#i love them very much and I will be so sad when this ends

[baby-yongbok]

𝘗𝘪𝘯𝘬 + 𝘞𝘩𝘪𝘵𝘦

Hwang Hyunjin 𝗑 Afab!Reader

♡ Genre - Friends to Lovers

♡ CW - Explicit Sexual Content, Unprotected Sex, Nightmares, Alcohol usage by reader, Hyunjin calls reader rose as a nickname, One use of 'y/n'.

♡ Summary - Your avoidant tendencies have allowed the burn of pink and white to keep you Hyunjin at a safe distance until it all comes crashing down. Can the fire that kept you apart also be what brings you together?

♡ Word Count - 9.2k

♡ A/N - I went from not being sure if I liked this fic to being in love with it. I think that it's a very sweet fic and I loved writing it. I worked so hard on it and I'm so proud of it. The goal was for it to be 4k words.. then I almost posted it at 8k but now... yeah. I hope that you love this as much as I do!

♡ Playlist - Pink + White - Frank Ocean, Rainy Days - V, For Us - V, Beautiful Things - Benson Boone, Trajectories - Bruno Major

✧ Masterlist ✧

When you were six years old you punched a boy in the face on the playground. That was the first time that you ever felt the burn of genuine fear.

Your mom along with the many others came swirling around them. When your mother asked you what happened you cried. You clung to her running over to you and the crying brunette boy on the playground with a mix of emotions and explained the best you could through your tears that you didn’t like that he was chasing you, when you agreed to play tag you thought that you’d be the chaser not the one being chased.

That was the day that you learned two things about yourself, you have a habit of acting impulsively when you’re scared and you don’t like being chased. It's suffocating.

As you got older your friends described you as the avoidant type, especially in relationships. You developed a reputation for being an ice queen in your Sophomore year of university which led to you being one of the most sought after girls on campus. 

You’ve lost friends because of this. Their boyfriends saw getting close to them as a gateway to meeting you. Many guys took dating you as a challenge with an end prize of overnight popularity. Unfortunately, some of your closest relationships have been destroyed because of it. You learned not to be sad about it, you’ve come to terms with it, this is just the way that it goes. Of course your other friends were all important to you but you always told yourself that you’re alright with losing them as long as you have your best friend by your side. 

“More roses? Are you in love or something?” You weaved through the cluttered art studio that Hyunjin has claimed as his own. It’s on the dead side of campus on the second floor of a building that was abandoned last year. Your best friend refused to let the studio go when it was shut down, he says that it houses some of his fondest memories. 

“Always in love, never loved back.” He quips, eyes still trained on the canvas. “You’re early.”

You jump up onto one of the few clear desks in the room, right behind his easel. “Chemistry ended early.” Hyunjin stands straight, eyeing his canvas for a second before looking over at you. He knows that you’re skipping class. Your last hook-up is in that class and you're trying to avoid his attempt at getting you in his bed again. If you’re being honest, the decision to sleep with him was impulsive. You blame the beer, all eight of them.

“I thought that we could go to the exhibition early.” He starts another brush stroke and silence swallows you both. “I’m excited about it and if I’m being honest I just wanna spend time with you. I’ve barely seen you for the past three days.”

Hyunjin’s steady hand wavers and he thanks his lucky stars that you didn’t see it. “Aw she misses me. She loves me so much.” The sound of your feet hitting the ground as you jump off of the desk echoes through the dusty room of stacked chairs and forgotten storage items. 

Hyunjin stands and dips the paint brush covered in bright pink in the cup of water next to him. “You could’ve come to my place ya know.” You grab your stuff, swinging your bag onto your shoulder. 

“Your brother is there, you know how he gets.” You scrunch your face at the thought of Hyunjin’s step brother, Jeongin. The two of you get along perfectly, almost as well as you and Hyunjin until Jeongin starts flirting. He confessed to you on New Years and you’ve been avoiding him ever since. He’s too sweet for you, you’d hate to hurt him. “I’m gonna go change, I’ll meet you by your car.”

“You brought a costume change for an art exhibit?” He asks as he starts cleaning his space.

“Of course, I need to look like art too.” You smile at him but he doesn’t smile back, he rolls his eyes and turns his attention back to the mess of paints and rags on the desk in front of him. He waits until he hears the door open and close behind you to finally let the corners of his mouth turn up. He chuckles to himself quietly while his mind comes up with responses that he’d never dare to utter out loud.

“This one looks like you, rose.” The year old nickname slips off of Hyunjin’s tongue like silk. You’ve never fully understood how the name stuck. You figured that it’s because roses are his favorite flower and he thought it was cute. You’ve never asked for its origin but you don’t mind the name. It’s sweet.

You turn to view the series of pink, white and green dots making up a bouquet of roses on the framed canvas in front of Hyunjin. He studies it with smiling eyes though the neutral look on his face could fool those who haven’t experienced him like you have.

“It’s pretty.” You mumble as you lean your head on his shoulder. You wrap your arm around his and the sleeve of the brown oversized flannel shirt that you picked out a year ago rides up his forearm a bit, he blames the chills running up his spine on the breeze against the newly exposed skin. 

“I knew I’d see you here.” The voice of a woman next to Hyunjin startles you a bit. You stand straight and watch as Hyunjin smiles towards her. He’s cursing her in his head for interrupting the moment between the two of you but he learned a long time ago to just live in the moment when it comes to you.

“Of course, I had to see this exhibition.” He shakes her hand and you chalk it up to her being someone important though she doesn’t look much older than either of you. “You put it together beautifully.”

Ah, she owns the gallery. “Oh, please, it’s nothing. I just hope that you’re enjoying it. I actually thought about you when I put this piece up.” She motions towards the art in front of the two of you. The piece that Hyunjin says resembles you. “It looks like something you’d design. I’m still desperate to organize a local exhibition for you, ya know.”

Hyunjin laughs but it's stiff and polite. He’s being shy. He’s a very cautious person but he reaches a whole new level when it comes to his art. “I’m not quite on that level yet.”

“I disagree but I won’t bother you about it until you graduate. This is your final semester, right?” You can see her eyes smiling just like Hyunjin’s were a second ago as she checks him out. She’s shameless in her actions, the glint in her eyes is far from professional. 

“Yes, just three months to go.” She nods, dragging her gaze up from his lips with a smile. 

“Call me when you graduate, I’d love to have you working with us.” She pulls a business card out of her pocket and flashes one last smile before waving a reluctant goodbye towards your best friend. 

Silence settles between the two of you for just a couple of seconds before you break it. “She wants to fuck you so badly that she didn’t even look at me.” Hyunjin scoffs at your whispered words as he slips the card into his pocket. “Don’t tell me that you didn’t notice. How old is she anyway? She looks a bit young to be in charge of this place.”

“Her father owns it.” He mumbles as he grabs your wrist and leads you over to the next piece of art. 

“Oh, of course. She probably thought I was your girlfriend, ya know. She’s rude as hell for not even asking or looking at me. I know she saw me here, she’s clearly -” You’re pulled into Hyunjin’s side before you can finish your sentence. The sudden action cuts you off with a heavy thump of your heart and that painfully familiar burn rising in your chest. 

“Look at this one.” Your eyes are on him but his are on the art. “This one looks like you too.” You pull your gaze away from him to view the piece. The thumping in your chest doubles once your gaze meets your own. It’s a mirror with pink and white abstract designs floating around and over the glass. The paint is so messy yet strategic. It leaves just enough room for your reflection. 

“It’s messy yet elegant, don’t you think? You can’t help but to stare..” He’s visibly smiling now. The corners of his mouth turn up as he studies the art in front of him. As he studies you. “This one might be my favorite. It’ll be hard to beat it.”

“I don’t like it.” You mutter quickly, pulling away from Hyunjin and turning towards the next piece. You try your best to steady your breathing. You will your heart to calm down so that you can take a complete breath but it’s betraying you. “I’m gonna use the bathroom.” 

You’re walking away before Hyunjin can reply. He watches you with that smile in his eyes as you disappear around the corner. He knew that what he pulled would be a risk but it was one that he was willing to take. He doesn’t call you beautiful nearly as much as he should or as much as he really wants to. 

In the bathroom you’re slumped against the door of a stall while you try to catch your breath. You don’t like how Hyunjin’s words made that white hot burn in your chest kick up. You don’t like the way that his eyes being on you made you feel like you were the only two in the entire gallery. It’s suffocating. 

When you step out of the stall your fingers are busy on your phone screen. You find your friend Isa’s number quickly and take a sigh of relief when she answers on the third ring. You bypass reciprocating her kind greeting and get right to the point. 

“Get-together at yours tomorrow?”

You’re standing in the middle of the Pink and White art exhibition. Other viewers jumble together along the walls of the gallery and crowd the pieces. You can’t see anything but their blurred faces decorating the white walls. There’s a slow yet heavy beating in your ears but you’re comfortable. You’re alone in the middle of it all, watching everyone from a pleasant distance as you turn to study them all as if they’re the art on the walls.

 The beating in your ears skips as you turn and come face to face with Hyunjin. He’s standing in front of you wearing that brown hat that you love and the oversized flannel that he bought just to share with you.

 Suddenly the others in the room are quiet. All eyes are on you but Hyunjin’s gaze is the most piercing. His brown eyes are smiling at you with a softness that makes the flame in your chest burn brighter. 

“Why are you staring at me like that?” You look around at everyone else but they’ve vanished along with the art on the walls. The beating in your ears picks up, it’s deafening but Hyunjin’s voice can be heard loud and clear over the noise.  

“I like staring at you.” He takes a step towards you but you take two back. He frowns and steps forward again. You repeat the process until your back is against the wall. “Why do you do that?” 

“I’m not doing anything.” You swallow hard as you try to push him away but he’s stronger than you. As strong as stone caging you against the stark white wall. “I can’t breathe.” You’re pushing as hard as you can but it’s no use. You’re stuck under him.

“Why do you do this?” He’s still staring down at you, a burning gaze setting your skin ablaze. “Why do you keep running?” The beating in your ears drowns out all sensible thoughts. You can feel your veins swelling with fear and the blinding white burning in your chest puffs up with the crushing pressure of having him so close. Too close. 

“Back up.” You inhale the thick air, feeling dizzy. “Move.”

“Stop running.” You try to inhale but it gets stuck in your throat. You want to scream. You need to escape. You need to get out of here. 

You lift your heavy arm the best you can and pull back enough to punch Hyunjin. You aim for his face but your fist goes through him just as your lungs start to burn, you take one last look at him before the wall behind you gives out and you’re falling backwards. Hyunjin watches you, his eyes are void of that sparkling smile and guilt consumes you right before you hit the ground.

You jump up with a gasp as your eyes frantically search the room around you. Your chest rises and falls heavily and sweat beads at your hairline.

It was a dream. 

Friday is a late day for you with your last class ending at nine in the evening. Hyunjin always waits for you in the abandoned art studio, he waits for two hours just to walk you to your dorm across campus. It’s become a routine for the two of you but you told him not to wait up tonight. He was reluctant at first, he insisted on waiting for you but you were adamant about breaking your routine.

He agreed eventually but you could see the dejection in his eyes as he hugged you goodbye before your last class. He watched you walk away just like he always did but this time his heart was heavy in his chest. Did he do something wrong? 

That question haunted him throughout the day. It was loud in his head as he collected his stuff and made his way to the abandoned studio. It echoed in his ears as he tried to finish the painting of his vibrant rose that he’s added notes of dusty pale pink to. But it was the loudest when Jeongin called him to ask if he was going to the get-together at Minho’s place tonight.

He knows that you and Minho’s girlfriend Isa are close so you have to know about this, hell, you might’ve even helped plan it and you kept it from him. You’re avoiding him.

