick stop so I can make a phone call. We need gas anyway

_______________________________________________

Mahi:hello?

Neta: mahi go to my room for a quick sec

Mahi: I'm already in your room

Neta:........................* Inhale* * exhale*...... Okay...... Go to my closet and you'll see an ink tank that needs to go to Candi... You think you can give it to her?

Mahi: this pink backpack thingy

Neta: yes... that I also have a box of diapers and clothes for her too. but I'll give that to her later

Mahi: I don't think the hospital will allow me in. I can see

Neta: just ask for Candi

Mahi: ok......... where are you anyway?

Neta: uhhhhh? Dad?

Gai: we just made it trout mountains..*yawn*..... Another hour and and we get a motel tomorrow we'll drive to the house

Neta: we're in the mountains....... it's really nice up here..... actually...... I can see the city from up here.

Mahi: cool ...... Can I use your car?

Neta: no

Mahi: but your car has Built-In splatify and gps!

Neta: just use your phone, Go to the hospital. Ask for Candi. Give the ink tank to a nurse, she'll know what to do with it.........oh ......and take a picture of the baabbyy. I want to see her... Oh she's probably so cute

Mahi: inkfish babies are kinda ugly

Neta: what?

Mahi: nothing I see ya bye

_______________________________________________

Gai:..........*huff*.......*huff*........... I'm gonna go back to the car .......*huff*......... little light headed

Neta: dad?........ Dad!....... hey hey .....you okay?

Gai:....*cough*.... yeah.... I'm fine just thin air I guess heh.......ugh......*ssssssssssss*

Neta: something wrong with your neck?

Gai: no

Neta: let me see

Gai: Neta-

Neta:oh cod! .....dad!

Gai: I'm fine

Neta: how long have you had that sore?

Gai: only a couple of weeks it's fine I usually put a bandage on when it opens up again

Neta:. again!................*huff*............... Do you have any bandages?

Gai: in my glove compartment there should be some bandages and gauze

Neta: *hmmm*..... I'll drive the rest of the way..... you said the motel is an hour away?

Gai: yeah

_______________________________________________

Mahi: yeah hi I'm here to visit Candi.

Nurse: who?

Mahi: oh uhhh Candice

Nurse: Candice????

Mahi: Temp. Candice Temp

Nurse: Mrs. Temp okay ..... well visiting hours usually end around 11:30 but I can call her room and see if she wants any visitors

Mahi: mk...

Nurse: you can see her now

Mahi: cool . ...um... I was told to give a nurse this ink tank thing

Nurse: yep I'll take that. Thank you

_______________________________________________

Candi: look at her

Donn: she's beautiful.... and so tiny

Candi: I wouldn't say that.. pushing for 6 hours......but she's so precious

Baby: *yawn*....

Donn: awwwww.....

Mahi:...*knock*....*knock*...... hey Candi

Candi: hey Mahi....you brought the maternity tank?

Mahi: yeah. The nurse has it.............so that's your baby?

Candi: Yeah....... Who else would she belong to?

Mahi:... I don't know.........hm.... Is it supposed to look weird and squishy?

Candi: yes she's mostly ink right now.....so yeah she's supposed to look weird and squishy. ......you want to hold her?

Mahi: no

Candi: please... you'll look so cute holding the baby

Mahi: fine

Candi: awwww

Mahi: emm...................... what's her name?

Donn: Ona.

Mahi: oh.... that's nice........you can take Ona back now............ you're not gonna be here for three weeks so Seth will be taking over until you return

Candi: That's the plans

Mahi: Okay great

Nurse: The maternity tank is all set up for you ma'am

Candi: thank you

mahi: All right I'm going to Head back home..... Neta wanted me to take a picture of the baby to show him

Candi: no need I'm planning on doing a professional shoot tomorrow

_______________________________________________

Neta:........................

Gai:......*snoring*.,......*snoring*

Neta: hello?

Ikkan: hey babe. I didn't expect you to be up I was going to send a voicemail

Neta: oh.... sorry...... what are you doing

Ikkan: nothing getting ready to start my day...you?

Neta: about to go to sleep.... just made it to a motel

Ikkan: that's good, get some rest. I love you

Neta: I love you too. tell crab cakes I said hi.....................

Gai:....*snoring*..........*snoring*.....

Gai: *sigh*....

_______________________________________________

Neta:...............

Gai:.................

Neta: ................

Gai: .........you seem tense

Neta: did you even think about getting treatment before it started to spread? Did you catch it early? Did you catch it too late? What's going on dad?

Gai: do I really need to talk about this right now

Neta: Yes we do....we need to talk about this........ Why are you doing this? Why do you constantly......*sigh*..........[pulling over]

Gai: I made my decision Neta. Are you still mad about that?

Neta: you really think it's just that?! You really think I'm only mad about that! Not leaving me alone in the house by myself so you can go drink, not dropping me at my aunt's house when you couldn't deal with me, or enrolling me in the military or abandoning me in a mental hospital for 10 months!!! You missed my first wedding, you weren't there for the birth of your granddaughter and you haven't reached out for 18 fucking years!!!! and now that you're sick and dying you think it's the perfect time to reach out to me!!!

Gai...........

Neta: I just want to know why!? Why aren't you getting help or medical attention?!?!

Gai: you don't understand.........I just want to use my last moments in life to be a father and make up for lost time

Neta:.....................................HOW?! HOW ARE YOU GOING TO MAKE UP FOR! WITH SOME SHITTY ROAD TRIP?! DAD YOU ABANDON ME! PHYSICALLY AND EMOTIONALLY!! ALL THE TIMES I NEEDED YOU WENT THERE AND NOW!. ... . WHEN YOU'RE FINALLY DECIDING TO BE A FATHER FOR ONCE IT'S WHEN YOU'RE DYING!? WHEN YOU KNOW IF YOU FUCK UP YOU WON'T HAVE TO FACE THE CONSEQUENCES!.....

Gai: son I-

Neta: I'm a 35 year old man!! Where were you when I was 19 and got a girl pregnant!!?? I had to teach myself how to parent!! When I was in a band!? I was successful I didn't see in the crowd! My business was one news opening day not a single phone call nothing..........................*crying*........

Gai: neta

Neta: and now you're here. Things were actually working out we're talking and laughing things are going great.... I'm spending quality time with my Dad something I've wanted for years...................*sobbing*...... It just feels like you're leaving me all over again........... every time I think you're here to stay you always find a way to leave me.......*sobbing*.......or get away from me all .....the time

Gai:.....................................*sigh*......... Neta......... I'm tired ........ I really am

Neta:.......................

Gai:.................... I lost my career ... ...my friends.....my home ......my wife.......You...........I lost everything in one moment and it ........it ruined me.....

_______________________________________________

[flash back sequins]

Gai: so what we have to leave? Where do we go?! This is octoling Territory!

Inkling soldier 1: all residents within the 50 mile radius have to leave the property..

Inkling soldier 2: sorry I know this is an inconvenience but we've reclaimed this property. We will be mailing information about your new location and where you'll be placed

Gai:No! I just bought this house! this is on an octarian base!.... what about my job. How am I supposed to go to work?

Inkling soldier 2: all factories, stores and businesses have already been shut down. They closed this morning

Gai: are you kidding so I'm out of job!.........

Inkling soldier 1: my apologies sir.... I don't agree with it either

Gai:.. come on man......you can't do this to us .....we just moved here....... our kid isn't even a toddler yet. Is there any way we can stay? I don't have that much money I can try-

Inkling soldier2: the land has been reclaimed for inklings we have a copy of the treaty if you want proof

Gai:"reclaimed" it was never yours to claim!!

Sydney: Gai please

Inkling soldier 2: sir if you don't leave the premises within a month we will have to take it by force...

Inkling soldier 1: your new location will be sent to you in the mail. Have a nice day

Gai:........[SLAM]...............cod damn it COD DAMN IT! Why is always me?

Sydney: honey......hey.... we'll be ok .... things like this happen all the time we'll bounce back like we always do

_______________________________________________

Gai: alright........ Everything is packed.... Neta is asleep.... let's go......

Sydney: here it says that our new location is going to be bunker 6988

Gai: just when you think you made it to the surface they find a way to shove you back underground

Sydney: [kiss] we'll be back eventually

Inkling soldier: name?

Gai: Gai Vern

Inkling soldier: ID?

Gai: here

Inkling soldier: alright.. family of 3. ..step out of the car sir.....you too ma'am...... we'll direct you to the line for your placement

Gai:.....

Sydney:.......

Gai: ok but what about our car? What are they doing with our car?!

Inkling soldier: sir we need you to get in line

Sydney: we have everything packed in there! Our clothes, my mothers cookware, baby supplies ..... Neta! His insulin! He needs that!

Inkling soldier: we're sorry to do this folks but no outside material once you enter the bunkers medical supplies will be given to you when needed

Gai:..........

_______________________________________________

Gai: we're home.......if you can call it that

Sydney:..... it's a little small...... but we'll make do... just until we get back on our feet. You find a job and I'll work from home with Neta

Gai:.. ....

Sydney: we'll be ok....[peck]

_______________________________________________

Gai:.............................................………

Sydney:........*huff*.........*huff*..........*huff*......... ... .........*smile* ..............

Gai:...... we'll be ok.... we'll bounce back like we always do

Sydney: yeah. . .......... ..... ....... . . . .... yeah ..

_______________________________________________

Gai: it's only going to be for a couple months. Okay I just need you to watch him......

Kat: months?

Gai: he's been acting out so just put him in his room if he does something. He's going to a different school he got kicked out the last one

Neta:.................

Kat: Gai......

Gai: I just need to get back on my feet..... I got another job and I just need to save enough money and I'm settled

Kat: you've been saying that for years

Gai: well what the fuck do you want me to do!? I'm doing my best!.... just look after him I got shit to do. I come back for em when I come back for em

Neta:.............

Kat: .......*sigh*.... Alright...

_______________________________________________

Gai:........................

Neta: [packing]....

Gai:........... ................*sigh*..... your first mission with a Splatoon. You should be proud you worked hard for this

Neta: not like I had a choice did I?.......

Gai: hay it was this or boarding school and we can't afford that

Neta: *heh*......... Let's hope you can afford my funeral. You're still paying debts off for Mom's

Gai: hey! Neta!

Neta: [SLAM] .......

_______________________________________________

[end of flashback]

Gai: when I saw you in the e-ward.... I guess I couldn't face you..... I didn't know what to do....felt like I lost everything and everyone... I honestly just gave up.......

Neta:......................................*inhale*.........*exhale*...................ok......... shit........................

Gai:.....*sigh*.....we're here.....

Neta: we are?

Gai: yeah follow this path.............up here............ they must have paved the road. It's a smooth drive...........here it is............*wh*............our house........oh wow

Neta:..... This was our home?

Gai: yeah......*sniff*..... This is it...... just how we left it..........*sniff*........ nothing has changed.....

Neta:...................wow

Gai: I got the key. Just gotta jiggle it a little and.. there..........*chough*..*cough* a little dusty tho

Neta:....................................

Gai: the skylight is new along with the furniture.....well it's not really new but not ours......tho it's nice. So? what do you think?

Neta:.....................................…...................

Gai: speechless right

Neta: yeah.....hehe... you bought this?

Gai: yeah back in 78, It's in perfect condition...(Pat ..Pat)

[CRASH]

Gai: almost perfect condition.......... Just needs a little bit of a repaint and diy and it should be fine

Neta: dad there's a hole in the ceiling

Gai: just have to put in another skylight it'll be fine

Neta: sure dad. which one was my room?

Gai: right here on the left...............looks like whoever owned this place turned it in an office...we spent weeks on the nursery.....*sigh*.....at least they kept the paint color the same.........

Neta:.hm .....

Gai: the basement seems the same the carpet is a bit darker than I remember

Neta: who owned this place? After you and mom left?

Gai: it was a vacation home for the first couple of years.....an inkling family moved in and then a urchin family owned it for a while...... that's all I know.....is that black mold?

Neta:..... what are you going to do with this place?

Gai: that's up to you.

Neta: what?

Gai: It's up to you. This land and this house is yours.... It'll take around a year for it to be restored. By the time I clean it, gut it, repaired and repainted I'll be in hospice

Neta:.........................................

Gai: it's yours. you're a home owner now you should be happy

Neta:... yeah.... I am .... I'm happy....... thanks dad.......how much time do you have left?

Gai: A year and several months doctors told me.......

Neta:.....................

_______________________________________________

Ikkan: so he's not getting any treatment?

Neta: no he's made up his mind

Ikkan: I'm sorry babe....he has plenty of time

Neta: I know.....*sigh*...... I don't blame him though.........*sniff*....*sigh*

Ikkan: maybe if you spend more time with him maybe he'll reconsider

Neta: I can only hope.

Ikkan: what does the house look like?

Neta: you'd love it's that mid something you like so much

Ikkan: mid-century?

Neta: yeah yeah it's that..... It is kind of worn down though you might need to hire some people to fix it up

Ikkan: where is it located?

Neta: in the mountains like waaay in the mountains, if you drive another half an hour, you'll make it to camp triggerfish

Ikkan: so the arowana mall would beee.....uhhh........at least an hour away by train

Neta: Cirrina would have to walk down to get to the train station for school that's at least 45 minutes

Ikkan: we can install a spawn pad

Neta: yeah...... When you get back I take you to the house. Sound good?

Ikkan: yeah we can do that. I'd also like to meet your Dad if that's ok....

Neta: yeah I'd like that. Cirrina should see her grandfather at least once....

Ikkan: think he has enough time to see you get married?

Neta: I didn't ask. That's just going to be another disappointment when he doesn't show up

Ikkan: Neta... I understand........

