#i need OUT I'M LOSING MY MIND
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#i want out i NEED OUT for my fucking sanity but getting out means being homeless so I'm just STUCK#i cannot stand the sight of him right now but I'm too sick to even like WORK to get away from him#he's so inconsiderate and I'm tired of being his MOTHER and he's being whiny that I'm not babying him#and even if i wasn't set of breaking up with him I'm TOO SICK to BABY HIM RIGHT NOW ANYWAY#fucking hell#this from the guy who didn't even get me a grocery store candy bar for Christmas#a holiday he knows is super important to me because i don't have any family and i reminded him once a week for WEEKS before Christmas#that it was very very important to me to have something in my stocking even if it was rock from a parking lot#and he COULDN'T EVEN DO THAT#I've had to go to the ER TWICE in the last 3 months and one of those was for active suicidal ideation#which he KNEW#and he didn't even OFFER TO GO WITH ME#he just has absolutely no regard for me#I'm here for sex and to cook#AND he's never once even gotten me off#he barely even tries#i always thought i respected myself more but clearly not#i need OUT I'M LOSING MY MIND#tbd#just ranting
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i am not immune to transmascs in sweatpants and a sleeveless top
im rly fucking weak about it actually
#losing my mind rn#i still can't get over it#💀 i told him aksksksk the prog won buddy my boy my guy i can Not think straight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i look at someone's upper back a little too long then i can't get them out of my head for 2 days is this how it is??!#(｡ﾉω＼｡) i haven't seen him in a while im not used to how hot he actually is#which is funny bc i distinctly know what he looks like but u ever just see someone irl and you're like AAAAA THEY'RE HOT#⁄(⁄ ⁄•⁄-⁄•⁄ ⁄)⁄ ♡ hey ..#my friend how close ur sitting makes my heart feel like it's going to explode but I'm trying to be so cool about it#but also not really 🫠#not anymore!! 😭 i need to let u know
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you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah
#sorry i got really into my feelings about mark hoffman again#the very specific version of him in my brain that i really really wish i had the time and energy to properly share with you guys#saw#well until i muster the energy to explode all of my feelings out into a fic. if you want to TRY and understand#know that my three biggest hoffman fic insps right now are as follows#your best kept secret hoffman. a series of mistakes hoffman. and rushed like a dreadful wind hoffman.#there is a very clear throughline just know i am extremely emotionally compromised rn#thinking about theee fics vs the canon path hoffman spirals down#something something the absolute tragedy of watching a man's descent into madness#the transformation of a man into a monster#and what could have saved him from himself and kramer's corruption#sorry i'm rambling so much oh my god i was just having such a crying fit out of nowhere about this#do you think he could feel it happening. do you think he was aware he was losing his mind.#the script version of him fucks with me so bad. the crazed rankings and the longer hair and him not being well kept anymore#it's impossible to think he didn't know he was deteriorating#fuuuck okay i need to either chill or write a whole longfic rn#i project on that guy so much i truly don't know if i could properly write my vision of him#until i do something more substantial the full extent of my hoffman exists for me and my boyfriend only. they get me like no one else#well ginny and jenna also get me. please read best kept secret and a series of mistakes Oh My God#where am i going with this. i like tag rambling actually this is a nice way to do it without forcing EVERYONE to read my delirium#anyways if you've read all of this i think i love you? feel free to dm me about hoffman and my very specific headcanons and aus#maybe soon i'll try and start writing my fics about this tragic man#i could never say any of this on twitter btw they'd string me up for my opinions on him as a sad wet beast who could have been fixed#if only he hadn't been weaponized first#god i'm too tired to even be as embarrassed about this as i should be. thought i unlearned cringe already#but i've been spending way too much time on twitter and they HAAATE hoffman there#rip. i know it's not that serious but i'm sensitive rn and hate feeling lonely in my thoughts#ok bye for real otherwise i'll never shut up. i might tag ramble more often bc this was therapeutic in a way i needed badly#cat chat
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Max streaming with Team Redline on twitch | 12 December 2023
#max verstappen#team redline#myf1gifs#twitch#mv twitch#i need to sort out my laptop i feel like it needs a winter break too#everything is SO slow i'm losing my mind#anyway! look at this cutie!!!!#rather pixelated here but still a cutie#winter break
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they're so adorable... [x]
#joker out#nace jordan#jan peteh#jance#novi val#i can't take this anymore i miss last year's nordic tour so much#god i need new content i'm losing my mind when will my five husbands return from the war
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I know I've been on about this for a while now and I'm being a hater but you're telling me SydCarmy was "always meant to be platonic" even though there are two seasons of writing making use of tried-and-true explicitly romantic tropes, themes and writing signals, and SydLuca is going to be romantic because...he was nice to her on screen for a few minutes?
