#i mean if you're going to bite anyone in defense of your friend it really ought to be a corrupt cop right?

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

Dazai bit a policeman?? Maybe all his calling Chuuya a dog is projecting bc that is dog behavior right there

Get his ass.

(No, but there is a post on here on a similar line where Chuuya is actually cat-coded and Dazai has just successfully duped the fandom at large when the dog-like character is actually him... you should check that out but I can't find it atm...)

[javiscigarette]

Teacher's Pet

Joel Miller x virgin f!reader

Summary: 25 years old, anxiety-ridden, and still a virgin, you ask your friend Joel for advice on your upcoming date. But you're more of a...hands-on learner. And he's more than happy to help. 

Warnings: PWP, unbalanced power dynamics, virgin!reader, neighbor/bff/more experienced! Joel, age gap, first kiss, virginity loss, fingering, oral (f receiving), frequent check-ins, soo much banter and Joel is a menace also so soft and sweet :')....(ends on a cliffhanger but there will be a part two I swear).

w/c: 7.7k idk what happened

a/n: I am resurfacing for your monthly reminder that I do in fact still write!! Inspiration for this came out of literally nowhere but I took it and RAN with it and I think I like it?? As always, thank you to my baby love @undrthelights for helping me with this and always listening to my rambling and for being my biggest enabler Ilysm

Part Two

my masterlist

"Fine! What if, hypothetically speaking of course, you were to, hypothetically, give me a, um, hypothetical, lesson or whatever." Your heart is pounding so hard you can feel your pulse throb in your neck pound in your ears. You slowly drag your hands away from your face and look at him. He stares right back at you, brows furrowed. "A what?" "Forget it. forget I said anything,” you mutter, shaking your head.  "No no wait, hang on, what do you mean? A lesson? Like a…a sex lesson?” 

"Seriously, Joel. Fuck off" you snap but with no bite or heat behind it. You bring the sweating bottle of beer to your lips and finish the rest of the now lukewarm liquid off in one gulp. 

"What? I just find it hard to believe that you've never even had a kiss. Didn't you go to high school? Didn't you ever get invited to a party? Didn't you go to college? College kids do the do like all the time” 

"Clearly not all the time" you mutter, a tad bitterly.

Joel raises his hands defensively and takes a sip of his own beer. "Just seems crazy is all. There's gotta be some chick or dude out there willing to take pity on you and pop your cherry."

You audibly gag at his choice of words. "I don't need a pity fuck, thanks." You stand from the couch and head over to the fridge. The bottles of cold alcohol inside are calling your name and you want something that will help soothe your nerves. You're not a big drinker, but when Joel is prying into your love life like he is now, you wish you were.

"Okay,” he starts from the living room. “Maybe I worded that wrong. What I meant to say was, there's gotta be someone out there who would be more than willing to show you a good time."

You groan and let your forehead fall against the fridge door. "That's the whole point! I came here to get advice for my date, someone who might actually be interested in me, and all you've done is make fun of me for not having fucked anyone yet. So thanks, Joel. You're a real pal."

You push away from the fridge and slam the door shut, a second beer in hand.

"Alright, alright, calm down." He says, hands in the air as if you were holding him at gunpoint as you head back to the couch. "Look, if this guy really likes you then he's not gonna care. Probably won't even be able to tell if you are or aren't."

"You think so?" You ask hopefully.

"Well, I mean, unless you're like... super bad."

Your heart drops into your stomach and you glare at him, "Joel."

"Oh come on, I'm kidding. You're not gonna be bad, okay? Just, go into it with an open mind and just relax. If he tries something you're not comfortable with or makes you feel weird, tell him. And if he gets pussy, dump his ass."

"That simple, huh?" You scoff.

"Well, yeah. You're the one who made it complicated by thinking it was a big deal."

"It is a big deal, Joel! I know nothing!

"Nothing? You ain’t ever watched porn? Jesus, I had no idea you were such a prude."

You can't stop yourself from rolling your eyes and slapping the back of your hand against his arm. He yelps and laughs, rubbing his arm.

"I've watched porn before" you retort. 

"What kind?" he asks with a wiggle of his brows.

"None of your fucking business" you respond, feeling your face heat up.

Joel's lips quirk into a shit-eating grin and you're quick to smack him again.

"Okay okay, sorry!" he says through his laughter. "So what exactly are you afraid of?"

You're not really sure how to answer. It's a combination of so many things, most of which are irrational fears and insecurities. Sure you've seen it all done before, but you're well aware that none of it is realistic. At least, not completely. And just the fact that you're freshly 25 years old without a single notch in your bedpost makes you dizzy with anxiety. It's not like you're saving yourself or anything, it's just that hook up culture has never agreed with you and there's never been an opportunity that made you feel like it was the right one. That is until now, with your cute coworker who you thought was miles out of your league asking you out on a third date. And now, the prospect of being in bed with him is looming over you like a dark cloud and the last thing you want to do is mess it up.

"I guess, I'm just afraid that he's gonna be disappointed, or I'm gonna weird him out, or I'm gonna do something wrong and embarrass myself.” Joel nods along and listens. "And if it is bad then we still have to work with each other and then what if it's awkward and everyone knows about it and then he hates me and--"

"Okay, whoa slow down there, buddy" Joel says, putting a hand on your shoulder. "One, you're overthinking this. You're literally thinking like, five steps ahead of what's actually going on. It's a date. And even if it does end up in the bedroom, you don't have to do anything you don't want to. No one's forcing you, okay? He can't. No one can."

"I know, but I want to," you reply quietly.

"Alright. Then do."

"I don't know howwww!! " you whine, flopping backwards into the couch.

Joel groans and sits up a little straighter, scrubbing a hand down his face. 

"Well, there's no magic trick, I don't have a secret sex manual I'm holding out on ya."

You sigh, shoulders sagging as you look over at him. The idea comes out of nowhere, well, not exactly from nowhere, but it pops in your head so fast that you then have to bite your tongue before the words bubbling up from your throat come tumbling out. 

It's not a bad idea, not necessarily. 

You've been good friends with Joel ever since you moved in next door last year. An unlikely pairing, a 40 year old contractor and an almost 25 year old office worker. But after offering him a six pack as part of introducing yourself to the neighbors, you'd gotten along famously. He fixes things around your house and you send him home with hot dinners and warm, gooey cookies.

 It's an easy friendship, open and honest and supportive, and Joel has never given you reason not to trust him. He's a good guy, if not a little brash, but you know deep down he means well. And it doesn't hurt that he's objectively attractive, with his tall and sturdy frame, strong, calloused hands, dark messy curls....It's not a bad idea.

It's an absolutely insane idea. 

You continue to stare at him, clenching your teeth together to hold back the question sitting on the tip of your tongue.

"What?" he says, looking back at you.

"Nothing" you mutter, eyes flicking away.

"You've got that face you make when you're about to say something really stupid, so just get it out."

You glare at him again, not enjoying the way he can read you so well.

"I wasn't gonna say anything."

"Well now you're lying."

"I'm not."

"You're doing it again!"

"Doing what?!"

"That face!"

"I'm not making a face!"

"Yes you are! Just spit it out!"

You groan and hide your face in your hands. You blame it on the one beer even though you know you’re not anywhere close to being drunk because how else would you justify what you’re about to say? You wait a moment, thinking about the weight of it but your mouth opens before you can stop yourself. 

"Fine! What if, hypothetically speaking of course, you were to, hypothetically, give me a, um, hypothetical, lesson or whatever."

Your heart is pounding so hard you can feel your pulse throb in your neck and hear it in your ears. You slowly drag your hands away from your face and look at him. He stares right back at you, brows furrowed.

"A what?"

"Forget it. forget I said anything,” you mutter, shaking your head. 

"No no wait, hang on, what do you mean? A lesson? Like a…a sex lesson?” 

His eyes are wide, and he looks incredulous. You can't blame him, because the more time that passes between your suggestion and now, the more ridiculous the idea seems.

"I’m sorry, that was…It was stupid. Pretend I didn't say anything. Let's just watch a movie." You move to grab the remote, but Joel's hand covers yours, stopping you.

"Is that what you want?"

You look at him, searching his expression for any sign of disgust or apprehension. But all you can see is the same Joel you've known for months, patient, warm, and understanding.

"I know. I know it's stupid. But I can't get this date out of my head, Joel. It's all I can think about and the more I do, the more worried I get and I just don't want to fuck it up. And I know we're friends and this is weird and gross, but I just thought that... maybe, I could have some practice, so to speak."

He doesn't say anything. Just keeps looking at you, the panic rising in your chest the longer the silence stretches. You start to fidget, wringing your hands together in your lap.

"I'm sorry, that was way out of line" you say, moving to stand up, your skin sweaty and hot with embarrassment and your feet ready to run out the door and never come back. 

But Joel catches your wrist, gently pulling you back down to sit next to him.

"Joel" you whine, not wanting him to humiliate you any further.

"It's okay, come here."

His voice is softer than before, and his eyes are kind. You let him pull you closer, the two of you sitting knee to knee. You can't bring yourself to look him in the eyes, not with your cheeks and the tips of your ears burning like they are, but Joel doesn't push. He simply moves his hand from your wrist, sliding it into yours. His palms are rough and warm, and the simple touch alone is comforting.

"You really wanna do this?” he asks softly. You can feel his eyes boring into you. “I mean, I'm not exactly a prize winning catch. And it's not like there's a shortage of willing men out there."

You shrug and chew the inside of your lip.

"Yeah, but you're my friend and I...I trust you."

There's another pause, and you wish that you could just disappear into the couch and erase this moment from your memory.

"How drunk are you?" he asks, glancing at the beer bottle on the coffee table.

"You saw me finish one bottle. And half of another. I’m barely tipsy."

"Not drunk?”

"Nope."

"You're gonna remember this tomorrow."

"Uh huh."

"And you still want to?"

You groan for the millionth time and squeeze his hand.

"Yes I want to! Look, if you don't want to then that's fine. It was just a dumb suggestion and we can just forget this ever happened."

He hums, considering your words. His hand slips out of yours, and you think that's it, you've scared him off and washed the friendship down the drain. That you'll have to hide from him from now on, that you'll have to pack your things up and move because the mortification would be too much, and that he'll hate you, and—

His two fingers sliding under chin surprise you, and he tilts your head up. He's looking down at you with that same even expression, eyes big, soft, and warm as he slides his hand over to cup your jaw in his palm. 

"If you want to stop at any point, just say so, okay? I won't be upset and we can go back to the way things were before. Got it?"

You nod, your throat suddenly too tight to speak. His thumb sweeps over your cheekbone, the tender touch is enough to make your heart skip a beat. There’s no way this is actually happening. That your first kiss is going to be with your 40 year old menace of a neighbor. That you’re going to, how did you put it, get a sex lesson from him. His gaze flicks down to your lips and back up to your eyes and you’re positive you’re no longer able to breathe. 

"Can I kiss you?" he asks softly. You nod. 

You're sure he can hear the thumping of your heart in his own ears as he leans down. His other hand comes to rest on your hip and when his lips touch yours, a soft, tentative pressure, you're not prepared for the electricity that shoots through you.

He's barely done anything and already you feel like you're floating. Your own hands reach out to clutch his shirt, keeping him close, afraid he'll pull away and leave you cold and wanting if you don't. But he stays put, pressing himself against you, his lips working gently against yours. You follow his lead, kissing him back while trying not to overthink it.

It's nothing like the kisses in the movies or the books, where fireworks explode behind your eyelids or where your foot pops up in the air. It's far more subdued, more quiet and subtle. But the warmth that pools low in your belly and the goosebumps that erupt on your skin when his tongue slides against the seam of your lips, light and quick, makes you absolutely melt. 

He pulls back before you can really react, and you're left with a dizzying rush of both blistering desire and excruciating anxiety. You want to pull him back in and never let him go. But your heart is beating so fast you can hardly breathe, your nerves are buzzing, and the urge to run and hide is nearly paralyzing. 

"Was it bad?" you ask tentatively, cheeks heated.

"No" he replies, giving your hip a squeeze as a smirk plays on his lips. "It was fucking awful. Worst kiss of my life"

"Shut up!" you hiss, pushing him away with a hand on his chest. He laughs, the sound easing some of the tension in your body. 

"I'm just teasing" he says, voice dropping lower. "C'mere, we can work on it."

His lips find yours again, and you try not to smile into the kiss but it's hard when you can feel the way his lips are quirked up as well. It doesn’t take much else to get you to relax and let yourself fall into the moment, into the gentle press of his mouth and the warm hands on your hip and your cheek. He swipes his tongue against your lips again, his fingers pressing lightly into the hinge of your jaw to tilt your head back and coax your lips apart.

You let him, sighing as his tongue glides across yours, hot and smooth and sweet. Your hands slide up his chest, finding purchase around his shoulders, and when you move forward, pushing yourself against him, he grunts softly but lets you. He kisses you until the both of you are gasping for air, and when he pulls back, his lips are wet and red and you're certain yours must be as well.

"Better?" you ask, a bit breathless.

"Getting there" he answers with, his breath warm where it fans across your cheek. 

"You're such a liar" you say with a goofy smile.

"Yeah, I know. Now try again, practice makes perfect.” 

You roll your eyes but lean back in nonetheless. It's a bit more heated this time, the feeling of his teeth nibbling on your bottom lip making you squirm. His hand rounds over your hip, palm smoothing to the small of your back to pull you closer, the heat of his body radiating through your clothes and warming your skin. Your hands move on their own accord, no thought behind the action as they slide up to his shoulders and then his neck, your fingers finding home in the curls at the base of his skull. When you give them a slight tug, you're rewarded with a muffled grunt from Joel. Emboldened, you pull back, lips swollen and tingling.

"You’re a good kisser,” you pant. "Is that something people usually say?"

"When it’s true" he says, grinning at you. "And since I know you're gonna ask, I'd say that was a C+, maybe a B-."

You scoff but blush furiously at the smile he flashes, his eyes crinkling in the corners.

"Well then, tell me what to do next. What do I need to know?"

Joel hums as he thinks for a moment. 

"What do you want to do?"

You stare at him for a second, blinking.

"I don't know, that's why I'm asking you" you say, shaking your head a bit.

"Well, how far do you want to take this?"

You swallow hard, suddenly feeling very shy. You can’t deny that when the idea popped in your head it was accompanied by the mental image of you naked, spread out on his bed, but the actual act of asking him, or better yet, actually doing it is... intimidating to say the least. Are you really about to let him go all the way, to see you bare and vulnerable, let him pop your cherry as he would disgustingly put it? All just to “prepare” for a date with a guy who might not even like you that way?

Yeah, probably.

"All the way" you answer. “I want to go all the way” 

He doesn’t pounce on you like you expected, doesn’t press his lips against yours in a frenzied kiss that you had half hoped for. Instead, he simply looks at you, his brown eyes boring into yours, searching.

"Are you sure? You can always say no and you're not gonna lose me as a friend if this isn’t what you actually want. I don’t want you thinking that."

You can't help the laugh that bubbles up and slips out, because of course Joel, your kind, thoughtful Joel, would say that. He's a good man. A great one, even.

"Yes, I'm sure. But if you don't, I get it, I can just leave and-"

Joel laughs, the sound traveling up from deep in his chest, the rumble vibrating against you.

"Sweetheart, I wouldn't be doin’ this if I didn't want to. Just makin’ sure this is what you really want."

"I want it.” 

He squeezes your hip and swipes a thumb over your cheekbone once again. 

“Alright then.” He nods, firm and resolute, and then looks around the room. “ We’re not doing it here, though. If you're getting the full Joel Miller experience, we're gonna do it right.” 

Your eyes roll reflexively, but your heart picks up its pace regardless.

"I’m not gonna do anything if you call it that ever again."

"Fine, fine,” he relents. “Let me show you what a good, thorough fucking feels like. Better?"

Your jaw drops, and he's laughing at you, his body shaking with amusement.

"Fuck you" you grumble, shoving him away while trying to hide your coy smile. 

"Yeah, that's what I'm hoping for," he says with a wide, self-assured grin.

"I'm leaving" you declare with a false sense of offense as you rise to your feet. Joel is quick to do the same and before you can take a single step away, he slips a finger through the belt loop of your jeans and tugs you back into him, wrapping an arm around your waist.

"I’ll stop, I’ll stop. I'm sorry" he says, not sounding it one bit.

You huff, but let him pull you closer until you’re pressed against his chest and you have to tilt your head back to look at him.

"I’ll be good. I promise."

"Liar"

"Well, yeah. But I can promise that I'll make you feel good."

You can't help the giggle that spills out and he kisses it away, his lips warm and plush and sweet against yours. The hand not resting on your lower back comes up, curling around the nape of your neck and keeping you close. You sink into him, and the fog creeps in again, dulling the rest of the world, making it seem fuzzy and distant, like the memory of a dream. All you can focus on is him, the warm solid weight of him against you, the strong arms holding you, the way his mouth moves against yours. And then he’s pulling back all too soon and you have to stifle a whine.

"Come on" he says, tugging at your hand.

His bedroom is dim, the little lamp on his nightstand and the faint glow of the moon through the curtains providing the only light. You swallow and take a deep breath as you step inside, your bare toes digging into the plush carpet, his hand warm and large where it grips yours.

He holds onto you as he sits on the edge of the bed. You step forward, letting him pull you between his knees. His hands settle on your hips, and you can feel their heat through the fabric of your shirt.

He doesn’t ask if you're sure again and you’re grateful because you’re not sure if you could form any kind of response right now. Instead, he slides his hands up and under your shirt, fingers dancing across your skin and leaving a trail of goosebumps. Your breath hitches as his hands smooth over your ribs and around to your back, the tips of his fingers mapping out the curve of your spine, skimming over each notch and bump. They climb higher, the fabric of your shirt bunching around his wrists. 

“Can I take this off, baby?”

Your heart jumps to your throat but you nod anyway. He grabs the hem and tugs your shirt up and and you lift your arms so he can slip it off over your head. He tosses it aside, the fabric falling to the floor beside the bed. You’re left exposed, vulnerable and bare, save for the worn out bra you wear, a few too many washes and a few years past its prime.

Your hands itch where they hang by your side with the instinct to cover yourself, hide the imperfections that you know so well, the stretch marks, the softness of your stomach, the way the cups of your bra are just a bit too small and spill over the tops.

But then he’s pressing his lips to the space just above your navel, his scruff tickling your skin and making the muscles in your abdomen jump and twitch. His hands find your waist again, and when his lips continue their path upwards, his palms follow, skimming up your sides, thumbs tracing the outline of your ribs before stopping at the band of your bra.

"This too?" he asks, voice quiet and husky.

"Yeah" you answer with a squeak, and he grins like a kid in a candy store.

His fingers undo the clasp deftness that makes your knees go weak, the straps slipping from your shoulders and the whole thing sliding down your arms, landing somewhere near your shirt. 

"God, baby, look at you" he murmurs, his hands cupping the underside of your breasts, his thumbs sweeping over the tops and then down the slope and around your nipple. Your breath hitches, the gentle touch sending a shiver up your spine. "You're fucking perfect."

The praise is unexpected and it sends a jolt of heat through your core. You whimper quietly and his hands are on you again, the calloused palms rough on the soft skin of your breasts. He kneads the flesh, squeezing gently before rolling your nipples between his fingers, pulling and pinching and teasing. 

He pulls you closer and ducks his head, his tongue darting out to wet his lips. He looks up at you through his lashes, eyes dark and hooded, and his pupils blown wide with desire.

"Can I?" he asks.

"Please."

He leans in and wraps his lips around a peaked nipple, his tongue swirling around the sensitive nub, the gentle heat of his mouth on your skin making your knees weak.

His mouth works on one breast, tongue flicking and teasing while his free hand continues its work on the other. Pleasure builds and coils deep inside, the sensation unfamiliar but certainly not unwelcome. You whimper and he pulls away, releasing your nipple with a wet pop before giving it a sweet parting kiss.

He turns his attention to the other, his teeth grazing over the stiff peak and drawing a whine from your lips. He sighs when your fingers tighten in his hair, pulling at the strands until he groans softly against you. He sucks your other nipple into his mouth, the flat of his tongue pressing against it and dragging up and around, swirling and flicking. You’re already breathless, panting, a thin sheen of sweat glistening on your forehead.

"Feels good, Joel," you whisper shyly. 

"I know, honey" he says, a soft smile pulling at his lips when he pulls away. "Feel good anywhere else?"

He doesn't wait for a response, simply slips a hand between your thighs, cupping you through the denim, the simple action making you squeak.

"Here, huh?" he says, the heel of his palm pressing against you.

You gasp softly and nod, biting your lip, too shy to say anything.

"Get on the bed, baby."

You comply, crawling onto the mattress and scooting backwards towards the pillows, sitting at the head of the bed as you watch him. His eyes never leave you as he pulls his shirt over his head, tossing it onto the floor. Your heart thumps as you stare at his bare chest, his tanned skin dotted with a light dusting of salt and pepper hair. He's broad, his shoulders thick and chest solid. Your fingers burn with the urge to reach out and touch him, so you do, extending a tentative, slightly shaky hand.

He watches you closely, eyes flitting down to the palm pressed against his chest before meeting yours again, his mouth curling into a smile.

"You can touch" he says, reaching down to curl a hand around your wrist and bringing it up to his lips, pressing a kiss to the center of your palm before guiding your hand back down to his chest. "I think most people would enjoy that."

"You're having entirely too much fun with this,” you mumble while your fingers spread out across his pec.  

"It is fun" he counters, his own hand sliding up the inside of your thigh, thumb pressing against the seam of your jeans and rubbing up and down. "But it'll be more fun once these come off"

Your lips part, a puff of air rushing out.

"You gonna take them off?" you ask, the words slipping out, bold and unbidden.

He grins, his brow quirking up.

"Look at you, being all bossy"

"You like it" you say, finally feeling some of the anxiety slipping away, the familiar and comfortable banter between the two of you slipping into place in a new, unfamiliar situation.

His smile takes up nearly his whole face as moves closer. 

“I sure do.” 

He looms over you, bracing himself on an elbow next to your head before ducking down to kiss you, his tongue easily slipping into your mouth, warm and insistent. You sigh into it, your hands finding the warm, bare skin of his back, muscles gliding beneath your palms as you slide them up and around, fingertips digging into his shoulders. He's so warm and solid and you can't help the little noise that slips out, a soft, needy moan. You're about to break the kiss and beg him to touch you, give you something, anything, but he pulls back before you can. 

"Impatient. I like that too" he says, voice barely above a whisper.

He kisses the corner of your mouth, then your cheek, then down your neck, his beard scraping against your skin. He continues his path, pressing wet, open-mouthed kisses across your collarbones and down the valley between your breasts, his beard tickling your sternum.

His palm presses into the top of your thigh, and you instinctively open your legs for him, his hand immediately moving to cup you through the denim, thick fingers pressing against the seam and the bundle of nerves just below. Your hips rock up, seeking more pressure and he grins, entirely too pleased with himself right now.

You huff, and he laughs, the sound rumbling in his chest, but he relents, undoing the button and zipper of your jeans and tugging the fabric down, revealing the pair of pink panties underneath. 

Joel sits up, pulling your jeans down your legs and letting them drop off the side of the bed, the sound of the denim hitting the floor indicating that you've officially crossed a line that neither of you can come back from. But if the hungry, desperate look on his face and the way you're practically vibrating underneath him are any indication, neither of you want to.

"I'll start with just my fingers, yeah?" he says, his hands running up the insides of your thighs, touch light and teasing, the tips of his fingers brushing the edge of your panties. You nod dumbly, at a complete loss for words right now.

He ducks his head, his lips landing on the smooth skin stretched over your hip bone. You squirm, ticklish, and he grins. His mouth is a great distraction from his hand, which has found its way back in between your legs, his fingers now pressing against damp fabric.

"Shit" he curses, his touch firm. "Fuckin' soaked already. Am I just that good?" he quips with a smirk.

"Jesus do you ever shut up" you gripe, but the effect is ruined by the whimper that escapes you when his thumb sweeps up, pressing hard against your clit. 

"Oh, that's a pretty sound" he murmurs, repeating the motion to pull out another one, your hips bucking against his hand.

