#i mention that i like newer rock and metal too

[thisapplepielife]

Bang Dem Sticks

Character(s): Gareth | Word Count: 800 | Rating: T | CW: None | Tags: Drumming, Future Fic, Gareth & Eddie are Best Friends

Takes place in the Tuesday's Gone With the Wind universe but I don't see why it can't be read as a standalone as long as you know Gareth's a drummer.

2023

Gareth sits behind his drum kit in a little studio. It's just him, several cameras, and the handful of guys behind the glass in the control room. He was invited to come do a video for a YouTube drum channel, where the concept was sold to him as a challenge where they'll play a song they think he's never heard, without the drum part. And then he has to blindly play what he thinks the drum part actually is, just to see how close he can get. 

That sounded like a fun stop on the press tour, a change of pace from the same old, same old, so he agreed. At least this involves playing the drums, instead of just talking about the new album, the new tour. Getting asked the same four questions over and over. 

This time some of the interviewers are getting brave enough to gently ask if he’s getting ready to retire. He’s not. Not yet. But that can’t be too far off. He’s almost fifty-five. He’s been on the road, nearly continuously, since he was fresh out of high school. He loves drumming, he does. But he also doesn’t want to die behind his kit on the road. He doesn’t want to die on the road, at all. He worries about that. He wants to retire, and spend the rest of his time with the people he loves most. 

If he’s gonna die behind the kit, it’s gonna be the one in Harrington House, surrounded by the people he loves. Not in a strange city, all alone. 

Not to mention, his right knee is getting to the point of needing some attention. The steroid shots are helping, but they're a short term fix. If he wants to walk into his old age, he’s probably looking at surgery. He hasn’t told Eddie that yet, because Eddie’ll fret about it. So there’s no need to worry him until it can’t be put off any longer.

So today he takes an Aleve, shows up, sits behind his kit, and lets them rig up all the cameras. Overhead, of his face, his hands, his feet. Then he waits.

When they give him the go sign, he sits up a little straighter. They play a song, and he starts playing along. He knows this one from playing with Eddie.

They try another. Eddie. 

And again.

Eddie. 

Eddie. 

Eddie. 

He finally laughs, "You're gonna hafta go newer."

He's sure they have his resume. They are clearly staying away from metal and hard rock. But crossing genres isn't enough for older songs. If it had an interesting drum part, Eddie's probably already dragged it into Hellfire Studios at some point over the years for them to play together. No matter the genre. 

"How do you know all those?" they ask through the headset, clearly a little surprised. They had a handful of songs, and he knew them all. They need to dig deeper.

Gareth just smiles. 

Eddie won't want to be named, not publicly, so Gareth just laughs and says, "I have a friend I jam with sometimes. He has very broad tastes."

They dig up something else, something newer, and it’s finally one Gareth’s never heard before. He gives them a thumbs up, and counts the time signature. It’s in 4. He listens closely. Finds the groove of the bass. Feels it. Thinks about how he’d slide in the pocket, if this was his drum part to build from scratch.

The song ends, and Gareth gives it his best shot. 

When he’s finished, they roll the playback of the full song, original drum part intact, and he realizes he wasn't that far off. He's been a drummer for over fifty years, a professional for decades, and he's just happy his ear still works. That his instinct is intact, even on modern music. Though, this was a throwback of a song if he’s ever heard one. They should have found something truly modern, if they wanted to trip him up. Not a young band that has clearly found inspiration in the 70s, in Zep and Rush. Gareth knows how that goes, lived it, a long, long time ago.

Weeks later, when the video gets posted to the YouTube channel, it sure doesn't take very long for the comments on the video to start naming Eddie as the friend.

That's okay. Eddie's certainly not scouring YouTube for videos of Gareth anyway. And it's not like Gareth was the one that ID'd him. It's no secret they still play together, that they are still best friends. 

And in three days he'll be back home, playing with Eddie again. Where he wants to be. Maybe he’ll bring this new tune home and see if Eddie can figure out the guitar part, just for fun.

The YouTube algorithm served me up this video of Chad Smith yesterday and I was like, oh, Gareth.

And here we are. It didn't really fit in with anything I have left for Wildflowers...and All the Rest, but I was inspired to write it, and thought, hey, it can just be a little standalone.

[jackfromthefairytale]

Erra recommendations or music recommendations in general?

I get to go off about erra!

id say that cure (the most recent album) is a good starting point, it's got ambience, breakdowns, a beautiful vocal balance and a healthy amount of erra-typical riffage and structure-fuck. i honestly couldn't give you individual song recs because they're all so different and all have a highlight. i do know that you'll probably like slow sour bleed seeing as you liked anything > human (and I think you also like nine inch nails?)

next, the 2021 self-titled, which is outright some of the best stuff in modern metal. snowblood is very metalcore, gungrave features the riff of all time, shadow autonomous is a complex, weirdly calming masterpiece, electric twilight is weird, eidolon is separately beautifully tranquil and crushingly heavy, vanish canvas is the prettiest heavy song ever written (and the deluxe includes the reissue featuring courtney laplante on guest vocals!), and i'll also mention remnant, lunar halo, divisionary, scorpion hymn and nigh to silence. and memory fiction which isn't a metal song but is one of the most beautiful pieces of music ever written

they also released two standalone singles - eye of god (2019) and pull from the ghost (2022) which are some of the band's best work and serve as a kind of bridge between albums

of their previous stuff, it's not as polished as their current stuff but is also pretty mind blowing. drift (2016) is melodic and pretty and neon (2018) is a darker, heavier follow on from that. my favourites from those include luminesce, drift, breach, ghost of nothing, safehaven, sleeper, unify, irreversible, skyline, hyperreality, expiate

their first two albums are a bit different, with the band having a mostly different lineup - the screamer and second guitarist left at the end of 2013 - but they've been considered some of the best in metalcore (with too many fans being unable to move on). i'd say pattern interrupt, the architect, heart, and white noise off impulse (2011) and pulse, hybrid earth, ultraviolet and augment/dementia off augment (2013) (i personally consider dementia to be one of the best songs ever written...) (I also don't really listen to their older stuff as much as their newer releases)

for other recs, staying within this vein of progressive metalcore i'd suggest invent animate - they're also very technically minded and are "sad boi metalcore". they're also a band that erra take on tour a lot and jesse co-produced some of their stuff and featured on their song naturehold.

another band are red handed denial. again, they're progressive metalcore but are really good at the pop blend without sacrificing the heavy. lauren babic is one of the best combined sing/scream vocalists in the game and one of my personal inspirations, and their 2024 album "a journey through virtual dystopia" is one of my albums of the year.

and obviously, as this is an erra post, i can't go without recommending jesse's alt rock solo project ghost atlas. dust of the human shape is one of the albums of the year, and other standout tracks include cry wolf, legs, sacred organs, sleep therapy, vertigo, mirror room, and elixir of life

[sidekickjoey]

So, I’m on a modern rockstar!Eddie and fan!Steve AU kick lately.

You know how, for newer bands or bands that are just hitting big fame, lead singers tend to light up or get super emotional whenever they catch fans singing along or really resonating with their music for the first time? 

Imagine Eddie, fresh off of Corroded Coffin’s first hit single. It’s some big roaring rock ballad that’s not entirely like their usual stuff, a little less metal than a lot of their tastes, but just the perfect bridge between the genres to get people interested in them. It suits Eddie’s voice well too, and when he sang it before it got big, everyone in the crowd looked up at him like he was a god. An angel in ripped clothes with a wicked smile and a killer set of pipes. Eddie loved it. He secretly loves hearing that it is the one that’s making it big. 

Steve is not a fan of metal, per se, but he loves a good deep rock song. He likes the way the drums boom in his bones and how the often grit-filled voices of 80s rockstars contrast with the smooth stylings of the electric guitars. When he first hears Corroded Coffin’s newest single, he’s not trying to seek out a new song to add to his list, but he is entranced all the same. The lead singer’s vocals just do something to him. The melody is intoxicating. He puts it on repeat for weeks. Robin hates him and tells him to get a hobby after the third.

Naturally, they end up together at Corroded Coffin’s Chicago show a few weeks later. It’s a bit of a hike from Hawkins, but Steve would not shut up about going, and Robin is clinging desperately to the shred of hope that this may be what finally rids Steve of his ear worm, so they make it work. They stumble through each other’s idiosyncrasies (”Steve, for the thousandth time, your hair is FINE” “Robs, I swear to God if you make me stop this car one more time for a bathroom break, you’re walking the rest of the way”) and end up three rows back from the front. It’s not a bad view. Steve likes how he’s directly in front of the mic. He likes it even more after noticing how often he makes eye contact with the opener, both meaningfully and not. 

Nothing prepares him, however, for when they step off the stage and the lights dim. The stage rumbles. The fans scream. A heavy drum beat begins feeling more like a pounding heartbeat, and as it ascends into a faster tempo, they are greeted with the whine of an electric guitar and the one man they’re all there to see. 

Eddie.

Eddie, with heavy eyeliner smeared down his cheeks, impressively fluffed up hair, and a piercing in his ear that glimmers in the bright stage light. Eddie, who is donning a black vest and nothing more up top and a pair of short ripped shorts and fishnets down below. Eddie, whose large boots are about eye level with Steve’s face and welcome to stomp on him at any time he pleases, thank you very much. 

Steve is frozen the moment he comes into the light. 

He struggles to breathe as Eddie cracks a smile.

Then, Corroded Coffin dives right into their setlist. It’s heavy, like anyone who has listened to more than one song of theirs can tell, but it’s not unpleasant. Robin seems to love the more fast-paced songs and hits it off with a girl beside them dressed not unlike Eddie who seems to like them, too. Steve finds himself listening less to them and more often watching Eddie - the man with enough stage presence to render a crowd under his command. 

It’s exhilarating. And then, it all comes to a head when the first chords of their hit song play.

The world around Steve melts away the second he hears them. Robin mentions something to him about the song, tugging on his sleeve, but it goes unnoticed because this is it. This is the moment Steve drove however long to see. This is the song that’s taken over his entire life for the past month and a half, and Eddie is right there. Eddie’s going to sing it to him. 

Eddie does sing it to him. He sings it right to him.

Steve doesn’t know that it’s because he’s the only one in Eddie’s line of sight that knows all the lyrics. He doesn’t know that it’s because his joy is just radiating off of him like the sun cutting through a chilly winter’s day. He doesn’t know that Eddie was feeling nervous about debuting this song to such a big crowd in such a big city, and Steve’s enthusiasm melted all those nerves away the second recognition crossed his eye. 

He just knows that Eddie’s singing to him, and that it’s everything and more than he could ask for. 

Getting Eddie’s pick tossed to him at the end of the night is a delightful cherry on top, though. Steve clutches it close to his chest as he and Robin leave the venue. He places it on his nightstand once they’re back in Hawkins. 

And, because he’s insatiable and still on the high of the concert (to Robin’s dramatized dismay), he takes a picture of it to post to social media, documenting the night before he goes to bed. 

“Guess I’m a metalhead now. Thanks for the show @CorrodedCoffin x”

Steve watches Robin and a few of his other friends from Hawkins like it before he finally drifts off, ears slightly ringing but mind on Cloud 9. When he wakes, he comes to realize that a whole lot more than just Robin and the gang dropped likes of their own overnight. In fact, a whole lot more people did - including none other than famous lead singer and guitarist of Corroded Coffin himself, Eddie Munson. 

...who also left a comment that everyone and their mother was liking.

“Thanks for the show yourself, pretty boy. Give that pick a good home for me, yeah?”

Steve gawks. Steve laughs. Steve likes it and immediately makes a beeline for Robin’s home, because if he doesn’t talk about this with someone else asap, he may just combust into a pile of goo on the floor.

By the time he gets there, he might as well already be a puddle on the floor, because in the time it took for him to hop in his car and drive the ten minutes to her house, Eddie not only saw the like but hopped in his DMs - not to creep on him or anything, but to be a damn gentleman apologizing for blowing up his phone (”I’m still not used to this whole ‘everyone following me’ thing”) and making sure he got home from the concert okay, because he’s made the trip from Hawkins before to visit family and knows it’s a decent ride.  

It’s everything. It’s all too much. 

It’s every fan’s dream, and Steve cannot believe he’s living it. 

[nokingsonlyfooles]

OK OK, Finish the feed and plug the thing

Been distracted by current events and guilty for lack of productivity, but you're not gonna look at it if I don't keep bothering you!

You clicked this yet?

YOU WILL! Oh-ho, yes. The water shall inevitably wear away the stone! Or you'll slip up while trying to scroll on your phone. I'll take either! Noooo, don't just close it out! It has found families and cool magic-punk shit and politics.... WAIT! COME BACK! I'M SORRY I MENTIONED THE POLITICS!

Known Readers: 3 (hi!), 1st Goalpost: 10

Known supporters: Still not asking but I'm gonna come back with another six pack next week. I'm too impatient to wait indefinitely for my vision and illustrating ability to stabilize.

And you get a sample, under the cut! Let's see, what am I feeling proud of today...?

[How about something from Meet the Roll-A-Dance, my narrative-form cast intro. You can meet most of the main characters this way! And see how they play Steampunk DDR!]

“All right,” Hyacinth said, stepping onto the dance pad. “I’m not going to be good at it, but I know how to do it, so I’m going first. You all have to play,” she informed them, pointing a finger. “Except maybe Mordecai.”

Mordecai snorted and folded his arms across his chest. “What, because I’m old?”

“Because you don’t breathe very well and I’m afraid it might kill you. But yes, also, you are old.”

“You’re not exactly young, Hyacinth.”

“No, but I have regular meat lungs that work better than yours.” 

“And whose fault is that?” he cried.

She tipped up her nose. “Furthermore, I am more than willing to humiliate myself to have a good time — which is not required, but helps.”

There were a few snickers from the group of them, Sanaam and the kids especially.

“Okay!” she said. “Don’t stand on the frame. Stand on the buttons, the left and right buttons. When two arrows come up at once, you have to jump and hit both. You need to hit the arrows when they come up to the line. They follow the music. This looks like a newer machine, so they’ll probably light up and disappear. Songs are here, difficulty is here.” She left it on Normal, her pride would not allow her to dial it back to Easy. She had played these things before, damn it. “I think that’s all, but it’s been a while since I’ve played. If I remember anything else, I’ll say it.”

She selected “Nina, Pretty Ballerina.” A simple tune of five notes played as a metal arm bearing a thick scroll of paper slid into the gaping space at eye-level and spooled from bottom to top. A thin gold wire across the top of the page flickered to light.

Nina, Pretty Ballerina — ABBA was printed at the top of the scroll. The paper began to roll. One of the boxes lit up with a ping. Sing Along! it advised.

“You are forbidden from singing along,” Hyacinth said quickly. She was trying to remember the damn thing after maybe thirty years. She did not require vocal accompaniment, especially a goofy-ass song like “Nina, Pretty Ballerina.”

There were rectangular punches on the scroll, lyrics, and arrows. When the punches reached the top, the band organ cranked up and cheerfully began to play. There were drums, whistles, a xylophone and the organ itself available, as well as various sound effects, such as the boo and a cheer. The arrows were magicked and they glowed. When they reached the gold line, they flashed and vanished.

Oh, my damn dress, Hyacinth thought, as she landed two steps and flubbed a third. It wasn’t as bad as some of the numbers David had put her in, but it was ankle length and it interfered when she picked up her feet. She hitched up the skirt in both hands, then rolled it into her left and held it against one hip.

Boo! the machine admonished her, regardless, blinking the sign.

“You hear it?” she said breathlessly, grinning.

Sanaam was grinning back at her, he nodded. Milo was rocking back and forth with a vague smile; he liked the music. Lucy was dancing in place with a big smile; she liked it too. Maggie and Calliope were watching the scroll, Erik was watching her feet. The General had her arms folded and was examining the ceiling.

Mordecai said, “It’s deliberately annoying.” He winced as she missed another step. “And flat.”

“I told you!” she cried. The Boo! sign was blinking regularly now, warning her against further errors. Aw, come on, she thought. Let me finish! I’ve almost got it!

Boo! The sign lit up solid. The roll spooled rapidly to the top and ejected.

“Crap!”

She got a smattering of applause. Mordecai and the General abstained. Lucy was particularly enthused. “Play it again!” she demanded.

Hyacinth bowed. She shook her head and threw down the skirt of her dress. “I’ve had my turn. Someone else try.”

“I wanna!” Lucy cried, lifting a hand.

“Well, you might be a little short for it, but okay…” Hyacinth read off the songs for her.

“‘Butterfly’!” said Lucy. “I want that one!”

Hyacinth punched it in. “B… 6…”

Lucy had absorbed that you needed to push the buttons and look at the arrows. Everything else had gone over her head. She also did not seem to notice that the machine was chastising her. She smiled the whole time. Calliope also smiled the whole time. Everyone else winced. The machine gave her twenty seconds of missing every single step before it ejected the roll.

“Aw, it’s so fast,” she complained. “Can I go again?”

“Everyone gets one song,” Hyacinth said, helping her down. “To start. You can have another later if you like.”

“Okay…”

Milo had a go next. He wasn’t familiar with most of the songs, but he did like that first one. He selected “Intermezzo No. 1.” It was by the same group. Also, it had a number in it. The scroll slid into place. Sing Along! did not light up for this particular piece.

He stood on the left and right arrows and considered the scroll.

That’s a little stiff. It needs oil.

So, what am I looking at here?

The punches were for the band organ. Vertical axis for timing, horizontal for which note and which instrument. Simple enough. But some of the punches weren’t playing.

