#i mean okay blame raphael and michael a bit too but

[radarchives]

[shallowseeker]

via @monstermoviedean

Oh God, oh God, no one knows how important this is to me, and because it's Christmas, I can't stop myself venting again.

<cue the image of Raphael’s vessel>

DEAN: So is this what I'm looking at if Michael jumps in my bones?

CASTIEL: No, not at all. Michael is much more powerful. It'll be far worse for you.

DEAN looks away.

5x03

///

Instead, we find Dean, incredibly hungry and incredibly tired. Even though he apparently already already told Cas he was gonna crash, Dean delays his own rest, taking a moment to check on Rowena (aww!) and to try to refuel.

14x15

//

But before Dean can even eat or catch up with Cas, enter Sam:

So, Cas steps in to mentor Sam, hoping Dean can try his hand at connecting with Jack and get some much-needed sleep in the process (not to mention, getting to eat)!

14x15

///

Status of the team:

Cas has the Empty deal hanging over his head, and he’s scrambling to solve these unsolvable problems while also giving his loved one/partner time to rest. (And lordy geez, no wonder Cas tries to spare Dean… Even if it backfires spectacularly, it’s understandable given everything that he’s seeing Dean go through here).

Dean was head-injured and psychologically wounded from being The AU Michael vessel for so long. He likely feels directly responsible for both the Rowena and Jack injuries, as well as all the AU hunter deaths. (Note: Conjecture, but I think we see the first glimmer of emotional despair/crosstalk of blame aimed at Cas which is… fascinating. Sam of course misses it entirely, thinking Dean mostly made the decision to stay for Sam.)

Rowena was similarly psychologically wounded to Dean. She become the AU Michael vessel hoping that, although Michael would not honor his word, she could be strong enough to save the day, or at least hold him off for a bit. Then she failed spectacularly, watching her hands kill everyone she helped save from Apocalypse World.

Jack is perhaps the most severely wounded of all, sacrificing his soul in a move so painful that Cas and Dean can barely face it, lingering in the space of denial and forlorn hope. (Jack’s eating, so he must have a soul left, right? Donatello said he’s fine, so he’s fine, right?)

But Sam is spiraling so hard over his own losses, the above doesn’t even seem to occur to him. Sam has inflated responsibility, but it’s still so self-focused, I think?

Castiel: Maybe. *shoots Sam a knowing look after the case gets more complicated, and Sam yawns*

Sam: I'm good. I'm good, honestly.

Castiel: *dryly* Yeah, I know. Everybody's good. But after this, maybe Dean's right. *Then, chastising* You need to rest.

Sam: Can't.Just because I'm tired doesn't mean the monsters are gonna stop, you know? Doesn't mean anything. Plus we don't have as many Hunters as we used to.

In risking his own safety, Sam also risks the safety of those that love him. Cas is trying to mentor Sam, because Cas was crushed by the weight of his own authoritarian leadership, and like Sam, Cas too wanted to reject leadership, abdicate responsibility, and run away, fearful of “destroying everything again.”

///

However, even after snapping out of the need to run away, Sam only acknowledges his mistake in running Dean ragged and his own pain. I’m a little reminded of that moment in The End, where Sam calls Dean in a panic about his own destiny re: angel vessels, but doesn’t lead with empathy for Dean’s plight.

Sam: I hate this place right now. I hate it. Everywhere I look, I see them. I see Maggie.I guess that's why, uh -- why I was so desperate to get out of here, why I kept running us ragged. But I got to stop that. I-I can't keep running. I -- This is my home. This is our home. Dean, I think I just need some time.

Dean: *assessing, maybe a little disappointed* Okay.

Dean, seeing that Sam is very plugged into his own mistakes and emotional pain, but still isn’t considering the plight of the rest of the team, disengages.

Sam’s empathy for others is (404 Not Found)?

You ever just remember Dean kept an archangel trapped in his mind for months on nothing but sheer willpower?

[still-a-morosexual-help]

Gonna be posting my asks and answers from @well-shit-im-a-morosexual-now here cause tumblr's fucking up that blog:

Hii!!! I basically agree with everything you just said but I'll go into more detail on it with your points:

- I do 100% believe S4 should be a new character/angel focused season. I think I said so in the lesson 60 summary too that it'd make sense and be interesting to meet the angels and get their side of the story without the brothers' interference (the angels give me HEAVY morally grey characters who think they're wholly in the right vibes and I love it) + there's still a lot of Simeon and Solomon backstory to explore!

- The way S3 ended and how much of it was anyway about the angels I definitely think S4 will expand on it and introduce them

- And I think it'll possibly start right after S3 ends? I mean Raphael's here now and Solomon wants to start properly training MC so why not. And there's no other reason to leave Simeon and Luke behind than to start it up with them in the centre

- ALSO!!! ANDISJSHSKS "RAPH" given what they've showed of him he seems like the type of person to take HEAVY offense to that

- S3 did end with Raphael. Simeon called him by name.

- As much as I do want to see more Diavolo and find out more about his and more importantly Barbatos' backstories I don't think they'll turn up much? Or at least not until the last few lessons cause he left saying he had important personal issues to take care of back in the devildom

- I genuinely thought they would be shown in S3 after Solomon mentioned them and yeah damn I wanna know more about them. Also I just saw the Solomon UR+ animation card from months ago today

- I definitely want to know whose grave he was leaving flowers at

- As much as I want an angel focused season the amount of withdrawal I'd go through without the brothers is insane. I'm heavily invested in them but at least for now their arcs are at a place that can be paused

- they all got together to help Beel, a lot of Satan & Lucifer's + Belphie & Diavolo's issues have been resolved. I do want to know more about Lucifer's fear though and how he met the rest of the brothers (since they already told us Beel's story)

- With what they've said I kinda see Michael & Raphael being parallels to Diavolo & Lucifer, respectively. The somewhat childish boss and the long suffering right hand. I can see Diavolo wanting to like Michael purely because he wants to make proper peace with the Celestial Realm but also being somewhat internally pissed with him given how protective Diavolo is of the brothers and I can see Michael being sweet and friendly in return despite the fact that given everything Michael has said about demons, even in current times, he would probably be looking down on Diavolo for being 'wicked' and 'evil'. Basically I imagine them having the same kinda passive-aggressively polite relationship that Diavolo and Simeon had in S2 but somehow even less friendly

- Yes!!! Like I said the Celestial Realm gives heavy morally grey vibes and I want that to be explored more. I also need Luke's realisation that the Celestial Realm isn't always right to continue

- I have SO many Lilith HCs and I desperately need them to talk about her more. Like I understand why she's a sore topic and that Lucifer never even told them about her room in the HoL depite the fact that they've probably lived there for thousands of years and she does get brought up a bit in Belphie's fear but I need more. I also want them to explore why Belphie was so insistent with blaming the humans for Lilith's death when it was the angels that killed her, I gave my theories behind it in one of the summaries but I really need more solid answers

- I've always wanted more girls (or any girls really) and the way I was disappointed that we never got to see Lilith (I mean I understand that some players would HC her to look like their MC even though she died thousands of years before MC and they probably wouldn't share a resemblance but still) but I never considered Solomon's apprentice was a girl and I dunno why.. OKAY BUT CONSIDER GIRLS AS NEW LIS!!!!!

- I definitely think they would, it would make no sense if they didn't after how much they were hyped up and I might actually scream if they don't get designs. That being said I have very clear ideas of them in my head and I'm gonna hate having to part with them

[mittensmorgul]

Hi, I have a question, and I hope it would be interesting for you too... Could we talk about angel's wings and feathers?..

I always thought that angel's wings were a part of their true form, a kind of energy which we can only see as a shadows or electric sparks or ash or something like this.

And I didn't think that it could be a real wings with feathers as bird's. Until, while rewatch, I've noticed that angel's feather were mentioned in SPN at least twice (maybe you've noticed more?):

1) In 8.12 when Henry Winchester time travels he uses an angel feather in spell. And then Dean tells that Henry stole an angel feather from the trunk of the Impala. So feathers are reall??? Why did the Winchestets keep the feather in the trunk of the Impala and where they get it? (ok, maybe they found it in the bunker)

2) In 12.13 Sam uses a white feather in spell returning Gavin back in time (we know this spell needs an angel feather)

So now we can see how the real angel feather looks like???

Does that mean that the angel's wings can be presented in physical world like a real wings with feathers and this is not fanfiction? I like this idea so much.

I think that the creators of the show didn't let us to see it, as many other great things, that is sad...

I would really like to know your thoughts about this.

(Sorry for my bad english, it is not my native language...)

Hi there! First off, your English is fine! (lol it’s my native language, and I just typed it “Inglish” by accident, so you’re already doing better than I am :’D)

ETA: DON’T REBLOGGY THIS YET. I forgotted something that @thayerkerbasy just reminded me of, and I’m editing this post... brb... okay NOW YOU CAN REBLOGGY!)

As far as I know, those are the only times in canon we ever see or hear mention of an angel feather, and both times it’s for the same exact spell. They reference that it’s Henry’s spell when they use it again in 12.13, but make no mention in dialogue of it being an angel feather. Yet Sam had a whole jar of fluffy little pin feathers, so the assumption is that they’d been collecting them for a while (unless those were either found in the Men of Letters’ spell ingredient stockpile when they moved into the bunker, or otherwise given to them by Cas at some point).

It’s weird, because they seem like a very limited commodity, especially after the angels fell and their wings all burned up. Even after Cas got his original grace back, his wings never seemingly recovered. When we did finally see his wing prints in 12.23, they were still... not healthy... So my thinking is that any spell that would require them will become impossible to cast when their current supply runs out. All the other angels-- at the end of the series-- were either dead or locked in Heaven with their broken wings. We never learned any of their fates. Maybe they were all rendered obsolete under the Heaven Remodel?

A little behind the scenes from the early days of SPN as a bonus, since it’s tangentially relevant:

When they were filming the very early episodes of SPN, they had a lot of choices to make about what to show us based on what their budget would allow them to portray. Think of an episode like Wendigo, 1.02. One thing I see people say often was that it was a shame we didn’t see more of the monster, but only saw like... bushes shaking, or a vague form moving through the underbrush, or a blur. They made a stylistic choice right there to keep it within budget.

The options they faced were showing us a “dude in a rubber mask” type monster and showing it more, versus one really terrifying shot of a Proper Monster™ dying in spectacular fashion. Rather than go full-on cheesemonster, they chose to leave most of it up to our imaginations, giving us glimpses or hints of the monster.

They went back and forth on this a bit over the years, attempting to show us more on occasion, but most of those times the audience reaction has been varying degrees of wtf... Think about some of the scenes where they attempted to give us more than a glimpse at the supernatural, or a blood splatter, or whatever. It didn’t always work well. Think: the wire fight from 13.23...

I mean, it took us until 11.14 to ever see an angel “flap away,” when we saw Casifer zap Dean off the exploding submarine.

For the most part, I appreciate the fact that they understood the limitations of their own budget and didn’t give angels cheap little wings just to be able to show them on camera. Over time, only being able to see them as shadows, or as char after the angel died, became part of the lore of the show.

I blame Adam Glass for writing that spell, because he probably thought it sounded cool or whatever, that it was effectively a throwaway line because no other spell they’ve ever used has required an angel feather as an ingredient, and in story it was only linked into this larger Men of Letters Legacy plot that in retrospect feels like Chuck tying up loose ends and putting previously “deactivated” plotlines back into play.

I do find it kind of interesting that both iterations of this spell (the second resurrected by Bucklemming) were both tied to Abaddon. Henry’s spell in 8.12 brought her into the story from the past, she eventually travelled to the much further distant past to bring Gavin into the present (presumably with her own power alone, no angel feather required), and then after she was killed, they used the spell to return Gavin to his own time. So in a a way, the spell was part of a closed narrative loop, never to be referred to again.

Kinda wild that we’d never heard of angel feathers being a thing for spells until we learn that Dean apparently had some just stashed in the trunk, though... :’D

As for how corporeal angel feathers are/were, they exist in the earthly plane enough to leave char marks when they burn, when an angel is killed, so they must always have had the potential to manifest physically. I can’t imagine they ever would’ve had a budget to show us anything more than what we usually saw, though. It did give them a LOT of flexibility over how exactly they presented them to us when they DID show us. And I can’t even imagine the suffering Misha would’ve endured as an actor spending all those years wearing some weird wing harness rig. It would’ve been... impractical. And the CGI the show could’ve afforded-- especially in earlier days-- would’ve been... bad...

But what they were able to show us? Was often awesome. Remember when Raphael showed off his wings in 5.03? LIGHTNING!

And when we finally did see actual corporeal-appearing wings in 8.23... it was Dramatique™

And for More CGI Is Sometimes A Bad Thing Science, please have the attempt at Michael’s “true form” from 14.01:

It’s kinda a super-letdown after AU!Michael’s previous shadow wing displays from 13.01, but more specifically from 13.22:

those... were... badass... 

Even the pre-wire-fight wing shadows on Dean were badass:

But if they’d tried to show us more of them, to make them move through action scenes for example, it would’ve been... bad...

So what we’re left with is the knowledge that there is some sort of corporeal element to wings that we simply can’t see most of the time, but clearly angels have the ability to show or hide them at will, even from other angels. Could it be an act of will on the part of the angel that manifests a bit of their grace in the form of a physical feather? Honestly, that’s the theory I’ve personally adopted toward canon. In fanfic, I’ve read tons of various headcanons about what angel wings are and how they function-- everything from “a manifestation of their true form” to “angels share a lot of traits with birds” to “an extension of their grace,” and everything in between.

I personally, in canon, like to think of it as akin to how they’ve used angel grace for other spells. I mean, when we recall that angels haven’t been on Earth much for the last few thousand years (aside from at least a couple of known incidents where angels interfered with humanity, like Ishim and Company in 12.10, for example, and the presumptive extension that the Men of Letters knew of the existence of angels and likely summoned one up a time or two the same way Lily Sunder had, giving one explanation for how Henry Winchester knew of this spell and had an angel feather to use for it, but also recontextualized when Lily Sunder taught us that humans can use their own souls to power spells in the same way angels used their grace... which sort of makes the notion of needing an angel feather AND his own soul to charge that particular spell in 8.12 a bit redundant unless Lily’s knowledge of angelic magic was more advanced than Henry’s... hrmpf.... so much tangent... back to the point)...

We did eventually learn of other spells that required an angel’s actual grace, not concentrated in the form of a feather. The Angel Fall Spell in 8.23 being the prime example. Metatron took ALL of Cas’s grace for that one, even if he didn’t use all of it for the spell and left a “fragment” (Metatron described it as “not a lot, but enough.”). 

ETA: HECK. I have 9.03 on the tv right now and it’s distractedly made me disgusted enough to have forgotten something that Thayer just reminded me of: Lucifer’s “fossilized feather” in 12.07. It held enough grace to restore and heal him after Rowena’s spell in 12.03 had degraded him. Which really only adds to the theory that “feathers” are simply bits of grace that have been rendered solid somehow, but that can be transformed back into grace as needed.

And then there was the Rift Spell for travelling to alternate universes that required archangel grace, as well as the time travel/ward breaking spell that Sam found in 11.14 that ALSO required archangel grace specifically. Would these spells have worked with an archangel “feather?” Possibly, if material feathers are somehow just crystalized bits of grace, but since we never got a full explanation in canon, and never even really saw corporeal feathery wings that dropped feathers or could be plucked, and never even had mention of corporeal feathers outside of their use in this single spell, it’s really up to our own interpretation. And I kind of like it that way, because that way we get to have fun little discussions like this one. :D

I know this isn’t a definitive answer, but it’s how it all makes sense to me, in the hand-wavey sort of way that all of canon works. :’D

[well-shit-im-a-morosexual-now]

I don't have much to say about the rest of the S3 lessons, but I do have things to say about S4 of Obey Me.

Personally, I think that S4 should focus primarily on the angels (Simeon, Luke, Michael, Raphael, etc.), feature the side characters (Solomon, Barbatos, Diavolo), possibly introduce Solomon's first apprentice and maybe in Hard Mode you can check up on the brothers (you should know who the HOL brothers are).

I have a few reasons for this (in no real order :):

Reading the lesson summaries that you (and others) have provided, it seems like Mike and Raph- along with the Celestial Realm- will be important this season. So, wouldn't be a waste not to show them off?

The side characters need development. This is a perfect opportunity for some.

Simeon and Luke were standing for a longer period than the brothers, so it would make sense for them to show up again.

Simeon was talking to some angel (probably Raphael) at the end of S3. The game should obviously expand on that.

*Diavolo runs a hotel chain in the Human World, so it would make sense to see him again. And because Barbatos follows right behind him...

Solomon's first apprentice needs to be explored. What happened between them?

*The brothers should take a back seat in this season, since they're always there. No offense to them, but I need a break.

New character interactions is would be fun. To me, the best character interaction would be between Dia & Mike. Would they hate each other because of Lucifer? Would they get along? These are the questions that keep me up at night.

It could show off/expand upon the Celestial Realm, a chance for more lore and theories.

It could finally give insight into Simeon's past- which is always a good thing. (Same for everyone else.)