You skipped your class to head to Minho and Isa’s place. They share a small apartment right off of campus that you often use as an escape. Isa is one of the few friends that you still have from sophomore year since her boyfriend has never once tried to get in your pants. 

You sat on Isa’s bed clutching a bottle of soju that is not at all meant for one person while you laid your head in her lap. You loved being with her because there was never any pressure to fill the silence. She understands you in a way that other people just don’t. Not even Hyunjin. 

“So, he called you pretty?” You’ve been telling her everything from what happened at the art gallery to the nightmare you had last night. “And now you’re avoiding him?”

“I’m not avoiding him.” You take a swig from the glass bottle and gulp hard to rush the alcohol into your system. “I’m just being careful.”

“You’re being careful by avoiding your best friend… because he called you pretty and you had a nightmare about it?” You sit up with a groan, lifting the bottle to your mouth again with a sigh. She’s not getting it. 

“You didn’t see the way he looked at me. You didn’t feel the way he pulled me into him, his arm wrapped around my waist and he just stared at me with that smile in his eyes. You know the one that makes his eyes shine when he sees something pretty? He was looking at me like that and he told me that I looked elegant. Messy but elegant and that he couldn’t help but to stare. There was a softness in his voice, I swear, and he just wouldn’t take his eyes off of me. It’s like he was looking into me instead of at me it was… it was..”

“Sweet?” You tap the bottle in your hands with your nails. 

“Suffocating. It was too much. It made my heart skip and it made me feel hot.” 

“That usually means that you like him, ya know.” She takes the bottle from you, drinking from it a bit herself. “ You know that he’s a romantic and this isn’t the first time you’ve felt like this with him.” She hands the cold glass back to you while you think back to the other times that you’ve felt this. The latest being your birthday three months ago when Hyunjin whisked you away to the next city for a mini getaway. 

You stayed in the same hotel room and on the night of your birthday you had a bit too much to drink. He carried you up to your room since you were too out of it to walk but you weren’t too far gone to forget the way that he handled you with such gentle care.

He brushed your hair out of your face when he laid you on your bed and took your make-up off with such a tender touch that it made you want to kiss him. You almost kissed him. 

“I don’t like him like that.” You shrug and she sighs. 

“Whatever you say, ice queen.” That damned nickname makes you cringe but Minho is bursting through the door before you can rebuttal. 

“Jisung and Bin just got here, come on.” You stare at him with confused eyes and he crosses his arms as he stares back at you. “Well? Get up, you wanted to do this.”

“Do what?” You look over at Isa who’s already getting up from the bed.

“Did you not call her asking for a get-together? People are getting here so come on. I’m not hosting this by myself.” Your heart drops and you stare over at Isa who looks back at you with her own look of confusion until it all sinks in.

 “You meant for it to be just us, didn’t you?”

Hyunjin is a cautious person, anyone who knows him knows that about him. He doesn’t like when things go wrong because of him. It eats him alive until he can fix it and if he can’t he lets the anxiety consume him until a part of him dies with the memory of it all. 

His cautious nature is what prompted him to drive home after he got that call from Jeongin. It brought him right to his bedroom where he dropped his bag by the foot of his bed and laid back against the mattress with a death stare set on the dull ceiling. It stared back at him, reflecting his thoughts back to him for him to analyze. 

His brother left for the get-together as soon as he walked through the door and Hyunjin was tempted to follow him down to Seungmin’s car.

He was tempted to drop his bag and turn on his heels and come straight to you but he knew better. He knew you better than you knew yourself. If he shows up at that get-together you’ll avoid him like the plague. You’ll feel trapped by his presence and any hope that he has of fixing this situation will die right in front of his eyes. 

His cautious nature is what’s keeping him on his bed. It’s what’s grounding him to this spot and sating the burning desire to chase you. The problem is that the fire in his chest is bigger than he can handle. He’s seen how you treat the men you want to avoid on campus, he’s seen you take the long way home just to avoid a conversation and the thought of you doing that to him makes him wilt. He can’t let that happen. 

His feet are carrying him across his room before he can even fully process it. He opens his closet and pulls out the brown flannel along with his brown beanie. They’ve become comfort items for the both of you at this point, especially the flannel. It feels like a thread connecting you to him and him to you. He needs to save that connection.

 He sloppily throws on the items while he checks the clock. He’s nearly two hours late but there’s still time. 

Hyunjin has never gotten a speeding ticket but he was nearly positive that he’d get one tonight. He made it to Minho’s place in record time but he’s panting when he knocks on the door like he’s ran there. His heart is hammering when Isa answers the door and the look on her face when she takes him in only makes his heart beat faster. 

She forces a smile, inviting him in and telling him where everything is but he already knows all of that and she knows that he does. “She doesn’t want to see me does she?” Isa sighs, giving him a look that answers each and every one of his questions all at once. 

“Thanks for letting me in.” He walks past her with a nervous huff, making his way into the small party and searching for you immediately. He finds Changbin and Chan before he can find you and the two quickly drag him into a conversation about gods know what while wedging a glass bottle of mystery liquid into his fist. 

Hyunjin’s eyes wander in an attempt to find you as he ignores his friends' conversation. Luckily it didn’t take long for the sound of your loud laughter to echo through the room. His eyes were on you in an instant once he heard it. You’re right in front of him sitting in the truth or dare circle with a can of something strong in your hand. You’re always the loudest in the room but right now you seem to be the drunkest too, you shouldn’t be playing that game you’ll do something reckless.  

He wants to go over and pull you up, he wants to tell you that you’re going home and that you need to sober up. He wants to get you to talk to him but he ignores everything he wants and watches you instead. He stays cautious and keeps his distance. 

“Y/n, truth or dare.” One of your few girl friends, Harvey asks from across the circle. You answer ‘dare’ with a wide smile, it’s no surprise, you always pick that. The raven haired girl looks over to Mingi for assistance since she’s known for picking terrible dares. After a couple seconds of deliberation the blonde perks up with an idea.

“I dare you to kiss whoever this bottle lands on.” Mingi dares with a nonchalant smile and you shrug, the alcohol in your system is surely boosting your confidence but it’s not like you’ll remember any of this tomorrow so who cares, right?

He spins the bottle in the middle of the circle and everyone watches with quiet anticipation as it lands on the copper haired boy sitting three people away from you. It’s Jeongin. 

He stops in the middle of sipping from his cup and flashes you a small innocent smile but what you return to him is nothing less than a look of raw seduction. You’re on your feet in an instant, making your way over to him with low and hazy eyes. You straddle him swiftly, getting comfortable in his lap like you’ve done this a hundred times. 

“You sure about this, noona?” His hands rest on your thighs, he brushes his thumbs over the bareskin and you can feel a shiver down your spine. It almost reminds you of how Hyunjin touched you on your birthday. 

“Do you not wanna kiss me?” You tease him with a slight slur to your voice. You know he wants to kiss you, everyone does except for Hyunjin, right? 

Just as that thought passes your eyes flicker up and meet those of the very man on your mind. He’s watching you with an angry gaze as he fists the neck of the glass bottle in his hand. Your mouth goes dry as you take him in, when did he get here? You feel stuck staring at him, everything around you is suddenly muted and the people around you disappear. It’s only you and Hyunjin.

Both of your hearts are pounding in your chest. 

Both of you feel like you can’t breathe. 

Both of you are about to do something that you shouldn’t.

“Kiss her already!” Ryujin instigates from across the circle and you snap out of your haze and blink down at Jeongin. You both share a smile, one more genuine than the other, before he’s leaning into you. His lips just barely brush against yours before you’re interrupted.

A firm grip on your shoulder startles you and the man under you. You both look up to meet the eyes of the angry Hyunjin above you.“Get up.” He practically growls with a slight tug on your arm. You stare up at him with glassy eyes though you are feeling a bit more sober now. “Get. Up.” 

You’re being pulled up before you can process it. Your feet fight to keep up with him as you stumble towards the bedroom he’s leading you to. You can feel all eyes on you, you can feel the room getting smaller once he locks the bedroom door behind the two of you and pulls his flannel off to drape over your shoulders, something that he does to comfort you. 

“What the fuck?” That’s all you can manage to get out of your mouth as you stare over at him. He stares back with his arms crossed and his chest rising and falling with what you perceive as anger but he would describe as anxiety. Pure fear. 

“Do you understand what you were about to do?” Hyunjin tries to be mindful of his tone. He tries to limit the waver of his words and calm the frantic thoughts in his head. He’s trying. “Why would you kiss him?”

“I didn’t.” The alcohol in your system takes over again and you thank the ridiculous amount of soju you’ve consumed for coming to the rescue. You tug on the flannel resting over your shoulders, pretending that its warmth would protect you from the buzzing in your head and inevitable burning in your chest.

“You would’ve if I didn’t stop you. What happened to you not being into Jeongin? What happened to you not wanting to hurt him?”

You groan, stomping your foot like a child being scolded by their guardian. Like the little girl who punched the brunette boy in the face for chasing her. “Why don’t you mind your business?”

Hyunjin scoffs, his anxiety grows in his chest and he takes a step back. “You are my business.” 

It’s silent for one, two, three heartbeats before the dizzying emotions burning in your chest fill in the silence for you. “Well maybe I shouldn’t be. You’re way too attached to me.”

Hyunjin feels frozen even though he’s stepping back from you. He’s creating more space between the two of you just like you seem to be doing. What do you mean by that? You’re rambling on before he can ask. “You do all of these things that make me feel like I can’t breathe. You call me pretty and you touch me softly and you hold me close and… and you just make me feel hot. You suffocate me.”

Hyunjin whispers through the bubbles forming in his throat. He’s gentle with the way he speaks, he is a cautious person after all, especially when it comes to his art. “Is this about what I said at the gallery?”

His question goes in one ear and right out the other. Your brain formulates words quicker than you can process them, creating a violent episode of word vomit that threatens to spill over your lips and onto the carpet but you swallow hard and condense it all into one simple yet seering sentence. “You keep making my heart race, it’s not fair. You need to go, just go.”

Hyunjin’s blood runs cold and his temples throb like you’ve hit him. Like you’ve punched him in the face. Anxiety bubbles in his veins and swells behind his eyes. It’s his turn to ramble, the word vomit seems to be contagious. 

“I’m not leaving.” His gaze is frantic, cautious, scared. “I am too attached, you’re right. I have been for a while. I’ve loved you for a while and I tried to hide it but I shouldn’t have to. I shouldn’t be scared that I’ll lose my best friend if I tell her that she’s the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.”

 “No, you are not confessing to me right now. Don’t you dare do that.” You pace to the left then the right in a hurried attempt to escape his words before they could reach you. He can’t be doing this right now. You needed to get out of here.

“I am. I am confessing to you. I need you to hear me say that I love you because I do and it scares me just as much as it scares you but you are the reason that it’s scaring me. Losing you is the reason that I’m afraid and I need you to tell me that that isn’t going to happen.” His voice is shaky just like your hands. He watches you like a dog being dropped off at the pound as you physically try to escape him. He knew this would happen, this is what he was afraid of. 

“Stop. Just stop it, Hyunjin. You’re doing it again, I can’t breathe when you’re this close to me.” He stares over at you from the other side of the room and you stare back at him. This doesn’t make any sense. He isn’t next to you but you still can’t breathe. It doesn’t make any sense. “I have to go - I have - just… just leave me alone.” You turn towards the bedroom door but he speaks up before you can make your escape. 

“I’m not going to chase you.” Hyunjin is unmoving. His feet are still planted to the floor like a statue as he slips his fists into his pocket. “I don’t want to push you further away but don’t you dare go home and convince yourself that I don’t care just because I let you go.” 

