#i mean a lot of my core child and teenage memories are my sister and i hanging out while our parents marriage fell apart around lmfao

[moregraceful]

Whenever I feel my age in hockey fandom, I remind myself firmly: no matter what, Marc-Édouard Vlasic will always be older than you. Pictures - 1) Kitty Cat Max on patrol; 2) Magnus Chrona (6'5) standing next to a U6 goalie at the anthem; 3) full moon at night.

[thistlecatfics]

I mean, *someone* has to ask you about Andromeda for the hp character therapy ask, right? Maybe after a few different 'milestones' in what we know of her life? (Loving these btw! <3)

Doshu!! I hope you know I’m answering these instead of working on a fic I’m gifting you lol. 

Omg Andromeda. 

So I really hate working with parents haha so I’m going to pick two pre-mother times and try not to totally lose myself in my answers

Just after she runs away -

I could see this going one of two ways-

First, the transition is just extremely overwhelming, and therapy is just focused on her adjustment to the muggle world. (definitely billing this as an adjustment disorder lol.) we’d do grounding skills, space for venting, validating her feelings around inadequacy when she doesn’t understand things and also utilizing a strength based approach focused on utilizing her strengths to adapt. 

Also - assessing for alcohol use disorder, harm reduction around that, nonjudgmental support, potentially some motivational interviewing though it’s not so much my vibe, doing a lot of skill building in early sobriety to cope with the sheer amount of bad feelings she now has to endure

OR - she’s one of those people for whom as soon as they get out of their family (or any other abusive situation), they just need to verbally get it out. Each session would just be venting about a different family memory without a lot of feeling associated (beyond protective anger). She doesn’t want to talk about this stuff with Ted or with anyone else so therapy is that space. 

In either case, I’d hope she’d stick to therapy long-term and actually get into the emotions behind those memories. (After she takes a break to have a baby - then it’s just more coping skills and venting time.)

Validating that she can still love her sisters (and Sirius), and that’s ok. 

I headcanon her (obviously) as experiencing sexual abuse from both Cygnus and Bellatrix, and I would (totally not projecting here!) imagine it takes 5+ years for her to admit that in therapy. We spend a lot of time with just nonjudgmental support and then potentially doing EMDR with the core beliefs of I’m defective. (Young child Tonks is actually a major trigger, and that's a big reason she starts talking about it and feels moved to process it.)

Or, she’s a teenager and she’s sort of quietly acting out/breaking down and she’s made to go to therapy. (would her family ever make her go to therapy? Lol it’s a game of pretend.) 

She does not trust me. Ever. Every adult is a potential spy of her parents, especially if they’re being paid by them. 

We just do coping skills work, and she vents about schoolwork and academic pressure, and I think she’s not actually absorbing anything until one week she casually mentions she used 5 senses when she was overwhelmed and it “helped a bit” and then transitions quickly to talking about her potions essay. (I leave the session and do a little happy dance I’m so thrilled that she utilized something from therapy.) 

(When I learn she ran away from her family because it's a public scandal, I’m over the moon and need to process my intense counter transference in supervision so I don't do something inappropriate like send her a congratulations/I'm so proud of you letter.) 

Oops lost myself in the answers haha. no one is surprised.

[triannguyen2007]

Train’s Universe The Series: Season 9 Episode 3 | The Our Memories & Never Forget 9/11

Trian Nguyen (Me): *Sigh*

Werner Werman: Oh hey, what’s wrong.

Trian Nguyen (Me): Just our memories of Wombo.ai, Tiny Theif, Toontastic, Toontastic Jr., Toontastic 3D, Telestory, Fakeme app, Big Heor Six Bot Fight, Brotmehi88, NatalieRubber2002, Yana the pink bird and DeviantArt, Nether Reactor Core, Treasure X Cartoon, Max and Midnight, Time Travel Adventures Roblox, Akedo, and more.

Max: Oh no, forget about this. They’re busy.

Parker: Yeah, whatever they want. Which mean they cannot mak all lots of episode.

Werner Werman: Yeah, we saw that season 3: Akedo beast strike.

Parker: And don’t forget about Akedo X Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Max: Right.

Trian Nguyen (Me): My YouTube Account got Terminated by the way. I guess, my life is over.

Trian Nguyen (Me): By the way, I lost anything.

Parker: It’s gonna be okay, We will get new account for you.

Trian Nguyen (Me): We’ll unfortunately, my family don’t let me. Because sending me grounding threats, child threaten, and police threat. This is why they should never do that for causing me a child abuse.

Max: Sorry, I didn’t hear it.

Werner Werman: Just ignored it. Your family got brainwashed.

Din Song: That’s today. Hmm…. Today is Patriot Day and 22 years anniversary of 9/11.

Trian Nguyen (Me): Yes, the first year, time or date about “September 11 2001.

Din Song: Oh!

Later at night…

Trian Nguyen (Me): Stella, it’s that you.

Stella: 😢 Yes.

Trian Nguyen (Me): I saw you from the long time ago.

Stella: Yeah, since I’m feel lonely on my birthday.

Trian Nguyen (Me): Oh. Anyways, happy late birthday Stella.

Stella: Thank you! 😭😭😭

Trian Nguyen (Me): Here’s your tissue.

Stella: Thank you. 😢🤧

Xeba: :| …

Trian Nguyen (Me): She is crying by the way.

Xeba: Oh, I felt bad about her.

Trian Nguyen (Me): Same.

Din Song: What state about 9/11 museum.

Trian Nguyen (Me): New York.

Theo: Well, I felt bad your YouTube account terminated.

Trian Nguyen (Me): I know, my sister don’t let me. She’s sending me a police threats, grounded threats, and child threaten.

Theo: Oh no, forget about her okay.

Later…

Trian Nguyen (Me): Alright, my haters needs to stop pretending to be good. But, they are actually bad by the way.

Wilbur Robinson: Correct, your haters are not Good, Healthy, or Innocent users. This is serious about cyber bullying and they got terminated.

Trian Nguyen (Me): Okay, let’s go.

Werner Werman: Well well welll, I knew it all of you celebrating my friend named Trian Nguyen got terminated. You know that’s heartless. Max: Anyways, today is punishment day.

Odio in Moniter: Hey, shut you troll feeders.

Polar Patroller UTTP: Yeah, you’re not bossing at us.

KAH: Agreed.

Claudio Sevillano: Yeah.

Super Sonic Glitch 4: He’s the one who keeps bullying us.

Rasul Watson: And Trian Nguyen deserves it to go to jail or got terminated.

All: DON’T EVEN SAY THAT YOU CRIMINAL USERS!!! Many punishments laters.

Parker: Time to sent all of you to the backrooms.

My haters: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Hiro Hamada: Here you have it. This is what they get for celebrating Trian Nguyen got terminated.

Trian Nguyen (Me): So, what now.

Astro boy: We defending you from your haters.

Trian Nguyen (Me): Thank you so much guys.

Rasul Watson: Oh no, not a entities.

My haters: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

[somuchnonsense]

October Drabbles

Previous drabbles

26. Garden          (post-canon Wangxian featuring bunnies)

Wei Wuxian doesn’t have a farm yet, but he does have a garden on the back hill in Cloud Recesses. “Why here?” Lan Wangji asked him when he started planting. “The rabbits will eat everything.”

“I don’t mind if my hard work goes to feeding the rabbits,” Wei Wuxian responded, grinning. “Besides, I’m not here consistently enough to tend to it and harvest things when they’re ready. At least this way, someone will enjoy the fruits—or vegetables, I suppose—of my labor. And maybe then they’ll love me like they love you.”

Lan Wangji smiled, petting one of the rabbits as they both curiously watched Wei Wuxian work. “I’m sure they will.”

It’s debatable, a few months later, whether the rabbits love Wei Wuxian any more than before, but they do love Wei Wuxian’s garden, and Lan Wangji loves watching him kneeling in the dirt, celebrating the first shoots of a new plant or complaining when the rabbits ate one before it even had a chance to grow. He looks so happy, so comfortable, so relaxed, not the fearsome Yiling Laozu or the brilliant cultivator Wei Wuxian with his ever-active mind, but just an ordinary young man, content with his simple life, with no fears and no painful memories weighing on him.

“What’s that look for?” Wei Wuxian asks, eyeing Lan Wangji with a freshly pulled carrot in his hand. There’s dirt on his cheek and a sparkle in his eyes.

Lan Wangji says nothing, keeping his thoughts to himself, but Wei Wuxian smiles like perhaps he knows anyway, and cheerfully turns back to his garden.

27. Serendipity          (Wei Wuxian canon gen/character study)

It would be easy to think that Wei Wuxian has bad luck. He lost his parents young, and then the people who took him in when he was alone. He lost his adopted sister, and the people who lived with him like family for a year. He lost his golden core and the trust and respect of his peers, and the love of his adopted brother. He lost his home, and the one he found to replace it. And after all of that, he lost his life too soon.

But if you ask Wei Wuxian, he’ll tell you he’s lucky. He lost his parents, but then he was taken in by a new family. Sure, they weren’t perfect, but they saved him from a lonely life on the streets and they loved him, mostly. He lost them too, though not all at once, but then he had the Wens to care about him. That didn’t last, but he got Wen Ning and Sizhui back, at least, and he has the other junior disciples who are ready to fight for him, and Lan Wangji, of course. As much as he’s lost, he’s also been loved by many people, and isn’t that lucky?

As for the rest, well, the loss of his golden core was a fair trade for Jiang Cheng’s life, and it led him to abilities that helped avenge the Jiang Sect and defeat Wen Ruohan and later Jin Guangyao. He’s not the strong cultivator he was as a teenager, but he’s found new ways to be strong and fight the battles he needs to fight. He’s also blazed a new path and invented new things and made a name for himself, in his own way. Isn’t that lucky?

And yes, he died once, painfully, but that’s over and done with and he got a second chance at life. In his second life, he’s fallen in love, made new friends, done some good in the world, and at least done a little to make up for his past mistakes. So few people get a chance like that, including many who are much more deserving than him, so in the final sum, isn’t he lucky?

28. Drunk Confessions          (junior quartet gen)

It started with a few bottles of wine and Zizhen declaring that true friends share their secrets with each other, but nobody could have imagined that it would end like this.

"You're what?" Jin Ling asks, his voice low and strained.

"You're what?!" Jingyi echoes in a loud squawk.

"I'm a Wen," Sizhui repeats, his nervous expression belying his calm voice.

"You never told me!" Jingyi's voice is still far too loud, his expression almost comically betrayed. "How could I not know that?"

"You knew Hanguang-Jun took me in," Sizhui points out.

"Yes, but I thought your parents were Lan cultivators who died back then, or at least non-cultivators from Gusu. Not...Wens." Jingyi grimaces, but wipes the expression of his face when he sees Sizhui's face fall.

“Sizhui is still the same person, right?" Zizhen puts in. "And we know Wen Ning's a nice guy. It's not like all Wens are bad."

"Right," Jingyi firmly agrees. "But I can't believe you didn’t tell me sooner!”

"I didn't know until recently. After meeting Wei-qianbei and Wen Ning, some memories came back." Sizhui finishes the drink in front of him, getting some liquid courage before he looks at the conspicuously silent Jin Ling. "I'm sorry," he says quietly. "I hope this doesn't change anything between us."

Jin Ling clenches his fist on the table, brow furrowed, and for a long, tense moment, the whole group is silent. Finally, he sighs exasperatedly and says, "Well, it's far from the worst secret I've heard about someone I knew. Do you two at least not have any dark secrets?" He waves his cup and Jingyi and Zizhen.

"None, I promise," Zizhen declares.

"If I do, I don't know them myself," Jingyi says.

"I've met his parents," Sizhui interjects. "They're nice, normal Lan cultivators for several generations back."

"Good," Jin Ling says. To Sizhui, he adds, "For this, you can at least buy us another bottle or two of wine."

Sizhui smiles brightly, getting to his feet. "Right away."

29. Cars          (modern AU Wangxian featuring the Jiang sibs)

Jiang Cheng says Wei Ying drives like a maniac. Wei Ying says Jiang Cheng is a wimp and also boring and besides, he doesn’t go any faster than he can safely drive, but he does always slow down when he sees Jiang Cheng’s knuckles turning white.

“You’d better drive more carefully on your date with Lan Zhan,” Jiang Cheng tells him. “He probably drives perfectly the speed limit and obeys every traffic law to the letter. He won’t be able to deal with you.”

“I’ll be fine,” Wei Ying insists. “And it’s not a date!”

“Just don’t rush,” Yanli says. “You’ll have more time with Lan Zhan that way. And I’m pretty sure it is a date.”

“Not you too,” Wei Ying whines.

Later, though, when he picks Lan Zhan up and sees him looking very dashing even though he’s in what passes for casual clothes with him, Wei Ying has to admit that okay, yes, he wants it to be a date, and sure, okay, he wants to impress Lan Zhan, or at least not scare him away by driving too wildly. He forces himself to go only a little above the speed limit as he drives to the cafe where they’re going to study together, and Lan Zhan doesn’t complain or grab the panic handle like Jiang Cheng does.

On the way home, though, after endless hours of Lan Zhan sitting across from him looking casually hot but looking at his textbook or talking about economics instead of kissing Wei Ying, he forgets himself and drives as usual. Lan Zhan doesn’t say anything, so Wei Ying doesn’t realize what he’s doing until he stops in front of Lan Zhan’s building and sees him looking suspiciously paler than usual, his hand still gripping the door handle. “Oh, uh, Lan Zhan…you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Lan Zhan says tightly.

“Say, um…” Wei Ying feels bad and all, but he’s spent hours not kissing Lan Zhan and wishing this was a date and he just has to know if maybe it was, or at least could be. He unbuckles his seatbelt, turns in his seat and presses his lips to Lan Zhan’s. He’s not expecting to promptly get pulled into Lan Zhan’s lap, but he’s definitely not complaining, especially when it’s followed up with a whole lot more kissing.

They only stop when someone honks and Wei Ying realizes he didn’t pick the best parking spot for making out. “So,” he says, grinning shamelessly as he moves back into the driver’s seat, “let’s go out on another date some time soon?”

“All right,” Lan Zhan agrees without hesitation. He’s not smiling, but he is eyeing Wei Ying in a way that he really likes. “But next time, I’ll drive.”

30. Dessert          (modern AU Wangxian, just a tiny bit NSFW)

The first time Wei Ying sees Lan Zhan in a cafe daintily eating whipped cream off the top of a parfait, he can’t believe his eyes. There’s something so unexpected about strong, serious, stoic, ever-responsible Lan Zhan enjoying any kind of dessert, let alone the same kind Wei Ying’s sister and her friends love—unexpected and adorable.

“Wow, Lan Zhan! I had you pegged for the health food 24/7 type,” Wei Ying says, sneaking up on him from behind. He’s obviously trying to surprise Lan Zhan, but he doesn’t expect it to actually work, so he’s thrilled when it makes Lan Zhan jump and then turn a glare on him. “Hey, no judgment. There’s nothing wrong with enjoying something sweet.” The temptation to stick his finger in the whipped cream and dab some onto Lan Zhan’s nose is so strong, but Wei Ying doesn’t want to die today, so he restrains himself.

It takes nearly a year after that encounter for them to start dating, though Wei Ying does manage to put whipped cream on Lan Zhan’s face twice before that. (Maybe he should have guessed that Lan Zhan liked him, despite never mentioning it, by how he didn’t murder Wei Ying for doing that.) It takes another five months after they get together for Wei Ying to convince Lan Zhan that whipped cream will also be delicious when licked off his body, but oh, is it worth it.

31. Trick or Treat          (modern cultivation AU, A-Yuan and Wangxian)

    “I want to go as Uncle Wen!” A-Yuan declares.     Wei Wuxian blinks at him, turns and blinks at Lan Wangji, and then starts to laugh. “I mean, I think a ghost or a vampire or a cat or something is more typical, but sure, you can go as a fierce corpse.”     “Not a fierce corpse!” A-Yuan protests. “Uncle Wen!”     Lan Wangji gives Wei Wuxian his patented You are not treating this child as he should be treated look. “Yes, of course,” Wei Wuxian amends. “We’ll find you the best Wen Ning costume anyone has ever had.”    “Can Uncle Wen come with me?” A-Yuan asks.    Wen Ning won’t do well with crowds or a sugar high A-Yuan, but on the other hand, he’ll blend in on Halloween in a way he usually can’t. “We’ll all come with you,” Lan Wangji tells him.    “Yay!” A-Yuan jumps up and down in excitement. “What will you be? Ooh, I know! You should be a bunny.” He gestures at Lan Wangji, and then to Wei Wuxian, “And you should be a carrot.”    “A carrot?” Wei Wuxian grimaces. “Come on, between the two of us, don’t I look more like a bunny?”    “At least he didn’t say a donkey.” Lan Wangji keeps his voice low, and before A-Yuan can demand that he repeat it, says, “Those are excellent choices.”    “You’re so mean to me,” Wei Wuxian whines, but that doesn’t stop him from going out on Halloween evening in a big carrot costume, hand in hand with rabbit Lan Wangji, with mini Wen Ning skipping on ahead of them and actual Wen Ning looking fondly on.

[gstqaobc]

THE ROYAL FASCINATOR

Friday, May 21, 2021

Hello, royal watchers and all those intrigued by what’s going on inside the House of Windsor. This is your biweekly dose of royal news and analysis. Reading this online? Sign up here to get this delivered to your inbox.

Janet DavisonRoyal Expert

Meeting the Queen online

For Dr. Steve Beerman, it was in many ways like having a pleasant conversation with his 92-year-old mother. Except it wasn’t his mother. It was the Queen. Beerman, a retired family physician in Nanaimo, B.C., spoke with Queen Elizabeth online the other day as she gave him — virtually — an award recognizing his longstanding work in drowning prevention. “I’m very delighted to be able to present you with this cup, a very large cup, which one day you might see if you come to London,” Elizabeth told Beerman as she honoured him with the King Edward VII Cup during the virtual session with the Royal Life Saving Society. Beerman, co-chair of the Canadian Drowning Prevention Coalition, was quick to reply that it was “a pleasure and a humbling honour to be with you.” Being with the Queen in this way has become the way of the royal world during the pandemic. Many observers have said that virtual sessions involving the Queen have offered new insight into the 95-year-old monarch, who has more often been seen from afar, giving formal speeches or doing a walkabout. “Many people who commented to me about the interview [said] that they had never seen her have what they would describe as a nearly normal conversation with some people,” Beerman said. “My own mother is 92. This was not a whole lot different than talking to my own mother.” Beerman, a trustee with the Royal Life Saving Society, had met the Queen at Buckingham Palace a handful of times in connection with that Commonwealth organization. But his most recent session with her was memorable in a new way. “It was more chatty,” he said. “It was more communicative than when I’ve experienced these encounters in real life, face to face. So I thought this was actually a better way to do this.” A seven-minute video of the session involving Beerman and others honoured for their drowning prevention efforts was posted online, but the overall virtual encounter lasted about 20 minutes, and came after participants had two practice sessions. “In the second one, we actually rehearsed what we were going to say and we were coached in a very nice way by the people from the royal household about pausing and being slow enough to allow her to interject with comments or questions,” Beerman said. “We were very much encouraged to participate in a conversation as opposed to doing an acceptance speech.” Still, there was a bit of nervousness for Beerman as the call began. “There’s always some nerves about are you going to misstep or say something in a way you might regret or that might be perceived to be awkward by others,” he said. As the conversation progressed, Elizabeth shared her own memories of receiving a life-saving award as a teenager. In 1941, she became the first person in the Commonwealth to receive the Royal Life Saving Society’s junior respiration award. “I didn’t realize I was the first one — I just did it, and had to work very hard for it,” Elizabeth said. “It was a great achievement and I was very proud to wear the badge on the front of my swimming suit. It was very grand, I thought.” Beerman sees the shift to the virtual world for the Royal Family as a signal the House of Windsor can change with the times. “I think it’s a strong statement of ... we can pivot when we need to, we are flexible, adjustable and, like the rest of the world, we have to respond to the reality that we live within.”

