#i love these long asks they're so fun to answer

[novella-november]

Not to harsh your joy regarding your personal project, (which does sound awesome!) the fact that you keep answering the "can I do fanfic?" questions with "technically yes, but have you considered not doing that?" does not actually *feel* very fanfic friendly. (Especially for anyone who enjoys fanfic as a hobby and isn't also an ofic writer. For example, I personally write almost exclusively character studies that are an explicit reaction to canon; there is no real way to write that sort of thing except as fanfic.)

Which is just a long-winded way of requesting that you maybe consider less of a caveat with the FAQ if you make one, please.

oh that was definitely not my intention, thanks for the ask! I think it was mostly just because I got that same question a few times in a row from various anons within the same time span (including some that were not published publicly), it just happened that I was thinking of my own project(s, plural now) in the last day when I answered those two, for those who want an extra creative challenge.

There's a reason my own original thing has been in my head for the last ten years without me actually writing it while I've written and posted tons of fanfiction, and even now some of my original works are going to be based on Arsene Lupin, so they'd technically be considered fanfiction since they're based on and use an established work for the characters and settings --

--writing completely original fic *is* harder, and that's exactly why I'm *suggesting* (not requiring!) that people consider taking 1 out of short story 4 challenges to look at their work in a new light.

90% of what I read and (until I actually start and finish my original works) 100% of what I've written in my life is fanfic. I have nothing against fanfic, otherwise I woudn't even be interested in creative writing.

But its also not a diss to say "Would you consider looking at your [fanfic] writing from a new angle and try to figure out different ways of going about it?"

Honestly, being able to even consider this option *as a fun extra challenge* is meant to help improve your writing and creative skills; it's not meant as a cheap shot at people who choose to write fanfiction because I my self write and read tons of it,

it's me saying "if you want even more practice at creative writing during these monthly challenges, try branching out a little bit from your comfort zone, you may be pleasantly surprised."

People who write and read fanfiction already have tons of creative experience, and if people like me and many other fanfic writers who one day dream of being published authors, want to broaden our horizons and seek new experiences, one of the easiest exercises is to take something we're planning on writing or already wrote, and see what we would change to make it brand new and standalone--

-- something that not only helps you come up with new ideas, but also will help when it comes time to *edit*, which can be, depending on the length and complexity of your story, can be a complicated process:

whether that means having to delete scenes entirely,

changing what a character says,

altering an aspect of the worldbuilding to fix plot holes

, re-writing your character so they're not overpowered because it was ruining the stakes and tension,

changing the POV of chapters because it was ruining the flow of the story,

etc etc etc.

I love fan fiction.

I love reading it and I love writing it, and for many people who take on monthly writing challenges, it is a way to test ourselves and gear ourselves up and prove to ourselves that not only can we write x amount of words, but it proves to ourselves that we are *capable of creating*, and for many creatives, that ultimately leads to crafting our own unique stories;

if you're already taking place in a monthly writing challenge, why not push the bounds a little bit *if you're so inclined* and test the waters? Especially when you're surrounded by a community who is cheering you on, every step of the way?

Every Nanowrimo I ever won was fanfiction. Heck, even not during November I once did 40k words in two weeks for a fic.

I always stalled out when I tried to write original works;

it is much easier to start small with a single short story than it is to try to write an entirely original novel, and my encouraging people to try baby steps by *experimenting* with one short story out of four in a month is not meant to be a diss against fanfiction,

but an *encouragement to those like me* who were so eager to write original works but floundered when I tried to jump into the deep end and felt disheartened.

Many fanfic authors aspire to write original fics, and thats who that challenge is for, for the people who want to write original works but are too afraid to fully commit; I'll still be writing and posting fanfiction even if I become a published author, even If I just have to come up with a few new pen-names to post them under.

There's absolutely no judgement on anyone who wants to write fanfiction for these challenges, my "caveat" as you say, is only there as encouragement to those like me who are afraid to take the first step, or uncertain of how to even *begin* that first step, not any kind of condemnation.

TL;DR:

I did not mean for my responses on the "can I write fanfiction" to come off as rude or looking down on fanfiction, its meant to be an encouragment to all the people like me who love fanfic and started out writing fanfiction, and dream of writing original works to take the first step, with a community of like-minded people all taking the same challenge.

Like every other challenge aspect of these events, taking a fanfic idea and turning it into an original short story is completely optional and meant as inspiration, just like following prompts for events is not mandatory, and even completing the 30k word goal is not mandatory; the goal for this month is to create, get in the habit of creating, and having fun with it!

[nicosraf]

I hope its alright to ask for writing tips, i know you have plenty on your plate already so definitely disregard if this is a lot to answer. Was there anything you used that helped you develop characters during the writing process? Like guidelines or tips or even other books?? I wanted to take on writing for fun but I'm quickly realizing there is a lot of,,,, planning and learning that goes along with the writing process. I feel like I have so many ideas and if I don't get them out I will soon explode 🥴

Hello! I always like answering writing questions!

I don't use guides! I've mostly got my own method now, but I've been writing for a long time, and one day, you'll probably have your own method too. I can share with you how I make characters, but try different things! Experiment!

(I also want to emphasize that if you're writing for fun then don't worry about it being good. If you're writing seriously, also don't worry about it being good. Write bad characters, if you want. Do what makes you happy and the work will always be good.)

My rubric for a character, in order of importance (for the most part) is: immediate relevance, themes, arc, background, attributes.

(Note: this isn't the order in which I come up with a character, just how I plot them).

Let me use Rosier as an example of how I typically think of character construction (Note: this isn't exactly how I thought up Rosier)

Initial idea: Lucifer needs a kind figure in his life, maybe someone he lives with. Not Michael. I want him to have a strong platonic relationship. Next idea: Maybe he'll stay kind while Lucifer worsens as a person. Next idea: He should fall but not because of a sin he committed. Next idea: He's older than Lucifer. Next idea: He had a life before Lucifer, too. Next idea: Something, something, fruit. It shows up everywhere in the (imagined) story. Fruit angel? Next idea: Messy, messy feelings about sex.

I start sorting this out as per my little guide:

Immediate Relevance: A platonic relationship for the protagonist, someone who will bring fruits to the Earth. Now what can he bring to this book?

Themes (with an eye for Rosier's relevance to the plot (and its own themes) and the most plot-focused characters' themes): Unconditional kindness, fruit and devil, no ambition, loss of innocence, weakness, not desiring sex (opposed to the theme of others and the book itself), unwillingly creating (while some others are desperate to create), falling from choice, demon who isn't a good demon. How can we structure these themes into a story?

Arc: Rosier, the fruit angel, happily takes newborn Lucifer in. He loves the paradise where nothing ever happens. He has a situationship with the angel who will become the demon of lust. He suffers at Lucifer's hands but forgives him. He loves him. But he doesn't do enough. He suffers at Asmodeus' hands. He chooses to fall. He cares for Lucifer's body. He creates a body for Asmodeus. He follows his friends (again) to a cave of demons. He doesn't want to be alone. He chooses demonhood, despite his kindness. But how can this arc happen to him? (There's a seperate checklist for an arc in my head, with the most important part being "Kill your character." It doesn't have to be literal. Kill them in the sense that they're no longer who they were at the start of the story.)

Background: This arc can only happen because of who Rosier is. And a person is their life, so what is Rosier's life? He was born out of a nova in the sky like a fruit. God hugs him tight, but he won't remember, and God will never meet him, not really. [More about Rosier's background here; this post is getting too long]. What has his background shaped him to be?

Attributes: Is kind, is patient, has learned to be happy with the bare minimum, has learned to make excuses for people. Loves fruits (obviously), likes baking, is fussy. [So on]

You see how all these things build into each other? It's like writing a book in itself. Actually, I think writing a plot and writing a character are very very similar! Because a story is a narrative — a collection of scenes/lines with a beginning and an end, each scene typically affecting the next — and a life is a narrative too — a collection of experiences with a beginning and an end, each experience affecting the next.

You might be curious why "Arc" is above "Background"; again, this isn't the order in which you should come up with a character or anything, but I find that placing big (author-ly) importance on the arc happening in the book/story itself can keep you from falling into the pitfall of "backstory of character is more interesting than what theyre currently up to in the plot." (Also this rubric isn't 100%. Sometimes you have to move the importance of things around. Sometimes a minor character should only have immediate relevance and attributes.)

I hope this is helpful! Good luck!! But please don't worry too much... Just have fun! Write a sexy character and see where they take you

[hime-bee]

Hey Hime! I am so sorry to ask this of you, but I just want to make sure I get this done correctly because I've been thinking about it a lot actually!

How would Leumin react if he found out his Petal was a shapeshifter? How do you think he would react if he found out they knew of all of his emotions whenever he experienced it?

How would he feel if the shapeshifter literally gave their core, literally the source of their nearly immortal life, to him, in hopes that he would know how much he means to them?

