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multifandomfanficss · 1 year

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More Than I’m Willing To Lose Part 1

Adrian Chase/Vigilante x Reader

Featuring platonic!11th Street Kids

Adrian Chase Masterlist

Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

Prompt: After Project Butterfly, ARGUS decided to make some new additions to the team. You and Adrian have been secretly, hopelessly in love with each other for a year now, but are unaware of the other person’s feelings. Tired of waiting for Adrian, you decide to go on a date with someone else that doesn’t end very well. This is Adrian x GN!Reader.

Warnings: Reader injury, mentions of vomit, gun violence, panic, hospitals, cannon typical Peacemaker violence and language

A/N: So funny story…I’ve actually had the first two chapters of this in my drafts since last August because I was afraid if I posted them I would never finish the fic. A year later I actually wrote two more chapters, even though this was originally only supposed to be three parts. The chapters are done, but are still going through some proofreading and light changes. I’m gonna post a chapter once a week. The original concept for this story was to write what I called at the time “the ultimate hurt/comfort”. The concept I started with was based on an episode of Criminal Minds, but it expanded overtime. I hope you guys enjoy!! ❤️🧜‍♂️❤️

You were happily kicking your feet back and fourth at the table waiting to be let go from the debriefing. After everything went down with the butterflies, ARGUS decided it would be best to expand their small Evergreen team. You were the first addition. They had planned on adding more, but after a year you were still waiting on a big enough mission to present itself for you to be assigned more muscle. Truth be told Harcourt, Adebayo, Vigilante, and Peacemaker could handle themselves. You were great help in the van when Economos needed it. An extra hand was always needed on computers and medical needs. You weren’t a fighter, but you still found your place on the team.

“What are you so happy about?” Adebayo asked in a chipper tone.

“I have a date tonight.” You say blushing. You hadn’t been on a date in a long time. Truth be told, you were holding out for a certain team member of yours, but you feared Adrian would never get the hint and ask you out, let alone even have feelings for you, so you were doing your best to move on. He sat up a little straighter in his chair and stayed uncharacteristically quite, but you didn’t really notice. You were preoccupied by thoughts about your date and questions from your teammates.

“You got a date? Who would wanna date you?” Chris laughs. You roll your eyes.

“A really hot guy! Who’s much cooler and better look than you!” You laugh back at him. You know he’s just teasing, but you can’t help, but feel just a little hurt. You push down the feeling.

“Where did you two meet?” Leota asks.

“At a bar. He walked up to me and we started talking. It was mostly about work, but I didn’t mind listening to him. His job sounded super interesting.” You tell them.

“What do you mean you talked about work? Your job is a secret.” Adrian finally spoke up.

“Well he actually did most of the talking. He doesn’t actually know anything about computers so I just rambled on about coding. He thinks I work as a computer specialist at Best Buy.” You laugh. Adrian’s face stays deadpan.

“What does he do for work?” He asks.

“He’s a lawyer, I think. I don’t know. I can’t really remember what kind of law he specializes in.” You say, hoping to end the conversation. His eyes bore into you.

“Well that’s very exciting and I hope you have fun, but not too much fun. We have to all have to be here at 9am tomorrow.” Harcourt reminds the team. Everybody groans. The meeting ends and you start walking to your car, but Adrian stops you.

“I don’t think you should go on that date.” Adrian starts.

“And why not?” You ask.

“I just have a bad feeling. I don’t think this guy is who he says he is. You barely know anything about him! What if he’s some sort of criminal?!” Adrian begs you to not go on the date. You can’t help, but begin to bubble with anger. This is the first date you’ve gone on in over a year thanks to Adrian and he doesn’t want you to go on this one and the only reason he can pull out of his ass is his stupid intuition? No. You’re going on that fucking date.

“I’m not who I say either. Does that make me dangerous? I appreciate your concern, but I’m going on the date, Adrian.” You say, before leaving him in the parking lot.

Maybe you should have listened to him. The date was nice, but if you were being honest you did feel like he was hiding something. You pushed down the feeling though because you knew you were hiding something too.

Your date Jack was nice enough. He paid for the date and walked you home. It wasn’t until you got home that you felt not just uneasy, but scared. You were walking up the stairs to your door when you heard a clicking noise. You worked around guns enough to know exactly what that sound was. You slowly turned around to confirm your suspicions.

“What are you doing?” You ask.

“Shut up. I’m the one asking the questions.” Jack says. You nod, feeling your breath catch in your throat. It isn’t often you’ve found yourself in trouble like this, but on the rare occasion this did happen your team was always there to keep you safe. Adrian was always there to keep you safe. A tear slipped down your cheek at the thought of Adrian. He told you not to go on this date and you didn’t listen to him. Now you were never going to see him again. “Where is the Task Force X headquarters?” He asks.

“What?” You ask.

“Come on, dumbass! I know you’re on their team. You’re going to tell me everything you know, including who Vigilante is and what you’re currently working on and you’re going to tell me quickly or else you’ll never see your team again.” He rambled, stepping closer, gun pointed at you.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about!” You cry and play dumb.

“You should really get better security on your home computers. Your computers at work are fine, but the second you got home and pulled out your little laptop, you were mine.” That’s when you stop dead in your tracks. You always do your work from headquarters. Always. Except for the day you worked from home sick.

“I don’t really need you. I could just take your laptop. I just thought this would be more fun. After all, the thrill came entirely from stringing you along. Burglary isn’t really my style and I didn’t really feel like taking the time to hack into your laptop. You were so eager to go out with me too. I barley had to ask.” He laughs before pulling the trigger. You feel a sharp pain in your shoulder and you fall to the ground with a scream, at least you think you screamed. You can’t hear anything over the ringing in your ears. You can’t move. All you can do is cry. You feel hands all over you, searching your pockets. Your keys are taken from you as you watch Jack break into your house. As quickly as he’s in, he’s out, laptop in hand. He’s got what he needs and now he’s going to leave you to die. The ringing starts to go down and you start to feel hands on your body again. You try to move, but cry out in pain. You clench your eyes shut in both fear and pain.

“Please don’t touch me. Please. Please get away from me. Please don’t hurt me anymore” You beg. You don’t know who is above you, but you just hope it isn’t Jack or whoever he may be working with.

“Shhh it’s gonna be okay. I’m here. It’s me. It’s Adrian.” You hear his calming voice and you open your tear stained eyes to see him above you in his Vigilante suit. Your steady stream of tears turns into sobs. You hear footsteps approaching quickly and you start to hyperventilate.

“Peacemaker!” Adrian calls over his shoulder. When you realize it’s just Chris you calm down a little. “We need to get them help.” Adrian says, voice quivering.

“What happened?” Chris asks in shock.

“You were right.” You cry out, taking a deep breath. “I shouldn’t have gone on the date. You were both right. Who would want to go on a date with me? I should have known.” You hiccup through your cries. Chris stiffens.

“Hey, don’t talk like that! We need to go get them help.” Adrian says. You let go of any tears you were previously holding back.

“Please don’t leave me!” You cry. Adrian weaves one hand through your hair and the other holds your cheek as he lightly brushes his thumb across your skin.

“I promise I’ll never leave you. Peacemaker’s gonna go get my car.” Adrian promises.

“I am?” Chris asks.

“Yes, you are dude.” Adrian says, tossing him his keys. Chris runs a couple blocks to the car.

“I’m sorry.” You whine after your sobs subside a little.

“Why are you sorry?” Adrian asks.