Neta: I'll ask....... but we're putting his chair in the back

Ikkan: good because invitations go out at the end of the month. I hope you picked your best man we have 2 months left and-

Noiji: PATTY'S HAVING HER CALF!!!

Ikkan: shit ok uhhhh I'll call you.......... In the morning - my morning.. I have to go bye!........... I love you Neta!

Neta:.........ok..... love you bye.

Gai: what was that?

Neta: nothing...... Do you have anything planned for the next few months

Gai: no. why?

_______________________________________________

Anto, mahi and @fish-at-fish-fish-resort spent 30 minutes arguing over the color of the ink stain that was left on the bathroom floor....

[mothysmenagerie]

A few weeks ago I made the trek to visit one of my dear friends Kate's house so we could crawl up in her attic and see what kind of shit was up there. She believed a Kenner Blythe may be amongst the treasure, which prompted her to invite me. Sadly, no Kenner but we didn't leave empty handed.

And one of the treasures was a Penny Playpal Doll.

I didn't even know these dolls existed until Kate pulled her from one of the piles in the attic. Despite that, as soon as she dragged her huge body out for me to see and asked "do you want her?" How could I say no? She is so charming and reminds me so much of the my size barbie I loved in my own youth, I def wanted to take her home.

But she was SO GROSS. Nearly everything in the attic was covered in a layer of dirt, cob webs, dust, mouse poop, bug corpses, you name it. She was so grimy I had to throw her in the trunk to take her home. This was the first picture I took of her, which is kind of hilarious because it looks like something from a straight up horror movie.

She was so gross that I even had to make a special trip to target to buy her a special containment case to house her until I was ready to clean her lul

Here she is.... Bidding her time...

And the containment breach. >:3

Washing her was an experience. It truly did feel like I was cleaning a small child. 🙃 I filled the plastic tub full of water and dish soap and got to work.

Once I had given her body the first scrub I took her to the kitchen to wash her hair. Her hair is pretty gross, very brittle and balding in spots, but it's not horrible. Kate told me when she was little she messed with her hair a few times so I'm not sure if it was ever cut. If it was, baby Kate did a great job keeping it even loooool.

I used baby shampoo for her head. He hair is still pretty stiff, but there are no more bug carcasses so I'm counting it as a win. 😇

She was already looking much better at this point, but this is also where I messed up. 😞 I had been avoiding submerging her because I knew she was hollow and didn't want to fill her water. However her legs were still pretty dirty and I wanted to soak them and her grimy hands a bit longer to help get some of the more stubborn dirt off. In doing so I left her to soak, thinking dipping just her bottom half would not cause a problem. Boy was I wrong!

She was decidedly heavier when I picked her up from her soak, her whole bottom half full of water. I've drained most of it at this point (thank you mommy blogs for giving tips on getting water out of toys) and I think she will be ok. I hope so at least because I would be heart broken if she got moldy. 😭

She did sure look cute sitting in the tub though looooool.

Anyway, I still have some work to do on her. I'm working now on removing the staining on her face and will continue trying to dry her out. All in all, errors and all, I am having a lot of fun cleaning her up. I love you miss Penelope, and I'm glad you are home with me! 💖😘😻

I also did some work on a Barbie and Midge doll Kate asked me to clean up, more on them in the future. ✨

Until then, I leave you with the adorable commercial for Patti and her buddy Penny. 👯

[pwblogarchive]

June 2005

June 1, 2005

Lets make a mixed cd.

Songs to listen to when you're alone:

Smoking popes "pretty pathetic"

Imogen heap "hide and seek"

Elliot smith "a fond farewell"

Get up kids "valentine"

Bright eyes "lua"

Joy division "ice age...."

Kent "if I was there"

Motion city soundtrack "everything is alright"

Morissey "the more you ignore me..."

Now its overhead "with a subtle look"

Saves the day "blindfolded"

The smiths "unloveable"

The smiths "asleep"

The weakerthans "left and leaving"

Coldplay "trouble"

American nightmare "we are"

Damnation ad "no more dreams"

The cure "why can't I be you"

Dan andriano "lucky smoke rings"

Nick drake "pink moon"

Burn. And play. Repeat play.

In the dark.

June 4, 2005

things you may or may not know about our experience at trl:

fat joe is awesome. he is one of the few "celebrities" that we have ever met that has no attitude. he goofed around with us and told us a bunch of hilarious stories. he is what you wished you were only bigger and funnier, trust us.

it was really hot there.

we have yet to meet a camera man that knows how to film fall out boy. we were doing lots of stuff on stage that they completely missed. next time maybe they'll catch on.

we saw some footage that mtv shot of "sugar we're going down" for fall out boy makes the video (Mtv2). it will make you laugh at pete and dirty literally stealing a golf cart and driving it into a tree at full speed.

pete is constantly sick. possibly because he jumps in pools full of staph infection or possibly because he never sleeps. we're not sure. he did a sick cannonball today, again too bad the camera missed that one. though we are pretty sure that the vj vanessa loved the gross wet hug he gave her when he got out of the pool.

our guitar tech eric the cowboy and soundguy Dad did a trl "shout out" during kelly clarkson for our tourmonkey Dirty. it was the best part about trl.

we think this is the first time Lifetime and The Descendents were namedropped on TRL, that makes us proud. now go buy their cds.

we recommend that you do not put all of your money on red or black. its just not worth it.

the "i heart revenge" shirt. will be available from clandestine this summer.

patrick gets sunburned in approximately one second.

panic! at the discman's new songs are amazing. pink was the new black then black was the new black now panic at the disco is the new black.

fall out boy is always gonna be just a band that started in joe's attic. we got the world fooled on TRL, thanks for being in on the secret with us. keep up the calling!

thanks for making it all possible.

now back to crankcalling dirty.

June 8, 2005

Florida is hot. That's all I have to say. The humidity makes it hard to breathe. I wanted to thank everyone for remembering my birthday. And kimber thanks for the bday slipandslide but joe decided he liked it more than me so he took it. Maybe hell let me use it on warped with him, hehe. Besides I like joe. The hardrock show was actually a lot of fun... We're going home to try and work up some new stuff to play on warped. Post what new songs you guys want to hear the most and we'll work on them. Oh yeah we got all new merch for warped and all new clandestine stuff too...

For those of you voting on trl. We heard that the whole last week was pretaped. So don't give up hope!!

Real enrty later when I'm not so tired. Nice to see all your pretty faces all over again.

June 10, 2005

the boy kings-

you guys did it. i dont really understand how we managed to but we beat out 50cent and made it to number 9 on trl countdown. pinch myself. yep. im still me and my mom is still yelling at me to clean my room. damnit i thought being on trl would make me instantly awesomer.... in any news we have some cool cover songs we're working on for comps and we're practicing for warped you know- sitting with out guitars in a sauna for 12 hours a day. it gets kind of gross. wait did i thank you for your undying support for us. all the other bands on TRL are three times the size of fall out boy and our fans alone are dedicated to call and work to get us on there. it honestly made me shiver when i saw that. lets keep it going up the countdown- show them what this is about! please call again tommorrow, phones are worth more than the net! the info is on the front page. back to the sauna for me. me and patrick are sweating out new songs as we speak. hope to see chicago kids at the gym class show on sunday! and we have some awesome stuff planned for everyone real soon...

hey S.O.'s i been seeing you at shows. it makes me swoon.

truefuckinglove peter

06/10/05

question

Dear Pete, or whoever decides to answer this question..well or not answer…my friend megan says that if you listen to XO with just the right side of headphones theres no music so it sounds like Patrick is singing in her ear just for her…and i agree….try it sometome

answer

how about this. when i want patrick to sing in my ear i call him on the phone and he does it… boo and yah. oops. yeah i do that sometimes.

June 13, 2005

i'll be your number 9 with a bullet.

thanks for getting us on trl again!!! they changed the time of trl for summer. can you tell how suprised the vj's are that we keep getting on? its so amazing. keep it up. they changed the voting time to 1:30-2:00pm EST... so check it out earlier now. check out how to vote on the front page.

more s(w)oon.

XO

06/13/05

question

Does Patrick have a nickname? If so what is it?

answer

rickster. von stump. sophmore strump. winchester snomp, lunchbox. cookie jar. healthbar. rick ta life. patty boy. dont ever call him these. they are mine.

June 14, 2005

dear diary,

how did we get here. i'm not even sure.

thank god that the man who wrote Thriller is free. bring back the hits please, i'm dying.

summers not what it used to be.

the first kiss (off).

we leave for new york in moments. i'm a mess. nothings really going as planned in good ways and in bad ways.

thank you for the number seven, even if we are the "fall out boyS"

to the falloutBoy kings

ps. new summer line over at www.clandestineindustries.com - which includes more girls stuff, the bleach series based off of the story the count of monte cristo and some shirts designed exclusively for patrick.

June 14, 2005

her dad was a cook.

more like a chemist.

now he's doing time for burning down a shack out in the woods.

she gets her affection through two inch bulletproof glass two weekends a month, when her mother will drive her out there.

her hair is nosebleed red kinda funny in the way she always has the sniffles too, but you wouldn't laugh out loud, just in your head.

but me i'm brave, but in the boy next door kind of way. gone wrong ofcourse.

she says her family used to ski in vail.

i'm thinking this is a thinly veiled code for something about drugs but i'm not sure.

someone should wipe that smile off of her face.

someone should tell her that she's a terminal case and ruin her day.

not me, you know i'm kinda too into her.

it's the kind of conversation i'd engage behind cigarette smoke late at night with someone else.

she's like exposed brick. its not really as classy as people in manhattan apartments will tell you.

she always talks my ear off.

telling me amazing stories from the middle of nowhere.

i can hear the crickets chirping.

and the tumbleweeds blowing.

like how the 92 flood of mississippi was so bad that the water went into graveyards and she saw coffins floating down the street on the news.

peaceful resting place.

when we walk into a casino in vegas she tells me how they pump oxygen through the vents to keep people from feeling tired. how they make them like a maze around the casino floor so you can't find exits. how they keep the drinks coming for free. how everything is inclusive, you can get whatever you need, so you won't leave. she tells you to notice how there isn't anywhere to sit down except in front of a slot machine. she tells you it's just to get you to keep gambling.

as if it't a conspiracy.

just so you know she also calls tornados: twisters. and she's been in too many to count.

today she said the sky looked too nice, "it just isn't right".

we have patchwork afternoons like this.

just sewn together but not really matching.

we would if we could though. just coming apart at the seams and thats what's so attractive about eachother.

we could beat this rap. we could change your mind about us. we could live through this.

we just don't want to.

fuck your futures.

- petey

06/14/05 Q&A

question

Hypothetically asking, Ok, what if one day you woke up and Patrick was not there. Would you be worried?

answer

it would make me want to disappear to wherever he was.

06/16/05

question

How does patrick sing the emotion in the songs that u (pete) wrote.. Do you have to explain it to him or does he just know?

answer

me and patrick can finish eachothers sentences. this is what makes it so funny when people ask us if we care that you think the the other one is hotter or cooler, or how much everyone makes a big deal about who writes what or is where in photos. we don’t care. that kid is my best friend and the rest of the world could blow up and fall out boy can break up and he still will be.

June 16, 2005

I am glad today is over. We drove around nyc on a double decker bus and then recorded a cover song for a video game. A lot of things kind of were blown out of proportion today. But then I got to hear the new kanye west record and meet him. I realize no matter where our record is, hiphop guys like him are so much cooler than I will ever be. Oh well.

Number 5 is unbelieveable. Honestly I looked at my tv screen and was baffled. There aren't words... You are the best thing that has ever happened to me, no matter how bad things get.

June 18, 2005

best in show, worst in. love. with you. spent the day rehearsing warped tour. getting in the swing. so happy tonight in the perfect weather with friends from: from first to last, underoath and matchbookromance. we're a gang. get into it. this summer is going to be okay i think. really excited to play again tommorrow. come and find me (out). pick me out of a hat, pull me out of your sleeve. im lucky, but you're the luckiest. you guys bring a smile to my face when i see all of your silly questions. keep voting at TRL- it's definitely suprising some people over at Mtv!

www.clandestineindustries.com

XO

ps J. - BenFolds "the luckiest"

June 20, 2005

haiku for you...

moonlit blues dimming

veins full of point fives and ones

turning my head off

just watch my mind run

over by the ambulance

side effect lover

- petey

June 21, 2005

I love summer in the midwest. Sunsets are the best. We love the number five. Thanks for voting on trl. Mtv is super suprised that we keep beating out 50cent and shakira. Thank you for your support. Its pretty exciting for us and is worth more than you could know. Please Keep voting... The info is in the news. First day off on warped tour and goddamn I miss it. Comeback forever.

Btw we love ap.net and jared kaufman so whoever said otherwise has got their stories mixed up.

Watch: the notebook. Get in touch with you cliched romantic side.

Listen: frou frou "letgo" cause theirs beauty in the breakdown.

Truelove.

See you on warped tour. Come over and say hey.

June 22, 2005

Warped tour is so hot. I've been eating icees and popsicles like they are going out of style. I love all the smiling, sunburned faces. Number three on TRL? This blew everyone away. We thought we might make it out on there but never guessed we could have gotten that far up. We talked about it all night on the bus. We have to find a way to repay you guys, something special. We're coming up with some ideas, just to let you guys know how much your support means. Stay tuned for that. Keep voting if you can. Otherwise go outside and play in the sun. We've been hangng with mcr and fftl a lot, teaching them how to go outside before it gets dark. Its funny.

Xo

June 23, 2005

From the bottom of our blackened hearts. Thank you for making us number one on trl. Its hotter than hell in dallas right now and we want to go to a waterpark. Koreantom cruise isn't helping it go down though.

