#i mean phil is a real person

[koritheunknown]

This is Bill Goodwill from wolf walkers, he is а father

_________________

This is philza or Phil my digital father

Coincidence? I think not.

[mr-mr-mr-mr-mr]

Can you tell I'm on a phiero kick? :3

@elena-illustration thank you sm for the picrews ☺️ I love them sm

The options in picrew can be extremely limited when your character has a skin tone that is not a common type of paper like pls bestie

Anyway Nero is wasian (Japanese and... damn i have to ask his writer again) and Phil is Samoan

LOOK AT HOW FUCKING SEXY AND SCURRY HE IS

AND THEN PHIL IS THWRE AND HE'S A PUPPY I'M GONNA CSJSJJSIDDJ

(I love the picrew's option for this too. Has me

[ahalliance]

im watching étoiles valo and i’ll probably be too lazy to vod later but it sounds to me like a tubbo cubito is once again going through the Paranoia Horrors <3 but like that specific paranoia where your seemingly outlandish theories and thoughts actually have a decent amount of truth to them and it’s just the way they manifest/are expressed that is rooted in distrust and fear

[strawbabycowboy]

.

[cafecdramin]

A compilation of ACTUAL things Dan has said to/about Phil that makes me want to set myself on fire:

You're my plinth of life

You look good there, you look strong, you look powerful [...] you look lovely

I mean, Phil, your biceps are wonderful and you have nothing to be ashamed of, okay?

I think your personality is too adorable for it

I know us better than you do

You are an amazing morale booster and you're really fun an nice

You are so unique and amazing that no art can ever capture your essence

You have to get prepared to revenge my death and give me the rub rubs to bring me back up

I think the universe would rip in half, let's not try [going further apart]

And Phil, something I talk about is the importance of having people to support you and that's been you, throughout my life. Through the little existential crisis, you've been there feeding me snacks, and as annoying as you have been, at least you've been there

I will find you in any world, Phil!

Obviously we were more than friends, but it was more than just romantic, this is someone that genuinely liked me, I trusted them, and for the first time since I was a tiny child I actually felt safe. And the relationship that we formed at that point was something that I needed in my life. We are real best friends, companions through life, like, actual soulmates

We’re like two 4,000-year-old tortoises just silently chewing grass, staring into the sunset.

Your fucking faves could never have that chemistry day one! Show me your favorite duo, I'll wait, I'll sit the fuck right here!

Best friends, arch enemies, husbands, business partners, partners in crime, soul mates, just mates, who the fuck knows?

Remote crisis manager

Moon butt

These little nuggets

[everything-is-as-it-was]

Just rewatched the first (!!) pizza mukbang video and Oh God I Am So Fond of This Work of Art. (this is a long one sorry!!)

Does it ever occur to you... they owned their house at this time. They were building it. They knew they were going to own their phorever home together. god

Dan knew he was going to come out. That was his next big project. The fact that he even talks about how he's (at that time) growing and changing rapidly as a person all the time... he was doing so much.

Phil's whole vibe of gently shutting Dan's pessimistic comments is everything to me. Obv the most famous one is the 'you ever feel like you don't have a personality?' but it happens so many more times and it just makes me love phil so much he's so gentle

side note- when Dan talks about how he was thinking about saying 'eating ass' in his Living My Truth video Phil's face goes BLANK it's incredibly funny

When Phil says 'there was a moment, about a month before we did it, that I didn't think it was going to happen, in a way.' And knowing the context behind that, the fact that Dan was breaking down because he wanted to come out and felt like he couldn't, GOD. And the way Phil phrases it too, how even after Dan says 'because I was having a mental breakdown!' he goes on to say how it was a lot of things, not just that. True love or whatever idegaf

And there's so many times where Dan will jump in to clarify what Phil's saying- like when Phil talks about how he liked hearing people laugh in real time, and Dan jumps in to say how he's not saying that in a 'it's more gratifying to feel clapping' way. And again, this happens multiple times!! I feel like it just shows how in tune they are, how Dan knows what Phil means and how that might be misconstrued, and wants to make sure everyone else knows what he means too.

SO MUCH soft launch. The hand on the thigh. The "eating ass." The wide hips comment. The Zac Efron comment. Jesus.

I love the imagery of them sat on the couch trying to watch the handmaid's tale and Phil is absolutely losing it crying so Dan switches it to something happier. I mean I guess 'love' might not be the best word but it's just so sweet

D: "I panic about everything all the time." P: "Why are you worried?" D: "I don't know." -- man knowing the context of everything this hits hard

The way Phil challenges him when he says "i think I could just live in a hole" is- idek how to describe it. It's so matter-of-fact, so, "I know how you get, so I'm approaching this from a logical perspective because I know how to reason with you." ugh.

Anyhow sorry this was massive!! So so so many thoughts about this wonderful video and feel free to discuss/disagree with me :) I love any opportunity to yap loll

[paused-waterfall]

I want to talk about how the qsmp federation dinner blended canon and non-canon "storylines", and just how effective that was for engaging Philza "the fourth wall is for other people and I'll sneak away mid-lore" Minecraft: Those who don't watch Philza streams might not know, but cc!Phil identifying when his eggs are not his eggs is a regular occurrence. He knows when Chayanne's admin is portraying Cucurucho, and when Tallulah's admin is subbing in to play Chayanne. Phil keeps track of which admin is which as a means of judging what scenarios are safe for them. He knows what skills he's taught them and even some of the hardware limitations they're working with. So when someone else steps in to play them, its a risk, because it means he doesn't know how his kids are going to act.

Philza takes about a minute and a half to call out "Tallulah" as not his egg. But if you watch closely, you can see that it took him less than 15 seconds to identify that the wrong person was playing her. Early in the dinner (4:52:50 on Phil's stream), Philza noticed and pointed out to his chat that the chef was lagging in a way that Tallulah normally lags. When "Tallulah" shows up to the dinner, there's a moment when he looks away from her-- he's not scanning for threats, he's checking that the chef was still around. And then giving a knowing look straight to camera. For a bit after that, he keeps looking back at the chef and talking to "Tallulah" like she's real. Because what cc!Phil hasn't decided at that point is whether or not this is canon. He knows the admins have to switch around for practical reasons, which have never been canon before.

