#i love the slower huge bosses from the earlier ones

[asleepinawell]

something i keep thinking about as i replay dark souls 1 in ng+ is how at any given point in a soulsborne game I'm going "wow i hate this area, i can't believe they put in such and such an enemy, ridiculous, What Do You Mean I Have To Climb Out Of Blightown" and I'm just low key annoyed all the time, BUT the overall lasting impression i come away with is generally "that place was super cool! i can't wait to go back someday". i really love how that is the typical from soft experience for me

dark souls 1 probably has this the most which is why it remains the best of the games for me

(castle sol is a glaring exception to this. seriously fuck that place)

[greg-montgomery]

Angry sex with the Unit Chief !! Go!!

(@ravensmadreads)

i loved this ideaaa <333

nsfw - minors dni

cw: jealousy, unprotected sex and umm a little bit of degradation lol, that's it i think <3

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

It should have worked.

JJ and Emily said it would, Penelope said it would, even Derek said it would. Aaron would see you flirting with a stranger and he’d finally snap. He’d finally let his interest in you show through jealousy. But he didn’t.

You had been practically grinding on that guy that you didn’t even like to begin with; dancing with him at the bar the team had chosen for the night.

But Aaron didn’t even flinch. He didn’t wrap his arm around you protectively like you had imagined, pulling you away from that man. He didn’t ask anyone if they knew who that stranger you were letting touch you was. He didn’t even stare at you as you danced. He just focused on the drink he had in hand and his conversation with Rossi.

You bit your bottom lip, trying to hold back the tears as you returned to your table, feeling defeated. It was your own fault for letting your friends convince you that Aaron was interested. As it turned out, that wasn’t the case. You could have given that man a fucking blowjob in the middle of the dancefloor and Aaron wouldn’t bat an eye.

“I’m gonna leave early, guys,” you announced. “Suddenly, my head hurts.”

“Hmm…all by yourself?” David teased you, obviously not knowing about your plan to make Aaron jealous, and assuming everything was real.

“Yeah…” you said. “Good night, everyone. I hope you have fun.”

“Wait.” Aaron’s hand wrapped around your wrist as you turned to leave. “It’s late. I’ll drive you home.”

“No need,” you said, irritated. “I’ll call a taxi.”

“No,” he insisted. “I’ll drive you.”

“Fine,” you gave up, releasing your arm from his tight grip.

--

“Walk close to me, it’s dark,” he said, as you made your way to his car.

You were in heels so it was hard to catch up with him. Plus his steps were huge because of those long legs of his that you were definitely not staring at.

“Then walk slower!” you argued. “And don’t worry, no one is gonna snatch me away. Not that you’d care anyway…” you mumbled the last sentence.

“What was that?” He stopped walking, turning his head to look at you.

“Nothing,” you answered, slowing down so you wouldn’t bump into him.

“I wouldn’t care?” he said, ignoring your response.

“Just drop it, Hotch,” you said, and moved passed him, reaching his car first.

You crossed your arms against your chest, waiting for him to unlock it, but Aaron was still standing at that same spot, frozen.

“I’m getting cold here,” you complained. “Are you gonna have me waiting outside of your car all night?”

His jaw clenched as his eyes traveled from your eyes to your shoes and then back to your eyes again.

“You should start working on that attitude of yours, you know,” he said when he was next to you, and opening the door of his car for you to get inside. “That’s not a way to speak to your boss.”

You didn’t say anything; only looked at him for a moment before getting in and settling into your seat.

When Aaron was inside the car too, you expected him to put the key in the ignition and start the car but instead he stared at his lap, looking as if he was contemplating on saying something.

“Why did you say that earlier?”

“Say what?”

“That I wouldn’t care if you got taken. Of course I’d care,” he said, raising his voice slightly.

“Yeah, sure. Your actions all night definitely showed me that,” you answered.

“What the hell does that mean now?” he asked, his knuckles turning white from holding the steering wheel too tightly.

“A stranger was all over me tonight and you didn’t seem to care.”

“You looked like you were enjoying it,” he said, his stare cold and angry. “What did you want me to do?”

“Anything!”

“Do you realize what you’re telling me right now? You wanted me to go stop one of my agents - outside of working hours - from dancing with a man they seemingly liked?” His tone made him sound exasperated.

“This isn’t about work! God,” you said through gritted teeth. “You don’t get it.”

“Y/N-”

“Just drive the car and take me home,” you cut him off.

“No,” he replied with a stern voice. He took a few breaths, trying to calm himself down.

“Did you want me to punch him? Grab him by the collar of his shirt and ask him to get his fucking hands off your body? Or touch you in front of him and show him how you really like it?”

“Aaron…” you said, softly, surprised by his words.

“If you wanted me to fuck you so badly, all you had to do was ask.” He used his hands to grab your chin and forced you to look at him. “You didn’t need to use a pathetic man to make me jealous.”

“You didn’t seem jealous.”

“Of course I was jealous,” he admitted. “I wanted to cut his arms off.”

“Then why didn’t you show it?” you pouted and his grip on your jaw softened.

“Because I thought you were actually into that fucker.”

“I wasn’t,” you said, dropping your gaze.

“I know that now,” he smirked, making you flustered.

His large hand was still on your face and he used it to pull you close, your noses now touching.

“You looked gorgeous tonight,” he murmured against your lips, not kissing you yet. “I can’t blame him for drooling over you.”

You were the one that finally moved your lips against his. Your kiss was desperate, being something you had both been waiting for, for a long time.

His fingers were grabbing your hair, pushing you against him. Then, with a fist full of your hair he pulled you away again so he could look into your eyes, causing you to whine. “You’re such a needy thing. I wish I knew you wanted me earlier.”

“I’m still mad at you, you know,” you said, with fake annoyance.

“That’s alright, baby. Let me fuck that attitude out of you and you’ll be okay.”

You furrowed your eyebrows, but felt his hand grabbing your arm.

“Come to my lap,” he ordered.

You stared at him before checking at his crotch, seeing a bulge in his pants. It made you smirk and you followed his order, making your way to his lap, straddling him.

He used his fingers to brush a few strands of hair away from your face. His touch was gentle.

“Hey,” he whispered. “If you don’t want this I’ll stop right now.”

“I want this,” you whispered back, cupping his cheeks. “What do you think I went through all this trouble for?”

He laughed, the dimples on his face making him even more attractive. A hand on your neck pulled you in for another kiss.

As the kiss went on, you rocked your hips against him, your clit brushing against the fabric of his pants in all the right ways.

“Ah…”

“That’s it, grind yourself against me like you did with that guy,” he said, darkly. “He would never make you feel as good as I can, baby. He doesn’t know you like I do.”

“It wasn’t like that,” you defended yourself, your words coming out as little moans.

“I know,” he said. Your dress had been lifted up to your ass as you straddled him, so his hands were free to touch your bare thighs. He squeezed them possessively as he spoke to you. “Only I can touch you from now on, isn’t that right?”

“Mhm…” you moaned and nodded, moving back and forth against him, knowing that you were about to cum in a minute or two.

“You’re allowed to be a little slut, baby. But only for me,” he said, his hands gripping on your ass, forcing you to move against him even harder. His moans from the pressure against his cock turned you on to the point where you knew you weren’t going to last for much longer.

“I’m cumming,” you whined and buried your face in the crook of his neck, humping his body even faster.

“I’m gonna cum soon too, baby. I need to be inside you,” he said and you rushed to unbuckle his belt and pull the fly of his pants down.

“Fuck, I wanna feel you so bad,” you said as you let him pull your panties to the side so he could put his cock in you.

“They’re soaked, angel.”

“Of course they are,” you replied, sinking yourself down, until your hips met.

Aaron’s hands cupped your tits, after he pulled your dress down roughly, not caring if he was ruining the expensive satin fabric. You didn’t care either.

“Move, sweetheart. Fuck yourself on my dick, show me how you like it.”

You placed one of your palms against his chest and the other behind his neck, as you started moving; letting yourself go and enjoying every inch of him inside you, every wave of pleasure that went through your body.

“God,” you moaned, letting yourself fall back as you closed your eyes. “I knew it’d be good with you. You’re huge.” He was; you were feeling him in spots inside you, you didn’t think had ever been touched before.

“Keep going, my sweet girl. I love seeing you desperate,” he said, running his hands all over your body.

Your lips were soon on his neck, as you screamed for his name, your orgasm taking over your body and mind.

Aaron’s cum filled you up a few moments later, his heavy breaths against your ear making you excited even though you had just finished.

You rested your cheek on his shoulder, trying to catch your breath. “It did work after all.”

[izaneko]

The end of August. ~

izana kurokawa x birthday reader.

a/n: this is my second piece dedicated to izana for his bday month and the entry to the sano collab 2023 hosted by the lovely @fueledbysano - no warnings just fluff + more fluff ! -

~

August 30 -

izana knew the day. his birthday. to that mind- he couldn't honestly care less. there wasn't any single year in the past where he would think twice about it without desire to acknowledge it but for some strange reason he stubbornly went and decided to listen to his subordinate when kakucho told him that maybe he should stop by on his way back home to the apartment at the newly built gigantic pet shop he had over heard other people talking earlier about that just opened up in the main heart of the city. he wanted to dismiss the younger with no want whatsoever other than returning to his abode to be by himself for the remainder of the dreaded day until he heard him say between under his own not so subtlety made murmurs and moans mumbling about not giving a shit that he was going on telling him all about the fresh aquatic tank that was apart of the feature. ' fine- i will pass by outside. ' kakucho fonldly smiled at his king - ' sure. izana - ' it didn't take a genius to make it known well that his boss was elated at the idea of it.

~

making his way across town izana was rushing through the zoo of people crowded in the busy streets of yokohama when he saw that a large sum of them were crowded in one area. figuring that this had to be the place kakucho had been speaking about when he walked a little bit slower not very much interested in the idea in the first place but still curious as to what could be inside those large glass windows- way too glaringly sunny outside hitting the reflections to really get a good view of the inside. from the exterior izana could tell that they ones who run the place must have a lot of money and experience with this because it was well-made and stunning from the quality of the the brick work and architecture surrounding the arched doorway. his mind went in full interest of what could be possibly hiding beyond the entrance.

~

trailing on inside he noticed there were walls of animals and products designed to attract even the most unwilling of eyes to be drawn in. he didn't want to waste much time in this place that was packed almost as tightly as a concert venue- it was all of the ridiculous noise that was too much for him in addition to the amount of screaming children and small barking from the playful pups that had him turning away- ready to storm out of the place without a second thought until his eyes met a sign with a closed doorway that read "aquarium- please keep down. do not scare the fish." perfect. izana had darted though the door as quick as possible to free his ears from the deafening annoyance to find just a few others occupying the dark area shining from the rich shades and hues of purple and blues from the brightly lit blacklights of the huge majestic tank filled with an array of vastly different domesticated sea life- his every dream come true. he stared half gaped- drawn in widely openly amazed at the fine specimens he was witnessing in front of him. there were so many varieties and different kinds to view that he almost let himself slip a subtle pleased grin grace his features- almost.

~

izanas eyes scanned the tank- tracing the small lines and rows of the little schools swimming with eacother and landscape of all different sizes and colors of camouflage for the fish to play and hide from watching eyes. figuring he wouldn't go and let his efforts coming into this place be in vain and feelings of conflict whether he should possibly even bring one of the variety home with him stirring in his chest- he stared to explore more of what the vast stretching room length tank had to offer. while making his way through the different options slowly trying his best to not look too interested but in his mind the thrill was too much and starting to get to him. there were so many to choose from and he didn't know where to begin to try and choose one.

~

as he stared he saw across the room a small area where the fish had been separated from each other. they were known as beta fish- the only kind of fish that could not be in contact with others due to its tendency to attack them on sight not stopping even going in for blood. how amusing- he thought. it sounded a bit to familiar to his own ears- probably the reason why he admired them the most. before he could reach the area with the small clearing between the onlooking patrons his eyes caught a flash of his favorite color amidst the crowd- a deep shade of fire red. izana blinked twice before noticing the beautiful gown hugging your skin and curves practically sparkling under the lights reflecting from off of the fish tank- glowing in front of his eyes. he couldn't help but aimlessly make his way next to you to get a better look at the gorgeous sight that was this tantalizing spectacle to behold in this place.

~

izana came to see as he approached your side that he noticed you had no particular interest in anything else in that room other than the one little fish you just kept on staring at. ' is that one your favorite? ' he bubbled at you- with a smirk written over lips that was unbeknownst to him. 'oh sorry. did you want that one? cause i - ' you responded almost half aware that there was even a person beside you. turning your breathe got stuck in your throat as you glanced at him noticing his white platinum short undercut hairstyle almost illuminated by the glow of the aquarium in contrast to his his tanned warm complexion paired with a set of red dangling traditional style earrings and his large attractive lilac eyes underneath his radiant strands. you were completely taken back- he was one of the finest men you had ever seen before. his light eyes watching you as he waited eagerly for you to finish your thought from earlier as you were speechless and struggled to compose your thoughts. responding now a bit shyer in your tone you met his stare with a cheerful delighted expression matching with his own. ' well it's just- that one right there is sad- at least that's what it seems to me .. ' izana was left flustered at your words- drawn back right at the moment you had said them out loud.

~

' well, why would you say that ? ' izana paused for a moment staring into your concerned eyes. ' - how could you even tell what that little guys thinking? ' he perked his head to the side- full on curiosity now rolling through his mind. you glanced back at the tank and spoke without looking back too afraid of him seeing the nervousness written all over you from how close he was to your body. you felt the air around you become filled with his sweet aroma from an almost lavender trace to his cologne he was sporting- a pleasant scent that was teasing the the last of your desires. he was a put together well dressed very handsome gentleman that was not like anyone you'd seen throughout the time spent you'd been in this city. you responded to his questioning of your thought process after taking in a second to form the right words 'there is no way of knowing- honestly.. i mean he's just kinda keeping to that little corner not even bothering to notice the people all around him- he must be real lonely and hurt inside to not even desire a home with one of these - ' cutting you off he spoke strictly. ' maybe he likes it better that way.. ' izana wasn't speaking only about the fish now. feeling a bit annoyed by your words it left him with an even more irritating stinging feeling in his chest. you felt sorry for the little fish- he saw it in your eyes that were practically welling with sadness and threatening to spill actual tears in the process of speaking about how you felt for it so dearly. ' why don't you bring him home with you then if you think it's that lonely?'

~

' well i would but i can't actually- i don't have the proper place right now. im kind of in between moving and would not be able to give him the right attention going between the two- sadly. ' concern in his lilac eyes but not wanting to pry he left it alone even if he was now interested in knowing your situation beyond these walls. in that moment izana couldnt take his eyes off of your frame - almost studying your every move making you turn away back to gazing at the small red fish swimming around slowly in the corner of it's tank. you continued ' but i really wish i could- he deserves to be with a caring person who will give it the attention and loves it probably desires desperately. ' izana flinched- your words affecting him in a way you would never know. ' fine- i'll take him then. ' your eyes began to shimmer with hope. with a delicate smile you beamed at him ' you will!? oh that is fanatastic! - ' his stoic face melted unnoticed to himself to a softened smirk feeling as the brick wall around his heart had been crumbled to dust. why were you so damn pleased about that little fish getting a place to go to? he couldn't understand your motivation but he was truly humbled by your genuine content and relief on your face. for a moment he thought maybe you two were similar- the reasons flooding his brain with possibilities without a clear answer. izana wanted to ask you just as to why it was so important to you but before he could speak- your arms wrapped around his waist cause of how your pure excitement took over before you could even realize what you were doing. izana's lavender orbs expanded beyond the largest possible way and he became totally enraptured by your sudden embrace of him.

~

the scent of your perfume hitting his brain and the soft touch of your gentle hands that had accidentally slipped sliding under past his dress shirt had him practicing his breathing patterns in short breaths inside of his small pants from how close your body was to his own tempting him that was causing him to erupt in flames. you realized quickly that you crossed a line with someone you had barely known and quickly pulled apart from him in your flustered panic. ' i'm sorry about that. really- i just.. ' izana gathered himself in dread of his facial expression in that moment. 'it's fine.' he mused back at you. ' don't worry about it. ' normally if someone had the nerve to place a hand on him he would have met them with his swift heel kick to the jaw. yet right now- he couldn't get enough of it. wanting with the most endless passion to grab you back and feel your warmth against him in that tight arm lock that had left him heavily reeling- from how much he needed to feel you again. there was no way he could admit that to himself let alone to you. his pride wouldn't allow for as much. he put his palm on your shoulder the closest thing that izana could bring himself to try and do to relieve this tension around the two of you.

~

he spoke with care for someone for once in his voice and in a wispy light tone he said to you - ' cmon. let's get to the checkout before i change my mind - ' not wanting to sound even a tinge of desperation in his voice to make that ever so beautiful smile on your face come back to light- which it did as soon as he said them. ' ok! let's go- ' you happily exclaimed with pure joy echoing in your tone clasping onto his firm large slightly sweaty hand from how truly nervous he was being around someone that was as attractive as you were to him. izana didn't ever want to let go- as you raced as fast as you could with him to the counter out front to purchase the prized red beta before he could say otherwise. as you made your way through the crowd your hands started to pull apart trying to get past the people swarming around and your heart twitched at the feeling of him grabbing on to your own tighter as to make sure you didn't let go of his. if he could have seen the small sweet smile that had spread on your face knowing he was the cause it he probably would have went unstable with his thoughts of what that meant but you hid it as rapidly as you reached the register feeling the warmth on your cheeks from how the feeling of him against you was affecting your mind.

~

that night- izana placed the little tank he had bought for the red fish arranged perfectly on his night stand next to his bed. he stared at it with intent as it looked with it's small black eyes right back into him. his grin widened thinking to himself how it must be glad to have someone to be with now no longer alone in that dark back corner of the aquarium. he felt for a second of a hint of jealousy in it's tiny reflection for himself- before his mind chased to the moment he first witnessed you in that stunning red garment with every one of his senses starting to tingle with each breath that left his lips practically sighing from the feelings burrowing their way through his heart. izana felt ashamed for letting you leave the pet store without as much as a way to contact you again. settling himself in- he grabbed his acoustic guitar and began strumming with strokes of pretty notes filling the air with the aura of his solemn mood. glancing over towards the tank he stopped momentum and began playing a bit slower when he noticed the little red companion glaring straight at him moving quickly from what he assumed to be the music. placing his guitar down on his mattress he sauntered on over to where the fish was now swimming much more now in tiny motions. ' huh, you must like that sound don't ya- little guy? ' izana spoke to the fish aware that it couldn't give him a response.

~

izana bent down closer to get a better view of it's nice tones of red and golden colors and he noticed that something was sticking out slightly from under the tank. the receipt was stuck to the bottom a little bit crumpled up so izana grabbed it out from underneath the fish's new home to toss it away in the trash when he saw the small finely written numbers scribbled on the back side with a tiny little heart next to it.

~

- ' y/n ' izana read it out loud and with his mind running endlessly- he was left there completely speechless and distraught. knowing he should have been the one himself to have asked you but taken back by your action of boldness and desire to contact him feeling restlessly anxious he practically ran over to where his cell phone was charging grabbing it without hesitatation. izana slowly entered the digits as to not mess up the code to hearing your gentle voice once more. catching his breath he paused before hitting the call button momentarily desperate to know exactly why you had chosen to give him your personal contact when he thought back to how much you wanted to find his new found companion a home- how lonely you thought he was there all alone in that pet shop. now nervously pressing the call button because of the fear that he was initially right about you two being similar- he panicked and almost hung up when he heard you speak clearly through the other end- ' hi! ..is this- by chance izana? ' the world felt shaky and he was on cloud nine from how delighted you sounded as he struggled to make his voice sound normal. 'how'd could you guess? ' it was the only thing that he could get out. izana could feel his vocal chords trembling in sequence of his words as if they had a mind of their own. ' i'm so glad!- ' you answered him in a high pitch elation of your enthusiasm for it actually being him that called you. ' where you waiting for me to call you all evening? ' izana said now with his heart giving a curious beat thrumming through his veins. he couldn't believe you- even having the guts sticking the receipt carefully back in his purchase without him noticing to begin with. ' yes- i have been mr. izana. - it took you long enough.. thought maybe you didn't want to see me again that maybe- ' ' .. kurokawa. ' he ended your sentence for you. ' my name is mr. kurokawa.' he retorted to you with dignity. continuing his thoughts he went on- ' and yes. i would very much like to see you again. - y/n. ' your sultry voice had him way beyond the point of caring of his weakness for you showing when he heard you squeak in your praise. ' oh thank goodness! - well .. are you by chance busy this evening?.. ' tonight. he thought back to what the day was as he peeked at the clock seeing it was only 9pm- still technically his birthday. izana mustered the courage to give you his response in honest. 'well- no. just home hanging out with my new friend. ' the simple act of him saying so made him hear in your voice the smile the was evident on your face even if he couldn't see it. hearing you on the phone had him in a state of glory for having the nerve to dial the number in the first place- happiness taking over him in every way imaginable. his face had burned up at the next thing that came out from your lips- ' mind if i come by- to visit you two? ' izana had felt himself go numb in shock without knowing how to answer. the response he gave was a bit mufled and barely audible but you had heard him no less. ' i - actually would like that a lot.. ' this time izana spent his birthday for the first year ever with someone other than himself. making him feel satisfied deeply and content. not only cause of that little fish now stuck with him for life but because this was the special day that he had been fortunate enough to meet you. it was now and would be his favorite day of the year to look forward to from that day on -

©izaneko - all rights reserved.

please do not copy / reupload or modify my writing.