We always knew how you felt. Now the world knows.

Honestly. Beaming from cheek to cheek.

June 25, 2005

lovers. from room 911 of a holiday inn next to the warped tour in houston. i apologize for being out of touch. the internet is not easy to come by here. i hate the sun. it seems to hate me as well. but i love being on Warped tour. been hanging with lots of old friends and some new ones too, definitely talking about some upcoming tours.

after seeing us as number one on TRL i was reminded of something that happened to me on last years Warped tour. I was standing in line for catering where all the bands eat and happened to bump into a member of a huuuuuuge punk rock band that i will not mention. i felt dumb and said i was sorry. but for whatever reason the guy didn’t like how i looked or like my band or whatever and said “you shouldn’t even bother wait in line to eat, you don’t deserve to be on the warped tour and you’ll always be a second stage band”. it made me feel like shit. i left the line and just started walking away to be on my own. as i did, someone from another equally huge punk band ran over and said “fuck that shit. get back in line”. and i mumbled something about feeling sorry for myself. and he said

fuck that. lets just say that you are a second stage band for the rest of your life. could you look in the mirror and love what you did?”. and i thought about it. and i came to terms with it. now this isn’t something where i’m trying to rub anything in anyones face. in fact its quite the opposite. i realized that i loved our band no matter what happened to it. if youve seen the movie rushmore you know what i mean when i say “fall out boy is my rushmore”. its the only thing i have really believed in, in a long time. it makes my heart beat. playing the songs makes me feel alive. yeah, i come off as depressed and blue all the time, but the stage washes that all away. whether we are number one on TRL or not even on Mtv.

that all being said. i was talking on IM with a kid the other day when we were number two and she said “don’t worry, we’ll get you to number 1”. it seems like such a simple thing but it almost made me cry. a fan who cares enough about me and every member of this band to feel like they owe it to bring us to number one. like they were paying us back. it made my day. i can’t tell you the gasp i felt when we heard the news. we figured taking off 25 percent on our merch store isn’t alot to do but it’s the best we could think of. soooo again Thank you!!! every single person who ever believed in us was vindicated in that moment. you shook the world alittle bit, but it was amazing. please keep it up.

bring your sunblock and water, and maybe a couple of yellow flowers.

xo

06/25/05 Q&A

answer

“kisses on the necks of just friends” kinda sexy dont you think. like if my friend was say william beckett that would be really sexy.

question

id just like to clarify that no one could pull off sideburns like patrick, i mean cmon, whats wrong with you people?..oh and pete, hows it going?

June 26, 2005

Warped tour is hottness. As are you.

Also, we have noticed a crazy amount of fake myspace accounts for each of us. NONE of us a personal myspace account.

We have also noticed a lot of people selling our autographs online. Don't support this. We promise that you can get our autographs at shows. Don't waste your money online. We will however later on this summer be putting some items that you cannot get anymore from early in our career as a band on ebay as a charity for our friend andrew from something corporate. So keep your eyes open.

Thanx love.

June 28, 2005

Amazing new mexico sunset. I'm hanging on a bridge with my friend mikey way from my chem. Its all orange and pink above us. We went to another waterpark again. I love high fives again. Totally back in love. Saw the most amazing movie... I think its called spirited away. Watch it.

Oh yeah. Keep voting. Kelly clarkson fans think they're better than ours. It kinda gave us a chuckle. For real. Total hiphop beef. We've got our money on you guys. Keep the votes up! You guys are amazing. Hugs and highfives forever.

Peterpan

06/30/05 Q&A

question

hey pete, do you belive in god? and congrats to you guys for being on TRL so long. and one more thing when are you guys coming to San Antonio again last time you guys came it was my sisters b-day. Bye, Sami

answer

im not sure what i believe. i would like to believe that there is something bigger making all these coincidences happen. i want to not be alone.

question

how come that me and my friend voted two hundred times in two days to beat strung out ass in the energizer contest and you didnt play ten more minutes in montreal by the way im glad you have come here and the show rocked

answer

i dunno. we didn’t get the extra ten minutes.

question

did mikey rub it in your face that they were number 1 on trl on friday?

answer

me and mikey are in a gang called the sweet little dudes. there is no competition. we are happy when our friends are doing well.

question

When I wake up in the middle of the night, I sing your songs in my head to fall back asleep, what do you do to go back to sleep?

answer

i put on the new panic at the disco record.

question

what do you do when your becoming something you hate and you never wont to be. Please help me. Brittany

answer

its never too late to turn it all around. thats the best thing about being alive.

question

Do you think if some big fan at warped tour just randonmly came up and humped Andys leg do you think he would care?

answer

nah andy is pretty easy going.

question

Pete, is it true that you dont drink alcohol

answer

only xmolotovcoktailsx

question

hey pete, who came up with the idea for the flipbook album edition thing? cause its awsome

answer

the rats that live inside my brain.

question

Patrick and Andy are so sexy!

answer

true.

question

Peter, what is up with the sudden emo scented journal entries. i mean, i /we just dont want you to be sad anymore. ::internet hugs::

answer

im just being a baby.

[submissivekillers]

*slides a twenty over the table* NSFW headcanons for Billy the Moaner?

combining these two (also thank u second anon for cluing me into dashinslashin’s blog, hot damn)

*furious chanting* fuck him up fuck him up fUCK HIM UP- but like….. in a nice way…….

the absolute epitome of “can dish it out but he can’t take it” - the moment you respond positively to his dirty talk he slams down the phone and has to take a while to calm down and masturbate

steals your underwear and uses it to get off, pressing it against his face and breathing in your scent or wrapping it around his dick, pretending it’s your hand or mouth while he whines and giggles into the empty air

definitely a bit skittish of affection at first- you: *smiles/compliments him/is generally nice* billy: FUCK WE ARE UNDER ATTACK

BATHE HIM- just because he’s worth the UTI doesn’t mean you gotta take that risk!- resistant at first, but once he realizes it’s an opportunity to get you wet and soapy he strips down before you can say “good boy”- you are going to get splashed and/or tugged in, it’s inevitable- absolutely melts when you wash his hair, relaxing into the water as you work out the dirt and knots from his curls. he already has a chub from the exclusive attention and your state of undress, but it’s messing with his hair that gets him nice and hard, his squirming setting water splashing over the side of the tub and making you scold him until you realize his predicament- it makes for the perfect opportunity to reach down into the water and wrap your fingers around his dick, slowly jerking him off while he whimpers and rolls his hips into your hand. pull his hair back to expose his neck and leave a few bite marks while you’re at it, he’ll be vocally appreciative

i’m sorry do you really expect this man to be at all quiet?? nope. while he does favor softer pet names, reserving the degradation and slurs for his victims, he’s just as vocal in bed as he is on the phone. he keeps up a constant stream of groans, whimpers, and stuttered praises, fumbling with his unfamiliar sweet talk but desperate to make sure you know how good he feels. when he’s close to coming he lets out soft, rhythmic whines with every thrust or bounce, and he practically sobs when he finally reaches his peak- lowkey cries after he comes 

can you say somnophilia? he can’t because billy is into it. in part, it’s practical: his sex drive is unpredictable, and you won’t always be awake when he really, really wants it. but he also likes the vulnerability of it - your expressions are so sweet and open when you’re asleep, no unconscious shame holding back your reactions, and the look on your face when you wake up halfway to orgasm (or mid-orgasm, depending on how heavily you sleep) is one he holds onto for his next solo session

actually prefers oral or fingering/handjobs to penetrative sex. he has more than a couple hang-ups regarding intimacy, but those are all “safer” options for him - and he loves giving oral, especially when you ride his face. he’s vocal then too, slurping and moaning into you, and loves to be praised for his efforts - billy lenz can, will, and should eat the booty like groceries- also really into thighjobs - the thicker the better, but he doesn’t discriminate- this isn’t to say that he’ll never do penetration, though; he just has to be in the right mindset for it. prefers to be on the bottom while you fuck him, gripping your hips hard enough to bruise and babbling breathlessly 

clingy cuddler

[hajimeshoe]

Obey Me Brothers with a Teen!MC that just doesn’t give a damn.

Newest hyperfixation - Obey me bois

Lucifer

When MC's summoned they shows up and once the situation is explained just goes “Sounds good,”

Like, excuse me??? Repeat back everything I just said please “I’m here to attend an exchange program, surrounded by demons that think I’m a whole ass snack” “…” “Now where’s my room?”

At least they won’t have issues adjus- did they just bribe Mammon into making a pact with them?? And piss off Levi?? In the span of a week?

No, MC, you’ve nearly gotten eaten six times this week- GET DOWN FROM DIAVOLO’S SHOULDERS!

Well look at that, MC has a pet cat…oh fuck it ate the couch.

He has his hands full but bitch is too stubborn- sorry, Prideful, to just let this small human die.

And when they make a pact with him he’s just done with their bullshit.

Mammon

He has to babysit a child? Okay, at least they're not asking questions

Hey, give him his credit card back MC! And sTOP SELLING MY STUFF! No, I don’t care if I tried selling your stuff you brat!

By the end of the first week he’s THE big brother tho. MC wants to play pranks? Count him in. Sell a picture of Lucifer they edited to be shirtless? They’re splitting the money 50/50.

He just wishes MC would have some semblance of self-preservation, but nope. MC started a fight with a lower level wrath demon and cut their own hand to taunt it with their blood.

Mammon just threw them over his shoulder and bolted.

Can he just wrap MC in bubble wrap and lock them in the attic?? Please???

Leviathan

Who in their right mind let a normie child down here?

He doesn't like normies, he doesn't like children, so this one is lucky that Lucifer said they can't ea-

"Over 300 hours spent watching anime in my room, I spent 12 hours binging Devilman Crybaby, read all the manga of the anime I've watched plus some, and there was one I locked myself in my room for 2 weeks to binge an anime with over 1000 episodes"

His new bestie!

If MC would even want to be friends with a gross, yucky otaku like him

He will complain about this kid but he'll still abduct MC to binge anime in his room and to game with him

Especially once they have a pact

Satan

Pisses off Lucifer? Check. Gets angry and hits things? Check. Likes cats? Check.

Satan has a new little sibling

He doesn't immediately actually LIKE MC until the entire thing with Lucifer, but hey! He finds them amusing at least

And once he does actually like them and want to be their friend, he's essentially an older sibling to them. Pranks Lucifer, gets them an anti-lucifer league t-shirt, the whole nine yards.

100% straight up kills any demon MC gets in a fight with if they harm MC

Asmodeus

He's not some sort of pedo and you're a liiiiitle too young for him, so he does not flirt

He will, however, give beauty and skincare tips

Also he posts tons of pictures of you on his Devilgram

You're now his honorary baby sister, after all

He coos at you once you manage to summon him when Solomon lends you his magic

And he gets whiny when you get in fights with demons or do stupidly dangerous things because, “MC, you’ll get bruised!”

Beelzebub

Beel is worried

Who let a fragile, little, baby human in here?? You weren't even old enough to legally drink or live by yourself!

He is now your big brother and bodyguard

Has ended up dangling from a balcony by one hand, with the other holding onto one of your knees when he caught you when you decided to jump from it for fun once

He swore to never leave you unsupervised after that, especially not with mammon

And when Belphie killed you? He. Was. Distraught.

His twin killed their new little sibling, he was horrified and ready to cry

Belphegor

At first, he didn't care for you at all. Baby humans are just more gullible.

Then he was annoyed

His brothers rarely left you alone for more than a couple of seconds

Definitely not long enough to get you up the stairs

Once he eventually got you up the stairs? He was just counting down the hours until he could kill you

Even his own twin loved you? How could Beel.

Not to mention, you'd get into a fight with everyone

Belphie does feel bad about it eventually and then starts human preservation tactics:

Napping 🥰

After all, the human can’t

get hurt if they’re asleep, right?

[simplyotometrash]

Could I request hcs of the brothers reacting to MC asking them to lay on top of them. It’s just sometimes really comforting to have the weight of someone else on me.

I love your writing and I hope life is getting better for you! 💕

MC Asking The Brothers to Lay on Top of Them

Lucifer:

“What?”

You sprung the question on him while he was working on paperwork late at night.

“I just...well...”

“MC, please say what you wish to say. It’s late.” He rubbed his temples but there wasn’t even a hint of frustration or irritation in his voice. He sounded tired but nothing but kindness was direct at you.

“You’ve been working a lot more lately and I’ve been having trouble sleeping and, well, it’s really comforting to feel someone else’s weight.”

The blush on your face made him smile. 

How could he say no to such a face? 

He couldn’t

He turned out his light, now the room dimly illuminated by what light flitted in through the window.

“Well, my dear, your wish is my command. If you’ve been struggling to sleep, you should have said so sooner.”

He was careful when laying on top of you but found a comfortable way to lay soon enough.

It was odd, as usually, you would end up fast asleep on top of him. But he couldn’t deny it also felt nice.

“I suppose I could do this for you more often. All you need to do is is ask me.”

Mammon:

It was the middle of the night. The only reason you even bothered to ask him was because Mammon wasn’t snoring up a storm.

So you knew he wasn’t sleeping.

“W-what? Lay on top of ya? Is this some new kink ya found?”

Of course, you couldn’t help but laugh at his reaction.

You could feel how hot his face was. You loved how easily embarrassed your tsundere was.

“No, silly! Sometimes it’s just nice to have weight on top of me in bed. It helps me feel better and safer.”

Immediately rolls the two of you over to lay on you. You can feel his skin get even hotter against yours.

“D-don’t go makin’ a habit outta this, ya hear? I love ya and all but the Great Mammon ain’t yer weighted blanket!”