I don't even care if people ship SydLuca, or if they just prefer it, but you can't honestly tell me that you believe Carmy was always meant to be a friend but Luca is an obvious love interest.
Just because Syd and Carmy haven't kissed or confessed their love to each other doesn't mean that isn't very obviously the direction this show is going. The Bear has already shown you who is endgame. It has shown you every episode of the show so far.
Honestly I really don't think The Bear fanbase understands this show or cares about these characters or the story being told here, which is unfortunate because this show is shockingly well-written in comparison to most shows right now, and we should be so grateful for it but all we're doing is complaining that the writers led us on by not making a ship canon fast enough. It's just. Sad.
#The Bear#SydCarmy#I was like a casual fan of this show two days ago#and now seeing how little respect this show gets from it's fanbase I'm losing my mind#I mean I shipped SydCarmy before anyway but now it means so much to me#it means so much to see such a realistic and purposefully well paced romance take place#so many shows portray romantic relationships and their beginnings in ways that just don't really happen in real life#and this show very purposefully said no. These are characters who are strangers. who are working together. Who are in a tense environment#and each of them has problems - one of them the type of problems that makes developing new relationships pretty difficult#these two would not get together right away. It would take a long time. And there would be ups and downs.#And even when that's the case. Even if when it takes a long time and doesn't go smoothly and is hard -#it can still be beautiful. It can still be romantic. It can still happen and here's how#and I'm just so inspired genuinely. It is so difficult to write romance without being cliche and so difficult to write it in a way that#could actually happen in real life and I really do hope I can write something half as good some day#and then to know so many people have no appreciation for it at all#because they prefer the shows that have characters make eye contact a few times and then confess their love for each other like#it's just fucking sad. So sad that so few people have any appreciation for good writing especially the difficult of romance writing#like I really just don't even know what to tell you. In real life these two would not have confessed to each other yet. They would not have#kissed yet. They would not have even realized they have feelings for each other yet because those feelings would still be developing#and I also want to point out that given the disparity in power between Syd and Carmy in season 1 it wouldn't have been healthy for them to#get together much sooner. He was her boss. He was also her idol. Before they can even get together that needs to be balanced out.#And then on top of that don't you see the value in Carmy realizing the dream girl he's romanticized in his head - Claire - isn't actually#what he wants? Don't you see the beauty in him being disillusioned from that? And realizing that Syd is what he wants?#Don't you see the beauty in Syd having an idealized vision of what Carmy The Great Chef is like realizing she was wrong and that he's human#and flawed and then realizing - she loves him anyway? She loves him more for not being on a pedestal and for having his flaws?#Are you telling me that even thinking about this doesn't move you? Doesn't make your heart ache a little?#And again - ship and let ship - but what is Luca? What is Luca if not just what she was hoping Carmy would be when she wen to The Beef?#What is he if not just another man who she has not seen under pressure yet? Not seen reliving trauma yet? Not been her boss yet?#It's easy to look at him and think he's better than Carmy - and that's the point. That's the point The Bear is making.#It is easy to want someone you don't know. It's hard to want to someone you do know. But that's what love requires and that's the point
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just an fyi, i'm sorry i'm slow. at everything. replies, dm's, asks, etc. this is a hobby and i'm a tired 580 year old in spirit who works full time in the medical field and will be going to do more schooling for it. i follow people for a multitude of reasons but my vibe is always that i just enjoy seeing your content. i'm not going to put a time limit on when we have to interact/chat and soft block you when you can't meet that deadline. i try to interact or like posts when i can as a silent hello from afar. if you are following my blog and expect me to follow deadlines in terms of writing or even chatting, my blog is not for you. i am also not someone who has puppy dog energy to constantly be on the dash and chat and love everyone.
i am a cryptid old cat. i love from a distance. (◕‿◕) just a gentle reminder that i do this for fun, it's not a job.
#i'm only saying this to communicate since i feel like lots of people#take my silence or lack of attention giving as me losing interest in them or their muses#it's not. don't take it personally#and this is nothing about my current mutuals#it's about someone who soft blocked me but constantly complained on dash about interactions and soft blocking.....#always made me feel pressured ngl every time i saw them#and honestly when i did did try to interact or reach out i didn't feel much enthusiasm or interest back?#i try when i can#and when i can't i'm sorry. it's me not you#and honestly aiza.wa is my spirit animal#i need a sleeping bag with me constantly wherever i go ngl#and then i game sometimes#or just read or watch something or draw...#and with only a set limit of time i have in a day.... sometimes rping is not the first thing on my mind :(#* ⟢ 𝐎𝐎𝐂 ━ ( clench your asshole super tight & scream it from your heart )
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Hey Grizzly? I am in your walls.