[barnesbabee]

𝓹𝓵𝓪𝔂 𝓭𝓪𝓽𝓮 - 𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓮

|| ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ || ⇜ᴘʀᴇᴠɪᴏᴜꜱ - 9 - ɴᴇxᴛ⟿

⟿ ꜱᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ: No sensible person would turn down their boss if they looked good as good as Seonghwa. But maybe they would wish they had…

⟿ ᴄᴏɴᴄᴇᴘᴛ: CEO!Seonghwa x reader, bestfriend!Yunho x reader || Social Media!AU

A/N: Next chapter will be a spicy one, not in the way you might think

ᴛᴀɢʟɪꜱᴛ: (send me a DM or an ask to be added) @ateezappreciation @shinyddeonghwa @lilithpooped @cloudyyeonnie@yeosangmystar @wooyoung-a @sanisms @mingismoon @lovelyvitamin @anawwyd @annasbannas @im-just-trying-to-survive-man @uglychildd @oddlittlefandomist

The next couple of days at work were torture.

You could feel Seonghwa's burning stare when you weren't looking, and when you were, you could see him undressing you with his eyes. He looked at you like he was hungry and oh did you love the attention. Unfortunately, Friday, the day of the date, he had gone out for a meeting. At least your outfit would stun him later on...

He made sure to know you hadn't been forgotten, however. You liked how he didn't take you for granted. Seonghwa would send some provocative photos (to which you gladly replied) and some cheeky comments.

Seonghwa: Not seeing you all day is driving me crazy... I need to see you as soon as possible, why don't you come a little earlier? Say, after work?

You tried not to overreact too much, seeing that you were still at work, but you couldn't help a pathetic little squeal. You agreed immediately and confirmed you'd be at his place after texting San, saying that today you wouldn't need a ride.

"You look awfully happy today." Wooyoung commented as he leaned his hip against your desk.

You opened your mouth to give him an excuse (you didn't want to be bragging about your date with the hottest man to walk the heart), but Wooyoung was quicker.

"I know about you and Seonghwa, don't try to lie to me." He said with a devilish smile.

You were a little confused for a second, how the fuck did he know? You and Seonghwa were very discrete... But then it hit you.

"Would you like front row seats for Choi San's funeral?"

Wooyoung laughed at that.

"Well, it wasn't only him who snitched on your date. Seonghwa, despite looking the way he does, doesn't get a lot of ladies. Head always in the work... Also, he's a huge fucking dork in a suit and tie. He's not as mean and tough as he seems to be, he's really excited for tonight. It's adorable, really, so don't fuck it up missy." He jokingly warned, pointing a finger at you.

"Don't worry, I don't plan on it. How are you and San doing, by the way. Things seem to be moving fast."

Wooyoung blushed slightly and looked away, it was the first time you actually saw Wooyoung act shy.

"He's a great guy... I can't say any more or else you'll snitch what I said but... I like where it's going, I think we're a good match. Thank you, uh, thank you for telling him about me."

You wondered how the two most annoying people you had ever met (in a good way... sort of) could be so adorable.

"You're very welcome."

You smiled at him and, just as he was turning away, you whispered.

"Oh and he said you have a great ass."

Wooyoung looked at you with wide eyes and scurried away. To yell at San, you supposed.

You looked at the clock on the wall, and it was ticking slower and slower by the second, it seemed. You were counting down the seconds.

Once the golden time finally came, you were already out the door with your phone in your hand ready to call an uber.

You were waiting in the humongous garage of the company when a black van pulled up.

"Oh? Such a big car for one person only..." You thought.

However, as you were stepping forward to ask the driver if he was there for you, a male figure dressed fully in black grabbed you and threw you in the back of the van, closing the door shut and locking it.

In there, there was another man who tied your hands behind your back and muffled you.

To say you were scared was an understatement. Once you had time to properly understand what took place in about 10 seconds, you were petrified. Your legs were shaking and you were crying.

What was going on!? Did Seonghwa have any enemies!? Did they know about you and decided to take you as some sort of leverage!? You started breathing heavily and passed out from the panic and stress. When you woke up, you were in a dark, cold empty room. Nothing but the cliché sound of water dripping down onto the grey concrete floor. There was a very flimsy-looking door, that you were sure you could break down, but decided not to, in fear of the other side.

You no longer had any restraints, but it didn't make you feel any freer.

You were kept there, for hours.

You didn't know what time it was, you didn't know where you were, who those people were, or what they wanted.

You just kept sulking in the corner, knees hugged to your chest, imagining that you'd eventually meet your fate.

Out of nothing, the door burst open.

A panicking, out of breath Yunho barged in. His eyes instantly met yours and he knelt beside you.

"Oh my God, are you okay!?" He asked, examining your body.

A wave of relief washed over you upon seeing a familiar face, and you didn't hesitate in hugging him. He hugged you just as tightly, not wanting to let go.

Once you did, he caressed your face and looked into your eyes.

"See? You're not safe with that pesky CEO, he didn't even care that you were, you should come back to me, I'll keep you safe."

The second those words processed in your mind you shoved him away and stood up, weakly, as you hadn't eaten in hours.

"You fucking psycho! You orchestrated all this so you could play the part of hero and try to shit on Seonghwa!"

He stood up and tried walking towards you, seemingly offended.

"Y/N I would never-"

"Don't even try me. How the fuck would you even find me!? Oh and did you come alone!? Did you fight off the two guys that took me all by yourself!?"

Yunho was speechless.

"I just wanted to show you that I cared!"

You walked towards the door, angrily.

"Don't ever come near me again. Or I'm getting a restraining order." You told him, teary-eyed.

Although he was your ex you still loved him very much, as a friend of course. He was someone who you'd always treasured and trusted, even after you broke up, and seeing it all come apart like that broke your heart.

You walked outside of the building you could now recognize as an old school, and looked around.

You had no fucking idea where you were, and in a desperate fit, you called Seonghwa.

He answered quickly, and with a deep sigh.

"Seonghwa-"

"Listen, Y/N, if you didn't want to come or didn't feel comfortable all you had to do was tell me. You kept me waiting for hours, I didn't think of you as someone who'd do that."

"Seonghwa I was kidnapped."

There was a small silence, a mix of worry, shock and disbelief, that had caused him to go mute.

"What the fuck."

[flipomatic]

A New World Chapter 17: Goals (1/2)

Author Note: Hi, I’m still alive. I spent some time going for podium in D4DJ and things irl have been blowing up lately. I’m still dedicated to finishing this fic. This chapter has been split into two chapters. Thank you for your patience and continued support!

Please listen to the first two minutes of Kiseki at the right time during Rinko’s section. You’ll know when. (link if you need it https://youtu.be/BXsp6qALjr4)

Summary: The members of Roselia ponder what to do next.

First Chapter Previous Chapter

________________________________________________________

Rinko sat at her piano, eyes shut, hands poised in a familiar position over the keys. Her fingers began to move, pressing the keys softly the same way they had hundreds of times before. The tune of Black Shout drifted through the room.

It washed over her, bringing a much needed sense of calm.

Ever since the meeting earlier, Rinko’s heart had been in turmoil. Well, she’d been worried before then too, but she hoped the band would be able to come to a solution. Instead, she left with a new question and even more to dwell on.

In her mind Rinko could hear the other parts that went with hers, the blend of the band’s oldest song. She could hear how their performance used to sound, how they used to fit together.

Their performance last week had been different. Rinko tried to remember as she played, to imagine the new sound of her bandmates that they presented on stage, but she couldn’t. Their sound had changed so much, she could hardly recall it. Even Yukina’s singing had morphed into something new.

Rinko opened her eyes, hands stilling against the keys.

She had been sent to ponder a specific question, to set a goal for the band. When Rinko suggested that they take a week to think about it, it was because she couldn’t think of anything. That had never been her role.

No, Rinko’s role had always been to create. She wrote songs and created outfits, all parts of how the band presented itself. Though Rinko herself lacked presence, she contributed to the band through her work and her playing.

She supported the band, and in turn she found a place to belong. Over the last three years Roselia had come to feel like home.

It was a home that was always moving, always seeking the next step. Together, they tried to achieve something until they succeeded. Now they weren’t, and they were slowly drifting apart.

That was why Yukina thought they needed a new goal.

It wasn’t going to be enough.

Rinko’s thoughts had been trapped in this cycle, of being unable to come up with the next steps despite being desperate to do so. She’d hoped playing their music would help her think clearly, but it hadn’t worked.

Her view of the band felt more out of focus than ever, unable to even imagine how they now sounded together.

Without thinking, Rinko again began to play. It was a different song, once much slower and quieter than Black Shout before it.

The opening notes of Kiseki rang softly from the heart of the piano.

They didn’t perform this song often; it didn’t quite match their usual image. Regardless, Rinko loved it. She still remembered when Yukina had given her the lyrics for it, more subdued than usual.

She told Rinko it was a, “Thank you for everything,” with an uncharacteristic pink to her cheeks.

The accompanying tune flowed from Rinko’s soul. She matched the words carefully, with a soft melody that she hoped enhanced their meaning.

When she first played the song for the rest of the band, Yukina singing the lyrics along with her piano, they listened in stunned silence.

As the piece ended nobody said a word, but even in the quiet Rinko could feel the emotion in the room. She could feel how close the band had become, represented by the song she and Yukina had created together.

Rinko longed to return to that closeness.

Surely there was something she could do to help, to restore the band to how they used to be. She grimaced as she hit the chorus of the song, pressing her hands harder against the keys.

Perhaps that was the problem.

They had all changed so much, even over just a few months. It was impossible to go back.

The song hit its peak, unrelenting in its pace. Rinko continued to play, with her emotions laid bare through the piano.

As the members changed, Roselia could only go forward. Rinko too had changed and grown, through her playing and her compositions. Instead of growing apart, they needed to grow together.

That was easier said than done.

As the chorus ended, Rinko’s playing slowed to a halt. This was where the others would come in, bringing the whole band into the song. She could hear it in her mind. She wondered how it would sound if they played it now.

She needed to find out. Sitting here at her piano, yearning for the past, wasn’t doing her any favors.

Even if she couldn’t find a goal for the band, there were other things she could do.

Rinko’s hands moved again, deftly across the keys.

The melody that emerged was a new one, something she’d been working on near the start of the semester. If everything worked out, this would be Roselia’s next song.

No, that wasn’t the right way to think about it. Rinko was determined to make this Roselia’s next song. It still needed a lot of work and lyrics to go with it, but she was going to make sure it was a success. This was how she would support the band and bring them back together.

This song would carry them forward.

Rinko needed to spend more time listening to her bandmates from now on, adapting to the changes in their playing. Then she would be able to compose for the new Roselia.

If she tweaked it for her bandmates new sound, for the new sound of the band as a whole, that would help them find their path.

Rinko was sure of it.

____________________________________________________

Ako often found that playing video games provided a good distraction. Whether it be from school work or band troubles, they did the trick. Sayo had once specifically told her that video games provided escapist entertainment. They were playing NFO together at the time. Ako didn’t really understand that concept; she just enjoyed playing them.

As Ako directed her character across a field of burning lava, it was slightly easier to not think about the band meeting they held a couple days ago.

It felt like the only thing she’d done since the meeting was worry about it, so she really needed the break.

For while, it worked. Ako teamed up with a few other players to do some quests. They saved a local village from a volcano by redirecting the lava, then had their celebratory party crashed by the culprit who made the volcano erupt in the first place.

The twist made for a satisfying quest line, with a cool boss fight at the end. Ako would definitely run it with Rinko again, when her friend had time. After, Ako said goodbye to her party members.

As fun as playing had been, when the screen in front of Ako flicked to black nothing had really changed. Her own smudged reflection stared back at her, far more tired looking than she should’ve been after a gaming session.

Without the flashing lights on the screen, her thoughts returned to where they were still stuck, to her friends disappointed faces as they sat around the table at the family restaurant.

Lisa told Ako it wasn’t her fault, but she couldn’t help but feel that it was. If she’d done a better job, this wouldn’t have happened. The drums were supposed to keep the band together, and she couldn’t do it. Now, it felt like they were on the verge of collapse.

Ako wouldn’t let that happen. She hoped that the new goal they came up with would bring them all back together. She just needed to come up with something good. She wanted to keep playing with her friends, in the band that she loved.

Ako pushed her chair back from the computer, stretching her arms and back as she rose from it. She didn’t like to sit and wallow.

No, it was time for action. Perhaps she would brainstorm best if she moved her body. That would at least alleviate the tension in her back, which still remained even after stretching.

With that thought, Ako pushed in her chair and stepped away from the desk. She started walking across the room, turning to come back as she reached the end of it. One hand rested on her chin as she wracked her brain for any ideas.

It took a few laps before she thought of something.

Ako paused mid step as an idea popped into her mind, perhaps they could work to perform overseas? That would be a huge accomplishment, even bigger than playing in Future World FES. Ako perked up, before sagging her shoulders as she continued to think about it.

No, that wouldn’t work. She sighed as she started walking again. Her bandmates were all too busy with university to leave the country; they would never be able to get that kind of time off. Maybe during summer break, but that was too soon. There just wasn’t enough time.

It would have to be something close by then. Future World FES had always been Yukina’s dream, that the rest of them strived for with her. Ako wondered what Yukina was thinking now, what she thought about how far they’d fallen.

Though they’d accomplished their goal, they’d only grown apart since. They lost sight of what it meant to be Roselia.

Wasn’t it Ako’s job to remind them? Ako’s eyes widened in realization as she again stopped, almost stumbling forward. That was what she said, all those many months ago.

After spending so much time apart and heading down splitting roads, the band clearly needed a reminder. They needed to remember what brought them together, so they could move forward with an even stronger goal.

If Roselia got off track, Ako had committed to bringing back Louder to remind them of their path. It was time to follow through on that promise.

At their next practice, she’d be sure to.

_______________________________________________________

The park was quiet at this time of night. The local kids usually went home before sunset, leaving the swings and slides abandoned.

That suited Lisa well, as she sat on a swing near the edge of the lamppost’s light. She dug her shoe into the dirt, rocking the swing back and forth slightly.

She liked to come here to think, to get away from the bustle of her house and family. It was peaceful and calm, only slightly warm today since the sun had fully set. A few bugs chirped nearby.

The stillness of the night directly contrasted Lisa’s own tumultuous thoughts. She had seen the writing on the wall at their performance, which was only confirmed by the meeting last weekend; she knew the band was going downhill fast.

It was something she feared, something she dreaded. It was the reason she worked so hard to improve her skills, so she could help the band be the best. So that, even if things would never work out between them, she could stay by Yukina’s side.

Despite all of their efforts, or perhaps because of them, everything the band built was crumbling around them. But they weren’t giving up.

Yukina wanted to set a new goal.

Lisa believed in that, believed in her. Still, she was worried.

The problem wasn’t just that they didn’t have a goal. Ever since Future World FES they’d been looking in different directions, and their lack of focus was catching up to them.

Lisa should’ve realized it earlier, when she first heard hints of disunity during rehearsal. How foolish she’d been to just ignore it, to let things get this far. If only she’d realized and taken action, it wouldn’t have become this bad.

Now though, it was too late. They needed to come up with a new plan.

When Lisa thought about what the goal for the band should be, she only thought of Yukina. The woman she’d been following since she was a child, who she was finally able to walk side by side with in Roselia, dominated her mind. Yukina’s dreams had always lit the way for the band and propelled them forward. She was the guiding light that drove the band. Lisa filled more of a supporting role, helping Yukina and her bandmates as best she could.

This year Lisa had broken off to her own path, even more so than her bandmates. She was studying outside the realm of music, but still she longed to stay by Yukina’s side. She couldn’t bear it if the band were to fall apart.

Even though she was supposed to come up with a goal, Lisa was at a loss with what to do next. She suspected Sayo felt the same way, with the way her frown deepened over the course of the meeting.

Lisa knew that coming up with a goal wouldn’t be enough to solve their problems. They had already changed so much in a short period of time. It would take more to bring their sound back together. She sighed, dragging the toe of her shoe through the dirt.

Lisa thought back to Yukina, whose light had been on when she left the house. Yukina had probably already come up with their next goal, the next target for the band to hit. Even at the meeting, her eyes hadn’t wavered.

What could Lisa do to help?

Now she drew a pattern in the dirt, the outline of a rose. There had been so many times when she questioned her place in the band and her contribution to it. She’d learned from those experiences, about her role and what being in Roselia truly meant.

Cookies might be a good place to start. With their busy schedules, it had been a long time since the band had spent any quality time together. They really only met to practice, often without all their members.

Hanging out, even if it was just for long enough to eat cookies, could bring them closer once again. Lisa made a mental note to get some ingredients, so she could bake the finest batch of cookies she’d ever made.

No number of cookies would fix the bands problems of course; Lisa knew that. Getting the band together would only be the beginning. She needed to do more.

They only had a month until summer break, when everyone would be free. That sparked an idea in Lisa’s mind, something that would help for sure.

Lisa rose from the swing, a burst of energy surging through her. Her mouth was set in determination. She was careful not to step on her drawing as she walked away, headed back towards home with a spring in her step.

She needed to look at her calendar and start making some plans.

Next Chapter

[itgetsdarksometimes35]

Christmas Surprise

Warnings: Dub con, non con, 18+

Word Count: 5,405

Pairings: Dark!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Reader meets Bucky at her Cafe on Christmas Eve. After he thinks she has no one to spend Christmas with, he follows her home where secrets are revealed. 

~ indicates a time change

Prompts: “But you said it would snow.”

This is for @capcountdownchristmas​ challenge. I am, again, so sorry for being so late. Not gonna lie, busted a huge nut while writing this last night. 

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The hours dragged on as the lines around the mall got bigger and bigger. Your eyes stung with exhaustion and you held back the urge to yawn for the 10th time in the last minute. You couldn’t wait to get home, it was Christmas Eve. You would expect people to be home, yet the mall was alive with procrastinators, scavenging to get their last minute gifts. Everything was starting to wind down as you looked to the clock, nearly 5pm. Usually the cafe you worked in closed with the mall, at 10, but your boss insisted you close early at 5. He promised to take his family to Puerto Rico to see family, he wasn’t expecting so many people to be here at 10. He was probably kicking himself, as more people flooded in, they looked like they needed coffee to keep them afloat. You were taken from your thoughts as another customer walked into your vision. He had long dark brown hair with the clearest blue eyes. You were stunned at his beauty but quickly caught your breath and found your best customer service voice yet again. 

“Good evening, sir, are you ready to order?” You smiled to the man. He looked like the man you onced loved. Maybe that’s why you found him so beautiful. You saw your ex husband in his eyes. 

The man looked into your eyes and then back to the menu over your head. He ran his hand down his nicely trimmed beard. “Yeah, I’ll just take a large, hot, black coffee.” You smiled brighter and nodded, his order was painfully easy thank God, then started typing his order’s price into the cash register. 

“Okay, that’ll be $5, sir. Would you like to donate to the children’s Christmas Drive? They need donations to ensure the kids have a nice christmas this year over at the hospital.” You looked back to the man still smiling. 

“Sure.” He reached into his back pocket and took out his wallet. He pulled out a 10 dollar bill and handed it to you. You broke the 10 into two 5’s and put one in the register and the other in the donation jar. 

“Okay, thank you sir. I’ll get started on your coffee.” You closed the register and smiled as you handed his receipt to the man. He mumbled a thank you as you turned to start his coffee. You were the only one working that night, which made the day go only slower. As you pulled out the coffee pot you saw no coffee left. You’d have to make more, which would take about 5 minutes. This would be a nightmare if there were a lot of people in line, but you turned to look and nobody was there except the man with the pretty eyes. 

Thank god you thought to yourself. You started putting the coffee grinds into the coffee maker before putting it on the eye. The sound of the coffee brewing filled the small area as you walked back to the counter where the man stood waiting for his order. 

“Excuse me sir, I apologize but there was no coffee left. I’m making more now, your order should be no more than 5 minutes.” You smiled again, hoping this wouldn’t make him irritated. He already didn’t seem happy with being here. An angry customer was always hard to deal with, especially today. 

“That’s fine. Thank you.”

You nodded and stepped from behind the counter and made your way to the door, flipping the sign to closed. The clock read 5:03. The ones inside the cafe started filtering out, soon it was only you and the man. 

“So, any plans for the holiday?” Your voice seemed to surprise him. He looked to you before replying. 

“Not really,” He stopped talking before jumping a little, standing a bit taller. “How about you?” 