Now that the list is out of the way, here are some miscellaneous things that I couldn't fit on the list (also an clarification for 5 & 7. They explanations will also have an asterix at the beginning of them:):

*I don't expect Diavolo and Barbatos to show up that often, but I think that they should appear in at least 1-2 chapters.

*I also don't mind the brothers showing up, but I am worried that if they appear prominently, they might over take the season.

I kinda want the Lillith plotline/point to come back. I definitely wish it was executed better, but I do want to see the reaction from the angels (Mike and Raph basically).

I hope Solomon's apprentice was a girl. There's just too many guys here, we need a little diversity.

I would hate it if they didn't give us character designs for Michael and Raphael, though I would find it funny.

Well, I think I'm done for now. Do you agree, disagree? Do you like the color coding, should I keep doing it? Basically, I just want your thoughts on this.

Goodbye for now,

Lesson 42 Anon

Hii!!! I basically agree with everything you just said but I'll go into more detail on it with your points:

- I do 100% believe S4 should be a new character/angel focused season. I think I said so in the lesson 60 summary too that it'd make sense and be interesting to meet the angels and get their side of the story without the brothers' interference (the angels give me HEAVY morally grey characters who think they're wholly in the right vibes and I love it) + there's still a lot of Simeon and Solomon backstory to explore!

- The way S3 ended and how much of it was anyway about the angels I definitely think S4 will expand on it and introduce them

- And I think it'll possibly start right after S3 ends? I mean Raphael's here now and Solomon wants to start properly training MC so why not. And there's no other reason to leave Simeon and Luke behind than to start it up with them in the centre

- ALSO!!! ANDISJSHSKS "RAPH" given what they've showed of him he seems like the type of person to take HEAVY offense to that

- S3 did end with Raphael. Simeon called him by name.

- As much as I do want to see more Diavolo and find out more about his and more importantly Barbatos' backstories I don't think they'll turn up much? Or at least not until the last few lessons cause he left saying he had important personal issues to take care of back in the devildom

- I genuinely thought they would be shown in S3 after Solomon mentioned them and yeah damn I wanna know more about them. Also I just saw the Solomon UR+ animation card from months ago today - I definitely want to know whose grave he was leaving flowers at

- As much as I want an angel focused season the amount of withdrawal I'd go through without the brothers is insane. I'm heavily invested in them but at least for now their arcs are at a place that can be paused - they all got together to help Beel, a lot of Satan & Lucifer's + Belphie & Diavolo's issues have been resolved. I do want to know more about Lucifer's fear though and how he met the rest of the brothers (since they already told us Beel's story)

- With what they've said I kinda see Michael & Raphael being parallels to Diavolo & Lucifer, respectively. The somewhat childish boss and the long suffering right hand. I can see Diavolo wanting to like Michael purely because he wants to make proper peace with the Celestial Realm but also being somewhat internally pissed with him given how protective Diavolo is of the brothers and I can see Michael being sweet and friendly in return despite the fact that given everything Michael has said about demons, even in current times, he would probably be looking down on Diavolo for being 'wicked' and 'evil'. Basically I imagine them having the same kinda passive-aggressively polite relationship that Diavolo and Simeon had in S2 but somehow even less friendly

- Yes!!! Like I said the Celestial Realm gives heavy morally grey vibes and I want that to be explored more. I also need Luke's realisation that the Celestial Realm isn't always right to continue

- I have SO many Lilith HCs and I desperately need them to talk about her more. Like I understand why she's a sore topic and that Lucifer never even told them about her room in the HoL depite the fact that they've probably lived there for thousands of years and she does get brought up a bit in Belphie's fear but I need more. I also want them to explore why Belphie was so insistent with blaming the humans for Lilith's death when it was the angels that killed her, I gave my theories behind it in one of the summaries but I really need more solid answers

- I've always wanted more girls (or any girls really) and the way I was disappointed that we never got to see Lilith (I mean I understand that some players would HC her to look like their MC even though she died thousands of years before MC and they probably wouldn't share a resemblance but still) but I never considered Solomon's apprentice was a girl and I dunno why.. OKAY BUT CONSIDER GIRLS AS NEW LIS!!!!!

- I definitely think they would, it would make no sense if they didn't after how much they were hyped up and I might actually scream if they don't get designs. That being said I have very clear ideas of them in my head and I'm gonna hate having to part with them

DO NOT GET RID OF THE COLOUR CODING! IT'S PART OF YOUR IDENTITY NOW! OWN IT!

[drop-of-infinity]

No one asked for this but I continued my Destiel fic! This part is canon compliant with season 5.

Chapter one is here

<><><><><><><><><>

Chapter 2: Season 5

Sympathy for the Devil

{“I learned that from my friend Cas you son of a bitch.” It feels good to say, both the statement and the insult. It feels like a promise, a promise that Dean will get Cas back because he is his friend. Friends with a literal angel he thinks, and his lips twitch. They’ll get him back.

{“Put these boys back together and go. I won’t ask twice.” Dean feels more relief then he thought he would, the kind that takes the air out of your lungs and makes your knees weak. Cas is here and alive and safe and he just saved them, and maybe things will be okay.

{Cas knows he has a purpose. God him back, and that makes him feel like it’s okay to listen to his heart. God brought him back, so it’s okay to threaten Zacharia. God brought him back, so he’s allowed to save Dean, and he’s allowed to want to save Dean, and to want to keep him safe. God brought him back, so he’s allowed to want. Right?

Good God

{“I rebelled and I did it, all of it, for you.” It’s true, and Cas knows it as he says it. Some part of him thinks maybe he shouldn’t have said it though, because the way Dean is looking at him implies that he didn’t know that.

{All of it for me? Dean rolls the words around in his head, over and over. I did it, all of it, for you. Cas had been angry when he said it, but that doesn’t stop the warmth creeping across Dean’s chest at the thought.

Free to be you and me

{“I need your help because you are the only one who will help me.” Dean can’t say no after that. Cas rebelled for him after all, he’s all the angel’s got. I guess we’re going to capture an archangel.

{“When humans want something really really bad, we lie.” Dean straightens Cas’s tie as he talks, and Cas fights to ignore the lingering warmth from his fingers. They figure out where Raphael is, and Cas can’t help but think that if this is his last night on Earth, at least he gets to spend it with a friend.

{“I’ve never had the occasion!” Cas realizes with horror that his face is warm. Angels do NOT get embarrassed. Dean keeps talking about women and- other things, and Cas glances at his mouth as he talks. He looks away again immediately, heart pounding in his chest. What is wrong with me?

{“There are two things I know. One, Bert and Ernie are gay and two, you’re not gonna die a virgin. Not on my watch.” Dean winces slightly. That might not have been the best way to phrase that, but hey. Cas deserves to have fun once in his life, and Dean is going to make sure he does.

{“Come on.” They run out of the building and sit in the Impala. Dean can’t help it, he starts laughing. Cas’s face when that girl had yelled at him- he glances over to see the angel wearing a similarly confused look and laughs harder.

{“It’s been a long time since I laughed this hard.” Cas stares at Dean’s smile, and revels in the fact that he’s the one who put it there.

{“Who cares what some ninja turtle says Cas. What do you believe?”

“I believe he’s out there.”

“Then let’s go find him.” Cas looks at Dean and realizes he’s serious. Dean isn’t giving up. Of course he isn’t. He never does. Despite what just happened, Cas smiles. He’s not alone in this mess.

{“I’ve had more fun with you in the last 24 hours then I’ve had with Sam in years.” Dean isn’t sure that’s fair to say, but he says it all the same. This feels fundamentally different then the fun he has with Sam. This feels almost giddy.

The End

{“What happened to you?”

“Life.” Dean stares at the man in front of him, who is Cas but so obviously not. Cas, but... not my Cas.

{“Good timing.”

“We had an appointment.” This Cas he knows, and the angel’s tiny smile lit with the glow of street signs makes his heart speed up, just a little. Dean doesn’t notice. He’s preoccupied with assuring himself that this is his time, that Sam is alive and Cas is here.

{“Don’t ever change.” Cas is taken aback by this... affection? By this request. He looks into Dean’s eyes -green like the first time I saw grass. I was so amazed that anything like that existed. Heaven is all blue and white- and wonders how he’ll manage that when he has been changed so much already.

Episodes 13-16

{“I’m.. fine.” Cas collapses against Sam and Dean. As he loses consciousness, he wonders why he’ll go against his better judgement in two seconds when Dean asks. A small, hidden part of him -one that is only heard in the brief interval between being awake and dead to the world- whispers that he knows the answer already.

{“He’s tough for a little nerdy dude with wings.” Dean hides the depth of his worry. They have other problems. Cas will be okay, he’s always okay.

{“I’m there now.”

“Yeah I get that.”

“I’m going to hang up now.” Dean’s field of view is completely covered by bright blue eyes. Personal space he thinks distantly. He decides Cas’s sudden appearance is to blame for his heart speeding up. He must have been startled, that’s all.

{“I’m dead.”

“Condolences.” Dean almost laughs. Well, at least he’s not completely alone in this mess.

17-18

{“You should probably just down the whole bottle.” Dean is trying to reassure him. Cas can see it. He’s talking gently and he’s being kind and his eyes and voice are soft. It’s strange that it works. Angels aren’t supposed to feel his mind whispers. I think we’re well past that his heart replies.

{“When I picture myself happy, it’s here. You and the kid.” Lisa stares at Dean. It’s true he thinks. It FELT true to say. Unbidden, an image comes to his mind. Cas, standing under the glow of a neon sign after saving him from Zacharia, a secret smile on his face like it was a joke only they understood. Dean pushes the image away. He has the freaking apocalypse to worry about.

{“Cas not for nothing, but the last person who looked at me like that, I got laid.” Dean winks, and Cas has bigger things to worry about, but he wonders why human vessels are so easily flustered.

{“I gave everything for you, and this is what you give to me?” Cas has that feeling he gets sometimes that means what I just said was true but I maybe shouldn’t have said it. He learned emotions from Sam and Dean for the most part. He wondered where he’d picked up on this one.

Two Minutes to Midnight

{Cas figured out he was human pretty soon after he woke up in a hospital bed. The biggest difference, he found, were the depths of emotions. Angels aren’t supposed to feel, so Cas’s feelings usually seemed like cracks in the pavement. People were commanded by emotions, so his feelings now seemed like tidal waves. He was drowning. He was more scared then he’d ever been, not because of the apocalypse but because he was alone in a strange city. On top of that he... he missed Dean. He missed him with a fierceness, an ache in his chest that made it hard to breathe. When he hears Dean’s voice on the other end of the phone line, something warm blooms in his chest. It’s rather alarming.

{“You are not the burnt and broken shell of a man I believed you to be.” Dean’s relief that Cas is alive allows him to find that statement funny instead of insulting. He���s okay. He’s okay he’s okay.

{When Dean hangs up and Cas is left alone again, he feels his eyes sting. Castiel cries for the first time in his existence not because he is a human, but because he misses one.

Swan Song

{Sam has been taken by Lucifer, and everyone has given up except Dean. Fine he thinks, although he knows it isn’t. I’ll do it by myself, but he knows he can’t. Cas suggesting getting drunk instead of trying to stop the apocalypse takes Dean back-forwards? To 2014. I asked you not to change he thinks bitterly as he drives away.

{“Hey, assbutt!” Cas can’t believe what he’s doing even as he does it, but he knows he would do it a million times to keep Dean safe. And as Lucifer blows him into pieces, he has no regrets.

{“Cas?” Sam is gone, and Lucifer is gone, and Michael is gone, and Cas... is here? Dean tries to process this as Cas gently lays two fingers on his forehead and heals him. Dean leans forward a little bit, too tired to stop himself from chasing the touch.

{“What would you rather have, peace or freedom?”

“You really suck at goodbyes you know that?” Dean knocks on the door and finds Lisa, because he loves her and Sam asked him to. Once again, he ignores the mental picture of Cas with a half smile standing under a street sign. He feels uncomfortably grounded.

{As Cas goes back to heaven, he wonders why his emotions aren’t as muted as they were before. Maybe being human changed him somehow. As he flies back towards being a good little soldier, he can’t help glancing longingly down.

But there are other things to worry about, and neither of them have time to yearn for things just out of reach.

[queen-of-deans-booty]

Changing Channels: Final Part

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Word Count: 1,876

Warnings: typical supernatural violence, language, angst, blood, you know the usual

Author’s Note: I am so sorry this is out late. I’ve been dealing with shit the past few days.

I do not own anything from Supernatural. All credit goes to their respective owners. Any and all comments on these are appreciated. I really want to hear what you guys think about this one!

Feedback is the glue that holds my writing together.

Tags at the bottom

When the morning came, Dean wanted nothing more than to get out of this town. Sam was nowhere to be found which was odd, but you didn’t say anything of it until Dean started to notice. When he was finished brushing his teeth, he spit out the rest of what was in his mouth.

“I'm worried, man. What that SOB did to Cas. You know, where is he?”

“Sam isn’t in here,” you called out from bed.

“Where the hell is he?”

“I don’t know. I woke up and he wasn’t here. His bed wasn’t even slept in,” you frowned.

Dean shrugged on his jacket before pulling out his cell phone. He grabbed his keys, and you both walked to the car as Dean called his brother.

“Sam. It's me. Where the hell did you go?” Dean left a message just as you two got in the car.

“Dean? Y/N?” Sam said, his voice a bit strange.

“Where the hell are you?” you asked since he clearly wasn’t in the car.

“I don’t know,” he said.

Noticing the flashing red light on the dashboard, it lit up in time with Sam’s words.

“Shit,” you sighed.

“Oh shit. I don't think we killed the Trickster.”

“Is it too early for an ‘I told you so’?” you asked, crossing your arms.

“Save it,” Sam sighed.

Dean put the car in drive and peeled out of the parking lot and down the road.

“Okay, stake didn't work. So, what, this is another trick?” Dean asked.

“I don’t think it’s a Trickster,” you announced.

“What do you mean?” Dean wondered.

“Don’t you find it kind of weird that he’s so invested in this Michael/Lucifer/Amara storyline? He’s so obsessed with us saying yes, it’s getting suspicious. Did you know that there are currently and only has been four archangels? Michael, Lucifer, Raphael, and—”

“Gabriel,” Dean finished for you.

“Yeah. We know who Michael and Lucifer are. Dean and I met Raphael when Castiel needed him. That leaves Gabriel left. This isn’t a Trickster. He’s an angel, and he’s hiding. And I know just how to get him to admit it,” you grinned, looking at Dean with a mischievous look.

“For once, I like that look in your eyes,” Dean smirked.

Dean drove to the spot where it would be perfect to do your little experiment. If you were right about this, then you get to go home—your real home. If you were wrong about this—and you knew you weren’t—then this really was a Trickster, and you’d need to find another way home. After retrieving the holy oil, you made sure to leave a big enough circle that if Gabriel does show, then he would land in it. Once that was complete, then Dean rummaged through the Impala’s trunk to hide the container of holy oil.

“Dean?”

“What?”

“That, uh, feels really uncomfortable,” Sam cleared his throat. Dean slammed the trunk of the car down hard. “Ow. You sure this is gonna work?”

“No, but we have no other ideas,” he sighed, looking to the sky as if Gabriel could see you three that way. “Alright, you son of a bitch! Uncle! We'll do it!”

“Should I honk?”

“Wow. Sam. Get a load of the rims on you,” Gabriel appeared right in the spot you needed him.

“Eat me.”

“Okay, lady and gentlemen. Ready to go quietly?”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, not so fast. Nobody's going anywhere until Sam has opposable thumbs.”

“What's the difference? Satan's going to ride his ass one way or another.”

“Now,” you glared.

Gabriel rolled his eyes but snapped his fingers. The lights go off in the car, and Sam stepped out of it with narrowed eyes.

“Happy?”

“Tell me one thing. Why didn't the stake kill you?” you asked.

“I am the Trickster,” he chuckled.

“No, you’re not,” you smirked, holding up a flaming cigarette lighter and tossed it to the ground. A ring of fire springs up around the archangel right where you laid the oil out. He looked all around himself before laughing. “You’re an archangel.”

“A what? Somebody slip a mickey in your power shake, kid?”

“Fine, then why don’t you jump out of the holy fire, and we’ll call it our mistake… Gabriel, the youngest of the four. I wonder what your big brothers would think if they saw you here. They do know you’re here, right?” you chuckled, raising an eyebrow in challenge.

Gabriel laughed, but stopped once he knew he’d been caught. The surrounding areas vanished in a burst of static, only to be replaced by the inside of the warehouse you approached days ago.

“Well played, Y/N and Co. Well played. Where'd you get the holy oil?” Gabriel clapped.

“Well, you might say we pulled it out of Sam's ass,” Dean chuckled.

“Where'd I screw up?”

“You didn’t. I wouldn’t have figured it out if it weren’t for Castiel. Ever since I first met you, I knew there was something about you that just didn’t add up. Plus, it was mostly the way you talked about Armageddon.”

“Meaning?”

“Well, call it personal experience, but nobody gets that angry unless they're talking about their own family,” Dean explained.

“So, Gabriel, how does an archangel become a trickster?” you asked.

“My own private witness protection. I skipped out of heaven, had a face transplant, and carved out my own little corner of the world. Till you three screwed it all up.”

“What did Daddy say when you ran off and joined the pagans?” Dean asked.

