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emojellyace08 · 8 months

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Found you're writing really good 😈😈 and now you're my next target 😂😂 How do you think gun would react finding someone 100x times beautiful from crystal with great body anddddddd 👀👀👀 is strong like ui daniel but is not quite rich and lives a normal life working at a part time cafe ??? 😮😮😮 lordddd 🤌🤌 the reaction would be priceless, please do it 🥲

Gun Park (Park Jonggun x Female Reader!) short story

A/N: Hello fellow human! Sorry if I ever replied back REALLY LATE. I'll still make Lookism x reader content, but I'm really busy rn so sorry if this felt rushed (and I have a periodical exams to take in Wedensday oof). Genre: fluff? Warnings: mild cursing and mentions of mafia activities (unedited)

Gun isn't exactly the type to easily fall in love, even impressing him alone without trying hard is challenging by itself as many successors, enemies, and other people tried to show their all to the Shiro Oni. But every blood, sweat, and tears were wasted just trying to lay a finger by the unstoppable man, if they would even call him one.

And it is also just a normal day for everyone, people in the city are either spending their money off by their personal plans or continue on with their daily lives. Other women were having their shopping galore either with their friends or alone with quite noticeable make-up plastered on their face yet making their face sparkle up with the cosmetics. Ulzzangs posting their new selfies getting tons, if not millions of likes and social media users having a debate who's prettier or more attractive. Students were stressing out with their school activities or gossip drama with the adults wanting to slack off and get a chug of beer after a long day of their shifts or just take a long nap like a lazy cat with their eyebags being dark and hollow like a panda.

And to most people, you're just an ordinary woman living her life in the crowded city of Seoul. You wouldn't exactly call it the best life ever, but you were somehow thankful to make it this far after long days of shifts and even sometimes working on Holidays even if you want to have a sip of your own coffee at your own place. You're already a functional and working adult yet you sometimes miss your home despite you and your family having your own personal problems. Yet you continue to strive not only for them but mostly for yourself. If it weren't for some men forcing you to have a chat with you by offering their numbers quite rudely, you might even have better days without them putting you into situations you don't even want to experience just because you were considered beautiful.

It was already five in the afternoon, yet you're still there at the cafe doing your duties as a barista and a waitress. The place will be quite silent, almost weird with the sound of silence if it weren't for the chatty customers with some chilling with their drink and pastries of choice. College students doing their research in groups, office-workers updating their marketing plans, and angsty teenagers listening to their melancholic music with their Airpods on. With the stress that you are feeling right now, you felt the need to listen to your own playlist while you watched the sun sank in the sky with a splash of pink, yellow, and blue creating a splash of colors that felt nostalgic yet different at the same time.

Hours passed with people coming in and out, the sky already turning night time with white stars sparkling at night. The yellow lights of the place illuminating at the dark to not only make the place more atmospheric, but to also make the customers feel comfortable with the chill yet warm vibe.

"Miss Y/N, are you already getting the order done for customer five?" your manager with a dark perfect bun for her hairstyle with pale foundation, reddish blush and lip tint, and sunken eye bags (reminding you of a porcelain doll) asked with a raised eyebrows and strict tone as you responded with a hum for agreement while you're mixing and preparing the drink condiments. "Yes Sajangnim (boss) I'm already done with the coffee macchiato and I already have the egg sandwich." you replied while hurrying to prepare the Americano. "Good, more tickets are coming you better hurry up." she replied while she scolds your co-worker that you are deeply annoyed at when she's slumping on the side clicking on her phone instead of helping you out. "She's probably texting someone to date huh?" a voice on your side whispered while you yelped in surprise. "Fucking, geez stop spawning randomly on the side like that." you hissed as he chuckles silently trying to minimize his voice while you also tried not to laugh hysterically. "Okay fine. You're working too much. I'll do the coffee latte and get the mango graham and the croissant." he suggested while your eyes widened in confusion and a bit of surprise. "You sure Jace?" you asked the young man with big ears as he raises a thumbs up "It's fine Eonni (older sister ; metaphorically). Now you go." "You just want your fees to go higher." you teased as he manners to go shooing you away. "I need it since I got to repair Vasco's phone." "Whatever, just do the job right and smooth." you smiled while he finger guns with a tongue-click sound.

You took the orders in your hand and approached the table before you quickly noticed the two familiar guys. You sighed before going closer to the very annoying customers just then the blonde with dark shades greeted you with a dramatic enthusiasm.

"Yo Y/N! It's nice to see you where have you been?!" Goo stood up while waving his hand making the other customers look in confusion. You not wanting to create a scene, you placed the tray in the table and planned to go away. But a hand held your own in a soft but not rather affectionate touch before you swat it away.

"What the hell are you doing in here?" you asked while you felt your blood boiling in frustration. "But we're here to-" "Shut the fuck up Walmart Ken." you scolded Goo while he created a insulting gasp while the ebony-haired man smirked in amusement. "We're here for Charles orders. We're going to take you back in the place where you truly belong for unfinished business." he commented in a calm yet teasing manner making you even more agitated. "This is my business, Gun." If it weren't for the other customers if they ever got frightened and with your manager firing you, you might created a miserable scene that you don't want to happen in the first place. But these people haunts down your biggest fears like a black hole swallowing your entire existence.

"And how did you even find me here? And don't you see the no smoking sign?" you rolled your eyes making Goo and Gun grin more while Gun huffs his smoke, "We have our own ways." "And c'mon Y/N, we know you miss doing tough missions with us!" Goo again interfered while you stood their in cold feet not knowing what to do with this situation. "And besides Charles is offering you a billion won with making the four major crews stronger for him to pay you, even make it thrice the price if you did the job well." Gun offered while taking a sip of his coffee and the other man looking at the menu sheet to order more of the sweets. "Well don't you contact me when either the Workers tried to interfere or your goons stabbing all of your backs." you replied with a sass while Gun just replies. "If that ever happens, I'm not going to hesitate to beat their-" "Yo Y/N, can I get a latte with a chocolate doughnut?" the childish guy ordered interrupting Gun's long speech. Though his eye accessory hides his orbs, you can imagine (almost see) Goo flickering his eyelashes like a puppy begging to play with it's owner. "Whatever, I'm leaving." you rolled your eyes in frustration before going to the employee room and aggressively slamming the door. "Wait what? Y/N We still have lots to talk about and my order-" Goo was about to chase you before Gun kicked him in the legs under the table, successfully earning a hiss of pain from the other guy. "Let her be, she'll change her mind." Gun interrupted while Goo raised his eyebrows. "Hah?! For fuck's sake we're just going to let her run away? Again? You'll be in fault if Charles scolded our scrawny asses again." Goo ranted as the people in the cafe started to weirdly glare at them for being to noisy. "I know where she's going, besides she would get scolded, even probably fired since she left during her shift. So just stay calm." Gun replied while stealing the sweet and umami food that Goo just offered that's been sitting for a minute now. "Hey! that's my sandwich!" "Just buy another one you got twenty thousand won on your wallet." Gun replied while he wipes off the extra mayo on his mouth with a tissue. "Says the one who's chomping off my toast right now, idiot." "Stop making Gordon Ramsey references or I'll kill you."

"Y/N where the hell have you been! Don't you see that there's lots of tickets flooding in here?! Oi you brat answer me!" your manager who's been flickering your guts scolded you while your co-worker from earlier smirks at your downfall, you not only fixing your bag in your locker but also trying to make yourself composed as you don't want to lash out your anger to the people who have done nothing wrong to you (they do, a lot but you just don't complain about it). "If you won't answer my question-" "Shut up." you murmured interrupting her speech in a lifeless manner. "I'll leave. You can fire my ass." "Hey Y/N what is going on in here?" Jace asked before you again slammed the exit door, leaving the poor guy confused and lots of responsibility in his hands...

You ran, as fast as you could. You kept running and running. You ran past the tall buildings filled with city lights creating a beautiful atmosphere, yet the familiar feeling of sorrow began to linger on your mind and heart reminding you of the memories of the past that you tried to bury deep down to start a completely fresh start of the first chapter of your life. But it looks like even books can have it's pages ripped and burned.

After a long mile, you stopped your movement as you breathe deeply trying to catch air like you're being suffocated by your feeling of dread. You didn't want to go in this place, but it is the only place that you called home.

This is the place where you met them, where you grew up, and where you were turned into a monster.

It is an old and abandoned park, the fake wood texture of the metal benches started to rust with the colorful paint with vulgar words and drawings adding to the stain. Trash were everywhere, even a scary place like this looks like it's been a hang out for runaway teenagers or addicts. The trees and plants look completely dry and lifeless since it's not been watered and just not being cared of, making the crunchy leaves fall down into the ground. Newspaper with the dirty and used ashtrays and used beverage bottles were also scattered in the area. It is a complete mess like what you are right now, but the smell of toxins and beer makes your mind hazy and in peace as you try to think of the good memories that you have in here (if you ever had one).

You thought that you can finally have your moment of peace and solitude. But it looks like you have to deal with these fuckers you kept whistling and cooing at your existence. Looks like they're drunk men who's been wasting their life, completely indulged in alcohol and other things that are addicting even though they mostly look formal, decent, and clean. The police were doing a bad job for shooing away people who don't have a home but doesn't arrest people like this. People who were supposed to act normal and responsible now that they have everything, not chugging on alcohol.

"Who is this chick over here?" a skinny man with a white polo asked as his friend's arms snaked into your shoulder, making you uncomfortable. "What are you doing here alone? Is your boyfriend supposed to take-" "Shut the fuck up and leave me alone retards." you swatted his hand away and getting distance from them, but this doesn't alarm the men keeping their annoying behavior in touch. They started making laughs and mocking faces making your blood boil. "Feisty huh? Don't worry, We will take care of yo-"

Everything went fast as you slammed him into the ground. His friends were caught off guard but the other goon decided to take you down. "You bitch!-"

It looks like a bad idea huh? Since you were so fast, you managed to capture and block his punch. You put pressure on his hand as you then twisted it making it dislocate and elbowing him on his armpit impacting pain on his shoulder and upper limb. He is now crying on the ground, coughing and crying like a little toddler who scratched his elbow as the other men decided to attack you besides the leader of the group who cowers in fear. Kicks, punches, and attacks are made by you causing them to get knocked out by your bare strength. You clicked your tongue in dismay when a familiar figure approached the scene. "I knew that you would be here." he muttered while you huffed in pure disgust as Gun smirked at the damage you have inflicted. "If you asked again for me to be a slave of your shitty management I'm not going with you." cutting him off with a unsatisfied tone, you started walking away from the place but then he tapped your shoulder. But you're not in the mood to interact with anybody. You didn't even thought twice that you punched him in the face yet he didn't even budged. A flow of blood starting to drool down on his chin. The masochistic Shiro Oni starting to get excited about your sudden aggression as he let himself get hit in the first place. "Will you stop following me around like a dog?! GET LOST YOU MOTHERFUCKER!"

"Punching me on the face would not end great for you, but this is why I like you Y/N. Now show me what you got can you?~" his demonic grin appearing on his scarred face.

#lookism x reader #lookism x y/n #lookism x you #gun park x reader #park jonggun x reader

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youregunnabemine · 9 months

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CHAPTER TWO; "Not him."

Yet another day of grueling work. {Y/N} slid a glass of Bourbon to a man with shaggy brown hair, stubble, sunken eyes with slight eyebags underneath. "Thanks, miss." He gruffly mumbled. She weren't sure why, but he looked fairly familiar. Not someone {Y/N} had talked to or something, but she had seen Laurel laughing with him once or twice. "..So, you know Laurel?" He asked, sipping from his glass. {Y/N} quirked her head to the side at this, nodding. He chuckled, "So you must be {Y/N}, right?" Surprise flashed across her face, but she nodded, a smile tugging at her lips "The one and only." She said with a now big, proud smile. The man laughed roughly, setting down his glass. The liquid splashed out the side slightly. "Like that attitude! I'm Eduardo." He stuck out his hand, which looked worn, and calloused. Briskly, {Y/N} shook his hand. For a few minutes, the pair chatted, laughing and joking about god knows what. That was until one of your co-workers shouted for {Y/N} to come over. She sighed, waving bye to Eduardo. "What?" {Y/N} asked, placing a hand on her hip. "Shh!!" The coworker, Hellucard put his finger to his lips, before pointing at a table towards the back of the bar. It was the kind of place that had booths, most towards the exit. Sat in one, alone, was a man. He was tall, even sitting down. Deep brown hair that sat on his shoulders in a short mullet, though he had bangs that sat just above his eyes. Most oddly, in the front of his hair was two pieces standing on end, resembling heavily of devil horns. Clutched in a hand covered in what looked to be burn scars was a fat cigar, smoke rising and curling into intricate patterns before disappearing into the air But it wasn't his hair, not his scarred hand that caught {Y/N}'s eye. It was his face. The left side was normal, with smooth skin, sunken gray eye, and a sneer of his lips. But the right? Fuck was that a sight. Scars littered it. The eye grossly mutualized, parts of his jaw and chin almost looking like they were frayed. "Wait.. is that-!?" Hellucard laughed at {Y/N}'s sudden frightful response, and he nodded, "Yep! The Larkson." {ONE AND PROLLY ONLY A/N RN; I won't be using real last names ever.} "Why is he.. y'know.. here? Not like this place is much good anyways." {Y/N} kept her gaze fixed on Mr. Larkson, unease building up inside of her. "No idea," Hellucard shrugged, running a hand through his messy blond hair "..I don't like this." She mumbled to herself, a pit building in her stomach.

#1920s au #eddsworld #mafia au #tord x reader #yandere x reader #eddsworld x reader #mafia tord #mafia x reader #x reader #tordew

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bearhyuck127 · 5 months

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Meet me in court

Lawyer!Mark lee x fem!reader

Warning- mention of murder.. nothing else reall

Disclaimer- not proofread

Chapter 1- confusion

It was a normal day for me and my members.

We sat in a circle reviewing the dance video for our upcoming comeback, all of our eyes were trained on the video as someone walks Into the room.

"Mrs. Y/n will you come with us please?" Says a man that I swear I've never seen before.

I stand up looking back at my members who's faces were filled with confusion as I shrug.

As I walk out of the room the man says nothing as he walks down the hall taking long strides as if he was in a hurry.

We make it to a big room that I've never been in before. The man opens the door to reveal what I would guess is more staff sitting there huddled together.

I enter the room and realize there were three cops leaning against the wall.

" Whats going on?" I ask in a worried tone looking back at the man that has already closed the door and taken his seat.

" Have a seat Mrs y/n" says one of the cops in a deep intimidating voice. My heart beats faster as I sit down the cops following soon after.

" So Mrs. Y/n are you aware of the current situation?" The intimidating cop asks.

" What... Is there something wrong?" I ask my heart dropping.

The staff exchange glances at each other as the cop pulls a piece of paper out of a folder that they had and sliding it over to me.

As I skim through the paper I gasp my heart dropping.

Written on the paper was a printed out post that was made earlier this morning. It was a post claiming that I was a murder along with multiple paragraphs of "evidence" " What is this?? Who wrote this?" I ask the color draining from my face."

We are trying to track down the information of the creator. I'm afraid the post has already gained a lot of attention." Says the female cop.

"Well can't you take it down? This isn't funny it could ruin my career." I exclaim

" We understand miss and we are trying but right now we need to take you in for questioning."

Questioning? I didn't do anything wrong. I think to myself. None of this I my fault.

I think back to all the times people warned me of things like this....

The look of worry and concern in my parents eyes.

"Honey don't you think that's a big stretch? You know how hard that industry could get." Says my sweet mother that warned me... Time and time again.

" We will always support you in your dreams kiddo." Says my father that tries to sound supporting but you can see the doubt in his eyes.

They warned me...And I didn't listen.

The uncomfortable stares of the staff burning holes in my body.. the whisper of the managers deciding my fate.

The hollow look on my face as I slouch in the chair ready to take the blow.

Ready... I thought I was ready..

But as I hear the words. " Mrs. Yn we have decided that it is best if you take a break the situation is... Getting out of hand." The world around me stops and I can hear ringing in my ear.

They lead me to the cop car that was parked at the front of the building sitting me in the back of the car and driving away.

As I see the comments and hate that flood the comment section of every social media platform I, had I knew...It's over....

My life as an idol is over.

When we get to the station they bring me to the back of the building and into a room leaving me alone.

The room was dark and stuffy. The only light that filled the room is the dim broken over head light that flickered every few seconds.

I stay silent in the rusty black folded chair as I wait for something to happen.

After what felt like hours of waiting a lady walks in. She had long brown hair that was tied up into a ponytail. She had a black and white suit on that contrasted with the dark eyebags that hung under her sunken eyes.

" Good morning Mrs y/n my name is Detective Lucy it's nice to meet you." she says reaching out a hand.