You started cleaning the cafe up, this way you could get out after delivering the coffee, you still wanted to pick up a gift. You had been saving all year for this gift, working several jobs, and now all your hard work would be paid off. You could finally afford it. 

“Nothing. Just get off work and head over to one of these stores and pick up a last minute gift for someone. I’ve been working hard to get it all year, so glad I can finally afford it.”

His face seemed to fall at this. “Husband?”

Now it was your turn to have your face turn down. “No. He passed away 7 years ago.”

“Oh, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to-”

“It’s alright,” You cut him off, your smile returning. “Really. His death was hard on me at first, had to drop out of college and get a job to support myself. It’s led to me having 2 jobs at once, but both are really good to me. Been working at this cafe for 7 years,” You pointed to the donation jar. “A nurse’s aid has been my other job. I like it there a lot, with the kids. I wanted to be a pediatrician so it’s not too far off what I saw in my future. I’m not as rich as I thought,” You chuckled. “But it pays the bills and allows me to have some nice things, buy some things for other people, too.”

You stopped cleaning the table you were working at. You looked up to see the man staring at you intently, you had probably scared him. You hadn’t meant to tell this stranger your life story, but you did have the tendency to blab on. Plus you hadn’t had many to really talk to. “I’m sorry. You didn’t come for story time.” 

He was about to reply when the coffee machine dinged, it was ready. You stood upright, bringing the rag with you to dispose of in the laundry basket, before making your way behind the counter. You silently grabbed a holiday cup before pouring the black substance inside. You popped a lid on and handed it to the customer, making sure to smile. 

“Thank you for waiting, hope you have a happy holiday.”

“Thanks, you too.” He started making his way to the door when he stopped. 

“Something wrong, sir?” You were shrugging on your coat and grabbing your purse and the keys to the cafe. You were ready to leave and get home. 

“Yeah, I forgot your tip.”

You smiled, he was really sweet. “No need sir, really. My tip can be the donation you gave.”

The man turned to you, scrunching up his face. He took out his wallet again, pulling out a bill. “Nonsense. That was a donation, this is a tip,” He walked over to you, handing you a 100 follar bill. “Consider it an early Christmas gift.” 

Your mouth was hitting the floor. $100?! You would never carry around that much money around, your parents taught you better than that. 

“I-I can’t accept this.” You stammered, eyes still wide staring at the money.

“Please, it’ll mean a lot to me.”

You looked up at the man and saw him smiling down at you. It made your heart clench. Your husband acted just like him, they’d be best friends. You smiled before taking the bill with shaking hands. “Thank you. So much.”

“You’re welcome. Get home safe,” He squinted at your name tag. “Y/N.”

You smiled even bigger. “I will, thanks, you too!”

And with that the generous man left you in the cafe. You grabbed the donation can and put it in your bag. You’d deliver it tomorrow on your shift. The hospital never closed, therefore you’d be there. You locked up the cafe, thankful you wouldn’t be coming back there for another 3 days, then made your way to the main area. You still had to get that gift. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You clutched the gift tighter to your body. You didn’t live in a bad part of town, your 2 jobs barely ensured this, but you still didn’t trust someone wouldn’t steal the expensive box in your hands. You went up to your apartment, it was oddly quiet. You figured the person was still at the neighbors, you were home earlier than expected, so you decided to start wrapping the gift. Like every Christmases, the tree stood brightly decorated. Other years small gifts sat under the tree, they were all you could manage. Now, nothing was there. You had kept from spending so you could have this gift you were busy wrapping now. You were excited, they were going to be so excited. You looked outside your window and frowned. It still wasn’t snowing. The weather man said it would be by now. 

You were finishing the wrapping when the doorbell rang. They’re here! You quickly fix your hair and put the newly wrapped box under the tree before making your way to the door. You wished you could’ve changed, had a quick shower maybe. Oh well. 

You opened the door with a smile and was about to hug the person on the other side when you realized it wasn’t who you thought it was. Far from it even. 

“Hi, Y/N!”

It was the man from the cafe. How did he get here, why was he here? 

“I saw you come into the apartment. Would you believe I have family right down there?” 

You smiled and relaxed a bit. He wasn’t a crazy stalker. “Wow, that’s crazy! I didn’t know that.”

“Yeah...They’re about to head out to go caroling. Not really my thing, so I think I’m going to head home. Wanted to just pop in before I left though.” He seemed to be stalling in your doorway. Like he didn’t want to go.

“Oh, well would you like to come in? I was going to start making hot chocolate.”

His eyes brightened at the idea. “Yeah! Erh- I mean are you sure? Wouldn’t want to impose…” His voice trailed off, as if he were hinting at something. 

“No, not at all!” You pulled him inside before closing the door. 

“My name’s Bucky by the way. Sorry for not introducing myself earlier.”

You started walking toward the kitched before turning your head over your shoulder to look at him and smile. “Hey Bucky. I’m Y/N as you know,” You laughed with him as you took milk out of the fridge. “You can have a seat wherever. I know it’s not much, but we make do.”

Bucky nodded before taking a seat on the couch. The walls were bare, dark squares in their place. He frowned at them. “Were there pictures hanging here before?”

You poured the milk into a pot on the stove and turned the eye on then walked to where you could sit next to Bucky on the couch. “Yeah, they were of my husband. I took them down after he… I just couldn’t seem to move on with them there. I meant to put them up again one day, when I could handle it, but I still don’t think I can. Not even 7 years later. Now I’m not one for pictures, would rather live in the moment.” You stopped talking and turned to him. He was staring at you. It made you kind of uncomfortable. Why did he look at you like that? You shifted under his gaze before smiling again. “There I go again, talking your ears off.” 

Bucky shook his head, hair shifting around his shoulders perfectly. “No, I like it. Not had anyone to talk to in years, I like to listen more anyway.” You nodded. All you had done since your husband passed away was listen. Sure, you enjoyed it, but what you’d give to have someone hear you for once. 

“Your family not one for listening?”

“Not really. They’re often off in their world when I talk. My brother, Steve, is always trying to get me to talk, and he listens, but I can’t stand the look he gives me when I do talk, like I’m nothing but my problems. He says I can talk to him, and I can, but I can’t help but to feel judged by him. I know he’s trying his best, but I wish I could talk to someone new. Someone who didn’t know my past.”

You stared at him stunned. It was the most he had talked to you. Then again, he was a stranger. Which pricked at your nerves, you had let a stranger into your home. He could’ve been a killer, especially with this talk about “his past”. 

“Who did you say your family was? I know everyone in the building and I’ve lived here for about 10 years. I feel I should’ve seen you at a Thanksgiving or Christmas or something.”

In that moment the stove started making sizzling noises, your milk was flooding over. You jumped up to move it off the eye and turning the hot one off entirely. The milk starts to stop bubbling when taken off the eye and you turn to get the cocoa packets. Right then you’re met with the hard chest of Bucky. How long was he behind you?

“Oh, I’m sorry,” You tried to side-step him but he was quick to get in front of you again.

“Bucky?”

“You know, Y/N, I was really relieved that you didn’t recognise me. It took me a while to realize who you were in the coffee shop.I was hoping you weren’t married. You had been the first person to talk to be in a long time. Besides Steve, of course. I felt something, a connection. But when you mentioned a gift, I’ll admit, I was pissed. I wanted you to myself. A sweet, gorgeous girl like you is hard to come by now. When you mentioned your husband's death 7 years ago I finally remembered you. I wasn’t sure at first, but I’m pretty sure,” He looked around the walls again then back your terrified face and trembling body. Who was this guy? “You have no pictures up so you’ll have to correct me if I'm wrong. Was your husband an ex Shield agent by any chance?”

You relaxed a bit. Your husband was a Doctor, he passed away in a car accident on his way home from work. 

“No. He was a doctor,” You glanced to the door. You were angry at yourself for letting this clearly delusional man into your home. He had no family here, and he followed you home. Now he thought he knew you and your family. “Bucky, I’m sorry but I’m going to have to ask you to leave before I call the police.” Again you tried to step around him. 

He grabbed your wrist and pulled you close. “I don’t think I will, doll.” You looked up to Bucky with wide searching eyes. You looked around you, scouting out something to use as a weapon. Anything. Your eyes landed on the mugs and you reached out to them. 

“No you don’t.” You screamed as you were thrown over your shoulder. You thrashed in his hold, trying to wiggle free. 

“Bucky, stop! Let me go now!” You were settled back on the couch, Bucky reaching into his jacket pocket and pulling out rope.

“Didn’t think I’d use these on you. Expecting to put them on that boyfriend of yours, but I suppose since he’s not here yet..” Boyfriend? 

He made quick work tying your hands together behind you before keeping a stern hand on you upper left arm and turning you to face him.

“Good. Better?”

“Fuck you.” You spat

Bucky smiled wider at you. “There’s the feisty woman I remember.”

“Remember? We’ve never met.”

“No, we haven’t. Not officially. I studied you from afar, back when my name was still the Winter Soldier,” The name seem to make him shiver. “I saw you and your husband, watched you for weeks. You were different then. A feisty young thing. No wiser to who your husband was.”

“You have the wrong person. My husband was a doctor, not an agent.”

Bucky rolled his eyes at you. “Yeah, that’s what you said then. His nurse, Nancy? The one with short brown hair? Not really a nurse, doll, she was an agent. And so was he.” The girl did ring a bell. She always had a lingering touch on your husband, one you didn’t like. You had complained to him a lot about her, he always told you she had nothing on you. You believed him. 

Bucky’s hand reached into his pocket again. You watched him and realized he was wearing leather gloves. Strange for the weather. He took out a photo and showed you. It was a picture of you and your husband at a party at his work. The day before he died. They had thrown him a party, he had saved someone’s life through dire circumstances. The next day he was supposed to have off, but he had to go in for an emergency surgery. He never made it back home. 

“He had just killed a couple of people that worked for an organization called HYDRA. They weren’t happy, so they sent me to kill him. As always, I watched my target for weeks. I was waiting for the perfect moment,” He caressed your trembling face, you were close to tears. “The day after this photo was taken I shot him while in his car. False phone call and everything got him out of the house and away from you. Guess even with my brains in the blinder I had fallen for you. Didn’t want you seeing your husband's brains all over the floor. All these years later I see you in that cafe,” Bucky shook his head. “I couldn’t stand the fact that I had done that to you. If I had known I would’ve done this sooner.”

You shook your head. This didn’t make sense. The police ruled your husband’s death a terrible car accident. He had been driving at night and exhaustion behind the wheel caused him to crash into the wall. He wasn’t an agent. He hadn’t killed anyone. But this guy claimed he did, and that he had killed his husband. All the while being called the Winter Soldier. It made you uneasy. 

“You’re lying.” You started trying to move away from Bucky again, but he easily pulled you back using his grasp on you arm. 

“I wish I was. I was a monster, but so was your husband. Killing people, some of them innocent. Then he came home and lied to you. I’d never lie to you.” He was inching closer to you now, you could feel his body heat.

You whimpered when he pressed his lips to you, refusing to kiss back. He pulled away after a moment and looked into your eyes, his blown black with lust. “I’ve been wanting to do that for so long. And now, you’re mine. I don’t care who he is, he’s going to learn you’re mine now and I don’t plan on letting you go.” Who was he?

Before you could ask he brought his left hand to your left breast and squeezed. You whimpered again and tried to shove him away best way you could with your binded hands. 

“Bucky, no please.”

Bucky smiled again. “What’s wrong? You afraid your boyfriends going to show up?”

“N-no! Please, just don’t do this. Let me go.”

“No can do. I told you, you’re mine,” His hand traveled down your chest and below your stomach, stopping near your heat clad jeans. “Besides, I can’t let you spend Christmas alone.”

Just then Bucky made quick work unbuttoning your jeans and sliding them down. You jerked your hips trying to make the process harder for him, but alas your motives didn’t deter him. He slided them along with your panties down revealing your pussy to him. 

Bucky hummed in approval. He looked to your shirt and quickly grabbed it, ripping it from your body. 

“Bucky stop!”

He ignored you as he clipped off your strapless bra, leaving you completely nude to him. “You’re prettier than I imagined, dear.” He licked his lips looking you up and down. He removed his gloves and shrugged off his jacket. You gasped as his left arm shined in the light. It was metal. He removed his shirt before dropping his jeans, leaving him in his underwear. His member strained in the thin fabric, aching for freedom. He was huge. Bigger than anything you had ever taken. Bucky saw you watching and smirked down at you before palming himself. 

“I’ve been hard since the cafe,” He growled. “Never been the hard before. If I’m being honest, all I want for Christmas is you, doll.” He removed himself from his underwear and groaned. He kicked the fabric away and gripped his base before groaning again. He walked over to you again before getting to his knees in front of your heat. You hated to admit it, but you were growing wet. Years of nights spent alone with your toys, none filling you the way a man could, the way your husband did. Most of the time you went to sleep unsatisfied, and others you just ignored the urges entirely. Majority of the time you worked so there wasn’t much you could do anyway. 

Bucky brought himself forward and licked a line from your entrance to your bud. He moaned at the taste. 

“You taste like heaven, doll.” He brought his hand to either thigh, spreading you out more for him. He dove back in, feasting on your pussy like a final meal. Your stomach was doing flips at this old pleasure, something you hadn’t felt in years. You were biting back the noises you wanted nothing more than to let fly, and it took everything not to grind your hips into face, bringing your core more into his mouth. It wasn’t until he brought a finger to your hole that you couldn’t contain the moan that slipped. Bucky looked to you through lashes and smiled into your heat. He pumped the finger into you before adding another, you relished in the stretch your fingers could never bring. Your hips started on their own accord and you let them. Bucky moaned into your core and you shook from the vibrations. Your body was in control and you didn’t mind, too blissed to care at the moment. Finally, Bucky curled his fingers into you at the right spot that had you seeing stars. You moaned out loud in ecstasy and Bucky fought to keep your thighs from closing around his head as he continued to slurp you up. 

He stood up and removed his fingers from you, popping them into his mouth. His eyes rolled back as he sucked on them before removing them. 

“That’s the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.”

You were still catching your breath when Bucky sat down. Your mind was still cloudy with your orgasm as he lifted you onto his lap, his hot member pressing into your sensitive cunt. 

“B-Bucky, wait-”

You were cut off by Bucky pulling you all the way down on him. You gasped from the stretch and he hissed from your tight walls hugging him. He could stay like that all day. 

“Fuck, baby, you feel so good.” 

He held onto your hips and starting moving you up and down in a slow rhythm. You were growing accustomed to his length and the pleasure starting building yet again. The room started to grow hot, despite the freezing temperatures of New York City outside, and your bodies felt sticky. Bucky started picking up the pace, the sounds of skin slapping against skin filled the room. Your moans mixed with his.

“Shit, your pussy is so good, hugging me so good.” He slapped your ass, guiding you faster and faster on his cock. He looked down where your bodies met and moaned as he watched his cock disappear into you before reappearing wetter. “This feels good doesn’t it? You like it when I fuck you on your coach don’t you?” He reached down and found your bud again, making you cry out. “Tell me you like he.” He growled through gritted teeth, dark eyes boring into yours.

“I like it.” Your voice weak with pleasure.

Bucky hummed, working you harder against him. 

“You’re gonna make me come baby. I want you to cum first. Let go on my cock, I want you dripping all down my dick, doll. Can you do that? Can you cum on my cock like a good girl?” 

You nodded your head, you were close and wanted it so bad. He was fucking you so good it hurt. Your breath was getting faster and your eyes threatened to close. Bucky flicked your bud again before you exploded. You came loud, clenching his cock in a viper grip as your release shook your body and threaten to slide down his thick cock. Bucky didn’t stop, he was determined to finish as he rocked you harder, his eyes closed in intense pleasure. His hips rose to meet yours when he finally hit up into you one last time before screaming your name. You felt him cum deep in you, he ground his hips a little to work himself through it. 

As you both caught your breath he hugged you close to him. His breath fanned over your shoulder as your overworked body slumped beneath his chin. Your eyes were heavy with exhaustion. After a while Bucky removed you from him, settling you carefully on the couch, his sum drizzling out of you a bit. He got up and moved in the back while you sat still, still too dazed to think about the fact he had cum in you with no protection. You’d have to deal with it later. 

Bucky came back with a wet washcloth, a night shirt, and fresh underwear. He carefully cleaned your core before dressing you, then himself. He was just untying your wrist when a knock on the door sounded. You both looked to it in shock then to each other. Your eyes were wide on him and he just smiled again. You made to stand but he pushed you down. 

“I got it.” Was all he said while he stood up, his tall frame moving to the door. You rubbed your wrist, tears threatening to spill over; you knew who was at the door. 

Bucky pulled the door open. 

“Sorry we’re late, we went to the park and let time get ahead of us - Oh! Hello.” The old woman, Mrs. Kim, stood at your door talking with Bucky. He wasn’t looking at her, though, he was looking at Oliver. 

“That’s no problem, Mrs. Kim. Did he have a good time?” You screamed from your place on the couch. Mrs. Kim looked passed Bucky to you and smiled.

 “Oh yes! He couldn’t stop talking about a train set Kid’s Kompany just released. It sounds awesome.” She looked down at the little boy who smiled up at her. Your heart leapt in your chest and you looked to the gift under the tree. He did nothing but talk about the set since he first saw it on tv, you were so glad you were able to get it. 

“Thanks again Mrs. Kim.”

“No problem, honey. Oliver is such a joy, have a good night,” she looked to you then Oliver then back to Bucky. “It was nice meeting you, dear.” She held out her hand to Bucky, to which he shook still eyeing Oliver. Mrs. Kim winked at you and walked away, back to her apartment. She was a nice old woman, her and her husband always agreeing to help with Oliver. She always said you needed to move on from your husband. I guess she thought Bucky was the next prince charming. She was sort of right. 

Oliver looked at Bucky curiously with his big blue eyes, they fancied his dad’s and Bucky’s you thought, before sidestepping him into the apartment. He wanted to know who Bucky was, but you raised him to not be rude. He’d more than likely ask later if he wasn’t introduced. He looked to you and smiled wide before running over with his arms spread out out, ready for a hug.

“Mommy!”

You smiled at your son as he ran into your arms. You hugged him close to you, kissing his dark locks. 

Bucky shut the door before turning to you entirely. 

“Mommy, it’s not snowing.” Your son said with a pout.

You smiled sadly at him, you knew he was disappointed. “I know, honey”

“But you said it would snow.”

“I know I did, the weatherman said it would.”

“It still might.” You and your son looked to Bucky. He was smiling at your son while leaning on the wall, arms crossed. 

“Really?” His blue eyes filled with excitement and he ran to Bucky before you could stop him. Your eyes rounded with fear. 

“That’s right. In fact, when it does we’re going to go sledding.”

Oliver turned to you, his excitement growing. He turned back to Bucky. “Sledding? I’ve never been.”

“You’ve never been sledding before? Well, its awesome, you’re gonna love it, Oliver.”

Your son’s name sounded like venom on Bucky’s lips. How dare he volunteer to take your son somewhere? You’d raise Hell before you allowed that to happen. 

Oliver’s curiosity burst and he asked, “Who are you?”

Bucky acted stunned and looked between you and Oliver. You shot daggers at him, what was he doing?

“Did mommy not tell you, bud? I’m your dad.”

Now you were furious. Oliver had never met his dad or seen photos. You were just 2 months pregnant with him when his father died. He hadn’t even known, you planned to tell him the night he died. You had said you had no photos of him when he asked. You planned to show him, but one drunk sad night you threw them away. You had missed his father deeply, surely he wouldn’t need photos. It was a stupid move on your part; a sad, stupid move. 

Oliver looked stunned but quickly jumped with joy and hugged Bucky tight. Bucky returned the hug. Oliver was close to tears looking at his “dad”. 

“Where have you been dad? I missed you so much, mommy said you died before I was born.”

“I know buddy I’m sorry. I had to trick mommy because I was scared to meet you. But now I’m here, and I will never leave you guys again. Mommy won’t have to work anymore and we’re going to move in together. How does that sound?”

Oliver nodded his head yes. “It sounds good, daddy!”

You looked on stunned. You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. 

Bucky picked up Oliver and moved to where you sat on the couch. He sat him in your lap and moved to the tree. He picked up the present and walked back. He handed the present to Oliver who looked at Bucky surprised. “For me?”

“Yeah, buddy. That’s from mommy, she worked so hard to get that for you.”

Oliver turned to you and hugged you again. “Thanks mommy!”

You hugged Oliver back and smiled at him. “You’re welcome baby.”

Oliver ripped passed the green reindeer wrapping paper to reveal the train set. He squealed with delight and hugged you again, chanting thank yous over and over. Bucky pulled you closer so that you all looked like a family hugging. “My present is going to be sledding. I’m sorry I don’t have anything else, I wasn’t expecting to be coming this Christmas. But next year, I promise it’s going to be amazing,” Bucky said to Oliver. Oliver nodded, his hair bouncing everywhere. He smiled at you and then Bucky. Bucky’s hand traveled down to your stomach. “We have another surprise, buddy. This one’s from us both, so in total you have 3 presents. This time next year, you’re going to have a little brother or sister.” 