@dotchi18

(You obviously do not have to answer this if you don't want to, though thank you for taking the time to read these silly questions! (And if you want, I am a little curious about a few of the others, considering they probably don't have a near 0% chance of encountering shapeshifters like Leumin and Lucas X3))

MMM, that's a good question actually! And I have no issue answering it ^^ Thank you for sending this in! Honestly, Leu is a pretty openminded guy. If MC was a shapeshifter, he wouldn't have an issue with that. I think he'd be a bit embarrassed to learn that they can feel all of his emotions, though, because that would mean they know how obsessed and crazy-in-love he is 😭 But he'd get over it eventually, especially if they return his feelings!

As for the second part, that's outta the question for Leu- he wouldn't want his partner to give up their immortal life for him. Regardless, if that was what they wanted, then he wouldn't stop them. He'd find it to be very romantic, albeit sad. He would rather give his life for them first 😌 Oh also! Here's the link to the fanfic Dotchi wrote for Leu, if someone reading this ask hasn't read it yet!

(It's no problem, really!! 💞 As for the ML's, like Njero and Flores, they're probably already used to magical beings, so a shapeshifter S/O wouldn't be anything too out of the ordinary!)

[stop-breaking-my-heart-dragonage]

I'm sorry, but why don't we talk about Witch Hunt more? Seriously, I think it might be my favorite DAO DLC. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the hell out of Awakening. Leliana's Song is good. The Golems of Amgarrak is... eh, bad. I didn't really like that one. The Warden's Keep, The Stone Prisoner, and Return to Ostagar are all amazing and I love them.

But Witch Hunt??? Y'all. I can't. I'm too emotional right now.

I have at least one dynamic from each game that I'm obsessed with. For DAO, it's the dynamic between romanced!Alistair, Tabris, and Morrigan. I've talked before about the dark ritual and stuff in this post, so let's just say that my Tabris, Rose, very much has unfinished business and a score to settle with Morrigan.

Tabris and Morrigan grew so close throughout the entire journey of DAO, y'know? Close enough that Morrigan claimed she thought of her as a sister, and Tabris felt the same way... and then in one single moment, it's just shattered.

There were signs that Tabris ignored, like the way Morrigan dismissed all the circle mages and claimed they should be left to their fates since they "allow themselves to be caged like cattle." Or how she disapproved every time Tabris wanted to help those down on their luck. Or, worst of all, when Morrigan disapproved when Tabris chose to kill the Tevinter slaver instead of making a deal with him to use the lives of the remaining elves to grant her more power... one of those caged elves being Tabris' father.

But she gave Morrigan the benefit of the doubt; she's sheltered and only had Flemeth as an influence and teacher, of course she's unempathetic and selfish, but there is good in Morrigan's heart. She can learn to be more empathetic and to care for others.

At least, Tabris believed that until Morrigan confessed that she's known about the ultimate sacrifice and the dark ritual from the beginning, that Flemeth sent her with the wardens with a purpose that Morrigan intends to follow through with. It's devastating and it broke Tabris' heart.

She just learned that a warden has to die to stop the blight, and that warden could be her or Alistair. Not only are they romantically involved, but they've been through all of this shit together, they're the only ones who fully understand what being a grey warden is like. They carry the burden on their shoulders, and they're probably going to lose each other to the archdemon.

And Morrigan waits until she's at her most vulnerable to ask that of her.

Again, I've gone into more detail about that before, but at this point Rose is done with people deceiving her. She's done with Morrigan... except she's not. It's the betrayal and knowing Morrigan got what she wanted that causes Rose to go searching for her.

To Morrigan's credit, she does give some answers. She claims she didn't thing the archdemon would show itself so soon, and she did what she had to because she didn't wish to see Tabris hurt or die. I believe her, and to an extent, Tabris believes her... but Morrigan still doesn't get WHY it's a betrayal.

Morrigan's right: She will never understand Tabris, and Tabris will never understand her. She can insist it's not a betrayal all she wants, but it absolutely is, and Tabris has never allowed anyone who crossed her to just walk away... except for Morrigan.

Until now.

Hearing that Morrigan manipulated her way into the trust of this Dalish clan so she could steal their book and run is just further evidence in Tabris' eye that she hasn't changed. Maybe it was always foolish to believe she could.

So... she stabbed Morrigan.

She didn't do it to kill her; Morrigan is the daughter of Flemeth and a powerful mage with healing magic, a mere stab isn't going to kill her.

No, it's about what the stab represents: "I am done with you."

And how the scene plays out? It's so dramatic and good, just the way everything slows down, the music, how they make eye contact as the stabbing happens just....

I know it sounds really bad, and this is the part where I remind everyone that I ADORE Morrigan, but the stabbing ending is so satisfying from a story-telling standpoint for my playthrough.

It's so tragic and it hurts and I hate it.... but I love it, y'know?

I love Witch Hunt, like I haven't even talked about Ariane and Finn, or how the circle just has all these books on Dalish artifacts and translations of elvhen, or how other eluvians can be found with a shard from the broken one in the dalish origin.... like you're telling me that Merrill had a piece of the puzzle? If she had the knowledge, she could've found a working eluvian to study?? I'm going to gnaw my own leg off--

Listen, I could gush about this all day.

But now that I've completely finished DAO, it's time to replay DA2.

[waitineedaname]

Yo, friendo What's the best way to consume these funny doomed men I keep seeing?

( Didn't mean it literality, but I can't help but think that the answer is with spice )

depends on which ones!! there are two series I've been posting about a lot, both by the same author: SVSSS and MDZS!

Scum Villain's Self-Saving System/SVSSS is a book series, and you can read it physically (which I did through my local library for the first two books) or online on the Internet Archive or Anna's Archive (which I did for the last two books when I got too impatient to wait on my holds). It also has a ten episode long donghua called Scumbag System that covers most of the first book and it's terrible (affectionate). You can find that one on youtube or most anime pirating sites. In short summary, SVSSS is about a terminally online dude getting isekai'd into the villain of a webnovel he absolutely hates, and in his attempt to avoid the villain's horrible death he sends the story completely off the rails. It's unhinged, hilarious, and everyone in the series is a complete freak <3 It's only four books long (three of which are the main plot and the fourth is extras)

MDZS/Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation is also a book series by the same author! Similarly, you can check your public library or the Internet Archive and Anna's Archive. It also has a donghua (which I haven't watched) and a wildly successful live action drama called The Untamed (which is how I initially got into the series!). The Untamed is available on Netflix and Youtube and probably other places. It does make some significant changes due to censorship reasons and it is extremely cheesy, but I enjoy it. If you want more classical tragedy, I'd say start with The Untamed, and if you want more gay necromancy shenanigans, I'd say start with the books! In short summary, it's about the life and death and second life of Wei Wuxian as he goes from war hero to widely reviled necromancer, and it's quite fun. The book series is five books long, and The Untamed is 50 episodes long. I have a character guide for that one if you need it because the names do get confusing!

[sschmendrick]

ok i've been meaning to send this ask all day but never caught the time. I see so much haikyuu on your blog lately! Tell me more! (funny thing is we are doing a rewatch at home too!) tell me your story and EVERYTHING you want. And also!!!! i can see you shipping hinata and kenma?

OK ok, strap yourself in because I cannot guarantee that this will make any sense. But I’ll do my best.

To be off to a great start, I do not remember how I got into Haikyuu. One day it wasn’t and the next it was. From pictures I have I can say that I was into Haikyuu in my last year of middle school (so 2015-2016). By then I already had mangas but I’m pretty sure I was first attracted to it by the anime so I’d already seen the first season (and maybe the second too) and I had started buying the mangas.

(I shall put a read more here cause this post is LONG, beware!!)

Pictured below is one of my productions during my mandatory stage de troisième. I was in a graphic design agency and I was shy so I’d eat real fast at lunch time and use the rest of the time drawing and my supervisor saw me one day and offered to give me an exercise around it that would make me both enjoy what I was doing and also understand more stuff about graphic design. He was awesome. He really went with all my little cringe interests and encouraged me. The exercise he gave me was to create a cover for Haikyuu. I had a lot of fun with the lettering, understanding the dimensions and everything. He then made me create a brand, understanding why brands are called what they are, making my own logo, and then I worked on one of their (maybe) projects.

(top is the cover I did, the second one is what I was working on when he gave me the assignment, last on is me being crazy and drawing yaoi in a room full of adults at 14 and them going good job, you wanna keep drawing ?)

