#i may have a thing for sleeping eruris

[lostcauses-noregrets]

What are your eruri headcannons? Modern au or cannon—or both! Doesn’t matter!

I have 8 years worth of headcanons and ficlets posted on AO3 here: Skin on Skin. There's 54 chapters here of canonverse and modern AUs, some of them are short, sweet and smutty, others are painfully angsty. Hopefully there's something here for everyone! Here's a little taste of some of them...

Skin on skin

Sometimes, when Levi cannot sleep at night and needs to feel the warmth of another body, he makes his way to Erwin’s quarters, undresses, climbs silently into bed beside him and curls against his back, arm around his waist. He’s always cold and his chin digs into his back but Erwin says nothing, just clasps his hand and pulls him closer, because it’s everything just to have him there.

Smooth

From this distance, the distance from the bed to the mirror, Erwin looks entirely hairless; smooth and flawless like the marble statues Levi once saw in the halls of Mitras. As he lies in the Commander’s bed and idly watches his morning ablutions, Levi quietly envies and adores his flawless perfection. But he knows that as Erwin turns, just so, the light will catch the fine strands of gold that dust his arms, his thighs, the darker blonde scattered across his chest, the thick trail tracing down his belly to the dense tight curls where Levi loves to drag his fingers and press his lips.

Sleeping on a Clothes Line

Headcancon that although Levi can barely sleep longer than an hour or two at a stretch, he has the ability to put himself to sleep at will, anywhere, at anytime. The Survey Corps members become used to finding him folded up in odd chairs and corners around headquarters. They joke that the Captain could sleep on a clothesline, but no one ever dares wake him. Like a cat, he has his favoured spots; a bench in the mess hall when it’s quiet, the chair in Erwin’s office, the space in Erwin’s bed.

It takes Erwin years to coax Levi into spending an entire night in a bed, and even now, years after the war, he still wakes sometimes to find their bed empty. Padding through to the kitchen he finds Levi curled up on the old couch by the window overlooking the ocean, empty tea cup by his side. Erwin settles beside him, draping his arm over his shoulders and pulling him close, careful not to disturb him. He sits quiet, content, Levi sleeping by his side and watches as the sun rises over the sea.

Warmth

Headcanon that when Erwin gets out of bed first, Levi rolls over into the warmth left by his body and presses his face into the pillow to breathe in his heat.

The absence of Erwin’s warmth in his life is one of the things he misses most.

Tea, Lee

Levi wakes early and, unlike Erwin, is not one to lie in bed. Unless his mind is on “other things”, he chafes and fidgets. He refuses to admit it, but he craves tea when he wakes, the same way that Erwin needs the kick start of coffee late in the afternoon. So Erwin has learned from long experience that the only way to keep Levi in bed is to bring the tea to him. As soon as Levi shifts and wakes beside him Erwin stumbles out of bed and into the kitchen. After years of practice, he has almost perfected the art of making tea without fully opening his eyes. He shuffles back through to the bedroom while Levi is still yawning and stretching and places the cup on the bedside table.

“Tea, Lee.”

Then he slides back under the covers, grateful to return to the warm cocoon of their bed, curling around Levi’s hip as he sits up to drink his tea. Erwin drifts off to sleep again with Levi’s hand tangling in his hair.

(I also have a list of nsfw headcanons with fics attached 😏)

[smallblip]

i hate you . why must you make me cry AGAIN from 4-5 AM in the morning. is this our yearly ritual. i cannot stop singing praises of how great you write . it sounds like prose, like honey dipped in butter, it reminds me of lana but better . your every reiteration / reincarnation of that 132 scene (+ the sexy sad eruri) is more painful than the last . PLEASE STOP (don't ever stop). you write so TERRIBLY PAINFUL and visceral you wound me for days !!!! i will literally not be thinking of anything else except the newfound hurt you've given me!!! i thought we've explored every inch of angst these past 3 years but NO. everytime you make me discover something new to be sad about. was RIP paradise and i see rivers not enough???? why was it so deliciously angsty and ephemeral. you have forever changed my life and because of you i cannot read books anymore 😭😭 may your days always be blessed, smallblip

Levi wants to reach over and tuck the loose strands of hair behind her ear. Later. He tells himself. Next time. 

LEVI LISTEN TO ME THERE'S NO NEXT TIME. DO IT NOW

And yet, his heart flutters at the unfamiliar feeling of being someone’s favourite. Like the taste of something that agrees with your system so wholly they form a pact- you will always, always, always come first. 

you've deliciously encapsulated what's so magical about their dynamic, oh my god

After all, an Ackermgan always, always seeks out what’s his. And with Hanji, he knows he’ll never search again. 

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS. liquid tears rolled down my cheeks that I've been trying to stop, i hate you so much, i am utterly wretched and irreperable

I'm sorry for the long comment, but you are a gift to this world. You must know how much I cherish your writing, thank you so much I'm going to cry myself to sleep now

OMG EXCUSE ME ANYAREIN! I LOVE YOUR ART WTF! 😭💖 you are a gift to this world!

And please please please don’t apologise for your comment! It made my *year* seriously I’m on my knees at the Lana comment because!!!! I’m so so happy you enjoyed hehe☹️💖 you quoting my fic back to me made me die😭 I am also happy you enjoyed sad sexy eruri! Sad and sexy is what I aim for… always…

I don’t know what I did to deserve this comment but I’m dying! I cannot get through reading this without screaming. Also I’m sorry the reply took so long! I had this in my inbox and I wanted the reply to be perfect coz this was the sweetest thing and I don’t think I could ever do it justice! 😭

[randomfandomdrabbles]

Levihan Headcanons

Eruri was first, now I get to give something to my fellow Levihan shippers and Hanji lovers

Hanji is almost always shown around Levi, this is canon. Let’s say she started constantly staying close to him after Farlan and Isabel died because she didn’t want him to feel so suddenly alone

He would tell her to get lost and that she was annoying him but she just stuck around because she was sure that, deep down, he appreciated her attempts. Or, he began to appreciate it later on

They became best friends first, often sharing late night conversations over tea or whiskey, before any romance began

In fact, Hanji was the first person to hear a story from Levi’s childhood. She had to pry a story out of him, but she got one eventually. She also has no idea if his story was true or if he made it up just to get her to stop asking, but she’s glad she got something

You know that giddy feeling you get when a crush begins to grow and that person rests their head on your shoulder? That’s the feeling Levi started to get when Hanji would walk into the room and say hi to him in such an enthusiastic tone

And Hanji would get that feeling when he’d bring her tea or coffee in the late hours of the night while she was in her office/lab

When their relationship first starts, neither of them confirm or deny it to people who ask. They just simple move the conversation away from that because they didn’t know how exactly to describe it

After a while, though, Hanji became more open about calling him her boyfriend. Like I said in the Eruri headcanon set, I still think Levi wouldn’t say they were dating or not dating but you would definitely be able to tell that you shouldn’t hit on either of them.

Hanji would be the best at taking care of Levi when he’s sick and I can actually see her dragging him off to bed the same way he drags her into a bath.

One time, he had a bad cold and a fever (like an actual cold, not COVID that dumbasses wanna call a cold) and Hanji forced him to bed before he completely felt terrible. After he napped, she came back to his room and asked if he wanted potato soup that she made and he just nodded before falling back to sleep. She woke him up and sat with him while he ate.

When Hanji’s sick, I’d hate to say it, but Levi isn’t the best. He’s caring about his sick soldiers and his sick lover, but he is not very sensitive. He’s constantly washing his hands, disinfecting everything, staying far enough away to feel safe but providing everything they need when they need it

Sometimes after she’s forced into a bath and cleaned, often at night, Levi braids Hanji’s hair before putting her to bed

Hanji and Levi go to each other for emotional support but, if they can’t go to each other, they have someone else. Most of the time, however, they go to each other and talk because they can find ways to amuse each other

Plus Hanji tends to go off on tangents and Levi is pretty much one of the few people who will sit through the tangents and babbling and listen all the way through it

Hanji is always fascinated about Levi’s past and often tried to get stories out of him or for him to at least explain some politics and cultural rules that may be different. So far, she’s only learned a couple things in the years she’s known him, but she doesn’t mind because she’s getting to know little things about him

****SPOILER for chapter 132(?)**** Lets say Hanji didn’t die: I can see her coming back when Levi didn’t believe she would and he would feel so much joy and relief that he’d get himself up long enough to meet her halfway and her catching him. She’d tell him to relax and that “of course I came back,” as if there wasn’t a huge possibility for the opposite. He would give her a tight hug

When Farlan and Isabel died, Hanji walked into the mess hall one night to find Levi alone, drinking tea all somber and shit. She sat right beside him and kept asking him if he was okay, like really are you alright, you can tell me. She kept pressing so much that Levi shouted at her to leave him alone with tears in his eyes (Oh can you imagine Levi getting so angry and emotional after a hard mission and having angry tears?) 

She would sit and wait very patiently for Levi to talk to her because he realizes he can’t scare her away from him because she knows he’s lashing out out of sadness and loss than real anger towards her

Her favorite date to take Levi on is to this cute little café in the corner of town and buying pastries he’s never had so they can try them together

His favorite date to take Hanji on is to a nice place for dinner. He doesn’t like to force Hanji to look differently because he doesn’t care what she looks like, but he will never complain when they have a rare night off and go to a nice restaurant; Hanji shows up in a nicer outfit and it leave Levi drooling over her all night

Now, to end it with a little NSFW, Hanji would totally be the type to either peg Levi or take total control over him

[bipabrena]

Because We’re Family (Kenny-Levi centred Eruri fic) Ch15

A fic where the story of Attack on Titan is rewritten from the start. Kenny regretted abandoning Levi and stepped up as a parent, eventually adopting him as his own. He, Levi and Erwin are the protagonists. One day, Erwin mistakenly comes across Kenny, the one ghost of his past, and blackmails him and Levi into joining the Survey Corps. From that point forward, it’ll be Kenny and Levi in the regiment (many subplots occur), until the 104th is introduced and all the arcs will be re-written. Kenny is the key in changing everything. Main pairing is slow-burn Eruri, Warriors and Marley are relevant from early on, Kenny will be a father figure to Bertl and Reiner, Isabel and Furlan are relevant. Give it a chance. Read it here. 

 X

“And it was so crazy!” Hange used her hands to illustrate her point. “I only did it out of anger, but when it happened… when I felt just how light it was. I mean, we’re talking about a three metre’s head! And it weighed nothing at all! I kicked it around so easily.”

Levi took a very deep, silent breath as he looked ahead at the plains. His eyes were sunken.

A little unsettling, but Hange did not let it deter her.

“It truly goes to show how little we know of titans. How can they be so lightweight? And it’s not just that. Their body structure and power source is mysterious, you could even argue they violate the laws of science. For instance, how can they spontaneously generate energy and mass when missing limbs? Why do they disintegrate when dead and why and how do they generate so much heat? Furthermore, they’re not active at night. Do you want to know what my theory for this is?”

Levi had no physical or verbal response.

“Since they’re so active throughout the day and have such a high body temperature, they require massive intakes of energy to fuel themselves. It’s likely that, just like us, they require to sleep and they choose to do so at night. But here’s the catch: they don’t need to eat. If they did, they’d be practically extinct since they wouldn’t have enough of a food source to sustain themselves. Now, you may ask, how is it that—”

“Hange,” Levi called, “aren’t you supposed to be with the mining team?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah,” she smiled, “but the iceburst stones are still being compressed. I have plenty of free time.”

“I don’t think you understand,” Levi’s tone of voice changed completely, and it was enough to snap Hange out of it. It was guttural, firm. His head slowly turned to her, and his eyes were widened. His pupils were shrunken, and devoid of light. His eyes darkened further. “You’re supposed to be with the mining team. I’m patrolling, Hange. Should you not go back to your post?”

Hange’s eyes were wide open, as was her mouth. She felt a bead of sweat form on her cheek.

Now that shit was terrifying.

“Um… hehe,” she giggled with a nervous frown, and she slowly backed away. “You’re right. I’ll go see if Moblit needs any help.”

She turned and calmly walked away, but when there was considerable distance, she made a run for it.

Levi sighed, expression going back to normal. He looked ahead at the plains again. He wondered where Kenny was, how he was doing.

It made him nervous that he was with Erwin, Flagon and Mike alone.

The three had been in the Underground.

