#i mean. i was in a foreign country. of course i was going to get loads of unnecessary food

[ryanthedemiboy]

The hospital in germany didn't reply to the final letter within the time limit set by my lawyer, so no settlement. We're suing them :/

[yeah-thats-probably-it]

Hot take maybe but I think Bertie would be FAR more likely to survive the first two months of Dracula than Jeeves would be. Bertie has a healthy sense of self-preservation. Jeeves consistently underestimates how dangerous a situation might get (Steeple Bumpleigh, the club book) because he’s overconfident about his level of control over any given situation. He'd handle Dracula masterfully if they faced off in England, but on Dracula's home turf? Much more doubtful.

I realize this might be a tough sell, so I will explain further (or it's not a tough sell, and I'm going to explain further because I want to). (criteria taken from @canyourfavesurvivecastledracula) Without further ado.

Would Jeeves and Wooster survive Castle Dracula?

Jeeves

Jeeves' survival will depend on how long Dracula finds him more entertaining than irritating. On that basis, I don't think he's long for this world. On the one hand, he has a huge wealth of knowledge about English society and culture that he can recite perfectly from memory. That should buy him at least a little time with noted teaboo Dracula.

On the other hand, he would be absolutely no fun as a vampire plaything. Jeeves cannot be got. Sneaking up on him while he's shaving will yield zero reaction (though that's at least good for his short-term survival--given that, although he DID take the crucifix from the old woman out of politeness, he certainly isn't going to wear it. The rules of fashion don't go out the window just because you're in a spooky castle). Then, although managing the whims of rich jerks is not an insignificant part of a valet's job, Jeeves usually does this by bending his employers to his will. Dracula is not the sort of employer this will work on. It'll just add insult to injury when on top of being impossible to scare, NOW Jeeves is telling Dracula that his favorite cloak is several centuries out of fashion and he's not allowed to wear it anymore.

Jeeves will 100% go exploring in the areas he was told not to go-- though to be fair, he MIGHT actually get away with this, what with his superpower of appearing in rooms without being seen or heard. Said superpower might save him from the brides as well (though this is by no means guaranteed). Since I find it doubtful that Dracula would come to rescue his annoying ass, not being noticed is his best defense.

There are a couple other things working in Jeeves's favor; the question is just whether they'll be enough to save him.

He DOES know shorthand, and could try to send coded letters. He might even have the foresight to squirrel away some extra stationary where Dracula can't find it. But could he get them posted? Would it even do him any good?

He certainly has enough cultural literacy to figure out what his new boss is pretty quickly. If he didn't chuck the crucifix out the carriage window, he might start carrying it around in his pocket.

Psychology of the individual, sure, but the individual in question is a 400-year-old vampire who lives in an isolated castle in a foreign country and is regarded as a terrifying mythological figure in the surrounding villages. Jeeves has never come up against anything this alien before, he's cut off from his normal resources, and opportunities to play people against each other are limited.

He probably has enough upper body strength from all that shrimping and fishing to climb the wall, so he COULD escape if he wanted to, if he survived long enough. It's just, again, that overconfidence, and also Dracula has a vast library full of rare old books that are entirely at his disposal. He's keeping his eyes and ears alert for potential escape strategies, of course, but I don't see him being as desperate to get out as Jonathan was.

There are just a lot of "depends on"s here, and I'm not convinced that luck would shake out in Jeeves's favor, all things considered.

Bertie

Bertie is so perfect for the job of Castle Dracula Prisoner it's like it was made for him. Think about it. Being held against his will in big manor houses comes more naturally to him than breathing. He's afraid of things that are scary. A lifetime of dealing with Aunt Agatha has made him the world's preeminent expert in "curl[ing] up in a ball in the hope that a meek subservience [will] enable [him] to get off lightly." He will NEVER go exploring in places he's been warned away from if nobody is forcing him to (Rev. Aubrey Upjohn's office notwithstanding. There were biscuits in there). He's both fun to talk to and easy to toy with (and extremely English). A+ prisoner. Dracula adores him.

In my opinion, Bertie is at Castle Dracula either because Aunt Agatha got some wires seriously crossed and thinks he’s going to meet an eligible potential bride (I mean, there are certainly brides there), or because Dracula has something Aunt Dahlia wants him to steal (far less likely, given that one of Dracula’s THINGS is famously not owning anything silver). Either way, he's shown himself entirely willing and able to escape down drainpipes if a sitch gets too scaly.

He DOES take the crucifix, and DOES wear it (which is what will save him during the shaving scene, because you KNOW he's going to jump a foot and cut himself like the dickens). He's read enough supernatural goosefleshers to be genre savvy about terrified old women cryptically pushing crucifixes into one's hands. I also think his sunny disposish endeared him to the villagers, and they were particularly vehement about urging him not to go. He doesn't speak German or Romanian, but he's empathetic enough to recognize Pure Terror. So by the time he actually gets to the castle, his imagination is already running wild and he's plenty aware that he is in imminent danger.

I think the biggest risk to Bertie will be the brides; whether or not he's susceptible to trances, if he thinks they're trying to marry him, it's against the code of the Woosters to turn them down. But that only becomes an issue if he comes face to face with them, which, luckily, I think is unlikely on account of the aforementioned "won't go exploring" (and if he did, Dracula would definitely rescue him).

I'm inclined to say due to his drainpipe-escape habits that he WOULD be able to climb the wall and MAY attempt to sneak into Dracula's room to look for the keys if his desperation grows to outweigh his fear. Whether he does or not, though, he does NOT have the stomach to attempt shovel murder, and therefore won't get magic brain fever, and may very well simply walk out the front doors when the people come to take the boxes away. OR he climbs his way out like Jonathan did. Either way.

When Bertie tells this story at the Drones later, Tuppy will say that no doubt it's been greatly exaggerated and all that probably happened was that he spent a couple months in an oldish house entertaining a weird loner.

[troublesomesnitch]

Phonesex with Aemond

Modern!Aemond x Reader

Modern AU - Aemond calls you after the dinner fight, and you cheer him up in the best way you can.

Contents: some quick smut. New relationship, mentions of oral sex, p in v sex and brief anal exploration (f receiving).

Warnings: brief mention of terminal illness.

Words: 3300

Thank you @arcielee for test-reading, tidying and generally helping out with this little experimental fic!

It has been six days since Aemond kissed you goodbye and shoved his skis and his snow gear and his aluminium suitcase into the back of a taxi. Six days, and you haven't heard from him since, not a single message, and no indication that he's read yours either. Six days, and the farewell kiss was just a sterile peck on the side of your mouth, because the driver was watching, and Aemond was in a foul mood already.

You suppose the thought of two weeks with one's extended family can do that to a person. And especially when one's family is as messy as Aemond's.

They're in the tabloids sometimes, Aegon with a model on his arm, Rhaenyra spotted topless in Ibiza, Viserys leaving the hospital looking more dead than alive. Old money, and every bit the stereotype too, with their luncheons and country estates and public feuds over inheritance. And the incident, of course. But Aemond never talks about that.

The family trip is solely his father's idea. Or, his father's command, really. His final wish; that they should all spend one last Christmas together at the chalet, eating venison and going cross-country skiing and whatever else rich people do on their alpine retreats. It is all very Town & Country, so far removed from anything you know. They have a coat of arms, for fucks sake, and Aemond wears it engraved on the back of his watch; on the cufflinks that sit in a velvet box atop his dresser. For special occasions, and you'd be lying if you said the thought had never crossed your mind: Aemond in coat and tie and cufflinks, yourself decked out in white and his mother's antique veil. Champagne fountain and monogrammed napkins and an article in Vogue Weddings. Double spread.

But you're getting way ahead of yourself. You have only been seeing each other for about three months, and it is still very new and foreign. Terrifying as well, and your heart leaps to your throat when your phone starts ringing and Aemond's name lights up on the screen.

Six days, and it's a quarter to midnight now, so that almost makes it seven.

"Hey," he says softly. "Did I wake you?"

"No!“ you exclaim, a little too excitedly despite your efforts to sound casual. “I was just watching something. How's St. Moritz?"

"Fine," he says, but it doesn't sound at all convincing, and there's a faint sound in the background. Like a scraping noise, and you imagine that he's picking at his cuticles; at the little chips in his nails.

"Aemond," you call, somewhat alarmed by the silence. "Is everything okay?"

The scraping gets louder before it finally stops and Aemond says sort of.

There was a fight at supper, apparently. An actual fight, with punching and shoving and everything. Straight out of Real Housewives, only even more insane, and Aemond started it, because of course he did. And all because of a stupid joke his nephew made.

"Isn't he like, fourteen?" you ask, and Aemond sighs on the other end of the line.

"Yeah," he mutters. "Something like that".

Jesus.

You are tempted to ask him why he would do such a thing, but you kind of already know. Because of his father, because of his sister, because of the incident. Because Viserys would rather dote on his grandsons than his own children, and because Aemond has chronic pains, and the prosthetic gets itchy, and he dented his car when he couldn't see how close that concrete pillar actually was.

And probably also because he doesn't hold his liquor very well.

"Aemond, you're a grown man," you begin, and your voice is kind and gentle, but you can almost hear how he's pinching the bridge of his nose. "I mean, I understand why you'd be upse - angry, but like. He's a child."

"I know," he sighs, shuffling around with something. "I shouldn't have done it.”  

There's the click of a lighter and then a deep exhale as he blows out smoke, and it reminds you of when you first met. You used to watch Aemond all the time before you worked up the courage to talk to him. He would lean so leisurely against the wall, cigarette in hand and that haughty smirk on his lips; leather jacket, black jeans, hair artfully tousled and tied back. Tall and handsome and just so fucking cool.

"Thought you quit," you tease, and it sounds a little chiding, but it isn't meant like that.

"I did," Aemond says. "I got this one from my uncle - it would have been rude to decline.”

He is quiet then, but it's a sort of contemplative silence. Like somehow you can feel there is more.

"It pisses me off," he finally says. "This whole charade - it's exhausting.”

Yes, you think. It must be. All of his family trapped under the same roof, forced to confront so many painful memories, yet act as though none of it ever happened. Smile and laugh and play house, and all so Viserys Targaryen can pretend he was a better man. Go to his grave with the comfortable illusion that he did not create the rift that tore his family apart.

If Aemond was with you right now, you would wrap your arms around him and kiss his face and his lovely hands, but all you can do at this moment is give a weak yeah, I understand.

"It has been the most miserable week," he moans. "Although - Aegon did fall off a lift today. He's fine, it was just a T-bar. But that was fun."

You giggle. "Oh, poor Aegon.”

"It was his own fault," Aemond snorts. "He had Jägerbombs for lunch. Anyway - " he clears his throat, back to the brooding mood and somber voice. "I'm sorry I called you so late. And for not being in touch. And for... everything else.”

"It's fine," you shrug. "I don't mind. But, Aemond - " you pause, thinking of how best to word the next part, "I think you should at least consider apologising to -"

"No." he cuts in. "Absolutely not.”

There's an awkward silence then, and you worry you might have overstepped your boundaries. He is so difficult to read sometimes, so elusive. You never quite know what he needs from you, sympathy, or flattery, or reassurance, or nothing at all.

You can, however, think of a way to distract him from his brooding. And maybe sex isn't the healthiest way to cope with one's issues, but still. It is miles better than beating up family members.

You twirl a lock of hair around your finger, even though he can’t see it. "What are you doing right now? Are you alone?"

“Yes,“ he says, curious. “Why?”

"What are you wearing?"

"Same thing I always wear," he responds, but then his voice turns coy and teasing, and he asks "what are you wearing?"

You look down at your fuzzy socks, your faded shorts, the worn-out knickers underneath.

"Honestly? Not anything nice."

Aemond laughs, a real laugh this time, and then he tells you just make something up.

The first thing that comes to your mind is that dress you saw the other day. Aemond would like it. He is not into extravagant lingerie and things like that, always likes it best when you are just you. Dry patches on your lips, bruises on your legs and all. Natural. 

But he is still a man though. So, not too natural.

"I'm wearing - I'm wearing a little slip. Silk, and it's the prettiest colour. It is soft to the touch," - you run a finger up your thigh, imagining it - "and it is very short. My legs are out and everything. And my tits look so good in it.”

"They always do," Aemond says, and he sounds a little husky when he asks what is underneath?

"Those panties you liked last time. With the little bows on them?"

"Yeah," he breathes. "I remember.”

"Good. Just the panties, and nothing else. And the dress is so thin - it feels like nothing when you touch it."

You lay back on top of your bed, your hand working its way down the waistband of your sleeping shorts, phone pressed to your ear. 

"I want to touch you," Aemond sighs, voice all soft and gentle. "I want to feel your body against mine.”

You blush. He is quite the romantic sometimes. Jesus, Aemond is so out of your league. You can hardly believe he'd even look in your direction, let alone kiss you and hold you and let you sleep with your head on his chest.

"Aemond" you whisper, slowly stroking your between your legs. "I'm getting all wet. All wet for you".

His breath hitches, and there's a faint oh, followed by the rustling of fabric as he palms himself over his pants. Lowering his voice and breathing touch yourself.

"I already am" you purr. "I wish it was you, though. Wish you could feel how much I want you."

Aemond says fuck, he wishes that too. You're getting him so hard. So hard just thinking about your pretty cunt.

"I'd like to suck your cock" you sigh longingly, and he immediately responds with a sharp breath that makes warmth spread in your stomach.

"Wait -" he mutters. "Hang on".

You hear the metallic clink of his belt, the sound of his zipper, and you bite your lip thinking about what he's doing. Taking his stiff cock in hand, brushing slender fingers along the shaft, running a thumb over the tip to collect the little drops that have already leaked from it. He has the prettiest cock, long and thick and veiny. Uncut, and blushing red at the tip when you slide his foreskin back. 

How you wish you could feel it in your mouth.

"Tell me how you'd do it" Aemond pleads, and there's a slight strain in his voice that suits it so well. 

"I'll start out slow," you whisper, "with just my tongue and my hand. Get your cock big and hard before I take you in my mouth. And then I'll wrap my lips around the head, and I'll press my tongue against the little slit there. And - and I’ll lick the tip of your cock until you’re begging me for more.”

He sighs, and you can hear how his hand settles into a steady rhythm, up and down over his hard cock. Filthy. 

You close your eyes and continue.

"I'd take you so deep, all the way to the back of my throat. And I would tease you - I'd be real fucking mean. I want you leaking in my mouth, all needy and desperate for me. Like, so you can barely hold it back anymore. You'd be ready to explode.”

"Don't stop - " he pants, still keeping up the stroking, pausing just briefly to spit into his hand.

"I'll edge you before I let you come. So many times, you'll be desperate for release. I want your balls so tight and heavy - all tender from how much you need to come - ”

Aemond moans, and he's stroking himself faster, tugging and tugging and filling his bedroom with damp, lewd noises. You know how he likes it; firm grip when he moves up, slack going back down, slight twist at the tip.

"And then?"

"I'd let you come in my mouth."

"No," he breathes. "I want to come inside of you.”

You give a little giggle; he always wants that. Occasionally he’ll finish all over your breasts, or in your mouth, but mostly he likes it the old fashioned way. Your bodies molded together and his cock pulsing deep inside of you. Pressing his forehead to yours or moaning into the back of neck. 

You like that too - but there are other things you might like to try as well. 

"You should come on my panties," you say coyly. "Like, inside them. And then I'd wear them all day, and just walk around with your cum between my legs.”

Aemond groans again, loudly, hoarse and strained and so fucking hot.

"You'd like that?" you tease. "I would feel it there all day. All wet and warm in my little panties. Right against my cunt."

"Fuck," he moans. "Fuck - I'd like that so much."

The sounds of his tugging get louder and faster, and you picture him laid out on his bed, cock throbbing in his hand, hips thrusting up and up into his own grip. Lone eye closed and mouth falling open. 

He lets out a soft moan, and a whine - and then the stroking abruptly stops. Close call, that one. Aemond curses, and you can hear him taking deep breaths, calming his body, halting the mounting need to ejaculate. Too soon.

“Can't wait to have you,” he mutters, and you give a quiet hum in response. 

“Please tell me how.”

He takes a slow, steadying breath.

"I want to be on top of you" he whispers, low, so no one will hear.  "Don't care if you're on your back or what, as long as you're underneath me".

"I'd be on my stomach. You can fuck me from behind".

“Yes,” he sighs. “I want to put my cock so deep inside you. I want you to feel how hard you make me. And I'll pin you down - I'll hold you in place when I take you" - his voice goes all ragged as he starts to slowly stroke his cock again - "fuck you're so beautiful when you're under me."

You mewl, and Aemond’s breath hitches.

“Yeah, and I'll fuck you slow, but hard. I want you squirming on my cock…”  he trails off, and for a moment there is only the sound of heavy breathing, his and yours. 