“Daddy doesn't say anything about anything.”

“So why ditch your family?” you asked.

“Do you blame him? I mean, his brothers are heavyweight douchenozzles,” Dean smirked.

“Shut your cakehole. You don't know anything about my family. I love my father and my brothers. Love them. But watching them turn on each other? Tear at each other's throats? I couldn't bear it! Okay? So, I left. And now it's happening all over again.”

“Then help us stop it.”

“It can’t be stopped.”

“You wanna see the end of the world?”

“I want it to be over! I have to sit back and watch my own brothers kill each other thanks to you three! Heaven, hell, I don't care who wins, I just want it to be over.”

“That’s no way to think. Where there’s a will, there’s a way,” you nodded.

“You do not know my family,” Gabriel laughed. “What you guys call the apocalypse, I used to call Sunday dinner. That's why there's no stopping this, because this isn't about a war. It's about two brothers that loved each other and betrayed each other. A fight against a force that comes out of nowhere, and acts as if they know and rule everything. You'd think you'd be able to relate.”

“What are you talking about?” you asked.

“You sorry sons of bitches. Why do you think you three are the vessels? Think about it. Michael, the big brother, loyal to an absent father. Lucifer, the little brother, rebellious of Daddy's plan. Amara, the surrogate mother who invades and latches on like a leech. Why do you think she’s in prison right now? You three were born to this. It's your destiny! It was always you! As it is in heaven, so it must be on earth. One brother has to kill the other.”

“What the hell are you saying?” Dean glared.

“Why do you think I've always taken such an interest in you? Because from the moment Dad flipped on the lights around here, we knew it was all gonna end with you. Always.”

“No, there is no way in hell that’s happening. I won’t allow it,” you shrugged.

“And therein lies your similarities. See, Amara was just like you. Strong, powerful, and protective. Then she stopped caring and it all went to shit,” he groaned after pausing. “Guys. I wish this were a TV show. Easy answers and endings wrapped up in a bow... but this is real, and it's gonna end bloody for all of us. That's just how it's gotta be.”

“No,” you whispered painfully.

The four of you stared at each other for a long time before Gabriel spoke up about it.

“Now what? We stare at each other for the rest of eternity?”

“No, you’re going to bring Castiel back from wherever you stashed him,” you glared.

“Oh, am I?”

“Yeah, you are. I wasn’t pissed before, but I will be. You don’t want to see that,” you crossed your arms with the promise of your blue magic.

Gabriel groaned, but he snapped his fingers to bring your angelic friend back. Castiel appeared next to you three, and you placed a hand on his arm in comfort.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. Hello, Gabriel.”

“Hey, bro. How's the search for Daddy going? Let me guess. Awful.”

“Okay, we’re done here. Come on, Sam and Y/N,” Dean decided, turning and walking to one of the doors.

“Uh. Okay. Guys? So, what? Huh?” Gabriel stuttered as everyone began walking away from him. “You're just gonna, you're gonna leave me here forever?”

“No, we’re not,” you stopped by the door and turned to the archangel. Sam and Dean were already out of the door along with Castiel, but they stayed close to hear what you had to say. “We don't screw with people the way you do. And for the record? This isn't about some prize fight between your brothers or some destiny that can't be stopped. This is about you being too afraid to stand up to your family.”

Lifting your arm, you swept your hand from your left side of your body to your right, the flames dying down in motion of your arm. Your magic was able to extinguish the flames on their own.

“Don’t say I never did anything for you,” you scoffed as the archangel glared.

Sam, Dean, and Castiel left, and you were about to follow when Gabriel stopped.

“I saw her. Amara. I don’t know what she’s doing to you or how she’s communicating with you, but don’t trust a word she says. She’s evil and manipulative and stubborn. Most importantly, she’s real because I’m the one that helped put her away. If you say yes to her, she will destroy everything good about you and then the world.”

“Like Michael and Lucifer?” you asked. “Don’t worry about me. I don’t need someone like you to look over my shoulder. I have family for that.”

Leaving the warehouse, you joined Sam and Dean at the car where they were discussing what happened.

“All that stuff he was spouting in there, you think it was the truth?”

“I think he believes it,” you commented.

“What do we do now?” Dean asked.

“Live our lives the way we want to. I don’t believe in destiny because if I did, I’d at least hope there was something better for us out there. We make our own rules, and the angels are going to regret it if they think they can try and dictate our lives,” you announced, turning to Castiel after. “No offense.”

“None taken.”

“Right about now I wish I was back in a TV show,” Dean huffed, sliding into the car.

“Yeah, me too.”

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[ourloveisforthelovely]

Rocking the Boat 16

Supernatural 

Chapter 15 link 

Words: 2,467

Pairings: Gabriel x Reader/Dean x Cas 

______

Dean watched your storm down the hallway with a shrug. He sat down and took a sip of the beer that he had brought with him from the kitchen. 

“Gotta love those hormones.” 

He muttered. Dean let himself think back when your mother was pregnant with you and shivered. That was not a fun time in his nor anyone else that lived in the bunker's lives.

“Haha, no one loves those.”

Dean added with a chuckle as Gabriel walked in. It took all Dean had not to laugh at the slightly nervous expression on Gabriel’s face. Heaven’s most deadly weapon was scared to death of his pregnant girlfriend! This was the most amusing thing that Dean had seen in some time! 

“Did you talk to her?”

Gabriel asked. The last thing that he really wanted to do was to tell you that he was going to be out of town for a bit. Since you had found out about your condition you had been a basket of hormones that Gabriel couldn’t even help. He rolled his eyes at the thought himself. Gabriel wouldn’t admit it (possibly out of fear of you stabbing him) but he wasn’t looking forward to this whole baby thing. This wasn’t supposed to happen to him. Lucifer was the one that ran off and fucked that whole angels aren’t supposed to have children concept up. Now Chuck wanted to make Gabriel’s life hell too! 

The thought of Chuck made Gabriel’s blood boil! Just because Chuck was bat shit crazy didn’t mean that everyone else wanted to go down crazy train drive with him! 

Dean leaned back on the couch with a shrug. 

“Yeah, she kind of screamed at me. Told me to tell you to find yourself a better attorney. Sorry dude. She’s pissed. I tried.” 

Gabriel groaned as Dean took another sip of his beer. Dean didn’t seem the least bit upset about being screamed at either. He acted like nothing new had happened. 

  “Jeez thanks. I better go talk to her.”

Dean smiled as Gabriel walked out of the room muttering to himself. 

“Good luck to you! Good thing that you are an archangel. She can’t kill you that easily. If she does stab you, it's been nice knowing you pal!”

Meanwhile, 

You sat in your room typing away on your laptop. Ever since losing your shit on your father, you decided that it was time to chat with Jody. If someone could calm you down it was her! She knew everything to say at the worst of times. 

`The conversation was interrupted when Gabriel walked in. For a moment, you didn’t bother looking up. It was probably best that you didn’t say anything for a few moments. Gabriel was lucky that you hadn’t thrown the bedside lamp at him! You continued to message Jody until Gabriel snapped his fingers and turned the device off. You looked up with a frown. 

“What?”

Gabriel didn’t bat an eye at the venom oozing out of your mouth. He acted like it was just another day and that nothing big was happening. 

“I want to talk to you.”

You snorted. 

“About what? I figured that you would send my dad in. Oh wait, that went down in flames. Maybe Jack is the person to try. I won’t yell at him after all.” 

Gabriel waited a moment to speak. If you weren’t in a delicate state he probably would have said something totally snarky right back to you. 

“Y/n...look, I understand that you are mad because I’m leaving for a bit...I will be back. I wouldn’t leave if I didn’t have to...Cas...” 

Your frown intensified if possible. Your rational said that you weren’t mad because Gabriel was leaving. You were mad because he didn’t have the balls to tell you himself! Your irrational pregnancy hormone side said another thing. You were mad at him for leaving! You wanted him there with you. After all, he put you in this mess (with your help of course). He should want to be there with you too! 

Thankfully, you decided to go with the rational side….

“I am mad about that but I am more angry about the fact that you couldn’t tell me yourself.” 

Gabriel sighed. 

“Well, I didn’t want to have something thrown at me. Sorry sugar, but you are mean right now.” 

“I wonder why.”

You muttered coldly. Gabriel sighed again. You know that he was losing his patience with you which was odd. It normally took a lot for Gabriel to get mad at you. If he got mad, he typically took it out on someone else and blamed them for the problem. 

“Y/n, look, I am not thrilled about any of this either! I didn’t ask for Chuck to do this to us! Cas needs me too. I can’t let Cas just go out there all alone looking for someone that can make sense of this totally back shit weird situation.” 

Gabriel immediately regretted his choice of words when your face went from annoyed to depressed. 

“It's good to know how you feel about us having a baby.” 

Gabriel internally began to panic. He realized that he told you everything that he wanted to keep to himself! 

“Sugar, I….”

You held a hand up. 

“Just get away from me.” 

Gabriel didn’t move for a moment. His golden eyes were locked on you with an expression of total remorse. Normally, this would have gotten him off of the hook. This time, however, it wasn’t going to happen.

“Maybe I could get Lucifer or Michael to go with Cas. Raphael needs to stay here where we can keep an eye on him and he can keep an eye on you.” 

You stood up and went toward your bathroom. 

“Yes, let’s send Michael and his cozy socks to help Cas! That will make such wonderful sense! Just go, Gabriel. I don’t want to deal with you right now. If you don’t want to have this kid, don’t bother coming back. I don’t need you to do this. Stupid me, thought that you actually cared about me and the kid.” 

Gabriel began to tremble. This was his worst nightmare! 

“Y/n, I….”

“GET LOST!”

You snapped. Gabriel turned and walked from the room without another word. 

When he stepped out, he almost ran right into Sam and Dean. Gabriel frowned looking at the two with a displeased expression. 

“I guess you two heard all of that.” 

Sam nodded. 

“I’ll talk to her. It will be okay.”

Gabriel laughed bitterly. 

“Yeah, right.”

The following few months passed without much excitement. You still weren’t talking that much to Gabriel. He was still away and couldn’t give you any form of an idea when he would be back for good. As much as you wanted to play the tough gal and act like you didn’t care...you couldn't. 

When Gabriel would call to check on you it seemed to be the same conversation. He would always ask how you were feeling and if you needed anything. You would say a simple fine and no. If you needed anything there were plenty of people in the bunker that could do something for you. You knew that Sam and Dean were keeping Gabriel informed about all of the other things.  

Thankfully after month 6, the morning sickness began to fade away. This made you even happier and put you in a better mood. Raphael had been keeping a close watch on your condition and in turn, you were keeping an eye on him to make sure that he wasn’t up to any funny business. 

One morning you stood in the kitchen while Lucifer sat trying to bore you to death with a story about how great he was. Someone was always in whatever room you were in. You had a feeling that this was Gabriel’s doing. He probably set this up to drive you nuts. 

“Y/n, if you keep eating like that the kid is never going to want to leave.” 

Lucifer commented. You help up your middle finger earning a chuckle from the archangel. 

“I do enjoy your sense of humor. I am also thankful that we aren’t having a kid together. Whatever you said to Gabriel scared him to death.” 

You put down the knife that you were holding and turned to face Lucifer. That was one of the last things that you wanted to hear! 

“He chose to leave. I had nothing to do with it. Now, why don’t you shut your trap and help me wash dishes or something.” 

Lucifer shrugged and picked up a dishtowel. After a  few moments of silence, he looked over at you. Lucifer normally didn’t feel sorry for people. In fact, he claimed that he didn’t know how to but here you were causing him feelings! 

You didn’t ask for Gabriel to leave. It didn’t Lucifer being a supernatural being to know that! He read your mind several times and knew exactly what happened between Gabriel and yourself. 

“Hey, Y/n, I’m sorry...that was kind of a jerky thing to say. I know that you didn’t ask for my idiot brother to leave.” 

You looked up from the pan that you were trying to shove in a shelf but couldn’t reach. 

“Lucifer, I know you very well now. I didn’t take it personally.” 

Lucifer grinned.

“I am glad to see that you are starting to be your old self. I was making you cry about everything. For what it's worth, my brother is an idiot.” 

“That’s rude.” 

You froze hearing that voice! Both Lucifer and yourself turned to see Gabriel in the doorway with Dean and Cas behind him. Lucifer immediately laughed. This was the best possible outcome of the whole situation to him. 

“Hey the idiot decided to come home! I am glad to see that you remembered where this place was. I was about to send out a possy. We thought you may have gotten lost again.” 

Lucifer was clearly pleased with his comment. Gabriel glared at his brother for a moment before focusing his attention on you. You weren’t smiling or looking the least bit happy to see him. In fact, you looked like you didn’t give a good god damn about anything. Gabriel sighed. This wasn’t you. You were always happy when he was in a room. In the beginning, when the two of you were apart for however long, you were in his arms the moment that you were together again. 

Gabriel knew that you were really mad at him! He really fucked up! Gabriel never meant to stay away as long as he had but things happened. Things that he and Cas never expected. Now he missed most of your pregnancy. With each and every day that passed, Gabriel knew that coming home would be harder. 

You, meanwhile, tried to keep your eyes from drifting to your boyfriend. Gabriel was looking at you with those poor pathetic “please love me” eyes that broke your heart. Today, however, he wasn’t getting away so easily. 

Your brooding was interrupted by a sharp pain shooting through your body. With a whimper, you gripped the edge of the counter. 

“Honey?”

He said nervously. You held a hand up waving him off while waiting for the sharp pain to edge off. After a moment, you were able to stand back up. Lucifer was glancing over his shoulder at you. 

“You good?”

He asked. You nodded. 

“I’m fine.” 

Lucifer shrugged and went to leave the kitchen. He stopped once he was behind Gabriel and shoved him to you.  

Gabriel glared back at his brother and muttered “asshole” before turning his attention back to you. 

“Hi sweetheart.” 

It didn’t matter how mad at Gabriel you may have been; you still missed him. You had missed him more than words could possibly say! 

“Hey.” 

You stood quietly for a moment before wrapping your arms around his shoulders. Gabriel was afraid that you were going to smack him or something for a moment. He relaxed when your face nuzzled against his neck 

“Damn, I have missed you.” 

Gabriel said softly before tilting your face to his. He kissed you softly for a moment before deepening the kiss. 

You were the first to pull away. Gabriel's arms were still locked around you almost as if he was going to lose you forever. 

“I’ve missed you too.” 

You replied. This time you meant it! You had missed him! It was time to put away your tough girl act. 

“How are you feeling?” 

Gabriel asked tentatively. You sighed miserably. 

“I’m fine, I guess.” 

Gabriel shook his head. 

“Tell me the truth.” 

You were silent for a moment before speaking. 

“I feel horrible. I am so sick of being pregnant. My back hurts, my feet hurt, I have parts of me that I didn’t know existed hurt. LUCIFER, stop fucking breathing down the back of my neck, you pervert!” 

Lucifer frowned from his place at the table. 

“I am over here, thank you. If it's any consolation, we are all sick of you being pregnant too.” 

Gabriel looked at his brother with a clearly displeased expression. 

“Lucifer, leave.” 

Lucifer stood with a shrug and walked out of the room without further comment. Gabriel turned his attention back to you. Your face had resumed that expression on pain from a moment or two before. 

“Sugar, should we be worried?”

You wrapped your hands around Gabriel’s upper arms and waited for the pain to pass. 

“I think that I’m fine.” 

Gabriel didn’t look too trusting in your response. 

“Yeah, I’m not buying that.” 

You winced as another pain washed over you. 

“I think you picked a hell of a day to come back home because I think these may be contractions. Oh my god, dad was right. Sex is bad.” 

Gabriel couldn’t help but laugh about that one. 

“I didn’t hear you complaining when we were doing it.” 

You winced. 

“You are going to be lucky if I ever let you touch me again.” 

Gabriel quickly picked you up and carried you back to the bedroom. 

“We have plenty of time to talk about that later. I better go find Raphael. I am really glad that my dad designated him as the healer. This is freaking me out.” 

You smiled sheepishly. 

“You should see things from where I am sitting. You aren’t pushing something the size of a small turkey out of you.” 

Gabriel winced. 

“I’ll just go get my brother.” 

________

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[havenoffandoms]

The Archangel’s Protégé

Pairing: Sam x archangel!Gabriel

Summary: 

“So, assuming my archangel is still alive… he will definitely, 100% show up if I was in immediate danger, right?”, Kevin asked, his tone careful and contemplative. Sam knew that he could not promise this to the prophet. For this reason, he merely shook his head with a defeated sigh.

“I can’t guarantee that anyone will show up. Especially if it turns out that Gabe… Gabriel is dead, then there’s no saying what will happen to you”

Mention: @swellsabriel (who inspired me to write this beautiful piece) and @warlockwriter (who requested a link) 

“So, let me get this straight… I am attached to an archangel?”, Kevin asked with a puzzled frown on his face. Sam merely nodded, offering an apologetic smile as if he were personally responsible for the prophet’s plight.

“Well, more like an archangel is attached to you, really”, Dean corrected, earning himself an eye-roll from Kevin.

“Same thing” Kevin let out a heavy sigh and absent-mindedly rubbed his temple, “So, uh… do we know who my archangel is?”