They had reason to dislike Kenny, to have something personal against him. Were they doing anything to him? What if they encountered a horde and it was all a ploy to throw him into it and have him be eaten alive?

When Levi considered this, he gasped.

No, he was being ridiculous.

But…

Kenny had been very lenient and respectful of them despite their encounter. It was clear he didn’t hate them, unlike Levi.

So, what if they ran into trouble and Kenny risked his life for them?

No, he had to stop his wandering mind.

He had to trust Kenny.

Kenny said that if anything happened, he’d remember. He’d remember Levi loves him, that he was his family, and he had a reason to not risk himself thoughtlessly.

He had to trust his strength, and that he could handle himself.

Levi breathed in and out several times, then calmed down.

He elected to stop thinking about Kenny, and instead thought of his friends. Of Frieda. Of Guinne and Moritz.

He remembered when he’d first met Frieda and Urklyn. Their growing friendship. He remembered all the silly playing, the jokes, the laughing. The two of them had been so patient, so understanding of Levi and his total lack of social skills. Levi smiled slightly as he acknowledged he loved them deeply. Both of them.

He’ll go back to them one day. They’ll play together in the Estate again. They’ll be a trio of friends once more, and no one will get in the way of that.

Maybe one day, if the stars aligned, he may even be able to marry Frieda.

X

There had only been four titans. One six metre, an eight metre, an eleven metre and a thirteen metre.

They were dispersed and easy to dispose of.

With a spinning roll, Kenny amputated the last titan’s extremities in an X formation. Right arm, left leg, right leg, left arm. The titan fell face-first to the ground, biting its tongue in the process.

Kenny landed on one knee. He looked down, freezing for a few seconds. He then stood up, head always down. His eyes were shadowed.

He then rose his head, and he looked at the titan with sad, half-lidded eyes.

“… Hey, you,” he said as he walked towards it. The titan tried moving as best as it could.

Kenny ignored its movements. He observed it flay around and trying to raise its head, to try to bite Kenny, he presumed. But it was unsuccessful, and it seemed the titan gave up, even if for a moment.

Kenny slowly brought his arm up. He then reached out to the titan, until his palm pressed against its forehead.

The titan was completely calm as steam emanated from its amputated extremities.

It tried crawling, but it was futile. It seemed to groan in desperation.

“Never in a million years did I figure I’d feel sorry for one of ya…” Kenny mumbled. “I mean, just look at you. Those big eyes, that stupid smile some of ya have. But now…” his eyes narrowed in distress.

He knelt with a sharp inhale, his cape flowing down from the movement.

“Just… who are you?” he asked.

He briefly wondered whether this titan ever had a family of its own.

A child, perhaps.

“Just who is it… that is trapped inside you?” he stroked the titan’s forehead.

A decade back, Kenny wouldn’t have given less of a shit about whether titans were humans or not. He would’ve cut this thing before him mercilessly, laughed at it, then continued his merry way.

But now…

Ever since Levi’s love saved him, how could he?

Ever since he and Uri, ever since Urklyn and Frieda helped him become human, compassionate—how could he?

Now that he knew what it was like to cherish someone, to have a place to call home, how could he not care?

Who even knew if the small six metre he killed before had been a child once?

A child like his own?

Kenny sighed sadly as he continued stroking the titan. He closed his eyes with an inhale. He then jumped back, doubling the distance between him and the titan; avoiding its now regenerated hand. The titan stood.

He held his blades again, the left one with his reverse grip.

“I’ll put you out of your misery,” he said. “Let me end this for you.”

He jumped with a dose of gas, and the grip on his blade tightened as he went on the attack.

Why… he thought as the right arm and left leg were sent flying. Why can’t I do it?

He cut off the remaining extremities, and he landed swiftly on the ground.

He turned to look at the titan with an uncomfortable frown.

Why?

Why can’t he do it?

He already killed plenty minutes prior. Why was this one any different?

Was it… because he was alone?

He pressed his hand against the titan’s forehead again. “If only you could talk,” he mumbled. “If only you could tell me… who it is that has sent you here. Why you’re being turned into… this.”

It was then he perked up at the sound of hooves.

“Kenny!” Erwin yelled. “What are you doing!?”

Mike and Flagon, who rode to Erwin’s side, were confused when seeing the way Kenny had been stroking the titan’s head.

Kenny looked back at them, mouth open in a small “a.”

“Why haven’t you killed it?” Erwin creased his brows. “We have no time to fool around.”

They noticed the eight disintegrating extremities.

“Why have you amputated it instead of killing it?” Flagon asked, frowning in confusion.

Kenny calmly jumped on the titan’s head, then headed to its back. In one move, he sliced the nape open. The blood spurted on him, and Kenny’s lids dropped in an unspoken emotion.

He jumped off the titan and hopped on his horse.

“… You must’ve taken these down pretty fast,” Mike commented. “Why did you hang around with that one?”

“Nevermind that,” Kenny said. “What did ya find? Was it a horde?”

“We managed to lure eleven of them,” Erwin said. “We took them down, but there’s still about another twelve, some of which we’re sure are abnormals. We could use your help. If we take them all down, we could scout even more than initially anticipated.”

Kenny nodded.

They headed to the forest. Erwin and Flagon rode past it and successfully drew the titans’ attention, then lured them back to the forest. They moved in a straight line once inside, and that’s when Kenny and Mike rained down.

In one burst of gas, Kenny took down three.

It had made Mike stop in surprise for a second, but he quickly recovered. He took down two.

There were three abnormals and four mindless titans remaining. The abnormals chased after Erwin and Flagon. Kenny executed a turn as he drew forth his bloodied blades, the left one with his reverse grip. He crossed paths with Mike, his sights on the abnormals while Mike handled the other four.

Erwin and Flagon scrambled in opposite directions to make the abnormals hesitate for a moment.

It was enough time for Kenny to line up, and cut down two in one move.

He chased after the one that followed Erwin, and cut it down.

He grappled onto a tree and watched Mike, seeing if he required any help.

He didn’t. He took down the four with ease.

They reunited and elected to scout the area the horde had been in. Their horses walked, and each carefully observed their surroundings.

“Well, looky, looky,” Kenny said after a while. The other three trotted to him.

Their eyes widened slightly. They were on a hill, possibly around twenty metres tall. There was a green area below. It had several trees, and further ahead there was a huge lake. It led to yet another area, an area that was so beautiful from this distance it almost begged to be unravelled.

“… Wow,” Flagon mumbled.

Kenny observed his surroundings further. “There’s a rocky slope,” he pointed. “We could go down from there. We’d have to lead the horses instead of riding them, but it could work if we’re careful.”

“Tempting,” Erwin said sincerely. “This area truly is unlike anything we’ve seen before.”

“Then,” Kenny grabbed the large saddle. He snatched a green flag, and he stuck it right in front of them. “This is territory we can explore next expedition.”

“Man…” Flagon sighed, “I’d love to explore it now.”

They gazed at the incredible view.

“Just imagine what an adventure it’d be. Just us, going down there and exploring all this. It’d be awesome.”

Erwin and Mike looked at him, and they smiled.

“What?”

“That’s something Lutz would definitely say,” Erwin smiled. “You truly miss him, don’t you? How touching.”

“I will push you off this fucking hill,” Flagon warned.

Erwin laughed, raising both hands in concede.

“Alright, alright,” Mike intervened. “Let’s go back. We’ve been at this for a few hours now, we need to meet up with team C.”

They nodded. They gave the view a last glance, then headed back to the rendezvous point in Cantaceres.

Before they even arrived, it was chaos.

There was a midsection to get to Cantaceres, one team C was supposed to go through—one that had no buildings and only a couple of trees.

The soldiers were fighting with all they had. There were two dragging an injured soldier, while Gael and Federico distracted five titans. The rest of the soldiers fought in a desolate area, avoiding the titans’ clutches as best as they could.

“Let’s go!” Erwin didn’t waste a second.

As they rode closer, they counted twenty one titans. It was a big horde, but one that should be manageable for elite soldiers. This terrain and area, however, did not help in the slightest.

“Kenny, try to stay close!” Mike said.

“Wouldn’t it be better to split up?” Kenny was forced to raise his voice, since his words would’ve been swallowed by the hectic tumult surrounding them.

“You still don’t have enough experience!”

Kenny didn’t seem to like this.

“Just trust us, okay?” Mike said, drawing his blades.

Kenny nodded.

He followed the three of them, and he pulled the reins back. His horse stopped, and he watched how the three of them immediately stepped into action.

They were experts.

And as Hange and Dorian had said, Mike was a master titan killer.

His moves were fast, purposeful and precise. His dominion over the manoeuvring gear was nothing less than pristine, and his cuts were strong.

Flagon didn’t perform any fancy moves or spins, but he got the job done. He was quick to react, and communicated with everyone around him. While Mike was more of a loner, Flagon worked alongside several soldiers. Still, he was more than capable of taking on the titans alone.

Erwin was awe-inducing.

He was strong, he was fast, he was a strong communicator, and he seemed to ooze leadership from every pore in his body. He multitasked, flying around titans and cutting napes while verbalising plans of action, and the soldiers below would comply at once.

Kenny assessed these traits in seconds. He wasted no time to jump into the action.

He found Gael and Federico trying to evacuate some injured soldiers.

He galloped towards them.

“Mister Kenny!” Gael yelped when he was close enough.

Federico rose a brow at Gael, then looked at Kenny.

“What’s the situation?” Kenny asked.

“We encountered a massive horde and got split up. We lost the titans and eventually we regrouped, so we tried heading to Cantaceres but these fuckers came from out of nowhere!”

“Some of them are injured,” Federico said. “We’re trying to evacuate them to the rendezvous, but these bastards aren’t making it e—titans!” he yelled.

Kenny looked back to find four titans running to them.

“You help out the injured, I’ll hold them back!”

“Yeah!” they said. They wasted no time.

Kenny sprang into action. He lured the titans towards him, and thankfully they followed him.

No abnormals. Good.

He grappled on a ruined watchtower, waiting for them to come closer. There were still titans surrounding the area. If he could simply manage to draw all of their attentions, or at the very least some’s.

He looked down at his waistband.

Worth a shot, he supposed.

He grabbed his flare gun, loaded it and fired at one of the titan’s eyes.

The titan immediately screamed, its howls of pain drawing the attentions of both soldiers and titans nearby. A sizzling sound accompanied the howling, and the red smoke emanated from its socket.

It seemed to do the trick. The sound and red smoke lured three titans closer.

“Huh!? I didn’t expect it to actually work!” he told himself.

He now had seven titans on his tail, running to him with stupid smiles. Rather, running to the howling titan, but they soon noticed him.

“Oi, oi, oi…” he whined as these giant fucking things came closer.

Alright, time to move. He jumped off and flew away, drawing their attentions. He lured them to a desolate spot, and Erwin noticed.

“Mike!” he called mid-flight, and Mike, who was in a battle of his own, looked. He dodged a titan’s hand. “Go help Kenny!” Erwin pointed.

Mike looked at the flying Kenny and the seven titans on his tail.

Mike manoeuvred around the two titans he was fighting, and he flew towards Kenny.

Satisfied with the distance, Kenny executed a move that plummeted him to the ground. He landed swiftly, and rather than flying he skated through the ground, and he cut up the heels of two titans in one move.

They immediately stumbled and lost their balance. They fell to the ground.

He had to be extremely careful. It was a desolate area, but there was nowhere to grapple on. It drew seven titans away from his comrades, which he thought was worth the risk.

Still, since there were five standing titans, he considered them three dimensional objects he could use to latch onto.

Without the freedom of grappling and re-grappling, his body had to struggle harder to stay in flight, and maintain its balance. He could feel the work in his lower body.

He carefully manoeuvred by grappling onto the head of the fifteen metre in the middle, and cut the heels of the other five.

By the time Mike arrived, he’d already cut down three napes.

Kenny noticed Mike arrive, but he said nothing. He simply allowed Mike to help him.

When they were done, they gave each other an acknowledging nod, and headed to the main fight. Mike scattered to help out two members from Erwin’s squad.

Kenny galloped by, trying to find someone to help.

It was then he heard a horrifying scream, a piercing, earth-shattering scream he’d never heard before in his life.

His head shot to the sides, until he found a massive seventeen metre with a small person in its hand. It was a soldier from Lutz’s squad, and he screamed maniacally. He swung his blade at the titan as he came closer to its mouth.