You had paused your own ministrations before, too focused on finding the right words, but now you begin your gentle stroking again. Underneath your knickers, fingers massaging right over your clit, so good that you let out a little whimper. 

“I love feeling you inside of me” you breathe, “I love it when you lie on top of me - ”

“Yeah?” He gasps, and you bite your lip. 

“Yeah. And I love it when you touch my - ass. Oh It feels so good when you touch me like that…”

Just saying it makes you a little flustered. You would not consider yourself very prudish, but there are some things that make you feel bashful, and this is one of them, the things he does to your backside when you’re together. And Aemond knows, and maybe that makes it even more arousing for him, the filthiness of it, the taboo. 

“How” he moans, his tone urgent and so incredibly intimate. “How do you want me to touch you -”

You have to take a very deep breath before you continue - you feel so sheepish, talking about that, but you are a woman in love, so for Aemond you’ll do your best. 

“I want you to slide your hand down my back and in between my cheeks,” you whisper, blushing all over. “It makes me so wet… feels so good when you caress me there - when you brush your fingers right over my tight little hole while you’re fucking me - maybe next time I’ll let you slip one inside…“

Aemond gives a strangled groan at that, quickening his strokes and hissing oh fuck. He is so close now, you can hear it. 

“Say my name” he begs, breathing so fast and tugging frantically on his cock. All hard and swollen now, his hips thrusting up, his balls pulling tight; oh you can imagine it so easily. 

“Aemond” you whisper. “Aemond, my love” - he moans louder, strokes harder - Aemond, I want you to fuck me, I want to feel your big, hard cock - 

Aemond chokes out a sob, and you say his name one last time as he reaches his peak. 

He holds back when he comes, muffling the helpless groans and grunts that you always love so much. But you can hear his strained sighs, his ragged breaths, and the sound is only slightly distorted through the speaker. If you close your eyes it's like he's there with you, gasping right in your ear. 

Oh you can’t wait to see him again, to get to touch him, cuddle up to him at night and run your finger down the perfect angle of his nose.

"You didn't come," Aemond says, accusingly, and you hold back a chuckle because he doesn't like it when you laugh at him. But it is as amusing as it is sweet, this need of his to do everything to perfection. Like if every time he is intimate with you isn't the BEST sex of your life, then he has failed as a lover; as a man.

“I did it on purpose” you reassure. “I'm saving it for you. All for you. Only for you.”

Aemond gives a somewhat dissatisfied hum, but he is occupied with something else now, moving around and fiddling with things. Cleaning himself up, you suppose. If only you were there to do it for him, you'd lick his cum right off his skin.

There is a loud noise in the background all of a sudden, someone knocking on Aemond’s door, and he scrambles to make himself presentable and tells you to hang on. The sounds are muffled - you assume he is covering the microphone - but you can hear another man's voice, and Aemond saying yes, I'll be right down, and then just fuck off, will you when the intruder won't take a hint.

"Sorry about that," he says awkwardly. "Aegon wants to go out. I should go with him".

You giggle at the thought - it is difficult to imagine Aemond at one of those tacky aprés-ski bars, glow stick and vodka-cranberry in hand. “Sounds fun!”

"Yeah, well, my mother would want me to,” he says sullenly. "You know, make sure he doesn't do anything stupid.”

"What's the age of consent in Switzerland?" you jest, but Aemond just gives an exasperated sigh and mutters too bloody low.

You pause, unsure of what to say next, and again there's that loaded silence until he clears his throat.

"I will tell them about you. My family - I'll tell them soon. I promise.”

You can feel heat rising in your cheeks. 

Aemond purposely keeps you far away from his family, and he’ll go to great lengths to avoid running into them when you’re together. In fact he prefers not to go out at all, and you have never questioned it or complained. He’s got you hook, line and sinker - could tell you right to your face that he was embarrassed to be seen with you, and you would still be at his beck and call. 

You shrug. “It's fine. Don't worry about it. You don't have to tell them. It's fine.”

“No it isn't,” he says gravely. “You're important to me. So I should treat you as such.”

He says something else after that too, but you aren't listening, still stuck on the words you just heard. You're important to me. You're important.

It makes your heart leap with joy, and you are only pulled back to reality when Aemond calls out your name, and then sweetheart?

He doesn't call you that very often. It is always so nice when he does.

“Sorry” you blush. “I zoned out. But - I've missed you. I miss you. It's nice to hear your voice again.”

There's no way to tell, but somehow you feel like Aemond is smiling.

“Yeah,” he says softly. “Yours too.”

You tell him to have fun with Aegon and whatever horrid establishment they end up at, and Aemond tells you goodnight and says he'll call you as soon as he's back home. He doesn't say he misses you too, but that's okay. You know he does.

Because you're important.

[iskandersmuts]

Diplomat's Party

Male Reader x Yuna

Tags: Smut, Yuna Smut, Sex, Blowjob, Creampie

My first attempt. I will be thankful with some feedback with anything.

1

Breathe in. Breathe out.

You see the man on the mirror. That’s you inside the bathroom talking to yourself for gaining courage. “You can do it.” You say. “You did this for the last year.” Finally, you hide again in one of the bathroom’s cabinets. One more time breathe in and breathe out. Is just matter of endure this feeling three more hours.

You leave the bathroom and start counting the hours. Right now is nine o’clock. You can leave freely this party at midnight. As your boss always says “Your job at parties is like being a Cinderella. You arrive show the best you have and before the worst parts of you appear you leave. Nobody wants to know how cool or shitty you are when you are bored or even worse drunk. So no one of you, the diplomats, can show that side. Remember we are representing a country.” He is right we can’t show some parts of ourselves.

But these parties are actually a pain in the ass. The most of the people are here for work. They are not resting. They are not having fun. They are trying to get some confidential information that will help their own interest or the interest of their countries. Is like an international convention of ass lickers, brownosers or whatever you call it. They gather together and start talking about nonsense: “Did you hear about that African president lecturing Macron about colonialism?” or “Did you see what this Bukele did with the cryptocurrency?” You just can’t say. “Of course, dumbass you know that every ass licker here read the same Foreign Affairs subscription that you read.” You just say whatever thing they also know “Yeah and it seems that IOSCO now has a project bill for cryptocurrency.” And then the questions start. “Do you have any notices on the votes of the draft resolution of the injunction… and blah blah” Just things that nobody cares about. Two years ago, you pleaded your boss to let you assist to this kind of events. And now is your third time a week in these events. You would prefer getting a massage with hot stones in your balls right now. But not everything is bad. In this field: the diplomacy. You must be really lucky to find a friend. And you were really lucky, your honest friend is Diego an Argentinian diplomat.

2

In this party at Lotte Hotel Diego does a sign asking you to leave the building and go to the yard. Both of you get outside and start talking.

“Dude, did you hear the big news?” Says Diego.

“Diego if is a diplomat thing I really don’t want to talk about that right now.” You say with your voice showing boredom.

“No is not that kind of thing. You know me. I don’t like to talk about that stuff too. Is about the party of tonight.”

“What? Someone find out about those two gay diplomats that are in a relationship?” You ask.

Diego laughs. “No not that. Something interesting. Korea has changed the main event of tonight!”

“That means that I’m not going to hear the fat lady singing AGAIN the fucking Madame Butterfly.” You say.

“Yes. And also, as they were looking for something new. Moon Jae In used his trick up his sleeve and contracted a kpop group.”

“WAIT WHAT? WHO? TELL ME!” You say almost shouting.

“Is a girl group. JYP…”

“Fucking Twice is coming? Oh my god! Really?”

“No not Twice a bit younger.”

“NMIXX? But they have few songs!” You say complaining.

“Not that younger.”

“ITZY? ARE YOU FUKING KIDDING ME?!”

“No. No. It’s for real. They are coming.”

You guessed correctly.

And now you are thinking: Finally, something good happened on these useless parties. And you are smiling in a weird way. You know is weird because Diego told you. And then you use your experience of these years to act the best you can. As a diplomat you can’t be a crazy fan even more as you are here actually “working”.  

3

The girls finally arrive. All guests are invited to gather and enjoy the show. Itzy is on the scene they greet everybody. You notice that they are not cheerful as they are in concerts of world tours. They are trying to be mature. They start with “Dalla Dalla”. You resist the urge of fanchant with the song. When they end nobody claps. For the awkward situation they start immediately another song. It happens the same nobody claps or even cheers.

This situation reminds you the footage of Red Velvet presenting at North Korea. The public were all quiet. This was the same. These boring diplomats don’t celebrate anything. Yeji as the leader announces that they are going to perform the last song. “Cheshire”. You want to fanchant so bad. But you can’t. They nailed the last song; the others were good too. But in this song, you see that they are trying their best as is their last song and till now they didn’t get any response from the public. When the song ends you don’t resist the urge and you start clapping. The people around you look at you as a weirdo. But then Diego joins you and other Koreans too. Then everybody is forced to do it. You look at them. All the girls are smiling. You keep clapping and you stand up.

“That was nice, girls” you shout.

This time just some of the other guests joins. And the rest of them just look at you and the others as weirdos.

This moment was definitively the most memorable. Because you see the girls looking at the few ones clapping while smiling. They finally thank everybody and leave the scenario.

4

You start walking around the party just remembering the faces of the girls when they saw you clapping. Their expressions. They are shocked at first. They look at you and then start smiling. It was a rough night for them. But you did the night a little bit easier for them.

Now just some minutes till midnight. You made your job and you saw Itzy you deserve a fucking drink. So, you start walking towards the bar.

“Look that old geezer is trying to dance” Says someone.

You notice that this is the voice of a woman.

You laugh.

Someone appears in front of you looks you directly inside the eyes and says. “Are you laughing at us?”

You are caught off of guard. “No sorry I didn’t mean that. Is just that no one here uses that kind of word ‘old geezer’” You look at her face trying to know his name. “Omo. Sorry Chaeryeong-shi. I really didn’t mean to make fun of you.”

Chaeryeong looks at you. “Do you know my name? Finally, I thought nobody here knew who we are.” She pauses and continues. “And don’t worry I’m pretty sure that Ryujin-unnie doesn’t care if you laugh or not, right, unnie?”

“You are pretty damm right, Chae.” Says Ryujin. “Is just that the old geezer…” You start to laugh again while she continues. “looked really hilarious when he started dancing.”

You see that behind both, Ryujin and Chaeryeong, are the other members of the group. You are internally jumping so hard that maybe your head will hit the roof. But you try to keep your composure. “Nice to meet you all of you.” You look at your watch is just past midnight. Fuck it you are not “working” anymore. “I’m really a big fan of yours.”

The other girls gather around you when they see that you are talking with Ryujin. They stand up beside you. There it is Yuna with her scenary outfit.

While you are looking at her you try to avoid looking at her chest. Or at least pretend that you are not doing it. She is using baggy pants. You wanted to look her legs too. That’s too bad. But you are lucky enough to look her perfect flat belly. When she sees you, she just smiles at you. The other girls as Yuna are wearing also an scenary outfit all of them have a blue or sky blue piece. But Yuna is the one that caught your eye.  

“You are not from here, right?” Asks Ryujin. Yeji gives a little slap on Ryujin’s arm. She is the leader indeed.

You are thinking. Thanks Ryujin. You saved me. I owe you one. It was getting weird because I was looking Yuna for too long.

“Yes yes. I’m not from here. I’m a diplomat assigned here at Korea, Ryujin-shi.”

“You are a diplomat?” Asks Lia. “I always thought that diplomats were old men.”

You answer. “Well the ones that appear on television they are. And maybe as they are the most known for the public you think that. But actually in my country if you do the right things. You can start as a diplomat at 23 years old.”

“Yeah you look kind of young. But here the most of them are old geezers.” Says Ryujin. You laugh. “I thought that the reason why nobody clapped was that they are old geezers. But maybe is because they do what you do.”

“Well. Yeah the most of the times the show is a snob thing. Like opera or traditional theather.”

Ryujin interrupts you. “What thing? What did you say?”

Yuna starts laughing. You answer Ryujin. “See your maknae here knows what I said. Yuna-shi would you mind explaining her?”

Yuna looks at you. Doubtful starts speaking. “Snob is like people that likes fancy things just because they want to be different. Right?” She looks at you.

You are melting. The eyes of your Itzy’s bias are looking right at you.

“Yeah… Is just like that, Yuna-shi.” You answer. “The people here like that kind of things. Kind of unique or least popular. The people around here think that the things that they are discussing are the most important things ever. They are so full of themselves.”

“And… You are here... So, you too?” Asks Yuna looking you again.

You smile. “I hope I don’t. Maybe I would be just like them if I answer that. How about you discover if I’m like them.” You look at Yuna.

In your head you ran the entire place 10 times. You are flirting with Itzy’s Yuna. You are nervous as fuck.

“We’ll see. Then.” Answers Yuna and grins.

Yeji looked what happened. Actually, the whole girl group watched you flirting with their maknae. Yeji stands between you and Yuna and starts shaking your hand. “You are the one that clapped for us, right? Let me thank you for that. We’d like to stay around but we actually just came here for a personal matter. We are going to the bar. It looks like you are about to leave this party, right?”

Her words weren’t even smooth. You were clearly kicked out. “Is that true? I see. Well, thank you for greeting me.” You say trying to sound as polite as you can. “Well maybe I should go…”

What you were saying is interrupted by Yuna holding Yeji’s arms with her hands. She starts pouting. “Unnie, please.”

Yeji’s answer is silence pretending Yuna said nothing. Yuna starts pouting again. “Yeji unnie, please. Besides he is a Midzy, right?” Yuna looks at you.

“Yeah. As I said I’m a big fan.” You add.

When Yeji says nothing again. And you think this is lost. Yuna uses his final technique her little kitten face. He is pleading looking directly at Yeji. Just as Pussy in boots in Shrek. You don’t receive fully the little kitten face but you see it by the side.

Fuck. You are willing to give your house if she asks you doing that face. And you start wondering why the governments and international organizations spent so much money training people like you to end wars. When probably all they need is the Yuna’s little kitten face. Dam even if she asks Putin to end the war. Will he say no?

Yeji tries to avoid her face or maybe just look at the others trying to find an answer. Ryujin just shrugs like saying I don’t care. Lia and Chaeryeong that were looking Yuna’s little kitten face just nod. Yeji sighs and says. “Fine. He can come.”

“Yaaaaaay” says Yuna. She takes your arm and pulls you to start moving. Then she releases so you can follow them.

That expression that she just used was the bubbliest yet the most attractive you’ve ever seen. And she touched you. You can die right now. You start walking behind them. You just can’t help and you take a peek at their asses. Ryujin has a really bubbly ass. Chaeryeong has the largest one and seems like is not that soft because has muscles around. Lia has the softest one like you can sleep there. Yeji has a cute butt. And finally, Yuna has a bubbly cute ass. She is using baggy pants but her butt can be noticed trough them.

While walking Yuna turns lightly her head to you to ask you. “Hey Mr. Diplomat how old… are you?” She paused because she noticed you looking her ass. You were caught in fraganti so you just looked at her and smile. “Well mmmmm… I’m actually 25 years old. International age I mean.”

After you answer Yuna says something to Yeji. Yeji also turns her head to you. Look at you and nods to Yuna.

All of you finally arrive at the bar. Ryujin asks for champagne for everybody including you. She didn’t ask any of you. She just ordered. Yeji slaps her arm. “Ryujin yaaa. Why do you always do that?”

Ryujin answers. “It doesn’t matter. All of us were going to drink that anyway. Right?”

You see around and everybody is nodding. It seems that the dominant Ryujin you see trough tv screen is actually a dominant Ryujin in real life.

“Let’s make a toast. Raise your glasses” Says Yeji. And by looking at the girls and you she is ordering you to do it. Everybody raises their glasses. “Our schedule didn’t let us to celebrate properly the birthday of our beloved maknae. Yuna we all love you.” At the end of this sentence. You start nodding hard. Yeji got quiet and looks at you. All the girls look at you too and then laugh. You blush. “Anyway…” Yeji continues. “Apparently everyone gathered here LOVES you Yuna. Happy Birthday.”

The girls take turns to hug Yuna. First Yeji, then Ryujin. You notice that everyone gets closer and say a few words in Yuna’s ear. When is your turn you gather all the courage in your body and swallow the nervousness and try to look cool.  You hug her and whisper in her ear. “Is true indeed that everybody here loves you. Happy birthday. I wish you have a good time tonight.” She grins and whispers in your ear. “Well, you can help me to have a good time tonight.”

Shit. You think. I felt her chest during that hug. And now she says this I really can’t control my excitement.

And actually, you got hard down there. While you were hoping she didn’t notice it the hug ends and she looks down like looking for something.

It seems like she felt it.

Then the girls sited around the bar and ordered drinks. You took place beneath Yuna. She leaned on you.

“Oppa…” She says and you got surprised.