Yes I already had a favourite character but it will become more apparent soon. I got really into volleyball because Haikyuu made it look so cool. I was never a sports guy so it was really hard to want to have fun while being so bad with endurance and athleticism. All I had to my name was my flexibility because of dancing for years. Once again I think I was very lucky with the people I met. My PE teacher was really nice and could have just let me skip the class but he didn’t. Wait no, this needs more context. I didn’t have many friends in middle school. I spent the first year with nobody. The second year someone approached me and more or less dragged me in the world of people and friends (once again, I met an amazing person that was just selflessly nice to me). She got me speaking to people and I met my friends through her. My best friend from elementary had abandoned me in a matter of days after we started middle school so I felt very awkward in all situations. Anyway, I had a few people I hung out with but that was about it. I wasn’t exactly the bestest of friends with them but they accepted me even if I was awkward and didn’t talk much. They all knew each other for a while and were much closer (and popular), so when PE would come around I didn’t have anyone to pair up with. SO, my teacher instead of turning a blind eye offered to help me with the volley practice (this was in quatrième (before last year of middle school) if I remember right ? but it must not have been before I learned about haikyuu). He took the time to make me practice everything and explain everything and honestly I think that helped a lot with my general technique cause otherwise there’s a lot I would not have understood or just learned wrong and would have to readjust when I got to high school.

Back to last year of middle school. My mind has been overtaken by Haikyuu cause it’s brilliant. I dabble in cosplay and I have no money I can use to buy an aliexpress one (yes the dreaded website but we would go there at the time haha) but I want to cosplay Haikyuu. Lucky me, I have found a group of cosplayer on Paris for the next Paris Manga that’s doing Haikyuu ! I was so pumped up. And they didn’t have my character but they did have his partner so we were all excited about it :) My parents were not very thrilled about it all because I was still just 14 and they were mostly adults but my mom still helped me make my own jersey! I still have it but I’m 100% sure it doesn’t fit anymore :’) Here is me starting to fall for the sport and the cosplay progress pictures I still have

(still so proud of it, I did everything by hand !! and last pic is me with a volley ball cause I was a little deranged already)

Yes I was Akaashi, I loved that character. Acting all polite but an overthinker much with a dash of mischievous and admiration for the people around him. Also nothing grand about him like so many of the characters, but he could still hold up with them. I think I have somewhere on my computer a picture of our group but first I don’t know where it is and second you can only see my face on it so I have no picture of my finished cosplay haha. The con was amazing, I had so much fun with these people, we started hanging out a little more often and going to all the anime cons around Paris as a group and we did more group cosplays. I loved it. However at this con I lost my phone and it was in February so when I needed my dad to come pick me up I had to wait for 45 minutes in short shorts and a thin jersey :’)

After that I kept enjoying Haikyuu as one does, and high school started. Oh high school, a lot happened there. First thing I did was being reborn ! And even though it wasn’t much and only social it helped me be a little more free already. Free enough to allow myself to pursue a certain sport I was looking forward to. Yeah I got the volleyball bug. I was so happy my high school had a volleyball “club” and the first day of it we were only two. It was me and another guy, even smaller than me, who had also loved Haikyuu but we didn’t talk much about it. He was just as fired up about it as I was and we really pushed each other to become better. I don’t know what he’s become now but I hope he kept playing volleyball.

Anyway we were off to a great start with…two players. But still our coach/PE teacher was kind enough to teach us. We managed to have a few more people to come now and then but it was rough the first year. In my three years (well two but that’ll come later) we never had 6 “full time” people in the club so any kind of competition, even to get completely massacred by the other teams, was out of the question sadly. We would play on a concrete court ! It was REALLY rough haha ! But these courts were situated in a sort of closed courtyard space that was surrounded by school buildings and on the top floor were the Prepa classes (preparatory classes to get in higher education schools like engineering private schools for anyone not French reading this). Unlike the rest of my classmates, they liked playing volleyball. They were soooo tall compared to us but they would play with us and teach us some stuff and they were really good compared to us. Thanks to them we got the actual practice we needed cause you can’t learn enough by just playing 3x3 or worse 2x2 with people who can barely keep the ball in play (I was one of these people, I get to trash talk past me).

In my first year of high school I was taking riding lessons at the military school since we wouldn’t be able to go to our family’s house village with the more apparent divorce and moving out and other difficulties. It was an experience and I don’t regret doing it but it wasn’t a great place. I stopped the next year. And then…then I have memory problems. I cannot remember if it was during my second or last year of high school that I did it, but I would say it was during my second year of high school, that I entered an outside volleyball club. It was a Sunday lesson, it was all adults and it was for beginners. We would mostly do matches but sometimes they would focus on serves or hitting (I only remember one lesson about it though lol). It was super cool, I got to play volleyball on the Wednesday with my school club, whenever at lunch break when the Prepa were playing, and the Sundays at my outside club. By then, I don’t think I was reading or watching much of Haikyuu. I think I might have gotten my adhd ass hooked on something else while waiting for the next season and I had fallen in love with volleyball for the playing not just Haikyuu by then. Also something that I’m working on (and I’ve noticed it has gotten better already) is that I have a hard time appreciating watching people do something I love (usually a sport) as much as I appreciate doing the sport. For example, I never enjoyed watching any horse jumping competition even though I love doing it. I think it might come from the fact that I am bad at the things I love and therefore cannot truly appreciate what’s going on. As of right now I watch volleyball matches and rallies and really enjoy it.

Last year of high school rolls around the corner and…our PE teacher/coach tells us that they are closing the club down cause we aren’t enough and she would rather not run from our practice to the badminton’s practice (that she also coaches) and only work with the badminton’s club. After all they had the regional and potential national champions there meanwhile we had no hope of ever participating in a competition. And I had learned at my last lesson at my outside club that since we weren’t enough coming to the practice they would close down their beginner lesson. It was a bit of a shock to go from two practice per week to none at all. I missed volleyball. I accepted to participate at the badminton’s practices (cause it’s also a sport I like but at leisure, not on a competitive level, and less than volleyball) but it was just to keep me doing something. What happened though is I got to choose which sports I wanted for my BAC (high school diploma) since I was in a club the year prior and I chose the one with volleyball and I aced that. I only resented the top players of our group a little cause it wasn’t their sport at all but since they were pretty athletic and good at sports in general they had no problem being good at it when it took me sooooo long :’) yes I am petty.

Then I don’t know what the heck happened. Well yes I know but I don’t know why when I arrived in Montreal in my school I didn’t try to get into the volleyball club. Anyway, I didn’t play for a whiiiiile, years ! And the only reason I did again was because my best friend’s parents ( @nyaoi-warrior ) invited me to play with them and their friends when I visited. I was bad at communicating when I was playing in France (I often forget to say “j’ai”) but this was in Czech Rep, and we couldn’t communicate in English. It was HARD but I had so much fun !! My team lost all of the sets but it was so cool :D

Recently I was looking for something in my old stuff in the basement of the building. I didn’t find it but what I did find were my old Haikyuu manga. And oh god the flame it awoken in me. So anyway here is me a few weeks later with a volley ball in my hands, I’ve found a place I can sneak in just for the end of the year and I’ve been looking at clubs I can enter (and hopefully get better and then do some competition).

Now more about Haikyuu. What an amazing sports manga/anime it is. Of course, with the protagonist being a spiker most people when they start volleyball because of Haikyuu want to spike. I was lucky enough to be in the tall half of my year in high school but now I am tiny compared to most volleyball players. And a thing I love in volleyball I quickly discovered is diving for the ball. I’d be running far back or on the side, sliding until my knees burn to keep that ball in play. I thank Haikyuu for giving each role a time in the spotlight in almost every game they play, cause with what we learned in my school club or outside club I would never have heard of the libero. Ofc when you play for leisure having a libero is a bit meh but now I know that if I ever want to play competitive this is the role I should gun for (or maybe setter but I’m still pretty small so idk).

I just finished watching the season 4 recently and I’m on my way to catch up, and then finish with the scans (and then buying the mangas too). I got spoiled about what happens at the nationals after season 4 and what happens after, the time skip etc but just in the grand lines and I’m fine with that. I don’t think that it takes away from it too much. And (IF YOU DON’T WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS AFTER/DURING TIME SKIP DON’T READ BUT ALSO WE WON’T HAVE A FULL TIME SKIP ANIMATED SO IF YOU’RE JUST WATCHING THE ANIME I’D SAY MIGHT AS WELL READ IT BUT ALSO IT’S EVERYWHERE SO YOU MIGHT KNOW IT ALREADY) I freaking love Hinata in Brazil. It’s very funny to me too cause here is this little dude who got me into volleyball, with whom I had an anime-level betrayal and tragedy with my clubs, and now I’m learning Portuguese because of my Brazilian friends and I wanna go to Brazil and HE WENT TOO ?? That was hilarious to me. Maybe I should look into beach volleyball hehehe.