But it's already a risk. This might be q!Tallulah, but it definitely isn't the Tallulah that cc!Phil knows how to predict and protect. All of the earnest, half-in-character conversations between Phil and Tallulah's admin about how they both want to keep her safe and how best to accomplish that are suddenly for naught, because the wrong person is on the other side of that screen.

While most of the characters and audience got to doubt reality when the eggs transformed, the same sort of process happened for cc!Phil and his chat as soon as the eggs showed up. What we were doubting was the line between canon and non-canon, but it tapped into much the same emotions while overriding the tongue-in-cheek approach to canon that normally holds sway in Phil's streams.

It's just so cool to see storytellers embrace the limitations of the medium to enhance the story they're telling like this. What a fun stream that was!

[astradyke]

I would adore a deep dive into your thoughts on Phil’s quiet but wonderful way of showing his love for Dan being through photos

hi, i’m sorry i’m responding so late to this, but i really appreciate you enabling me here because i do seriously think about this constantly. i don’t know if i have the words to articulate it, though, so… bear with me. i'd quite like to try.

nobody loves in just a singular way, that’s the preface to this. when i say that Dan loves through words and Phil loves through photography, i don’t mean that Dan doesn’t use photography as an act of love— because there is a polaroid, in their house, of Phil that Dan took— and i don’t mean that Phil has never said something profound about Dan, because we all remember how he talked about Dan’s book at the end of the haircut video (19:13). i, at the very least, never really left the parts at the end of what Dan and Phil Text Each Other 2 where Phil constantly amplifies the work Dan is trying to do, unmasking his own frustrations at the struggles Dan has to experience, and meets Dan's self deprecation with affection (here's that dissertation) (19:57). Dan may use words in a very abstract, artistic way, professing his love for Phil as a ‘soulmate’, an unmatched connection, but Phil still has a careful, casual way of endlessly maneuvering himself to stand by Dan’s side. etc. and of course, there are five thousand other ways to adore a person. Dan and Phil do a little bit of everything; we are lucky to see a spare few snippets.

all that said, let’s talk about photography, yeah?

there is a permanence to photography, even if it’s not always a tangible permanence. they are timestamps, living commitments; i refuse to accept the idea that photography is somehow a ‘stand in’ to ‘true human connection’, rather than a critical facet of it. ex. i know that my best friend is real even if i didn’t have a photo of him sitting beside me on a wayward bus, but it’s still important that i inscribed that memory distinctly into the fabric of my life by taking a moment to chronicle it.

Phil Lester uses photography as a way to immortalize a thousand different fragments of his forever with Dan. there’s a distinct thought process, right, to see someone you love and decide— i never want to lose this moment. that decision, in of itself, is enough of a love confession, but there’s another layer when you decide, on top of all of it, i want the entire world to see this. when Dan described his love for Phil as "more than just romantic", he opened up a piece of himself to show the world, this is how i love this person. this is how i see him. when Dan calls Phil bubby, or dear, this is him cracking a hard exterior to say this is how i see you.

the two of them, upon first meeting, took a selfie together at the Apple store— Phil was the one to press the button. when they sat at the top of the sky-bar, Phil was the one to take a photo of Dan amidst the golden hour light. maybe he didn’t know that Dan loved him back, yet, but he had a certainty in his own adoration of Dan— that regardless of whether Dan wanted him back, Phil wanted him. the image feels timid but assured, like swallowing down anxiety to look yourself in the mirror; you can feel that through the pixels of it, so transparently. Phil’s love of Dan was not conditioned on anything: it was a terrifying but beautiful thing, and he wanted to preserve it, so even if it all went wrong he could say this is how i loved you. this is how you are loved, to me. you don’t have to want me back, but know that you were wanted, here, crawling into your own head sitting across from me in a city i’d like to call home with you, someday. so let me. and when you look at this photo of heart eyes Howell, cradling a bear, it’s louder than a blood rush: i love you.

[ID: Dan Howell sitting in the sunlight, looking outside the window while holding his phone. end ID.]

[ID: Dan Howell in a fuzzy hat, holding a stuffed bear against his face and looking at the camera with a small smile. end ID]

(sorry. it was necessary to include).

every year, Phil spills this oath into his camera roll. when Dan’s birthday arrives, Phil has a thousand candids to show for it, a thousand of silly and unflattering photos— a “loving” selection (7:41). exposing my heart a little here, but when you are someone who struggles with insecurity at some level, photos of you that are unflattering circling around feels horrifying. you want to be composed, and pretty, and loved— but then, maybe, it settles in that you are loved someplace beyond conditions. Phil chronicles these casual, vulnerable moments with Dan, and he shares them, because he loves Dan to a level past the flat logic of if he is composed, if he is pretty, then he is loved. Dan may be unattractive at points, but he is never unloved. never again.

these photos also demonstrate how much Phil romanticizes the little moments with Dan. watching him play Skyrim in VR; sitting beside him while he plays Elden Ring (3:40); admiring an oddly-shaped tear in his pants (missing citation); taken aback by a large poodle jumping into his lap. there are hundreds of photos of Dan taken by Phil which have escaped. imagine how many more linger. if we can go off of this (admittedly horrifying) tweet, we can envision a camera roll overflowing with him.

when they go on vacation, Phil takes soft photographs of Dan. here’s this love in a new city, just like we did fifteen years ago in Manchester, before i knew the right way to hold your hand, the right way to counter your cynicism, the right way to systemically reject every pet name because saying your name like a promise is enough— i’m putting this love into the world because i no longer live in a world where i go a second without it. Phil saves photos of Dan looking at him like he hung the stars, and he saves photos of Dan walking in front of him— he would never save them, as an Orpheus, but thankfully he doesn’t have to anymore, not after 2019— and he saves photos of Dan happy, because he wants to save that, too. Phil will save photos from every era of Dan’s life, but he wants those photos the most.

Phil has seen Dan perform in front of thousands. he has seen Dan pass out from standing up too quickly in their living room. he has seen Dan stumble home from a unexpected solo walk, he has seen Dan try to hide his fear-to-death in Phil’s childhood bedroom, he has seen Dan try to use a laundry machine, he has seen Dan in every way a person could: i love you.