The deceit behind the Diana interview

The interview was as devastating as it was haunting. And now, 26 years after Diana, Princess of Wales, sat down with a BBC journalist and told the world “there were three of us in this marriage, so it was a bit crowded,” an inquiry has found that Martin Bashir acted deceitfully to gain the interview. It’s a finding that will echo through both the royal and journalistic worlds.   In response, Princes William and Harry made statements that lay bare the deep pain the interview with their mother has left with them. “It is my view that the deceitful way the interview was obtained substantially influenced what my mother said. The interview was a major contribution to making my parents’ relationship worse and has since hurt countless others," William said in his statement. "It brings indescribable sadness to know that the BBC’s failures contributed significantly to her fear, paranoia and isolation that I remember from those final years with her." But what saddens William the most, he said, “is that if the BBC had properly investigated the complaints and concerns first raised in 1995, my mother would have known that she had been deceived.” Diana was failed, he said, “not just by a rogue reporter, but by leaders at the BBC who looked the other way rather than asking the tough questions.” Prince Harry said their mother “was an incredible woman who dedicated her life to service. She was resilient, brave and unquestionably honest.” He said what “deeply concerns” him is that similar journalistic practices are still widespread. “Our mother lost her life because of this, and nothing has changed. By protecting her legacy, we protect everyone, and uphold the dignity with which she lived her life. Let’s remember who she was and what she stood for.” Observers suggest it will all have a significant impact on how the BBC is viewed. “It shakes the real core of journalism because people will no longer look to that broadcaster and trust them wholly because we now know that they're prepared to lie to coerce people into taking part in interviews,” marketing consultant Diana Young told the CBC’s Tesa Arcilla. Diana and Prince Charles were divorced in 1996. She died after a car crash in Paris in 1997.

Babies and the line of succession

(Peter Byrne/Press Association via The Associated Press Word this week that Princess Beatrice and her husband, Edoardo Mapelli Mozzi, are expecting their first child will add yet another shuffle in short order to the line of succession. The child, due sometime this fall, will be the 12th great-grandchild for the Queen, and the fourth baby to arrive in a matter of months. Beatrice’s younger sister, Princess Eugenie, and her husband, Jack Brooksbank, welcomed their son, August, in February. The following month, Princess Anne’s daughter Zara, and her husband, Mike Tindall, welcomed their son Lucas. Prince Harry and Meghan, Duchess of Sussex, are expecting a daughter, with a due date thought to be in early summer. That baby will take the highest spot in the succession among the new arrivals, landing at No. 8, following her father, Harry, who is sixth in line to the throne and Harry and Meghan’s first child, Archie, now sitting at No. 7. The passage of time can mean marked shifts in the line of succession for those who enter it somewhat lower in the roster. Take, for example, Sarah Chatto, daughter of Princess Margaret. When she was born in 1964, she was No. 7. Now, she is 26th.

Royally quotable

"Planting a tree is a statement of hope and faith in the future."

— Prince Charles, in a video posted online to mark the launch of the Queen’s Green Canopy,

a tree-planting initiative to mark Queen Elizabeth’s Platinum Jubilee

next year that aims to enhance the environment now and for future generations.

Royal reads

1. Prince Harry says the pain of Diana’s death

pushed him to drinking and drugs

. The Duke of Sussex’s latest comments, along with further criticism of how he said the Royal Family neglected both him and his wife, Meghan, came in an interview with Oprah Winfrey in The Me You Can’t See, a new Apple TV series about mental health debuting Friday. [CBC]

2. Queen Elizabeth’s

first major ceremonial duty since the death of her husband

, Prince Philip, came during a scaled-down state opening of Parliament. [The Independent]

3. Prince Michael of Kent, a cousin of Queen Elizabeth, has

denied reports

he was willing to use his royal status for personal profit and provide access to the regime of Russian President Vladimir Putin. [BBC]

4. There was

lots of taffeta and no tantrums

during the creation of Diana's wedding dress, recalls one of its designers. [The Guardian]

5. One of the Queen’s two new puppies, which she reportedly received a few months ago from Prince Andrew for companionship,

has died

. [The Daily Mail]

6. The succession for the British throne is clearly laid out, but succession can in some other countries be

considerably more complicated

. [The Guardian]

Cheers!

I’m always happy to hear from you. Send your ideas, comments, feedback and notes to

royalfascinator@cbc.ca

. Problems with the newsletter? Please let me know about any typos, errors or glitches.

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💜🙏🏻🙂✝️💟PG💟✝️🙂🙏🏻💜

GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦🇬🇧🇦🇺🇳🇿.

[dearcat1]

Alessandra AU

Fandom: Bleach, Katekyo Hitman Reborn.

Relationships: Ichigo Kurosaki & Xanxus.

Summary: Ichigo reborn as Xanxus’ little sister.

.

[Part 1] [Part 2]

Honestly, Xanxus is not even surprised when these particular bunch of clowns appear in front of him. He's just happy that it happens during his sister's first day of Mafia School. He doesn't want them anywhere near his baby sister. Not after he saw the amount of damage her soul is still healing from. 

There had been quite a lot of casualties the day Xanxus found out. His elements don't talk about it, Alessandra looks oddly touched if the subject ever comes up. The entirety of the training grounds had to be rebuilt but Xanxus figures they should be happy Xanxus had mellowed enough not to go out hunting. 

"Rukia, I presume," he drawls and looks the outfit over. Summer dress and a cute little smile, she looks like a high schooler and all-around good little girl. The act won't serve her well here, though, this is the Varia and they know better than some Japanese teachers over three decades ago. Alessandra is fond of her, Xanxus hates her with a passion that surprises even him. 

Both of them agree, whatever debt was owed to her has long been paid. 

"Ah, yes, mister Xanxus," she demurs, sweet as sugar. "Is Ichigo here? We'd like to talk to him."

Xanxus hides his fury behind his careless facade. He's a mafia Don, he knows how to play this game, no matter how compromised he is. "Ichigo Kurosaki is dead," he doesn't say because of you but he hopes she heard it regardless. "He doesn't live here."  

She falters at that, for a split second, and then recovers. "My apologies. I meant Alessandra, mister. Could we talk to her?" 

With a hum, Xanxus shrugs, takes a deliberately slow gulp of his whisky and watches her do her best to reign in her temper. "I don't believe you can, no." 

"And why is that?" She asks, tone far tighter and teeth pressed together. 

Maybe he shouldn't be taking as much enjoyment from this as he is but Xanxus doesn't give a shit about her comfort, "for starters, she's not here at the moment." 

"And?" Rukia demands and Xanxus lets her.

Let her think that she's untouchable, let her go on with that for a while yet. Xanxus wants to see the realization in her face, the fear creeping in. He'll draw the line in the sand and he's taken measures to ensure it will be respected. "And even if she was, I wouldn't let an ungrateful traitor like you anywhere near her."

"Traitor?" Rukia grits out and there it is, the temper. If Xanxus didn't hate her so, he'd admire her spine. "We are his friends!"

Yes, Ichigo's friends in just the same way that Timoteo is Xanxus' father. It's easier on the mind to call it kindness than manipulation, after all. "Were you? Then why is it that you only come around when you need something?" 

Rukia's eyes widen and she flinches back, Urahara beside her lowers his head and hides behind his fan. The third soul reaper just grimaces slightly and Xanxus has no idea which one this is but he's going to hate him out of principle. "Or am I wrong?" He goes on, knowing full well that he isn't. "Are you here just to say hi and not because you need a child to fight for you? Incompetent as you seem to be." 

"Soul Society needs…" 

"To lower its ego." Xanxus finishes for her, "if it needed to be created, it means the world survived before it as well. Your disappearance might make things hard for a while but the world will adapt. If an organization has become incompetent enough to need a teenager to save them when they have people who have been alive for centuries on their payroll…" 

He lets the implications settle, lets them see how unwilling he is to cooperate. Let them know he will not bow to their self-importance. 

"We could just ask Ichigo directly," she answers, smug with the knowledge that very few have ever been more important to Ichigo than his family and friends.

Xanxus doesn't let it bother him. This girl, centuries-old or not, is in denial. She can't seem to think of Alessandra in any other way than in terms of Ichigo. And yes, Ichigo and Alessandra are at their core the same but reincarnation has its impacts and as much as Ale remembers her life as Ichigo, it's faded like all old memories are. And Xanxus is her older brother, the one she admires and looks up to. The one she trusts to keep her safe. 

"You do that," he mocks, drinking a little more whisky. "She'll give you the same answer: no. My sister won't break a promise to me for the likes of you." But seeing as he doesn't want any of them near his Ale, he leans forward in mostly fake interest. "Let me show you something, before you go. Try to get out of that fake body of yours." 

Though Xanxus can see the obvious disinterest at the beginning, he can also tell the moment she realizes that she can't. Xanxus smiles, all teeth and bloodlust, "what do you think will happen to you should you die in that? You're, after all, already a spirit." 

Verde's services had been incredibly expensive to acquire but Xanxus wasn't about to get stingy on such important matters. Besides, the new data might just be enough for the crazy scientist to stick around a little longer. 

"You're a good brother," soul reaper number three says with something that tries to hide approval. "I am glad. Send Alessandra my regards, we will be leaving."

"But brother!" 

"Rukia," the man Xanxus now can identify as Byakuya reprimands, "we're going." 

The girl follows with a frown on her face and evident confusion surrounding her. Xanxus doesn't care, if he never sees her again he'll be a happier man for it. He turns to look at the blonde instead. "So?" 

"Her soul," Urahara begins, hesitant. "It can't be fully healed."

It's not, it really isn't and Xanxus is both furious and terrified. It must show in his face somehow because the scientist closes his fan, clutching it against his chest like a lifeline. Ichigo loved this man like a father, Xanxus knows. Alessandra loves him mostly the same, perhaps because there was no father in this life to muddy the waters. She misses him, after nightmares or bad days. Xanxus… he doesn't know how he feels about it. 

"I couldn't save Ichigo," and like this, without the fan hiding his face, it's easy to see the grief and regret. The desperation. "I couldn't. But Alessandra… the machines I made to keep Ichigo stable, they should help her heal." 

This is begging, Xanxus knows. And he wants to deny the man, turn him away and demand he never returns. But he remembers his sister's words "Kisuke didn't know what was happening" and her unwavering belief that even if everybody else abandoned her, Urahara would have fought tooth and nail for Ichigo's life. So he nods, ignoring the tightness of his jaw. "Send the research over, if it checks out, we'll contact you."

He doesn't know what comes over him but in a moment of mercy or maybe out of misplaced fondness, he reaches for the man. Xanxus lays a hand on the blonde's shoulder and hands over a small picture the Varia Commander always carries with him. Alessandra, smug and grinning at the camera. He has more copies anyway.

Kisuke leaves after that, clutching the picture to him like it's the one thing that keeps him going. Maybe it is. Xanxus… about this man, he doesn't know what to think.

[smarti-at-smogwarts]

First Year Profile

Taking a page from the lovely @carewyncromwell​ who’s the blog that introduced me  to HPHM and encouraged me to play. 

While I’m still in year one [ im trying to catch up as fast as possible T-T] I wanted to jot some stuff down about my MC and  maybe have ppl meet her. 

There’s stuff missing but that will be added as I progress through the game. 

[ Image ID close up of a girl with shoulder lenght brown hair, a round nose, and blue eyes. She’s smiling at the camera. End ID]

NAME | Marta Beatrice Venturi

NICKNAMES | Marti -Goes by that everywhere, actually doesn’t like her full name, and only gets called it when she’s in trouble-. Smarti [ Jacob called her this. Off limits] Munchkin [ her dad] Venturi. [ Snape and Merulla] 

Pronouns | She/Her 

ORIENTATION | Bi

[PERSONALITY] Marti is a bit capricious due  to being the baby of her family and tends to want things to go her way. She’s a bit mischievous because of this and can be rather childish though also very playful and sweet for the same reason. She is also incredibly empathetic and always there for her friends, becoming very protective of them. She’s highly social and outgoing often known for befriending people at the drop of a hat. Despite this first impressions tend to stick to her and once she makes up her mind about you it can take a lot for her to change it. [ ie both Snape and Merula are already in a bad light for her after one meeting with each while both Flitwick and Hagrid are in a good light.] 

She’s very protective of and tries to do right by those she considers friends and can be highly protective of them. 

[Image ID; Marti standing between a girl with dark skin, ling black hair and glasses [ her friend Rowan] and a girl with  short brown hair. The text reads under her ‘’get away from her’ End ID]

Jacob is her berserk button as she loves him dearly and still hasn’t let him go. Anyone talking badly about him instantly goes on her sh-t list and will cause her to lose her temper.  

[Image ID- Marti looking angry as a text box below him reads ‘’expelling him was completely unfair; and it was just as wrong of him to run away without telling. End ID]

[BIOGRAPHY]

Marti is the third child of Abigail Rowle and George Venturi. Both purebloods. They had two boys before her, Jacob [ ten years older than Marti] and Edwin [ four years older than Marti]. Most of Marti’s early memories include her family either together or separately and are good ones.  She was specially close to her oldest brother as he often babied her and had a soft spot for her. 

There was a rough patch when Abigail and George after months of arguments and the relationship being rocky, separated. However, Marti was both too young and sheltered by both her brothers for it to affect her too much.  Their father, a wizard world attorney, kept full custody of the three of them which Abigail was okay with.

Raising three kids was a handful for George and while he tried his best and the family was very loving [ with all three Venturi kids being unequivocally Daddy’s Girl/Boys] there were a lot of times when Jacob and even Edwin eventually  picked up the slack. Being the baby, Marti was coddled and never wanted for much attention not in the very least because while Jacob tried to not have favorites between his siblings he undoubtedly had a soft spot for his baby sister.[ not that Edwin ever begrudged her this. ]  

While Jacob went to Hogwarts when Marti was still really young [ which led to more than a few tantrums specially in his first year] he remained an important figure in her life and the three Venturi remained close, reuniting every break the school allowed even after Edwin joined his brother [ starting his Hogwarts career when Marti was  six ]

Unfortunately this wasn’t to last. Jacob vanished during his sixth year which sent the small family into turmoil. Edwin, who was about to start his first year, became withdrawn and sulked on his own, closing himself off to everyone including his own family. George was distraught at losing his oldest son. His relationship with Abigail became strained since they separated amicably enough but the loss of a child led them to be unable to be in the same room without assigning blame. [ though Abby still keeps her visits with her children she just..doesn’t speak to their father.]

And Marti lost her big brother.

The family grieved and eventually seemed to move on though none of them have completely let Jacob go. George still blames himself and harbors a lot of feelings of failing his son. Edwin is hugely withdrawn and refuses to speak on the matter. Marti in particular refuses to let Jacob go or give up on him returning and refuses to believe the things said about him. Jacob was and still is her hero, she had him on a pedestal before he left and still wants him to come back. Something that puts her at odds with Edwin who wants to forget and move on. 

A few years down the line, George married a muggle named Nora who herself had a magical child and a muggle one. Both Edwin and Marti took this as a sign things would get better and that the family could heal, and both were happy to have additions to the family. 

However this also added to Marti’s feelings that she was the only one who still remembered and hadn’t given up on Jacob as Edwin befriended Nora’s magical daughter [ her being the same age as him and a Hufflefpuff and the two becoming best friends as well as siblings] and her father seemed to move on with the help of his new wife.  

Because of this she even more stubbornly clung to Jacob, to the happy memories she had of him- which she seemed to be alone in as his name was tarnished- and the more the family tried to get her to give up on him coming back, the more she dug her heels in. 

Now going to Hogwarts, Marti is excited to start at the school and learn new things. She’s also determined to use the things she learns to bring her brother home someday. 

WAND |  blackthorn wand with a unicorn hair core. It is eleven-and-a-quarter inches and described as "slightly springy and flexible.

Blackthorn, which is a very unusual wand wood, has the reputation, in my view well-merited, of being best suited to a warrior. This does not necessarily mean that its owner practices the Dark Arts (although it is undeniable that those who do so will enjoy the blackthorn wand’s prodigious power); one finds blackthorn wands among the Aurors as well as among the denizens of Azkaban. It is a curious feature of the blackthorn bush, which sports wicked thorns, that it produces its sweetest berries after the hardest frosts, and the wands made from this wood appear to need to pass through danger or hardship with their owners to become truly bonded. Given this condition, the blackthorn wand will become as loyal and faithful a servant as one could wish.

Unicorn hair generally produces the most consistent magic, and is least subject to fluctuations and blockages. Wands with unicorn cores are generally the most difficult to turn to the Dark Arts. They are the most faithful of all wands, and usually remain strongly attached to their first owner, irrespective of whether he or she was an accomplished witch or wizard.Minor disadvantages of unicorn hair are that they do not make the most powerful wands (although the wand wood may compensate) and that they are prone to melancholy if seriously mishandled, meaning that the hair may 'die' and need replacing.

HOUSE | Slytherin 

[MISC]

♦  Marti loves animals especially those often not considered cute [ bats, reptiles, bugs]  and has a pet snake she left at home as she didn’t see anything about snakes being acceptable pets in the letter. She plans to ask about it at some point in her first year. Her pet snake’s name is Mickey. 

♦  Marti has 2 siblings in Hogwarts. Lizzie Mcdonald in Hufflepuff and Edwin Venturi in Ravenclaw. They don’t interact that much however due to the age gap [ they’ll graduate by the end of year 2] and the fact  that they have different social groups [ well Marti and Lizzie do. Edwin’s more a withdrawn Loner] as well as being in different houses. 

♦   This is also in part because of Marti’s own feelings of perceived exclusion. While they love her very much and don’t mean to do it, the unmistakable  synergy between her elder siblings and the friendship that immediately sparked from it often leaves Marti feeling left out or looking from the outside. It makes her miss Jacob and cling to the idea of him coming back all the more since she remembers having a close relationship with him/being closer to him than to Edwin. 

♦  The Venturi’s are very protective of each other[ and of their step siblings] specifically because of what happened to Jacob. It affected them both very badly though differently.  

♦  The Venturi’s are considered blood traitors by most purebloods due to their lax views on Muggleborn wizards especially now that George married a muggle. [ their view of George was already low due to having separated from his pureblood wife]. 

♦  More to the point, all three Venturis [ George, Edwin and Marti ] are hugely defensive against anti-muggle and anti-muggle born sentiments due to Nora and her daughters being part of their family and are likely to react violently to it, especially if directed at them. 

♦  Marti has a love for old rock bands due to Jacob often listening to them when she was little/when he was still around. 

♦   She wore cat ear headbands as a kid and sometimes still wears them [ specially in first year second and third  as she’s still a child but I can definitely see her wearing them for fun as a teenager] 

♦  Marti has a list of spells she wants to learn specifically to prank Merula. And she might be trying to remember what pranks Edwin and Jacob used on each other before Jacob went missing. 