“Well, here’s the thing. Lucifer and Michael are in the cage, so we can rule them out. And Raphael is dead. The only archangel we believe could still be alive somewhere is Gabriel. That’s why we wanted to test our theory…”, Sam explained, trying really hard to sound calm and reassuring so Kevin would not freak out. He needed the prophet to keep an open mind about this. It was the only way this plan was going to work out.

“Okay, so…” Kevin briefly hesitated before meeting Sam’s hazel eyes, the faintest hint of worry discernible on his features, “This Gabriel dude… what’s he like? Is he one of the bad guys you want to get rid of, or…?”

“No! No, don’t worry Kevin, Gabriel is not a bad guy”, Sam immediately came to the defence of the archangel, glaring at his brother when Dean failed to hold back a derisive snort of laughter. “Dean, shut up!”

“Oh, come on, Sammy! Sure, Gabriel is not a bad guy, but he sure as hell ain’t a good one either…”

“He’s got his flaws, like we all do”, Sam added as he addressed Kevin once again, “but he’s on our side. We just want to know if he’s still around or if he faked his death again”

“Again?” Kevin’s eyebrows both shot upwards at Sam’s words. However, before the younger Winchester had a chance to explain what was meant, the prophet shook his head and exhaled loudly. “D’you know what, doesn’t matter! My life has been all kinds of crazy recently, and I’ve had it. I’ll do whatever you guys want, just please try not to get me killed!”

“Thank you, Kevin” Sam said, the genuine smile on his face reaching his eyes that shone brightly with gratitude. Kevin looked slightly surprised by the sudden display of emotion from the younger Winchester, but eventually returned the gesture somewhat nervously. Meanwhile Dean muttered something under his breath which neither Kevin nor Sam quite understood, but the taller hunter was convinced that not even his brother’s cynic remark could spoil his mood. The warm feeling that spread in his stomach at the prospect of potentially seeing Gabriel again was making him feel dizzy. He knew that he should not be getting his hopes up yet, but Sam simply could not help himself.

“So, how do we summon my archangel?”, Kevin asked innocently, causing Dean to shoot Sam a knowing look while the younger Winchester cleared his throat uneasily. The prophet picked up on both actions, instantly tensing up when he realised that the two brothers were up to something. “What is it?”

“Well, you see Kevin uh… this is where things get a bit, how should I put it… complicated and potentially… dangerous”, Sam started explaining, avoiding Kevin’s eyes as he tried to find the right words. Dean looked like he was enjoying himself far too much judging by the wide grin on his face. Sam shot his brother a pleading look, which was only met with a disinterested shrug.

“You’re on your own, kiddo”, Dean declared, the smug grin never leaving his face. Sam merely sighed as he realised that he would have no support from the older Winchester.

“A prophet’s archangel will only appear when said prophet is at very high risk of… well, dying”

Sam flinched when he saw the expression of sheer terror on Kevin’s face. The younger Winchester fully expected the prophet to backtrack and run far away from these crazy people who wanted him to put his own life at risk to potentially attract an archangel who, as far as Sam and Dean could tell, had died several years ago at the hand of his own brother. Sam understood, and he knew that he would not be allowed to blame Kevin if it turned out that the prophet wanted to put an end to their arrangement. The taller hunter felt his heart break in his chest at the thought of losing his only chance of finding out whether Gabriel was still alive.

“So, assuming my archangel is still alive… he will definitely, 100% show up if I was in immediate danger, right?”, Kevin asked, his tone careful and contemplative. Sam knew that he could not promise this to the prophet. For this reason, he merely shook his head with a defeated sigh.

“I can’t guarantee that anyone will show up. Especially if it turns out that Gabe… Gabriel is dead, then there’s no saying what will happen to you”

Sam mentally chastised himself for using Gabriel’s nickname. It brought up too many painful memories of their time spent together in the intimacy of Gabriel’s conjured up fantasies. No one could ever reach them there, no cell phones allowed for Sam either. Gabriel’s mind had been the only safe-haven from the cruel world outside. Gabriel had tried countless times to convince Sam to not go back to the real world, where only death and misery awaited him. Sam had always kept an optimistic outlook on his situation, knowing full well that if he started to despair he would take Gabriel up on his offer. And that would mean leaving Dean behind. The younger Winchester would never have forgiven himself for abandoning his older brother.

“Can you promise that you’ll save me if you notice that no one is coming to the rescue?”, Kevin enquired, his eyes shifting back and forth between the two brothers.

“Absolutely”, Dean spoke up before Sam had time to process what was happening, “Kevin, you’re one of us. Family don’t get left behind”

Sam only nodded his approval, too shocked to speak. Kevin was still considering this, despite the risks the plan involved. Sam felt his heart swell with fondness as he rose from his chair and went to pull Kevin up into a tight hug. To hell with the emotionless front the younger Winchester had tried to hide behind. Kevin had just given him the most valuable present Sam could ever dream of.

“Wow… I didn’t know you felt that strongly about it”, the prophet admitted, sounding slightly taken aback. Sam merely grinned toothily, pulling Kevin even closer if that was possible and patting his back amiably.

“You have no idea, kiddo”

OoO

“I’m feeling less confident about this”

Kevin stood awkwardly at the curb of the sidewalk, watching as Sam and Dean kept an eye out for any oncoming cars. The plan was to push the prophet onto the road early enough so he would not immediately get hit by a car, while keeping an element of immediate danger to incite his archangel to show up and save the day. Worst case scenario if nobody showed up, Dean and Sam had brought Cas along to save Kevin from being flattened by an SUV.

“Don’t worry, you’ll be fine”, Dean reassured him, tapping Cas on the shoulder, “you’ve got a back-up angel with you”

“Just when I thought that you two could not upset the rules of heaven and hell even more, you include me in the voluntary endangering of a prophet of the Lord” Cas’ disapproving frown did nothing to appease Kevin’s uneasiness.

“Yeah, yeah, you’ll burn in hell for your sins Cas, we know. To be fair, it’s not like you won’t know anybody there”, Dean commented optimistically, earning himself an eye roll from the seraph.

“This is no joking matter, Dean”

“Ok, Kevin you ready?”, Sam asked, interrupting the hunter and angel’s bickering. The prophet looked like a deer in the headlights, however before he could pronounce himself on the matter, Sam grabbed him by the wrist and pushed him onto the road. Kevin watched with horror as a massive Ford Expedition headed his way, undoubtedly driving much faster than the legally acceptable speed limit. Despite his limited knowledge of physics, Sam knew that the car would not have enough time to break before it hit the prophet. The deafening sound of the driver honking at Kevin to move out of the way only seemed to intensify the prophet’s panic, which kept him rooted to the spot. All Kevin could do was close his eyes and hope for the best. Sam felt his stomach knot painfully as he felt Cas brace himself next to him.

“Son of a bitch”, Dean cried out as a bright light blinded all of them. Sam’s first instinct was to check if Cas was still next to him, but the flash of light made everything around him imperceptible. Sam felt the warmth of the glow burn his retina, which convinced him to bring his arm before his eyes to shield them from it. The several seconds it took for the light to die down felt like ages to Sam, Dean and Kevin. Sam was the first one to open his eyes, frantically looking around to ensure that everyone was fine.

“That’s impossible”, Sam heard Cas whisper next to him.

“It appears that you’re wrong there, Cassie”, a very familiar voice replied, causing Sam’s heart to somersault in his chest. The younger Winchester’s hazel eyes met Gabriel’s golden once, and it took every ounce of Sam’s willpower not to burst into tears of joy at the sight of his lover standing before him. Gabriel, on the other hand, looked beyond annoyed.

“Well Samshine? What have you got to say for yourself?”

Gabriel was holding a very faint-looking Kevin by the armpit, which was without doubt the only reason why the prophet was still standing on his two feet. Kevin’s face had turned whiter than a ghost’s, and his eyes stared blankly at the sidewalk as he recovered from his shock. Sam had the decency to look apologetic when he met Gabriel’s eyes again.

“I… wanted to test a theory”

“By pushing a kid in front of a car?”, Gabriel asked rhetorically, shaking Kevin slightly for emphasis. The harsh movement, however brief it had been, caused Kevin to moan in discomfort as he brought a hand to his mouth to kill his urge to retch everywhere. Noticing the prophet’s discomfort, Gabriel let go of him before focusing his attention on Sam again.

“Well?”

“I uh… it was a stupid idea, granted, but… it was the only way I could think of that would potentially force you to come here…”, Sam admitted, his tone laced with sadness when Gabriel did not greet him the way the younger Winchester had expected him to.

“It was careless of you! And I can’t believe that you agreed to this”, Gabriel exclaimed, pointing an accusatory finger at Kevin, who merely flinched back when the archangel’s anger was directed at him. “Honestly, it’s almost like dad is purposefully assigning the most important jobs to those humans that lack the most common sense!”

“Gabe, babe…”

“Don’t you dare ‘babe’ me, Samuel Winchester” Despite the difference in height, Sam could not help but take several steps back as Gabriel took several threatening steps towards him, “I was in hiding, I went in hiding to save my ass and to protect yours! You’ve compromised the whole operation by calling me here”

“I needed to see you. I’ve missed you so much, Gabe. Can you blame me for wanting to make sure that you were actually dead?”, Sam asked, putting on his best puppy eyes. It was true that Gabriel had never been one to fall easily for them, but the younger Winchester had managed to get his own way using his beaten puppy face before.

“Blame you? Of course not, I mean who wouldn’t miss this hot stuff right here?”, the archangel said, pointing at himself. “I blame you for the way you went about it!”

“You didn’t leave me another choice. I prayed to you, Gabe, every night” Sam was beginning to lose patience with the archangel before him, and the way he raised his voice at Gabriel was a tell-tale indication that he had had enough, “You never came, no matter how desperately I prayed to you. So no, I didn’t see another way. I needed to know, I needed closure. Quit acting like I’m the bad guy here!”

Sam’s words seemed to have the desired effect on Gabriel. The archangel went quiet, merely sighing heavily as he met Sam’s pleading gaze. A quick look at the crowd that had gathered around them told Gabriel that he had attracted far too much attention to himself as it was. He clicked his fingers loudly, and before Sam knew it, everyone went back to minding their own business and ignoring the five strange men arguing in the street. The younger Winchester realised that Gabriel must have either wiped their memories, or meddled with time again. Regardless, Sam let out a relieved sigh.

“Don’t get into any more trouble, boys” Gabriel asked, his voice emotionless and his gaze cold, “I’ll see you around”

Before Sam could react, his lover disappeared before his eyes again, leaving the four of them staring at the spot where Gabriel had stood mere seconds earlier. Dean and Cas shared a worried look, while Kevin finally managed to throw up his breakfast in a nearby bin. Sam, on the other hand, felt like hitting something.

“Sammy?”

“Let’s just go home” Sam told his brother as he headed to the Impala.

OoO

“Are you sure you want to do this again?”, Sam asked Kevin when he came to him with his plan the same morning, “I mean, the last time was a disaster for all of us”

“Maybe so”, Kevin agreed before taking a sip of his diet coke, “but I saw the way you guys looked at each other. And I saw how devastated you were the next couple of days. This Gabriel guy seems to mean a lot to you. And if there’s any way I can help you guys work it out, then I want to help”

Sam could not believe his ears. He had not expected Kevin to speak to him at all since the incident, yet alone suggest a second attempt. The younger Winchester wondered if he should truly venture down that road again. Gabriel had been pissed. Justifiably so, of course, but Sam was not used to seeing the more authoritarian side of the archangel’s personality. It had been slightly scary, and incredibly arousing at the same time.

“Okay, but if we try this again, we need to go about it more subtly. I think if I tried to push you off a cliff, Gabriel would literally shove me off it with you”, Sam joked. Kevin nodded solemnly as he imagined the scene.

“Yep. Maybe something a bit less extreme will do the trick. How about I stand on a ladder and pretend to fall? I mean, not high enough to really hurt me, but high enough to make it potentially lethal…” Sam smirked at the infallibility of the plan.

“Let’s test that theory”

OoO

Cas had refused to help them out on this one, which meant that Kevin and Sam were on their own at the back of the bunker with the prophet perched on a ladder at the back of the bunker. Kevin was trying to explain the physics of falling to Sam, who was only half tuned into the conversation. All the younger Winchester could think about was Gabriel. True, the archangel was pissed at him, but despite that Sam would take the risk of facing his anger again. Anything to see his lover again after so many years of absence. He had missed Gabriel so much, and any opportunity to see him was one he was willing to take.

“So that means that it's not the fall that gets you, it's the sudden stop at the end. It depends a lot on where and which way up you land. For a hard surface, assuming you don't land on your head, you are almost certain to survive a fall from a height of 7m. Though "survive" is likely to involve life-changing injuries at the top of this range. Between 7 and 12m, you may or may not survive. Over 12 m, you are almost certain not to survive.” Kevin told Sam, not realising that the younger Winchester was not really listening to his explanations, “so really, considering the height I’m at, it could prove lethal for me. Ipso facto, Gabriel should appear to save me”

“Mhm… right, you ready?”, Sam asked, hoping Kevin would not ask him to repeat what he had just said.

“As ready as I’m ever gonna be”, the prophet retorted before taking a deep composing breath. Sam saw how Kevin shut his eyes and murmured something under his breath, possibly a prayer, before leaping off the ladder. Sam watched as Kevin’s body plummeted to the ground, hoping that Gabriel would show up once again. The last thing the younger Winchester wanted was to explain to Cas why Kevin had several broken bones in his body resulting of purposefully leaping off a ladder. Sam’s worries dissipated when he heard the ruffle of wings and caught sight of Gabriel catching Kevin bride-style at the bottom of the ladder.

“Oh, silly me”, Kevin uttered, nervousness evident in his tone as he was once again faced with the powerful archangel Gabriel, “What a clumsy klutz I am. Man, it wouldn’t surprise me if I’m the reason you develop a drinking problem in the future” Sam had to hold back a snort of laughter at Kevin’s exaggerated apology. Gabriel shot the younger Winchester a warning glare, which instantly shut Sam up.

“Believe me, if I could change the cosmic laws ruling this prophet-archangel relationship clause, you would be dead by now!”, Gabriel assured Kevin, who merely gulped audibly at his words. The archangel dropped the prophet, who merely grunted in pain as his body made impact with the wet muddy ground.

“Hey”, Sam greeted Gabriel, a small smile gracing his features. The archangel raised an exasperated eyebrow at his lover’s actions, no doubts refraining from zapping him back into TV land as punishment. The younger Winchester noticed the hint of a smirk tugging at the corner of Gabriel’s lips.

“Hiya Samsquatch”, the archangel replied, his voice having grown considerably softer since the last time they spoke. Sam took this as a positive development, however he did not dare take the next step yet. For now, the tenderness he saw reflected in Gabriel’s eyes would do just fine.

OoO

The next couple of weeks were filled with Sam and Kevin coming up with more ridiculous scenarios where the prophet would put his life at risk. Even though the situations were becoming less and less life-threatening, Gabriel never failed to show up. Additionally, he also started to spend more time with Sam whenever he was around to ‘save’ Kevin from a particularly harsh cold, or when he randomly appeared to confiscate a butter knife from the prophet to eliminate the risk of ‘stabbing himself to death’.

Sam figured that enough was enough. He wanted the angel to stay for good. He had prepared a whole speech, dinner, flowers… the whole romantic crap Gabriel was into (and yes, he 100% owned up to it, too). The archangel was bound to stick around after that, right? So, Sam had asked Kevin for one last favour. Kevin would come very close to cutting himself badly with his razor, a scenario the two of them had already used on Gabriel before, and which had worked. Then, Sam would take Gabriel away to the dining area and treat him to a lovely meal, and surprise him with a home-made dessert. Sam knew the archangel would not be able to resist this gesture, and the younger Winchester was especially proud of his little plan.

Imagine Sam’s disappointment when Gabriel appeared earlier than planned.

“Samshine, we need to talk”, the archangel announced.

“NO! No, this was not supposed to happen that way! I had everything planned to the very last detail, and you think you can just show up and ruin everything?”

Gabriel’s puzzled expression at Sam’s reaction only intensified when his lover fisted his own hair in frustration, letting out guttural groan to emphasises just how upset he was that his surprise for Gabriel had failed.

“Sam, I…”

“I’ve been planning this for days, I have a speech”, Sam exclaimed, pulling out a folded piece of paper, “see? You can’t be here yet, I haven’t set anything up and besides, dinner is not even cooked yet, and the lemon-meringue pie is still cooking in the oven…”

“So that’s what smells so heavenly, huh? I simply thought you’d changed your shower gel”, Gabriel joked as he looked at Sam with all the love and adoration in the world. The archangel took several tentative steps towards his lover and tenderly intertwined his fingers with Sam’s. The gesture seemed to relax the younger Winchester instantly judging by the way his shoulders slumped at Gabriel’s touch.

“Gabe, this is not funny…”

“Oh, that’s where you’re wrong kiddo. It’s hilarious! You wanna know why?”, the archangel asked while wiggling his eyebrows. Sam looked utterly confused by the display.

“Why?”