I shake her hand and she sits down on the chair with a soft groan.

" I understand you are probably overwhelmed right now but we just want to ask some questions." She says pulling out her phone and pressing record. " I hope you don't mind but we have to record this session for evidence" she explained leaning back in her chair. I nod swallowing before taking a deep breath.

" Did you know anything about the post that was made this morning before it was shown to you?"

" No I was with my members since 6 in the morning we never look at our phones while we are practicing."

" So you know anything about the murder that was talked about in the post?" She asks and when I don't say anything she stands up and walks around the room slowly.

" On Saturday January 6th the murder of Jacob Kim took place in the alley way next to your company building.. coincidence huh?" She asks almost mockingly.

" Mr. Kim was killed by multiple stab wounds and was dumped in the trash cans near the ally way. He was found two days later after getting a call from a lady that found him as she was throwing trash away."

My eyes were focused on her as she walks around the room suddenly stopping and turning towards me with her arms crossed." You haven't heard anything about it?" She asks raising an eyebrow.

"N-no I haven't heard anything.. I don't think my members have either " I say getting nervous.

She nods as she sits back in her chair. " This is a big thing Mrs. Y/n you are being accused of murder.. " she says leaning on the table her hands intertwined.

" If the parents take this to court it can get messy I suggests you find a lawyer just in case..." She says glancing up at the clock and reaching over to grab her phone.

" Over at 12:56" she says Into her phone before stopping the recording and standing up, the chair creaking from the weight being lifted off of it as if it was sighing in relief.

" You are free to go Mrs y/n" she say walking towards the door and opening it. " Good luck" she says before walking out of the room. And I could have sworn I heard her whisper...

You'll need it.

💭- I changed like... everything last second but I like the way it flowed much better. Chapter 2 will be posted soon. Enjoy!

#nct dream #nct 127 #nct u #Mark Lee #female reader #Bearhyuck

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underworld-of-imagines · 3 years

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Alone - Spencer Reid

Prompt: “Did you get any sleep last night?”

TW: Heavy mentions of death, angst

A/N: Hey guys so this is something I worked on for a few days. I got the idea from a list of dialogue prompts I have.

Part 2

“Why didn’t you save me?”

You shot up like a bullet, your heart racing as tears threatened to spill from your eyes. The cold air burned your lungs as you drew in deep breaths, your ears still ringing from the nightmare. Your sweat-soaked shirt clung to your body, leaving a sticky residue over your skin.

Glancing at your alarm clock you let out a big groan, 4:23AM, you had barely made it 2 hours.

Knowing you wouldn’t make it back to sleep, you dragged yourself out of bed and into your kitchen. Tipping out your now cold coffee, you set about making a new hot cup to awaken your mind for the excruciatingly long day ahead. The bitter coffee burned your tongue, too lazy to care about the taste or burning you downed the cup quickly. You filled the cup again, downing it once more before throwing the cup into the over-piling sink.

The nightmares since your sisters death had been relentless, torturing you past the point of exhaustion. Avery, your sister, was killed by a drunk driver a mere two weeks ago. You weren’t very close to your younger sister, but still her sudden and painful death left you with a myriad of nightmares that followed. Your parents had already died, quite a few years ago, leaving only you and your sister to carry on the family line. But now, you were the only one left, left alone to deal with the aftermath of your sister’s death.

Hell, you and your sister weren’t close. In fact, you couldn’t be more opposite from each other. But that didn’t stop the love you had for her. Sure, you fought, every sibling fights every now and then. She didn’t approve of your work and you didn’t approve of hers; yours was dangerous, hers wasn’t enough to support her. You made it work though. Because you loved your sister.

And now, she was gone, just like your parents.

Your apartment seemed empty, no one else had ever lived there, but the hole in your heart made a hole in your apartment. You were alone. The photos of your family that you once proudly displayed now sat in a box, painful memories of everything you had lost.

Tired of standing in your apartment, you reached for your car keys before leaving the apartment. Driving was one of your favourite ways to get things off of your mind. You didn’t have to think of the pain, or the loss. It was just you and the road.

4am meant mostly empty roads, and tired drivers who wanted to be anywhere else but there. Except for you, you were wide awake and looking for the perfect distraction from your thoughts. Turning on the radio, you waited for a quiet sad song to start playing before pulling out of your apartment’s parking lot. It was the perfect distraction.

After a few hours of driving, you got a call from Hotch on your way back to your apartment.

“We got a case; briefing is in 30 minutes.” He announced sharply before hanging up. Letting out a loud sigh, you turned around and drove back towards the office. Luckily, you had thought ahead and thrown your go bag into the backseat of your car, along with a change of clothes for work. You weren’t really planning on heading home before work started. Instead, hoping that you’d find something to entertain yourself with.

“Y/L/N, how nice of you to join us.” Emily teased jokingly as you rushed into the briefing room, breathless from the quick change you had done.

“Sorry, long night.” You apologised before sitting in your seat, the tablets being handed around by Penelope.

“Oh, was he good?” Emily said teasingly.

“Um, what?” You questioned. Confused, you looked at her before realising that she thought you were with a guy.

“Did you get any sleep last night?” Derek asked, his eyes watching you carefully. You glanced at him nervously, avoiding his eyes. He already knew the answer, they all did.

Hotch cleared his throat, drawing the room’s attention back to the case at hand.

“Okay, so we have a murdered couple in Sheridan, Wyoming. It’s a small town with about 18,000 people. The local police department have done some investigating but came up with no viable leads. This is believed to be the third couple murdered in a string of crimes. We’ve been asked to come in and help catch the unsub.” JJ explained, pictures flashing up on the screen of the couple.

You zoned out, focusing on the photo of the female on the screen. Her black hair was the same colour of your sisters, her lips the same shade of pink. She looked scarily like your sister, so much so, that if your sister weren’t already dead, you’d be convinced that it was her.

“Y/N, come on we’re leaving in 30 minutes.” Reid announced, nudging your side almost painfully to bring you out of your trance.

Spencer was your closest friend at the BAU, you told him everything, from a book you read, to some interesting fact you had found out. You knew about his mum, and even had gone to meet her with him once. But this is something you wanted to keep to yourself, you didn’t want pity, or help – you just wanted to get over how you were feeling. Admittedly, you had hoped there was something more between you and him, but he never acted, so you assumed it was just platonic for him.

“Oh, yeah.” You nodded before standing up and leaving the room hastily, you didn’t want Reid to know why you were acting so weird. He was a genius; he’d figure it out somehow.

*****

You wrapped your jacket tighter around your body as the chills set into your bones. For some ungodly reason, the air-conditioning on the plane was always colder than necessary, and you always needed a jacket for the ride. Jokingly, your sister used to call you lizard, because of the fact that you were always cold, no matter the temperature outside.

“So, anybody got any ideas?” Hotch asked as you sat around the plane, everyone moving closer to discuss the case. You zoned out of the conversation; your eyes warily trained on the closed file in before you.

“Y/L/N go visit the last crime scene.” You zoned back into the conversation, focusing on Hotch who was sitting across from you. “The families of those victims are on their way, so we’ll touch base with them when they arrive.” Hotch assigned your roles, leaving you to continue looking over the cases on your way to the location.

*****

“Mr. Morrison was killed over here, coroner put his death at before Miss. Turner’s, who was killed in the bedroom.” You followed the officer into the bedroom, unconsciously taking notes of both the victim’s lives and their deaths.

“Were there any signs of sexual assault on the female?” You questioned, averting your eyes from the large blood stain on the bed.

“Not from what we could tell, although it seems like the killer may have positioned the body postmortem.” Around the room there were several photos of the seemingly happy couple, as well as some of their respective families. Walking over to the nightstand you noticed the slightly open bottom drawer.

“Has this been searched?” You questioned, pointing towards the open drawer before you.

“No.” Usually you refrained from looking into one’s personal lives so much, but you needed to find any link you could between the victims.

Bending down, you opened the bottom drawer. Inside the drawer were a pile of magazines and catalogues, all about weddings and relationships. On top, was a black velvet box with a small silver leaf imprinted on it. Opening it, you saw that it was empty, the engagement ring missing from the box.

“Was she found with an engagement ring?” You questioned, examining the back of the box.

“No, she wasn’t.” You showed the empty box to the officer, who eyed it curiously.

“So, where’s the ring?”

*****

Cold water dripped down your face, chilling your skin as you leaned against the basin, your elbows resting on the counter. The cold-water working miracles to awaken your mind again, shocking you into a state of semi-consciousness. Sucking in a deep breath, you splashed your face with more cold water again before looking up at your reflection in the mirror. You looked beyond exhausted, sunken, dark purple eyebags, pale skin, slightly sunken in skin. It was a wonder you hadn’t passed out from exhaustion entirely.

The door to the bathroom opened, Emily stepping into the small space. She quickly noticed you, and your distressed appearance. You watched as she cautiously stepped towards you, her hand extended out slightly.

“Y/N?” She asked, her hand resting gently on your shoulder. “Are you okay?” You held your composure as you dried your face, forcing your lips into a gentle smile.

“Yeah, just been a rough day. This case isn’t easy,” you lied. Profiling made lying come easy to you, you could lie through your teeth about almost anything now.

“Bullshit. Something is wrong, the whole team can tell. You’ve been hurting for weeks. You obviously haven’t been sleeping, and you’re distracted almost all of the time. We’re worried about you,” tears pricked at your eyes as Emily spoke, her words hitting deep into your heart. “Whatever it is, you can tell me.” She assured, her hand gently rubbing your back in circular motions.

“My sister-” you choked, the ball in your throat hardening, “she was killed in a car accident. Drunk driver.” Emily let out a painful sigh, her arms pulling you into a tight hug. “It happened about 2 weeks ago; I haven’t been able to sleep since.” You admitted, the words coming out of your mouth before you could stop them.

“Y/N, why didn’t you tell us?” She questioned, tears pricking at her eyes as well.

“Because I need to deal with it on my own. I can’t take time off, the team needs me, victims need me. But I’m getting better,” you forced a smile to try and convince her of your words.

“You need time to heal Y/N. We can find a way to manage without you. You’re all alone in this aren’t you?” Reluctantly, you nodded your head, a tear slipping down your cheek. “I’m sorry,” she apologised. “Taking some time off might help you though. It’s easy to tell that you’re exhausted and not working at your best. Nobody will blame you; we just want what’s best for you.” She reminded, her words full of warmth and heart.

“Thank you,” your voice was quiet, but she smiled, nonetheless.

“We’re here for you.”

*****

The door to Hotch’s office swung in, Hotch stood on the other side of the doorway, a grim expression on his face.

“Y/N, come on in.” You nodded, following him into the large office that you had only seen a few times. “What’s the meaning of this meeting?” He questioned, his eyes not averting from yours.

“I-I’d like to request some time off sir. My sister passed away a few weeks ago, and I thought I could handle it and work. But I haven’t been able to,” you admitted, hanging your head in shame. Anyone else on the team could have handled grieving and work, or at least separated the two from one another. You couldn’t, everywhere you went, your sister was there. Everything you did, she was there.

“Why didn’t you tell us Y/N?” Hotch’s body relaxed, a sad expression washing over his face.

“I didn’t feel like you guys needed to know.” You admitted shamefully, regret laced into your words.

“We’re your team Y/N, you should have told us.” He chastised; his voice thick with sadness.

“I know sir, I’m sorry I didn’t.” You paused in silence for a minute, the air thick as you thought of your actions. “Can I take a few weeks off sir? I promise it won’t be long, I just need some time to grieve and sort through things,” you assured, your eyes pleading.

“Of course, Y/N, take however long you need.” He reached for a piece of paper, handing it to you. “Just fill this out and send it back to me in a few days. I’ll sort out the rest.” Grateful, you took the piece of paper out of his hand, holding it gently in your own.

“Thank you, sir, see you when I come back.” You appreciated, shaking his hand briefly before walking out of the office.

The bullpen was now empty, everyone having already left to go home for a few days after the long case. You had successfully caught the killer, right before he killed another couple. Turns out he had been hunting couples looking to get engaged, because his ex-girlfriend had turned down his proposal.

The team had agreed to go out for drinks after the case, to celebrate yet another win. You had opted out of going to the bar, instead lying that you had some things you wanted to do. It wasn’t a complete lie. But thankfully, the boys had believed it. JJ and Garcia were a bit more suspicious. Emily just watched you warily, already knowing what you were going to do when you got home.

Since you had told her of your sister, she was more than understanding of your actions. And even helped you out by bringing you coffee and checking in on you. She was one of your closest friends, and you were ever grateful for her.

Grabbing your bag, you packed away some important stuff from your desk before looking around the empty bullpen – it was your home away from home. Letting out a small sigh, you hitched your bag over your shoulder before walking out of the bullpen, aware of Hotch watching you walk towards the elevators.

*****

~3RD PERSON POV~

“Hey, has anyone heard from Y/N lately?” Derek question as he walked into the break area, everyone was spread around the small area, chatting between themselves. Emily stayed quiet, glancing at Hotch who was now paying attention to current issue. The team had a right to know at least something for your sudden disappearance.

“Some things happened recently, and Y/N needed to take some time off to deal with them.” Emily spoke up, being careful not to release any telling information. Knowingly, Hotch glanced at her, he didn’t know that Emily knew, but now it made sense since Y/N wouldn’t have gone to him without being pushed.

“She was pretty out of it for the past few weeks,” JJ pointed out. The team had picked up on your behaviour and knew something was wrong from the day after her death, when you walked in late with bloodshot eyes.

“Team, Y/N took some time off for personal reasons. I can’t go much into it, but a family member passed away and she was struggling with the situation. She requested some time off to deal. I know it hasn’t been easy for her lately, so please, can we stop speculating and give her privacy.” Hotch requested, putting his coffee mug back down on the bench. Spencer glanced up at him, his eyes full of concern as he profiled his supervisor.

“Excuse me,” he muttered, standing up and grabbing his coffee. He hurried back to his desk, quickly sitting down, and sending you a hasty text.

S: Are you okay?

He waited for what seemed like forever for your response. It was only a few minutes before his phone dinged with a response.

You: So, you found out?

He ignored the pain of your harsh response as he quickly typed a response.

S: Why didn’t you tell me?

You: I didn’t feel the need to. I didn’t want anyone to find out. Emily convinced me to tell Hotch after she cornered me on the last case.

S: I thought we were close though?

You: Spencer, we are close. But this is something I wanted to deal with on my own.

He sensed your hesitation in the text, the lie that you blatantly told. Spencer knew you better than anyone, he could read you like a book. You couldn’t get anything past him.

S: Do you want me to come over?

He watched carefully as the three dots appeared and disappeared a few times. Letting out a groan, he put his phone down, he knew you needed someone to help, to talk to. But he couldn’t help but feel stupid for asking. Obviously, you didn’t want him around, or you would have told him earlier.

You: Please

With that simple word, he jumped up and practically ran over to the break area. His pleading eyes looked at Hotch, and before he could even open his mouth, Hotch spoke.

“Go,” Hotch acquiesced. He knew that you needed someone, and Spencer was the someone you needed.

Part 2

#spencer reid #spencer reid imagine #spencer imagine #criminal minds #criminal minds imagine #spencer x reader fluff #spencer fluff

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peachandlovesick · 4 years

Text

WHITE WEDDING

A one shot where the reader is ex lovers with Gojo and is getting married to someone she doesn't exactly love even though she stills has feelings for Gojo.

Warning; A bit of sour cream angst

A/N- I was listening to the song above and was inspired to make this oneshot. Enjoy!

You aren't sure if your making the right decision. The white lace on your skin feels odd as Mei Mei fusses around you and you swear you feel your blood circulation cut off when she tugs even tighter on your corset, the fabric digging into your skin.

Shoko watches from a distance, a blank look on her face as she drinks from a bottle of alcohol she had snuck into the room. Unlike the rest of your bridal train, Shoko isn't in a dress, instead wearing plain clothes even if it was inappropriate for the occasion.

"Mei!" You hiss, "Keep pulling on my corset and I might just pass out."

"Sorry" She apologises, stepping back to give you enough space.

Your heel clad feet move towards the wide mirror to admire your wedding dress, a frown on your scarlet tainted lips as you did so. This feels wrong. You voice your thoughts and Mei Mei and Shoko look at you incredulously.

"Having doubts?" Shoko asks, setting her bottle of alcohol aside. Her eyes are sunken with eyebags and her face is ashy, you wonder if she's been getting enough sleep lately. Knowing her, probably not.

You glance at the mirror again to avoid her gaze, twirling your bouquet of primroses in your hand nervously. You can feel yourself start to panic, the rising and sinking of your chest becoming more erratic. Mei Mei places a comforting hand on your shoulder.

"It's okay if you don't want to do this." Mei Mei tells you "You can back out of this wedding if you want."