♦  Marti has -undiagnosed ADHD- and RSD [ Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria] which itself is a sympton of ADHD. This often leads to her not focusing in long classes sometimes and spacing out a lot or thinking of other things in class. 

♦  RSD in particular makes it hard for her to regulate emotions and makes her incredibly sensible to perceived [ or real] rejection. She sometimes ends up crying even when she doesn’t want to  [ ie when Snape blamed her for Merula’s prank.] It’s specially going to be harder in her younger years. 

♦  While this won’t happen for a long time, Marti’s first exposure to a boggart will reveal her biggest fear to be her family forgetting about all Jacob. 

♦   Her mirror of erised by contrast is her whole family including Jacob with Edwin smiling like he used to and her dad not looking so worn and sad as he does ever since Jacob went missing. 

FC  Emily Rudd

Older

Friends In Game:

Rowan Khana

Ben Cooper

Penny Haywood

Chiara Lobosca

MC Friends:

Vixen Mcmahen ( @rosievixen​ ) Ryan O’Donnell,  Cara O’Donnell,  Sara O’Donnell,  Conor O’Donnell ( @unfortunate-arrow​)  Finnick -Finn- Moran ( @ljbard121​ ) Cato Reese ( @catohphm​ ) Henry Mclarnon ( @that-ravenpuff-witch​ ) Lyra Wilson ( @cursebreakerfarrier​ )

If you wanna talk about your MC being friends with Marti let me know

[daughterofanarcissistwoman]

Being the children of a narcissistic parent, when did you realise something was wrong with them, and came to the conclusion that you must leave their environment?

Answer from:

https://www.quora.com/Being-the-children-of-a-narcissistic-parent-when-did-you-realise-something-was-wrong-with-them-and-came-to-the-conclusion-that-you-must-leave-their-environment/answer/Christina-Looney-5?ch=10&share=e14c4345&srid=C7yPi

~ It was seeing the relationships my friends had with their own mothers that I knew my relationship with my mother was abnormal. Everyday when my sister and I got off the school bus, we were anxious as to what kind of mood we were coming home to. Sometimes the mere sight of us seemed to annoy her. We were constantly on eggshells. When we were finished doing our daily chores (including yard work), which was a lot for our ages when you had a parent at home all day without kids in the house, we would hide in our rooms or be outside until it got dark.

~ If I gave her hugs and kisses, I was always quickly dismissed. If I accomplished anything good, she’d blow me off to my face but brag about it to everyone on the phone. Any trivial thing we did wrong, we were berated for.. This was not “discipline” as we were made to believe, this was hatred. You could see the hatred in her face and hear it in her voice while she was yelling at us...

~ I was told as a child that her own mother tried to get her to have an abortion while pregnant with me. I never understood the point of her telling me this. To thank her for giving me life? To owe her for all her struggles to have me?

~ The things she would say to us were horrible, her words broke down any self-esteem we had.

~ One day I’d be the “good daughter” and my sister would be the scapegoat and in the blink of an eye, our roles would reverse.

~ If she made me cry, I was told I was over sensitive and needed to “toughen up”.

~ In public, everything looked fine but in private it was tense and uncomfortable all the time waiting for the next thing that would set her off.

~ Any time we’d have an opportunity to succeed, we were held back in some way. If we succeeded despite her, we were belittled for it or told we were conceited or acting like we were too good for something.

~ My sister and I had no right to privacy. Any journal, diary or letter we ever had was read. Anything we confided to her about was blabbed about to her friends or family members and used against us later on and thrown in our faces. Even as adults, we were both assigned journaling from our therapists as part of our therapy and self expression, my mother went through our adult things, betrayed any trust and read our therapy journals. The only things that concerned her about them, not surprisingly, were the entries about our relationships with her. She played the victim with that one hard-core! Our deepest thoughts and feelings were completely discarded and invalidated.

~ My sister moved out at 17 and I moved out as soon as I turned 18 and graduated high school a semester early. We couldn’t get out fast enough. We weren’t prepared at all for adulthood and we weren’t prepared for success at all, no aspirations or means for college or trade schools. We had to start from scratch, entirely on our own.

~ Neither of my parents believed that I had what it took to handle (military basic training) but after growing up under their roof, it wasn’t anything I hadn’t already been through except no one hit me in basic training.

~ While the physical abuse has stopped, the verbal and emotional abuse has not. She tries to pit my sister and I against each other constantly. When I finally stood up for myself and told her I didn’t appreciate being bad mouthed by her and that her toxic games needed to stop, I was called ungrateful and disrespectful and told to stay away from her.

~ I still cannot for the life of me figure out what it is I’m supposed to be grateful to her for. I’m grateful for existing but if I didn’t, I wouldn’t have any awareness of that. Am I supposed to be grateful that she’s drained me financially on more than one occasion, has never paid me back once and expects more? That she lies to me and about me? That I have done (up until now) everything she’s ever demanded or expected of me and it’s never good enough? That I know I will never have the relationship and love I have always begged, needed and hoped for from her? You’d think she’d have a clear view of what not to do when her relationship with her own mother is strikingly similar.

~ I have gone no contact, finally because I need to take care of myself (mentally and emotionally) and my own family. My husband has been on the outside looking in on this and he sees the manipulation before I do. He put his foot down last year and told me it was about time I focus on myself. Once I did that and didn’t drop everything to rescue my mother from a new drama or crisis, the majority of which is brought on by herself, the guilt trips became extreme. She was texting my daughter behind my back from my fathers phone, she must really think I’m stupid. She drug me through the mud to anyone who’d listen, including my sister. She flat out lied to my sister about things I have said or done. I sent my sister screenshots of messages between my mother and I to show her both sides that my mother conveniently lied about or excluded to make herself look like the victim when she’s really the instigator. Why would any mother drive wedges between her own daughters and their father? To control the information and remain the center of attention?

~ I have never found a reason to beat (my daughter) or hit her and I cannot even fathom doing so.

~ It took (my sister and I) 39 and 41 years to understand that we have a right to our feelings and the right to protect ourselves, even if it’s from our own mother.

~ I apologize that this is so long but getting it all out, no holds barred is cathartic. I would’ve done this anonymously but why should I? To deny myself the right to own my feelings and memories? To protect the possibility of her not finding out I wrote this after she’s already gone through my most private thoughts and feelings and used them against me? I can’t care about that anymore. What I do care about is overcoming this for myself and also offering the chance for someone to see this and identify the similarities. I care about someone reading this and hopefully understanding that it’s not their fault and never was. I care about the teenager/adult reading this and hoping they decide to put the razor blade down because they’re worthy of love, even if it’s just them loving themselves. There’s a someone reading this who believes it will never end. Remember “what you allow is what will continue”. You might be the “bad son” or “bad daughter” for walking away but in their eyes haven’t you always been the bad guy? I won’t ever say family isn’t important, it is, but only up until the point when it’s damaging you beyond repair and hurting you all the time.

~ No contact for me is just a protective measure to not subject myself to the bullshit anymore. It’s not a way to “punish” or abandon my parent. There’s a sad past, a difficult life that brought this out in her but she also has to take responsibility for her actions and if she never does (which is most likely), I won’t be caught in the middle and blamed for why she’s so unhappy anymore. Parenting is both a responsibility and a sacrifice, but parents shouldn’t resent their kids because of that. I’m not angry for the material things I wasn’t given as a child/teenager, I’m angry for the encouragement and tangible opportunities that were intentionally taken away from me out of spite. There are many which I did not list because this is long enough. I’ve done everything a “good” daughter could possibly do. I’ve stayed by her side when she was sick, I’m the one that made the weekend drive to her house when she’s only been to my home maybe five times, I’ve given more money than I can count at the expense of my own family, I’ve loved her regardless of her cruelty and betrayal, I’ve sided with her in every family disagreement (there are countless and I’m left wondering what the real truth is) without question even if she was flat out wrong. I don’t, nor have I ever, deserved the way she has treated me. Besides, I’m too damn old to be so naive, passive and gullible. Also, I can’t bear to listen to her convenient, religious hyperbole when she has never practiced what she preaches. Her on again off again religion suddenly appears when she’s wrong and called out on it.

[phoebehalliwell]

Ok so like I know it won’t happen but how would Sheridan and Warren feel about meeting their younger twin cousins Tam & Kat? Because then they wouldn’t be the only twin in the family plus the chaos of having mutiole sets of twins in one place would be amazingly hilarious! Like everyone is like Tam/Kat/Sheridan/Warren NOOO and they’re like >:3c ✨

[who tf are these kids so glad you asked warren & sheridan and tam & kat]

i feel like that would be a really wild ride bc i feel like as sets of twitches one would think they are very similar but they are indeed actually like. very different. i mean a there’s this age delta of like 7 years so that’s one thing so you’d have two grown as dudes and two teenagers but then there’s also differences like. tam and kat each have their own unique set of powers while warren and sheridan have identical powers. tam and kat were raised within magic by a charmed one in a happy could with a younger brother and a boatload of cousins they’re insanely close to warren and sheridan were raised by jack. tam and kat know how to preserve sea slugs warren and sheridan don’t even know why you would need to know this. and, of course, the major difference between the two is tamora and kat have a psychic link and warren and sheridan definitely do not nor do they want one. like for starters if they had the ability to be in each others head the odds of them just using that skill to annoy the other is like through the roof but also it’s like. tamora and kat’s subconsciousness are linked like their dreams border each other and like overlap and i think warren and sheridan would genuinely rather be lobotomized than let the other take a stroll around their dreams. but i mean like beyond that just like their dynamics with the other are insanely different like kat literally ran off to italy and tamora stayed behind in sf and they’re just like. fine with that. whereas warren and sheridan have never ever actually like. lived apart. and in the back of their minds they know at some point that’s gonna happen but like hey man that’s my twin brother i know him i know he’s a fucking idiot and i don’t trust him not to get himself killed. like both tam and kat have done solo vanquishes where they didn’t even like mention anything to their twin bc like. they were busy doing this vanquish. warren and sheridan are a lot more attached at the hip when it comes to magic i mean they also have a lot less experience but like if kat every mentioned casually that she’s currently living on the other side of the globe from her twin w&s would short circuit (and if that didn’t do the trick tam and kat being like yeah i mean it’s never like we’re cut off from each other bc u know like the psychic link would Definitely send warren and sheridan over the edge).

that being said similarities i mean for starters both are twin sets where they’re identical but one twin has short hair and the other long so if they ever met i feel like someone has to comment on that bc like. hey does the author have some weird need to visually distinguish identical twins in an easy-to-read way? yes. also it’s a spilt where one twin’s gay and the other’s straight (kat being a lesbian, warren being bisexual, and tamora and sheridan both being like the lone heterosexuals out of everyone they know) but like. beyond that i think both twins definitely have this stubbornness and like. a tendency not to involve parental figures in their work bc they want to prove that they can do it on their own. there’s also like. a sense of impulsivity to them all in varying degrees ranking sheridan kat warren tam but like. in a wstk team up a battle plan probably will not be drawn they’ll say the vibes of the situation and then like. go time.

if i were to spin a yarn for a tamora kat warren sheridan team up i would set it in warren and sheridan’s world and simply for convenience i’m keeping them both at the ages they are in their respective stories so 18 and 22 and i’m not entirely sure of the circumstances which would land tamora and kat anywhere but the sets would id each other when someone freezes somewhere and they hey who’s that moving over there there’d be introductions where tamora and kat are like hi we’re tamora and kat mitchell and they’re like a lil confused when that gets no reaction bc quite frankly like they are the daughters of a charmed one and where they’re from the majority of witches & other magical beings know their name bc like. they do. and this only gets weirder where warren and sheridan are like we’re warren and sheridan halliwell and kat’s like no ur not. and they’re like excuse me? and she’s like ur last name. and they’re like yeah?? halliwell???? and tamora and kat are like yeah??? bc again where they’re from this name carries insane weight to pose as a halliwell w/o having the last name would be fucking insane but where warren and sheridan are from the charmed ones died in a basement in 2005 halliwell name going with it and also they really don’t know that much about their mom’s side of the family anyways so their like i don’t get what you’re not getting here our last name legally is like halliwell it’s from our mom’s side and tamora and kat are like Who is your mom????? and they’re like her name was prue and tam and kat are like !!!!!!!! what the fuck. what the fuck? and warren and sheridan are like okay. what. and tamora and kat are like hi thrilled to meet u we’re ur cousins. and warren and sheridan are like cool and immediately try to freeze them to talk amongst themselves but then realizes that Doesn’t Work bc they’re Also Witches and they’re like well fuck. new plan we take them back to the house and we hold swizzlesticks in their face (the house cat, a familiar) and go off the cat’s reaction. so blah blah blah tamora and kat are like trying to explain no no no see your mom was a part of the charmed ones right and warren and sheridan are like okay i think that was mentioned in passing idk what that means tho and kat and tam are like fr? whatever we don’t have time the point is in our world prue died and they’re like oh no don’t worry she died in our world too and tam and kat are like oh. my condolences the point is the charmed ones were reconstituted when piper and phoebe (your aunts) found our mom, who was their half sister, an illegitimate child patty had with her whitelighter. and warren and sheridan are like okay cool. the fuck is a whitelighter? and tam and kat are like !!!! bc how tf can you be a halliwell and be so far removed from magic next stop obvi would be the manor which was been magically secured to the nines debatable whether or not they break in warren and sheridan might have like a couple memories i mean less like memories and more like vibes from when they were raised in the manor for 90 seconds and um. they’re definitely getting a premonition of prue’s death, and then also the reconstitution of the po3 with paige for good measure confirming tk’s story. then the mission is obviously find whatever it was that sent tam and kat here and get them back and uhh breaking into the manor was of no use bc when piper phoebe and paige completely remade their identities and faked their death like they took the book with them. they’re not just gonna leave it in the house lmao. and so tam and kat are like okay magic school? and warren and sheridan are like What Down and the girls open a door into magic school to find it totally decimated and almost entirely deteriorated after the death of the charmed ones evil tried to claim it which ate away at the core of magic school until it was uninhabitable. so that’s a no go. okay warren and sheridan what do you do. and they’re like um okay so there’s the school library. and there’s google. and we have some friends who are witches. and tam and kat are like you have friends who are witches but still have never heard of like. the charmed ones. and warren and sheridan are like hey man they’re not Witches Witches they’re like. witch practitioner. but they’re good and they like. know plants and stuff. and of course worse comes to worse fun fact most demons aren’t expecting you to punch them so like. that also works. and tamora and kat are like okay cool what i’m hearing is we’re gonna be trapped in this world forever. but i think it would be a really nice blend of warren and sheridan learning the craft (these lads don’t even know how to scry 💀) and tamora and kat really taking a step back bc they were raised in a world immersed in magic and really have never like. seen the craft done in this way. and i think like they can definitely learn some lessons here. also debatable whether or not kat brings her sword but if she does warren and sheridan would Totally lose their shit. and would probably buy swords 4 themselves.

[eve-mega-theory]

My theory on Eve’s MVs, from Sister to Raison D’etre

People have asked, and since no one else has yet (and since I’ve always wanted to do it), I’ve went and put together a theory that connects all of Eve’s MVs into a single large narrative about the cycle of depression. Since I go over every song in-depth, and each song is filled with detail and complexity, it’s long. I actually had to skip over a lot of little details making this, because if I did the length would just get out of hand. Also keep in mind that I’m not assuming my theory to be the “one true meaning.” I just took a lot of personal meaning from this series, and its portrayal of depression and how to overcome it has helped me immensely. I want to do these videos, which are clearly labors of love, some justice.

*I’m going to put time stamps for the other songs to make things easier to follow. It's not required, but I recommend that you rewatch the previous songs as you read.

**Each of the early videos have a dominant color to them, which is often used in later MVs to subtly reference them, which I’ve listed next to the title.

Sister (Red):

The first Eve MV released was Demon Dance Tokyo, but I believe the 1st, and arguably most important video in the timeline is Sister. The MC suffers from severe depression throughout the series, and this is where it originated from. His sister died in an accident while he was young, and he was overcome with guilt that he was so distant from her while she was alive. He felt like this happened because he was rotten to the core, with him declaring that even if he went back in time, he still would've made the same mistakes, because that's just the kind of person he is. He ends up repressing those memories to deal with the guilt, and he becomes distant from people. The video's expressed entirely through notebook paper and paper mache because as a child, the MC was fond of drawing and sketching, and used this to cope with these difficult times and express himself.

Chocolate Town (Brown):

This song’s pretty easy to miss, as it’s under the account of the artist “Sou,” who did many collaborations with Eve in the past. It’s sung by Sou, but written by Eve, and it shares too many similarities with his city-scape series to be ignored. It fits perfectly in between “Sister” and “Demon Dance Tokyo.” There’s a large time skip between the two songs, in which the MC goes from grief-stricken child to selfish teenager, and this song fills in that gap, making for a more seamless transition. His appearance here is more similar to that of “Sister” (0:15), as he tries to live the way he used to. The world is no longer a rose-tinted explosion of color, but a uniform chocolate brown, more sickening and suffocating than sweet (0:51). He doesn’t experience new things anymore, he just stays in his comfort zone and drowns himself in the things he knows, as he’s locked in place by a vague apprehension that eats away at him (0:21). He’s suppressed the memory of his sister, but the guilt remains. That guilt leaves him unable to connect with people the way he used to, out of fear of hurting or being hurt. The ‘book of spells’ from Nonsense Literature is referenced, as the MC keeps the deeper parts of his heart locked away (1:30). As he grows distant, his friends do the same (“Mason does seem quite superstitious,” which you could take to mean the MC’s real name is Mason) [0:32].  He tries to just ignore it and go with the flow (0:36), but it’s not enough. The tries to drown himself in desire to ignore the pain he’s feeling (1:10). Deep down he knows it’s wrong, but the guilt he feels keeps him trapped (1:15). 

In the second half of the song, it’s revealed that after Ano Ko Secret, the MC successfully worked up the courage to talk to the blue haired girl, and a friendship formed (2:00). As shown in later MVs, the two would play on the playground together, and we see here that even during this difficult time, the MC felt complete when he was with her. Even so, here she’s obscured in chocolate, showing that the MC is unable to see outside his own problems. Because of his selfishness, he’s unable to connect and they grow apart (2:08). Losing her hurts him, as he lost the only real friend he had left, so all that’s left to him is his suffocating city of chocolate (2:30). He tries to just keep enjoying his little comforts and joys (2:45), but it’s not enough as his “heart is destitute” (3:08). His pain and guilt continues to eat away at him from the inside. Being alone isn’t enough for him, and he won’t let himself truly connect with other people. Combine that with his focus on simple pleasures, and it’s no surprise that he turns to being on top of the ‘social heirarchy’ as a teenager in “Demon Dance Tokyo.” 

Demon Dance Tokyo (Green):

This song depicts 3 people touring around Tokyo, dressed in the finest clothes and dining on the finest food. In actuality, this city is in the MC's head, and is a metaphorical manifestation of his psyche. That's the style and layout of this series, they all take place in the MC's head, and almost all are in a city that changes from song to song to reflect his mental state. In this case, he sees this touristy, trendy world because he's like a desperate tourist, trying to run away from his problems by flying off somewhere else and drowning in the superficial; food, parties, clothes, women, etc. Since he repressed his guilt over his sister's death, this is how he chases happiness; by running away from that guilt and chasing materialistic fulfillment. Relationships to him are the same way. He just chases after people who look trendy and beautiful to him, and puts on a fake mask to appear cool. That greed is personified by his crocodile form dining on the women and the massive Godzilla towering over the city. He wants to be above everyone. At 2:40 of that song, his undercurrent of loneliness takes over, as it often does, because those kinds of relationships never last. At 2:57, that loneliness overcomes him, making him desperate. He's still selfish and bad at relationships, but he swears to one girl that he'll be her everything on matter what. This leads into the next song....