Kenny made a run for it, trying to fly to the titan as fast as he could.

The soldier screamed again. One arm was inside the titan’s mouth, and he used the other one to press his hand against the titan’s nose. He tried pushing himself off, but the titan’s grip was strong. He screamed as his arm was being munched on.

The pain was unbearable, but the pressure suddenly lifted off his appendage.

The titan fell down, and with it so did he. He felt a strong arm latch below his chest, and he looked to find Kenny holding onto him. They landed safely on the ground.

“You’re alive,” is what Kenny said. He looked at the soldier’s half-eaten, dangling arm, and the alarming amount of blood dripping from it. “But I need to apply a tourniquet so ya won’t bleed out.”

The soldier trembled in pain and cold.

“What’s yer name?” Kenny asked, taking off his cloak.

“I-Immanuel,” his teeth clanked.

As soon as he finished saying his name, he let out a throat ripping scream.

Kenny had cut off the dangling, useless arm.

“Sorry,” he apologised, ripping off a piece of his cloak and applying a tourniquet with it. “That’ll do for now.”

He carried the soldier and flew, though he wasn’t sure where.

Gael and Federico were nowhere to be seen.

Read the rest of the chapter here.

[ryuichirou]

Henlo Ryu! I found ur blog through Zevi tag and I have to say you are among the best AoT fan-artists! 😄 Not many people ship (and draw) this problematic couple, but your drawing are just incredible! Your Zevi drawing that I love the most are the one where they could be best friend if not because of circumstances, tysm for drawing it! I also found your Eruri cat HC irresistibly cute. May I ask about this as well?

You mention that Levi is from the street and quite independent, so how do you think he end up with their current human and become an owned cat? What's his background and journey? What happened to him? What about Erwin? Please stay safe and have a nice day!

---------------------------------

Thank you so much for your kind words and for liking our Zevi!! To this day I wonder why they’re so problematic and why this ship is such a big deal for people lol but who cares: it’s more content just for us! And I’ll never stop saying that they would’ve been friendly if not youknowwhat. I love them arguing and hating each other too tho…

And thanks for liking our headcanons!! Here are some more ~

I think cat!Levi’s origin story is quite similar to his story from the manga. A mysterious tall man in a fedora hat probably saved him from starvation as a kitten, and after that he was pretty much surviving by himself. He learnt pretty early how to defend himself and how to find food and place to sleep.

Erwin was given to his human as a gift and was raised by him from a beautiful kitten to a huge gorgeous cat. He knows humans very well; he’s extremely comfortable around them. He easily lets his owner brush his coat and clip his nails, since they’ve been doing that since he was a smol furball. Overall, he’s a happy cat that loves exploring new things and solving puzzles. His human also takes him on walks sometimes.

One day Erwin probably saw an unfamiliar stray cat from the window and got extremely curious. He tried to find him when he was walking that day, and became almost obsessed with this new potential friend.

Levi was extremely cautious and aggressive towards Erwin at first because he’s huge and too damn nosy, so he 100% hissed at him a lot at first. But the human still tried to at least give Levi some treats as an apology for scaring him with Erwin.

Erwin and Levi continued seeing each other through the window, and Erwin continued trying to befriend Levi when he was out. And the human continued to feed Levi and tame him little by little. Sooo yeah after a while they just took him home and Levi kind of never left. This is how I see this story haha.

I guess we need to tag this AU somehow at this point lol

Thank you for your question and please have a nice day too!

[darkmisstressofunknown]

2020 Year in Review

Rules: answer some questions about 2020 and tag some people!

Tagged by @imaginetonprincecharmant thank you so much and again happy new year to you as well ♥♥ !

Better late then never I guess!

Top Five Films you watched in 2020:

1. Pride and Prejudice (2005)

2. The Crow (1994)

3. The Crow: City of Angels (1996)

4. Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992)

5. John Wick series

Top Five TV Shows in 2020:

1. Supernatural disregarding the last 2 episodes because they do not exist in this house.

2. Attack on Titan re-watched it before the final season started not sure if I am going to watch it yet.

3. Fated to Love You (2014)

4. Eternal Love - Three Lives Three Worlds Ten Miles of Peach Blossoms (2017)

5. Ai No Kusabi (1992 & 1994) (2012)

Top Five Songs/Albums of 2020:

1. Radio Company - Vol.1

2. Eminem - Music to Be Murdered By: Side B

3. Elvis Presley - Can’t Help Falling in Love

4. My Chemical Romance - The Light Behind Your Eyes

5. The Righteous Brothers - Unchained Melody

Top Five Books I read in 2020:

Actually I didn’t read any books this year I did buy several but did not read any mainly read fics on Ao3.

Top Five Fan-fictions of 2020:

1. Crossing Boundaries for You - SasuNarufan13 (SasukexNaruto Mpreg story) hurts really good re-read this bad boy so many times last year.

2. Eucalyptus - xHaruka17x (Destiel Alpha DeanxOmega Castiel Mpreg story) hurts like a son of bitch one of my fav def re-read a lot last year

3. Undercover Boyfriend - CassondraWinchester (Destiel Alpha DeanxOmega Cas) re-read this one a lot too one of my fav         

4. Barren Lands to Fertile Fields - wistering (Thorki Top ThorxBottom Loki Post Avengers IW Part 1 Hints of Mpreg) I know its not everyone cup of tea this couple but that’s fine I’m just posting what is one of my fav              

5. Phenomena - AvyTan (Eruri Alpha ErwinxOmega Levi Mpreg story) One of my fav as well def re-read a lot last year too             

Five good/positive things that happened to you in 2020:

1. Actually I had a very difficult year last year and my health got more complicated then its been in the past. So the only good thing that I got out of it was I finally got health insurance after years of not having it this January 1st. So I will finally be able to seek the medical treatment and help I require. And amidst the new underlying health issues I have been dealing with on top of the regular ones I’ve had I still continued being in school and still passing. My GPA actually is getting higher and higher despite my failing health.

2. Though my health was getting worse my family has continued being there for me, supported me and helped me out so that’s a positive. And although I may not have friends irl other then online it certainly helped a lot being able to connect with them and talk about the things we have in common and love.

3. Family and I got a new puppy after losing our first dog she lived over 17 years a good and happy long life she passed away in her sleep surrounded by the family. We still have her 2 remaining sisters that have certainly helped and now the puppy.

Tagging and wishing Happy New Year 2021 with a lot of happiness, health, success and prosperity to : @navajolovesdestiel @diminuel @xharuka17x @spnsmile @ladyvaderpixetc @galaxycastiel @celestialcastiel @psyleedee @caslikescoffeeandfreckles​ and anyone who has a eaten breakfast go ahead and feel free to participate.

Thank you all for this lovely year we spent on tumblr ♥ 2020 together here’s to building more great memories on this site!

[lady-tortilla-chip]

30 Question tag game! Answer 30 questions and tag 20 people you’d like to get to know better!

I was tagged by @wspaceblog!

1. Name: A nickname of mine is Kodi!

2. Gender: I’m a lady!

3. Star Sign: Virgo!

4. Height: ....I’m 4’8 😔

5. Birthday August 27th!

6. Favorite Bands: Bruh, I’m huge on Evanescence. Like, I enjoy music from other bands but this one always whipped out 100% good shit. Though I enjoy others such as Breaking Benjamin, Three Days Grace, Mumford And Sons (also 100% good shit), Of Monsters And Men, Paramore, The Fray, Shinedown, Pvris, and uuuh thats all I can think of atm!

7. Favorite Solo Artists: Lights, Halsey, Lana Del Rey, P!nk, Aimer, Sia, Camila Cambello, and some YouTube cover artists!

8. Song Stuck In My Head: Broken with Au/ra.

9. Last Movie: .....ya uh...I just don’t know about this one, I don’t watch movies often. XD

10. Last Show: Demon Slayer! Been watching it with mah mom and that’s been awesome because she’s got the BEST reactions to everything. I also rewatched Aot so I could catch up and BOY my eruri shippin heart was destroyed. But I wouldn’t have forgiven Levi if he’d made a different choice sooooo. 😅 mixed feels about that.

11. When Did I Create This Blog: erm, April of 2019 I think...😬

12. What Do I Post: Too much. ATLA, BSD, And MCU get most of my attention but other things slide in every now and again. Also cats. Because cats rock.

13. Other Blogs: I have none! Everything I care to talk about or share goes here! Thus the chaos!

14. Do I Get Asks: Yes I do! Not regularly but occasionally someone asks me something! It’s nice when I get asked for my opinion on stuff actually cuz I always appreciate the excuse to talk about fandom!

15. Why I Chose This URL: ...it sounded funny in mah head and looked funny written. 🤷‍♀️

16. Following: 88! Pretty sure I interact with most of them too. Well. The active folks.

17. Followers: 958! 😱 Massive number, don’t know why y’all hang out here. 😅 

18. Average Hours Of Sleep: idk??? 5 hours??? Varies from night to night tbh.

19. Lucky Number: .........3(?)

20. What I’m Currently Wearing: Wine red t-shirt (but it’s for a lady therefore making it ridiculously form fitting) and deep blue lounge pants.

21. Dream Job: Writer! Serious writer who finishes the stuff she starts!

22. Dream Trip: tbh I’ve grown to not care so much about travel. I did when I was younger and had never been anywhere but idk I don’t really have the desire to travel as of right now. Maybe later down the road when I feel more secure where I am, I could imagine something like that. I know, that’s a lame answer. 😅

23. Favorite Food: HM I’ll say Coffee!

24. Nationality: American

25. Favorite Song: NO. This isn’t something I can answer. I like too many songs for all kinds of reasons to choose just one. Evil question. Me no likey.

26. Last Book I Read: I’m reading two poetry books, last one I picked up was Wild Embers by Nikita Gill!

27. Top Three Fictional Universes I’d Like To Live In: Forever and always wanted to somehow exist in the ATLA world. Otherwise? I have no interest in living in any other world. This one is fine. :)

I’m tagging whoever comes to mind first and that MAY amount to twenty but idk: @stargirl720, @voodoosgirl1, @athina39, @aucatgirl, @irresistible-revolution, @thinkingisadangerouspastime, @the-wholesome-ranpo, @soukokujustmakesmesohappy, @sapphire-rosa, @scrumptiousdefendorofaang, @lavenderboneswrites, @foxy-knowledgeseeker, @queenjanai ....aaaand anyone of my followers who wants to! 

[p-eppermintea]

Absence

AO3 LINK

Pairing: Erwin Smith / Levi Ackerman (Eruri) Characters: Erwin Smith, Levi Ackerman Rating: Teen and Up Audiences Warnings: N/A Word Count: 1650 Tags: Hurt/Comfort-ish, Levi dotes on Erwin a bit, Canon Compliant, One-Armed Erwin Smith, Erwin feels sorry for himself, Caretaking, A little bit of flirting, also they argue Excerpt / Summary:

After losing his arm, Erwin seems absent.

After losing his arm, Erwin seems absent.

He spends more time than not staring into space. He hardly bathes, he neglects to shave, and he spends all day in bed. Between filling out the paperwork only he can fill out, not eating as many meals as he should be, and sleeping for far too long each day, he doesn’t really do much. A few people even swear that they’ve seen him cry a little bit.

It’s incredibly unlike him.

It’s incredibly unlike Levi to give a shit, and yet… He can’t help but fuss over Erwin a little bit; or as much as he can without getting on his own nerves, never mind Erwin’s. He hates seeing him like this. It’s only been a week since his injury, and Levi is already losing his mind.

It starts with Levi asking him if he’s okay every now and then. Erwin either just sits in silence, says a simple, “yes,” or tells him outright to leave him alone. It takes far too much willpower than Levi would like to admit to actually leave. Eventually, he takes to sitting on a chair outside Erwin’s chambers. Just in case he needs him. And if anyone finds him asleep in that chair a few times, they’re smart enough to not mention it.

He starts bringing Erwin tea. Just whenever he was having some himself. At least, that’s what he tells himself. It’s not like he’s ever needed an excuse to see him. These days, he drinks more tea than he usually does.

It escalates to Levi just hanging around in Erwin’s chambers. He’s run out of excuses to stay, so he just does it anyway. It starts off as Levi going in there to clean the place until it’s absolutely spotless. He scrubs the floors for hours at a time. He dusts each one of the books and their shelves, and then reorders them. Twice to be sure. Eventually, the whole room is clean enough to be able to eat off of any surface – not that he would, anyway.