About the ships; I started with the “basic” ones, the most obvious ones that come from the strong bonds and non-stop interactions and how they are shown as more or less pairs by the manga/anime (so kagehina, asanoya, daisuga, bokuaka, etc etc etc) but I am a multi shipper now. I don’t know I have a much more relaxed approach to shipping now, especially for big casts where there isn’t clear cut villains, same with one piece. They all have great relationships with everyone around them and I like many of them. And yeah I stumbled upon kenhina recently and I really like their dynamic. I love kagehina just as much, and also the hilarious way Hinata seems to fascinate all setters. I have seen some really funny tsukkihina fanarts too. I’ve put a lot of stuff in my queue so you got some yakunoya coming soon as well haha. Also from what I’ve heard (haven’t got to see it yet) (yes the premiere was Sunday and it’s only out today) that the movie has big kenhina energy so I’m here for it.

This little red-head guy just makes me so happy. I’m so glad I got to discover one of, if not my favourite sport out there (and that says a lot coming from a horsegirl) and I want to keep it in my life. I’m asking around for clubs and selections and I hope I am accepted. And I’ll be celebrating my birthday watching Olympic volleyball matches :D

OH ! Another thing. During my intensive studying period for my current school’s diploma, I was with friends and before we started studying each morning we would put on music or some kind of stuff, and we put anime opening blind tests and one of them had the first Haikyuu opening (which is still my favourite cause yk…it’s the one that started it all) and I was hit with a wall of memories…yeah :’)

I think that’s all I might have forgotten a few things, I don’t know at this point.

I can’t believe you got me writing more about volleyball, in English, in 2 hrs than I’ve written for my THESIS in a WEEK. This is 5 word pages WITHOUT THE PICTURES.

[thedreadvampy]

sorry I'm on one now. Narnia is one of my Big Rant triggers.

but like. I would be lying if I said I didn't love Narnia

(everything except the Horse and His Boy, which a) even as a tiny kid made me uncomfortable with how fucking racist it is (literally there is ONE. ONE. character of colour who isn't evil, selfish, greedy and violent. even when you're 5 and white and don't really understand racism it's like. sorry there are just no nice people in this whole country? and every Narnian is lovely?) and b) is just fucking DULL partly bc of the 2 dimensional racist caricatures populating the world)

but I can't pretend for a second that it isn't specifically built around a Christian theology that's explicitly racist, hierarchical, supremacist, colonialist and The Bits I Like Least Of Anglicanism

and my FAVOURITE books in the series (except the Silver Chair which tbh is WAY less theological and way more mythology-nerd) are the first and last, which are by far the most explicitly Christian. even more so than TLTWATW.

and I can just about stand by the Magician's Nephew bc it's mostly just a mix of Christian creation myth and CS Lewis's sci fi interests in the esoteric and multiverses and it honestly feels fine. but my all time favourite most iconic Narnia book is The Last Battle and I just. cannot. justify it for a second from a political or philosophical standpoint.

it's got it all bc it's the book where Lewis is like ok hold up let me lay out explicitly what my theology is. and what he thinks it's important to say is:

Almost all Muslims are bad and evil

They worship Satan by doing Bad Evil Deeds to please him

There are a couple of Good Muslims who do good deeds. they need to be brought to the light, understand that the voice calling them to do good deeds is the Christian god, and they too can achieve the kingdom of heaven

Some people will use Christianity as a mask for exploitation and mistreatment. They are bad and their faith is false (ok fine)

...and they're doing that because they're CONSPIRING WITH THE EVIL MUSLIMS TO OPPRESS GOOD CHRISTIANS

...and THAT'S THE ONLY REASON ANYONE WOULD TELL YOU THAT GOD AND ALLAH ARE DIFFERENT NAMES FOR THE SAME GOD. because they're either conning you or because they've been misled and can't really think for themselves.

DID I MENTION. THAT MUSLIMS ARE EVIL AND TRYING TO BRING DOWN CHRISTIANS.

and other than the GOD AREN'T MUSLIMS JUST THE WORST of it all, he also goes back over to more fully explain several points he's made throughout the series, such as:

white Christian public school kids are the god ordained leaders of the world and attempts to think otherwise are heretical

god places people where they need to be to serve his purpose

free will is largely an illusion - your only choice is faith or chaos, and as a godly person your actions are preordained

the problem is though. he's kind of a really good character writer? and in The Last Battle he pulls out most of his best classics (hi Reepicheep! hi Frank! hi Jill!) and gives us a whole wealth of really fun new characters (Tirian and Jewel, Emeth, Puzzle, Shift, Griffle and Ginger are all just SO FUN) and it's such a solid adventure. for me it's hands down the most FUN Narnia to read and an effective and affecting end to the series.

but like. god its unjustifiably fucked philosophy is baked into every single character and event. it's so hard to ignore. it's my favourite book in the series. it's the book that makes me angriest. it's everything right with Narnia and everything wrong with Narnia. I like it cause it asks me to engage critically with Lewis' philosophy and I hate it cause it requires me to engage critically with Lewis' philosophy.

in conclusion, Narnia is a land of contrasts. also occasionally brownface.

[makiswirl]

ok sorry if this is a silly question but I'm always curious about how post canon edling works? like what is their situation.

did the edwin proposal just never happen or are they exes? are the edwin kids a thing?

does ed live in xing at some point or does he just travel around and sporadically visit ling whenever he can? I think repeatedly traveling through the desert could be painful with automail so maybe only once a year or every couple years?

idk, let me know ur thoughts!! :)

OKAY SO I OBVIOUSLY CANNOT SPEAK FOR LIKE ANYONE ELSE WHO'S INTO THEM but i do have a specific canon for them (exiled) (and like... i don't like the writing of the fics anymore... but my main interpretation still centers around it and follows the same beats so surely that means something right)

ANYWAYS HERE'S THE GIST/RUNDOWN OF I HOW I KIND OF SORT OF MADE THEM WORK:

--

(going to use parts of my personal doc for my ed blog (@alchemsol) that i use to keep track of stuff i've written that's canon for him just for convenience's sake)

so the general gist of the beginning of exiled is that after around four years of rehabilitation and one travelling in the west (what we see him doing at the end of canon, diverging without the edwin subplot since i prefer them being written in a more familial way like the start of canon did), ed travels to xing to visit everybody again along with his brother since he's working as an amestrian ambassador for xing now and living in the palace and learning alkahestry with mei, along with figuring out how to get jerso and zampano's bodies back ^_^

somewhere around this time ed and ling get together

during the span of about a month or two after the main plot ends, ed stays with ling in the palace and essentially accompanies him for a while as his s/o (unbeknownst to the main public). a while after he's called to border city milos to help solve a dispute with an alchemist

it is important to note that ling, despite this having been his entire goal and wanting to help his people and help reform xing, really fucking hates his job more than he thought he would since he's spent his whole life as a free spirit lol. more of ling's character arc involving naïveté it is!

so what ling does is he essentially knows that he can't really help xing much more than he already has in his position, and in a very strong sense of burnout and a horribly poor mental state that can really only hurt his people more than it would serve them, he and lan fan decide to desert, he fakes his death, and they both leave for and arrive in resembool while ed and al are still away in creta.

with mei having already been named his heir at this point in case anything were to happen to him and without any children due to the sudden elimination of the concubine system and lack of a love interest PRIOR to ed, she agrees to assume the throne and do what she had originally intended to do before ling had won the philosopher's stone and mostly continues out ling's work

"bluebirds" (the last exiled fic) essentially centers around ed and ling adjusting to resembool life (especially ling because of how goddamn high-stakes his life has been up to this point) after ed and al return from milos, and also introduces winry and pinako to the series. al leaves to return to xing after it concludes

the tl;dr by this point is that lan fan and ling are now in resembool, and while winfan ALSO begins forming in the background of the story, ling and ed adjust to the whole situation of ling, a whole-ass emperor, having faked his death and randomly having showed up AT THE ROCKBELLS' (and ed's in a more non-literal sense) DOORSTEP, which ed is Very ":/" about bc they didn't talk about this and it could be dangerous as fuck but when are they not known for being ballsy!!!

the other titles listed happen after "bluebirds" and exiled conclude, but are still in the same canon. coulomb arc is a personal project with a writing partner (my boyf) that veers off into this non-canon au ficlet, terrible day for rain and names to call you by are ficlets that i've posted and deleted in the past that introduce nella and leroy who ed and ling end up adopting (along with ollie who they had also adopted shortly after the events of under the apple tree), and the other ed/ling fankids i've mentioned (jingyi, delilah, chao) happen sometime after matryoshka and end up as their biological children

golden years is obviously the end of all that but it isn't really important since it's an unnecessary ficlet i just wanted to write ages ago lmao

--

TL;DR: my interpretation is probably really far from what most people would consider in-character or most likely to happen after canon especially since it just ditches parts of the epilogue entirely as a result of it being a love letter to myself and what i like and not really much else because i just felt really silly goofy after consuming fullmetal alchemist content for the first time

however ^_^ ! it's basically just ed and ling living wild in their early 20s and then settling down and basically turning into domestic gay middle-aged men with 9 million kids because i think they deserve better than constant drama for once in their life lolz. i simply think it's good and soft for them to be normal especially given ling especially didn't get a taste of it at all when ed at least got a small sippy

ed ofc still travels from time-to-time because that's just the kind of guy that he is (usually bringing ling along with him to show him amestris), and he typically avoids doing it entirely unless he has a like. VERY important trip where he won't be gone for long after they have children mostly in fear of accidentally becoming like his father even though he's mostly forgiven him and absolutely doesn't hate him at all by now since he knows better than what he used to and why things ended up the way they did. it's just the matter of them getting used to living like actual normal and happy grown people, even with some bumps along the way, and they finally get to heal from everything that happened to them when they were younger together

tl;dr x2: i think they should heal and be shitty little country boys and make out maybe

[rubberbandballqueen]

every time i compose long strings of text in chinese, i feel the soul of my mother creeping up over my shoulder, telling me to speak more fancily

[hecatesbroom]

👀 Will you write more Grace and Frankie stuff?