Nonsense Literature (Black):

This is where things really get bad for the MC. Out of desperate loneliness, he tries to get into a serious relationship with this girl (maybe one of the girls from the last song), but he doesn’t really know how to connect with people anymore, putting thick mental walls between them. Despite regularly meeting with the girl, he doesn't really know her at all,which is why she has a cone on her head throughout the video. As a result, their relationship is no more than "becoming idiots, dancing on air," so it doesn't take long for them to start fighting and disagreeing, at 1:16. Since he refuses to open up to her, he starts to feel trapped and bitter around her, becoming paranoid at 1:29, and eventually believing she's taking advantage of him and lying to him, that she doesn't understand him at all, that he doesn't even understand himself, that he might be going a bit crazy, but they keep hanging out, during 1:42. At 2:00, he can't take it anymore. "I lost my composure when you laughed at me in scorn;" either he was genuinely betrayed by her or he just misunderstood. Either way, that betrayal severely damages him, and depression takes over hard. While you see many tiny dancing demons throughout these MVs, the main face of his depression is the mysterious cloaked One-Eyed Man. He essentially acts as the devil on his shoulder, feeding him all the worst ideas, telling him to protect only himself, morality be damned, and believing that he's doing it for his sake, that he's protecting him. In this case, he uses this moment of weakness after his betrayal to take control of the MC. He rips his guts out, opens up his head, and stuffs it with books. It’s the same as whispering into his ear "you don't need people, they'll only hurt you. You don’t need this world, it will only hurt you. I’m all you need. Use this sharpened blade of words to ensure no one will ever do this to you again." The MC, smiling, gratefully accepts. He cuts ties with that girl, as well as the rest of the world. He's become a monster: safe, but empty.

Dramaturgy (Light Blue):

This one is basically "depression the song." This time the world is like a stage play, with the MC being an actor. After shutting himself out from the world, he's lonelier than ever before, his self esteem skyrocketed down, and his life has come to a screeching halt. He no longer even feels human. Every day is a struggle just to keep on living. By making the whole world into the enemy, he's incapable of revealing any of himself to them, disassociating to the point that he might as well be just an actor wearing a mask. He's trapped even within the safety of his own mind. If you act only how everyone wants you to act all the time, eventually you feel like there are actual physical walls all around you. It's exhausting to keep up, and you start to forget who you are. He’s also developed an inferiority complex, and a fear of other people. He just doesn’t want to be betrayed again. At 2:13, he wants to reach a climax where he breaks out of these walls around him, but he can't do it, because he NEEDS them, they’re there to protect him. The One-Eyed Man makes sure he never forgets this. At 3:28, we get a kaleidoscope zoom-in to the MC's psyche, which stops at a floating white cube. These cubes contain him at his deepest level, his fundamental perception of himself. His hopelessness, and the One-Eyed Man's words have reached to his very core and torn him apart at the deepest level. At 3:48, he's lost himself. He likely becomes a shut-in at this point as well, only doing the most basic necessities and heading straight to his room when he gets the chance.

As You Like It (Yellow):

You might’ve noticed that although yellow’s the most prevalent, this MV has plenty more color to offer. It's probably the most colorful so far even. Not only that, the pacing's way faster, the music more upbeat. Why would this come immediately after the most depressing and hopeless song yet? That's because this song is in the MC's imagination, like a daydream. While he's lost almost all hope, trapped in his own head and unable to move forward, he's still able to cling to hope by escaping reality into this fantasy. In this escapist world, he's cooler, a popular musical artist, singing his heart out to a big crowd. And he's able to conquer his fears, deal with his stresses, and connect with a girl the way he wishes he could. After all, while he doesn’t let himself connect with others out of fear, whether he realizes it or not,he just wants to be loved and understood. So he makes up this ideal fantasy girl with perfect fashion taste (0:03), who can do that for him. In the song, he represses his true self in the form of the Glove-Mask Man so that he can deal with life’s stresses (which hit him one after the other at 0:35, and are symbolized by the rocket taking off at 0:22), and he disassociates, literally splitting into two people. He starts to struggle against him (1:33) so that his honest self can reach her, and he finally pulls it off at the end, her responding with a wholehearted smile (3:26). A perfect conclusion. Thing is, his ideal girl is a reflection of reality as well. The playground at 0:28, where he wishes he could go back to his childhood memories, partly shows that he’s letting his past drag him down, but he also describes talking with this girl in memories of old, because he had a real-life friend when he was young that he would talk with at a similar playground. She is his goal in these dreams, because he never forgot those times they had together, and he has subconsciously idealized her as a result. On a sadder note, this fantasy also confirms that he’s become a shut-in in reality, as we see him lock himself away in his room (1:02). That’s what he wishes he could escape from. Regardless of the truth behind the scenes, this dream of his gives him hope that he’ll get through this difficult time.

Outsider:

Now we leave the escapism and return to the MC’s mind he’s trapped in. All the past colors come into play here, as we see that the only color in his world comes from these past scars and experiences. He can’t see anything else, he’s painted by them. The test tubes everywhere (0:59) show that he's genuinely trying to deal with his pain by organizing and compartmentalizing it, and by grasping onto hope with his fantasy, he's able to get by. But he's not at all perfect at it, with his little demon-monsters knocking over test-tubes and purposely painting each other. The pipes everywhere all lead to his brain, with each of them pumping these experiences and memories into him. It’s like they’re in his blood stream, a part of him. These pipes also nourish past monsters, like the Godzilla monster depicting his narcissism. He’s come to hate these less desirable parts of himself, so at 1:30 he tries to just break the tubes to sever that part of him, but that just breaks the overall flow, flooding his brain with black, bringing him back to square one. You can’t just get angry at yourself and remove all your flaws. It takes immense time and dedication. This accidental overflow causes some of the monsters to transform into even worse forms. At 3:02 he's sitting next to an especially nasty-looking demon, shaded black and red. This demon is a reminder that his refusal to confront his guilt toward his sister is at the heart of all of this. He keeps struggling with himself, hating himself, and he won’t tackle the fundamental problems. But at least he’s fighting. The last lyric "because this tiny bit of courage will ignite the fire in my heart," shows that just by being aware of the struggle, he's trying to change and improve, he's not giving up.

Tokyo Ghetto:

This song takes place after a lot of time has passed. His cityscape is more dilapidated and volatile. Now, instead of the One-Eyed Man, the prime demon in control is the blue robot with the teeth mask. The robot symbolizes anxiety, a primal, damn near uncontrollable feeling which desires to keep him here by any means. He’s always watching, and he’s not afraid to get physical against the MC when push comes to shove. The shady-looking people in the town are extensions of that anxiety, individual worries and fears. This is why the town is more colorful, yet somehow more harsh and uninviting. All this time has allowed the anxiety to get in his head, to drive his imagination wild and fill his heart with more and more worries. He wants to believe these worries are on his side, but they just want the easiest path(1:41), they don’t give a damn about his wishes. The MC makes meager attempts to escape from the hell of his own mind, always being swiftly pulled back into a never-ending cycle (0:40). After a long while of this, he meets a girl who he sees much of himself in, and he reaches out to someone for the first time in a long while, in the hopes of maybe being saved by her (1:02). Problem is, she acts the same way he used to back in Tokyo Dance, and he winds up getting a taste of his own medicine. Every time he tries to get close to her, she just pushes him away. Like him, she’s actually hiding pain from the past too; she just refuses to show it (2:01, “it was sentimental, though it wasn’t like you at all) . At 2:40, we get a full glimpse into her mind. Many pairs of her shoes are bound together all around her, symbolizing that day after day she ties herself down, and the holy statue behind her symbolizes her holier-than-thou attitude. At 2:55, she happily bites into one of those shoes, drawing her own blood. She hasn’t yet learned that her self-destructive lifestyle isn’t the right way to go. At 2:59, we see their two psyches summed up perfectly. The girl, shrouded in darkness, putting up a cool front and slowly losing herself, standing confidently all the while. The MC, aware that he’s in a bad place, but desperately groveling, searching for any kind of escape at all. Without being able to find solace in the girl, shadows grow, the town floods, monsters come out of the sewers, the Blue Robot gathers his power (2:55). The MC’s anxiety is bubbling up as his desperation to find an escape increases. He’s pinned down by the water (symbolizing stress and struggle to change), and with the girl out of his reach, merely electing to watch him crumble, the Blue Robot is free to strike with all his might, revealing his true, monstrous form (3:48). The MC, in his weakened state, is torn to bits, reduced to trash (4:01). He’s back to square one, and the cycle begins again. He remains trapped in the Tokyo Ghetto.

Ambivalent:

After being trapped in that cycle for so long, the MC decides that he needs to do some serious soul searching. He looks deep into his subconscious, deeper than any song that’s come before. He peers all the way into his basic, fundamental outlook on life, to try to get to the heart of the problem. Keep in mind that he’s not trying to commit to any real action; he’s just introspecting, trying to take a look at his core values. This world is split in two sectors: the safe pink room, where his heart and memories lie, and the planet, which symbolizes change and reality, or rather his perception of it. He’s been resting in the pink room, stagnant, for so long that everything is overgrown, and his heart is weak, without motivation. Even resting is exhausting for him, something he’s only able to do thanks to his yellow wheelchair representing his hopes (As You Like It). The MC wants to understand why he can’t venture out onto that planet. Every time he tries, it’s a labyrinth of endless signs all telling him to stop and turn back. The plants themselves attack and hurt him. It’s a volatile world full of unknowns and hostiles. The source of this hostility is the disagreement between him and the cat, who's with him at all times here (1:26). Believe it or not, this cat is the One-Eyed Man’s true form. He doesn’t appear mysterious or “all-seeing” because the MC is self-aware of the One-Eyed Man’s influence, and he’s just thinking in the safety of his room; the One-Eyed Man has no power without perceived danger. He’s a cat because he represents the primal part of us from long before humanity developed complicated cognitive ability and intelligence. He only cares about the MC's safety and desires, and doesn’t give a damn about anything or anyone else. He was always watching, acting as the hidden voice behind every decision. When the MC wanted to run away from the pain of his sister's death (Sister), he helped him. When the MC desired safety from the world above all else (Nonsense Literature), he granted it to him. When he struggled with depression (Dramaturgy), deep down that desire never actually left. When that desire became the core of his being, the cat even created the Blue Robot as a sort of "hired muscle" to keep the MC in check for his own good. Despite the awfulness of the One-Eyed Man's actions, he’s just granting the MC's wishes. He genuinely cares about the MC and wants what’s best for him; that’s why he’s so cute and small. But the MC has been blaming him for all of his problems, without understanding his own responsibility in the matter, leaving them at an impasse (1:26). They both come to understand their disagreement with the words: “when I was a kid, I picture myself as a main protagonist in this world. I started to get embarrassed so I turned my eyes away.” (1:36). He's finally come to accept and understand his share of the blame, rather than just blaming the cat. His hair being green here could also show that he never truly grew past his selfishness after all this time. He begins to recall all the things he’s taken for granted and ignored in his life, and he realizes he wants to protect them (1:48). He doesn’t want to just be selfish, he wants to live for their sakes and be useful to them. Now that they’re talking on even terms, the cat can understand his desire for selflessness and gives him a match. They've agreed to stop letting memories of fear and pain that have long since passed guide their every move, so they burn them away (2:00). Those times won’t disappear, but it doesn’t mean they can’t move beyond them. The cat now realizes he was being overprotective, and that the MC can make his own decisions, so he decides to try and get out of his way (2:15). The MC's world is no longer centered around his own desire; he can see the 'bigger picture' (2:24). But while the cat is taking a more reserved role in his life, he didn't completely disappear (2:55). After all, desire is what gives our lives meaning. The difference is that the two are now a pair bringing out the best in one another, a balanced mix of selflessness and desire. Now that they’re in agreement, a world of possibilities is open to them, and the MC is ready to reach out and grab them, and begin his life again (3:01).

Last Dance:

The MC has now returned to the outer layers of his mind, and he wants to turn his newfound paradigm shift into action. Due to this shift, the city’s layout has gotten more realistic, lively, elegant, and inviting, far closer to the real world. He and his demons are hiding from it all at the center of his mind, a small, comfy room resting above a black center (2:32). This is to show that the MC is aware that the real world wasn't the problem; his own outlook was. His nails are being painted red by a demon to show how long he’s been letting these memories paint him without fighting back (0:22). He doesn’t blame them though, he understands himself and how this all came to be, so he gives one of his demons a hug (0:25). The room is more organized and homey to reflect his understanding. But he sees how small his world has been, and he wants to try and get out. He’s decided what he wants to do, but still easily comes apart when trying to move (0:37). He's put back together, revived by the support of the One-Eyed Man, who's lost his overbearing, omnipresent appearance, and learned to keep his dark side more under control (0:41). It's possible he's even taken on 3 different forms simultaneously, to reflect how both he and the MC now understand his multifaceted nature (0:47, 1:00, and 1:03). So the MC is spiritually strong, but he still unravels in the face of anxiety. At 0:33, he says “with different values, that guy who I hate put on a ridiculous sneer," referring to the Blue Robot, his main enemy. Even though the One-Eyed Man created the Blue Robot, it was never in his control. Anxiety doesn't think for itself; it's a raw, unfiltered emotion that carries out its objective long after its needed. The MC can't beat it alone, even with the One-Eyed Man's help. He realizes he absolutely needs the support of others if he’s going to move forward, and he needs a goal to get him moving in the short-term. He recalls the thing that’s given him hope for all this time, the person who was at the center of all his hopes for tomorrow, and the person he wants to protect most (1:52). It was a girl who spent time with him back when his sister first died. He was in a dark place and full of guilt, and that girl’s kindness gave him hope. But he drifted apart from her due to feeling guilty that he didn’t deserve to be around someone like her, that he would only get in her way. But he always idealized her, and those memories kept him going long after they stopped meeting. The elegant woman dancing is his perception of that memory (1:52). She’s also the girl from As You Like It, but that version of her was only a fantasy he himself didn’t even realize was based on her. She’s here because he only now consciously realized this, and he wants to reach out to her again and start over, without being selfish or afraid. Now fully motivated, he vows to be like “the melancholic patients who chose tomorrow,” and venture out into the world in spite of fear (2:12). He’s taking a leap of faith, venturing on a thin balance beam along with all his demons (3:02-3:32). Obviously they won’t really leave, since they’re a part of his psyche now. He has to understand and accept them, thereby rendering them harmless, or at least manageable. He reaches the girl (3:36), but before this point, he realized something about her. Notice that her hair is painted a light blue, the color of Dramaturgy? This means that throughout the song, upon examining his memories of her more closely, he realizes that she wasn’t as perfect as he was choosing to remember her. In reality, she was suffering too, and the reason they drifted apart so easily was because they both felt undeserving of each other. Deep down a part of him always knew, but when he gets a taste of the blue paint, (2:14) it's the first time he consciously considers the idea. When she tears off her hair and he gently caresses it, he accepts that her pain was real (3:15). He's finally taken the physical journey out of his mind, and he gives her a gentle, honest smile; a far cry from his actions in Demon Dance Tokyo (3:35). At 3:58, the One-Eyed Man gives the MC a book from Nonsense Literature, this time as an honest offering. The One-Eyed Man will help him through this new chapter as a partner, rather than a controlling force.

We’re Still Underground (Orange):

Now it’s time for the grand finale, We’re Still Underground, in which everything finally comes together in the most stunning video so far. This video marks the first time the MC has ever accepted the real physical world in the entire series. After Last Dance, he’s finally venturing outside of his room and moving forward again. As a result, this video is the real world mixed together with his mind. It’s almost like a fantasy world, filled with weird and unknown things. After all, in Last Dance he said “I will not understand everything right now,” but he’s still going to move forward. The camera shows reality, then pans down to the MC’s perception of things. His mind is now jaw-droppingly beautiful and full of color and life. The crows from Tokyo Ghetto are now beautiful pink birds, and big flying ‘monsters’ personify his newfound hope and optimism (0:14). The world is filled with vegetation and vines, similar to the blue planet from Ambivalent. Again, this is all new and uncertain to him, so it’s covered with the same vegetation. At 0:20, we see that much of the city is flooded, calling back to the water from Tokyo Ghetto. He’s moving forward, but much of the world is closed off to him due to that stress and worry. At 0:28, cloth being hung like laundry symbolizes how the MC is more collected and calm than before. We zoom into the house he’s spent so much time in, and it’s dark, overcrowded, and filled with masks symbolizing his mental journey (0:35). As an added bonus, his hair is orange, which is the color we’d often see in Outsider when all the colors were mixed together. He finally ventures out to fulfill a basic task, buying from a gas station, but even that proves to be a little too much. The people around him are shifty looking like in Tokyo Ghetto, and eventually a big octopus busts in and forces him to leave and settle for a vending machine (0:40). Both in the gas station and vending machine, you see the eye from the One-Eyed Man marking various items and signs, symbolizing that he’s using desire for the end goal and new things drive him forward (0:41, 0:43, and 0:46). The lyrics here are him wondering if he’s good enough for the girl he’s going to try and meet again, and deciding that if she’s hurting so much, then he needs to help her through it. Meanwhile, we finally learn who this girl he looks up to actually is. She looks very different from any version the MC had in his mind, dressing quite plain and modest, and having both blue hair and blue eyes, perhaps to symbolize her Dramaturgy-type depression. We learn that that song sums her up pretty well, but her depression still takes a somewhat different form from the MC. She’s not afraid to go out, but the life she’s living is completely dictated by other people. She’s afraid to do anything for herself. This is why she receives texts from the One-Eyed Man, and her world looks so realistic, dark, and rainy. She believes this is the only possible road for her, that THIS is reality. She’s like the opposite of the MC; she’s TOO selfless, and her One-Eyed Man, her desires, have taken on the form of everyone around her, as it believes that’s the safest route for her. She herself is empty. At 0:53, the playground is fenced off; no playtime allowed, your childhood doesn’t matter, your memories don’t matter, those times you played with the MC as kids (As You Like It) don’t matter. At 0:54, she sits in her house, dejected, the zombie poster behind her a good description for her mental state, and there’s a constant hue of water all around her. She always feels like she’s drowning, anxious that something about this isn’t right, that she’s about to lose herself. Meanwhile, MC is biking over to meet her (0:59), but they both end up falling into water (1:06), drowning in anxiety right at the moment before they both meet. Once they meet, they each see an answer in each other, a person to rely on in this difficult stage of their life. The two of them are then seen running toward a sort of junkyard of gold (1:26). Now that they see hope in one another, they are able to catch a glimpse of all the good things in life that they had taken for granted, ignored, treated as trash. Upon seeing it, they decide they want to move forward, and bite into an apple, symbolizing rebirth like Adam and Eve. They’re accepting this new chapter, and all the sin and desire and change that comes with it. For a moment, at 1:40, the girl sees the world the way MC does, with the beautiful monsters and rising bubbles everywhere. She’s inspired by his hope, and realizes she’s “still underground;” something needs to change.