He really can’t stand how filthy things have become recently.

It takes a lot of convincing, but he finally coaxes Erwin out of bed in order to bathe him. He’s incredibly thorough even when it comes to cleaning Erwin, much to the other man’s dismay. Levi doesn’t mind it too much, though. He’s already resigned himself to it; after all, he’s had to bathe Hanji more times than he would like to admit.

Erwin just sits there as Levi drags the sponge across his back in slow circles. His throat feels tight as Erwin lets him move him back and forth every now and then to clean different parts of him. The empty space where his arm once was is unavoidable. He thinks about what Erwin must’ve been thinking whilst his arm was being torn off. He must’ve been in agonizing pain, and yet they still completed the mission under his command. Looking at the man in front of him now, it’s hard for Levi to believe that they’re the same person.

Levi builds up a lather of shaving soap on Erwin’s jaw. He shaves Erwin’s face slowly and carefully, focusing mostly on the satisfying scratch of the incredibly sharp razor against his facial hair. It’s the kind of casual intimacy that he sometimes finds himself craving more and more the older he gets.

He gets half-way through when Erwin pulls back and smacks his hand away. The razor slips out of Levi’s hands and clatters onto the floor with a distinctly metallic clang. “Get me a mirror,” Erwin grumbles, “and I’ll do it myself.”

It’s a small improvement, but it’s an improvement, nonetheless. Levi does as he’s told.

So, yes. Maybe Levi cares about Erwin.

He worries sometimes that he cares maybe a little too much; and Erwin seems to have noticed that there’s something different. The longer he’s in there, the more Levi fusses, and the more Levi fusses, the more irritable Erwin gets.

He understands why. When Levi hurt his leg after fighting the Female Titan, he would’ve killed anyone who even so much as tried to dote on him. The only people he allowed any sort of leeway were Hanji and Erwin; and even then, his patience wore thin.

Maybe they’re not so different from each other after all.

It’s not until later in the evening, after Erwin’s bath, that he seems to snap.

Levi carefully hands him a cup of tea, stands quietly next to his bed, and drinks his own tea in silence. He watches Erwin, while Erwin himself looks anywhere but in Levi’s general direction.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he tries.

In one clumsy motion, Erwin throws the teacup across the room, barely missing Levi’s head with it. “I don’t need your fucking sympathy!” he shouts. The ceramic cup smashes into thousands of pieces against the wall, and hot tea drips down onto the floor in a dark puddle.

Levi whirls around and looks at the broken pieces on the floor. After all the cleaning he did earlier that day, too. He turns back to Erwin with fire in his eyes. They look just about as mad as each other. “Okay, asshole,” he hisses. He very nearly throws his own teacup right back at him, but he sets it down on top of a book sitting on the bedside table. “What the fuck do you want, then? To just stay in bed for the rest of your life, feeling sorry for yourself?”

“I want you to stop treating me like I’m a child.”

“Then stop acting like one,” Levi shouts right back. He yanks the cravat off from around his neck and throws it at Erwin out of pure frustration. It hits him in the face and lands limply on his lap. “You lost an arm, not your fucking mind. Get over it.”

Erwin stares, somewhat shocked, at the cloth on his lap with his mouth slightly agape. His face is hidden to Levi, and his mood is completely unreadable until his shoulders start shaking.

Fuck, is he crying?

Levi steps forwards, reaching a tentative hand out towards him. Perhaps that was too far. “Erwin…”

Suddenly, Erwin throws his head back and barks out a hearty laugh. He doubles over and laughs into his hand as his shoulders heave uncontrollably.

For some reason, it just makes Levi even angrier. “What are you laughing at?!”

This just makes Erwin laugh even more, and he clutches his side. He seems to calm down, wiping at the tears in his eyes. “Nothing,” he says. “It’s just good to see you acting like you normally do.”

Levi crosses his arms and aims a swift kick at Erwin’s mattress. He sits down heavily on his seat next to Erwin’s bed. “Fucking freak,” he mutters. It’s good to see him smiling, though, and he almost smiles himself. Almost.

He snatches his cravat back from Erwin’s lap and carefully ties it back around his neck. He can sense Erwin watching him in silence as he takes his time tying it meticulously. When he looks up, Erwin is looking right at him. He looks at him right back. Erwin may be a little gaunt, with dark circles under his eyes and missing a part of himself, but he’s still there. That’s still his commander.

Finally, he says, “You may be right. There’s still a lot to do. I can’t sit idly by, even when I’m like this.”

Levi scoffs. “Of course I’m right,” he mumbles. “We can’t both be dumbasses.”

Erwin laughs again, soft this time.

Levi picks up his tea and passes Erwin the book that’s sitting on the bedside table. “Quit staring and do something useful with your time.”

Erwin opens up the book and sets it down on his lap, using his hand to hold it open. It’s a book of poems – one of his favourites from his adolescence. He starts to read out loud, filling the quiet room with his voice. It’s soft and gravelly from far too long of not using it.

Levi just sits and listens while Erwin reads. He holds his teacup in his hands for a long time after finishing his drink, too engrossed to move and interrupt. Erwin reading to him is soothing, and his eyes eventually start to droop. It’s been a long time since he’s gotten any amount of sleep.

He doesn’t realise that his eyes are closed, and that Erwin has stopped reading, until he feels a hand on his knee. When he opens his eyes, Erwin is leaning towards him with furrowed brows. “Maybe it’s time for you to go back to your own chambers. Get some sleep.”

Levi is almost tempted to keep up his stubbornness and stay put. He decides to leave Erwin to it, though. He seems okay right now. He can leave for just a little bit. He stands up and stretches his arms above his head while Erwin folds over a page in his book and sets it down on the bedside table. “Erwin,” he says.

“Yes, Levi?”

“If you need anything, tell me,” Levi says firmly. “I’ll do anything you need me to do.”

“Would you?” Erwin asks. Flirtation lies heavy behind his bright blue eyes. It’s an extra step back to normality.

Levi pauses for a second. He looks up at Erwin from underneath his lashes. “Anything,” he confirms.

Erwin smiles. Levi smiles back, just barely. “I’ll be sure to let you know.”

Levi turns on his heel and heads out of the room. He feels bad for going, but he figures he’ll grant Erwin a bit of solitude, just this once. Just before he closes the door behind him, he hears Erwin moving in his bed, and the soft thump of his feet hitting the floor.

Two small steps in the right direction.

[catyeager]

Can you do something with a little Eruri? Levi remembering the passion he had with the Commander. Maybe it's a dream Levi has while he's trying to move on, with Eren next to him.

“Didn’t I already tell you it was alright? We already had our time together, and now you’ve found somebody else you’re willing to give your heart to.” Erwin had brought Levi into his room, and they had been talking about Levi’s wandering eyes towards one certain bright eyed boy… A boy more than half his age. Of course, Erwin didn’t seem to be angry about it even though he had every reason to be.

“You’re acting like this is no big deal. Why? Why the hell won’t you just yell at me? Scream at me, if it makes you feel better. Do something, god damn it!” Levi felt the anger start to build up, but it slowly went away when he felt a large hand cup his cheek gently. It was an almost uncharacteristic moment of softness… Erwin was always affectionate, though only to a fault.

Erwin smiled down at Levi, his gaze as soft as his touch as he leaned down and placed his lips against Levi’s. The action caused Levi to jolt a bit in shock, but he soon started to return the kiss eagerly. It almost seemed cruel… It felt like he was giving Erwin hope again despite their relationship no longer being what it once was.

Once they pulled away, Erwin reached down and took hold of Levi’s hand. He gestured for him to follow him to the bed that was barely big enough for the two of them, sitting down in it before pulling Levi down as well. He was now sitting in Erwin’s lap, his legs on either side of Erwin’s much larger ones.

“I’m not going to yell. I’m just giving you my blessing to be with him, because I can see that you love him. We can have one more night together… Then you have to let me go, Levi.” Erwin placed his hands on Levi’s waist, stroking slow circles with his thumbs while he waited patiently for Levi’s response.

Levi took a shaky breath, his hands faltering a bit before they found their place on Erwin’s shoulders. He leaned forward without another pause in his movements, and that was when he knew that this was going to be the last night he would ever have with Erwin.

Levi started to shake before he shot up, his eyes wide as he looked around the room he was in. This… This was his room. This wasn’t Erwin’s. Erwin was gone… He chose to let the man die. No, this was his room. And he was with Eren, who was snoring away peacefully next to him. It was probably the first decent sleep that the boy had gotten in weeks.

Those words that Erwin spoke to him before their last night together always struck him hard. Of course Erwin would’ve been happy no matter what Levi had decided to do, and no matter who he would’ve chosen, the older man would have most certainly given him their blessing. Because that was just the type of person Erwin was.

Despite Erwin’s kindness, and despite the love Erwin was willing to give him… Levi had fallen irrevocably in love with Eren. This young boy who had so many people against him, yet he was still willing to fight for them. He had the fate of an entire nation resting on his shoulders… And he still managed to smile through the pain.

His strength was the most beautiful thing about him.

Without rustling too much and waking Eren up, Levi got out of his bed and went over to the small desk in the corner of his room. He ignored the fact that he was only wearing his casual pants as he sat down in the chair. Once he sat down, he pulled open the small drawer and looked down at the letter that he had taken from Erwin’s office. It was the one that was addressed to him.

He had taken it without Eren noticing, which wasn’t exactly easy. He didn’t want to read it and make his guilt build up, yet he knew that guilt would only destroy him even more if he kept remembering those words that Erwin told him that night. Erwin had gathered the strength to let Levi go, and while Levi gathered the strength to let Erwin rest peacefully… He didn’t know if he was still holding on to a lost love or not.

Of course he knew that his feelings for Eren were different. Stronger, even. Although he still couldn’t help but feel guilty for something that wasn’t even Eren’s fault, so he had to read the letter and make this feeling go away.

With one last deep breath, Levi carefully opened the envelope and took the paper out slowly. It was written with small, elegant letters that he knew from memory were definitely Erwin’s. This was the last thing he had of Erwin’s… He needed to prepare himself for what was written.

To my one and only, Captain Levi;

This letter will not find its way to you before the mission to retake Shinganshina. And I know that there is a chance I will not make it, but you will. I’m not just saying that because of your title either, you know. I’m saying that because I trust in both your skills and your judgement, and you’ll make the right calls when they matter.

Our last night together almost felt like a lifetime ago, doesn’t it? I could see the pain that you tried to hide behind your eyes. If Eren is anything like me, than he’ll be able to see that you can be an open book when it comes to affection. Not that you would ever admit that, of course.

I know that the time we had together was special. You’re the first person to make me feel like I am truly human. You’ve told me time and again that I can be ruthless, yet you were the only one who saw the vulnerable side of me. Your words always cut right through to the very depths of my heart, and that’s one reason I always loved and respected you.

I will always remember every single night that we spent together. I will always remember how your body felt in my arms, and most of all, I will always remember the look of peace on your face while you slept. The only moments when you truly looked as if you were at peace.

And even though you’re the only one who has made me feel human, I feel it’s time we let this go. You have another person who needs your love more than I do, so make sure you treat him with the same kindness you treated me with. The rest of humanity may not be on his side, but I know that you are. More than anybody else.

I love you, Levi. I really, truly do. Which is why I know that letting go is the right thing to do. Just remember that no matter what choices you make, I’ll always be on your side.

With all the love I can give, Erwin.

Levi dropped the letter into his lap once he had read through it, his eyes shining with unshed tears once more. The writing that was so elegant and beautiful was enough to feel like Levi got a dagger through the heart, because those words were the ones that he knew he needed to hear. Although that didn’t make it any easier for him.

He didn’t hear the rustling of the sheets, the sounds of those soft footsteps, nor the sound of that beautiful voice until he was right behind Levi. Levi felt his body relax instantly when he felt Eren’s arms wrap around his shoulders, holding him close enough so that he could feel the younger boys breath against his ear.

“I was starting to get worried that you weren’t going to come back to bed. You look like you’re about to let yourself go again… What’s going on with you? I’m starting to become concerned.” Eren couldn’t see all of Levi’s expression, but he could feel how weak Levi’s body had become. Just like back when they were in Erwin’s office. 