I've got one Grace character study in the making right now (which I'm in the process of rewriting, because s7 revealed some new details about her that conflict with what I'd written up to that point 😂) and I'm hoping I'll have enough motivation to finish another little character study on top of the one I'm working on right now! :)

That being said I do most of my writing when I can't sleep, but I've been sleeping very well lately so it's a bit slow going haha

[soyoursoulisgreen]

3, 4, 19, 20!

3. What ideas come from when you were little

I have two OCs that have really stood the test of time: Akane and Kin - though their names have changed over time haha ♪ They were the first ever queer couple I made, long long loooong before I was out even to myself and shock among shocks, they're angels lol ♥ I remember I even wrote a short story about them from like - middle school probably?? as part of an assignment haha. They've been with me for a loooong time, and I'm still very fond of them 💕

4. Fav character/subject that's a bitch to draw

GLaDOS is so beautiful and I am so bad at drawing machine parts jfdklsasdf. I'm determined to draw her from both games now tho! Her design in Portal 1 is so weird!! <3

19. Favorite inanimate objects to draw (food, nature, etc.)

Plushies, no contest. Drawings the seams and darts and stitches and wear and fluff and fabric vs. fur I just ugh it's all so satisfying! The way the cloth folds over itself or stands firm on its own over well-stuffed filling! I love plushies!! Funny enough, I rarely use them as props tho haha - that's usually things like books, cups, pencils, etc.

20. Something everyone else finds hard to draw but you enjoy

I haven't heard the complaint in earnest in a while, just in a jokey fashion, but I really really enjoy drawing hands :) Hand expressions are so fun to me! They're just as expressive as faces - especially masked characters haha - and they're so versatile! Come in so many shapes, some hard, some rubberhose wiggly, some sharp and Shaped, but they still all emote similarly. Even just slight position changing can change the temperature of how it reads! It's a challenge for sure but it's just so satisfying >:3c

[bananami]

A little couple's trivia with Nanami proves that he knows you all too well.

I did use the term wife and she/her pronouns just as a brief cw. The whole thing is just fluff. Nanami is in love with you. That's the whole things.

(I am delulu and in love with this man. Hope this helps us all heal. He is alive and well and no one can convince me otherwise. Also I love including Gojo's dumbass in everything. Also Yuji is a sweetheart and Nanami's son basically.)

"Please?" You're practically begging your husband, who doesn't seem to be budging.

"No."

"Why not?"

"Yeah Nanamin-"

"Don't call me that." Nanami cuts Gojo off immediately.

"But Yuji calls you that!"

"That's different." He glares at the white haired man like he's trying to eviscerate him with just his eyes. "And I'm not playing some stupid game just to prove how well I know my wife." He tries to pay attention to the paperwork in front of him again, wanting to finish it before 5pm. Because there was no way he was working overtime again today.

"Scared?" Gojo baited him. "Afraid I'm gonna ask you a question that's just too hard?"

"Gojo, there is nothing you could ask me about my wife that I wouldn't be able to answer."

A few of the students sat around watching the two go back and forth, inevitably waiting for Nanami to either get so annoyed that he walked away, or to take the bait. They hoped for the latter.

"Prove it! Or you forfeit your marriage."

"That's not how that works."

"C'mon Nanamin, it's just a game." Yuji gives the blonde sorcerer a sincere smile, hoping to lighten the mood and sway his decision just a bit.

"Don't call him Nanamin, Yuji- OW." Gojo is cut off as Nanami reaches over and smacks him in the head with the papers in his hand.

"Don't tell him what to do." Nanami sighs and rubs at his temple. He looks at the clock, then at you. It's the look in your eyes that gives way to his final decision. "Fine. You have until that clock reads 5, and then I'm taking my wife and we're going home."

Gojo wastes no time. "Who is your wife's favorite person? And think before you say yourself because-"

"Itadori. Next question."

"I'm your favorite person?!" Yuji jumps from his seat, latching his arms around you for a hug. It's obvious from the way that you smile and hug him back that Nanami is probably definitely right. You had a soft spot for the kid since you met him, playfully telling everyone that you and Nanami had basically adopted him since he arrived at Jujutsu High. Nanami would probably never verbalize it, but you could tell he felt the same about the boy.

"Ok, ok. Next question." Gojo thought hard before coming up with it. "How does your wife take her coffee?"

"She doesn't drink coffee."

"Yes she does, I bring her some like every morning."

"And she gives that coffee to me because she doesn't like it."

"You're telling me I've been buying you coffee this entire time?"

"I make her tea every morning when we get to work. You hand her the coffee, we trade cups. I don't understand how you've stared right at us when we do it and you somehow haven't noticed."

"Ok, then what tea does she drink?"

"Earl Grey, three sugars, a little bit of milk at the top. She'll say she's ok with English Breakfast or Lady Earl Grey if they're out of the regular. She's not, she's just being polite. She'll drink half and throw it away when she thinks no one is looking."

Gojo groans, not having as much fun as he thought he was going to at the beginning of all of this. "And I just bet you have a contingency plan for when your wife doesn't get her tea, don't you?"

"Of course I do," he ignores the even louder groan from Gojo, "I walk across the street to the cafe that sells her favorite pastries and I buy her five because I know that she'll want to share with her students and she'll try to split one with me even if I refuse. They have teabags they leave out so long as you're ordering something. Earl Grey, always in stock."

"Adorable." Gojo rolls his eyes.

"You're so smart, Nanamin!" Yuji jumps in. "Let me ask one! What's her favorite color?"

"Yuji, that's too easy."

"Yellow."

"Ohhhh, mine too," Yuji says, "why yellow?"

"Because it's-" Nanami stops mid-sentence and looks at the clock, like it will give him an excuse. Almost. "We don't need to worry about the why, that wasn't the original question."

Gojo perks up, clearly realizing he'd struck a nerve. And he was ready to work it. The red dusting across Nanami's cheeks told him everything he needed to know. "Are you embarrassed, Nanami?"

"Shut up, Gojo."

"Or do you just not know the answer? It's ok if you don't, I guess you just don't know your wife as well as you thought you did."

"If you don't stop talking, I'm going to tell everyone about the one time in high school when you and Geto got caught in the-"

"OK!" Gojo turns back to the students and motions them toward the door. "Time to go! Don't you all have something better to do? Go be little trouble makers somewhere. Go TP Yaga's lawn or something. Get out of here."

He'd ushered everyone out except Yuji, who stayed behind to wait for you and Nanami. The boy shyly looked away as you kissed Nanami's cheek before standing up, stating you just needed to grab your bag before you could leave.

Yuji waited for you to exit the room before he asked. "Is it because of your hair?"

Nanami sighs. "What makes you think that?"

Yuji just shrugs. "She loves you. Answers don't always need a complex reason."

Nanami can't help the smile that graces his face. "You're a smart kid sometimes, you know that?"

"That's why I'm her favorite!" His goofy nature is back in an instant. "Can I come over for dinner again tonight?"

"Of course you can."

"Can I stay over?"

"If you'd like to."

"Can I pick the movie we watch?"

"Don't push your luck."

[felassan]

John Epler in the BioWare Discord (August 7th) -

John: "You can disable/enable helmets for cutscenes or at all times." --- User: "Will we be able to collect codex entries again?" John: "Absolutely. Codex entries are part of the series' DNA - plus, they're really fun to write." --- User: "Are there long curly hair options?" John: "There are!" --- User: "Are sub-classes locked to the faction you’re in?" John: "No. They're themed towards factions, but you can choose a specialization from a separate faction than your own." --- User: "Will subtitles from companions be on screen with their icons lit up like in Inquisition?" John: "Subtitles will appear center-screen and have the speaker name attached. So you'll see who's saying what." --- User: "Regarding the cutscenes findable in the game, will a gallery be available for re-watch?" John: "Not at present, no. Since our cutscenes are (almost all) real-time in-engine, this would be nearly impossible with our tech."

[character limit text break!]