“Oppa?” You ask inmediately interrupting her.

“Yes you are older than me you are my oppa, right?” She questioned.

“Well yeah I can be your oppa if you want.”

“Nice. I want to ask you something. Can i?”

“Okay. But if is something that I can’t say because of my work please don’t use your little kitten face against me. I will give in and next thing will be that I’m fired.”

She laughs. “My what?”

“Ah I named your pleading face to Yeji-shi before as ‘little kitten face’”

“Because of Shrek?” She asks.

She gets me.

“Yeah. I just love that movie. But continue. Go ahead”

She continues “Anyway I’m not going to ask you something difficult, oppa. I just want to know what should I drink? I don’t have too much experience with that.”

“You are 19 now, right? What have you drinked before? and what did you like or not?”

“Well obviously soju. At first, I didn’t like it. But then I was into that. But tonight, I want something fancier.”

“You are lucky. As this is diplomat’s party. I think this bar has international beverage too. Have you heard about pisco?”

“What?! What is that?”

“Is alcohol is made from grapes: the green ones. And well is nice when you drink it with lemon and other stuff. The beverage is called pisco sour.”

“Well why not. Today I’m celebrating my birthday. If I pretend today is my birthday. This is my first time having 20 years. So today is the day of first times!”

“That’s the attitude!”

“Two pisco sours, please.” You ask to the bartender.

The bartender hands you two glasses. And you hand one to Yuna.  

She sips. “This is like lemonade, right? Just at the end I can taste some alcohol. Is not that strong.”

You nod. “So did you like it?”

“Yeah, kind of.” Answers, Yuna.

5

A couple of glasses later you and Yuna are talking.

“You know what?” You start “I think diplomat’s life and idol’s life have something in common.”

“Why do you think that?” Asks Yuna.

“Well, your life is kind of controlled by someone: your company. In my case the embassy. I’m living here in this country just to work. And also, our opinions can’t be radical. Do you remember that time where Tzuyu waved her flag? The… Taiwanese flag?” Yuna nods. You continue “She apologized then. That means that no idol can give political opinions, right? Well, I can’t neither. I can’t say Taiwan is a country or say what I think about any president or government out loud.”

“Well… Yeah, It makes sense. So, you can’t hang out at parties too?”

You are so into this subject. “Well, if something happens like a drunk fight or something like that. I’m fucked up. Because in the headline will appear ‘The diplomat of this country got drunk and…’”

Suddenly Ryujin hugs you from behind and asks you. “Hey, since when Yuna is your bias? Have you fapped to her photos?”

You blush and start stuttering. “I-I-I D-d-d-didn’t do that!”

Ryujin laughs. “Mr. diplomat knows how to be cute!” She pinches your cheek. Then she says looking at Yuna. “Hey if you don’t achieve nothing with him. I’ll ask his number.”

Yuna hit Ryujin’s arms. “Ryujin-yaaaaa.”

You look at Yuna. “Achieve something?” You ask.

Yuna blushes a little bit. “Well did you remember before when we were walking to the bar? When you were… mmmm… looking my ass?”

You almost spit the pisco sour. Ryujin laughs. “It seems like Mr. Diplomat likes to stare asses. Did you peak mine too?”

Fuck Ryujin is so straight when she talks. This can’t be a mess. You must apologize. You think.

“Ammm… I do. Sorry.” You apologize.

“So who has the best one?” Ryujin asks you.

This brat knows how to make you nervous.

“Y-y-y-yuna” You answer stuttering.

“Well, I give up, Yuna. Mr. Diplomat is in love with you. I don’t get him. Everybody’s favorite is my ass or Chae. I’m leaving it to you.” Ryujin says while walks out to join the other members.

“Really?” Asks Yuna looking at you.

“Yeah. You are my favorite in everything! My ultimate bias.” You shout.

Fuck. It seems I’m really drunk.

Yuna stares at you and doesn’t say anything.

You blew up. She probably isn’t looking for a fanboy. You shouldn’t have drunk too much.

But she caught your arm and walks with you. You just follow her. “What happened, Yuna?” You ask.

She looks at you and keeps walking. “Today is the day of first times.”

She is leading you to the bathroom. She enters and locks the door.

You are in disguise. What to do now is pretty obvious but is Yuna so you are doubtful.

Before you decide anything Yuna kisses you.

Fuck. Is the best kiss you ever had. So this is how it feels when you kiss someone you really really like. Is like an explosion. Like there was nothing and then a big bang.

The kiss breaks. “Did you like it?” Asks Yuna.

You don’t answer just kiss her again. The sensation is something different. Like you can be here forever. But the night was just starting.

Yuna starts touching your back while kissing you. Then your chest. Your neck. She stops. “You don’t want to touch me?” She looks directly in your eyes.

“No, no. Is not that. Is just I didn’t want to ruin the kiss.” You say.

“Oppa. You know what are we doing next, right? I know you are not so innocent!” She says. And starts kissing you again.

Now you touch her. Her neck, her back you go down. Her delicious ass is being groped by your hands. You lean her closer to you by pressing her butt.  

You start kissing her neck. “Yuna. You are so beautiful and cute. Your mouth, your face, your ass.” You press your hands in her butt harder. She just moans “Mmmmmm….” But then she speaks. “I can feel your dick poking my abs. Just like before when you hugged me.”

You press her butt stronger. So, she can feel it more. Then you lift her up by grabbing her legs and kiss her neck again. “Mmm… I want to see your tits, Yuna.” While being in the air she manages to take off her blouse. You see her lingerie and anxiously you start kissing around her tits. While she is trying to untie her bra. Finally, you receive in your view her heavenly boobs. Her nipples are totally pink and are like inviting you to suck them.

This is the best feast I’ve ever had.

You kiss and lick her tits while the only response from Yuna is “Mmmm.” When you left her legs touch the ground, she kisses you again and she kisses your neck this time. Now she is trying to get your formal shirt off. You start undressing yourself. She kisses your neck and starts going down till she is in front of your crotch. She is in her knees.

“Mmmm… I want to know if you are a big fan as you said.” She touches your crotch. And starts undressing your pants. Then she just puts down your boxers.

Your dick is hard as never was. When she puts down your boxers your cock jump off and slaps Yuna’s face. She looks at you and then stares your cock.

“It looks that you were right. You are the biggest”

Then she starts stroking. You just moan.

“I thought you said it was first times’ day.”

“Yes oppa. This is my first time with a foreign guy and my first time sucking cock big like yours”

She starts licking the tip of your cock.

“Oppa I’m starting to doubt if this can fit in my mouth.”

“Let’s find out.” You say. She nods and starts putting it in her mouth.

First the tip and then she tries to push deeper. Her mouth is full but there is plenty of dick left. She starts moving. You can’t deny that you had better heads before. But… She looks at you while sucking you. Then you are aware again that the one sucking you off is Itzy’s Yuna. So, you start to feel better. Fuck you could say that you are even about to cum. You caught her head with your hands and start pushing.

“Fuck Yuna. I can feel your throat!”

She just says “Mmmm mmmm” as she can’t talk.

“I’m going to cum. Fuck. Fuck.”

You start cumming and you relax the grip on her head. And she frees. Some of the cum goes in her face.

“Mmmm… You are rough, oppa. I like that.” She picks some toilet paper of the bathroom to clean her face. “But you know what this is only starting. I want that big thing inside me now.”

She starts unbuckling her pants and puts it down and also her underwear at the same time. She has a shaved cute pussy and is already wet.

“Oppa, fuck me.” She says and then she bends and you have a total view of her ass. That beloved ass.

“You want me to fuck you?” You spank her.

“Aah. Yes, oppa. Fuck me with your cock!”

You grin and start to play with your dick around her pussy. “Oppa, just fuck me already!” She says.

You put your cock inside her. And you feel tightness. You haven’t feel something like this before. “Yuna you are so tight!” You say. And try to go deeper. “Fuck Yuna really I’m not lying you are too tight!”

“Mmmm… No oppa is just that you are too big. Just keep going. Mmmm…”

You start going deeper in a slow pace. Finally, you get to get your full dick inside. Yuna is moaning already. “Yuna, prepare yourself”

“Whaaaaaaa… aaah… mmm… mmm” She starts moaning. You are slamming her in a rapid pace. And then she says “Cumming aaaah” You don’t slow down. And then she shouts again moaning again but this time her legs start to shake. But you don’t slow down.

Fuck you’ d love to see Yuna’s cumming face. But right now in exchange you have a full view of her cute butt and her pussy while your cock enters and disappears. She is moaning so hard.

“Aaaaah… Oppa. I love how you fuck me. You are really deep into me.” She says.

And is true is almost like your tip is kissing her womb. This tightness is almost like her walls are never letting you go. Like their insides are sucking you up. Is this heaven? The pleasure right now is out of this world.

While dreaming off, it happens you cum inside her. Fuck you really fast up the pace because now you are out of breath. Yuna stands up looks at you smiles and kisses you. “That was one of the best orgasms I’ve ever had. And really orgasms because it happened multiple times” Yuna says. “You are special and fuck you cummed so much”. At the moment white liquid starts to drip from her crotch.

Suddenly the door sounds. There are lots of knock knock and then a voice: “Yuna we need to leave now. They found out about the manager bribed. We will be waiting for you on the car outside.”

You look to Yuna. And she starts explaining. “Have you heard anytime about Itzy joining a party where they were having a show. Or have happened ever that the last entertainment show joins the party in your diplomat events?”

“Well… Being honest I never heard of that. And that never happened. I don’t remember that the fat lady singer ever joined the party after her show.”

“Yeah. That’s what’s normal. But we bribed our manager to tell JYP we were already at the dorm and we sneaked into the party.”

“So you weren’t invited to the party? And wait did you lie to Jyp?” You ask.

While this conversation was made Yuna started dressing up. As you see it you start looking for your clothes too.

Yuna answers “Yeah, that’s why we were just in the bar. I mean we didn’t want to catch too much attention. And also, we were with our stage clothes if we were invited, we probably were wearing some fancy dresses or something like that. And yeah, we lied to Jyp. He is nice but sometimes he is just a pain in the ass. You know if it was for him, I’ll be virgin even now.”

“Well yeah if you had gone to the main saloon, you probably had caught more attention. Then I must be really thankful for that bribe because if that wasn’t happened, this wasn’t happened.”

“Yes, oppa. And also, is thanks to Yeji. When you looked my ass, I was asking Yeji if I can be with you and she nodded. But sadly, I must say bye now. I really want to have another meeting with you and that big thing of yours.” She kisses you and continues. “and maybe we can try other things. You know Ryujin says that anal sex is way better than normal sex. But I don’t know maybe I need to experience it by first hand.” She hands you a piece of paper.

“Is your number?” You ask like pleading.

“Aww you can be a cutie pie too. Yes, it is. I must be going. Is better if I leave alone. Wait inside here and after a couple minutes leave. Ok?” She says.

“Yes. I’ll be expecting our next meeting.”

“Me too.” She kisses you and then leaves the bathroom.

That actually happened. You think. I had sex with my ultimate bias.

And now you remember all the things the view of her precious ass. Her eyes while she was sucking you off. The taste of her lips. Her essence. Her ass in your palms. Her surprised eyes when she saw your cock. The sensation of his tongue in your cock and her throat.

The sound of your phone wakes you up. Some text messages.

“Hey Oppa is Yuna. It seems like you weren’t the only diplomat getting fun. Ryujin also had fun with an argentinian diplomat. And he knows you, so the girls and I got his number and yours. Let’s have another meeting soon”

You smile. What is even better that you fucking your bias from Itzy is that your friend could do it too and maybe he even had anal sex with Ryujin. It seems that this kind of parties are not so bad.

[yourtongzhihazel]

thoughts on anarchism?

The anarchists I've met IRL, especially while organizing, have been some of the most wonderful comrades and I wouldn't hesitate to work with them again. I'm sure there's many online too who're just like them. I do admire how quickly they are willing to use direct action, even if it's not the best tactic to be used or the only means to an end. Some anarchist ideas, while not necessarily achievable on a large scale, are certainly is very helpful for short term, small scale survival, like mutual aid for example.

Anarchism as an ideology though, I do have strong disagreements with. When I was first dipping my toes into studying political-economy, I had a very brief time where I was following both anarchist and marxist accounts and forums. And often, when I asked the marxists a question about how things would or potentially could work, they could point to real examples as much as they could theoretical ones, and they could point out the pros and cons of their own systems. But when I asked anarchists similar questions, there was generally a kind of hesitancy or wishy-washiness or vagueness which I really didn't get from the marxists. As a poc, I remember a black man had asked anarchists what the solution to a group of racist factory workers voting him out of their work force was and no one had any answers beyond, "well at that stage you really wouldn't expect racism on that level". But the marxists would say racism is a social ill that takes time to combat, even after the revolution thus the proletarian state exists to ensure cases like that are investigated and corrected. A more poignant example would be like the Chinese trans woman who sued her former place of work for firing her for being trans and the state sided with and supported her rights. In some ways, I think I was always inevitably going to go down the marxist route given my family background, but that's not to say I didn't give anarchism a fair shot in the beginning.

More theoretically, the roots of anarchism has always been deeply entwined with petite bourgeois ideology. Similar to liberalism, it supposes that the liberation of the collective comes from the liberation of the self. That's not to say anarchists are liberals (well, actual anarchists anyway), but rather, has been influenced by a deeply individualistic ideology like liberalism. The reason we marxists tend to call anarchists idealists can mainly stem from our biggest disagreement, which is the utilization of the state. It's unreasonable to destroy the greatest tool a class has in the class war once that class gets its hands on it, especially since the bourgeoisie have no qualms about using it as a bludgeon against the proletariat. The state has always been used as a mediator for class warfare and whichever class controls it controls the arbitration on class conflict. Like it or not, revolution, just like the construction of socialism, will come at different times with different arising conditions for every country. It's simply not enough to rely on hopes of either a total revolution or to defend your own revolution without the tools provided by a state. After the October Revolution, the nascent USSR was invaded by over 20 foreign countries and they threw them all out. During the second world war, more than 4 million fascists were killed on the eastern front and the Red Army marched into Berlin in the end. Both feats would be impossible without strong state apparatuses. There's more to it than just this, of course. If you want, you can read a (admittedly, pretty scathing) critique by J.V. Stalin, Anarchism or Socialism?, for some more detailed information.

My last point is that in many online spaces, there's no doubt a big overlap between radlibs and anarchism or at the very least, anarchist aesthetics. I can't tell you how many times I've been called some slur or 'tankie' or some variation of the two by someone presenting themselves to be anarchist who then turn around and say the most unbelievably liberal talking points. I've now come to realize that the reason for this overlap is two-fold. The first is that in liberal democracies, where individualism is extremely strong and thus anarchism, as a more individualistic ideology, appeals more to radlibs. The second is that anarchism is very easily marketable, even more so than marxism. These two kind of go hand-in-hand as well.

In the west and usamerica in particular, we don't have much of a choice in regards to who we side with and I would actually take an anarchist comrade over the "queering the MIC" libs in the DSA or whatever. I'll still jest about about anarchism tho.

[panda-writes-kpop]

Tzuyu - Everything, Everything (Requested!)

A/N: Gonna be honest - this might be one of my favorite requests I've ever done. It's so cute, and Tzuyu is adorable in this, plus we love a happy little family. 💜

TW: Reader and Tzuyu have a kid together, airplanes, reader and Tzuyu's mom do not get along, a little angst with a happy ending :)

Summary: A trip to Taiwan gives Tzuyu and your daughter a chance to see their homeland and a close relative, but you're less than excited to see someone you don't see eye-to-eye with.

♡ Masterlist ♡

“Do you have everything packed?”

“Yeah, I grabbed this!” Your daughter proudly shows you her stuffed deer plushie, and you smile as you zip up her luggage. “I wanna see Grandma.”

I’m glad that one of us wants to.

To you, it wasn’t a secret that Tzuyu’s mother wasn’t a fan of you dating her daughter. You didn’t know if it had to do with the fact that you were a foreigner, or that she just wasn’t a fan of you in general, but her cold glares and pointed words weren’t missed by you at all.

You, however, knew how much this trip would mean to Tzuyu. Her mother had made a few trips over to Korea since the two of you had gotten together and, later in your relationship, adopted your daughter, but Tzuyu wanted her daughter to see the home land that her mother was raised in.

That fact did not calm your nerves about seeing Tzuyu’s mother in Taiwan, but if it would make Tzuyu and your daughter happy, you’d do it.

I’d do anything for either of them, in all honesty.

A gentle hand on the small of your back causes you to snap out of your thoughts.

“Are you ready, love?” Tzuyu asks your daughter, who excitedly nods. “We should be heading out soon. The plane leaves in a few hours.”

Your daughter grabs her suitcase before clambering out of the room. You and Tzuyu laugh before she directs her attention to you.