“I had a dream. About the last night I spent with Erwin. He figured out about us, and instead of yelling, he gave us his blessing. I wanted him to yell, to scream… I wanted him to do something. But all he did was help me try and let go of my feelings for him by sleeping together one last time. And I wanted to see if he remembered that night, so I read this letter that I found in his desk.” Levi took the letter that he had placed in his lap, lifting it up so that Eren could read it. There was a feeling of dread that went through him, since he had no real idea about how Eren would react.

There was a few moments of silence while Eren read the letter. Every passing second made Levi feel even more nervous. When he felt Eren take the letter from his hand, he almost thought that the other boy was going to rip it up in a fit of rage. But instead of that, he placed the paper down on the desk without a word.

Before Levi could speak again, Eren grabbed the back of his chair and spun it around. He was now face to face with Eren, who was… He was smiling. Instead of that look of anger he was expecting. Why the hell was he smiling? Did he not care about what happened between Levi and Erwin at all?

“You just wanted to rid yourself of the guilt, right? I understand. I knew that the two of you were together before we even started sleeping together, and I thought that I was the one who broke you two up. There was always that sense of guilt. It seems like Erwin saw right through both of us, didn’t he?” Eren kneeled down in front of Levi, taking both of his hands in his and bringing them up to his lips. Without another pause he brought them to his lips, kissing them with a smile as he looked into Levi’s eyes.

Levi wanted to yell in frustration. He wanted to tell Eren that this was all on him… But he couldn’t bring himself to do it. Not after the letter, not after Eren’s words, and definitely not after feelings those soft lips on his hands.

“For what it’s worth, Captain, I’ve loved you from the moment I met you.” Eren’s words were as sincere as his expression, which was the reason that Levi could feel that huge weight lifted off of his shoulder. And it was the reason that he found the strength to finally move on, and admit what he had been feeling for Eren from the moment they shared their first night of passion together.

“I love you, too, Eren. Even if you always wind up being a pain in my ass, I always want you to remember that.”

[melodyoftheriver]

If you’re still taking requests how about the eruris waking up together

So….  I took this opportunity to write some Established Relationship fluff and smut for a fic I wrote a while back called Silent Night featuring some Deaf and Mute Levi. You can read this following piece on AO3 here, or below:

The Gift Of Hearing

The hairs on Erwin’s fingers have always amused Levi. Amused, because for a man who is so hairless everywhere else, he sure seems to have a lot on his fingers, a place where there is really no need for it. There’s not even that much hair on his arm. But on his fingers, just below his knuckles, lies a thicket of blond that Levi often finds himself admiring – especially on mornings like this one, where they shine golden in the sunlight peering from behind the blinds; the wedding band on his finger only heightening the effect.

When Levi tries to tell Erwin this – how beautiful the gold on his fingers look, and how soft it feels when he slides the back of his knuckles down his forearms, across his shoulders, how that hair tickles his cheek when he strokes it softly while Levi is sleeping – Erwin feigns ignorance and blushes with his entire body. It’s one of the few things that never fails to make Levi smile.

Erwin has his one arm over Levi, holding him to his naked chest from behind, and the left one is tucked underneath him, his fingers laced with Levi’s. Levi wonders how Erwin has not yet lost all feeling in his arm; he’s been resting his head on it all night. Levi tries to lighten the weight on Erwin’s bicep by turning around to face him, but Erwin’s iron grip around his body is unbreakable. Levi is only able to wiggle a little, but all he manages to achieve by that is bring his ear even closer to Erwin’s lips. The man’s heavy sleep-laden breaths tickle him, and Levi cannot help the shiver that runs down his spine at that.

Erwin stirs behind him. The arm that had enveloped Levi descends downward on his body, and the hair on Erwin’s fingers leave goosebumps down Levi’s side. He feels vibrations on his shoulder, of the whine Levi is sure Erwin has let out – like he always does in the mornings – and wishes, maybe for the millionth time, that he could hear his husband’s voice.

Levi has asked many people – Mike, Hange, Moblit: friends and peers and the like – what Erwin’s voice sounds like to them. They all use different adjectives to describe it. A colleague who has never seen Erwin outside of work, uses words like “professional” and “business-like”. An acquaintance who has only ever met Erwin for drinks once or twice says he sounds “knowledgeable, but approachable”. A close friend who has seen him get piss drunk at parties, taken him home, and then let him cry into his shoulder says he sounds “like the biggest dork who has ever lived.” There’s a dichotomy of answers, and none satisfy Levi.

Because no one knows what Erwin’s voice sounds like when he is just waking up from a deep, peaceful sleep, muffling his groans in his husband’s shoulder.

And no one knows what Erwin’s voice sounds like in the mornings when he’s mildly aroused, but not really awake enough for sex, his groin slightly rutting against Levi’s back just to take the edge off.

And no one knows what Erwin’s voice sounds like when his hands find what they’re looking for on Levi’s body, closing his palm around it and tugging, hard.

Levi has gotten good at telling what Erwin’s feeling from the look on his face, whether it be pain, pleasure, or arousal. He’s good enough, in fact, that even though he has never heard or uttered a sound in his life, his mind can still conjure up what Erwin’s voice may sound like, from the way his mouth opens in a moan or the way his teeth bite at his lower lip to muffle one. But he still wishes, more than anything else in the entire world, that he could hear Erwin’s voice straight from his lips, with his own unfortunate ears.  

Levi turns his head a little to face Erwin: the man’s eyes are still closed, his long eyelashes casting the slightest shadow on his cheeks. But he is awake – Levi can tell from the way his eyebrows are almost furrowed together in concentration at the task at hand. His right hand is working at him, tugging and massaging, thumb rubbing underneath the head again and again in a move that makes Levi feel close to the edge already. Levi twists his neck to see Erwin better; his mouth opens against his control, and he lets out the breath he had been holding.

At this, Erwin’s eyes shoot up to meet Levi’s, and in them, Levi can see the question.

“Is this okay?” they ask, “Can I keep doing this to you?”

Levi nods his head, a silent affirmation, and after three years of marriage, Erwin is almost just as good as Levi at knowing what the other is feeling from the look on their face. He doesn’t question him anymore, just continues the jerks and pulls of his right hand, the left one curling around Levi to pull his naked body even closer to himself.

Levi’s hand joins Erwin’s, moves over it, telling him in a language they both understand exactly how he wants it. He sets the pace, as Erwin has always allowed him to. Slow, patient tugs – meant for savoring, not finishing. He sets the movement, too. Closer to the base of his groin, where the pleasure feels more like a silent hum, than the electric spark of a brush against the tip. Levi takes Erwin’s other hand in his, and moves it to his chest. Erwin understands – as he always does – and strokes a nipple, before squeezing it just enough to make Levi throw his head back against Erwin’s shoulder and let out a shuddering breath.

It’s always this way when they have sex. Levi doesn’t ever have to sign to tell Erwin what he wants, and Erwin doesn’t have to either. It was this way even when they had first slept together – albeit, a little awkward, then – and it is the same now.

Now, when they are as well-versed in each other’s body and pleasure as they are in their own.

Levi can’t take it anymore. Between the long, drawn out pulls of Erwin’s hands, and the sharp tweaks of his fingers at his chest, Levi is thirsting for the taste of Erwin’s lips on his, for the short-lived relief it will give him to breathe into his lover’s mouth and feel the reverberations of Erwin’s groan on his tongue. He tilts his head, hand pulling at Erwin’s neck to align their mouths, and mashes their lips together, tongues slipping in. The vibrations of Erwin’s body against Levi’s skin – of his pleasure-stricken voice as it escapes his lips, of the moan that is already building in his vocal cords, of the pulse thumping beneath the hand Levi has on his neck – spike Levi’s pleasure up even further. And he wonders for a moment whether this, this mere echo, could ever be as good as the real thing.

Levi breaks the contact of their lips, feels Erwin’s gasps against his cheeks, feels his own lungs mirror the breathlessness of the man before him, and looks up into his eyes.

“More?” they ask.

More, Levi replies, removing Erwin’s hand from his pulsating erection, and moving it behind himself to palm at the swell of his ass.

Erwin kisses the man’s neck once, and his hands leave Levi for only the slightest second, just long enough to pull his left arm from underneath the man so that he can sit up on his elbows to take the lube out of the drawer, and then he is pressed against Levi once more, wet fingers trailing down his spine, nudging open his legs, and pressing softly at his opening.

Levi gasps at the suddenness of the touch, and feels Erwin shush him at his shoulder. The fingers of Erwin’s hand only rub, teasing and testing, moving around in circles, thumb swiping over the smooth softness of his hips. Levi relaxes enough, though he is still pent up from the stimulation earlier, and when Erwin feels the muscle give way, he pushes in slowly, softly, his tongue licking swipes up and down Levi’s ear. Another shuddering breath escapes his mouth, and Erwin continues the passage of the finger he has inside him, rubbing against the walls, poking around, curling to find the spot that’ll make Levi go breathless. He rubs at it persistently until –

Levi’s spine arches, his breath hitches, and he feels Erwin’s lips smiling at his shoulder in victory. His finger sets a slow, torturous pace, allowing Levi to adjust before moving, and Levi pushes his hips back to tell Erwin to hurry the fuck up. Levi feels Erwin laugh at his eagerness, at his assertiveness, like they are having a conversation with their bodies – because they are. That is how sex works for them. When Levi’s voice doesn’t work and Erwin doesn’t know the words to say, they let their hands speak for them instead, let their bodies guide each other’s movements, and let their breaths sign what their hands cannot.

Erwin’s hand gently forces Levi’s face to look at him again, and Levi sees how he is panting, his mouth stretched against the movements that make the Le-vi of his name. Again, and again, he says it. Levi, Levi, Levi, Levi… you’re so beautiful, Levi. Let me love you, Levi. Let me please you.

Levi .

And Levi? He sobs, because of course he does. Because he has never thought he could be fortunate enough to hear anyone in this life - much less this Adonis of a man that keeps brushing his lips against his ear. Because when Erwin speaks – forget his eardrums, his words vibrate inside his very soul .

Erwin pulls his fingers out, and Levi sighs at the loss of the heavy weight. But his husband never lets the pleasure fade for too long. Before he knows it, there is another weight taking its place, pushing past the resistance of his quivering hole, and Levi feels himself being stretched around it, the pleasant, low burn, as Erwin fills him with his cock.

Levi feels a ring rip through the air, and Erwin groans, halting his movements. In the haze of the pleasure, Levi almost doesn’t notice Erwin reaching over him to slap the alarm clock shut. And Erwin doesn’t give him much time to dwell on it either, because he resumes his movements the very next second, thrusting inside him again and again, with the same enthusiasm and passion that had driven him to Levi from day one.

Levi’s breathing starts to get faster, and behind him so does Erwin’s. His touches get rougher as he pulls at Levi’s hips, pushing him back and forth against himself. Levi moves Erwin’s hand - taking over for the movement  of his hips - and guides it to his own aching groin. Erwin grabs a hold of it and pulls at it, and swipes his thumb against the tip, over and over and over again – not wanting the laziness of Sunday morning, but the frenzy of Friday nights. Only wanting to claim his husband. Seek his pleasure from him, and give him his own.

With one hand working at Levi, incessantly trying to nudge him over the edge, the other one tilts Levi’s face towards his, so he can look into his gray eyes while he thrusts into him. Erwin’s mouth is gasping for breath, and so he lunges forward to steal some from Levi’s lips, and Levi is only too happy to offer it to him.

Sometimes, Levi wonders if Erwin wishes he could hear him when they’re like this. Hear his moans, and hear him cry for release. Hear his groans, and hear him say “God, please”. He wonders if Erwin wishes he could hear his voice break when he comes, like he is coming now, completely at the mercy of Erwin’s hand. If he wishes he could hear Levi’s voice scream a litany – no, a symphony – of Erwin, Erwin, Erwin, Erwin … only Erwin.

Truth is, Levi doesn’t even know what the word “Erwin” is supposed to sound like on his tongue. He knows the movements of the lips that create the two syllables ‘Er’ and ‘Win’, knows the strokes of the letters that create it on paper. But to Levi, that name is meaningless, as all names are. Because they are all just sounds to call each other by.

The man behind Levi is not a name, is not ‘Erwin Smith’ . To Levi, he exists in time and space as a nameless entity; an entity who Levi may not know how to call with his voice, but he knows how to call him only by every other fiber of his being.