“I didn’t listen to you. I should have listened to-“

“No, it’s okay. It’s not your fault.” Adrian cuts you off. Your eyes start to feel heavy.

“Hey, stay with me. Stay awake.” He shakes you lightly.

“I’m so tired. Adrian, I’m so scared. Am I going to die?” You ask him. You think you might faintly hear the car pulling up.

“No, I’m not going to let that happen. Peacemaker’s here. We’re going to take you to the hospital. This is going to hurt, okay?” Adrian asks. You nod and brace yourself, but when he picks you up you don’t think you could have prepared yourself for that kind of pain. You scream and grip his arms, chest, neck- anything you can hold onto.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Adrian rambles out a spew of apologies. Chris hits the gas pedal as soon as you are in the back seat with Adrian.

“I feel like I’m gonna be sick.” You whine.

“It’s okay. You can get sick if you need to. I won’t be upset with you.” Adrian secretly cringes at the thought of you throwing up in his car, but he knows you can’t help it.

“Actually can you try to hold it in because if you get sick, I’ll get sick and I can’t drive and throw up.” Chris requests. Adrian gives him a death glare from the rear view mirror. The two speed to the only hospital they know they can go to, the hospital they all went to after the final fight with the butterflies. The staff is less than happy to see Vigilante and Peacemaker walk back in, but they already know what the two men look like under the mask and the helmet, so it was the safest place to go. When you arrive you’re immediately placed on a bed and rolled away.

“No, I need him! Please!” You scream as you’re hauled away from Adrian. You don’t know wether to call him Adrian or Vigilante because your consciousness is slipping and you can’t remember what he’s dressed as, you just know you need him by your side. The nurses hold you down.

“Don’t move. You’re going to make things worse. He’ll be in the waiting room until you’re out of surgery.” The nurse promised. It broke Adrian’s heart to hear you cry for him and not be able to run to you, but he knew if he interfered that it would only take them longer to help you. The truth was he was scared too. He had never been this scared before. He had never felt like this in his life. He realized he was now also on the verge of throwing up.

“They’re gonna be fine.” Chris promised, placing a had on Adrian’s shoulder. He wasn’t 100% confident, but Adrian didn’t need to know that.

By the time you woke up, the whole team was there and Adrian was in his street clothes again. You saw everyone standing outside the waiting room talking while Adrian slept in a chair with his head against your mattress. You couldn’t really understand what they were saying so you just tuned them out. Instead you focused on Adrian’s breathing and his soft messy curls. You traced each curl with your eyes to calm yourself.

Outside your room the team was talking about you and, little did you know, Adrian.

“I’ve never seen him like this before. I’ve never seen him care so much about someone.” Chris starts.

“I thought he didn’t have emotions.” Economos questions.

“Everyone has emotions, even Adrian.” Adebayo added.

“It’s true. I’ve seen him cry before.” Harcourt added her two cents. They all give her a look.

“But can we at least agree he’s being MORE emotional than usual?” Economos asks. They all nod.

Back in the room you decide to start playing with Adrian’s hair. He jolts awake, only to realize it’s just you and he relaxes into your fingers. He then fully realizes it’s you again and practically jumps out of his seat.

“You’re awake! I’m so thankful that Peacemaker and I were patrolling that area and heard the gun shot. Never do anything like that to me ever again!” Adrian exclaims.

“I’m sorry.” You apologize.

“Don’t be sorry. Just don’t do it again.” Adrian sighs, taking your hand in his. The rest of the team must have heard your conversation because they start to shuffle in.

“Hey, kid.” Chris says softly. You always hated that nickname when you started to work with the team, but you had grown to love it. It was given to you because you were the youngest on the team. You were a few years younger than Adrian making you over 10 years younger than Chris.

“How are you feeling?” Adebayo asks.

“Not so hot.” You make an effort at a laugh. You grip Adrian’s hand a little tighter unintentionally and he gives your hand back a squeeze to remind you he’s there. It’s hard to feel all of the spotlight on you. You can’t help, but feel like you’ve fucked up badly. John shifts uncomfortably where he stands.

“I’m gonna head back the van. I’ll be on coms when you get what you need.” Economos starts to head out.

“What do you need?” You ask.

“Could you give us some privacy?” Harcourt asks for the room. Chris and Adebayo leave to stand outside the door. Adrian reluctantly stands up, but you don’t let go of his hand. It’s embarrassing how you hear your heart monitor increase at the thought of him leaving you again. Harcourt must sense or literally hear your panic, despite trying to keep it down.

“Chase can stay if you want.” She says. You nod and he sits back down. Your heartbeat falls into a steady pace when he starts to rub his thumb against your hand.

“I need to ask you a few questions. They might be kind of hard to answer, but it‘s very important you answer them to keep yourself and the rest of us safe. You can take a break at any time.” She tells you and you nod. The first questions she asked were about Jack’s appearance. It was easy to describe hair color, but when you had to go more into detail it almost felt like you were back there with him. Your heart monitor increased again. You felt a tear slip down your cheek. You avoided looking at Adrian. You should have listened to him when he told you not to go on the date. You then went into detail on what he was looking for and what he asked you. By the end you were crying so hard you could barely get out the words.

“I think they should take a break.” Adrian told Harcourt.

“No, I have to keep going.” You told him.

“No, you don’t (Y/N). You can take a break.” She tells you.

“I have to keep going. It was my fault. First I didn’t check to make sure my connection was secure on my laptop and then I went on a date with him even though you said I shouldn’t. I should have believed you and Chris. Why would a guy like me? It’s my fault. He said I made it easy.” You cry.

“It’s not your fault. Chris was just being an asshole. You are worthy of attention from guys. It’s not your fault you try to see the best in people. Hell, I wonder what you see in me and why you’re my friend everyday.” Adrian says. Truth be told you see much more in Adrian than you’ve ever told him. You think you might love him, but you know you can’t say that. You can’t handle the rejection right now.

“I’m going to go out to the van. I think John’s got something.” She informs you. You forgot they were wearing coms and you weren’t. It was odd to not have their voices in your ear.

After everyone is gone you look back to Adrian.

“Hey Adrian, can I ask you a favor?” You ask.

“I’ll do literally anything for you.” You smile at him.

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to…” You trail off, embarrassed by your request.

“What is it? Whatever it is, I’ll do it.” Adrian says, very adamant on helping you.

“Can you lay in bed with me and hold me?” You ask quietly. He smiles.

“Move over.” He instructs you as he helps you settle into the other side of the bed. He takes off his shoes and slowly climbs in, sliding his arms around you. You place your head on his chest so you can hear his heartbeat. You start to drift off to sleep to the sound of his heartbeat and the feeling of his chest rising and falling with his breath.

“I promise I’m never going to let anything like this happen again. I’m going to keep you safe. I’ll make this right. I love you.” He says as you fade away. He must have thought you were already sleeping. You would respond if you didn’t feel so heavy. You’re not even sure if you heard him right. You could just be high on pain meds. You probably just imagined it.

