#i love theo despite all his flaws

[toolazytodecide]

How does Theo live with the stress?! 😩😩😩😩

66% in so far

Drugs, alcohol and repression mostly.

I give him shit, but having read about all the shit hes been through its no wonder he didn't grow up to be the most well adjusted adult.

[deadsnakey]

𝐒𝐋𝐘𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐍 𝐁𝐎𝐘𝐒 —> 𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐋𝐎𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐙𝐎˚ᡴꪫ

ᯓ★ ᡣ𐭩 fluff ⦂ little angsty ೀ Headcanons. . .ᐟ 0.8k words ┈─★

ㅤ ꒰⁐⁐⁐⁐⁐⁐⁐⁐⁐⁐୨୧⁐⁐⁐⁐⁐⁐⁐⁐⁐⁐꒱

જ⁀➴ he's very sweet, but only to you mostly and tbh he's a conniving bitch but he gets his character development!

જ⁀➴ as soon as he gets the hots for you and not just wanting to get into your pants, he's definitely nicer and more tolerable to you.

જ⁀➴ like, he's very charming but if you make him chase you and play a little hard to get, he's gone.

જ⁀➴ loves trying to win you over even if it does take awhile; but he's willing to do whatever it takes!

જ⁀➴ when y'all start dating, he's truly the sweetest and most considerate.

જ⁀➴ you probably had to teach him cause I think this is a more enemies to lovers trope.

જ⁀➴ before lovers you had to teach him that you have to open doors for your lover, get them flowers, be gentle and kind to them, never raise his voice or hit a lady

જ⁀➴ especially his girlfriend.

જ⁀➴ but after he really does start being nicer in general, you start falling for him and eventually start dating.

જ⁀➴ he talks about you a lot; his friends are tired of it.

જ⁀➴ they definitely tease him about how he's gone soft because of you and he can't deny it, but he's not mad about it.

જ⁀➴ he'll shamelessly show you off and give you affection in public, around your friends, his friends, etc because he's not ashamed of you.

જ⁀➴ the first time he said I love you to you was probably not even 3 whole weeks of dating, it just kind of slipped in the moment.

જ⁀➴ tries his best to be good enough for you; he's changed for the better for you, so he can finally have you and call you his lover.

જ⁀➴ sometimes though, he has doubts and needs some reassurance verbally that you still love him despite his flaws and imperfections.

જ⁀➴ definitely has physical affection as his top love language, but acts of service is a close second.

જ⁀➴ I can see him constantly gifting you things he knows you like or are really interested in.

જ⁀➴ loves seeing you happy but quickly gets jealous or upset if it's anyone but him making you happy. (Especially if it's a guy).

જ⁀➴ if you're very talkative, then he's more then glad to listen to you go on a rant about an interest of yours or sum, he loves listening to your voice.

જ⁀➴ but have someone insult you about talking too much or in general and even though he's not as big of a fighter as Mattheo (Theo being second) is, he's not afraid to fuck a MF up for you.

જ⁀➴ then he'll come and find you after with blood on his face, not all his, and with a cute little smile fondly looking at you as if he didn't almost kill someone lol.

જ⁀➴ I think he'd love matching with you even as simple as rings or bracelets, shoes or phone case. He finds it cute.

જ⁀➴ let's you play and style his hair, he finds it relaxing and doesn't care if you put to small pigtails in, as long as you're happy!!

જ⁀➴ also falls asleep sometimes, he tries so hard to stay awake but you're just so comforting to him he can't help himself sometimes.

જ⁀➴ always wanting to touch you in anyway he can but will try and control it if you're not too big on it.

જ⁀➴ but in public he WILL be putting a hand on your waist or holding your hand, he will get pouty and whiny and that's annoying to deal with.

જ⁀➴ sends you pictures of things he knows you like or find cute.

[thenerdyindividual]

Rewatching A Crown of Candy had reminded me how much I hate Saccharina. She is such a well done character. Her expectations are completely out of line with reality. The Rocks family lost Jet less than two weeks before meeting Saccharina, and they’ve had no time to process their grief. They’ve been running for their lives for even longer with out any idea that Saccharina existed, and have had no time to come to terms with everything. Calroy, someone they cared about and trusted, was directly responsible for the state of affairs, including Jet’s death. There’s been no time to process a betrayal that profound. Ruby, Jet, and Liam went from being rambunctious teens to war guys, and they haven’t been able to figure out what that means for them.

Despite all that, Saccharina expects them to play happy families immediately because she’s known of them her entire life. Then, because of her background, she takes every instance of tension as a personal slight. There’s no consideration for what the Rocks have been through because she’s experienced pain too. She is so focused on the distance she feels with Ruby and Amethar, she ignores that the rest of the party has been welcoming to her. Theo gave his loyalty to her within minutes of meeting her. Cumulus bonds with her over Lazuli. Liam is… well he’s Liam. He’s an awkward guy with everyone, but he is welcoming to her too. Amethar is doing his best but Saccharina doesn’t consider that his struggles to bond with her have nothing to do with her. He lost a daughter and now is being asked to accept another daughter he didn’t know about on the heels of that loss. Ruby didn’t just lose her twin, she lost her best friend, but Saccharina expects Ruby to put aside her grief to welcome a new sister with open arms. Just a couple episodes before, Ruby is “warging into Yak so I don’t have to be in my fucking body” and saying she felt like she died the day Jet did. Yet when she tries to explain all of the grief and trauma to Saccharina, Saccharina’s response was “I was born with nothing”.

What makes all this so brilliant (besides Emily Axford’s rp and character choices) is how if the tables were turned, we’d hate the Rocks family. As @anarchycox pointed out, if this was a YA novel where we had been following Saccharina’s point of view, we’d hate Amethar and Ruby for not accepting Saccharina. We’d be raging and saying things like “She’s your daughter! You’re meant to love her, you asshole!” After everything Saccharina has been through, we’d be pissed that she couldn’t get a happy reunion. There would be no question that we were on Saccharina’s side.

It is the only time I’ve experienced feeling guilty about hating a character. Normally, when I hate a character it feels good to hate them. They’re a bad guy and it’s fun to tell them to go fuck themselves. Saccharina isn’t a bad guy, or even an antagonist. She’s is an ally, and a deeply flawed and wounded character.

I still hate her.

It’s brilliant. Emily Axford you’ve done it again.

[senlinyu]

Since ao3 is down, here is a thing that was supposed to be a twitter drabble but it got too long so I forgot about it for eight months.

Dying Wish

//open ended, pining Draco, theomione, Dramione (vaguely), Tragic Theo.

Almost everyone said that Theodore Nott marrying Hermione Granger was unexpected but not surprising. Theo had always been academically insufferable, and Granger was infamously so. The relationship could have almost been called inevitable.

Everyone had stories about the absurdly saccharine workplace romance that unfolded. Coworkers by coincidence, they both showed up for a cancelled meeting, the waiting led to a shared project, and from there a whirlwind relationship.

They were engaged within a year.

A beautiful couple, a perfect match. Despite Theo possessing the near fatal flaw of having been in Slytherin, he compensated for any suspicion held by Granger’s friends by having a tragic life story practically from the moment of conception. A mother who’d died horribly young, and a monster of a father who’d always considered his son a bitter disappointment.

Theo had never taken the Dark Mark, he’d played no part in the war. He was self-deprecating and funny, and knew how to make people like him because he cared about people liking him. The kind of man who was perfectly happy to become ‘Hermione Granger’s husband,’ unlike the previous boyfriends who always wanted her bright but not ‘too bright’.

Draco was happy for Theo. In a very detached and uninvolved way. He wasn’t such a cunt that he would resent his best friend for finding love, even if it was with a person he habitually went out of his way to avoid.

Granger was, after all, a menace with a vicious protective streak, and a known right hook. Draco, in fact, knew it personally. No one was ever going to hurt Theo again, she would make sure of it.