Your lips part to tell her the truth, about his selfish you were being for having a wedding when you clearly didn't want the man you were about to marry when there's a knock at the door. Shoko offers to get it, prying the door open to see who it was.

"What are you doing here?" She sounds unimpressed when she speaks but her word pique your interest. Tilting your head, you try and catch a glimpse of who it was and when you see the familiar silver hair and blue eyes of Gojo Satoru, your lips part and eyes widen in sudden shock.

"Can I see her?" He standing at the doorway, his eyes flickering up from Shoko's smaller frame to look at you.

"Do you want to see him" Mei Mei looks at you for an answer. Do you? You glance at him for a moment and decide that you want too.

"Yeah, I do." You tell her and then add "Alone."

Mei mei gets the message. Lifting her dress from the floor with one hand, she takes Shoko's arm with the other and walks towards the door, pausing to whisper something into Satoru's ear before she leaves.

Satoru steps into the room, closing the door behind him with a soft click. You turn around and you're met with with his intense blue gaze. He looks good in a tuxedo but you won't tell him that, knowing it would only inflate his ego further. His silver bangs are gelled back away from its usual style of sitting above his forehead and his dark shades stays perched on his nose bridge, sliding down a few inches to reveal his crystal blue eyes.

A minute passes and you're both still staring at each other, neither of you sure about what to say.

You decide to speak first "Hi, I didn't think you would come."

Satoru smiles softly "I wanted to see you before the ceremony. I'm not intruding am I?"

"Of..of course not." You unintentionally stutter. Your palms are suddenly sweaty and you wonder if he can see how nervous you are. If he does, he doesn't comment on it.

"I can't believe your getting married. It feels like yesterday when we were still teenagers." Your teenage memories were a hellish nightmare that you never wished to relive. Satoru usually never brought the topic up and neither did you.

"Can I be honest with you, Satoru?" You're gazing down at the marble floors, your lower lip caught between your teeth as you anxiously chew on it. He notices your little action, his eyes watching your movement with interest.

"Of course you can." His voice is soft and comforting, rolling of his tongue smoothly.

"I don't think I can't get married. Not now. Not when I still..." You trail off, not sure if you should go on.

"When you still what, Y/N?" He presses on, urging you to say the words he had been waiting to hear from you for a while now.

You look up at him. He's caught under the glare of the sun and the butterflies in your stomach flutter under his bright hypnotic stare.

"Not when I still want you."

The words spill out of your mouth before you can stop it. You expect for him to react in the worst way possible and leave but instead you find yourself pulled into his embrace, arms wrapped tightly around your waist.

You can feel his lips moving beside your ear as he whispers "You have no idea how much I've missed you, y/n"

Relief washes over you and a smile graces your face "I've missed you too, Satoru."

You stay in his arms for a while until you realise that there's still a wedding that's suppose to hold with you as the bride. You tell Satoru this when you both pull away.

"Cancel it?" He suggests.

There's a guilty feeling in your chest but you know it's necessary for your own happiness.

"Cancel it." You agree.

#satorugojo #jjk #jujustukaisen #gojosatoru #gojoxreader #gojosatoruxreader #mildangst #satorugojoxreader #meimei #shoko #Spotify

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kashimos-hajime · 5 years

Text

i’ll be good

Summary: “I have to believe that even if something seems like it cannot be fixed, it doesn't mean it's broken.”

WARNINGS: really not that much for once, just a tiny bit of angst Pairing: Detective Loki x Reader Word Count: 5.6k

A/N: we’ve made it. i hope you enjoy the finale. now, it’ll be known what all of this has been for. all the tattoos (both yours and loki’s), the pain, the allusions, the title and a callback to the VERY BEGINNING! and who knows? maybe i’ll write more for our big jacket boy. for the proper vibes of this chapter (and the whole fic, really), i recommend listening to I’ll Be Good by Jaymes Young.

01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | ...

Beep. Beep. Beep.

“She’s been dead for three days, at the most”

Beep. Beep. Beep.

“If I had to guess, and I don’t, it would’ve been the snake bite.”

Beep. Beep. Beep.

“Snakes. Fucking snakes.”

Beep. Beep. Beep.

“It’s your fault!”

Beep. Beep. Beep.

“Look at me. Look at me! I fucking love you.”

Beep. Beep.

“You think love is enough?”

Beep. Beep.

“I don’t want to fight anymore.”

Beep.

“Neither do I.”

...

“We can’t let this happen again.”

Beep.

“This isn’t that case.”

...

Beep.

“Clear!”

Your chest burns, aches as a click, click, click echoes in your ears in time with every breath you take, and you groan. It’s dark outside — or are your eyes just closed — and you turn your head, squeezing your eyes shut with every clank of plastic. Your neck flares up, your muscles protesting against the movement as a soreness spreads up and down.

Your head, oh, god, your head. It’s like a stampede of wildebeest came to stomp all over you and then an elephant decided to toot its trunk into your ear at full blast. Your hand moves on its own accord, every muscle in your limb nothing more than putty as you try to move it towards your head.

Fuck...

You can’t move your hand. Your fingers twitch and a prickly sensation pokes at your palm. So you aren’t paralyzed, not anymore. You’re not numb, except for whatever’s probably cutting off your circulation. Okay.

Okay.

Something warm, hot, is pressed against your hand, wrapping around your digits and palm tightly. Wetness has gathered in the crease of your thumb, and you frown, sinking deeper into the softness surrounding your head.

You need to see. You need to focus on that despite the aching pains in your chest, the cracking agony in your skull.

Your eyelids peel back, and the soft light to your right makes you squeeze them shut again. Dry-eyed, you blink at the coldness before trying again. With wet eyes, you open your eyes and squint, trying to clear your throat. Something jostles in your throat and a cough erupts in your chest. Your other hand, untouched by the wet heat, reaches for your mouth and you let out a whine. Your throat shudders as nurses swarm your bed, telling you to calm down. The heat leaves your hand and you reach an arm weakly for the retreating heat, only for it to flop back down on the bed.

“Is she alright?” a voice barks, deep and rough over the croonings of the nurses stroking at your shoulder and working at the pain. They peel the tape securing the intubation tube to your mouth and slowly pull it out. You gasp, eyes squeezing shut and a nurse elevates your bed until you’re nearly sitting.

The nurses continue to work, monitoring your vitals or something and you feel something nudge at your lips. Turning your face away, you grunt. Your throat feels like it nearly rips and cool fingers touch your jaw.

“Try opening your eyes, miss. You’ve been out for a while. Here, water.”

Sipping greedily, you nearly cough at how slippery it is, how quickly it slips down your throat. Slowly opening your eyes, you let your head drop deep into the pillows. Someone curls your fingers over something hard, and you run a finger over what feels like buttons.

“This is your remote. This button to call a nurse, these to adjust the elevation of the bed.”

“Detective, you have to wait. She might not be fully lucid—” the nurse beside you begins and you turn your head slowly to the sound. Although your whole world is still a big blur of colours and lights and shadows, you know the shape of him from miles away. Lifting a weak hand, you squint at the IV line and oxygen clip on your finger. “She’s dehydrated, and malnourished. She needs rest, alright? Don’t strain her or we’ll be forced to remove you.”

“No, no, I won’t. Just… let me see her.”

“We’ll be right outside, miss,” the nurse whispers in your ear but you barely hear them as a warm, crushing thing clamps down on your hand. A rough thumb strokes away the wet on your skin. The other hand brushing hair away from your face as his chapped lips press against your forehead, you smile up at him.

“L… David.” Your voice cracks and he presses his wet face against your palm as he sits down. The hot tears run over your skin, and you realize then that the sticky heat of your palm had been him. What else could it have been?

“I called 911 on the way, I… I didn’t know.” The feel of his muscles moving against your palm, just the heat of him, sends strength into your arm and your thumb rubs over his wet cheek. Wrapping weak fingers around his neck, you pull him closer and he lets out a soft sigh, leaning over the bed to press his cheek against yours. Stale coffee, bearglove deodarant, gum. Home floods your nose, and you nose at his cheek, lips brushing against the corner of his mouth. “They said it’d be touch and go — she fucking overdosed you with ketamine and they had to intubate, you were paralyzed — and they said I needed to get my bullet wound checked out, but I—”

“How’s Anna?” you ask, first on your very long list of things you need to ask him about. He sniffs, kissing your knuckles before setting your arm back down. Fatigue runs its way up your body, and, with your eyes at half-mast, you smile.

“Still in recovery.”

“And you got a GSW? I wasn’t hallucinating that?” You push him back so softly yet he pulls back instantly so you can look at him. Your hand cradles his face on its own accord, and you spot the bandage taped to his face that’s stained with new blood. Your fingers, brittle and weak, brush over his cheek. You let out a sharp, breathless laugh. His right eye is red with blood, and dark holes circle his eyes. You don’t know if it’s the drugs still left or just your frank gratitude that he’s still alive, but you merely admire the swell of his eyebags, the sunken quality of his eyes. “Did they say your CT was clear?”

“Still waitin’ on that, but I’m up and around. So long as the nurses can keep an eye on me.” He drags his chair closer and leans into the bed, elbows digging into the mattress. You smile tenderly as he presses your knuckles against his forehead, head dipped as if in prayer. “Oh, god. Fuck, I thought… I never want to choose again. I never…” His lips lift to find your fingers and you squeeze his hand weakly as his eyes close and you sniff. Your own tears begin to burn at your eyes.

“David, hey. David. Loki. Loke.” Your throat aches but you swallow, blinking wet trails down your cheeks. Your other hand rests on your abdomen and your gaze flickers towards it, seeing nothing there. You lift up the covers, hand travelling over your hospital gown and lift it up to find nothing but smooth skin. Raising your head despite the screaming in your neck to stop, you gaze down at yourself. Nothing. Furrowing your brow, you drag your hand up to your face where the crow had pecked at your cheek. Nothing. Nothing. “Oh, my god.” You let your head drop into the pillows with a relieved smile, and the tears that run down your face are anything but misery.

“Are you okay?” His lips move against your fingers, his eyes never leaving your face as you sink into the pillows in relief. Your whole body seems to melt as a wave of cool washes over you. It chases away the uncomfortable heat growing in your stomach and lets you close your eyes. But you don’t/

You turn to gauge his reaction, instead. “Yeah, yeah. I just… had a lotta dreams about birds.”

It’s crazy just how fast a face can change. All of a sudden, his fingers tighten around your palm, his eyes squint and shine, he looks so much older and your weak smile prompts one of his own smiles, barely there, just a hint. It causes an old wound in your heart to nearly split open, aching like an old joint in the rain.

“Yeah?”

You slip your hand from his grip, drag your knuckle over his cheek and he kisses your wrist where the IV isn’t digging into your skin. “Yeah.” You blink slowly, savoring every bit of his face and you sigh. “I had a dream about her, too.”

“Yeah, me, too,” he whispers and your lower lip trembles before the tears come. You feel so exhausted. You just want to sink into a bunch of clouds and sleep a century with him by your side. You’re just so sick of crying.

“I love you,” you sob, pulling his hands towards you. You need more of him near, more of his heat and his scent and him, and your fingers catch his sleeve. He gets up, the chair scraping against the floor and you open your arms. He settles into bed beside you, careful not to crush your IV and you turn to press your lips against his hair. “I love you. I’m so sorry. I love you.”

“Why the hell are you sorry?” he asks into your collarbones and you melt when his fingers trace the tiniest of shapes into your back. “Fuck.” Your tears slip down your face, nestling into his slick hair and your fingers gently scratch his head, tracing over the edge of the bandage as he lets out a soft groan. “If I had to bury you, too, I don’t… I don’t know how—”

“You don’t have to,” you promise, and he looks up at you, eyes porcelain blue, fragile as wisps of smoke, alight with new life. You feel the broken pieces of him click together in your arms as he tentatively presses a kiss against the corner of your mouth. Curls of hair fall boyishly into his eyes and you push them back with your inked hand.

“Get some rest,” he whispers against your jaw and you close your eyes. His heat envelopes you and your heart feels like it stitches itself back together as the bits of yourself you lost so many years ago come back like a moth to a flame. “I’ll be right here when you wake up. I promise.”

He tucks into the semi-colon of your body, a little snug nuclear radiator comma that holds the shattered pieces of you together and keeps you safe as you slip away, at last, to a deep sleep.

“Can you stand? Are you okay?” David’s voice is so warped in worry you nearly smile at how much it reminds you of another time, when he was worried for a whole other reason. You’ve been transferred into the same recovery room as David and he sits on the edge of his bed, hands out. His face is red in the light, his eye looking like it’s been sucker punched in the socket, and he looks much worse for wear than the ICU, but the small cut from where you’d punched him what feels like days ago is just beginning to heal.

“I think I’ll use the wheelchair when we go for a walk,”’ you say, your legs shaky as soon as they brush the floor. “Yeah, walking is not going to happen, right now.” David takes hold of your hands and you take a deep breath as he comes to sit next to you. Sunbeams stream against your back, and you nearly sigh at the heat of him next to you again. It’s so familiar.

It feels a lot like home.

“Not much of a walk then, is it?” he teases, stealing your breakfast placed at the table on the end of your bed. He puts the newspaper in your lap and you take it, unfolding the page to reveal Alex Jones on the front. You sigh. The man’s been transferred to a mental care facility after reuniting with his family, and you’re quite sure that he won’t ever make a full recovery. You fold the newspaper in half, and spot the picture of Keller. Eyes scanning it briefly, you look at the man beside you.

“Still haven’t found him yet?”

“No. No sign of him anywhere.” You unfold the newspaper and he opens up a fruit cup. It’s the most appetizing thing out of all the assortment on your tray. You send him a soft smile, leaning against his shoulder as he digs his spoon in.

“Um, detectives?”

You lower your paper, the thing crushing in your lap as Loki sets down the fruit cup. Your eyes widen. You hadn’t expected to see them so soon. Grace Dover stands with Joy, Nancy Birch, and little Anna in her wheelchair. The poor girl is pale and dark-eyed, the chair dwarfing her. Your heart rends.

“I hope we’re not interrupting.”

“No, ‘course not.”

As the girl comes closer, you spot the shiny red whistle around her neck. David shakes his head, a tentative, soft smile that makes your heart melt on his lips as you set the paper aside. Your eyes train on the tiny girl who stares at you with a burning fire as her mother leans down to stroke her cheek.

“She’s doing real good.” You turn to look at David to see his eyes chained on the little girl and you wrap an arm around his waist, squeezing gently. “She’s gonna be up and around in a few days, aren’t you, buddy? She just wanted to come and say thank you and hi to her heroes.”

Your small smile grows at the defiant little raise of her chin and David’s hand on your knee squeezes gently as he looks down, unable to figure out what to say. He exhales through his nose, glancing from his knees to you. You nod, smile shrinking but growing more tender.

“Hello.”

“Hey, Anna.”

Your hand falls away from David’s waist and joins his hand on your knee. Your fingers interlock softly. Grace looks between the injured detectives and her company before clearing her throat minutely.

“Would you mind giving me a minute?”

“Yeah. Say goodbye, Joy.”

“Thank you.”

“I’ll be out in a minute. Say goodbye, Anna.”

“Bye,” Anna whispers just barely, fingers lifting to wave and you send the little girl a smile in farewell.

You give a little half-wave, too, as she goes and Grace smiles after her daughter as she leaves. When the room, however, is left to the three adults, the temperature drops. You shuffle closer to David, arm weaving with his despite the strange pain that festers in your legs. The hospital gown isn’t enough to fit the cold grief in her face.

“She found her whistle,” David murmurs. Your head, still full of water, tries to nod but it explodes in pain, and David turns to support your neck immediately, gently lowering you onto his shoulder with a warm hand to your throat. Grace’s gaze soaks in the gesture but she doesn’t comment on it as she replies.

“No. She keeps insisting that Joy helped her find it… on Thanksgiving before they were taken. But I think she’s just confused. I got her a new one.”

David nods and you press your temple into the cotton of his tee, sniffing in the smell of antiseptic. The smell is all too familiar, and reminds you of a lot of things — good and bad. Your nose twitches and his thumb runs over your pinky knuckle. He’s here. He’s here with you. Always has been. Since the beginning.

A strange silence encompasses the air as Grace’s gaze sinks to the floor. She lets out a sharp breath, something more of a scoff as if she doesn’t know whether or not to tell you before she raises her head. “He hasn’t contacted me. I know you don’t… I know you probably don’t believe that—”

“We believe you,” you whisper and Grace nods, eyes dropping again.

“Do you think you’re gonna find him?”

“Yeah.”

“And he’ll go to jail?”

“Probably.”

The charges would be stacked. Kidnapping, assault, depending on what he’s sued with, it’ll be multiple charges. You shiver at the thought of the court case. You tried your best to save him, yet here he is. The fingerprints he left, the location, the blood-stained clothes, all too much incriminating evidence for you to argue against. Not that you would.