At 1:44, the camera pans underground to show us a web of complex piping and overgrowth. It’s meant to call back to Outsider, and I think to show that while he’s moving on and changing, he still has an undercurrent of guilt with him. At 1:49, we see the girl surrounded by posters of people. They all have one eye; she doesn’t just feel oppressed and subservient to her loved ones, she also feels like she must be obedient to society’s whims as well. The lyrics here are calling back to everything that the MC went through in the past, especially Tokyo Ghetto at 1:55, where he remembers that giving up made him feel at ease, and that he feels helpless because of it. But his hopes and dreams (2:06) kept him believing in tomorrow. We see more shots of the duality between the two of them. At 2:15 we see the girl skateboarding on a bright green skateboard, rather out of place and spontaneous, hinting that she’s playing at embracing her individuality and optimism again. (Also, at 2:20 we see a poster of an apple with the One-Eye on it. This could further imply that rebirth and upheaval are what she truly desires deep down). The line at 2:22 “I’m not saying this as a joke, but everyone mocked me,” could imply that either his selfish, fake self of old would never be listened to by others, or that the demon residents of his mind aren’t going to help him (again calling back to Tokyo Ghetto). At 2:21, both characters’ strong desires for change finally manifest in a Matrix-style “red pill, blue pill” choice. They now have to take a true leap of faith, and accept that their lives are going to change irreversibly from this point on. We don’t see them choose, but the line “It’s goodbye to this town,” speaks for itself. At 2:26, we get a badass shot of the pair as two halves of the same whole, perfectly in agreement on what must be done. They’ll support each other through what happens next. At 2:28 we see a massive protest from the less agreeable parts of his mind, likely people from Tokyo Ghetto and on the far left the glove man from As You Like It. The billboards say “No,” and “Give Up,” and some have the One-Eye on them, perhaps a plea for the One-Eyed Man to return to their side. At 2:31, the MC and girl are seen spraying graffiti in direct rebellion to everyone, perhaps a last burst of courage before making the big choice. At 2:35 we see the MC abandon his bike in a carnival, perhaps a last goodbye to his naive childhood and an acceptance of adulthood. At 2:36 we see the girl with an umbrella in the rain, which is meant to further connect her to As You Like It. At 2:45, the pair has made their choice, and the town begins its massive upheaval. At 2:51, the two are back in the playground they used to play at, swinging way up in a leap of faith, looking toward the skies. At 3:00, “there will be no rerun,” this is the moment. At 3:08, he vows not to avert his eyes anymore, to accept whatever life throws at him without running away. At 3:13, the pair move up toward the future, toward the skies. The line at 3:18 is extremely important, as the MC directly calls back to when the two were young at the playground. He remembers how the guilt they both felt kept them from relying on one another, and while he treasures the friendship they had, he wants to make sure they never grow apart like that again. 3:23 is them coming to fully understand where they went wrong at that playground, and where they went wrong after they drifted apart. The MC’s mind is filled with symbolism; books from Nonsense Literature, birds for his greed and overactive mind, board game pieces for his attempts to distract himself and shun other people, every-day appliances for his focus on basic survival rather than true living, the list goes on. The girl, however, is completely empty, just an empty husk with no will of her own. They vow that while they’ll always be imperfect, they never want to return to this state of being. They cast aside these fake, improper forms they’ve made for themselves. At 3:36, we get to see VCR tape footage, a clear sign that this is in the past, showing sketches the two shared at that playground as kids. This calls directly back to Sister’s paper notebook style. Sketching was how the MC expressed himself as a kid, so it was deeply personal for him, and it looks like for the girl too. The images of a monster boy and a magical girl with horns come across as cries for help and a desire to escape, but neither of them realized the other’s suffering. This was where it all began, at a time where neither of them really understood what was happening to them; they were just kids. The VCR tape then shuts off, we see flashes of the town, and a messy drawing of the MC saying “goodbye.” He’s finally made peace with himself, he accepts the mistakes he made, he’s saying goodbye to that naive child that was behind every decision of his, and moving on. At 3:51, the two are played in reverse, undoing the damage they’ve been causing to themselves. This is a goodbye to their self-destructive tendencies. The line “wait for the 1, 2 signal,” directly calls back to As You Like It, and how once they get the ball rolling, things are going to happen really damn fast, and they need to be ready for it. 4:03 is the epic climax, where the Blue Robot, anxiety, once again appears in a last-ditch effort to stop the two. He’s not in control anymore, and he knows this, so he reveals his true form: a massive, feral, insane, uncontrolled mess of fear that wrecks havoc all across the city, almost like it’s willing to destroy the whole thing if it has to. The two are prepared, and together they run with everything they’ve got. At 4:14, we see masses of planes dropping hellfire on the beast in an attempt to quell it. Perhaps this is the One-Eyed Man, dropping in one last bit of support for the two. Maybe it’s a show that the pair now has more control over their minds, and are finally able to fight back against the entities that used to control them. Whichever it is, it’s enough to save them, and at 4:21 the sun rises, the two safe and sound overlooking the now destroyed city. At 4:23, the cube from Dramaturgy, their core, is perfectly fine, showing that they’ll get through this massive upheaval intact. At 4:25, we see that amidst the destruction, a massive tree has sprouted up, symbolizing rebirth. Perhaps this tree was able to sprout up from the piping underneath, meaning that the two making peace with themselves allowed their pasts to finally stop clogging up their brains. Finally, the video rewinds to before their upheaval, and we see the MC’s room, this time in the real world, no strings attached. We’ve finally been shown the real life setting for the vast majority of the MVs. Not long after, the MC pukes up darkness, which is a little nod to the fact that while the world itself wasn’t technically real, the pain and struggle he was going through certainly was.

This World To You:

This song is like the epilogue of the MC’s journey. He’s overcome his inner cycle which has kept him trapped for all this time, learned to empathize and think things through (2:07), and he’s now able to confront the feelings that were at the core of this struggle all along: his guilt toward his sister. During a beautiful purple sunset, he’s bicycling through the vivid new world open to him, grieving for her and accepting that “her tomorrow’s never coming” (0:48). This acceptance hurts him (0:31), and at first it even feels like he’d rather things just remain the way they are, (0:37) but it’s the only way he can learn from his mistakes and become someone she’d be proud of. He thinks from the newly found perspective he has, and seeing things more objectively, more selflessly, he wonders how similar her life was to his (1:11). He’s seeing his sister not as a vague, hazy image built up in his head made up of his worries, anxieties, and guilt, but as a normal person, with their own worries, feelings, problems, and dreams. By empathizing with his sister, coming to terms with the improper image of her he built up in his head, he’s able to move on, and empathize with other people in a similar way. By doing this, he no longer has reason to be afraid of the world out there, and he can start to reach other people’s hearts, learning from the mistakes he made in the past. Instead of wallowing in remorse over his sister, he can be someone she’d be proud of, and help other people who are hurting in the way he couldn’t with her. This spurs him on, and although the fact that she died so early is a fact he’ll always carry with him (1:52), he’s found a hope for tomorrow he’s needed all his life (2:14). However, he also accepts that death and pain is always a possibility (2:20), and that things won’t always go his way. But instead of fall into despair, he’s able to believe that things will get better, and that he has the power to make them better, reflected in the beautiful vista filled with sea creatures swimming in the sky (2:38). The creature at 2:39 is elegant, beautiful, a sight to behold, vividly painted by all sorts of colors, a callback to Underground. Its face also looks similar to the girl he’s managed to reach, symbolizing that reaching her is one of the cores of his hope. Throughout the video, we see the city to change to reflect the MC’s stream of consciousness. At (0:02), the MC is recovering from the wreckage after the mental battle in Underground, and he’s dealing with the grief of his sister, and as he comes to terms with it, the buildings gradually get cleaner and more structured, eventually colored with lights of his empathy and understanding. At (1:51), he continues to change toward hope and acceptance, and he moves toward an industrial zone, reflecting how the city is moving forward, springing back from this change stronger than ever, rebuilding and even adding new zones and structure. At (2:12), we see the sign “think it through,” as a reminder that the one-eyed man, once a force he saw as evil, is now a friend, working with him to overcome his anxieties and fears. The signs throughout the city spatter negativity like “arrogant” and “pathetic” and “regret,” but are now mixed in with “hope” and “future” and “I would put a flag here.” Then at (2:37), his hope is stronger than ever.  Then finally, the MC’s empathy and selflessness is made manifest in a way it never has been before. At  (3:01), the MC’s city seamlessly transitions into the perspective of the girl, and at (3:20) it beautifully changes into the girl’s more realistic view of the city. By empathizing with and reaching her, part of her perspective has now become his, as he’s able to learn from her and see things more objectively. He’s come to terms with his guilt, and allowed himself to truly connect with someone. By doing this, the world has opened up to him, and he’s finally able to become a part of society. He has made it.

Baumkuchen End:

At this point the MC has managed to enter society and step into the real world without running away (0:09 and 0:16). Rather than monsters of anxiety and fear, everyone he sees are normal people just like him. However, things aren’t going quite how he thought they would. He’s not afraid anymore (0:46), but he feels surprisingly empty. The world is a little less vivid than Underground, and the MC’s hair has been colored white, blank and aimless. He’s realized that things are more complicated than he expected. He went through so much to overcome his mental hangups, and now that he’s succeeded, life is still going forward. He’s struggled with that mental cycle (symbolized by the orange and blue swirl at 0:57) for so long, that he’s having a hard time seeing past it, and he feels unsure what to do with himself now that the cycle which defined him for so long is gone (0:45, “there’s nothing left to do”). In Tokyo Ghetto, the reason he couldn’t escape from himself was that deep down, he didn’t really want to leave. Part of him wants to go back to that time where things made sense, and he could comfortably wallow in hopelessness and self-pity (0:30). It’s like he hoped that once he reached this point, the credits would roll and everyone would live happily ever after (0:34, “there seems to be no ‘critical hit,’” and 0:37, “I was expecting an answer,” and we see the MC’s many paths disappear in front of him, leaving a blank wall of vague white). Not only that, but the MC is having a harder time with empathy than he expected. He wants to see beyond himself, but his own limitations are getting in the way of that. His ego has swelled somewhat after his victory (0:41), against his better judgment. Whether he likes it or not, he’s not an omniscient being that can just teleport into other people’s perspectives and points of view; he’s a human being, with their own emotions and biases and egos, and he can only see other people through the cage of his own skin. At 0:24, he vents over this struggle, lamenting “it’s all about me,” feeling both “disgusted and separated.” He hates these limitations and how he’s growing apart from the girl he reached out to. He’s afraid of getting trapped in a never-changing rut in which he can’t reach anyone, never changes, and slowly loses himself again (symbolized by the optical illusion triangle surrounded by orange inside the MC. It’s a cycle, always moving further inward, never changing.) However, things are far from hopeless. The MC isn’t the kind to give up anymore. He’s grown, and he’s more self-aware of his predicament. Throughout the video he’s introspecting, thinking to himself (0:48) and refusing to look away from the problem (0:43, 0:29, 0:38, 0:46, all throughout the video). To deal with these newfound problems, rather than get complacent and give up, he’s decided to ‘go back to school’ (0:41 and 0:58) and accept that he still has a lot to learn, that he needs to keep improving. And this time he has plenty of help. All the sides of his mind that were once his enemies: the one-eyed man’s multiple sides, the black blob of terror, the anxiety bot, and the bull-faced man (which is a japanese symbol of young people’s perspective of society); now that he’s managed to reign them in and keep them in check, he understands that they’re a part of him and they’re not going away. So instead of shunning and hating them, he’s decided to teach them how to work together (0:58). And since they’ve always wanted to help him, they eagerly accept. Through this teacher-student relationship, he’s realizing that there’s a lot he can learn from them, and they can actually help him in positive ways, like a paradigm shift. They actually have more sides and depth to them than he realized, and by shunning and fighting them, he was suppressing important parts of himself needed to improve. For example, the MC let desire aimlessly control him for so long (1:10, a strong callback to the brown of Chocolate Town), that for the longest time he ran from and shunned it (1:12). However, that desire is actually needed to motivate oneself to learn and change. That’s why the MC’s other sides are now wearing brown (0:47), because they’re all painted by the MC’s personal desire to improve. Understanding this, at 1:15 the anxiety bot makes a “no” motion, to tell him that he shouldn’t run from it. Speaking of the anxiety bot, his appearance has changed; he looks more inviting and friendly, and isn’t defined by the blue of depression anymore. “Anxiety bot” isn’t really the right name anymore, now he should be called “Motivation bot” instead. Because of the MC’s paradigm shift, the bot isn’t focused on instilling fear anymore. It’s instead focused on giving the MC a desire to improve. Because he needs a little fear to put things into perspective and keep from getting caught in a rut. He needs that reminder that time is limited, and that if he doesn’t do something, he may very well end up lost and alone. They both believe in him and know he’s strong enough to manage, so they use that fear as drive to move forward. Anxiety’s been symbolized by water throughout these MVs, and we need water to survive, so the MC keeps it under control and make sure he only takes it in in small doses (symbolized by the water bottle at 0:44).

Now that all of this is in place, the MC can start to really confront and understand the problem. He decides that the main thing he wants motivating him is the fear that the girl is suffering, with him unable to reach her or help, basically a repeat of what happened all those years ago (1:16). He’s not going to let that happen, and we see him twirling a yellow key (1:23). This is a callback to the fantasy he dreamed up in As You Like It, and how he realizes the fight isn’t over, he still needs to make that dream real. He defiantly declares “I don’t care if it’s a lie” (1:24). He’s going to make it real. At 1:25 his other sides all proudly take the stage. This calls back to Dramaturgy, but now he’s not afraid of the stage, he embraces it confidently. Now, after deciding his next move (1:30), he takes action. His first step is to hear the girl’s perspective for himself, to ensure he doesn’t create a convenient image of her in his head like he did with his sister. At 1:33 he talks to her with the support of his other sides. He opens up to her, sharing his worries and fears (“when he gets annoyed with his daily routine, he wants to break it down”). He talks in the third person because he’s starting to look at himself without being as clouded by emotion. In response, she confides in him. She tells him that she’s still having a hard time, she’s not sure if she can manage through the day-to-day, desperately gripping the rails (1:42). At 1:45 we see a shot of stairs, symbolizing that she’s suffering an uphill battle, unable to see her destination. Not too different from the MC’s situation. The girl is in a hospital gown connected to an IV, calling back to the hospital theme of Last Dance. Whereas before she was an elegant light as he struggled sick in bed, now she’s the one who needs his help. He processes what she said (1:48), and realizes that of course just reaching out to her isn’t enough. She needs to be helped through her predicament. If anyone here’s played Persona, think social links. Just wanting to help isn’t enough. He needs to regularly make time for her, teach himself how to properly talk to her, and gain life experiences. Basically, before he can tell her how to improve her life, he needs to work to improve his OWN life, turn himself into someone she can look up to, instead of just wallowing in his uselessness. This snaps him back to reality, gets him out of his doldrum (1:52 “I was attacked by this helpless dizzy night”), and we even see him reading a self-help book. A little bonus detail, in the background of the train as the MC is fighting to improve himself, we see the girl from Tokyo Ghetto, wallowing in self-pity. Turns out letting herself be consumed by her bad habits didn’t work out so well, and now she’s all alone. It could also be the MC’s old self from Tokyo Ghetto, as a visual reminder of how far he’s come. Back on track, we see the MC visiting a bakery, and ordering a strange ring cake, a Baumkuchen (1:55). This cake appears throughout the MV, and is a visual metaphor for the MC’s current actions, and how his perspective has changed. The cake is visually similar to a tree trunk, and a tree is a symbol of strength. It lives for up to entire centuries, and almost nothing can bring it down. This is possible because of its incredibly sturdy trunk and roots dug deep into the ground. A tree has rings in its trunk as a marking of its age, and the more rings it has, the longer it’s lived. This means that the stronger and wiser a tree is, the more rings it will have. Quoting a Japanese chef who specializes in Baumkuchen, “The appeal of the cake is in its many layers. The layers represent the accumulation of happiness, making it a strong icon of luck.” Sound similar? So by purchasing this cake, he’s moved beyond the As You Like It fantasy in which he does one big thing and the credits roll. Now he understands that the story’s never really over. To keep himself from falling back into his old ways, he has to create a sturdy trunk out of many small rings. This means taking on positive habits and responsibilities that he continues constantly throughout his life; working a job, going to school, scheduling his time, learning to cook, reading books to learn. He seeks to keep getting more rings, making more roots, and never getting too set in his routine. He now understands that the battle is never truly over, and he can always improve more. That’s why he’s willing to jump off the building for the cake at 2:05, because he comes to accept its importance. Once he does that, everything clicks, and he sees the light again. At 2:08, the girl’s IV is juxtaposed against the beauty of the sky. At 2:15, the Motivation Bot acts as a sort of gatekeeper. He hears the MC’s newfound purpose, and allows him to move beyond his little apartment from 0:25. At 2:18, he becomes more self-aware. He sees the enormity of the world, and how much he has to learn, and he realizes that if he keeps assuming he’s done all he can then he won’t be able to keep up. At the same time, it’s beautiful, and full of opportunity. At 2:28, the other selves watch him with pride, and once things have sunk in, they’re there to calm him down and snap him back into reality. Now the MC’s learning from them. They listen intently, (2:33) and once he’s ready to fight to get his life together and reach the girl, the Motivation Bot gives him a big hearty throw to get him started (2:42). At 2:47 we see the chairs the MC had been resting on, painted orange and blue to symbolize his previous cycle of guilt and self-destruction. They’re now empty, as proof that the MC is finally setting himself up to move beyond that cycle. At 2:45 the girl’s anxiety and hopelessness coalesces into a teddy bear, a callback to Ano Ko Secret. This is a final challenge to the MC’s selfishness and childishness, something he must overcome to finally reach others. Since her pain is a reflection of his, he’s essentially fighting himself too, and the bear attacks him with a laser at 2:53, tearing down part of the red tower from Demon Dance Tokyo. If you remember, in that song the tower was a symbol of the MC’s memory of his sister. Now, it’s being damaged because if the MC can’t grow beyond his past mistakes, he won’t learn from the mistakes he made with his sister, and he won’t be doing her life justice. 2:54 calls back to the MC’s fall at the beginning of As You Like It, a symbol of his frustration and hopelessness toward his situation, but now when he hits the ground (2:59), he takes it in stride, grits his teeth, and keeps running. At 3:04, he uses everything to fight to reach the girl; the memory of his sister, the help of his other selves, his positive habits and drive to improve. At 3:14, for the first time, the girl’s eye is colored with orange, meaning the MC’s efforts have truly touched her. At 3:16, the MC successfully reaches the girl, with the help of all his other sides supporting him. He’s made it,  and at 3:20 the glove man from As You Like It gives him a round of applause. He’s sitting in the orange-blue chair, he’s nothing more than a dream. The MC has accepted that the battle doesn’t just end, made his dream real, and the glove man is proud of him for that. At the beginning of the video, at 0:19, the explosion from As You Like It rocked the MC and girl’s world, but this time he was ready for it, looked straight ahead, and overcame that trial he feared so much. The MC’s journey will continue, and he’ll be ready for whatever comes.