Says not to make a habit of it.

He’s the one to make the habit.

Him laying on top of you becomes the norm when you guys get ready for bed. 

There’s something about it that makes him feel...small. But not in a bad way.

It’s like when he is the little spoon.

He feels protected and loved. Nothing can touch him.

But also nothing can get to you without going through him first.

And that makes him feel like he’s protecting his human, even while they sleep.

Levi:

Leviathan.exe has stopped working

System reboot needed

His face is so hot and red you could fry an egg!

“M-MC! Are you sure? I’m a gross otaku, I might not be very comfy to sleep under! A-and I have a weighted blanket, we can use that instead-”

“No, Levi, I want you to lay on me. If you’re okay with that. I liked weighted blankets but it is different when it’s another person.”

It takes some calming down before he goes for it.

And boy oh boy does he like it.

It’s not the most comfortable in his bathtub, though. He knows it’s gotta hurt your back.

So he plushes out his bathtub for sleeping to make it less hard and ensure your back will never hurt!

Besides, laying like that makes it way easier to actually lay together in his tub anyway. It’s such a narrow space.

Sometimes he asks if you can sleep on him instead and instantly understands the comfort it brings you.

Even when it becomes standard practice and asking isn’t needed, Levi’s face is always going to be bright red until he gets settled in for the night.

It also helps force him into a sleep schedule because he loves it so much.

Yeah, he’s okay with this. More than okay.

Satan:

Very little reaction from Satan.

He read about this kind of thing before. He was kinda wanting to ask you to lay on him but you beat him to the punch. 

Mostly because he wanted to test it out.

“Of course I will. If it helps you, I’ll never say no to it.”

The biggest downside of being the one laying on top?

He can’t read to you very easily.

Satan loves reading to you at night, it helps the both of you wind down.

That’s okay, though. He memorizes plenty of stories to tell for the nights that he lays on top of you.

And he has books ready for the nights where the two of you switch.

He has no qualms with this. It actually feels really nice.

He can understand the comfort it brings.

Satan has never felt so warm and calm in his entire life. 

But there will always be nights where he’s likely not going to be there when you go to sleep. So he invents in a heated and weighted blanket. He makes sure that he sleeps with it on him enough to the point it smells of him.

If it can help, even just a little bit, he’s happy.

The sweet boy just wants to do his best for you. He hates when he isn’t there for bed but sometimes it just cannot be helped.

Asmo

No explanation needed with him.

“Of course I will! I’ve been wondering what it’s like to lay on top of you anyway! You’re always laying on me when we sleep or cuddle!”

This man just adores it.

And he’s the smallest of the brothers so he definitely won’t be crushing you under his weight.

He likes it! It feels like he’s being pampered!

It gives you a great chance to play with his hair and he gets to just bury his face against the side of your neck or against your chest.

He actually likes it more when he’s on top of you. Especially when he’s had a bad day.

It makes you feel better and it helps him feel comforted after a long, awful day.

He feels like it’s his sanctuary almost. 

Nothing can touch him but you.

This is completely innocent. He might make suggestive comments but this little habit you two have won’t be tainted.

Unless you’re the one to start it. 

seriously this is just being said because i’m sick of everyone writing asmo as horny 24/7 and nothing else :))))

Beel:

“No.”

“But-”

“No.”

You gotta understand, this is gonna take A LOT of time and working up to get him to even attempt this.

Even then, he will never lay fully on top of you.

The most you’ll get is gonna be him resting between your legs with his head on your chest.

Beel won’t budge on this either.

“I don’t want to hurt you. I’m a big guy, I weigh a lot.”

All of that muscle comes with him being pretty heavy. Also, he’s somewhere over six feet fucking tall, he’s a very physically dense boi.

He will do what he can to help you but nothing will convince him to ever put more weight than necessary on you.

And even then, he doesn’t sleep too well if this goes on overnight because he’s just so worried about accidentally crushing you in his sleep.

I mean, it took a long time to get him to share a bed with you! And he’s still afraid he might roll over and crush you in his sleep!

Just take what you can get. He’s trying his best, he’s just scared.

He’s beefy and sweet and personally would rather you be laying on him where he feels a little more secure in your safety.

When he’s having a day where he just can’t do it, he gives you his jacket.

It’s heavy and warm and smells just like him. It should help, right? 

Asmo said it would be a good alternative so he tries it.

Plus he gets to see you drowning in the fabric of his jacket because no matter how tall you are, his jacket will make you feel small.

The damn thing is baggy even on him!

Belphie:

Pffft

You never even needed to ask him.

You think you got a choice in this one?

Belphie will lay on top of you just because it means you can’t go anywhere unless you can get him to move.

Which means keeping his warm cuddle partner in bed all day.

So words aren’t needed here.

But you do explain it to him one day while you’re just snuggled in bed together. 

“Huh. Makes sense to me.”

He’s so nonchalant about it. But he understands that someone else’s weight can be comforting.

Why do you think he sometimes pulls you on top of him to lay? 

He takes comfort in it. Your warmth and heartbeat and weight remind him that you’re real. You’re alive. And you won’t be leaving him.

Of course, you’ll still be trapped by the Avatar of Sloth so you better eat and take a bathroom break BEFORE you head to the attic or to his room. 

You won’t be moving until he wakes up.

Sometimes you swear he’s not even asleep based on the cheeky smile etched across his face.

You’ll take it, though. It brings both of you comfort

[ashestospace-fics]

Hi! Can I please request hcs of the obey me brothers as submissive with a Dom Mc?

A/n: damn this is so messy 🥴☠️💦💦 pls excuse me-

Warning: E/smut

Reader: Male

MasterList

Tags: whips, toys, Master/kink, edging, pet play, breeding kink. Blowjobs, chocking, daddy kink 

Lucifer

He thought he was gonna Dom you the first time you guys got down together, oh how wrong he was. You practically flip a switch inside of him and he was left flabbergasted when you two were done together.

A part of him was overly embarrassed that his voice could go that high and react the way he did.

But never the less, he just ends up loving being submissive for you.

A brat, there's no doubt he will be one, he just wants you to put him in his place and make him think about your dick only when you're done with him.

There's just something about you getting so serious and holding him still, neglecting his attempt to get you inside of him that just makes his whole body shake. It has his body shivering when you pull out the whips or cuffs to discipline him. He just has to learn his place.

But he does like being your good boy, in the end, praise him and call him a "good boy" or say "you're taking me so well baby," that just has his eyes rolling when he's just so close to cumming. Stroke his pride or ego a bit and his puddy in his hands.

Mammon

Submissive as fuck, he loves being your good boy. You don't even have to touch him for him to be dripping wet.

As soon as you call him "good boy" or give him any sort of praise for acting well throughout the day, he already has his knees bucking waiting for his reward.

Gets overwhelmed easily, even if you're telling him that's he is doing great on taking you, it just makes him even more aroused.

Even if your get rough on him, he is always thanking you for it. He just wants you to feel him up completely.

Would try to act up at first but is easy to quiet him down with a single hand around his neck or any part of his body. Edging him with a wand until he blabbering that he learn his lesson is enough to get him to drop it quickly.

A big whiner, while sucking you up or when you're stretching him out, just can't control himself.

Leviathan

The most obedient but has zero patience, he craves your touch so much that it's insane. So training him with either butt plugs or vibrators came quickly into place for him to learn how to wait.

Always asking for permission if he can touch himself or stretch himself out when you're away. Using the toys you bought for him of course.

Degrade him and praise him at the same time and he confusedly aroused cause he just doesn't know if he should feel embarrassed or not.

Crumbles under your touch so easily, it's embarrassing how wet he gets just by a little foreplay or orders.

"how gross, you ruin this set already? I haven't even touched you" it has him whining and whimpering.

Stuttering and whimpering mess when you ask him what he wants.

Satan

Very obedient, he loves it when you take full control of him and make him forget everything.

Calls you Master/sir, being called "pet" or "kitten" the first time had him flustered up and hard. The idea of being it just had him on his knees asking to please you so quickly.

Tell him to be good and he'll get to wear his favorite leach or tail. Getting him those cat butt plugs had him desperate the first few times.

Milking you is one of his favorite treats but you telling him if he does good you'll breed him and filled up just makes him the most submissive when you play with insides.

Asmodeus

Sneaky brat will cause trouble so you can either fuck him silly or get punished. Either outcome is fun for him either way.

"oh I'm sorry Daddy I won't do it again" lies, you both know it, but it's fun this way.

Get him all overstimulated as you keep fucking him orgasm after orgasm. That just has his eyes rolling feeling you deep inside.

Will not give you a break, is sneaky for many reasons, as in sending you pictures or videos of him playing with himself. "My cunt is all wet and empty when are you coming home?" 

He loves it when your roughy but when your sweet and gentle at times is when he gets overly submissive at the contrast. Slow and loving? Telling him how much you adore him? It has him whimpering at every single word and touch.

Beelzebub

Lives to serve, Does his best to make you feel good and just wants to taste you 24/7.

Run your hands through his hair and tell him how great he's doing and he gets more into it. Low rumbles coming from his throat as he drools all over you, his very messy. "Am I doing go-good?"

Focus on making you feel good mainly and listening to you then getting off.

But it's very common for Beel to cum untouched just by just sucking you off. He just cants help himself, the smell of you and the taste just get that poor baby dizzy.

There's a mix of roughness and gentleness that drives him insane. Let it be you covering his body with bite marks and just pounding into him like there's no tomorrow to changing it up to thrusting into him slowly while covering his face with kisses as you hold his face.

Edging him when your hands it's pure torture for him, but loves the aftershocks of how hard he cums.

Belphegor

Does it even surprise you that he's bratty? He refuses to listen to you just to spite you and get you to come to his room or the attic. He mostly does it to get your attention all for himself.

Does the absolute most when you leave, he just enjoys you punishing him too much for his own good. Fucking him stupid until his whole body is shaking and jolting. That's enough for his brain to go swimming.

Let it be a mess of your room, humping your pillows, making sure his arousal covers everywhere. Taking your clothes and underwear and calling at the wrong moments just to moan in the call about what's he's doing.

Will try to play innocent. "Why's daddy so mad? I been in my room all day like a good boy" the sly smirk on his face is enough to tic you off easily.

Spank him, pinch his nipples and just do more foreplay until he starts begging, he'll be dripping shamelessly on your lap saying sorry and that he'll be good. crumbling down to a whiny desperate mess. 

[simplyfandomish]

Test Subject 101: BITTEN Chapter 12: Festive Holiday

SUMMARY: Hawkins, Indiana was a quiet town that travelers would use as a pitstop to Disneyland.

There was nothing special about the small community...Unless you're talking about the super-secret government facility at the edge of town that experiments on children and is home to a gateway to another dimension.

Now that's strange.

An (eventual) Steve Harrington x Reader 

(not as much romance this first season as story needs to be set up first. More romance will come with our beloved mother of six within later books)

Trigger Warnings: Blood, lots of blood mainly from nosebleeds, usual Stranger Things gore and spookiness. The demogorgon is an asshole...all my homies hate the demogorgon.     

MAIN MASTERLIST

TEST SUBJECT 101 SERIES MASTERLIST 

Story cross posted on ao3 & Quotev

You were so glad that your coma only lasted two weeks and not two months because then you would have missed an amazing holiday! Christmas! 

Usually, your Christmas consisted of you decorating the Great Stand Hotel, getting a microwavable dinner with gross ham and burnt gravy with chalky mashed potatoes, and watching whatever Christmas movie was on the TV in the staff breakroom. But now you could say this was the best Christmas of your life! 

You and Nancy went shopping for presents, giggling and trying on different clothing items and makeup brands. You'll never forget her horrified face when you spun around in the makeup chair with bright-colored lipstick and eyeshadow with eyeliner pencil scribbled messily on your waterline. You didn't know or care for makeup - as you were trapped in a lab for your whole life and then lived like a mouse in an attic - but you had purposefully made a mess of your face to get a reaction. 

However, your interest was piqued when she redid your makeup with light touches, simple blush, and gloss.

You stared in the mirror for much longer than Nancy anticipated, “Do you like it? I like it. You look really pretty.” She smiled. Her lighter color lip gloss shimmered under the store lights.

You gawked at your reflection. Taking in the fullness of your drawn eyebrows, how long your lashes were with mascara, and how you looked much more human and not a recent coma victim with the added blush and lip coloring. “T-that’s…” You choked up, “That’s really me? In there?” 

Nancy’s smile softened and her eyes grew sad. The memory of you retelling your story as a lab experiment flashed in her head. For years you were not exposed to life outside of the labs or abandoned buildings. So of course you’ve never worn makeup. Your bold and scribble makeup look before made much more sense then.

”I’m…so beautiful.”

That day Princess Nancy Wheeler bought you massacre and a tinted lip balm for both saving her ass, being her friend, and for the holidays. 

___________

When you accidentally confessed your usual holiday plans there was an argument between the Party as to who you would spend Christmas Eve with. You made a sarcastic joke and the boys leaped at the opportunity. 

Lucas wasn't as adamant as compared to Mike, Will, and Dustin. 

Mike wanted you to join because El couldn’t. You could understand his desperation to feel any substance left of his first love and kiss, but you didn’t want that to be through you. Plus, the Wheeler’s were still weary about who they let into their home after the whole “harboring a Russian girl-spy” accusations.

 Dustin’s mother had never met you or heard of you - scratch that Mrs. Henderson was quite familiar with you due to her son’s blabbering mouth and rose-tinted cheeks. The curly-haired boy developed a crush on you and was awful at hiding it. He kept comparing you to an angel, a Jedi, or some gorgeous original character in his X-Men comics. You knew this from Will and from Dustin’s poor ability to keep his voice down. The cute curly-haired boy had it bad.  