Your heart stopped at that. Oliver gasped and looked to you again. “Really? Yay! Best Christmas ever!” He had always wanted a little sibling, you were convinced it’d never happen. Bucky rubbed your stomach, a silent promise played in his actions. You felt sick and your face contorted into fear yet again.

Bucky smiled at you. “Consider it a Christmas surprise.” 

[suffering-and-happy-about-it]

... I'll Be Watching You (Sriracha, Part 32.)

Description: A problematic college student gets the worst summer job of the ‘83 - Jim Hopper, the Chief of police in your hometown will have you as his secretary since his old lady Flo has two months lasting holiday. It was agreed so Hopper could let you far away from all the trouble.

Part Summary: You thought that love is strong. That love can overcome anything. But what are you supposed to do... When the person you love... Just isn't there anymore?

A/N: I'M GETTING EMOTIONAL AGAIN. I KNEW IT WILL COME, BUT I DIDN'T REALIZED UNTIL NOW. I'M SO SORRY.

Word count: 3.8 K

Warnings: Angst, fluff, everything mixed together, major character death, (mine) sadness, (mine) minor depression, (mine) anxiety... I JUST REALLY MISS HOP, OKAY?

Tagging: @nemodoren​, @creedslove​, @missdictatorme​

Master list: H E R E

It was just another normal Thursday in the bistro. Well... Normal was too far fetched maybe. It was full because a lot of people came to the bistro to have dinner there before taking off to the funfair happening just five minutes from Hawkins. The people were in a good mood, the TV on the wall was going between news channels, showing various towns celebrating the Fourth of July.

The independence day was always great for you - huge tips, big smiles and good chatting with the costumers. You also liked to watch the fireworks on the TV, just to stop for a second and look at the colors, laughing and happiness it could cause. On days like those were, you loved your work. Ada was there with you, she always was, and another waitress came by - Camilla. She usually didn't have her shifts crossed with yours, but she was nice as well.

You were worried out of your mind for Hopper. Eleven at least called you earlier that day, telling you what was going on. She always at least told you who she’s with - but he just disappeared two days ago and people were spreading rumors that maybe, just maybe, he ran off to Indianapolis with Joyce Byers. You didn't believe any of that, but it was kind of strange for Jim to go off radars just like that. You knew that he's at least partially okay, but where he was or what he was up to, you haven't got any idea.

You leaned over the desk to take another offer, swaying your hips in the direction of table number four. What were the kids up to, you had no idea - you just knew that Eleven had teamed up with Max and that she had some relationship trouble with Mike. They told you that they have plans - and you trusted Eleven. You made a compromise with Jim that she can plan something on the Fourth of July and you kept your word. You simply trusted her, not asking any more questions.

"Breaking news." - The news suddenly shifted from a playful and happy tone to a completely serious one. Everybody, including you, in the room, looked at the screen, while you put the plates down. Could it be a fire started by the fireworks? Or did something happened at the fair? You shut up and watched the TV. Then an image of Starcourt mall in flames flashed on the screen and there could be gasps and whispers heard in the room. Your heart stopped as well, imaging Eleven anywhere near this.

"Starcourt mall is on fire. The source of the fire itself remains a mystery, but about thirty people are rumored to be inside the building at the moment." - A woman on the screen said with a completely serious, yet emotionless face. That was... Tragic. Truly tragic. How could one of the most modern shopping centers catch on fire? On the Fourth of July? Was it an error on the inside or could fireworks cause that?

"Local police Chief, James Hopper, is rumored to be inside along with eight teenagers who he intended to safe from the construction. Stick with us for news as soon as we got any." - She said and the logo of the TV station appeared on the screen.

Your look immediately traveled to Ada and your boss, who come to listen to the breaking news as well, your heart racing at the speed of light, thumping so loud that you could barely hear anything else. Hopper. Hopper was inside. In the falling apart building which caught on fire. They were yelling at you to drive there, so you nodded and not caring about the uniform, you ran to your old car.

Everything seemed to be unclear and smudged - you running to the car, starting it and driving off to the mall, breaking every possible speed limit that existed. You listened to the radio station informing on the current situation, but there were no mentions of Hopper or the teenagers. They were only talking about the firefighters and more and more policemen driving in, the sirens of ambulance cars in the distance and about how destroyed Starcourt appeared. It was slowly coming down.

You stopped in the middle of the parking lot, even leaving the motor running, just jumping off and running directly to the crime scene. You ran to where the police tape was starting, joining those who already stood there. It was indeed in flames. And it was one of the most terrifying things you've seen. Your mouth opened up as you looked at the dark clouds of smoke coming from the inside, the destroyed foyer which could be perfectly seen from the spot you were standing at and at the disoriented. Lost people standing there... Waiting for something. Anything.

You looked closely and furrowed - you realized that just in front of you, there was Steve Harrington dressed up in his Scoops Ahoy uniform sitting on the ground with a blonde girl, the medics were patching up his beaten up face and wrapping him up in a blanket. There were Eleven's friends sitting around on the pavement in front of Starcourt, everyone had a blanket over their shoulders. You noticed even Joyce Byers and Murray Bauman coming out, supported by the firemen, Joyce running to her son as soon as she saw him, not caring about the medics. She was crying her eyes out, her expression was terrified and she clearly couldn't understand a thing that was happening. But she hugged Will tighter.

And then you noticed her. Eleven standing in the middle of all of that chaos, with a patch on her forehead, dressed up in a bright yellow shirt with a black pattern, looking completely out of focus. She was searching for Hopper. Your crying got louder just because you knew she's safe.

You crouched under the tape, not caring about all the policemen that came from Bloomington, running towards her. You were screaming her name with relief. She turned to you, unable to take a gasp at the situation, she didn't know what to do at all. One of the officers almost ran after you, but Powell shook his head and caught his shoulder. Eleven was known as your daughter just as you were known as her mother. Nobody cared how you got together or that you were only about ten years apart from each other, they just knew you're family.

Eleven ran to your arms, almost bringing you down. Your hands grasped her face, your fingers cleaned it up a bit before you kissed her forehead and brought her closer to your body, almost suffocating her. You couldn't care less - the relief was just too strong.

"Ah, baby girl." - You mumbled with sobbing, still holding her in your arms. She started to cry as well, hugging your bistro uniform with her palms. Where was he? Where was your goddamn fiancé? Why wasn't he coming out of the flames? You were holding Eleven, which made you partially calm, but there was no sign of Hopper.

Joyce slowly looked around to see Karen Wheeler, Mrs. Sinclair and Mrs. Handerson running towards their boys, but then she looked at you, holding Eleven tightly. You were searching for something and Eleven was too - until her gaze fell on Joyce. She brought Will even closer when the events happening just minutes ago resurfaced on her mind. And Eleven knew what was going on in a second - and at the time, she truly started to cry.

Jim loved both you more than anything in the whole world. If there was anything he would sacrifice for, it was you two. If there was anyone that gave his life a direction and meaning, it was his daughter and the love of his life. He sacrificed himself, so you could be safe. But it dragged you to the hell and back - it was soon about to, but you didn't see it coming yet.

When you realized that maybe Hopper isn't coming out, you could swear that you felt the ground shaking under your feet. Did Eleven know that too? Of course, she did know that. She wasn't dumb.

That night, you both slept at your mother's - well, Eleven cried herself to sleep with her head on your thighs and you were sitting at the coffee table with a mug of black tea with a blanket over your shoulders, still watching the news, hoping for some news about Hopper. Your mother was with you the whole time, watching over you since your eyes were practically glued to the TV screen. And there were news, around five in the morning - but they sure as hell weren't good.

"We have another breaking news about the Starcourt mall being in flames." - The moderator said with a completely serious face - this time, it was a man. Your palm tightened around your mother's as you moved closed with your breath stuck. - "The list of the victims had finally been completed. Along with thirty citizens of Hawkins and Bloomington, there is also the name of local police Chief, James Hopper..." - He confined his speech, but you didn't listen to any of the things he said anymore. Your covered your mouth with your palm closed your eyes tightly and started to cry again. The coldness hugged your body tightly, flowing all over you, making your head spin and your heart thump a bit slower than it used to.

You pulled yourself together, but it was just because of Eleven. You needed to be strong for her - you were both suffering in your special way, but there were many things to go through. You gave yourself a few days to cry and to try to get a hold on that shock, mostly just sticking together, like cooking, or reading or just nuzzling while watching a movie. She was allowed to sleep with you in your bed, it somehow made the falling asleep easier.

After a week, you knew that you had to do something - so you decided to visit Joyce in her workplace, dropping Jane off at Mike's to spend some time with her friends, which could also make her help to feel better. You knew that you're not able to take care of Eleven on your own. You wanted to. You couldn't even say out loud in words how much you wanted to - but you hadn't your place, you hadn't even your diploma finished, you hadn't got any work... You weren't in a position to take care of your baby girl.

But Joyce could help you with that. She was surprised to see you walking in, especially with how bad you looked. There was no wonder why did you look so bad, but you looked like a ghost.

"Oh, hey there." - She waved at you with a small smile on her lips. She was looking tired as well, but at least, she did stop with living her life. She couldn't stop her whole life, not even for a minute since her need to be the rock for Johathan and Will was too strong. Eleven was also the one keeping you going - without her, you wouldn't be most likely ready to get up in the morning. Those were just things only moms could understand.

"Hi, Joyce." - You smiled back and took a sandwich out of your bag, giving it to her. - "Are you up for lunch? Took you some Bologna one, since I heard you like them the most."

Of course that Joyce was. It was a normal working day, which meant that she won't have much to do until two p.m. You sat in front of Melvald's under the summer sun and the warm wind, eating sandwiches. You knew you can talk to Joyce about the Hopper situation - she was his friend and probably, she was with him until the end. She was the first person who had crossed your mind when you thought about letting Eleven go to live her own life.

“How are you feeling, darling?” - She took your left hand to yours, looking at the small piece of silver on your ring finger. It was still there - just as she remembered it months ago when you first visited Melvald’s after that big day.

“Like a piece of fucking shit, not gonna lie.” - You chuckled bad and nodded to yourself. - “But she's making me feel better. What about Will and Jonathan? How are they holding up?”

“You know boys. They're almost adults, so they don't talk to their mamma about everything going on inside their heads. If there would be something off, I'm sure that they would come to me.” - She smiled back with sincerity. She was such a good mom and even a better human being. You haven't talked to Joyce much before you and Hop started dating, but when you got to meet her, you knew that you love that human being. She was also the one who supported your decision to date Hopper from the very start.

“I heard you'll be moving out of Hawkins?” - You asked and took a fair bit from that sandwich. You haven't eaten properly in a week, so you knew that even that small Bologna sandwich will bring you to bellyache.

“People talk, don't they?” - Joyce giggled back and nodded soon after. - “I'm thinking about Maine. But maybe ill change my mind.” - She shook her shoulders and smiled sadly. - “It will be strange to leave Hawkins. I'm living here since the day I was born and my boys do too.”

This was your time to ask her. You just prepared yourself to shoot the question out blatantly.

“What about taking Eleven with you?” - You told her a bit too quickly, taking a deep breath after that. You gave yourself a long time to think about how you'll continue the speech. - “I mean... Joyce. I don't want to get rid of her by any means, I love her with everything I have and since last week, she's the only one who keeps me in the boundaries of sanity. But she endured already too much in Hawkins - Jim told me about her escaping a lab near the town, she was surviving in the woods on her own, he adopted her and now, when he's gone... We still have each other and nothing’s more powerful than that, but I don't think I can do it on my own.” - You told silently and Joyce, even though she was already furrowing at you, didn't interrupt your speech.

“I don't have anything to give her - no flat, no money, my job isn't the best and I'm still a college student. My parents would take care of her, yeah, but... I don't think she would be happy here. Everything's going to remind her more and more as the time passes and I know so, because I already see memories of Jim every time I walk out, or when I cross the police station... And it's painful and numbing. I don't feel like I can take care of her, not at this point in my life.” - You caught Joyce's hand, looking her in the eyes, having a completely serious expression. - “Please, I beg you. Take her with you, I'll send you money for the rent and food, I’ll support her, I’ll visit you as often as I can, just... Don't let her rot in Hawkins.”

Joyce was watching your hands on her thigh, still chewing the last bite of the Bologna sandwich she took, processing all the information. There were a lot of things you tried to say and she wasn't completely sure if she caught all of them, but the things she heard, they were pretty rational as far as she could say. As a mother, she could feel how hard it must've been to even ask the questions you did or to even allow yourself to think about them.

It did make sense.

“Darling, I know it's hard for the both of you and I know how in pain you are while asking me and the least I can do is saying yes. You can count on me and Jonathan. You need time for yourself and once you're ready, I know you'll give Eleven the best home a child can ask for.” - Joyce answered with a low smile, making you cry with gratitude once again. The last thing you needed to do was to talk to Eleven about that - which was the worst part about everything.

You weren't ready to talk about the moving out until the end of August - you dodged the subject in both your head and conversations with Eleven. You told your mother and even if you had a huge argument after that, she could say that she understands why you chose such a radical solution.

When you felt like you're finally ready to talk about that with Eleven, you lit a fire on your parent’s garden and made both of you some tea while she prepared the marshmallows to roast.

“Come here.” - You smiled at her and rose your right arm. She took it as an invitation and you snuggled her up to your side, kissing her temple. She smiled and leaned a bit away from you - she was getting older and as most of the kids of her age, she started to think that things like that are cringy. - “I need to tell you something, okay?” - You whispered and Eleven nodded, while she started to roast the first pieces of the sweet treat.

“It doesn't make me happy, baby girl, but... I was silent about all of that for already a bit too long. You know I love you and that I want you to be happy, right?” - You asked with a slight furrow, watching the flames. Eleven slightly nodded, still looking away from you. - “I think it would be better if you move out with Joyce, you know?”

That was when her big, brown and widened eyes looked you in the face. You were already crying at that moment, being completely broken. She shook her head, catching your palm in hers.

“I don't want to go.” - She whispered, starting to cry as well. You palmed her face, hugging her with your eyes closed, trying to keep yourself calm. How could you stay calm in a situation like that one? - “My home is here with you, Mike and grandma. Why don't you understand?”  

“And it will always be your home, baby. You just need to give me some time to find us a flat, I need to finish that degree... But then, it will be just us again.” - You whispered and cried, even more, feeling as Eleven wiggled out of your embrace. She threw the stick away, not even thinking about eating the marshmallows. You completely failed that one as a mother. You should tell her sooner and choose different words. This was just a stupid move.

“I don't want to go!” - She yelled and stormed off to somewhere. You stayed there all alone, crying and regretting ever doing this.

The following weeks were extremely hard for you. You finally visited the cabin again alongside Joyce, Steve Harrington, Jonathan, and Eleven, trying to save at least something. You cried with relief when you found all of your photo albums untouched and the framed photo still standing on the nightstand. There was even his naughty album, which you took with you as well, knowing well it has some photos of him too.

Most of all, you saved the rest of yours, his and Eleven’s clothes, moving a lot of it to Joyce’s house afterward. You kept a lot of his t-shirts and flannels, giving Eleven the ones she liked the most.

When the day of your separation came, you both lived at Joyce’s for a week to help her with packing all of the things. Joyce was making you occupied and laughing almost all the time, not thinking about what is coming. Even Eleven stepped aside from being very angry with you, she still was, but she started hugging you again and calling you mom. You and Joyce agreed on the kids staying every day of the week since you knew that they spent their best years together.

Especially sad you were about Mike - he was about to lose not only a girlfriend but also a friend he knew since kindergarten. The day before Byers left Hawkins, the house was empty, but you had a big pizza party, letting the kids do everything they wanted in the living room. And to your surprise, they played Dungeons and Dragons until the morning came around.

“Can you for a minute?” - You asked Eleven when she helped Will and Mike to pack the younger Byers’ room. She nodded, leaving the two boys alone. Joyce knew what you’re about to do, so she left the kitchen and told the kids not to come there. You gave her a small, wrapped up package, encouraging her to open it up.

It was the blue shirt Hopper gave you before you almost left for Indianapolis. It started to smell like you, since you wore it a lot, but now, it was time to pass on the legacy. Eleven knew you loved that piece of flannel, so she held it on her chest, looking you in the face. - “Why?” - She whispered.

“This shirt was really special for Jim. It’s a family tradition that one gives it to a person they love. He got it from Sara, then, and one day, he gave it to me. And it's my turn to pass the shirt on. I want you to have it.” - You smiled at her, kissing the back of her head once again.

“I love you, you know that, right? And he loves you too.” - You whispered when she hugged you so tight you could barely breathe, making you close your eyes while you closed your eyes, leaning your nose into her hair. - “I know that, mom. I know.”

And when you watched her leave with Joyce, crying her eyes out as well as everyone else, you knew that the part of you which belonged to Jim left on that day with Eleven. She was taking it away with her, leaving her behind against her will. Nancy drove you back home that night, but you knew that your world is never going to be the same as it was when they were with you.

[kenzieam]

Moonstruck - Chapter One

@jewels2876​​​ @moonbeambucky​​​ @jeremyrennerfanxxxx123​​​ @iammarylastar​​​ @captstefanbrandt​​​ @badassbaker​​​ @pinknerdpanda​​​

I know I’m forgetting people, sorry.

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Warnings: Definitely M. Language, adult situations, smut and heartbreak. Potential violence.

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Okay, so ‘Blame It On The Moon’ spawned a sequel for itself, enjoy the ride and as always, I love feedback!

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 “Get over here, punk.”

Bucky smirked and stood. Using his shirt, he wiped his hand and stomach clean then kicked off his jeans, holding Lev’s stare with an almost insolent look on his face. Alpha male to the core, he swaggered towards the bed; a hungry, predatory yet somehow still teasing grin pulling at his lips.

He stopped at the edge of the mattress, lazily stroking his rapidly re-hardening cock and, as Lev licked her lips slowly in anticipation, his eyes darkened to black again.

“Get up.” He grunted.

Lev grinned knowingly up at him before rising and turning slowly on her hands and knees to face away from her lover. Steve sat up, watching, a little unsure of his place in this new dance or if he was still even invited.

Bucky stroked a fingertip along the curve of Lev’s ass, gazing down at her like she was a prize before lifting his head to meet Steve’s eyes. “Get in front of her.” He ordered.

Even through the haze of her lust, Lev recognized the dynamics at play. Steve was always the boss, always the one everyone looked to for guidance and leadership, always the one who made the decisions that determined people’s fates. For over seventy years, Bucky had had no autonomy over his own body, forced to obey, frozen and wiped whenever his humanity broke through; now, here, together, they could let go of that. Steve was willfully submissive, freely following another’s orders, while Bucky was finally the one calling the shots.

He’d been dominant in bed with Lev before, and they enjoyed a mixed relationship; sometimes Bucky was content to lay back and let Lev be the aggressor, other times Levi would be the one to submit but bringing another into the mix was new; something they’d discussed at random intervals, usually while laying sated and sweat-soaked after a powerful, mutual release and Lev’s skin goose-bumped with delicious anticipation. There’d been a frantic air to their first encounter, a fevered rush to completion, now they could go slower, learn and explore.

Lev wiggled her ass, grinning at the low growl it drew from the man behind her and raised her gaze to Steve, now kneeling in front of her. He watched with barely banked anticipation, having a fairly good idea of what Bucky was planning and reveling in the wait.

“He tasted you, baby; you want to return the favour?” Bucky’s voice was low.

“Mmmm-hmmm.” Lev held Steve’s gaze, licking her lips and Steve couldn’t help but stroke himself to relieve some of the building pressure.

“You want me to fuck you while you do?”

Lev inhaled sharply, nodding her head.

“What about you? You want to feel her lips wrapped around your cock?”

“Fuck, yeah.”

“Language.” Lev chastised gently as she leaned forwards, gripping Steve’s shaft and flicking one more quick glance up at him before closing her eyes and drawing him in. As her wet mouth closed over the head Steve jolted, letting out a ragged groan and dropping his head back.

“Watch this, Stevie.” Bucky called, his voice soft but commanding and Steve opened his eyes, watching as Bucky drove forwards sharply, filling Lev with one relentless thrust. She moaned around the stretch, the vibrations from her throat travelling up Steve’s cock and drawing out a fresh groan. His teeth clenched and he watched through slitted eyes as Bucky started to thrust, holding Lev’s hips in a bruising grip.

“Fuck-” Bucky grunted, just as Steve let out a low moan, shuddering. Lev’s mouth was fucking magic, her hand taking over where he was simply too big for her to take his full length and then she let go of his shaft and cupped his sack and a white hot flare of ecstasy shot up his spine.

Bucky watched with satisfaction, slamming into Lev from behind, splitting his attention from watching his cock disappear inside her body and watching Lev work Steve’s cock, knowing from the man’s expressions that Lev was treating him to her full abilities.

He wasn’t going to last long, Bucky was sure of it, but then neither was he, watching his lover get spit-roasted like this, knowing this was only the beginning; the love they were making here was too special and intense to not be repeated over and over again, night after night.