"Now," he starts, his tone shifting to the same one he uses when he's about to impart some life lesson. "This guy you're gonna see, or any man for that matter, should always take care of you before himself. That's just common fuckin' sense. And if he doesn't, you send him on his way" he continues. "Because a man that don't wanna see a woman get off is no fuckin' man at all"

You're about to interrupt, tell him he's an idiot and ask him to please, please, get on with it, but his fingers sliding under the elastic of your panties, swiftly pulling them down your legs steals the breath from your lungs. Your pulse sky rockets and you shift underneath him, crossing your thighs in instinctual effort to hide yourself from him. 

"M'sorry I didn't shave or anything" you blurt out, your throat tight with anxiety and embarrassment once again 

Joel just shakes his head as he pries your legs apart.

"Baby, I could not give less of a shit about that."

"But-"

"No" he says, the word firm, an edge of command to his tone. "You’re not apologizin’ for that. And if a man gives a shit, he's a fuckin' child who doesn't deserve the honor of bein' between these thighs" he says, pushing your knees further apart.

You nod and bite your lip, the words that are just so very Joel, settling in your chest and easing the tension in your body. You let out a long, slow breath and relax, trying to ease the nervousness.

"There ya go" he says, his fingers dancing along your slit, gathering the slick pooling there. You shudder at the gentle touch, your hips rolling up just a bit before you force them back down into the mattress, trying to keep yourself still.

"Nuh-uh. None of that" he says, immediately noticing the movement. He slides his free hand under you, his palm pushing into the small of your back and encouraging you to move again, to lean into your pleasure. "You take what you want, baby. Show me how good it feels. That's all I wanna see."

You squirm and whimper, the simple, almost lazy touch driving you insane. You've touched yourself before, brought yourself over the edge while imagining what it would be like to have the things you read about and watch in videos happen to you. But you've never managed to make yourself feel this good, never felt pleasure so intense, never felt a burning pressure in your abdomen so demanding that it radiates all the way to the tips of your fingers and toes.

And he's barely touched you.

"How's that feel?"

You can't even form the words, so you just nod and hum, the sound a mix of a whimper and a moan, your hips rolling up against his palm. He chuckles, and then the pressure increases, the friction building, his fingers slipping down, collecting more of your wetness to ease the drag against your skin.

He moves his fingers down, down, down, the tip of one circling your entrance, gathering the wetness pooling there. You whine loudly, any shame and modesty you once had replaced entirely with desperate need and pure desire.

"Please, Joel" you whisper, voice shaky.

"I gotcha" he says, dipping his fingertip in, just barely, and pulling a moan from deep in your chest. "Gonna give you what you need"

You groan, a long, low sound as he slowly sinks his finger into you. It's nothing like your own, so perfectly thick and long/ And you found the spot before, the spot that he curls his finger up into, but never at this angle, never with the perfect amount of pressure that he's applying right now. 

"Mmm, look at that" he coos as you clench tightly around his finger.

"Joel, god, feels so good" you whimper pathetically. 

"I know, honey, I know."

You clench again, the cockiness and self-assured attitude that usually gets under your skin now ignites your whole body in an entirely different way. He keeps his eyes on your face, watching as your eyes squeeze shut and your mouth drops open, your head tipping back as the pleasure builds.

"Another" you beg, the fullness not nearly enough.

"Greedy girl" he chides, but he pulls his finger out, and slides two back in. You swear that you could come from this alone, but he doesn't let you, the hand that was supporting your lower back disappearing, only to reappear between your thighs, his thumb circling your clit with firm, steady strokes.

White hot pleasure wraps around the base of your spine, the dual sensations of his fingers and his thumb sending you spiraling. The sounds falling from your lips are unrecognizable, high and desperate as your mind goes blissfully blank, your entire focus on the heat coiling in your abdomen. Your eyebrows pinch together and you bury your face in the pillow next to your head, trying to hide the ridiculous expression you're surely making, but you inhale the traces of his shampoo and cologne that cling to the fabric, the scent pushing you even closer to the edge. 

You try to hold back. Surely you're not supposed to come this quickly, not just from two fingers and a thumb. Surely that's a sign that you're an easy lay, or too inexperienced, or-

"Just let it happen, baby. I can feel it, Just let go" Joel says, his voice cutting through the thoughts racing through your mind, his fingers crooking inside you and dragging across the spot that makes your hips stutter and a cry fall from your lips.

You can't hold back any longer, the pleasure cresting and crashing down around you. You squeeze his fingers, your back arching, the heels of your feet digging into the mattress as you roll your hips up into his touch, seeking more and more and more. And he gives and gives and gives, working you through it and drawing it out for as long as he can before you melt into the mattress, bones and muscles liquid and warm and satisfied.

He pulls his fingers out, and the sudden emptiness draws a disappointed whine from you, his answering chuckle making you smile.

"That was- fuck" you sigh, not quite capable of coherent thought.

"Absolutely mind-blowing? Yeah I know" he teases. You roll your eyes but don't say anything because it's true, and his cocky grin fades into a soft smile, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he watches you return to Earth. 

"Can I- can I return the favor?" you ask, your gaze flicking down to the noticeable bulge in his jeans.

He grunts and shakes his head.

"Not yet. Got somethin' else in mind."

You frown and push yourself up onto your elbows, watching as he shifts from his position. You're about to ask what he's going to do until he's settling himself on his stomach between your thighs. You suck in a sharp breath as you realize exactly what he's got planned and your heart jumps, anxiety clouding your mind once again. 

He rests his cheek on your thigh, his eyes meeting yours.

"Alright?"

You swallow and nod, licking your lips.

"Yeah. Just... no one's ever-"

"Yeah, I got that much, that's why we're here" he says, smiling smugly when you glare at him. 

"But what if it's not good? Or I don't taste good? Or-"

"Stop" he says, the single word halting your runaway train of thought. "You need lessons in relaxing, not sex. You're so fucking tense all the time"

"Sorry" you say, immediately cringing.

He sighs, his breath ghosting over the skin of your inner thigh, making you shiver. "What did I say about apologizin'?" he says, his tone slightly sharp.

"I know. Sorry- shit, sorry! Fuck!"

He barks out a laugh and you huff, bringing up both hands to scrub over your face.

"See what I mean?"

"Yes, yes, you're very smart and know everything"

He hums and nips at your thigh.

"Damn right I do."

You want to snark back, but his mouth is moving, his lips trailing down the inside of your thigh and towards where you're aching for him, slick and wet and throbbing. He takes his time, laying kisses on your thighs, hips, and stomach, his scruff scraping the sensitive skin, huffing out a laugh when you start to squirm, your patience wearing thin.

His hands smooth over the soft flesh of your inner thighs, urging you to spread them wider before spreading you open with his thumbs, exposing you completely. You feel exposed, vulnerable, and the urge to close your legs and hide yourself from his gaze is overwhelming, the embarrassment making your skin burn. But before you can even think about closing them, his tongue is on you, sliding up the length of you and circling your clit. The moan that escapes you is embarrassingly loud and high pitched, but the mortification is easily swallowed up by the pleasure.

He hums against you, the sound and the feeling sending a shudder through your body. Your hands grip the pillow behind your head and you try not to buck up into his mouth, but your attempts are futile. He doesn't seem to mind though, in fact you think it spurs him on, his tongue flattening against you and lapping at you messily, the wetness he's coaxed from you smearing across his mouth and chin.

The sound is lewd and obscene, the sloppy, slick noises and the soft grunts and groans that rumble in his chest as he works you up. He pulls back, his breath coming out in pants, his chest heaving as he looks up at you, his eyes dark and hooded.

"Don't know what you were worried about" he says, his voice low and raspy. "You taste fuckin' divine"

His beard is shiny and damp, his lips glistening, hair messy from where your fingers were tangled in it. The sight of him looking so completely disheveled and filthy has you clenching around nothing, the ache almost too much to bear.

He doesn't say anything else, just ducks his head and gets back to work, his mouth moving with a renewed urgency, his hands gripping your thighs and pushing them further apart, allowing him better access.

Your eyes roll back and your mouth falls open, a constant stream of moans and whines and babbling pleas and praises falling from your lips, but you're not really sure what you're saying, not really sure of anything except the intoxicating pleasure coursing through your veins.

You hear him moan, can feel the vibration against your skin, and you glance down at him, and that's a mistake. The sight of him, his eyes closed and brows drawn together in concentration, his cheeks hollowed out as he sucks and nips and laps at you and– is he fucking grinding his hips into the mattress?

You're fucked.

A throaty moan tumbles past your lips as your hips start to rock, a rhythm forming as you chase your orgasm. His hands leave your thighs and he slides one arm up, the weight of it resting against your abdomen to keep you still while his other hand snakes down, fingers dipping inside again, finding the spot that makes you see stars.

"Fuck, Joel, please, oh my god, I'm so- please"

He groans in response, the hand on your stomach pressing down harder to meet the two fingers curling and stroking inside of you. You cry out at the increased pressure right as he wraps his lips around your clit, sucking and swirling his tongue around the bud, his fingers moving faster and faster. Flames lick up your spine and spread throughout your body, threatening to burn you alive. 

Your orgasm hits you like a freight train, knocking the wind out of you and turning your limbs to jello. Wave after wave of blinding euphoria crashes over you and all you can do is cling to the pillow and arch your back, your toes curling as he continues to work his fingers and tongue, happily letting you ride his face and grind into his mouth.

He doesn't let up, not until you're a whimpering, trembling mess, physically pushing his head away when it becomes too much. He pulls back reluctantly, a wicked grin plastered to his face, his chin and mouth absolutely soaked. You're panting, struggling to catch your breath as the aftershocks make you shiver despite the content warmth spreading throughout your entire body.You feel sated and sleepy, a bone deep satisfaction making you feel boneless. 

But as you come down from your high, rational thoughts start to filter in and you suddenly remember the reason this all started in the first place.

You're here to learn, he should be teaching you how to please a man.

How to please him. 

You watch as he gets off the bed and wipes his chin with the back of his hand. Your eyes shamelessly rake over him, the dusty pink flush that decorates his neck and chest, the curve of his belly down to the impressive bulge in his jeans. 

You push yourself up, ignoring the way your arms tremble with the effort. He looks at you, his eyes scanning your face no doubt looking for signs of distress.

"You ok?" he asks, eyebrows pinched together in his typical concerned Joel fashion.

"Yeah" you say, a little breathlessly. "But I still want to..."

Your voice trails off and you glance down at his crotch, hoping he gets the message.

"That's alright, baby. It's a lot, we don't-"

"No" you interrupt, a hint of desperation in your voice. "You said you would teach me. Please, Joel. I-I wanna learn" You hope it's a good enough cover to the fact that you really just want him, your original goal forgotten. "I just don't want to embarrass myself" you add, pouting slightly for good measure, praying to god that he can’t detect the underlying want for him and him only.

He watches you for a moment, seemingly contemplating his decision. And then his eyes narrow, because of course he knows. There's never been an instance where you succeeded in lying to this man. He always, always knows when something is off.

"Alright" he says, a slow smile spreading across his face, something mischievous sparkling in his eyes. "Dick sucking class is now in session"

You groan, your face twisting with visible disgust.

"Oh my god, that was terrible."

"What? It's true" he says with a shrug.

"That is- no, no way. Never say those words ever again. Ever." you say, pointing a finger at him accusingly.

"Or what?" he challenges, taking a step towards the bed.

You gulp and lick your lips.

"Or..."

He waits expectantly for a response. You have none, so you just shake your head and look away.

"Yeah, that's what I thought"

You glare at him and then sigh.

"You're a bully"

"Am I?” He asks, taking a step back to give you more room. “ 'Cause you're the one that asked me to teach ya. On your knees, kid. Let's see whatcha got."

You chew on the inside of your cheek, trying to suppress a grin. You don't know how he does it, but his ability to make a joke or a quip out of anything always has a smile tugging at the corner of your lips, even when the jokes are awful and the puns are terrible. Even when the joke is about you getting ready to suck his dick. 

"You're a bully and a pervert" you say, sliding off the bed and sliding to your knees, the plush carpet doing a decent job at protecting your joints.

"And proud of it.”

"Pride is a sin."

"So is premarital sex, so I'll see you in hell, honey"

You snort and look up at him from your place on the floor, grinning widely.

"You're ridiculous"

"You love it"

And that's the thing, isn't it?

Because you do. You love his innate ability to make you laugh, to make you smile even when he's about to take your fucking virginity. He knows how to comfort you, how to put you at ease, when to push you with his teasing and when to pull back and let you take control. You've never met a person who has so effortlessly made their way into your heart.

And here you are, on your knees for him under the false pretense of practicing for a man who's name you can't even remember right now.

You shake your head, the motion clearing the thoughts and the emotions that were swirling in your head, the ones that make you want to stand up and kiss him, kiss him until your lips are numb and you're left gasping for air.

"Joel?" you say his name softly.

"Yeah, baby?"

"Teach me."

Part 2 is already in the works I promise hehehe thank you for reading I hope u all enjoy!!

[bubbles-for-all-of-us]

No longer yours to keep

summary: what happens when you and Xaden bond with mated dragons but you're already dating Garrick?

warning: pretty suggestive, some iron flame spoilers.

Kind of part II

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For as long as you could remember it had been you three against the world. Your families had been extremely close so it was inevitable for your three to end up being best friends. And it was like that until you all started to grow up. And once the teenage years kicked in so did the desire to explore and learn new things.

You mingled in this relationship with no boundaries, no labels for a bit. Until Xaden had to uphold his duties. Had to agree to be engaged to a girl just for the sake of power. That of course meant that you and Garrick had been slightly pushed to the side. Xaden was barely free to spend time with you, barely there for your usual nights out. Meaning that you and Garrick fell into this easy rhythm. This bonding over losing a friend you two loved dearly. And without any big gestures. Without any grand signs had fallen in love.

Garrick had always been made of sharp edges, similar to Xaden. Just Xaden used that as a form of self-defense when he needed to be out in the public and Garric... He had always been on the rougher side. Had always been harder to read. To predict. But he was an amazing lover. There wasn't a moment where you felt unseen or unheard. Yes, he had his moments but once he stewed over them, he would always come to apologize. To make it right. And he was so protective. Boy, was he protective. It was both a charming thing because it empowered you even more but... it was frightening too because Garrick's heart was in your hands, he had let you in deeper than anyone else. And you had planned to keep it forever. Had planned but...

But then threshing came. You three were at the top of your squad. Ready to grasp the best spots in the section. Garrick and Xaden were already waiting when you emerged. They had remained close friends throughout the years. Lost had changed and in all honesty it was you who bitched to Xaden the most. "We can do the next shipment after we bond with dragons", Xaden said quietly. There was a revelation brewing. And surprise, surprise Xaden was at the top of it. "I'll get the boys to take the boxes tonight", Garrick said, as his arm sneaked around your waist, "Hey", he muttered pressing his lips to your temple. "Everything's okay?", you asked, earning a nod from them both. "Excited to bond?", you looked across the field as the wind picked up.

"I have my eyes set on a dragon I want", Xaden said firmly. "Of course you do", you rolled your eyes, suddenly feeling the urge to cling to Garrick as if this might as well be the last time you two were gonna see one another. "You're okay?", Garrick wrapped an arm over your shoulders, you hesitated for a moment but... they were your childhood friends after all.

"I just have this weird feeling", you breathed out, "Like something is about to change". Xaden snicked from beside you and Garrick threw him a glare. "We will be bonding with dragons today, princess", Xaden mused. "Might be. Don't be too full of yourself", you bit back, Garrick instantly brought you closer to him, hands on your hips, "Don't bite his throat out, baby". Xaden pushed away from the wall, "I'll see you two there".

You huffed out a breath. You didn't want to be a bitch but that man was grinding your gears at times. He was also putting himself in so much danger and for what? A fucking title? "Tell me about what's worrying you", Garrick cupped your face. Your eyes met his. God, you loved this man. "I just have a bad feeling", you muttered, "I don't think that anyone is dying today but... I think that things are going to be different. Really different". Garrick tilted his head to the side as he watched you. "All I care about is that you come back to me", he muttered, "with or without a dragon, I just want you back by my side". His words clenched at your heart because somehow deep down you had an inkling that that was exactly what wasn't gonna happen.

You had crossed paths with burnt flesh multiple times. Guess this year's threshing theme was roasted cadets for dinner. You were so tired. Sure, this had to end soon and you would have to admit your defeat. And just... A puff of hot air hit your back making you still. You could feel its presence behind you. You took a deep breath in before turning around. And here it stood. The biggest black dragon you had ever seen. "Holly fuck", you breathed beneath your breath.

Your head was buzzing. Every fiber of your skin was on fire. You could believe that you had bonded with a dragon. A black one at that. Black dragons rarely bonded. Lower your ego he snarled in your mind. You slide down his leg ready to give your dragon's name so you can be officially linked when an overwhelming sense of emotions hits your chest. You faltered slightly. Gripping the edge of the table a huge scroll will names was placed on it.

You hand fell on your chest as the edges of your vision blurred. You let out a pained breath as your eyes snapped up and here he stood. On the other side of the field. A blue dragon by his side. Eyes burning holes into you. Hands in fists. What the fuck... you felt an arm wrapping around your waist. Oddly enough wanting to pull away because it just didn't feel right only to find Garrick inches from you, cupping your face. And then everything went black.

Your eyes snapped open with a jolt. The moon was casting faint light over the room. Garrick was passed out beside you. His hand wrapped around your middle. You brushed your fingers through his messy hair when a wave of need rushed through you. Need that wasn't however in any way related to the man that was next to you. Come to me. The voice rang in your head making you jolt. And even if you didn't want to. And even if you tried to fight it. Tried to fall back asleep. Tried cuddling into your boyfriend. Not even fifteen minutes later you were padding through the quiet corridors.

You didn't even have a clue as to where you were going and yet here you were, standing right next to the person that had taken over your mind. "Why the fuck do I feel you in every fiber of my body, Riorson", you said through gritted teeth. Your body grew warm just from the sight of him. "Our dragons are mated", he said bluntly, puffing out a cloud of mirth-root. You instantly crossed the distance between you too, snatching the blunt and taking a hit yourself. The overwhelming feeling eased slightly, but your body still yarned for him.

"We need to sort this out, get this fixed", you muttered, brushing your fingers through your hair in frustration. "How do you plan on doing that? They have been mates for centuries. Fuck, we hadn't even been born back then", Xaden huffed out. "I'm with Garrick, I won't leave him, I...", you muttered in panic, but Xaden's hand that sneaked up your throat made your voice die down.

"They are fucking", Xaden said through gritted teeth, eyes hazy as he looked at you. You could feel it too. Gods, even the smell of him. "We can't... I can't do this to him", you pushed back, trying to keep distance between you two. "Do you think it's not eating me alive?", Xaden growled, cursing under his breath, "I watched Garrick falling head over heels for you. You're it for him, and now...", Xaden turned around, bracing a hand on the wall as he breathed. Please hold your pleasure to yourself you snarled at your dragon. But it's like your words didn't even reach him.

You took in a shaky breath, right as your eyes met Xaden, and within the blink of an eye you were pressed against the stone wall, legs wrapped around Xaden's hips. His teeth buried in your neck as you dug your nails into the back of his neck. It felt as if your body was on fire. As if only with him near you could finally breathe. "We can go back to having an open relationship", Xaden breathed against your ear. You shook your head, "Garrick will never share, we're in too deep", you muttered. Xaden let out a growl, "If he'll want to keep you, he will share, baby". His hands moved up your shirt, Garrick's shirt, and that was a reminder enough for you to push against Xaden's chest. You wiggled till he finally lost his grip on you. "If you'll challenge him for a claim of me, I swear to everything I believe in, I will suffocate you in your sleep", you pointed a warning finger at him. Xaden only chuckled, "You'll be crawling to me", he breathed out. Dark eyes watching you. "Fuck you, Riorson", you huffed, "You'll do that to baby", he mussed right as you turned around. Practically running back to your room. Heart beating in your chest so loudly that for a while it was all you could breathe.

[honey-dew-woo]

possible rooster dating hangman’s sister headcanon??🫡

I tried. It might suck. But I tried lol

Masterlist

--------------------------------------------------------------

Being Hangman's sister and having a crush on Rooster would include...

>You'd be Hangman's younger sister.

>I don't know, you just are

>I mean you know your brothers an asshole, no doubt about it

>i mean for christ's sake you grew up with him

>you of all people would know.

>so when you got recalled to the same detachment as him, you internally groaned when you found out.

>i mean you love him, you really do

>but god he can be a dick.

>when you first show up to Penny's bar and the crew is all there, they're a little nervous

>Hangman had briefly mentioned you, and there was a running bet that you'd be just as much of an asshole

>So when you show up and act like... a decent human being... everyone's so shook?

>Bradley  had watched you from across the bar

>lowkey it was kind of creepy? 

>Until Phoenix introduced you two

>hitting it off like instantly?

>"Back off my sister, Bradshaw."

>"She's her own person, Hangman. Why don't you let her make her own decisions?"

>Penny was so close to having Maverick kick both of them out...

>Tension so thick you'd have to cut it with a knife.

>Hangman would shake it off and go play pool

>You would play pool too

>While you're not a jackass, you are a pilot

>Incredibly competitive. 

>You would talk shit to anyone and everyone you'd play pool against, similarly to your brother

>But you wouldn't ever get as serious with your insults

>Speaking of serious insults

>Whenever Hangman brings up Rooster's dad

>You were livid. Pissed. Seeing red.

>You shoved your brother off of Rooster.

>"What the hell is wrong with you?"

>"What, Y/N? You still want to be a sensitive little girl for the boy you have a crush on?"

>You didn't slap him.

>You punched him.

>Knocking him off his feet, stumbling back into Coyote, who helped him up.

>You're seething with anger as you storm off. 

>Like seriously? God how is he such a dick?

>You'd find Bradley now twenty minutes later in a break room

>Maverick would pass you on the way out

>He'd think about stopping you but decided against it, Bradley just needed a friend right then

>You'd knock before entering.

>Honestly Rooster didn't know whether to accept the company or tell you to leave him alone

>A part of him thought you were on Hangman's side of the altercation

>He ultimately didn't say anything, but looked up at you with hurt eyes

>Not sad, or angry, just hurt. Defensive, almost.

>"Hey."

>You'd stop next to the couch where he's seated, patting his shoulder 

>"Hey."

>"I'm sorry about him. He's just such a jackass."

>He wouldn't say anything, just look up at you with those eyes.

>God those eyes

>You'd have to bite your cheek to prevent a frown from taking over your face

>"Bradley, I-"

>He'd cut you off before standing, placing one hand at the base of your jawline, making you look up at him

>"Can I kiss you?" He'd ask, staring into your eyes

>"No." You'd smile, warmly at him before placing your hands over his shoulders, behind his head.

>"I'm not going to kiss you so that you can get back at my brother, Bradley. But what I am going to do is be here as your friend until you two get over whatever the hell this shit is."

>And so you did. 

>And he didn't push it, either.

>But after the mission? When Hangman saved his ass and the two were good again?

>As soon as Rooster made it off that plane he found you again

>Neither of you hesitated this time, kissing each other happily

>Hangman would sarcastically clap.

>"If you hurt her-"

>"I won't."

[izvmimi]

a/n: not me butting into other people's aus but i love @strawberrystepmom's kakashi x reader au so much!!!

cw: alcohol mention. reader is at brunch with a friend (oc)!

"so you're fucking the hokage, huh?"

you nearly spit out the drink in your mouth while maemi looks at you, unphased by the words coming out of her mouth, and stirs her drink. it's 11am, there's relentless hustle and bustle at this outdoor restaurant, and the soft breeze of early spring is not enough to abate the heat rising from your mostly bare shoulders up to your jawline.

"shhh!!!" you hiss, leaning in, as though you're suddenly surrounded by reporters. maemi blinks.

"damn, you didn't even argue with me." she laughs as your complexion reddens even more, and takes another bite of eggs benedict. you're covering your face now, embarrassment thick and unrelenting, and she chews and swallows before leaning in.