Is that supposed to happen? Did I screw up?

“Milo, you’re supposed to hit the arrows,” Hyacinth said.

Milo frowned. This music was unpleasant.

Oh, wait, I see. The punches it plays are contingent upon the arrows. If the arrows are entered incorrectly, then this set of punches engages. Correct entry plays a completely different set.

“Was he not here when I explained about the arrows?” Hyacinth muttered aside.

It’s meant to be unpleasant. The arrows are…

The scroll spooled and ejected.

Excuse me, I was looking at that!

Milo selected “Intermezzo No. 1” again. The scroll slid into place and began to roll.

Okay. I get it now. This is all code. The punches are code for the machine and the arrows are code for me. We’re supposed to compliment each other. It’s playing the music so I have an auditory cue for when to enter my part.

“Mordecai, do you think he’s hypnotized or something?” Hyacinth said.

If I enter my code properly, it will reward me with nice music. Let’s see, that means jump, and that means turn in a circle. Ah! And the arrows with trails on them are sustained. This is easy! I don’t have nearly as much to do as the machine!

The scroll spooled and ejected.

Milo selected “Intermezzo No. 1” again.

“Auntie Hyacinth, he’s had three plays,” Lucy said.

“He’s not playing,” Hyacinth replied.

Milo started to play. For the first little bit, he kept glancing down at his feet, but that threw off his timing so he quit it. The buttons were pretty darn big, anyway. It was supposed to be easy for him. It was a game. He landed his first jump partway on one of the spaces between the buttons and frowned at himself. He was disappointing the machine. He pulled back his shoulders and tried to be a little more machine-like himself.

Up. Down. Left. Right. Eighth note. Quarter note. Oh! The different beats are different colours! This is so simple. It’s telling me everything I need to know.

Except where the buttons were, but if he metered his motions and paid attention, they were no trouble either.

“Holy shit, he’s good at it,” Hyacinth said softly. This wasn’t a thing you were meant to be good at. You were meant to be sort of mediocre at it and just frustrated enough to keep feeding it coins.

The cheer engaged.

Hey! All right! Best possible code version!

What a nice machine. With all the information and the feedback, it was like it was holding your hand the whole time. He nailed the rest of the song, despite the code’s occasional playful attempts to get him tangled in his own feet.

When the roll ejected, it applauded him.

So did his friends.

He smiled.

That was really fun! I like doing code! Why am I tired?

He had just been pushing buttons the whole time. They weren’t even that far apart.

It’s rather fast, Milo.

He subtly shook his head. Ann, I work on an assembly line. Don’t talk to me about fast.

Calliope took his hand to help him down and she wrapped both arms around his waist. “That was really cute,” she told him. She planted a light kiss on his cheek.

He gazed longingly at the machine. Aw, I want to go again.

But, maybe breathe first. Maybe breathe for a while, actually.

Maggie wanted to hear “Butterfly” as it was meant to be played – not in punishment mode. She commandeered the pad next and selected the song. She was good enough to keep it from ejecting immediately, but she still lit up the Boo! sign at regular intervals. It did not help that Milo kept leaning in, pointing at the scroll, and saying NO LOOK NO LOOK, like she didn’t get she was supposed to be doing the steps on the scroll.

“I see it, Milo!” she snapped finally, and that got him to back off. She got through the song, but the machine was not overly impressed with her. It did not applaud. Yeah, well, screw you too. She offered it a sign of her own.

“Magnificent!” the General cried.

“What?” said Maggie. “What do you want me to do? Apologize to it?”

“Apologize to Lucy and Calliope!”

Maggie sighed. She dropped a sarcastic curtsy, with her fingers plucking empty air above her trousers. “I am so sorry Miss Otis and Miss Otis. I will warn you the next time I intend to be rude so that you may avert your sensitive eyes.”

“S’all right,” Calliope said.

“Huh?” Lucy said.

“That thing is a bad influence,” the General muttered.

Grinning and nodding, Hyacinth replied, “It’s meant to be!”

[You can, of course, read the whole thing at the site and meet everyone!]

[taohs]

I did warn you that Black Lagoon is a dark series, a nitty gritty series that actually portrays the darkest aspects of humanity in every sense known to people. I think that is why this series is a favorite for me too.

I know women complain that men can't write female characters, but I think Rei Hiroe proves that he can write every character he created in every series he's done. I should get more involved in his other works.

I haven't had the chance to read the newer chapters.. Mostly because I don't think the site I used to read manga exists anymore, so I'll really have to find another site to read the manga. But! I do know what does happen in the newer chapters because people have posted scenes on here (so be careful of spoilers in the tags, if you hate being spoiled).

The reason why the Roberta's Blood Trail arc was created into an ova instead of a whole season was because there wasn't enough content for a whole season. But there was been two volumes out since then it was released, and now the newest volume comes out in the winter.

And before I forget! The ending for Roberta's Blood Trail is completely difference in the manga then in the anime. In the manga, Roberta has survived with no injures. She's unscathed. But in the anime, she lost a lot of limbs. So if there is ever a possibility that Roberta comes back - in the series, especially the anime - I don't know how they're going to even try pulling that off. So I don't know how to feel about the change between the endings. But I know it might seem more realistic though to give her injures after those events. I don't know to feel about that.

As a short person, part of me enjoyed Fabiola's character too. Like... I need a knives in my shoes too. I would love to have those shoes for all those reasons.

I believe Roberta is supposed to be the strongest character physically which is really obvious when she's introduced. But on the drugs, she's even more inhuman then before. Eating metal isn't normal for anyone at all. And what about her seducing that male soldier? That was dark.

I feel like the characters are more fleshed out when you learn more of and about them. Like in the next arc, that has yet to be animated, will mention more of Revy's past. During her time in prison.

And the relationship between Garcia and Roberta really made me lots more uncomfortable. I know he kissed her, not her kissing him. But.. I was surprised that happen. Like when they're first introduced, it even mentioned that Garcia's mother died was he was a child. So I thought their relationship was Roberta being a maternal figure to him, or even her being a older sister to a younger brother. Since their fathers really were childhood friends from what was mentioned about their pasts. If there relationship is romantic instead of familial, then it completely makes me uncomfortable. So I don't know about that relationship.

I love every character. Shenhua is actually in the next few arcs! And in Frederica Sawyer's spinoff series, there's even more Shenhua content too. Same with Eda's spinoff series. They really need to translate now.

Chang is manipulative prick who manipulated Rock into doing his dirty work, which led Rock into manipulating people into doing his dirty work. After Eda manipulated Chang into doing her dirty work.

Lotton (the stupid man child who lives with Shenhua and Sawyer) is a stupid person. He's an idiot. So calling him "special" is the nicest word Shenhua calls him. He's stupid. But also entertaining in his own way.

I would love to see more Sawyer too. In the main series, not just the spinoff. Same with Eda too. Actually just more female characters.

Janet's character gets fucked over in the next arc. So she'll be back in the next arc, but only for more of cameo scenes anyway. There's that.

And now you know why Revy's the way she is. She was abused by any person in her life, which is why she's a mercenary (and a dominatrix). She needs that control in her life to manage her darker instincts now.

That is why Rock is more considered the antihero type of character in this series now. Because he's in the twilight, he notices the lifestyle of the light and darkness in people. Which I did respect. Until he did this now. And, like you said, Revy sees Rock as her light in life which is the whole slow burning romantic relationship between them. But then he just has to fuck it up by being manipulative about his actions now. So I know he does whatever he can to help people, even if it leads to this darker path, but that is completely fucked up at the same time too. A part of me is interested in dark Rock (because I've always had a deep interest in darker characters like that). But another part of me really is wanting to hurt him for doing those horrible actions to people too. So I'm conflicted about that. I think that's why I enjoyed Yukio confronting him though.. I can respect that he wants to help people in any way he can, but there are different ways to make that happen instead of taking the darker path. Maybe. He died as Rokuro Okajima to live as Rock, that's what happen when he left his life behind in Japan. Revy gave in muliple chances to go back to his old life when they were in Japan, but he rejected every option too. Like he doesn't want to officially give up his old life, but he also won't embrace his new life either. Even if he doesn't kill people with his own hands, he is still able to manipulate people into doing his dirty work (which isn't any better either). Like he's too afraid, too indecisive, to succumb into his new life. Basically what you said. He needs to make up his mind.

But.. the next chapter with Rock... He seems normal again, normal for his character. He doesn't seem like a manipulative person toward the next person he helps. At least from what I've noticed about him.

And the manga does update slowly for a few reasons. Rei Hiroe really does have multiple projects, he works on the project he has the most inspiration for in that moment. So at least he's not rushing into any of the story, which I'm really happy about. And because of his health will come and go a lot, because of his depression. But the newest volume comes out in winter 2023, so hopefully in a few months then. And the most recent volume, twelve, revolves around Dutch's backstory.

I love every character in my opinion. But, in general, I can't pick any favorite characters from the female characters. I really love them all.

There are spinoffs. Well.. Spinoffs series of Eda and Sawyer. But there are also short novels, short stories, for some characters. Like Balalaika and even Shenhua, but I don't think those stories were ever translated either. Because I would have loved to read those stories.

I hope that they continue with the anime though, and also the manga. Definitely one of my main all time favorite series.

- 💋

it's definitely not a series i expected to get into so much! i'm really glad that you recommended it to me. i've had the opening on repeat for days now and have been rewatching certain scenes a lot lol. usually i don't feel super compelled to read the manga after, but with black lagoon i definitely want to! next time i go out to a manga shop, i'll keep an eye out to see if there are any copies of black lagoon too

roberta's blood trail definitely didn't seem long enough to be a whole season, but i read somewhere that they didn't have to deal with censorship for the ova which was why it was darker than usual. also wow, roberta made it out with no injury in the manga?? that's legit amazing! i think i like the realistic approach in the anime since it's hard to imagine her challenging an entire U.S force without getting hurt, but hmmm, let's see if i'll feel the same after i read it. yeah, roberta and garcia's relationship became gross to me after he kissed her, but i really hope it doesn't go anywhere romantically because i despise age gaps like that

dark rock would be interesting to explore for sure! since we've seen exactly what he is capable of now... and also exploring revy's reaction to seeing her "light" disappear too. it's been hinted at for a while now that revy is stuck in the midnight, but wants a way to step into the twilight, i would love to see if they go anywhere with that. i agree what you've said about rock being manipulative and indecisive, all while lecturing others about their morals, which is really hypocritical of him. i also feel like he is so fearless because he knows that revy will be there to protect him as well, treating her like his weapon. there were times where i felt that he disregards her concerns and does his own things anyway, which made me dislike him more

i really hope someone will translate the short novels and stories, because i NEED to learn about the characters. it's a necessity at this point. i should continue studying japanese so i don't have this problem T_T

[tiedyemillenialbullshit]

Nightmare

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female!Avenger Reader Word Count: 3,431 Summary: Your best friend finally comes to visit the compound after you join the Avengers. What starts out as a fun night out, quickly turns dire for you and Bucky. Warnings: Angst, Fluff, Feelings, Mentions of Alcohol and Drugs, PTSD/Nightmares, swearing

“AHHHH Y/N!!” You hear her before you see your best friend running towards you, not a care in the world that your entire team has also turned around to watch you two galavant towards each other like long lost sisters.

You catch Sarah in your arms and spin her around.

“Oh my god, I can’t believe you’re FINALLY HERE! And you’re early! Holy shit like I can’t believe you’re finally here in New York!! Let me introduce you to the team!” You grab her arm after she starts to show hesitance in meeting the Avengers all at once.

“Are you sure they have time? I don’t want to be a bother,” she says sheepishly.

“Oh my god Sarah, I talk about you all the time! They’re just as excited to meet you, come on.” You both walk towards the team still staring at you both near the entrance to the compound doing a quick debrief of a not-so-successful mission the day before.

“Guys, this is Sarah. Sarah this is-“ she cuts you off. “I know who you guys all are. It’s so nice to meet you! I’ll stay out of the way, I promise.” Everyone grins and introduces themselves to your best friend.

Nat smiles at you both, “On the contrary, you’re coming out with us tonight! No if’s, and’s or but’s”

Sarah seems to suddenly catch a second wind from her long flight and lets out a squeal of excitement.

You’re the newest to the “official” team, even though Steve and Fury had been trying to recruit you for years. You didn’t like the idea of the world knowing about your skill set and preferred to live a quiet life back in California. Ever since moving here, you’ve felt like maybe you weren’t home yet. Everyone was so nice and welcoming, but you missed your little house hidden in the outskirts of the National Parks in California. You missed the sun, the familiar smell of your patch of paradise and the general sense of room back home. Most importantly, you missed Sarah.

You were reluctant to invite her out to New York at first, but now that things seemed to be going smoothly, you sent for her via a car and private jet thanks to one Mr. Tony Stark. He was more than happy to help you out given your fresh and maybe sometimes bumpy arrival to the Avengers.

As everyone filed inside to break away before the evening festivities, Bucky caught your arm.

After holding you back for a second he said, “Hey, I can totally hang back tonight if you’d rather just be with Sarah and the team.”

You realize what he’s getting at. He also has some lack of feeling settled at the compound. It was something you bonded over when you first arrived. You both had similar pasts, even though they were at the same time lightyears apart.

“Buck, no. I think we’re all going out to Bleaker’s tonight! What’s a better way to get to know the team than bowling, beer, smoking inside, beer, old arcade games, more beer and maybe dancing?!”

Bucky gives you a quick glare out the corner of his eye before wrapping his metal arm around your shoulders to lead you inside after everyone.

“Fiiiiiiine, but I can’t promise I���ll behave.” You giggle, but suddenly feel a couple sets of eyes on you.

“And what do we have here?,” Tony asks with a smirk across his mouth. Sarah seems to be in the middle of an engaging conversation with Steve, so you don’t seem to have an easy out of this encounter. Bucky quickly drops his arm and steps a foot away from you.

“Uh, nothing. Y/N just seemed like maybe she wasn’t feeling well.”

“But I’m fine so here we are - have you seen Sam? Nat? Wanda? I told them we should be ready in a few hours and I jus-“

“Oh for Christ’s sake guys, your secret is safe with me,” Tony winks at you knowingly. You decide to take that as the end of the conversation and rush over to join Sarah.

“So! You have muscles.” Sarah says clearly at a loss of words looking at Steve in a tight shirt.

You and Bucky share a giggle, but pull Sarah away and save her from further embarrassment.

“What the fuck did I just say?” Sarah is about as red as a tomato as you drag her upstairs away from the awkward encounter. Steve looked a little flustered as well, which you file away in the back of your brain.

“Who cares! Let’s catch up and get ready for tonight.” Sarah is your best friend for a reason. Even though it had been 6 months since you last saw each other, it was like it was yesterday. You two spend the next few hours catching up, gossiping about each other’s families, friends, ex-boyfriends, etc.

“So! How are we doing in the boi department?” You turn around and face Sarah at the inquisitive tone in her question.

“What’s that supposed to mean? I’m good, I’m… I’m doing great, I mean yeah I’m good. WHY?” You’re stuttering and you don’t even care it’s obvious you’re blushing.

“Oh, you know. I mean, I’ve only recently met a few super soldiers, but I do think I can tell the there’s a spark between one and someone else.” Sarah so wants you to spill the tea but you promised Bucky you’d keep it quiet.

“Let’s just say things are developing and whatever you’d like to take from that you may.” You both launch into a giggle fit of her guessing and you denying certain aspects of Bucky Barnes.

When Wanda wanders into your room a few hours later, she starts laughing at what she sees. “You know you two are wearing like the same thing, right?” Exchanging confused looks at each other, you reply with a “AND?!”

Sam follows in with a smirk of his own. You’re bracing for his jokes but instead says “damn, OKAY! Everyone’s looking sharp tonight. Y/N, have you seen our bionic man around? Is he coming? He better come out tonight or I swear to…”

After Sam leaves to go find Bucky, the three of you wander down to find Nat and start the evening off with a shot or two. You aren’t much of a drinker, so one is enough for you. You much rather enjoy the company of your friend Mary Jane.

The team is getting silly with each other in the kitchen and quickly the room is filled with people yelling at each other to pregame harder, laughing when Nat’s little sister challenges Sam to a chugging contest and wins.

You feel a large hand at the small of your back. You can smell his cologne and know who it is immediately.

“Well don’t you look dashing tonight Sargent Barnes.” You lean in on impulse but stop yourself just as the girls turn around to see who you’re talking to.

“I was just going to say the same thing to you, sweets.” He mumbles in your ear before removing his hand and walking over to Sam.

The alcohol decides to hit you then, leaving you feeling empty that he’s not standing next to you anymore. Neither of you had wanted to have the “conversation” but you knew you were head over heels for him.

“CABS ARE HERE” screams Sam.

“Sam. For the love of God, stop watching Jersey Shore.” Natasha jokes to him.

At the same time Steve screams, “I understood that reference!” Eye rolls are exchanged as you all make your way outside.

The atmosphere is buzzing and you’re so excited to not just be out with your team, but to also have the only bit of family you had with you as well. You finally felt at home, at peace, and were ready for a fun night out.

Bleaker’s is one of those hole-in-the-wall dive bars that from the outside seems like a hard pass, but once you’re in, there’s no other place you’d rather spend a Saturday night. It’s true it started as a bowling alley in the 60’s. That still remains. What’s newer is the arcade in the back, where the old salon used to be. Jimmy bought the space next door, blew out the wall and filled it with arcade games that sometimes work and sometimes eat your money.

After years of being regular patrons, he knows your team well. The minute you walk in, he starts up all your favorite drinks.

