#i m realizing i really can't draw much anymore

[lun--atic]

Art dump

[rekino2114]

Gifting the chainsaw man girls a plushie of themselves

A/n: I'm still on vacation and wanted to do a smaller post while i'm free so i saw this prompt around and thought it was adorable, I'll probably do it with more fandoms let me know if you wanna see it

Makima

Thinks it's amazing and will treasure it forever, she specific keeps it on a shelf in her office (most of her subordinates are very confused to see it just sitting there around the paperwork)

She will 100% give you a plushie of yourself to repay you

Might ask you for a pochita plushie to replace the real one since she doesn't want it anymore.

"Oh, It's adorable darling you're so talented, how about I make you one of yourself to match?"

Power

She is confused at first and asks what power (lol) you used to make a mini her but quickly grows to love it.

It's soft and cuddly just like meowy whenever you're not near her you can bet she'll be cuddling those two things to fall asleep.

Definitely brags about it to denji and aki. Where are their small and fluffy versions of them uh?

"*gasp* is that an idol of the great power? Very well I will accept this. T-thank you"

Himeno

Thinks it's the cutest thing ever and immediately hugs you and peppers you In kisses as thanks

Will always keep it on her shoulder or in view in general hoping that someone asks her about it so she can start ranting about how wonderful her partner is

You have found her multiple times passed out drunk hugging the plushie and mumbling about how much she loves you

"Oh my God! Is that me? Thanks so much it's soooo cute, well not as cute as the original of course~"

Kobeni higashiyama

An incredibly blushy mess whenever you give her the plushie but thinks it's the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for her.

It kinda becomes a comforter for her. Whenever she's more nervous or sad than usual, she hugs the plushie and thinks of you, and it makes her feel at least a bit better

She feels kinda bad about not giving you anything back so she'll probably save the small amount of money she has to buy you a plushie you like.

"O-oh, that's really cute. w-wait, is that m-me? I love it a lot. Thank you so so much"

Quanxi (and her harem)

You immediately got tackled in a hug by 4 of your girlfriends when you showed them plushies of every one of them, quanxi just looked at hers for a while before smiling and joining the group hug

Might genuinely stab someone if they say anything remotely negative about the plushie

She works hard with her girlfriends to make you a plushie of yourself since they thought it wasn't fair that you were the only one in the relationship without one.

"Eh, it really does look like me, you did an amazing job on the girls too, don't worry I'll keep it close at all times"

Asa mitaka

Genuinely can't fathom that you would put effort into making something so cute of her out of everyone and the fact that you gifted her that makes her fall in love with you even more

Always keeps it with her mostly in her bag at school, similarly to kobeni it helps calm her down whenever she's having a bad day, it's a reminder that there is someone willing to love her this much

Yoru once tried to draw the scars on it to make it a plushie of her (just to mess with asa) but thankfully she took control in time

"Wait, seriously? That's....for me? Wow, i- I don't know what to say. Just thank you so much"

Yoru

Acts like she doesn't care that much but actually thinks it's really cute, asa often wakes up finding herself hugging it, courtesy of yoru not being able to sleep without it and taking over during the night.

Definitely brags to asa about it (not realizing it's technically a plushie of both of them)

Might ask you to add some weapons to the plushie to make it more interesting

"Hm? What's that? a plushie? I guess it does kinda resemble me, thanks it is kinda nice"

Fami

She might seem as indifferent as usual but genuinely loves the gesture and thinks it's adorable

She brings it with her whenever she eats (which is most of the time) she even puts a little bib on it, it's really cute to watch

Feels really bad when she gets it dirty (mostly when she's eating) so she'll try cleaning it even if she has no idea how

"I see, so it's a plushie of me. How cute. Thank you, you did a great job"

[97keanu]

John Constantine x f!Reader

Premise: As Constantine's assistant, he tests your limits often. You know you're a smart, good girl. So when one wrong placed bet has you on your knees for Constantine as he enacts only your wildest fantasies, you don't know where you two stand anymore. You thought your little crush on him was buried deep, but it turns out you are willing to do much more than you ever want to admit. Tonight, he pushes you farther than you thought he ever would...

Tags/CW: MEAN!Constantine, bratty!reader, princess coded!reader, reader who thinks she's too good for you, leashed!reader, pet play, puppy!reader, bimbo-fied!reader, bdsm, age gap, p in v, f!reader, crybaby-ish!reader, crying kink, choking, AGGRESSIVE, oral (m receiving.), dub-ishcon, degradation, humiliation, praise kink, girl on top, raw, edging.

Be added to my tag lists here! Read more of my works here!

You knew making a bet with Constantine was never the right move. Your pride got ahead of you, trailing behind it your ego, and your intelligence, that you love to portray in yourself, nowhere to be found. You knew there was no way you would be able to figure out how to hunt a demon all by yourself, you should have never accepted a bet that if you did, Constantine would start treating your training seriously. Now, you've lost, and on top of it, you agreed to do whatever Constantine said from now on. And that does mean, whatever he says, you soon realize...

"I am not doing that, Constantine!" You stomp a chunky heeled foot and fold your arms, trying to look mean and serious the way he does, but failing.

"What's wrong, you're such a 'goody-two-shoes' that you can't have some fun every now and then?" He takes a long draw from his cigarette, he's so close you can smell the cologne mixed with smoke coming from him.

It was bitter and spicy, only the smallest hint of sweetness.

"Fun? You think leashing me is some sort of 'fun' for me?" You scoff and glare as he blows smoke into your face, batting it away with one hand.

"Yeah, it'll loosen you up a bit. Maybe you can turn that bright mind of yours off while I tug on your leash and make you sit pretty." He gives you a thump in your forehead when he mocks your smart tendencies, and you feel anger rising even more.

Your cheeks go red and you know you just look even more pathetic when you're mad at like this.

"I don't see how any of this has to do with learning to hunt demons or helping you." You scoff and turn your eyes from him, completely baffled by the whole idea.

"It might teach you that you can't just go off on your own trying to slay a demon before you're ready. It also might show you where you fit in all of this..." He teases you, pull a lock of your hair between two of his fingers.

"And where's that? Beneath you?" You say it with disdain, but the truth is that you wouldn't mind that so much. The heat between the two of you has been brewing since you started the job with him. It was only a matter of time...

"Lighten up, Princess. It's just my way of pay back for you losing the bet. Besides, I might even give you a treat if you're a good girl." He pulls your chin up, forcing your big doe eyes to look into his deep brown ones.

And that's how you ended up here. On your knees, a leather collar around your dainty little neck, looking up at Constantine as he tugs you towards him. You can't believe you've been brought so low. You started this job because you thought you had the smarts and academic research to help aid in finding demons. Now you're looking up at your own personal demon.

"Crawl." Constantine commands, and pulls on your leash, forcing you to follow if you don't want to be choked.

You feel so humilated. Your cheeks heat to a level that you didn't think possible, and your lip quivers as you try to force down your sudden feelings of inadequacy. Constantine is not stopping until you really know your place.

"Sit." He finally says once he's dragged you to the bedroom, yanking on your chain when you don't do so fast enough.

You feel tears welling up, and soon enough, you know it's not just because of how embarrassed you feel about the situation. Instead, you feel yourself beginning to like being commanded as such. Deny it all you want as tears roll down your cheeks, but you like giving up all the control you fight for.

"Don't cry," Constantine laughs at you, his cruelty knowing no bounds. "You don't know how much more it turns me on to see you cry..."

"You're sick..." You whisper and look at the ground, but Constantine's yank of your leash stops you from looking away.

"Don't act like you're not enjoying this, Princess. I can see it in your eyes." You gaze at him and hate how easily your rising arousal is seen.

Constantine sits on the bed, watching as you sit on your knees before him. The hard wood floors are leaving your knees aching already, and somehow that pain is sending heat between your legs in waves.

"I want you to undress." Constantine commands you.

You want to resist. You know resisting is almost as bad as admitting defeat, however. And since you've already lost once, getting you into this situation, you feel like the test is on now.

"This is completely ridiculous..." You grumble, your hands folding over your chest.

"Is it?" Constantine laughs while he looks down at you, cheeks hot and wet. "You're the one who agreed to let me test your limits however I desired. You knew what you might be getting yourself into. I'm sure you secretly hoped it would come to this."

His voice chides you like a child, making you feel even lower, and the worst part was, he was right. Fantasies of Constantine doing whatever he pleased with you had floated through your head when you agreed. You never thought it would involve treating you like a bad puppy, however.

"You're so cruel to me..." The last part comes out in a whisper as your arms move, lifting your shirt to reveal what you have on underneath.

"Interesting how such a prude as yourself has such sexy lingerie underneath..." Constantine's eyes eat you up.

He watches with hunger as you kneel there, your lacy, black bra the only thing that covers your chest, which is heaving with the nervous and aroused breaths you take.

"I..." You try to think of something smart-assed to say, but end up short.

The truth was, you started wearing such lacy and tempting things beneath your clothes soon after you started working for him. You know why.

You know that you wanted to be ready, just in case...

And now here you are, all blush and embarrassment, tear stained cheeks and anger for being brought to this, laid almost bare in front of him. This man you have claimed to his own face to dislike. You feel such a fool as yourself probably deserves to be treated as such as he pull your chain nearer to him.

"Don't be so pathetic, puppy..." He gives another yank. "I think you'll find if you're a good doggy for me I might just give you a treat."

You glare at him as you sit so perfectly between his legs. You can see the huge bulge pressed up against his black suit pants, and you shift your thighs uncomfortably as you realize how badly you want to take him into your mouth. When your big eyes look up at him, lashes batting and confused, Constantine smirks.

"You don't have to hold yourself back, go ahead, take it out." And despite yourself, your hands are moving to the zipper and buttons of his pants, so slowly.

You let Constantine's cock take over your view, flopping out of his pants and easily into your hands. You're tired of fighting it. The ache deep in your stomach and between your thighs has gotten too persistent to ignore, and now here you are, leashed and stroking your boss's cock.

You know how much he's enjoying this, beyond even just the pleasure you're feeding him right now with your hand. He likes this feeling of domination over you, likes seeing you finally let go. You can't help but feel like this is where he thinks you belong. Beneath him and doing what you're told.

"That's it..." He sighs, leaning his head back ad your hand warms his cock for him. Even just the smell of it from how close you are, is filling your pretty little head and driving you mad.

You bite your lip and look up to him, he's loosening his tie and pulls your leash again, leading you even further to do what he wants. Your mouth waters as you think about putting something as big as his cock in it. You don't even know if you could fit it all, to be honest...

You hear him let out a small moan, obviously not wanting to do so. And as he does, you realize he needs this, this release, just as much as you do. You may be the one leashed and collared, but he's the one who's needing his cock touched so badly right now.

You bring the tip to your pouty mouth, and Constantine's warm brown eyes look down at you. You look into them sweetly and tease him with your tongue. He seems to be responding well, until goes on too long, and he reached a hand up and takes it behind your head.

"I can't wait that long, puppy." His voice is filled with need, and as he pressed on the back of your head, you can't help but open up, taking his cock into your mouth.

What really surprised you was how deep he pushes you, taking in way more than you thought possible and still having more left over. You choke for a moment, and it's clear Constantine likes hearing it. He continues to bob your head for you, his grip tightening and getting rougher just to hear your muffled cries. You feel the tears welling up again, this time involuntarily, caused by how rough he's fucking your throat and face. You grip his thighs, hands against his pants, and look up at him like the pretty princess you are, being all used up by such a wicked man as him.