“Because, my beautiful moose… you and I had the exact same idea. Fair enough, my dinner was gonna take place in Paris and dessert would have been a chocolate religieuse from the best pastry chef of the capital, but…” Gabriel smiled earnestly at Sam before placing a soft kiss on the back of the taller hunter’s hand without breaking eye contact, “I think I like your idea better. I can’t wait to taste that home-made lemon meringue pie”

Sam could not hold back the happy, albeit teary smile that graced his lips. Leaning down, the younger Winchester locked his lips with Gabriel’s, feeling the familiar warmth spread through his chest as his lover kissed him back just as lovingly.

All was good. And Sam was not about to let Gabriel leave him ever again.

[sageclover61]

Cleansing Fire

@spnonewordbingo

Bingo Square: Afraid

Pairing: None

Rating: T

Wordcount: 1554

CW: Demon blood addiction, blood, vomit (not as graphic as the blood), possible suicidal ideation

There is no character death in this story, but it’s still dark.

Summary: Withdrawal from mortal substances could be lethal if not done carefully and in the view of trained medical professionals. Tying Sam to a metal table and locking him in the panic room? Not a good idea.

“You are nothing.” “You as good as killed me.” “Everything would have been better if you had never been born.”

Sam screamed, thrashing against the leather binding him to the metal bed. Sleep did not come easily and when there was sleep, it was nightmares full of blood and fire.

Mary and Jess taunted him, blaming him for killing them as though it was he who had snuffed the life from their bodies. Even as he watched them burned, screaming and trying so hard to save them, they condemned him.

And Sam cried, screaming and wailing, afraid and aching as his body both rejected the demon blood and demanded that he give it more and he was almost begging for the sweet relief of death because coupled with the reminder of the absolute disappointment and disgust in Dean’s gaze, death would have been better than having to deal with this Hell.

Sam ached everywhere. His wrists and ankles hurt from tugging on the leather binding, his face hurt from screaming and crying, and his stomach rolled, revolting from detox and demanding more and he didn’t even know what would be worse.

So Sam cried, and at some point he begged for anything from the God he had spent most of his life believing in because it was comforting, even if Dean only mocked him for that faith. And then they’d met the dick angels and Sam didn’t know what he wanted anymore.

He didn’t care about Hell and he didn’t care about Heaven, but he cared about forgiveness from the deity he’d spent his entire childhood begging for Dean to return home safely. And even if He wasn’t real, Dean had never died on a hunt so he wanted to believe that maybe Someone had been looking out for them. But then Dean had sold his soul for Sam’s life and Sam screamed at the injustice of everything. He shouldn’t have had to live without Dean, he wasn’t supposed to  have tried to live without Dean. It wasn’t ever supposed to be a possibility!

But it was. But it had been, and Sam cried, his emotions causing the demon blood to throw his bed around the room and he didn’t even care. The walls rattled around him, and all Sam wanted to was let go.

“Our Father, who art in Heaven,” he whispered brokenly, delirious, and not even sure what he was doing except that the repetition of the words brought a small measure of peace to his delirious and fever wracked body. “Hallowed be Thy name. They Kingdom come, Thy will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven.”

What was the real goal? Anna had implied that human emotions were better than anything angels were allowed to feel. But human’s capacity to love was free will . There was no destiny there, not humans doing whatever the Hell they wanted to do.

“Give us this day, our daily bread, and forgive us our sins as we forgive those who trespass against us.” He should not have fallen for the web Ruby had designed for him so beautifully. He should have seen it as the temptation that it was. He couldn’t believe that he was destined to be nothing more than the King of Hell that Azazel had designed him to be, but he just had no idea what God had intended his purpose to be. “And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.”

He had fallen so far into temptation, how was he even supposed to start making amends for it all? But that didn’t necessarily mean he couldn’t change the way he lived his life, did it? The AA and the NA existed for a reason, right? He did not like what the demon blood did to him, even as much as he had only wanted to save so many lives. The road to Hell was paved with good intentions, after all.

“For Thine is the Kingdom and the Power and the Glory, forever and ever.”

What did that even mean? Sam’s exhausted and fevered mind wondered. The angels either wanted to stop the apocalypse, or they wanted to bring it about, divine retribution and the final battle between Michael and Lucifer and all that jazz, Revelations , he wasn’t entirely sure what. They were pushing for Lilith to die, yes, but no one had ever outright said what the final seal even was. And these angels didn’t even like humanity, the mud monkeys.

Sam coughed, and coughed. He coughed so hard that he was retching and he didn’t like the copper taste in the back of his throat that made him gag more as a reminder of how nasty the demon blood was that had got him into this mess in the first place.

Even though he was hoarse and dizzy, he rambled into another prayer because it was the only thing he could think of that might make him feel a little less slimy with all the sins he had committed. “Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and the Holy Spirit, both now and always, and unto the ages and ages.”

Was he supposed to be praying? Castiel had said if they prayed to him, he could hear it, and he always came when Dean prayed, even though he was always so irreverent 

No one had ever come when Sam prayed. Castiel didn’t even come when Sam prayed for him to come when he was in the same room as Dean, even if Dean just repeated the prayer a minute later when he didn’t come for Sam.

Maybe he was so tainted the angels couldn’t hear him. That would be better than if they were outright ignoring him, and maybe safter too. What would they even do to him if they came now? He was at his weakest, all of his strength sapped by the withdrawal, and he was tied, prone, to a stupid metal table. It wasn’t a bed, it was just a table. It would be so easy to smite him with a single thought, but at least it would be an instantaneous death, so much faster than wasting away to the withdrawal.

Sam didn’t really want to stop, and at least by praying he could feel like he was talking to someone else rather than just rambling on to himself. Reciting some of the common prayers as a child had felt a lot like meditating. “My God, I am sorry for my sins with all my heart.” There was no way that his actions hadn’t been sinful, and going through withdrawal was going to just be the first step in trying to recover from that and move on with his life. If he survived.

“In choosing to do wrong and failing to do good, I have sinned against You whom I should love above all things.” He loved his God, and maybe he had been less faithful after leaving Stanford, but that didn’t mean that he was living the life he wanted to live. “I firmly intend, with Your help, to do penance, to sin no more, and to avoid whatever leads me to sin.” Ruby was a demon. He should have killed her the second she said she was in a dying host. Instead he had followed her so far into sin there was probably no way he could ever make up for it, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to try. He hated feeling like this.

“Our Saviour Jesus Christ, suffered and died for us. In His name, my God, have mercy. Amen” Sam stumbled through the last bit of the prayer. He was so tired and exhausted, and as he retched again, he could feel his strength failing.

Sam coughed. His ribs hurt, and he closed his eyes because he didn’t want to look at the blood he was sure to be coughing up. He coughed harder, and, Oh, God , his lungs hurt.

Finally, finally the coughing subsided. But he realized he couldn’t breathe. Not through his nose, not through his mouth. His lungs were on fire and he couldn’t breathe.

He blinked, wondering if this was it. It took a healthy person three minutes to asphyxiate, but he wasn’t healthy, hadn’t been in a long time.

There was a flash of white light, bright enough to blind Sam, and he couldn’t help but wonder if this was what dying would feel like. But even though he couldn’t remember what happened after he’d died, he did recall the moment Jake had stabbed him in the back, and there had been no light.

Closing his eyes did not help to block it out, and he curled in on himself as much as he was able, despite being tied to the table. He was afraid, but he didn’t know why . There was no reason to fear death. The only thing he had to be afraid of was living another day with the mindless need for more. He was done with the demon blood, even if the demon blood wasn’t done with him.

As the voice said, “It’s okay, Samuel. You are loved, and everything will be alright,” there was a moment of clarity. This was Raphael, Archangel of Healing, and maybe, maybe , maybe there was a God who cared.

[dreamin-of-somewhere-else]

The Novaks: The One With The Two Men At The Diner

The Novaks Masterlist

Characters: Castiel, Michael, Lucifer, Raphael, Gabriel x sister!reader

Words: 3000+

Warnings: Swearing, mean comments, hints at violence, otherwise not that bad.

A/N: Soooooo, I’ve been watching so much Shameless this past week, it’s crazy. (SPN forever though!) I said it inspired the last fic, but maybe it inspired this one as well. This is pretty different and it’s an AU! The angels are humans.

Also, I’m thinking about making more parts of this, if you like it. So if you want more, let me know - and your request is my demand. I’ll tell you more about it later, if it follows through. Also, I tagged less people in this one since I didn’t know who’d want to read this. But, I still included all of the SPN (Sisfic) Taglist since it’s not only for Winchester!sister fics. Although, feel free to ignore as always! Hopefully I didn’t bother anyone.

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Your family is just a little bit different from the average. A few more kids, and few less parents. Okay, well, no parents and six siblings. It’s a long story, but you get by surprisingly well.

Sometimes at least.

Oldest in the family (except for your absent dad who no one has seen in years) is Michael. Kind of a douchebag, he definitely thinks he knows it all. Self-claimed leader of the family. He’s 22 and the one that brings home the most money through his work at the local car repair garage as a mechanic — and therefore, he’s not someone you would want to mess with. Well, that and his slight anger issues. It isn’t confirmed that he has them, but if anyone could get mad, it’s Michael. All of you other siblings have respect for him. He can definitely be intimidating, and to be honest — you’re kind of scared of him. Everyone except for the second to oldest sibling in the family…

Which is Lucifer. He’s often the only one who stands up to Michael, and the two of them can fight like nobody else. Lucifer — or Luci as you like to call him to his dismay — is one sarcastic bastard that the rest of you kind of avoid or are constantly annoyed at. Like his older brother, Lucifer can get really furious, and everyone in the family know this. He’s the wildcard, amazingly manipulative and often gets in trouble. Luci is also winning the game of who gets arrested the most — which is quite a lot of times, especially since he’s only 21 years old.

Next up is Gabriel, or Gabe, who thinks he’s the funniest guy on the planet. He’s 20 years old and seemingly always present, trying to talk to you about nothing, especially when you’re doing something important. He’s also so good at convincing that you don’t even know what you’re agreeing to in the end. Definitely a prankster, which gets him in trouble at times, but you can’t say he doesn’t come up with some of the most creative solutions to them.

Balthazar is the fourth one. Hard to keep track of yet? Balt is 19 and pretty much Gabriel’s sidekick, maybe not always by choice. He thinks he’s above Gabriel’s pranks though, that’s what he says officially, at least. They rarely do, but when they fight, they can freeze each other out for a good week — no problem. Balthazar is sarcastic as well (seems to be a family trait) and pretty damn smart.

Then there’s Castiel although you always call him Cas. He’s 18 and can be pretty quiet — calm — and sometimes quite awkward around other people. He’s different in his own, amazing way. If anyone could space out for an hour, it’s Cas. He’s very book smart, with a spectacular memory, but not street smart at all. Although calm, he can get fiercely overprotective of you, and sometimes he can even be sassy. You love those times, because there’s nothing funnier than sassy Cas.

And then finally, it was you. Youngest of six siblings and the only girl. You’re 17, about to be 18, and there’s less than a year between you and Cas. Your relationship with your brothers varies, but you and Cas always had each other’s backs. You two are the second dynamic duo of the family.

Looks wise, you siblings aren’t all that alike. The only parent either of you share is your father, which left you as half siblings. That’s why you’re all close in age as well.

Your dad had never been in the picture, at least not for you, who are the youngest. You don’t have a clear memory of him either, although you remember Michael telling you once that ’of course he’s coming back, (Y/N)’, when you had asked. Michael is the one that had been closest with your dad — from what you had gathered growing up — and some part of him still believes that he’ll walk through the door again. But to you, your dad’s just the person who gave you your genes and last name.

You Novaks don’t exactly have a great reputation either. ’The kids with the weird-ass names.’ You are scapegoats, and if one of you got in trouble, all of you’re all blamed. People call you names — one of them is ”the crazy sextuplets” or some shit like that, since the age difference between you is so small.

You’re not liked. You don’t have a lot of money. But you get by. You always do, somehow. It’s a rocky and crazy ride, but you get forward. And that’s what matters, right?

”Are you lost in thought again, (Y/N)?”

”What?” You ask, brought back to the moment as your eyes shot to Castiel walking besides you.

It’s fall and getting colder by each day that passes. Today, it’s almost at the point where your breath comes out as a misty cloud in front of your face as you speak. The trees are getting barer and barer, the ground more and more decorated with yellow, red and brown.

Castiel’s ocean blue eyes are eyeing you carefully, a small smile on his face.

”I thought so.” He snickers.

”Hey, if anyone can space out it’s you, dear Cas.” You retort, pointing a finger at his chest.

”I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Castiel shrugs it off, looking innocent as you pass the gate and walk up the stairs to the small porch of your worn house.

You roll your eyes at that, but the conversation is lost as you walk through the front door.

”What the hell, Gabe? I’m gonna kill you!”

Balthazar’s angry shout is what greets you as you enter the house. Castiel and you share a look just as Gabriel comes running down the stairs, taking three steps at once, Balthazar hot in his tracks.

”It’s just a prank!” Gabriel shouts back as he runs, a little breathless but grinning largely.

”It’s not funny, that’s what it is,” the younger brother retorts as he continues on chasing the laughing Gabriel, even as he opens the backdoor and runs outside.

You and Castiel don’t even comment it. It’s the usual. You just take off your jackets and shoes, and drop off your bags on the floor.

”Are you working tonight?” Castiel then asks over his shoulder, as he walks further into the house.

”Cas, when I’m a not working?” You reply a little bitterly.

”You work too much.”

”Maybe,” you shrug, beginning to walk up the stairs. ”But we’re still behind on the electricity bill, aren’t we?”

A little over one hour later you’re at the diner you work at. Well, dinner and bar, it’s some sort of mix between the two. Although some nights are better than others, you don’t like this job. It’s not because of the place itself or your boss — it’s the people who came here. Hell, the people who live in this part of the town.

And although you’ve only been here for 20 minutes, you already know it’s going to be one of the worse work shifts.

”Hey, girl!”

You slowly turn around, facing the table with the pair of middle aged men. You know who they are, they don’t come here all that often, but they live in the area. Walt and Roy, you think. You’re unsure if they recognize you.

You walk over. ”Yeah?” You ask, tone light in contrast to theirs.

”We’ll have two more beers,” one of them speak up. The man has tattoos, a beard and is wearing a trucker cap. ”Also, four dollars each? I don’t think so. More like two.”

You swallow. ”That’s how much they cost. Sorry.”

”Who are you?” The other then asks, and you don’t like the change of subject. This man squints his cold eyes at you, eyeing you from head to toe.

You don’t answer, instead you focus on writing down the two beers on your small note pad, pretending to not have heard the question.

”You’re one of those Novak kids, aren’t you?” He finally decides, scoffing before he takes a last sip out of his current glass of beer, emptying it. ”How many are you anyways? 11? 15? Like rats or something.”

His friend scoffed. ”I think a Novak kid stole my wife’s bike the other day.”

You frown, biting the inside of your cheek and hating how he just assumed that without any sort of evidence. It’s just fine to blame it all on you, isn’t it?

”I don’t think so,” you disagree, although you keep yourself calm. Both of them are taller and broader than you, and although you know how to fight — kudos to your brothers — you can’t take on them both at the same time.

”I do,” the same man responds, voice angry. ”I know how you can make it up to me though,” he then continues on as his eyes darken and a disturbing smile spreads on his face. ”Come and meet me outside later in the alley, huh?”

”No.” You shake your head.

”Fine, bitch.” He scoffs, obviously angry to be turned down, his tone venomous. ”I don’t want no Novak anyways, you guys are just pieces of shits.”

At his words, you feel tears burning in your eyes. Not wanting them to see, you whip around and storm out of there. You continue into the kitchen where you run into Rufus, the owner of the diner.

”(Y/N)?” He asks, frowning, but doesn’t get further.

”Sorry, Rufus, but I can’t.” You respond quickly, eyes wild, trying to keep yourself together.

You take off your apron while you keep moving, placing it on a countertop as you pass, and walk out into the cold night.

When you arrive back at your house 30 minutes later, you feel frozen to the core. You’re chattering teeth, chills creep up and down your back and wrapping your arms as closely as you can around yourself doesn’t help.

All the time you were walking, you couldn’t keep your mind off what had happened. You hate this. The way people treat you; it’s tiring and you’re exhausted.

When you close the door behind you, you don’t bother to call out a ’hello’ or even ask if anybody’s home. Someone always is, and that someone would have heard the door closing.

As you angrily kick off your shoes, someone approaches you, silhouette stark against the yellow lightning coming from the kitchen.

”(Y/N)?”

”Mike.”

”Your shift isn’t supposed to end for two hours.” Michael states, squinting his eyes at you suspiciously.

”I know,” you answer simply as you try to push past your oldest brother to the stairs so that you could just go to your room. ”Is Cas home?” You then ask, switching the subject.

”No, he’s out tutoring that Fitzgerald kid.” Michael grabs your wrist as you pass him, forcing you to a stop. ”The question is why you’re home.”

His expression morphs into that one he wears when he’s about to scold you. There’s really no doubt that Michael loves being the authority of the family.

”Okay, if you really wanna know, there was some asses at the diner and I didn’t want to be there anymore.” You rant, eyebrows knitting on your forehead.

You see Michael’s jaw clench, even in the poor lightning.

”We need that money, (Y/N).” His gaze bores into you.