Steve let out a particularly wrecked groan, body shuddering heavily again and curled his fingers into Lev’s hair, anchoring her in place as his hips started to move.

“She’s doing… that thing with her tongue, isn’t she?” Bucky grunted, knowing exactly what Lev was spoiling Steve with now, an especially luscious move that never failed to throw him completely over the edge.

“Fuck-” was all the Captain managed before his eyes rolled back in his head then he was shuddering, full-body convulsing as he came, spurting sweetly down Lev’s throat while she moaned in pleasure, swallowing every heavy pulse.

She pulled away, downing the last mouthful while holding Steve’s gaze as he panted and shivered with aftershocks, reaching out with one shaking hand to cup her face, watching rapt as Bucky drove her higher and higher.

“You’re so fucking hot,” he growled, rubbing his thumb along her bottom lip, catching a tiny bit of his cum that she’d missed and pushing it back into her mouth. He looked up at Bucky, who was watching him with a wicked grin on his flushed face.

“Give it to her, Buck. She’s been a good girl.” Steve growled.

He leaned forwards, capturing her mouth in a heated, claiming kiss while one hand snaked under to cup and knead at her breasts then Bucky reached around to press on her clit as he continued to drive into her and Lev succumbed to the onslaught, whimpering a sharp cry that Steve swallowed as he devoured her mouth, her walls clenching around Bucky’s cock; he stopped fighting as well, letting out a roar as he gave into his powerful release, spilling his seed in heavy throbs deep inside Lev as Steve fucked his tongue into her mouth, extended her climax until she collapsed boneless between them, panting for breath and barely conscious.  

Withdrawing slowly from her body, Bucky sank beside her, his chest to her back while Steve dropped the other way, facing Lev, burrowing his head into her abdomen, wrapping his arms around her middle. Lev’s tangled hair tickled his belly, her panting breaths hot on his abdomen and it was all Steve could do to press a kiss to her sweat-gleaming stomach before he gave into the irresistible draw of peaceful sleep.

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Lev grimaced, freezing in place as her hand drifted to her abdomen, closing her eyes until the wave of nausea finally disappeared, swaying slightly as she gathered her bearings again, rethinking the fresh cup of coffee she’d just poured into her favourite mug.

Behind her, she heard another enter the kitchen area and straightened, erasing any traces of shakiness from her face before turning and pouring herself a glass of water instead. Before she could lift the glass to her lips, however, a pair of strong arms wrapped around her from behind and a heavy head nestled into the crook of her neck, lips brushing along her pulse point as their owner spoke.

“Good morning, baby.” Steve murmured, nuzzling his nose into her hair.

Lev shivered, muffling a giggle. “Morning, handsome.”

“I thought I was ‘handsome’.” Bucky replied, appearing from around the corner, a lazy grin on his face. His shirt was plastered to his skin with sweat, the bandana headband he wore holding back soaking-wet hair. Steve was in a similar state, both men having left Lev earlier that morning for a run, leaving her to continue sleeping, tangled in the sheets they’d dirtied the night before. He frowned at the full cup of coffee on the counter, recognized Lev’s mug and lifted it to his mouth, downing half in one huge swallow.

“You both are.” Lev murmured, her giggles spilling out as Steve nibbled behind her ear.

What had started as a drunken rendezvous, a mead-fuelled dare, had become reality. For the last two months, Lev had found herself in a committed relationship with not one, but two super-soldiers. She’d already been Bucky’s, but they’d adopted Steve with surprising easiness into their little family.

It was a unique set-up. Bucky and Steve shared Lev between them, but thus far showed little interest in exploring any intimacy between each other. Lev didn’t care either way, it would only add another facet to their incredible chemistry if Bucky and Steve ever decided to play with each other instead of devoting their attentions to Lev, and if they never did, that was fine too. She enjoyed being the sole recipient of their appetites.

“Do I stink?” Bucky asked playfully, wrapping Lev in a bearhug, making sure to rub his sweaty body against her, laughing when she shrieked in indignation. Her stomach roiled afresh, and Lev realized the very real possibility that she might just puke down the front of him.

“Yes! Let me go!” She squirmed but Bucky refused to release her until he’d nuzzled his face into her throat, tickling her with messy kisses, grinning madly when she was finally able to stagger away from him, primly pissed. “Asshole.” She accused politely, smoothing her hair.

“You love me.”

“I’m starting to wonder why.”

Steve snorted into his coffee, choking and gasping as it dripped down the cupboard in front of him and trickled from his nose.

“Dammit, that burns.” He grumbled, pawing at his nose like a big, bewildered bear and throwing Bucky a baleful eye. “Quit needling my girl.”

“Your girl?”

“Whose name was she screaming last night?”

This was a common argument between them, no real heat involved, just gentle teasing. In reality, Lev had been screaming both of their names at some point last night, but that was neither here nor there. The point was the gentle flirting and the shivers it still brought. Sam usually just snorted and rolled his eyes, lamenting that he was going to get diabetes with ‘all the damn sugar around here’, Clint would make a big show of turning down his hearing aids and Nat would usually just turn up the TV.

Steve’s inclusion into Lev and Bucky’s relationship had been met with unexpected chill. Weirder things happened daily around the Tower and the banked sexual tension around Lev and Steve had been a topic of conversation many a night amongst the others, the question raised as to whether Bucky would one day be forced to kill Steve, or bring him into the circle.

“Go have a shower, both of you.” Lev ordered, pointing a finger out of the kitchen. “I’ve had enough of your shit already and the day’s just begun.” She swallowed heavily at a fresh wave of nausea and this time Bucky noticed, ignoring her order and moving closer, all teasing gone.

“Baby, you okay?” His hand cradled her face, cool to her flush and she leaned into it gratefully. Steve appeared at Bucky’s shoulder, taking her hand and frowning.

“Sweetheart?” Steve breathed, glancing at Bucky before returning his forlorn gaze to her.

“This has been going on for a few days, you should go see Dr. Cho.” Bucky continued.

Lev held back a grimace. The last place she wanted to go was the medical floor; Bucky’s thumb was gentle as it stroked her cheekbone.

“Please.” He added.

Lev met his eye, ready to huff in exasperation at his drama but stopped when she got a good look at him. There was real pleading in his eyes, genuine worry and Lev felt her chest cleave a little. Bucky wasn’t bossy, he wasn’t needlessly dominant, insisting on total obedience, for him to push this meant real concern on his part.

Lev was going to have to 86 her aversion to doctors. Cho was nothing like those monsters from HYDRA, neither were Banner or Stark and enhanced people didn’t get sick like the average bear, therefore Lev needed to figure out why.

“Okay.” She acquiesced, the corner of her mouth lifting when Bucky exhaled heavily in relief and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

“Thank you.”

“I’m fine to go myself. You guys shower.”

The men glanced at each other, brows raised as they silently debated the pros and cons of disobeying when they’d only just persuaded Lev to go.

“Cho will chase you out.” Lev reminded them. “She likes things clean.”

Cho’s rage wasn’t something to be taken lightly, not when she was one of the few able to treat a team as varied and unique as theirs and Steve nodded in concession, reaching over to pull Bucky along with him and they soundlessly disappeared around the corner of the kitchen.

Lev waited a few beats, then sighed and stepped towards the elevator.

As she walked, she let her mind wander, her body moving on autopilot. What could the problem possibly be?

“FRIDAY? Medical floor, please.”

“Yes, Ms. Riel.”

The elevator descended soundlessly, and Lev leaned against the wall, crossing her arms. She was enhanced but the serum HYDRA had used differed from what had been given to Steve, even what Bucky had been subjected to. Neither man so far had demonstrated the susceptibility to normal human ailments, but maybe they were finally finding the limits of Lev’s serum. The possibilities grew grimmer and more dire as she drew closer to the right floor.

Some internal injury, gained during rough training or even her last mission? She’d not emerged unscathed but thought she’d healed normally. Was it something malignant, bypassing her super immune system and even now spreading insidious tentacles through her body? There was no way she was anything predictable like pregnant, for the last two years, since she’d been recruited, joined the team and become Bucky’s lover, she’d been given a special birth control injection regularly.

Banner and Cho had developed it exclusively for her, tailored singularly for her unique metabolism and it had been working properly. Since she’d begun the shot, she and Bucky had never used any form of protection and made love with a frequency and hunger beyond anything a normal human could muster or maintain, and she’d never encountered this before.

No, there was no explanation, and Lev felt fingers of cold dread tickle up her spine as the elevator doors slid open and she entered the lab.

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“Wait, what?” Lev knew she looked ridiculous with her mouth hanging open but Jesus.

Cho shook her head slowly, studying the tablet in her hand. She was no more able to swallow this than Lev, but the results didn’t lie. Looking back up at Lev she shrugged helplessly. “I ran the test four times…. You’re pregnant, Lev.”

[jmsebastian]

Vampire Hunter D’s Lone Video Game Adaptation

When people talk about PlayStation era 3D games being hard to go back to, Vampire Hunter D is the one I most often think about. Something of an alternate timeline version of the Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust animated film, the game has you play as the vampire hunter, himself. Throughout the adventure, you explore the castle Chaythe to rescue a woman, Charlotte, from having been kidnapped by the vampire lord, Meier Link. I say it’s an alternate history because while the general plotting of the film (itself an adaptation of the third novel in Hideyuki Kikuchi’s series), the events of the game take place entirely within Chaythe, whereas only the last act of the film is set there.

The decision to condense the story to all take place within the castle is a brilliant move and makes for an interesting and thematically consistent setting. You work your way from room to room, finding items and solving puzzles to open up more of the castle to explore. All the while you must slay or evade enemies that stand in your path and battle the occasional boss. If any of this sounds familiar, it should. It’s the formula for the classic survival series, Resident Evil.

Vampire Hunter D does its best to disguise itself as a survival horror game. It has pretty much all the staples. There’s the spooky mansion setting, the keys and puzzles, the backtracking through areas to open previously inaccessible locations. There are pre-rendered backgrounds and static camera angles. Last and for many, definitely least, there are tank controls.

My feeling is that tank controls are perfectly fine for survival horror games where the player has no control over the camera. It makes sense that your directional movement would be absolute rather than depend upon the view of whatever area you happen to be in. The drawback, of course, is that precision movement is difficult and you often move a bit slower because it takes time for your character to turn to face whatever direction you want to go.

Vampire Hunter D is not a survival horror game. It’s an action adventure game. It’s an action adventure game with platforming, fast paced melee combat, and plenty of ways to keep yourself fighting fit in the form of consumable items. None of these things are made easier by way of tank controls and they are, by far, the biggest barrier to entry for players who might have otherwise really taken to the game. All it takes is getting stuck against a wall while being wailed on by an enemy or missing a jump due to a poor camera angle to sour the overall experience.

The game seems to be aware of just how inappropriate tank controls were as well, as other aspects of the game seem to exist purely to compensate for the movement. The platforming I mentioned earlier rarely has you leaping over dangerous gaps. Even the instances that do only set you back a few seconds or reset the current room with no penalty to your health points. Really, most of the time you just need to hop onto a box or a knee high ledge, which kind of makes you wonder why they bothered including it.

Tank controls really have their limitations in the combat. To compensate, by default, you lock onto the nearest enemy when you draw your sword. This alters your movement a bit as pressing left or right will have you circle around your target in that direction rather than having you turn your body to face that direction. This works fairly well in rooms that provide good visibility and aren’t too cramped, but can be pretty useless in tight hallways or if you're trying to work around more than one enemy at a time. Again, the developers at Victor Entertainment Software seem to have been aware of these limitations and generally limit the places where you face multiple enemies to specific sections of the game, many of which you can just run past if you need to. It’s no surprise that the bosses are all fought in more open rooms where you have ample room to run around, side step, and circle around while locked on.

It’s a shame that tank controls were what we were given. I understand why it was designed the way it was, but if any game could have been improved by having more standard 3D movement enabled, it would be this one. Perhaps most amusing is that there is analog support, but like Resident Evil, all it really does is map the tank controls to the analog stick rather than give you true freedom of movement we’ve become accustomed to over time. I have plenty of complaints about the movement in Devil May Cry, but something like that would have been a huge improvement over what ended up in the game.

While the movement controls may be frustrating during combat, the mechanics around combat are actually where Vampire Hunter D shines the most and why I think it’s a game worth exploring despite its shortcomings. Being half vampire, D’s prowess depends upon having a steady supply of blood. That vampire power is represented by the VP bar under your HP.. Overtime, your VP depletes and causes your attack power to drop and your magical abilities to weaken. You can recover VP in two ways: consume blood capsules that you find throughout the castle or be splashed with the blood of enemies you strike with your sword.

I love this idea because it provides incentive to engage in combat when you would otherwise be tempted to just run past as many enemies as possible. If you avoid fighting, you have to consume blood capsules. While they aren’t exactly in short supply on the normal difficulty, they are best served for boss fights or other tough enemies so that you can recover some health and your VP and deal as much damage as possible.

It’s not as balanced as it really should be, unfortunately. Your VP drains at a pretty slow rate, but it’s also hard to get back up to a high level through the blood splashes alone. It would have been interesting to have the meter drain more quickly, but also refill more quickly, adding a bit of urgency to the game and really encouraging you to take down any monsters you come across.

A similar mechanic is used for D’s magic abilities, which are made possible thanks to the parasite that lives within his left hand. There is an option to heal, an attack based magic that surrounds enemies and drains them of health, and the ability to absorb the souls of enemies. That soul absorption replenishes your magic meter, so while you want to refill your VP with sword strikes, you also want to make sure you inhale as many enemies into Left Hand as possible as well.

Again, this is a mechanic designed specifically to encourage killing the monsters in the castle and it’s a perfectly reasonable goal for an action game. Unfortunately, it has a bit of an opposite effect as absorbing enemies is not a guarantee and you’re likely to take damage when attempting it since you need to be in close proximity for it to work. If you try it and you can’t absorb one, you’ll almost certainly take a hit that would have otherwise been avoidable. It’s a shame the VP and magic replenishing systems weren’t all that complementary as the intent behind them really has a lot of merit and offers a glimpse at what could have been complex and satisfying combat mechanics.

If you know what you’re doing, Vampire Hunter D is a fairly short game with a fair bit of replay value, as there are three endings you can achieve depending on a handful of choices you can make. I find the story to be one of the more compelling things about the game. It’s told through standard in-engine cutscenes and they’re acted fairly well (several of the actors from Bloodlust reprise their roles). Your enjoyment of that probably largely depends on whether or not you’re already a fan of the Vampire Hunter D source material or your feelings on sci-fi action horror in general, but there’s a lot to like about it.

I feel a bit bad for those who just aren’t able to enjoy older games due to feeling archaic. I can’t really defend the issues Vampire Hunter D has, as there are legitimate limitations and design choices that make the game frustrating at times. However, I also don’t want it to be dismissed as an old game not worth playing. You can tell just how much the people who made it really seemed to care about making it true to the Vampire Hunter D series. It’s about as faithful a video game adaptation as could be and one well worth spending some time with.

[fyrecrafted]

Knitting (Tom x Reader Fic)

A few weeks ago you found out that you and Tom were expecting your first child. The excitement you both had could light up an entire city. You both planned on waiting until after your first trimester, the most dangerous and common time to miscarriage, to make this new public... but Tom is fucking adorable and spoiled the news in an unexpected way. 

Tom loved your passion for making things. He had, on more than one occasion, shown off socks you had made him during interviews. It had become a joke with a few of the late night shows whenever he came on.  The day you started to suspect that something was amiss he went to the store and got the test. You both paced back and forth as you waited for the results. Every few seconds he would go stare at it, then come back. When the phone timer finally beeped he flashed by into the bathroom and squealed in delight. He ran to you and spun you around giggling like a kid. It took you a few minutes to get over the shock, but soon you were as excited as he was.   

   He later came to you carrying all the reusable grocery bags you both owned and a mischievous grin on his face.  “C'mon babe! I have an idea!” You would rather nap, but his energy was contagious and motivated you enough to get up off the couch.  

    “Okay, but I need to change. Im still in my pajamas.” He walked around you, checking you out.  “You look amazing to me. I don't care if you want to wear this out, but if you want to change, I'll wait.” 

  “If I wear this, I'm wearing my kitty cat slippers with it... so at least it will match.”

  “Lovely idea.” 

  You got in the car and buckled up as he put the bags in the back seat and then got in to the driver's seat. Every few seconds he glanced over at you and beamed. You were still nervous about all this, but you didn't want to spoil his joy. So many things could go wrong at this point and knowing this ate at you, you wanted this so bad... but... things happen... You just didn't want to get all hopeful that something you had wanted since childhood was happening, and then it just... not happen.

  “Don't you think its a bit early?” You asked as he drove through the streets.  

  He looked up at the sky through the windshield “Its already early evening, not very early at all.” he responded, seeming confused.

  “No. I mean...” you  sighed and he pulled over into an empty parking space. He turned to you and put a hand on your shoulder. 

“Are you alright?” 

  “yeah... Im just”

“Hon, if something isn't right you have to let me know. If you're not ready, its okay. Don't let my excitement make you feel like you need to go through something if you're not ready for it.”  

“No, it... it isn't that.” 

“Then what?” He caressed your face then put his hand behind your head and placed his forehead onto yours. “What's wrong, love?” 

 “Its so early. Things could go wrong. I could lose our baby at any moment. Even without anything happening. Fuck, Tom... there's a chance I already did and wouldn't even know yet. I'm so scared.” He pulled back and stared into your eyes, his face falling as your anxiety hit him. He bear hugged you as best as he could from across the center console.    

“I didn't even consider that. I got completely wrapped up in my own excitement. Ugh. I... I don't even know” He sat back in his seat, his hand massaging his forehead. “I don't know if this helps any, but... yeah I know how risky this part is, the statistics and stuff. In my head I'm already... fuck I doubt this is gonna come out right.” 

  “What?” you say as the tears of your pent up nervousness finally broke free  

“If something bad happens, at least this early.” He sighed and fought to say what he meant “I'm not okay with it, but I have already made peace with the possibility. There is no pressure on you, from me at least for this to go a certain way. If we have to try again, even a few times I'm okay with that. I know this whole process will be completely different from your perspective. Please tell me how you're feeling so I know how best to care for you, both of you.”

  “Okay.” you reply through snuffles and tears. He handed you a tissue and waited for you to let him know how to proceed. “It does help me a lot to know you feel like that. I'm still scared though. I'm so scared, that I don't want to let myself even get excited or want this too much.” 

  “What do you want to do? We can go back home and order pizza and relax if you want. No pressure. This was all a spur of the moment thing because I got excited.” 

  “Not, not if this is baby shopping stuff. I can't deal with that yet. Please.” 

  “It isn't exactly that. I guarantee you want to go where I was planning, but you may change the 'why' we are going if you want. It can be a 'me spoiling you a bit' thing if you like.”  

“I'm confused.”

“Do you want me to go ahead and tell you, or should it be a surprise?”

“Uh, you pick I guess.”

“Mkay, surprise it is then.” his voice had picked back up, but there was still an edge of reservation to it.  A few minutes passed. “close your eyes, dear.” You did. If it had been anyone else, this gentle command would have sent your anxiety reeling, but with him, somehow... it just felt okay.    

The car drove on for a minute or two more and pulled to a stop and parked. “Okay love, open your eyes.” You squealed in delight when you realized where you were. Right outside the huge crafts supply store you loved. “You said a few times that you wanted to make baby stuff as soon as you found out you were expecting. But if you aren't okay with that just get what you want for yourself.” 

  “What about both?”  

“Both is perfectly perfect dear.” He said with that glowey look he gets as he helped you out the car and grabbed you both a cart.    

“What if I get carried away again?”

“If I have to call a rental moving truck to get everything home, I will...” He chuckled, though you were pretty sure he wasn't joking.  

As soon as you entered the shop you went straight for the textiles section.  You had so many ideas, and without a budget to adhere to, you kinda threw stuff in the cart as soon as ideas popped into your head. The first few times Tom brought you here you had only bought a few things. You didn't want to be a bother, or feel like you were wasting his hard earned money. This frustrated him, so one time he followed you around, and grabbed whatever you longingly looked at but put back. Every. Single. Thing. You ended up going home with more crafts stuff that day than you probably had across your entire life. It was his way of begging you to allow him to spoil you, and it worked.    

You quickly lost track of your hubby, but didn't really notice. He texted you “You okay? We got a bit split up.” 

  “Yeah. I'm a bit worn out. Home and pizza?” 

  “Darling, you know I never say no to pizza... Want me to pull up the car and you go ahead and checkout?”

  “That works”

“Mkay”    

You snaked your way through the aisles towards the checkout, purchased the supplies, bagged them and wheeled the cart out to the car. Tom was waiting and quickly grabbed several bags and put them in the back seat. He was a bit slower with the rest, oddly enough. 

  “In a hurry hubbs?”

  “Pizza is involved.” he responded as he packed the last few bags and took the cart back inside. You got in the car and buckled up. When he came out you couldn't help but notice that glimmer of 'I'm very much up to something' in his eyes. He noticed you looking at him and quickly that impish glint flickered away. Professionally trained to hide mischief face...    