“Are you packed and ready to leave?”

As ready as I’ll ever be.

“Of course, darling.” You grab her free hand and press a kiss to it. “Let’s head to the airport.”

~

You awkwardly stand back as Tzuyu hugs her mother before gesturing to her daughter. Your daughter hugs her grandmother’s knees before she is scooped up into the latter’s arms.

Why do I feel like a stranger in my own family?

You wrap your arms around your side as you force yourself to smile as Tzuyu’s mother looks towards you.

It’s just a weekend with her. You can last through a weekend.

Her eyes narrow, and your shoulders sink as you take a step towards her.

“It’s great to see you again.” You say, in an effort to offer an olive branch, but she doesn’t budge.

“Likewise.” Her response is curt towards you before she turns towards her granddaughter. 

The two of them start talking, and you sigh before dejectedly walking towards them. Tzuyu’s hand grabs yours, and when you meet her eyes, the concern radiates off of her.

Are you alright? , she mouths to you.

I’ll survive, you mouth back, it’s just a weekend, after all.

She frowns, but you turn away before you can catch the concern in her eyes changing into disappointment.

~

“How has her Chinese lessons been going?” Tzuyu’s mom asks, and you remain silent as Tzuyu, who sits next to you in the cab, speaks up.

“They’ve been going very well.” Tzuyu gestures to your daughter, who says a broken sentence in Mandarin to her grandma.

“Ah, you’re doing well, sweetheart! If only you weren’t forced to learn three languages…” Tzuyu’s mom glares at you, and you bow your head in shame.

You look over to Tzuyu for help, and her eyes widen as she tries to backtrack.

“We think it’s important for her to learn the language of both of her parents, along with the country that she’s raised in.” Tzuyu pointedly says, and you nod in agreement. “Besides, they’ve been learning Chinese to speak with you, and I’ve been learning English to communicate with their parents. I think it’s a matter of give-and-take, don’t you?”

You show the same amount of surprise as Tzuyu’s mother does, but you begin to smile before grabbing her hand. She always stood up for you when you needed her most. She offers you a gentle smile before her mother speaks.

“Right…” Tzuyu’s mother grumbles, and the rest of the cab ride to Tzuyu’s childhood home is peacefully quiet.

~

Another day and night of tension pass before Tzuyu pulls you aside and says something.

“Hey, what’s going on between you and my mother?”

“Huh?” You tilt your head at her. “What do you mean?”

“Please don’t be like that with me, darling.” She places a gentle hand on your shoulder, and you bite your lip as you try to hold back the emotions that are threatening to break through. “I want to know what’s up. I worry about you.”

“It’s not anything major, I-”

“Your daughter knows.” Tzuyu interjects, and you pause as you feel a wave of shame pass you.

“She does?” You flinch at the weakness in your voice, but it’s how you truly feel.

“She does. She asked me why you and grandma don’t like each other.”

You place a hand on your forehead before looking at Tzuyu.

“What did you tell her?”

“I told her that sometimes adults don’t see eye-to-eye, especially when it comes to their concern over a loved one.”

“Tzuyu, did you talk to your mother?” You ask with concern, and she nods, which causes you to panic. “It’s true, isn’t it? She really doesn’t like me at all.”

You only curl up into yourself when Tzuyu nods her head. She sits next to you, on the bed, before removing her hand from your shoulder. You place your head on her shoulder as she wraps a loose arm around you.

“I’m sorry for ruining the trip.”

“You didn’t ruin the trip.” She tries to reassure you, but it doesn’t help. “At least, you didn’t mean to ruin the trip. I should’ve-”

“Don’t bring this back on yourself, Tzuyu.” You gently scold her, but she sighs in response.

“How can I not? How can I not blame myself for being ignorant that my lover and mother didn’t get along until it was made blatantly obvious?”

“How do we fix this, baby?” You softly ask with the remaining strength that’s in your body.

“I already did. Don’t worry about it.” Her free hand combs through your hair, and you yawn as you snuggle against her body.

“Y’know, you might act nonchalant and unbothered, but you really cannot help to be involve yourself with other people, huh?”

With sleepy eyes, you look up at Tzuyu one more time before you’re lulled to sleep.

“I suppose you’re right. You always see the best in people, don’t you?”

~

You smile at your daughter as she excitedly bounces around the room.

“Do we have to leave?!?! I wanna stay with Grandma for longer.”

You wrap your arms around Tzuyu, who blushes slightly before brushing a piece of hair out of her face.

“We will come back soon, I promise.” Tzuyu says before laughing at you trying to eat a piece of her hair. “You are a dork, darling.”

“But I’m your dork.” You joke before Tzuyu laughs again.

“I suppose so.”

“You suppose?” You jokingly say with anger as your daughter laughs at your antics.

Someone clears their throat, and the three of you direct your attention towards the doorway where Tzuyu’s mother stands.

“You three are welcome back anytime.” She emphasizes before her granddaughter runs over and hugs her.

“Three?” You mutter breathlessly as Tzuyu squeezes your arm.

"Three."

[nieves-de-sugui]

A Quick History of BL

As someone who wrote a thesis on this very subject a few years ago, here is the short version of how BL has evolved throughout the years. For the new comers ❤ 

a minute of silence for the original form of this post that tumblr decied to not save right after I saved it

I am going to go with a chronological approach. Unfortunately, I cannot put everything in one post so if there’s any questions about this or that aspect of the history of BL that you want to know and it’s not talked about here, you are welcome to ask me directly :)

Context and influences - Japan in the 60′s

Before the US forced Japan to open its borders to the outside world in the 1800s, homosexual practices were common place between budist monks, samurais and kabuki actors. During the Edo period (1600s to 1800s) there was a very rich amount of poetry, art, books (such as Nanshoku Okagami (The Great Mirror of Male Love) by Ihara Saikaku) and codes of conduct about how to have a good master/aprentice relationship, kinda like the greeks if you know what I mean. However, with the arrival of western influences, in order to become a more “civilized” country, it was all put in the closet. 

Yet, in the 60′s Japan started to pick it up again through literature about young androginous beautiful boys (aka bishounen). On one hand, in 1961, the novel Koibitotachi no Mori (A Lover’s Forest) by Mari Mori was published. It tells the story of a young and beautiful 19 year old worker and a half french half japanese aristocrat, and their tragic romance. On the other hand, Taruho Inagaki wrote Shounen ai no Bigaku (The esthetics of boy-love), an essay on aesthetic eroticism (of which he wrote a lot of). All this was know as Tanbi (lit. aesthetic) literature. It generally refered to literature with implied homosexuality and homoeroticism such as works by Oscar Wilde, Jean Cocteau, etc. And of course, Mori and Inagaki. 

In chinese tanbi is read as danmei (term used to refer to BL novels in china today, ie: The Untamed it’s all connected friends).

From the birth of Shonen Ai  to Yaoi - 70′s to the late 80′s

Around the beginning of the 70′s, shoujo was being revolutionized by the Year 24 Group, a generation of women manga authors (mangaka) who started to explore new themes. Among them, their interest in tanbi gave birth to a new subgenre: Shounen ai. 

Their most known manga were:

Kaze to Ki no Uta (The Ballad of the Wind and Trees) by Keiko Takemiya, and Toma no Shinzo (The Heart of Thomas) by Moto Hagio

Their stories are characterized by having suffering eurpoean bishounen in boarding schools, living an idealized perfect love (meaning passionate) that, despite the tragic end of one of them, lives forever in the other. 

As this genre starts getting popular, more and more fans of these stories start making their own self published manga, aka doujinshi, of the genre. It is around this time that the term Yaoi is coined. Meaning “YAma nashi, Ochi nashi, Imi nashi” (no climax, no fall, no meaning). Basically PWP fanfiction, for the most part. Doujinshis could be considered an equivalent of fanfiction in manga form.  It is also here that the term Fujoshi (aka Rotten Girl, for liking rotten things) starts being used to refer to women readers of yaoi. 

With this rise in popularity come the start of the commercialization of the genre. Which meant the publication of magazines dedicated solely to yaoi/shonen ai/BL. The most popular yaoi manga magazine at the time was June. The common trait of their stories being the therapeutic power of the love between the mains. The traumatized character would heal throught this newfound love.

Most of the stories at this time happened in the West (Europe or the States) as the exploration of these dark themes intertwined with homosexual romance and homoeroticism still feel safer to explore as a foreign concept. One example would be Banana Fish (1985).

Commercialization and Yaoi Ronso -  90′s 

As more publishing houses pick the genre up, the term Boys Love is used to include every type of manga about homosexuality made for women. 

The increasing amount of BL series sees a changes in its themes: 

the start of the “gay for you” trope where one mantains their heterosexuality despite being in a homsexual relationship, 

the uke/seme dynamic (mirroring hetero realtionships) also relating to physical appearence (one being more feminine, the other being more masculine), 

the use of rape as an act love (sexual violence has always been present but here it becomes a staple),

anal sex as the only type of sex, 

older and more masculine men start to appear 

they now happen in Japan

Good examples of the presence of these themes in manga are Gravitation (1996) or Yatteranneeze (1995).

However in 1992, Masaki Sato (a gay activist/drag queen) wrote a letter in a small scale feminist magazine attacking yaoi and pointing out how it “represented a kind of misappropriation or distortion of gay life that impacted negatively upon Japanese gay men”. The female readers of yaoi responded, defending the genre as a means to escape gender roles and explore sexual themes that was never meant to represent the realities of gay men. This is know as the Yaoi Ronso (Yaoi Debates).

The debate ended with both sides understanding more of each other, with mangakas starting to include queer views in their works. It also started the academic reasearch of BL. 

Yet, it is a debate that has been restarted more than once, as it is still relevant despite the evolution of the genre.

more on this on another post

Globalization and coining of BL - 2000′s 

By the beginning of the 2000s BL is being sold all over the world (like all manga), and has become a stable industry. We could say it has finally become it’s own genre. 

Some of the most well known manga series, to us (in the west), of the time are:

Junjou Romantica 2002 Koi Suru Boukun 2004 Love Pistols 2004 Haru wo Daiteita 1999

all of these have anime adaptations for the curious ones

We also start seeing short anime adaptations or special episodes of the most popular series, with questionable themes, such as: adoptive father x adoptive son  (Papa to Kiss in the Dark 2005), father x son’s friend (Kirepapa 2008), etc... 

However the themes remain more or less the same. Junjou Romantica’s love story starts with a non-con sex scene by the older one (masc, seme) to the younger one (more feminine, uke) addressed years later in the manga btw. Koi Suru Boukun’s love story is triggered by aphrodisiacs and rape. They’re still very present in the stories but slowly going away. A mangaka that represents this era could be Natsume Isaku (Candy Color Paradox 2010).

Change is slow in Japan. Even though the voices of LGBT+ people started to be taken into account in the genre it is not until later that we see it reflect in the mangas themselves. However, we can already see the start of this in Doukyusei (Classmates) (2006) by Asumiko Nakamura. Also Kinou Nani Tabeta? (2007) which is actually part of a more mature genre: Seinen.

It is my personal (subjective) theory that the BL of this era was the one that got popular outside of Japan, which is why we see lots of references to the themes, tropes and dynamics of this time in today’s BL series. 

The LGBTzation of BL and the rise of webtoons - 2010′s to 2020′s

Slowly but surely LGBT characters and themes enter the scene of BL. Existing simultaneously with the previous tropes and themes, we start seeing a shift in these stories. We now see:

characters that identify as gay or some type of queer

discussions about homophobia

more mature themes about life and romance

At the same time as we get the usual love stories with the usual themes, a new trend starts to take over. And we get simultaneously, cute, sometimes questionable but light love stories:

Love Stage 2010 Ashita wa Docchi da! 2011 Kieta Hatsukoi 2019

More profound stories and darker or more complex themes:

Blue Sky Complex 2013  Saezuru Tori wa Habatakanai 2011 (mafias) Given 2013 (suicide) Hidamari ga Kikoeru 2013 (deafness)

And others that adress the queer experience in a more mature way (which might actually fall into the Seinen genre)

Itoshi no Nekokke 2010 (slice of life, queer characters) Smells like Green Spirit 2011 (two ways to deal with a homphobic society) Strange 2014 (relationships between men) Shimanami Tasogare 2015 (an LGBT group helps a closeted gay) Old Fashioned Cupcake 2019 (you know this one 😉) Bokura no Micro na Shuumatsu 2020 (the end of the world)

As queer stories are explored, BL mangakas and mangakas from other genres start to consider more stories about queer people such as the Josei Genderless Danshi ni Aisaretemasu (My Androgynous Boyfriend) (2018) by Tamekou, or the Shoujo Goukon ni Itarra Onna ga Inakatta Hanashi (The story of when I went to a mixer and there were no women) (2021) by Nana Aokawa. 

Still, we can see two realities live side by side. Doukyuusei gets adapted into an impactful animated movie in 2016, meanwhile Banana Fish gets an anime adaptation that keeps the homoeroticism but not the homosexuality.  

For those who might be interested. Here are some of the authors that represent the first half of this era, where they start to include newer points of view:

Scarlet Beriko, HAYAKAWA Nojiko, KURAHASHI Tomo, OGERETSU Tanaka, Harada, KII Kanna (Stranger by the Sea), etc...

And authors that while keeping classical themes break the stereotypes in a subtle manner:

CTK, ZAKK, Jyanome, Cocomi, Hidebu Takahashi, SUZUMARU Minta, etc...

Mangakas also no longer stick to one genre only. They explore whichever of them they want, from BL to Seinen to others. 

ie: Tamekou, 

or Asumiko Nakamura

The curious case of Webtoons

With the digitalization of mangas, throught Renta and Lehzin, it has become easier (and more expensive) to access these stories. Korea makes and appearence with their webtoons. Through the lack of piracy protections and the majority of them being digital, manhwa (korean webtoons) sees a rise in popularity. Through the digital medium the influencee can be the influencer.

However, like many other East Asian countries they have consumed BL, without hearing about the conversations about BL. So they end up mantaining the older themes and stereotypes that newer BL is trying to leave behind. Therefore, we end up with a mix of old and new, ie:

Killing Stalking 2016 Cherry Blossoms After Winter 2017 Painter of The Night 2019

Additionally, it is also thanks to the easy access to internet that Omegaverse, with its higher dramatic stakes (that parallel hetero dynamics), enters the mangasphere in 2016. It has grown in popularity ever since.

With the Thai BL Boom of 2020, Japan rediscovers its own BL market and starts investing in it more. Which is why we get live action adaptations of BL manga that was popular years ago (Candy Color Paradox was a manga from 2010), the more recent ones (The End of the World With You) or new anime adaptations (Saezuru Tori wa Habatakanai in 2020). 

more on this in my japanese live action BL post

What has it become now? is it BL? ML? or Seinen? Or is it all just gay manga?

It is clear that Shoujo manga (with BL, Josei and Seinen) is exploring queer themes such as gender and sexuality more and more. Japan is interested in this conversation, not only in manga (Genderless fashion). Which brings up the current question in BL studies: Does it make sense to keep these categories?

As a response to BL, ML (Male Love), which is made by gay men for gay men, started happening (around the 70s too). And Bara (gay manga porn) in response to Yaoi. However both gay men and women read BL and ML. We also see other themes being explored through BL, such as friendship (in BL Metamorphose), food (in Kinou Nani Tabeta), male relationships of all kinds (in Strange), and different queer views on life and its challenges (in Shimanami Tasogare). More and more what is LGBT and what is BL is merging, the line is blurred. 

Conclusion

BL has been in my life for longer than it hasn't. It is through shoujo and BL that I have come to understand people and romance.

It is flawed, like everything else this life, but it's flourishing in many ways.

The genre feels old and new at the same time. 

We can still find shounen ai/tanbi elements in more modern manga (All About J). Or the gay for you in a new light (Itoshi no Nekkoke). Or more educational manga on queer issues (My Brother’s Husband by Gengoroh Tagame). BL has around 50 years of existence but it is also being born anew in Thailand and Korea. 

BL manga will continue to evolve in acordance to Japanese tastes, as it is still a local market. Hopefully the korean webtoons that get popular will be the more daring ones in their themes. Who knows where it will go from here? The only thing we know for sure is that it will continue to change. Isn't it exciting?

A post on the evolution of live action BL in Japan is coming, to complement this post.  As well as a more detailed explanation of the Yaoi Debates and gay manga.

[ghouljams]

Hello :) if you’re taking requests May I ask for some more cowboy!Gaz? I love his little family, him and bug are too cute!

Daddy Gaz my beloved, I want that man holding a baby at all times

You think, if you were to do it all over again... No, you wouldn't change a thing. You watch Gaz on the floor with Bug, holding up a little stuffed caterpillar and wiggling its head with his finger as he plays with them, and you think you couldn't have done anything better if you'd tried. Gaz passes off the stuffy when Bug reaches for it, their little hands so eager as they bounce with excitement. He toys with one of their dark curls as they babble and hold up the caterpillar for him again, asking with baby babbles for him to keep playing.