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noclassnowitnosoul · 2 months

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I have decided that for my sanity I WILL be celebrating 1999 demon castle war day tomorrow (11th of august). i need it i need to be cringe i need to cherish this one thing thats been in my brain forever. i will light a candle, i will play heart of fire and mina's theme in honor of the hakuba clan, i will eat some sort of baked goods and have a shot in celebration of draculas defeat ill post pictures of the festivities tomorrow who's with me

#castlevania #julius belmont #aria of sorrow #akumajou dracula #demon castle war #1999

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rosie-autz · 2 months

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hey guys, I'm gonna take a small break from yo kai watch to check these out

the DLC for cult of the lamb is coming out soon for those into cotl

and on August 11th, TOMORROW IS MY FAV CHARACTER BITTERGIGGLE'S BIRTHDAY YEAHHHH!!! (or 8/11) since hes the only character I got into this stupid game gobb ( still sad that he perished in chapter 7 pls euphoric brothers....U BETTER BRING BG BACK😡😡😡😡😡😪 )

and the FNAF into the pit came out I need to check it out-

#cult of the lamb #cult of the lamb pilgrim pack #cotl lamb #cotl dlc #garten of banban #gobb #fnaf into the pit #five nights at freddy's #indie horror game #indie game #horror game #video games #horror video games

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hand-picked-star · 7 months

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It is the continuation of previous post. I am doing a countdown on the basis of the characters saying 'kal e hain,woh hain etc etc ' basis and their on-screen sleeping and waking up pattern.It's the last 6 days.

6 days to go of the completion of 6th month of their contact marriage aka 7th day from when Arnav started his quest to khushi's heart (aka 8th August)

The only partially-good thing he did that day was 'I love you, damn it.'

why it is the next day: (Arnav said last day that 'tomorrow is our suhagraat' and khushi said to di that 'in tomorrow's puja the shank will be with you' and everyone kept saying 'kal ki puja')

5 days to go to the completion of their marriage contact aka 8th day from when arnav started the countdown (aka 9th August)

why it is next day: (khushi woke up in the same attire of last night)

Arnav decided to marry khushi with full religious rituals and he got to hear 'I love you too,damn it' from khushi.

He did the deed,that he should had done days ago but couldn't , seek khushi's forgiveness.

4 days to go to the end of their contact marriage aka 9th day of the countdown (aka 10th August)

why it is next day:everyone kept saying sagun is next day.

I guess the point of this countdown is not valid anymore as we are at their Sagun ceremony.They were going to remarry soon.

Khushi admitted that she was his all along and Arnav got to know how much khushi respect his belief. So he made a concious effort to know about all the rituals of marriage for her, so that he could perform them properly for her.

3 days left of their contact marriage aka 10th day of the count down (aka 11th August)

why it is next day: ( 'coz Nk said in sagun that kal hum doka main milenge 😁)

Arnav and khushi got engaged and the fact that arnav put efforts to learn about rituals made khushi very happy.

Arnav showered khushi with kisses at the same spot where once upon a time a kiss was supposed to happen.

khushi beautifully address herself as 'singh raizada'.

he appointed a trained nurse for her father so that her mother could attend all the functions.

He chatted with her over phone before falling asleep.

2 days to to the completion of contact marriage of arnav and khushi aka 11 th day of the countdown (aka 12 August).

why it is next day: ( buaji was telling garima about the roka ceremony and then said in next day's kuldevi's puja you would be with me.I hope buaji was telling garima about the engagement ceremony that very day,not like 10 days later.)

Arnav entered the temple to accompany her to seek permission of her bestfriend for their marriage.

he said her that he loved the way she is and she didn't need to change at their date.

he also cheered her up when she messed up.

1 day to go aka 12th day of the countdown of Arnav and khushi's 6 month old contact marriage (aka 13 August)

why it is next day:( At their date the last day anjali asked shyam how would he come to the next day's function.)

Arnav sweetly recalled their mehendi moment.

He also tied her opened dori and had mehendi on his hand only for her.

He opened up to her fully about his past and shared his sorrows with her, letting her console him.

It's a little moment but its my fav, when he was flashbacking about anjali, then about shyam-khushi, he got frustrated and broke a vase,but later he was very calm and patient with khushi.

(to be continued)

My scattered thoughts (5b/?)

#ipkknd #iss pyaar ko kya naam doon #arnav singh raizada #khushi kumari gupta #arshi

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somethingusefulfromflorida · 10 months

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Tomorrow's my big day. I quit my motel job on August 12th, moved clear across the state on September 1st, and I officially start my new job as a park groundskeeper tomorrow, December 11th, just one day shy of four full months without employment. This was scary; it really came down to the wire. I didn't expect it to take so long to find something. I bought a used car in April and spent all of spring and summer saving up for my move, and my savings ran out a few weeks ago. My parents have been able to help me coast, and I got $230 in food assistance from the state last month (I was supposed to get more this month, but a bureaucratic fuckup on their end put my case on hold indefinitely), but tomorrow is the start of a new chapter in my life. I have my own apartment, in two or three weeks I'll get my first paycheck and have full time income, I'll be able to pay all my bills and build back up my savings a little at a time, it's a huge step forward for me.

I've been listless for the last 5 years. I graduated from college in December 2018, and I have nothing to show for it. I attempted a life changing move in January 2021 but things didn't go as planned and I had to fall back to my parents' place by April, but this time is different. I'm not stuck scanning groceries, I'm not sitting behind a desk answering the phone, I can keep this job without having a mental breakdown, it's going to be good. I need this structure in my life. I need routine. I need a set schedule with concrete responsibilities so I don't while away the hours flipping between my phone and laptop all day long.

I'm nervous because I consider this my first "real" job. I spent 3 years at the motel, that's pretty real, but what I mean is it was never fulfilling and I hated every second of it because of the tourists I had to deal with, but this is a cushy city job with benefits and potential to move upwards; this could conceivably become a career, though I don't necessarily want it to be just yet. I'll have to see how things go tomorrow and how I feel about it going into 2024; if it turns out to suck then I'll look for something better, but if it's all it's cracked up to be then I'll stick around long term. Thing is, I REALLY need the money right now, so anything is better than nothing.

#my job #job search #wish me luck #new job #employment

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subliminalbo · 1 year

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Betas #1: The Formless Voice

It is Friday evening, August 11th, 2017 One Week Before New Pledges Arrive

Ana

Ana was barely in the driver’s seat of her old Toyota before she turned to look at Morgan standing on the curb. The large sorority house stretched into gray sky behind her, three stories of history, tradition. The rest of Greek life at Carpenter State had gone to absolute shit, but Ana was proud to see that Beta Phi Alpha was still standing.

“Everything okay?” Morgan craned her neck down so that she was level with the passenger window.

“Yeah,” Ana said, racking her brain for anything that she might have forgotten. “Did I tell you that Jerry was coming in tomorrow at two to replace the broken outlet in the pink room?”

“You did,” Morgan nodded.

“And the new girl is moving her stuff in. Watch out for her.”

“Ana,” Morgan said, offering her friend the best clear, sobering eyes that she could muster. “It’s just a couple of days. Focus on you. I’ll take care of everything.”

“You have the list?” Ana asked.

“I have the list,” Morgan echoed. “I’ll follow it down to the last detail, I’ll make sure the house is ready for the pledges.”

“And Megan?”

Megan—Ana was most worried about Megan. She hadn’t quite been herself since she came back to the house. Nobody knew what had happened at Alpha Delta Theta, but Megan returned quieter and sadder than the girl who’d left for that party five months ago. Ana was searching Morgan’s eyes for signs of doubt, looking for any reason to stay. But Morgan gave her nothing.

“I’ll keep an eye on Megan too,” she said.

It was a shit time for an out of state funeral.