“Anyway, thank you for everything.” The woman’s face crumbles and you press your lips together in a sympathetic frown. Her voice fades and she turns away, slapping a hand over her mouth and David’s hand slides over yours, squeezing tight. “Oh, god.” She pauses at the exit, and David looks away as your eyes train on the woman’s barely-shaking shoulders. Breath hitching, she turns just barely, just enough that you can see her red cheek, the soft tears. “I miss him. He did — he did what he had to do to find Anna, and I thank God for that. He’s a good man.”

The woman leaves with a barely uttered farewell and you can only echo her ‘bye’ before she’s gone. You watch her go before David presses a kiss to your temple unconsciously, shoulders curving forward.

He is, your thoughts whisper. Good men do desperate things for the people they love. Your gaze flickers to David who’s already looking off at the wall, no doubt letting those words sink in, and you, you just sag in the bed. Everything in his eyes is just a reflection, an extension of who you are, and you twist your wrist, interlacing your fingers with his.

“David,” you whisper, and he blinks hard, turning to look at you. Your free fingers reach to brush along his jaw, and you lean forward to press your forehead against his cheek.

“Wanna go for a walk?” he asks, quiet and soft. You raise your head, fingers falling to dance over his forearm where a calligraphy tattoo marks him and your lips press together in a tired smile. He glances down at the ink on your knuckles, at you and you kiss him softly.

“Okay.”

He helps you into the wheelchair. A nurse doesn’t have to accompany you since David is getting discharged this afternoon, and you grab a blanket for your legs, covering the hospital gown. David helps you shrug on a jacket and the two of you walk out into the walkways surrounding the hospital. It’s a bare garden, leaves stripped away and melting snow dotting bushes as the two of you set off on a path.

The fresh wet wind curls against your cheek and you inhale, letting the coldness of it slink into your body.

“You were right,” you begin once you think you’re away from prying ears. No one is outside besides the two of you, and your eyes flicker from the tree branches to the benches. You’re quite sure it’s lively and lovely and green other times of the year. A small slice of Eden for those suffering in your mortal world.

“About what?”

“It wasn’t that case,” you say simply. You reach up to touch one of his hands and you just place your palm over his, despite the cold wind nipping at your knuckles.

“Yeah. I… I heard her, the aunt, talk to you. I… she was the one who did it, and I’m really fucking glad she’s dead.” You turn in your chair to look up at him but he doesn’t look at you. Against the pale grey sky, he looks ashen, the blood red of his cheek the only sign of life in him. You squeeze his hand. “Fuck.”

“What is it?”

“We’ve cut so much shit out of our lives because of her, you know?” he says, parking you by a bench in the shade of a bare tree. The bench is mostly dry and he swipes off the snow before sitting down as close as he can to you. “And I’m grateful. I’m grateful that you stayed and I stayed but… but there are so many things we could’ve done, I…”

“You think we cut her out?” you ask gently, brow furrowing. “I… I didn’t know we were trying to burn her memory away.”

“You didn’t?”

“No, I… I didn’t.” You look into your lap, fingers playing with a stray thread of the hospital jacket. “I thought you bought those gummies on purpose. The candies you keep on your dash? They… they were her favourite, y’know? And the tattoos, right here.” You tap his knuckles where astrology signs are inked darkly into him. “When did you get them? Three, four years after?” Right after our dog died. She loved that dog, you realize. His eyes widen and his breaths come short as he watches you. She’s ruled our whole lives since she's been gone, you tell him silently. Outloud, you point out, “They’re each of our astrology signs.”

“I thought you wouldn’t notice.”

“I’m a detective, David. It’s my job to notice things.” You slot your fingers with his. “We’ve never had peace with it, huh.”

“Of course not. Shit. Just… shit.” He leans into you, his head nestling against your shoulder and you tilt your head to press your cheek into his hair. “I miss her. I fucking miss her.”

“I know, baby.”

It’s so quiet here, peaceful, and you feel like you don’t ever want to move from this place. Everything here… it’s what you want now. Quiet. His fingers dance over the ink on your knuckles as your eyes close, nail tracing every number along your skin.

1 9 9 6

Keller Dover is in surgery for eight hours.

It’s meticulous work, digging out a bullet and saving a tourniquet-bound leg. You sit at the police station, awaiting word in the Captain’s office as David paces back and forth. The two of you may have been discharged, but you’re supposed to be taking it easy.

This is not taking it easy.

The Captain glances at the two of you.

“I didn’t know… that that was the reason this case was so important to you,” he begins and David sends the man a glare. He means well, you guess, he just can’t help not knowing things. You slouch into the couch, playing with the masonic ring you’ve taken to wearing again along your thumb. David’s matching ring glints in the light as he tugs at the gold chain around his neck. The words engraved on the inside of the gold band press into your skin.

“We had a reason to keep it a secret, Captain, but everyone fucking knew.”

“If I knew, neither of you would’ve been on the case.”

“If you knew, Anna wouldn’t have been found,” you retort distantly. David sits beside you, his hand finding the small of your back and you look at him, twisting the ring around your thumb. “Respectfully, sir, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t bring it up at all.”

“Of course. The two of you have done fine work,” he praises and you take hold of David’s knee. “The P.S.P. are breathing down my neck in an effort to snag the both of you.” Your mouth nearly drops open and you straighten up, blinking. Your eyebrows knit together as David cocks his head. “They want you for their Criminal Investigation Unit. Good pay, perks. Better than what you can get here.”

Captain drinks his brandy, and you rub David’s knee, getting his attention.

Quiet, you tell him. Like that hospital garden. We can have that here. David’s hand on your back reaches up to cup your neck before he looks up at the Captain. He blinks, hard, and the red skin along his eye wrinkles when only hints of a smile curl at his mouth.

“Tell them we’ll stay,” he whispers. “We’ll stay here.” You touch the chain hanging around his neck, the one he hid underneath shirts and sweaters and now one he shows openly, and you smile at the golden letter that hangs on it. The Captain bows his head, draining the rest of his brandy and setting the glass on the table before heading out of the office.

“I’ll make the call. The two of you… thank you for staying.” He sends you both a nod and David gives a pressed smile to your boss. The door clicks shut. Your fingers slip over the golden R and you sigh, pressing your forehead into the curve of his neck. His thumb strokes the cord of your throat as he turns to kiss your hair.

“Maybe we should buy a house,” David mutters aloud and you smile, using your other hand to run over his ribs, run over the robin mid flight on his heaving chest. He takes hold of your wandering hand, dipping his head to look at you. You trace the tattoo of the cross as he holds you tight. “Get out of that flat.”

“That’d be nice.” You curl against him as the two of you lean into the couch and he hoists your legs into his lap as his hair falls over his eyes. You tuck it back with a smile, lifting your chin to kiss the marble of his cheek. It’s still an angry red, but you’re used to it. It means he’s healing, and so are you. “But I wanna go visit her first.”

“Really?” His voice rumbles in his chest and you close your eyes. You could fall asleep to his voice, through the nightmares, through the memories. He holds you close to him and you press your cheek against the cotton of his grey tee.

“Yeah. Yeah, I think we should.”

“Okay.”

“But in a minute.” Your hands fist the fabric of his shirt and it twists underneath your palms. “I just… I just need a moment with you.” His lips find your hairline, hands soothing away the ache of ketamine in your system and you nearly shiver at the memory of the vulture in your stomach. He traces your side, the curve of your thighs, the bow of your lips and you feel a smile pull at your mouth.

Rough stone has been picked away from your skin, smoothed away with sandpaper and chiselled off with a hammer until all that is left is soft skin and a mind that knows better than to make the same mistakes. Summer heat kisses your flesh in the heart of winter as David runs his lips over the inside of your wrist, the tips of your fingers. He simply indulges, and so do you.

He is ceramic in your hands, glass, malleable metal that bends at your touch and you press a sneaking kisses down his neck, at every point of the tattooed star.

“We should’ve been better,” he whispers when you’ve exhausted yourself in lazy and sweet kisses and have resorted to just sitting on the couch, legs tangled together, bodies pressed in inexplicable heat. “Just… just been better for her.”

“Yeah, well… I have to believe this is what was meant to be.” Your eyelashes brush against his cheek as your words ghost against his jaw. “After everything… you’re still here, aren’t you?”

He smiles — you can feel it — and so do you. “So are you.” He turns his head away to look at the clock and he sighs, detaching himself with a groan. “We’ve gotta get outta here. You hungry?” You straighten your legs, sitting up on the couch as David stands and runs his hands through his hair.

“Yeah. I know a place.” He sticks out a hand towards you. You grin and place your hand in his. As he pulls you up, you can’t help the words that slip out. “We’ve gotta figure out your zodiac sign.”

You set the bunch of flowers down, white flowers bright against the grey stone as you kneel in the dry dirt. The lavender looks like it wilts in the wind as David crouches beside you, reaching forward to touch the stone.

He looks like a man scorned, but a bitter smile still finds its way onto his face as you set down the glass container full to the brim with gummies. Kissing his necklace, David closes his eyes and sits down flat next to you. You brush your fingers over the etched letters and an emptiness inside you grows as you take in the polished thing. You haven’t come here… in so long. It’s been so long. Your heart falls apart again as you press a kiss to the stone.

“I’m sorry we haven’t been here in a while, honey,” David rasps, fingers trembling as he runs them over. “We’ve been so busy and fuck, I miss you so much. I… I know someone’s been takin’ good care of you up there. God, probably. You know he loves his angels.” You watch as his face crumbles and you close your eyes, a shivering breath crawling out of your mouth as you bow your head. “You’re still my baby girl. I didn’t forget you, I promise. I love you. I love you.” His forehead presses against the stone and you open your eyes as tears slip down your nose and cheeks, catching on the bow of your lips before dripping onto dry dirt.

“We saved a little girl,” you begin, the words burning through your throat and chest. The weak smile that surfaces shakes uncontrollably as you let out a breath, muscles aching. “She reminded me a lot of you, and I know that doesn’t mean shit, because you’re still gone, but it just… it felt good. Knowing I could save her when I couldn’t save you. Although,” you murmur, “your daddy saved the both of us.” Polished stone glides over your fingertips. “I love you so much, darling. Your daddy killed the woman who took you. She’s going to hell, now, and you can rest.”

“You know your daddy. No one hurts his girls without paying for it,” David murmurs, lips brushing against the stone. His eyes are shut tight, tears tracking down his blotchy skin, and you reach over with a quavering hand to brush them away. One of his hand flies to yours, holding your palm to his face and he kisses the heel of your hand.

“We’ll be okay, without you. I think… I think we’ll be okay.” You sniff, a laugh biting through your pain as your other hand flattens against the stone. You can almost feel her… feel her presence. A tiny body against yours, warm like a fire and smelling like clean sheets and chocolate. Ribbons of tears cool against the wind as you press your cheek against the top of the stone. “I love you. Daddy loves you.”

“I love you so much, baby.” His eyes closed, his breaths mist in the air as you reach out for his hand on the stone. Immediately, his fingers lace with yours. “You keep me going. You and your mom.” He sends you a weak smile and your hand his cheek strokes away the fresh, hot tears that warm your skin despite the winter wind biting at your fingers. The two of you sit there around the tombstone for what feels like hours, pouring your souls out, and you weep when snow begins to fall. A bird caws in the distance and you raise your head as a tiny little thing flits to a branch above your head.

The red-breast creature chirps and a wet, desperate smile makes its way onto your face. You want to believe that, despite everything, this is your little girl. The bird chirps again, and you turn to your…

Your something.

“You think it’s her?” you whisper and he chuckles throatily, kissing your tear-stained cheek with tear-stained lips.

“I think she’s telling us to get off our asses and get some rest,” he replies. Snowflakes land on your skin like feathers and you lick them away from your lips. “You telling us to go home, baby?”

The bird chirps and the two of you smile. Your fingers find his, his interlock with yours. You kiss the stone farewell, and stand. David lingers still, and you swallow the cold that settles in your gut as you squeeze his hand.

“See you soon, baby,” he whispers and you pull him up. You nudge the glass container closer to the stone as you blow a kiss to the sky. “Come on. Let’s go home.” You wrap an arm around his waist and nod, the knots in your throat preventing you from uttering a single word. The emptiness inside you is more pronounced, you think, as you walk through the cemetery, but you feel a lot more human, too. You know that hole inside you won’t ever fill, but perhaps it’s something that doesn’t need to be fixed.

You lift your head to the drifting snow as you walk to the car together. All is silent in this solemn winter land and you pull off the masonic ring, fingertip running over the inscription.

The same inscription carved into the stone you’ve left behind.

Robin Loki

1996-2003

David presses a kiss against your wet smile as he twists the keys in the ignition. You chuckle, wiping at your cheeks and you reach for the container of gummies on his dash. The Sedan rolls into motion and you sink into the chair, eyes closing.

To say you love Loki…

Maybe it’s not so much of a stretch after all.

tags: @woah-jess @jenlrose @mytinybaguette @arcaneloki @space-helen @dulharpa @bohemianrhapsody86 @bubblemyg @sataninsatin @detectivelokiisabae @deviantly-gayy

#fic: 1996 #prisoners #prisoners 2013 #detective loki #detective loki x reader #detective loki x you #detective loki x y/n #detective loki x yn #detective loki imagine #detective loki fanfiction #jake gyllenhaal #jake gyllenhaal x reader #jake gyllenhaal x you #jake gyllenhaal x yn #jake gyllenhaal x y/n #jake gyllenhaal fanfiction #jake gyllenhaal fanfic #my writing

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harleyquilt · 7 years

Text

Missing you (touken fanfic 2/2)

Summary: Touka and Kaneki’s first night alone from each other when kaneki leaves for the expedition. Please enjoy and please excuse any grammar mistakes.

Ratings: fluff?

Words: 1675

Touka glanced over to the clock and grunted when seeing it was already one in the morning. Frustrated, she shoved the covers off and kicked the wall besides her, cursing at the pain before she finally left the bed. She walked over to the sink, splashing her face with cold water and looked up to a disheveled reflection of herself. She grimaced at her sunken eyes.

“If I’m not careful, I’m gonna end up looking like him.” She brushed her fingers under her eyebags, her eyes narrowed. “I need coffee.”

After she stumbled her way to the kitchen, she made herself a cup of coffee, the sweet fragrance already waking her up. It was the first night in a long while that she slept on her own and she was already struggling to sleep without kaneki by her side; she would fall asleep but after every hour or two, she’d wake when reaching out for kaneki only to remember he was no longer here. At one point, she even fell out of the bed trying to find him. The baby didn’t make it easy for her either whilst it took every ounce of her energy as it saw fit.

Touka took a long sip of her coffee, sighing as she placed the cup back down and leaned her head back against the wall. How pathetic. She never suffered from this kind of problem before, so why is it such a big deal now?

Her stomach growled, touka looked down and started to rub her stomach. What will the child be like, she wondered. Even with the rare circumstance that it could even survive, touka couldn’t help but imagine the future of holding her child close to her chest, humming a lullaby to calm it to sleep before tucking it away in their new crib with a rabbit toy that kaneki will no doubt want to buy for them.

Her stomach growled again and touka stilled her hand. That fear that constantly loomed in her mind reminded her of the very real possibly that maybe…no. She shook her head, refusing to let her doubts get the better of her. She had to stay strong. For him. For the baby. Even with everything pointing down the darker outcome, she must remain hopeful that there will be a future for them.

Within minutes, touka gulped down the last of her coffee, savouring the taste before she decided to go back to her room and hope that this time she would be lucky enough to sleep all the way till morning.

“Onee-chan?” Touka heard Hinami call out, her figure stood at the end of one of the dark hallways. “Why are you still up?”

“I could ask the same for you.” Touka said as she walked over to her. “I guess I’m not comfortable sleeping…on..my..own.”

She stammered with her words, eyes darted away with her hand covered over her cheeks whilst she confessed her problem. Hinami giggled in response, always so delightful when she saw touka finally together with kaneki. She always knew they belonged to each other, it was only a matter of time but to see them now was still a overwhelming sight to take in.

“A-anyway, what about you?” Touka shifted the subject to focus back to hinami instead. “You know how late it is?”

“I can’t sleep either.” She quickly objected, fidgeting with the hem of her skirt. “I’m just…scared. With Onii-chan and the others gone and ayato still exploring the underground…I’m just worried that something could happen to them.“

Touka smiled and started to head back towards her room whilst she linked arms with hinami, continuing their conversation as they walked down the empty, quiet halls.

“That’s understandable,” touka nodded. “Don’t worry, I can see that you care deeply for them and I have without a doubt in my mind that they will return, safe and sound. All you need is a little patience. If you’re ever scared, lonely or worried, you can always come to me or miza-san.”