User: "What are the chances for a third World of Thedas volume after The Veilguard's release?" John: "I can't comment on specific plans, but World of Thedas is close to my heart and I'd love to do more in general with our ancillary books and products, once we're able to come up for air from the game." --- User: "Can we edit our race during character creator freely or are we locked in by choosing race first like in inquisition?" John: "Lineage informs a number of options after that choice - you can always go back in CC and change it, but it's the first decision you will make and changing it will reset the following decisions." --- User: "I did have a follow-up on lineage - do the other lineages/races also have background choices the way elves do with city/dalish? CAN we play a qunari raised within the Qun?" John: "So a couple of things, just to be super clear on this. There is no 'city elf/dalish elf' switch (for example) that you can pick in character creator. Each lineage can be each faction, though, and that will provide a baseline for your character you can further refine through role playing. For Elves, as an example - Veil Jumper elves tend to be more 'Dalish' to reflect that background, while Shadow Dragon elves tend to have a background that reflects being an Elf in Minrathous. Other factions have their own nuance. Importantly, those things tend to be more focused on how you relate to that faction, while leaving more general 'Elf' topics as something you have more freedom with. Or, TLDR - while choices at CC define some baselines around your character, we like to give you the opportunity to build your character's background and beliefs through in-game RP. Hopefully all that makes sense." User: "That does, and is right in line with what Corinne said during the Q&A! I was asking whether we would see the same background variety in the non-elven lineages." John: "Yes! Sorry, that's what I was trying to answer - there will be plenty of opportunities to RP who you are/were as the other lineages as well."

[character limit text break!]

User: "are there companions gifts again" John: "Isn't the gift of your presence enough? More seriously, though - you very well might find things in the world that certain companions would appreciate!" --- John: "Rook is generally assumed to be anywhere from late 20s to late 40s, but ultimately we don't give Rook a specific age. You can RP them to be however old you want." --- User: "will conversations be zoomed in like a cutscene type or zoomed out like in DAI?" John: "While we do have some 'lighter' conversations for specific types of content, they use a more traditional over-the-shoulder cinematic camera. I created the simple conversation system in DAI and while it did what we needed it to do, we heard the feedback on the camera loud and clear." --- User: "The darkspawn look fairly different in veilguard. Is ot a simple redisgn like the demons or is it due to them being enhanced by red lyrium?" John: "I'm not going to tell you WHAT it is that's making them look different, since that's a spoiler, but it's more than just a visual redesign." --- John: "Need and inspiration, mostly. We can't bring in every single animal out there, especially since we want the ones we DO put in the game to be at the right level of quality. So we pick the ones that we know make sense in the spaces we're building, and also it's based on what the team wants to do. If someone is incredibly passionate about bringing in a specific creature, it's something we want to give opportunities to pursue wherever possible. As to the general ecology of Thedas - there are absolutely similarities, but it's not 1:1. A world where megafauna still exist as apex predators (dragons) is going to have some pretty significant impact on what else exists." --- User: "does the lighthouse have a kitchen, can we eat and drink? what sort interactables are there at the home base" John: "Not going to get into specifics on interactables, but there is more to do in the Lighthouse than conversations with companions. The Lighthouse does have a kitchen, and your companions acknowledge it/use it both narratively and ambiently. Some maybe better than others." John: "A little more expansion on this - we want the Lighthouse to feel like a 'real space' as much as possible. That means making it a space that makes sense and, eventually, feels like home to you and your team. It also means spending a little extra time on how the companions (and Rook) use and exist in the space. At this point we've made a LOT of personal hub spaces in DA and ME, and we've learned a lot from doing so." --- John: "It wouldn't be a DA game if we didn't have some returning characters. We've shown some of the more obvious ones, and hinted at others, but we want to keep some surprises for launch."

[source: the official BioWare Discord]

[ddiidi]

bf!Bangchan x gn!reader (ot8 mentioned)

Masterlist

When he calls you clingy, so you distance yourself

Previous Pt. 1

Pt. 2

Next Pt. 3

!Warnings: angst, swearing, fun at the end bc reader needs fun in life (lmk if i missed anything)

Important!Side-Note!: Should I do a happy ending for them?

It has been 3 days since that incident. 3 days and still not a single message from Chan, not even an apology for yelling at you, nothing. You've been texting him every now and then, to ask if he's okay, eats and sleeps. He never replied to any of them, nor has he seen them, so you spend most of the time packing your stuff and working from home. You were glad you had a job you also could work from home for. Every now and then, you went over to the building, to check a few things, walking extra detours, to make sure, you won't bump into Chan.

A few of the other members texted you the past days, asking if everything is okay and why the haven't seen you around for a while, to which you just replied with "Busy with work and private stuff, dww:)". It made you happy they actually care that much about you, just because they haven't seen you in a few days, but also anxious and sad, since they care, but chan hasn't even shown any intress in you the past days. You weren't even able to tell him that you're moving.

More days pass, and a few days, turn into a week of no textes from Chan. At this point, you wondered if he even knew that you still exist.

So here you were, in your old apartment, stuffed with boxes, not being able to get your mind off chan and his well-being, even though, you're still deeply hurt from what he said, you couldn't just not not care about him....He pointed out two of your insecurities, just like that as if it was nothing and he doesn't even care...not about you not your feelings.

You let out a deep sigh. You should be getting ready for a day with your friends. Not think about some man, who happened to be the love of your life, who calls you his partner, but doesn't even know how to cherish you.

You let out another, heavy, sigh as you drop to the floor to put on your shoes, Let's just focus on having a great time today, you thought to yourself and left the apartment.

Well, maybe it was not the best decision to go out today...

Chan for his part, had to listen to a lectur from Felix, after you ran out, crying. "Chris..you really shouldn't have said all that to her. I understand that you were annoyed or whatever, but that was no reason to yell at her" "Really now? They were just being a fucking, clingy and annoying crybaby that couldn't take no for an answer, for whatever reason." chan sighed out, at the younger member. "That crybaby...was really uncalled for chris. They're your partner, not some random person on the street you can yell at. I wouldn't wonder if they took that "Leave me alone" to heart and actually leave you after that action." "But I-" chan starts, "I'm just saying chris. You better fix this before it's too late. After what you pulled, partners are faster gone than you could blink" with that, Felix leaves the room, leaving Chan alone, again.

Since that talk, Chan locked himself in his studio, thinking about the best way to apologize for what he said. But he couldn't find one. No matter how long he thought, days, a whole week, there was nothing but regret. He just had to apologize in person and beg for forgivness, hoping that you'd actually forgive him.

So there he was, with a giant bouquet of flowers, fresh clothes and hope.

He had the code to your apartment, so he opened the door, ready to be greeted by the warm, wide open hallway, but was greeted with the cold gray of bunch of boxes instead and the first thing he felt, was panic."Y/n? Y/n are you there?" he yelled, as he ran through your whole apartment, but as he saw that even all your date polaroid pictures where gone, he couldn't help but panic even more.

He let's the flowers fall on the floor, running to your room and nearly collapsed when he found..nothing. Where were you? Did you actually go? Did you actually leave him? All these questions consumed his head and that's when he broke, crying to the point he couldn't breath. He took out his phone and called the first number he saw in his recent calls. It peeped a few times, before someone took the call.

"Hey Chris everything alr-" "They're gone! Felix they're gone, they're not here i don't know what to do! I've never meant it I was just-" chan cried and gasped out at felix on the other line. "Woah there calm down, try to breath I don't understand a word. Relax, I'll be there okay? You know there is an explination for everything, that's what you always say, so try to relax it's okay" Felix tried to soothen the older man, while grabbing his keys and running out to his car. Chan didn't reply anything to that and continued soobing.

I have your location, I'll be there in 5." that's the last thing chan heared from felix, before he collapsed on the floor in your apartment.

And you? You were drinking coffee with your friends, while your bestie told you guys a story how she saw a horse that nearly drowned.

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾✧༺🖤༻✧✧༺🖤༻✧✧༺🖤༻✧☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

@finnbbl @wolfs-howling

[avatar-anna]

Moments caught between Harry and Y/n on camera at the Brits

just something fun because harry at the brits was a mess but we love him for it!

Young Dad! Harry Styles x Young Mom! Reader Masterlist

The red carpet is loud and raucous, bright lights flashing as people shout for the attention of celebrities. One couple in particular is the center of attention the second they step on the carpet.

Harry Styles and a woman walk arm-in-arm, a broad grin on his face and a shy smile on hers. Harry seems to be whispering something in the woman's ear, his nose pressed against the crown of her head. It makes her visibly relax, her grin widening and becoming more authentic as they take a couple more steps.

The woman is the recently revealed Y/n Styles, Harry Styles' long-time partner that he'd somehow kept from the rest of the world for over a decade. But she was here tonight, just as she had been at the Grammys a couple weeks ago, and the cameras now track their every move, intrigued by this new-ish couple.

"Harry! Harry! Harry, over here!"

"Y/n!"