And that’s what he does now. Call him. With his oxygen in his lungs, and his moans in his throat. Call him to his release with every supple curve and powerful sinew of his body, even if his voice may rebel against him. And so, when Erwin does come, Levi is grateful that he bites down on his shoulder, buries his moans in the crook of his neck, lets the vibrations run through Levi’s body, and in doing so, offers him the gift of hearing.

Prompts/Requests are still open.

[lostcauses-noregrets]

New Animate Cafe art 🥺😴

[ladymacbethsspot]

I've recently had many strangers come after me for being an eruri shipper, calling me a freak, a fetisher of gay relationships, a toxic person and more. (It's stupid, I know) When I pointed out to these people that I'm gay so how is it fetishism, it led to me being harassed for being queer too. These kind of messages won't stop and it's making me feel a darkness that I can't ignore. It makes me want to curl up and cease to exist. I'm sorry for bugging you I just needed to get it off my chest.

Hello, Anon. I’m terribly sorry that you’re dealing with this. It’s bullying and harassment, and at least you’ve already recognized it for the petty behavior that it is. 

Even if it may seem like the content of their insults is stupid, it can still feel overwhelming, and it’s natural to be upset by it. No one likes to be insulted, and no one feels good when their personal qualities or interests are mocked. There’s nothing wrong with you. 

There’s nothing wrong with enjoying things you like. The internet should be a place that lets people explore freely rather than a platform for spreading hate or targeting individuals. 

That being said, the internet makes it very easy for people to hide behind accounts that their name is not connected to and take pot shots. It makes it very easy to detach from empathy and get caught up in hate, even when a real person is on the other end.

The real question about this situation is- what can you do about it? I think that depends a bit on your personality and how you’d like to take things into your own hands. 

If looking at the messages makes you feel upset and hopeless, delete them.

If the platform on which you’re receiving hate has a way to stop these messaging, do it. Block users, block IPs, disable Anons, disable asks, etc. 

If continuing to be online and “rising above” them is important to you, take heart in walking that path.

If you need a break, take it. There’s nothing wrong with leaving this for another time when you’re feeling better able to deal with it. There are lots of other websites and pastimes that you can enjoy to take your mind off things.

If you want someone to talk to, tell your real-life friends or family. You can give them as much or little information as you like about the situation, but I’m sure they’ll offer encouragement and comfort. This can be really difficult, but the payoff is worthwhile.

If you know the harassers in real life please seek advise from a counselor or other professional who is trained and knows how to deal with bullying. I’m neither qualified nor comfortable giving advice to this scenario but it’s important to address it.

If you are experiencing what I’d call “mental injury” (persistent low mood, depression, weird sleep patterns, intrusive thoughts, suicidal thoughts or urges for self-harm, etc.) please consider seeking help in real life. These kinds of things are serious (no matter the cause) and are best dealt with in a professional manner. 

Something to keep in mind is that this hate is *usually* not personal (if you don’t know your harasser). Someone is angry and they are misdirecting their anger and energy. They are making you the embodiment of things they don’t like and trying to tear you down instead of asking themselves why they don’t like this thing or trying to deal with their own issues.

Their hate does not make you any less. It does not diminish your worth as a human. It says nothing about you as a person.

But it says a lot about them.

Please do whatever you feel comfortable doing in order to address this. You have my support and the support of everyone who has ever been harassed online. There is nothing wrong with you and your feelings are valid because they are yours and yours alone.

[fallenrazziel]

EruRi Analysis, by fallenRaziel ~ Part Four

This is the English translation of a very long analysis in 5 parts I made about EruRi in French. I apologize in advance if some terms are not very clear or identical to those of the English language, because I translate quite academically. Do not hesitate to take me back or ask me if it is not very clear ^^ Articles are meant to be read separately, so there will be analyzes that will sometimes be repeated or viewed from different angles.

4. A HIERARCHISED AND BALANCED RELATIONSHIP : Two complementary personalities

Erwin and Levi work in pairs, so much so that one rarely sees them without the other if nothing prevents them. Before attacking the details of the manga, one must address an important element of the structure of the Survey Corps : the official and unofficial hierarchies.

In Outside (p.46), we are given an overview of the SC's hierarchical structure. It includes the familiar ranks and statuses we know through the manga : squad leaders, team leaders, simple soldiers, all under the command of a major (danchou, in Japanese, commander in English). And what we end up noticing without thinking at the beginning is that ... the rank of Levi is not mentioned ! We all know he is the leader of the tactical operation squad (ie the SC elite), but when all the others (Mike and Hange) are called "squad leaders", Levi himself is entitled to ca poral-chef (heichou, in Japanese, captain or lance corporal in English). This does not seem to indicate anything in the SC's organization chart because it is not supposed to see any rank between squad leader and commander.

This seemingly insignificant detail has everything to do with EruRi. When Levi meets Erwin, he is a squad leader, and Shadis the 12th commander. When the first squad of Levi dies (that of Flagon), it seems obvious that in view of his extraordinary abilities, he had to join the squad of Erwin, considered the most successful (that's what they say Shiganshina residents in Shadis flashback). When Erwin also rose in rank, one can also perfectly deduce that it was the same for the men of his squad : Mike became in turn chief and Levi also. It is therefore concluded that it was Erwin who gave Levi that rank of lance corporal, nonexistent until then, and which seems to have only an honorary function. One could wonder why.

First possibility : to signify that he is such an exceptional soldier that his like has never been seen before. This title would then be a kind of honorific distinction comparable to Humanity's Strongest. By his rank, Levi seems at once integrated but also outside the SC, as if what was so much beyond the understanding that we can not really classify it like the others. But there is another, and much more likely, possibility that relates to the unofficial hierarchy of the SC.

When Erwin announces to Levi that it is Hange to take over if he dies, we can be surprised. Because until now, the almost permanent presence of Levi at his side could suggest that he was his direct subordinate. But this is not the case, at least in the official hierarchy. The right of seniority seems to be in order. In Birth of Levi, we realize that Hange is already a member of the SC before Levi integrates him. So she is older, regardless of her age and ability, so it is officially her that the grade returns after Erwin. If Mike had lived, maybe it would have happened before Hange, but in the current situation, she was therefore her successor.

However, the unofficial hierarchy says something else. It is Levi who is the confidant and the right arm of Erwin (this is even known to the pundits of the capital) ; when the veterans of the SC are asked to report to Mitras, it is Levi who accompanies Erwin through Stohess in the same carriage, not Hange nor Mike. In the interviews of the characters, the journalist considers Erwin and Levi as "the two most important people of the SC", those who give hope to the people. How to explain that everyone considers Levi as the direct subordinate of Erwin if the official hierarchy says the opposite ?

The unique rank of Levi is not for nothing. By this title which belongs to him, Levi thus indicates his proximity with Erwin. His rank is between of the Commander and of the squad leaders. This means that he is not for Erwin only a squad leader, but a kind of hyphen between him and the soldiers. In addition, the title Heichou almost ends up being part of the surname of Levi (who has no last name known), so that everyone calls him Lance Corporal Levi (Levi Heichou in Japanese). As if Erwin had wanted to give Levi a clearer and more precise identity. Heichou and Danchou are inseparable in the minds of others.

If, in the official hierarchy, it is Hange who became the direct subordinate of Erwin, all those who know the unofficial hierarchy of the SC know that it is Levi who has more the ear and the confidence of Erwin Smith . Mike may have had this privileged place before Levi's integration (we see that Erwin and he are very close, maybe childhood friends), but later, even Mike alive, Levi will indeed take this place. If Shadis looked like a alone commander, Erwin prefers to surround himself. However, Erwin had to keep Shadis in the same role Levi holds after him. Ackerbond less.

Now that these details have been addressed, let's look at their hierarchical interactions in the manga.

Levi always obeys Erwin's orders ; and only Erwin’s, according to Levi's own words. However, he is not servile. He sometimes questions Erwin's orders before executing them. Because Levi is not stupid and wants to know why he does things, especially if the goal is not obvious. So, when Erwin orders their fallback to Trost, he needs to explain to Levi that there was an attack before it was executed. Erwin does not insult the intelligence of Levi by giving him orders without sense.

When Eren is surprised that Levi is so obedient - he thought he was more rebellious - he does not have all the data in the equation. Levi does not obey everyone but only Erwin. So if Erwin decides to comply with Zackley's orders, Levi will do it too, quite logically. But if Zackley allowed himself to give him a direct order, not sure that Levi would execute it. He only recognizes Erwin's authority.

Similarly, if Erwin had not ordered Levi to take Eren in charge (Hiroshi Kamiya's interview), he would never have done it himself (yes, in fact, ereri owes everything to EruRi! ). If Erwin had not considered that Eren's existence was an indispensable element to the victory of humanity - and also to achieve his personal goal - Eren would have been handed over to the special brigades and end of story. And that would not have prevented Levi from sleeping. His reversal, while seemingly reluctant to execute this order, is of the same type as his need to explain Erwin's orders : Levi needed to confront the problem - namely Eren - to make a decision in full knowledge of cause. He has no doubt judged that Eren's strength of will would be a big problem if he were to turn into a titan and attack humanity, and Levi being what he is - the hero's complex, and all in fact, he is the only one who can stop him if it goes wrong - he took that responsibility. But he probably would have done it anyway, Eren being the key to Erwin's plan, that Levi always does everything to realize.

When capturing the female titan, Levi is one of those who learned about the plan. He does not tell his soldiers because he knows why Erwin does not want it. He follows the plan of the commander to the end, while leaving Eren room for maneuver that does not encroach on the initial plan - if Eren had transformed and defeated the female titan, she could just as easily have been captured. When Erwin suspects that the host of the female titan has escaped, he orders Levi to refuel. Once again, Levi discusses the order because he does not see the point. But Erwin sees it, and Levi knows that Erwin sees things much better than him. That's why he runs, even without explanation on his part. Their partnership adapts to emergencies. When Levi feels the look of Erwin (review the article on communication by the look), it no longer asks. Which allowed him to survive this confrontation. If Levi had joined his squad without refueling, he would have found himself defenseless against the female titan and would be dead, just like them.

After the smash, the officers are summoned to the capital to explain themselves. It is Levi who leaves with Erwin, without that raising a debate, sign that it is in fact quite normal that it is him who accompanies it. To make a little digression on the "Boyfriend Jacket" - it seems obvious to me that this jacket is Erwin's - Levi most probably hides a gun inside. Indeed, a jacket at its size would not have allowed him to hide this weapon effectively. If he is so armed it is because he is in civilian clothes and Levi being Levi, to walk without a weapon is unthinkable. Moreover, it is very probable that when Nile stops the convoy and threatens Erwin with his rifle, Levi is himself holding him with his gun. His position - slightly in the back and pulling on his jacket as if to conceal something - allows him to fire on Nile, as he would have done on Nick. This is only an assumption on my part, but it is very plausible, since Levi is walking with this gun later. Clearly, he would have shot Nile if he had shot Erwin - or shot before to stop him, his reflexes being dazzling. Erwin is his superior and his life is placed above all others for him.

I will pass on the fact that Levi rushes to separate Eren and Annie, because not only does it go against his dismissal, ordered by Erwin, and Levi would never have done that, but in addition this action does not does not exist in the manga. If it was not necessary in the manga, it is not necessary in the anime, and Levo would never have disobeyed Erwin for something futile. I see more here a willingness of the animators to keep the fans of Levi - who must probably have judged that we had not seen enough - in front of their screen.

During Erwin's recovery, Levi takes care of the administrative chores so that the commander can feel calm on waking up and recovering at his own pace (Levi's interview). Again, even if the official hierarchy places it behind Hanji, the unofficial is more important.

When Erwin wakes up and learns that the titans are actually humans, Levi is shocked. And it is also Erwin's smile, because he thinks that it has the exact opposite meaning of his expression. Levi must imagine that Erwin is happy that humans are titans, which is not the case, he is glad that his father was right (which is not the same thing). What must be understood here is that Levi never questions the acts he committed under Erwin's orders. Whatever the real purpose - to save mankind or to allow Erwin to achieve his goal, which, let us remember, is the same thing - Levi knows that what he did must be done. Erwin is not responsible for this truth about titans. Levi just blames him for not sharing this theory with them. Be that as it may, it is very doubtful to imagine that this knowledge deterred Levi from fighting. Levi does not say that he fought wrong, that the titans killed should not be ; he just regrets that Erwin was not quite frank with him - which is not a lack of trust but a way to protect them and retain their esteem (Erwin does not have such a high esteem for himself).