You press your fingers against your lips watching the wide toothless smile your baby gives Gaz, and the way it seems to absolutely melt him. The man presses his hand over his heart and turns to give you the biggest pout you've ever seen. Truly a masterpiece of a facial expression. "Always puttin' on a show for me, yeah?" He asks Bug turning his attention back to them, "Cute little bugger."

You can't deny that. Bug could be a gerber baby the way their chubby cheeks and sparkly eyes seem to charm everyone they come across. Actually if you were going to change something you would've tried to find Gaz while you were on the girls trip that ended with you knocked up. At least then you would've gotten with him sooner. Of course he was probably deployed when you were in London. It's probably for the best that you met him when you did because it means you get to enjoy this. You little instant family.

-

You're really starting to think this was a great idea, you're just going to Mamma Mia yourself a baby. You're in a foreign country, you've got a hot guy who's more than happy to spend all night fucking you, you can't think of anything that could go wrong. Except maybe not getting pregnant, or getting an STD.

You pause grinding your hips against the thigh wedged between your legs, pulling back to ask, "You're clean right?"

The guy nods, pulling your hips to keep that lovely friction. You get a nice little jolt of pleasure each time your clit drags against him. Even through your jeans, you're drooling for him. You can only imagine what a mess your panties are. "Gotta be," He explains in a low accented tone, "military."

Good enough for you. You push against his thigh, enjoy the way he moves a hand to shove it down the back of your pants and grip your ass, kneading the soft flesh appreciatively. There's this strange look in his eyes when you meet them, his stare so intense you worry he's looking through you and not at you. You already told him what you were looking for, no strings sex, with a little lie about taking plan B in the morning. You hope he isn't getting second thoughts.

"I'm Ky-" You cut him off, you don't want to know his name, don't want any way of looking him up later.

"No talking, only baby making." You inform him. He laughs, the sound bubbles up from his chest and fills the room. You think, if your baby inherits anything from him you'd want it to be the smile he fixes on you.

"S'fine," He presses his lips to yours again, and you feel the curve of his smile as he kisses you, "always wanted to be a dad."

[impuls1veworm]

UNWANTED CONFLICT.

Baji, Draken, Mikey, Kazutora, Rindou, Izana, Chifuyu, and Souya. - TokyoRev

Getou, Sukuna, and Toji - Jujutsu Kaisen

˚₊ ⋆ ☠︎︎ ⋆ ₊˚ prompt: — “what do you mean?! of course i was going to defend you. Nobody has the right to talk about you like that!”

The two had been in Tokyo, window shopping, as the both of you had no other plans for the day. It was crowded which wasn’t unusual for the city, causing the two of you to hold hands to avoid losing the other in the swarm of people. You and him had found reprieve when you came across a section of the city that had more breathing room, and decided to linger outside one of the stores. He was telling you a story about something that happened during his teen years, probably exaggerating a few details to keep you laughing.

You had let out a belly laugh after one particular part, backing up a little, and accidentally bumping into someone that had happened to be walking behind you. You turned to apologize to the person, an older man, that you had bumped into, but before you could apologize the man had cut you off. The older man made a snide remark towards you, being intentionally cruel, before attempting to walk off.

Your boyfriend wasn’t letting it slide though, instantly coming to your defense after hearing what the man had to say. Grabbing the older man by the back of the shirt, he yanked him back, causing the older man to stumble and almost fall. Your boyfriend barely let him gain his footing before he was shoving his chest, getting in his face. After the third threat to the old man’s life in under a minute, you decided it was time to intervene. Grabbing your boyfriend's arm, you looked around at the growing crowd around the two of you. You pulled at his arm, telling him it’s not worth it. How it was causing a scene and he didn’t have to defend you to that extent.

“What do you mean?! of course i was going to defend you, nobody has the right to talk about you like that!” He argued back. You truly did appreciate him standing up for you like that, but the scene it caused left you feeling slightly embarrassed. Not being as confrontational as him, especially in a foreign country, you would have let the incident roll off your back if he hadn’t been here. It wasn’t worth the energy if it escalated to the point of authorities arriving, knowing it likely wouldn’t have gone great if they arrived anyway.

“And I get that, but you’re not underst— you know what, just take me home; please.” You asked. You could tell by the look on his face that he had more to say, but he dropped it, walking in the direction of your place.

You could tell this argument wasn't finished.

[kivedreams]

CAN'T GET ENOUGH. knj.

pair. idol namjoon x f. reader. 

genre. established relationship, long distance, have never said I love you. 

warnings. +18, daddy kink, unprotected sex, power imbalance, rough sex, filthy sex, dirty talk, fingering, namjoon is really demanding, lil degradation.

synopsis; you’ve been waiting for me so patiently, I know, I’ll reward you, you little slut! or namjoon has 3 free days from the military service and he decides to enjoy them with you.

word count: 3.5k

A/N: I haven't write a fic in seven years, I hope this lives to the today's standards. kive

It was already sunset, everything felt quiet and lonely in the apartment, music had become a sad thing to play, so enjoying silence had become your main thing the last 3 months, since he had gone, as a foreigner you didn't fully comprehend the concept behind military service, in your country military had never been a big thing, consequences of being an small country that never seem to need it, so the moment that you realize that Namjoon actually had to enlist for around 2 years made a fissure in your heart, you really could not imagine how life was going to be for you, for both of you during that time, will your relationship be able to fight the distance? you had already been dating for over a year and everything felt like a fairytale, sneaking around, going to cafes in the countryside, hiding in your apartments, the sneaky kisses, grabbing hands under the table, and hiding your relationship from everyone else, because it was safer for both of you, it made things fun and exciting, but of course it was sad too, not being able to go around seoul’s streets holding hands, not being able to share pictures of you together, not being able to kiss him whenever you wanted and denying the obvious from everyone, that you were completely in love with Kim Nam Joon.

You knew that it was going to be the result after accepting that personal assistant job, but it was ok, the pay was amazing, the opportunities were amazing, you were going to be working side by side with someone you have already admired for years, so just keeping a lid in your feelings wasn't going to be a hard sacrifice, but two whole years being behind the smart, handsome, and talented men that namjoon was, proved to be way harder than you thought It'll be, of course you got drunk, of course you forgot with who you were with, and of course it ended up with you, namjoon, the empty hall in your building, and you shouting to the world that your boss was the most beautiful men that you have ever seen and of course that it would be a pleasure to have his children, you would have been honored to do so, and the last thing that you remember is namjoon’s laugh and then falling into the darkness.

Next morning, you woke up in your bed, completely tuck in, with you curls in a bonnet, not a single drop of makeup on and a dreadful headache, you felt so bad that you thought you might puke, water was a must, while you walked down to kitchen in your one bedroom studio apartment, that was perfect for you and your cats, nobody could've expected what your eyes saw.

Kim Nam Joon was sat in your living room reading one of the books that you picked up the last time you were in the bookstore, Kim Ji Young born 1982 by Choi Nam-Joo, the shock was visible in your eyes, you didn't know what to do or what to say, you wanted to just roll back to your room and hide there for the next 5 years, why was Namjoon in your living room reading on your brown chair one of your books and drinking coffee from that pretty pink mug you thrifted a while ago? he did not notice your presence until you cat, Komi walked over to you meowing and demanding to be feeded.

He lowered his gaze from the book to look at your completely shocked face. “Good morning Y/N, I knew you were going to sleep till late. I made coffee and breakfast, do you want some?” he said with a little smirk, that did not mean too much for you at the moment.

You were frozen by the idea of having Namjoon in your house, you've been dropped off with him a thousand times, but he had never come in. Once you realize you've been in complete silence for a minute since he asked, you remembered that you had to respond. “Y-yes, I do” you said with a low but strong voice. “Ok, sit down I'll get it for you” he said while standing up, you couldn't sit down without feeding your cats first, you used it as an excuse to go to the bathroom and see the state that you were, bonnet falling up to the side, your bare face that showed how much you drank last night, you quickly washed up your face and fixed the bonnet because it was going to be impossible to do more than that.

Walking with small steps to the kitchen, you said good morning as soon as you saw Namjoon, he smiled at you and said the same, offering you the same pink cup but full of fresh coffee. “How do you feel? Do you have any headaches? I ordered some hangover medicine for you” he said lifting a white bag with the nearest pharmacy logo printed all over it, you could feel the embarrassment in your whole body, grabbing the bag and looking thru its contents, you took the gold colored bottle that you new was going to get rid of any traces of the effect of alcohol in your system. He put a bowl full of rice next to you, making you realize the side dishes that were in the countertop, and while holding two bowls, one that looked it had kimchi on it and another  with salted veggies on it Kim NamJoon said,

“So, you'll be honored to have my children?” in a laughing tone, and you knew it was over.

========

That have been a whole year ago and it was still embarrassing for you, but somehow your feelings were not one sided, and thanks to that dumb slip off, you were there now in the apartment that you shared with the man of your dreams, it was lonely without him, but you were stress free and relaxed with your little demons, your cats, exactly what Namjoon wanted. When he suggested that it would be better for you to move in with him, the idea made you nervous but in the good way, moving together was an important step in your relationship. It made clear that Namjoon was taking the relationship as serious as you were, and honestly everything was better and easier.

You heard the door code and it spook you, because only you, Namjoon, the cleaning lady and maybe Jin had it, walking down the hallway to the door you were kind of scared, you knew it wasn't a thread because the security wouldn't let anybody come in, and the moment that the door opened you heart sank in surprised and happiness, there he was dressed in his military gear, carrying a small bag with his left hand, looking at you with those fiery eyes, you could not keep it to yourself so you left the scream out.

“Omg, omg omg! Nam!” you screamed while running close to him, he caught you up dropping his bag to the floor and lifting you closer, making it seem like there wasn't a height difference, and there it was that wood, forest scent that gave you peace, the scent of the man that had ingrained himself in your heart, it made you feel at home, you started kissing his whole face, while loading him with a million questions on the why and the how.

He let out a small laugh, walking with you on top to the entrance. 

“They gave us three rest days'' he said, kissing you back, you feel his warm soft lips on top of yours, redirecting the kiss, your body touching the wall, while he slowly lets you on the floor wrapping his big hands around your waist.

“I missed you so much Y/N, in a desperate type of way” kiss “You look so beautiful, I'm so happy to see you” he whispered in your ear, kiss “How have my baby been?” he asked in that low musky voice that drove you crazy, you wrapped your hands around his neck, asking him to lift you to his face, and he did, as always.

“I have been missing you since day one, sleeping on your side of the bed, even though it doesn't smell like you anymore” you replied kissing him back with the same amount of passion and intensity “how are you babe?” 

“Right now, I am marvelous, in front of heaven's doors you could say” he looked at you with those intense eyes, and that happy puppy face, letting you on the floor, moving to the bench at the entrance to remove the big black military boots that made him look even taller. 

“I genuinely cannot believe that you're here, in front of me” you said sitting next to him.

“I am baby, here in front of you” he replied, kissing your forehead. “ and if it were for me I'll never leave” 

========

And there you were lying down, cuddling on the sofa, watching a random entertainment show that was on, both of you way to happy after making dinner together. You were trying to get even closer to him, even when your whole body was already on top of him, and he had you wrapped in his arms, it was never enough. 

“Are you cold?” he asked, pulling you closer. You moved your body resting your face in his chest “No, I just want to be closer” you replied hugging him, he laughed, you feel the vibration of his body in yours. “It's never enough for you, is it?” he sat down carrying you up.

“You know it is not” you said sitting on top of him kissing his neck. He put his hands on your thighs, you know how much he loves them, you're sure that they are now bigger since you've put on some weight due to stress eating this few months, between being ‘jobless’ and without him, cooking had become your comfort zone; you feel the way he's grabbing you, more aggressively by the minute, you like it, like you always do.

He enjoys your body until you let a small moan slip next to his ears, you feel how his whole body tense up, Namjoon moves his mouth to your neck whispering “ You liked that?” in a deep voice, he was turned on, and you were too.

“Y-yes” you replied in a moan while he slid his hands through the short pajama pants that you should have not been wearing during winter.

His hands started to wander around your waist, pulling the white cardigan out of you, letting wet kisses all around your neck, one of his hands left you waist, grabbing one of your breast he started stroking it, making you let out another moan, he knew where all your bottoms where and he started pressing them on, you'll be lying if you don't admit how horny you have been this months without him, you wanted it so bad, so desperately, you need it. He stopped stroking your breast over the blouse that you had, to rip it from your body.

“I want to fuck you so hard  Y/N, you’ve been waiting for me so patiently, I know, I’ll reward you, you little slut! ” He said passing his hand through your chest, he let a wet kiss on your neck and moved his mouth to your left breast placing his tongue on your nipple playing with it.

You let a moan out and heard a chuckle coming from his mouth, and then he started sucking on you tit while keeping one of his hands on your neck, there he was, he loved taking control of you, you could feel how his hand was holding you tightly, reminding you who you were from. He loved to know that he owns you, and that you gladly agree. 

He freed your neck and started playing with your other tit, your head falling into his neck moaning his name, his thick long cock rising up in his joggers you could feel it brushing in your leg, it was making you lose your mind, Namjoon loved when you please him, and you loved to please him, your hand reached to the border of his pants, touching his hard erection through the fabric, he moaned.

“This is how happy I am to see you” he said standing up with you on top, his voice was deep and his eyes were filled with desire, he sat you down on the edge of the couch removing your shorts and panties together.

 “I love how wet you are, tell me how much you want it” he said taking a step back to look at you, dripping wet, shining with sweat “I want to always see you like this, desperately waiting for me to eat you up, tell me Y/N, do you want it? call for it”

“Y-yes, Nam I want it!” you beg through desperate breaths, trying to catch your breath, to breathe at a normal pace. 

“Wrong Y/N” he said loud and demanding “What's my name?” he walked up to you, taking both your hands, kneeling you down in front of the couch, resting you face in it, he put his big hand in the center of your back bending you down even more “I’m going to finger you until you remember what's my name, you whore!” 

He slapped your cheek making you moan, his hands were moving around your whole body, like if he was tasting you, his right hand moved just to the top of you venus mount, opening you up with his long fingers, Namjoon started to play with your clitoris, making you moan and beg for his dick, but he wasn't going to give it to you, until you give him what he wanted.

“Daddy please!” you moaned, exactly what he wanted to hear.

“That's my baby, tell daddy what you want, and he’ll give it to you” he said in your ears, kissing your neck, his kisses moving down to your back, while he put a finger inside of you. “Is this what you want baby, talk to me” he said putting another finger inside.

“I want-t you inside, inside of me daddy”

“Who am I to deny your wishes” he said in a chuckle “ Stand up for me baby” he demanded so you did, his clothes were already on the floor, and when you stood up, you could see his dick in full bloom, he sat down on the couch making you sat on top of him, your back in his chest, you could feel how the military training had pay its fruits, he took your breasts in his hands, caressing your nipples “Look down honey, look how wet your pussy is, begging to be fucked”

All you could see was his dick touching you. You grabbed it with both hands pumping it up, seeing his shiny tip, desperate for it to be inside of you, the action well received with his moans and hard breathes.

 “Damn baby, you never hesitate, c’mon put it inside of you! ” he teased.

You lifted up your body, him helping you with his hands now on your thighs, you used you hands to drive his long shiny cock to your entrance, feeling the tip inside of you, driving it slower, but of course Namjoon would not let you have that, he moved his hands making you whole body fall in his cock, it opening you up, the stretch hitting you up just where you need it, driving you crazy the way that you could feel it completely filling you up. He stayed there for a second waiting on you, making sure that you were ok.

“M-move, please move!” you beg in a whisper, he gave it to you.

Namjoon hugged your body, lifting you while moving himself up and down, you heard him moaning and panting, and that made you even more aroused, he was stretching you up, giving you what you wanted, his dick.

3 months without seeing him and getting his touch, how much you missed him

made you feel insane, but now he was here showing you that he was going insane too without your body close to him, it was joyful having you on top of him.

Namjoon started to touch your clit with two of his fingers, you were so wet for him, and he was enjoying it to the fullest, he could feel how close you were, he wasn't going to last longer either.

And suddenly he pulls out, making you moan in disbelief

“why?!” you screamed

“ I want to see your face when you come for me” 

He turned you around, like a rag doll, you forgot how strong Namjoon was, especially when he wanted you in a specific place.

“C’mon sit on it” he said grabbing his dick, you did not hesitate, and sat on it immediately

“D-daddy!” 

He kissed you, deeply,his tongue exploring your mouth, he grabbed your ass with both of his hands making the pace even more aggressive, you were about to cum, you felt it, breaking the kiss, feeling the lack of air and the heat in the room. Your moans louder by the second.