WHY DID HE SPECIFY THAT THE LAST THING CHIP SAW WAS GILLION ARRIVING TO TRY TO SAVE THEM.
#I'm losing my mind#like oh my God#dm you did not need to specify that#MY heart feels like it just got ripped out#they're tragic starcrossed lovers doomed by the narrative#and it's just a wet fish and some guy#ahhhhhhhh#i should probably tag this as spoilers#jrwi riptide#jrwi fnc#jrwi riptide spoilers
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THEY ARE NEVER. BEATING THE DOUBLE STAR ALLEGATIONS.
#nnt#nanatsu no taizai#monspeet#derieri#monderi#moustachedcrocodile you are a genius for pointing that comparison because it's been roaming in my mind lately#and now it's coming into fruition#i'm losing my mind#i'm losing it#i need to make something out of this
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"Found out"
set in kind of a made-up chapter where the girls are in trouble, or something.
#witch hat tag#orufrey#i hate having a strong cinematic image in your mind for months..working hours on it..& at the end looking you have to be like “Sure. :/"#i'm especially unsatisfied with the beginning and the end and how i can't get eyebrows to work as i want#but i dont care any more... this is probably the comic that has given me the most trouble ever i just dont care#i barely even care whatsoever if anyone even sees this..Ugh..but at least i can move on to the next era now#i'm just annoyed i cant get out good enough my image of qifrey flinching bc he thinks oru will hit him but then he is not hit#i feel like sensei will do something along these lines. i want to see what she will do.#there are also other variations i have in my mind. i just want to know#i just don't want it to happen with qifrey on his deathbed or something. but it possibly will. I DONT EVEN KNOW.#i have another very cinematic image in my mind for something sort of along those lines which i will do soon. it never ends...#btw after this is probably my fics. yeah.... i think it has to be my fics. jasmine sort of goes along these lines#i need that space for dialogue. look - i'm a writer. this is HARD for me. so i am really glad i had the space and freedom of words#to process all the feelings. but i tried to get something out in a quick visual space too. <- me defending myself to myself at cai court#anyway going along the lines of 'Jasmine' - they talk this out and argue and cry and oru pushes the hat at him and tells him#why not just erase every memory i have of you then. That would be easier for us all wouldn't it?#they kiss and sob and kiss and lie outside in the flowers for many hours in that one. and then there's 'Deep End' where it turns out#way way way way more time and words is needed for this actually and that's upsetting for everyone.#the destruction of the hat is certainly another path to take. Can you make this work without that hat going up in flames?#something you have always had and have been clinging to will have to be destroyed. You have to lose something now. This is the crux qifrey#I CANT GET IT OUT IN ONE COMIC!!! I CANT DRAW IT OUT!!!! I NEEDED THOSE FICS!!!! PRAISE WORDS!!!! whatever im going to have dinner now
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some little fanarts for @wispstalk since his work "idle in their thrones" has absolutely captured me. i'll be so sad when i finish reading, it's been a daily treat for me for the past week or so. i love tanis so much lol, but i just had to draw coradri too!