Despite this new awareness, Levi continues to follow Erwin and obey his orders. Even if his confidence is not quite intact, it remains sufficient to lead him to make the coup, which says a lot despite everything. Levi understands that Erwin's goal, even more personal, is to the benefit of all, so he does not change his course of action.

The Ackerbond dynamic necessarily includes a hierarchical order from top to bottom (as well as Kenny and Uri). So it's Levi who obeys Erwin and not the other way around. From this perspective, it is not surprising that Erwin sulks the advice of Levi : as a commander, he is perfectly entitled to ignore it - even if, as you know, this whole conversation several levels of reading. Levi has placed himself in this dynamic by agreeing to follow Erwin, whom he recognizes as superior to him (Answers, p. 169). It would be easy to speak of domination or voluntary servitude. But as I said, Levi had the choice. And Erwin, on his side, does not treat Levi as a slave. If he gives him many orders - which is normal, Levi is his best "weapon" - he has with him a relationship of equals (insinuated by Isayama). Concerning the guard of Eren, one can imagine that Erwin first asked Levi for his opinion instead of imposing it on him. Otherwise, Levi would not have finally made his decision in the dungeon but would have accepted without discussion. In the same way for the guard of the serum, Erwin asks Levi if he wants to take care of it, he does not order it, which Levi is astonished. Because as with Eren's guard, it's a decision that can have a really big impact on the whole SC. So, if Erwin orders most of the time, he also sometimes asks.

Levi recognizes Erwin's intellectual superiority over his own, and says without any problem that he prefers to leave everything to him about strategy. He, his job, is the fight. We are dealing here with an archetypal duo, even in their physical appearance! Duets in fiction are not lacking, and are always complementary, even when they are antagonistic. The taller is judged as the most stupid and the one who gives the blows ; the smaller as the most intelligent and cunning. These duets alone form a full-fledged character most often, to the point that even their names are usually contiguous. Concerning the Erwin / Levi duo, the stereotypes about force / intelligence are present, but are reversed according to appearances: here, it is the smaller who is the strongest and the taller who is the most intelligent. This does not mean that Erwin is weak and Levi stupid, but these features stand out despite everything. This inversion of the expected stereotypes only gives more flavor and originality to their duo, which prevents them from falling into the cliché.

After summarizing their differences, I will speak of their greatest common point : the meaning of sacrifice. Erwin and Levi are both aware that the world is hell, that if we want to change things, it is necessary that lives be sacrificed. The two men sacrificed many things to the SC, Erwin probably more than Levi.

Levi has already expressed the fact that Erwin is able to make sacrifices, with a view to a noble goal, make his pride to follow him. Levi regrets useless sacrifices, but if they are made with a view to a grand design, he understands its meaning and necessity. Levi hates useless deaths - whether they are others or himself - but he is not a choirboy. He grew up in a very harsh environment that made him leave part of his humanity very early. When he claims to have no fear of being a "nasty executioner" if it can protect innocents of the titans, he confirms his full conscience to leave behind what makes him a human for a more noble purpose. It is a sacrifice similar to that of Erwin, who agrees to turn into a demon to do his job properly, with the least state of mind possible, which is the characteristic of a warlord. In this sense, they understand each other perfectly.

If Levi did not make a huge sacrifice in abandoning his life before - not very satisfactory and unworthy for him - his entry into the SC required another type of sacrifice : the death of Isabel and Farlan, who symbolically represented "his former him". This ritual sacrifice seemed almost necessary for the "new" Levi, destroyed and then revived by Erwin, to become fully the one he was destined to be. Subsequently, Levi will continue to lose comrades. Like Erwin, Levi has a fatalistic way of seeing things. Those who engage in the SC do not do it imagining living happy and long. Losing people is inevitable. But because of his complex hero, Levi always tries to go against this fatality and to do everything to save as many people as possible (and we can say that it does not happen often). Levi is therefore fatalistic, he has no illusion, but still seeks to influence the course of things at his level. But the very meaning of sacrifice has no secrets for him. He shares it with Erwin, and it is probably for that reason that he will resolve to let him die.

Erwin sacrificed much more. Those who do not like Erwin (or even hate him) tend to forget about that. His life, in every sense of the word : his emotional life, his life as a human and his whole life. His possible emotional life, symbolized by the enigmatic character of Mary, to which he gave up to devote himself solely to the SC. Not wanting to make Mary a widow, he will leave her to his friend Nile. Nile represents for Erwin the life he refused in the name of his ideals. His humanity, then, because to assume his load, a certain amount of detachment is necessary. A soldier does not engage in the military so that his superior tells him a story before tucking him into bed. Erwin does not lie and announces the thing. This ability of detachment coupled with the sense of sacrifice - of others, but also of oneself - has been verbalized by Armin who shares the same mentality. Only those who are capable of sacrificing for a higher purpose are changing things. This is also Levi's point of view about Erwin ; he follows him because he is a visionary who is not cold in the eyes. And as it is the same, their partnership has imposed itself.

Levi and Erwin also share this awareness that a useful death is a good death, even if it hurts. Because it is not because we are aware of the merit of the sacrifice that we necessarily enjoy it. Levi obviously suffers from the death of his subordonates (his expressions after the discovery of the bodies of the members of his squad attest to it), but he is able to survive there. Erwin did his best to limit the deads on the expedition, and ensured that the revolution went off without casualties - which will be thwarted by the intervention of Kenny and Rhodes Reiss. If that does not suffice, it remains to be seen that his growing sense of guilt at the end of his life has psychologically destroyed him. Erwin cared for the lives of his men far more than he let appear.

But in spite of everything, life must continue and their duty must be fulfilled. Sacrifice is also for themselves. The sense of sacrifice of others is maintained by those who survive. Neither Erwin nor Levi would run away from death. Erwin knows that he will pay his debt of blood to his fallen soldiers only on the day of his own death. It is something of which he has an acute conscience. And Levi would follow Erwin to hell without any regret ; it is enough for his death to make sense, and he will die satisfied. They are both reluctant heroes.

So I choose the guy whom I want to put my faith in. Erwin is like that, too. No one knows what he is really thinking deep down. But I trust his judgement. He may be inviting the worst outcome, but he’s not afraid of that, he is able to choose something. That’s the kind of guy he is. That’s why I chose to follow him. And I chose to fight. In order to fight against this shit world, with this hand I’ll grab hold of the freedom of going beyond the walls for the first time. I have chosen for myself. Even if I am led into hell, I have no regrets. Not one bit.

Levi's Monologue

[liquorisce]

The Substitute, part 1

Pairings : EruRi, Rivetra (Shingeki no Kyojin)

Rating : T (at least for this chapter), with some angst, romance, and a little bit of shitty humour in the middle

A/N : I couldn’t write anything for Rivetra week and of late I’ve been having major Levi feels, so here goes. 

He’s always hated hospitals. He doesn’t understand the enthusiasm behind rushing the near-dying to this under staffed pit of chemicals and misplaced hope.

Shrouded in despair, It smelt of tears and corpses.

It reminded him of his mother.

…

Light eyelashes flutter soundlessly as blue eyes awoke in a drugged haze.

Levi hears them anyway.

“You’re going to hurt yourself,” he mutters, having materialized by the bed side, holding on to the tubes gingerly so that Erwin could sit up straight.

There’s a sharp, gutting pain in his left rib as he changes positions but serving in the Survey corps has helped him master his ability to mask his emotions.

Serving under Erwin Smith, a man who never gives anything away, Levi has become a master in reading these emotions, regardless.

“… The mission was a failure,” he says quietly.

A small smile forms on Erwin’s rough, chapped lips. It infuriates him.

“… No. We learnt something important.”

That even the Commander of the Survey Corps can be crushed in the hands of a Titan, in less than a fucking second, he thinks bitterly.

“… We cannot have freedom if we keep hesitating, Levi.”

And once again Levi understands the depth of the distance between them, the myopia of his vision, and the inevitability of his heartbreak.

“Keep this up,” he snarls, before storming out of the medical ward, “… and all I will have left is your dead carcass.”

…

It’s past midnight, and 3 bottles of whisky and his squad is engaged in conversation that he’s pretty sure makes sense to none of them.

“… She said she doesn’t want to marry me,” Gunther cries, with real, fat tears in his eyes, clutching his glass like it was his only lifeline. “She-she,” he stutters with a sob, “says that if I’m so hell bent on going beyond the walls and getting myself killed, she doesn’t want a future with me.”

Erd pats his back awkwardly and reaches to refill his glass.

“… It’s the sex,” Auruo declares. “Women will never say it to you straight, but it’s obvious that the sex isn’t good enough.”

“… Auruo!” Petra gasps, “I’m sure she,” –

- “… You’ve got to give it give it to her hard and fast. You can’t be a pussy in bed the same way you are while fighting Titans. The last woman I banged just couldn’t get enough of me, you know. She kept begging,” –

- “FOR FUCK’S SAKE. Just the shut the fuck up, you pig head,” Petra bit out, unable to take his self-indulgent sniggering any longer, “We all know that the only woman who’s ever given you the time of the day was your mother, and that’s because she didn’t have a choice in the matter.”

Erd guffaws, choking on his drink. “Erd, stop drinking already, you’re piss-drunk and you know we wanted to save the last bottle for next time. We don’t know when we’ll get this luxury of time and alcohol again.”

“… The love of my life hates me,” comes a whine that nobody really wants to deal with anymore.

She sighs, “Gunther, you two obviously just had a fight. She’s scared, for obvious reasons. We all are. She’s just worried about you. You’re lucky you have someone like that in your life. Just go talk to her before we leave tomorrow, okay?” She squeezes his hand reassuringly.

“Now you idiots just go get some sleep already. We’ve got drills in the morning.”

“… You’re not the boss of us, Petra,” Auruo pouts, sticking out his lip in an utterly childish way that he will deny tomorrow, with all his sobriety, that he ever did.

“Well I am,” says a voice from the corner, a unique mix of faintly amused and beyond irritated, “and I agree with her. She’s the only one that ever speaks any sense among you loons. Now beat it. We’re done for the night.”

“… Ah, Captain, I didn’t see you there,” she says meekly, running a self-conscious hand through the back of her hair. “I apologize for being so noisy.”

The corners of his mouth lift up in a smirk. “… Don’t. It was entertaining.”

She feels the praise heat up her cheeks and turns away awkwardly. “W-wow, would you look at the mess we’ve made!” She bends and begins to pick up the bottles and glasses, “I’ll just finish cleaning this up and then go to bed, Cap,” –

- “I’ll help,” he says, and it takes a second for her to realise how close he is.

It takes another for that very same realization to completely screw with her head and cause her to lose her balance, letting the glass fall to the floor.

“… I’m so sorry,” she squeaks, utterly mortified by her gracelessness. There’s alcohol all over her white uniform shirt, shards all over the floor and under her hands, as she tries to lift herself off the floor -  

- “Slow down,” he snaps, “You’re fucking bleeding everywhere, Petra!”

She glances down at her palms and sure enough it’s oozing deep red. “… It’s fine,” she gulps, more as an affirmation to herself than him, “I’m fine, I’ll just,” –

He grabs her up by the arm and seats her gingerly on the chair, before heading to the supply cabinet. “Captain,” she starts, her voice still a little shaky, “I can,” –

- “Just sit,” he commands, in this voice that he rarely uses outside out of emergency Titan-related situations, the kind that says I’m your superior, so shut the fuck up and listen to me.

So, she does. He’s quite as he wedges the shards out of her skin, holding her hand delicately as she winces. The sting of the medicinal alcohol is a welcome distraction from his fingers on her and his ridiculously delicious proximately.

Ridiculous, because she knows she’s the only one harbouring these unneeded, pesky feelings.

“Be careful,” he scolds, his voice low, “… we shed enough blood as it is.”

It was the sombre, cold, hard truth. The SC were little more than a rapidly exhaustive resource.

She tries to shift his attention. “Why weren’t you drinking with us today?”

He’d been drinking by himself in the corner anyway, he could’ve just sat with the squad even if he didn’t verbally participate in their nonsense, like he usually did.