"God, you've got such a cute face when you take my cock like that..." He groans out, head falling back once more as he loses himself in you for a moment.

You feel how tight he has you pulled by your leash, and you know you couldn't stop if you wanted to. He has you so perfectly trapped right now, and somehow being so restrained makes your pussy even wetter. You had no idea you needed to be tamed like this.

Suddenly, he pulls your head violently from his cock, spit trailing and eyes blinking out a few more tears. You look up at him with your big wet puppy dog eyes, trying to catch your breath and stop from choking on your own spit that's accumulated.

"Alright, princess," he starts with a heavy breath of his own, pulling your lead and your hair as he moves you up on to the bed with him. "I want to see what else you can do."

Constantine perfectly places you on top of him, his cock underneath your pussy, your thin piece of underwear being the only thing stopping him from slipping inside of you.

He's kept most of his clothes on, and somehow it makes you feel even more degraded knowing that he doesn't even feel the need to get that naked and open to you. It feels quick, it feels easy, it feels like fucking a stranger in a seedy little hotel room. You adore it...

You don't even have to be told, your mind is taken over by your own needs, and you begin to rub your soaking pussy against his solid cock. Constantine smiles and seems to be praising you for your good slut abilities.

"Such a good whore for me..." He whispers, grabbing your hips and rocking you into him in just the right way.

You're so much smaller on his frame as you needily grind yourself into him. He seems so much bigger, and the fact that he's so much older than you, so much more mature, adds to the fact that you feel humiliated and used by him. You're sure he feels the same, and enjoys seeing your young little body using herself up on his cock. You can tell by the way he's looking at you right now, like a hungry wolf waiting for the perfect moment to slaughter the poor little lamb.

"Move them to the side..." He says with a husky breath, not even trying to be kind or nice in asking.

"Y-yes..." You muster out, and reach down, moving your panties out of the way to expose your wet little slit.

Constantine easily lifts you up, and in one solid motion, not waiting to let you acclimatize to such a large cock. You cry out, loud and long, and he cuts it off with a quick pull of the collar, that choking feeling back and the pain and domination mixing with the pleasure of being so perfectly full. You let out a few choked noises as he grinds you in as deep as humanly possible.

Your mind reels from how much has been taken from you already tonight, and a small bit of fear settles in you as you wonder what you've gotten yourself into. How aggressive could he possibly be? You have no idea, but right now, despite being on top, you've never felt so inferior to Constantine, and with the way he's cruelly enjoying your pain, you shudder.

He only let's you remain still like this for a moment, obviously admiring his handy work on you. Soon enough, he's quickly lifted you again, and slammed himself back into you. You feel as if you may break into two, his cock splitting you so deeply. He continues this, hitting the deepest parts of you with such pleasurable pain that you pant out, breaths shaking and mixing with your cries. Your cheeks are stained with your mascara as more salty tears find their release and you begin to wonder where a fucking like this was all your life.

"I love seeing you so sloppy and your perfect little make up your work so hard on completely fucked like this." You hear Constantine say as he continues to use your body however he likes, fucking you harder and faster as he goes.

One of his hands finds your clit, rubbing circles that cause you to double over into him, your hands gripping his white button down and tie, face so close to his now.

"A good whore doesn't come out of the bedroom without a mess on her face." He whispers to you, so close now, he can see all the pain and desperation, all the need and pleasure on your face as your mind is completely fogged.

You keep letting him take you, slowly becoming more and more malleable in his hands, becoming a moaning little mess of a girl that is being fucked on his cock, making a mess of that as well as you get wetter and wetter, his hand bringing you closer with every stroke against your swollen and needy clit.

All you can do is close your eyes and lose yourself on him. You feel yourself edging closer and closer, and your lip trembles, your teeth finding it and biting to keep yourself from cumming to fast, but it's no use.

"F-fuck...I'm going to..." You can't stop the whisper that comes, and you begin to unwind.

You feel him stop suddenly, and then laugh.

"I'm not doing all the work, princess." He says, and leans back, putting both his hands behind his head, one still holding your leash of course.

"Wh-what?" You blink, breathing trying to regulate, looking up at him like a lost little puppy.

"That's right, I wanna see you work yourself on me. It's time you do some of the work if you want to cum, that is." His stupid, mean, cocky face tells you there's no getting out of this, but your lip pouts anyways.

"Hey! That's not fair, I was so close..." You see that it doesn't matter what you say, and his accompanying laugh doesn't make you feel much better anyways.

Your aching and throbbing cunt gets the better of the situation, and you put aside your stubborn nature for the prize of more friction.

You lean up, one hand out stretched as far as it goes, keeping your balance on Constantine's chest. Your hips rock, slowly, then picking up speed and losing awkwardness in favor of deeper thrusts of his cock into you. You begin to moan, finally finding the ultimate pleasure you were missing, free hand moving to your clit once more and giving the needed attention.

"Don't you dare cum without asking me, puppy." Constantine has sat up a bit, so he can pull you closer and say this while looking directly into your eyes. His intensity let's know their will be punishments if you don't do as he commands. You nod your head, willing to do anything right now.

You continue on, fucking yourself perfectly, and feeling your pussy tighten on it's own around him. He's harder than ever, his hips bucking into a bit despite saying you needed to get your own cum from his cock.

"I love seeing you work so hard for it." He whispers, his hand reaching out and wrapping around your neck, moving your head to keep eye contact despite wanting nothing more than to close your eyes and relish in the pleasure.

"Constantine, please, I need to cum..." You whisper out, eyes pleading and messy with running mascara.

"You'll have to do better than that. I need you to beg like the good dog you are." He responds with a wicked grin, eating up all of your desperation with glee.

"Oh god, please, I can't keep this up," you try to get out of it, but his grip on your throat tightens.

"I decide when you cum. Get that through your pretty little head, princess." He scoffs.

"Fine," you cry as he digs his cock deeper right where you need it.

"I'm begging you, please let me cum, I'll do anything, I'll say anything, just let me cum..." The words come out whiney, and breathy, and fast, need building beyond what you ever thought, your hand having to take breaks on your clit, knowing if you don't you'll fall over the edge.

"Anything?" Constantine replies, and you have a bad feeling about the look on his face.

"A-anything..." You whimper out, grinding relentlessly like the needy little bitch you are.

"Fine." he licks his teeth. "Bark like a dog for me, and I'll let you cum."

You look at him stunned for a moment, not wanting to do something so humiliating, cheeks burning hotter than they already are.

"You're kidding..." He stops fucking you and tightens his grip on your throat further, choking out the second word, he doesn't need to say that he's not.

You feel so close, and you need this so bad, but you have never felt so degraded...

Moments pass, and the loss of friction and the need for more builds.

You hold your breath, trying not even to breathe right now, trying not even to give him anything after he's taken so much from you tonight.

When you do breath, you feel utterly embarrassed about what comes out.

A whimper, then a bark. From the look on his face, you know it's not enough. You continue, your bark growing louder and louder until you're desperately crying it out. When you look back, he's laughing at you, and you feel like a school girl again, getting bullied. Somehow, that makes the need grow even more.

"Alright, alright," he says between laughs. "You can cum..."

And then, it's you that holds him down, your muscles tighten and Constantine let's you take him for the first time tonight however you want. You get the power right now, you've earned it after what he's put you through, and he freely let's you fuck him and use his cock however you need. And you do, and you feel yourself spilling, spilling, spilling...

You release on him, and he tells praises you as you do, your walls tightening and bringing him to his own release. You feel his cum, hot and sticky, filling you up more and more with every stroke.

"God, you're so pretty when you take what you want. What a pretty little puppy you are..." He breathes, keeping up with an endless amount of praise that you so desperately needed as you finish, coming down slowly from everything and finally resting, exhausted on his chest, cock still inside you, twitching.

You two say nothing for a long time, laying just like that, and to your surprise, sleep gets the better of you, and you find Constantine's arms wrapping around you to keep you from falling off his chest, and cock. You drift off to the most peaceful, dreamless sleep, you've had since starting this job. Maybe he was right. Maybe you did enjoy this more than you thought, but you'd never let him know that.

Taglist: @worldsgreatestsinner @discoscoob @nwheregirl @slutforsoldierboy @sughcashsaiki @sebastianstanisahotmf @iovesia @brooxie3

Ask to be taken off anytime, be added to the tag list here!

[split-spectrum]

Water and Rock

Chapter 6

Pairings: Obi Wan/FemReader

Warnings/Tags: explicit content, smut (particluarly in this chapter), drug use, dubcon, elements of noncon, mild non-graphic violence, elements of sith!obiwan

Description: There are only so many excuses a master and padawan can make to kiss under "extenuating circumstances" before circumstances stop arising and start being created. You are an expert at your craft - a Jedi knight in service as a spy for the Republic. When your former master Obi Wan joins you on a mission, it's clear things aren't the same as they once were. The trials you face together may break your bond, or turn it into something else entirely.

☆☆☆

The sound of your belt clattering to the floor echoes against the duracrete walls of the cell. His hand is buried in the fabric of your robes, pulling them to the side, and he's kissing you like a force of nature; like the kiss will be the end of you both.

And it will be, and you know it will be, and you're beyond caring.

His hand slips beneath the fabric at last, the feeling of his fingers on your skin making you suck in a breath through your teeth to keep from moaning. His thumb traces over your bare hip, moving up to your back. Then he flattens his hand, pulling it down to your stomach. The tips of his fingers are threatening to finally, finally, drop beneath your waistline and you're unable to resist the urge to squirm, desperately wishing you could reach down and guide his hand where you need it.

But he hesitates, unmoving. You suck in the muscles of your stomach, pulling your body to the side, just to feel some movement - any movement. His hand drags deliciously across your skin, sending shivers all the way up to your neck, but the movement isn't his. It's movement you're manufacturing for him. He's fixed in place, eyes wide and darting over your body like he's not even really present in the room. Like he's watching from a distance, removed from himself.

Slowly, in a way that you could interpret as cruel if you didn't know him well enough to realize he's not intentionally teasing, he leans in to kiss you again. His lips meet yours so tenderly, so softly, that your eyes squeeze shut. It's almost painful to be held so gently by him.

As he brushes his mouth over yours, his hand dips lower. Then he curls his fingers inward, pulling them back. It's as if he's trying to drag his attention away from where his hands are about to go.

You give a soft whine at the denial and he stops kissing you, mouth falling open. He says a word in a language you don't understand, but from his tone and the way he yanks his body away from yours, you can guess it's a curse.

"This is completely wrong."

He pulls away from you, extricating his hand and leaving you burning, alone, and practically trembling. He brings one hand to his chin, stroking it downward, almost seeming to wipe his mouth clean.

He's shaking his head. "I am the one in control, here. You can't move. I must be the one to stop."

Your eyes are drawn to the center of his body. You want to see the evidence against the case he's making, but sadly his tunic is covering everything. Even as impressive as he felt against you, there's no bulge to see when he takes a wide stance.

You shift your hands uncomfortably in the binders, and he looks up at the noise of the chain. You didn't mean to draw his attention to your frustration. Or maybe you did. It's hard to tell anymore.

"What difference does it make?" you ask, trying to mask the desire in your voice by speaking quietly. "We've already broken our oaths, haven’t we?"

He brings his eyes up from the floor and gives you a look that's stern and knowing, and for just a moment he looks like himself again.

"You know the difference," he says in a soft, low tone that shoots straight to your core.