When you got home he asked for you to call in your standard pizza order while he brought everything in. The second trip he made to the car took considerably longer than the first. Just as you began to worry that something had happened, he came in.  

“Tom, is that a Loki sticker on your head?” He burst out laughing, put down the bags, pulled off the sticker and stuck it onto the refrigerator.    

“Yeah, a little girl recognized me outside and said they had to give Loki their sticker. It was adorable. Their mum wanted an autograph too and I ended up chatting a bit. Did you get the call in for pizza?”  

“Mhm. Should be a few more minutes.” 

  “Got any ideas for what to watch?”

  “Yeah, but its silly... we have seen it several times...”

  “Does it happen to star a certain actor we both intimately know?”

  “Yeeeeeah...”  

“Which one? Also its not silly. I am a fabulous actor and you like watching me and snuggling me at same time, and its fucking adorable.” the hint of glee and faux diva he added to his voice made you chuckle a bit.  

“I was thinking of watching The Night Manager again.”

  “Excellent choice. I hear that one of the producers may have a nice ass...” You gently elbow him and slap the referred to 'nice ass'. One thing led to another, and before you realized it, you were standing behind the main door, full on making out. His tongue invading every crevice of your mouth, his hands groped you all over. You returned these touches in kind. You both filled the room with moans until you remembered the pizza delivery person would be arriving soon. You pulled back and looked up at your tall husband. His eyes were dreamy and far away as they stared down at you. You looked down further and realized how much you had 'effected' him.   

A whimper from near your feet drew both of your attention. The cats and Bobby had been staring at the both of you for a bit. “I'll feed them and you get the pizza when it comes?” You ask him and he nods, still a bit stuck in the heat of the earlier moment. The doorbell rings as you fill the furballs' bowls. 

“OH MY GOD ITS TOM HIDDLESTON.” came from the other side of the door.

“Yes, it is.” He chuckled a bit.  

“My boss didn't tell me who I was delivering to, they just grinned and gave the order and address. I know its, like, completely unprofessional, but, like, can I please have your autograph?” You grabbed a sharpie and a piece of paper on your way to the door and handed them to Tom.    

“Of course. How would you like it made out?” Tom asked  

“Oh, I don't really care. I'm just a bit...” they squealed and tried hard to fight for composure. Tom wrote out a short note and signed it. He paid for the pizza and handed the pizza to you. 

“Hey, I know its a bit much to ask for, but can I have a selfie with you?”  

“Sorry, but we have a policy to not do pictures around the house. I hope you understand. If I see you another time, perhaps we can take pictures together then?”  

“Yeah, no, I get it. Totally cool. Thank you so much for being nice and the note and stuff already.” 

“No problem. Have a good night.” Tom ended the conversation as he closed the door.  

“You're gonna go there tomorrow aren't you...” Tom had a habit of going out of his way to be sweet to people.  

“Oh dear, you know me all too well.”  

A bit later you were both snuggled together on the couch, eating pizza, and watching The Night Manager together. He absentmindedly started rubbing your lower abdomen, but stopped short. “Is this alright?” He didn't want you to get anxious again about the baby.  

“Its fine” you reply as you snuggle even closer to him, your head on his chest and the sound of his heartbeat in your ear. The safety and comfort you felt began to lull you to sleep as the first episode ended.   

“Babe, I really need to pee.” He shifted uncomfortably until you untangled from him. He got up quickly and left the room.  

“Actually I should probably do the same.” you got up and waited for him to finish. After you finished you went back to the couch but he wasn't there. Rustling emanated from the other room, and soon Tom came in carrying one of the bags from earlier. He plopped down on the couch beside you and thought for a moment.  “Uh, if you're not okay with this right now just let me know, okay?” He asked.

“Alright. Whatcha got there babe?” 

  “I kinda...” He started pulling out yarn and a 'learn to knit' kit. “I wanted to know if you would teach me so I could make stuff for the baby too.” His cheeks blushed because he worried about your reaction.  

“Of course I'll teach you.” The show played in the background as you both knitted. You would show him a step, he would practice, and you would show him another step. He started with a basic stocking stitch scarf. You figured that would teach him quite a bit without being too complicated. He was soon making consistent progress and you were both able to get back into the show without him needing much help.    

Several weeks later he was away from home to film a part for an upcoming movie. The internet was flooded with paparazzi photos of Tom Hiddleston knitting baby booties and a cap. Speculation soared about whether the actor was about to become a first time father.

[pl-dubois]

Just... Happy - Nolan Patrick

A/N: hoooooooly shit hi!! i’m finally back with another fic lmao took me long enough. realistically, i should’ve posted this fic (when was the stadium series??)  a month ago but i didn’t so i’m doing it now! this was really fun to write and i think it’s rly cute and i hope you guys do too! feedback and comments are always welcome!! Word Count: 2022

Glancing at the clock, you saw it was already 8pm and groaned loudly to yourself.  You were supposed to be at home, watching the start of the Stadium Series game that your boyfriend and his team had been excited about since it was announced.  But instead you were here, stuck behind some car that was going even slower than they needed in order to teach you a lesson about being impatient.  All you wanted to do was curl up on your couch, watch the game, and not move until Nolan got home.  You pressed down on the gas pedal a little harder, trying to send a message to the driver you were following to hurry the fuck up.  Fortunately, you were only about 5 minutes from home, but unfortunately, the car in front of you made the journey feel like an eternity.  At this rate, you hoped you would only miss the anthem and starting lineups, not puck drop.

As if your day couldn’t get any worse, the vehicle you were following decided it was a great idea to slow down even further to piss you off more than you already were.  It was bad enough that you had to work, but that was just the icing on the cake.  Letting out an angry shout, you hit your steering wheel and quickly managed to regain your composure after taking a few deep breaths, but even the thought of work alone made you beyond angry.  It was the reason that you weren’t able to see Nolan play in person tonight.  You had tried to take the day off weeks ago, even argued with your boss about it when he denied your request, but eventually had to give up the fight at the threat of losing your job.  

The car in front of you slowed to turn and you sighed in relief, finally being able to speed just a little to ensure you got home in time.  Soon enough, you were pulling into your building’s parking garage and your next few minutes went by in a blur.  One minute you were getting out of your car about to sprint up to your apartment, and the next you were settled on your couch in more comfortable clothes with the game on.

You knew it was going to be a good eventful game from the moment you sat down.  However, when the first of many scrums broke out early in the first, you got up to pour yourself a glass of wine; it was the Flyers and the Pens, you were going to need to do a little self-medication.  After sitting back down, you then proceeded to experience a rollercoaster of emotions as the game progressed:  booing whenever the Penguins scored, cheering when your boys scored, almost spilling your wine when you gasped and covered your mouth in shock and worry when Nolan got hit, shouting “That was hot, Nols,” at your TV when your boyfriend delivered the retaliation check back, and disappointment when you thought the boys couldn’t get the lead back.  

Fortunately, you were wrong.

You were on your third glass of wine, and had finished just about half of it, when Jake came in hot and tied the game.  This time, when you jumped up to cheer, your wine went with you.

“Fuck!” you exclaimed, your excitement getting cut short.  Running to grab paper towels, you mumbled to yourself,  “Oh my God, please don’t set in the floor, please not the floor.”  Thankfully, you got to the spill before the red stained the hardwood and managed to clean up the mess before the break for overtime had ended, which meant you could be stressed out while watching the game again.  Both teams had played well, and both teams had been very aggressive, but now it was down to the wire.  You thought you were on edge when you started biting your nails as overtime began, but when Nolan took to the ice, your increasing heart rate told you otherwise.  Your eyes were glued to the TV screen with rapt attention, hope and nervous energy filling your body.  And then, just like that, the game was over.

“CAPTAIN CLUTCH!!!” you jumped up, laughing and shrieking with joy.  “Oh my God, and Nolan with the primary assist!”  You sighed, relieved, and flopped back onto the couch with another laugh.  You had to go out to meet the boys now, there was no doubt about it.  

You stuck around for the first bit of the post game, but ultimately gave up, knowing you’d hear all about it from the boys anyway.  Sending TK a quick text inquiring about after game plans, you changed out of your lounge clothes and did a little bit of light makeup.  After putting in a request for an Uber, the buzzing of your phone told you that Teeks had gotten back to you.  Laughing at his ridiculous use of emojis, you slipped on your shoes and went down to wait for your driver.

You arrived at the address TK had sent you in good spirits.  Thanking your driver, you made your way inside the crowded venue looking for your boys.  The smell of alcohol and sweat was almost overpowering and you had already lost count of how many people bumped into you just as you tried to make your way away from the entrance.  You scanned the crowd for a bit, looking for any familiar faces, until finally Travis and Ivan fell into your line of sight.  Silently thanking the amount of wine already in your system, you braved the mass of people to make your way over to the pair.  Sidling up to Teeks, you grinned at Ivan and raised your voice above the blaring music.  “Did I miss anything big?”

“Y/N!” Travis exclaimed, turning and wrapping you up in a giant hug.  “You’re here!”

“I am!” you laughed, worming away to give Ivan a quick hello hug as well.  “Sorry I couldn’t be there in person, guys.”

“Uh no, don’t even,” TK waved you off, letting arm rest on your shoulders, “you’re here now and that’s all that matters.”

“Okay, okay fine,” you laughed, glancing around.  “Wait, have you guys seen Nolan?”

The only response you got was Ivan pointing behind you with a smile.  Turning around, you met the gaze of your boyfriend who was quickly making his way over to you.  You met him halfway and with a huge grin, he pulled you into his arms in a hug that caused your feet to lift off the ground.  He spun you just a little, and you laughed and poked him in the back as best you could.  “Nolie, put me down!”

Your request was granted, but as soon as you were back on the floor, Nolan’s large frame bent over yours and captured your lips in a breathtaking, passionate kiss.  You felt the sounds of the venue fade away as you were lost in the feeling of Nolan and Nolan alone.  You pulled him ever closer, threading your fingers through the soft hair at the nape of his neck, the familiar taste and smell of him causing you to finally relax after a stress filled day.

After what felt like an eternity, you finally pulled away from each other.  The kiss itself left you lightheaded and you had to steady yourself by clinging to your chuckling boyfriend.  Looking up again, you met Nolan’s eyes as he grinned down at you.

“Hi there,” he said, giving you a light squeeze where his hands were resting on your hips.

“Hey, handsome,” you beamed in return, sliding your hands across his shoulders and letting them rest on his chest.  “Someone’s in a good mood.  Wonder why that is.”

His only response to your words was a laugh and an even bigger smile.  Momentarily forgetting you were in a public space, you reached up to caress Nolan’s cheek and raised yourself up onto your tiptoes to return the loving kiss he had greeted you with earlier.

But just as Nolan had pulled your body flush against his and deepened the kiss, you heard someone clear their throat behind you.

“Okay, lovebirds.  I definitely think that’s enough,” Travis laughed as Nolan quickly pulled away and straightened up.  You felt your face go hot; you already knew that the flush in your cheeks mirrored his own.

“Sorry,” Nolan smiled sheepishly over your shoulder at his friends behind you, tucking a strand of hair behind his ear.  Taking a small step backward, to put a little distance between the two of you, he met your gaze once again.  Even in the low lighting, he was absolutely stunning.

“I’m really glad you decided to come out,” he said, just loud enough for you to hear. “I missed you tonight.”

“I missed you to, Nol,” you frowned, remembering once again that you hadn’t gotten to see him play in person. “I’m so sorry I couldn’t make it…”

He was quick to wave off your apology.  “Don’t even worry about it.  You’re here with me now.”  Looking down at you, his eyes were filled with so much love and adoration, you could’ve melted right where you stood.  You just nodded in response with a small smile before leaning up to press your lips to his once again, briefly but sweetly.  

“Congrats, baby,” you murmured when you broke apart, fingers playing with the ends of his hair.  “You deserved this.”

With a laugh and a fond shake of his head, your boyfriend all but swept you up in yet another electrifying kiss.  The way he moved his mouth against yours was intoxicating, but the alcohol already in your system was definitely playing a part in that as well.  As Nolan broke the kiss gently, he let his forehead rest against your own.

You let your eyes flutter closed as you just enjoyed the feeling of his warmth near you, sighing softly.

“You okay?” came Nolan’s voice, tinged with just a hint of worry.

“Yeah,” you opened your eyes again with a smile to meet his bright blue ones.  “Just… Really, really happy.”

“I love you so much,” he smiled softly, tracing light circles into your hips with his thumbs.  “I’m so lucky to have you.”

Before you had a chance to respond, Nolan suddenly straightened up and declared in realization,  “That’s it!  You’re my good luck charm!  You were watching, and we won.”

“Nol, I always watch your games,” you giggled at his dramatics.

“Well, yeah.  But this is different!”

Letting out a full laugh, you playfully gave him a little shove.  “Yeah, okay, Patrick.”  You glanced around you looking for the friends that had been teasing you earlier, but were now nowhere to be seen.  

“I think we grossed Teeks and Ivan out,” you joked with a grin, taking Nolan’s hand and giving it a small squeeze.  “Shall we go find them?”

“Oh definitely,” he smiled in return, pressing a light kiss into your hair before leading you into the throng of people in attempt to locate the rest of his team.  The way he was being more open and smiley than usually made you wonder if he had gotten ahold of some alcohol, though the adrenaline of coming off of such a big win played a part as well. You knew the carefree, more laid-back side of Nolan from when the two of you were alone at home.  His mood tonight was infectious; a smile had never left either of your faces and it made you beyond happy to see him like that.   Gazing up at him, your heart was overflowing with love and you thought the butterflies in your stomach were going to somehow escape from you.  Even after being together for some time, you still felt the same way as you did at the beginning of your relationship.  Being with Nolan was easy; he loved you unconditionally and you loved him right back.  No matter what, you knew he’d be right by your side and you couldn’t be luckier to have found someone who understood and treated you as well as Nolan did.

[secret-diary-of-an-fa]

“Another Life” Review: Another Hour of Mine I Won’t Get Back

One of the good things about Netlix (particularly compared to traditional TV channels) is that its ability to deliver a wide variety of content simultaneously allows it to experiment with things that might not have wider appeal. This is particularly important where genre fiction is concerned, because you can’t rely on formula to develop something genuinely good in that area. Who’d have thought that a ‘cursed object’ story set exclusively in the art world where everyone talks like they’re delivering a devastating Gustav Klimt review would turn out to be one of the best horror movies of recent years? And yet Velvet Buzzsaw blew me away and gave me a reason not to give up on western culture completely. Likewise, who expected a revenge saga about classical music with (at most) one or two truly graphic scenes to be the most gut-wrenching and powerful psychological thrillers of recent years? Yet The Perfection was one of the only truly transcendent films I’ve ever had the privilege of watching. The same goes for series- it’s hard to imagine that an overwhelming blend of surreal and dystopian imagery, hard-to-grasp technological concepts, semi-obscure literary references, needlessly brutal violence, gleeful depravity, whip-smart humour and a borderline-sociopath with a Hello Kitty rucksack would ever be aired on a proper channel. Altered Carbon, however, turned out to be one of the best sci-fi series of the last decade, missing the top spot only thanks to the existence of Rick and Morty.

The reason I’ve started with all this gushing praise, however, is merely to provide context and a necessary counterbalance to the excoriating review that follows. For you see, an ability to deliver niche or experimental content can lead to abject failures as well as shining successes. For every underrated gem, there must be a meticulously-polished turd waiting to ambush the unsuspecting connoisseur. Ladies and gentlemen, Another Life is that turd.

On paper, Another Life sounds like good, solid sci-fi. A starship captain has to travel across the universe to ascertain whether an alien race that recently dropped probes on Earth is hostile or just curious. Along the way, her journey will be complicated by a crew who’s used to working under a different captain with a radically different style of leadership and all the usual, real-life-plausible dangers of travel through uncharted space (along with a few blatantly made-up ones). It’s not a terrible idea, but every bad creative decision that could be made is made and so the whole things collapses like a poorly-made soufle before the end of episode one.

For a start, let’s talk about the show’s aesthetics and visual decisions. the CG budget clearly wasn’t huge (which is fine), but the show tries to realise as many of its effects as possible using CG anyway, which stretches that minimal budget far too thin and draws attention to how artificial and contrived everything looks. For example, the decision to make the alien probes on Earth giant shimmering walls of crystal that can only be realised through CG is particularly baffling, given that they could just have been big fuck-off metal things that could have been physically built as a set. Meanwhile, the show‘s overall look is... well, bland. If you’ve seen literally any space sci-fi before, you’ve seen the individual elements of the tech in Another Life. I think it’s aiming for Archetypal, but it just looks lazy. It doesn’t help that they liberally borrow terminology from other sci-fi. I know that ‘Impulse Engine’ is technically (probably) the correct name for a slower-than-light engine that works in a particular way, but calling your space engines that just invites comparisons to Star Trek, which won’t be favourable. Back to the point, though: in addition to cribbing heavily from superior shows, Another Life also makes everything look far too smooth and clean. A spaceship is a working vehicle filled with people doing dangerous, difficult, often dirty jobs. Its interior shouldn’t look like an iPhone fucked a trendy west-end bar. Seriously, the ‘future’ set in fucking Crystal Maze looks more convincing.

The problem of everything seeming too smooth and clean extends beyond the visuals and into the casting. Practically everyone in the core cast is in their early twenties. They’re not bad actors, necessarily, but they clearly need older, more experienced hands around them to guide their performances and the absence of these more seasoned actors is felt acutely. There’s a reason why mature sci-fi shows usually cast across a broad age range- you’re asking your cast to deal with conceptual and scientific abstractions that can be challenging for people who don’t have a few performances under their belt. It also feels wildly implausible that a dangerous space-mission would feature a bunch of hormonal twenty-somethings who’s personal drama might get in the way of them making clever decisions. The main lass (whose name I’ve already forgotten), is played by a noticeably older woman. Indeed, that age difference is a big part of her character: can she win the trust and respect of the young hotheads? Unfortunately, one older actress does not a seasoned cast make. Besides, the character she’s playing just isn’t worth rooting for. It’s not that she’s a terrible person- she’s coldly aloof, but so was Picard and everyone loves that dude. It’s just that she has no depth. She has a family back on Earth, and we’re told that she’s missing them and trying to ensure the mission’s success so she can see them again, but the supposed internal conflict has no effect on her behaviour. She just goes about robotically calculating and minimising risk, even though doing so ensures that she’s going to be in space, away from her loved ones, for much, much longer. Within the narrative of the show, she’s making the correct, mature decisions, but shouldn’t they be causing her some introspective strife? No? Yes? Does this fucking show care one way or the other?

Of course, janky characters and budget set designs are kind of par for the cause with sci-fi of a certain type. Sometimes it can be endearing (the fact that the sets literally wobbled sometimes in early Doctor Who was part of its charm, for example). A much bigger problem is Another Life’s total lack of narrative logic. The main character (no I still can’t remember her name, nor be bothered to check) managed to get ten people killed the last time she was in charge of a starship. Surely that’s the point at which you politely ask someone to retire? Even if there were mitigating circumstances (which there probably were because showing fallibility in its lead is not something this show feels comfortable with), why on Earth would anyone put her in charge of a crew of emotional 20-somethings she’s never met before while their previous, trusted captain is still on the fucking ship and clearly feeling mutinous? That’s just bad management on behalf of planet Earth’s top brass. I can only hope that someone in HR got the sack for that one. Or, better yet, that a giant hammer will spontaneously fall out of the sky and hit this show’s script-writer so hard in the head that he loses control of his motor functions and bowels and is forced to retire to a convalescent home for the incontinent.

The captain’s own decision making processes are just as baffling as her bosses. There’s a bit where the crew figures out that they can get back on course and cut down on journey time by slingshotting around a slightly temperamental star using the same shielding they use when traveling at FTL (yeah- FTL space travel is a common thing in this universe, yet humans have somehow never met another alien race before- make of that what you will). They already tried to slingshot round the star once and were forced to abort and break orbit because of the strain on the ship. The plan has an 89% chance of success. The 11% chance of failure doesn’t equate to instant death or anything- logically, it just means the shield would fail and they’d have to break orbit again (because that’s what happened before: remember that we’ve already established that slingshotting around the star doesn’t do anything worse than rattle the ship and give everyone plenty of time to back off). For some reason, Captain Caution decides that the high chance of success, negligible risk of serious repercussions and massive potential benefits just aren’t good enough and vetoes the plan, thereby adding months to the voyage. Isn’t establishing whether the new, technologically superior alien neighbours are friendly or not something of a time-critical op, by the way? Naturally, the crew mutiny (under the leadership of the previous captain), try their plan and it fails miserable.

And there’s the final nail in the coffin for Another Life. It doesn’t play by its own rules. Its established that the FTL shields can’t use much power, because they’re on all the fucking time during FTL. It’s established that nothing particularly terrible happens when you try to slingshot round a star and have to abort. It’s established that combining those two facts to get a speed boost has an 89% chance of success. And yet, when the crew try it without the Captain’s express permission, bits of the ship start to explode, everything goes to shit and the vessel ends up in a decaying orbit around the sun, somehow drained of power. The show’s in such a hurry to show that it’s main character is right and correct and noble in everything she does that it forgets rules it laid down literally five minutes earlier.