"Harry, did you really marry Y/n when you were in One Direction?"

"Y/n, how does it feel to be with the most famous man in music?"

Y/n, who's hard to miss in a red dress that fits like a glove, shrinks almost imperceptibly against Harry's side. Harry looks down at her, and the husband and wife share a look as if they're having an unspoken conversation.

Then he mutters something to her, and Y/n laughs as Harry kisses her cheek, but not before nudging his nose against it. The shouts double, so used to Harry's stoic approach to being out in the public eye, but both of them move steadily down the carpet, not paying the paparazzi and reporters any mind.

*.*

During their walk down the red carpet, Harry and Y/n come across a barricaded section for fans of the artists in attendance. They all cheer as each celebrity walks by, shouting compliments and proclamations of love for their favorite.

Y/n once again hesitates on Harry's arm, wary eyes darting toward the boisterous fans. At the same time, Harry is called to by a reporter asking for an interview. Checking in with his wife, he departs with a kiss to her forehead, murmuring words the cameras can't quite pick up.

Y/n stands on her own, one arm crossed over her stomach as she tries to stay standing tall. Fans call out to her from the barricade in a way that's difficult to ignore. She waves at them with a small smile, but it's clear they want her to come closer.

With one glance at her husband, who's still speaking with the reporter, and another to a security guard close by, she nods to the latter and they step closer to the barricade, just close enough in proximity that she can actually make out distinct voices and words.

"Y/n we love you!"

"Where did you meet Harry?"

"How long have you been together?"

"Ugh, you are so mother in that dress!"

"What's your skincare routine?"

"What's Harry's?"

The tense set of her shoulders eases a bit, no longer apprehensive of the fans and their potential to be cruel.

"I feel like I met him a lifetime ago," she says. "And I just cleanse, moisturize, and use SPF."

"How come we've never seen you at shows?"

"What's your favorite Harry song?"

"Are you friends with One Direction?"

"Where were you last year when Harry got wasted?"

Y/n chuckles at the last question, her eyes lighting up as her hand covers her mouth. "I've always had a soft spot for 'Ever Since New York.'"

"Taste!" a fan yells, decibels louder above the rest, which garners laughter from everyone.

"Can you make Harry release 'Medicine?'" another asks.

Before Y/n answers, Harry appears by her side, an arm snaking around her waist. "There you are. Got sidetracked by your own interview, did you?"

"They were just asking if I'd help them in their quest for a studio version of 'Medicine.' I'm not sure if I can, though. They don't know how stubborn you are."

A chorus of boos went up at Y/n's answer, but not at her. Harry raised his eyebrows at his wife as if in challenge, but her responding gaze is quite mischievous.

Taking everyone, including Y/n, by surprise, he leans in to kiss her cheek, saying, "Have I told you how beautiful you look tonight, darling?"

A chorus of aww's ring through the small crowd of fans as Harry places his hand on Y/n's lower back, ushering her away from the barricade. Y/n raises an eyebrow at her husband, who is conveniently not meeting her eye. "Nice save."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"You never call me darling."

Harry lets out a snort. "Lies. Lies on the red carpet tonight."

Y/n rolls her eyes but leans in close to her husband, carefully avoiding the fabric flower around his neck. "Mhmm. Let's go, darling."

*.*

An artist is being interviewed inside the O2, and Harry and Y/n are videotaped in the background.

In the very corner, the couple are leaning in close and talking, a drink in each one of their hands. Harry talks animatedly, gesturing with his drink to the point where it nearly spills on Y/n's dress. Y/n doesn't seem to mind and just throws back her head as she laughs. His eyes light up as he watches her, a word that could only be described as love encompassing his face.

*.*

During one of the performances, a camera pans to Harry's table. The house lights are dim, but he's still visible amongst the flashes of color from the stage. Harry sits in his chair, body slumped a little low so he can rest his head on Y/n's shoulder.

Both of their attention is on the performer onstage, not noticing as a few cameras are pointed in their direction as Y/n scratches the back of Harry's neck absentmindedly. He leans into her touch, looking up occasionally to say something to his wife.

*.*

"And the winner is...Harry Styles!"

Cheers erupted throughout the room, the table Harry is at standing up. Harry himself stays seated and curls in on himself, pumping his arms victoriously as he beams. His eyes are a little glassy, his hair unkempt, a sign that the night has progressed with lots of alcohol consumption.

He turns to his sister Gemma first as he stands up, high-fiving her before giving her a hug and fist-bumping someone else. Then he turns to Y/n, who hasn't stopped clapping since his name had been read for the third time from the envelope.

She opens her arms as if to accept a hug, but Harry has other plans. He leans forward and kisses her in a way that's merely pressing his smile against hers until they mold their mouths into a kiss. Then he kisses her cheek repeatedly, making her shoulders bunch as she smiles brightly.

When Harry finally pulls away, Y/n's cheeks are flushed as she tries to wipe at her husband's face with her thumb. With one last kiss, he heads up to the stage to accept his award.

*.*

Another performance, only this time, everyone is on their feet, including Harry and Y/n.

Harry's arms are wrapped around Y/n's shoulders from behind, his chin on her shoulder. Both of them sway from side to side to the rhythm of the song as Harry mouthed the words in Y/n's ear.

Her grin is wide as her eyes stay trained on the performance. Then, she looks back at Harry, who met her gaze as she says something.

Nodding, he kisses her once on the cheek before nodding back to the stage.

*.*

As Kid speaks into the microphone onstage saying his thank yous, Harry is having the time of his life behind his friend as he speaks to Stanley Tucci.

By now it's a little obvious he's had more than a couple drinks. His hair is nothing short of a mess, his dress shirt is a little more unbuttoned than it had been to begin with, and he throws his head back and laughs in a way that is fueled by drunken delight.

Briefly, the camera turns to Harry's wife, who stands beside Gemma. Y/n's hands hold her face as she watches her husband be ushered offstage by the people around him. She giggles a little before leaning over to Gemma and shaking her head. Gemma laughs along with her, covering her mouth as she says something to the woman beside her.

The camera flashes back to Harry, who turns around one last time so he can blow a kiss to the crowd, more specifically, Y/n, who the camera catches covering her face in her hands, cheeks as red as her dress.

*.*

Paparazzi shout at their latest persons of interest as they make the brief walk from the car to the entrance of a club where the after party for the Brits is being held.

Harry's arms are tightly wrapped around Y/n's waist, face set as he ignores the crowd of people shouting for his attention. Y/n, turned slightly inward towards Harry's chest, keeps pace beside him. Most of her body is covered by what can only be her husband's suit jacket, but with the open front, a hint of a sparkly pink dress can be seen, a drastic change from her award show attire.

The only time they separate is when Harry allows Y/n entrance into the club first before following close behind, his hand once again protectively hovering over the small of her back.

*.*

Photos are strictly forbidden inside of the club, so it isn't until the couple emerges from the doors once again that they're spotted.

Neither of them stumble, though paparazzi wouldn't have cared if they were. All eyes are on Harry's disheveled hair, the heels dangling from his fingers, the suit jacket draped over the arm not around his wife. They're on Y/n, whose dress is completely on display, the beading that covers its entirety flashing with every snap of the camera's shutter.

Then the collar of Harry's silk dress shirt shifted, revealing a harsh purple bruise that hadn't been there before. Neither Harry nor Y/n seem to notice, or understand why the cacophony of shouts became louder, they just continue on, Y/n's hand on the nape of her husband's neck idly scratching until he helps her into the car.

Following suit, Harry climbs inside. For a brief moment, Harry sticks his head out the open window of the car and winks and sticks his tongue out at all the photographers. Y/n appears from her side of the car, leaning across her husband to bring the window up. Not an ounce of care in the world, he leans forward to kiss his wife's exposed jaw. With an exasperated expression on her face and a delicate wave of her fingers, the window goes up, and though the windows are tinted, a hand is visible against the glass as the car peeled away from the curb.

[soaps-mohawk]

I'm going to be honest

I'm having a genuinely hard time making this post. I've been fighting with it for a couple weeks now, but I think it's time I finally make it.

I'm not having fun on this blog anymore.

It sounds bad, but honestly, it kind of is.

I think a lot of it started from the very beginning with the precedence and expectations I put on myself. I've always tried to respond to every comment I get. Even from the beginning. It's just a polite thing to do since those who leave comments took the time to write out what they think of my fic, even if it's just a keysmash. I've always felt the need to thank those who leave comments or reblog my writing or (now that tumblr has it) replied to my fics. It worked fine before because none of my fics were particularly popular. Even my most popular fic (at that time) didn't get as much attention as CRCB has. I've never had a "big blog" before, nor a fic as popular as CRCB has gotten.

It was fine at first, responding to everyone, engaging with everyone. I was riding that high of omg so many people are reading and enjoying my fic! I've never had anything quite like this before.