”Don’t you think I know that? Now, let me go!” You try to pull your arm towards yourself but he holds on.

”I don’t think you do.” Michael shakes his head.

”Let me go!” You argue, not wanting to talk about this with him at all. You just wish Cas would come home soon, and until then, you would just sit in your room.

”What’s going on?” A new voice chimes in and both yours and Michael’s head shoot to the source of the sound.

It’s Gabriel, and he looks from you to Michael and then back to you, unsure.

”He won’t let me go.” You say, glaring at Michael, who glares back.

Gabriel sighs, strides over and pushes Michael away from you, who reluctantly lets him, still keeping his icy stare on you.

As soon as his grip’s gone, you bolt up the stairs. You clearly hear the thuds of footfalls behind you, following you, but you don’t care. Instead, you rush into your room and throw yourself on the bed, clutching your pillow and squeezing it as hard as you can, trying to let off some steam at least. Poor pillow.

You’re left alone for a little while, before there’s a knock on the door. You stay silent, but it opens nevertheless — just as always — to reveal Gabriel and Balthazar, the former obviously having gone to get his sidekick.

Within a few seconds you found your self surrounded by your big brothers, one sitting on either side of you on your bed.

Balthazar wraps his arm around your shoulders. ”So what has lil sis’ feeling like this?”

”It’s nothing,” you answer, looking away.

”If it was nothing you wouldn’t be trying to kill your pillow.” Gabriel’s eyes rest on the pillow in your arms, and you glare at him, letting it go.

”Fine, there were some assholes at the diner. Talked some major shit about our family, then proceeded to accuse us of stealing some bike and then he tried to get me to ’meet him outside in the alley’ to make up for it.” You sigh.

”Shit,” Balthazar mutters to himself, hugging you closer at the same time.

To your right, Gabriel only seems to clench his fists tighter and tighter.

”Then I rushed out, and now I don’t know if I have a job anymore. Michael’s gonna kill me.”

”Don’t worry about Mike,” Balthazar reassures you. ”He’ll come around, and if he don’t we’ll handle it.”

”Really?” You ask, looking into his eyes.

”Do I need to pinky promise you?”

You roll your eyes, but smile.

”But, I think we need to get some revenge.” Gabriel speaks up. ”And then you can talk to your boss as well, while we’re there—”

He never gets to finish his sentence because someone else interrupts him.

Standing leaning against the door frame — arms casually crossed over his chest — is Lucifer.

”Anyone we need to beat up?” He asks, raising one eyebrow.

”Yes,” Gabriel responds, and you know that there’s no stopping them now.

”Lovely,” Lucifer nods, smirking in a way that only he can. ’The Luci-grin' as you call it.

”Come on then,” Balthazar states as he and Gabriel grab one of your hands each and pull you up from the bed.

Together you return to the first floor where Michael spends most of his time. Lucifer takes the lead and walks into the kitchen where he finds said brother.

”Brother, we’re going to restore our family’s and our sister’s honor. Wanna come with?” He offers, gesturing with his hands.

”What are you proposing, Lucifer?” Michael asks, rising an eyebrow. ”Explain.”

”(Y/N), tell him.” Lucifer orders, without taking his eyes off Michael. ”Tell him what they said.”

You sigh, not really wanting to, but then you tell him, quoting the men by their exact words. In the end you also added that you’re going to talk to Rufus once you get back to the diner, see what damage has been done and if you get to keep your job after the rage quit, basically, as further encouragement for Michael to come with — but it’s not need,  your big brother is already mad enough.

Despite your differences, there’s one thing your brothers and you can agree on: nobody messes with a Novak.

”I’m in.” Michael clenches his jaw along with his fists — just like Gabriel had done — as he nods, standing up from his chair at the dining table. ”Let’s go.”

”Great,” Lucifer smirks and goes to grab two baseball bats from a basket under the stairs, originating from the time when Michael and he had played the sport.

He keeps one for himself and tosses the other one to Balthazar, who catches it effortlessly.

Just as the whole party moves towards the front door, Castiel enters the house, blue eyes going round as saucers when he sees his siblings; angry with two bats, on the move.

Gabriel is the first one to speak up.

”Hey, little bro! Right on time, we were just leaving.” He says, and with that, everyone starts moving again, walking past the youngest brother and out the door.

”What’s going on?” Castiel then asks you, looking confused as he wraps his hand around your forearm.

”I’ll tell you on the way,” you respond and walk out the door to keep up with the rest of the family.

He follows you outside, once again out in the cold evening. It’s even darker and colder outside now, but you aren’t thinking of it as much this time since your walking along with your five older brothers and not alone.

Soon you’re back at the diner, walking inside as a group. The two men are still there, laughing loudly over cigarettes, drunker than before. You don’t even have to tell your brothers, they can see it on your face that these are the two they came looking for.

”Wait—” you utter just as Lucifer takes the lead, about to walk up to them.

”We’re just gonna talk,” he assures, bat resting on his shoulder. Before you can answer, he along with Michael, Gabriel and Balthazar start moving again.

And although you don’t exactly want the two scumbags dead, the looks of fear on their faces as they spotted the gang of young men approaching them were priceless. You wish you could’ve taped it and watch it on replay, over and over again.

Castiel lingers by your side, and you share a look as you do ever so often.

”I’m going to talk to Rufus,” you tell him, and he nods, following you as you make your way over to the owner of the diner, a man in his fifties.

”(Y/N), what happened?” Are Rufus’s first words when he catches sight of you, confusion in his ebony eyes.

You explain the situation without going into too much detail.

”I’m sorry, I completely understand if you don’t want me working here anymore…” you finish, voice small.

A hand touches your shoulder, giving it a light squeeze, and you know it’s Castiel.

”Don’t worry, girl, I ain’t letting you go. I have a non-tolerance for that type of bullshit crap in my diner anyway. I would throw the sorry excuses of men out of here, if it wasn’t already taken care of.” He says, referring to the commotion that’s now moved outside of the building.  

A smile spreads on your face, relief settling in. ”Thank, Rufus.”

”No problem. But next time, talk to me first and I’ll handle it. There’s a lot of pigs around here, and if your brothers gotta beat them up every time, they’ll be regulars.”

A small chuckle escapes your mouth. ”Yeah, you’re probably right.”

”I’m always right,” he smiles, white teeth a contrast against his deep skin tone.

You laugh again. ”So, I’ll see you tomorrow then?”

”I’m not expecting any less,” he responds, and that settled it.

”Great,” you smile, before turning around to Castiel, who’s smiling too.

You hold up your hand, and he gives you a high five. You had thought that that might have been it, but instead you got to keep your job and Rufus had proven to be someone you could trust at least to some extent, which is definitely a win-win.

You and Castiel walk through the now calm and empty diner, and out the door, the small bell ringing as you did. Outside, your brothers are waiting, faces lightly tinted pink from the light of the red neon sign on the diner’s facade.

There’s no sign of the men, and your siblings look sort of unfazed, like nothing’s happened.

When you join them, Balthazar leans closer to you.

”Not dead, but severely humiliated. Probably won’t come back,” he informs you, contently.

”Thanks for having my back, guys.” You smile, looking from one brother to the other. ”I mean it.”

”No problem, lil sis.” Gabriel ruffles your hair. ”Our pleasure.”

Tell me what you thought! Should I write more? If enough people think so, I will. I already have some ideas how to do this, so yeah :)

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For some reason I’m able to tag less and less people on this list. I don’t know if people are changing their urls, or deleting their blogs, or something’s not working. 

Anyways, as always, if you want on or off the taglist(s), just send me an ask! If you change your url and still want to be tagged, please tell me! It’s REALLY hard to keep track of.

[m0nstera-blog]

Ricky Watches | Mar 13-19

Grimm 06x10 | Blood Magic

After a series of brutal attacks in a local nursing home, Nick and Hank learn about euthanasia being practiced in the Wesen community. Eve asks questions to Adalind that only a Hexenbiest can give.

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Grimm has just three episodes left to tie up a whole lot of loose ends, but it seems to be doing a good job so far. I’m enjoying that, along the way, they haven’t sacrificed the smaller, one-episode plots in an attempt to cram everything they want in for the larger plot. (Though, this will likely be the last we’ll see of that.) This episode, of course, kept with the plot of Eve/Juliette and the Big Bad in the mirror - but also brought us a really compelling and somber sub-plot about dementia and dying with dignity, as well as the preservation of a way of life for a persecuted group of people that are just trying to do their best. In addition, the dynamic between Eve and Adalind has been really intriguing. Two women that were, not too long ago, bitter enemies and romantic rivals but are now warily cautious teammates? A very interesting pair not often seen on mainstream television, at least in a way that doesn’t involve sexism and cat fights. And then, of course, a little humor to make up for the box of tissues you just plowed through:

Eve having to shake one of the Hexen-books to get the letters to unscramble

The medical examiner shrugging off the tox screen results with “I suppose if any place was going to have a giant assassin bug, it’d be Portland.”

Rosalee panics and tells the Gevatter Tod that it’s her husband suffering from dementia as Monroe stares her down and then chugs some wine.

“Make sure your brother doesn’t fall off the bed. No making him float, either.”

Grimm 06x11 | Where the Wild Things Were

Nick finds a way to join Eve in the other place, while the gang reluctantly enlists Renard for help.

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The Scooby Gang pretty quickly realizes that Eve has gone rogue to ̶N̶a̶r̶n̶i̶a̶ ̶T̶h̶e̶ ̶U̶p̶s̶i̶d̶e̶ ̶D̶o̶w̶n̶ The Other Place. This episode felt more like a set-up for next week than a stand-alone episode. We find out the prophecy, what’s probably going on (ick, child bride), what’s through the mirror, and finally we are full-circle from the beginning of the show. The keys, the magic stick, the cloth, the symbols, the mirror, the child with ridiculous powers. All is linked. Adalind offering to go through the mirror speaks volumes about her growth over the seasons. Though I do agree that, as a (possibly now single, if Nick doesn’t find his way back) mother, it’s definitely not something to be asked of her, Adalind volunteering as tribute is a stamp on the finished product of Bad Character Who Is Now Good. The heart to heart in the forest was overdo. Eve says she doesn’t blame Nick, and she wouldn’t change anything. The line "Happiness doesn’t interest me anymore, Nick. It just gets in the way,“ did make me a bit sad for Juliette. Eve has recently settled on a slightly more middle ground between the two - but she’s definitely not Juliette. I was really pleased that it didn’t end up with Nick going back to Juliette/Eve in some sort of destined to be together, endgame sort of way. Nick has moved on, Juliette is gone, and that’s where we are. No romantic happily ever after for them. And they’re okay with that. Once this season is over, I think I’ll need to rewatch the whole thing. Considering it’s been six years since I watched the beginning, the overarcing details are occasionally lost to me.

Humans are called “walking meat” in The Other Place? Jinkies.

The Schrodinger’s Cat analogy confused the bejeezus out of me. So because they went through, another dimension is no longer available? Or it might be a pre-life or afterlife, but not like in a heaven or hell type way? But sort of? And Skull Face might be the devil? What?

"I’m guessing this is your standard stone slab sacrificial altar.”

Seriously, though, did the whole show come down to a magic stick and a child bride?

Next: “ A dark force arrives in Portland with its eyes set on Diana; Monroe, Eve and Rosalee make a discovery that uncovers the origins of the mysterious stick; Hank and Wu are called to a crime scene that is linked to the gang’s greatest threat.”

Criminal Minds 12x14 | Collision Course

When pedestrians in Bradenton, Florida are critically injured following a series of car accidents, the BAU suspects that the vehicles involved in each accident were being controlled by a hacker. Meanwhile, Prentiss works with defense attorney Fiona Duncan (Jeananne Goossen) as Reid prepares to stand trial. Things take a turn for the worse when the Mexican authorities find the weapon of the crime. Reid refuses both the deals the prosecution offers him, and he’s denied bail.

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Welcome to Criminal Minds, where the stories are made up and… still completely terrifying. Criminal of the episode: car hacker. Hack the car, hack the smart phone, watch the horrified driver as they unwillingly run into a pedestrian. Fun for the whole family. (Seriously, though, stop making me nervous about things that will probably not be sci-fi in the very near future.) The unsub is a white male, in his mid- to late-twenties, who was repeatedly rejected by women. Next!

Criminal Minds 12x15 | Alpha Male

When several civilians are disfigured following a series of acid attacks in Philadelphia, the BAU sets out to catch an unsub who wants to make his victims feel as ugly as he does. Meanwhile, Reid struggles to adapt to life in prison after a guard with a grudge sends him to the general population, and makes a friend in Calvin Shaw, a former FBI agent with a dark past.

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This one glanced furtively in the right direction, and then ran away. (And yet I still chased it. I’ll never give you up, Criminal Minds!) This week, we have attractive young people getting hit in the face with acid. Early in the episode it was suggested that it might be a woman, or even multiple unsubs, but of course it was a socially awkward, white, twenty-something male with a severe case of But Why Would You Sleep With Him When You Could Have Me? What I do find interesting, though, is a detective show having a storyline - or even two, really - where the system is not working in the favor of those who are innocent. Reid being put in prison, unable to truly legally defend himself, for a crime he didn’t commit. Calvin Shaw, having to spend the rest of his life in prison for a decision he made in a lose/lose situation. Calvin’s status among the prisoners as the alpha male, and his reaching out to protect Reid, tie in nicely with the criminal of the week.

Criminal Minds 12x16 | Assistance is Futile

A mother steps forward with valuable information for the BAU to aid in their investigation of an unsub known as the bone crusher. Also, Reid must adapt to a new set of rules in prison life.

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I’m not gonna lie, I definitely fast forwarded through a few scenes on this one. Crunching bones is not my thing. -shudders- Of course the victims are women, and of course they’re tortured. In a slight shift in routine, the team actually knows who the perpetrator is pretty early in the episode - then it’s a matter of finding him. So, some people are speculating online that Reid was placed in general population as a plant. I’m… uncertain. I mean, this is the show that “killed” a main character and didn’t let her friends know it was fake, so, who knows. But I’ll be a bit upset for the team if they went through all this heartache for nothing.

Next:The BAU suspects that two unsubs are operating at the same time when victims killed in different ways are found in the same city.

Jane the Virgin 03x01 | Chapter Forty-Five

Michael is in critical condition fighting for his life in hospital, as we are given flashbacks to the start of Jane and Michael’s romance. Police question Petra (really her twin sister, Anezka) and find her acting suspiciously, and Jane and Michael’s mom finally learn to get along.

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Please excuse me while I sob into my tea.

Originally posted by rootxsam

Yes. I watched all of these in one go, so I don’t have much analyzing to offer. Next time I’ll pace myself. I will say, the flashbacks showed a relationship that I wasn’t really expecting. What I was expecting, I'm not sure. But it wasn't that. In addition, I’ve been spoiled on a development from later in the season, which has ruined me forever.

Jane the Virgin 03x02 | Chapter Forty-Six

When Rafael finally admits that he is over Jane, their co-parenting style is tested when they argue over what the best preschool is for Mateo. Xo is paranoid about Alba finding out her secret and what it will do to their relationship.

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Ouch. Jane had moved on from Raphael, of course, but that still has to sting. And Gina Rodriguez does such a good job with the slight facial expressions showing Jane feeling hurt, but trying not to look like she’s feeling hurt. I can’t remember ever seeing a show deal with a character getting an abortion as calmly and as casually as Jane the Virgin did. It was mentioned, it was a thing, and that’s that. No slut shaming, no fingernail-biting decision-making. Xo didn’t want to have kids. So she didn’t. End of story. (Well, not quite. Does Alba know? Uh oh.)

Jane the Virgin 03x03 | Chapter Forty-Seven

Jane continues to work on her thesis and she decides to add Alba’s estranged sister to the narrative, much to Alba’s dismay. In order for Rogelio to have a chance at being an American crossover star he decides to bring the Passions of Santos to The CW in hopes they will pick it up.

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Oh, this episode was exquisite. So good. The second hand embarrassment when Marlene gets the video, though, hurt me to my core. (I actually realized about as soon as she was sending the email what was about to happen, and just screeched from then until the reveal of yes-Marlene-saw-it and #yikes.) The back and forth about The CW - not quite breaking the fourth wall, but definitely giving it a solid kick - was a nice touch.

Jane the Virgin 03x04 | Chapter Forty-Eight

Jane and Michael’s housewarming party in their new home hits a snag when they discover they are being evicted for not paying their rent. Meanwhile, “Petra” shocks Rafael with what she wants to do with her shares of the hotel.

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This storyline actually caught me completely by surprise. The idea that Petra’s half of the rent might not be getting paid never occurred to me - so I was (almost) just as shocked as Jane and Michael when the realtor walked through the door. Speaking of Petra, the twins’ switcharoo storyline is just the right ratio of bonkers telenovella plot to actually plausible. The sweet spot that Jane the Virgin does so well in. (Also, I want Petra back.)

Next: Jane convinces Alba to let her read the letters from her estranged sister, but under the condition Jane doesn’t reach out to her family. Rafael is starting to suspect that something is different with Petra. Meanwhile, Michael and Rafael, with the help of Jane and Rogelio, try to create a civil friendship, but it doesn’t go as smoothly as everyone hoped.