“Ah! My best customers! I had a feeling I’d be seeing Earth’s mightiest heroes tonight.” You line up at the bar for whatever Jimmy decides you’re drinking tonight.

“Ah yes, two vodka on the rocks for my little Russian assassins. Sam here’s your vodka red bull which I don’t think you need, but here we are. Steve! Your drink of choice: an Old Style. Wanda, a cosmo for my favorite witch. And who do we have here, Y/N?”

You’re already both in hysterics at the old man behind the bar giving everybody a hard time. “Jimmy, this is my best friend Sarah. She’s visiting from California for a few days.”

“And whatever the lady wants can be put on my tab…” Steve butts in. Sarah immediately turns red but says “well in that case I’ll have vodka soda with lime please!”

Bucky has come up behind you and now you’re both laughing and watching the two of them stare at each other like no one else is in the room.

“Oh no, what did you do Y/N?”

“Let it play out, he’s not completely tripping over his words yet, maybe he’ll finally land a good girl.” You hush to Bucky.

Jimmy stares as well in amusement. “And you two? Your usual?”

“Yes’sir!” You shout over the growing music. Jimmy hands you each a jack and Diet Coke. You tell yourself it’s okay because it’s diet, but you know that’s a bunch of bullshit.

The other great thing about Bleaker’s? The dance floor downstairs. You always joke around that it seems like a nightclub that never closes in Amsterdam or something, but you’re serious. It could be 3 pm and sunny and you’d never know. It’s in the basement, it's always dark and the music is almost always too loud.

Usually that would gross you all out, but the energy tonight is pushing you all downstairs.

You reach back and grab Bucky’s hand not really caring who sees. It’s been months of sneaking around and either everyone knows and is playing it off like they don't or you’re really good at hiding it. Regardless, you’re over hiding. Maybe showing a little PDA tonight will get him out of his shell.

Sarah and Steve are no where in sight, assuming they’re ahead of you, you follow the team downstairs.

Minutes turn into hours. Everyone is dancing, laughing, sweating, screaming the lyrics to every song, and for a little while you can forget you’re a group of superheroes, and can just be normal 30-something year-olds.

You mostly dance with Bucky and quickly realize he’s a better dancer than you thought he would be. Those moves from the 1940’s must still be relevant in some way today, because the way he's grinding up on you and not caring if anyone sees just does something to you.

You work the room, finding Sarah, Wanda, Nat, even Steve for a song before you realize you don't see Bucky. You give it a few minutes thinking maybe he is in the bathroom. After 15 minutes though, you grab Steve’s attention and motion for him to check the bathroom while you check outside.

You race to the alley where you find Jimmy on a smoke break. “Hey Jimmy, have you seen Bucky? I can’t find him.”

“Oh yeah, doll, he took off in a cab about a half hour ago. Looked real flustered, but I didn’t want to press.”

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. You thought you felt his mood shift about an hour ago, he was becoming stiff and quiet. You thought maybe he was just drinking a lot but now you’re realizing the loud music, strobe lights and base must have been triggering him.

“Ugh I’m such a bitch,” you huff as you send Steve a S.O.S text.

You: Hey, Jimmy said he just left. I'm sure he's heading home. I'm going to go find him.

Sire Captain Rogers: Go ahead. I think Sarah and I can find something to do while you find Buck. ;)

You: Yeah I’m sure you can.

You: BEHAVE. She’s my best friend.

Sire Captain Rogers: I know Y/N, don’t worry about us. Let me know when you find him.

You lock your phone and hop in a cab back to the compound.

No one is up or around when you enter through the front. The kitchen has been cleaned up, the dishes done. Probably thanks to THURSDAY, Tony’s beta bot for “cleaning up after you assholes trash the place.”

You smirk and head for the elevators. Heading straight to Bucky’s room, you can tell his light is on but something seems off. You don’t like to use your powers on friends or in the compound, but you close your eyes and reach out with your mind to find his aura. Your eyes snap open. You don’t sense him, you just see red.

Taking this as a good excuse to break into a friend’s room, you burst into the room to find it in disarray. Everything is toppled over, broken glass is on the floor, the bathroom light is on, but all you can see is his blood on the door and the floor. You’re panicked, trying to piece together what happened.

Again, you close your eyes and reach out for the familiar energy of Bucky. You find him in your room on the floor.

“What the fuck?,” you mumble and sprint up the stairs to your apartment. You shoot Steve a text on your way up.

You: Found him, looks like a bad one. I’ll let you know if I need you.

Sir Captain Rogers: Thanks Y/N. I’m just a call away, let me know if you need anything. Night.

Upon entering, you sense he’s in distress. His heart rate is elevated, he’s incredibly sweaty and is panting like a dog.

“Bucky? Buck, it’s me, it’s Y/N.”

Bucky stirs and jumps into a defensive standing position quicker than you can blink. You flip the lights on with a “BABE. Baaabe, it’s me. It’s okay, you’re safe. We’re in the compound. You had a nightmare.”

Bucky’s eyes are wide and alarmed, but you can tell the moment he recognizes you.

Rushing over to you, he takes you into a big hug. “Oh my god. What happened? Are you okay, did I hurt you?”

“No Bucky, no I just found you a minute ago. You had another bad one, what do you need me to do right now for you?”

Bucky stands back and rubs his swollen eyes. “I need to shower, can you help me?”

Typically, this is where it gets exciting, but you knew what he means. Water grounds him. He doesn’t feel like he’s falling in water. It helps him visualize the stress washing off of him.

You help him strip and get in the shower, but before you can even take his jeans off, he jumps in and pulls you in with him. You realize how desperate he is for whatever he’s feeling to pass and your heart sinks.

You’re both standing there, almost fully clothed holding each other. This is the worst you’ve seen him in a long time.

“I’m so sorry if I ruined your night, Y/N. The base sounded like the train, the lights looked like the machine they used on me, what the fuck.”

You aren’t sure what to do so you decide to sit on the ground and pull him down with you. You position yourself behind him so his back is in your chest. Even though he’s so much larger than you, he sinks down enough for you to reach over his shoulders and hold him.

“It’s okay Barnes, just breathe with me. You’re safe. You’re with me, and we’re home. Nobody is going to touch you. I’ve got you, you won’t fall.”

You take in deep breaths so he can match your breathing.

After about 45 minutes, the hot water is out in the tank. Bucky sits forward and turns towards you. You want him to lead right now, so you don’t say anything. Neither does he, but the look in his eyes are telling you something about tonight is different.

With a soft smile on your lips, you cup his cheek until he is really looking at you. “Hun, let’s go lay down, ya? Let me help get you dried off.” Bucky hates when you fuss over him, so when he doesn’t argue, you know to be extra gentle with him.

After getting him up and out of the shower, you think skin-to-skin contact doesn’t seem sexual right now, it feels intimate in a grounding sense, and you know that’s exactly what he needs right now. Bucky seems dazed, almost like he got hit too hard in the head. You yourself are of course a tad over-served, and are quickly realizing the adrenaline of this entire situation is rubbing off.

You get Bucky into bed and turn to make sure his phone is plugged in and that he has a glass of water, but he grabs your wrist before you can move away. “Just leave it, it’s fine.”

“Buck, just let me-“ he grabs your wrist harder.

“Y/N. Please just stay here. Please.”

The entire time you’ve been together, he’s done a lot of things but begging you for anything is not one of them. Suddenly the phone and whatever hell else you were doing doesn’t seem important anymore.

You climb into your usual spot next to him and decide maybe you’ll try to get him to open up. The moment the back of your head hits the pillow, Bucky is facing you. His pleading eyes seem like they want to tell you everything that’s going on in his head, but you know pushing him to talk will just make the nightmares come flooding back too soon.

Instead, you decide to lay on your back and pull him to lay on your chest.

“Just listen to my heart beat, Bucky.” You hear him take a deep breath and settle into your chest.

You start and stop yourself from trying to say something comforting. You’re terrified to say the wrong thing at such a crucial moment. Typically these bad episodes are reserved for a Steve house call. You realize as he’s settling into a comfortable position that he hasn’t asked you to call Steve yet. Bucky trusts you in a way you didn’t realize until now.

You don’t know when, but you start humming the first calming song that comes in your head.

I’ll be seeing you In all the old familiar places That this heart of mine embraces All day through

Bucky picks his head up to look at you. Oh fuck.

“Where did you hear that song?,” he says to you with shiny eyes.

“You sing it all the time when you’re concentrating. I looked it up and added it to my ‘bath time/relax’ playlist. I didn't know Billie Holliday was a favorite of yours."

Bucky was looking at you like maybe this was the first time he saw you, like really saw you. “My mom used to sing that around the house when she was missing my dad.”

“Oh I’m so sorry, I didn’t know. I can hum a diff-“ you’re cut off with the most searing kiss Bucky has ever given you. He’s crying when he pulls back to look at you again. “Will you keep singing it?”

In that small cafe The park across the way The children's carousel That chestnut tree, the wishing well

By the time you finish the second verse, he has physically relaxed in your arms. You continue rubbing your hand up and down his back and shoulder, stopping to play with his long hair every once in a while.

I'll be seeing you In every lovely summer's day In every thing that's light and gay I'll always think of you that way

“I forgot how much I love hearing this song sung around me.” Bucky whispers so quietly you almost miss it.

I'll find you in the morning sun And when the night is new I'll be looking at the moon But I'll be seeing you…

You stop your caressing when you feel him sit up on one arm.

He leans down to kiss you but stops short to whisper “I love you Y/N.” You kiss him back and wrap your arms around his shoulders, and when you say “I love you too, Bucky,” you’ve never been more sure of something in your life.

[wooyunhwa]

𝔥𝔢𝔞𝔯𝔱𝔰 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔰𝔭𝔞𝔡𝔢𝔰 | 𝔭𝔞𝔯𝔱 𝔱𝔴𝔬

check pinned post for masterlist!

Genre: smut (with plot!)

Pairing: mafia au!seonghwa x fem!reader

Word Count: 7.5k

Warnings: kidnapping, non-sexual violence, bondage, spanking, choking, sensory deprivation (blindfolding), mentions of alcohol use, 

Synopsis: Kidnapped and helpless, Seonghwa is the only one that can save you. Will his secrets finally come to light?

A/N: Thank you so much for reading and comments are always appreciated <3 I hope you guys like it! Stay tuned for part three!! Sorry, had to end on another cliffhanger, but I promise, you won’t be disappointed with what part 3 has in store. My tags aren’t working at all so if you could reblog this that would really help me and this story be seen I’d really appreciate it! So much work has gone into this. Thank you~ 

The trunk of the van was cold and unforgiving against your limbs as you sat helplessly against the wall, the curve and bumps of the road jostling you slightly. It was hard to keep your balance with your wrists bound together behind you. In front of you, your ankles were also bound tightly with rope. Your captors had blindfolded you, and no matter how much you writhed and tossed your head around, you couldn’t figure out a way to slip it off. Not that it would have mattered - your eyesight was the least helpful thing you could have had right now. Your screams and cries for help only echoed uselessly in the metal cage of the van, and at a certain point your voice gave out and you gave up entirely, hanging your head in defeat.

You felt the van swerve around a sharp corner, nearly toppling you over on your side. The car rumbled beneath you as if going over loose gravel. Finally you halted to a stop, lurching you forward slightly. The doors of the van unlatched with a distinct click and swung open. The voices of the men were clear now. 

“Help me grab ‘er,” one said, and you felt the van’s weight shift as he climbed in the back with you. You screamed as he grabbed you and yanked you from the open trunk. You were met with the brisk outside air and the cold, wet feeling of rain gently falling around you. 

The man guided you by your shoulders through the gravel, and you shuffled your feet to keep from tripping. You were inside a building now, and he shoved you down onto a creaky wooden chair. He took a second to re-tie you to the chair before slipping the blindfold off, your eyes taking only a few seconds to adjust to the dim light in the room. It looked like you were in some kind of shed, maybe even a barn, but you couldn’t tell. There were two men in front of you, one significantly taller than the other, their height being really their only distinguishing features. 

“Don’t worry sweetheart. We won’t hurt you as long as your little boyfriend brings us what we want,” the taller man said. The pet name made you cringe. 

“Fuck you. And he’s not my boyfriend,” you sneered through gritted teeth. “What do you want from him anyway?”

“Not your business sweetie,” the shorter man said.

“I don’t know how much of a piece of shit you have to be to kidnap an innocent girl, but don’t think Seonghwa is gonna let you get away with this,” you spat at them. You don’t know what overcame you to be so openly combative with the men who were holding you hostage, but the spite dripped so easily off your tongue. 

“Feisty little thing, aren’t you? Don’t make us gag you,” the tall man said. He stepped close to you, tipping your chin up to look at him. You cringed in disgust, trying not to meet his eyes. “We don’t want to hurt a pretty girl like you,” he said, running a finger across your jaw. You fought back the urge to bite down hard on his finger. You might have been angry, but you didn’t have a death wish. 

“We’re not worried about Seonghwa. He might be the boss’ son but he has... well… a reputation. That pretty boy would never have the guts to do anything,” the shorter man said from across the room, laughing lightly. “I don’t know if you knew this, but your boyfriend has a reputation for being kind of a pussy.”

“Still not my boyfriend,” you grumbled through your teeth. Despite what they were implying, you weren’t worried about his ability to fight—you could still vividly recall the smooth and almost effortless way he took out your boyfriend, the way he stretched out his fingers casually afterwards like it was nothing to him. You remembered the way Seonghwa looked at him like trash on the floor afterwards. And most of all, you remembered how Seonghwa had told you he made arrangements to ‘take care of him’. Although you didn’t question it much at the time, a part of you wondered if he had ordered for him to be killed, especially knowing the connections he must have. You shook the thought out of your head. There were more important things to worry about, like being tied to a chair in some dingy shack. 

The taller man stepped away from you and leaned into his partner’s ear, whispering something you couldn’t make out. 

They left shortly after that, leaving you tied on the chair for what could have been anywhere from ten minutes to ten hours, you couldn’t tell. Your eyelids began to grow heavy as you waited with nothing but your thoughts and the pattering of rain on the ceiling.

A loud noise shook you from your trance. Someone had kicked through the door, and it rattled off its hinges easily as if it was held together with duct tape.

Seonghwa. 

In your sudden relief, you could only choke out one stupid sentence. “You probably could have just opened that, you know.”

He laughed at your unexpected greeting, but quickly growing serious again at the sight of you tied helplessly to the chair. “Are you okay? Did they hurt you?” 

“No, not yet… fuck, can you get me out of these things? They’re starting to cut off my circulation.” you gestured to the ropes viced around your limbs.

Your relief was short-lived. In an unskillful display of desperation, your kidnappers shoved their way through the kicked-in door frame. Was your vision giving out? You were sure you had been kidnapped by two men before, but there were four now. Fuck. You were confident in Seonghwa’s ability to fight against two men, but four? The newer additions were much burlier, too. 

Seonghwa turned on his heels to face the captors, but he seemed unshaken. He shot you a confident glance over his shoulder, and something gleamed in his eye. What was it? Was he seriously going to take on four men on his own? What kind of overconfident idiot-

Before you could conclude your thought, one man was on the floor already. There was a sickening crack and a thud as he hit the ground, but Seonghwa hadn’t moved. One of the men lunged forward. He grabbed Seonghwa by the lapel of his jacket, cocking his elbow for a hook, but Seonghwa intercepted him with a viper quick jab to the throat. He staggered back, saliva dribbling from his lips as he clutched his throat. 

As your line of vision cleared, you saw two additional men had entered the fray. At first you thought you were fucked, but then you heard a voice call out a friendly greeting. 

“Yo, Hwa! Heard you were getting your ass kicked.” 

The distinct sound of a fist hitting flesh echoed against the walls of the room, and another one of the kidnappers staggered back. 

“Who, me? Like hell,” Seonghwa called, smiling viciously as he dodged another blow from throat-punch guy, who looked furious. Seonghwa landed a well angled hit to his jaw, effectively uppercutting his lights out. He landed hard on the floor, dead weight as he was knocked cold, and Seonghwa turned on his heels to grab his next victim. 

A flash of red hair caught your eye as he ducked and weaved between two guys, while a blonde guy wound up a swing with a crowbar like an all star baseball champion. Red hair baited one opponent closer, ducking just in time for blondie to knock him out of the park. The sound of the crowbar hitting his teeth sent shivers down your spine, but you simultaneously wanted to leap up and cheer them on. You stayed glued to your seat, heart pumping with adrenaline. 

Molars scattered across the floor. Poor guy landed hard, wailing in agony as blood poured from his lips. Red haired guy threw a lethal cross, twisting his hip to power up his momentum as his fist impacted the other guy’s nose, most likely shattering it, sending him staggering back in a daze. He fell right into Seonghwa, who grabbed him by the jacket and sent him careening toward the wall, his forehead cracking against a support beam. He dropped like a rock, and the room fell quiet, save for one guy shrieking in pain. A swift boot to the jaw silenced him, and blondie turned, tossing the crowbar over his shoulder with a satisfied smirk. 

Seonghwa turned back to you, rubbing his bruised knuckles with a huff. His lips turned up into a smile, and he gave a nod with his head toward the new guys. 

“So, these are my cohorts. Wooyoung—” he paused, pointing at blondie, who tilted his head up in a friendly nod, “—and Jongho,” he pointed at the redhead, who gave you an adorable smile and a wave.

“So this is the girl, huh?” Wooyoung said, smiling at you as he looked you up and down. Out of the three of them, he looked the most like he belonged in the mafia. He wore a loosely fitted leopard print button up under a black leather jacket, his side-shaven bleach blonde hair neatly styled with gel. “She’s cute.”