Theo, for his part, had spent his entire life looking for someone who’d let him love them completely. Someone to give his heart and soul to. His adoration for Granger was nauseating, an ocean of unplumbed depths.

The stars seemed to align for them, every piece falling into place to create a perfect match: Two positively revolting swots joined in matrimonial bliss, happy as could be.

No one asked Draco if he wanted to be in excruciating proximity to the entire affair, and yet he somehow was. He helped Theo plan his proposal, and then had to listen to Theo practise his speech over and over without wincing, and then illuminate over five hundred fairy lights , cue a quartet, and then fling a garden’s worth of rose petals into the air, before apparating silently away.

He was the best man. He planned Theo’s stag night. Slapped him across the face when he started hyperventilating, kept the rings from getting lost, and signed as witness to the union.

When it was done and they were off on their honeymoon, he left the reception, and went to Greece for six months in order to detox from the entire revolting affair.

When he finally forced himself to go back, he coddled himself by ignoring most of their invitations, and only accepted the ones where he could arrive late and leave early and barely speak to the hosts.

Eventually Theo stopped bothering him.

After all, it was bad enough to hear how revoltingly happy they were together without seeing them.

Malfoys were emotionally repressed on principle. His father used to say that falling in love was something only poor people did.

If Draco had to witness Granger making cow eyes at Theo, he would suffer indigestion, and his mother had always said he was constitutionally delicate.

He didn’t particularly like company anyway, and Theo’s friends were mostly Granger’s friends, which was not a circle Draco ever felt comfortable in.

His uninvolvement was going swimmingly until he received a short, informal note in shaky writing.

‘I need to see you. Please come. Theo.’

Draco had always been better at refusing formal invitations than personal ones. What the fuck would Theo suddenly want? After all these years?

He tried to ignore it, but the vagueness ate at him, niggling at his curiosity until he gritted his teeth and apparated to Nott manor.

Instead of an elf, or a butler at least answering the door it was Granger herself who opened it.

“Malfoy, you’ve finally come. Theo will be so relieved.”

He swallowed hard.

It had been a few years since he’d seen her in person. Wasn’t she supposed to be blissfully married? Weren’t happy people supposed to glow or something?

She’d been glowing at the wedding. Draco remembered all clearly the way her face had lit up when all the lights illuminated and music started, and Theo, despite Draco’s repeated warnings, was on his knees reciting a poem he’d written for her.

Draco had nearly died from second hand embarrassment.

The memory of how happy she’d looked while Theo compared her to the moon in iambic pentameter before hundreds of people, had been seared irrevocably into his skull. It would probably still haunt when he was a ghost.

She was not glowing at all now. She looked sad, and tired.

“Granger,” he said, even though he was excruciatingly aware that she was married.

He expected her to correct him out of habit, and then he’d retort that she would always be Granger to him, and then they would exchange empty banter and it would pass as conversation, but instead she just said, “Theo’s upstairs,” and led the way.

Draco expected to be led to a study, or a horrible mad scientist type lab designed for two, but instead it was a dark bedroom.

Draco baulked at the doorway, and Granger went in. He could hear the hushed murmur of voices and then she came back.

“He’s awake and having a good day, call if you need anything.” Then she left him there.

Draco watched her vanish back down the stairs before setting his jaw and entering the room. Theo was pale as a sheet, propped up with pillows, his face lit up at the sight of Draco.

“You did come, you old bastard.”

“Yes,” Draco said awkwardly. “Is Granger finally poisoning you for your family fortune?”

He’d prefer to avoid greetings or comments about how long it had been, or asking what was wrong. It was clear that something was incredibly wrong. Theo was thin and greyish, everything about him faded, not at all the picture of health Draco had assumed he would be.

That he was supposed to be.

Theo gave a wan smile. “I wouldn’t blame her, but no. My mother, you might not remember, it was a maladiction that killed her. Apparently I inherited it. Another thing my father didn’t manage to beat out of me.”

Draco’s chest clenched. “Theo, I’m—”

Theo shook his head. “It’s fine. I’ve—worked through it. Mostly. There are stages to grief apparently. That’s what the books say. I’ve moved through denial, anger, bargaining and depression. It’s not entirely a linear process but I’m mostly at the acceptance point now. Figured we should say goodbye.”

Draco just stared at him. “You can’t be serious. You invited me here for goodbyes? Fuck off. You can’t just give up like that. You’re married. You have a wife, you can’t die and leave—“

“If there was a fucking cure, Hermione would have found it,” Theo cut him off, his usually soft voice hardening in a defensive way that startled Draco. “We’ve looked. We’ve tried everything. You’d know that, if you’d ever come around. She’s been trying for years. Admitting she couldn’t—she tried so hard.”

Draco felt like he’d been struck. “I—I’m sorry. Of course you did. I’ve been away. Busy. I have responsibilities.”

Theo rolled his eyes, shaking his head. “It’s alright, I know now why you didn’t.”

Theo sat up slowly. His body seemed shrunken, like a breath of wind could carry him away. “That’s why I needed to see you. I wanted to apologise. I’m sorry for not realising it sooner. I should have. Looking back—it’s so obvious.”

Draco forced a laugh. He had no idea what Theo was talking about but he was really not enjoying the conversation.

“Realising what? What’s obvious?”

“That you’re in love with Hermione.”

Draco’s entire body went stiff, something inside him crumbled and died as his heart stopped completely. His voice failed him the first several times he tried to speak. He looked away, clearing his throat repeatedly.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about. You sound mad.” He fidgeted with the potions on Theo’s bedside table, peering at them. “What kind of potions does Granger have you on?”

Theo slumped back, his eyes fluttering closed, his eyelids looked almost bruised with exhaustion. “I think back a lot. Mostly the years since the war, once my father was gone and things were getting better. I was remembering how much time we used to spend together. You were doing community service for probation, that elves thing Hermione founded. And I was going from one bad relationship to the next like some sad puppy.” He opened his eyes. “I was remembering how whenever I told you about anyone I dated, you always used to sneer and said they weren’t good enough for me, and gave the worst relationship advice ever. You Sabotaged me.”

“You had terrible taste,” Draco retorted, still sorting through the potions and still not liking at all the direction the conversation was going in. “It was a mercy on my part.”

“When I told you about Hermione, that I ran into her, and I asked you what you thought, do you remember what you said?”

“I can’t say I do,” Draco lied.

“You said I’d never be good enough for her. Then the next week, you came around again, and I remember you looked terrible and I assumed you’d had another fight with your parents, and you told me if I was serious, I should get a job at the Ministry, mentioned the rumour she’d had a time-turner at school. She was the only person you gave useful relationship advice about. Looking back, I don’t think it would have happened without you. Any of it.”

“Theo—“ Draco shifted awkwardly, having run out of potions to look at, “—it was just a joke, You can’t assume things like that. Granger? Really? Of anyone I could have feelings for. Your wife?” He exhaled raggedly. “Have you forgotten our history? Unlike you, I was a Death Eater. I was in the war. Even before then, I was awful, and they brought her to the manor and I—“

He’s rambling, he knew he was rambling. He needed to fucking shut up.

“I would never have been able to—“ His voice failed and there was a stone lodged in the bottom of his throat and he just stood there trying to keep from smashing everything within reach.

He needed a drink.

He threw a hand up, suddenly angry and turned on Theo, glaring. “It was just a fucking joke. I don’t even remember it.”

Theo simply nodded. “You were right though. I wasn’t good enough for her.”

Draco scoffed at that, turning away, inspecting the view. “I’m sure you did just fine. I always heard that you two were revoltingly happy. People said you were like some storybook couple. You two were good for each other—that’s really all that—“

He was stammering again.