“Come for daddy baby, come” he whispered in your ears with his deep voice, and that was it his sucked your nipple while you came making you a mess of moans and deep breaths, orgasm hitted you high, and you could feel him still using your body to get to his own climax.

“I'm coming inside baby” his voice even deeper, and you wanted it.

“Yes daddy, cum inside of me” you moaned for him.

His thick load filling you up, the warmth of his cum heating you up from inside, his moans drive you crazy making you cum again with him, a mix of moans and hard breaths, inhale, exhale, fill the room, you fell on top of him trying to catch your breath. 

“That was intense, I am out of words” you whispered hugging him

“Indeed” he said, caressing your lower back. “ I love you Y/N” 

He stand up with on top, wearing a shocked expression on your face it was the first time he ever said it, it caught you by surprise, Namjoon trust issues were as clear as the day, so he never fully open up about his feelings, and you let him, you understood that it would take time, for him to be completely open to you, it was ok you were there for him and that was the best way to prove him that he could trust you with his feelings, him saying I love you market a new path in you relationship. 

Before you could realize it, you were already in the bathroom Namjoon, pulling out of you letting you slowly on the floor. The mess between your legs demanded to be cleaned, he kissed your shoulder and said “ Want to take a bath?” you nod, still in disbelief of what has happened. 

Namjoon prepared the bath for the both of you, using the bath salts that you loved, you were still there standing up in front of the mirror, seeing him move through it, making sure the water was warm enough lighting up the candles, he got close to you hugging you from the back “Lets rinse up first, ok?” you felt the doubt in his voice, the nervousness in his system, you could only nod. He moved you to the shower, tying up your hair in a bun, he knew wetting your hair at this time meant a test, you feel the water going in your skin, the warmth felt good.

“Ok, you're clean baby, come” he said, driving you out of the water to the bath.

You could see the stars through the windows of the bathroom, there you were resting on his chest, hearing his calm breath, feeling his hands on your ways, the bubbles covering your bodies,the burning smell of the candles, and the warmth embracing both of you.

“Nam” you said in a whisper.

“Yes babe” he said, taking your hand.

“I love you too” 

You heard him exhale deeply, meaning relief, “I was scared, though I said it too soon” he said, moving your body so you could face him.

“I wasn't expecting it so I got surprised, sorry”

“Nothing to be sorry for babe” he said, giving you a kiss, it was sweet and soft, he was telling you how much he loved you. You broke the kiss.

“Can you say it again? I want to hear it more” you said smiling, your body could not keep the amount of happiness going through your body.

“I love you Y/N” he whispered, grabbing your waist and pulling you closer for a kiss, and there you knew he was going to make love to you again, because it was never enough with you two. 

 ===============================================

with love kive <3

[matan4il]

Daily update post:

On Friday, there was yet another Palestinian terrorist attack. Terrorists started shooting at Israelis near a yeshiva, and as security forces gave chase, an explosive device was set off through remote control, which shows just how sophisticated some of these terrorists are getting. Seven Israeli soldiers were injured. The explosives were homemade, and I heard one estimate that if they had been "proper," the number of casualties would have been much higher.

Friday was also International Women's Day, when we asked people to remember Israeli and Jewish women, including the ones still being abused by terrorists in captivity. Here's a small round up of a few related global events... In South Africa, Jewish women marched, asking their president and government to condemn Hamas' sexual violence, protesting against the extra burden of proof demanded of Jewish women. Similar protests were held in other places around the world, among them in front of the UN headquarters in NYC. Following an Israeli request, the US, the UK and France have asked the UN's security council to have an emergency session on the UN report regarding Hamas' sexual crimes, Israel's Foreign Minister and the families of the hostages are meant to attend. But maybe the most poignant news come from the Norwegian capital of Oslo, where protesters holding up signs in support of the Israeli women held hostage by Hamas were barred from participating in the International Women's Day March by its organizers, after other participants of the march were physically stopping the group supporting the kidnapped Israeli women.

Biden's recent MSNBC interview, where he's said that "there has to be another way to deal with the trauma caused by Hamas," has managed to piss off even left wing journalists here. I'm gonna pass along what one said... Biden doesn't get it. We're not fighting in Gaza to deal with trauma, this is not the equivalent of going to therapy. We're facing a terrorist organization that massacred us, rules an entire strip of land, and has turned it into the world's biggest base for terrorist activity, turned its 2.1 million people population into a human weapon, and if there is another way to make sure Israeli civilians are safe by destroying Hamas, with less casualties on the other side, let him present it in practical matters. So far, all he does is to give the vague, abstract, "Israel needs to do better," which is not a practical plan of action, and it's especially condescending, when we don't actually have historical examples of any country doing better during fights conducted under the conditions created by Hamas in Gaza.

I have written about the incident in northern Gaza, where over 100 people were killed in a stampede, as they were storming humanitarian aid trucks. It was a complex situation, in addition to those who died from the pushing and trampling (something we've seen in lots of tragic disasters around the world, which were by no means a massacre, such as a fairly well known stampede of Liverpool soccer fans), apparently some of those who died, were ran over when the (Arab) truck drivers were scared and tried to drive away from the mob, while a small number of suspicious people advanced menancingly on the soldiers. An IDF investigation report confirms the Israeli soldiers only fired at this smaller group, suspected of being terrorists, not at anyone else, and certainly not at the aid convoy itself. Of course none of this complexity was reflected in any anti-Israel propaganda posts, which labeled this a massacre. But now the size of the stampede has been confirmed as well, which in itself says a lot about this tragic chain of events: no less than 12,000 (!) Gazans were storming those aid trucks. Given the size of that crowd, it's almost a miracle that not more people were killed. Just compare the Liverpool fans stampede, where the size of the involved crowd was smaller, the situation less complex (no moving trucks or terrorists around), and the number of fatalities was practically the same, at 97 people killed.

This has got to be one of the worst things I've heard since Oct 7 brought new focus to the antisemitism problem on American college campuses. One of the morally clearest voices against this Jew hate has been a Jewish Israeli professor at Columbia University, Shai Davidai. Now apparently the uni has started an investigation into him, instead of... IDK, learning from the criticism he has raised regarding their failure to address antisemitism. They sure are doing a great job, showing Jews they're listened to and cared about, and protecting Davidai's freedom of speech, that last line of defense that all the college presidents fell back on when they had to address why calling for the genocide of Jews is not considered bullying or harassment on their campuses.

This is 100 years old Yocheved Gold (on the left, obviously).

Yocheved was born in 1923 in Germany. In 1936, as a Jewish teenager who was mistaken for a Christian girl, and despite her fear, she refused to hand a bouquet of flowers to Hitler at the Berlin Olympics. Two years later, at the age of 15, she was among the last Jews to flee Europe before WWII. She managed to make it to the Land of Israel, which saved her life. On Oct 7, she was in kibbutz Sa'ad, one of the southern Israeli communities attacked by Hamas terrorists. Eighty years after antisemites first forced her to flee her home, she had to do it again, and is maybe the only Israeli evacuee to be over 100 years old. Now she has returned to kibbutz Sa'ad, even though most still haven't (as they don't feel safe from Hamas), because she said she doesn't want to die away from home.

(for all of my updates and ask replies regarding Israel, click here)

[lokideservesahug]

Obsessed In Love II

-°•°•°•°•--•°•°•°•°--°•°•°•°•--•°•°•°•°-

Pairing: Yandere! Checo Pérez x gn!reader

Warnings: Dark themes, yandere, hints to drugging, kidnapping, suggestive, badly translated Spanish (sorry)

Notes: You asked for a part 2 so I had to deliver... And just imagine both Checo and the reader live in the smse country as the race because that's one if the only ways that the start will make sense. Also I'm working on a Mark Webber request so hopefully that will be out at some point!

Summary: What happens when you wake up in a random bed with no recollection of the day before. You just accept it because nothing weird could have happened...right?

Part 1

-°•°•°•°•--•°•°•°•°--°•°•°•°•--•°•°•°•°-

You wake up with a huge headache and in an unfamiliar place. Well not wholly unfamiliar, the top of the bedpost looked slightly familiar. You give it some thought and realise that Checo has a similar bed if not the same one. Not that you keep track of Checo's bed or anything... You had seen Checo's bedroom in the occasional Red Bull mandated video call here and there but that was about it. Despite your close relationship on track, that was it. A truly professional work relationship that unfortunately didn't extend to many outside of work hours or walls (as much as Checo had tried to invite the whole team out just to see you there). You feel very grogy waking up and can't remember much of the end of the previous day. After you finished filming the video, your memory becomes cloudy.

You groan and stop yourself from trying to remember too much of yesterday else it will give you a headache. You go to get out of bed, still not fully processing the fact that you werent in your own room only to find you were caged in by something heavy lying around your waist. Your eyes widen. Oh no... you weren't alone. You curse at your foolishness of not realising that if course you'd be with someone else if you were in a foreign room. You lift the person's arm up (damn they had nice muscles) and turn on yoir side to see if you recognised the person beside you. The last thing you'd have ever expected dthough was to see your boss. Sergio Pérez. "Oh sh-" He groans slightly at your disturbance of the peace and sleeping adjusts himself so he's lying with one leg draped over you, face buried in the side of your chest.

At his sudden change in scenery, he begins to wake up. You wait with baited breath to see his reaction and as his sleep drowsed eyes meet yours, you swear you see a small smile flash across his lips before he sports a similar shocked face to your current one. He rubs his eyes and sits up and as he repositions, you note that his leg is still touching yours. He smirks and begins to speak in an odd attractive, rapsy morning voice (gosh you shouldn't be having these thoughts) "Not that I don't want you in my bed but what are you doing here querida?" You shake your head and shrug.

"I-I don't know..." You try and cast your mind back to last night when your predicament finally settles. You. Your boss. Alone. In his bed. You gasp. "You don't think we...?" His eyebrows raise at your suggestion. You avoid his eyes and feel the flitter of your heartbeat at the thought. You ahd always had a thing for him (not that you'd even admit it to yourself). He shakes his head. "I hope not." You feel yourself frown and physically deflate at his words. You can't help it. "Wait no, querida I don't mean it like that..." You turn and face him and raise an eyebrow in curiosity. "It's just- well. Never mind." He looks down almost embarrassed and you scoot closer to him. "Go ahead. I won't judge." He meets your eyes again and smiles softly. "Please forgive me if I'm being to forward but I just feel like a moment like that would be magical and I just wouldn't want to forget that."

You're left speechless at his words and feel your cheeks warm. You identity your mouth to say something but he cuts across you. "You don't need to say anything I just wanted to get that off my chest." You nod and smile at him. "Now what kind of a host would I be if I didn't make breakfast for you?" You laugh softly at his words and tilt your head in amusement. "His smile widens at your clear enjoyment if his words and so he continues. "You stay here Querida and I'll go and make some breakfast for us." He leaves the room, closing the door with a gentle click. You stretch out and enjoy the feeling if his soft bedding (that smells exactly like his cologne that you've notices often in your time working for him) whilst you look around at his room, taking in all of the new sights.

☆-☆-☆-☆-☆

Checo made a wonderful breakfast and after he beconed you to the dining room, you lost track of time just talking. So much so that when you look at the time, you realise that you need to arrive at red bull hospitality in less than an hour. "Shit." You curse your luck as you look down at your clothes still from yesterday. Checo raises his eyebrows at your profanity and you explain to him. "I need to go and get changed for FP1 and I think my house is too far away!" You scramble out of the chair and through the doorframe you went through as you came downstairs.

You don't when clock Checo's distant calls until hes right behind you as you bend down to put your shoes on. "Cariño, there's no use. You won't make it on time." You hang your head in shame and finally accept what you refused to moments ago. "However, I do have some clothes lying around that I'm sure would fit you and you could wear to work!" You meet his eyes and cast him a grateful look.

☆-☆-☆-☆-☆

Checo end up giving you an entire set of new clothes after you shower and wash your body (as per his instructions). In your still stresses haze, you don't question why he has clothes lying around his house that really do fit you well. You're impressed that he gives you an entire outfit. Well bar a shirt but he says that you'd be fine just to wear one of his red bull shirts. You put on the Red Bull shirt (unsurprisingly his own metch with a little SP11 over the right breast) and you try and style the slightly baggy shirt. When you exit his bedroom where he let you change, you fail to notice the hungry pair of eyes or the ravenous,possessive gaze that comes with them.

☆-☆-☆-☆-☆

Checo was kind enough to drive you and when you eventually reach the doors of Red Bull hospitality, you're on time to the minute. You ignore the suspicious glances that everyone is casting the both of you for arriving together and you head to your office to get the schedule for today.

You walk back out to the foyer and are greeted by Max. You smile and wave at him, exchanging a few pleasantries as your eyes scan the room and doorways for Checo. You find him in the adjacent room and as Max's on assistant comes to tech him, you walk over to Checo. He's hunched over his phone with a prominent scowl on his face. "Are you ready to go to your driver's room?" You ask the Mawxican. He perks up at your words and nods as he walks off to get changed.

☆-☆-☆-☆-☆

FP1 goes by eith next to no issues. There is a good variety of cars performing well at the track and unsurprisingly, both the red bulls have good pace. You sit down. You've been feeling a bit dizzy all throughout the day and can't help but have a small inkling in the back of your mind that this isn't the first time this has happened today. By the time both Free Practise sessions and all team meetings have ended, you go to see Checo in his driver's room. You knock gently on the door and wait.

The door opens with a soft click. "Hello querida. Come in." He gestures you inside and you take a seat at one end of the sofa. You continue to talk. You find yourself caught up in a large rant with Checo not responding to anything. You turn to look at him only to notice his eyes firmly set on you. "What? Is something wrong?" He just shakes his head and you watch as his eyes give you a quick glance up and down. Suddenly, you become hyperaware of your close proximity and before you can give it any more thoughts, your lips meet with his.

You whine softly at the contact and thread you hand into his hair. He puts a hand gently on your waist as you pull apart for air. You look into us eyes and can't help but blush at what just happened despite where you found yourself this morning. He places his hand gently under your jaw and tilts your head back up. You meet his dilated pupils and he jumps straight back in to a much more passionate kiss this time filled with more tongue. The two if you fight for dominance with your mouths but in the end it is him that wins and the two of you continue to kiss until you feel a slight thrombin in your head. You pull back and smile at the man. "Sorry. I've just been having the worst headache all day." He nods sympathetically. "I get it cariño. You You rest for a bit and I'll wake you once I've finished the right up for today and we can go home. You forget about your surroundings as you lean your head tentatively against his shoulder. You see him pick up his laptop on the side table and continue to type. As you drift out of consciousness you swear you can hear a low mumble of what appears to be "Eres toda mía ahora, ¿no?" Followed by a small kiss to the forehead.

You're all mine now, aren't you?

☆-☆-☆-☆-☆

You stir softly later in the evening when the moon is still high in the sky and the light of the stars shiens through the small crack in the curtains. A part in the back of your mind begins to worry as you're not in your own bed once again but you're

put at ease when you hear the distant voice of Checo in the distance. You Don even try and pay attention to his conversation, clearly in Spanish, and waltz right back into the open arms of slumber waiting to be woken again hopefully with your newfound lover by your side.

☆-☆-☆-☆-☆

Checo whispers in loud, harsh Spanish to the person on the other end of the phone.

"No, no me importan las consecuencias... Sí, lo entiendo... Pero ahora son míos, eso es lo único que importa... No, no escaparán, estoy seguro de que puedo mantenerlos aquí para siempre. .. Oh, encontraré una manera. No te preocupes."

No I don't care about the consequences... Yes I get that... But they're mine now that's all that matters... No they won't escape, I'm sure I can keep them here forever... Oh I'll find a way. Don't you worry.

-°•°•°•°•--•°•°•°•°--°•°•°•°•--•°•°•°•°-

Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoyed it!

As always, likes, reblogs and especially feedback is always welcome.