Powerless 01x04 | Emily Dates a Henchman

After receiving a wedding invite from her ex-boyfriend, Emily finds someone to date. However, she doesn’t realize that her date is a henchman for the Riddler. Meanwhile, Teddy and Ron find a Batarang stuck to a safe door that Wayne Security is supposed to improve. Van, after learning about the Batarang, wants to use it to lure Batman to Charm City.

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It could be said that Powerless’ characters are rather two dimensional. It’s not an overly thought-engaging show, and honestly that’s why I like it. Cute, funny, upbeat - all things I need these days. There have been large time gaps - at least a few months have passed - so the sudden closeness with the group feels a little out of the blue, but it isn’t unappreciated. (Also, Robert Buckley from iZombie makes a most excellent henchman.)

Powerless 01x05 | Cold Season

While cold-themed villains rampage Charm City, Emily tries to convince Teddy to submit his super-heating gloves to an in-company competition for new inventions. Meanwhile, Van convinces Ron to assemble toys that’ll help him with his new girlfriend’s daughter.

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I really have nothing of substance to contribute for this episode.I really love this show.

Originally posted by colleenwing

Next: When Emily learns that Jackie is in need of some extra cash, she can’t help but try and do what she can to help her out. Meanwhile, Van is on a witch hunt and has his eyes set on Teddy, Ron and Wendy.

What did you think? Have you tried Powerless yet? Is Jane the Virgin making you cry like Titanic during shark week? Have you watched Emerald City? That's on my list. And why are detective shows so addictive, anyways?

until next time xo, ricky

[orionsangel86]

I need to address something I said on  this post that was taken the wrong way and found its way to the ‘destiew’ tag.

Now I make a policy ever since I once got into an argument with some anti’s to just block as soon as they start reblogging my stuff so I am not responding to the post in question (Because arguing with haters is exhausting as they will never see how wrong they are). But I feel it needs to be addressed anyway:

Now this was then followed by a longer load of bullshit by another ‘cas’ stan and destiel hater which outlined all the ways that Castiel is not in love with Dean which made me laugh it was so ridiculous and I need to address this. In absolutely no way do I think Castiel’s life and existence is “all about Dean”. This is just not true. 

I worded it badly in my previous post, but what I meant was that he was motivated by love, and that without the love, it is hard to understand many of his actions. I say this because his reasons for choosing “humanity” over everything he has ever known just don’t really cut it if you remove the love. Consider this, an angel who has never known anything other than heaven and his orders, chooses to disobey and fall because some human who he hasn’t known all that long tells him too?

Okay, so you can view this as him thinking about God’s original orders to the angels that they were to love humanity more than they loved God, and Cas thought something was up with heaven anyway. He did after all keep the whole Michael and Lucifer meat suit thing from Dean and Sam. Fair enough. No love.

Season 5, Cas has fallen, he is outcast and angry, he is slowly becoming human. He goes on a hunt for God. Yeah so his motivations in season 5 don’t scream love to me, more just desperation to stop the apocalypse and dedication to free will. Fair enough. No love. Just a badass motherfucker who rocks and swishes around in his trenchcoat being the best in every way. Moving on.

Season 6, now this is where it gets interesting because of 6x20. If you are a Cas stan, and you still hate Dean and think there is nothing there from Cas’s side after 6x20 then you honestly confuse the hell outta me. 6x20 basically confirms that Cas’s deal with Crowley was because he couldn’t bare to burden Dean. If he was just ‘meh’ about Dean and only saw him as a friend, then that whole arc of season 6 makes no sense because isn’t it a defining characteristic of Castiel that he is a master strategist and logical first and foremost? Therefore, wouldn’t the most logical solution to the Raphael problem be to go to the guy who stopped the apocalypse before rather than make a deal with a demon which, as an angel, he KNOWS is a bad idea?? Hmmm?? He went to Dean first of all because it was the logical choice. It was his first plan. But he stopped himself and watched the guy rake leaves instead. Tell me how that wasn’t motivated by love honestly.

Season 7. Cas wants to make it up to DEAN. He will find a way to redeem himself to DEAN. It was all about DEAN. Sorry, but that’s how they wrote him. Believe me I am the LAST person to be a Dean stan around here, but that’s how it was. Castiel’s motivations in season 7 were penance and love. (except for Crazy!Cas who wanted nothing but peace). I won’t deny that at face value Sam and Dean’s treatment of Cas in late season 7 made me angry, but since I objectively try to understand all the characters motivations and desires I can see why Dean reacted the way he did and have spoken about this previously too.

Season 8. Boy don’t get me started. you can blame 8x07 and 8x17 if you must but the fact remains that in order to get Castiel back on heavens side Naomi used DEAN (or at least copies of him). Castiel OF COURSE has other motivation throughout, mainly his need for penance and redemption. He wasn’t yet of the mindset of making things right, more of punishing himself, but his LOVE for Dean was what broke him free. Cas’s ENTIRE season 8 plot cannot be explained if Cas isn’t IN LOVE with Dean at this point.

Season 9. Cas was a “jilted lover”. Showrunners own words. Um... yeah. That. Of the whole range of human emotions and issues that our poor angel faced in early season 9, rejection was a big one. He was heartbroken. Ephraim was drawn to Castiel’s pain which was paralleled with heartbreak throughout the episode as it was the one thing all the victims had in common. Do I REALLY need to go on? 

Yes actually I will. He found himself a purpose in late season 9 because once again the angels were pulling him at all angles which is what they did constantly in season 9 and 10, Castiel was always reluctant but felt like he COULDN’T say no because of his past and his continued need for redemption as he still feels a great guilt and sorrow over his actions of season 6. However Metatron spells it out to us plainly in case you weren’t listening “He’s in love... with humanity” “you draped yourself in the flag of heaven, but ultimately it was all about saving one human.” 

At this point its impossible NOT to view it from a love perspective. No seriously. How am I supposed to take this to mean anything other than love? He didn’t chose to spare Dean’s life for humanities sake? Killing Dean would have been the best strategic choice at that point in time to stop Metatron and keep the angels on his side, but he couldn’t do it because he is IN LOVE WITH DEAN.

*breaths* 

I’m not gonna bother explaining season 10-12. From 9 onwards the show has basically made it canon that Cas is in love with Dean and I feel no need to go on. 

Basically haters, here’s the thing, I am in no way saying that Castiel is reduced to being Dean’s love interest. As much as you would LOVE for that to be my argument to make me out to be some unintelligent imbecile,  Castiel is actually a multidimensional and complex character with many facets and motivations. It just so happens that his LOVE for another character is one of the most beautiful things about him. If you are really gonna sit there and deny that love is a beautiful part of Cas’s character then I feel sorry for you.

Also, about the abuse. Fuck off. I’m done with that argument. Every character has been abusive to every other character. It’s Supernatural. They have been brainwashed into beating each other and they have been pushed to unimaginable levels of stress with what they do. I don’t romanticise abuse. That is an old and boring argument against destiel shippers that has absolutely no place in any of my discussions. Are they abusive? Not intentionally. There is no sinister twisted underlying issue between these two characters where they make each other miserable and aim to control each others lives. This ain’t 50 shades sweetheart. The show has gone out of its way to show that they are each others happy place. How can you not fucking see this? When the characters are pushed to extremes this show sometimes goes overboard and yes, those bits make me angry. It makes me angry that Sam has been canonically abused for years and it has never been addressed, it makes me angry that Cas gets treated like a tool on regular occasions to the extent that it was admitted by Cas himself to Metatron in 11x06. It makes me angry that Dean was abused as a child and now struggles to find himself in the awful position of both victim and abuser as the brothers have a fucked up toxic codependent relationship. Does Cas come into that? Sometimes yes. Most of the time no. These are things that the show sometimes struggles to address because they are deep and psychological and intelligent issues in a way that this show just can’t delve into. Its a fucking CW show for christ’s sake not bloody HBO. But at least it does try to address them.

Here’s an idea. If you don’t like it, stay out of the destiel tags and keep the hell off of my posts. Finally, I am so so sorry that you can’t see the love in the world. That must be such a sad boring existence.

I’m done.

[huntertales]

Part Three: God’s [Not] Dead. (Free to Be You and Me S05E03)

Useful Links: Last Part | All Episodes Word Count: 2,969. A/N: I'll admit this part isn't exactly that exciting, it runs through the episode like normal. But I can say the last part will be much more intresting (as I hope, like always) and will feature a character or two that are my personal favorite. As always, I hope you guys enjoy!

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You peeked out of the blinds from the quiet hospital room on the very early morning. You scanned the hallway to see that it was empty, besides the lonesome nurse traveling down with a few clipboards to her side as her only company. You watched as she turned the corner and disappeared from sight, Dean shut the door when you gave him the signal as you reached for the wand and began turning it around, closing the blinds, allowing complete privacy from the very strange ritual that you were about to do.The three of you were occupying the room of Donnie Finnerman, a man who was the last kno vessel to the infamous archangel Raphael. He was once a healthy man who worked full time as a mechanic, but after saying yes for what he presumed to be for the greater good, the man remained now in a complete vegetable state, confined into a wheelchair as he stared off into space,the way doctors presumed he would live out the rest of his days. You felt sympathetic for him, the man didn't know what he was in after giving consent. You thought demons were soulless monsters, but it seemed angels didn't have a heart of gold, either.

Cas occupied himself by grabbing the pot from the table he previously set it down after arriving and began walking forward to the man, tracing his steps into a circle as he began pouring the oil all over the floor. As he walked, the angel explained what made this trap special. "When the oil burns, no angel can touch or pass through the flames, or he dies."

"Okay. So we trap him in a steel cage of holy fire. But, uh, one question," Dean said, bringing up an interesting point you wondered yourself. "How the hell do we get him here?"

"There's--well, almost an open phone line, between a vessel and his angel. One just has to know how to dial." Cas explained to the both of you. He set down the clay pot to the table and walked over to the man, where he then crouched down to his level. You furrowed your brow slightly in confusion, but it began to make sense of what he was doing when he began chanting something in a foreign language you couldn't understand, enochian, if you were correct. "I'm here, Raphael. Come and get me, you little bastard."

Cas ended the chant with a small threat, showing the archangel he wasn't afraid to see him again, even after what was done to him. He pushed himself into a standing position and walked over to you and Dean. "Just out of curiosity," You said, wondering how much longer this was going to take until this would begin. "the average customer wait time to speak to an archangel is...?"

"Be ready." Cas warned you.

The angel grabbed the matchbook from his trench coat pocket and pulled out a match. Striking the tip against the box, a small flame ignited, Cas threw it to the ground where he poured the oil, and not a second later, you watched as a ring of fire danced around the floor. You let out a quiet breath of reassurance as you crossed your arms over your chest, reassuring yourself that this was going to go smooth, and you weren't going to have to try and pick off fragments of skin or molars of Cas' vessel from your hair when Raphael decided to make his appearance.

+ + +

"Well, that's a day I'll never get back."

You rubbed your eyes from the passenger side of the Impala, trying your hardest not to fall asleep from the wasted hours spent standing around the hospital room. Darkness had fallen once more after you decided to call it quits when the plan Cas had come up with failed miserably. The three of you headed back to the house with the intent of grabbing your stuff and leaving, knowing it was pretty obvious Raphael didn't appear when called for. You got out of the car when it finally stopped and made your way for the front door first, not thinking much of it when you opened it up and took a step to head inside, but you stopped in your tracks when Cas jumped in front of you.

"Y/N, wait." Cas said, you gave him an annoyed glare for what he'd done.

Your attention was turned away from the angel when you looked ahead, knowing just a moment later what his warming was about. It seemed that you had a guest, and he wanted to make his appearance well known. The entire first floor of the house erupted with sparks when every single lightbulb exploded, sending fragments of glass flying into the air, making you flinch in surprise, but Cas stared straight on, his lips curling into the smallest of a smile, knowing his plan had worked.

"Castiel."

"Raphael."

"I mean, I thought you were supposed to be impressive." Dean followed behind you and Cas when you began walking forward to the archangel, but still keeping a safe distance away. "All you do is black out the room?"

"And the eastern seaboard." Raphael replied. Not a second later, a crash of thunder and strike of lighting came out of nowhere, you looked over your shoulder to see there was a storm brewing outside. You nervously swallowed as you slowly drew your gaze back to him. "It is a testament to my unending mercy that I don't smite you here and now."

"Or maybe you're full of crap." Dean said, deciding to push his luck to see how far he could go before seeing fatal consequences. Raphael seemed to be ever so slightly amused, he arched his vessel's brow. "Maybe you're afraid that God will bring Cas back to life again and smite

, you candy-ass skirt. By the way--Hi. I'm Dean."

"I know who you are. And this pathetic excuse of a human." Raphael said, your lips stretched into a frown when you noticed his gaze drifted your way. It seemed that he wasn't too concerned on making the best first impression. "And now, thanks to Castiel, I know where you are."

"You won't kill him. You sons of bitches you need him." You said. A bolt of lightening came from behind, enginititng the room into a brightness for just a moment. "You wouldn't dare."

Raphael agreed to a certain length of what you said, “But I will take him to Michael.”

"Well, that wounds terrifying. It does. But, uh, I hate to tell you," Dean spoke up, pretending to act casual about what was happening. You watched from the corner of your eye as the man began walking to the cooler right across the room. He bent down and pushed open the lid, snatching a beer to enjoy when he twisted off the top and threw it down to the ground, discarding it without a care. "I'm not going anywhere with you."

"Surely you remember Zachariah giving you stomach cancer and Y/N losing her lungs." Raphael said. Dean stopping sipping on his beer and turned back around in his spot, facing the archangel with a casual stare, pretending the times you and him faced were hilarious. "Yes, well...he doesn't have anything close to my imagination."

"Oh, yeah? I spent forty years in Hell and died too many times to remember. Try me." You weren't afraid of what kind of threat the angel dangled over your head. Your hand slipped into your back pocket, keeping your eye contact straight on as Raphael began to make the smallest steps forward to you, as if he was waiting for his chance to call your bluff. Dean anxiously looked over at Cas, wondering if this was going to work without this plan backfiring right in his face. "I bet you didn't imagine one thing."

"What?” Raphael asked you with the least bit of interest.

"We knew you were coming," You said with a growing smirk. "You stupid son of a bitch."

With the simple flick of your thumb, you worked the lighter fast enough to throw it towards the ground, exactly on the spot where Cas had poured the oil for a second plan, just in case the first one didn't exactly worked. You stepped back in caution as another ring of holy fire trapped Raphael in his spot, rendering him powerless. Dean wandered over to where you stood after he took notice of the nasty glare settling on the archangel's face from what had been done.

"Hey, don't look at me." Dean said, trying to defend himself by shifting the blame to Cas.  You couldn't help yourself but roll your eyes, momentarily caught off guard for how the Winchester was handling this. "It was his idea."

Cas asked the important question, the one which was why all of you were here. "Where is He?"

"God Didn't you hear? He's dead, Castiel. Dead." Raphael replied. None of you believed the information the archangel was saying, for there had to be more than what he was leading with, and it seemed he could sense your hesitance. "There's no other explanation. He's gone for good."

"You're lying." Cas said.

"Am I? Do you remember the twentieth century? Think the twenty-first is going any better?" Raphael questioned the other angel. "You think God would have let any of that happen if he were alive?"

You and the angel took a moment to ponder on what Raphael had said. There had been countless tragedies spanning the decades you learned in history class, not to mention the things you've seen just hunting. But Dean, being the man that he was, decided to make this conversation a little bit lighter by adding humor that was always timed perfectly wrong. "Oh, yeah? Well, then who invented the chinese basket trick?"

"Careful." Raphael warned the young man. "That's my father you're talking about, boy."

“Yeah, who would be so proud to know that his sons started the friggin' apocalypse." Dean said, not giving an ounce of sympathy for what he was hearing.

"Who ran off and disappeared." Raphael defend himself. "Who left no instructions and a world to run.

"So Daddy ran away and disappeared?" Dean asked, approaching the touchy subject with careless remarks after seeing a connection from yesterday's events. "He didn't happen to work for the post office, did he?"

Raphael wasn't the least bit amused from the hunter's humor he was quickly growing tired of with each passing second. "This is funny to you? You're living in a Godless universe."

"And? What--you and the other kids just decide to throw an apocalypse while he's gone?" Dean questioned the archangel with a bit of bite to his tone.

"We're tired. We just want it to be over. We just want..." Raphael wanted what both sides wanted, a way out to face the problems of humanity. "Paradise."

"So, what--God does and makes you the boss, and you think you can do whatever you want?" You found yourself asking a question, knowing there was so much at stake. "There's billions of people here you're going to kill because you’re too much of a coward to face responsibility. And you're okay with that?”

"Yes." Raphael's answer was what you should have expected. "And whatever we want, we get."

Before you realized what was happening, you heard a loud crashing sound, all before you were bending down to shield yourself from the shards of broken glass and wood that were aimed to your backside after Raphael retaliated, by breaking the window. The downpour from outside quickly came in, soaking you to the bone as the thunder continued on and the wind blew even harder. "If God is dead, why have I returned?" Cas asked, using the last point you had against the archangel to get the honest truth you wanted to hear. "Who brought me back?"