He cut himself off. “You were happy together. Everyone said you made her happy. And I don’t do happiness, it gives me a rash.”

“Shut up,” Theo’s voice sharpened. “Fuck. I forgot how much you talk when you’re lying.”

He gave a heavy sigh. “You wanted us together, didn’t you? You engineered it.”

Draco gave a long suffering sigh. “Theo, you’re a moron. Just because you claim to be dying doesn’t mean I’m going to put up with a conspiracy theory that I’m in love with your wife.”

“Fuck off. You were my only friend, and you were the only reason I didn’t accidentally sabotage the relationship. All the times I would have rushed things, you stopped me. You were the reason why I managed to pull off all my harebrain romantic schemes. You made it work. And somehow I ended up married with the friends and family I always wanted, that you knew I wanted, and where the fuck did you go? Where have you been since then? Not here, that's for sure.”

Draco glanced out the window. “You wanted a new start, Theo. It was all you talked about once your father was in Azkaban. I was the past. Once you were married, you didn’t need me anymore. I was a hindrance.”

“You manipulated me,” Theo said, looking unreasonably infuriated for someone who’d gotten to marry the love of his life. “You self-loathing fuck. You thought you had it all worked out, had everything puppet-mastered. You nudged me right into her path to love her for you. Pushed us together so you would be alone the way you’ve convinced yourself you deserve to be.” He sounded winded. “Fuck. I’d punch you if I had the strength. And the thing I’m the most pissed off about, is that I was so enamoured, I didn’t notice. I thought it all worked perfectly that time because it was meant to.”

If Theo was expecting a confession he was going to be terribly disappointed.

“Maybe it did. I don’t know what you expect me to say about any of this. Even if any of that were true, what does it matter?”

“It matters,” Theo said.

Draco rolled his eyes.

“It matters because you have to take care of her when I’m gone.”

Draco’s heart stalled for a second time, but he recovered faster. “I’m sure you can get everything arranged in advance so she’ll be fine.”

“That’s what I’m doing right now. I can’t ask her friends to do this. They love her, but they don’t understand how to care for her. She takes care of everyone, but she doesn’t remember to take care of herself. She needs someone to be selfish for her, who will do whatever it takes to put her first. I can’t be your proxy anymore, it has to be you now.”

Draco’s neatly manicured nails were biting into his palm, he didn’t even know when his fists had clenched. “Theo…”

“I have spent so much time worrying about her, feeling like I can’t go because who’d be here to make sure she was alright. I’ve considered everyone, and when I got to you, I brushed you off at first, because you used to talk about how you couldn’t stand her. But eventually I wondered, why did you do so much to bring us together? If you really hated her so much. You always knew what she’d like. You figured things out about her that it took me ages to piece together. And you’re actually a rather shit liar, now that I’ve been thinking about it, if you’d really hated her, you would have been a lot nastier than you were.”

“I still don’t see the point in this conversation,” Draco said in a bored tone. “Granger can take care of herself. Especially with your fortune.”

Theo exhaled, like he was too tired now to fight anymore. “You are missing the point on purpose and we both know it.”

Draco did not know any such thing, still it was difficult to keep looking at Theo and he turned away.

“You did a good job at it. I’ll admit, you are the manipulative person I have ever known, if I weren’t dying, I probably would have never known. But now it’s my turn to be manipulative.”

“Well a good rule of thumb is not to tell the person you’re trying to manipulate that you’re doing it,” Draco said in a dry voice, turning to face him.

Theo was holding up his wand and had a wry smile on his face. “Fair enough. But I do have one final piece of leverage.”

Comprehension slowly dawned on him. “Theo, don’t you—“

“Draco Malfoy, it is my dying wish that you care for my wife when I am gone. Support her in her grief, and help her find joy in her future. Be there for her once I can’t be. Help her find herself again. Do you accept?”

Death Wishes were magic out of old grimoires. The kind that only insufferable people like Theo Nott would know how to perform.

Usually they were curses pronounced as the person died, but a rare iteration was rather like an Unbreakable Vow, if Draco refused, Theo would not pass on after death but instead linger as a ghost, attempting to fulfil the wish himself. If Draco accepted and then broke his word, Theo would come back from the afterlife and haunt him.

Bullshit all around either way.

Theo’s wand pulsed with magic, waiting for Draco’s answer.

Draco stood glaring at him. “I hate you.”

Theo glared right back. “If you weren’t such a self-sabotaging, self-loathing moron I wouldn’t have to do this. You think I want you hanging around my wife? I don’t. But being your proxy was also a shit realisation, consider this my way of getting even. You will make Hermione happy and you will get over your self-hatred and do it yourself this time or I will haunt you and I will make sure Hermione knows exactly why it is that I’m doing it. Do you accept?”

The magic was humming louder, growing brighter and Theo was beginning to turn translucent as though the magic was draining his life from him.

“Fine. Yes! I accept.”

The magic flared out and flew across the room, striking Draco and fading into him. He clutched at his chest but the light had gone.

He looked up.

“Fuck you, you manipulative bastard,” Draco finally said, his heart was pounding.

Theo just gave another wry smile. “You know, that’s exactly what I wanted to say when you walked in.” He sank back into bed, looking winded. “I’m glad you came to see me. I was starting to worry you wouldn’t and I was going to have to come up with a whole extra scheme. You saved me a lot of trouble. All worth it for Hermione though, right?”

Draco turned without another word and headed toward the door, desperate to be gone, even though he could feel Theo’s wish like a brand inside his soul waiting to come alive.

“You should go see Hermione,” Theo’s voice followed him, already threatening to haunt him. “You know, she admitted once to fancying you a bit back when you were volunteering at the charity. She’d planned to ask you out, but you never came around after your probation was over.”

[liliaeth]

@bestialitybestiary Going to respond to your reply here instead of in reply to your post. Because it honestly had me baffled if you were actually paying attention or not.

@liliaeth I mean you're right, Scott was called out sometimes. But it somehow didn't feel as if he cared that much. It was sometimes said. Idk I feel like I have to reach for context every time I want to understand his emotions in the scene, because it's not clear. Idk if it's because of acting or directing. What I try to say is that because of those little things Scott may be perceived as ignorant or dumb, and it's a shame. I know he isn't. And I wish they portrayed his character with more care. I guess because of how they wrote/acted the character it was easy to see him as a bad friend, if someone wanted to see him that way. And it's a shame I wrote this post because I was wondering why Scott has such a bad rep in fandom. I love the guy

My main issue is this, of all the characters on the show, there were three characters who were called out on their mistakes the most.

There was Scott, there was Lydia and there was Derek. Which makes it no wonder that on the entire show, these three characters had the most character growth and development of any and all characters on the show.

Compare that to characters like say Stiles who was essentially static for six seasons, and had little to no character growth, because the show didn't dare to ever hold him accountable. Never made him feel remorse for how terribly he treated everyone around, him, and especially how badly Stiles treated the people he cared about, like Scott, like his father, like Lydia, like Malia...

(In fact the only time we see Stiles display any guilt over anything, it's to do with either the Nogitsune or Donovan, both of them cases where Stiles blames himself for things that are categorically not his fault. But when it comes to things that actually are Stiles' fault... things he actually did to personally wrong, it just gets ignored, and we see no reaction to it from Stiles, or any kind of him taking responsibility for it.)

But because Scott 'was' called out, and Stiles 'was not', people fell in the false notion that what Scott did was wrong, while Stiles behavior was 'just funny', or perfectly fine. Even though in most cases it was actually the opposite.

It's why people most often don't realize just how bad a friend Stiles was throughout most of the show.

See, you wrote that you felt Scott didn't care that much... and my instant reaction was 'did you miss the fact that he literally tried to kill himself out of guilt on three separate occasions?

In Frayed he is literally refusing to let himself heal, because he feels responsible over what happened to Derek.