Dan knows all of this. Dan sends Phil photos of himself when he’s solo traveling for his tour; the two of them almost never call, not unless Dan’s in a cab, but they regularly facetime. Dan winces at old photos of himself, but Phil coos at them.

Phil Lester is a romantic. he likes to hold his love to his chest— sharing photographs, but careful not to share too much. i think we under-estimate the shift Phil had to make, sometimes, in 2019: coming out was a major deal to him, too, even if he had already been out to some. more than that, coming out while Dan was also out is a very different experience. still, he likes to stay private, which is why we’ve not seen what i imagine to be hundreds of photos of Dan in Phil’s arms, or Dan kissing him on the cheek, or Dan asleep beside him in his bed (because we know how often he takes photos of Dan asleep, but i can't even begin to get into that right now).

even still, from what we can see, God, it’s everything, isn’t it? i can’t imagine what it felt like, for Dan, first trying to reconcile all of this. when you go so long without experiencing a safe kind of love, your reality fundamentally shifts. everything is brittle: you have to be hard enough to survive it, but not too hard to break the little you have entirely. half of you is a secret, the other half of you feels like it should be— who you are shifts, when you are loved, so in the reverse: when you go so long without it you feel displaced internally. when you find that love, you throw yourself entirely into it, expecting nothing but wanting everything. you punch a wall only to feel the plaster cradle your touch; you tell yourself you’d never turn back and you hate that need to; you expect to hit the sea but the wax never seems to melt. impossibly, you are okay. maybe i showed too much of my own heart there, but when i look at 2009 Dan, i see all of that. eighteen years old, and for the first time since he was a tiny child, he actually felt safe.

because Phil says Dan like it’s the sweetest word in the world. because Phil has a hunger for everything Dan creates. because Phil held Dan when he dropped out of university, picked up his first radio job with him, moved in with him, and never left. because Phil never treated Dan like an experience to hide away. Phil loved parts of Dan back into life.

because Phil takes photographs of Dan, everywhere in his life, to say: this is my world, now. you can’t take a photo in the daylight without capturing the sun. you can’t take a photo in the nighttime without capturing the absence of it. Phil says Dan’s name in every video, and he takes another hundred photos, because he’s so fucking sure about this love. there’s not even a question to be asked.

this is only a fraction of what there is to say about it, some messily constructed analysis, but it's hard to capture. i'd call Dan a lucky bastard, but it's hardly luck, is it? Phil makes the decision to love Dan every single day, and it might look quiet, but it's so unfathomably loud.

[xoxoladyaz]

AU-gust, Day 6: Domestic

Eddie Munson was a rockstar. Eddie Munson was a renegade. Eddie Munson was a bad boy, living life on the edge, destined for wild nights on the open road, for success and fame and riches. Eddie Munson was – 

“ – ridiculous.”

“Excuse me?” Eddie whirled around from psyching himself up in the mirror to glare at Jeff. Jeff, who had the utter nerve to roll his eyes at him.

“You’re being ridiculous, man,” Jeff repeated.

“He’s not being ridiculous, he’s being a baby,” Gareth cut in with a snort.

Eddie gaped at his two best friends, his musketeers, his brothers in arms. “What – I – how dare you! I am not being a baby, I’m Eddie fucking Munson, I’m a high-rolling freak on the streets and in the sheets - ”

“Dude, gross.”

“ – who’s ready to rock across America!” He finished emphatically.

Jeff just quirked his eyebrow at him. “You’re literally pouting right now.”

“No, I’m not!”

Jeff and Gareth shared a look before sighing in tandem. “You’ve gone to bed before eleven every night the last few weeks. The rest of us aren’t even out of the venue by the time you’re asleep,” Gareth started.

“Not to mention the fact that you can’t do anything in the morning until you’ve called and talked to Steve,” Jeff continued.

“And if you can’t talk to Steve during his lunch break then you’re grumpy for the rest of the day.”

“You keep complaining about the fact that none of his shirts smell like him anymore - ”

“ – seriously, you threw a temper tantrum until Stu stopped and bought a bottle of his shitty cologne for you to spray on your pillow - ”

“ – and you keep making super long and sappy speeches about missing your ‘sweetheart’ every single performance before we play ‘Faithfully’ - ”

“ – it’s embarrassing dude, we’re a metal band!”

“ – and to top it all off, you literally can’t go more than three minutes without talking about Steve or what Steve would think of what we’re driving by and God forbid you make any sort of decision without talking to Steve first.”

Eddie stood frozen, paralyzed by the heat rushing towards his face. “I – I do not!”

Phil walked in from the back of the bus and chuckled. “Dude, you literally called him to ask if you should order ketchup or mustard with your burger last night.”

“I - ” Eddie sputtered before crossing his arms. “I – he was having burgers too and I wanted us to match!”

“Awww,” Gareth cooed mockingly, fluttering his eyes back at Eddie. “That’s so sweet.”

“Ignore him,” Jeff said, shoving Gareth off of his chair. “For the record, it is really sweet, man. So why are you trying to hide it with all this ‘bad boy of rock and roll stuff?’”

“What do you mean ‘hide it?’ I’ve always been a bad boy.”

Silence. (If they weren’t on a moving bus and had their windows open, it would have been the perfect moment for a symphony of crickets to kick in.)

Eddie squeezed his arms against his chest and pouted (and yes, he knew he was pouting this time, thank you very much.) “Rude.”

Jeff rose with a sigh and crossed the tour bus. When he reached Eddie he threw his arm around him in a half-hug. “Eds, my man, I love you, but you’ve only ever been scary looking.”

“Seriously, you’re the sappiest guy I know,” Gareth added unhelpfully.

“And before you say that’s not metal,” Jeff kept going (and yeah, he knew Eddie pretty well to head off that train of thought), “that’s what sets us apart from the rest of the bands on the scene.”

“What does?”

“You being a super loving guy, man,” Phil nodded with a dazed look in his eyes. “Truthfully, I think love is the most metal thing of all. It can change the world.”

“Wow,” Gareth snorted after a few moments, “have you gotten up close and personal with Mary Jane already today?”

“Well, yeah, but - ”

“What Phil is trying to say is that you’re made of love, dude. And it’d be a real shame if you lost track of that, especially because that’s what we love about you, and that’s what Steve loves about you,” Jeff finished. He squeezed Eddie’s shoulder comfortingly before letting go.