The whole shoddy shebang has a weirdly patronising and conservative ethos. “Listen to your elders and official superiors”, it whispers smugly. “They always know best, even when they’re responsible for the deaths of ten or more people in the quite recent past. Don’t think for yourself. Don’t try to improve your situation. The old, safe ways of doing things are always best, even when they seem neurotic or unworkable.” It’s weird, because it’s the exact opposite problem that sci-fi normally has. Normally, sci-fi tries so hard to be forward-looking that you end up with a bunch of wide-eyed fuckwits trusting the power of friendship and love over a more measured, carefully-planned approach. Both sides of the coin are equally annoying since they involve sacrificing the internal logic of the fictional universe on the alter of Some Hack’s personal ethos. However, Another Life earns my full, unmitigated disapprobation, not just a mild slap on the wrist, because it doesn’t even bother to be a good sci-fi show before jumping into the message-mongering bullshit. Remember, all this shit is from episode one. My advice to those of you craving some hard space sci-fi is to re-watch Nightflyers instead. It’s weird as balls, well-scripted, has a properly-established set of hard sci-fi rules and there’s even a romantic subplot involving the hologramatic projection of a hideous mutant. Yeah. Go watch that instead. I think I might, too, come to think of it.

[yohanes-magic-circle]

Idol Distractions

(This is also on AO3 if you’d prefer to read it there. Hope you enjoy this light and fluffy YohaMaru one-shot!)

“Wow, there’s so many… I don’t know how you go finishin’ all of these.”

“I haven’t finished them all. Honestly, I haven't even played them all. I used to get through everything, but now I have practice after school, I’m falling behind.”

Hanamaru continued looking through the games on Yoshiko’s shelf, occasionally picking out one that she liked the sound of and looking at the cover art. “Ain’t that a problem?”

“I don’t mind,” Yoshiko replied. “I used to play so much because I didn’t have anything else to do. Back in middle school, I didn’t really… I wasn’t popular.”

“Oh…”

“It’s okay. I mean, sometimes I’ve got people to play with now!”

“Yeah. I won’t be any good, though,” Hanamaru fretted.

“You’ve got as much chance as any mortal when faced with the unholy gaming powers of Yohane!”

Hanamaru briefly turned to stick her tongue out at the fallen angel, before going back to browsing the shelves. “This is weird, zura. When I normally look at someone else’s shelves they’re full of books, and I can get talkin’ about the ones I know. But I don’t really know any games…”

“It doesn’t really matter what you pick – I can show you how to play it. Just go for whatever you like.”

At that point, Hanamaru picked up something that caught her eye – a largely white box, with colourful shapes and lots of English text, and a cute blue animal on the front. “Can we play this one?”

Trust you, Zuramaru, thought Yoshiko. She wasn’t going to refuse her, of course. “Sure, I’ll just have to set up the machine.” Yoshiko went over to the cupboard and came back with a dusty box, from which she pulled out a black machine and a couple of black controllers. She struggled to get it to work with her TV briefly, and was about to give up when she saw the screen fade to black, then turn white.

“Se~ga!” rang out the sound from the TV.

“Wooooow! Mirai zura!”

“It’s not the future, Zuramaru,” laughed Yoshiko. “This thing was my dad’s. It’s older than we are, they stopped making them before we were born.” Still, Yoshiko couldn’t help but smile as she saw the sparkle in Hanamaru’s eyes. She kind of wished she had the same sense of constant wonder at the modern world – to be totally fascinated by things most people found mundane.

“Yoshiko, what were we studyin’ in history class earlier?”

“Ancient Egypt,” replied Yoshiko.

“And how long ago did Ramesses rule?”

“About 3,000 years ago. What’s your point?”

“How old is that games machine?”

“Uh, I think it’s about 30 years old.”

“So people have been around for thousands of years without this, and we’re lucky enough to live in a time when it exists? Mirai, zura.”

“Yeah, I guess that’s true,” Yoshiko conceded, considering that perhaps their outlooks on the world were both strange. “So this one’s really easy to play – that little guy is Sonic, and he’s got to run along to the right. If you press any of the buttons, he’ll jump.”

“Okay! So I press this one an’… oh hey, is that a friend?”

“Zuramaru, no–!”

“Aaaah! What happened?”

“Sorry, I really should have explained that better. You ran into a bad guy.”

“So that’s it?” asked Hanamaru, sadly.

“Don’t worry, you’ll get another try. Just try to grab those spinning rings you see, they’ll protect you if you get hit. And when you see any of those robots, just jump on top of them.”

“Okay! So I run this way… zura?! Was that an animal in there?”

Hanamaru guided Sonic through the dangers of Green Hill Zone’s first act safely, albeit considerably slower than it could have been done. Yoshiko spent more time watching Maru’s face than the screen – she was so cute when she scrunched her face up in concentration, and even cuter when she panicked at Sonic’s speed through the tunnels.

“Hey, pass me the controller,” said Yoshiko as the second stage began. “I’m gonna show you a secret.” Within seconds, Sonic was smashing through a wall. Hanamaru asked how to do a roll on the ground, and then spent the rest of the stage rolling into every single wall she could find to see if it would break. She kept doing it in the third stage and was thrilled when she finally found one, even if it took a couple of attempts to break all the way through. It was a performance befitting an amateur gamer, but she was having a good time. Finally, she reached the last part of Green Hill Zone.

“Yoshiko! Who’s that?!” asked Hanamaru anxiously, as a man in a flying machine entered the screen with a huge wrecking ball.

“That’s Eggman, he’s the villain who put all the animals in the robots.”

“He’s scarin’ me. You fight him!”

Yoshiko had no choice as the pad was thrust into her hands before she could so much as utter a word of encouragement, she made quick work of the simple boss. “Hey, do you wanna play a game together? I’ve got Sonic 2, it’s just like this but we can both play.”

“Okay! But how do we both be Sonic?”

“No, he’s got a little friend called Tails in this game. We can play together, or race against each other.”

“Oooh, can we race? Let’s race!” Hanamaru practically bounced up and down on the spot with excitement.

“Very well. But know that when you challenge Yohane, your fate is determined before you even press the start button!”

Hanamaru brushed off Yoshiko’s theatrics, instead focusing on the orange fox on screen. “Cute, zura! Can I play as him?”

“You’ll be Tails, yeah. He’s on the bottom bit of the screen. Oh yeah, so you should know, it’s not just finishing first that counts here. If you smash bad guys and TVs, and collect rings, they’ll help you win too.”

“I see…”

The stage started, and Tails started to walk away, only for Sonic to roll right past at a terrifying speed. “Are you cheatin’, Yoshiko?” said Hanamaru, putting on a pout. “Oh yeah, you can do that in this game,” Yoshiko said, only half apologetically. “If you hold down and press jump, you can charge up a spin and shoot off. You’ve gotta go fast, Zuramaru.”

Although Yoshiko wasn’t particularly familiar with the game, years of practice allowed her to tackle the stage with ease. Hanamaru hung back as Yoshiko sped through, knowing that she couldn’t compete in that way – instead she made sure to collect rings and break item boxes, hoping to win on those fronts. Yoshiko saw that she was doing this and tried to break a monitor herself, but everything suddenly went white…

“Z-zura? I won?!”

Yohane’s curse had struck again. The random item in the box was a teleport, placing Hanamaru right next to the finish line and Yoshiko right back near the start of the stage. Suddenly, she had seconds to make it back through the stage and grab as much as she could along the way. But she’d largely ignored rings and items in her earlier haste – could she pull it back?

Nope. There it was, plain as day.

“2P WINS”

“Wow, I’ve never won at one of these before! I thought you said you played these games a lot, Yoshiko?” Hanamaru couldn’t resist poking a little bit of fun at her friend, though in truth she didn’t quite understand how everything had just happened. “Do not be mistaken! Your victory was a matter of divine intervention,” Yoshiko responded, trying to save face. “Shall we play another round?” Hanamaru shook her head. “I think I’m retirin’ while I’m still undefeated. Besides, I was startin’ to wonder if we could get a drink.”

The two girls headed to the kitchen, and Yoshiko began to pick through the cupboard. “Coffee?”

“No thanks, I never got why everyone’s drinkin’ it all the time. It’s so bitter. I’d be happy with a glass of water, please.”

“Fancy, but I’ll push the boat out just for you,” Yoshiko confirmed with a wink, as she started boiling the kettle for her own coffee.

“You know, I’m really glad we could hang out like this.”

“Yeah, I’m having fun too,” said Yoshiko as she put down Hanamaru’s glass.

“No, I mean – what I’m tryin’ to say is that I’m pleased I could visit your home.”

“Oh, and why would that be?”

“Well, the temple… we don’t have video games or nothin’ like that at my place,” said Hanamaru. She let out a big sigh. “You’d be bored if you visited me.”

“Hanamaru, are you kidding me?” Yoshiko asked with unusual gravitas. “Do you really think I mind where he hang out?”

“Zura?”

Yoshiko decided it was time to use one of Hanamaru’s own tricks. “Where did we meet up before we come here today?”

“In the library,” she responded.”

“And how often have we hung out there?”

“I don’t know… I think I’d have lost count even if I was tryin’ to remember.”

“Now,” said Yoshiko with complete confidence, “how many times have you just walked in and found me there?”

“That never happ– oh…”

“Right. It doesn’t matter so much where we are, because what I’m interested in doing is spending time with you. And you’re not so into games, right?”

Hanamaru took a long sip from her glass. “Yeah. I know you love ’em though, so I like to make an effort.”

“Do you want to stop playing for the night, then? I’m happy to just chat like this.”

“No, just… is there an easy game we could try? One with a lotta story, where you don't have to do too much?”

“That’s a movie, Zuramaru,” Yoshiko joked. She was definitely an action gamer at heart, particularly racing games. “But now I think of it, there might be something…”

As the girls headed back to Yoshiko’s room, Yoshiko tried to think of a suitable game to put on. She didn’t have many visual novels. Well, there was that one she'd been playing that Riko had recommended… No! Yoshiko didn’t want to come across as weird. Honestly, Mari had never hidden her thirst, but Riko was a surprise. Who’d have thought that Yohane would be the purest member of Guilty Kiss?

“Whatcha thinkin’, Yoshiko?”

“A-ahhh haha… nothing!” Yoshiko had gotten wrapped up and totally missed the development of that awkward silence. “Hey, I haven’t started this one yet. Shall we try it? It’s a bit sci-fi but it’s more or less the sort of game you wanted.”

“Looks good, zura,” Hanamaru confirmed. “Hey, would you mind if I rested my head on your shoulder while we read it? I’m not used to stayin’ up so late.”

“S-sure,” said Yoshiko, turning her rapidly reddening face towards the wall as the game loaded.

The game began, and the player character started ranting about being a mad scientist chased by some organisation. “Hey, this guy’s funny,” said Hanamaru, giving Yoshiko a little nudge. “He kind of reminds me of you.” Hanamaru meant it affectionately, so it was fortunate that she didn’t turn her head – or else she’d have seen Yoshiko’s accusatory glare. Yohane was nothing like Hououin Kyouma! “The girl’s cute, though.”

“Right? She’s sweet and innocent… Really, I quite like characters like that.”

Hanamaru just gave a contented little “Mm” as the story continued apace. The characters went to get capsule toys on the way to some scientific press conference, then argued with a teenage genius, only to find her dead minutes later. “Hey, Zuramaru, let me know if you get scared, alright?” No response.

Yoshiko looked down to see Hanamaru softly sleeping, still propped up against her for comfort. Clearly, she hadn’t been kidding about not being used to late nights. But they’d had a fun night together, and besides, she looked so cute that Yoshiko could hardly be mad. She turned the console off and switched over to the TV, then carefully shifted to a more comfortable position.

This, she thought to herself, was something she could get used to.

[flipomatic]

A New World Chapter 15: Center Stage

Author Note: There’s some stuff going on with RAS in this chapter, which I might consider expanding on more with a spin off at some point.

First Chapter Previous Chapter

__________________________________________________________

It was a hot, stifling summer afternoon. When Ako and her friends reached their destination, it was a relief to escape the heat.

The mall was cool, but it was unpleasantly warm again inside the arcade. Ako, Rokka, and Asuka had come straight after school, taking the train before walking the final stretch.

Ako was super excited to go; she’d even made sure to bring all of the pocket change she’d been saving. When she found a coin under her desk at school today, that was just an extra bonus.

She led the way inside, looking around with wide eyes at all the flashing games. A wave of noise washed over her, as each game competed for her attention. She hadn’t been here in a while, so there were definitely some new ones.

“Where should we start?” Ako asked, spinning to see more of the arcade. There was a cool new light gun game, oh and a taiko drum game that looked super awesome. She couldn’t ignore the claw machines either. Those large plush animals were too fluffy to resist.

“Why don’t we make a loop?” Asuka suggested, gesturing to the right side of the arcade. The light gun games were over that way, which Ako absolutely wanted to try.

“Let’s go!” Ako pumped one fist in the air, turning to follow the suggested path.

The three teens only made it about ten feet before they stopped at one of the games. It was a large machine with two huge screens, with a large table in front it. A light gun was hooked up on each side, painted in bright neon colors. An indent near the bottom of each side housed a pedal, likely for taking cover in the game.

Rokka stepped up to one of the guns, picking it up confidently. Ako took to other, pointing it at the screen with both hands.

“Have you played this before?” Asuka asked as she stepped up between them.

“Nope.” Ako leaned down to insert a hundred yen coin. Then she took position, ready to fire at the game.

Rokka did the same on her side. “Just once before, when I came with Masuki-san.”

“Oh?” Asuka arched one eyebrow. “How’s it been going with her?”

“T-the same as before.” Rokka almost dropped her light gun as she stumbled over her words. Ako glanced over at her, confused by her reaction. She already knew that Rokka was spending more time with Masking this year, but that was the stutter of someone with secrets to spill.

Ako would’ve asked what she meant by that if Rokka hadn’t fired her light gun at the screen, starting the game before Ako could ask.

A tutorial started to play on both screens, pulling Ako’s attention to it. She learned how to make her character duck behind cover, how to reload her gun, and how to shoot at enemies. It was all easy; though this was a new game, she’d played this type many times before. Her skill level was definitely an A+!

Then it threw her and Rokka into the fray, with waves of enemies spawning around them. Ako fought as hard as she could, shooting every enemy in sight. That didn’t stop them from shooting back at her. It was hard to remember to duck into cover until it was too late.

Before long, her hp had hit zero. The screen flashed with ‘continue?’ as a timer counted down. Ako set her light gun down, perhaps some other time she’d try again.

Rokka, on the other hand, was still going strong. She had about half her health and looked dead serious as she expertly dodged the enemies.

“Gettem!” Ako cheered her on as she made a kill. Asuka had moved to Rokka’s other side and was rooting for her as well, though much more quietly than Ako.

When Rokka made it to the next boss, her fortunes started to change. The boss kept destroying her cover, forcing her to fire out in the open. It hit her a few times, which marked the end of her run. The same ‘continue?’ message appeared, taunting the player to add just one more coin.

Rokka placed the light gun in its holster with a smile. “This one is pretty good.” She said, before asking Asuka if she wanted to try it, but the other teen said she’d pass for now.

The three walked away from the machine, continuing their circle around the arcade. They next approached the crane games, all full of large prizes.

They stopped at one full of medium sized figures, where Asuka tried to bump one from its stand. Rokka and Ako watched with wide eyes as she nudged it, but unfortunately it remained right in exactly the same spot.

As Asuka put in another coin to try again, Rokka reached in her pocked to pull out her phone. She had been smiling before, yet she grimaced as she looked down at the screen. She tapped on the bottom of her phone with both thumbs, probably texting someone, before putting it back in her pocket.

Rokka pulled out a folded piece of paper from that same pocket, looking up at Ako. Ako wasn’t paying any mind to her, as she was engrossed with Asuka’s second failure at getting the figure.

“Hey, Ako.” Rokka called her name quietly, barely loud enough to be heard over the noise of the arcade.

Ako still heard her, though she wasn’t sure exactly what she said. “What is it?”

“Is Roselia busy two Sundays from now?” Rokka’s hand, the one holding the folded paper, fidgeted with the corner of it.

“Hmm, lemme check.” Ako took her phone out and opened the master calendar, clicking to the asked about date. “Just rehearsal, why?” Sunday was usually the best day for the whole band to practice together.

Now Rokka lifted the paper, holding it out to Ako. “RAS is playing at a summer festival. One of the bands dropped out, do you think Roselia would want to perform?”

Ako accepted the paper, unfolding it. It was a colorful flyer, advertising a summer music festival featuring local bands. “I have to ask, but that would be awesome!” Ako snapped a photo of the flyer and sent it to the Roselia group chat.

“RAS wants us to play with them!” Ako typed after sending the photo.

“Looks interesting. If we cancel practice we could do it.” Sayo replied quickly, as usual. It seemed like she was on board.

Rinko was next. “It looks like fun.”

“We haven’t performed in a while.” Lisa chimed in. “What do you think Yukina?”

Yukina could be seen typing for a few moments, slower than the others. “This will be the next step on our path.” After all these years, Ako knew that was a yes.

“Yay!” Ako added a smiling emoji.

“Ako, can you get the organizer’s contact information?” Lisa asked an important question; they would need that to get everything ready.

“For sure.”

Ako grinned as she looked back up at Rokka, who was waiting for her to finish texting. “Roselia is in!”

Rokka nodded once, still with a hint of unease in her expression. “Chuchu will be happy.”

“I’m so excited to play on the same stage as RAS again!” They hadn’t performed at the same venue since early last year. The contest had been stressful, but Ako had loved every minute of it. Oh, right Ako was supposed to ask something. “Do you have the contact info for the event organizer?”

“Yes, one moment.” Rokka took her phone back out, clicked a few times, then showed the screen to Ako. It had a name and phone number on it, which Ako texted directly to Lisa.

After sending it, Ako glanced back up at Rokka. She was looking at her phone, a frown again in place on her lips. Ako wondered what was bothering her, was it something to do with RAS? She never got to ask about Masking earlier too.

Ako opened her mouth to ask, but was once again interrupted by a loud voice.

“Yes!” Asuka exclaimed, startling Ako. Rokka flinched and gave a small ‘eep’ of surprise at the noise. They both turned back to Asuka and saw that she finally succeeded at knocking the figure off the platform.

“Great job!” Rokka recovered quickly and stepped closer to Asuka as she leaned down to retrieve her prize. She seemed to have snapped out of whatever funk she was in.

Ako joined them, stowing her questions for now.

Her phone buzzed in her pocket, which was Lisa thanking her for the info. Roselia’s group chat soon blew up with discussion about a set list.

There was an excitement running through Ako as she read the discussion, a rush of energy. They had a little over two weeks to prepare for the live; she was going to make it great!

______________________________________________________

Today was the big day, the day of the summer festival. Ako had been practicing super hard for the last two weeks to get ready, refining her technique and making sure to play perfectly in time. The band had even squeezed in extra practices to get ready, though they were mostly with only part of the band.

They decided to wear their original stage outfits for today, since it was the band’s classic look. Ako made sure to try it on ahead of time and worked with Rinko to adjust it for her new height.

On the day of the event, Ako left the house with plenty of time to spare. Tomoe was planning to go as well with the rest of Afterglow, but Ako had too much energy to wait.

She carried her costume and drumsticks carefully as she took the train to the venue. It was being held on an outdoor stage at a park, with 6 different band performing over the course of the day. The weather was cooler today, though still moderately hot. Raise A Suilen would perform second, while Roselia was scheduled fifth.

Ako wanted to go early so she wouldn’t be late, so she didn’t have to wait around the house, but there was more to it than that. She also wanted to watch RAS perform; their music was always a lot of fun to listen to. The way they worked the crowd was inspirational.

The park was already bustling when Ako arrived, with many people milling around. Ako weaved through them to reach the backstage area, where she stored her costume and drumsticks in Roselia’s tent. Sayo’s costume was already back there.

Then, Ako headed back out into the crowd. If Sayo’s costume was here she must’ve been too, so she looked for a splash of light blue hair. As expected, she was able to find that distinct color in the crowd.

Surprisingly, there were two individuals there with it. Sayo and Hina were both near the back of the venue, standing together and talking. Ako weaved past a few people to reach them.

“Good morning, Udagawa-san.” Sayo greeted her as she approached. Hina waved as well. “You’re awfully early.”

“Hi!” Ako stopped in front of them. “I was so excited; I couldn’t just stay at home!”

“Me too!” Hina beamed, her smile practically stretching from ear to ear. “I can’t wait to hear Onee-chan play!”

Sayo flushed slightly. “Hina, please remember there are people around.” Indeed, a few of the audience members had turned to stare.

“Oh, sorry.” Hina clamped one hand over her mouth, giggling as she did.

The conversation shifted to the other bands playing today. Besides Roselia and RAS, there were four others. One was from Sayo’s school and often performed there. Ako hadn’t heard of the others, but she was still excited to hear them play.