It had only been a couple of weeks since Alpha Delta Theta disbanded. Officially, the school had managed to keep the scandal out of the papers. None of the girls at Beta Phi Alpha knew what happened, but everyone had their suspicions. In a few months, Madison Wells had expanded the Alphas into the largest Greek organization on campus. It started with rumors of legendary parties at their house, and they seemed true too: any girl who attended one of Madison’s parties never wanted to leave. The other sororities on campus began hemorrhaging members. In a stretch of two weeks, the Betas lost Megan, Daphne, Natasha, Celia, and Ashley. When the Alphas folded, only Megan returned, the others having lost all interest in Greek life.

Rumors buzzed around campus. This was all anyone knew for certain: action was taken by administration to shutter the sorority permanently. Whispers of drugs, wild sex parties, some even accused Madison of pimping her sisters. Ana didn’t believe the crazier rumors, like how she’d leveraged her new power to take over a secret society that pushed narcotics through campus, but whatever had happened, it definitely wasn’t good. The dissolution of Alpha Delta Theta was sudden and total. Dozens of sorority sisters were left with no home to go to, and Ana saw an opportunity to rebuild her storied house. Yes, Madison had upended the foundations of Greek life on campus, but this year Ana was determined to put it all back together.

At least she planned to—as soon as she got back from the funeral. She turned the engine over then looked back out her window at Morgan. “Don’t forget,” she said. “Watch out for the new girl.”

Morgan shook her head. She had always been a calm, steady presence in the Beta house. That was what made her a good number two to Ana. But her strength was in following, fundraising, and rallying the team around a strong individual. She struggled to take charge when she needed to. Ana hated to think about leaving it all in Morgan’s hands just a week before the new pledges arrived.

Taylor had been here the longest, but she didn’t give a fuck about any of it anymore. Sydney lived and breathed sorority life, but she was too young and, if Ana was being honest, too much of an airhead to be trusted with actual responsibilities. And Megan, well, Megan would have been Ana’s choice under different circumstances. That just left Morgan.

Ana shifted into drive now, silently cursing her grandmother.

It’s just five days. There’s nothing that can go wrong in five days that I can’t fix.

She rolled to a stop at the sign on the corner of Giger and College Ave and watched Morgan in her rearview mirror, still standing there on the curb. Morgan was a good friend. She cared about the house, sure, but she would always put Ana’s wellbeing first, even if it meant taking on a responsibility that she couldn’t handle. Ana studied Morgan’s body language in the mirror, but her friend was a blank slate. She’d always been that way, choosing to internalize rather than to project her anxieties onto Ana.

Ana sighed as she rounded the corner onto College Ave, the house disappearing in her mirror. She turned on the radio, tried to clear her mind, but she couldn’t shake the feeling that somehow the house, as she knew it, would never be the same.

Morgan

Morgan waited until Ana’s car was out of sight to cross her arms into a tight hug. She’d put up the usual brave face, but the truth was that she’d been a ball of nervous energy for months. She’d been juggling crises the entire year: their dwindling membership, their war with the Alpha's, and not to mention her job and education. Ana was a great leader, but she demanded positivity all the time. This meant that Morgan could never show any doubt. Good vibes only. And sometimes the vibes were just fucking toxic.

Morgan hadn’t had a full night’s sleep since the last week of the semester. Ana had her working every day on battle plans for the new year. “This has to be the biggest pledge week in Beta history,” Ana would say. And she wasn’t wrong. Ana, Morgan, Taylor, and Sydney were the only girls left in the house by year’s end. The rest had joined the Alphas or split when the drama became too much.

Morgan exhausted every party theme she could think of, planned an event for every holiday they could celebrate, but Ana still wanted more. Morgan caught herself in the middle of late nights studying Ana's spreadsheets wondering if any of this was still worth it.

Of course it wasn’t all bad news. Megan was back home, and the new girl had moved in that morning. Ana was suspicious of her, but Morgan didn’t feel that they were in a position to turn anybody down, even if they were a senior. At the end of the day they needed bodies to fill the rooms in the house.

“Hey! You with me?"

Morgan blinked. She didn’t remember leaving the curb.

She'd been losing time like that lately, minutes at a time. Sometimes it felt like she was stuck at the bottom of the ocean. She could look up and see everything through the surface, her life on autopilot as she moved from one of Ana's designated tasks to the other. All she could do was watch from the deep, dark bottom while she waited for the weight of the ocean to crush her.

Depression sucks, man.

Morgan had dragged herself from the curb, up the stairs of the Beta house and was lying sprawled out on her bed, looking half-dead. When she opened her eyes, Taylor was staring down at her, dressed to go out. “Yes,” Morgan replied to Taylor slowly. “You really need to sleep, babe,” Taylor said. She offered her hand for Morgan, pulled her up into a sitting position, “No I don’t,” Morgan said. “I work best under pressure.” “My aunt Theresa didn’t sleep for four days once and she went insane.” “Pledges are coming in a week and Ana’s gone. I have to stay on top of everything or this whole house will go to shit.” “Fuck that bitch,” Taylor shrugged. Morgan shot a look at her like she'd been caught blaspheming in church. “This house has been shit for years and Ana knows it. Stop making sorority life a job, Morg. Have fun. When was the last time you saw Ernie?” “Ernie?” Morgan was surprised to remember that she even had a boyfriend. “A while,” she said. “You’re a mess,” Taylor said. “Get yourself out of this house.” “I can’t leave,” Morgan shook her head. “Even it I wanted to, which I don't, I have to keep an eye on Megan.” “Megan is fine,” Taylor stressed. “I don’t think she is, Tay,” Morgan ran her hands absently through her hair as she thought about her old friend. “Sydney heard moaning from her room again last night.” “So she rubbed one out?" Taylor said. "That’s healthy. That’s a sign of improvement.” “I don't know.” “Sydney hears noises,” Taylor said. “Listen. I’m heading out, but I’ll check on Megan first, okay? If I think anything is wrong I'll stay with her. She likes me better than you anyway. If I check in on her, will you at least lie the fuck down and get yourself some rest?” Morgan sighed. “I'll try," she said. “But…” “No buts,” Taylor smiled. “I want you to get a full night's sleep. If I come home and you're not in bed, I'm gonna kick your ass.”

Megan

Megan hadn’t left her room in over twelve hours. She’d taken a late dinner the night before. She wanted to avoid the other girls.

More accurately, she wanted to avoid their questions. It wasn’t that Megan didn’t want to talk about the Alphas—she simply couldn’t. She had vague recollections of the last few months, like recalling pieces of an old movie she’d seen as a kid: no context, just images of a basement and other girls closing in around her. The images meant nothing to her, but they terrified her all the same because she could feel that they were real.

When Megan closed her eyes at night, she could hear their whispers. Sultry, seductive voices drawing her in, disarming her. The words they spoke were English, but her mind had distorted them beyond comprehension. Even if she didn’t know what her sisters were saying, the words had the same effect on her as they did in the basement of the Alpha house. It terrified her, it thrilled her.

Each night, Megan caught herself unconsciously moaning, “I embrace you. I obey you. I worship you.” She couldn’t fight the urge to repeat the mantra. All she could manage was to keep it quiet, whispering to herself the words that bored into her mind until she surrendered to the thoughts, a slave to no one in particular. It was just desire now. A desire to be controlled, and a more terrifying need to make others just like her. She floated aimlessly between states of awareness and mindless bliss, her body burning, her sheets soaked. Occasionally she’d release a yelp, a word in the series of mindless droning spoken a bit too loudly, and she’d snap back into her conscious mind. I need to stop. I need to stop. I need to cum.