Truth was, touka knew exactly of how she felt. The fear consumed every part of their bodies as their worries clawed through their minds, always reminded of the dark possibility that the horror they feared lurked behind every corner, ready to pounce when they least suspected it. However, pointing this out wouldn’t help anyone so touka does what she knows best and decided to the become the support hinami needed.

“I guess you’re right, Onee-chan.” Hinami averted her gaze to the ground, squeezing touka’s arm. “I’m just over thinking, as usual.”

“I’m sure Ayato-kun would be flattered to hear you care so much for his safe being.” Touka laughed as hinami cheeks turned a rosy pink, her eyes widened at the mention of Ayato’s name.

They reached the bedroom and the two girls took a seat on the bed covered in soft pillows. Hinami laughed unsurprised when touka explained that the extensive amount of pillows was all kaneki’s idea.

“Are you ok, Onee-chan?” Hinami asked, a concerned look on her face with the lighthearted atmosphere quickly becoming serious. Hinami watched touka as she awaited her response and touka fidgeted in her seat whilst under hinami’s intense gaze.

“Of course.” Touka replied cheerfully, forcing out the smile she would often use when working in the cafe. Though hinami wasn’t fooled and crossed her arms, her brow raised.

“Tell me the truth.” She demanded.

“I’m not lying.” She pinched hinami’s cheek and laid back into the pillows. “Now let’s try to sleep. I don’t want to be the reason why you end up dropping dead in the middle of the day because we decided to have a late night girl chat.”

“Fine. But we’re talking about this tomorrow.”

Hinami rested her head onto touka’s lap and wrapped one of the spare blankets around her, touka stroking her fingers through hinami’s soft hair. It wasn’t long before she fell asleep, breathing softly as she nuzzeled her face into touka’s knee. She looked so peaceful and at ease, almost as if all those worries she confessed earlier on were nothing more than a bad dream.

Touka, on the other hand, couldn’t do the same. Instead, she carefully lifted her pillow, making sure not to wake hinami and took the keychain she hid underneath. The small bunny rested in her hand with its chubby white cheeks, raised paw and red headband. There was a sudden sense of nostalgia that ran through touka and sent a chill down her spine. It was almost identical to the one kaneki gave her last time. Last time. When kaneki was still…

Hinami stirred in her sleep and nuzzeled her face into touka’s leg as if it were one of the many pillows around her and pulled touka out of her deep trance. Her thumb rubbed over the small gift but with a slight frown on her expression. He had changed so much and yet, at the same time, so little as he continues to live a life of struggle that he never asked for.

Back then, kaneki was unstable; he paraded around as the tragic hero he so desired to be in the eyes of his companions and all the while, behind the mask, lurked a dark selfishness and anxiety of being alone. It was clear that as time went on, the mask could only hide so much, but it seemed that touka was the only one who could see the truth behind the lie. Even then, on that day on the bridge, she couldn’t pull him back to the place he once called home. It’s possible that she even made it worse.

Now, after time has passed and their bodies changed, kaneki seemed to have improved over the past few months. It certainly was a drastic change to the ‘black reaper’ touka only heard rumours on through the whispers and mumbles in the cafe, but it was also clear that kaneki was still struggling to hold everything on his own shoulders for the sake of peace. Touka tried her best to lighten the weight of this overbearing pressure that worned him down with each passing day, but there was only so much she could do.

And now with the baby, she feared that yet again, she had only made it worse for her husband. She believed him when he told her that he was glad, but the continually growing eyebags and his pale complexion was enough to tell her the truth that the news of a possible child was still affecting him. Had she really helped him at all? It just seemed like this endless cycle to him and touka couldn’t do a God damn thing about it and when she did, she only made it worse.

“Touka-chan.”

She started to think back the other night before he left, shutting her eyes and sighing.

“Touka-chan? Are you awake?”

He was so talkative that night, guilty that he was too busy to spend more time with touka before he left. It made her heart both flutter and ache as she yawned and rubbed her eyes.

“Sorry for waking you I just…wanted to tell you something. I’ve seen you worry about me constantly lately and it’s so heartwarming to see you care so much.”

He always was so corny.

“But I just want you to know that as long as you’re here, you don’t have anything to worry about. You make me so happy that simple words cannot describe. I hope you know that.”

Jeez, how can someone look so cute with that smile.

“You honestly save me after everyday, always supporting me when I start to struggle or doubt myself. Without you…I don’t know what I would do.”

He exaggerated so much.

“I love you, touka-chan. Once this is over, I’m going to-”

“Kaneki.” His name escaped her lips and she lay down with hinami shifted to the opposite end, touka clinging onto one the pillows with her new keychain still in hand. She rested her other hand over her bite mark, rubbing over the sensitive skin that felt warm under her touch.

“I love you too.”

She finally relaxed and she drifted off peacefully into a deep sleep with hinami by her side.

#tokyo ghoul #tgre #touken #kanetou #fanfic #my writing #touka kirishima #kaneki ken #hinami fueguchi #kaneki x touka #eh nothing rlly exciting #But I tried #Oh how I try

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greysfanpage388 · 7 years

Text

You’re My Inspiration

Prompt: Hayley (Private practice) from rehab comes in the ER looking for help with her injuries shes got because she’s high. April talks about her and Amelia hears about it and runs to Hayley’s patient room. She helps her to get clean and they talk about each others lives and what’s been up since they said goodbye.

Author’s Note : So this would be integrated into my family fic universe, which you can check out here:

http://ailingnoor.tumblr.com/post/152986382171/family-fics-masterpost

In this fic- Amelia is 2 months pregnant with their first child, Charlotte Addison.

Thank you to the girls in the group chat and Heli @fight-till-u-cant-fight-anymore for answering my questions about Hailey from PP :) I’m still a few episodes away from watching her, but I can’t wait to write this fic ;)

Heli- this fic is for you- because I know you’re the one who sent the prompt and your url name is one of Amelia’s quotes which would appear in this fic ;)

Thank you also to the amazing Julisa @jia911 for helping me to proofread this fic and give feedback!!

Additional note : I’ve to admit- Hailey in PP is what I feel deep down in my heart and Amelia’s advice is what I subconsciously wish someone would tell me. Which is why this fic is rather personal to me.

Anyways, enough of my rambling- I really hope you all enjoy this fic!! <3 <3 Please do let me know what you think!!

______________________________________________________________

Amelia Shepherd leaned against the ER nurses counter as she finished writing her review of a 16 year old patient who suffered persistent headaches and vomiting.

‘Wilson, can you arrange Robert for the next available MRI slot? ’she ordered Jo Wilson as she passed the electronic chart to the resident.

‘ Right at your service, Dr. Shepherd.’ Jo answered.

Ever since Stephanie Edwards quit, Jo Wilson had been the resident on Amelia’s service. Although Amelia still missed Stephanie and her enthusiasm towards neuro, she had to admit that Jo had been growing on her. Jo had recently started to show interest in neuro- requesting to be on Amelia’s service more frequently and scrubbing in on her neurological procedures.

‘ Nadia, can you book a room for him? ’she instructed one of the nurses at the counter.

‘ Sure, Dr. Shepherd.’Nadia nodded in reply.

Amelia was popular among the nurses too- they didn’t mind doing tasks for her and following her orders because she was one of the more polite attendings who treated them like her equals.

‘ Thank you.’Amelia said as she took one last look at Robert’s electronic chart before handing it over to Jo. ‘Wilson - do update me on his progress and inform me once the MRI results are out.’

Jo nodded as she took the electronic chart from Amelia.

Satisfied that Robert has been settled- Amelia placed the electronic chart on the nurses counter and looked around the busy ER. She wanted to single out the cases which might require neuro review. She had this talent of spotting neuro cases at a glance. She had a craniotomy scheduled in a couple of hours, and wanted to make sure that she had reviewed all the neuro patients in the ER before she left.

‘ Shepherd! Just the person I’m looking for!’ said April cheerfully, as she strode towards Amelia, holding a patient’s electronic chart.

‘ I need to refer a patient to you. She’s a 24 year old who fell down the stairs at her home and had multiple bruises and a possible broken wrist. She was brought in by her housemates- I believe they’re all university students. I need to rule out head injury because she’s complaining of a headache and has a laceration wound on her forehead.’ April continued, talking fast as she handed Amelia the patient’s chart.

Amelia looked down at the chart and stopped on her tracks as she saw the patient’s name. It was Hailey, the young woman she had met and gotten close to when she was in rehab 6 years ago. Hailey was her closest friend when she was in rehab, and was the only person who spoke to her and cured her loneliness during her darkest moments there. They both knew each other’s deepest and darkest secrets and were each other’s rock and support while in rehab. She had always wondered where Hailey was, whether she did follow her advice to become sober and find a stable job.

And now that their paths have crossed again, she couldn’t be more excited. She had always dreamt of meeting her friend again.

‘She’s in ER4.’ informed April, as she strode alongside Amelia, oblivious to her colleague’s reaction upon seeing the patient’s chart. ‘A rather quiet lady. How do I say this in a polite way- she seems to be showing signs and symptoms of using.’

At this, Amelia abruptly turned her head to look at April. ‘ Using ?’she asked, her eyebrows raised.

‘ Yes, using drugs.’ April explained.‘ They just seem to have this look- sunken and blood shot eyes, a thin and pale complexion, tremor in their hands and voice.’

‘ I know what it means.’ Amelia answered. Before she could tell April that she knew Hailey, a resident came running behind them, breathless.

‘ Dr. Kepner! We have incoming trauma.’ the resident called out to April.

‘ Ok, I’ll leave you with the patient. ’April smiled as she tapped Amelia’s shoulder and ran towards the ambulance bay.

Amelia stopped outside ER4 and took a deep breath to prepare herself. She didn’t know what to expect, as she had not seen Hailey or kept in touch with her ever since she walked out of rehab 6 years ago.

_______________________________________________________________

As she finally entered Hailey’s room, her heart sank.

She almost couldn’t recognize her. Hailey looked so much thinner than when she last saw her. She had eyebags and her eyes were bloodshot. It was obvious that she had been using. Her right arm was in a cast, and she had stitches on her forehead.

‘ Hailey.’ Amelia whispered as she walked over to her.

Hailey slowly looked up as their eyes met. Her initial shocked expression gradually turned into a smile. She couldn’t believe her eyes. Her best friend in rehab was there, wearing scrubs and a labcoat. During those lonely nights in bed, she would stare up at the ceiling- wondering where Amelia was and whether she managed to have a decent job and family. She remembered her long chat sessions with Amelia in rehab about their past, their struggle with addiction and their dreams for the future. She herself wanted to become a doctor, and Amelia wanted to be the top neurosurgeon in the country. They both encouraged each other to never give up pursuing their dreams.

And now, she was still struggling with addiction and barely passed her first year of medical school while Amelia most probably had made a name for herself in this hospital. She suddenly looked down, ashamed, pretending to be interested in the hospital blanket covering her. She had promised Amelia the day Amelia stepped out of rehab that she would be sober, but she had failed miserably in her promise. Now fate had it that they both met again and she couldn’t bear to face Amelia after breaking her promise to her.

Looking at Hailey- Amelia felt compassion for her. The young woman looked so defeated, ashamed and crestfallen, she wondered what happened to make her that way.

Amelia slowly walked towards Hailey’s bed, wondering what was the best way to approach her old friend.

‘ Hailey- it’s so nice to see you. ‘ she greeted as they both exchanged a hug. ‘ How have you been?’

Hailey didn’t answer as she hugged Amelia tighter.

‘ So according to Dr.Kepner you fell down the stairs and knocked your head?’Amelia asked softly once Hailey had released her hold.

Hailey nodded. ‘Yes, I’m very clumsy.’

‘ I see you hurt your wrist as well.’Amelia said casually as she eyed the cast on Hailey’s left hand.

Hailey nodded wordlessly and turned away from Amelia. She just couldn’t bear to face her friend whom she broke her promise to.

Unfazed by Hailey’s actions, Amelia continued her questions.

‘ Do you have any dizziness? Nausea? Vomiting?’ she asked as she took the pentorch out of her labcoat pocket.

‘No.’Hailey answered.

‘ Any blurring of vision?’

‘Nope.’Hailey shook her head.

‘ Ok, that’s good. Can you look at my finger, I need to examine you.’ Amelia instructed gently.

Amelia proceeded to examine Hailey’s pupils and vision which turned out to be normal.

‘ Ok Hailey- let me explain what’s gonna happen.’ said Amelia as she sat on the chair by Hailey’s bedside and held her hands.

‘ From my examination- you are fine and don’t have a brain bleed. But I want to do a CT scan on your brain to be sure. Is it ok?’

Hailey nodded. ‘ Amelia- will you be with me throughout the procedure?’ she asked, suddenly feeling alone and afraid. Her housemates had bundled her into her car and dropped her off at the ER before leaving again.

‘ Yes, I’ll be with you.’Amelia promised.

‘ Ok.’ Hailey smiled.

‘ I’ll call the interns and the radiology department to prep you first.’ Amelia said as she tapped Hailey’s shoulder.

_______________________________________________________________

‘ They’ll call you to CT soon.’Amelia informed as she reentered the room a few minutes later.

Hailey nodded, her back facing Amelia.

‘ Hailey.’ Amelia whispered as she slowly walked over to her bed and sat on the bedside chair again.

She gently took Hailey’s hands in hers as their eyes met. So many words remained unexchanged between them. Hailey’s eyes were sad and downcast, Amelia’s eyes were full of love and compassion.

‘ I’m sorry, Amelia. I’m so sorry.’said Hailey as tears began pooling in her eyes. ‘ I know I made a promise to be sober and to follow my dreams to be whoever I want to be. And I’ve failed in my promise. I’ve failed, Amelia.’ she added in a quivering voice as tears began rolling down her cheeks.

Amelia reached out her hands to cup Hailey’s face as she used one thumb to rub away her tears.

‘ You haven’t failed, Hailey.’she said. ‘ You’re still here and you are still alive. You’re so young and have a full life ahead of you. I was older than you when I got sober.’

Hailey sniffled and looked up at Amelia. ‘ You know- I still remember your last words when you left rehab.’she said. ‘ You told me that I was beautiful and smart and could be whoever I wanted to be.’

Amelia nodded. She remembered vividly saying those words to Hailey as they hugged before she stepped foot out of rehab for the last time.

‘ Well, for a while, I kept to my promise. I kept repeating your words to myself daily. You were my inspiration, so I decided that I was going to become a doctor like you. I was eventually discharged again from rehab, and took a year off before I went on to college and then got into University of Washington Medical School.’said Hailey.

‘ Oh really? That’s wonderful, Hailey! You’re on your way to becoming a successful doctor!’ Amelia said smiling. She was genuinely thrilled that her friend managed to enter medical school and study to become a doctor.

Hailey shook her head sadly.

‘ Well, the good things ended there. In my first year of college, I met a wonderful guy named Kevin. He knew about my past addictions and still loved me unconditionally. He was so loving, caring and supportive of me. We had 4 wonderful years together. Then he got accepted into John Hopkins School of Medicine and I got accepted into University of Washington. We initially thought this distance wouldn’t separate us and that we could make this long distance thing work out. But after a couple of months, his calls became less frequent, and he would sound occupied whenever I called him. Then one day, he straight up told me during one of our phone conversations that he was in love with another girl.’ Hailey said in a shaky voice as a fresh wave of tears rolled down her cheeks.

‘ Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that.’ Amelia whispered. ‘ Men can be a**holes sometimes, pardon my lack of filter.’

Hailey smiled as she continued, sniffling. ‘ The first year of med school was the loneliest for me. My boyfriend dumped me, I barely had any friends there, and I was really struggling with my studies. Eventually, I turned to the only thing that could save me from the emptiness and loneliness I was feeling- drugs. I thought that I could take just one dose of oxy at first to temporarily remove myself from the harsh reality of life. But one packet became a second, and soon I couldn’t stop myself. I was high when I fell down the stairs just now.’ She drew a deep breath, relieved to be able to openly tell her story. Amelia was one of the very few people who really understood her and got to know her without judging her. She had always felt comfortable exposing her darkest secrets and her biggest flaws to Amelia.

Amelia squeezed Hailey’s hand in reassurance.

‘ You have not failed, Hailey. Everyday is a new opportunity to start anew. You’ve going to get through this like you always do. I know you have it in you. I know you can do this.’she said with conviction. ‘You have to start believing in yourself.’

Hailey nodded, deep in thought as she processed Amelia’s words.

Just then, an intern entered the room, announcing that Hailey could be sent for the CT brain scan.

_______________________________________________________________

Amelia was deep in concentration in front of the computer in the CT viewing room, viewing the images of Hailey’s brain popping up on the screen.

‘ Hailey, can you stay still for me?’ she spoke into the microphone ‘ Because if you move, we might not be able to get an accurate visualization of the brain.’ she explained.