“You’re right,” Eddie rubbed his hands against his arms. “I know you’re right, it’s just – this was supposed to be what I wanted, you know? Touring and fame and the open road. But - ”

Jeff prodded him gently. “But?”

“But I miss Steve,” Eddie sighed. “I miss seeing him come home every day. I miss waking up next to him every morning and falling asleep next to him every night. I miss his delicious pasta dinners and his burned pancakes because he always burns them and I just – I don’t know how much longer I can keep doing this. I just miss him. But I don’t want to give up what we have either.”

The boys were silent for a moment, looking amongst each other and back at Eddie, who was wilting in on himself.

“Well,” Phil started, “we don’t have to tour like this. We could just do weekends maybe?”

“Or summers,” Jeff hummed thoughtfully. “That way Steve can come with us.”

“And Will!” Gareth perked up, grinning. “He doesn’t take classes in the summers, he’d be able to come with us then.”

“And that way by the time we’re done touring, Steve will be headed back to work and you can be home with him,” Jeff nodded, like it was decided. “We can definitely make that work.”

Eddie’s voice was small and quiet when he spoke. “You’d really do that for me?”

“I mean, it wouldn’t be just ‘for you,’ it would be good for all of us, but yeah, man. We just want you to be happy. That’s way more important than any tour.”

Eddie nodded once, twice, and then he was throwing his arms around Jeff and tackling him to the floor. “Thank you thank you thank you, you guys are the best, Steve’s gonna be so excited I gotta go tell him RIGHT NOW - ” and then Eddie was off, whooping happily into the back of the tour bus.

Jeff sat up from his spot now on the floor and exchanged looks with Gareth and Phil. “You’re good with that, yeah?”

“Dude, if Eddie wasn’t going to say anything, I was,” Gareth shook his head. “Eddie’s way less of a slob when Steve’s around.”

“And he’s a great cook! I’m getting tired of all this Taco Bell.”

“Speak for yourself, Phil!” Gareth growled, affronted, and the three remaining Corroded Coffin members began arguing about the nutritional benefits of Taco Bell.

(When they finally went on tour again the following summer it was a much better experience for everyone involved. Eddie was almost constantly in a good mood, Gareth didn’t feel the need to strangle Eddie for hogging the phone, Phil ate his weight in homemade – or hotel-made – pasta, and Jeff? Jeff got to enjoy himself without any worries about his best friend losing his way, because anytime Eddie got a little stressed or in his head, all it took was one look at Steve and he was okay, and that was more than worth the crowded tour bus.)

[fryday]

genuinely because i've only seen that one photo and also see it over and over as i scroll down my dash, blonde phil has become like an abstract idea of a concept, just some pixels constructed into a visual on my screen that could or could not mean anything at all. it's like when you say a word too many times and it doesn't sound real anymore. to actually reactivate my brain re: what phlonde really is i have to see it in video format, in motion, and paired with the phil personality™️ before i'll be convinced again that any of this really exists in a meaningful way

[anarchy-and-piglins]

So, concept for a dark SBI au with that trope I mentioned about SBI literally 'humanizing' Techno.

All of SBI are superheroes. They work for the hero association.

Phil is the oldest on the team. He joined the hero association very early on, wanting to be part of something genuinely exciting and new. And he got to witness firsthand how the association started out with such good intentions, but quickly went the way of all operations that have government and money involved. Despite this, he stays on. Because he wants to make a difference.

Wilbur, his only son, followed in Phil's footsteps. He's a bit of a 'the ends justify the means' guy and does the hero work mostly because he thinks it's fun, but Phil is just proud his son is having a good time while also helping people.

Tommy, youngest on the team, is a real hero. He wants to save people. He's excitable and eager and quick on his feet, and was put in the team because he needs more experienced heroes to balance him out and learn.

And then there's Techno.

Techno is a little different, in that he never chose to become a hero willingly like the other three did. He was raised to be one (think baby experimented on by the association to give him powers, or perhaps just an orphan who was taken in by them when he showed potential). Techno doesn't mind being a hero, he's good at it. He has a strong sense of justice, he's competitive, he likes the hero work itself. It's just that being a hero is also all he's ever known.

The association raised him to be their strongest weapon, their greatest asset.

SBI is pretty insubordinate at times, and cut corners when it comes to the association's protocol. While they deliver good work they also like to do it their way. The association places Techno in their team as the fourth member, hoping that Techno's general sense of duty and calm-under-pressure attitude will do SBI some good.

They will come to regret this decision.

All four of them grow close, and over the span of a few years turn into more of a found family than coworkers. And as this happens, it becomes impossible for SBI not to notice how the association treats Techno differently. He's often pushed harder, and reprimanded worse when things do go wrong. He overworks himself and has been taught to never ask for help, preferring to deal with stuff by himself, even when injured or sick. He's stubborn as a mule too, so he'd never admit this was an issue. When Techno isn't working with them, he's either doing other stuff for the association or training. Techno has no life outside of hero work.

Techno does admit sometimes in conversation that there's other stuff he'd like to do. Maybe in another world where he does not have these powers, he'd be a history or English major. He'd like to try fencing, or gardening, or the violin. He'd read more.

But it is what it is.

SBI disagrees, and try to push Techno (unsuccessfully) into thinking about himself more. The more they start to see Techno as a person, the more it seems like the association doesn't.

Eventually, Phil even goes all the way to the top, complaining to the higher-ups about Techno's situation. They smile wryly, and suggest that maybe Phil has reached an age where hero work isn't for him anymore. He should take their offer of early retirement, before an incident happens and forces Phil to be dishonorably fired.

Phil is outraged, but he does take the offer because he has no choice. Wilbur and Tommy quit on the spot, equally pissed. They want to find Techno and convince him to do the same, but there's a small issue.

Techno doesn't have the same type of contract as them.

While SBI can leave, Techno can't. The hero association owns him in all ways that matter.

Obviously, the association is also quick to kick SBI out and cut off all contact. They tell Techno that Phil asked them to retire because he didn't want to be a hero anymore. And that Tommy and Wilbur chose to quit, not wanting to be on the same team as Techno without Phil around. Techno is very confused. Especially as not long after, SBI returns... as villains.

Now Techno feels confused AND betrayed.