She had to cum. That’s what she’d been taught. Obedience was a discipline, and pleasure was a reward. Only after she fully surrendered to the voices in her head could Megan finally be at peace. But Dr. Fielding had taken that away from her.

Since the Alphas had shut down, Megan attended regular appointments with the head of Carpenter State’s Department of Psychology. In their sessions, Dr. Fielding would put Megan under hypnosis. She called it deprogramming. It included inducing amnesia, removing the terrible memories of the experience from Megan’s mind. But whether by accident or design, Dr. Fielding hadn’t removed everything. Megan’s mind was like this sophisticated algorithm with stretches of rogue code. She would replay these old pieces of her Alpha programming, but Dr. Fielding had removed the triggers that rewarded her with pleasure in exchange for obedience. This left Megan shifting from states of consciousness, her fingers mechanically rolling over her swollen clitoris. Always at the edge but never further. In those moments she was stuck, no different than a broken toy. Megan would continue like this until she passed out from exhaustion. She hadn’t slept this well since high school.

But in the waking hours of the day, she toiled alone in her room trying to piece together what had happened to her. She remembered the days leading up to that night. How she planned to stay in that weekend to cram for midterms. How Daphne had guilted her into going out. Jake Shiherlis was going to be at the Alpha house that night and Daphne had been flirting with him for weeks in their statistics class. As Daphne’s Big, Megan felt a pang of responsibility to look out for the often-clueless freshman. Nat tagged along with them. It was going to be a whole thing. A girl’s night out.

That was as far as Megan’s mind went. Everything else was a blur of distorted voices and snapshots of memories that felt more like bad dreams. Her sisters misinterpreted her silence as sadness. But the truth was that Megan just wanted to figure out for herself what had happened before she opened up. She couldn’t take their constant questions, their offers of support. Only Daphne and Nat could understand what she was going through, but any time she pulled out her phone, she couldn’t bring herself to text them. No doubt another post-hypnotic suggestion by Dr. Fielding. Carpenter State couldn’t risk Madison’s victims reminiscing with each other, piecing together the story.

So, just like her mindless nights on the edge, Megan found herself stuck in the daytime too. She fought off confusion and bad thoughts with a healthy dose of music and shopping. She sat on her bed, scrolling through Target’s website with her favorite emo tunes from middle school blasting on the vintage radio next to her.

Until she was rudely interrupted by a knock at her door.

“It’s open,” Megan called out.

The door swung open wide, Taylor entering part way, leaning casually on the doorjamb. “How’s it going?” “I’ve just been listening to music,” Megan said quietly. “I know,” Taylor replied. “Just–Morgan, you know?”

Morgan was the worst offender in the Beta house’s pity club. The last time she’d cornered Megan just outside the bathroom and offered to take her to the police to make a statement. What would Megan even say?

Taylor, on the other hand, was the only sister she felt comfortable sharing anything with. Back in the day, Taylor was Megan’s Big. She was gorgeous, to an intimidating degree. But if Ana represented law and Morgan represented order, Taylor was something else. A sort of chaos agent playing by her own rules. She may have been a Beta just to fuck around and have a good time, but even that came with its own responsibilities. Megan could sleep comfortably knowing that Taylor was around to watch her back. And she wasn’t going anywhere either: Taylor was entering her seventh year of college, working on her second major, and she didn't have plans on leaving.

“I get it,” Megan replied. “I’m fine.” “Cool,” Taylor said curtly. “I’m headed out tonight. I texted you the suicide hotline number in case, you know, dark thoughts, et cetera.” What’s the recovering brainwashed slave hotline?

“Thank you,” Megan said. She added quickly, “I really am fine.” “I know,” Taylor said. “Just don’t put anything on my conscience, ‘kay?”

“Yeah,” Megan smiled a bit. The indifference really was nice. Taylor wasn’t constantly reminding her that she was a victim, even if she suspected that Taylor felt the guiltiest of all about what happened. That was why, in an attempt to clear the awkward air created by the silence they shared in the lingering moments after she spoke, Megan pivoted to Taylor. “Lucky guy tonight?”

What made Taylor so damn cool was how she knew what she wanted and knew how to get it. It was mostly in the way she dressed. Tonight, she was wearing this gold, two piece that looked more like a bikini than a dress. Megan doubted that she could pull the look off herself, but Taylor had the confidence to pair it with a cute leather jacket, and she knew it was going to destroy any boy who saw it.

“Nah,” Taylor said. “Just hoping to get a little fucked up before semester starts. Wanna come?" “I’m okay,” Megan forced another smile. “Maybe next time.” “Suit yourself,” Taylor replied. “I’ll tell Morgan you’re doing fine. Maybe she won’t bother you too much tonight. “Thanks,” Megan said. “Can you close the door when you leave?”

Taylor obliged. When she was gone, Megan cranked the dial on her radio to max and turned her attention back to her laptop screen. She hesitated for a moment, pondering what she saw there.

The audio file was called "Hypnosis for Relaxation." Too tame.

Megan scrolled up to the webpage's search bar and typed a liberal string of keywords: hypnosis sub dominated femdom slave kink. "What the fuck is wrong with me?" she whispered, but she didn't really care.

She was going to sleep well tonight.

Andrea

Andrea had done a lot of dumb things for Dr. Fielding, but joining a whole ass sorority was a new level of bullshit.It was only a few days after the Alphas thing blew up that Dr. Fielding approached her for the job. Andrea and her partner Tyler had been running all over campus collecting strays. Madison was in the wind by then, halfway to Mexico if she was as smart as Dr. Fielding believed. But she’d kept diligent records of every Alpha. Andrea had seen a lot of weird shit at Carpenter State, and while a sorority cult with brainwashing headsets wasn’t the most far fetched thing she’d ever seen—the thing at Argento’s still had this beat—it was the largest cover up she’d ever worked on.

And now Dr. Fielding was asking her to join a sorority. “Asking” was a polite way of saying that Dr. Fielding had her claws buried so deep in Andrea and Tyler’s minds that they would do anything she told them to. Andrea was, after all, a loyal student of Carpenter State University sworn to proudly serve Dean Strickland and protect the legacy of the institution.

But the girls were already suspicious from the Alphas incident, and a senior suddenly wanting to pledge had everyone on high alert. She could tell that Ana didn’t trust her. She suspected that it was the other one, what was her name? Robin? Who advocated for the benefit of the doubt. Her intentions weren’t malicious. After everything that had happened, Dr. Fielding wanted eyes in the Greek community, just in case anyone planned to follow in Madison’s footsteps. Tyler was a good partner, but this was the kind of job she’d have to do alone.

“Fuck,” Andrea grunted as she attempted to haul her chair up the sorority house’s old, narrow staircase. It was a plush, little green armchair but it had a surprising amount of weight to it. Though the girls had agreed to take her on as a pledge, they didn’t seem too eager to help her move in. She was left doing all of the heavy work by herself.

Andrea closed her eyes, determined to get this ridiculous piece of furniture up to the top step on her own. She pulled her weight back and managed to get the chair up one step. Just fifteen more to go.

“Hey there!” A painfully bubbly voice interrupted Andrea’s concentration. She looked down from her place on the stairs to see a young blonde standing there, her head cocked to the side like a confused puppy. “Need some help?”

“Sure,” Andrea breathed, a little surprised. “Knock yourself out.”