"don't worry, no one is listening in. plus i'm pretty good at misdirection - good grades in genjutsu class, remember?" she insists.

you shoot her a dirty look before rising to a regular sitting position, and adjusting the pleats of your spring dress.

"fine, a codename." maemi suggests. "are we going with your usual?"

you sigh. "That Man and I have not fucked yet."

maemi looks at you, contemplating, then takes another bite.

"he's fingered you under the table, right?" she asks.

"please!"

maemi takes a sip of her mimosa, nonchalant, and gulps it down a little too quick. "manabu told me, and if he knows, more people know than you think."

your blood seems to run cold, or is it early spring chill? you can't tell. her partner doesn't seem like the gossipy type, but he does work close enough to the hokage's office that it is feasible that he's heard something - or worse, heard something.

"you know, i could tell that once you started this job it would end up like this." she taps her forehead with the back of one of her chopsticks. "you know, the authority kink and everything?"

you take out your hand and place it on the table, palm up. "knock me out right now, to be honest." maemi looks down at your hand then looks up.

"oh no, you're gonna have to ask the alcohol to do that for you." she says, declining to waste her chakra. with that statement, she finishes the rest of her mimosa, then raises her hand up for the waiter to bring them another round of drinks. once the order is given, her eyes turn foxlike as she smiles at you again.

"hey, can you get the hokage to promote me? i'm not gonna be able to compete with nepotism baby sakura at this point, unless i have some kind of backer."

you snort. "i don't think being a former hokage's apprentice necessarily counts as nepotism. maybe she's just good."

maemi furrows her eyebrows. "listen, i may not be as good as her but i'm not garbage and i need someone powerful to back me-"

you raise a hand. "even if i WERE-" you pause, then bite your lip before continuing, "making love to current Lord Sixth-"

"is that what you call him in bed?"

you can feel your head start to pound before giggling maemi raises her own hands in defeat. "sorry, no more jokes."

you cut your eyes at her, and continue, "- what makes you think i can ask that?"

maemi leans in, brown eyes glowing with humor at her own jokes. "just give him the old spit shine and be like, so i have this really, really talented friend-"

"get out." you hiss.

your next round of drinks come, and you dig into a plate of potatoes and chase it down with iced coffee. as the conversation shifts away from the fact that you are notably entangled with the most powerful man in konoha at the moment, you consider what it might mean for your future, both as a biographer but also as someone who hopes to live quietly in this country. maemi notices you are somewhat lost in thought, and stops her tirade about the hierarchy of konoha's medical-nin, and gives you a reassuring smile.

"i know i just gave you shit, but i promise if anyone bothers you, i'll be the first one at your defense. i already told manabu to write down the names of anyone who even suggests that you're anything but sweet and sought after," she mentions. "you'll be fine."

you swallow.

"thanks."

maemi gives you another look, able to tell you're not completely reassured.

"do you love him?" she asks, her voice softer this time. "... it's not wrong if you do."

you can't give her a yes now, but you can feel your heart, slowly but surely, moving towards it.

[fitrahgolden]

WEARY MEMORY: 5 - EVERY NIGHT BY THE BED

“To another successful Sharma-Bridgerton birthday bash.”

Kate and Anthony clinked beer bottles as they laid on her living room floor, propped up by pillows they'd pulled down from the couch.

Anthony took a sip before saying, “Yeah. He genuinely seemed to enjoy it, didn't he?”

“You're surprised?” Kate raised an eyebrow as she took a bite of leftover cake.

“I mean, it's what he asked for, but he's turning fourteen. I would think the, you know, typical balloons and birthday cake and games and all that with his family wouldn't hold that much appeal anymore.”

“Ah,” Kate laughed. “I think he asked for a traditional party for his siblings. Such a sweetheart. He’ll get to do something cool when he goes out with his friends tomorrow.”

“Ah.”

They sat in silence for a while. “Do you think they feel cheated out of what’s supposed to be a perk of being children of divorce?” Anthony mused.

“And what is that?”

“Two of everything. Two birthdays, two of every holiday. Just…double the stuff.”

“Oh, that. I wonder how common that actually is. Either way, no, I genuinely think they love that we still celebrate everything together.” Kate then added, a bit shyly, “So do I.”

“Hey, I do l, too,” Anthony assured her. “Definitely.”

“Yeah, you seemed to be enjoying yourself.” Kate nudged him with her shoulder.

“Oh, I did. I just… I love when everyone's together, all the grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins. I was afraid that when… Well, I'm just really happy the kids can still have that. That the five of us can still have that.”

There was a pensive shift in Anthony's eyes.

“In general, have you been OK?” Kate asked. “Violet asked me what was going on with you.”

“Did she?” Anthony rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, even though I'm probably not a good person to ask anymore.”

“Why not?” Anthony’s tone was almost defensive.

Surprised, Kate stammered a bit. “Well, um… We don't… I'm just not in your life most of the time. There's plenty that could be happening with you, and there’d be no reason for me to know.

Anthony seemed to consider that for a few moments, his brow furrowed. “You really feel like that?”

“You don't?” Kate replied, instead of thinking too hard about how sad it made her feel, the prospect of Anthony eventually becoming truly estranged from her. What will we be to each other by the time Kav is a teenager? 

“No, I don't.” Anthony was almost petulant in the sternness of his response.

“Oh.” That was all Kate could say. She took another bite of cake. 

There was an awkward silence. Anthony seemed to think of something to fill it.

“Hey. I haven't told anyone at work yet, um, I'm working on a book.”

Kate sat up. “Really?!”

Anthony nodded, reluctant pride colouring his face. 

“You’re writing again! That makes me so happy. Tell me, tell me. What's it about?”

“A mother and son fighting for the affection of a useless dog,” Anthony answered with a smirk.

Kate stared at him for a couple of seconds before whacking him with a pillow. “You'd better be kidding.”

“I'm not. Of course, you and Maan would need to grant me life rights before I publish it.”

Kate continued to glare at him, and he laughed.

“Kit, I promise, it's really cute. It'll be even cuter with your pictures.”

“What?”

“I can't publish a book without your pictures. That'd be blasphemous, coming out with a book after so long, only to have the illustrations be subpar. You ruined me for other illustrators a long time ago.”

“You're serious.”

Anthony nodded, his eyes full of…something Kate couldn't quite decipher.

“I, um…”

He reached out and patted her knee. “You don't have to answer now. But please think about it. I can show you what I have so far and… Just think about it, please.”

Kate smiled at his earnestness, ignoring the warmth his touch left behind on her leg. “I'll think about it.”

“Thank you. Now,” Anthony turned more towards her. “I have a much more important question.”

“What's that?” Kate tried to sound breezy, but was sure she failed.

“Are you, Ms. Sharma-Bridgerton, going to finish that slice of cake?”

Kate sighed a soft laugh, shaking her head as she passed Anthony her plate. He eagerly took a bite, and made a face that was too obscene for Kate to look at directly, accompanied by a sound that was just as bad.

“Fuck, Edwina can bake.”

“I know, right?

“Why doesn't she do this professionally?”

“She thinks she'd hate it if she had to do it.”

Anthony took another bite and shrugged. “That's fair. But my God.”

Kate laughed, and had to look away again. “I'm just happy Ned's favourite is the same as mine.”

“Strawberries and chocolate,” Anthony said appreciatively, looking at the fork.

“Yeah.”

“That’s what you tasted like.” His voice was low and wistful.

Warmth suddenly surged through Kate's body. “What?”

“The night we met, at that party.” He looked over at her, his eyes landing on her lips. “When I kissed you.”

Kate forced a laugh, having no idea what to do with that, what Anthony wanted her to do with that. “Well, I may or may not have been parked next to the chocolate fountain the whole time before you talked to me.”

“Oh, I know you were. Why do you think I went over there?”

“For the novelty of a chocolate fountain in a flat occupied by no one over the age of twenty-two?” Kate truly didn't know what this conversation was anymore, and Anthony didn't seem concerned with helping her out. He just wordlessly shook his head. Kate bit her lip. “That, um… That feels like three lifetimes ago.”

“It’s odd to think about. Right now, at this particular moment.”

“Why now in particular?”

“Well, we had a party for our oldest’s fourteenth birthday today. Now, we’re lying here in the living room, decompressing after putting the kids to bed. It’s exactly the kind of scene I would have dreamed about back then. But…” Anthony looked up at the ceiling. “I don’t live here.”

Kate could feel her eyes getting heavy with tears. “Right,” she whispered.

Anthony slowly shook his head, continuing to look up. “That part, I would have never seen coming.” Kate thought she saw his own eyes getting watery.  “Kit?”

“Yes?”

“Are you happy?”

Am I happy? Kate really had no idea what was happening.

“I have a really good life,” she conceded. 

Anthony nodded, but didn't let it go. “Are you happy, though?”

“I… don’t know, actually. I try not to think about it.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do if the answer is no.”

“Yeah.” He gave her half a smile. “I’m not happy,” he said simply. He propped himself up a bit more as he continued. “Kit, I think we made a mistake. We got it all wrong. I don’t think our marriage was the problem. We ran away from each other when we needed each other most.”

Kate suddenly found it hard to breathe. “Anthony–”

“I think we made a monumental, excruciatingly harmful mistake. And the five of us are so much worse off because of it.” Anthony sat up fully, and ran a hand down her arm. “Is there any part of you that agrees with me?”

“Yes.” The answer was out before Kate could even think about it. She finally made herself look back at him.

“Really?” His eyes lit up. 

“Yes. But… Well, what do we do?”

Anthony huffed out a laugh. “I have no fucking idea, Kit.” His hand reached down to cover hers. “Can I try kissing you? Maybe that will help.”

“Yes.”

Anthony approached her slowly, eyes shining with gratitude, as if this is all he's ever wanted. How long had he wanted this? How long had she? Did they ever really stop?

He placed his lips on hers carefully but confidently, like he did that first time when they were at uni. It was brief. He pulled back slightly after a couple of seconds, but didn't move away completely. Their lips hovered over each other as he waited. Kate knew that's what he was doing. Giving her the chance to end it there, or continue exploring. She chose the latter.

She surged forward while pulling him to her by his hair, and they met roughly in the middle. Anthony made a wounded sound that only resulted in Kate tightening her grip, and then he more or less fell on top of her. She giggled against his mouth, a sound that died immediately when he took that opportunity to tease his tongue past her lips. The thoughts that had temporarily vacated Kate's head started trickling back in as she felt Anthony roll her onto her back and settle between her legs, one of his hands on the back of her neck, the other disappearing under her shirt.

“Strawberries and chocolate,” he murmured as he kissed her throat.

When Anthony's fingers started playing with the button of her shorts, a thought occurred to Kate that had her pushing him back.

“Wait. This isn't right.”

He sat back on his haunches, panting. “Why not?”

“Anthony,” Kate said with derision, trying her best to ignore the state of him, his hair in utter disarray, his flushed face, black eyes, and swollen lips. “Your girlfriend?”

Anthony huffed and shook his head, still breathing heavily. “We broke up. Last month.”

“Oh.”

Anthony clasped her hands. “I promise, Kit. You know I would never–”

“No, of course. Of course.”

Anthony leaned his forehead against Kate's.

“We shouldn’t be doing this out here,” he whispered. “Not with the kids upstairs.”

“You're right. Do you want to go to my room?”

“Fuck, yes,” Anthony hissed and they laughed. “Are you sure this is what you want?”

Kate looked into her husband's eyes. A voice in her head reminded her that he wasn't her husband anymore, but a louder one said, Fuck off. Yes, he is.

“Yes, I'm sure.”

[misssugarcat]

Fair Play

Important note: If you like Leander, maybe it's better not to read the following story. 😅 I really can't stand him, so I chose him as an enemy this time. Aesop Sharp x Reader – 5,6 k words

I accidentally blew up a cauldron. Again. I am just a total bummer for potions.

Professor Sharp sighs and rolls his eyes. "Miss Mills, you really need to be more careful. How many times is this now that you've blown up a cauldron?"

"I'm not sure, Sir ..." I say sheepishly. I'd like to be good at potions, but somehow potions don't like me.

He sighs again. "Okay then. How did you blow THIS one up. Come on, I know you know what you did."

"Hmm ... I stirred in the wrong direction?" It's more of a question than an explanation.

Professor Sharp sighs for the third time and facepalms. "How in Merlin's beard do you stir in the WRONG DIRECTION?!"

"Uh … I've got a little left-right problem ..." I'm getting more and more meek.

The teacher laughed dryly. "I hope you don't have the same problem with flying a broom."

"Maybe that’s why Professor Kogawa doesn't like me that much ..." I bite my tongue. I would like to sink into the ground with shame.

He groans. "Miss Mills. I think you'll need to stay after school to keep practicing ... you can't be making the same mistakes all the time."

"In fact, the last time the cauldron exploded, it wasn't my left-right weakness that was the problem." Please, ground, just open up.

He glances at me. "And what was your problem exactly, that you're so reluctant to admit?"

" … wrong ingredient?" He will kill me.

Sharp sighs for the fourth time. "Let me fix that for you: You were not paying attention, and you were being careless. It's not hard to look at the ingredients before adding them to a cauldron, is it?"

Okay, he's not going to kill me, it'll be the next exploding cauldron.

He closes his eyes and places his hands over his face, groaning again. "Miss Mills ... did you even read the recipe?"

"I did, Sir. Really ..."

He just looks at me. "I'm disappointed. You've blown up three different cauldrons before. I hope you're not like this in your other classes."

"At least no plants have eaten me in Herbology."

He laughed dryly. "Well, at least that's an accomplishment I suppose."

"I try to take my incompetence with humour." I shrug apologetically.

"You really should just ask for help, you know. I'm sure if you just slowed down for once this wouldn't be quite as much of a problem."

I leave the classroom with my head ducked.

He facepalms behind me. "Why do they insist on making my job more difficult for me?"

My best friend Natsai Onai is waiting for me in front of the classroom. She puts a comforting hand on my shoulder. She looks genuinely concerned and asks: "Are you feeling alright? Professor Sharp can be a bit harsh sometimes."

I shake my head. "He means well. I know I'm terrible at potions. I just don't have a talent for it. I wish it was different. I wish I was different."

She tries to smile. "It's alright, Amy. Not everyone's cut out for every subject. I'm sure there's something else you're good at!" She frowned. "It is unfortunate that it had to be potions, though. I know how badly you want to be good at it."

I start to cry. Natty hugs me. "Hey now, it's okay ... it just doesn't come naturally to you, and that's okay. There's no shame in that, after all. You just might need some more help than most, and no one's gonna judge you for that, okay?"

I sniffle. "I'm such a loser."

Natsai shakes her head and keeps hugging me. "You're really not. You're kind, sweet and caring. Not everyone's a potions genius and that's fine." She holds me a little tighter and rubs my back. "There will be a subject that clicks with you. I just know there is."

"Not potions, anyway ... at least I'm good at Defense Against the Dark Arts and Transfiguration, anything to do with practical magic." I'm talented at that.

Natsai smiles. "And that's alright! Don't compare yourself to anyone else, okay? We all have talents, but we also have our weaknesses. Just don't be embarrassed to ask for help, understand?"

I nod. "Thanks, Natty. I'm already feeling better."

"Of course, that's what friends are for!" She smiles again. "We all need a bit of encouragement or support from our friends once in a while, especially when we're feeling down." She squeezes me softly, rubbing my back.

In the evening, Natty and I do our homework. We have to write a multi-page essay on the properties and use of Wiggenweld Potion for Professor Sharp.

I try to be as specific as possible this time, often asking Natty for her opinion and looking things up multiple times. My essay just has to be good this time. I want to prove to Professor Sharp that I can do more than blow up cauldrons.

When I turn in my essay, Professor Sharp is impressed. He didn't say so outright, but I can tell by the twinkle in his eye.

"Miss Mills, this is really well done! I'm impressed. You've clearly done a lot of research and put a lot of care into this essay. I would like to award you this well-deserved 20 points for Gryffindor. Well done."

I beam at him. "Thank you, Professor!"

He sighs and smiles. "Now, you need to promise me you'll be careful with your next cauldron." He laughed dryly. "I'm beginning to think you're trying to kill me with those things, Miss Mills."

I look at him in horror. "I would never dare, Sir!"

"Well, you could have fooled me!" He laughs again. "So, will you promise me you'll be careful next time? I don't want to have to use a potion to re-grow any hair that may have been burned off during your next explosion." He looks at me seriously. "Don't waste your potential, young lady."

The next time we're supposed to brew a potion, I'm very nervous. I just can't screw it up this time.

I am much more careful and precise ... and more importantly, I read the recipe over, again and again. This seemed a sign of improvement. The potion began to bubble as I stir.

"Now be very careful ... and slowly add the next ingredient." Professor Sharp glances around the cauldrons ?" Professor Sharp glances around the cauldrons It is critical to the success of the potion. Understand?"

I turn away to count my Dittany Leaves.

Suddenly Professor Sharp's voice rings out: "MR PREWETT!!! DON'T YOU DARE!"

I turn around, startled. Leander Prewett is standing next to me, a spider fang in his hand. Apparently he was about to throw it in my cauldron. I stare at Leander.

Professor Sharp glances at Leander. "What. The. Hell. Is. Your. Problem?" He looks at him angrily. "Get over to my desk, you little prick. NOW!" He looks over to you, slightly flustered.

"Sorry, Miss Mills. You can go back to your cauldron. I just have some issues with Mr. Prewett here and I'll deal with them personally."

I'm still staring at Leander as he sheepishly walks over to Professor Sharp. Then I'm starting to realize it. HE is responsible for my exploding cauldrons!

Sharp starts slamming his fist down on his desk. He is fuming. "How dare you? What the hell makes you think it's okay to sabotage someone's work just because you hate them? Or whatever stupid childish reason you came up with to do this!"

I carefully continue with my potion. I try to focus on doing everything right. And my work seems to be paying off. My potion is going very well. It was going almost perfectly, in fact. My potion was bubbling and steaming, but the consistency was perfect.

Professor Sharp looks genuinely surprised. "Well ... what do you know? There is a potions genius in between those ears of yours! Good work!" Then he glances over at Leander. "That's the last time you'll be pulling stupid pranks like that in my class. Understand?"

I'm beaming. Apparently I'm better at potions than I thought. I giggle and Natty gives me a smile. I can see how proud she is of me. She leans in to whisper in my ear. "See? I told you that you could do it if you set your mind to it. I'm proud, you did really good!"

As Leander walks past me, he gives me a sinister look. I look at him confused. He's definitely mad at me, and he's really trying to make sure that I know it.

The hairs on the back of my neck stand up. Something is wrong. I have a bad feeling.

I glance over at him. The next thing I know, there's a flash of light that catches my eye. He throws a bezoar into my cauldron. I try to say something, but it's too late.

The potion immediately catches fire and starts overflowing over the sides, and it starts to explode.

Everyone starts shouting and screaming. I take cover. Another exploding cauldron ... but at least this time it's clearly not my fault.

Everyone stares in shock as Leander begins to laugh. Leander is actually laughing – and he doesn't seem to be worried the slightest.

I can see Professor Sharp, who is fuming. "Are you trying to kill someone?! That is NOT funny! Do you know how dangerous that is?!" He screams, looking absolutely furious and disgusted with Leander. "Do you wanna explain yourself Leander?! You've clearly got a death wish if you think this is a good idea!"

Leander has gone mad. Obviously he is out of mind. Sharp is still screaming at him. "You're gonna tell me WHY you just did this, WHY it was necessary to do this TWICE now ... and then you're gonna have to write me a 20 pages essay on the dangers of using bezoars in a cauldron. He slams his hands onto the desk. He was clearly beyond the boiling point right now. "Answer. Me. Now."

Leander looks at me. He smiles. He is definitely enjoying the fact that he was getting so much attention. He clearly isn't worried about the trouble he might be in at all. "What I did was entirely justified." He laughed a little bit. "I just wanted to teach Miss Mills a lesson. I think I taught her quite well, don't you?" He looks at Professor Sharp.

My jaw drops.

"So, you're telling me that you decided to try to kill the poor girl because you were annoyed at her?" Sharp looks at him in disbelief. "How ... dare you. I will be reporting this behaviour immediately. The headmaster needs to know about this, and I would suggest you apologize now for what you did."

But Leander obviously has no desire to follow his instructions. "She's a snooty goat. She thinks she's better", he says suddenly. "She ignored me. Didn't even want to go on a date with me."

Sharp's eyes widened. "What?" He glances at Leander with a look of disgust. "You cannot be serious right now."

If my mouth wasn't already open, my jaw would drop again.

Sharp is baffled. Just a moment ago, he was furious at Leander for being completely reckless in his potions class – but now, he was nearly speechless. "Are you implying that you almost killed her ... because she didn't want to go out with you?!" He looks absolutely shocked.

I stare at them. Leander has really gone mad.

Leander is angry now. "How dare you? How dare you not want to go out with me?" Does this guy even hear himself right now? He sounds like a complete narcissist ... because that's exactly what he is.

I feel dizzy.

Leander continues ranting. He's really starting to lose his temper. "Fine. If you won't go out with me, I guess I'll have to make sure you can't go out with anyone else." He starts to pace, clearly in some kind of rage. I had never seen someone get so upset about me not wanting to be with them ... and yet here I am. I have a front row seat.

"You are such a bitch", Leander looks at me full of anger. Then he spits at me.

The spit hits me. I stare at him. He's totally off his rocker this time.

Sharp is still watching in complete shock. He looks at Leander, looking absolutely furious. "Are you insane?! You just spat on a student because they wouldn't go out with you?!" He was livid. Leander had completely lost the plot, he is completely out of control now.

I crawl under the next table before Leander goes completely insane.

Leander laughs a sick little laugh. He actually thought that my reaction was funny. He's definitely a complete nutjob. He's going to get himself suspended or something else at this rate, and he doesn't even care. In fact, he's almost enjoying the fact that everyone is staring at him.

Then Leander suddenly turns around and leaves the classroom laughing. I stare after him. I just can't believe what just happened. It was like a bad movie. He leaves the room, a look of insane arrogance on his face.

The whole class is staring at me now, everyone's worried and scared. I can see on their faces that this is the first time they've seen Leander explode like that. They were never prepared to see someone as angry, violent and arrogant as Leander just became.

Professor Sharp walks over to me and helps me out from under the table. "Are you alright? Do you need to go to the hospital wing? You don't look so good ..." He looks at me, worried.

I shake my head. Actually, I just want to go to my dormitory. But I'd have to go through the Gryffindor common room to do that. Where Leander could be ... I stare at Professor Sharp, realizing I'm not even safe in the Gryffindor common room anymore.

He sighs. "Don't worry. I'll walk you to your bedroom. If you really need me to, I'll even sleep outside the entrance to your bedroom so you feel safer. I don't think Leander will be that bold. But he's got a short temper ... clearly. And I'd rather take the precautions than have another incident." He looks a bit worried.

"Yes please ..." My voice sounds strange. Not at all like myself.

Professor Sharp immediately puts his hand on my shoulder. "Don't worry. We're gonna get you back to your room, you'll feel better once you're back in there. And I'll make sure he does not follow you in."

He is determined to protect me. He is worried that Leander might try something else, but he wants to make sure that Leander wouldn't lay a hand on me.

On the way to the Gryffindor common room, I take a deep breath. "I actually declined to go out with him. I'm sorry. If I had known he was going crazy, I wouldn't have turned him down."

He sighs. "Trust me, don't blame yourself. It's not your fault. He's the one who's gone insane. There was nothing you could've done that would've prevented him from acting like a complete moron."

"What happens to him now?" I ask carefully. Professor Sharp sighs again.

"I would normally just give him a detention. But he's crossed a line here. And you deserve protection from someone like him. He's going to have a lot of consequences for acting like that." He looks upset. "But I'm not gonna let him harass you. Remember: I don't care if I have to sleep outside your door tonight."

He had never acted quite so protective over someone before, even when he and his friends were Aurors.

I smile briefly. "Thank you."

He looks at me, his face soft and kind. He is definitely one of the nicer professors in the school, if a little rough around the edges. "Anytime. You know where to find me if you need anything." He smiles. "Now, let's get you back to your bedroom."