And this is added on in Motel California, where he's already lit the torch, and thus is rid of most of the Darach's influence when he tries to put himself on fire, because he feels responsible for everything bad that's ever happened in their life since he was bitten.

And then in s5b, after Theo murdered him, it's Scott who takes responsibility for everything that went wrong, despite him being a victim, where once again, he won't let himself heal.

(all while the show refuses to let Stiles apologize or in any way take responsibility for listening to Theo and betraying the pack)

It's a recurring theme on the show, and with Scott that he's constantly taking responsibility for everything bad that happens around him, even and especially when it isn't his fault.

It's one of his main character traits, and this tendency to blame himself for everything that goes wrong, is probably one of his primary character flaws.

Like, it starts as early as in s1, when Stiles blames Scott for his father getting hit by a car in 'the Tell', when in Heart Monitor, he refuses to even talk to Scott, and Scott is desperately trying to make up for something that Scott had nothing to do with.

With Stiles blaming Scott for the 'werewolf crap coming into their life', despite Scott being the victim, and even going as far as Stiles abusing Scott with lacrosse balls, and getting him beaten up by seniors (risking said seniors' lives) just to punish Scott in false claim of it just being 'training)

I get that Stiles was just frustrated and worried about his father, which Scott knows as well, and is why Scott doesn't hold it against him. But with this added on to Scott's already existing tendency to take the blame for everything that goes wrong...

Scott could have refused, but instead he's blaming himself for these things, despite none of it being his fault... It's an ongoing character trait for Scott to do so.

I'm not saying the show was perfect, one of the main flaws the show had, esp. in regards to Scott, is that they went with the notion that Scott dealt with his suffering internally, and that the audience would see this as resilience. That he didn't lash out (outside of s1 when he's least in control of his instincts), and for the most part just dealt with it.

And directorial this lead to things like the show rarely if ever dealing with the horrors Scott went through. Even in the previouslies we rarely see a focus on what was done to Scott. Even Gerard torturing Scott with a knife in clear view in front of the hospital, and then threatening his Mom, is not mentioned in a single previously, no matter how relevant it would have been to do so...

Just like Melissa's horrified rejection of Scott in Fury is never once dealt with onscreen. Instead we get some mention of 'them being stronger now' in s3, when in reality what the show actually did was to stop having Melissa's behave like Scott's mother, and turning pretty much just into a mentor.

Where we see the sheriff putting his son first, and protecting his son at all cost, Melissa essentially stops doing so after Fury, and just starts putting expectations on him.

People ask why we keep bringing race into this, it's because in any other situation, where a white character's pain would be ignored in the show. (hell this is done plenty with Stiles even in tw fandom), fandom would then pick up the story in fanfic after fanfic...

But with Teen Wolf fandom, that does not happen.

Even Motel California, is more often made about Stiles, or Isaac, than it is made about Scott, a character who is clearly suicidal in canon.

And that would not be the case if Scott were white.

We constantly see fandom claim to hate Scott for traits that he either canonically does not have, faults, he canonically does not have, while ignoring the traits and flaws he does have, because they do not fit the narrative that people want the character or the show to be.

[weirdwriter69]

Master Playlist Post

Here is a gift I would like to give the whole Ikemen Vampire fandom. I made playlists from all the suitors currently available in the English release of Ikemen Vampire. In each playlist, I took in account their route, backstory, personality, and the overall atmosphere the suitor has. I did my best to include a wide range of genres; however, most of the bands in them are labeled as rock or indie music. I will continue to update the playlists as I find more songs. Please let me know what you think! I hope y'all enjoy these playlists as much as I did making them!

(Tumblr won't let me show more than ten of the Spotify previews, so I did hyperlinks.)

Arthur's Playlist: A combination of punk rock and rock swing music to capture his inner turmoil and how he hides his pain behind alcohol and women.

Shakespeare's Playlist: A wild mixture of music across different genres to capture how Shakespeare wears many masks and his conflicted feelings about working for Vlad. (Ranges from Heavy Metal to Indie)

Dazai's Playlist: A whiplash clash of joyful music with sad undertones along with sad music with happy undertones. Dazai tries to play the role of the clown, but he knows more than he lets on. (Genre: They Might Be Giants is the best way to describe it)

Faust's Playlist: He questions his belief in God and the loyalty he has towards science while he tortures MC for the sake of love and pleasure (Rock with subcategories like Soft Rock and Sound Rock)

Charles' Playlist: He wants to know what love is, and he is willing to do anything for you despite all the pain of his self sacrifices. (Majority Rock)

Isaac's Playlist: He wants to be close to you, but he fears what would happen if he lets himself go. (Soft Rock with Indie)

Vlad's Playlist: He admires humanity, but his flawed love leads him to taking the moral high ground. (Metal & Rock)

Comte's Playlist: An immoral vampire who plays all as a noble, but who is he outside of the social gatherings? (Rock and Indie - There is a special easter egg in this playlist :3)

Jean's Playlist: Fighting with his vampiric self, he struggles to push for the next day. (Majority Indie)

Theo's Playlist: Passion for protecting the arts and rage blends to form the man before you; however, he has a soft spot for sweets and his brother. (Majority Rock)

Leonardo's Playlist: He likes to nap and keep an eye on the mansion, but just who is he? (Indie)

Vincent's Playlist: The happy angel finds himself unable to cry despite all the horrors he has witnessed. (Indie) Sebastian's Playlist: The only other human in the mansion is obsessed with the historical figures surrounding him. but he refuses to admit that he can more than just a mere background character. (Rock and Indie)

Mozart's Playlist: You disgust him at first, but the cold musician will warm up to you eventually. (Rock, Indie with some classical)

Napoleon's Playlist: He isn't sure why he came back as a vampire; however, as the first person you met as the mansion, he will keep you safe as he battles his inner demons. (Rock) Whew, thank you so much for looking at all these playlist. Please let me know what you think and how well they fit the suitors! Tagging those who seemed interested: @kissmetwicekissmedeadly @koco-coko @eyebagtree @olivermorningstar @yanderepuck @namine-somebodies-nobody

[wen-kexing-apologist]

BL/QL Ask game : The Ugly, the Bad and the Worst

Alright, I was tagged in this game by @clara-maybe-ontheroad, so it's time to make some enemies.

Worst soundtrack / weirdest song choice in a BL

I don’t really pay the most attention to this, I can’t recall anything that sticks out to me as particularly egregious even if it may be a tad odd. Weirdest song choice though is Jojo and Ninew letting First sing in Only Friends. I love the boy but we all have our flaws and his is being horrifically out of tune.

Most cringe-inducing line (cute)

“Then I am gay too,” Bee from Between Us. A show that I did actually enjoy despite many people grumbling. I hold that it’s cause I didn’t wait three years for it, and didn’t know Until We Meet Again existed when I started watching it. But regardless, Bee and Prince had like 5 minutes of screen time, max and they won my motherfucking heart.

Most cringe-inducing line (actually bad)

Not a specific line, but literally any time that Nuea questions whether or not Hia Lian loves him in Cutie Pie 2 You. Bestie, you already agonized over that for far, far too long in Cutie Pie, by the time you ran out of the marriage proposal at your father in law’s birthday, I was already way past over the bullshit. And now you want to get back on the bullshit when you are planning your wedding? Come on…

Most stupid decision made by a character

I agree with @bengiyo, Teh giving up his spot in school for Oh. Honestly, you know what, looking even further back the stupidest decision was Oh and Teh’s friends coming up to Teh AT FOUR O’CLOCK IN THE MORNING THE DAY HE WAS GOING TO GO COMMIT TO COLLEGE TO TELL HIM OH WAS GIVING UP. Y’all couldn’t have fucking waited like…one day? You know Teh is stupid motherfucker prone to grand gestures.