Taglist (irdk if this is anyone's thing so sorry if it's not). @nikfigueiredo @mysoulispainted @leclercings @d3kstar @hiireadstuff @a-beaverhausen @nichmeddar @lozzamez3 @stinkyjax @marymustdie @littlesatanicassholebitch @mehrmonga @insanedeathwish @ems-alexandra @a-disturbing-self-reflection @cherry-piee @minkyungseokie @checoverstappen @pasteljesse @deliciousfestsalad

[phantasmiac]

civilian touya who has an awkward relationship with his family. puts the civil in civilian. he got all his angst and rage out of his system during his teenage years, and enji’s been on a self improvement journey for some time now. things should be good now — but he only visits home once every two months (sometimes even less often) and no phone call with him ever lasts any longer than five minutes (unless you’re natsuo. then you get an extra five). and no matter how hard fuyumi or rei attempt to pry on the occasions he does join them at the dinner table, whatever he’s been up to recently is still a mystery for the most part by the time he leaves. touya loves his family, because loving unconditionally is just in his nature. but he spent so much time being angry and pushing them away during his teenage years that he doesn’t really know them anymore — and he can’t bring himself to trust people he doesn’t know.

civilian touya who randomly brings home his hot tattooed gf one day. rei’s eyes are sparkling as she laughs and chats with you, hand resting over your own in that warm motherly way. and the whole time enji’s sat like a fucking statue with an unreadable expression on his face that makes him look constipated. he’s trying so hard not to say oh brother 🙄 so this is what touya’s gotten himself into. he hasn’t gotten to the chapter about conservatism in his self help book. he doesn’t say anything because everyone seems to really like you and touya’s been watching you and his mom talk with a fondness that’s lowkey causing cracks in his stone cold heart. but secretly, he’s betting that this relationship isn’t gonna make it touya’s next visit.

civilian touya who brings you over again…. and again…. and again. enji’s so bewildered and stressed at the fact that he was wrong it’s comical. and he has yet to voice his concerns to anyone else bc he doesn’t want to look like an asshole so he just has this ongoing bet with the voice inside his head that you and touya are going to break up any minute now. everyone else has joined touya in being infatuated with you because you’re great — but also because touya’s now started to visit more often and there’s a constant grin on his face that they haven’t seen since he was a little boy. and enji swears he won’t fall for your little tricks! he’s absolutely livid when a chuckle escapes him at a juvenile joke you made. scandalized by the fact that he’s a little curious about the meaning behind one of your tattoos — you’re not gonna get him to ask 😡

civilian touya who announces that you’re five weeks pregnant a year and a half into your relationship. rei cries. because she’s going to be a grandma, of course, but also because he actually chose to share the news with them instead of suddenly disappearing to some foreign country to raise a family in secret — something she’s convinced the touya before you would have done just to avoid being open with them. and enji, thinks this might just be his aha! moment. having a baby this soon, out of wedlock? bound to fall apart. for once, he hopes he’s wrong.

civilian touya who has one hand stabilizing the smiley, toothless baby girl sitting on his lap and the other holding your left, thumb rubbing the aquamarine gemstone on your ring finger. enji watches his firstborn dote on his own and silently reminisces the first few months of touya’s life. he remembers being full of love for someone for the first time in his entire life, and being terrified; it was all more than he knew what to do with. touya seems to know exactly what to do with it all when he coos at his two girls. love was never a challenge for him — just finding somewhere to place it.

★ a/n: i wrote this with the panel from 388 in mind and that’s the ONLY reason shouto isn’t mentioned. ily bby it’s not what it looks like

[shimamitsu]

let's learn about spanish with haikyuu!

if you’re an argentinian animanga fan, you might have seen this image before. this is a panel from ivrea’s edition of haikyuu which has gone viral a few times in our country. if you’re not a native spanish speaker and you’re interested in knowing what makes this panel so special, i got you!

as you know, spanish has many different dialects and their own regional variations. and when i say many, i mean it. here’s a list of dialects you can find in the americas only (and that’s not even all of them). of course, spanish speakers from different countries can understand each other, but these dialects vary so much from one another when it comes to slang, pronunciation, accent and even grammar that we can easily get lost when we hear fellow hispanics speak. back in the 20th century, this was a problem for foreign companies that wanted to enter the hispanic market. making dozens of different translations that catered to each hispanic country was too expensive, so they came up with a more profitable solution: they created español neutro (neutral spanish), español internacional (international spanish) or standard spanish. this type of spanish is an artificial variation of spanish used exclusively for commercial purposes. it's limited to latin american only, while peninsular spanish speakers (the standard spanish dialect spoken in spain) have their own standardized version.

español neutro is supposed to be a variation of spanish that speakers can’t associate to any specific place or region. that’s why it omits any type of slang, colloquial language or intonation that might be confusing for its audience (though it’s modeled after standardized mexican spanish). that’s the spanish we’ve seen in many books, tv shows, movies and games growing up. people don’t actually speak español neutro. but it's been around for a long time, so we're used to it by now. obviously, we can recognize why this type of spanish feels unfamiliar to us. imitating how characters speak in tv shows is even an on-going joke here. 

(disclaimer before i go on: i don’t want you to think our dubs are bad because of this, they’re great. though i’d say our most beloved dubs are the ones where voice actors have more freedom and they choose to include slang and intonation. the dub for adventure time’s jake the dog is an all time favorite here in latin america, but after five years of giving life to to jake, cartoon network told his voice actor to stop using “mexicanisms” and stick to the script.)

as i said, we’re used to it. maybe too much. people are so accustomed to it that they find it weird when they read or watch localized media in their own dialects of spanish. that's where manga comes in. the two biggest argentinian manga publishers, ivrea and panini, localize their works. they’re translated to español rioplatense or rioplatense spanish, which is the standard dialect of argentina and uruguay. that’s a rare translation choice. and, of course, people complain about it. they say it's vulgar or too informal, that it's not "pure spanish" like español neutro or that it just makes them uncomfortable, and even more.

[translation of the post: Why does IVREA use so many localisms? It ruins the immersion and they seem excessively forced, you can use "girl" instead and it sounds much more natural.]

i can assure you that denji saying power es buena mina is extremely natural. it's slang, we say that all the time in everyday conversation. es buen pibe (he's a good guy) and es buena mina (she's a good girl) are common expressions. besides, denji's not the type of guy who speaks formally. this choice goes well with the tone of the work. the only difference between chica and mina is that the latter comes from lunfardo, which was the jargon of the lower classes in buenos aires in the late 19th/early 20th century. lunfardo was influenced by european, african and indigenous languages, integrating words and phrases from all of them. over time, it became part of our own vernacular, and many of its words and phrases are used now in everyday language, regardless of class. if you ever heard argentinian words like laburar, chamuyar, pibe, boludo, facha, etc., those are lunfardo.

so, let’s get back to manga. personally, i love these translations, and a lot of other people enjoy them as well. what some consider unfamiliar or weird, others consider refreshing and fun. the panel i used to introduce this post is a great example of rioplatense localization in manga. in this scene, hinata and kageyama ask tsukishima to help them study and he refuses. in the original japanese, hinata calls tsukishima kechishima (kechi: stingy + [tsuki]shima). the official english translates it to "stupishima" (though i should add that "stingyshima" is the more popular nickname, popularized by the official anime eng sub).

ivrea’s translation does the same pun here, but instead of using spanish equivalents like tacaño, mezquino, egoísta (or even more colloquial language like agarrado o amarrete), it chooses the word ortiva/ortiba. 

ortiba is also lunfardo. this word is the result of reversing the order of the syllables in batidor (whisk). this word formation mechanism is called vesre (revés: reverse). it’s similar to back slang in english. this is extremely common in argentina. some popular examples of vesre are garpar (pagar: to pay), jermu (mujer: woman), garcar (cagar: to cheat, to swindle). here’s an example of vesre in dorohedoro:

sopermi = permiso (excuse me)

the term ortiba was originally used to refer to informers that worked for the police, snitches. nowadays, that meaning mostly fell into disuse. it’s more common to use ortiba for people who usually refuse to take part in certain activities or plans (which has some similarity to its original meaning, someone that betrays their peers). you can also be called ortiba if you’re someone grumpy or someone who doesn’t let other people enjoy themselves. there’s not really an agreement on the spelling, people use both ortiba and ortiva interchangeably. it can also be used as a verb (no te ortives). i think buzzkill, spoilsport, killjoy or party pooper are english nouns that are similar in meaning. let’s give an example:

rioplatense spanish:

a: ¿te pinta salir hoy?

b: no, ni ahí.

a: fua, qué ortiba.

english:

a: feel like going out today?

b: no, no way.

b: wow, what a buzzkill.

so, you probably get the gist of that haikyuu panel now. hinata is calling tsukishima un ortiva because he doesn’t want to help them with their studies, and suggests they should call him ortishima. i fear this will only be funny to you if you’re argentinian, but at least you learned something new about spanish today! yippee!

[morgana-larkin]

Either a Melissa or Chessy prompt. How about r experience the spring for the first time? She's foreign and in her home country there's only two season so she doesn't have the experience of fall, winter, spring. Then when it's like spring season, the redhead learned about it and took r in sort of a special place where she can see the newly flourishing plants, leaves and flowers.

Surprise! I did both of them because I’m extra like that 😊. I thought this prompt was really cute and both of them would take a different approach. So here’s 3000 words of just fluff. Not edited in the slightest and I hope you like it!

On another note: I got 2 other Chessy fics that are out. I’m taking a small break from Worth It to focus on the other 9 prompts that I have. I’m still taking prompts as well for both Melissa and Chessy. I also wanted to ask how do you make a masterlist with all the links and everything? I tried googling it but it basically was like 🤷🏻‍♀️… 😒. Any help would be appreciated.

Spring is When Love Blooms

Warnings: tooth rotting fluff.

Words: 3k

Melissa

You walk into the halls of Abbott, and go straight to the break room and sit down at an empty table. It’s spring time outside but the weather is still very cold to you. You’re from the French Riviera where they pretty much only have summer there, weather wise.

“Not used to the cold yet y/n?” A voice said behind you and you turned around and Melissa is standing right behind you.

“No, at least it’s not as cold as it was though.” Melissa rubs her hands up and down your hands to create heat for you to warm you up. “Thanks.” You tell her and she nods as you shrug your jacket off.

“Why are you sitting here all by yourself? I told you that you could join Barb and I.” She says and you look over to their table and see Barb there. You don’t know why but Melissa has taken an interest in you. You moved here to the states in the summer and was really surprised by the fall. You saw all the leaves change colour and even brought a few inside to look at them and everyone looked at you weirdly at first but then told them you haven’t seen colour changing leaves before.

After saying that, the trio began telling you all about fall and why the leaves change colours. You listen to them all excitedly, learning about new things that you never experienced before.

“I don’t know, just, I usually sit by myself, routine I guess.” You told her and she nods.

“Well come on, come join us.” She says with a smile. And of course you obey, the hold this woman has on you is strong.

When you sit down at their table, Barb immediately talks to you. “So dear, are you ready for the spring? For the weather to warm up and all the flowers to bloom?” She asks you and you look at her confused.

“What do you mean for the flowers to bloom? Where did they go?” You ask innocently and Melissa looks at you.

“They died hun. They don’t survive in the cold so they died and now they come back.” She tells you. “Have you not seen when flowers are new? When they still have to grow a bit more?” She asks you and you shake your head.

A month goes by and you forgot about the conversation you had with Barb and Melissa, but Melissa didn’t. The weather has gotten warmer and flowers are starting to bloom. It’s a Friday morning and you’re excited for the weekend.

“Hey hun.” Melissa says as she sees you enter the break room.

“Hey Melissa.” You tell her. “No Barb yet?” You say as the woman in question isn’t here.

“No she’s running a bit late but she’ll get here on time.” She tells you as you sit down next to her. “So I was thinking of going somewhere this weekend and wanted to know if you wanted to come with me?” She says to you.

“That depends where you’re going.” You tell her.

“Well it’s more of a surprise but I will tell you that it’s a little bit out of town.” She tells you with a smile, and that’s the smile that she knows you can’t say no to.

“Alright I guess, I have no plans this weekend.” You say and her smile grows.

“Perfect, how about I pick you up tomorrow morning at around 8?” She asks and you nod.

Tomorrow arrives and you wake up at 6:30 and excitedly get ready. You have a shower, get changed and eat. You pack yourself some snacks and a lunch cause you have no idea how long you’ll be gone for. You’re putting the last item in your bag when there’s a knock on your door. You cross the room to open it and there stands Melissa on the other side, with leather pants, a green top and her leather jacket. Honestly, how could you not find this woman attractive?

“Hey hun, you ready?” She asks you.

“I forgot to ask if I’ll need my overnight things.” You say and she shakes her head.

“Nope, we’ll be back before the day is over.” She simply says and you nod and grab your bag.

You walk to Melissa’s car and you put your bag in the backseat and hop in the passenger seat. Melissa gets in, buckles up, starts the car, and pulls out of the driveway, and then something suddenly hits you. You’re going to be in the car with this woman for maybe a couple hours, this woman you’ve had a crush on for a few months, this woman who…who looks amazing when the sun hits her, you think as the sun hits her face just now.

You get startled by your thoughts when your phone rings and you see that it’s your mom, she usually calls you on Saturday morning.

“Sorry, it’s my mom, do you mind if I talk to her? It won’t take long.” You ask her.

“No go right ahead hun.” She tells you.

You pick up the phone “Bonjour maman.” (Hi mom.) You tell her. “Oui je suis avec Melissa maintenant.”(yes I’m with Melissa right now.) “Oui, la femme qui est une professeur à Abbott aussi. (Yes, the woman who’s a teacher at Abbott as well.) “Je ne sais pas, elle ne me le dira pas.” (I don’t know she won’t tell me.) “une seconde.” (One second) “my mom wants me to ask you if you plan to murder me.” You ask her and she giggles. “Quoi? Ok.” (What? Ok.) You pull the phone away and put it on speaker. “You’re on speaker maman.”

“Hello Melissa.” Your mom says through the speaker, accent a bit thicker than yours.

“Hi, Mrs. Y/l/n.” Melissa politely greets her.

“Oh no need for that, call me Kara, please.” She tells her.

“Alright, hello Kara.”

“I wanted to know if you plan to murder my daughter.” She asks her.

“No I don’t, I like your daughter too much to do that.” Melissa says genuinely and you look at her.

“She told me that you’re taking her on a surprise trip out of town. Is that correct?”

“Yep that’s right. About a two hour drive.” Melissa tells her.

“What are your intentions with my daughter?”

“Maman, please, why the third degree?” You ask her and Melissa laughs.

“It’s ok y/n. Kara, I respect your daughter and will not do anything to break her or your trust.” She tells your mom.

“Alright, y/n, I expect to hear from you tonight then.” She tells you.

“Of course maman. Au revoir.” (Goodbye)

“Au revoir y/n.” She tells you and then you hang up.

“Sorry about that.” You tell her and she just smiles and shakes her head.

“It’s perfectly alright y/n. I get protective mothers, I’m a teacher, I’ve seen it all.” She tells you.

For the next hour drive, you and Melissa spend it talking about anything, from current life to childhood moments and everything in between.

“So then I punched her in the face and they caught a photo of it.” She finishes telling you about the iconic picture of her punching Kristen Marie in the face.

“Oh wow, that’s quite the story.” You tell her while laughing.

“Ya it is. Hey, do you want to listen to music?” She asks.

“Sure.”

“Well we can have the radio or if you want to use your Spotify then you can plug your phone in.”

“Don’t you have Spotify?” You ask her.

“I do, but I’d rather listen to your playlist.” She says and you smile at her.

“Alright if you insist.” You tell her and plug your phone in and then open Spotify, once you go to your playlist, you hit shuffle then play. To Melissa’s surprise, it’s not a French song but an English one. She knows the song and both of you start singing when the lyrics start.

“If you’re blue and you don't know where to go, why don’t you go where fashion sits. Puttin’ on the Ritz.” You both sing. And for the next hour you both sing songs from your playlist. She eventually pulls up to a field and parks.

“I used to come here a couple times a year.” She tells you and turns the car off. You unbuckle yourself and then open the door once Melissa gets out. Once you step out you see a field full of flowers and trees in the middle of blooming. Trees that are almost full of new green leaves, flowers that are almost fully open or already completely open. And flowers of different colours, sizes and types of flowers all over. The grass is also a beautiful green colour and there’s a few bushes around. Your eyes go wide and you stand there stunned by all the beauty for a moment. “What do you think?” Melissa asks you and it snaps you out of your trance.

“It’s beautiful.” You tell her and you start walking. You walk through the flower field with your hands out to touch some of them as you walk by. Melissa is walking behind you the entire time.

“Here.” She says and you turn around. Melissa bends down and picks a beautiful white flower. She gets back up and puts it in your hair.

“What flower is that?” You ask her.

“It’s a daffodil.” She tells you and smiles.

“Do flowers have meaning here? Cause they do in France.” You ask her and she nods her heard. “Then what does a daffodil mean?”

“It has a few meanings, but the main two are unequalled love and the sun is always shining when I’m with you.” She tells you and you suck in a breath.

Melissa bends down and picks up 3 more flowers, a red one, a pink one and another white one, but a different white flower. She also picks a striped one of the same flower. She stands pack up holding the 4 flowers. “And what flowers are those?”

“They’re carnations.”

“They’re beautiful.” You tell her and feel the petals.”

“Ya they are.” She says and looks a bit nervous. “All the colours have a different meaning.” She starts and then hands you the white one. “A white carnation means innocence or sweet and lovely.” She hands you the pink one “pink means I’ll never forget you.” Hands you the red one “red means admiration or my heart aches for you.” She tells you and her eyes look a little sad. She then hands you the striped one. “And striped means two different things, either I can’t be with you or I wish I could be with you.” She tells you and you stare at her.