 When we arrive at my dorm, I sit down on my bed. I look at Professor Sharp. "Did Leander hurt you?"

Professor Sharp looks surprised by the question. "Hurt me? No. He wouldn't dare try to hurt me." He chuckles, shaking his head. "No, he didn't hurt me. He's just a little ... unhinged in the head, let's say."

He sits down next to me on my bed. "Why do you ask?" He gives me a strange look.

I explain: "You looked in the classroom like you were about to have a heart attack because you were so upset."

He laughs. "I'm just more shocked by his behaviour. I was not expecting him to act like that. He's never been quite as rude as he was, but I suppose that's his true colours showing?" He looks at me. "Did he actually do anything else to you? I'll be glad to punish him some more if he did. I hate to see a student being attacked for no reason."

"Please don't get upset again." I look at him worried.

He smiles, trying to reassure me. "Don't worry, I'm not too upset. And don't worry, I won't get physical with him or anything. I've got more tact than that." He frowned. "But I'm still gonna have a very serious talk with him after what he did today. And I want you to know that you can always come to me with any concerns. I will always back up my students."

I squeeze his hand. "Thank you."

He smiles again at me. "Anytime. Now, is there anything I can get you to make you feel better? You just had a rather traumatizing experience, so I want to make sure you're feeling alright." He looks at me. "Do you want some tea? I have some relaxing tea. Or maybe you want something else? I've got almost anything you can think of."

"Tea sounds good." I grin.

He grins back. "Sure thing. I'll get that for you. Do you have a preference of flavours? I've got black tea, green tea. I've also got chamomile and some other types." He looks at me politely, just waiting for me to decide.

After I chose green tea, Professor Sharp goes downstairs to the common room to make us some.

Then he comes back upstairs with two mugs full of warm green tea. He offers me one of the mugs. "Here we go. Freshly made." Then he sits back down on my bed and takes a sip from his mug. "So ... how are you feeling? Are you alright?"

I nod. "Better." Then I sigh. "What now? I can't stay here in the dormitory forever."

He smirks slightly. "Of course not. I won't let what he did stop you from living your life." He drinks some more of his tea. "I'm assuming you won't want to be around him at all anymore – and I can't blame you. I'll make sure that you won't have to."

He seems determined to fix this situation. "I'll have him permanent detention and suspended from school until further notice."

"We have many subjects together. After all, we are in the same year in the same house." I frown.

"That doesn't change anything. He will be suspended. You shouldn't be forced to be around him, and I will make that happen. I'll contact his family members as well, and make sure that they're aware of how he's been behaving." He shakes his head. "He's crossed a line. And I will make sure you won't ever have to worry about him again."

We sit together on my bed for a while. Then I repeat: "Thank you." And then I hug Professor Sharp.

He smiles, looking a bit surprised. He hadn't expected a hug. But it was a welcomed surprise.

"You're welcome. Don't worry. I'll take care of you. And I'll make sure he doesn't bother you."

We sit together until the evening, drink tea, talk and play chess – Professor Sharp is indeed a formidable opponent. I lose more than once.

"You're doing good. You're probably one of my tougher opponents, I have to say." Aesop chuckled, sipping his tea and smiling. "I'll admit, it does take me a lot to focus. But you do make me have to work for a victory. But you'll never defeat me." He grins.

"We will see." I grin cheekily.

Aesop chuckles. "I will win. Just you watch." He took a swig of his tea, still looking confident.

"So I take it you enjoy chess? I'm a big chess-player. In fact, back when I was a young student here, I was quite the champion." He smiles. "You know, I won the trophy for chess every year. No one could touch me."

"If this turns out like Potions, I'll be better than you in no time." I laugh.

He joins my laughter. "Not on your life. I was literally a wizard on that board, and I never lost a match." He chuckles again. "I've still got that trophy around here somewhere as well, as a reminder of my greatest victory. It's just a bit nostalgic, really, thinking back to that year." He smiles. "But, you're good for a newer player. You're not too bad. Maybe you'll be a master someday. But I will always be the chess champion."

"Only in your dreams. Someday I will defeat you." I promise him.

Aesop grins. "If that helps you sleep at night, but you're not getting anywhere near my level of chess. I'm un-de-fea-ted." He takes another sip on his tea. "I might let you win the first time, though ... I can see the ambition in your eyes. So, I'll be nice and not crush your dreams." He smiles at me. "I think you could be really good at this. I'd even train you to get to my level."

"Is it an offer?" I raise my eyebrows.

Aesop smiles. He'd actually quite like to teach me. "Of course, I always love helping students reach their potential. And you seem to have more potential than you think. So sure, I'll be willing to train you." He grins again. "But I still can't guarantee that you'll ever be at my level. But I'll at least train you until you get as good as you possibly can. If that's acceptable?"

"Deal." I hold out my hand to him.

He takes my hand and shakes it. "I look forward to teaching you. I've loved teaching this craft to my students, and you're definitely one of my more promising ones. I can't wait to see how well you end up playing."

We look at each other and grin.

"So, are you up for a few more games?" He took another sip of his tea and set the mug back down. "Or are you tired of losing? I'd completely understand." Aesop chuckles, smirking slightly as he looks at me. "You're always free to go if you've had enough. It's up to you."

"I'm ready." I set up the chess pieces. Aesop plays black, I play white.

"And ... go. Your move." My teacher looks over the board, looking for a good move. He is already thinking a few turns ahead.

We play late into the night. Of course, he wins every time. After a while I start yawning and soon fall nearly asleep leaning against the headboard of my bed.

Aesop sighs. "I think that's enough for tonight. You look like you need some sleep.

He stands up, carefully moving me into my bed. "I'll turn off the lights. And if you need anything, you can always come talk to me. Okay?" He smiles. "Goodnight."

The next morning, I wake up early. Aesop is sitting in a chair in the corner of the room, reading.

He notices me waking up, and looks up. He gets up from the chair and walks over to me. "Good morning. You okay? Did you get some good rest?" He sits down on my bed.

"Yeah ..." I look around. "Did Leander show up?"

Aesop shakes his head. "He hasn't come in yet. But if he does, don't worry. I'll make sure he never bothers you or hurts you again." He looked determined now. "If Leander comes in here, it won't go well for him."

I look at him. He has deep bags under his eyes. "Did you sleep?" He sighs. "Not much."

He tries to hide his exhaustion. "I just have a lot on my mind. Don't worry about me. Let's not talk about me though. I don't want you to worry about me. I have to take care of you first. That comes first, before me."

I give him a sharp look. "You need sleep. If you really want to look after me, I'll come with you to your quarters."

Aesop looks at me. "Really? You would do that?" He seems surprised. "I don't want to be a hassle though. And I don't want you to miss your classes or anything. Are you sure you want to do that?" I can see that he feels bad that I would want to stay with him, especially with how tired and exhausted he is.

"School can wait. I'll catch up, Natty will help me." I get up. "You need sleep."

Aesop sighed. "Alright. If you really don't mind then I'll let you stay with me. You're a sweet girl." He smiles, standing up as well, and then he offers me his hand. "I really do appreciate it. Come on, let's get something to eat. I still need to eat myself."

After breakfast in the Great Hall, we walk through the hallways to his quarters. Luckily we don't meet Leander.

Aesop opens the door to his quarters, holding it open for me to enter first.

"Here we are. It's a bit of a mess in here." He apologizes, as the room is very messy and stuff laying around everywhere. "I'm not the best when it comes to cleaning, but I hope it's not too bad. Sorry about the mess."

He closes the door behind me. "You can make yourself comfortable anywhere you like, really."

I roll my eyes on him. "Go to bed now. I'm okay."

"Okay. I'll go get some sleep." He goes to his bedroom, lying down and falling asleep as soon as he hit the bed. It was a long night, and he really could use a good sleep.

I grin. Then I go to his couch and sit down. I pick up an interesting-looking book from a stack of books and start reading to pass the time.

I read for a very long time. The hours pass by. The sun sets and the room is starting to get dark.

Aesop is still asleep, breathing loudly as he sleeps.

I yawn and curl up on his sofa. Then I fall asleep too.

When I wake up in the middle of the night I'm freezing. Half asleep I crawl into Aesop's bed. He sleepily wraps his arm around me, his face twisting into a soft smile. His sleep is quite deep, and he hadn't even noticed that I got into bed with him.

Aesop pulls me close into his arms. It was obvious from his sleep that his arm wanted to be wrapped around me. We lie snuggled together in bed and sleep.

Aesop's breathing is soft and steady. For the first time in a long time, he has no nightmares.

His breathing was soft and gentle, and he started subconsciously to pull me closer. I can even hear him mumble "I'll keep you safe" in his sleep – a peaceful and peaceful and quiet sleep. One that he hasn't had in a long time.

By the time Aesop wakes up, it was already a sunny day. The birds were chirping, the trees were blowing in the wind, and the sky was a bright blue. He stays still, feels my body next to him and feels his hand on my skin.

Then he looks at me. He smiles and put his hand on me gently. "Good morning. Did you sleep well?"

I mumble something in my sleep, open my eyes and stretch. I slept better than I have in a long time.

Aesop laughs. "That's good. Please let me know if I can do anything to help... I'd hate for you to be uncomfortable here. Do you want anything for breakfast? Are you hungry?"

On the way to the Great Hall, we bump into the person I least wanted to see.

Aesop's face changes to one of worry and concern.

"Leander. What do you want." Aesop is quite serious, and he isn't in a very good mood. He was hungry and just wants to get breakfast, but now this.

Leander approaches us. He stops a few meters in front of us. His eyes are on me.

Aesop is annoyed. "What do you want. I don't want to deal with you and your games right now. So just spit it out and leave her alone. And you better leave her alone." Even though he doesn't want to fight, it is clearly on his mind now.

He takes a step towards Leander, his eyes widening slightly. "Or else there will be consequences."

Leander grins provocatively at him. "You know I won't get in trouble ... Sir."

Aesop is obviously beyond annoyed at this point. He moves forward again. "Leave. Now." His tone is cold. He tries his hardest to not lash out. "Don't you dare try to talk to her again, or I will make sure you get punished."

Leander calmly replies: "You won't do anything. The last time it didn't work either."

He just watches him, Aesop's lip curling with anger. He clenches his fists at his side, taking a few deep breaths to calm down.

"Leander. Leave. Now." He is trying not to say something he'd regret. But he is angry, and it was visible.

Leander raises his hand. It looks like he's about to hit Aesop.

I rush between them, trying to stop them before it gets physical. "No, Leander-" Then his punch hits me right in the face. Everything goes black and I faint.

Aesop catches me before I hit the ground. "What the hell!" He yelled, his voice angry. He looks at Leander, a look of fury on his face. "You ... do this again. I swear, Leander. You're not going to like it."

Aesop immediately picks me up, holding me closely while he begins to walk to the infirmary as fast as he could. He would get me there, and he'd get me healed up. But then he is going to deal with Leander. He had gone too far now, and it was time for Aesop to stop him.

When I wake up, I'm lying in a bed. I look around and recognize the infirmary. Nurse Blainey is busy moving from bed to bed.

Aesop sits beside me, his hand on mine gently. He stayed up all night with me, and he looks tired, but he stayed to make sure I would be okay.

"Are you feeling better? Did they give you pain meds?" He looks worried and not being able to sleep all night, staying up with me instead. "How are you feeling? Is anything still hurting?"

I feel like I've been hit by a carriage. "What happened?"

"Leander happened." Aesop's tone is cold, and it is filled with anger in every word. "He hit you. I'm not going to let him hurt you like that ever again. No one should be getting hurt in this school, ever."

He squeezes my hand. "I have already reported to Headmaster Black. Leander is already expelled from school." He sighs. "Finally. I don't have to worry about him hurting anyone else anymore. I'm glad they did something."

He took a breath, and his face relaxed. "Do you want anything? Anything to eat or anything like that?"

I grin. "Fancy a game of chess?" Aesop nods, a smile on his face. "Sure, I could go for some chess I suppose."

He gets up to get the board, and then he set it down in front of me. "How about I give you three extra pawns? Aesop chuckles, and he leaned up against the bed. "How's that sound?"

I shake my head. "I want to win fair."

"Then, no extra pieces." He chuckles again, and then he set up the board. "Alright then, you go first." He waits for my first move.

We play for hours. Time flies by. Eventually, the sun sets behind the mountains around Hogwarts and it becomes dark. Only the moon hangs in the sky.

We move through the game, each of us making our moves, and each trying to outwit and outthink the other.

And then I make my last move. "Checkmate!!!" I grin at Aesop. He stares at me in disbelief. He is shocked, almost looking speechless. His mind is blown. I actually beat him, the great chess champion himself.

"You really did it ... I can't believe it." He shakes his head, shocked. "Well played. You beat me fair and square." He claps his hands together in applause. "I think you deserve something for that."

"How about a kiss?" I grin.

He thinks about it for a second, and then he chuckles. "Alright. But only because you won."

He leans in to me and gently kisses me on the lips. It was a warm kiss, and his eyes were smiling as he did so. "You have me all figured out."

[starkidwriting]

Unique Family

Chapter Two

A/n: Hello, I just wanted to thank you for everyone's patience with this chapter. Life has been a bit of a drag but hell or high water i will keep writing. * sorry for some grammar errors

You were dreaming about days before the incident. You were happy until you kept hearing whispers around you. You started to wake up and rubbed your eyes. "They're waking up Pigsy," one of the voices said. You began to open your eyes to the bright sun and saw two people. Well, one person with glasses and a pig demon, both looking at you in confusion. You instantly shot up and grabbed a stick nearby. How long have they been there? You questioned yourself as you stared daggers at them. "Who are you?" You hissed at them.

They put their hands up to show they mean no harm. " Um, I'm Tang, and this is Pigsy. We were here to look for some answers about this spot." The man named Tang shakenly said. "Really?" You said as you looked into Tang's eyes, looking for deception. You only found fear, confusion, and concerns. You turn to the pig demon named Pigsy and see his eye filled with fury instead. You felt your defensive rise and held the stick tighter.

" Your friend seems like he wants to fight someone." You said to Tang before Pigsy spoke. "So let me get this straight, you are a child abandoned in this large place with no one to take care of you." You were shocked by what he said. He was angry, but not at what you are but how you are a kid and alone. "Yeah, so what?" You questioned because you never met anyone who would worry about you and your state of living. Usually, they wanted your head or your heart in their hand.

"So what?!" Pigsy exclaim as what seems to be turning red. Tang saw his husband getting angrier. He looked at him, dose his best to calm him down. "Pigsy, I know you're angry, but we need to be calm if we want them to trust us." He said as he nudged his head at you. You were confused about why he was mad? It made you climb in the tree and carefully watch them. Pigsy agreed with Tang. He realized he made you more defensive and took deep breaths. "Sorry. It's just that you're a child. You shouldn't be alone. Especially when you are in a place like this." He said with sincerity in his voice. He was worried about you, which was unusual. Maybe it's because it's been a long time since someone seemed to care about you. You shook your head and focused on the duo that came to your home.

" Why are you guys here? " You questioned them. "Well, our friends came to this village and heard a tale. We're wondering what was going on? Cause some parts made little sense." Tang said while making you worry a bit and asking. "How many more are you?" Pigsy notices you were getting a bit tense and replies. "There are three more, but they are not here to hurt you. Two teens with too much energy and another that's a huge softie, but all three love to help people in need." He looked at you with honesty and hoped it made you reassure. It didn't help that there were more people, but you could tell he wasn't lying about the others.

"How do I know I can trust you in what you're looking for?" You said squinting your eyes are them. Tang tries to think of an idea, but Pigsy beats him to it. "I may have something. Tang, wait here," Pigsy said before rushing to the van. You didn't understand what was happening and were very confused. Tang grins a bit as if he may know what's happening. "What happening? Where is he going?" You asked the man with glasses as you see the pig demon reach the van. You also see the three people there, seeming to ask Pigsy what was happening. "Making something for you. That may help you trust us," Tang smiled at you while you were curious about what Pigsy could be doing. It was a silence between the both of you.

"Do you mind if I ask who was she?" Tang said with caution in his voice and broke the silence. He looked at the picture of Mimi. You bite your lip before responding to his questions. "That's my Mimi." You said quietly enough for him to hear you. "How long have you been alone here?" Tang asked out of nowhere. You thought about it for a bit before responding, "two years? I think." You said proudly about having survived this long. Tang was surprised by your answer.

Before he could ask you more questions, you saw Pigsy come over with a bowl of noodles. "Here, Some of the best noodles." He said as he placed the bowl down on the shrine carefully. You took a look at the bowl before climbing down. Both men made space for you to feel comfortable. You took one look at it and saw nothing wrong, even trying to smell something off, but it made your stomach growl. You heard a chuckle from Pigsy before he spoke to you. "Don't worry. We didn't add anything that will hurt you. I promise." You thought about it for a moment. They haven't done anything to make you worry about them or doubt their intention. At least not yet.

You took a pair of chopsticks and ate a small bite. Your mouth filled with amazing flavors. You didn't notice your tail wagged around in delight as you ate. The two men were worried about how quickly you were eating and that you could choke. Which you kind of were as you scarfed down the noodles. You coughed a bit before feeling a pat on your back. When you breathed normal again, you saw Tang patting your back. "Woah there. His food is good but don't die eating it." He said you felt safe with them. You didn't notice as they sat beside you as you finished eating. You dashed off as you finished the noodles. You left the duo baffled and about to chase after you. But you came back before they got up. You held some (F/f) and handed it to them. "Here, now we're even," you said as you sat back down. Tang and Pigsy look at the ripe fruit before taking a bit. The couple was surprised by the sweetness and flavor.

"Well, you guys appear to be kind. My name is (Y/n). So what would you like to know?" You said as you turned to face them. Tang spoke up as he finished the fruit, "can we hear your side of this story the village seems to be talking about?" Pigsy agreed with his partner. Both were curious about you and how you lived like this. You pause for a moment. No one ever wanted to hear your side. They just wanted to harm you. You clear your throat before speaking, "well, you guys will be the first. Most people who come here…" You felt a wave of sadness wash over you as you said the last part. "just want me dead." Tang and Pigsy seem to have noticed it. "If your uncomfortable talking about it, you don't have to," Pigsy spoke as he moved closer and patted your back. You felt a calmness as he did, feeling your guard dropping."No, I'm fine…" You said, unsure about how you felt after everything you have gone through.

"I was found by Mimi when I ran away from another demon wanting to eat me. She was the only person that cared about me and kept me safe." You remember the days of being with Mimi and having fun with her. You bite your bottom lip as you continue, "But then those people believed I was hurting her. Controlling her to be my slave. I wasn't!" You didn't notice your tail hitting the ground hard at first but slowed down as you recall the incident. "Then they came to our home. They wanted me… Mimi did her best to stop them, but… But…" You started to tear up and felt the frustration of everything that happened that day.

You tried your best to wipe the tears away but more kept falling. A hand-rubbed your back to soothe you. You turn to see who it was and Tang. He also had some tears as he hugged you. You turn to see Pigsy sniffling, and trying his best not to cry or get furious. After you took a few deep breaths you continued, "They took her away from me. They ended up hurting her a lot, and she passed away… I got mad and hurt them back." You hugged your knees. You were waiting for them to be afraid of you. Because you are that monster, they say you are. You thought as you waited for something to happen.

But nothing. You only felt two pairs of arms hugging you. You were puzzled about what was happening. "Aren't you guys scared of me?" you asked them. They shook their head in response. "No (Y/n), how can we be scared of a kid who lost their family," Tang said, wiping his tears. "You have done a lot for someone your age. I'm sure Mimi would be proud of you, (Y/n)." Pigsy said, smiling as he cleaned his eyes. You felt your heart break in a way. You hugged Pigsy surprising him, but he hugged back, and Tang joined in. Pigsy felt your tears fall on his chef's jacket. They felt like Mimi as you hugged them. You all silence sat for a while as you sniffled and snuggled your face in Pigsy's arm. You didn't realize the emotional weight you carried. Being alone, dealing with attacks daily, and outcasted as the villain. You fell asleep in the warmness of the two. As you closed your eyes, you heard a familiar voice in your ear.

"You're doing wonderful (Y/n)." You shot your eyes open to find yourself in a familiar setting. The place where you both met, looking up at her as she smiled at you. You bit your lip before leaping into her arms. "MIMI! You're here! Please don't go!" Mimi smiled sadly and brushed your hair before speaking. "I wish that could be possible, but it's not, you know that, kid." She grabbed your cheek and stared into your crying eyes. "(Y/n), I want you to live a better life, even if it's without me and this place." She brushed your tears with her thump.

You didn't want to leave this place, your home. "What, why?" You asked her, a bit surprised. "Because it's time to move on and find another family that cares about you." She said as she showed you embracing Tang and Pigsy. "How do you know that they'll accept me?" You questioned her and why them? "Do you trust me (Y/n)?" Mimi asked you. You nodded in response. "Then know that they will accept you." She kissed your forehead before her body started to disappear into light.

~Back with Pigsy and Tang~

Pigsy felt the kid's small body getting a bit heavier and looked down at (Y/n), seeing that they were asleep. "Hehe, the kid fell asleep. We should take them into their home." Pigsy said as he carried (Y/n) back to the group as the sun started setting. Tang smirked as he watched his husband holding the demon child. "We'll stay here and wait here until (Y/n) is awake. Maybe even ask them to come with us." Tang said as they watched the trio thrilled to see them intact. They see the mysterious figure they were carrying. Pigsy nodded in agreement with what Tang proposed. When Mk, Mei, and Sandy saw (Y/n), they were confused but still found them adorable.

Pigsy carried the kid inside to their bed, the group in awe at his action. He gave them a threatening glare before they left the child alone to rest. Tang and Pigsy told them (Y/n) story. The group stood shocked by how (Y/n) lived alone and the things they went through. "So what now?" Mei asked as she turned to Tang and Pigsy. "We wait until they are awake and ask them if they want to come with us," Tang said. "We can't leave a kid alone with people trying to hurt them," Pigsy added to his husband's sentence. "I hope they want to join us," Mk said, unsure about what could happen if (Y/n) didn't want to leave.

Before they think of a plan of what could happen if (Y/n) decided to stay. But the group turned to the hallway when a small yawn was heard. It was a sleepy and upset (Y/n) holding their tail for comfort. They thought that the duo had left them alone. Tang and Pigsy saw them shaking a bit before one got up. "Tang? Pigsy?" (Y/n) whimper before feeling a pair of arms pick them up and carry them. Tang carried (Y/n) to the others while Mei and Mk died from the cuteness. (Y/n) was too tried to have noticed the three new faces in their home. They wrapped their arms around Tang's neck, snuggling into his scarf, and whispered.

"Please, don't leave me." Tang rubbed circles on their back and sat down next to Pigsy. "We aren't going anywhere without you," Tang quietly said. The group saw (Y/n) smile before napping on his shoulder. The gangs had their mindset. They have to take (Y/n) home or sway them to come. Before they knew it, the moon was up in the sky, and they decided to camp for the night. Mei Mk and Sandy slept in the van while Pigsy and Tang slept inside with (Y/n). They were still clinging on to Tang.

Words:2,298

[ina-nis]

"I want you", and yes, it is in the way how I want anyone, at any time.

No one is special because everyone is special in their own peculiar ways.

This is what drives me to people, to most people, to virtually any person, really.

Wanting them is just one of the first steps. As time passes by and I become more knowledgeable, "wanting" gets lower and lower in the list of priorities - because only wanting, only loving someone is not enough.

"This person might not be a good fit for me actually", but I keep going because there's many factors to take into consideration. Who knows, right?

The missing piece is always, always, they wanting me back. It never really happens, huh? I guess I'm not a good fit for any of them, and that's alright.

It doesn't mean I'll be stuck with someone who doesn't want me. Life goes on and I'll keep on going, too.

Everyone wants to be special, to feel special, to be pampered and loved without putting on the work and reciprocate, huh?

So you will be just another one for me, and I'll go for you, like I go for anyone, and you're going to reject my feelings and I'll say "That's fine, thank you for letting me do this" and I'll move the fuck on, like I always do.

You don't get to be that special to me, when I'm not that special to you. This is not how any of that works for me.