Raison D'etre: 

 The MC reached the girl, and that's deeply affected her. The MC realized he could only help her after helping himself. By being a living example of what she wishes to be, she not only knows she isn't alone, she's also starting to understand what she needs to do. This video is the first time we see solely in the girl's mind rather than the MC. Her outlook's changed from the pure blue of sadness to a mix of the black of discontent and the yellow of hope. As she leaves her now messy room, going about her daily routine, she starts to get lost in introspective thought, likely something she hasn't done in a long time. Her falling into the underground of her mind, it looks similar to Ambivalent. That's because we're looking deep in her subconscious mind, seeing her fundamental outlook. It's like the mind of a child; pieces of an amusement park, a mess of toys and blocks. Our previous looks at her were almost barren of imagination; grey, lifeless, mundane. But here it's full of color and life. This shows all her deeper emotions and hopes were buried deep down inside her, and she kept from becoming totally empty by making sadness her purpose, her identity. Atop it all, we see the queen of this place, an alternate version of her with her old all-blue color scheme. An imposing crescent moon presides over the entire city, and the blue girl wears a similar crescent as a mask. A crescent moon is merely the first stage of the moon's cycle. It's perpetually a crescent moon here because the girl never moves forward, she's always waiting for something to change things for her, and this mentality blinds her. We even see that her leg is chained by blue as further proof. We can see by all the toys and such that she's being childish, she's emotionally immature. She's elected not to think and to just assume things will get better, letting her hopes come to her. If you look closely, her robot-arm things look like distorted, stylized power outlets. We see in her irl room that she's constantly plugged in, a little too exposed to technology. Nowadays our perception of the world is all too skewed by our biases via the internet. We believe what we want to believe, and there will always be a group of people online to confirm it. This girl is no different, the internet is keeping her that much more locked down. We see irl that as she walks around, the uniform grey people around her flicker like a computer glitch. She's not seeing people as they really are, the internet is skewing her perception. When we see her in the subconscious world, she's cloaked in black and red. The red is used to symbolize the girl looking to her past. For the male MC, red was almost always negative until Baumkuchen End, as guilt toward his sister was holding him back. But with the girl, the past is actually a source of hope, as she remembers the good times she had with the MC as a small child. She sees who he was, and who he's become through nothing more than his own strength. She also spins her past regret into something positive, as her failure to see outside herself and reach out to him more back then has turned into a vow to do better now. So her past frustrations and memories are coming at odds with her present blue self who expects others to come and fix things for her. At the 1:30 mark, she wakes up after this realization, horrified, having a bit of a quarter-life crisis. She finally sees things for what they really are, and she knows this can't continue. We then see the irl city surrounded by red, in the windows, street lights, cones. She had the opposite problem of the MC. While he looked to the past too much, she didn't do it enough. She needs to remember the past to remember who she is, to be able to make her own decisions. At 1:40 we see a sort of medical blockade, to show that she's put a much needed temporary stop to things so she can think about where her life's going. As she walks along, moving up stairs rather than down, she sees her black and red reflection. It scares her, because it can't be ignored at all anymore, it's pervading her real life as well. Essentially, there's no going back to her old way of life now that she's seen the truth. In her subconscious, the mental bedrock supporting the irl city fails, and her world turns upside down. Turns out her "realistic" view of the city wasn't any less a delusion than the MC's. She fights with her present self, doing markedly better, and forces her out of the subconscious and into the real world. She can't hide anymore. Now that her present self has been brought into reality, she really starts to see the truth of things. At 2:38, she sees her current path for the barren, ruined wasteland it is, and screams out in discontent. At 2:41, she realizes she'd been drowning in stress and fear the entire time, choosing not to notice. At 2:45, she's in the fetal position surrounded by a cocoon of introspection, a symbol of rebirth. At 2:48, she sees her present self in a beautiful field of reeds, as she comes to understand her. Finally, at 2:57, Her present self is flanked on both sides by red cones. She clearly sees who her enemy is, there's no doubt in her mind anymore. The two fight, her present self almost like that of an omnipresent goddess, what with her blue rays and power of flight. Yet the red girl is still able to reach her, breaking her mask of wait in the process. When she sees her face, she's almost dumbstruck, realizing her present self isn't just her enemy, she's a part of her. The two meet in the middle, coming to an understanding, similar to what the MC did in Ambivalent. The red of the past lifts away, reverting back to the yellow of the future, as the two are ready to move forward. The girl then wakes up with a smile. Like the MC, she's not going to wait on a miracle to come and rescue her anymore. From here on out, she's going to make her own choices, and decide for herself who she wants to be.

*If you’ve read this far, then thank you so much. I’ve really enjoyed making this, and these MVs have felt like looking into a mirror. Whenever I wouldn’t understand what a video means, I would just think in terms of my own struggles and experiences and everything would quickly come together. I doubt any of this was even what Eve and his animators intended, but that’s the beauty of art. Regardless of what an artist intends when making something, its messages can sometimes resonate with its viewers in ways even they didn’t expect. These MVs have impacted me so deeply that I had to get this out there, and if it reaches even one person and helps them a little, then posting this will be worth it.

Bonus Song:

Ano Ko Secret (EVERY color):

I was having a lot of trouble deciding where this song could fit, as it’s just so damn colorful and happy. In a tale about depression and guilt, why would the MC have such a fun romantic comedy amidst it all? He already has a daydream in the form of As You Like It, he doesn’t need another one. And then it seemed obvious. This song is at the beginning, before everything got out of control after the MC’s sister died. The MC and blue-haired girl have their true hair colors, because they’re both real (0:43). They’re both quite young, but because the MC is a standard happy-go-lucky kid (with an overactive mind and a touch of narcissism), he FEELS like a grown-up. When he sees the blue-haired girl, he’s infatuated with her at first sight, so she’s pretty and mysterious, also a grown-up (0:52). The MC is constantly experiencing new things, symbolized by the multi-colored bears popping out of the gacha machines en masse (0:11). He has no idea what the future might hold, but he’s eager to see it all. He even has a good friend in the form of the especially large orange bear (1:22). As orange is what we see when all colors are mixed together, this shows that the MC is able to confide in his friend and be totally honest around him. The fact that he’s a bear instead of a person could also symbolize how the MC literally sees himself as the ‘Main Character’ of his life, and others are background characters. Again, a little on the narcissistic side. But he’s so interested in the girl, that she looks different from everyone else. Because of that interest, he’s afraid to talk to her, so he enlists the help of his friend (1:03). Even together, he can’t gather up the courage, so his friend consoles him (1:19). When he finally does manage to talk to her, (albeit only through texts), all she seems to care about is his friend (1:37). He likely had a crush on her too, so with all her interest centered on the friend, asking her on a date is out of the question. He feels left out, betrayed by his best friend (1:54). But, angered, he refuses to give up, and he pushes past his fear to reach out to her anyway (2:05). Despite his best efforts, his anxiety wins out (symbolized by the black bears shooting down the white bears), and he stops just short of reaching her (2:18). However, he sees the girl reject his friend from the sidelines (2:47), and he rushes over, looking past his feelings of betrayal to console him (3:01). He doesn’t meet the girl, but when he saw her reject his friend, for a moment he saw a bit of himself in her, symbolized by them both exploring the same bear shop at 2:41. It’s a feeling he doesn’t fully understand, but he’s not afraid of her anymore, and he later works up the courage to talk to her off-screen, as proven by later songs. Neither of them truly realizes how similar they are to one another, and how their fates will be later intertwined, but their friendship will be a source of hope for them in the coming years.

[headcanonsandmore]

Hello Headcanonsandmore!! could you do a dark lord! Hermione headcanon where Ron falls in love with her and turns her good? I would love some angsty romione!! Your work is great by the way!!

I personally don’t think Ron would ever fall for a dark lord version of Hermione, so here’s what I did with the nucleus of this idea. It’s kinda the backwards version of what you requested, but I hope you like nonetheless. 

And since you requested angst....

(TWs are in the tags)

                     Read on FFN.                        Read on AO3. 

The dark lord Hermione Granger rested back in her chair.

She always hated staying in this place. The long corridors and enormous rooms were a relic of the pureblood supremacist past. She knew that better than most people. She supposed this was the place where it had all started. When this huge house was still called “Malfoy Manor”.

The world had changed so much since then. The old order had been destroyed, and the British wizarding community had altered beyond all recognition.

Sure, there had been sacrifices that had to be made. But it was all for the cause. “For the greater good”, as Dumbledore had once put it. Granger hadn’t thought about that man in years; his weak-willed ways had long since stopped being an inspiration for Hermione. Too many had died. Tom Riddle had been wrong about most things, but he was fully correct on this matter; there was only power, and those too weak to seek it.

So Granger had done just that. She had taken power. So that no innocents would ever be pulled into the firing lines again.

This old house still made her uncomfortable, though. Not that she would ever show it; fear was for the weak. It was pointless to still have lingering fears about the place, especially after almost twenty years.

And besides, it was the perfect place to draw Potter into the open.

‘My lady?’

The door of the room opened.

‘We’ve apprehended Potter, ma’am. He was trying to apparate into the building, and the censors went off.’

Granger smiled at her subordinate.

‘You’re done well, Matthews.’

‘Thank you, my lady. Do you wish him to be sent to Azkaban?’

Granger deliberated, softly stroking her wand as she did so. It was a habit she had fallen into, but she loved her wand. It wasn’t her first wand, sadly; but it was the nearest thing. She had always had an affinity for dragon heart-string cores, and this particular one did not disappoint.

‘No,’ she finally said. ‘Bring him to me; I’d like to speak with him.’

‘Yes, my lady.’

Matthews disappeared, and –in the distance- Granger could hear the sound of scuffling and raised voices.

Oh, Potter… she thought to herself… he always was one for theatrics, wasn’t he…

The door burst open, and a chained figure was thrown bodily to the ground in front of the dark lady’s chair. The figure awkwardly pulled himself up onto his knees. Granger reclined in her seat, surveying the man before her, as the door slammed shut again.

The intervening years had not been kind to Potter. The scar on his forehead was now one of a multitude covering his skin, and his arms were permanently bruised and battered. The dark hair was now speckled with premature greying, and the green eyes (that used to be so fiery) were now filled with a downcast world-weariness.

‘Potter, how lovely to see you again.’ Granger said, sipping some water from a nearby goblet. ‘We haven’t had a chance to catch up in a long time.’

Potter bit back an angry laugh.

‘Likewise.’ His voice was gruff and hoarse, as if he hadn’t slept properly in months. ‘Sorry I couldn’t bring any gifts; your friends don’t seem to like me that much.’

‘Oh, I don’t mind.’ The dark lady replied. ‘And they have their uses. By the sounds of it, you forgot about the apparation-detection spells. You never were one for thinking ahead, were you?’

‘Let’s just say I had someone I could rely on for that.’

‘Things change, though.’ Granger said. ‘You do realise that -as the saviour of the wizarding world- you get away with a lot more than other people would in your situation. Bad for morale if we executed the boy who lived, you see.’

Potter chuckled.

‘And here I thought you still had a soft spot for me, sister⸺’

‘I’m not your sister.’ Granger said, standing up. ‘Not for a long time. At least, those were your words on the matter.’

Potter let out a laugh. Angry and harsh.

‘Yeah. Ever since you started carting off innocent people to Azkaban, and executing anyone who stood in your way. No sister of mine would do that.’

‘I was never your sister to begin with, Potter.’ Granger replied, coolly. ‘We were allies, comrades⸺’

‘I was under the impression we were friends. Not that we were alone, of course. We had Ron as⸺’

There was a deafening crack, as Granger slapped him across the face. Blood trickled out of Potter’s mouth.

‘Don’t you dare say his name in my presence.’ Granger whispered. ‘Or I really will have you executed.’

‘Too much of a reminder of all you’ve done wrong, eh?’ Potter laughed, humourlessly. ‘Too much of a reminder that he would hate the person you’ve become⸺’

Another slap. Granger saw Potter’s face begin to redden.

‘I did all this for him.’ She said, tonelessly. ‘A better world. A better future.’

‘A better dictatorship.’ Potter muttered, his face beginning to swell. ‘You ever thought about changing your middle name to ‘Jane’ so you can match with Umbridge? Oh, wait, I forgot; we never found her body.’

‘I am nothing like Umbridge. She was too willingly to let innocents die for her own power.’

‘And yet you’re still sending innocent people off to Azkaban.’

‘That’s for re-education. We don’t torture them; the dementors were driven out of the place and destroyed.’

‘“Re-education”?’ Potter scoffed. ‘The irony is delicious.’

‘It’s rehabilitation. Everything is above-board.’  

Potter went silent for a moment.

‘And the people we never found? What happened to them? Was that above-board, too?’

Granger let out a sigh.

‘Being a leader means making hard choices. Sacrifices needed to be made.’

‘Keep telling yourself that, if it makes you feel any better.’

‘It’s the truth.’

Silence from Potter again. Then⸺

‘You know what the difference between you and Ron is?’

‘Shut up.’

‘Ron was willing to put his own head on the line⸺’

‘Shut up!’

‘⸺Ron never willingly let other people die just to save his own neck⸺’

‘SHUT UP!’

‘⸺He would have sacrificed himself before he let anything to me or you⸺’

‘I SAID SHUT UP!’

‘⸺And he did, didn’t he? He sacrificed himself to save you, and this is how you repay him⸺’

‘SHUT UP, POTTER!’

With a flash of her wand, Granger swiped across Potter’s face, leaving a great cut through the skin. Potter gave out a grunt of pain, and dropped to his knees.

Matthews and several others burst into the room, and roughly pulled Potter to his feet, but bent his head so that he was staring up at the dark lady. His glasses –broken and mangled- hung disjointedly off his nose.

‘You really think Ron would be proud of what you’ve created?’ Potter spat, blood streaming down his face. ‘This dictatorship? This dark regime? After all he did for us⸺’

‘I’ve created a country whose children will never have to go through what happened to us!’ Granger bellowed into his face. ‘Where good men don’t die throwing themselves into the firing line! Where no-one will ever lose the love of their life because of a pureblood supremacist with a knife!’

Potter struggled against the many arms holding him in place, and his face was lined with rage and renewed grief. Tears poured down his face, mixing with the blood from the raw cut.

‘Ron died because certain people decided that some lives aren’t worth as much as others! Because Tom Riddle decided that he knew best! How are you any different from that?’

There was a pause. Granger continued to breathe heavily, her eyes ablaze with fury.

‘Take him away!’ She yelled at her subordinates, and Potter was dragged towards the door, still struggling. ‘I hope you enjoy Azkaban, Potter!’

‘You said it yourself; the dementors were destroyed!’ Potter screamed. ‘Azkaban won’t hold me!’

‘Then I’ll capture you again and send you somewhere else!’

‘Oh, please! Admit it; you just want to avoid reminding yourself of your own guilt! Because you know Ron would never want this! He loved you, he loved you so much, he loved you more than he loved himself; he died in your arms on that beach!⸺’

‘SHUT UP!’

The door slammed behind Potter as he was dragged out, and Granger was once again alone. She always had been alone, even as a child. She was used to it.

The dark lady leaned against the desk that was placed against the wall. Looking down, she saw the untidy scrawl that she could always recognise, no matter how much time had passed. The same two initials, scratched into the woodwork as a permanent memory that he had existed. There were several ‘Chudley Cannons’ stickers still attached to the old wooden surface. It reminded her of times long since gone; of Quidditch matches in orchards, of sharing sweets on the Hogwarts Express, and the freshly mown grass of the Devon countryside. And of the sweet, brave, kind-hearted boy she had given her heart to.

All she had created in the years since had been necessary. So that what happened during the last war would never happen again. It had all been necessary… right?