“And what does yours mean?” You ask her.

“I wish I could be with you.” She whispers and looks down. You look down at the ground too and see a red rose in between you two. You bend down and pick it, then stand back up.

“Melissa.” You say her name to get her attention and she looks back up. “Here.” You tell her and hand her the red rose. “I hope a red rose means what it does in France. Because then it would mean I love you.” You tell her and she looks at you with wide eyes. “I hope these flowers you gave me is a confession because I do love you. I have for a couple months now.” You tell her and a tear falls down her cheek.

“It is a confession. I do wish to be with you.” She tells you and you cup her cheek and wipe the tear stain away. You lean in and kiss her and she kisses you back. You both stand there kissing in a field of flowers and you pull back and look at her. “I love you too.” She says and you giggle.

“Thank you for helping me experience spring for the first time in the best way.” You tell her and she smiles at you.

“Of course.” She tells you and leans in to kiss you again.

Chessy

You walk up the pathway of the vineyard and knock on the door. A woman answers the door and you stare at her.

“Hi, can I help you?” She says as you just stare at her.

You shake yourself out of the trance. “Oh um hi, I’m y/n and this may sound a bit awkward and weird but I’ve seen you at the store getting groceries and it turns out that I live just down the street from you and wanted to introduce myself.” You tell her and she tilts her head slightly.

“Ya I think I’ve seen you there too, I’m Chessy.” She says and brings a hand out to shake and you immediately shake her hand. “I’m the live in nanny here.” She tells you and you stare at her.

“Wow, a nanny, that’s so cool.” You tell her and she smiles.

“Ya it sounds cool but I got twin devils to look after.” She says and you hear footsteps coming up behind you.

“Hey Chessy, guess what shirt I got at the store.” A little ginger hair girl says and runs up to her but stops when she sees you. “Oh hi, who are you?” She asks.

“I’m y/n, I live down the street.” You tell her.

“Oh hi, I’m Hallie.” She tells you.

“I’m Annie.” The other one says and you realise these are the twins that Chessy is the nanny too.

“Hi y/n, it’s nice to meet you. I’m Nick and this is my wife Elizabeth.” Nick greets you.

“Hi, if you don’t mind me asking where are you from? Is that a French accent?” Elizabeth asks you and you nod.

“Ya, I just moved here and for some reason all the trees are like orange.” You tell her and Chessy snorts and you look at her.

“First time experience fall?” She asks and you nod. “But you’ll love winter then, it gets a bit chilly here.” She says and you just look at her.

A few months go by, along with winter and you and Chessy have met and talked at the grocery store quite often and you’ve even been invited a few times to the house for lunch or dinner.

“You’re gonna love spring.” Chessy tells you when you’re over. “All the trees and flowers that died come back and bloom.” She tells you and you smile.

“Wow, I can’t wait to see that.” You tell her and she smiles back at you.

2 weeks pass and you’re at the house again. After lunch, Chessy says she has a surprise for you. She takes you outside to the stables and gets a horse ready for horseback riding.

“I asked for the afternoon off and they gave it to me immediately.” She tells you and gets on the horse. She then sticks her hand out and you look at her.

“You want me to get on?” You tell her and she nods.

“Have you never been horseback riding before?” She asks and you shake your head. “Well don’t worry, it’s not scary.” She tells you and you take her hand. She pulls you up and you get on in front of her. “Now, hold on here ok.” She tells you and you grab the reins. “If you get scared then just hold on tighter ok?” She says and you mumble out an ‘ok’. “Don’t worry, like I said it’s not that scary and I’ll be here the entire time.” She says and she holds the reins as well. And due to that, her arms are on both sides of you, effectively trapping you, and you don’t mind being trapped by her arms. She makes the horse start going and you tense up. “It’s ok.” She tells you, basically right in your ear and you shiver. She gets the horse to start going faster and it’s starting to run, and then it starts full on running.

“Oh my god, that’s really fast.” You say and close your eyes. You feel a hand wrap around your waist and pull you back a bit.

“It’s ok, I’m right here.” She tells you and you lean into her. She lets go of you to grab the reins with both hands but she has her arms more tight on your sides to hold you better. After a few minutes she slows the horse down and she speaks again. “It’s alright, you’re not going to fall. Try to open your eyes.” She says and you do. You cautiously open them and what you see is beautiful. All the trees are growing new leaves, the bushes are growing their branches back and some flowers are growing.

“Wow, this is beautiful.” You say and she puts her head on your right shoulder.

“This is the path to take if you want to do a scenic route.” She says and you’re still looking around, and still leaning on her. “Fall is when things start to die and spring is when they’re reborn again.” She tells you and you smile.

“Thank you for showing me this.” You tell her and she smiles.

“Of course, best view for your first spring.” She says and you turn your head a bit to look at her. She moves her head off your shoulder and to the side more to see you. Both of you then lean in and kiss. She moves one of her hands to your stomach and deepens the kiss a bit. You open your mouth and her tongue slides in and she tastes you. You both pull away after about a minute and just stare into her beautiful eyes. You both just look at each other and smile until you hear a couple birds tweeting close by and you look at the view in front of you. You still lean into her and she puts her head back on your shoulder while she shows you the best view of spring.

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[vivalas-vega]

new perspectives // part ten // jake 'hangman' seresin x reader

howdy !! I think this is the shortest chapter in this series yet, but kind of a heavy one nonetheless. I'm getting back into the swing of writing and am hoping to bring this series to it's close within the next 3-5 parts! as always, please let me know what you think!

new perspectives // part ten // jake 'hangman' seresin x reader

prologue - one - two - three - four - five - six - seven - eight - nine

add yourself to my taglist

word count: 2.5k

warnings: we are diving into jupiter's deployment so mentions of warzones and guns but nothing too graphic or in depth

The Hard Deck was thrumming just as it always was on a Friday night but lately Jake had lost the desire for after-work hangouts at the bar… darts and pool didn’t feel the same anymore, and he was having a hard time enjoying anything because he knew wherever you were you weren’t having fun. He tried to tell himself that maybe in the quiet moments, when the sky wasn’t falling and people weren’t relying on you to save their life, you and your team were able to unwind. Maybe kick around a soccer ball or play card games to pass the time and provide some sense of normalcy but he knew even if that was the case it didn’t change anything. You were in a warzone, and he was here at the bar. 

But, that didn’t stop him from trying. Your deployment was hard on everyone, not just him, and he knew that if he pulled away it would only make your friends feel it more deeply, he was the only tether to you and he also knew he needed to be here. If he wasn’t he’d be at home staring off into space and making himself sick with worry. It was better for him to be preoccupied, which was why he had taken on more responsibility at Top Gun, and why he was currently engaged in a game of darts with Coyote, trying to distract himself from the fact that he hadn’t heard from you in a month.

You two had discussed this going into it, and he knew communication would be infrequent. You had real life or death problems on your hands day in and day out, in a foreign country in the middle of an active warzone. Just because you didn’t call, or didn’t answer any of his, didn’t mean that something had happened to you, or that you didn’t want to. It just meant you were doing your job, and trying to stay safe in the process… but knowing that didn’t make it any easier of a pill to swallow. 

He also knew there was an order, and it wasn’t his turn. You two were no strangers to infrequent communication and you were adamant that your marriage could handle it. His turn had been first, and then your parents, and the next time you had the opportunity to call home it would be Rooster’s. He wasn’t angry about that, not at all… Rooster had quickly become your closest friend and confidant outside of him and he knew that you missed him just as much as everyone else, that in your darkest moments he would be one of the people you needed to see. He was grateful for it, to know that you had multiple people in your life you loved so deeply, trusted so implicitly… but that didn’t make it fun to know that the next time someone heard from you it would be the goofy guy across the bar laughing loudly with his arm slung around his new girlfriend’s waist and not him, that the next time he got an update on you it would come from him. 

He was endlessly proud of you, for how strong you had been and how devoted you were to your life’s calling. Putting yourself into such imminent danger to help others was just about the most you think he could think of, and he knew you could handle yourself. When you left you were off to a very condensed boot camp where you learned basic survival skills outside of medicine, you received a crash course in all the things you would need to know, and received training if god forbid you ever found yourself in the position of needing to defend yourself. He knew you were well equipped to take care of yourself, but he also knew that you likely had seen things and done things that would leave a lasting mark… but that was all he knew.

That was the hardest part for him… not knowing what you were going through. Even in your spottiest bouts of communication over the course of school and deployments he always knew what was going on with you, and his worst case scenarios he’d concoct when he worried were you stressing yourself into exhaustion. Now, his worst case scenarios were something he couldn’t even dare to verbalize, something if he thought about even a second too long would send him careening towards a ledge. 

“I’m sure she’s fine,” he heard from beside him suddenly, jumping slightly as he turned to see Coyote and he gave him a soft smile. 

“I know,” he replied and Coyote just nodded.

“She’s tough. Like, scary tough, my shoulder still makes a weird creaking sound from when she tackled me during dogfight football,” he said and this made Jake laugh, something that was pretty infrequent now.

“I still can’t believe she took you down like that,” he replied.

“Yeah, that one fights dirty, man… so I’m sure she’s holding her own just fine.” This provided Jake just enough reassurance in the moment that he was able to shift his focus somewhere else entirely, so much so that he didn’t notice the way Rooster pulled out his phone and quickly ran out of the bar.

“J?” he asked, the video on his phone taking its sweet time connecting and he heard his second-favorite laugh on the other end.

“Hey Roo, sorry, the video is super spotty here,” you said just as it fully connected and he finally got to see you for the first time since your wedding night. His first thought was that you looked different, almost unrecognizable if it weren’t for those few characteristics that were so completely you. You were thinner, primarily in your face and he couldn’t ignore the way your eyes lacked their usual warmth, it sent an ache through his chest to see you look so… hollow. 

“How are you? Are you okay? What’s going on over there?” he fired off in rapid succession and this pulled another soft laugh from your lips. You hadn’t realized how much you needed to see that stupid porn stache until it was staring back at you through the screen of a tablet. 

“Don’t worry about me, I don’t have long so tell me everything… what have I missed?” you asked and briefly he wanted to press, try to get you to open up about what you were going through over there but he realized that probably wasn’t what you needed right now. You needed a distraction, reminders of home, and you didn’t have much time to get it.

“Well, Eliza and I made things official a few days ago,” he said and you smiled, a real one that almost fully reached your eyes.

“Oh my god, that’s amazing! I’m so happy for you, Roo. Where did you take her for your first date?”

“Well, our unofficial first date was your wedding, but the real first date was mini golf… where she completely smoked me by the way,” he said and you chuckled. “She’s… incredible, JJ, I’ve never met a woman like her before.”

“Well I’ll be damned, Bradley Bradshaw is serious about someone? I leave for two months and suddenly the world turns upside down.”

“Shut up, I’ll have you know I’ve been serious about people before,” he protested before adding, “but not like this. I think this is it, J.”

“You keep that to yourself for a while longer, don’t spook her too soon,” you teased. “How is he?” you asked suddenly, getting serious and he knew what you meant without further clarification.

“He’s… good,” he replied and you furrowed your brows. “He’s just worried, is all. Just wants to know if you’re okay, we all do.” 

You nodded, “I don’t know if I am, Roo… and you can’t tell that to him, okay? I just… I don’t want him worrying anymore than he already is.”

“I won’t, but… talk to me? What’s going on over there?”

You sighed, “I don’t have enough hands, or supplies, or time… I’m picking and choosing who lives and who dies based on a twenty second evaluation and I just… never know if I’m making the right choices, never know if I’m actually making a damn difference out here.”

“Hey, you are. If I know you like I think I do, I know you are.”

You nodded but it didn’t really do anything to make you feel better. “I know this is our turn, but-”

“I texted him a few minutes ago, he should be out any second,” Rooster cut you off and you just smiled softly. 

“Thank you. I miss you way more than I thought I would, Roo,” you said and he let out a shocked laugh.

“What the hell does that mean?” he asked but he was interrupted by the door to the patio opening.

“Come outside in two minutes, alone? What kind of cryptic bullshit is that, Chicken?” you heard distantly and couldn’t help but laugh, warmth filling your chest at hearing your husband's voice after so long. “Is that- give me that,” he said, snatching the phone from Rooster’s hand and confirming for himself it was really you.

“Hey you,” you said and you thought his face might split open from how wide he was grinning. “Might want to not be so hard on Rooster, seeing as he gave up some of his phone time for you.” 

“God, I miss you, are you okay?” 

You nodded, forcing yourself to smile and Jake saw right through it, saw the way it didn’t fully reach your eyes. “I’m okay.”

“I’ll give you guys space,” Rooster said from beside Jake, “I love you, JJ, stay safe, okay?”

“Love you too, Roo,” you replied and suddenly there was a commotion from outside your tent that made him stop in his tracks as Jake’s eyes widened in concern.

“Jupiter, what’s going on?” he asked, trying to pinpoint the sounds he was hearing. The visual was blocked by you pressing the tablet against your chest as you poked your head outside the tent and the sound became clear as day on their end. Gunfire. 

“I have to go.”

“Jupiter, talk to me,” Jake tried but you’d barely heard it, barely registered.

“I can’t- I’m sorry, I love you,” was all you said before the call disconnected and Jake stood there frozen, staring at a black screen as he tried to process what had just happened. 

“Was that…?” Rooster started, not entirely sure of what to say. He knew whatever he was feeling was magnified in Jake tenfold, but that didn’t make it any easier to push through to try and be there for him. 

“I think so,” Jake said after clearing his throat. Logically he knew you’d face situations like this, it was the biggest thing he was struggling to come to terms with, but actually hearing it was a completely different beast. Right now he was standing here with your best friend on the patio overlooking the ocean at sunset… it was peaceful, yet somewhere halfway across the world you were under fire, undoubtedly under stress as you were probably assessing wounded soldiers and civilians, trying to do your job the best you could. 

Rooster noticed the slight tremble in Jake’s hands, noticed the way he was currently retreating into himself and trying to not spin out and he gently pulled the phone away and put a hand on his shoulder. “Hey man, come on, let’s go sit for a minute,” he said, and Jake followed him almost mindlessly out onto the beach where they both sat down. “I know this might not sound helpful, but she’s been out there two months already, I’m sure this isn’t the first time… she knows how to handle herself.”

Jake let out a humorless laugh, “you’re right, it’s not.” He knew what Rooster’s intentions were behind the sentiment, you’d gone through this before and made it out the other side, and you’d do it again now, but all it served as was a reminder that this was your life right now. He was focused on the fact that you didn’t sound worried at all, you’d said you had to go and that you loved him as simply as you used to when you’d call him in between patients. He was sitting here, mind spinning with the possibilities of what could be happening and you’d sounded as calm as ever. That should have proved reassuring, in some small way, you weren’t fazed… you weren’t scared, but it wasn’t. If anything, it made his chest ache more. 

“She’s gonna be okay, man. It’s Jupiter, she can handle anything,” Rooster said, even though he might not have fully meant it. He saw you, heard the unsure tone as you spoke to him and saw those hollow eyes, you were different. You weren’t the Jupiter you left as, weren’t the Jupiter they knew like the back of their hands… and Rooster knew it would happen, had told you as much sitting right here in this same spot just a few months ago. 

“I don’t know… I should have told her no, told her not to do it, anything to get her to stay put,” Jake sighed and Rooster chuckled.

“We are talking about Jupiter right?” he asked and Jake couldn’t help but laugh too. “She knew what she was signing up for. We talked about it, you know... what she'd see, what she'd do, briefly, but she knew. She never bites off more than she can chew.”

“Yeah, I think this time is different,” Jake said and Rooster nodded.

“Maybe… but she’s got you, and she’s got the rest of us. We’ve all got her, no matter how she is when she comes home.”

“If she comes home,” Jake nearly whispered and this took Rooster aback. It felt like a weight off his back to finally say his biggest fear out loud, but only seconds later that weight came crashing down as he fully realized it was a genuine possibility. It wasn’t some hypothetical worst case scenario he’d concocted, hearing that gunfire proved that, it was simply how things were. If you came home. 

“You can’t think like that right now. Her tour is over in just a few weeks, she’ll pull through.” 

Jake sighed again, “I just need to know that she’s safe.”

“She’ll call when she can. That much I know for certain, I’m sure she didn’t want to leave things like that. She’ll call, or she’ll email just as soon as she’s able.” 

“I think I get it now,” Jake said and Rooster gave him a confused look, “why she likes you so much,” he practically mumbled and Rooster laughed. 

“Come on, man. There’s nothing either of us can do except wait, and she wouldn’t want you spinning out over this. Let’s go back inside,” he said as he stood and dusted the sand from his pants, and Jake followed reluctantly. He was right after all, he couldn’t do anything right now except go back inside, nurse his beer and hope you were okay.

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