You don't have to return my feelings, you don't have to feel the same either. It really is fine. I just will not wait around and massage your ego for you, I deserve better than this, you know? I take my feelings and my self seriously, and I'm not willing to play these games.

That's another point for loneliness: it is quite clear and easy to comprehend, no such games and absolutely no bullshit. It hurts but me existing on my own, where I can take care of myself and provide the support I need, is more than good enough and worth it.

I'm tired of playing these games.

There's a saying that goes something like "if your presence is not sweeter than my solitude, it's not worth my time" and this is exactly how I feel.

I put myself through constant discomfort when I'm "chasing" after people and I still try to give them the benefit of the doubt even though, very early on, I can tell that's not going to work for me. I already do the best I can by trying to disarm my defenses and lower my walls.

Just to be met, over and over, with people that are a fucking waste of time and energy for me.

I really want to scream.

I know I have to either stop looking and maybe go do something else with my life (which is precisely what I'm working currently in therapy) or I need to bite the bullet and just do everything I can think of, go everywhere I could go and use all kinds of tools I can use so I'll be exposed to as many people as possible.

This is really driving me insane. There's nothing I can do on my own to soothe loneliness - and emotional loneliness at that: the type that regards family and intimate relationships. It doesn't really matter if I have a million friends and a very strong support system, I'll feel deeply lonely, suicidal and like I don't have the support I need, because these deep needs of mine are not being fulfilled.

I asked myself if that is really a need, I still ask this myself very often. I don't need a romantic partner to survive, no one really does.

Then why is this causing me so much fucking distress?

I have done everything: pets, plants, yoga, volunteering, becoming a regular somewhere, learning something new, having different hobbies, being outdoors, good sleep, good diet, and fuck, all the self-improvement and self-esteem stuff I managed to finally achieve too, I could go on and on about all the things I do to improve my life and keep myself happy.

None of those things help me feel less lonely.

None of those things decrease this suffering.

So, maybe, it is a need for me. One that I can live without. Now it's just a matter of being able to learn how to live with the pain it causes me, huh?

[his-saiko]

The Summoning

— You Got Me

"You got my body, flesh and bone. The sky above, the earth below."

You weren't supposed to be anywhere near this man's path. But there was something about you that seems so compelling. Curiosity? Lust? Threat? He just has to know. Whatever it is, there's one thing he is definitely set on. He wants you and he's not so easily distracted from that goal.

— Hawks(?) x f!oc/reader. Strangers? Friends?

C/Tw. themes of harm, intrusive thoughts [All possible triggering content will be enclosed in !'s]

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You haven't really gone out much after that. You stocked up on your food at least, so you haven't had an excuse to go out at all.

You don't need a mirror to see it. How you look now would make anyone worry but you haven't really reconnected to any of your friends then. You're alone.

"What am I doing here?" You lay your head on your desk. Your eyes fall on the feather Hawks gave you. "Hero...?" You wipe your eyes and laugh to yourself. "This is stupid." You trail your finger on the feather. "I guess you're all I got here, Red." "It's not enough." "I guess it's better if people don't see me falling apart like this, but it's so hard. I don't know what to do." You hold on to the feather tight. "Why can't I be like anyone else?"

You jump when you hear a knock on the door. "Miss?"

"Hero?" You peek out and see Hawks in front of the door.

"Hey." Hawks greets you. "Haven't seen you in a while."

"What?" You open the door. "No. I didn't call."

"Ah. Someone else contacted the authorities. A welfare check, I think."

"Has it been that long?" You grip the feather you are hiding behind your back.

Hawks smiles but he seems to be worried about something.

"I'm— You can tell the neighbours that I'm okay. I just haven't found the time to go out lately that's all. I didn't mean to worry people." You lower your gaze.

"You need a reason to go out?"

"Huh?"

"Well, maybe you can shadow the sidekicks for a day while I do some work."

"You mean you want me to help your people chase after you while you go around helping everyone else."

"Hey, come on. I got wings might as well use them, right?"

You almost laugh. "Hawks, I'm just a civilian. I don't think I can be any help to sidekicks."

"C'mon. You seem to have a good quirk."

"My quirk?"

"You use it as a defense and offense, right?"

"I— I don't know. I don't know much about my own quirk. It seemed to have manifested pretty late. So it's not even in the system."

"Do you need help with it?"

"Hmm? Oh... I guess... But I'm not really sure if I'm comfortable showing people my quirk... I've gotten so used to hiding it that I think it's better off if no one knows about it."

"How about this? I'll take you somewhere tomorrow everywhere you want but I'll take you somewhere where they'll take a look at your quirk."

You bite your lip as you think.

"I'll ask for them to take precautions that way you don't have to hurt yourself or anyone. They might even help you with what to do with your quirk."

"I never thought that you're the type to invest in anyone in particular — just for the greater good." You tell him. "Why are you so concerned for me?"

"Well, let's just say it takes one to know one. I was saved by a hero. Though, indirectly but if it weren't for that I wouldn't have a chance to be a hero myself."

"What do you see in me?"

Hawks pauses. "You look like someone I knew back then."

"Right. These heroes are human too." You sigh. "You're sure that there's a way where I wouldn't hurt anyone by exploring my quirk?"

"I know people who can help. I'm sure they will help." He tries to reassure your uneasiness. Exposing your quirk isn't an easy task, especially for your mental health.

"I think I need to think about it." You answer.

"Okay, how about we exchange our numbers in case your change your mind or need anything else?"

You're not really the type to say no to many things as long as you're not being walked on. There really was no harm in getting a hero's number on your contacts. Not that you have many contacts.

"What's your name?"

"Y/n L/n."

"Well, I hope you don't mind me dropping in once in a while."

"If it's anything please, don't do it unannounced. It's hard having unexpected visitors at night while living alone."

"Noted. I'll be sure to tell you beforehand, Miss Y/n." He waves goodbye and flies off.

"Just Y/n is fine." You try to say but your reaction was slower. "No harm being called 'miss' anyway." You close the door and lock it. You let out a breath of relief that a hero was your surprise visitor. "Anyone else and I wouldn't know what to do." "Maybe burn the house down." "Fire isn't always the answer." You tell yourself.

While you have the time to actually think for yourself when you isolate yourself from the world. The thoughts just get worse and worse but even if you are out, if you're too stressed out, the thoughts would still be like this. "Damned if you do, damned if you don't." You sigh. Anything that isn't zero or a hundred felt like a distant memory. Were they even real to begin with? Or were they all a dream?

You lie down on your bed. Your thumb brushes over something and you remember you are still holding Hawks's feather. "Are you my lucky charm now, Red?" You put the feather back on your desk. You bury yourself in your covers and try to get some sleep.

You wake up with a bit of weight lifted of your shoulders. Last night, you were reminded of what people can be. Kind. You've done kind deeds yourself but that's not really the problem is it? "Why can't you be kind to yourself?" So why can't you? Isn't that why you're hear?

You push yourself of the bed and made your way to the bathroom mirror. You look at yourself and repulse. You don't recognise yourself. Has it been that long or is it that intense? You start to fill the tub with hot water and took a hot shower. You stay in the tub for a while thinking about Hawks offer.

"Can I really help people with my quirk?" "Do you really think you can help at all?" "A hero acknowledged it." "A villain acknowledged it." "I just have to try, right?" You look at your hand. Your fingers are all pruned up from all the water. "But first I need to take better care of myself at least." You drain the tub and rinse yourself with cold water.

Your mind wanders to Hawks and Dabi. It's almost as if the coincidence isn't much of a coincidence but life can't be like that, right? If it were, what did you get yourself into now?

You sigh as you open the door to leave. You really don't have a reason to go out but you have nothing else to do in your home. At least, outside, you can just buy yourself some food you've been craving for a while.

You consciously walk slower than you usually do to take your time taking in the outside world. You always see it every day — almost every day — but it feels like there are a few details that changed you just couldn't pinpoint it. Unless you're seeing things wrong which is also a possibility.

"Hey, it's been a while. The usual?"

You blink and find yourself in your favourite food stop. "Yes. Is my usual seat available too?"

"No." The server pouts a bit. "But we do have a table that's similar. I'll tell the others to clear it up for you."

You smile. "People can be kind." "Thank you."

You sit on the table you are pointed to and wait for your order. You mindlessly watch people walking by. Some seemingly having more events happening to them than others who are just living their lives every day.

And there, with no surprise, you see Hawks fly by doing his work. "'Someone I knew back then.' I wonder who it is."

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© Alfi 2023. Do not replicate.

[bettermiya]

Hellooo if it's okay id like to request a haikyuu matchup pls- (don't mind my awkward communication skills btw)

General stuff

Im female (she/her), 17 years old, relatively short (160cm, idk what that is in feet Im European :,)) maybe 5'3??)), my parents are from West Asia (Turkey) but I was born in a german speaking country so somehow i can speak 6 languages now-

Personality

One will realize pretty fast that I am in fact not normal lmao- i'm a bit weird but i'm living for it. I'd describe myself as rather introverted though I'm not shy or timid. I just like to relax and take things slow. I'm pretty easy to talk to if I do say so myself and laid-back as well. I'm also funny apparently (my friend's opinion. Lazy too but we don't talk about that HA-)

Interests/Hobbies

If you couldn't already tell by my ability to speak a lot of languages I am really interested in them. I love to learn new stuff and expand my knowledge in general- I also LOVE listening to music (my earphones are my bebes) and sometimes drawing is pretty tempting as well. Idk why but designing/ decorating is something I tend to enjoy doing even though I don't realize it. Gardening is also a hobby of mine.

Just a few more smaller facts- My love language is quality time and I'm not overly experienced when it comes to relationships. I tend to be drawn to ppl that are open and know what they want. Confidence and loyalty are a big factor.

Thank you in case my request gets accepted <33 bye byeee~

Tsukishima Kei is surprised that he would be fascinated with you!

He's not an easy guy. The type who would retaliate with a sharp tongue before letting anyone in, but you've managed to get past his defenses. It's a combination of not pushing his limits and having the intellect to study languages, which is such a difficult subject. Tsukishima is a person who relentlessly pursues knowledge even if he hides it under such a cool façade. If he discovers that you, as unassuming as you are, can assist him in some way? Even his pride cannot keep him from asking for your assistance while his eyes are downcast, and he tugs at his fingers.

Why not? His demands are straightforward and specific. You start assisting him with his request, but you never expected to catch so much attention for it. You're beginning to see that other girls are drawn to Tsukishima by his good looks without knowing about the twisted personality hidden beneath. His interactions with Hinata and Kageyama, two of his volleyball club teammates, demonstrate his cruelty. A sharp word. A biting laugh. A taunt. Tentatively, you asked him about his personality, and he answers:

( “What gives me the right to be cruel to you? You haven't done anything, and you're helping me.” It could be a trick of the light, but he appears to be blushing into the crook of his arm.  )

His meanness, however, is directed at anyone who might criticize you. Those girls' attentions turn negative. He can easily exploit each of their insecurities. This one is far too ugly, this one is far too stupid, and this one is far too pathetic. It doesn’t matter where in the social hierarchy they are because Tsukishima is an ever-loyal attack dog. He’ll take all the heat if it means they’ll leave you alone.

One day, a girl who used to blush pretty when he was close had splashed water in his face. He didn't even blink. You dragged him to the back of the gymnasium and asked Tsukishima why he was willing to go so far for you.

This is too much.

( “You're a moron. I thought you were smarter than this… Why would someone be so protective? Because they like the other person.” )

[emepe]

— Pairing: Eren x Reader, friends to lovers

— General info: series, 18+, modern AU, serial killer AU, smut, fluff, angst, hurt/comfort

— Summary: Fate is a tricky thing. Certain situations can’t be avoided as much as certain people’s lives can’t be kept from intertwining. With a serial killer on the loose, and unexpected relationships blooming, how will the universe intervene?

— Chapter summary: The news of the recent murder takes a toll on everyone, leaving each to cope in their own anxious ways.

— Content warnings: mention of murder, mention of self defense weapons.

— Notes: Hello, everybody! Welcome to chapter 6 <3 Thank you so much to everybody who has shown support for this story, especially those who have joined the tag list. If anyone else would like to be added, lmk. Happy reading!

Links: Read on AO3 | Chapter guide | Masterlist

conversations on love and fear

The next morning at work, you're surprised to find Armin leaning back in your chair when you arrive at your desk.

“Shouldn't you be crunching numbers somewhere?” you tease, shrugging off your jacket.

“I'm here for our daily gossip session,” he pouts.

You laugh softly and gesture for him to follow you to the break room. He jumps from your chair and eagerly follows your lead.

“Since when do we have those?” you ask, taking out your mug from the cupboards to fix yourself a cup of tea to have while you go through your morning to-do list.

A sly grin is plastered on his face.

“Since you started dating Eren.”

Normally, you're good at hiding your emotions. A neutral expression and an unfazed manner are your go-to for any situation. A blunder at work, a rude client taking out their anger on you, misogyny, unwanted flirting — you handle everything with grace and composure. But normally, you're not as emotionally invested in someone as you've quickly come to be about Eren.

You're quick to hide your face, embarrassed by how easily shy a name can make you when just a few weeks ago you were still your stoic self.

You understand their friendship dynamics well enough to figure Armin wouldn't be kept out of the loop for long, but this is fast.

Armin chuckles airily. It's cute, this new side of you. 

“I didn't mean to keep it from you,” you murmur, your cheeks burning as you bob the tea bag up and down in your mug before sweetening your drink. “It just kind of happened.”

“No, I get it,” he grins. “I'm happy for you two.”

You bite back a smile but nod appreciatively.

“Eren really likes you.” 

“I know,” you murmur, heart fluttering at the memory of Eren's honesty. You bring the mug to your lips, blowing into it before taking your first sip.

“And you seem to really like him, too. I've never seen you like this.”

The tea gets caught in your throat, eliciting a brief fit of coughs. 

Armin can't help but laugh once you're out of immediate danger.

“Oh, you really really like him, then. Way to go, Eren,” he teases.

Your face burns tenfold.

Worried that someone might overhear you, you usher Armin onto the smoker's balcony on your side of the floor. It's too early for anyone to be out there, so it's the perfect spot for you to be honest.

“I… I really do.”

Your entire body is burning up now. Much so that the warmth emanating from your mug overstimulates your senses and you've no choice but to set it down on the concrete railing. 

Gaze low, wandering eyes, fidgeting hands — Armin's surprised.

“You're serious about this,” he concludes.

Peering up at him through your lashes, you nod.

“I don't know what to do,” you murmur. “I didn't expect to like him so much and now every time I think of him I feel like I'm about to pass out.”

Your voice quivers but your eyes shimmer brightly as his face inevitably comes to mind. His warm hands, his gentle voice encouraging you to trust him, his boyish laugh, the blush on his cheeks whenever you praise him. You're always so confident when acknowledging his fondness of you, and you kept joking about having many admirers but now it gnaws at your brain to think about someone else looking to get his attention. It's all too much. 

“Goddamn, that must've been one hell of a first date,” he exhales.

Armin's choice of words pulls an amused giggle from you, easing the tension that squeezes at your heart. 

“It was.”

Your gaze wanders off as you lose yourself in thought.

Eren hasn't left your mind since he dropped you off at your apartment door yesterday evening. The carefully planned date, the honest conversation and the kisses you shared even found a way to sneak into last night's dreams, your subconscious further feeding into your swooning frenzy and leaving you to wake up unusually happy. 

But as life has taught you, having something good doesn't mean you get to keep it forever, and if you want Eren to stick around you have to be more open about the things that haunt you — for both of your sake. You want to keep talking to him, to know him, to see more of his face, and to witness every side there is to him. You haven't outright said it because though you might appear to be, you're not as brave as he is. 

So hearing him say he wants to know you just as much leaves you thinking his wish might be twice as strong as yours, for him to express it so many times in so many ways. 

“You okay?” Armin's voice pulls you back.

Your lips part for you to spill what's heavy on your mind, but you fumble to find the right words without feeling more shy.

“Hey, Eren's my best friend but if you need to talk shit about him, I can listen. You're my friend, too.”

You giggle. He smiles.

“Though, I guess now I've lost you both to each other,” he theatrically sniffles as he pinches the bridge of his nose and shakes his head. “I really didn't think this through when I introduced you to each other. What am I gonna do with no friends?”

You laugh.

“Actually,” you softly call for his attention. “Is it okay if I ask you about some things? About Eren… and about myself?”

His head tilts in confusion at the last part, but he smiles and nods nonetheless. 

“Shoot.”

Nursing your mug between your hands, you carefully take another sip of your tea before speaking.

“First… um.”

You blink nervously as the uneasy warmth starts crawling up your neck again. 

“Do you know if Eren is talking to other people? Aside from me?”

The question feels stupid once it falls from your lips, but Armin gives off no indication that he views it the same way. 

With a firm shake of his head and furrowed brows, he clicks his tongue in disapproval. 

“Eren? No, definitely not. I love the guy but even if he wanted to, he can't flirt with multiple people at a time for the life of him.”

You nod, letting the information sink in.

“Don't get me wrong,” Armin continues. “He has a line of people wanting to get close to him. It's been that way forever.” 

Your heart sinks with dread. You figured as much. After all, Eren is an attractive guy and his personality makes for someone desirable in all aspects.

“But he's never been one to give in to any attention just because it's there, you know?”

You nod slowly, though you don't fully understand what that means.

“What I'm saying is, Eren's the kind of guy who doesn't care about that kind of thing. He only pursues someone he genuinely wants to know. And once that happens, he's all in. Other than that, he just keeps to himself.”

With more clarity on the situation, you nod with more certainty. But Armin's not done.

“He hadn't liked someone in years until you came around. That should tell you something,” he smiles.

You flush in embarrassment. 

“Oh, but don't feel pressured!” Armin exclaims. “I just meant you shouldn't have to worry about this sort of thing.”

He throws an arm around your shoulders, squeezing your frame affectionately. 

“Anything else on your mind?” he asks.

You hum as you go through the ideas in your head.

“It's not really a question,” you say. “And now that I think about it, it probably doesn't make sense to bring it up because I haven't been exactly open about it with you, either.”

You shrink into yourself, wincing at the memory of Armin's fallen demeanor the night he found out about your parents.

“That's fine,” he reassures you with a smile, petting your back in a comforting manner. “I know some things are hard to say sometimes. It's not really my place to call dibs on who you should trust.”

“But still,” you murmur. “We're friends, right?”

He nods.

“I just don't want you to be disappointed by my lack of honesty.”

He frowns.

“I wouldn't call it that,” he sternly replies. “You don't have to tell me more than you already have for me to understand you had a rough upbringing. And you're not being deceitful or purposely hiding things… but it doesn't come easy, that's all. Some things are better kept private, it's your call.”

Tears prick at your eyes as your body releases tension you weren't even aware of. For the longest time, you've tried your best to avoid being a liability. At the same time, once Armin came into your life, you struggled to reciprocate his open nature. Once Eren was in the picture, so desperate to know you, you scrambled to cement boundaries. But truth be told, you were consumed by the anxiety that he might walk away from your stubbornness and you'd lose his affection. Being told you're not an awful person for being closed off brings peace to your weary heart.

“That being said, I promise it wouldn't be the end of the world if you chose to let someone in. Have it be me, Eren, or anyone else. We're all here for you as your friends. I don't think it compares to professional help but for a support system, we're pretty solid. You can trust us.”

Quietly, you nod with a serious expression. 

Armin contemplates your pensive features for a long, quiet minute.

“Is that what you're having trouble with, with Eren?”

Meekly and with your bottom lip between your teeth, you nod.

“I've told him some stuff. Nothing too serious, just pretty surface-level things but… he keeps saying he wants to know everything about me.”

Armin smiles crookedly. 

“Is that a bad thing?”

The question echoes in your ears as you force yourself to contemplate it.

It's not a bad thing for someone to be so willing to figure you out because they care. But the never-ending worries always slip through the cracks. Will he be okay dealing with the weight of your past? Will it somehow change his mind and push him away? Will he somehow empathize with everyone else's point of view and ultimately decide you're difficult to love? Not worthy? That you're too much trouble?

“I want to be good for him.”

Armin’s gaze softens. It’s inappropriate given the tone of the conversation, but he can’t ignore how much more adorable your demeanor has gotten in such little time. Eren must have saved a country in his past life to have you so smitten.

He pats your head affectionately, like that of a father comforting his kid.

“What makes you think you’re not?”

Your bottom lip quivers as you open your mouth to emit a string of fearful but honest whispers.

“Eren’s so nice… I just worry I have too much baggage and he’ll feel obligated to stick around. I don't want to be a burden.”

The mug of tea has grown cold in your hands and the autumn wind sweeps away your confession, carrying it to unknown destinations while its ghost lingers between you and Armin.

It’s a long, painful silence before Armin’s voice slices through it with the wisdom you’ve come to admire.

“Listen. I think you're a pretty remarkable person. And nobody gets to pick the cards they're dealt. I don't think you have to conceal parts of yourself and if someone makes you feel like you do, then you leave. There’s no perfect right person but a right person for you will stick around because they want to… baggage included.”

Eren’s computer screen is littered with multiple tabs and video-editing software. The fan practically sounds like it’s about to lift the CPU into a different dimension. It doesn’t help that his mind keeps straying from the workload before him by conjuring the headlines he saw earlier this morning. 

Normally, he’s so efficient. He loves his job so much, it’s basically a fun time. But not when someone he cares about is in potential danger. Now, it’s just work. 

“Just two months ago, our city was struck by the brutal murder of twenty-six year old Ilse Langnar. And now another woman was murdered? What is going on?” a comment on a public forum read. 

His knee bounces incessantly as his eyes aimlessly wander his screen through his glasses, and he’s continuously forcing himself to go through the same clips over and over again because he keeps forgetting what’s been done and what needs to be. 

For the umpteenth time, he huffs in frustration, running an anxious hand through his hair.

He simply cannot focus today.

As if someone out there can sense his lack of discipline today, they come in with an easy distraction. Eren’s phone buzzes on his desk, promptly pulling his attention from the loopy chaos in his head. 

“Is mace the same thing as pepper spray?” a masculine voice comes from the other end.

Eren pulls the phone from his ear just long enough to get a look at the name on the screen.

“Jean?”

Normally, Jean would quip a comment about how offended he is that Eren can’t even recognize his voice through the phone. But not today. His words are rushed and there’s plenty of movement from his side.

“I’m at a store buying some stuff for Mikasa but I can’t figure out which one is better. I think Mace is the brand? Because it says pepper spray in the description but there’s also one that says water trainer… what the fuck is that?” 

Eren’s already pulling on a jacket before Jean can even finish venting his frustrations on other confusing terms. 

“Which store?”

“Huh?”

“Which store, Jean?”

“Ammo. It’s on Reiss. Why?”

With his phone snuggled between his ear and shoulder, Eren clumsily pulls on his shoes and snatches his keys from the small dish in the foyer. 

“Send me the location. I’ll be right there.”

He hangs up the call, trusting Jean to fulfill his request as he walks out of his apartment and to the parking garage.

Eren walks into the shady-looking shop. There’s an arrangement of weapons everywhere his eyes fall, the most dangerous ones displayed behind hefty locked glass doors on the other side of the counter. 

Upon entry, Eren’s hit with several once-overs from the clientele scattered through the aisles closest to the door. He nods politely at the buff man in his immediate view, hoping he doesn’t seem too lost. 

His eyes search for a familiar tuft of ash-brown hair over the aisles. As soon as he finds him, he makes a beeline.

“Jesus Christ, Jean. Why’d you pick this place?” he hisses. “You couldn’t have gone to a sports goods store or something? The grocery store, even. They have stuff there, too.”

Jean dismisses him with a wave of his hand and instead shows him the collection of items in his basket.

“Look, I got some pepper spray for the girls.” He holds up a package with two different colored products bound in plastic and cardboard. “Turns out the water trainer is just a cartridge with water so you learn how to use it without wasting any product.”

Eren peers into Jean’s basket, making note of every product he’s picked up. Pepper spray, tasers, and personal safety alarms — all in sets of three.

“What?” Jean asks, looking back into the basket on his arm upon noticing Eren’s wandering eyes.