The small girl was stronger than she looked. She took hold of the chair from the bottom and she said, “My name’s Sydney.” “Andrea." “I know,” Sydney replied with a giggle that Andrea thought sounded nervous. “You’re the new girl. The senior?” “Going to be,” Andrea said as she began to slowly work her way up the stairs. She regretted having to be the one to go backward. “You?” “Sophomore,” Sydney squeaked back. “Maybe you’ll be my Little. Wouldn’t that be weird?”

“What?” Andrea asked. “Like, Big and Little? Your sister mentor. Show you the ropes, have your back no matter what.” “Right,” Andrea nodded doubtfully. “You don’t know much about the life, huh?” “Not really,” Andrea said. “I sort of ended up here on a dare.” A lie, but the best one that Andrea could think of in the moment. “Shut up. That is so funny.”

“I guess,” she said. “I hear it’s been pretty crazy around here lately.”

They were at the top of the stairs now. It was a straight shot from the railing to her new room at the end of the hall.

“Oh yeah,” Sydney replied. “Kind of a strange time to be a pledge,” Sydney said. “You know I almost pledged to the Alphas? But my mom was a Beta and I wanted to be just like her. I’m excited to just have a normal year. You know, meet some boys, have some laughs, make friendships that will last a lifetime?”

This girl can't be real.

They crossed the doorway into Andrea’s room, the one the Betas called the pink room. It was the only one in the house covered from corner to corner in pink wallpaper.

Sydney admired the space as they sat the chair down. “Pretty, isn’t it?” “I’m more of a dark colors kind of gal,” Andrea said. “You know it’s the biggest room in the house?” Sydney said. “Daphne was here last year but she didn’t come back after the Alphas.” “I’m sorry,” Andrea said, trying to avoid Sydney’s eyes.

There was a moment of silence between the two before Sydney reached out and pulled Andrea into a hug. Andrea recoiled at first, but remembered that she was supposed to make friends with these girls, and reluctantly she brought her arms up around Sydney too.

When Sydney pulled away from Andrea, she looked the older girl in the eyes and said, “It’s been tough. Sorority life is supposed to be about family, and loyalty, and kindness. But lately it’s been like…you can’t trust anyone, you know?”

“Yeah,” Andrea said with a stone face.

“And I guess what I mean is,” Sydney continued, clumsily dancing around a point. “I don’t know why you decided to join us now, but we’re a family. And we take that pretty seriously.”

Suddenly Andrea didn’t know what to make of this encounter. Did Sydney know that she was sent there to spy on them? She didn’t seem threatening, but she was definitely smarter than she wanted people to think she was, and that made Andrea nervous.

“Thanks,” Andrea said, realizing that she’d held the silence for too long. “No probs!” Sydney smiled. “Can I call you Andi?”

“I’d rather you didn’t.”

Taylor

It was three in the morning by the time Taylor got back, rolling up in an Uber with a young man’s tongue down her throat. His name was Gabe. He was a proper himbo. She pulled away from him with a sultry smile. “This is my stop, baby.”

“Fuck,” he said, unfocused eyes darting over her body. “You’re so hot.” They were both a little drunk. Taylor held her alcohol better. “Can I come in with you?”

“Uh-uh,” she shook her head no. “Men don’t come into the house. I gotta look out for my girls.”

Gabe pulled her toward himself again. He was all over her. “Then come back to my place.”

Taylor put her finger on her chin playfully, pretending to think it over. It was a tempting offer. Gabe was model cute, with crazy blue eyes and a perfect five o’clock shadow that looked like it had gone through some editing in photoshop.

“Here,” she said, reaching into the pocket of his jacket and pulling out his phone. She added her number and passed it back to him. “In the morning you want some more,” she said. “Text me.”

“That’s it?” he asked.

Taylor bit her lip. He'd been a good boy. Bought her all the drinks she wanted and actually took no for an answer. She glanced toward the front of the car to make sure the driver was minding his own damn business, then she pulled her top down.

“Fuck,” he moaned.

“Just a taste,” she said, quickly readjusting her breasts to fit comfortably inside her dress.

She stumbled out of the Uber and over the curb, then into the front yard of the Beta house. She was smiling, still wired from the evening, as she ascended the concrete steps to the front door. Entering the house, she stumbled in the darkness, reaching out for the coat rack by the door and taking it to the floor with her. She was overtaken with a brief fit of giggles but managed to find her bearings. She sat there, straight faced, preparing herself for the long voyage back up to her feet. That was when she heard the first voice. A whisper.

“Hello?” she said. She sat there for a few more seconds on her knees. There was no response. No sound but the quiet hum of Morgan’s sound machine playing upstairs.

Taylor was back on her feet when she heard the voice again, another whisper. But what did it say? Awaken? Submit? She shook her head.

I must be some next level drunk.

She passed through the foyer to the dining room and into the kitchen. The room was dark except for the moonlight shining in through the window over the sink. She moved to the refrigerator and opened it, bending down to search for a bottle of water. Morgan was always on her about hydrating after a night of drinking. She hummed a song she’d picked up at the club that night as she rummaged through the fridge.

When Taylor stood up and closed the door, it took her a moment to notice the figure standing on the other side.

“Jesus Christ, Morgan!” Taylor shouted. “You almost gave me a heart attack.”

Morgan’s body was gray in the moonlight. She stood there with her arms at her sides. She studied Taylor as if this was the first time she'd seen her friend.

“Do you need a drink of water?” Taylor offered the bottle, still holding her hand to her chest. Again received no response. “Come on,” she said with a roll of her eyes. “Let’s get you back to bed.”

“No,” Morgan said. “This vessel requires no sleep.”

A chill ran down Taylor’s spine. As she looked closer at her old friend, she realized that something wasn’t right about her. It wasn’t in the way she stood there in her underwear, or even in the emotionless tone of her voice. It was her eyes. Her eyes shined in the darkness as bright and clear as pearls.

“What the fuck!” Taylor jumped when she saw it, dropping the bottle of water on the floor.

She backed quickly out of the kitchen and into the dining room. Morgan advanced slowly, taking one step at a time. Taylor could run, but she knew from the way Morgan moved that there was no hope of escape. Sooner or later she'd have to fight whatever this was.

She retreated until she felt the fireplace against her back.

“You cannot run,” Morgan said, staring Taylor down with those sinister eyes. “The Master has chosen you. Can you hear its call?”

The whispers came back in floods. They were voices, dozens of them, but one spoke louder than the rest. Unlike the others, this voice was formless but powerful. It cut through the noise until all Taylor could hear was its alluring tone.

submit surrender obey

“No!” Taylor cried. “Get it out of my head! What are you doing to me!?” She reached for the fireplace poker and held it high above her head.

The gesture was empty. It didn’t stop Morgan from closing in on Taylor, pressing her body against her friend’s. She pressed her hand firmly to Taylor’s neck and forced her to look into her empty eyes.

submit surrender obey

“All life surrenders to the Master,” Morgan moaned. “We are nothing but vessels. Our bodies were made to serve the Master's design. You have been chosen and you will obey.”

“Stop…” Taylor choked, the poker hitting the floor with a loud clang. Her voice escaped in a helpless whisper, tears cresting over her long eyelashes. “Morgan, please…” She was a shadow of the cool, collected young woman who had been talking to Megan just a few hours ago.