You listen to him over your hammering heart with your back turned to him and your unsteady gaze trained on the worn door knob. “I’m letting you go with the hope that you’ll come back. You know where to find me.” 

Your feet threaten to betray you, they try to turn you around and drive you over to him but your heart is screaming. That white flame is burning in your chest and begging you to run. Run as fast as you can and find safety, but your safety is standing behind you. It’s watching you with teary eyes that are desperate to meet yours. 

A tear slips down your cheek as you grab the doorknob and pull it with a quick twist. You follow your heart and rush out of the room with tears decorating your face and your hand over your mouth. You let the burning win again.

You rush past everyone, Isa tries to stop you and Minho even catches you for a minute but you fight him off of you and make your way to the front door. You don’t get too far before the last layer of your resolve snaps, You turn onto the next dark block and sink to the ground. Sobs rip through you as Hyunjin’s words hang in your head. He loves you. He wants you but you left him. You left everything you’ve ever wanted behind you. 

A heavier sob escapes you as the truth of it all comes crashing down. You love him too, don’t you? You’ve loved him for so long. Since your birthday and beyond that but you’ve been avoiding it. You’ve avoided your feelings just like you have everything else. You’ve punched yourself in the face, you’ve chased yourself into a corner and now you might just lose everything you have left. You might lose your best friend.

The storms over the next two days swirl the skies into mysterious clouds of pink and white as rain soaks the grass the same way that you’ve soaked your pillow for hours. You’ve opted to stay in, avoiding anything or anyone that could remind you of Friday’s catastrophe.

 You’ve debated texting Jeongin and apologizing for what you remember of the situation. You almost called Isa to spill the fears bubbling in your lungs to her so that she could help you sort through them but she can’t. This is up to you. You need to make a choice. Will you run away from the fire or towards it? 

On the other side of campus Hyunjin sits in the abandoned studio with paint stained hands and dried tears on his cheeks. He’s left his previous painting incomplete. The bright blushing rose sits across the room with the others just like it while he touches his brush to the canvas and smears a smoky mauve to the pristine white flesh. His lines are messy and uncalculated. Far from cautious. 

For a moment he considers that he was only ever careful because of you. Your lack of control over your emotions inspired him to fill in the blanks for you. Now there’s no need for caution without you.

The rain carried into Monday along with the emptiness in your chest. You’ve typed and deleted paragraphs to Hyunjin who has done the same as he sat on the studio floor.

He stayed in the dusty room until midnight each day that he was without you and you stayed up well past then. He poured himself into painting and you poured yourself onto the carpet of your dorm room. You made lists and mapped your emotions until it all started to make a bit more sense. Until the love that burned alongside your hot white fear was glowing pink in the mirror. 

You skipped your classes on Monday, your feet drove you over to the dead side of campus through the violent rain. You stood in the hallway outside of Hyunjin’s studio. The worn copper doorknob stared back at you like it knew what you were here to do. Like it was daring you to go inside. You suck in a breath as you grab the metal, you’ve never been one to back down from a dare.

The studio is empty when you walk inside. The fading warm light of the lamps that you and Hyunjin bought and snuck in illuminate the space the best that they can given the dull pink skies. Your eyes catch on the new piece sitting up on his easel. It’s dark and runny, it’s raw and it feels like it’s calling your name. 

“Hi.” Hyunjin’s voice snaps you out of your thoughts. His voice is small and surprised as he stares over at your frame clad in that famous brown flannel and sweatpants. 

“Hi.” You whisper back. He looks like a mess. Brown hat, pulled too far over his head and his hair spilling from every exit it can find. “More roses?” 

He stares passed you and over at the wilting petals on the canvas with a sad smile. “It’s like I’m in love or something.” 

Your guilt tinged heart beats a bit faster when he steps further into the room and closes the door behind him. He drops his bag next to the door and stares at the dinghy tile with his hands in his pockets. “I’m sorry. For everything, for the party and everything with your brother and for everything that I said.” 

The word vomit is back. It spilled over your lips before you could attempt to swallow it back but you’re almost thankful for it. You have no clue how you’d get your words out otherwise. “You just made me feel… I just felt..” You kick at the cracked tile as if it holds the answers you’re looking for but Hyunjin beats you to it.

“Suffocated.” His eyes are on you now, they’re low and shadowed in a longing sadness. “I’ve seen this happen a million times to other guys and I thought that I was being careful enough to avoid it.” 

“This is nothing like the other guys.” Your bag slumps off of your shoulder and you carelessly allow it to hit the floor. “Your confession just -” He cuts you off with a tight smile.

 “I know. It ruined everything.” He sighs, sad eyes examining the space between the two of you. “I ruined everything and I’m sorry for that, rose. I really am.”

“It didn't. It didn’t ruin anything, it just scared me. I felt suffocated, yes, but not by you. It was by what I felt for you. That’s why this isn’t like what happened with any of the other guys. I never wanted them. Avoiding them was easy but you… avoiding you..” Hyunjin watches your heaving chest with the caution that he thought had abandoned him. He’s quiet, allowing you time to gather your thoughts. He doesn’t want to corner you, he just wants to hear you. 

“Why do you call me that?” You whisper once your breathing has steadied. “Why did you start calling me rose?”

Suddenly he’s looking past you then down at the tile under his feet. He leans against the door behind him, a faint smile decorating his sad face. “You were wearing one in your hair on the day that I realized I love you.” He looks over to where his easel is set up. “We were sitting right there and you had a pale pink rose behind your left ear. You picked me one to match and I told you that it was my favorite flower because in that moment it was. It was beautiful but you…your beauty is hard to beat.”

Your heart is thumping in your ears, it’s a sound that you’ve grown comfortable with over the past few days. The clutter of the abandoned room almost seems to disappear as you process his words. The burning in your chest makes itself known along with the newly identified pink flame. The white walls of the studio almost seem brighter as you receive Hyunjin’s confession. You let it sink in and drown out the tension little by little. “So when you paint them…”

“I’m painting you. I’m always painting you.” The thumping is deafening but Hyunjin is clear over the noise. He has always been the only one who can cut through it all, even in your dreams. 

You can feel yourself falling just like in your nightmare only it’s forwards. You’re falling forwards as your feet carry you to him. You run. You run to him and you fall into his arms that have been desperate to catch you for months. The burn in your chest is paralyzing, it’s seering and fighting the pink flame for dominance. 

You cry into his chest, you sob as the pain of running into the fire engulfs you. It swallows you whole and you stand in it with him, you cling to him before you burn to ash and he holds you like he knows it all. He cradles the back of your head like he can feel the fire ripping your flesh apart. 

You’re flush against him, tears soaking his shoulder and burning all over until he does what no one has done before. He puts it all out. A simple kiss to the top of your head dowses the flame and reduces it to a measly spark of fear overshadowed by an uncontainable pink and white glow of love in your chest. 

You gasp at the cooling effect. Air rushes into your lungs and you can finally breathe, he’s the oxygen you needed. He’s everything you’ve needed but now you want to give your air away again. You want to give it all to him. 

You pull away from his shoulder in one swift motion, your eyes are shut tight as your lips find his and you pull him into a hard and messy kiss. The sound that escapes you both is desperate and beautiful. His lips move with yours in an uncoordinated rhythm that makes your lungs burn comfortably. They burn the way that they’re supposed to. 

Hyunjin cries into the kiss. Tears stream down his cheeks as he cradles you against him like you’d vanish if he didn’t. He drinks it all in, he allows himself to live in this moment that he’s been dying to have with you for what feels like an eternity before he reluctantly breaks the kiss. 

His eyes are still closed when he pulls away. He whispers to you, careful not to crack the shell of this delicate moment. “I thought you -” 

“I don’t want to keep running. I can’t, I need you. I can’t lose you.” Your eyes flutter open at the same time as his. He stares down at you with that smile in his eyes. That smile he has when he sees something beautiful, when he’s utterly enamored by the sight before him. “I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t know how to do any of this, I only know that I want to do it with you.”

He’s quiet for a couple of seconds before a smile sneaks up on him. It fades just as quickly as it came and his eyebrows pinch together. “You want me?” You nod and the smile shows itself again. 

“I want you.” He leans back in, cupping your cheek as he kisses you hard. His body pushes against yours and you move with him as he walks backwards towards one of the few empty desks and lifts you onto it. 

His hands explore every inch of you that he can reach. He balls his fist over the baggy flannel hiding your body from him while your fingers tangle in his hair and scratch over his shoulders and up his arms.

 He breaks the kiss to run his lips over the flushed flesh of your neck, he whispers into your skin between each kiss “Tell me to stop.” He pulls at the collar of the flannel to kiss the curve of your neck. “I’ve waited so long for this, please tell me to stop. Tell me to wait.”

You push his head further into the crook of your neck as you tilt your head further to give him better access. “I don’t want you to.” He sucks a mark into the skin right below your ear and you pull his tucked in shirt from his pants with an elated moan. 

His clumsy fingers fight to unbutton the oversized flannel as yours attempt to unbutton his jeans. You reach your goal before he does and waste no time capitalizing on your victory. You dip your hand in just enough to fish his growing erection from his briefs and wrap your hand around it. 

Hyunjin moans at the stimulation, leaning his forehead against yours and squeezing his eyes shut as you stroke him slowly. “Fuck, please don’t, I wont - I can’t last.”

 You kiss his temple softly, whispering reassurance that you don’t care to have him last, you just want to have him. Once he’s centered himself again he continues his struggle to expose your body to him. The final button falls open like the curtain to a play and he stares down your scantily clad torso like an audience in awe. 

His hand moves on its own as he admires you. It dips into the waistband of your sweatpants and swipes over your clothed clit.

 Your head falls forward to rest on his shoulder with a quiet moan as he groans into the air. Your grip on his cock tightens a bit in response to the sensation and he hisses. “Please tell me I can feel you. Is it okay? Can I?” 

He doesn't want your first time to be here but he wants you. He needs you. 

Hyunjin hooks a finger into the damp gusset of your panties and pulls it to the side just enough to slip a finger into your waiting cunt. You pant in his ear, wanton moans bubble over the brim of your lips as his free hand cradles the side of your neck. “Look at me, please look at me, baby.”

 He runs his thumb over your cheek, brushing over the path of your dried tears. “So pretty, this must be a dream.” You shake your head. Speaking between moans. “Not a dream, baby.”

 He slips in another finger as you circle your palm over the head of his cock and you both moan. “Please tell me I can.” He leans his forehead against yours, his desperate eyes reflect the look in your own.

“You can. Please, I want you to.” 

“Have you ever thought about it?” He’s asking before he can process it and you’re shaking your head before he can even finish his sentence. A shy glaze washes over your desperate gaze as you watch him undress you.

 “You’re all I ever think about.” He whispers as he hooks his thumbs into the band of your pants. “You’re all I’ve wanted for the past year.” 

“I’ve loved you since my birthday.” You blurt out, vulnerable eyes peering into his. “Maybe even before that.” He runs a finger over your clothed cunt and you shudder under the touch.

“I wanted to kiss you the night of your birthday. You looked so beautiful but you were wasted. You wouldn’t have remembered. I just stared at you, I took your make-up off and I brushed the hair from your face and you stared back at me. I was just dying to kiss you. I was dying to confess.” Your hand runs slowly up his shaft and he swears that he feels electric. 

“I wanted to kiss you too.” He’s quiet, staring back at you with a smile. “That’s why I was staring”

“I kissed your forehead when you fell asleep.”  He pulls your panties down your legs, allowing them to pool at his feet with your sweatpants. “I knelt by your bed and whispered my confession to you.” 

His fingers are filling you again and you gasp while staring into his eyes. “I wanna hear it.” You whisper through a moan.