Rinko arrived next, appearing in the group without a word. Afterglow came over to say hi when they got there, but they only stayed for a minute. They were determined to get a good spot near the stage.

Lisa and Yukina walked up ten minutes before the first group was set to perform. The band decided they would stay to watch through RAS, then they’d head backstage. They stood in the corner, where it would be easier to slip away.

The crowed had completely filled up, with at least a thousand people packed into the park. They cheered as the first band came on stage, waving multi-colored penlights in the air.

Ako cheered too, waving her arms to the music. This band was great! Their music almost seemed to fly by, as they rolled through one song after another. Their drummer was particularly good, hitting some impressive patterns.

Before Ako knew it, it was time for RAS. They came on stage to a flurry of cheers.

The audience had grown even more since the start of the concert. Chuchu called out to the audience to introduce them. She named each member as they played a solo, with Pareo introducing her last.

Ako had seen them do this many times, but it still impressed her to this day. She probably had stars in her eyes as she cheered at the start of their first song.

They opened with Hell or Hell, which was one of Ako’s favorites, before hyping up the crowd through Unstoppable and A Declaration of XXX.

Ako tried to ask Rokka how things were with the band at school last week, after they didn’t get to talk about it at the arcade, but Rokka insisted that everything was fine. Based on the strength of this performance, Ako could only believe that to be true.

Despite any trouble the band might’ve been having, their music came together perfectly. Ako mostly watched the drums, noting Masking’s excellent technique.

When RAS finished, it was time for Roselia to head backstage. Hina wished them luck as they walked away.

Immediately upon reaching the back, the band found themselves face to face with RAS. They had just come off the stage and must’ve been heading to their tent.

“Minato Yukina.” Chuchu was covered in sweat from having just performed in the heat, yet she still had the energy to point directly at Yukina. “There’s no way your stage outshines ours!”

Yukina’s expression was impassive as always. “We will see.” She replied simply, before brushing past the band.

“You were amazing!” Lisa called as the rest of the band followed her. Ako looked back to shoot them a thumbs up and a grin.

As Roselia reached their tent, they could hear the next band starting to play. They quickly changed into their outfits for the show and prepared their instruments. Ako only needed her drumsticks, since she would use the drum set on stage.

The tent was soon full of the sounds of the band, of Yukina warming up, Sayo tuning her guitar, and Lisa practicing one last song. Rinko would use the keyboard on stage as well, so she was taking the time to stretch her fingers.

Once they were ready, they circled up. Ako leaned in between Rinko and Lisa in the circle, with one arm around each of them.

“This is our first performance of the new year.” Yukina took the lead in the huddle. “Let’s show them our devotion.”

Ako nodded, prepared to do just that. She looked around at her band members, who each wore expressions of determination.

The band broke the circle and left the tent, heading to where they were supposed to wait. The fourth band had just started, so soon it would be their turn.

They had to wait a little, but their turn did come. After the previous band finished and left the stage, Roselia went up the steps to take their place.

The crowd cheered loudly, with purple penlights on full display. Ako waved broadly at the audience, before sitting down at the drums. She adjusted the seat quickly and checked that the drum set was in the right spots. On the other side of the stage, Rinko had finished doing something similar.

After moving one of the snares, Ako looked over at Yukina. The vocalist was waiting for that cue.

“We are Roselia.” Yukina introduced the band to the audience. “Our first song is Black Shout.” With that, Ako counted off and the band started to play.

They chose Black Shout as the opener since it was one of their most well known songs. Ako played it confidently, hitting her parts exactly right. She even used the new technique she’d been refining. This was great, she was playing perfectly.

There was a problem though, as Ako turned her ears towards her bandmates something felt off. The audience was still roaring, but something sounded wrong. Ako kept her smile pasted on her face as she glanced over towards Rinko. She wondered if Rinko could feel it too.

Rinko was still smiling as well, but it looked strained. She met Ako’s gaze for a moment, so Ako cued the next down beat with a larger motion.

For a moment, that made the feeling go away. But it didn’t stay gone.

The piano felt off. It wasn’t just the piano, the guitar, the bass, and the vocals too. It felt like the band was bursting out in every direction, pulling the music their way. Ako stayed in the center of that, keeping the beat. Their sound was completely different than before, something new and scary.

Sayo had turned back towards her, lips drawn in a tight line. Ako cued her as well, hoping that would help.

It didn’t.

The band felt unstable, like it was on the verge of tearing. Ako knew that wouldn’t happen, that every member of her band was capable of staying together no matter how strange they sounded. No matter how they clashed in this moment, they could still play Black Shout together.

They continued on to the next song. The crowd cheered even louder. They had especially enjoyed the guitar solo.

Ako wondered if the crowd couldn’t hear it, or perhaps it was in her imagination. No, as Lisa as well looked for a cue she normally would’ve hit without help, Ako knew the problem was real. The rest of the band could feel it too.

The second song ended and they continued on to the next. Some songs felt better than others, while some felt far worse. Ako fought to keep her smile up the entire live, which became even harder with the heat of summer.

The crowd was still cheering loudly when they finished their final song, still enthusiastically waving their penlights in the air.

Roselia bowed and thanked them, before leaving the stage. Ako wasn’t sure what to think about their performance, or how to feel. They walked back to their tent in silence.

Once inside, Ako stopped by the entrance. She couldn’t just hold in her words. “What happened out there?” She asked, looking between her bandmates.

Sayo and Lisa were both putting their instruments away. Rinko had her hands held together, while Yukina stood with her arms crossed.

“I-I’m not sure…” Rinko muttered.

“We were out of sync.” Sayo cut in, glaring up from her guitar case.

Yukina’s eyes narrowed. “We shouldn’t have been.” Her stare was heavy.

Lisa finished zipping her bass case, then turned towards the rest of the band. “We need to talk about it.” She said, eyes landing on Yukina. Even she was not smiling. “Let’s meet next Sunday, instead of band practice. We’ll figure this out.” That was probably the next time they would all be free again.

“Alright.” Yukina acquiesced without a fight. “I’m going to watch the last band.” With that she turned and exited the tent, leaving the other band members behind. Lisa sighed as she watched her go.

Ako stepped over to Rinko, who was now wringing her hands together. “We should do that too.” At least it could take their minds off of their performance.

Rinko nodded and followed Ako as she started to walk away. Sayo and Lisa remained in the tent.

They didn’t go back out to the audience, since they were still in costume, but they watched the last band from backstage. Yukina was nowhere to be found. Hina came past as they watched, likely looking for Sayo. The sixth band was excellent, as expected.

It didn’t succeed at distracting Ako from her thoughts. She could only remember how Black Shout had sounded, how it had felt as the band pulled in different directions.

Next week they would debrief it. She couldn’t wait.

_________________________________________________________

End Note: Chapters are going to be a little less frequent now, probably just once a week. I’ve been feeling a bit burnt out from this fic so I’m taking it a little slower. Thanks for continuing to read!

Next Chapter

[ijustwanttoexist]

Love Isn’t Just a Walk in the Park Pt. 2

Part 1

There are a weirdly limited number of pictures with Sidney Crosby with dogs that I could find, so that first installment is probably going to be the only one with a picture. Sorry! (This is turning out so much longer than I anticipated)

Pairing(s): Sidney Crosby/Evgeni Malkin

It’s been three weeks since Sidney Crosby started taking a randomly chosen dog on a jog with him in the mornings. Sara and Angela have been solely in charge of making the tweets. Geno has stayed as out of it as he can.

Which means he absolutely does not check the shelter’s twitter page first thing when he wakes up every morning, no matter what Sara and Angela (or any of his so-called friends) say. He has better things to do for his daily routine than check twitter. Besides, Sidney doesn’t come in every day the shelter isn’t open every day. It’s closed on Mondays and Wednesdays, the days they had the least traffic those first six months when the shelter was open every day.

Besides, he doesn’t have to check the twitter feed every day, because whichever of the two girls is there when he gets in tells him all about it when he comes in to work.

“Sidney took Abby and Dessy out together because he said he didn’t want to break up siblings.”

“Oh my god, I expected him to have a big deep sneeze, you know the ones that almost echo with how loud they are, but he let out the cutest little sound, and then turned bright red because I was laughing so hard.”

“He came in today in black clothes and got mauled by the golden doodle he took out, Sasha. He was covered in fur when he left.

“Sidney had a black eye today. Apparently he took a bad hit yesterday?”

“Sidney brought a dog stroller in so he can take the puppies and cats out, because he doesn’t want to leave anyone out.”

“There was a mom and a little boy in today when Sidney got back, and they adopted the dog he took out jogging because he gave such a great review. We posted a picture of him with one of the snakes instead.”

His employees were many things, but subtle was not one of them. He had quickly learned to tune them out when they started talking in that certain tone of voice. His mother used the same tone whenever she told him about some cute guy or girl she met the other day while she was out shopping.

So Geno resigned himself to being told all about someone he was very definitely not interested in from his two otherwise wonderful employees.

Just as they’re going into the fourth week, Geno gets a frantic call from Angela. One of her professors decided to change the requirements for an assignment that’s worth fifteen percent of her grade and it’s due in two days. She needs the time off, and Geno is happy to give it to her.

So the next morning, Geno’s alarm goes off much earlier than he would have liked, but he gets up and gets ready. It reminds him a little of when he first opened the shelter and was the only person working there, nine to five, seven days a week.

He gets there five minutes before they’re supposed to open with an extra large black coffee from the coffee shop down the road from his apartment. He fumbles with his keys, but gets the door open with little hassle.

He’s in the back, putting food in bowls, when he hears the little alarm he’d had installed in the back that lets him know when the front door opens. He finishes the last few stalls, then makes his way to the front expectantly.

Sidney is standing there in a sky blue t-shirt and baggy basketball shorts, and neon-bright running shoes. He doesn’t even look tired to be up this early in the morning.

“Hey,” he says, and smiles at Geno, “it’s good to see you again.” And the thing is, Geno believes him that it actually is good to see him again, the man’s voice and face are so sincere.

“You too. Happy to see best dog walker.” He makes his way to his spot behind the counter and leans sleepily on it. “Have to wait a few minutes before you go. Just feed them.”

Sidney gives him a warm smile. “No problem. I got here a little earlier than I usually do because I wanted to ask Angela about that recipe she was telling me about. She not coming in today?”

Geno shakes his head. “Professor change her final project. She need few days off so she can fix, so I’m taking her shifts.”

“I’m sure she really appreciated that. Not all bosses are so accommodating.”

Geno shrugs. “She been with me long time, almost two and a half years. First employee. Know when I hire her that school comes first.” He looks up and sees that Sidney is resting his chin on his fist, his elbow up on the counter. He’s got a soft smile on his face as he looks at Geno.

“You’re a good boss.”

And again, Geno feels like Sidney actually means what he’s saying. He hides his flush by taking a long drink of hot coffee and makes himself power through the burn, knowing his tongue will suffer for it later.

“Dogs probably done eating now,” he says once he puts his cup down, “can go find your friend for the day.”

Sidney makes his way to the back and comes out with Dante, a large black lab that comes up to his hip. Geno waves them out the door, then buries his face in his hands on the counter. How can someone who gives some of the most monotone and awkward interviews turn out to be so friendly and sincere in person?

And it’s not like he can foist Sidney off on one of his employees when he gets back, because he’s the only worker in the store, and will be until Sara comes in to help with the afternoon rush. And worse still, he knows his English still isn’t great, so he’ll have to ask someone for help writing the tweet for today.

He could always just skip the tweet for the day. Sidney not having an official twitter of his own meant that they couldn’t tag him in the tweet, and the tweets themselves weren’t getting much attention. It wasn’t like they were making a huge difference in the amount of traffic the shelter saw. 

Okay, that was a lie. He had noticed that the dogs Sidney took out had a high turnover rate. Daisy had been adopted just four days after Sidney had taken her out, and most of the other’s he’d taken out had been adopted in a similarly short time. Dante was a good dog. He didn’t deserve to have his day skipped just because Geno couldn’t talk to the most attractive man he’d ever seen simply because he was also the nicest person he’d ever met.

Geno shook himself out of his self-pitying stupor and made himself get to work. It was another freight day, and the truck would be here soon. Geno needed to organize the shelves and work his way through some paperwork before that got here. He would worry about the tweet when it came time.

Geno is hunched over the lip of a box, digging for that one more bag of treats he knows should be inside it when he hears the bell above the door ring.

“Be right there,” he calls back as he shifts other items out of the way. He’s just seen a promising sliver of red when he hears a strange almost choking noise behind him.

He shoots up in alarm and glances over his shoulder. Sidney is standing in the same aisle as him, cheeks red from exertion, sweat making his hair shiny and just that one shade darker. His eyes shoot up from wherever it is they’re looking to meet Geno’s.

“I just,” Sidney says, voice sounding oddly strangled. He clears his throat and starts again. “I just wanted to let you know that we’re back.”

“Yes, good,” Geno says and makes his way down the aisle to them. “Need water?” He asks as he passes him, gesturing to his own throat in explanation.

“Yeah, please,” Sidney says and follows him back to the counter. Geno grabs one of the water bottles from the mini fridge he keeps behind the counter. He slides it over to Sidney, then grabs his phone from where he’d left it next to the front computer.

“Ready for picture?” he asks once Sidney has drained half the bottle.

“Yeah,” he says. Geno rounds the counter again and follows Sidney outside into the morning light. Sidney hunkers down by Dante, who takes the opportunity to lick a long, excited stripe up Sidney’s face. Geno’s glad he had his camera ready because he gets Sidney’s look of amused disgust perfectly.

He takes two more, one with Sidney and Dante looking at each other, the other of the two facing the camera, Dante laying down in the grass and absorbing the attention Sidney is giving him.

They go back inside and drop Dante back off in his kennel, where he greedily laps up the water that’s available to him.

They go out to the front and settle on the third picture before Sidney starts gushing about Dante.

“He’s a great dog,” Sidney says, “Super calm and gentle. Probably great with kids.” And really, Geno has to stop him before he says too much and he misses it all.

“Please talk slower,” he says, typing slowly on the English keyboard. He sticks his tongue into the corner of his mouth in concentration as he types. “Calm. Gentle. How he handle on leash?”

“He’s definitely leash trained,” Sidney says. “No pulling.”

“No pulling,” Geno repeats. He stares at his phone for a moment, then sighs and shows his phone to Sidney. “Need help,” he says. “My English not so good.”

“Your English is great,” Sidney says before he gets distracted with the phone. Geno huffs.

“Been here five years. Still don’t know how to use pronouns, Angela says.” Geno grumbles.

Sidney looks up from the phone and meets his eyes dead on. “I think anyone who can learn how to communicate in a whole new language is really impressive, especially someone who moves to a whole new country and uses that language to make a living.”

Geno huffs to hide his embarrassment at the compliment. “Have friends who do better. Sound better.”

“If your friends are giving you a hard time for not being as good at English as them, fuck’em,” Sidney says as he types something out on Geno’s phone. Then he freezes and his entire face lights up like a bad sunburn. “That.. I mean... can we just forget I said that?” He asks as he hands the phone back to Geno. Geno grins at him.

“Nope. Tell all my friends Sidney Crosby says mean things about them and I’m best at English.”

Sidney laughs, and it’s endearing how unpolished it is. Geno has heard Sidney’s media laugh in odd bits of interviews he’s seen on tv as he’s flipping through channels. This laugh isn’t that. It’s more high pitched, slightly grating, and entirely charming in how imperfect it is.

Geno swallows down a groan of hopelessness. Finally, something that is arguably unattractive about this man, and somehow Geno is even more smitten. 

He looks down at his phone and reads through the tweet. It looks good, and Sidney seems to approve. He hits post and then puts his phone down to find Sidney still looking at him with a side half smile.

“Even though it sucks that Angela has to redo part of her final project, I’m kind of glad her professor changed the assignment,” Sidney says low, like it’s a secret.

“Oh?” Geno says after he swallows loudly.

“Yeah,” Sidney says, making direct, earnest eye contact, “It was really good to see you again.” He gives Geno a couple seconds to say something to that, but Geno is tongue-tied. Sidney doesn’t seem to mind, just gives him a kind smile, and then bids him goodbye. 

Geno waves as he walks out the door, then sags heavily in the chair for the computer. He takes a deep breath, the lets it out in a strangled sigh. He is so fucked.

[candlelightchen]

Unemployed Cat (part 6)

Black Suit Cat looked left and right. After making sure that there were no other cats around, he hunched and patted Unemployed Cat’s shoulders. Unemployed Cat hunched obediently. Two cats’ heads were put together.

“Unemployed Cat,” says Black Suit Cat with a magnetic voice, “I know you are listening to me very devotedly. I have never seen a cat before that is so respectful to lollipops. Therefore, I can give you a special and exclusive offer. No other cats ever have offers like this!”

“Really!?”

“Why do I lie to you!” Black Suit Cat patted his chest, “But even if you buy this lollipop with such a low price, you mustn’t show it off before other cats. I am willing to sell this lollipop to you with such a low price, is because I am deeply touched by your selfless and persistent love for it. I will never sell to anyone that does not love lollipops, even with a price 10 or 20 times more. Selling to those cats who are fishing for fame is a huge disrespect to this lollipop and our boss ‘Extra Super Famous Cat’. Therefore, instead of saying that you buy the lollipop, it is better to say that the lollipop chooses you. This is the destiny all planned by God Cat!”

Unemployed Cat nodded his head, asking him to go on.

“My bro, do you want this lollipop?” asked Black Suit Cat.

“I want this lollipop.”

“Do you want this lollipop eagerly?”

“I want this lollipop eagerly.”

“Do you want this lollipop no matter what?”

Unemployed Cat hesitated. Black Suit Cat rubbed his shoulders and said,”Bro, show your enthusiasm for this lollipop!”

“I ... I want this lollipop no matter what!”

“Good! You have past the final trial of buying this lollipop! I am pleased to be your Witness Cat, to give you this box of lollipop.” Black Suit Cat handed the box and an extra paper to Unemployed Cat seriously. Unemployed Cat read the paper. It said, “When I touch this paper using my claws, I agree with the following terms automatically.

I, Unemployed Cat, agree to buy one ‘Never Ending Stream’-flavored lollipop, which is made using the most fashionable nanotechnology and telepathic experiments; which is also sponsored exclusively by Extra Super Famous Cat.

$10000 paid.” 

“$10000!?” cried Unemployed Cat, “Why is it so expensive!?”

“This is the lowest price of all time. It is the minimum respect to the lollipop.” said Black Suit Cat, “I have mentioned earlier that you are not be able to buy this treasure for 10 times the price in other occasions.”

“However...”

“Is this lollipop important, or your trivial $10000?” Sales-Cat was annoyed, “Unemployed Cat, I am truly disappointed with you. Where is your passion, enthusiasm and love for the lollipop now?”

“I ...I don’t have this much money!”

“You don’t have money? That is a problem EASY to solve!” Sales-Cat pulled out a pair of sunglasses from his pocket and turned around. The atmosphere changed suddenly.

“Have you ever worried about money? Have you ever have the feeling of ‘Oh! I want to buy this. It is SO cute! But my piggy bank...’? ‘Tight Encirclement’ Professional Finance Company can help you! ‘Tight Encirclement’ has 365 divisions in Cat City, which can satisfy your need for money! Want to buy ‘Bursting into Tears’-flavored lollipop? No problem! Want to buy ‘Never Ending Stream’-flavored lollipop? No problem too! As soon as you need cash, we can provide it for you. Release your desire to buy things! Buy the whole set of ‘Extra Super Famous’ lollipops and bring them to your home!

We now support fashionable automatic and systematic payment platform. You don’t need any certified documents. Stretch out your claws and you can get cash!

Visit ‘Tight Encirclement’ Professional Finance Company RIGHT NOW!” 

“But, Grandma Cat often told me not to waste money!”

“Are you a three-year-old Kid Cat?” Sales-Cat said angrily, “What is the era now? It is the era of ‘using up your money as soon as possible’! Do you want to be Snail Cat, who has saved all the money for his entire life and bought a snail shell as his house? Unemployed Cat, let me tell you, you are unemployed because you cannot chase up the paces of this society, because your tiny brain is always slower than others. If every other cat is like you, this economy will never grow and the society will never function! Your money, was never yours, will be your wife’s and children’s later, if you ever have a wife. Therefore, use up your money when you still have it; borrow money when you don’t; cherish every current moment until you go to hell!”

“...”

“Unemployed Cat!” Sales-Cat gritted his fangs and bristled his hair with an angry face, “ Don’t ever try to play dirty! Your claws have already touched the agreement! This means that you have completely accepted the deal! I have recorded your oath about your love for this lollipop!”

“What!?”

“You rubbish cat! The dregs of the society!” said Sales-Cat fiercely, “Give me the money! Or you want me to ask Gangster Cat and Loan Shark Cat to deal with you?” Sales Cat suddenly patted Unemployed Cat gently, “ We are true friends, right? I don’t want to do things in such a cruel way. How about you give me the money, and allow me to give you this precious treasure? It is a win-win situation for both of us, don’t you think?”