“There’s three of each,” Eren simply says.

“Well, duh,” Jean scoffs. 

One by one, he raises three fingers, listing off a name for each — Mikasa’s, Sasha’s, and yours.

“She’s gonna need this stuff, too,” he adds.

Eren’s lips curl inwards, but he follows up with an appreciative smile.

“Thanks, buddy.”

Jean mirrors his expression, tying it off with a brotherly pat on Eren’s back.

“You can pay me back in installments, I don’t mind.”

Jean walks off toward the cash register, leaving Eren to contemplate the nearly endearing exchange with pursed lips.

The men go through the line and exit the store together. 

“So you saw the news, too, huh?” Jean asks as he absentmindedly swings his keys around his index finger on the way to the consecutive spaces where both men’s cars are parked.

“This morning,” Eren murmurs. “I haven’t been able to focus on work.”

“Me neither,” Jean mutters. “I drove over to Mikasa’s at two in the morning to make sure she was okay because I kept freaking out every two minutes.”

“How is she?”

“She was a little annoyed I woke her up but she let me stay the night.”

Eren chews on the inside of his cheek as he contemplates whether or not it’d be weird for him to show up unannounced at your apartment like Jean did with Mikasa. If he had known about the recent murder the night before, he would’ve definitely raced back to your place. But he supposes you’re not at that place in your relationship yet.

They reach their cars but neither makes a move to part ways. They both lean against the trunk of Eren’s car.

“Has Levi said anything, though?” Eren asks. 

“Nah, just keeps telling her to stay safe,” Jean replies with a shake of his head. “It’s a little weird, though. You think it’s the same person from September?”

Eren shrugs but Jean sees right through his dismissive behavior.

“I do, too, to be honest. It’s pretty scary shit,” Jean’s voice shrinks with every word. 

“Yeah, it is,” Eren admits. “And if Levi is being so cryptic it’s probably because he has to.”

Both men stand together in silence for a moment, unsure of how to part ways on such a somber note but finding too much comfort in each other’s company to bid goodbye. 

Eren sighs heavily as he mindlessly traces the line of a crack in the asphalt with the tip of his foot.

“Hey, congratulations, by the way,” Jean says.

Eren looks up at him, eyebrows knit in confusion. It’s not until Jean pronounces your name that he understands what he’s referring to.

“You guys are going out now, right?” Jean grins.

Eren blushes, a smile instantly working its way onto his face upon hearing the words from someone else’s mouth. It’s a good feeling, to be reminded of this new beginning in his life.

“Thanks,” he laughs. Then pauses. “Wait, how did you know that?”

Jean nervously scoffs as he avoids Eren’s piercing emerald gaze.

“Um… you told me? How else?”

Eren’s eyes narrow; Jean gives in easily — partially.

“Fine, Armin’s been yapping away about it but he made me promise I wouldn’t say he told me. He’s a huge blabbermouth, you know?”

He discreetly breathes a sigh of relief when Eren doesn’t press further, seemingly accepting his word as the truth. After all, Armin was supposed to be the only one to know the details so far.

“Figures,” Eren mutters with a shake of his head, but a pleased smile threatens to tug on his lips at the thought of everyone else finding out. 

“You think she's the one?” Jean abruptly asks, already preparing to tease him.

When Eren turns to look at him, he's got a shy smile playing on his features. 

“Come on,” he says.

Jean throws his hands up in the air.

“Come on, what? It's a valid question. We're on our way to thirty.”

“We've only been on one date,” Eren replies, as if that's an answer in itself.

“So? You were into her from the start, weren't you?”

Eren blushes, still embarrassed that everyone was aware of his crush.

“Yeah,” he meekly replies.

Jean looks off into the distance, smiling over Eren's bashful demeanor. Though not blatantly obvious about it, he cares for Eren like a brother. It's just a lot more fun to bicker and annoy each other. That's not to say he lacks appreciation for heart to heart conversations like this. 

“I knew Mikasa was the one pretty fast,” he confesses.

A chuckle escapes Eren's lips. 

“Well, yeah, but you guys were years in the making.”

“Even so,” Jean murmurs. “I knew she was the one since we were kids.”

“Jean, she used to bully you in fifth grade,” Eren reminds him. “She beat you up because you wouldn't stop following her around like a lost puppy.”

Jean bites back a grin, cheeks dusted with pink at the memory.

“What can I say? I have a thing for pretty girls with a killer punch.”

The two men share a laugh.

It's moments like this, that break the chaotic pattern in their dynamic, that reminds them their relationship goes beyond eye rolls and snappy comments.

“You know I'm proposing soon?”

Eren turns to look at Jean, eyebrows raised in surprise.

“Seriously?” 

Jean glances at him proudly.

“Mhm… This December. I've got the whole thing planned. We're spending the holidays at her family's cabin. I'll do it then. I already talked about it with her parents.”

An immense sense of pride swells in Eren's chest at the news. He always figured his friends were on their way to forever, but the admission to something concrete makes him incredibly happy. 

“What if she says no?” he teases, dipping into his usual ways out of habit. 

“She won't,” Jean firmly states without missing a beat. “I love her and she loves me. It's like you said, we're years in the making.”

He throws his head back to look at the cloudy pale blue sky. 

“I'm gonna give her her dream wedding. It'll be the event of the century,” he gushes, then side-eyes Eren with a smirk. “I'm sure someone will invite you as their plus one.”

Eren rolls his eyes.

“Haha.”

“I'm kidding,” Jean laughs. “But with all this… what I mean to say is, when you know, you know.”

Eren thinks for a moment. 

Has he ever known?

He certainly feels something — a very special way about you. There's not many experiences to compare it to but it certainly feels different somehow when he recalls his last and only girlfriend so far. His caring persona has always been present. The blushing cheeks, the shy confessions. But was instant nature enough to call your situation different? He's never been so eager, never felt so hurt at the thought of someone in pain, never felt so inclined to embrace someone with everything he has, never felt so fascinated by someone.

But that's normal in the honeymoon stage, is it not?

Jean slices through his thoughts.

“And you don't have to think so much about it because it really just hits you out of nowhere. One day you meet a girl and you just can't bring yourself to stop looking at her because she's the prettiest human you've ever seen. You'll come up with excuses to spend as much time as you can with her. You'll want to know everything about her, see every side to her there is — the good, the bad, the ugly… you won't want to miss a single thing. You'll feel yourself falling so deeply in love it drives you crazy. She'll be everything. Your world will start and end with her. It sounds insane but trust me, it's the best feeling ever.”

Eren peers at Jean's expression. He's got a ditzy air about him, a lazy smile stretched across his face. He meets his gaze, suddenly serious.

“I know Armin's your number one for everything but… if one day you decide this girl is the one… call me up first, for once.”

Eren's features soften. 

“I'll fucking blow up a thousand balloons to celebrate.”

He laughs at the offer, recalling an image of himself rushing to blow up the balloon letters for the night Jean made things official with Mikasa.

“I will.”

An accomplice's smile is exchanged between them. Jean is the first to stand.

“Kay… well, I should really get back to work,” he says, fishing his phone out of his jacket to look at the time. “My boss is gonna kill me if I go over on my lunch— dammit!” 

Eren watches amusedly as Jean rushes to the driver's seat and starts his car, throwing a hasty goodbye over his shoulder.

Before he can peel the car from its spot, Eren walks over and taps on the window, calling Jean's name.

“What?” Jean huffs, annoyed at the delay. But Eren only smiles.

“Just wanted to say thanks.”

Jean's features twitch in surprise, but he's quick to replace it with an amused eye roll. 

“Anytime, Jaeger.”

Armin's back at your desk at the end of the day, hands in his jacket pockets and waiting in silence.

“Give me a minute,” you say, briefly glancing at him in between placing an order for office supplies before you leave. 

He nods, wandering off to a cluster of cubicles and slumping into the chair of an empty desk, spinning around a few times while you finish up.

Several clicks later, you head to the building's lobby together. As the elevator goes down, Armin turns to you with concern.

“Hey, you want me to ride the bus with you?”

You tilt your head in confusion.

“Just to make sure you make it home safely,” he explains. 

You wave your hands in front of you, dismissing the idea. 

All day, the office has been rattled by the news of the Halloween party murder. It started with a simple ‘Did you see the news last night?’ and went on to become a trending topic amongst your coworkers.

It was a bit off-putting that everyone seemed so eager to talk about it, like they'd been waiting for someone to bring it up first so they could go through the details of the story over and over in one morbid loop, until they could feel themselves growing numb at the tragedy.

It's true you're still a bit rattled from last night's news, which is likely to be the same reason Armin's offering to do much more than walk with you to the bus stop, but you don't want to give him any trouble.

“I'm good,” you say. “Besides, by the time you get back it'll be dark out.”

Armin parts his lips to ask if you're sure, but his question is cut off by the sound of your phone buzzing in your pocket. 

He catches a glimpse of Eren's name flashing on the screen.

“Hello?”

Armin watches you exchange a brief series of quiet words into the call. When you hang up and he asks you what happened, you seem mildly flustered.

“Eren's waiting for me in the parking lot,” you murmur.

The two of you make your way out the building, searching for Eren's navy blue sedan. It's a quick task, given that Eren's standing right in front of it, looking out for you as well. He waves you over once your eyes meet.

Armin and him share a brotherly handshake before he steps closer to you and murmurs a gentle hey.

“What are you doing here?” you ask, taken aback by his sudden appearance. 

“I thought you could use a ride home,” he explains nonchalantly. 

You hesitate, a hint of guilt gnawing at you from the inside. You're grateful for the offer, but it bears a weight on your shoulders that he went out of his way to pick you up. It's the same as if Armin had kept you company on the bus. He doesn't have to do that, it's out of his way and it would only get him back home later than he needs to be, while you're the only one who ends up benefitting. 

Eren senses your hesitation and glances at Armin for clues.

He's quick to recall the conversation you had this morning, where you let it slip through the cracks that you don't want to be a burden to anybody.

“Come on,” Armin smiles at you. “He's dropping me off, too. Right, buddy?” 

Eren's quick to follow his lead, nodding with vehemence. 

“Yeah, of course.”

Your gaze flickers between both men, who just smile at you — one with concern, the other with encouragement.

Finally, you nod and slip into the copilot seat as Eren holds the door open for you.

The ride is quiet on your end, save for when Eren asks about your day and you briefly tell him it was fine and ordinary, leaving Armin to do most of the talking.

Armin's the first to be dropped off, as he lives a mere five blocks from the office. But the journey to your apartment building is much longer than a couple of minutes, and it's consumed by silence most of the way there.

Eren allows you to keep to yourself during the ride, though he can't ignore the concern that weighs his stomach down at the idea that showing up so suddenly might’ve caused you discomfort.

But if it means you'll for sure make it home in one piece while there's a criminal running wild on the streets attacking women of your likeness, he'll bear the uneasy consequences. 

“Here,” he says, holding out a plastic bag for you to take once you're both at your apartment door.

“What's this?” 

You peer into the bag, eyes widening slightly at the self defense weapons inside. When you look back up at him, he's got a stern air about him.

“It's dangerous right now. I want you to be safe.”

“You didn't have to spend your money on this,” you murmur, brows furrowed. “I'll pay you back for everything.”

Eren shakes his head, holding your wrist down to keep you from pulling out your phone.

“Just take it,” he sighs. “Please.”

Eren's pleading gaze scans your features, heart shrinking at the detection of a hint of discomfort on your behalf. You blink several times, a sign that you're nervous about something. But you murmur a strained thanks in the end as you hook the bag on your wrist.

He exhales a sigh of relief. 

“I better get going,” he says, brushing a hand through his hair before leaning closer to kiss you goodbye, but you turn your face at the last second, letting his lips press into your cheek instead.

Eren steps back, embarrassed by the exchange but choosing not to say anything. Just worriedly searching your face, hoping you'll meet his gaze with the same tenderness you granted him just yesterday.

But you don't. You keep your gaze low, so he can't even try to get a read on you, and murmur a solemn goodbye before shutting the door behind you.

Eren's parked in front of your building when you walk out the main entrance the next morning.

He calls your name gently, careful not to startle you when you nearly miss his presence.

You slide into your designated seat without a hint of protest this time, but you keep to yourself, much like the night before. 

Eren keeps glancing in your direction at every red light, racking his brain for a way to get you to talk to him. It's just the two of you in the car, after all.

His mouth opens a few times, only to be promptly shut when he fails to find any words.

Surprisingly, you're the first to speak.

“You really don't have to do this.”

Normally, when people make such a polite rejection it's because they secretly want the other person to stop — because their actions make them uncomfortable or because it's annoying — or simply to seem polite because, truth be told, they enjoy being tended to. 

But you actually like that he wants to take care of you this way. You like it so much it scares you that you'll start relying on his kind nature too much. The guilt that stems from his willingness to do things for you is suffocating. No matter how pleasant it is for you, you're far more worried about robbing Eren of his time and energy. Even if it's his idea, you don't want him to think you're spoiled.

“I'm doing it because I want to,” he murmurs, stepping on the gas pedal as soon as the light turns green. “There's someone out there attacking women… You're safer this way. You don't have to take the bus anymore.” He smiles. “Think of it as one of the many perks you get out of dating Eren Jaeger.”

The reminder of a criminal freely roaming the streets you've walked on sends a shiver down your spine.

Eren spares quick glances at your troubled expression. 

Why do you seem so conflicted over him trying to keep you safe?

“I'm allowed to worry about you, you know,” he gently expresses, his voice as warm and comforting as ever.

It only makes the knot in your stomach tighten.

“And I'm saying you don't have to.”

You didn't mean to sound harsh, but Eren's upturned eyebrows tell you otherwise.

“Why are you so upset over this?”

He doesn't mean to raise his voice the slightest bit out of frustration, but it makes you shrink in your seat anyway.

Eren's features shift from upset to defeat. Neither of you exchange a word until he pulls up in front of your office building.

“I'm doing this because I care,” he murmurs, voice falling back to the gentle tone he reserves for you.

“I can take care of myself.”

You intended to sound confident — defiant, even. Like some rebellious teenager who refuses to be taken as a child.

“I know,” he says. “But that doesn't mean I can't.”

Your bottom lip is caught between your teeth, which chew nervously on the skin while you find a way to retaliate.

“I don't want to burden you.”

Eren's heart sinks, gaze softening as he reaches over the center console to lift your chin between two fingers.

“You could never.”

You shake your head.

“Saying that doesn't mean anything to me.”

“I'll show you I mean it, then.”

There's so much warmth in his cool-toned gaze. He looks pained almost, silently pleading through his eyes to allow him to do something as simple as drive you to work. To him, it's far from a bother. In fact, it brings him peace. Not to mention he enjoys the extra minutes he gets to spend with you.

An annoyed honk from the car pulling up behind you startles you from Eren's warm stare, forcing you to pull away from his touch to gather your things.

Eren's hand latches onto your wrist before you can open the door to get out. 

“Wait.”

You look back, ready to remind him someone is waiting behind you. But his upturned eyebrows and the concerned glassiness in his eyes stop you from uttering a word.

“Are we good?” he murmurs, voice laced with helplessness. 

It's the look of a kicked puppy that has your stomach churning with guilt.

You nod, quickly leaning over to press a kiss onto his cheek, but without the bright expression that would calm his nerves.

“I'll be back at six,” he calls behind you before driving away, still confused and anxious. 

The hours of your day go by slowly, consumed by the exchange in Eren's car. 

All too overwhelmed by the idea of potentially becoming a nuisance to him, it never occurred to you that you could cause him equal distress by refusing any act of service he offers. Being good for him also means granting his wish to take care of you.

You're such a jerk, you think to yourself. What happened to craving his care?

There's a fine line between relatively good traits morphing into negative ones. Devotion can transform into obsession, loyalty can turn into blind foolishness, confidence can evolve into arrogance, and so on.

There also comes a point when one's insecurities evolve into genuine fatal flaws if you don't do anything to handle them with care. So much concern over being a liability might just end up costing you your relationship with Eren before it even reaches the good part. If you keep pushing him away and make him feel as though there's no room in your life for his kind-natured feelings, you may as well continue living in solitude. 

The ride back to your apartment at the end of the day is as silent as the last time.

There's no flirty banter, no teasing, no laced hands as you find the way to your apartment, no shy smiles.

Eren waits for the lock on your door to click open, as per usual, before stepping back and forcing a smile.

He murmurs a goodbye and you helplessly stare at his back as he takes the first couple of steps down the hall.

But just as he's about to take a third, he turns on his heel and makes his way back to you. 

“I know you're mad,” his voice is weak, and a nervous stutter slips through but there's a determination lacing every word. “I get that it might be weird for me to show up out of the blue at your job and insist on driving you wherever you need to go, but I already told you that you can't stop me from worrying about you, I want to make sure you're safe an–”

You desperately wish to hear everything he has to say, but the need to kiss the sadness from his face outweighs it.

Your lips slot carefully between his, your guilt relieved by his sudden call-out. You hate being scolded. It makes you feel small and worthless, drained of any confidence that would allow you to defend yourself. But he's done it so kindly and while wearing such a vulnerable expression, it makes your heart soften.

He melts into the kiss, his hands instantly finding a home around your waist, pulling you closer while he tries not to spill any tears that were already threatening to stream down his face while laying down his convictions. 

His eyebrows furrow in concentration as you cradle his face in your hands, tenderly kissing him, absorbing his relieved sighs.

After two days of scarce physical contact, thinking you've been too upset to kiss him as you usually do, this is absolute heaven.

“I'm not mad,” you murmur, as you pull away, brow furrowed and eyes lined with tears.

“Well, I know that now,” he sniffles as he caresses your cheek. “Talk to me.”

You clear your throat, unsure if the middle of a hallway is an acceptable place to have a heart to heart conversation, but unwilling to put a stop to the feather-like strokes his thumb traces on the apple of your cheek as he waits for you to speak your mind. 

“Everything between us is so new,” you begin. “You have to give me some time to get used to this.”

He blinks several times as he tries to understand what you just said.

“Dating?” he asks.

“Everything.” 

You blink up at him, tear droplets clinging to your lashes.

“When I say you don't have to do certain things it's because I don't want to make your life harder. I don't want to be a nuisance.”

“You're not, baby, I swear.”

The affectionate term slips from Eren's tongue without premeditation. 

“Not yet,” your voice cracks. “I don't want you to get sick of me, I already like you too much.”

The tears spill down your cheeks as suddenly as your trembling confession rolls off your tongue.

Your words form a lump in Eren's throat. Though your admission is sweet in nature, no force could keep his heart from crumbling at the sight of your weary eyes, glossy with tears that continuously stream down your cheeks. Nothing has ever hurt so much.

His strong arms envelop you in a warm embrace so tight you're positive he's trying to glue you back together by force. Your childlike sobs are muffled against his chest — hiccups, shuddered breaths, and all.

“I'm selfish and I like it too much when you take care of me but if I start relying too much on your kindness, I'll start burdening you and you'll leave,” you cry into his shirt. You're almost certain you've messed up his clothes with your tears and streaks of your makeup, but Eren couldn't care less.

“That's not going to happen, I'll make sure to prove it to you,” he vows while pressing velvet kisses onto your hair. “I'll be happy if I'm the first person you run to for anything you need.”

Loosening his hold on your frame, he leans back to look at your face. It's full of streaks of dried tears traced with makeup, your eyes puffy from your brief but intense crying, and a ghost of a pout on your lips. 

A hushed chuckle bubbles up his throat. His eyes crinkle in further amusement when you accentuate your pout at him for laughing.

“You silly girl,” he murmurs, pressing you back into his chest. “Don't you realize how much I like you?”

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taglist: @erenjaegerwifee @youatemylollipop @okaystopwhore @bakuhoethotski

[marythegizka]

7 snippets, 7 people

Tagged by @mxanigel, thank you!! 😊

I'll tag (as always, only if you want to take part): @illusivesoul, @deedeemactir, @dairine-bonnet, @ambiguousrubbish, @lady-carys, @hinterlost, @bearika

I'm only actively writing my Tavalyn/Astarion one-shot series at the moment, so I'll mix it up with some already posted stuff so that I can also include some Dragon Age, Mass Effect and KotOR

-----

From "Rainbow" / BG3 one-shot (not posted)

A rainbow. That was Sebastian's favourite sight. At least, that's what he told Astarion as the last drink finished lowering his defenses, laughing shyly at his own mushiness. Surely, he was being childish, getting emotional about such things in the company a near-stranger, to which Astarion, careful not to break eye-contact, answered there was nothing childish about admiring beautiful things in whichever form they came, and that, if he was a stranger now, he hopefully wouldn't remain one. "Do you... like rainbows?" the young man stammered, and Astarion very nearly laughed at how ridiculous the whole thing was - mawkish, clumsy, and possibly the worst attempt at flirtation he'd witnessed in over a decade, but, as he begrudgingly admitted to himself, endearing. Endearing people were the worst. The ones he tried to forget, but who lingered anyway. Days. Weeks. Centuries. Punishment for the crime of being 'picky'.

But all of that is over now, and Astarion pushes the thought aside - tries to, at least, when his eyes land on Tavalyn and the little smile tugging at her lips as she takes in the sight, translucent ribbons of light dipping into the harbour below. Hells.

-----

From "baby_alistair_draft_fic"/Dragon Age one-shot (One day I'll come up with a proper title and post it to AO3. One day.)

Loghain lifted the child to eye-level, as if to study him, and Alistair reached for a stray lock dangling past his ear. 

"No. Pulling is bad." 

 He lowered him to his chest, and the child scrunched up his nose in disappointment. Loghain began rocking slightly. 

"Why me?" 

Of course. Of course he had to ask that. 

"Because I'm asking you." Because you're all the family I have left, he almost said, then caught himself. "Because I'd rather Duncan not go alone. And guards talk. You? Not so much. You stonewall people for days, in fact. It's quite a skill. An endlessly frustrating skill." 

"You had it coming, Maric." The child began babbling again, and Loghain nodded at him. "Yes, he really did." 

Maric snorted. 

"Maybe." 

"And Aemon is kind, but he's still the wrong choice." 

"Are you volunteering?" 

He could see the muscles working in his friend's jaw in an unacknowledged struggle to bite back the harsh words he suspected were hovering there. Or he might have been considering the answer? It was always hard to tell. 

"No," he finally said. "I would be an idiot to."

-----

From "The Book" / BG3 one-shot (not posted)

"Excuse me?! The plan still needs working but the idea is excellent, thank you."

"I didn't say 'bad'. I said 'wrong'."

"Oh, darling, please. We're not even killing anyone."

"No, what I mean is, what if the book actually works?"

"The book? As in 'the one that kept asking me to murder you'? That's your idea of an upside? Because - in case you have forgotten why we're here in the first place - it very much isn't."

"Yes, but do you still have it?"

"Why, naturally! Though I don't suppose the spirits have learnt any manners in their time out."

"Good."

Astarion stops dead in his tracks.

"Good?"

"Yes, good. Because if it does work, you'll be able to sneak into any house you like. We just need a competent necromancer, and I think I know where to look."

Astarion lifts an index.

"Ah - I appreciate the enthusiasm, but Gale is not a competent necromancer, love. And if he is, he'd better have a good reason for hiding it this whole time."

"Oh, I wasn't going to say 'Gale' but that's a brilliant idea! We'll have to pick him up."

"Tavalyn, no..."

"Yes! He's in Neverwinter now as a... visiting scholar, I think? Whatever it's called. But I'm sure he'll be grateful for the chance to get out of the library!"

Astarion arches an eyebrow.

"Are we still talking about Gale?"

"Oh, come on. How many books do you lug around?"

"My books are useful. Or entertaining, at the very least."

-----

From "Sins of the Father" / DA:O x ME2 crossover

“My quarters,” she gestures for him to get inside. “‘Tis nothing… untoward, I promise you. I do not have the luxury of a so-called ‘immune system’, as you do. A minor side-effect of our respective failures.”

He clears his throat. ‘Our’. As if she hadn’t pointedly ignored all warnings to step out of the beast’s range just so she wouldn’t interrupt her casting. His mistakes are many, but her death isn’t one of them.

“I assure you the thought couldn’t be further from my mind.”