 “You want to hear my confession?” You nod, your gently fucked out gaze stares into his like your hypnotized by the moment. He scissors his finger into you, stretching you out just a bit before you’re gasping from the stretch of him replacing his fingers with his length. 

“Fuck, you’re inside of me.” Hyunjin stills with a groan. His forehead rests on your shoulder while he silently begs himself not to come undone just yet. He sucks in a breath before he recites all that he can remember. 

“You’re everything that I thought it would be to fall in love.” He whispers as he pulls back, thrusting into you slowly. “You really snuck up on me, I don’t know what I expected though.” He lifts his head to look at you as he sinks back into you. “You became my world so quickly. So effortlessly.”

 You cup his face with both of your hands as you bite back your moans. You want to hear him loud and clear. You want to remember every word. “I should’ve known that I’d fall in love when I first met you.” He picks up the pace, falling into a messy rhythm that’s accompanied by a fit of moans and grunts. 

He struggles to keep his eyes on you. They flutter shut with each thrust as he feels himself float closer and closer to his climax. “Baby, I won’t last.” You wrap your arms around his neck and one of his wraps around your waist while the other rests on your thigh before creeping over to softly pinch and rub your clit. 

“Hyune, you’re gonna make me - gonna -” He cuts you off with a sloppy kiss, his tongue brushes over your parted lips to request access before making room for itself against yours.

“If you tell me that you’re gonna cum I won’t last another second.” He whispers against your lips and you moan against his.

“What if I tell you that I love you.” Hyunjin’s eyebrows pinch at the confession. That’s way worse than telling him that you’re close. “I’ve loved you back for as long as - as long as you’ve loved me.”

“Rose, baby, you’re gonna -” It’s your turn to kiss him now, it’s a mess of teeth and tongue but you love it. You love him and him you.

 You both pull away in tandem, twin moans ripping through your chests as you both announce yourself to the other. 

“I’m cumming, I’m cumming.” Hyunjin pulls out of you, painting your thighs in his sticky white release while his fingers toy with your clit to ride you through your orgasm. It’s loud and messy and beautiful. A romantic elegance that you want to live in for as long as it’s available. 

Once you’ve both come down from your high Hyunjin kisses your sweaty forehead and you kiss his. He pulls his bottoms up before grabbing the cleanest paint rag he has to clean you up. A comfortable silence settles around you as you ground yourself and take in the space.

“You didn’t finish that one.”

He follows your gaze over to the painting of the pale pink rose. The middle of the canvas contrasts the rest with nothing but dull line art to show the completed picture. It looks like a work in progress. “I know, but I think I like it like that.” He looks back over at you and you at him.

“It looks like you."

It’s been seven months. Graduation has come and gone in the middle of your blooming relationship with Hyunjin and you’ve dedicated each and every second of your budding love to taming the flame. 

Each kiss from him has kept the spark of fear at bay and each touch has taught you how to stop running. It’s been a slow and cautious process that he is more than proud to be a part of. He takes pride in it. He takes pride in being with you.

The smooth breeze of late summer brushes against your skin as you step out of your car. The white dress that Hyunjin picked out for you sticks to you like paint on a canvas as you make your way up to the art gallery. 

It’s buzzing inside, people stand and stare in awe at each piece while whispering and pointing to their favorite details. You stop and stand in the middle of it all, taking it all in with a slow spin on the balls of your feet. You take in every corner until you turn around completely and you’re met with the face of the artist himself. 

“Hi.” Hyunjin smiles down at you, brown baggy flannel hanging from his shoulders. 

“Hi.” You stare back at him with a gleaming smile in your eyes. You take in every inch of him, scanning him like he should be framed and hanging on the walls around you. 

“Why are you staring at me like that?” Hyunjin wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you closer to him. “I like staring at you.” Your response makes him beam a shy smile. 

“You should be staring at the art. The artist might get sad if you don’t.” He kisses your forehead before letting you go. Some people around you stare over at the two of you with curious eyes. They’re eager to put a face to the muse of the showing artist. 

You take his hand and lead him over to the piece that a couple is walking away from. You stand in front of it hand in hand as you study it for what feels like the millionth time. “This one is my favorite.” The incomplete pale pink rose stares back at you.

“And why is that?” Hyunjin has that smile in his eyes as he stares up with you. The memory of this piece's origin plays behind his eyes like a memorized movie. 

“I’ve been told that it looks like me.” You lay your head on his shoulder and wrap your arm around his. A chill runs up his spine and he blames it on you. You and the love he feels glowing pink and white around you. 

“There you are.” History repeats itself as the lady that you’ve come to know as Dalia interrupts the two of you. “I wanted to check in with you, how does it feel to finally have your own exhibition?” 

Hyunjin smiles at her politely, turning towards her a bit with his fingers still threaded through yours. “It’s amazing. Thank you, you’ve done a wonderful job putting this together.” 

“Oh, please, it’s nothing. This is all you.” You watch her as her eyes smile just as they always have. Her hand brushes over his arm in a carefully calculated move. She’s still shameless and unprofessional. “This piece is my favorite. The unfinished look is unique and raw. What inspired this one?” 

You grin to yourself as you listen to her. She’s trying so hard that it’s difficult not to laugh. 

“Actually.” Hyunjin pulls your hand a bit, leading you forward so that you’re right next to him. It’s impossible for Dalia to ignore you now. Her eyes scan you reluctantly and the smile on her face falters for a second before she pulls it together. Gosh, that's gratifying. 

“My lovely rose here is the inspiration for it all.” Hyunjin looks over at you with a glow that is unmatched even by the largest of flames. “None of this would be possible without her.” 

It’s like Dalia disappears once Hyunjin looks over at you. You’re the only two in the room as far as you’re concerned. “Oh, well that’s just - that’s wonderful.” Her staggered speech pulls you both out of your loving haze. 

“Such a … sweet profession of love.” She glares over at you though you’re sure that in her head she’s doing a wonderful job at hiding her contempt. “I should make sure that everything is running smoothly. Please excuse me.” 

She clears her throat awkwardly before she departs, you and Hyunjin both bid her smiling farewells before turning to each other with wide smiles. “Show off.” You push his shoulder playfully and he laughs.

“I didn’t do anything.” You roll your eyes as you both wander over to the next piece on the wall. You stare up at the two pink roses in a lone vase, a shadow of sunlight casts down on them both as they rise towards its shining glow. 

A comfortable silence blankets the two of you while you listen to the soft buzz of the people around you. You squeeze his hand softly and he squeezes back just as you open your mouth to speak. 

“She still wants to fuck you.” He smiles 

“Shut up.”

Thank you for reading! I'd love to know what you thought about this fic! Leave a comment or send an ask to let me know! ❣️

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[tired-biscuit]

yuuji’s eyes. that is all. need to stare into his eyes as he cums down my throat

18+ MDNI, fem!reader

i think he’s such a loverboy and is so open about his feelings that he doesn’t mind eye contact at all.

sometimes it’s cute and innocent. like when he looks at you across the table whenever you go out to have dinner because you both felt like dressing up a little that night and enjoying a meal neither of you knows how to cook at home.

he’s still chewing when he tells you how pretty you look in your dress, trying to tone down the rosy blush that’s coating the apples of his cheeks, and you want to punch him in the shoulder and tell him to quit lying even if you just know that he isn’t doing so. after all, every time he looks at you his pupils expand like the goddamn dinner plates you’re eating off of. he’s so in love and his eyes tell you that — it can’t possibly be a ruse.

or when he looks at you with a comforting smile before he brings you in for a hug whenever you’re sad and need to be consoled. he can be a bad listener sometimes, he admits it, but this mere quirk of his lips that causes his eyes to wrinkle slightly at the corners just has the power to immediately make you feel at least a little bit better no matter how bad the situation at hand is.

he looks at you like he sees you, you know? all of you. and what is that if not comfort?

but other times it can be… a bit more twisted, too. like when he’s eating you out for example.

you’re writhing atop the crumpled bed sheets while he goes down on you, back trying to lift from the mattress in a perfect lust-stricken arch, and he just looks up at you. stares right into your very soul, where everything is so tender and vulnerable, with this dazed, pussy drunk gaze that has you feeling hot all over and has you clenching with climax the second his fingers hit that equally as tender and vulnerable spot that’s hiding deep inside you and his tongue eagerly presses against your clit.

or whenever you’re sitting on his lap, riding him. he’s lazily sucking on your nipple while your bodies work that slow rhythm that’s got you both feeling so fucking good; pink cupid’s bow quivering with pleasure around it as he looks up at you from underneath his pretty lashes. his brow is slick with sweat, and it furrows deeply whenever you lift your hips up and slam them down just as deep, taking him as much of his thick length as you possibly can.

he loves this position. secretly loves being used like some kind of boy toy even if he’s well aware that he means much more to you than that. you can feel his cock twitch with excitement whenever the eye contact is made during sex even if he can barely keep his lids from squeezing shut because of how close to cumming he is. his mouth opens as he pulls back to pant and catch his breath to try and stop himself from rutting into you like an animal in heat, a thin string of glimmering saliva still connecting him to you, and it’s like there are literal hearts appearing in the spot where his pupils should be.

he just becomes so stupid and horny and obsessed with you whenever your panties come off… and whenever they don’t, too. this obsession, this love that he harbours for you — it shows itself in his eyes. always.

and he’s so direct with it and brave about it. he’s looked you in the eyes the first time he’s introduced himself to you with that sheepish grin and awkward hello. the first time he’s gathered the courage to ask you out. the first time you’ve slept together. when he said his first i love you, hell, he’ll probably do it even when he says his last.

and speaking of eyes; yuuji’s are so warm. so kind and friendly, charming and full of love — just like he is. sweet honey swirls inside them whenever he smiles and laughs that laugh that makes your tummy tighten with butterflies that just want to drown in the sugary nectar. they make him look like a puppy that you just want to squeeze and hug and kiss until the end of times. they truly are like a window to his soul and heart.

he just… he can make you feel like you’re his dreamgirl whenever he looks at you.

and it’s because you are.

[kotoku]

hellooo, sunday and aventurine comforting teen!reader who is crying?

ꜱᴜɴᴅᴀʏ ᴀɴᴅ ᴀᴠᴇɴᴛᴜʀɪɴᴇ ᴄᴏᴍꜰᴏʀᴛɪɴɢ ᴛᴇᴇɴ! ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ᴡʜᴏ'ꜱ ᴄʀʏɪɴɢ

pairings - sunday & teen! reader / aventurine & teen! reader

content - reader is gender-neutral/ teen! reader/ platonic relationships/ familial relationships/ angst with comfort/ crying! reader

warnings - just teeny angst

⋘ ʟᴏᴀᴅɪɴɢ... ⋙

↻ When Sunday sees you crying, he immediately goes to comfort you

↺ Kneeling next to you or sitting beside you and rubbing your back comfortingly, letting you cry and ramble to him about whatever had made you so upset

↺ Depending on the reason, he might be livid or deeply sad for you, but he’d never show it as he wants to focus on you 

↻ He’d be very quiet, opting to listen to you first before asking if you wanted any advice or help

↺ If you want his advice/help, he’d gladly lend you a helping hand and offer some recommendations, if you just want him to listen, he’d stay by your side and offer a box of tissues here and there

↻ When you have finished crying, he’d wipe away any stray tears and provide some more tissues for your nose

↻ I can imagine his voice being very soothing, basically lulling you to sleep because crying had exhausted you

↻ Once you had fallen asleep, he’d tuck you into bed and leave more tissues by your bedside, either that or on a nearby table if you fell asleep on a couch

↺ No matter where you are, Sunday will make sure to stay by your side to assure your safety and security until he deems it is safe enough to leave

↻ Your state is much more important to him than business matters; postponing any meetings and calls to make sure you’re okay

↺ Of course, he won’t neglect his duties and will get back to them at a later time (with a notification in advance)

↻ If someone was the cause of your distress, he’d happily deal with them personally, the anger in him masked by a calm and professional persona (we’ve seen his manipulative side)

↻ All in all, Sunday would be a great person to confide in if you are feeling upset about something (lending an ear, always making sure to have tissues or a handkerchief on him, giving optimal advice…)

↻ Aventurine would have a bit of a hard time comforting you through your emotions, but he's trying his best !!