Worst plot line

“I’m going to kill your mother from third hand cigarette smoke and spend the last hour and a half of a genuinely otherwise beautifully crafted show making the world’s longest anti-smoking campaign” by New Siwaj in My Only 12%. What a way to ruin a show at the very last minute.

The most problematic show you've watched

Fish Upon the Sky, what in the racism, support of stalking, invasion of privacy, manipulation was that show?

A show people love but you find bad

Enchante. I just hate Theo so goddamn much.

A show people find bad but you will defend

Also gonna agree with @bengiyo here and say Wedding Plan, I have seen so little conversation around that show since it aired and it was super adorable and very very outside of MAME’s typical taboos. Just fluff, lesbianism, and lavender marriages abound. But if you think La Pluie is bad, then I will fight you to an early grave.

A show that is just objectively bad but you enjoyed it

I wouldn’t say it is my favorite, but I didn’t mind Vice Versa, but maybe that’s cause I was paying attention to trying to predict the next episode’s colors and not to the plot?

A bad show that you kept watching because you were intrigued/fascinated

Mine is the same as @waitmyturtles. It’s currently still airing, so it’s entirely possible I drop it, but, Dangerous Romance, I am so mad at how quickly it is brushing past interesting topics, but I am still watching it because I am curious where they intend to go with it. I don’t think they can salvage it, but I need to know what it is they want to say that made them think handling this show the way they are is better than exploring literally any of the class questions presented in the first couple episodes.

A bad show that you kept watching because you were horny

I don’t really watch shows because I am horny,  I watch shows because- Why R U? FighterTutor, only reason I watched that show, I skipped through most of the rest of it.

A bad show that you kept watching because of that one character

Why R U? Because Fighter was such a compelling character and I thought Zee did a phenomenal job in the way he handled Fighter’s internalized homophobia. I wish they were giving Zee more complicated roles than Hia Lian because he’s a strong actor and I think his talent is wasted on Cutie Pie.

A bad show that you would still recommend

I don’t really recommend shows that I think are bad to people, so it is a case by case basis. I did not end up liking A Boss and a Babe, but I did recommend @emotionallychargedtowel watch at least some of it so she could get a better idea of Book’s acting ability.

The character that ruined a show the most

Nadia, My Ride. She’s such a self-entitled, incredibly judgemental bitch and I hate her, runner up is Toy for destroying Boss’ bookshelf.

Most awful character that you hated

Tawan, KinnPorsche. I hate him, I hate him, I hate him, I hate him. I was glad when he died, and I must commend Na for his performance because he did such a good job playing an asshole that I still hate his face when I see it.

Most awful character that you loved

Korn from KinnPorsche, I am obsessed with how casually evil he is, and how he keeps his loyalty through faked compassion rather than abusive fear the way Gun does. He’s consistently winning, even when his lies are revealed. I think he does a superb job of flying under the radar as a visibly awful character. But he’s a terrible person.

A character that wasn't awful but that you just don't like

Saifah, Why R U? It’s not his fault, but I just hate Jimmy’s face.

A hero that should have been a villain

Palm, Never Let Me Go, I had too many theories about the ways in which Palm could have betrayed Nuengdiao. Hell, I’d have settled for Chanon being a villain, but no, only loyalty :(

A morally bad character you're into

*ahem* *gestures to my username*

Wen Kexing, Word of Honor who has done nothing wrong in his entire life.

A morally bad character you're not into and you wish people would stop being into

Theo, Enchante, I hate that motherfucker with a burning passion. I know that I said I think Book should be able to play more assholes cause he’s doing a great job with Mew’s revenge era, but Theo was a goddamn fucking major asshole who was not really presented as such.

The show that disappointed you the most

Again, it’s not done yet, so there is still time to maybe climb out of this hole, but I am very disappointed by Dangerous Romance at the moment.

The Worst Show of Them All Because of Your Own Reasons

Enchante because how the fuck do you think it is okay to write a romance where one of the romantic interests both creates the most fucked up, convoluted lie to mess with your feelings, AND is so goddamn helpless that you GET FIRED FROM YOUR JOB FOR HELPING HIM, and not have either of those things be a wake up call or deal breaker?!

Tagging @ranchthoughts, @respectthepetty, @solitaryandwandering

[littlewolfdunbar101]

Theo Raeken Rant.

I know people have their own opinion's, but I hate it when people hate on Theo. Theo's actions were not entirely his own doing. You cannot discuss Theo's actions without acknowledging the role played by the Dread Doctors. They manipulated Theo, using his desire for power and acceptance to further their own sinister agenda. They preyed upon Theo's insecurities and exploited them for their own gain. Theo's upbringing was far from ideal. He faced abandonment and neglect, causing him to yearn for a sense of belonging. When the Dread Doctors offered him acceptance and a chance to become powerful, Theo was seduced by the idea. In his quest for belonging, he made questionable decisions that ultimately led to his downfall. His actions are seen as villainous, but it is crucial to consider the broader context. Like come on! The Dread Doctors treated him as a mere pawn in their game, manipulating him to do their bidding! He became a tool to unleash chaos upon Beacon Hills, a means to an end for the malevolent forces at play. But despite the manipulation he endured, Theo showed glimpses of redemption and growth. He realized the error of his ways and sought to make amends for his past actions. His journey towards redemption showcased his capacity for change and highlighted the complexity of his character. His experiences taught him valuable lessons about the consequences of his actions. He learned the importance of trust, friendship, and loyalty (and love if you ship Thiam). Despite the hardships he faced, he demonstrated a willingness to change and grow, proving that even those who have made mistakes can find redemption. His character defies traditional notions of good and evil. He exists in the gray area, where morality is not always black and white. The complexity adds depth to his character, making him more relatable and human-like. Just like real people, Theo had flaws and made mistakes, but his journey showcases the potential for redemption and growth. And that's it. That's all I wanted to say.

[buck-yyyy]

okay so i found this a couple days ago while reading tgf but i just gotta post it now:

he’s realized.

this is slightly contradicting to what he says (but he’s an unreliable narrator so i’m talking half of what he says with a grain of salt), but i will forever believe that his obsession with pippa was not love, but rather a combination of unprocessed trauma, trauma bonding, and repression.

the depiction of his total obsession with her is NOT a depiction of what unrequited love feels like. it was desperate, panicked, and laced with his hurt relating to the death of his mother.

he subconsciously replaced his idealized version of his mother with an idealized version of pippa.

remember from the beginning of the book, when theo’s dad makes him go to his mom’s apartment and starts talking about how he made mistakes in their marriage, but that theo’s mom wasn’t so great either, and how he gets kinda defensive?

he’s preoccupied by the painting, but the line ‘not trusting myself to reply’ implies that he knew that he’d say something he’d regret out of an emotional reaction.

obviously a large piece of that is knowing that his father is an aggressive drunk who treated his mother like shit, and clearly continues to do that even after her death. however, it also plays into the repeated idolization of his mother- and the only other character we see that with is pippa.

for the majority of the book, he has nothing negative to say about her, only mentioning her flaws as a way to convince himself that theo and theo alone was worthy of her love for loving her DESPITE her flaws.

he only mentions pippa or his mother’s flaws when it benefits his stance in a situation- his mother when he’s actively uncomfortable with his dad, pippa when he’s creating a version of himself that his her savior simply for loving her.

i think it’s interesting that only after reconnecting with kitsey does he start to recognize his obsession with pippa as something unhealthy- because that timeline also aligns with this quote, where he later realizes that his reintegration into the barbours was the beginning of his… recovery? that’s not the right word, perhaps new mindset? you know what i’m trying to say.

ignore my shitty underlining i can’t draw a straight line to save my damn life

theo isn’t narrating the story as it goes, he’s retelling it from the perspective of someone who has experienced everything he’s describing and is looking back.

so knowing that he only moved past his obsession with pippa AFTER being reintroduced to experiencing kindness and finding people he felt at home with, at the same time as realizing that his “love” for pippa was interlaced with trauma and grief for his mother, really implies that it was never love at all, but rather simply trauma bonding as a way to process the grief from losing his mother.