‘ Ok, that’s better.’ she said as Hailey lied still while the CT machine continued processing the images of her brain.

She jumped in surprise as she felt a tap on her shoulder.

She turned around to see her husband standing beside her and smiling down at her.

‘ Gosh, Owen, you scared me.’she said, placing her hand on her chest.

‘ Sorry. ’he grinned as he gave her a quick peck on the cheek.

‘ A CT brain scan, I see.’Owen pointed out, shifting his attention to the screen.

‘ Yes, she’s an old friend of mine. ’said Amelia distractedly as she continued focusing on the brain images appearing on the screen.

Owen stooped closer to Amelia as he studied the images on the screen. ‘No brain bleed I see.’ he said.

‘ Shh…not so fast, this is only one area, you know that.’ Amelia whispered.

‘ You need to relax.’ said Owen as he started gently massaging Amelia’s shoulders. ‘ Why are you so tense?’

Amelia relaxed the frown she didn’t realize she was sporting on her face. She leaned back and let herself enjoy the sensation of her husband’s touch- all the while not taking her eyes off the computer screen.

‘ I was just trying to focus.’she answered. ‘ You show that expression too when you’re intensely focused on something- your eyebrows furrow, and to be honest, that turns me on.’

‘ Oh really? ’asked Owen, a surprised tone in his voice. ‘ I’m glad to know I turn you on. ’

Amelia rolled her eyes playfully in response as she continue scrolling down the images.

She closed her eyes for a moment as a sudden wave of nausea overtook her.

‘ Amelia- are you ok? You feeling nauseous again?’Owen asked concerned, his mommy tracking mode taking over.

Amelia took a deep breath and exhaled slowly as the nausea subsided. ‘Yeah, I’m fine.’she replied with a dismissive wave of her hand.

‘ Have you eaten? ’Owen asked.

Amelia paused for a moment, trying to recall when was the last time she ate. Probably breakfast early that morning before work.

‘No’ she admitted meekly. ‘ My schedule was too packed, I had surgery after surgery and so many patients to review in the ER.’she explained.

‘ Amelia- I told you so many times that you have to eat. You’re eating for two now. Our baby needs to eat too.’said Owen firmly but gently.

‘ I know, I’ll eat after this.’said Amelia. ‘ I promise, ok?’

Owen shook his head. He had a feeling that she wouldn’t keep to her promise.

‘I’ll accompany you to the cafeteria to eat after this. ’he offered. ‘I mean it.’

Amelia sighed in defeat, knowing that her husband meant what he said.

‘Ok, I’ll meet you there later.’she answered.

‘Good.’Owen said as he bent down and pulled her close to him. Amelia pressed the pause button and turned to look at him as their foreheads touched. His right hand went to her lower abdomen where their baby was safely nestled inside.

‘ I’ll see you later.’he whispered into her ear as he gave her belly a gentle rub.

‘ You both.’ he added, winking as he released his hold on her and walked towards the door.

Amelia smiled at his retreating figure before returning her attention back to the computer screen, her heart warm inside. Never in her life, not ever since her father’s death had someone been so concerned about her well being. She had to admit, she wasn’t used to getting this much affection and care from some one else.

_______________________________________________________________

15 minutes later, Hailey had been transferred to a room in the neurosurgical floor and was just getting settled down, when Amelia walked in.

‘ Your brain scans are clear. No evidence of any brain bleed. I would still like to keep you under observation here for another 24 hours. Then if all is well after that, you’re free to go.’Amelia explained, smiling at her friend.

Hailey gave her a sad smile.

‘ It’s the head trauma protocol, Hailey.’Amelia explained.

‘ I know.’said Hailey. ‘It’s just that- I don’t want to go back to my old life of feeling lonely and empty and having nothing except drugs to turn to.’

‘ I know.’ Amelia nodded. ‘ I know how it feels to be so broken and empty inside and having no one. I’ve been there. But you know, it does get better, trust me. There’s a rainbow after the storm. You’re still young, Hailey, you still have a whole life ahead of you. Please don’t let it go to waste.’

‘ But it’s so hard.’said Hailey, tears starting to pool in her eyes.

‘ Yes, it’s hard. The beginning is always the hardest with the withdrawal symptoms.’said Amelia. ‘But it gradually gets better. You’re young, brilliant, kind, talented. You even got into medical school. I do believe you’ll be a great doctor one day.’she said, smiling at the younger woman.

‘ Why do you have so much faith in me?’Hailey wondered out loud.

‘ Because I know you can do this.’Amelia said with conviction. ‘You’re strong willed and resilient- you can overcome this. I overcame my addiction, and so can you.’

Hailey shrugged, a skeptical look on her face as Amelia continued.

‘ You fight until you can’t fight anymore. Never give up, never run, never surrender. Fight the good fight, you fight even when it seems inevitable that you’re about to go down swinging.’said Amelia earnestly. ‘ That’s the only way, no short cut about it.’

‘ Each time you fall, you get up again and keep going. Don’t quit and never give up.’she added.

‘ Never give up.’Hailey repeated to herself as she looked down at the hospital blanket.

‘ Do you know what made me stay sober after I came out of rehab?’Amelia asked as Hailey looked up at her with interest.

‘ I was pregnant when we were in rehab.’she revealed as Hailey looked at her with wide eyes.

‘Remember Ryan- my boyfriend I told you about who died before I entered rehab? It was his baby.. I didn’t know that I was pregnant until several weeks after I came out from rehab. I was already rather far along then. So when I found out I was pregnant I knew I had to be sober for the baby’s sake.’

‘ Oh wow, I didn’t suspect that. At least he left a piece of himself with you.’Hailey said, surprised by Amelia’s admission.

Amelia shook her head sadly. ‘ You see- the baby turned out to have no brain. Anencephaly. They initially advised me to abort the baby , but I decided to carry it to term so I could donate his organs. He lived for 43 minutes. He was the most beautiful baby I had ever seen, and I called him my unicorn baby. My friends had to take him away from me when he started having difficulty in breathing, and it broke my heart. So- even though he isn’t here with me anymore, I have to be clean for his sake.’

‘I’m so sorry, Amelia.’Hailey whispered. She had a lecture on anencephaly during her first year of medical school, and she couldn’t imagine her friend having to go through that.

‘ Its’ ok. Amelia smiled. ‘ Life is tough, but so are we.’

‘ How did you do it, Amelia? How did you manage to pick yourself up again and go on to become a successful neurosurgeon?’ Hailey asked, looking up at Amelia with teary eyes ‘ I’ve read your journals during my free time in medical school.

‘Well- it wasn’t an easy road for me.’ Amelia admitted.

‘I relapsed back to alcohol once, and I almost relapsed back into taking drugs after my brother’s death. I was feeling very lonely after my brother’s death and I needed something to bury my pain.’she added.

‘ I’m so sorry to hear about your brother.’ said Hailey softly.

‘ I miss him so much. I miss my dad, Ryan, my best friend Michelle and my baby too.’said Amelia, trying to stop the tears from pooling in her eyes.

Hailey took Amelia’s hand in hers and gave it a gentle squeeze, wishing she could do something to take away her friend’s pain.

‘I made my vow to stay clean and sober after rehab.’Amelia continued, still holding Hailey’s hand.‘I did it and so can you. I went on as a successful neurosurgeon. So you can do this too, Hailey. You can be a successful doctor too.’

‘ It’s easier said than done.’ Hailey admitted. ‘ But I’ll keep your words in mind and keep on trying.’

‘That’s my girl.’Amelia replied, smiling.

Hailey looked down and Amelia’s finger and the wedding ring she was wearing caught her attention.

‘ So you’re married, and the guy who entered the viewing room just now is your husband?’she asked.

‘ Yes.’Amelia smiled in reply.

Hailey’s face lit up for the first time since she entered the hospital.

‘ I heard the entire conversation during the scan.’she admitted. ‘Congratulations to you both! How far along are you?’

Amelia blushed in reply, realizing that she had forgotten to switch off the microphone in the CT room earlier on.

‘ 2 months.’she answered. ‘ With our first.’

‘ Your husband must be thrilled.’Hailey smiled.

‘ Yes, Owen adores kids and has always wanted to be a father.’Amelia answered.

‘ He’ll be a great father. And you’ll be a great mother. I can see that he really loves you.’ Hailey pointed out.

‘ Yeah he does.’Amelia admitted softly. ‘ I’m lucky to have found someone who loves me as much as he does. He’s so kind, caring and loving towards me.’

‘ You’re so lucky to have found him.’ Hailey said. ‘ I used to wish I could find a guy who really loves me unconditionally and accepts me for who I am. But now I realize that this is easier said than done. After Kevin and I broke up, there were just random guys and random hookups. Well, seeing you with him restores my faith in love.’

‘ You’ll find the right guy one day, Hailey.’Amelia said, holding her hand. ‘When he comes along, you’ll know he’s the right one for you. When a guy loves you- he’ll love you despite your flaws and imperfections. He’ll love you for being you. But you don’t have to find a man to validate your feelings about yourself. You’re an awesome and amazing person, I hope you know that.’

Hailey looked at Amelia, her eyes now sparkling with hope for the first time.

‘ You give me hope, Amelia. Seeing that you managed to pick yourself up again, you give me hope that I can do the same.’said Hailey.

‘ You can do this Hailey, I know you can.’said Amelia, giving her hands a squeeze as a gesture of support. ‘ I’ll help to book a place for you in rehab and you can go there straight after you’re discharged. It will be an uphill battle, but you can overcome this.’

Hailey looked up at Amelia as their eyes met. Her eyes were now shining, full of hope. She felt like she was being given a new life and new beginning.

Just then, there was a knock at the door and Owen appeared at the doorway.

‘ Amelia- you promised to meet me for lunch.’he pointed out.

‘I was just having a nice chat with this young lady over here.’Amelia answered, giving Hailey a wink.

‘ Hi Owen.’Hailey greeted, giving him a friendly smile and a wave.

‘ Hi.’Owen greeted back with a small smile.

‘ Ok, I’ve gotta go now, I’ll catch up with you later. I’m gonna book a place back in rehab and transport for you to go there.’said Amelia as she stood up from the chair.

‘ Ok, thanks Amelia.’ Hailey nodded, smiling.

She watched as the couple left the room, Owen’s hand protectively wrapped around Amelia’s waist. She really wished she could have this life too one day.

_______________________________________________________________

‘ So this patient of yours- you’ve known her before this?’Owen asked once they both placed their food on the cafeteria table.

Amelia took a huge bite of her sandwich and swallowed before answering.

‘ Yes. Her name is Hailey and I met her when we were both in rehab 6 years ago. She was my best friend over there, and we both supported each other a lot during that time.’

‘Oh ok.’Owen nodded. Amelia had opened up to him about her past shortly after they both reunited, which included her past addictions, and her time in rehab. It was one of her darkest secrets which she wasn’t proud of but she knew that Owen deserved to know about it.

‘ So what brings her here?’he asked out of curiosity.

‘She was high and fell down the stairs. Broke a wrist and had a few laceration wounds and bruises in the process. Her brain CT was clear though.’Amelia answered before she took another bite of her sandwich. She had thrown up her breakfast and was now starving without realizing it.

Owen nodded, taking a bite of his burger.

‘ I gave her a pep talk.’said Amelia. ‘ I told her that if I can overcome this addiction, then so can she. She’s still young and still has a long way to go in life, Owen. I don’t want her to give up. I’m going to book a place in rehab for her and provide her transport there. That’s the best I can do to help her, the rest she has to do herself.’

‘ You’re trying your best already to help.’said Owen as he held her hand across the table. ‘ One of the things I love about you is how loyal and caring you are towards your friends.’

Amelia blushed at the compliment. She wasn’t used to someone complimenting her like that.

‘ I was in her position before, I know what it’s like to hit rock bottom.’ Amelia admitted. ‘Which is why I really want her to pick herself up and become a successful doctor in the future. I know she can do it. Do you know that she had just completed her first year of medical school?’

‘ She must be smart to enter medical school..’Owen pointed out.

‘ She is! She’s smart, talented and capable. She should believe in herself more.’Amelia said with full of conviction.

‘ And so should you.’Owen replied as Amelia looked up from her food and their eyes met.

‘ Well- I had a hard time believing it, but I do now.’she replied, showing her dimples.. ‘Thanks to you.’

Owen winked at her as he took another bite of his burger.

A comfortable silence ensued between them as they both continued enjoying their food.

‘ Are you still hungry? Do you want to order another sandwich or something else?’Owen asked as Amelia took the last bite of her sandwich.

‘ No, I’m fine.’she replied.

‘ You sure that Bean doesn’t want something else to eat?’he teased.

‘Bean told me that she’s full.’Amelia replied, smiling.

‘ Oh so it’s a she now? I thought yesterday it was a he.’Owen chuckled.

Amelia shrugged. ‘ And tomorrow Bean would be a he again.’she teased.

‘ You feeling better now?’Owen asked. ‘ No more nausea or vomiting?’

Amelia shook her head. ‘ It’s the same thing every day- I throw up my breakfast, and then I’m starving by noon. Unless I am too busy then I forget that I’m hungry…’ her voice faltered as she realized too late that she had let something slip she was supposed to keep a secret from her husband.

‘ Amelia, how can you forget to eat? You need to take care of your health.’Owen said firmly but gently.

‘ I know…I know….I promise I’ll eat.’said Amelia.

‘Good.’Owen nodded. ‘ I just want what is best for you and Bean.’he added.

‘ Do you know- Hailey overheard our entire conversation in the CT control room?’Amelia revealed. ‘I forgot to turn off the microphone.’

‘Well- I don’t see a problem with that, actually. At least she knows we really love each other.’Owen replied, grinning.

Amelia grinned back, realizing the truth in his statement.

‘She said that I am lucky to have found you. She wishes she can be just as lucky one day.’she admitted.‘ And I told her that yes, I’m lucky to have found someone who loves me as much as you do.’

Owen’s heart swelled upon Amelia’s admission. He had never heard a woman tell him this before and it really warmed his heart.

‘ Same here.’he admitted. ‘ I’m lucky to have found you.’

They exchanged smiles and held hands across the table, oblivious to the stares from the group of residents sitted at the table next to them. It was just them and Bean in their own world. During the initial stages of their relationship, they seldom showed public displays of affection, but ever since they got married, they weren’t afraid to show their love to each other in public.

_______________________________________________________________

One year later

Amelia juggled 5 month old Charlotte on one hand, her huge baby supply bag slung on the other as she entered the ER.

She had picked Charlotte up from the daycare, Charlotte was running a fever and therefore had to be brought home. Fortunately, Amelia had no more surgeries scheduled for the rest of the day.

She stopped at the nurses station where Owen was standing.

‘ Look Char, here’s daddy. Look, what is he doing?’she asked the baby in a sing song voice.

Owen looked up from the patient chart he was studying and his face lit up immediately. Seeing his wife and daughter always made his day, they were the loves of his life.

‘ Hey little princess.’he greeted as he kissed Charlotte on the forehead. ‘ Oh she feels warm. Is she running a fever?’

‘ Yes, that’s what I came here to tell you about it. The daycare called me to pick her up because she was running a fever. I’m going to bring her home. I have no surgeries scheduled for the rest of the day.’said Amelia.

‘ Ok. Is she ok though? No vomiting, diarrhoea, coughing or rashes?’

‘ She was just irritable according to the daycare nurse. There was a bug going around in the daycare.’

‘ Oh no. Yes, bring her back to rest.’Owen agreed.

‘ You be a good girl for mommy ok? he said as he gave Charlotte a kiss on the top of her head.

‘Amelia! ’Amelia turned around to see who was calling her.

Her face lit up when she saw Hailey walking towards her. The young lady’s hair was cut short, but she was still sporting the same old smile.

Amelia handed Charlotte over to Owen and strode towards Hailey.

‘ Hailey!’she greeted, as Hailey ran up to her and embraced her in a tight hug.

Hailey smiled at Amelia as she loosened her embrace on her.

‘ I just came over to say thank you, Amelia. The receptionist told me you were here. Thank you for giving me encouragement during the darkest time of my life and telling me that I could do it. I went back to rehab after being discharged from the hospital that day and I vowed to myself to stay clear from drugs. And I did it! I remained sober, proceeded to my second year of medical school and got back with David. I got my life back together, thanks to you. I want to finish medical school and possibly be a neurosurgeon. I have read your journals and your work really inspires me.’

Amelia felt tears pooling in her eyes and her heart swelled at Hailey’s words.

‘I’m glad to be able to help.’she said honestly. She took Hailey’s hand in hers and gave it a squeeze.

‘ Hailey - I know you’ve met Owen before. This is our daughter Charlotte.’Amelia introduced as Owen walked towards them with Charlotte in tow.

‘ Nice to meet you again, Owen.’ said Hailey as she shook hands with him politely. ‘And oh, Charlotte is so adorable! Hey there, little one! Congrats to you both.’