↺ He’s not as good at confronting his own emotions and chooses to not let them show, but he’d rather you openly express yourself than keep it in

↻ His way of comforting you would be listening to you talk or letting you cry, and then he’d love to take you on a shopping spree afterward to help cheer you up

↺ Aventurine taking you to a diner to get food, him taking you clothes shopping, doing something fun, etc..

↺ Even if you persisted that you were fine and didn’t need him spending his money on you, he’d do it anyway

↻ I can imagine him struggling with being sincere or genuine, but he’d try his best to give you thoughtful advice and recommendations (he might have a hard time coming up with advice depending on the situation)

↻ Aventurine awkwardly hugging you if you went straight to hugging him lol, he’s caught off guard

↺ He’d probably awkwardly pat/rub your back too 

↻ He’d hand you a handkerchief that he keeps on him to help dry your tears or snot (holding it away from himself after taking it back from you, he probably discards it somewhere)

↺ Aventurine would get you anything that you need at the moment; ice cream, tissues, etc.. 

↻ Like Sunday, depending on the reason that caused you to be so upset he may be angry or understanding of the situation

↺ If the source was a person, he’d keep a mental note of who and may do a bit of background research during his free time

↻ Overall, Aventurine may not be the best at comforting you, but he’s trying his best to be there for you when you need him, showing it in his own way :)

⋘ ᴄᴏᴍᴘʟᴇᴛᴇ! ⋙

note - i didn't do a drabble at the ending of the headcanons, sorry for it being so short. :(

[sephirthoughts]

Vincent’s lingering obsession with Lucrecia is excellent drama, but their story is not a doomed romance.

This is an unpopular opinion, but I don’t think Lucrecia deserves nearly as much pity and excusing of her actions as she gets. This is not character-hate post, it's an analysis of a character I think gets short shrift as a Mother-Mary in a bell jar, and deserves better.

Lucrecia is morally grey. Charcoal grey. I love complex, morally grey characters, particularly when they're women, since usually women are relegated to roles that infantilize and objectify them, particularly in video games, which have historically been a very backward, androcentric medium. I strongly dislike brainless victims, subject to the whims of the male characters, without much agency, and Lucrecia was not such a character.

Lucrecia was an adult with agency and brains. She was a grown ass adult. She was a brilliant scientist. She made decisions with her eyes open, and even sacrificed her unborn child to her work. She is a very interesting character. The fact that she didn't idolize motherhood as the end-all of female existence, and that her obsession with her work was stronger than her desire to be a 'good mother' makes her far more interesting than otherwise. The fact that she regretted it later and wanted him back doesn’t magically make her a good person, or change the choices she made. It demonstrates guilt and remorse, which are part of character development. The bottom line is that she committed atrocities in the name of science, then felt guilty about it later, once she realized how devastating the consequences were to her personally. To say she didn’t know what she was doing or Hojo manipulated or controlled her is to infantilize and disrespect her character. She’s not some sacrificial angel who was a victim of circumstances; she was a willing participant in her own downfall.

Lucrecia is a tragic character, but she's not a romantic lead. Except in Vincent's head. After all was said and done, she had one of those too-late changes of heart that make tragedy so emotionally impactful. She had a human reaction to Vincent's death and felt terribly guilty for her role in all of it, as she should. That doesn't mean she loved him, it means she wasn't a monster. She lost her son, and gradually, Hojo's callous inhumanity and her inability to escape the net she wove with her own hands closed in on her. Did she deserve to never hold her baby son and never see him even once? No. But she caused it, with her own actions. That's tragedy. She was miserable, bereft, and riddled with guilt, so she made a last-ditch effort to make something right...by doing more insane science shit that turned Vincent into a monster. Seeing that she'd only made everything worse, she tried to kill herself, but was unable to, and thus ran off to become a crystal statue in a cave (this is a trope that I dislike, but that's the story, so that's what we've got).

Vincent is a bad judge of the circumstances. Vincent persists in seeing her as a lost love, and someone from whom he was unjustly separated by circumstances. The fact that he is so blinded by his feelings for her that he places her on this pedestal and can't blame her for what she did is excellent characterization, and I love it, but it's because he’s wrong. He loved her. She didn’t love him (I think she was in love with his father, but that's just icing on the tragedy cake, at this point). His lingering attachment, not to the real Lucrecia, but to the idealized version of her he has in his mind, is a very sad reality that adds so much delicious pain to his character. In the end, he is unable to blame her, because he loved his image of her (and Hojo is a way easier target for anger, because he's literally the worst), which speaks far more to his personal bias in the situation than to her actual role in it. She’s not moustache-twirlingly evil like Hojo but she’s not Vincent's star cross'd soul mate tragically torn away by cruel fate. Lucrecia was her own person.

In summation. Their story is not a doomed romance, it's a complicated, messy, ugly tangle of thorns, and one of the best written tragedies in a game that literally bleeds tragedy from every orifice. It's got one-sided love, obsession, mad science, betrayal, jealousy, fetal experimentation, murder, corpse reanimation, and a guy who can't die, and is left to deal with the consequences of everyone else's actions by himself forever. No one is innocent and no one comes out unscathed…strike that. Vincent is innocent and Hojo comes out unscathed. But still. Lucrecia is not a holy mother, she's not a brainless victim, and she's not Vincent's lost love. She's a person he loved, and who didn't reciprocate. Most importantly, she's a person. A whole-ass, complex, morally grey, fully developed person, who made terrible choices, then made even worse choices, and in the end, couldn't escape the fate she wove for herself.

And then wound up encased in crystal so she could be a pretty statue forever cause the game devs just couldn't help themselves I guess.

[daffi-990]

WIP Wednesday

Tagged by @diazsdimples @shipperqueen6 @elvensorceress @loserdiaz @dangerpronebuddie @inell @wikiangela. Thank you lovelies for the tags ❤️

I actually have something to share today! It’s not much, but I managed to write 700 or so words for LA Lonely 🏙️ and I’m just feeling very happy that I was able to write something (the writing beans are taking a well earned vacation after Rivals).

Prev snippet from this fic here.

Buck takes his place by Bobby’s side as they welcome the teachers and children to the firehouse and begin their tour. They start with the engines and the ambulance and finish up in the loft where the kids each get a turn sliding down the fireman’s pole.

They’re halfway through the class, a very eager red headed boy launching himself forward to wrap himself around the pole, when Buck spots one of the kids, Christopher, sitting by himself looking sad.

Christopher had been extremely enthusiastic the whole tour, and while most kids wanted to know if they had a Dalmatian at the station, Christopher had asked questions like does 911 stay on the line throughout an entire call and do fire trucks have water in them, or do they always have to find a hydrant. Both Bobby and Buck had been surprised but delighted to answer whatever questions the kid threw their way.

Buck signals Chim to take over helping the kids slide down the pole (Bobby is downstairs at the other end) then walks over and sits down next to Chrsitopher who is fiddling with the hand grip on one of his crutches.

“Hey Christopher.” The boy looks up at Buck as he sits down, then drops his gaze back down to his feet. Buck gently bumps the boys side with his elbow, “Not a fan of the fire pole? I wasn’t either when I was kid.”

“I can’t hold on tight enough,” Christopher says quietly, then adds solemnly, “and I can’t stop myself at the bottom because of my legs.”

“Do you want to go down the fire pole?” Buck asks.

“Yes,” Christopher admits, “but I can’t do it by myself.”

“Well good thing you don’t have to.” Buck says cheerfully, flashing Christopher a smile. Christopher looks at him, a mix of confusion and hope making his face crinkle adorably. “I’ll stand down the bottom of the pole and reach up so I can help you slide down!”

Christopher’s face lights up. “Really?”

“Of course! What’s the point of having big strong muscles,” Buck says as he flexes his arms causing Christopher to giggle, “if I don’t get to use them to help people.”

No pressure tagging: @hippolotamus @spotsandsocks @madneywedding @smilingbuckley @wildlife4life @watchyourbuck @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove @sibylsleaves @sunshinediaz @spagheddiediaz @steadfastsaturnsrings @shitouttabuck @rainbow-nerdss @exhuastedpigeon @eddiebabygirldiaz @fiona-fififi @fortheloveofbuddie @giddyupbuck @thewolvesof1998 @theotherbuckley @tizniz @honestlydarkprincess @homerforsure @hoodie-buck @lover-of-mine @jeeyuns @jesuisici33 @captain-hen @bekkachaos @neverevan @ladydorian05 @missmagooglie @monsterrae1 and as always, anyone else who has something they want to share, consider this your official tag 🏷️

[queerbuckleys]

i made a short post here referring to my own experiences and wanted to expand on it, you can reblog both of these posts btw. I am only writing this all down because the way some of you have spoken about chris and his decision very much bothers me. trust when i tell you i do not want to completely lay out my trauma on the internet for all of you to read, but if it makes one of you understand why this works, why it is important, then it will have been worth it to me.

When I was 12 my father was diagnosed with frontal temporal dementia. the adults in my family and his doctors decided that it was best for him to be moved to a a full time care facility. The next year, and after hearing, seeing, and understanding my father's condition and where it would go, I, at thirteen years old, made the decision to say goodbye to him, that I did not want to hear about what levels of deterioration he had reached. I wanted to remember him as he was when he remembered me, and all the adventures and fun things we did together.

I made that decision. I made it because it was easier than watching him deteriorate, forget who his sister, his brother, my brother, my mother, and me. And I knew that at twelve and thirteen. It was never a decision I ever thought I would have to make, it wasn't a decision I should've had to make.

Now, the important part, over the next few years my decision was questioned and ignored by the adults in my life and even my brother, some of the questioning I can understand now that I am older, but it should have never reached the level it did. My aunt and uncle would openly discuss his condition over dinner when he came to visit, and I would run away to the restaurant bathroom and cry my eyes out until my mom came to get me. I was forced into visiting him in his care home, which ended with it causing far more harm than good. Only then was my decision somewhat respected, it took me being retraumatized for it to be taken seriously.

Despite all of that, I do not regret that decision.

I can't know how I would be different if none of that happened. But at this point in my live, eleven years and some therapy later, I am fairly certain I would be less traumatized, carry less resentment and anger, if maybe my mom had spoken up at those dinners and made arrangements to get updates without me next to her trying to enjoy my pizza. Had I not had to see my own father forget my name and then have some sort of mini medical emergency. Had my brother heard me in a way only a sibling could.

So, yes, Christopher at thirteen made a indefinite and truly most likely temporary decision to remove himself from an environment where he doesn't fully trust his sole and primary caregiver. He knows his dad loves him, Eddie made that so clear. And it could really be 5 minutes, 5 days, 5 weeks, and so on and so forth until Christopher is ready to come home. And him knowing that Eddie respected his decision and loves him no matter what is what is going to make that time shorter. If he had walked out with his father begging him to stay, to forgive him before he was ready, the chances of him coming back would in my opinion would be far slimmer than the circumstances under which he did leave.

with that i leave you this, "yeah people go away. and it's sad. and it hurts. but you know, not everyone goes away forever. sometimes they come back. and as much as we miss them, that's how happy we are to see them again."