Now...it just feels more like a chore. I set this precedence on this blog that I respond to everyone and I know a lot of people have said that they're surprised I responded to them and to everyone, and now I'm getting why a lot of writers don't. I'm exhausted. I feel like I've just been robotically saying the same thing over and over trying to respond to people now. I used to love seeing asks in my inbox and reblogs and replies but now? All I feel is dread because I have to respond to all of those.

Turning anon off was a big help. It lessened the sheer volume of asks I was getting a day. And while I do feel bad for all of my anons who prefer to stay anons, with everything that happened (the multiple incidents) with anon that kind of started to suck the joy out of everything. That paired with the obsessive need to constantly have my inbox cleared and make sure everyone gets a response...I can understand now too why big blogs will have 200+ asks in their inbox. It's hard and it's exhausting and I'm burning out.

First it was the fic that was burning me out. Things have gone on far longer than I planned and I just wasn't prepared for this fic to go on and for a while there it was dragging. I'll admit that. If I could go back, I'd speed up a few things, but it's done, it's posted there's no going back. I kind of hoped I would have the mental capacity to upload more than once a week too, but I just couldn't. I still can't.

I've come to dread posting chapters because I know I'm going to have to reply and respond to everyone. The only thing keeping me posting is the fact that we're in the part of the story I've been excited about since the beginning and also because I keep leaving everyone on cliffhangers and I love torturing y'all with all of them.

So that being said, this is in no way to shame anyone for interacting with me, anyone leaving comments or replies or sending asks. Don't feel bad about doing it please. I appreciate all of you that have engaged with me and it really means so much to me. Honestly, earlier this year, if I didn't have this fic and everyone on this blog, I might not have made it to now. It's been a really rough year and it's still going to be into next year. It's just getting to the point where I need a break.

I've needed a break for a long time. I thought taking days off the blog would help, and it did for a couple of weeks, but now even on the days I'm supposed to be on the blog and engaging, I just find myself queueing stuff up and just being offline most of the day still.

I'm tired. That's the best reason I can give. I'm tired and burned out on life and I'm tired and burned out on this blog.

So...I think I need a break. I need to not keep responding to every single reply and reblog every chapter. I need to not force myself to answer every ask right away, no matter how much I want to. I feel bad, but I know everyone would rather have me here and enjoying the blog than forcing myself to interact to the point where I'm dreading it and just robotically repeating myself over and over with every reply and answer and comment.

I won't be pausing the fic, I won't be not uploading. I'll still be posting chapters, I just might not be interacting as much as I have been. It's just putting such a mental strain on me still, even with anon off, even with days off. And with things getting busier for me, it's going to be too much to try and deal with irl stuff and write and try to be super active on the blog. There's going to come a point where I have to sacrifice the writing or the blog and I'd rather sacrifice the blog to keep myself sane, and also to keep trying to finally get this fic done. I love this fic, don't get me wrong, but I'm just burning out.

I'm already burned out in a lot of ways.

I was planning kinktober this year but honestly I'm considering not doing it because I know interaction is going to be insane and it's going to be a lot to keep up on. Plus trying to write that many fics is hard and I'm not sure I have the ability to do it. I have a few done but now I'm just like...is that something I want to do on top of irl stuff and CRCB.

There's just no joy in it anymore. It's not anyone's fault but mine. I put the pressure on myself, I held myself to that standard for this long despite the fact I knew it was draining me. I've tried to push through when I should have prioritized myself. I feel so guilty not responding to everyone. I feel so guilty being a day or two late responding to everyone.

I want to be here and interacting and responding to things but I just can't bring myself to anymore. It's no one's fault, and this is not a drag on anyone, or an attempt to make anyone feel bad or guilty for interacting or sending asks or anything. I'm just airing out the truth and saying what I need to say because I feel like I've been so robotic and lifeless with my responses these last couple weeks and I feel like I need to explain why. It's nothing anyone has done. It's my fault. It's 100% my fault.

Things have just gotten to be too much and it's my fault for forcing myself to be so active. The social battery has dropped into the negatives. I'm not a social person. I can only handle so much interaction and I've pushed so far beyond that, that things have gotten to this point. I want to be here and I want to have fun and I want to use this as an escape but I just don't feel that way about it anymore. It's a chore for me, a job, something I feel like I have to do and it's my fault that I feel that way. It's my own standards and expectations I set on myself, and my expectations on what I think my followers want and deserve and now I feel like I've gone on too long like this that I can't change things without hurting anyone's feelings. I don't want people to think I'm ignoring them in favor of others because I know there's writers out there that do that. They only respond to a certain group and ignore others that comment and reblog. I don't want to make anyone feel like I'm doing that to them and that's now led me to here.

I'm forcing it and I'm tired.

It's been hard these last few weeks. The life has just been draining and draining continuously. The joy and the love I have for this blog and my followers and the interactions and the fic. The last anon bullshit that happened was just kind of the last nail in the coffin so to speak. The straw that broke the camel's back. Things stopped being fun. It made me feel bad (and not in the guilty way, though that was a part of it) and I'm honestly just over it. I'm over the blog, I'm over interacting, I'm over life at this point. August is a hard month for me and every year it seems to get worse and worse. A lot of it is unrelated to anything online and I was going to make a post about it but honestly I just don't want to. Those that know, know. Those that don't...it doesn't matter.

I'm getting annoyed by the blog, I'm getting annoyed every time I look in my notifications and see an ask or a reply or a comment. I'm getting annoyed by some of my followers and that's not fair to you. Everyone always talks about how nice and kind and patient I am when I'm really not. I'm not the person I present myself to be on this blog, the way I mask myself so I can present myself as being a normal, kind human being. The mask is coming off because I'm so tired I can't keep it up anymore. It's happening here and it's happening in real life. I'm tired and I'm frustrated and I'm angry at a lot of things and the last thing I want is to start taking it out on my followers. You don't deserve that, especially when it's not your fault, it's nothing any of you have done. It's all me.

It's not you, it's me.

So for the sake of not burning this whole thing to the ground, I'm going to take a break. I'm not replying to everyone, I'm not responding to every reblog, I won't reply to every ask I get right away, if at all because sometimes I just don't have anything to say in response and I need to learn that's okay. It's nothing against you. It's not aimed at anyone specifically, I'm just trying to put myself first and stop things from escalating. I need a break and I'm going to do something selfish and I'm going to take it.

Don't apologize because it's not your fault. Don't apologize because you think you might have contributed to this because you didn't. It is no one's fault but my own.

I'm the one that needs to apologize to all of you because I've just not been myself because I've been forcing myself to be someone I'm not. I've been very unfair to a lot of people over the last seven months that this blog has been active and I've held a precedent that is not sustainable in the long run and made everyone believe that I was capable of maintaining that kind of interaction when I'm not.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry I've been putting everyone through this. I'm sorry I've been so detached and robotic and ingenuine. I'm sorry I led everyone to believe I'm someone I'm not. I'm sorry I've dragged this on this long that it's gotten to the point that I have to make this post.

I considered just disappearing but that wouldn't be fair to you either. I don't want to put you through that, so I'm pouring all of my thoughts out and making you read through this fucking novel of a post. If you've made it this far, then congrats I guess. Gold metals to you who bothered reading this far.

Anyway, all of that aside, I'll still be posting chapters. I'll have them scheduled and I'll probably come on and add links places to keep things current. I'll respond and reply and answer asks when I feel like it. You don't have to stop sending them, but just don't expect them to be responded to right away anymore. I'll probably still be here reblogging things I want and doing things when I feel like it.

I just need a few weeks to myself. Time I don't have to care about the blog at all and keeping up with it. Anon will remain off for the sake of keeping asshole trolls away, and also so I don't open tumblr and have 200 asks in my inbox after a week. Sorry to my anons but it's just the way it needs to be right now. Maybe once this break is over and I've dealt with irl stuff, I'll consider putting it back on. I just can't after everything I dealt with recently on anon.

It'll be the same on Ao3, for those that follow here and read there. Comments will probably sit for a while. They won't be answered right away anymore unless I get the energy to burn through them. Even then I won't try to answer them all at once like I did this last weekend.

I'll try to reblog something every day so y'all know I'm alright. I don't want y'all to panic and it's not fair to put you through that, especially those that might not see this or bother reading it. Those that follow simply for the fic and nothing else. I'm here, I'm just not...here.

This week's chapter is in the queue to be posted tomorrow as usual. Chapters will still come out as planned since I'm not stopping writing, just taking a break from the blog itself.

Thank you those of you who stuck through to the end here. I appreciate all of you so much. You have no idea. I'm sorry I let things get to this point and I'm sorry to anyone that I've gotten rude or snappy with because I couldn't be selfish and put myself first. I'm sorry to anyone that got a robotic, repeated response to something they were probably excited to share. I'm sorry I've been so unfair to everyone and I hope you can forgive me.

Take care and I'll talk to everyone when I have the energy to.