You want him. You've never wanted anything as much as you want him to touch you, right now, looking like that.

"Obi Wan..." you trail off, staring at him.

Stars, he's so perfect... just touch me...

All at once, his eyes lose their coolness. He continues to look at you, determination melting into unabashed lust, and he takes a long, slow blink. He leans into you again. You feel a rising in your chest as he wraps his arms around you and brings his lips to yours, only to halt, achingly close, and pull back with a furrowed brow.

He looks at you. You look at him. When you both realize what's happened, your heart sinks into your stomach.

"Did... you..." he starts to ask, but doesn't finish, just staring, wide-eyed.

You'd tried to mind-trick him. You'd implanted your thoughts into his mind. He'd felt it, and he was strong enough to stop you, even in his state. But you had tried.

"I..." you have no words for the horror you feel at what you'd nearly done. But he interrupts you before you need to go any further.

"This is what I mean. You are not yourself."

"I..." you try again, your head still spinning with the implications of your actions. "I didn't mean to..."

He's still holding you. You're surprised he hasn't pulled away. "I know. You don't mean to do any of this."

His hands are resting lower now, sliding to the small of your back. "This is not what either of us wants. Not really. It's an illusion of the drug. Just focus; try to remember a time before this."

His attempt to soothe you is only making you burn hotter, his voice deep and smooth in your ear. You can't take it.

"That isn't going to work."

"If you just try to remove yourself from..."

"It won't work," you interrupt him, tired of talking and tired of waiting. Your blood is burning and you can hardly wait for him to stop talking so you can feel his lips again.

"How can you say that when you haven't-"

"Because there's never been a time I didn't want you."

His eyes widen for a moment before his brows push together in a tormented look. Then, all at once, he kisses you, and you're lost in a desperate, wanton stretch of whispered groans and dragging teeth.

When he gasps into your neck, "You can't... say... It isn't..."

You simply keep talking over him. You'll say anything to have him like this. "I want you now. I wanted you on Keoth. I wanted you on Pantora."

He lets out a soft, long breath, just beneath your ear. You know you've crossed a line. You're trying to break him, to do anything to keep him touching you. You don't care anymore about what is wrong and what is forbidden.

Pantora was one of the last missions you'd had together as Master and Padawan, before you took the trials at 21. It had almost been Obi Wan's last mission altogether. He had fallen through a crevasse, where his leg had gotten pinned. Your mission team couldn't risk breaking the ice around him, as it could potentially cause an ice shelf to break off and destroy a village below it. He'd had no choice but to painstakingly chisel himself free, and as the only other Jedi on the mission, only you could reach him. No one on the team had ice climbing tools, but you could use the force to jump down to him, and jump back out.

You had spent an entire rotation alone with him, both of you taking turns carefully digging him out, and as the hours passed, you felt more and more devastated by the knowledge that you wouldn't be sharing missions like this anymore; that you'd never be this close again. The stories, the warmth, the intimacy you'd experienced... it was the first time you knew you'd carry your bond with him for the rest of your life. Back then, you'd interpreted the feelings as healthy affection for your Master. Looking back, you could call it what you really knew it was.

This time, when he leans up to kiss you again, you pull on his bottom lip with your teeth, almost digging in. Some part of you wants him to taste the pain you feel when he pulls away. But he doesn't shy away from your bite. He tightens his grip on your waist.

"Touch me," you finally gasp when he parts your lips. "You have to touch me. Please. Please."

You hear your own voice as if it belongs to someone else. You know you're debasing yourself in front of him, but it doesn't matter anymore. You don't care how pitiful you sound when you beg. When he stares back at you, the dim light in the room catching his face at just the angle to illuminate his features, a simple thought fills your mind: You should consider yourself lucky to beg into such beautiful eyes.

He swallows. "Please, don't."

The animalistic part of you that's taken over can't focus on his words; only the way he says them. You can hear his resolve crumbling.

"I... I need it. Anything. Just one touch, just..."

You whimper against his mouth when he closes it over yours.

He pulls back once he's silenced you. "Stop. I can't think with you... like this. You must stop."

You grind your lower half against him. "Fuck. Please. I'm so..."

He's biting his lip, and all at once, he's snaking his hand through your clothes.

Your brows knit together in desperate need, and you stifle a gasp when he makes contact with your skin again.

"Don't stop."

His lashes flutter when you speak, and his hand trails lower while he leans in to kiss your neck. "I'm afraid I'm at a point... beyond stopping. Even if I were to try."

You melt at his words, at first. Then, suddenly, you pull back slightly, using the last of your strength to resist. "I'm not... I wasnt...?"

Fear begins to creep back into your features when it occurs to you what he may be implying. You hadn't felt yourself reaching out in the force. Any attempts at control hadn't been intentional.

You try to read his face, but his expression is unreadable, his eyes glossy. When he sees your reaction, though, he shakes his head.

"No," he says, putting your fears to rest. "No, you weren't."

You let out the breath you'd trapped in your chest.

"And yet..." he goes on. His eyes are dark, his voice thick.

"I can't refuse you."

He captures your lips in a perfectly sweet kiss as his fingers dip below your waist and slip between your legs.

You let your head sink back against your arms, a broken moan ripping out of you. His fingers are even more perfect than you'd imagined - gentle and strong and smooth. He slides further down, to where you're soaking, and when you slick his fingers he lets out a soft sigh, his breath hot against your neck.

He strokes you perfectly, with no urgency, just curious concentration at your body's response to his touch. He pulls back to watch you, his lips slightly parted. His eyes are heavy, lashes flickering up and down as his gaze drags over your face to catch every gasp, every twitch, every movement you make. When his eyes meet yours, he slowly pushes two fingers inside you, holding them there.

You're sure you must have died, because only becoming one with the living force could feel this good.

"Shiiittt..." you sigh, eyes closing, the feeling of him inside you overwhelming all of your senses.

He blows air out softly through the "o" shape of his lips as he curls his fingers and starts to fuck you with them. You can feel his hand getting wetter as he works to build the heat inside you toward detonation. When you open your eyes again, a deep pulse of electricity runs from your center down to your toes. Watching him do this to you, watching him become undone by doing this to you... it's too much. It feels too good. It almost aches.

His fingers - you've seen them so many times, doing so many things. Wrapped around his saber hilt in deadly combat. Writing dilligent notations in his personal manuscripts during late hours in the archive. Straightening the collar of your robe, gently reminding you to present yourself neatly in the temple.

And now they're buried in you, working you steadily and deliciously as you writhe, fucking yourself against his hand.

You moan shamelessly, your hands grasping helplessly up at the ceiling above your head, opening yourself up to him, to whatever he'll give you. He pushes even deeper, hooking the first of his knuckles methodically back toward himself over and over, bringing you closer and closer to oblivion.

You curse again breathlessly, trying to hold yourself at your peak; trying to make it last as long as you can. But he's making it impossible for you.

"Do... do you remember Pantora?" you murmur to him, talking to keep yourself from tipping over the edge.

He misses a beat at the sound of your voice, not answering right away, pumping his fingers a few more times, listening to your breath becoming more and more uneven.

"Of course I remember."

It sends a shiver through you and makes you more bold. Or maybe it's the drug making you bolder. Perhaps both. Either way, you have the courage now to ask a question you never would in your right mind.

"Did... you want me then, too?"

He gazes at you, slowly drawing his fingers out, as if thinking it over, and then slides them back, continuing his curling motion.

"I didn't think of you in... that way, no. You were my Padawan. I saw you as my Padawan. Until-"

He cuts himself off, and you suck in a breath at the word 'until'. You repeat it back to him, questioningly. He pauses again.

"That day in the gardens." His fingers slow. "You always wore your hair up, in braids. The day before you took the trials, we spoke in the garden. And you... wore it down."

You remember the day. "You... noticed."

"I noticed," he says. Then his fingers quicken. "I noticed, and I wanted you. I wanted to touch you, just like this."

The tendons in his wrist clench as he works his fingers steadily inside you, then reaches down, brushing the wet over his thumb and using it to slide over your clit. You jerk and let out a sharp whine at the pressure, feeling like you're about to explode.

"Fuck, don't stop. Oh, stars. Please don't stop."

He groans at your desperation, pulling the arm he's wrapped behind you closer, squeezing your bodies together. "Oh, yes. You like that, don't you?"

No words will form in your mind, only thoughts of the bliss he's sending through every part of you. You nod, mewling through your nose. He slows his movements, sending you spiraling, and you meet his eyes, wondering why.

He curls his lip. "Then, say it."

The words pour out of you at his command, tumbling over your lips, ragged and insistent. You'll say whatever he asks. You'll invent new words if it's what he requires to keep doing this.

"It's so good. Fucking- Ngh- fucking amazing. It's... you're going to make me-"

He strokes you perfectly until your breath hitches and you tumble over the precipice, crying out his name, whimpering and writhing in your chains, pussy twitching around his hand as he draws out your orgasm. You're a shaking mess by the time he finishes with you, leaving his fingers inside while delicately pulls his thumb from your oversensitive clit, your whining gasps telling him you're spent.

When just the two fingers inside you are left, he smirks at you, pulling them out so, so slowly.

"My goodness, we certainly made a mess," he says thoughtfully, the tips of his fingers still inside you, coated with you.

He hesitates. "But, something tells me..." He pushes back in, the filthy sound of how wet you are filling the room. "...You're not satisfied."

You let your eyes flutter quickly at the feeling, and when you open them to look at him again, you suddenly realize how dilated his pupils are. His gaze is hungry, shameless and wanting.

"I..." you can barely speak, you're so drained. But looking at him like this is stirring something within you that goes deeper than the physical. "I want..."

You shudder. Your head is spinning, filled with conflicting feelings. You know precisely what you want, but seeing the look in his eyes reminds you how far gone you both are. Whatever he may be right now, this man is not your master. When he looks at you like this, there's a word you can't quite put your finger on that describes him.

He brings his mouth to your ear, and in a voice you've never heard from him before, he growls, "I know what you want."

At that, it occurs to you the word you've been thinking of is 'dangerous'.

He finally slides his fingers from you, your thighs trembling around him. He doesn't pull your pants down yet, just uses the hand, still wet from you, to palm himself through his own pants. He still has one arm wrapped around you and his eyes are roving over your body greedily, like a starving man about to sink his teeth into the perfect meal.

Some distant part of your mind tells you that you'd normally feel self conscious, but that part of yourself is so far removed and muffled by the drug flooding your mind that it's white noise. Your only present thought is that you hope he gives in to his craving quickly.

"I will give it to you," he says. "I want to give it to you. But first..." he brings his hand up to your face and cradles your jaw. "You must tell me what you want."

You nearly choke at the demanding tone of his voice. It doesn't occur to you to be concerned at how dark his eyes have become. You imagine your eyes have a similar quality right now.

"Master, I need..."

His eyes widen when you speak, but before you can finish the sentence, the sound of footsteps outside cuts you off.

As the footsteps approach the door, Obi Wan releases his grip on you, parting your bodies, but only just slightly. His posture isn't one of a man who's been caught. His shoulders are stiff, and his expression holds irritation as the door slams open again.

A Falteen guard enters, hand on his blaster. When he sees the way you're looking at him, he pulls it and keeps it raised, staying near the open doorway. He clicks a button on his wrist.

"Possibly some effects here. Tell Marg we're bringing the prisoners out for interrogation soon."

"Are you?" Obi Wan asks coolly when the guard switches off his commlink. "Who is 'we'?"