Morgan cocked her to the side. “There’s nothing to fear,” she said with a strangely disarming smile. “Let the Master’s words fill your mind. Listen to its call, let it guide your thoughts, let it guide your actions. You will be transformed, and in transformation you will find peace.”

submit surrender obey

The Master was in Taylor’s head now, bouncing new ideas of pleasure, obedience, surrender around her mind. Its words were mixing with her own. She didn’t know what thought was hers and what thought was Master.

All she knew now was that she needed to surrender. She needed to obey.

#hypnokink #mind control #hive mind #brainwashed #hypno story #series: betas #series: assimilation #hypno manip #oc: andrea rubin #oc: ana marino #oc: megan reed #oc: sydney harris #oc: taylor byrne #oc: morgan jones

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destielgaysex · 1 month

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the kicker to the whole concussion situation is that my glasses broke when i fell into the wall face first. so i went. to the glasses store next to the urgent care. thwy cant fix the frames ok thats fine i will bring my prescription in tomorrow to order new glasses like i have been meaning to do since January. check my prescription. oh its out of date as of August 11th 2024. and i need to govack to the optometrist to get another glasses rx and then being that to the glasses stire to get new glasses

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yxkanna · 3 months

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okie just as a minor update: i'm fucking off to my new place tomorrow until the 11th so i can start getting it ready for my final move in august(?). so i will continue to be quiet here and i'll probably be kinda spotty what with festival submission deadlines rapidly approaching and cleaning and getting shit set up how it needs to be. AFTER THAT I WILL HIT MY BLOGS SO HARD......... i must write.........

#ooc #moopisms #just as a psaaaaa #thank u for being patient with me bhgfdkjs life is crazie

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watercat678 · 1 year

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I doubt we will get a trailer tomorrow, as we still need a teaser, which usually comes out a fews days before. More likely next week is when we get stuff on 6, which would mean that if the trailer is released that week, 6 wil come out on August 11th.

#murder drones

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princehistoryuk · 1 year

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History, huh?

If you think I’m going to watch rwrb for the milllionth time tomorrow on my flight and then bus to Glasgow, then you are absolutely right.

Since watching rwrb for the first time on august 11th it’s been occupying my mind. A new obsession if you may. Has anyone else’s mind been only on rwrb mode since it’s released?

When I found out on august 12th that it was based on a book I immediately ordered it and read it within two days, which for me, is super fast. I’m a real slow reader and half of the time I don’t finish books. With this one I was racing towards the end. While reading I laughed out loud and even cried, which is super unusual for me since I have a hard time getting into books emotionally.

Rwrb has unlocked a part of my brain I didn’t know existed. I’m in love with the love henry and alex have for each other. I’m in love with the book, the way their story gets told. I’m in love with the film, how incredible of a representation it is for the LGTBQ+ community. I’ve had my obsessions from time to time; e.g. teen wolf, the vampire diaries and more. But this is different. Rwrb is more than just an obsession. And it feels strange. Strange good but also scary. Scary because I don’t want to lose the feeling of loving everything about this story. I’m pretty sure I will never feel different about this story though, but still.

I’ve got some hope that we’ll get an uncut version of the film, so I can dive even deeper into it all. I’ll even settle for all the scenes that were cut separately on the socials from Prime. Give me aaaall the crumbs, give me 10 more movies with Taylor Zakhar Perez and Nicholas Galitzine.

I guess I just needed to vent a little about this since I don’t really have anyone in real life to share this with. I really just have so much love for this story and I cannot thank Casey McQuiston enough for giving us Henry and Alex.

History, huh? Bet we could make some.

#rwrb #rwrb film #rwrb movie #red white and royal blue #nicholas galitzine #taylor zakhar perez

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ramayantika · 1 year

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Random free gyan for chotus here

I took time off from social media, news, everything for a while. I logged out of my main insta page. I used the internet only to watch lectures, dance and writing. I have come back but I no longer login to tumblr like I used to nor do I use my other accounts for Instagram that much. My main account is still logged out since 27th August. Hence, here are some few things I discovered/realized

1. Navigating through loneliness, FOMO, and restlessness about your work/future/friends etc

I took a drop year in 2022, gave entrance exams till July and I have now secured a college. All this while I barely talked to my school friends who themselves were busy in their courses and college activities. So it does feel sad and a little depressing seeing everyone do other stuff while you are here in a small room studying the same 11th 12th books.

Then I made a new insta account once again after my exam dates neared so I would reconnect with everyone again. Does it happen so easily? Not at all. I was still alone. I would like reels, stories and posts but apart from that nothing except a few calls from friends.

That did give me a desperation to share everything about myself. No one to talk to, no friend nearby and you have so much to talk. I remember staying late up and writing god knows what on my closed stories, ranting about my crying episodes every damn thing. Then after getting a college I was still feeling lost, thinking what to do ahead regarding my career plans. I would then chat with whoever I found from school groups or online friends groupchats late at night but a lot of it was just shallow interaction because I wanted to pass time and not utilize time. We all write about the strange cringe feeling we get after oversharing about ourselves, put up memes for it, but do we ever work on it.

Yes, you can shitpost on tumblr, reblog those relatable posts but you have to put in work to control yourself. And after a while I was fed up. I knew I needed to change it. I needed to put a line over myself which made me disable and log out social media accounts. I came back home after completing my admission related work at my college, finally deciding to find my own worth, fix my restless hopeless personality for wanting to share everything on the first online app I get. This doesn't mean that you stop posting on tumblr. I literally wrote in all caps about savitha Sastry, dance stuff, college, yes. But if you are someone who is alone preparing for exams, away from friends, do not give in to that strong desperate urge to put up everything for everyone to read; to share every bit of it to the new person you made friends online.

I have had my own share of FOMO. Not knowing what I am doing with myself while seeing others doing internships, attending competitions, fests and trips while I sit here scrolling right to left. We are all online most of the time, but it is really necessary to not attach your sense of worth to social media.

Some of you are younger to me, still in school, and maybe you all aren't at that stage now, you all can be tomorrow for preparing for entrances or other stuff that will demand you to be away from social events for a while, to have a rigorous academic schedules. It's sad, but that's how it is. Maybe some change can be brought later for young minds to still have a healthy routine that combines studies as well as other activities.

If you all ever get this dreadful feeling wondering where you are, what are you doing, is it all even worth it. I need you all to take a deep breath. Yes, it is worth it. Yes, you are at the right place, and yes you are learning at this age so you are doing good. It's okay. Your attempts, your hardwork will always get you 'success.' failure is a path to success, and all that disappointment, sadness etc will exist. You will have endless doubts over yourself but please remember that all of it was worthy. You will definitely see in some later period that whatever you underwent was all worth it.

But what about my lost time, lost friends didi?

You know little ones, friends change with age. Some stay intact for a long time while some move away and sometimes you grow out of it. Sometimes you will also reconnect with those friends from class with whom you barely had any conversation but later you see them talking with you and you realize that they are fun too.

And about lost time... I did this mistake too. You all never lose time. You aren't ahead in the race nor are you behind. You are where you have to be. You will get your desired friends, colleges and life. But to reach there, that 'lost' time teaches you patience. And to learn patience, one needs to learn how to wait through hopeless situations and endless moments of despair where you want to give up. But that's the catch, if you give up, you don't learn it anymore.