Next to him, Jongho stood sternly. You wondered how this baby-faced guy could have taken out the burly one all on his own. He seemed younger than Seonghwa, but certainly stronger. “She definitely looks like your type, Seonghwa,” Jongho said, flashing a knowing smile at him. “We all know you like a girl in bondage.”

Seonghwa’s face immediately went flush. “Shut up, Jongho,” he said, shooting him a threatening glare. “Come on, help me untie her before more of their goons come looking for them,” Seonghwa said, moving around the chair to loosen the tight knots bound on your wrists. 

You turned your head over your shoulder and widened your eyes at him, arching your eyebrows as you watched him skillfully disentangle the knots. “You like a girl in what?”

“We can talk about this later,” he muttered through his teeth, his cheeks an incriminating beet-red.

“Careful, you’ll scare her off,” Wooyoung teased. 

“Honestly, if getting kidnapped didn’t scare her off, I don’t think anything will,” Jongho reassured Seonghwa with a pat to the shoulder. You felt oddly proud at that, for some reason. He was right, you were a tough cookie, you could handle a kidnapping or two. 

Seonghwa gave you a hand as you rose from the chair, steadying you with a delicate hand around your waist. Your joints creaked from being tied up for so long, but you could walk on your own. Still, he kept a protective arm around you as he escorted you back to the car. You stepped over one of the unconscious bodies on your way out, his tall frame blocking the doorway. You cringed at the puddle of crimson around his mouth, but celebrated your freedom nonetheless. His hand twitched as you lifted your leg over him, and you flinched, curling your fingers tighter into Seonghwa’s shirt. He laughed softly, pulling you close. 

You slid into the passenger seat of Seonghwa’s car, the plush leather of his Bentley Continental soothing the ache in your bones. It was hands down the single most expensive thing you’d ever touched, and you couldn’t help but to imagine what it would be like for him to pick you up in it for a date. You sighed as you relaxed into it, feeling tired from the adrenaline comedown. 

A blacked-out Mercedes S Class revved its engine as it peeled out of the lot, and Wooyoung winked at you from the driver’s side window. 

“That douche,” Seonghwa laughed as he turned his key in the ignition. The engine purred decadently, and Seonghwa slammed on the gas, tearing down the road right on Wooyoung’s heels. You gripped the edge of your seat as the inertia slammed you backwards, a thrilled laugh bubbling up from your chest. 

He shifted gears, launching into a high speed battle of pride with the other guys, flying down the rural highway with his tongue poking out in concentration, one side of his mouth quirked up into a smirk. He put the S Class in his rear view mirror, and you couldn’t help but to roll the window down, shoving your fist out with a triumphant holler. You grinned widely as the wind blew your hair in a wild tornado, your screams and laughter lost in the roar of the highway. You noticed Seonghwa peek over at you, a tiny smile tugging at his lips, but just for a second. 

Exhaustion hit the moment you stepped into his apartment, but your mind was still reeling from the day’s events. You didn’t plan on getting much sleep that night, and you were still a bit angry at Seonghwa for not disclosing the fact that he was in the fucking mafia, but you chose to shove those feelings aside. Mafia or not, you still felt much safer with than without him. 

“Seonghwa.” 

“Hm?”

“Don’t leave me tonight. Please?” you looked at him with the biggest, saddest eyes you could manage, hoping to hit a soft spot. You didn’t need much.

He sighed. “Of course I won’t. This is all my fault anyway. If something were to happen again I wouldn't be able to forgive myself."

And so he stayed.

You talked for a while on the bed as you tried your best to calm yourself down. You were still in a rush of nerves from adrenaline and relaxation felt hopeless, sleep even more so. In fact, sleep wasn’t even in the realm of possibilities.  

As you made conversation, you recalled a question that had been nagging at you since he'd saved you earlier. You could have asked him anything you wanted. You could have asked what the men wanted, or how he found you, but instead…

"Hey… what was with that thing Jongho said back there? About ‘liking a girl in bondage’?”

Seonghwa immediately pulled his gaze away, breaking eye contact, heat rising in his cheeks like before. “He was just teasing me.”

“So it’s not true?”

“I never said it wasn’t,” he said, running his fingers through his hair. You admired the curve of his jaw, and suddenly you wanted nothing more than for him to take you right there. His eyes went dark as he paused to pull his gaze up and down at your body. “I always thought you’d look good tied up for me.”

You felt your breath hitch in your throat. You saw how he looked at you, hungrily, as if picturing you bound to the bed frame right then. But something seemed to be holding him back, like he was trying to resist the temptation to fall back into a bad habit. You wouldn’t let him. You held out your wrists playfully in front of you. "Well then tie me up." His eyes widened at your proposal. "C'mon. Look, I can't sleep like this. I need a distraction. Please."

He drew his tongue across his bottom lip pensively, before finally giving in with a click of his tongue against his teeth. "I really can't say no to you." 

You smiled at how easily he conceded to your pleas. He was surely thinking the same thing that had been on your mind for the past week—this was going to have to end, and some time had to be the last. He had made you promise to never contact him after this was over, and you were sure now more than ever after putting you through danger that he was going to hold up his end of that deal. This would be your last soiree with him, and you wanted—no, needed—it to count. 

He leaned in, hooking his hand on the collar of your shirt, eyes glazed over with lustful intensity. “You’re too dangerous for me, you know... I have no control when it comes to you.” A shiver traveled down your spine. That’s exactly what you wanted: you wanted him to lose his control for you, you wanted him weak for you. You wanted him to want you like you wanted him. “And that’s why I want to make this last time unforgettable.”

You broke the thick tension between you with a slow, sensual kiss, sliding your tongue against his. He nibbled at your lip as you pulled back slowly, lingering your lips precariously close to his, nearly touching. His fingers dug into your waist hungrily. “Do your worst.” 

“Are you sure you mean that?” he asked carefully. The air between you grew hot as the tension rose, your lips barely grazed against each other’s. 

“Yes, I’m sure.” Something about the amount of restraint he seemed to be exercising told you there was a part of him he was holding back, something more animalistic. 

“You have to tell me if I’m being too rough, okay?” he said, voice smooth like honey, tracing a finger along the curve of your jaw. “I don’t want to hurt you.” 

You nodded eagerly, willingly accepting his terms. If this was the last time you could experience him, you wanted everything he had, no matter what it was. Something about the soft way he talked about hurting you gave chills. He was entirely gentle and yet his words felt sinister. 

He stood up to receive something from the closet, what looked like a thin scarf. You expected him to cinch your hands together with it, but instead he sat himself behind you, pulling the silky material around your eyes and fastening it tightly with a knot at the back of your head. “Good girl,” he praised, his voice deep and smooth like honey.

He let his fingers wander down your neck and shoulders, pausing to stroke your collarbone. His touch was gentle but electrifying. You were entirely blind now, but you could feel the heat of his gaze from behind you. The blindness was exhilarating, as it left your other senses completely heightened. He continued to let his fingers trace your collarbone as his lips made contact with the sensitive skin at the back of your neck, placing slow and sensual kisses slowly down your neck and shoulders. He took his time, excruciatingly, as you squirmed in anticipation for his next move. You were truly submissive in the blindfold—he had complete control over his next move. The thrill of anticipation made your head spin.

Still behind you, he lifted the hem of your shirt up slowly, and you followed suit by pulling your arms up to help him strip you. He released the clasp of your bra, gently removing it. His hands wandered at your breasts, tracing over your nipples until they grew hard and sensitive. 

Out of nowhere, you felt a sudden tension around your wrists behind you. The familiar rough sensation of rope cinched your arms together. “You’re doing so good for me darling,” he whispered in your ear, delivering one final tightening of the knot, causing you to yelp out in surprise. “You look even prettier like this than I imagined.” 

You were sitting on the bed now on your knees in only your panties, blindfold cutting off your vision, wrists bound behind you. Seonghwa sat straddling you from behind, and you could feel he had stripped entirely. He caressed your body for a while, teasing you with a brutally faint touch. You moaned and squirmed eagerly as he wandered his hand closer to your already soaked panties, rubbing his fingers against the damp fabric. His fingers slipped inside you briefly, and you let out soft pleasured moans. The sensation was overwhelming after such excruciatingly drawn out teasing. 

Your moans were cut off by Seonghwa’s finger hooking over your teeth and pushing into your mouth. You sucked at it eagerly, and he shoved a few more inside, eliciting an involuntary gag. You heard Seonghwa sigh lustfully in your ear at the sound, taking pleasure in what he was doing to you. “That’s it baby,” he said, his deep voice resonating like music to your ears. His other hand continued to pulse in and out of you, and you were practically dripping now, unable to hold back your neediness. Your pleasured moans were muffled as you sucked and licked at his long fingers.

“Tell me what you want,” he ordered. He’d never been so forward or vocal before. You loved hearing his deep voice dripping like honey in your ear-- just the sound of it could have been enough to drive you all the way over the edge if he kept talking. 

“Mmf- I want- you- fuck me-” you mumbled through his fingers, and he shoved them in further, eliciting another soft gag. You couldn’t express what you wanted, not only because of his fingers muffling your sounds, but your head was spinning from his touch. “Please- fu- mm-”

“How cute, you can’t even get words out.” 

He pulled his fingers out of your mouth, drool pooling at the sides of your lips. Between your legs, his other hand pulled your soaked panties down your legs as he began to circle your clit with his thumb. You whimpered under his complete control. He used his fingers so masterfully, like everything else he did. His contented breaths in your ear sent shivers down your spine. 

He repositioned himself suddenly, sitting up tall behind you, and dragged you up straight against him. You felt both his hands move under your ass, hoisting you up over his waist and pushing you down on his dick without warning. You let out a choked cry as his dick stretched you out entirely. “Fuck, Y/N…” he growled, his voice getting darker every time he spoke. “You have no idea how much I want to ruin you.”

He rutted his hips up under you, thrusting himself even deeper inside where you sat on his dick. You let out another cry, and his hand came up to your neck. Your arms, still bound together behind you, squirmed and writhed at the urge to claw at the fingers viced around you. You loved the sensation as his grip tightened, sending you soaring in an unfamiliar headrush. He bucked his hips up and down as you tightened around his shaft

“Seonghwa, fuck- ah-” Your choked cries seemed to spur him on to grip tighter around your neck. Your high nearly spilled over into darkness as he loosened his grip suddenly. You let out a few sputtering coughs as you caught your breath. 

He thrusted a few more times up into you as you caught your breath. “Sorry, I couldn’t help myself.”

“It’s okay- ah- I like the pain,” you said breathlessly. 

“Mm…” he sighed roughly against the back of your neck, planting a few soft kisses. “You really shouldn’t have said that.” 

His hands came to your waist, hoisting you off his dick. It slid out with a lewd sound, and you felt him get up from behind you. You were sure you looked like a drooling, horny mess, still bound and blindfolded on the bed helplessly. 

You sat there for a while in silence, and the anticipation of his next move kept you on edge, unable to settle in. The silence was unnerving, almost excruciating. Was he gone? Was he watching? 

You snapped up when you finally heard footsteps again, pacing around the room and then coming towards you. He leaned into your ear, pulling his arms around your waist to untie the ropes around your wrists. 

“Do you trust me?” he asked carefully. You nodded. You did trust him, but at this point, you would have said anything to keep his hands on you. You didn’t care what he did, you just craved his touch.

“With your words.” 

“Yes, yes, I trust you Seonghwa. Please.”

He untied your blindfold and it slipped off your face, falling to the bed by your knees. It was dark, but your eyes took a moment to adjust to the faint glow of the moonlight washing through the window. His face overwhelmed you instantly—you didn’t realize how much you’d missed it while blinded. The cut of his jaw was the first thing you noticed, then his dark, lustful eyes sparkling in the faint light. His lips pulled up into a smirk as he watched your eyes trace his features. You’re sure the look on your face indicated the way you were marveling at him, as if you were admiring the world’s most beautiful piece of art. 

“We’re gonna play a game,” he purred, still leaning over the bed where you sat, fully freed from the ropes. His eye contact was piercing, almost terrifyingly.

“What’s the game?”

“I’m gonna fuck you, and every time you make a pretty little noise…” he delivered a light smack to the side of your ass. “I spank you.”

Your jaw dropped at his proposal. You liked it—you already admitted you liked a little pain to him earlier—but was this the same Seonghwa you practically dommed in his penthouse? 

“What if I can’t control it?”

“Well then your ass is going to hurt tomorrow, isn’t it?” 

You gulped, nodding. His aura oozed power now. He may have been in the mafia, but he’d never displayed so much power, so much control, until now.

He climbed on the bed, flipping you over easily and guiding your face to the pillows. He hoisted your hips up to be flush with his, running one finger along your folds to test your wetness, before aligning the tip of his cock at your opening. Already, you were struggling to hold back moans, your body trembling under his touch. 

He slid the tip in slowly, and you rocked forward in pleasure, biting your lip to keep in the noises. He positioned one hand at the small of your waist, the other on your ass, waiting. As he thrust himself all the way in you couldn’t control the cries that fell from your lips. 

“What did I tell you?” He said, delivering the first harsh smack to your ass. You gritted your teeth at the sudden impact, but the light sting also felt incredible as he rocked inside of you. Your breathing grew shallow as he toyed with you, switching up the pace in a way that had your head spinning. You could tell he wasn’t moving in a way to get himself off—he wanted to watch you squirm. 

He thrusted in another time, hard, and you whimpered involuntarily. Another smack. This went on for several minutes, Seonghwa continuing to deliver harsh smacks to your ass until it was stained with a permanent sting. You were shaking under his touch, and he let up, rubbing your back with comforting pressure. 

“Have you had enough, darling?” he cooed softly, almost condescendingly, but it sounded amazing coming off his tongue. You nodded. “Mm, okay, we can be done now.”

He stroked your hair as he thrust himself back in, picking up a considerable rhythm now. You moaned like your life depended on it now, finally able to let it out. He gripped a hand in your hair, pulling it together into a messy ponytail, tugging lightly as he slid his dick in and out. Your eyes rolled back into your head as he pounded into you. You could definitively say now that he fucked exactly how he looked—like a god. 

His other hand made its way underneath you, tracing your clit. It only took a few seconds of stimulation for your orgasm to hit, and it was more intense than you’d ever experienced before, or imagined you could experience again. It rocked through your body like a wave, overtaking you entirely. You let out a final cry as it reached its summit. Seonghwa let out a final grunt as he reached his tipping point, pulling out of you to spill over onto your back. 

You collapsed onto your stomach, completely spent, and you could swear you blacked out for a moment while he brought in a damp washcloth to clean you up with. 

The dominant side of him seemed to melt away instantly, as he stroked your back gently. “Are you okay? I didn’t hurt you too much?”

You nodded drowsily, all your pain seeming to dissolve under his touch.

You fell asleep on him that night, nestled in the warmth of his neck. You fit so perfectly in his arms like that, like it was meant to be. You imagined what it would feel like to cuddle up to him like this every night, but the thought was too good to be true. You knew this was the last chance you would have to touch him like this. 

It had been several months since you last saw Seonghwa, and you were just starting to move on from him. Well, part of that was true. The last time you’d been in contact with him was when he had dropped you at your apartment, ex-boyfriend nowhere in sight. You didn’t push him too much on how he managed to “take care” of him, assuming he’d paid him off or ran him out of town by threatening him. Either way, you had just been happy to be back home. Your days with Seonghwa felt like a distant fever dream, but it was several weeks until you could get the taste of him off your lips and his image out of your mind. 

You did your best to scrub him from your head, but it felt impossible. He haunted you in every way possible. 

On one day of particularly drunken weakness, you paid a visit to his bar. You justified it by saying you were just checking in on him, making sure he was okay, but really you just wanted to see his face. Was it risky? Extremely. Were you drunk? Also extremely. You sat in an indiscriminate seat at the end of the bar, hoping not to be seen. But another part of you wanted him to notice you, regardless of the consequences. That was the drunk part.

But he didn’t notice you. In fact, he wasn’t even concentrating on the happenings of the bar at all. You could see him atop his VIP throne, the one that overlooked every seat in the bar from the lofted second story. He had a girl by his side, his arm draped around her waist, clearly flirting. Scorching heat rose in your chest as you watched him seduce her, your heart stinging with a fiery jealousy you had never felt before. In the back of your mind, you always knew he was bound to be back to his socialite self, bringing girls up to his penthouse suite every night—the same penthouse suite you had shared that first fateful night… and the morning after. Even so, the jealousy burned in your throat, and so did the alcohol you were knocking back to drown your feelings. A large part of you wanted to disappear off the face of the earth right that second, shrink into the bar stool and never be seen again. The other part wanted him to notice you, even if just for a moment. You didn’t care if he was mad that you came, you just wanted to take him in up close again. You wanted him to acknowledge you. You watched in anguish as he let the girl by her waist in the direction of the elevators, not to be seen again. You left the bar that night sobbing, and didn’t stop until you passed out in bed. Since then, you swore you were never going to think about him again. He wasn’t worth it. You had to come to terms with the fact that you were just another one of his playthings—one he just happened to take pity on.

You swore you’d move on, and you did, mostly. The independence of not being tied down felt incredible, and you took advantage of your newfound sexual prowess to download a dating app and have some fun for yourself. But there was a small part of you -- one that you didn’t ever want to admit to—that could only picture Seonghwa every time you fucked another guy. 

11pm. 