In the end, Will was triumphant due to playing the "she saved my life" card and Joyce’s insistence. Plus, you’ve become an older sister figure to the boy and a daughter that Joyce never had. Meaning you couldn't say no to his and his mother’s matching puppy dog eyes. Which also meant you were wearing matching ugly Christmas sweaters with the youngest Byers boy. 

Nancy covered her mouth when she opened her front door and took in the sweater. It was definitely unattractive with its bright Christmas colors and reindeer patterns are sewn in random places across the front, back, and arms. She tried to hide her chuckles, "W-What are you wearing?"

"Will made me match with him." You grumbled and entered her pretty house. Now that she could recall she did notice Will wearing a horrendously colored sweater but didn't get a good look as he ran past her into the nerd basement. She'd have to see Will's sweater when he came out to see if you were truly matching or not. 

The Wheeler house was gorgeously decorated for the winter holiday. With wreaths and garlands along the staircase banister and the fireplace mantles. Her house smelled delicious as Mrs. Wheeler was finishing up the grand holiday feast to be set on an equally grand holiday table. It made your stomach grumble and you hoped Will's DnD campaign was almost finished.

"Hey, (Yn)." You turned to the living room where Steve and Mr. Wheeler were watching whatever sports game was on. Nancy’s father was out cold as he lay in his recliner with his youngest daughter coloring beside his feet. 

You were still surprised that King Steve was nice to you now - but then again, the both of you had fought a supernatural creature to the death and you saved his life. 

You were also surprised how quickly Steve and Nancy had gotten back together. Especially because Steve and his cronies did some horrible things to tarnish Nancy’s perfect image. Plus you really thought Jonathan was going to buckle up his big boy pants and finally confess to the Princess. Only a month has passed…

The whole thing was confusing and headache-inducing and all you wanted to do was get to the Byers's house and FEAST.

You nodded in greeting to him, "Hey, Steve. Merry Christmas. Nice sweater." He too was wearing a questionably designed Christmas cardigan buttoned over a crisp white shirt.

"Yeah, Merry Christmas." He was still awkward around you as he was a bystander to Tommy H and Carol's long-lasting bully sessions but it was going to be water under the bridge in the future. Some friendships required baby steps. Especially when said friendship is with the King and Princess of Hawkins High. Steve snickered, "Nice sweater." 

You rolled your eyes and huffed in amusement, "Don't remind me." You turned back to Nancy. "Are the boys done?"

"They better be. They've been down there for 10 hours."

You choked, "10 hours?!"

"Yeah." She led you to the basement door through the kitchen, "Please get them out of my house." You chuckled and descended the basement. You volunteered to pick up Will from the Wheeler's house as you were closest. 

The boys whipped their heads to the stairs and you gagged dramatically. "Jeez, what's that smell? You guys been playing games all day or just farting?" The boys giggled. 

Lucas shook his head and gained an evil glint in his eye, "Oh, that's just Dustin...He farted." 

The curly-haired boy smiled at you with a love-sick grin before his heart plummeted to his feet at what Lucas had stated. "I did not!"

"Dustin farted~" Lucas blew a raspberry.

"Real mature, Lucas!" He didn't want you to think he was just a nasty gassy boy!

"Dustin farted~!" Lucas continued to embarrass the boy to the beat of one of Michael Jackson's songs.  

"Lucas, shut up!" Dustin was so embarrassed that he pulled his cap lower on his head. You couldn't help but chuckle at his misery as you approached the blushing boy. 

"It's okay, Dusty. Everyone does it." You tried to console the boy and pulled a small wrapped box from your purse, "Merry Christmas." His eyes widened and sparkled at the prospect that you had given him a gift. You! His powerful, supernatural angel! "I got a little something for each of you." Dustin's smile dropped when you pulled out more colorful packages from your purse and handed them to the Party. He thought you had only gotten gifts just for him!

Lucas didn't hesitate to rip into his present. "Oh whoa! How cool!" Mike, Dustin, and Will ripped open their presents too. Inside the little boxes was a painted miniature of each of them as their DnD mains. Will had a wizard's hat and robe that were painted purple with small yellow stars. The paladin had Will's shaggy black hair. The hooded ranger had Lucas' skin color and the hood was painted as his favorite color. Finally, Dustin's bard had his curly hair and dimples. "It's us!" Will gasped.

"Yup! I made them in workshop!” You smiled with pride. “I had to make up to credit at school and decided ‘Hey! Why not make this fun?’ So I made your players!”

"Thanks, (Y/n)!" "Yeah, thank you!" The boys crowded around you in a group hug. 

"Of course, boys! You ready, Will?"

Will nodded and gathered his stuff. The boys dispersed from your torso, except for Dustin. The curly-haired toothless boy was comfortably snuggled into your stomach. "Uhhh, Dusty?" He hummed. "Do you wanna let go of me?" He shook his head and sighed all lovey-dovey before remembering where he was and gasped. He jumped away as if you had burned him and began to stammer out an excuse. You giggled over his mumbles and pushed his cap further down his face. 

"Merry Christmas, boys!" You cheered one last time before ascending the stairs. "Let's go, Will."

"Bye, (Y/n)!" They waved. 

"Yeah~ Bye (Y/n)~" Lucas cooed as she continued to tease Dustin even more.

"I'll kill you!" Dustin screamed and pummeled Lucas' shoulder. The boys erupted into a hissy fit. Yup, definitely time to go!

"See ya, Nance! Steve," you waved at the couple cuddling on the couch as you opened the front door. Nancy waved and snorted when she finally saw you and Will in your matching sweaters. 

"So did you win?" You asked and turned the ignition on in your car. The car rumbled as a large blast of heat was pushed through the vents. Will nodded and put on his seatbelt. "Yup! It was a Thesyllhydra that cornered us, but I used a fireball attack and defeated it! We have to get you involved in our next campaign! A wizard like me! Dustin insists you be some sort of Princess though…so he could probably rescue you. Like in Donkey Kong.”

You chuckled. The image of Dustin in Mario’s red overalls and large red hat popped into your head. "Sounds like a plan, kid."

"Joyccceeeee~" You sang as you opened the front door to the small Byers' household. 

"Oh! Oh!" You could hear Joyce rush around the kitchen before she flew into the living room to greet you. "Merry Christmas, sweetie!" She engulfed you in her thin arms and hugged you tightly. "I'm so glad you could join us!"

"Of course, Joyce! I could never say no to your hospitality - and Will's puppy dog eyes." You stuck your tongue out at Will. Will copied your action as he pushed past you and went straight for the presents under the Christmas tree.   

A camera flash covered the entire common room. Jonathan stood at the entry of the room with his camera in his face. "Hey, (Y/n)." He smiled lightly.

"Hey, Jonathan." You smiled at your friend. 

"Oh! The gravy!" Joyce yelped and fled back into the kitchen. Jonathan went to take pictures of Will sitting by the tree and you could hear Joyce fumble with lots and lids.  The house was much smaller than the Wheeler's and had a whole different aesthetic, but you loved the coziness and comfort that radiated from the wooden panels and floral print wallpaper. 

It was crazy how the interior of the house had drastically changed a month ago. The floor was clean with no trash and newspaper articles, the hole in the front wall had been fixed, as well as the back hallway window, and the hallway was wiped clean and back to normal. No blood, no monster guts, not even a burn mark could be spotted. You exhaled. The house had been wiped clean and was ready to start anew - much like you and your new life. 

The Byers' house was decorated simply with a random Christmas wreath here and there as well as a poinsettia plant, and only a few lines of Christmas bulbs hung from the ceiling. Joyce was eager to return and toss away the many lights she had from the incident; Out of sight, out of mind.

"I hope you kids are hungry~ Ah, Jonathan!" Joyce nearly drooped the tray of mashed potatoes when Jonathan took a flash picture. "Sorry, mom! I-I'm just documenting."

"Nooo," Joyce whined, embarrassed to be photographed. “Why?” She used her oven mitt to cover her face.

"Because...." Jonathan trailed off and took another picture.  

"Because you're an awesome mom and you look lovely tonight. And the food looks delicious!" You leaned against the opening to the dining room. Joyce blushed and pretended to smack you with her oven mitt.

"Oh, this is just so overcooked," she gestured to the small maple sugared ham, "and the potatoes are runny...They're so runny." She muttered and played with the soupy mashed potatoes. Jonathan came and rested a hand on her shoulder, "Mom, it's going to be great."

"Anything beats microwavable dinner food." You piped up as you grabbed a seat at the dining table. Will was quick to sit next to you. "It's definitely an Atari." He stated.

"An a-what-i?" Joyce furrowed her brow in mock confusion. 

"The green present. It's an Atari. I felt Dustin's today, it's the exact same weight." Will answered all smug-like. The adults shared a knowing look with each other. You were there with Jonathan and Joyce as they picked up the gaming system. 

"Really?" Joyce drawled, "Well, we'll just have to see, won't we?" She smiled at her youngest and picked up her fork. The table followed the matriarch. Will paused before getting out of his chair. "Hey, no more snooping." She lectured her youngest. 

"I'm not! I'm not! Just gotta go wash my hands. I'll be right back."

"He's washing his hands?" Joyce chuckled softly, brows furrowed in mock disbelief. 

"Maybe he's learning about germs and etiquette?" You snickered and pierced a cooked carrot with your fork. But you froze as the hair on the back of your neck rose. As soon as you felt the shift in atoms wobble they returned to normal. Will came back to the dining table. 

"Are you okay?" Joyce noticed the tiny pinch of her youngest son's brows.

"Me? I-I'm fine." Will shrugged it off and began to cut into the ham. 

Jonathan was clueless and moaned in delight as he chewed his food, "It's very good, mom." The festive energy returned to the table and you shrugged off the weirdness. Maybe it was some residual supernatural bullshit as you were sitting in the home where the Demogorgon had jumped dimensions the most in. Yeah...you liked the sound of that theory.  

You hummed, "Will, wanna tell them about your campaign?"

Will's eyes brightened and he too shook off the weird phenomenon that occurred in the bathroom. "Oh yeah! I threw a fireball at him and..." Will imitated an explosion with his hands, "dead."

Joyce blinked in confusion but did her best to be invested, "Wait, this is-" "No, it's just Dungeons and Dragons."

"Dungeons and Dragons, right? Of course." Joyce was the coolest mom in the world and you were lucky to be eating her food, at her dining table, in her home, on such a festive holiday. 

You smiled and slurped down the runny mashed potatoes with the slightly too salty gravy. 

You didn’t want to be anywhere else in the world than right here. In the small, cozy single-story home with mix-matched furniture and rugs. With the scrawny tree in the corner wrapped in colorful lights, popcorn strands, and random ornaments. Surrounded by the small and lovable family of the Byers clan that consisted of a small woman with wild hair, her perverted quiet, and creative photographer son, and her youngest brave son who survived Hell on Earth.

As content and happy as you were, there would always be a part of you that would always yearn for your little sister to be right beside you.

that is the end of the FIRST BOOK of the Test Subject 101 series! Book 2/Season 2 is already underway and we’ll be introduced to some more loveable characters!🥰 

Will romance blossom?? Will friendships fall apart?? Will the Reader be safe??

We’ll just have to see ;)

[thewritetofreespeech]

im down bad for the obey me brothers... idk if you write straight up nsfw, but if you do could i maybe get mc asking the brothers to finger her until she cums 👉🏻👈🏻 i saw someone ask this on another blog and ive been obsessed with this idea ever since. thank you in advance!

Just made it under the wire for Sexual Sunday!!!

Obey Me Boys + Naughty MC Headcanons (NSFW)

Lucifer

Startled initially, but delighted with your boldness

“You need only ask, my dear one.”

Would have you sit on his lap in his study where you asked him

No one is going to bother you in there because no one, besides you, would dare enter on their own

Once you’re settled he’d pull one glove off his hand with his teeth

His other hand is currently wrapped around your waist

Despite being gloved all the time, his touch is cool on your outer thigh

It slowly moved up your leg and under your uniform skirt

Moving to your inner thigh only when it was under the thin pleaded material

He’d gently urge your legs open, and start to stroke you

On the outside of your panties at first. Feeling them get moist

Then, when you were whimpering on his kneed, he’d slip his fingers past your panties and inside you

His touch is decisive and firm

Well practiced, he has you cumming in seconds or hours

Depends on his mood that day

Does not need you to reciprocate. He’ll get his eventually. Right now is about you

Mammon

Shocked, at first, but quickly tries to recover and act cool

“Ha. Of course you would come to The Great Mammon, and your first man, to take care of you doll.”

Would take you to his room; and be immediately embarrassed at the state it’s in

He wasn’t expecting company

He lays you down on the bed, nestled in his expensive Egyptian cotton sheets, and starts with a soft kiss.

He’d groan audibly when he pulled up your RAD skirt to see you wearing the designer underwear he bought you

Just for him

He’d keep them on and slip his hand down you panties

His touch is shy, at first

He wants to make sure he’s doing it right, what you like

When he starts to hear you moan and feel you buck up into his hand, he gets more confident

Mammon can’t keep his mouth shut to save his life. So it’s no different in bed

Whispers a lot of “you like that baby?”, “does that feel good?”, “you look so hot baby.” in your ear

When you do cum he feels very proud of himself

He’ll lay next to you and kiss you softly

Will ask you to return the favor cause he’s super hard now

Levi

Immediate panic attack

“W-W-Whaaaattt??!”

Doesn’t believe you, at first. Why would you want a gross otaku like him to do....that to you??