Meanwhile, SBI will stop at nothing to get Techno back, even if it means gradually slipping further and further into villainy. They're completely disillusioned with the hero association anyway. Techno is strong, outpowering even all three of them. It takes a lot for them to finally kidnap Techno after several failed attempts. And when they do, Techno is going to fight them every step of the way. Not to mention the hero association is not going to let them take their treasured weapon easily.

Techno keeps insisting that they're in the wrong, that he'll get away from them, that being a hero is all he's good for, all he's made for. As long as he has these powers, he has an obligation to use them and be a hero.

SBI agrees.

As long as Techno has these powers, he will never be free. He'll never stop seeing them as a duty, and the association will never stop trying to take Techno from them.

Good thing that they've been working on a little something. A serum that will nullify Techno's powers forever. And then he doesn't have to worry about a thing anymore. SBI will take care of him.

Losing his powers is the only way Techno will be happy, even if he doesn't realize that himself.

As they prepare to inject him, they tell Techno what they're about to do. Techno is angry and horrified, and tells them that if they do this, he will never forgive them.

Phil just smiles and says that's a risk they're willing to take.

[kchasm]

Ryu Number: Kevin Bacon

Let's be real, this is the obvious ask. The Ryu Number is the Bacon Number for video games, so one of the first questions anyone's going to put out there is whether Kevin Bacon has a Ryu Number.

... Is what I'd like to say, but the fact is, most of the time when I try to explain the concept of a Ryu Number by saying "It's like the Bacon Number, except for Ryu—you know, six degrees of Kevin Bacon?" the response I get is, "What's 'six degrees of Kevin Bacon'?"

Hey, when was the heyday of the Bacon Number, again? Oh, thirty years ago. That doesn't feel good.

Anyway, Kevin Bacon has a Ryu Number of at most 4.

Jimmy Fallon (who I keep confusing with Jimmy Kimmel) has a cameo in Jurassic World.

This is enough to get him a place as one of the oodles of minifigs you can trot around in Lego Jurassic World. And if you think that's a kind of flimsy foundation to stick a character into a game over, please understand that this is par for the course for the Lego series of games. In Lego Jurassic World alone, you can play as Donald Gennaro, the "Unlucky Bastard" from The Lost World (here called "Unlucky Bystander"), the kid Alan Grant terrorizes at the dig site in Jurassic Park, Steven Spielberg, and Jophery Brown.

What, you don't know who Jophery Brown is? You know, the guy who gets killed in the opening scene of Jurassic Park. Muldoon goes "Jophery, raise the gate," and everything. And then he dies. Because raptor.

We didn't even know his last name was "Brown" until this game. He was named after his own actor, that's the rank of character we're dealing with here.

... Wait, does this mean we can go straight from Owen Grady to certain baseball games? I've got to think about this. Is "Scientist Phil" allowable as Phil Tippet? Is "Pilot Pat" the same person as Patrick Crowley, who produced Jurassic World and cameoed as a pilot? If Patrick Crowley has an actual pilot's license, does that change the answer?

I am entirely uninterested in answering these questions until the issue is unavoidable!

The version of You Don't Know Jack available for play in The Jackbox Party Pack 5 is You Don't Know Jack: Full Stream, hosted by YDKJ longtimer Cookie Masterson. Depending on this or that, Cookie might just welcome Jimmy Fallon to guest-host one of the questions, which Jimmy is pretty hyped up about. So hyped up, in fact, that he'll refuse to leave afterward, much to Cookie's bemusement. Which makes sense: If you're gonna have Jimmy Fallon cameo in your video game, you're gonna squeeze as much Jimmy Fallon out of Jimmy Fallon as you can.

Dude really is a longtimer, by the way. He's been around since the original You Don't Know Jack, and while he doesn't host the game in You Don't Know Jack Vol. 2, he does get to rush the players through game setup. And the actual host, Buzz Lippman, has the chance to dial out to one of a number of celebrity guests—Kevin Bacon included.

That's an appearance both ways! Counts!

[dnphobe]

hello, analysis question. what do you think about the fact that in the slime video dan is the one whose blood is spilled first? the only wound he has is on his hand, as opposed to phil's much more severe one. does this mean anything?

okay, this is going to be based more in personal interpretation than something with references and sources because off the top of my head i can't think of situations that mirror this in horror. I will, however, be sourcing from other people's anlysis on here when it's relevant.

The first blood spilled in a piece of media heavily relating to horror or death is most often the inciting incident. However, I don't think that's relevant here. I think the inciting incident of danandphilcrafts is something that happened off screen. As is very well explained in this post by @dapg-otmebytheballs, everything that happens in these videos is a joint and agreed upon act created by a joint belief system. BUT...there's a clear pattern from all the way back in Squareflakes that Phil is the ringleader in what they're doing. He explains the crafts to Dan and the Audience, he tells him and us what to do and chides Dan if he's not doing it right. It's my personal interpretation that Phil was the original believer and the one who brought Dan in.

That makes Dan's blood something else–the blood of the innocent. The spilling of innocent blood is an inciting incident in itself. It's a point of no return. and can be tied back to its importance in rituals. Rituals (at least in media, i don't claim to speak on real practices) often ask for virgin blood. virginity = innocence. This is often interpreted as a sexual virgin, as that is how the world is most often used today, but (from what i've read) it actually refers to someone who's blood has never been used in a ritual before. Phil has already been sacrificed once, in Potato Prints, so perhaps part of the reason Dan's blood was used is because just Phil's was no longer viable to summon Him.

Back to Phil being the leader of the two of them, I believe the reason Dan gets off with a much smaller wound is, perhaps, a matter of responsibility. If Phil got him into this, then it's only right that he take the brunt of the sacrifice. Dan's sacrifice, all along, has been his innocence, not that either of them know that. By spilling innocent blood, and using it in a ritual, that virginity/innocence is lost. and it only continues to be lost even more as the ritual progresses, resulting in the biggest lost of innocence of all, killing another human being.

Dan's blood being spilled is the point of no return. With Phil back alive again after the events of Potato Prints, they could have made a fresh start. But they're devoted to eachother, and to Him. There was no hope for them, but maybe before this moment, if things had been different, there could have been.