You were laying in bed, swiping hopelessly through men on your phone, sifting through hundreds of desperate guys you couldn’t care less about. You couldn’t sleep, even after a few pathetic drinks alone in your kitchen, when you heard a knock. You had felt on edge about people coming to your door ever since the kidnapping, but today you were too tired to deal with the incessant knocking. It just kept coming. It was probably your neighbor coming to tell you you left your lights on again. 

You swung the door open, wondering who could possibly be knocking with such carelessness at this time in the night.

Park Seonghwa.

You were immediately flooded with the same intimidated feeling you had on the night you met him. He looked like a model, maybe even a god, standing in your doorway. He ran his hand through his freshly shaved undercut and you took in the sight, unable to tear your eyes away. He looked just as stunning as you remembered—even more so. But something wasn’t quite right. He was swaying slightly, and as he spoke your name, the words were slightly slurred.

“Y/N… I-”

“Are you drunk?” 

“No… yes… maybe,” he laughed lightly before stumbling inside without an invitation. You knew enough to move out of his way. “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you.”

You froze. You’d never seen him so incoherent. You immediately recognized the smell lingering a bit too long in his breath as the expensive champagne he had poured for you in his penthouse that night.

“Seonghwa, how much did you drink?” you asked, voice laced with concern. You led him through your apartment to the couch, where he plopped himself down with an alarming amount of force. 

“Enough to know what I really want.” He looked up at you with sparkling eyes. “You.”

“You don’t know what you’re saying,” you said seriously. 

His eyes glimmered with lust. “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you. I want you to fuck me right here.”

This man was dangerous. And you didn’t mean in the mafia sense, although that was also true. You meant in the way he could completely ruin you if you let him. You had tried so hard to finally wipe him from your memory and move on, but you were stained with a constant desire to feel his touch again. You were finally moving on until now, when the desire surged back in, and it was like it had never left. 

“You’re drunk,” you said dismissively, doing your best to ignore the fact that you definitely wanted to fuck him, like right that second. “Let me get you a glass of water.”

His eyes looked heavy as he struggled to even hold the cup in his hands. His eyes were glued on you with the lust of a thousand horny teenage boys, but something about his hungry gaze felt comfortable to you, and you welcomed it. 

“You look like an angel,” he muttered softly. “You’re an angel sent from heaven to ruin me. I know you are.” You laughed as he seemed to get more incoherent. You glanced down at your oversized pajamas, wondering what he meant when he said you looked like an angel. “I missed you… I-I can’t get your body out of my head.”

You shook your head, trying to clear any desire you had out of your mind. He was way too drunk. “Shh, Seonghwa. Lay down.” 

You grabbed the water glass from his hand and handed him a blanket, guiding his shoulder gently down a laying down position on the couch. You settled in next to him, and he placed his head in your lap. Something about his current state felt incredibly vulnerable, and you’d never seen him like this. 

You petted his hair softly. He looked up at you with sad, sparkly, drunken eyes. “You’re pretty,” he said with a dorky smile. 

You chuckled. “You’re drunk.” 

He nodded, and his eyebrows furrowed suddenly. “I hate my father.”

You zipped your lips tightly, trying to give him room to continue. He still hadn’t spoken about his family since the first night at his house, and you wanted to take advantage of his drunken state. 

“He treats me like his puppet, but I’m nothing like him. I never asked for this. I just want to live a normal life for once.” You nodded, urging him to keep going. You didn’t want to ruin this moment of vulnerability. “You know those paintings… at my place, above the bar? Those are mine.”

“You bought them?”

“I painted them.”

You went silent. You couldn’t remember them in detail, but you remembered that they were beautiful, like they belonged in a museum. You kind of assumed they were stolen, to be honest.

“You painted those? All of them?”

“I’ve always wanted to be an artist.” He paused. “But I’m trapped being my father’s stupid fucking puppet. I’m supposed to take his position next year, but I don’t want it. I don’t want any of it. I’m so sick of the bar. He expects me to just sit there and keep his appearances for him. I’m sick of just drinking myself numb and fucking girls mindlessly.” 

Fucking girls mindlessly? Was he fucking you mindlessly?

“Girls like me?” He paused, trying to remember what he had just said. “You’re tired of fucking girls like me?”

“No…” he shook his head vigorously, realizing what he said. “You’re the only girl that has made me feel something... in a long time.”

Your cheeks went red hot. What was he admitting to you? His eyes were getting heavier, and so was his head, the heavy weight of his skull starting to crush your thighs. You stroked his hair a few more times and gently scooted out from under him, guiding his head down to the couch. 

“Get some sleep.”

You checked on Seonghwa immediately when you woke up. He was sitting upright on the couch where you left him last night, hunched over slightly, rubbing his temples. He raised his eyes as you walked in. “God, what happened last night? I feel like I got hit by a train.”

“What do you remember?”

“Drinking… and not much else.”

“Do you remember what you told me?”

He froze, the look in his eyes quickly transitioning from confusion to pure terror. “Oh god… what did I tell you?”

“Everything. About your family. Your paintings. You told me I was pretty.”

“Well, that last one I don’t regret,” he said, rubbing his temples harder. “Do you have like… some painkillers? Coffee maybe? God...”

“Wow, you really don’t get wasted much.”

He chuckled. God, you missed his laugh. “Takes a lot.”

You returned to him on the couch with a cup of coffee and some Ibuprofen. Something about giving him painkillers felt… wrong. As ridiculous as it sounded, by the way he carried himself, you would think he was almost invincible, like he didn’t even feel pain or something. You plopped yourself down next to him, and you talked for a while as he drowned his hangover with coffee. 

You made him breakfast, buttered toast and fried eggs, and suddenly you felt like a housewife. It was nice - you wished you could do this more often. He smiled at you around his toast, with his messy, tousled hair and tired eyes, and he almost looked human for once. As close as he ever could, at least. 

He wrapped his arms around your waist, thanking you for breakfast as he pressed his lips against yours. You melted against him, embracing him like your body was designed for it. You wanted to hold him close and never let go, and the idea of him never coming back was one you shoved deep into the back of your mind as you deepened the kiss. 

He pressed you against the counter, kissing you like your lips held the answers to all of his problems, and you kissed back like you knew how to solve them. His hands were warm as they slipped beneath the hem of your shirt, and you ran your fingers through his hair, soft and freshly cut. 

You dipped your fingers into the waistband of his pants, and his hands immediately tightened their grip on your waist, pulling you flush against him. Your hands sank further down, teasing your fingers over his cock through the fabric, and he groaned low in his throat. 

He pulled back suddenly, a concerned look growing on his face. “What time is it?”

You glanced at the clock. “11am. Why?”

“Shit. Fuck. I have to go.”

Damn it. It was just getting good.

“Will you come back?” you asked, a little too desperately. You flashed the puppy dog eyes you already knew he couldn’t resist. You didn’t realize just how much you had missed him until he was right in front of you, his hands all over your body. 

He sighed. “I mean, there’s no point in hiding anything from you anymore. I guess I laid everything out on the table when I burst in here drunk last night.”

“Is that a yes?”

“Yes. I’ll come back as soon as I can, I promise. I just have some… matters I need to attend to with my father.”

“Is that why you were drinking?”

“It’s not important,” he said dismissively, and suddenly you felt him building a wall again. You gave him one more soft kiss before he left. 

“Don’t let him get to you, okay? I’m always here if you want to talk about it.”

He gathered himself up quickly, glancing over his shoulder one last time before heading out. “Thanks.”

Over the next month, you dated in secret. Nothing was ever explicitly stated about the nature of your relationship, but he visited you almost every night, and you did everything together from dinners to movie nights on your couch to fucking on the kitchen counter. Well, mostly the last one. You weren’t sure if you could call him your boyfriend, but he would have been by anyone else's standards. 

Every day that passed you learned a little more about him. The thing you liked the best? He was secretly kind of a dork. Contrary to the serious and powerful image he put on to the outside world, his true nature was much softer and sweeter than you could have ever anticipated. You fell for him in the simplest tasks: the way he hummed while he washed the dishes, the way he cried a little when he laughed too hard, the stars that shined in his eyes when he discovered something new. You wondered if he had ever experienced such simple things before, things you took for granted - watching sitcoms at 2am, the pain of eating a little too much ice cream, the unadulterated joy of laughing over a bowl of cereal after a long night of sex. You’d watch his eyes sparkle at every new experience, and there was a part of you who really, really wanted to meet his father so you could punch him for ever depriving Seonghwa of a normal life. 

Even so, there were moments when he struggled to open up. There was something still so dark about him, mysterious, hidden. Even after experiencing his wide-eyed, almost childlike sense of wonder, you detected something still slightly sinister kindling within him -- something you would expect out of a mafia boss’ son. He kept a tight seal on the resentment inside, but you knew it was festering just under the surface. You had tried to get him to talk about it, but he evaded your questions each time. You wondered when he would finally boil over. 

A knock sounded at your door. Seonghwa, for your date. 

You opened the door with a sweet, expectant smile. “Seonghwa! Just in time, I was making-” The expression on his face caused you to pause. He looked frighteningly serious, more than he usually did, and that was saying something. You furrowed your brows. “What’s wrong?”

“We have to go right now. I can explain in the car. Get a bag together, only what you absolutely need.”

“Seonghwa what the f-”

His voice went completely dark, commanding as he spoke. “You’re in danger. We have to go. Now.” 

[sparklinpixiedust]

Okay so here are some things i would like to see in the next season of the reboot. (Keep in mind I've only seen a few episodes of the show and haven't gotten around to seeing the movie yet, just random clips of it so I apologise of it I misjudge something):

1. Gwen getting her powers.

I think its been long enough and she needs to get them soon. And I haven't heard of any anodite theories from the reboot( i may be wrong), so the whole 'magic' concept applies pretty well and this could maybe have a little supernatural twist to ben 10 as well. Hmm Or would that be too much?

2. Kevin.

From what I've seen and read , kevin doesn't get a proper ending in the movie. And Glitch dies??

Someone mentioned that kevin could salvage what remains of glitch and perhaps save him.

I mean we've all established at this point that kevin is a tech genius so I'm pretty sure he could do it.

it would be cool to for kevin to get his osmosian powers buuuut i dont think that could happen since its pretty clear at this point what direction the show is taking so its unlikely.

so I thought it would be pretty cool if kevin got powers like generator rex. He could manipulate himself into machines and that could be his power. He could like create his own nantites. I know glitch can already do things similar to that like the whole suit thing but the whole nanite thing seems more sophisticated than a giant chunky suit. ( i like things sleek and sophisticated )

Glitch could be ingrained into kevin as one like a chip or something,idk.

The problem is that glitch is ' alive 'though so that would be weird to have them share a body.

Hmm maybe glitch could be Kevin's car! Actually that makes more sense since glitch has been a buggy for most of the series.

And Kevin's car is a series icon.

And kevin could be inspired by glitch to make his 'nanites'.

Kevin's powers were mostly limited to absorbing rocks and metal in the original show anyway. Besides smashing things his powers didn't do much for the whole everyday missions (the whole amalgam thing aside since that was used only against aggregor once )

3. A little time lapse

They need to grow up a little. Maybe not 15-16 but atleast 13. They've spent too much time as 10.

4. The Team

Yeah this one is the most common thing everyone wants. The 3 musketeers need to be one again.

5. Episode run time

Episodes need their standard 22 min run time. I'm sorry I don't like the whole 11 min concept. It doesn't give time for the story to marinate well. Its like a kid having a sugar rush.

6. Gwevin!!!!

I need some fresh gwevin. I have read most of the fanfics stories already up everywhere and I read them over and over again. The relationship og relationship will always have a special place in my heart ,but it would be nice to have a newer perspective to their relationship.

All in all this show has LOTS of potential. I don't know what their plans are, I just hope its good. They are sitting on a gold mine at this point but if they start the whole retconning nonsense they did with the original im gonna scream.

[druddigoon]

Bederia Scraps

[au where darkest day never happens and bede becomes champion]

“Next up, two-time challenger Gloria Bauer has climbed through the finals to arrive at the top! For veteran’s of--”

The trainer at the other side of the stadium is a tiny silhouette amid a field of artificial green, rendered small and insignificant against the swell of the crowd. 

“--last year’s gym circuit, she had been a prime candidate for the championship, before being ousted by our current holder in the finals. Will--”

There’s something in her eyes. Looks familiar, somehow, but her face doesn’t spark a memory. A year’s worth of handshakes and the faces all blur together. The trainer might’ve been something, once. 

“--she have what it takes to avenge her loss? Or will--”

It doesn’t matter anymore. 

“--history repeat itself? Here he comes! Give--”

Chin up, back ramrod straight. Deep breaths, clothes tucked tight, makeup to cover the late night fatigue, not a thread or hair out of place. Appearance is everything here; the cameras are watching, the sponsors are watching, Rose is watching. 

“--it up for our current defending champion, Bede Cadieu!” 

Can’t fall now. 

---------------------

[a fic detailing bede’s soul-search after his disqualification, where he hitchhikes for several weeks alone]

1.

Good things never last. 

He’s known this long enough, frequently enough; should’ve learned by now too, but he was drawn towards promise like a moth to a flame, invincible with the sky in his wings until they were burning, burning, limestone shattered like graveyards at his feet. Too late, and he never learned. 

The first to leave was Rose. Oleana was the one that approached to take his possessions: league card, badge case, pockets full of wishing stones he’d been meaning to turn over to her, challenger’s outfit too if he hadn’t been wearing them under his coat. She stripped him of association, patting him down like she was searching for contraband. Would've taken his pokemon too, had he not bared his teeth in a desperate defiance when she reached for them, don’t she dare take his pokemon he will fight, they are all that I have left and I don’t care if there are witnesses they will not stop me, they are my everything I will fight. (Oleana’s hand retracts like whiplash, and she hurries after Rose’s departing figure.)

The second to leave was the scientist. She’d been poring over the monument, talking to anyone who cared to listen about the breakthrough in some sort of Galarian history. Important enough to send ripples through the scientific community, maybe, a paper published by a woman who’d been at the right place at the right time with no mention of the scapegoat. Collected her samples and left, eager to stake her claim.

The third to leave was Gloria. 

He didn't mean to remember her name, but it's stuck sometime between Hulbury and Galar Mine No 2, stuck hard and fast and never let go. Fitting, when she has been nothing but a burr to his side. Goliath, downed by a pebble of a no-name bug-catcher; he had everything to lose and she took this from him, took everything and still had the audacity to stand and look at him, something close to an apology in her eyes. Something almost like--

Sympathy. He hates the reprieve it makes him feel.

When she reaches out a tentative hand, he shoved roughly past her, into the throng of a curious crowd.

He was done watching his own funeral. 

(Later that day, his league-issue card was declined by the hotel services. Inane folly, he thinks, to hope that bureaucratic sluggishness would allow him to cash a couple more nights in--Rose never responded to anything of his this quickly before.)

----------------

[next two are an attempt at slice of life where bede meets people/pokemon in gloria’s life]

There's a saying among pokemon professions that in order to properly court a pokemon trainer, a suitor would have to appeal to two families: their parents, and their pokemon team. 

For Bede, Gloria's mum was easy. She had snuck into her daughter's loft for a "surprise visit" at six in the morning, only to stumble upon Bede passed out on her couch. Technically, they had come back from official league duties, too late for the corvitaxis to still be operating. Technically, said official league duties involved dealing with dangerous dynamax dens that are still cropping up in the Wild Area, all done under wraps to avoid inciting public panic. 

However, technicalities faltered against her skeptical look when the phrase "midnight excursions" slipped out of Bede's mouth. Whatever embarrassment he felt was eclipsed when Gloria left her room, still in pyjamas, only to choke on her yawn when she saw her visitor.

He prepared for the mythical shovel-talk he'd heard were a staple of pursuing a romantic relationship. He prepared for a shouting match, intruder, stranger, you don't belong anywhere near my daughter. Instead, he felt a gentle pat on his head (strange--Gloria liked to touch his hair too) as she told her barely coherent daughter that it's rude to make guests sleep on the couch.

She has a sense of humour, he'll give her that. He wouldn't mind calling her Mum too. 

"No, go away," Bede says to the monster hovering near his heels. "Bad, nasty bug. Go away."

Durant gives no indication that it hears him except for the little tilt of its head. It gingerly noses his pant leg, then, with mandibles that can snap his entire calf, nibbles at his ankles. Bede blanches. 

"Gloria, get your metal death machine away from me."

"Hmm?" Gloria's head peeks out from behind a steaming curry pot. "Awww, he likes you! Durant always wants to be everybody's friend. He wouldn't harm anyone outside of battles."

"I've seen him--" Bede bites back a wince as Durant digs its claws into its leg, trying to haul itself up. "--bring back huge sticks, only to snap them clean in half, accidentally, and sit down to whine over them. He's a hazard."

"Face it, you're only bitter because he one-shots your entire team. Relax, I've been training him to better control his strength, so you shouldn't have any unfortunate accidents." She leaves her curry to simmer as she makes her way towards him, disentangling the ant pokemon from his pants to carry like a doll. Durant nibbles at her chin, and Bede has a split-second panic attack at how his partner's face is held between its shearing jaws.

"Gloria, I love you, but..."

"Here." She grasps his hand and guides it to Durant, holding it still as antennae feel around. With a trill, Durant lifts its head to expose its neck. "Scratch him here, on the junction between the head and thorax. It's his favorite spot."

He does.

 The "chin area" is sleek and strangely warm. Durant's abdomen shakes almost like a wagging tail as it leans into his palm. 

Hard to believe something that can so mercilessly tear down battles with iron head and rock slide would be coming back for scritches. Gloria's watching the two of them with a small smile on her face, and suddenly he understands. Like pokemon, like trainer.