"Wasn't talking to you, Jedi," the guard grunts as he backs toward the door, blaster still raised.

"How impolite. And I thought we were guests."

"Shut up," the guard snaps, then speaks into his wrist again. "Did you hear me? I said the prisoners are ready. Get here, now."

Catching sight of the way Obi Wan is looking at him, the guard abruptly turns to leave and close the door behind him.

"Ah, ah," Obi Wan admonishes, raising a hand that keeps the guard frozen in the doorway. "Keep us company, won't you? Until your friends get here."

The guard's face shows considerable effort in turning his upper body backward and raising his blaster halfway. Obi Wan smirks, and in an instant the blaster is across the room and in his hand. With his other hand, he makes a rising motion, then grips around an invisible throat.

The throat is, in fact, attached to the guard, who is now clutching at it. The guard's feet are off the ground, kicking uselessly. You almost think it looks... amusing.

Obi wan is certainly entertained. "Not feeling sociable? That's quite alright. I don't mind a quiet evening."

The noises of the guard's windpipe being crushed go on for some time. It disgusts you somewhat, hearing the pathetic creature struggle, but finally it comes to an end when Obi Wan clenches his fist, snapping his neck completely and dropping him to the floor.

You sigh, glad it's finally over, and Obi Wan wastes no time in aiming the blaster at the floor where his chain is mounted. He fires off several shots, eventually managing to free himself, the chain still around his leg but no longer attached to the ground. He comes over to you, running the back of his hand down your face.

"It appears it's time for us to go."

You nod. Despite the drug's insistence that nothing is as important as what you were about to do, you still understand the concept of life and death. To your immense irritation, you want to live.

"They took our lightsabers in the first room... I think it was to the south of the main room. They locked them in a grey box," you tell him. Your aching shoulders want you to ask him to blast you free of the wall,  but your hands are too close to the top of the chain. He gives you a nod in return, then walks to the door.

"Don't worry," he says with a casual smile as he raises the blaster in his hand and fires down the hallway. "I won't be long."

You watch as he leaves, frustrated that you can't accompany him, but confident in his promise. It's abundantly clear he's not the one in danger.

Screams echo down the hallway and blaster fire lights up the walls. The sound of bodies being flung, followed with silence, confirms what you had thought. He's gone for what feels like an eternity, but in reality, was probably only a few minutes. When he returns, he's cut himself out of his chain and he's carrying both of your lightsabers. He quickly cuts you down, then holds his saber still for you to push your bound hands into it, separating the binders and then cutting them off completely.

You roll your shoulders. Sharp pain shoots through them, but it's a sweet kind of pain. "Thank you."

"My pleasure," he says with a smile. "Shall we?"

You follow him back down the hallway, now littered with bodies. It seems a stray blaster bolt must have clipped one of the light fixtures on the wall. It's flickering on and off, illuminating the bodies intermittently and casting shadows over Obi Wan's face.

"I suppose we'll need to steal a ship to get out of here," you say, relatively disinterested in the carnage that surrounds you.

"My thoughts exactly," he replies, stepping over a dismembered arm as you reach the end of the hallway and enter the main room again where the large table now sits empty. "I believe our host was about to save us the trouble."

You walk around the table to find Marg splayed out on the ground, looking up at you with an anguished groan. One of his legs is bent at a sickening angle.

You say the only thing that comes to mind. "Oh. Hello."

"Augh," Marg responds, gripping his leg and gritting his teeth at you. "Whatever you want, just take it and go. Remember, I let you live."

Obi Wan raises an eyebrow.

"Let..." the word rolls off his tongue slowly. Then he shakes his head just slightly, circling the table to look down at Marg himself.

"You know, I do owe you thanks, Marg."

The Pyke trembles when Obi Wan comes closer, gazing down at him with an almost bored expression.

"When I was a padawan, my master used to tell me that fear is the path to the dark side. Fear of loss, fear of pain, fear of death..."

His eyes trail over the table as he speaks, a streak of crimson staining the stone where evidently someone's body had been dragged.

"But what is the dark side without fear?"

You watch a grin spread over his face when Marg tries to inch away from him.

"Power."

Your eyes are drawn to the way his jaw sets after he says the word. He's magnificent.

He reaches toward Marg, whose hands suddenly rip at his throat, trying to pull at invisible fingers. "So I really must thank you, for showing me a new path. Now, if you would be so kind as to assist me further, where is the nearest ship with a hyperdrive?"

Marg's eyes are bulging and Obi Wan releases him slightly so that he can speak. Just as he's about to, a handful of guards enter the room. Your eyes snap up. They raise their blasters, training them all on Obi Wan.

You squint angrily at the interruption. How could such insignificant life forms threaten him? They should simply die.

And they do. The instant the thought enters your mind, they turn their barrels toward themselves and pull triggers.

Six bodies hit the floor almost in unison. Obi Wan stares, confused for only a moment before turning his gaze on you. His smile widens.

"Well done, young one. Very impressive."

His words of praise shoot through you, setting every nerve ending on fire. You were already burning for him, and now it's an inferno.

He turns his attention back to Marg, who's still squirming in his grip. "Well?"

The Pyke leader bites out a series of directions to the nearest landing platform and gasps when Obi Wan lets him go. He drops down with a heavy thud and sucks in shuddering breaths, scowling up at you.

You look back into his eyes, annoyed that he does not appear to be grateful at his release. You flick your wrist, lightsaber illuminating in your hand, and behead him.

The dark cloth of his ceremonial headcovering drapes behind his head as it rolls across the floor, and Obi Wan looks at you in mild surprise.

You shrug. "It will take longer for them to organize and follow us if he's dead."

His lips tug into a tight smile. "Very well; have it your way."

You follow him into the main entrance, back the way you'd originally been dragged into the compound, and you follow the dead Pyke's instructions to reach the landing platform, where you help yourselves to the largest ship available.

Obi Wan seats himself in the captain's chair, checking fuel gauges and testing the controls before take off. You busy yourself closing the hatches and preparing the ship. Once everything is secure, you give the all-clear and the ship lifts off, quickly exiting the atmosphere.

Once you've entered hyperspace, Obi Wan keys in the coordinates for Coruscant and heaves a sigh of relief, settling himself back into his seat. You walk over to him and he looks up at you from over his shoulder.

"What an ordeal that was." He looks down at his chest, seeming to notice the blood stain on his tunic for the first time. "And I'll have to get my robes cleaned. Blast."

You gaze down at him, hardly listening. You're still aching for him, and you feel no need to hold back your tongue. "Master... I believe you said you had something to give me?"

He turns his chair to face you, lowering his hands to the arm rests, seemingly unfazed by your bold change of subject. He raises his brows just slightly. "Is that how one should ask?"

You weren't expecting his simple retort, and for a moment you're unsure how to respond. He takes your silence as an answer.

"I was very clear."

His voice is imposing, almost terse. It makes your knees a bit weak.

"I... want you to touch me," you start off low and quiet. You put more effort into your voice for the second attempt. "I want you to fuck me."

His brows flick up, then his face relaxes into an amused smirk. "I'm just not sure..."

"Please. I want you to fuck me."

"It's something in your tone..."

You let out a slow breath, barely able to keep yourself from falling to the ground and begging. You need to convince him, but you can hardly form coherent sentences, just looking into his eyes like this. A thought crosses your mind.

"I... can show you."

His gaze becomes a bit more intense. "Show me what?"

"Now that I'm not tied up, there's a lot I can show you," you say, leaning down to place a kiss on his neck.

His eyelids dip briefly, and then he pulls you into a full kiss, gripping you and pressing his thumb into your jaw.

"Do you think you've earned it?"

"I... what?" You yelp in pain when his thumb presses harder.

"I wanted you to ask me for it, properly. Now, you can beg for it."

He kisses you again, his tongue forcing itself deep into your mouth, teasing until you feel like you're going to lose your mind. You could scream, you want him so badly.

When you break apart, you're panting. "Please, let me show you how much I want it. I can make you feel so good."

You snake your hand down his chest toward the center of his body, but he stops you, catching your wrist.

He pulls you almost into his lap, gritting into your ear. "Have you forgotten your place, young one?"

Your thighs clench together. "I haven't, I..."

His hand tightens on your wrist. "Get on your knees."

You scramble out of his hold to lower yourself to the floor, looking up at him furtively to make sure you're following his instructions as intended. Once you're kneeling, he looks down at you from his seat, his posture composed.

"Better."

You stifle a groan at his encouragement, soaking between your legs.

He leans his shoulders back, spreading his arms wide in his chair, and crosses one leg over the other, with the ankle of one boot resting on the opposite knee.

"You will show proper respect."

You bounce your head in a vigorous nod. "Yes, Master."

Something flickers in his eyes when you say that word, and it's enough to let you know how to proceed. You bow your head down, leaning forward, and press a soft kiss into the heel of his boot, holding it delicately in your hand. He doesn't stop you. He just tilts his head in slight surprise.

You kiss it again, and again, and then without thinking you turn your head sideways and press your tongue flat against the tip of his boot, dragging it slowly up. The heavy notes of leather fill your mouth like a fine scotch as you continue all the way up while gazing into his eyes, which are completely fixed on you.

"That is... " He swallows. "Very good."

When you reach the top of this boot, you want to kiss him, but he's too far away. You would need to stand, and he wouldn't allow it. You place the tips of your fingers on the calf of his boot, looking up from under your lashes.

"I could lick something else for you," you tell him, tugging slightly to move his legs apart.

"Oh?" is all he says in return, his voice deep, more words seeming to be stuck in his throat as his leg follows your guidance, spreading his knees apart. His chest is rising and falling faster now.

Your hand slides between his legs and you palm him through his clothing, your pussy tightening when you feel his size properly for the first time. Your mouth is already watering, imagining tasting him.

"If you'll let me?" you ask, gripping him gently and giving a few tugs through the fabric.

His posture is still stiff, the regal curve of his chin unmoving, but you can see the way he's pressing his fingers into the arm rests. You wait for his response, and he finally gives it. He wordlessly nods, giving himself away with a bit too much vigor, his hair falling forward.

He slides a hand through his hair to put it back into place while you pull the waistband of his pants up and over the head of his cock. There's a spot on the fabric starting to soak through from the leaking at his tip, and you can't help yourself from swiping a thumb over it, watching him suck in his stomach at the contact.

You tug his trousers down further, releasing him the rest of the way, and no sooner is he free than you suffocate him with your mouth. You suck his glistening head between your lips and the taste of him makes you throb with need. You allow yourself the pleasure of swirling your tongue just once before you take him all the way, and when he hits the back of your throat it makes you rock back on your knees a little.

His hips jut upward when you slide him all the way into your hot mouth, tightening your lips around him, and you start to work the length of him, savoring every inch as you look up at him in pure worship. His gaze is locked onto your mouth, watching you swallow him over and over. His jaw is starting to slacken.

You slow your movements and watch as the tips of his fingers go white, grasping at the arm rests. He licks his bottom lip.

"Fuck," he growls, his lower teeth jutting out in a half-snarl.

You pull your mouth off him with a wet pop, dragging your fingertips over him teasingly. "Which do you prefer, Master? Shall I go slow..."

You lower your head, spreading your lips over him again and inching down his thickness with an agonizing lack of speed, sighing through your nose at the way he fills your mouth perfectly. Then you pull back up, continuing the same languid motion, and look at him again.

"...or a bit faster?"