“Of course. You came here for answers, did you not?”

“I came here seeking justice for a member of my crew, but I will not deny that I am seeking answers, yes.”

“Hmm. A most elusive notion. ‘Justice’. Was it justice to her, I wonder?”

“Do not lecture me. Your ‘admiralty board’ was ready to cast her aside like a used rag, when all she has ever done is serve the fleet at the very peril of her life! Tali is the best engineer I have ever met and if you cannot see…”

“You’ve no idea what you’re talking about, do you?”

“No,” he admits. “But the fact remains. The burden of her father’s sins should not be hers to bear. In time, she will understand.”

-----

From "Long Live the King" / Dragon Age short fic

She laid a hand onto his shoulder.

“You need rest, dear.”

“Now look who’s talking.”

“Look. You said you made a promise to him.”    

“I did.”

“And you kept it.”

“By breaking another one.”

Yes, well. She was only trying to help. She fumbled in her pack and held up a large wineskin. Loghain arched an eyebrow.

“That is a terrible idea.”

She felt the corner of her mouth lift up.

“And when has that stopped you before?”

“Touché.”

He drank.

“Even so… what is done is done. And here I am wallowing like a… I don’t know what exactly.” He paused. “I should be delighted that he’s alive, I am delighted that he’s alive but…” he shook his head slowly. “Maker, Erin... He practically asked me to raise the boy. More than once, in fact. When Rowan died, Maric was a mess. He could hardly get out of bed. And Cailan… well. It’s ironic, now, come to think of it.” He took another sip and handed her the wineskin. “I taught him how to ride, how to shoot a bow. Had to stop him from standing on the horse while shooting the bow. Easier said than done. And then I let him die. Knowingly. Willingly. All because of a bad contingency plan and my belief that he was a fool. And I’d grown used to that. To the knowledge that I failed. But having to tell Maric… it’s not something I planned for.”

-----

From "Rescue"/Knights of the Old Republic one-shot:

“Revan. Revan, get up!”

It’s just a dream. Only a dream. What does it matter if she gets up or not?

“You’re not really here, are you?” she mutters.

“Whether I’m here or not is irrelevant. You have to escape.”

“Ha! You think I haven’t thought of that?”

And that’s when she notices: there is noise behind the door. Not the usual clanking of the droids that feed and watch her, but fighting. Blasters. And a lightsaber. He’s right. She’s got to escape. She waits for the door to open. It doesn’t. Perhaps he’s wrong, after all. Perhaps it’s just another dream. After some time, a blonde woman opens the door. A lightsaber is hanging from her belt.

“Who are you?”

The woman pulls a face.

“That bad, uh? I’m Meetra. Meetra Surik. I’m here to rescue you.”

“Rescue?”

The word feels foreign in her mouth. She never thought the Republic would send someone after her.

The woman extends a hand. She grabs it.

“Come on. We’ve got an emperor to kill."

-----

From "A Whole New World" / BG3 x Dragon Age Crossover (not posted, might never be)

"Gale Dekarios." The wizard interrupts him with a pointed look, extending the woman a hand. "I assure you it doesn't happen quite as often as my friend here likes to point out." 

Tavalyn clears her throat. 

"I don't think now is the best time to argue about -" 

"Darkspawn! Straight ahead!"  

Loghain charges headlong, bashing his shield onto the nearest beast's head before running another through. Ah. So that’s a ‘darkspawn’. Fascinating. Disgusting. All of the above. 

The woman unslings her staff, quickly followed by Gale and Tavalyn. Astarion dashes across the tunnel, ducking beneath an axe before slashing at the big one's hamstrings. The monster’s knees buckle. Next, go for the throat. Black ichor spouts from the wound and straight onto his chest. Oh well. He didn't like that doublet, anyway. 

"Careful with their blood!" Erin warns, unleashing a fire bolt. 

Not that he was tempted to begin with - the creatures do smell rather foul - but the warning is appreciated.

[izdatazn]

S.U.I.T.S - Terran's Hidden War

TERRAN 3 - JONGBANG CASTLE INFILTRATION

After my one-day trip to the Siberian wilderness, I returned to school the following day as if it were just another ordinary day, although there was a slight twist. The only thing that altered in my mundane life was Viktor's decision to accompany me back to Japan. This hulking muscular Russian man loomed over me like a bodyguard, arousing weariness and suspicion among the people whenever I ventured into public spaces.

What's even stranger is that Viktor registered to attend my school immediately, despite the fact that the school year was ending in a couple of months. However, Viktor doesn't actually go to classes; instead, he lingers near the school gate or on top of the bell tower while wearing my school uniform. It's understandable for anyone to find such a big muscular foreign guy suspicious.

"Where did you find him?" Nanako asked, taking a bite from her bento box that she had brought from home.

"Russia," I replied between bites of my bread. "Or maybe in the Siberian wilderness."

It was Friday, January 28th, 2079. Nanako, Hideki, and I were having lunch on our favorite rooftop as we enjoyed our food.

"Did you adopt him?" Hideki inquired.

"I think he adopted me," I responded.

"I don't think it works that way, Kobayashi," Nanako chimed in.

"Well," I continued as I took another bite. "He declared before leaving Russia that he would follow me back home and hasn't left me alone since then."

"Like a Siberian husky," Nanako giggled. "Aww," she huffed playfully. "Cute."

"This will take some getting used to," I sighed, changing the subject. "Welcome back to the land of the living, Hideki. How are you feeling?"

"My little sister and anyone else don't seem to notice that I was gone for two weeks so it's okay, I guess," he answered.

"It's because SUITS offers a temporary solution for operatives who suddenly vanish for a mission or need time to recover," Nanako explained.

Curious, I probed further. "What exactly is this temporary solution?"

Nanako responded emphatically, "Cloning with impeccable precision." She stressed once more: "I mean absolute perfection." My skepticism showed on my face as she continued talking. "Yes, there have been instances when we were absent for days and replaced by clones. You never suspected anything, did you?" In response to her question, I nodded silently. She concluded with conviction: "There you have it – flawlessly executed down to the tiniest detail. Isn't that unsettling?"

"It certainly is," I replied, shrugging my shoulders. "What about your brother? I haven't seen Ren at school since he was discharged from the hospital."

"He's been hiding out in the bell tower," Nanako revealed. "I think he's become best friends with Viktor."

"Really?" I asked, curious. "Viktor didn't mention anything to me."

"Well, at least Ren has someone else to befriend instead of constantly following me around," Nanako remarked.

I witnessed a beam of light shooting out from the top of the Yokohama Marine Tower and ascending into the sky. It exploded brilliantly, spreading outwards and revealing a transparent wall-like layer above the city.

Hideki informed me, "What you're witnessing is SUITS conducting their monthly check-up on their illusory defense shields. As you can see, they are holding up quite well." He continued, "These orbital defense guns and illusionary defense towers are also positioned in other major cities worldwide. However, construction is gradually taking place in smaller cities and rural areas."

"There's a catch though," I interjected.

"Approximately 75% of Earth's surface is covered by water, so SUITS believe it's pointless to construct these defenses at sea," Hideki explained further. "They don't have enough funds to expand into maritime territories."

Curious about their construction process, I asked, "How are these structures built?"

Nanako replied, "Private multi-conglomerates, corporations, and various military sectors are involved in their construction."

"How did you come to know about this?" I questioned.

"You may have heard certain private names appearing on news sites like Xaba Pharmaceutical and Arcane Aviation and Motors," Nanako added. "These companies are actually owned by SUITS but disguise themselves as regular corporations to gather funds from the general public."

"Like money laundering?" I queried.

"Confirming along those lines," Hideki said. "SUITS secures investments from public corporations and military installations through these private companies. They create presentation rooms showcasing advanced technology behind everyday innovations during annual events attended by millionaire, billionaire, and trillionaire investors who contribute funds to SUITS' private corporations. In turn, we utilize this money for constructing massive defense guns."

"SUITS seems to have thought of everything," I sighed in disbelief. "The Organization is quite scary.” I took another bite of my bread as I broke the silence once again. "Is it strange that we discuss SUITS missions in public?" I asked.

"No one is around, so it's fine," Hideki replied. "We act casual until the others join us." Just then, Saki and Hina stepped onto the rooftop and joined our group. "Like right now."

Hina sighed contentedly. "I can feel the temperature getting warmer. It's almost spring." She sat next to Nanako and opened her bento box. "Do you mind sharing, Nanako?"

Saki joined Hideki and me near the railing as she stood between us. She looked directly at me and asked, "That big guy following you is unsettling to me. Why is he suddenly following you?"

I chuckled nervously as I took a bite of my food. "Honestly, I don't know."

Every time I step out of the elevator, I am always astounded by the immense size of SUITS' expansive atrium. As I make my way through the bustling officers and operatives going in various directions, I head towards a specific sector. It's still difficult to believe that these top-of-the-line facilities are hidden deep within the Earth's mantle.

Viktor followed closely behind me as we had a meeting scheduled at Daisuke's office. When I arrived, Kokoro, and Aikawa were already there.

"Are you here to join us, Aikawa?" I asked.

“Of course, I’m here to protect you,” he replied with a chuckle, extending his fist towards Viktor. “Big man!”

"I'll consider it," I said annoyedly.

"Slightly bigger man," Viktor laughed as he fist-bumped Aikawa.

Daisuke initiated the meeting, visibly exhausted. "Alright, everyone is here," he announced. Though the lights remained unchanged, he tossed thirteen cards into the air, suspending them in front of us. I observed as the two of clubs burst into flames and slowly disintegrated, while two other cards glowed red.

"Thanks to Kokoro extracting information from the deceased Annisa Hidayat's two of clubs card," Daisuke began, "we have learned the recent locations of the Four and Five of Clubs that she encountered." A hologram of Earth hovered above his desk as all but the Four and Five Club cards disappeared.

"You're seeing this correctly, Issei," Daisuke continued. "We are going after both the Four and Five." The faces appeared on each card as he spoke. "The Five of Clubs, Dominic Kaiser, is currently in Venezuela influencing the regional population as he recently became mayor of a local town. His objective is to secure a position as President and eventually expand Venezuela's borders by invading neighboring nations to establish a powerful single nation. You will receive more information about our source later."

Aikawa interjected with additional details. "The Four of Clubs, Imka Mlambo, is hiding deep within Jongbang Castle in North Korea. He believes his immunity lies in SUITS' absence within that country. My friend Lee Miyoung has been disrupting his operations in South Korea while awaiting our arrival."

"Since South Korea is nearby," Daisuke informed us, "your team will depart immediately after this meeting." Holding up Annisa Hidayat's head card for emphasis, he added: "With her demise came speculation that the Deck of Clubs may finally be revealing themselves to public eye."

Curious about how this conclusion was reached,I asked Daisuke: "How do you know that?"

"Words spread quickly when there's a shift in status quo," Daisuke explained while laying out remaining cards on the table. "Though subtle, if you look and listen closely, you'll notice these cards vibrating." He met my gaze. "Your mission is to disrupt the Deck of Clubs' operations on Earth while we gather information about the other decks."

Viktor and I trailed behind Aikawa and Kokoro as they led us to the atrium. Since South Korea is in close proximity to our country, Asuka had access to faster modes of transportation and didn't want to waste any time getting there. The sun was setting as we departed from our homeland.

Following them, we arrived at the Front Line Sector of the Facility which eventually brought us deeper into the facility's transportation sub-sector. It was yet another part of this vast underground complex that I hadn't seen before, and as always, I couldn't help but be amazed.

As we continued on, passing by SUIT engineers fixing various machines, I noticed two tubes positioned on both sides. We found ourselves in an empty station with no one else around. Suddenly, doors swiftly opened nearby and a transportation capsule came to a halt. Asuka and Kokoro wasted no time boarding it and taking up empty seats. I followed suit just a few seconds later.

An automated voice spoke up, saying, "Welcome. Where is your destination?"

"Seoul, South Korea," Kokoro replied.

"Destination: Seoul, South Korea. Estimated arrival time: 10 minutes."

Only 10 minutes? The doors closed and I hurriedly fastened my seatbelt. Glancing around the capsule, I realized that the walls were transparent - I could see outside but not inside. Then the capsule started moving swiftly without any perceptible sense of motion within it. It astounded me to discover such advanced technology concealed on Earth.

Kokoro chair swiveled, revealing a sphere that materialized beside her. She delicately extended her hand towards the sphere, causing it to activate. In the darkness of the ocean, I had failed to notice the transition due to the capsule's transparent and dark walls, but suddenly we found ourselves submerged in water. A navigation map instantaneously appeared on the screen, with a red blip hurtling towards Korea at an astonishing speed.

Responding swiftly, Kokoro adjusted the capsule's trajectory upward. We ascended steadily as I observed through the translucent walls that the surrounding water was gradually illuminating. Moments later, we broke through the surface of the ocean—yet our journey didn't cease there. Propelled by its momentum, our wingless capsule soared above land.

Once again, I marveled at this incredible technology.

"Will anyone witness this?" I inquired curiously.

"What do you mean?" Aikawa responded. "This capsule is practically invisible when moving at high speeds and equipped with a cloaking device. No one would be able to perceive it." It took a couple more minutes for us to arrive above the city of Seoul. Kokoro’s chair turned once again and the sphere disappeared. The doors on both sides slid open.

"Activate your cloaks," Kokoro instructed, pointing at the button on my shoulder. "While our transportation is advanced, we are not." Viktor activated his cloaking device as he jumped off the ride, followed by Aikawa and Kokoro.

The computer chimed in, "Thank you for riding with us today." I pressed the button on my shoulder, unfastened my seatbelt, and became invisible. "Please have a pleasant day." I hopped off the transportation and landed silently in an alleyway.

Five random stars suddenly appeared in front of my face, thanks to the SUITS wrist device. "Please rate our service," it prompted. I rated the service with five stars and the stars disappeared. "Thank you for rating. Please utilize SUITs transportation soon," a message followed as I watched a capsule zoom away from above us. Damn advertisements, always popping up at inconvenient times. Since there was no one in the alleyway, I pressed the button on my shoulder to uncloak.

"Took you long enough," a female voice remarked, catching me off guard. Instantly, I drew my pistol and firmly gripped it in my hand. "If I had intended to kill you, I would have already done so. Lower your weapon." With hesitation, I held onto pistol for a few moments before finally relenting and lowering it. A female figure materialized before me, pointing her pistol at my head.

"You see," she stated calmly, "I could have dealt with you as soon as you landed." She holstered her gun near her waistline while briefly allowing me to catch a glimpse of her appearance—her left eye blind and her right eye mechanical, unmoving.

“This is Asuka’s other contact in South Korea," Kokoro said, standing behind Aikawa's where others stood patiently waiting their turn in our narrow alleyway circle formation.

"For now," she continued without further pleasantries or introductions—and with an urgent tone—"we must move swiftly." She paused for emphasis before revealing her name: "I am Lee Miyoung."

It took us another hour to reach the 38th parallel, but before we could cross, Miyoung made the decision to take a break and lift our spirits with a homemade meal. Therefore, we entered Miyoung's temporary home near the 38th parallel. It turned out to be a small studio apartment. I settled at the dining table while Viktor collapsed onto the sofa and promptly fell asleep. I couldn't understand how he could doze off when Aikawa, Miyoung, and Kokoro were cooking up such an enticing aroma of food. I checked Imka’s and Miyoung’s dossier while I waited for the food to finish.

Imka Mambo was born in 1610 in the region of South Africa, which was formerly known as Portuguese Angola and is now present-day Angola. Little information is available about Imka's life; however, it is mentioned that he was drafted into the Portuguese army and participated in the Portuguese War of Independence against Spain. This decision was made because the country promised soldiers who took part in the war the opportunity to own land. Imka joined with hopes of obtaining land in present-day Angola, but tragically died from dysentery due to a lack of immunity to Europe's diseases. 

I switched my reading to Lee Miyoung dossier. Lee Miyoung, who was born in 1405 during the Joseon Era under the reign of King Sejong the Great, faced numerous challenges in her early life as a blind orphan. However, her fortunes changed when King Sejong expressed interest in adopting young Lee Miyoung to serve his wife, Queen Soheon. Growing up within the palace walls of Hanyang (present-day Seoul), it became evident to Sejong that despite her blindness - indicated by the scarf she always wore around her eyes - she would become a devoted protector for Queen Soheon.

This proved to be true when Lee Miyoung, a teenager at the time, fearlessly saved the Queen's life during a failed assassination attempt. King Sejong entrusted her with a mission to apprehend or eliminate the leader responsible using his prototype makeshift rifle. Remarkably, Lee Miyoung succeeded in capturing the leader and proved herself invaluable to both King Sejong and Queen Soheon. Her exceptional abilities were recognized, leading her to assist King Sejong during the day and serve Queen Soheon in the evening. She eventually earned nicknames such as 'The Ghost Sniper' from King Sejong and 'The Blind Protector' from Queen Soheon. Tragically, her life came to an end while protecting Queen Soheon during a nighttime raid.

"Kobayashi, how's the light reading going?" Miyoung inquired. "I hope you came across something interesting that happened in my life.”

"I have discovered through my research that you consistently protected King Sejong and Queen Soheon until their final moments, even though you disregarded SUITS' orders to stay out of human conflicts," I continued reading. "It appears that you have a deep affection for the King and Queen."

"They are like my precious family, and I am forever grateful to them, even in death," Miyoung replied. "My loyalty is dedicated solely to them."

"It also mentions that despite being blind, you were so captivated by Queen Soheon's beauty that you couldn't resist her invitations," I questioned. "How could you be enchanted by her beauty if you are blind?"

I detected a slight hesitation in her voice. "I would prefer not to talk about it," she stated, swiftly changing the subject. She proceeded to place both the side and main dishes on the table while the girls gathered around. We commenced our meal. "For a few years now, I have been monitoring Imka Mlambo's activities," Miyoung began as she reached for the side dishes. "I observed an unusual disruption in and around Seoul, so I decided to investigate further. It turns out that Imka has been causing trouble by interfering with South Korea's economy.”

"In which case, you will need SUITS to assist you," I stated.

"No, I only require Asuka's help," she corrected me. “But she’s busy with her own mission so this team will do. However, since this is your second mission, Kobayashi, I am interested to see how well you perform.” She continued. ”Anyway, let's finish up so we can apprehend Imka.”

We leaped over the guarded fence as we crossed the 38th parallel into North Korea. Midnight was approaching as we continued to move forward through the grass. The border guards on both sides had not noticed anything suspicious thus far. As we reached the castle wall, ascending in the dark of night, we noticed a guard stationed above us. Miyoung silently took down the guard from up close, her gun making no sound.

We hopped over the wall while Miyoung decided to separate from the group and head towards the entrance door. Through our communications, she informed us that she would be observing us from another location. As we got closer to our destination, two guards near the castle entrance suddenly collapsed to the ground. We hid behind a tree or a bush nearby.

"The guards have been taken down," Miyoung spoke.

"Your gun doesn't make any sound?" I asked.

"I forgot to mention this, Kobayashi," Miyoung stated. "But my specialty is sound manipulation. My guns are completely noiseless."

After a brief wait, we noticed the castle entrance suddenly opening. Despite the darkness, the moon provided enough light for us to see a large, heavily armored female figure emerging from the opening accompanied by two lightly armored guards.

"My gun will be effective against that heavily armored woman," Miyoung remarked. Just as she said that, both guards standing beside her fell to the ground. "But I can take care of them."

"The Ghost Sniper is too afraid to fight up close," the lady taunted with a roar. "Come out of hiding, Sniper. Your gun won't penetrate my armor!" She laughed and confidently slapped her spiked mace against her armor.

"Gisela Brant is her name, Imka's personal bodyguard," Miyoung shared with us. "She's quite a nuisance."

In that moment, Viktor decided to leave his hiding spot and boldly approached Gisela at the entrance. "Since The Ghost Sniper enjoys hiding," Viktor confidently spoke up. "I will gladly take her place as your opponent. My Wilma would love this.” Viktor rested his weapon on his shoulder. Another guard rushed out from the entrance and attacked Viktor but was easily taken down by his heavy weapon.

"Viktor will be your opponent," he declared proudly and patted his chest while another guard aimed their gun at him. However, before they could pull the trigger, Miyoung swiftly took down the guard with precision accuracy.

While Viktor kept Gisela distracted, we seized this opportunity to make our way towards the castle wall under cover of darkness in search of an alternative entry point.

"Is this large woman afraid of Viktor?" he provocatively inquired of Gisela.

“Big man believe I'm frightened?" Gisela mockingly laughed. Several dozen additional enemies could be seen emerging from the entrance as Gisela joined in to assail Viktor.

We noticed a faint light emanating from the open window above us. Determined, we made the decision to scale the wall towards that very window. Upon reaching it, I heard a loud thud and glanced into the hallway to find an enemy guard sprawled on the floor. Miyoung had successfully incapacitated the guard stationed there. Moving quickly, I assisted Aikawa and Kokoro in entering the castle just as two guards appeared across the hallway. However, thanks to Miyoung's quick action, one of them was swiftly apprehended as they passed by an open window. At the same time, Asuka skillfully threw her fan and successfully eliminated the second guard. Their response time was so fast, I didn’t have time to aim my gun at the enemy. We continued on as we followed our map to the castle’s main thrown room. 

“Viktor, how are you holding up?” I asked.

I suddenly heard his faint laughter echoed outside the castle but I heard him response. “Viktor is having fun with Gisela!” He laughed in the coms as well.

We proceeded down the hallway towards the top floor, silently and swiftly neutralizing the remaining guards. Upon reaching the door leading to the throne room, I detected some noises coming from behind us.

"I'll handle them," Kokoro declared, walking away. "You guys deal with Imka," she added as she trotted off.

I placed my hand on the door and sensed a surge of energy emanating from beyond it. My heart raced, overwhelmed by this immense power. I felt Aikawa firmly put his hand on my shoulder.

"Don't worry, I’ll protect you,” Aikawa patted my shoulder with confidence.

“Thanks? I guess.” I took a deep breath before exhaling heavily. Pushing open the door, we stepped into the throne room. The doors closed behind us, enveloping the room in complete silence as moonlight streamed through. His energy extended across the space as he hid in darkness.

He revealed himself by cautiously stepping closer to where moonlight bathed him. "Kobayashi, it's finally time to meet someone who killed Annisa," Imka spoke with confidence. "I won't go down easily like her." Suddenly, he charged at me with full force.

Viktor forcefully struck his weapon against Gisela's chestplate, bracing himself for her counterattack. Neither of them budged. Viktor followed up with a punch to Gisela's face, only to receive a swift retaliation as she struck him with her mace before falling to the ground.

Though the impact of the mace left only a minor scar on Viktor's cheek, it failed to faze him. Gisela promptly stood up, her helmet bent from Viktor's previous blow. She tossed her helmet at him and launched another attack. As Gisela swung her mace, Viktor skillfully evaded each strike while delivering quick jabs at her armor. However, these jabs had no noticeable effect on Gisela given that she was focused on swiftly ending their battle.

Gisela increased her speed and managed to land several solid punches and hits with her mace against Viktor. Despite the force behind these blows, they did not shake him; instead, they fueled his enjoyment of the fight even more. Determined not to be outdone, Viktor matched or even slightly surpassed Gisela's speed. He repeatedly slammed his weapon into her chest area, progressively weakening her armor after each strike.

In one final swing, Viktor successfully lodged his weapon into Gisela's chest plate and proceeded to rip off the rest of her armor. He delivered a powerful punch directly to her chest causing Gisela to stagger backwards onto her knees while the remaining pieces of armor fell away.

"Wilma loves your gift," Viktor chuckled triumphantly. "Thank you for this opportunity, Gisela." The armor attached to his weapon began melting and covering most of its surface as he took steps towards Gisela.As he continued speaking, Viktor revealed,"You may not know this, but Viktor is made entirely out of metal.My weapon, Wilma, enjoys devouring metal." Gradually, his arm transformed into metal. "You've been destined to lose from the onset of this match." His metallic hand firmly grasped Gisela's head, and Viktor knelt before her, piercing her with his intense gaze. "You have chosen the wrong side." His weapon ominously brushed against her vulnerable chest.