Emotion did not show on Granger’s face, but -in a small part of her heart that she had long since closed off- a teenage girl with bushy hair sobbed, crying the name of the red-headed boy she had loved and lost.

~~~~~~~

Thanks for the request, anon; I hope you liked it, despite it not being quite what you asked for. 

Yes, I’m crying too at the idea of a universe without Ron Weasley. Why do you think I couldn’t bare to make this ficlet any longer? I just love Ron too much to write a lot about a universe where he’s dead. *sobs* 

[superlonelypin]

A well deserved punch

-

"Nothing screams home like the polluted skies of Gotham city." Those were the first words to leave Marinette's lips as she stepped foot into the gloomy outside of the hotel her class would be staying in for their month-long class trip. She hadn't been planning on coming back to the crime-ridden city, not since her brother had died, but Ms. Bustier didn't leave much room for convincing, especially when it came to the likes of Lila and her lies but th young half Asian girl didn't let her phase her much, she kept to the positives, like being able to visit her godfather.

"Now, why would my favorite little bug have such a big frown upon her face?" The voice of her godfather breaking her out of her thoughts. She instantly turned and threw herself into the older man's arms, arms of which instantly caught the small teenager and pulled her into a hug of his own.

"Uncle Jim!" She laughed happily as he carefully began to spin around before carefully placing Marinette back down onto her feet and stepping back to get a better look at the young girl he hadn't seen in person for almost ten years.

He let out a chuckle as he pushed up his glasses. "It seems you haven't grown much since I last saw you..." Gordan had trailed off on his sentence as the all too dark memories of Marinette's last time in the city had been of her older brother's death and her adoption into the Dupain-Cheng family having gone through the court systems after two years of the French couple filing for her adoption.

Wide blue eyes took on a faraway look that could only haunt the police commissioner to his very core. He never did like seeing such a look in Marinette's beautiful blues, but it seems that such a look will always find its way back into her clear eyes.

"Come on, I did promise to stop by the precinct so everyone could say hello to you."

-

The rest of their day went by in a flash, Gordan taking Marinette to a lot of her favorite spots from when she was younger. They even dropped by and hung out with Barbra for almost a whole hour before the teenager was needed back at the hotel for dinner with her class.

"Thank you again, Uncle Jim." Jim ruffled the bluenette's hair and smiled back at her. He's forgotten the last time he's smiled as much as he has today, but he wasn't going to dwell on that, for right now he was going to focus on his goddaughter.

"It's no problem kid, and remember if you have any problems of which you informed me of with your class while here, call me up and you'll stay with me for the rest of your time here."

When the topic of the school had come up between the two, Marinette had instantly tensed up and looked down at her lap. The inner cop in Jim had nearly jumped out but he held back and waited until his goddaughter was comfortable enough to speak about it on her own terms and when she had he had expected tears, but none ever made an appearance in her blue eyes, and it had worried him, for Marinette had always been a sensitive child.

"I will, pinky promise."

The two exchanged hugs and one last goodbye before the police commissioner left the hotel lobby leaving Marinette in peaceful silence, but said silence could never last too long for the blue-eyed girl.

"I guess Mari-slut just can't stay away from men and older men at that!" The snide remark of Lila carried out through the lobby causing the crowd of French students to snicker or to look on at the Asian girl in disgust, but Marinette wasn't going to allow them to bring her down, not in her own city.

So, growing a smile and determination in her clear blue eyes, Marinette marched her way over towards the Italian Burnett and glared daggers onto her.

"Lila, that man you 'claim' to be my lover without any proof just so happens to be my godfather."

The taller Italian stepped back in surprise at the confidence that radiated from the shorter teen. The green-eyed lier hadn't expected for Marinette to even stand up to her, but it seems that being within a city as gloomy and crime-ridden as Gotham brought something out of the half Asian girl that she'd never seen before, but she wasn't about to let some goodie-two-shoes get the better of her, not now that the empire she's built within the class of dimwitted students was so strong.

The other students looked on in a daze. They didn't know whether or not to pull Lila away from the bully or to allow Lila to walk away from themselves, and before they could really step up was when Marinette spoke up.

"I'd watch your back, every one of you. We are now in my city. A city of which will kill you without any Ladybug to bring you back." And with that, the short blue-eyed girl walked away and into the elevator.

-

A few days pass, and then came the day of the Wayne Enterprise tour. The class and Lila had chosen to ignore Marinette for the time being and she couldn't be any happier for that fact. For she had more time to herself to sketch out new commissions and more free time to allow Tiki out of her purse without any interruption from anyone demanding her of assistant or accusing her of harassing Lila in some way or another.

"I'm just disappointed that Bruce had to be on a business trip." Why after two peaceful days of no lies did Lila have to start them back up and inside the very building where she was likely to make a fool of herself.

This was sure to become a disaster on its own.

"But no worries, I can set something up for you some other time Alya." Marinette rolled her eyes and sighed at her former best friend's apparent lack of a lie detector. Mr. Wayne had stated through email that he would remain in the city while he hosted the French classes trip, Marinette even made sure the class knew of his words.

"Do they really believe everything she says?"

Blue eyes widen at the sudden break in her thoughts from the newcomer, causing for Marinette to jump a foot off of the ground. The man- no teenager found such an action amusing and laughed as he ran his fingers through his hair.

"Sorry, didn't mean to startle you, I'm Tim the tour guide for your class." Tim offers his hand out for a shake with a slight smile to his lips.

Marinette could tell he was lying. The tour guide was supposed to be Dick, whom of which she counted as a second brother. She didn't ask any questions knowing that something probably came up, so she put on a smile and took Tim's hand into her own and gave a firm shake.

"Marinette Dupain-Cheng-" She spoke with confidence in her voice as her blue eyes gleamed up into equally, but cloudy blue eyes. "I'm the class president and I do apologize for the lying going around."

Tim smiled politely at her before turning his attention to the class. He soon called out to grab the attention of the others, "My name is Tim and I will be your tour guide for the day. I would like to inform you that we will be having a bodyguard join us, it's mainly because we don't want to risk an attack from the Rouge's or any escapes for Arkham."

The class gathered around Tim with widening eyes, seeming to now take notice of just how dangerous Gotham was. Their attention though soon sifted to the sound of approaching footsteps nearing Marinette's left side.

"Name's Jason, I'll be your bodyguard."

Marinette's world soon went blurry.

-

That voice, she knew that voice anywhere. Yes, it may have changed with age, but it was still the voice of her brother. The boy who would protect her from their father's beatings or beating from the strays on the street. It belongs to the boy who made sure the little blue-eyed girl had a meal before her every day.

It was the same voice of the teenager who had died when she was seven.

With a shake in her steps and blurry vision, Marinette turned to look up at her once dead brother. Even through her teary vision, she could see the moment that Jason recognized her. For the young man flinched slightly as his own blue eyes clouded in shame.

"You died."

Jason's mouth opened and closed, he couldn't speak. He couldn't think because before him was the very girl he had promised to always protect, but he had failed such promise. He became too scared to face his sister after awakening from the Lazareth pit.

"You died, and you left me on my own for ten years! Where were you when I need you the most! Where was my big brother!"

Jason flinched once again, he even tried hiding behind Tim's back, but his replacement wasn't having it. He knew he deserved his pixies out range but he was never too keen on experiencing it.

"Pixie I-" the shorter girl cut him off before he could even finish what he was saying.

"Don't you dare fucking pixie pop me, Jason Peter Todd!" Marinette gasped out and let out a sob as she hid her face in her hands. Her body trembling from pent-up rage and frustration.

Everyone within the lobby of Wayne Enterprise was tuned in on the scene at hand. Some brave enough to have their phones out recording the whole affair going down, while others looked on in astonishment as the small girl continued to yell at Jason Todd. Even the class was blown away at the outburst. Marinette normally had the most control over her emotions, so seeing the Asian girl crumble before the very man to be her brother was all a shock to them.

"Does Uncle Jim know, does Dick know! Who all knows and didn't tell me? Who all made me believe you were dead for ten years!?"

Everyone was practically on their toes. They watched as the short bluenett, who was still crying into her hands and stood hunched over on skating legs that looked as if they were to give out any minute.

They watched on as Jason took careful steps towards his sister. He looked as if he were going to wrap her in his arms and hug her, but he was stopped as a fist shot out and struck him in the nose, and from the blood now running down his nose, the smaller girl most likely broke it.

"Ow, fuck!"

The entire room held their breath after the punch had been blown. They sat waiting to see what would happen next. They waited to see if Jason would drag the girl out of the building or if the girl would strike the other once more. But neither of those happened. What happened next only further their surprise.

"Oh god- Jay-Jay, I'm so sorry." Marinette brought shaking hands up to her brother's face in worry. She may be mad at him but her caring nature will always shine through, no matter the situation she's in.

"S'fine Pixie." Jason chuckled and pulled the shaking teenager into his arms, being careful not to get his nose blood onto her midnight black hair. "I deserved it. God do I deserve that." He finally let himself cry as well further shocking everyone taking a witness to the reunion.

"Missed you so much Nette. Never a day went by that I wasn't thinking about my baby sister and whether or not I was doing the right thing in keeping you away. I was so fucked up after I- after I died, so much so I didn't want you to see me. To know that me, so I never reached out. I just recently got better, and I was, I promise I was going to tell- I was. And I do, I deserved that punch to the nose."

Marinette pulled away from the hug and smiled softly at her brother. "I get it, but just so you know, I'm punching Dick and Bruce when I see them."

[malereader-inserts]

The Poem of a Dead Man

Fandom: Riverdale Pairing: Riverdale & Male!Reader Summary: A psychopath, a dead man, they’re all the same to you because they only way you’re being stopped is a bullet through your head. Word Count: 2,391 Warning: Major death, multiple deaths, blood, gore. A/n: Part two of “The Art of a Psychopath”

Flyers of you roamed around Riverdale. 

Due to the corrupted system of the police of FP Jones had lead you to flee Riverdale. WIthout a trace, without a trial. You laugh in mockery.

Flyers of you roamed beyond the little town called Riverdale.

Riverdale. The town with pep.

The town was recovering after the three-month period of mass murders, and there was no trace of you, no whereabouts of you. Almost as if you hadn’t existed, your name was no longer branded in the school register or in the list that was proudly presented around the school as one of the top achievers.

When your parents been asked, they would look confused and claimed that they never had a son called (Y/n), and when told that you were a psychopath they would be offended because they wouldn’t raise a child to be a killer. But, there were pieces of evidence of scarring around their head.

Your younger siblings? Afraid to talk about you, claiming they never had a sibling. You were virtually no one. No medical records to obtain from the hospital, your record of any crimes were gone. 

Now, the band of very close friends ever wondered if they just imagine it. 

But, they couldn’t because eight of them and their parents couldn’t have imagined the same thing. 

The town was quiet, the farm had disbanded and Alice was recovering from the farm, gaining a lot of support from Betty and FP. Kevin was quick to reunite with Betty, often going out to Pop’s whilst Kevin and her gush about old things. Jughead was still plotting against his mother but this time having the support of his dad.

Hiram and Hermione had fully split, but Veronica has quickly adapted to the new custom - though disliking it. Tom and Sierra were happily in love whilst surprisingly Penelope and Cheryl are trying to mend their relationship.

Archie was thriving with his music and sports, Josie being his number one fan whilst Reggie and Veronica are figuring things out. Life at Riverdale, the town of pep, seemed too good. 

“I need some kind of miracle to run my mom out of Riverdale,” Jughead sighs, as Betty rubbing his arm as Veronica looked sympathetic.

“I know, we’ll find a way,” Betty comforted.

“We always do,” Archie confirmed, offering his best bud a smile.

But, you know what they say?

Be careful what you wish for.

“Jughead?”

He stands there frozen, the house that once belonged to his girlfriend now his family has been trashed. Specifically warned, marked. Archie had driven the four of them back to Jughead’s house. The four of them had been joking around until they had got out of the car.

It was Jughead who noticed first, his eyes widen as his blood run cold. His whole world was collapsing, his head was spinning.

He wanted his mother gone, but not dead.

“I called the police,” Veronica shakily spoke behind Jughead.

He couldn’t move even if he could feel Betty grip his arm even harder. The core four stared at the house, not moving, too shocked and well aware not to tamper with evidence. Sirens could be heard in the far distance, coming closer and closers.

“I have to check on my dad!” Archie suddenly exclaimed, remembering how he lived next to Jughead, but before he could Fred had already seen his son standing outside.

Fred was quick to exit his home in confusion until he saw red liquid drop from the second floor. He makes his way to Archie, who wore a relieved expression, gripping his dad into a tight hug. 

“Did you see anything, dad?”

“No, I didn’t hear anything of the sorts, didn’t see anything either,” Fred explains as two police cars pulled up.

FP exiting his car as his eyes are drawn to the graffiti art on his home. His next attention was his beanie wearing son, safe. Having a hard grip on his boy’s shoulder, he draws him for a hug, before looking to his home. 

His heart is crushed, he is disgusted. 

Gladys Jones dead body was hanging out a smashed window, her throat slit.

Jellybean Jones strung up with a noose around her neck, swinging to the direction of the wind.

The red liquid was Gladys’ blood and was used for writing. Sending chills down everyone’s spine as the press was quick to report the new murder, capturing the new message that would send Riverdale into a state of panic.

“I’m back!”

“How do we know that is (Y/n)?” Betty asked, “Hard to recognise his writing since I haven’t seen it for almost four months.”

Betty had looked at Jughead, who was still processing that his little sister had been killed, with you being one of the possible suspects. You’ve been gone for four months, four months since they last saw you in the school gym playing a dangerous game.

And when the last of your memory started to fade away, you came back to haunt the town. 

“No one has seen him in town,” Jughead mentions.”

“Could be possible that someone else is doing it for him,” Veronica proposed as she sipped her drink, timidly, “He doesn’t want himself to get caught.”

It was a smart idea, which is why you like Veronica and Jughead a lot, most of the time they were leaders of schemes. You liked using their own plan against themselves. 

But, you always liked getting your hands dirty, you had power in the town, a power that Hiram longed for, a power that FP tried to obtain, a power that Sierra hoped for. A young teenage boy capable of doing the dirtiest of filth. You were insane, and you got away with a lot of things.

“Look, we better get to class soon,” Archie spoke before there was static from the school’s tv. Almost simultaneously, all the TV’s switched on, every single person in Riverdale was witnessing the same thing.

FP watched with his men at the police station. 

Hermione in the mayor office.

Fred in his construction works.

They saw you, smiling at the camera, waving a knife and it was bloody. Your eyes scream insane. Your smile suddenly wiped away and your lips thinned.

“Riverdale,” Your tone was cold, sent shivers down anyone spine, “Did you miss me because I certainly missed you.”

You started to chuckle then it became hysterical laughter, everyone jumped out of their skins when you slammed your fist against the desk. Veronica could tell the settings, that was Hiram's art portrait behind you.

“That’s right, Veronica,” You seemingly knew her thoughts, “How’s daddykins? Don’t you worry yourself, he’s fine...for now,” Your voice lowers near the end, before smugly smirking towards the camera, licking your lips, “You know what want? It’s time to give this town of pep the boost it needs. Time to stop taking ourselves so seriously. I mean, come on, Riverdale. What do you have to lose? Except your sanity.”

You chuckled, you stuck the knife down at the desk as you abruptly stood up. Your dead cold eyes burned through the television as everyone seems to be frozen in their spot, afraid to move.

“You know what they say, we all could go insane with just one bad day,” You continued, “You know what happened on my bad day?” You leaned over the desk with every word you spoke after, “People just kept... pushing.”

You turn on your heels as whipped out a red spray paint, shaking it vigorously and standing on the seat you once occupied and spray paint over painted Hiram. 

Deadman

You threw the can to the side as you stepped onto the desk and jumped down, facing the camera. 

“I’m more than a man, I’m an idea; a philosophy, and I will live on in the shadows within Riverdale’s discontent. You’ll be seeing me soon. Au revoir!”

And so the screen turned black.

14 was your current death count, as much as you would like to claim the Black Hood’s killings, you couldn’t. You often visited Hal in prison, all in his glory, you were curious you see. You couldn’t take credit for the gargoyle king’s kills either, though you found those a little distasteful. 

Murdering irrelevant people? It bores you.

Pop’s for example, was exciting, a kind man who wouldn’t hurt a fly just murdered in cold heart. 

Hal gave you excellent ideas, what to do, but some of them burnt you out. So, the last time you exited his visiting hold, the police hadn’t realised a gun in Hal’s hand and your order to shoot himself.

Your reason?

His ideas can’t be spread around, and so the floor stained red, his glass protection splatter with his blood.

You left chuckling, you left with a vision. 

You wanted to release the prisoners, but then you thought too much about how they either worked for Hiram or in cahoots with the Serpents, finding followers to do you mad scheming was harder than you expected and yet you did everything alone.

“They call me a dead man, you know why?” Your tone was like a snake, slither, a hiss in Jughead ear as you sat in the booth behind him a knife pressed against his neck.

“Because-”

“Because they’re watching me! I could be killed at any moment and yet I see no bullets in me,” you interrupted, “I do enjoy an audience, but never witnesses. Shame I liked Pop’s.”

You clicked your tongue as Jughead registered what you have spoken, whipping a revolver from your tucked shirt and shooting Pop. Jughead watched in horror, unable to move as your left hand was still occupied with the knife against his neck.

“What did they use to call this place?” You hummed, before a eureka moment came to your head, “Ah! Yes! Death Diner,” you looked at the people sitting there watching your movements.

Jughead watched you grin, as you allowed your bullets to do the talking. Left satisfied as you remove the knife away from Jughead. Tucking the gun away back into your pants, as you jumped into the aisle. Jumping onto the counters as you pointed to Jughead.

“I do love a good show,” You announced, “20 people, Jughead, and they just keep going up n up n up.”

“You vile bastard-”

“I know!” You jumped down, “Who should I target next? Unfortunately, there is nothing else I can take away from you to torture you even further. Do, you think Veronica would appreciate her mom’s head in a gift box?”

Jughead watch you stride towards the door, before changing your mind.

“I am truly spoilt for choice, and like I said, I hate witnesses.”

Jughead was met with your knife, a stab to his gut as you could hear him choking into your ear.

“I do hope you survive Jughead, I couldn’t imagine what your dad would do after losing his little girl.”

Merrily escaping your way to never be found again. Jughead recovering in the hospital, FP was stress to the max. Teaming up with Tom and Hiram in any attempts to stop you.

It seems almost impossible to find a seventeen, near eighteen, year old boy terrorising a while town.

They couldn’t believe their ears to the next murder after Pop’s Diner. Cheryl’s beloved. A gift box painted red, with a small printed card on top:

“A heart for a cold-hearted bitch.”

A heart was presented in the red gift box as Cheryl screamed, oh and did she scream, she screamed for the death of a lover.

Toni Topaz was no longer around.

And on her trailer marked 21.

“Can you hear that?”

Josie gulped in fear as she sat in her kitchen dining table across Kevin. They were both terrified as you sat in between, your eyes flickering between the two. 

“That’s the screams of anguish,” You muttered, “Joyful, isn’t it?”

“Why are you doing this?” Kevin asked as you shrugged your shoulder, you were free of weapons as you lean your wrist back, opening.

“Boredom? I mean feel free to walk out, I’m not holding you captive.” 

“If one of us move, you’ll kill us,” Josie spoke afterwards, her hands gripping the table as you turn your head slowly to face her, your eyes narrowing.

“If you attack me, yes, now go get me coffee. Black, two sugars.” You waved her off as she scrapes her chair back.

You turned to look at Kevin, leaning your elbows on the table as you rest your chin on your hands. A pretty little smile on your face as you flutter your eyes towards him.

“So, boys,” You teases, “You seemed cursed, anyone you get with either gets killed or runs out of your life - tragic.”

Kevin glares at you as his eyes flicker up to Josie, his eyes widen to find her with a switch knife in her hand and scalding hot coffee in the other. Feeling another presence behind you, you smile as you straighten your back.

“Thank you, darlin- argh!” You turned around as you were faced with the hot liquid to your eyes.

You fall back off your chair, as you could hear the scraping of movements, you opened your eyes. Anger had taken over you, grabbing a nearby chair you threw it to Josie, as you stood up, landing a right hook to Kevin.

Next thing you’re fighting with Kevin and Josie, two weakest people. And yet you seemed to be overpowered by the two of them. You had managed to roughen the two of them a big deal, but whilst you were preoccupied with smashing Kevin’s face in, his pretty face was no longer but mushed with blood.

You hadn’t heard the flicker of the switchblade opening behind you as Josie stuck in in the side of your neck.

“Argh!”

You stumble yourself off, Kevin, your back colliding to the wall as your hand flew to the stab wound. The blood was flowing out as you could feel it trickle down your neck, down your collar, down your sleeves. 

You started to cough out blood, and yet the coughing became chuckles. As you slide down the wall, staining it in the process. These chuckles became hysterical laughter, spitting blood as your eyes widen in insanity.

“Oh, you should have put a bullet through my head.”

[constantlyirksome]

Review: Euphoria’s First Season Finale was Aesthetically Stunning but Narratively Clunky.