His eyes are cloudy now, his breath ragged. He doesn't answer. He just removes one hand from the arm rest and threads his fingers through your hair, slowly guiding you back to full speed.

He groans as you quicken your pace obediently, and every thought in your mind is replaced with the image before you - your master with his eyes closed, arching forward in his seat, holding your head between his legs as you slide your mouth up and down his leaking cock.

His eyes open again and he's staring down at you with an animalistic, almost delirious expression. He twitches inside your mouth and you can tell he's near the edge. You don't want this to end. You want to keep tasting him, keep unraveling him like this forever. Without realizing it, you've slowed down, and he takes notice.

His hand grips your hair more tightly and he starts to move into you, meeting your rhythm halfway and fucking into your mouth.

He gasps, biting out raggedly, "That's it. Don't fucking stop..." as his hips start to snap forcefully, making you choke for air.

You feel his hand slide from the back of your head to the side of your neck, and suddenly he's pressing into your throat, holding you against himself, moaning your name. Your eyes shut for a moment as your senses are overwhelmed. All you can do is keep your pace, keep sucking him, keep making him feel this way so that he never, ever wants to stop. You can't remember anything before this. The only thing that matters is this moment.

His fingers stiffen below your jaw, he grinds your name between his teeth one more time, and then he cums.

He explodes into the back of your throat, making you gasp to keep breathing as you swallow him, drinking everything he pours into you. You tighten your lips to keep moving up and down while he finishes, pressing your hands flat against his lap while his hips buck recklessly against you.

His mouth falls open as he collapses back against the chair, watching you drink the last drops of him, sucking him more softly. You finally let him slide from your mouth when he twitches, spent, and you run your tongue along your bottom lip, still searching for anything left of his taste.

He lies there, panting, his legs splayed shamelessly with his wet cock still on display, while you collapse sideways, leaning on your hand, looking up at him from the floor.

He looks divine. Literally - a god. His skin glistening, his hair disheveled, and his eyes wild, he's an exquisite mess. When he seems to regain some semblance of consciousness, he looks at you questioningly, still half-dazed.

"You swallowed... all of it?"

You nod up at him, unable to speak yet.

He breathes out, "Good girl. Very good."

It's too much. You nearly moan out loud. You reach up tentatively, grasping one of his hands and pulling him out of his seat. In his satisfied state he doesnt resist and kneels next to you, the muscles of his arm doing nothing to prevent you from pulling his hand beneath your clothes and between your thighs, showing him what he's done to you.

He sucks in a breath at the feel of you dripping over his fingers. You gaze at him desperately. "Good enough to be rewarded?"

He's silent, sliding his fingers in a circle, and then murmuring to himself. "So wet..."

He brings his eyes up to yours. "You're so wet," he repeats, playing with you absently, seemingly not concerned with the way you twitch and moan at his touch.

"Please..." you sigh, chest heaving. The words come out in a hoarse, broken whisper. "Please, I need you to fuck me."

He smirks at you. "My padawan has finally learned how to properly beg."

Moments later, you're spread on the floor, his body over yours, his pants at his knees and your legs hooked around him. He's teased you into oblivion, and you're a weakened, shaking shell of your former self. Your mind is gone. Your only thoughts are sin. Your whole existence is centered on the feeling of his index finger, which is swirling over your clit and dropping back down to drag through your wetness. And all at once, your existence turns to nothingness, because he pulls his touch away.

Your world bursts back into light when he finishes taking off his shirt and leans his body over yours, sliding the head of his cock through your lips, coating himself in your slick. He shudders at the feeling, wrapping one of his hands around your thigh to steady himself.

"Tell me what you want," he rasps into your ear.

"Fuck me," you moan, repeating the only words you can conceive at the moment. "Fuck me, Master."

He slides down, resting heavily between your legs, starting to spread you open. "Say my name."

"Obi Wan," his name wrenches out of you, your brows pinching together with all-consuming need. "Obi Wan..."

"Ah, you'd better remember that," he instructs you, easing your legs apart as he slides inside you. "You're going to be screaming it by the end."

He thrusts his cock deep into you, burying himself in one fluid motion, and draws back to start delivering every inch as promised...

And the next thing you remember, you're awake.

You blink.

The room comes into focus. You're in a bed, unclothed, and wrapped in unfamiliar sheets. You sit up, slowly. You're in pain. Your head is pounding and your throat is parched.

You squint around the room, trying to clear your blurry eyes. This looks like the crew quarters of a ship.

You look down at the bed again, and you realize you're not alone. Beside you, someone is sleeping. Someone with light brown hair and a handsome profile. Someone who smells like sage and spice and comfort. Someone who looks... like...

You flinch in recognition, and it jolts the bed. Obi Wan's eyelids squeeze tightly, then flutter open. He looks at you, bleary-eyed, and makes a confused noise in his throat.

He pulls in a deep breath through his nose and sits up, the sheets falling forward from his bare chest. "Commander?"

Your pulse is racing. Your head spins while he looks around the room, the same way you did. His blue eyes fall back onto yours, wide with confusion. "What is... how did we get here?"

You shake your head. "I'm not sure. The last thing I remember, we were drugged on Oba Diah, and then..."

Your eyes widen to match his, images starting to play in your mind. He's searching your eyes, still lost, and then he lowers his gaze to your neck. He tilts his head to look closer.

"Your neck... you have a mark. It looks like a bite-"

His words stop abruptly, just as yours did, and you see the recognition on his face. He doesn't speak for a long, long time. Neither of you does. Your blood is frozen in your veins, your stomach turning.

He gathers his side of the sheets, leaning over the side of the bed as if he's about to be sick.

He whispers with no emotion in his voice, just blank despair, "What have we done?"

--

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Masterlist // Next Chapter >>

[ruckis--rookie]

there is a specific art piece of your’s that seems to have vanished off the internets: “Dark Lord Gerakobitz - Bad End AU”. and I know it disappeared recently because I have a cross-post from your DeviantArt from November 2023

https://www. tumblr.com/loveandmad/ 733130379991629824/dark-lord-gerakobitz-bad-end-au- by-ruckis-rookie (remove the spaces) that now goes to a 404 page

Yeahhh about that. A lot of old art of mine of Fawful and the other M&L lineup has up and vanished. Twould be on purpose.

Y'see, after some very personal events I tried distancing myself from the M&L fandom. The game series remains very sentimental to me, but paired with the personal reasons and the poor treatment Nintendo was giving their fans, I took a long (possibly few) year hiatus. One of several reasons for my hiatus was guilt that I had strayed so far from the source material that the cast of characters didn't seem like the og cast of characters, rather OCs made to fit the mold of them. So by the time I came back I had revamped all the designs I had for the M&L lineup were revamped to be featured as an antagonistic group for my nonfandom oc story called "Order of the Stars" that I'm working on.

The one inspired by my old Fawful design, now named "Geragera", is VERY special to me. He was the one I projected onto the most in the past and he was the one I worked the hardest to distance from the source material without changing him so much that what I had built was no longer there. He's basically a second Fursona to me now. Words can't describe what he means to me.

But despite the many reminders that I gave to old fans that I would be moving on and if I were to ever return to M&L I'd be referencing the source material closer, people still kept missing the memo. Even years later some get confused and it really made me realize how much of an influence I had on shaping the fanon Fawful that's remembered today. It was... incredibly disheartening and upsetting given how hard I worked to make Gera his own character. And furthermore it didn't make sense to me HOW comparisons were still being drawn. I had disappeared for a while to let the fire and the hype die down, in what world to people think THIS

Looks like THIS

If anything at this point Gera takes more inspiration from Yoshi in appearance, I'm shocked more comparisons haven't been drawn to the dinosaur because then I might actually be flattered

But given the circumstances I'd been silently deleting a lot of my old works and archiving them on a personal thumbdrive. It initially started with things I'd see pop up in my notifications that people liked. If I deemed a picture too close to my old fanon Fawful I'd save and delete it. But eventually it got so upsetting to me that in an anger fueled moment I went on an art purge to try and erase the impact I left, or at least scrub what I could to let Gera have a proper limelight instead of being stuck in the shadow of the thing that inspired him. People were also confusing Order of the Stars for an AU, which it's very much not.

While normally I wouldn't have minded the exposure, in fact I would have been flattered had it been years prior (even though the same pic was very much up on Tumblr at some point), that picture was a sore reminder of the past I was so desperate to distance myself. One of many, and reminded me I had to scrub more than just Tumblr... and might have possibly been the catalyst to the purge? I dunno, I slept since then.

The closest you'll get to it now is a horror themed bad end AU that I made that follows a very similar concept

And this is very generous considering the hell I've gone through. It got so bad that I haven't felt very compelled to draw Fawful anymore for fear of further confusion, heck, more recently I decided that I was just going to exclusively post any future M&L art I make over here because I got tired of people finding reasons to draw comparisons on other sites too. I even thought about dropping ANY M&L drawings related to Beanish just to get away from it, but decided against it. I've even started putting more emphasis on Gera's snout just to make him seem less Beanish, which sucks because I've had to stray away from what makes my style mine to begin with. I could easily change his colors, but I can't bring myself to. He's been like this for years now and it's a characteristic that I can't easily let go of, nor do I want to. I've very begrudgingly changed my Beanish HC so that they don't have blue tongues and blood anymore (which was initially nspired by a beta Cackletta sprite having a blue tongue). It feels like I'm having to strip any and all hc personality I gave to certain fandom characters just to create more distance, which sucks.

It gets hurtful after a while, especially considering Geragera has more than just one inspiration... but yeah, a lot of my old stuff got purged and personally archived for my own growth. Truly sorry about that, and for the being a lengthy explanation. Truth be told I also needed a reason to get this off of my chest but I was never prompted until now. For future reference though (and this goes for just about anyone) I would greatly appreciate if you asked permission before making a crosspost sharing my work. There's a good chance I probably would have said no on that one. Anything that remains on this site is either too sentimental to get rid of or still close enough to the source material to stick around.

[animentality]

I was going to unfollow after disagreeing with your opinions on Steven Universe

But your philosophical discussion on how mpreg and omegaverse are the collage girls and milfs of fandom?

That's content I just can't turn down.

Listen, I was around for when mpreg was hot.

Everyone used it as an example of how deranged the internet was. Now omegaverse is the new thing, and people don't really use mpreg anymore.

And you see way less negative reactions to omegaverse vs mpreg. Possibly because mpreg was this infamous creature of the early 2000s, which lurked on fanfiction dot net and other fan sites, this taboo little beast that people only brought up to laugh at.

But omegaverse is classier. It's evolved and matured.

It's no longer the screaming spring break college girl, but the older and wiser mommy who knows what she wants and isn't ashamed of it anymore.

She's a CEO in a sharp pants suit and 6 inch heels and glasses and a scarf that costs 40,000 usd.

I also propose the idea that omegaverse is more trans inclusive than mpreg, because it has a more nuanced understanding of how gender operates in this fanfictional word.

Back in the old days, mpreg was like...men shit babies out their asses.

Not many people really knew what else they could do.

They still wanted the gay sex but didn't understand exactly what they were craving.

I have always felt that "yaoi" and "bl" and m x m pairings all arose from this longing for connection.

See, in the 2000s, whether you watched Naruto or supernatural, you just noticed how female characters were just these... non people.

They were love interests. They were sexy and didn't do much, except get killed off for drama, or they were dutiful lovers, waiting for the main character to finish the plot.