--------------------------

[misc. drabble]

“We’re both challengers, and I’ve just given you my card.” Bede holds out his hand in open expectation. “It’s polite to extend the same courtesy.” 

“Hmm? Oh!” The challenger in the green beret--he couldn’t remember her name for the life of him--looked up from his card and delicately stowed it away in the side pockets of her bag. “I don’t even think I have any copies of mine. Didn’t think I’d be trading them. Here.” 

She drops a chunk of cardstock in his hands. It looks like it's been tossed into a Roar of Time: edges fraying, ink chipped off, and a suspicious dark blot on the lower left corner. No signature, no name. Bede carefully maneuvers his fingers so he isn't touching the stain. 

"Do you have anything...newer than this."

"No. Um. That's my first card, actually. You keep it--I've heard originals sell for loads, enough to cover your losses for this battle." 

Of all things...cheeky bastard. She seems to know this too; a couple seconds into his shocked silence she bursts out laughing, walking off.

He flips the card in his hands. Challenger 227. Haphazardly dressed. Looks like she walked out of bed and into the photo booth. 

He still doesn't know her name.

[guqin-and-flute]

Hi Guq~ from the askbox, I'm intrigued about the 3zun+Jingyi fic, could we see a BEFORE THE BEGINNING — three sentences (or more) about something that happened before the plot of my current project ?

(Oh my god, Guq made me smile really big, I love that) Yessss, perfect, I had started something but this made me finish it! 

This is the night that Lan Xichen met A-Fu (Jingyi), after Wangji was punished after the Battle at the Nightless City. [CW: contains blood and mentions of death]

[Chapter 1] [Chapter 2] [Chapter 3] [Chapter 4]

[Ao3 Link]

There is a small child crying somewhere nearby. 

It shouldn’t be as distracting as it is. Wangji is stretched out on his belly, his back shredded and bleeding through the bandages at an alarming rate. There is the mystery child they had discovered unconscious on his bed when they bore Wangji back after his punishment--he is now curled up next to Wangji under the covers, pale and feverish.

Exhaustion lays flatly over Xichen with no poetry--so many dead; his uncle on the verge of qi deviation over Wangji’s behavior, over their massive losses in the combined slaughters of Qiongqi Way and the Nightless City, and over Wei Wuxian, who is dead--who had killed himself and torn apart the fragile pieces of his brother, so tenderly fastened to him. 

Xichen had been so afraid...so afraid that Wangji was going to follow him. Over the cliff or under the lashes. He is afraid now. Shakingly so.

 His eyes burn under the combined power of sheer sleeplessness, withheld grief, and the fact that he had fought for his life not 24 hours ago. Right now, they must be red rimmed, the lids sticking and heavy. He is no stranger to horrible circumstances. He is no stranger to distraction in the midst of trying to remain calm and focused. 

And yet the wailing of that nearby child is like a hook in his ribs and he cannot keep from turning toward it like some strange sea plant caught in a current, yearning toward the sun far above the murk. When he lays a hand on both of their foreheads, he finds Wangji and this child’s energy low and distant--they will not wake for hours but they are stable. Levering himself up to his feet, every muscle in his legs either shaking water or aches, he follows the sound.

It crescendos to a shrieking, hysterical pitch as he opens the door to one of the newer common houses they had constructed after the fires. He finds a handful of Juniors in a panic, wrangling upwards of a dozen children in various stages of distress. It is late, nearly midnight, far past standard Lan bedtimes and it shows on every temper-twisted face in the room. When the Juniors spot him, they freeze, then dip into frantic bows that some of the older children clumsily imitate as the murmur of, “Zewu-jun,” ripples through them underneath the wails. The screaming child is young, perhaps a year and a half old, red in the face and squirming so hard the girl holding him is having a hard time keeping her grip.

“We’re so sorry if we disturbed you, zongzhu,” she half-shouts over the din, desperately joggling the boy around in her arms, swaying on the spot. “We’re trying to get them to quiet down.”

“Are their parents….”

When he stops, unable to find the words he hopes for--or dreads--in the weary, dire mush that had become his mind, one of the boys hesitantly answers, “They all left for the Nightless City with you, Zewu-jun. Some have checked in and said they will collect them later. There must...I suppose there must have been a lot of injuries. No one has told us what’s going to happen.”

They’re scared. Lost.

Everything in disarray. Such a mess. He apologizes, praises their resilience, assures them someone will be by to arrange for more suitable accommodations. They bow and insist it was their duty and try not to look relieved.

The wailing child has reached the stage of hysterics where every ounce of his strength is going into each scream, petering out into the ominous silence of reached lung capacity, then a heaving gasp, and it starts all over again. The poor girl holding him is close to tears herself. 

Wangji had never cried loudly that he could remember. He would sit stock still, red faced and silent and shaking. When he was very young, he would let Xichen sidle up next to him and loop an arm around his shoulders, let him turn him into his chest until the front of his robes were covered in tears and snot, but he never let anything but gulps of air escape him. 

It had been so many years since Wangji had let Xichen hold him.

Xichen turns out his hands. “Here.”

“Zongzhu, I--” she half protests until the boy twists so mightily, a thrashing hand punches her straight in the throat. He is still a very young toddler, but toddlers possess the unique ability to channel their entire being into one single emotion and his is lung-crumpling upset. Rage. Fear. Hunger. Exhaustion. Desperation.

The child is no happier in Xichen’s arms, but his hold is sure, tucking the boy to his chest as he strokes the black fluff of sweat dampened hair. The screams are growing hoarse and rattle through Xichen’s chest. “Who are his parents?” He finds himself swaying slowly on the spot, still running his fingers through the child’s hair as he wails into Xichen’s shoulder, fists balled in his robes.

“Only his mother, zongzhu--Lan, uh, Lan Liu.”

Of all things from the past few days, this catches a squeezing in his throat as he nods. The memory of a crumpled form in the blood-churned muck, a shoe print between shoulder blades. A red tide across white. Too far, too slow. Alone. He lay his hand on the boy’s back, let his cries buzz through his palm. 

“His name?”

The girl, massaging her throat answers, “Lan Fu, Zewu-jun.”

“Someone is coming,” he assures the Juniors, reassures them all with a stretched smile. Relief at the idea of respite from the noise and responsibility is clear on every face. “Soon, you can rest. You have all done...so well.”

They bow and murmur him out again. He finds some Seniors, some Elders, some parents and directs them. They are too polite to grimace at the rule-breaking noise of the child in his arms. 

He walks with Lan Fu. His wails are rough, pitifully thin things, now. His hot, wet face is tucked into Xichen’s throat and the collar of his robe is sopping, but he walks and rubs his back and hums. Sometimes it’s nonsense, sometimes it’s songs of calming, and sometimes it’s the lullabies his mother had sung whenever he would nap in the Jingshi, soft and sweet. Screams to hiccups to whimpers to sniffles to silence. He is not asleep because Xichen can feel the cold brush of his eyelashes against his pulse. Every once in a while, he’ll heave a deep, shaky sigh.

“There, now. There we are.” It’s senseless crooning, but it seems to do him good. Perhaps it does both of them good, for he can’t seem to stop. “Deep breaths. That’s good, little one. You’re alright.”

Perhaps it’s a lie and perhaps it’s not what needs to be said, but just now, Xichen finds that he needs to believe it. “You’re alright,” he says again as he opens the door to the Jingshi.

It smells of metal, thick and cloying. There is blood on the bedclothes. Wangji is still and pale, but breathing, labored and shallow. He shifts Lan Fu to one arm, squeezing him when his fists tighten like little claws in the cloth. “You’re alright. I’m not leaving. I have you,” he whispers. 

He carefully lifts the mystery boy away from the slowly creeping red devouring the fabric, settling beside the bed to tuck him into his lap, nestled next to Lan Fu. They both radiate heat against the chill of the night like tragic little furnaces. He holds them as best he can as he lays his free hand on Wangji’s arm, letting the cool slip of spiritual energy flow into him. His eyes burn. His body aches. He finds himself rocking again, his cheek on Lan Fu’s head, his hand petting the hair of Wangji’s unconscious boy. “You’re alright,” he can’t seem to stop saying. “You’re going to be alright.”

[the-shepherd-of-fire]

What's your dream line up at the music fest?

Oo I have no idea how long this has been in my inbox but Ima do it because this sounds very fun.

I’ll do a Download Festival lineup as its the biggest rock one in the UK so i can do some big names and I love the place to death. I’ll try and keep it realistic too, so Im not going to bring anyone back from the dead or put a headliner in that couldn’t realistically headline. I’ll mostly stick to the main stage but will throw some other names around as well. Basically this is what I wanna see in 2023

Friday on the main stage will mostly be Metal with bands like Venom Prison and Sylosis to get the crowd nicely warmed up, going into Amon Amarth and Lamb of God to keep the pits flowing. 3rd Last I’d have Tenacious D to give the crowd a lil break and a laugh. The bois would be perfect late afternoon in the sunshine with some beers and can still go with a full band for songs like The Metal and Beezleboss. Main support definitely has to be Gojira, and this is essentially grooming them to headline in the next few years as the sun is starting to set. Big fat riffs mixed with progressive elements with one of the best live shows I have ever seen. Leading to Gojira’s heroes headlining the night: Metallica. Metallica ticks all the boxes for headliner, old enough to be a massive draw, but can still perform at a high level - and also I haven’t seen them live yet and really want to. They can bring on some younger guest stars to help put them over as well like Joe from Gojira and Joakim from Sabaton (we’ll get to them later). Lower stage highlights include Corey Taylor, doing an acoustic set and then pop punk bands on the 2nd stage like Bowling for Soup, Neck Deep and A Day to Remeber headlining. 

Saturday is all about the future of the festival and at the moment that has to be Bring Me the Horizon, no other heavy band has the drawing power or the fanbase in the UK yet and sure people will moan but they can fuck off and watch Dying Feutus, Cannibal Corpse and then Behemoth headlining the 2nd stage which admittedly would be sick. The someone like Whitesnake headlining the 3rd to keep the old fogies happy as well. Can start off on the main with some young, fantastic bands like Lotus Eater, Blood Youth and Dream State to start off hot. While She Sleeps can properly show the world why they are of the best british bands out there and bring Oli down for Silence speaks to build the hype for later. 2nd Support from Killswitch Engage for some older legitimacy and can bring Howard Jones in for The Signal Fire and probably The End of Heartache as well as he’d be playing with Light The Torch and SION across the weekend. Main support is Architects, they’re already playing arenas, have proved with their latest album that they can go beyond Metalcore and I think it’s about damn time. Then finally as mentioned Bring me to close the night, they have a huge back catalogue to chose from and there really will be something for everyone, deathcore Prey for Plagues, anthems in Happy Song and Shadow Moses and whatever the fuck Kingslayer is with Babymetal (again more on them later).

Sunday I just want to feel like a fever dream, a blissful experience you can look back on and hardly imagine it was real, start off with some folk and power metal with Eluveitie and Gloryhammer to start off, keep that energy going with Powerwolf in their paint and into Alestorm for some wacky comedic relief while still being metal as fuck when they want to be. Next Sabaton reveal a giant tank under the massive duck that Alestorm brought as the beer is flowing nicely in the mid afternoon. Hell even of it rains it’ll probably add to most of the sets. Now going full fever dream is Babymetal on at 2nd Support, some people dont get it, but I just love the massive riffs juxtaposed with the angelic voice of Su-metal and the cerography as well. As dusk starts to creep in Nu metal rears its ugly head in Korn, bringing fat riffs, weird noises and even dubstep to the party. Finally to cap off a mad fucking day, what better way to end it than with the weirdest but one of the best live shows going: Rammstein. Fire can shoot out of the towers, Til can get his wings out and even the old fogies cant argue with Rammstein. 

TL;DR - Metallica + Bring Me The Horizon and Rammstein to headline, while I haven’t seen any of these bands yet and thats a big reason I want them, it also makes a lot of sense. Download need to phase in newer headliners while still keeping that older audience happy otherwise they risk the long term future of the festival. 

Agree? Disagree? Or give me a band and I’ll say if they could fit on my lineup or not, hell I may even make a poster down the line as this really got me thinking.

[love-pyramus]

hi.

you're on a rock floating in space.

pretty cool, huh?

some of it's water.

fuck it, actually most of it's water.

i can't even get from here to there without buying a boat.

it's sad.

i'm sad.

i miss you.

how did this happen?

a long time ago, actually never, and also now, nothing is nowhere.

when?

never.

makes sense, right?

like i said, it didn't happen.

nothing was never anywhere.

that's why it's been everywhere.

it's been so everywhere you don't need a where.

you don't even need a when.

that's how every it gets.

forget this.

i wanna be something.

go somewhere.

do something.

i want things to change.

i want to invent time and space.

and i know it's possible because everything is here and it probably already happened.

i just don't know when to start.

and that's exactly where it started.

whoah, i paused it.

i think there's a universe now.

what's it made of?

quarks & stuff

ah, that's a thing.

in a place.

don't like it?

try a new place.

at a different time™.

try to stick together, because the world is gonna get bigger.

and emptier.

but it's not empty yet.

it's still very full, and about a kjghpillion degrees.

great news!

the quarks are now happily married, in groups of three called a proton or a neutron

and there's something else flying around too that wants to join in but can't cause it's still too

HOT

great news!

the protons and neutrons are now happily married to each other.

and some of them even doubled up.

great news, the electrons have now joined in

congratulations, the world is now a bunch of gas in space.

but it's getting closer together.

and it's getting closer together.

and it's getting closer toge-

it's a star

new shit just got made!

some stars burn out and die.

bigger stars burn out and die with passion, and make some brand new, way crazier shit.

space dust

which allows newer, more interesting stars to be made, and then die, and explode into

even crazier space dust

so now stars have cool stuff around them, like rocks, ice, and funny clouds, which can make some very interesting things.

like this ball of flaming rocks for example.

holy shit, we just got hit with another ball of flaming rocks.

and it kind of made a mess.

which is

now the moon

weather update:

it's raining rocks from outer space.

weather update:

those rocks might have had water inside them, and now there's hot steam in the sky.

weather update:

cooler temperatures today, and the floor is no longer lava.

weather update:

it's raining.

severe flooding alert:

the entire world is now an ocean.

volcano alert:

that's land!

there's life in the ocean

what?

something's alive in the ocean

oh cool, like a plant or an animal?

no, a microscopic speck.

it lives at the bottom of the ocean and eats chemical soup, which is being served hot and fresh, made from gnarly space ingredients left over from when it was raining rocks or whatever.

oh yeah, and it can do that.

it has secret instructions written inside itself telling it how to build another one of itself.

so that's pretty nifty, i would say.

tired of living at the bottom of the ocean?

now you can eat sunlight!

using a revolutionary technique, you can convert sunlight into food

taste the sun

side effect: now there's oxygen everywhere and the sky's blue.

then the earth might have been a snowball for a while, maybe even a couple of times.

it's a sponge.

it's a plant.

it's a worm, and some other types of weird strange water bugs and strange fish.

it's the Cambrian explosion

"wow, that's animals and stuff"

but we're still in the ocean, hey, can we go on land?

no

why?

the sun is a deadly lazer

oh okay.

not anymore, there's a blanket

now the animals can go on land.

come on, animals, let's go on land!

nope, can't walk yet.

and there's no food yet, so i don't care.

ok, will you learn to walk if there's plants up here?

maybe, said some bugs, and fish.

ok, so i can go on land, but i have to go back in the water to

have babies

learn to use an egg.

i was already doing that.

use a stronger egg.

put water in it.

have a baby, on land, in an egg.

water is in the egg.

baby, in the egg, in the water, in the egg.

works for me.

bye bye ocean

and now everything's huge.

including bugs.

wanna see a map of the land?

sure.

oh fuck, now everything's dead.

just kidding, here are the survivors.

keep your eye on this one because it's about to become the dinosaurs.

here's another map of the land.

yeah, it broke apart, don't worry about it, it does that all the time.

here comes a meteor.

and the dinosaurs are gone

it's mammal time, here come the mammals.

look at those breasts.

now they're gonna dominate the world and one of them just learned how to grab stuff.

and walk.

no, like, walk like that.

and grab stuff at the same time.

and bang rocks together to make pointed rocks.

"ouch"

and set things on fire.

"yeouch"

and make crazy sounds with their voice.

"gneurshk"

which can mean different things.

that's a human person

and now they're everywhere.

almost.

ice age

what, you can walk over here?

cool.

not anymore

well i guess we're stuck here now.

let's review.

there's people on the planet.

and they're chasing their food.

fuck it, time to plant some grass.

look at this.

i control the food now.

now everyone will want to be my friend and live near me.

let's all build houses except mine is bigger because i own the food.

this is great, i wonder if anyone else is doing this.

tired of using rocks for everything?

use metal.

it's underground.

better farming was just invented, in a sweet dank valley right in between these two rivers.

and the animals are helping.

guess what happens next

more food.

and more people who came to buy the food.

now you need people to help make the food and keep track of the sales.

and now you need houses for people to live in and people to make the houses, and now there's more people and they invent things, which makes things better and more people come and there's more farming and more people to make more things for more people and now there's business, money, writing, laws, power.