So, in summary, my personal interpretation of the significance is this piece by Jenny Holzer

and this quote by John Darnielle:

This is why people cry at the movies: because everybody’s doomed. No one in a movie can help themselves in any way. Their fate has already staked its claim on them from the moment they appear onscreen.

[dnpbeats]

hey besties going to say something parasocial and also very morbid so apologies in advance. with things like phil's recent health scare, i wonder if that brought up talks of a legit official hard launch* or in some way expedited the talks (assuming a hard launch was already being planned). because like God forbid anything actually happened to either of them. but let's say something did happen to one of them... i am assuming at that point the other would stop gal palling it up when talking about their relationship, like for obvious reasons lmao. but like imagine how awful that would be, to be going through literally the worst thing in your life and you're trying to be honest with how much the person meant to you and then you have to inevitably deal with people reacting to the fact that you are confirming a relationship. and i'm not even talking about people being like "omg phan is real 🤪" in an insensitive way (though that would unfortunately happen), like i think it would also probably suck coming from people who are just factually giving information as in "this is the first time their relationship was explicitly confirmed" yk? like I'm not in any way trying to say that gay ppl need to come out asap in case they die tomorrow, and also ik phil said he was trying not to explore "what if" scenarios so idk maybe they actually didn't have any talks at all. but it's something I wonder if they've thought about and what conclusion they might've come to

*imo they have confirmed they are a couple more than once but y'all know what I mean. the kind of hard launch where it counts as a reliable source on wikipedia

[centrally-unplanned]

I watched two documentaries recently that were very "2000's nerd culture" which I thought were very fun! In like a meta way as cultural commentary, of course, it is me after all. The first was Indie Game: The Movie, a 2012 documentary on the making Braid, Super Meat Boy, and Fez. It is a "creator-focused" documentary and in particular for the latter two games the film crew actually filmed them mid-production & release, which does make for some authentically heartfelt scenes.

So in a certain sense all eras of documentary will contain this, but the 2000's going into the 2010's was absolutely rife with a new wave of films, often supported by crowdsourcing funds like Indie Game was, primarily concerned with the self-legitimization of niche subcultures. By creating something cohesive, academic, and prestigious like a documentary, the film can codify the subculture as "real" and "worthy", and additionally lend credence to narratives about the subculture that have grown prevalent. And to be clear, this is not a criticism, even if there are parts that are - all meaning and identity is forged in similar ways. But for nerd culture in the 2000's, there was a particularly intense need for this process, because this was the era of nerdom going mainstream. That level of culture shift generated demand for all the above, which films like this aim to supply. There were lot of films of this type - we made a brony "documentary" propaganda film guys, nothing was exempt.

Indie Game is overwhelmingly the story of outsider artists bleeding and dying for their art, which will triumph above all odds. And it leans, heavily, into the bleed; at one point Phil Fish (creator of Fez), openly states he might commit suicide if his game fails. Much screen time is spent on personal sacrifice, financial poverty, the "doubters", etc. This is of course a classic tale for artists, but if I may be so bold that is something of an easy sell - emotionally, narratively - for someone writing the Great American Novel. It is maybe harder to sell if you are making this?

(Cover art by Bryan Lee O'Malley btw - very era appropriate!) How do we make "dude in hat solves puzzles" worth the Starving Artist life?

We do that by positioning these games not as games, but as paradigms. These games, by dint of being the independent vision of unitary creators, are making games that Big Gaming never could. New digital means of distribution are allowing artists to cut out the middleman of publishers, groups that corrupt the real vision of creators. And with no barriers to development, now anyone (maybe...even you?) can make games that can compete in the big leagues. Indie games through this lens are a different product than mainstream titles, and these creators are opening doors. And their suffering is going to be financially rewarded with success and money to boot! That is the narrative Indie Game is selling to its audience of gamers, to understand why the indie games they bought and loved are meaningful.

And to be clear, as much as I am about to deconstruct this, it isn't like totally false or anything. Starting in the late 2000's digital platforms like Steam, more accessible development tools like Unity (released in 2005), and so on did in fact make smaller games appealing to more niche markets more viable, and by virtue of their nicheness yeah they can do things big budget games maybe can't. These creators absolutely had passionate visions for their games, sacrifice for your passions is fine (not bashing that part here), hats off to them. Indie games in this era would absolutely "change gaming".

But not really in the ways this narrative wants them to, nor with the "meaning" people of the time expected it to have. For one, there is a conflict in this documentary of them wanting to highlight "bold new visions" and also wanting to highlight...popular indie games. This is Super Meat Boy, for example:

Yeah, never had a 2D platformer blob guy dodging traps before in gaming! "No see its retro" yeah retro to what, old games? Like those Nintendo made back in the 90's, which you explicitly mention in your documentary? You know, niche indie studio Nintendo? This isn't a bash, at all, at the game itself, but instead the idea that "AAA Studios would never"; they totally would, and always did. There has never been an era where the large gaming studios weren't also making creative games, but for this narrative they need to be propped up as static for it to make sense. And the actual niche indie stuff that big studios wouldn't touch don't sell well enough to justify being in this film!

And the idea of the "solo developer" is also, hm, let us say a bit sus. Not that these developers weren't solo or small teams, they were (though ofc a solo core creator will often have dozens of helpers on supporting roles that get sidelined in this "unitary vision" narrative); but that such a model is all that new? How big do you think development teams were in the 90's for so many classic games? The original Pokemon Red/Blue game had less than a dozen core developers (the total staff list, including American localizers, is ~30 people - Super Meat Boy meanwhile seems to have 16 for comparison). You wanna bring up the dev teams for PC-98 visual novels? They were made in an Akihabara cave with a box of pixel art scraps by like 6 people! You think those games didn't have "unitary creative visions"? Small gaming companies have always been a part of the ecosystem, getting niche titles funded & published using insane magic and pure luck. The "indie boom" is better seen as a change in the numerator.

Though what did change is that, by being self-published, development was approachable by outsiders in new ways. Though even then, this is a bit of a lie - Jonathan Blow of Braid was an industry veteran, and everyone here plays the "convention circuit" and networks with people like the PAX crew and Xbox representatives. But with the games being published by an individual over a studio, even a studio of a half dozen people, it is far easier for the audience to see the creators as "one of them". No office, no suits, just a man in his gamer den banging out his dream. That aesthetic is core to why this narrative was potent at the time, and why making a documentary to codify it was seen as compelling. It takes an already ascendant idea, polishes it, packages it as nonfiction, and then sells the idea back to the people who invented it. LIke so much media, to be clear! I always enjoy seeing it, it is the dialectic of culture in action.