"Did it ever occur to you that maybe Lucifer raised you?" Raphael presumed, you could feel a terrible shiver run down your spine from the unwanted presumption. You knew the reaction wasn't caused from your freezing cold and soaking wet clothes. "Think about it. He needs all the rebellious angels he can find. You know it adds up."

Cas thought about it for a moment you knew it could be a possibility. Lucifer was an archangel, all though you might not know the extent of his abilities, you knew well enough he was a powerful one. And he would do anything to get what he wanted. But the other angel wasn't going to listen, he knew this lead was a dead end.

"Let's go." Cas said, nodding his head at you and Dean.

"Castiel." The archangel called out the other angel's name, making him stop in his tracks while he headed for the journey, making his escape while the three of you still could. "I'm warning you. Do not leave me here. I will find you."

"Maybe one day." Cas said, agreeing with the archangel on his threat. But he wasn't afraid for what was to come, because in this very moment, he controlled all the power, and he wanted to make it known. "But today, you're my little bitch."

You couldn't help yourself but let the smallest smile spread across your lips when you began following behind the angel to make your grand getaway, thinking you were leaving on a high note. Cas might not have gotten what he wanted, but he gained another, a little bit of revenge for what was done to him by Raphael. You made it just a few feet away from the door, but you stopped in your tracks when Dean spoke up, ruining that perfect moment. "What he said." Dean found himself quickly realizing what he said was quite useless, and a little bit awkward. You shook your head and began heading out into the storm, leaving the archangel trapped, hopefully long enough to make an escape before he could keep the promises of unimaginable torture.

+ + +

In the past few weeks since Sam made his unexplained departure, you sort of felt normal. You laid in the backseat of the Impala with your legs stretched out and your crumbled jacket, the one you snatched from the trunk, was used as a pillow while you tried drifting off to sleep. Everyone was silent, Dean in the driver's seat and Cas in the passenger side, the only noise was the occasional drizzle of rain and the humming of the engine. Slowly, you closed your eyelids, embracing the sleep that was calling your name. It was a minute later you heard the silence be broke from Dean's voice, and while his quiet tone didn't bother you, it was the curiosity to find out what both men were talking about that kept you alert.

"Hey, man, you okay?" Dean asked out of concern, but the angel didn't answer. He kept staring out the window and to the empty road ahead of them, sort of what Sam did when he was too upset to talk. "Look, I'll be the first to tell you that this little crusade of yours is nuts, but, I do know a little something about missing fathers."

"What do you mean?" Cas asked.

"I mean there were times when I was looking for my dad when all logic said he was dead. But I knew, in my heart, that he was still alive." Dean said, sharing a bit of information that he rarely shared with anyone in hopes it would help the angel gain some confidence after the failed interrogation. "Who cares what some ninja torture says, Cas? What do you believe?"

Cas delayed his answer, keeping a moment of silence between the both of them before admitting his true feelings. "I believe he's out there."

"Good." Dean said. "Then go find him."

The angel contemplated about taking up the offer to leave once more to continue his journey. But he felt something different in the air, a sense of strangeness kept Cas in the passenger's side seat where Sam should have been. "What about you?"

"What about me? I don't know.” Dean admitted. With a little more bit process to his emotions, the hunter changed his answer to a better one that felt right. "Honestly? I'm good. I can't believe I'm saying that, but I am. I'm...I'm really good."

“Even without your brother?” Cas asked, bringing up the dreaded question.

"Especially without my brother. I mean, I spent so much time worry about the son of a bitch. Not to mention the bomb he dropped on me after he left about Y/N. It’s better that he stays away. I’ve had more fun with you and Y/N in the past twenty-four hours than I've had with Sam in years. And you're not that much fun.” Dean said, finding himself rambling off into thought, not sure where the honesty stopped, and the lying began. "It's funny. You know, I've been so chained to my family, pushing off what I really want for them. But now that it's just Y/N and me...hell, I'm happy.”

Dean found himself smiling at the thought he had only once dreamed of when it came to sharing a life with you, the more logical one. He enjoyed the past few weeks of focusing on hunting and spending the quiet nights alone with you, with no worries of his little brother to disturb the moment. Yet the happiness could only last for so long, there were only so many lies one could tell themselves before they stopped believing. Dean turned his gaze away from the road to look at the passenger side, expecting to see Cas there, quietly listening like Sam always used to, but the seat was empty.

[ourloveisforthelovely]

Things Forbidden 2

A/N: Smut in this chapter 

Words: 2,705

______________________

“Nice to see you too Zoe.”

Zoe’s frowned hard.

“Not nice to see you Gabriel.”

Luna turned looking at Loki. His face was pale and eyes wide as he looked between Luna and Zoe.

“You haven’t told her the truth?!! You lying angelic asshole! You have lied to my niece to get her to love you?!!”

Gabriel golden eyes looked coldly at Zoe before flickering to Luna.

“Okay, what is going on here?”

Luna asked calmly. It was in this moment Gabriel wished that she would yell. The look of confusion and disappointment on her face was something that he couldn’t handle. For some reason he had lost the ability to talk as well. Every time he would think of something legitimately good to say it sounded lame. Zoe meanwhile, could talk just fine.

“Luna, you aren’t with some trickster. This is the archangel Gabriel who apparently hadn’t grown up one bit.”

Luna put her hand over her mouth. Zoe glared between the two of them.

“Yes sweetie that Gabriel.”

Sam, who had came into the room looked slightly concerned himself.

“Zoe I think you need to let them talk.”

Zoe shook her head as did Dean.

“He isn’t going anywhere with her.”

Dean said icily. Sam rolled his eyes before running a hand through his hair.

“You’re treating her just like you did when I was in love with Ruby.”

Dean looked even more disgusted.

“Apparently you two just make really bad relationship choices and need to remain single the rest of your lives”

Luna who had finally regained the sense to speak shook her head.

“Enough! What I do with my life is my business. You all are my family and I love each of you! But who are you all to tell me who I should and shouldn’t love? You’re relationships aren’t very orthodox themselves.”

Cas looked up from his shoes finally.

“We don’t lie to each other though.”

Zoe nodded.

“Twat waffle there has been lying to you for ages!”

Gabriel rolled his eyes.

“That’s original. Did you come up with that yourself?”

Luna turned.

“Enough! I mean it. From all of you….stop acting like children! Gabriel we do need to talk. Come on.”

She reached out grabbing his hand pulling the archangel toward her car. Zoe was quickly walking behind them.

“NO! You two are not going off together!”

Sam sighed quickly walking forward wrapping his arms around the angel holding her back.

“He’ll bring her back. Calm down. You can’t tell her what to do forever.”

Zoe growled.

“Like hell I can!”

Sam gently shook her.

“Zoe listen to yourself! Let them talk this out! Gabriel, like it or not, is a good match for Luna. I get why you are pissed but you can’t order Luna around all of her life! Come inside and relax. When she gets home we will all sit down and talk like rational adults.”

Meanwhile,

Gabriel sat silently beside Luna as she sped down the dark Kansas road. Neither had said anything for a few moments. This was the most silent moment they had ever shared.

“Sugar, where are we going?”

Gabriel asked gently. Luna didn’t even advert her eyes from the road.

“What does it matter?”

Gabriel sighed.

“Getting in cars with mad girls is a bad idea.”

Luna pursed her pink lips.

“You lied to me.  Was all of this a lie?”

Gabriel shook his head looking down at his lap.

“No. I love you Luna.”

Luna didn’t say it back for once instead she was silent. She didn’t make any facial expression as she drove quietly. Gabriel sighed realizing he just might have fucked everything up beyond repair. He wanted to get out of the car and just disappear again. Luna would forget him soon enough and could find a better lover.

He hated everything about himself at the moment. Everything that was right was wrong. Just like Gabriel has envisioned all the good had came crashing down in a gigantic heap of destruction!

Gabriel tried to think of anything to get himself out of his head. The radio’s gentle hum didn’t help at all and the lyrics were like a kick in the balls…

You’re out of touch I’m out of time But I’m out of my head when you’re not around You’re out of touch I’m out of time But I’m out of my head when you’re not around

Luna’s hand wrapping around his pulled Gabriel from his thoughts. He looked down to see her tiny hand actually intertwined with his. It wasn’t a figment of his imagination.

“I love you too. I just want to truth. Why did you lie to me?”

Gabriel sighed.

“Various reasons. I have been hiding who I am for a very long time. I also didn’t want you to think I was with you because I wanted your mother. I wanted to you to see that I wanted you. If that meant me being someone else I was willing to do that. Damn I sound like some creeper.”

Luna chuckled at that.

“I can buy those reasons. I want to know what happened with my mother though. You owe me the truth.”

Gabriel nodded to a parking lot.

“Pull over baby.”

Luna pulled into the empty shopping mall parking lot. Shutting off the car she turned to face the archangel beside her. Gabriel took a breath before taking Luna’s hand back in his.

“I didn’t used to be the nicest of guys sugar. When I was paired with your mother the last thing I did was remain faithful. Rosalie and I just weren’t a good match. Friend wise we were fine. Husband and wife was a big hell no. She had enough of my behavior, which I don’t blame her on now and wanted the bond severed. I did it because I thought it’s what was best. I wanted her to be happy. I blame myself for a lot of what happened to her. Just because you’re not with someone anymore doesn’t mean that you stop caring. When I heard Raphael and Michael was again after her I begged your mother to take you and run. You were a toddler then that was the last time I saw you until a few months ago. I even tried to get Rose to let me keep the two of you and your tax accountant of a father safe. Luna, your mother was so damn stubborn. She said it wasn’t my responsibility anymore. I was so mad after that I just stopped talking to her. I ran…just like I am good at. 4 years later she was dead and like I said I haven’t stopped blaming myself. Zoe thinks I am some asshole that abandoned your mother. She doesn’t know the half of it. There was a lot that happened. There's a lot more that is hard to explain. I was also playing double agent with Lucifer. Zoe and the others don't know that. Your mother only found out when we ran into each other a few years after I left her. At this point she was married to your father. She understood everything after I explained it and said she would keep everything secret. Rosalie and I kept everything between us after our separation secret.  I don’t love her like I love you. I’ve never loved anyone like I love you Luna. Whether you believe that or not is on you. If you don’t want to see me again I get it.”

Gabriel looked away from Luna and stared out the window. Luna sat motionless a moment before undoing her seatbelt and climbing across onto Gabriel’s lap.

“You stubborn stubborn trickster of an archangel! I still want you!”

Gabriel’s golden eyes rolled to hers.

“Sugar I…”

Luna’s lips were crammed against his stopping Gabriel from continuing his sentence. This kiss was different. In ways it felt almost like almost felt like a first kiss that quickly escalated into a long hungry passion filled make out session. Luna’s fingers were tangled in Gabriel’s golden curls tugging. She was thankful to see that he triggers when it came to passion were still the same whether he was Loki or Gabriel.

“Gabriel, I need you.”

The archangel moaned as he pushed her skirt up enough to undo his jeans. He stopped looking at her carefully. If she were any other woman he would have been tearing into her.

“Are you sure you want that? I mean like now? Aren’t you going to ground me from sex or something and I have to be a miserable whinny bastard for a few days?”

Luna pressed a series of kisses to his jaw line giggling. Her fingers traced down his chest stopping as they came in contact with the tip of his now noticeable erection. Gabriel hissed as her fingers stroked over his length a few times.

“Yes I want it. You’ve explained what happened. There is no point in dragging this out. You said sorry this is where we have make up sex and go about our business.”

Gabriel chuckled as he snapped his fingers making her panties disappear.

“That’s my girl.”

He cooed before reaching down and leaning the seat back a slightly. Gabriel’s hands cupped her breasts pressing kisses to the exposed parts of her chest.

“This shirt has been teasing me since you opened that door. It will look better on the floor of the bedroom later.”

Luna pressed her hips harder into Gabriel’s.

“Don’t leave me tonight Gabriel.”

“I’m not leaving you again. I don’t care what your lovely family has to say either. They can get used to me or they can get over it. I could always just throw you over my shoulder and take you with me.”

Luna looked pleased with that as they went back to kissing. She whimpered going to situate herself on his lap so Gabriel could push inside instead she banged her head on the ceiling of the car.

“Ow!”

She whimpered holding her head as Gabriel pressed his hand to the top of her head making the pain go away. He leaned he seat back a little further trying to find some kind of leverage.

“Boy the movies make this look so easy. Good thing I am not some tall mother fucker or this would be really difficult!”

Luna chuckled as he tried to pull his tight Levi’s down taking extra care to not hurt her again in the process.

“I picked a hell of a day to wear tight jeans.”

Gabriel grumbled trying to pull his arm back carefully. He tugged a little harder this time however, his elbow went back causing the glass to crack. Both Gabriel and Luna sat motionless with wide eyes before bursting into fits of giggles.

“Well damn how are we going to explain that one? Sorry we were trying to fuck each other and this happened or bats man…a bat hit the window.”

Gabriel said sheepishly. Luna laughed hard pressing her face into his neck.

“Stop making me laugh. Neither one of us is going to get off at this rate. We’ll go with the bats.”

“Bats it is.”

Gabriel said softly. He took his cock in his hand jerking himself a few times to get back to the state he was in before.

“Now sugar?”

He asked with pouting puppy eyes. Luna nodded raising her hips again. This time she took care not to smack her head on the ceiling. She took Gabriel like a band-aid from tip to base in one motion. Gabriel moaned fighting the urge to yank her down to pound into her mercilessly. Instead, he gave her gently thrusts making sure not to break anymore windows or cause any damage in the process. Luna wrapped her arms around Gabriel’s neck. Her body clenched hearing him panting in her ear.

“I’ll give you a good fucking later. We can sound proof that room of yours and I’ll make you scream. Damn it sugar this is a little difficult. Only good part is I’m totally ball deep right now and can fuck you crazy deep.”

Luna gasped, knowing Gabriel was trying to make her come. The car sex was definitely more difficult than she had expected it to be.

“Luna…sugar…I can’t…”

Luna reached out biting down on his ear earning a low growl. Kissing down his neck she gently bit down as she tightened her body she felt Gabriel come hard. She knew his kinks and biting was one of his favorites. He didn’t care to walk around with love bites littering his neck and body.  

She gasped when she felt Gabriel’s hand on her clit.

“Come for me sugar. I know you felt me come inside you. You’re all mine Luna. No one is going to touch you like I do. Come now…”

Luna cried out coming undone in his arms. They sat in a sweaty heap not ready to move for a few moments.

“So that was making love to an archangel?”

Luna asked with as smirk. She felt Gabriel smile against her shoulder.

“You haven’t seen anything yet sugar. You’ve had the trickster special but now its time for the archangel special. Come on baby. Let’s go get you some dinner or something.”

30 minutes later, Gabriel and Luna sat at a quiet diner.

“I have to say fucking in a car was almost a disaster. They made it look too easy in Titanic.”

Gabriel smirked giving her an eyebrow wiggle.

“I didn’t hear you complaining when you were crying my name sweet cheeks.”

Luna blushed looking down at their again intertwined hands. Gabriel was busy watching her face. He loved watching her blush. Gabriel was so lost in the moment of watching his lover he hadn’t heard the door in the diner open and close. He didn’t give a damn about any of the other people in the restaurant. Tonight his eyes were only on his princess.

The happy moment changed when Luna’s face went from happy to sheer horror.

“Gabriel….its him….the angel that killed my mom and dad.”

Gabriel’s golden eyes went wide before he resumed his cool composure. He turned slightly in the bench seeing none other than Raphael standing in the doorway. Gabriel quickly turned knowing his brother could sense him.

“Get under the table Luna. I’ll keep you safe. Don’t make a sound.”

Luna nodded with wide petrified as she slid down into the floor huddling her self beside Gabriel’s legs. She trembled as a pair of legs approached their table. It was like reliving the most awful night of her life when the fancy dress shoes stopped and faced her direction. Hearing his voice made her heart pound.

“Gabriel.”

She slightly jumped when she felt Gabriel’s hand soothingly rub her shoulder. From where she sat she could see his face clearly.

“Raphael.”

Gabriel kept his voice even as his older brother gave him a cold grimace.

“I didn’t know you were back in America. Looking for anything interesting?”

Gabriel shook his head using an illusion to keep Luna hidden. If Raphael looked under the table he would only see his brother’s feet.

“Nah…just enjoying my freedom. You should enjoy it sometime.”

Luna meanwhile, was taking deep even breaths. Gabriel’s voice sounded almost foreign to her. Raphael chuckled.

“Enjoy it while you can little brother. Soon you’ll be back in heaven taking your place where you are meant to be.”

Gabriel frowned.

“Beside your psycho ass? I’ll take a rain check on that.”

Raphael looked less than pleased with his little brother’s sassy comment.

“I’ll cash in on that soon Gabriel. Remember that Lucifer isn’t here to keep you safe anymore. If you see Luna it will be in your best interest to inform me of the girl’s whereabouts.”

Raphael was no fool. He knew that Gabriel and Luna were an item. The fiery look in his younger brother’s eyes told him everything that he needed to know.

“I’ll tell you nothing.”

Gabriel growled. Raphael raised an eyebrow as he turned to walk toward the door.

“We’ll see Gabriel. You aren’t the spoiled protected child that you used to be. Also it will be Michael and myself against you. Two against one isn’t a good number. See you soon brother.”

_____________

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