Society

coming soon to a dank river valley near you.

meanwhile, out in the middle of nowhere, the horse is probably being tamed.

why is all my metal so lame and lumpy?

tired of using lame, sad metal?

introducing

Bronze

made with special ingredient tin from the far lands of tin land.

i don't know, my dealer won't tell me where he gets it.

also, guess what?

egypt

meanwhile, out in the middle of nowhere, they figured out how to put wheels on a horse.

now we're getting somewhere.

also

china

and did i mention

indus river valley civilization

norte chico

the middle east is getting more complicated, maybe because it's in the middle of the east.

knock knock, er, clop clop.

it's the people with the horses.

and they made an empire.

and then everyone else copied their horses.

greeks

ah look, it must be the greeks, er, a beta version of the greeks.

let's check in with the indus river valley civilization.

they're gone.

guess who's not gone?

china

new arrivals in india, maybe it's those horse people i was talking about, or their cousins or something

and they wrote some hymns and mantras and stuff

you could make a religion out of this.

there's the bronze age collapse.

now the phoenicians can get down to business

also, can we switch to a metal that's a little easier to find?

thanks.

look who came back to israel, it's the twelve tribes of israel.

and they believe in God

just 1 though, he's got like a ten step program.

here's some huge heads.

must be the olmecs.

the phoenicians make some colonies.

the greeks copy their idea and make some colonies.

the phoenicians made a colony so big it makes colonies.

here comes the assyrian empire.

never mind, it's the babylonian- median-

it's the Persian Empire

"wow, that's big"

ah, the buddha was just enlightened.

who's the buddha?

this guy, who sat under a tree for so long that he figured out how to ignore the fact that we're all dying.

you could make a religion out of this.

oops, china just broke, but while it was breaking, confucius was figuring out how to have good morals.

ah, the greeks just had the idea of thinking about stuff.

and right over here, alexander just had the idea of conquering the entire persian empire.

it's a great idea.

he was great.

and now he's dead.

hopefully the rest of the gang will be able to share the empire evenly between them.

knock knock, it's chandragupta, he says get the hell out of here.

will you get the hell out of here if i give you 500 elephants?

ok thanks, bye

time to conquer all of india

or

most of india

but what about this part?

that's the tamil kings, no one conquers the tamil kings.

who are the tamil kings?

merchants, probably

and they've got spices

who would like to buy the spices?

me, said the arabians, swiftly buying it and selling it to the rest of the world.

hey, china put itself back together again, with good morals as their main philosophy.

actually, they have three main philosophies.

out here, the horse nomads run wild and free, and they would like to ransack your city.

let's check the greekification levels of the greekified kingdoms.

greekification overload!

bye, said the parthians.

bye, said the jews.

hi, said the parthians, taking over the entire place.

heyyyyyyyy, said the romans, eating the entire mediterranean for breakfast.

thanks for invading our homeland, said the jews, who were starting to get tired of people invading their homeland.

hi, everything's great, said some guy who seems to be getting very popular and is then arrested and killed for being too popular, which only makes him more popular.

you could make a religion out of this.

want silk?

now you can buy it from china.

they just made a

brand new road to the world

or you can

get there on water

sick! new trade routes! said india, accidentally spreading their religion to the entire southeast.

hmm, that's a good place for an epic trading kingdom.

there goes buddhism traveling up the silk road.

i wonder if it'll reach china before it collapses again.

remember the persian empire?

yep, said the persians, making a new one.

axum is getting so powerful they would like to build a long stick.

has anyone populated madagascar yet?

let's do it together.

china is whole again

then it broke again

still can't cross the sahara desert?

try camels.

hell yeah! now we've got business

said the ghana empire, selling lots of gold, and slaves

hi, i live in the roman empire, and i was wondering

is loving jesus legal yet?

no.

actually, ok, sure, said constantine, moving the capital way over here to be closer to his

main rival

don't worry about rome, it won't fall.

it's the golden age of india

there's the gupta empire, not chandragupta, just gupta.

first name chandra.

the first.

guess who's in rome?

barbarians

what's a barbarian?

non-romans, said the romans, being invaded by non-romans.

r.i.p., roman empire, er, actually just half of it, the other half is just fine, but it's not in rome anymore so let's give it a new name.

the mayans have figured out the stars

oh and here's a huge city, population: everyone

the göktürks have taken over the entire eurasian steppe.

great job, göktürks.

how's india?

broken.

how's china?

back together

how's those trading kingdoms?

bigger, and there's more of them

korea has 3 kingdoms.

japan has a kingdom, it's the sunrise kingdom.

deep in the arabian desert, on the top of a mountain, the real god whispers in muhammed's ear.

so he goes down to the cube where everyone worships gods and he tells them their gods are all fake.

and everyone got so mad at him that he had to leave town and go to a different town.

you could make a religion out of this.

and maybe conquer the world as well.

the roman empire is long gone, but somehow the pope is still the pope.

plus there's

new kingdoms all over europe

i wonder if there's room for moors.

here's all the wisdom.

in a house.

it's the baghdad house of wisdom.

just in time for the

islamic golden age

let's bring stuff to the coast and sell it, and become the swahili on the swahili coast, said the swahili on the swahili coast.

remember this tiny space you have to go through to get from here to there?

someone owns that now.

wanna get enlightened in the middle of nowhere?

the franks have the biggest kingdom in europe, and the pope is so proud that he invites the king over for christmas.

surprise! you're the new roman emperor, said the pope, pretending to still be part of the roman empire.

then the franks broke their kingdom into what will later be called france and not france.

but the northerners, or just norse if you don't have much time, are exploring.

they go north, from the north to the northern north.

and they find some land.

two types of land.

and they name them accordingly.

they also invade some other places, and get called many names, such as vikings.

there's the rus.

the kievan rus.

are they vikings?

i don't think so, said the kievan rus.

ok, fair enough.

the pope is ready to make some more emperors.

of the "roman empire".

the holy roman empire.

it's actually germany but don't worry about it.

new kingdoms.

christianize all the kingdoms

which brand would you like?

mine's better.

mine's better.

mine's better.

time to conquer england, said william.

it's a bird, it's a plane

it's the seljuk turks

aah! said the byzantine empire who's getting so small and almost doesn't exist anymore.

we need help!

they need help, so they call the pope.

hey pope, can you help us get rid of the seljuks?

maybe take back the holy land on the way?

come on, i know you want to take back the holy land.

yes, i do actually want to do that.

let's do a crusade.

crusade

they did many crusades, some of which almost didn't fail.

but at least the italians got some sweet trade deals.

goodbye mayans.

hello toltecs

goodbye toltecs.

hello mississippi

look at those mounds.

there's the pueblo.

i always wondered how to build a town in a cliff.

guess who's here?

khmer.

where?

here.

and pagan is there.

vietnam unconquered itself, korea just became itself, and japan is so addicted to art that the military might have to take over the government.

china just invented bombs, and typing.

and the mongols just invaded most of the universe.

nice going, Genghis!

i bet that will last a long time.

some of the islamic turks were unaffected by the mongol invasions because they were busy invading india.

is it tonga time?

i think it's tonga time.

i just found out where the swahili gets all their gold.

look at this chad.

means "lake".

there's an empire there.

right in the middle of

Africa

the king of mali is so rich he's going on tour to let everyone know.

wow, that guy's rich, everyone said.

the christians are doing a great job reconquering iberia, which will soon be called spain and not spain.

please remain christian.

we will check in later to see if you're still christian when you least expect.

whoops, half of europe just died.

ming

china's back, yay!

hey khmer, time to share.

new kingdoms here and there.

oh, look who controls all the islands.

it's the mahajapit.

majahapit.

mapajahit.

mahapajit.

mapajahit.

majapahit?

oh, italy's really rich, time for them to care a lot about art and the ancient classics.

it's kinda like a rebirth.

here's a printer.

let's make books.

so you think you can conquer the byzantine empire?

yep, said the ottoman turks.

nice job, ottoman turks.

whoops, you missed a spot.

don't forget to ban europe from the indian spice trade.

what? that's bullshit, said portugal, spiceless.

well i guess we'll have to find another way to india

wait! said christopher columbus, probably smoking crack.

if the world is round, let's go this way to india.

nah, don't worry, we already got this, said portugal.

so chris goes to spain.

hey spain, wanna hire me to find india by going around back of the world?

no.

please?

no.

please?

no.

please?

ok.

so he sails into the ocean.

and discovers more ocean.

and then discovers the indies.

and japan.

let's draw a line to decide who gets which half of the world.

the aztec and inca empires are off to a great start.

i wonder if they know that europe just discovered their continent?

the habsburgs are marrying into so many royal families they might have to start marrying each other.

move over lithuania, here comes moscow.

ivan wants to make russia great again.

move over timurids, maybe go invade india or something.

persia just made persia persian again.

let's make it the other kind of islam.

the one where we thought the first guy should have been the other guy.

hey christians!

do you sin?

now you can buy your way out of hell.

that's bullshit.

this whole thing is bullshit.

that's a scam.

fuck the church.

here's 95 reasons why, said martin luther, in his new book, which might have accidentally started the protestant reformation.

you know what would be magnificent, said suleiman, wearing an onion hat?

what if the ottoman empire was really big?

which it is now.

what if russia was big? said ivan, trying not to be terrible.

portugal had a dream that they controlled the entire indian ocean, including the spice trade.

and then that dream was real.

and spain realized that this is not india, but they pillaged it anyway.

damn, said england and france.

we gotta start pillaging some stuff.

then the dutch revolt and all the hipsters move to amsterdam.

damn, said amsterdam.

we gotta start pillaging some stuff.

question 1: can you get to india through north america?

no, but at least there's beaver.

question 2: steal the spice trade.

that's not a question, but the dutch did it anyway.

sugar

guess where all the sugar's made?

in brazil.

stolen

and the caribbean.

and it's so god damn profitable you might forget to not do slavery.

the next thing on russia's to-do list is to get bigger.

britain and france are having a friendly discussion about who should control the entire world.

more specifically, ohio.

then it escalates into a seven year discussion, giving prussia a chance to show austria who's boss.

but what about britain and france, did they figure out who's boss?

yes they did.

it's britain.

guess who's broke?

also britain.

so they start taxing the hell out of america.

fuck you, says america, declaring their independence, and fighting for it.

and france helps them win, now france is broke.

and britain'll have to send their prisoners to a different continent.

wait, if france is broke, why do the king and queen still wear such fancy dresses?

let's overthrow the palace and cut all their heads off! said robespierre, cutting everybody's head off until someone eventually got mad and cut his head off.

you could make a reli- no, don't.

haiti is staring to like the idea of a revolution.

especially the slaves, who free themselves by killing their masters.

why didn't we think of this before?

wait, who's in charge of france now?

me

said napoleon, trying to take over europe.

luckily, they banished him to an island.

but he came back

luckily, they banished him to another island.

there goes latin america, becoming independent in the latin american wars of independence.

britain just figured out how to turn steam into power.

so now they can make

many different types of machines and factories with machines in them so they can make a lot of products real fast

then they invent some trains.

and conquer india and maybe put some trains there.

hey, china! said britain.

buy stuff from us!

nah dude, we already got everything, says china.

so britain tried to get them addicted to opium.

which worked, actually.

but then china made it illegal and dumped it all into the sea.

so britain threw a hissy fit, and made them open up five cities and give them an island.

britain and russia are playing a game where they try to stop each other from conquering afghanistan.

also, the

sultan of oman lives in zanzibar now

"that's just where he lives"

india just had a revolution, and they would like to govern themselves now.

nope, said britain, governing them even harder than before.

technology is about to go crazy

the united states finally figured out whether slavery is good or bad.

it's bad, they decided.

and then they continued manifesting their destiny, which is to kill the rest of the natives and take their land and maybe kick out the mexicans too.

i know, let's rape africa, said europe, scrambling to see who could rape it the fastest.

they never got ethiopia

britain and france are still hungry.

they never got thailand

the united states ran out of destiny to manifest, so they're looking for more.

hawaii

cuba

wait, spain controls cuba.

well, blame something on them and go to war!

what should we blame on spain?

let's blame the maine on spain.

so they blame the maine on spain.

now we're in business.

to celebrate, they kick panama out of panama and make a canal, connecting the two oceans.

britain just found oil in the middle east.

it makes cars go

china is so tired of being bossed around that they delete their old government and make a new, stronger government, which is accidentally weaker and controlled by a guy from the previous government.

europe hasn't had a war since the last war.

so they start world war 1.

look at those guns.

it's gonna be a great war.

so great we won't need a second one.

after it's over, they blame germany.

russia went on strike and the workers overthrew the government.

now everyone's paycheck is the same.

communism

in the soviet union

the arabs revolt and britain helps.

now the ottoman empire's gone so we can give the

jewish people a place to live

hopefully the arabs won't mind.

let's cut the cake, said sykes and picot, carving up the remains of the not-so-ottoman-anymore empire.

except turkey, turkey makes a brand new turkey

and then the saudis conquer arabia.

it just seemed like the right thing to do.

hello?

yes, it's the 1920's calling.

let's get in the car and drive to a party and listen to jazz on the radio and go to the movies.

the economy's great and it'll probably be great forever, just kidding.

germany's back, featuring hitler, the angry mustache model.

and he's mad at the jews for existing.

japan is finally conquering the east, and they're so excited they rape nanking way too hard.

they should probably just deny it.

hitler's out of control.

so the international community tackles him and then tries to explain why killing all the jews is a bad idea.

but he kills himself before they could explain it to him.

that's world war 2

bonus round!

pacific showdown.

united states vs. japan.

fight!

finish him

let's unite all the nations and have some

world peace

seems legit.

hi, i'm gandhi, and if britain doesn't get the hell out of india, i'm gonna starve myself in public.

wow, that worked?

bonus, now there's pakistan.

actually two pakistans.

one of them can be bangladesh later.

the jews and the arabs finally figured out which one of them should live in the holy land.

me, they both said at the same time.

let's divide up the land so everyone's happy.

sike, they both get angrier

look out china, there's a new china in china.

what's on the menu?

communism!

no thanks, said the other china, escaping to an island.

i wonder which one is the real china?

there's the korean war, korea versus korea.

nobody wins, then it's on pause forever.

let's meet the sponsors.

oh, it's the two global superpowers.

they're having a friendly debate over which economic system is good, and which one is an evil virus of Satan.

and they both have atom bombs.

fight!

wait, no, that would be the end of the world.

let's just keep it cool and spy on each other instead.

and make sure we have enough atom bombs.

i'll race you to space.

now let's make some more countries fight themselves.

europe is tired of pillaging other continents, so the continents they were pillaging are tired of being pillaged.

so here's a new map, with new countries.

now you can't tell who they're being pillaged by.

the united states finally decided whether racism is good or bad.

they decided it's bad, and the world agrees.

south africa might need another minute to think about it.

let's check the world population.

whoa.

okay.

technology's better too, that might keep happening.

the soviet union decides to relax a little, and accidentally falls apart.

europe makes a union, so now they can all use the same money, except britain, because they don't feel like it.

let's check the mail.

surprise, it's on the computer.

whoops, someone just attacked america.

i bet they'll remember that.

phone call.

surprise, it's in your pocket.

wanna learn everything?

surprise, it's on the computer.

now your phone's a computer, which is in your pocket.

whoops, the economy just crashed.

don't worry, the big banks won't fail because they're not supposed to.

surprise!

flying robots.

with bombs.

wanna print a brain?

some people have no friends.

some people have no food.

the globe is warming

and the ocean is full of plastic

let's save the planet! said everybody, not knowing how.

let's invent a thing inventor, said the thing inventor inventor, after being invented by a thing inventor.

that's pretty cool.

by the way, where the hell are we?

[doomedandstoned]

The End Is Nigh: A Conversation With OFFICIUM TRISTE Frontman Pim Blankenstein

~By Shawn Gibson~

I was first introduced to OFFICIUM TRISTE when Mors Viri came out in 2013 and I have been a fan ever since! At the time, I had a radio show and got an email from HammerHeart Records with promo and played some songs off of that album.

The Dutch band's music has also pushed me through tough times, mentally and emotionally. There is sadness in their songs, as there is great beauty. Each song has its own dynamic sound with piano, organs, violins, cellos, etc. Officium Triste's albums are heavy as mountains, but have parts within that soar like eagles!

Recently, I had the privilege of longtime singer Pim Blankenstein, who has been with the band since 1994.

Mors Viri by Officium Triste

Officium Triste has been making music since 1994! How does that feel to be with this band now and the current state of affairs?

It feels as exciting as it was when we started out. Of course, a lot has changed in 25 years, but for us as a band our values are still the same. We love slow, heavy and melodic music and we still write this kind of music. Over the years we of course have grown as a band and you keep learning. After the last couple of line-up changes I totally feel this is the best line-up we've had. We're all on the same page and actually things couldn't be better.

What does the name Officium Triste mean?

If you put it in Google translate, it says it means the baleful. Back when we started out our then guitarist Johan Kwakernaak came up with the name, which he got from a Latin dictionary. The combination of words means something like a "sad gathering," such as a funeral.

You are from the Netherlands right? What are some other bands from the Netherlands you guys love?

Yeah, we are from the Netherlands and when we started out there were quite some doom bands we dug like early The Gathering, Celestial Season, Castle or Beyond Belief. Having said that, the doom scene never was that big but we always had killer bands. Just think of Deinonychus or newer acts like Facade, Treurwilg or Beyond Our Ruins.

In other genres we have (and had) great bands, too. Death metal was especially huge. Pestilence, Pentacle, Asphyx, Sinister, Thanatos, Severe Torture, Bodyfarm, Gorefest. I could go on and on. Bottomline is that the Dutch scene always has been and still is great. We know quite a lot of bands personally and we get along real fine.

We are all Doomed! Are you Stoned?

Nope. Used to smoke a lot. Not anymore though. But that doesn't change the fact we indeed are doomed!