He takes so long to answer that she almost thinks he won’t.

“… There were some things on my mind,” he murmurs, finishing up the wrap on her bandage and standing up. “There, we’re done. Now you can go upstairs to your bunk, I’ll finish cleaning up here.”

He expects a protest, typical of Petra, but instead, “… Was it about the Commander?”

He swivels to look at her. “Why would you ask that?” He blurts, tone harsh.

“… Is he getting better?”

“They haven’t ruled out the chances of lower limb paralysis yet,” he states quietly.

He doesn’t know what possesses him to keep talking but he continues, “… maybe it’s better this way.”

“What do you mean?”

“… Maybe this way he wouldn’t have to go out there anymore…”

“Captain,” she says in a low tone, “he’s the Commander of the Survey Corps, he can’t just sit inside,” –

- “Exactly,” he snaps, exasperated, “how is he supposed to be humanity’s hope if he’s fucking dead?”

“Humanity’s hope…,” she hesitates, wondering if she’s pushing too far, “or yours?”

He narrows his eyes. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

…

She’s afraid to say it. Not because Levi is her superior and speaking out of turn may jeopardize her career. Not because she’s afraid of him.

She’s afraid that the moment she does say it, she’ll know it was true.

“I saw you,” she whispers, “when you took him to the hospital.”

The fear, the anger, the helplessness.

“… You didn’t move, didn’t eat, didn’t look away from him, till he woke up. For 3 days, Captain.”

She had heard it when she lingered back a little longer because she was worried for him.

The broken, undeniable note of a sob.

“… You wouldn’t understand,” he murmurs, bitterly.

She didn’t need to see his ashen face to know it was true.

She’d known, suspected his feelings for the longest time.

Ever since she’d known hers.

“… You’re in love with him… Aren’t you?”

~TBC~

[kittyboo8015]

Prompt thingy Eruri, coffee shop and hospital aus One of them works as a nurse/doctor who always works overtime bec hospitals are pretty hectic. The other one owns a coffee shop that doesn't operate 24 hours but still serve coffee at ungodly hours if the nurse/doctor rings the door bell. :D (it could be implied that they live together. Lol thus the coffee service at ungodly hours.) Thank youuuu :3

I am sorry this is so late but I’ve finished it and I’m kind of happy with how it turned out. I want to thank you for giving me such a lovely prompt and I fear I may have gone slightly off track lol. I really do hope you like a giant pile of fluff 💕💕💕💕 Also I am now totally in love with nurse Levi so thank you!!! 😍😍😍

An alarm blared loudly, startling Erwin awake. He felt around blindly with his hand, patting the pillow hoping to find the source of the obnoxious beeping. As he started to become more alert, he remembered that he had deliberately left his phone on the dresser so he would be forced to get out of bed. He stretched, groaned and rubbed a hand over his face. After a few moments, he finally rolled out of bed and made it to the other side of the room to silence the offending noise.

He checked the time on the display and saw that it was nearly midnight, meaning he only had about three hours before Levi arrived home. He threw a bathrobe on over his pajamas and made his way downstairs to put his plans into action.

Erwin quickly unlocked the door separating the coffee shop from the apartment above and flicked the switches on the wall. He blinked a few times, eyes adjusting to the bright light that suddenly flooded the room. Erwin couldn’t help but grin as he surveyed the area before him. The night shift had done an excellent job of hanging decorations and moving the furniture to either side of the shop with exception of one lone set in the center. A sense of pride washed over him as he remembered the staff offering to stay past closing to help him with his surprise. They were a great bunch of college kids whom loved Levi almost as much as he did.

Erwin moved to the kitchen to get the main portion of his surprise finished. He grabbed his apron off the hook on the wall and paused to smile fondly at Levi’s smaller apron hanging next to it. Levi usually wore it when he helped Erwin during busy holiday hours whenever he had time off from the hospital. Levi always offered his help without ever being asked and Erwin would argue with him that he should be using his time off to rest after working such ungodly hours. Erwin would always surrender as it was easier to just let Levi have his way. He let out a slight laugh as he remembered his husband’s feistiness.However, hidden behind his sometimes rough and grumpy exterior were his compassion and kindness, traits that were not easily shown with the exception of those who were close to him and the young patients he cares for at the hospital.

Erwin pulled the trays from the cooling rack and placed them on the counter. He hummed pleasantly to himself as he gathered the filling he had mixed earlier and assembled the delicate cookies that had always been Levi’s favorite. After he arranged the finished confections onto a platter, Erwin’s phone vibrated noisily on the counter top. He quickly grabbed it and opened the text from Petra who gave the heads up that Levi would be on his way home shortly. He typed back a reply thanking Petra for her help and quickly finished up the rest of his tasks.

_________

Levi rubbed at his eyes sleepily as he glanced up at the large clock on the wall confirming his shift was finally over. He had turned in all of his patient reports and even finished deciphering Hange’s chicken scratch orders and entered them into the computer for the next shift. Hange was an excellent doctor but reading their handwriting was like trying to translate hieroglyphics. He stifled a yawn as he logged out of the system and rose from his chair, stretching his aching muscles. Twelve hour shifts were not as easy as they were when he was younger but he still loved his job on the pediatric floor and was a favorite nurse among the patients there.

After checking out and layering on his heavy coat scarf and gloves, he started on his way back home which thankfully was only a short walk away. As he passed the nurse’s station Petra smiled and rushed over to him. “Levi! I just wanted to wish you and Erwin a happy anniversary!” She chirped happily.

Levi returned a small smile. “Thanks, Petra.”

“So do you have anything special planned?” She asked curiously.

“Not really, I couldn’t get the day off so I guess we’ll do something another time.” Levi replied trying to hide his disappointment.

An odd smile crossed Petra’s face and she coughed slightly. “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that, I won’t keep you, I know you’re probably eager to get home.” She replied hurriedly as she glanced repeatedly at her phone.

Levi decided to ignore Petra’s strange behavior as exhaustion set back in and he just wanted to get home and sleep before his shift started again. “Have a good day Petra, I’ll see you tonight.” He replied as he turned to head towards the elevators.

“Uh Yeah, see you tonight!” Petra replied with a wave and what appeared to be a wink when Levi wasn’t looking.

______________

Levi shivered as a particularly frigid gust of wind somehow slipped through a gap in his scarf. He sighed with relief as he had finally arrived home. He frowned slightly when he found that the outside door was locked. Erwin usually would leave the door unlocked and wait up until Levi returned home safely after a shift. Levi had grown attached to this routine as it was one of his favorite moments of his work day. He always felt revived after particularly tiring shifts when he was greeted by Erwin’s toothy grin and a hot cup of tea, two of his most favorite things.

He figured Erwin must have fallen asleep and slept through his alarm, fatigued by the rise in customers due to the approach of the upcoming holiday season. Erwin had a tendency to overwork himself despite having a staff that provided support. It wasn’t that he found them incapable, he felt more comfortable keeping busy and helping out than just giving orders. Levi pressed the button next to the entrance and jerked back a little when the chime rang loudly inside.

___________Erwin gave the room one last glance and hurried the front entrance buzzing with excitement. He quickly yanked the door open to reveal his husband whose face was half hidden by a huge scarf and hair slightly damp from the snow that had started to fall. Erwin quickly led him inside and helped remove the heavy scarf that revealed a small scowl.

“Why is it so damn dark in here?” Levi grumbled as he removed his coat and gloves. “First you leave me outside to fucking freeze to death and then you forget to turn the damn lights on!” Levi added grumpily.

Erwin chuckled and hit the switch so that the room became visible. Levi’s breath hitched slightly as he took in the sight before them. His gaze roamed from the blue and white decorations that had been their wedding colors to the table for two in the center bearing champagne and a plate of pink macaroons.

“Happy anniversary, Levi.” Erwin said softly placing a hand on Levi’s shoulder.

Levi remained speechless for a few moments, his face was a mix of emotions. “How did you…”

“The kids helped.” Erwin filled in knowing Levi was worried about him aggravating his bad knee.

“They’re good kids.” Levi murmured, a smile crossing his face.

“They are.” Erwin agreed.

_____________

After a toast and some pleasant conversation, Levi snatched a macaroon from the plate and bit into it with a satisfied groan.

“Sometimes I think you only married me for my macaroons.” Erwin teased with a grin.

Levi seemed deep in thought after finishing his treat. “Not true.” Levi stated confidently. “You also have a nice ass.” He added matter -of-factly with a crooked grin.

“Good to know.” Erwin chuckled. He then rose from the table and crossed the room to grab a remote off of the counter. Levi watched in confusion as Erwin pressed a few buttons before setting the remote back down. He quickly approached Levi and offered his hand. “May I have this dance?” He asked, blue eyes shining almost as bright as his smile.

Levi’s cheeks flushed as he nervously grabbed Erwin’s hand and Erwin pulled him to his feet easily. Suddenly the sound of their wedding song flowed from the speakers and Levi couldn’t help but stare up at Erwin with a genuine smile. “I love you, Erwin.” He replied softly before he leaned his head against his husband’s chest.

“I love you too, darling.” Erwin replied as they slowly moved across the dance floor.

___________

Levi yawned loudly as Erwin tucked him into bed before getting ready to clean up downstairs and get the shop ready for the morning crowd. Erwin had already informed Levi that Petra had graciously offered to work a double shift so Levi could spend his anniversary with Erwin and Levi vowed to himself to make it up to her.

“Goodnight darling, I love you.” Erwin whispered softly into Levi’s ear.

“Happy anniversary Erwin, I love you too.” He replied sleepily.

“Make sure you get some sleep, you’ll need the energy for tonight” Erwin whispered followed by a crooked smile as he left the bed and walked to the bedroom door.

“And why is that?” Levi asked with a smirk.

“Because tonight I’m going to make you moan louder than those damn macaroons.” Erwin said huskily before closing the door.

Levi blushed furiously before drifting of to sleep, a contented smile upon his lips.

[goddamnchou]

Jinx (eruri, eventual nsfw)

Part 1 of my Halloween fic is here! It’s Erwin x Kitty-Human Shapeshifter Levi. Part 2 should be up soon. Also, I recently made a ko-fi, so if you like what I do you now have the option of buying me a coffee :3

When Erwin moves into a small town rich in history, he wasn't expecting it to turn out to be so...well, creepy. Concerned that he may have stumbled across a potentially supernatural mystery, he soon finds out that the strange things he's been experiencing are the least of his worries — but not until he meets a large, black cat, one whose grey eyes happen to have an oddly human look about them.

Erwin had to admit, the town he’d moved into was a bit strange.

The people were nice, he’d discovered, and he liked his new job as director of the city’s small historical society decently enough, but it only took the passage of two days after he’d gotten settled into the home he’d purchased before he began to notice that….well, the place seemed to be a bit spooky . It was perhaps a silly thing to think, he thought, but it was true, as there was no other word to describe the odd, seemingly otherworldly occurrences that had plagued him right from the beginning.

First, there had been the noises, the strange sounds at night that he couldn’t quite place, like the bumps on his roof that were followed by a quiet pitter-pattering that could have been tiny feet, the faint scratching sounds that often came from outside the walls, and the taps on his windows, too, that Erwin swore he heard even when he looked out and found that nothing was ever there.  Then, of course, there was the hissing and yowling that often woke him up in the middle of the night, startling him out of sleep even if it seemed to come from deep inside the nearby woods, the bloody, mutilated corpses of small animals like mice and birds and moles that he always found around his house in the yard every morning, and the overall eerie feeling that he wasn’t alone, that he was being watched by some one or some thing in the distance that oversaw his every movement.

It was unnerving, and sometimes he would get such an intense sensation of it that the hair on his arms would stand up on end and he would freeze, perturbed enough so that he couldn’t do anything but remain still and silent for a few moments before he whirled around to see if something was behind him. That was what it always felt like, but not once did he ever see anything, which might have caused him to believe he was just imagining all of it if he didn’t always hear a loud thump above his head next or what sounded like skittering on the wood of his front porch, the noises coming so suddenly that he would sometimes almost found himself jumping out of fright.

Although Erwin wasn’t afraid, per se, because he had never really been entirely sure whether he believed in ghosts or not, the occurrences had begun as soon as he’d moved in and had gotten exponentially worse every day, so much so that even after just 10 days of living there he had started to entertain the normally irrational possibility that his house might actually be haunted.

Read More on Ao3.