Once you convince him that you’re telling him the truth, then you have to convince him to actually do it

He’s red as a tomato

You’d have to go to your room because Levi can’t do it in front of his figurines

He doesn’t want them to see him being all ecchi

Tries to undress you, but his hands shake too much

You’ll have to take your panties, and whatever else, off yourself

Once you’ve reached the point of no return, he’ll screw his courage to the sticking place and go for it

You’re his precious Hime-sama. He’d do anything for you

Despite his nerves, he’s really good at this

All those hours of gaming have given his fingers incredibly dexterity

No one is more surprised than you when he has you cumming so face

Still super shocked that he did this with you, but also a little proud of himself

Wouldn’t dream of asking you to do anything for him. He’d die of embarrassment if he had to ask

Satan

Surprised to say the least, but attempts to remain calm

“Well if....that’s what you want....”

Would take you back to his room for privacy

Would need to clear off his bed of the dozen or so books on it, but would set you down carefully on the comforter

He’s a little nervous

He’s usually not a sexually person (like some idiots he could name)

But something about you lights a fire in him

It’s strange to be burning up inside with something other than anger

His touch is deliberate and sound

You’ve asked him to make you cum. And cum you shall.

He doesn’t pussy-foot around and gets right to the task of fondling you

His fingers stroking your clit. Jutting in and out of you rhythmically

He won’t admit how much it turns him on to hear you say his name, but he’ll ask you to say it again

Calls you his ‘little kitten’ when he asks if you’re going to come

When you do his chest swells with pride. Let’s see those idiots do that to you

Would be interested in reciprocation, but won’t ask for it. If you offer, he’d be willing. A gentleman doesn’t do favors for reward though.

Asmo

Delighted beyond measure

“Ah~! My sweet [Y/N]! How naughty!”

Asmo, of course, is the most eager to please you

You coming to him openly for pleasure is a rare treat

One he’s going to take advantage of

He’d take you to his room and lay you on his bed like the princess you are

Takes his time getting you out of your RAD uniform

He doesn’t want your clothes wrinkled. Plus he wants to see all of you.

Will kiss and tease any patch of skin he can get his hands on

As he said, this is a rare treat. He’s going to take advantage of it

His touch on your apex is as teasing as his kisses

They are infuriatingly light. But he knows what he’s doing

Asmo is obviously the most experienced

So he knows how to give his partner mind shattering orgasms

Will tease and taught and tempt you until your body bows off the bed and you’re practically gushing around his fingers

Would want you to reciprocate, or let him fuck you. Let’s both feel good together.

Beel

Turns about as red as his hair when you ask him.

"S-Sure. If you want.”

Would want to go it in your room. He doesn’t want Belphie to walk in on you two

Nervous

He’s not the most experienced out of the bunch

Until now, he’s only ever thought about eating, or working out, or his brothers

Not until you

Would let you lay yourself on the bed and cover over to you

He’s scared about crushing you

His touch is a bit clunky

His hands are big and rough, and he doesn’t know what to do with them

But, he’s earnest

He genuinely wants to make you feel good so he tries his hardest

Asks a lot of questions like “am I going this right?”, “does this feel good?”, “is this ok?” to make sure he’s doing it right

When you cum, he licks his fingers. Fascinated with what you taste like. You’re his new favorite flavor

Doesn’t ask you to reciprocate. Too embarrassed to ask. Just wants to hold you. That makes him feel good.

Belphie

Slow, sleepy blink followed by slow, sleepy grin

“Eeeeh...[Y/N]-chan. You’re a pervert.”

Would take you up to his attic room so you can be alone

There’s a sky light with stars that’s really romantic

He wants you to see stars before you see stars

Nuzzles you in bed to breath in your scent

He loves the way you smell

Takes off your uniform top and panties, but leaves your bra and skirt on

He likes your skirt. And you look sluttier half naked than fully naked

Will get right down to business on you

Touching you roughly to pull an orgasm out of you

But he doesn’t stop there

He’ll pull another. Then another. Until once where you were begging him to make you cum now you’re begging him to stop.

He thinks your whimpers, teetering between pleasure & pain, are so adorable

So is your puffy, swollen cunt

Won’t ask you to reciprocate. He’s already got off on your weak, gentle crying. Will hold you and snuggle you for the rest of the night.

[moemammon]

You are not Beyoncé but you're singing your heart out when you think you're home alone.

(Featuring the demon brothers and GN!MC)

For once, you had the house to yourself! Was this a miracle?? Were the heavens finally smiling down on you from above? Was this the result of all your good karma??? Whatever it was, you were almost certain that you were alone for once.

And what did that mean? Time for a good ol' fashion jam session. You put on your favorite tunes and set them to blast through the speaker of your D.D.D. while you danced around the house, singing your heart out. Who cared if some of your notes were flat, or if you had to drop a few pitches to hit those high notes?

Not you. You were just living your best life without a care in the world.

Until...

Lucifer

Of course the eldest would be around. Arguably the most mysterious and omnipotent brother in the house, so yeah. He's there.

He told you this morning that he’d have a meeting to attend after classes today. You thought he’d be out for a long while, but it just so happened that the meeting ended early today, much to his relief.

Not to yours though, because that means that Lucifer has front row seats to your amazing concert without your permission.

He didn't even have the courtesy to make himself known! He just waited in the kitchen, quietly preparing his coffee while your singing echoed through the halls.

You were sauntering your way to the kitchen as well, fumbling over forgotten lyrics without a care in the world, when you saw him.

Enemy spotted.

Does this mean he heard every single time your voice cracked-

Your eyes lock and Lucifer doesn't even mention what you were just doing, despite the obviously being within earshot of you.

You really start feeling the heat rising in your cheeks when he says "You seem to be in a good mood. Did something good happen to you at RAD today?"

Regardless of how you respond (or not), Lucifer turns his back to you to tidy up, and says "....I don't believe I've ever heard your singing before. You'll have to give me an encore in my office some time."

You swear you can hear the mischief in his tone....

Mammon

This seriously was unheard of. An afternoon without having mammon glued to your hip?? Hell must've frozen over or something.

Regardless, you weren't going to take this for granted! Mammon did mention something about a 'foolproof money making scheme' he had a dream about last night, so he was probably off trying to see if he could make it a reality.

Things like this usually took a huge chunk of greedy boy's afternoon, so you figured you were safe to sing as you pleased!

Besides, he probably would've texted you if he were on the way home, right?

Apparently not, because Mammon was very much home, and did not send you a text. Honestly? He forgot to. He was too busy wallowing in self pity.

How was he supposed to know that using magic to duplicate grim was illegal??

He managed to escape any real trouble and made his way back home, only to have his ears immediately blessed (or assaulted) by your singing.

He's not the type to sit around in secret until you notice him, so catch this boy marching around the house until he finds you himself. Not so quietly calling out your name the entire time, too.

Mammon caught you in the empty library singing your heart out. The acoustics were great in there! They also kinda drowned out the outside noise, so you couldn't really hear him yelling for you.

"Oh, I thought you were screamin' about a bug or something. What song is that?"

He's not shy about singing in the shower at the top of his lungs, so it's not like he's judging you?? But he's got his phone out when you spot him. The bastard is recording you...

So your knee jerk reaction is to attack

"Wh- Oi!! What're ya hitting me for?! I don't care if it's just a pillow- Hey!"

He has chosen death. Goodbye Mammon.

Leviathan

It was kind of bold of you to assume that Levi would ever be out of the house, but he DID mention something about a concert he wanted to attend..? Or some kind of book signing?

You don't really remember, and you don't have the mental strength to scroll through the sea of spam texts he's sent you today.

C'est la vie.

Since you're pretty sure you're alone, you're not taking your solo concert all around the house of lamentation, from the foyer to the west wing, up to the attic and down to the dining room.

Gotta find the perfect spot to sing this next part. It's got a really good bit with a flute, and you wanna stare longingly out of a window or something-

And it's when you pass by otaku man's room that he decides to make himself known by poking his head out. His headset is around his neck and his hair's a little tousled, hinting that he was in the middle of gaming.

You freeze. Neither of you can look the other in the eye.

It takes a while before the silence can be broken, but before you can say a word, Levi speaks.

"Y-You know... you should come to karaoke with me! Only if you want to, I mean! I didn't know you were a fan of singing, so... but you probably have other plans, right? You don't want to hang out with a gross otaku like me blah blah blah-"

You aren't sure if your brain is malfunctioning from being caught in the act, or from the word vomit spilling from everyone's favorite weeb.

Satan

Satan is a good, studious boy so you assumed he was staying after class to head to the library. He was lagging behind, so you didn't question it.

Or maybe he was planning his next prank? Lucifer did have to make an announcement tomorrow morning in front of the student body, and Satan had been awfully interested in glitter bombs lately...

Whatever the case, he wasn't home right now! Or so you thought.

You were busy switching between two different choruses AND a sick guitar riff all in one song, so there was no time to be thinking about the demon's whereabouts.

You did wonder where you left your bag at, though. You vaguely recalled dumping it at the front door, so maybe that's where it was?

Scooting your way down the hall like a music powered locomotive, you were right in the middle of imitating the sound of drums when you spotted the trembling grin plastered to Satan's face.

Hm.

Maybe you could ask Diavolo about sending you back to the human world right now.

"Sorry, I didn't know you were here, or I would've said something." Satan tells you, clearing his throat to further suppress his laughter. From the way his shoulders are shaking, he was barely holding on.

"I didn't think you were the type to like songs like that. Do you have a playlist you could recommend me? I'm interested after seeing how much you enjoy it."

That cheeky grin of his never breaks for a second, so you can't tell if he's actually asking for recommendations, or if he's watching for your reaction.

Asmo

Not a surprise that you assumed he wasn't home, since he rarely is. He's always out partying or shopping around, so you usually don't see him much around this time.

But that also means you're free to sing as loudly as you want! Look out Mariah Carey, there's a new high note singer in town.

Asmo can vouch for that! Because he can hear you. Clearly.

Okay but he's one of those people that joins in while you're singing.

Legit the moment he goes inside and recognizes your song, he's trying to serenade you from the other side of the house.

And boy do you hear him. This man can SING (as expected of a fallen angel), and he likes to sing loudly. He wants all eyes on him after all!

And maybe you'll be so smitten by his angelic voice that you'll come running into his arms and beg that he takes you right then and there!

Wishful thinking though, because that is not how you reacted. Boo...

He finds you, and wants to know what you think of his voice. "Well? My singing was beautiful, wasn't it~? I used to sing all the time up in the celestial realm! I don't mind giving you some private lessons back in my room~"

Was he implying that you needed lessons? Maybe... but he's a sweetheart about it so can you really be mad at him?

Beel

A crepe cart recently opened up for a limited time, and there was no way Beel was going to miss that. And knowing him, he wouldn't come home until there were no traces of food left in sight.

So you figured you'd have plenty of time to brush up on your sea shanties! Bold of you to assume...

Beel can inhale a billion times his weight in food in like, five minutes. What made you think he wouldn't be back home by now?

He was full for a good ten minutes (a new record!) and spent that time in his bedroom, hence why you didn't hear his usual rummaging through the kitchen for food.

Speaking of food, you were feeling kind of hungry yourself! And a little parched from all the singing, so a snack break couldn't hurt!

You slid on your socks along the hardwood floor all the way to the kitchen... where you nearly slammed into Beel. There he was, the mad lad himself.

He was also on the way to the kitchen. Surprise surprise, right? And he managed to catch you by the shoulders before you could slide into anything.

Beel is the least phased by your singing. He just thinks it's nice that you were comfortable enough to sing so loudly! Good to see that you're enjoying yourself.

He doesn't exactly address it? Instead he moves his hand forward to place something into yours.

It's a crepe that he saved, just for you! You stare at the delicate pastry, all topped with layers of fluffy whipped cream, strawberries and blueberries, and lovingly drizzled with chocolate sauce! There's a bite taken out of the side, though-

"I tried my best to hold back, but I took a bite. Sorry..."

How can you be mad at him?? You're not even embarrassed about the singing anymore tbh. Too full of love to care 💕💕

Belphie

When,,,, was Belphie ever not home,, like,,,,

This man has never seen a classroom in his life, so it's not like you could've expected him to be at RAD.

And he wasn't usually in town?? Definitely a homebody.

But Beel wanted someone to go with him to that crepe cart, and Belphie couldn't exactly turn his dear brother down when he gave him those big baby eyes-

And since Beel wasn't home, you figured Belphie was still out, too!

Spoiler alert: you thought wrong.

Belphie was home, and now wide awake thanks to your banshee screams singing. He managed to slip away from Beel when he got too tired. He didn't really want a crepe anyway, so he decided to head back.

Only to be rudely awaken... how dare you...

He's hellbent on finding you, JUST so he can get you to shush. Please.. let him rest his weary bones...

When he does locate you, you have your back turned to him and your music on max volume, occupying yourself with grabbing your clean laundry to take back to your room.

He doesn't speak, instead choosing to watch you shimmy around to the beat of your song. And when you do a little spin, you turn right around to face him and get to witness the sheer amusement on his face.

He's NOT letting your forget about this moment. And you can't escape him either, he won't let you.

The bastard corners you just to repeatedly ask "Hey, what were you singing? I haven't heard that one in a while. Mind singing it again for me?"

"With a voice like that, I'm afraid to ask you to sing me a lullaby."

"...Just kidding. Your face is really red right now, you know?"

You feel the sudden urge to stuff him into the dryer, but you resist.

The urge grows stronger when he imitates the little dance you were doing.

[gloryofluv]

How do you think the brothers would react to walking into MC’s room after looking for them to find them lying on bed, headphones in with a full face mask on? I’m talking cucumber slices on the eyes the whole deal. (Obviously Beel is gonna eat the cucumber but hey 😅)

Ah, thanks anon for a fun one! Self care is soooo important! Makes me want to go do a face mask now. Especially if my favorite boys are going to be there.