[soul-wanderer]

Alright, it’s been a few days since the last episode aired, and I figured I wouldn’t become any more chill about this, so we might as well tackle this rant regarding people’s judgement of Theo’s character and the underlying racism issue in this debate.

Let’s start off with the fact that we’ve slowly been learning more and more about Theo’s past, which is relevant when it comes to unpacking his current behaviours. In 05x17 we learn that Theo’s best friend, who turned out to be gay, was rejected by his own parents due to their beliefs and that Theo let his friend crash at his place until said friend’s dad showed up at his house with a gun, ready to kill his friend. We then subsequently learn that this both highly affected both Theo and his friend, to the point where Theo is still getting emotional over it when telling this story years later.

We also know that Theo grew up in a tight-knit but poor community and that he lost his dad when he was eight years old and that he still misses him, which becomes apparent after the barbershop fire. We also get glimpses at the overall tone within the community, when his friends/family sort of tease him about the person he’s become, and it’s clear that Theo is struggling with that, because on one hand his career is important to him, but on the other hand it has removed him from his community, especially because he tried so hard to blend in at the SFD and part of him is probably still trying to prove that he is worthy of his career, despite where he came from.

In 05x04 Theo tells Vic about his previous relationships and pretty much admits that they were all toxic (”I didn't think it was real if it didn't make you want to kill yourself”) and that Vic was the first person he didn’t have to prove his love to.

Fast-forward a few years, we get to Theo’s time as a captain at another station and to his friendship with Travis and Michael. The three of them were best friends until the tragic accident that cost Michael’s life. There’s never been any doubt that his death has absolutely wrecked Theo, to the point where he asked for his own demotion, meaning the SFD did not find him guilty, simply because him misjudging the situation was a mistake - a grave one, but a mistake nonetheless, and mistakes do happen, because we’re all just humans after all. It is also important to note that Travis, at this point, has fully forgiven Theo, which he keeps making clear, by reassuring Theo in everything he does. He even goes as far as saying, “No, you’re not [screwing it up]. You’re figuring it out. There’s a big difference. You got this, man. You’re a great firefighter. I’m proud to call you my captain”, which is a big deal, because the last time Theo was captain, it got his own husband killed and Travis, of all people, was ready to forgive him for the mistake he made and trust him to be captain again.

So, let’s get to the good part now. The part where Theo is clearly stressed to the max and to the point where he has seemingly random outbursts because he feels like he’s losing control left and right - something he absolutely wants to avoid, because he wants to do better, because he doesn’t want to lose another person, because there is so much pressure on him, and large portion of it is coming from himself. And Vic keeps pushing and probing, which is absolutely understandable, but Theo clearly isn’t at a point where he is ready for confrontation, but needs reassurance and support instead. It doesn’t make him a terrible human being, it just makes him about as flawed as any other person on that goddamn show. I mean, remember how much Maya screwed up as a captain at first? And the team still managed to give her another chance, so why not extend the same second chance to Theo?

And this is where we get to the uncomfortable part, because part of the reason why Theo is very much judged differently than Maya (or any other captain on this show), very much feels and looks like underlying racism and very much matches what we know about his past. Theo himself has told us between the lines that he is working hard on his career and to be professional and be taken seriously on the job. Which, given his ethnicity and upbringing, is probably really fucking hard. If we take one look at the captains and other people in leadership positions, it’s not hard to figure out that the majority is middle-aged white men. And well, Theo is not that. But Theo worked hard to get there, to prove himself worthy and capable of this position. Even when he doubted himself after the mistake he made. And he still does - doubt himself. Which proves that he has the heart in the right place, because he cares. He cares about his team, and he cares about doing things right, and he knows when he is messing things up.

And most of all, he knows he is going to be treated differently, he is going to be judged harder, for messing up. He is going to get judged for his temperament, for his words, for his manners. He is going to get judged for everything he is and for everything he isn’t. And even Vic acknowledged his code-switching as a means of survival, but sometimes that still isn’t enough and Theo is painfully aware of that, too.

The bottom line: Does Theo need to learn how to handle the pressure differently? Sure! But what he needs, is the support and reassurance of his team - and Travis gave him exactly that, and Andy was trying to give him that, too, and I’d like to believe that this kind of support is what is going to help him find a balance and escape this crushing weight of responsibility he is facing, simply because of who he is as a person.

And I am sure Andy and Theo will get past their “argument” soon enough, because they both have a similar temperament and grew up in similar communities, so if anyone understands Theo, it’s going to be Andy, of all people at the station and because Theo clearly felt terrible once he learned that Andy was trying to do something nice for him.

[rahabs]

I honestly can't see the hype and interest in Diana Spencer either, but perhaps Anne Boleyn could go to the top of that pile? There is practically a new portrayal of AB every year, and none of the recent ones are even good. Elizabeth Tudor can possibly fit somewhere in there too, considering her amount of portrayals in comparison to Mary Tudor's.

Good point. I think I've just actively blocked out a lot of the new portrayals of Anne Boleyn recently (especially that 2021 series; I'm happier forgetting that exists), and my dash is never as flooded with her. @en-theos has warned me of another recent miniseries too. Somehow amidst all this 'The Tudors' remains one of the better, more nuanced portrayals of Anne, but then again I think 'The Tudors' was unique amongst all Tudor/Henry VIII-related media for the deliberate care it took to portray the religious and political aspects of Henry's reign beyond just "hurr durr six waifus", with a lot of focus on the supporting characters of his reign (even if it's not always accurate and sometimes important figures like Cranmer and Norfolk just go missing--but I loved everything we got with the Pilgrimage of Grace and Henry's religious conflicts since most people don't realise Henry was a doctrinal Catholic all his life and the show did show that; furthermore, this is still the best portrayal of Cromwell and I loved the attention given to Edward Seymour, Bishop Fisher, all the politics surrounding Henry, Colm Wilkinson was there for some reason, etc).

... This is in danger of turning into another "why I still think The Tudors is one of the best piece of Tudor media despite its flaws" reply, so I will stop there (my dissertation was on Tudor monarchs so I know far more than I should), but.

Honestly I'll fully admit I'm biased and just find Anne Boleyn more interesting than Diana Spencer (it's just too modern for me--as callous as it sounds Diana Spencer hasn't been dead long enough for me to be invested in her or interested), but I've been avoiding the recent Anne-centred shows so it just slipped my mind. (Also, Wolf Hall was bad too, sorry, I stand by it--it was the same stereotypical portrayals of everyone claiming to be 'unique' because it was from Cromwell's POV, but The Tudors still managed to have a better Cromwell and Anne at the end of the day. Vaguely hilarious.)

[resetting37]

🌻🌿🌲 for oc game, choose three ocs!!

thank you !!

16 oc questions

let's choose heidi, ian, and theo !

🌻 What advice would your OC give to their younger self? What advice does your OC need now?

Heidi has soooo much she wants to tell her younger self. "Take the art history course instead of economics" "Apply for an early internship instead of a barista job" "Do not give Whitney your contact info" etc. etc. As for the advice she needs now, maybe be a little patient. Sometimes stories happen naturally, and the ones she desperately seeks don't lead to anything interesting.

Ian would tell his younger self to take more advantage of his position. As a small kid he wasn't the son of an empress yet, but he still could have gotten away with some snooping and exploring. In fact, Ian would want to tell his younger self to specifically seek out certain pictures or documents and store them somewhere safe so his future self could find use to them. Current Ian needs to be told the scariest tales happen right beneath his feet but don't worry, he's going to find that out soon enough :-3

Theo would just remind his younger self that there's no shame in being quiet, he'll learn to eventually embrace it. Idk what current Theo could be told that would be useful. Maybe to remember to pack extra camera film ? He's missed out on some good footage in the past because of that.

noted !