[moonstruckme]

Hey! Unsure what happened but I copy+pasted a request into my doc and now it's gone :( Anyway to whoever sent this, thank you!

Request: can i request hurt/comofort with high!reader x buzzed!sirius (or poly!mar whatever you’d like) where reader smokes a little more then she can handle and he takes care of her but he’s like still a little high himself, if that makes sense TT just nice and lovey and dovey!!!!

cw: weed, greening out, mention of vomit/nausea

Sirius Black x fem!reader ♡ 727 words

Sirius is trying to be comforting, but he keeps getting distracted by the feel of your back underneath his hand. The muscles of your shoulders are tight, your breathing stilted and your skin shiny with a thin layer of sweat. Sirius can’t stop thinking about how he’d like to rest his face in between your shoulder blades and kiss an adoring line down your spine. He worries it wouldn’t be very helpful. 

“I’m sorry.” Your voice is quieter than breath, a soft sigh drooping your shoulders as you let your head loll forward. 

Your body starts to list forward with it. Sirius weaves his arm under yours, settling down more comfortably on the bathroom floor and pulling you back against his chest. 

“I’m sorry, baby.” He kisses the crown of your head. “I should have warned you about this. I need to remember to be careful with you.” 

Caution isn’t really in Sirius’ nature, but however unwisely, you put a lot of trust in him. The weed you’d smoked tonight was a different strain than the one he’s shared with you before, but he’d forgotten to clue you in. You’d matched him hit for hit, and with your lower tolerance it hadn’t ended well. You’ve been sick more than once. 

“You’re so nice,” you whisper. Your voice sounds tight. Sirius’ chest contracts, worrying you’re starting to get teary. “You don’t have to take care of me, but you are. You’re so, so nice.” Definitely teary now. “I’m really sorry for ruining your night.” 

“Aw, sweetheart.” He kisses the side of your face with something akin to desperation. He already feels like his heart is going to spill right out of his ribcage, and your upset makes it about ten times worse. “You’re not ruining anything. Of course I have to take care of you, you’re my girl, you know? I want to.” 

He peers around you, trying to see your face. You’ve got that same, slightly spaced-out look you’ve had for the past hour, a sad little line between your brows. Sirius reaches up to smooth it out with his finger, and you turn toward him like you’d forgotten he was there. He wonders if this much affection can actually crush his bones to dust. It feels plausible.

“I love you,” he says. 

You sigh, fitting your head into the crook of his neck and shoulder. It’s not a happy sound, but he knows it’s not meant for him. “You, too.” 

You take his hand, turning it palm up and tracing the lines in his skin. Your touch is so light it tickles. He has a small scar from a failed attempt at cooking with James when he first moved out, and when you get to it you raise his palm to your lips, resting them there purposefully. 

“Can I have a hug?” you mumble against his skin. 

“Fuck yeah, always.” 

Sirius does the work of turning you around, your own coordination not spectacular at the moment, and your arms curl under his arms, wrists crossing between his shoulder blades. He thinks your hands might be making fists. For his part, he rubs up and down your spine slowly, squeezing intermittently, unsure how much you want. Sirius has always been shit at comfort. He’ll keep trying as long as you let him.

“I don’t like this,” you admit. Your face feels warm where it’s pressing into his shoulder, and Sirius realizes you might be crying again. He hugs you harder. “I can’t think.” 

He feels, very acutely, his heart fracturing. “Oh, baby,” he murmurs, “I’m so sorry. I know it’s awful.” 

“I’m scared,” you whimper. 

“I know, sweet girl.” He may well be crushing you now. If your ribs are breaking, you don’t seem inclined to say anything about it. “You’ll be okay, though, I promise. I’ve got you. Just try to relax, and I’ll take care of you, yeah?” You don’t respond, sniffling. Sirius rubs your back again. “Do you feel like you’re going to be sick any more, darling?” 

“I don’t know. I don’t think so.” 

“Alright, my lovely. Let’s go to bed, okay? You might feel better when you wake up.” 

You hug him tighter. “Thank you for being so nice to me.” 

“Wrong again,” he says, tucking a kiss into your hair. “I’m not nice to you, I just love you too much.” 

[shineonyoucrazyyandere]

Which joestar do you think would be the worst yandere? And why

Pick your poison! I like to think the Joestar’s all have their little traits that shine the most based on their personality (so whose the worst can depend on what you’re uncomfortable with). Going to do just the og verse jojo’s for this 1-6.

Jonathan : Very sweet almost intoxicatingly so, but he tends to end up a bit overprotective/just a bit babying. Insisting he does things for you, if you have some issue somewhere else? Why not let him resolve it. Don’t fret over too much he has the means to take care of you. There might be a time or two your room might be locked if you’re a little more stubborn than usual

Joseph: What is this thing called “personal space” ? It almost sounds like a foreign language to this man. He totally didn’t mess certain things up so you happen to meet up with him. Not sure why your date stood you up? He couldn’t possibly give an answer other than they’re not worth your time since they didn’t bother showing up. He should take you to this great place he loves going to after a long day.

Jotaro: Stalking type usually, and mows past anything that he might feel gets in the way of you and himself. He’s used to punks, so he’s not afraid to pummel someone if they don’t get the message to scram. When it comes to classes, he’s glancing at you every so often, maybe there’s a “doodle” or two in his notebook. Need to walk somewhere? He’ll walk with you. If you’re hiding out to be alone, he ends up finding you. You’re probably the reason he learns any building’s layout in the first place. Clubs or class cleaning doesn’t stop Jotaro either, he’ll wait as long as it takes. Being sick at home doesn’t stop him either, usually there’s some kind of hot soup/dish that’s good to eat while sick sitting in your room somehow. (Not to mention potential kidnapping later down the line if you’re not really cooperating)

Later Parts like 4 and 6, he’s pretty similar in dropping you off things even if you never once told him your address. (He has a decent memory of these things). Similarly Jotaro has any phone numbers you have in his contacts, and he’ll have a talk personally with anyone that he isn’t fond of approaching you. He tends to have you in the back of his mind while out on his studies, or writing a paper, and yet again drawings somewhere he’s compelled to place them. Every so often he checks in on you (whether you want this or not doesn’t matter). Broken down car? It’s either replaced swiftly or he’s driving you places himself. Maybe he somehow (forces) nudges you to live with him.

Josuke : He’s head over heels for you, and similar to Joseph he’s going to take any opportunity to squeeze himself into your life. He just so happens to have some leftover lunch from that place you like? You looked sad when they had sold out of your favorite meal there, so why doesn’t he help with that? Speaking of, maybe your eyes are drifting somewhere else. He steals any potential love letters to a crush and rewrites them, making it look like you’re confessing to him. He may also leave one of your favorite treats you like in its place. It’s an enigma to you how he found that out.

Giorno : He’s the don of the Italian mafia, he’s almost constantly worried about you. So if he has eyes on you, it’s almost immediate you lose autonomy whether born in Italy or a tourist. He’s clever in his ways to trap you, whether you’re resistant or not doesn’t matter. (he does think you’re cute with a strong head on your shoulders). There’s some of that charisma he possess all the same just like his father. Even if it doesn’t work on you, it makes others around you to trap you easily. Giorno likes to think he gives you a lot of leeway with voluntarily coming to him. He’ll meet you casually in coffee shops or wherever you’re willing to shop at. The bill is covered without you having to say a word. Any cash you used is miraculously brought back to you somehow. The blond isn’t afraid to get his hands a little dirty however when it comes to you. If he has to take something for you to step into his arms (whether it’s your ability to walk around outside or someone close to you) he’ll do whatever it takes.

Jolyne : Sure she stalks somewhat, but like her father she can be bold in taking care of the competition. She’s not afraid to hold your hand or finding a way for you two to do so. Eavesdropping is something she does occasionally, and anyone that wants to stomp on your heart is going to get stomped themselves. She does delay you with stone free (or outright captures you) if Jolyne doesn’t want you to leave. It’s impossible to shake her off, no matter what you try to do. Of course she made a copy of your apartment key, what if there’s an emergency? Maybe she wanted to make you breakfast. Huh? What do you mean she can’t just walk in unannounced? Don’t be ridiculous.

[yan-lorkai]

Hi, so I've read the rules, but I'm not sure how much I can ask for. Can I get a headcanon about the TWST Housewardens finding out that the GN! reader has a boyfriend? Oh, and the reader's boyfriend is just some random student NPC in their dorms. If it's too much, just some of them reacting would be cool. Thanks!

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ A/N: Finally done, yay! Been a while since I wrote for all the housewardens so it is a little lengthy. Hope u enjoy, darling!

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Tw: Yandere content, stalking, implied violence and kidnapping.

He's been watching you this whole time, feeling his heart beat inside his chest whenever he heard your sweet laugh and saw you smiling. His feelings slowly start to grow as you become friends, but there's just one problem: You have a boyfriend. What an unpleasant surprise! Well, what a shame that your boyfriend will disappear under suspicious circumstances that will never be resolved and he will be right here by your side to comfort you :)

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Azul know just what to do. He plots and plans and trap your boyfriend on a deal he can't refuse. It's a tricky deal, trickier than usual, I mean, a one in a lifetime chance, whatever it is. However you won't never know what happened to him, not when you come to Azul asking if he knows something, not when he is comforting you and rubbing your back as you cry while he pretends to be just as sad as you. As if he ever feel sad to lead your boyfriend to his demise when he can have you like this, when he can mend your heart himself and love you like you deserve. Though when you recover Azul will show you just how devotion and love truly feels. He has been deprived of it for too long, bullied and teased, and he will have you, even if you found out about the deal, even if you claim to hate him, he can bear it.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Kalim is a sweetheart on the surface level, so happy all the time, so friendly. But he is oh so suffocating, always touching your arm and pulling you into a hug, kissing your cheeks and forehead and laughing when you tell him to knock it off. People always tend to assume he is your boyfriend and tell you that you too are a very cute couple, and they're always shocking when you tell them that Kalim isn't your boyfriend but just your bestie. Not yet, at least. On an intimate level, he likes to think about what to do with your actual boyfriend. People love money more than they love humans. Can he bribe him? If so, how can he guarantee that he won't go back on his word? Or should him send Jamil to do his dirty work? Mmm, so many options, either way, by the end of the month your boyfriend will disappear and you will need a friendly shoulder to lean on and Kalim is more than happy to be there for you.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Idia already has Ortho investigating this student and is so easy to watch him since he is in Ignyhide. He isn't worthy your time, your love and care, he is but a little plankton, not very smart or interesting, Idia don't know what you had seen on your actual boyfriend but he is never going to tell this to your face. Instead, he invite you to his room to play and study, assuming a more softer approach about this little problem than most yanderes, telling you how your boyfriend has been acting strange and visiting another person's room for a very long period of time. He even show you a very factual and not at all fabricated camera footage as a proof. Idia considers himself a very good friend when he comfort you and wipes your angry tears, telling that you deserve better, that he can treat you better. After all, it wasn't your fault that your boyfriend was a cheater. And Idia can show you what true love is.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Vil is horrified about your taste in men. Like, really, Liebling? You love this... Thing? Well, He has to give recognition where it is due and as a Pomefiore student, your boyfriend tried to polish and better himself. Though it wasn't enough. He wouldn't be good enough for you even in thousand years. Vil likes to imagine how he would take care of you, love you, polish you. He likes to imagine how he'd let down his walls around you and told funny stories from his movies or backstage gossips. Knowing you have a boyfriend kinda of shatter those thoughts. He tried to be happy for you, he really tried but in the end he couldn't help himself. So he created a potion, so sweet and yummy, and gave it to your boyfriend. Simple as that. Having you crying on his lap was just a bonus, a bonus Vil would cherish dearly.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Malleus has what he wants. And he wants you. It's only natural that things will fall in order after he states his claim on you, every single little thing start to goes wrong in your relationship and you, stressed and sad, tells Malleus every single thing while he comforts you. Sweet words are whispered in your ears, great dreams greets you everytime you sleep and in your dreams you are always so happy by Malleus's side, exploring woods and swimming in lakes, petting sheeps and listening to the birds singing. Simple things. Great things. While you sleep, Malleus send nightmares to your boyfriend, makes him so horrified and paranoid that he can't even form coherent thoughts. He wants you and he will have you, even if he has to tear you two apart like this, since your boyfriend took to isolate and murmur to himself.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Riddle doesn't like this. He quite dislike your boyfriend a lot, he is messy, a rule breaker, a bad student, he isn't worthy your time and love. Riddle is consumed by a jealousy that make him see red, nowadays he is always collaring your boyfriend, always making him busy so you two can spend less time together. And if you come to Heartslabyu to try and spend time with him, Riddle will just lie to you and tell you he didn't do anything and has no idea about what you're talking about. Yes, he gaslight you. But he is doing that because he knows what's good to you and that is certainty not your boyfriend. Instead, he fills your head with doubts and lies, and takes you to the Unbirthday party so you can have a little fun. Savor the present moment, the little snarky jokes Riddle tells you and the delicious tea. Forget about your boyfriend before Riddle takes matters into another level.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Leona is smug. Like, really? You love this guy? He is so much better than your boyfriend, more smarter, stronger, he huffs whenever he see you two being all cute and chummy together. He should be the one holding you, kissing you, cuddling you. You are his precious mate so he put all his effort in conquering your heart and love. And when Leona is determined to do something there's nothing in the whole world that can make him stop. He plans and make so many strategies in order to be successful all the while he has Ruggie making the dirty work for him. Kill him, bribe him, whatever, Leona will make you a single person again before making you fall in love with him. Even if he has to turn your boyfriend into dust, he will without thinking twice.