The Brothers Walking in on MC Enjoying a Face Mask and Self Care

Lucifer-

Busy demon boy. He knocks but is a bit concerned when he doesn’t hear an answer. Actually, a bit perturbed, if we’re honest! (Solely believes you should definitely answer him at whatever time he spends the time to do a welfare check)

Stops at the door when he sees MC lounging on their bed. Amused. Amusement turns to warm fuzzies. There they are, the affliction of his wounded heart, relaxing and listening to music, completely oblivious to watchful eyes.

The face mask even adds a pleasant smell to the room. Well, well, aren’t they a gorgeous, flawed mess? Won’t admit to wanting to encourage this in his personal space. Most certainly won’t confess to wanting to slurp up the peaceful energy of said self-care either.

Instead, he slips into the kitchen, being positive to not being seen. He prepares a relaxing herbal tea that always refreshes him on the off chance of a moment of peace. Once that is brewed to perfection, he will, with deadly silence, sneak into MC’s room and set the cup down.

They manage to peel the cucumbers off just before watching his silent escape. The warm tea is steaming next to them on the night table.

Cute. Stalkery, but cute.

"I enjoy thoroughly that you don't need to be instructed to take care of yourself."

Mammon-

Never knocks. Don’t expect it now. Even after he heard Asmo gave MC an excellent something or other to have some personal time. MC’s time is his time.

He barges into the room with his usual bravado, to note that MC hadn’t even commented. He glances over to see this goopy mess with cucumbers and a towel around their hair. Ugh. Asmo has them into that stupid self-care crap he’s been shoving!

Pouty boy. Wants attention and their attention to be real. He slumps on the bed and removes a cucumber from MC’s eyes. Starts talking regardless of if MC can hear. Then blames MC for not paying attention when they take off their headphones.

Starts a nonsense conversation. Doesn’t care about the topic, but he will continue it as long as MC gives him attention. Will be a blushing mess if MC asks if he wants them to do a mask for him.

Mammon snorts and deflects about that being Asmo’s thing. However, if MC offers to do the whole pampering effect that comes with the face mask… well, he might, ya know, be alright, maybe? Blushy blushy mess.

MC kisses his cheek, and he’s done for, even if he jumps up and spits out about it being gross and crackly from the mask. Has to leave. Cuteness overload. Poor baby boi doesn’t know how to handle soft feelings so well.

“Yeah, well, I gotta go. Maybe when you clean that crap off, you can come to my room. We’ll do something, ya know, together?”

Levi-

Knocks twice. Pissed MC didn’t answer. Glances in and blinks. Oh, they looked so peaceful. Is that the Rui-chan plushie he gave them? Oh, MC is tugging at his heart like an anime trope!

Slides inside and debates on bothering them. Just wants to admire MC a moment while he’s blushing and his brain is sputtering. MC had the plushie against their chest while relaxing on the bed.

Fiddles with his fingers and knows he should leave but likes this. A lot. Wants no one else to bother them. This moment is his. Cute. MC is a cute, adorable anime story waiting to be told. The only thing missing…

MC shifts and peels off a cucumber to reach for the boba tea he bought them earlier. Cue, nervous, mortified otaku!

However, MC doesn’t get upset and waves before taking off their headphones. They say they were just enjoying the TSL soundtrack. Even more blushing??! He can’t handle it and covers his face.

Sputtering about some streaming he needed to do, he tells them not to forget to meet him after dinner for their friendship dailies! Runs, not walks, out of the room.

Clutches his heart the whole way up the stairs and even hides his face from Mammon as he passes him on the stairs. It was just like that anime. I fell in love with a witch, and she didn’t even realize it because I can’t speak. The scene was remarkably similar.

“Ah, yeah, well, I just wanted t-to be sure you’re still coming t-tonight. You are right? I mean, I don’t want to bother you with it, y-yeah?”

Satan-

Knocks three times. Patiently waits. Until he’s not patient. Not happy to be ignored without even a response as to why MC isn’t answering.

Opens the door to see MC on their bed in a face mask. Aww, that’s cute. He likes cute things, and MC is equated to a cat sunbathing in a window. Walks over and touches MC’s shoulder.

MC jerks, but as the cucumber is removed, they smile and pat the bed. He is so pleased. Sitting down toward the center of the mattress, he assists MC to relax against his lap. Without removing their headphones, they comply.

He then opens his book and begins to read while removing the towel around MC’s hair. Ah, yes, this was peaceful and relaxing in so many ways. He was able to stroke MC’s hair and read with them while they indulged in self-care.

Perfection. He even offers to help them clean their face. Sweet little nerd. Knows why self-care is so important and relishes that MC doesn't mind his presence while doing so.

“I know you can’t hear me, but I thoroughly enjoy it when you take care of yourself. It makes me want to take care of you more.”

Asmo-

Barges in. Knows exactly what they're doing when he sees MC. Actually, knows it’s a great idea and skips up to his bathroom for his face mask! Has it prepped and ready to go with his own set of cucumbers.

Races into the room and tucks onto the bed next to MC. They remove the cucumbers and smile with a nod before taking off their headphones. He is so happy! Place the cucumbers on his own eyes.

Talk. Real talk, honey. Will go on about his Devilgram, what he saw at RAD, and even his brothers. All of it is light and airy. No bitching in a pamper session. This is all about that dopamine and good feels.

Insists that they continue with this pamper session with massages and manicures. Won’t mind at all if MC says they want to start doing this weekly. He is there, baby!

It becomes routine, and no one is going to disturb them! Encourages MC to try different masks and will be the guru of making them look as great as they make him feel! Expect cuddles and lots of kisses after the mask comes off!

“Oh! I’m so happy you want to do this! If we can do a whole session instead of just the mask, I will make you feel almost as great as I look!”

Beel-

Hungry boi. Wants to invite MC out for a snack, but no answer to his knocking? Are they alright? He saw them go into their room earlier.

He walks in to see MC on the bed, headphones on, and a mud mask? That’s what Asmo calls them, right? It smells waaaay too good to be mud. Walks over and eyes MC with confused interest.

Had no idea they liked putting food on their face. Food. Sits down on the bed and grabs one of the cucumbers. Tastes just like the sweetness of MC and food. Loves it.

MC smiles and hands him the other before taking off their headphones. Happy boi asks what they’re doing. They answer with a simple answer of self-care. The long day at RAD made them feel tired.

Asks if the mask is edible, to which MC replies and laughing negative. Oh, that makes no sense. It smells good. They offer to do a mask for him but doubt he’d be able to not eat it.

He laughs and nods before asking if they were almost done. He now has a craving for ice cream and maybe a half-dozen of burgers. MC sits up and kisses his cheek before nodding.

He is glowing with happiness and kisses their masked cheek. Unfortunately, he couldn’t help it and licks their face. Definitely doesn’t taste as great as it smells. MC laughs and pats his shoulder, saying they’ll be out in a few minutes so they can get a snack.

“You always taste good, but that mud doesn’t. You still look cute.”

Belphie-

Not a knocker. Doesn’t care to knock. MC is his human, and love knows no bounds. That includes doors.

Walks in to see MC on the bed with headphones and a mask. Cute. Adorable. Cuddly. Now his whole plan of going to the attic is out the window.

Slumps on the bed and buries his face in MC’s chest. Looks up to see they peel a cucumber off to see it’s him and smiles. Thump. Thump. His heart is growing by the second.

MC sighs and starts running their fingers through his hair after placing the cucumber back on their eye. Happy, sleepy boi. Cuddles closer and nuzzles with the equivalent of a sadistic sleepy cat.

MC has to beg him to let them go so they can remove it. He pouts and waits for them to return, only to entrap them in his arms and claim they smell too good to let go, and they feel so peaceful. Time for a nap.

“I love that you smell so wonderful and refreshing. Next time tell me when you’re going to do this so I can enjoy the whole thing.”

[ohmyasmodeus]

𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘯 𝘣𝘳𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘷𝘦𝘥 𝘢𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 ♡

i wrote my soft asmo hcs as requested, and got addicted to writing about the boys being soft ! all the brothers just need love ♡ please enjoy, i had so much fun with this !

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

♡ 𝘭𝘶𝘤𝘪𝘧𝘦𝘳

✧  He’s not just touch starved, he’s touch starved. The avatar of pride doesn’t care for being vulnerable around others and doesn’t tend to notice just how affected he is by it until you show up. Even then, he initially rejects it, pulling away from any touches you offer because he wants to prove to himself that he’s better than that.

✧  But he’s not.

✧  Lucifer eventually begrudgingly accepts the touches, and is especially weak when you casually rest your hand on his arm in the middle of conversation. Normally, he would shrug off anyone else’s hands, but he lets you touch him any way you like when you’re alone together. He’s addicted to the warmth you give off when you two sit together to study, and might even lean into you unconsciously. Sit in his lap, kiss his head, any affection drives him crazy inside; just don’t mention it lest his pride takes over and ruins the moment.

✧  Lucifer doesn’t seek out your touch, if only to give off the guise of not needing it. Even in the most intimate moments, he waits for you to come to him, but it’s obvious to you how much he needs it. You savour the gentle smiles and the sweet affection he offers when you rub the tension out of his shoulders. He needs you to help him relax.

♡ 𝘮𝘢𝘮𝘮𝘰𝘯

✧  Mammon shamelessly craves your touch, but gets crazy flustered receiving it in any way. It’s obvious from the start that he likes the affection and knowing that you like it when he’s near. He always has to be touching you in some way— he has an arm tossed lazily around your shoulder, his knee bumping yours at the breakfast table, or his arm resting against yours on the desk during lessons.

✧  His favourites are when you cling to him. He likes being wrapped in your arms, or when you hug him from behind. Pull him into bed for a cuddle and he’ll never let you go, forcing you to stay in his arms. Comment on the way he blushes whenever you’re near and he’ll be burying his face in your hair while telling you to shut up.

✧  He doesn’t ever hesitate to ask you to touch him. His greed extends to you, and he’ll be pulling you close with a hand cradling the side of your face, making you promise that he’s the only one you’ll ever touch like this.

♡ 𝘭𝘦𝘷𝘪𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯

✧  This man has never been touched in his life. Leviathan is pretty convinced that the affection he wishes for is never going to happen, so when you get up close and personal, he rejects it out of fear at first. A human touching him? Gross.

✧  Don’t take his word for it. Just lean into him and put your hands on his chest and make him feel like a man, make him feel like he can protect you and he’ll be nervously putting his own arms around you while blushing furiously. Levi loves it when you run your hands through his hair and down his sides. Hold his hand while in front of his brothers and he’ll spontaneously combust. He doesn’t understand why you’re treating him this way, but he has no room to complain.

✧  When he wants affection, he’ll do things like try to hold your hand, but immediately backpedal and stutter out excuses when you catch him red handed. He can’t ever bring himself to admit that he wants you, but you give him a little confidence booster every time you grab his hand properly and call him your sweet boy.

♡ 𝘴𝘢𝘵𝘢𝘯

✧  Satan just isn’t the kind of demon to be touch starved. He seems pretty satisfied with what he has and has never really thought of craving affection, but when you come along… by god, he’s smitten. You touch his hair for the first time and he’s ready to purr like a kitten, even if he’s distastefully commenting on your audacity. He’s embarrassed by it. To him, it’s like tasting something you’ve never had before and realising that it’s the one thing you’ve been missing your entire life.

✧  He loves it when you do little things like fix his bow tie and neaten his hair. You see his cheeks flush pink when you rest your head on his chest. Rub his back or kiss his collarbones and he’s all yours. Satan learns to give the affection back as well, tracing patterns into your skin and just relishing in being able to be vulnerable with someone he cares so much for.

✧  In time, despite his lack of experience with tenderness, Satan is excellent at communicating his needs. It’s clear when he waits with open arms to cuddle with you, or extends a hand so he can hold yours. He asks clearly, and always makes sure you’re comfortable with what he wants.

♡ 𝘢𝘴𝘮𝘰𝘥𝘦𝘶𝘴

✧  Touch starved would be the wrong term. Asmodeus is no stranger to touch and receives all the touching he needs. If anything, he’s starved for genuine affection and tenderness. You attract him with the depth of your personality and how genuine you always seem, the way your touches are always so warm. Asmo takes all you offer.

✧  Much like Mammon, he’s somehow touching you at any given moment. He’s a fan of the more romantic gestures like walking together with his hand in your back pocket, and likes it when you have your hands on his waist or thighs. He loves it when you rest a hand on his thigh as you use the other to focus on doing schoolwork.

✧  Asking is all too easy; all Asmo has to do is tackle you into a hug or surprise you by pulling you close with an arm around your waist, sighing about how he’s wilting from the lack of attention you’re giving him. What a horrible fate, being ignored by your own lover… But all you have to do is kiss his cheek, and he smiles like he’s fallen in love with you all over again.

♡ 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘻𝘦𝘣𝘶𝘣

✧  Beel is a big teddy bear and thrives on affection from his brothers, so naturally, he’s the same with you when you come into the picture. He takes an instant liking towards you, your disposition absolutely magnetic to him. The physical affection is gradual, with Beel slowly settling into a routine of good morning hugs and looping arms with you.

✧  He loves hugs the best! Big bear hugs where you two squeeze each other half to death, but he also likes it when you stroke his jaw and cheeks with the back of your hand. It gives him the opportunity to kiss your fingers and smile.

✧  When Beel needs affection from you, he isn’t afraid to just grab you or pull you to his side. He’s a gentleman though, and tends to ask bluntly if you want him to hold your hand or pull you into his lap like he always does.