I also find it very funny to see a documentary made in 2012 playing tropes that will become far more ~problematic~ just around the corner. Burnout and work-life balance - in a documentary where a developer, crying, discusses suicide if his game fails, to remind you - is pretty much never mentioned, and a successful game launch is absolutely presented as justifying endless crunch. You would never see that today. The only women in this documentary are wives and parents - which is very amusing, because the co-creator of the film is a woman! No one thinks gender is relevant to mention. Boy would that change in a few years.

Indie games today, of course, are just a segment of the gaming market. They are incredibly common now, so much so that most people lose money making them, people discuss oversaturation, big studio companies have "indie wings" to cover consumer preference ranges, etc. There is no magic in it anymore, it is just dev strategy. So yeah, very enjoyable as a representative time capsule in a strain of culture that is pretty much gone now! The Capital-R Romantic Era of indie gaming; what a time.

In the next post, we are going much more niche, so stay tuned for that. Or don't, I don't know you, and like this was a loooot of writing. Maybe i'll, idk work on that for the next one? ...I probably won't -_-

[makeyoumine69]

Starfall (commission)

— PAIRING: Patrick Bateman x Fem!Reader

— SUMMARY: Ever since he was a kid, Patrick always had everything he wanted. Always egoistical and entitled, he always took everything he had for granted. But what happens when one day his entire world falls apart when he receives a call?

— CONTAINS: Patrick Bateman's POV and no other warnings in order to avoid spoilers!😏

— WORDS: 2.3k

— A/N: Writing Patrick's POV was such a rollercoaster experience for me, so I want to thank a person who asked me to write this commission. Love you guys, I hope you like it!💗

— LINKS: [MASTERLIST] [COMMISSIONS] [AO3] [buy me a coffee]💓

The sudden knock on my office door made me frown in annoyance, as I was in the middle of listening to the new Phil Collins tape. Slowly, I removed my headphones and turned to look at Jean, her expression was something between sorrow and shock. 

"What is it?" I ask, straightening my red tie.

"P-Patrick... I got a call from..."

Jesus, why do women always need to be so slow?

"A call from?" I repeated, crossing my arms in a mannerly way, without missing a chance to check my gold Rolex.

"From the hospital." She blurted out quickly before dropping her head.

I still didn't understand why she looked so sad, so I leaned back in my chair and let out a tired sigh.

"So you interrupted me because some asshole dialed the wrong number?" I pointed at my phone, enjoying the way she got embarrassed. "When I have a break, it means I don't exist to anyone, even you, Jean. How many times have I told you that?"

"It's about (y/n)," something heavy fell in my stomach. "They called to say that she got in a car accident, and they found your office number in her wallet."

Her words hit me harder than a truck, and I could swear I felt my blood freeze in my veins from the creeping fear. Fear of losing you. I stood up before even thinking about it, my hands shaking, but I tried my best to keep my cool. 

"Patrick." Jean muttered as she watched me put on my coat.

"Where is she?" 

"Can I come with you? I want to help."

"WHERE IS SHE?" I didn't even notice my voice getting loud, but when I saw Jean's frightened glance, a shaky breath escaped my lungs and I closed my eyes for a second. "Sorry."

"I... it's okay, I understand." She carefully handed me my scarf, which had accidentally fallen, and I hadn't even noticed. "I wrote down the address."

In addition to my scarf, she gave me a piece of paper with her note, I could barely control myself now that I realized what was happening was real.

"Thank you, Jean." I mumble, buttoning my coat and taking my briefcase. "For everything."

The taxi ride took only 20 minutes, but to me it felt like an eternity, and when I finally saw the outline of the hospital, I let out a nervous breath and got out of the car. I paid the taxi driver double what I had to, but I didn't care.

With every step I took, my heart was about to burst through my rib cage, it was beating so fast that it even hurt, and I felt so helpless and miserable under the weight of circumstances that I found it difficult to even open the main door.

Inside the hospital, time seemed to stop for me. I looked around, trying not to panic, and rushed to the reception desk, almost bumping into a nurse on the way.

The receptionist noticed my anxiety and overtook me, asking in a calm voice, "How can I help you, sir?"

"I... I'm looking for (y/n). I was informed that she's here." I said hesitantly, leaning on the reception desk.

"One moment, please." The middle-aged lady replied, fixed her glasses and picked up the phone to make a call.

To be fair, I tried not to listen to what she was saying, doing my best to distract myself from thinking about the worst, as if the worst hadn't already happened. Fuck, I'm such a mess.

"Sir?" 

I shrugged at the receptionist's voice and cleared my dry throat. "Sorry. What did you say?"

"The patient you asked about. Her condition is stable now, but she's in a coma. And we can't say when she'll—" 

"Can I see her?" I interrupted, my emotions finally taking over.

The lady sighed, but said nothing.

"Please," the grief and despair were eating me from the inside, and I was about to lose myself at any moment. "I need to see her and talk to the doctor!"

"I completely understand your feelings, sir," she held out her hand in a reassuring gesture. "I'll see what I can do. Please wait here."

In a few minutes I was walking down the long, dimly lit corridor, accompanied by several nurses. I had never been more scared in my life, I could feel my heartbeat pounding against my ears as my blood rushed through my veins as if I were about to jump off the top of the Empire State Building.

When one of the nurses stopped near the door to what I assumed was your medical room, I took a deep breath and closed my eyes for a few seconds. No, I was not prepared for what awaited me behind that door, but was it possible to be prepared at all?

Suffocating, I managed to open the door and walked in, all my insides tightened the moment I saw you lying on the hospital bed, your face looked so peaceful, even with the oxygen mask on, you were like a sleeping beauty.

At first I didn't know what to do, so I just stood by the door for a while, and only then did I dare to approach your small, motionless form. Cautiously, as if afraid to wake you up, I sat down next to your bed and I thought my eyes were already beginning to water.