[reyreadersblog]

YK WHAT I HATE THE MOST?

Gender inequality. Even in the books.

Okay, so this might sound stuqid, but you'll get where i'm coming from..(if you don't then i'm an idiot and don't mind me)

As an exa

i'll use TIG book series as an example. I love all Hawthorne brothers, truly i do (and i wish they were real) and if i'm being honest they might be one of the best book bfs out there, my main problem is how overshadowed FMC, Avery Grambs, is by them. So you meant to tell me you find many flaws in her character but don't find any in the brotherss??? Hey i love them all, but they made mistakes, many mistakes too, starting from Xander (i'm not sure about him) and ending with Nash.

"Oh..Avery was boring.." "She shouldn't have donated that much money" "she doesn't listen to anyone" "Avery was dumb" "Avery was meanie" STFU. First of all she is one of the most intersting characters, it's her money and she can use it however she wants, she was naturally smart girl and EVEN THOUGH she made mistakes she is still the best character in the books. I HATE the way fandom ignores every mistakes the boys made, Like..let's take Jameson as an example..i love him, but he also made bad desicions, like..using Avery..hiding the truth..and more.

Avery Kylie Grambs is an icon and she's better than any Hawthorne brother. Here i said it.

Now let's move on to Alisa (you can not make me hate or dislike her) she made mistakes for sure, she was mean to Libby (on my previous posts i explained why i think she was rude to her..but anyway..) but that's the thing again.. GRAYSON? He is litearlly my favourite character but i can admit he definetley messed up in certian situations, if you're saying Alisa was mean to Libby...then Grayson's behaviour staight up deserves jail, bcs he litearlly threatened a heiress...

How i wish that to be his only mistake but he made tons, TONS of them and majority of the fandom chose to ignore, (bcs he's hot), but when it comes to Alisa..when she made a mistake, by being slight rude towards Libby, out of jealousy...fandom goes crazy, saying she's very bad character, a meanie, insicure. And why? Bcs she's not a hot male character, in fact she's a independent female characater..and of course she's going to get hate on her every move..

And the sad thing is this happens in almost evey fandom, female characters who are independent, headstrong..have their own mind and opinions, ALWAYS get hate, Avery Grambs, Alisa Ortega,Donatella Dragna, Pip fitz-Amobi, Annabeth Chase, Wren Greenwrock, Nina Zenik, America Singer..

this no hate post, i respect your opinion, and i do love Hawthorne brother, this is just something that needed to be said.

[urpaperboy]

Desolation

A YV Fan Au created by me !! Mateo/urpaperboy !! :)

Hi !! So I made these doodles on the whiteboard that @itsargyle made and got going on here rn and well people were interested in me talking about it so here I am !!

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Welcome to Desolation, A Steampunk styled YV Fan AU !!

The Term Desolation means - a state of complete emptiness or destruction or anguished misery or loneliness.

This was fan product I created back in 2021 and have and continued growing along side a couple of my friends in the YV community, and while although I haven’t written anything about it, I know how both the story begins and ends. So let’s talk about that !!

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The Plot

Everyone has their beginnings, middles, and ends. Everyone's beginnings either start bright or tragic. In this story, we follow the life of Seth, one whose beginnings started both bright and tragic and ended bright and tragic too. Seth is the so called “proud inventor” of the town, ones who inventions are beloved by many people around him, including Alphonse, which Seth has grown to love and care for and hopes to have a future with. But when tragedy strikes amongst the two, it sends Seth down a path of Desolation. But to keep his beloveds memory alive, he invents what can only be his greatest creation and the possible escape from his grief. But with that, comes a price, that the two of them must face and pay with in Blood and Tears, and possibly Oil too.

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The Characters

Seth

- Seth in this AU of mine is the main protagonist of the story. He’s an inventor !! Again, the “proud inventor” of the town he lives in. He has made many things for everyone and even owns a small shop in the town where people can view what he is creating just by looking through a window. Although most see him as a bit of a weird person for focusing their life to the inventions, the entire town loves him !! He has made himself quite a popular one in the town. But of course, he faces his own struggles and grievances, especially now that he knows the man he fell in love with, is now gone. But with the creation of his biggest invention ever, he hopes that maybe his broken heart can be healed and made anew, but unfortunately not everyone gets that.

Alphonse/A.I.phonse

- Alphonse is technically a protagonist too but not in the way you expect. For the first few parts of the story he runs a small business of selling sugars and sweets, which is actually running very well. And (and this is completely obvious) he has a rather close relationship with Seth (hehe crush moment), but unfortunately, his story comes to an end. But when tragedy strikes, something new blooms.

Meet A.I.phonse, A Robot created in Seth’s image in the hopes to keep a small resemblance of Alphonse alive, sounds a bit psycho but I promise it’s not. Throughout the story, he is there to help Seth Process his Grief, and help him attempt to continue with His Life. He learns like a newborn child in the world, he learns about life and other things. But as he grows, the realization of existence begins to become his biggest question.

Finn/Jack

Finn and Jack are one of the closest friends Seth. They are the one who help him out whenever Alphonse can’t. Finn has his flower shop which Jack works in too. When Alphonse dies, The Two boys make it their goal to at least keep Seth happy, although it is rather difficult considering Alphonse literally dies in Seth’s Arms so it was a rather traumatic experience and definitely difficult to try and keep someone happy after that. But although the challenge is difficult, they keep trying, because who wants to see their friend sad?

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These are the other characters that are in the story but can’t really write much about at the moment

- Charlie

- Derek (he’s obviously a the antagonist)

- Jessie

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That’s currently what I can share so far !! I’ll post a character line up of all the characters when I fix them up and actually do it soooo yeah !!

If you have any questions for me about this AU, my inbox is open, I’d be happy to answer these questions !!

- Mateo ⭐️

[fanaticsnail]

Update on what's going on in the Snail Household

If you're just new to my account, you'd likely not know that chef-husband (how I refer to my husband here) had broken his shoulder in late January, had complications in recovery, had been off work for nearly 5 months to nurse the injury back to health.

I'll put the update under a break here to not take up too much space on your device. If you take the time out of your day to read here, I love you 🖤

He has returned to work now, which is amazing. His apprentices and coworkers had missed him so much, and he is so glad to be back. He is attending some physio appointments and rehabilitative therapies to regain strength - and he is doing very well. I'm so proud of him.

The two breaks were within his armpit, the bone where the socket meets the join. There are also several debris still in there and his ligaments are still very tender from splitting them and the cartilage apart on impact. The injury happened at work, so every medical expense has been covered by his workplace.

While he has enjoyed being back at work, he has been missing home time with Young-Sir & Dottir-Bean (my 4yo & 3yo) and they have been missing their dad when he goes - especially my son when he does the night shift.

I am very proud of him for returning to work, but I do miss him at home too. Very selfish of me to love my husband so much to want him home. 11 years of relationship, almost 9 years of marriage, and he's still my best friend and love of my life. Something about tall men with broad shoulders, who are kind and compassionate, who smoke to cope with stresses at work...

Now that I've said all that, here's a little going on with me, currently.

I am recovering from the flu right now, still all gross and foggy and blocked nosey. The kids have had it and it's always my turn to get it last. It's gross, and I am surviving on black coffee, honey and lemon tea, paracetamol, and numbing throat lozenges.

Now for the uncomfy stuff.

I've had to say goodbye to a friendship of 15 years with someone who, once upon a time, was very important to me. He wrote me a handwritten letter that hurt me very deeply and came across a little yandere. It made me very uncomfortable reading it. Yandere belongs in books fanfiction, not in real life.

The letter was given to me at the Star Wars themed wedding I attended on May the 4th - which I think I posted here in response to an ask from @mfreedomstuff: which I appreciate all the time, love.

I have been speaking to my extended family, and a few mutuals on here have been reassuring me that ending the friendship was the right thing to do. It was sad and I've been having a lot of anger about it that I'm working through.

This is what's been going on for the month of May, alongside finding out one of our prettier chickens was actually a rooster in disguise. He's going to make the most beautiful chicks with our hens - particularly our Araucana. Gonna get a Black Copper Marans Hen one of these days if it's the last thing I do 😤👌.

If you've made it to here, thank you so much for reading. I'll get right back into writing some content for you. Just thought I'd share a little about my personal life here to give you a glimpse into what's going on with me (and why I've been writing so much this month: to deal with all this).

Writing and this community has been such a beautiful aspect of my life, and I have enjoyed getting to know you on here. Even though I am just a snail on here, this part of my life has been so much sunshine amongst the dreary. Love you all, and I'll get right back into the writing soon.

[xoxochb]

okay lemme use my big brain and my smartie pants for this one:

imagine imagine uhh lifeguard percy jackson having to constantly save reader from drowning :O but its like fluffy and not angst drowing

and maybe he ends up teaching reader to swim :OoOoO

˗ˋ a moment of warm sun ˊ˗

warnings: mentions of drowning. there’s also a percabeth reference at the end because I love them with all my heart <3

pairing: percy jackson x fem reader

summary: read the request!