‘Charlotte is actually running a fever now and I need to bring her home.’Amelia explained.

‘ Oh- you go ahead and take her home. I was just dropping by to thank you.’said Hailey. ‘Oh I never got your phone number. We need to keep in touch.’

Amelia took out a piece of paper and a pen from her labcoat pocket and scribbled her number on it before passing it to Hailey.

‘ Do keep in touch.’she said. ‘Keep me updated on your life.’

‘ Yes I will.’Hailey replied, smiling.

‘ Please remember my advice - do well in medical school and be the best doctor you can be. I want to see you come back here to be the top neurosurgeon in the country. Who knows one day you can take over my place as the Head of Department of Neurosurgery.’said Amelia winking.

She was only half joking though- she really hoped that Hailey would go on to be successful in life.

‘ Ok, I’ll remember that.’Hailey nodded seriously and they shared another hug before she walked out of the ER entrance.

‘ She came to thank me that I turned her life around.’Amelia whispered in awe and she stood beside Owen, watching Hailey walk away. ‘ To tell the truth- I didn’t do much- I just gave her some words of encouragement and booked a place in rehab for her. The rest she did herself. I’m so proud of her. I feel like one proud mama.’

‘ Let’s hope Charlotte here can make you proud too one day.’said Owen, smiling as he transferred Charlotte to Amelia’s arms.

‘ Oh- there’s no doubt about it- she already makes me proud every day. Don’t you, Char?’ Amelia said as she gave Charlotte an affectionate peck on the cheek.

She shared a passionate kiss with Owen before waving goodbye and leaving the ER with Charlotte.

She was indeed living up to her mantra of fighting until she couldn’t fight anymore and she was glad to be able to share that quote with Hailey and help Hailey rebuild her life. Nothing could be more satisfying than that, being able to help someone get back on their feet.

Alright guys- so this is it, I really hope you liked it! As usual- reviews, comments, reblogs and messages are very much appreciated!! I would really love to hear from you all- please do tell me what you think!! <3

#owen hunt #amelia shepherd #hailey from Private Practice #charlotte addison hunt #omelia #omeliafics #omelia fanfiction #omelia fanfics #ailing's fics #grey's anatomy

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sicklylittlesnowflake · 7 years

Note

First things first, I am a huge fan! Your Riverdale fics give me life. I share your love of making Jughead suffer. So I assume you have a whole bunch of request/prompts lined up but if you ever feel like it: I would love to see Jughed with pneumonia/bronchitis. Whichever you prefer and however you prefer :)

(Thanks so much for the kind words anon!! I am so glad you share my love of making jug suffer. I absolutely love researching illnesses so this was a lot of fun to do! This became very angsty but a whole lot of tooth rotting fluff in the end! Here’s jug with pneumonia and a worried Andrews fam.)

For most of his life the bright, warm light of the sun was a beacon of hope for Jughead. The summer was a sign of hope, a signal that he had made it through the cold winter, and that everything was going to be okay. He could be with Archie and Betty all summer, and he didn’t have to constantly go home to the darkness of his own family.

However when this past summer, Betty was away on an internship and life decided to take Archie Andrews away from him, Jughead had never felt this lonely in whole life. His mom and Jellybean left him to the darkness that was surely engulfing his father, and he didn’t even have his rock, Archie to cling on to. He felt so alone, so cold in this darkness, the sun seemed to be mocking him. He’d watch all the happy people bask in the sun while he felt trapped in this personal rain cloud that would never leave him.

To keep himself alive Jughead had told himself that the winter would be better for him, for everyone. However as the winter approached and arrived, things got worse. He had been homeless, Jason had actually been murdered, his father had been arrested and there was definitely darker things in Riverdale.

It had started with a cough, a typical winter ailment that he got every year, no biggie. But a cough wasn’t meant to last this long, Jughead was convinced it wasn’t meant to hurt this much.

His cough had worsened as him, Kevin and Betty investigated the death of Jason Blossom, Jughead desperate to bring some light to Riverdale and uncover the truth. It had been a cold, cold night, the air dry and unforgiving, frosty and painful to his lungs. It rained too, the droplets of water seeming to be from a frozen lake, icy and soaking him to the core. There, they found Jason’s jacket, and the truth he found was horrifying.

The stress of the next few days did no wonders to Jughead’s declining health and mental health. When he should’ve been getting better, he lay wide awake at night, afraid to shut his eyes in fear of the nightmares that plagued him. He clutched his small blanket in the Andrews garage, shivering, wanting it all to end.

The one thing the freezing cold garage did in his favour was the fact he could cough freely, not afraid of waking Archie had he been in the air mattress. However, he couldn’t quite ignore the nagging thought at the back of his mind telling him that coughs were not meant to hurt his chest that much, that they weren’t meant to be that deep, that wet, this teeth-chattering.

The phlegm certainly wasn’t meant to be tinged with blood.

The next morning, as Jughead awoke to Archie swinging the back door open, presumably to wake him, he hadn’t felt that awful in his whole life.

His head caused the world to spin, and he couldn’t lift his head up because of how heavy he felt. His entire body was shivering, he felt so cold, literally frozen as if he had just fallen through the frozen Sweetwater River, and his teeth chattered with the cold. However, if he was so cold, he shouldn’t be radiating off heat, should he? The hot air coming out of his nostrils felt so uncomfortable.

Archie opened the door slowly, shivering lightly as he made his way into the freezing garage, immediately nervous that Jughead had spent the night here.

“Jug? You awake.”

“Yeah,” Jughead croaked out, his chest hurting, unbelievably tight. His breathing shouldn’t be this fast.

“Woah, you okay dude?”

“First thing in the morning, dude, calm your face,” Jughead joked forcefully, honestly not finding itself in him to be his regular, jokey self.

Archie noticed, worried that Jughead couldn’t even make a joke. When times got hard, Jughead could at least make a joke of his horrible situation. The fact that he couldn’t didn’t sit right with him.

“Get out of my face, Andrews. I’m going to get changed–unless you want to watch?” Jughead teased, trying to not sound congested.

Archie looked reluctant, but left anyway, making his way back to the kitchen.

Jughead walked into the kitchen, wearing one long sleeved t shirt underneath a hoodie, and a thick, shearling denim jacket on top, obviously trying to stop his shivering. However he still shook slightly, looking very pale besides his very pink cheeks and nose. His eye bags very dark against his pale skin, and his blue eyes dull and bleary.

“Morning Jughead,” Fred greeted, back facing him as he cooked the eggs.

Archie couldn’t even greet him, shocked by his appearance.

When Fred turned around, he was slightly surprised, “..Are you cold, Jug?”

Jughead shrugged, “Just a little. It is the winter after all.”

Fred didn’t even know what to do, “Jughead..uh..how are you feeling?”

Jughead looked up from the food he was playing with and gave him a forced smile, “Fine. Ready to seize the day.”

Archie and Fred didn’t even know how hey let Jughead out of the house and walk to school in the snow.

School would be a tricky situation because this was the worst possible day Jughead could be sick, Archie didn’t have any classes with him until Lunch. Meaning Archie had no way of having eyes on Jughead, and this worry prevented Archie from concentrating on any of his classes.

Jughead had spent his classes huddled going the radiator, grateful he sat at the back of the class, shivering and shaking. He felt extremely fevered, not able to concentrate on anything his teachers would say.

He was so bad, his coughing sounding so chesty and raspy that some of his classmates who had just been currently treating him like a murderer were concerned with him. Jughead squeezed his eyes shut, a hand to his chest as he struggled to breathe, his airways blocked by phlegm. He shivered with his fever, pulling his jacket closer to him and wishing he had worn more layers.

As the teacher let the class go off doing pairwork, she approached Jughead and looked at him with concern.

“You have to promise me that you’ll go to the nurse after this class, okay?” She said, worried.

Jughead’s teeth chattered, finding it hard to reply to her, “Y-yes, miss. I will.”

Of course, he didn’t.

Come geography Jughead was feeling worse, the pain in his chest as he coughed like he was being stabbed repeatedly. To make things worse he couldn’t breathe, choking on his own phlegm that refused to come out. He gasped for air, his chesty and phlegmy gasps sounding horribly weak and awful. He continued to choke, his vision growing hazy.

Ethel looked over at him and watched the pathetic display, managing to pat his back as he spat the phlegm out into a tissue she had offered him. “Jughead, please, I don’t think this is normal.”

Jughead knew at this point his voice was gone, so he only gave her a small, reassuring smile.

At the end of that class, Jughead had been wheezing yet again, walking out as he held a hand over his aching chest. He could barely breathe, his breathing short and rapid. Hell, he could feel his heart beating fast.

Jughead hacked pathetically into his arm, when a familiar pair of strong arms were holding him in place, to support him. Just a bit ago those same arms were pushing him into a locker. He looked up blearily, blue eyes watery and completely void of life.

“Go away, Reggie,” Jughead wheezed, his voice almost completely gone, a weak, raspy whisper.

“Jughead, please! You’re so sick, this isn’t normal,” Reggie pleaded, taking his shoulders. He wasn’t rough or cruel like he normally was, he was so worried and concerned, as if Jughead could just break into pieces in his arms right there. His actual name coming out of Reggie’s mouth was so weird, and his vision was just so blurry nothing felt real anymore. Jughead pushed past him, his chest on fire as he pushed himself on to the cafeteria where his friends were.

***

Kevin Keller was a hundred percent sure he had just seen a ghost.

It was the ghost of Jughead Jones, who looked like he was about to die just there, his body ready to succumb to death. The ghost of his friend approached the four of them, and the sight was so disturbing he gasped.

“Jughead?!” He yelped, causing the other three of his friends to whip around and watch as what was left of their friend approach them. He looked so awful that they didn’t even know what to do.

Jughead took his seat next to Kevin and Veronica, as if absolutely nothing was up. He didn’t say anything, looking off into the distance like his conscience was in some other plane of reality.

They were frozen, not knowing what to do.

“Jughead..?” Veronica finally said, voice quivering with fear.

The sight of him was horrifying; ghost white, looking like he was on the brink of death. Eyes sunken, with a pair of dark purple eyebags. His cheeks were flushed a horrible shade of red. He slouched, completely drained and unable to sit upright His entire frame shook like some sort of epicentre for an earthquake. He was the perfect image of illness. It was haunting.

Suddenly, Jughead erupted in the most horrendous fit he had yet, entire body convulsing like he had been possessed by a demon. He hacked, choking on his own phlegm. His entire body was shivering, gasping for air, short and rapid. His chest was on fire, someone was stabbing him with a flaming knife, viciously and brutally. It hurt so much.

He felt a ringing in his ears, all he could sense was the pain of his chest, and could faintly feel Kevin slapping his back, and Veronica feeling his pulse.

“Guys, it’s so fast!” Veronica screamed.

Jughead finally spat out the phlegm, tinged with blood.

“Oh my god!” Archie yelled and jumped out of his seat and ran, with Reggie Mantle running after him, hot on his heels as they ran for help.

“Juggy!” Betty screamed, crying.

Jughead looked up to see his hysteric friends, and all the worried other people, making out Ethel, and hell, even Cheryl Blossom looked terrified. There was screaming, too much was happening. His head pounded, vision shaking and blurring, breathing short and rapid. His attempts to breathe for longer hurt his chest, a sharp, stinging pain. His entire body ached, he felt like he was on fire, and yet shaking and shivering. Suddenly, he became void of all senses. He couldn’t feel anything.

Then there was darkness.

***

Archie paced the hospital hallway, his chest feeling right. He felt so anxious, breathing heavily. The hospital was so white, it was terrifying. So clean and orderly.

“Yes, Sheriff, I understand you can’t just allow random calls at random times, but please, FP deserves to know,” Fred argued on the phone, just as anxious as Archie.

A few minutes later, Sheriff gave up and handed the phone to FP.

“FP? I don’t even know how to say this,” Fred whispered guiltily.

“What is it, Fred? You here to finally admit I was better at the guitar than you?” FP joked.

“..No, Forsythe, it’s Jughead. He’s really sick, he passed out. We’re at the hospital–I don’t know what’s wrong, but he was coughing blood..”

FP was silent.

Eventually he’s spoke, “That’s my boy, Fred.”

“I know, FP, you just deserved to know.”

“No, no, you don’t understand. That’s my boy who never gave up on me. That boy who’s kind to everyone but what did he do to deserve this? This ain’t fucking fair! I can’t lose him! I love him so much, Fred! I don’t even think he knows that, Fred.”

“He knows that, FP. Listen, we’ll keep you posted, okay? The doctors will be out in a little bit.”

They continued to speak for a while but Archie couldn’t listen anymore, way too afraid. Once Fred hung up, Archie looked at him, tears in his eyes.

“Dad, he’s gonna be okay, right?” Archie whimpered, sounding so young.

Fred swallowed, “He’s a tough kid, Archie. He’ll pull through.”

“He shouldn’t have to be the tough kid,” Archie choked, tears streaming down his face.

“Arch,” Fred cooed, coming close to his son and holding him, kissing his forehead.

“I know Archie, he shouldn’t. I shouldn’t have made him feel unwelcome, I shouldn’t have let him go this morning. I’m so sorry Archie, blame me all you want, but I care for him too. I will do all in my power to make him better again, okay?” Fred whispered softly as Archie cried into his chest.

“I’m so scared,” Archie cried.

Fred sniffled, swallowing, “Me too, Arch.”

***

Half an hour later, one of the doctors came out of Jughead’s room.

“Mr Andrews?” She said softly.

“Yes, that’s me,” Fred piped up, as Archie who was asleep on his shoulder woke up immediately, rushing to her.

“I’m glad to be informing you Mr Jones will be just alright,” She smiled brightly.

Archie made an overwhelmed, happy noise, he lunged and hugged the doctor, “thank you thank you thank you thank you!!”

Archie pulled away and blushed, “Oh, sorry.”

The doctor laughed, “That is quite alright.”

Fred cleared his throat, “What’s wrong with him, doc?”

“Pneumonia. He had it pretty bad, as you know from what happened at the school, but we’ve patched him up enough so that there will be no negative effects later in life and that he should be better in two or three weeks.”

Fred sighed softly, “That’s great.”

“He will need continuous usage of antibiotics and must not leave the house, must get good sleep and rest,” She explained.

Archie looked anxious, “When will he be discharged?”

“He must stay for about a week for now, but he will be allowed visitors. In fact, would you like to visit him now? He’s awake.”

“Yes! Please!” Archie said excitedly.

“This way, then,” The Doctor instructed as she held the doors open for the two of them and let them in.

“Oh my god, Jug!” Archie exclaimed as he saw Jughead sitting up, joking about something with one of the doctors.

Jughead looked over to see Archie and smiled, and gasped softly as Archie tackled him into a hug.

“Arch–” Jughead said softly, slightly suffocated.

Archie gasped, “Sorry!”

Jughead laughed, still raspy but a lot less deathly sounding, “It’s fine.”

“You really scared me, Jughead! The whole school thought you were dead!” Archie exclaimed.

Fred chuckled, “That really was quite a scare, Jughead.”

“Sorry about that,” Jughead said sheepishly.

Fred looked at Archie then sighed, “no kid, we should be sorry-no, I should be. I’m so sorry I made it seem like you weren’t welcome here, you are just as much of family as Archie is to me. Y'know, when FP called me to say Gladys was having his child Mary and I drove to the hospital with little Archie. When you were born, we were all together, we were all a family. We still are a family.”

Jughead smiled softly, but scrunched his nose, “Ew, so you’re telling me that this rat here is one of the first things I ever saw?!”

Archie laughed heartily.

Fred laughed, “That’s quite right. Jughead, FP and I made sure that as blood brothers, we had to take care of each other’s sons. I told FP that what if his son was a little shit? Well, you are a little shit, but you really are a great kid, Jug. We care about you so much. When you get discharged, I’m going to make sure that when you go home, it is a home.”

Jughead smiled softly, “I’m sorry for pushing you away and withdrawing.”

Archie shook his head, “We never should have let you disappear.”

Jughead groaned, “Stop fighting with me, I’m sick, let’s just all agree we all fucked up!”

They all laughed.

Just then, Jughead began to cough again, eyes squeezed shut at the burning sensation of his cough, wet and deep. Before he started to choke, a nearby doctor coaxed the coughs out. He spat out into a tissue and threw it into the wastebin, finally resting against the pillow and took a good minute to catch his breath.

“Poor kid,” Fred muttered softly, taking in the pale features of his second son and approached him, pushing back the messy black curls that had fallen into his face as he coughed.

Archie watched in concern, wondering how he could help when his phone buzzed, opening it to see Veronica was facetiming.

“Ooh! I think they want to see you!” Archie grinned.

Jughead flipped his hair, “Of course they want to see the absolute beauty that is moi!”