This is why for every thing that sometimes goes wrong in your life at this delicate stage where you all are growing up, I want you all to be kind to yourself. Take a deep breath, and indulge yourself in your favourite activity or close your eyes and actually meditate or just listen to music depending on your mood. Yes, the same advice everyone gives, but it works. You all, me, everyone needs discipline bacha. Wherever you see yourself, be it career, financial stuff or relationships, one needs to learn discipline and patience. You need to learn how to control the mind because it's going to be very easy to fall into a mindless scrolling session, or giving in to other distracting temptations.

The mind loves chaos. It easily jumps to doubtful thoughts. In the end, from this age you need to learn to control the mind and take steps to be your best self, best adult figure for your younger self to look upto. Jin posts ko reblog karte ho ki I want to be the woman, my 10 year self would look upto etc uske liye effort time sab lagana padega.

Meine bhi voh memes pinterest posts like reblog ki hai that were about existential crisis, the absolute dread of not doing anything in life and other stuff that are actually problematic in the long run for the mind. Kahin na kahin tum jab inko like reblog karte ho they do retain inside your head and tum vaise hi mind ko train karte ho.

Aaj jee neet cuet ke liye akele sabse durr rehna hai, kal badme masters ke liye wait karna padega ek saal ya phir baki exams. Uske liye vapas doston se durr, ek room mein padhai, phone kamm, shaadiyan trips band hoti rahegi. We all need to take life in a simple and easy way too. And sometimes these problems have solutions that you all know deep inside but choose to procrastinate or not take a step towards it.

In the end all of you chotus, just understand one thing ki life badi hai. Aaj yeh nahi hai kuch mahine baad sab milega vapas. Phir kuch pal baad tumhe vapas se akele rehna padega yeh phase sabka hota rehta hai. Rona aarha hai ro lo, akelapan lagega but iske liye jaisa meine pehle kaha tumhe hi khudko kehna hoga ki mujhe apne life mein abhi bahut kuch karna hai yeh sab usi laksh tak le jayegi. I know you all are wonderful, and capable of so many things. You all need to wait for a while, and work hard. Tumhare friends sab tumhe badme milenge humesha aisa boring akela phase zindagi bhar nahi rehta aur nahi hai humesha Bunny from yjhd types happening hogi.

Jab yeh sab permanent nahi hai toh bas mann ko samjhao ki apne kaam pe dhyan do. Tumblr pe bhadas nikaldi kabhi ek baar kisiko overshare kar diya theek hai chalta hai par isse apni personality mein pura entwine nahi kar daalo.

You all are made for so much for. There's so much in life that you all will slowly experience, good and bad everything. You all are growing up and I wish you all the best for it.

#samridhi speaks #desiblr #log out maar rahi for now because I have dance class in an hour #this is for chotu mutuals who are in school #wish you all the best once again aur zindagi badi hai sirf vahi same dost aur same school life teenage life hi nahi hai agar mil gaya sab #acha toh good and if not toh aur bhi achi chizein wait kar rahi hai

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cosmicchats · 1 year

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Transit for Week of September 17th, 2023

Posted on 9/17/23 @ 12:49 AM PST

The astrology for the week of September 17th is interesting to say the least. Mars has been in Libra since August 27th and since September 11th, it has been making a sextile with Venus in Leo. The theme for the next month is Justice for Women. There will be a grande trine working in your favor this week helping you accomplish task dealing with your long term goals and career. There is also a T-square that I might make another post about.

Sunday, Sept 17th

Mars is the planet of action, initiation, and productivity. Mars in Libra will bring action that deals with justice as Libra is represented by the scales. Sextiles are about the energies of the signs working together as if they are in sync. Venus in Leo is basically women in the spotlight because Venus = women and Leo = sun/attention. In short, the energies of Libra (justice) are syncing (sextile) with women (Venus) getting the spotlight (Leo). But the spotlight is more so vindication after being wronged and the women in the spotlight maybe literal celebrities or adjacent. This transit will last till October 11th. I think tomorrow, Sunday, Sept 17th maybe when major news comes out with Venus in Leo at 15° which is a Gemini degree = communication possible international communication.

This is further emphasized by the direct midpoint Neptune=Mercury/Mars; the stage of getting in involved in controversies or lawsuits and the pursuit of fanatical plans.

Monday, Sept 18th

By Monday, think about journaling your dreams as the Moon moves into Scorpio creating an opposition with Jupiter in Taurus. The Moon will be in the 12H of subconscious, and since Scorpio already represent the underworld it is further emphasized. Moon in Scorpio at 7° will have us thinking about our relationships (romantic, platonic, business), and how people perceive us. Jupiter is in Taurus at 15° will have us communicating (15° = gemini degree) about our values and what we needed to feel secure especially in our daily lives and health with it being in the 6H (virgo house).

A direct midpoint Neptune=Moon/Jupiter; female civil servant or officials dealing with enterprises or legal and maybe religious conflicts may arise. Be mindful in social settings.

If you’re not trying to get pregnant make sure you are taking precautions. Neptune=Moon/Venus; the female capable of conception. You may be a little moody on Monday with the direct midpoint as well so try not to make rash decisions. Think first.

Tuesday, Sept 19th

You may have a breakthrough at work or in your career as Tuesday rolls around. The Sun in Virgo at 26° in the 10H forms a trine with Uranus in Taurus at 22°. The Uranus Rx will slide back into 6H of work and routine on Tuesday. Uranus is the planet of sudden change and rebellion at 22° in Taurus signaling responsibilities and long term goals (22° =Capricorn degree). Although Uranus is in retrograde it will be supported by the Sun in Virgo helping you apply the action and handle your responsibilities. Are you worried about financial security? Looking for a new job? Wanting to take control of your reputation? I see this trine syncing the energies of Virgo and Taurus bringing application to the values and your needs.

Wednesday, Sept 20th

Internal conflicts will need to be faced on Wednesday with Mars in Libra in 11H at 15° semi-square Moon in Sagittarius at 2°. The Moon in the 1H will have you reflecting about your outlook on the world, especially with who you associate and your networks, you might think you need to reinvent yourself. Be mindful of the internal conflicts you feel this day because they are likely part of a larger habits (Mars sesqui-square with Saturn) being compelled to break. Do the people you associate with align with you? Do you align with the people you associate with? Has your outlook on life or even appearance change because of your associations? Although it is an internal conflict, themes of diplomacy, justice, and balance may come up during this reflective transit. Finding a way to communicate what is happening will be something to prioritize. If you are not comfortable with speaking, you can journal or create some art (2°=Taurus degree ruled by Venus=art)

Thursday, Sept 21st

Any journaling you did on Wednesday will come in handy as the Moon and Mars now make a sextile with one another having their energies work in sync with one another. However, restrictions in communication are still present but you are now forced to directly deal with the tension as the Moon now forms a square with Mercury in in Virgo at 10° in 9H. The conversation may be about travel like long distance (9H rules by Sag), higher education, and law/religion. Because Mercury is in the 10° degree (Capricorn degree), you have responsibilities to face that is in conflict with your desire for freedom (Moon in Sag). How are you finding balance with what you desire, your responsibilities, and diplomacy in your associations.

Friday, Sept 22nd

External conflict caused by habits that need to break will come to the forefront to you today. Moon in Sag at 29° forms a sesqui-square with Jupiter in Taurus at 15°. The Moon now sits in the 2H of daily routine, work ethic, and income. While Jupiter sits in the 6H of work habits, health, and service given. A few questions to think about: How does your work ethic impact your work habits? Are they aligned for your success? Is your daily routine a healthy habit you should be continuing? Is your income sustaining you? Do you need a certain service provided to help you break any habit that are no longer serving you?

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