Women gravitated towards gay pairings because first off, many of them are attracted to men, so two guys getting it on had this irresistible sexual draw for them. But also, these two male characters just had this genuine feeling of affection for each other.

They were well written and nuanced and had genuine connections. Women responded to that.

Where there was no compelling canon het relationship, women decided there would be a compelling, almost canon homo relationship.

So that's where boy x boy found a home.

In the hearts of women who wanted romance outside of romance novels, but didn't get compelling heterosexual ones in other media.

But mpreg was a weirder thing, where perhaps you want to impregnate this character...but he's male.

But you don't know how to do that exactly. So you go to this fictional thing...where men shit babies.

But omegaverse is better.

Omegaverse will do you one better.

It'll propose that we can acknowledge...that women can have dicks. Men can have vaginas.

Men and women can have both.

Omegaverse like...transitioned from mpreg!!!

It became gender fluid and gender inclusive.

I have always felt also that saying yaoi is just a straight woman's plaything to be wildly shallow and dismissive.

You know how many nonbinary and trans people who are afab realized they were not women through yaoi???

A thousand million trillion hundred.

Omegaverse is cool to me, ok.

Mpreg was alright, but it was sort of strange just so far as, you don't need to recreate a whole organ when you can just say, yeah. He's a man and he has a vagina.

So what.

Maybe he still has a dick. Maybe he doesn't.

But that's the beautiful thing.

He doesn't need either. He can have both.

A female character can have a big old dick too.

Gender is just...it doesn't matter.

You can prefer anal sex between two characters with penises, or you can prefer vaginal sex between a trans character and a cis one.

You can have two penises, if you want. Three. Four.

Spiked penises.

Doesn't matter.

Omegaverse to me was just like...the next step in fandom evolution.

It brought with it a whole other gendered system that I find interesting.

And fascinating from an anthropological standpoint.

I am pro omegaverse.

Not necessarily what I wank to, but...I like it better than mpreg.

I think it took the best of mpreg and tossed out the problematic side of it.

I think...the kids are alright.

And the girlies are wellfed.

Also on the Steven universe thing...I fully admit, my brain was sort intoxicated by a lily orchard video and another video by some guy.

I've been re watching it and I think I was too harsh.

In retrospect, I still think the pink diamond reveal wasn't well thought out and was an easy cop out...but I still like the series in general.

The music and the visuals and the world itself are fun. It also did way more for gay rep than its haters will admit.

So I admit my brain was seeped in toxic fumes.

But anyway.

Omegaverse.

Good thing.

Classier.

[spiderpussinc]

Like holy shit. Like that Poly-Anon, what the hell are they on?

You never said you hate poly people or open marriages or anything. Are they Mr. Fantastic cuz boi if that wasn’t a STRETCH!

But yeah, sure we can have the poly relationship, hell I read that shit all the time. I even have some sketches of it in progress. But by far my favorite is divorce!Peter.

You get so much more ideas and history with that. Peter dealing with no longer being with someone he loves, learning how to deal with that while getting feeling with Miguel. Maybe he never even liked MJ that way and couldn’t realize that he was gay and only saw her as a friend until recently.

Hell for extra spice and drama, have it so Mayday still exists during the divorce AU. Have Peter trying to figure out how to be a single dad while figuring himself. Maybe Miguel is fighting to understand if he likes Peter that way or if he just sees himself in him.

Divorce is so liberating for people and it can be so with these people. So many ideas can come from it. I don’t know why so many people hate it when we write or draw divorce.

I think the answer is a pretty clear and loud "homophobia" and this recent insistence on progressive circles to paint same-sex attraction as "inherently limiting" or "biased"; which are both absolutely /insane/ takes. You can't be a man and *JUST* like men, that's a waste! That's suspicious! That sounds like an ulterior motive! (Being gay is passe to a certain type of terminally online guy. Real enlightened allies would fuck anyone at any time! Words don't mean anything!!!!!)

People's insistence to read any interest in m/m relationships as a malicious attack designed to prod at *them* in particular is so fucking tiresome. The world does not revolve around you. Nobody has to care for straight ships and it's not revolutionary to try to reinforce them as a holy central aspect in characterization or storytelling. It's not more dignified or substantial. You just think straight people are inherently 'neutral' or pure because they dominate the media field.

My preferences and my gay art exist in a minuscule internet bubble that doesn't endanger or erase the fact that Marvel is a rampantly cishet company. I can do whatever I want and it doesn't matter; they will keep publishing the same thing they've been publishing. But I *HAVE* had my art stolen multiple times now to be reposted on tiktok or resold on etsy with any gay/trans elements I've put on it scrubbed out - to appeal to this very same straight audience -and that pisses me off. I am not trying to cater to these people and never will. I *HAVE* had my gay art used as a point of ridicule against me for years; and tbh it does nothing to me anymore but I refuse to quietly accept this treatment as default.

I don't have to center the experience of M/F nuclear family in my gay art and I won't; it does not appeal to me, I don't care for it, and I cannot be talked into changing my mind. Anyone finding an issue with this should go outside and touch grass.

Evergreen tweet, really:

If i say "i like these two gay dudes, I would like to see them kissing" and you hear something else about someone completely unrelated, that sounds like a skill issue

[redeyesandchilifries]

[ "Sorry, it's like you said! I just don't know when to give up, heh!" Joey jokes, in spite of the fact that he very nearly did give up on this duel.

But... he really doesn't have a whole lot of options. While he was able to have a great second wind, Mai hadn't really lost her lead. Not only is she a stronger Duelist than she used to be, not only is her deck more powerful, but she's so much more ruthless and cunning. Joey was a little surprised he was able to fake her out with Neko Mane King.

I could lose. I could seriously lose. Mai... I have to get through to her! I can't let her do this! C'mon, Heart of the Cards... I need your help to save her. I believe in you, so give me this chance! PLEASE!

As Joey reaches for his next card, his deck begins to glow. Caught off guard, he freezes, staring, and next thing he knows he's encased in a pillar of light. Without warning, he's transported away from Industrial Illusions HQ, floating in a bubble of light. He sees two other light bubbles, and they zip through an impossible world of floating islands, waterfalls, and rainbows. His bubble and one other fly into a castle fitting for this fantasy land.

The bubbles pop, and it's Yugi that's in the castle with him. His friend is... floating? While Joey falls to the floor. "Whoa! Hey, where are we? Where's Mai? Did... Did the duel end...?" Joey scans the area around them. "Uh... We sure ain't in Kansas anymore, eh Yug?"

Yugi explains where they are like he's been here before. Which... he kind of has, hasn't he? The world where Duel Monsters are real and alive. The world where he found and freed Timaeus.

And, Joey realizes, the world where a dragon waits for him. Gargantuan and covered in crystals, an impossible sight that he never could have come across before. Yet, somehow, a sight that is deeply familiar, like running up to the door of an old friend's house.

"Joey, draw the sword."

"Huh!?"

"That's why we're here. The last dragon chose you!"

"M-Me!? Really...?" Well, he literally has no reason to not believe Yugi. So much of their lives are already unbelievable.

After only a moment's hesitation, Joey tightly grips the handle of the blade poking out of the dragon's paw. A wave of energy flows through him.

"Whoa, I heard somethin'! Someone talking? From the sword..."

He tries to pull, but it only cracks the crystals surrounding the blade. Of course it wouldn't be easy; nothing in his life ever has been. So he grabs with both hands and heaves, fighting to pull the blade free. The crystals splinter, crumble, and the sword slips free. As the dragon wakes, light forcing more crystals to shatter, Joey calls out.

"I know your name...! You're... Hermos!"

The dragon, Hermos, bursts free from its crystal prison. Joey has a brief moment to see it free, letting out a triumphant roar, before he blinks and is back inside the I2 HQ, facing down Mai once again.

It's disorienting, to say the least. Was it all a dream? Joey glances back at Yugi. No... No, they really were in the world of Duel Monsters and Nameless Dragons, weren't they? Well. Not so nameless anymore.

The others' shouting snaps him back to reality. Still, he feels electric, like when the sword pulsed its energy through him. "I draw..." He swipes the card free from his deck, somehow already knowing what he's going to see. "The Claw of Hermos! Please, Hermos, lend me your strength!"

I will get through to you, Mai. Me and Hermos, we'll do it together. ]

[levilaughlove]

"Back to Black." Levi Ackerman x Male reader. Lemon // Smut.--- Minors DNI

It was no new news that you and Lynne were dating. In fact, Lynne took it upon herself to publically announce it. It took some others by surprise, even Levi. Hange saw it coming. She saw the little touches here and there.

The eye signals, the horse sheds hugs, and so forth. The news died down, day by day and so did the teasing. What really attracted you initially was Lynne's dominant attitude. It reminded you of Levi.

Lynne was fearless, like Levi. Dominant, like Levi. She sometimes even had that cold gaze. You really liked that. So, why didn't you just date Levi? Well, reason 1, is he's a man and it'd be weird. Reason 2, there is no way he's into you. Many beautiful women wanted him and none succeeded.

What'd make you any different? You and Lynne had been dating for a little over 7 months and you both finally got to the subject of intercourse. You were a submissive male with a dominant female. How would this work?

She could've just ridden you, but, she doesn't like her face from that angle. So, you both settled for her fingering you. She liked it, and so did you. "Lynne...what're you.." You manage to draw out of the discomfort. "Hold on, baby. I'm trying to find your g-spot.." Lynne quickly replied.

Laying limp, you begin to think about how the only true reason you wanted Lynne was to feel closer to the one you denied loving, Levi.

Your eyes gaze across the small opening in the door and look through. Your eyes meet with no other than Levi's. You both look into each other's eyes realizing you've both been caught in an embarrassing act. -Come here- Levi mouthed to you.

-I can't, she's on me.- you mouthed back. You quickly think of an idea to get out of the situation and to Levi. "Lynne." You called. "Yeah, love?" Lynne asked, still focused on your ass. "Can, can we stop this.. I'm a little tired." You asked, sitting up.

Lynne took a minute to reply, just looking you in the face, a little disappointed. "O-of course." she blankly replied, getting up from the bed and walking into the connected bathroom. You took this opportunity to rush out toward Levi. Levi quickly grabbed your wrist and bolted into his office.

The smell of burning wax hit your nose. "Thanks for getting me out of that." You thanked him. "You could've at least pretended like you liked it." "I wasn't much of a drama kid anyway." You snicker as Levi scoffs.

It was silence in the room until Levi broke it. "Was it real?" Levi asked almost whispering. "If I loved her?" You asked. "I think there was someone I wanted, but couldn't have and..." You stopped. "Keep going," Levi demanded. "...And she seemed a lot like them.." You refused to say anymore.

Levi slowly approaches you one hand raising to cup your face. He brings his nose to overlap your own. "who." He sternly asks, dominance radiating from his husky voice. You were getting wet already.

Unconsciously rubbing your thighs together slowly, building up your erection. "Who, M/n, who." He asks once more, pressing a leg between your legs and rubbing your cock. He placed both his arms on each side of your head and pressed your bodies together. You began to slowly become dumbfucked,

''syou..'' you slurred out barley forming a real word. That's all it took to have yourself ass up on his desk, his writing pen penetratingly rolling underneath your dick as he rams into you mercilessly. Each veiny hand of his holding down your smooth ones, Levi brutally sucking on your neck and leaving bruises in your tight hole. Your sweating, drooling, and slobbering all over the flat surface.

Levi stops and does 2 hard and deeps thrusts then continues his abuse on your ass. Your moans are needy and Levi loved that.