🌷 What does your OC hate about themself? What lies about themself do they believe? On the flip side, What does your OC love about themself?

Heidi hates that she's not "successful", and while she blames her lack of experience, she also worries she just doesn't have what it takes. but also that ties in with the lies about herself. She's not unsuccessful in her journalism, she's still in her early twenties and hasn't cracked a big case yet, no big deal ! She loves that she's persistent, and that she sees through the lies of the city of Evelow. Sure, it makes her mad, but a hell of a lot better than being clueless.

Ian doesn't dabble too much in self loathing, but I do think he's sometimes insecure about how he turned out given he's the son of the empress. (But I think he's more so critical of the position of his mom, like she didn't have to go and do all that, come on now...) As far as lies, he accepts criticism he faces as being an unsuccessful heir to his mother's reputation. Ian is like "sure idgaf I'm just chilling and having fun" sometimes, but he needs to give himself more credit, as he's smarter and more passionate about his work than he lets on. He loves his horror novel collection, but besides material things, Ian likes that he at least makes an attempt to get along with everyone.

Despite Theo wanting to tell their past self that being shy is okay, they still wish they spoke up more. Theo I don't think Theo has much of a reputation, therefore there aren't any lies for them to believe ? That beside the ones they believe about themself, in that being quiet is a flaw.

🌲 What is the kindest thing your OC has ever done for someone? What is the kindest thing someone has ever done for them? On the flip side, what is the worst thing your OC has done to another person?

Kindest thing Heidi has done is admit her fault recognize that lack of criticism isn't a substitute for a compliment, so when she started to compliment others it came as a welcome surprise. I'm not sure if there's a specific action/interaction, but the nicest moment to her was when her big story on the "Ellocast Project" (aka some in-universe lore) got a lot of attention. I guess the nice aspects come from the help she got in uncovering information.

Heidi actually isn't as bad as her deadpan face indicates, but she has been more hurtful than she meant to be, and it's especially a gut punch when its a fight with a friend. I imagine she had one heated argument and said some mean things that felt more honest from an observant person like Heidi.

Kindest thing Ian has done was something I'd imagine an older version of him doing, which is being more active in the city's community, whether it be teacher assisting or putting up education projects. He always loved "talking to others about things" so I'd like to think that would continue as he grew older. Nicest thing someone has done for him was sell the original records of the first sighting of the wailing swallows (more in-universe lore) at a very good price.

worst thing Ian has done to someone is hard to decide. He's never intentionally mean, but I'm thinking he may have accidentally exposed an anonymous identity on his radio show and got that person in trouble.

Ian: "And with us today is an eye witness of the incident, and turns out it's an employee of the institution itself ! Please welcome Pollux Wynn ! ... Or is it Dr. Wynn ?

*Other side of line falls silent*

Ian: "...hello ?"

Theo always goes out of his way to do nice things, I'd say the nicest thing was to wake up at 2am because his best friend Heidi calls him saying she uncovered an entrance into an out-of-commission courthouse and insists the morning would be too late. Theo didn't even ask Heidi to owe him one after getting up out of bed at that time. Nicest thing done for him was when someone anonymously covered his meal at his local diner. Though as nice as this was, it did leave Theo a little upset he couldn't return the favor lmao

Worst thing Theo has done towards someone else was break into someone's house. Look, most of the place Theo's going into aren't residential or are abandoned, but he did learn there's still thriving communities in the edges of Evelow. whoops !

[returntosaturn271995]

Sunday, April 23rd: Home cooked meals

At midnight tonight, John Mulaney’s Baby J standup special debuts. I’ve been a fan of his for a long time, consuming his style of stand-up and letting it shape my own sense of humor for years. Alexa and I used to use his jokes as shorthand. When his addiction relapsed during the pandemic, I followed it, both hoping to be inspired through his recovery and kind of hating myself (and many others) for needing him to be some sort of hero. 

John Mulaney is an entertainer, and this is the most content people have gotten from him in years. He owes me nothing, despite the power of an audience as a whole. All schitcks wear thin after a while, no marriage is perfect. 

It’s oddly comforting. 

On Theo Von’s podcast, they were discussing growing up and Theo said something that resonated so deep, like Deepak Chopra if he was  Lousiana White trash. Something along the lines of “It’s like I don’t want to grow up until I have the things I thought I deserved as a kid.”

Wow. Fuck. Maybe that’s why I cling to youth, because I still want a second shot at it. To be loved the way I always wanted to be. To feel important. Special. Validated. Even though I’m pretty sure if I met my inner child she’d be a total bitch. Most sensitive, imaginative people are bitches. 

Little starry eyed bitches. At odds with reality and trying to create it in their own image. A noble, deeply flawed, and somewhat silly pursuit. 

Other highlights from the weekend:

Met up with James and his friend at the beach Friday

Hung out with Kendall and Kelly and Brit and Melissa on Thursday, we got Cava and hung out at Kelly’s place. 

Farmer’s market with Lisa on Saturday in Poway. Loved it and her. 

Today I mostly kicked back, did some laundry (opened Indonesian patchouli laundry sauce pods mmmm), watched my new favorite show suggested by Andrew “Jury Duty”- thoughts on that later. Talked to Maddy on the phone (she’s already stressed for NYC, which is to be expected, it’s Maddy. But I’m proud of her, she’s getting acknowledged at a Gala on Thursday for her role in domestic abuse reduction through the charity One Love.). I also made an amazing teriyaki steak from Trader Joes while listening to My Favorite Murder. 

Also another smoothie because I’m trying to eat everything in the fridge before I get on a plane Wednesday.

Now I’m trying to convince myself to do a little yoga. 

Fuck it. Might as well. 

You never know who might be watching. 

[margoshansons]

I will say, Saccharina succeeds where Daenerys fails. 

TLDR: Saccharina Frostwhip is a fantastic character and everything I wish Daenerys Targaryen could’ve been, and her flaws and entitlement make her relationship with Ruby and Amethar so fucking interesting. I’m still Team Ruby when it comes down to it though.

Also Emily Axford and Siobhan Thompson I love you.

Because here is a woman I can actually see earning the respect of the people through her deeds and not just through name alone, especially because so much of the politics of Candia rely on the Sweetening Path vs the Bulbian Church, so rumor of a Witch Queen from the streets who can literally call storms with a wave of her hand would of course draw the attention of the common folk, especially if she had a legitimate claim.

But they both have the same flaw which is a lack of empathy and a sense of entitlement. Saccharina’s comes from a more noble place. She’s been denied love and family her whole life and was told there was a family out there who would always accept her, and her excitement overcame any sort of empathy she could offer in the moment she meets Ruby and Amethar. 

As a result, she’s hurt and upset that they don’t immediately accept her, especially because she has a constant echo chamber of marauders who worship her at every turn. And then Theo and Cumulous drop into that same level of worship almost immediately, because they see Lazuli, they see an answer to their problems. 

But that’s not the love she was promised, the love she wants, the love she was denied. And so she can’t fathom why these people won’t accept her and love her, especially since not only is she blood related to them, but she’s actively helping them out and saving their asses over and over again. 

But she can’t get out of her own wants and ambitions and entitlement to consider what Amethar and Ruby and everyone else are going through. Ruby lost her sister, Amethar lost his daughter. Their home has been taken from them, they were betrayed by one of their closest friends and the man that helped raise them. The man that put swords in Ruby and Jet’s hands and then tried to kill them when they thought they were safe. They do not have the emotional or mental capacity to entertain anything but political alliances at this point. 