Going into the Euphoria season one finale we had a lot of questions: Would Fezco get arrested? Would Maddy and Nate get back together, or would he finally get what was coming to him? Would #Rules make it? Unfortunately, due to the episode's reliance on non-linear storytelling, we left with more questions than answers.

The Halloween episode used a similar narrative structure, the party was the centre of it and all the other scenes were flashbacks, in the end coming together in a satisfying way. Unfortunately, it didn’t work well at all this episode, while the core of the episode is the school dance (a classic hotbed for teenage drama) it’s not clear when all the other scenes occurred in relation to it, end it ended on multiple cliff-hangers.

Let’s talk about Nate and Maddy first. I have praised Jacob Elordi in the past because getting people to like a character is one thing, but to create and act out a character as loathsome as Nate takes talent. His key scenes with his father, Rue, and Maddy all had an incredible intensity and heat, he’s so convincing as a brute you wish that Rue’s fantasy, lighting Nate on fire and shooting him, was real.

He continues a lot of his patterns; first, he bullies Rue in a tense faceoff. Elordi and Zendaya have incredible rival chemistry, and as Nate sowed the seeds of doubt for Rue and Jule’s relationship, Rue threatened to burn his whole family down. He abused Maddy verbally and physically. The question of his and his father's sexuality popped up and honestly, that’s a thread I’m a little tired of. Internalized homophobia on that level, if they are gay, isn’t something I as a gay man care to watch.

Nate singlehandedly wins a football match but his father still berates him for not doing enough as a captain. Nate does what he does best, gets in his dads face, but his dad doesn’t back down and when they get into an uncomfortable physical confrontation where Nate is overpowered and breaks down completely. Like a child in a supermarket, he cries and thrashes and then begins hurting himself in his rage. This is a man who has gone through some serious emotional abuse, repression coupled with a genetic inflated ego, arrogance and violent misogyny. He was bound to explode, and he does so in such huge way I just have to applaud Elordi again. But the question is, was the tantrum before or after the dance?

Maddy did a lot of growing after being covered in the human manure that is Nate and decides she’s had enough.

“You’re abusive, psychopathic, and I hate the way you make me feel…” she says as they slow dance. I love Maddy, and this is an aspiring thing to see, a girl in the grips of an abusive relationship, who until now knew how sick it was but couldn’t leave, make the decision to cut it off. And props to her for trying to assure Nate that It’s Okay to Be Gay and that sexuality is a spectrum while he was screaming in her face. What an icon.

Cassey deals with her decision to terminate her pregnancy, weirdly McKay isn’t in the episode at all. At the dance, she says she never wants to fall in love again (honestly what a mood,) meaning they split up after she had her abortion, meaning either he is as shitty as every other man on the show or the show just didn’t know what to do with him. During her procedure she tunes out and listens to music, imagining herself ice-skating instead. It’s a beautifully shot moment, her on a blacked-out ice rink, completely alone, no McKay cheering her on. She does have her sister though, and at the scenes, for the dance they sit and laugh at other people which is always fun.

Kat got probably the only “happy” end to her story arc, finding Ethan on the dance floor, she realizes she can be the bad ass, confident, empowered woman she wants to be without being cruel, or shutting herself off emotionally. She finds a good middle ground and it’s very sweet to see her open up after so many episodes of her being so stoic.

Ethan delivers possibly the most romantic speech ever: “This is high school, will we last forever? Probably not. Someone will probably get hurt, but I’ll do my best to make sure that person is me.” What a cutie!  Mazel Tov to the happy couple.

Fezco and Ashtray (just learned that’s what the little kid's name is) don’t get arrested, but he is still in trouble with drug dealer Mouse, whom he owns money to. His solution is to put on a ski mask and rob some guy, I’m unsure if this man is narratively relevant, or if he’s just rich. He’s got stacks of cash and prescription pills in a drawer so Fez gets lucky either way. When the guy pulls a gun, Fez proves how hard he really is, that Nate should be worried, and beats the guy in front of his kid. Fez has been toted as the best man on the show and it’s sad to say after that scene he probably still is. There’s something so likable about Fez and Angus Cloud that has you blaming the guy getting robbed for trying to be brave instead of blaming Fez for robbing him. Audiences perceptions around men these days are so warped, and standards are so low that characters like Fezco, who seems genuinely okay deep down, become the ones we’re drawn to. It’s weird, but I’m guilty of it too, because while he gives Mouse the money, Mouse spots blood on the bills and grabs his gun, leading the question, “does Fez get shot?” and I hoped to god he didn’t.

Finally our heroes Rue and Jules. Jules does Rue’s eye makeup, in a very similar way to how Anna did hers the last episode, and sings Anna’s praises, casually letting slip that she did sleep with the other girl. Later that night at the dance Rue finds her taking selfies and sending them to Anna. While Rue and Jules aren’t in a relationship, while Jules isn’t Rue's keeper, her sponsor, or her girlfriend it still came off kind of dickish. Jules deserves to be as free as she wants but she has never been good at communicating. She tells Rue that she loves her, and she wants to kiss her, (they do, it’s very steamy), and that she doesn’t want Rue to change… But when a sloppily planned escape to the city between the two of them falls through, Jules ends up leaving Rue behind, going back to Anna essentially.

Rue and Jules were connected and were in a lot of ways perfect for each other, outsiders with the same sick views of the world, but in so many ways they weren’t right for one another, between Rue's addiction/sobriety and Jule’s lifestyle there were few ways were you could see it working out but it was still sad to see, and the way it happened didn’t make a terrible amount of sense. Jules escapes with Rue, but ditches her even though it was Rue’s plan? And the worst part is that that’s what Nate predicted would happen when he was fighting with Rue.

We end on a mishmash of scenes with Rue, Jules and her family, good flashbacks, and a flashback to a fight with her mother that was so bad Rue was kicked out of home, but when did this all happen? One flashback clues us onto the fact that Rue’s red sweatshirt was actually her dads, but other than that the scenes are confusing. Back in the present Rue puts on her dad's hoodie and snorts a line of something, officially falling off the wagon. The question, made less clear after the coming scenes, is did she die? Many people believe she’s only able to know everyone’s business every episode because she dies. 

Then, bizarrely it turns into a music video of sorts, if not a trippy one. You think Rue is revisiting more memories as she stumbles in a drug-induced state (Zendaya’s physicality here was fantastic) as her family ignores her, but then her dad is there, and then suddenly she’s in a sea of dancers and she’s (Zendaya) singing Labrinth's All For Us. (I already have it saved on Spotify talk about a BOP.)

It’s beautifully shot, choreographed and performed. The whole episode was beautiful, from the girls dance outfits, to the makeup, Cassey’s skate scene, and then the end dance. But it speaks to one of the biggest issues I have with Euphoria, which is if you take away the cinematography, great acting, the costuming and the killer soundtrack, Euphoria is narratively up and down. This episode was confusing, highlighted by the absurd ending. With season two confirmed more focus needs to go into planning for the future and making sure everything lines up. Speculation is Rue might be dead, or near dead but she only did one line of something so I think she’s fine, but alive or not the finale might have been so much more satisfying if things were a tiny bit clearer.

[maggotmouth]

      rises from the dead like mushu hullo it’s nora ( gmt, she/her) n i’m sorry didnt do my intro yesterday, i woke up in a bath, happy new year. anyway bridget is a mess, the angsty socialist leftie liberal who gets fucked at the pub and goes off on one about immigration or the welfare state or the pay gap. very talkative n bubbly, carefree but also.... cares too much. always in docs but only the vegan ones. usually in a beret with an anarchist symbol painted on it. wears a long green trench coat covered in badges for alt punk rock bands or a red denim jacket that she hacked into a crop jacket with a pair of kitchen scissors. film nerd. got in on a partially subsidised scholarship and works in a bar and a fast food place to pay for her accomodation. 

heres a pinboard. everythin else is below this cut, like this post n i’ll smash that im button for plots x

it might be HER SOPHOMORE year but I still think BRIDGET MATUSIAK looks exactly like MARGARET QUALLEY and sometimes I think the FEMALE is actually them. Of course I’m wrong, as they’re TWENTY and studying FILM while living in FIDELIS here at Lockwood. The ARIES can be rather CANDID and GARRULOUS, but also kind of FICKLE and ERRATIC. Their most played song on Spotify was NOBODY REALLY CARES IF YOU DON’T GO TO THE PARTY by COURTNEY BARNETT, so I think that says a lot.

bridget n her mum alice were more like sisters growing up, probably because of the closeness in age. alice should’ve known that you couldn’t have a thirteen-year-old-daughter at 27 without everyone knowing you’d been one of those girls who gave it away fast as a hot potato, and maybe bridget should have known that she’d inherit more than her mother’s wide eyes, that things had a way of circling back, that at fourteen she too would lose it on the floor of a swimming pool changing room, soggy back, poka-dot nylon pulled down to her ankles.

her parents met in high school. her mother alice was a roman catholic – uneducated in matters of safe sex, mother mary around her neck, bras hanging over wooden crucifixes – and willing to give it to the first boy who seemed interested enough, gift-wrapped or not.

i say they met in high school, bridget’s dad wasn’t actually in school, they met at the high school. he was the father to a girl down the road. alice knew nothing of the girl besides her name and the few encounters in the corridors facing a stoney stare that screamed homewrecker. it only happened once, but once was enough. soon the pitter patter of tiny feet sounded along the hall of the home for wayward women, alice’s parents having thrown her out as soon as they knew a child was growing in her womb.

gilly (referred to as junior) was born two years later, the son of a mechanic and handyman named gilbert “gilly” senior, who - while a slow-witted man – was likable enough. alice, gilly bridget & junior lived in a colorado trailer park and whenever she wasn’t at school bridget would be in gilly’s workshop doin her homework surrounded by parts of exhausts.  was raised in a workshop basically.

like her mother, bridget fell pregnant barely out of her gingham print dresses, hair in two plaits down her back, teddies still lining her bed. unlike her mum, she was not box-shipped out to a home for fallen women but rather booked into a clinic, given a pill, just like taking your vitamins.

her mother flaked out when bridget was around fifteen and junior was twelve, leaving gil to adopt the two as legal guardian and raise them in the forge. she’s lived with gilly ever since. they’re not sure where their mother went. some say she rededicated herself as a virgin and joined the convent in penance for her sins. some say she works in a las vegas strip club and sells pills to minors.

used to do sponsored silences and hunger strikes for kids in third world countries. was that kid in school who was always raising money something. i mean its kinda cute but also she just wanted the acclaim and attention so.... and most of the time it didn’t even make it to the disadvantaged kids she was raising it for cos her mom needed rent money or to buy the kids new shoes n they could barely afford much themselves

she’s a strident feminist, an activist for human rights and animal rights, a vocal vegetarian and an all-round soapbox sadie. catch her in the quad shouting about human rights through a megaphone.

aesthetic: cuffed jeans, thrifted or stolen. white converse, more grey tbh through years of wear. crop tops and plaid shirts tied round her waist. a long green trench coat with loads of badge pins for alt-rock bands and independent films. red denim jacket, also covered in badges n pins. smudged mascara. glitter smeared over cheekbones from the previous night. cigarette smoke shrouding you like a veil, the red string of a thong peaking out purposely from jeans, roller blades, cut knees, not eating your greens, smiling with a mouthful of blood, and piercing your own ears with a safety pin when your dad wouldn’t take you, kate moss posters lining the walls of a teenage bedroom, thumb holes poked through the cuffs of your sleeves, feet pounding the earth until your soles bleed crimson, sleeping in a cherry lip balm and scrunchies to keep the wild locks from your eyes.

an aspiring screenwriter. she has a very image-based view of memory and experience. always doing a screenplay or shooting film. her style has a lot of catholic iconography (think virgin suicides styler or baz luhrmann’s romeo + juliet if it was done on a super 8 camera) bcos catholicism is one of the few things she remembers about her mother. she’s never actually tried to find her mum / find out about her, jst…. occasionally channels that energy into her work.

hypersexual and kinda manic-depressive (though not diagnosed) probs bcos her upbringing was a bit unstable, she started life in a house that was literally designed to rehabilitate “fallen women” and she was a looked after child for a while when the adoption papers were still going through… struggles a lot with feeling unwanted, especially since her grandparesnts refuse to acknowledge her existence cos she was born outside of marriage….. so she craves feeling wanted,, like despite being a real women’s rights activist ad hating objectification, at the same time to bridge there’s nothing better than someone sizing you up with hunger in their eyes

she’s queer, but i guess she favours women, and is incredibly vocal in her support of the lgbt+ movement. often at ralleys. has done a face-sitting protest. really is that bitch

there’s a degree of anger for anger’s sake in bridget. she likes passionate, angry music – particularly garage rock, punk and riot grrrl. she loves the slits and skinny girl diet. viv albertine inspired her to take up bass guitar.

working two jobs to pay for uni currently !! works at the bowling alley polishing the shpes and fixing the bowling lanes, and also is a burger flipper at mcdonalds. a lot of her time is spent in the record store, plugged into a set of headphones, head-banging in the corner to a scratched record. music, for birdie, is a form of escapism. that and dropping acid in parking lots lmao.

massive film buff. is majoring in film at uni also spends a lot of time at the movie theatre n probably has like a season ticket. is one of those pretentious film nerds who’s like “what do u think of goddard’s work?” but also just really into shitty horror movies

she spends her evenings in downtown bars willing away her boredom, trying to find something that’ll jerk her out of apathetic lethargy. she toys with the idea of becoming a stripper — it certainly pays better than fixing bowling lanes — but she lacks the energy to dance for several hours a night.

she loves b movies and slasher flicks. at parties, she’ll occasionally try to make a horror of her own, on a super 8 camera in someone’s basement, very paranormal activity, but she’ll inevitably get bored, or too drunk and give up, like she does with most things in her life. she lacks drive and motivation. she’s bright but there’s no hunger in her.

writes shitty poems on the back of napkins and quotes dead philosophers she’s never read. romanticises herself a lot. like will be standing there in a ripped t-shirt and her undies smoking a cig like “hmmm… i bet someone is falling in love with me right now”

is vegetarian for environmental reasons but snorts coke at parties ?? sis, it don’t add up

loves dirt. ate a worm once because someone dared her too. shamelessly disgusting.

she’s slightly obsessed with true crime, up late watching documentaries on the manson family murders.

she’s fickle and enigmatic. one moment she could be your best friend, the next, she’ll behave like a total stranger. bridget’s unpredictable because she’s still unsure of her own identity, frequently flitting between different characters, like snake skins, before she grows bored of being bubbly and eager and becomes spiteful again. her core personality traits are probably forthright, impulsive, restless, thrill-seeking, selfish, melancholic.

an awful person, really

feel free to im me if u wanna plot, here are some plot ideas i stole, or, like this post and i’ll hit u with a message!

[devilsbound-a]

*ﾟ· ˚  ✧ wolfie zaharov ⁞ ❛ devil in me.  /  introduction.

what’s up sluts ! admin fox here with yet another blog & yet another character .... if we’ve never met before, damn ya lucky ! but anyways lmao i’m fox, i’m twenty years old ( twenty-one next month woop woop ) and my pronouns are she/they but really whatever u wanna use is fine. this muse is kinda old but i’ve never played him in a group setting so i’m really excited to throw my garbage son into the world ! if you’d like to plot with wolfie, just give this post a ♡ or message me !

pro tip: add /mobile to the end of my url so it is easier to read !

⋆ ◦ ° ☾ matthew daddario + cis male + he/him — have you met wolfgang ‘wolfie’ zaharov? they are a twenty-eight year old known around town as the dirtbag. they currently work for the savages as a pimp, though they are also a preacher. they are a bisexual scorpio, which means they are amicable + hard-working, as well as selfish + untrustworthy. all black clothing. shaky tattoos. rosaries laying over chest hickeys. 

*ﾟ· ˚  ✧ wolfie zaharov ⁞ ❛ devil in me.  /  history.

wolfie is ajax anderson’s oldest kid ( that people know of lmao ), and he was raised by the man. his mother abandoned him with his dad when wolf was just two months old, being a drug-addict stripper that certainly wasn’t looking for the responsibility of raising a child; wolf has no memory of his mother, and the only information he has of her is the name on his birth certificate. 

ever since he was a teenager, ajax always raised wolfie to be his heir, to follow his father’s footsteps and to, one day, run the town’s local brothel. wolfgang was never interested in it, actually. for as long as he could remember, wolfie was always disgusted by his dad’s actions. he hated the life of crime, hated that his father was running a brothel, hated the gang running the town. 

wolfie’s version of teenage rebellion was to join the local church. he swore celibacy and to uphold God’s words when he was just seventeen, being one of the youngest preachers in town. wolf spent a couple of years traveling the world to spread the word of god after that, and the time away from his family and his town only made him realize the mistake he had made. 

deep down, wolfgang has always been amoral with a penchant for trouble. as he stood in front of a packed church reciting the bible, all wolfie wanted to do was hang out with the cute guy from the bakery next door and smoke some weed. he drowned his personal demons for years, denying his own pleasures because that was what he was taught to do. about five years ago, however, he simply couldn’t do it anymore. 

wolfie came back to valdez about eight years ago, and at one point he simply broke. he came back to his father with his tail between his legs, begging for a job and some comfort. it was balthazar’s idea that he kept his day job as the town’s preacher: despite his wrongdoings wolf is still a very religious man, and balthazar caito saw advantage in having some good blackmail material on the local church in case he ever needed it. 

*ﾟ· ˚  ✧ wolfie zaharov ⁞ ❛ devil in me.  /  personality.

wolf is... an ass. he does only what he wants to, either it be having sex with strangers, beating someone in a bar fight or nearly overdosing on a friday night. he has no impulse control, and doesn’t care how his actions may affect the people around him. 

despite his infidelity when it comes to romantic relationships, wolfgang is loyal to the core when it comes to everything else, which is why he didn’t leave the savages when his father did. wolfie started our with the savages, he intends on dying with ( and for ) them.

he can be pretty arrogant too--- wolfie knows he’s a hot mess, but he’d rather focus on the ‘hot’ than the ‘mess’. 

will probably hit on you. and your sister. and your dad. and your mom. 

he’s still a good shoulder to cry on, if you need. during his years as a preacher wolfgang became a pretty good therapist, and he still gives off advice to anyone who may come to him. ( he’s the definition of ‘do as i tell you not as i do’. )

*ﾟ· ˚  ✧ wolfie zaharov ⁞ ❛ devil in me.  /  appearances.

he’s 6′5, with a mess of dark curly hair he hardly ever brushes. 

always with a scruff bc he’s too lazy to shave everyday, though he never lets it turn into an actual beard. 

he has a bunch of tattoos, none of them very well done. most of his tattoos are black and white and can easily be considered doodles. usually only gets a tattoo when he’s plastered. 

wolf has a silver nose ring on the left nostril, but he doesn’t wear it too often anymore. 

dresses in mostly black or dark clothing; he’ll put on a leather pant whenever he’s trying to get fucked but usually he’s in slacks and a black button down. 

*ﾟ· ˚  ✧ wolfie zaharov ⁞ ❛ devil in me.  /  plots.

a best friend — more like a confidant, the one person that gets to see wolf with his guard down; probably one of the few people in town that doesn’t underestimate him.

a childhood friend — wolfie left town at eighteen, and he also left this person behind. maybe they had a lot of plans of moving away together, of escaping life in a small town and becoming somebody together in the big city; instead, frank walked away in the first chance he got and abandoned this muse without second thought.

an ex — they dated for around two years, maybe even lived together for a while ? either way it ended horribly because wolf just couldn’t keep it in his pants.

a friend with benefits — wlf doesn’t do exclusive relationships very well, but he’s great in the sex department; this character would know that well, since he is constantly hitting them up for some fun with no strings attaches. 

an enemy — maybe they had beef before wolfie moved away, maybe they just met. either way, thy are constantly butting heads, maybe even brawling a couple of times.

a hate-sex type of fling --- they hate each other for some reason, can never be in the same room without screaming at each other. that is, until they’ve had a couple of drinks and end up sleeping together as often as they fight.

a protective friend --- wolf definitely doesn’t have his shit together. maybe this person doesn’t either, but that doesn’t stop them from caring for wolfie like the mother he has never had. 

workers --- wolfie currently runs his father’s old brothel. maybe some of the escorts work for him ? we could always add more to this plot, maybe wolfie is also a regular client, maybe the escort hates his guts, maybe they feel protected by him.

a neighbor — maybe they get along, maybe they hate each other with the passion of a thousand suns. who knows ?

a roommate --- wolfie is probably the worst roommate ever; he’s constantly bringing strangers home at late hours, he drinks and do too many drugs in the living room, probably doesn’t know how to clean up after himself. he makes really good food and pays his part of the rent on time, though. 

a party friend — wolfie loves to go wild, and this person isn’t stopping him. in fact, quite the opposite, with the two constantly egging each other on.

a cuddle buddy — wolfgang is definitely a touchy person, and so is this muse. they are always pda’ing in public, though it’s very platonic for the both of them.

a partner in crime — wolfie is constantly up to no good. some nights it’s just sitting in a parking lot drinking his weight on vodka, some nights it’s nearly getting killed in a knife fight at the local bar. whatever it is, this person is always there to back him up.

a childhood best friend — this two were attached by the hip all throughout their childhood and teenage years. in the past couple of years they grew apart, and are now trying to light up that flame again; which creates several awkward hang out sessions and late nights of doing the weird stuff they used to do as kids.