Your high builds up and Levi's menacingly fast pace is way too helpful. "Cum..cummin..g" your manage to cry out. "Ah, fuck..me too."

Before you both cum, Levi pulls out and flips you facing him then plunges back in to finish. Levi grabs a handful of your hair and pulls you up to him, "you are fucking mine, damnint." He says before pulling you into a loving kiss, full of tongue. Your cum squirts all over his button-up polo and his in your ass.

You both lay there for a moment. Levi then smacks your ass. "Cmon, up, I gotta clean you up, then, we can sleep." You giggle at his immature action.

Seems like you went from brunette and back to black.

DO NOT FLOPPPP...

[tophattrio]

TOP HAT TRIO ARCHIVES: Part 1

Warden: Look at all this lovely art of us! We could fill a museum! Professor: There's so much it seems like we can't keep up... Once-ler: ..... Y'kno what guys? I'm gonna take a break...

((A small fraction of my old old old trio art, most of which has never seen the light of tumblr (under the cut)! None of this is colored. Some of this is pre-blog or just... REALLY early-era Trio art, so some of it is... dated. Also, as indicated by the top, this is part 1. Meaning there will probably be more, LOL...))

((I hope it's okay if I ramble some fun facts in the middle of this!))

We're gonna start off with this silly lil doodle of the lads! This was drawn during the era where I did my silly crossover drawings, before I mustered the courage to turn them into an askblog.

Based on the date, I must've drawn this next one while I was in the process of actually making the blog... potentially their original "profile" images? Or just a doodle I did to get me hyped...

As you can see, all the drawings so far are pencil and ink... that's because (if I remember correctly) this is when I was VERY new to computer tablets! I felt more confident in my traditional art so I would slap quick colors onto the back of a bunch of ink-drawn replies and make minor adjustments with the tablet. I remember being hesitant to switch to a fully digital style since I felt the sketchiness was almost part of the style of trio? But I've come to accept change is good! Everything post-Greed M!A is all (or mostly) digitally lined (with the occasional trad sketch), but if you look closely at the trio in this (and many other) early-day responses, you can definitely see the pencil marks!

Unposted Thneedville High Trio!!! I was SO obsessed with the Once-ler Askblog AU's back in the Once-ler Fandom's hayday... they were a lot of fun to observe on the side and I wanted to be part of that in my small way, but unfortunately, I was a coward so I never did LOL... I'm thinking this was drawn in February or March 2013...

And, something I drew on the same page, Truffula Flu Trio!!!! I think I briefly thought about making it (and thneedville high) a sideblog but I felt like I couldn't commit for multiple reasons: (1) AU hype was dying down a little, (2) It was a bit too serious a concept for Trio; I wanted to keep them lighthearted and silly (covers bad end with a hand). And (3) I was still doubting whether or not my blog counted as a Once-ler blog (being only 1/3 once-ler) and whether I was valid to participate in events. Eventually I got over that fear when I joined Camp Weehawken and participated in the fandom revival of 2015, but the fear was definitely there at the very beginning and I hesitated to jump in on some stuff because of it!!

These were some of my earliest (unanswered) asks! I think for a while I thought I accidentally deleted the Pinkie Pie one, but it mysteriously came back one day?? I don't plan to finish these but might as well get some closure since I already drew them. I had to look up which troll typing was the one being used here so I might be wrong, I know nothing about homestuck except chapter 1 and 2 and whatever I osmosis from my mutuals LOL...

Peacock was drawn before I knew anything about Skullgirls...... within the past few years I recently watched her gameplay/storyline! She's defs a fun character. Trio are probs neutral about her. I'm not confident enough to do anything major with her, but I would love to cameo her more!

I got a few asks / M!A's about genderbent versions of the trio back in early 2013 and these were my doodles for that. The designs were based off of different designs floating around tumblr at the time that I liked. I'm not interested in doing this M!A anymore, but the dresses are cute!

Some glasses shenanigans I never posted for some reason?? (For reference: (1) (2) (3) (4).) It's silly stuff like this that make me realize Trio!Professor is a little bit like "Cheerful Mystery" Professor but like... waaaaay more tame HAHA (I never read the manga back then because I was upset they made Layton OOC, but from what I've seen he's... a lot more chaotic there). Which, ykno, good chance explains why Trio!Professor stays sane around Once-ler and Warden and their wacky selves.

Some wardlers and layclaires!! Also a few super old things I doodled out for Lovestruck M!A part 2 (including warden being a perv and oncie being flustered and confused, LMAO) but... idk if I have the energy to commit to it at the moment... partially bc thinking about getting an influx of shippy-type asks gets me overwhelmed and idk if I can commit to another magic anon all my magic anons manage to kill the blog somehow 😭, but ykno... saving the anons in my inbox in case I change my mind... Love these guys dearly regardless,,, <3

Some doodles of Layton and his rivals!! I think someone sent a small "Descole takes over the blog" M!A (hence the itty bitty chibi head LMAOO) but (again) I don't have the energy to commit to anything but vanilla THT right now. I still thought the idea was fun enough to draw out and anticipate in advance! If I change my mind y'all will know about it...

My first drawing of Wilson from Don't Starve!! I didn't even play Don't Starve at the time, but I wanted to do research if I was going to properly execute the magic anon and I fell in love with him immediately. Unfortunately he (and his game) became my new brainrot and I still feel really bad about that LAUGHS, but hey! Was worth it! Maybe someday I'll redo trio mods for DST...

I may have him cameo again, but potentially after his character update in Don't Starve Together eventually drops, of course, :3 chants give us lore lore loRE LORE-

Aaaaaand that's all I'm gonna show for now... until next time everyone!

PART 1 (you are here!) || PART 2 (TBA) || PART 3 (TBA) || …

[hangezoeenthusiast]

well hello anyone who is actually on tumblr and hasnt forgotten about me. ive been offline for a year or so, had personal issues in my life, and also started high school so i wanted to focus on that. life update:

- im in 10th grade now :)) high school isnt that bad and there actually isnt as much fights as there was in past years. also im in a lot of advanced classes now

- i got new friends, and dumped my old ones(they were toxic)

- got into some new fandoms(call of duty, genshin[sorta i barely tolerate some people, I just try to play the game without interacting with the fandom], tmnt[i’ve always loved it], and others that I can't rlly think about rn

- got my working permit today :D after new years I'm gonna look for a job

- well I figured out I'm trans now (f-t-m), after years of question my gender and making excuses, I'm also pansexual :)

- the name I want my legal name to be is kaisen(kai is just a nickname and I dont use j anymore)

- body image stuff, sucks to suck but I'm trying everyday, slowly

- i actually have a girlfriend, we have been together for 3 months, and known each other for around 1 or 2 years. We are long distance(she lives in another country), time zones suck, but we make it work. We also met on genshin, so i guess i owe the game for that.

- im teaching myself how to draw, and also have been reading a lot of books lately

- family life isnt the best, im not gonna elaborate, but i just try to ignore it

it seems like a dream with how i acted a year ago. i seemed way more immature than what i do act now. i was so innocent i guess you could say, and i guess you could also say that i was just figuring myself out. and as im sitting in my bed, listening to The Neighborhood, im reminiscing. i do miss the friends that i had before i dropped them, and i really wish that i didnt push everyone away whenever i was in a depressive episode, but its the past. if i cant get over the past i’ll never be able to move on into the future. im just so glad that past me could get that experience of exploring themselves and meeting new people. also i was very very cringey i realize now, i feel like i was acting a sort of way to get recognition from people.

well anyways i dont think i’ll be writing anything anytime soon, i dont feel the passion i used to back then. maybe someday, but not today, and not the next. also thank you for 300 followers, that might not seem alot compared to other people, but it is for me. also thank you for all the support with the dsmp stuff even tho i stopped writing about them. i rlly didnt expect my stuff to blow up like that :))

well signing off:

kaisen(kai), have a fantastic day/night 😊

(ps: ive never deleted tumblr, and i was reading fanfics on here, i just was being lazy and didnt feel like responding to messages and updating my profile 😉 so to all the people who commented on my posts, i wasnt ignoring u, im too tired and my brain cells are the equivalent of 1 at the moment, but i’ll try to respond)

[sentryworm]

Hey Kad, we don't really know one another and that's absolutely fine! I just wanted to pop in here and tell you that you've always inspired me to draw art and I'm cautiously attempting digital now after some odd years of traditionalism,,, I only really say this because due to like 4 of those years I never realized I followed you as well during those years... I might not really ever post my art [M-Maybe in the future and I'll tag you!...] but you really do truly spark the heart of creativity throughout your pieces from coloring to posing and I just wanted to thank you personally for that.

Sorry for being on anon if you don't want to publish this however I'm just too shy !!! ♡

BRO....

THIS IS SO SWEET??? Thank you anon. It warms my heart I am able to inspire you!! It always shocks me when I get these messages about people feeling inspired from seeing my work. Like most artists I don't view my work too greatly and feel it's bland, so its really nice to hear that someone enjoys it so much.

IDK if this will provide additional inspiration but my 3 biggest art inspos that have helped me develop my art are squeedge (squeedgemonster / squeedgeart) , andrew hussie (see his old comics like whistles and neon icecream headache), and guttertongue!

It's great to hear you're attempting digital art. Traditional is really difficult and I'm proud of u doing that for so long! I can't comfortably draw traditionally anymore because it hurts my wrist too much.

Also do please post your art when you're ready! ♥

[larabiatasstuff]

When kk3 hears that John has to go back to Vietnam for one last job he wouldn`t be much concerned. But when he visits him he notices right away that something's wrong. John looks tired, and he acts cold. He just opens the door and goes straight into the living room. Terry walks into the kitchen and sees his goddaughter drawing "Hey sweetie what's wrong?" she'd look up at him with tears in her eyes. "No nothing really." "Don't lie to uncle Terry sweetie, tell my why are you sad?" She takes a deep breath "Daddy yelled at me. He's yelling at me very often lately. He is not sleeping and he doesn't cuddle and read me stories anymore." He'd pull her in his arms stroking her hair."Oh sweetie come here. How about you go to your room pack a few things and we're having a sleepover at uncle Terrys house?" she'd look at him with a serious look on her face. "But what about daddy?" "I'm talking with daddy okay? Everything will be fine again okay?" she'd nod and go to her room. Terry would go to the living room where John watches tv with an empty look. "Johnny we have to talk." "About what?" he says without looking at him. "About your bevavior. You've changed Johnny, you're obviously not sleeping and randomly yelling at your daughter." John huffs "Terry I'm fine okay. And she just got on my nerves, she was so loud all the time constantly asking daddy here, daddy there. It's exhausting." Terry would raise his voice "She's your daughter John, she needs you, she needs her daddy. You need help, professional help." John would stand up, he'd be furious. "Do I Terry? I can handle it, I'm not as weak as you." That would hit him right in his heart. "Oh thanks for reminding me John, I almost forgot. If you just came back to hurt everyone who loves you, fine. But I will not let you take that out on your daughter." That's when John realizes that Terry's right. "I'm sorry Terry,it didn't go as planned and the things I had to do are haunting me in my dreams. I can't do that alone, I wanna be a good friend and a good dad." Terry would hug his friend tightly "Hey there's no shame in asking for help. You're still strong but you have to do something, for your daughter Johnny. And I'll help you okay?" John would look at him with tears in his eyes "Thank you Terry you're a real friend." When old man Terry hears about John going back to Vietnam, he'd try to talk him out of that. But John is stubborn and would go anyway. When John visits him with his daughter Terry knows something is off. "Hey honey, what's up. Why are you so sad?" before she can answer John would step in. "She's being a little dramatic lately." Terry would look at his friend with a concerned look. "John calm down, she's a child. What's wrong with you?" then there would be a loud smashing sound.The little girl tripped and a big vase crashed on the floor. "What did I tell you about being careful? Can you just listen to me once? Sometimes I wish…" but Terry wouldn't let him finish "Don't you dare say something like that to your daughter John." He'd turn to the little girl who stands there with tears in her eyes. "Hey baby,it's okay, how about you go upstairs in my bedroom and watch some cartoons while I have word with your daddy okay?" she'd nod and go upstairs. "She's got you wrapped around her finger Terry. I'll pay for your vase ." "Fuck that damn vase John what in the world is wrong with you? You're not the same person anymore, you need help John." John would grab Terry by the collar "I' m not a coward like you Terry. I don't need anybody." that would hit him like a knife in his heart "Wow, I was wondering when you'd rub that in my face again. But be sure that if you're not getting help, I'll do anything to get your daughter away from you and you know damn well that I can do that." That would be the moment John realizes that he really needs help." Terry it was hell over there. I can't forget the things I've seen. I… Maybe I really need help. " Terry would hug his friend" We'll go through that together okay? Everything will be fine again. "" Thank you Terry, I really appreciate that. "

[sevicia]

blondie&glasses with ❤️🍀🧠✏️ / mary with ❤️🧊🌂🎹

OMG YAYYYYY!!! Mary is answered separate from Those Two cause they don't even know each other... she'd be like "why can't they just hold hands or something?"