The Death of Gaia (Atmospheric Death/Doom Metal) by OFFICIUM TRISTE (Netherlands)

Your latest album 'The Death Of Gaia' came out December 13 2019. What has influenced the writing of this album?

As far as the music is concerned, our core values are still present, which is writing slow, heavy, melodic and melancholic music. I like to say we are still inspired by the bands that showed us the way in the '90s, like Paradise Lost, Anathema, Katatonia or Type O Negative. Along the way, also a band such as Shape Of Despair inspired a bit but also film scores, shoegaze or dream pop.

Lyrics are about subjects such as the decline of our planet, loneliness, insomnia, guilt, and stuff like that -- basically what is happening around us. So the reality of life inspired us in that department.

Throughout the years of your albums there is always great range and depth of song with varied instruments. Are there any instruments you haven't used yet, but would love to include in a song?

From a personal perspective, I'd like to include some percussive elements. I can totally imagine us using some proper timpani for that ultimate heavy sound.

Who did the artwork for 'The Death Of Gaia'?

When we figured out we wanted something different as artwork on this album and moved away from our earlier art, we got in touch with Chris Smith of Grey Aria Design from the US. We liked what he had done for Solstice from the UK and we really wanted that Art Nouveau-type art. Chris totally delivered what we were after.

Art by Chris Smith/Grey Aria Design

What makes you guys laugh?

We actually laugh a lot. We get along really well and joke around a lot making fun of each other. Other than that we are totally into dark, sarcastic humour. Or stand-up comedians like Steve Hughes of Jim Jefferies. Writers like Bukowski or Brusselmans (a Belgian writer). Ren & Stimpy, Pinky & The Brain, Invader Zim. There's plenty of stuff that makes us laugh.

What has been an awkward moment for Officium Triste?

Probably being too drunk on stage in our early years could be considered as awkward. Other than that, not much. Maybe some awkward moments on behalf of our previous bass player, but I won't get into details on that because it's better to let that rest.

You have a long history of making death doom and are in the same boat as other established bands such as My Dying Bride, Katatonia, Paradise Lost. What is in the future for Officium Triste? Will there be another 25 years?

Well, we take it as it is. Our current label Transcending Obscurity is quite happy with us it seems and has been asking if we want to do another album for them. We are gathering new song ideas as we speak, so you can expect another album in the future. Not sure if we'll last another 25 years, as we will be considered as elderly people by then. As long as we're having fun we keep doing what we like to do.

Who is in the band Officium Triste and what do they do in the band?

Right now it is the founding members Martin Kwakernaak on keyboards. He used to be our drummer, too. Gerard de Jong on lead guitars and I (Pim Blankenstein) on vocals. We have Niels Jordaan on drums, William van Dijk on rhythm guitars and Theo Plaisier on bass.

With the varied sounds in your music do you have several session players to record? Sometimes it sounds like you have a symphony accompanying your music!

Actually, this time around we used some session musicians. We decided to record some real string instruments, as opposed to using the sounds from the keyboard, so we asked Chris Davies to record violins. We knew Chris from Eye Of Solitude where he used to play bass and he played violins with Clouds, in which I am involved, too, in a way. He did a great job. On cello we asked Eliane Anemaat. She is quite known for her work with bands, such as Celestial Season, Mayan or Delain. She also did an outstanding job.

What are some bands from the beginning that have influenced Officium Triste? Who are some current bands that catch your attention?

I more or less mentioned some bands in an earlier answer, but we initially were heavily influenced by Paradise Lost, Anathema, Celestial Season, My Dying Bride, Katatonia, and Type O Negative. But also Metallica, Edge Of Sanity, Dismember or Winter influenced us to some extent. Later on, also bands such as Evoken, Mournful Congregation or Shape Of Despair impressed us. Currently, there's not a lot of bands that caught our attention and actually had an impact on us, but we do like bands that mix things up like what In Solitude, Tribulation, Alcest or Chapel Of Disease are doing, to name just a couple.

Film by Buzau Live Music

Beyond doom and death, what other music styles do you like and listen to?

We listen to quite a lot of varied stuff. Like heavy metal, classic rock, shoegaze, indie rock, new wave, movie scores, retro wave. As long as it is good music we listen to it.

Will you ever tour in the states?

Hopefully. If we ever get a proper invitation and stuff is sorted out, well we definitely would like to come. We are crossing the Atlantic in a couple of months to play a one-off in Mexico.

For me, I have felt positive things from the lyrics and the heavy music amidst the doom. I guess its nice to be able to relate to songs and feel the music with your soul. The balance of heavy and almost symphonic and atmospheric music still blows my mind! Officium Triste is one of very few with clean vocals accompanying death growls I love. Most clean vocals fuck me up.

Cheers for that!

"Burning all Boats and Bridges" is my jam! Fuck it all and starting clean! My life has to take another turn! A fresh start is what I yearn for! Please tell me a little about this song.

Actually, this song is basically the only one where we could use music provided by our previous bass player. But since he fucked things up I have a hard time listening to this particular track. I did write the lyrics, though, and I usually start with a song title. I'm not sure where I got it from, but the lyrics are about having a fresh start and cut all ties with your past. It's not something that happened to any of us personally. But I guess everyone can relate to the subject, so I wrote lyrics about this.

"The End Is Nigh." Do you think this song is relevant to current world events?

That's what inspired it. But to be honest, this world has been a shithole for centuries. So, when I wrote the lyrics I did think about the current state of affairs, as well as stuff from the past. I think everyone can decide for themselves what we talk about, whether it is politics, the environment or overpopulation. It all goes hand in hand, in a way. For the lyrics, I took the Four Horsemen of The Apocalypse as a metaphor. And the second song on the album World In Flames continues with the subject.

Pim, thank you very much for your time! It is a pleasure and an honor!

Thank you, Shawn, for the interview. Much appreciated. Hope your readers will check us out if they haven't done so yet.

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[baphelon]

My top 20 albums of the Decade

This decade has been really important in shaping my taste of music from generic and boring power and viking/folk metal stuff into something more refined and nuanced. So I decided to make a list with some of my favorite albums from the 2010s for you guys to check out!

First some general notes before we’re ready to get goin under the cut:

This list is purely based on my opinion and my opinion alone

There will be a big chunk of honorable mentions in alphabetical order at the end because there are simply too many albums important to me in this decade so check these mentions out aswell since they also include a more diverse cast of genres than the main list!

I decided to exclude Mgła completely from this list allthough Exercises in Futility (2015) might’ve earned a spot. I simply cannot support this band anymore in light of recent controversies regarding their close connections with far right musicians and neo nazis.

I’ll provide explanations aswell as links to a song for each of the listed albums to give a taste of what each entry is about. If you still have question about any of the entries just shoot me a message or comment!

🤡 Also a huge applause for Batushka for being the absolute clowns of the metal scene this decade! What a shitshow they’ve given us! 🤡

20. King Gizzard & the Lizard Wizard - Paper Mâché Dream Balloon (2015)

Paper Mâché Dream Balloon is a very fun, very relaxing and all around enjoyable album by the psychedelic rock masterminds of King Gizzard. Give it a listen at a nice afternoon with a cup of hot cocoa or tea, you’ll not regret it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RobhSr2bozU

19. Portal - Vexovoid (2013)

Vexovoid is a chaotic mess of an experimental Death Metal record. Its dark, brooding and bizarre aswell as interesting, genuinly scary and amazing. Portal mix breathtakingly weird sounds with harsh vocals and complicated rhythmic structures. Certainly not for everyone but definetly for me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7rj92VOWM5Y

18. Borknagar - Urd (2012)

Melodic, cathartic, progressive and melancholic.Urd is a well rounded progressive Black Metal masterpiece with some very unique riffs and melodies. I always come back to this record and always feel the same excitement when the first song Epochalypse starts. Broknagar tell their apocalyptic tale in dazzling beauty with crystal clear sound.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UXVlBYW8Ero

17. Violet Cold - Anomie (2017)

Simply one of the best post black metal albums recorded so far in my opinion. Emotional and intense aswell as intricate and crafted with love.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wNNPUBJVWp8

16. Enslaved - RIITIIR (2012)

A bit on the underrated side when it comes to Enslaved records but an absolute banger. RIITIIRs homogenous compositions string together into a masterfully crafted endproduct that takes the listener onto a journey of mind and soul. Quite possibly their most nuanced work to date.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WavEDnmBpgk

15. Sólstafir - Ótta (2014)

Anyone who has listened to Sólstafir ever should know about how amazing they are. How captavating and touching their songs are and how many tears one can shed over the sheer beauty of their melancholic music. Ótta is one of their most refined and clear cut record so far and it does wonders on the longer tracks.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R8n8Uy5KmvU

14. Alcest - Shelter (2014)

Again one of these Albums to listen to when you can relax in a safe environment or when you need to turn any place you are at into a shelter. Healing for you soul and mind without being hard to get into for even non-metal fans. Enjoy this beautiful piece of soothing music whenever you feel lost or alone. It will help.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wZ57uBx68N8

13. Der Weg Einer Freiheit - Finisterre (2017)

Dark, harsh and unapologetically black this album rises over its sometimes weak lyrics. Der Weg Einer Freiheit are a one of a kind band that can proudly hold the banner of German Black Metal high for a new generation. And this most current record of theirs shows what they can do with the tools provided by their label. Especially the re-recorded version of Neubeginn on the special edition is a highlight. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Ic-dXBtP10

12. Saor - Forgotten Paths (2019)

39 minutes that feel like 5. A breathtaking journey through the wilderness on the stomping steps of blastbeats and incredible folk influences. Saors best record by far.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W9bMRTvmvQQ

11. Fen - Dustwalker (2013)

A very soft album dripping with athmosphere at every corner. Its a bit hard to get into but once it catches you it will just not let go.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QtBqlBr0cCQ

10. Messa - Bellfry (2016)

Groovy is the best word to describe this records vibes. A weird attribute to attach to a band that leans heavily into Doom but it fits. A fantastic album by a fantastic band.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HADlImQrG4w

09. Ulver - War of the Roses (2011)

Ulvers strinkingly unique sound easily make them one of my top 5 favorite bands of all time but I cannot explain why this album resonates with me so much. Its just very good!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8DPXMM6u94Q

08. Ghost - Opus Eponymous (2010)

The first record by swedish doom, heavy metal and occult rock group Ghost is to this day quite possibly their most atmospheric album. Gloom and doom mix with catchy tunes to form one hell of an enjoyable listening experience.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0PakoE1eBps

07. Downfall of Gaia - Suffocating in the Swarm of Cranes (2012)

Damn. What an album. What a band! Together with Der Weg Einer Freiheit one of the biggest new progenies of German Black Metal. Bold, black, harsh and full of melancholy. Simply superb!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KaAEJXU7JHY

06. Sólstafir - Svartir Sandar (2011)

A second time Sólstafir weasel their way onto this list and its rightfully deserved. This album is stunning in its complexity and passion. Each song brings something new and exciting to the table. Just listen to it, please, I beg you. Do yourself a favour!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R1qh9XSqnTo

05. Alcest - Kodama (2016)

Alcest is selfcare. Kodama is selfcare. Perfection.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IQsXnldCDeU

04. Ulver - Messe I.X-VI.X (2013)

A bit out there and hard to get into as its one of Ulvers most experiemental pieces of work so far. It was my first real taste of what would become on of my favorite bands real quick (at least my first taste of their newer stuff after I had only listened to some of their old black metal records).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AtHEFDVSfvs

03. Der Weg einer Freiheit - Stellar (2015)

In my opinion just their most well rounded album. Its hard to pick real favorites since all of their records bring something amazing to the table. So I decided to choose the overall most coherent album as the highest on this list. It also contains some of my favourite songs like Repulsion and Einkehr.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s_PYJYTicbE

02. Dornenreich - Freiheit (2014)

Freedom. Thats what this title means and this is what this album provides. This album cleansed my skin, healed my soul and replanted my crops. I shall live forever thanks to the power of this masterpiece of neofolk.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wbz7zlVtwcc

01. Ulver - The Assassination of Julius Caesar (2017)

This is it. The best album of the decade in my opinion. Quite possibly one of the best albums of all time. A synth heavy piece of art that evokes ideas and the style of New Wave music and mixes it with the melancholic moodiness of post metal lyrics. Every song a hit, every song unique and every song simply great. Well rounded, coherent and still experimental when nescessary. Ulver dropped a bomb with this one!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XHE28JiuSQk

HONORABLE MENTIONS! (in alphabetical order)

Alcest- Spiritual Instinct (2019) An Autumn for Crippled Children - The Long Goodbye (2015) Batushka - Litourgiya (2015) Behemoth - The Satanist (2014) BIG BRAVE - Ardor (2017) Blind Guardian - At the Edge of Time (2010) Bròn - Decay (2019) Busdriver - Electricity is on Our Side (2018) Darkthrone - The Underground Resistance (2013) Deafheaven - Sunbather (2013) Deafheaven - Ordinary Corrupt Human Love (2018) Downfall of Gaia - Atrophy (2016) Downfall of Gaia - The Ethic of Radical Finitude (2019) Fen - The Dead Light (2019) Fen - Winter (2017) Ghost - Meliora (2015) Hail Spirit Noir - Pneuma (2012) Harakiri for the Sky - III: Trauma (2016) Ihsahn - Das Seelenbrechen (2013) Ihsahn - Arktis (2016) Kamelot - Poetry for the Poisoned (2010) Katatonia - Dead End Kings (2012) King Gizzard & the Lizard Wizard - I'm in Your Mind (2014) King Gizzard & the Lizard Wizard - Murder of The Universe (2017) Kylver - The Mountain Ghost (2015) Mahr - Antelux (2018) Messa - Feast for Water (2018) Mono - Requiem for Hell (2016) Oceans of Slumber - Winter (2016) Satyricon - Satyricon (2013) scallops hotel - too much of life is mood (2016) Sylvaine - Atoms Alligned, Coming Undone (2018) The Devils Blood - The Thousandfold Epicentre (2011) Violet Cold - Sommermorgen I-III (2018)

If you’ve made it this far, thank you for reading. Tell me about your favs! If you have questions please feel free to reach out to me!

[master-of-gaburincho]

MOG's Throwback Thursday: Imaginext Dinosaurs (2004-2008)

Starting with my first Throwback Thursday post, I decided to share on the toy line I grew up on (along with many others).

This is... the Imaginext Dinosaurs line!!

When I was a wee kid, dinosaurs were my number one obsession. If anything had a dinosaur on it, you know i'd eat that shit up (and quite frankly I still do). One of many staples of a dinosaur-centered childhood during the early 2000's was getting cool dinosaur toys, and the Imaginext Dinosaurs caught my eye.

Let's observe why I love them so darn much, shall we?

The Stegosaurus was the first dinosaur in the line I ever got. Child me thought he was the greatest toy I ever possessed, especially when you pushed the button on the side that made his tail swing back n' forth and let's not forget that dopey grin. My amazement led to me getting the Allosaurus, and from that point on I started collecting these beasts up until I was 9 (I also begged my parents for a Spike the Ultra Dinosaur at that age, but that's perhaps for another post.)

So why do I still hold such appreciation for the Imaginext dinosaurs from the 2000's now?

Easy: The designs. Scientists were still determining what the hell dinosaurs looked like and acted, but because of this, toy companies went with whatever the fuck they wanted when it came to making their dinosaurs. For Imaginext, they chose the best way: adding very colorful stripes and patterns with a more rather grounded stylization of the beasts. The plus side is you can determine whether the dinosaurs were born looking like that or think of it as primal paint the cavepeople decided to splatter on their war-hungry battle beasts.

Oh yeah, did I forget to mention the dinosaurs came with cavepeople/reptoids, accessories, small critters, and saddles for the cavepeople to ride the beasts with?

Because they did. And they absolutely pimped out the dinos with whatever they could find laying around.

Also, I LOVE these shots of the toys. The grass, rocks, and trees really amp up that "primitive" feel. Plus, with the action poses, the dinosaurs and their caveman companions look like they're slugging their way to some great uphill battle.

I also found the addition of small critters neat. They usually ranged from eurypterids, archaeopteryx, lizards, and ground sloths (which were remolds of the cave people, so it ends up making them seem like the sloths were their own race of people)

Somewhere around 2008/2009, Imaginext made a line called Lost Creatures. You could kinda tell that the era of thse Imaginext Dinos was coming to a close.

What I appreciate about this line however is that it seems less about the dinosaurs and more of a "Skull Island" sort of deal (not helped by the fact there's a giant gorilla sporting a sick bone necklace in the line). I mean, you can't just throw giant animals, apes, and dinosaurs and not think of that 2005 King Kong film.

There was a ressurgence of a dinosaur line somewhere in late 2011. This line excited me a bit because not only were the dinos back, but it seems to be based on the 80's toy line Dino Riders. I'm a sucker for the retro stuff, just like how I am a sucker for prehistoric beasts getting decked in wicked tech-armor.

After 2013, imaginext dinos started to get less interesting in my eyes. Obviously I'm not the target demographic, but I would know fun dinosaur toys when I see 'em.

The older Imaginext dinosaurs had some charm to them. As aforementioned, they felt more grounded in stylization: a good blend of "cartoony" and "realistic". The newer imaginext dinos starting from 2014 are too stylized, but that's to be expected with most kid toys nowadays.

The current Imaginext Jurassic World does look nice in my opinion, especially with the feature of those pearly eyes, but they look ugly with the metal parts permanently stuck on them for the sake of gimmicks. I just want removable armor so I can have some nakey dinos

That wraps up for this Throwback Thursday. Until next time...