When Amethar looks at Saccharina he doesn’t just see his oldest daughter. He sees the product of his biggest mistake, his biggest shame. He sees an endless reminder of the fact that he is not his sisters. That it was a mistake to have him on the throne. He sees a way out of his duty and a way to save what remains of his family. 

When Ruby looks at Saccharina she doesn’t see a sister. She sees a political rival playing chess with her family’s lives. Using the situation to exploit and manipulate them into giving her exactly what she wants. She sees someone trying to take the place of her OTHER HALF, someone trying to replace Jet. She sees exactly who Jet would’ve been and everything Ruby herself isn’t. Saccharina is a constant reminder of how much Ruby has lost and it infuriates her that Saccharina can’t be happy with either being Queen or being her Sister, she has to be both. 

“I understand that you lost everything, but I was born with nothing” 

That statement alone proves that while Saccharina may understand the hurt and pain that Ruby is going through, she cannot empathize with her family’s reactions or understand her own lack of awareness when it comes to the fact that she has everything to gain and her family has everything to lose. Yes, she was born with nothing, but she is actively taking everything away from Ruby. Her mom and by extension, herself, are the reason Ruby lost everything. From Ruby’s perspective anyway. 

I love all three of the House Rocks Princesses, but Saccharina’s inability to understand and empathize with Ruby and her constant expectation that Ruby should love her despite having only known her for three days makes me unable to like her and enjoy her as much as I originally would, although it makes her an incredibly compelling character.

[liliaeth]

People have talked a lot about First Kill, and how great it is as lesbian representation. And I love that for any wlw enjoying it as the young adult show it is. It's not great art, it's cheesy, and it's awesome just for that.

But the one thing I haven't seen mentioned even nearly as much, is how good it is for racial representation.

I never watched Vampire Diaries, so can't compare it to that or any of it's off shoots. (except that apparently Bonnie was done dirty, according to my tumblr feed)

I did watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Supernatural, Teen Wolf, and plenty of other fantasy shows. And it's led me to notice how rarely shows like these treat characters of color, and especially black girls and women, as characters in their own right. Characters with feelings and emotions that are just as important as those of the white characters. (esp. those of white men)

Just think about the characters of color in Teen Wolf, to give a most recent example.

Yes, Scott was the main character. But if the show had one flaw, it was that it consistently treated Scott's feelings as less important than those of his white friends. Stiles, Derek, Jackson, Isaac, ... could all whine and complain about the most minor thing, and it would be treated as this big important moment.

But Scott was expected to go through enormous trauma, without complaint, and was supposed to come out of it, primarily caring for his white friends, and how the things he went through, affected the white people around him.

When Boyd died, TW made his death more about him comforting Derek that he did the right thing in biting him, than about the horror of a teenage boy dying.

Davies actively claimed that Mason was 'too good to have permanent consequences from his possession by the Beast'

We got pretty much no interactions between Scott and Hayden after Scott bit her, despite him becoming her alpha, no moment to explore how both of them felt about it. In contrast to all such scenes we got from Liam.

Peter was never called out on what he did to Scott, not even by Scott's mother, and even after Scott literally died, Melissa was more ready to speech on him on what he owed others, than to console him on what had been done to him, and what he just went through.

And that's not even starting on how they treated Kira, let out the actress playing her.

And that's just a few examples.

So when I watched First Kill, I was happily surprised to find how much better this show handled it's non white characters.

From the first episode on.

How they cut the ep in half, showing the same events from two perspectives, first Juliette's and then Calliope's. Giving equal depth and importance to introducing both of them and the different families they came from. What their parents expected of them, and what their hopes and dreams were, and why...

And that was just the first episode.

As the series continued, we learn just as much about both families, different things, sure, but the series shows us what is important to each and why.

Cal isn't expected to be the strong black girl, who is just there to look after Juliette's needs. Cal's own feelings matter just as much.

We see them both fall in love, and why. Sure there's some lust involved at first, but soon that turns to more.

Even Ben, who in any other show would just be 'the black friend', instead is fully fleshed out, and gets to call out his white best friend when he feels she's done him wrong, and when the white boy he has a crush on mistreats him, he says so and breaks it off.

Often with characters like that, (esp. in fanfic), if a char like that were replaced with a teddy bear, you wouldn't notice the difference

But here, Ben is a full fledged individual, with needs, backstory, a plotline that hopefully will be built on more next season)

Cal's brothers get to have their own personality, the studious gentle but driven and dilligent studious older brother, Theo, and the hot hardheaded and somewhat arrogant jock, Apollo.

Both who get storylines of their own. And whose feelings matter.

In this show it isn't just the Fairmonts who get to be three dimensional characters, the Burns family and their friends are equally explored, and it's sad to see just how refreshing that is. (like seriously, there are far too few shows that are like this, Black Lightning is one of the only other ones I can think of)

[ylenia-pron-eeleneea]

Take me crazy, but I think Theo is wrong for Eloise, not because Theo isn’t t in the books as many Philoise stans say but for real realistic reasons, so I will then consider both people based on Sir Phillip of the books/show and Theo of the show (obv) for greater completeness. I mostly consider Eloise both books and shows, the books show Eloise’s psychological aspect while the show only stuffed the character with Marxist ideas more for entertainment but in the end the character is the same: a girl who hates classism, loves to read, would like to study, has no problem with the idea of being a spinster and has a more pronounced intelligence than her brothers

Eloise isn’t indifferent to London society, although she despises it, however she must play the game, it is no coincidence that she is forced into society at the age of 18 and doesn’t attend university.

Eloise is still very young and must learn to be more cunning, because her outings with Theo have put in difficulty not only her reputation but also the whole family, especially Francesca and Hyacinth, the younger sisters and despite being discovered for the first time with Lady Whistledown she continued the relationship careless of anything.

Theo is a crush, the first for Eloise and he is a kid, with beautiful ideas and philosophies, but at the time philosophy and good ideas do not take you as far or high as some would like to think: Theo who takes Eloise with him to university, I did not write this but a Theloise stan. I don’t know if I should laugh or cry out of ignorance.

What would their marriage bring? Eloise leaves her home, Aubrey Hall to be with a printer, but what changes? Eloise could be a printer but would she be really happy? I doubt she wanted to print, she wants to write and publish her ideas which other authors like Jane Austen or the Brönte sisters have also done. So what really makes Theo unique compared to Phillip?

Phillip is not against Eloise’s ideas, he is a man with passions and would not despise that she published them, he would certainly help her publish them by any means and is certainly not a kid, he is a man who knows how to take over the reins of his life, who married a woman who could have ignored her existence and continued his life, who chose to honor her and raise her children (by the way read my post on why Phillip is the Im/perfect husband), could safely marry Eloise without the world turning like a pancake.

Many people think it’s out of Eloise’s character to marry Phillip because he’s rich while Theo and poor and would make his character more show-compliant: well if you still think so, reread what I wrote before: Eloise isn’t stupid, she knows what it means to marry a man like Theo and dishonour-

Some say Eloise of the book is different from the show: WRONG! She’s just cunninger because she’s an adult but otherwise she’s the same rash girl who goes to Phillip’s without warning and marries an academic who licks the ground where Eloise walks-

Bridgerton, all the works speak of love certainly, but above all of finding love in marriage that at the time was not really obvious. I’m sure Phillip is the best choice because he’s in his clumsy personality he’s Eloise’s juxtaposition. Where he is rational and pragmatic she is dreamy and idealistic and I find that she is the best couple, because despite their differences they complement each other perfectly, a bit like Plato’s Phaedrus, two mirror halves but which together are completed.-

The love my dear readers is not to find the printer with your own Marxist ideas or the botanist with your own passion for plants: but to find the person who appreciates you for who you are, for your flaws and your merits, who knows how to endure and above all to support your madness over time: that is why Eloise and Phillip in the book are perfect, they are different but they would do everything for each other.