Gisela laughed weakly as blood trickled from her mouth. "I have witnessed a superior version of this world, one far more magnificent," she spat out defiantly.

Without hesitation, Viktor impaled Gisela's face and chest with sharp metal spikes, abruptly ending her life. He released his grip on her face and took a step back while leaving the spikes embedded in her body. With one final swing of his weapon, he decapitated Gisela.

I did my best to assist in the battle against Imka alongside Aikawa, but my efforts proved to be in vain as I lacked a weapon like Aikawa’s massive axe, which allowed him to engage Imka at close range. Although Imka managed to evade Aikawa’s attacks, he attempted to strike me only to be blocked by Aikawa.

I engaged in a game of cat and mouse with Imka, which irritated him. Nevertheless, I was able to land a few gentle punches on his face, causing him frustration. Asuka and I continued the two vs one fight, playing with his emotions.

Eventually, he pushed Aikwa to the side and successfully landed a couple of swift punches on my body before shifting his focus to defending himself against Aikawa. Those swift punches were truly agonizing. Imka managed to land a powerful punch that sent Asuka flying across the room, then quickly refocused his attention on me. Moving at such speed that I couldn't track his movements, I dropped my gun and drew my knife, desperately swinging it in hopes of finding an opportunity to strike at Imka. It was no easy task.

"Do you need any assistance?" Miyoung asked.

Desperately gasping for breath, I managed to respond, "Just give me a little more time." In an instant, Imka materialized in front of me once again, his arm cocked back and ready to strike at my face. Acting swiftly, I blocked his attack with lightning reflexes. Seizing the opportunity, I reached for his arm, expertly twisted it, and swiftly severed it with my knife. "You see? All I needed was a little extra time," I declared triumphantly as I kicked him away.

"Quite impressive," Imka admitted as his arm began regenerating. Without hesitation, he resumed his assault. "But not impressive enough." He hurled his weapon at me once more and ensnared my left wrist with its deadly grip. Pulling forcefully on it in an attempt to overpower me, he underestimated my resilience. With unwavering strength and skillful precision, I deftly wrapped the weapon around my own arm before exerting enough force to draw him towards me.

Now that I had gained the advantage in this intense battle of determination, Imka approached me with a menacing stagger and his other arm ominously drawn back.

I observed as he once again directed his fist towards my face. Swiftly sidestepping, his punch barely brushed against my cheek. In response, I forcefully sliced off Imka's entire arm, causing his fist to collide with the wall. Simultaneously, I propelled him backwards with a powerful kick and applied even more pressure. Severing his remaining arm and forcefully returning him to the center of the room, Imka lay motionless on the ground.

I reached down for his discarded throwing weapon, wiping the blood off my lips as I made my way over to Aikawa. Assisting him to his feet, I noticed movement from Imka. Slowly rising to his knees, he gave me a grim smile.

"Is that all you've got?" I noticed his arm slowly regenerating. "I'm not done with you." I threw his weapon at Imka, which struck his chest and caused him to fall to his knees.

"Finish him," Miyoung commanded.

"S.U.I.T.S will apprehend him," I gasped for breath. "He will eventually die from his wounds."

Miyoung disagreed, saying, "He won't."

Imka laughed, gasping for breath. "Yes, Kobayashi. Either end me now or I will seek revenge on you once I recover." His laughter filled the dark room, echoing around us.

"Fine," Miyoung stepped out of the dark corner and raised her pistol. The barrel touched the back of Imka's head as silence enveloped them, with only Imka's heavy breathing breaking it. "I'll do it myself." With a single shot to the head, she ended his life. Miyoung lowered her gun and said sternly, "You still have much to learn about this world, Kobayashi."

[littlefirefly42]

Be Safe!

Halloween is in two days! While that's exciting, it's also right about now that we should remember Halloween safety for our friends, family, pets, and selves.

Candy

-Do not eat any candy with broken or altered packaging

-Check the news. If last year or this year there were reports of contaminated candy in a certain area, don't go there! If there are reports of drugs being made to look like a specific candy, don't eat it!

-Be wary of any powdery candies or tablet candies such as smarties, sweetarts, or pixie stix. Some people choose to just closely examine these carefully. Others choose to simply throw them away. There were recently multiple cases of colored fentanyl disguised as candy in my state, so I will be throwing them out.

-Razor blades and needles are less common in candy than drugs, but you should still be careful. Eat your candy in bites (yes, even the fun-sized ones) to avoid swallowing anything dangerous

-Do not accept homemade treats from anyone you don't know personally

-If you're especially skeptical, bring your candy to the police station and have it examined.

-Trust your gut. When in doubt, throw it out!

Pets

-If you have a cat, KEEP IT INSIDE. People are not kind to cats on Halloween, and often they get kidnapped and "sacrificed". This is especially true for black cats and white cats

-If you are going to dress up your pet, make sure you get them comfortable with the costume. This means dressing them up in advance and rewarding them with treats when they act calmly. Please remember that not all pets like costumes, so if yours is acting stressed or aggressive and treats and comfort are not helping to calm them, it might be for the best that they do not dress up

-Even if your furry friend doesn't have a costume, you can still take them trick or treating. Just make sure they wear a collar with contact information and are micro-chipped, and walk them on a leash. Make sure they are also wearing something reflective, such as a reflective collar or harness. This applies especially if they are small and/or darkly colored

-Some people hand out pet treats on Halloween. Use the same procedure as you do for candy when accepting treats for your pet. Inspect them carefully, and do not feed your pets anything that was homemade by someone you don't know

-If your pet is particularly skittish or tends to act up around people(ie. jumping, barking, hissing, etc.), bring your own treats and give them plenty of reassurance. Additionally, remember that some pets are better off left at home, for their sake and the sake of those around you

Trick or Treating

-Bring something to defend yourself with. Blade, pepper spray, r@pe alarm, whatever. As long as it's legal and you know how to use it. This is VERY IMPORTANT. You know self defense? Great! Bring protection anyway, just in case.

-If you are taking a little kid trick or treating, make sure they have their own protection. I'd recommend pepper spray rather than a switchblade if you catch my drift, but whatever you do, don't leave them empty-handed. At the very least teach them self defense

-Do not go trick or treating in an unfamiliar area unless you're going with someone who knows the area well

-You do not need to wear reflective gear, but I do advise you wear glow sticks and/or use a reflective bag. Neither will ruin your costume, both will keep you safe. However, as long as you use your common sense when crossing streets, it is not a must

-If you are taking a small child trick or treating, it IS a must to have them wear reflective or light-up gear, so that they are easily identifiable to both you and drivers

-Conversely, make sure that you wear something easily identifiable, in case you and your child get separated. Examples include a really large or flamboyant costume, or wearing all one color of glow sticks. Make sure it is something that both your child and a stranger can recognize, in case your child gives a description of you to someone

Parties

-Do not go alone to a party where you don't know anyone or don't know anyone well

-Bring protection. I'm not talking about condoms. I'm talking about pepper spray and switchblades

-Bring protection. I'm talking about condoms. If you plan to have sex, please do it safely and responsibly

-Know when to leave. If the party is getting crazy or people are acting dangerous, don't stick around! There's no shame in leaving early

-If you plan on drinking, have a plan to get home. And have a backup plan in case your first one doesn't work out for some reason.

[sor-vette]

#11 Sh*t, again

“It’s a refurbished student housing,” you explain as they trail after you like ducks in a row. Even if they don’t understand what you’re saying, they seem to be clinging to every word. Wherever you look there’s always at least one pair of doe eyes staring expectantly back at you a.k.a. what do you do when you open your doors and find a certain retired boyband for some reason wants to move in

▶ type: ot7 x fem! reader (poly)

▶ word count: 3.4k

▶ series’ masterlist

▶ other works

▶t/w: description of panic attacks/inability to breathe, allusions to trauma and dysfunctional family relationship, crippling self-hatred (more like self - disgust I guess), crying.

▶ a/n: day drinking, loves, and wailing over all of your comments and reblogs (T＿T) thank god for autocorrect. This was a very hard and very personal chapter to write, so it might not be good quality-wise, but it advances the plot

You look unto the reflection, bracing against the airport counter. The person, if it was that, looks exhausted in the mirror, worn out like a shoe in a trek far too heavy for its structure.

“That was a mistake.”

It was a mistake.

You let the words cut deep, repeating the moment over and over and over again like singularly cutting in the same place. The pain and the embarrassment will cauterize the wounded self-worth. After a while, you will feel nothing at all. Despite Hoseok being a surprising addition, he was in the end just another silhouette in the long list of people who made mistakes.

And that happened. You couldn't force anyone to like you or stay around and for one not saying that being with you was a mistake. No, you could only pick up what was discarded and hopefully, finally, learn the lesson that sometimes one just had to stop trying.

"This would have never happened if you would have stayed away," you mumble snidely to the reflection.

They're not your boyfriends for all that's holy, not your friends, just roommates.

You stare ahead and force the tension out of your shoulders, to grow numb as though shrugging off pesky, clinging fingers away from your heart. Far, far away. Just roommates, strangers, not your friends. You didn't care what they thought, your only job was to glide through this unmarked.

Even so, the frown in the mirror remains bitter.

The living room is silent now, greyer even - without you in it. Taehyung hauls the last suitcase into the hallway but he goes through the motions on an auto-pilot. Jimin discards the briefly lived hope of the Curse being lifted.

Hoseok rocks on the couch, face hidden in his knees, shoulders shaking in quiet, muffled sobs.

"Just yell at me, please," he once again begs Yoongi who hovers above him with a blank expression.

"No."

"Then let me go home."

"No."

Hoseok unexpectedly springs up, face unrecognizable, caught somewhere awful between grief and outrage. Yoongi stands unfazed even if he has to crane upwards to meet Hoseok's frenzied glare.

"Damn it, you bastard! Can't you see I'm ruining everything!"

"So what?" Yoongi arches a judgemental brow.

A tense pause descends upon them. Tension is so thick, no one dares to breathe and in the space of their home, the only sound to be heard is Jungkook biting his nails, eyes wide and frightened, flitting between everyone present.

"What do you mean "so what"?" Hoseok hisses and Yoongi's lips curl in annoyance.

"So what if you ruin everything? Do you really think I'm going to let you go because of it? You're not going to take the easy way out of this, Mr Jung, so stop trying!"

Hoseok slumps, all fight leaving at once.

"Mr Jung?" he echoes, with the faintest of smiles peaking through the otherwise solemn expression.

Yoongi flushes.

"I said what I said," he huffs defensively, leaving to sit down.

Jin reaches around Hoseok's chest, squeezing him tightly.

"Yoongi is right, we're not giving up on you and you're not giving up on us. Right, Tae?"

Taehyung brushes past, dabbing away the wetness on Hoseok's face with his sleeve.

"Right," he affirms.

Once they settled down, Namjoon cracked his neck and with a determination that once swayed nations, walks in front.

"First of all, I'm sorry to all of you."

As expected they begin to protest. He holds out a hand.

"Let me finish. As your leader, I've failed to get us all together on one page and I'm sorry that some of you have felt unheard," he glanced at Hoseok. "Or cast to the side."

Jungkook squirmed in his seat when that almost too caring gaze paused on him.

"We've been through this before - fights, unspoken thoughts. Jin's already thirty - "

"Pre-historic," Jungkook muttered to himself, earning a light laugh.

" - surely we're not that stupid to not learn anything after all this time. I know that this is unpleasant but we're going to sit here and honestly talk about it until everything that needs to be said is out. So, Jungkook, take the stage."

The addressed jumps, pointing one unsure finger towards his chest.

"Me?"

Namjoon nodded.

"Yes, you. You've been the most open from the start so if you could help us to do the same, we... I'd be grateful."

Jungkook looked around, abruptly feeling like he was back in school, called to a board to solve an equation he did not know the answer to. Shyly, he shuffled to the front, backside reflecting in the mirror above the fireplace, wringing his hands.

"Um...we can do...um... "I feel statements?" he suggests near inaudibly and the reaction is underwhelming. He rattles his mind to find something more meaningful but you leaving, trailing red suitcase behind, is the only thing flashing before his eyes.

"Or..." Jungkook begins tepidly then gathering himself. This was not school and his soulmates were not teachers. "Maybe we can be honest with each other about why we haven't told her the truth."

Suspense surges to new heights whilst they all eye each other.

"We agreed - " Jimin bleats but Jungkook interrupts him softly, knowing their collective defence mechanisms like the back of his hand.

"I know we agreed but there was a reason as to why. And it's not just because it's crazy."

Jungkook takes in the sight of his elders resembling little kids before scolding. Regardless, he would do what he always did - he'd protect them. Sometimes even from themselves.

"Yeah, I guess, we'll start there."

Echoes of applause ring all around as the room is submerged into darkness.

You numbly lower your arms to your lap, not listening to the speech about building sustainability but thinking of home.

Was the heating connected or were they cold, did they put away the laundry? Was Hoseok smoking right now?

Angrily, you scuff your shoe against the floor, puffing at the podium. It was not your place to ask these questions. You were just their roommate.

"That was a mistake."

Yeah, it was a mistake. Maybe all of it.

A weight suddenly drops down next to you. You don't even attempt to hinder the "fuck you want" expression naturally appearing once you slowly turn around to rip into this guy. But he seems unbothered.

There's a very, very big smile on his face sat below two sparkly, dark eyes. Automatically your attention travels towards the screaming blue hair. His suit, as well, was blue along with the shirt, but somehow he pulled the triple monochrome off - not an easy task you have to give him that. On his wrist was a watch and in it - a picture of Moomin.

"Hello!" he greeted you happily, having an aura not so vaguely reminiscent of a Labrador puppy.

"You're shaking," you point out in the flattest tone imaginable.

The guy looks down at his bouncing leg...s. He was barely sitting at this point, more so levitating.

"I am!" he exclaims as if the information was indeed new. You wait for him to continue but he doesn't. He just...stares at you with this wide, psychotic grin.

"What's your name?"

"Jae!"

"Okay, Jae, do you often tremble like a wet dog in front of strangers?"

He barks a burst of laughter in surprise, so loud it travels throughout the room and after it, there fly several dozen off-put glares. You look straight ahead, pretending not to be existent.

"Sorry, I just...wait a minute!"

As quietly as possible, he leaves the chair and then to your never-ending bewilderment returns back, suddenly sober.

"Hello, my name is Jae, as you can see I'm completely normal and I'm a big fan of yours."

You gingerly accept his outstretched hand. It's disturbingly damp.

"You're still shaking."

"I had twelve energy drinks," he vibrates gaily.

"So then I saw you and I couldn't believe my eyes so I stood in the corner, thinking of whether to say "hi" or "hello", you know which one would be more professional but then I thought maybe professional would be the wrong choice, it would create this distance but "hey" is so inappropriate, it's too casual - "

Jesus Christ. And you thought you were overthinking. Jae was pacing in the front of you like a humanoid sonic or perhaps an overgrown hummingbird. Ten minutes of talking and he hadn't even gotten to the point.

"Hey, hey," you calp to get his attention, "you mentioned something about being a fan?"

"Oh, yeah, we went to the same school! Or I guess, I'm still going...Raffles!"

That explained very little.

"You see, I'm starting my last year, well, I started it already, well, I'm kind of on a leave - "

You hope to squeeze the headache away.

"Please get to it."

"Okay, in five steps. I need a Master's degree. I don't know what to write. The only thesis I liked is yours. I become your intern and get inspired. Stonks."

At the last word, he snaps his fingers.

"Stonks?"

"It's a meme. Means profit."

"Yes, I know what it means," you shift on the plush bench outside the conference room.

"Listen, kid - "

"I'm only two years younger than you," Jae pouts, barely restraining himself from launching through the roof at this point.

"How many times did you get an extension?!"

Jae twiddles with his thumbs, ears turning pink. Like Jin's. You shake yourself away from that tangent.

"Two years perhaps..."

"Mancini gave you a two-year extension?!" you can't help but gape in disbelief. That old rag didn't even pardon a week for a belated essay as far as you knew.

"He said he'll give me anything if I just stop talking and get out of his office."

"Checks out. As I was saying, it's flattering that you like my thesis but for one, I'm not in a position to have interns, for two if you don't even have a topic after what? A year? The best for you, is to just hunker down and do some serious work, not wait - "

"It's all a bunch of nonsense, anyway."

....

....

....

No.

No.

Please.

No.

You recognize that voice. You'd know it in the dead of night. It was always somewhere in the back of your mind, unwilling to leave, continuing to haunt you despite the distance.

It hadn't changed at all. Was as sharp as it had been when it kicked you out of home.

Your body moves despite your brain being frozen, leaping behind Jae, hiding, like a child would.

She is older but to you as intimidating as she had always been and all it really takes is a mere look for everything that you built to crumble into dust.

Funny or maybe just ironic that the first memory you've ever had was with her. New Year's. The change between 1999 to 2000, standing in a city square and watching numerous fireworks. You'd felt small in your mother's hands but back then it was safe, protecting. The point of passing when that safety became terror and smallness became powerlessness wasn't just blurred, it was non-existent. You had your first memory and then - quiet, tears, fear. Fear which you once again felt as your heart came to a sharp stop even as an adult.

Jae abruptly stops as he becomes your makeshift shield and you listen in to the conversation when your mother and her colleagues pass by. Or more accurately you try to listen but all you hear is rushing of blood in your ears and heartbeat in your throat. You'd never see her again, it's what you wished and what she yelled. It was in any way the only thing you ever agreed about.

They discuss plans, office plans, and something about new design but you can't focus as you take in her every movement, vigilant about possible discovery. Part of you, tiny, rebellious, resentful, is curious what would she do would you make contact - would she ask, would she wonder what became of her daughter or would she ignore you, letting her gaze go past you as if you were nothing but a bare stool, shoved to the side of the wall. That relentlessly angry part of you wants to scream, wants to jeer and mock her to just for once, for once, make her feel everything you felt but a much more present part would never dare - it was no use. No matter how hard you'd scream and fight, your words would fall flat and your punches would bring no injury. Imagine trying to push a tsunami and try not to feel defenceless. With every single muscle in your body aflame with tension, you wait as she passes and you remain unseen. Invisible. A ghost in your own life.

You try to brush it off like nothing happened but as the seconds drag it's you who's falling.

"So, listen, I," you speak but it's nonsense. Shivery nonsense.

You're quivering.

It's not cold.

In your hand there's a pen, you meant to write something down but it falls as your fingers involuntary let it go, growing increasingly catatonic by the second.

The words that should form in your brain then travel through your mouth, go too fast, so you stumble upon them, tripping.

"I - I."

Too fast, you can't think.

You can't breathe.

You can't breathe.

"I - I've got to go," you manage to pant out, rushing through the emergency exit and down the stairs, walls mingling together and squeezing around like a chokehold around your throat.

You can't breathe.

You crash through the door and onto the brick wall of the contemporary museum building, pulling in short, panicked breaths one after another, but they don't reach the end of your lungs.

You can't breathe.

A moment too late you realize you're having a panic attack.

Repetitively, you strike your palm against the brick, running desperately out of air, even underneath the open sky of New York.

Rats go past you, fumes and car noises and the world is simultaneously too small, locking you like a spider in a jar, and too big, in which you're all alone and with nothing to protect you with.

You can't breathe.

In time, even this passes, leaving your skin too hot and your legs barely working. Bracing yourself against the dirty wall, you guide yourself out the alleyway and into the street. You left your coat back in the wardrobe, your bag, all of your things but she's there and the simple thought of ever seeing her again hitches your breath and has your knees in danger of giving out, right here on the street. You can't do that, there are people watching.

Just go, just leave, go.

You warily look around, trying to see if anyone has noticed you acting strangely, but it's New York. No one cares.

You will yourself to walk, step by step, little by little, you did it again, you can do it once more.

But every time it feels like dying.

In wild, there are very few species of animals, that survived leaving their home early. They died. The lone wolf was not glamorous, it was weak and often passed away alone and abandoned. You wonder if humans were the same.

But you were an adult, adults left their homes, built their own nests and were not hindered by their past. It's just that it never felt like you were an adult. Growing older, yes, but not increasing in strength or confidence, remaining this - running, hiding away in empty rooms, waiting for the bad times to pass. They never did.

Look at the people on the streets, adults with their lives. They all looked so sure of themselves, never questioning the right to be here, rushing towards their many endeavours and businesses. Their own families, lovers, friends. They were normal.

God, you wanted to be normal.

You just want to be okay, to not be this. To be normal, to have a normal life, have a home to return to and not sit watching the cascading light of streetlamps night after night, unable to sleep.

You just want to be normal.

Please, make it stop.

You'll never be normal.

You'll always be this pathetic little thing. Unable to speak. Unable to say. Unable to love or be loved. Alone.

You can't breathe again.

Please, just make it stop.

But the second time, you can't stop. Tears slip on your dry, wind bitten cheeks. It hurts.

It doesn't stop.

You're making a scene, you're being a freak, everyone's looking at you. You're being a freak. They're going to see you.

The second time it's greater. There's not a clear thought in your skull, just panic, flashes of various fears pounding at your chest, until every passerby is a threat, every moment outside is a danger.

You're going to die. They're going to laugh at you.

You can't breathe.

You rush into a coffee shop by the looks of it, running towards the white door with a restroom sign atop it. You slam the doors shut and fall to the floor, gasping for air, any air.

This. This is what you'll always be for the rest of your life. Never becoming better, never being actually okay. This is what you were. This

Shaking, you hit your palm against the floor, trying to relieve the bubble that squeezes your chest with sharp pain, pushing the air away from your lungs.

But it doesn't go away, it doesn't stop. You don't think it ever will.

"Jungkookie, you can't feel someone's else's emotions," his mother coos, wiping the ice cream away from his face. But he's sure he can. It was early August day, sunny and warm and he was walking with his parents through the park, ice cream in hand, he should be happy but he's not. He's cold and he wants to cry.

He might be five years old but he's certain that the reason why this feeling doesn't make sense, it's because it was not his.

He wakes up with start, forehead covered in sweat. The living room is dark as they all sleep fitfully on the cold floor with blankets and pillows thrown haphazardly around. After the conversation that they just had, they couldn't bear to part to their own rooms, to leave anyone behind.

It's night now. The window is dark and there's not a sound outside. Unlike Seoul, this city did sleep.

He's sweating and it's not because he has six other figures pressing into him, in one way or another. He can't breathe. There's this pressure in his chest and he can't think or breathe. He pushes fingers against his thundering heart, eyes welling with tears at the darkness.

He thinks your having a panic attack.

He's felt this echo before.

But you're so far away, he can't reach out to you. He can't comfort you, he can't protect you, he can't save you like he did them.

Jungkook lifts Taehyung's hand away from his waist and untangles Namjoon's legs from his, wobbling outside the door, careful to not step on the creaky spots on the floor.

The air is crisp and exceptionally cold. Their street is barren, lined with trees, cars and yellow rays of street lamps. His heart is beating too harshly still, as he tries to regain his breath, one exhale after the next. The echo dims away and the only connection he has to you, whether imaginary or real, he loses it too.

He looks upward, eyes growing too warm for his liking.

"Just punish me," he asks of the being that put them all together. "If this is a grudge, if you're repaying for what they said last time, just punish me instead. I'll take it, I swear!"

He recalls the woman standing in the tarot shop door in Daehangno, looking exasperated at weeping Jungkook, wringing his school bag in between his sweaty palms.

"You said I could do it, make everything okay, that I had a gift," he sniffles through the memory, trying to picture every small bit of her expression. It's all but fog with colours. Moments, possibly hours pass as he stands in the middle of the road, looking up at no one.

"Guess, you lied."

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a/n: okay, so 1. the last scene with Jungkook probably doesn't make any sense now. The context will be given when we get his .5 chapter which I think will be after the next one. 2. The angst will continue into chapter 12 as we keep unpacking all of this family situation and move onto the next phase reader will have with the boys. Think of it like season two of a TV show. 3. If any of y'all come for Jae, say goodbye to your kneecaps, he is my baby 😤 4. Raffles short for RM Istituto Moda e Design in Milano. A real school, never been, probably will be so inaccurately portrayed further on as well as the entire interior designer profession, sorry to them