❤️ - What is one of your OC’s best memories?

I think I wrote a more descriptive version of it somewhere before cause it's #important but it's pretty much the night she kills her ex-fiancé and absorbs The Creature. Which is extremely vague I just realized... quick rundown: everyone but her wants her to get married -> camping trip with the guy -> go in the dark (forest.) -> "I can make you into an angel (flesh thing) fr" -> sure -> kills him badly. AND THE CROWD (me) GOES WILD

🧊 - Is their current design the first one?

NOOOO but it IS very similar... her 1st design was for something entirely different that involved her being super plain (also the reason her name's Mary)(DVD normal name). Then I just kinda made her messier and creepier.... KYA...... Though I haven't drawn her super creepy just yet u.u

🌂 - What genre do they belong in?

Horror and romance but the second one has a huge NEVER TRY THIS AT HOME asterisk. She shares her story with Agnes and they have cute moments Because I'm Crazy but ultimately it's just not a good healthy relationship at all due to women's wrongs, which I support, slash joking

🎹 - Do they have any hobbies?

Writinggg x) !! She gets into it after "meeting" Agnes (one-sided meeting. He did NOT fucking know her for a while) since he also writes "as a hobby" (me when I lie) and posts it online. She starts out by completing his unfinished stories or making alternate scenes, and eventually writes short stories of her own.

She also paints but that's also her major at uni so not really a hobby anymore... her paintings Have changed drastically post-creature absorption though x)

I put my other answers under da cut I never stfu #SORRY m(_ _)m

❤️ - What is one of your OC’s best memories?

Blondie: He is one of the most miserable little men to ever live but he does think fondly of his freshman year in highschool due to that being the year he was sure he had an actual friend for the first time ever. He has fond memories of hanging out at the park or the mall with her, talking about nothing in particular. Though he avoids thinking about her because it just hurts him in the end </3

Glasses: He has a very... hedonistic lifestyle to say the least, so it'd be hard for him to single out a moment in particular. His most euphoric moment though, is when he buried a body for the first time and went to school the next morning like nothing happened. Feeling invincible lasted for a bit, but he wouldn't do it again for quite some time.

🍀 - What originally inspired the OC?

Blondie: Weirdly enough I came up with him after Glasses. Basically I went "who the hell is holding the camera here???"

Glasses: Pipeline moment AUGH here we go. I listened to Ouija by Harley Poe on loop a bunch some time ago and really liked the concept of someone willingly inviting a spirit into their body in order to commit violent acts guilt-free (like first seat autopilot style ykwim). This gave way to an ENTIRELY different story and characters, in which I asked myself "who's even gonna possess this guy!?", and was trying to come up with some distant character that did very bad no good things. Around the same time I was doodling ideas like crazy and liked some stuff for a drawing of what was Basically a snuff scene. That's when I made someone up to hold the camera and when I thought to connect both stories, otherwise neither Glasses nor Blondie would be characters at all. Funnily enough the original Ouija-inspired story is not very developed at all, and I decided to cut it off ESH Diversity Loss (what Glasses and Blondie's folder is called in my drive) completely LOL<///3

🧠 - What do you like most about the OC?

This is kind of a difficult question to answer cause honestly I don't even like my OCs as people I think some of them just suck really badly. But I do like them as characters and things to write/think about x)

Blondie: I like that he could very easily be Fixed if he just like, had friends that actually liked him. He really didn't get socialized as a puppy now he's dependent on some fucking guy that views him as a limited edition snack and won't let go of him until he HAS to. Oh poor thang</3

Glasses: His hubris. ❤️

✏️ - How often do you draw/write about the OC?

Honestly my OC bouts come and go but I've got a lot more on them than I ever thought I would. Somehow they're the only story I have a rough outline for ??? ending planned out and everything. I don't draw them much though.... which means their designs will Very Likely change a lot by the time I get to do their thingy.

[kaiticn]

fire starter

There are things that I've kept from C for a very long time, and I never truly understood why that was -- only what it was not: it was not an act of pining for my first relationship; it was not because I missed him; it was not out of love (at least, not anymore).

I held onto some photos, some token notes and drawings, some letters and a handmade rose in a glass vile. I sort through them on occasion, but most recently with the intention to let go.

For the most part, I managed. Although I kept the flower, a love letter, and the final letter: an apology. I realize now the way that, in succession, each represents the beginning, the middle and the end. Interesting.

I had a moment of transparency with M in the day following, disclosing the things I chose to hold onto. He did not condemn nor criticize: with his usual temperament and unconditional curiosity, he only asked why. At first, I told him that I didn't know -- my usual response for the moments I need to buy myself some time to assess causal roots.

I made sense of it all somewhere between Finch & St Patrick.

I realized:

I either have the memories without tangible evidence of it, or what few tokens I have saved are no longer assigned to present company. Regardless, I don't have much to look back on or assurance that I existed prior to where I am right now.

I told M that, without assuring myself of a past, I feel like I am free floating. He asked what was wrong with that. I said it feels really, very lonely.

Then I cried on the subway.

. . .

I've cried about it before, too, in different settings, without entirely understanding what the feeling was.

It's the reason why I'm emotionally overwhelmed when M invites me into a rabbit hole of his endless group photos. It's the reason why I feel a pit in my stomach when his family reminisces over warm childhood memories. It's the reason why I feel a twinge of envy when knowing that, within a moment's notice, he could have any of his friends at his doorstep.

It's because of loneliness. It's because I am a very sad and lonely person. Chronic anxiety; chronic loneliness; chronic yearning for people who share my likeness and abundant memories, equipped with the evidence that it happened.

But my most recent photos with friends come from high school, none after. Stories of my childhood are not at my disposal. I can't think of anyone besides M who would be willing or able to show up within the same day of asking. Besides, he is my emergency contact.

. . .

I decided that what I thought was keeping me grounded was only holding me down. I realized the blatant hypocrisy in being the one who abandons everything but still holds them on a leash; far enough to claim distance yet still within reach for comfort's sake.

I put blockades on either end of a deteriorating bridge rather than burning it and starting anew. That's some real underfunded municipality type behaviour. But I am no GTA -- I am reflective. I am efficient. I am radical.

. . .

It's time to burn some shit

[fallen-arm]

Earlier, I made an untagged post on my main about Noah's character after chapter 5 and the beginning of 6, and was surprised it got a few likes and reblogs from people who don't follow me. If there's actually demand for Noah character analysis I can do much better, so here's a longer analysis of Noah's story up to the beginning of chapter 6!

Spoilers below the cut, obviously. Also, please note that I haven't played much more than the beginning of chapter 6, so please no spoilers for the rest of the game!

In my original post, I said that Noah has the potential to be a selfish person. Here I'll take it one step further and say that Noah is a selfish person, it's literally his fatal flaw in N's case. He would rather give in and stop fighting for a better world to accept the world as it is if he can live a comfortable life with M, even if it means hurting other people and M herself. This is what Z calls the endless now.

Like N, Noah hates to fight, it's his natural instinct to avoid fighting, to surrender to the path of least resistance. The first time you really see this flaw is during the flashback where he got lucky seven from Riku. Noah lies to others about not being able to summon his weapons to avoid fighting. Riku calls Noah out by accusing him of wanting his friends to die, the natural outcome of rolling over and accepting what's coming at them rather than fighting back. Even after Riku gives Noah lucky seven, he still refuses to draw it in battle, he's letting it sit in its scabbard, not fighting with the full extent of his power.

The first time Noah uses lucky seven, to cut colony 4's flame clock, is a deeply significant moment for Noah's character. It represents the first time Noah's truly chosen to fight back. I don't think it's a coincidence that Noah uses it to destroy the flame clocks. Clocks display the present, the now, by destroying one with lucky seven Noah is metaphorically cleaving through the endless now, choosing to fight over rolling over and accepting Moebius's present.

Even after this moment, and after Noah starts to use lucky seven to cut through other colonies flame clocks, he's not really giving it his all. If he uses lucky seven, it's just briefly pulling it from its scabbard for an attack or to slice a clock. It's an improvement over not using it at all, but it shows that Noah is still holding back.

Another aspect of Noah's character that indicates his selfish nature is his relationship with death. Noah says that the reason he became an offseer was because he had to know the meaning of the smile he had seen on multiple people as they died. Noah thinks it's a smile of pity, because they get to move on, to leave behind the violence and chaos of the world and stop fighting, while he and everyone else are left behind living. Noah's desire to not have to fight anymore is so strong that he can't help but project it onto Crys, onto Joran, completely missing the real point of their smiles.

Both of these negative traits of Noah's born from his selfish desire to take an easy way out of fighting come to a head at castle Agnus. Noah makes the choice to fight and entrust the future to the ouroboros candidates if they don't make it, a decision that really shows his growth up to that point, but he still won't give it his all. He still won't wield lucky seven to its fullest potential, he still holds back in battle. And for that, he loses to N. The party are imprisoned, can no longer summon their blades, and Noah tries with all his physical strength to break out of the prison. But he doesn't once try to call on lucky seven, something Riku points out on the day of the execution. Noah's lack of conviction to fight, his refusal to truly give his all, is what results in Mio's (or rather, M's) death.

Only after her death and smile does Noah realize what the smile really meant. He finally realizes that it's not pity, it's them pinning their hopes, their dreams for the future on him. In this moment, Noah is once again offered the choice, to give into the endless now, as he's been doing on some level the entire story, or to draw his blade and fight. And, for the first time in the game Noah chooses with all his conviction to fight. He quite literally draws his blade and uses it to cut a better future instead of the endless now.

Noah is the last main party member to truly find their conviction, the entire story up to this point has focused on the rest of the party finding their own reasons to fight. But when he does, it allows him to become far greater than N. For the first time Noah is fighting with all his strength for a world better than the endless now that has tempted him for so long.