♡ 𝘣𝘦𝘭𝘱𝘩𝘦𝘨𝘰𝘳

✧  After his isolation in the attic, Belphegor is as touch starved as Lucifer is, if not more. He isn’t sure if you would ever let him touch you again after the way he treated you— but that won’t stop him from trying to squeeze into couches with and get close to you. He craves your comfort so badly.

✧  Belphie is always weak for the kind of cuddling where the both of you just seem to envelope each other, legs tangled and arms wrapped around each other tight. Massage his scalp gently or stroke the back of his neck with your fingers and he’ll be shivering and melting in your arms. He often comments on how nice you smell.

✧  Asking for affection isn’t something he does verbally or straightforwardly. Instead, he gives you the most tender, yearning gaze, taking a lock of your hair to kiss as his gaze begs you for affection. When you two sit together, he’s inching his hand towards yours to rest his pinkie finger over yours. As with all things, Belphie’s love for you is endearingly quiet.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

[anenbylittlepotato]

What are the reactions of the demon brothers to MC's pet bunny who gives bunny kisses to the brothers?

Aww, this is so cute! 🥺

The Demon Bros with MC's Pet Bunny

Lucifer

When he first sees MC's bunny he just groans. He has to take care of a human and a bunny now?! Why doesn't Diavolo tell him these things?!

He just sighs and takes a moment to make peace with the fact that he'll just have to buy bunny food for the next year... Right...?

NOPE. Turns out taking care of a bunny is much more work than it seems, as MC explains to him. Great...

So uh... Yeah, safe to say that he has nothing but burning hatred for this bunny at first. Stop causing him so much more work dammit.

But honestly, who could conceivably stay mad at a bunny for long? They're so round and soft and fluffy and adorable. Even Lucifer, the almighty himself, isn't immune to a bunny's charms.

Eventually, the tiny little thing grows on him. He never lets any of his brothers see, but he'll occasionally slip the bunny a little treat or two, and sometimes he'll set the bunny on his desk while he works so he can reach over and pet her occasionally. And one time when he was sitting on the couch while his brothers were away and he was so stressed out to the point that he was almost tempted to bash his head against a wall, the little thing came up to him and just??? Puts her tiny little paws on his foot??? And looked up at him with those big round eyes, nose twitching and ears perked??? Almost like she was concerned for him??? Oh, he's in love. Now every time he's stressed out like that, he seeks out your bunny for comfort.

But then??? One day??? The bunny??? Gives him little bunny kisses??? Oh, he melts. This man is fucking putty. He's weak.

Please, this man loves your bunny. But of course, he never shows it around his brothers. And he rarely shows it around you. It's just a him and the bunny thing. No one else needs to know.

Mammon

The moment this man sees your bunny for the first time he's in love. Love at first sight is real, my dudes.

But she's just so??? Small??? And round??? And fluffy??? And cute??? How could you NOT love such a thing, honestly?

He still complains when he has to take care of you, but he's still really excited about your bunny.

This man,,, spoils the hell out of your bunny. He's constantly smothering her with love, and he constantly gives her little treats and gives her carrots and lettuce and any little snacks that she likes. And he lets her up on the couch and he holds her in his lap. He's adopted your bunny. That's his bunny now.

And when the bunny gives him little bunny kisses? He's dead. His heart spontaneously combusts right then and there. He didn't think he could love this bunny any more than he did, but then it happened. Please, bunny, you're going to be the death of him.

He definitely doesn't let his brothers see how much he loves this bunny though. He knows they would endlessly hound on him for it.

Leviathan

Honestly? He's definitely not very fond of your bunny when he first sees her. Sorry, but he's much more privy to reptilian and aquatic animals. Land mammals aren't really his thing.

They're just so... Weird to him, honestly. Those big weird eyes, the fact that they're completely covered in fuzz as if they're a moldy piece of food, their weird nails and their weird little noses. They freak him out.

So yeah, definitely not a fan of the bunny. He avoids her at all costs. Every time the bunny comes near him or touches him in any way, he's immediately in his demon form and leaps to the other side of the room, moving faster than anyone's ever seen him move in his life. Get that thing away from him-

His brothers find this so damn amusing. Especially Mammon. Mammon constantly pulls pranks on Levi that involve the bunny (though, of course, bunny-safe pranks, he doesn't want it getting hurt-) and teases him relentlessly about it.

One day you go over to Levi and gently try to convince Levi to at least try to bond with your bunny. It takes a lot of convincing and bribing, but he finally agrees. So you take him over to the bunny and sit down in front of her with him. Levi is shaking like a fucking leaf as you grab his arm and hold it out to the bunny. He jumps and lets out a small yelp as the bunny steps forward to sniff his hand. And he's whimpering and shaking when the bunny moves even closer to him and???? Climbs into his lap??? He's he is frozen with fear at this point. He doesn't know what to do, MC, help him. When you tell him the bunny likes him, he just really shook. It likes him??? A yucky, gross otaku like him???

And then, when it gives him bunny kisses???? MC has to explain what it's doing but when he understands he's just??? In shock.

There's no way he could hate the bunny after that. He finds solidarity with the bunny after that.

Satan

Satan is a cat person, through and through. However, this absolutely does not mean he'll stick up his nose to other furry, four-legged friends. Quite the contrary, he likes them too. Make no mistake, cats are and always will be his go-to, but that he still likes other animals too. He's flexible with his love.

So, safe to say, when he sees your bunny, he gets quite excited. Are you gonna help him annoy Lucifer, little girl? Are you?

He's also really excited to use all of his reading knowledge to help take care of the bunny. He knows exactly what the bunny needs and helps you pick out the things that would be best for her.

Sometimes, when he's reading, your bunny will walk up to him and, without looking up from his book, he'll reach over and gently stroke her ears. Though he has to keep the bunny out of his room because she loves to nibble the books.

He doesn't really care about letting his brothers know he likes the bunny. He's not embarrassed by his love of animals.

Asmodeus

He adores your bunny. She's just so cute! Though don't put her on him, it'll get hair on his new outfit!

This man takes so many Devilgram pics of and with this bunny. His fans love her! And he even gets cute little outfits for her! And he grooms her soft fur and gives her cute little bows! One day he tried to give her a bath, not knowing the dangers. Luckily, MC and Satan managed to stop him before it was too late. Please don't bathe your bunnies in water unless your vet tells you to, it's very bad for them

Seriously tho, this man gives your bunny some little bunny spa days. He pampers your bunny. Asmo, please, she doesn't need her nails painted, she's a bunny. And did... Did you seriously put cucumbers on her eyes??? She's gonna eat them-

But when she gives him bunny kisses? Oh, she's so cute, oh my goodness! He absolutely has to get as many pictures of this moment as he can! It's just too precious not to post all over Devilgram! His fans are going to adore this!! And he was right, too, as it ends up being one of his most popular posts.

And he's never been shy about showing his affections toward you around others why would he be shy about showing affection to your bunny?

Beelzebub

When he first saw her, he may or may not have thought about eating her-

But don't worry, he managed to resist.

Honestly, he doesn't really mind the bunny too much aside from the occasional thought about eating her. He never really pays much attention to her at first except when he's really hungry.

But as he gets closer to you and starts spending more time with her in turn, and he comes to like her. She's really cute. Just like you!

Sometimes she'll come up to him while he's eating and he'll drop her the occasional leaf or carrot piece. And she really likes to crawl into his lap and just peek out at everyone. And he really likes to touch her soft fur. Sometimes the bunny follows him around. I think she feels safest with him out of all of the brothers. Which... Fair enough, honestly.

And when she gave him bunny kisses? Oh, the little large pure boi was so happy and excited. MC, look, she likes him!! Are you looking, MC?

He's never been the most secretive when it comes to his feelings, so he doesn't really mind showing affection to the bunny around his brothers.

Belphegor

Haha, he's in the attic what are you talking about-

Nah, nah, jk, he still sees your bunny after he's out of the attic.

And honestly, he's chill with her. He literally doesn't care that much.

Though he does like how soft her fur is... Do you wanna be one of his nap buddies, little bunny?

Apparently, the answer is yes because whenever Belphie is taking a nap, she hops over and makes herself comfortable beside him. Hey, he's not complaining one bit. She's soft and that's all that matters. Actually, whenever the bunny wants to sleep, she wanders over to Belphie and settles down beside him. She seems to see him as just as much of a good nap buddy as he does to her.

And when she gives him little bunny kisses? Honestly, he's more surprised than anything. He does think it's cute, sure, but he kinda just blinks at her a few times in surprise. Then he chuckles a little and pets her head.

And this man couldn't possibly care less about showing affection towards the bunny around his brothers. He gives zero fucks.

==

That took way longer to write than it should have. It probably would have been done faster if I had the ability to not procrastinate 😔

[ashdownunderscorebeloved]

I’ve never done something like this before but I wanted to just to try my hand at it! So, my friends and I play this game where if someone says or does something really stupid or really funny, you can “copy” what they say and anytime someone tells you to “paste”, you have to do or say the thing no matter what you’re doing! We’ve gotten some pretty good things so I wanted to make little headcanon thingies for the brothers! I’m sorry this is a real big blurb thing but oh whale. Side notes; I have indeed been copied on all of these, and I’m doing this on mobile so if formatting is weird I’m sorry!

The Brothers playing “Copy, Paste”

T/W: not sure? Mild NSFW I think, mild swearing, some people don’t like it but MCYT is mentioned

Lucifer

You and Lucifer were sitting in his study, you were scrolling through Devilgram and he was doing paperwork as usual

You had just seen a wonderful meme and just had to read it to him, you had completely forgotten you had explained the rules of Copy, Paste just a few days before

“Hey Lucifer!”

“You can’t spell subtext without buttsex.”

Oh was that a mistake...

A smirk spread across his face, he set down his pen and stared at you for a moment before that dreaded word came from him. “Copy.”

Of course he would paste you one delightful evening when you were both having tea with Diavolo and Barbatos.

Tea totally came out of Diavolo’s nose when you said it

Mammon

Mammon barged into your room one day as always and the first words out of his mouth were “MC, I’m bored! Ya got any plans?”

You weren’t really doing anything so you decided to hang out with your first man

You were on your way to Majolish when he said something incredible

It would’ve been a somewhat normal sentence if he hadn’t decided to add those three words.

His D.D.D. had been going off the whole time in his back pocket and he wasn’t happy with it.

“Damn it! Knock it off, will ya? Just all buzz buzz buzz buzz. In my butt.”

The sound that left you was one of a dying cat. “Copy. Copy copy copy!”

“NO!”

You pasted him at dinner that same day, the reactions were amazing.

Leviathan

You had offhandedly mentioned to Levi that right now, Minecraft YouTubers were crazy popular in the human world so naturally he became Dream’s biggest fan

What you weren’t expecting was for him to learn. Every. Single. TommyInnit. Quote.

One day he had just watched a SleepyBoisInc compilation and he thought it was just so funny.

You had already made plans with him for that day to play Minecraft together because boy is he obsessed

It was around thirty minutes into the session and he hadn’t really said much, until he turned and looked you dead in the eye.

“Just killed a woman, feelin’ good.”

“Yup, that’s gonna be a copy from me.”

“Thanks” *deep breath* “Home home.”

You two paste each other quite often and every time he gets so flustered it’s absolutely adorable.

Satan

You’re not sure how this conversation even came about.

It started off talking about weird things humans can do and their evolution, how in the world did these words end up coming out of your mouth?

You probably ended up talking about bodily functions that humans and demons share, which was definitely as gross as it sounds.

“Ah, ass air. Gamer girls could probably sell it. Delicious bottled ass air.”

“MC...copy?”

“Oh no.”

He pastes you any chance he can get, especially if it could embarrass either you or Lucifer. You’re all out with Diavolo? Paste. You’re meeting a very important high ranking demon? Paste.

Asmodeus

Asmo had invited you to his room for a self care sleepover and as usual he went all out for you

I’m talking a complete 372629293 step skincare routine, a hot bath, massage, nails, everything

He was getting ready to put some lotion on your arms and hands but when he pressed the pump down it just shot out

You both were taken aback, and whoever possessed you in that moment must’ve thought it was real funny because you looked Asmodeus dead in the eye and said, “What a cumshot!”

“One, copy. Two, if you thought that was a good cumshot then you’re missing out.”

Asmo first pasted you in front of Mammon, just to see his reaction. Poor thing.

Beelzebub

It was time for a midnight snack with Beel, aka you talking to him while he inhaled the entire kitchen.

Beel wasn’t paying attention to the fridge, more focused on the very intense look on your face as you played a game on your DDD. You just looked so cute

His finger slid right into some custard, he pulled his finger out and turned to you.

He held his finger up to show you before cleaning licking it off. “MC. Do you like my finger?”

For some reason, that made you laugh so hard you nearly fell off the counter.

Somewhere in your laugh attack, you managed to wheeze out. “Copy, goodness gracious. Copy!”

You really only paste him when you’re alone, but just one time you pasted him in front of Lucifer who looked utterly confused. I mean...context?

Belphegor

You and Belphie were cuddling in the attic room, him half asleep and you scrolling through Devilgram.

You had just read a very sad fanfiction based on The Lord of Shadows and Henry, one that actually drove you to tears.

Belphie, being Belphie, decided he wanted attention so what’s the first thing the gremlin tries to do? Bite your hair.

“Belphie! Don’t bite my hair, I’m too sad!” You cried out, and he stopped.

He stared at you for a few moments before he spoke. “Copy.”

You were still upset when he pasted you, Beel had come up with snacks and was very confused as to why you were upset.

Maybe you should cuddle him instead of the hair biter. Love you Belphie but come on!