Archie answered the call, coming close to Jughead so they could see him, to see Kevin, Veronica, Betty, Reggie, Ethel and oddly, Cheryl in the frame.

“HE’S ALIVE!” Kevin squealed.

“Lookin’ good, Wednesday Adams,” Reggie teased, pointing at his hospital gown and all the tubes in him.

“Jughead, you scared the shit out of us!!” Veronica exclaimed.

“Juggie, I’m so glad you’re okay!” Betty cooed.

“Get better soon, Jughead!” Ethel smiled.

“Ugh, he’s alive, guys. Can we all go now?” Cheryl rolled her eyes, but they could all see that Cheryl was secretly relieved and happy.

They spoke for a while, and as the call ended Fred started to call the Sheriff.

***

“Fred! Is my boy okay?!” FP breathed out through Fred’s phone.

“Hi dad,” Jughead said softly.

“Oh my god, Jug..Jug! You’re okay..thank god! I was beginning to think..it’s so good to hear your voice..”

“I’ll survive, dad.”

“You just might.”

Jughead could faintly hear the Sheriff telling FP he didn’t have much time.

“Listen–Jug, I don’t have a lot of time..”

“I love you, dad,” Jughead whimpered.

FP froze.

“I love you too, Jug,” FP choked, clearly teary.

“I miss you so much,” Jughead sniffled, one tear rolling down his cheek.

“I miss you so much Jug, there’s not one day that passed by where I wish we were all together. But I did bad things, Jughead, inexcusable. I need to pay for what I did. You understand that, don’t you, Jug?”

“I do.”

“..I am so sorry, Jughead. For not being the father I should’ve been, the one you deserve. I’m so sorry about this, but please know that I never for one second stopped loving you,” FP whispered.

“I know dad, I know. I never gave up, I never will,” Jughead cried.

“You’ll be okay, you’ll pull through. C'mon lion, brave through it and seize the day, I know you can,” FP chuckled.

“I will dad, I always do,” Jughead whispered.

“I’ll come home to you someday,” FP managed to say before Sheriff Keller took the phone back.

Jughead bit back a sob, whispering to himself, “I know you will.”

***

The morning he was to be discharged, Jughead began to gather all his Get Well Soon presents. He coughed, not quite as chesty or deep as it had been, and certainly did not feel like he was being stabbed repeatedly. He smiled fondly as he looked at them.

A beautifully crafted handmade card from Ethel, a not so beautifully crafted handmade card from Reggie, a fancy card from Veronica with some luxury gourmet chocolates and snacks, a simple, pretty card from Betty and a container of her signature soup, a nice card from Kevin who had sent some snacks, and a bit of money from Cheryl who helped pay for some of the hospital bill and medicine. The family was loaded, and her parents didn’t even notice she took some.

Jughead hadn’t felt so loved in so long. The winter seemed to be just a bit brighter.

And finally, a picture of Jughead, Archie and Fred during movie night on top of an application for Legal Guardianship.

“Ready to go home, Jug?” Archie grinned.

“Born ready.”

#jughead jones #archie andrews #fp jones #fred andrews #betty cooper #veronica lodge #riverdale #sickfic #prompts #pneumonia #fever

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bananadineapple · 7 years

Text

So Close

PROMPT: Ever since Bucky chose to be frozen in cyro sleep, Y/N never left the area. One night, while Steve was passing by, he hears Y/N sadly singing her and Bucky's favorite song to dance to.

· Pairing: Bucky x Reader

· Word Count: 3073 words

· Warnings: Depression

· A/N: this is slightly connected to an upcoming 4 part imagine I am currently finishing writing; On Second Thought, Maybe You. The imagine takes place after the Civil War happened.

Masterlist

xxxxx

For the same reason like every night, Steve found himself still restless, even if he was staying where his best friend was safely placed in. It just didn't seem, comfortable. His eyes blankly stared at the ceiling before sighing when he realized he hadn't had a good night sleep for the past month since Bucky was put back to the cyro. And soon, he remembered, a certain young lady had it far worse than he did, and made him look worriedly to the bed beside him. Sure enough, it was empty.

But the Captain knew where she exactly was. And it saddened him to see Y/N do the same routine every single night, as if the very life of her had been put to sleep as well. For days, Y/N stuck to her stubborn vow to never set foot outside of the building ever again, to stay watch over the Soldier even if she knew he wasn't going anywhere. Everyone, even T'Challa, tried to reason out to her to go out, live a normal life. But she gave the same answer both she and Steve knew was true,

"It isn't normal without Bucky."

The captain quickly rose from his bed with a heave, to again check up on her like the previous nights. From time to time, each one of the Avengers was in Steve's place of taking care of Y/N taking care of Bucky. Even Tony himself brought up the courage to, tried to bring up a joke to lighten her up, but always seemed to backfire and make her feel worse. And each night, it was the same, empty woman staring silently in pain through the glass. The same, depressed Y/N who forgot about her life and had here intentions only to be beside the man she loved, for what seemed like eternity. Of course, Steve understood her in a deeper level, and he would do the same thing.

•••

"I'm not leaving." Y/N stated without keeping her eyes off the Soldier.

"Everyone's worried sick about you, Y/N." Steve worriedly implied to the young woman, even when she ignored the concern, "You haven't eaten, slept, or heck, lived well for almost a month!"

"Just...leave me alone, Steve."

"No I can't. Not with knowing your condition will worsen if you stop being so stubborn!"

When she fell silent again, the Captain noticed the way her eyes looked towards Bucky. It's as if they guarded his stiff body, to maybe see a slight movement to know he was stable. A look of pain, to see a man who had a pure heart receive something he didn't deserve yet needed to do as an obligation to protect everyone. Steve saw how it broke Y/N so much as how it did the same to himself, and found himself no more reason to argue against her decision. He slowly approached her, gently placing a hand on her shoulder.

When the young woman looked back, with eyes so sunken and surrounded by eyebags that marked the countless nights she stayed awake, the tears silently streaking down her bloodshot eyes, he remembered the request by Bucky, the promise to keep her safe and happy, and realized it was going to be a little hard for him to do so.

•••

"Y/N?"

He called out from the hall, as if she would respond anyway. Steve proceeded down the hallways clad in nothing but a shirt and sweatpants. It was a little dim, T'Challa wanting to conserve energy with the lights, but he knew the same old route he has taken for the past week. When he found himself nearing the familiar door to the laboratory housing Bucky, he heard something faint from the distance. Steve froze in shock of the noise, thinking if there was an intruder in their midst, and from the sound of it, it came from the lab. The thought of someone infiltrating the lab, and maybe having her hostage, alerted the Captain. But when he had listened intently to the sound, it sounded more...melodic, and not belonging to an intruder of any kind. As if someone was, singing.

"What the-?" He muttered to himself, confused as to why the noise was prominent at 2 am in the morning.

But the moment Steve slowly inched closer to the door, the tone of the voice sounded more familiar. And when the distance between him and the lab was merely but an inch, he quickly recognized it to be Y/N's voice, singing. He was surprised and confused as to why she was singing, and just stood there in shock. But then, he heard the familiar notes and lyrics, and it struck nostalgia to his memories.

"Oh..." He breathed out in realization.

Steve slowly brought his hand to turn the knob without a noise, as to not startle the young lady inside. In doing so, he gently pressed on the cold door to open it. And sure enough, her voice became more audible. And as Steve turned to look at the young woman seated across the room in the same position near the frozen Soldier, clad in nothing but the Henley red shirt Bucky had given to her and shorts, with a blanket wrapped around her shoulders to keep her warm. The song she sung, completely struck the Captain and made him feel so sorry for the poor girl.

Bucky and Y/N once danced to the song being sung by Y/N alone. The dance contained so much passion, an expression of how they both dearly loved each other, a sign that they were both willing to be together until the end. He remembered the glow she once had when Bucky was still around, and the smile that slowly grew on her face when the Soldier finally confessed his true feelings for her. The dance, the song, it was a mark of the beginning of their love story, about how a man like him fell for a woman like how. How the lion fell in love with the lamb. It was a memory both him and Y/N held dearly; seeing both Bucky and Y/N so happy with each other.

When the song would play, it didn't matter where the two lovebirds were. They'd quickly pull in each other's bodies close to each other, and just silently gaze lovingly at each other while they let the music guide their steps. Steve wondered how long it was since he saw Y/N's real smile, how long it was since he heard her laugh, how long it was since she looked so complete. He knew that Bucky was willing to promise a life with her, to grow up old with her, to have and hold. An engagement he spent endless nights talking about it to Steve.

But now, he was looking at a completely heartbreaking scene of a woman singing to a man who'd never even hear her sweet, angelic voice calling out to him again. A woman who held the ring that she could've worn when it could've had a meaning, when the ring could've marked a possibility of a normal life for the both of them. And he was completely stuck in place, just frozen at looking at her completely beaten down and broken. He even found himself tearing up to her singing, when the feeling of missing his very best friend, his brother, and missing the old Y/N, hit him hard.

"Y/N..." he sighed sadly, as he listened once more to her sad melody.

'...And we're...So close, to reaching

That famous happy ending

Almost, believing

This one's not pretend..."

'Now you're, beside me

And look how far we've come...'

The young woman slowly stood up and strode nearer, her hands slowly caressed the glass just above the Soldier's rested face, and he looked at him with a weak smile that tried to restrain the painful tears that streamed endlessly down her flushed cheeks. Across the room, Steve sensed that Y/N was too overwhelmed with grief to continue singing, and she completely lost it again. When saw her sink down to her knees, sobbing her heart out, he quickly dashed to her, slowly enveloping his arm around her small, humped figure.

"Hey, Y/N..." He cooed gently to her ear with his hands rubbing circles around, "I'm here."

Steve was surprised that she didn't fight back as usual, but instead clung her arms tightly around his torso, as he tears quickly soaked his shirt. Nevertheless, he remained silent and hugged her comfortingly.

"I-I'm s-so done w-with this, S-Steve..." her words barely came out clear with the hoarseness of her voice pulling it back. "I c-can't t-take this any-anymore!"

"I j-just f-fucking miss h-him s-so much...I-I can't live l-like this! Why did he h-have to deserve t-this Steve?! Why?!"

She screamed loudly in pain, in a way that broke the Captain even more, because he realized the gravity of how much they both terribly missed Bucky. So much, that he himself was starting to feel a lump build in his throat, but he found himself completely speechless at the situation. He slowly brought his eyes to look at his friend behind the glass, and the longer he stared at Bucky's closed eyes knowing it could take a long while before he'd see them open again, a soft sob came out of his mouth as well.

"I-I know...I miss him too, Y/N..." He quietly admitted in tears while hugging her tightly in his arms.

•••

"Here, it'll help you calm down."

Y/N looked over to her shoulder to see Steve holding out a mug of hot Camomile tea. She didn't take a moment to hesitate, taking the mug in hand and whispered gratitude towards the Captain. When a small string of silence went by, Steve quietly sat down on the cold marble floor beside her, with his left arm gently wrapping around Y/N's cold body. She suddenly felt a sense of comfort in his arms, a thing she hadn't felt in a long time, and slowly, she relaxed and leaned her head on his shoulder, both keeping their gaze on Bucky. For a while they haven't spoken and just let their thoughts float around. Steve realized how much more comfortable it was in the room, and understood much more how Y/N managed to survive the grief.

It was as if James Buchanan Barnes' spirit filled the room. Like he wasn't completely gone, purposely leaving a part of his essence in the place, a fervent reminder for both Y/N and Steve that he won't be gone too long. And for the first time since weeks, the Captain slowly smiled, basking in the comfortable aura the room contained.

"So this is why you manage to keep on." He remarked, feeling her head nod gently.

"Yeah. It's the closest we got left of him." She replied weakly, tentatively smiling towards the man she loved.

"I know he doesn't deserve this, but he chose other people's sake before his. He chose to keep us safe, to keep you safe."

"S'why I love him. So selfless."

Steve chuckled at the term, connecting it to the many memories he had of Bucky being so selfless, especially to the time Bucky held firm on the railings when a massive explosion was between them, saying he was never leaving without him.

"Yeah, he is."

They both fell silent for a while, until Steve looked down and saw Y/N had set the mug down on the floor to let her fickle fingers gently fiddle with the beautiful diamond ring adorning her ring finger.

"He really meant it, you know. He was so willing to marry you."

The young woman looked up to him, eyes slightly widened, waiting for a longer explanation.

"If only I could show you the many nights and days he would call me up, sounding so nervous, telling endless times how much he loved you enough to promise a life together." He started off with a warm smile, and was relieved to find the young woman slowly doing the same. "He would even talk about how many children he wanted to make. Oh God, he's real whipped for you."

When Steve had paused, Y/N's mind had been filled with recalls of the times Bucky had acted so weird, either fumbling to grab something in his pocket, or trying to gather the words to say it but to his dismay, have the words go tumbling down his tangled tongue.

"But this happened. I really wished it didn't. I wanted so bad to see what could've been between you two. I'm really sorry, Y/N"

"It's okay." She nodded, more tears streaking down her cheeks. "Couldn't make him change his mind about this, s'why I'm doing the same in considering a 'normal life'."

"You really willing to wait?" Steve asked out of the blue after a short pause, making the young woman shift to look up to him in slight astonishment, "Even if it meant that he might not wake up in time for us to see so?"

For a moment, the young woman thought of her answer, but soon realized she already had one when the ring caught her sight again. With a deep breath in and a long sigh, the memory not so long again replayed in her thoughts when she gathered the words to say in silence.

"2 months ago, I said 'yes' to a commitment Bucky offered to me. Even if we both didn't know this was coming, I'm obligated to remain in that promise; the promise to be his and only his." She spoke as if she were retelling an age old story, and Steve openly listened to what she was to say next.

"I really can't imagine myself marrying someone else, because I already saw it a possibility with Bucky. Only Bucky. And I may sound so damn clingy, but the heck with it. I love that man so much, to the point that if he can't have me, no one can."

The Captain was astounded at how she stood ground to her promise, even if it looked like it wasn't going to be a reality. Even if it seemed that she would growing old without being with anyone else than Bucky; she was stubbornly in love with him to do such a thing. It didn't seem to bother Steve at all, because he understood where she was coming from. She reflected a part of himself deep inside; and it made him chuckle seeing how much Y/N was identically alike him. In response, he gave nothing but a slow nod in agreement, which Y/N took in as something unusual for him to respond to her explanation.

"What? No side remark? No violent reactions? No nothing?" She questioned him in curiosity, having to remember the countless times Steve scolded her for being so stubborn.

"I'd be a hypocrite if I did so. Which I am, I guess." He shrugged, "I did also became so insanely stubborn to protecting Bucky at all costs, and I almost killed Tony for him."

Y/N was relieved to her that Steve finally understood her feelings, and quietly took back in her hands the, still, hot mug of tea. Before it even reached to touch her lips, she paused, finding herself unfinished with talking to the Captain.

"You know how much it kills me to wake up every day, and instantly remembering him, frozen and asleep inside a cold prison, instead of awake and moving." Y/N started, as she tried to hold back her runny nose from all that crying but Steve already had her back with a spare handkerchief he had in hand.

"Steve, we were all so close to a normal life. He could've had the life he wanted, and so did I. He could've stayed longer to wed me, just to seal what we have officially. At least, to have him just a little bit longer." Her grip of the now warm mug had tighten, already feeling the grief of missing Bucky so much.

"I just, really, really, really miss him so much."

The young woman had again fallen silent, but let a few tears slip through her eyes again. Her gaze fixated on the still pool of Chamomile sitting inside the cream-white marble mug, as she wondered if she would really drink the damn tea already. But it took her less than a second in her calm state, to remember that Chamomile was the tea Bucky always loved when she would bring it up to him. Because he loved the way it would slowly bring its warmth and unique flavor to trigger the sense of comfort in his veins, and how much it always did the trick of calming him down from his nightmares. It didn't take her long before she found herself crying again, and her eyes couldn't take anymore of it and felt heavily droopy.

With nothing more to say, the two friends stayed silent. Maybe he’s right, maybe she will get through this. Maybe one day, she’ll be able to look at Bucky without breaking down or regretting she didn’t do enough. But it seemed so hard for now. They were so Close to that; a happy life. It all ended so fast.

But knowing Steve was there, who apparently deals with the same pain, willing to go through each step to moving on, Y/N knew she’d turn out fine. It’ll still hurt, but she could just imagine Bucky finally being at rest knowing she can smile once again.

Maybe she could still keep him awake in her heart.

“It’ll take time.” He gave her a small smile, something that she always found reassuring, “But trust me, it’s worth it.”

Masterlist

#steve rogers #bucky barnes #bucky barnes imagines #bucky barnes imagine #james buchanan barnes #barnes #bucky #civil war #he didn't deserve this #marvel #marvel imagines #james barnes #winter soldier #winter soldier imagines

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