my bestie @ieillorien got me into TES by osmosis last year and i just haven't been able to get oblivion (OR MARTIN) off my mind, especially their interpretation of it, along with their oc. it's been a true treat swapping gay star-crossed high fantasy love stories (whew, what a mouthful) and i'm so glad they pointed me in the direction of this work. i'm convinced having summits on this stuff is one of the finer things in life and i never take it for granted
#the elder scrolls#tes oblivion#tes oc#wispstalk#my art#the elder scrolls oblivion#dunmer#bosmer#erm.. i'm out of my depth here with tagging again i have just learned all the terms from the fic and my friend LOLLLL#i honestly love getting into something without playing it it's so fun. no amount of playing would ever bring me as much joy as#hearing about my friends' experiences and fun and ideas#just my onion#and the fic is just so fucking good.. mind on another level truly.. thank u for the trans guy characters i was losing it at that#i could rave forever about it but i need to stop writing tags nowwww
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F
Frogise
#the ancient magus bride#chise hatori#elias ainsworth#shitpost#elias x chise#robinthorn#magus bride#mtny#princess and the frog au?#I don't know I'm losing my mind lol#Super rushed but I needed to get it out#potato fairy
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I'll never get over the fact that MK trades his friends for power to save his friends. What's wrong with him
#I love you 3x03.#Good characterization/themeing ep/setting up MK's abilities/general power scaling#Truly MK is out here willing to sacrifice Mei's Sword and the deed to Pigsy's noodles. Like the heart and soul of his dad's life#Playing a rigged game....#Finding your strength...when you need it most...#''Staff's just a big ol' stick bud! It takes someone special to wield it''#Wukong what the Fuck do you know man#lmk#lmk MK#lego monkie kid#lmk rant#lmk theme: exchange#lmk game motif#I need to make a post cataloging lmk's instances of exchange theme like I'm losing my mind#We gET iT. I'd dO anYThInG fOr My FriEnDs. BuT aT thE cOSt oF tHe wOrLD#''This is Azure's utopia...and this barren wasteland is the price he paid to build it''#''Nothing comes without sacrifice. Nothing'' -> Azure sacrificing himself to repair the world#''You offer something of value to gain something of value''#''Take me- I don't care! Just let them go.'' (3x04)#Macaque saying to start the ritual for Mei's life#''You're so desperate to end me that you would sacrifice this blameless innocent child?'' ''You're leaving me no choice!''#''You would really sacrifice your own friend to save yourself?''#''We can't risk unleashing the curse into the world!'' ''You don't know- we'd risk it for sure!''#LIKE THEY'RE SO NOT SUBTLE#Tbh even choosing to go along with Wukong's s3 plan despite the risks is like. Okay guys#And then Wukong lowkey sacrificing Mei for the Samadhi Fire like#Exchange theme follows me everywhere. Truly#it's so delicious#I think the hero warrior motif is also transactional honestly#Like your the warrior and they're the hero. They're going to trade you and your relationship for power
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Sketched a Don! (feat. my dog, Luna, and Muffintop the Cow)
#teenage mutant ninja turtles#tmnt#tmnt 2003#tmnt 2k3#tmnt donatello#my art#Still losing my absolute damn mind over having discovered the secret to drawing the turtle heads#I still need to refine the process and work out the bugs but like#I'm wheezing y'all if I had figured this out when I first started drawing TMNT 03 art#I probably wouldn't have been so frustrated
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oh, i figured out aya's skill.
#bsd#bungou stray dogs#bsd aya#ngl this like is making me lose my mind because she's had one this entire time#and it's so fucking obvious in retrospect#but was like. was introduced. slowly. it was not really obvious at first. but you can look back and see how it's present even in the ova.#anyway i don't mean to tease but i wrote out about a third of the theory and then started cracking open other parts of the story with sarah#and now i'm exhausted so i'm going to sleep#but i am certain. like there is no doubt in my mind. that i know what aya's skill is. it fits textually and metatextually#and explains a cryptic comment asagiri made in an interview.#where he said watch aya. like. most of what's been incredible has been obvious.#but no. you can see her skill. and it's SUCH a love letter to aya koda.#in a way i was worried he wouldn't pull off. because it felt like her skill was going to manifest from the stress. and it would be like op.#which isn't. who she was. she was a subtler sort of brilliant. one who exemplified virtue. and this skill is so. it's so good. it's fitting#it also explains akutagawa's dragon outfit.#like. there are a lot of theories i've had that are theories. this is not one of them. we might get the confirmation next chapter.#unfortunately i will need to lay out some confucian concepts for it to make sense. hence why i'm saving this for later. but i'm.#asagiri is insane i want to pick his brain and also follow him around like mary magdalene and learn from him.
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we need to talk about an AU where Janson gives up on trying to find a Cure and instead starts focusing on making himself an army so that when the Cranks inevitably break down WCKD's walls, he can survive
Minho being trained into a soldier. In fact, he's kind of Janson's test dummy. His body is the strongest, the most resistant, so Janson tries out different "training" methods on him first.
Brainwash included. Maybe Janson even repurposes the fear simulator. As a hijacking method. Or maybe a punishment. Be a soldier or go insane.
#just reread Hunger Games and I'm losing my mind#Minho losing himself and becoming a fucking assassin my goddamn beloved PLEASE I need it so badly#both Thomas and Newt refuse to hit him. Brenda and Teresa end up being the ones to knock him out#he wakes up in Paradise under lock and chain. doesn't recognize Brenda and doesn't remember anything#he doesn't try to kill Brenda so everyone feels comfortable sending Thomas in. The moment Minho sees Thomas he's straining in his chains#Thomas thinks he's trying to hug him and gets close. Minho grabs his neck and starts strangling him with all his might#tmr minho#death cure AU#maze runner#rambles#I don't take constructive criticism because I'm not wrong
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