"Hello, dear." I murmured sadly, slowly running my hand along the edge of the bed. "I... I'm here now, and everything's going to be okay. I promise you."

I felt stupid because I knew you couldn't hear me, but still, my urge to assure you that everything would be fine didn't seem strange to me. I brushed away a single tear that ran down my cheek, which you always loved to stroke, and looked at your face, wishing for a moment that I could remove this mask and press my lips to yours. I damned myself for not doing it more often when you were around. God, why did I always have to be so stubborn and arrogant?

"(Y/n), you've always been so kind to me, and you've never asked for anything in return… and I probably didn't appreciate it as much as I should have." I paused when my trembling hand found yours, and then I stared down at it. Every time I noticed how tiny your palm was compared to mine, it made something inside of me quiver.

Cursing myself, I sobbed pathetically and squeezed your hand. "And you never tried to change me or fix me, you accepted me as I am, but... but you never knew what terrible things I did! Jesus!" I was getting hysterical, but now I could no longer hide my emotions. Hateress cursed through my body, burning me like a glowing iron. 

"I'm sorry, I'm so fucking sorry that I wasn't completely open with you! I just didn't want you to know all the shit I've done in my fucking life!" As I continued to confess, both my arms now wrapped around your fragile frame, I laid my head on your chest, feeling your steady breathing. "Please don't go... I can't do this alone."

The beeping of the medical equipment mixed with my own whimpering, and the whole word seemed to be reduced to this small medical room, where a psycho like me was drowning in the swamp of grief.

"Maybe I'm a sick guy, but I need you more than I ever imagined," I gritted my teeth in disgust. "God damn it! I'm so fucking selfish, even now I only think about myself... I'm so fucking—"

The sound of the door opening made me almost choke. Hesitantly, I fixed my disheveled hair and wiped away my tears before turning around to see a guy who was probably a doctor, and I expected nothing but the worst. When I noticed his relaxed expression, I frowned and almost pleaded:

"Tell me she's going to be okay."

The doctor paused and looked through the papers in his hands. "According to our tests, we expect her condition to get better in a few days."

A small drop of sweat fell from my forehead the moment I heard those words. With a sigh of relief, I quickly got up from the chair and stumbled over to the doctor.

"Thank you," I managed to say, trying to shake his hand, but my body did not seem to listen to me. "If you need anything, let me know. I'll do everything I can."

The doctor nodded. I sat next to you again and mumbled that you were going to be okay. The way I was talking reminded me of the times when you couldn't sleep, and I lulled you by telling you stories where we would run away and finally be alone together. In the end, that would happen, I wouldn't let anything take that away from us, and even if I had to go to hell, I would do it. 

"I'll always be here, love," I murmured, kissing the top of your palm. "Please come back."

One of the reasons I was really proud of my apartment was the view, even if it didn't overlook the park, you loved it and that was all that mattered. 

Trapped in my thoughts, I stood next to the wide window in my living room and watched the night city through the open blinds. I could still feel your sweet scent on my skin, I could still hear the lewd sounds of us making love just a moment ago. Smiling, I closed my eyes and returned to the pleasurable images in my head, even though you were only a few feet away, lying in my big bed, I already missed you, but I would never tell you that.

I didn't know how long I stayed like this, but when I noticed your half-naked figure in the doorway of my bedroom, I gasped because I couldn't resist how beautiful you were, especially when you looked at me like that, with your deer-like, devoted eyes.

"Can't sleep?" You asked me, yawning a little and hugging yourself.

I grinned again, hiding my hands in the pockets of my gray sweatpants. "I'm just trying to understand why do you find this view so special," I crooned in a seductive voice. "But since you're awake, maybe you'll explain it to me?"

You gave me a mischievous grin, and I didn't even have to beckon you over as you slowly approached me, wrapped your elegant arms around my torso, and I purred in response. I didn't really like hugs, but when it came to YOU, it was a different story.

"Well, usually at night you can see some shooting stars," you murmured, still pressed against my chest. "And every time it happens, I make a wish."

For God's sake! Your naivety and innocence always struck a chord in my heart, making me grin like an idiot, though I was glad you couldn't see me right now, as I held you close, stroking your back and breathing in your scent, which had become so tranquilizing to me.

"Oh! Look!" You suddenly exclaimed, moving closer to the window. "A falling star!"

"Where?"

"Right there!" You took my hand and pointed to the spot in the midnight sky.

I laughed, admiring how excited you were, sometimes I thought you would never grow up and that was something cute, I could even say I was really jealous because I never allowed myself to act like that.

"Patrick, we should make a wish!" 

"Like what?"

"Just think of something that you want to come true," you continued to bubble, frowning a bit as you probably were thinking about the list of wishes you might have. "Think, Patrick!"

Your childish attitude made me sigh as I rolled my eyes. "All right, all right. I want this moment to last forever."

"Why did you say that out loud?" You suddenly grumbled and broke out of my embrace. "It won't work if you say your wish out loud, didn't you know that?"

"Honestly, I don't believe in such things," I moved closer to hug you again, but you pushed me away jokingly, your pretty lips pouted. "Oh, honey, c'mon! I can't take this seriously!"

"Then I'll leave you here alone to think about it." You stuck out your tongue teasingly and slowly moved away from me.

"Besides, I already have everything I want," I chuckled smugly, feeling a bit turned on by the way you swayed your hips. "You know what I mean."

"Maybe..." You purred, making your voice sound even more seductive, before disappearing into the darkness behind me.

Only with you did I realize that I had always lived for emotions, that I had done so many terrible things because I was a sucker for the adrenaline. And you were my strongest addiction, but not one that killed, but one that freed me from my fears, my demons, my sins.

Shaking slightly, I let out a loud gasp as I felt a searing pain cut me from the inside like a fan of knives. Then I turned back to the window and saw my own reflection. I blinked several times, feeling the tears weeping in my empty eyes.

"(Y/n)?" When I called your name and no one answered, I almost fell to my knees. 

My wounded heart started to bleed, as once again I was alone. Sobbing, I pressed my head against the cold glass and let the tears flow freely down my cheeks. And there was nothing left for me to do but hold on to the warm memories of those days. 

The days when you were here with me.

P.S. Thank you for reading until the end! I don’t have a taglist. You can follow my side blog @makeyoumineagain and turn on notifications to know when I update!