“you’ve really got to stop drowning” Percy scolds

“well I’m trying to learn how to swim so I won’t drown anymore, but I’m unfortunately unable to do so”

this is the fourth time percy has saved you from drowning

you always go to the beach hoping that you’ll magically be able to swim, but you always end up failing, falling into the water

currently, you’re sitting on the shore, coughing up the water you inhaled, percy sitting next to you making sure you’re alright

“then how about you only swim in the shallow waters then? simple solution to a not-so-simple problem” he suggests

“how am I supposed to learn anything if the water is shallow? It doesn’t work that way” you sigh

he thinks for a second, “maybe I could teach you”

“teach me? how to swim? you’re really confident if you think I’m capable of being taught how to swim” you laugh, but cut off short when you start chocking on water again

“suit yourself” he stands up, and then you do the same

“fine. you can help me, and if you can’t you owe me ten dollars” you smirk

“that’s not a fair deal” he crosses his arms

“fair to me” you shrug

- 🌊 -

“alright first things first: you need to know is how to float? do you know how to do that?” he inquired

“clearly not” you throw your arms up, gesturing to the water you’ve drowned in

he mutters something under his breath and then says, “alright then that’s what we’re starting with”

after an hour and a half of of swimming practice you had successfully learned how to float, and half-swim, but percy said it was good enough for now because you hadn’t drowned, and he did ask you to learn how to fully swim for the next time you visited the beach

and he would also never tell you that he actually enjoyed saving you all those times, and he felt a little sad that you weren’t going to drown anymore, but he kept this to himself because it didn’t sound very nice

you now were sitting on the beach with him, a ‘well deserved break after the hard work’ he said

“do you always teach people how to swim?” you ask

“only pretty girls” he looks at you

“oh yeah? and how many pretty girls have you taught how to swim?” you smirk, playing around, but in reality you want to scream, and the butterflies in your stomach are highly suggesting it

“only one”

you smile and stand up, you don’t want him to see the blush on your cheeks

“we are you going?” he asks

“to swim” you say walking to the water, and percy follows close behind

“never thought I’d hear you say that” he teases

you walk out to deeper water, using your new floating abilities

“you’re a show off” he laughs

“I’m just using the skills this pretty boy taught me” you mock his earlier words

“do you always let pretty boys teach you things?” he swims closer to you

“only one” you go underwater, and he mirrors your action

you smile when you see him in front of you, and without wasting another second, you cup his face and pull him in for a kiss

and it was pretty much the best underwater kiss of all time

[chosolala]

⋆ ˚｡⋆𐙚˚ Yuji headcannons

like the title says, these are just my silly cute little yuji itadori headcannons, hope you enjoy 🪽₊˚⊹

anything you buy for him or give him, like a bracelet or a keychain, he will put on right then and there and never take off, he also gets really sad if they break and begs you to make/buy him another one.

hes vv strong physically so he would just randomly scoop you up over his shoulder or play wrestle with you, but he usually lets you win or calls it a tied match.

if he likes you, expect a lot of cheesy pick up lines and flirting attempts, he will also invite you out a lot, especially to go grab fast food or catch a movie.

he is also very protective over you, but instead of getting angry if he sees other people checking you out, he'll just look over at them like 'yeah this is MY partner, i bagged this'

he will literally drop everything he's doing if you needed him, even if you called asking if a certain top looked good on you, he's already running to the boutique to see with his own eyes

he lets you dye his hair for him, he thinks it looks better when you do it.

he loves adult cartoons like family guy or the simpsons so he usually has them on in his room.

he likes to play with megumis divine dogs and is constantly bugging him to summon them.

he has a very high tolerance to spice so when he makes his own food and lets you and the others try some you're all literally choking and gasping for air and hes just confused

always knocking on your door asking if you wanna watch tv or play games, he just likes hanging out with you.

he had to buy new slippers after gojo stole his and he got a funny character on his shoes like sonic or brian griffin

he eats so much its almost concerning, like when you all go out everyone is shocked by how much he orders and then even more shocked when he leaves the plate bone dry.

he would square up to anyone anywhere if they were less than polite to you and visibly hurt your feelings, hes kind of an air head and probably wouldn't do more than give a mean glance to the person but if he saw you were uncomfortable or unhappy with it hands are being thrown

whenever hes sad or in his feelings, he doesn't talk about it, he wants to but he just cant bring himself to speak up about it. so he just locks himself in his room until hes over it.

he is a very heavy sleeper, when you wake up in his arms you literally can't move or wake him up, you just have to wait for him to get up on his own. hes a rock when he sleeps.

he likes watching dramatic reality tv shows with you and poking fun at the exaggerated effects, he also likes watching cooking shows and impersonating the recipes, usually it doesn't end so well

one time you and him tried making tonkatsu and yuji left a rag a little too close to the stove, the entire building had to evacuate.

he listens to a lot of different music genres but his favorite is whatever artist is your favorite.

he is so painfully bad at math, sometimes its almost shocking.

he is effortlessly funny, he never fails to make those around him laugh or brighten a bad day, hes just a joy to be around.

[cartoonrival]

I ALWAYS GET SO SAD WHEN PPL USE THE DECLARATION OF WOMANHOOD EP AS PROOF AKANES CISHET. Like i get that they wanna defend ranma from akane saying transphobic shit throughout and attacking her at the end, but i'm begging them to rewatch and consider her pov: up until that point she had been able to tell herself "i'm not REALLY bi because ranma's not a real girl" and now suddenly that excuse is pulled out from under her and guess what? She's STILL very clearly attracted to ranma and she panics bc she's 16 in japan in the 90s. she'll insist ranma's a boy one minute and then buy her an expensive dress and take her to get ice cream the next. she's literally not even mad at ranma for being a girl when she chases her at the end, the thing that sets her off is ranma dismissing her when she's worried about them not being able to get married as girls. homegirl did not handle it smoothly bc she was also going thru it hardcore

look man. ive talked about this episode before. i know its widely adored but i personally strongly dislike it because ranma acting so wildly out of character really annoys me even though the ice cream shop conversation is objectively revolutionary. because ranma acts so ooc throughout that whole episode i consider it to have very little bearing in terms of tgirl ranma support. but that episode is BIBLICAL for bisexual akane. the staunch refusal by fans to see anything from akane's perspective is fucking nuts. from akane's pov the PLOT of that episode is essentially EXACTLY what you said: ive been using "hes not ACTUALLY a girl as my excuse for being in love with him this whole time but now suddenly it seems like he IS actually a girl and it turns out im still very much in love with him, and im terrified to face what that means". also honestly i think akane was also annoyed that ranma was acting cowardly... bisexual or not it is true that this isnt really the person she fell for. because ranma was acting weird. so i think we should give her a little credit for that reasonable frustration as well. but in that ep she so very clearly thinks girl ranma is really cute and pretty and wants to do stuff that makes her happy and see her in pretty dresses and to be quite honest that bit at the beginning where boytype ranma is trying on her clothes and getting frustrated and dysphoric that they dont fit her right, and akane says "they dont fit me right either" makes me a little craaaazy that solidarity between cis and trans people wrt body image.... anyways everyone wants to hate akane so bad and read her in bad faith but for some reason insists on bending over backwards to read shampoo as gay

[nottapossum]

What did you think of full moon?

Okay for realz this time.

Trigger warning...

I'm not very nice in this post.

I'm upset. Lol 😆

So if you guys are hard-core Stolas lovers and think stolas can do no wrong...

Please don't read this.

I love stolas.

But he messed up in my opinion.

Here's my nicer review

1) glad loona is talking again...

Just sayin.

Her not talking much made me feel like we just got introduced to a brand new character.

2) This whole scene made this episode go from no expectations to really high for me. Blitzø being worried that Stolas is growing bored of him...idk I wanted to expand a little on those feelings.

But.

It's blitzø so...yeah.

He doesn't talk about them.

I would have liked if he talked to Fizz about his fears, and maybe Fizz could have been like: "no blitzø, that's silly, stolas loves you."

Then Blitzø can be like: "Nah, they don't care about people like us."

Then Fizz can be like: "Blitzø trust me, they're not all like that. I'm sure Stolas has a good reason for acting like this...give it a chance."

But nah.

We get this.

...pretty funny ngl.

But still- nothing else!?

Pre emotion is okay guys!

It doesn't just have to just be at the end like barbie in unhappy campers.

Which I felt could have also used more build up.

3) Like in unhappy campers...I felt this side-plot deal was a huge waste of time. The cherubs didn't even do that much.

I'm not hating on the episode- I'm just saying this could have been 2 separate episodes and it would have been a lot better IMO if they were.

I like the idea of the cherubs and dhorks working together, I hope it'll come back soon, actually! I'm very interested in what they'll do!

But they were a bit too easy to defeat, in my opinion, and Blitzø seemed to be filling screen time with random stuff that was only kinda funny...?

Some of it, really funny. But I was just sitting and waiting for something more to happen.

Like I said- it's fine. It's a good episode, I'm sure I'll be rewatching this at least six times this week alone.

It's just not how I personally would have done it. And that's okay. I don't have a TV show. I don't know how this stuff works!

My opinion on this means literally nothing.

I'm a random person who writes fanfiction. I'm no one!

4) I think Stolas's apology was pretty good, actually!

I think he did a good job talking about his mistakes and being open and honest...you know...at first.

5) Blitzø was not wrong and Stolas deserved what he got from this interaction.

I'm sorry, Stolas lovers - I love stolas! He's my favorite bird prince! I want him and Blitzø to be happy! I think theyre great!

But you can't deny that Stolas was wrong to hold Blitzø to all of that. (I'll get to Blitzø in a second, hold on!) Stolas made lots of comments belittling Blitzø and his kind, made sex an obligation, and would often talk about sex when it was clear Blitzø wasn't into it.

"It's always about sex." *bird noises*

Stolas. Sweetie. Baby. Honey. My precious little idiot. You made it that way! Of course Blitzø thought that you were just being playful! You're always doing that!

And after Blitzø realizes that Stolas is serious, he's so quick to turn to being passive-aggressive!

I got so annoyed! I hate the passive nonsense!

Bro!!! Let Blitzø think about it! Give him a second before getting so upset! You could have still worked this out! Like- christ on a stick!

Stolas thinks he's desperately in love with Blitzø...but...well. he doesn't know him that well, and he doesn't open himself up to Blitzø either.

So Blitzø can't know how he feels either!

All he knows is that he doesn't want it to end!

I'm not fully blaming Stolas though...

6) BLITZØ YOU FUCKING OVERCOOKED POTATO CHIP!

Side note, how sad and hopeless Blitzø was feeling...the "I'll do better, I'll do anything, please don't do this."

Even after giving him the crystal! Homagawz!

He did not get to talk a lot in this...but to immediately dismiss everything Stolas said when he was trying to be sincere- bro! Deal with your emotions better! I know you're upset, but jeezus christ super star!

Instead of being like: "Stolas, wait let's talk-"

He's all angy like: "Nah bish, let's fight bro!"

Nah! Calm down, Buckzo! Take a chill pill.

...

He did kinda bring this on himself.

Mocking Stolas for being honest?! Come on!

That's just hurtful! Even If unintentional!

----

I think they both deserved what they got in this episode.

Blitzø I think is receiving Karma from what he's done in every other relationship in his life.

He's always pushing everyone away, and this time, it's stolas doing it to him.

7) But at least Blitzø was willing to hash it out instead of ghosting!!

Da fuck stolas! That was not the right move at all!

"I love you...oh you don't feel the same? You dont belive me? Bye then."

Da fuck!? Ya bird brain!

You both need to apologize now!

Apology tour better just be an hour of these two saying their sorry ohhhrrrr so help me! (I'm joking.)

8) Did someone else like Stolas hurt Blitzø before?

The way he was saying "you rich assholes do this every time."

Every time!?!

How many times has this happened to you!?

♡♡♡♡

But what did you guys think?

Agree? Disagree?

That's fine.

Let's talk nicely and not murder me, okay? Lol 😆

I've had me way too many emotions today- guysss!!!

I'm gonna go write and pretend I'm not angry and crying at the same time. Lol ✍️

@todayimfour @trophyxtissues2 @abby5577 @ask-dusty-boy @im-not-paying-my-taxes @stormy-is-hyperfixated @attagirljessy @legeufygeuber100 @thatswhat24 @hinata-chan-utaitelover